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-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with! Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him! Chandler Bing : All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece? Phoebe Buffay : Wait, does he eat chalk? Phoebe Buffay : Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh! Monica Geller : Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex. Chandler Bing : Sounds like a date to me. Chandler Bing : Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked. #ALL# : Oh, yeah. Had that dream. Chandler Bing : Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.", "summary": "Monica is going out with someone, but her friends think something must be wrong with him since she barely knows him. They try to pry information out of Monica, who insists nothing is going on. Meanwhile, Chandler has a bizarre dream involving nudity and phones."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Instead of...? Chandler Bing : That's right. Joey Tribbiani : Never had that dream. Phoebe Buffay : No. Chandler Bing : All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica Geller : And they weren't looking at you before?! Chandler Bing : Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me! Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. Monica Geller : Are you okay, sweetie?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss having dreams, while Phoebe and Monica listen. The phone rings, and Chandler is unsure of what to do. His mother calls, which is unusual since she never calls him. Joey says something suicidal, and Monica checks in on him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... Chandler Bing : Cookie? Monica Geller : Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh. Monica Geller : Let me get you some coffee. Ross Geller : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Oh! Ross Geller : No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Be murky! Ross Geller : I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.", "summary": "Ross has an unsettling sensation like someone pulled his small intestine out of his mouth and tied it around his neck. Chandler offers him a cookie to distract him, but Monica reveals that Carol moved out today. Joey expresses dismay, and Monica offers Ross coffee. Ross declines and tells Phoebe to stop cleansing his aura, causing her to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No you don't. Ross Geller : No I don't, to hell with her, she left me! Joey Tribbiani : And you never knew she was a lesbian... Ross Geller : No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know? Chandler Bing : Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... Did I say that out loud? Ross Geller : I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well. Monica Geller : Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., \"I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren.\" was what? A wrong number? Ross Geller : Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? Joey Tribbiani : Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!", "summary": "Ross Geller's ex-wife left him and he is struggling to cope with the pain and anger. Monica Geller tries to comfort him, but he lashes out at her. Joey Tribbiani suggests that Ross should go to a strip club to distract himself from his emotional pain."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again! Chandler Bing : And I just want a million dollars! Monica Geller : Rachel?! Rachel Green : Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are! Waitress : Can I get you some coffee? Monica Geller : De-caff. Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? Rachel Green : Hi, sure! Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? Rachel Green : Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.", "summary": "Rachel discovers she is more attracted to a gravy boat than her fianc\u00e9 Barry, leading her to question why she is getting married and who she is doing it for. She turns to an old friend Monica for support, but things get complicated when Monica's brother Ross enters the scene."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Who wasn't invited to the wedding. Rachel Green : Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... Monica Geller : Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it. Chandler Bing : Tuna or egg salad? Decide! Ross Geller : I'll have whatever Christine is having. Rachel Green : Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me! Phoebe Buffay : If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. Chandler Bing : Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. Joey Tribbiani : I say push her down the stairs. Chandler Bing : Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross's wedding is threatened when a surprise guest arrives uninvited. Meanwhile, Chandler and Joey argue over food choices, and Phoebe has a strange concern about her hair."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy! Ross Geller : You can see where he'd have trouble. Rachel Green : Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica. Monica Geller : Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica... Rachel Green : Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!! Monica Geller : Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things... Phoebe Buffay : Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few... Rachel Green : I'm all better now. Phoebe Buffay : I helped! Monica Geller : Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.", "summary": "Rachel wants to be something other than a shoe, and her father has trouble understanding her metaphor. She stays with Monica instead of returning home."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot. Monica Geller : Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day! Joey Tribbiani : What, like there's a rule or something? Chandler Bing : Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound. Paul the Wine Guy : It's, uh, it's Paul. Monica Geller : Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in! Joey Tribbiani : Who's Paul? Ross Geller : Paul the Wine Guy, Paul? Monica Geller : Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy? Ross Geller : He finally asked you out?", "summary": "Joey hits on a woman at her wedding, while Chandler is away a lot and Monica doesn't want him to do it again. A man named Paul tries to enter the building but is buzzed in by Monica. It is revealed that Paul is not a real date for Monica tonight."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yes! Chandler Bing : Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment. Monica Geller : Rach, wait, I can cancel... Rachel Green : Please, no, go, that'd be fine! Monica Geller : Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay? Ross Geller : That'd be good... Monica Geller : Really? Ross Geller : No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy! Phoebe Buffay : What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? Monica Geller : Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. ... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.", "summary": "Monica invites Rachel to join her and Ross on a trip, but Rachel hesitates and Monica offers to cancel the trip. Chandler interrupts and makes a joke about Dear Diary, and Monica asks if Rachel is okay. Ross suggests that Monica should go ahead and leave without Rachel, and Phoebe wonders what \"Paul the Wine Guy\" does."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it? Monica Geller : Okay, umm-umm, I'll just--I'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah... Ross Geller : A wandering? Monica Geller : Change! Okay, sit down. Two seconds. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Paul! Paul the Wine Guy : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red. Monica Geller : Shut up, Joey!", "summary": "Paul, a wine expert, visits the group and they engage in small talk until Monica interrupts to say she needs to leave for a moment. Ross makes a comment about Monica's sudden departure, and Phoebe pulls out four eyelashes, which could be a cause for concern. Joey shares a tip he learned from Paul about how to massage Monica's neck, but Monica quickly shuts him down."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight? Rachel Green : Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing! Ross Geller : Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we're very excited about it. Rachel Green : Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day. Ross Geller : Okay, sure. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs, you wanna help? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to. Phoebe Buffay : Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- Thank you. La-la-la-la...ohhh! Ross Geller : I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their plans for the evening while assembling furniture with Joey and Chandler. However, Rachel decides to stay home instead, leading Ross to express frustration at not having a brackety thing or worm guys for attaching the side things. Phoebe enters and sings about love before leaving abruptly."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here. Chandler Bing : It's a beautiful thing. Joey Tribbiani : What's this? Chandler Bing : I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket. Joey Tribbiani : Which goes where? Chandler Bing : I have no idea. Joey Tribbiani : Done with the bookcase! Chandler Bing : All finished! Ross Geller : This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler are trying to fix a bookcase, but they have no idea how to assemble it. Joey finds an 'L'-shaped bracket, but he has no idea where it goes. Chandler tries to help, but he's also clueless. Ross enters the room and reveals that the bookcase belonged to Carol, his ex-wife, who used to drink her favorite beer out of a can. Joey is uninterested in the story and wants to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes, please don't spoil all this fun. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get? Ross Geller : You guys. Chandler Bing : Oh, God. Joey Tribbiani : You got screwed. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Paul the Wine Guy : I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get? Monica Geller : My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it? Paul the Wine Guy : Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-", "summary": "Ross gets scammed by his dentist girlfriend who is secretly selling his belongings to pay for her dental procedures."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : -leg? Paul the Wine Guy : That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch. Monica Geller : You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel. Paul the Wine Guy : Ooh, steer clear of you. Monica Geller : That's right. Rachel Green : Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... Ross Geller : I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced! Joey Tribbiani : Shut up! Chandler Bing : You must stop! Ross Geller : That only took me an hour.", "summary": "Monica broke a watch, Rachel shredded her boyfriend's towel, and Barry is getting married. Ross is divorced at 26."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point! Ross Geller : You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her... Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon! Ross Geller : I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny. Chandler Bing : Stay out of my freezer! Paul the Wine Guy : Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh... Monica Geller : What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles? Paul the Wine Guy : No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation. Monica Geller : Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date? Paul the Wine Guy : Isn't there?", "summary": "Ross is worried about finding love again after his recent heartbreak, and Chandler tries to reassure him that he doesn't need to worry because he hasn't had a long-lasting relationship either. Joey argues that there are plenty of women out there for everyone, and Monica joins in with her own concerns about love and relationships. Paul the Wine Guy shares his recent experiences with a woman who left him on the fifth date."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say? Paul the Wine Guy : Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. ...Sexually. Monica Geller : Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry... Paul the Wine Guy : It's okay... Monica Geller : I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long? Paul the Wine Guy : Two years. Monica Geller : Wow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her watch! Paul the Wine Guy : So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date? Monica Geller : ...Yeah. Yeah, I do. Priest On Tv : We are gathered here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles, Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of holy matrimony.", "summary": "Paul hasn't been able to perform sexually since his ex-girlfriend left him two years ago. Monica tries to offer support but accidentally insults Paul further. The couple then discusses their past relationships and future plans for a fifth date."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh...see... but Joanne loved Chachi! That's the difference! Ross Geller : Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you? Joey Tribbiani : Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, Chandler Bing : Angela's the screamer, Andrea has cats. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. Ross Geller : Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna ask? Rachel Green : Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life. Chandler Bing : That is amazing. Joey Tribbiani : Congratulations. Rachel Green : Y'know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.", "summary": "Ross is unable to ask a woman out due to his lack of confidence, while Joey has a date with Andrea (or is it Angela?). Chandler and Rachel are trying coffee for the first time, and Rachel is excited about her newfound ability to make coffee."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... Although actually I'm really not that hungry... Monica Geller : Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here. #ALL# : Morning. Good morning. Paul the Wine Guy : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Morning, Paul. Rachel Green : Hello, Paul. Chandler Bing : Hi, Paul, is it? Paul the Wine Guy : Thank you! Thank you so much! Monica Geller : Stop!", "summary": "Chandler invades Poland and boasts about his abilities, while Joey makes a poorly timed food joke. Monica enters with her friends, and Paul the Wine Guy greets them. Rachel says hello, and Chandler confirms Paul's name."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul the Wine Guy : No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness. Monica Geller : We'll talk later. Paul the Wine Guy : Yeah. Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date? Monica Geller : Shut up, and put my table back. #ALL# : Okayyy! Chandler Bing : All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference... Rachel Green : So, like, you guys all have jobs? Monica Geller : Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I'm an actor.", "summary": "Paul experienced multiple significant events on a single night, including multiple birthdays, graduations, and a barn raising scene from the movie Witness. Monica dismisses their conversation and Joey questions Paul about what constitutes a real date. Chandler heads to work, and Rachel wonders how they afford things with their jobs."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow! Would I have seen you in anything? Joey Tribbiani : I doubt it. Mostly regional work. Monica Geller : Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park. Joey Tribbiani : Look, it was a job all right? Chandler Bing : 'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.' Joey Tribbiani : I will not take this abuse. Chandler Bing : You're right, I'm sorry. \"Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy...\" Joey Tribbiani : You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? Monica Geller : So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling. Rachel Green : I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.", "summary": "A conversation about acting and theater productions, including a reference to a play called \"Pinocchio\" and a character named Gippetto. The group mentions a past performance and jokes about the actor's abilities."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. Monica Geller : Well, it's like that. With feelings. Rachel Green : Oh wow. Are you in trouble. Monica Geller : Big time! Rachel Green : Want a wedding dress? Hardly used. Monica Geller : I think we are getting a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work. Rachel Green : Oh, look, wish me luck! Monica Geller : What for? Rachel Green : I'm gonna go get one of those job things.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss a man named Tony DeMarco, with feelings similar to Monica's situation with Chandler. Monica tries to brush it off but is clearly distracted and later decides to focus on work to avoid thinking about him. Rachel offers support before leaving for an unknown job-related activity."}
-{"dialogues": "Franny : Hey, Monica! Monica Geller : Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida? Franny : You had sex, didn't you? Monica Geller : How do you do that? Franny : Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex! So? Who? Monica Geller : You know Paul? Franny : Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul. Monica Geller : You mean you know Paul like I know Paul? Franny : Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years. Joey Tribbiani : Of course it was a line!", "summary": "Franny accuses Monica of having sex while she was away on vacation, and Monica denies it. Franny is jealous and jokes that she is responsible for Paul's (a wine guy) snap in his turtle. Joey chimes in and agrees that it was a good line."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that? Ross Geller : I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'. Monica Geller : I hate men! I hate men! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe. Monica Geller : Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear? Phoebe Buffay : All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. Monica Geller : I just thought he was nice, y'know? Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you didn't know it was a line! Rachel Green : Guess what? Ross Geller : You got a job?", "summary": "Monica discovers that someone has been leaving her mysterious gifts and messages. She and Ross speculate about the identity of the sender, with Ross suggesting it may be a romantic interest and Monica reacting negatively. Phoebe tries to reassure Monica that she doesn't have a \"beacon\" attracting unwanted attention, and Joey reveals that he thinks the gifts are from someone trying to get in good with Monica. Rachel joins the conversation and mentions that Ross has gotten a job."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today. Chandler Bing : And yet you're surprisingly upbeat. Rachel Green : You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off! Chandler Bing : Oh, how well you know me... Rachel Green : They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots! Monica Geller : How'd you pay for them? Rachel Green : Uh, credit card. Monica Geller : And who pays for that? Rachel Green : Um... my... father. Rachel Green : Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.", "summary": "Rachel buys expensive boots on sale and is upbeat despite having interviewed for 12 jobs and been rejected. Chandler teases Rachel about her new boots while Monica wonders how she paid for them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life. Rachel Green : I know that. That's why I was getting married. Phoebe Buffay : Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time. Rachel Green : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel. Ross Geller : The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'... Monica Geller : All right, you ready? Rachel Green : No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? \"Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?\" Come on, I can't do this! Monica Geller : You can, I know you can! Rachel Green : I don't think so.", "summary": "Rachel Green plans to get married but feels unprepared for adulthood, while her friends offer support and share their own experiences of navigating independence."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! Ross Geller : C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,... #ALL# : Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... Rachel Green : Y'know what? I think we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic gesture... Monica Geller : Rachel! That was a library card! #ALL# : Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.. Chandler Bing : Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream. Monica Geller : Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it! Monica Geller : Well, that's it You gonna crash on the couch? Ross Geller : No. No, I gotta go home sometime.", "summary": "Ross makes coffee and is confident in his abilities, but Rachel destroys the library card with a cutter. They decide to leave it as a symbolic gesture, and Chandler hears a thousand retailers screaming. Monica welcomes them to the real world and jokes about loving it, despite its difficulties. Finally, Ross declines to crash on the couch and plans to return home."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You be okay? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. What? Monica Geller : That's Paul's watch. You just put it back where you found it. Oh boy. Alright. Goodnight, everybody. Rachel Green : Goodnight. Ross Geller : Mmm. Oh, no- Rachel Green : Sorry- Ross Geller : No no no, go- Rachel Green : No, you have it, really, I don't want it- Ross Geller : Split it?", "summary": "Ross finds Paul's watch on the floor and tries to give it back to Monica, but she is hesitant. Rachel intervenes and suggests splitting the watch between them, but Monica is not interested."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you. Rachel Green : I knew. Ross Geller : You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother. Rachel Green : I did. Ross Geller : Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe? Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe... Ross Geller : Okay... okay, maybe I will... Rachel Green : Goodnight. Ross Geller : Goodnight.", "summary": "Ross confesses his high school crush on Rachel and asks her out, with mixed results."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : See ya.... Waitwait, what's with you? Ross Geller : I just grabbed a spoon. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe what I'm hearing here. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe what I'm hearing here... Monica Geller : What? I-I said you had a- Phoebe Buffay : What I said you had... Monica Geller : Would you stop? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, was I doing it again? #ALL# : Yes! Monica Geller : I said that you had a nice butt, it's just not a great butt.", "summary": "Ross has a spoon, Joey can't believe what he's hearing, Phoebe can't believe what she's hearing, and Monica says that Ross has a nice butt but it's not a great butt."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya. Ross Geller : There's an image. Rachel Green : Would anybody like more coffee? Chandler Bing : Did you make it, or are you just serving it? Rachel Green : I'm just serving it. #ALL# : Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee. Chandler Bing : Kids, new dream... I'm in Las Vegas. Customer : Ahh, miss? More coffee? Rachel Green : Ugh. Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there? Go ahead. Thank you. Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas. Chandler Bing : Okay, so, I'm in Las Vegas... I'm Liza Minelli-", "summary": "Lasst of Friends are at a coffee shop when they start talking about butts and Las Vegas. Chandler pretends to be Liza Minelli and talks about being in Las Vegas."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, right!.......Y'serious? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Rachel Green : Everything you need to know is in that first kiss. Monica Geller : Absolutely. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out. Ross Geller : Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket. Chandler Bing : The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone. Joey Tribbiani : ....Are we still talking about sex?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel emphasize the importance of kissing in a relationship, while Chandler compares it to an opening act that's not as enjoyable as the main event. Joey and Ross also share their opinions on the matter, with Joey joking about wanting the comedian back. Finally, Rachel advises against neglecting the importance of kissing in a relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry? Marsha : Well, she has issues. Ross Geller : Does she. Marsha : He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet! Ross Geller : Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See? Marsha : Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife? Ross Geller : No. No. Marsha : Yes, it is. Carol! Hi! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, yes, it is. How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age. Ross Geller : Hi.", "summary": "Ross and Marsha discuss a friend's relationship issues while also bringing up their own past experiences with ex-partners."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : So. Ross Geller : You look great. I, uh... I hate that. Carol Willick : Sorry. You look good too. Ross Geller : Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh... Carol Willick : A lesbian? Ross Geller : Well... you never know. How's, um.. how's the family? Carol Willick : Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh- Ross Geller : Why- why are you here, Carol? Carol Willick : I'm pregnant. Ross Geller : Pregnant?!", "summary": "Carol Willick is pregnant, and meets with Ross Geller at a coffee shop. They exchange pleasantries before Carol reveals she is expecting a child. Ross expresses surprise and curiosity about the baby's father, and Carol explains that she is a lesbian. The conversation ends abruptly when Ross asks why Carol is there, leading to an awkward moment of silence between the two friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding. Phoebe Buffay : ...Then I've already seen this one! Monica Geller : Are you through with that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down. Monica Geller : Whose little ball of paper is this?! Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... ...now I wish I was dead. Phoebe Buffay : She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- -but, it's fine! Monica Geller : Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow. Phoebe Buffay : Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way.", "summary": "Chandler writes a note to himself and then realizes he doesn't need it, so he balls it up and wishes he was dead. Monica finds a ball of paper that belongs to Chandler and becomes angry. Phoebe tries to defuse the situation, but Monica is still upset. The conversation escalates into a series of absurd statements and misunderstandings."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come. Monica Geller : That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born. Chandler Bing : Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster! #ALL# : Eeaagh! Rachel Green : Has anybody seen my engagement ring? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's beautiful. Rachel Green : Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God.... Phoebe Buffay : No, look, don't touch that!", "summary": "Ross is the \"Prince\" in Monica's parents' eyes, and they have a ceremony for him. Chandler makes a joke about Ugly Naked Guy getting a Thighmaster. Rachel can't find her engagement ring, and Phoebe admires it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder... Monica Geller : Easy Rach, we'll find it. Won't we! Chandler Bing : Oh! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, when'd'ya have it on last? Phoebe Buffay : Doy! Probably right before she lost it! Chandler Bing : You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days... Rachel Green : I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with... Chandler Bing : ...Dinah? Rachel Green : Ohhhhh, don't be mad... Monica Geller : You didn't.", "summary": "Rachel dreads returning a ring to an ex-boyfriend and remembers the last time she saw it in the kitchen with Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I am sorry... Monica Geller : I gave you one job! Rachel Green : Oh, but look how straight those noodles are! Chandler Bing : Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne... Monica Geller : I just... can't do it. Chandler Bing : Boys? We're going in. Ross Geller : .....Hi. Monica Geller : Wow. That is not a happy hi. Ross Geller : Carol's pregnant. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! I found it!", "summary": "Rachel accidentally breaks a dish while cooking, leading to a confrontation with Monica about her lack of attention to detail. Chandler tries to help by looking for an engagement ring in a lasagna, but Monica is not amused. Ross enters the scene and reveals that Carol is pregnant, causing tension among the friends. Phoebe finds the missing item and adds to the chaos."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-... Ross Geller : Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. Chandler Bing : Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon? Rachel Green : Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing? Ross Geller : Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me. Phoebe Buffay : She is so great! I miss her. Monica Geller : What does she mean by 'involved'? Chandler Bing : I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done. Ross Geller : Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow. Rachel Green : So what are you gonna do?", "summary": "Monica and Ross discuss a situation involving Carol and Susan, while Chandler and Phoebe share their thoughts on the matter. Meanwhile, Rachel asks Ross about his plans for the upcoming sonogram."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father. Joey Tribbiani : .....Well, this is still ruined, right? Judy Geller : Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. Mmm! What's that curry taste? Monica Geller : Curry. Judy Geller : Mmmm! Ross Geller : I- I think they're great! I, I really do. Ross Geller : Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she? Judy Geller : They all had a thing for him. Ross Geller : Aw, Mom... Monica Geller : I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?", "summary": "Ross becomes a father despite his efforts, and Joey thinks it's ruined. Judy mentions that Martha Ludwin's daughter will call Ross, and Monica brings up curry. Ross reminisces about the Ludwins, who were all interested in him."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant- Monica Geller : No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant. Judy Geller : Well, they don't have to know that... Monica Geller : Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please? Ross Geller : Yeah. Judy Geller : Oh, we're having spaghetti! That's.... easy. Monica Geller : I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me. Judy Geller : What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well. Ross Geller : I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money! Judy Geller : Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...", "summary": "Rachel wants to pursue a career in cooking or food, but her mother Judy thinks it's unrealistic. Monica works in a restaurant but doesn't want to reveal that to Rachel. The conversation then turns to Rachel's wedding and how much it cost."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What's that supposed to mean? Judy Geller : Nothing! It's an expression. Monica Geller : No it's not. Ross Geller : Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles... Ross Geller : Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. Ross Geller : ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem. Monica Geller : So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks? Ross Geller : Okay! Okay. Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby. Judy Geller : And you knew about this?! Joey Tribbiani : Your folks are really that bad, huh?", "summary": "Ross and Monica have a conversation with their mother, Judy, about Ross's recent revelation that Carol, his ex-wife, is pregnant with his child and will be raising the baby with her partner, Susan. The group discusses how they found out about the situation and how it has affected them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done. Monica Geller : Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- -I'd want yours. Ross Geller : Must pee. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins. Rachel Green : You're twins? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type. Chandler Bing : What does she do? Phoebe Buffay : She's a waitress. Rachel Green : All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. Monica Geller : Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are discussing their parents, with Ross stating that he wishes he could change his. Phoebe joins the conversation and reveals that she is a twin, but her sister doesn't speak to her. Rachel enters and asks about Phoebe's sister, leading to a discussion about being an only child versus having siblings."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred. Rachel Green : The lights, please.. Ross Geller : ...How long was I in there? Rachel Green : I'm just cleaning up. Ross Geller : D'ya.. uh.. d'ya need any help? Rachel Green : Uh.. okay, sure! Thanks! Ross Geller : Anyway.. um.. So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow? Rachel Green : Oh.. a little.. Ross Geller : Mm-hmm.. Rachel Green : A lot.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their anxiety about a test they have the next day, while Chandler reveals that he had an imaginary friend who his parents preferred over him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Mm. Rachel Green : So, got any advice? Y'know, as someone who's recently been- dumped? Ross Geller : Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN... Rachel Green : Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated? Ross Geller : Got me. Rachel Green : Remember when we were in high school together? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? ..Ross? Ross Geller : Yes, yes! Rachel Green : Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here..", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their past relationships and how they thought things would be different this time around. They reminisce about when they were in high school together."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Me either... Ross Geller : Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway. Susan Bunch : Hi. Carol Willick : Ross, you remember Susan. Ross Geller : How could I forget? Susan Bunch : Ross. Ross Geller : Hello, Susan. Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...? Carol Willick : Dr. Oberman. Ross Geller : ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he- Susan Bunch : She.", "summary": "A conversation between Ross Geller and Susan Bunch takes place at a gathering where they exchange greetings before waiting for Dr. Oberman, who is expected to arrive."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : -she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation? Carol Willick : Yes, and she's very supportive. Ross Geller : Okay, that's great. No, I'm- Oh. Carol Willick : Thanks. Ross Geller : Quack, quack.. Carol Willick : Ross? That opens my cervix. Rachel Green : Barry? Barry Farber : C'mon in. Rachel Green : Are you sure? Barry Farber : Yeah! It's fine, it's fine. Robbie's gonna be here for hours.", "summary": "Ross and Carol have a conversation about a \"special situation\" with Ross expressing his support for Carol. Rachel enters and joins the conversation before Barry Farber arrives, causing confusion among the three."}
-{"dialogues": "Robbie : Huh?! Barry Farber : So, how ya doin? Rachel Green : I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great! Barry Farber : Yeah, well.. Bernice : Dr. Farber, Jason Greenstein's gagging. Barry Farber : Be right there. Be back in a sec. Rachel Green : I dumped him. Robbie : Okay. Ross Geller : So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made? Carol Willick : Give me a 'for instance'.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying to navigate their relationship after she dumped him. Barry Farber is called to deal with an emergency involving Jason Greenstein."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name? Carol Willick : Marlon- Ross Geller : Marlon?! Carol Willick : -if it's a boy, Minnie if it's a girl. Ross Geller : ...As in Mouse? Carol Willick : As in my grandmother. Ross Geller : Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia? Carol Willick : Julia.. Susan Bunch : We agreed on Minnie. Ross Geller : 'S'funny, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia's on the table..?", "summary": "Ross and Carol are trying to come up with a name for their baby. They initially disagree on Marlon, but Ross suggests Minnie as a compromise. However, Carol insists on using her grandmother's name, Mouse. The group then discusses other potential names, including Julia, before ultimately deciding on Minnie. Throughout the conversation, Ross and Carol banter back and forth, showing their playful and loving relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Barry Farber : Sorry about that. So. What have you been up to? Rachel Green : Oh, not much. I-I got a job. Barry Farber : Oh, that's great. Rachel Green : Why are- why are you so tanned? Barry Farber : Oh, I, uh- I went to Aruba. Rachel Green : Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone? Barry Farber : No. I went with, uh.. Now, this may hurt. Robbie : Me?! Barry Farber : No! I went with Mindy. Rachel Green : Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!", "summary": "Barry Farber goes to Aruba and returns tan. He is questioned by Rachel Green about his solo trip, and he reveals that he went with someone else named Mindy."}
-{"dialogues": "Barry Farber : Yeah, well, uh, we're kind of a thing now. Rachel Green : Oh! Well, um.. You've got plugs! Barry Farber : Careful! They haven't quite taken yet. Rachel Green : And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye! Barry Farber : Not for her. Listen, I really wanted to thank you. Rachel Green : Okay.. Barry Farber : See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist. Rachel Green : Wow. Barry Farber : You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren't happy. But with Mindy, now I'm happy. Spit. Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Barry Farber wants to hurt someone and reveals he is an orthodontist. He then thanks Rachel Green and admits he thought they were happy but were not. He also mentions having plugs and lenses, and that he is now happy with Mindy."}
-{"dialogues": "Robbie : Me. Rachel Green : Anyway, um, I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me. Barry Farber : Well, thank you for giving it back. Robbie : Hello?! Susan Bunch : Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen? Ross Geller : Helen Geller? I don't think so. Carol Willick : Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller. Ross Geller : Thank you! Carol Willick : No, I mean it's not Geller. Ross Geller : What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?", "summary": "Rachel finds a lost cat and tries to return it to its owner, Barry. However, Barry mistakes Rachel for someone else and thanks her for giving him the cat. Meanwhile, Ross and Carol argue about who the cat belongs to, with Ross insisting it's not going to be Helen Geller and Carol disagreeing."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch. Ross Geller : Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title? Susan Bunch : It's my baby too. Ross Geller : Oh, 's'funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm. Susan Bunch : Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is! Carol Willick : All right, you two, stop it! Ross Geller : No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too. Carol Willick : Ross. You're not actually suggesting Helen Willick-Bunch-Geller? 'Cause I think that borders on child abuse. Ross Geller : Of course not, I'm... suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch. Susan Bunch : Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!", "summary": "Helen Willick-Bunch is in the title, causing confusion among the group. Ross suggests combining their last names to create a new hybrid name, but Carol and Susan are not on board with the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do- Dr. Oberman : Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea? #ALL# : Yeah. Yeah. A little. Dr. Oberman : Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. Uh, lie back.. Ross Geller : You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Susan Bunch : Look at that. Carol Willick : I know. Ross Geller : Well? Isn't that amazing? Joey Tribbiani : What are we supposed to be seeing here?", "summary": "Ross is not comfortable with a home pregnancy test and feels it's too hard, while Dr. Oberman knocks on the door to check on the mother-to-be. Ross leaves, and the others are amazed by something."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise. Phoebe Buffay : You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato. Ross Geller : Then don't do that, alright? Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Ross Geller : Monica. Whaddya think? Monica Geller : Mm-hmm. Ross Geller : Wh- are you welling up? Monica Geller : No. Ross Geller : You are, you're welling up. Monica Geller : Am not!", "summary": "The Enterprise is about to be attacked."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You're gonna be an aunt. Monica Geller : Oh shut up! Rachel Green : Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now. Phoebe Buffay : Hi guys! #ALL# : Hey, Pheebs! Hi! Ross Geller : Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go? Phoebe Buffay : Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!' #ALL# : Ohh. Ouch. Rachel Green : What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right? Monica Geller : Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'.", "summary": "Ross becomes an uncle when his sister Monica gives birth to a baby. Rachel runs into Barry and he tells her that he wants to see her again. Phoebe tries to comfort Rachel but ends up making things worse."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Since when? Joey Tribbiani : Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'. Chandler Bing : Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'. Phoebe Buffay : Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'. Rachel Green : And everybody knows this? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Cushions the blow. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm. Ross Geller : That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm. Monica Geller : Uh, Ross. Ross Geller : What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel's dog dies, and their friends have different ways of dealing with the news. Joey uses humor to cope, while Chandler and Phoebe are more straightforward about their feelings. Monica tries to change the subject, but Ross can't stop talking about the farm where his parents sent their previous dog after it died."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : \"So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?\" Joey Tribbiani : \"Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die.\" Chandler Bing : Hey, that was really good! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Let's keep going. Chandler Bing : Okay. \"So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?\" Joey Tribbiani : \"I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke.\" Chandler Bing : \"Smoke away.\" Chandler Bing : I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Relax your hand!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are on death row, and Chandler makes a joke about Joey's impending death. Joey responds by saying that he will have to live with the knowledge of sending an innocent man to die. They continue to talk and make jokes, but the tension is clear."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Not so much! Joey Tribbiani : Whoah! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Alright, now try taking a puff. Chandler Bing : Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me. Joey Tribbiani : No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette. Chandler Bing : It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here. Chandler Bing : Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete. Joey Tribbiani : Y'miss it?", "summary": "Joey refuses to give Chandler a cigarette despite Chandler's repeated requests. Chandler tries to justify smoking by saying it completes him and makes him feel right when he holds it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. Oh.. my.. God. Monica Geller : No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger. Joey Tribbiani : That's ridiculous! Ross Geller : Can I use.. either thumb? Rachel Green : Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this! #ALL# : Yeah. Yeah, excellent. Rachel Green : Good for me! Joey Tribbiani : Y'okay, Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank. Monica Geller : What did they do to you?", "summary": "Plot: A group of friends discuss the distance between a man's thumb and index finger, with some ridiculous claims and humor along the way. Rachel tries to stay out of the conversation, but eventually joins in with her own coffee order."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT- Ross Geller : Easy. Phoebe Buffay : - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account. Chandler Bing : Oh, Satan's minions at work again... Phoebe Buffay : Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? Keep it! Phoebe Buffay : It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing. Rachel Green : Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'... Monica Geller : We're with you. We got it.", "summary": "Phoebe finds an extra $500 in her bank account and must deal with the consequences of keeping or spending it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt. Rachel Green : Chandler, what are you doing? Monica Geller : Hey. Whaddya doing? #ALL# : Oh! Oh, God! Ross Geller : What is this?! Chandler Bing : I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years! Chandler Bing : And this- is my reward! Ross Geller : Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit. Chandler Bing : Okay, so this time I won't quit!", "summary": "Chandler tries to quit smoking but fails and is punished by Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Ohhh! Put it out! Chandler Bing : All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now! Monica Geller : Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date. Rachel Green : This Alan again? How's it goin'? Monica Geller : 'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun. Joey Tribbiani : So when do we get to meet the guy? Monica Geller : Let's see, today's Monday... Never. #ALL# : Oh, come on! Come on! Monica Geller : No. Not after what happened with Steve.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends are at Central Perk when Monica reveals she has a date tonight. Rachel expresses excitement while Joey asks when they will meet the guy. Monica hesitates and changes the subject after mentioning a previous bad experience with Steve."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry. Monica Geller : Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out. Rachel Green : Well, then can we meet him? Monica Geller : Nope. Schhorry. Monica Geller : I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd. Paula : Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you. Monica Geller : I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked. Paula : Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy.. Joey Tribbiani : Let it go, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.", "summary": "Monica brings home a new guy and her friends are immediately skeptical and protective of her. Monica wishes they could meet him, but Rachel and Joey are hesitant due to their past experiences with men. Paula tries to offer some perspective, but the group is unable to come to a consensus. Meanwhile, Ross has a personal connection to the name \"Chi Chi.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Do you all promise? #ALL# : Yeah! We promise! We'll be good! Monica Geller : Chandler? Do you promise to be good? Joey Tribbiani : You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! Ross Geller : Hey, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone! Rachel Green : What bank is this? Monica Geller : Hey. It's him. Who is it? Alan : It's Alan. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! He's here!", "summary": "Monica and her friends promise to be good, but Joey excludes Phoebe from a conversation. Ross thanks Phoebe for correcting an error and gives her a football phone worth $1000. Rachel asks about the bank, and Monica reveals that Alan is there."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me. Monica Geller : Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan. Alan : Hi. #ALL# : Hi, Alan. Alan : I've heard schho much about all you guyschh! Monica Geller : Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm? Monica Geller : C'mon! Ross Geller : ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him. #ALL# : Loved him! Yeah! He's great! Monica Geller : Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?", "summary": "Monica and Alan meet for the first time and Monica is excited to introduce him to her friends. However, Alan quickly becomes the target of their teasing and jokes due to his awkward nature. Despite this, Monica remains determined to make the relationship work."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Yeah! Rachel Green : And did you notice...? The Guys : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe! Ross Geller : ...What shoe? Phoebe Buffay : From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...' Ross Geller : ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured. Rachel Green : What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it. Monica Geller : Really!", "summary": "The group notices something unique about a man's smile and begins to reminisce about past relationships, with Ross expressing his skepticism. Meanwhile, Rachel considers this new development as potentially the start of something special."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhoff impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? Ross Geller : You know what I like most about him, though? #ALL# : What? Ross Geller : The way he makes me feel about myself. #ALL# : Yeah... Monica Geller : Hi.. how was the game? Ross Geller : Well.. #ALL# : WE WON!! Thank you! Yes! Monica Geller : Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible? Joey Tribbiani : Alan.", "summary": "Monica wins a game and Ross is excited, but Chandler wants to marry David Hasselhoff for his impression."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-... Rachel Green : I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. Chandler Bing : Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball.. Monica Geller : Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes.. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : ..I dunno, a little too Alan? Rachel Green : Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan. Ross Geller : Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore. Chandler Bing : I personally could have a gallon of Alan. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Lizzie.", "summary": "Alan is incredible on the softball field, playing every position with ease. Ross and Monica admire his abilities, while Chandler and Rachel tease him good-naturedly. Monica wonders if Alan is sometimes \"too Alan,\" but the others insist it's impossible to have too much of his unique personality."}
-{"dialogues": "Lizzy : Hey, Weird Girl. Phoebe Buffay : I brought you alphabet soup. Lizzy : Did you pick out the vowels? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, \"sometimes y\". Uh, I also have something else for you. Lizzy : Saltines? Phoebe Buffay : No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone? Lizzy : What? Oh my God, there's really money in here. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Lizzy : Weird Girl, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.", "summary": "Lizzy and Phoebe have a conversation about alphabet soup, vowels, and money. Phoebe brings Lizzy alphabet soup but leaves in the Ys, and then offers her a thousand dollars and a football phone. Lizzy is surprised and asks Phoebe what she's doing, but Phoebe insists that Lizzy should have the money."}
-{"dialogues": "Lizzy : No, no, I ha-I have to give you something. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's fine, no. Lizzy : Would you like my tin-foil hat? Phoebe Buffay : No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks. Lizzy : Please, let me do something. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay? Lizzy : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Lizzy : Keep the change. Sure you don't wanna pretzel? Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm fine.", "summary": "Lizzy offers to give Phoebe a tin-foil hat, but Phoebe declines. They then come to an agreement where Lizzy buys Phoebe a soda and they are even."}
-{"dialogues": "Lizzy : See ya. Phoebe Buffay : Huh! Ross Geller : A thumb?! #ALL# : Eww! Phoebe Buffay : I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker! Chandler Bing : Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five? Phoebe Buffay : Does, um, anyone wanna see? #ALL# : Nooo! #ALL# : Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out! Rachel Green : It's worse than the thumb!", "summary": "Ross finds a thumb in his food, and the group tries to figure out where it came from. Phoebe thinks it might be part of a contest, while Chandler jokes that they should collect all five fingers. The others are grossed out by the idea of eating something with a human body part in it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, this is so unfair! Monica Geller : Oh, why is it unfair? Chandler Bing : So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this? Joey Tribbiani : ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody? Rachel Green : Well, I-I could live without it. Joey Tribbiani : Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair? Ross Geller : Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, \"you do, do you\"? Ross Geller : You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly. Rachel Green : \"Indeed there isn't\"... I should really get back to work.", "summary": "Chandler discovers a flaw of his own and feels unfairly judged by the others for it. Monica defends him, but Joey, Rachel, and Ross have different opinions on the matter."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered. Rachel Green : Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on. Monica Geller : Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like? Paula : No. Monica Geller : Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like. Paula : Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through! Monica Geller : Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing. Paula : Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him! Monica Geller : I know.. it's gonna be really hard. Paula : Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends discuss a guy that Monica is interested in, but doesn't feel the same way. They encourage her to dump him if she doesn't feel a connection."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about. Joey Tribbiani : Do you have any respect for your body? Ross Geller : Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself? Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it. Rachel Green : Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you. Chandler Bing : Really? He does? Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! Rachel Green : God, he's good. Ross Geller : If only he were a woman. Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.", "summary": "Monica worries about Joey's health after he starts smoking, while Ross and Chandler argue over the latter's smoking habit. Rachel joins in, with Chandler impressing her with his quick wit."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. Monica Geller : Hey. Where's Joey? Chandler Bing : Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong? Rachel Green : I think he's across the hall. Monica Geller : Thanks. Ross Geller : There y'go. Chandler Bing : Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now. Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart? Ross Geller : Hey, I might!", "summary": "Ross and Monica try to change Joey's nicotine patch, but Chandler accidentally kills Joey with gum. Rachel finds Joey across the hall, but Chandler is happy to be alive after eating a Pop-Tart. Ross wants the rest of a Pop-Tart, but Phoebe offers it to him instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb. #ALL# : You're kidding. Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Monica Geller : Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together. Joey Tribbiani : Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.. Rachel Green : Uh, Joey.. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, God! Monica Geller : Okay.. #ALL# : Oh! That was Lambchop!", "summary": "Phoebe receives $7000 from the \"soda people\" for her thumb and steps in gum on her way to see the gang. Monica thinks it's nice they are all together, while Joey makes a comment about everyone wearing their underwear. Rachel awkwardly interrupts Joey and Lambchop enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Please, guys, we have to talk. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not. Monica Geller : Alright, we have to talk. Phoebe Buffay : There it is! Monica Geller : Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan. Ross Geller : Is there somebody else? Monica Geller : No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change. Rachel Green : We didn't change.. Joey Tribbiani : So that's it? It's over? Just like that? Phoebe Buffay : You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I-", "summary": "Monica decides to break up with Alan."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Look, I- I could go on pretending- Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Monica Geller : -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you! Ross Geller : Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were. Monica Geller : I'm sorry.. Chandler Bing : Oh, she's sorry! I feel better! Rachel Green : I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family- Monica Geller : I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans. #ALL# : Oh, yeah! Right! Monica Geller : Are you guys gonna be okay?", "summary": "Monica wants to move on from Alan and finds it unfair to pretend to be happy when she's not. Ross wants things to go back to the way they were before. Chandler feels better after Monica apologizes. Rachel is upset that Alan won't meet her family during the holidays."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time. Monica Geller : I understand. Alan : Wow. Monica Geller : I'm, I'm really sorry. Alan : Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved. Monica Geller : Relieved? Alan : Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends. Rachel Green : Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun. Ross Geller : Yeah. He could row like a viking. Monica Geller : Hi.", "summary": "Ross and Monica try to reassure Alan that they will be okay after he breaks up with them, but he reveals that he is relieved because he had a great time with Rachel and can't stand her friends. The group reminisces about their past experiences together, including a fun day at Central Park."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Mmm. Ross Geller : So how'd it go? Monica Geller : Oh, y'know.. Phoebe Buffay : Did he mention us? Monica Geller : He said he's really gonna miss you guys. Ross Geller : You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. Chandler Bing : ...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. #ALL# : No no no! Chandler Bing : I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke! Phoebe Buffay : If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss their friend's conversation, while Chandler becomes upset and wants to smoke."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, alright. Monica Geller : Alright. Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs! Ross Geller : Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you? Chandler Bing : Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever. Rachel Green : See, there's always one guy. \"If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes.\" #ALL# : Hey Joey. Hi. Hey, buddy. Monica Geller : Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent? Joey Tribbiani : Probably kill myself! Monica Geller : ..Excuse me?", "summary": "World peace, no more hunger, and bigger boobs are desired by Phoebe. Chandler wishes to become omnipotent forever, while Ross disagrees with Phoebe's choices. Rachel expresses skepticism towards having three wishes, and Joey jokingly suggests killing himself if he were omnipotent."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live! Ross Geller : Joey, uh- OMnipotent. Joey Tribbiani : You are? Ross, I'm sorry.. Monica Geller : How does she do that? Ross Geller : I cannot sleep in a public place. Monica Geller : Would you look at her? She is so peaceful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! What what what! ...Hi. Ross Geller : It's okay, y'know, you just nodded off again. Monica Geller : What's going on with you? Phoebe Buffay : I got no sleep last night!", "summary": "Little Joey dies, causing Joey to feel sad and hopeless. Ross can change into Omnipotent, Monica wonders how she does it, and Ross cannot sleep in public places. Phoebe had no sleep last night, and Joey expresses his feelings about Little Joey's death."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are! Monica Geller : Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : ...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here. Chandler Bing : You got waaaay too much free time. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you. Chandler Bing : Happy birthday, pal! Joey Tribbiani : We love you, man. Ross Geller : Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.", "summary": "Phoebe's grandmother has a new boyfriend who is deaf and insecure in bed, leading to loud reassurances between the two. Monica offers Phoebe a place to stay for the night. Chandler and Joey argue over how many steps it takes to get from their apartment to the bar. Ross receives hockey tickets for his birthday, despite having already celebrated his birthday seven months prior."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So? Ross Geller : So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date? Chandler Bing : Well, aren't we Mr. \"The glass is half empty.\" Ross Geller : Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth? Monica Geller : Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't remember. Ross Geller : Ohhh. Joey Tribbiani : What's wrong with the twentieth? Chandler Bing : Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone? Ross Geller : Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover. Joey Tribbiani : The hell with hockey, let's all do that!", "summary": "Ross has a traumatic memory of the day he first had sex with his ex-wife Carol, which falls on October 20th. Chandler is depressed about Halloween costumes being sold out, while Joey suggests they all forget about hockey and focus on their own personal experiences."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, Huh? Huh? Huh? Ross Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : I have no idea. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, Ross! Ross Geller : Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger? Chandler Bing : You got it. Rachel Green : Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me! Phoebe Buffay : I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed. Monica Geller : Wow, you worked in a mine? Phoebe Buffay : I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler plan a guys' night out, but Ross is hesitant. Joey convinces him to join in on the fun. Meanwhile, Rachel receives her first paycheck and is excited to see her name on the window. Phoebe reveals that she worked in a mine and had to deal with a cave-in that killed eight people. Monica is surprised by this revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that. Chandler Bing : Oh, this is not that bad. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job. Ross Geller : You can totally, totally live on this. Monica Geller : Yeah, yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, by the way, great service tonight. #ALL# : Oh! Yeah! Guys : Hockey! Hockey! Hockey. Leslie : Rachel? Rachel Green : Oh my God!", "summary": "Rachel earns a large sum of money but is upset that FICA (Federal Insurance Contributions Act) is taking a significant portion of it. Chandler and Joey try to reassure her that she will be fine living on the remaining amount, while Ross mentions that he has also had good service at the restaurant where Rachel works. Leslie brings up the topic of hockey, leading to a group conversation about their shared love for the sport."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom. Rachel Green : What are you guys doing here? Kiki : Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true! Joanne : Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play. Rachel Green : Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it! Leslie : I know. I know! I'm a duplex. Rachel Green : So what's going on with you? Joanne : Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm? Kiki : And while we're on the subject of news.. Phoebe Buffay : Look, look, I have elbows!", "summary": "The gang visits Monica's apartment and catches up on each other's lives. Joanne announces that her father is making Kiki a partner in his law firm, and Rachel reveals that she has a new job at a restaurant. Phoebe shows off her elbows."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! Joey Tribbiani : Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! Chandler Bing : We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes. Ross Geller : Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- Sorry. Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : Peach pit. Chandler Bing : Yes, Bunny? Ross Geller : Peach pit. That night we, uh- we had- Joey Tribbiani : -Peaches? Ross Geller : Actually, nectarines, but basically...", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are talking about a pass to Leetch, who spots Messier in the crease. However, Messier stops to look at women's shoes, causing a brief time out. Ross brings up a past memory of Carol wearing boots like those, but never taking them off. Joey and Ross then start discussing peaches/nectarines, leading to further confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Could've been a peach. Ross Geller : Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- -the bus stop... I'm fine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's! What? Thought we were trying to find stuff. Rachel Green : So c'mon, you guys, tell me all the dirt! Kiki : Well, the biggest news is still you dumping Barry at the altar! Joanne : Alright. Let's talk reality for a second. Rachel Green : Okay. Joanne : When are you coming home? Rachel Green : What? Guys, I'm not. Joanne : C'mon, this is us.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler could have had a peach of an encounter, but Ross got dressed and walked a woman to the bus stop. Joey noticed a woman with a similar behind to Carol's, but he quickly returned to finding out information about their shared friend Rachel. Meanwhile, Rachel revealed that she won't be coming home soon."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job- Kiki : Waitressing? Rachel Green : Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies. Leslie : Well. Your mom didn't tell us about the blobbies. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? Rachel Green : What's that? Monica Geller : Weeeell, it's rum, and- Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : We thought since Phoebe was staying over tonight we'd have kinda like a slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got Twister... Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!", "summary": "Rachel Green works at a restaurant and does various tasks such as writing on the specials board, taking dead flowers out of a vase, and putting chocolate blobbies on cookies. Her friends Monica Geller and Leslie discuss her job and invite her to a slumber party with Phoebe Buffay, where they plan to play games and have fun."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Uh, Rach, it's the Visa card people. Rachel Green : Oh, God, ask them what they want. Monica Geller : Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? Yes, hold on. Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account. Rachel Green : But I haven't used my card in weeks! Monica Geller : That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay. Rachel Green : They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay? Monica Geller : Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back? Rachel Green : Alright, c'mon! Let's play Twister! Ross Geller : Sorry, sorry... Uh-oh. Chandler Bing : What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?", "summary": "Rachel receives a call from her credit card company regarding unusual activity on her account, despite not having used the card in weeks. Rachel becomes frustrated and upset about the situation, leading to a series of misadventures with her friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost... Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, sit. Just sit down, sit. Monica Geller : You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independence thing! Rachel Green : Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what? Phoebe Buffay : You are just like Jack. Rachel Green : ...Jack from downstairs? Phoebe Buffay : No, Jack and the Beanstalk. Monica Geller : Ah, the other Jack. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village.. Rachel Green : Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-", "summary": "Ross says there was ice that night, but Monica encourages Rachel to feel good about her independence. Phoebe compares Jack and Rachel's situations, mentioning a magic bean story."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, see, Jack did love the cow. Rachel Green : But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like... Phoebe Buffay : Floopy? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, like that's a word. Rachel Green : Okay, but Monica, what if- what if it doesn't come together? Monica Geller : ...Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question. Rachel Green : Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?", "summary": "The group discusses a plan involving Jack and a cow, with Phoebe expressing skepticism and Monica adding that they often don't know where they're going. Rachel raises the possibility of not getting what they want (in this case, magic beans) and the others agree it would be problematic."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya pal! Chandler Bing : See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks. Ross Geller : Pass it! Pass it! Chandler Bing : He's open! #ALL# : Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Chandler Bing : Hey, look, we're on that TV thing! Chandler Bing : 'Scuse me. Receptionist : It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied. Chandler Bing : Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. Receptionist : Hold on. Fill these out, sit over there.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler play a game where they hit each other with sticks while toothless. They call for passes, and Chandler yells \"Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!\" The scene cuts to a receptionist who tells a customer that if they're not satisfied with their candy bar, they should call a number. Chandler then explains that it's an emergency and they're in the \"predicament room.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented. Receptionist : Well, you'll have to wait your turn. Joey Tribbiani : Well, how long do you think it'll be? Receptionist : Any minute now. Ross Geller : Hey, this- Heyy... Rachel Green : I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down. Monica Geller : No, you were right. I don't have a plan. Pizza Guy : Pizza guy! Rachel Green : Thank God. Food. Monica Geller : Phoebe?", "summary": "Ross has a dented face and waits at the receptionist's desk with Joey, who asks how long they will have to wait. The receptionist says any minute now. Rachel feels guilty for bringing down Ross's mood, and Monica reveals she doesn't have a plan for food. Phoebe enters and offers pizza."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : Do you have a plan? Phoebe Buffay : I don't even have a 'pl'. Pizza Guy : Hi, one, uh, mushroom, green pepper and onion? Rachel Green : No, no, that's not what we ordered... We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese. Pizza Guy : Wait, you're not 'G.Stephanopoulos?' Man, my dad's gonna kill me! Monica Geller : Wait! Did you say 'G.Stephanopoulos?' Pizza Guy : Yeah. This one goes across the street, I must have given him yours. Oh, bonehead, bonehead! Monica Geller : Wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks? Pizza Guy : Yeah, that sounds about right.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica discuss plans but Phoebe doesn't have one. A pizza delivery guy takes their order wrong and mixes it up with another customer's order. When the pizza guy realizes his mistake, he becomes flustered and confused, leading to a series of miscommunications and misunderstandings."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Was he wearing a stunning blue suit? Phoebe Buffay : And-and a power tie? Pizza Guy : No, pretty much just a towel. Monica Geller : Oh God. Pizza Guy : So you guys want me to take this back? Monica Geller : Are you nuts?! We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza! Rachel Green : Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus? Phoebe Buffay : Big Bird's friend. Monica Geller : I see pizza! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are excited to receive a pizza from George Stephanopoulos, but the delivery person reveals that the pizza guy is wearing only a towel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hello? Who are we spying on? Monica Geller : White House adviser? Clinton's campaign guy? The one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt? Rachel Green : Oh, him, the little guy? Oh, I love him! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, wait.. wait, I see a woman. Monica Geller : Please tell me it's his mother. Phoebe Buffay : Definitely not his mother. Monica Geller : Oh, no... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- Hey, that's not for you, bitch! Chandler Bing : Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. Ba-! Monica Geller : Light still out?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group spies on a man who they find attractive, but when they realize it's not his mother or a woman, they become confused. Chandler tries to make light of the situation by making jokes about the man's appearance, while Monica struggles with the fact that the light is still out in her apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh. Maybe they're- napping. Rachel Green : Oh please, they're having sex. Monica Geller : Shut up! Rachel Green : So, whaddya think George is like? Monica Geller : I think he's shy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal. Ross Geller : I remember the moonlight coming through the window- and her face had the most incredible glow. Chandler Bing : Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss the possibility of George and Phoebe having sex. Meanwhile, Ross reminisces about a past romantic encounter with someone whose face glowed in the moonlight, and Chandler requests painkillers."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that. Ross Geller : Look, it's just a little more complicated... Chandler Bing : Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women? Ross Geller : Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you... Chandler Bing : Then what? Ross Geller : My first time with Carol was... Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : It was my first time. Joey Tribbiani : With Carol? Oh. Chandler Bing : So in your whole life, you've only been with one oh.", "summary": "Ross has a complicated past with Carol, who he lost his virginity to and was in a relationship with for seven years. He reveals this to Joey and Chandler, who are shocked and confused by the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Whoah, boy, hockey was a big mistake! There was a whole bunch of stuff we could've done tonight! Monica Geller : Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Well, unless goose is a vegetable...ha haaaah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, fine, fine. Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Hurley. Monica Geller : What?! You slept with Jason? Phoebe Buffay : You'd already broken up. Rachel Green : How long? Phoebe Buffay : A couple hours. Monica Geller : Oh, that's nice!", "summary": "Hockey was a mistake; there were other options for the night. Monica made vegetarian pate that Joey enjoyed, but joked it could be a goose (vegetable). Phoebe slept with Jason after he and Phoebe broke up, but only for a couple of hours."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay, I got one! Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me. Monica Geller : Excuse me?! Rachel Green : Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? She was a big girl. Monica Geller : Really. Well, at least 'big girls' don't pee in their pants in seventh grade! Rachel Green : I was laughing! You made me laugh! Phoebe Buffay : There he is! There he is! Monica Geller : Where? Phoebe Buffay : Right- where we've been looking all night! Rachel Green : He is so cute! Monica Geller : Oh, George, baby, drop the towel!", "summary": "Tommy Rollerson leaves a valentine in Monica's locker, which Monica assumes is for her. However, Rachel reveals that she was the one who actually left the valentine as a prank. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Rachel search for a man they have been looking for all night, while Monica tries to impress him by dropping her towel."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Yeah, drop it! Drop the towel! Please drop the wowww. Joey Tribbiani : Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman? Chandler Bing : I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic... Joey Tribbiani : Really? Chandler Bing : No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. Both : Hey, buddy. Ross Geller : Hi. Receptionist : Oh, that's attractive. Chandler Bing : Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight. Ross Geller : Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my puck?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler tease Ross about his lack of sexual experience. Ross becomes defensive."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ah- the kid has it. Ross Geller : The kid...? Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck. Kid : I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. Chandler Bing : You gotta do it, man. Ross Geller : Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever can't do it. Listen, uh- gimme back my puck. Kid : No. Ross Geller : 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme! Kid : No! No! Receptionist : Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER! Ross Geller : GIVE ME MY PUCK!!", "summary": "Ross loses his hockey puck and a kid finds it, sparking a tug of war between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : ...Now that was fun. Ross Geller : Okay, Monica: Right foot red. Monica Geller : Could've played Monopoly, but nooooo. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Ross Geller : Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. Good. Chandler Bing : Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people. Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Will you take my place? Chandler Bing : Alright. Yes, this is Rachel. Rachel Green : Nooo! Hello? Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really. Ross Geller : Green. To the green.", "summary": "Ross and Monica play a game of \"Right Foot Red.\" Chandler takes a call from the Visa card people, and Rachel tries to avoid using her card."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I've got magic beans. Never-never mind. Chandler Bing : To the left, to the left- aww! Rachel Green : Ohhh... I'm fine. Monica Geller : Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal. Ross Geller : Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right? Rachel Green : Come on! You guys can pee standing up. Chandler Bing : We can? All right, I'm tryin' that. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care. Ross Geller : Multiple orgasms!", "summary": "Rachel has magic beans, but doesn't want to talk about it. Chandler finds a maneuver to turn a sleeve into a bra, impressing Ross. Monica suggests letting it go, but Rachel is unconcerned. Joey discovers women can see breasts at will, while Phoebe wonders why guys can be mean and not care. Finally, Ross mentions multiple orgasms."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night! Joey Tribbiani : No plans, huh? Chandler Bing : Not a one. Ross Geller : Not even, say, breaking up with Janice? Chandler Bing : Oh, right, right, shut up. Monica Geller : Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it. Chandler Bing : No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note. Joey Tribbiani : Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling. Phoebe Buffay : You know, if you want, I'll do it with you. Chandler Bing : Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey have no plans for Saturday night, while Ross suggests breaking up with Janice. Monica advises Chandler to just do it, but he finds it difficult. Phoebe offers to help, but Chandler declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony. Ross Geller : Tony? Monica Geller : Oh, you're breaking up with Tony? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know. Rachel Green : Does anybody want anything else? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. Nothing, just, just, I'm fine. Phoebe Buffay : What's the matter? Why so scrunchy? Rachel Green : It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible. Ross Geller : That guy, he burns me up. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.", "summary": "Phoebe and Janice break up, and Phoebe considers breaking up with Tony as well. Rachel has issues with her father wanting to give her a Mercedes convertible, and Ross is frustrated with her father's controlling behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that. Monica Geller : Did he give you that whole \"You're-not-up-to-this\" thing again? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of \"You'll never make it on your own\". Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, uh-huh. Angela Delveccio : Hi, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : My god, Angela. Monica Geller : Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her. Phoebe Buffay : Are you gonna go over there? Joey Tribbiani : No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. Hey, Angela. Angela Delveccio : Joey.", "summary": "Joey is dumped by Angela and Monica teases him about it. Chandler's father calls him names and Rachel remembers a particularly hurtful incident. Phoebe nods in agreement."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You look good. Angela Delveccio : That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs. Joey Tribbiani : You don't say. Ross Geller : So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight? Rachel Green : Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama. Ross Geller : Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too? Rachel Green : Who? Ross Geller : Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here? Rachel Green : Don't you have a laundry room in your building? Ross Geller : Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?", "summary": "Ross joins Rachel and Monica at Laundorama for a night of laundry, but he has a rat problem in his building's laundry room."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Sure. Angela Delveccio : Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now. Joey Tribbiani : Bob? Who the hell's Bob? Angela Delveccio : Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob... Joey Tribbiani : Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too. Angela Delveccio : Yeah, well, sorry, Joe. You said let's just be friends, so guess what? Joey Tribbiani : What? Angela Delveccio : We're just friends. Joey Tribbiani : Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends? Angela Delveccio : What four of us?", "summary": "Angela and Joey were in a relationship, but she ended it and is now with Bob. Joey is upset and tries to convince her to get back together, but she refuses. The four of them are invited to go out for dinner together, but Angela declines, emphasizing that they are just friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you. Monica Geller : Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet. Joey Tribbiani : Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is... Monica Geller : Oh, god help us. Joey Tribbiani : What? Monica Geller : Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww! Joey Tribbiani : Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me. Monica Geller : What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls. Joey Tribbiani : I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?", "summary": "Joey tries to set up his cousin Bob with Monica, but she's not interested due to Joey's past experiences with unattractive men."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ok, bye. Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna be me and Rachel. Chandler Bing : Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through? Ross Geller : It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal. Chandler Bing : It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date. Ross Geller : Nuh-uh. Chandler Bing : Yuh-huh. Ross Geller : So what're you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what? Chandler Bing : Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty? Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are planning a dinner party for two, with Ross insisting it's just laundry and minimal thinking required. However, Chandler suggests they should reconsider their approach, including the state of Ross's dirty underwear."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way. Chandler Bing : There you go. Monica Geller : Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short? Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Monica Geller : Which? Joey Tribbiani : Which what? Monica Geller : You've never met Bob, have you? Joey Tribbiani : No, but he's... Monica Geller : Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly... Angela Delveccio : Hey, Joey.", "summary": "Ross has a problem with his Snuggles toy and Chandler teases him about it. Monica asks Joey if he's met Bob, a guy she's been talking to online, and Joey says no. Monica wonders what Bob looks like and whether he's tall or short."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : ...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now. Chandler Bing : Where are they? Where are they? Phoebe Buffay : This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us. Chandler Bing : It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies. Phoebe Buffay : Eww, I don't wanna do that. Chandler Bing : Here we go. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, have a good break-up. Chandler Bing : Hey, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day. Chandler Bing : Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler go on a date, but things quickly go awry when Chandler makes inappropriate comments and Phoebe expresses her disgust. Janice enters the scene, revealing that she had a terrible day and craves caffeine."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping... ... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you... Chandler Bing : What? Janice Litman Goralnik : What? Chandler Bing : What... did you get me there? Janice Litman Goralnik : I got you...these. Chandler Bing : Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want. Chandler Bing : That's great. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte? Janice Litman Goralnik : No, no, I'm still working on mine.", "summary": "Janice buys Chandler socks with moose and squirrel designs, Chandler gets another espresso."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's it? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it was really hard. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, you weren't there. Woman : Comin' through. Move, move. Rachel Green : Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine. Woman : Yeah, well, now you're kinda not. Rachel Green : But I saved it. I put my basket on top. Woman : Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds. Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe discuss a difficult situation, while Rachel tries to use a machine but encounters obstacles."}
-{"dialogues": "Woman : No suds, no save. Ok? Ross Geller : What's goin' on? Rachel Green : Hi, uh, nothing. That horrible woman just took my machine. Ross Geller : Was your basket on top? Rachel Green : Yeah, but, there were no suds. Ross Geller : So? Rachel Green : Well, you know, no suds, no save. Ross Geller : No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. That's my friend's machine. Woman : Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it. Ross Geller : Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.", "summary": "No suds, no save."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. Ok, let's do laundry. Rachel Green : That was amazing. I can't even send back soup. Ross Geller : Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent. Rachel Green : What's that? Ross Geller : Uberveiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra-tough. Ross Geller : Rach, do you uh, are you gonna separate those? Rachel Green : Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants? Ross Geller : Rach, have you never done this before? Rachel Green : Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin. Ross Geller : Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel do laundry together, with Ross providing instructions on how to separate clothes into different machines based on their colors and delicacy. Rachel admits she has never done laundry before and is a \"laundry virgin.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates? Ross Geller : Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call. Monica Geller : He is so cute. So, where did you guys grow up? Angela Delveccio : Brooklyn Heights. Bob : Cleveland. Monica Geller : How, how did that happen? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god. Monica Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not. Joey Tribbiani : So, you and Angela, huh?", "summary": "Ross helps Rachel decide whether to put her white cotton panties in the regular or delicate wash cycle, while Monica and Bob discuss their childhoods. Joey becomes lightheaded and insists he's not falling for Angela, but later confides in Monica that he had a strange feeling."}
-{"dialogues": "Bob : Yep. Pretty much. Joey Tribbiani : You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel. Bob : Huh, I never really noticed. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it. Bob : Monica, Monica is great. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually. Monica Geller : I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific. Angela Delveccio : Yeah, isn't he? Monica Geller : It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight. Angela Delveccio : You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed.", "summary": "Bob and Joey discuss Monica, with Joey expressing his admiration for her and Bob agreeing that she is great. However, Joey also reveals that he finds it difficult to maintain a sexual relationship with her due to her being \"too much.\" Meanwhile, Monica enters the conversation and compliments Bob on his intelligence and sense of humor, while also expressing her own satisfaction with their mutual friend Angela in the bedroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wow. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity. Angela Delveccio : Huh. That's nice. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed. Chandler Bing : Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : All right. Well, there you go. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Rachel Green : Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do. Ross Geller : That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross... Uh-oh. Rachel Green : What uh-oh? Ross Geller : Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh. Rachel Green : Ross, what's the matter?", "summary": "Monica discovers her brother never told her when he lost his virginity; Phoebe advises her to tell Ross about it quickly; Chandler and Janice break up; Rachel wants to learn how to do her own laundry."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Nothing, nothing. Lee-lo, the laundry's done. Rachel Green : Come on, show me. Ross Geller : All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink. Rachel Green : Oh, everything's pink. Ross Geller : Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone. Rachel Green : Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry! Monica Geller : Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please? Monica Geller : Oh my god. Joey Tribbiani : What? Monica Geller : Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.", "summary": "Ross accidentally washes Rachel's red socks with the whites, causing everything to turn pink. Rachel becomes upset and worries about looking like a marshmallow Peep. Meanwhile, Monica experiences issues with Underdog's inflatable head, and Joey notices something in his eye."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Come on, they're close. Monica Geller : Close? She's got her tongue in his ear. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross. Monica Geller : Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it'snot really true, is it? Joey Tribbiani : Well, who's to say what's true? I mean... Monica Geller : Oh my god, what were you thinking? Joey Tribbiani : All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little. Monica Geller : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Ow! Monica Geller : I'm outta here.", "summary": "Joey and Monica argue about their friends' relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you. Monica Geller : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up. Monica Geller : I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here. Chandler Bing : Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, ... boom. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ow! Chandler Bing : Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok? Janice Litman Goralnik : Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back. Chandler Bing : I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.", "summary": "Monica and Joey conspire to break up Ross and Rachel by using their combined wit and charm to win them over. Chandler accidentally hurts Janice during a heated argument, leading to a chaotic and comedic conclusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. How many of those have you had? Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't know, a million? Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la. Chandler Bing : I'm fine. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Chandler Bing : I'm not fine. Here she comes. Phoebe Buffay : Wait here. Breathe. Chandler Bing : How do you do that? Phoebe Buffay : It's like a gift. Chandler Bing : We should always always break up together.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around Chandler's struggle with having too many sexual partners and feeling uncomfortable about it, while Phoebe tries to help him cope by suggesting he go to his happy place and breathe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'd like that. Ross Geller : You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part. Rachel Green : Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now. Rachel Green : Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart. Woman : Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, you know, maybe I wasn't being clear. Uh, this is our cart. Woman : Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it. Rachel Green : Hey, hey, hey, hey, quit making up rules! Woman : Let go! Rachel Green : All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe find clean clothes for Rachel, who then realizes everything looks like pajamas. A woman takes their cart, causing a confrontation between Rachel and the woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes! Did you see that? Ross Geller : You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen. Rachel Green : I could not have done this without you. Ross Geller : Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? I'm fine, I'm fine. Rachel Green : Are you sure? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Oh, are you sure you're ok? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Does it still hurt? Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross helps Rachel with her new look and they share a moment of connection."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this. Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, how'd it go? Joey Tribbiani : Excellent. Monica Geller : We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves. Ross Geller : What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Where's Chandler? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he needed some time to grieve. Chandler Bing : I'm free! I'm free!", "summary": "Ross and Monica secretly break up a couple and keep their belongings. Joey and Phoebe bond over their shared love of matching clothes. Rachel asks where Chandler is, and Phoebe reveals that he needed time to grieve."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That oughta do it. Rachel Green : Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting! Chandler Bing : You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom... Phoebe Buffay : The exclamation point in the title scares me. Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud! Ross Geller : Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen. Joey Tribbiani : Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. Joey Tribbiani : All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang... Rachel Green : God. I feel violated. Monica Geller : Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do? Chandler Bing : Ross, ten o'clock.", "summary": "Ross tries to silence Joey during a magic show, while Monica and Rachel feel uncomfortable. Phoebe is frightened by the exclamation point in the title, and Chandler makes a comment about Joey's plays. Meanwhile, Joey tries to sell Eva on the idea of a \"dingle,\" and Monica feels like she wants to peel off her own skin."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Is it? Feels like two. Chandler Bing : No, ten o'clock. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock! Ross Geller : Oh. Hel-lo! Chandler Bing : She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men! Monica Geller : Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.' Rachel Green : Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it! Chandler Bing : Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss a woman they see at the coffee shop, with Chandler expressing admiration for her beauty while Ross seems skeptical. Monica encourages Chandler to go talk to her, but he's hesitant due to his lack of confidence in his opening line. Rachel joins the conversation and encourages Chandler to approach her, but he remains unsure."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : He could never get a woman like that in a million years. Chandler Bing : Thank you, buddy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys. Monica Geller : You could do that! Chandler Bing : Y'think? #ALL# : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very very aware of my tongue... Ross Geller : C'mon! C'mon! Chandler Bing : Here goes. Aurora : ...Yes?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss how they could never get a woman like Monica. Phoebe suggests that Chandler could be one of those guys with a beautiful woman, but he is hesitant. Monica encourages him to try."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... Chandler! Chandler is my name, and, uh... ...hi. Aurora : Yes, you said that. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. Aurora : Chandler? #ALL# : Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard! Joey Tribbiani : Whadja think? #ALL# : ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard! Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head. #ALL# : Saw your head. Saw your head. Chandler Bing : She said yes!! She said yes!! Awful play, man. Whoah. Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you.", "summary": "Chandler Bing approaches Aurora and asks her out on a date, but stumbles over his words. Joey Tribbiani interrupts and teases Chandler about his dance skills and beard. Chandler becomes embarrassed and awkwardly hands off a gift from the usher to Aurora. Aurora agrees to go out with Chandler, and he excitedly exclaims that she said yes."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What is it? Joey Tribbiani : The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me! Phoebe Buffay : Based on this play? ...Based on this play! Chandler Bing : Hey, kids. #ALL# : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line. Chandler Bing : Well, I can't believe I've been here almost seven seconds and you haven't asked me how my date went. Monica Geller : Oh, right, right. How was your date, 'Chand-lrr'? Chandler Bing : It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army... Aurora : ...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.", "summary": "The gang discovers an agency card left by Estelle Leonard Talent Agency, which Joey hopes will sign him. Phoebe questions the potential based on a play they watched, while Chandler shares his enthusiastic but unbelievable date story with Monica. Aurora joins the conversation and tells her near-death experience during an escape from Israel to the border."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it. Chandler Bing : We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less. Aurora : ...All of a sudden we realised we were in Yammon. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is? Aurora : 'We' would be me and Rick. Joey Tribbiani : Who's Rick? Chandler Bing : Who's Rick? Aurora : My husband. #ALL# : Ooooohhh. Chandler Bing : Oh, so you're divorced?", "summary": "Chandler and Aurora went on a subway ride to Brooklyn for no reason, talked until 2am, and realized they were in Yammon. Aurora mentioned that she and her husband Rick were there, but Chandler didn't know who Rick was."}
-{"dialogues": "Aurora : No. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm sorry, then you're widowed?...Hopefully? Aurora : No, I'm still married. Chandler Bing : So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?...Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket? Aurora : Don't worry. I imagine he'd be okay with you because really, he's okay with Ethan. Chandler Bing : Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan? Aurora : Mmmm... Ethan is my... boyfriend. #ALL# : What?! Chandler Bing : So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend? Aurora : I suppose mainly sexual.", "summary": "Aurora discusses her personal life with Chandler, including her married status and her relationships with her husband and her boyfriend, Ethan. Chandler expresses confusion and surprise at Aurora's situation, and the two engage in a flirtatious conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : ...Hm. Monica Geller : Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out. Chandler Bing : What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story? Monica Geller : Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this? Chandler Bing : Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy? Ross Geller : No, of course not! ...Yeah, yeah, it is. Monica Geller : What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else? Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't do it. Monica Geller : Good for you, Joey.", "summary": "Chandler starts dating a woman he met online, but Monica is skeptical and questions his judgment. Chandler defends himself by saying he gets all the benefits of the relationship without any of the responsibilities. Phoebe disagrees, and Ross also reveals that he wouldn't want to date someone else while they are in a committed relationship. Joey says he couldn't do it, while Monica expresses her disapproval."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is. Ross Geller : Well, y'know, monogamy can be a, uh, tricky concept. I mean, anthropologically speaking- Ross Geller : Fine. Fine, alright, now you'll never know. Monica Geller : We're kidding. C'mon, tell us! #ALL# : Yeah! C'mon! Ross Geller : Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey- Rachel Green : Tah-daaah! Chandler Bing : Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that. Rachel Green : Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss monogamy and relationships, while Monica and Rachel clean the apartment. Chandler makes a joke about their greeting."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, whaddya think? #ALL# : Very clean! It looks great! Terrific! Monica Geller : ...Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman. #ALL# : Uh-oh... Monica Geller : How-how did that happen? Rachel Green : I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table. Monica Geller : Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman. Chandler Bing : Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out. Monica Geller : You guys, I am not that bad!", "summary": "Rachel moves the green ottoman, causing tension among the friends. They debate its placement and ultimately decide to leave it in the new spot for now."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Monica Geller : That is so unfair! Ross Geller : Oh c'mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy! Monica Geller : Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organised. But hey, I can be a kook. Ross Geller : Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away. Monica Geller : Why not? Ross Geller : Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice. Monica Geller : I could do that. Rachel Green : Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. Monica Geller : Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe reminisce about their past living together, with Monica defending her organizational skills while Phoebe jokes about being a \"kook.\" Ross joins in, telling a story about Monica not paying a phone bill and waiting until she receives a notice. Rachel chimes in with an example of Monica's impulsive grocery shopping habit, buying laundry detergent without the easy-pour spout."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood... Monica Geller : STOP IT!! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I? Ross Geller : Monica? You're Mom. Phoebe Buffay : Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Joey Tribbiani : Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! That was my agent. My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie! #ALL# : Oh my God! Whoah! Monica Geller : Well, what's the part? Joey Tribbiani : Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy's the reason I became an actor! \"I'm out of order? Pfeeeh. You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!\" Phoebe Buffay : Seriously, what-what's the part? Joey Tribbiani : \"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!\"", "summary": "A glass is left on a coffee table without a coaster, and condensation begins to form on the wood. Monica Geller yells at someone, and the group realizes that they are all acting like their parents. Joey Tribbiani gets a job in an Al Pacino movie, and the others are impressed."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part? Joey Tribbiani : ...I'm his Rachel Green : ..You're, you're 'mah mah mah' what? Joey Tribbiani : ...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica Geller : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler Bing : Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross Geller : You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening? Monica Geller : Alright, alright, alright...", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani lands a role as Al Pacino's butt double in a movie. Chandler Bing and Ross Geller make jokes about Joey's big break, while Monica Geller and Rachel Green are excited for the opening."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer. Monica Geller : For what? Joey Tribbiani : Whaddya think? Today's the big day! Monica Geller : Oh my God. Okay, go into the bathroom, use whatever you want, just don't ever tell me what you did in there. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Chandler Bing : Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone. Monica Geller : He's in the bathroom. I don't think you wanna go in there! Chandler Bing : C'mon, we're roommates! My eyes!! My eyes!! Monica Geller : I warned you... Rachel Green : Who is being loud?", "summary": "Joey needs moisturizer for a special occasion. Monica is hesitant to let him use anything in the bathroom, fearing something embarrassing may happen. Chandler enters the bathroom and is disgusted by what he sees. Rachel joins the conversation and complains about the noise."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast. Monica Geller : Oh, you got the whole night, huh? Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. Rachel Green : Ooh, do I sense a little bit of resentment? Chandler Bing : No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? Monica Geller : Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not gonna do that. Director : ...Dammit, hire the girl! Okay, everybody ready? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity. Director : Lose the robe. Joey Tribbiani : Me?", "summary": "Chandler wants to make breakfast for Aurora and remembers a key moment in their relationship. Monica helps him with the door. The old Monica would remind Chandler to scrub a Teflon pan with a plastic brush, but the new Monica doesn't do that. Joey thanks the director for the opportunity and is asked to lose his robe."}
-{"dialogues": "Director : That would work. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Okay. Losing the robe. And the robe is lost. Director : Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working .. and... action. Director : And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm- I'm showering. Director : No, that was clenching. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, y'know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing... I think his butt would be angry here. Director : I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that? Joey Tribbiani : I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask... Chandler Bing : God, I love these fingers...", "summary": "The plot centers around a director attempting to capture a dramatic shot of an actor's butt during a scene, but various distractions and mishaps occur."}
-{"dialogues": "Aurora : Thank you. Chandler Bing : No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are. Aurora : Oh my God, I'm late. Chandler Bing : Oh no nonononononnononono, don't go.. Aurora : Okay. Chandler Bing : Don't go. Aurora : Okay. Oh no, I have to. Chandler Bing : Too bad, she's leaving. Aurora : I'm sorry. He'll be waiting for me. Chandler Bing : Well, I thought- I thought you talked to Rick.", "summary": "Aurora thanks Chandler and shows him her happy fingers. Chandler tries to stop Aurora from leaving but she insists."}
-{"dialogues": "Aurora : It's not Rick. Chandler Bing : What, Ethan? He got to spend the whole day with you! Aurora : No, it's-it's Andrew. Chandler Bing : I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is? Aurora : He's... new. Chandler Bing : Oh, so what you're saying is you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself? Aurora : No, that's not exactly what I was.. Chandler Bing : Well, y'know, most women would kill for three guys like us. Aurora : So what do you want? Chandler Bing : You.", "summary": "Aurora reveals that she is no longer with Rick and is now with a new man named Andrew. Chandler is surprised and tries to make a move on her, but Aurora makes it clear that she is not interested."}
-{"dialogues": "Aurora : You have me! Chandler Bing : Nono, just you. Aurora : Whaddyou mean? Chandler Bing : Lose the other guys. Aurora : ...Like, ...all of them? Chandler Bing : C'mon, we're great together, why not? Aurora : Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too. Chandler Bing : ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!' Aurora : So... which one of the two guys will you listen to? Chandler Bing : I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...", "summary": "Aurora and Chandler discuss their feelings towards each other, with Chandler struggling to reconcile his desire for intimacy and connection with Aurora with his own internal conflicts and fears."}
-{"dialogues": "Aurora : Which one? Chandler Bing : ...The second guy. Aurora : Well, call me if you change your mind. Chandler Bing : Sorry, the first guy runs the lips. Ross Geller : Look at it this way: you dumped her. Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy, and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again? #ALL# : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, waitwait, aren't you the guy that plays the butt in the new Al Pacino movie? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Ross Geller : No? What happened, big guy? Chandler Bing : \"Big guy?\"", "summary": "The second guy was chosen over the first guy for a date with Aurora despite the first guy running his lips. Ross is confused as to why Chandler would dump an unattainable woman and instead chooses to focus on the fact that he (Ross) is the one who got dumped. Monica interrupts to ask about Joey's new movie role, but Joey corrects her and informs her that he is not in the Al Pacino movie. Chandler responds to Ross's comment about being the \"big guy\" by using a sarcastic tone."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It felt like a 'big guy' moment. Joey Tribbiani : I got fired. #ALL# : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and... Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell. Joey Tribbiani : My mom will. Chandler Bing : Something so sweet and...disturbing about that. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it! Monica Geller : Maybe this wasn't your shot. Ross Geller : Yeah, I mean... I think when it's your shot, y'know, you-you know it's your shot. Did it... feel like your shot..?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani got fired from a play because he acted too much in it, and now everyone will go to see the play expecting to see him but his mom will recognize him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hard to tell, I was naked. Phoebe Buffay : No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? That's so nice! Monica Geller : I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys. #ALL# : Night. Rachel Green : Uh, Mon, you-you gonna leave your shoes out here? Monica Geller : Uh-huh! Rachel Green : Really? Just casually strewn about in that reckless haphazard manner? Monica Geller : Doesn't matter, I'll get 'em tomorrow. Or not. Whenever. Ross Geller : She is a kook.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is struggling to find success in his acting career, while Phoebe Buffay believes he has a bright future ahead of him. Monica Geller tries to leave her shoes outside, but Rachel Green is concerned about their placement. Meanwhile, Ross Geller calls Phoebe a \"kook.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! Rachel Green : Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. OK, thank you very much. Chandler Bing : Oh, great. This is just... Rachel Green : Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out! Monica Geller : Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on. Rachel Green : Wow, you guys, this is big. Monica Geller : Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. Phoebe Buffay : Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. What's my number? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I never call me.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are at Central Perk when Phoebe performs a song about realizing what life is all about. Chandler is unimpressed. The power in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens goes out, causing confusion and frustration. Monica jokes about meeting eligible looters during the blackout, while Phoebe tries to borrow the phone to check on her grandmother."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre. Jill Goodacre : Hi Mom, it's Jill. Chandler Bing : She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot! Jill Goodacre : Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule. Chandler Bing : Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule. Jill Goodacre : I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy. Chandler Bing : Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy. Joey Tribbiani : Hi everyone. Ross Geller : And officiating at tonight's blackout, is Rabbi Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.", "summary": "Jill Goodacre gets stuck in an ATM vestibule with Chandler Bing. They initially mistake each other for being in a different location, but eventually confirm that they are indeed trapped together. Jill is fine, while Chandler is more concerned with trying to impress her. Joey Tribbiani later joins them in the vestibule, causing further confusion as he mistakenly assumes that Chandler's old roommate was Jewish and brings candles for a Chanukah celebration."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles. Rachel Green : That had to hurt! Chandler Bing : Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile! Chandler Bing : There you go! Chandler Bing : You're definitely scaring here. Jill Goodacre : Would you like to call somebody? Chandler Bing : Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. Monica Geller : Hello? Chandler Bing : Hey, it's me. Monica Geller : It's Chandler! Are you OK?", "summary": "Eww, Ugly Naked Guy lit candles. Rachel hurts. Chandler makes contact and smiles. Jill suggests calling someone. Chandler calls 300 high school friends. Monica answers and asks if Chandler is OK."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm fine. I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth Jll Gdcr! Monica Geller : I have no idea what you just said. Chandler Bing : Put Joey on the phone. Joey Tribbiani : What's up man? Chandler Bing : I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth JLL GDCR. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Chandler, listen. Chandler Bing : Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind. Rachel Green : Alright, somebody.", "summary": "Chandler gets trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : OK, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table. #ALL# : Whoooaa! Ross Geller : That's my sister. Joey Tribbiani : OK... my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York CIty public library. Monica Geller : Oh my God! What were you doing in a library? Ross Geller : Pheebs, what about you? Phoebe Buffay : Oh... Milwaukee. Rachel Green : Um... Ross? Ross Geller : Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.' #ALL# : No way!", "summary": "Monica and Ross's sibling rivalry heats up when they reminisce about their wildest sexual experiences. Joey reveals his strange encounter in the women's restroom of a library, while Phoebe recounts her adventure in Milwaukee. Rachel interjects with a shocking revelation about Ross's past, causing them all to burst into laughter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Rachel. Rachel Green : Oh come on, I already went. Monica Geller : You did not go! #ALL# : Come on. Rachel Green : Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be... ... oh, the foot of the bed. Ross Geller : Step back. Joey Tribbiani : We have a winner! Rachel Green : I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park. Ross Geller : Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.", "summary": "Ross and Carol fix a broken ride at the Magic Kingdom, but are asked never to return afterward."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : There, well, see? Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course. Ross Geller : Come on. Rachel Green : No, he said we were holding up the people behind us. Ross Geller : And you didn't marry him because...? Rachel Green : I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of... Ross Geller : Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated. Rachel Green : Yeah right. Ross Geller : It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff. Rachel Green : OK. Ross Geller : But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross discuss their past relationships and how they feel about passion in romantic relationships."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You don't. Ross Geller : Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Mmmm. Rachel Green : You do? Ross Geller : I do. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, you're so great. Joey Tribbiani : It's never gonna happen. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : You and Rachel.", "summary": "Ross sees a future with passion for Rachel, while Joey thinks it will never happen."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Why not? Joey Tribbiani : Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone. Ross Geller : No, no, no. I'm not in the zone. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, you're mayor of the zone. Ross Geller : I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to... Joey Tribbiani : Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever. Ross Geller : I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. What? What, now? Joey Tribbiani : Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' Ross Geller : Shhhh! Rachel Green : What are you shushing?", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Joey that he's not in the friend zone, but Joey thinks otherwise. Joey tells Ross to ask Rachel out soon or he'll be stuck in the friend zone forever. Despite feeling nervous and unsure of the right moment, Ross ultimately decides to go up to Rachel and confess his feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. Don't you hear that? Rachel Green : Ahhhh! Ross Geller : See? Rachel Green : Huh. Jill Goodacre : Would you like some gum? Chandler Bing : Um, is it sugarless? Jill Goodacre : Sorry, it's not. Chandler Bing : Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it. Phoebe Buffay : New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... Ross Geller : OK, here goes.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel try to listen to something, but they can't hear it because of a noise. Jill offers Chandler gum, but he declines. Phoebe sings about how she stays away from dairy products due to their sour milk. Ross tries to explain something, but his effort is unsuccessful."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Are you going to do it? Ross Geller : I'm going to do it. Joey Tribbiani : Do you want any help? Ross Geller : You come out there, you're a dead man. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck, man. Ross Geller : Thanks. OK. Joey Tribbiani : OK. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, where are you going? Monica Geller : Outside. Joey Tribbiani : You can't go out there.", "summary": "Ross decides to do something risky and asks for Joey's help, but Joey warns him that he will be in danger if he goes through with it. Monica tries to stop Ross from going outside."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : Because of... the reason. Monica Geller : And that would be? Joey Tribbiani : I, um, can't tell you. Monica Geller : Joey, what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you. Monica Geller : About what? Joey Tribbiani : He's planning your birthday party. Monica Geller : Oh my God! I love him! Joey Tribbiani : You'd better act surprised.", "summary": "Monica and Joey have a conversation about a surprise birthday party for Monica. Joey reveals that he can't tell her something important about the party, and asks her to promise not to tell Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : About what? Monica Geller : My surprise party! Phoebe Buffay : What surprise party? Monica Geller : Oh stop it. Joey already told me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, he didn't tell me. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross's thing. Phoebe Buffay : This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything. Monica Geller : No, you are not. We tell you stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. Looks like I was second to last. Rachel Green : Hmmm... this is so nice.", "summary": "Monica plans a surprise party for Ross, but Phoebe finds out and is upset that she wasn't included in the planning process."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment. Rachel Green : OK. Ross Geller : OK. Here goes. For a while now, I've been wanting to, um.... Rachel Green : Ohhh!!!! Ross Geller : Yes, yes, that's right... Rachel Green : Oh, look at the little cat! Ross Geller : What? Ow! Joey Tribbiani : I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since... Monica Geller : This is just Bactine. It won't hurt. Joey Tribbiani : Sorry, that was wax.", "summary": "Ross wants to confess something to Rachel but hesitates and instead talks about a cat. Meanwhile, Joey is on top of the world and Monica tries to help him by applying Bactine (which won't hurt)."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner. Ross Geller : Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall? Rachel Green : During a blackout? He'd get trampled! Ross Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right? Rachel Green : Oh. Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner. Mr. Heckles : Er, yeah, it's mine. Phoebe Buffay : He seems to hate you. Are you sure? Mr. Heckles : Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.", "summary": "Poor little Tooty is scared and lost, while its owner Mr. Heckles hates all living things. Phoebe and Rachel try to find the owner, but Ross suggests putting the cat in the hall during a blackout. Chandler thinks gum would be perfect for the situation, much to everyone's confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute. What's his name? Mr. Heckles : Ehhhh... B-Buttons. Rachel Green : Bob Buttons? Mr. Heckles : Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh! You are a very bad man! Mr. Heckles : You owe me a cat. Rachel Green : Here, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty. Where did you go, little kitty-kitty-kitty? Here kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty... Paolo :  Rachel Green : Wow. Ross Geller : Lucky sixes....", "summary": "Rachel finds a lost cat and tries to reunite it with its owner, while Phoebe and Mr. Heckles have a disagreement over a man named Bob Buttons."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica. Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : And Joey.... Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : And Ross. Monica Geller : Hi! Paolo :  Rachel Green : He doesn't speak much English. Paolo : Monopoly! Rachel Green : Look at that!", "summary": "Rachel introduces her friend Monica to a new person named Paolo, who speaks little English. The group plays Monopoly together and Paolo exclaims \"Monopoly!\""}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So, um... where did Paolo come from? Rachel Green : Oh... Italy, I think. Ross Geller : No, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives. Rachel Green : Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat! Ross Geller : That, that is funny... .... and Rachel keeps touching him. Phoebe Buffay : Alright. I looked all over the building and I couldn't find the kitty anywhere. Rachel Green : Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat. Phoebe Buffay : Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo. Rachel Green : Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe. Paolo : ", "summary": "Paolo appears suddenly in the building and Rachel finds his cat."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You betcha! Chandler Bing : Ah, let's see. What next? Blow a bubble. A bubble's good. It's got a... boyish charm, it's impish. Here we go. Chandler Bing : Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. Chandler Bing : Good save! We're back on track, and I'm... ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking. Jill Goodacre : Are you alright? Jill Goodacre : My God, you're choking! That better? Chandler Bing : Yes... thank you. That was... that was.... Jill Goodacre : Perfection? Paolo :  Ross Geller : Blah blah blah, blah blah blah... blah blaaaaaah....", "summary": "Chandler Bing blows a bubble, which has a \"boyish charm\" and \"impish\" qualities. He tries to put it in his mouth but accidentally chokes on it. Jill Goodacre checks if he's okay, and Chandler reveals that he's chewing someone else's gum. In a panic, he tries to cough it out, but Jill helps him by performing the Heimlich maneuver."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wha-What did he say that was so funny? Rachel Green : I have absolutely no idea. Ross Geller : That's... that's classic. Rachel Green : Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me! Monica Geller : If you want, I'll do it. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. But I won't. Rachel Green : God, the first time he smiled at me... those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry. Phoebe Buffay : You know, did you ride mopeds? 'Cause I've heard... ... oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK. Rachel Green : Y'know, I know it's totally superficial and we have absolutely nothing in common, and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd.... Ross Geller : Paolo. Hi.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at a party and Ross makes a funny comment that neither of them understand. Monica offers to do it, Phoebe wants to bite his lip, and Rachel finds herself feeling drawn to him despite their differences."}
-{"dialogues": "Paolo : Ross! Ross Geller : Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I... we're kind of a thing. Paolo : Thing? Ross Geller : Thing, yes. Thing. Paolo : Ah, you... have the sex? Ross Geller : No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um... Paolo : Bed? Ross Geller : No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad. Paolo : Oh! Ross Geller : Yeah! Se vice?", "summary": "Ross and Paolo have a conversation about Rachel and Ross's relationship. They are trying to navigate their feelings for each other, but Paolo is worried that Ross will get in the way of their \"thing.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Paolo : Si. Ross Geller : So you do know a little English. Paolo : Poco... a leetle. Ross Geller : Do you know the word crapweasel? Paolo : No. Ross Geller : That's funny, because you know, you are a huge crapweasel! Jill Goodacre : Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy. Chandler Bing : OK. Jill Goodacre : Ready? Jill Goodacre : No, you've got to whip it.", "summary": "Ross insults Paolo in English, and Paolo responds with a small amount of knowledge. Ross uses an unusual word, \"crapweasel,\" which Paolo doesn't know. Later, Chandler joins the conversation and Jill demonstrates how to whip it, possibly referring to a dance move."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7... ... negative 46, negative 47, negative 48.... Ross Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Ross Geller : Kinda... spooky without any lights. Joey Tribbiani : Bwah-hah-hah! Ross Geller : OK, guys, guys? I have the definitive one. Mwwwooooo-hah-hah... Ross Geller : Oh.. oh... oh. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica. Jill Goodacre : Well, this has been fun. Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life.", "summary": "Monica's birthday party is approaching, but Ross wants to throw a surprise party for her. However, Joey reminds him that he needs to plan something special for his girlfriend. Meanwhile, Chandler thanks Jill for using her phone and saving his life."}
-{"dialogues": "Jill Goodacre : Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. See ya. Chandler Bing : Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape. Chandler Bing : Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this? Shelley : Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you. Chandler Bing : Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'... Shelley : Do you want a date Saturday? Chandler Bing : Yes please. Shelley : Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's- Chandler Bing : He's a he? Shelley : Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now... Okay, goodbye...", "summary": "Chandler Bing has a blackout and meets someone new, but is hesitant to start dating due to past relationships being unsuccessful. Shelley tries to set him up with someone, but Chandler is unsure if he wants to date."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that? Rachel Green : Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be... Chandler Bing : You did? Rachel Green : Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not. Chandler Bing : Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me? Monica Geller : I did. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I think so, yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Not me. Ross Geller : Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did. Chandler Bing : You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?", "summary": "Chandler and Rachel discuss their initial impressions of each other, with Chandler revealing that Rachel thought he might be interested in her when they first met. Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Ross share their own experiences with Chandler, with some of them having similar thoughts about him. Finally, Chandler is surprised to learn that Susan, someone from college, had a crush on him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so... Chandler Bing : Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me? Phoebe Buffay : I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny... Chandler Bing : Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him? #ALL# : Yeah! Right! Chandler Bing : WHAT IS IT?! Monica Geller : Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality. #ALL# : Yes. Absolutely. A quality. Chandler Bing : Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this. Monica Geller : Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler both have feelings for Rachel, but they are unable to express them due to a misunderstanding. Meanwhile, Phoebe finds Chandler attractive and Monica is unsure of what it is about him that makes him special."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God! Calling from Rome! Bon giorno, caro mio. Ross Geller : So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome. Rachel Green : Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. I'm talking to Rome. Monica Geller : Hey dad, what's up? Oh God. Ross, it's Nana. Ross Geller : So, uh, how's she doing? Aunt Lillian : The doctor says it's a matter of hours. Monica Geller : How-how are you, Mom? Judy Geller : Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair? Monica Geller : What? Judy Geller : What's different?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel talk about Ross's desire to visit Rome, while Monica receives a call from her father who is near death."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Nothing. Judy Geller : Oh, maybe that's it. Monica Geller : She is unbelievable, our mother is... Ross Geller : Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover. Monica Geller : Oh God! Monica Geller : The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse. Ross Geller : Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants. Ross Geller : Not just restaurants, from our house. Nurse Sizemore : Mrs. Geller? Ross Geller : She looks so small.", "summary": "Mother is unbelievable.\nRoss and Monica discuss their mother's gross habits, including stealing mints from restaurants and being small."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know. Ross Geller : Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now. Monica Geller : G'bye, Nana. Ross Geller : Bye, Nana. Monica Geller : Ross! Judy Geller : What is going on?! Ross Geller : Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite.. Judy Geller : What? Ross Geller : She's not- past, she's present, she's back. Aunt Lillian : What's going on?", "summary": "Nana has passed away, but then returns as she was not \"past\" yet."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : She may have died. Aunt Lillian : She may have died? Ross Geller : We're looking into it. Ross Geller : I, uh, I'll go see. Nurse Sizemore : This almost never happens! Ross Geller : Now she's passed. Chandler Bing : I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair? Rachel Green : Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you have homosexual hair. Rachel Green : So, um, did she...", "summary": "Aunt Lillian may have died, and Ross is looking into it. He finds out that she has passed away."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Twice. Joey Tribbiani : Twice? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that sucks! Joey Tribbiani : You guys okay? Ross Geller : I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh... Phoebe Buffay : Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone. Ross Geller : Nono, she's gone. Monica Geller : We checked. A lot. Phoebe Buffay : Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her. Rachel Green : Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this?", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss their feelings about a woman who has passed away, while Phoebe shares experiences of her own grief and the feeling of losing loved ones."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Rachel Green : Sure. I just sharpened her this morning. Joey Tribbiani : Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! ...So Chandler looks gay, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie. Ross Geller : I thought it was gonna be a closed casket. Judy Geller : Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice! Judy Geller : Sweetie, you think you can get in there? Ross Geller : I don't see why not. Ross Geller : Here's my retainer! Ross Geller : I was just thinking. When my time comes-", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses death and funerals after Rachel sharpened someone's nails. Joey does not believe in an afterlife, while Chandler thinks he looks gay. Phoebe is unsure who the person in question is, while Ross contemplates his own mortality and wonders if he can fit in the casket."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Dad! Ross Geller : Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea. Monica Geller : You what? Ross Geller : I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun. Monica Geller : Define fun. Ross Geller : C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch... Monica Geller : ...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun. Ross Geller : Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'. Monica Geller : That's probably what they'll say. Ross Geller : I'd like that.", "summary": "Ross wants to be buried at sea after he dies, much to Monica's dismay. They have a conversation about it and Ross tries to convince her that it would be fun. Monica is not convinced and thinks it's strange."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, gorgeous. Shelley : Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um- Chandler Bing : No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake. Shelley : Oh! Okay! Phew! Chandler Bing : So, uh... what do you think it is about me? Shelley : I dunno, uh... you just have a-a... Chandler Bing : ...Quality, right, great. Shelley : Y'know, it's a shame, because you and Lowell would've made a great couple. Chandler Bing : Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with? Shelley : What? He's cute!", "summary": "Chandler and Shelley have a conversation about their previous interactions. Chandler apologizes for something that happened earlier in the day, and Shelley expresses relief that it was not anything serious. They then discuss their impressions of each other, with Shelley complimenting Chandler's \"quality.\" Finally, Shelley mentions that she believes Chandler and another person, Lowell from Financial Services, would have made a good couple."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, yeah... 's'no Brian in Payroll. Shelley : Is Brian...? Chandler Bing : No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him. Shelley : Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league. Chandler Bing : Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not. Ross Geller : This one? Aunt Lillian : No. Ross Geller : I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy. Aunt Lillian : You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one. Judy Geller : You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.", "summary": "Bing wants to be set up with someone like Brian, but Shelley thinks he's out of Bing's league. Ross and Judy are trying to pick an outfit for Aunt Lillian's funeral, but she will inevitably disapprove of their choice."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. Aunt Lillian : Wait! We need shoes! Ross Geller : Okay. Um, how about these? Judy Geller : That's really a day shoe. Ross Geller : And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier? Aunt Lillian : Could we see something in a slimmer heel? Ross Geller : Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work. Aunt Lillian : No, it really should be burgundy. Judy Geller : Mm. Unless we go with a different dress? Ross Geller : No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back.", "summary": "Ross helps his aunt Lillian pick out a dress for an event, but they struggle to find one that meets her standards."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my God.. Judy Geller : Is everything all right, dear? Ross Geller : Yeah, just... just Nana stuff. Ross Geller : How we doing, you guys ready? Monica Geller : Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature? Ross Geller : Some days it's all I can think about. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings. Rachel Green : Oh, you-you mean your earrings? Phoebe Buffay : What'd I say? Rachel Green : Hm-m.", "summary": "Ross and Judy discuss \"Nana stuff,\" while Monica receives a call from her mother about her hair and worries about her ears not being her best feature. Phoebe arrives late and confuses Rachel about her earrings."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Are these the shoes? Rachel Green : Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy. Ross Geller : What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...? Joey Tribbiani : Morning. We ready to go? Chandler Bing : Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it? Monica Geller : It was a really beautiful service. Judy Geller : It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger. Joey Tribbiani : Check it out, Giants-Cowboys.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel talk about shoes sent from Italy, while Ross questions their arrival. Joey and Chandler discuss the upcoming game between the Giants and Cowboys."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You're watching a football game at a funeral? Joey Tribbiani : No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception. Chandler Bing : You are a frightening, frightening man. Rachel Green : Oh no! My new Paolo shoes! Ross Geller : Oh, I hope they're not ruined. Phoebe Buffay : God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise! Ross Geller : I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- #ALL# : God! Ross! Ross Geller : I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang attends a funeral but Joey plans to watch the pre-game football game at the reception. Chandler finds this disturbing and Rachel worries about her new shoes getting ruined. Meanwhile, Ross has a panic attack due to the funeral atmosphere and Phoebe tries to check if he's experiencing a muscle spasm."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What, what is it? Phoebe Buffay : You missed a belt loop. Ross Geller : Oh! No-n- Phoebe Buffay : Okay, it's in spasm. Judy Geller : Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. Chandler Bing : Oh, no- Andrea : Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter. Chandler Bing : Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, look who's up! How do you feel? Ross Geller : I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great.", "summary": "Ross missed a belt loop and Phoebe's stomach is in spasm. Judy offers her old golfing medication to help ease the pain. Chandler and Andrea meet for the first time and Chandler has no idea who Dorothy is. Phoebe wakes up from a nap feeling great and happy."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wow, those pills really worked, huh? Ross Geller : Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister , I love Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! That's so nice... Ross Geller : ...Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me. Andrea : You were right. Ross Geller : Rachel. Rachel Rachel. I love you the most. Rachel Green : Oh, well you know who I love the most? Ross Geller : No.", "summary": "Ross takes pills that don't work at first but then do, leading him to exclaim his love for his friends and family."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You! Ross Geller : Oh.. you don't get it! Ross Geller : Whaddya got there? Joey Tribbiani : Just a, uh... hearing disability. Ross Geller : What's the score? Joey Tribbiani : Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third. Ross Geller : Beautiful! Rachel Green : Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker? Judy Geller : Your grandmother would have hated this. Monica Geller : Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss a sports game while Rachel asks for a cracker and Judy makes a comment about the funeral of their grandmother."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'. Monica Geller : That sounds like Nana. Judy Geller : Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say? Monica Geller : ...I can imagine. Judy Geller : I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is. Monica Geller : That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her? Judy Geller : Tell her what? Monica Geller : How she drove you crazy, picking on every little detail, like your hair... for example. Judy Geller : I'm not sure I know what you're getting at. Monica Geller : Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around Judy Geller's experience growing up with a critical and demanding mother, Monica Geller. Judy recounts how her mother would pick on every little detail, including her appearance. Monica wonders if things would have been better if Judy had told her mother the truth about how she felt, rather than internalizing her criticisms."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : ...No. I think some things are better left unsaid. I think it's nicer when people just get along. Monica Geller : Huh. Judy Geller : More wine, dear? Monica Geller : Oh, I think so. Judy Geller : Those earrings look really lovely on you. Monica Geller : Thank you. They're yours. Judy Geller : Actually they were Nana's. Ross Geller : Now I'm depressed! ... Even more than I was. Rachel Green : Hey, who's this little naked guy? Ross Geller : That little naked guy would be me.", "summary": "Monica and Judy have a conversation about getting along and not saying certain things. Monica offers Judy more wine and compliments her on her earrings, which are actually Nana's. Ross enters and reveals that he is depressed after learning that the little naked guy (Rachel) is his baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Aww, look at the little thing. Ross Geller : Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Chandler Bing : Who are those people? Ross Geller : Got me. Monica Geller : Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'. Rachel Green : Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there? Monica Geller : Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25? Ross Geller : Looks like a fun gang. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked! Ross Geller : Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang visits a caf\u00e9 called Java Joe\u2019s and discusses their families. Rachel comments on how Monica resembles her grandmother, while Ross talks about his penis. Chandler questions who the people in a photograph are, and Joey shares a naked photo of Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, Lowell. Lowell : Hey, Chandler. Chandler Bing : So how's it going there in Financial Services? Lowell : It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you? Chandler Bing : Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not. Lowell : I know. That's what I told her. Chandler Bing : Really. Lowell : Yeah. Chandler Bing : So- you can tell? Lowell : Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar.", "summary": "Chandler and Lowell discuss their work in Financial Services, with Chandler revealing that he's not actually working there due to Shelley's miscommunication. They have a casual conversation with a hint of radar-like understanding between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So you don't think I have a, a quality? Lowell : Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is. Chandler Bing : He is? Lowell : Yup, and waaay out of your league. Chandler Bing : Out of my league. I could get a Brian. If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. Hey, Brian. Rachel Green : Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary? Terry : An advance? Rachel Green : It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job. Terry : Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart. You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful. Rachel Green : Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? Oh, look at that.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Lowell have a conversation about Chandler's lack of a \"quality.\" Lowell informs Chandler that his friend Brian from Payroll is out of his league, but Chandler expresses interest in getting a Brian. Rachel Green joins the conversation and asks Terry for a $100 advance in her salary to spend Thanksgiving with her family. Terry criticizes Rachel's waitressing skills and tells her she's terrible at her job."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips? Guy : Huh? Rachel Green : Ok, ok, that's fine. Fine. Hey, I'm sorry about that spill before. Only $98.50 to go. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving? Ross Geller : No, they're not. Monica Geller : Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them. Ross Geller : You're wrong. Monica Geller : I am not wrong. Ross Geller : You're wrong. Monica Geller : No, I just talked to them.", "summary": "Rachel asks Guy for an advance on her tips, but he is confused. Monica reveals that Ross and her parents are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving, but Ross insists they are not. Monica corrects Ross, saying she just talked to them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm calling Mom. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model. Chandler Bing : That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman. Phoebe Buffay : What were you modeling for? Joey Tribbiani : You know those posters for the city free clinic? Monica Geller : Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those \"healthy, healthy, healthy guys\"?", "summary": "Joey becomes a model and starts wearing makeup. Chandler makes fun of him for it, while Phoebe asks what he was modeling for. Joey reveals he's doing posters for the city free clinic."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You know, the asthma guy was really cute. Chandler Bing : Do you know which one you're gonna be? Joey Tribbiani : No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... Chandler Bing : Good luck, man. I hope you get it. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Ross Geller : Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving. Monica Geller : Ok, I'll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's. Ross Geller : Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps? Monica Geller : You know, they're not actually supposed to have... I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah.", "summary": "The gang discusses their plans for Thanksgiving, including Monica's offer to cook dinner at her place. Ross expresses frustration that they are being forced to celebrate without Chandler and Joey, who are no longer invited due to their health issues."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays. Chandler Bing : Yes, every single one of them. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar. Monica Geller : So you're free Thursday, then. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, can I come? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail? Rachel Green : Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop. Only a hundred and two dollars to go. Chandler Bing : I thought it was $98.50. Rachel Green : Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe plan Thanksgiving dinner, while Chandler continues to boycott all holidays. Rachel plans to attend despite the cost."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, I'm off to Carol's. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her? Ross Geller : Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner. Ross Geller : Hi, is uh, is Carol here? Susan Bunch : No, she's at a faculty meeting. Ross Geller : Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in. Ross Geller : Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum. Susan Bunch : What's it look like? Ross Geller : Kinda like a big face without skin. Susan Bunch : Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.", "summary": "Ross goes to Carol's house to retrieve his skull, which she borrowed for a class. However, he is unable to find it and ends up having a awkward conversation with Susan, who is familiar with the concept of a \"big face without skin.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ok. Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian. Susan Bunch : Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it. Ross Geller : Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic. Susan Bunch : Actually, I'm reading it to the baby. Ross Geller : The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy? Susan Bunch : What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there? Ross Geller : You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it? Susan Bunch : Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice. Ross Geller : Do you uh, do you talk about me? Susan Bunch : Yeah, yeah, all the time.", "summary": "Susan reads books to an unborn baby and talks to it, while Ross finds this strange and wonders if she's crazy."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Really? Susan Bunch : But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy. Ross Geller : Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say. Chandler Bing : I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, did you make your money? Rachel Green : No, not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing my family, forget shoop, shoop, shoop. Monica Geller : Rach, here's your mail. Rachel Green : Thanks, you can just put it on the table. Monica Geller : No, here's your mail.", "summary": "Ross and Susan refer to him as \"Bobo the Sperm Guy,\" while Ross wants to get some \"belly time.\" Phoebe believes the baby can hear everything and offers to demonstrate with a turkey. Chandler supports the experiment, but only if they butter Ross's head. Monica has mail for Rachel, who is not close to reaching her financial goal."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Thanks, you can just put it on the table. Monica Geller : Would you just open it? Rachel Green : Oh my god, oh, you guys are great. Monica Geller : We all chipped in. Joey Tribbiani : We did? Monica Geller : You owe me 20 bucks. Rachel Green : Thank you. Thank you so much! Monica Geller : Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns. Rachel Green : Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday? Chandler Bing : All right, I'm nine years old.", "summary": "Rachel thanks Monica for buying a gift for her and asks if she can just place it on the table. Monica refuses and opens it, revealing that they all chipped in to buy it. Joey questions this and Monica says he owes her $20. Rachel thanks them again and Chandler is revealed to be having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner of tomato soup, grilled cheese fixin's, and a family-size bag of Funyuns. Rachel is confused by Chandler's choice and he reveals that he is nine years old."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, I hate this story. Chandler Bing : We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced. Rachel Green : Oh my god. Chandler Bing : Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together. Girl : We did? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. Aramis? Aramis? Girl : Yeah, right. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business. Girl : Get out.", "summary": "Divorce is announced at Thanksgiving dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back. Girl : Really? You don't know what that means to me. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, you smell great tonight. What're you wearing? Girl : Nothing. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something? Girl : Yeah. Oh. Joey Tribbiani : What's wrong? Girl : I just remembered, I have to do something. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. What? Girl : Um, leave.", "summary": "Joey and a girl are having a conversation when he compliments her on how she smells. They exchange flirtatious banter before the girl remembers something important and leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Wait, wait, wait! Joey Tribbiani : So I guess you all saw it. Rachel Green : Saw what? Phoebe Buffay : No, we were just laughing. You know, how laughter can be infectious. Joey Tribbiani : Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD. Chandler Bing : Tonight, on a very special Blossom. Monica Geller : Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming. What? Ross Geller : I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen. Monica Geller : All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping. Ross Geller : That's closer.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Thanksgiving plans, with Joey's family thinking he has VD, while Chandler references a TV show. Monica is preparing food and tries to cheer up Ross, who is moping about his mother not being there."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I got the tickets! I got the tickets! Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop. Chandler Bing : Oh, you must stop shooping. Rachel Green : Ok, I'm gonna get my stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, will you just come in already? Chandler Bing : No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment. Phoebe Buffay : Look out, incoming pumpkin pie! Chandler Bing : Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots. Monica Geller : That's not a question. Joey Tribbiani : But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.", "summary": "Rachel gets tickets for a trip 5 hours away, but Chandler refuses to join them, claiming he prefers to keep a distance from the merriment. Joey asks Monica about tater tots, which are a tradition in his family."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots. Ross Geller : Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child. Monica Geller : Ah! Ross Geller : Ok, Mom never hit. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, all done. Monica Geller : What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions. Monica Geller : Why would we do that? Phoebe Buffay : Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died. Monica Geller : Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.", "summary": "Ross and Monica argue over how to prepare tonight's potatoes, with Ross wanting them mashed with lumps and Monica suggesting they be made into tots instead. Phoebe joins in, adding her own ideas for the dish before revealing a personal connection to the topic."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry! Chandler Bing : The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away. Joey Tribbiani : The balloon? Chandler Bing : No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me? Rachel Green : I can't, I gotta go. Chandler Bing : Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen? Phoebe Buffay : Almost never. Monica Geller : Got the keys? or Got the keys! Rachel Green : Ok. Carol Willick : Anytime you're ready.", "summary": "The group is shocked as they hear the news of an 80-foot inflatable dog escaping over the city. They decide to go to the roof to see it, with Chandler insisting that they join him. Rachel and Monica have different reactions to the situation, with Rachel expressing her desire to leave and Monica saying she has the keys ready. Phoebe adds a humorous touch by pointing out how rare the occurrence is."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ok, ok, here we go. Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but... Carol Willick : Just aim for the bump. Ross Geller : Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can't do this. Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid. Carol Willick : So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it. Ross Geller : Hello, baby. Hello, hello. Rachel Green : I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean. Monica Geller : Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here? Rachel Green : We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys. Monica Geller : No I don't.", "summary": "Ross is uncomfortable with a certain task and feels stupid doing it, while Carol encourages him to just aim for the bump. Rachel shares her fond memory of the moment Ross first saw a giant dog shadow in the park, but Phoebe finds it mean that they shot the dog down. Monica wonders when the turkey will be ready and why they are still standing there, and Rachel reminds them that she has the keys to open the door."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes, you do. When we left, you said, \"got the keys.\" Monica Geller : No I didn't. I asked, \"got the ke-eys?\" Rachel Green : No, no, no, you said, \"got the keys\". Chandler Bing : Do either of you have the keys? Monica Geller : The oven is on. Rachel Green : Oh, I gotta get my ticket! Joey Tribbiani : Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key. Monica Geller : Well then get it, get it! Joey Tribbiani : That tone will not make me go any faster. Monica Geller : Joey!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica argue over who said \"got the keys\" when they left, while Chandler and Joey try to find the missing key to Rachel's apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That one will. Ross Geller : And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore. Carol Willick : Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want. Ross Geller : Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok? Susan Bunch : Hi, how's it goin? Ross Geller : Shh! Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! Hey, uh, did you just feel that? Carol Willick : I did. Ross Geller : Does it always, uh--? Carol Willick : No, no that was the first. Susan Bunch : Keep singing! Keep singing!", "summary": "Ross picked paleontology on a dare and is now dealing with the reactions of those around him, including his pregnant girlfriend Carol."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo. Susan Bunch : I felt it! Ross Geller : Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts. Joey Tribbiani : Nope, not that one. Monica Geller : Can you go any faster with that? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math. Monica Geller : Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway? Chandler Bing : For an emergency just like this. Rachel Green : All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this right now. But I'm not. Monica Geller : I swear you said you had the keys.", "summary": "Ross becomes excited when he believes he will become a father and plans to buy a bagel and go to the zoo with his unborn child. Susan reveals she has already felt the baby's movements. Joey and Chandler make jokes about keys and emergencies, while Monica questions why they have so many keys. Meanwhile, Rachel is upset that her flight was cancelled due to Chandler's balloon incident."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, I didn't. I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn't have the keys. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys. Monica Geller : Why would I have the keys? Rachel Green : Aside from the fact that you said you had them? Monica Geller : But I didn't. Rachel Green : Well, you should have. Monica Geller : Why? Rachel Green : Because! Monica Geller : Why? Rachel Green : Because!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends argue over who has a set of keys."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I... Chandler Bing : Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go. Monica Geller : Well, the turkey's burnt. Potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined. Ross Geller : Here we come, walkin' down thethis doesn't smell like Mom's. Monica Geller : No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one. Rachel Green : Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice. Monica Geller : Oh, really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner? Joey Tribbiani : You call that delicious? Monica Geller : Stop it, stop it, stop it!", "summary": "Monica makes Thanksgiving dinner but everything goes wrong: she burns the turkey and ruins the potatoes. The group argues over the meal, with Monica feeling unappreciated for her efforts."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Now this feels like Thanksgiving. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal. Joey Tribbiani : I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy! Monica Geller : Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing! Phoebe Buffay : It's nice that he has someone. Chandler Bing : Shall I carve? Rachel Green : By all means. Chandler Bing : Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?", "summary": "Ugly Naked Guy is having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese. Monica Geller : Does anybody wanna split this with me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I will. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, you guys have to make a wish. Monica Geller : Make a wish? Phoebe Buffay : Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for? Joey Tribbiani : The bigger half. Chandler Bing : I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked. #ALL# : That's so sweet. Ross Geller : And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are hosting Thanksgiving dinner, but things quickly go awry when Chandler makes a toast about how thankful he is that everyone's holidays were disastrous. The group shares their own terrible Thanksgiving experiences, leading to a series of comedic moments."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And a crappy New Year. Chandler Bing : Here, here! Chandler Bing : Bladder Control Problem Stop Wife Beating Hemorrhoids? Winner of 3 Tony Awards... Chandler Bing : He's finally happy with that and walks away. Ross Geller : Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet. #ALL# : Oooh! Monica Geller : W-wait. What is that? Ross Geller : 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi? Monica Geller : No, no, I don't. Rachel Green : Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?", "summary": "Ross introduces a new person named Marcel, but Monica and Rachel are hesitant to meet him. Chandler makes jokes about bladder control problems and hemorrhoids, while Ross tries to make conversation with Marcel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab. Phoebe Buffay : That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel? Chandler Bing : Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass! Monica Geller : Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment? Ross Geller : Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so... Monica Geller : Why don't you just get a roommate? Ross Geller : Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'. Phoebe Buffay : So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman. Chandler Bing : Might wanna open with the snowman. #ALL# : Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy.", "summary": "Ross rescued a monkey from a lab, but Phoebe thinks it's cruel to name the monkey Bethel. Chandler makes a joke about the monkey having a \"Ross\" on its back. Monica suggests Ross get a roommate to fill the empty space in his apartment after Carol left, but Ross says he doesn't want one. Phoebe performs stand-up comedy about her mother's suicide and a snowman."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So, how'd it go? Joey Tribbiani : Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job. Ross Geller : How could you not get it? You were Santa last year. Joey Tribbiani : I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political. Monica Geller : So what are you gonna be? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know? Rachel Green : Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's? Chandler Bing : Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud! Rachel Green : Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you wish!", "summary": "Joey didn't get a job as Santa, and he's upset because the store manager is sleeping with another man who isn't jolly or festive. He'll be one of Santa's helpers instead. The group discusses their plans for New Year's Eve, including Rachel's date with Paolo who will be in Rome."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner. #ALL# : Yeah, okay. Alright. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm. #ALL# : Woooo! Yeah! Rachel Green : Phoebe, you're on. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh, good. Rachel Green : Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh! Phoebe Buffay : Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. Phoebe Buffay : I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? La lalala la la la la lalala la la... Phoebe Buffay : ", "summary": "Chandler Bing wants to break the tradition of going on dates for Dick Clark's holiday, and instead invites just the six of them to dinner. Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay are enthusiastic about the idea, but Chandler receives a lackluster response. Phoebe starts her performance with a song that has significance during this time of year, but quickly becomes distracted by a memory from her past."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : ...My mother's ashes Even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jar, And sometimes when it's breezy... Phoebe Buffay :  Phoebe Buffay : ...I feel a little sneezy And now I- Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group? Max : No. No, that's- that's okay. Phoebe Buffay : Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear! Chandler Bing : That guy's going home with a note! David : Noth- I was- I was just saying to my- Phoebe Buffay : Could you speak up please? David : Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought", "summary": "Phoebe has her mother's ashes and eyelashes in a small yellow jar and sometimes feels sneezy when it's breezy. Chandler and David discuss Phoebe's beauty with David revealing he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life before Phoebe said something."}
-{"dialogues": "Max : Daryl Hannah. David : Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a Max : Hard quality. David : -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we're gonna take a short break. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note! Ross Geller : Come here, Marcel. Sit here. Rachel Green : Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much? Ross Geller : Just a smidge. Phoebe Buffay : David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.", "summary": "David admires Daryl Hannah's beauty in Splash but not in Wall Street, finding her to have a \"hard quality.\" Phoebe interrupts their conversation and they take a break. David is compared to a scientist by Ross, who notes that he is methodical."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I think it's romantic. Phoebe Buffay : Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman? Rachel Green : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions... Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, could I just? Chandler Bing : Yeah, 'cause I already asked Janice. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact! Chandler Bing : I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe find a guy they both find romantic after seeing \"An Officer and a Gentleman.\" They want to spend time with him. Chandler tries to break their pact by asking Janice to New Year's Eve instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history! Chandler Bing : I'm not saying it was a good idea, I'm saying I snapped! Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late. Chandler Bing : Too many jokes... must mock Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Nice shoes, huh? Chandler Bing : Aah, y'killing me! Monica Geller : Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again! Ross Geller : Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right? Monica Geller : Do you always have to bring him here? Ross Geller : I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...", "summary": "Janice and Chandler had a bad breakup; Chandler snapped. Joey made jokes, which Ross mocked. Monica was upset about Ross playing with her spatulas. The group had their first fight of the day over Ross working late and making hurtful comments."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you. Ross Geller : Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me. Chandler Bing : Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie. David : ...But, you can't actually test this theory, because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate these conditions. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, alright, I have a question, then. David : Yuh. Phoebe Buffay : Um, were you planning on kissing me ever? David : Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. David : Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.", "summary": "David wants to kiss Phoebe but is waiting for the right moment. Chandler offers to watch over Ross while he works late and makes sure not to seem like he's doing it as a favor to Ross. David reveals that today's particle accelerators are not powerful enough to simulate the conditions needed to test his theory, and Phoebe asks if he was planning on kissing her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body. David : Rrrreally. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me. David : ...Now? Now? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, right now. David : Okay, okay, okay. Y'know what, this was just really expensive. And I'll take- this was a gift. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now you're just kinda tidying. David : Okay, what the hell, what the hell. You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop? Phoebe Buffay : I can hop. Ross Geller : So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?", "summary": "David is trapped in a physicist's body and Phoebe thinks he should just sweep her away. David hesitates before agreeing, but then realizes it was expensive and decides to only tidy up. Meanwhile, Ross asks Phoebe about the meaning of \"no date pact.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby. Chandler Bing : Fun Bobby? Your ex-boyfriend Fun Bobby? Monica Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You know more than one Fun Bobby? Chandler Bing : I happen to know a Fun Bob. Rachel Green : Okay, here we go... Joey Tribbiani : Ooh ooh ooh ooh, there's no room for milk! Rachel Green : There. Now there is. Ross Geller : Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, four.", "summary": "Monica wants to ask Fun Bobby out, but Chandler reveals that he also knows a Fun Bob. Meanwhile, Rachel finds a creative solution to fit four people in her apartment for their non-date evening."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Four. Rachel Green : Five. Ross Geller : Five. Rachel Green : Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do? Ross Geller : Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops? Rachel Green : Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know, this is so not what I needed right now. Monica Geller : What's the matter? Ross Geller : Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over who will be alone at a New Year's Eve party, while Joey meets a hot single mom and Monica tries to help Ross deal with his feelings towards Marcel."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night. Ross Geller : Really. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we played, we watched TV.. that juggling thing is amazing. Ross Geller : What, uh... what juggling thing? Chandler Bing : With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that. Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon... Max : Phoebe. Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi Max! Hey, do you know everybody? Max : No. Have you seen David?", "summary": "Chandler and Ross have a conversation about their night out with someone they had fun with, but they can't seem to agree on who it was. Chandler mentions something about juggling socks and a melon, which confuses Ross. Phoebe enters the scene and asks if anyone has seen David."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, no, he hasn't been around. Max : Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk. Phoebe Buffay : Minsk? Max : Minsk. It's in Russia. Phoebe Buffay : I know where Minsk is. Max : We got the grant. Three years, all expenses paid. Phoebe Buffay : So when, when do you leave? Max : January first. Phoebe Buffay : Hello? David : Hey!", "summary": "Max and Phoebe plan to travel to Minsk, Russia for a three-year grant. They discuss when they will leave, with Max confirming January 1st as their departure date."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi. David : Hi! What-what're you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so congratulations! This is so exciting! Max : It'd be even more exciting if we were going. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're not going? Oh, why? Max : Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifson and Yamaguchi and Flench, on nonononononono. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend!!' David : Thank you, Max. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : So-so you're really not going? David : I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just- you decide. Phoebe Buffay : Oh don't do that.", "summary": "Max wants to stay in New York and make out with his girlfriend instead of going to Minsk with David and work with Lifson and Yamaguchi."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Please. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no no. David : No, but I'm asking- Phoebe Buffay : Oh, but I can't do that- David : No, but I can't- Phoebe Buffay : It's your thing, and- David : -make the decision- Phoebe Buffay : Okay, um, stay. David : Stay. Phoebe Buffay : Stay.", "summary": "David wants Phoebe to do something, but she refuses and they have a conversation about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Getting so good at that! David : It was Max's stuff. Janice Litman Goralnik : I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! Chandler Bing : You remember Janice. Monica Geller : Vividly. Monica Geller : Hi. Sandy : Hi, I'm Sandy. Joey Tribbiani : Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! ...You brought your kids. Sandy : Yeah. That's okay, right? Ross Geller : Par-tay!", "summary": "Max's things are involved in a conversation about artichokes and diets, while Monica greets Sandy and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That thing is not coming in here. Ross Geller : 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home? Monica Geller : I'm guessing your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table. Ross Geller : Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened... Monica Geller : Alright. Just keep him away from me. Ross Geller : Thank you. C'mon, Marcel, whaddya say you and I do a little mingling? Alright, I'll, uh... catch up with you later. Monica Geller : Oh my gosh! Rachel, honey.. are you okay? Where-where's Paolo? Rachel Green : Rome. Jerk missed his flight. Phoebe Buffay : And then... your face is bloated? Rachel Green : No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? Are people eating my dip?", "summary": "Ross brings his new girlfriend to Monica's apartment, causing tension between the friends. Monica is not happy about it and tells Ross to keep her away. Meanwhile, Rachel gets into a strange encounter at the airport with a blonde woman who pulls her hair and tackles her."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandy : Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, that's, uh, dirty. Sandy : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, kids... Ross Geller : Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in. Janice Litman Goralnik : There you are! Haaah, you got away from me! Chandler Bing : But you found me! Janice Litman Goralnik : Here, Ross, take our picture. Smile! You're on Janice Camera! Chandler Bing : Kill me. Kill me now. Monica Geller : Hey everybody! It's Fun Bobby!", "summary": "Sandy sees Joey and undresses him mentally at a store. Joey finds this dirty, while Ross wants to spend time with Sandy. Janice shows up and takes pictures with Ross, while Chandler tries to escape. Monica joins in and greets everyone as Fun Bobby."}
-{"dialogues": "Bobby Rush : Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, so here I am! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Fun Bobby! Whoah! Who died? Bobby Rush : It's gonna be an open casket, y'know, so at least I'll- I get to see him again. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter. Chandler Bing : Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we- Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, no. Oh, no. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry you misunderstood... Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. Chandler Bing : Oh, will you give me the thing. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Max!", "summary": "Bobby Rush arrives late to a party due to his grandfather's recent death and plans to view the body at an open casket funeral. Janice Litman Goralnik exaggerates the importance of the occasion by writing \"Reunited\" in glitter, while Chandler Bing tries to clarify that he didn't intend for her to attend the party. Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay enters the scene and greets Max, another character, with a friendly hello."}
-{"dialogues": "Max : Yoko. I've decided to go to Minsk without you. David : Wow. Max : It won't be the same- but it'll still be Minsk. Happy New Year. Phoebe Buffay : Are you alright? David : Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Phoebe Buffay : You're going to Minsk. David : No, I'm... not going to Minsk. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me. David : Yes I can. Because if I go it means I have to break up with you, and I can't break up with you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.", "summary": "Max decides to go to Minsk without Yoko, causing tension in their relationship. David struggles with the decision and Phoebe tries to convince him to go."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Uh, ow. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me. David : I'll never forget you. Phoebe Buffay : And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy. Dick Clark : Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square... Joey Tribbiani : There y'go, kids. Chandler Bing : And then the peacock bit me. Please kiss me at midnight. Joey Tribbiani : You seen Sandy? Chandler Bing : Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you. Rachel Green : Vrrbddy, the bll is drrbing.", "summary": "David and Phoebe share a romantic moment, but are interrupted when David has to leave to start the new year without her. Dick Clark hosts a virtual snowstorm of confetti in Times Square. Joey finds Sandy in Monica's bedroom with Max, a scientist geek. Rachel experiences a strange vision."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : What? Rachel Green : The bll is drrbing! Dick Clark : In twenty seconds it'll be midnight... Chandler Bing : And the moment of joy is upon us. Joey Tribbiani : Looks like that no date pact thing worked out. Phoebe Buffay : Everybody looks so happy. I hate that. Monica Geller : Not everybody's happy. Hey Bobby! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I uh.. just thought I'd throw this out here. I'm no math whiz, but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. Phoebe Buffay : I dunno. I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight. Rachel Green : I can't kiss anyone.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a group of friends preparing for New Year's Eve. Chandler makes a comment about there being three girls and three guys present, while Phoebe expresses her lack of interest in kissing anyone that night. Meanwhile, Rachel reveals that she cannot kiss anyone either."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So I'm kissing everyone? Joey Tribbiani : Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother. Ross Geller : Perfect. Perfect. So now everybody's getting kissed but me. Chandler Bing : Alright, somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me, it's midnight! Somebody kiss me! Joey Tribbiani : Alrightalrightalright. There. Ross Geller : I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back. Rachel Green : ...I think that bitch cracked my tooth. Phoebe Buffay : Do you think they have yesterday's daily news? Monica Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.", "summary": "Monica and Joey kiss everyone except Ross, who is left out. Chandler wants someone to kiss him, but nobody does. Ross is struggling with the fact that his son doesn't love him back. Phoebe checks her horoscope."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God. Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression. Phoebe Buffay : Where? Ooh, come to Momma. Monica Geller : He's coming. Be cool, be cool, be cool. Guy : Nice hat. Monica Geller : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : We should do something. Whistle. Monica Geller : We are not going to whistle. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, do it. Monica Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Do it!", "summary": "Guy approaches two friends and compliments one of their hats, but they are not interested in talking to him due to potential heartbreak."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Do it do it do it! Monica Geller : Woo-woo! Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you did that! Monica Geller : Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn round and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'? Phoebe Buffay : I just wish there was something we could do. Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP! Monica Geller : Phoebe, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe nobody's tried this. Monica Geller : I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe find an unconscious man in their living room and try to figure out who he is and what happened to him. They have conflicting ideas about what to do with him, with Monica wanting to try to wake him up and Phoebe suggesting they leave him alone."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, he's a lawyer, who teaches sculpting on the side. And- he can dance! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! And, he's the kinda guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, y'know, and not saying 'Yeah, I understand' but really wondering what you look like naked. Monica Geller : I wish all guys could be like him. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Chandler Bing : Are there no conscious men in the city for you two? Monica Geller : He doesn't have anyone. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo. Rachel Green : Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! Jay Leno : Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.", "summary": "A lawyer teaches sculpting on the side and dances. He listens intently when talking with others, even imagining their nudity. Friends feel responsible for him not having anyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax. Rachel Green : No way, forget it. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, she's your mom! Chandler Bing : Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No? Rachel Green : Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.' Ross Geller : C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast. Chandler Bing : You can say that because she's not your mom. Ross Geller : Oh, please... Paolo : Bona sera.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group debates watching a movie, with Rachel expressing her love for Joey's mother's books and Chandler joking about a dead character from a film."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, hi sweetie. Ross Geller : When did Rigatoni get back from Rome? Monica Geller : Last night. Ross Geller : Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew. Phoebe Buffay : Hey hey hey! She's on! Paolo : Ah! Nora Bing! Jay Leno : ...Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about? Phoebe Buffay : Your mom was arrested? Chandler Bing : Shhh, busy beaming with pride. Nora Tyler Bing : ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...", "summary": "Ross has a dream about Rigatoni's plane exploding, but it was just a dream. Monica reveals that Rigatoni returned from Rome last night. Phoebe mentions that Nora was arrested in London, and Chandler is embarrassed to admit that he gets intimate with men occasionally."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Now why would she say that's embarrassing? #ALL# : Shhh. Nora Tyler Bing : ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken. Chandler Bing : THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!! Jay Leno : Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going? Nora Tyler Bing : Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love... #ALL# : Awww! Chandler Bing : This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone. Jay Leno : Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad... Nora Tyler Bing : Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.", "summary": "Nora Tyler Bing goes on a book tour and talks to Jay Leno about it, while Chandler Bing interrupts with inappropriate comments. Nora reveals that she will be leaving for New York tomorrow, despite hating the trip, but is excited to see her son whom she loves."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : ...And then he burst into flames. Monica Geller : Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports. Phoebe Buffay : What about Glen? He could be a Glen. Monica Geller : Nah... not-not special enough. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! How about Agamemnon? Monica Geller : Waaay too special. Nora Tyler Bing : I am famished. What do I want... Chandler Bing : Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think? Chandler Bing : Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.", "summary": "Glen cannot be a character because he is not special enough. Agamemnon is also too special. The group discusses subway fares and the deficit reduction bill in Congress. Nora is hungry and Chandler hopes it's not Kung Pow Chicken."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place. Nora Tyler Bing : Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. Well, I think we're ready for some tequila. Chandler Bing : I know I am. Nora Tyler Bing : Who's doing shots? Monica Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I'm in. Nora Tyler Bing : There y'go. Ross? Ross Geller : Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy. Rachel Green : Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda just, y'know, lost track of time. Ross Geller : ...But a man can change.", "summary": "Ross and Nora go to a dive bar, where they drink tequila shots with Chandler and Monica. Phoebe joins in on the fun, while Rachel arrives late after getting lost. Ross initially declines the offer of shots but eventually changes his mind."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Anyone want me to appraise anything? Rachel Green : Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book. Chandler Bing : Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen. Nora Tyler Bing : Yeah, any messages for room 226? Nora Tyler Bing : You okay there, slugger? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Nora Tyler Bing : What is with you tonight? Ross Geller : Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing. Nora Tyler Bing : Okay, thank you. It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.", "summary": "Mrs. Bing has been read everything she has written by Rachel Green who wants to become a writer after reading her book \"Euphoria at Midnight\". Nora Tyler Bing gives writing advice telling anyone can do it with European cities and euphemisms for male genitalia, but Chandler Bing interrupts. Later, Nora Bing has messages for room 226 and asks if Ross Geller is okay after he seems distant."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No. It's the one he's licking. Nora Tyler Bing : She's supposed to be with you. Ross Geller : You're good. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why? Ross Geller : The girl on the cover with her nipples showing? Nora Tyler Bing : No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off. Ross Geller : When? Nora Tyler Bing : He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is. Ross Geller : The guy on the cover with his nipples showing? Nora Tyler Bing : No, it's you!", "summary": "Plot: A conversation between Ross and Nora about writing and selling books, with a focus on the importance of the hero in a story."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Please. Nora Tyler Bing : No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy... Ross Geller : Right. Nora Tyler Bing : You are gonna be fine, believe me. Ross Geller : Uh-oh... Joey Tribbiani : Uhhhh.... I'll just pee in the street. Ross Geller : Hey, is Chandler here? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right? Joey Tribbiani : Right. No big deal.", "summary": "Ross and Nora have a conversation about his feelings towards her, with Ross expressing self-doubt and Nora reassuring him that he will be fine. Joey enters and overhears their conversation, and Chandler arrives later and joins in on the discussion."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : In Bizarro World!! You broke the code! Ross Geller : What code? Joey Tribbiani : You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom! Chandler Bing : What are you guys doing out here? Ross Geller : Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, you don't have your racket. Ross Geller : No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well you didn't call and leave your grip size. Chandler Bing : Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are trying to play racquetball but someone overslept and Ross doesn't have his racket."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, how could you let this happen? Ross Geller : I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's... Joey Tribbiani : You don't think my mom's sexy? Ross Geller : Well... not in the same way... Joey Tribbiani : I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children? Ross Geller : Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here... Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : What're you guys doing out here?", "summary": "Ross admits he cheated on his wife with his student and is upset when Joey defends his mother's attractiveness."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, not playing raquetball! Joey Tribbiani : He forgot to leave his grip size! Ross Geller : He didn't get the goggles! Rachel Green : Well,sounds like you two have issues. Rachel Green : Goodbye, baby. Paolo : Ciao, bela. Ross Geller : Do they wait for me to do this? Joey Tribbiani : So are you gonna tell him? Ross Geller : Why would I tell him? Joey Tribbiani : How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have issues with each other, including forgetting important details like grip size and goggles. Rachel comments on their issues, and Joey suggests telling Ross about the forgotten items. However, Ross is reluctant to tell him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh... Monica Geller : What are you guys doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap! Monica Geller : ...What did I ask? Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Monica Geller : What are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here? Monica Geller : I'm not really here. Just thought I'd drop these off...on the way.. my way... Do you come here a lot? Without me? Phoebe Buffay : No. No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nMonica and Phoebe encounter Joey at Central Perk without his jockstrap. Monica asks what they are doing there, while Phoebe thoughtlessly brings up a previous incident. The group discusses Joey's well-being after a morning mishap."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How would I know? I-I wasn't here. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?! Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Ross Geller : You're my friend. I-I had to tell you. Chandler Bing : I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom? Ross Geller : Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom. Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in- Chandler Bing : You knew about this? Joey Tribbiani : Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing.", "summary": "Ross kissed Chandler's mom after consuming too much tequila and feeling upset about Rachel and Paolo's relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I spent the entire day with you, why didn't you tell me?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened. Ross Geller : Thanks, man, big help. Chandler Bing : I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking? Ross Geller : I wasn't- I mean, I- Chandler Bing : Y'know, of all my friends, no-one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you. Ross Geller : I know- Chandler Bing : I can't believe you did this. Ross Geller : Chandler- Joey Tribbiani : Me neither, y'know what-", "summary": "Chandler Bing discovers that Ross and Joey were in his apartment while he was away, and is upset about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'm still mad at you for not telling me. Joey Tribbiani : What are you mad at me for?! Ross Geller : Chandler- Chandler Bing : You gotta let me slam the door! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! See what happens when you break the code? Ross Geller : Joey- Joey Tribbiani : Ah! Huh? Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Monica Geller : 'A Woman Undone, by Rachel Karen Green'.", "summary": "Chandler gets mad at Joey for not telling him about breaking the code, Joey denies any involvement, and Ross tries to mediate the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'd say so. And there's no 'j' in 'engorged'. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. Monica Geller : Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Going to the hospital tonight? Monica Geller : No, you? Phoebe Buffay : No, you? Monica Geller : You just asked me.", "summary": "Rachel tries to give a book a shot but is still on the first chapter, while Monica thinks Rachel's \"love stick\" can be liberated from its denim prison. Phoebe corrects Monica's spelling error and asks if either of them are going to the hospital that night."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, maybe it was a trick question. Um, Rachel can we do this now? Rachel Green : Okay. I am so hot! Joey Tribbiani : Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout. Ross Geller : I cannot believe we're having this conversation. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all. Rachel Green : Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Hi, um, 'kay. I'd like to start with a song that's about a man that I recently met, who's, um, come to be very important to me. 'Kay. Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to be awake to be my man, As long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day, There's something I have got to say... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, thank you very much, I'm gonna take a short break! Rachel Green : Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Woo!", "summary": "Phoebe meets a man and sings a song about him at Central Perk. Rachel interrupts with excitement, but Ross is not impressed. Joey shares a photo of his mother on her wedding day, and Phoebe jokes about her being a \"knockout.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What was that? Ross Geller : Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a... Chandler Bing : Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? Joey Tribbiani : Mother-Kisser... I'll shut up. Ross Geller : Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips. Chandler Bing : Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare. Ross Geller : Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something? Chandler Bing : Because it's complicated, it's complex- Hey, you kissed my mom! Ross Geller : We're rehearsing a Greek play. Chandler Bing : That's very funny. We done now?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around Chandler and Ross's ongoing conflict regarding their shared friend Phoebe, with Chandler expressing his frustration towards Ross for kissing his mother at a party."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel? Chandler Bing : That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her. Ross Geller : Okay, 'you' can't, or you can't? Okay, that's my finger. That's, that's my knee. Still doing the play. Aaah! Phoebe Buffay : Alright, whadyou do with him? Monica Geller : Oh! You're awake! Phoebe Buffay : Look at you! How, how do you feel? Coma Guy : Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay. Monica Geller : You look good! Coma Guy : I feel good! ...Who are you? Monica Geller : Oh, sorry.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue about talking to Ross's mother; Phoebe intervenes and they all share a silly moment."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm Phoebe Buffay. Monica Geller : I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you. Phoebe Buffay : Well, we both have. Coma Guy : So, the Etch-a-Sketch is from you guys? Phoebe Buffay : Well, actually it's just from me. Monica Geller : I got you the foot massager. Phoebe Buffay : You know who shaved you? That was me. Monica Geller : I read to you. Phoebe Buffay : I sang. Hah! Coma Guy : Well,... thanks.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica take turns sharing their contributions to a comatose man's care, including bringing him Etch-a-Sketches and foot massagers, reading to him, and singing for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, my pleasure. Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome. Coma Guy : So. I guess I'll see you around. Phoebe Buffay : What, that's it? Monica Geller : \"See you around?\" Coma Guy : Well, what do you want me to say? Monica Geller : Oh, I don't know. Maybe, um, \"That was nice?\" Admit something to me? \"I'll call you?\" Coma Guy : Alright, I'll call you. Phoebe Buffay : I don't think you mean that. Monica Geller : This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then- we just get nothing back! And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up, and \"See you around!\" Let's go, Phoebe.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are frustrated with a man in a coma who barely acknowledges them despite their efforts to connect with him. They conclude that he only says empty phrases without any real emotion or intention behind them."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma. Nora Tyler Bing : Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon? Chandler Bing : No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough. Nora Tyler Bing : Alright, well, be good, I love you. Chandler Bing : You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect. Nora Tyler Bing : O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid. Chandler Bing : Really stupid. Nora Tyler Bing : Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now? Chandler Bing : Yeah. No. No... Ross Geller : Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.", "summary": "Chandler and Nora have a misunderstanding about a kiss, leading to awkwardness and apologies."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything. Ross Geller : You're kidding. Joey Tribbiani : No, no. He said \"When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?\" Ross Geller : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Then she came back with \"The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?\" Ross Geller : 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say \"When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?\" Joey Tribbiani : That makes more sense. Ross Geller : So, what's going on now? Joey Tribbiani : I dunno, I've been standing here spelling it out for you! I don't hear anything. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Ross Geller : Whaddya see?", "summary": "Ross and Joey are discussing a conversation between Ross and someone else (likely Rachel). Ross told her off about various things, including the kiss. The person then replied with something surprising, such as \"The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?\" or \"When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run! Nora Tyler Bing : You okay, kiddo? Chandler Bing : Yeah, okay. Nora Tyler Bing : Alright. Chandler Bing : Nice save. Ross Geller : Mrs. Bing. Nora Tyler Bing : Mr. Geller. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : You mean that? Chandler Bing : Yeah, why not. So I told her.", "summary": "A group of people are startled when a group of small creatures walk towards them, but then realize they are just walking away. One person gets spooked and runs, while another tries to calm them down. Another person makes a comment about the creatures being \"upside-down,\" and a character named Ross says something to their partner, Nora."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah? How'd it go? Chandler Bing : Awful. Awful. Couldn'ta gone worse. Ross Geller : Well, howdya feel? Chandler Bing : Pretty good! I told her. Ross Geller : Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? But.. we don't have to go down that road. Rachel Green : Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'. Monica Geller : What's a 'niffle'? Joey Tribbiani : You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'. Rachel Green : Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist... Ross Geller : Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler have a bad experience together, but Chandler later reveals that he feels good about telling someone off. Ross suggests that maybe it was a good idea for him to kiss Chandler's mother, but they quickly move on from this topic. Rachel reads a chapter of her writing out loud and receives feedback from the group, including Monica and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it! #ALL# : Nooo! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, we're done. Monica Geller : Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, did you really read all these baby books? Ross Geller : Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. Chandler Bing : And, we're done with the yogurt. Phoebe Buffay : Sorry. Monica Geller : Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? Nice talk, Aunt Syl. You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?", "summary": "The group is at Monica's apartment for dinner, where Aunt Sylvia demands they make vegetarian lasagna despite not being asked. Monica tries to explain that she only intended to make one lasagna, but Aunt Sylvia insists on multiple dishes. Meanwhile, Joey reads baby books and Ross proudly claims he could navigate through a woman's uterus without any landmarks. Phoebe discovers a fact about placenta consumption in some cultures, while Chandler dismisses the yogurt. The conversation ends with Monica rejecting Aunt Sylvia's demand for multiple lasagnas and insulting her cooking abilities."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? This is your baby. Hi Daddy! Ross Geller : Hello! Joey Tribbiani : How come you don't live with Mommy? How come Mommy lives with that other lady? What's a lesbian? Rachel Green : Honey, you can say it, Poconos, Poconos, it's like Poc-o-nos Paolo : Ah, poke a nose, mmm Chandler Bing : Mma, Mma, Mmaah Monica Geller : So, did I hear Poconos? Rachel Green : Yes, my sister's giving us her place for the weekend. Phoebe Buffay : Woo-hoo, first weekend away together! Monica Geller : Yeah, that's a big step.", "summary": "Baby is born and Ross tries to explain it to Joey. Joey asks about Ross's mom and why she doesn't live with him. Rachel interjects and talks about lesbians. Phoebe joins in and mentions a trip. Monica adds that it's a big step for them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I know... Chandler Bing : Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal! Ross Geller : Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be... flung by now? Rachel Green : I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally... Ross Geller : ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? I could call immigration! Joey Tribbiani : I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands... Chandler Bing : Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever! Joey Tribbiani : Need a new table. Chandler Bing : You think? Carol Willick : Hey hey, come on in!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are in a relationship that has lasted longer than they intended, while Chandler is not interested in any romantic entanglements. Joey talks about babies incessantly, and Carol invites them all to sit down for dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, hello! mmwa! I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna. Carol Willick : Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat. Ross Geller : I'm pretty sure that it is... Carol Willick : So, I got the results of the amnio today. Ross Geller : Oh, tell me, tell me, is everything, uhh....? Carol Willick : Totally and completely healthy! Ross Geller : Oh, that's great, that is great! Ross Geller : Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis? Carol Willick : Uh, that's our friend Tanya. Ross Geller : Of course it's your friend Tanya.", "summary": "Ross brings lasagna and books for Monica, but Monica's friend Susan doesn't eat meat. Carol reveals that she got the results of the amnio and everything is healthy. Ross asks about when Carol met Huey Lewis, but Carol corrects him that it was actually their friend Tanya."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : Don't you want to know about the sex? Ross Geller : The sex? Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya , yaw... Carol Willick : The sex of the baby, Ross. Ross Geller : Oh, you know the sex of the baby? Oh, oh-oh-oh! Carol Willick : Do you want to know? Ross Geller : No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! Or isn't... Susan Bunch : Oh, hello Ross! Ross Geller : Susan... Susan Bunch : So, so, did you hear? Ross Geller : Yes, we did, everything's A-OK!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Ross and Carol discussing the sex of their baby. Ross is hesitant to know the sex of the baby and finds it difficult to imagine Carol and Susan together, let alone with Tanya."}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : Oh, that's so... It really is...do we know...? Carol Willick : Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be... Ross Geller : Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here! Susan Bunch : Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be? Carol Willick : Mm-hmmm Ross Geller : Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be? Carol Willick : It's a... Ross Geller : No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go. Carol Willick : Well, thanks for the books. Ross Geller : No problem, ok, mmmwa oh, mmmwa Susan...", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a surprise that was expected to happen, but no one knows what it is yet. Ross doesn't want to know and tries to avoid finding out."}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? Carol Willick : Hello? Ross Geller : Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. Chandler Bing : Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one? Joey Tribbiani : That's the rule. Chandler Bing : What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table! Joey Tribbiani : How'd you get to that? Chandler Bing : Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio Joey Tribbiani : You knew about that? Chandler Bing : Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.", "summary": "Susan and Carol debate who to call first, while Ross avoids the conversation. Chandler argues that Joey should buy a new table after accidentally ruining it with Angela during breakfast."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ok, ok, How about if we split it? Chandler Bing : What do you mean, like, buy it together? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah Chandler Bing : You think we're ready for something like that? Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Chandler Bing : Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out? Joey Tribbiani : Why, are you moving out? Chandler Bing : I'm not moving out. Joey Tribbiani : You'd tell me if you were moving out right Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...", "summary": "Two friends consider splitting a large bill, but one is hesitant due to concerns about commitment and potential move-out."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Aw, I know all about Kip! Chandler Bing : It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly. Joey Tribbiani : Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me? Chandler Bing : Aw, don't do that Phoebe's Assistant : We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, thanks. Phoebe's Assistant : Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum Paolo : Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here? Paolo : Uh, Racquela tell me you massage, eh?", "summary": "Kip ran off and got married after buying a hibachi with Chandler, who had a worse roommate experience with Joey. Phoebe's schedule was updated, and she saw Paolo, who asked for a massage from her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, Racquela's right, yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started. Paolo : Uh, I am, uh, being naked? Phoebe Buffay : Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked! Rachel Green : I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows.... Monica Geller : And Monica knows... Ross Geller : Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know! Monica Geller : Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me. Joey Tribbiani : So what's it gonna be? Ross Geller : Waitohheyhuh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discover that Phoebe is naked in the living room. Monica reveals that Carol called her to thank her for the lasagna, leading to a series of misunderstandings about who knows what. Joey tries to intervene, but things only get more confusing."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt! Joey Tribbiani : Or an uncle... Chandler Bing : Hey Phoebe! Ross Geller : Hi Pheebs! Rachel Green : Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Monica Geller : Phoebe, what's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts. Customer : Hey, can we get some cappuccino over here? Rachel Green : Oh, right, that's me!", "summary": "Monica and Joey are excited about being aunts/uncles. Chandler interrupts with a comment. Phoebe becomes upset for unknown reasons. A customer asks for cappuccino."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on. Chandler Bing : Fine. Monica Geller : Phoebe, what is it? Phoebe Buffay : All right, you know Paolo? Ross Geller : I'm familiar with his work, yes... Phoebe Buffay : Well, he made a move on me. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, store will be open tomorrow! Chandler Bing : More coffee over here, please! Monica Geller : Well, what happened? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until.", "summary": "Paolo makes a move on Phoebe at her job, causing tension among the friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ooooohh! Ross Geller : My God. Monica Geller : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, I'm sure. And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. Monica Geller : Was it...? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there. Guys : Oooooo.... Rachel Green : \"Ooo,\" what? Phoebe Buffay : Uma Thurman. Monica Geller : Oh!", "summary": "Ross's hands were not the problem anymore after a unexpected event occurred."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : The actress! Ross Geller : Thanks Rach. Chandler Bing : So what are you gonna do? Ross Geller : You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, you have to tell her. Joey Tribbiani : Feminist issue. That's where I went! Phoebe Buffay : She is gonna hate me. Ross Geller : Yeah, well... Joey Tribbiani : Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? Chandler Bing : That's patio furniture!", "summary": "Ross convinces Chandler to tell the actress he has a crush on her, despite Rachel's objections."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So what, like people are gonna come in and think, \"Uh-oh, I'm outside again?\" Of course! Chandler Bing : What about the birds? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, birds just don't say, \"Hello, sit here, eat something.\" Chandler Bing : You pick one. Joey Tribbiani : All right, how about the ladybugs? Chandler Bing : Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining! Joey Tribbiani : Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds! Chandler Bing : Not like that, I won't! Kip would have liked the birds! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi Pheebs!", "summary": "People are concerned about birds and insects in a park. Joey suggests ladybugs as an alternative to birds for dining. Chandler objects and wants to keep the birds. Phoebe joins the conversation and adds her thoughts."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Are you moving out? Rachel Green : No, these aren't all my suitcases. This one's Paolo's. Phoebe Buffay : Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec? Rachel Green : Well, sure...just a sec, though, 'cause Paolo's on his way over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ok, um, ok, um, Rachel Green : Oh, Pheebs, Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : Ok, um, we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. Rachel Green : Ok, thanks Pheebs Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies Rachel Green : All right, well, you're right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe have a conversation about moving out and suitcases. Phoebe reveals that her friends are the most important thing in her life, she never lies, and she makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. Rachel tries one of the cookies and agrees they are the best she's ever had."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Which proves that I never lie. Rachel Green : I guess you don't. Phoebe Buffay : Paolo made a pass at me. Chandler Bing : So, what do you think? Ross Geller : I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen. Chandler Bing : I know! Monica Geller : So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads? Joey Tribbiani : Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play! Monica Geller : Heads up Ross! Score! You suck! Phoebe Buffay : Are you okay?", "summary": "Paolo makes a pass at Phoebe, and Chandler and Ross argue over a beautiful table. Monica tries to balance plates on tiny stands while Joey suggests eating at the sink. Phoebe checks in on Rachel after she gets upset."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I need some milk. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I've got milk Here you go... Oh! Better? Rachel Green : No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all \"Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so...\" Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed! Phoebe Buffay : I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on! Rachel Green : Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened! Phoebe Buffay : I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! Phoebe Buffay : No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about? Rachel Green : I don't know...right, he's the pig! Phoebe Buffay : Such a pig! Rachel Green : Oh, God, he's such a pig,", "summary": "Rachel Green needs milk and Phoebe Buffay provides it. They reminisce about their encounter with Paolo, who hit on Phoebe. Rachel feels embarrassed and they both express regret for the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh he's like a... Rachel Green : He's like a big disgusting... Phoebe Buffay : ...like a... Rachel Green : ...pig...pig man! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, good! Ok... Rachel Green : Oh, but he was my pig man...how did I not see this? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I know! It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you... Rachel Green : Ok, Ok, Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : The end. Rachel Green : Oh, God...", "summary": "A character named \"Phoebe\" and another character named \"Rachel\" are talking about a man who is described as \"disgusting\" and \"like a pig.\" Rachel reveals that the man was her \"pig man,\" and Phoebe suggests that she didn't see it because the man is attractive and charming."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Should I not have told you? Rachel Green : No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better... Phoebe Buffay : I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so... Monica Geller : We should get over there and see if she's okay. Just one...second! Score! Game! Come on. Ross Geller : Ah...ooh! Well, looks like, uh, we kicked your butts. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team. Ross Geller : Come on, two on one. Chandler Bing : What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in! Ross Geller : What, now? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!", "summary": "Rachel finds out that her boyfriend Paolo cheated on her and breaks up with him. Her friends Monica, Ross, Joey, and Chandler try to comfort her and encourage her to move on. Meanwhile, Joey tries to use the situation to his advantage by pretending to be a supportive friend and potential replacement for Paolo."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! Paolo : No, that's cold, that's cold, that's... Ross Geller : How's it going? Monica Geller : Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, , Ok, that is either, \"How could you?\" or, \"Enormous breasts!\" Here he comes! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Paolo : Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok bye-bye. Monica Geller : Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles. Paolo : Grazie. Ross Geller : Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say...", "summary": "Rachel is upset, and her friends try to help her. Phoebe says goodbye, while Monica gives Paolo a recipe. Ross wants to confront Paolo about something he did to Rachel, but Paolo leaves before he can say anything."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just look at her... Ross Geller : Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she's not overwhelmed... Monica Geller : Oh, you're right. Ross Geller : ...and I really think it should be me. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : You all right? Rachel Green : Ooh, I've been better... Ross Geller : Come here. Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you. Rachel Green : Oh, Ross...", "summary": "Ross tries to help Phoebe by sacrificing himself, but Rachel doesn't want him and instead wants to be with someone who appreciates her more."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. Ross Geller : Huh. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, you're so great! Ross Geller : Ohhhh Monica Geller : Ooh...hey honey, are you all right? Rachel Green : Oh... Phoebe Buffay : You ok? Rachel Green : ...medium...hmm...any cookies left? Phoebe Buffay : Yep!", "summary": "Rachel is sick of guys and doesn't want to be around them. Ross tries to comfort her but Monica and Phoebe intervene."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process. Rachel Green : No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want Ross Geller : Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo. Rachel Green : No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I-I'm, I'm having a boy? Rachel Green : Uh...no. No, no, in fact, you're not having a boy. Ross Geller : Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! Huh, am I having a boy? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, you're having a boy!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss his opinion on her vow to never date again after being hurt by a guy named Paolo. Ross suggests she needs to develop a more sophisticated screening process, but Rachel insists she just needs time alone. The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Phoebe interrupts with news that Ross is actually having a baby boy."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm having a boy! Oh, I'm having a boy! Chandler Bing : Wha- Joey Tribbiani : Wha- Chandler Bing : What is it? Ross Geller : I'm having a boy! I-I'm having a boy! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Chandler Bing : We already knew that! Ross Geller : I'm having a son. Um... Monica Geller : Yes! And that would be a shut-down!", "summary": "Ross is having a boy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Shut-out!! Monica Geller : Where are you guys going? Come on, one more game! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, it's 2:30 in the morning! Chandler Bing : Yeah, get out! Monica Geller : You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, and I'm gone. Chandler Bing : One more game? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! Rachel Green : That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock Chandler Bing : I'm sorry! Rachel Green : You have no respect for anybody's privacy!", "summary": "The group is hanging out at Monica's apartment late at night when she suggests playing one more game of cards. Chandler and Joey are hesitant, but Monica convinces them to stay. Rachel enters the room and scolds them for not knocking and disrespecting her privacy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Rachel, wait, wait. Rachel Green : No, you wait! This is ridiculous! Chandler Bing : Can I just say one thing? Rachel Green : What? What?! Chandler Bing : That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas. Rachel Green : Oh!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower. Roger : That's pretty much it. Phoebe Buffay : Oops! Roger : But you tell it really well, sweetie.", "summary": "Chandler makes a comment about Rachel's legs, leading to a disagreement. Phoebe joins in with a story about one of her patients, causing confusion and laughter."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you. Roger : Okay. I'll miss you. Phoebe Buffay : Isn't he great? Rachel Green : He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know? Monica Geller : So, you think you'll do it on his couch? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know? Vinyl. Rachel Green : Okaaay. Any of you guys want anything else? Chandler Bing : Oh, yes, could I have one of those. Rachel Green : No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?", "summary": "Phoebe and Roger are talking about him, and Phoebe thinks he's great but also complicated. Monica mentions wanting to do it on his couch, which Phoebe finds weird."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. Roger : Did I, uh, did I miss something? Chandler Bing : No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies. Ross Geller : You what? Wh what were you doing seeing her boobies? Chandler Bing : It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts. Rachel Green : Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts. Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies. Rachel Green : Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.", "summary": "Chandler accidentally sees Ross's girlfriend's breasts, leading to a discussion of the incident. Meanwhile, Rachel tries to change the subject but Phoebe corrects her and adds more humor to the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okaaay, rock, hard place, me. Roger : You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops. Chandler Bing : Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that? Roger : Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance. Chandler Bing : Huh. Roger : I mean hey! I just met you, I don't know you from Adam. ...Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty. Chandler Bing : Uhhuh, how did you know that? Roger : It's textbook. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right? #ALL# : Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!", "summary": "Chandler Bing is funny, but also has intimacy issues and uses humor to keep people at a distance. Roger notices this and makes a comment. Joey Tribbiani joins the conversation and mentions his father."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, how long are you in the city? Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. I don't know this one. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is my friend Roger. Roger : Hi. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger. Roger : You too, sir. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : What happened to the, uh, puppet guy? Joey Tribbiani : Dad, dad. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny! Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late now", "summary": "Job in midtown leads Joey to stay with his son instead of commuting by ferry, meets Phoebe's friend Roger, discusses the absent puppeteer, and catches up with Ross and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? Did you know this isn't Ma? Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. So how long you been... Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships? Joey Tribbiani : Since then?! Joey Tribbiani Sr. : No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love? Joey Tribbiani : ...I d'know. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes. Joey Tribbiani : You're one to talk. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.", "summary": "Joey's father, Joey Tribbiani Sr., reveals that he has been in a relationship with two different women for the past six years. Joey is surprised and confused by this news, as he had always believed his father to be a \"terrible guy.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you. Joey Tribbiani : It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. That'd be cool.... This blows! Rachel Green : I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... Why can't you stop staring at my breasts? Chandler Bing : What? What? Rachel Green : Did you not get a good enough look the other day? Ross Geller : Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I don't see that happening? Rachel Green : C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat. Chandler Bing : Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey discovers his father is a spy and leads a double life. Rachel and Ross get into an argument about parents becoming people, and Chandler and Joey get into a debate over showing each other their private parts."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : It's Phoebe. Roger : And Rog. Monica Geller : C'mon up. Chandler Bing : Oh, good. Rog is here. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter with Rog? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy. Ross Geller : What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad. Ross Geller : Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?", "summary": "Monica invites Phoebe and Roger to come upstairs, but Chandler and Joey are already there. Chandler reveals that he hates Rog, who is being overly analytical. Ross defends Rog, saying that he's not bad, but Chandler insists that he's wrong."}
-{"dialogues": "Roger : I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail. Ross Geller : Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why? Roger : I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you... Monica Geller : Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing. Roger : Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents. Ross Geller : That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures! Monica Geller : Oh! So you think I'm a failure! Phoebe Buffay : Isn't he good? Ross Geller : Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying... Monica Geller : Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!", "summary": "Ross suspects Monica of sabotaging their marriage to make her sibling feel less of a failure in their parents' eyes. Monica denies this and accuses Ross of sucking up to their parents to gain their approval. Phoebe joins in, adding that she thought Ross was on Monica's side but now realizes he may have been trying to win their parents' favor."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good! Rachel Green : You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. Roger : That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay? Roger : Geez, we're gonna be late, sweetie... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon. Monica Geller : You're welcome. Roger : Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love. Monica Geller : Hate that guy! Joey Tribbiani : Night, you guys.", "summary": "Ross married a lesbian to impress Rachel, but she was more interested in the Weebles and their cruise ship. Meanwhile, Phoebe tried to comfort Rachel and Roger got frustrated with their slow pace."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh look, it's the woman we ordered. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Can, uh, can we help you? Ronni Rapalono : Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : I'm Joey Tribbiani. Ronni Rapalono : Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip? Chandler Bing : Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know? Ronni Rapalono : Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee. Chandler Bing : Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys. Ronni Rapalono : That's a good one! Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Hey, Joe.", "summary": "A woman named Ronni arrives at Joey and Chandler's door, looking for Joey. When he reveals himself, she is surprised and excited to meet him, calling him \"big Joey\" and complimenting his looks. Joey and Chandler exchange jokes about Ronni's enthusiasm, with Chandler mentioning that he wants to be buried with his keys after he dies. Meanwhile, Joey's father arrives and joins in the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Dad, Ronni's here. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Huh? Ronni Rapalono : Hi. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here? Ronni Rapalono : Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Thank you. Uh... Chandler Bing : So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk? Ronni Rapalono : Look, I uh, I shouldn'ta come. I-I'd better get going, I don't wanna miss the last train. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : I don't want you taking that thing. Ronni Rapalono : Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?", "summary": "Ronni Rapalono visits Joey Senior and brings his good hair, which Joey needs for a meeting the next day. Chandler suggests playing Kerplunk, but Ronni quickly exits after realizing he might miss the last train. Joey doesn't want Ronni to leave without a place to stay."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Who-ah-ho. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : We'll go to a hotel. Ronni Rapalono : We'll go to a hotel. Joey Tribbiani : No you won't. Ronni Rapalono : No we won't. Joey Tribbiani : If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : You're gonna keep an eye on us? Joey Tribbiani : That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend. Ronni Rapalono : Wow. He's strict. Joey Tribbiani : Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Ronni want to go to a hotel, but Joey's father does not approve and wants to keep an eye on them. Joey Sr. makes rules for Ronni, including no sleeping with his girlfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Ronni Rapalono : Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid. Chandler Bing : C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by \"No thanks, it's late.\" Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : What kinda change? Joey Tribbiani : Well, either you break it off with Ronni Joey Tribbiani Sr. : I can't do that! Joey Tribbiani : Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right! Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Yeah, but this is Joey Tribbiani : I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room! Chandler Bing : Hey, Kicky. What're you doing?", "summary": "Ronni and Chandler invite Joey to stay overnight at their house, but Joey insists that something must change in their friendship with Ronni because it has been going on for too long. Joey's father disagrees and refuses to listen to Joey's concerns."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear. Chandler Bing : Well, you're gonna. Joey Tribbiani : I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls... Chandler Bing : Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking... Chandler Bing : Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave? Joey Tribbiani : No. Chandler Bing : No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say \"No thanks, I'm married.\" Joey Tribbiani : You really think so? Chandler Bing : Yeah. I really do.", "summary": "Joey is uncomfortable sleeping in his underwear and discusses his dating life with Chandler. Joey wonders when he will find \"the one\" and have the courage to stand up for himself. Chandler believes Joey will be able to do so when the right woman comes along, but Joey is unsure."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Get off! Ronni Rapalono : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi...May I help you? Ronni Rapalono : Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours? Monica Geller : Okay...who are you? Ronni Rapalono : Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rappelano? The mistress? Monica Geller : Oh, c'mon in. Ronni Rapalono : Thanks. Rachel Green : Hi, I'm Rachel.", "summary": "Monica allows a stranger named Ronni to use her shower after Joey and Chandler refuse. Ronni reveals she is Joey's mistress."}
-{"dialogues": "Ronni Rapalono : Hi. Rachel Green : Bathroom's up there. Ronni Rapalono : Great. Rachel Green : Hey, listen, Ronni, how long would you say Chandler's been in the shower? Ronni Rapalono : Oh, like, uh, five minutes? Rachel Green : Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. Hey, Mr. Trib. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Hey. Morning, dear. Rachel Green : Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter with you?! Rachel Green : I thought it was Chandler!", "summary": "Chandler is in the shower for five minutes, and Rachel estimates that it's time for him to finish. Joey teases Chandler about his speediness, while Ronni tries to guess how long Chandler has been in the shower."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? What? Rachel Green : You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing! Chandler Bing : Sorry, my my thing was in there with me. #ALL# : Hey, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : How's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys. Phoebe Buffay : So what's going on? Monica Geller : Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger. Ross Geller : I dunno, there's just something about...", "summary": "Roger is hosting a dinner party and invites Phoebe, who then invites the rest of the gang. However, something is wrong with Roger, causing tension among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Basically we just feel that he's... Rachel Green : We hate that guy. #ALL# : Yeah. Hate him. Ross Geller : We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out? #ALL# : ...No, we hate him. Rachel Green : We're sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Ma! What're you doing here? Gloria Tribbiani : I came to give you this and this. Joey Tribbiani : Oww! Big ring!", "summary": "The group hates a person, but Phoebe suggests that their dislike might be due to his perceptiveness."}
-{"dialogues": "Gloria Tribbiani : Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. Joey Tribbiani : Hold on, you-you knew? Gloria Tribbiani : Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. \"I'm sleeping over at my accountant's,\" I mean, what is that? Please! Joey Tribbiani : So then how could you I mean, how could you?! Gloria Tribbiani : Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby. Joey Tribbiani : Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you? Gloria Tribbiani : Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary. Joey Tribbiani : I'm...happy...for you? Gloria Tribbiani : Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way it was. Joey Tribbiani : Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.", "summary": "A father and son have a disagreement about the father's new hobby, which involves making things right. The son is confused by his mother's involvement in the situation and her desire to keep things as they were before. The mother reveals that she has been unhappy with the father's behavior for some time and that the new hobby has made him more attentive and loving towards her. However, the son is unsure of how to proceed and the conversation ends with a sense of confusion and unresolved tension between the family members."}
-{"dialogues": "Gloria Tribbiani : I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did. So tell me. Did you see her? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is. Gloria Tribbiani : That's sweet. Could I take her? Joey Tribbiani : With this ring? No contest. Roger : What's wrong, sweetie? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, nothing. Roger : Aaaah, what's wrong, c'mon. Phoebe Buffay : It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't. Roger : Oh. They don't. Phoebe Buffay : But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...", "summary": "Gloria Tribbiani suspects Joey of seeing someone else and questions him about it. Joey compliments Gloria, saying she is ten times prettier than the other woman. Phoebe Buffay enters and overhears the conversation, feeling insecure about her friends' admiration for Joey. She tries to downplay their comments, but Roger picks up on her discomfort and presses her for details."}
-{"dialogues": "Roger : What? Phoebe Buffay : Intense and creepy. Roger : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : But I don't. Me, Phoebe. Roger : Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way. Phoebe Buffay : You're not? See, that's why you're so great! Roger : Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'. Monica Geller : So you talked to your dad, huh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today. Rachel Green : Wow.", "summary": "Roger and Phoebe discuss how dysfunctional their group dynamic is, with Roger finding it typical and Phoebe feeling intense and creeped out. Monica reveals that her father will continue cheating, despite her efforts to stop him, and Joey shares that his father has gotten a restraining order against his sister Tina's husband. Rachel is shocked by the news."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain. Ross Geller : So Joey, you okay? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes. Rachel Green : Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them. Chandler Bing : If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. #ALL# : Hey, Pheebs. Monica Geller : How's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger. #ALL# : Awww.", "summary": "The group reflects on how things have changed on Walton's Mountain, with Joey Tribbiani sharing his perspective on letting go of parents and their mistakes. Rachel Green adds that they will soon experience similar changes as they age. Chandler Bing jokes about turning into his parents, potentially becoming an alcoholic blonde chasing after young men or resembling his mother. Phoebe Buffay shares that she recently broke up with Roger and is feeling down."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, right. #ALL# : Aaawwwwww!! Rachel Green : What happened? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Joey. What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. Monica Geller : Joey!! What the hell were you doing?! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry. Wrong boobies. Monica Geller : Hello, Joey. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Oh! ...Hello, dear.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Green have a conversation about a man Phoebe likes but hates. Joey Tribbiani enters and makes a mistake involving another person's boobies. Monica Geller scolds Joey, and Joey Sr. greets everyone with a cheerful \"Hello, dear.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you. Ross Geller : She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. Chandler Bing : Any contact? Ross Geller : She lent me an egg once. Joey Tribbiani : You're in! Ross Geller : Aw, right. Woman : Hi, Ross. Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third... Joey Tribbiani : Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.", "summary": "Ross Geller is hesitant to pursue a romantic interest in his building's woman, despite her clear interest in him. Joey Tribbiani encourages Ross to take a chance, but Chandler Bing advises against it. The group discusses their past relationships and personal struggles while waiting for an egg from the kitchen."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : An egg? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, \"Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg.\" Chandler Bing : I think it's winning. Ross Geller : I think it's insane. Chandler Bing : She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend. Joey Tribbiani : Think it'll work? Chandler Bing : No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg. Monica Geller : You can not do this. Rachel Green : Do what, do what? Monica Geller : Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.", "summary": "Ross considers returning an egg to a woman he likes, but Chandler thinks it's a bad idea. Joey agrees with Chandler, while Monica and Rachel are confused."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! Phoebes! Don't you remember why you dumped the guy? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day! Monica Geller : But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do. Rachel Green : Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night? Joey Tribbiani : Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, listen, about tonight... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend. Chandler Bing : Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a... Joey Tribbiani : Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this. Ross Geller : Hi. She said yes.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel argue over Phoebe's date for Valentine's Day, while Monica and Joey discuss their own plans. Chandler tries to avoid bringing a friend to his date, but Joey convinces him to take advantage of the situation. Ross, who has not been on a date since Janice, is pleased when his date agrees to go out with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes! Way to go, man! Still got the egg, huh? Joey Tribbiani : How do I look? Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, I... don't... care. Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess. Lorraine : Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice. Chandler Bing : ...And what did you bring? Lorraine : She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice. Chandler Bing : Janice? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh.... my.... God. Chandler Bing : Hey, it's Janice. Chandler Bing : Ok, I'm makin' a break for it, I'm goin' out the window.", "summary": "Joey brings a gift to a party and Chandler makes a comment about it, while Lorraine enters and greets Joey. Chandler becomes annoyed when Janice enters and he tries to escape through a window."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down. Chandler Bing : Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months! Joey Tribbiani : Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!! Rachel Green : Ok, ok, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney. Monica Geller : Which one was Pete Carney? Rachel Green : Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. \"Was it good for you?\" Monica Geller : Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-\"I-win\"-guy. \"I win! I win!\" I went out with the guy for two monthsI didn't get to win once. Rachel Green : How did we end up with these jerks? We're good people! Monica Geller : I don't know. Maybe we're some kinda magnets.", "summary": "Joey wants to go out with Lorraine but Chandler is opposed because he has previously dumped her twice in five months. Rachel and Monica discuss their past dating experiences, including a guy named Pete who cried during sex and another named Howard who constantly exclaimed \"I win!\" They lament the fact that they have ended up with such unpleasant partners despite being good people themselves."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch. Monica Geller : There's more beer, right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual. Rachel Green : Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect. Monica Geller : Ok, well, what kind of ritual? Phoebe Buffay : Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us. Rachel Green : Or? Phoebe Buffay : Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks. Monica Geller : Burning's good.", "summary": "The friends discuss a ritual to break a \"bad boyfriend cycle\" and consider burning or chanting/dancing naked as options."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Burning's good. Yeah, I got stuff to burn. Lorraine : You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes. Joey Tribbiani : Good for you. Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters? Janice Litman Goralnik : By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads. Chandler Bing : That's OK. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty. Joey Tribbiani : We can't do that. Chandler Bing : What? What can't you do? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, we might be leaving now.", "summary": "Rachel and Lorraine discuss burning things, while Joey and Janice argue about quarters and picture-cutting. Chandler is uninterested in both conversations."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Tell me it's \"you and me\" we. Joey Tribbiani : She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it. Chandler Bing : Ok, you can not do this to me. Joey Tribbiani : You're right, I'm sorry. You're right. Lorraine : Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please? Joey Tribbiani : I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I hope she throws up on you. Chandler Bing : So... Janice Litman Goralnik : Just us. Chandler Bing : Oh, what a crappy night!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Chandler have a conversation about a woman who wants to slather Joey's body with something and then lick it off. Joey is unsure of what this means but is eager to participate. Lorraine interrupts their conversation to order three chocolate mousses to go, and Joey offers to pay for dinner. Chandler makes a comment about Janice Litman Goralnik joining them, which ends the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom. Chandler Bing : Excuse me. How ya doin'? Janice Litman Goralnik : So, do we have the best friends or what? Chandler Bing : Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV? Janice Litman Goralnik : I will go for that drink. Chandler Bing : You got it. Good woman! Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne? Janice Litman Goralnik : Each. Chandler Bing : That's right, each. Oh, and a uh Rob Roy. I've always wanted to know... Janice Litman Goralnik : Happy Valentine's Day! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?", "summary": "Janice and Chandler are at a bar, where they are served drinks by an overpriced bartender. Janice compliments Chandler on his shirt sticking out of his zipper, which he corrects with embarrassment. They reminisce about their friendship and Joey, who left them his credit card. Janice orders a drink for each of them and a Rob Roy, while Chandler expresses his desire to know more about the holiday. As they celebrate Valentine's Day, Janice misses her deceased husband and reflects on the unexpected turn of events."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No... no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Kiss me! Monica Geller : Oh, Chandler, sorry. Monica Geller : Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hi, Monica. Chandler Bing : Ok, well, this was very special. Monica Geller : Rach, come see who's out here! Rachel Green : Oh my god. Janice, hi! Chandler Bing : Janice is gonna go away now. Monica Geller : I'll be right back.", "summary": "Chandler and Janice have a confrontation, leading to Janice leaving. Monica returns with Rachel, who is surprised to see Janice outside."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, look who it is. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa. Chandler Bing : Oh, good, Joey's home now. Janice Litman Goralnik : This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall. Monica Geller : Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. He just happened to call. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? Ross Geller : I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half. Kristin : That's funny. Who are they? Ross Geller : The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend. Kristin : You mean they're lovers.", "summary": "Ross meets his ex-wife and her close personal friend at the airport, leading to a discussion about dog jet lag and its implications on their relationships."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : If you wanna put a label on it. Kristin : Wow, uh, anything else I should know? Ross Geller : Nope, nope, that's it. Ross Geller : Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. Helloo! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so now we need, um sage branches and the sacramental wine. Monica Geller : All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca. Phoebe Buffay : Um, that's ok! Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man. Rachel Green : Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place. Monica Geller : Can we just start throwing things in? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, yeah, ok. Oh, OK.", "summary": "Ross and Kristin are getting married, but he forgets that she's pregnant with his baby. Phoebe joins them to help with a ritual, but they need various items including sage branches and sacramental wine. Rachel suggests starting without the necessary ingredients, and Monica agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, Barry's letters. Adam Ritter's boxer shorts. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah. Monica Geller : Look, here's a picture of Scotty Jared naked. Rachel Green : Hey he's wearing a sweater. Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Eww! Rachel Green : And here we have the last of Paulo's grappa. Monica Geller : Hey, Rachel, isn't that stuff almost pure... Chandler Bing : How can I dump this woman on Valentine's day? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.", "summary": "The group discusses various items they have received or are planning to give as gifts, including Barry's letters, Adam Ritter's boxer shorts, Phoebe's dinner receipt with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah, and Scotty Jared's naked picture. Chandler tries to figure out how to dump his Valentine's Day date, while Joey offers unhelpful advice."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, man. In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hello, funny Valentine. Chandler Bing : Hi, Just Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna! Joey Tribbiani : If you don't do it, I will. Ross Geller : So, um, what do you do for a living? Kristin : Well, um, for the past few years I've been working.. ...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major. Carol Willick : Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you. Susan Bunch : I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.", "summary": "Chandler wants to come back as a toilet brush in his next life, Janice says she could kiss Joey all over, and Ross asks Kristin about her job after revealing it's not her major. Carol will try to get back, and Ross invites Carol to join them despite being alone and pregnant."}
-{"dialogues": "Kristin : I guess. Ross Geller : Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us? Carol Willick : Oh, no no no. I'm fine. I'm fine. Ross Geller : Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin... ...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major! Fireman No. 1 : What do we got there? Fireman No. 2 : A piece of something: boxer shorts, greeting cards, and what looks like a half-charred pictureWow, that guy's hairier than the Chief! Monica Geller : You know, it's a really funny story how this happened. Fireman No. 3 : It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control. Fireman No. 1 : You're our third call tonight. Rachel Green : Really?", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Carol Willick to join them for dinner, but she declines. Meanwhile, Monica tells a story about a boyfriend bonfire that got out of control, and Fireman No. 3 comforts her."}
-{"dialogues": "Fireman No. 2 : Oh, sure, Valentine's is our busiest night of the year. Janice Litman Goralnik : I brought you something. Chandler Bing : Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. Chan and Jan Forever. Janice Litman Goralnik : I had them made special. Chandler Bing : Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out. Janice Litman Goralnik : That's fine. Chandler Bing : It is? Janice Litman Goralnik : Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end. Chandler Bing : Oh no, you see, actually it is. Janice Litman Goralnik : No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.", "summary": "Chandler and Janice have a conversation on Valentine's Day, during which they discuss their feelings for each other. Despite Chandler's reservations, Janice believes that their relationship will work out in the end."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, no I don't. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed? Chandler Bing : I did, but... Janice Litman Goralnik : You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya. Chandler Bing : Call me! Carol Willick : It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine. Ross Geller : You did so. I swear, I swear How long has she been in the bathroom? Carol Willick : Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone. Ross Geller : Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years. Carol Willick : That could be it.", "summary": "Chandler and Janice have a history of ending up together, despite their efforts to avoid each other. Chandler invites Janice into his bed on Valentine's Day, but she quickly leaves. Carol and Ross argue over a misunderstanding about Carol's mother, who is not in the bathroom as Ross believed."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, god. You know, this is still pretty hot. Carol Willick : Mushroom. Smile. They won't all be like this. Some women might even stay through dinner. Sorry, that's not funny Ross Geller : No, it's just...you know the whole \"getting on with your life\" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you. Carol Willick : Oh, I love you too. But... Ross Geller : No but, no but. Carol Willick : You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you. Ross Geller : That's easy for you to say, you found one already. Carol Willick : All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set. Carol Willick : Not her. Fireman No. 3 : We get off around midnight, why don't we pick you up then?", "summary": "Ross Geller is struggling with his feelings for a woman he met at a bar, despite being in a relationship with Carol Willick. He and Carol have a conversation about their respective love lives, with Ross expressing frustration that he can't seem to move on from his attraction to the other woman. Carol tries to reassure him that he will find someone who is right for him, but Ross remains uncertain. As they continue talking, Fireman No. 3 enters the conversation and offers to pick them up at midnight."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So, um, will you bring the truck? Fireman No. 3 : I'll even let you ring the bell. Rachel Green : Oh, my god. Phoebe Buffay : See, there you go, the cleansing works! Monica Geller : They're nice guys. Rachel Green : Oh, they're firemen guys. Fireman No. 1 : You guys tell them you were married? Fireman No. 2 : No way! Fireman No. 3 : Are you kidding? My girlfriend doesn't know, I'm not gonna tell them! Rachel Green : Coffee.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are discussing their love lives, while Monica interjects that the two firemen they just met are nice guys. The conversation takes a surprising turn when one of the firemen reveals that he and his colleague are married, much to everyone's shock and amusement."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Rachel Green : Cappuccino. Ross Geller : Grazie. Rachel Green : And a nice hot cider for Monica. Monica Geller : Aww, thank you. Uh Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Monica Geller : Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser? Rachel Green : Oh! That's why. I'm sorry! Woman : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.", "summary": "Rachel orders coffee and cider for the group, while Monica receives an unexpected eraser on her cinamon stick. Chandler compliments Mrs. Tedlock on her appearance, making a joke about the sleeve length of her dress."}
-{"dialogues": "Mrs. Tedlock : Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day. Chandler Bing : Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really. Nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know... Chandler Bing : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Never mind. But it was going to be really good. Ross Geller : What's going on? #ALL# : What is it? Chandler Bing : So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. #ALL# : That's great!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler is promoted to processing supervisor at work, but his coworkers are skeptical of the sudden change."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So.... I quit. #ALL# : Why? Chandler Bing : Why? This was supposed to be a temp job! Monica Geller : Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years. Chandler Bing : If I took this promotion, it'd be like admitting that this is what I actually do. Phoebe Buffay : So was it a lot more money? Chandler Bing : It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS. Rachel Green : ... the WENUS? Chandler Bing : Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term. Rachel Green : Oh. That WENUS.", "summary": "Chandler quits his job after realizing he's been there for five years and doesn't want to admit that he's a permanent employee. He turns down a promotion because he doesn't want to be one of those people who works late nights worrying about work-related tasks."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So what're you going to do? Chandler Bing : I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do. I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef. Monica Geller : Um... hi there. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so.... Chandler Bing : Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah! Monica Geller : Well, what kind of food is he looking for? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu. Monica Geller : Oh my God!", "summary": "Chandler doesn't know what he wants to do and isn't happy with his current job. Phoebe suggests he become a head chef at a new restaurant, but Chandler lacks experience. Monica asks about the type of food the restaurant will serve, and Phoebe reveals it will be eclectic, requiring someone who can create the entire menu."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know! So, what do you think? Chandler Bing : Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Oh Monica! Guess what! Chandler Bing : Can you see my nipples through this shirt? Rachel Green : No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there. Phoebe Buffay : Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man? Chandler Bing : Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor a-gogo. I added the \"a-gogo.\" Rachel Green : Career counselor? Chandler Bing : Hey, you guys all know what you want to do. Rachel Green : I don't!", "summary": "Chandler Bing sees a career counselor to help him figure out what he wants to do with his life. Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Green discuss Chandler's appointment and Phoebe suggests that Chandler should wear a big white hat to impress the counselor."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream. Ross Geller : Ah, the lesser-known \"I don't have a dream\" speech. Monica Geller : Oh, I love my life, I love my life! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Brian's Song! Rachel Green : The meeting with the guy went great? Monica Geller : So great! He showed me where the restaurant's going to be. It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, not too small. Just right. Chandler Bing : Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears? Monica Geller : So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises. Rachel Green : What are you going to make? Phoebe Buffay : Yummy noises.", "summary": "Chandler doesn't have dreams while Ross gives an uncommon speech about not having a dream. Monica loves her life and tells them about her restaurant plans. Rachel discusses her meeting with a guy and Chandler wonders if the restaurant was previously owned by a blonde woman and bears."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And Monica, what are you going to make? Monica Geller : I don't know. I don't know. It's just going to be so great! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! I know what you could make! I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. Ross Geller : Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood? Joey Tribbiani : How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. Ross Geller : OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a good place if you're not dating a puma? Chandler Bing : Who are you going out with? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, is this the bug lady? Rachel Green : Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross. Ross Geller : Her name is Celia. She's not a bug lady. She's curator of insects at the museum.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are planning a dinner party, while Phoebe tries to suggest dish ideas. Joey suggests Tony's restaurant, which offers a free meal if you can finish a 32-ounce steak. Chandler asks if anyone knows a good date spot in the area, and Rachel confesses her love for Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So what are you guys going to do? Ross Geller : Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey. Chandler Bing : And he's not speaking metaphorically. Joey Tribbiani : So.... back to your place...you thinking, maybe... huh-huh? Ross Geller : Well, I don't know.... huh-huh.... but I'm hoping huh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal. Ross Geller : Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel... Celia : I can't stand this! He's got his claws in my... Ross Geller : Alright... Monica Geller : OK, try this salmon mousse.", "summary": "Ross hopes to impress a woman by introducing her to his pet monkey, but things get out of hand when she becomes frightened of the animal."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Mmmm. Good. Monica Geller : Is it better than the other salmon mousse? Joey Tribbiani : It's creamier. Monica Geller : Yeah, well, is that better? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know? Rachel Green : My God! What happened to you? Chandler Bing : Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? \"You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation.\" Phoebe Buffay : That's so great! 'Cause you already know how to do that! Chandler Bing : Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something. Rachel Green : Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!", "summary": "Joey and Monica compare salmon mousse, with Joey praising its creaminess. Rachel joins in to mock Chandler's job assessment results, which suggest he is best suited for data processing. Phoebe finds this amusing, given Chandler's lack of enthusiasm for the job. Meanwhile, Rachel notices Chandler's visible nipples through his shirt and teases him about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up. Chandler Bing : Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you. Monica Geller : It's supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche. Chandler Bing : Well.... it is amouz-ing... Monica Geller : Hello? Oh, hi Wendy! Yeah, eight o'clock. What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?... OK, great. All right, I'll see you then. Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Ten dollars an hour for what? Monica Geller : Oh, I asked one of the waitresses at work if she'd help me out. Rachel Green : Waitressing? Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh. Monica Geller : Well... of course I thought of you! But... but...", "summary": "Monica and Chandler share a small grape as an amuse-bouche, while Monica takes a call from Wendy about a job opportunity. Phoebe expresses her concern about the wage, and Joey jokes about Monica's new job."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : But, but? Monica Geller : But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress. Rachel Green : Oh! I see. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics. Chandler Bing : You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. Amouz-bouche? Celia : Talk to me. Ross Geller : OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning... Celia : No no no. Talk... dirty. Ross Geller : Wha... what, here? Celia : Yes... Ross Geller : Ah....", "summary": "Rachel and Monica argue over their waitressing skills, while Chandler boasts about his past experience as a waiter at the Olympics. Meanwhile, Ross shares a strange encounter on the train with Celia, who asks him to talk dirty to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Celia : Say something..... hot. Ross Geller : Er.... um..... Celia : What? Ross Geller : Um... uh.... vulva. Joey Tribbiani : Vulva? Ross Geller : Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling. Joey Tribbiani : Whoaa!! You cuddled? How many times?? Ross Geller : Shut up! It was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know? Joey Tribbiani : What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what you think other people might be doing to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try something on me. Ross Geller : Please be kidding.", "summary": "Ross and Joey engage in an awkward conversation about women and sex, with Ross admitting he is not comfortable with dirty talk."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Come on! Just, just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. Ross Geller : OK. I'm in my apartment... Joey Tribbiani : ....yeah... what else? Ross Geller : That's it. I'm in my apartment, you're not there, we're not having this conversation. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, look, I'll start, OK? Ross Geller : Joey, please. Joey Tribbiani : Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. Ross Geller : Wow. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, now you say something. Ross Geller : I... ahem... I really don't think so.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are having a conversation in which they are flirting with each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Come on! You like this woman, right? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You want to see her again, right? Ross Geller : Sure. Joey Tribbiani : Well if you can't talk dirty to me, how're you going to talk dirty to her? Now tell me you want to caress my butt! Ross Geller : OK, turn around. I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, alright. I'm around. Go ahead. Ross Geller : Ahem... I want.... OK, I want to... feel your... hot, soft skin with my lips. Joey Tribbiani : There you go! Keep going. Keep going! Ross Geller : I, er...", "summary": "Ross wants to talk dirty to a woman he likes, but he can't do it without getting flustered. Joey teases him and encourages him to caress his butt, leading to a series of awkward and hilarious moments."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I want to take my tongue... and... Ross Geller : ....and.... Joey Tribbiani : Say it... say it! Ross Geller : ...run it all over your body until you're... trembling with... with... Chandler Bing : ....with?? Ross Geller : Funny story! Joey Tribbiani : You're not going to believe this! Chandler Bing : It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler, while you were sleeping that guy from your old job called again. Chandler Bing : Again?", "summary": "Ross wants to use his tongue to pleasure someone. Joey encourages him, but Chandler interrupts with a funny story. Joey shares a personal experience with an ex-coworker calling while Chandler was sleeping."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And again, and again, and again... Hello? And again. Chandler Bing : Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? Yeah, I miss you too. Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? Well, that's very generous er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! I'll see you on Monday! Chandler Bing : Well? Phoebe Buffay : Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube. Chandler Bing : Look at this! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! You have a window! Chandler Bing : Yes indeedy! With a beautiful view of... Phoebe Buffay : Oh look! That guy's peeing! Chandler Bing : OK, that's enough of the view. Check this out, look at this. Sit down, sit down. Phoebe Buffay : OK.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani discuss a job opportunity with their boss, Mr. Kostelic, but Chandler rejects it due to the lack of passion in the work. Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay enters the office and is impressed by the size of Chandler's new cube."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : This is great! Helen, could you come in here for a moment? Chandler Bing : Thank you Helen, that'll be all. Chandler Bing : Last time I do that, I promise. Monica Geller : Wendy, we had a deal! Yeah, you promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! Rachel Green : Who was that? Monica Geller : Wendy bailed. I have no waitress. Rachel Green : Oh... that's too bad. Bye bye. Monica Geller : Ten dollars an hour. Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Twelve dollars an hour.", "summary": "Chandler tries to get Helen to come in, but she refuses. Monica and Wendy have a disagreement about a deal they made, and Wendy leaves. Rachel offers to waitress for $12 an hour, but Monica declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Mon. I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around. Monica Geller : You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... twenty dollars an hour. Rachel Green : Done. Rachel Green : Well hello! Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat? Monica Geller : Hi Steve! Steve (drug addict) : Hello, Monica. Hello, greeter girl. Monica Geller : This is Rachel. Steve (drug addict) : Yeah, OK. Phoebe Buffay : Mmmmmm! Everything smells so delicious! You know, I can't remember a time I smelt such a delicious combination of of, OK, smells. Steve (drug addict) : It's a lovely apartment.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica have a conversation about Rachel's wedding plans, with Monica offering to rent out her apartment to Rachel for $20 per hour. Meanwhile, Steve (a drug addict) enters the apartment and greets Monica, who offers to take his coat. Phoebe arrives and compliments the aromas in the apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, thank you. Would you like a tour? Steve (drug addict) : I was just being polite, but, alright. Rachel Green : What's up? Phoebe Buffay : In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja? Rachel Green : OK, OK. I'm with you, Cheech. OK. Steve (drug addict) : Is it dry in here? Rachel Green : Let me, let me get you some wine! Monica Geller : Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... ... with just a touch of mints... and... ... ginger.", "summary": "Steve, a drug addict, visits Monica's apartment and is offered a tour by Monica. Rachel joins in and asks about Steve's recent activity, to which he reveals that he smoked a joint on the way over. Monica offers him wine, and they move on to the first course of their meal, which includes rot-shrimp ravioli with celantro pondou sauce and a touch of mints and ginger."}
-{"dialogues": "Steve (drug addict) : Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic! Monica Geller : I'm so glad you liked them! Steve (drug addict) : Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of them! Monica Geller : Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets. Steve (drug addict) : Tartlets. Tartlets. Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Can I help you with anything? Steve (drug addict) : You know, I don't know what I'm looking for. Steve (drug addict) : Ah, cool! Taco shells! You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope. Monica Geller : You know that? You don't want to spoil your appetite. Steve (drug addict) : Hey! Sugar-O's!", "summary": "Steve, a drug addict, expresses his enthusiasm for Monica's baked goods, despite there being only a limited amount available. Rachel intervenes and offers to help Steve find what he's looking for."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You know, if you just wait another... six and a half minutes... Steve (drug addict) : Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! Monica Geller : No, we don't. Steve (drug addict) : Oh, OK. Oh, sorry. Monica Geller : Why don't you just have a seat here? OK... give me the Gummi-bears. Steve (drug addict) : No. Monica Geller : Give them to me. Steve (drug addict) : Alright, we'll share. Monica Geller : No, give me the... Steve (drug addict) : Well then you can't have any. Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! \"Help! I'm drowning! Help!\"", "summary": "Monica and Steve discuss making macaroni and cheese, but Steve becomes distracted and starts talking about Gummi-bears. Monica tries to give him some, but he refuses to share. As they continue to argue, Steve accidentally throws a Gummi-bear overboard, causing it to sink. Panicked, he cries for help as he starts drowning."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's it! Dinner is over! Steve (drug addict) : What? Monica Geller : What? Steve (drug addict) : Why? Monica Geller : Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet? Steve (drug addict) : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What a tool! Rachel Green : You don't want to work for a guy like that. Ross Geller : Yeah! Monica Geller : I know... it's just... I thought this was, you know... it.", "summary": "Monica waits seven years for an opportunity to serve dinner, but Steve can't even wait four and a half minutes for an onion tartlet. Joey insults Steve, Rachel doesn't want to work with him, and Ross agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look, you'll get there. You're an amazing chef. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! You know all those yummy noises? I wasn't faking. Joey Tribbiani : So, er... how did it go with Celia? Ross Geller : Oh, I was unbelievable. Joey Tribbiani : All right, Ross! Ross Geller : I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! And the... huh-huh? Ross Geller : Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh... Joey Tribbiani : You cuddled. Ross Geller : Yeah, which was nice.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss his dirty talk skills, with Ross claiming to have been elaborate and detailed, while Joey is impressed. Meanwhile, Celia is mentioned as someone Ross was with, but the exact nature of their encounter is left unclear."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You guys wanna try and catch a late movie or something? Rachel Green : Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, where the hell is he? Chandler Bing : Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! Whooooaaaa.... Phoebe Buffay : How's this? Steve (drug addict) : Eeeee! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry. How about over here? Steve (drug addict) : Aaaaah! Phoebe Buffay : See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? Steve (drug addict) : No.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey want to see a late-night movie with Phoebe, but they can't find Chandler. When they finally locate him, he's upset about something on the WENUS (a fictional website)."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What about this? Steve (drug addict) : Aaaaahhh!! Phoebe Buffay : There you go! Chandler Bing : This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now. Joey Tribbiani : Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss? Chandler Bing : Its Phoebe! Hi! Ursula : Hi. Okay, will that be all? Chandler Bing : Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here? Ursula : Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, \"Excuse me, hello Miss,\" so now Im here. Joey Tribbiani : No, no... how come you are working here?", "summary": "A conversation ensues between Phoebe Buffay and Steve (a drug addict), with Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani joining in. The group discusses a strange interaction at a restaurant, where Ursula (the waitress) suddenly appears and interacts with them. Confusion and humor ensue as the characters try to make sense of the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ursula : Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute. Chandler Bing : Can we start over? Ursula : Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. Chandler Bing : No, no, no! Ross Geller : I dont know whether hes testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, \"supposedly\" by accident. Rachel Green : No, yeah, Ive done that. Ross Geller : And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword. Rachel Green : Ive never done that. Chandler Bing : All right, now look at her and tell me she doesnt look exactly like her sister. Joey Tribbiani : Im sayin I see a difference.", "summary": "Ursula wants to buy aprons near her home, and Chandler suggests starting over. Ross's monkey keeps erasing messages on his machine, and Rachel admits she has done the same. Joey thinks Rachel looks like her sister."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Theyre twins! Joey Tribbiani : I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot! Chandler Bing : You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Lets not do that any more. #ALL# : Hey guys! Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ooh, fun! Okay... um, Liam Neeson. Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Phoebe Buffay : Morly Safer.", "summary": "Twin siblings are a topic of discussion between Chandler and Joey, with Phoebe adding her thoughts on Ursula's attractiveness. The group then shares their recent encounters, including celebrity sightings."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Phoebe Buffay : The woman who cuts my hair! Monica Geller : Okay, look, this could be a really long game. Chandler Bing : Your sister Ursula. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, really. Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah, she works over at that place, uh... Phoebe Buffay : Rifts. Yeah, I know. Chandler Bing : Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years. Phoebe Buffay : Hmmm? Yeah. So, um, is she fat? Joey Tribbiani : Not from where I was standin.", "summary": "Phoebe's sister Ursula works at a place called Rifts. When Phoebe and Chandler discuss her, they reveal that they haven't spoken in years and Chandler asks if she's gained weight."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : where were you standing? Rachel Green : Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just dont get along? Phoebe Buffay : Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like \"yeah, right, well what else is new?\" Ross Geller : Oh, Pheebs, I'm sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class. Chandler Bing : Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym. Rachel Green : So, is this just gonna be you and Carol? Ross Geller : No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team. Rachel Green : Well, isnt, isnt that gonna be weird? Ross Geller : No, no. I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think I'm pretty comfortable with the whole situation. Monica Geller : Ross, thats my jacket.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are preparing for Lamaze class while Chandler heads to Earth Science. Phoebe discusses her issues with Rachel, who is perceived as the pretty one in their group. Monica retrieves Ross's jacket."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I know. Woman : Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl. Teacher : Good for you. Alrighty, next? Ross Geller : Hi, um, Im err, Im Ross Geller, and err ah... ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... ..whos next? Teacher : Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is? Ross Geller : Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend... Carol Willick : Life partner. Ross Geller : Like buddies. Susan Bunch : Like lovers. Ross Geller : You know how close women can get.", "summary": "Ross and J.C. are having a baby boy and girl with Michael. A teacher interrupts them and congratulates them before moving on to the next student. Ross introduces himself and his son, Carol Willick, and Susan Bunch, who are close friends. They discuss how close women can get, implying a romantic relationship between Carol and Susan."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : Susan and I live together. Ross Geller : Although I was married to her. Susan Bunch : Carol, not me. Ross Geller : Err, right. Carol Willick : Its a little complicated. Ross Geller : A little. Susan Bunch : But were fine. Ross Geller : Absolutely. So, twins... hah! Thats like two births. Ouch. Chandler Bing : And to you too, Helen. Helen : Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.", "summary": "Susan and Carol live together, despite Ross being married to Susan. There are complications, but they're fine. Ross jokes about twins, then Chandler comes in with an update on Nina Bookbinder."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, okay. Send her in. Nina Bookbinder : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi, Nina. Come on in. Nina Bookbinder : You wanted to see me? Chandler Bing : Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers. Nina Bookbinder : Which is bad, because? Chandler Bing : Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack. Nina Bookbinder : Your... excuse me? Chandler Bing : WENUS. Weekly Estimated Net... Nina Bookbinder : Oh, Net Usage Statistics, right. Gotcha, gotcha. Wont happen again. I wouldnt want to do anything to hurt your... \"wenus.\"", "summary": "Chandler Bing discovers that Nina Bookbinder has been posting-dating her Friday numbers, which throws his WENUS (Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics) out of whack."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that... shes really really cute. Ross Geller : It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink. Monica Geller : Ross, your little creatures got the remote again. Ross Geller : Marcel, Marcel, give Rossie the remote. Marcel. Marcel, you give Rossie the remote right now... Marce... you give Rossie the remote... Monica Geller : Great. Ross Geller : Relax, I'll fix it. Rachel Green : Cool... \"Urkel\" in Spanish is \"Urkel.\" Ross Geller : How did he do this? Chandler Bing : So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long? Monica Geller : Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over a woman they both find attractive, while Monica tries to deal with forgotten Christmas lights that are still up months later."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, someone was supposed to write \"Rach, take down the lights\" and put it on the re... frigerate... How long has that been there? Chandler Bing : Hey, where you been? Joey Tribbiani : I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries. Chandler Bing : Score. Joey Tribbiani : She is so hot! Chandler Bing : Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?", "summary": "Rachel discovers a message on the fridge that someone was supposed to delete, leading to confusion about how long it's been there. Chandler returns from an unknown location and Joey confesses that Ursula brought him food at Riffs, causing Chandler to jealously comment. Phoebe enters the conversation and Joey asks her if it would be okay to ask out her sister, which Phoebe rejects citing various reasons."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So that if we went out on a date, shed be there. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I mean, I'm not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Cool, thanks. Ross Geller : You okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah Im fine. Ross Geller : You wanna watch Laverne y Shirley? Ross Geller : Sorry. Ross Geller : Hi. Sorry Im late. Wheres, wheres Carol? Susan Bunch : Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. I'll get the information. Ross Geller : No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey discuss the possibility of them going out on a date, but Phoebe is hesitant due to their shared history as an egg. Ross interrupts to ask if they want to watch Laverne & Shirley together, but Phoebe declines. Carol arrives late and Ross offers to stay and find out what's going on with her, despite Phoebe's objections."}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : Oh, good. Thisll be fun. Teacher : Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head. Ross Geller : What? What? What? Susan Bunch : I am supposed to be the mommy? Ross Geller : Okay, I'm gonna play my sperm card one more time. Susan Bunch : Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because I'm a woman. Ross Geller : I see. So what do you propose to do? Susan Bunch : I will flip you for it. Ross Geller : Flip me for it? No, no, no... heads, heads, heads! Susan Bunch : On your back... Mom.", "summary": "Susan Bunch and Ross Geller participate in a coaching training session where they perform breathing exercises and engage in a debate about gender roles."}
-{"dialogues": "Teacher : Alright, Mommies, take a nice deep cleansing breath. Teacher : Good. Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower. Chandler Bing : Mr. D, hows it going, sir? Mr. Douglas : Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in. Chandler Bing : And? Mr. Douglas : Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies. Chandler Bing : So what does this mean? Mr. Douglas : Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department. Chandler Bing : Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, but I slept funny, and my hair was very very – Mr. Douglas : Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?", "summary": "A teacher leads a class of women in a guided imagery exercise involving their vaginas opening like flowers. Meanwhile, a conversation takes place between two men, Chandler Bing and Mr. Douglas, about the annual net usage statistics being particularly bad and resulting in layoffs in various departments."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Nina? Nina. Nina. Nina. Nina Bookbinder : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me. Nina Bookbinder : What? Chandler Bing : Would you like to have dinner sometime? Rachel Green : So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday? Phoebe Buffay : Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me. Rachel Green : Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Bath salts would be nice. Rachel Green : Ooh, okay... good.", "summary": "Chandler Bing invites Nina Bookbinder to dinner, but is nervous about it; meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay wants her mother to be alive for her birthday and Rachel Green offers to get her bath salts as a gift."}
-{"dialogues": "Jamie : What is this place? Frank Buffay Jr. : Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be? Jamie : I think we have an answer. Frank Buffay Jr. : Whats she doing here? Jamie : This could be Gods way of telling us to eat at home. Frank Buffay Jr. : Think she got fired at Riffs? Jamie : No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... ..bringing swordfish. are you gonna go to the, um? Frank Buffay Jr. : Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right. Jamie : It looks like her. Jamie : Um, excuse me.", "summary": "Frank and Jamie are at a restaurant when they notice a woman who looks familiar. They wonder if she might be someone they know, possibly from work or from a previous encounter. As they continue their conversation, they speculate about her identity and potential reasons for being there."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Jamie : Hi, its us. Phoebe Buffay : Right, and its me. Jamie : So, so youre here too? Phoebe Buffay : Much as you are. Jamie : Your turn. Frank Buffay Jr. : Err... we know what we want. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thats good. Jamie : All we want is two Caffe Lattes. Frank Buffay Jr. : And some biscottie cookies.", "summary": "The friends are at a coffee shop and are ordering drinks and snacks."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Good choice. Jamie : Definitely her. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Monica Geller : I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet? Chandler Bing : Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights. Monica Geller : Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument. Chandler Bing : Im just trying to find the right moment, you know? Rachel Green : Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. \"Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?\" Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "Jamie chooses Phoebe as his girlfriend, while Frank Jr. and Monica argue over her job status and Christmas lights. Chandler tries to find the right moment to tell Joey's new girlfriend she doesn't have a job, while Rachel teases him about dating again."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more. Monica Geller : I'll get it. Monica Geller : Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles. Mr. Heckles : Youre doing it again. Monica Geller : Were not doing anything. Were just sitting around talking, quietly. Mr. Heckles : I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep. Rachel Green : You dont even have cats. Mr. Heckles : I could have cats. Monica Geller : Goodbye Mr.Heckles. Rachel Green : Well try to keep it down.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are talking quietly in their apartment when Mr. Heckles, their neighbor, complains that he can hear them through the ceiling. Monica apologizes, but Mr. Heckles insists that they are being too loud."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, my first birthday present... ..oh, this is really... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh... Sure, yeah... ..okay, it fits. Rachel Green : Are you seein her again tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Ice Capades. Chandler Bing : Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade. Joey Tribbiani : I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her. Phoebe Buffay : That you like, we get it. You like her. Great! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.", "summary": "Joey wants to make sure a gift fits on Phoebe, who agrees to try it on. Meanwhile, Rachel asks if Joey will see Ursula again that night at the Ice Capades, and Chandler mocks Joey for paying money for an ice show. Joey reveals he likes Ursula and is different from other women."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Alright, well, maybe now its not okay. Joey Tribbiani : Okay... Well maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Knit, good woman, knit, knit! Chandler Bing : And thats the Chrysler Building right there. Mr. Douglas : Nina. Nina Bookbinder : Mr.Douglas... ..cool tie. Mr. Douglas : Shes still here. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan. Chandler Bing : And err, he informed me that uh, she took the news rather badly, in fact, he uh, mentioned the word frenzy.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey argue over whether it's okay to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them. Chandler tries to distract everyone by pointing out landmarks, but Mr. Douglas mentions that Nina is still there. Chandler receives a call from Dr. Flanen-nen, who informs him that Nina took the news badly and used the word \"frenzy.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Douglas : Youre kidding? She seems so... Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no. Nina... ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all. Mr. Douglas : Thats unbelievable. Chandler Bing : And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others. Mr. Douglas : I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head. Chandler Bing : Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir. Soothing Male Voice : ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth. Teacher : Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class. Ross Geller : Susan, go deep. Carol Willick : This is impossible. Its just impossible.", "summary": "Nina is seemingly unaware she was fired and Chandler doesn't want to fire her again until he can ensure she won't harm herself or others. They discuss psychology and its role in understanding a person's mental state. The conversation ends with the teacher asking for the lights to be turned off, leading into the next class."}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : What is, honey? Carol Willick : What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in. Ross Geller : Carol, honey, shhh, shhh, everythings gonna be alright. Carol Willick : Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, \"Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?\" Susan Bunch : Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath. Susan Bunch : I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives. Susan Bunch : I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross? Ross Geller : Im gonna be a father. Rachel Green : This is just occurring to you? Ross Geller : I always knew I was havin a baby, I just never realised the baby was having me.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are surprised to learn that Carol is pregnant, and they try to convince her to stay indoors for the birth. Meanwhile, Susan tries to calm Carol down and reminds her that the birth will only be one day, but Ross is excited to become a father."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, youre gonna be great! Ross Geller : Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid? Chandler Bing : You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different. Phoebe Buffay : Wherere you going? Joey Tribbiani : Out. Phoebe Buffay : With? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, could I just ask you one question? Phoebe Buffay : Have you two, you know... like... you know... you know... yet? Joey Tribbiani : Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss his ability to be a good father, while Chandler and Joey discuss monkeys and babies. Phoebe asks Joey if he has had any \"you know\" with someone, to which Joey denies it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You meant sex, right? Nina Bookbinder : Do you have a sec? Chandler Bing : Ah, sure, Nina. Whats up? Nina Bookbinder : I dont know. For the past couple days, people have been avoiding me and giving me these really strange looks. Chandler Bing : Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us. Nina Bookbinder : Maybe. But that doesnt explain why they keep taking my scissors. Chandler Bing : Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise. Nina Bookbinder : I am? Chandler Bing : Sure, why not? Nina Bookbinder : Oh my god! Youre amazing!", "summary": "Nina Bookbinder is avoiding people and receiving strange looks. Chandler Bing suggests that it may be because they are jealous of their friendship. Nina is confused but pleased by the suggestion until she realizes that people have been taking her scissors. Chandler jokes that it may be due to a raise, which Nina finds amazing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, you dont know. Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise? Helen : So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel? Nina Bookbinder : What? Chandler Bing : Helen drinks. Will you marry me? Chandler Bing : Well, I ended up telling her everything. Rachel Green : Oh, howd she take it? Chandler Bing : Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... ..on the desk. Monica Geller : Okay, I think I get how to do this. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch. Monica Geller : okay, Pheebs, theyre gone.", "summary": "Chandler wants to propose to Helen but accidentally reveals his intentions to Nina. When Chandler tells Rachel about the proposal, she reacts with surprise. Monica helps Phoebe turn off the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Are you alright? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its... Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible? Phoebe Buffay : Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend? Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us. Rachel Green : Oh... Oh, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : I mean, I know Joey is not my boyfriend, or my thermos, or anything, but... Chandler Bing : Youre not gonna lose him.", "summary": "Ursula breaks Phoebe's stuff and steals her best friend. Rachel defends Ursula, while Monica and Joey try to comfort Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hon, you gotta talk to Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Okay. Ross Geller : No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt. Phoebe Buffay : But hes falling in love with her. Rachel Green : Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious. Phoebe Buffay : Okay... Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, oh. Ursula : Oh. Ursula : Yeah, um, may we help you? Monica Geller : Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe convince Ross to talk to Joey about his feelings for a girl he's been dating. However, Phoebe reveals that Joey is falling in love with her. Rachel dismisses their relationship as not serious due to its short duration. Monica and Ursula try to help the group inside, but Monica is concerned about Rachel being outside in the cold."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! Monica Geller : Oh-my-god Rachel! Rachel! Rachel Green : Im okay! Im okay! Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please? Mr. Heckles : See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about. Rachel Green : Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Monica Geller : Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something. Nurse Sizemore : My god. You still have your Christmas lights up? Nurse Sizemore : Fill this out and bring it back to me. Rachel Green : Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Monica Geller : Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?", "summary": "Rachel Green accidentally takes down Christmas lights and falls off a balcony, possibly breaking her foot or ankle. Mr. Heckles intervenes, and Monica Geller helps fill out an emergency form for medical treatment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You. Monica Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh, that is so sweet. Oh gosh, love you. Insurance? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that. Monica Geller : you don't have insurance? Rachel Green : Why, how much is this gonna cost? Monica Geller : I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars. Rachel Green : Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do? Monica Geller : Well there's not much we can do.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss insurance after Monica injures her arm. They debate how much it will cost for X-rays and treatment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Um... unless, unless I use yours. Monica Geller : Hah, no no no no no no no no no no. Rachel Green : well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my \"In case of emergency\" person? Monica Geller : That's insurance fraud. Rachel Green : Well, alright, then, forget it. Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow! Monica Geller : Okay, okay. I hate this. Rachel Green : Thank you. Thank you. I love you. Monica Geller : Hi, um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms . Nurse Sizemore : Why? Monica Geller : I am really an idiot. you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, I put mine.", "summary": "Rachel Green fills out someone else's emergency contact form at the hospital, including Monica Geller's information, but then realizes she has made a mistake. Monica Geller becomes upset and the two friends argue before making up."}
-{"dialogues": "Nurse Sizemore : You are an idiot. . Monica Geller : yep, that's me, I am that stupid . Ross Geller : I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid. Chandler Bing : That's nice. Ross Geller : No, no, with him. I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me. Joey Tribbiani : Tampa Bay's got a terrible team. Ross Geller : Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field. Chandler Bing : What are you crazy? That's a baby! Joey Tribbiani : He should take the sack? Ross Geller : Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.", "summary": "Ross dreams of playing football with his baby, but accidentally heaves the ball instead of taking the sack. He runs downfield, realizing he's not ready to be a father."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, you're gonna be fine. You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America. You're gonna make a great dad. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive? Chandler Bing : Well, only if you order stuff. Joey Tribbiani : I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday. Ross Geller : Wo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday? Joey Tribbiani : When's that? Ross Geller : Tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening? Ross Geller : You take your time.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss parenting and blockage during a conversation at the coffee shop. Joey suggests they take Ursula to the Rainbow Room for her birthday, while Ross mentions Phoebe's birthday is also that night. The two friends find it unlikely they will be able to attend both events."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : There it is! So what're you gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula. Chandler Bing : And your friend Phoebe? Joey Tribbiani : Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys? Chandler Bing : Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit. Dr. Mitchell : ..you add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference. Dr. Mitchell : Okay, errrr, Monica? Monica Geller : Yes? ..yes, she is. Rachel Green : Hi, this is my friend Rachel. Monica Geller : Hi.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss a potential plan to surprise Monica on her birthday, but Joey is worried about messing things up with Ursula and Phoebe. Dr. Mitchell offers cooking advice, and Rachel joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Mitchell : Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell. Dr. Rosen : And I'm his friend, Dr.Rosen. Rachel Green : Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor? Dr. Rosen : Excuse me? Rachel Green : I meant er, young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach. Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Right. Rachel Green : ..so, he said it was just a sprain, and that was it. Monica Geller : Uh, you left out the stupid part. Rachel Green : Not stupid. The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said \"yes.\"", "summary": "The two doctors, Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Rosen, are talking to Rachel about her injured ankle. Rachel makes a comment about their youthfulness as doctors, and Dr. Rosen responds negatively. The conversation then shifts to Monica mentioning something \"stupid\" that Rachel left out of the story. Finally, Rachel reveals that the two doctors asked her out on a date for the following night and she accepted."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates. Rachel Green : What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, cute doctors, doctors who are cute! Chandler Bing : Alright, what have we learned so far? The Whole Party : SURPRISE!!! Ross Geller : What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me. Rachel Green : Was that the cake? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon schmush. Monica Geller : Come on, she'll be here any minute. Rachel Green : I hope it's okay. Monica Geller : Oh...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are planning to have dinner with their doctors at the hospital where they work, but Monica thinks it's crazy because they should be avoiding the scene of the crime (where Ross left Rachel at the altar). Chandler tries to make light of the situation by pointing out the irony of cute doctors working at a hospital. When Rachel brings out the cake, Ross is startled and scares her, leading Monica to worry that she'll be late."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : \"Happy Birthday Peehe.\" Monica Geller : Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses. Ross Geller : Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what's going on? Ross Geller : Oh, we just... Phoebe's Friends : Surprise! Phoebe Buffay : oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! You found Betty! Oh my god! This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, Where's Joey? Chandler Bing : Did you see Betty? Ross Geller : I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say \"get out of my office!\" Ross Geller : Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?", "summary": "Betty is discovered by Phoebe and her friends on her birthday."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, if somebody had come to me with the idea andndash; Ross Geller : Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, \"Oh my god I'm gonna be a father\" kind of a thing? Ross Geller : No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about? Ross Geller : No, no, Dad, I was just wondering. Ross Geller : 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that? Ross Geller : Thanks, Dad, really, I ju... you know, I just, I just needed to know, um... when did you start to feel like a father? Ross Geller : Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew. Ross Geller : So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg? Ross Geller : No, we can go to Williamsburg. Ross Geller : Eat your fish.", "summary": "Ross Geller is discussing his feelings about becoming a father with his dad, Jack Geller. Ross reveals that he is not freaking out, but rather curious about how Jack handled being a father when he was younger. Jack explains that he didn't start feeling like a father until after Ross was born, when he held him in his arms for the first time and saw how tightly he gripped his finger."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rachel, the cute doctors are here. Rachel Green : Okay, coming! Monica Geller : Hi, come on in. Dr. Mitchell : Hey. Monica Geller : Hi, Geoffrey. Rachel Green : Hi. Dr. Rosen : Ah here, we brought wine. Dr. Mitchell : Look at this, it's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine, so how could we resist? Rachel Green : Oh, that's great. Look at that. Dr. Rosen : So, Monica, how's the ankle?", "summary": "Monica invites Rachel to meet with a cute doctor, but Rachel is hesitant. When they arrive, they are surprised to find two doctors, Mitchell and Rosen, who have brought wine from Ernest and Tova Borgnine's cellars."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's uh... Monica Geller : ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle. Rachel Green : You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um... Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses... okay... STAT! Rachel Green : Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine. Monica Geller : It will not be fine. We'll get in trouble. Rachel Green : Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss? Monica Geller : A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world, okay? Dr. Mitchell : So? Dr. Rosen : So... they sss-still seem normal. Dr. Mitchell : That's because they are.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel try to come up with a plan to reveal their secret identities, but Monica is hesitant due to the potential consequences. Rachel convinces her to be more confident and take the risk, but things quickly go awry when they are confronted by Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Rosen."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Rosen : okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into... Dr. Mitchell : Willya relax? Look around. No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. Go like this. Monica Geller : I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby. Rachel Green : I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we... Monica Geller : Sure, every time, you're such a princess... Rachel Green : You know what? Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : You know what? Monica Geller : What!? Rachel Green : You know what?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a disagreement between Dr. Rosen and Dr. Mitchell about meeting women at the hospital. Monica Geller and Rachel Green join in, with Monica teasing Rachel for being a \"princess\" and Rachel insisting she is not a baby. The conversation escalates into a series of retorts and insults between the two friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What!!? Rachel Green : Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother. Rachel Green : Hello! Here we go! Dr. Rosen : This is a great place. How long have you lived here? Rachel Green : Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago. Monica Geller : Yeah... ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar. Dr. Mitchell : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. Why don't you try the hummus? Dr. Rosen : So, Monica, what do you do? Rachel Green : Aahh, I'm a... chef at a restaurant uptown.", "summary": "Monica Geller left her wedding at the altar and has been living in the same apartment for six years. Rachel Green recently moved in nearby. Monica works as a chef at a restaurant uptown."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Rosen : Good for you. Rachel Green : Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do. Dr. Rosen : This hummus is great. Dr. Mitchell : God bless the chickpea. Monica Geller : Oh, god, I am so spoiled... That's it! Rachel Green : And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow? Monica Geller : I used to wet my bed. Rachel Green : I use my breasts to get other people's attention. Monica Geller : We both do that! Dr. Mitchell : Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.", "summary": "Rachel Green bosses people around and enjoys it, while Dr. Rosen praises the hummus they are eating. Monica Geller reveals she used to wet her bed, while Rachel shares that in high school she was a cow. The conversation ends with Rachel's father calling her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you... Rachel Green : Would you excuse me for a second? Monica Geller : Remember back in freshman year? Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed. Rachel Green : Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! ...dead! Monica Geller : Ross, he's got the remote again. Ross Geller : Good. Maybe he can switch it back. Ross Geller : Maybe not. Rachel Green : Hello? Um, yeah, uh, Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here. Rachel Green : It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god... Monica Geller : Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss an incident from their freshman year where Monica had sex with Billy Dreskin on Ross's bed. The conversation is interrupted by Ross, who changes the TV channel, and then Monica becomes anxious about a problem with the hospital admission form."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want! Rachel Green : Okay no, you do it. Monica Geller : Hello, this is Monica... Yeah??? Oh... Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down. Thank you. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms. Rachel Green : Ohhh... Okay, you were right. You were right! This was just not worth it. Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Okay, let me just change. Monica Geller : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Hey.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel forget to sign an admissions form, leading to a series of mishaps and misunderstandings."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Trouble? Joey Tribbiani : Your sister stood me up the other night. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you? Ross Geller : Well did you try calling her? Joey Tribbiani : I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ursula : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Um you, you got a minute?", "summary": "Phoebe's sister stood Joey up, and he has been trying to reach her for two days with no success."}
-{"dialogues": "Ursula : Um, yeah, I'm just... ..working. Phoebe Buffay : So. Ursula : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : Um, oh, I got you a birthday present. Ursula : Oh, wow! You remembered! Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos! Phoebe Buffay : Right, like the kind you... Ursula : Right... Oh, I got something for you, too. Phoebe Buffay : How'd you know I was coming? Ursula : Um, yeah, um, twin thing. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you did this.", "summary": "Ursula and Phoebe have a conversation about their work and birthday presents, with Phoebe bringing a gift for Ursula. Ursula mentions that she remembered Phoebe's birthday and got her a Judy Jetson thermos, and Phoebe replies that she knows it's the kind of thermos Ursula likes. Later in the conversation, Phoebe expresses surprise that Ursula knew it was her birthday and mentions the \"twin thing.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you... ..did this. Phoebe Buffay : So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey? Ursula : Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over. Phoebe Buffay : Does he know? Ursula : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you. Ursula : He is? Why? Phoebe Buffay : You got me. Ursula : Right. Ursula : Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?", "summary": "Joey and Ursula had a past relationship, but it's over now. Joey has feelings for Ursula, but she's not sure if he knows. Phoebe is confused about the situation and wonders if Joey knows about Ursula's feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So, um, are you gonna call him? Ursula : What? Do you think he likes me? Phoebe Buffay : No, Joey. Ursula : Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. Do you want some chicken? Phoebe Buffay : No. No food with a face. Ursula : You have not changed! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you too. Rachel Green : Hi, remember us? Nurse Sizemore : Mmm hmmm. Monica Geller : Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. 'cause um...", "summary": "Phoebe and Ursula discuss a man named Joey, with whom Ursula may have a crush. Phoebe does not think he likes her. Rachel and Monica join the conversation, with Rachel mentioning that she recently called about a signature on an admissions form, but now realizes she needs a new one because she put the wrong name on it again."}
-{"dialogues": "Nurse Sizemore : You're that stupid. Monica Geller : I am. I'm that stupid. Rachel Green : Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check. Nurse Sizemore : Well, you know your insurance will cover that. Rachel Green : Yeah, I know... ..I'm I'm just not that bright either. Chandler Bing : Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this. Ross Geller : Do you have a point? Chandler Bing : You know, you think I would.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over a medical bill, while Nurse Sizemore tries to help them understand their insurance coverage. Chandler makes a comment about not feeling like a father, and Ross agrees that this could be a problem for their son's relationships in the future."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What's up with the simian? Ross Geller : It's just a fur ball. Chandler Bing : Okay... ..whose turn is it? Ross Geller : Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'. Chandler Bing : No, no, you got zero points for 'IDNEY'. Ross Geller : I had a 'K'. Where's where's my 'K'? Ross Geller : You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'! Nurse Sizemore : You go get that animal outta here. Ross Geller : No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do. Monica Geller : What's goin' on?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler play a game where they take turns saying words that start with the letter \"K\" to earn points. Ross gets 43 points for \"KIDNEY,\" but Chandler mistakenly gives him zero points for \"IDNEY.\" When Ross's monkey swallows a \"K,\" he becomes frantic and tries to find a way to get it out, leading to a comical situation at the animal hospital."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile. Rachel Green : Oh. Nurse Sizemore : Excuse me... This hospital is for people! Ross Geller : Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart! Dr. Mitchell : I'll take a look at him. Monica Geller : Oh, thank you. Monica Geller : Michael. Dr. Mitchell : Rachel. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Monica.", "summary": "Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile, leading to a series of hilarious and absurd events as the characters try to figure out what to do next."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh. Monica Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Urse... Joey Tribbiani : ..ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, um... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, don't say \"listen.\" I know that \"listen.\" I've said that \"listen.\" Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica run into each other at Central Perk, while Phoebe tries to help Joey remember a recent conversation they had under a bridge."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : : Yeah, um... You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk! Joey Tribbiani : You don't drink. Phoebe Buffay : That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Urse... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : If it was, would you stop hanging out with her? Joey Tribbiani : no. No, I, I couldn't do that. Phoebe Buffay : Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me. Joey Tribbiani : Then, uh, then I'm sorry.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey discuss their feelings for each other under a bridge, with Phoebe admitting she was drunk and Joey revealing he can't choose between Phoebe and her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You know... You're gonna be really, really hard to get over. Joey Tribbiani : I know... Joey Tribbiani : I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oooh... Ross Geller : He looks so tiny. Joey Tribbiani : We just got the message. Phoebe Buffay : Is he alright? Ross Geller : Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found an 'M' and an 'O'.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey are breaking up, but Joey thinks she looks beautiful. Phoebe agrees, and Ross comments on how small Joey looks."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.' Ross Geller : Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now. Chandler Bing : So, you feel like a dad yet? Ross Geller : No, why? Chandler Bing : Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad. Monica Geller : Oh, look, he's waking up! Ross Geller : hey, fella! How you doing? Ross Geller : Aqui est. Monica Geller : A quin pidio el pollo General Tso? Chandler Bing : Pudo aver sido General Tso!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey's medical emergency and his potential spelling out of \"MONKEY\" using Morse code. While Ross and Chandler discuss whether or not Ross feels like a dad after helping deliver Joey's baby, Monica joins in to ask what Joey ordered for dinner and Chandler suggests it could have been General Tso's chicken."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Mira, Mira, el viejo desnudo est haciendo el hula hoop! #ALL# : Ewww! #ALL# : Hola, Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hola, amigos! Monica Geller : Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. Ross Geller : Lo que sucedio es que no le gusta la tele! Monica Geller : Hey, guys. Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? : Did you bring the mail? Monica Geller : Lots of responses.", "summary": "The gang is gathered in the living room when they notice an elderly naked man doing hula hoops. They are disgusted and try to change the subject. Joey greets them, but Monica reveals that Marcel took the remote control. Ross complains that he doesn't like TV, and Monica offers to get him the mail."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : : Really? : Sure, we have scones left! : OK, read them to me. Phoebe Buffay : : Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... Rachel Green : : We have apple cinnamon... Monica Geller : : OK... Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : : Your Visa bill is huge! Rachel Green : Give me that! Chandler Bing : You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again? Ross Geller : I don't know.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss a Visa bill, while Monica and Chandler argue about Rachel not wanting to go out with Linda again."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing? Ross Geller : No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... Chandler Bing : ...little playthings with yarn? Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Could you want her more? Ross Geller : Who? Chandler Bing : Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening. Ross Geller : Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... : Hiiii! Rachel Green : Hi! How are you? Ross Geller : We're fine, we're fine.", "summary": "Ross wants someone who will make his heart race, but he's over Dee (the sarcastic sister from What's Happening). Chandler tries to make small talk with Rachel, but their conversation quickly turns awkward."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : OK. Joey Tribbiani : Shut up! Chandler Bing : We're notwe're not saying anything. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : Uhhhh... Joey cried last night. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Chandler Bing : We were playing poker, alright... Joey Tribbiani : There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright? Ross Geller : Oh, guys, you should've seen him. 'Read 'em and weep.' Chandler Bing : And then he did.", "summary": "Joey cried last night."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play? Ross Geller : No, women are welcome to play. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it? Chandler Bing : There just don't happen to be any women in our games. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, right. Monica Geller : Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse! Rachel Green : Really. Monica Geller : I mean, that's a typical guy response.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel ask Ross and Chandler why they have never played poker with them, but they make excuses and imply that it is a \"guy thing.\" Monica disagrees, calling their responses typical and lame."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Excuse me, do any of you know how to play? Phoebe Buffay : No. Rachel Green : But you could teach us. Guys : No. Chandler Bing : OK, so now we draw cards. Monica Geller : So I wouldn't need any, right? Cause I have a straight. Rachel Green : Oh, good for you! Phoebe Buffay : Congratulations! Chandler Bing : OK Phoebs, how many do you want? Phoebe Buffay : OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.", "summary": "Ross tries to teach a group of friends how to play cards, but they are uninterested. Phoebe offers to teach them instead, but Monica already has a straight and doesn't need any cards. Chandler begins drawing cards, while Rachel congratulates Phoebe on her two card draw."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No. No, uh, Phoebs? You can'tyou can't do... Rachel Green : Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! Ross Geller : No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do that. Rachel Green : Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours. Ross Geller : Oh, you're... Monica Geller : Alright, here we go. We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites. Phoebe Buffay : OOooooo! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz... Chandler Bing : OK, so at this point, the dealer... Monica Geller : Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Let's play for real. High stakes... big bucks...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are playing poker with Monica and Phoebe, while Joey tries to convince Monica to serve snacks that are easy to eat during the game. Chandler joins in and suggests they play for high stakes."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy... Phoebe Buffay : But... I'm ready, so, just deal. Chandler Bing : OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. Alright babe, deal the cards. Monica Geller : Dammit, dammit, dammit! Phoebe Buffay : : Oh I see, so then, you were lying. Joey Tribbiani : About what? Phoebe Buffay : About how good your cards were. Joey Tribbiani : Heh... I was bluffing. Phoebe Buffay : A-ha! And... what is bluffing? Is it not another word for... lying? Rachel Green : OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow...", "summary": "Phoebe throws away two cards because they don't look happy, and Chandler gives a last-minute lesson on how to deal them. Monica gets frustrated, Phoebe reveals that Joey was bluffing about his card quality, and Rachel interrupts with work-related tasks."}
-{"dialogues": "Guys : Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chandler Bing : Rach, Rach, we gotta settle. Rachel Green : Settle what? Chandler Bing : The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so... Ross Geller : The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game. Rachel Green : Oh. Right. Joey Tribbiani : You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright? Monica Geller : Hell no, we'll pay! Phoebe Buffay : OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready. Monica Geller : And you know what? We want a rematch.", "summary": "The friends are discussing a game of some sort and King George is giving them land. Ross wants money for the game, Rachel owes money, Joey suggests forgetting about the money, Monica refuses to pay, and Phoebe has an alternative plan."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well that's fine with me. Could use the money. Rachel Green : : So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends. Ross Geller : ...Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less. Ross Geller : Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... Joey Tribbiani : ...Yeah? Ross Geller : I'm not a nice guy. Ross Geller : Alright boys, let's eat. Chandler Bing : Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria? Ross Geller : You still on that?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel play poker, with Ross being competitive and wanting to win at any cost. Joey and Chandler join in the conversation, with Joey making a comment about the pizza place where Ross got their food."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? : \"When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!\" Ross Geller : You are way off, pal. Joey Tribbiani : No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her. Ross Geller : Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one timenot any more. I justI... Ross Geller : Marcel! Where are you going with that disc? Ross Geller : You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OKif you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble. Rachel Green : Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being? Monica Geller : Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive. Phoebe Buffay : Ha. Ha, ha. Monica Geller : What?", "summary": "Ross has feelings for Rachel but denies them; Chandler questions Ross's poker behavior; Joey believes Ross loves Rachel; Marcel causes trouble with a disc; and Monica finds Ross competitive."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black. Monica Geller : Please! I am not as bad as Ross. Rachel Green : Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident? Monica Geller : That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand. Rachel Green : Oooooh. : Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview! Monica Geller : You're kidding! Where? Where? Rachel Green : : Sak's... Fifth... Avenue. Monica Geller : Oh, Rachel! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home. Monica Geller : Well, what's the job?", "summary": "Monica gets defensive when Rachel brings up an embarrassing incident involving Pictionary, while Phoebe teases Rachel about her job interview at Sak's Fifth Avenue."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living! Monica Geller : OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. Hi! Aunt Iris : Is Tony Randall dead? Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : I don't think so. Rachel Green : Why? Aunt Iris : Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Really?", "summary": "Aunt Iris claims to have hit Tony Randall (a person) with her car, which leads to a shocked reaction from Monica and Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Aunt Iris : No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. : Nice earrings. Phoebe Buffay : Thank y... Aunt Iris : Girls, sit down. Monica Geller : Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel... Aunt Iris : Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, I am parked at a meter. Let's do it. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else? Ross Geller : Alright. Ross Geller : I'm gonna pay for that tonight. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at a poker game with Aunt Iris, Phoebe, and Monica. Aunt Iris teaches them about bluffing in poker, but when they start to listen to her advice, things get out of hand."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what! Chandler Bing : Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident? Rachel Green : Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well! #ALL# : That's great! That's wonderful! Rachel Green : Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story... Monica Geller : OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker. Joey Tribbiani : Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand. Chandler Bing : Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary? Monica Geller : Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, we should. I think we should.", "summary": "Rachel went on a job interview and thought she nailed it, but the interviewer only recommended Trident toothpaste. The group plays poker while Rachel tells them a funny story."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those? Rachel Green : No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go. Ross Geller : Alright. Rachel Green : Alright... Ross Geller : So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones. Joey Tribbiani : But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, here's my $7.50. But I think you should know that this money is cursed. Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it. Chandler Bing : That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel owe money for a game, and Phoebe puts a curse on the money after Joey suggests they play \"Cross-Eyed Mary\" at their regular game. Chandler volunteers to take the cursed money in hopes of breaking it with a movie."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen... Rachel Green : Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. Monica Geller : You know what? This is not over. We will play you again, and we will win, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every last dime you have, and you will hate yourselves forever. Rachel Green : Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon. Ross Geller : So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing. Rachel Green : Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy. Monica Geller : OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker? Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. Right, OK, serious poker. Monica Geller : Excuse me, where are you going? Ross Geller : Uh... to the bathroom.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel challenge Monica and Phoebe to a game of poker, with Ross claiming he will win big. However, things quickly escalate as the group becomes embroiled in a heated argument over money, with each person trying to outdo the others in their bets. The situation gets more intense as the conversation goes on, with the group trading insults and threats. In the end, they decide to stop playing and focus on more important things."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker? Ross Geller : I want to go to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, well, I'm gonna order a pizza. Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then. Joey Tribbiani : That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over. Monica Geller : Alright, Cincinnati, no blinds, everybody ante. Phoebe Buffay : Yes! .... or no. Ross Geller : Alright. : Your money's mine, Green. Rachel Green : Your fly is open, Geller. Phoebe Buffay : You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang plays poker while waiting for news about a job opportunity. Joey orders a pizza and Phoebe realizes that \"Joker\" and \"poker\" have the same letters in reverse."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, that's... that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'! Joey Tribbiani : Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Um... I'm out. Rachel Green : I'm in. Monica Geller : Me too. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Alright, whattaya got. Ross Geller : Well, you better hop outta the shower, cause... I gotta flush. Rachel Green : Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! : Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it... Rachel Green : And your fly's still open... Rachel Green : Ha, I made you look....", "summary": "Ross and Rachel play a game of \"Joincidence\" with a group of friends. Rachel wins and gloats, causing Ross to become embarrassed about his loss."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I couldn't be inner. Monica? Phoebe Buffay : Monica, in or out? Monica Geller : I hate this game! Phoebe Buffay : OK Joey, your bet. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. Oh, I'm out. Phoebe Buffay : Ross? Ross Geller : Oh, I am very in. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Couldn't be more out. Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Rachel.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are playing a game where they take turns guessing if someone is \"in\" or \"out.\" Joey folds easily, while Ross and Chandler are more confident in their answers."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. What do you say... want to waste another buck? Ross Geller : No, not this time. So... what'd you have? Rachel Green : I'm not telling. Ross Geller : Come on, show them to me. Rachel Green : No..! Ross Geller : Show them to me! Rachel Green : Get your hands out of there! No! Ross Geller : Let me see! Show them! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I've had dates like this. Rachel Green : Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...", "summary": "Rachel and Ross engage in a high-stakes game of poker, with Rachel hiding her cards from Ross. Chandler observes the tense exchange and comments on their competitive dynamics."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants. Ross Geller : First of all, I'm not losing... Rachel Green : Oh, you are losing. Definitely losing. Ross Geller : Let's not talk about losing. Just deal the... Rachel Green : Hel-lo, Rachel Green. Ross Geller : Mee mee, mee-mee mee. Rachel Green : Excuse me. It's about the job. Rachel Green : Barbara! Hi, how are you? Uh-huh. No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? Monica Geller : Sorry, Rach. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, there's gonna be lots of other stuff.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over a job opportunity, while Phoebe tries to intervene."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah... ....OK. Where were we? Oh, OK... five card draw, uh... jacks or better... nothing wild, everybody ante. Joey Tribbiani : Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this. Rachel Green : Yes, we do. Monica Geller : Alright, check. Joey Tribbiani : Check. Ross Geller : I'm in for fifty cents. Chandler Bing : Call. Phoebe Buffay : I'm in. Rachel Green : I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. Ross Geller : I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey are playing poker with Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe. Rachel raises the stakes to $5 after Joey bets $0.50."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that? Rachel Green : : Loser? Ross Geller : No, I fold. Rachel Green : What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it? Ross Geller : I'm in. Rachel Green : How many you want? Ross Geller : One. Rachel Green : Dealer takes two. What do you bet? Ross Geller : I bet two dollars. Rachel Green : OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty.", "summary": "Rachel loses a job and wants to raise the bet by $5, but Ross folds. Rachel is confused and asks if Ross was just bluffing. They continue playing poker and Rachel raises the bet by $20."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I see your twenty, raise you twenty-five. Rachel Green : See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse. Monica Geller : Rachel, there's nothing in it. Rachel Green : OK, then get me your purse. Monica Geller : OK, here you go. Good luck. Rachel Green : : Thank you. : I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven. Phoebe Buffay : ...teen! Ross Geller : : Joey, I'm a little shy. Joey Tribbiani : That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What? Chandler Bing : : What do you need, what do you need?", "summary": "Ross raises the stakes in a game with Rachel, but Monica intervenes. Phoebe and Joey are involved in a conversation about something, while Chandler offers to help."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Fifteen. Chandler Bing : Alright, here's ten. Joey Tribbiani : Here, I got five, I got five. Ross Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Good luck. Ross Geller : : OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got? Rachel Green : Full house. Ross Geller : You got me. Joey Tribbiani : : Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat. Chandler Bing : : I thought we had them!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler compete in a game of gin rummy, with Joey watching and offering his own hand. Rachel joins in and beats Ross's hand with a full house."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. But, uh... look how happy she is. Chandler Bing : Airplane! Airport! Airport '75! Airport '77! Airport '79! Rachel Green : Oh, time's up. Monica Geller : Bye... bye... BIRDIE. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : That's a bird? Phoebe Buffay : That's a bird! Rachel Green : OK, OK, it's my turn. Chandler Bing : Go. Ross Geller : Uh.... bean! Bean!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss an unsuccessful attempt to impress a woman with their airport antics, while Rachel and Monica play a game of \"bye-bye birdie.\" Joey mistakes a small bird for a large animal, and Phoebe corrects him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : The Unbearable Likeness of Being! Rachel Green : Yes! Monica Geller : That, you get? That, you get? Rachel Green : Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? Okay. Monica Geller : Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven. Rachel Green : Thank you. Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee! Monica Geller : Oh good! 'Cause where else would we get any? Rachel Green : Oh. Right. ...Oh great. Monica Geller : What is it? Rachel Green : Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'inspiration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends discuss various teas at Central Perk and debate which one to get. Joey recommends \"The Unbearable Likeness of Being,\" while Rachel checks the menu and finds a free sample of coffee. Monica mentions mail call and receives a newsletter from her mother with engagement notices, including Barry and Mindy's upcoming wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Barry who you almost...? Rachel Green : Barry who I almost. Monica Geller : And Mindy, your maid of...? Rachel Green : Mindy, my maid of. Oh! Monica Geller : That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. Lucky. To have had a friend like you. Ross Geller : Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. 'Bring me the' and- Rach? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them. Ross Geller : Really.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel reminisce about their past romantic interests, including Barry and Mindy. Meanwhile, Ross interacts with his dog Marcel and becomes frustrated with its confusion between \"bring me the\" and \"pee in the.\" The conversation ends with Rachel expressing her conflicting emotions about being happy for Monica and Barry while also feeling left out."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody. Ross Geller : Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo? Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual... Ross Geller : Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there. Rachel Green : Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl? Ross Geller : Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who... Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : ...Gets interrupted. Hi! Rachel Green : Hi, how was the movie? Monica Geller : Wonderful!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross discuss their romantic preferences, with Rachel desiring a balance between a deep connection and intense physical attraction. They reflect on past relationships, including Barry (safe but lacking passion) and Paolo (passionate but unstable). Monica joins the conversation and shares her own experiences with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So good! Joey Tribbiani : Suck-fest. Chandler Bing : Toootal chick-flick. Phoebe Buffay : I-I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with, like, y'know, guns and bombs and, like, buses going really fast... Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity. Monica Geller : There was nudity! Joey Tribbiani : I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking. Monica Geller : Hugh! Hugh Grant! Ross Geller : Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are. Chandler Bing : They're still just friends, right?", "summary": "The gang watches a romantic movie together but have different opinions on it. Joey prefers movies with action and violence, while Phoebe wants something more light-hearted and romantic. Monica mentions there was nudity in the movie, which Joey clarifies he only means female nudity. Ross excuses himself to take a bath with Marcel, their cat. Chandler wonders if the characters in the movie are just friends or something more."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And I will see you tomorrow! Ross Geller : That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you. Monica Geller : Oh, hang on, hang on. Does Aunt Monica get a say in this? Ross Geller : 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there. Chandler Bing : I can't believe we are even having this discussion. Joey Tribbiani : I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief. Chandler Bing : I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already? Ross Geller : I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me. Joey Tribbiani : She really said that? Ross Geller : Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.", "summary": "Rachel plans to spend tomorrow at her aunt's house, which upsets Ross. Monica joins the conversation and questions whether she should be involved in the decision-making process. Chandler and Joey are skeptical of Ross's claim that Rachel is looking for someone exactly like him, while Ross insists that he heard it from Rachel herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : 'Tonight' tonight? Ross Geller : Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey... Chandler Bing : I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey. Ross Geller : Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her. Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used. Rachel Green : Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- Marcel? Marc- Joey Tribbiani : How could you lose him? Rachel Green : I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe- Monica Geller : Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one? Rachel Green : I don't know. The left one.", "summary": "Ross plans to take a bottle of wine and try to woo his date after work, but Chandler suggests taking her back to the 1890s instead. Meanwhile, Marcel poops in Monica's shoe during TV time, and Joey can't find him after he disappears."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Which ones? Rachel Green : Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. #ALL# : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative? Chandler Bing : Rachel lost Marcel. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, how? Monica Geller : He- he pooped in my shoe. Phoebe Buffay : Which one? Monica Geller : Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss Amish furniture, while Phoebe enters the conversation to inquire about Marcel, who has gone missing. Chandler reveals that Marcel pooped in Monica's shoe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky... Rachel Green : C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go? Chandler Bing : Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room. Rachel Green : Oh, my, God, c'mon, you guys! He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me! Monica Geller : Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth. Rachel Green : Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do? Monica Geller : Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you. Rachel Green : Anybody wanna trade? Oh... Mr. Heckles : Whaddyou want?", "summary": "A monkey is loose in the city and the group tries to figure out where he will go. Meanwhile, Rachel is worried about her husband coming home and Monica comes up with a plan to divide the building among them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it? Mr. Heckles : I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it? Monica Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall? Mr. Heckles : I wasn't ready for it. Monica Geller : A monkey. Have you seen a monkey? Mr. Heckles : Saw Regis Philbin once... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. Mr. Heckles : You owe me a waffle. Rachel Green : Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.", "summary": "Monica's friend lost a monkey, and Mr. Heckles has left a Belgian waffle in the hall. Phoebe questions why he would leave his waffle there, and Mr. Heckles reveals that he wasn't ready for it. Monica asks if anyone has seen the monkey, and Rachel identifies it as a black capuchin with white face and Russian dressing on the side."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today? Rachel Green : Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine? Ross Geller : Yeah. You, uh, you want some? Rachel Green : Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark? Ross Geller : Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? Well- Rachel Green : Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this. Ross Geller : Okay, quick and painful. Rachel Green : Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me. Ross Geller : Oh, what? What-what? Rachel Green : Y'know Marcel?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their relationships and feelings, with Ross expressing his desire to talk about something important but ultimately deciding against it. Rachel invites Ross to go to Newark with her, but he declines due to concerns about safety. The conversation becomes awkward and tense as they both struggle to communicate effectively."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : ...Yeah? Rachel Green : Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him. Ross Geller : I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment. Rachel Green : I know, I know, I'm sorry- Ross Geller : No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil. Rachel Green : Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- Oh! Who is it? Intercom : Animal Control. Rachel Green : See? I've even called Animal Control! Ross Geller : You called Animal Control? Rachel Green : Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?", "summary": "Lost monkey."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me. Rachel Green : O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that... Ross Geller : That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment! Rachel Green : Hi, thanks for coming. Luisa Gianetti : Somebody called about a monkey? Rachel Green : Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! Ross Geller : Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't. Rachel Green : Turned out it was a hat. Ross Geller : Cat! Rachel Green : Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nRoss has an illegal exotic animal, Marcel, and is trying to keep him a secret from the city officials who will take him away. Rachel accidentally invites them over to the apartment, leading to a misunderstanding about whether they have a monkey or a cat."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel. Luisa Gianetti : Marcel? Ross Geller : My uncle Marcel. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, is that who the monkey's named after? Luisa Gianetti : Oookay. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is, uh, punishable by up to two years in prison and confiscation of the animal? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail? Monica Geller : Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, but there isn't always time! Monica Geller : Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller. Luisa Gianetti : Oh my God, you are! And you're Rachel Green!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel search for Marcel, Ross's missing uncle, on the third and fourth floors of a building without success. Luisa Gianetti warns them that possessing an illegal exotic animal is punishable by up to two years in prison and confiscation of the animal. Phoebe objects to locking up the creature, leading Monica to suggest finding a friendly solution."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah! Luisa Gianetti : Luisa Gianetti! Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in home room! Rachel Green : Luisa? Oh my God! Monica! It's Luisa! Monica Geller : The Luisa from home room! Rachel Green : Yes!! Luisa Gianetti : You have no idea who I am, do you. Monica Geller : No, none at all. Rachel Green : None. Luisa Gianetti : Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'? Monica Geller : Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are shocked to see their high school classmate Luisa at a coffee shop. They had ignored her in high school, and now she reveals that they did so intentionally."}
-{"dialogues": "Luisa Gianetti : Ah, it's not so much you, you were fat, you had your own problems. But you? What a bitch! Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats? Luisa Gianetti : I could... but I won't. If I find that monkey, he's mine. Phoebe Buffay : Dun-dun-duuuur! Sorry. Chandler Bing : Marcel? Joey Tribbiani : Marcel? Chandler Bing : Marcel? Joey Tribbiani : Marcel? Woman No. 1 : Hi, can I help you?", "summary": "Luisa Gianetti and Rachel Green argue over a monkey, while Monica Geller asks for their help in dealing with it. Phoebe Buffay and Chandler Bing are confused, and Joey Tribbiani joins in on the conversation. A woman interrupts to ask if she can help."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something... Joey Tribbiani : A monkey. Chandler Bing : Yes have you seen any? Woman No. 1 : No. No, haven't seen a monkey. Do you know anything about fixing radiators? Joey Tribbiani : Um, sure! Did you, uh, did you try turning the knob back the other way? Woman No. 1 : Of course. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Then, no. Woman No. 2 : Did I put too much rum in here? Woman No. 1 : Just a sec. Hope you find your monkey. Chandler Bing : Oh, nononowaitwaitwaitnono! Uh... we may not know anything about radiators per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise in the heating and cooling... mileu.", "summary": "Monkey emergency! Chandler and Joey search for one, while Woman 1 tries to fix their radiator."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here? Chandler Bing : Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot. Joey Tribbiani : We can't, alright? We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out. Chandler Bing : Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people. Joey Tribbiani : Marcel? Chandler Bing : Marcel?! Phoebe Buffay : Marcel? Monica Geller : Marcel? Phoebe Buffay : Marcel? Both : Marcel?", "summary": "Marcel, a monkey, is the focus of a search by Joey and Chandler. They ask the women they encounter for pictures to help locate him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh-my-God! Monica Geller : Whaaat! Phoebe Buffay : Something just brushed up against my right leg! Monica Geller : What is it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg. Monica Geller : Look, Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Oh, c'mere, Marcel! Oh, Marcel, c'mere! Luisa Gianetti : Step aside, ladies! Monica Geller : What're you gonna do? Luisa Gianetti : Just a small tranquiliser.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe encounter an unknown entity that brushes against Phoebe's leg. They try to investigate, but Luisa interrupts and uses a tranquilizer on it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! Are you okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, think so. Oh! Huh. Whoah. Monica Geller : Oh gosh. Ross Geller : Marcel? Rachel Green : Marcel? Ross Geller : Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone. Rachel Green : Ross, you don't know that. Ross Geller : Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much. Rachel Green : Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!", "summary": "Marcel, a pet monkey, goes missing and Ross Geller breaks his foot in the search for him. Monica Geller and Phoebe Buffay help search but are unsuccessful. Rachel Green makes a mistake while trying to help and kicks a sign, which makes Ross realize he doesn't miss Marcel as much anymore."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose. Ross Geller : Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings... Rachel Green : Ross. Ross Geller : I don't even wanna hear it, you're just... Rachel Green : Ross. Ross Geller : Oh, forget it, okay? Rachel Green : Ross! Ross Geller : What? What? Both : Hey! Hey, Bananaman! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.", "summary": "Rachel accidentally causes chaos in her daily life while Ross is oblivious to her actions."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi, did you order some bananas? Mr. Heckles : What about it? Ross Geller : Gimme back my monkey. Mr. Heckles : I don't have a monkey. Rachel Green : Then what's with all the bananas? Mr. Heckles : Potassium. Ross Geller : Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel? Ross Geller : Marcel! What've you done to him? Mr. Heckles : That's my monkey. That's Patti, Patti the monkey. Ross Geller : Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon.", "summary": "Ross and Mr. Heckles have a conversation about bananas, with Ross accusing Mr. Heckles of having his pet monkey Marcel. Mr. Heckles denies it and introduces Rachel to Patti the monkey, causing confusion and hilarity ensues."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Heckles : C'mere, Patti. Ross Geller : C'mere, Marcel. Mr. Heckles : C'mere, Patti. Luisa Gianetti : Here, monkey. Here, monkey! Here, monkey! Gotcha. Ross Geller : Okay, gimme my monkey back. Mr. Heckles : That's my monkey. Luisa Gianetti : You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge. Mr. Heckles : That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever. Ross Geller : Alright, I want my monkey. Luisa Gianetti : No!", "summary": "Monkey ownership dispute between Mr. Heckles and Ross Geller ensues, with Luisa Gianetti intervening as mediator."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, c'mon, Luisa! Luisa Gianetti : Sorry, prom queen. Ross Geller : You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat. Rachel Green : Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it! Luisa Gianetti : Nope. Rachel Green : Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart? Ross Geller : It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine. Rachel Green : Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit. Ross Geller : Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I... Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...", "summary": "Rachel and Luisa have a confrontation in high school over a prom queen title. Rachel threatens to reveal a personal secret about Luisa to her supervisor unless she takes the monkey Luisa is holding hostage. Ross tries to intervene and make amends with Rachel after being hard on her earlier."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape? Rachel Green : That'd be good. Ross Geller : Alright. The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um... Barry Farber : Rachel. Rachel Green : Barry?! Barry Farber : I can't. I can't do it, I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you. Rachel Green : Oh! Ross Geller : We have got to start locking that door! Monica Geller : This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids? Phoebe Buffay : Nope.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about getting their friend Barry back together with his ex-wife Mindy, while Monica and Phoebe sing \"Do-Re-Mi\" from The Sound of Music in the background."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's because I'm in front of them. Chandler Bing : Eh. I thought that was an alp. Monica Geller : Well, high school was not my favourite time. Joey Tribbiani : I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice. Monica Geller : Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago? Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh! Chandler Bing : I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty. Joey Tribbiani : No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is. Ross Geller : I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss high school experiences; Joey enjoys his time in high school; Phoebe has a unique physical sensation; Chandler prefers being Mr. Peanut to Mr. Salty; Joey disagrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope! Ross Geller : I can't believe it! He's looking right at us! Rachel Green : Oh, that is so sick. Chandler Bing : I feel violated. And not in a good way. Phoebe Buffay : How can people do that?... Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots! Chandler Bing : I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games... Monica Geller : So have you called her yet? Chandler Bing : Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? I'm right, right? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle. Monica Geller : I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel encounter an odd man with a telescope who is spying on them, while Ross and Chandler are concerned about their privacy being invaded. Joey and Phoebe have a different reaction to the situation. Monica considers calling the woman she likes, but Chandler is hesitant to seem needy."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, God, just do it! Call her! Stop being so testosteroney! Chandler Bing : Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. I got her machine. Joey Tribbiani : Her answer machine? Chandler Bing : No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up. Phoebe Buffay : So, uh, why didn't you say anything? Chandler Bing : Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase \"Yes indeedy-o.\" Monica Geller : Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, they're just talking... Ross Geller : Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?", "summary": "Ross and Monica are watching Rachel and Barry walk into the apartment complex."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!! Ross Geller : What? What? What?! Phoebe Buffay : That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! Oh! Chandler Bing : And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law. #ALL# : Oh!... Right! Chandler Bing : Hey Rach! Monica Geller : How'd it go? Rachel Green : Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out... Phoebe Buffay : Not a good day for birds... Rachel Green : Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...", "summary": "A man kicks a pigeon, and then Monica takes Rachel to lunch at the Russian Tea Room."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm? Rachel Green : Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice! Ross Geller : That's, that's nice twice! Monica Geller : Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar? Joey Tribbiani : Duh, where've you been? Rachel Green : Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that? Chandler Bing : Yes! Rachel Green : Why? Chandler Bing : I have my reasons. Monica Geller : Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?", "summary": "Rachel reconnects with an old flame, Barry, and they have a nice conversation. However, Ross and Monica express their concerns about her reconciling with someone she left at the altar. Chandler reveals that Barry is engaged to another woman, who used to be Rachel's best friend."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it! Rachel Green : Wow... Wow! Barry Farber : Yeah. Rachel Green : I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that. Barry Farber : Nooo, it wasn't. Rachel Green : Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here... Chandler Bing : Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. Bye-bye. Oh God! Monica Geller : That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?! Chandler Bing : Hey, I've been honing! Ross Geller : What was with the dishes?", "summary": "Rachel plans to see her ex-boyfriend despite knowing it's a bad idea. Barry supports her decision. They discuss their past relationship. Rachel and Chandler talk about a new sink in her apartment. Chandler receives an unexpected call from Danielle. Monica questions Chandler's focus on his work. Ross expresses confusion over the dishes."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours. Monica Geller : Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Go away! Stop looking in here! Monica Geller : Great, now he's waving back. Joey Tribbiani : Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff! Monica Geller : What kinda stuff? Joey Tribbiani : Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked. Phoebe Buffay : You cook naked? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters. Chandler Bing : What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.", "summary": "Chandler wants Monica and Phoebe to think he might be in a restaurant, but Joey sees him looking through his telescope again. When Joey catches him, Chandler claims he was just looking at him, but Joey is creeped out. Later, Joey admits that he cooks naked, while Phoebe expresses her shock."}
-{"dialogues": "Barry Farber : What's the matter? Rachel Green : Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good. Barry Farber : No, it was. It was very very good. Rachel Green : Well, what about Mindy? Barry Farber : Oh, way, way better than Mindy. Rachel Green : No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy? Barry Farber : Well, if you want, I'll justI'll just break it off with her. Rachel Green : No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me. Bernice : Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment. Barry Farber : Thanks, Bernice. Let's go away this weekend.", "summary": "Barry Farber and Rachel Green have a conversation about their respective relationships. Barry thinks Mindy is not good for him, but he is willing to break off with her if Rachel wants him to. However, Rachel does not want him to end things with Mindy."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too.. Barry Farber : We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it. Rachel Green : I had a bra. Bobby Rush : Hey, Dr. Farber. Barry Farber : All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here. Rachel Green : What?! Bobby Rush : I'm twelve, I'm not stupid. Chandler Bing : Can I use your phone? Monica Geller : Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone. Chandler Bing : Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?", "summary": "Barry Farber proposes taking Rachel on their honeymoon to Aruba, where he previously went alone after their wedding was called off. Meanwhile, Bobby Rush interrupts Dr. Farber's examination of Rachel, and Chandler tries to use Monica's phone."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Maybe she never got your message. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet. Chandler Bing : Y'don't think that makes me seem a little... Ross Geller : ...desperate, needy, pathetic? Chandler Bing : Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad. Phoebe Buffay : How many beeps? Chandler Bing : She answered. Monica Geller : Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about. Chandler Bing : I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy. #ALL# : Hey! Hi!", "summary": "Chandler Bing tries various methods to contact a woman he likes, but she doesn't respond. He becomes increasingly desperate and pathetic, leading his friends to mock him. Eventually, she does answer and they arrange a date."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : How'd he take it? Rachel Green : Pretty well, actually... Monica Geller : Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair? Rachel Green : Oh, do I? Monica Geller : Uh huh. Rachel Green : We ended up having sex in his chair. Monica Geller : You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I? Ross Geller : You-you had what? Phoebe Buffay : Sex in his chair. Ross Geller : What, uh... what were you thinking?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica have sex in a dentist's chair, causing embarrassment for all involved."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol. Ross Geller : No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol! Rachel Green : Please. If she said to you, \"Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now,\" what would you say? Chandler Bing : If it helps, I could slide over. Ross Geller : It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go. Phoebe Buffay : Where are you going? Ross Geller : I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay? Chandler Bing : Hello? Hello? Rachel Green : Hello? Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. Really? Oh. Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... Okay... Great... Great... All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! Okay.. Okay... Bye. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Chandler Bing : So how's Mindy?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over their past relationship, while Chandler tries to intervene and Phoebe offers her own unique perspective."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be! Monica Geller : Brrrrrrr! Chandler Bing : Hell is filled with people like you. Joey Tribbiani : He's back! The peeper's back! Joey Tribbiani : Get down! Rachel Green : Get down? Chandler Bing : ...And boogie! Rachel Green : Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy. Monica Geller : Relax. Y'know, she may not even know. Rachel Green : Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..", "summary": "Mindy contacts Rachel after seven months of not hearing from her, causing unease and confusion. The group reflects on their past friendship with Mindy and the strange circumstances of her sudden call."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Rachel Green : And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so.. Joey Tribbiani : ..Naughty! Rachel Green : Right, I'll see you guys later... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- That's fine, yeah... Chandler Bing : Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone? Monica Geller : Why don't you just take it with you? Chandler Bing : Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee? Monica Geller : Why don't you just call her? Chandler Bing : I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.", "summary": "Rachel becomes the other woman and feels naughty. Joey reminisces about when she taught him how to kiss at summer camp. Chandler needs to use the bathroom but Monica doesn't want him to leave his phone with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Do you? Chandler Bing : No! Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. Okay. She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back... Monica Geller : Don't you have to pee? Chandler Bing : 'S'why I'm dancing... Rachel Green : Mindy. Mindy Hunter : Hey, you. Rachel Green : Hey, you.... So, what's up? Mindy Hunter : Um.. we should really be sitting for this. Rachel Green : Sure we should... So. Mindy Hunter : Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.", "summary": "Chandler accidentally shuts off his phone and can't be reached by Danielle, who tries to call him multiple times. Monica asks Chandler if he needs to use the restroom, and he replies that he is dancing as a reason. Rachel joins the conversation and mentions that Mindy Hunter is on the other line, and they discuss their friendship with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Mindy Hunter : Will you be my maid of honour? Rachel Green : Of course! Mindy Hunter : Oh that's so great! Rachel Green : Was that all you wanted to ask me? Mindy Hunter : That's all! Rachel Green : Ohhhh!! ...What? What? Mindy Hunter : That's not all. Rachel Green : Oh sure it is! Mindy Hunter : Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.", "summary": "Rachel Green and Mindy Hunter have a conversation about Mindy being Rachel's maid of honor. They discuss the role and Mindy agrees to do it. Later in the conversation, Mindy reveals that she thinks Barry, Rachel's ex-boyfriend, is seeing someone in the city."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Um, what- what would make you think that? Mindy Hunter : Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel. Rachel Green : Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too. Mindy Hunter : Oh God! You see, that's what I was afraid of! Rachel Green : What? What's what you were afraid of? Mindy Hunter : Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side. Rachel Green : What? Mindy Hunter : I know. I know, and when he proposed to me, everyone said \"Don't do it, he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel,\" and now I feel so stupid. Rachel Green : Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid. Mindy Hunter : What do you mean?", "summary": "Rachel and Mindy are discussing their respective relationships with their fianc\u00e9s, Barry and Ross, respectively. Both women have suspicions about their fianc\u00e9's behavior and past actions, which they share with each other. The conversation reveals that both women have been duped by their fianc\u00e9s and feel foolish for trusting them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Smell familiar? Mindy Hunter : Oh no. Rachel Green : Oh, I am so sorry. Mindy Hunter : No me, I am so sorry... Joey Tribbiani : Oh my. Ross Geller : Four letters: \"Circle or hoop\". Chandler Bing : Ring dammit, ring! Ross Geller : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know our phone's not working? Chandler Bing : What?!", "summary": "Rachel and Mindy smell something familiar, while Joey and Ross discuss a mysterious ring. Chandler's phone isn't working."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer. Chandler Bing : I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off! Monica Geller : Just like you told her you did! ... Just pointing out the irony. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone? Chandler Bing : Nngghhh!!!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Can I use your phone? Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please. Ross Geller : \"Heating device.\" Phoebe Buffay : Radiator. Ross Geller : Five letters. Phoebe Buffay : Rdtor.", "summary": "Joey tried to call Chandler but there was no answer, revealing that Chandler had turned off his phone. Monica pointed out the irony of this situation. Joey then obtained the peeper's name and wanted to use Chandler's phone, but Chandler refused. Ross provided a word for a heating device, while Phoebe gave an incorrect answer."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, is Sidney there? Oh, this is? Sidney's a woman. Monica Geller : So she's a woman! So what? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yeah, so what? Look, I live across the street, and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? Yeah, I can see you right now! Hello! If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like Thank you, but... that's not really the point... The point is that... Mostly free weights, but occasionally.. Monica Geller : Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, my neighbor... Yeah, the brunette... She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress. Monica Geller : The green dress? Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day. Monica Geller : Nooo! Rachel Green : Hey. Got a second? Barry Farber : Sure, sure. Come on... ...in...", "summary": "Joey sees Sidney across the street and mistakenly assumes she's a man. Monica corrects him, and Joey gets defensive. They discuss their living situations and Monica compliments Rachel on her appearance in a green dress."}
-{"dialogues": "Mindy Hunter : Hello, sweetheart. Barry Farber : Uh... uh... what're'you... what're'you guys doing here? Rachel Green : Uh, we are here to break up with you. Barry Farber : Both of you? Mindy Hunter : Basically, we think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you. Barry Farber : I'm sorry... I'm sorry, God, I am so sorry, I'm an idiot, I was weak, I couldn't help myself! Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much! Rachel Green : Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr? Barry Farber : ....Mindy. Mindy, of course Mindy, it was always Mindy. Rachel Green : Even when we were having sex in that chair? Barry Farber : I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.", "summary": "Two friends, Mindy and Rachel, come to break up with a man named Barry due to his poor treatment of them. However, Barry becomes defensive and admits to still having feelings for one of the women, Mindy. The conversation quickly devolves into chaos and confusion as both parties express their true feelings and thoughts towards each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup! Mindy Hunter : You did it twice? Rachel Green : Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry. Mindy Hunter : Okay... Barry Farber : Sweetheart, just gimme- gimme another chance, okay, we'll start all over again. We'll go back to Aruba. Bernice : Dr. Farber, we've got a bit of an emergency here...Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer. Barry Farber : Oh God... I'll be right there, Bernice. Look, please, please don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be, I'll be right back. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great. Mindy Hunter : Yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him. Rachel Green : What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!", "summary": "Barry Farber tries to impress Rachel Green by claiming he has a chance to take her on another vacation to Aruba. However, Bernice interrupts and informs him that Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer. Despite the emergency, Barry insists on staying and trying again with Rachel. Meanwhile, Mindy Hunter remains loyal to Barry despite his flaws."}
-{"dialogues": "Mindy Hunter : Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S. Rachel Green : Oh God. Mindy Hunter : I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...? Rachel Green : And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba. Monica Geller : You okay? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah! Y'know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding, I have wondered whether I made the right choice. And now I know. Monica Geller : Aww... Joey Tribbiani : Big day.", "summary": "Mindy wants to be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S., but Rachel is worried about her safety around him after he ran out on their wedding. Monica tries to comfort Rachel while Joey celebrates the excitement of the day."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat... Phoebe Buffay : You know he's gay? Ross Geller : I just wanna clarify this: are you outing Mr. Peanut? Danielle : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody. #ALL# : Hi. Hi. Chandler Bing : What are you doing here? Danielle : Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay. Chandler Bing : ...I'm, I'm okay. Danielle : Listen uh, maybe we could get together later?", "summary": "Mr. Peanut (a character known for his elegant dress sense) is outed as gay by Phoebe Buffay during a conversation with Ross Geller, Chandler Bing, and Danielle (a new character who has been trying to reach Chandler)."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever... Danielle : You got it. Chandler Bing : Okay. Danielle : G'bye, everybody. #ALL# : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Whoo-hoo! Monica Geller : Yeah, there you go! Ross Geller : Second date! Chandler Bing : ...I dunno. Rachel Green : You don't know?!", "summary": "Chandler and Danielle make plans to call each other, while the others discuss their relationships. Phoebe and Monica are excited for Rachel's second date, but Chandler is hesitant about his own prospects."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that? Joey Tribbiani : How could someone get a hold of your credit card number? Monica Geller : I have no idea. But look how much they spent! Rachel Green : Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought. Monica Geller : I know. It's just such reckless spending. Ross Geller : I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind. Chandler Bing : Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop. Monica Geller : That's me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! Ross Geller : Marcel, stop humping the lamp! Stop humping! Now Marcel, come back- come here, Marcel-", "summary": "Monica discovers that someone has used her credit card without her permission and spent a large amount of money. She is upset about the reckless spending, while Chandler finds the purchase of a $69.95 Wonder Mop amusing. Meanwhile, Joey tries to figure out how someone could have obtained Monica's credit card information, and Ross deals with his dog Marcel's behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him. Monica Geller : Ross, you've got to do something about the humping. Ross Geller : What? It's, it's just a phase. Chandler Bing : Well, that's what we said about Joey... Ross Geller : Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal. Rachel Green : Stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious. Rachel Green : Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing. Monica Geller : This woman's living my life.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about a stuffed animal in her room, while Monica brings up an old argument about Joey. Chandler makes a joke about it, but Ross insists it's not a big deal."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies. Rachel Green : You're not an artist. Monica Geller : Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't. Rachel Green : Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things. Monica Geller : Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we. Rachel Green : Oh, it's so late for 'Shall we'... Monica Geller : Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School? Rachel Green : Nooo... Monica Geller : This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.", "summary": "Rachel envies Monica for living her life better than her as they compare their experiences."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : How about Joey... Pepponi? Joey Tribbiani : No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral. Chandler Bing : Joey... Switzerland? Joey Tribbiani : Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. Which I'm not. Chandler Bing : Joe...Joe...Joe...Stalin? Joey Tribbiani : Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar. Chandler Bing : Well, it does not ring a bell with me... Joey Tribbiani : Joe Stalin. Y'know, that's pretty good. Chandler Bing : Might wanna try Joseph. Joey Tribbiani : Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!", "summary": "Joey wants a neutral-sounding stage name and considers options like \"Switzerland\" or \"Joe.\" Chandler suggests \"Stalin,\" which Joey finds familiar but not in a good way. They both agree on the name \"Joseph.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hi. Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were. Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing? Monica Geller : Alright, great. Thanks a lot. I'm going to tap class. Rachel Green : What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card? Monica Geller : This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is. Rachel Green : Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing. Phoebe Buffay : This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.", "summary": "Joseph Stalin stars in a production of \"Bye Bye Birdie,\" but things take a bizarre turn when he becomes the \"Fiddler on the Roof.\" Meanwhile, Monica Geller becomes obsessed with finding the woman who stole her credit card and attends tap dance classes to confront her. Rachel Green joins in on the fun, while Phoebe Buffay tries to intervene before things get out of hand."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What d'you think? Phoebe Buffay : Lotsa things. Rachel Green : Which one do you think she is? Teacher : May I help you? Monica Geller : Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe. Teacher : You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. Spare shoes are over there. Rachel Green : What does she mean? Phoebe Buffay : I think she means 'You dance a dance class'. Oh, c'mon, c'mon. Monica Geller : Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me? Teacher : People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss who they think might be the teacher in a dance class, while the teacher tries to lead the class and urges the students to \"dance a dance class.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : She could be you. Teacher : Let's get started. Five, six, a-five six seven eight... Monica Geller : Okay, I'm not getting this! Phoebe Buffay : I'm totally getting it! Monica Geller : Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated? Rachel Green : What? You just click when they click. Teacher : Alright people, now everyone grab a partner. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel. Monica Geller : Great. It's gym class all over again. Phoebe Buffay : Aww.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica struggle to learn a dance routine in gym class, while Phoebe quickly picks it up."}
-{"dialogues": "Teacher : Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me. Monica Geller : Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare. Woman : It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry I'm late, okay, here I am. Who's the new tense girl? Teacher : She's your partner. Woman : Hi. I'm Monica. Monica Geller : Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana. Woman : Monana? Monica Geller : Yeah. It's Dutch. Fake Monica : You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. Monica Geller : Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.", "summary": "Monica and a woman named Woman are at the school dance, where Teacher invites Monica to dance with him. Monica declines and instead offers to take off her clothes and have a nightmare. The other two continue to chat, with Monica introducing herself as \"Mo-nana\" and Woman expressing surprise that she spent three years in Amsterdam. Fake Monica then enters the scene, revealing that she is actually from Pennsylvania Dutch region."}
-{"dialogues": "Teacher : And we're dancing. A-five, six, seven, eight... Ross Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Where've you been? Ross Geller : At the vet. Chandler Bing : She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she? Ross Geller : She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently he's reached sexual maturity. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! He beat ya. Ross Geller : She says as time goes on, he's gonna start getting agressive and violent. Chandler Bing : So what does this mean?", "summary": "Ross has taken his dog Marcel to the vet, who informs him that Marcel has reached sexual maturity and will become aggressive and violent as time goes on."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm gonna have to give him up. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks! Chandler Bing : I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already? Ross Geller : I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg. Joey Tribbiani : Isn't there any way you can keep him? Ross Geller : No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo. Joey Tribbiani : How do you get a monkey into a zoo? Chandler Bing : I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen. Ross Geller : Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo.", "summary": "Ross has to give up his pet monkey because he's grown too big and aggressive. He and his friends try to find a new home for the monkey at a zoo, but they have trouble finding one that will take him due to his size and temperament."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey. We found her, we found the girl. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Did you call the cops? Rachel Green : Nope. We took her to lunch. Chandler Bing : Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice. Ross Geller : What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer. Monica Geller : Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit. Ross Geller : Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader. Chandler Bing : ...Take off their hats! Phoebe Buffay : Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.", "summary": "The group finds a girl they believe to be a thief and take her out for lunch instead of calling the police. As they get to know her, they begin to see a different side of her and forget about their initial suspicions."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No way. No way did you do this. Fake Monica : Monana was very brave. Monica Geller : It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor! Fake Monica : So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts... Monica Geller : ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me! Rachel Green : Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. Fake Monica : Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show. Monica Geller : 'Scuse me? Fake Monica : There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say? Monica Geller : Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel get mistaken for someone else at a hotel and are thrown out, while Fake Monica and Monica audition for a Broadway show, Cats, and plan to sing \"Memories\" despite having no experience."}
-{"dialogues": "Fake Monica : Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background. Monica Geller : What? Fake Monica : Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right? Monica Geller : Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned. Fake Monica : I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society? Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Fake Monica : I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do. Monica Geller : Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire. Ross Geller : Oh God. We didn't get into Scranton. That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him. Phoebe Buffay : I'd say that chair's taking the brunt.", "summary": "Monica Geller and Fake Monica have a conversation about movies, with Fake Monica sharing her thoughts on Dead Poets' Society and Mrs. Doubtfire, while Monica Geller expresses her disagreement. Ross Geller joins the conversation and mentions that he did not get into Scranton University, causing Phoebe Buffay to remark that the chair is taking the brunt of their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Marcel! Marcel! Marcel, no! Good boy. See, how can nobody want him? Rachel Green : Oh, somebody will. Joey Tribbiani : You know there already is a Joseph Stalin? Chandler Bing : You're kidding. Joey Tribbiani : Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that! Chandler Bing : Y'know, you'd think I would've. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be? Phoebe Buffay : ...Flame Boy. Ross Geller : Where exactly is your zoo? Dr. Baldhara : Well, it's technically not a zoo per se, it's more of an interactive wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel?", "summary": "Marcel is a dog that nobody wants, but Ross tries to convince someone to adopt him. Joey is confused by the existence of a historical figure named Joseph Stalin and Chandler expresses his surprise that nobody knew about it. Phoebe suggests a stage name for Joey's career as a musician, while Dr. Baldhara asks questions about Marcel in an attempt to determine if he can be adopted."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes. Dr. Baldhara : Does he, uh, fight with other animals? Ross Geller : No-no, he's, he's very docile. Dr. Baldhara : Even if he were... cornered? Ross Geller : Well I, I don't know. Why? Dr. Baldhara : Uh, how is he at handling small objects? Ross Geller : He can hold a banana, if that's whatcha mean... Dr. Baldhara : How about a hammer, or a small blade? Ross Geller : Why- why- why would he need a blade? Dr. Baldhara : Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel.", "summary": "Ross Geller's pet monkey is docile and doesn't fight with other animals. Even if cornered, the monkey doesn't show aggression. It can hold a banana but not a hammer or small blade. The conversation suggests that Dr. Baldhara wants to give the monkey something to defend itself against larger and more dangerous animals in the jungle."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : He- he- he got in, he- he got in to San Diego. Joey Tribbiani : We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing... Chandler Bing : ...He's in. Ross Geller : He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego! Dr. Baldhara : You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains. Monica Geller : Yo- hooo! Rachel Green : Where the hell've you been? Monica Geller : Monica and I just crashed an embassy party. Rachel Green : Are you drunk?! Monica Geller : Noooo! I'm lying. I am so drunk.", "summary": "He got in to San Diego."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried... Rachel Green : Monica? Monica! Monica Geller : Water rules! Rachel Green : Yes, yes, it does. Okay, look, the restaurant called, they wanna know if you're gonna be showing up for work? Monica Geller : Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today. Rachel Green : Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you! Monica Geller : No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana! Rachel Green : Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people. Monica Geller : Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks. Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Monica Geller reveals that she has left her job to pursue a career as a circus performer, much to Rachel Green's concern about her losing her job. Monica enthusiastically embraces her new identity as \"Monana,\" and the conversation turns to a call from a credit card company."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : They've arrested Monica. Monica Geller : Hi. Fake Monica : Hey. Monica Geller : How are you? Fake Monica : I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here? Monica Geller : Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using. Fake Monica : That I was not expecting. Monica Geller : I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in. Fake Monica : Oh. Thanks. Monica Geller : No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!", "summary": "Monica Geller was arrested. She encountered a fake Monica who used her credit card. The real Monica revealed herself and explained she didn't turn in the fake Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Fake Monica : Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'. Monica Geller : I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus? Fake Monica : Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus? Monica Geller : Well, not... worried, just... wondering. Fake Monica : There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are. Monica Geller : Not necessarily... Fake Monica : Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing. Monica Geller : Um, I'm not actually Amish. Fake Monica : Really? Then why are you like that? Teacher : You by the door. In or out?", "summary": "Monica Geller wonders who will take her to the Big Apple Circus after a fake version of herself pees in front of 25 other women. The real Monica is concerned about her identity after being transported back to when she was a teenager."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : In. Teacher : You in the back, you're getting it all wrong! Monica Geller : Yeah, but at least I'm doing it! Announcement : This is the final boarding call for flight 67 to San Diego, boarding at gate 42A. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane. Ross Geller : Aww. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn. Joey Tribbiani : I dunno what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey. Ross Geller : Just, just say what you feel.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe argue in class, while an announcement plays over the intercom for a flight to San Diego. Phoebe gives Ross a poem before he boards the plane, and Chandler warns him about the potential ladies in San Diego. Joey is unable to come up with anything to say to Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Marcel, I'm hungry. Ross Geller : That was good. Rachel Green : Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane. Ross Geller : Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him. #ALL# : Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. Ross Geller : Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him. Actor : Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might... touch thy cheek... Casting Director No. 1 : That's fine, thank you. Casting Director No. 2 : Next. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio.", "summary": "Ross and Marcel share a moment on the plane, with Ross expressing his sadness at Marcel's impending departure. Meanwhile, Joey reads for the role of Mercutio in a Shakespeare play."}
-{"dialogues": "Casting Director No. 2 : Name? Joey Tribbiani : Holden McGroin. Monica Geller : Tell him. Rachel Green : No. Phoebe Buffay : Tell him, tell him. Monica Geller : Just...please tell him. Rachel Green : Shut up! Chandler Bing : Tell me what? Monica Geller : Look at you, you won't even look at him. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Holden McGroin are vying for the same role in a movie. Monica Geller tries to convince Joey that Holden is the better choice, while Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay encourage Joey to pursue his dreams. Chandler Bing joins the conversation and jokes about why women won't look at him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were... Phoebe Buffay : Doing it on this table. Chandler Bing : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Exellent dream score. Ross Geller : Why, why, why would you dream that? Chandler Bing : More importantly, was I any good? Rachel Green : Well, you were pretty damn good. Chandler Bing : Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm allways surprisingly inadequate. Rachel Green : Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table. Ross Geller : I love it, when we share.", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler have a dream where they are having sex on a table, while Phoebe, Joey, and Ross watch. Chandler is concerned about his performance, but Rachel assures him he was good. In their dream, Chandler is always inadequate, but last night he knew how to pleasure her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You're okay there? Ross Geller : I can't belive you two had sex in her dream. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious. Chandler Bing : Hello Rachel. Rachel Green : Get off. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. What are you wearing? Ross Geller : Pheebs, why would you want to operate a drill press? Phoebe Buffay : Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients. Chandler Bing : Pirates again?", "summary": "Chandler and Ross discuss having sex in Rachel's dream, while Phoebe wants to operate a drill press for short-term work until she gets back her massage clients. Joey is distracted by Phoebe's clothing."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this \"massage-yourself-at-home-workshop.\" And they are. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, Chan. She could work for you. Chandler Bing : Thanks Joey, that's a good idea. Phoebe Buffay : What... I could, I could do it. What is it? Chandler Bing : Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. It's a whole big boob story. Phoebe Buffay : I could be a secretary. Chandler Bing : Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day. Phoebe Buffay : I could do that. Rachel Green : What are you playing with? Ross Geller : Oh, it's my new beeper.", "summary": "Phoebe teaches a \"massage-yourself-at-home-workshop,\" but realizes she could be a secretary for Chandler's office instead. Joey suggests Phoebe take on the role, but Chandler is hesitant due to the job requiring normalcy for a significant portion of the day. Meanwhile, Rachel finds Ross' new beeper interesting."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for? Monica Geller : Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.' Ross Geller : No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO. Chandler Bing : A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid. Monica Geller : All right, I'll see you guys later. Rachel Green : Off to see young Ethan? Monica Geller : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : How young is young Ethan? Young? Monica Geller : He's... our age. Chandler Bing : When we were?", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nJoey wonders why a paleontologist would need a beeper, while Monica jokes that it could come in handy for dinosaur emergencies. Ross explains that Carol can use the beeper to get him wherever he is when she goes into labor. Chandler comes up with a cool phone number and potential name for the baby, while Monica leaves to see her son Ethan. Joey asks how old Ethan is, and Monica reveals that he's around their age."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, he's a senior in college. Ross Geller : College? Chandler Bing : Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are? Monica Geller : No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22. #ALL# : What? Monica Geller : Oh, I can't pass for 22? Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe 25-26. Monica Geller : I am 26. Phoebe Buffay : There you go. Chandler Bing : Can you hear that?", "summary": "A 30-year-old man is interested in a 22-year-old woman, but she lies and tells him she's 26 to impress him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Chandler Bing : See that'll stop when you pick up the phone. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Uh, I'm on. Phoebe Buffay : Mr. Bing's office. No I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now. Chandler Bing : I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops. Phoebe Buffay : Will he know what this is in reference to? And he has your number? All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye. Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Ross says hi. Chandler Bing : Ah! Phoebe Buffay : This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?", "summary": "Ross says hello to Chandler, but Chandler mistakes the message for something else."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, now, I actually have to get to work. Phoebe Buffay : Most likely. Okay, I'm gonna be out there. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Bye bye. Chandler Bing : Bye bye. Chandler Bing : Yes? Phoebe Buffay : Whatcha doin'? Chandler Bing : Ooh. Monica Geller : Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? No, cause I made lasagne. Am I out of control? Rachel Green : Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.", "summary": "Monica cleans the windows and lights candles while Chandler and Phoebe say their goodbyes. Monica then mentions she may have turned off the fish tank and is unsure if she made lasagna. Rachel expresses confusion about Monica's sudden change in behavior towards her boyfriend, to which Monica responds that she has been dating him since midterms."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Could tonight be the Night? Monica Geller : I don't know. Look he's a great guy and I love being with him but... you know. Things happen, and they happen. You don't plan these things. Rachel Green : So, did you shave your legs? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : A-ha! Joey Tribbiani : Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean... Ross Geller : Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god it's baby time. Baby time. Joey Tribbiani : All right, relax, relax. Just relax, just relax. Be cool, be cool. Ross Geller : Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. No, Andr is not here. Third time today. Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss the possibility of something happening tonight. Monica is unsure because things don't always go as planned. They then move on to a conversation about shaving legs. Ross interrupts to say he keeps getting beeped by someone, and Joey tries to calm him down."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Services? Oh, services. Ross Geller : Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. No, belive me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. All rightie, bye bye. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey. How was the first day? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, exellent. Everyone was so, so nice. Chandler Bing : See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. Me. Phoebe Buffay : No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you. Chandler Bing : Why not? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, because, you know... they don't like you. Chandler Bing : What?! Phoebe Buffay : I thought you knew that.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Ross discuss a service called \"JUMBO\" with a U, while Phoebe returns from her first day of work and shares her experiences with Chandler and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Noho. Who doesn't they like me? Phoebe Buffay : Everyone. Except for uh... no everyone. Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like \"Mr. Boss Man\". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, \"Boss Man Bing\". Chandler Bing : I can't belive it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah. They even do you. Chandler Bing : They do me? Phoebe Buffay : You know like... uh okay... uh... 'Could that report be any later?' Chandler Bing : I don't sound like that. Ross Geller : Oh, oh Chandler...", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nChandler Bing and Phoebe Buffay are discussing how people used to like him but now treat him with more respect due to his promotion. Phoebe teases him about his new bossy demeanor, using the nickname \"Mr. Bing\" or \"Boss Man Bing.\" Chandler is surprised and doesn't believe it, but Phoebe insists that people are treating him differently now. Ross Geller joins the conversation and agrees with Phoebe, using a mocking tone when referring to Chandler as \"Could that report be any later?\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh... Yeah, you do. Ross Geller : 'The hills were alive with the sound of music.' Joey Tribbiani : My scones. Joey Tribbiani : 'My scones.' Chandler Bing : Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true. Chandler Bing : That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up! Monica Geller : Did not. Ethan : I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen. Monica Geller : How was that possible? Ethan : Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? Oh, ah. I should go.", "summary": "Ross says a famous line from The Sound of Music. Joey mishears and thinks he said \"My scones.\" Chandler disagrees and argues with Ross. Monica asks Ethan about his belief that Gunpoint was an actual place, and Ethan explains how he misunderstood due to hearing it on the news."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Ethan : Okay. Monica Geller : Unless... Ethan : What? Monica Geller : Uh, ah. Unless you wanna stay over? I mean, I'm going to, so... Ethan : Yeah, I'd really like that. Ethan : Uuh, before we get into any staying-over-stuff, there is something you should know. Monica Geller : Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?' Ethan : Well it's somewhere in between. You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not uh..., well I, I mean I haven't ever uh... Monica Geller : Ethan?", "summary": "Monica suggests staying over at Ethan's place, but he hesitates and reveals that he has a secret."}
-{"dialogues": "Ethan : Yeah? Monica Geller : Are you a virgin? Ethan : Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person. Monica Geller : Really? Ethan : Yeah. You do know I was talking about you, right? Ethan : Wow! Monica Geller : You keep saying that. Ethan : You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that. Monica Geller : Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to. Ethan : Oh god, don't tell me, I did it wrong.", "summary": "Ethan reveals to Monica that he is a virgin and has been waiting for the right person. Monica expresses surprise and shares something personal with Ethan in return."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No-no. Nothing wrong about that. Ethan : Oh. Monica Geller : Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months. Ethan : Huh! Monica Geller : But I figured, you know, that shouldn't change anything. I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are. Ethan : Uh, listen um, as long as we're telling stuff, uh, I have another one for you. I'm a little younger than I said. Monica Geller : You're not a senior? Ethan : Oh, I'm a senior... in High School. Monica Geller : Ok...ay. Monica Geller : What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.", "summary": "Monica and Ethan have a conversation about their ages, with Monica revealing that she is actually 25 and thirteen months old, while Ethan is younger than he previously claimed to be."}
-{"dialogues": "Ethan : I just had sex. Monica Geller : Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me? Ethan : Well, you never told me how old you were. Monica Geller : Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking? Ethan : I wasn't thinking. I was too busy fallin'... Monica Geller : Don't say it. Ethan : ...in love with you. Monica Geller : Really? Ethan : Sorry. Monica Geller : Well,fall out of it. You know, you shouldn't even be here, it's a school night. Oh god, oh god. I'm like those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad. I'm Joan Collins.", "summary": "Ethan had sex but didn't tell Monica. She is upset and Ethan reveals he was thinking about her when it happened. Monica is disappointed and tells him to leave since it's a school night."}
-{"dialogues": "Ethan : Who? Ross Geller : Okay, Andr should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. Just easier that way. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream. Rachel Green : No, forget it. Chandler Bing : Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy? Rachel Green : All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. Joey was there too. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Ross Geller : Was there...uh, huh, huh, huh... andybody, anybody else there. Rachel Green : No. Ross Geller : You're sure? Nobody uh, handed out uh, mints or anything?", "summary": "Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are discussing a dream that Ross had. Rachel reveals that she was also in the dream, along with Joey. Ross asks if anyone else was there, but Rachel insists that it was just the three of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, it was just the three of us. Ross Geller : Huh! Joey Tribbiani : So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler? Rachel Green : You know what? Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : There were times when it wasn't even me. Phoebe Buffay : That is so sweet, you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Mon. Rachel Green : Mon, Ethan called again. Mon? #ALL# : Mon!", "summary": "Ross, Joey, and Rachel discuss a recent conversation they had, with Rachel revealing that there were times when it wasn't even her in the conversation. Phoebe joins in to offer her support and confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Ethan called again. Monica Geller : Oh. Ross Geller : Are you not seeing him anymore? Monica Geller : No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out. Chandler Bing : And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym. Rachel Green : I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah. Monica Geller : Ha,ha, ha, oh my life is just so amusing. Could we drop it now?", "summary": "Rachel's ex-boyfriend Ethan called her, and when she didn't want to talk to him, Monica and Ross tried to help by pretending they had talked to him already. Chandler made a joke about Ethan needing a note to get out of gym class, and Rachel swore that she hadn't said anything to him. Joey asked Ross which Power Ranger is the strongest, and Monica found the whole conversation amusing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sorry. Ross Geller : It's morphin time! Joey Tribbiani : Stegosaurus! Chandler Bing : Tyrannosaurus! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. Cool! Rachel Green : Where are you going? Phoebe Buffay : Um, oh, I've got a birthday party, with some work people. Chandler Bing : Work people? Nobody told me. Phoebe Buffay : No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you-extravaganza. Chandler Bing : You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.", "summary": "Ross says \"Morphin time!\" Joey says \"Stegosaurus!\"; Chandler says \"Tyrannosaurus!\", and Phoebe exclaims, \"Ooh, oh, I've gotta go.\" Rachel asks where Phoebe is going, and Phoebe reveals she has a work party for her birthday. Phoebe notes that her coworkers don't like Chandler, leading to an exchange about how quickly friendships can change."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are. Chandler Bing : You think I should? Phoebe Buffay : I really do, yeah. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss. Chandler Bing : I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory. Phoebe Buffay : You were great. But they still made fun of you. Chandler Bing : What?", "summary": "Chandler is hesitant to hang out with his friends again after being embarrassed at a karaoke night, but Phoebe convinces him to come tonight."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You know, now you're more like, you know like, \"Mr. Caring Boss,\" \"Mr.\", you know, \"I'm one of you, Boss,\" \"Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!\" Chandler Bing : Then, I don't get it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss. Chandler Bing : They do? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore. Chandler Bing : I just wan't to... Phoebe Buffay : No, but you can't. Chandler Bing : But I just wa... Phoebe Buffay : Uh uh. Monica Geller : Aren't you gonna...", "summary": "Chandler is resistant to being called a \"great boss\" by Phoebe and Monica, who acknowledge that he has evolved into a more authoritative figure in their workplace."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it. Joey Tribbiani : What about Andre? Ross Geller : Oh, well this morning he got a call from who I think was our cousin Nathan, and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know. Ethan : Hey. Monica Geller : That was gonna be my opener. Rachel Green : Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom? Ross Geller : I thought that was just a rumour. Rachel Green : True story. Joey Tribbiani : They're here already? Ethan : All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.", "summary": "Carol and Ross have a new system where she punches in 911 for having a baby, while Ross ignores it. Joey receives a call from Nathan, which is more information than he wants to know. Ethan enters the conversation, revealing that he's actually 30 with a wife and job as a Congressman. Monica joins the group, and they discuss new hand dryers in the bathroom, which Ross doubts are real. Ethan confesses his true age and intentions, revealing a connection with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It was. Ethan : Then, what's the problem? Monica Geller : Ethan, it's um... it's icky. Ethan : Icky? You're actually gonna throw this away because it's icky? Monica Geller : This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different, I... If you were a few years older, or if I was a few years younger, or if we lived in biblical times, I would really... Ethan : No, don't say it. Monica Geller : ...love you. Ross Geller : Are you're hands still wet? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, moist, yeah. Rachel Green : Let's dry 'em again.", "summary": "Monica Geller and Ethan have a conversation about a problem with something being \"icky.\" Monica expresses her regret that things are not different and wishes for a different scenario, including being younger or living in biblical times. Ross Geller enters the conversation and asks if Ethan's hands are still wet. Joey Tribbiani joins in and suggests drying their hands again. Rachel Green also contributes to the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Gerston : Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? Hey, Chandler. Santos : Hello, Mr. Bing. Petrie : Loved your Stevie Wonder last night. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock. Santos : Sure. Gerston : No problem. Chandler Bing : You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache? Phoebe Buffay : Petrie. Chandler Bing : Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend. Rachel Green : Oooooooooh. Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!", "summary": "* Gerston and Santos discuss margaritas being too strong\n* Chandler requests the weekly numbers by 9am\n* Petrie compliments Chandler on his Stevie Wonder performance\n* Chandler mentions people working over the weekend\n* Rachel exclaims in response to something Ross said."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross? Ross Geller : I'm here. Rachel Green : You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow! Ross Geller : What? Great, now I'm having a baby. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Ooh, Ooh. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I'm having... I'm having a baby. I'm having a... Where's the phone? The phone? Rachel Green : I don't know where the phone is. Rachel Green : Ross?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find out they are going to have a baby together after a confusing conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm hurt. Ross Geller : Monica, let's go. Come on now people, woman in labor. Chandler Bing : Hey Ross, look what I've got going here. Ross Geller : Yeah, save it for the cab, okay. Ross Geller : What are you doing? We're going to a hospital. Rachel Green : What, so I can't lokk nice? There might be doctors there. Ross Geller : Joey, get out of the fridge. Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right. Ross Geller : What is that? Joey Tribbiani : For the ride.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are on their way to the hospital when Monica goes into labor. Chandler tries to distract Ross with his new discovery, but Ross is more focused on getting Monica to the hospital. Rachel joins them on the journey, concerned about how she'll look in front of the doctors. Joey brings along a surprise for the ride."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, like in a cab... Ross Geller : Save it. Chandler Bing : Okay, hating this. Ross Geller : Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming. Monica Geller : I can't belive it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew. Ross Geller : That's nice. Get out Let's go, come on. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm going. I'm going. Chandler Bing : Here we go, here we go. Rachel Green : Rossy, Rossy. Ross Geller : She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.", "summary": "Monica is going to be an aunt after giving birth to her brother's baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet? Ross Geller : I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug. Joey Tribbiani : Do we have to know about that? Monica Geller : Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby? Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars. Chandler Bing : Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's. Ross Geller : God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab. Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction. Rachel Green : What, it's ok when Chandler does it? Chandler Bing : You have to pick your moments.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are on their way to the hospital as Monica goes into labor with their baby. Joey is uninterested in the details of childbirth, while Chandler makes jokes about the situation. Meanwhile, Rachel tries to calm Ross down and offers her own perspective on the cost of contractions."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Did I miss it, did I miss it? Ross Geller : She's not even here yet. Monica Geller : What's with the guitar? Phoebe Buffay : I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical. Ross Geller : Where the hell have you been? Susan Bunch : We stopped at the gift shop. Carol Willick : I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky. Ross Geller : Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys. Chandler Bing : I used to have that bumper sticker. Chandler Bing : You see what I mean.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are at the hospital waiting room, while Phoebe arrives late and begins to bring musical instruments. Susan announces she stopped at a gift shop with Carol, who wanted a stuffed animal, and Ross reveals they're having a baby. Chandler mentions a bumper sticker he used to have."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Stopped for a Chunky. Carol Willick : Let it go, Ross. Susan Bunch : I got an extra one. You want this? Ross Geller : No. Dr. Franzblau : Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing? Ross Geller : Dr. Franzblau, hi. Dr. Franzblau : So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions? Carol Willick : Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus. Susan Bunch : They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds. Ross Geller : 59 seconds. Quartz, ha.", "summary": "Ross, Carol, and Susan are pregnant and discussing their experiences with contractions. Dr. Franzblau joins the conversation and congratulates them on their impending parenthood, but they reveal that they are nine months pregnant and have already had a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : Swiss quartz, ha, ha. Carol Willick : Am I allowed to drink anything? Dr. Franzblau : Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station. Ross Geller : I'll get it. Susan Bunch : No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back. Ross Geller : I got itI'm getting it! Rachel Green : Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips. Carol Willick : Thanks. Rachel Green : And if you need anything else, I do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate. Dr. Franzblau : It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over who will get the ice chips from the nurses' station, while Carol Willick asks if she can drink anything. Dr. Franzblau intervenes and introduces himself as Rachel's roommate's brother's ex-wife's obstetrician."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, that's funny! Monica Geller : I want a baby. Chandler Bing : Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow. Monica Geller : Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee. Chandler Bing : Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that. Joey Tribbiani : Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too. Lydia : Knick fan? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Lydia : Oh, boy, do they suck. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen, lady.... ...whoa.", "summary": "Monica wants a baby but Chandler is not interested. Monica convinces Chandler to get coffee with her, but he declines. Joey shoots himself in the foot while trying to impress Lydia, who hates the Knicks."}
-{"dialogues": "Lydia : Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? And who do you like? Lydia : The Celtics. Joey Tribbiani : The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright? Lydia : Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah! Joey Tribbiani : Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father! Lydia : There is no father. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, oh, sorry. Lydia : Ok, that's ok. I'm fine. I'm... oh! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.", "summary": "The Celtics are struggling to hit shots and are having a rebuilding year according to Lydia. Joey Tribbiani disagrees and makes fun of them. Lydia becomes upset and the conversation ends with Joey trying to find a \"father\" to help resolve the issue."}
-{"dialogues": "Lydia : Ok. Phoebe Buffay :  Phoebe Buffay : They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch, and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much. Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why, you cry and you cry and you cry. And you cry and you cry and you cry... Phoebe Buffay : Thanks, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah. I'm paying you to stop. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute. Monica Geller : No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two? Chandler Bing : You'll get one. Monica Geller : Oh yeah? When?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends are discussing babies, with Phoebe mentioning how cute and sweet newborns are, but also how they will eventually grow up and resent their parents. Monica expresses jealousy that Chandler's twins get two babies while she only gets one."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one? Monica Geller : Why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically. Monica Geller : Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler Bing : No, no, no. Monica Geller : What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me? Chandler Bing : Uh, uh. Monica Geller : Well? Chandler Bing : Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! Rachel Green : Hey.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica discuss hypothetical scenarios of being single at 40, with Chandler suggesting they get together if neither are married. Monica questions why she wouldn't be married by then, and Chandler awkwardly changes the subject."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress. Monica Geller : Did you go home and change? Rachel Green : Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by? Monica Geller : No, I haven't seen him. Rachel Green : Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. What if the baby needs him? Chandler Bing : Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor? Rachel Green : Yeah, why? Chandler Bing : No reason. Lydia : Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. What do you mean, Joey who? Joey who? Joey Tribbiani : Tribbiani.", "summary": "Rachel is anxious about the baby's doctor visit and has not seen Dr. Franzblau. Monica hasn't seen him either and wonders where he is. Chandler questions Rachel's fascination with doctors, as her father was one. Lydia does not want to call Dr. Franzblau, claiming he's a jerk, and Joey is present."}
-{"dialogues": "Lydia : Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. She wants to talk to you. Take the phone. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, yeah, it's me. Oh, no no no, we're just friends. Yeah, I'm single. 25. An actor. Hello? Lydia : She's not much of a phone person. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know? Lydia : Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, look, maybe I should just go. Lydia : Maybe you should. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck, and uh, take care, huh? Joey Tribbiani : You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team. Lydia : Oh, that is so not true.", "summary": "Lydia wants to talk to Joey on the phone but he insists they're just friends. Joey is single and 25 years old, an actor. He's curious about a possible baby situation but Lydia isn't interested in discussing fatherhood. They have differing opinions on the Boston Celtics, with Lydia disagreeing that the players are running the team."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it is. Lydia : It isn't. Joey Tribbiani : It is. Lydia : Isn't! Ross Geller : Breathe. Susan Bunch : Breathe. Ross Geller : Breathe. Susan Bunch : Breathe. Ross Geller : Breathe. Susan Bunch : Breathe.", "summary": "Ross and Susan try to mediate a disagreement between Joey and Lydia about whether or not something is true."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : You're gonna kill me! Ross Geller : 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12... Carol Willick : Count faster. Susan Bunch : It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie. Ross Geller : Who the hell is Jordie? Susan Bunch : Your son. Ross Geller : No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie. Carol Willick : Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordie. Ross Geller : What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco. Carol Willick : Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp.", "summary": "Ross and Carol argue over their son's name, with Ross insisting it's Jamie and Carol claiming they settled on Jordie."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I got it. Susan Bunch : I got it. Ross Geller : I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps. Susan Bunch : No, you don't. Carol Willick : All right, that's it. I want both of you out. Ross Geller : Why? Susan Bunch : He started it! Ross Geller : No, you started it. Susan Bunch : You did! Carol Willick : I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.", "summary": "Ross and Susan argue over who gets to sleep with Rachel, while Carol tries to remove Ross from her body."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : But... Carol Willick : Now go! Ross Geller : Thanks a lot. Susan Bunch : See what you did. Ross Geller : Yeah, listen... Carol Willick : Out! Nurse Sizemore : Breathe, breathe, breathe... Lydia : Oh, no. Joey Tribbiani : Ew! What is that? Something exploded! Nurse Sizemore : It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?", "summary": "Ross and Carol have a conversation about him leaving, Susan sees what Ross did, Ross thanks Susan, and then Carol tells him to go. Then, Nurse Sizemore tells Lydia to breathe, and Joey reacts to something exploding before finding out that it's just Lydia's water breaking."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking? Nurse Sizemore : Breathe, breathe, breathe. Ross Geller : Please. This is so your fault. Susan Bunch : How, how is this my fault? Ross Geller : Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. Susan Bunch : Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along. Ross Geller : You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady? Susan Bunch : You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me. Ross Geller : Oh, I'm threatened by you? Susan Bunch : Yes.", "summary": "Ross is angry with Carol for throwing him out of a room before Susan came along, and he accuses Susan of being a threat to their friendship."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it! Ross Geller : Yeah, Susan. Phoebe Buffay : Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, who wants to hear something ironic? #ALL# : Help! Ross Geller : I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. Ow. Carol Willick : Are they here yet? Rachel Green : No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok? Carol Willick : Ok. Rachel Green : Ok?", "summary": "Ross and Susan have a baby in Monica and Rachel's apartment, but their fighting distracts Phoebe from congratulating them. Meanwhile, Carol will find her lost children with help from Rachel and Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : Ok. Rachel Green : Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating. Dr. Franzblau : It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. There you go, dear. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's I was justyeah, right. Push! Push! Susan Bunch : What're you gonna do, suck the door open? Ross Geller : Help! Help! Phoebe Buffay : They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next... la la la la la la. Ross Geller : Help! Monica Geller : Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. No, he's gone. No no, you don't have to fly back, really. What do you mean this might be your only chance? Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet. Chandler Bing : Where have you been?", "summary": "Paris pastry shop \ud83c\udf70\ud83d\ude0d Dr. Franzblau shares a delightful story of his recent trip to Paris. Joey tries to motivate Lydia during a game of basketball, using various cheers and encouragements. Meanwhile, Ross finds himself in a precarious situation, while Monica attempts to reassure her mother that everything is fine despite Ross's absence. Chandler returns after being away for some time, and the gang eagerly asks him about his whereabouts."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, just had a baby. Chandler Bing : Mazel tov! Dr. Franzblau : I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone? Rachel Green : No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you? Dr. Franzblau : No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me. Rachel Green : Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors. Dr. Franzblau : No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do. Rachel Green : Oh. Dr. Franzblau : I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do? Rachel Green : I'm a waitress.", "summary": "Joey has a baby and Chandler congratulates him. Dr. Franzblau says the baby could take an hour or three to deliver, but reassures everyone she's doing great. Rachel says she's not currently involved with anyone, and Dr. Franzblau agrees it's hard for doctors to find love due to their demanding work schedules."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Franzblau : Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'... Rachel Green : Yeah. Gotcha. Dr. Franzblau : I'm gonna go check up on your friend. Rachel Green : Ok. That's fine. Lydia : So how did you know I was even here? Guy : Your mom called me. So is this her? Lydia : No, this is a loaner. Guy : I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself. Lydia : I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. So, did you see who won the game? Guy : Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a character named Dr. Franzblau who expresses frustration with seeing too many cups of coffee at home. They then check on a friend named Rachel Green, followed by a mention of Lydia and Guy having a conversation about sports."}
-{"dialogues": "Lydia : Yeah, they're not so bad. Ross Geller : Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you. Susan Bunch : The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have. Ross Geller : No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me? Susan Bunch : You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day. Ross Geller : Every day is Lesbian Lover Day. Phoebe Buffay : This is so great. Ross Geller : You wanna explain that? Phoebe Buffay : I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. I'm sorry, you were fighting. Carol Willick : Where are they?", "summary": "Ross and Susan argue about who will get to care for their soon-to-be-born child, while Phoebe and Carol discuss their own experiences with parenthood."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm sure they'll be here soon. Rachel Green : Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this. Joey Tribbiani : Relax. You're only at nine centimeters. And the baby's at zero station. Chandler Bing : You are really frightening me. Chandler Bing : Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. Uh, that's great. Anybody seen a nipple? Dr. Franzblau : All right, ten centimeters, here we go. Nurse Sizemore : All right, honey, time to start pushing. Carol Willick : But they're not here yet! Dr. Franzblau : I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them. Carol Willick : Oh, god.", "summary": "The group of friends are at a hospital where Monica is in labor with her baby. They are all anxious and trying to pass the time, with Joey making jokes and Chandler becoming increasingly upset. Meanwhile, Dr. Franzblau checks on Monica's progress and prepares her for pushing."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ok, got the vent open. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue! Ross Geller : Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben. Susan Bunch : What do you see? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent. Ross Geller : Phoebs, It's open! It's open! Janitor : Wait! You forgot your legs! #ALL# : Push, push! Ross Geller : We're here! Carol Willick : Where have you been?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discovers a dark vent in a hospital and Ben, a hospital worker, uses his rescue skills to open it. However, they realize they forgot their legs inside the vent."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Long story, honey. Dr. Franzblau : All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need Excuse me, could I have this? Nurse Sizemore : All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go! #ALL# : Good luck! Chandler Bing : Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner? Nurse Sizemore : Out! Dr. Franzblau : All right, he's crowning. Here he comes. Ross Geller : Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this? Carol Willick : Not.... helping! Dr. Franzblau : You're doing great, you're doing fine.", "summary": "Ross delivers a baby boy, and Carol is her lesbian life partner."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hello! Oh, sorry. Susan Bunch : What do you see? What do you see? Ross Geller : We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person. Susan Bunch : Oh, look at that. Carol Willick : What does he look like? Ross Geller : Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o. Carol Willick : Really? Phoebe Buffay : You guys, he's beautiful! Ross Geller : Oh, thanks, Pheebs! Susan Bunch : No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A group of friends are thrilled to see a baby boy they are expecting, and they excitedly discuss his features and compare him to various people they know."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : How 'bout Ben? Susan Bunch : I like Ben. Carol Willick : Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before? Ross Geller : We uh, we just cooked it up. Susan Bunch : That's what we were off doing. Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Can we come in? Ross Geller : I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody. Phoebe Buffay : Susan, he looks just like you.", "summary": "Ben"}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : Thanks. Rachel Green : Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. Chandler Bing : I know, I still am one of these. Monica Geller : Ross, can I? Ross Geller : The head, the head. You gotta... Monica Geller : Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum. Ross Geller : Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. But I'll still always come back, like this. And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. But I'll still always come back, like this. Chandler Bing : And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. Monica Geller : He is so amazing. Rachel Green : Oh, I know. Look at him.", "summary": "Ross has a head injury and can't remember things, including who his wife Monica is. Chandler wants to steal third base in a baseball game."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. Look, he's opening his eyes. Joey Tribbiani : He doesn't do much, does he? Ross Geller : No, this is pretty much it. Rachel Green : You guys wanna get some coffee? #ALL# : Yeah. Ross Geller : All right, I'll see you guys later. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again. Ross Geller : And here's little Ben nodding off... Monica Geller : Awww, look at Aunt Monica's little boy!", "summary": "Ben does not do much, and Phoebe observes him opening and closing his eyes. Ross says he doesn't do much either. Rachel suggests getting coffee, and Ross agrees to see them later. Phoebe then comments on Ben nodding off again."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, he's got Ross's haircut! Rachel Green : Oh, let me see! Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over! Ross Geller : That would be nice. Rachel Green : Pardon? Chandler Bing : Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, right, OK... inlcuding the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars. Joey Tribbiani : I will, really. I'll pay you back this time. Chandler Bing : ... And where's this money coming from? Joey Tribbiani : Well... I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U. Med School with some... research.", "summary": "Ross has a new haircut and people are excited to kiss him. Chandler makes fun of Ross and Joey owes him money from last week's waffles. Joey promises to pay Chandler back but can't explain where the money will come from, claiming he is helping out at N.Y.U. Med School with some research."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What kind of research? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, just, y'know.... science. Ross Geller : Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. Joey Tribbiani : ... It's a fertility study. Monica Geller : Oh, Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars. Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, ooh, you're gonna be making money hand over fist! Monica Geller : OK, we got the cole slaw, we got the buns... Phoebe Buffay : We've got the ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys, ew...", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are preparing for a BBQ, while Joey is doing a fertility study every other day to earn $700."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Men are here. Joey Tribbiani : We make fire. Cook meat. Chandler Bing : Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back. Monica Geller : Ewww! Monica Geller : Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, OK. Phoebe Buffay : So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your special someone? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, she's, uh.... she's pretty great. Monica Geller : Yeah? What does she think of your little science project? Joey Tribbiani : What, you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?", "summary": "Men are here. Joey makes fire and cooks meat. Chandler puts out fire by peeing, causing him to not be invited back. Monica receives a call from Melanie who will be late. Joey is unsure if Melanie likes him. Phoebe asks about Joey's relationship with Melanie. Joey is hesitant to reveal his \"science project\" to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Man's got a point. Joey Tribbiani : Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me. Chandler Bing : Crazy bitch. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean. Monica Geller : Joey... we always know what you mean. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : How long did you think this barbecue was gonna last? Ross Geller : I'm going to China.", "summary": "Monica wants to have sex with Joey but he's in a program and can't do anything personal; Chandler calls her crazy; Joey has a week left in the program and can't have sex with Monica; Phoebe enters and asks how long the barbecue will last."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Jeez, you say one thing, and... Monica Geller : You're going to China? Ross Geller : Yeah, i-it's for the museum. Someone found a bone, we want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone, so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the boit'sit's a whole big bone thing. Anyway, I'm gonna be gone for like, uh... like a week, so, uh, if you wanna reach me, y-you can't. So here's my itinerary . Um... here's a picture of me... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, let me see! Ross Geller : : Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me? Monica Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun. Ross Geller : Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left. Monica Geller : Oh no, she's out having drinks with Carl. Ross Geller : Oh. Hey, who's Carl?", "summary": "Ross is going to China for a museum exhibit and wants to persuade the owners of a bone to give it to them. Phoebe offers to show his itinerary to Ben at Carol's so he doesn't forget him. Monica agrees, but Ross is unaware that Rachel is out having drinks with Carl."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You know, that guy she met at the coffeehouse. Ross Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the... Ross Geller : At the coffeehouse, right. Phoebe Buffay : So you do know who he is! Sorry. Ross Geller : OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, y'know what? Tell them that bone story. Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Monica met a guy at a coffeehouse."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : ....I have to go to China. Joey Tribbiani : The country? Ross Geller : No no, this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront. Do you guys know who Carl is? Chandler Bing : Uh, let's see... Alvin... Simon... Theodore.... no. Ross Geller : Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no! How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!? Chandler Bing : Forget about her. Joey Tribbiani : He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food. Chandler Bing : Course there, they just call it food. Ross Geller : Yeah... I guess. I don'tI don't know. Alright, just... just give her this for me, OK?", "summary": "Ross goes to China, but not the country, as he has a big pile of dishes in his mom's breakfront. He asks Joey and Chandler if they know who Carl is, but they don't. Rachel is having drinks with Carl tonight, which upsets Joey because Ross has never shown interest in her. Chandler tells Joey to move on and forget about Rachel, and Ross gives them a message for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Listen, buddy, we're just looking out for you. Ross Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. Chandler Bing : I'm still on my first. I just think you're nice. Melanie : Anyway, that's when me and my friends started this whole fruit basket business. We call ourselves 'The Three Basketeers.' Joey Tribbiani : Like the three musketeers, only with fruit. Chandler Bing : Ooooh. Monica Geller : OK, how does everybody like their burgers? Rachel Green : Oh, no, no, no. Presents first. Food later. Monica Geller : Hey, hold on there, tiger. How's it going? How you holding up?", "summary": "Joey and Ross are looking out for Chandler's well-being, while Melanie starts a fruit basket business with her friends called \"The Three Basketeers.\" Monica asks about everyone's burgers, but Rachel wants to talk about presents first."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, not so good. She definitely thinks tonight is the night we're gonna... complete the transaction, if you know what I... Joey Tribbiani : Then you do. Heh, heh. Monica Geller : So, uh, have you ever thought about being there for her? Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? Monica Geller : Y'know, just be there for her. Joey Tribbiani : Not following you. Monica Geller : Think about it. Rachel Green : OK, I'm guessing this is from... Rachel Green : Well, thank you, Melanie. Chandler Bing : OK, this one right here is from me.", "summary": "Joey and Monica discuss a transaction that Joey is involved in, while Rachel thanks Melanie for something and Chandler reveals that he is the one who gave her a gift."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : OK... ah, it's light... ...it rattles... it's... Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you! Rachel Green : This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And... ...it's a book! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's Dr. Seuss! Joey Tribbiani : : That book got me through some tough times. Melanie : There is a little child inside this man! Chandler Bing : Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die. Rachel Green : Who's this from? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's Ross's. Rachel Green : Oh... ... Oh my God. He remembered. Phoebe Buffay : Remembered what?", "summary": "Ross has a book inside him that doctors say will kill him if removed, and Joey talks about a book that got him through tough times. Meanwhile, Phoebe thinks it's Dr. Seuss, and Chandler reveals that the book belongs to Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered! Chandler Bing : Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune. Monica Geller : I can't believe he did this. Chandler Bing : Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck? Rachel Green : What did you just say? Chandler Bing : ahem... um... Crystal duck. Rachel Green : No, no, no.... the, um, the... 'love' part? Chandler Bing : F-hah.... flennin.... Rachel Green : Oh.... my God.", "summary": "Ross buys Rachel a vintage pin in an antique store, which reminds her of one her grandmother used to own. Chandler brings up an old college story about Ross falling in love with Carol and buying her a expensive crystal duck. The group is shocked and amused by the revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, no-no-no-no-no.... Joey Tribbiani : That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time. Rachel Green : I mean, this is unbelievable. Phoebe Buffay : I know. This is really, really huge. Chandler Bing : No it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee. Phoebe Buffay : Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again. Chandler Bing : OK, is there a mute button on this woman? Monica Geller : I think this is so great! I mean, you and Ross! D-did you have any idea? Rachel Green : No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... : W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me? Joey Tribbiani : Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are surprised by Ross and Joey's revelation that they are dating. Phoebe and Chandler argue over the size of their lives."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. Chandler Bing : H-He's in China! Joey Tribbiani : The country. Monica Geller : No, no, wait. His flight doesn't leave for another forty-five more minutes. Chandler Bing : What about the time difference? Monica Geller : From here to the airport? Chandler Bing : Yes! You're never gonna make it! Monica Geller : Rachel, what're you gonna say to him? Rachel Green : I-I-I don't know. Chandler Bing : Well then maybe you shouldn't go.", "summary": "Rachel tries to confront Ross after years of no contact but learns he's in China and won't be back for 45 minutes. When Monica suggests she not go, Rachel decides to make the journey despite uncertainty about what to say."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : He's right, cause if you're just gonna, like, break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait. Monica Geller : Yeah, but if it's good news, you should tell him now. Rachel Green : I don't know. Maybe I'll know when I see him. Phoebe Buffay : Here, look, alright, does this help? Rachel Green : Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. Chandler Bing : Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! Ross Geller :  Flight Attendant : Alright! Ross Geller : Ni-chou chi-ma! Rachel Green : Ross! Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me....", "summary": "Rachel cannot wait to tell Ross about her big news and decides to share it with him immediately. Monica advises her to tell him sooner rather than later, while Joey thinks she should wait to avoid breaking his heart. Phoebe offers to help Rachel find the right words, but Rachel is still unsure. Chandler tries to interrupt their conversation, and Ross exclaims \"Ni-chou chi-ma!\" (Japanese for \"I love you!\") before being interrupted by a flight attendant."}
-{"dialogues": "Flight Attendant : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Flight Attendant : May I see your boarding pass? Rachel Green : Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend. Flight Attendant : Oh, oooh. I'm sorry. You are not allowed on the jetway unless you have a boarding pass. Rachel Green : No, I know, but Ihe just went on. He's right there, he's got the blue jacket on, I... can I j-just... Flight Attendant : No no no! Federal regulations! Rachel Green : OK, alright, OK, um... then could you please, uh... just give him a message for me? Please? This is very important. Flight Attendant : Alright. What's the message? Rachel Green : Uh... I don't know.", "summary": "Rachel Green attempts to board a flight without a boarding pass and must convince a flight attendant to let her on the jetway despite federal regulations."}
-{"dialogues": "Flight Attendant : Sir? Sir? Excuse me, sir? Uh... I have a message for you. Man : What? Flight Attendant : It's from Rachel. She said that she loved the present, and she will see you when you get back. Man : : Toby... Oh, for God's sake, I don't know what she's talking about! There's no Rachel! Don't give me that deep freeze. Melanie : Mmmmmm... Oh, Joey, Joey, Joey... I think I blacked out there for a minute! Joey Tribbiani : Heh, heh. It was nothin'. Melanie : Well, now we've gotta find something fun for you! Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh.. y'know what? Forget about me. Let's, uh... let's give you another turn. Melanie : M-Me again? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! Why not?", "summary": "Rachel sends a message to an unnamed man, saying she loves a present he gave her and will see him when he returns. The man denies knowing Rachel and becomes frustrated with the flight attendant's persistence. Meanwhile, Joey and Melanie engage in lighthearted banter before deciding to give Melanie another turn."}
-{"dialogues": "Melanie : Boy, somebody's gonna get a big fruit basket tomorrow. Melanie : Oooh, I gotta tell you... you are nothing like I thought you would be. Joey Tribbiani : How do you mean? Melanie : I don't know, I-I guess I just had you pegged as one of those guys who're always 'me, me, me.' But you... you're a giver. You're like the most generous man I ever met. I mean... you're practically a woman. Monica Geller : Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out? Rachel Green : I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross. Monica Geller : Sure. Rachel Green : I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great. Monica Geller : Oh my God, me too! Oh! Oh, we'd be like friends-in-law! Y'know what the best part is? The best part is that you already know everything about him! I mean, it's like starting on the fifteenth date! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but, y'know, it's... it would be like starting on the fifteenth date.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel contemplate dating each other again after a previous on-again, off-again relationship. Monica and Joey are in favor of the idea, while Phoebe thinks it's like starting from scratch."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Another good point. Phoebe Buffay : No, I mean, I mean, when you're at the fifteenth date, y'know, you're already in a very relationshippy place. Y'know, it's... you're committed. Rachel Green : Huh? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out? Monica Geller : Why isn't it working out? Rachel Green : I don't know... sometimes it doesn't. Monica Geller : Is he not cute enough for you? Rachel Green : No! Monica Geller : Does he not make enough money? Rachel Green : No, I'm just....", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss the challenges of being in a relationship after multiple dates. They wonder what happens if it doesn't work out and how they can tell if someone is not right for them. Rachel joins the conversation and shares her own experiences with relationships."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Maybe there's someone else. Rachel Green : Wha... Monica Geller : Is there? Is there someone else? Rachel Green : No! There is.. there is noone else! Monica Geller : Then why the hell are you dumping my brother?!? Chandler Bing : Hey, big... Joey Tribbiani : Shhhh! Chandler Bing : ...spender. Joey Tribbiani : She's still asleep. Chandler Bing : So how'd it go?", "summary": "Phoebe dumped Rachel's brother, leading to a confrontation with Monica and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed? Chandler Bing : The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me. Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade! Chandler Bing : Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route. Joey Tribbiani : It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level. Chandler Bing : I didn't know you had another level. Joey Tribbiani : I know! Neither did I! Monica Geller : Hey, great skirt! Birthday present? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh, from who?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler have a conversation about their sexual experiences, with Joey revealing that he was unable to perform as usual but found new ways to enjoy himself. Monica joins in and asks about a skirt she saw, leading to a discussion about birthday presents."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : From you. I exchanged the blouse you got me. Monica Geller : Well, it's the thought. Hey, doesn't Ross's flight get in in a couple hours? At gate 27-B? Rachel Green : Uh, yeah. Uh, Monica, y'know, honey, I've been thinking about it and I've decided thisthis whole Ross thing, it's just not a good idea. Monica Geller : Oh, why? Rachel Green : Because, I feel like I wouldn't just be going out with him. I would be going out with all of you. Oh, and there would just be all this pressure, and I don't wanna... Monica Geller : No, no, no, no, no, no pressure, no pressure! Rachel Green : Monica, nothing has even happened yet, and you're already so... Monica Geller : I am not 'so'! OK, I was a teensy bit weird at first, but... I'll be good. I promise. Rachel Green : Who is it? Intercom : It's me, Carl.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss Ross's upcoming flight and whether or not Rachel should go out with him. Rachel is hesitant due to the potential pressure of being in a relationship with all of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : C'mon up. Monica Geller : Behind my brother's back? ... is exactly the kind of crazy thing you won't be hearing from me. Joey Tribbiani : Seven hundred bucks! Chandler Bing : Alright, you did it! Do we have any fruit? Joey Tribbiani : Man, hell of a two weeks, huh? Y'know what, though? I really feel like I learned something. Chandler Bing : Really? So, you're gonna stick with this 'it's all for her' thing? Joey Tribbiani : What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? Carl (Rachel's date) : I'm just sayin', if I see one more picture of Ed Begley, Jr. in that stupid electric car, I'm gonna shoot myself! I mean, don't get me wrong... I'm not against environmental issues per se.... it's just that guy! Ross Geller : I can't believe you'd rather go out with him than me. Rachel Green : Would you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a date here.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica argue over whether or not to reveal information behind someone's back. Joey wins $700 in a bet, while Chandler tries to get fruit from the fridge but can't find any. Joey reflects on what he learned during the past two weeks, while Chandler considers sticking with his \"it's all for her\" mentality. Carl expresses his frustration towards Ed Begley Jr.'s environmental activism, and Ross is hurt that Rachel would rather go out with him than her date."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Fine, just stop thinking about me. Ross Geller : Can't do it, can you? Rachel Green : So I'm thinking about you. So what? Ross Geller : I don't get it. What do you see in this guy, anyway? Rachel Green : Well... he happens to be a very nice... guy.... Carl (Rachel's date) : I mean, come on, buddy, get a real car! Ross Geller : Rachel, come on. Give us a chance. Rachel Green : Ross, it's too hard. Ross Geller : No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade. Rachel Green : Ross, you're like my best friend.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their feelings for each other, with Ross expressing his ongoing love for Rachel since middle school and Rachel being unsure of how to respond. Meanwhile, Carl, Rachel's date, makes an awkward comment about Ross's car, leading to further tension between the three of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I know. Rachel Green : If we broke up, and I lost you... Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think we're gonna break up? Rachel Green : Well, have you been involved with someone where you haven't broken up? Ross Geller : No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me? Rachel Green : I don't know... I mean, I've never looked at you that way before. Ross Geller : Well, start looking. Rachel Green : Wow. Carl (Rachel's date) : Exactly! And you just know I'm gonna be the guy caught behind this hammerhead in traffic! Rachel Green : Right! You're right!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their relationship, with Ross expressing his fear of losing her and Rachel acknowledging that she has never been attracted to him until now."}
-{"dialogues": "Carl (Rachel's date) : Heh... y'know? Rachel Green : You know what? Carl (Rachel's date) : What? Rachel Green : I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry. Carl (Rachel's date) : But... Rachel Green : Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, excuse me, sorry. Hi. Man : For God's sake, will you let it go? There's no Rachel! Ross Geller : Oh, hey, hey, I got that. Julie : Oh, thanks, sweetie. Ross Geller : No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.", "summary": "Rachel forgets to pick up a friend at the airport and must leave her date with Carl to do so. When she returns, she finds that Carl has been talking to Ross and Julie, who are excited to meet Rachel's friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah. Julie : You don't think they'll judge and ridicule me? Ross Geller : No, no, they will. I just... uh... Julie : Can't wait. Ross Geller : Come on, they're gonna love you. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like \"forget about her\" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, \"Oh my god.\" So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been? Rachel Green : Oh my god. Oh my god. Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! Ross Geller : Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you?", "summary": "Ross is in love with Rachel but cannot express it due to various obstacles. Chandler reveals his feelings to Rachel, who then travels to the airport to greet Ross upon his return from a dig in China. However, Ross emerges from the plane with another woman, causing chaos and confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It was, it was great. Oh, what happened? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : You're bleeding. Rachel Green : I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. Ross Geller : Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel. Rachel Green : These are, these aren't for you. These are for you. Welcome to our country. Julie : Thank you. I'm from New York. Rachel Green : Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok. Chandler Bing : No way! Monica Geller : I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find each other at the airport after a long separation, but Rachel starts bleeding from her head. They exchange some awkward words before introducing Rachel to Julie, who is also visiting from New York. Chandler reveals that he thinks Monica will reconcile with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge? Joey Tribbiani : Um, this? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Monica Geller : Guys, you got your hair cut. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause, you know, if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice. Rachel Green : Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp. Chandler Bing : Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs. Rachel Green : You, you, you said he liked me. You, you slowpokes! Ross Geller : That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?", "summary": "Monica gets her hair cut and the friends discuss how important it is to look good. They then go on to talk about airports, cramps, and verbs."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What up?! Ross Geller : Everyone, this is Julie. Rachel Green : Julie. #ALL# : Ohh. Hi! Julie : Hi, but I'm not here, you haven't met me. I'll make a much better first impression tomorrow when I don't have 20 hours of cab and plane on me. Ross Geller : And bus. Julie : Oh my god. Ross Geller : The screaming guy? Julie : And the spitting? Ross Geller : You gotta hear this story.", "summary": "Ross introduces Julie to the group, but she is not present and will make a better first impression tomorrow after a long journey. Ross shares a funny story about Julie's arrival, including a screaming passenger and spitting."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie : We're on this bus, that's easily 200 years old... Ross Geller : 200 at least. Julie : ...and this guy... Rachel Green : And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about. Monica Geller : This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen? Julie : Well, Ross and I were in grad school together. Ross Geller : But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig. Rachel Green : Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? Monica Geller : It's an expression. Ross Geller : Well, we just wanted to say a quick hi, and then we're gonna go see the baby.", "summary": "Ross and Julie run into each other at an ancient bus, where they discover that Julie is in charge of a dig in China where Ross will be working with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie : And then we've gotta get some sleep. Ross Geller : Yeah, it's really 6:00 tomorrow night our time. Chandler Bing : Well, listen, don't tell us what's gonna happen though, 'cause I like to be surprised. Rachel Green : Bye. Ross Geller : Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure. Ross Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Hey, Rach, can I get... Rachel Green : Did you talk to him? Chandler Bing : Not yet.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross plan to stay up late, while Chandler wants to be surprised about tomorrow's events. Rachel offers Ross coffee before he thanks her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Then, no. Chandler Bing : So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know. Ross Geller : I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was? Chandler Bing : God? Ross Geller : It was you, pal. Chandler Bing : Well, maybe it was God, doing me. Ross Geller : Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you. Chandler Bing : Well, you owe me one, big guy. Rachel Green : Here's your lemonade. Ross Geller : I didn't order lemonade.", "summary": "Ross meets Julie and starts dating her, but he still has feelings for Rachel. Chandler helps Ross see that he was right to move on from Rachel and finds a new love interest."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that. Ross Geller : But... Rachel Green : Go-go-go-go, come on! So uh, what did you find out? Chandler Bing : He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever. Rachel Green : How is that the silver lining? Chandler Bing : You have to really wanna see it. Ross Geller : Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym. Monica Geller : Pheebes, you know what I'm thinking? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it? Monica Geller : No, although now that's what I'm thinking.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discover that their friends were picked last in gym class. Meanwhile, Rachel and Monica argue over a returned item."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, so what were you thinking? Monica Geller : Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! No. Monica Geller : Why not? Phoebe Buffay : Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak. Monica Geller : No you're not. Phoebe Buffay : I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. Ross Geller : Hello? Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi. Anybody know a good tailor?", "summary": "Phoebe gives Monica a haircut, and Monica suggests Phoebe could cut her hair too. Phoebe declines due to being anal and controlling. Joey takes the phone call from Julie while Chandler seeks out a tailor."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Needs some clothes altered? Chandler Bing : No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk. Joey Tribbiani : Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. All right, when was 1990? Chandler Bing : Okay. You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance! Ross Geller : Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. Well you didn't hang up either. Rachel Green : She didn't hang up either! Ross Geller : Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y... Rachel Green : Sorry, I thought you were talking to me. Ross Geller : Rachel! I'll just call her back. Rachel Green : Okay!", "summary": "Chandler needs a man to draw on him with chalk, but Joey recommends going to Frankie instead. Joey and Chandler argue about when they were 15 or 16. Ross interrupts and tells them to stop using Q-tips when there's resistance. Rachel joins the conversation and mistakes a call for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... Rachel Green : Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have. Monica Geller : Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too. Rachel Green : I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. I gotta get out of here. Chandler Bing : Ok, I don't care what you guys say, something's bothering her. Joey Tribbiani : You know, I think I was sixteen. Monica Geller : Please, just a little bit off the back. Phoebe Buffay : I'm still on \"no.\" Rachel Green : Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec? Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no, I'm not fallin' for that again.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel rekindle their romance after a week, but Rachel is hesitant due to past heartbreak. Monica supports Ross's efforts, while Chandler suspects something is bothering Rachel. Joey tries to help by pretending to fall asleep, while Phoebe remains skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What's goin' on? Rachel Green : Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night. Chandler Bing : What stupid thing did you do? Paulo : Bon giorno tutti! Phoebe Buffay : Ewww! Rachel Green : Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. Monica Geller : Rachel, how did this happen? Rachel Green : I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night. Phoebe Buffay : Where? Rachel Green : At his apartment. Is this juice?", "summary": "Rachel did something stupid last night and Chandler wants to know what it is. Paulo enters and Monica tells him to get dressed and leave. Phoebe is grossed out by the situation. Rachel explains that she accidentally went to Chandler's apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe? Rachel Green : Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser. Monica Geller : Honey, you're not pathetic, you're sad. Chandler Bing : People do stupid things when they're upset. Monica Geller : My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't..., but this is about your horrible mistake. #ALL# : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching. Paulo : Hey, hey Ross. Ross Geller : Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here? Paulo : I do Raquel.", "summary": "Rachel confesses to Joey that she dumped her ex-boyfriend because he hit on Phoebe, and Monica consoles her. Chandler commiserates with Monica about making mistakes when upset. Meanwhile, Paulo reveals that he has been seeing Raquel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So, uh, he's back. Rachel Green : Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem? Ross Geller : No, not a problem. Rachel Green : Good! I'm glad it's not a problem. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass. Chandler Bing : Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means. Chandler Bing : Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code? Monica Geller : You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Ross's return, while Phoebe and Chandler argue over Chandler's touching of Phoebe's back. Joey mentions a message for Frankie, and Monica comments on her past hairstyle."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I promise. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing. Phoebe Buffay : All right, that's it, I quit. Monica Geller : What? I didn't say anything. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person. Monica Geller : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed. Phoebe Buffay : Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it. Monica Geller : How who wears it? Phoebe Buffay : Demi Moore. Monica Geller : Demi Moore is not a he.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are cutting someone's hair, but Phoebe is not sure if they can trust Monica with the task. Monica apologizes and explains that she misunderstood the conversation. Phoebe becomes frustrated and leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten. Monica Geller : That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oh! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore? Monica Geller : She's the actress that was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she's got gorgeous hair. Monica Geller : I know!", "summary": "Demi Moore stars in several movies, including \"Disclosure,\" \"Indecent Proposal,\" and \"Ghost.\" Phoebe and Monica confuse Dudley Moore with Demi Moore."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : How long do you want the cuffs? Chandler Bing : At least as long as I have the pants. Frank Buffay Jr. : I just got that. Ok, now we'll do your inseam. Rachel Green : How is she? Phoebe Buffay : It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign. Ross Geller : How's the hair? Phoebe Buffay : I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling. Joey Tribbiani : Can we see her? Phoebe Buffay : Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in. Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Rachel is in the hospital after a car accident and the gang visits her. They discuss the length of her hospital stay and Phoebe mentions that she's resting, which is a good sign. However, Ross is concerned about Rachel's hair and Joey wants to see her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : How're you doing? Rachel Green : I'm okay. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, that bad, huh? Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts. Rachel Green : When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me. Joey Tribbiani : You gotta tell Ross how you feel. Rachel Green : Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie? Joey Tribbiani : What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years. Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know.", "summary": "Rachel is depressed and vulnerable after seeing her ex-boyfriend with someone else. Joey senses her emotional state and tries to help her through it by encouraging her to tell Ross how she feels. Rachel is hesitant, fearing hurt feelings or rejection from Ross, who has been pining for her for years."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you. Chandler Bing : Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man! Joey Tribbiani : Frankie? What're you talking about? Ross Geller : Hey, what's goin' on? Chandler Bing : Joey's tailor...took advantage of me. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years. Chandler Bing : Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite... Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Cupping.", "summary": "Ross has concerns about Joey's tailor, who he believes took advantage of Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants? Ross Geller : Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you? Joey Tribbiani : What? That's not? Oh my God. Monica Geller : Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better. Ross Geller : I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. Monica Geller : Thank you. My hair is very amused. Chandler Bing : Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Ross Geller : Well, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Rach. Rachel Green : Wait, are you leaving?", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss how pants are measured, with Ross revealing that inmates use this method in prison. Monica and Chandler make light of the situation, while Phoebe thanks Ross for his explanation. Ross then excuses himself, leaving Rachel wondering if he is leaving."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by \"bye!\" Rachel Green : Well, can I talk to you for a sec? Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test... Chandler Bing : That's ok. Ross Geller : What's goin' on? Rachel Green : Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all , what? Ross Geller : Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot? Rachel Green : No. No-no-no-no. Ross Geller : Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.", "summary": "Rachel confides in Ross about her recent actions and clarifies that she's not back together with Paulo, despite their previous breakup. Ross expresses his dislike for Paulo and advises Rachel to avoid him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking \"Oh my god, I'm with Rachel\". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. Was there a second of all? Rachel Green : No, I think that was the whole all. Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey Tribbiani : I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants. Julie : I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andie McDowell's new haircut? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that. Julie : Really? Phoebe Buffay : You wanna do it right now? Julie : Great!", "summary": "Ross wants Rachel to be with someone who appreciates her and makes her feel good, like he does with Julie. Joey misunderstands Ross's comment and thinks he's talking about pants. Julie suggests cutting Rachel's hair like Andie McDowell's new haircut, and Phoebe offers to do it right away."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right? Rachel Green : No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you. Rachel Green : You're welcome. Monica Geller : Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him? Susan Bunch : Oh, is he hungry already? Carol Willick : I guess so. Chandler Bing : You know, it's... something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta get one, too.", "summary": "Andie McDowell is confused with Rodney McDowell and is mistaken for the actor from Planet of the Apes, while Ben grows out of expensive clothes in 20 minutes. Monica buys expensive clothes despite knowing they will not last, Susan wonders if Ben is hungry, Carol suggests he is, Chandler goes to get a sneaker, and Joey also wants one."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What are you guys doing? Chandler Bing : We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle? Ross Geller : Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it. Ross Geller : This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on. Ross Geller : Carol? Chandler Bing : Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding? Carol Willick : Sure. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, does it hurt? Carol Willick : It did at first, but not anymore.", "summary": "Ross has his son at a coffee shop and brings him to hang out with his friends. Chandler and Joey tease Ross about having a baby sucking on a spoon, but Ross defends his son and asks them to be respectful. Carol enters the conversation and Joey asks her about breastfeeding, which she confirms is not painful anymore."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Chandler Bing : So, uh, how often can you do it? Carol Willick : As much as he needs. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger? Julie : Rachel, do you have any muffins left? Rachel Green : Yeah, I forget which ones. Julie : Oh, you're busy, that's ok, I'll get it. Anybody else want one? #ALL# : No thanks. Julie : Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. Rachel Green : Thank you. What a bitch.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss how often they can \"do it,\" while Carol willingly offers her consent. Joey asks an awkward question about blowing into one and making the other bigger. Julie offers muffins to the group, but nobody wants any. Rachel complains about losing her apron and thanks Julie for getting it."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie : Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it? Phoebe Buffay : I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet. Monica Geller : Ok, um, I'll go with you. Julie : Great. Ross Geller : Hi, honey. Chandler Bing : Hey, sweetums. Ross Geller : Hello to the rest. #ALL# : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel? Monica Geller : It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?", "summary": "A friend at Bloomingdale's is quitting and wants to abuse their discount, so they invite others to come with them. Monica can't go because she has to take her grandmother to the vet. Ross tries to join in but is ignored. Chandler asks what Monica is doing and she explains that it will be a problem if she goes shopping with Julie."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship. Monica Geller : But I'm... Phoebe Buffay : Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street. Ross Geller : So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow? Monica Geller : Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal. Ross Geller : It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this. Monica Geller : You're welcome. Phoebe Buffay : Woof, woof. Joey Tribbiani : Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Hey Annabelle. Annabelle : Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?", "summary": "Monica and Julie are going shopping together, which Monica tries to downplay as not a big deal despite Chandler's concerns about it being disrespectful to Rachel. Ross is excited about the trip and thanks Monica. Phoebe thinks Julie will kill Monica. Joey talks about a new men's clothing line called Bijan."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Who? Annabelle : Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man. Hombre Man : Hombre? Joey Tribbiani : What's he doin' in my section? Annabelle : I guess he doesn't know. Joey Tribbiani : Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? Hey, how ya doin'? Hombre Man : Mornin'. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory. Hombre Man : Your territory, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Bijan for men?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani, a character who claims to have control over a particular section in a restaurant, and a mysterious man known as \"Hombre Man\" who enters his territory without knowing it. Joey tries to assert his dominance over Hombre Man, but the two end up engaging in small talk instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Guy : No thanks. Hombre Man : Hombre? Guy : Yeah. All right. Hombre Man : You were saying? Monica Geller : Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : We were shopping, and we had lunch. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, all right. What did I have? Monica Geller : You had a salad. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.", "summary": "Guy rejects Hombre Man's offer. Hombre Man and Guy engage in conversation. Monica Geller and Phoebe Buffay discuss their previous activity, including shopping and having lunch."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey, guys, what's up. Phoebe Buffay : I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad. Rachel Green : Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy? Phoebe Buffay : Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur. Rachel Green : You went shopping for fur? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, uh, boobs. Rachel Green : You bought boobs? Phoebe Buffay : Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras. Joey Tribbiani : Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Bijan for... Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee. Annabelle : Oh, actually I sorta have plans.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe go shopping for fur but change their minds when they realize they're against it. They then purchase bras instead. Joey asks Annabelle out on coffee after work, but she has other plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Hombre Man : Ready, Annabelle? Annabelle : You bet. Maybe some other time? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. Bijan for men? Bijan for men?! Carol Willick : Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep. Ross Geller : Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son. Susan Bunch : Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person. Rachel Green : Oh, this is so cute. Susan Bunch : Oh, I got that for him. Ross Geller : My mommies love me. That's clever. Monica Geller : Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju Hi, Jew! Uh huh? Uh huh? Ok. Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye.", "summary": "A group of friends hang out and play together, with Ross trying to bond with a young boy named Funny Clown. Meanwhile, Rachel and Susan interact with each other in a humorous way."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Did you just say Hi, Jew? Monica Geller : Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith. Phoebe Buffay : Ben, dinner! Ross Geller : Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that. Phoebe Buffay : Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. Chandler Bing : What did you just do? Phoebe Buffay : I licked my arm, what? Ross Geller : It's breast milk. Phoebe Buffay : So? Rachel Green : Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.", "summary": "Phoebe accidentally licks her arm and assumes it is breast milk, leading to confusion among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What is the big deal? Chandler Bing : What did you just do? Ross Geller : Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk? Phoebe Buffay : You won't even taste it? Ross Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Not even if you just pretend that it's milk? Ross Geller : Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it. Monica Geller : Hey, where is everybody? Rachel Green : They took Ben to the park. Where've you been? Monica Geller : Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss drinking breast milk, while Chandler reveals something he did. Monica returns from an errand and Joey wonders where everyone is. Rachel joins and mentions that Ben is at the park with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. Here are your keys, hon. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars? Monica Geller : You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card. Rachel Green : And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket? Monica Geller : That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent. Rachel Green : Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with? Monica Geller : Judy. Rachel Green : Who? Monica Geller : Julie.", "summary": "Monica borrows Rachel's car and spends $53 on lunch alone. When Rachel asks how much it cost, Monica suspects her credit card was stolen and someone put the receipt back in her pocket."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Jody! Rachel Green : You were with Julie? Monica Geller : Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh my God. Monica Geller : Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me. Rachel Green : Yeah, right. Sure! Monica Geller : Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out! Rachel Green : Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. Monica Geller : That is not true!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica have a conversation about Jody, with Monica admitting that she was with Julie, but claiming it didn't mean anything to her. Rachel is shocked and angry, accusing Monica of wanting to get caught."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here? Monica Geller : Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid? Rachel Green : Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. Monica Geller : Hi, who's this? Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? No, I don't care what Steve thinks. Hi, Steve. Carol Willick : Hey! Carol Willick : How did we do? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out. Ross Geller : I did not freak out. Carol Willick : Why'd you freak out? Ross Geller : Because it's breast milk. It's gross.", "summary": "Rachel accidentally left her purse at Monica's apartment, leading to a confrontation about Monica's past actions. Joanne calls, and Monica becomes defensive. Meanwhile, Phoebe tastes Ben's milk and Ross freaks out, denying it."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : My breast milk is gross? Susan Bunch : This should be fun. Ross Geller : No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults. Chandler Bing : Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike. Carol Willick : Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. Ross Geller : That would be no. Phoebe Buffay : Come on. It doesn't taste bad. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sorta like, uh... Susan Bunch : Cantaloupe juice. Joey Tribbiani : Exactly.", "summary": "Carol Willick expresses discomfort with her breast milk, leading to a debate among the group. Ross Geller rejects the idea of adults consuming breast milk, while Chandler Bing suggests that the packaging could appeal to both kids and adults. Carol Willick tastes her own milk and finds it unremarkable, prompting Phoebe Buffay to try it as well. Joey Tribbiani likenesses the taste to cantaloupe juice, while Susan Bunch compares it to a sweet, fruity flavor."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You've tasted it? You've tasted it. Susan Bunch : Uh huh. Ross Geller : Oh, you've tasted it. Susan Bunch : You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true. Ross Geller : Gimme the bottle. Gimme the towel. Chandler Bing : Howdy. Joey Tribbiani : Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre. Chandler Bing : Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed. Joey Tribbiani : Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day. Chandler Bing : What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.", "summary": "Ross tastes something and Susan confirms it. Ross wants the bottle and towel. Chandler and Joey arrive and Chandler makes a comment about Joey's clothing. Joey mentions that he is being switched to \"Hombre.\" Chandler suggests that it may be because of how Joey is dressed, and Joey replies that it could also be due to the fact that one person on the show is doing well and they want to add more people."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese. Chandler Bing : All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I guess you're right. Chandler Bing : You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna do it. Chandler Bing : All right. Now go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker. Monica Geller : I don't know what else to say. Rachel Green : Well that works out good, because I'm not listening. Monica Geller : I feel terrible, I really do. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani considers leaving his cheese-serving job due to competition, but Chandler Bing convinces him to stand his ground and prove he's the best."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rachel, say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible? Rachel Green : Yes. Monica Geller : It's that terrible? Rachel Green : Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually , but now she's actually stealing you. Monica Geller : Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you. Rachel Green : I love you too. Phoebe Buffay : You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. Oh, I really needed that. Monica Geller : Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me? Rachel Green : I'd do anything for you, you know that. Monica Geller : I'd do anything for you.", "summary": "Monica tries to convince Rachel that it's not a big deal that she's friends with Julie, but Rachel is still hurt and upset about the situation. Phoebe joins in and tries to offer her support, but Monica and Rachel continue to argue. Eventually, Monica asks Rachel to give Julie a chance and try to see things from her perspective."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, wait, wait! Joey Tribbiani : Mornin'. I said, mornin'. Hombre Man : I heard ya. Store Guy : All right, everybody, I'm openin' the doors. You boys ready? Hombre Man : Ready. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I'm ready. Customer : You idiot, you stupid cowboy, you blinded me, I'm suing! Store Guy : Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do? Hombre Man : I'm sorry. I am such a doofus. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Annabelle : My god, what happened?", "summary": "A customer gets blinded by Hombre Man and sues him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now? Annabelle : Sure. Julie : So. Rachel Green : So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right? Julie : I know, I probably shouldn't even tell you this, but I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you. Rachel Green : Really? Me? Julie : Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't. Rachel Green : Well, you're not totally paranoid. Julie : Oy. Rachel Green : Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.", "summary": "Rachel Green invites Annabelle to hang out, but Annabelle feels intimidated by her. Rachel reveals that she struggled with jealousy when Ross started dating Annabelle."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie : Thanks. Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something? Rachel Green : Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it. Julie : I'd love it too. Shoot, I gotta go. So, I'll talk to you later. Rachel Green : All right, Julie. Julie : Bye. Rachel Green : Bye. What a manipulative bitch. Ross Geller : That's not bad. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : So how was Joan? Chandler Bing : I broke up with her.", "summary": "Julie invites Rachel to go to a movie together, and they agree to do so. However, Julie suddenly has to leave, and the conversation ends abruptly. Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler discuss Joan, and Chandler reveals that he broke up with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them. Rachel Green : Come on, they were not that huge. Chandler Bing : I'm tellin' you, she leaned back, I could see her brain. Monica Geller : How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things? Joey Tribbiani : Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts. Chandler Bing : You or me? Ross Geller : I got it. Uh, Joey, women don't have Adam's apples. Joey Tribbiani : You guys are messin' with me, right? #ALL# : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, \"whoa.\"", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Joey argue over how large Rachel's eyes are, while Monica criticizes Chandler for rejecting women based on superficial qualities. Ross explains that women do not have Adam's apples, and the group jokes about the topic."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason. Chandler Bing : Maureen Rosilla. Ross Geller : Not hating Yanni is not a real reason. Monica Geller : Hello, Mr. Heckles. Mr. Heckles : You're doing it again. Monica Geller : We're not doing anything. Mr. Heckles : You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds. Rachel Green : You don't have birds. Mr. Heckles : I could have birds. Monica Geller : Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.", "summary": "Chandler reveals he broke up with Maureen for a real reason, while Ross argues that not hating Yanni doesn't count as a reason. Monica greets Mr. Heckles and tries to keep the noise down when he complains about their stomping."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Heckles : Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party. Rachel Green : All right, bye-bye. Chandler Bing : Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky. Ross Geller : We'll give you Janice. Phoebe Buffay : I miss Janice though. \"Hello, Chandler Bing.\" Rachel Green : \"Oh, my, god.\" Joey Tribbiani : \"Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!\" Monica Geller : Stop with the broom, we're not making noise. Rachel Green : We won. We won! Monica Geller : Mr. Heckles.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel win a bet against Chandler and Janice, leading to a confrontation between Chandler and Ross. Meanwhile, Phoebe misses Janice and Joey tries to calm Chandler down."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : How did this happen? Mr. Treeger : He musta been sweepin'. They found a broom in his hand. Monica Geller : That's terrible. Mr. Treeger : I know. I was sweepin' yesterday. It coulda been me. Ross Geller : Sure, sweepin'. You never know. Mr. Treeger : You never know. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles! Chandler Bing : Ok, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true. Joey Tribbiani : Such as?", "summary": "Mr. Heckles died after being hit by a broom while sweeping outside his apartment building."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Like crop circles, or the Bermuda triangle, or evolution? Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution? Phoebe Buffay : Nah. Not really. Ross Geller : You don't believe in evolution? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy. Ross Geller : Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, too easy? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I just don't buy it. Ross Geller : Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, don't get me started on gravity. Ross Geller : You uh, you don't believe in gravity?", "summary": "Phoebe and Ross discuss evolution, with Phoebe expressing skepticism towards the idea. Ross argues that evolution is a scientific fact, while Phoebe finds it too easy to believe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed. Chandler Bing : Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed. Mr. Treeger : There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you. Monica Geller : What can we do for you? Buddy Boyles : All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to \"the noisy girls in the apartment above mine\". Monica Geller : Well, what about his family? Buddy Boyles : He didn't have any. Rachel Green : Ok, so let's talk money. Buddy Boyles : All right, there was none. Let's talk signing. You be noisy girl number one, you be noisy girl number two. Monica Geller : I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!", "summary": "Mr. Boyle leaves all his possessions to the \"noisy girls\" in the apartment above his. Monica and Rachel are surprised to learn that he had no family, and they discuss the lack of money and signing of documents related to his will. The friends realize that despite thinking Mr. Boyle hated them, he actually touched their lives without even knowing it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Have you ever seen so much crap? Chandler Bing : Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap Joey Tribbiani : Check this out. Can I have this? Ross Geller : How can you not believe in evolution? Phoebe Buffay : Just don't. Look at this funky shirt! Ross Geller : Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time. Phoebe Buffay : Really? You can actually see it? Ross Geller : You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over. Phoebe Buffay : See, I didn't know that. Ross Geller : Well, there you go.", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler argue over an apartment filled with clutter. Joey tries to take something without permission. Ross discusses evolution with Phoebe, who is skeptical despite his extensive knowledge of the subject."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why? Chandler Bing : Hey, look at this. \"My Big Book of Grievances.\" Joey Tribbiani : Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too. Chandler Bing : April 18th, excessive noise. Italian guy's gay roommate comes home with the dry-cleaning. Well that's excellent. Rachel Green : Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this. Monica Geller : Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps. Rachel Green : What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool. Monica Geller : It doesn't go with any of my stuff. Rachel Green : Well, what about my stuff? Monica Geller : You don't have any stuff.", "summary": "The group discovers a mysterious book of grievances and a date between an Italian guy and his roommate leads to excessive noise. Rachel wants a tacky lamp while Monica is against it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You still think of it as your apartment, don't you? Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room. Monica Geller : Mmmmm. Rachel Green : Ok, while you \"mmm\" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp. Ross Geller : Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts. Ross Geller : Please tell me you're joking. Phoebe Buffay : Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't. Ross Geller : No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because--", "summary": "Rachel and Monica have a conversation about the apartment, with Rachel insisting that Monica thinks of it as her own space and Monica disagreeing. Meanwhile, Ross tries to explain the evolution of opposable thumbs to Phoebe, who offers a humorous explanation involving spacecraft steering."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope. Ross Geller : Is there blood coming out of my ears? Joey Tribbiani : Check it out, check it out. Heckles' high school yearbook. Chandler Bing : Wow, he looks so normal. Phoebe Buffay : He's even kind of cute. Joey Tribbiani : \"Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school. Chandler Bing : Funniest? Heckles? Joey Tribbiani : That's what it says. Chandler Bing : Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that? Phoebe Buffay : I'd call that excessive.", "summary": "Ross is under scrutiny after a conversation about his need to make everyone agree with him. Joey finds an old yearbook photo of Heckles, who was known for being funny in school. Chandler and Joey reminisce about their own high school days and how they were also voted class clowns. Phoebe is skeptical of Ross's motives and thinks he may be excessive in his need to agree with others."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Whoa! Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. And he was in the scale modeler's club, and I was, well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool. Joey Tribbiani : So, you were both dorks. Big deal. Chandler Bing : I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off? Joey Tribbiani : Have you been here all night? Chandler Bing : Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, Heckles was a nut case. Chandler Bing : Our trains are on the same track, ok? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. Come on, I'll buy you breakfast, let's go.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey reminisce about their shared friend Heckles, who was a social outcast in high school. Chandler believes he will end up alone like Heckles, as they are both socially awkward and unpopular. Joey tries to comfort Chandler by offering to take him out for breakfast, but Chandler remains melancholic about his prospects for the future."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it \"supposably\"? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody. Chandler Bing : How do you know that? How? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out. Chandler Bing : You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I understand. Joey Tribbiani : You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. Every year, all right? Chandler Bing : You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man. Joey Tribbiani : Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.", "summary": "Chandler fears he will be left alone without a partner, and Joey tries to reassure him that he'll find someone. Chandler expresses his concerns about being invited over for holidays when his friends get married. Joey agrees to invite him over for the Super Bowl every year."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hi, it's me. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, my, god. Phoebe Buffay : Janice? You called Janice? Chandler Bing : Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend? Ross Geller : You remember Janice, right? Chandler Bing : Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody. Janice Litman Goralnik : Helloo!! Chandler Bing : Oh, my, god! Joey Tribbiani : Geez, look how fat she got. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hey, it's everybody.", "summary": "Chandler wants to reconnect with his ex-girlfriend Janice, but she is difficult for him to comprehend. Ross reminds Chandler that he used to date Janice too. Janice suddenly appears and greets everyone, looking heavier than before."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Janice, you're-- Janice Litman Goralnik : Yes, I am. Chandler Bing : Is it--? Janice Litman Goralnik : Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now. Chandler Bing : Congratulations. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : You couldn't have told me about this on the phone? Janice Litman Goralnik : And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun. Monica Geller : Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while? Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Janice is married and reveals this information to Chandler, who was hoping to ask her out. Janice teases Chandler and Monica plays a game with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hide the Lamp. Rachel Green : Monica, let it go. Monica Geller : Did you know I was allergic to shellfish? Rachel Green : Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man. Ross Geller : Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities. Ross Geller : It's the only possibility, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this? Ross Geller : There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility.", "summary": "Monica Geller and Rachel Green are discussing Monica's allergy to shellfish, while Phoebe Buffay enters with Scary Scientist Man (Ross Geller). Ross shares his knowledge of fossils and evolution, to which Phoebe remains skeptical. The conversation highlights the tension between scientific facts and open-mindedness."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you caved. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry? Rachel Green : I am. Let me just get my coat. Monica Geller : Ok, all right. It was an accident, I swear, all right. I was putting on my jacket, and the thing, and the lamp, and it broke. Rachel Green : Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and then, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken? Monica Geller : Phoebe, tell her! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you. Rachel Green : Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp. Chandler Bing : Neat. I'm gonna die alone.", "summary": "Ross caves to his beliefs and Monica accidentally breaks Rachel's lamp."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, you win. Monica Geller : Chandler, you're not gonna die alone. Chandler Bing : Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake. Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh. Why is that? Chandler Bing : If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, yknow. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. \"Run away from Crazy Snake Man,\" they'll shout! Monica Geller : You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone. Chandler Bing : Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there. Rachel Green : Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with. Monica Geller : You are not a freak. You're a guy. Rachel Green : She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.", "summary": "Chandler Bing struggles with his fear of being alone and dying without a partner. He envisions himself as an old, lonely man with multiple pet snakes. Monica and Rachel try to convince him that he's not alone in his feelings and that there are plenty of great women out there for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different. Chandler Bing : In a bad way? Monica Geller : No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone. Rachel Green : Yeah. You're not gonna end up alone. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone! Monica Geller : You made it! Phoebe Buffay : You're there! Rachel Green : You are ready to make a commitment! Chandler Bing : Whoa! Don't know about that. Rachel Green : What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break?", "summary": "Chandler discovers his desire for intimacy and risks with Monica, Rachel supports him, and Phoebe teases him about Janice."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment. Rachel Green : Thank you. Monica Geller : That's fine. Chandler Bing : Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, uh, you can't recycle yearbooks, can you? Chandler Bing : I'll take that. Joey Tribbiani : You want his yearbook? Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it. Monica Geller : Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell. Rachel Green : It's really not that big!", "summary": "Chandler has a date tomorrow night with Alison from work. Joey wants to know if he can recycle yearbooks. Monica suggests taking a moment to remember Mr. Heckles, who was a pain but still a person. Rachel thinks the apartment is not that big."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Takin' that with you, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Ross Geller : You comin'? Chandler Bing : Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down. Alison : Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see \"Philosopher wanted\"? Chandler Bing : Sure. Rachel Green : Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. It's open you guys. Stranger : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi, hi can I help you? Stranger : Yeah, I'm looking for Phoebe, does she still live here?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are taking something with them. Ross joins them, but Chandler quickly says no. They say goodbye to their grumpy neighbor, Mr. Heckles. Alison complains that her philosophy major is useless, as she never sees job postings for philosophers. Rachel reassures her mother that they live in a safe area and building, despite what the newspaper headlines suggest. A stranger arrives looking for Phoebe, who still lives in the building."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her. Stranger : Great. Uhh, just tell her her husband stopped by. Rachel Green : What? Stranger : Hey, how, how did you do that? Joey Tribbiani : This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card. Monica Geller : I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve. Monica Geller : Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking? Ross Geller : You see, and you thought she'd be judgemental.", "summary": "Rachel receives a message from a stranger asking to deliver a message to her husband, which leads to confusion and unexpected revelations about Phoebe's marital status and Monica's past relationship with Duncan."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend. Monica Geller : Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger. #ALL# : Huuh. Monica Geller : Well, didn't you? Phoebe Buffay : I might have. Monica Geller : I can't believe you didn't tell me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, c'mon, like you tell me everything. Monica Geller : What have I not told you? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace. Rachel Green : What!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller discuss a man who left town, with Phoebe admitting she might have stayed in her pajamas for a month after he left and Monica revealing that she saw Phoebe eat a cheeseburger. Phoebe also reveals that she has kept a secret from Monica about underwear on a telephone pole belonging to Monica from when she had sex with \"Fun Bobby\" on the terrace."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wait a minute, who told you? You are dead meat. Chandler Bing : I didn't know it was a big secret. Monica Geller : Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple. Phoebe Buffay : You have a third nipple? Chandler Bing : You bitch. Ross Geller : Whip it out, whip it out. Chandler Bing : C'mon, there's nothin' to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless. Rachel Green : Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples? Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin. Ross Geller : Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?", "summary": "Monica discovers Chandler's secret and threatens him. Chandler didn't know it was a big deal. Phoebe finds out and teases Chandler. Ross joins in on the fun. Joey makes a mistake about what a nubbin is."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again. #ALL# : Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin. Chandler Bing : Joey was in a porno movie. #ALL# : Huuh. Chandler Bing : If I'm goin' down, I'm takin' everybody with me. Ross Geller : You were in a porno? Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it. Monica Geller : That is wild. Ross Geller : So what's it shaped like? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, is there a hair on it?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey was in a porn movie when he was young, but he couldn't go through with it at the last minute. He ended up fixing the copier instead and found people having sex on it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What happens if you flick it? Ross Geller : So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special? Chandler Bing : Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia. Julie : You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you. Chandler Bing : Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area? Ross Geller : You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know? Rachel Green : Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special. Monica Geller : Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it. Rachel Green : Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it. #ALL# : Woah.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a discussion about third nipples and their cultural significance. Julie claims that in some cultures, having a third nipple is a sign of virility and brings special privileges, including naked dancing women. Chandler questions whether any of these cultures are located in the tri-state area. Ross expresses admiration for Joey's knowledge and Rachel struggles to move on from her feelings for Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Foxy lady. Julie : Where you goin'? Phoebe Buffay : Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan, he's skating tonight at the Garden, he's in the Capades. Joey Tribbiani : The Ice Capades? Chandler Bing : No, no the gravel capades. Yeah, the turns aren't as fast but when Snoopy falls. . . funny. Monica Geller : I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again. Phoebe Buffay : OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me. OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband. Ross Geller : Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here? Chandler Bing : Oh I see, I see, because of the third nipple thing. Ha ha ha ha. . . Ross Geller : OK sweetie, I'll see you later.", "summary": "Phoebe plans to meet her ex-boyfriend Duncan at the Ice Capades and dresses up for him. Joey makes a joke about the \"gravel capades.\" Monica is skeptical of Phoebe's motivations, while Ross runs out of milk and Chandler teases him about his third nipple."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie : See you later Rach. Rachel Green : Bye-bye Julie. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey, c'mon, cut it out. Ross Geller : Hey? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Can I ask you somethin'? Rachel Green : Sure. Ross Geller : Naa.", "summary": "Ross tries to talk to Rachel but she ignores him. Julie says goodbye to Rachel before also leaving."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? C'mon, talk to me. Ross Geller : OK, what's the longest you've been in the relationship before ha, have, having the sex? Rachel Green : Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex? Ross Geller : Technically, huh, no. Rachel Green : Wow. Is it, is it 'cause she's so cold in bed. Or, or is it 'cause she's like, kinda bossy, makes it feel like school? Ross Geller : No, no, she's great and it's not like we haven't done anything. I mean, uh, uh, we, we do plenty of other stuff, lot's of other stuff, like uhh. . . Rachel Green : No, no no no, don't need to know the details. Ross Geller : It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird. Rachel Green : No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think? Ross Geller : What?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss his lack of sexual experience with Julie, leading to them both reflecting on their own past relationships and experiences."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I think it's sexy. Ross Geller : Sexy? Rachel Green : Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex. Ross Geller : No kidding? Rachel Green : Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I'd wait. Ross Geller : You'd wait? Rachel Green : Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I'd wait some more. Ross Geller : Really?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about sex, with Rachel expressing her belief that there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex, and Ross agreeing with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working. Ross Geller : Women really want this? Rachel Green : More than jewelry. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Duncan : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Ta-da. Duncan : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Duncan : Ahh, look at you, you look great. Phoebe Buffay : Do I? Thank you, so do you.", "summary": "Rachel wants to believe that a woman's desire for sex with another man means she's interested in him, while Ross disagrees and thinks it just means she's trying to manipulate him. Meanwhile, Phoebe enters the conversation and starts flirting with Duncan, who is oblivious to her advances."}
-{"dialogues": "Duncan : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice. Duncan : You always said I'd make it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, ya know, I'm kind of spooky that way. Wooo. Duncan : I missed you. I'm gonna get changed. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Duncan : Um, now. Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, right, OK. Ole. Duncan : What? Phoebe Buffay : Um, the matador. Ole, ha ha ha.", "summary": "Duncan and Phoebe have a conversation about his success and her prediction that he would make it big. They reminisce about their past together and Duncan thanks Phoebe for her support."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. Chandler Bing : Uh, Julie. Julie : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright. Ross Geller : Hi everyone. #ALL# : Hi. Ross Geller : I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before. Rachel Green : Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing? Ross Geller : Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey. Rachel Green : What did, what did he say?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler have a conversation about paleontologists on Julie's face, which has since been cleaned. Ross thanks everyone for their talk before, including Rachel, who expresses no problem with going through with the waiting thing. Joey was also talked to, but his response is not specified."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . . Chandler Bing : What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie. Ross Geller : Pop it in. Joey Tribbiani : I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're OK watching a video filled with two nippled people. Rachel Green : Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see. Ross Geller : What's wrong with people having sex? Rachel Green : Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here. Monica Geller : Hell, I wanna see Joey. Julie : So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind. Chandler Bing : OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.", "summary": "Ross is convinced to watch Joey's porn movie by Chandler and Rachel, but Rachel is offended by the content. Monica joins in, and they all have different opinions on the film."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All I say is, she better get the job. Ross Geller : Looks to me like he's the one getting the job. Joey Tribbiani : Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, you know that's bad fo r the paper tray. Chandler Bing : Nice work my friend. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . . Phoebe Buffay : So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday. Duncan : Oh, yeah, um, alright, I kinda need a divorce. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. . .K. How come? Duncan : Umm, actually, I'm getting married again. Phoebe Buffay : What?", "summary": "* Monica Geller and Ross Geller discuss a job opportunity.\n* Joey Tribbiani tries to fix a copier but gets distracted by watching two people have sex.\n* Chandler Bing praises Joey's work.\n* Joey sees Duncan and tries to get his attention, but is blocked by his butt.\n* Phoebe Buffay meets a man named Duncan who is getting a divorce and then learns he is getting married again."}
-{"dialogues": "Duncan : Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight. Phoebe Buffay : Huuh. Duncan : Yeah, I know, I. Phoebe Buffay : I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties. Duncan : I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore. Phoebe Buffay : So how long have you known? Duncan : Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in. Phoebe Buffay : And um, and there's actually a, a woman? Duncan : Her name's Debra. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with?", "summary": "Duncan confesses to Phoebe that he is straight, despite being surrounded by gay friends and feeling pressure to fit in. He reveals that he has been struggling with his sexuality for some time and has recently realized that he is attracted to a woman named Debra."}
-{"dialogues": "Duncan : Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Duncan : But now I know I don't have a choice about this, I was born this way. Phoebe Buffay : I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.' Duncan : I'm, I'm still me. Phoebe Buffay : Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago? Monica Geller : You know, it still smells like monkey in there. Julie : That saves us a conversation. Chandler Bing : Well, listen, this has been great but I'm officially wiped. Joey Tribbiani : Me too, we should get goin'.", "summary": "Duncan reveals that he has always had sexual encounters with women while drunk in college, despite identifying as straight. Phoebe expresses confusion and disappointment at this revelation, which was kept hidden for six years of marriage. Monica mentions an unpleasant odor in the room, while Julie dismisses the conversation. Chandler and Joey excuse themselves, indicating their exhaustion from the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore. Monica Geller : Rachel, that's all we do. Rachel Green : Maybe that's all we do, what about Julie? Julie : What about Julie? Rachel Green : Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything. Julie : Well, that could take a while. Rachel Green : So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie? Chandler Bing : I got the time to get to know Julie. Joey Tribbiani : I got time. Monica Geller : Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? That's fine.", "summary": "Rachel wants to hang out and talk with her friends, but they are all busy. Julie joins them and they start to get to know her better."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like? Julie : Well, in a nutshell. . . Rachel Green : Nah, uh, uh, uh, uh. Phoebe Buffay : So, um, have you told your parents? Duncan : No, but it'll be OK, they're pretty cool, my brother's straight so. . . Phoebe Buffay : Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better. Duncan : I love you Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : So your brother's straigh huh? Seriously. Julie : And my second grade teacher was Ms. Thomas, and my first grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb. Rachel Green : Mrs., Mrs. Gobb?", "summary": "Julie reveals her childhood details to Rachel and Phoebe, including her straight brother Duncan and her teachers Ms. Thomas and Mrs. Cobb."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie : No Cobb, as in cobb salad. Rachel Green : Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad? Chandler Bing : I'm goin' home. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Boy that Julie's a talker, huh? Ross Geller : Goodnight. Rachel Green : So, it's pretty late, you're probably uh, not still planning on. . . Ross Geller : Oh, no no, I am. Rachel Green : Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous? Ross Geller : Um, no, I uh, I have done it before.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Julie's order, while Chandler and Joey exit. Rachel asks Ross about his plans for the night, but he insists he has already done it before."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce? Ross Geller : I uh, I don't know, I guess I'm just gonna see, see what happens. Rachel Green : OK, gook luck. Ross Geller : Wha, uhh, what? Rachel Green : Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from. Ross Geller : OK, now I'm nervous. Rachel Green : Maybe you should put it off. Ross Geller : No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know. Rachel Green : I know, yeah, sorry. Ross Geller : What, it's not your fault.", "summary": "Ross is nervous about asking out a new girl and seeks advice from Rachel, who encourages him to be honest and take things slow."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Rachel Green : And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening. Ross Geller : Ohh. . . Thanks Rach, goodnight. Rachel Green : Ohh, God. Ross Geller : Good morning. Old Woman : Well, somebody got some last night. Ross Geller : Twice.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past experiences with spontaneous romantic moments. Rachel shares her ideal scenario of being caught off guard by a romantic gesture, while Ross reveals that he has already experienced similar moments twice with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Man, I sure miss Julie. Chandler Bing : Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. Ross Geller : You ever figure out what that thing's for? Chandler Bing : No, see, I'm trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I'm always answering the phone, people'll think I don't have a life. My god, Rodrigo never gets pinned. Joey Tribbiani : Here comes the beep, you know what to do. Jade : Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did? Chandler Bing : What? Jade : I got a little drunk...and naked. Chandler Bing : Bob here. Chandler Bing : What've you been up to?", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nRoss and Chandler discuss missing Julie and Chandler tries a new screening method by answering his phone constantly. Joey interrupts and makes a beeping noise. Jade calls an old number looking for Bob and reveals she got drunk and naked. Bob answers the phone and Chandler asks him about his recent activities."}
-{"dialogues": "Jade : Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster. Chandler Bing : Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. I love her. Ross Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : I'm back. Jade : So, are we gonna get together or what? Chandler Bing : Um, absolutely. Uh, how 'bout tomorrow afternoon? Do you know uh, Central Perk in the Village, say, five-ish? Jade : Great, I'll see you then. Chandler Bing : Ok. Ok. Having a phone has finally paid off. Ross Geller : Even though you do do a good Bob impression, I'm thinkin' when she sees you tomorow, she's probably gonna realize, \"hey, you're not Bob.\" Chandler Bing : I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.", "summary": "Chandler and Jade hang out, with Chandler hoping to impress her and potentially start a romantic relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my god. You are pure evil. Chandler Bing : Ok, pure evil, horny and alone. I've done this. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico. #ALL# : Hi, Julie! Rachel Green : Hi, Julie. Chandler Bing : Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday. Phoebe Buffay : Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20? Chandler Bing : Hey, come on, we got the gift, the concert, and the cake. Joey Tribbiani : Do we need a cake? Chandler Bing : Look guys, I know it's a little steep.", "summary": "Ross talks to Julie in New Mexico while Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe discuss owing him money for his birthday; Joey suggests they don't need a cake."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, whoosh! Chandler Bing : But it's Ross. Phoebe Buffay : It's Ross. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler Bing : I'll see you guys later, I gotta go...do a thing. Ross Geller : Ok, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, you're not really gonna go through with this, are you? Chandler Bing : You know, I think I might just. Rachel Green : So uh, what are you guys doing for dinner tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Well I guess I gotta start savin' up for Ross's birthday, so I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies. Phoebe Buffay : Can you believe how much this is gonna cost?", "summary": "Ross plans to do something but Chandler has to leave; Rachel asks what they are doing for dinner that night; Joey says he will have to save up for Ross's birthday and eat dust bunnies instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying \"let's go here, let's go there\". Like we can afford to go here and there. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know? God, and it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this birthday thing, it's for Ross. Joey Tribbiani : For Ross. Rachel Green : For Ross, Ross, Ross. Monica Geller : Oh my god. Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey feel undervalued because their friends make more money than them and always suggest expensive places to go. Monica is at work when Leon, the manager, announces that she got the job as head lunch chef after the previous one was fired."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : If it's not you, this is a horrible story. Monica Geller : Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, someplace nice. How much do you think I can get for my kidney? Ross Geller : I'm tellin' you. You can't do this. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods. Ross Geller : That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness. Chandler Bing : We don't know Bob, ok? We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy. Ross Geller : Go over there and tell that woman the truth. Chandler Bing : All right. Ross Geller : Go.", "summary": "Monica becomes head of purchasing and is celebrated with Ross and Chandler, but Chandler's obsession with finding a new girlfriend leads to conflict with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hi. Jade : Hi. Chandler Bing : Listen, I have to, uh, um, I have to, I have to confess something. Jade : Yes? Chandler Bing : Whoever stood you up is a jerk. Jade : How did you--? Chandler Bing : I don't know. I just had this weird sense. You know, but that's me. I'm weird and sensitive. Tissue? Jade : Thanks. Chandler Bing : No, you keep the pack. I'm all cried out today. Ross Geller : Ok, ok, here is to my sister, the newly-appointed head lunch chef--", "summary": "Chandler confesses to Jade that whoever stood her up is a jerk."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Who is also in charge of purchasing. Ross Geller : Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing-- Monica Geller : Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there. Ross Geller : Uh, lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there. Here's to my little sister-- Monica Geller : Oh, wait, and I got a beeper! Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Phoebe Buffay : Let's see! Ross Geller : That's fine, I'll just wait! Monica Geller : Oh, sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Sorry, sorry.", "summary": "Ross becomes the head lunch chef and also in charge of purchasing, while Monica has her own little desk when Roland is not there. Joey and Phoebe are impressed by Monica's beeper."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Monica! Waiter : Are we ready to order? Rachel Green : Oh, you know what, we haven't even looked yet. Waiter : Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, look at these prices. Rachel Green : Yeah, these are pretty ch-ching. Joey Tribbiani : What are these, like famous chickens? Chandler Bing : Hey, sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Mon. I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade? Ross Geller : Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine? Chandler Bing : Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are at a restaurant, while Ross and Chandler are at the bar. Monica and Rachel order food, but they haven't looked at the menu yet. Phoebe comments on the prices, which are expensive. Joey makes a joke about the chicken dishes being famous. Chandler arrives late and congratulates Monica on her engagement, but he is also with another woman named Jade, who left a message on Ross's machine."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, tell me again, what do I do when Mr. Roper calls? Waiter : Do I dare ask? Monica Geller : Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns. Ross Geller : That sounds great. Same for me. Waiter : And for the gentleman? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper? Waiter : You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss? Rachel Green : Ok, I will have the uh, side salad. Waiter : And what will that be on the side of? Rachel Green : Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water?", "summary": "Mr. Roper calls, Monica orders carpaccio and grilled prawns, Joey gets a Thai chicken pizza without nuts and leeks, and Rachel orders a side salad with her water."}
-{"dialogues": "Waiter : And for you? Phoebe Buffay : Um, I'm gonna have a cup of the cucumber soup, and, um, take care. Chandler Bing : I will have the uh, Cajun catfish. Waiter : Anything else? Chandler Bing : Yes, how 'bout a verse of Killing Me Softly. You're gonna sneeze on my fish, aren't you? Ross Geller : Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks. Rachel Green : Um, everyone? Ross Geller : Oh, you're right, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Ross Geller : Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay.", "summary": "Phoebe orders cucumber soup and takes care. Chandler orders Cajun catfish and sings a song. Waiter asks if anyone else wants anything, and Ross adds that everyone owes $28 including tip. Rachel argues that Monica shouldn't pay since it's her big night, and Joey thanks Ross for pointing that out."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, thank you! Ross Geller : So five of us is, $33.50 apiece. Phoebe Buffay : No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen. Chandler Bing : Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just... Ross Geller : Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal. Phoebe Buffay : Not for you. Monica Geller : All right, what's goin' on? Rachel Green : Ok, look you guys, I really don't want to get into this right now. I think it'll just make everyone uncomfortable. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. All right, fine.", "summary": "Monica Geller is promoted at work and wants to celebrate with her friends at a fancy restaurant. However, when the bill comes, Phoebe Buffay refuses to pay $33.50 for her meal, causing tension among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You can tell us. Ross Geller : Hello, it's us, all right? It'll be fine. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, um, uh, we three feel like, that uh, sometimes you guys don't get that uh, we don't have as much money as you. Monica Geller : Ok. Ross Geller : I hear ya. Chandler Bing : We can talk about that. Phoebe Buffay : Well, then...Let's. Ross Geller : I, I just never think of money as an issue. Rachel Green : That's 'cause you have it.", "summary": "The friends discuss their financial struggles and how they feel like Chandler and Joey don't understand their wealth issues."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's a good point. Chandler Bing : So um, how come you guys haven't talked about this before? Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause it's always somethin', you know, like Monica's new job, or the whole Ross's birthday hoopla. Ross Geller : Wha--? Whoa, hey, I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative--there's gonna be a hoopla? Rachel Green : Basically, there's the thing, and then there's the stuff after the thing. Monica Geller : If it makes anybody feel better, then we can just forget the thing, and we'll just do the gift. Ross Geller : G-gift? The thing's not the gift? Chandler Bing : No, the thing was, we were gonna go see Hootie and the Blowfish. Ross Geller : Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio. Phoebe Buffay : No, now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert.", "summary": "Ross, Chandler, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe discuss a past event (Ross's birthday) and a potential future activity (going to see Hootie and the Blowfish in concert). The group struggles to remember details about the past event and plans for the future activity, leading to confusion and humor."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, look, hey, it's my birthday, and the important thing is that we all be together. Monica Geller : All of us. Chandler Bing : Together. Ross Geller : Not at the concert. Rachel Green : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Chandler Bing : So, the ebola virus. That's gotta suck, huh?", "summary": "Ross wants everyone to be together for his birthday, but they can't attend a concert. Monica and Chandler agree, while Joey and Rachel are hesitant. Phoebe makes a comment about the Ebola virus."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Gee, Monica, what's in the bag? Monica Geller : I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's like a skit. Monica Geller : Why, it's dinner for six. 5 steaks, and an eggplant for Phoebe. Ross Geller : Whoo! Phoebe Buffay : Cool. Monica Geller : Yeah, we switched meat suppliers at work, and the new guys gave me the steaks as sort of a thank-you. Ross Geller : But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope? Chandler Bing : By the way, this didn't seem so dorky in the hall. Ross Geller : Come on.", "summary": "Dinner for six with five steaks and an eggplant, switched meat suppliers at work, new guys gave Monica the steaks as a thank-you, Ross finds an envelope with something inside."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why, it's six tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish! The Blowfish! Monica Geller : It's on us, all right, so don't worry. It's our treat. Phoebe Buffay : So...Thank you. Ross Geller : Could you be less enthused? Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like-- Monica Geller : Like? Joey Tribbiani : Charity. Monica Geller : Charity? Ross Geller : We're just tryin' to do a nice thing here. Rachel Green : Ross, you have to understand that your nice thing makes us feel this big.", "summary": "The group purchases tickets to a Hootie and the Blowfish concert as a gift for Monica. Monica is appreciative, but some members of the group (Ross, Joey, and Rachel) express reservations about the gesture."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Actually, it makes us feel that big. Ross Geller : I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys. Chandler Bing : If you guys feel this big, maybe that's not our fault. Maybe that's just how you feel. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, now you're tellin' us how you feel. Rachel Green : Ok, we never shoulda talked about this. Phoebe Buffay : I'm just gonna pass on the concert, 'cause I'm just not in a very Hootie place right now. Rachel Green : Me neither. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Monica Geller : Guys, we bought the tickets. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.", "summary": "Big feelings and concert dilemmas abound as the gang grapples with their emotions and ticket purchase regret."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why did you look at me when you said that? Monica Geller : Well, I guess now we can't go. Rachel Green : What? Come on, you do what you want to do. Do we always have to do everything together? Monica Geller : You know what? You're right. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. Ross Geller : Fine. Joey Tribbiani : Fine. Chandler Bing : Fine. Rachel Green : Fine. Monica Geller : All right. We're gonna go. It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel decide to go on a trip, but Chandler looks at Monica when she says something, making it impossible for them to go."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Yeah? Ross Geller : Geez! Are you ready? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today. Ross Geller : Whoa! You had sex today? Chandler Bing : Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. I was awesome, ok? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming. Ross Geller : Wow. Chandler Bing : Now I know it's been awhile, but I took it as a good sign. Ross Geller : Still doing the screening thing? Chandler Bing : I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again.", "summary": "Chandler has sex with someone and feels pleased about it, while Ross is surprised and a bit impressed."}
-{"dialogues": "Machine : Here comes the beep, you know what to do. Jade : Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy. Chandler Bing : Bob here. Jade : Oh, hi. Chandler Bing : So, uh, you met someone, huh? Jade : Yes, yes, I did. In fact, I had sex with him 2 hours ago. Chandler Bing : So, uh, how was he? Jade : Eh. Chandler Bing : Eh? Jade : Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name.", "summary": "Jade was hurt when Bob didn't show up and met someone else. She had sex with him 2 hours ago and finds him lacking compared to Bob."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, that makes me feel so good. Jade : It was just so awkward and bumpy. Ross Geller : Bumpy? Chandler Bing : Well, maybe he had some kind of uh, new, cool style, that you're not familiar with. And uh maybe you have to get used to it. Jade : Well there really wasn't much time to get used to it, you know what I mean? Monica Geller : You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this. Ross Geller : Yeah, I know, it's my birthday. We all should be here. Chandler Bing : So, let's go. Ross Geller : Well maybe, you know, maybe we should stay for one song. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.", "summary": "Ross has a birthday party at the coffee shop where Jade and Monica work, but Chandler and Joey make him feel uncomfortable by leaving early."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You know, the guys are probably having a great time. Joey Tribbiani : Come on you guys, one more time. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. One. Joey Tribbiani : Nooo. Monica Geller : That was amazing! Ross Geller : Excellent, that was excellent. Chandler Bing : I can't believe the guys missed this. Ross Geller : What guys? Oh, yeah. Steven Fisher : Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you? Monica Geller : Do I know you?", "summary": "The friends are at the coffee shop, where Joey tries to convince them to go to a strip club with him. Phoebe and Monica are hesitant, but Ross agrees to go along with it. However, when they arrive at the club, they find that the guys are already there and having a great time."}
-{"dialogues": "Steven Fisher : You used to be my babysitter. Monica Geller : Oh my god, little Stevie Fisher? How've you been? Steven Fisher : Good, good, I'm a lawyer now. Monica Geller : You can't be a lawyer. You're eight. Steven Fisher : Listen, it was nice to see you. I gotta run backstage. Monica Geller : Uh, wait, backstage? Steven Fisher : Oh, yeah, my firm represents the band. Ross Geller : Ross. Chandler Bing : Chandler. Steven Fisher : How are you? Look, you guys wanna meet the group? Come on. So, are you one of the ones who fooled around with my dad?", "summary": "Steven Fisher, a former babysitter, runs into Monica Geller at a concert. He reveals that he has become a lawyer and is now representing the band. Monica expresses disbelief that he is a lawyer, as he is only eight years old. Steven explains that he has to go backstage to meet his clients, including the band. Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler try to impress Steven with their witty banter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, you guys. Rachel Green : Happy birthday. Ross Geller : Oh, thank you, thanks. So uh, how was your night last night? Rachel Green : Oh, well, it pretty much sucked. How was yours? Monica Geller : Yeah, ours pretty much sucked, oh, but, I did run into little Stevie Fisher. Remember him? Rachel Green : Oh yeah. I used to babysit him. Hey, how's his dad? Monica Geller : Uh, good. Ross Geller : Uh, aside from that, the whole evening was pretty much a bust. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we really missed you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, look, we were just saying, this whole thing is really stupid.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their night, which was disappointing, while Monica talks about running into a former babysitting client's father, who is doing well. Chandler and Joey dismiss the evening as pointless."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey? Monica Geller : No, I just, I fell down. Rachel Green : On someone's lips? Where'd you get the hickey? Monica Geller : You know, a party, or-- Rachel Green : What party? Ross Geller : It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band. Joey Tribbiani : You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish? Chandler Bing : Yes, apparently Stevie and the band are like this. Rachel Green : Who gave you that hickey? Monica Geller : That would be the work of a Blowfish.", "summary": "Monica got a hickey at a party or gathering with food, music, and a band (including Hootie). Rachel asked who gave it to her, and Monica revealed that it was a Blowfish."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, \"hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck\". Ross Geller : Look, don't blame us. You guys coulda been there, you know. Rachel Green : What, as part of your poor friends outreach program? Monica Geller : It's work. Chandler Bing : I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it. Joey Tribbiani : And we don't work hard? Monica Geller : Yeah, hi, it's Monica. I just got a page. Chandler Bing : I'm just saying that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more. Joey Tribbiani : And you feel like we hold you back.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler go out partying while Rachel and Monica try to guess Joey's fingers at home. Ross feels left out and defensive, leading to a confrontation about their differing lifestyles and financial situations."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes. Rachel Green : Oh! Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : Leon, Leon. Shhh! Guys. Wait, I don't understand. Those steaks were just a gift from the meat vendor. That was not a kick back. I'll just replace them and we can forget the whole thing. What corporate policy? No. Yeah. All right. I just got fired. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Waitress : Here's your check. That'll be $4.12. Joey Tribbiani : Let me get that. You got five bucks? Machine : Here comes the beep, you know what to do. Jade : Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night... Monica Geller : Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?", "summary": "Monica receives a gift of steaks from a meat vendor, but when she realizes they were not a kickback, she offers to replace them. Chandler gets fired and Phoebe tries to help him by offering her $5. A waitress gives Joey his check for $4.12, and he asks if he can pay with a five-dollar bill. Meanwhile, Jade calls Bob from three years ago and tries to convince him to have one night together for old time's sake, but Monica interrupts and teases Chandler about being the \"Wenny-Benny boy.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Let me hold him for a sec. There. Huh? There we are. Monica Geller : Maye it's me. Ross Geller : Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants. Chandler Bing : You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody. Ross Geller : There we go. All better. Monica Geller : There's my little boy. Chandler Bing : Can I uh see something? Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Monica Geller : He hates me. My nephew hates me. Ross Geller : Come on, don't do this.", "summary": "Ross holds Ben for a moment before realizing it's not him. Monica suggests it may be her, but Ross insists it's not. Chandler reveals he once dated a Miss Crankypants, and Joey wants to see something."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then? Chandler Bing : Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat. Joey Tribbiani : Goo, goo, goo, waaah! Monica Geller : That is so funny. Let me see that. Joey Tribbiani : Are you ok, Ross? Ross Geller : I don't know. What's in this pie? Monica Geller : Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi-- Ross Geller : Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie. Monica Geller : No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special. Ross Geller : And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.", "summary": "Monica worries about her future baby hating her, Chandler dismisses her concerns, Joey teases Monica about her potential baby, and Ross accidentally consumes a pie with kiwi, which he's allergic to."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and--oh my god. Ross Geller : Ugh. Monica Geller : Oh my god. Ross Geller : Ugh. It's definitely getting worse. Monica Geller : Is your tongue swelling up? Ross Geller : Either that or my mouth is getting smaller. Monica Geller : All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital. Joey Tribbiani : Is he gonna be ok? Monica Geller : Yeah, he's just gotta get a shot. Ross Geller : You know, you know, actually it's getting better. It is. It is. Let's not go. Anyone for Thcrabble?", "summary": "Ross has an allergic reaction and Monica takes him to the hospital."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Jacket now. Ross Geller : What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital. Chandler Bing : We'll watch him. Ross Geller : I don't think tho. Joey Tribbiani : What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we? Chandler Bing : I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window. Ross Geller : Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag. Joey Tribbiani : Hat, milk, got it. Ross Geller : ??? Thro up a thro thro--a thro thro! Joey Tribbiani : Consider it done.", "summary": "Monica wants to take care of Ben while Ross and Chandler go to the hospital, but Joey offers to watch him instead. Joey has experience taking care of children and agrees to do it, despite Ross's hesitation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You understood that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, my uncle Sal has a really big tongue. Chandler Bing : Is he the one with the beautiful wife? Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower. Rachel Green : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget. Terry : Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see ya for a minute? Rachel Green : What's up? Terry : F.Y.I.. I've decided to pay a professional musician to play in here on Sunday afternoons. Her name is Stephanie... something. She's supposed to be very good. Rachel Green : But what about Phoebe?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey talk about Chandler's uncle Sal having a big tongue, while Phoebe sings a new song she wrote in the shower. Terry interrupts to inform Rachel that he has hired a professional musician, Stephanie, to play on Sunday afternoons instead of Phoebe. Rachel is upset about this decision and wonders what will happen to Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Terry : Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around. Rachel Green : Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her. Terry : Uh-- Rachel Green : Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her? Phoebe Buffay : Lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, as needed. Chandler Bing : You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil? Joey Tribbiani : It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby. Chandler Bing : No, I got him. Joey Tribbiani : No, seriously. Chandler Bing : Oh, seriously you want him?", "summary": "Terry dislikes Rachel's friend and wants to harm her, while Rachel tries to defend her. Phoebe suggests repeating actions to cope, and Chandler brings up babies. Joey thinks the group should aim a baby at a nearby group of women to impress them."}
-{"dialogues": "Caroline : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hello. Caroline : And who is this little cutie pie? Chandler Bing : Well, don't, don't think me immodest, but, me? Joey Tribbiani : You wanna smell him? Caroline : I assume we're talking about the baby now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head. Caroline : I think my uterus just skipped a beat. Joey Tribbiani : What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you? Caroline : I think it's great you guys are doing this.", "summary": "Caroline meets Chandler and Joey at the door, where they are admiring a baby. Caroline is impressed by the baby's cuteness, while Chandler and Joey try to impress her with their flirting skills. The conversation turns to the topic of the baby, with Caroline expressing her enthusiasm for their decision to have a child together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, we are great guys. Caroline : You know, my brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years. What agency did you two go through? Phoebe Buffay : But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk. Rachel Green : Honey, I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top. Rachel Green : Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying \"Terry's a jerk!\" That's where that came from. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, ok. You probably did everything you could. Rachel Green : Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything. Terry : I, I don't know. Rachel Green : Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine.", "summary": "Caroline and Phoebe are discussing adoption, with Caroline revealing that her brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years. Rachel joins the conversation and expresses disappointment in a man named Terry, who she claims is not paying the woman he hired to perform the adoption properly. Rachel offers to let the woman go after Stephanie, a previous speaker, and even offers to clean the cappuccino machine as an incentive."}
-{"dialogues": "Terry : You don't clean the cappuccino machine? Rachel Green : Of course I clean it. I mean, I,I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it. Terry : Oh, all right, fine, fine, fine. Rachel Green : Done. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah. Who's workin' for you babe? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get? Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing. Rachel Green : Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman beause she's a professional.", "summary": "Terry doesn't clean the cappuccino machine, and Rachel says she will clean it. Phoebe is excited to work for the person who is paying them, but Rachel corrects her that it's a professional woman they are paying."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid. Rachel Green : Well, but Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. Thank you! La la la la la la la.... Ross Geller : Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun. Doctor : Hello, there. I'm Dr. Carlin. I see someone's having an allergic reaction. Monica Geller : Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles. Ross Geller : Did you tell him about my thquirt gun idea? Monica Geller : My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally. Doctor : No, under these circumstances it has to be an injection, and it has to be now. Ross Geller : Tho?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay refuses to play at a charity event unless she's paid, while Rachel Green tries to persuade her to change her mind. Meanwhile, Ross Geller has an allergic reaction and requires immediate medical attention, but Monica Geller is hesitant to let him receive an injection due to his phobia."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ohhh. Monica Geller : That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me? Ross Geller : Ok. Monica Geller : Ok. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand! Chandler Bing : That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi, taxi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, look at that talent. Chandler Bing : Just practicing. You're good. Carry on. Girl 1 On Bus : Hey, you. He's just adorable. Chandler Bing : Ok, but can you tell him that, because he thinks he's too pink. Girl 2 On Bus : So what are you guys out doing today?", "summary": "Ross has to get a shot and Monica tries to comfort him, but their efforts only make things worse. Chandler suggests making out in the park to pick up women, while Joey watches and comments on their skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff. Chandler Bing : You done? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Girl 1 : Oh, there's our stop. Joey Tribbiani : Get outta here. This is our stop too. Girl 2 : You guys live around here too? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the uh sidewalk. Chandler Bing : You know it? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, look, since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we uh, get together for a drink? Girl 1 : So uh, you wanna go to Marquel's?", "summary": "Two straight guys hang out with the son of their other friend, doing typical guy stuff. They almost get off at the wrong stop on the bus but realize they also live near each other and invite a girl to join them for drinks at Marquel's."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, sure, they love us over there. Girl 2 : Where's your baby? Chandler Bing : Ben! Ben! Ben! Chandler Bing : Oh, that's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord. Both : Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait! Monica Geller : Are you sure he didn't break it because it really hurts. Doctor : No, it's just a good bone bruise. And, right here is the puncture wound from your ring. Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Sorry. Sorry! Hey! Hey! I got my s's back! Which we can celebrate later. Celebrate. Phoebe Buffay : ... with the double double double-jointed boy. Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. I'm Stephanie.", "summary": "A baby is on a bus, and the driver stops the bus after hearing cries. The baby's parents, Chandler and Monica, are in the back of the bus, and Chandler tries to comfort the baby by saying \"Ben! Ben! Ben!\" The baby starts crying again, and the bus passengers try to calm him down. Ross, who is also on the bus, apologizes for breaking the baby's bone. Phoebe enters the conversation and mentions a double-jointed boy."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Right. My name was on there, but now it just says \"carrot cake\". So, um, so um, how many chords do you know? Stephanie Schiffer : All of them. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, so you know D? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, do you know A minor? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, do you know how to go from D to A minor? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Um, so does your guitar have a strap? Stephanie Schiffer : No.", "summary": "Phoebe and Stephanie discuss music, with Phoebe asking about chords and Stephanie replying that she knows all of them. They exchange questions and answers about specific chords, and Phoebe asks if Stephanie knows how to go from D to A minor. The conversation then shifts to Stephanie's guitar, with Phoebe asking if it has a strap."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Mine does. Stephanie knows all the chords. Chandler Bing : Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again. Rachel Green : Ok, everybody, let's give a uh nice warm Central Perk welcome to-- Phoebe Buffay : Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk! Rachel Green : Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer. Stephanie Schiffer : Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. Zachary. Phoebe Buffay : You're all invited to bite me! Chandler Bing : Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here? Transit Authority Guy : He's here. I'm assuming one of you is the father.", "summary": "A baby is left on a city bus, and the people involved try to figure out what to do next."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's me. Joey Tribbiani : I'm him. Chandler Bing : Actually, uh, we're both the father. Both : Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy! Chandler Bing : Please tell me you know which one is our baby. Joey Tribbiani : Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks. Chandler Bing : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : Or clowns. Oh, oh wait. That one's definitely Ben. Remember, he had that cute little mole by his mouth. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are both the father of a baby named Ben, who wore ducks on his t-shirt or clowns."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, Ben, remember us? Ok, the mole came off. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh! Chandler Bing : What're we gonna do? What're we gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns. Chandler Bing : Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby? Joey Tribbiani : You got a better idea? Chandler Bing : All right, call it in the air. Joey Tribbiani : Heads. Chandler Bing : Heads it is. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Whew!", "summary": "The group remembers a mole incident and debates what to do about it. They eventually decide to flip a coin to determine who gets to keep the baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : We have to assign heads to something. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads. Chandler Bing : What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday? Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi. Rachel Green : Here. I thought you might be cold. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Rachel Green : Whoa, look at you, you did pretty well. Phoebe Buffay : Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better. Rachel Green : Do you?", "summary": "Heads assignment leads to discussion of ducks' heads. Joey suggests ducks as heads due to their having heads. Chandler shares a spooky clown experience from his birthday party. Rachel offers Phoebe money; Phoebe reveals she started the heads assignment to feel better."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang \"Su-Su-Suicide\", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, \"Smelly Cat\", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat. Rachel Green : Well, you know, honey, I don't think everybody gets Smelly Cat. You know, I mean, if all you've ever actually had are healthy pets, then, whoosh! Phoebe Buffay : It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money. Rachel Green : Well, people missed you in there. And in fact, there was actually a request for \"Smelly Cat\". Phoebe Buffay : Really? From who? Rachel Green : Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite. Kid : Hi. Uh, did I accidentally drop a condom in your case? It's kind of an emergency. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Here you go. Kid : Thanks a lot. Hey Christine, I got it! Ross Geller : I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay sings at Central Perk and makes very little money despite her popularity among the customers. Rachel Green admits that she missed Phoebe's singing and even made a request for her song \"Smelly Cat.\" A kid accidentally drops a condom in Phoebe's case, and Ross Geller thanks her for being there for him after almost breaking her hand."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's ok. I'm sorry I poisoned you. Ross Geller : Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand? Monica Geller : Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle? Ross Geller : Oh. Monica Geller : Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin? Ross Geller : Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb? Monica Geller : No. But I remember people telling me about it. Ross Geller : I hope Ben has a little sister. Monica Geller : Yeah. I hope she can kick his ass. Ross Geller : I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?", "summary": "Ross and Monica engage in a series of childhood pranks and memories, including poisoning each other, hitting each other with objects, and cutting off each other's toys. They share a hope for a new sibling to provide a fresh target for their mischief."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That was you? Ross Geller : They, uh, were infected. He wouldn't have made it. Monica Geller : Aw, my little nephew. Come here, little one. There's my little baby Ben. Hey, my little boy. Hey, he's not crying. Chandler Bing : Hey, he's not crying. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! There's still pie. Ross Geller : I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today. Ross Geller : Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt? Chandler Bing : You, you are gonna love this. Ross Geller : Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are discussing their nephew Ben, who rode the bus today. Chandler reveals that Ben's diaper has the label \"Property of Human Services\" on it, causing Ross to ask questions."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Stay back, I've got kiwi. Run, Joey, Run! Stephanie Schiffer : Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no. I'm sorry. It's \"smelly cat, smel-ly cat\". Stephanie Schiffer : Smelly cat, smel-ly cat... Phoebe Buffay : Better. Yeah. Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, much better. And you know what, don't feel bad, because it's a hard song. Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : You wanna try it again? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. From the top?", "summary": "Joey runs from Chandler who has kiwi, while Phoebe and Stephanie sing \"Smelly Cat\" and argue over the correct lyrics."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok, there is no top. That's the beauty of Smelly Cat. Um, why don't you just follow me? Stephanie Schiffer : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : Mmmm hmmm. Together : Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault. Phoebe Buffay : That's too much. Sorry. Chandler Bing : OK, what is it about me? Do I not look fun enough? Is there something. . . repellant. . . about me? Rachel Green : So, how was the party? Chandler Bing : Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive? Phoebe Buffay : No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting. Chandler Bing : Woah, woah, I've put on a little weight?", "summary": "Smelly Cat is a topic of discussion among Phoebe and Stephanie, with Phoebe suggesting they follow her for inspiration. Chandler joins the conversation and shares his own struggles with self-doubt after a woman passed through him at a party. Phoebe reassures him that he is attractive and they both relate to each other's insecurities."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, not wieght... y'know, more like insulation. Monica Geller : Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. Ya wanna work out? I can remake you. Chandler Bing : Oh, you know, I would, but that might get in the way of my lying around time. Monica Geller : Please. #ALL# : C'mon. Let her. Yeah. Chandler Bing : Alright, OK, alright. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm goin' home. Phoebe Buffay : Your boobs are fine. Look, I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here. Oh, can't make.... hands... meet.... Chandler Bing : OK, let's do it. What? Monica Geller : Nothing, just never seen you in little stretchy pants before. Chandler Bing : And we're changing.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica want to work out together but Chandler is hesitant due to his lack of motivation. Phoebe suggests they remodel each other's bodies, but Chandler makes a comment about Monica's boobs being bigger than his. The conversation continues with the group discussing their various body shapes and sizes."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : C'mon give me five more. Five more. Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : Five more and I'll flash you. Chandler Bing : One. . . two. . . two and a half. OK, just show me one of them. Chandler Bing : Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. . She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore. Rachel Green : Hey Phoebs, how'd it go with Scott last night? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, um, it was nice. Took him to a romantic restraunt, ordered champagne, nice. Joey Tribbiani : The guy still won't put out, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Nope. Zilch, nothin', uh-uh. #ALL# : Sorry Phoebs.", "summary": "Monica wants Chandler to give her five more, but he refuses. She threatens to flash him, and he reluctantly shows her one of his \"butt clenches\" at work. Rachel asks Phoebe how her date with Scott went, and Phoebe replies that it was nice, but he still won't put out. Joey jokes about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Look, I, y'know, I don't mind taking it slow, I like him a lot, y'know he's really interesting and he's really sweet and why won't he give it up? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean. Phoebe Buffay : No, whad'ya mean? He's not British. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe he's. . . gay. Phoebe Buffay : Oohh, um, no, I don't think that's the problem. 'Cause we went, um, dancing the other night and the way he held me so close, and the way he was looking into my eyes I just like... definitely felt something. Rachel Green : Yeah, but how much can you tell from a look? Phoebe Buffay : No, I felt it on my hip. You could tell. Monica Geller : Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes. Chandler Bing : Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, oh, Rachel, don't look.", "summary": "Phoebe likes a guy but he won't kiss her. Joey suggests he might be gay, but Phoebe isn't sure. They all go dancing and Phoebe feels a connection with the guy, but Rachel isn't convinced by their hand-holding. Monica interrupts to remind them of a racquetball game, and Chandler jokes about hitting Rachel with Joey's hand."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? C'mon you guys, I don't care, I have a date tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Woah, woah, woah, you have a date? Rachel Green : Yeah, Monica's settin' me up. Joey Tribbiani : But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .? Rachel Green : Oh what, my whole insane jealousy thing? Well, y'know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity. Chandler Bing : So you really OK about all this? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, c'mon, I'm movin' on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing. Ross Geller : Hi guys. #ALL# : Hey. Ross Geller : Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, OK?", "summary": "Rachel has a date tonight, despite her previous jealousy issues with Ross. Chandler is skeptical but supportive. Monica sets Rachel up on a date."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Only if you say his full name. Ross Geller : Can I come over tomorrow and pick up Fluffy Meowington's cat toy. Monica Geller : Alright. Joey Tribbiani : You're getting a cat? Ross Geller : Uh, actually, we're getting a cat. Rachel Green : Together? Ross Geller : Uh huh. Rachel Green : Both of you? Ross Geller : Yep. Rachel Green : Together.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are getting a cat together with Monica and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie : Yeah, we figure it'll live with Ross half the time, and with me half the time. Rachel Green : Ohh, well, isn't that just lovely. That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really, really long time. Ross Geller : Hopefully. Rachel Green : Well. Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave. Michael : I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am. Rachel Green : How long do cats live? Michael : I'm sorry? Rachel Green : Cats, how long do they live figuring you don't... y'know, throw 'em under a bus or something? Michael : Um, maybe 15, 16 years. Rachel Green : That's just great.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are getting a cat, which they will split time with Ross and Joey. Rachel is going on a date with a man after her divorce, and Michael is nervous about it. They discuss how long cats live, with Rachel asking for Monica's input."}
-{"dialogues": "Michael : Um, cheers. Rachel Green : Oh, right, clink. Michael : Monica told you I was cuter that this, didn't she? Rachel Green : Oh, no, Michael, it's not you. I'm sorry, it's just, it's this thing. It's probably not as bad as it sounds but this friend of mine is, is getting a cat with his girlfriend. Michael : Oh, that does sound. . .Ahh. Rachel Green : I mean he just started going out with her. Michael : Is this guy, uhh, an old boyfriend? Rachel Green : Ah, hah-hah-hah-ho, yeah, he wishes. Oh, I'm sorry, look at me. OK, Michael, let's talk about you. Michael : Alright. Rachel Green : OK, OK. So, you ever get a pet with a girlfriend?", "summary": "Michael and Rachel are discussing a friend of theirs who is getting a cat with his girlfriend. Michael wonders if this guy is an old boyfriend of Rachel's. They then switch topics to talking about whether or not they have ever gotten a pet with a girlfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So, I figured it out. Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : Why Scott doesn't want to sleep with me. It's 'cause I'm not sexy enough. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, \"Excellent butt, great rack.\" Phoebe Buffay : Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him. Phoebe Buffay : You're right, you're right. Ah, you are so yumm. Rachel Green : I mean, it's a cat, y'know, it's a cat. Why can't they get one of those bugs, y'know, one of those fruitflies, those things that live for like a day or something? What're they called, what're they called, what're they called? Michael : Fruitflies? Rachel Green : Yes! Thank you.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay figures out why Scott doesn't want to sleep with her and concludes that it's because she's not sexy enough. Joey Tribbiani shares a past comment he made about Phoebe's appearance, which offends her but also makes her feel flattered. The group discusses their pet preferences, with Rachel Green expressing frustration at having a cat instead of a fruitfly that lives for a shorter time."}
-{"dialogues": "Waiter : So, would you like any dessert? Michael : No! No dessert, just a check, please. Rachel Green : Oh, you're not having fun, are you? Michael : No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head. Rachel Green : Oh, look at me, look at me. Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy, all I can think about is Ross and his cat and his... Julie. I just want to get over him. gosh, why can't I do that? Michael : Oy. Look, I've been through a divorce, trust me you're gonna be fine. You just can't see it now because you haven't had any closure. Rachel Green : Yeah! Closure. That's what it is, that's what I need. God, you're brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? How do I get that? Michael : Well, you know, there's no one way really, it's just, you know, whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him, \"I'm over you.\" Rachel Green : Closure, that's what it is. Closure. Hello, excuse me. Excuse me, hel. . . woo Guy : Hang on.", "summary": "Rachel wants closure from her ex-boyfriend Ross and thinks about him instead of her current date with Michael. Michael has been through a divorce and advises Rachel that she needs closure to move on."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hello, excuse me. Guy : What. Rachel Green : Hi, I'm sorry, I need to borrow your phone for just one minute. Guy : I'm talkin'! Rachel Green : I can see that. I... just one phone call, I'll be very quick, I'll even pay for it myself. OK, you're bein' a little weird about your phone. Guy : Alright, fine. I'll call you back. Rachel Green : Thank you. OK. Machine. Just waiting for the beep. Michael : Good. Rachel Green : Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. Chandler Bing : No, no, no, no, no, no No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday.", "summary": "Rachel borrows Guy's phone to make a quick call, but he is reluctant to give it up. Ross and Rachel have a conversation about his cat, during which Rachel announces that she has moved on from their relationship and is thinking of names for the cat. Chandler refuses to run on a Sunday morning."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. Monica Geller : OK, if you say stop, then we stop. Chandler Bing : OK, stop. Monica Geller : No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo Woo. Ross Geller : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Ahhhh. Ross Geller : Oh. And how was the date? Rachel Green : Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . Ross Geller : Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that?", "summary": "The plot centers around Monica Geller and Chandler Bing's decision to stop exercising on a Sunday, which Chandler believes is God's day. Monica tries to convince Chandler to continue, but he refuses, leading to a debate between the two friends. Meanwhile, Ross Geller asks Rachel Green about her date, but she struggles to remember details due to excessive wine consumption."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. Ross Geller : OK. Oh, oh, oh. Rachel Green : Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? Ross Geller : No, I stayed at Julie's last night. Rachel Green : Huh. Ross Geller : Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, go ahead. Ross Geller : Rach, I got a message from you. Who's Michael? Rachel Green : Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . Ross Geller : You're over me?", "summary": "Rachel had a dream about Ross and doesn't remember it. Ross didn't call or visit her last night. Rachel received a message from an unknown person named Michael."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ohhhhhhhh God. Ross Geller : Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me? Rachel Green : Ohh, ohh. Ross Geller : When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What? Rachel Green : Ohh, OK, OK, OK, well, basically, lately, I've uh, I've uh, sort of had feelings for you. Ross Geller : You've had feelings for me? Rachel Green : Yeah, what, so? You had feelings for me first. Ross Geller : Woah. Huh. You know about my, I mean, you know I had... you know? Rachel Green : Chandler told me. Ross Geller : Chandler. When did he... when did he... when did he?", "summary": "Rachel confesses that she has feelings for Ross. Ross is surprised and asks how long Chandler knew about his feelings for Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : When you were in China. Ross Geller : China. Rachel Green : Meeting Julie. Ross Geller : Julie. Julie. That. Oh God. Julie, right. OK, I need to lie down. No, ya know, I'm gonna stand. I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna walk, I'm walkin' and I am standing. OK so you uh, and now wha... and now, now, now you're over me? Rachel Green : Are you over me? Ross Geller : That's, that's Julie. Ju... Julie, Julie. Hi Julie. Julie : Hi honey, I've got a cab waiting. Ross Geller : I'll be right down. Rachel Green : Wait, so, you're going? Ross Geller : Well, OK, I uh, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've uh, y'know, I've got a cab, I've got a girlfriend, I'm... I'm gonna go get a cat.", "summary": "Ross meets Julie in China and becomes distracted from Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : OK, OK. Ross Geller : Cat. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : How come you're watching a rabbi play electric guitar? Joey Tribbiani : I can't find the remote. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : So, Scott asked me to come over for lunch today and I did. Joey Tribbiani : And? Phoebe Buffay : And we did. Joey Tribbiani : All right Phoebs, way to go.", "summary": "Ross watches a rabbi play electric guitar; Phoebe and Joey chat about Scott asking her to lunch."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yay me. Joey Tribbiani : So, so how did it happen? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I finally took your advice and asked him what was going on. Joey Tribbiani : And what did he say? Phoebe Buffay : He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so I said, \"OK, relax please,\" y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him. Joey Tribbiani : Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea. Phoebe Buffay : Um-hum. Joey Tribbiani : This man is my God.", "summary": "Phoebe convinces Joey that she had sex with her crush after talking to him for hours and making it clear that he doesn't have to call her again."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : I didn't get a cat. Rachel Green : Oh, that's um, interesting. Ross Geller : No, no it's not interesting. OK, it's very, very not interesting. In fact it's actually 100 percent completely opposite of interesting. Rachel Green : Alright, I got it Ross. Ross Geller : You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you. Rachel Green : Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie? Ross Geller : Then you should have said something before I met her.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past feelings for each other, with Ross expressing his disappointment and frustration at being hurt by Rachel's revelation that she had feelings for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me. Ross Geller : There was never a good time. Rachel Green : Right, you, you only had a year. We only hung out every night. Ross Geller : Not, not, not every night. You know, and... and it's not like I didn't try, Rachel, but things got in the way, y'know? Like, like Italian guys or ex-fiances or, or, or Italian guys. Rachel Green : Hey, there was one Italian guy, OK, and do you even have a point? Ross Geller : The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed. Rachel Green : Yeah, what're you saying, you just sort of put away feelings or whatever the hell it was you felt for me? Ross Geller : Hey, I've been doin' it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it. Rachel Green : Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross. Ross Geller : Fine.", "summary": "Ross tries to explain why he never told Rachel how he felt about her until now, but struggles to find the right words. He reveals that there were many obstacles and distractions in his life during their time together, including Italian guys and ex-fiances, making it difficult for him to express his feelings. Despite this, he still has feelings for Rachel, but believes it's too late now as he is already with someone else and happy."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship. Ross Geller : Good. Rachel Green : Good. Rachel Green : And ya know what, now I've got closure. Ross Geller : Try the bottom one. Chandler Bing : Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. Monica Geller : No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. Chandler Bing : OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. Monica Geller : Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? Chandler Bing : Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross argue over a ship, with Rachel stating she has closure now. Ross suggests trying the bottom one, while Chandler and Monica discuss their weight loss progress. Monica encourages Chandler to keep going, while he expresses uncertainty about the last pound."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, thanks. Chandler Bing : I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. Monica Geller : Well, you know. Chandler Bing : You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. Monica Geller : Well no, but um. Chandler Bing : I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. Monica Geller : Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . Chandler Bing : So, you feel like goin' for a run?", "summary": "Monica tries to stay positive after being fired from her job, but Chandler's sarcastic comments make her feel worse."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Alright. Chandler Bing : Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. Monica Geller : OK. Just for a little while. Chandler Bing : OK. Rachel Green : Ross kissed me. Monica Geller : Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Rachel Green : It was unbelievable! Monica Geller : Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, all right. We want to hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues? Rachel Green : Oh, it ended very well.", "summary": "Ross kissed Rachel, and Monica and Chandler take a nap while Phoebe tries to get more details."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : Do not start without me. Do not start without me. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a \"I gotta have you now\" kind of thing? Rachel Green : Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so, ok, was he holding you? Or was his hand like on your back? Rachel Green : No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair. Monica Geller : Ohhhh. Ross Geller : And, uh, and then I kissed her. Joey Tribbiani : Tongue? Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a passionate kiss, with multiple hands involved."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Chandler Bing : All right, check out this bad boy. 12 megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. What are you gonna use it for? Chandler Bing : Games and stuff. Monica Geller : There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me. Joey Tribbiani : Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked? Monica Geller : There's an ad for a naked chef? Joey Tribbiani : No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... Ross Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, oh, so, um...how'd you make out last night?", "summary": "* Chandler shows off his new computer with impressive specs.\n* Phoebe and Monica are unimpressed by the lack of job opportunities.\n* Joey finds an unusual job listing for a naked chef.\n* Monica rejects the offer, but Joey suggests she might be willing to dance naked instead.\n* Ross enters the conversation unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful Monica Geller : Wait a minute. I thought last night was great. Ross Geller : Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away? Joey Tribbiani : You got all that from saline solution? Monica Geller : We are talking about Rachel here. You and Rachel. Ross Geller : Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... ... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel. Rachel Green : Hey, you. Ross Geller : How are you? Rachel Green : Good. How are you? Ross Geller : Good.", "summary": "Ross struggles with his feelings for Julie and Rachel. He dreams of being with Rachel but finds himself with Julie instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie : Hi, honey. Ross Geller : Hi, Julie. Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you? Julie : Good. Ross Geller : Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, actually. Ross Geller : Play it. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, all right. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses. Julie : What? Ross Geller : Ssshh.", "summary": "Julie and Ross have a conversation, with Phoebe and Joey joining in later."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, \"Two of Them Kissed Last Night\". Phoebe Buffay : There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide! Mr. Ratstatter : This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo. Monica Geller : So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear. Mr. Ratstatter : Mockolate. Monica Geller : I'm sorry? Mr. Ratstatter : Mockolate. It's a completely synthetic chocolate substitute. Monica Geller : Ohh. Mr. Ratstatter : Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate. Monica Geller : All right. Mmm-mmm.", "summary": "Three people are in a love triangle, Betty, Neil, and Loolie (Ju). Neil must choose who to cast aside despite not being real."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Ratstatter : Yeah? Monica Geller : I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that. Mr. Ratstatter : No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you. Monica Geller : Mmm-mmm. Mr. Ratstatter : But, we're thinking, given the right marketing, we can make Thanksgiving the Mockolate holiday. Monica Geller : Wow. Mr. Ratstatter : Aren't you going to swallow that? Monica Geller : Just waiting for it to stop bubbling. Mr. Ratstatter : Yeah, isn't that great? Monica Geller : Mmm.", "summary": "Monica and Mr. Ratstatter discuss their new product, Mockolate, which they believe could become a popular alternative to chocolate during Thanksgiving."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Ratstatter : Well, anyhoo, um, we are looking for a couple of chefs who can create some Thanksgiving-themed recipes. You think you might be interested? Monica Geller : Abso... ...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate. Mr. Ratstatter : Really? Monica Geller : Especially the after taste, you know, I'll tell ya, that'll last ya till Christmas. Monica Geller : How about Mockolate mousse? Phoebe Buffay : It's not, it's not very Thanksgiving-y. Monica Geller : Ok, how about pilgrim Mockolate mousse? Phoebe Buffay : What makes it pilgrim? Monica Geller : We'll put buckles on it. Rachel Green : Hey.", "summary": "Monica Geller and Phoebe Buffay are interested in creating Thanksgiving-themed recipes for a contest, while Mr. Ratstatter is hesitant. Monica suggests Mockolate mousse, which Phoebe doesn't think is festive enough. They come up with the idea of pilgrim Mockolate mousse with buckles, and Rachel Green joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Did uh, Ross call? Monica Geller : No, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, \"Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together.\" Phoebe Buffay : No offense, but that sounds nothing like her. Ross Geller : I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare. Chandler Bing : Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, here's a thought, Ross. Chandler Bing : Don't touch the computer. Don't ever touch the computer.", "summary": "Ross is dealing with a difficult situation involving Julie and two women loving him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome. Chandler Bing : Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column. Ross Geller : Can't we just use a pen? Chandler Bing : No, Amish boy. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first. Ross Geller : I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes. Joey Tribbiani : You could say that. Ross Geller : And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress. Chandler Bing : Waitress. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else? Ross Geller : I don't know.", "summary": "Rachel and Julie are considered for a threesome by Joey and Chandler, who make a list of pros and cons for each person. Rachel is spoiled and ditzy, while Julie is a paleontologist with whom Chandler shares common interests. Ross is skeptical and uncomfortable with the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, her ankles are a little chubby. Chandler Bing : Ok, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her? Ross Geller : She's not Rachel. Monica Geller : Ok, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served. Rachel Green : Oh my god. Monica Geller : Oh my god good? Rachel Green : Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like! Chandler Bing : I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are not together. Monica makes mockolate desserts. Joey tries to hook up with Julie but fails. Chandler has issues with printing. Phoebe tastes something bad."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing. Chandler Bing : So, Spock actually hugs his father? Rachel Green : Hey, do you guys have... ...hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Where you goin'? Ross Geller : I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing. Rachel Green : Well, what's the other thing, what do I think? Ross Geller : Well, uh.", "summary": "Ross and Julie had a fight and she cried, threw things at him, and he got hit. Later, Chandler asks if Spock hugs his father in Star Trek, and Rachel enters the conversation. Ross quickly changes the subject and evades Chandler's question."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Really. It's always been you, Rach. Rachel Green : Oh, god. Chandler Bing : Ohhh. Rachel Green : Oh, oh, this is good, this is really good. Ross Geller : I know, I know, it's, it's almost... What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them? Rachel Green : Let me get my coat. Ross Geller : Ok. No, hey, whoa, whoa, I'll get your coat. Rachel Green : Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. What's that?", "summary": "Break-up leads to walk with Ross and Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Nothing. Rachel Green : What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it? Chandler Bing : No, no, see? See? Hey, it's printing. Hey, it's printing! Rachel Green : Well what is it? Let me see. Ross Geller : Hey, someone order a coat? Rachel Green : Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see. Ross Geller : He won't? He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing. Rachel Green : And I'm in it? Then let me read it. Chandler Bing : No!", "summary": "Rachel discovers a piece of paper with her name on it in Chandler's computer and demands to see what he wrote about her. Chandler refuses to show it to her, leading to a confrontation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Come on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her? Chandler Bing : Alright. \"It was summer, and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look,' cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The end.\" Ross Geller : That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world. Rachel Green : All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it. Ross Geller : No, you don't. Rachel Green : All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. Rachel Green : What is this? Ross, what is this? Chandler Bing : Good luck. Ross Geller : Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?", "summary": "Rachel finds a piece of paper with a story on it that Joey wrote, which includes a kingdom and a princess named Ned. Ross mocks Joey's writing skills and Rachel becomes upset, leading to a argument between her and Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Kind of ditzy? Too into her looks? Spoiled? Ross Geller : Now that's a little spoiled. He was supposed to type \"little\", the idiot. Rachel Green : Just a waitress? Ross Geller : No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach? Rachel Green : Oh! I do not have chubby ankles! Ross Geller : No, no, wait, ok, ok, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column. Rachel Green : She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress. Ross Geller : No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel? Chandler Bing : My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary. Monica Geller : You know, that's true. You'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over her perceived ditzy behavior, with Ross bringing up Julie's column and Rachel getting defensive about her looks. Chandler accidentally reveals that he keeps a diary, which Monica thinks could be useful in an emergency situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Oh good, I was hoping that would come up. Monica Geller : This was your idea? Phoebe Buffay : What were you thinking? Chandler Bing : All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason. Monica Geller : Yeah. You! Chandler Bing : All right, Pheebs, back me up here, ok? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?", "summary": "Ross created a list of humiliating moments from their past, which his friends criticize and try to distance themselves from. Chandler admits it was his idea, leading to a debate about karma and perspective."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle. Ross Geller : Rach! Whoops! Rach, hey, open up, please! Rachel Green : When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape. Ross Geller : I just wanna read something. It's your pro list. Rachel Green : Not interested. Ross Geller : Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben. Ross Geller : Number six: the way you smell. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Ross! What are you doin'? Ross Geller : Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, I do.", "summary": "Ross attempts to read Rachel's \"pro list\" of reasons why she loves her friends, but she is not interested. Ross then proceeds to read out loud various reasons he likes Rachel, including her ability to cry at game shows and play with her hair when nervous. Joey enters the apartment and Ross asks him to open the window."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What are you doing out there? Ross Geller : I am, uh, I am... Monica Geller : Oh, you must be freezing. You know what you need? How about a nice steaming cup of hot Mockolate? Ross Geller : Rach, come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on, Rach. You got to give me another chance. Rachel Green : No. Ross Geller : No? Rachel Green : That's what I said. Chandler Bing : Look, maybe we should go? Rachel Green : No, you guys, you really don't have to go, we're done talking. Ross Geller : Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.", "summary": "Ross tries to win back Rachel after she rejects him, while Chandler and Monica try to convince them to go somewhere."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you. Ross Geller : No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things. Rachel Green : Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. I said don't go! Ross Geller : You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you. Rachel Green : Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list. Joey Tribbiani : I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? Maybe a little longer. Monica Geller : Now, in some of these recipes, the quantities may seem just a little unusual, uh, like these coconut mockolate holiday nut bars. I've indicated four cups of coconut, and four cups of crushed nut, and only, uh, one tablespoon of mockolate. Mr. Ratstatter : Doesn't matter. Monica Geller : What? Mr. Ratstatter : Our FDA approval didn't come through. Something about laboratory rats.", "summary": "Ross wants to be with Rachel despite her insecurities, but she doesn't want him to be because of her flaws. They have different perspectives on how they view themselves and their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. Mr. Ratstatter : Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you? Monica Geller : Well, uh, I ate some. Mr. Ratstatter : Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it? Monica Geller : Hello? Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighin' me down. Monica Geller : Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time. Ross Geller : Look, can, can you do something for me? Monica Geller : Sure, what? Ok, ok. Music?", "summary": "Monica Geller receives a check from Mr. Ratstatter and eats some of it while cooking. Mr. Ratstatter expresses concern that she ate too little of the food, as it doesn't burn when urinating. Ross Geller calls Monica and asks for her help with something, but Monica is hesitant to assist him due to an unrelated issue involving her ankles. Rachel Green joins the conversation and offers to take Ross's message, but Monica declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Radio : The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. Radio : Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out. Mr. Ratstatter : Hi, thanks for coming in again. Monica Geller : Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash. Mr. Ratstatter : It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called \"fishtachios\". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you? Monica Geller : Cat hair. Mr. Ratstatter : Oh, sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "Ross is sorry for something he did and wants Rachel's forgiveness. A couple is working through their issues after a car accident. Monica is working at a new job to make extra money and tries out a new food product called \"fishtachios\" that are made of fish parts. Phoebe sees Ugly Naked Guy decorating his Christmas tree and Chandler and Joey exchange greetings."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year? Chandler Bing : Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad. Monica Geller : Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies. Chandler Bing : And twenty-five it is. Joey Tribbiani : You gave him cookies? Monica Geller : Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares. . . Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that. Phoebe Buffay : I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick. Chandler Bing : Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies? Phoebe Buffay : Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey discuss tipping their super, while Monica reveals she made him homemade cookies instead. Phoebe shares a limerick a plate of brownies once told her, and Chandler questions if the brownies had drugs in them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies? Rachel Green : Uhh, the mailman, the super. Monica Geller : Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this. Rachel Green : Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section. Monica Geller : Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle. Ross Geller : Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bitemebitemebitemebiteme. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang shares stories of who they tipped with cookies, including the mailman, super, and newspaper delivery guy. Joey reveals that he accidentally tip-tied his cookies to the sports section, while Monica shows off her completed crossword puzzle. Meanwhile, Ross is preoccupied with a difficult clue in the puzzle, and Joey can't believe it's already Christmas."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. . . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . . Rachel Green : Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me? Ross Geller : How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place? Gunther : Yeah. Ross Geller : Here, go nuts. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "Ross buys Rachel a Slinky as a gift and they reminisce about their past arguments. Gunther has stairs in his apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What's in the bag? Ross Geller : Um, just some presents. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon show us what you bought. . . You know you want to. Ross Geller : OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh. Monica Geller : Cute. Ross Geller : I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom. Monica Geller : Ross, that is gorgeous! Ross Geller : Yeah? Monica Geller : Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy. Phoebe Buffay : Hey.", "summary": "Ross buys presents for his parents and siblings, including a picture frame from Ben, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol, and a blouse for his mom. Phoebe enters the room and comments on the \"authentic fake medals.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Gang : Hey. Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Happy Christmas Eve Eve. Oh my God, where did you get this? Ross Geller : Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings. Phoebe Buffay : This is my father, this is a picture of my dad. Chandler Bing : Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame. Phoebe Buffay : No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you. Rachel Green : Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison. Phoebe Buffay : No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born. Rachel Green : How have you never been on Oprah? Phoebe Buffay : OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.", "summary": "Phoebe shows her friends a picture of her father, who ran out on her and her mother before she was born. Rachel asks how Phoebe has never been on Oprah, to which Phoebe replies that she has a picture of her father given to her by her mother before she died."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie. Phoebe Buffay : It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. Monica Geller : Oh, wait a minute honey. Gang : Phoebs. Monica Geller : Wow. Joey Tribbiani : So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. . . Gang : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears! Grandmother : Esther Livingston. Gone. Grandmother : Hi, Phoe.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay discovers a picture of a man posing in front of a blue screen with a collie and mistakes it for a clear day. Monica Geller and Joey Tribbiani discuss Joey's attempt to seduce his boss's ex-wife. Grandmother Esther Livingston enters and greets Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi Gram. Whatcha doin'? Grandmother : Oh, just updating the phonebook. Phoebe Buffay : Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again? Grandmother : Oh. Oh, sure, sure, uh, uh, how come? Phoebe Buffay : Just, you know, to see... um. Grandmother : Oh, sure, yeah. This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation. . . another graduation. . . another graduation. Phoebe Buffay : OK, is this really my father? Grandmother : Is it really your fa--I can't... well of course it is. Phoebe Buffay : OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire. Grandmother : Look, I. . .", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay visits her grandmother and asks to see pictures of her father. The grandmother shows her a series of photos of a man in different graduation ceremonies and helping a child fly a kite in a meadow. Phoebe expresses confusion and suspicion, suggesting that something is amiss with the photos."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me. Grandmother : Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God. Grandmother : It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones? Grandmother : Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate. Phoebe Buffay : OK, that makes no sense. Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist? Grandmother : Honey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Grandmother : Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. This is the real him.", "summary": "The grandmother reveals to Phoebe that her father is not a famous tree surgeon as she had been led to believe, but rather a pharmacist somewhere upstate. The grandmother explains that Phoebe's mother wanted to keep her father's identity a secret due to the pain he caused her when he left, and after her death, the grandmother found out more information about him, including his current occupation as a pharmacist. However, the villagers in Burma continue to worship a hut, leading Phoebe to question why they would do so."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Chandler Bing : Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up. Rachel Green : Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas. Chandler Bing : Who said anything about Christmas? Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet? Rachel Green : No, nothin'. Monica Geller : I hope she's OK. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through. Monica Geller : How do you know exactly what she's going through?", "summary": "Chandler recounts a drunken encounter with his father, who would sneak around downstairs during holidays despite not wanting to be seen. Meanwhile, Rachel worries about Phoebe's whereabouts and Monica expresses concern for her well-being, while Joey claims to understand what she's going through despite having no personal experience."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : She told us. Chandler Bing : So whaddya got there Monica? Monica Geller : Just some stuff for the party. Ross Geller : Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping? Monica Geller : You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're ya gonna do? Chandler Bing : Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that? Rachel Green : Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. Monica Geller : Well, maybe the mailman liked the cookies, we just didn't give him enough. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, pigeons learn faster that you. Ross Geller : Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang prepares for Christmas by shopping for gifts and baking cookies. Rachel receives ornaments from her mom, but the mailman doesn't seem to appreciate them. Joey suggests that pigeons learn faster than Monica, and Ross tries to cheer up Rachel by asking her to make a list of reasons why he's a good boyfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . Ross Geller : C'mon Rachel. Rachel Green : OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. Ross Geller : See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. Rachel Green : Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. Grandmother : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. Grandmother : C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a confrontation about their past relationship, with Rachel listing her grievances against Ross. Phoebe tries to help by providing phone numbers of people in various locations, but ultimately fails. Grandmother enters the conversation and attempts to mediate, but Phoebe remains upset."}
-{"dialogues": "Grandmother : Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. Phoebe Buffay : No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. Grandmother : I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. Phoebe Buffay : Whattaya mean? Grandmother : He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. Thank you. Grandmother : Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! Commercial Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe here with the cab yet? Chandler Bing : Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab. . . hop in.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to know who her father is and her grandmother reveals that he lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. The grandmother gives Phoebe the address but warns her that nobody else drives the cab. Phoebe thanks her grandmother and sets off to find her father, with Joey and Chandler providing comedic relief in the background."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well she better get here soon, the outlet stores close at 7. Chandler Bing : Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, here she comes. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk. Chandler Bing : Eeeshk. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, big stuff.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay finds out she has a father and is meeting him in two hours."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : OK, let's go. Chandler Bing : OK. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, here, you have to hold this. Chandler Bing : OK. Brake left, gas right? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah, that's my cheat sheet. Chandler Bing : Where's my seat belt? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : C'mon, just tell me, please, please.", "summary": "Joey and Ross are in a car accident while driving with Phoebe and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive. Rachel Green : Oh, gosh, it's hot in here. Monica Geller : Rach, get the heat. Ross, could you turn the heat down please? Ross Geller : Sure. By the way, there's a difference between being obsessive and. . . Monica Geller : Ross, the heat! Ross Geller : Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. OK, this way is on, so this is. . . off. Rachel Green : Did you just break the radiator? Ross Geller : No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is. Monica Geller : Well put it back. Ross Geller : It uhh, it won't go back.", "summary": "Ross becomes obsessed with adjusting the thermostat in their apartment, while Monica and Rachel try to deal with his fixation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'll call the super. Monica Geller : Here, let me try. Ross Geller : Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal. Monica Geller : Hey, it's Funny's cousin, Not Funny. Rachel Green : Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight. Ross Geller : OK, tip the man. Monica Geller : No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party. Ross Geller : Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, this is it, 74. Chandler Bing : Oh, so that's what this is for.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica try to get a new knob for their radiator as it's very hot in their apartment. Ross offers to call the super but Monica is not interested. They discuss having a party that night despite the heat. Phoebe and Chandler arrive and joke about the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Sure is. Phoebe Buffay : OK, here I go. I'm goin' in. Chandler Bing : Alright. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. Rachel Green : Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom. Ross Geller : It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much? Monica Geller : Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is meeting her father for the first time, and Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani offer their support. Meanwhile, at a tropical Christmas party, Rachel Green greets guests and Ross Geller struggles with using too much gel in his hair. Monica Geller suggests napping with ice cubes."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK. Monica Geller : Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. Rachel Green : Mr. Treeger. Mr. Treeger : Uhh, you said there was a party. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, well hey, welcome to our sauna. Mr. Treeger : Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese! Ross Geller : Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. Monica Geller : No, I will not cave. Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm with Mon. Ross Geller : Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel's guest becomes jerky, Monica refuses to give him anything despite Ross's urging, and Ross gives him $50 instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back. Ross Geller : No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now? Mr. Treeger : No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday. Monica Geller : Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Looks like he's playin' baseball. Ross Geller : You mean hardball? Monica Geller : Whatever. Rachel Green : What'cha gonna' do? Ross Geller : Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting?", "summary": "Ross tries to give Mr. Treeger a Christmas tip but he insists on fixing the radiator first. Monica teases Ross about his seizure and Rachel joins in. Mr. Treeger accepts an additional $50 as a Hanukkah gift."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : No, the place is not open 'till Tuesday. Am I not saying it right. Monica Geller : So, wait, you really did like my cookies? Mr. Treeger : Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared. Rachel Green : Nice seizing. . . gel boy. Mr. Treeger : So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe? Rachel Green : Huh-huh, no act--no, uhh, that, that is basil. Mr. Treeger : Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya. Rachel Green : Huh-hoo, yeah, no, it's still basil. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Joey Tribbiani : How far'd ya get?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a man named Mr. Treeger, who is not opening his place until Tuesday. Monica Geller bakes cookies for him, which he enjoys and finds personal. Rachel Green teases Mr. Treeger about mistletoe, but he clarifies it's basil. Mr. Treeger makes a move to kiss Rachel under the mistletoe, but she corrects him that it's still basil. Phoebe Buffay and Joey Tribbiani join in on the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Mailbox. Chandler Bing : Alright, we're gettin' closer. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs, what's goin' on? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . . Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe he's, maybe he's this really cool pharmacist guy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter. Chandler Bing : Well, so why not go knock? Phoebe Buffay : Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs, that's OK. You took a big step today.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to find her biological father, a former Burma tree surgeon who now works as a pharmacist. She is hesitant to knock on his door due to fear of rejection or disappointment. Chandler encourages her to take the step and potentially find a real father figure."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you. Phoebe Buffay : You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's OK, we'll figure something out. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas. Chandler Bing : Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here! Joey Tribbiani : Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down? Monica Geller : Hey, we could have used that kind of thinkin' earlier. Ross Geller : Hey, Phoebs, how'd it go.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey try to help Chandler enter a store despite its strict hedge policy, while Monica and Ross return from shopping and comment on their previous mistake."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I couldn't go in. Monica Geller : Honey, I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Are you OK? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now. Chandler Bing : Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright. Joey Tribbiani : Rach, these are for you. Rachel Green : Wiper blades. I don't even have a car. Joey Tribbiani : No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do. Chandler Bing : OK, Phoebs, your turn.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel exchange gifts at midnight on Christmas Eve, while Monica and Chandler discuss the broken knob on their door. Joey gives Rachel wiper blades despite her lack of a car, and Phoebe interrupts with a vague comment about knowing someone is there."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas? Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : You guuuyys. Joey Tribbiani : And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth. Ross Geller : You got me a cola drink? Chandler Bing : And, a lemon lime. Ross Geller : Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater. Chandler Bing : And last but not least. Joey Tribbiani : They're ribbed for your pleasure. Joey Tribbiani : When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.", "summary": "Ross buys Chandler and Joey gifts while they wait for gas, including cola drinks and ribbed condoms. Phoebe finds this amusing and makes jokes about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hiiiiii. Phoebe Buffay : Are... are you OK? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he? Monica Geller : Maybe. Ross Geller : Don't toy with me. Bobby Rush : Geller! Ross Geller : Hey, Fun Bobby! Bobby Rush : Hey. Whoa, hey, you've been working out, huh? Ross Geller : Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister! Monica Geller : You and me both.", "summary": "A stegosaurus falls over and traps a kid, and Ross has a tough day at work. Fun Bobby returns and Ross is excited to see him."}
-{"dialogues": "Bobby Rush : Hey, so what'd I miss, what'd I miss, c'mon? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, we were just trying to make Joey feel better. Bobby Rush : Hey, do you need me to pick you up? Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm alright man. Really. Bobby Rush : No, I'm picking you up. Joey Tribbiani : Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... Alright! It still works. Bobby Rush : OK, now before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up? I'm still gonna go. Monica Geller : OK, I'll see you later babe. Bobby Rush : Uh, public display of affection coming up. You can avert your eyes. Bobby Rush : See ya.", "summary": "Bobby Rush asks Phoebe Buffay and Joey Tribbiani what he missed, as he is going to pick them up. Joey insists he is alright, but Bobby offers to take him anyway. Monica Geller chimes in, saying she'll see Bobby later, and there may be a public display of affection."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Bye! See you later! Phoebe Buffay : Fun Bobby is so great. Monica Geller : Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full. Phoebe Buffay : Half full of looooovvvvve. Monica Geller : And for our two-week anniversary, he's gonna take me to his cousin's cabin for the weekend. Phoebe Buffay : Cabin of loooooovvvvve. Rachel Green : We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys. Monica Geller : Really? I only had two glasses. Joey Tribbiani : I just had a glass. Phoebe Buffay : Two.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica discuss Bobby, with Monica expressing hope that he may be \"the one\" after feeling unwell and jobless. They reminisce about their time together at the cabin."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I had one glass. Chandler Bing : I had about a mugful in this lovely 'I got boned at the Museum of Natural History' mug. Rachel Green : OK, so that's... that's what, two bottles? And yet somehow we went through five? Ross Geller : Oooooh. Joey Tribbiani : Ooooooh. Monica Geller : So what. So he drank a lot tonight. Ross Geller : Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, OOOH, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um, OK, 'I was soooo wasted,' or, 'Oh, we were soooo bombed,' or, ummm, ooh, ooh, 'So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut.' Joey Tribbiani : Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking? Monica Geller : Well, we just happen to go to alot of places where you might drink. I mean, how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or... or to a club, or to the... zoo.", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler have two drinks each, while Ross and Joey have five. Phoebe notices that Fun Bobby always starts his stories with phrases related to being drunk. Monica has been with him in situations where drinking is common (wine tastings, clubs, or the zoo)."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rach, does this have nonfat milk? Rachel Green : Ehhhummmm, I don't know, why don't you taste it. Monica Geller : Mmmm, no. Rachel Green : Oh well, too late, sorry, you already had some. Bobby Rush : Whattaya say we make these, uh, coffees Irish? Phoebe Buffay : Um, cake. Rachel Green : Yeah, we're gonna... we're gonna get some cake. Monica Geller : You know what? It seems like you've been making an awful lot of stuff Irish lately. Bobby Rush : Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask. Monica Geller : Bobby.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss whether a drink contains nonfat milk, before tasting it. Bobby suggests making coffee Irish, while Phoebe prefers cake. Monica expresses concern about the amount of things being made Irish lately."}
-{"dialogues": "Bobby Rush : Yeah, OK. Monica Geller : Look, maybe this is none of my business, or maybe it is, I don't know... but, uh, I'm kind of worried about you. Bobby Rush : OK, look, this isn't the first time somebody's said something to me about this, but, I don't know... I always made excuses about it, like... uhhh... 'I'm just a social drinker,' or, 'C'mon, it's Flag Day.' Monica Geller : So, what are you saying now? Bobby Rush : I guess I'm saying, I'll try and quit. I kinda like that you worry about me. Phoebe Buffay : Sooo, what's goin' on, huh? Bobby Rush : I am gonna try and quit drinking. Phoebe Buffay : Ooohh, why? Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey.", "summary": "Bobby Rush struggles with alcoholism, but Monica Geller expresses concern for his well-being and encourages him to quit drinking. Bobby agrees to try to stop drinking and appreciates Monica's worry. Phoebe Buffay asks what's going on and Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani enter the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : Guess who's back in show business. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, ohh, Lorne Green? Chandler Bing : No, no, Phoebs. You know why? Cause he's dead. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no. Chandler Bing : OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme. Chandler Bing : Hey, yeah... we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia.", "summary": "Joey auditions for Days of Our Lives and celebrates with Phoebe and Chandler, who suggest a soap opera theme and a plot involving amnesia."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach, what time do you get off? We're all gonna do something tonight. Rachel Green : Ummmm.... well, actually I'm already done, but I...I kinda got plans. Monica Geller : You have other friends? Rachel Green : Yeah... I, uhh... I have a... I have a date. Monica Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : With a man? Rachel Green : What? What is so strange about me having a date? Joey Tribbiani : What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you? Rachel Green : Noooo, no, I'm not mad at him. I'm.. I'm not really anything at him anymore. Monica Geller : What are you talking about?", "summary": "Rachel has plans and doesn't want to hang out with the group, but she also has a date. Joey wonders if she's still mad at Ross after he made a list of her. Rachel insists she's not mad at him anymore."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't know. Whatever I was feeling, I'm... not. Phoebe Buffay : But you guys came so close. Rachel Green : Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross. Rachel Green : Here he is. Hi. Guys, this is Russ. Russ : Hhhhiiiii. Estelle Leonard : Stop saying you're not talented, you're very talented. It's just with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left. Oh, honey, give me a break, will ya? Oooh, ooh, I'll talk to you later. Estelle Leonard : Well, there's my favorite client. So tell me darling, how was the audition? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday. Estelle Leonard : Joey, have you ever seen me ecstatic? Joey Tribbiani : No.", "summary": "Rachel rejects Ross's advances and introduces her new boyfriend, Russ. Phoebe tries to cheer up Rachel about their failed relationship. Estelle Leonard insults Rachel's acting skills and teases Joey about his callback audition."}
-{"dialogues": "Estelle Leonard : Well, here it is. Joey Tribbiani : OK, uh.... listen, there's something I want to talk to you about. The network casting lady... Estelle Leonard : Oh, isn't Lori a doll? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in. Estelle Leonard : Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. Yeah, hi, Lori please. Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? Uh-huuuuh. Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her. Rachel Green : What's the matter? Monica Geller : It's Fun Bobby. Rachel Green : What, isn't he sober? Monica Geller : Oh, he's sober alright. Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason. Rachel Green : Ohhh, OK.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani suspects that the network casting lady, Lori, may have been flirting with him, and he wonders if he would have gotten the part if he had sent in his \"Little General\" character. Estelle Leonard makes a call to Lori to investigate further. Meanwhile, Rachel and Monica discuss \"Fun Bobby,\" who is sober but also fun for a reason."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Alright, here you go, sweetie. Bobby Rush : Thanks. You wanna hear something funny? Monica Geller : Oh God, yes! Bobby Rush : There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village. Phoebe Buffay : That is funny. Bobby Rush : I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village. Monica Geller : Ahhh, hey honey? Don't you have to be at your interview now? Bobby Rush : Oh yeah. See you guys. Chandler Bing : Bye..... ridiculously dull Bobby. Monica Geller : Oh.... my... God.", "summary": "Bobby Rush needs a hammer but can't find an open hardware store past midnight in the Village. Phoebe finds this funny. Bobby has to go to an interview and Chandler bids him farewell with the description \"ridiculously dull Bobby.\" Monica reacts with excitement."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It's not that bad. Monica Geller : Not that bad? Did you hear the hammer story? Phoebe Buffay : OK, OK, don't get all squinky. Rachel Green : Maybe it was just the kind of story where you have to be there. Monica Geller : But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, don't say that. He's probably always been dull. You just, you know, set it free. Russ : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey Ross.... bahhhh! Rachel Green : Hi Russ, I've just got two more tables to clean and then we'll go, OK? Russ : OK, I'll just sit here and... uh... chat with your, uh.... friend-type....people.", "summary": "Monica made a hammer story that upset Phoebe, who said it wasn't that bad. Monica then revealed she can't break up with her boyfriend because she helped him quit drinking and he's now dull due to her influence. Russ joined them and Chandler made a sarcastic comment about cleaning tables."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Um, hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : OK, so, you know what you're doing, right? Rachel Green : Uhh.... waitressing? Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah, but... no. I mean, umm... doesn't.... doesn't Russ just remind you of someone? Rachel Green : Huh, Bob Saget? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! No, no, no, no, oh, oh. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my, oh! Ross Geller : What? What's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : I, OK....", "summary": "Rachel is a waitress who is unsure of her job responsibilities, while Phoebe compares Russ to Bob Saget and later becomes distracted by a new topic."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : She's just upset because she, uh, she buttered a spider into her toast this morning. Ross Geller : Alright. Chandler Bing : Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross. Russ : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Russ : Are you a, uh, friend of Rachel's? Ross Geller : Yes, yes I am. Are you a, uh, a friend of Rachel's? Russ : Actually, I'm a... kind of a.... you know, a... date-type... thing... of Rachel's. Ross Geller : A date. Russ : Yeah, I'm her date.", "summary": "Monica butters a spider into her toast, causing Ross and Chandler to react with disgust. Russ enters the scene and reveals that he is Rachel's date, much to Ross's surprise and confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, oh, you're... uh... you're, oh you're the date. Chandler Bing : You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare. Russ : Oh, you are the, uh... paleontologist. Ross Geller : Yes, yes I am. And you are a.... Russ : Periodontist. Monica Geller : See? They're as different as night and... later that night. Ross Geller : Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you. Russ : Ditto. Ross Geller : I, uh, well... I... I met Russ. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are on a date, but they quickly realize that they have misidentified each other's professions. A paleontologist and a periodontist, respectively. Monica and Rachel are confused by their mistake."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people. Rachel Green : Well, we're not seeing each other, so.... Ross Geller : Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal... Rachel Green : Well, yeah, this is the deal. Ross Geller : OK, well, um, have a nice evening. Rachel Green : Um, Russ, you ready? Russ : Yeah. Rachel Green : Bye. Monica Geller : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Bye.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are not seeing each other, but Ross is interested in a woman at the museum who is drawn to him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : She's dating. She's dating. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes, but did you see who she was dating? Ross Geller : What do you mean? Monica Geller : Do you not see it? Ross Geller : See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it? Ross Geller : ....................Yeah. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Whoa, whoa, so I'm guessing you didn't get the part, or... uh, Italy called and said it was hungry.", "summary": "Monica starts dating someone new, but Ross and Chandler are skeptical of her choice. They find it difficult to understand why she would be interested in him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, the part's mine if I want it. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady. Chandler Bing : Oh my... God? Joey Tribbiani : Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television. Chandler Bing : So, what're you gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that? Chandler Bing : Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know. Joey Tribbiani : I've never slept with someone for a part. Chandler Bing : Well is she...", "summary": "Joey wants a role in a play, but the part belongs to someone else unless he agrees to sleep with the casting director."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Sorry. Chandler Bing : It's alright. Is she good-looking? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. You know, after having slept with her. Chandler Bing : Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas. Joey Tribbiani : I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General. Chandler Bing : Didn't you used to call it the Little Major? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it. Waiter : Can I get you something from the bar? Monica Geller : Yes, I would like something. No, no thank you. Bobby Rush : If... if you want to drink, it's OK with me, I've got to get used to it.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss a woman they both find attractive, with Joey expressing his interest in sleeping with her after buying her breakfast in a bar. Chandler downplays the significance of the situation, comparing it to getting a great job and having sex. Joey is uncertain about making it in the industry due to his lack of talent and the influence of his agent, who he promoted from Little Major to Little General after a previous relationship. Monica joins the conversation at the bar, while Bobby Rush offers to buy drinks for anyone who wants them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. Just some water. Bobby Rush : So the light went out in my refrigerator... Monica Geller : I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist. Chandler Bing : Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium. Russ : Dysprosium. Ross Geller : Dysprosium? Try mendelevium. Chandler Bing : And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues. Phoebe Buffay : You don't see it? You actually don't see it? Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : OK honey, you're dating Ross.", "summary": "Monica does not want to help Bobby with his refrigerator issue; instead, she requests a scotch on the rocks with a twist. Chandler and Ross engage in another round of trivia questions, discussing atomic elements and their corresponding letters. Phoebe comments on Rachel's relationship with Ross, causing confusion and humor among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, Phoebs. I'm dating Russ. Phoebe Buffay : Russ is Ross. Russ... Ross! Rachel Green : Steve... sleeve! Phoebe Buffay : OK, noone is named Sleeve. Rachel Green : Phoebe, what the hell are you talking about? Other than their names being similar, I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing. Ross Geller : For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark. Russ : You could not be more wrong. You could try... but you would not be successful. Chandler Bing : OK, I'm gonna get some more coffee before the pinching and eye-poking begins. Russ : I know what your problem is. Ross Geller : Oh you do, do you?", "summary": "Russ and Rachel are dating, but Phoebe mistakes him for Ross. There is confusion about the name \"Sleeve\" and a conversation ensues about card tricks and eye-poking."}
-{"dialogues": "Russ : Um-hum, you're jealous. Ross Geller : Of... of what? Russ : You're jealous because I'm a real doctor. Ross Geller : Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma. Russ : Hey, you listen. Ross Geller : No, no, let me finish. Russ : No, let me finish. Ross Geller : No, you let me fini... Ross Geller : Hi. Russ : Hi.", "summary": "Russ and Ross have a conversation about jealousy, with Russ accusing Ross of being jealous of his medical degree and Ross responding by pointing out that Russ only has a degree in dentistry, specifically gum care."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww! Rachel Green : Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left? Chandler Bing : No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job? Rachel Green : I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with? Chandler Bing : Me. Rachel Green : Why would I have to sleep with you? Chandler Bing : It's my game. You want the job or not? Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Morning. Ross Geller : Where ya goin'?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Joey's departure without knowing his plans. Chandler offers a deal to get a job, but Rachel declines. Monica greets them in the morning."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Bobby and I are going away for the weekend, remember? Ross Geller : Ooooohhhh. Phoebe Buffay : What's with all the bottles of liquor? Ross Geller : What's going on, is... uh, Bobby drinking again? Monica Geller : Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing. Rachel Green : Oh God, even his knock is boring. Monica Geller : Hi. I'll be ready in just a second. Bobby Rush : Uh, can I talk to you a minute? Monica Geller : Sure. Bobby Rush : This is really hard for me to say.", "summary": "Monica and Bobby are going away for the weekend, but Ross suspects that Bobby may be drinking again due to the numerous bottles of liquor he has purchased. Monica clarifies that the alcohol is for her own enjoyment, as she finds Bobby's stories about shoelaces more amusing when he is sober. Rachel chimes in with her own thoughts on the matter, and Bobby privately approaches Monica to reveal a difficult secret."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh God, you fell off the wagon. Bobby Rush : Oh, no, no, it's about you. Monica Geller : What about me? Bobby Rush : I think you may have a drinking problem. Monica Geller : What these? Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes. Bobby Rush : Look, I am just not strong enough to be in a codependent relationship right now, OK? Monica Geller : Oh... shoot. Bobby Rush : Well, anyway, I hope we can be friends. Monica Geller : OK. Monica Geller : Take care.", "summary": "Bobby Rush tells Monica Geller that he thinks she may have a drinking problem, and Monica denies it by showing him her medical supplies for cuts and scrapes. Bobby then confesses that he is not strong enough to be in a codependent relationship right now, and the two part ways amicably."}
-{"dialogues": "Bobby Rush : You too. Rachel Green : What happened? Monica Geller : Well we... we kinda broke up. Gang : Awwwwwwww. Monica Geller : Does anybody want these? Chandler Bing : I'll take one. Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Gang : Hey! Ross Geller : How'd the callback go? Joey Tribbiani : It was unbelievable! I walked in there and she was all over me.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler break up, while Joey pretends to be a giant and holds onto a bag of food."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So what'd you do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way. Ross Geller : Good for you. Joey Tribbiani : But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part. Phoebe Buffay : So... and? Joey Tribbiani : Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes! Gang : Allright! Joey Tribbiani : Alright... I've got to go shower. Russ : Hi. Chandler Bing : Oh, hey.", "summary": "Joey auditions for a role but turns it down, only to be offered an even bigger part later on."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Russ : I guess you guys heard, Rachel dumped me. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm sorry man. Russ : Oh, all she said was that I remind her too much of somebody. You have any idea who she's talking about? Phoebe Buffay : Oh I do, it's.... it's Bob Saget. She hates him. Russ : Oh. Julie : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Julie! Hey, how are you doing? Julie : Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....", "summary": "Rachel broke up with Russ because he reminds her of someone else (Bob Saget)."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi! Carol Willick : So how did everything go? Ross Geller : Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it. Carol Willick : Well, we've gotta go. Ross Geller : Ok. Susan Bunch :  Carol Willick : Oh, right. Um, I've got some news. It's about us. Ross Geller : Oh, you and me? Carol Willick : Uh, no, Susan and me. Susan Bunch : The other us.", "summary": "Ross has a baby and there was an incident with projectile vomiting, but he claims the child started it. Carol has news about her relationship with Susan, who is also involved in the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ok. Carol Willick : We're uh, we're getting married. Ross Geller : As in, \"I now pronounce you wife and wife\" married? Carol Willick : Anyway, we'd like you to come, but we totally understand if you don't want to. Ross Geller : Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding. Carol Willick : Look I just thought that... Ross Geller : No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? I'm revelling baby, believe me! Susan Bunch : Is your finger caught in that chair? Ross Geller : Mmm hmmm. Carol Willick : Want us to go?", "summary": "Ross and Carol are getting married, but they're not sure if they want Monica and Chandler to come to the wedding. Ross says he had fun at their previous wedding, but Carol thought he wouldn't want to come. They discuss why they might not want to invite them, but ultimately decide to include them in their celebration."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : This is so cool. You're actually gonna be on television. Joey Tribbiani : It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives.. Monica Geller : Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast. Chandler Bing : Yes! Monica Geller : They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it? Ross Geller : Would it matter? Monica Geller : Oh, you are so great! Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : Are you really not going? Ross Geller : I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?", "summary": "Monica and Carol's caterer had a mountain bike accident, and Monica is asked to cater their wedding despite never having done it before. Ross doesn't understand why they need to get married, while Joey is excited to be on TV."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them. Ross Geller : If you wanna call that a reason. Chandler Bing : Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor. Monica Geller : Ross, I thought you were over this. Ross Geller : Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever. Rachel Green : Did I miss it? Did I miss it? Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself. Chandler Bing : Whoa, she's pretty. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.", "summary": "Monica and Ross are planning a party to celebrate their love for each other, but Ross is bitter about being invited because his ex-wife will be there. Chandler makes jokes about the situation, while Joey tries to impress the guests with his camera work and acting skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm sorry, what? Monica Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. Chandler Bing : Oh, ok. Joey Tribbiani : There's my scene, there's my scene. \"Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. Mrs. Wallace : Is she gonna be all right? Joey Tribbiani : I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..subcranial hematoma. Perhaps we can discuss this over coffee. Chandler Bing : Nice! Rachel Green : That's great! Ross Geller : Excellent!", "summary": "Mrs. Wallace's sister is suffering from a subcranial hematoma and Dr. Drake Ramoray (Joey) delivers the news over coffee."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something. Ross Geller : That is so good! Do it again! Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right. \"Damnit Braverman, it's right there on the chart!\" Chandler Bing : That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect. Ross Geller : No no, that's me. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, hello. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thanks. I couldn't uh... Ross Geller : Is everything ok? Phoebe Buffay : Um, no, huh-uh. One of my clients died on the massage table today.", "summary": "Chandler Bing mistakenly thinks Ross is trying to smell something, leading to a series of humorous interactions. Joey makes a comment about Braverman, and Phoebe reveals that one of her clients died on the massage table."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my god. Chandler Bing : That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, um, she was 82 years old. Her name was um, Mrs. Adelman. Monica Geller : Oh, honey. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, \"ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage.\" Little did she know God was thinking, \"Ok, but that's it.\" Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far. Rachel Green : What do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : I think it went into me. Monica Geller : God, this is so hard. I can't decide between lamb or duck. Chandler Bing : Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks. Rachel Green : Ok, who ordered what?", "summary": "Mrs. Adelman dies unexpectedly while receiving a massage, and her spirit enters Phoebe's body."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, I believe I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim. Chandler Bing : Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf? Rachel Green : Oh god. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you're so uptight about your mom comin'. Rachel Green : I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know? Phoebe Buffay : Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs, how long do you think this lady'll be with us? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. Sit up! Sandra Green : There she is. Rachel Green : Mom!", "summary": "Ross drinks a half-drunk cappuccino with lipstick on the rim, while Chandler questions if it's decaf. Rachel is anxious about her mom visiting and not wanting her to think her life is \"total crap\" because she didn't marry Barry. Phoebe listens to Stella Niedman's story for the hundredth time, and Joey wonders how long their guest will be with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandra Green : Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun. Rachel Green : Pretty much. Sandra Green : Monica! You look gorgeous! Last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten. Rachel Green : This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross. Sandra Green : Oh hello, Ross. Ross Geller : Hi, Mrs. Green. Sandra Green : So, what do you think of my daughter in the apron with the big job? Rachel Green : Oh Mom! Sandra Green : If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink. Chandler Bing : Believe me, sometimes that happens.", "summary": "Sandra visits Monica's apartment, which is also Rachel's workplace. She confuses it for a living room or restaurant and enjoys guessing what it is. Rachel introduces her to Joey, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross. Sandra compliments Monica on her job and pouring coffee, while Chandler shares an anecdote about someone not doing their job."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandra Green : This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you. Rachel Green : Really? Sandra Green : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, who's Evelyn Dermer? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Who's Soupy Sales? Sandra Green : Oh my god, there's an unattractive nude man playing the cello. Rachel Green : Yeah, well just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument. Sandra Green : You have some life here, sweetie. Rachel Green : I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know?", "summary": "Sandra Green is excited about never working and going straight from her father's house to a sorority house to her husband's house. Rachel Green compares Sandra to Evelyn Dermer before mentioning that she got a facelift and now looks like Soupy Sales. Joey Tribbiani does not know who Evelyn Dermer is, and Phoebe Buffay does not know who Soupy Sales is. Rachel Green says there is an unattractive nude man playing the cello, to which Sandra responds that he has a lot of life. Rachel explains that she knows her parents were upset when she didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with security but is happy with her decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandra Green : I do. You didn't love Barry. And I've never seen you this happy. I look at you and I think, oh, this is what I want. Rachel Green : For...me. Sandra Green : Well, not just for you. Rachel Green : Well, what do you mean? Sandra Green : I'm uh, considering leaving your father. Monica Geller : All right. Tell me if this is too cute. Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts. Rachel Green : Oh god. I think I'm gonna be sick. Monica Geller : Why? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them. Ross Geller : And you had no idea they weren't getting along? Rachel Green : None.", "summary": "Rachel and Sandra have a conversation about their feelings for each other, with Sandra considering leaving Rachel's father. Monica and Leslie make plans for a lesbian wedding, which makes Rachel uncomfortable. Ross expresses his surprise that Rachel had no idea Sandra and her father were not getting along."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : They didn't fight a lot? Rachel Green : No! They didn't even talk to each other. God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems? Phoebe Buffay : In my day, divorce was not an option. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, look who's up. Rachel Green : I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this. Monica Geller : Is there any chance that you can look at this as flattering? I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you. Rachel Green : Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut? Chandler Bing : You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true. Phoebe Buffay : That's him. Chandler Bing : Damn. My mail order grandfather hasn't come yet.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel discovers that her parents are getting a divorce and feels surprised and upset about it. Joey and Monica try to make light of the situation by joking about it, but Chandler's comment about blaming oneself for one's parents' divorce hits a nerve with Rachel. Phoebe shares her own experience with divorce and tries to offer support to Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Adelman : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, hi, Mr. Adelman. Thanks for meeting me. Mr. Adelman : Oh, that's all right, although you did cut into my busy day of sitting. Phoebe Buffay : Um, do you wanna sit? Mr. Adelman : Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me. Mr. Adelman : You're saying, my wife is in you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around? Mr. Adelman : Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything. Phoebe Buffay : Everything?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay meets with Mr. Adelman, who is confused after Phoebe reveals that his wife's spirit is stuck inside of her. Phoebe believes that the wife's unfinished business is the reason she's still around, and Mr. Adelman can only think of one thing his wife always wanted to do before she died: see everything."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Adelman : Everything. Phoebe Buffay : Whoa, that's a lot of stuff. Mr. Adelman : Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head. Mr. Adelman : Worth a shot, huh? Sandra Green : Look at this. Rachel Green : These are from Halloween three years ago. Sandra Green : Oh, look, here's Barry. Did he have to come straight from the office? Rachel Green : No, that was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist. Monica Geller : Um, you guys, you know when I said before, \"thank you, but I don't really need your help\"?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay wants to sleep with Mr. Adelman one last time, while Rachel Green finds old Halloween costumes and learns that Barry (a regular dentist) came straight from the office. Monica Geller clarifies her previous statement about not needing help."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Actually, what I think you said was, \"don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen.\" Monica Geller : Really? Weird. Anyway, see, I planned everything really well. I planned and I planned and I planned. It just turns out, I don't think I planned enough time to actually do it. Rachel Green : Hey, Mon, you want some help? Monica Geller : If you want. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty. Rachel Green : She's still with you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. Oh, such a pretty face. Sandra Green : This is so much fun, just the girls. You know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana? Rachel Green : God! Monica Geller : All right, look, nobody's smoking pot around all this food.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss a conversation they had earlier where Monica said \"don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen.\" They then plan to help Phoebe with her traveling adventures. Sandra joins them and suggests doing drugs."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandra Green : That's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex? Rachel Green : Oh! What's new in sex? Sandra Green : The only man I've ever been with is your father. Monica Geller : I'm dicing, I'm dicing, I don't hear anything. Sandra Green : I mean, this is no offense to your dad, sweetie, but I was thinking there might be more. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing? Sandra Green : No. Rachel Green : You want me to talk you out of it? Sandra Green : No. Rachel Green : Then what? What do you want?", "summary": "Sandra Green reveals to Rachel Green that she has had a past sexual relationship with Rachel's father, Monica Geller. Rachel is shocked and uncomfortable by this revelation, and the conversation ends abruptly."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandra Green : I guess I just figured of all people you would understand this. Rachel Green : Why on earth would I understand this? Sandra Green : You didn't marry your Barry. I did. Rachel Green : Oh. Monica Geller : All right people, we're in trouble here. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. Move, move, move! Chandler Bing : Monica, I feel like you should have German subtitles. Monica Geller : Joey, speed it up! Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets! Phoebe Buffay : Monica, how did this happen? I thought you had this all planned out. Monica Geller : Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want? Do you wanna see me cry?", "summary": "Sandra and Rachel have a misunderstanding about their respective relationships. Monica is in a rush to get everything ready for a party they are hosting. Chandler makes a comment about German subtitles. Joey has issues with getting blankets for the pigs. Phoebe questions how Monica managed to mess up the planning of the party."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Sir! No sir! Monica Geller : All right, you! Ross Geller : No. Look, I told you I am not a part of this thing. Monica Geller : All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called \"pigs in Ross\". All right, ball the melon. Chandler Bing : Hey! How come I'm stuck dicing, when he gets to ball the melon. Monica Geller : Hi. Carol Willick : How's it going? Monica Geller : It's goin' great. Right on schedule. Got my little happy helpers. Carol Willick : Fine, whatever. Ross Geller : What's the matter?", "summary": "Monica wants Ross to help her cook for a party, but he refuses, citing his issues with Carol and Susan. Chandler joins in, feeling left out, and Monica retorts by saying she will create a new dish using hot dogs called \"pigs in Ross.\" The conversation continues with Monica and Carol discussing the progress of their cooking, while Chandler expresses frustration at being sidelined."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : You're still gonna pay me, right? Or something a little less selfish. Ross Geller : Carol, what's the matter? What happened? Carol Willick : My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming. Ross Geller : Oh my god. Carol Willick : I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything. Ross Geller : It's ok. I'm sorry. Carol Willick : And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do. Ross Geller : I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.", "summary": "Ross and Carol are calling off their wedding after Carol's parents unexpectedly backed out, leading to a fight between the two brides-to-be."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : You do? Ross Geller : Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this. Carol Willick : Of course I do. Ross Geller : Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it. Carol Willick : You're right. Of course you're right. Monica Geller : So we're back on? Carol Willick : We're back on. Monica Geller : You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes. Joey Tribbiani : It just seems so futile, you know ? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly. Chandler Bing : Well now you understand how I feel every single day, ok? The world is my lesbian wedding.", "summary": "Ross and Carol are getting married despite objections from Carol's parents. Ross is determined to go through with the wedding, even if it means disowning his own parents. Monica is excited to be a part of the ceremony, while Joey feels hopeless about finding love. Chandler jokes about being at a lesbian wedding, but ultimately feels left out and unhappy."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Butterscotch? No one? All right, you'll be sorry later. Carol Willick : Thank you. Ross Geller : Any time. Carol Willick : Ross. Minister : You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go. Monica Geller : Would you look at them? Ross Geller : Yeah, can't help but. Joey Tribbiani : How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? I wrapped those bad boys. Phoebe Buffay : I miss Rose.", "summary": "Marriage between Carol and Susan, with Phoebe's reaction; Ross and Monica attend."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah? Phoebe Buffay : I know it's kind of weird, but I mean, she was a big part of my life there, you know, and now I just feel kind of alone. Woman : You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, that's so nice. Chandler Bing : I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? Rachel Green : Hey, Mom? Having fun? Sandra Green : Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options. Rachel Green : There's more alcohol, right? Susan Bunch : How you doin'? Ross Geller : Ok.", "summary": "Rose is a big part of Phoebe's life, but now she feels alone after her departure. A woman offers to get Phoebe a drink and forget about Rose, but Chandler discourages Phoebe from moving on. Rachel and Sandra have fun at the buffet, with Rachel asking for more alcohol and Susan greeting Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : You did a good thing today. Ross Geller : Yeah. Susan Bunch : You wanna dance? Ross Geller : No, that's fine. Susan Bunch : Come on. I'll let you lead. Ross Geller : Ok. Chandler Bing : All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. Monica Geller : Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married? Ross Geller : Well, Mon, I was married. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, me, too, technically.", "summary": "Ross did a good thing today. Susan wants to dance with him but he declines. She pressures him into leading and they start dancing. Chandler makes a comment about marriage, and Monica jokes that one of them will be the first to get married again."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I had a wedding. Monica Geller : All right, just trying to start an interesting discussion. Joey Tribbiani : I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? Chandler Bing : Isn't Ben in this? #ALL# : Oh, yeah! Ross Geller : That commercial always makes me so sad. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK. Ross Geller : I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel. Phoebe Buffay : I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. Monica Geller : And the fact that they're both monkeys.", "summary": "A discussion ensues about weddings, with Rachel revealing she recently got married. Joey wonders who will be the last to get married among them, while Chandler mentions Ben being in a commercial. Ross brings up a sad commercial featuring a monkey, which Phoebe agrees reminds her of Marcel due to their similar physical features."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, ya know, giving him away. Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding. Ross Geller : Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got. Chandler Bing : Rhythm? Joey Tribbiani : No, my first fan mail. #ALL# : Alright! Monica Geller : 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.' Rachel Green : Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.", "summary": "Ross wonders if he made the right decision in giving his pet monkey away, bringing up memories of its mischievous behavior, including borrowing Rachel's hat and leaving little monkey raisins in it. Chandler has a funny story about when he did the same thing to his boss's hat, but his own attempt at mimickry leads to an attitude problem. Joey receives fan mail, while Monica is shocked by a letter from an admirer who includes 14 of her eyelashes as a token of their affection."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god, I got my very own stalker. Ross Geller : Hey guys. #ALL# : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake? Ross Geller : Well, there's this, uh, paleontology conference in L.A. so I figured I'd go and then drive down to the zoo and surprise Marcel. Chandler Bing : You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know. Hello.", "summary": "Monica receives an anonymous package at her apartment, which prompts Joey to worry about having a stalker. Ross arrives and interrupts their conversation. He then reveals that he is attending a paleontology conference in L.A. and plans to visit the zoo to surprise his pet monkey, Marcel. Chandler jokes about Marcel's ability to feel surprised. Meanwhile, Phoebe tells the group about a cute guy who has been visiting her apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rob : Hi. I'm Rob Dohnen. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Rob Dohnen. Rob : I don't know anything about music, but I think you're really, really great. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wow. Rob : Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner? Chandler Bing : Well we could just stay in and cook for ourselves. Chandler Bing : Hello. Erica Ford : It's Erica.", "summary": "Rob Dohnen thinks Phoebe Buffay is great despite knowing nothing about music. He schedules performers for children's libraries around the city and suggests she play songs for kids. Phoebe expresses interest in writing songs for children. Joey Tribbiani joins the conversation, suggesting they cook dinner together, while Chandler Bing enters with a friendly greeting."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ah, the stalker. Erica Ford : Never mind, it's open. Chandler Bing : Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon. Joey Tribbiani : Let's get out of here. Chandler Bing : The one time they're not home. Joey Tribbiani : OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. Chandler Bing : That's how radio stars escape stalkers. Joey Tribbiani : She's comin'. Erica Ford : It's me. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler come up with a plan to escape a stalker, Erica Ford, but their attempts are foiled when she unexpectedly reveals herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Wait, wait, wait. Erica Ford : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Erica. Dean Lipson : Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question. Ross Geller : Well, I uh, I can't seem to find the monkey I donated last year. He's a capuchan, answers to the name Marcel. Dean Lipson : Ahh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on. Ross Geller : Oh my God, what happened? Dean Lipson : Well he got sick, and then he got sicker, and then he got a little better but then he died. Ross Geller : I can't believe this. Dean Lipson : I'm sorry Mr. Geller. But ya know, there's an old saying, 'Sometimes monkeys die.' It's not a great saying but it certainly is fitting today.", "summary": "Marcel, a capuchin monkey donated by Ross, dies at the zoo after getting sick and then sicker."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, ya know, someone should have called me. Dean Lipson : I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't bring him back but here, it's just a gesture. Ross Geller : Zoo dollars? Dean Lipson : Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died. Kids : Ooohhh. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Monica Geller : I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like. Chandler Bing : Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.", "summary": "A man named Ross Geller laments that no one called him after his monkey died. A person named Dean Lipson offers to give him money for a zoo and invites him to see a bird show with hats worn by macaws. Another person named Phoebe Buffay expresses sympathy, as does Monica Geller, who is shocked that her brother Joey is having lunch with his stalker, who looks nothing like Kathy Bates in Misery."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And she's not crazy? Chandler Bing : Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this. Chandler Bing : Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac. Rob : You OK? Phoebe Buffay : No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear. Rob : That's not a good idea, that's kinda the reason the last guy got fired. Phoebe Buffay : I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me? Ross Geller : I was thinkin' about it.", "summary": "Joey is mistaken for Dr. Drake Remore by a woman who believes in magic. Chandler supports her, while Monica and Rachel are skeptical. Phoebe tries to help by picturing them in their underwear but gets nervous. Ross considers kissing her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : OK. OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe #ALL# : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la... Erica Ford : Oh, Drake, isn't it amazing? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah it is. . . what? Erica Ford : Well, here we sit, devil may care, just a little while ago you were reattaching someone's spinal cord. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites. Erica Ford : Who's they? Joey Tribbiani : No one. Erica Ford : Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.", "summary": "Grandma died and moved to Peru. Phoebe sang songs about her. Joey and Erica talked about an operation he performed."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Good, otherwise my watch would fall off. Erica Ford : No, seriously. These hands. These miracle, magical, life-giving hands. Oh, just to be near them, touch them, maybe even lick one? Joey Tribbiani : Alright, just one. Wow, you're good at that. Waiter : Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor? Erica Ford : Well, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Remore. Janitor : Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes. Ross Geller : Uhh, hey look, I don't really enjoy being with other men that way. But, um, zoo dollars? Janitor : It's about your monkey. It's alive. Erica Ford : I don't understand, why didn't you help that man? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Erica Ford engage in a bizarre conversation about hands and touching them. A waiter interrupts to inform them that someone is choking, but no one seems to know how to help. The situation escalates when Janitor mentions that it's about Joey's monkey, which is alive. Erica expresses confusion over why no one helped the choking man, and Joey reveals that he's a neurosurgeon and the case was actually foodal chokage."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica Ford : No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore? Joey Tribbiani : But that's what... Erica Ford : I should just be happy to be near you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey I- Erica Ford : Hey what? Joey Tribbiani : That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! Hey. He-hey. Phoebe Buffay : There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do. Monica Geller : Excellent! Chandler Bing : Very informative! Rachel Green : Not at all inappropriate!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Erica have a conversation about their feelings towards each other, while Phoebe gives advice on how to deal with people who may try to use sex to gain approval. Monica and Chandler listen in on the conversation and find it interesting."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back. Rob : That was great, the kids loved you. Phoebe Buffay : Yay, I rock. Rob : And you know why? Because you told the truth, and nobody ever tells kids the truth.You were incredible. Phoebe Buffay : But. Rob : How did you know there was a but? Phoebe Buffay : I sense these things. It was either but or butter. Rob : The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hopin' that you'd play more songs about like, barnyard animals. Phoebe Buffay : I can do that. Rob : Really?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Phoebe Buffay's performance for a group of children, with Rob praising her for being honest and entertaining the kids. Phoebe expresses her ability to sense things and offers to play more songs, including ones about barnyard animals."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rob : Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me? Phoebe Buffay : Thinkin' about it. Janitor : Ahh, the bat. Ambassador of darkness, flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger, sightless spectre of the macabe. Ross Geller : Buddy, my monkey? Janitor : Oh, yeah, right. There was a break-in, few months back, inside job. Your monkey was taken. Ross Geller : Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead. Janitor : The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya? Ross Geller : That, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me. Janitor : Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?", "summary": "A break-in occurred at Ross's monkey enclosure at the zoo, and the monkey is believed to be alive despite the zoo telling Ross it was dead. The janitor suggests that the zoo is covering up the incident for bad publicity."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That guy Lipson? Janitor : Lipson knows. Do you have any idea who else knows? Ross Geller : No, I, I only know Lipson. Janitor : Hmm, Lipson knows huh? Ahh, hello Mr. Opossum, enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night, taunting gravity with... Ross Geller : Buddy, my monkey, my monkey. Janitor : Word on the street - well, when I say street, I mean those little pretend streets they have here at the zoo. Ross Geller : Of course. Janitor : Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know. Ross Geller : This is unbelievable. Janitor : So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?", "summary": "Ross discovers that Lipson, a janitor at the zoo, knows something about his monkey's new career in entertainment. The conversation between Ross and the janitor is cryptic and full of odd references, suggesting that there may be more to the story than what is initially revealed."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Are you trying to get me to bribe you? Janitor : Maybe. Ross Geller : But you already told me everything. Ross Geller : Check it out, he actually is the MonkeyShine monkey. Rachel Green : Well, so what're you gonna do? Ross Geller : Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is. Chandler Bing : That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales. Phoebe Buffay : OK, hi again. #ALL# : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!", "summary": "Ross tries to bribe a janitor who may have information about his missing MonkeyShine monkey. Rachel and Chandler discuss their past experiences with lost items, while Phoebe sings songs about barnyard animals."}
-{"dialogues": "Tv Doctor : You're the only one who can save her Drake. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God. Ross Geller : Well, there goes my whole belief system. Erica Ford : It's Erica. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, quick turn off the TV. Rachel Green : No no no, wait, I wanna see what happens. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out. Rachel Green : Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina? Monica Geller : Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Erica, c'mon in.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is a neuro-surgeon who must save his love interest Leslie from a coma."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica Ford : How did you get here so fast, I just saw you in Salem? Joey Tribbiani : Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up? Erica Ford : Ohh, and I see you're having a little party too. Is she here, huh, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Who? Erica Ford : Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge. Joey Tribbiani : It's not what you think, that was... Erica Ford : You told me I was the only one. Joey Tribbiani : Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor. Erica Ford : Oh my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this? Joey Tribbiani : Somebody wanna help me out here?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is having a secret party while pretending to be a doctor at the hospital where he works. Erica Ford arrives and confronts him about his deception, revealing that she saw him kissing Sabrina in the doctor's lounge earlier. Joey tries to explain and ends up confessing that he is not a real doctor, but an actor who pretends to be one."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I know, I know. Erica Ford : How, how can you be here and there. Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause it's a television show. Erica Ford : Drake, what're you getting at? Joey Tribbiani : I'm not Drake. Ross Geller : That's right, he's not Drake, he's Hans Remore, Drake's evil twin. Erica Ford : Is this true? Rachel Green : Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. Monica Geller : And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. Chandler Bing : And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard.", "summary": "Rachel Green has a conversation with Erica Ford about Joey Tribbiani pretending to be Drake to sleep with her, while actually being Hans Remore, Drake's evil twin. Ross Geller confirms that this is true and reveals that Joey pretended to be Drake to sleep with Monica Geller as well. Chandler Bing joins the conversation and adds that he left the toilet seat up after using it."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica Ford : Is all this true? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you. Erica Ford : Oh Hans. Ross Geller : Hans...Hans...Yo evil twin. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Goodbye Erica, good luck in Salem. Take care Erica Ford : I'll never forget you Hans. Joey Tribbiani : OK, alright, the people who threw the water. Phoebe Buffay : Fired! Why? Rob : The library board has had a lot of complaints from parents about some of the stuff in your songs. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?", "summary": "Erica falls in love with Drake but he is replaced by Hans, who Erica believes is the real love of her life. Joey tries to convince Erica that Hans is not the one for her and she should find the real Drake instead. Phoebe's songs are deemed inappropriate for children due to complaints from parents, leading to her being fired."}
-{"dialogues": "Rob : No. Phoebe Buffay : I see. Rob : Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs. Phoebe Buffay : No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur? Rob : I'm not saying you have to be Barney. Phoebe Buffay : Who's Barney. Ross Geller : Well, I tracked down Marcel and get this, he's healthy, he's happy, and he's right here in New York filming Outbreak II - The Virus Takes Manhattan. Rachel Green : You're kidding. Joey Tribbiani : This is amazing. Ross Geller : I know.", "summary": "Rob and Phoebe argue over music preferences; Ross finds Marcel, a former friend from college who is now starring in a movie called \"Outbreak II - The Virus Takes Manhattan.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's makin' movies. Phoebe Buffay : OK, Rachel, I'm ready. Rachel Green : OK. Kid : Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth? Phoebe Buffay : Um, yeah I guess that's me. Kid : She's here. Phoebe Buffay : Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la... Ross Geller : This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year. Chandler Bing : What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre? Security Guard : C'mon people, back up please, back up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon.", "summary": "Ross has not seen his pet monkey in a year and is excited to see it on TV. Phoebe is a singer who sometimes talks about sexuality and gender identity. A child asks if she is the singing lady who tells the truth, and Phoebe confirms. Security guards try to remove people from the area."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh, excuse me, uh, where can we find the monkey? Security Guard : I'm sorry guys, closed set. Ross Geller : Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together. Security Guard : Yeah, and I have a time share in the Pocanos with Flipper. Monica Geller : Ross, there he is. Ross Geller : Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... Security Guard : Uh, excuse me folks this is a uhh... Joey Tribbiani : Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. Ross Geller : Good morning. Hey pal, look who I brought. It's your old friend Harry Elefante. Joey Tribbiani : Woah, dude, burn.", "summary": "Ross and Monica try to find a monkey on a closed set, but Security Guard denies them access. Ross claims to be friends with the monkey, while Joey makes a joke about Harry Elefante."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't get it, he seemed so happy to see me yesterday. Trainer : Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all. Rachel Green : Now just how big of a star is Marcel? Trainer : In human terms, I'd say Cybill Shepard. #ALL# : Woah. Chandler Bing : So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid. Director's Assistant : Hey Sal, Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready for the subway set? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he? Director's Assistant : The one in the director's chair. Joey Tribbiani : Gotcha. Phoebs, walk with me.", "summary": "Ross is confused when his friend seems happy to see someone else instead of him. A trainer explains that the person is under pressure from starring in a movie and offers a comparison to Cybill Shepard in human terms. Chandler asks if the people in the conversation are in the movie, while a director's assistant deals with a subway set and a monkey. Joey clarifies who Jerry is, the director, and Phoebe walks with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'? Susie Moss : We've got a problem. Director's Assistant : Tell me. Susie Moss : I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche. Director's Assistant : Is it bad? Susie Moss : It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan. Director's Assistant : I'll talk to her. Susie Moss : I hate actors. Chandler Bing : Nice camoflauge man, for a minute there I almost didn't see ya.", "summary": "The gang is trying to avoid a flesh-eating virus that is spreading in the city. Susie Moss has a problem with an actor's makeup, specifically their moustache, which looks like one of their eyebrows fell down. The director's assistant tries to convince the actor to let Susie bleach it, or else Jean-Claude Van Damme will be making out with Gabe Kaplan. Chandler Bing comments on the camouflage."}
-{"dialogues": "Susie Moss : Excuse me. Chandler Bing : Ahhhh. Susie Moss : Uh, is your name Chandler? Chandler Bing : Uh, yes, yes it is. Susie Moss : Chandler Bing? Chandler Bing : Do you know me or are you just really good at this game? Susie Moss : I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. Chandler Bing : Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up. Susie Moss : It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it. Chandler Bing : Oh, right, well yeah, I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp.", "summary": "Susie Moss recognizes Chandler Bing from her fourth-grade class, but he doesn't remember her. She recounts her old habit of carrying around a box of animal crackers like a purse. Chandler is taken aback and compliments Susie on growing up well, before revealing that he has moved beyond his fourth-grade persona as a \"pimp.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Susie Moss : Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants. Chandler Bing : Yes, back then I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank God I don't do that anymore. Monica Geller : Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Rachel Green : What what what what? Monica Geller : Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot. Rachel Green : Ya think? Monica Geller : The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop? Rachel Green : No, was he any good in it? Monica Geller : Rachel, he like, totally changed time. Rachel Green : Wow, so why don't you go talk to him?", "summary": "Remembered incident from past where Chandler Bing exposed Susie Moss's underwear during a class play, which he defended with humor. Monica Geller reacts in shock and excitement about Jean-Claude Van Damme being hot. Rachel Green joins in on the conversation and questions why Monica didn't talk to him at Time Cop movie."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, yeah. Rachel Green : What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen? Monica Geller : He could hear me. Rachel Green : OK, I'm doin' it for ya. Monica Geller : Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook. Rachel Green : Excuse me. Hi. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Hi. Rachel Green : Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute. Jean-Claude Van Damme : You don't think I'm cute? Rachel Green : I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel try to help Jean-Claude Van Damme by telling him that their friend thinks he's cute, but things get complicated when Jean-Claude asks if Monica and Rachel think he's cute too."}
-{"dialogues": "Jean-Claude Van Damme : You can tell her I think her friend is cute. Chandler Bing : No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows. Susie Moss : OK, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating? Chandler Bing : OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money. Susie Moss : Oh that's me, I gotta go. Chandler Bing : Oh uh, o, OK. Susie Moss : Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date. Chandler Bing : Well, uh, let's try one more. . . there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock. Susie Moss : I'll be there, and who knows, if things go well, maybe this time I'll get to see your underwear. Chandler Bing : No one was around to hear that?", "summary": "Plot Summary:\n* Jean-Claude Van Damme thinks Susie Moss's friend is cute.\n* Chandler Bing corrects Jean-Claude and provides more information about Susie Moss's friends.\n* Susie Moss asks Chandler if he wants to go on a date with her, and he agrees to meet her at Ernie's at 8 o'clock.\n* Susie makes a suggestive comment about seeing Chandler's underwear if things go well on the date."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So what'd he say? Rachel Green : Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no. Monica Geller : Well, thanks anyway. Rachel Green : He just kept asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking. Monica Geller : Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do... Rachel Green : Jean-Claude she said yes, I'll see you tonight. Thank you. Rachel Green : And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore. Joey Tribbiani : Oh man, she's so smokin, she has got the greatest set of. . . no guys around, huh. Rachel Green : Does anybody need anything? Monica Geller : Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel talk about a guy named Jean-Claude who kept asking Rachel out despite her repeated rejections. Rachel reluctantly agrees to go out with him, and they end up hanging out at a place called Crossroads with Drew Barrymore. Joey ogles over Drew's appearance, while Monica makes a sarcastic comment about Jean-Claude and offers to get her an espresso."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : That is so unfair. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme. Ross Geller : Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours. Joey Tribbiani : You're blowin' me off for a monkey? Ross Geller : Hey, we can rescedule for Saturday. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons. Chandler Bing : Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done. Phoebe Buffay : Stick a fork what? Chandler Bing : Like, when you're cooking a steak. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, OK, I don't eat meat.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe disagree over something unfair, while Ross cancels racketball plans to spend time with Marcel's trainer. Joey is uninterested in playing racketball and Chandler makes a comment about being done. Phoebe explains her vegetarianism."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done? Phoebe Buffay : Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell. Chandler Bing : OK, then, eat me, I'm done. Chandler Bing : I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?' Monica Geller : What did you say? Chandler Bing : Ahh, I believe my exact words were, 'Flaign,en - sten'. I mean I didn't know what to say, how do you know if you wanna do it on an elevator? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you just know. Susie Moss : Oh, shoot, we gotta go, got a reservation in 30 minutes. Chandler Bing : Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops. Susie Moss : Oh, 200 seconds of passion. We gotta go.", "summary": "Chandler meets a woman and they engage in sexual activity, but she then asks him if he wants to do it in an elevator. Confused, Chandler responds with nonsensical words before realizing they need to leave for their reservation in 30 minutes."}
-{"dialogues": "Susie Moss : But um, here's an idea, have you ever worn women's underwear? Chandler Bing : Well, ye, yes, actually, but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's, and there were three of us in there. Susie Moss : Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner. Chandler Bing : You want me to wear your panties? Susie Moss : Could ya? Chandler Bing : Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell. Ross Geller : OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake. Joey Tribbiani : Oooh. Ross Geller : With mealworms. Joey Tribbiani : Yaaahhh. Ahhh, candles. What'dya thinks gonna happen here tonight?", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Susie Moss engage in an awkward conversation about wearing each other's underwear, with Chandler expressing hesitation and confusion. Meanwhile, Ross Geller has brought his favorite dish, banannacake, to dinner, which Joey Tribbiani is excited about but also nervous about the potential consequences."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye. Phoebe Buffay : OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first. Rachel Green : Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set? Phoebe Buffay : Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share... Monica Geller : Ya know, you had no right to go out with him. Rachel Green : That is the most ridiculous. Monica Geller : You sold me out. Rachel Green : I did not sell you out. Monica Geller : Yes you did. Absolutely. Rachel Green : Would you let me talk.", "summary": "Ross tries to start a conversation with someone but is interrupted by Phoebe and Rachel, who begin arguing about their feelings towards each other. Monica joins in, adding her own opinions and insults. The conversation quickly escalates into a heated argument, with no resolution or clear plot development."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Did you just flick me? Rachel Green : OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- Ow. That hurt Monica Geller : Quit flicking Rachel Green : Ow, you stop flicking. Monica Geller : You flicked me first. Phoebe Buffay : OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass. Monica Geller : Ow. Ow. Ow. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, now I will let go if you both stop. Rachel Green : Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want? Monica Geller : Uh-huh.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over who flicked whom. Phoebe threatens to fight them both. Monica wants Rachel to stop seeing her boyfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want? Monica Geller : OK. Rachel Green : Oh that's what you want. Monica Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : Fine. Monica Geller : Fine, Phoebe Buffay : There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches. Ross Geller : Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Forget about it. Susie Moss : How you doin there squirmy?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica have a conversation about telling someone (presumably Ross) that they are seeing them instead. Phoebe makes a comment about them being \"bitches\" in prison. Ross joins the group and is thanked for tagging along. Susie Moss makes a comment to Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'm hangin in. . . and a little out. Joey Tribbiani : So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities. Director's Assistant : I have nothing to do with casting. Joey Tribbiani : So what're you guys gonna eat? Susie Moss : How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over? Chandler Bing : Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it. Susie Moss : I want you right here, right now. Chandler Bing : Right now, right here. Don't ya think we're in kind of a public plaaaa They do have the shrimp. Susie Moss : Meet me in the bathroom. Chandler Bing : I'm going to the bathroom now.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are at a party where they meet Susie, the director's assistant. Susie expresses her desire for Chandler, while Chandler and Joey discuss their lack of plans for food. The conversation turns sexual as Susie invites Chandler to meet her in the bathroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Susie Moss : C'mon. Chandler Bing : I can't believe we're doing this. Susie Moss : Alright mister, let's see those panties. Chandler Bing : Alrighty. Susie Moss : Ooh. Ooh. But ya know what would be even sexier? Chandler Bing : What? Susie Moss : If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them. Chandler Bing : Oh. Susie Moss : Alright. Now I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. Take your clothes off. Chandler Bing : OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.", "summary": "Susie Moss and Chandler Bing are discussing a game or activity involving panties. Susie suggests that Chandler should remove his shirt before putting on the panties."}
-{"dialogues": "Susie Moss : C'mon hurry, hurry. Chandler Bing : Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right? Susie Moss : Alright, turn around. Time to see you from behind. Chandler Bing : OK. Susie Moss : Oh, somebody's been doing his buns of steel video. Chandler Bing : Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie. Susie Moss : This is for the fourth grade. Chandler Bing : Huh? Where, whaddya mean? Susie Moss : Whaddo I mean. Whaddya mean, whaddo I mean? I mean underpants, mister, that's what I mean. Chandler Bing : What, what's what you mean?", "summary": "Susie Moss wants something done quickly but also done well, while Chandler Bing is confused and unsure of what she means."}
-{"dialogues": "Susie Moss : My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18. Chandler Bing : That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that? Susie Moss : Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. Chandler Bing : Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back. Monica Geller : I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? Can you beat up that guy? Jean-Claude Van Damme : Sure. Monica Geller : This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Normally, I would not do it. Monica Geller : Well, what made you make the exception for me? Jean-Claude Van Damme : 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...", "summary": "Susie Moss was teased in the fourth grade for wearing underpants on her skirt, and is still upset about it 20 years later. Chandler Bing makes fun of her, but offers to return the underpants if she wants them. Monica Geller goes on a blind date with Jean-Claude Van Damme, who agrees to beat up the man she is currently dating."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Say you're sorry. Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Say it. Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it. Rachel Green : OK, OK, that is my favorite sweater, that is my third date sweater. Monica Geller : Say you're sorry. Rachel Green : OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. Monica Geller : What're you gonna do? Rachel Green : You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.", "summary": "Rachel refuses to say sorry to Monica, leading to a series of wagers and challenges involving their belongings."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You don't have the guts. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute. Phoebe Buffay : Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place? Phoebe Buffay : Yes that's right. But still, I-, look at your purse, look at your sweater, look at yourselves. Monica Geller : I'll help you fix your sweater. Rachel Green : I'll help you throw out your purse. Monica Geller : I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him. Rachel Green : Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him. Monica Geller : I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves Chandler Bing : Joey?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over a guy they both liked, while Phoebe tries to intervene. They eventually make up and focus on other topics, including Monica's borrowed gloves."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ma? Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off. Chandler Bing : Oh, no no no, she took off with my clothes. Joey Tribbiani : Are you naked in there? Chandler Bing : Not exactly. . . I'm wearin panties. Joey Tribbiani : Huh, you uh, you always wear panties? Chandler Bing : No, no, this is the first time. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes. Chandler Bing : I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss how Joey's roommate took off with Chandler's clothes, leaving him naked. Chandler reveals that it was the first time he had worn panties, and Joey jokes about his bad luck."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, let me see. Chandler Bing : No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, alright. Woah, someone's flossing. Ross Geller : Joey, some people don't like that. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler's wearing panties. Ross Geller : What? Let me see. Chandler Bing : No, no, you don't have to see. Ross Geller : Hi Tushie. Chandler Bing : Alright, one of you give me your underpants. Joey Tribbiani : Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over seeing each other's underwear, while Ross tries to intervene."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : How can you not be wearing any underwear? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong. Chandler Bing : Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants. #ALL# : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you? Phoebe Buffay : I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie. Ross Geller : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye. Ross Geller : Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.", "summary": "Joey is in a hot pink thong, causing Chandler to offer Ross $50 for his underwear. Phoebe is almost done with the milk and Joey is in a movie despite being \"dead\" due to a virus victim calling in sick."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Ross Geller : What? Jean-Claude Van Damme : I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, or you and me. Drew was very disappointed. Rachel Green : OK, well, bye. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Goodbye. Monica Geller : Well, bye for me too. Rachel Green : OK, well, bye-bye again. Monica Geller : OK. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Perhaps, uh, the three of us, just could. . . Monica Geller : Oh, no no no no no.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe have a conversation about something, while Jean-Claude Van Damme tries to join in but is rejected by both Ross and Phoebe. Rachel interrupts and exits, followed by Monica. Jean-Claude makes another attempt at joining in, but Monica rejects him as well."}
-{"dialogues": "Jean-Claude Van Damme : Are you sure, I can crush a walnut with my butt. Monica Geller : No no no no. Rachel Green : Impressive. Monica Geller : But no. Maybe if I were baking. Monica Geller : Bye-bye. Ross Geller : Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy. Phoebe Buffay : You know, I think I want to write a song about all this. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string? Chandler Bing : How long you been waitin' to say that?", "summary": "Jean-Claude Van Damme tries to crush a walnut with his butt, Monica Geller disagrees, Rachel Green finds it impressive, and Monica Geller suggests maybe she could do it while baking. Ross Geller says goodbye to Marcel, Phoebe Buffay wants to write a song about the conversation, and Chandler Bing offers his G-string to Phoebe after waiting a long time to say so."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : About 20 minutes. CLOSING CREDITS Jean-Claude Van Damme : Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying. Joey Tribbiani : Aaaaagggghhhhh. Director : Cut. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying. Joey Tribbiani : Aaaaagggghhhhh. Director : Cut. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying. Joey Tribbiani : Aaaaagggghhhhh. Mommy Director : Cut.", "summary": "Man dies."}
-{"dialogues": "Jean-Claude Van Damme : Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Hold on a second. Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope. Chandler Bing : What's this? Joey Tribbiani : Eight hundred and twelve bucks. Chandler Bing : Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man. Chandler Bing : Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me.", "summary": "Chandler discovers an envelope with $812 from Joey, who claims to have made money and wants to pay him back for various expenses. Chandler is confused and Joey explains that he is making money now and this is a little extra something for always being there for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Wow, I don't know what to say. Wow, I, I don't know what to say. Joey Tribbiani : Heh, what d'ya say? Chandler Bing : I don't know. It's a bracelet. Joey Tribbiani : Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out. Chandler Bing : To my best bud. Thanks best bud. Joey Tribbiani : Put it on. Chandler Bing : Oh, now? No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. You put this on, you're good to go. Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet. Chandler Bing : I so am. Joey Tribbiani : You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?", "summary": "Chandler receives a bracelet from Joey with an inscription to his \"best bud.\" Joey suggests Chandler wear it, but Chandler hesitates, feeling it should be saved for a special occasion. Joey convinces him to try it on and they both agree it goes well with everything. The exchange leads to a humorous discussion about the potential impact of the bracelet on Chandler's sex life."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track. Interviewer : Well, this all looks good. Monica Geller : Great. Interviewer : And if I want to call for a reference on your last job? Monica Geller : Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing. Interviewer : Alright, lets see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad. Monica Geller : A salad? Really I, I could do something a little more complicated if you like. Interviewer : No, just a salad will be fine. Monica Geller : You got it. Interviewer : Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.", "summary": "Monica Geller and Chandler Bing are at a job interview, with an interviewer asking them questions about their previous job and qualifications. Monica is tasked with making a salad for the interviewer, while Chandler is asked to provide references from his last job. The interviewer tests their skills by asking them to explain what they are doing while performing the task."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce. Interviewer : Uh-huh. Is it dirty? Monica Geller : Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it. Interviewer : Don't, I like it dirty. Monica Geller : That's your call. Interviewer : So, uh, what are you going to do next? Monica Geller : Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos. Interviewer : Are they, uh, firm? Monica Geller : They'r alright. Interviewer : You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?", "summary": "Monica Geller is preparing a salad and discusses her plans with an interviewer. The conversation revolves around the cleanliness of the lettuce and tomatoes, with Monica initially tearing the lettuce and then considering washing it before deciding not to, and the interviewer expressing a preference for dirty vegetables. The conversation then shifts to other topics, including the ripeness of the tomatoes and the interviewer's request for confirmation that they are not spoiled."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No really, they're OK. Interviewer : You gonna slice them up real nice? Monica Geller : Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne. Interviewer : Aaaahhhhhhh. Monica Geller : I'm outa here. Ross Geller : Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, some guy she met at the movies. Ross Geller : Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight. Ross Geller : I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.", "summary": "Monica plans to cook a nice julienne cut for her guests, but she is interrupted by an interviewer who becomes scared when Monica mentions slicing them up. Rachel is not present and Ross takes a message from someone named Casey. Chandler and Phoebe try to guess why Casey wants to talk to Rachel, while Ross struggles with the idea of taking messages from men she meets at the movies instead of being with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hang in there, it's gonna happen. Ross Geller : Wha, OK, now how do you know that? Phoebe Buffay : Because she's your lobster. Chandler Bing : Oh, she's goin' somewhere. Phoebe Buffay : C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . . Chandler Bing : Hey, you feelin' better? Monica Geller : Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me. Phoebe Buffay : So, do you have any other possibilities? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent. Ross Geller : Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.", "summary": "Lobsters fall in love and mate for life."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No no no, if I couldn't pay you back right away then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you. Ross Geller : Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them. Chandler Bing : Ya know, the man's got a point. Phoebe Buffay : What is that sparkly thing? Chandler Bing : That thing, it's a uhh. . . yeah it's, it's a little flashy. Ross Geller : No no, no no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella. Monica Geller : Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons. Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Judy Geller : Hi darling.", "summary": "Monica cannot pay back a loan to Ross immediately, so she feels guilty and tense around him. Chandler suggests borrowing money from their parents instead, which Monica is hesitant about. Phoebe finds a sparkly thing and asks what it is, and Ross teases her about it being flashy. Judy enters the conversation and greets everyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So, what's this. Ross Geller : Some of your old stuff. Judy Geller : Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym. Monica Geller : Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room? Ross Geller : Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them. Monica Geller : Oh, God forbid. Judy Geller : Oh, hi Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi. Judy Geller : Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear. Rachel Green : Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.", "summary": "Ross and Monica turn Rachel's old room into a gym without consulting her, while Judy tries to offer support by mentioning Rachel's parents' separation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii. Rachel Green : What, what incident? Ross Geller : Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. Phoebe Buffay : Do you want a refill? Chandler Bing : No, I'm alright, thanks. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now. Chandler Bing : I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's. Gail : I'm Gail. Chandler Bing : Chandler. Gail : I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their parents' unhappiness, while Phoebe tries to give Chandler a refill. Chandler then mentions Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's, before Gail leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap. Phoebe Buffay : It's not that bad. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. That's actually good. Ross Geller : Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha. Phoebe Buffay : I think she's OK. Ross Geller : Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. Excuse me, are you Rachel? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.", "summary": "Chandler gets a ridiculous gift from Joey, a woman repeller, and Phoebe defends it. Ross objects to Rachel pushing away potential suitors."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What are you, what are you doin'? Ross Geller : Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids. Man : Sure will. I've uh, gotta go. Take care. Ross Geller : OK, see ya later, nice meeting you. You're welcome. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I was saving you. Rachel Green : Saving, saving, saving me from the pleasant conversation with the interesting man, saving me? Ross Geller : Oh, see from where I was sitting I uh. . . Rachel Green : OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save. Ross Geller : But, you are.", "summary": "Ross tries to save Rachel from a conversation with an interesting man, but she insists that she can handle it herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster. Rachel Green : OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again? Ross Geller : No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing? Phoebe Buffay : Do the claws again. Ross Geller : Rach. OK, forget, forget the lobsters OK. We're, let's talk, what about us? Rachel Green : Ross, there is no us, OK. Ross Geller : No, but. . . Rachel Green : No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it. Ross Geller : Well, but, but. . .", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at a coffee shop, discussing their relationship. Ross says he considers her his \"lobster,\" but Rachel is uninterested in continuing their on-again, off-again romance. They argue and Rachel tells him she's tired of getting hurt and being clobbered (a term used by Joey to describe a punch or hit). Ross tries to convince her otherwise, but Rachel is firm in her decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that. Ross Geller : E-except, except that what? Rachel Green : No, no, ACC-cept that. Ross Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? OK, that's my bad. Joey Tribbiani : If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so. Chandler Bing : Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me? Joey Tribbiani : Well, what about the fact that you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me? Chandler Bing : OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. Joey Tribbiani : You know what the. . .", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about their relationship, while Chandler tries to defuse the tension with a game of basketball. Joey brings up past conflicts between Chandler and himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . Ross Geller : You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Judy Geller : Hi, darling. Where's my grandson, you didn't bring him? Ross Geller : No, he's at uh, Carol's and Susan's today. Ross Geller : A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying. Judy Geller : Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. Monica Geller : Where have you been? Ross Geller : Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet? Monica Geller : No, but that's probably 'cause I haven't asked them yet.", "summary": "Chandler Bing is mourning a lost love and holds up couch cushions in regret, while Ross Geller makes sexual comments about Steffi Graf's rear end. Judy Geller asks where her grandson is, and Ross mentions that he's with Carol and Susan. Ross also reveals that a woman in his office is lesbian, causing tension. Monica Geller returns from an unspecified location, and the group discusses whether she has borrowed money from them yet."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news. Monica Geller : Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it. Judy Geller : Why? Monica Geller : Because they made me. Judy Geller : You were fired? What're you gonna do? Ross Geller : Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go? Monica Geller : In the bank. Ross Geller : There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. Monica Geller : Anything larger back there? Chandler Bing : I can't believe it.", "summary": "Monica leaves her job after being fired."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay. Chandler Bing : Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. Rachel Green : Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? Phoebe Buffay : Hey now you have two. Oh, now you have two. Chandler Bing : What am I gonna do, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : How come you have two? Chandler Bing : Well this one's for you. Joey Tribbiani : Get out.", "summary": "Chandler spends money on a new bracelet, while Phoebe suggests he play in the hay instead. Rachel has found something that will make Chandler happy, but he's worried about having two of them now. Joey teases Chandler about having two, and Chandler gives one to Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, it's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler Bing : That's what they'll call us. Ross Geller : Here you go, you can pay me back whenever you like. Monica Geller : You have dinosaur checks? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something, what's wrong with that? Monica Geller : Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Mon, what is this? Monica Geller : Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then. Chandler Bing : Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are arguing over a bracelet. Ross offers to pay for it, but Monica has an old bathing suit that she uses as a makeshift gift wrap. Phoebe mistakes the bathing suit for something else."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica, what's on this video tape? Monica Geller : Hey, you got me, put it in. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Judy Geller : Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : What is with your nose? Rachel Green : They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum. Chandler Bing : OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel watch a home video tape together, leading to conversations about their past and present."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this. #ALL# : Oh yeah we do. C'mon. Judy Geller : Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica. Monica Geller : Over here dad. Ross Geller : Wait, how do you zoom out? There she is. Joey Tribbiani : Some girl ate Monica. Monica Geller : Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds. Chandler Bing : Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel prepare for prom, while Ross and Joey make jokes about the footage being taken. Judy wants a shot of Monica, but she is nowhere to be found. When Monica appears, Ross zooms in on her, causing Joey to make a comment about her weight. Chandler joins in with his own joke about the number of cameras filming them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, you look so great. Rachel Green : Ahh, so do you, beautiful. Monica Geller : Oops. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Shoot, I think I got mayonaise on you. Rachel Green : Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress. Ross Geller : Everybody smile. Monica Geller : Oh, dad, turn it off. Ross Geller : It is off. Monica Geller : Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel compliment each other, but Monica accidentally gets mayonnaise on Rachel's shoulder. When Ross tries to take a photo, Monica turns off the camera."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's the off light. Right Ross? Joey Tribbiani : Lookin' good Mr. Cotter. Ross Geller : You look pretty tonight. Rachel Green : Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer? Ross Geller : Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music. Rachel Green : Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . . Ross Geller : Uh, hold, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . . Rachel Green : Oh, the guys are here. Ross Geller : this summer? Chandler Bing : Work on your music?", "summary": "Ross plans to spend the summer working on his music, while Rachel struggles with her hook falling down constantly. Joey and Chandler make appearances, but their involvement in the conversation is limited."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God, look there's Roy Gublik. Monica Geller : Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper. Rachel Green : Where's Chip, why isn't he here yet? Roy : He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. Monica Geller : I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob. Rachel Green : I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late. Monica Geller : If you're not going then I don't want to go either. Roy : Oh, I'm gonna kick Chip's ass. Judy Geller : I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom. Ross Geller : Doubtful.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica run into Roy at their high school reunion, who reveals he saw Star Wars 317 times and his name was in the paper. Meanwhile, Rachel is stressing about finding a date for prom, and Monica reveals that Roy touched her breast. The group discusses the situation and Roy threatens to fight Chip. Judy suggests taking Rachel to prom as a solution, but Ross is skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : Jack, give me that. Talk to your son. Ross Geller : Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux. Ross Geller : Dad, she won't want to go with me. Ross Geller : Of course she would, you're a college man. Ross Geller : I don't know. Ross Geller : Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out? Rachel Green : I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh. Ross Geller : OK. Hold my board. Ross Geller : Atta boy. Ross Geller : OK, you guys, ya know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.", "summary": "Ross is convinced to take his mother Judy to prom instead of Rachel, much to Rachel's dismay."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : No, no, no. Ross Geller : OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright. Ross Geller : C'mon kid, let's go. Judy Geller : Ahh, are you hadsome. Ross Geller : Let's show 'em. Ross Geller : Uh, just a sec dad. OK, be cool, just be cool. OK dad. Ross Geller : Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. Chip Matthews : Bye. Judy Geller : Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off? Ross Geller : Press the button.", "summary": "Ross tries to avoid watching a video with Rachel, but is eventually convinced to watch it."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : Which one? Which button, Jack. Ross Geller : The button, the button. Monica Geller : I can't believe you did that. Ross Geller : Yeah, well. Phoebe Buffay : See, he's her lobster. Judy Geller : Dance with him. Monica Geller : Mom, I'm hungry. Judy Geller : Dance with your father. Ross Geller : I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor. Monica Geller : Alright.", "summary": "Ross and Jack argue over a button, while Phoebe refers to Rachel as her \"lobster.\" Judy tells Monica to dance with her father, and Ross brags about his dancing skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : Oh, Jack. Ross Geller : Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy. Both : Oh, ohhhhh. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, no peeking. No peeking, no peeking, no peeking. Chandler Bing : Alright, alright, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes. Joey Tribbiani : Alright open your eyes. Chandler Bing : Sweet mother of all that is good and pure. Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Days of our Lives picked up my option. Chandler Bing : Congratulations! Joey Tribbiani : I know. chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.", "summary": "Ross and Judy have a conversation while Joey tries to peek, but Chandler interrupts them. Later, Joey finds out that his show has been picked up."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : So uh, which one is mine? Joey Tribbiani : Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. Not that one. Chandler Bing : Ohh yes. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh yeah, that's the stuff. Chandler Bing : Do we dare? Joey Tribbiani : We dare. Both : Aaahhhh. AAAAHHHHHH. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up. Chandler Bing : Well they were chair-shaped cows. They never would have survived in the wild.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over which one of them will pick up a cow for their friends to watch TV with their feet up. Phoebe joins in, expressing her disbelief at the sacrifice of two cows for the group's entertainment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size. #ALL# : Woah! Monica Geller : Rose Marie really belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she? Rachel Green : Hi you guys. #ALL# : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey you. Ross Geller : Hey you. Chandler Bing : Woah, hey, yo. Rachel Green : So, uh, how was your day? Ross Geller : Oh you know, pretty much the usual, uh, sun shining, birds chirping.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are impressed by Dick Van Dyke's large screen presence, while Monica thinks Rose Marie looks better on a smaller screen. Rachel enters the room and greets everyone, followed by Chandler with a casual \"woah.\" Ross shares his mundane day, including the sun shining and birds chirping."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Really? Mine too. Phoebe Buffay : Hey cool, mine too. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight. Rachel Green : OK. Ross Geller : Bye guys. #ALL# : Bye. Monica Geller : Tonight? Chandler Bing : Hey, yo. Monica Geller : What's tonight? Rachel Green : It is our first official date. Our first date.", "summary": "Ross wants to go to the museum, but Rachel and Phoebe are interested in hanging out with him. Ross leaves, and Rachel and Phoebe discuss their shared interests. Monica asks about tonight, and Rachel reveals that it is her first date with her new boyfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Uh, hello. Rachel Green : Hi. Monica Geller : Tonight you're supposed to waitress for me, my catering thing, any of those words trigger anything for you? Rachel Green : God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date. Monica Geller : Yes but my mom got me this job. Phoebe Buffay : OK, I can be a waitress, I can be a waitress. Rachel Green : Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe. Monica Geller : Really Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing. Phoebe Buffay : I can be a waitress. OK watch this. Um, gimme two number ones, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and rick'em, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la. Phoebe Buffay : It's James Bond.", "summary": "Monica Geller is planning a catering event and asks Rachel Green to be her waitress, but Rachel forgets and instead offers to have Phoebe Buffay pretend to be a waitress. Phoebe agrees and attempts to take orders, but her inability to remember menu items and her tendency to get carried away with made-up names and silly accents result in chaos and confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Sorry we're late. Richard Burke : Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was. Monica Geller : Dr. Burke, it, it's me. Richard Burke : Monica? My God you used to be so. . . I mean you, you, you, you must have lost like. . . You look great. Monica Geller : Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight. Richard Burke : Hi Phoebe, nice to meet you. So, how ya been? Monica Geller : I've been great, just great. How have you been? Richard Burke : Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt. Monica Geller : The head tilt? Richard Burke : Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt. 'How ya doin'? You OK?'", "summary": "Monica and Richard have not seen each other in years and are meeting at her apartment for dinner. They exchange awkward pleasantries before Monica reveals that she has brought a friend along to help her with something. Richard is surprised to see Monica, as he thought she was no longer working at the restaurant where they used to go on dates. The conversation turns to their personal lives, including their divorce and Monica's new romantic relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm sorry. Richard Burke : No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. 'I'm OK.' 'You sure?' 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change. Monica Geller : Oh, that's too bad. Richard Burke : I'll survive. Chandler Bing : Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up. Joey Tribbiani : What if we have to pee? Chandler Bing : I'll cancel the sodas. Monica Geller : You've got to get back out there, it's your party. Richard Burke : But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists. Monica Geller : You're an opthamologist.", "summary": "Monica hosts a dinner party and invites her friends, including Richard, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel. Richard brings a new CD player but only has 4 CDs to change due to his divorce. Chandler orders pizza and makes a mistake with the buzzer number, causing confusion. Joey worries about having to get up to use the bathroom during the party. Monica tries to persuade Richard to go back out and socialize with their friends, who are all ophthalmologists."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif. Phoebe Buffay : That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract, I get it, no I get it, you stay out there. Richard Burke : See. Monica Geller : Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll come get you in 5 minutes with some sort of um, kabob emergency. Richard Burke : OK. You better. Oh God, here we go. Hey wanna see 'em go nuts? Watch this. Who needs glasses? Phoebe Buffay : You are so smitten. Monica Geller : I am not. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out. Monica Geller : Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up. Phoebe Buffay : So. You two are totally into each other.", "summary": "Richard Burke and Phoebe Buffay have a conversation about their respective jobs and interests. Monica Geller interrupts to offer to help Richard Burke with a \"kabob emergency,\" but he declines. Phoebe Buffay teases Monica Geller about her crush on Dr. Burke, who is described as a \"grown up.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Phoebe, he's a friend of my parents. He's like 20 years older than me. Phoebe Buffay : OK, so what, you're just never gonna see him again? Monica Geller : Not never. I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment. Phoebe Buffay : Didn't you like, just get your eyes checked? Monica Geller : Well yeah, but, you know, uh, 27 is a dangerous eye age. Rachel Green : C'mon, I'm not saying it was a bad movie, I'm just saying, you know, it was a little. . . hard to follow. Ross Geller : I told you there was going to be sub-titles. Rachel Green : I know, I just didn't want to wear my glasses on my first date. Rachel Green : Monica. Ross Geller : It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sister's name.", "summary": "Monica has an eye appointment and will see a friend of her parents who is 20 years older than her. Rachel has trouble following a movie without her glasses on a first date, while Ross suggests sub-titles to help with communication during kissing."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Honey, I'm just checking. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Monica. Ross Geller : Mon. Rachel Green : Monica. Ross Geller : Mon. Ross Geller : What, what. Rachel Green : I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry. Ross Geller : And that's, that's funny why? Rachel Green : Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, ya know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are discussing their feelings for each other, with Ross expressing his desire to be closer to Rachel physically. The conversation becomes awkward as they both realize the implications of their actions."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big. Rachel Green : OK. Ross Geller : OK, my hands were no where near your butt. Rachel Green : I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there. Ross Geller : No see now, now I can't because uh, I'm feeling too self conscious. Rachel Green : Just one cheek. Ross Geller : Nuh, uh, the moment's gone. Rachel Green : Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them. Ross Geller : That's romantic. Rachel Green : C'mon touch it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about his hands being near her butt, with Rachel apologizing and trying to move on, but Ross becoming self-conscious and unable to continue."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Oh, come on squeeze it. Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Rub it. Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Oh, come on, would you just grab my ass. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, look at that. The car is on fire, yet somehow it's expensive paint job is protected by the Miracle Wax. Chandler Bing : You got a Cheeto on your face man. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "Ross refuses to touch Rachel's butt, despite her requests. Joey witnesses a car fire and notes that the expensive paint job is protected by Miracle Wax. Chandler sees a Cheeto on Joey's face."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What're you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Rachel? Ross Geller : That was 14 hours ago. Chandler Bing : So how'd it go? Ross Geller : Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'? Chandler Bing : Yeah, but uh, it was 1982 and my flock of seagulls haircut was tickling her chin. Joey Tribbiani : She laughed at you? Ross Geller : Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint? Chandler Bing : It's the Miracle Wax. Joey Tribbiani : It certainly is a miracle. Rachel Green : Hi you guys.", "summary": "Ross wants to impress a girl by giving her a perfect kiss, but she laughs at him. Chandler tries to help Ross with his technique, but ends up embarrassing himself with a bad haircut story from 1982. Joey joins in and adds that the laser beam from Rachel's paint is not cutting through the Miracle Wax."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi. Listen, I was um, thinkin' about. . . Chandler Bing : Listen can you guys uh, speak up, it's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice. Rachel Green : OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you. Ross Geller : No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how? Rachel Green : Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert. Ross Geller : Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect. Rachel Green : What's this. Chandler Bing : Could you get us a couple of beers?", "summary": "Rachel wants to make up for last night's mistake and proposes a romantic dinner with candles and wine. Ross hesitates but seems interested. Meanwhile, Chandler asks for beers."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : I'm going to look into your eyes now. Monica Geller : Really. Richard Burke : Yeah, that's my job. Alright, look up. . . look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me. . . OK. Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes. Monica Geller : Good, they feel good, in my head. Richard Burke : So, it's great to see ya. Monica Geller : You too. Richard Burke : You too. Monica Geller : OK, um. Goodbye. Richard Burke : Drops! Monica Geller : What?", "summary": "Monica and Richard have an eye exam together."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Drops. Here, they're free. Monica Geller : Thanks. So, I guess I better be going. Richard Burke : Oh, OK, yeah. I'll see ya later. Monica Geller : Thanks again. Phoebe Buffay : We have got to get you lazy boys out of these chairs. Chandler Bing : Hey, woah, hey, woah. Phoebe Buffay : You know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people. Joey Tribbiani : No, inside good, outside bad. Phoebe Buffay : You guys are so pathetic, I, oh, OH, XANADU! OH. Chandler Bing : She's one of us now.", "summary": "Monica and Richard are talking about something when Monica suddenly leaves. Phoebe tries to get Chandler and Joey to go outside, but they prefer to stay inside. In the middle of their conversation, Phoebe exclaims \"XANADU!\" and then adds that Chandler is now one of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi you guys. Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Well we just wanted to stop by and uh, say goodnight. Chandler Bing : Goodnight. Ross Geller : Look at that, they won't even turn their heads. Rachel Green : Alright you guys, I'm takin' off my shirt. Joey Tribbiani : Naa, she's lyin'. Monica Geller : Stop sending food to our apartment. Ross Geller : Well, why're you all dressed up?", "summary": "Rachel takes off her shirt, and the group discusses whether or not they will turn their heads."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You're not the only one who has a date tonight. Ross Geller : What? You have a date? Who with? Monica Geller : No one. Ross Geller : C'mon, what's his name? Monica Geller : Nothing. Ross Geller : Come on, tell me. Monica Geller : Alright, but I'm very excited about this OK, so you gotta promise you won't get all big-brothery and judgmental. Ross Geller : Oh, I promise, what. Monica Geller : It's Richard Burke. Ross Geller : Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.", "summary": "Monica has a secret date with Richard Burke."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well for your information he happens to be one of the brightest, most sophisticated, sexiest men I've ever been with. Ross Geller : Doctor Burke is sexy? Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, absolutely. Ross Geller : It's the museum again, can I, oh. Rachel Green : Ya know, Dr. Burke kissed me once. Monica Geller : When? Rachel Green : When I was um, 7, I crashed my bike right out in front of his house and to stop me from crying he kissed me right here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh you are so lucky. Rachel Green : I know. Ross Geller : Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel share a secret about Dr. Burke, while Monica and Phoebe agree that he is sexy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well maybe he was nervous. Ross Geller : Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner. Rachel Green : It's OK, it's fine. Ross Geller : KARL! Monica Geller : Wow, is that Michelle? Richard Burke : Yep. Monica Geller : I've not seen her since high school graduation. Oh my God, that night she got so dru. . . motional. Richard Burke : Ya know, she's having another baby. Monica Geller : I thought she just had one. Richard Burke : No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss Karl, who has not learned how to use tools yet despite being present at a gathering with clay pots. Ross suggests giving Karl a microwave instead. Rachel joins in and they all continue talking. Monica reveals that Michelle is having another baby, and Richard mentions that Henry is almost two and talking. Monica shares a funny story about Henry telling his grandfather he prefers him over the other grandfather (who is a drunk)."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, you're a grandpa. Richard Burke : Yeah. Are we nuts here? Monica Geller : I don't know, maybe. I mean I'm dating a man who's pool I once peed in. Richard Burke : I didn't need to know that. I guess 21 years is a lot. I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you. Monica Geller : Yeah. Richard Burke : So. Monica Geller : So maybe we should just. . . Richard Burke : Yeah, yeah, maybe. Monica Geller : Wow, this really sucks. Richard Burke : Yeah, it sure does.", "summary": "Monica and Richard are dating, despite the fact that they have a 21-year age difference. They struggle with the challenges of their relationship, including Monica's past experiences and Richard's maturity."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, we don't really have to decide anything right now, do we? Richard Burke : No, no, there's no rush or anything. Delivery Guy : Pizza delivery. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm gonna kill those guys. Ross Geller : Rach. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : I'm done. Rachel Green : Yeah well, you know what, so is uh, Sorentino's. Ross Geller : Wha, OK, I'm sorry, let's uh, why don't we find someplace else. Rachel Green : No, you know what, it's late, everything's gonna be closed. Why don't we just do it another night?", "summary": "Monica and Richard are not in a rush to decide anything, while Delivery Guy delivers pizza. Monica wants to kill the pizza delivery guys, Ross agrees, and Rachel chimes in that Sorentino's is also closed. They ultimately decide to do it another night instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, no, we won't. Rachel Green : We won't? Ross Geller : C'mon. Rachel Green : OK, that's dead right? Rachel Green : What is this? What are we doing? Ross Geller : Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape? Rachel Green : Grape. Ross Geller : OK, now, sit. OK. Rachel Green : Oh, God. Ross Geller : Sorry.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over whether to watch a movie or not, with Ross ultimately convincing Rachel to sit down and watch it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ah, so what are we looking at? Ross Geller : Well uh, you see that, that little cluster of stars next to the big one? That is Ursa Major. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. Rachel Green : Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. Ross Geller : You're not laughing. Rachel Green : This time it's not so funny. Rachel Green : Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. Ross Geller : What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. Rachel Green : Oh, thank God.", "summary": "Ursa Major is a star cluster. Ross worked tonight and apologizes for the delay in seeing Rachel. Rachel makes a joke about the situation, and they share a moment of intimacy."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. Ross Geller : I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : We're not alone. Joey Tribbiani : Is that the fire alarm? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Joey Tribbiani : Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat? Chandler Bing : That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel wake up together, realizing they are not alone. Joey hears a fire alarm and Chandler makes a strange observation about Captain Crunch's eyebrows."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Waaa-aaah. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so. Chandler Bing : Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. You used my toothbrush? Joey Tribbiani : Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain. Chandler Bing : Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap? Chandler Bing : Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.", "summary": "A conversation ensues between Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani regarding using each other's personal items without permission, specifically toothbrushes and soap. The conversation escalates as they express their disgust and confusion at the idea of sharing personal hygiene products."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion? Joey Tribbiani : Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch. Phoebe Buffay : Ahh. Rachel Green : OK, ready when you are. Phoebe Buffay : Okey-doke. Monica Geller : I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos. Chandler Bing : Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel prepare for a tattoo experience, while Joey hosts a brunch for his comatose co-star. Phoebe is skeptical of their decision and Chandler joins in on the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get? Phoebe Buffay : Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily. Chandler Bing : Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch? Joey Tribbiani : So where you gettin' it? Phoebe Buffay : I think on my shoulder. Ross Geller : What? What's on your shoulder? Phoebe Buffay : Um, a chip. A tattoo, I'm getting a tattoo. Ross Geller : A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?", "summary": "Rachel wants to surprise Ross with a gift, but she can't tell him what it is. Joey finds out and tries to guess what it might be, while Chandler jokes about getting a tattoo of \"Big Ugly Splotch\" on his shoulder. Phoebe reveals that she is actually getting a tattoo of her mother's name, Lily, on her shoulder."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me? Monica Geller : Ross, come sign this birthday card for dad. Rich is gonna be here any minute. Chandler Bing : Oooh, Rich is goin' to the party too, huh? Monica Geller : Well, he's my parents' best friend, he has to be there. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two? Monica Geller : Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke. Phoebe Buffay : No, I think you should tell them. Monica Geller : No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything. Ross Geller : I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.' Ross Geller : Alright, shall we?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica wants to tell her parents about her relationship with Richard, but is hesitant due to their potential reaction. Meanwhile, Phoebe convinces Monica to sign a birthday card for her father despite Ross's objections."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up. Ross Geller : Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. We're here. Judy Geller : Oh hi kids. Hi darling. Monica Geller : Happy birthday dad. Ross Geller : Oh thank you. Ross Geller : Hi ma. Richard Burke : Happy birthday. Judy Geller : Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride? Ross Geller : Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us. Friend : Well, you kids take the train in?", "summary": "Monica and Ross switch places while taking a train, with Monica straddling someone to hide their identity. Judy arrives and wishes her husband Richard a happy birthday, while Ross thanks Dr. Burke for the ride."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : No, Richard Burke gave them a ride. Friend : Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. Monica Geller : Finger cramp. Oh God, sorry. Here, let me get that mom. Judy Geller : Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section. Monica Geller : Are we still on that? Judy Geller : We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin. Friend : She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. Joey Tribbiani : Can you believe this place? Chandler Bing : I know, this is a great apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.", "summary": "Richard Burke gave a ride to someone. Monica Geller has a finger cramp. Richard is shopping in the junior section. A person is considered unattractive and lacks intelligence. There is a reference to peeing with the Rockettes in the bathroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Wow, there's my fantasy come true. No, seriously. Joey's Co-Star : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man. Joey's Co-Star : Thanks. You want it? Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Joey's Co-Star : Yeah, I'm movin' to a bigger place. You should definitely take this one. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, can you see me in a place like this? Joey's Co-Star : Why not? You hate park views and high ceilings? C'mon I'll show you the kitchen. Chandler Bing : Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK. Ross Geller : C'mon, tell us.", "summary": "Chandler sees a kitchen on TV and interrupts Joey and his co-star's conversation about moving out. They discuss the apartment and Chandler expresses his disinterest in it."}
-{"dialogues": "Friend : Yeah, is she really 20. Richard Burke : I am not telling you guys anything. Ross Geller : C'mon Rich, it's my birthday, let me live vicariously. Ross Geller : Dad, you really don't want to do that. Ross Geller : Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends? Richard Burke : Jack, would you let it go? Ross Geller : Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster. Richard Burke : Guys. Seriously, it is not like that. Ross Geller : Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . . Ross Geller : Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.", "summary": "Ross and Richard discuss Richard's daughter's age, leading to a conversation about mid-life crises. Ross reveals he got a Porsche for his 50th birthday, while Richard says he has his own \"little speedster.\" The conversation continues with Ross suggesting Richard borrow the car, but Richard begs off."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche. Phoebe Buffay : OK Rach, which, which lily? This lily or that lily? Rachel Green : Well I. . . Phoebe Buffay : I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh. Tattoo Artist : Alright, blonde girl, you're in room two, not so blonde girl, you're with me. Phoebe Buffay : Here we go. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : You're not going? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : What? Is it - is this 'cause of what Ross said?", "summary": "Ross says he wouldn't let anyone else drive his Porsche, and Phoebe talks about her mom's open spirit; Rachel joins another group."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No. Well, yeah, maybe. Phoebe Buffay : I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922? Rachel Green : What's 1922? Phoebe Buffay : Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo? Rachel Green : Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . . Phoebe Buffay : OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you? Rachel Green : No. Phoebe Buffay : OK, who is the boss of you?!! Rachel Green : You? Phoebe Buffay : No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe have a conversation about Ross being the \"boss\" in their relationship, with Phoebe expressing disbelief and Rachel clarifying that he is not the boss of her. They also discuss the idea of getting a tattoo of a heart on Rachel's hip."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : How ya doin'? Monica Geller : I'm a twinkie. Richard Burke : Really? I'm a hero. Monica Geller : Oh, this is so hard. Richard Burke : Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them. Monica Geller : Maybe we should just tell your parents first. Richard Burke : My parents are dead. Monica Geller : God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean. Richard Burke : I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright. Monica Geller : Alright.", "summary": "Monica and Richard have a conversation about their respective lives, including the fact that they are both struggling with personal issues. They consider telling each other's parents about their problems, but ultimately decide to support each other instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you. Judy Geller : Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support. Ross Geller : Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one. Judy Geller : I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city? Ross Geller : I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon. Judy Geller : I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo. Ross Geller : Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her. Judy Geller : Really. Ross Geller : I tell you, I've never seen him this happy. Judy Geller : So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?", "summary": "Richard and Judy are talking about Richard's new relationship with a young woman named Twinkie. Ross is skeptical and jokes that Richard has become a \"new man\" with his new partner. Judy makes a comment about trading Ross in for a younger model."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds. Judy Geller : Oh Jack stop. Ross Geller : C'mon, it's my birthday. Joey Tribbiani : Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment. Chandler Bing : Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it. Joey Tribbiani : Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love. Chandler Bing : Well it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinkin' about it. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.", "summary": "Ross has two 25-year-olds living with him, Judy and Jack, while Joey wants to check out another guy's apartment, Chandler teases Joey about it, and Joey admits he's thinking about moving out."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware. Joey Tribbiani : What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie. Chandler Bing : Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it. Joey Tribbiani : Well that's how I feel. Chandler Bing : Well then maybe you should take it. Joey Tribbiani : Well then maybe I will. Chandler Bing : Fine with me. Joey Tribbiani : Great. Then you'll be able to spend more quality time with your real friends, the spoons. Ross Geller : Who's drink can I freshen? Judy Geller : Almost time for cake.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey disagree about living together, leading to a compromise that Chandler will take care of Joey's share of the rent in exchange for Joey spending more time with his \"real friends\" - the spoons."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Mon, Mon, are you OK? Monica Geller : You remember that video I found of mom and dad? Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Well, I just caught the live show. Ross Geller : Eww. Monica Geller : Hey there. Richard Burke : What? Monica Geller : Nothing, I just heard something nice about you. Richard Burke : Humm, really? Judy Geller : Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss a video of their parents, and then Monica reveals that she recently watched a live show of the video. Ross expresses disgust. Judy mentions that Richard's son (presumably Ross) is not seeing anyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Uhh, not that I know of. Judy Geller : Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call? Richard Burke : That - that's an idea. Monica Geller : Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone. Judy Geller : Oh? Richard Burke : Oh? Ross Geller : Ohh. Judy Geller : She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone? Ross Geller : Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal? Judy Geller : So, who's the mystery man?", "summary": "Monica is seeing someone secretly, while her friends try to set her up with Richard."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, uh, he's a doctor. Judy Geller : A real doctor? Monica Geller : No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. Judy Geller : Well that's wonderful. . . I Monica Geller : Mom, it's OK. Richard Burke : It is Judy. Judy Geller : Jack. Could you come in here for a moment? NOW! Ross Geller : Found it. Ross Geller : I'll take that dad. Judy Geller : It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.", "summary": "Monica introduces her mother to Richard, who is a doctor of meat. Judy is skeptical at first, but Monica assures her that he is a real doctor and very charming. However, when Jack enters the room, Judy becomes frantic and insists on speaking with him immediately. It is revealed that Monica and Richard are in a relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city. Monica Geller : Dad, I'm the twinkie. Ross Geller : You're the twinkie? Richard Burke : She's not a twinkie. Monica Geller : Al-alright, l-look you guys, this is the best relationship I've been in. . . Judy Geller : Oh please, a relationship. Monica Geller : Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man. Richard Burke : Really? Monica Geller : Yes. Ross Geller : Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?", "summary": "Monica declares her love for Richard, but her parents are skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier. Ross Geller : When did I say that? Monica Geller : Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that looks so good, oh I love it. Rachel Green : I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours. Phoebe Buffay : Ahh. OK, let's see yours again. Rachel Green : Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours. Phoebe Buffay : Oh OK. Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went. Rachel Green : You didn't get it? Phoebe Buffay : No.", "summary": "Monica and Ross argue over a bathroom incident involving their father, while Phoebe and Rachel try to help Monica with a problem."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Why didn't you get it? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles? Rachel Green : Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . . Chandler Bing : Yeah me too. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Yeah.", "summary": "Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay discuss a gift that Rachel had planned for Phoebe, but it was ruined when someone else used a needle on it. Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing enter the conversation and offer their apologies for what happened."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. So do we need to hug here or. . . Joey Tribbiani : No, we're alright. Chandler Bing : So I got ya something. Joey Tribbiani : Plastic spoons. Great. Chandler Bing : Lick away my man. Joey Tribbiani : These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment. Chandler Bing : No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place? Joey Tribbiani : I'm movin' out like we talked about.", "summary": "Joey moves out and Chandler gets him plastic spoons as a gift."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well I didn't think that was serious. Ya know I thought that was just a fight. Joey Tribbiani : Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever. Chandler Bing : Well, there you go. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry. Chandler Bing : Hey, no, I've never been lower or wetter. I'll be fine. I'll just turn your, uh, bedroom into a game room or somethin', you know, put the foosball table in there. Joey Tribbiani : Woah. Why do you get to keep the table? Chandler Bing : I did pay for half of it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half. Chandler Bing : Alright I'll tell you what, I'll play you for it. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.", "summary": "Joey wants to move out and live alone, but Chandler doesn't want him to go. They argue about who will keep the foosball table in the living room."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister. Joey Tribbiani : Woah, woah, woah, woah. Which sister? Monica Geller : So, are you sorry that I told them? Richard Burke : No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running. Rachel Green : Oh. Monica Geller : Oh. Well did you get it? Let me see. Rachel Green : Is Ross here? Monica Geller : No he went out to get pizza. Rachel Green : Oh really, OK. Monica Geller : That's great.", "summary": "Monica tells Joey that Chandler said something mean about her sister, and Joey is surprised because he thought she had multiple sisters. Richard reveals that it's been a long time since he and Monica went running together. Rachel asks if Ross is there, and Monica says he left to get pizza."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Very tasteful. Phoebe Buffay : Wanna see mine, wanna see mine? Monica Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : What? You didn't get one. Phoebe Buffay : OK, well then what is this? Richard Burke : What're we looking at? That blue freckle? Phoebe Buffay : OK, that's my tattoo. Rachel Green : That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it. Phoebe Buffay : OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven. Rachel Green : Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe Buffay shows off her tattoo to Richard Burke and Monica Geller, but Rachel Green is skeptical and claims it's just a dot. Phoebe reveals that the tattoo is actually an image of the Earth seen from space, symbolizing her mother's love for her from heaven."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You got a tattoo? Rachel Green : Maybe. But just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world. Ross Geller : Lemme see. Rachel Green : Well? Ross Geller : Well it's really. . . sexy. I wouldn't have thought it would be but. . . wow. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff? Rachel Green : I guess. Ross Geller : Hey, save us some pizza. Joey Tribbiani : Get out of the corner. Pass it, pass it.", "summary": "Ross sees Rachel's tattoo and reacts with surprise and admiration. They discuss Phoebe's tattoo, which Ross finds sexy despite not thinking he would. Joey wants some of the pizza."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Stop talkin' to your men. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! And the table is mine. Chandler Bing : Congratulations. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . except when we are here. Phoebe Buffay : I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you. Monica Geller : I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore. Rachel Green : Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no, it's uh, it's not what you think. We uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that, those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs accross the street. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I remember.", "summary": "The group moves apartments, and Joey and Chandler argue over a table. Joey invites them to visit him in his new place, but Phoebe and Monica express sadness at no longer being across the hall from each other. Rachel finds her bra in Joey's possession and accuses him of stealing it. Meanwhile, Joey reveals that he and Chandler used the table for water balloon fights in junior high."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, let's bring the rest of these down to the truck. Chandler Bing : So, uhh, em, you want me to uh, give you a hand with the foosball table? Joey Tribbiani : Naa, you keep it, you need the practice. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : So, I guess this is it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. Joey Tribbiani : Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. Chandler Bing : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler move a foosball table, while Joey wants to keep it for practice but gives it to Chandler instead. They bid each other farewell, with Chandler guessing they'll meet up later at a coffee house."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself. Ross Geller : Get out. #ALL# : No. Monica Geller : Wow Joey, this is, uhh... Joey Tribbiani : Art. Monica Geller : Art it is. Ross Geller : Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide. Rachel Green : Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.", "summary": "Joey decorated his apartment himself and shows it to friends, who have mixed reactions (Ross: \"Get out!\"); Monica: \"Wow Joey, this is...\"; Rachel: \"Nice pillow! Is that genuine Muppet skin?\"). Ross displays an unusual coffee table/panther hybrid; Phoebe admires a water feature. Joey expresses his affection for the space but notes it makes him want to use the bathroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come? Ross Geller : Well uh, it's cause he had a thing with, wi-, with the thing. Joey Tribbiani : Right, I go-, I got it. Phoebe Buffay : So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. Heh? Rachel Green : Hey, nice toilet. Joey Tribbiani : No no no, behind it. Ross Geller : Wha-, you have a phone in here? Joey Tribbiani : That's right, I have a phone in here.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Chandler's absence from a gathering and Joey's explanation for it, which involves a personal issue. Phoebe offers to show Joey her home, but he declines and instead leads the group to a hidden compartment in his house where he keeps his phone."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey, promise me something. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : Never call me from that phone. Rachel Green : OK, here we go. Honey, I'm sorry, they were all out of apple pie, someone just got the last piece. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered. Chandler Bing : Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago. Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK. #ALL# : OK. Phoebe Buffay : OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat. #ALL# : ", "summary": "Monica asks Joey not to call her from a certain phone number. Rachel reveals that there are no apple pies left at the store. Phoebe discovers she has been discovered by a record producer and is excited to work on a demo for Smelly Cat."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video. #ALL# :  Phoebe Buffay : I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album. Phoebe Buffay : I'm done now. #ALL# :  Rachel Green : Oh God. Ross, OK, if you care about me at all, you will get the pie out of the man's hood. Ross Geller : Get the what? Rachel Green : Pie in the hood, pie in the hood. Go. Guy : What're you doing? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a video shoot gone wrong, with Phoebe Buffay trying to wrap up her work but encountering obstacles along the way. Rachel Green wants Ross Geller to remove a pie from someone's hood, while Guy is confused about what they are doing. The scene ends with Ross struggling to get the coffee out of someone's pants."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom. Ross Geller : Calm down, I'm blow drying. Monica Geller : Blow drying what, you have no hair. Rachel Green : What's goin' on? Monica Geller : Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again . Rachel Green : Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now. Monica Geller : GET OUT YOU DUFUS!! Rachel Green : Or ya know, he's rubber and you're glue. Ross Geller : All yours. Monica Geller : I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.", "summary": "Ross is in the bathroom for an extended period of time, causing tension between him and Monica. Rachel intervenes and tells Monica that she's not 16 years old anymore and should not be so possessive of Ross. In response, Monica makes a comment about Ross being rubber and her being glue."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain. Monica Geller : Shut up. Ross Geller : Shut up. Monica Geller : Cut it out. Ross Geller : Mi-mi-mii. Rachel Green : I've never wanted you more. Chandler Bing : So, whaddya say boys, should I call him? Well, ya know what they say. Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy. Joey Tribbiani : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Monica cleaned hair from drain. Ross says shut up. Monica tells him to cut it out. Rachel wants them to call someone. Chandler makes a joke about asking slippers for advice. Joey enters the room and says hello."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Listen, I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing. Chandler Bing : Yeah well, I hear the place looks great. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin' Chandler Bing : Oh hey, it's, it's terriffic. I mean it's a regular space... fest. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well great. Chandler Bing : Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey. Joey Tribbiani : Well OK then. Was that the oven timer? Chandler Bing : That's right my friend. It's time for... Both : Baywatch!!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Joey have a conversation about their respective activities. Chandler apologizes for not attending an event, and Joey informs him that he is having a good time. They then discuss the state of Chandler's apartment, which Chandler describes as a \"space fest.\" The conversation ends with both men mentioning Baywatch."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer? Chandler Bing : I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant. Joey Tribbiani : Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe. Chandler Bing : Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, they're runnin' Chandler Bing : See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind. Monica Geller : But I thought you wanted to live by yourself. Joey Tribbiani : I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back? Joey Tribbiani : You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.", "summary": "Stephanie gets skin cancer, and Chandler promotes her to lieutenant despite Joey and Monica's objections. Chandler loves Yasmine Blepe, and Joey teases him about it. Monica suggests that Chandler should live alone, but Joey reveals he doesn't have as many thoughts as he thought. Phoebe suggests Joey talk to Chandler about moving back, but Joey is unsure if Chandler would take him back after moving out and hurting him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I promise you, he would definitely want you back. Ross Geller : I'm telling you, there's no way he's moving back. Chandler Bing : But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night. I mean it was, it was like when we first started living together. Ross Geller : Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now but, we've seen him in his new place, alright. And he's happy, he's, he's decorated. Rachel Green : Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too. Chandler Bing : But... Ross Geller : No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore. Producer : OK Phoebe, you ready to try one? Phoebe Buffay : OK. Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that? Producer : They're your backup singers... beind you.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over whether Ross's ex-wife will want him back, while Rachel tries to convince Chandler that he needs to move on. Meanwhile, Phoebe performs a bizarre song about a cat with an unusual diet."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know. Producer : Alrighty. From the top. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat. Producer : Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh OK. So, um, the cat stinks but you love it, let's go. Ross Geller : No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. Oh, were you takin' a nap? Monica Geller : I was. Ross Geller : Oh I-, Oh wait, Tony can you hang on? That's the other line. Hello. Oh yeah she's here but uh, can she call you back? OK thanks. Call Joanna. Hi. Monica Geller : Did she leave a number? Ross Geller : Did you see me write one down?", "summary": "Smelly cat is a central theme in this conversation between Phoebe Buffay and her friends. They discuss how smelly the cat is and how they need to talk about it to show that they care about the cat. However, the conversation becomes expensive as the producer reminds them of the cost per minute. Ross Geller enters the conversation to correct Monica's mistaken belief that Dino, a dinosaur, was a velociraptor. The group then discusses Joanna leaving a number without providing one."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I don't have her number, butt-munch. Ross Geller : Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby. Monica Geller : I'm not a baby, you're the baby. Ross Geller : Look, you wanna get off my back? Monica Geller : You wanna get out of my face? Ross Geller : Wait hold on Tony, hold on. Hello. Hi, yeah no, she's right here. Um hold on. Hi Tony, can I call you back? That's uh, that's my sister's boyfriend. Monica Geller : Give me that. Ross Geller : OK. Monica Geller : Hi sweetie, look before I forget, did I leave my diaphram at your place? Hi mom. Joey Tribbiani : Hey.", "summary": "Monica and Ross argue over a phone number, with Monica accusing Ross of being a baby and Ross insisting that Monica is the one who needs to calm down. Meanwhile, Joey enters the conversation and tries to mediate."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So uhh, how's the palace? Joey Tribbiani : You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes? Chandler Bing : Oh, uhh, actually I uh, have some news. Eddie Menuek : Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out? Chandler Bing : Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie. Eddie Menuek : Nice to meet ya. Joey Tribbiani : Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet? Eddie Menuek : At the uh, supermarket, in the uh, ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Chandler Bing : Well you know, we got to talking and uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.", "summary": "Joey finds a moose hat in Chandler's apartment and asks him about it. Chandler reveals that he has a new roommate named Eddie, who he met at the supermarket while shopping for ethnic food. Joey is surprised by this and wonders how they met."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, now it's a spare room? Chandler Bing : Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare. Joey Tribbiani : Well I uh, got what I came for. I'll uh, I'll see you guys. Chandler Bing : Hey Jo. When'd you start usin' mousse in your hair? Eddie Menuek : Is this guy great or what? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah he is. Monica Geller : I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy? Ross Geller : Uh, Eddie something. He just met him. Rachel Green : It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate. Phoebe Buffay : Hey.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss Joey's spare room, while Eddie enters and joins the conversation. Monica questions Joey about his new roommate, Ross explains that he just met him, and Rachel expresses skepticism about their compatibility. Phoebe enters and greets everyone."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video. #ALL# :  Phoebe Buffay : Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. OK. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : I sound amazing. I, I, I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head. Oh, this is so cool, now I can hear what you hear. Rachel Green : Pretty uhm, different huh? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented. Eddie Menuek : Hi Joey, what's goin' on man?", "summary": "Phoebe creates a video of herself singing and shares it with the group, who are impressed by her talent. Ross and Rachel have differing opinions on the video, while Eddie enters the conversation unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Eddie. Chandler Bing : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. Where's the mail? Chandler Bing : Oh it's uh, over there on the table. Joey Tribbiani : You don't keep it over here on this table any more? Chandler Bing : No, Eddie likes to keep it over there. Eddie Menuek : Alright, here you go my friend. Eggs a-la Eddie, huh? Chandler Bing : Oh, ooh. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Chandler Bing : What?", "summary": "Joey picks up his mail from Chandler and Eddie, but they have moved it to a different table without telling him. When he asks where it is, Chandler says Eddie likes to keep it on a different table now. Eddie then gives Joey some eggs, which Chandler mockingly refers to as \"Eggs a-la Eddie.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me. Chandler Bing : Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good. Eddie Menuek : Well you guys, I'm outta here. See ya pals. Chandler Bing : See ya. Joey Tribbiani : So how you two gettin' along? Chandler Bing : Oh, I couldn't be happier. Joey Tribbiani : Great, well, I'm happy for ya. Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice. Chandler Bing : There's another carton right over there. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man. Chandler Bing : Alright, so what's it about?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over eggs; Eddie leaves. Joey and Chandler then argue again when there is no juice available."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh? Chandler Bing : Well I like both eggs equally. Joey Tribbiani : Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which. Chandler Bing : Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs? Monica Geller : I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight. Ross Geller : Tough noogies, we're watching Predators of the Serengetti. Rachel Green : Would you guys stop. Monica Geller : It's my TV. Ross Geller : Wha-, oh, quit it. Monica Geller : Bite me.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over eggs, while Monica and Rachel fight over the TV."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel. Monica Geller : Oh that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me. Rachel Green : Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. Monica Geller : OK, what're we gonna do about this? Ross Geller : Well, I guess we could tape Entertainment Tonight. Monica Geller : Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here. Ross Geller : Ow, ow, OK. Alright, alright, Mon, Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, alright. Monica Geller : I just can't stand you being here all the time. Ross Geller : Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, ya know, we're just havin' fun.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are arguing over the TV channel, with Monica getting frustrated and feeling like she can't stand Ross being there all the time."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Fun? Fun, you think this is fun? Ross Geller : Yeah, c'mon I mean I though, you know, I thought we're just foolin' around. Like when, uh, when we were kids. Monica Geller : Ross, I hated you when we were kids. Ross Geller : You hated me when we were kids? Monica Geller : Yes. I hated you. I mean I, I, loved you in a 'you're my brother so I have to' kind of way, but basically, yeah, I hated your guts. Ross Geller : Why did you hate me? Monica Geller : Because, you were mean to me and you, you teased me and you always, always got your way. Ross Geller : And that wasn't fun for you? Monica Geller : Duh-huh! Ross Geller : I can't believe you hated me.", "summary": "Monica hates Ross when they were kids, loved him in a \"you're my brother\" way, but really hated him. Ross didn't understand why and Monica listed all the reasons he was mean to her and always got his way."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to. Ross Geller : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off. Ross Geller : I can do that. Monica Geller : Then I won't have to kill you. Ross Geller : So you wanna watch uh, Entertainment Tonight? Monica Geller : Yeah, thanks. You know what? Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can. Ross Geller : Ohh... OK.", "summary": "Monica and Ross have a conversation in which they express their feelings towards each other and discuss watching television."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey. #ALL# : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video. #ALL# : No. Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Rachel Green : Well, how did you find out? Phoebe Buffay : Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue. Monica Geller : So what're you gonna do? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I can't work with people who would do this. Monica Geller : Sure.", "summary": "Phoebe discovers that someone else is singing in a video instead of her and decides to take action."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I mean this poor woman. Ross Geller : What woman? Phoebe Buffay : The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video. Rachel Green : OK, Phoebs. But what about you? Phoebe Buffay : Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels. Chandler Bing : Hey Eddie, you uh, wanna play some foosball? Eddie Menuek : No thanks man, I'm not uh, I'm not really into sports. Chandler Bing : Yeah o-, OK, alright. Doesn't matter, time for Baywatch. Eddie Menuek : Y-, y-, you like that show? Chandler Bing : You don't like that show?", "summary": "A woman with a great singing voice but no video faces rejection from producers due to her appearance. Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Green try to help her, while Chandler Bing and Eddie Menuek play foosball and watch Baywatch."}
-{"dialogues": "Eddie Menuek : Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know. Chandler Bing : Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the running. Eddie Menuek : I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while. Chandler Bing : Oh o-, OK man. Phoebe Buffay : Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody. #ALL# : Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, it's not your fault. Phoebe Buffay : Monica. Monica Geller : They won't take you to the vet. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler. Chandler Bing : You're obviously not their favorite pet.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A group of attractive people run on a beach while Chandler appreciates their beauty and Eddie leaves to read in his room. Phoebe teases Eddie about Smelly Cat and Monica offers to take him to the vet."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : It may not be a bed of roses. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel. Rachel Green : And you're no friend to those with noses. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more. Amber : Oh Drake. Dr. Drake Ramoray : I'm sorry Amber. It's just like Brad to have to have the last word. Ross Geller : I'm sorry I'm late, what happened? Monica Geller : We, we just wanna see the end. Amber : I want you Drake.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe argue over noses, while Joey and Monica discuss their lack of lines. Ross tries to make up for being late, but Monica wants to see the ending of the scene. Amber expresses her desire for Drake."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Drake Ramoray : I know you do but you and I can never be together that way. Amber : What? Dr. Drake Ramoray : There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother. Rachel Green : So what happens next? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed. Chandler Bing : God that is good TV. Chandler Bing : Phoebs, play with meeee. Phoebe Buffay : No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation. Chandler Bing : Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time. Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you play with your roommate?", "summary": "Dr. Drake Ramoray reveals he is Amber's half-brother and they go to Venezuela to meet their other half-brother, Ramone. Joey wins a medical award for separating siamese twins, but the emerald he finds in Venezuela is cursed. Chandler makes a joke about the armless men forced to play soccer forever, but Phoebe objects and suggests they play with each other instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ah he's a, he's not a big fan of foosball. Phoebe Buffay : Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy? Chandler Bing : No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we? Chandler Bing : We don't need to remedy that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, it'll be fun. Eddie Menuek : What was that? Phoebe Buffay : Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other. Eddie Menuek : Yeah alright, that sounds alright. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.", "summary": "New boy doesn't like foosball; Chandler spends most of his time in his room; Phoebe suggests they get to know him better; Chandler declines; Eddie agrees to join them for beers; Phoebe leaves abruptly due to a scheduling conflict."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That was so lame. Phoebe Buffay : I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. Chandler Bing : So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er? Eddie Menuek : That's good, that's good. So, so, so who broke up with who? Chandler Bing : What're you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought that Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia. Eddie Menuek : That's good man, when everybody knows that the uh, the capital of Cambodia is uh... Chandler Bing : Well it's not Sean Penn. Eddie Menuek : Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it? Phoebe Buffay : And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night. Richard Burke : Phoebe's got another job, right?", "summary": "Chandler broke up with his girlfriend after she thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia. Eddie shared a sad story about his last girlfriend who broke up with him after eating pancakes together. Richard asked if Phoebe had another job."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Great set tonight Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Ross Geller : Well, we should probably get going. Richard Burke : Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring. Monica Geller : Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place. Richard Burke : I don't know, I don't have my jammies. Monica Geller : Well, maybe you don't need them. Ross Geller : My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen. Monica Geller : Shut up, I'm happy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.", "summary": "Monica invites Richard to stay at her place for the night, but he declines as he doesn't have his pajamas. Phoebe gives a speech about how she likes Richard the most among all of Monica's past boyfriends."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Richard Burke : Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot. Monica Geller : Not a lot, Phoebe's kidding, Phoebe's crazy. Rachel Green : Phoebe's dead. Tilly : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi. Tilly : I'm looking for Eddie Minowick. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank? Tilly : Thanks.", "summary": "Richard is pleased when Phoebe says she likes him best, but Monica and Rachel dismiss it as silly. Meanwhile, Tilly is looking for Eddie Minowick, but Chandler is not able to help him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, oh, c'mon in. Tilly : I'm Tilly. Chandler Bing : Oh. Tilly : I gather by that oh that he told you about me. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul. Tilly : He's kind of intense huh? Chandler Bing : Yes. Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie a little... Eddie Menuek : A little what? Chandler Bing : Bit country? C'mon in here you roomie. Eddie Menuek : Hello Tilly.", "summary": "Chandler Bing is frightened by Tilly's name coming up in a conversation, and Tilly's roommate Eddie is introduced."}
-{"dialogues": "Tilly : Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank. Eddie Menuek : That's very thoughtful of you. It's very thougtful. Tilly : Well, ok then. I'm gonna go. Bye. Eddie Menuek : Bye-bye. Chandler Bing : Bye. Chandler Bing : So, we gettin' a fish? Eddie Menuek : You had sex with her didn't you? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest, oh that's one of my favorite digests. Joey Tribbiani : Page 42, page 42, page 42.", "summary": "Tilly drops off Eddie's tank and thanks her for being thoughtful. Chandler joins the conversation and mentions getting a fish. Eddie reveals that Joey had sex with Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, ok. Ooh, hey 'new doc on the block, Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani.' Ooh, cool picture. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, I look good. Phoebe Buffay : Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.' Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this? Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that? Writer : Makes up most of his lines. Son-of-a-. Yeah, well, write this jerkweed. Joey Tribbiani : I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft? Delivery Guy : Uhh, I don't know, I just bring the scripts. Joey Tribbiani : They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani writes most of his own lines on the soap opera \"Days of Our Lives,\" much to the dismay of the writers. He makes changes that make him look good and improve the show, but this creates tension with the writers."}
-{"dialogues": "Delivery Guy : Right. Could you sign this? Joey Tribbiani : No. No way, I'm not signing that. Delivery Guy : I don't think that's gonna affect the plot of the show. Joey Tribbiani : How can they do this to me? Delivery Guy : Er, uh, I'm just gonna go. Sorry. Monica Geller : Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage. Rachel Green : Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious. Ross Geller : G'night. Richard Burke : Night Richard. Good luck Mon. Monica Geller : Alright, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with.", "summary": "Delivery guy requests Joey to sign a document, but he refuses. Monica and Rachel discuss the number of men in a porn video, while Ross goes to bed. Richard asks Monica about her own sexual history before leaving."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Two. Monica Geller : Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you? Richard Burke : Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two. Monica Geller : Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. Richard Burke : Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark. Monica Geller : Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark. Rachel Green : Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now. Ross Geller : Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number? Rachel Green : Uhhhooo. Ross Geller : C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.", "summary": "Richard Burke has a high school sweetheart named Barbara and mentions being married to her for 30 years. Monica Geller is surprised by this and asks how he could have two wives. Richard explains that he doesn't need an exact number but gives a rough estimate. Rachel Green joins the conversation and jokes about Ross's past relationships."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, there's you. Ross Geller : Better not be doin' these in order. Rachel Green : Ok, uh, Billy Dreskin, Pete Carney, Barry, and uh, oh, Paolo. Ross Geller : Oh yes, the weenie from Torrini. Rachel Green : Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo? Oh, c'mon, I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, ya know, that sounded soooo much better in my head. Chandler Bing : Eddie, I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend. Eddie Menuek : That's very interesting, ya know, 'cause that's exactly what someone who slept with her would say. Chandler Bing : This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.", "summary": "Rachel Green and Ross Geller discuss their past relationships, with Rachel revealing that she was not happy in her relationship with Paolo and is now happier with Ross. Chandler Bing enters the conversation and becomes involved in a disagreement with Eddie Menuek over whether or not Chandler slept with Eddie's ex-girlfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Eddie Menuek : Where's Buddy? Chandler Bing : Buddy? Eddie Menuek : My fish, Buddy. Chandler Bing : There was no fish when she dropped it off. Eddie Menuek : Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy? Chandler Bing : Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie... Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? Richard Burke : That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me? Monica Geller : Well yeah. Richard Burke : Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet. Monica Geller : You really ok with it?", "summary": "Eddie finds out that Chandler killed his fish, Buddy, and is angry and upset. Chandler tries to explain himself but Eddie is not convinced."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Oh honey, I'm fine. Monica Geller : Oh, yay. Ok about that two. Richard Burke : What? Alright, what about my two? Monica Geller : Well, it just seems like a really small number. Richard Burke : Right, and... Monica Geller : And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat? Richard Burke : Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with. Monica Geller : But you've only slept with two people. Richard Burke : Right. Monica Geller : Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.", "summary": "Richard Burke and Monica Geller have a conversation about his sexual history, with Monica expressing surprise at how few people he has slept with. Richard clarifies that he only sleeps with people he is in love with, but Monica notes that this means he has only had two sexual partners."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Now I do. Rachel Green : Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh. Ross Geller : Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes. Rachel Green : God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was... Ross Geller : Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex? Rachel Green : Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo. Ross Geller : Knock-knock. Rachel Green : But, what you and I have is so much better. Ok, we have tenderness, we have intimacy, we connect. Ya know, I swear, this is the best I have ever had. Ross Geller : Until now. Rachel Green : Oh, hi.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past relationships, with Rachel expressing her feelings for Ross and how he is different from her previous boyfriend Paolo. Ross makes light of the situation by suggesting they have animal sex, leading to a comical exchange between the two."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hi. Richard just told me he loves me. Rachel Green : Oh my God, honey that's great. Monica Geller : I know. I just can't find... Rachel Green : Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry. Monica Geller : You need one too? Rachel Green : Ooooh yeah. Monica Geller : There's only one. Richard Burke : Monica. Monica Geller : Hi. Uh, we'll be right there, we're just trying to decide something. Ross Geller : Rachel. Hey.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss Richard's confession of love for Monica, while Richard enters the room and Monica struggles to find the right words to express her feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting. Ross Geller : Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different? Richard Burke : No. Ross Geller : Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat? Richard Burke : I have a little comb. Ross Geller : Oh. And what do you call that? Richard Burke : A moustache comb. Rachel Green : Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month. Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : Ok, ok, ok, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months.", "summary": "Ross and Richard discuss Ross's moustache, with Ross asking how Richard keeps it neat and Richard revealing he uses a comb. Rachel offers to do Richard's laundry for a month, but Monica refuses, and Rachel then offers to clean the apartment for two months instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan. Rachel Green : Agghhh. Ross Geller : So were you in Nam? Rachel Green : Rock-paper-scissors? Monica Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : One two three. Rachel Green : Yeesss. Monica Geller : Fine, go have sex. Richard Burke : No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs. Ross Geller : No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...", "summary": "Monica and Rachel search for a dustpan while discussing Ross's past in Vietnam. They play rock-paper-scissors and Monica wins, leading to a debate about who was in Nam. Richard corrects their mistakes and explains that John Voit was injured in Vietnam and can't feel his legs."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Honey. Ross Geller : What, what oh.... Richard Burke : Shall we? Monica Geller : It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow. Richard Burke : Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand... Chandler Bing : So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes. Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish. Phoebe Buffay : Why would you kill his fish? Chandler Bing : Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross discuss their plans for the night, while Richard suggests they should plan ahead for future events. Monica rejects the idea, and Chandler reveals that he found his shoes without insoles after someone (presumably Phoebe) killed his fish."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Wait, he's not here yet. Rachel Green : So, he's on the show, he knows what happens. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Alright. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way. Rachel Green : Oh good. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother. Amber : Oh Drake.", "summary": "Rachel wants to watch Joey's show, but Ross and Monica are hesitant since Joey isn't there yet. Chandler has a problem he's overcoming, and Dr. Drake Ramoray offers emotional support to Amber."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Horton : Hard day huh? First the medical award, this. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Some guys are just lucky I guess. Intercom : Dr. Remore, report to first floor emergency, stat. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong? Dr. Horton : No, no, they only said you. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Oh, ok. Alright. Amber : I love you Drake. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Yeah, whatever. Oh no. Amber : Drake, look out. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.", "summary": "Dr. Horton and Dr. Drake Ramoray have a conversation about a medical award, but then an emergency interrupts them. Dr. Ramoray is called to the first floor emergency, leaving the other doctors in the room. As he heads towards the elevator, he is confronted by Amber, who expresses her love for him. Suddenly, an unspecified danger occurs and Dr. Ramoray reacts with fear."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Did they just kill off Joey? Ross Geller : No. Now maybe. Ross Geller : C'mon. Rachel Green : Joey. Ross Geller : Open up. We want to talk to you. Joey Tribbiani : I don't feel like talkin. Rachel Green : Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you. Chandler Bing : We're worried about you. Monica Geller : And some of us really have to pee. Monica Geller : Sorry Joey", "summary": "Joey is reluctant to talk after a shocking event occurs on the show."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks. Chandler Bing : We came over as soon as we saw. Ross Geller : How could you not tell us? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out. Rachel Green : Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back. Joey Tribbiani : Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin. Phoebe Buffay : But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani dies, but his friends are unsure how to tell him due to their previous jokes about his death. However, when they finally break the news to him, he reveals that he was secretly a doctor who could have saved himself, and that his death was actually an ironic twist of fate. Despite this, Phoebe tries to reassure Joey that he will be fine and that he doesn't need the show, but Joey remains devastated by the loss of his beloved soap opera."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice. Chandler Bing : It's gonna be ok. You know that? Joey Tribbiani : No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry man. Rachel Green : Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us. Joey Tribbiani : No, that means nothin to me. Chandler Bing : Uhhhaahh. Eddie Menuek : Pecan sandy, just made em. Chandler Bing : Yeah alright. What're these, raisins? Eddie Menuek : Uh, sure, why not.", "summary": "Monica straightens out Chandler's shower curtain to prevent mildew, which he finds nice. Joey reflects on working towards something and it not being as good as expected, but a recent credit card approval has changed everything for him. Rachel offers Joey pre-approval with her, which he doesn't find significant. Chandler makes a comment about the snacks Eddie just made, and Eddie mistakenly gives him raisins instead of pecan sandies."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling? Eddie Menuek : I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you. Chandler Bing : Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker. Eddie Menuek : What's you point man? Chandler Bing : Ok, good night. You big freak of nature. Ross Geller : Hey. Richard Burke : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Richard Burke : Ohh, brisk tonight. Ross Geller : Oh man.", "summary": "Chandler and Eddie are living together, with Eddie revealing a surprise - a goldfish cracker he named after Chandler. Chandler is unimpressed and leaves, with Ross and Richard entering the conversation later."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Let's never speak of this. Ross Geller : You got it. Chandler Bing : Hey Eddie. Daahh!! What're you doin' here? Eddie Menuek : Nothin' roomie, just watchin' you sleep. Chandler Bing : Why? Eddie Menuek : Makes me feel um, peaceful, heh-heh, please. Chandler Bing : I can't sleep now. Eddie Menuek : You want me to sing? Chandler Bing : No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now. Eddie Menuek : Woah, woah, woah, what're, what're you talkin' about man.", "summary": "Ross and Richard have an uncomfortable conversation that they agree to never speak of again. Eddie enters the apartment and watches Ross sleep, claiming it makes him feel peaceful. Chandler becomes agitated and asks Eddie to leave, but Eddie refuses and offers to sing to help Chandler fall asleep."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hannibal Lecter...better roommate than you. Eddie Menuek : No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh? Chandler Bing : I didn't realize that. Eddie Menuek : Yeah. Chandler Bing : GET OUT NOW!! Eddie Menuek : Ok, you really want me out? Chandler Bing : Yes please. Eddie Menuek : Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out. Chandler Bing : I want you out. Eddie Menuek : No no no, I wanna hear it from your lips.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Eddie Menuek have a tense conversation about being roommates. Chandler accuses Eddie of hiding behind a door and not wanting to be around him, while Eddie claims he's just trying to be friendly. The conversation escalates with Chandler demanding that Eddie leave and Eddie insisting on hearing it from Chandler's lips that he wants him to go."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Where did you hear it from before? Eddie Menuek : Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow. Eddie Menuek : I heard that. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh? Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have? Monica Geller : A mirror? Joey Tribbiani : Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty. Monica Geller : Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are at Central Perk when Joey enters wearing a time machine he bought on 8th Avenue. Eddie, a friend of Joey's, arrives and mentions that he'll be gone by the time Monica gets home from work the next day. Chandler interjects with a joke about Eddie being gone. The group continues to banter back and forth before the conversation shifts to Joey's new time machine."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache. Monica Geller : Cache? Jaunty? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, so so so, did you read the book? Monica Geller : Oh my God, it was incredible. Phoebe Buffay : Didn't it like totally speak to you? Rachel Green : Woah, woah, woah, what book is this?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey reveals he was a soap opera actor named Dr. Drake Remoray on \"Days of Our Lives.\" Monica gives him words of encouragement and Chandler gives him toilet paper with a new word each day. Phoebe returns from her trip and talks about a book she read that spoke to her deeply. Rachel joins the conversation and learns about the book for the first time."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it. Rachel Green : Men just take out wind? Phoebe Buffay : Ya-huh, all the time, cause they are the lightning bearers. Rachel Green : Wow. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit. Monica Geller : It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind. Monica Geller : No.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A book called \"Be Your Own Windkeeper\" empowers women to become more powerful, with wind as a symbol of their inner strength. However, men are shown to be the ones who take out or control the wind, representing their dominance over women in various relationships. The conversation between Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe highlights their differing opinions on the book's message and their personal experiences with gender dynamics."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, 'cause he's yummy. Monica Geller : Yes. But all the other ones. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip. Joey Tribbiani : Anybody want a croan. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?' Estelle Leonard : Don't worry about it already. Things happen. Joey Tribbiani : So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything? Estelle Leonard : Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth? Joey Tribbiani : No, can we get back to me? Estelle Leonard : Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Phoebe Buffay's crush on a guy who is also being pursued by Monica Geller. They discuss their various reasons for liking him, with Phoebe finding him \"yummy.\" Joey Tribbiani joins in and offers a croissant to the group, which leads to a discussion about lightning-bearers and inner power. Estelle Leonard later joins the conversation and addresses Joey's concerns about getting fired from his job, offering him an audition for Another World."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Alright. Cab driver number two? Estelle Leonard : You're welcome. Joey Tribbiani : But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab? Estelle Leonard : Things change, roll with em. Joey Tribbiani : But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this. Estelle Leonard : Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry. See ya. Rachel Green : Oh, God, oh, God, I mean it's just so. Monica Geller : Isn't it. Rachel Green : Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'.", "summary": "Dr. Drake Remoray becomes a cab driver after losing his job as a neurosurgeon. He struggles with feeling like he's taken a step back in life, but a wise cab driver tells him to take any job and don't make excuses on the floor. Meanwhile, Rachel Green reads a book that could be titled \"Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel,\" reflecting on her own life and career choices."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you. Ross Geller : Hey you guys. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Uh, sweetie we've gotta go. Rachel Green : NO! Ross Geller : No? Rachel Green : No, why do we always have to do everything according to your time table? Ross Geller : Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning. Rachel Green : No, see this isn't about the movie theatre, this is about you stealing my wind. Monica Geller : You go girl. I can't pull that off can I?", "summary": "Ross tries to take Rachel to see a movie but she refuses, arguing that he always does things on his own schedule and doesn't consider hers. Monica joins in, siding with Rachel, while Phoebe suggests the movie would have made a nice gift for Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Excuse me, your, your, your wind? Rachel Green : Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow? Ross Geller : You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that. Rachel Green : Ok, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Um-um, um-um. Rachel Green : You're right, I don't have to apologize. Sorry. Damnit! Joey Tribbiani : What is it? Ross Geller : I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it. Joey Tribbiani : See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What, what's that?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about her needing to be with herself, while Phoebe tries to intervene. Joey makes a comment about not dating women who read."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good. Ross Geller : Open it, open in. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Ross Geller : Woah. Joey Tribbiani : Look at this, how did I spend so much money? Ross Geller : Uh Joey, that's just the minumum amount due, that's your total due. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh. Ross Geller : What, woah, woah, $3500 at porcelain safari? Joey Tribbiani : My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Ross Geller : Well I guess you can start by drivin a cab on Another World.", "summary": "Joey has received his VISA bill and is shocked at how much he has spent, particularly on a porcelain safari where he was confused by a salesperson with an accent. Ross tries to help Joey by suggesting he start driving a cab on another TV show, but the situation is left unclear."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : That audition. Joey Tribbiani : That's a two line part. Ross Geller : Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite. Joey Tribbiani : So what. Ross Geller : So suck it up man, it's a job, it's money. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, look, I don't need you getting all judgemental and condescending and pedantic. Ross Geller : Toilet paper? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Look, I'm not being any of those things, ok, I'm just being realistic.", "summary": "Joey owes $1100 to a store called I Love Lucite and doesn't want to pay. Ross tries to convince him to suck it up and take the job for the money. Joey gets defensive and they argue about toilet paper."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well knock it off, you're supposed to be my friend. Ross Geller : I am your friend. Joey Tribbiani : Well then tell me things like, 'Joey you'll be fine,' and, 'Hang in there,' and, and, 'Somethin' big's fonna come along, I know it.' Ross Geller : But I don't know it. What I do know is that you owe $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe. Ross Geller : Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I don't wanna hear this right now. Ross Geller : Huh, I'm just saying... Joey Tribbiani : Well don't just say. Ross Geller : Ya know, maybe, maybe I should just go.", "summary": "Joey owes $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic and Ross is worried about his financial future after taking 10 years to get a job."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Ross Geller : Ok. I'll see ya later. Just think about it, ok. Joey Tribbiani : I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there? Eddie Menuek : Hey pal. Chandler Bing : Ahhhh-gaaaahhh. Eddie what're you still doin' here? Eddie Menuek : Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables. MAN ALIVE this thing's fantastic! Chandler Bing : Look Eddie, aren't you forgetting anything? Eddie Menuek : Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one. Chandler Bing : Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now? Eddie Menuek : Well, not unless it's got something to do with dehydrating my man because right now I'm a dehydrating maniac!", "summary": "Joey plays Dr. Drake Remoray and boasts about big things happening, while Ross remains skeptical. Eddie enters and starts dehydrating fruits and vegetables, exclaiming they're fantastic. Chandler questions why Eddie isn't doing something else, and Eddie responds by revealing he's become a dehydrating maniac."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time... Eddie Menuek : Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is? Chandler Bing : Your last roommate's kidney? Eddie Menuek : That's a tomato. This one definitely goes in the display. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go. Gunther : Lemonade? You ok man? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show. Gunther : Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it? Joey Tribbiani : I fell down an elevator shaft. Gunther : That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.", "summary": "Chandler and Eddie have a deal, but Chandler thought he gave Eddie's last roommate's kidney. Eddie corrects him that it's actually a tomato, which he plans to display. Joey comes in looking for lemonade, but Gunther asks if he's okay after hearing about his character being killed off on the show. Joey explains that he fell down an elevator shaft, and Gunther shares that he was buried in an avalanche."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What? Gunther : I used to be Bryce on All My Children. Chandler Bing : Daaahhhh! Monica Geller : Aaahhhhhhh! Aaahhhh! Chandler Bing : Why must everybody watch me sleep? There'll be no more watching me sleep, no more watching. Monica Geller : I wa- Chandler Bing : Uuuh. Eddie Menuek : Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons. Chandler Bing : Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out. Eddie Menuek : What?", "summary": "Bryce from All My Children used to be Gunther. Everyone keeps watching Chandler sleep. Monica wants to stop. Eddie shows off his dehydrator and tries to make water balloons disappear."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT! Eddie Menuek : You, you want, you want me to move out? Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Eddie Menuek : I uh, I gotta tell you man, I mean, that's uh, it's kinda out of the blue, I mean don't you think? Chandler Bing : This is not out of the blue, this is smack dab in the middle of the blue. Eddie Menuek : Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack! Chandler Bing : You want some help. Eddie Menuek : No help required Chico. Joey Tribbiani : All the way to the airport huh? You know that's over 30 miles, that's gonna cost you about so bucks. Casting Guy : Excuse me, that's 50 bucks.", "summary": "Chandler wants Eddie to move out, and Eddie is hesitant, thinking it's unexpected. Chandler insists, and Eddie agrees to leave after taking his belongings. However, Eddie warns that he won't leave without his fish. Joey offers to give Eddie a ride to the airport, which would cost him $50."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What? Casting Guy : Five oh dollars. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything. Casting Guy : That's great. Joey Tribbiani : And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting. Casting Guy : Ok, listen, thanks for coming in. Joey Tribbiani : No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no. Monica Geller : And I would have to say pah-huh. Phoebe Buffay : What?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani auditions for a role in a TV show and impresses the casting director with his medical acting skills. He offers suggestions for expanding the scene and mentions that he could have attended to victims of a car crash during his time on \"Days of Our Lives\" as Dr. Drake Remoray. The casting director thanks him and ends the audition, but Joey insists on finishing his remarks before leaving. Phoebe Buffay asks Monica Geller if she has ever allowed a lightning bearer to take her wind, and Monica responds with a sarcastic \"pah-huh.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Do you not remember the puppet guy? Rachel Green : Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power. Monica Geller : And his puppet too. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date. Monica Geller : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Paul. Monica Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Ok, ok, ok, moving on, moving on, next question. Ok number 29, have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightning bearer? Ok, number 30. Monica Geller : Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29. Rachel Green : Not uh, not to my recollection.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel reminisce about a puppet guy who washed his feet in Monica's inner power pool, while Phoebe reveals she didn't let a guy named Paul into her \"forest of righteous truth\" on their first date. The conversation then shifts to Monica's previous answer and Rachel's lack of recollection regarding betraying a goddess for a lightning bearer."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me. Rachel Green : Only 'cause you took up half the circle. Phoebe Buffay : Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone. Rachel Green : Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica. Monica Geller : One hour? You are such a leaf blower. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey uh, be careful with that 3-D last supper, Judas is a little loose. Ross Geller : Oh my God, what's goin' on? Joey Tribbiani : They're takin all my stuff back. I guess you were right. Ross Geller : No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks Ross.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over a bottle in a circle, while Phoebe joins them and reveals she will be attending goddess meetings alone. Monica and Rachel then discuss Jason Hurley, with Monica revealing that Phoebe slept with him an hour after he broke up with her. Joey enters and mentions that Judas is loose, before Ross arrives and shares his own personal struggles with security."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition. Joey Tribbiani : I went. Ross Geller : Great, how did it go? Joey Tribbiani : I didn't get it. Ross Geller : Good for you. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : You're livin' the dream. Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Ross Geller : All right then. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, not my parrot.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a conversation about an audition for a cab driver role, with Joey expressing frustration that he didn't get the part despite Ross's encouragement to hold out for something bigger."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : I can't watch this. Ross Geller : Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird? Mover : 1200. Ross Geller : Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register. Ross Geller : Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200? Mover : Uh, the dog. Ross Geller : Huh. Mover : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue over a plastic bird that Joey impulsively bought for $1200. The mover suggests selling the dog to raise money."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'll take it. My gift to you man. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks Ross. I really like that bird though...I'll take the dog though. Rachel Green : Here are your cakes. Monica Geller : We didn't order cake. Rachel Green : No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other. Monica Geller : You're right. Rachel Green : You know. Phoebe Buffay : I love you goddesses. I don't ever want to suck your wind again. Rachel Green : Thank you. So are we good? Monica Geller : We're good.", "summary": "Ross gives a gift to Joey, but Joey takes the wrong item. Meanwhile, Rachel brings cakes without permission and Monica doesn't want them. The group discusses the issue and Phoebe expresses her discomfort with sucking their wind. Finally, the group agrees they are good."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : We're good? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck. Chandler Bing : Ding dong, the psycho's gone. Monica Geller : Are you sure this time? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD! Eddie Menuek : Check it out man, I tore it off some mannaquin in the alley behind Macy's. Monica Geller : There is no alley behind Macy's. Eddie Menuek : So I got it in the junior miss department, big diff. Anyway check it out man, it's gonna make a hell of a conversation piece at out next cocktail party, huh pal? Chandler Bing : Our next cocktail party?", "summary": "Rachel returns cakes to her paycheck. Phoebe says she's gone. Chandler sees a guy holding a human head in a window. Monica dismisses Eddie's claim of finding it in a department store. Eddie plans to use it as a conversation piece at their next cocktail party."}
-{"dialogues": "Eddie Menuek : Yeah, you know, put chips in it, we'll make like a chip chick. Chandler Bing : Eddie, do you remember yesterday? Eddie Menuek : Uh yes, I think I vaguely recall it. Chandler Bing : Do you remember talking to me yesterday? Eddie Menuek : Uh, yes. Chandler Bing : So what happened? Eddie Menuek : We took a road trip to Las Vegas man. Chandler Bing : Oh sweet Moses. Monica Geller : So on this road trip, did you guys win any money? Eddie Menuek : Naah, I crapped out, but Mr. 21 over here he cleans up, 300 bucks, check it out he buys me these new shoes, sweet huh?", "summary": "Eddie and Chandler go on a road trip to Las Vegas, where Eddie loses money at the casino. Chandler wins $300 and buys Eddie new shoes as a consolation prize."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Nice. Eddie Menuek : Yeah. Well see ya upstairs. See ya pals. Phoebe Buffay : Is anyone else starting to really like him? Chandler Bing : May I help you? Eddie Menuek : Why doesn't my key work and what's all my stuff doin' downstairs? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm, I'm sorry... Ahhh. Have we met? Eddie Menuek : It's Eddie you freak, your roommate. Chandler Bing : I, I'm sorry, I uh I already have a roommate. Joey Tribbiani : Hello. Chandler Bing : Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man.", "summary": "Eddie Menuek visits Chandler and tries to use his key, but it doesn't work. He becomes confused and frustrated, while Chandler claims he has never met him before despite being his roommate. Eddie is unaware of this and Joey enters the room, greeting them both."}
-{"dialogues": "Eddie Menuek : No he, he moved out and I moved in. Chandler Bing : Well I, I think we'd remember something like that. Joey Tribbiani : I know I would. Eddie Menuek : Well that's uh, that's a good point. Um ok, well, uh, I guess I got the wrong apartment then. I, I'm, look, I'm, ya know, I'm sorry, I'm terriably sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey no problem. Chandler Bing : See ya. Goodbuy you fruit drying psychopath. So you want me to help you unpack your stuff? Joey Tribbiani : Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is... Chandler Bing : Welcome home man. Joey Tribbiani : A little foos? Chandler Bing : Absolutely.", "summary": "Eddie moved out and Joey moved in. Eddie apologizes for getting the wrong apartment, but Joey doesn't mind. Chandler joins in and makes a joke about Eddie being a \"fruit drying psychopath.\" They all say their goodbyes before Chandler welcomes Joey back home."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What happened to the foosball? Chandler Bing : Ah that's a cantelope. Chandler Bing : Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over? Joey Tribbiani : He paid a lot of money for it. Chandler Bing : I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky. Chandler Bing : So is he housetrained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay. Good, STAY! Good fake dog. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Watcha guys doin? Richard Burke : Monica's making us watch Old Yeller. Phoebe Buffay : Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Chandler argue over a foosball table that Joey bought but now regrets, while Phoebe tries to cheer them up by watching an old movie with Richard."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : What're you talkin' about? Phoebe Buffay : C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun. Ross Geller : Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end? Phoebe Buffay : What when Yeller saves saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy? Rachel Green : That's not the end. Phoebe Buffay : Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'. Monica Geller : What about the part where he has rabies? Phoebe Buffay : He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said. Richard Burke : Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.", "summary": "Ross saves the family from a wolf and everyone is happy, but then he has rabies and almost hurts someone."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What, what's about to happen? I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. Monica Geller : Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves. Joey Tribbiani : Ya know, one of these times you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over. Monica Geller : Alright, I've got a leg, three breasts and a wing. Chandler Bing : Well, how do you find clothes that fit? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question. Monica Geller : Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look. Joey Tribbiani : No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket. Chandler Bing : Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?' Monica Geller : Ok. Hey, why don't you ask Richard?", "summary": "* Phoebe finds out about a dramatic event happening and tries to stop Travis from doing something dangerous with a gun.\n* Monica offers leftover food, but Chandler struggles to find clothes that fit him properly.\n* Joey wonders who to bring to a Knicks game, while Monica has already answered the question."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick? Richard Burke : Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan. Chandler Bing : Ok, that's Eric. Richard Burke : Glad to be of help. Matches. Monica Geller : I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Monica Geller : C'mon. Keeps his fingers to himself and he's always minty fresh. Chandler Bing : I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings. Monica Geller : So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag. Joey Tribbiani : How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?", "summary": "The group debates who to bring to a Knicks game, with Joey considering two friends - one who smells and one who bruises. Richard suggests taking a huge Knicks fan, but Chandler is unsure due to Richard's age. Monica argues that Richard is important to her and might take them on his Jag if asked. The group struggles to decide while also trying to come up with a way to say yes without seeming like they're only doing it for the cool car ride."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ok, this could be tough. Joey Tribbiani : Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar. Chandler Bing : Ooh, you almost had it. Ross Geller : No no, you're fine, you're fine. Carol Willick : Hello Ross Geller : Hi. Susan Bunch : Hey. Carol Willick : Hi honey. Ross Geller : Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened. Carol Willick : What?", "summary": "The group plans to bring Chandler to a party, but only if he takes the Jaguar. Chandler almost gets it right, and Ross intervenes."}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : What? Ross Geller : Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it. Carol Willick : Uhh, we know, he already did it last week. Susan Bunch : You can watch our tape if you want. Ross Geller : I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour? Carol Willick : Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen. Ross Geller : Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like- Carol Willick : Great. That would be fine. Ross Geller : Really? I mean, I, I had a whole speach prepared. Susan Bunch : Oh shout, that would have been fun.", "summary": "Ross and Carol discuss their baby's milestones, with Ross expressing regret for missing important moments in his child's life due to work. They mention the baby's ability to stand and say \"yumen,\" but Ross is eager to spend more time with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey Phoebs, whatcha got there? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, Love Story, Brian's Song, and Terms of Endearment. Monica Geller : Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?", "summary": "Ross sees someone wave and gets excited, while Phoebe talks about movies she has and Rachel brings up a party idea. Monica mentions guacamole and Chandler joins in. Joey and Rachel talk briefly before Monica asks where Richard is."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car. Monica Geller : So'd you guys have fun? Chandler Bing : Your boyfriend is so cool. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15. Rachel Green : Wow, he must like you the best. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats . Chandler Bing : You're welcome. Hey Joey, thanks for parking the car . Joey Tribbiani : No problem. Hey Chandler Chandler Bing : I think they get it.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A group of friends (Joey, Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Ross) steal a man's lunch money and give him a wedgie before parking his car. They then discuss their fun experiences, with Chandler mentioning that he let Joey drive his Jaguar for 12 blocks and Monica driving for 15 blocks. Rachel is impressed by Chandler's generosity and the group continues to chat about their various antics."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Chandler Bing : There's the man. Joey Tribbiani : He-he-eyy. Richard Burke : Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. He kept my dollar. Monica Geller : So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do? Carol Willick : Uh, we're going down to Colonial Williamsburg. Susan Bunch : Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there. Ross Geller : Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg. Carol Willick : Think I better go before mommy starts weeping.", "summary": "Monica and Richard are planning a weekend getaway to Colonial Williamsburg without Ben, while Joey and Chandler have a conversation about Joey's acting skills and Richard compliments him. Meanwhile, Carol is concerned about visiting Colonial Williamsburg due to its lack of representation of women in historical roles."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Buy mommy. Carol Willick : We love you. Buy. Ross Geller : Have a good time. Ok, Ben. Monica Geller : Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Look. Joey, do you know we can see you from here? Joey Tribbiani : How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me? Ross Geller : Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula. Monica Geller : You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard. Joey Tribbiani : Not like him, per-se, just not un-like him.", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Carol to buy his mother a present, but she and Ben have other ideas. Ross has a good time with Monica, but Joey is more interested in trying to emulate Richard's coolness."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler. Chandler Bing : Just tryin' somethin' here, ya know. Monica Geller : So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache? Joey Tribbiani : Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks. Ross Geller : Yeah, you really sidestepped that land mine. Chandler Bing : Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs. Monica Geller : You're meeting Richard? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we're goin' to a Ranger game. Chandler Bing : Yeah, didn't he tell ya? Monica Geller : Well, he told me he was going out with the guys, I just didn't know that you were the guys.", "summary": "Monica and Joey are talking about why Joey didn't grow a moustache, while Ross and Chandler make snide comments from the sidelines. Meanwhile, Chandler has promised to meet someone named Richard downstairs."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You hear that? We're the guys. Joey Tribbiani : We're the guys. Monica Geller : With that moustache doesn't Chandler remind you of Aunt Sylvia? Ross Geller : Thank you. Ross Geller : Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try. Rachel Green : No luck huh? Ross Geller : Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah sure, Ok. Ross Geller : What're you doing? Rachel Green : Uh, I'm holding Ben.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are visiting Ben and his father, but Ross is distracted by a moustache that resembles his Aunt Sylvia. Chandler and Joey try to assert their masculinity, while Monica teases Ross about holding Ben."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb. Rachel Green : Ok. Ross Geller : Well just hold him like you'd hold a football. Rachel Green : This is how I would hold a football. Ross Geller : Ok, here, here. There we go. Rachel Green : Ok, I'm sorry, I'm just not very good with babies. I mean I haven't been around them, I mean, you know, since I was one. Ross Geller : It's alright, it's no big deal. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah, definitely, I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby. Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss babies, with Ross suggesting holding a baby like holding a football. Rachel expresses hesitation and lack of experience with babies, to which Ross reassures her that she will feel differently when their own baby arrives."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : You think about stuff like that? Ross Geller : Uhh, yeah. I mean, actually I kinda think that we'll have, we'll have two babies. Rachel Green : Two, two babies? Ross Geller : Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive. Rachel Green : Then what's gonna happen? Ross Geller : Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great. Rachel Green : Wow. Wow, that's great. Great. Ok, wow, you know what.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their future children and where they will live. They decide to move to Scarsdale with their kids so they can be close enough to their parents for help but far enough away that they don't have to see them often."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Richard Burke : Hey Phoebs, what's happening? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok, murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes. Monica Geller : So you watched the movies huh? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies. Richard Burke : Charlotte who? Phoebe Buffay : With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud. Monica Geller : Alright, you wanna feel better?", "summary": "Rachel Green is back from her break and gives Ross Geller a task while she pours coffee for other people. Phoebe Buffay enters and talks to Richard Burke about various events happening in the world, including ET leaving and Rocky losing. Monica Geller joins the conversation and asks if watching movies can make them feel better."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Ok, here, watch this. Phoebe Buffay : It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this. Monica Geller : So you can't lose, it's there in the title. Wonderfullness is baked right in. Phoebe Buffay : Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease. Richard Burke : Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming? Phoebe Buffay : Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity. Chandler Bing : Hey, big guy, game time. Richard Burke : Hey, be right there. Monica Geller : There's a game?", "summary": "A conversation about a movie called \"It's a Wonderful Life\" where one person mentions they have heard of it and the other person suggests it's a feel-good film with wonderfulness baked in. Another character brings up a different movie, \"Pride of the Yankees,\" which is actually about Lou Gehrig's disease. The conversation then turns to a game time."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Uh, yeah, I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel. Richard Burke : It's the basketball playoffs. Monica Geller : Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other. Richard Burke : Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?' Monica Geller : Alright that's great, then just go. Go Knicks. Richard Burke : Uh, it's the college playoffs. Monica Geller : Oh, then go Vassar. Richard Burke : Uh, they're not in it. Monica Geller : Ok, then just go. Richard Burke : Ok.", "summary": "The group discusses basketball playoffs and college teams, with Richard Burke expressing his enjoyment of hanging out with a particular group of friends despite their quirky habits. Monica Geller encourages him to go watch a game, but he reveals that the team he wants to support is not participating in the playoffs."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Monica Geller : It's just that he doesn't have that much free time, ya know, and I don't know, what do I do? Phoebe Buffay : Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off. Rachel Green : Aghh. Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Monica Geller : I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys. Rachel Green : Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century. Monica Geller : Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles. Ross Geller : Ok, what the hell happened back there?", "summary": "Monica wants to spend 24 hours a day with her boyfriend but he doesn't have much free time, and she doesn't know what to do. Phoebe suggests it doesn't matter since they will eventually die or get divorced. Rachel agrees and Monica goes to her room to read Cosmo for helpful advice."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes. Ross Geller : Well I'm sorry, I think about stuff. Ya know, I mean, you're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders. Rachel Green : Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks. Ross Geller : C'mon, what, you never think about our future? Rachel Green : Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be. Ross Geller : No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good. Rachel Green : What was the book? Ross Geller : The big book of childrens' names. Rachel Green : Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing. Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel and Ross argue about their future plans and children's names."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that. Ross Geller : Ok fine. Rachel Green : Thank you. Ross Geller : We're not done. Rachel Green : I didn't know that. Ross Geller : Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that. Rachel Green : Fine, I will. Ross Geller : Good, 'cause I love you. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Rachel wants to make her own decisions and not have everything planned out for her, which scares Ross. They argue about it but ultimately decide to be together despite their differences."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well I love you too. Ross Geller : Well that's the first time we've said that. Rachel Green : Yes it is. Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna kiss you. Rachel Green : Well you better. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip. Monica Geller : Did you like it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed. Monica Geller : Alright, I'll give you the ear thing but don't you think the ending was pretty wonderful? Phoebe Buffay : I didn't watch the ending, I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse, it should have been called, \"It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does.\"", "summary": "Ross says he loves Rachel, they both say it back for the first time, then Ross tries to kiss her. Phoebe interrupts and talks about a movie she watched with Monica. They discuss how sad the movie was and how it should have had a different title."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Kick save and... denied. Richard Burke : But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier? Joey Tribbiani : Man you are incredible. Richard Burke : Well, we had a table in college. Chandler Bing : Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's. Richard Burke : Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in. Monica Geller : Honey. Uh, not to sound too Florence Henderson but, dinner's on the table. Richard Burke : Ok, just one more point. Monica Geller : Score! Now can we go? Chandler Bing : See, that's why we don't let her play.", "summary": "Chandler and Richard play foosball, with Chandler making a impressive shot only for Richard to block it and then score a goal of his own. Joey compliments Richard on his skills, while Monica tries to get them to stop playing and eat dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Is everything all right? Monica Geller : Um-hmm. Richard Burke : Uh-oh. Chandler Bing : Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's just really great to hang around with. Richard Burke : Well. Joey Tribbiani : No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here. Richard Burke : Uh, you guys see me as a dad? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Chandler Bing : No.", "summary": "Monica and Richard have an awkward conversation. Chandler and Joey apologize for taking up too much of Richard's time. Joey says that Richard is cooler than their dads."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Nooooo. Chandler Bing : Your just, your just clearly not familiar with our young persons vernacular. See, when we say dad, we mean buddy. We mean pal. Richard Burke : Uh-huh, yeah. Chandler Bing : No no, seriously, Joey's my dad, Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work. Richard Burke : That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around. Monica Geller : Nighty-nite. Chandler Bing : You're not a dad. You're not a dad. Joey Tribbiani : Not a dad. Chandler Bing : I can't believe you got us into trouble. Monica Geller : So are you ok?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Chandler get into a misunderstanding about their fathers, with Joey insisting that Chandler is his dad and Chandler maintaining that he's not. Richard Burke joins in, adding to the confusion. The group eventually settles the matter, but not before Chandler laments getting them into trouble."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys. Monica Geller : Come here. I'll make you feel like one of the guys. You know for a really cool guy, you suck at foosball. Richard Burke : What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em. Monica Geller : Yeah, well they suck too. Ross Geller : Ok, and then you take the poopie diaper and you put it in the poopie diaper pail. Rachel Green : Ok Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter. Ross Geller : Hello. Carol Willick : It's us. Ross Geller : Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. Rachel Green : Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.", "summary": "Richard feels like he's older than he is and Monica tries to make him feel better by offering to play foosball with him. Richard claims he was doing well but Monica disagrees. Ross joins in and they start calling each other silly names. Carol arrives and Ross helps her move in. Rachel joins them and they have a conversation about the diaper changing process, which Rachel finds unpleasant."}
-{"dialogues": "Ben Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'. Ross Geller : Wha, what? Rachel Green : Ben just said hi. Ross Geller : What, the word hi? Rachel Green : Ye-, no, my Uncle Hi. Ross Geller : Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just bring it out in him. Carol Willick : Hello. Rachel Green : Guess what. Ben just said his first word.", "summary": "Ben said \"Hi.\" Ross and Rachel are confused. Rachel mentions her Uncle Hi. Ross misses him."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : What did he say? Ross Geller : Something about hi. Susan Bunch : That's so exciting. Carol Willick : Mommy is so proud of you. Hi. Hi. Rachel Green : You know, actually it's more like, hi. Carol Willick : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Carol Willick : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Carol Willick : Hi.", "summary": "Ross says something about \"hi\" and Carol is proud of him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi. Carol Willick : Hi. Susan Bunch : Ok, this could go on for a while. Carol Willick : We've got a cab waiting downstairs. Ross Geller : Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him. Carol Willick : Tuesday. Ross Geller : Tuesday right. Ok, bye you guys. Rachel Green : Take care. Ross Geller : Bye Ben. Ben Geller : Bye.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel meet up with Carol and Susan for drinks, but the conversation drags on and they decide to end it early."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me. Susan Bunch : Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college. Carol Willick : We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting. Ross Geller : Alright, alright, ok. Bye. Ben Geller : Bye. Ross Geller : Bye. Ben Geller : Bye. Ross Geller : Bye. Ben Geller : Bye. Ross Geller : Bye.", "summary": "Ross says goodbye to his friends and family as he prepares to leave for college."}
-{"dialogues": "Ernie : Oh wow, look at this nice deep hole I've been digging. Hey Bert, isn't this a nice hole here. Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. Ernie : Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm so glad you're here. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel? Monica Geller : 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting. Rachel Green : Ok honey, you really need a job. Ross Geller : Mon, speaking of which, dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview. Monica Geller : Really. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.", "summary": "Bert gets buried in a hole by Ernie before being found again."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say behuh. Phoebe Buffay : No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name. #ALL# : Ahh. Phoebe Buffay : And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken. Monica Geller : His indian name? Phoebe Buffay : No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so. Ross Geller : Freakish. Monica Geller : Wow. Joey Tribbiani : Freaky. Monica Geller : Weird, weird.", "summary": "Phoebe sees signs and coincidences related to her father everywhere she goes after Ross mentions \"dad.\" Phoebe has a history of chickening out when trying to meet her father."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, so uh, who wants the last hamburger? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him. Monica Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist. Chandler Bing : Man, I am so beat. Ross Geller : Oh yeah. Chandler Bing : Hey, you just wanna forget about raquetball and hang out here? Ross Geller : Yeah alright. Big Bully : Hey you're in our seats. Ross Geller : Oh, sorry we didn't know.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to go see someone, but Monica doesn't understand why. Rachel offers her the last hamburger, but Phoebe is distracted by a song about a farm. Chandler and Ross hang out after playing raquetball, while Big Bully confronts them about sitting in their seats."}
-{"dialogues": "Little Bully : Hey, we were sitting there. Chandler Bing : Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it? Little Bully : Is that supposed to be funny? Chandler Bing : No actually, I was just going for colorful. Big Bully : What's with this guy? Little Bully : What's with you? Ross Geller : Uh, nothing, nothing's with him. Enjoy your coffee. Chandler Bing : What just happened? Little Bully : I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My, my joke is that I, I took your hat. Chandler Bing : That, that is funny. Can I have it back?", "summary": "Little Bully and Big Bully are sitting with Chandler Bing when Little Bully takes Chandler's hat. Chandler tries to get it back but Little Bully refuses, leading to a series of jokes about taking hats."}
-{"dialogues": "Little Bully : No. Chandler Bing : No? Big Bully : No. Ross Geller : Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat. Big Bully : Why should we? Ross Geller : Because it's a special hat. See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler... Chandler Bing : Stop talking, stop talking now. Let me just get this straight. You're actually stealing my hat? Big Bully : You got a problem with that? Chandler Bing : No, just wanna make sure we're on the same page. Rachel Green : Hey, how'd the interview go?", "summary": "Ross has a special hat he bought to cheer himself up, but it's stolen by Big Bully. Chandler tries to get it back, and Ross defends his right to the hat. Rachel asks about an interview."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It bit. It was a 50's theme restraunt. I have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean I was a chef at Cafe des Artistes. I mean how could I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne and Curly Fries? Rachel Green : So don't do it. Monica Geller : How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, relax, go get a beer. Monica Geller : I don't want a beer. Joey Tribbiani : Who said it was for you? Chandler Bing : Hhhiiii. Rachel Green : What's the matter with you? Chandler Bing : The mean guys at the coffee house took my hat. Rachel Green : Noo.", "summary": "Monica is forced to work at a 50s-themed restaurant where she has to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. She only has $127 in her bank account and is hesitant to take the job. Joey suggests she relax with a beer, but Monica declines. Chandler's hat was taken by mean people at the coffee house."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You're kiddin'. Ross Geller : It was ridiculous. Ya know, these guys, they were bullies, actual bullies, ya know. We're grown ups, this kinda stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore. Rachel Green : Oohhh. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Chandler Bing : Ohhh Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, woah, let's go down there and get your hat back. Chandler Bing : Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now. Monica Geller : Hey, I went up. Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss a group of bullies who stole Joey's hat, while Chandler and Rachel exchange quips about the situation. Monica enters with Joey's hat, which she retrieved."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it. Joey Tribbiani : Do what? Monica Geller : Put all my money in me. Rachel Green : Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market. Monica Geller : What's to know? Buy sell, high low, bears bulls... Yes Manhattan...yeah telephone number of the stock...selling store. Joey Tribbiani : See, didn't I tell ya these pillows would be a good idea? Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'. Rachel Green : We love you, we're here for you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah good luck, good luck. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks.", "summary": "Monica invests her money in herself and plans to put all of it in the stock market. Rachel tries to dissuade her, citing a lack of knowledge about the stock market. Joey supports Monica's idea, while Phoebe expresses reservations."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, you uh, you want some sandwich? Rachel Green : Ohh, what is in that? Joey Tribbiani : Olive loaf and ham spread, no mayo. Rachel Green : No no, 'cause mayo, that would make it gross. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, hey, no, oh oh. Rachel Green : Run Phoebe run. Phoebe Buffay : No no no, doggie please. Oh, I do so wanna love all animals, please no. Joey Tribbiani : Get him a bone, get a bone. You gotta bone? Rachel Green : Are you kidding me? Phoebe Buffay : Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. Ok, alright, we have a problem.", "summary": "The group is discussing sandwiches and Phoebe is afraid of the dog."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline. Rachel Green : Ok, here, I know what we can do. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, hey no. Rachel Green : Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say? Joey Tribbiani : Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will. Phoebe Buffay : Are you crazy? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs, he's just a little dog. Ahhh. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Do you have to be a Century 21 real-estate agent to get to wear those really cool jackets?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group tries to figure out how to get Joey's sandwich from the dog."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Do you say this stuff to girls? Big Bully : Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat? Little Bully : And look where they're sitting. Ross Geller : You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door. Big Bully : Maybe we didn't make it clear enough. Little Bully : Yeah. Big Bully : This couch belongs to us. Chandler Bing : Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to. Big Bully : You know what I keep wondering? Why you two are still sitting here. Ross Geller : Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler try to defend their couch against two bullies who claim it belongs to them."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : Fellas, these guys were here first. Big Bully : Oh, sorry, I didn't realize. Little Bully : Sorry. Gunther : There you go. Ross Geller : Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that. Little Bully : He told on us? Big Bully : You told on us? Ross Geller : Well pal, you didn't give me much of a choice. Chandler Bing : Don't play with his things. Ross Geller : I know.", "summary": "The group discovers that someone has been playing with Chandler's belongings without permission. Gunther and Big Bully apologize for not realizing who was there first. Ross thanks Gunther for stepping in, while Little Bully expresses remorse for telling on them."}
-{"dialogues": "Big Bully : Alright, let's take this outside. Ross Geller : Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that? Big Bully : The guy that's about to kick your ass talks like that. Chandler Bing : You had to ask. Ross Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : Ok, ok look, see, the thing is we're, we're not gonna fight you guys. Little Bully : Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again. Chandler Bing : I think you played the Gunther card too soon. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Phoeb's, I think you're good to go. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I don't know.", "summary": "Big Bully and Ross Geller get into an altercation at a coffee shop, with Big Bully threatening violence. Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani intervene, with Chandler accusing Big Bully of playing the \"Gunther card\" too soon. The group ultimately decides not to fight Big Bully and his accomplice."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right. Rachel Green : Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, whatever you need. Hey, you wanna go home? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, thanks. Sorry, again Phoebe Buffay : What was that? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now. Monica Geller : I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo. Rachel Green : Time is money my friend? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you missed, 'Takes money to make money,' and uh, 'Don't make me come down there and kick your wall street butt.'", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is upset about her family situation and feels like she has no one left. Rachel Green tries to offer support but Phoebe gets distracted by Joey Tribbiani's suggestion to go home. Monica Geller wants to buy shares of SGJ, but Joey Tribbiani teases her about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, I made $17 before breakfast, what have you done? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, I had breakfast here so technically I saved $3.50. Rachel Green : How did you make $17. Monica Geller : Well, my financially challenged friends, I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY. Joey Tribbiani : How come those? Monica Geller : Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy. Rachel Green : What happened to uh, MEG.? Monica Geller : MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down. Joey Tribbiani : That is so not my motto. Phoebe Buffay : Hey.", "summary": "Monica invests in shares of CHP and ZXY, making $17. Joey saved $3.50 by eating breakfast at a restaurant. Rachel questions Monica's investment choices. Phoebe enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey Phoebs. Oh hey, how's the dog? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Good. Rachel Green : Oh, thank God. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping. Rachel Green : Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok? Phoebe Buffay : I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.' Joey Tribbiani : Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. Monica Geller : DON'T...be too long with the phone.", "summary": "The group learns that Phoebe's dog has to have stitches and may not be able to grow its ear back fully. Phoebe is hesitant to call her estranged father to deliver the news, so Joey offers to make the call on her behalf. Rachel suggests that Monica should keep an eye on the phone conversation to ensure it doesn't drag on too long."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : She'll be a much better friend when the market closes. Joey Tribbiani : It's a woman. Phoebe Buffay : So talk to her. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, hello Miss Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know that he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within, within 24 hours. Uh, goodbye. Rachel Green : Why the voice. Joey Tribbiani : Hard to say. Chandler Bing : Your cappucino sir. Ross Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Ya know I think this is much better than the coffee house. Ross Geller : Absolutely.", "summary": "Rachel finds Joey's missing dog and he promises to return it within 24 hours. Joey struggles to talk to Phoebe, while Chandler serves cappuccinos at Central Perk. Ross agrees that the coffee house is better than the previous one."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : How come it's not mixing with the water? Chandler Bing : Well the package says you have to uh, constantly keep it moving. Stir and drink, stir and drink, never let it settle. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there. Chandler Bing : Ok. Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : No? Ross Geller : No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys. Chandler Bing : Alright, hang on a second there Custer. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before? Ross Geller : Yeah, sure.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are trying to make coffee at home but it's not mixing well with the water. Joey offers to help and suggests they go to a coffee shop after he returns from his niece's christening. Ross is hesitant and doesn't want to have to deal with Joey every time he wants a decent cup of coffee. Chandler agrees to stand up to the coffee shop owners with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : By someone besides Monica? Ross Geller : No. So what. So what if we get beaten up, maybe that's just something every man has to go through once in his life. Ya know, like a, like a right of passage or somethin'. Chandler Bing : Well, couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Ya know, because I think actually mine's growing back. Monica Geller : I need to borrow a hundred bucks. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Hi, welcome home. I need to borrow a hundred bucks. Rachel Green : For what? Monica Geller : I've gotta get back in the game. Rachel Green : Why, when did you get out of the game? Monica Geller : I don't know, I lost it all ok. I lost it.", "summary": "Monica needs $100 and Joey suggests she could get beaten up as a rite of passage. Chandler jokes about losing his virginity again, while Rachel asks why Monica needs money. Monica explains she wants to get back in the game, but can't remember when she was last in it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh no. Monica Geller : Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too. Rachel Green : Ok. Look uhh, Mon I'm, I'm really sorry. Monica Geller : Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks? Rachel Green : I, I don't have it. Monica Geller : But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs. Rachel Green : Nobody does honey. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Mrs. Buffay : Schnoodle. Oh my God, what the hell happened to my dog? Phoebe Buffay : It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.", "summary": "Monica needs $100 and Rachel doesn't have it. Monica threatens to take a job at a diner if she can't get the money. Phoebe enters the conversation and mentions a dog accident involving Mrs. Buffay's schnoodle."}
-{"dialogues": "Mrs. Buffay : What are these, stitches? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast. Mrs. Buffay : Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him. Phoebe Buffay : Sure, oh, is, is Frank home. Mrs. Buffay : How do you know Frank? Phoebe Buffay : Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here? Mrs. Buffay : Yeah. Frank. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok, um, I mean Frank senior. Mrs. Buffay : He went out for groceries.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nA conversation between two women, Mrs. Buffay and Phoebe Buffay, about a man named Frank who has been injured and is now missing his left leg. They discuss how to care for him and the potential dangers of letting him look up during rainfall. The conversation then shifts to whether or not Frank is home and how they know each other. Finally, Phoebe asks if Frank senior (Frank Buffay Jr.'s father) is home, and Mrs. Buffay confirms that he went out for groceries."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok so will he be back soon? Mrs. Buffay : Well he left four years ago so we're expecting him back any minute now. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, I'm, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry about the dog, everything. I'm sorry. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey lady. Hey wait up. How do you know my dad? Phoebe Buffay : Um well I don't really. Just genetically. He's kinda my dad too. Frank Buffay Jr. : Heavy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. So um, did he ever talk about me, Phoebe? Frank Buffay Jr. : No but he didn't really talk about anything. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Frank Buffay Jr. : Except stilts.", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr.'s father left four years ago and he is expected to return any minute now. Phoebe Buffay, who claims to be genetically related to Frank's father, apologizes for the dog and everything else before quickly leaving. Frank Buffay Jr. returns and meets Phoebe, who tells him that his father never talked about her but only mentioned stilts."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Stilts? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, he loved stilts. One time I was upstairs, I was stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and uh, all of a sudden I look over and there's my dad's head bobbing past the window. He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving 'cause he was always happiest when he was on his stilts. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I don't know what to do with that. Frank Buffay Jr. : Me neither. So you're like my big sister. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Frank Buffay Jr. : This is huge, you can buy me beer. Phoebe Buffay : I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.' Frank Buffay Jr. : I gotta friend named Mark.", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr. shares a personal story about his father, who was happy when he was on stilts. Phoebe Buffay is surprised and doesn't know how to react. Frank asks her for help in buying beer, but she declines. Later, Frank mentions that he has a friend named Mark."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That'll work too. Frank Buffay Jr. : Cool, alright. So maybe, ya know, I could give you a call sometime, we could talk or somethin'. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, that'd be ok. Frank Buffay Jr. : Alright. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I'm in the book. Frank Buffay Jr. : Ok, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Alright. So um, stilts huh? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Ross Geller : Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take?", "summary": "Frank Jr. suggests calling Phoebe to talk, but she agrees. They discuss seeing each other and Frank reveals he has a secret spot to show where his father hit his head on a rain gutter. Phoebe agrees to see him there. Meanwhile, Ross and Joey are at a coffee shop trying to determine how long it takes for a cup of coffee to brew."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Would you come on! Come on! Thank you. Chandler Bing : Ah, there we go. Ross Geller : I think we proved our point. Chandler Bing : You burn your mouth? Ross Geller : Cannot feel my tounge. Chandler Bing : Bullies, big bullies. Little Bully : Oh, look who's here, it's the weenies. Big Bully : Did we not make ourselves clear the other day. Ross Geller : Yes, and that's why we're here. Chandler Bing : Yes, we're standing out ground...apparently.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue with bullies who made fun of their small size; they prove their point but suffer from burnt mouths and numb tongues."}
-{"dialogues": "Little Bully : Let's do this alright. Ross Geller : Woah, ho-ho, whad'ya got there, a weapon? Little Bully : It's a nice watch, I don't wanna break it on your ribs. Chandler Bing : Alright, let's do this. Little Bully : Alright. Chandler Bing : Question. If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon? Ross Geller : Whad'ya mean? Chandler Bing : Well, it's sharp, it's metal, I think I can do some, you know, serious damage with it. Big Bully : No, you can't use your watch. Chandler Bing : Ok.", "summary": "Little Bully and Chandler Bing engage in a fight, while Ross Geller tries to intervene. Chandler suggests using his watch as a weapon, but Big Bully forbids it."}
-{"dialogues": "Big Bully : Or your keys. Chandler Bing : Ok. Little Bully : Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. Alright, c'mon man, let's do this. Ross Geller : Before I forget, are we hitting faces? Big Bully : Of course we're hitting faces, why wouldn't you hit faces? Ross Geller : Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation. Little Bully : Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea. Big Bully : Ok, nothing from the neck up. Or the waist down. Dana's ovulating. Little Bully : Oh really, you guys tryin' again? Big Bully : Yeah.", "summary": "Big Bully suggests putting all keys and watches in a hat. Chandler agrees. Ross wants to hit faces but has a big presentation on Monday. Little Bully suggests not hitting faces because he has to show an apartment the next day and doesn't want to get caught. Big Bully agrees to nothing from the neck up or waist down, mentioning that Dana is ovulating."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ok, so let me just get this straight. So we're uh, strictly talking about the middle? Big Bully : C'MON! Ross Geller : Hey, hey, woah, you want some of this, huh? You want a piece of this, huh? I'm standin here, huh. Chandler Bing : Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! Ross Geller : Hey. Big Bully : Hey. Ross Geller : God, that was, that was amazing, that was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt. Little Bully : Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy. Ross Geller : Yeah he was wasn't he. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I wouldn't know having missed everything.", "summary": "Middle school bullies pick on Chandler and Ross while they are trying to play video games. They steal their stuff and taunt them. Ross and Chandler fight back and defeat the bullies."}
-{"dialogues": "Big Bully : Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope. Ross Geller : So, listen guys, are we uh, are we ok here? Little Bully : We're ok. Ross Geller : Alright. Chandler Bing : Ok so, can I have my hat back? Little Bully : No. Chandler Bing : Huh. Rachel Green : Look at her. Chandler Bing : Hi Monica. Joey Tribbiani : He-he-he, how's it goin'?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler encounter a little girl who has tripped over a jump rope, but Big Bully prevents them from helping her. Ross tries to check if everyone is okay, but Little Bully dismisses his concern. Meanwhile, Joey makes an awkward comment towards Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey nice boobs. Chandler Bing : Guys guys, check this out. Joey Tribbiani : Excellent. Monica Geller : So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon. #ALL# : Ohhh. Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things? Monica Geller : You wanna be in charge of the food committee? Ross Geller : Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees? Joey Tribbiani : Really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends plan a surprise party for Rachel's birthday, with Monica in charge of food. Ross questions why they always have parties with committees, and Joey suggests just getting pizzas and beer instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are. Monica Geller : Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special, fine. You can throw any kind of party you want. Monica Geller : Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See honk honk. Chandler Bing : Wow, it's, it's like porno for clowns. Ross Geller : I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come. Monica Geller : Ok, um so, I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper. Joey Tribbiani : Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper. Phoebe Buffay : Why not her? Joey Tribbiani : Cause she uh, she steals stuff.", "summary": "Phoebe and Ross agree that fancy parties are only fun if you're \"fancy on the inside,\" while Monica suggests a more low-key celebration. Joey makes a comment about the invitees, and Chandler compares the party to a pornographic clown video. Ross reveals that he spoke to Rachel's sisters, who cannot attend, and Monica still intends to invite Dillon, Emma, and Shannon Cooper. However, Phoebe objects to inviting Shannon due to her reputation for stealing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back. Monica Geller : Joey that is horriable. Joey Tribbiani : Hey I liked her, alright. Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know I guess I just got scared. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I didn't know. Joey Tribbiani : I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok. Ross Geller : Hi honey, how did it go? Rachel Green : Agh, it was the graduation from hell. Chandler Bing : Ya know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship. Rachel Green : Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica. Monica Geller : So what happened?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey slept with a woman but never called her back; Chandler's cousin went to hell on a football scholarship; Rachel's sister graduated from college despite not thinking she would."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents. Monica Geller : Well, how bout just her mom? Chandler Bing : Why her mom? Monica Geller : Cause I already invited her. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake? Monica Geller : Ok, we're not having birthday cake, we're having birthday flan. Chandler Bing : Excuse me?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends gather to celebrate Rachel's parents' divorce with a party, but things quickly go awry when they get into a huge fight during the commencement address. Despite the chaos, Rachel finds solace in serving coffee for 8 hours."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's nice. Happy birthday Rachel, here's some goo. Monica Geller : Dr. Greene. Oh my God it's Rachel's dad. What're you doing here? Leonard Green : What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday? Monica Geller : No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye. Leonard Green : Ohhh, you're having a parteee. Monica Geller : No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey. Leonard Green : I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it? Chandler Bing : This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir? Sandra Green : Hi Monica.", "summary": "Rachel returns home to find a surprise gathering of her friends and family, including her father, who unexpectedly shows up uninvited. Confusion ensues as Monica tries to cover for Rachel's absence and Leonard attempts to understand the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus. Chandler Bing : So, basically just a Chinese guy. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hey, Dr. Greene, why don't you come with me, we'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed. Leonard Green : Alright, that sounds like a two person job. Sandra Green : Well, my goodness, what was that? Monica Geller : Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we just weren't ready for you yet. Sandra Green : You thought I was Rachel? Chandler Bing : Yes because uh, you look so young. Phoebe Buffay : And because you're both, you know, white women. Sandra Green : Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?", "summary": "Monica mistakes a new woman for Rachel and apologizes for not being ready to greet her yet. The group discusses how young Sandra looks and compares her to Rachel, leading to confusion and hilarity ensues."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : NO! No, I'll take that for ya. Sandra Green : Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was... Phoebe Buffay : Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. Monica Geller : Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Chandler Bing : Ok, think, what would Jack and Chrissy do? Joey Tribbiani : Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, oh, ok we can come back out in the living room. Monica Geller : So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place. Chandler Bing : Uhh, yes, absdolutely, um. Why again? Monica Geller : Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area. Joey Tribbiani : Right this is staging.", "summary": "Sandra Green shares a funny story on her way to a gathering, which makes Phoebe Buffay excited to hear more. Monica Geller suggests that Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani take Dr. Greene to their home for the party since it's closer. However, Chandler is hesitant and keeps making excuses before Monica reminds him that they should follow Jack and Chrissy's example."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, this more than anything else, is the staging area. Joey Tribbiani : This is clearly in the wrong apartment. Chandler Bing : Alright you guys are off to party number one and you, you are off to party number two Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin. Monica Geller : Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? Alright that's Ross. Chandler Bing : Ok, they're coming, shhh. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you for the wonderful dinner. Ross Geller : Thanks for being born. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you. Ross Geller : Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok. Rachel Green : Now I love you even more.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Joey are preparing for different parties, while Monica asks Chandler to send women to her party. Rachel thanks Ross for dinner and earrings, and later expresses her love for him after exchanging them."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Surprise. Rachel Green : Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great. Sandra Green : Happy birthday sweetie. Rachel Green : Wow you, you. I had no idea. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : No, I knew. Ross Geller : All right. Monica Geller : Ok, everybody, there's food and drinks on the table. Go across the hall. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Rachel surprises her mother Sandra with a party for her birthday, which includes Monica, Ross, and other friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now. Rachel Green : Why. Monica Geller : Just go. #ALL# : Surprise. Leonard Green : Happy birthday sweetpea. Rachel Green : Daddy. Rachel Green : Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here? Chandler Bing : Well, we could count again. Rachel Green : I can't believe this is happening. Ross Geller : You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.", "summary": "Ross tries to make Rachel's birthday party special despite the unexpected arrival of Joey and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I do. Ross Geller : That's who. Chandler Bing : Look, are you gonna be ok? Rachel Green : Well, I have to be, I don't really have a choice, I mean, you know, I could look at the bright side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes. Chandler Bing : Well, actually just one birthday flan. Rachel Green : What? Chandler Bing : It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee. Chandler Bing : Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party. Joey Tribbiani : Quick volleyball question. Chandler Bing : Volleyball.", "summary": "Rachel gets two birthday parties and cakes while dealing with a difficult situation; Chandler shares his unusual party experience; Joey asks a quick volleyball question."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you? Chandler Bing : Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you. Girl's Voice : Dennis. Chandler Bing : Ok, that's me. Rachel Green : Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while. Ross Geller : Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers? Rachel Green : Uhh, let's just stay clear of 'I'm the guy that's doing you daughter' and you should be ok. Monica Geller : Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out. Ross Geller : Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game? Leonard Green : It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler set up a court in Joey's room, but Chandler is distracted by a woman who stuck her tongue down his throat. Rachel asks Monica to keep her father occupied while she talks to her mother, and Ross seeks ideas for opening lines at a party. Meanwhile, Dr. Leonard Green shares a tragic event that occurred during his shift as a vascular surgeon."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead. Monica Geller : Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. Gunther, where're you going? Gunther : I um, was sorta thinking about maybe... Monica Geller : No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker. Phoebe Buffay : Listen if you wanna go, just go. Gunther : No, she'll yell at me again. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, I can get you out. Gunther : What? Phoebe Buffay : Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back. Leonard Green : I think I need a drink.", "summary": "Ross has dead dinosaurs on his desk, while Monica notices some coworkers placing them on without pushing the caps to hear the clicks. Gunther wants to leave but Phoebe offers an escape route; Leonard joins the conversation and requests a drink."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want? Leonard Green : Scotch. Ross Geller : Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass. Leonard Green : Neat. Ross Geller : Cool. Leonard Green : No no no, no no no, neat, as in no rocks. Ross Geller : I know. Leonard Green : Oh hello Ross, where have you been? Ross Geller : Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse. Sandra Green : Oh, scotch neat. Ya know, that's Rachel's father's drink.", "summary": "Ross gets Leonard a scotch, but Leonard wants it neat instead of on rocks. Ross has been in the bathroom and warns Sandra about the salmon mousse."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister? Leonard Green : I'm getting my cigarettes out of my jacket. Ross Geller : No. no. Leonard Green : Whad'ya mean no? Ross Geller : No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir. Leonard Green : Get my glasses too. Ross Geller : All righty roo. What a great moment to say that for the first time. Monica Geller : Ok, the first person's most embarassing memory is, 'Monica, your party sucks.' Very funny. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster? Monica Geller : What? I don't see anything.", "summary": "Ross and Leonard are at a party, where Ross tries to stop Leonard from entering a staging area that would ruin the illusion of the party. Monica reveals that the first person's embarrassing memory is \"Monica, your party sucks,\" while Phoebe finds a coaster."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Great, I'm seeing water rings again. Judy Geller : Ross, whose glasses are those? Ross Geller : Mine. Sandra Green : You wear bi-focals? Ross Geller : Um-hmm. I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals. Sandra Green : Did you know my husband has glasses just like that? Rachel Green : Well those are very popular frames. Ross Geller : Neil Sedaka wears them. Guy : I hear you can get people out of here. Sandra Green : Rachel, you didn't tell me your boyfriend smoked.", "summary": "Ross has glasses with two different sets of focal points, and Judy asks whose glasses they are. Ross explains he has a condition that requires bifocal lenses. Sandra mentions her husband has similar frames, and Rachel notes their popularity. Guy makes a comment about people leaving the conversation, and Sandra reveals Rachel's boyfriend smokes."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, like a chimney. Ross Geller : Ohh, big smoker. Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. Leonard Green : Are you wearing my glasses? Ross Geller : Yes. I was just warming up the earpieces for you. Leonard Green : Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes? Ross Geller : Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute. Girl 1 : What about my friend Victor? Phoebe Buffay : No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious. Girl 1 : Alright, let me just get my coat.", "summary": "Ross starts a fire in the hallway, Leonard finds his glasses, and Phoebe tries to sneak them out of the room without Rachel noticing."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : There isn't time. You must leave everything. They'll take care of you next door. Girl 1 : Is it true they have beer? Phoebe Buffay : Everything you've heard is true. Monica Geller : Could you guys please try to keep it down, we're trying to start a Boggle tournament. Monica Geller : You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here? Gunther : Um Phoebe Buffay : Ok, welcome to the fu-oh. Monica Geller : Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go. Monica Geller : Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance...", "summary": "A group of friends are trying to enjoy their Saturday night when Phoebe Buffay shows up unannounced and insists they leave everything and come with her. There is a debate about whether or not there is beer available next door, and Monica Geller tries to keep the noise level down while starting a Boggle tournament. Gunther appears and Monica invites him to her party, but Phoebe interrupts and takes control of the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You want me to see a therapist? Sandra Green : Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem. You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father. Rachel Green : Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing. Leonard Green : Did you know your mother spent $1200 dollars on bansai trees. I felt like Gulliver around that place. Rachel Green : Daddy, daddy, you know what, I really wanna hear more about this, I really do, but I just have, I just have to do a, some stuff. Sandra Green : You work and you work and you work at a marriage but all he cares about is his stupid boat. Leonard Green : You work and you work and you work on a boat... Sandra Green : He always ridiculed my pottery classs... Leonard Green : ...and you sand it and you varnish it... Sandra Green : ...but when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.", "summary": "Rachel has a conversation with her mother Sandra about her relationship problems, including the fact that her boyfriend is similar to her father. Her mother suggests she see a therapist. Meanwhile, Leonard, Rachel's father, reveals that he spent a large amount of money on bonsai trees and feels like Gulliver in the household. The conversation then turns to Leonard's own marriage problems, including his wife's pottery class and his constant ridicule of her hobbies."}
-{"dialogues": "Leonard Green : ...and her yoga and her Bridges of Madison County... Sandra Green : ...the scotch and the cigarettes... Leonard Green : ...and the bansai's and the chiuaua... Sandra Green : ...I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now dear but... Leonard Green : ...what the hell does she want with half a boat... Chandler Bing : Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor. Rachel Green : This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this? Chandler Bing : Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program of denial and, and wetting the bed. Rachel Green : Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July. Chandler Bing : Becasue it reminded you of the way our forefathers used to bitch at each other?", "summary": "Leonard and Sandra are going through a divorce and are discussing their shared assets, including a boat. Chandler joins them and they start talking about their parents' divorce. Rachel reveals that she is in the middle of her own parents' divorce and is struggling to cope with the situation. The conversation shifts to the Fourth of July and the country's founding fathers."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just... Chandler Bing : I, I know. Monica Geller : Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun. Sandra Green : Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem. Monica Geller : Ok will do. So glad you came. Sandra Green : I think I saw Rachel out in the hall. Monica Geller : Ok, let me go check. Your mom want's to say goodbye. Rachel Green : Oh ok. Sandra Green : Happy birthday sweetie. Rachel Green : Ok.", "summary": "The group reminisces about a yearly tradition of watching fireworks on Rachel's father's boat with her mother hating it due to ocean air making her hair big and siblings throwing up, while father gets upset without help. When fireworks start, everyone shuts up and gets cold under one blanket."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, you drive safe. Sandra Green : Ross, what're you doing. Ross Geller : I'm getting ready for the water skiing. How are you doing? Chandler Bing : Well, uh, Dr. Greene, where are you going? Leonard Green : To get my coat. Guys : No no no. Leonard Green : Alright, alright, I can get my own coat. Chandler Bing : Sorry, we're on a major flan high. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe. Leonard Green : I have to be heading to my chateau, thank you.", "summary": "Ross prepares for water skiing while Sandra arrives and greets Ross. Chandler and Dr. Greene arrive separately, causing confusion. Phoebe tries to remove Leonard from the area, offering him a creme d'menthe instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. Well, ok, you take care. Sandra Green : Oh, you kids Well, this is the best party I've been to in years. Monica Geller : Thank you. Monica Geller : Ok everybody, it's time for flan. Chandler Bing : Yup, get ready for the gelatenous fun. Joey Tribbiani : Kinda looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection. Monica Geller : Ok, that's enough. Phoebe Buffay : Ok Rachel, make a special flan wish. Rachel Green : Ok, I've got one. Wow, those things almost never come true.", "summary": "Mrs. Greene attends a party hosted by Monica and Chandler, where Joey thanks her and Sandra compliments the gathering. Phoebe and Rachel engage in a fun activity involving flan, with Monica interrupting their conversation to announce it's time for dessert. Joey makes an unflattering comment about the flan, while Chandler jokes about gelatinous fun."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one bananna nut muffin left. Monica Geller : Oh, I ordered mine first. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster... Monica Geller : Give it to me. Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : Give it to me. Chandler Bing : Ok, you can have it. Monica Geller : There you go, enjoy your coffee. Chandler Bing : That was there when I got here. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are fighting over a banana nut muffin. Monica wants it, but Chandler is faster and refuses to give it to her. Eventually, Chandler gives in and gives the muffin to Monica. Meanwhile, Phoebe arrives unexpectedly in New York."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow. Phoebe Buffay : Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy. Rachel Green : You went out with a guy in the Navy? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man? Phoebe Buffay : No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay. Rachel Green : So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time? Monica Geller : That'll teach you to lick my muffin. Ross Geller : Hiii. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, what happened?", "summary": "Rachel is surprised that Phoebe went out with a guy in the Navy, who she met at Washington Square Park. Phoebe explains that he's her \"submarining guy,\" and they have amazing three-day reunions every couple of years. However, this time he's coming for two whole weeks, which excites Rachel. Monica and Ross are confused by the situation, while Joey is more interested in learning about Phoebe's salt water taffy experiences."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox. #ALL# : Oh no. Ross Geller : Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it. Rachel Green : Well I've had it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I've had it. Monica Geller : Had it. Chandler Bing : Had it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. Oh look! Monica Geller : Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp. Richard Burke : Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nBen has chickenpox, and Ross tells Rachel, Joey, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe about it. They all reveal that they have had chickenpox before, except for Phoebe who has never had it. Meanwhile, Richard takes a shower and sings \"Leroy Brown\" by Jim Crochee."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Monica... Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town? Monica Geller : Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown. Richard Burke : What're you doing? Monica Geller : Just waiting for you sweetie. Richard Burke : Are you remaking the bed? Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine. Richard Burke : Then, you're redoing it because... Monica Geller : If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy. Richard Burke : You're pretty much running that risk either way. Monica Geller : Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.", "summary": "Baddest man in town question sparks a conversation between Richard and Monica. Monica answers baddest and sings a song about Leroy Brown. Richard asks what she's doing, and Monica apologizes for remaking the bed. She explains that the tag should be at the bottom right corner instead of the top left corner."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Oh, well that's not so crazy. Monica Geller : I'm just easing you in. Richard Burke : Oh, alright. Monica Geller : Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you. Richard Burke : Actually, if it's possible, I love you more. Monica Geller : Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point. Chandler Bing : Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor. Joey Tribbiani : But don't you need experience for a job like that? Chandler Bing : It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor. Scott Alexander : Hey Chandler, here's this morning's projections.", "summary": "Monica and Richard have a conversation about how to arrange flowers on a headboard in their bedroom, with Monica suggesting that they should be facing upwards towards the sun. The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Richard reveals that he loves Monica more than ever, and she is surprised and happy to hear this. Meanwhile, Chandler offers Joey a job as an entry-level processor at his company, despite Joey's lack of experience in the field. Finally, Scott provides Chandler with the morning's projections for his work."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor. Scott Alexander : No kidding. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call. Scott Alexander : Where do you work? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more. Chandler Bing : I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group. Scott Alexander : Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Ha-ha-ha... Joey Tribbiani : Ha-ha. Are all you processors dorks? Rachel Green : Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you. Monica Geller : You look fabulous honey, you really do.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Scott Alexander are talking to Chandler Bing about Joey being a processor. They discuss where Joey works and Chandler mentions an opening in Fleischman's group, warning them not to touch his sandwiches. Rachel Green enters and Monica Geller compliments her on her lipstick, with Monica adding that Rachel looks fabulous."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Are you sure, really. Rachel Green : You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights. Phoebe Buffay : I, I, I'm hideous. Monica Geller : It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt. Phoebe Buffay : Come in. Ryan : Hey baby, I'm back... Phoebe Buffay : Hey Ryan, what's up? Ryan : What's goin' on? Phoebe Buffay : Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox. Ryan : Chicken or small?", "summary": "Phoebe has a low self-esteem and thinks she's ugly after Rachel compliments her. Monica tries to reassure her but Phoebe is unconvinced. Ryan returns from being underwater and Phoebe is afraid to let him near her due to having the pox."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Chicken. Which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian. Ryan : Why aren't you at home in bed? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are. Ryan : I'm sorry, I never had 'em. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, ohh. Ryan : If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now. Ryan : Can I please see your face? Phoebe Buffay : Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox. Ryan : Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.", "summary": "Phoebe and Ryan discuss chicken pox, with Phoebe revealing she is a vegetarian despite previously having the illness. Ryan expresses his desire to go back in time and be infected with chicken pox again, specifically to be near Phoebe's face. Phoebe refuses to show her face, which is covered in pox, and Ryan expresses his willingness to see her despite her condition."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... Oh, I am scary. Ryan : Sorry, the lightning. Lightning was an unfortunate incidence. You look lovely, lovely. Phoebe Buffay : I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this. Ryan : Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey, how's the first day goin'? Joey Tribbiani : Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column. Chandler Bing : Well there you go. Joey Tribbiani : Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.", "summary": "Phoebe plans a romantic getaway for Ryan, but their location is affected by lightning; Ryan has been in a steel tube for eight months and is eager to reconnect with Phoebe; Joey and Chandler assist with data entry."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Jeannie, the head of east coast operations Jeannie? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh? Chandler Bing : Weird world. Your kids? Joey Tribbiani : I figure my character has kids. Chandler Bing : Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained. Joey Tribbiani : Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does. Chandler Bing : Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did. Chandler Bing : Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there. Ryan : You know what makes the itching even worse?", "summary": "Jeannie is the head of east coast operations, Joey's kids go to school with Chandler's invisible kids, Joey has two daughters named Ashley and Brittany, Joseph and his wife Karen are thinking of having a third kid, and Ryan has an itch that is made worse by something."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That you don't stop talking about it. Ryan : Fine. Phoebe Buffay : Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. Here we go, double sixes, here we go... Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice... Ryan : What're you doing? Are you scratching? Phoebe Buffay : No. This is what I do for luck, ok. Ryan : You're scratching. Give me the dice. Phoebe Buffay : No. Ryan : Give me the dice. Phoebe Buffay : No. Here. There. Ooh, double sixes. Ryan : We can't scratch. You know we can't, we'll scar.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a game of craps, with Phoebe Buffay and Ryan participating. Phoebe is scratching her head for luck, while Ryan tries to take the dice from her. They argue over who gets to roll the dice, with Phoebe insisting she needs to keep scratching to have good luck."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. Ryan : No. Phoebe Buffay : Give it. Ryan : No. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. Ryan : Oh God help me. Phoebe Buffay : Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder. Rachel Green : Oh, stop that, stop that right now. Ross Geller : You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man. Joey Tribbiani : You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to rub houses on her body. Ryan refuses. Phoebe tries to persuade him, but he insists no. Rachel interrupts and tells them to stop. Ross comments that he would not have expected such behavior from Phoebe, but Ryan is a military man. Joey suggests they all go on a boat trip with Karen, who will bring lunch."}
-{"dialogues": "Jeannie : Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, thanks, thanks. Bye bye Jeannie. Jeannie : Bye bye Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What a phony. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm sure you'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. Hey Mr. Douglas. Joey Tribbiani : Sir. Mr. Douglas : Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday? Chandler Bing : Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families. Mr. Douglas : I have a family, I'm gonna be here. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah Bing, what's that about?", "summary": "Jeannie and Joey are planning something, but Jeannie needs to get back home as her baby is feeling unwell. Chandler makes a joke about Joey teaching Jeannie a lesson by having her step off a dock into nothing. Mr. Douglas receives a memo from Chandler regarding the delay of receiving a systems report until next Friday, and Chandler's group wants to spend the holiday weekend with their families."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday. Mr. Douglas : Rough numbers? Joey Tribbiani : This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas. Mr. Douglas : Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday. Chandler Bing : Uh, if you say so sir. Joey Tribbiani : Joseph's good, isn't he? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm going to kill you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers. Chandler Bing : Why? Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.", "summary": "Chandler Bing wants to cut his team some slack for morale and provides rough numbers by Wednesday. Mr. Douglas asks for final numbers by Tuesday, and Chandler expresses frustration. Joey Tribbiani suggests Joseph is a mixer-upper and would call out any attempts at misconduct."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too? Monica Geller : This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands. Richard Burke : You're strict. Monica Geller : It's for their own good. Richard Burke : You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time. Monica Geller : Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular? Richard Burke : If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle. Monica Geller : Very good. Richard Burke : Thank you. Monica Geller : You know what. Tomorrow I'm gonna do your clocks.", "summary": "Monica tapes oven mitts to the hands of two \"scratchy\" twins as a gift, and Richard compliments her on her efficient folding technique. Monica enjoys being able to be neurotic around Richard and he appreciates her attention to detail in organizing his desk."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : You're gonna do what to my clocks. Monica Geller : I'm gonna set them to my time. Richard Burke : Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time. Monica Geller : No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why? Richard Burke : Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen. Monica Geller : No forget it, I'm not gonna tell you now. Richard Burke : No come on. Come on tell me. Monica Geller : No. See you don't understand. Richard Burke : Come on. Monica Geller : No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.", "summary": "Monica sets her clocks in her bedroom six minutes fast, refusing to tell Richard why."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : No that's not true. That is not true. Monica Geller : Oh yeah. Richard Burke : Yeah. Monica Geller : Alright, well tell me one of yours. Richard Burke : Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks. Monica Geller : What if they get mixed up? Richard Burke : Boy I would just uh, I would freak out. Monica Geller : You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing. Richard Burke : See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.", "summary": "Monica and Richard discuss their habits, with Monica revealing she keeps her sweat socks separate from her dress socks, while Richard is concerned about them getting mixed up. Monica teases him for being too normal, and they both worry about what others might think if they overheard their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why? Wh- wh- why is Mr. Douglas looking for me? Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project. Chandler Bing : Wha- wh- why, why, why does he suspect that? Joey Tribbiani : Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know. Chandler Bing : Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go. Joey Tribbiani : What're you talking about, everybody loves Joseph. Chandler Bing : I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department. Chandler Bing : Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife. Joey Tribbiani : Karen.", "summary": "Mr. Douglas suspects Chandler of dropping the ball on a project, and Chandler denies it. Joey explains that Mr. Douglas initially thought Joseph was responsible but realized it was actually Chandler. Chandler gets frustrated and decides to fire both Joseph and Joey, who objects and points out that Joseph is not in Chandler's department. In a bizarre twist, Chandler suggests sleeping with Joey's wife, Karen."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man. Chandler Bing : Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Chandler Bing : No freakshow, she's fictional. Joey Tribbiani : Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else. Chandler Bing : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. Phoebe Buffay : Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch. Rachel Green : No sorry hon, Monica's orders.", "summary": "Chandler Bing considers having an affair with a coworker's wife but ultimately decides to go through with it. He keeps her panties in his drawer as a trophy. Joey Tribbiani becomes uncomfortable with the situation and tries to distance himself from Chandler. Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Green join the conversation, with Phoebe asking to take the panties and Rachel revealing that Monica has forbidden her from giving them away."}
-{"dialogues": "Ryan : Well that wasn't easy. Ross Geller : Ok, dinner's on. Rachel Green : And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you. Ross Geller : Alright you kids, bye now. Phoebe Buffay : Bye. Ross Geller : Oh look, a low budget puppet show. Phoebe Buffay : It's such a shame you can't see which finger I'm holding up. Ryan : Wine? Phoebe Buffay : Please. Ryan : Oh, I spilled some.", "summary": "Ross prepares dinner while Rachel warms a peach cobbler in the oven. Phoebe and Ryan interact, with Phoebe holding up a finger and making a joke about it. Ross dismisses them and then spills wine."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I got it. Ryan : I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ryan : Sorry. You look beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : You know what, that's it, that's it. Richard Burke : Monica, wake up. Monica. Monica Geller : What's up? Richard Burke : I thought of a thing. Monica Geller : Yeah?", "summary": "Ryan compliments Phoebe on her appearance, but she quickly becomes uncomfortable and changes the subject. Richard wakes Monica up with an idea, but she seems uninterested."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed. Monica Geller : No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed. Richard Burke : Or so I would have you believe. Monica Geller : No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed. Richard Burke : Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet. Monica Geller : Alright, go on. Richard Burke : Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side. Monica Geller : Oh my God, you're a freak. Richard Burke : Yeah. How 'bout that. Rachel Green : So uh, Ryan, were you shipping off to?", "summary": "Richard has a specific side of the bed he must sleep on due to his upbringing in California. Monica and Richard argue over the sides of the bed. Rachel joins the conversation and asks Ryan about his shipping plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Ryan : I really can't say. Ross Geller : So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board? Ryan : I can't say. Rachel Green : Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys. Ryan : I'm sorry, but I can't say. Ross Geller : Wow, it, it's neat learning about submarines. Ryan : I better get out of here, I'm gonna miss my flight. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I'll walk you out. Ross Geller : Bye Ryan. Ryan : Pleasure.", "summary": "Ryan cannot reveal information about a submarine he is on, while Ross and Rachel express curiosity about the vessel. Ryan hastily excuses himself to catch his flight before Phoebe walks him out."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It was nice to meet you. Ryan : Take care. Rachel Green : So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things? Ross Geller : You like that do ya? Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Ross Geller : I'll make some calls. Rachel Green : Ok. Ryan : Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together? Phoebe Buffay : I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. Ryan : Taxi.", "summary": "Rachel and Ryan meet and exchange pleasantries. Rachel suggests getting Ryan a uniform, which Ross agrees to arrange. Phoebe comments on their unromantic activities during their two weeks together."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Bye you. Rachel Green : Oh I'm sorry, we're clo-... Hey sailor. Ross Geller : Is this what you had in mind? Rachel Green : I'll say. Ross Geller : I'm shipping out tomorrow. Rachel Green : Well then uh, we better make this night count. Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light. Ross Geller : Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. Rachel Green : Hey Joey, how'd the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was. #ALL# : Who?", "summary": "Ross is shipping out tomorrow, so Rachel wants to make the night count. Phoebe leaves, and Ross and Rachel end up in a passionate embrace. Joey returns from his audition and reveals that he met the director, who turned out to be a surprise celebrity."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right. I'll give you one hint. Warren Beatty. #ALL# : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy. Chandler Bing : 'Cause he was just so darn cute. Joey Tribbiani : No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses. Ross Geller : Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. Or you just do it. Joey Tribbiani : I did do it, I'm a professional. Monica Geller : Then what's the problem? Joey Tribbiani : See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother. Phoebe Buffay : Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing Ooh.", "summary": "Joey auditioned for a role where he had to kiss another actor as part of the audition process. Despite feeling uncomfortable, he went through with it. After the scene, the director, Warren Beatty, complimented Joey on his acting but criticized his kissing skills, labeling him as \"a good actor, bad kisser.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, what did your agent say? Joey Tribbiani : Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me. Monica Geller : What, forget it! Rachel Green : Yeah, right. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, I need your help here. Phoebe Buffay : All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again. Joey Tribbiani : You see this, this is a friend. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, let's go. Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend. Joey Tribbiani : Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem? Monica Geller : Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani auditions for a role in a TV show and fails, but his agent wants him to try again after seeing him kiss. Joey is worried he did something wrong during the audition and asks his friends for help, with mixed results."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that makes sense. Ross Geller : Over my dead body! Chandler Bing : And I'll be using his dead body as a shield. Ross Geller : Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you look so good! Rachel Green : I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous. Ross Geller : So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding. Rachel Green : Because I promised Mindy I would. Monica Geller : Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. Rachel Green : Look you guys, I have to go, I'm the Maid-of-Honor. And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue over Ross's ex-wife's wedding, while Chandler offers to use her dead body as a shield. Phoebe and Rachel compliment each other, but Rachel feels uncomfortable walking down the aisle after being sick. Monica reminds Rachel of a promise she made to someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh-oh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action? Chandler Bing : I may have. Monica Geller : Woo-hoo, stuud! Ross Geller : What's she look like? Chandler Bing : Well, we haven't exactly met, we just stayed up all night talking on the internet. Monica Geller : Woo-hoo, geeek! Chandler Bing : I like this girl, okay, I seriously like this girl, you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy... Ross Geller : Get out! Rachel Green : Nooo! Monica Geller : Please!", "summary": "Ross may have had some internet-facilitated tryst."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did. Rachel Green : Wow! What's that like? Chandler Bing : It's like this, me, no jokes. Phoebe Buffay : All right, stop it, you're freaking me out. Richard Burke : Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later. #ALL# : Bye, Richard. Monica Geller : Bye sweetie, I love you. Richard Burke : I love you, too. Phoebe Buffay : I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy, I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? What wedding?", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Rachel Green have a conversation about Chandler being called out for being insincere. Phoebe Buffay interrupts and makes a comment, which Richard Burke joins in on before leaving. Monica Geller expresses her love for Richard, and Phoebe fantasizes about her future wedding with her boyfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Come on, like you never talk that. Monica Geller : Nooo! Never! I mean, we're living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?' Rachel Green : Afraid to ask him? Monica Geller : Could not be more terrified. Chandler Bing : Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum. Monica Geller : Where's Benny? There he is! Where's Benny, there he is. Richard Burke : Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out. Monica Geller : Hey, you know I got a question for ya. Just a little thing, no pressure. Richard Burke : Okay. Monica Geller : Did you ever, uh, like, think about the future?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are living in the moment and not worrying about the future. Chandler suggests giving Rachel another chance to dress up as Princess Bubble Yum. Richard says that babies learn to talk so they can tell grown-ups to cut it out. Monica asks Richard if he ever thought about the future, and he agrees to answer her question."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Sure I do. Monica Geller : Yeah, am I in it? Richard Burke : Honey, you are in it. Monica Geller : Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky. Richard Burke : Oh, yeah! Monica Geller : Keep talkin'. Richard Burke : Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast. Monica Geller : Okay, so, uh, we're in France, we're making the toast. Do you see a little bassinet in the corner? Richard Burke : Like a hound? Monica Geller : Not a basset, a bassinet.", "summary": "Monica and Richard discuss moving to France and starting a family."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : You really need the bassinet? Monica Geller : Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. Do you, uh, do you , do you not see kids in our future. Richard Burke : Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start. Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Richard Burke : Look I want you, now. Monica Geller : That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone. Chandler Bing : Joey, no means no! Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry we, we don't have your sheep.", "summary": "Monica and Richard discuss having kids in the future, with Richard expressing concern about being 70 when their children go off to college. Monica brushes off the topic and Joey tries to persuade Chandler for a kiss."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Aww, Rach, I think you look cute And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon . Ross Geller : Get away from me I said no! Monica Geller : Richard buzzed. He's waiting downstairs. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him #ALL# : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Bye, good luck. Phoebe Buffay : So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that . Chandler Bing : Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words. Phoebe Buffay : What does she mean by HH? Chandler Bing : It means we're holding hands.", "summary": "Joey flirts with Rachel, Ross rejects Joey's advances, Monica gets a call from Richard, and Phoebe asks Chandler about his online date."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Are you the cutest? Chandler Bing : I'm afraid I might just be. Phoebe Buffay : You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy. Chandler Bing : Okay, it's not a guy, all right, I know her. Phoebe Buffay : It could be like a big giant guy. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I got this close to him and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men. Chandler Bing : How do you not fall down more? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, ask her 'What is her current method of birth control?'", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey are curious about Chandler's girlfriend and wonder if she is a woman. Chandler reveals that he knows his girlfriend and they begin to make jokes about her age and possible physical appearance."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right. \"My husband is sleeping with his secretary.\" She's married! Phoebe Buffay : Well at least we know she's a woman. Chandler Bing : I can't believe she's married. Joey Tribbiani : Aw, man I'm sorry . This must be very tough for ya, huh . Monica Geller : So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them. Richard Burke : Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars. See, we're having fun. Monica Geller : Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about. Richard Burke : Neither am I. Ross Geller : Hey, there. Rachel Green : Hi.", "summary": "Wife discovers husband sleeping with his secretary; group discusses and offers support."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Are you all right? Rachel Green : Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time. Ross Geller : Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride. Rachel Green : God I know, you're right. Wedding Planner : All rightie, everybody look at me. Good. All right, its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines, thank you. Rachel Green : Okay, I'll see you after the thing. Ross Geller : Okay, good luck Rachel Green : Thank you, Okay, Okay. Rachel Green : Why the hell didn't you tell me! Ross Geller : I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'", "summary": "Rachel sees the window she crawled out of at her wedding and has a crisis, worrying about being judged by guests. Ross tries to reassure her, but she becomes upset again when he reveals he didn't tell her about it earlier."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes. Ross Geller : Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you. Mr. Wineburg : Rachel! Rachel Green : Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg. Mr. Wineburg : It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much. Mrs. Wineburg : You told me you didn't see anything. Mr. Wineburg : I tell ya a lot things! Mrs. Wineburg : Well it's wonderful to have you up and about, again, dear. Mr. Wineburg : Stay well.", "summary": "Rachel humiliates herself in front of the school with an embarrassing performance of \"The Copa Cabana\" in 8th grade. Ross tries to downplay it, but Rachel is still self-conscious about the incident. Mr. and Mrs. Wineburg unexpectedly show up at Central Perk, catching everyone by surprise."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today. Mindy Hunter : Rach! Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Mindy Hunter : Oh my God, I'm married! Rachel Green : I know. Mindy Hunter : I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber. Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'm so proud of you, Min. Barry Farber : Min. Oh Rach, you're still here, at our wedding, they were packing up the chopped liver about now. Rachel Green : Yeah, I love that story. Um, I got a question for you guys. Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about? Mindy Hunter : Well uh, after you ran out on your wedding, Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane.", "summary": "Rachel Green runs out on her wedding, and afterwards, people keep saying it's good to see her up and about, implying she might be mentally unstable."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Insane! Mindy Hunter : ...from the syphilis. Rachel Green : What?! Barry Farber : Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on. Joey Tribbiani : Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. She wants to know what's wrong? Chandler Bing : What's wrong? What's wrong? You're married that's what's wrong. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my. Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : She wants to meet you in person.", "summary": "Rachel and Mindy discuss syphilis, while Barry joins in with a comment about their relationship. Joey invites Angela out for the night, but she doesn't answer. Phoebe notices that Chandler's wife isn't answering his messages, and Chandler reveals that he is married."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband. Phoebe Buffay : What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip. Chandler Bing : Okay, I'll do it! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. Monica Geller : Okay, one more, please. Come on, I'm gonna get it in this time, I will. Richard Burke : Okay, last chance. Again, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I... I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do. Best Man : Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel... #ALL# : What?! Best Man : What, you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...", "summary": "Chandler wants to meet Phoebe in person, but she's married. Phoebe encourages him to take a chance and meet her anyway, despite her husband. Monica joins in, also wanting to meet Phoebe. Meanwhile, Richard apologizes for not being able to attend the wedding. Finally, the Best Man gives a toast at the wedding, recalling Barry's first date with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What. Best Man : No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! Ross Geller : Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that... Rachel Green : Why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding? Ross Geller : Most of you don't know me, I'm Rachel's boyfriend. Rachel Green : Oh dear God. Ross Geller : Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me Cheers. Rachel Green : She you in the parking lot. Ross Geller : No, Rach! Barry Farber : And once again she is out of here. Okay who had 9:45? Um?", "summary": "Rachel Green returns to the bar where her ex-fiance, Barry, is having a bachelor party. Her current boyfriend, Ross Geller, joins the conversation and defends Rachel's courage in coming back. Ross also clarifies that Rachel did not leave Barry due to syphilis, but rather because she did not love him. The group discusses the reasons why Rachel left and how it ultimately worked out well for Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings . See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well , I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except.... \"Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers , feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would...\" Ross Geller : Marenge, Rachel Green : \"...marenge, thank you honey, and do the cha-cha. And while she like to be a star, Tony always tended bar. At the, wait, wait, everybody..\" Ross Geller : Everybody! Rachel Green : At the Copa, Copa Cabana The hottest spot north of Havana. At the Copa, Coo-pa Ca-ban-a, music and fashion were always the passion, at the Copa.... Richard Burke : Okay, I'll do it. Monica Geller : You'll do what? Richard Burke : If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Richard Burke : If I have to I'll, I'll do all again , I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team.", "summary": "Rachel wants to make it through one of Ross's weddings with dignity, but ends up getting drunk and singing a song about Lola at the Copa Cabana. Richard offers to do anything to be with Monica, including taking on parental duties."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Really? Richard Burke : Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will. Monica Geller : You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.' Richard Burke : But you're not. Monica Geller : Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one. Richard Burke : God. I love you. Monica Geller : I know you do. Me too. So what now? Richard Burke : I guess we just keep dancing. Chandler Bing : Where is she, Where is she? Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she? Rachel Green : Chandler, relax, Chandler, she'll be here.", "summary": "Monica and Richard are considering having a baby, but they have different feelings about it. Monica wants to have a baby with someone who really wants to have one, while Richard is willing to do it again if he has to. They argue and eventually decide to keep dancing. Meanwhile, Chandler is looking for Monica and Rachel tries to calm him down."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ooh, oh, oh, that's her. Ross Geller : Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to... Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Janice Litman Goralnik : OH.....MY.....GAWD!! #ALL# : OH.....MY.....GOD!! Ross Geller : All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes . Joey Tribbiani : Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl. Joey Tribbiani : I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me. #ALL# : Did not, she did not wink at you....", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss life and Janice enters. Phoebe tries to get Chandler to stop staring at the door, but he becomes distracted by Janice's arrival. Ross feels guilty about something and Joey tries to comfort him. Joey also talks about an audition he didn't get and Rachel receives a compliment from him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Huh. Ross Geller : I have to say Tupolo Honey by Van Morrison. Rachel Green : Nooo Way! The most romantic song ever is The Way We Were. Phoebe Buffay : See, I-I think that one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's The Boss. Rachel Green : What song was that, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Hold me close, young Tony Dan-za. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Monica! Ross Geller : Hey Mon! Rachel Green : Hey Mon! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, has she slept at all?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss a romantic song, while Rachel and Phoebe argue over their favorite. Meanwhile, Monica enters the conversation and Phoebe questions her sleep schedule."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Nope. Rachel Green : No, it's been three nights in a row. Ross Geller : Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call. Chandler Bing : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Morning, hey, you made pancakes? Chandler Bing : Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that. Janice Litman Goralnik : Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. Good morning Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Good morning. Chandler Bing : Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.", "summary": "Rachel finds evidence of Richard's cigar butts on the terrace, leading Ross to believe she is still upset. Phoebe hears a strange noise at 2am and assumes it's an animal making the call. Chandler makes pancakes for breakfast, which Joey appreciates. Janice offers Monica and Rachel syrup to lift their mood. Chandler suggests Joey stay home from work and spend the day with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer. Chandler Bing : I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up. Janice Litman Goralnik : I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss. Chandler Bing : Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay. Joey Tribbiani : Kiss her! Kiss her! Janice Litman Goralnik : I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey. Joey Tribbiani : B-bye Janice. So when ya' dumpin' her. Chandler Bing : Nope, not this time. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, quite yankin' me. Chandler Bing : I'm not yanking you.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Janice is getting divorced and Chandler doesn't want to kiss her because he's a \"grown up.\" Joey tries to convince Chandler to kiss her, but Chandler refuses."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : This is Janice. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know. She makes me happy. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking. Chandler Bing : I'm not breaking up with her! Monica Geller : God, look what I found in the drain. Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : It's some of Richard's hair! What do I do with this? Ross Geller : Getting it away from me would be job one. Monica Geller : It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal.", "summary": "Chandler refuses to break up with Janice despite Joey's efforts to convince him. Monica finds some of Richard's hair in the drain and Rachel is disgusted. Phoebe compares the tangled strands to a tiny person drowning in cereal."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : God, what is wrong with me. Ross Geller : You need to get some sleep. Monica Geller : I need to get some Richard. Rachel Green : Monica, you broke up with him for a reason. Monica Geller : I know, I know. I'm just so tired of-of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called! Phoebe Buffay : Maybe, because you told him not to. Monica Geller : What are you the memory woman? Joey Tribbiani : Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything. Rachel Green : Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute. Joey Tribbiani : Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?", "summary": "Monica is struggling with missing her ex-boyfriend Richard and wonders why he hasn't called her. Phoebe suggests that maybe she told him not to call. Chandler and Janice are not breaking up, despite Joey's concerns. Rachel thinks they make a cute couple."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do? Joey Tribbiani : There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross? Ross Geller : Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right? Rachel Green : Honey, I was wondering.... Ross Geller : Hmm? Rachel Green : Do you still have that, um, Navy uniform? Ross Geller : Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place. Rachel Green : Hmm. Ross Geller : I think I have an old band uniform from high school.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey discuss their friend's girlfriend, Janice, and how they are not pleased with her. They come up with a plan to be adult about it and accept her, but Ross suggests using an old uniform from high school instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You remember not having sex in high school, right? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well honey, what about you? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I mean do you have any fun, you know, fantasy type things? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Come on you gotta have one! Ross Geller : Nope. Rachel Green : Ross, you know what... Ross Geller : What?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel reminisce about their high school days without sex, then Rachel asks if Ross has any \"fantasy type things\" and he replies that he doesn't."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : ...if you tell me, I might do it. Ross Geller : Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia. Rachel Green : Oooh! Ross Geller : Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, oh, Princess Leia and the gold bikini, every guy our age loved that. Rachel Green : Really! Phoebe Buffay : Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know. Rachel Green : Did you ever do the-the Leia thing?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Return of the Jedi and Princess Leia's iconic gold bikini scene. Phoebe joins in and reveals that she too found the moment when Leia stopped being a princess and became a woman to be significant. Ross asks Rachel if she's ever done the Leia thing, implying that he wants her to dress up as Princess Leia for sexual purposes."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, um-mm. Oh! Rachel Green : Really! That-that great huh? Phoebe Buffay : No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi you guys! Ross Geller : Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter. Rachel Green : Mon. Hi! Monica Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Why aren't you at work? Monica Geller : Oh, they-they sent me home.", "summary": "Ross finds Rachel standing outside a Chinese restaurant, staring at a parking meter. Rachel explains that she was sent home from work by her employer. Phoebe enters the conversation, revealing that she has a new pager and is having trouble getting it to vibrate. The scene ends with Monica entering and greeting the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Why? Monica Geller : Because I don't work at the Szechwan Dragon. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : You really, really need to get some sleep, honey. Monica Geller : I know I do. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Guess what? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : They published my paper.", "summary": "Ross's paper was published."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, really, let me see, let me see. Phoebe Buffay : Rach, look! Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. There he is. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Wheel! Chandler Bing : Of! Joey Tribbiani : Fortune! This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore!! Chandler Bing : You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say? Joey Tribbiani : I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to? Chandler Bing : No, Janice. Joey Tribbiani : Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are discussing something when they spot Ross walking by. Chandler enters and makes a joke about Joey's intelligence. Chandler offers tickets to a Rangers game and Joey excitedly agrees to go with him. Joey feels bad for Ross, who is always left out of their group activities."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You know, I may be way out on a limb here, but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice? Joey Tribbiani : No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. . Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair ? Chandler Bing : Ooh, that girl that I hate, eww, drives me crazy, eww, eww, oh! Joey Tribbiani : Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know. Chandler Bing : Well, there you go. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! Don't worry, those are the right letters. Joey Tribbiani : Look, what do you want me to say? Chandler Bing : I want you to say that you like her! Joey Tribbiani : I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey discuss their feelings towards Janice, with Chandler expressing his newfound love for her and Joey revealing that he finds her annoying but cannot deny the chemical attraction he feels towards her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Thanks for trying. Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, then-then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? Ross Geller : How could you have told her? Rachel Green : Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal. Ross Geller : Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal. Rachel Green : Okay, who are you talking to when you do that? Ross Geller : Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us. Rachel Green : Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff. Ross Geller : That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'. Rachel Green : Were both of those Joey?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a misunderstanding about a personal secret shared between Ross and Rachel. Chandler corrects Rachel's mistake about Count Rushmore, and Joey wonders who painted the faces on the mountain. Ross reveals that he and Rachel share personal secrets, leading to confusion and awkwardness."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her. Rachel Green : Not even with your best friend. Ross Geller : Noo! Rachel Green : That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are. Ross Geller : Hmph. So what you, you tell each other everything? Rachel Green : Pretty much. Ross Geller : Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times? Rachel Green : Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol. Ross Geller : I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think. Phoebe Buffay : Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their personal relationships, specifically how they share intimate details with each other despite being best friends. Phoebe joins in and suggests relaxation techniques to help manage stress related to their conversations."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Richard's living room, drinking wine. Phoebe Buffay : All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out! Monica Geller : I'm sorry, but that's my happy place. Phoebe Buffay : Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything. Monica Geller : All right, I'll try not to. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, all right, so, your in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky.... Monica Geller : Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake? Phoebe Buffay : All right, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees.... Monica Geller : I'll bet he's totally over me, I'll bet he's fine. Phoebe Buffay : All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook....", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe have a conversation in Richard's living room while drinking wine. Monica brings up breaking up with her boyfriend and wonders if it was a mistake. Phoebe tells her not to worry about it and suggests she enter a happy place to distract herself. They both imagine themselves in different happy places, with Monica picturing a meadow and Phoebe imagining a peaceful forest with waterfalls and babbling brooks."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee. Janice Litman Goralnik : So, I hear, you hate me! Joey Tribbiani : I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that. Janice Litman Goralnik : A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me. Joey Tribbiani : And you got a 'hate' from that?! Your taking a big leap there... Janice Litman Goralnik : All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, We've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea you and me spending some quality time together. Joey Tribbiani : But what does that gonna do... Janice Litman Goralnik : For Chandler! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I'm in. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Janice spend a day together in an attempt to improve their relationship after Janice overhears a conversation where Joey makes a comment about wanting to harm her. Despite initial reservations, they have fun together and come up with the name \"Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Does it have to be a whole day? Janice Litman Goralnik : Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room. Monica Geller : So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, do you want us to take you home? Monica Geller : Uh, huh. Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. Ross Geller : Women tell each other everything. Did you know that? Chandler Bing : Umm, yeah. Ross Geller : No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth.... Chandler Bing : Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?", "summary": "Monica orders videos about the Civil War for Richard, but they end up at the post office. Phoebe offers to take Monica home, but she insists on going to a galaxy far, far away instead. Ross reveals that women tell each other everything, including personal details and sexual preferences. Chandler is shocked and confused by this revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna? Chandler Bing : We're not gonna talk about girth are we? Ross Geller : Nooo! Chandler Bing : Yeah, okay. Ross Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Yeah! All right! You go first. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, I'll go first. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing.... Chandler Bing : Princess Leia in the gold bikini.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss sharing fantasies, with Ross describing a Star Wars-related scenario involving Princess Leia in a gold bikini."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes! Chandler Bing : I know! Ross Geller : Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Okay, you-you go. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman. Ross Geller : Hmph. Chandler Bing : And, ah, you know, your fooling around with her. And you get all these like, mental images in your brain, you know, like Elle MacPherson, or that girl at the Xerox place.... Ross Geller : With the belly-button ring? Oh, muhawa! Chandler Bing : I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know.... You don't know!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss sexual thoughts and images that come to mind while in bed with a woman, including celebrity figures such as Elle MacPherson. They then briefly mention Ross's mother and her unexpected appearance in his sexual fantasies."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you? Chandler Bing : You said... Ross Geller : I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there! . Janice Litman Goralnik : We're baack! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : What are you guys doing together? Janice Litman Goralnik : Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! Chandler Bing : Really. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy. Janice Litman Goralnik : I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler.", "summary": "The gang is discussing Joey and Janice's day of fun together, which includes going to a Mets game and getting Chinese food. Ross becomes jealous and tells Joey he has competition, leading to a confrontation between the two friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You still can't stand her can you? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did. Chandler Bing : Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot. Joey Tribbiani : But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium. Chandler Bing : Well, I guess that's something. Joey Tribbiani : No man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross. Chandler Bing : Oh God! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey spend the day together despite their differences with a woman they both know. They have a rocky start but eventually come to accept each other's company. However, their peace is short-lived as they run into Ross at the coffee shop, causing Chandler to panic."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex. Monica Geller : Hi, Dad, what are you doing here? Jack Geller : Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. Since when did you start smoking cigars? Monica Geller : I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad? Jack Geller : Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Monica Geller : What makes you think that I might not be okay? Jack Geller : I saw Richard. Monica Geller : Oh. Jack Geller : So, how are you doing?", "summary": "Monica's father, Jack, visits her apartment while she is having sex with Chandler. Monica becomes embarrassed and tries to cover up the situation, leading to a conversation about Richard, an ex-boyfriend who has been causing problems in her life."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing? Jack Geller : You don't wanna know. Monica Geller : No, I really, really do. Jack Geller : Well, he's doing terrible! Monica Geller : Really! Jack Geller : Worse than when he broke up with Barbara. Monica Geller : You're not just saying that are you? Jack Geller : No, the man is a mess. Monica Geller : Was he crying? Jack Geller : No.", "summary": "Monica is tired but claims to be fine. Jack reveals that Richard is struggling since his breakup with Barbara, worse than when they broke up. Despite Monica's curiosity, Jack insists that Richard is a mess."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, do you think he was waiting 'til after you left, so he could cry? Jack Geller : Maybe. Monica Geller : I think so. Jack Geller : Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, Rachel Green : Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What? Ross Geller : No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's Judy Geller : Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here. Ross Geller : I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. Joey Tribbiani : All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. Chandler Bing : Taste it.", "summary": "Ross hates Chandler for ruining his life, Monica thinks Jack was crying after she left, and Rachel is a prisoner of Jabba's."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yep, it's fat. I drank fat! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, mister tux! Ross Geller : Why aren't you guys dressed? Joey Tribbiani : We have a half hour. Ross Geller : No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight. Joey Tribbiani : Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed. Ross Geller : Well, you know, I'd feel a whole lot better if you got dressed now. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler drink alcohol, while Ross tries to get them to hurry up and get dressed for an event at 8 PM."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy. Ross Geller : Really. Rachel Green : Ooooh! Wow!! Oh, hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : How come you didn't come over earlier? Ross Geller : 'Cause, I'm a stupid, stupid man. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Ross, want some cider? Ross Geller : No. So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done. Rachel Green : Yeah, I just have to get dressed. Ross Geller : Yay! And that takes what? Just six or seven minutes.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel see each other at a party and flirt, while Joey offers Ross cider but he declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing. Joey Tribbiani : Glass of fat? Joey Tribbiani : What's a matter Ross? What you're nervous about your speech? Ross Geller : No! Do you wanna hear it? Joey Tribbiani : Am I in it? Ross Geller : Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Ross Geller : Wow, hello! You look great!", "summary": "Ross plans to sing a song about Joey at a museum fundraiser, but is nervous about giving the speech. Joey suggests he bring a \"glass of fat\" as a prop, while Rachel and Phoebe exchange pleasantries."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! I know, though. Ross Geller : You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, well, you're my lucky penny. Chandler Bing : All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. Get up. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : You're in my seat. Joey Tribbiani : How is this your seat? Chandler Bing : 'Cause I was sitting there. Joey Tribbiani : But then you left. Chandler Bing : Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group takes a quiz that reveals they prioritize their careers over their romantic relationships. Chandler claims Joey's seat, but then leaves and returns, leading to confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What's the big deal, sit somewhere else. Chandler Bing : The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat. Joey Tribbiani : Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there . Soo... Ross Geller : You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So.. Chandler Bing : All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. GET UP!! Monica Geller : Hi. #ALL# : Hey. Monica Geller : Ooh, Phoebe, you look great! Phoebe Buffay : All right all ready. Monica Geller : Ooh, are you gonna do magic?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey argue over a seat; Ross intervenes and mentions a \"big vain\" in his head that could pop; Chandler quickly gets up; Monica greets Phoebe and asks if she will do magic."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's, that's funny. Change! Monica Geller : Hang on a second I just got in. Ross Geller : Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late. Phoebe Buffay : We could not, would not want to wait. Ross Geller : Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts. Monica Geller : Has somebody been drinking my fat? Rachel Green : You guys, does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, you might be the first one. Monica Geller : Rach, did you check the machine? Rachel Green : Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are trying to arrive on time for a dinner reservation, but Phoebe and Rachel are not helping by arguing over clothes and making excuses."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called Get Up. Joey Tribbiani : All right! You can have the chair. Chandler Bing : Really! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my, would you look at that! Phoebe Buffay : \"Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?\" Is that too spooky? Ross Geller : \"Hi Rach, are you there? It's me, pick up. Rachel. Rach!\" Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Nevermind. Richard Burke : \"Monica, it's Richard. Call me.\" Monica Geller : Is-is-is that message old or new? Old or new?! Old or new?!", "summary": "Chandler writes a song called \"Get Up\" and Joey offers him the chair. Phoebe finds it spooky when she hears a message from someone who is already there when Chandler is playing it. Ross tries to call Rachel but keeps accidentally calling her by his own name. Monica is confused about an old or new message from Richard."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's old, it's definitely old. Didn't you hear the, the double beep? Monica Geller : What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back? Chandler Bing : Honey, you did call him back. 'Cause, it's, it's really old. Ross Geller : Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did? Monica Geller : Huh? Ross Geller : I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. There we go, there we go. Chandler Bing : You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Phoebe Buffay : Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys! Chandler Bing : Sorry Phoebe. Joey Tribbiani : I'm so sorry.", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss an old message on a tape they found from when they were dating. They agree not to speak again unless it's something important, but Ross brings up his past break-up with Carol and how he quickly got dressed. Chandler joins in and tries to make light of the situation by joking about not touching Phoebe, who enters and scolds them for being rotten boys. Joey apologizes for their behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What am I gonna do? Ross Geller : No, no, don't, don't, rub it! Don't! What gets out hummus?! What gets out hummus?! Phoebe Buffay : Monica, Monica, you know what gets out hummus. Monica Geller : If it is a new message, what is he calling to say? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that. Chandler Bing : Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy. Monica Geller : So, should I call him back? The Guys : Noo! NO! Chandler Bing : All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. I'm soooo, comfortable. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe is concerned about what to do and Ross tells her not to rub anything. Monica thinks the caller may have a new message, while Chandler suggests that the caller might be calling about Phoebe's obsession with hummus. The group debates whether or not to call him back, and Joey becomes too comfortable in his seat."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right! Ross Geller : Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay. Chandler Bing : All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! Rachel Green : Is this a little too... Pheebs, what happened? Phoebe Buffay : Hummus. I got the hummus. Rachel Green : Ooooh! Honey, well we'll find you something. Do you wanna wear my black jacket? Phoebe Buffay : That won't go with this dress though. Rachel Green : No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on. Ross Geller : No, no, no, no, no, no, not out of that, not out of clothes. Rachel Green : Monica, can Phoebe borrow your green dress?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler have 19 minutes to switch places while Joey changes. Chandler goes first but when he returns, Joey has taken his place in the chair. Meanwhile, Rachel tries to help Phoebe change by offering her clothes, but Phoebe declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I called him. #ALL# : Nooo. Monica Geller : Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message. It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy? Phoebe Buffay : Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in such a breezy place. Monica Geller : Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, how are you gonna do that? Monica Geller : I know the code to his answering machine. Ross Geller : Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing. Richard Burke : \"Hi, this is Richard. Please, leave a message at the tone.\" Machine : \"You have two new messages.\"", "summary": "Monica called Joey and left a message on his machine, trying to sound breezy but worrying about whether it came across that way. Phoebe and Ross disagreed over how to handle the situation, while Richard provided some comedic relief with his robotic answering machine greeting."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Wow, what a cool job. 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.' Monica Geller : \"Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy.\" Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy. Woman's Voice : Hola, it's me, yesterday was really fun. Call me about this weekend, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Now she sounded breezy. Monica Geller : He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, you don't know that. Monica Geller : Well, who's voice was that? Chandler Bing : Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's. Monica Geller : Michelle! Of course, it was Michelle! Did it sound like Michelle?", "summary": "Monica receives a message from Joey, who is seeing someone. Joey and Monica have a conversation about it, with Monica expressing her shock and disbelief. A woman's voice messages Joey, and he responds that she sounded breezy. Later, Monica reveals that the voice on the message was actually Joey's daughter Michelle."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab. Monica Geller : It was Michelle. It was definitely Michelle. Rachel Green : Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?! Ross Geller : You don't, you don't know what your wearing? Rachel Green : Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night. Ross Geller : Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you. Chandler Bing : All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, \"Get out of my chair, dillhole!\" Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are preparing for a big night out, but Ross can't find Rachel's dress. Monica tries on the dress, but it doesn't fit her, so Rachel tries it on instead. Chandler teases Joey about being dressed inappropriately, while Ross struggles to find the right dress for Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : The cushions are the essence of the chair! Joey Tribbiani : That's right! I'm taking the essence. Chandler Bing : Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room. Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty. Rachel Green : Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep. Ross Geller : Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep. Rachel Green : Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Rach, good, listen isn't this perfect for me! Rachel Green : Oh, it's perfect! But not for tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey argue over a chair cushion, while Ross mistakes Rachel's Halloween costume for a real object, and Phoebe tries to take advantage of the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Not for tonight. Not for tonight! Wh-what, what, what, are you doing? Rachel Green : No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you. Chandler Bing : We used them as pillows when we went camping. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : The sheep. Ross Geller : Hey, what you do on your own time... Joey Tribbiani : Where's my underwear?! Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, come on, what. You took his underwear? Chandler Bing : He took my essence! Ross Geller : Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about something, Chandler reveals they used sheep as pillows during a camping trip, Ross expresses confusion, Joey searches for his missing underwear, and Chandler claims someone took his essence."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now. Ross Geller : Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight? Joey Tribbiani : It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues. Chandler Bing : Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you. Chandler Bing : What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, opposite, is opposite! Chandler Bing : He's got nothing! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm ready. Chandler Bing : Oh, aaaah!", "summary": "Joey wears no underwear to a formal event, leading to chaos and hilarity with Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.' Chandler Bing : What are you supporting? Phoebe Buffay : Duh!! Christmas! Ross Geller : Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!! Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should I wear? The black or the purple? Ross Geller : Just, just, just pick one! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys? Rachel Green : Yeahh, but, but those really go better with pants. Maybe I should wear pants? Ross Geller : Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay. Rachel Green : But I...", "summary": "Rachel struggles to choose Christmas gifts for her friends while Phoebe tries to help by offering political views on ribbons and shoes. Ross joins in with his own opinions, and the group ultimately decides on gifts for each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go. Rachel Green : All right. Ross Geller : Thank you! Monica Geller : Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to. Ross Geller : It was, it was her voice. Chandler Bing : Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place. Michelle Burke : Hola! Hello. Hello? Monica Geller : Okay. That was her right? Phoebe Buffay : Definitely. Monica Geller : See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying to leave a store, but Monica needs to make a call. Chandler thinks she's gone crazy, while Phoebe recognizes the voice on the other end of the call."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yay! Phoebe Buffay : I'll get it, okay. Hi, Monica and Rachel's. Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that. Monica Geller : Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that.... Chandler Bing : You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about? Monica Geller : Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back. Ross Geller : No, no, no, no. Tick, tick, tick, tick. Monica Geller : Okay, fine. Chandler Bing : They got a phone in there, right? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we're on it. We're on it. Ross Geller : Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are talking about Michelle, who they miss. Monica accidentally dials Michelle's number and leaves a message. Chandler asks why Donald Duck always wears a towel around his waist when getting out of the shower. Ross is worried about the dress code for an event."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm not gonna gooo. Ross Geller : You're not going to go. Rachel Green : No, I think I'm gonna catch up on my correspondence. Ross Geller : How, how, um how can you not be going? Rachel Green : I'm not gonna gooo, so I think that will accomplish the not going. Ross Geller : Um, you know, just out of curiosity... Rachel Green : Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood. Ross Geller : Right. Right, okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled. Rachel Green : It's fine. Ross Geller : No, but, your-your mad.", "summary": "Rachel refuses to go to a museum benefit with Ross, leading to an argument about why she doesn't want to go."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm not mad. Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : I'm just not going. Ross Geller : Your not going. Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : Okay. You know that I-I have to go. Rachel Green : Um, hum. Ross Geller : Right. So is it gonna be like 'I'm abandoning you while your upset.' Rachel Green : No. Ross Geller : No, because your not upset.", "summary": "Rachel is not going to a event with Ross, and he tries to convince her otherwise. They have a conversation about it, during which Ross says he has to go and Rachel agrees to accompany him. However, Rachel quickly changes her mind and tells Ross she's not going."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : About the yelling. Rachel Green : Right, and the humiliating. Ross Geller : Oh, well of course, the humiliating. So, so wee, we're okay. Rachel Green : Um, hum. Ross Geller : We're good. Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : Okay. Honey? Rachel Green : Yes, Ross. Ross Geller : I love you.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about their past arguments and humiliations, but eventually reconcile and express their love for each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Get away from that! No! She's just getting dressed. Chandler Bing : Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!! Joey Tribbiani : Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando... Chandler Bing : Oooo-ooh! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. Ross Geller : Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party! Chandler Bing : Jeez, what a baby. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Ross, way to ruin it. I was just going to get dressed.", "summary": "Phoebe is getting dressed and Chandler is aroused by the sight. Joey offers to wear all of Chandler's clothes, but Chandler is not interested. Ross intervenes and forbids both of them from coming to a party."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there. Joey Tribbiani : You could drink the fat. Ross Geller : Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation. Rachel Green : No, no, no, now wait, wa, wa, waa-it a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That actually, uh, that sounds interesting. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I think you should drink the fat. Joey Tribbiani : Yaaaay! Ross Geller : Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait, let me get you another glass. That's been sitting out. Ross Geller : I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers.", "summary": "Ross wants Rachel to attend an event with him, but she says she's not going. Ross apologizes and tries to convince her otherwise. Joey suggests drinking fat as a way to prove how much he cares about Rachel, which she finds interesting. Phoebe offers to get another glass of milkshake for them to drink."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, no, no, wait! Okay, okay. Don't! I'll go, I'll go! Ross Geller : You will?! Rachel Green : You were really gonna do that, weren't you? Ross Geller : Well, yeah. Rachel Green : You were gonna drink the fat. Joey Tribbiani : Let's see what else he'll do! Ross Geller : How 'bout instead you, go get changed! You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica! Chandler Bing : Stop it. Stop it! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no! Richard Burke : Hi, this is Richard.", "summary": "Ross tries to drink a fat-filled beverage, but Rachel stops him. Joey and Chandler make fun of Ross's plan, and Monica tries to help. Phoebe tries to intervene, but the situation escalates."}
-{"dialogues": "Machine : You have three new messages. Monica Geller : Not any more! Machine : Message erased. To record a message begin speaking at the tone. Monica Geller : Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye. Machine : Your outgoing message has now been changed. Monica Geller : Outgoing! Did that say outgoing?! Not, outgoing!!! Monica Geller : \"Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know.\" Nooo!! Phoebe Buffay : How did you do that? Monica Geller : I don't know! Machine : Good-bye.", "summary": "Monica accidentally leaves a message on Richard's machine confessing to doing something crazy, possibly related to her menstruation. She quickly tries to delete the message but it has already been recorded and played back to Richard. Panicked, Monica tries to cover up the incident but Phoebe discovers what happened and offers no help."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Noooo!!!! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, okay, I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go! Monica Geller : Maybe we could call the phone company. Maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, after this, I think he'll be doing that himself. Ross Geller : Rachel!! Wow! You, uh, you look, wow! Rachel Green : And I still have about five seconds to spare. Okay, that was about seven seconds. Ross Geller : So we're a little late. Rachel Green : Come on. Oh! And, uh, by the way.... Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I'm going commando, too.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are trying to change a phone message for a man named Ralph, but Phoebe thinks they should just call him directly. Meanwhile, Rachel reveals that she is also wearing no underwear."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Awwww!!! Sherman Whitfield : Dr. Geller, Sherman Whitfield, London Institute. Ross Geller : Wow! What a pleasure. Sherman Whitfield : Well, I have to tell you, I was quite impressed with your paper on Pre-Cretaceous fossils. Yeah, it confirmed everything that I have written. Chandler Bing : Excuse me. Hi. Sherman Whitfield : Yes? Chandler Bing : Well, your kind of sitting in my seat. Sherman Whitfield : What do you mean, your seat? Chandler Bing : I mean, I was sitting there. Sherman Whitfield : But, you got up!", "summary": "Ross Geller meets a renowned paleontologist named Sherman Whitfield at a conference. Ross is impressed by Sherman's work on Pre-Cretaceous fossils and they discuss Ross's own research in the field. Meanwhile, Chandler Bing accidentally takes the seat belonging to Sherman Whitfield."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : But, I never left the room! Sherman Whitfield : But, you left the chair area. Chandler Bing : All right, that's it, give me your underwear. Joey Tribbiani : WHOAA!! Chandler Bing : See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed. Monica Geller : Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning. Ross Geller : Where'd you get fruit at four in the morning? Monica Geller : Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale. Rachel Green : I didn't know there were docks. Joey Tribbiani : Hey.", "summary": "Chandler and Sherman argue over who left a room, while Monica makes jam and Ross questions where she got the fruit. Joey jumps on the bed and Chandler demands his underwear, leading to chaos among the friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Aww, is it broken? Joey Tribbiani : No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. Rachel Green : Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed? Joey Tribbiani : Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket. Joey Tribbiani : What is this? Fruit? Rachel Green : Monica's making jam. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, jam! I love jam! Hey, how come we never have jam at our place? Chandler Bing : Because the kids need new shoes.", "summary": "Joey has to wear a ridiculous outfit for two weeks, and Chandler sells him out to the doctor by claiming Joey injured his shoulder jumping up and down on his bed, while Rachel tries to help Joey come up with a story. Monica is making jam at home, and the friends discuss why they never have it at their place, leading to a conversation about the kids needing new shoes."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. Joey Tribbiani : This will just be my batch. Phoebe Buffay : Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you. Guy : You wouldn't return my calls, you sent back my letters.... Phoebe Buffay : What? Guy : One more chance Ursula, please? Phoebe Buffay : Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward. Guy : Wh.. Phoebe Buffay : Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously. Guy : Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!", "summary": "Monica decides to move on from Richard and starts a business plan. Joey suggests making jam as a way to distract herself, but Phoebe rejects the idea. A man keeps following Phoebe and she becomes uncomfortable. When she finally confronts him, he reveals that he has been trying to contact her for weeks. Phoebe plays along, pretending to be her twin sister Ursula, before the man realizes his mistake."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're not a dingus. Guy : I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay. Guy : Well thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying? Guy : Not really. Phoebe Buffay : Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay. Guy : Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee? Guy : Yeah, okay.", "summary": "A guy meets a girl named Phoebe who is acting strange and thinks she might be a witch. He tries to convince her that he's not a dingus (a derogatory term), but she insists that she's just an average student. Phoebe tries to help the guy feel better by telling him a story about when she thought she was a witch in junior high school and a guidance counselor told her she wasn't a witch, but an average student. The guy thanks Phoebe for being nice and invites her to get coffee with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more. Guy : Sorry. Rachel Green : Mon? Ross Geller : Mon? Rachel Green : 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.' Ross Geller : Wait a minute, look. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Look, look, look. Rachel Green : What, what, what? Ross Geller : It's an empty apartment.", "summary": "Rachel finds an empty apartment and becomes suspicious, leading to a conversation among the friends about what might have happened."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oooh. Ross Geller : We're all alone in an empty apartment. Rachel Green : Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. Ross Geller : There it is. Rachel Green : Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Do I look fat? Rachel Green : Noo. Chandler Bing : Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow. Rachel Green : Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are in an empty apartment when they realize they have to be at work soon. Ross brings up a previous conversation about being employee of the year, and Rachel reassures him that he's not. Chandler joins them and is asked if he looks fat, which he denies. Janice then enters the conversation, with Chandler explaining that she misunderstood his previous response as calling her a cow."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her.... Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter? Rachel Green : Nooo! Ross Geller : And it works both ways. Chandler Bing : Okay, so you both just know this stuff? Rachel Green : Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on. Ross Geller : Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do? Chandler Bing : That's easy, baggage claim. Ross Geller : Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her. Chandler Bing : Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.", "summary": "Janice asks Chandler if she looks fat, and he looks at her. Ross gives advice on how to handle the situation, suggesting options for how to meet Janice at the airport and emphasizing the importance of showing affection without being too clingy. Chandler has a question about how to tell Janice that he wants space without offending her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. Okay, I'm late for work. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : All right are you guys gonna come down? Ross Geller : Uh, yeah, yeah I'll, I'm right behind you. Rachel Green : Good luck Chandler. Chandler Bing : Thank you Rachel. Ross Geller : Bye sweetie. Rachel Green : Bye hon. Ross Geller : Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do. Chandler Bing : Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are unable to help someone due to their sleeping habits. Chandler mistakenly refers to them as \"cuddlily sleepers.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. Okay, you're in bed... Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : I'm gonna use the cushion. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you. Chandler Bing : Okay, the old hug and roll. Ross Geller : Yep. Chandler Bing : Okay, one question. Ross Geller : Shoot. Chandler Bing : You're pretending the pillow's a girl right?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are trying to figure out how to get a cuddly girl into bed without waking her up. Ross wants to use the cushion, but Chandler is hesitant. They come up with a plan to hug and roll her back over to her side of the bed once she falls asleep."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon? Rachel Green : You're so pretty. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! #ALL# : Hey, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today. Joey Tribbiani : You talked to him. Are you crazy? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order. Chandler Bing : Umm, not feeling better 'bout Malcom. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute. Ross Geller : Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.", "summary": "Malcolm (not the serial killer) has been following Phoebe because he thought she was Ursula, but he's actually very romantic and passionate. However, there's a restraining order against him due to past behavior. Despite this, Phoebe finds him cute and they get along well."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather. Monica Geller : Hey guys. #ALL# : Hey Mon. Monica Geller : Joey, this is for you. It's blackberry curin. Joey Tribbiani : Aww. Ohh! Chandler Bing : Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked , or, or a big tub of jam. Joey Tribbiani : Put your hands together. Monica Geller : Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.", "summary": "Joey is concerned about Ursula's influence on him and asks Phoebe for help. Monica brings over some blackberry curd and Chandler makes a vulgar joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No more jam?! Rachel Green : Well, what happened to your jam plan? Monica Geller : I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies. Chandler Bing : Well, your gonna need much bigger jars. Ross Geller : What are you talking about? Monica Geller : I'm talking about me having a baby. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Are you serious? Monica Geller : Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan. Ross Geller : Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!", "summary": "Monica decides to start a jam business but realizes she needs to charge more to break even. She then switches to a new plan - having babies."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid. Chandler Bing : That, that's what's stupid. Monica Geller : I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff. Rachel Green : Down at the docks again? Janice Litman Goralnik : Night-night Bing-a-ling. Chandler Bing : Night-night.....Janice. 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' Malcom : Here's my binoculars. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going. Malcom : These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. What's this?", "summary": "Monica wants a baby, but she'll be 56 before she can have one, so she jokes about using Chandler's sperm from his best swimmers. Rachel interrupts and teases them about their dock plans. Janice joins in and they all continue to banter until Malcolm brings out his binoculars and night vision goggles for a peeping tom session in the park. Phoebe joins in on the fun and they all continue to playfully flirt and tease each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Malcom : Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it? Phoebe Buffay : Um, not even a little bit. Malcom : It's about you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay then. Malcom : I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool. Phoebe Buffay : Good. So what were you thinking? Malcom : I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Malcom : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh.", "summary": "Malcolm records a conversation with Phoebe, during which he expresses his admiration for her and reveals that he thought about kissing her."}
-{"dialogues": "Malcom : See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Chandler Bing : No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard. Monica Geller : Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2\", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis. Chandler Bing : You mean there's more than one of us. Ross Geller : Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna..... Monica Geller : You're gonna what? Ross Geller : I'm gonna tell Mom. Rachel Green : Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy. Ross Geller : Crazy.", "summary": "Ross tries to stop Monica from choosing a sperm donor for their baby, but she ignores him and continues with the process."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something.... Ross Geller : Oh, it's not the ideal way... Monica Geller : Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know? Joey Tribbiani : Check it out!! Jam crackers! Monica Geller : Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. Oh my God, under personal comments 'New York Knicks, rule!' Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the Knicks rule! Monica Geller : Joey, this is you! Joey Tribbiani : Let me see. Oh, right. Rachel Green : When did you go to a sperm bank? Joey Tribbiani : Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?", "summary": "Monica Geller discovers that Ben, her boyfriend, looks at Ross in a romantic way, causing her to feel jealous. Joey Tribbiani interjects with his own observation about the actor's profile, and Rachel Green makes a comment about Joey's gift-giving habits."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And that's how you bought it? Joey Tribbiani : Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left. Monica Geller : Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little. Phoebe Buffay : Hellooo! #ALL# : Hey. Ross Geller : How's the maniac? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'. Rachel Green : Phoebe, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani donated his clothes to charity, but they were later sold at an auction. Monica Geller is surprised that any of Joey's clothes remain, as she has an actual rocket scientist as a guest. Joey suggests calling the auction house to have his \"Days of Our Lives\" TV show added to the collection. Phoebe Buffay joins the conversation and reveals that she kissed someone, but they are no longer interested in her due to having quit for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that. Phoebe Buffay : Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything. Ross Geller : You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles? Phoebe Buffay : What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her? Chandler Bing : Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order. Phoebe Buffay : What are you saying I should do? Monica Geller : I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you, Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes. Monica Geller : Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.", "summary": "Rachel is suspicious of a guy who has been obsessed with her sister for a long time, but Phoebe thinks she should trust him. Ross disagrees and says Phoebe should not trust him based on his possession of night vision goggles. Chandler sarcastically advises Phoebe to \"wake up and smell the restraining order.\" Monica suggests that if Phoebe really likes the guy, she should trust him, while Joey suggests following him to see where he goes."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God, what happened? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed! Rachel Green : Wow! Spinning that sounds like fun. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing. Rachel Green : Ross's what? Janice Litman Goralnik : You know what, where he hugs you and kinda rolls you away and... Oh... my....God. Malcom : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yes? Yes! Oh. Malcom : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh.", "summary": "Ross attempts a \"Hug and Roll\" on Janice, but Chandler spins her off the bed instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Malcom : Were you following me? Phoebe Buffay : Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister. Malcom : So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train? Malcom : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch. Malcom : Uh-huh, I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go? Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey.", "summary": "Malcolm was following Phoebe, who was afraid he was still hung up on her sister. Phoebe confessed and tried to make light of it, but Malcolm felt bad and apologized. Phoebe agreed to help him get over her sister, but Malcolm wasn't sure if he wanted to continue dating her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Where you going? Monica Geller : To the bank. Joey Tribbiani : Sperm or regular? Monica Geller : Sperm. Joey Tribbiani : So you're really doing this, huh? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135. Joey Tribbiani : Sounds nice. Monica Geller : 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes... Joey Tribbiani : No kiddin', hmm. Monica Geller : What?", "summary": "Monica goes to the bank and reveals she has chosen a sperm donor with brown hair and green eyes."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy. Monica Geller : Really? Why? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt. Monica Geller : Hoyt? Joey Tribbiani : It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool. Monica Geller : Really, is he a swimmer? Joey Tribbiani : He's got the body for it. Monica Geller : I like that. What? Joey Tribbiani : You guys have one of those signs that says 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know. Monica Geller : We do not have one of those signs.", "summary": "Monica and Joey have a conversation about who she will end up with. Joey thinks she should be with a tall, smart blonde man named Hoyt. Monica reveals that she does not have such a sign in her house."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids. Monica Geller : Two girls and a boy? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Monica Geller : And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them. Joey Tribbiani : Sure! But hey, you know this way sounds good too. Monica Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh Monica. Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, for like a day. . Joey Tribbiani : I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it Maybe if they met me in person. Rachel Green : Honey, you got a little thing on your... Joey Tribbiani : Did I get it?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Monica discuss their children, with Joey sharing that he has called the sperm bank to inquire about selling his semen."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Hello. Rachel Green : Hello. Ross Geller : Hey. Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second? Chandler Bing : Sure. What's up? Ross Geller : Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! Host : Welcome everybody, welcome to Amazing Discoveries! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh! It's on again! Joey Tribbiani : You guys, can we please not watch this all right. #ALL# : Shhhh!", "summary": "Ross tries to start a conversation with Chandler about women, but Chandler is not interested. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Joey try to be quiet during the Amazing Discoveries video."}
-{"dialogues": "Host : Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you said it Mike. Aw! There's got to be a better way! Mike : And there is Kevin. Joey Tribbiani : Can we please turn this off? Rachel Green : Noo way, Kevin. Mike : There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000. Ross Geller : Are you intrigued? Chandler Bing : You're flingin'-flangin' right I am! Mike : Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead. This works with any milk carton. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, it is easy. Now, I can have milk everyday.", "summary": "Mike and Joey struggle to open milk cartons, leading to a discussion of alternative products. Kevin introduces the Milk Master 2000, which simplifies milk carton opening. Ross expresses interest in the product, and Chandler jokes about its ease of use. Joey is impressed with the product's simplicity and plans to use it daily."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, it's official there are no good movies. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. Monica Geller : Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, so that you can bunny bump against my back. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey, man. What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?! Chandler Bing : Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! Okay, it was me! Joey Tribbiani : How is it you?", "summary": "Plot: The gang goes to a bad movie and makes out, while Joey's agent schedules an audition he wasn't aware of. Chandler denies giving Joey the message, but Phoebe takes credit for it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. Joey Tribbiani : Yep, that's my audition. Monica Geller : See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere. Phoebe Buffay : Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play. Janice Litman Goralnik : What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment. Joey Tribbiani : Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance. Phoebe Buffay : That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents. Phoebe Buffay : What a sad little life she must lead. Okay, ooh . Joey Tribbiani : What, what are you doing? What are you doing?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses an audition for a play, with Joey Tribbiani not being selected due to missing his chance. Phoebe Buffay offers to call the casting director to take responsibility, but Joey explains that only agents can communicate with her. Janice Litman Goralnik joins the conversation and expresses disappointment at the unfairness of it all."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.' Joey Tribbiani : Hang up, hang up. Phoebe Buffay : 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.' Chandler Bing : Is anybody else scared? Phoebe Buffay : 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' I need a pen. Chandler Bing : Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad! Monica Geller : Oh, now you want a pad. Carol Willick : Hey!! Ross Geller : There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbi What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbi? Carol Willick : He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.", "summary": "Joey missed an audition for a role in a play, and Phoebe's office is concerned about the consequences for Estelle. Chandler and Monica are scared, while Carol tries to distract Ross with his new toy."}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret. Ross Geller : Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again? Susan Bunch : So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business. Carol Willick : This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it? Ross Geller : You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I. Ross Geller : Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? Rachel Green : Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? Monica Geller : I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob? Joey Tribbiani : I love that movie. Monica Geller : There it is. Joey, what are you doing?", "summary": "Ross has a doll that he carries around everywhere, which his friends find amusing. Carol accuses Ross of being raised by two women and Ross defends himself. Ben asks to play with Ross's doll, leading to a series of requests from the others for Ben to play with various toys. Rachel mocks Ross for playing with a doll, while Monica is distracted by her missing left boob."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, it just felt nice. Chandler Bing : Joe. Joe! Answer the phone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater. Chandler Bing : Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight. Rachel Green : What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice? Chandler Bing : Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes. Ross Geller : And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata? Chandler Bing : Noo. Ross Geller : You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you. Chandler Bing : No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'", "summary": "Janice puts half her chicken piccata on Chandler's plate at dinner and takes his tomatoes. Chandler is annoyed and feels like they are suddenly a couple without their consent."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Men are unbelievable. Monica Geller : What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away? Chandler Bing : I know, that, that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid. Monica Geller : Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know about that?! Chandler Bing : Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side! Ross Geller : Where there is no fear of commitment. Chandler Bing : Do we have any... Do we have any thoughts here? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was. Rachel Green : Amazingly, that makes sense.", "summary": "Chandler is afraid to commit to a relationship due to past experiences, while Joey shares his own fears of committing to a single girl in a car. Ross offers support and encouragement, and Rachel agrees that facing one's fears is key to overcoming them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You think? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind! Chandler Bing : Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again? Rachel Green : Sure Pheebs, you know, that's what it's there for, emergencies and pretend agents. Joey Tribbiani : Come on baby, come on! Phoebe Buffay : 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.' Rachel Green : Very nice touch. Phoebe Buffay : 'Okay, go ahead.' Um, hi Annie. Fantastic! You got it. Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next.... Op, went through a tunnel. Rachel Green : Unbelievable.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani engage in absurd and humorous conversations while Phoebe Buffay returns a page and pretends to be an agent. The group's interactions are interspersed with references to emergencies and pretend agents, adding to the comedic tone."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thank you so much. Phoebe Buffay : It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before. Joey Tribbiani : You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two. Phoebe Buffay : Two? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'll do it, but just these three, right Joey Tribbiani : Nooo, four. Janice Litman Goralnik : So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight?", "summary": "Joey wants Phoebe to do him a favor and get him into an audition, despite her initial hesitation. Phoebe agrees to help him out with three auditions, but then Joey asks for four more."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ohhh, are you a puppy! Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper. Chandler Bing : Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, you didn't have to do this. Chandler Bing : Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer. Chandler Bing : Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip. Janice Litman Goralnik : We should? Chandler Bing : Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents! Janice Litman Goralnik : I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?", "summary": "Chandler Bing gives his girlfriend, Janice Litman Goralnik, a new drawer as a gift. Janice is surprised and confused by the gesture, and Chandler explains that it's because she's his girlfriend and that's what girlfriends should get. The two then discuss taking a trip together and meeting each other's parents."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay. Janice Litman Goralnik : You probably want us to move in together? Chandler Bing : It doesn't scare me! Janice Litman Goralnik : Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um... Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. Rachel Green : Honey, this will help. Chandler Bing : So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down. Monica Geller : Uff. Monica Geller : That is never good. Chandler Bing : Then I got all needy and clingy.", "summary": "Chandler Bing invites Janice over for pasta and suggests moving in together, but she's not ready. He scares her off and apologizes in advance for chasing her down the street."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it? Chandler Bing : She said she'd call me. Monica Geller : Ohh! Chandler Bing : Oh God. Monica Geller : Welcome to our side of the tunnel. Chandler Bing : This ice cream tastes like crap by the way. Rachel Green : Yeah, well that's that lo-cal, non dairy, soy milk junk. We sort of, we save the real stuff for those really terminal cases. Monica Geller : You know, when you start get screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat. Rachel Green : Yeah, you do. Chandler Bing : So, you don't think I'm terminal?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss how they save the real ice cream for serious situations, while Chandler is upset about being rejected and Monica offers support."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, no, not at all, you're not terminal, you just, you just need some damage control. Chandler Bing : Okay, okay. So, should I call her? Monica Geller : Nooo! Rachel Green : This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof. Monica Geller : She has to know that your not ready. Rachel Green : Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof. Chandler Bing : So I'm not, not gonna lose her? Rachel Green : Oooh, honey, you're not a total loser. Chandler Bing : I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?' Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Chandler tries to win back his ex by accidentally running into her and acting aloof, but Monica advises him to be honest about his feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Guess who's here. It's the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. 'A real American hero. I'm G.I. Joe!' Drop the Barbi, drop the Barbi. Rachel Green : G.I. Joe? Do you really think he's gonna fall for that? Joey Tribbiani : G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play? Ross Geller : Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas! Joey Tribbiani : Go Joe!!! Phoebe Buffay : Helloo! Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! There you are! Phoebe Buffay : No it's not, sorry. Joey Tribbiani : But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.", "summary": "G.I. Joe visits and Ross attempts to impress him with a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas. Joey wants to play with G.I. Joe, while Rachel doubts he will fall for Ross's scheme. Phoebe enters and confusion ensues as she doesn't recognize Joey in his new outfit."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it. Phoebe Buffay : Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : It's okay, these things happen. Phoebe Buffay : But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that. Joey Tribbiani : I'm, I'm okay. See. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit. Joey Tribbiani : No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally. Phoebe Buffay : Not personal, really, well they said that they never met an Italian actor with a worse Italian accent. Joey Tribbiani : They actually said that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...", "summary": "Joey auditioned for a TV movie but didn't get the part. His agent, Phoebe, tried to console him but accidentally made things worse by saying something insensitive about Joey's Italian accent. Joey took it in stride and told Phoebe that rejection is part of being an actor and not to take it personally. Despite this setback, Phoebe ultimately quit as Joey's agent, citing her own insecurities about making Joey look creepy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. I canna work on a new accent. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah okay, no if it helps you okay. Yeah. Ross Geller : You'll never get me, Joe!!! Janice Litman Goralnik : No, thank you. Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hello, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : What are you doing here? Chandler Bing : Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been? Janice Litman Goralnik : Are you being British?! Chandler Bing : No. Not anymore. Janice Litman Goralnik : Why are you shopping here? You don't live in this neighborhood. Were you here waiting for me?", "summary": "* Joey and Phoebe discuss agents lying and how it can be used to their advantage.\n* Ross becomes frustrated with Joey's antics.\n* Janice enters and Chandler tries to impress her with his British accent.\n* Chandler is revealed to have been shopping in the area, but denies it when questioned by Janice."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. Janice Litman Goralnik : Barley? What kind of party serves barley? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours. Janice Litman Goralnik : Where is this party? Chandler Bing : Here in Chelsea. Janice Litman Goralnik : Who's party is it? Chandler Bing : A woman's Janice Litman Goralnik : What woman?! Chandler Bing : Chelsea. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be?", "summary": "Chandler Bing is planning a party and buys ingredients at the store, including barley, which he claims is for a woman's party. Janice Litman Goralnik questions him about the party and accuses him of seeing someone behind her back or pretending to see someone, leading to a confrontation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Can I be that guy? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, shoot. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, um, oh, the zoo commercial. Joey Tribbiani : I didn't get it? Phoebe Buffay : No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, what else? Phoebe Buffay : Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were pretty but dumb.' Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no wait, I'm sorry, that's 'pretty dumb.'", "summary": "Joey didn't get a commercial for being unbelievable as a human being, and an off-Broadway play said he was pretty but dumb."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no, I understand. Joey Tribbiani : You do, thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you caught me. I am so busted.", "summary": "Joey wants to go back to his previous agent, Estelle, despite Phoebe's better efforts as an agent. Joey appreciates Phoebe's attempts but feels she's not as intelligent as Estelle. Phoebe agrees and apologizes, admitting she made up excuses to avoid being Joey's agent."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That's-ah what I suspected-ah. Chandler Bing : ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store. Monica Geller : My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'. Chandler Bing : I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right? Rachel Green : Yeah, it is. Monica Geller : You know what, everything's gonna be okay. Chandler Bing : Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. Okay, what do I do? Rachel Green : Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented. Monica Geller : If-if-if we ever did what you did a man would never call. Rachel Green : Yeah.", "summary": "Chandler throws a bag of barley at Joey's girlfriend and runs out of the store, causing Monica to yell at him for being too clumsy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hello! Monica Geller : Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy. Rachel Green : Yes, and grumpy. Chandler Bing : What are you, stop naming dwarves! Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. Really?! Really?! Rachel Green : He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now. Chandler Bing : I love you too. Monica Geller : Aw, it's soo unfair. Carol Willick : G. I. Joe. G. I. Joe?! Ross Geller : Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose. Susan Bunch : What'd you do, dip it in sugar?", "summary": "Chandler confesses his love for Janice and admits to acting strangely because of it. Rachel expresses jealousy and disbelief, while Monica and Carol make lighthearted comments. Ross provides an unexpected response regarding a doll."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.' Monica Geller : What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time. Ross Geller : What are you talking about? Monica Geller : The big hat, the pearls, the little pick handbag. Ross Geller : Okay, you are totally making this up. Monica Geller : How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea. Ross Geller : Oh God. Susan Bunch : I've literally never been this happy.", "summary": "Ross dresses up in women's clothing and Monica discovers his secret."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wasn't there a little song? Carol Willick : Oh please God, let there be a song. Ross Geller : There was no song. There was no song! Monica Geller : 'I am Bea.' Ross Geller : Okay. Monica Geller : 'I drink tea.' Ross Geller : Okay, that's, that's enough. Monica Geller : '....Won't you, won't you, won't you.... ' Ross Geller : Won't you dance around with me. Monica Geller : A-ha!!!", "summary": "Monica sings a silly song about being \"Bea\" and drinking tea, while Ross tries to get her to stop."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' Ohhh! Monica Geller : Ross!!! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off? Joey Tribbiani : No. Y'know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step. Chandler Bing : You're building a post office? Joey Tribbiani : No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. It's a one day job, max.", "summary": "Ross says he is Bea and drinks tea. Monica interrupts with a reaction to Ross. Chandler joins in with a comment, followed by Joey. They discuss building a post office or entertainment unit with a mail cubby."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. My word! Those are snug. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valente's. Joey Tribbiani : Power saw kinda got away from me there. Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Any sign of your brother? Phoebe Buffay : No, but he's always late. Rachel Green : I thought you only met him once? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, 'Frank's always late.' Rachel Green : Well relax, he'll be here.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group talks about Joey's old work pants and how a power saw got away from him. Phoebe mentions her brother Frank, who is always late, but she thinks it sounds like big sister talk. Rachel tries to reassure Phoebe that her brother will be okay."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, I know, I'm just nervous. Y'know it's just y'know Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister, Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately. It's like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. You're so sweet to wait with me. Rachel Green : Well, actually Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here, it's a thing. Chandler Bing : Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute? Monica Geller : No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox. Chandler Bing : All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list. Joey Tribbiani : Her what? Chandler Bing : Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can't get mad. Ross Geller : Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities. Monica Geller : So, Chandler, who's on your list? Chandler Bing : Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Phoebe Buffay's nervousness about her upcoming family gathering after her mother's death, where she fears her grandmother has been sleeping a lot lately. Rachel Green arrives and informs them that Gunther sent her to wait with Phoebe, as there are no cups allowed outside. Chandler Bing enters the conversation, revealing that Janice has put him on her \"freebie list\" of celebrities she would sleep with. Joey Tribbiani expresses confusion about the concept, and Ross Geller adds his perspective on healthy relationships, highlighting honesty, respect, and celebrity sex. Monica Geller asks Chandler about his list of celebrity picks, which includes Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and Jessica Rabbit."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Now, you do realize that she's a cartoon, and way out of your league? Chandler Bing : I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, who would yours be? Monica Geller : First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list. Joey Tribbiani : It's just a game Mon. Rach, how about you? Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know, I guess, Chris O'Donnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson. Ross Geller : Spiderman? Rachel Green : Hardy Boy. Chandler Bing : Peter Parker. Ross Geller : Thank you.", "summary": "Rachel Green fantasizes about various celebrities as her ideal romantic partners, while Chandler Bing jokes about getting her eyes to pop out of her head. Joey Tribbiani asks Monica Geller who her celebrity crushes are, and she responds by saying she needs a boyfriend first. Rachel Green then names some of her celebrity crushes, including Chris O'Donnell, John F. Kennedy Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson. Ross Geller teases Rachel about her choice of Spiderman as a celebrity crush, while Chandler Bing and Rachel Green both suggest Peter Parker as a potential match for Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What about you honey, who would be on your list? Ross Geller : Well I-I-I, that kind of thing requires some serious thought. First, I'll divide my perspective canidates into catergories.... Chandler Bing : What a geek! Phoebe Buffay : Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank. #ALL# : Oh, hi. Phoebe Buffay : This is everybody. This is Ross. Frank Buffay Jr. : How are you? Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hi.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their list of potential partners, while Chandler and Phoebe mock Ross's thoughtful approach and Frank enters the scene, introducing himself as Phoebe's half-brother."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : This is Monica. Frank Buffay Jr. : Whoa! Phoebe Buffay : And this is Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Frank Buffay Jr. : Whoa!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm gonna get coffee.", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr. meets Phoebe and Joey at Central Perk, where they introduce him to Monica and Rachel. Frank is surprised by the sudden appearance of these people he has never met before."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, how do you guys get anything done? Chandler Bing : We don't, really. Rachel Green : Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! Yeah, no, we're gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker. Chandler Bing : You know, we don't really take advantage of living in the city. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get 'ya? Chandler Bing : No, you didn't get me!! It's an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!! Joey Tribbiani : Calm down, do you want this unit or not?", "summary": "The group of friends discusses how they don't get anything done and have no big plans. Frank suggests going to Time Square to buy ninja stars, while Chandler mentions taking a picture of a hooker. Joey accidentally insults Chandler with an electric drill comment, leading to confusion and laughter."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I do NOT want this unit!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, you should've told me that before, I'm not a mind reader. Hey, we're out of beer. I'm going to Monica's. Chandler Bing : Fine! Monica Geller : Hey! Where 'ya headin' in those pants? 1982? Joey Tribbiani : Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor. Monica Geller : Why, what's wrong with my bathroom floor? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing. It's just old and dingy, that's all. Monica Geller : I highly doubt that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. Yeah. Monica Geller : I can't live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?", "summary": "Monica wants to redo her bathroom floor, but Joey thinks it's fine. Chandler agrees to go with Monica to the hardware store to look at tiles on sale."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Relax. Here hold this . This old stuff just comes right off. Monica Geller : That's a little more than I wanted to see. Joey Tribbiani : Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. It'd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. Monica Geller : I can't leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor. Joey Tribbiani : Eh! There you go. Monica Geller : You know that's nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ew! Frank Buffay Jr. : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldn't, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad. Frank Buffay Jr. : What, wait, you mean like this?", "summary": "Monica finds a piece of Joey's food stuck to her floor and he suggests leaving it there, but Monica insists on removing it. They have a conversation about their parents and the ability to roll their tongues."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah. You can do it to. Frank Buffay Jr. : Your not doing it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I can't. We don't have that.... Frank Buffay Jr. : When's your birthday? Phoebe Buffay : Feburary 16th. Frank Buffay Jr. : I know a guy who's the 18th. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, that's close. When's yours? Frank Buffay Jr. : October 25th. Phoebe Buffay : That's the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home? Frank Buffay Jr. : Melt stuff.", "summary": "Frank and Phoebe discuss their birthdays and a mutual acquaintance who can melt things."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, I've got three of my five. Rachel Green : Three of your five, what? Ross Geller : Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with. Rachel Green : Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought. Ross Geller : Yeah, it's hard okay, I only have two spots left. Chandler Bing : All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to? Ross Geller : Okay, Elizabeth Hurely.... Chandler Bing : Oooh-hoo, very attractive, forgiving. Ross Geller : Susan Sarandon. Chandler Bing : Eh, y'know what, she's to political, she probably wouldn't let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.", "summary": "Ross Geller has a list of celebrities he is allowed to sleep with, and he is trying to narrow it down. He mentions some options to his friends, including Elizabeth Hurley and Susan Sarandon, but Chandler Bing is not impressed with either of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : And!! Isabella Rosselini. Chandler Bing : Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know she's too international, y'know she's never gonna be around. Rachel Green : So? Chandler Bing : So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody who's gonna be in the country like all the time. Rachel Green : Yeah, 'cause that's why you won't get Isabella Rosselini, geography. Phoebe Buffay : Okay so, by melting, you meant melting. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : So is it like art? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, you can melt art. Hey, can I use your phone? Phoebe Buffay : Um, yeah sure. Why you wanna call your Mom?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Ross and Chandler discuss a woman named Isabella Rosselini, who is hot and sexy but not available due to her international status. Rachel agrees, saying they need to play the odds and pick someone who will be in the country frequently. Phoebe enters the conversation, misunderstanding their discussion and thinking they are talking about melting as in art. Frank joins in, also misunderstanding and asking to use Phoebe's phone to call his mom."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : No, I wanna melt it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well um, not right now. Y'know I'm just gonna go to bed, I think the fumes are giving me a headache. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : G'night, bro. Frank Buffay Jr. : G'night. Phoebe Buffay : Here. Y'know, just in case. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, excellent. Monica Geller : What kind of karate is that? Phoebe Buffay : No kind. He just makes it up. Monica Geller : So how's it going with you guys?", "summary": "Frank and Phoebe discuss melting a candle, but Phoebe is uninterested and leaves to go to bed due to headaches from the fumes. Frank stays up and finds a new use for the candle. Monica enters and asks about the karate Phoebe was practicing earlier, which turns out to be made-up. The conversation ends with Monica asking about Frank and Phoebe's relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So far, it kinda blows. I don't know, I just thought y'know that he'd feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and.... Monica Geller : Oh honey, we're close now but you-you wouldn't believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and.... That's where the waistband actually goes over your head. Phoebe Buffay : Ah!! Monica Geller : Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how do you play the shadow game? Monica Geller : Oh, how do you play the shadow game? Phoebe Buffay : I just asked you. Monica Geller : I just asked you. Phoebe Buffay : I don't have time for this. Monica Geller : No, that is what the game is.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around Phoebe and Monica reminiscing about their childhood memories of playing pranks on each other, specifically the \"shadow game.\" They share stories of how they would try to make shadows on the wall look like various objects or people, and how they used to drive each other crazy with their antics."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Which you just gave up really quickly. Chandler Bing : Have you seen Joey? Monica Geller : What's the matter? Chandler Bing : Oh, just this! Y'know what it's my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles. Chandler Bing : What's going on? Monica Geller : He's retiling my floor. Chandler Bing : Yo!! Spackel boy! Get up! Monica Geller : Ah-ah-ah, now you started this, you will finish it. Chandler Bing : He started mine first!", "summary": "Joey retiles Monica's floor, while Chandler tries to stop him but ends up getting covered in varnish."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Build the unit Cinderelly, lay the tile Cinderelly. Frank Buffay Jr. : Whoa! Big octopus. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. 'Hello. Oh my God, I totally forgot! Well can't someone else do it. But, I have company. Yeah, no look, that's all right I'll come in.' Um, Frank, I'm really sorry but I have to go to work. It's-it's one of my regulars and he's insisting that I do 'um. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, what kind of work do you do? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I'm a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff. Frank Buffay Jr. : You-you work at one of those massage parlors? Phoebe Buffay : Well, y'know we don't call it that, but yeah! Frank Buffay Jr. : Wow! That's wild! No, I had no idea. Phoebe Buffay : All righty. I'll be back in-in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me? Frank Buffay Jr. : You mean like watch?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Phoebe Buffay's plans to build a unit called \"Cinderelly\" and lay tiles, as well as her work as a masseuse at a massage parlor. Frank Buffay Jr. expresses surprise at Phoebe's job, referring to it as a \"massage parlors.\" Phoebe apologizes and has to leave for work, inviting Frank to come with her if he wants."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, no, you can get one yourself. It'll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, I don't think this, y'know. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, I wouldn't do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, I'll get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah! Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there? Monica Geller : It's beautiful! It's like the first bathroom floor there ever was. Whoa! Are you going in there for? Chandler Bing : What, like a number? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi! Bye! Ross Geller : Okay, I'm done with my choices, these are final. Rachel Green : Well, it's about time.", "summary": "Phoebe offers to get a massage for Frank Jr., but insists on getting one of the other girls to do it instead. Monica and Rachel work at the spa, and Chandler makes a joke about giving a number. Ross finalizes his choices for the massage."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, very official. Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer. Monica Geller : And who laminated it? Ross Geller : That would be me. Rachel Green : All right let me see. Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and Dorothy Hammel? Ross Geller : Hey, it's my list. Rachel Green : Okay honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice. Frank Buffay Jr. : Ow!-Ow!-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Y'know, ow! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!-Hey! What's going on? Frank Buffay Jr. : She broke my arm.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a list of names, including Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Dorothy Hammel. Ross claims to have laminated the list, while Rachel questions the accuracy of the information on it. Frank Jr. gets his arm broken by Rachel, causing him to exclaim in pain."}
-{"dialogues": "Girl : He touched my fanny. Frank Buffay Jr. : No, she touched mine first! Girl : That's my job! Frank Buffay Jr. : So wait, what's the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I can't touch you? Girl : Ewww!!! Phoebe Buffay : You can't have sex with her! Girl : What'd you think I was, a hooker? Frank Buffay Jr. : No, your a masseuse, it's cool, I'm not a cop. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Jasmine, can you, can you ask Mr. Whiffler if he can wait for like five minutes. Jasmine : Fine. I don't like you!!", "summary": "A girl claims someone touched her private area without consent. A man denies it and says she touched him first. The conversation continues with the woman expressing disgust and asking for a wait time to address the issue."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So that's what you thought I did!! God! That's not what I do! Frank Buffay Jr. : Wait that's-that's, what that's not what you do? Phoebe Buffay : Nooo! Why would you think that? Frank Buffay Jr. : I don't know, I mean, y'know, this is the city y'know, I just, I mean, I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : Whatever, it's the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, wait, no your right, no it was perfect and I can't believe that I screwed it up so bad. Phoebe Buffay : You really thought it was perfect? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, no, maybe-maybe it wasn't perfect, but y'know it was pretty cool, y'know, 'cause we had all those great talks y'know. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, um, which ones in particular were great for you? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes...", "summary": "Frank mistakenly believes that Phoebe has been pretending to be someone else all weekend, causing him to question their friendship."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I don't.... Frank Buffay Jr. : How-how I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt. Phoebe Buffay : Right, okay, um-mm. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, y'know I feel like I can really talk to you 'cause y'know you're my sister, y'know. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I guess I do, yeah. Frank Buffay Jr. : Then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I-I wasn't hopping mad, y'know. Frank Buffay Jr. : You hopped a little bit. Yeah, I really sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this. Frank Buffay Jr. : This?", "summary": "Frank and Phoebe have a conversation about his likes and dislikes, including melting things and not liking things that don't melt. They also talk about their relationship as siblings and Frank accidentally makes Phoebe mad by touching her friend inappropriately."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker... Phoebe Buffay : She wasn't a hooker. Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, when I tell my friends about her she will be. Chandler Bing : Okay, on three. One....Two.... Joey Tribbiani : Why don't we just go on two. Chandler Bing : Why two? Joey Tribbiani : Because it's faster. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this 'two' talk. Rachel Green : Oh!", "summary": "Frank and Phoebe go to Time Square where Frank almost gets into a fight with a prostitute."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right, but in the future... Ross Geller : Okay!! Okay!! Rachel Green : Come on! Ross Geller : Heavy thing, not getting lighter! Chandler Bing : Okay, one...two... Joey Tribbiani : So we are going on two? #ALL# : All right!! Chandler Bing : Oh, good job Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, it's big! Chandler Bing : Yeah-yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about the future, while Joey and Chandler make a joke about the size of their apartments."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Maybe, my ruler's wrong. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe all the rulers are wrong. Joey Tribbiani : Look it's not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door. Chandler Bing : Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how 'bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, listen, before I forget that side is still wet. Rachel Green : Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? Okay, great. You freak. Ross Geller : Thank you. Isabella Rosselini : Um, coffee to go, please. Ross Geller : Isabella Rosselini. Monica Geller : Are you serious? Oh my God.", "summary": "A conversation about a shared coffee table between friends, where they discuss possible solutions for blocking doors and a new idea involving a coffee order."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Damn! I can't believe I took her off my list. Monica Geller : Why? 'Cause otherwise you'd go for it? Ross Geller : Yeah, maybe. Rachel Green : Oh-oh, you lie. Ross Geller : What you don't think I'd go up to her? Rachel Green : Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me. Ross Geller : Yeah, well missy, you better be glad that list is laminated. Rachel Green : You know what honey, you go ahead, we'll call her an alternate. Ross Geller : Okay, hold my crawler. Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Ross has a crush on Rachel but is hesitant to admit it due to past feelings for Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rach, are you really gonna let him do this? Rachel Green : Honey, he's about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn. Ross Geller : Hi! Hi, I'm Ross, you don't know me, but I'm a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? Or maybe reimburse you for that one? Isabella Rosselini : Aren't you with that girl over there? Ross Geller : Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but that's okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, so I'm allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, it's flattery. Isabella Rosselini : I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Don't, don't just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity... Isabella Rosselini : Yeah, for you. Is that the list? Ross Geller : Um, yeah. Isabella Rosselini : May I see it?", "summary": "Ross tries to hit on Isabella Rossellini, but she is not interested. He pulls out a list of five famous people he is allowed to sleep with, including her, but she is unimpressed and dismisses him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Um, no. Isabella Rosselini : Come on! Ross Geller : But, okay. Isabella Rosselini : I'm not on the list! Ross Geller : Um, see, but that's not the final draft. Isabella Rosselini : It's laminated! Ross Geller : Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local. Isabella Rosselini : Y'know it's ironic... Ross Geller : What? Isabella Rosselini : ...because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there.", "summary": "Isabella Rosselini is not on the list, despite being laminated. Ross Geller bumps her for Wynona Rider due to her international status. Isabella finds it ironic."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : We're just gonna be friends. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Chandler Bing : Umm? Joey Tribbiani : I bet 'ya ya I could fit in there. Chandler Bing : I've got five bucks says you can't. Joey Tribbiani : Get out your checkbook, mister. Chandler Bing : Oh, I think I have the cash. Joey Tribbiani : You are dogged man! I totally fit! Chandler Bing : Yeah, you got me. I'm out five big ones! Here you go. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Cha-ching! Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. And the drinks are on me!", "summary": "Joey attempts to fit in a box while Chandler bets $5 he can't. Joey successfully fits in the box, and Chandler pays him the money."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you? Phoebe Buffay : Wow, it's like a dirty math problem. Ross Geller : I'm sorry the answer there would be...none of us. Janice Litman Goralnik : Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid. Joey Tribbiani : Well, that's really a different question. Janice Litman Goralnik : I'm sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies. Joey Tribbiani : Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together. Monica Geller : What?!! Rachel Green : Excuse me, there was no time! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, but let's say there was. How might that go?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel have never had a sexual encounter despite spending a lot of time together with the other group members, including Joey, Ross, and Janice."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost? Rachel Green : Does anybody need more coffee? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'll take some. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, there's a dog out there! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that is so unfortunate. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight. Monica Geller : Okay, I'll be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe I'm sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone. Phoebe Buffay : You didn't leave lipstick marks on the phone. Monica Geller : Oh, then it must've been you. Bye.", "summary": "Janice asks if anyone has ever almost done something, Rachel offers coffee, Joey sees a dog outside, Phoebe notices a naked man putting on weight, and Monica returns with lipstick marks on the phone."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Bye-bye! That's why I moved out. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know while we're on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you don't live here anymore. Phoebe Buffay : I think on some levels she already knows. Ross Geller : Phoebe, she doesn't know that you sneak out every night, she doesn't know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesn't know that you've been living with your Grandmother's for a week now. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well maybe not on those levels. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : I'm never gonna find a roommate, ever. Phoebe Buffay : Why, nobody good? Chandler Bing : Well let's see, there was the guy with the ferrets, that's plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay moved out of her apartment and is now living with her grandmother. Ross Geller is concerned about informing his sister Monica about Phoebe's new living arrangement. Chandler Bing expresses frustration in finding a new roommate, including one who enjoyed making noise when saying his name and another with pet ferrets."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So how many more do you have tomorrow? Chandler Bing : Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who I'm not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone 'Chandler Bing,' he said 'Whoa-whoa, short message.' Monica Geller : Ross , foot on the floor or come over no more! Ross Geller : Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices. Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo... Chandler Bing : Umm, how's it going with you guys? Ross Geller : Oh, better, actually. Y'know I-I-I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, really? Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesn't really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think it's gonna make a difference", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss their schedules for the next day, with Chandler mentioning two more people he needs to meet. Monica enters and tells Ross to stop leaving his feet on her dresser. They quickly move on to other topics before Chandler brings up how he's doing with their group. Phoebe joins the conversation and Ross reveals that he thinks he has figure out why they've been having trouble lately, mentioning that Monica recently met a new friend at the gym named Susan who may help improve their dynamic."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Soo, ah, Eric, what kind of photography do ya do? Eric (photographer) : Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope that's cool. Chandler Bing : Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never. Eric (photographer) : Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sister's beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, she's a porn star. Chandler Bing : Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think you're chances are pretty good. All right. Chandler Bing : Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, Bye-bye. Joey Tribbiani : Don't you ah, don't you wanna ask me any questions? Chandler Bing : Sure. Ummm. What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Well, ah, I'm an actor. I'm fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and don't worry I'm totally okay with the gay thing. Chandler Bing : What gay thing?", "summary": "Chandler Bing meets a photographer named Eric who takes fashion photos and has a beach house where he spends most of his weekends. Eric invites Chandler to use the beach house, but mentions that his sister is a porn star. Chandler becomes interested in meeting his sister and asks if she's there, but Eric tells him she's not. Joey Tribbiani enters the scene and Chandler asks him questions about himself, but Joey doesn't have much to say other than he's an actor and is neat."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. I'm totally cool with that. Chandler Bing : Well okay Jerry, thanks for stopping by. Monica Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, Mon. Monica Geller : Hey-hey-hey. You wanna hear something that sucks. Chandler Bing : Do I ever. Monica Geller : Chris says they're closing down the bar. Chandler Bing : No way! Monica Geller : Yeah, apparently they're turning it into some kinda coffee place.", "summary": "People discuss being gay and a bar closure."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now? Monica Geller : Got me. Chandler Bing : Can I get a beer. Monica Geller : Hey, did you pick a roommate? Chandler Bing : You betcha! Monica Geller : Is it the Italian guy? Chandler Bing : Um-mm, yeah right! Monica Geller : He's so cute. Chandler Bing : Oh yes, and that's what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one. Monica Geller : Oh look, the pool table's free. Rack 'em up. I'll be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Monica Geller hang out at Central Perk, discussing their living situations and potential roommates. Chandler reveals he has chosen a new roommate, but refuses to disclose his identity for comedic effect. The two engage in a friendly game of pool before Monica leaves to prepare for their upcoming competition."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, but after that, we're shootin' some pool. Rachel Green : Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I don't think this is. Waitress : I am so sorry. Rachel Green : That's all right. I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh? Friend No. 1 : Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS Rachel Green : Ummm, I think it's time to see the ring again. Friend No. 2 : Oh, isn't it exciting, I mean it's like having a boyfriend for life. Rachel Green : Yeah, I know. Friend No. 1 : What? Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know. Well maybe it's just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I don't know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system.", "summary": "Rachel Green has a conversation with Chandler Bing and others at a restaurant. She also encounters a problem with her drink order. Meanwhile, some friends make a toast to Rachel's future marriage to Dr. Barry Farber DDS. Rachel expresses doubts about getting married and considers having one last fling before committing to Barry."}
-{"dialogues": "Friend No. 1 : Rachel stop! Friend No. 2 : You're so bad! Rachel Green : I'm serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see. Chandler Bing : Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball. Rachel Green : Yeah, so? Chandler Bing : And now I've picked it up again. Monica Geller : Oh my God, I went to high school with her. Rachel! Hi! Rachel Green : Monica! Look! Hi! What do ya think? Monica Geller : Oh my God, you can't even see where the Titanic hit it. Rachel Green : Yes, his name is Barry, he's a doctor, thank you very much.", "summary": "Rachel wants to have meaningless sex with the next guy she sees, while Chandler accidentally dropped his ball and picked it up again. Monica went to high school with Rachel and is shocked by her appearance."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Awww, just like you always wanted. Congratulations Rachel Green : Thank you. So how-how 'bout you, are-are you seeing anybody? Monica Geller : Aww, not right now. Rachel Green : Oh, but that's okay. Monica Geller : I know. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : So, I'll get-get back to my friend. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. Listen, can we please have lunch the next time I'm in the city? Monica Geller : Oh, that'd be great. Rachel Green : Okay!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel catch up and Monica reveals she is not currently dating anyone. Rachel invites Monica to have lunch with her when she is in the city next."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Bye! Monica Geller : Bye! Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life. Ross Geller : No real-, honey, really it's fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye Phoebe Buffay : So what are they doing? Ross Geller : I don't know, something girlie. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you're early. Monica Geller : What are you doing with the lamp? Phoebe Buffay : I'm just taking it to be re-wired. Monica Geller : Oh, well don't take it to the same place you took the stereo, 'cause they've had that thing for over a week.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel have a conversation about a woman they saw at the coffee shop. Monica bets Rachel $10 she won't see her again. Ross agrees with Monica that girls night out is a good idea. Phoebe joins the conversation and reveals she has a lamp to be re-wired."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here. Mr. Heckles : You're disturbing my oboe practice. Phoebe Buffay : You don't play the oboe! Mr. Heckles : I could play the oboe! Phoebe Buffay : Then I'm gonna have to ask you to keep it down. Mr. Heckles : Who are you? Eric (photographer) : Hi, I'm Eric, I'm gonna be Chandler's new roommate. Mr. Heckles : I'm Chandler's new roommate. Eric (photographer) : I-I-I don't think so. Mr. Heckles : I could be Chandler's new roommate.", "summary": "Phoebe and Mr. Heckles have a disagreement over noise levels in their building. Mr. Heckles claims to play the oboe, while Phoebe insists he doesn't. Eric, a photographer, enters the scene and becomes involved in the conflict. Mr. Heckles makes a claim to be Chandler's new roommate, causing confusion among the three characters."}
-{"dialogues": "Eric (photographer) : But, he told me over the phone. Mr. Heckles : He told me in person. Eric (photographer) : That's weird. Mr. Heckles : Well, I'm going to go into my new apartment now. Ehh! Monica Geller : Hi, again. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Thank you soo, much. Chandler Bing : Oh, don't thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work. Monica Geller : You want some help with that?", "summary": "Eric (photographer) discovers that Mr. Heckles told him something different in person than what he said over the phone. Mr. Heckles then leaves to move into his new apartment, only to be greeted by Monica and Joey. Chandler makes a joke about thanking the person who never showed up for help with work."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no thanks, I got it. No I don't! Monica Geller : Whoa! Are you okay? Joey Tribbiani : Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush. Monica Geller : It's the heat. And-and the humidity. Joey Tribbiani : That's a uh, that's a tough combination. Monica Geller : Do you wanna come in for some lemonade? Joey Tribbiani : Like you wouldn't believe. Wow! This is a great place. Monica Geller : Thank you. Just make yourself comfortable. Joey Tribbiani : Gotcha. Monica Geller : This place is really my Grandmother's. I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, I'm 87 year old woman, who's afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani accidentally stood up too quickly and got a head rush, while Monica Geller tries to make him comfortable with lemonade."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you bet I am! Monica Geller : Okay, here's your penis! Monica Geller : Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!! Joey Tribbiani : You said, you wanna come in for some lemonade? Monica Geller : So?! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, ah!! We're you just gonna give me some lemonade? Monica Geller : Yeah huh!! Cover yourself up! Joey Tribbiani : Oh right, right. Monica Geller : I don't believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex? Joey Tribbiani : Well usually...yeah! Well, not just lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice. Well, sorry, I just, I thought you liked me. I'm such a jerk.", "summary": "Monica offers Joey a drink, but he misunderstands and thinks she wants to have sex. He becomes embarrassed when he realizes his mistake."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it. Monica Geller : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Monica Geller : Where's your bed? Phoebe Buffay : It's not in the apartment? Oh no. I can't believe this is happening again. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, enough with the third degree! I-I've, I don't live here anymore. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I-I-I-I don't live here anymore. I-I didn't know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows! Monica Geller : Everybody knows!", "summary": "Monica finds out Phoebe no longer lives in their apartment and becomes curious about why she hasn't been informed earlier."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldn't sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions. Monica Geller : Well, you-you coulda just turned the cushion over. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I would've except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side. Monica Geller : What?!?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is what I'm talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill. Monica Geller : You can spill. In the sink. Phoebe Buffay : Aw, honey it's not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I don't see that happening. Monica Geller : I love you, too. Phoebe Buffay : Aww, good. What? Monica Geller : What? I'm just said.", "summary": "Phoebe's ink stain on the sofa cushion keeps her up for a month. Monica suggests turning the cushion over, but Phoebe has a spaghetti stain on the other side. The two friends argue, leading Phoebe to question whether they can be friends in a tidy household. They reconcile and express their love for each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No you're not, you're wondering which cushion it is. Chandler Bing : So ah, whatcha watching? Joey Tribbiani : Baywatch. Chandler Bing : What's it about? Joey Tribbiani : Lifeguards. Chandler Bing : Well, it sounds kinda stupid... Who's she? Joey Tribbiani : Nicole Eggert. You'll like her. Chandler Bing : Wow! Look at them run. Joey Tribbiani : They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'll go get one.", "summary": "Lifeguards"}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, don't get up, I got a cooler right here. Chandler Bing : Well, hello! Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Do you have any beers? We're out of beers. Monica Geller : Help yourself. Chandler Bing : You okay? Monica Geller : Phoebe moved out. Chandler Bing : Right. Monica Geller : I don't understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I don't have a boyfriend? Chandler Bing : Noo!! You don't have a boyfriend because....I don't, I don't know why you don't have a boyfriend. You should have a boyfriend.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are out of beer and Joey offers to get one for them. Monica asks if Chandler has a boyfriend, and Chandler responds that she doesn't have a boyfriend because...he doesn't know why."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, I think so. Chandler Bing : Oh-ho, come here. Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman I've ever known in real life. Ross Geller : Hi. Where is everybody? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong? Ross Geller : My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Why? Ross Geller : 'Cause Carol's a lesbian. And, and I'm not one. And apparently it's not a mix and match situation. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I don't believe it! Oh, you poor bunny. Ross Geller : I'm an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and I'd be out and she'd, she'd see some beautiful woman, and, and she'd be Ross y'know look at her, and I'd think, God, my wife is cool! Phoebe Buffay : Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?", "summary": "Ross's marriage is in trouble after discovering his wife Carol is a lesbian. He confides in Phoebe who is shocked and tries to help him cope with the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, now I do!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Seven years. I mean we've been together seven years, she's the only woman who's ever loved me, and the only woman I've-I've ever.... Phoebe Buffay : Aw, God Ross. Oh. Chandler Bing : Umm, this is nice. Monica Geller : I know, it is isn't it? Chandler Bing : No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton? Monica Geller : Yeah! And I got it on sale, too. Chandler Bing : Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device. Monica Geller : Well, if you wanna get a drink later we can.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe have been together for seven years, with Phoebe being the only woman who has ever truly loved Ross. They are having a conversation about their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that sounds great. Oh, and listen, it's, it's gonna be.... Monica Geller : I know. Thanks. Ross Geller : Maybe this would've happened if I'd been more nurturing, or I'd paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I can't believe this! Phoebe Buffay : I know no, no, y'know you don't deserve this, you don't Ross. You're, you're really, you're so good. Ross Geller : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : And you're so sweet. And you're kind Ross Geller : Thanks. Ross Geller : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, it's okay.", "summary": "Ross is upset about a situation and blames himself for not being more nurturing or attentive. Phoebe tries to comfort him but he is unconvinced."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Ross Geller : Wait, wait, wait. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : My foot is stuck in the pocket. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : No, I can't get it out. Phoebe Buffay : Well, that's not something a girl wants to hear. Ross Geller : No, come on don't start. Ouch! Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : Stupid balls are in the way.", "summary": "Ross gets his foot stuck in his pants pocket and can't get it out, causing discomfort for both him and Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh well. It probably would've been the most constructive solution. Phoebe Buffay : You have chalk on your face. Ross Geller : Huh? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Ross you're right, I don't know why I always thought this was real grass. Monica Geller : Hey, are you okay? Ross Geller : My wife's a lesbian. Joey Tribbiani : Cool!! Chandler Bing : Ross-Joey, Joey-Ross. Ross Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : I can't believe you came back.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe argue about the most constructive solution to a problem, while Monica checks on Ross after he reveals his wife is a lesbian. Joey reacts with excitement, and Chandler makes a sarcastic comment about Ross' return."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Don't say anything. I don't wanna speak, I don't wanna think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now. Friend No. 2 : Rachel! Rachel! Rachel Green : What? Friend No. 2 : You missed the exit! Rachel Green : Oh, sorry. Friend No. 1 : My God, what were you thinking about? Rachel Green : Um, Barry. Her Friends : Awwww!! Ross Geller : So I told Carl, 'Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur.' But of course this went in one ear and out..... Rachel Green : I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend he's Alan Alda.", "summary": "Rachel wants to be kissed and loved by her friend, but they missed the exit. Ross talks about something he told Carl, but nobody listens."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh good, another dinosaur story. When are those gonna become extinct? Chandler Bing : If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best. Gunther : What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife. Phoebe Buffay : Who's singing? Ross Geller : Hey. When you guys were kids and you played Happy Days, who were you? I was always Richie. Monica Geller : I was always Joanne. Joey Tribbiani : Question. Was ah, 'Egg the Gellers!' the war cry of your neighbourhood? Phoebe Buffay : Ewww! Oh! It's the Mattress King! Joey Tribbiani : Booo!! Chandler Bing : Don't look honey. Change the channel! Change the channel!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses dinosaurs and superheroes, with Chandler wishing he could be invisible and fly. Gunther expresses confusion about Rachel's relationship with Ross, while Phoebe sings and Joey references a childhood game."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine. Matress King : 'Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. I'm so depressed I'm going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! I'm going medieval on prices! Chandler Bing : What a wank! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I cannot believe he's using our divorce to sell mattresses. Monica Geller : I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. And I'm appalled for you by the way. Matress King : I'm close. I'm cheap. I'm the king. Rachel Green : 'Okay. Okay, daddy we'll see you tomorrow night. Okay bye-bye.' Ross Geller : We? Rachel Green : Are ah, having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night, I hope that's okay. Ross Geller : Oh shoot, tomorrow's not so good, I'm supposed to um, fall off the Empire State building and land on a bicycle with no seat. Sorry.", "summary": "Janice is upset about her divorce and tries to use it to sell mattresses. Mattress King takes advantage of the situation by lowering prices. Chandler and Monica are unphased by the divorce and focus on selling mattresses. Rachel has dinner plans with her father and Ross has a dangerous stunt planned for tomorrow night."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, my father doesn't hate you. Ross Geller : Please, he refers to me as 'wethead'. Rachel Green : But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, I'll love you like I do in that black thing that you like. Chandler Bing : I'll go. Ross Geller : Fine. Rachel Green : Thank you. Ross Geller : Hi Gunther. Gunther : Yeah, we'll see! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "Rachel wants Ross to come to dinner so her father can meet and love him like she does. Chandler agrees to go, but Gunther is skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Guess what? Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : I got a gig! #ALL# : Yay!! Chandler Bing : See, that's why I could never be an actor. Because I can't say gig. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I can't say croissant. Oh my God! Monica Geller : What's the part? Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's not a part, no. I'm teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension. Ross Geller : Come on! That's great. #ALL# : Wow!", "summary": "Joey lands an acting gig teaching soap opera acting at the Learning Extension."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. It's like my chance to give something back to the acting community. Ross Geller : Y'know your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students. Joey Tribbiani : I know! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh! I don't know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janice's ex-husband, that's like betraying Chandler. Monica Geller : Not at these prices. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. Woo! Monica Geller : Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy. Phoebe Buffay : Eh, Monica it, it feels so weird, y'know, Chandler's your friend... Oh! Oh my God! Aw, all right take this bed, you can make other friends. Joey Tribbiani : Good evening. I'm Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you don't have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along. Joey Tribbiani : Hi!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani wants to give back to the acting community by teaching a class on soap opera acting, but he's not allowed to sleep with any of his students. Monica Geller finds a bed at a discounted price and feels guilty about betraying Chandler, while Phoebe Buffay is uncomfortable being in the same room as Janice's ex-husband. Joey teaches his class, emphasizing the importance of reacting instead of acting, and some students will have to become more attractive for the role."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ooh! How was teaching last night? Joey Tribbiani : Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, 'Hey, the bell doesn't dismiss you, I dismiss you.' Phoebe Buffay : Ooooh, nice. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yay! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's this great part, this boxer named Nick. And I'm so, so right for it, y'know, he's just like me. Except he's a boxer, and has an evil twin. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Guy : Dom da-da dom! Here ye! Here ye! Delivery from the Mattress King. You Miss Geller? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Guy : Sign here.", "summary": "Joey auditions for a role as a boxer named Nick on \"All My Children,\" while Phoebe teaches and uses clever phrases like \"The bell doesn't dismiss you, I dismiss you.\" Meanwhile, a delivery comes from the Mattress King."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. It's that bedroom there. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so please, please, please, don't say anything to Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : You want me to lie to Chandler? Phoebe Buffay : Is that a problem? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer let's see what you got. All right ya, put 'em up. Come on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're ah, pretty good at this. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men weren't acting Christian enough. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh!", "summary": "Monica buys a bed from Mattress King without telling Chandler, so Phoebe asks Joey to lie to him about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey now! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!!! Oww!! And I'm bleeding. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh! Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, great. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! And I'm a vegetarian! All right, all right, well I'm sorry, we'll put some ice on it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : 'Kay, put your head back. Joey Tribbiani : All right. I can't see. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I have ya. Oh God. Guy : Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?", "summary": "Joey injures himself and Phoebe tends to him while a customer arrives at Central Perk looking for Monica's room."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's the compulsively neat one by the window, okay. Guy : Gotcha. Rachel Green : Hi Daddy! Leonard Green : This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby. Rachel Green : You remember Ross. Leonard Green : Um-hmm. Ross Geller : Nice to see you again Dr. Green. Leonard Green : So! How's the library? Ross Geller : Ugh, museum. Leonard Green : What happened to the library?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel run into Dr. Leonard Green at Central Perk. Leonard is complaining about not being able to find a table in the kitchen, while Rachel greets him as \"Daddy.\" Phoebe enters and teases Leonard about being neat. Ross mentions that he's at the museum instead of the library, which is closed."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one. Leonard Green : You know what's really good here, the lobster. What do you say shall I just order three. Ross Geller : Yeah, if you're really hungry. It was a joke, I made a joke. Rachel Green : Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster. Leonard Green : What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library. Ross Geller : It's not a library... Leonard Green : I know!! It's a museum! What, you're the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. Ross Geller : So, Dr. Green, how's the old boat. Leonard Green : They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat? Ross Geller : It gives it a nice antiquey look.", "summary": "Ross and Leonard go to a seafood restaurant and order lobster. Ross makes a joke about there not being a library, but Leonard misunderstands and thinks he's talking about a museum. They discuss rust and its effects on boats."}
-{"dialogues": "Leonard Green : Rust, is boat cancer, Ross. Ross Geller : Wow. I'm sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. Leonard Green : Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Aw honey stop! It's not that bad. Ross Geller : Yeah. Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad must've added wrong. He only tipped like four percent. Rachel Green : Yeah. That's Daddy. Ross Geller : That's Daddy?! But doesn't it bother you? You're a waitress. Rachel Green : Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, I'd be serving him sneezers.", "summary": "Rust is referred to as \"boat cancer\" by Leonard, who excuses himself to say goodnight to the Levines before leaving. Ross expresses surprise at losing a bike to Rust as a child, and Rachel defends her father's tipping habits despite them being low."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So? Rachel Green : So. Ross, I've bugged him about this a million times, he's not gonna change. Ross Geller : You really serve people sneezers? Rachel Green : Well um, I don't. Leonard Green : You kids ready? Ross Geller : Thanks again, Dr. Green. Leonard Green : All right. Leonard Green : Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I think I forgot my receipt. Ross Geller : Oh, ah, you don't need that. Leonard Green : Why not?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss a personal issue with Dr. Green, while Leonard joins in and forgets his receipt."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : The carbon, it's messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness. Leonard Green : What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, it's a sickness really. Rachel Green : Yeah it is, it is. We really, really have to do something about that. Ross Geller : I know. Leonard Green : Excuse me, you think I'm cheap? Rachel Green : Oh Daddy, no he didn't mean anything by that, he really didn't. Ross Geller : Nothing I do means anything, really. Leonard Green : This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, I'll tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. Ross Geller : Well Mr. Big Shot is better than 'wethead'.", "summary": "Ross has a problem with tipping too much, Leonard accuses him of being cheap, and they argue over dinner bills."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor, so if I'm in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, let's say I wanna convey that I've just done something evil. That would be the basic 'I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it' Okay, let's say I've just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. And that's how it's done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed. Student : Hey, Mr. Trib. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey. Student : Guess what, I got an audition! Joey Tribbiani : Awww, one of my students got an audition. I'm so proud. Student : I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it? Joey Tribbiani : You bet! What's the part? Student : Oh it's great, it's a role on All My Children, Nick the boxer. Rachel Green : You had to do it, didn't you? You couldn't just leave it alone. Ross Geller : Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when there's a bug in my food.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey Tribbiani teaches his student how to act on a soap opera, including using tricks such as pulling on a fake tear and dividing numbers by 13 to convey emotions. The student gets an audition for a role on All My Children, Nick the boxer, but Joey is more interested in teaching his student how to act."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall. Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I'm, I'm freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldn't have! All right, I haven't lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom? Rachel Green : Um. yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I am soo dead. Rachel Green : All right, look, here's the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, I'll invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice. Ross Geller : Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesn't work. Rachel Green : Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but that's why you have got to be the bigger man here. Ross Geller : Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldn't make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say 'Like me! Like me tiny doctor!'", "summary": "Ross and Rachel work to repair their relationship after a disagreement. Phoebe confides in Monica about something she should not have, leading to awkwardness. Monica still turns on her bedroom lights."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, well can't you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me? Ross Geller : Rachel one brunch is not gonna solve anything. You gotta face it, okay we're never gonna get along. Rachel Green : Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I don't wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, okay. I'll get the bagels. Monica Geller : What's this? Phoebe Buffay : Isn't it cool! Varoom! Varoom! Monica Geller : This is not the bed I ordered! Phoebe Buffay : I know, you must've won like a contest or something! Monica Geller : Phoebe! Monica Geller : Why is this car in my bedroom?", "summary": "Rachel tries to convince Ross to give their relationship another chance despite his reservations. They have a heated argument, and Rachel threatens to leave if they can't get along. Meanwhile, Monica receives an unexpected package and Phoebe finds a strange car in her bedroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, okay, I-I wasn't looking, and the store says that they won't take it back because you signed for it... Monica Geller : When did I sign for it? Phoebe Buffay : When I was you! Y'know what, it's all Joey's fault, 'cause he left his nose open! Monica Geller : Did you make brownies today? Chandler Bing : Knock, knock. Monica Geller : Quick, take off your dress, he won't notice the bed. Chandler Bing : Hey, I'm going for sushi does anybody want.. Whoa-whoa, somebody missed the off ramp. Phoebe Buffay : It's Monica's bed. What? Chandler Bing : Okay. It's a racecar. Phoebe Buffay : So. This has always been Monica's bed, what you're just noticing now, how self-involved are you?", "summary": "Monica discovered that Phoebe signed for a package at the store without her knowledge or consent, despite the fact that she did not sign for it. Meanwhile, Chandler and Joey engaged in various misadventures before eventually ending up on Monica's bed."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, well it this bed isn't new, how come there is plastic on the mattress? Monica Geller : Sometimes I have bad dreams. Student : Look, I just saw my best friends brains smeared across the canvas, that's not gonna be me, not me. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! That was good. That was... Tweezers? Student : No. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa. That was really good. Student : Thanks, any suggestions? Chandler Bing : You told him to play the boxer gay!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I-I might've said supergay. Chandler Bing : You totally screwed him over.", "summary": "Monica has a bad dream and there is plastic on her mattress. Joey sees his friend's brains smeared across a canvas, which triggers anxiety for him. Chandler makes a joke about Joey's suggestion to play the \"boxer gay,\" and Joey admits he might have said \"supergay.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey, you're this guy's teacher. I mean how could you do this? Joey Tribbiani : Because, Monica, the guy's so good, and I really, really want this part. Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you really, really want it, then it's okay. Rachel Green : Hi Daddy. Leonard Green : Baby. Ross. Ross Geller : Dr. Green. How are you? Leonard Green : Thanks for dinner last night. Ross Geller : Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson. Leonard Green : Nice hair. What'd ya do? Swim here? Ross Geller : Okay, that's it, I can't take it anymore.", "summary": "A teacher (Joey) helps a student (Leonard) get a part in a play, despite feeling conflicted about it. Phoebe and Rachel offer support, while Ross has dinner with Leonard and teaches him a lesson."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? What? He's interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here. Ross Geller : Oh, please. Sweetie it's hopeless, okay, I'm just gonna go. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Look, look I'm sorry. It's just that.... Leonard Green : Ross? What's with the neck? Rachel Green : He's got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor... Leonard Green : You're still going to that chiropractor, that man couldn't get into medical school in Extapa! Ross Geller : Thank you! That's what I keep saying. Rachel Green : Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor. Ross Geller : Uh.", "summary": "Ross is interested in Rachel but she dismisses him. Leonard makes a comment about Ross's neck and Rachel suggests he see her chiropractor. Ross defends Dr. Bobby, the chiropractor."}
-{"dialogues": "Leonard Green : Wait a minute, his name is Dr. Bobby? Rachel Green : Well that's his last name. Ross Geller : And his first name. Leonard Green : He's Bobby Bobby? Rachel Green : It's Robert Bobby. Leonard Green : Oh. Rachel Green : And um, excuse me, he helps me. Ross Geller : Oh-ho please. Ask her how? Leonard Green : What do you need help for? Rachel Green : With my alignment. I've got one leg shorter than the other.", "summary": "Rachel has an issue with her alignment and seeks help from a doctor named Robert Bobby (not his real name). Leonard is confused by the situation and asks for clarification."}
-{"dialogues": "Leonard Green : Oh God! Ross Geller : Argue with that. Rachel Green : What? It's true, my right leg is two inches shorter. Leonard Green : Come on! You're just titling! Her legs are fine! Ross Geller : I know that! Leonard Green : So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, let her? Ross Geller : What can I do, she doesn't listen to me about renter's insurance either. Leonard Green : Wait a minute, you don't have renter's insurance?! Rachel Green : No.", "summary": "Ross and Leonard argue over Ross's wife Rachel's leg length discrepancy, with Leonard dismissing Rachel's concerns and Ross defending her. The conversation escalates when they discover that Rachel doesn't have renter's insurance."}
-{"dialogues": "Leonard Green : Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?! Ross Geller : Hey, would you ah, would you like some juice? Leonard Green : I'd love some juice. Thanks. Ross Geller : Okay. Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see? Rachel Green : Yeah honey, I'm standing right there! Why didn't you just tell him about the mole I haven't got checked yet. Ross Geller : Excellent! Joey Tribbiani : There will come a time in each of your careers when you'll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And I'm ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, he's got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thank you. Jester : Uh, may I help you? Monica Geller : Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, I'm the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed. Jester : Look, it's like I told you, there's nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.", "summary": "Someone steals something and Ross tries to chase after them with a disability. Rachel offers juice to Leonard, who is having a bad day. Joey has an opportunity to sabotage another actor's career. Monica talks to Jester about a racecar bed she was given."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right, Jester man, look we wanna see the king. Jester : Nobody sees the king! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho-kay, I'm talking to the king. Jester : Hey! You can't go back there! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh my God. Chandler Bing : Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! Hey-hey good lookin'! Varrrrrrrrroom. All right, I'll leave. My bed's so boring. Rachel Green : Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies? Chandler Bing : I will have one. Chandler Bing : Okay, I'm not gonna have one. Ross Geller : Neither will I.", "summary": "The group wants to see the king, but Jester tells them nobody sees the king. Joey tries to talk to the king, but Jester stops him and warns him not to go back there. Janice gasps in shock, Chandler makes a comment about her bed being boring, and Rachel offers homemade brownies to the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, no, it's just my tooth. Chandler Bing : All right I'll have one. Ross Geller : So what's a matter, you need a dentist? I've got a good one. Phoebe Buffay : No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I can't see him. Chandler Bing : See that is the problem with invisible dentists. Ross Geller : Why? Why can't you go to him? Phoebe Buffay : Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies. Chandler Bing : That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienist's blouse. Rachel Green : Phoebe, what? Umm...what?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend 'Albino Bob'.", "summary": "Phoebe can't see her dentist because every time she goes, someone dies."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And all these people actually died? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, while I was in the chair! That's why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, it's not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives! Ross Geller : Pheebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's, it's, it's just ah, a coincidence. Phoebe Buffay : Well tell that to them. Oh! You can't, their dead. Ross Geller : Thanks, Gunther. Hey! Umm, can I get a napkin too? Gunther : Oh, like you don't already have everything. Phoebe Buffay : Ow! Ow! Rachel Green : Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go. Phoebe Buffay : All right, fine, fine, but if you're my next victim, don't come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set. Rachel Green : I promise.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay went to the dentist and caused the deaths of several people while in the chair. She now takes good care of her teeth as a result."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Although, don't feel like you can't visit. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is, is, is Chandler here? Ross Geller : No, no he's not. Monica Geller : You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband. Ross Geller : What? So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not. Rachel Green : Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him. Joey Tribbiani : It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him. Phoebe Buffay : Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill him. Joey Tribbiani : Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. It's like a Play-Doo Fat Factory.", "summary": "Joey sees Janice kissing her ex-husband and considers telling Chandler but decides not to. Phoebe suggests waiting until she goes to the dentist to kill him, while Ross and Rachel encourage Joey to tell Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... Ross Geller : Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display. Joey Tribbiani : What did they do? Ross Geller : Well, they painted over the word 'Sapien' for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, let's just leave it at that. Monica Geller : So, do you want me to watch Ben for you? Ross Geller : Yes, that's what I was going to ask, thank you. Rachel Green : Whoa! Wait! Hello! What about me? Ross Geller : You? You! Want to watch Ben? Yes! That'd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, Ross? Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross has a dentist appointment and warns his friends to watch out for things that could fall on them or them falling into something. Ross then has to go to work for a few hours to fix a display that some kids messed up, including painting over the word \"Sapien\" and rearranging the figures. Monica offers to watch Ben for Ross, and Rachel joins in to ask if she can also watch Ben. Finally, Joey makes a joke about Monica's empty life."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I've got a science question. Ross Geller : Hmm? Joey Tribbiani : If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact 'Homo-sapien', is that why there extinct? Ross Geller : Joey, Homo Sapiens are people. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, I'm not judging. Rachel Green : Look Benny, spoon. Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think he's bored. Monica Geller : Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. We're gonna do something fun. Okay. Weee!! Weee!! Monica Geller : Who's so brave, you're so brave, yes you are, you're so brave. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay honey, he's fine, he's fine, let's just put him down. Come here, Ben. See that's a good boy. How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?! Monica Geller : He's not gonna say anything, because we're not gonna tell him.", "summary": "Homo Sapiens (people) are not extinct despite being referred to as \"Homo-sapien.\" Joey Tribbiani asks Ross Geller about this, but Ross clarifies that Homo Sapiens are actually people. The group then moves on to other topics, including a game of airplane and Ben's bravery. Rachel Green tries to comfort Ben after he is upset, but Monica Geller reveals that they won't tell Ross about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : We're not?! Monica Geller : No we're not. Rachel Green : All right, I like that. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : So we're okay, we're okay, we're okay, aren't we? No, we're not okay, we're not okay, there's a bump, there's a bump. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in! Rachel Green : I cannot push it in! Monica Geller : Okay, we're gonna need a distraction. Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay. Monica Geller : I got it!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are not okay after a bump during a conversation. They try to distract themselves but ultimately cannot push their issues under the rug."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, rweee!! Rachel Green : Or. We could put a hat on his head. Monica Geller : A hat! Yes! We need a hat. Rachel Green : We need a hat.. Monica Geller : Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat? Rachel Green : Oh, oh, oh, I'll get 'Rainy Day Bear'!! Monica Geller : Because he'll know what to do? Oh my God, you're a genius! Rachel Green : Oh God, oh God, it's sowed on though. Monica Geller : Give it. Give it.", "summary": "Ross enters the room and Monica wants Rachel to take him back to her bedroom for unknown purposes. Rachel suggests wearing a hat on Ross's head instead, but they struggle to find a small enough hat. Monica believes Rachel is a genius for suggesting using their stuffed animal \"Rainy Day Bear\" to solve the problem."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh!! Rachel Green : Oh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today. Chandler Bing : Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice? Joey Tribbiani : I'd really prefer a mountain bike. Chandler Bing : Janice's birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum. Chandler Bing : That's a good idea, 'Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday'. I would like to get her something serious. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious. Chandler Bing : All right. Look, I'm gonna go in here, and you don't buy me anything ever.", "summary": "Janice's birthday is coming up, and Chandler wants to get her something special. Joey suggests getting her flowers or candy, but Chandler wants to get her something more serious. Joey then jokes about getting her a barium enema, which Chandler dismisses."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, no, you can't, you can't, okay, you can't, you can't buy her pearls, you just can't, you can't, you can't. Chandler Bing : Why not?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh God. Uh, okay, here's the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is... Chandler Bing : What is the thing? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I went down to the 'Mattress King' showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : They were in his office. Chandler Bing : Well she, she wouldn't do that, she's with, she's with me. Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling you man, I saw it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, you're wrong! Okay, you're wrong.", "summary": "Janice is kissing her ex-husband in his office at the 'Mattress King' showroom, despite being with Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm not wrong! I wish I was. I'm sorry. Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh? Monica Geller : It just makes more sense as an ensemble. Rachel Green : Right. Monica Geller : Besides, it takes the focus off the hat. Phoebe Buffay : No! Oh! You're alive! You're alive! Rachel Green : See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didn't I? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, we'll see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know. Monica Geller : Sure, we have no money, go ahead. Phoebe Buffay : 'Hey! You're not dead! Okay, see ya!' Ben Geller : Monica.", "summary": "Joey wishes he was wrong about something, then talks about a barium enema. Monica says it works better as an ensemble, while Rachel disagrees. Phoebe is excited that Joey is alive, despite previously saying everyone would die. Monica gives Phoebe her phone to call people, and Ben enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that? Ben Geller : Monica bang! Rachel Green : Okay, I heard that. Monica Geller : Did he just say 'Monica bang'? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Oh my God! He's gonna rat me out! Ben Geller : Monica bang! Monica Geller : Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. It's no big deal, it's not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. Ow, Monica bang! Everybody bang. Ben bang. Rachel bang. Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isn't that fun? Rachel Green : Look at that! Look at that! We all do it. Okay, I'm stopping now. Monica Geller : You okay?", "summary": "Monica and Ben say each other's names in excitement, leading to a playful exchange of \"Monica bang\" and \"Ben bang.\" Rachel joins in on the fun, and they all engage in a lighthearted game of saying each other's names."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Y'know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it. Janice Litman Goralnik : How's my Bing-a-ling? Chandler Bing : Ah, I don't know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me. Janice Litman Goralnik : Why are your eyes so white? Chandler Bing : You tell me! Maybe, it's because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh my God!! Chandler Bing : All right! Janice Litman Goralnik : How did you know? Chandler Bing : Joey told me, he saw you two kissing. Janice Litman Goralnik : In the park?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a series of tangential and humorous exchanges between Rachel Green, Janice Litman Goralnik, and Chandler Bing. The group discusses headboards, Bing-a-ling (presumably a game or toy), and Janice's eyes. Chandler makes a joke about his ex kissing someone in the park, leading to Janice revealing that she was indeed the person involved."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No! In his office! How many kisses were there? Janice Litman Goralnik : Just those two! Chandler Bing : Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I'm sorry honey, I'm so, so, haaaaa! I'm so, so sorry, I just haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I-I-I can't breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something? Chandler Bing : Here. Janice Litman Goralnik : The receipt. Chandler Bing : I'll take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? Are you finished with him? Do you still love him? Do you still love me? All right look, I'm gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? Janice Litman Goralnik : I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. If you're alive you answer your phone! Monica Geller : Okay, Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you don't tell about our little bonking incident.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Janice have a confrontation in his office after she admits to kissing someone else. Chandler demands answers and Janice struggles to respond. Meanwhile, Phoebe tries to reach Janice on the phone and Monica threatens to reveal Ben's ice cream dinner secret if he doesn't spill the beans about their own secret."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Monica, number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... What?! Joey Tribbiani : You said number two. Rachel Green : I also said number one. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Ross Geller : Hey! Everyone. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : How's my little boy? Rachel Green : He's perfect, he's never been better. Ross Geller : What'd you do, take him whaling? Ben Geller : Monica.", "summary": "Monica accuses Ben of not understanding bribery and Ben responds by repeating \"number two.\" Rachel adds that she also said number one. Joey and Ross enter the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my God, he just said your name, that's great! Good job Ben. Ben Geller : Monica bang! Monica Geller : Oh that's right, that's what I'd sound like if I exploded. Phoebe Buffay : Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive. Joey Tribbiani : Uh. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big. Rachel Green : Well maybe he's just taking a nap. Joey Tribbiani : I'm tellin' ya, he hasn't moved since this morning.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are married with twins, but things take a turn when Monica starts to date again. Rachel starts dating her coworker, but they break up after he hits on another woman. Joey tries to get back together with his ex-girlfriend, but she rejects him. Phoebe has a curse that causes anyone she hugs to die, so she tries to keep everyone away from her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, we should call somebody. Ross Geller : And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isn't moving. Rachel Green : Well, we have gotta find out if he's alive. Monica Geller : How are we gonna do that? There's no way. Joey Tribbiani : Well, there is one way. His window's open, I say, we poke him. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Y'know how we ah, save all those chopsticks for no reason we get when we get Chinese food? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Well, now we got a reason. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we're fashioning a very long poking device.", "summary": "The group discovers a naked man they stare at regularly is not moving and decides to investigate his well-being. They consider poking him through his open window with chopsticks before changing their minds."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, what's a matter? Chandler Bing : I talked to Janice. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, is she going back to him? Chandler Bing : She doesn't know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the reciept! Joey Tribbiani : What are you ah, what are you gonna do? Chandler Bing : I don't know, y'know. What, what, would you do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, it doesn't matter what I would do. Chandler Bing : Come on, tell me. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you're probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, I would ah, I would bow out.", "summary": "Janice loves both Chandler and Joey, but doesn't know what to do. Chandler woke up in love that morning, but can't return a 12-pack of condoms due to Janice choking on the receipt. Joey suggests bowing out of the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? What are you, what are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : They have a kid together, y'know. They're like, they're like a family, and if, I don't know, there's chance they could make that work, I know I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy? Ross Geller : Well, he's finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head? Rachel Green : Are you, are you, are you sure it's ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child. Ross Geller : It's okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could. Rachel Green : I did! Ross Geller : I know! I'm saying you have to watch them all the time. Rachel Green : I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing! Ross Geller : Monica did it? Ross Geller : Monica?", "summary": "Monica and Ben have a child together, and Joey doesn't want to be the one to stand in their way if they want to make it work. Ross discovers that Ben has a bump on his head, and Rachel thinks it's a new injury but reminds everyone that Ben has always had a lot of bumps on his head due to Monica's babysitting."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today? Monica Geller : No. Why? Ross Geller : Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly he's leaving out 'e' and 'f.' It's like they just ah, I don't know, fell out of his head. Monica Geller : Really?! Ross Geller : Oh, and also, he's, he's walkin' kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and he's in there just sort of y'know... Monica Geller : Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! Rachel Green : I hope it's still funny when you're in hell. Monica Geller : You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! Ross Geller : Monica bang! Monica bang! Ow!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Ross notices Ben acting strangely and becomes concerned for his cognitive abilities."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'll get the hat. Chandler Bing : Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because it's, it's, it's not gonna be easy. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay. Chandler Bing : I think you should go back with Gary. I don't wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know 'You're the reason, you are the reason why their not together.' and I hated that guy. And it didn't matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad. Janice Litman Goralnik : Wow! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well. It's the right thing to do. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! You're right. Oh God. But, before I can say 'good-bye', there's something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, it's like, I finally understand what Lionel Richie's been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, it's like movie love, you're my soulmate, and I can't believe we're not going to be spending the rest of our lives together. Chandler Bing : Then don't leave me! Janice Litman Goralnik : What? Chandler Bing : Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!", "summary": "Chandler confesses to Janice that he thinks she should go back with her husband Gary. He doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up a family, as his parents split up due to another man's actions. Janice is surprised and emotional about Chandler's revelation, expressing her deep feelings for him before abruptly changing her mind and begging him not to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : No, you were right, you were right. I mean, I-I-I've got to give my marriage another chance. Chandler Bing : No you don't! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance. Janice Litman Goralnik : I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Ohhh. Don't go. Janice Litman Goralnik : No, I-I-I gotta go. Chandler Bing : No. No! No! No! Janice Litman Goralnik : Honey, honey, people are looking. Chandler Bing : I don't care! I don't care!! Janice Litman Goralnik : Yeah, um, I'm, I'm leaving now. Chandler Bing : You can't leave! I have your shoe!", "summary": "Janice wants to give her marriage another chance, but Chandler disagrees and tries to convince her to stay. Janice insists on leaving, and Chandler refuses to let go of her shoe."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Good-bye Chandler Bing. Gunther : Rachel has those in burgendy. Joey Tribbiani : All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area. Ross Geller : Can we please focus here, a naked man's life hangs in the balance! Phoebe Buffay : I'm telling you he's dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick. Joey Tribbiani : All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's poke. Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, we're approaching the window Thread the needle. Thread the needle. Phoebe Buffay : He's alive! He's a-live!!! Monica Geller : And yet, we're still poking him. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, retract the device, retract the device. Ross Geller : He does not look happy.", "summary": "A naked man is hung on a stick and poked by a group of people, including Joey Tribbiani and Phoebe Buffay. The man is eventually revealed to be alive, much to everyone's surprise."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey-hey, now he's showing us his poking device. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy! Chandler Bing : I'll hold you close in my arms. I can't resist your charms. And love.... Phoebe Buffay : Love.... Chandler Bing : I'll be a fool for you. I'm sure, you know I don't mind. Chandler Bing : No you know I don't mind. Chandler Bing : Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh... Chandler Bing : I know. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Chandler Bing : I've found.", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe find each other romantically attractive despite their initial reluctance, while Joey tries to prevent a device from reaching them."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I've found.... Chandler Bing : ...in you, my endless love. My endless love. The Guys : Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Awww! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, it's your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help. The Guys : We will. Monica Geller : Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles. Rachel Green : No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this. Monica Geller : Every year. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, for once, I am going to sit down and try to watch one of these things. . Ross Geller : Halftime.", "summary": "Phoebe finds Chandler's love in her, the guys are excited, Monica helps Rachel with Thanksgiving preparations, and Phoebe tries to watch football for once."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going? Rachel Green : Oh! That would be sooo much fun! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, can I play too? I've never played football, like ever. Joey Tribbiani : Great, you can cover Chandler. Chandler Bing : No, no, no, I don't, I don't really wanna play. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man! You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up. Chandler Bing : That's not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don't say that I don't have goals! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe it'll take your mind off Janice, and if you don't play, everyone will be mad at you 'cause the teams won't be even. Come on. Chandler Bing : Yeah, all right, I'll play. Phoebe Buffay : Yay!!", "summary": "Joey invites the group to play a game of three on three basketball, with Chandler reluctantly agreeing to join despite not wanting to do anything since his break-up with Janice."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Let's do it! Ross? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Do you wanna play football? Ross Geller : Um, Monica and I aren't supposed to play football. Joey Tribbiani : Says who? Your mom? Monica Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Well, every, every Thanksgiving um, we used to have a touch football game called the 'Geller Bowl.' Chandler Bing : No, no, no, you say that proudly. Monica Geller : Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kind've competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Ross's nose. Ross Geller : It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.", "summary": "Ross and Monica used to have a touch football game called the \"Geller Bowl\" every Thanksgiving, where they were always the captains and it got competitive. One year, Monica accidentally broke Ross's nose during the game."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : To score the winning touchdown, by the way. Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, you did not win the game, the touchdown didn't count, because of the spectacularly illegal, oh and by the way savage nose breaking. Monica Geller : I won the game. Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Then how come you didn't get the Geller Cup? Rachel Green : Um, there was a Geller Cup? Ross Geller : Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, 'nobody won that game, ' and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... threw it in the lake. Chandler Bing : And was the curse lifted? Ross Geller : Anyway. That's when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again. Monica Geller : Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, it's been twelve years. Ross Geller : Can I see you for a second?", "summary": "Monica won the game but didn't get the trophy because their dad threw it in the lake after they started fighting. They haven't played football in 12 years due to a curse."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Once!! Ross Geller : All right, we're gonna play. Chandler Bing : But wait a minute though, how are we gonna get there, though, because my Mom won't let me cross the street. Monica Geller : Okay. Let's bring it in. Rachel Green : Wait no, honey, honey throw it to me, throw it to me. Ross Geller : Here you go. Rachel Green : That almost hit me in the face. Joey Tribbiani : All right, we have to pick captains. Chandler Bing : And then Tineals. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so how do we decide that?", "summary": "Monica and Ross plan a trip with Rachel, Joey, and Chandler, but Chandler's mom won't let him cross the street. They try to find a way around this, but then they have to decide who will be captains in a game."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, why don't we just bunny up. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Bunny! Monica Geller : Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Rachel Green : Monica, I'm your best friend. Ross Geller : Sweetie, don't worry you'll get picked. Chandler. Rachel Green : Ross! Monica Geller : Phoebe. Ross Geller : Sweetie, now I pick you.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are playing a game where they bunny (choose) other players to be on their team. Monica chooses Joey, then Ross tries to comfort Rachel by telling her she'll be picked next. However, Chandler intervenes and picks Rachel instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You don't pick me! You're stuck with me! Ross Geller : Okay. All right. So let's see, let's play from the trash can, to the lightpost. Right. Two hand touch, we'll kick off. Monica Geller : All right people listen, I've got exactly twenty-eight minutes before I have to baste again. Chandler Bing : Wow! Just like in the pros. Monica Geller : Huddle up. Joey Tribbiani : All right, huddle up, right over here. Phoebe Buffay : Wait for me! Wait for me! Wait for me! Oh cool, this is my first huddle. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so what do you guys really think of Chandler? Monica Geller : Okay, Phoebe you know what you're doing right?", "summary": "Ross, Rachel, and Monica are playing a game of touch football in the park. Joey and Chandler join them, and Phoebe starts asking about Chandler's personality."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Okay, Joey's gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block. Phoebe Buffay : What's block? Monica Geller : Phoebe, I thought you said you know what you're doing? Phoebe Buffay : I thought you meant in life. Monica Geller : Break. Chandler Bing : The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. Ross Geller : Oww!! Son of a...!! Ow! Come on! Chandler Bing : Sorry. I'm sorry. Y'know what, we're just gonna throw it. Joey Tribbiani : I got it.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe plan to block while Joey tries to catch a ball. Chandler accidentally hits Ross with the ball."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Go! Go! Go! Monica Geller : Score!! 7 to nothing! Rachel Green : Are you okay? Ross Geller : Come on, let's go! Monica Geller : Losers walk! Ross Geller : Yeah, losers talk! Chandler Bing : No, no, no, actually losers rhyme. Chandler Bing : Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! You wanna go shotgun? Ross Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Hike!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over a game of football; Monica brags about her team's lead; Chandler rhymes and jokes."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : One-Mississippi. Two-Mississippi. Three-Mississippi. Rachel Green : Over here! Rachel Green : I almost caught that one! Chandler Bing : Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7. Ross Geller : Okay, this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break! Rachel Green : Wait, what am I gonna do? Ross Geller : You, you go long. Rachel Green : Wait, how long? Ross Geller : Until we start to look very small. Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A group of friends play a game of catch where one person tries to tag the other with a ball while they are running."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Break!! Joey Tribbiani : Set....hike! Ross Geller : One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, switch! Switch! Switch!! Chandler Bing : No, no, no, no, no! Joey Tribbiani : Haaaaa! Hey-hey, thanks for stopping our ball. Woman : You are playing American football? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Wow, your like from a whole other country. Woman : I'm Dutch. Joey Tribbiani : Hi-hi, I'm Joey. Woman : I'm Margha.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are playing a game of American football when they accidentally knock over a woman who is from the Netherlands."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry Dutch, I didn't get that last little bit. Chandler Bing : Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. Hi, I'm Chandler. Margha : Hello, Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Her name is Dutch, and also Marklan. Margha : Margha. Joey Tribbiani : Mar-klan. Margha : Mar-gha. Chandler Bing : Mar-haaaan. Monica Geller : Come on guys! Let's go! Come on, it's second down. Ross Geller : Uh, hello, it's third down.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing are talking about playing football or something else. Margha arrives and they introduce themselves. Joey keeps mispronouncing Margha's name, while Chandler consistently pronounces it incorrectly as well. Monica Geller interrupts to remind them that it's second down in a game of football. Ross Geller then corrects Monica, saying it's actually third down."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No it's not, it's second. Ross Geller : Wow! Monica Geller : Wow, what? Ross Geller : It just amazes me that your still pulling stuff like this. Monica Geller : Pulling what? It's second down. Ross Geller : Okay, it's second down. Take all the second downs you need. Monica Geller : I heard that! Ross Geller : Well, I said it loud. Margha : It is okay, if I stay and watch? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Why don't you stick around. You can sit right there.", "summary": "Ross is amazed that Monica still makes mistakes, like thinking second is down when it's actually up. Margha wants to stay and watch, so Chandler invites her to sit with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, that went well. Joey Tribbiani : I think so. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I was thinking about ah, asking her for her number. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know. Chandler Bing : Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, that. All right, means that much to ya, I'll let you have her. Chandler Bing : Thanks. What, let me have her?! What do mean? Like if you didn't I wouldn't have a shot? Joey Tribbiani : Well I don't like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Don't feel bad man, we all have our strengths. You're better with numbers and stuff. Chandler Bing : Math!! You're giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, we'll see who gets her. Ross Geller : Chandler, I want you to run a post pattern to the left, okay. And sweetie..", "summary": "Chandler wants to ask a woman for her number but is hesitant. Joey suggests he should ask for it himself instead. Chandler and Joey have different approaches to getting over past relationships."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I know, go long. Y'know, it's like all I'm doing is running back and forth from the huddle. Ross Geller : Well ah, you wanna just stay out there? Rachel Green : Can I see that for second. Ross Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay. Hut! Hike! Joey Tribbiani : Fumble! Joey Tribbiani : What the hell's the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey. Chandler Bing : Well now you have two. Hey, I am good at math. Joey Tribbiani : All right, that's it. Y'know I was still gonna let you have her. But now, forget about it. Prepare to feel very bad about yourself. Chandler Bing : Hey! Well, I've been preparing for that my entire life! Or something about you that's mean!", "summary": "Rachel runs back and forth in a huddle while Ross suggests she stay out there. Joey fumbles the ball and ruins his favorite jersey. Chandler mentions he is good at math, and Joey vows to make him feel bad about himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, come on guys, let's go! Tie score, and we're runnin' out of time. Forty-two!! Thirty-eight!! Hike! Phoebe Buffay : Oh I got it!! Oh! Ew! Broken boob! Ow! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, run! Monica Geller : Run, Phoebe, run! Phoebe Buffay : Touchdown!! Touchdown!! Ross Geller : Uh, hello, the buzzer buzzed. It doesn't count. Monica Geller : After the snap! Ross Geller : Before the snap! Joey Tribbiani : After!! Chandler Bing : Before!!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are in a trivia competition with Ross and Joey. Monica urges them to hurry up as the score is tied and time is running out. Phoebe makes a wrong answer and injures herself, causing Panicked cries. Joey yells \"run\" while Ross argues that the buzzer didn't count their answer."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Now, does it really matter? #ALL# : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : Well, okay, I made a touchdown. It was my first touchdown. So? Ross Geller : Oh Pheebs, that's great. It doesn't count. Monica Geller : Does so count! Ross Geller : Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Y'know what, that's fine, maybe you haven't grown up, but I have. Ross Geller : Oh-ho, okay. Monica Geller : Dead leg!!", "summary": "Rachel questions the importance of Phoebe's first touchdown, while Ross dismisses her achievement and insults her. Monica defends Phoebe, but Ross continues to belittle her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win. Phoebe Buffay : Woo-yay!! Monica Geller : No! Listen, I'm not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you can't blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Let's just call this, tie score and it's halftime. Ross Geller : Okay, first of all, I don't play with cheaters, and second of all, you know I had swollen glands!! Monica Geller : Y'know what? I'll think you'll play. Ross Geller : Oh really! Why is that? Monica Geller : Because the winner gets this! Ross Geller : The Geller Cup. Chandler Bing : Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four? #ALL# : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe engage in an intense game of touchdown, with Ross using various excuses to try and win. Monica interrupts, stating she's had enough of their childish games and offers a tie score. Ross refuses, insisting he will only play with people who don't cheat. Phoebe reveals the winner of the game will receive the Geller Cup, leading Chandler to question everyone else's sanity."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, good. Ross Geller : Okay, where in the hell did you get that?! Monica Geller : When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out. Ross Geller : That cup is mine! Monica Geller : No it's not! You want it, you're gonna have to win it! Rachel Green : All right, so are we not having dinner at all? Monica Geller : Come on Phoebe, let's go! Come on, it's time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game. Joey Tribbiani : It's hard, y'know, his huddle is closer to Dutch girl. Monica Geller : All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus? Joey Tribbiani : What are you gonna do?", "summary": "Ross and Monica argue over a cup; Rachel suggests not having dinner; Phoebe joins in on the argument; Joey has trouble focusing due to Chandler's huddle being too close to a Dutch girl."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, I'll take care of the rest. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Break! Joey Tribbiani : Here you go! Ross Geller : Chandler! Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Whoa! Whoa!! Tackled by a girl! Bet ya don't see that everyday, do ya? Ross Geller : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's with the tackling? Monica Geller : What?! I just touched him and he went over. Ross Geller : Okay, you wanna play rough, we can play rough.", "summary": "Monica tries to get Joey to catch a ball, but he fails. Chandler gets tackled by a girl."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I love this game!! Ross Geller : Hey, where'd you get that? Rachel Green : I went really long. Monica Geller : Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done! Ross Geller : It's no surprise that your winning, 'cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team. Monica Geller : You're so pathetic! Why can't you just accept it, we're winning because I'm better than you. Monica Geller : Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, I'll prove it to you, okay. I'll trade you Joey for Rachel, and I'll still win the game. Ross Geller : What?! The guys against the girls? See, that's ridiculous Monica, because I'm only down by three touchdowns. Monica Geller : Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls. Ross Geller : Fine, fine, Rachel your with Monica, Joey you're with me.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are winning in a game, while Ross and Joey are losing. Monica argues that she's better than Ross and Joey, and offers to trade Rachel for Joey. Ross is hesitant but Monica insists, leading to an all-girl team against the guys."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I can not believe your trading me!! Monica Geller : Come on Rach, come on. Let's see what's it like to be on a winning team for a change. Rachel Green : Are you gonna let me play? Monica Geller : All right then. Margha : The game is over, we eat now? Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, the game's not over, we're just switching teams. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Chandler finds me so intimdating that it's better if we're on the same team. Ross Geller : Right. Okay, let's play. Let's go. Chandler Bing : No ah, hold on a second Joe, where do Dutch people come from? Joey Tribbiani : Ah well, the ah, Pennsylvania Dutch, come from Pennsylvania.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica switch teams in a game, while Chandler and Joey argue over who is more intimidating. Ross joins in the game and tries to lead his team to victory."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right? Joey Tribbiani : Nice try. See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from. Margha : Oh, my. Ross Geller : Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Let's play some ball, guys. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, no, no, I-I'm not playing with this guy, now. Chandler Bing : Fine with me. Ross Geller : Okay, y'know what, let's just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like? Chandler Bing : What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Margha : Which do I like? Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know for dating, general merriment, taking back to your windmill...", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a discussion about geography and the Netherlands, with Joey Tribbiani providing a humorous take on the subject. Chandler Bing and Ross Geller then shift their attention to dating and Heidi, with Chandler expressing confusion and discomfort at the topic. Margha adds her thoughts, but the conversation continues to be absurd and nonsensical."}
-{"dialogues": "Margha : Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Yes!! Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didn't understand the question. Chandler Bing : Well, you don't you have Captain Hook explain it to her. Margha : I'm sorry, Joey, that is my chose. Chandler Bing : You hear that! That is her chose, mister I'll let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! Margha : I'm now thinking I would like to change my answer to, no one. Chandler Bing : Wh-what? Margha : I now find you shallow and um, a dork. All right, bye. Joey Tribbiani : Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.", "summary": "Margha chooses Chandler, but then changes her mind and says she wants no one."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Y'know what, it doesn't matter, 'cause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook! Ross Geller : Save the breakthroughs for therapy, okay. The clock is ticking. We have no time, and we are losing, we are losing to girls. Chandler Bing : We're not gonna lose to girls. Ross Geller : Hey! It's 42-21! Joey Tribbiani : This sucks, I was just up by that much! Monica Geller : Are we playing football or what? Come on you hairy-backed Marries. Monica Geller : We have to do this. We are playing for women everywhere. Okay, just think about every lousy date that you ever had, okay, every guy who kept on the TV while you're making out... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! You dated someone with a glass eye too?! Monica Geller : Come on, okay, come on this is for all womankind. Let's kill 'um! Rachel Green : Yeah!!! Kill 'um!!!", "summary": "The group of friends are competing in a game, with Chandler and Ross arguing over who will get to watch a TV show on Saturday nights. Monica joins in, saying they are playing for women everywhere and lists various unfortunate dating experiences. Phoebe chimes in with a personal anecdote about someone with a glass eye. The group becomes more determined to win the game."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys? Monica Geller : All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and we're down by two points. Two points.... Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long. Rachel Green : No! Come on! Don't make me go long. Use me. They never cover me. Monica Geller : Honey, there's a reason. Rachel Green : God, I'm not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too. Phoebe Buffay : Come on Mon, let her throw the ball. Monica Geller : All right Rachel, you sweep behind, I'll pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break. Rachel Green : Thank you! Break! Monica Geller : Thirty-two! Seventy-one! Hike! The Guys : One-Mississippi! Two-Mississippi! Three-Mississippi!", "summary": "The friends are playing a game of flag football and are down by two points with only a minute and a half left to play. Phoebe suggests killing the opposing team's boys, but Monica reminds her they have to use their skills to win. Rachel offers to throw the ball, despite never being covered, and Monica agrees to let her try."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Monica Geller : No! I'm not okay! Rachel Green : I'm sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didn't know what to do. Joey Tribbiani : Thirty seconds left on the timer! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, so we get to take that stupid troll thing home! Monica Geller : Come on! Come on! Hurry! We're running out of time! Huddle up! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oooh! Oh, this is our last huddle, yeah. Monica Geller : All right, Phoebe get open. Rachel, go long. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Break!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are in a heated argument when Joey yells \"Thirty seconds left on the timer!\" Chandler tries to distract them by suggesting they take home a silly troll doll, but Monica is more focused on winning the game. Phoebe joins in, urging Monica to get open and Rachel to go long. Despite their efforts, the team is ultimately defeated as time runs out."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I got a touchdown! We did it!! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey-hey Rachel, funny thing. Actually, the ah, end zone starts at that pole, so you're five feet short, so we win! Phoebe Buffay : Wait-wait-wait-wait! So, explain something to me though, if, if nobody tagged Rachel, then isn't the play still going. Ross Geller : Let go! Let go! Monica Geller : Let go! I'm a tiny little woman!! Chandler Bing : Guys! Guys! Come on! It's Thanksgiving, it's not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!! Monica Geller : Ow!! Rachel Green : We should defiantly play football more often. Maybe there's a like league we could join or something. Phoebe Buffay : Isn't there a national football league. Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes, there is, they play on Sundays and Monday nights.", "summary": "The group plays a game of touchdown tag, but Chandler rules that Rachel is five feet short and declares them winners. They argue about whether or not the play should continue without a winner, but ultimately decide to just enjoy Thanksgiving together."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh shoot! I work Monday nights. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, this stuffing is amazing. Do you think we should bring them some? Joey Tribbiani : When they're hungry enough, they'll come in. Monica Geller : Let go! Ross Geller : No! You let go! Monica Geller : No! Ross Geller : How come it's always us left in the field holding the ball? Monica Geller : I don't know. I guess the other people just don't care enough. Ross Geller : Hey! It's starting to snow. Ross Geller : Gimme the this!", "summary": "Ross and Monica are at a dinner party with Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel when they notice that their guests are not eating enough food. They argue about who will go get more food, while Monica becomes frustrated with Ross for always being left to handle things. Meanwhile, it starts snowing outside."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Let go! Chandler Bing : Eh..., I don't, I don't know. Rachel Green : What? Chandler Bing : Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing? Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Gunther : Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress? Rachel Green : Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new? Gunther : Good one. Actually, ah, Terry wants you to take the training again, whenever. Rachel Green : Eh, do you believe that?", "summary": "Rachel Green is asked to retrain as a waitress after two weeks of training with another waitress."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah? Sarah Tuttle : So that's two boxes of the Holiday Macaroons. On behalf of the Brown Birds of America, I salute you. Ross Geller : Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand. Chandler Bing : Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand. Ross Geller : Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand. Chandler Bing : I was shrieking... like a Marine. Ross Geller : All right here. Watch me execute the three 'P's of championship play. Power. Precision. and penache. Monica Geller : You broke a little girl's leg?!! Ross Geller : I know. I feel horrible. Okay. Chandler Bing : Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. Where exactly were around ten-ish?", "summary": "A conversation ensues between Chandler Bing, Sarah Tuttle, Ross Geller, and Monica Geller regarding a box of holiday macaroons, with Chandler claiming to have a solid backhand despite shrieking like a girl. The group then discusses a muppet getting hit on Sesame Street and the time of the incident."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think she'll like? Monica Geller : Maybe a Hello Kitty doll, the ability to walk... Rachel Green : I'm gonna get back to retraining. Ross Geller : All right, see you guys. Chandler Bing : Look out kids, he's coming! Joey Tribbiani : And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees. Phoebe Buffay : Have fun. Oh wait, no, don't! I forgot I am totally against that now. Joey Tribbiani : What? Me having a job? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. Hey, how do you sleep at night? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.", "summary": "Ross wants to bring a gift to his ex-wife, Monica suggests a Hello Kitty doll or the ability for her to walk again. Meanwhile, Joey sells Christmas trees and Phoebe is against cutting down innocent trees."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Really? Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's the only chance to see New York. Gunther : ...and after you've delivered the drinks, you take the empty tray.... Rachel Green : Gunther, Gunther, please, I've worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. Gunther : What if you put them here. Rachel Green : Huh. Well, y'know that's actually a really good idea, because that way they'll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too. Gunther : They already do. That's why they call it the 'tray spot.' Rachel Green : Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, I'm, I'm sorry. Gunther : It's all right. Sweetheart. Ross Geller : So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, don't have to sell those cookies anymore.", "summary": "Rachel suggests reorganizing the empty trays in Central Perk to make them easier for the waitresses to access. Gunther explains that this is already being done and called \"the tray spot.\" Ross talks to Phoebe about how she's enjoying her days off from school without having to sell cookies."}
-{"dialogues": "Sarah Tuttle : Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle. Ross Geller : Wow, you ah, you really like all this space stuff, huh? Sarah Tuttle : Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, he'd be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal. Ross Geller : I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India. Sarah Tuttle : No. The one in Atlantic City, Dad loves the slots. He says he's gonna double the college money my Grandma left me. Ross Geller : Huh. Well, good luck to Dad. Say, how many more boxes would you have to sell in order to win? Sarah Tuttle : The girl who won last year sold four hundred and seventy-five. Ross Geller : Yeah. Sarah Tuttle : So far, I've sold seventy-five. Ross Geller : Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. How much are the boxes?", "summary": "Sarah wants to sell cookies to win a trip to Spacecamp and sit in a real space shuttle. Her father says she needs to spend more time helping him clean apartments to afford the trip, but Sarah dreams of going to India instead. Ross thinks it's doable to sell four hundred boxes to win, and Sarah has already sold seventy-five so far."}
-{"dialogues": "Sarah Tuttle : Five dollars a box. Ross Geller : And what is second prize? Sarah Tuttle : A ten speed bike. But, I'd rather have something my Dad couldn't sell. Ross Geller : Well, that makes sense. Sarah Tuttle : Could you do me one favor, if it's not too much trouble? Ross Geller : Yeah, Sarah, anything. Sarah Tuttle : Could you pull open the curtains for me? The astronauts from the space shuttle are gonna be on the news, and since we don't have a TV, the lady across the alley said she'd push hers up to a window, so I could watch it. Woman : Yesss? Ross Geller : Hi, I'm selling Brown Bird cookies. Woman : You're no Brown Bird, I can see you through my peephole.", "summary": "Sarah Tuttle wants to watch a news report about astronauts on TV but doesn't have one, so she asks Ross Geller for help. Ross tries to sell him Brown Bird cookies. While talking, Sarah mentions that she would rather have something her father couldn't sell."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, hi, I'm, I'm an honorary Brown Bird Woman : What does that mean? Ross Geller : Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but I'm not invited to sleep-overs. Woman : I can dial 9-1-1 at the touch of a button, y'know. Now, go away! Ross Geller : No, please, please, um, it's for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world. Woman : I'm pressing, a policeman is on his way. Ross Geller : Okay, okay! I'm going. I'm going. Woman : I can still see you! Ross Geller : All right!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey.", "summary": "Ross attempts to sell cookies but is not invited to sleepovers. A woman can call 911 with ease and rejects Ross's request for help. Phoebe enters the conversation unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey. What, what are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, oh, but oh... Joey Tribbiani : Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas.... Phoebe Buffay : Destiny. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Yikes! That one doesn't look very fulfilled. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's, that's ah, one of the old ones, he's just taking it to the back. Phoebe Buffay : You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Phoebe Buffay and Joey Tribbiani discussing Christmas trees and their fulfillment of destiny. They initially have differing opinions on the matter, but eventually come to a compromise."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well we have to make room for the fresh ones. Phoebe Buffay : So, what happens to the old guys? Joey Tribbiani : Well, they go into the chipper. Phoebe Buffay : Why, do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds? No! Nooooo!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey!! Ross Geller : ...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll take a box of the cream filled Jesus's. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, one box! Come on, I'm trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, I'm putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you? Chandler Bing : Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities? Ross Geller : No, but ah, there's coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, I'll put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang goes to a holiday party at Central Perk where they buy Christmas cookies in the shapes of their favorite characters. Phoebe and Joey argue over whether or not the old cookies are thrown away, while Ross buys a large number of boxes for various reasons. Chandler is interested in coconut-flavored deities, but none are available."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Mon? Monica Geller : All right, I'll take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and that's it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all? Ross Geller : Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know I'm sure that's not gonna happen this time, why don't I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolph's. Monica Geller : No. Ross Geller : Oh, come on, now you know you want 'em. Monica Geller : Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't do this. Ross Geller : I'll tell you what Mon, I'll give you the first box for free. Monica Geller : Oh God! I gotta go! Ross Geller : Come on! All the cool kids are eating 'em! Gunther : And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Monica to buy mint treats from him, but she resistst. Later, Ross offers to give her the first box for free, but Monica has to leave. Gunther enters the conversation and makes a spider-related comment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks. Joey Tribbiani : Look Rach, wasn't this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff? Rachel Green : Well, yeah! I'm still pursuing that. Chandler Bing : How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago? Rachel Green : Well, I'm also sending out.... good thoughts. Joey Tribbiani : If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you've got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear. Rachel Green : The fear? Chandler Bing : He's right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want. Rachel Green : Well then how come you're still at a job that you hate, I mean why don't you quit and get 'the fear'? Chandler Bing : Because, I'm too afraid.", "summary": "Rachel Green is training to do a job she hates, while still pursuing her dreams in fashion. Joey Tribbiani suggests that the fear of not having a job can motivate Rachel to pursue her true desires. However, Chandler Bing is afraid to quit his job and faces his own struggles with motivation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just don't want to be 30 and still work here. Chandler Bing : Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28, and still working here. Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Gunther : Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular. Rachel Green : Can't I just look at the handles on them? Gunther : You would think. Rachel Green : Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why I'm a terrible waitress? Because, I don't care. I don't care. I don't care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I don't care where the tray spot is, I just don't care, this is not what I want to do. So I don't think I should do it anymore. I'm gonna give you my weeks notice. Gunther : What?! Rachel Green : Gunther, I quit.", "summary": "Rachel Green wants to leave her job as a waitress at Central Perk because she doesn't care about it and wants to work in a more creative field, such as designing or buying. She gives notice to Gunther, who is shocked and upset by her decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Does this mean we're gonna have to start paying for coffee? Ross Geller : ....and 12, 22, 18, four... What? Chandler Bing : I spelled out boobies. Monica Geller : Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures? Ross Geller : Ah, we're out. I sold them all. Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Monica, I'm cutting you off. Monica Geller : No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-it's no big deal, all right, I'm-I'm cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes! Ross Geller : Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck. Monica Geller : Oh God!", "summary": "Ross and Monica argue over boxes of mint treats, with Ross selling them all and Monica wanting more."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So, how many have you sold so far? Ross Geller : Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes! Chandler Bing : Oh my God, how did you do that? Ross Geller : Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as 'Laser Floyd' was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! That's when it occurred to me, the key to my success, 'The Munchies.' So I ah, started hitting the new dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me 'Cookie Dude!' Rachel Green : Okay, stop what you're doing, I need envelope stuffers, I need stamp lickers..... Ross Geller : Well hey, who did these resumes for ya? Chandler Bing : Me! On my computer. Ross Geller : Well you sure used a large font. Chandler Bing : Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room. Rachel Green : Hey-hey-hey that's funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!", "summary": "Ross sells 517 boxes of cookies while using the name \"Cookie Dude\" at college dorms around midnight. Chandler helps Rachel with envelope stuffers and resumes on his computer, using a large font for limited information."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Something else I might have said? Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know, weren't you the guy that told me to quit my job when I had absolutely nothing else to do. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!! Ross Geller : Sweetie, calm down, it's gonna be okay. Rachel Green : No, it's not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I don't have a lead. Okay, y'know what, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna call Gunther and I'm gonna tell him, I'm not quitting. Chandler Bing : You-you-you don't wanna give into the fear. Rachel Green : You and your stupid fear. I hate your fear. I would like to take you and your fear.... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I got great news! Chandler Bing : Run, Joey! Run for your life! Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel, listen, have you ever heard of Fortunata Fashions? Rachel Green : No.", "summary": "Rachel is leaving her job and is anxious about it. Chandler tries to convince her not to give in to her fear. Ross tries to calm her down, but she is upset. Joey has good news about a fashion company."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Not a problem. Rachel Green : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : And now for the great news. Ross Geller : What, that wasn't the great news? Joey Tribbiani : Only if you think it's better than this... snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie. Monica Geller : Christmas cookie? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now it's a little more money, but you get a nicer smell. Guy : Looks good. I'll take it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at Central Perk when Joey arrives with some Christmas decorations he wants to sell. Joey offers to help Rachel get an interview for a job at the same company where his father is working on a plumbing job. Monica enters and agrees to help decorate the window with Christmas cookies."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you don't want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. Guy : It's-it's-it's almost dead! Phoebe Buffay : Okay but that's why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil it's Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the ah, trees that don't fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper. Guy : I-I think I'm gonna look around a little bit more. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here. Monica Geller : Hey, guys. I'm here to pick out my Christmas tree. Phoebe Buffay : Well look no further, this one's yours! Ahhh. Monica Geller : Is this the one that I threw out last year? Phoebe Buffay : All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional, I guess it's just the holidays, it's hard.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang goes Christmas tree shopping and Phoebe tries to sell a nearly dead tree to a customer, while Monica arrives to pick out her own tree but is surprised to find one she threw out last year. Chaos ensues as everyone gets emotional about the holidays and tree selection."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh honey, is that 'cause your Mom died around Christmas? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wasn't even thinking about that. Monica Geller : Oh. Ross Geller : Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell? Girl : I'm not gonna tell you! You're the bad man who broke Sarah's leg. Ross Geller : Hey now! That was an accident, okay. Girl : You're a big scrud. Ross Geller : What's a scrud? Girl : Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud. Ross Geller : I don't have too. I can just look at you.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss Christmas, while Ross talks to an uncooperative girl about selling things."}
-{"dialogues": "Leader : All right girls, and man. Let's see your final tallies. Ohhhh, Debbie, 321 boxes of cookies, Very nice. Ross Geller : Not nice enough. Leader : Charla, 278. Sorry, dear, but still good. Ross Geller : Good for a scrud. Leader : Oh, yes Elizabeth. Ah, 871. Ross Geller : That's crap!! Sister Brown Bird. Good going. Leader : Who's next? Ross Geller : Hi there! Leader : Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself. Ross Geller : Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.", "summary": "The group tallies their box counts, with Debbie leading the way at 321 boxes, followed by Charla at 278. Ross criticizes Debbie's count as not being \"nice enough,\" while Leader praises Charla's effort. Elizabeth contributes 871 boxes, which Ross deems as \"crap.\" Sister Brown Bird offers support, and the group moves on to the next person, who is Ross himself. He reveals that he has a medical condition that requires him to consume large quantities of cookies."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross. Ross Geller : Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes. Chandler Bing : Hey! How'd the interview go? Rachel Green : Oh, I blew it. I wouldn't of even hired me. Ross Geller : Oh, come here sweetie, listen, you're gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. That's not how that was supposed to come out. Phoebe Buffay : This is the worst Christmas ever. Chandler Bing : Y'know what Rach, maybe you should just, y'know stay here at the coffee house. Rachel Green : I can't! It's too late! Terry already hired that girl over there. Look at her, she's even got waitress experience. Last night she was teaching everybody how to make napkin.... swans. Ross Geller : That word was swans. Chandler Bing : Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.", "summary": "Lost job interview due to a young girl loaning her uniform to her sister who sold boxes on the U.S.S. Nimitz. Rachel blew an interview and Phoebe had a terrible Christmas."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Merry Christmas!! Phoebe Buffay : You saved them! You guys! Oh God, you're the best! Chandler Bing : It's like 'Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.' Rachel Green : Hello? Yeah, this is she. Oh! You're kidding! You're kidding! Oh thank you! I love you! Chandler Bing : Sure, everybody loves a kidder. Rachel Green : I got the job! #ALL# : That's great! Hey! Excellent! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, God bless us, everyone. Rachel Green : Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. There you go. Enjoy.", "summary": "Joey saves Christmas trees from being taken down, and Chandler compares it to \"Night of the Living Dead.\" Rachel gets a job offer, and everyone is happy and thankful."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Should I tell her I ordered tea? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, it's just time to move on. Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again. Rachel's Boss : Now Mr. Kaplan Sr. likes his coffee strong, so your gonna use two bags instead of one, see. Now pay attention, 'cause this part's tricky, see some people use filters just once. Ross Geller : I'm, I'm sorry you didn't get to go to Spacecamp, and I'm hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttle's Private Very Special Spacecamp!! Sarah Tuttle : Really Mr. Geller, you don't have to do this. Ross Geller : Oh come on! Here we go! Stand by for mission countdown! Joey Tribbiani : Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... Okay, Blast off! Chandler Bing : I'm an alien. I'm an alien. Ross Geller : Oh no! An asteroid!", "summary": "Rachel Green is leaving her job and feels relieved to never have to make coffee again. Her boss gives her specific instructions on how to make coffee for Mr. Kaplan Sr., who likes his coffee strong. Ross Geller tries to make up for not taking Rachel to Spacecamp by presenting a private, very special Spacecamp experience to Sarah Tuttle. Joey Tribbiani counts down to blast off as Chandler Bing reveals that he is an alien."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, pick a card, any card. All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it? Monica Geller : Um-mm. Joey Tribbiani : All right, give it back to me. 5 of hearts. Ross Geller : Real magic does exist. Rachel Green : Wow. Monica Geller : Wow. Joey, how do you do it? Joey Tribbiani : I can't tell you that, no. Ross Geller : Ah, somebody's at the door on the ceiling. Rachel Green : Noo, that's our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor. Monica Geller : He took up the carpet, and now you can hear everything.", "summary": "Joey performs magic tricks, including memorizing a card and showing it to everyone. Ross believes in real magic, while Monica and Rachel are skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you go up there and ask him to 'step lightly, please?' Monica Geller : I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, that is silly. I'll go up there, I'll tell him to keep it down. Monica Geller : All right, be my guest. Rachel Green : Good luck. Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, I'll show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didn't see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. I just did it. I just did it, again. Here, I'll slow it down so that you guys can see it. #ALL# : Oh, I got it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... . Guy : Whoa, you are very beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay asks Monica Geller to ask a guy to \"step lightly, please\" but Monica has tried multiple times but gets charmed by him and ends up apologizing instead. Phoebe offers to go up and tell him to keep it down, while Rachel Green and Joey Tribbiani share their experiences with the guy. Joey reveals that he managed to make the card disappear when Monica handed it back, and Phoebe is sick of hearing everything from downstairs. The guy compliments Phoebe's beauty."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end? Monica Geller : Honey, what's the matter? Chandler Bing : I just saw Janice. #ALL# : Oh. Chandler Bing : Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me. Chandler Bing : Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon. Joey Tribbiani : Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know.... Ross Geller : Hey Chandler, there's a party tomorrow, you'll feel better then. Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know what, I'm gonna be okay, you don't have to throw a party for me.", "summary": "Janice is skating with her husband at Rockefeller Center, making Chandler feel bad about hitting her pretzel. Joey reminisces about his ex-girlfriend Katherine and how he ended up having sex with both of her friends that day. Ross invites Chandler to a party the next day to help him feel better."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's Joey's birthday. Chandler Bing : Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him. Monica Geller : Sush!! I cannot believe she is still up there. Chandler Bing : Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, it's supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh. Mr. Kaplan : How's that coffee comin,' dear? Rachel Green : Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan. Mr. Kaplan : I'm not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy. Rachel Green : I know! Mr. Kaplan : I'll bet your thinking, 'What's an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee?' Eh? Rachel Green : Op.", "summary": "Joey's birthday, Chandler screws up punchline, Monica can't believe someone is still upstairs, Mr. Kaplan asks for coffee, Rachel offers to get it for him, and Mr. Kaplan says he'll bet Rachel is thinking something about fashion."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Kaplan : Eh. Rachel Green : Oh, you got me. Mr. Kaplan : Well, don't think I haven't noticed your potential. Well, I've got a project for you that's a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound? Rachel Green : Oh, that sounds great. Mr. Kaplan : Come on over here, sweetheart. Rachel Green : Oh thank you so much Mr. Kaplan, thank you so much. Mr. Kaplan : I need these hangers separated ASAP. You're welcome. Rachel Green : Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it. Monica Geller : I know honey, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because it's remotely related to the field they're interested in.", "summary": "Rachel Green is working at Mr. Kaplan's clothing store and is given a new project related to fashion. However, she feels overwhelmed and frustrated with her job, considering it demeaning and not what she wants to do long-term."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Gee, I don't know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy! Rachel Green : Oh honey, come on, I'm sorry, I didn't.... I don't mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom. Rachel Green : Hi! Is my misery amusing to you? Guy : I'm sorry, I wa, I wa, I was just ah.... Rachel Green : It's not funny, this is actually my job. Guy : Oh believe me, I-I-I've been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus. Rachel Green : Oh well then, so I'm just going to go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger. Guy : Ah, just one other thing. Rachel Green : Yes?! Guy : I ah, I work at Bloomingdale's and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?", "summary": "Rachel gets assigned to help an elderly woman named Mira with personal tasks, including taking her to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Rachel encounters a guy who works at Bloomingdale's and mentions a potential job opportunity for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Do you want my pickle? Gunther : Hey guys. Monica Geller : Hey Gunther. Hi. I mean you're going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he's very charming. Monica Geller : I know, he's too charming, but if you two start going out, then it's just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him. Phoebe Buffay : Well, you're just gonna have to try. Monica Geller : Joey, where are the Jell-o shots? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, Chandler is supposed to be passin' 'em around... Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hello-dillillio!!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are concerned about Gunther going out with the noisy upstairs neighbor. Monica is worried it will be harder for her to hate him, while Phoebe thinks they should just try. Meanwhile, Joey is looking for Jell-o shots, but Chandler is nowhere to be found with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, somebody's feeling better. Monica Geller : Stick out your tongue. Chandler Bing : Take off your shirt! Monica Geller : Oh my!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka. Chandler Bing : Yeah, Jell-o just like Mom used to make. Rachel Green : The most unbelievable thing happened to me today. Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! So I'm out having lunch at Monica's and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdale's and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and he's gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview! Ross Geller : Wow!", "summary": "Rachel has a lucky encounter at Monica's while having lunch. A guy talking to her turns out to be a buyer from Bloomingdale's who offers her an interview for a job opening."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I know! Ross Geller : What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason? Rachel Green : Uh-huh! Ross Geller : And he's, he's a total stranger? Rachel Green : Yeah! His name is um, Mark something. Ross Geller : Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex. Rachel Green : What!? Ross Geller : Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason. Rachel Green : To be nice. Ross Geller : Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?", "summary": "A man named Mark enters Rachel's life without explanation and offers to help her, leading Ross to suspect he has ulterior motives."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, only for sex. Ross Geller : Thank you. So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me? Rachel Green : I didn't have to, because I was wearing my 'I heart Ross' sandwich board and ringing my bell. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Joey's Sisters : Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!! Hey-hey-hey! Chandler Bing : Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing? Monica Geller : How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joey's sisters. Chandler Bing : Hi Joey's sisters! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a conversation about sex, while Rachel reveals that she has been wearing an \"I heart Ross\" sandwich board and ringing a bell to express her feelings for him. Joey's sisters arrive to celebrate his birthday, and Chandler asks how many women Joey is seeing. Monica questions how drunk Chandler is, and Phoebe greets everyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Cookie Tribbiani : Hey. What are we drinkin' over here. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I have ah, vodka and cranberry juice. Cookie Tribbiani : No kiddin,' that's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you. Sister 1 : What 'cha doing? Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm taking my ex-girlfriend of my speed dialer. Joey's Sisters : Oh!! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, no, it's a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why can't we savor the precious moments? Those are some huge breasts you have. Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi.", "summary": "Cookie Tribbiani shot her husband and made a drink with vodka and cranberry juice. Phoebe Buffay is uncomfortable talking to Cookie after that revelation. Chandler Bing removes his ex-girlfriend from his speed dialer, questioning the need for rushing through life. Joey's sisters make comments about Chandler's breasts, and Ross Geller greets Monica Geller."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today. Monica Geller : Isn't that great? Ross Geller : Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy. Monica Geller : Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, 'Hummina-hummina-hummina.' Ross Geller : That's excellent. Ross Geller : So, he's just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesn't want anything in exchange for helping him? Rachel Green : Well, I assume I'll have to take showers with him, but y'know, that's true of any job. Monica Geller : How ya feelin'? Chandler Bing : Well, my apartment isn't there anymore, because I drank it. Phoebe Buffay : Where'd you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nRoss and Monica are excited about Rachel meeting a new guy named Mark, who seems nice and attractive. However, Ross is skeptical of Mark's intentions and wonders if he wants anything in exchange for helping Rachel. The conversation turns to showers and the job, with Chandler revealing that his apartment is now gone due to drinking it, and Phoebe wondering where she lost him after he opened all the presents."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone. #ALL# : Woooo hoooo!!! Chandler Bing : Ow, no 'woo-hooing,' no 'woo-hooing.' Phoebe Buffay : Why, what happened? Chandler Bing : Ah, I fooled around with Joey's sister. Well, that's not the worst part. Monica Geller : What is the worse part? Chandler Bing : I can't remember which sister. Ross Geller : You see what men do! Don't tell me men are not nice! This is men!! Monica Geller : Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, he's actually going to kill you dead.", "summary": "Chandler accidentally gets in a compromising position with Joey's sister and can't remember which one it was. The group reacts with shock and amusement."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay! You don't think I thought of that? Phoebe Buffay : How can you not know which one? Rachel Green : I mean that's unbelievable. Monica Geller : I mean, was it Gina? Ross Geller : Which one is Gina? Rachel Green : Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings. Monica Geller : No, no, no, that's Dina. Chandler Bing : You see you can't tell which one is which either, dwha!! Phoebe Buffay : We didn't fool around with any of them. Dwha! Dwha! Chandler Bing : Veronica. Look, it's got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group is confused about which woman Chandler kissed at the bar, leading to a series of mistaken identities and awkward moments."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That was me. Chandler Bing : Look, when I've been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly, and I'm sorry. Monica Geller : That's okay. Rachel Green : That's all right. Ross Geller : That's okay. Joey Tribbiani : Can I talk to you for a second?! Ross Geller : Hey, Joey. Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Come on!! Chandler Bing : Why can't we talk in here? With, with, witnesses.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue after he admits to getting too friendly while drinking; Rachel, Ross, and Joey try to mediate."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I just got off the phone with my sister. Ross Geller : Ah, which, which one? Joey Tribbiani : Mary-Angela. Ross Geller : Mary-Angela. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : Y'know which one was she again? Joey Tribbiani : Why don't you ask Chandler, 'cause he's the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin' over Janice by groping my sister. Chandler Bing : It's gotta be the first one. Joey Tribbiani : Really? That's great! You and my sister, sittin' in a tree. Chandler Bing : Yep, I'm in a tree.", "summary": "Mary-Angela, Ross's sister, was on the phone with Joey. Joey told Ross that Mary-Angela said Chandler fooled around with her and told Joey he could fall for her. Chandler confirmed this, saying he is now in a tree."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Did he call? Did Mark call? Monica Geller : No honey, I'm sorry, but the weekend's not over yet. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh my God, is that Phoebe? Monica Geller : I guess they're back from their date. Rachel Green : Music. Very nice. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : So, how are you? Monica Geller : I am good. I finished my book. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, what's it about? Monica Geller : I don't remember. Do you wanna take a walk?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss whether Mark called, but the conversation is interrupted when Phoebe returns from her date. They listen to music and Monica finishes her book, but can't remember what it was about. They decide to take a walk."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. Ross Geller : Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. How's it going. This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write. What the hell's a matter with you? How do you think Joey's going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter? Chandler Bing : Well, that's the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually I'll be in Cuba. Ross Geller : All right, look, look, you've got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy. Chandler Bing : What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela? Ross Geller : Where in Cuba? Chandler Bing : Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you? Chandler Bing : I'm here to see Mary-Angela. Joey Tribbiani : You are so the man! Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, 'cause my Grandma doesn't know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.", "summary": "Ross is writing a difficult letter to Mary-Angela, Joey's sister, while Chandler is planning to tell her he moved to France instead of Cuba. However, things get complicated when Ross and Chandler discuss their plans in front of Joey, who reveals that his grandmother is unaware of Mary-Angela's existence and does not want to be ticked off."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Where's Mary-Angela? Joey Tribbiani : She's right in there. Joey's Sisters : Hey, Chandler! Rachel Green : I can't believe Mark didn't call. It's Sunday night, and he didn't call. Ross Geller : Bummer. Rachel Green : Yeah, right. Look at you, you're practically giddy. Ross Geller : No, I'm genuinely sorry the Mark thing didn't work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, why don't you just call Mark. I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, you've got to make stuff happen. Ross Geller : But, you, you don't want to seem too pushy. Monica Geller : Honey, it's not pushy, he gave her his home number.", "summary": "Mary-Angela is in a room with Joey Tribbiani, and Rachel Green can't believe Mark didn't call on Sunday night. Ross Geller expresses regret that their relationship didn't work out and offers support to Rachel. Monica Geller suggests that Rachel should contact Mark directly instead of waiting for him to call."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home? Rachel Green : Yeah, and you don't mind if I call, because you only want good things for me. Ross Geller : That's right good things, that-that is what I said. Rachel Green : Hello, Mark? Hi, it's Rachel Green. Oh no, don't you apologize. Yeah, I'll hold. He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers. Ross Geller : That is so made up! Rachel Green : Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, it's perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! I got the interview! Monica Geller : Yay! Ross Geller : There you go. Rachel Green : He even offered to meet me for lunch tomorrow to prep me for it. Monica Geller : Oh, that is amazing!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Mark giving her his home number, which Ross finds suspicious but ultimately approves of. Rachel gets an interview with Mark and thanks him profusely."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, I'd expect nothing less. Rachel Green : I got to figure out what I'm going to wear. Ross Geller : High collar and baggy pants say I'm a pro. Rachel Green : Yeah! Right! Okay, I'll see you guys later. Woo hoo! Ross Geller : You go get 'em. What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way? Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : 'Why don't you call him?!' Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend! Monica Geller : Are you crazy?! Ross Geller : Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal. Monica Geller : What?! Ross y'know this isn't even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if you're right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?", "summary": "Ross is concerned that Mark will try to flirt with Rachel at their dinner date. Monica tries to reassure Ross that he has nothing to worry about, but Ross is convinced that Mark will try to sleep with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No. Monica Geller : I mean don't you trust her? Ross Geller : Well, yeah! Monica Geller : Then get over yourself! Grow up! Ross Geller : You grow up. Chandler Bing : This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela? Joey's Grandmother : No! I did! Chandler Bing : Well, it's, it's yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it? Joey's Grandmother : Of course! It's her favorite. Chandler Bing : So um, Mary-Angela, what's your second favorite?", "summary": "Ross and Monica argue about his trust issues with Rachel. Meanwhile, Chandler enjoys a delicious teramisu made by Joey's grandmother, who reveals it's Mary-Angela's favorite."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey's Grandmother : More of Grandma's teramisu. Chandler Bing : Would you just please....give me the receipt 'cause this is great. It's top notch. Joey's Grandmother : That dies with me. Chandler Bing : So will I. Joey's Sister : Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no I was just squinting. That doesn't mean anything. Joey's Sister : Just do it. Chandler Bing : Will you excuse me I have to um..... Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey's Sister : Finally, I thought we'd never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey's grandmother argue over a recipe, while Chandler tries to impress Joey with his praise of the dessert. Joey's sister interrupts, leading to a series of awkward exchanges before she finally confesses her attraction to Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look, I may have jumped the gun here. Um, I just got out of a relationship and I'm not really in a, in a commitment kind of place. Joey's Sister : So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips. Chandler Bing : Ahhhh, you're not Mary-Angela. Joey's Sister : No, I'm Mary-Theresa. Chandler Bing : This is so bad. If-if you're not Mary-Angela, then-then who is? Mary-Angela : I am! Chandler Bing : Oh, this is soo bad. Mary-Angela : Joey!!! Chandler Bing : No Joey! No Joey! Don't Joey! Joey! Joey Tribbiani : What's goin' on?", "summary": "Chandler mistakenly believes he is talking to Mary-Angela, but it turns out he has actually spoken with her sister, Mary-Theresa. Chandler becomes confused and worried as he tries to correct his mistake, while Mary-Angela enters the room and confirms that she is indeed the person Chandler was looking for."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You're it! Now run and hide! Mary-Theresa : It's no big deal. Chandler was just kissin' me because he thought I was Mary-Angela. Joey Tribbiani : What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela? Chandler Bing : I wasn't sure which one Mary-Angela was. Look, I'm sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar. Joey's Sister : I say, punch him Joey. #ALL# : Yeah! Punch him!! Chandler Bing : Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brother's not going to punch me. Are ya? Joey Tribbiani : Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought you'd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?! Chandler Bing : Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, you're my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again. Cookie Tribbiani : So what. I say, punch him.", "summary": "Chandler mistakes Mary-Theresa for Mary-Angela and kisses her, leading to a confrontation with Joey and his sister. Chandler apologizes and tries to make amends, but Joey is still upset and considers punching him."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Yeah! Punch him! Punch him! Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! No, I'm not going to punch Chandler. Cookie Tribbiani : I'll do it. Joey Tribbiani : No you won't. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, he's sorry. But, you've got one more apology to make, all right, you've got to apologize to Mary-Angela. Chandler Bing : Okay, absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler Bing : You've got it. Joey Tribbiani : Cookie, now you can punch him! Chandler Bing : What?! Rachel Green : Hey!", "summary": "Chandler wronged Mary-Angela and the group pressures him to apologize. When it's Joey's turn, Cookie offers to punch Chandler instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : What are you doing here? Ross Geller : Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : How'd did it go? Rachel Green : Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldn't shut up. Ross Geller : I'm so proud of you. Rachel Green : Me too!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel run into each other at a building where Ross used to have a paper route. They exchange greetings and Ross asks how Rachel's job interview went. Rachel tells him that it went well, thanks to Mark's coaching, and she was able to impress the interviewer with her knowledge of the fall line. Ross is proud of Rachel and expresses his admiration."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Listen, I'm ah, I'm sorry I've been so crazy and jealous and, it's just that I like you a lot, so... Rachel Green : I know. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. Mark Robinson : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Hi Mark! Mark Robinson : Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job. Rachel Green : Oh, I did! Mark Robinson : Yes. Rachel Green : Oh my God!!", "summary": "Ross is jealous and apologizes to Rachel after expressing his feelings. Joanna tells Mark that she loves Rachel and Rachel gets the job."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Congratu!! -lations-lations. Monica Geller : So ah, Phoebe, how was your date? Phoebe Buffay : Oh well y'know. Monica Geller : Yeah, I do know. Phoebe Buffay : Ick, you were eavesdropping. Rachel Green : Eavesdropping. Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. But I really like this guy. And I think he really happens to like me. Ross Geller : Maybe he's just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it? Ross Geller : Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too? Joey Tribbiani : All right, that's it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! But, is he a big guy?", "summary": "Phoebe goes on a date and enjoys herself, despite some initial doubts. Ross tries to be funny by making jokes about the guy, while Joey threatens to physically confront him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ah, we'll all go. Come on. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks you guys! Thank you. Chandler Bing : Don't worry. Phoebe Buffay : God, I hope they kick his ass! Rachel Green : Honey, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : Y'know if it's any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. Guy : May I help you? Rachel Green : Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress. Rachel Green : Tell him.", "summary": "The group decides to go out together despite Phoebe's misgivings about one of their friends. Phoebe hopes for a violent confrontation, but Monica defends him and Chandler makes a comment about Rachel's clothing. The conversation turns to Rachel's shoes and Chandler makes a crude remark about her dress."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her! Chandler Bing : All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday? Ross Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist. Ross Geller : Oh God. Y'know, botanists are such geeks. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie? Ross Geller : Hmm? Oh, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Morning. Rach, I'm here with the purses! Chandler Bing : It must take you forever to find your keys. Rachel Green : Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss a bachelor party for Chandler's weird cousin Albert, who is a botanist. Ross makes fun of botanists, and Chandler shows off his dinosaur tie. Phoebe arrives with the purses, and Rachel thanks her for help finding her keys."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Your welcome, oh please not the one with the turtles. Rachel Green : No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today. Ross Geller : Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch? Rachel Green : Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out. Ross Geller : Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job? Rachel Green : Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. Is this actually a lunchbox? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it. Rachel Green : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey, so can you make it on Friday? Ross Geller : What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?", "summary": "Ross tries to take Rachel out to lunch but she already has plans with Mark. Phoebe brings a purse with a thermos inside. Chandler joins the conversation and invites himself to join Rachel on Friday."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper. Phoebe Buffay : A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich. Why don't you get a magician?! Chandler Bing : Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right. Ross Geller : She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, he's really good looking. What am I gonna do? Chandler Bing : Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! Don't cry outloud. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical? Chandler Bing : I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer. Joey Tribbiani : It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco. Ross Geller : Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities. Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Albert has no friends and is excited about his bachelor party, but only because he wants to see a stripper. Phoebe suggests getting a magician instead, which Chandler agrees with. Meanwhile, Ross sees Joey auditioning for a Broadway musical and becomes jealous of his singing talents. Joey tries to convince Ross that he gets to pick the cities, but Ross tells him otherwise."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em. Joey Tribbiani : Who? Chandler Bing : I'll get you the Cliff Notes. Joey Tribbiani : The what? Chandler Bing : The abridgment. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, okay. The what? Mark Robinson : ...and the style number, and the invoice number, and the shipping date. Good. Any questions so far? Rachel Green : Yeah. What kind of discount do we get? Mark Robinson : Twenty percent. Rachel Green : Oh!! I love this job! Wow! My first call.", "summary": "Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.\nThe conversation revolves around a discussion about a job opportunity and the potential discount offered by the company. Ross, Joey, Chandler, Rachel, and Mark are involved in the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Mark Robinson : Here, let me. Rachel Green's line, how may I help you? Ross Geller : Hi, is Rachel there? Mark Robinson : And who may I say is calling? Ross Geller : This is Ross? Mark Robinson : Ross of..... Ross Geller : Of Ross and Rachel. Mark Robinson : Oh hi. It's, it's Mark. Ross Geller : Oh hey, hey Mark. Mark Robinson : Hey, hold on a second. Ross Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying to reach Rachel's friend Mark, but he isn't answering. Ross recognizes Mark's name and realizes that he is the same person he used to be friends with in high school."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi honey! Ross Geller : Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone? Rachel Green : Oh, he's just goofing around. Ross Geller : Ohhhhh yeah, that's, that's funny. Why ah, why isn't he goofing around in his own office? Rachel Green : Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants. Ross Geller : Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she? Rachel Green : Oh! Oh my God! What did I just do? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. Mark, I need you! Ross Geller : Okay, bye-bye.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are working as Joanna's assistants when Rachel receives a call on her phone. Mark, another assistant, answers and starts fooling around. Ross questions why Mark is in Joanna's office and Rachel reveals that they are both assistants. Ross jokes about Joanna being lazy for needing two assistants. Rachel then realizes she accidentally shipped 3,000 bras to personnel and needs Mark's help."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ow! Ross!! Ross Geller : Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. Jeannine : All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it. Monica Geller : Please, I'm not going for anything. Jeannine : Well, if you don't, I will. Monica Geller : Would you please go? Jeannine : Night Mon. Night Julio. Julio (poet) : Adios. Monica Geller : Look Julio, someone left their book here. Julio (poet) : Ah actually, that is mine.", "summary": "Ross tries to dial another number while hurting Rachel's foot, Jeannine suggests Monica go talk to him, but Monica refuses and Jeannine offers to go instead. Julio (the poet) enters and claims a book left by Monica is his."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh yeah, what are you reading? Julio (poet) : Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it? Monica Geller : Have I read it? No, are you enjoying it? Julio (poet) : I thought I would, but the translation's no good. Monica Geller : Your a poet and don't know it. Julio (poet) : Actually I ah, I am a poet. Monica Geller : Oh, then you do know it. So um what kind of things do you write about? Julio (poet) : Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. Monica Geller : Mine? Right here? Julio (poet) : I can write an epic poem about this lip.", "summary": "Monica Geller asks Julio (a poet) what he's reading, and he replies \"Flowers of Evil\" by Baudelaire. Monica hasn't read it but asks if he's enjoying it, to which Julio responds that the translation is poor. Monica teases Julio about not realizing he's a poet himself, and they discuss his writing style, with Julio expressing his fondness for capturing moments that move him, such as the shadow of a tree or a child's laughter. Monica jokingly asks if he could write an epic poem about her lip, to which Julio agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How would that go? Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it. Joey Tribbiani : You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, you've got to pick a pocket or two.......... Director : Lovely, just lovely. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Thanks. Director : Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday. Joey Tribbiani : Excellent, I'll be there. Director : Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part. Director : Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake. Chandler Bing : ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!", "summary": "Joey auditions for a role in a play and impresses the director with his acting skills, but forgets to bring his jazz shoes for the dance audition. The director reassures him that all roles will involve some dancing, but Joey is worried because he hasn't been dancing recently. Chandler chimes in with details of Joey's dance background, including his training with Twila Tharp and the American Ballet Theater."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either. Phoebe Buffay : Well, can you dance at all? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I can dance, y'know. Chandler Bing : Oh no, no, no, no. Phoebe Buffay : What, what is that? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing. Chandler Bing : All right, I have to get that, but no-no. Hello? Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? So would I, would I have to provide the grapes? Monica Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita? Monica Geller : It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.", "summary": "Joey claims that everyone lies on their resume, including himself, and Phoebe asks if he can dance. Chandler interrupts to ask for a stripper, and Monica joins in with her own story of an amazing night with Julio, who wrote a poem while they were intimate."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me. Chandler Bing : Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier. Joey Tribbiani : Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be? Monica Geller : Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. Joey Tribbiani : The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty... Chandler Bing : To yourself. Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good. Monica Geller : Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, I'm not done.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Chandler discuss a stripper they have hired for a party while Monica reads a poem she found, which Joey thinks is about him. Phoebe joins in, and the group discusses the meaning of the poem."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys. Chandler Bing : Bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica! Chandler Bing : What, what, what?! Phoebe Buffay : What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase! Chandler Bing : You really think that is what he meant? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too. Joey Tribbiani : Done. Mark Robinson : Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm...", "summary": "Monica is upset after receiving a poem from Chandler, who thinks she is empty inside. Phoebe interprets the poem as referring to Monica being the \"empty vase,\" while Chandler believes it means he has made her happy. Joey finishes his work and Mark requests the Ralph Lauren file. Rachel struggles to find the file."}
-{"dialogues": "Mark Robinson : Wh-what's that? Ross Geller : It's from Ross, it's a love bug. Mark Robinson : Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend. Rachel Green : Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic. Man : Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green? Rachel Green : Yes. Man : One, two, three... Quartet : Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before your the boss. The Bass Barber : Omm-pah, omm-pah, omm-pah. Quartet : And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...", "summary": "Ross gives Rachel a love bug as a gift, which she interprets as Ross being romantic, but Mark assumes it's because he wants people to know Rachel has a boyfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "The Bass Barber : It's nice to have a boyfriend. Quartet : Your loyal loving boyfriend Ross..... Ross! Ross Geller : I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt! Rachel Green : All right Ross!! I get it!! Ross Geller : I mean my God... Rachel Green : You're hurt! Ross Geller : ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!! Rachel Green : Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk! Ross Geller : I would never do that! Rachel Green : Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.", "summary": "Ross tries to surprise Rachel with a barbershop quartet at her office, but she misunderstands his intentions and thinks he's trying to mark his territory by sending them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot. Joey Tribbiani : Mark's a genius! Ross Geller : Why?! How?! How is he a genius? Chandler Bing : Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you. Ross Geller : What am I going to do? Chandler Bing : Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits. Ross Geller : I don't know you guys. Chandler Bing : All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.' Joey Tribbiani : And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!' Chandler Bing : He paints quite a picture doesn't he?", "summary": "Ross tries to stop Mark from winning Rachel over by sending her a musical bouquet, but it backfires and Mark becomes her confidant instead. Ross must now make surprise visits to win her back, but Chandler and Joey discourage him and remind him that it's been four years since they broke up."}
-{"dialogues": "Woman : Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December. Mark Robinson : And wait, I've got something for you. Woman : Mark!! Mark Robinson : It's okay, Rachel knows. Woman : Yeah, but even soo. Mark Robinson : I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you. Rachel Green : Ohhh! That is soo sweet! Mark Robinson : Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me. Ross Geller : All right that's, that's it!! Get off her! Mark Robinson : What is going on?", "summary": "Mark Robinson expresses his romantic feelings to Rachel Green, who is surprised and amused by his behavior. Ross Geller intervenes, telling Mark to stop and reminding him that Rachel is someone else's girlfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What's going on?! That's what's going on!! Rachel Green : Ross! Ross Geller : I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! Hi Rach. Director : Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island. Joey Tribbiani : So, does that mean the audition is off? Director : Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Director : Aw come on Joey, it's easy. Y'know, it's hand, hand, head, head, up, pas de bouree, pas de bouree, big turn here, grand sissone, sissone, sissone, slide back, step, step, step, and jazz hands! Joey Tribbiani : It's ah, step-ity, step and jazz hands. Director : Have fun.", "summary": "Ross Geller goes to a store for 20 minutes trying to get a tie but doesn't receive any service. Meanwhile, Joey Tribbiani gets a call from his dance captain about a relationship crisis and the audition being in jeopardy. The director asks Joey to teach the dancers a combination, which he struggles with and refers to as \"step-ity\" and \"jazz hands.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : What are you wrapping? Monica Geller : Oh-ho, look what I got Julio. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's a vase. Monica Geller : Yeah, just like the one in the poem. Phoebe Buffay : Well not exactly like the one in the poem. Monica Geller : What do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh.", "summary": "Phoebe gives a vase as a gift to Julio, similar to one mentioned in a poem. Monica mistakes the poem for being about the vase and misunderstands Phoebe's intentions."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So! I'm just an empty vase, huh? Julio (poet) : What? Monica Geller : Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me. Julio (poet) : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Monica Geller : You don't even know me... Julio (poet) : Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you. Monica Geller : What? Julio (poet) : The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, my friend Phoebe... Julio (poet) : No, it's about all women. Well, all American women. You feel better now?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Monica Geller feeling insecure about her intelligence and cultural pursuits after a poet calls her an \"empty vase.\" Monica expresses her lack of interest in intellectual books and poems, preferring to read People magazine and catalogs. Julio (the poet) clarifies that his poem is not about Monica but rather about all American women. Monica feels better after realizing this."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh yeah. Director : All right, let's do it! Director : No, no, no. What was that? Joey Tribbiani : I know, it was the best I could get out of them. Director : Well, people! Joey Tribbiani : People, people, people. Director : Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. Show 'em how it's done. Count it off. Rachel Green : So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. See, she's fully dressed, right? Rachel Green : Right.", "summary": "The group plans a bachelor party for Joey, but they have trouble remembering what happened the night before. They try to recreate the events of the previous night, with varying degrees of success."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hello. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen. Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I was an idiot. Rachel Green : A big idiot. Ross Geller : A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me. Rachel Green : Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now? Ross Geller : Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away. Gunther : Let it be me! Let it be me!", "summary": "Mark is naked, then dressed again. Ross struggles with his feelings for Rachel after previously being with Carol for eight years. Gunther expresses interest in taking Rachel away from both Ross and Mark."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. Ross Geller : I gotta get going. Bye Chandler. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn? Rachel Green : Where ya going? Ross Geller : Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon. Rachel Green : Ohh, with who? Ross Geller : Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party. Rachel Green : There was a woman at the... The stripper?! Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : You have a play date with a stripper?!", "summary": "Ross has a play date with a woman he met at a party, while Chandler asks him to pick up some porn. Rachel is jealous and questions Ross about the woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Man, I gotta get a kid. Ross Geller : Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay? Rachel Green : Sure, is she married? Ross Geller : Ahh, no. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Are you jealous? Rachel Green : Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own? Ross Geller : You are totally jealous. Rachel Green : I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I... Ross Geller : Honey, I love you too.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are planning to take a friend's child to a gym class with Ben, their son. Rachel is curious if the woman has a husband, and Ross reveals that she doesn't. Rachel expresses jealousy over the woman interacting with Ben, and Ross accuses her of feeling this way. The conversation revolves around their feelings towards strippers and people's reactions to them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ugh. Wait, wait, wait. Ross Geller : What? Ross Geller : Huh. Rachel Green : Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper. Man : Is there a Julio here? Julio (poet) : I am Julio. Man : Mister Pretensous, you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner. Quartet : Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch. Bass Singer : No one likes a buttmunch.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel share a kiss that will last for hours; Chandler suggests either a stripper or unpublished poetry as reasons for Ross's arousal; a group of people insult Julio's poetry and job at a diner."}
-{"dialogues": "Quartet : And your also bad in bedd-edd-edd!. Monica Geller : Hi. Clerk : Six dollars, please. Monica Geller : Six? I just had it for one night. It's three. Clerk : Eight o'clock is the cut-off and, aww, it's 8:02. Monica Geller : Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, you're gonna have to help me out here, 'cause I only have three. Richard Burke : I can help with that. Monica Geller : Oh my God. Richard? Hi! Richard Burke : Hi! Monica Geller : Wow! Your lip went bald. Hey, thanks.", "summary": "A customer (Clerk) argues with a character named Monica Geller over the price of a parking ticket, which Monica claims she only had for one night and should only cost three dollars. Richard Burke, Monica's husband, offers to help Monica pay for the ticket despite his balding lip."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : So, you look great. Monica Geller : Right. Richard Burke : No you do. You... just... Monica Geller : What? Richard Burke : You've got panties stuck to your leg. Monica Geller : That's because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and it's static cling. Or maybe it's just that God knew I'd be running into you and saw an opportunity. Richard Burke : It's good to see you. Monica Geller : It's good to see you too. Monica Geller : You see that guy? He's in classics now, but y'know as soon as we leave he's going straight to the porn. Richard Burke : He's gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. This is nice.", "summary": "Monica Geller is seen grappling with static cling while talking to Richard Burke, who compliments her appearance. The two then exchange humorous banter about a male student who is taking a classics course but intends to watch pornography upon their departure."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah. Richard Burke : I missed this. Monica Geller : Me too. Richard Burke : So, you wanna get a hamburger or something? Monica Geller : Oh, um, I don't know if that's a good idea. Richard Burke : Oh. Look, just friends, I won't grope you. I promise. Monica Geller : No, I just I think that it's too soon. Richard Burke : No it's not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven. Chandler Bing : Yeah, baby! Ross Geller : What are you doing?", "summary": "Monica and Richard missed an event together. Richard suggests getting a hamburger to make up for it, but Monica declines due to personal reasons. Richard promises not to grope her, but Chandler interrupts with a sarcastic comment."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Making chocolate milk. Do you want some? Ross Geller : No thanks. I'm 29. Rachel Green : Oh my God, I gotta go to work! Ross Geller : Oh sweetie, when do you think you're going to get off tonight? Rachel Green : Oh I don't know honey. It's gonna be really late. Ross Geller : Oh come on, not again. Rachel Green : I know. I'm sorry. Look, I'll make a deal with you all right? Okay? Ross Geller : Hmm. Rachel Green : For every night that you're asleep before I get home from work... Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross makes chocolate milk while Chandler offers him some. Rachel has to go to work and Ross asks when she will be done. They make a deal where Ross will stay up late if Rachel makes it home before he falls asleep."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I will wake you up in a way that's proved very popular in the past. Ross Geller : Now, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that. Rachel Green : Right. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. #ALL# : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Look at you. Since when do you roller blade? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal that's he's going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff. Ross Geller : And what are you going to do for him? Phoebe Buffay : I'm going to let him. Ross Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Rachel wakes up Ross in a way that has been popular in the past. Ross supports Phoebe staying late if she needs to. Phoebe meets a cute guy and he teaches her various athletic activities. Phoebe agrees to let him teach her, while Ross is skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Monica Geller : Morning. #ALL# : Hey. Rachel Green : Somebody got in late last night. Monica Geller : Yeah well, I ran into Richard. Rachel Green : When did this happen? Monica Geller : Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, there's no such thing as an innocent burger. Ross Geller : So, are you gonna see him again? Monica Geller : Tomorrow night.", "summary": "Monica and Richard had a secret meeting at 8:02 PM and talked for a bit before getting an \"innocent\" burger together. Monica will see him again tomorrow night."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Monica, what are you doing? Chandler Bing : Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now she's celebrating that by going on a date with him. Monica Geller : It's not a date, okay. I'm just gonna teach him how to make lasagne for some pot luck dinner he has. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know you'll probably be hungry after the sex. Monica Geller : We're not gonna have sex! Okay, nothing's changed here. He still doesn't want children and I still do, so that's why we're just gonna be friends. Ross Geller : Naked friends. Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Do you have any ice? Joey Tribbiani : Check the freezer. If there's none in there, then we're probably out. Are you just getting in from work? It's late.", "summary": "Rachel goes on a lasagna-making date with Chandler, despite still having feelings for him. Monica clarifies that it's not a date and Joey makes a sex joke. Rachel and Ross argue about being naked friends, while Joey offers to check the freezer for ice."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day? Joey Tribbiani : I discovered I'm able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue. Rachel Green : Hmm. Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I was reading it last night, and I got scared, so. Rachel Green : But ah, you're safe from it if it's in the freezer? Joey Tribbiani : Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure we've got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know. Rachel Green : How often do you read it? Joey Tribbiani : Haven't you ever read the same book over and over again? Rachel Green : Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean that's a classic, what's so great about The Shining? Joey Tribbiani : The question should be Rach, what is not so great about the shining. Okay? And the answer would be nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet it's way better than that classic of yours.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey discovers he can count his teeth with his tongue and reads a horror book in the freezer to avoid reading it. Rachel shares her experience sitting in on a meeting with Calvin Klein reps and orders lingerie for her boss."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Ah, well we'll just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, and you will read Little Women. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you got it. Rachel Green : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, now Rach, these ah, these little women. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little? Phoebe Buffay : Um, Chandler, Ross, this is Robert. Chandler Bing : Oh, hey.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey challenge each other to read two classic novels, The Shining and Little Women. Phoebe joins in on the fun and makes a silly comment about the book's cover."}
-{"dialogues": "Robert Bobby : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : You've have lipstick right here . That's okay, it's mine, we just kissed. Ross Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : So ah, isn't a bit cold out for shorts? Robert Bobby : Well, I'm from California. Chandler Bing : Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flames. Chandler Bing : I'm up! I'm up, I've gotten up now! Anybody ah, want anything? Phoebe Buffay : I'll have coffee. Robert Bobby : Yeah, me too.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are talking about the weather when Phoebe interrupts to mention that she has lipstick and they just kissed. Robert comes from California and Chandler makes a joke about them spontaneously combusting. Chandler offers coffee to everyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, make that three. Chandler Bing : Okay Ross, why don't you come with me? Ross Geller : Okay. What ah, what is the matter with you? What's going on? Chandler Bing : Robert's coming out. Ross Geller : What, what do you mean, what? Is he gay? Chandler Bing : No. He.....he's coming out of his shorts. Ross Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : The man is showing brain. Ross Geller : Are you sure? Hold on. I'm sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a.... Robert Bobby : Coffee.", "summary": "Robert is coming out of his shorts."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay. Robert Bobby : We could write it down for you? Ross Geller : No, no, that won't be ah, that won't be necessary Chandler Bing : Wellll? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, yeah! Chandler Bing : What do we do? What do we do? Ross Geller : Well, I suppose we just try to not look directly at it. Chandler Bing : Like an eclipse. Richard Burke : So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say? Monica Geller : You say 'Thank you very much,' and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, we're gonna put are hands in this bowl, and we're gonna start squishing the tomatoes.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss writing down a plan to deal with a difficult situation, but Ross rejects the idea. Monica joins the conversation and suggests buying her something pretty after someone compliments her cooking. Richard offers advice on how to respond when people complement him on his cooking."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Ew, this feels very weird. Monica Geller : You touch people's eyeballs every day and this feels weird. Richard Burke : Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. That's my hand. Monica Geller : Oops. Richard Burke : Okay. Monica Geller : Gotta keep squishing. Richard Burke : Tomatoes are squishing. Monica Geller : Okay. Richard Burke : Op. Monica Geller : Oh, gosh, you got some on your shirt.", "summary": "Monica and Richard have a conversation about touching people's eyeballs, with Richard revealing that he has spent years learning not to squish them. Monica accidentally squishes someone's eye, and they both start talking about tomatoes being squished."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Yeah. Monica Geller : Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it and it should umm, be..... Richard Burke : What? Monica Geller : Umm, you've got some on your pants. Richard Burke : I'll just throw them out. Joey Tribbiani : These little women. Wow! Chandler Bing : Your liking it, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! Amy just burned Jo's manuscript. I don't see how he could ever forgive her. Ross Geller : Umm, Jo's a girl, it's short for Josephine. Joey Tribbiani : But Jo's got a crush on Laurie. Oh. You mean it's like a girl-girl thing? 'Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a series of events, including someone spilling club soda on their pants, a character named Amy burning a manuscript, and another character named Jo having a crush on someone named Laurie."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, actually Laurie's a boy. Joey Tribbiani : No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey! How'd the ah, basketball go? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, I learned how to shoot a lay-up, a foul shot, and a twenty-three pointer. Chandler Bing : You mean a three pointer? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I get more because I'm dainty. Robert Bobby : So um, is there a phone here, I can check my messages? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, in the back. You want a quarter?", "summary": "Laurie (a boy) is mistaken for a girl named Rachel, leading to confusion and humor throughout the conversation. Chandler and Joey discuss basketball, while Phoebe reveals she learned how to shoot different types of shots in a basketball game. Robert wants to check his messages and asks for a quarter."}
-{"dialogues": "Robert Bobby : Oh, no thanks. I always carry one in my sock. Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Get back over on your side of the... Hello!! Hi, I'm Joey, we haven't met. Robert Bobby : Ah, good to meet you. Robert. Phoebe Buffay : What? What? You guys, what is going on? You not like Robert? Why are you laughing?! Ross Geller : Calm down. There's no reason to get testy. Phoebe Buffay : You guys!! Come on! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it just seems that Robert isn't as concealed in the shorts area, as ah, one may have hoped. Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean? Robert Bobby : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey.", "summary": "Robert and Joey are talking, but Phoebe interrupts to ask what's going on. Ross tries to calm her down, and Chandler makes a comment about Robert's lack of concealment in his shorts area."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Robert, could you ah, ha, pass me those cookies? Robert Bobby : Sure. Monica Geller : So, how'd the lasagne go over? Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about you too. I know. It's hard this whole platonic thing. It's a word! Monica Geller : Yeah, I do think it's better this way. Yeah, we're being smart. Yes, I'm sure. Richard Burke : You really sure? Monica Geller : I'll call you back. Monica Geller : So we can be friends who sleep together. Richard Burke : Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball. Monica Geller : Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies? Richard Burke : Just your dad. Although that's actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sister's neighbour next Tuesday.", "summary": "Monica Geller invites Richard Burke to sleep with her while they are friends, despite their previous platonic relationship. Robert Bobby passes Monica Geller cookies, and she inquires about the lasagna he made, to which he responds it was well-received. Joey Tribbiani is mentioned as wanting to be friends with Monica Geller, but also desiring to sleep with her. Richard Burke mentions having a blind date with his sister's neighbor next Tuesday."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh. Richard Burke : You want me to cancel it? Monica Geller : No! No! Richard Burke : Okay. Monica Geller : 'Cause if you do that means you'd be cancelling it for me, and we're just friends. Richard Burke : Exactly. Robert Bobby : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ooh! Don't sit down! Robert Bobby : You ready to go to the batting cage? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. And, first here's a gift.", "summary": "Monica wants Richard to cancel an event, but he agrees to do it for her instead of cancelling it for her and they are just friends. Meanwhile, Bobby and Phoebe are going to a batting cage."}
-{"dialogues": "Robert Bobby : Oh! Wow! Hey! Chandler Bing : Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you I would wear them every day, every day! Robert Bobby : Jeez, thank you really that is so nice. But um, to be honest, I don't think I can wear these, they're so tight, I feel like I'm on display. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : That's all right, that's well, I figured.... Robert Bobby : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How's it going? Ross Geller : Good. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining? Rachel Green : Oh, Danny just went into room 217. Joey Tribbiani : Oooh, the next part's the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub...", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a discussion about stretchy pants and their appeal, with Chandler Bing expressing enthusiasm for wearing them every day. Robert Bobby is hesitant to wear them due to feeling self-conscious about being on display. Phoebe Buffay offers supportive words, and the group moves on to a different topic - a discussion of The Shining movie. Specifically, they mention a scene involving a dead woman in a bathtub."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, no, meh-nah-nah-nah, come on you're gonna ruin it! Joey Tribbiani : All right I'll talk in code. Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway? Chandler Bing : Hmmm, that's very cool. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, all blank, and no blank, make's blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww! Rachel Green : Joey! I can't believe you just did that! Chandler Bing : I can't believe she cracked your code! Rachel Green : All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though she's still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad. Rachel Green : Eh. Beth dies. Joey Tribbiani : Beth, Beth dies?", "summary": "The gang is trying to explain a movie in code, but it keeps getting ruined. The movie involves a kid seeing two blanks in a hallway, Jack almost killing everyone with a blank, and Laurie proposing to Joey but Joey's wife Beth dying instead. The boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, killing the dad."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Um-hmm. Joey Tribbiani : Is that true? If I keep reading is Beth gonna die? Chandler Bing : No, Beth doesn't die, she doesn't die. Does she Rachel? Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Joey's asking if you've just ruined the first book he's ever loved that didn't star Jack Nicholson? Rachel Green : No. She doesn't die. Joey Tribbiani : Then why would you say that?! Rachel Green : Because, I wanted to hurt you. Robert Bobby : Oh, there they are! I-I dropped my keys. Rachel Green : Oh my....", "summary": "Beth doesn't die."}
-{"dialogues": "Robert Bobby : Got 'em. Monica Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Sorry. I'm sorry. Monica Geller : You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, in a grill fire. Monica Geller : What are you smiling at? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, I was just thinking you're day could still pick up. Monica Geller : Yeah, right. Richard Burke : Hello. Monica Geller : I love this friend thing! Phoebe Buffay : Listen, Robert's gonna be here any second so, will one of you just tell him?", "summary": "Monica had a chaotic day at work and lost a fake boob in a grill fire. Rachel apologized for something, and Richard arrived to join the conversation. Phoebe mentioned that Robert would be arriving soon and asked if someone could tell him something."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Please, right now, no, every time I see him it's like 'Is it on the lose?' 'Is it watching me?' Chandler Bing : We can't tell him, you can't go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff. Ross Geller : He's right, even if it's to say something complementary. Robert Bobby : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Robert Bobby : So are ready for the gym? They've got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other. Phoebe Buffay : No, I can spot you from here. Robert Bobby : What? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, listen Robert...", "summary": "Phoebe and Robert go to the gym together, but Phoebe is uncomfortable around him due to a past incident involving his body. They discuss their workout plans, but Phoebe avoids looking at him directly."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, don't we have to... Chandler Bing : Yeah, we got, um-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I think you're really, really great... Robert Bobby : Oh God! Here we go again. Why does this keep happening to me? Is it something I'm putting out there? Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts? Phoebe Buffay : I-I-I-I-I don't know, I don't know what to say. Gunther : Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house. Monica Geller : Ow! Richard Burke : Really?! Well, it's just like everyone else's apartment. It's got rooms, walls, and ceilings. Richard's Date : Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oh my God!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss something they need to do together, while Phoebe compliments Ross and Robert wonders if his bad luck is his fault. Gunther tells them to put a mouse back in the house, and Monica reacts to Richard's request for a tour of her apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Ah well, this is the living room. Richard's Date : Impressive. Richard Burke : All right. This is the kitchen. Richard's Date : Oh, that's real pretty. Wait a minute, don't I get to see the bedroom? Richard Burke : The bedroom. Well it's pretty much your typical... bedroom. Richard's Date : We're still on this side of the door. Richard Burke : Um-hmm. Richard's Date : Yeah, but I didn't get to see it. Richard Burke : Oh shoot! Maybe next time. Thanks for a lovely evening. Monica Geller : So um, who was she?", "summary": "Monica invites Richard on a date and shows him around her apartment, but he only takes her to the living room and kitchen before abruptly ending the date."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Oh, that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today. Monica Geller : Did you like her? And I'm just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this. Richard Burke : Well, you seem fine. Monica Geller : Okay, y'know what, I'm not fine, I'm not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... Y'know what, what if we're friends who don't see other people? Richard Burke : You mean like exclusive friends? Monica Geller : Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever. Richard Burke : Wow. Y'know we're back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothing's changed. Monica Geller : That's not true, you don't have a moustache. Richard Burke : Okay, okay, one thing's changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end. Monica Geller : Y'know what, I've got to walk out of here right now, 'cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I don't think I could do it again.", "summary": "Monica and Richard have a conversation about their feelings for each other, with Monica expressing her desire for them to be exclusive friends who don't see other people, while Richard makes it clear that he still wants to date other women. Despite Monica's efforts to convince him otherwise, Richard remains unchanged in his desires. The conversation ends with Monica walking out of the room, stating that she couldn't go through the pain of getting over Richard again."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : I know I couldn't. So.... Monica Geller : How 'bout one last game of racquetball? Monica Geller : Watch the thorns! Richard Burke : Ow!! Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Beth is really, really sick. Rachel Green : Awwww. Joey Tribbiani : Jo's there, but I don't think there's anything she could do. Rachel Green : Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah.", "summary": "Monica suggests playing one last game of racquetball with Richard, but he declines due to an injury. During the game, Richard gets hit in the face with a ball and yells in pain. Meanwhile, Rachel reveals that Beth is sick and Joey is trying to comfort her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Do you want to put the book in the freezer? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Singer : 'Cause every time I see your face, I can't help but fall from grace. I know..... Joey Tribbiani : Wow! This girl is good. Phoebe Buffay : Oh-ho yeah! A song with rhyming words. Oo, I never thought of that before. Chandler Bing : I like her. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time? Chandler Bing : Well, that's pretty much all I'm looking for from these people. Monica Geller : Look at you. All jealous.", "summary": "Rachel wants to put a book in the freezer, Joey agrees, and a singer sings a song about falling from grace every time they see someone's face. Phoebe thinks it's good, Chandler likes her because she can sing and play guitar at the same time, and Monica makes fun of them for being jealous."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, she's more.. y'know, and you're more Singer : beside meeeee-eeee-ee. . Phoebe Buffay : Okay, see, see, everyone else is happy she's done. Singer : Okay, my next song's called Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say. I Really Loved When We Were Singing Partners, And I Shouldn't Have Left You That Way. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, one of those 'look for the hidden meaning' songs. Singer : Hey Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Leslie, how'd you know I'd be here? Leslie : I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish, and he said you played here a lot, so umm.... Chandler Bing : All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. I'd like know whether that's several big fish or just one big fish. Joey Tribbiani : So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Singer are singing together, but their styles are different. Phoebe thinks everyone is happy that she's done with the singing, while Singer has a new song called \"Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say\" and expresses regret for leaving her in a bad way. Chandler Bing needs to go to the bathroom, but wonders if the place with big fish is multiple or singular. Meanwhile, Joey Tribbiani discovers that Phoebe writes jingles."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Actually I said she abandoned me to write jingles. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, anything we might of heard of? Leslie : Ah, yeah, umm. Home is never far away.. Joey Tribbiani : Home is Home Star stew. Leslie : Yeah, but, I don't do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldn't come up with anything good, so they fired me. Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, bummer. Leslie : Well, I y'know, I was just, umm, I was just thinking and hoping, that umm, maybe you'd want to get back together? Phoebe Buffay : No. But thanks. Leslie : Aw come on Phoebe would you just think about it? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. No. But thanks.", "summary": "Phoebe and Leslie used to write jingles together but Leslie got tired of it and was fired. Phoebe still wants to work with Leslie again despite Leslie's hesitation."}
-{"dialogues": "Leslie : Okay, ah, see ya Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, that was kinda brutal. Phoebe Buffay : Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, y'know. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. Can I have a tissue, please? Monica Geller : Yeah, sure. Gunther : Someone in there? Chandler Bing : No. This is just part of a dare devil game that I play called 'wait until the last moment before I burst and die.' Chandler Bing : Jeez, man did you fall.. Hi! So ah, did ya, did-did-did ya fall high? Woman : Someone was in the lady's room, I couldn't wait. I left the lid up for ya though. Chandler Bing : Y'know what Gunther, go ah, go ahead, I'm-I'm talking to ah, . This is the part where you say your name. Woman : Ginger.", "summary": "Leslie betrays Phoebe, who becomes icy and unyielding. Monica hands out tissues, while Chandler plays a game of \"wait until the last moment before I burst and die.\" Gunther offers to help, but Chandler declines. A woman named Ginger is seen leaving a note for someone in the ladies' room."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ginger. I'm talking to Ginger, so.... Ginger : Don't you have to use the bathroom? Chandler Bing : Nope, nope, I'd just ah, I'd rather talk to you. Yes, I do. Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom. Gunther : Someone in here. Phoebe Buffay : Where's Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, he can't make it, he said he had to his... Whoa-oh! Ginger : Joey? Joey Tribbiani? Ginger : Joey I can see you okay? You're hiding behind the coats. Joey Tribbiani : Phew, close one. Ross Geller : Hi.", "summary": "Chandler talks to Ginger while avoiding using the restroom, until Gunther interrupts them. Phoebe asks where Chandler is, and Joey tries to hide behind coats before being found by Ginger."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi, sweetie! Ross Geller : Hello. Mark Robinson : Hi, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah, huh. Rachel Green : I've got some bad news. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I have to come back up here. Ross Geller : Come on sweetie! You've had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time? Mark Robinson : Actually, it's kinda my fault. I-I quit today. Ross Geller : But work comes first! Oh hey, but that's sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?", "summary": "Rachel has some bad news and needs to return to her workplace after eating a quick bite. Ross is upset and tries to convince her to prioritize her well-being, but Mark reveals that he quit his job and is feeling guilty about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Nooo, he's leaving for a better job. Ross Geller : Oh well that's great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? Good bye. Mark Robinson : Okay, then. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Well we're gonna miss you around here. Mark Robinson : Yeah, me too. Mark Robinson : So, see ya on Saturday. Rachel Green : Yeah, you bet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : Y'know those are a delicacy in India.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel say goodbye to Mark who is leaving for a better job."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. That's the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie! Monica Geller : Wow, she must have hurt you pretty bad, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah. Y'know, we were best friends, ever since we were little, our Moms worked on the barge together. Monica Geller : Oh, you two must have been so cute running around on a barge. Phoebe Buffay : You never run on a barge! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Is ah, is Chandler around? Monica Geller : No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house. Joey Tribbiani : Oooh.", "summary": "Leslie calls Phoebe for the 20th time that day to see if they can get back together after being estranged since childhood."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, Ginger something. Joey Tribbiani : Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasn't something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer? Monica Geller : No, it was Ginger. I remember, because when he told me, I said, 'the movie star.' Joey Tribbiani : Aww, man. That's the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out he's my roommate, she's gonna tell him what I did. Monica Geller : Well, what did you do? Joey Tribbiani : What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I can't, I can't tell you that, it's like the most awful, horrible thing I've ever done my whole life. Monica Geller : Y'know what, don't tell us. We'll just wait until Chandler gets home, because it'll be more fun that way. Joey Tribbiani : All right!! Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dad's cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner.... Monica Geller : You gave her food poisoning!? Joey Tribbiani : I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani hid something horrible from his roommate Monica Geller, who presses him to reveal it until Chandler Bing returns home. Joey recounts a past weekend with ex-girlfriend Ginger, including a romantic dinner and sleeping in front of a fire. When he woke up, he threw what he thought was a log on the fire but it turned out to be something else."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! You threw Pepper on the fire! Joey Tribbiani : I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably should've told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a ah, artificial leg. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire? Joey Tribbiani : I ran!! Chandler Bing : Well, that's the best kiss I've had with anyone I've ever met in a men's room. Ginger : Actually, me too. Chandler Bing : Op, foot in a puddle, foot all in a puddle. Ginger : Oh damn, I hate that. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we're gonna have to get you out of those shoes. Ginger : Oh, don't worry about it.", "summary": "Ginger has an artificial leg and Joey throws it on a fire. They run away, and Chandler kisses her in a men's room."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, really you're gonna freeze. Ginger : No, I'm not. Chandler Bing : You're not, what do you, what do you got a bionic foot? Ginger : Some day, maybe. Rachel Green : Funny book? Ross Geller : Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying 'I'll see you Saturday.' Rachel Green : Yeah, at the lecture, I told you that last week, you said you didn't mind. Ross Geller : Oh, no, no, no, it's-it's not the lecture ah, I mind, umm.... Rachel Green : Oh, please tell me it's not because I'm going with Mark. Ross Geller : Oh, well...", "summary": "Ginger and Chandler argue over whether or not Ginger will freeze. Rachel mentions a funny book she read and Ross talks about something funny he heard. The conversation then shifts to Mark and a lecture, with Ross revealing that he does mind Rachel going with Mark."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God!!! Ross!! Ross Geller : Well, I'm sorry, but ah, look if you're not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him? Rachel Green : Because, he's my friend. Ross Geller : Okay, but do you really need another friend? I mean... Rachel Green : Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark? Ross Geller : Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing? Rachel Green : I don't know, you thought 'See you Saturday' was funny. Look honey, Mark is in fashion okay, I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with. You guys would never want to go to a lecture with me. Ross Geller : Pa-haa!! I would love to go with you. Rachel Green : Really!? Ross Geller : Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross argue about their respective friendships with Mark and Joey/Chandler. Rachel wants to continue playing with Mark, but Ross finds it amusing that she would drop her friendship with Joey/Chandler for a new person. They both agree to go to a lecture together despite their differences."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. What? Ross Geller : What should I wear, now I'm all nervous. Monica Geller : Y'know they say a watched pot never beeps. Phoebe Buffay : It's just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasn't called. Not that I even care, y'know. Monica Geller : Phoebe why don't you just call her? You obviously want to. Phoebe Buffay : You think you know me so well. Monica Geller : Well, don't 'cha wanna? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Okay, well I do know you. Phoebe Buffay : That's what I said.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross go to a dinner party together, but Ross becomes anxious about what to wear. Meanwhile, Monica and Phoebe discuss their lack of communication with Rachel after she failed to call them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well so? Phoebe Buffay : I can't. I can't. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was 'Okay, bye Pheebs' gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun I've ever had in like all my lives. Leslie : My best shoes, so good to me. I wear them everyday. Down at the heel, holes in the toes. Don't care what people say. My feet's best friends, pals to the end. With them I'm one hot chicky. Though late one night, not much light, I.... Phoebe Buffay : I stepped in something icky. Leslie : Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, always make me smile. Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, next time I'll.... avoid the..... pillleeeee. Lecturer : We're beginning to see a lot of layering of sheer fabrics and colours. For instance a sheer navy blouse over a pink.... Ross Geller : I'm really glad we came. You're so pretty. I love you. Rachel Green : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault. Leslie : Wow, that's great.", "summary": "Phoebe was dumped by someone she trusted and had fun playing with, but now she's sad. Leslie wears her best shoes every day despite their condition. On a dark night, Leslie almost stepped on something disgusting. The group talks about layering of fabrics and colors. Ross compliments Rachel's beauty, and Phoebe sings about Smelly Cat."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Leslie : Y'know you could totally sell this. It'd be perfect for like umm, a kitty litter campaign. Phoebe Buffay : I..., a jingle? No, no-no-no, no. Leslie : What? Why not? You could make a ton of money. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well if I was in this for the money, I'd be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie. Leslie : Aw, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : That's okay. All right, I'm gonna play song that's really, really sad. It's called Magician Box Mix Up. Lecturer : ....oversized bracelets, oversized earrings, oversizing of accessories in general are very popular now. Monica Geller : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe and Leslie discuss using a catchy tune for a kitty litter campaign. Phoebe dismisses the idea, stating that she wouldn't be in it for the money, and plays a sad song called \"Magician Box Mix Up.\" Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler greet each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, can I borrow this? My milk's gone bad. Chandler Bing : Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car. Monica Geller : So umm, how was your date with Ginger? Chandler Bing : Great. It was great. She's ah, she's great, great looking, great personality, she's greatness. Monica Geller : Sounds like she's got the ah, whole package. Chandler Bing : Joey told you about the leg, huh? Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldn't have, but it did. I mean I like her, I don't want to stop seeing her, but every so often it's like 'Hey, y'know what, where's your leg?' I mean I'm the smallest person in the world aren't I? I'm the smallest person in the world. Joey Tribbiani : Morning. Chandler Bing : Actually he's the smallest person in the world.", "summary": "Monica needs milk and borrows one from Chandler, who reveals he once stole a half and half. Monica asks about Chandler's date with Ginger, which he says was great but he's awkward about her leg. Joey joins and agrees that Chandler is the smallest person in the world."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Heard about the leg burnin' huh? Chandler Bing : It came up. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I ah, I know it's a longshot. But, by any chance did she find that funny? Ross Geller : So I nodded off a little. Rachel Green : Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My father's boat didn't make that much noise when it hit rocks! Ross Geller : Come on! Forty-five minutes! Forty-five minutes the man talked about strappy backed dresses. Rachel Green : Well okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and he's 'Hey everybody! Remember that thing that's been dead for a gazillion years. Well there's this little bone we didn't know it had!' Ross Geller : First of all it's Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didn't fly. Rachel Green : Okay, see now, what I just heard, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah, blah. Ross Geller : Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel attend a lecture by Professor Pittain on dinosaurs, during which Ross falls asleep and dreams of a movie called \"Jurassic Parka.\" Joey and Chandler discuss a woman's leg burn."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, that is so... Ross Geller : No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. Rachel Green : Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldn't go with Mark? Ross Geller : No. I... I wanted to be with you. I don't know, I feel like lately, I feel like you're slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and you've got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know it's dumb, but I hate that I'm not a part of it. Rachel Green : It's not dumb. But, maybe it's okay that you're not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? I mean it's like, I-I-I like that you're not involved in that part of my life. Ross Geller : That's a little clearer. Rachel Green : Honey see, it doesn't mean that I don't love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work it's-it's for me y'know, I'm out there, on my own, and I'm doing it and it's scary but I love it, because it's mine. I, but, I mean is that okay? Ross Geller : Sure, I-I-I... Ginger : Your thinking about my leg aren't you? Chandler Bing : No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?", "summary": "A bunch of jackets take over an island, and Ross feels left behind as Rachel pursues her work goals without him. They have a conversation about their feelings, but ultimately, Rachel makes it clear that she needs space to do her own thing, which Ross understands."}
-{"dialogues": "Ginger : It's okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is 'how much it bothers you?' because I don't like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time? Chandler Bing : No. No. I don't think so. Ginger : Okay. It's just like anything else, you just have to get used to it. Ginger : What's that? Chandler Bing : That's-that's my nubbin. Ginger : What's a nubbin? Chandler Bing : It's kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing. Ginger : You have three nipples? Chandler Bing : Well, y'know two regulars. And ah one that barely qualifies as... Ahh, what? Ginger : Nothing. I, I just remembered I have to leave.", "summary": "Ginger and Chandler have a conversation about something that bothers Ginger, with Chandler reassuring her that she's not wasting her time. Ginger then asks what something is, and Chandler reveals that it's a third nipple-like feature on his body. Ginger expresses surprise and then remembers she has to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You ah, you have, you have to leave, now? How come? Ginger : Ah well, it's nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, I'll see you later. Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I thought you weren't coming. What? Where were you? Leslie : Come here, come here. Okay, don't get mad, okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't give me a reason to get mad, okay Leslie : I played Smelly Cat for the people at my old ad agency, they went nuts. Phoebe Buffay : No, look, I told you that I didn't want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably would've done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I can't trust you then just forget it. Leslie : No, no, I don't want to forget it. Phoebe Buffay : Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we won't be partners. So what's it gonna be? Commercial : Problem odour in the litter box? Don't change your kitty, change your kitty litter.", "summary": "Phoebe and Leslie argue over Smelly Cat, with Phoebe feeling betrayed that Leslie sold it to her former ad agency without her permission. Leslie tries to explain himself, but Phoebe remains upset and ultimately decides to end their partnership. The conversation is interrupted by a commercial for a new product aimed at addressing litter box odor issues."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Sorry, Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. You okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-life's gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : We'd love too. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. 'Jingle bitch screwed me over! Go to hell jingle whore! Go to hell Go to hell. Go to hell-hell-hell.' That's all I have so far. Chandler Bing : Well hello! Joey Tribbiani : Where have you been? Chandler Bing : The doctor. Ross Geller : Is everything okay?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are talking about life's lessons and growing. Joey wants to hear a new song from Phoebe. Monica and Joey express interest in hearing it. Phoebe starts singing an angry song about someone named \"Jingle bitch\" who wronged her. Chandler returns after being away and asks where Joey has been. Ross inquires about Chandler's health."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Just had me a little nubbin-ectomy. Yep! Two nipples, no waiting. Monica Geller : Wow! It's like Rachel in High School. Rachel Green : What?!! Monica Geller : Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke! Chandler Bing : That was an obvious joke, and I didn't think of it. Why didn't I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives? Monica Geller : I won't give you anything, but you'll owe me 2.95. Joey Tribbiani : Done. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas! Monica Geller : Why? Do you have a report due?", "summary": "Chandler gets a nip snip, Rachel makes a high school reference, Joey wants to eat olives, Monica won't give him anything but will charge him 2.95, Phoebe needs an atlas for reasons unknown."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I don't know where his country is. Monica Geller : Okay, let's start with the free messages outside the UN. Phoebe Buffay : Oh!! That's my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace. Monica Geller : Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from? Phoebe Buffay : Ick-neck-tree-anis..... There's a 'g' in there. Monica Geller : Where's that? Phoebe Buffay : In your atlas! Monica Geller : I don't have an atlas. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : Oh, but wait I do have a globe.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nPhoebe meets a diplomat while giving free massages outside the UN and has a date with him. However, she cannot remember where his country is located. Monica tries to help Phoebe locate the country on a globe but fails."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : Hold on. Joey Tribbiani : So Pheebs what's this guy like? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well he's very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesn't speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me. Monica Geller : 'Kay, here you go. Phoebe Buffay : What is this? Monica Geller : It's a globe and, a pencil sharpener. Chandler Bing : Hey, does anybody need anything copied? I'm going down to the Xerox place. Monica Geller : Oh, no thanks. Chandler Bing : Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe meets a handsome and sophisticated man who doesn't speak English, but his translator says he understands her. Monica and Chandler discuss copying something at the Xerox store."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, if you don't have anything to copy, why are you going down there? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again? Chandler Bing : Yeah! You wanna come? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!! Issac : Can I help you? Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, y'know what, we're having second thoughts about our copying needs. And we'll need a little more time to think about it. Issac : Chloe, switch with me, there's some guys here that got a crush on you. Chandler Bing : Okay, that hurt us.", "summary": "The group goes to a store where a woman named Chloe works, and Joey and Chandler are interested in her due to her belly button ring. They ask Issac if they can copy her, but he denies their request. Joey and Chandler then express second thoughts about the copying task and need more time to think about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chloe : Hi guys. I haven't seen you since this morning. Chandler Bing : Well ah, ........y'know. Chloe : Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night? Joey Tribbiani : Both of us? Chloe : Maybe. Does that scare ya? Chloe : Relax. It's just Issac's D.J.-ing at the Philly. You should come. Joey Tribbiani : We'll be there. Chloe : Great. I'll ah, see ya then. Chandler Bing : All right, rock on. Sergei : ", "summary": "Chloe invites the gang to a party at Isaac's D.J.-ing at the Philly, but Joey and Chandler are hesitant."}
-{"dialogues": "Mischa : He's says, 'Walking with you makes this strange city, feel like home.' Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So that's dumb what I said, don't tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. Nice, thank you. This is me. Here. Mischa : Your eyes are very pretty. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you, very much! Oh! Thank you! Mischa : He would like to kiss you. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, y'know what, you don't have to do that now. No-no-no-no!! Not him, you don't! Well the moment's over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Mischa : Oy! Phoebe Buffay : See there it is right there. Monica Geller : Wow! It's small.", "summary": "Mischa and Phoebe are walking in a strange city together and feel at home due to each other's company. Mischa compliments Phoebe's eyes, and she declines his suggestion to kiss her. Monica interrupts and comments on the size of their group."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it. Monica Geller : So you had fun, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Except for, y'know when you're on a date and you're getting along really great but the guy's translator keeps getting in the way. Monica Geller : No. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : What is ah, Rach in her room? Monica Geller : Oh no, she's still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her. Ross Geller : Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesn't she know it's our anniversary? Monica Geller : All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. Call Rachel.", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss their plans for their anniversary while Phoebe shares a story about a date that went wrong due to a language barrier."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What's that on the bottom? Monica Geller : Oh that's my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. She's fancy. Rachel Green : Hello. Ross Geller : Hey, honey. Rachel Green : Oh, hi. Ross Geller : Hey, what's going on? Rachel Green : Well, there was a disaster in shipping and I've got to get this order in. Honey, I'm so sorry, but it looks like I'm gonna be here all night. Ross Geller : What, do you, well umm, oh how about I come up there? Rachel Green : No-no-no, no, honey please, I've got, I've just have so much to deal with. Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, I'm going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translator's date? So that when we, it's time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, he's really, he's kinda cute.", "summary": "Ross tries to impress Rachel by offering to help her with a work emergency, but she declines and invites Phoebe to be his date instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, don't call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry! Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what, maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, 10:30. Chandler Bing : What time is it now? Joey Tribbiani : 4:30. Chandler Bing : Yeah all right, so we'll hang out. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us? Chandler Bing : Yes. Vividly. Joey Tribbiani : She was kidding about that right?", "summary": "The group plans to meet someone at 10:30 but it's currently 4:30. They recall a previous conversation where someone brought up the idea of the three of them being together, but they are unsure if it was meant seriously or not."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, I-I-I think so. Yeah, I-I think so... Joey Tribbiani : God, that would be weird it that situation presented itself tonight, huh? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Yeah, I mean what, what would we do? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I don't know. Chandler Bing : She was kidding. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : She was.... But y'know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you don't want to be doing something and then look up and see something you don't want to be seeing. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... Joey Tribbiani : Ah!! Okay! Eyes open at all times! Oh, hey, how do we decide where we... y'know each would, y'know be?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey contemplate a bizarre scenario where they are in a room with a woman who is invisible to everyone except them. They come up with ground rules for interacting with her, including never opening their eyes. However, Chandler then considers the possibility of his hands being out without him realizing it, leading to a new rule: always keep one's hands visible."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Right. Right. Well ah, y'know we could flip for it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess, but what's like heads and what's tails? Chandler Bing : Well it you don't know that, then I don't want to do this with you. Rachel Green : No, no, no, I'm looking at a purchase order right here and it clearly states that we ordered the Rivera bikini in a variety of sizes and colours. And.... What does it matter, what I'm wearing?! Can I please speak to your supervisor? Thank you. We're holding. Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Oh!! My God, what are you doing here? Ross Geller : Well you said you couldn't go out so.... Sophie : You brought a picnic, oh, what a boyfriend. That's it, on Monday I start wearing make-up. Rachel Green : Ross honey, this is very nice, but, but I-I got a crisis. Ross Geller : Yeah, but I got cous-cous!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group tries to flip a coin for something, but Joey doesn't know heads or tails. Chandler refuses to participate without knowing the basics. Rachel receives a purchase order for bikinis and demands to speak to a supervisor. Ross shows up unexpectedly with a picnic. Sophie plans to start wearing makeup."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Honey, honey, I'm sorry, I know it's our anniversary but I told you on the phone I don't have time to stop. Ross Geller : Okay, you don't have to stop, I'm invisible, I'm not here. Rachel Green : But I don't, hmm... Oh, who approved that order?! Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. Get me Mark on the phone! Sophie : I love Mark. Do you know Mark? Ross Geller : Yeah!! Rachel Green : Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I... Ross Geller : Pepper? Rachel Green : None for me. Ross Geller : Okay sorry, whew. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and I'm sorry but that's... Oh my God!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are celebrating their anniversary, but Rachel doesn't have time to stop because she has work to do. Ross becomes invisible and tries to get her attention, but Rachel can't see him. They discuss who approved an order, and Rachel mentions a Mark Robinson. Sophie loves Mark and asks if Ross knows him, and Ross confirms that he does. The conversation continues with Rachel checking the store number and apologizing for incorrect information."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, that's a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Rachel Green : Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to call you back, I've got a Schemp in my office. What are you doing? Ross Geller : I'm sorry. But ah, hey, oh, somebody's off the phone, how 'bout a glass of wine by the fire, I could get it going again. Rachel Green : Ross you're not listening to me, I don't have time to stop. Ross Geller : Come on Rach, you don't have what, ten minutes? Rachel Green : I don't have ten minutes!! Ross Geller : What? Sophie, does she have ten minutes? Rachel Green : Hey, Ross!!! I told you I don't! Ross Geller : Don't yell at me okay, this is the most I've seen you all week. Rachel Green : Look, I cannot do this right now, okay, I've got a deadline, would you just go home, I'll talk to you later.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about something, but Ross keeps getting distracted by other things, including a fire and a Schemp in his office. Rachel tries to explain something to Ross, but he doesn't listen and instead offers to get her a glass of wine by the fire. When Rachel tells him she doesn't have time, Ross becomes frustrated and starts yelling at her. The conversation ends with Rachel telling Ross to go home and they will talk later."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, but wait... Rachel Green : Good bye! Sophie : Actually, that's our three hole punch. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi. Look um, about what happened earlier... Ross Geller : No, hey, well, I-I completely understand. You were, you were stressed. Rachel Green : I was gonna give you a chance to apologise to me. Ross Geller : For what? For letting you throw me out of your office? Rachel Green : You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebody's work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger! Ross Geller : Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have an argument at her office, leading to Rachel throwing Ross out. They argue about Ross bringing a picnic basket to her work without permission."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : But I told you, I didn't have the time! Ross Geller : Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I don't feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel. Rachel Green : Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend? Ross Geller : No, but it'd be nice if you realised, it's just a job! Rachel Green : Just a job! Ross Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I'm doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I'm doing something that I'm actually good at. I mean. if you don't get that... Ross Geller : No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I'm happy for ya, but I'm tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don't know what to do anymore. Rachel Green : Well neither do I! Ross Geller : Is this about Mark?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their relationship, with Ross expressing frustration that Rachel never has time for him and Rachel revealing that she is passionate about her job for the first time in her life. The conversation ends with Ross stating that he is tired of having a relationship with Rachel's answering machine and Rachel admitting that she doesn't know what to do anymore."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : Okay, it's not, it's not. Rachel Green : Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you're, you're, you're making this too hard. Ross Geller : Oh I'm, I'm making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do. Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, fine, you're right. Let's ah, let's take a break, let's cool off, okay, let's get some frozen yogart, or something.. Rachel Green : No. A break from us. Chloe : And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71. Chloe : Hey, it's the dinosaur guy. Hi, Ross. Ross Geller : Oh, hi Chloe.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross argue about their relationship, with Rachel expressing frustration at their ongoing fights and Ross suggesting they take a break. Meanwhile, Chloe discusses advances in collating technology with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Chloe : I want you to met some friends of mine. This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we don't do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say 'let's Ross it!' Chandler Bing : And that's the only colour that comes in. Issac : Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine? Chloe : Oh! Chandler Bing : So, what are you doing here? I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner. Ross Geller : Yeah, little change in plans. Ahh, we're gonna break-up instead. Monica Geller : Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Why? What did I say? Mischa : Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight. Monica Geller : Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice. Phoebe Buffay : Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are getting back together for their anniversary dinner, but things change when Ross decides to break up with her instead. Chandler and Joey meet new friends who want to blow something up 400%, leading to a series of comedic misunderstandings. Monica tries to impress a French man by speaking French, while Phoebe is fascinated by an article in the New York Times."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You didn't say Boutros Boutros Gali. Mischa : Boutros Boutros Gali. Mischa : He says he was too. Phoebe Buffay : Interesting. Mischa : So I was wondering.... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, ah, before you get all talky again, umm, could you also please tell Sergei that I really like his suit. Mischa : Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. So you're a chef? Monica Geller : I'm also thinking about opening up my own restaurant. Mischa : Oh, really. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. What are you doing?", "summary": "* Phoebe and Mischa have a conversation about Boutros Boutros Gali.\n* Monica enters the conversation and mentions that she is thinking about opening her own restaurant.\n* Phoebe asks Monica to talk in private about her menu."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, I was having a conversation. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah but, Mischa is so interested in you, that Sergei and I haven't been able to say two words to each other. Monica Geller : What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation? Phoebe Buffay : That would be great. Thank you. Rachel Green : Hello! Mark Robinson : Oh, hi. It's Mark. Rachel Green : Oh. Mark Robinson : What? Is it my breath? Rachel Green : No! Sorry, I just thought you were somebody else. Hi! Mark Robinson : Hi. Well, look, I was just gonna leave a message, isn't tonight your, your big anniversary dinner?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss Mischa's interest in Monica, while Rachel interrupts to ask Mark about an anniversary dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Well, umm..... Mark Robinson : Rach, are you okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm fine. Mark Robinson : You wanna talk, I mean I can come over? Rachel Green : No! Really, no, please, please, that's, that's okay. Mark Robinson : All right, all right, I'm coming over, and I'm bringing Chinese food. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, I'm not, I'm not hungry. Mark Robinson : It's for me. Rachel Green : Oh. Okay, bye. Joey Tribbiani : So what are you gonna do?", "summary": "Mark Robinson goes to Rachel Green's apartment after she tells him she's not okay and offers to bring Chinese food. She insists she's not hungry, and he leaves. Joey Tribbiani asks what Mark did."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What can I do? One person wants to break-up, you break-up. Chandler Bing : Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out. Ross Geller : Oh come on, we just had this huge fight, all right, don't I have to wait a while? Chandler Bing : Hey, this isn't like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!! Chandler Bing : Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, tell that to my Uncle Lenny. Chandler Bing : Why? What happened to him? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing, he's just really believes in that. Rachel Green : Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I don't want to take a break. Mark Robinson : Wow. I'm sorry. Eggroll?", "summary": "Break-up fight between Ross and someone; Chandler tries to mediate but fails; Joey dismisses swimming myth; Rachel recounts stupid fight and wants break; Mark offers eggroll."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No. And then I called him, and he wasn't there. Mark Robinson : Well, then he's, he's probably just, out. Rachel Green : Oh, thank you that's very helpful, I'm glad you came over. Rachel Green : Hello. Ross Geller : Hi! It's me. Rachel Green : Hi! Oh, I'm so glad you called. Ross Geller : Really? I've been thinking, this is crazy, I mean don't, don't you think we can work on this? Mark Robinson : Hey, what do you want to drink? Ross Geller : Who's that? Rachel Green : Nobody.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about why he called her and she wasn't there. Mark Robinson joins them and offers to get drinks. Ross expresses confusion about their relationship and wonders if they can work on it."}
-{"dialogues": "Mark Robinson : Is it okay if I finish the apple juice? Ross Geller : Is that Mark? Rachel Green : Umm, honey, look he just came over to.... Ross Geller : Yeah! Got it! Chloe : Hey, dinosaur guy, look at you, so sad. Come dance. Ross Geller : Ah, that's okay, thanks. Chloe : Hey, you don't have to smile. You just have to dance. Ross Geller : Look, I don't feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay? Chloe : Oh, okay. Hey, two beers. Mischa : And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.", "summary": "Ross and Mark share an apple juice, while Ross talks to Chloe on the phone. Chloe invites Ross to dance, but he declines and prefers to drink instead. Later, Mischa says goodbye to his dog in multiple languages over the phone as his mother holds the phone to the dog's ear."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh. Can I have a tissue? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, sure. I just hope you, hope you don't accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it. Mischa : Sergei, would like to apologise for my behaviour tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Well, tell him, apology accepted. Mischa : Oh, he's unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! You silly diplomat, why don't you learn some English, Sergei? Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, but umm, isn't he paying for your dinner? Monica Geller : Hey, the man's dog just died. Mischa : I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons. Monica Geller : It will be my pleasure. My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy can't even say coupons. Sergei : Uh, plate?", "summary": "Mischa apologizes for his behavior and offers to take Monica and Phoebe to the Rainbow Room. Monica's boyfriend has diplomatic coupons and Mischa can't say \"coupons.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Plate! Yes, plate. Sergei : Plate. Plate. Plate. Phoebe Buffay : See, we don't need them. Sergei : Plate? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Ross Geller : I like this song. Chloe : Well, you're practically dancing already. Why don't you just do it over here? Ross Geller : Oh, no, no. Chloe : What? Are you married? 'Cause that's okay. Rachel Green : Oh, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home. Be home. Be home, be home, be home. Oh, you're not home.", "summary": "Plate conversation between Phoebe and Sergei, with Ross and Chloe joining in. Phoebe doesn't want plates, while Sergei insists they are needed. Rachel interjects with her signature catchphrase \"be home.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chloe : Still no smile? Sergei : Touchet, touchet, Miss Americccan pie. Ameri-ccan. Phoebe Buffay : Ameri-can. Sergei : Ameri-ccan. Phoebe Buffay : Ameri-can. Y'know it's a very hard language. Let's do it again. Sergei : Everybody!! Ross Geller : I mean, I don't feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore. Rachel Green : You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like you've got a girlfriend? Ross Geller : Is this about Mark? Rachel Green : Oh my God.", "summary": "Ross feels insecure about his relationship with Rachel after she quits her job to be with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, it's not, it's not. Rachel Green : Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break. Ross Geller : Fine, you're right. Let's ah, let's take a break, let's cool off, okay, let's get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. Rachel Green : No. A break from us. Rachel Green : Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I don't want to take a break. Ross Geller : I've been thinking, this is crazy, I mean don't, don't you think we can work on this? Mark Robinson : Hey, what do you want to drink? Ross Geller : Who's that? Rachel Green : Nobody. Ross Geller : Is that Mark?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a fight about taking a break in their relationship. They argue and eventually decide to take a break, but Rachel changes her mind and wants to work on their issues instead. Meanwhile, Mark enters the scene and offers to get drinks with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Umm, honey, look he just came over to.... Ross Geller : Yeah! Got it! Chloe : Hey, come dance. What? Are you married? 'Cause that's okay. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Monica Geller : How's the big anniversary dinner? Rachel Green : Well, we never actually got to dinner. Monica Geller : Ohhh, nice. Rachel Green : No, we kinda broke up instead. Monica Geller : What?!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a date, but it ends in break-up."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : God, Monica it's on the ceiling. Monica Geller : That's okay, this is more important than fruit on my ceiling! You broke up?! Rachel Green : Yeah, but it's okay, because when Ross left Mark came over. Monica Geller : Oh no!! Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Rachel, you and Mark?! Rachel Green : No, no-no, it's okay, calm down. Mark and I talked, and I realised how much I love your stupid brother, and, yeah, we got our problems, but I really want to make it work. Chloe : Morning! Rachel Green : Hi, it's me. I've been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid. Ross Geller : Yeah!!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss their recent breakups, with Rachel revealing that she and Mark had a conversation and she realized she still has feelings for Ross despite previously breaking up with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Eh, I'm just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I don't want to get back together over a machine. Ross Geller : Na-huh. Rachel Green : So, I love you. Ross Geller : I love you. Rachel Green : And y'know what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to bed now, but ah, on my way to work tomorrow morning, I'm gonna stop by around 8:30. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Bye. Ross Geller : Chloe, Chloe how's it coming?!! Chloe : Hey, what kind of puppy do you think I should get? Ross Geller : Umm, oh, hey, I don't know. How about a big one?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about getting back together, but they both ultimately decide against it over a machine. Rachel says she loves Ross and will stop by to see him on her way to work the next morning. Meanwhile, Ross talks to Chloe about getting a puppy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chloe : But my apartment is so... Ross Geller : Well then a small one!! Listen, let's, we kinda have to get going! Chloe : Wait! Where's my shoes? Ross Geller : You, you sure you need shoes? Okay. Chloe : Do I know why we're rushing? Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!! Chloe : That's so great for you guys! Ross Geller : Yeah! Chloe : You must be so happy! Ross Geller : Yes, yes I am, one of the many things I'm feeling. Well....", "summary": "Ross and Chloe are in a rush to leave her apartment, with Ross finding her shoes along the way. It is revealed that Ross's ex-girlfriend wants to get back together with him, causing Ross to feel a mix of emotions."}
-{"dialogues": "Chloe : Good luck, with your girlfriend. Ross Geller : Oh, thank you. Hey, hey. Rachel!!!! Rachel Green : Hi. Ohhh, you got my message. Ross Geller : Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time. Rachel Green : So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again? Ross Geller : Yes, you can, very much. Ross Geller : Ahhhh!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about being in a relationship again."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, there's banana on it. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine. Monica Geller : So then you know? Phoebe Buffay : The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail. Monica Geller : Oh, good. Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Now what is Fabutec? Monica Geller : Okay, all right don't judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing.... Phoebe Buffay : Waxine!! Monica Geller : Yes! Have you seen it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss a mailman, then Monica talks about an infomercial she saw on leg waxing called \"Waxine.\" Both women express interest in trying it out."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know!! Phoebe Buffay : God. Do think it really doesn't hurt? 'Cause how can they do that? Monica Geller : Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest! Phoebe Buffay : They have the best stuff in there. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. We figured when we couldn't find you, you'd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh? Ross Geller : You think?! God, I, ah, I'm in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachel's all like, 'I love you and, and let's work on this.' And all I can think about is, 'What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say?' when I tell her what I did. Chandler Bing : Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you? Ross Geller : What?! Look, we're trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other? Joey Tribbiani : Look, Ross look, I'm on board about this totally honesty thing, I am, just not about stuff that's gonna get you in trouble.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying to work on their relationship, but Ross is struggling with honesty and fear of hurting Rachel's feelings. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler discover organic substances in the rainforest, and Joey tries to help Ross navigate his emotions."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : He's right. Nobody's gonna benefit, and you're just gonna hurt her. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and there won't be a relationship left to rebuild. Ross Geller : Yeah, but don't you think.... Chandler Bing : All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay. Joey Tribbiani : All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesn't find out some other way. Did you think about the trail? Ross Geller : What trail? Joey Tribbiani : The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! You always have to think about the trail! Ross Geller : Oh, I-I don't think there's any trail. Chandler Bing : Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issac's sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebe's friends with Rachel. And that's the trail, I did it!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey discuss revealing a secret to Rachel, while Ross adds his own concerns. They agree to wait until the timing is right, but Joey worries about the potential consequences of Rachel finding out through other means. The group considers the possibility of a trail leading from one person to another, highlighting their web of connections and potential risks."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one, Monica Geller : Did that! Phoebe Buffay : Grasp one of the linen strips by its 'easy grab tab' and pull it off in one quick pain free motion. Monica Geller : Okay. Ow!!!!! Ow-oh-oh! Phoebe Buffay : Was it not pain-free? Monica Geller : No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with a little wax. Phoebe Buffay : Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial don't seem to think it's that bad. Monica Geller : That's because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you don't believe me, please, by my guest. Phoebe Buffay : Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!! Monica Geller : Now, are you glad we didn't start with the bikini strips?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Two friends attempt to remove unwanted body hair using a new product, but it becomes painful for one of them. The other friend suggests starting with smaller areas, but the first friend disagrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Chloe? Hi.. Chloe : Is this about me taking your watch? Ross Geller : You took my watch? Chloe : I'm sorry, I do that. Ross Geller : Just you keep it, listen did you, did you tell anyone about us? Chloe : Oh no. I feel it isn't really anybody's business, y'know. Ross Geller : Exactly. So you didn't, didn't mention anything to Issac right? Chloe : Oh, well I tell Issac everything. Ross Geller : You tell, of course you do. Issac. Issac. Hey, Issac. Issac, hi! Y'know we haven't actually met... Issac : You dog!", "summary": "Chloe took Ross's watch without permission, and when Ross confronted her about it, Chloe revealed that she had also confided in someone else about their secret relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend. Issac : Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's the one. Listen, I don't want to hurt her. Issac : Oh, hey, man I know, doesn't matter how much we love 'em, monogamy is too cruel a rule. Ross Geller : Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself? Issac : Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. We're the same, you and me. Ross Geller : Actually, no, we're not. Issac : Yeah, we are. Ross Geller : No, we're not. Issac : Yeah, we are.", "summary": "Ross reveals he is a dog but has a girlfriend; Isaac agrees, saying monogamy is cruel. They discuss keeping the information private."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, we're not!! Issac : Okay, we're not. Ross Geller : Right. Issac : But, we are. Ross Geller : Fine. I just need to know that you're not gonna tell your sister. Issac : I can promise not to tell her again. Ross Geller : Jasmine? Jasmine : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : We met at Phoebe's birthday party, I'm, I'm Ross Geller. Jasmine : You did a bad thing!", "summary": "Ross and Isaac argue about whether or not they are friends. Ross is worried that Isaac will tell his sister Jasmine about their conversation, so he asks Isaac to promise not to tell her. However, Jasmine interrupts them and confronts Ross about something he did at Phoebe's birthday party."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes, I did. Jasmine : Very bad! Ross Geller : Very bad. Jasmine : Very, very bad. Ross Geller : I'm agreeing with you. Did you, listen, did you happen to tell Phoebe yet? Jasmine : No. Ross Geller : Okay, Jasmine, please, please don't. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay? Jasmine : All right. Ross Geller : Thank you, thank you. Jasmine : But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.", "summary": "Ross confesses to agreeing with Jasmine that his relationship with his girlfriend Phoebe is \"very bad.\" He asks if she has told anyone else about their breakup, and when she says no, he begs her not to tell his roommate Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Who's your roommate? Ross Geller : Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didn't say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place. Gunther : I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to? Monica Geller : Ow! Phoebe Buffay : Oh!! Monica Geller : Ow!! Ow!! Phoebe Buffay : Ow!!! Monica Geller : Ow!!!!!!! Ow-ow-ow-ow! Phoebe Buffay : We're all right. Monica Geller : It's okay, it's okay.", "summary": "Ross and Gunther discuss something related to Rachel, while Monica and Phoebe react in pain."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : We're all right. Monica Geller : We were just waxing our legs. Chandler Bing : Off?!! Phoebe Buffay : For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well I don't think you can make that statement, unless you've been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, that's all. I mean, come on, it's just a little wax. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, come here. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's mature. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, fine, so now what, I just pull it off? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh.", "summary": "Waxing their legs leads to a painful and hilarious conversation among Friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's right. Ross Geller : Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!! Rachel Green : I can't talk to you. I can't even look at you right now! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing, nothing. Monica Geller : Rachel said everything was okay. Phoebe Buffay : What, what are they talking about? Ross Geller : Rachel? Rachel Green : Just get away from me! Ross Geller : No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?", "summary": "Ross makes a mistake and tries to talk to Rachel, but she won't look at him or talk to him. Monica and Chandler try to stay out of it, while Phoebe wonders what's going on."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?! Phoebe Buffay : Whe-where did he put it?! Rachel Green : Ross, you had sex with another woman! Monica Geller : Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk.... Monica Geller : Oh!! You guys knew about this and you didn't tell us?! Chandler Bing : He has sex, and we get hit in our heads. Rachel Green : Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here! Ross Geller : No!!", "summary": "Ross had sex with another woman, causing a confrontation with his friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Just get out! Now!! Ross Geller : No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this. Rachel Green : Okay! All right! How was she? Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Was she good? Joey Tribbiani : Don't answer that. Rachel Green : Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, let's talk about it!! How was she? Ross Geller : She was... Joey Tribbiani : Awful! Horrible!", "summary": "Ross wants to stay and talk about his ex-girlfriend, but Rachel insists he leave. Chandler and Joey try to avoid discussing Ross's ex, but Ross persists in talking about her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : She was not good. Not good. Joey Tribbiani : She was nothing compared to you. Ross Geller : She, she was different. Joey Tribbiani : Ewwwww! Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Rachel Green : Good different? Ross Geller : Nobody likes change. Ross Geller : What? Okay, okay, okay, okay. Phoebe Buffay : Should we do something? Chandler Bing : Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.", "summary": "Rachel was not good enough for them, and they made fun of her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible. Rachel Green : Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?! Ross Geller : Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me! Rachel Green : And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!! Ross Geller : Look, I didn't think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up. Rachel Green : We were on a break! Ross Geller : That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a break-up. Rachel Green : You think you're gonna get out of this on a technicality? Ross Geller : Look, I'm not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead! Rachel Green : Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discover that Ross's ex-wife was in his apartment while they were together, leading to a confrontation about their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what, I don't think we should listen to this anymore. Monica Geller : What, what are you doing? You can't go out there. Joey Tribbiani : Why not?! I'm hungry. Monica Geller : Because they'll know we've been listening. Rachel Green : God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!! Ross Geller : Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didn't happen! Rachel Green : Oh, that is so sweet. I think I'm falling in love with you all over again. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we'll be fine. Ross Geller : Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.", "summary": "Joey and Monica don't want to listen to a conversation they overheard, while Rachel is impressed by Ross's efforts to prevent it from getting out. Chandler convinces Joey and Ross to go out despite their reservations."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Wax the door shut, we're never leaving, ever. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, it's Phoebe. Listen someone's gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, 'cause it's like 9:15 now, and I'm not there. Ross Geller : Don't you realise none of this would've ever happened if I didn't think at that same moment you weren't having sex with Mark? Rachel Green : All right. Let's say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me? Ross Geller : Yes I would. Rachel Green : You'd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me? Ross Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were.... Ross Geller : La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because it's, I mean it's you. #ALL# : Ohhhhh!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about their past; Phoebe has a problem with her 9pm appointment with Mr. Rehack; Chandler doesn't want to leave his door shut."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Come on Rach, tell me what you're thinking? Rachel Green : I'm thinking, I'm gonna order a pizza. Ross Geller : Order a pizza like, 'I forgive you?' Joey Tribbiani : Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. Put olives on the pizza. Phoebe Buffay : We could eat the wax! It's organic. Chandler Bing : Oh great, food with hair on it. Phoebe Buffay : No, not the used wax. Chandler Bing : Because that would be crazy? Ross Geller : Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because I'm kinda hungry myself. Rachel Green : Fine. Hi! Yes, I'd like to order a large pizza.", "summary": "Rachel orders a pizza and Ross jokes about it, while Joey expresses his love for pizza with olives. Phoebe suggests eating wax, which Chandler dismisses as crazy. The group decides to order a large pizza."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No anchovies. Rachel Green : With ah, extra anchovies. Ross Geller : That's okay, I'll just pick 'em off. Rachel Green : Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce? Ross Geller : You can have the last piece, if you want. Rachel Green : Well, I should think so. You slept with someone. Phoebe Buffay : They're gonna get through this, aren't they? Chandler Bing : Yeah, come on, it's Ross and Rachel, they've got too. Monica Geller : What if they don't? Joey Tribbiani : You think I need a new walk?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over anchovies on pizza, leading to tension between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well y'know, I've been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a 'take notice' walk. Chandler Bing : Are you actually saying these words? Ross Geller : What, now you're not even taking to me? Look Rachel, I-I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought I'd lost you, I didn't know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I don't cheat right, I, that's not me, I'm not Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-ho-ho! Yeah, okay. Monica Geller : Hey. It's three in the morning. They don't know that I've come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, y'know, people can be so self-involved. Ross Geller : Y'know what, y'know what, I'm-I'm not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. You're the one that bailed on us. You're the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough! Rachel Green : That's.... Ross Geller : That's what?!", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss their walking styles in high school, while Chandler questions Ross about his apology. Monica returns home unnoticed by her friends, who are too focused on their own issues to notice her arrival. Phoebe observes that people can be self-involved, and Ross accuses Rachel of running away when things got tough in their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : That is neither here nor there. Ross Geller : Okay, well here we are. Now we're in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? Look, I, I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And I'm sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I just can't see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much. Rachel Green : No Ross!! Don't! You can't just kiss me and think you're gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesn't work that way. It doesn't just make it better. Okay? Ross Geller : Okay, okay, okay. Rachel Green : I think you should go. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I really think you need to go now. Ross Geller : Okay, okay. This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldn't work past it together... Rachel Green : Yeah, what the hell did I know! Ross Geller : Look, look, there's got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, I can't imagine, I can't imagine my life without you. Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, and, and....", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are in a difficult situation, trying to figure out how to handle it together. Ross confesses that he made a huge mistake, and Rachel is upset and hurt by his actions. They argue and ultimately decide that it's best for Ross to leave, as they cannot work through their problems at the moment. Despite their love for each other, they are unable to overcome their current difficulties."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No. I can't, you're a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just can't stop picturing with her, I can't, it doesn't matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It's just changed, everything. Forever. Ross Geller : Yeah, but this can't be it, I mean. Rachel Green : Then how come it is? Phoebe Buffay : They've been quiet for a long time. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe she killed him? Chandler Bing : Let's go. Chandler Bing : Is that your new walk? Joey Tribbiani : No, I really have to pee. Joey Tribbiani : Can I see the comics? Chandler Bing : This is the New York Times.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross's relationship has changed forever after he kissed her sister, Monica. Rachel struggles to reconcile their past differences and current situation. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Joey speculate about Ross's whereabouts and Chandler tries out a new walk."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, may I see the comics? Monica Geller : Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game? Chandler Bing : We are. He's meeting us here. Monica Geller : No! Rachel is meeting us here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh come on, they can be in the same room. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you shoulda been there last night. Phoebe Buffay : Why? What happened now? Joey Tribbiani : Well Ross was hangin' out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler.... Chandler Bing : Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something. Joey Tribbiani : Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue at a game, while Monica and Chandler meet there with Joey and Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wait. Why was he yelling at her? He's the one who slept with someone else. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now. Phoebe Buffay : Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first you're really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow. Chandler Bing : Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy.... Joey Tribbiani : I had the same dream! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I had the opposite dream. Chandler Bing : Y'know what maybe it's gonna be okay, I mean it's been a week. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I mean it's never taken me a week to get over a relationship.", "summary": "Ross yells at Rachel for sleeping with someone else while they were on a break, but Rachel feels that she has forgiven him by now. Joey and Phoebe agree that Ross is unreasonable, but also understand his perspective. Chandler compares the situation to his parents' divorce, and Phoebe shares a dream where Ross and Rachel are still together. Joey and Phoebe both had the same dream, and they hope that everything will be okay in the end."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship. Monica Geller : Okay, let's go!! Let's hit the road!! Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Let's get the show on it! Rachel Green : Okay, let me just get a cup of coffee. Monica Geller : Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and it's sooo close. Rachel Green : Closer than here? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, look, I found coffee! Okay, let's skedaddle. Rachel Green : Wait, I'm not just gonna drink somebody's old coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, your highness.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel go on a road trip, while Phoebe joins them and finds an unexpected source of coffee."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Um, Rachel I'm really sorry. That's okay, do you wanna get back together? Yeah, okay. Did anyone else hear that?! Rachel Green : Is he here? Chandler Bing : No. Rachel Green : Oh. Here's your moisturiser. Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. Okay, I said that out loud right? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes, it's just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross. Rachel Green : Oh, well okay. Well, there you go. Phoebe Buffay : No, it's just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out. Rachel Green : Hm-mm.", "summary": "Rachel invites Phoebe and Monica to a lingerie show on Thursday night, but Chandler has already made plans with Ross. Phoebe suggests checking out Ross's new home theater system instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, he's really excited about it too, he even recorded show times on his answering machine. Rachel Green : Ohh! Monica Geller : We're sorry honey. Rachel Green : Oh, it's okay. Joey Tribbiani : Rach, it's, it's ah, it's not that we don't want to, really. Are we talking models in their underwear? Rachel Green : And heels. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside. Rachel Green : No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, that's only fair. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh boy, do I feel bad. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel find out that Chandler recorded TV show times on his answering machine, and they apologize for not inviting them to a viewing party. Joey and Ross argue over who asked whom to watch the shows, and Phoebe feels bad for causing tension between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Very bad. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler what are you doing?! Monica Geller : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : You're smoking again?! Chandler Bing : Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm, I'm smoking still. Phoebe Buffay : Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum? Chandler Bing : Look, I'm telling you this is just like my parents divorce, which is when I started smoking in the first place. Monica Geller : Weren't you nine?! Chandler Bing : Yeahhh. I'm tellin' ya something, that ah, first smoke after nap time....", "summary": "Chandler starts smoking again after quitting with gum, which he began during his parents' divorce. Monica and Phoebe are confused and concerned about this."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh that's great, with my luck, that's gonna be him. Phoebe Buffay : Him? Him, Ross? Chandler Bing : Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. Rachel Green : Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? I'm asking you first, right?!. I mean I'm playing by the rules. #ALL# : Absolutely, yeah! Rachel Green : Chandler! You're smoking? What are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Hey, shut up!! You're not my real Mom!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here! Phoebe Buffay : Wait. Really?! 'Cause mine get me out of tickets. Ross Geller : Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. It's been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.", "summary": "Ross has an appreciation for his friends and wants to spend time with them despite having a difficult time. Chandler uses humor as a defense mechanism after his parents got divorced. Rachel suggests using her sister's cabin for the weekend to go skiing. Joey makes a comment about his nipples being able to cut glass. Phoebe reveals that her nipples get her out of tickets."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window. Ross Geller : Oh hey, hey, huh, how about this weekend we have a laser disc marathon okay, and maybe a tournament on my new dart board? Huh, huh, what do you think? Two days of darts, it'll be great! Joey Tribbiani : It'll be great for next weekend. Ross Geller : No, no, no, this weekend guys! Joey Tribbiani : It'll be great for next weekend. I mean, it'll be grrreat. Ross Geller : What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachel's sister's cabin. Ross Geller : So, for the whole weekend? Monica Geller : We're really sorry, but um, she did ask us first. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend I'm alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.", "summary": "Ross wants to host a laser disc marathon and darts tournament this weekend, but Joey and Chandler are not interested. Phoebe suggests they go skiing at Rachel's sister's cabin, but Ross is left alone."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, I can stay, I'm gonna stay. 'Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmother's cab, but y'know what, I'll stay. Monica Geller : Noo! I'll stay. He's my brother. Ross Geller : What a pity stay? Monica Geller : No! We're gonna have fun. We can make fudge! Ross Geller : Pity food? Y'know what that's okay, all right, I don't need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays. Chandler Bing : Well, then, I might as well offer to stay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross? Monica Geller : Why? Do you think he's still mad at us? Chandler Bing : Well he's probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends decide to go on a ski trip together, but Ross is hesitant to join them due to a previous incident where he was left behind by the group. Monica offers to stay with him, but he declines. Joey offers to drive the group to the ski resort in Phoebe's grandmother's cab, despite his fear of driving. Chandler offers to stay with Ross, and Monica feels bad for calling him this morning to borrow his goggles."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What? Mine aren't tinted. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : What does the sign say? Chandler Bing : Beam me up Jesus. Phoebe Buffay : No, the 'No Smoking' sign. There's no smoking in my Grandmother's cab. Chandler Bing : Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom. #ALL# : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Please! Monica Geller : No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are in a car with Phoebe and Monica, when they spot a \"No Smoking\" sign in Phoebe's grandmother's cab. Chandler makes a joke about beaming up Jesus, and then mentions he needs to go to the bathroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, come on, there's a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, now I have to go!! Chandler Bing : Here we go. Okay, brace yourselves. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Ow! Phoebe Buffay : Aren't you gonna go? Rachel Green : No. Thank you. Monica Geller : No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms. Rachel Green : Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is 'no tissue, no tuschy.' Well, if everybody's going.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are desperate to use a rest stop, but Monica refuses to go inside due to a lack of paper products. Rachel has a rule about not peeing in public restrooms without tissue or \"tuschy,\" leading to an awkward moment for the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, y'know what don't close it 'cause the... keys...are in there. Chandler Bing : Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no!! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Chandler Bing : My lighter's in there! Chandler Bing : Damn! The tailpipe's not hot enough to light this! Joey Tribbiani : Relax okay, I-I-I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger? Chandler Bing : Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning. Monica Geller : So, if you're parents hadn't got divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person? Joey Tribbiani : Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra! Monica Geller : What?!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group tries to figure out how to open a stuck car door using various objects, including a lighter, a coat hanger, and an underwire from a bra. Meanwhile, Monica makes a comment about her parents' divorce and Joey responds by asking for a wire to jimmy the door."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Who has the biggest boobs? Monica Geller : Please!! Joey Tribbiani : Whoever has the biggest boobs, has the biggest bra, therefore has the biggest wire. The Girls : No, not getting my bra! Joey Tribbiani : If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire, your call. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Monica's are the biggest. Monica Geller : These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, it's gotta be Rachel. Rachel Green : What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra. Monica Geller : All right then, your bra would still be big.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over whose breasts are bigger, with Joey and Phoebe chiming in."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, I stuff outside the bra. Chandler Bing : Ladies, ladies, let's just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monica's bra. Phoebe Buffay : All right, forget it, nevermind, you can have mine. Rachel Green : Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there. Chandler Bing : Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, there. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous. Chandler Bing : Okay, now let's decide who has the nicest ass. Joey Tribbiani : And there you go! #ALL# : Oh, yeahhhhh!!!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe get into a argument over a bra, while Chandler tries to intervene by suggesting they compromise. Joey jokes about who has the nicest ass."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : At least let me smoke it to the good part. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh, no! Rachel Green : What, what's it, what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, this has happened before. Rachel Green : So you know how to fix it? Phoebe Buffay : Yep. Put more gas in. Carol Willick : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey. Carol Willick : Hey, what are you doing here?", "summary": "Chandler tries to smoke a broken vacuum cleaner until Monica intervenes. Phoebe suggests putting more gas in it, but Rachel doesn't know how to fix it. Carol arrives and asks Ross what he's doing."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home? Carol Willick : Ah yeah, but now it's Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home. Ross Geller : Where's Ben? Carol Willick : He's sleeping. Ross Geller : Ahh. Ooh, is this a ah, is this a bad time? Carol Willick : Umm, yeah, actually, Susan's gonna be home any minute, it's kinda an anniversary. Ross Geller : Oh! I thought you guys got married in uh, January? Carol Willick : It's not that kind of anniversary. Ross Geller : Ah! Oh. Carol Willick : Sooo!! Anyway...", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Ross Geller and Carol Willick, who are reminiscing about their past relationships and current situations. They mention a tape that contains half of an episode of M*A*S*H and half of the hostages coming home, which they split up during their breakup. The conversation then shifts to their current whereabouts, with Carol revealing that she and Susan are in Mexico, while Ross is waiting for Ben to wake up. The anniversary mentioned is not a wedding anniversary but rather an emotional one, as Carol is about to see her partner Susan after a long time apart."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. 'Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up. Carol Willick : Oh God, Ross I am so sorry. Ross Geller : Yeah, well. Carol Willick : Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, I'd love that. Carol Willick : Oh, great! Me too. Ross Geller : I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, yeah. Triple A can pick us up. Rachel Green : Great! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, what town are we near?", "summary": "Ross and Carol have a conversation about him and Rachel breaking up, with Carol expressing her condolences and suggesting they talk more in depth at dinner the next night. Meanwhile, Phoebe joins the conversation and mentions that Triple A (a car rental service) can pick them up."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Freemont. West-Westmont, ah Westburg? Phoebe Buffay : Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route we're on? Rachel Green : Yeah, we are definitely on Route 27. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. There is no Route 27. Okay, either 93 or 76? Rachel Green : I don't know, I'm sorry, I always slept in the back when we drove up here. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? Okay! Yeah, no they don't do that. Rachel Green : Ugh, okay, well somebody will come and save us. Monica Geller : Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up. Rachel Green : No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here! Phoebe Buffay : But if...", "summary": "The group is stranded at a rest stop on an unknown route and is trying to figure out how to get home. They debate which road they are on and whether someone should be sent to check the nearest rest stops. Monica suggests calling Ross for help, but Rachel refuses."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, you'll have to think of something else. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back. Monica Geller : So the going for help went well? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed. Chandler Bing : I have the lung capacity of a two year old. Monica Geller : Then why are you smoking? Chandler Bing : Well it's very unsettling. Ross Geller : ....right? Right? I mean it's pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I don't, I don't need them, huh, I've got you guys now as friends, you and Susan. Carol Willick : Ah, Susan will be so pleased. Ross Geller : 717? Where's 717? Hey, you've have more of these for Susan right?", "summary": "The group is trying to help Joey get to a hospital after he collapsed halfway to the highway. Meanwhile, Chandler is smoking despite having the lung capacity of a two-year-old, and Ross is wondering why they left without him."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : No. But it's okay, I'll just put out pickles or something. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, thank God. Ross Geller : Pheebs? What, why are you whispering? Phoebe Buffay : I ate a bug. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Let's stock up. Phoebe Buffay : Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we don't know where we are, so we can't get a tow truck. Ross Geller : Oh, now you want a favour? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, please. Ross Geller : Well, oh, I'm sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but I'm a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay? Carol Willick : Phoebe, hang on a second. Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.", "summary": "Carol gives Phoebe her car to drive after they run out of gas, but Ross declines to help Phoebe and instead focuses on his \"real friends.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, I'm not gonna pick them up. Carol Willick : Listen, we both know you're gonna do it 'cause you're not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car. Ross Geller : No, Rachel doesn't want me to.... Carol Willick : Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you 'cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but don't punish your friends for what Rachel did to you. Ross Geller : Yeah, you're right. Carol Willick : Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. What? You slept with someone else?! Ross Geller : We were on a break!!! Okay!! We were, we were..., yeah. Where are you? I'll find you. Carol Willick : You slept with another woman? Ross Geller : Oh, you-you're-you're one to talk. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, done.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are fighting after she dumped him for Mark. Carol tries to get Ross to do her a favor by picking up some dry cleaning, but he refuses. The conversation then escalates into a debate about their past relationships. Joey interrupts and ends the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What's 'pleh'? Joey Tribbiani : That's 'help' spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air! Monica Geller : Huh. What's doofus spelled backwards? Rachel Green : Op, op, car! Car!! Ugh!!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's Ross on one of his drives! Chandler Bing : Hey!! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : What is he doing here?! Ross Geller : He is saving your butt, ah, unless of course I'm stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, I've got plenty of people to help on the Interstate. #ALL# : No! Come on!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group is discussing various words and phrases, including \"pleh\" (which Joey explains is \"help\" spelled backwards so that helicopters can read it from the air), \"doofus\" spelled backwards, and \"Ross on one of his drives.\" Phoebe enters and mentions that Ross is saving her butt, before Chandler arrives and joins in the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right!! Fine! Fine. Joey Tribbiani : Arrrghh!! Chandler Bing : Oh no, now it's not gonna make any sense! Phoebe Buffay : You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and we're then gonna go skiing? Chandler Bing : Oh, this is horrible, it's just horrible. Joey Tribbiani : Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along? Monica Geller : I know, what about Rachel? I mean how are we even gonna ask her? Rachel Green : Ask me what? Monica Geller : Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing? Chandler Bing : No, I wasn't gonna ask you that, no.", "summary": "Ross drives a long way to join his friends on a ski trip, but they are unsure if he should come. They consider asking Rachel, who is reluctant to go with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come. Ross Geller : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : It's horrible. Ross Geller : Oh please, can't I come to your special, magical cabin? Rachel Green : Why would you even want to come Ross? You're a horrible skier. Ross Geller : Oh-oh, hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills. Monica Geller : Here we go again. Joey Tribbiani : I-I can't handle this, you guys. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I can handle it, handle's my middle name. Actually it's the ah, middle part of my first name. Ross Geller : All right Pheebs, your cab's ready.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are planning a ski trip with their friends, but Ross is not allowed to come due to his poor skiing skills. Chandler tries to defend Ross, but Joey can't handle the situation. Monica adds her input, and Ross is ultimately banned from the cabin."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right, let's go! Ross Geller : You're welcome. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else? Ross Geller : We were on a break! Rachel Green : Y'know Ross why don't you put that on your answering machine! Ross Geller : Hey-hey, it's valid okay? And I'm not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me. Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : I don't know. Ross Geller : That's what you said last night. Monica Geller : What I said was, was that I understood. Joey's the one who agreed with you!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their on-again, off-again relationship, with Ross suggesting that he should record a message for his answering machine explaining their current status. Monica chimes in, agreeing with Ross but also acknowledging that Joey supported Ross's position."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Really Joey? Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here. Rachel Green : No, I think it's very obvious who's wrong here. Ross Geller : Obviously not to Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no. Chandler Bing : Guys, guys, guess who I am?! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! Look what you're doing to Chandler!! Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? You don't, all right you don't have to love each other, okay? You don't, you don't even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over who is wrong in a situation, while Joey and Monica agree with Ross. Chandler tries to insert himself into the conversation but is unsuccessful. Phoebe intervenes and suggests that the group find a way to be around each other despite their differences."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and not put us in the middle. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, otherwise, I mean that's, that's, that's just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? Can you be civil? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : I can. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Good, all right, let's get back in the car, 'cause it's freezing, and my chest is unsupported. Joey Tribbiani : Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Who's going with who? Ross Geller : Look, you guys, you guys should go. No, I'm, you, you planned this all out, and I don't want to ruin it, so you guys should just go. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, you drove all the way up here. Ross Geller : No, no, really, I've got to take the car back anyway, I'm spending all day tomorrow with Ben, It's fine, no guilt I promise. Rachel Green : Thank you.", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue over who will go with whom on a trip. Phoebe tries to mediate but ultimately decides to join them in the car due to the cold weather."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, we'll call you when we get back. Ross Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe we can like go to a movie or something. Ross Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Or, or the rodeo!! Ross Geller : That would be great. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Chandler Bing : I was being Shelly Winters from The Poseidon Adventure. Ross Geller : I know! Phoebe Buffay : Bye!!!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are going out of town and plan to call Ross when they return, while Phoebe suggests going to a movie or the rodeo with them. Chandler imitates Shelly Winters from The Poseidon Adventure, and Phoebe bids farewell."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : Ugh. Ross! Ross Geller : Hi! Sorry I'm late. Were you sleeping? Carol Willick : Ahh, nooo!! Ross Geller : Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, 'cause that's not where you want to skimp. Carol Willick : You're a genius, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110? Carol Willick : Okay, I'll pay you tomorrow. Ross Geller : Okay. Carol Willick : Okay, bye!! Ross Geller : So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?", "summary": "Ross buys a new battery for Carol's car after she has a flat tire. He spends $112 on the battery and offers to let her pay him tomorrow. They exchange awkward goodbyes before he leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : Yeah, okay, bye. Ross Geller : So I'm gonna take off then! Monica Geller : What's so funny? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, nothing, no. It's an acting exercise, I'm practising my fake laugh. Monica Geller : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : What-what's so funny? Gunther : Oh, no-no, no-no-no, there's none of that in here. Chandler Bing : Oh come on man! At least let me finish this last one. Gunther : Okay, but only if you give me a drag. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Ross attempts to leave, but Joey is practicing an acting exercise and Monica is confused. Gunther refuses to allow any more laughter in the coffee shop, and Chandler finishes his drink before leaving."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey tit. Chandler Bing : No-no, why don't you hang on to that one. Chandler Bing : Okay, that's like the least fun game ever. Rachel Green : Well, I'm really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. Chandler Bing : Oh. Nope, that patch is no good. Rachel Green : Come on, it's a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasn't smoked since. Ross Geller : Pffhah. Rachel Green : What's your problem? Ross Geller : Nothing, it's just that hypnosis is beyond crap. Rachel Green : Ross, I watched you get hypnotised in Atlantic City.", "summary": "Gunther sucks on Rachel's tit again while Chandler and Ross argue about smoking and quitting. Rachel brings a hypnosis tape to help Chandler quit smoking, but Ross dismisses it as ineffective."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay. Rachel Green : Oh right, 'cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play Wipe-out on your butt cheeks. Phoebe Buffay : All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men. Chandler Bing : Or what my Father called Thursday night. Ross Geller : Here you go. Rachel Green : Oh, y'know what, I didn't want cinnamon on this. Ross Geller : Sorry. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over hypnosis, while Phoebe suggests dancing naked in a field of heather to quit smoking. Chandler reveals his father's unique method for quitting smoking, and Frank Jr. surprises everyone with his sudden appearance."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Frank! Hi! Frank Buffay Jr. : How are you? Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing here? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, well y'know, I would've called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldn't find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So... Phoebe Buffay : What happened? Frank Buffay Jr. : Ah, oh, the ah, vandalism. Phoebe Buffay : But, also, what happened between you and your Mom? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, we got into a fight 'cause ah, she said I was to immature to get married. Phoebe Buffay : Your getting married?! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, yeah!", "summary": "Phoebe and Frank have a conversation in which they discuss their personal lives. Frank reveals that he lost Phoebe's phone number and was locked out of his house by his mother, making it difficult for him to contact her. He also mentions that he got into a fight with his mother because she thinks he is too immature to get married. Phoebe expresses surprise at the news that Frank is getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : My little brother's getting married!! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, I knew you'd be so cool about this. All right, ah, hey, do you want to meet her? Phoebe Buffay : Do I? Frank Buffay Jr. : Do you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I do, yeah. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, cool, all right, she just ah, parking the truck. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get my ah, my fiance man! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I would've bet good money that he'd be the first one of us to get married. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, isn't it fantastic? Monica Geller : Yeah, ah, but Pheebs don't you think he's a little young to get married?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang finds out that Phoebe's brother is getting married and they are all excited (or not) about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What, he's 18. Ross Geller : Exactly, it'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, or-or to get a hooker. Chandler Bing : Always illegal Joe. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fiance, Mrs. Knight. Alice Knight : Y'know it-it's funny, um, Frank told me so much about you, but your not how I pictured you at all. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm a big surprise. Monica Geller : So, um, how-how did you guys meet? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well um, I was in ah Mrs. Knight's ah, I mean Alice, sorry, Alice, I always do that. I was in her ah, Home Ec class. Alice Knight : And he was my best student.", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr. meets his future wife, Mrs. Knight, in Home Ec class. They bond over Frank's charming personality and Mrs. Knight's amusement at how different Frank is from her expectations. Meanwhile, Ross, Joey, and Chandler discuss the legal issues surrounding organizing a bachelor party for an 18-year-old and getting a hooker."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, she was my best teacher. Alice Knight : Ohhh. Chandler Bing : If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will? Ross Geller : And so now you guys are gonna be married? Alice Knight : Yeah. Y'know we-we talked about just living together, but um, we want to have kids right away. Rachel Green : Oh my God!! Great! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure you're ready for that? Frank Buffay Jr. : I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesn't want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, 'cause y'know, it'll be me. Right? Alice Knight : Y'know, I mean, really we do realise that there's an age difference between us. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Okay. 'Cause you were acting like you didn't.", "summary": "Alice and Frank are getting married and want to have children right away. They discuss how they never had a father figure in their lives and now they will have each other. Phoebe questions if Frank is ready for parenthood."}
-{"dialogues": "Alice Knight : Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter? Hypnosis Tape : You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You don't need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman. Monica Geller : And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year I've only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game. Rachel Green : Well, that shouldn't be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men. Monica Geller : Pete, can I get you something else? Peter Becker : Yeah, a slice of cheesecake and-and a date if you're given' 'em out. Monica Geller : Haven't you and I covered that topic? Peter Becker : Hmm, come on, you just said to her that you.... Monica Geller : Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food. Peter Becker : Well, if that were true, I'd dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. Come on, you think she should go out with me, don't you?", "summary": "Monica Geller wants to get back in the dating game after only going out with two guys in the past year. Rachel Green offers to help her meet eligible men, but Monica is hesitant. Meanwhile, Peter Becker expresses interest in going out with Monica again, but she rejects him due to his previous awkward dates with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that ain't a pretty picture in the morning, y'know what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know. Monica Geller : I mean really, think about it. Peter Becker : Ho-ho, I will. Phoebe Buffay : No, I know, I know, that this is Frank's life, y'know. Y'know, I don't want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, it's sick and wrong! Ross Geller : Pheebs, what, is it the age thing? Phoebe Buffay : No-no, oh, I'm fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking it's tongue down my little brother's throat! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it. Phoebe Buffay : But, I mean, do you think he's gonna enjoy it when he's up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, and it-it's not fair to the babies, and y'know what, it's not good home economics. Joey Tribbiani : Well, have-have you told him how you feel? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Not out loud.", "summary": "Frank has a secret life as a sex change surgeon, and Monica and Rachel discover his double life. They are shocked and try to convince Frank to stop performing surgeries on himself. Phoebe joins in, expressing her concern for the babies that Frank will have with his patients. Joey tries to defend Frank, but ultimately, the group agrees that Frank's actions are not right."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Pheebs, if you don't tell him, soon he's gonna be married, and then you're gonna hate yourself. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but if I do tell him, then he's gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I can't. But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, you guys, you have nothing to lose, I have everything to lose. Do you want me to lose everything? Everything?! Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm gonna go get Frank. Joey Tribbiani : So, we're walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, \"Hey, let's go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes,\" remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, \"Nah, let's just hang out at your place.\" Well, that was a nice move dumb ass. Rachel Green : I think you should definitely go out with this guy. Monica Geller : Nah, he doesn't do anything for me. Rachel Green : Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker Texas Ranger?", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe are trying to convince Joey not to marry a man who is clearly not good for him, but Joey is hesitant to interfere. Meanwhile, Rachel and Monica discuss a recent episode of Walker Texas Ranger."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids.... All right, I get your point. Rachel Green : All right. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick? Monica Geller : Uh, yeah. Rachel Green : Hey, how are those tapes working out for ya? Chandler Bing : Y'know what, pretty good. Rachel Green : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Good! I haven't smoked yet today, I feel great, and-and-and confident, that is a stunning blouse.", "summary": "Walker looks for kids on a bus. Chandler forgets the combination to a lock and carries it around with him. Monica has Chap Stick. Rachel asks about the tapes she gave Chandler. Chandler says they're working out well and he feels confident in his newfound abstinence."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Thank you. Monica Geller : Here you go. Chandler Bing : Thanks Rachel Green : Hey Mon, let's give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable. Chandler Bing : What check thing? Monica Geller : As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so I'd call him. Chandler Bing : Pete Becker. Pete... Is this him? Monica Geller : That's Bill Clinton. Chandler Bing : Who's he huggin'? Monica Geller : Oh my God! That's Pete! But why is Bill huggin' Pete?", "summary": "Pete Becker gives Monica a $20,000 tip as a joke, and she puts his number on the check. Chandler finds out and mistakes another man for Pete, leading to a humorous confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : This guy invented Moss 865! Every office in the world uses that program! Rachel Green : We use it!! Chandler Bing : There you go!! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Monica's gonna go out with a millionaire. Monica Geller : I'm not gonna go out with him. Rachel Green : Oh my God, I can't believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting. Monica Geller : Or incredibly offensive. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, sure, that too. Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : All we're saying is don't rush into anything.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica use Moss 865, a popular office program, while Rachel discovers an exciting $20,000 check and considers it both thrilling and offensive. Ross advises caution in making hasty decisions."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, come on, think about it. You're 18, okay, she's 44, when you're 36, she's gonna be 88. Frank Buffay Jr. : What, you don't think I know that? Joey Tribbiani : Look, the point is, there's a lot of women out there you haven't even had sex with yet! Ross Geller : Yeah, he-he's right, he's right. This is your time y'know, yeah, you're young, you're-you're weird, chicks dig that. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, but isn't sex better when it's with one person that you really, really care about. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, in a poem maybe. Ross Geller : No the man's right, that's what I had with Rachel. Frank Buffay Jr. : You don't have it anymore? Ross Geller : No, I ah, I slept with someone else. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, so wait, all right, so how does that make things better?", "summary": "Joey and Ross discuss sex and relationships, with Joey arguing that there are many women he hasn't had sex with yet and Ross agreeing that it's important to be with someone you truly care about. Frank Jr. joins in, suggesting that sex is better when it's with one person you love, but Ross reveals that he has slept with someone else since his break-up with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It didn't. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what I've got with Alice. Joey Tribbiani : Now, wh-what, what is that like? Frank Buffay Jr. : It's so cool man, it's so, it's just 'cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Why can't I find that? Ross Geller : Don't ask me, I had it and I blew it! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I want it! Frank Buffay Jr. : You can have it! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, maybe I can't. I mean, maybe there's something wrong with me.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss their relationships, with Ross lamenting that he had a great connection with Rachel but blew it, while Joey is eager to find the same connection with Alice."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, no! No! Frank Buffay Jr. : It's out there man! I've seen it! I got it!! Joey Tribbiani : Then you hold on to it!! Frank Buffay Jr. : All right, man!! Joey Tribbiani : All right, congratulations you lucky bastard! Phoebe Buffay : You're Frank's best man?! Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't help it, there love is so pure. Phoebe Buffay : Well then, what about you?! Huh?! Ross Geller : I'm the ring bearer. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. I'm so glad you could come, 'cause I've got a real umm, Home Ec emergency.", "summary": "Frank sees something and gets it from Joey. They are happy for each other. Phoebe is the best man and Ross is the ring bearer. Phoebe asks about her own situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Alice Knight : Oh my God, who died on this?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know. It's a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me? Alice Knight : Absolutely. Okay, first we'll start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesn't work we can go back to... Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, forget it. It's ruined. Alice Knight : Oh no-no, never say that. If we can't get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw. Phoebe Buffay : Or instead, maybe you could just not marry my brother Frank. Peter Becker : Okay, that's great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin. #ALL# : Got it. Yeah all right. Yeah, okay. Secretary : You have a Miss Monica Geller here. Peter Becker : Uh, absolutely, yeah, sEnd her in. Hi.", "summary": "Alice and Phoebe try to clean a stain on a dress, but they are unsuccessful and decide to cut around the stain and add lace to make it stylish. Peter suggests making something fit on the head of a pin, which Monica arrives to discuss."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What the hell is this? Peter Becker : Hang on a second. I'll-I'll talk to you in the morning. I'm sorry what? Monica Geller : Seriously, what is this supposed to mean? Peter Becker : Well, y'know, I never know how much to tip. Monica Geller : You're supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, what's-what's the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you? Employee : Umm, I'm still here. Peter Becker : You're taking this all wrong. Because, if I didn't leave you that tip, you wouldn't of come down here, we wouldn't be having this argument, and there wouldn't be this ah, heat between us. Monica Geller : What?! Peter Becker : Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. 'Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now we're like this-this couple that fights. Monica Geller : Okay, umm, you're a loon.", "summary": "Monica and Peter have a misunderstanding about tipping at a restaurant. The conversation escalates into an argument about their relationship, with Peter suggesting that they are now \"hitting a new level\" as a couple because they are fighting more. Monica dismisses his idea and calls him a \"loon.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : Look, forget the check, okay. I like you. I think you're great. Come on, what do you say? Monica Geller : I don't know. Peter Becker : Why not? Monica Geller : 'Cause I don't want to encourage this kind of behaviour. Peter Becker : One meal! That's all I'm asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you don't have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi. Wait, no! Just put the mail down. It's-it's me! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Whoa, sorry. Why were you just like all in the dark? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought I'd curl up in it. Is that all right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, sure. So, how was your day? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, well just probably the worst one since I've been alive.", "summary": "Peter Becker asks Monica Geller out on a date, but she hesitates due to not wanting to encourage his behavior. Peter offers to take her out for one meal and if she doesn't have a good time, he will give her $10,000 and they can call it even. Meanwhile, Frank Buffay Jr. enters the scene and is drawn to Monica's laundry, causing awkwardness."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What umm, what happened? Frank Buffay Jr. : Umm, Alice ah, she ah, called it off. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Did umm, did she say why? Frank Buffay Jr. : Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I don't see how I could all of the sudden be too young, 'cause I'm older than I was when we first got together. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, no, I don't, I don't know. But, y'know what, maybe it's just all for the best? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, sweetie, oh. Frank Buffay Jr. : Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, it's still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now it's, and now it's gone and I don't know why! Phoebe Buffay : Uh, well I can tell you why. It's, it's because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay? Frank Buffay Jr. : What?", "summary": "Alice called off their relationship without giving a reason, leaving Frank in pain and confusion. Despite Phoebe's attempts to comfort him, Frank is still struggling to come to terms with the sudden end of his happiness."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldn't be together, y'know. And you're gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will. Frank Buffay Jr. : Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, you, wait no, my Mother didn't want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but. Frank Buffay Jr. : Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought you'd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go... Rachel Green : Oh my God! The millionaire's here! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Guys, please, I'm just gonna have dinner with him. Okay? Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, just because he buys you dinner, does not mean you owe him anything.", "summary": "Frank and Phoebe discuss their parents' wishes for them to be together, with Frank revealing that his mother tied him to a porch. Phoebe tries to help Frank understand why he shouldn't be with Rachel, but Frank becomes upset and leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know!! Chandler Bing : Okay, then get the lobster! Monica Geller : Hey! Peter Becker : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now? Monica Geller : And that's why, I'm not inviting you in for a drink. Bye. #ALL# : Oh-no-no-no-no....", "summary": "Monica and Chandler plan to order lobster for dinner, but Monica changes her mind when she sees Peter Becker. Rachel greets Joey, who asks Ross how much cash he has in his pocket. Monica declines an invitation for drinks with Joey due to a previous incident."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Just one drink?! Monica Geller : So, where do you want to go? Peter Becker : Hey, you like pizza? Monica Geller : Oh, that's sounds great. Peter Becker : I know a great little place. Peter Becker : You're, hey, you're not paying for the pizza! Monica Geller : Oh come on, it's only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire? Peter Becker : Ahh, I'd throw another thousand on that. Monica Geller : Why, how much is that? Peter Becker : That's about 60 cents.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel go out for drinks with Peter, who offers to pay for their meal. When they arrive at the pizza place, Peter insists on paying for the food, despite Monica's protests that he shouldn't have to cover the entire bill."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Every night!! Hypnosis Tape : You do not need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Frank. Look, okay, I know that you think I did like this totally evil thing, but I so didn't. There's someone here who can explain this better than I can. Alice Knight : Hi Frank. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi, Mrs. Knight. Alice Knight : Phoebe's right Frank. I know it's hard to hear, but it would've been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. Is that it, is that what it is? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but not just that. Alice Knight : Right, not just that. Umm, even though we love each other as much as we do, none the less... Phoebe Buffay : None the less. Alice Knight : None the less. Umm, you're too young to, to really know what you want.", "summary": "Phoebe and Alice have a secret that they want to share with Frank, but they are hesitant due to their love for him and not wanting to hurt him. They explain that they were being selfish and that in the future, things may not be the same."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That's right, exactly. All right, it's a good bye kiss, that's good. Bye-bye. Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what I'm saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. Okay, I've decided I'm gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? Okay, all right, good. . Hypnosis Tape : Cigarette's don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. Joey Tribbiani : Joey's your best friEnd. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants. Gunther : Here you go. Rachel Green : Thank you. Gunther : Say Rachel, I was wondering if you'd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe you'd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover. Mark Robinson : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! All right, let's go shoppin'!! Mark Robinson : Um, y'know, before we go ah, there's something I need to say. Rachel Green : Oh, okay.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss a goodbye kiss and Phoebe decides to let it happen. Hypnosis Tape tries to help Joey quit smoking by telling him he is a strong, confident woman who doesn't need cigarettes. Joey wants Rachel to make him a cheese sandwich every day and buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants. Gunther offers to take Rachel to a movie or out to eat as her lover, and Mark Robinson has something important to tell Rachel before they go shopping together."}
-{"dialogues": "Mark Robinson : I've kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. But since you were with Ross, I-I didn't do anything about it. But, now that you're not, I'd really like to ask you out sometime. So-so that's-that's what I'm doing, now. Rachel Green : Wow! Umm.... Gunther : I dropped a cup. Peter Becker : ...so y'know, that's why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, 'Wash my car.' 'Clean my room.' It's not gonna be able to do any of those things, but it'll understand what you're saying. Monica Geller : Oh, this is so great. Peter Becker : Yeah, it was. Monica Geller : All right then. Bye. Monica Geller : Hello, people who do not live here. #ALL# : Hi! Hello! Monica Geller : I gave you a key for emergencies!", "summary": "Mark Robinson has a crush on Rachel Green, but didn't act on it while she was with Ross. Now that she's available, he's asking her out. Rachel is surprised and unsure of how to respond. Meanwhile, Peter Becker talks about the potential for voice recognition technology in computers, and Monica Geller joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : We were out of Doritos. Ross Geller : Hey, how'd the date go with Mr. Millionaire? Chandler Bing : Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately. Monica Geller : He's great! I mean we have such a good time together! He's so funny, and sooo sweet, and I'm not attracted to him at all!! Ross Geller : Still?! Monica Geller : Noo!! It's driving me crazy. I mean every other way he's like the perfect guy, he has everything. Plus! He actually has everything. Chandler Bing : Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image? Monica Geller : Two. Chandler Bing : Wow!! Can Joey and I put them on and fight? Joey Tribbiani : Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie!", "summary": "Monica is obsessed with her new date, Mr. Millionaire, despite not being attracted to him. Ross and Chandler make jokes about his wealth and interests, while Joey excitedly wants to dress up as an Imperial Stormtrooper."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I guess he musta gotten the part in that play. Monica Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you. The Director : Joe. How's it going? Joey Tribbiani : Good. Hey. Kate Miller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, so you're playing Adrienne, huh? Kate Miller : Yes. Are you one of the retarded cousins? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no. Ah, I playing your husband, Victor. I'm Joey Tribianni. Kate Miller : Hi, nice to meet you. Kate Miller.", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss a friend getting a part in a play, while Chandler makes a joke about Gloria Estefan. The director greets Joey, who is playing a character named Victor, and Kate Miller, who is playing his wife Adrienne. Kate mistakenly refers to Joey as one of the \"retarded cousins,\" leading Joey to correct her and introduce himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So the ah, play's pretty great, huh? Kate Miller : Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murray's work. She's so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, forget about it. She rocks! Kate Miller : Where do I know you from? Joey Tribbiani : Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat. Kate Miller : No, that's not it. So, you're a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I've done plays before. I'm a serious actor. Kate Miller : That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! You're-you're-you're the guy that doesn't know how to pour milk!! Joey Tribbiani : See, I actually can pour milk, but I got you believing that I couldn't. Now, see, that's acting. Kate Miller : Right, at the end, you choked on a cookie.", "summary": "The play is about Jennifer Van Murray's deconstruction of the American middle class psyche and Joey Tribbiani plays a serious actor who has done plays before but is also known for his role in an info-commercial where he can't pour milk. Kate Miller mistakes him for a soap actor and they have a funny exchange about acting and TV roles."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that was real. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I cannot believe Mark asked you out. Rachel Green : I know. Phoebe Buffay : What, so what are you gonna tell him? Rachel Green : Well, I told him I would think about it, but I'm gonna tell him no. Phoebe Buffay : Huh. Rachel Green : I mean I think I'd say no to anybody right now. Oh, but it was so strange. I mean I'm standing there with this charming, cute guy, who's asking me to go out with him, which I'm allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like I'd be cheating on Ross or something. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, you're not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father. Rachel Green : I don't have any issues with my Father. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so it's probably just the Ross thing then.", "summary": "Rachel is asked out by a cute guy but feels guilty because she doesn't want to cheat on Ross. Phoebe tries to help Rachel understand her feelings towards Ross and why she might be feeling guilty about the new guy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I can't do it, they're all like-like laughing at me. Ross Geller : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, what-what do you think she wants? Ross Geller : Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realises that life without me.... a-sucks. Chandler Bing : It's possible. You are very loveable, I'd miss you if I broke up with you. I was just trying to be supportive. Ross Geller : Then be supportive like a guy. Chandler Bing : If I broke up with you, I'd miss you. Ross Geller : Hi.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a problem with someone sharing a secret about an infomercial that makes them unable to open their drinks, leading to ridicule from coworkers. Meanwhile, Rachel wants to see Ross despite being out of touch for some time, leading Chandler to speculate on the reasons behind her sudden interest."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : You ah, wanted to see me? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ahh, here's a box of your stuff. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Oh, y'know, it's just like hats, and a shirt, and CD's, just sort of stuff that you've left here. Ross Geller : What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something? Rachel Green : No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know it's time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean don't' you think? Ross Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : Yeah? Ross Geller : Yes, I do.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about her giving him a box of his belongings that she found in her apartment. He is surprised and asks if she is trying to hurt him. Rachel explains that it's just time for them to move on and she means don't you think? They both agree that it's time to move forward."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Good. Ross Geller : Yeah, I-I really do. Hey! This-this was a gift?! Rachel Green : Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop. Ross Geller : It's still a gift! I got it from the gift shop! Rachel Green : Okay, all right, give me the mug! I'll keep the mug. Ross Geller : No!! Y'know-y'know don't do me any favours. In fact, where, where's the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? I'd like that back too. Yes, I do. Rachel Green : You know how much I love that T-shirt! You never even where that T-shirt! Ross Geller : I'm just trying to help you, move on. Rachel Green : Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty.... Ross Geller : Petty...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over a mug he got for free from a museum gift shop. Ross insists it's still a gift, while Rachel wants to keep it. The argument escalates with Ross demanding back his other belongings that Rachel has taken, including a book and a T-shirt."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Petty... Ross Geller : Petty... Rachel Green : Petty... Ross Geller : Petty... Rachel Green : Small... Ross Geller : Small... Rachel Green : You are so just doing this out of spite. Ross Geller : Awwwahuh, no, no, no!! Rachel Green : Huh? Ross Geller : I'm-I'm gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a petty exchange about a small item of clothing."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesn't even fit you anymore! Ross Geller : Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah... Rachel Green : yeah-yeah-yeah!! Ross Geller : Oh-oh, okay, okay! If you don't mind I'm gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. You have a pleasant evening. Phoebe Buffay : So, you're like a zillionaire? Chandler Bing : And you're our age. You're our age. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself. Peter Becker : What like Pete Dakota? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, or, or, or, Mississ-Pete. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, I got it! Pete-Chicago.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about an old t-shirt, while Phoebe and Chandler discuss her potential wealth and name a state after herself. Joey suggests a different name for the state."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's not a state Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, and Mississ-Pete is? Peter Becker : I got to go, so ah, I'll see you guys later. #ALL# : Okay. Chandler Bing : You're our age! Peter Becker : So ah, we on for tomorrow? Monica Geller : Absolutely! Now get out of here you!! Okay, I'm running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where there's no future? Either they're too old, or they're too young, and then there's Pete who's-who's crazy about me, and who's absolutely perfect for me, and there's like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like something's wrong with me?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, kinda. Kate Miller : Happy?! Is that what I'm supposed to be Vic? Happy? Joey Tribbiani : Well, why don't you tell me what you're supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell can't figure it out! I talk to you and nothin'. You look at me, and it's nothin'. Nothing.", "summary": "The group is discussing their romantic interests and struggles. Chandler expresses frustration with Joe's claim that he is from Mississippi, while Peter excuses himself to leave. Monica confirms a plans for the next day despite feeling unfulfilled in her relationships. Phoebe questions Monica's happiness, and Joey responds with confusion at Monica's lack of emotional expression towards him. Kate enters and joins the conversation, but Monica remains non-committal about her feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "The Director : Tasty! I'm really starting to feel like you guys have a history, it's-it's nice. Kate Miller : I have a question about this scene. The Director : Yes? Kate Miller : Well, I don't understand why Adrienne's attracted to Victor. The Director : Peel the onion. First of all, he's good looking. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Kate Miller : I think my character's gonna need a little bit more of reason than that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, it's says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I don't know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that you're a bitch. Kate Miller : It doesn't say that in the script. Joey Tribbiani : It does in mine!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around the characters' interpretations of a scene in a script, with Kate Miller questioning why Adrienne is attracted to Victor and Joey Tribbiani suggesting that there may be more to it than just his physical appearance."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesn't matter, I still wind up with this little cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. It's so annoying. Does it bug you? Ross Geller : You bug me. Chandler Bing : Is there any chance you didn't see that? Chandler Bing : Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You can't just stare through the peep hole for three hours! You're gonna get peep eye! Ross Geller : I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, she'd say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does! Chandler Bing : You didn't just break up. Ross Geller : Hey, it's been like three weeks! Chandler Bing : You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean bullets have left guns slower! Ross Geller : Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, I'm gonna kill myself, I swear. I can't, I can't watch this. Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, she's going in. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Chandler has a persistent cowlick, which he finds annoying. Ross stares through the peephole for three hours and eventually discovers that Rachel has come to visit him. Despite recently breaking up, Rachel kisses Ross goodnight, leading Chandler to contemplate suicide."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : She's going in. Wait! He's going in! He's going in!! The door's closed! I, I can't see anything but the door closed!! Chandler Bing : And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave. Ross Geller : Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it! Chandler Bing : Stop what?! Ross Geller : I don't know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will do it. I'll go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!! Chandler Bing : No!! You can't!! Ross Geller : Look, they must be stopped! Chandler Bing : I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! You are surprisingly strong! Ross Geller : I need juice! People need juice!! Chandler Bing : Look man!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are watching as someone goes through a door that leads to their death. They try to stop it but fail."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : People need juice! Chandler Bing : Listen to me!! Ross Geller : Juice, I need... Chandler Bing : She's moving on! Okay, if it's not this guy, it's gonna be somebody else! And unless you're thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? It's over. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : It's just I miss her so much. Chandler Bing : I know. Mark Robinson : Why do all you're coffee mugs have numbers on the bottom? Rachel Green : Oh. That's so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, 'Where's number 27?!'", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss a past relationship ending, while Mark asks Rachel about the numbers on her coffee mugs, which Monica uses to keep track of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Y'know what? Mark Robinson : No. And I don't think I'm gonna want to. Rachel Green : I can't do this. Mark Robinson : Yep. Yep, that's what I didn't want to know. Rachel Green : Well, oh, Mark, I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? I'm just doing it to get back at Ross. I'm sorry, it's not very fair to you. Mark Robinson : Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here! Rachel Green : Oh God. I'm sorry about this. Mark Robinson : That's okay. Rachel Green : You sure? Mark Robinson : Yeah. I can just go home and get back at him by myself.", "summary": "Rachel wants to get back at Ross, but she realizes she's doing it for the wrong reasons and feels bad about it. Mark offers to help her get back at Ross, but Rachel declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Spokeswoman : ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size... Peter Becker : Hey, can I ask you something? Monica Geller : Sure. Peter Becker : Where are we? Monica Geller : Well, with all these doctors and nurses, I'm gonna say, midget rodeo. Peter Becker : Just tell me the truth. Monica Geller : Okay. Umm, y'know, I don't think, I don't think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship. Peter Becker : Oh, yeah. Wasn't that like a year ago? Monica Geller : So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isn't the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now I'm just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean? Peter Becker : Oh, yeah. I know that.", "summary": "Monica Geller and Peter Becker are discussing something ironic about her hospital's plans for the future. Monica reveals that she recently got out of a serious relationship and needs to focus on herself right now."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I so wanna be attracted to you. Peter Becker : But you're not. Okay, good. Monica Geller : I'm sorry. Peter Becker : Y'know what, don't be. This is not, don't be, 'cause it's not so bad. Monica Geller : It's not? Peter Becker : I know I'm no John Bon Jovi, or someone who find attractive, I'm just, I think, y'know, that you might end up feeling differently. Monica Geller : Well, um, look I-I don't want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasn't attracted too. Peter Becker : Yeah, stupidly charming isn't' it? Well listen let's, you wanna get something to eat? 'Cause this place is kinda depressing. Spokeswoman : And the man who made all this possible... Mr. Peter Becker. Peter Becker : One second.", "summary": "Monica Geller is interested in Peter Becker but he's not attracted to her. They have a conversation where they awkwardly flirt and try to navigate their feelings. Peter suggests they get something to eat together to take their minds off the awkwardness of the moment."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I don't think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. Draw!! Chandler Bing : I wasn't doing anything. Uh-oh, what did she do now? Joey Tribbiani : Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she's like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread! Chandler Bing : Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth. Joey Tribbiani : God, I just, I hate her! I hate her!! With her, 'Oh, I'm so talented.' and 'Oh, I'm so pretty,' and 'Ooh, I smell so good.' Chandler Bing : I think somebody has a crush on somebody. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know? Chandler Bing : I'm talking about you. You big, big freak. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Ohh. Ohh, you're out of your mind. Chandler Bing : Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard you'd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey argue over their feelings towards a woman who they both have a crush on. Chandler makes fun of Joey for his admiration of her, while Joey becomes defensive and frustrated with Chandler's teasing."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff huh?! Kate Miller : Happy?! Is that what I'm supposed to be Vic? Happy? Joey Tribbiani : Well, why don't you tell me what you're supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell can't figure it out! I talk to you and it's nothin'. You look at me, and nothin'. Nothing. The Director : You guys make me fly! High! Okay, we're gonna pick it up here, tomorrow. Kate Miller : Well, that was ah... Joey Tribbiani : Better? Kate Miller : Yeah! Yeah, it was definitely an improvement. G'night. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, Kate? Kate Miller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : You ah, you forgot your shoes.", "summary": "Joey and Kate have a conversation about their thoughts on each other, with Joey expressing confusion over Kate's emotions. The Director interrupts to give them direction for the scene, and they continue filming. At the end of the scene, Joey notices that Kate has forgotten her shoes."}
-{"dialogues": "Kate Miller : I'm probably gonna need those. Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen you ah.... Kate Miller : Hmm? Joey Tribbiani : ...feel like getting a cup of coffee? Kate Miller : Umm. The Director : Kate? Kate Miller : Yep. The Director : You ready to go? Kate Miller : Yeah. The Director : Very nice. Very nice.", "summary": "Kate and Joey go for coffee together."}
-{"dialogues": "Kate Miller : So umm, I'll see you tomorrow, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah sure, goodnight. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Why isn't it Spiderman? Y'know like Goldman, Silverman... Chandler Bing : 'Cause it's-it's not his last name. Phoebe Buffay : It isn't? Chandler Bing : No, it's not like, like Phil Spiderman. He's a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but there's no Gold Man. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man! Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, how was work? Rachel Green : Oh, great. Although I did sit down where there wasn't a chair.", "summary": "Tomorrow, Kate and Joey will see each other. Phoebe asks why it's not \"Spiderman,\" like Goldman or Silverman, but Chandler explains that Spiderman is a spider, not a last name. Rachel joins the conversation and shares her work-related struggles, including sitting down where there wasn't a chair."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : By the way, Ross dropped by a box of your stuff. Rachel Green : Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. I'm just gonna throw it out, it's probably just a bunch of shampoo and... Monica Geller : Something wrong? Rachel Green : No. Nothing. Chandler Bing : So, ahh, what kind of powers would Gold Man have? Phoebe Buffay : Okay well, he would turn things to gold. Chandler Bing : What about things that are already gold? Phoebe Buffay : Ahh, his work is done. Chandler Bing : Okay, let's play my game now. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!!", "summary": "Ross brings a box of Rachel's belongings to her doorstep, and she throws them out without hesitation, assuming they are just shampoo and other personal items. Chandler and Phoebe engage in a game of imagining Gold Man's powers, with Phoebe suggesting he could turn things to gold, and Chandler countering that his work would be done on already gold objects."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, wait. You're telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didn't want you back?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Oh my God! Is this what it's like to be you? Monica Geller : Wow, you're really crazy about her, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you have no idea. And-and when we're on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and it's like somebody's ripping out my heart! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so great to see you feeling like this! Ross Geller : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Ross Geller : Monica, uh Dad called this morning and ah, Aunt Silvia passed away. Monica Geller : Yes!! Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Ross Geller : We were all pretty shaken up about it.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler Bing is upset because an actress he has a crush on doesn't return his feelings. Joey Tribbiani and Monica Geller try to console him, but Chandler becomes even more distraught when he realizes the actress will be kissing and touching someone else. Phoebe Buffay finds it amusing while Ross Geller reveals that his father's sister, Aunt Silvia, has passed away."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wait, am I missing something though? 'Cause I thought death was something that's supposed to be sad, in a way. Ross Geller : Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person. Monica Geller : Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! And I'm sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse? Ross Geller : You get the dollhouse. Monica Geller : I get the dollhouse! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse? Phoebe Buffay : No, just a barrel. Monica Geller : Y'know what, you can play with my dollhouse. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Really?!", "summary": "The group discusses the death of Aunt Silvia, who was not a nice person. Monica and Phoebe express their condolences, while Ross mentions that Monica will inherit the dollhouse. Joey makes an awkward comment about Phoebe's childhood toy, and Monica offers for Phoebe to play with her dollhouse."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Any time you want. Y'know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but no!! It was to be looked at, but never played with. Chandler Bing : My Grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me. Rachel Green : Hey, Sophie! Sophie : Hey, Rach! Chandler Bing : Hey. Sophie : Hey. Rachel Green : Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didn't have to walk me all the way back up here. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's-that's okay, no problem. Rachel Green : Honey um, honey, you do realise that we don't keep the women's lingerie here in the office? Chandler Bing : Yes, I realise that.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss their childhood memories of being told they couldn't touch or play with certain things, while Rachel talks to Sophie about lunch and thanks Chandler for walking her back to the office."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Summer catalogue! Chandler Bing : That's the stuff! Joanna : Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. Hello! You don't work for me. Rachel Green : Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing Joanna. Joanna : Bing! That's a great name. Chandler Bing : Thanks, it's ah, Gaelic, for 'Thy turkey's done.' So ah, I'm gonna go, nice, nice meeting you. Joanna : Me too. Rachel Green : Bye, Chandler. Joanna : So ah, what's wrong with him? Rachel Green : Oh, nothing, he's just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.", "summary": "Rachel and Joanna work together on a project, but Joanna needs an invoice from Versachi. Chandler, Rachel's friend, joins the conversation and they exchange pleasantries before Chandler leaves. Joanna wonders what's wrong with Chandler, and Rachel explains that he's just goofy and she's accustomed to it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joanna : Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone? Rachel Green : No!! No! He's not married, or involved, with anyone! Joanna : Oh, Rachel, actually, y'know what, forget it. Rachel Green : Well, I'll ask him for you, if you want me too? Joanna : Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do? Sophie : Uh, uh, uh, I am here. Joanna : I know that. Monica Geller : Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpaper's a little faded, that's okay. Carpet's a little loose. Hardwood floors!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hello.", "summary": "Joanna is curious about a man's marital status, but changes her mind after realizing it would be too sad and desperate to ask him. Rachel offers to ask him for Joanna instead, but she declines. Monica admires the hardwood floors in the room, while Phoebe enters and greets Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ooh! Oh Monica! It's so beautiful. Monica Geller : I know!!! Phoebe Buffay : So, I'm here, ready to play. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. Monica Geller : What's this? Phoebe Buffay : That's a dog, every house should have a dog. Monica Geller : Not one that can pee on the roof. Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe it's so big because the house was built on radioactive waste. Chandler Bing : And is this in case the house sneezes?", "summary": "Phoebe brings a dog to Monica's new house and Monica is not pleased with the unexpected surprise."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, no, that's the ghost for the attic. Monica Geller : I don't want a ghost. Phoebe Buffay : Well, nobody wants a ghost. But you've got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, obviously you don't know much about the U.S. government. Rachel Green : Hey! #ALL# : Hello. Rachel Green : I need to talk to you! Ross Geller : Sure, what's up? Rachel Green : Oh, sorry. I meant Chandler.", "summary": "A ghost haunts the attic of a house built on an ancient Indian burial ground and radioactive waste."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I-I know. Well if something comes up... Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase. Rachel Green : Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you... Chandler Bing : Oh-ho, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin' out the Chan-Chan man! Rachel Green : That was surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all? Chandler Bing : Yeah, she seemed cool, attractive. I'll do it. Rachel Green : Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, she's gonna love me. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof! Monica Geller : Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-that's it, that's it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? They're not the right size, they're not Victorian, and they just don't go. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, fine. Come dinosaur, we're not welcome in the house of no imagination.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss their past awkwardness, while Rachel reveals her new boss, Joanna, showed interest in Chandler after he left. Phoebe interrupts with a sudden dinosaur attack scenario, leading Monica to set boundaries on supernatural elements in the house."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh, Pheebs, while we're hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they don't go, rrroof! Phoebe Buffay : The little ones do. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Kate! Kate Miller : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last week... The Director : Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! Joey Tribbiani : And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah... Woman : Hi, oh, I'm Lauren, Kate's understudy. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey! Joey Tribbiani. Lauren : I know! I-I'm a big fan of yours.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nRoss and Phoebe discuss dinosaurs, while Joey talks to Kate about a restaurant he visited. The Director approaches Joey and Lauren, a new understudy, introduces herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What?! Lauren : I used to umm, schedule my classes so I could watch Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Joey Tribbiani : Get out of here, really?! Lauren : Absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Lauren : Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft. Joey Tribbiani : They gave me the shaft all right. Lauren : Oh, you're so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something? Joey Tribbiani : Well Ahh, yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great. Lauren : Cool! I-I'll see you then.", "summary": "Lauren used to schedule her classes around Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, but he was dropped down an elevator shaft. Joey jokes about it and they agree to get a drink after rehearsals."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right. The Director : All right, it's time to act, my talking props. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Look everybody, look at my new dollhouse!! Rachel Green : Wow!! Phoebe Buffay : Look, look! Ross Geller : Hey, what's this?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, it's the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. Monica Geller : It's very interesting, Phoebe.", "summary": "Phoebe shows off her new dollhouse to the gang, who are impressed. Joey and Rachel ooh and ahh over it, while Ross expresses curiosity about the slide instead of stairs. Monica finds it interesting."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What's this? Phoebe Buffay : The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed. Ross Geller : This is the coolest house ever!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, does anybody want to join me in the aroma room? Rachel Green : All right! Ross Geller : I would! Monica Geller : Hey, guys, guys, did you see my new, china cabinet?! Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : Watch, watch. Rachel Green : Ooohhhh!!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross enter a unique house with a tootsie roll-away bed and a room filled with aromas. Phoebe invites them in and offers to join her there. Monica reveals her new china cabinet and is excited about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : And, and! Rachel Green : Ahhhh!! Chandler Bing : Hey, my Father's house does that! Rachel Green : O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything. Chandler Bing : Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and there's nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening. Rachel Green : Hmm. Chandler Bing : Of course, I didn't get to enjoy any of that, because Joanna's such a big, dull dud! Joanna : Chandler is fantastic!! Rachel Green : What?! Joanna : Oh God, we just clicked! Y'know how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?", "summary": "The group goes to a dinner party at Joanna's father's house, where they have a mediocre time. Chandler tries to impress Joanna but fails due to her being \"a big, dull dud.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I.... Joanna : Oh, and he's got such a good heart! Doesn't he have a good heart? Rachel Green : Oh, I know... Joanna : Oh, I know and he's soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through. Sophie : Isn't this great?! Joanna : Don't spoil it. Joey Tribbiani : Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say? The Director : Hello. Oh! It's you. Just ah, just one-one sec. I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! Joey Tribbiani : That guy's like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway? Kate Miller : He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater you're dating.", "summary": "A man named Joey is trying to win over a woman named Rachel, but she is hesitant due to his \"good heart\" and sweetness. Meanwhile, another character, Sophie, is excited about something but doesn't want to spoil it. The Director enters and takes a call, promising to bring something magical to the stage called \"committing to the moment.\" Joey is mocked by Kate for his love interest, who thinks he is unattractive compared to Rachel's current sweater-wearing suitor."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm not interested in her sweater! It's what's underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who I'm going out with? Kate Miller : I don't care. Why, do you want me to care? Joey Tribbiani : Do you want me to want you to care? Kate Miller : Do you? Joey Tribbiani : What? The Director : Okay, I'm afraid to say this, but let's pick it up where we left off. Joey Tribbiani : Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say? Kate Miller : I've got no reason to stay. The Director : Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! I'll see you in the morning. Kate Miller : I can't believe we go on in, in a week.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is not interested in a woman's sweater because he is more focused on what is underneath. Kate Miller does not care about Joey's relationship and asks if he wants her to care. The two continue to exchange lines until the director interrupts and ends the scene."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's gonna be all right. Lauren : Hey! So since we're getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs? Joey Tribbiani : What? Lauren : You know! At the place I told you about last night? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight. Lauren : Oh, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Lauren : I'll see you tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Lauren : G'night.", "summary": "Lauren suggests doing mug painting at a studio, but Joey declines and wants to work on his own stuff instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ah, are you okay? Kate Miller : Yeah, I guess. Look, what are we gonna do about this scene, huh? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Kate Miller : Well umm, maybe if it had more heat. Joey Tribbiani : How do you mean? Kate Miller : Well, Adrian's looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor can't just kiss her, he's gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe he could slip her the tongue. Kate Miller : Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist. Kate Miller : And then she could rip off his shirt and kiss his chest, and, and his stomach!", "summary": "* Joey and Kate are discussing a scene in a movie they're working on\n* They want to add more heat to the scene to make it more interesting\n* Joey suggests Victor could kiss Adrian as a reason for him to stay\n* Kate agrees and adds that he could grab her and lift her up\n* Joey suggests they could add a romantic gesture, like unbuttoning her shirt or kissing her chest\n* Kate agrees and suggests they could go further by ripping off his shirt and kissing his stomach"}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her! Kate Miller : And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this raw, animal.... Joey Tribbiani : Something like that? Kate Miller : Yeah, that's pretty much what I had in mind. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey.", "summary": "A man (Joey) fantasizes about undressing a woman (Kate) with his teeth and biting her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's a little early to be drinkin'. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate. Ross Geller : Ohhhhh! Monica Geller : You're kidding?! That's great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was so amazing. After the love making... Monica Geller : Oh my. Joey Tribbiani : Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming 'cause, 'cause her eyes keep going like this. Chandler Bing : I'm telling ya, Joanna's got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, 'This was fun. Let's do it again sometime. I'll give you a call.' Rachel Green : Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks you're going to call her? Chandler Bing : That's what you say at the end of a date.", "summary": "Joey and Kate finally have sex, while Ross and Monica are intrigued. Joey watches Kate sleep for hours afterward, mesmerized by her breathing. Chandler tries to clarify his intentions with Joanna, but she misunderstands."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You can't just say, 'Nice to meet you, good night?' Chandler Bing : To her face? Look it's the end of the date, I'm standing there, I know all she's waiting for is for me to say 'I'll call her' and it's just y'know, comes out. I can't help it, it's a compulsion. Monica Geller : Come on Rach, when a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call. Hasn't it ever happened to you? Rachel Green : Well, they always called. Monica Geller : Hmm, bite me. Joanna : Did he call? Rachel Green : No. Sorry. Joanna : Why?! Why?! He said he'd call. Why hasn't he called? Sophie : Maybe he's intimated by really smart, strong, successful women. Joanna : Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasn't he called, Rachel? Why?", "summary": "Rachel Green goes on a date with Chandler Bing and struggles to say goodnight after the date ends. Chandler has a compulsion to say goodnight, but hesitates due to fear of rejection or awkwardness. Monica Geller offers advice, but Rachel reveals that past suitors have always called after saying they would. Joanna asks for updates on whether Chandler called, and Sophie suggests he may be intimidated by smart, successful women like Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, okay. Umm, well ah, maybe he, maybe he feels awkward because you are my boss. Joanna : Awkward? Why should he feel awkward? Rachel Green : Well... Joanna : The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didn't tell him not to call me, did you? Rachel Green : No. I... Joanna : Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that. Rachel Green : Call her! Call her now! Chandler Bing : Multiple, so many paper cuts. Rachel Green : Why hasn't he called Rachel? Why? Why? I don't understand. Why? He said he'll call. Why? Why? Chandler I'm telling you she has flipped out, she's gone crazy! Chandler Bing : Oh, well give me the phone then.", "summary": "Joanna and Rachel discuss why Joanna's boyfriend hasn't called her. Joanna suggests that Rachel may be uncomfortable with their friendship because Rachel is Joanna's boss, but Rachel denies this. Joanna offers to help fix the situation, while Chandler makes jokes about paper cuts and tries to take the phone from Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Come on, this isn't funny. She thinks it's my fault that you haven't called her. You have to call her! Chandler Bing : Look, you can't call somebody after this long just to say, 'In case you didn't notice, I don't like you!' Rachel Green : Well then you're going to have to take her out again. Chandler Bing : Nooo!! She's really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye! Rachel Green : I don't care! I don't care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows it's actually ended. And, I don't care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again! Chandler Bing : All right! Fine! But it's just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I don't want you setting me up with anybody ever again! Rachel Green : That's fine! Chandler Bing : That's just a lot of big talk, y'know. Rachel Green : I know. Ross Geller : Mon?", "summary": "Chandler is reluctant to take his ex-girlfriend out on a date due to her dullness and mascara goop in the corner of her eye. Rachel insists that he must end things with her and not lead her on again. Chandler agrees but only for a brief lunch date and vows never to be set up by Rachel again."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm in the shower! Ross Geller : Oh, fire! There, there's a fire! Fire!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Kate Miller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall? Kate Miller : About what? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, about what happened with us. Kate Miller : Nooo. And there's really no reason he should find out, so ah let's not make a big deal about it, okay? Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you can't tell me last night didn't mean something to you. I-I was there, you're not that good an actress. Kate Miller : Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. That's all it was. Joey, I'm-I'm sorry you feel bad, but haven't you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?", "summary": "Ross finds out that Monica and Joey had sex while she was in the shower. Monica tries to downplay it, but Joey reveals that he told Lauren about their relationship. Kate Miller enters the conversation, and Monica asks her if she talked to Marshall about what happened between Joey and her. Kate denies it and tries to convince Joey not to make a big deal out of it, but Joey insists that it meant something to him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Nooo. Lauren : Hi, Kate! Kate Miller : Hi, Lauren. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, Lauren. Lauren : Hi, pig! Ross Geller : Sorry I ah, I scared you in there. Monica Geller : Oh, that's okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager. Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : I tried to reach you at work. There's....been a fire.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A fire has occurred at Monica's workplace."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What?! Oh my... Oh my God!! What happened?! Ross Geller : Well, we believe it originated here. In the Aroma Room. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Did everyone get out okay? Monica Geller : Well, the giraffe's okay. And so is the pirate. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. What is this? Ross Geller : No Phoebe, don't look! You don't want to see what's under there!! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, the-the Foster puppets! Chandler Bing : It's not a big deal. It's, just it's right here, and it's all the time. Joanna : Well, thanks again for lunch. Chandler Bing : Yes, this, this was pleasant.", "summary": "Giraffe and pirate are involved in a mysterious incident in the Aroma Room; everyone escapes unharmed but the Foster puppets are discovered underneath."}
-{"dialogues": "Joanna : It was, wasn't it? Chandler Bing : The food there was, was great. Joanna : Wasn't it? Chandler Bing : So take care. Joanna : You too. Chandler Bing : Well, this was great. I'll give you a call. We should do it again sometime. Joanna : Great! I'm looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages? Rachel Green : Sophie's desk. Rachel Green : Chandler!! Are you gonna call her! Chandler Bing : Noo!", "summary": "Joanna and Chandler go to a restaurant together and enjoy the food. They exchange pleasantries before Chandler says he'll give her a call and they should do it again sometime. Rachel joins the conversation and mentions Sophie's desk, then teases Chandler about not calling Joanna."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm weak, and pathetic, and sorry. Rachel Green : Okay, you are going to tell her and you're going to tell her now. Chandler Bing : Ahhhh-I'm not going to call you. Joanna : What? Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. I'm-I'm-I'm sorry that I said I was going to when I'm not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isn't Rachel's fault. It's me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, mascara goop. And I'm really sorry, it's just that this is not, this isn't going to work out. Joanna : Well, this isn't how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty. Chandler Bing : Yeah, o-okay. Joanna : So... Chandler Bing : Well this is great! I'll give you a call! We should do it again sometime!", "summary": "Chandler has issues with women and confesses to Joanna that he can't commit or be intimate. He then changes his mind and says he will call her, but doesn't."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, so anyway Beth, what I'm saying is I should've considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. I've ah, I've recently learned what's it like to be on your side of it, and I'm sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. Hello, Jennifer? Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? Oh, she's not home huh? Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too. Rachel Green : So who's idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates? Monica Geller : Oh, some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, they took my idea! Monica Geller : That was you?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Okay, here you go. Gunther : Rachel, I made you a cocoa. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, are you guys okay? Gunther : Are you all right? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my.", "summary": "Joey regrets his actions with Beth and seeks forgiveness; Rachel and Monica discuss a customer's suggestion to put everyone in the diner on skates; Phoebe reveals that her idea was stolen; Gunther makes Rachel a cocoa."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan. Chandler Bing : Oh, so that's why the priest threw holy water on me. Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate. Joey Tribbiani : Hey I was crying because, because nobody believed Quincy's theory. Okay? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : I'm gonna be on TV!! Chandler Bing : No way! Ross Geller : Yeah! They're putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channel's gonna film it! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Who's gonna watch that?!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey discuss their recent experiences, with Chandler mentioning that a priest threw holy water on him due to his resemblance to Satan. Joey reveals that he was crying because nobody believed his theory about Quincy's supposed sightings, while Ross excitedly shares the news that he will be on TV discussing fossils found in Peru."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Thanks. You ready to go? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Saw a girl with that vest. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Anchorwoman : While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys won't live to see the fourth of July. Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? 'Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute! Peter Becker : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi! Hey, Pete you're back! Hey, check this out. Peter Becker : Wow! Skates! Monica Geller : Wow! You're a lot sturdier that Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was you're trip?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey discuss seeing a girl in a vest, while Ross thanks them for being ready to go. Anchorwoman talks about giving live chicks as Easter gifts, but warns that most will not survive due to improper care. Peter returns and is excited to see Monica's new skates, which are sturdier than Chandler's."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : Well... Monica Geller : Oh, what'd ya bring me?! Awww, hotel toiletries from Japan. Oh, these are gonna go in my permanent collection. You want some coffee? Peter Becker : Yeah, sure, that'd be great. Monica Geller : Regular or decaf? Peter Becker : Ah, which ever is closest. Monica Geller : Okay. Peter Becker : So ask me what I did today. Monica Geller : So what did you do today Pete? Peter Becker : I bought a restaurant and I would like you to be the head chef. Monica Geller : What?! Oh.", "summary": "Peter wants Monica to be the head chef at his new restaurant."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant? Rachel Green : What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass? Monica Geller : I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monica's Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. But Pete's just doing this because he has a crush on me. Rachel Green : And you're still not attracted to him at all? Monica Geller : Hmm, no. I mean how can I accept a restaurant from him? I-I-I-I can't. I couldn't even accept a necklace from Stu Vincent in the seventh grade. Rachel Green : Yeah, but Mon that's totally different. He was you're health teacher. Monica Geller : Oh, please. Monica Geller : What? Honey. Rachel Green : Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday. Monica Geller : Oh God, I'm so sorry.", "summary": "Monica is offered a restaurant by Pete, who has a crush on her, but she is hesitant to accept it due to various reasons."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I know. Rachel Green : Ow!! Monica Geller : Oh God! Ross Geller : Hey, you guys! Guess what? Rachel Green : Got a job on a river boat? Ross Geller : Y'know what I didn't wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? You're not my girlfriend anymore so... Rachel Green : Oh I see, so this suit is making a point. Ross Geller : Right. Rachel Green : Now that you're on you're own, you're free to look as stupid as you like. Ross Geller : You like it right?", "summary": "Rachel gets a job on a river boat and Ross dresses in his suit from a year ago to make a point about their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. Ross! Ross! I'm kidding! Rachel Green : Yeah, come here! Monica Geller : What-what was it you were gonna tell us? Rachel Green : Yeah. Oh! Was how you invented the cotton gin?! Ross Geller : Okay, good bye! Chandler Bing : So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, oh, about three months. Chandler Bing : Okay, so I guess that's about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!! Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel tease Ross about something, then Ross tries to tell them something but they interrupt him. Chandler brings up an idea he put in a suggestion box and Phoebe confirms it will happen in three months. Joey enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I got you something! Open it! Open it! Chandler Bing : Okay. It's a chicken. Joey Tribbiani : It's cute, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Whoa-whoa-whoa, you guys, do you know anything about chicks? Chandler Bing : Fowl? No. Women? Nooo. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lot's and lot's of love. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well no problem there. Chandler Bing : Easy Lenny. Peter Becker : So? I mean have you thought about it? Monica Geller : Okay. Here's the thing.", "summary": "Chandler gets Joey a chicken as a gift, but Joey and Phoebe quickly realize that taking care of a chicken is a big responsibility, especially for young people like them."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : Oh no, not the thing. I hate the thing. What's the thing? Monica Geller : I can't do it. I'm sorry, I wish I could, but umm, see you have these feelings for me.... Peter Becker : Wait, wait, wait, wait, that's-that's what you're worried about? If that's the problem, we've got no problem. Monica Geller : Huh? Peter Becker : No! Look, I was gonna tell you this over dinner, but I met somebody else. On my trip. Monica Geller : Oh? Peter Becker : Her name's Ann, she's a journalist. Ahh, we met on the plane. She asked me if she could finish off my peanuts, I thought she said something else, we had a big laugh. Yeah, I just, I mean I got, I got tired of waiting. Monica Geller : Oh, that's great! I mean I'm-I'm sorry, but I'm so happy for you. And now I can work for you! Peter Becker : I guess you can. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! All right, y'know what? I'm just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!", "summary": "Peter Becker meets a new woman named Ann on a plane and they hit it off. He becomes interested in her and tells Monica Geller about his feelings, but Monica is not interested in him. Peter then reveals that he has been waiting for someone to tell him how much he hates the thing, which Monica finds unexpected. Monica offers to work for Peter despite her lack of interest in him."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : All right. Monica Geller : Okay. Can you give me a little push? Peter Becker : Yeah, sure. Good luck! Monica Geller : I'm quitting!! Woo-hoo! I'm okay!! I'm all right!! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! That's exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman. Peter Becker : What? Phoebe Buffay : I'm just saying, this woman, I mean she's fictitious. No? Peter Becker : Why would you say that? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause you're still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so 'cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and... Peter Becker : You're good. You're good!", "summary": "Monica Geller decides to quit her job and embarks on an adventure with Peter Becker. Phoebe Buffay suspects that there may be more to their relationship than they initially revealed."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no, I'm fairly intuitive and psychic. It's a substantial gift. Peter Becker : Listen, can you promise me that you won't tell her though? Phoebe Buffay : Absolutely, oh I promise. Tell her what? Peter Becker : Thanks a lot. Phoebe Buffay : No I'm serious. I mean I'm intuitive, but my memory sucks. Chandler Bing : Okay, but this is the last time. With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick--chickeeeen. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : How's she doing? Chandler Bing : She?", "summary": "Phoebe is psychic and intuitive, but has a bad memory. Peter asks her not to reveal this to someone (likely Monica). Chandler and Joey make jokes about a \"chick-chick\" situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well yeah, don't-don't you think it's a she? Chandler Bing : I don't know. I can't tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly. Joey Tribbiani : Well, anyway, I got to go change, I'm ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks. Chandler Bing : Excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Who was up from 2 o'clock this morning until 5 o'clock this morning trying to get her back to sleep? Chandler Bing : You don't think I get up when you get up? Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh, here it comes. Chandler Bing : Yes, here it comes! I'm stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I don't think so mister!", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over who will stay home with their \"chick\" (baby). Joey wants to go out drinking with the cast, while Chandler insists he should be the one to take care of the baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day! Chandler Bing : And you don't think taking care of our chick is work? Joey Tribbiani : That's not what I said. Okay, I just meant... Chandler Bing : I know what you meant!! You notice that ever since we got this chick, we've been fighting a lot more than we used too? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, maybe we weren't ready to have a chick. Chandler Bing : I'll take her back tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Do you think we'll get our three bucks back? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? This blue suit, or this brown one?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey have a chicken they got for free, but it's been causing tension between them. Chandler offers to take the chicken back, and Joey questions if they were ready to have a pet. Ross needs help picking a suit for an event and asks for Joey's opinion."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, the brown one brings out your eyes, but your butt looks great in the blue one. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Oww! Ross Geller : Wow! That aspirin dance really works! Rachel Green : Oww! Ross Geller : Oh my God, is that still... Rachel Green : I'm fine, I'm fine. Ross Geller : No you're not. Rachel Green : Yes I am! Ross Geller : Rach!", "summary": "Ross compliments Rachel on her outfit, but she is not pleased. Rachel dances awkwardly after taking an aspirin, and Ross expresses concern for her well-being."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Look, I'm fine. Watch. Look at that. Whoa-whoa! Ross Geller : Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay? Rachel Green : No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. It's a very big deal, there's a lot of people there I have to meet. Ross Geller : And I'm sure you're gonna make a big impression. Hi! I'm Rachel Green. It's nice to meet you. Come on, you probably have a broken rib! Rachel Green : Well, I will go to the hospital tomorrow, it'll still be broken then. Ross Geller : Rach... Rachel Green : But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready. Ross Geller : Rachel... Rachel Green : Look, either help me or go. Ross Geller : Fine. I'll go.", "summary": "Rachel has a potentially broken rib and insists on going to a dinner at her boss's house despite Ross's concerns."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, but before you go, could you help me first? Ross Geller : Sure. I'll help you. Chandler Bing : Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?! Rachel Green : Y'know what? I cannot do this with my left hand! Would you please, help me with this too? Ross Geller : Ohh. Rachel Green : Okay. Let's use this brush. Ross Geller : Okay. This stuff? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : All right. Rachel Green : Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.", "summary": "Rachel needs help getting a tape out of a VCR, and Ross and Chandler offer to assist her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oke-dokey. Rachel Green : Oh-ho! Ross Geller : Sorry. Rachel Green : Hey! That's just poking me in the eye! Ross Geller : Sorry, I'm sorry. Close, close, close... Rachel Green : Okay, just sweep it. Ross Geller : I'm sweeping... Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : Sweep, sweep.... Rachel Green : Okay, now make it even, 'cause we don't...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are cleaning up a mess after Rachel accidentally poked herself in the eye. Ross tries to make it better by sweeping up the debris, but ends up making it worse."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? What? Rachel Green : We don't want it-it to be too much, we want it to be subtle. Ross Geller : No. No, y'know you don't, you don't wear enough of this. What? Rachel Green : Since when, since when do you think I don't wear enough of this? Ross Geller : Well I, close your eyes, I just think you're gonna like this a little better, 'cause, close-close... Rachel Green : Blow it. Ross Geller : Sorry. 'Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated. Rachel Green : Sophisticated like a hooker? Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Rachel to wear more of a certain type of clothing, but she resisted and they argue."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, guess what I'm doing tonight. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : I'm checking out the restaurant with Pete. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you. Monica Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I have to tell you something. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : But I can't tell you. Monica Geller : Okay, but wouldn't it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to like all my gods.", "summary": "Monica checks out a restaurant with Pete while Phoebe keeps a secret."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel? Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Does it have to do with Joey? Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed? Phoebe Buffay : No, but let's come back to that later! Ross Geller : There you go! Good enough for your party, huh? Rachel Green : Sure. Ross Geller : Yep? Rachel Green : Sure, I'll just sit next to the trans-sexual from purchasing.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at a party, with Phoebe and Chandler also in attendance. The conversation turns to Ross's sock, which he keeps by his bed, and whether or not it will be good enough for the party."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay? Rachel Green : Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed? Ross Geller : Sure, okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay, great! Umm, okay, just turn around. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I don't want you to see me naked! Ross Geller : Rachel, I've seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button? Rachel Green : Yeah, but that was different. Y'know? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think it's weird. Ross Geller : Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want. Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Ross sees Rachel naked and she doesn't want him to. They were going out when he saw her naked before, but now it's weird for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : All I have to do is close my eyes. See? Woo-hoo!! Rachel Green : Ross! Stop that! Ross Geller : Ah, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that any more! Ross Geller : Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. It's one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. Oop, oh yeah! Rachel Green : Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, I'm sorry, it will never happen... Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and I'm the king. Rachel Green : Rosss... Ross Geller : Come on, would you grow up? It's no big deal. Rachel Green : All right. Fine.", "summary": "Ross tries to imagine Rachel in various scenarios while they are talking, much to her discomfort."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yowzah!!! Rachel Green : O-kay!! See what you did, I'm gonna be doing it by myself now. Okay? Ross Geller : Aww, come on. Rachel Green : That's it. Ow!!! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh-ow! Ross Geller : All right. Rachel Green : Ow! Ross Geller : Look... Rachel Green : Ow!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have an argument that leads to Rachel leaving the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Ow! Ross Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Ow! Ow! Ross Geller : Easy. Easy. You have to go to the hospital. Okay? Rachel Green : Okay, I do. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : I really do. Ross Geller : Okay, I'm gonna get your coat and then I'll-I'll put you in a cab. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh wait, wait-wait, you're not gonna come with me?", "summary": "Ross helps Rachel after she gets hurt, but he doesn't want to go with her to the hospital."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Of course I am. I just have to make a call. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay? Rachel Green : Thank you. Oww!!!! God! Ross Geller : What?! I wh-, what's wrong? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, I just can't go to the hospital lookin' like this. Monica Geller : Does it involve travel? Phoebe Buffay : Noo! Monica Geller : Does it involve clogs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait, wait. Clogs, or claws?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are discussing something, but Rachel can't go to the hospital because she doesn't want to look bad. Monica and Phoebe join in and ask if the situation involves travel or clogs."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Clogs. Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Claws?! Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Okay, so it doesn't involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete? Phoebe Buffay : No! Monica Geller : What is it?! What about Pete? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know! Monica Geller : Okay, I feel like I'm talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me! Phoebe Buffay : I can't!!", "summary": "Monica wants to know what Phoebe's secret is, but Phoebe refuses to reveal it. Monica tries various names (clogs, claws, Pete) but Phoebe denies any involvement with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, I gotta go. Phoebe Buffay : I, but you're so close! No! Monica Geller : Okay, does it involve something to do with Pete's computer company? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just go. You're never gonna get it! Chandler Bing : I know. See, yes. That's Yasmine Bleeth, she's a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh. Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today. Chandler Bing : I did! But the store wouldn't take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out? Chandler Bing : If they can't find a home for her, they kill her! And I'm not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!", "summary": "Monica Geller is close to solving a mystery involving Pete's computer company, but Phoebe Buffay interrupts her. Chandler Bing enters the conversation and reveals that he found out that if a pet store can't find a home for a dog, they will kill it. Chandler decides to take the dog back to the shelter instead of letting it be killed."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, good, good, good, 'cause, good, 'cause I was kinda having second thoughts too. Chandler Bing : Okay. And it's not just chicks y'know? It's all kinds of other animals! Joey Tribbiani : That's horrible! Well, you did the right thing man. Chandler Bing : Thanks, I'm glad you see it that way. Chandler Bing : Ohhh-hoo, funny story! Monica Geller : I don't believe this! Wow, look at this refrigerator! It's gigantic! I mean I could live in this thing! I'd be cold, but I'm always cold. Oh my God, look at these spider burners! I love spider burners. Peter Becker : So you like it? Monica Geller : Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. Peter Becker : Oh, you're welcome. Monica Geller : Did you just smell my hair?", "summary": "The group discusses their thoughts on adopting pets and Chandler shares a humorous story about his past experiences with animals. Monica is impressed by the refrigerator in their new apartment and expresses her love for spider burners."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : Nooo. Uh-huh, no way. What? No. Monica Geller : Oh God. Peter Becker : What? Monica Geller : You still have feelings for me don't you? Peter Becker : Now, nooo! I'm just excited about the restaurant, that's all. Monica Geller : Pete. Peter Becker : Okay, I love you. Is that so bad? Monica Geller : No, it's not bad. It's not bad at all. It's-it's really nice. Peter Becker : Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And I'm okay with that. Monica Geller : You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. That's why I can't take this job.", "summary": "Monica Geller and Peter Becker have a conversation in which they discuss their feelings for each other. Monica reveals that she still has feelings for Peter, but he insists that he only cares about the restaurant they are planning to open together. However, as the conversation progresses, it becomes clear that Peter still has feelings for Monica and is willing to get hurt for her. Monica ultimately decides that she cannot take the job because she does not want to be the one who hurts Peter."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : What? Monica Geller : And well, we probably shouldn't see each other anymore. I'm sorry. Peter Becker : Okay, yeah. I mean... If that's, if that's really what you want, okay. Monica Geller : Okay, bye. Peter Becker : I'm sorry things didn't work out... Monica Geller : All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. Oh, wow! Rachel Green : Okay, you'd tell me the truth. Right? Ross Geller : Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray. Rachel Green : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!", "summary": "Monica and Peter have a conversation where she tells him that she wants to end their relationship. He agrees and apologizes."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's a duck. Chandler Bing : That's a bad duck!!! How'd the thing go tonight, Ross? Ross Geller : Oh, it was, nah, well.... Rachel Green : What thing? What thing? Ross Geller : Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. Easy. Chandler Bing : Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! Rachel Green : What thing? What is this thing? Ross Geller : I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross was scheduled to appear on a TV show for the Discovery Channel, but something went wrong at the museum. Chandler teased Ross about a \"bad duck,\" and Rachel asked what was happening."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, why didn't you tell me that? Ross Geller : Eh, 'cause I knew that if I told you, you'd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on. Rachel Green : I cannot believe you. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : That is the sweetest thing, I just.... Ross Geller : You should get some sleep. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : So, I'll umm... Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry I spoiled you're evening. Ross Geller : No, that's, no, as long as you're okay. So I'll ah, I'll see you tomorrow.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about him not telling her something, leading to them both expressing their feelings for each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Um-hmm, yeah. Rachel Green : See ya. Chandler Bing : What did you do? Joey Tribbiani : What 'cha doing? Chandler Bing : Having a swim. Joey Tribbiani : What about the chick? Chandler Bing : Chicks don't swim. Joey Tribbiani : Are you sure? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Should we try it? Joey Tribbiani : Sure.", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler have a conversation about something, then Rachel leaves. Chandler mentions that he is swimming, and Joey asks him about it. Chandler explains that women don't swim, but Joey suggests they try it out."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : See, I told you they don't swim. Joey Tribbiani : Wait. Give him a minute. Chandler Bing : Noo! Oh, it's okay, it's okay, baby, baby, baby. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, he clipped on, he said call him as soon as you get a chance, he's at Flimby's. Rachel Green : What's Flimby's? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, that's the word I use when I can't remember the real thing. Rachel Green : Okay. Hang up! That's it! Come on! Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel, that's what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I don't get through, they're not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! It's us versus them! Chandler Bing : Ye-e-es!!", "summary": "The group is discussing Phoebe's phone warranty and her struggle to get through to the customer service representative. Rachel is trying to help Phoebe by calling her father, but Phoebe insists on waiting for the customer service representative to answer. Chandler joins in with enthusiastic encouragement for Phoebe's cause, while Joey remains skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey. #ALL# : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, listen I gotta double check for tickets tonight. Who-who got what? Chandler Bing : I had one. Monica Geller : I need two. I'm bringing Pete. My boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now! Joey Tribbiani : Two it is. Ross, how about you? Ross Geller : Uh, yeah, I ah, I also need two. Monica Geller : Really? Who's number two? Chandler Bing : Who's number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play. Ross Geller : Uh, no, it's-it's just this person.", "summary": "Monica has a new boyfriend and needs tickets for a night out with him. Chandler and Joey also need tickets, while Ross is unsure if he needs any."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Like a date type person? Ross Geller : Yeah, kinda. It's this woman from work. I hope that won't be too weird. Will it, Rach? Rachel Green : No. No, not at all, not at all. I actually was gonna bring someone myself, so... Joey Tribbiani : But you said one. Rachel Green : I meant, me plus one! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Did ah, you guys mean you plus one? Ross Geller : All right, I'll see you tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay, bye-bye! Chandler Bing : Bye!", "summary": "Ross hopes a work date won't be too weird; Rachel brings a plus one; Joey misunderstands; and Chandler bids farewell."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Bye-bye! Rachel Green : Okay, I need a date! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, you guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate! #ALL# : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it. Monica Geller : Joey, what are you doing?! It's never gonna happen, she's seeing somebody. Chandler Bing : Yeah, and I don't have any cologne. Joey Tribbiani : The green bottle next to the shaving cream. Chandler Bing : Oh! Worm medicine for the duck. Monica Geller : Here you go. You can wear this.", "summary": "Rachel wants a date, but Joey borrowed cologne without permission and Monica is opposed to their relationship due to Kate's interest in someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ooh, I'm setting the phone down. But I'm still here! Just don't go anywhere I'm still here. Don't-don't switch or anything, 'cause I'm, I'm right here. Just one sec. One sec! One second!! Wait! One second! Just... Monica Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Monica, I'm scared!! Monica Geller : All right. Honey, that's-that's a sleeve. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : And! We also have speaker phone. Hold Voice : Please, stay on the line. Your call is important to us. Monica Geller : Okay, wait, you gotta hang up 'cause we're gonna be late.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica are on the phone, with Phoebe expressing fear and anxiety about something. Monica tries to reassure her that everything is okay, but Phoebe becomes even more scared and frantic. The call is interrupted by a voiceover announcement asking Phoebe to hang up and stay on the line, as their call is important to them."}
-{"dialogues": "Hold Voice : Thank you for your patience, you're the next caller. Phoebe Buffay : Yes!! Yes!! I'm the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up. Chandler Bing : Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre? Monica Geller : Of course not. Phoebe Buffay : No. Chandler Bing : Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else. Ross Geller : Hey, hey Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : How are you?", "summary": "Ross attempts to get tickets for a play but Chandler interrupts and starts asking Phoebe if she can take a duck and chick to the theatre. Monica declines, and Chandler asks Rachel if she wants to go with him instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Good. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : So it's looks like we're the first ones here. Rachel Green : Yeah, looks that way. First ones here! Wooo!! Ross Geller : Yay!! Rachel Green : Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy. Tommy : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Oh, I'm sorry, this is Cailin. Ross Geller : And! Break!! Rachel Green : Okay, uhh, I think I'm going to run to the ladies room.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel arrive at a party early and are the first ones there, leading to a series of awkward encounters with other guests, including a man named Tommy and a woman named Cailin."}
-{"dialogues": "Tommy : Okay. Cailin : I'll join you. Tommy : I'll get our seats. Ross Geller : Okay. So uh, well, this-this is uh, this is awkward. Tommy : Yeah? Ross Geller : Well y'know 'cause Rachel and I used to go out. Tommy : Oh, I didn't, I didn't know that. Ross Geller : Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh... Tommy : I think we're here. Ross Geller : Oh! Yeah.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel used to date, but he's now sitting next to someone he used to go out with (Tommy). He's awkward about it, and Tommy doesn't know."}
-{"dialogues": "Tommy : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay. Uh, huh. Excuse me, I'm sorry, I-I think you may be in our seats. Man : Umm, no, I don't think so. Tommy : Can-can we take a look at your ticket? Man : Sure. Ross Geller : Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh... Man : Oh, well I thought that ah... Tommy : Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didn't really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look you're surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?! Man : Uh, the usher told us to come... Tommy : Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! Here! Hey man, you want the aisle?", "summary": "Tommy and Ross Geller discuss a seat mix-up. Man enters and shows his ticket, but Tommy and Ross are skeptical. Tommy accuses the man of being an idiot and demands to see his ticket. The man explains that he was told to come to this section by the usher. Tommy becomes irate and insists that the man leave their seats."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, I'm good. Chandler Bing : There he is! Monica Geller : There's our star! Joey Tribbiani : So, so, what'd ya think? Chandler Bing : Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw. Joey Tribbiani : I-I wasn't in that. Chandler Bing : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate. Monica Geller : Hi! The Director : Excuse me. Excuse me. Sweetheart! Come!", "summary": "Monica introduces Kate to the group, and Chandler makes a comment about a previous play with naked girls on a see-saw. Joey denies being in the play, and the director interrupts to introduce Kate."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So that's the girl you like. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : I'm telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think he's baaad news! Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, wait a minute, you don't like the guy Rachel's dating? Well, that's odd. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, Lauren. Uh, you guys this is, this is Kate's understudy, Lauren. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Lauren : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Gosh, you look soo familiar. Lauren : Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day. Cailin : So. How'd you guys meet?", "summary": "Rachel is dating a guy named Ross thinks is bad news because he yelled at strangers. Chandler and Joey are surprised that Rachel likes him. Lauren, an ex of Joey's, comes into the scene and reveals she slept with Joey and was dumped the next day."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : Well ah, the short version is, I ah pursued her for a couple of months, then I gave her a check for 20,000 dollars, and she was mine. Monica Geller : Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version. Estelle Leonard : Joey, sweetheart, you were fabulous! Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys, this is my agent, Estelle. Estelle Leonard : How do you do. Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! Did they have representation? Joey Tribbiani : No, they-they weren't in the play. Rachel Green : We're not actors. Estelle Leonard : Ooh, what a shame! Because with her face and her chest I could really put something together. Chandler Bing : Could I borrow it? Cailin : Hi! Remember me?", "summary": "Monica pursues and eventually wins over Peter with a large check. Joey's agent, Estelle Leonard, praises Monica and Rachel for their performance but they are not actors."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi! Yeah! Tommy's in line for the bathroom and someone just cut in front of him, I think he's gonna snap. Cailin : Ross, I'm gonna go. Ross Geller : Go? Why? Cailin : I don't know. Could be because I don't feel like standing around all night waiting for some guy who may or may not scream. Ross Geller : But-but Cailin, he definitely will scream. Cailin : Good bye Ross. Ross Geller : Uh, oh-ho bye. The Director : Here we go people! Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, blah-la-la-la... Ah-ha! Joey Tribianni, gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production. Joey Tribbiani : Yes!!! Ha-ha-ha! The Director : Kate Miller's awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is... Thank you, boys and girls, you've ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mother's crab cakes! Excuse me!!", "summary": "Tommy is in line for the bathroom when someone cuts in front of him, making him angry. Ross believes he may snap. Cailin leaves, and Joey gives an uneven performance in a production of \"Boxing Day\" at the Lucille Lortel Theatre. The director criticizes Kate Miller's portrayal, and Marshal Talmant is criticized for his direction."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Anyone mind if I save this? Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, is the play over? Monica Geller : Yeah. Where were you? Hold Voice : Thank you for your patience, you're the next caller. Monica Geller : You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be going crazy. Phoebe Buffay : Nah. I kept myself busy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, yeah. I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Are you okay?", "summary": "* Joey wants to save a conversation\n* Monica asks where Rachel was during the play\n* Rachel returns and jokingly asks if she's been gone for five hours\n* Phoebe reveals she moved their belongings into each other's rooms\n* Joey asks if Rachel is okay"}
-{"dialogues": "Kate Miller : Fabulous. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, drama critics they're nothing but, but people who couldn't make it as actors. You know what you should do? Kate Miller : Become a drama critic! The Director : I am hurt! A plague on both your houses! Kate Miller : By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, classy. Kate Miller : Yep! I sure know how to pick 'em, huh? Y'know I gave up a part on a soap for this! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Yeah I ah, I gave up a job too. Kate Miller : Really. What? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, de-clawing cats. Hey, tell ya what. Let me walk you home. We'll stop by every news stand and burn every copy of their Times and the Post.", "summary": "Kate Miller considers becoming a drama critic after being dumped by her boyfriend due to a negative review she wrote. The Director is upset and insults both Kate and Joey, who reveals he gave up a job as a cat de-clawer for his acting career. Kate and Joey vow to destroy every copy of the newspaper with their reviews in them."}
-{"dialogues": "Kate Miller : Why the Post? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you didn't see the Post? Kate Miller : No. You? Joey Tribbiani : No. Why? Kate Miller : So you really think those newspapers are just jealous of me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, absolutely! You're talented and you're good looking. Kate Miller : Oh, you're sweet and cute. Joey Tribbiani : I know! That's why they trashed me! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Kate Miller : What?", "summary": "Kate Miller and Joey Tribbiani discuss the Post newspaper and its coverage of Joey. Kate questions why the Post would be jealous of Joey's talents and good looks, to which Joey responds that he is sweet and cute. The conversation then takes a surprising turn as they both realize they are speaking about different topics altogether."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I, I don't get you. I mean first, you hate me. Then you sleep with me. Then you want nothing to do with me, now you want me again. Kate Miller : What? So you never went out with an actress before? Joey Tribbiani : Kate, do you even like me? Kate Miller : Of course I do. Joey Tribbiani : Well so, how come you blew me off? Y'know? How come you were with him? Kate Miller : I don't know! I just, just do this! I-I always have to pick the like the smartest guy, or-or the most talented guy... Why can't I just pick someone like you? Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Kate Miller : You know what I mean. I mean like the sweetest guy. Joey, you're just so, you're so, so... Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay, okay, hey. There we go, let's get your feet up there. Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. I'm gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl. Hold Voice : Please stay on the line. You're call is very important to us.", "summary": "Kate and Joey go back and forth about their relationship, with Kate expressing confusion and frustration over her feelings for Joey, who she initially hated but then slept with before wanting nothing to do with him again. Joey tries to understand Kate's behavior and expresses his own feelings of being confused and hurt by it. The conversation ends with Kate telling Joey to stay on the line and that her call is important to them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Pheebs, you've been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isn't healthy. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, I'm fine, and y'know why? 'Cause of all the riboflavin. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Didn't you have that outfit on last night? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I stayed at Kate's, but ah, nothing happened. Hey, Pheebs, where were ya? Phoebe Buffay : I'm so, so, so sorry, Joey. I definitely am gonna see you're play. I swear you're play is very important to us, thank you for your patience. You're play is the next play is the next play I'm gonna see. Monica Geller : Anyway, how did it go with Kate? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was great! Yeah, I-I walked her home, and it was amazing how much we connected, y'know? Then ah, then she passed out, but then she woke up. Yeah? And we stayed up all night talking, and now we're like totally crazy about each other! Monica Geller : Joey, you had the night! Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Joey spent the night at Kate's but nothing happened. Phoebe was up for 24 hours and Monica told her to sleep. Joey then revealed that he and Kate connected and stayed up all night talking, but they are now crazy about each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : When two people finally realise their feelings for each other, and-and they talk for hours, and they-they learn all about the other person! Joey Tribbiani : You-you think? Monica Geller : Did you like learn about her family? Joey Tribbiani : Two brothers, one died! Monica Geller : Yes!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah?! Monica Geller : Oh! Gunther : This is from the woman at the bar. Chandler Bing : Oh-ho-ho-ho. Gunther : Sorry. She thought you were somebody else.", "summary": "Monica and Joey have a deep conversation where they learn about each other's families. Monica reveals that her brother died, and Joey shares that he has two brothers."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What time is it? Monica Geller : One. Ross Geller : One. Chandler Bing : 7:15. Watch doesn't work. Rachel Green : Tommy's supposed to be here soon, we're going to lunch. Ross Geller : Look. Look, I wasn't going to say anything to you, but... All right, I don't think you should be seeing Tommy anymore. Rachel Green : You don't?! Ross Geller : No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him. Rachel Green : Umm, or, maybe, I should stay away from all men. Ross Geller : No, it's not just 'cause I'm jealous. I mean I'm not, I'm not, I'm not jealous, okay? It's... Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.", "summary": "Ross thinks Rachel should avoid Tommy, who he claims is mean, after he yelled at a couple in their seats during a play."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, banging his hands together! Ross Geller : Okay, fine, fine. You don't want to believe me? No, that's fine. Monica Geller : We're kidding! Chandler Bing : Ross, don't. Ross! Ross Geller : You don't want to believe me, I'm Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny... Tommy : Whoa!! Ross Geller : Whoa, sorry Tommy. Tommy : What's in the cup, Ross? Ross Geller : Umm... Tommy : What is in the cup?!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group is discussing a play they just watched, with Chandler Bing and Ross Geller arguing over the ending. Chandler insists that the character got up and started clapping his hands, while Ross disagrees. Monica Geller joins in on the teasing, and Tommy enters the conversation, asking about what's in a cup."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, it's coffee. Tommy : Ice coffee? Tell me it's ice coffee! Ross Geller : It's-it's hot... Tommy : Hot coffee!!! You idiot!! You were gonna spill hot coffee all over me, huh?!! What are you just some big, dumb, stupid, doofy idiot, with a doofy idiot hairdo, huh?! Huh?! Rachel Green : What's your favourite thing about summertime? Monica Geller : Umm, going to the beach. When it stays light real late. Rachel Green : Yeah... Tommy : Hey! Rachel Green : Tommyyyy! Say, what's your favourite thing about summer? Tommy : Ooh, I don't know. Probably the smell of freshly cut grass.", "summary": "Ross accidentally spills hot coffee on Tommy, leading to an altercation. Meanwhile, Rachel and Monica discuss their favorite things about summer, with Monica preferring going to the beach and Rachel enjoying the extended evening hours."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ohh, that's a good one. Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Sorry, I'm late; sorry, I'm late! My duck and my chick and a fight, it-it was ugly. Stage Manager : Look, we held the curtain for you buddy. Come on, let's go! Let's go! Lauren : Vic! Where have you been, baby?! Joey Tribbiani : Where's Kate? Lauren : She got a job in L.A. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Lauren : I've been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? Where have you been? Vic?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ahh, go to the window. I'm wanna run down to the truck and show you something. Lauren : What do you got down there, Vic? What do you got under that tarp?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani returns late to a play after getting into a fight with his girlfriend's pet duck and chicken. His friend Chandler Bing teases him about being late, and Joey reveals that he has been waiting up all night for him. Lauren, Joey's girlfriend, asks where Joey has been, and he shows her something under a tarp in his truck."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : When is she leaving? Lauren : Tonight. What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : I'm coming up! Tommy : Hey, mind if I use the phone? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I... Chandler Bing : Why don't you use ours across the hall, 'cause she...has...problems. Ross Geller : Oh-ho, whoa! Sorry, Tommy. I almost spilled this hot coffee on you. Tommy : Yeah, but you didn't. Ross Geller : No, but it's-it's-it's hot! Rachel Green : Ross, would you just stop it! It's getting really old.", "summary": "Ton tonight, Lauren is leaving, and Joey is coming up to say goodbye. Tommy wants to use the phone, but Phoebe suggests using their neighbor's across the hall because she has problems. Chandler teases Tommy about using the wrong bathroom, and Ross almost spills hot coffee on him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I can't believe no one believes me! Phoebe Buffay : I do, I believe you. Ross Geller : You do Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. But I also believed her when she said I was next. Tommy : Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? Aww. Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, I'm so cute, I'm a little chick who's disgusting! God, you're so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!! Chandler Bing : Step away from the duck. Tommy : Ooh, sorry little Mr. Chic-A-Dee, sorry you went doody in my hand! Well, I guess we're not going out anymore. Whaa!!! Kate Miller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Kate Miller : I'm soo glad I caught you, I couldn't find you before.", "summary": "Ross can't believe no one believes him, but Phoebe does. Tommy teases Ross about his beliefs. A duck interrupts their conversation, and Tommy gets upset when it defecates on his hand. Chandler tells Tommy to step away from the duck, and Kate finds Joey and is glad she finally found him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Wh-wh-what's going on? Wh-what's this about L.A.? Kate Miller : They still want me for General Hospital. Joey Tribbiani : But, but wh-what about us? Kate Miller : Last night was wonderful. But I-I can't stay here just for you. Joey Tribbiani : Well, so, stay for the museums! Kate Miller : I'm sorry. Stage Manager : Joey, onstage! Joey Tribbiani : Well can you at least stay to the end of the play? I mean, I'll go to the airport with ya, I-I wanna say good bye. Lauren : Where are you Vic? Kate Miller : Flight's in an hour. I-I gotta go.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Kate are talking about her possible return to LA for a role on General Hospital, but they both express feelings of sadness and uncertainty about their relationship. Joey asks Kate to stay longer so they can see the museums together, but she declines and reveals that she has a flight in an hour."}
-{"dialogues": "Lauren : Vic! Vic! Vic!!! Joey Tribbiani : In a minute!! Lauren : So this is it? Victor? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess it is. Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick 'cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, you've got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so... I'm gonna get on this spaceship, and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, you'll be long gone. But I won't have aged at all. So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, I'm gonna want to meet her. Lauren : So long, Vic! Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's been two days. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing it's one of those 801 numbers. Right? Ross Geller : Phoebe, 800 is toll free, 801 is-is Utah. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, oh no-no-no, it's has to be 800. 'Cause all those big companies have 800 numbers, every one. Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one. Rachel Green : Phoe-be!!", "summary": "Vic (Joey Tribbiani) says goodbye to Lauren (played by an unidentified actor) before leaving for a 200-year journey to find alternative fuels on a spaceship. He promises that he will return and wants to meet Lauren's future great-great-granddaughter. Meanwhile, Monica Geller (Courteney Cox) and Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston) discuss phone numbers, with Monica pointing out that 801 is not toll-free like 800."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Sorry, I'm so sorry, I will pay you back. Chandler Bing : And yet, she's still not hanging up the phone. #ALL# : Hang it up! Hang up the phone!! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Fine! Oh-oh! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think I broke it. But that's all right, here's the number you can call. Monica Geller : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, wouldn't be cool if our duck and chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck. Chandler Bing : Or... Dick. Ross Geller : Hey.", "summary": "Phoebe accidentally breaks Monica's phone and offers to pay her back. Chandler tries to hang up the phone but Phoebe refuses to let go. Monica becomes upset and Joey suggests they name their duck and chick's baby \"Chuck\" or \"Dick.\" Ross enters the scene and interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something. Chandler Bing : Was it like a sneeze only better? Ross Geller : No, no, I mean, I mean a thing on my body. Joey Tribbiani : What was it? Ross Geller : Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. Chandler Bing : Whoa!!! Chandler Bing : No!! Ross Geller : Come on you guys, it's no big deal! Chandler Bing : Whoa-heeeiiiiii-iiiii-ah!! Huh.", "summary": "Ross finds a strange thing on his body while showering and asks Chandler and Joey for help in removing it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well what is it? Is it a mole? Joey Tribbiani : No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole. Ross Geller : Well, eww. What? Is it a pimple? Chandler Bing : No, it's... fancier than a pimple. Look Ross, why don't you just go see a... Rachel Green : Hey guys! What's... Chandler Bing : Okay, well, it's definite, two more weeks of winter. Ross Geller : Ahhh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, right. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. Vince : Good deal.", "summary": "Ross suspects a mole on his face, but Joey insists it's too wrinkly. Chandler suggests it might be a pimple, but Ross is grossed out. Rachel joins the conversation and finds out they're talking about a bump on Ross's face. Phoebe enters and announces she'll play her music at the coffee house. Vince agrees to go with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and these are my friends. People. This is Vince, Vince the people. Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey! Vince : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Vince is a fireman. Rachel Green : Wow! Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building before? Vince : 98 hot saves, highest in the force. Chandler Bing : Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred. Vince : Fire safety is not a joke, son. Chandler Bing : You're right, I know.", "summary": "Phoebe introduces her friends, including Vince, a fireman with 98 hot saves, who talks about his work rescuing people from burning buildings. Rachel asks if he has ever saved anyone before, and Vince proudly confirms his record. Chandler makes a lighthearted joke about Joey and him playing with matches to get Vince closer to 100 saves, but Vince emphasizes the importance of fire safety."}
-{"dialogues": "Vince : Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. See you Saturday. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Jason? Yeah, uh-huh, we're seeing each other tonight. Rachel Green : What-Pheebs?! Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know! I'm like playing the field. Y'know? Like, juggling two guys, I'm sowing my wild oats. Y'know? Y'know, this kind've like y'know oat-sowin', field-playin' juggler. Joey Tribbiani : So Pheebs, do they know about each other? Phoebe Buffay : Does a dog's lips move when he reads? Okay, no they don't. Ross Geller : Hey guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey.", "summary": "Vince goes on call and leaves, while Phoebe starts dating two men, one a kindergarten teacher and the other an unknown man she met at the coffee shop. Rachel questions Phoebe's actions, Joey expresses confusion about the situation, and Ross enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Well?! Chandler Bing : Okay, how'd it go at the doctor's? Ross Geller : Well, he said there's definitely nothing to worry about, it's totally benign. Joey Tribbiani : Well what is it?! Ross Geller : He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples. Ross Geller : At least they knew what yours was. Y'know, yours had a name. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, \"Awww, he's got a Ross.\" Ross Geller : Yeah, that'd be cool!", "summary": "Ross has an abnormality on his skin that the doctor could not identify or remove, while Chandler had his third nipple removed by a different doctor."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Pete's breaking up with me. #ALL# : What?! Monica Geller : I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk. Rachel Green : And? Monica Geller : Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you. Monica Geller : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you. Jason : ...and I know I'll never miss doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool knowing that you're making a difference in a kid's life. Phoebe Buffay : That is so great! Oh, I... Oh my God!", "summary": "Monica Geller is breaking up with Pete after he says he needs to talk when he returns from Atlanta."}
-{"dialogues": "Jason : Whoa! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!!! Jason : Ahh-ahh, we'd better call the fire department! Phoebe Buffay : No! No! Jason : No, no? Phoebe Buffay : Well, we don't n-n-n-n-need a fireman, we'd, we'd like a good mechanic. Oh my God, here they come! Well, we gotta get out of here! Jason : W-w-w-wait! Why?! Phoebe Buffay : Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? Ross Geller : Th-th-that's all it is, a third nipple. Y'know? Just your run-of-the-mill third nipple. Y'know? You can take it off. Just slice that baby right off! Dr. Rhodes : Take your shirt off, and let's see what we're dealing with here. What are you doing?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe Buffay notices a third nipple on Ross Geller and suggests calling a mechanic instead of a fireman to fix it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Just showing you my run-of-the-mill-slice-it-right-off third nipple. Dr. Rhodes : Well that's not a third nipple. Ross Geller : No? Dr. Rhodes : First of all, it's on your ass. Ross Geller : Well then, what is it?! Dr. Rhodes : Wait a minute, hold it. Johnson! Will you come in here a moment? Dr. Johnson : I'm with Hamilton! Dr. Rhodes : He's good with rear things, bring him in too. Monica Geller : I gotta go water Pete's plants. Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants. Chandler Bing : Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.", "summary": "Ross shows Dr. Rhodes a strange growth on his bottom, which Dr. Rhodes identifies as a cyst. Monica overhears the conversation and becomes worried about Ross's health. Meanwhile, Chandler makes a suggestive comment to Joey about watering Pete's plants if he breaks up with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them. Phoebe Buffay : ...and I-I can't take it! Y'know? I'm just, always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other one. It's making me crazy. Rachel Green : Well honey, then why don't you break up with one of them? Phoebe Buffay : Uh. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field. Rachel Green : So Pheebs, pick one of them. Monica Geller : Yeah. Which one do you like more? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Vince is great, y'know `cause, he's like a guy, guy. Y'know? He's so burly, he's sooo very burly. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, good, so there you go. Go with Vince.", "summary": "Phoebe is afraid of being caught in a compromising position with one of her many boyfriends, and considers breaking up with them. However, Joey advocates for playing the field and dating multiple people. Meanwhile, Rachel suggests that Phoebe should choose one of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive. Chandler Bing : Well sensitive is important, pick him. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sure, go with the sissy. Phoebe Buffay : Jason is not a sissy! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler. Ross Geller : Y'know I have dinner plans!! Dr. Rhodes : Thank you soo much for coming on such a short notice. Ladies and gentlemen, I've-I've-I've been practicing medicine for twenty-three years, and I'm stumped. #ALL# : Whoa. Monica Geller : Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! Oh, see you just need to find the right command.", "summary": "Jason is sensitive and Phoebe wants to pick him, but Joey makes a joke about him being a \"sissy.\" Dr. Rhodes is stumped by a patient's condition, and Monica tries to fix the lights in the den."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes, and the dimmer switch. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! For a rich guy he's got, that's a pretty small TV. Monica Geller : No-no-no, that's a video-phone. But hey guys you're not supposed to be here, so please, do not touch anything. Chandler Bing : I-kea! This is comfortable. Rachel Green : This place is amazing. Phoebe Buffay : God, that is the nicest kitchen. Monica Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : No! But it's the nicest kitchen, the refrigerator told me to have a great day. Joey Tribbiani : Look at this! A millionaire's checkbook. Monica Geller : Joey, put that down! Oh my God! It's Pete. Okay, get out!! How the hell do you answer a video-phone!", "summary": "A group of friends enter a rich guy's house and find a TV and video phone. They start touching things they shouldn't and get caught by the homeowner, who turns out to be an old acquaintance."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : Monica? Monica Geller : I guess that's how. Peter Becker : Hey Monica, how's it going. Monica Geller : Oh it's umm, good! It's umm, it's good, just here watering the plants. Peter Becker : Well don't forget that fiches over there by Rachel. Rachel Green : Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!! Peter Becker : I see him, you guys are just the worst hiders ever. #ALL# : Hey Pete. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, how ya doing? Monica Geller : Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.", "summary": "Monica and Peter have a conversation about watering plants, with Chandler hiding on the couch nearby. Joey enters and asks how everyone is doing, to which Monica inquires about Pete's need to talk, concerned it may be good or bad news."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. Hey, how's it going? Monica Geller : Oh no-no-no, it's still me. Peter Becker : Ah, no it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back. Monica Geller : Oh, oh, okay umm, so I'll see you soon. Peter Becker : Okay, I love you. Monica Geller : I love you. #ALL# : I love you, love you. Monica Geller : Okay. Well, it's good news. It's good news. Chandler Bing : So, what do you thing the good news is? Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?", "summary": "Good news is announced, but Peter has another call and will call back later. Monica and Chandler discuss the good news, with Joey interrupting to show a check for $50,000 written to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my. Rachel Green : Monica's gonna marry a millionaire!!! Ross Geller : Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom! Call Mom! Pete's Mom : Hello. Monica Geller : And that's Pete's Mom. Rachel Green : Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, \"Look how much money we've got!\" Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean it'll be dry, but people will like it. Monica Geller : Would you stop? We've only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we don't even know if he's gonna propose. Chandler Bing : Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? He's not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys that's like a third or fourth date kinda thing. Monica Geller : Well if-if that's what it is, then it's-it's crazy. Ross Geller : Monica's right. We're talking about getting married here. Okay? She-she can't just rush into this.", "summary": "Monica Geller is going to marry a millionaire, Pete, despite only being in a relationship for a couple of weeks. Her friends are skeptical and try to convince her to slow down and think about the decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh please, what do you know! You married a lesbian! Phoebe Buffay : All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince. Chandler Bing : Oh, so you're going with the teacher, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, it's just Jason's so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive it's just better than having just like a really, really, really nice butt. Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck! #ALL# : Good luck! Rachel Green : OH MY GOD!!! Sorry, I was just imagining what it'd be like to catch the money bouquet. Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me. Umm, is Vince here? Fireman : Oh sure. Vince?! Vince : Yo!! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I didn't know you guys actually used those.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay breaks up with Vince and starts dating a teacher named Jason. Rachel Green imagines catching the money bouquet at her wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Vince : So, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, wow. This-this isn't gonna be easy. Umm, I don't think we should see each other anymore. Vince : Uh-huh. G-good deal. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Vince : No-no it's okay. It's just that ah, I thought we had something pretty special here. And y'know I-I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to, and... That there's so much in me I have to share with you yet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, I didn't... Vince : I'm sorry, I can't talk. I'm gonna go write in my journal. Phoebe Buffay : Wait-wait-wait! Wait!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy. Ross Geller : Thank you, but I want to remove it Pheebs. I don't want to make it savory.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Vince have a conversation about their relationship, during which Phoebe reveals that she doesn't think they should see each other anymore. Vince agrees, and Phoebe apologizes. Ross Geller enters the scene and offers to help Phoebe with an \"it\" (likely referring to a pet or other living being)."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Y'know when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it. Ross Geller : Gimme this. Rachel Green : Hi! Okay, don't be mad at me, but I couldn't resist. Monica Geller : Brides magazines? Rachel Green : Yes, and I know that you'd say no if he asked you, but I'm sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you so would! Oh, you should get that anyway. Like for clubbing. Monica Geller : It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. I know it's a little sudden, and it's a little rushed, and it's totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesn't mean I can't. Right? I mean I'm-I'm crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Monica Geller : I know. I need more pie. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Mon umm, if you do get married, can I bring two guests?", "summary": "Monica is considering marrying Pete despite it being sudden and not typically something she would do. Rachel is excited for her but also surprised by the decision. Phoebe offers to bring two guests to the wedding if Monica gets married."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You didn't break up with that fireman? Phoebe Buffay : No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out he's incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me. Rachel Green : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well he'd prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal. Monica Geller : So then, are you going to dump Jason? Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and... Okay so Jason is sensitive, but now so's Vince Plus, Vince has the body y'know? So... It's really just about the math. Phoebe Buffay : Jason? Jason : Yeah, come on in. Jason : So Phoebe, you ah, sounded kinda serious on the phone, is ah, is anything wrong? Phoebe Buffay : Nah-ha!", "summary": "Phoebe tells Rachel that she's been seeing a fireman (Jason) and he's sensitive and creative, but also has a lot of charcoal. Monica asks if Phoebe will dump Jason, and Phoebe considers the pros and cons of being with him, including his sensitivity and Vince's body. However, she insists that everything is fine and there's nothing wrong."}
-{"dialogues": "Guru Saj : You must be Ross. Ross Geller : Hi. Guru Saj : I am Guru Saj. Ross Geller : Listen, I got to tell you I've-I've never been to a guru before, so... Guru Saj : Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, I've attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, let's take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. Come on, have a seat. Eeh, huh. As I suspected, it's a koondis! Ross Geller : What's a koondis? Guru Saj : I don't know, what's a koondis with you? Please, lie down! I've got a sav that oughta shrink that right up. Ross Geller : I guess it's worth a try. Guru Saj : Oh sure, we should see results-Whoa!! Clearly not the way to go!! Ross Geller : What?! What?!", "summary": "Ross visits a guru for help with his skin abnormality, but the guru's methods are unconventional and cause more problems."}
-{"dialogues": "Guru Saj : We appear to have angered it. Ross Geller : We?! We angered it?! Guru Saj : Oh, I think I see the problem. And I'm afraid we're gonna have to use a much stronger tool. Love. Ross Geller : Oh God! Guru Saj : Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to... Ross Geller : Ow!! Guru Saj : Oops. Ross Geller : What was, what was that? Guru Saj : Well it's gone. Ross Geller : What?! How's that?", "summary": "The group angered a powerful entity, and now they must use love to appease it. The guru suggests using a stronger tool, but Ross is hesitant and ends up getting hurt."}
-{"dialogues": "Guru Saj : It got caught on my watch. Ross Geller : Hey! Peter Becker : Lights. Uh, romantic lights. Monica Geller : Ooh, nice. Peter Becker : So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about. Monica Geller : Oh, right! I completely forgot about that. Peter Becker : Well ah, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I look at my life... Monica Geller : Yeah? Peter Becker : And I feel like I've conquered the business world, and I feel like I've conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world. Monica Geller : Wow.", "summary": "Peter wants to talk to Ross and Monica about something important, but gets distracted by Romantic lights."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : There's one thing missing. Monica Geller : What's that? Peter Becker : It's time for me to conquer the physical world. Monica Geller : Okay. Peter Becker : Monica, I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion. Monica Geller : You wanna what?! Peter Becker : I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! It's the most intense physical competition in the world, it's banned in 49 states! Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Peter Becker : Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, I've even had my own octagon training ring designed. Monica Geller : And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.", "summary": "Peter wants to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion, despite it being banned in 49 states. Monica is shocked and amused by Peter's desire."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think? Monica Geller : My parents will be so happy. Phoebe Buffay : \"Crazy underwear, creepin' up my butt. Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under--wear...\" Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. You'll get through this; you'll be fine. Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show. Jason : Hey. I was... Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Jason : I was passin' by and I saw that you were playing tonight, it's kinda cool seeing you up there. Vince : Whoa! Hey-hey! What's going on here? Who is this guy? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, he just started kissing me. Get him! Get him, Vince! Vince : What?! Jason : What?!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nPeter wants Monica to be in the front row when he wins and close enough to smell the blood. Monica's parents will be happy. Phoebe sees a creepy guy and starts singing about crazy underwear. Vince joins in on the sing-along and starts kissing Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay, I've-I've been dating both of you, and it's been really horrible. 'Cause y'know it's been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didn't know how to chose, so... I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm terrible, I'm a terrible person. I'm terrible. Vince : Phoebe, Phoebe relax, it's okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive. Jason : Yeah, and neither did we. Give yourself a break. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Jason : Yeah. I mean y'know, we haven't been going out that long. Come on, we haven't even slept together yet. Huh. Vince : You haven't? Jason : You have? Phoebe Buffay : Well, this is none of my business. Jason : I-I can't believe this! You-you've slept with him?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.", "summary": "Phoebe has been dating both Vince and Jason without telling them about each other. She reveals this to them and feels guilty for not being upfront earlier. Vince and Jason try to reassure her that it's not a big deal and they haven't made any exclusive agreements. Phoebe is shocked to learn that Jason has slept with Vince without telling her, and she ends the conversation by saying it's none of her business."}
-{"dialogues": "Jason : Y'know Phoebe, I'm gonna make this real easy for you. Phoebe Buffay : Well, that could've been really awkward. Vince : You made him a candle light dinner in the park? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but I-I-I-I can do that for you, I'm gonna do that for you. Vince : Uh yeah, I can't believe I ever went out with somebody who would actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooden area. Chandler Bing : Everything's gonna be all right. Okay, Dick? Guru Saj : Hello, I am Guru Saj--Whoa!! That's supposed to be a duck right? 'Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. He's got a, he's got a really bad cough, and our vet, he can't do anything about it. Is there something you can do? Guru Saj : Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat? Chandler Bing : Do you think that there's a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as you're driving into town there's-there's like a sign, and it says \"You're in Sample.\"", "summary": "Jason plans to make things easy for Phoebe by preparing her a candlelit dinner in the park. However, Vince is skeptical of this idea due to safety concerns. Meanwhile, Chandler tries to reassure everyone that everything will be okay, while Guru Saj offers unconventional solutions to Joey's sick duck."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey. #ALL# : Hey! Rachel Green : How'd it go with Pete?! Joey Tribbiani : Tell us! Monica Geller : You're not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over... Billy : I'm sorry. Ex-excuse us. I'm sorry, it's a little crowded. Do you mind if we... Robin Williams : Yeah, could you scooch? Billy : Yeah, move over just a little bit. Robin : Keep on scooching. Monica Geller : So guys, listen, I go over there, and umm...", "summary": "Monica goes to Pete's place and has an unexpected encounter with Billy, who asks them to move due to crowding."}
-{"dialogues": "Robin : Why? Why?! What's wrong with me?! Billy : What's the matter? Robin : I have a feelin'... I, my wife is sleeping with her gynaecologist. Billy : How do you know? Robin : Well y'know, he's got access. Billy : Yeah. Robin : Y'know it's that feeling you get, y'know? Billy : Like when you go bowling and you know you're in somebody else's shoes? Robin : That's the one. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so, so you went to Pete's...", "summary": "Robin suspects his wife is having an affair with her gynecologist, and Billy helps him investigate."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What happened? Monica Geller : I... Robin : Why is this happening to me?! I don't know, maybe it's my wound. Monica Geller : Forget it. Billy : So it's-it's not heeled yet? Robin : No-no, it's ooozing, oozing. Could you pass me the cream? Is there any-Oh, there's the cream. Billy : Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else. Robin : What is it, Tim? Billy : It's me, I've been sleeping with your wife. Joey Tribbiani : So you're the gynaecologist?", "summary": "Monica reveals that she has a wound and Ross tries to forget it. Robin's wound is oozing and he asks for cream. Billy reveals that he has been sleeping with Tim's wife."}
-{"dialogues": "Billy : Hey, I'm trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?! Robin : Ooh, Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? Would you--Give me this thing all right!! Enough! And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! Get away from me!! Billy : Thomas, come back here! Phoebe Buffay : So Monica, what were you gonna tell us? Monica Geller : I have no idea. Rachel Green : So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker? Phoebe Buffay : No-no-no oh, keep your name, don't take his name. Monica Geller : He didn't ask me to marry him. #ALL# : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Well then definately don't take his name.", "summary": "Billy and Robin have a conversation while Billy tries to have a private conversation. Robin asks for a napkin, causing tension between the two. Billy becomes upset and ends their friendship. Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and others enter the scene and Monica reveals that Pete did not ask her to marry him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : He wanted to tell me he's gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy. The Guys : Pete?! Rachel Green : Why?! What is it? Monica Geller : I don't know exactly. It's-it's sorta like wrestling. Phoebe Buffay : Oh?! Monica Geller : Yeah, but without the costumes. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : And it's not fake, it's totally brutal. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's two guys in a ring, and the rules are \"There are no rules.\" Monica Geller : So you can like, bite, and pull people's hair and stuff?", "summary": "Pete wants to compete in an ultimate fighting competition, which Monica and Rachel find strange. They ask him why, and he explains it's like wrestling but without costumes. Phoebe finds it interesting, while Joey and Chandler are skeptical and think it's too brutal."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking. Monica Geller : What's fish hooking? Ross Geller : Huh, what's fish hooking... Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste? Joey Tribbiani : What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath. Doug : So thanks for the warm welcome. It's good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, let's go out there and get 'em! Huh? And remember, there is no 'I' in team. Chandler Bing : Yes, but there's two in martini, soo everybody back to my office. Doug : You! Chuckles! What's your name? Chandler Bing : Oh it's Bing, sir. I'm sorry , I was just ah... Doug : No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. This team is about hard work, but it's also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! Ross Geller : That's right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. Thank you. Yeah, we have the reservations.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a team preparing for a sports game, with various members introducing themselves and discussing strategies. Joey mentions giving a duck a bath, while Chandler makes a joke about martinis. Ross and Monica have a brief exchange about fish hooking, which is not further clarified. The team emphasizes the importance of having fun while working hard towards their goals."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes!! Chandler Bing : All right buddy, way to go! Ross Geller : Dude, what are you doing? Chandler Bing : Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal. Phoebe Buffay : Yeesh, what'd you do about it? Chandler Bing : Well, I didn't do anything. I didn't want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom. Monica Geller : I gotta tell ya, I think it's okay to be that guy. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, maybe it's like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. Rachel Green : Y'know I don't, I don't understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin' her boob. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between 'em.", "summary": "Chandler's boss keeps slapping his butt, and he doesn't know how to handle it. His friends offer varying opinions on whether he should say something or just let it slide."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, can we please go eat? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. What are we getting? Monica Geller : Anything but stew. Ross Geller : All right so, Chandler, from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, don't turn your back to him. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad? Chandler Bing : What if Joey were president? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date? Rachel Green : Oh, ah with who?", "summary": "Monica and Joey discuss what they want to eat, while Ross and Chandler exchange advice on how to deal with a difficult boss. Meanwhile, Phoebe asks Rachel's permission to set Ross up on a date."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two aren't together, she asked if I could set it up, but if you're not cool with it... Rachel Green : Oh-oh-oh, which one is Bonnie again? Phoebe Buffay : You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. She's yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald... Rachel Green : Oh! That's fine. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Okay, good for you! Hoshi : You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half? Peter Becker : I told you, we're adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training? Hoshi : It's just hard when I know I have e-mail I can't get! Monica Geller : Hi! Peter Becker : Monica! Hi honey.", "summary": "Ross and Bonnie are interested in dating each other after Ross was previously in a relationship with Phoebe's friend Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Hoshi : All right, on the table. Monica Geller : Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I don't want you to get hurt, 'cause I kinda like you. Peter Becker : Oh, believe me, I don't want to get hurt either. I'm being smart about this. See these guys? They're the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. A house painter! He used to be a house painter. Monica Geller : Promise me you'll be careful. Peter Becker : I promise. Monica Geller : Hey, are we still on for tonight? Peter Becker : Yeah. Monica Geller : Okay, good, 'cause umm, well maybe we could have a little workout of our own... Hoshi : No! No boom-boom before big fight! Monica Geller : How 'bout just a boom?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Peter and Monica are discussing an ultimate fighting match that Peter is participating in. Hoshi, a former paid assassin, is training Peter for the fight. Monica is worried about Peter getting hurt and asks him to be careful. Peter promises to be careful and also mentions that he and Monica will have a workout of their own later. Hoshi interrupts and warns against any \"boom-boom\" (presumably referring to sexual activity) before the big fight."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies? Phoebe Buffay : Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. Bonnie : Hi! Rachel Green : This is Bonnie? This is Bonnie? You're Bonnie? Bonnie : I can show you an ID if you want? Rachel Green : Oh no, I'm sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you. Bonnie : Oh yeah, well I just started wearing bras again. Rachel Green : Oh, that must be it. Phoebe Buffay : Well I hope you have fun tonight. Bonnie : Thanks! You too.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are ready to go to the movies, but when they arrive, Rachel mistakes a stranger for someone else. The stranger, Bonnie, shows her ID to prove who she is, and Rachel realizes she made a mistake."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You said she was bald. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she was bald, she's not now. Rachel Green : How could you not tell me that she has hair? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I hardly ever say that about people. Rachel Green : Ohh, well, this is just perfect! Phoebe Buffay : Well I'm sorry, I thought you said it was okay. Rachel Green : Yeah, I said what was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, y'know, that girl has hair got all over head! Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe it won't work out. Maybe Ross won't like her personality. Rachel Green : Why, does she have a bad personality? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, Bonnie's the best!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are introduced to Bonnie, who used to be bald but now has hair. Rachel mistakenly assumed Bonnie was bald when she first met her, leading to some confusion and humor in their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Doug : Bing! Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. Wham! Good one. That was a good one. Keep at it team. Chandler Bing : What is with him? Phil : With him? You're is favourite, you're his guy! Stevens : We never get smacked. Chandler Bing : Well, that's not true, he-he smacked you once. Phil : Not on purpose, he ricocheted of you and got me. Stevens : I'm telling you, I need some smacks. I got a kid starting Dartmouth in the fall. Doug : Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing? Chandler Bing : No sir. Doug : There you go.", "summary": "Doug praises a proposal from Computech, and Bing responds with confusion towards Doug's behavior. Phil tries to explain that Bing is his favorite, but Stevens disagrees and mentions that they never get smacked. Chandler Bing then reveals that he did not attend Dartmouth College."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : God Ross, what is that? Ross Geller : Yeah, it's the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!! Announcer : From New York City, New York! Appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut! He's known for his confrontational business style. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Pete Beck-errrr!! Monica Geller : I love you, Pete!!! Announcer : And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! He's a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!! Monica Geller : Pete! Pete!! That guy's pretty huge! Peter Becker : Don't worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponent's strength and weight against him. Ross Geller : Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble. Ross Geller : All right! You go get him! Let's go!", "summary": "Ross and Monica attend an Ultimate Fighting Championship match where Ross's friend Pete is making his debut. Pete's opponent Tank is a 300-pound street fighter who poses a formidable challenge. Despite being intimidated by Tank's size, Pete has trained with Hoshi and plans to use Tank's strength against him. Ross is confident in Pete's abilities and cheers him on as he enters the ring."}
-{"dialogues": "Referee : Here we go gentlemen, here we go! Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's get it on!! Peter Becker : Uh-oh. Monica Geller : Hey! It's me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you. Peter Becker : It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant \"You suck!\" Monica Geller : I mean I-I thought you were nuts at first, but you-you did it. And now you can just look back at this thing with no regrets. Peter Becker : What, look back? Monica Geller : Well, you're not gonna get going are you? Peter Becker : Well let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion? Monica Geller : Well, no. But... Peter Becker : Well I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion.", "summary": "Monica Geller praises Peter Becker for his achievement despite hearing 20,000 people chant \"You suck!\", while Peter Becker expresses his ambition to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That guy stood on your neck until you passed out! Peter Becker : Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dad's garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck. Monica Geller : You didn't know that already? Peter Becker : Look, I'm gonna get better. Okay? I promise you. Monica Geller : Okay, just get a lot better. Fast. Peter Becker : Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration. Monica Geller : Yeah. That-that was the problem. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey! How long until Pete's fight? Monica Geller : Oh, about five minutes. Right now they're interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.", "summary": "Moss 865 was created after numerous failed attempts (1-862). Peter Becker learned from a fight with someone standing on his neck. He promises to get better. Hoshi thinks Monica's presence affected his concentration. Peter's opponent trains by disarming thieves in Iran. The fight is about to begin."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hot dog? Monica Geller : Four, please. I'm really nervous. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie? Ross Geller : What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasn't expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasn't expecting to like anyone right now, but she's really terrific. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, that's too bad! Ross Geller : No, I-I'm saying I liked her. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea. Ross Geller : Pheebs, I think she's great. Okay? We're going out again. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else? Chandler Bing : Hey! Which one's my turkey burger?", "summary": "Ross and Monica go on a date, while Ross also talks to Bonnie. Phoebe tries to get Ross to talk about other things but he keeps bringing up Bonnie."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, the fight's starting! Ross Geller : Okay, we'll be right in. So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today? Chandler Bing : Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, it's gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow I'm conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free. Joey Tribbiani : Fight's over! Chandler Bing : Excuse me, Doug? Hey there sports fan!! Doug : Bing! You got those numbers for me? Chandler Bing : No, I ah, I didn't do them. Doug : Oh, you forgot? Chandler Bing : No, no I just ah, didn't do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly don't deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.", "summary": "Chandler Bing is trying to deal with his boss slapping him nine times a day, so he plans an experiment to cure his butt of smacking. However, he forgets to give Doug the numbers he requested and instead spends time with friends drinking beer, avoiding responsibility."}
-{"dialogues": "Doug : Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. That's okay, you're still my number one guy! Bing! Chandler Bing : Doug!! Doug : Hmm. Chandler Bing : I'm a little bit uncomfortable with the that way you express yourself. Doug : Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass! Chandler Bing : No, no. It-it's not about the swearing, it's more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock. Doug : Oh? Chandler Bing : Oh, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. It's just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, it's making all the other guys jealous. Doug : Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! You're okay. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Doug got drunk and had a dangerous drive home, but reassures Chandler that he's still his number one guy. Chandler expresses discomfort with Doug's language and gestures towards his buttocks, which Doug misunderstands and thinks he's being complimented. The conversation continues with Doug offering to make things right and Chandler agreeing."}
-{"dialogues": "Doug : Ha! Ahhhhhhh! Chandler Bing : Ahhhhh! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe look, it's Ross and that girl. Phoebe Buffay : No! No! Look at that! It's a line of ants! They're working as a team! Rachel Green : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Let's go. Rachel Green : Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay that's, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, that's what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh... Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! That really is nothing, she is very sexually aggressive. Rachel Green : Ohh! Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, he's gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.", "summary": "Ross and a girl are on a second date, with Ross touching her hand on his thigh. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Rachel discuss strange living situations, with Phoebe preferring to live in a sweaty giant's shirt pocket and Rachel expressing disbelief at the idea of Ross breaking up with someone."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You said it was okay! Rachel Green : You said she was bald!! Phoebe Buffay : What?! What-what-what-what-what?!! Rachel Green : Phoebe, we can't, we just can't just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I don't get it. Aren't you the one that decided that you didn't want to be with Ross? Rachel Green : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Well isn't he your friend? Don't you want him to be happy? Rachel Green : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : So? Rachel Green : I just y'know, I didn't expect him to be this happy so soon. Ufff. Ooo-ooh!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel try to break up Monica and Chandler by shaving Monica's head, but Phoebe stops them and encourages Rachel to face her own feelings about Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, we killed them all. Rachel Green : Oh! Peter Becker : It's okay, it's not as bad as it looks, it's a precaution. Ah, I'm not supposed to move my spine. Monica Geller : Please tell me you're stopping now. Peter Becker : I'm fine! I'd fight tonight, if they'd let me. See this circle I'm marking off here? This is my zone of terror. Monica Geller : You are insane! You-you gotta give this up! Peter Becker : I can't until I'm the ultimate fighter. I will do it. I'm telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, I'm not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid. Monica Geller : Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!!", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel accidentally kill a group of people. Peter insists it's a precaution and continues fighting despite Monica's concerns."}
-{"dialogues": "Peter Becker : Y'know I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adam's Apple, but that really hurt. Monica Geller : Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then you're gonna have to do it without me. Peter Becker : Well if you're asking me to quit, then you're asking me to be someone I'm not. I've got to do this. Monica Geller : Then I've gotta go. Bye. Peter Becker : Mon-Monica? Monica Geller : Yes? Peter Becker : Could you leave a note? 'Cause I'm on a lot of pain killers now, and I don't know if I'll remember this tomorrow. Doug : So, in conclusion, the lines all go up , so I'm happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. Phil! Nice job. Stevens! Way to go! Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! Bing! Good job, couldn't have done it without ya. Chandler Bing : Thank you, sir. Stevens : Oh, excuse me. I forgot my briefcase y'know, by accident.", "summary": "Peter has a torn rotator cuff, fracture in his right forearm, and severely bruised Adam's Apple. Monica cares about him too much to watch him hurt himself and suggests he quit. Peter refuses and says he has to do it. Monica leaves and Peter asks her to leave a note due to the painkillers he is on."}
-{"dialogues": "Doug : Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! Well, what about you? You're not feeling left out or anything are ya? Chandler Bing : No. No, not at all, that's-that's ridiculous. Doug : Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Don't you? Chandler Bing : Ye-ye-yeah, yes I do! Doug : Now get on out of here, you! Tv Announcer : Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, he's just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just... Chandler Bing : Run! Run you crazy, rich freak! Rachel Green : Oh, I can't watch this. Joey Tribbiani : Check it out, he's winning! Pete's winning! Monica Geller : Really?!", "summary": "Doug and Chandler argue over a forgotten item, while Tv Announcer comments on a boxing match. Rachel and Joey react to the fight, with Monica expressing surprise at Pete's victory."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No-o-o!! Tv Announcer : Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favourite area. #ALL# : Oh! Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, if that's his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it? Ross Geller : Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didn't want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete can't. #ALL# : Ohh!! Chandler Bing : So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?! Bonnie : All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I don't know, we were, we were making out. Chandler Bing : Tell it again. Seriously. Rachel Green : I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?", "summary": "Tv Announcer: Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favorite area.\nPhoebe Buffay: Wait, if that's his favorite area, why is he being so mean to it?\nRoss Geller: This is ironic, considering your last two boyfriends didn't want kids, and now Pete can't either.\nChandler Bing: So, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!\nBonnie: All right, I was 15 and it was my best friend Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider and then suddenly...\nRachel Green: I mean, is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?"}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography. Monica Geller : Joey, she was listing the countries she's done it in. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I think we all learned something. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! That's my Mom's writing! Look. Chandler Bing : Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what that means? Joey Tribbiani : That you're actually 50? Phoebe Buffay : No-no, that's not, that's not me Phoebe, that's her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. Best Friends Forever. #ALL# : Oh! Rachel Green : That is so cool.", "summary": "Monica talks about geography; Joey and Phoebe find something interesting; Phoebe shows her high school yearbook with a friend named Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach? #ALL# : Yeah! Yeah, we can! Bonnie : Shoot! I can't go, I have to work! Ross Geller : That's too bad. Rachel Green : Ohh, big, fat bummerrr. Phoebe Buffay : So great! Okay! Tomorrow we're gonna drive out to Montauk. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Bonnie had sex there! Monica Geller : Would you look at them. Am I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid. Chandler Bing : You're not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook. Monica Geller : Thanks!", "summary": "A woman who knows about Phoebe's parents lives near the beach and could potentially have stories about them. Phoebe and her friends plan to visit the beach together but Bonnie can't go because she has work. Ross expresses disappointment, while Rachel reacts with dismay. Phoebe suggests they drive to Montauk instead, where Joey mentions a sexual encounter. Monica worries about finding a boyfriend and Chandler makes a joke about her becoming an old spinster cook."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, I'll be your boyfriend. Monica Geller : Yeah right. Chandler Bing : Why is that so funny? Monica Geller : You made a joke right? So I laughed. Chandler Bing : Ha-ha-ha. A little to hard. What am I not ah, boyfriend material? Monica Geller : Well, no. You're Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! Chandler Bing : Okay, so we've established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we weren't friends, say it's a blind date. I show up at your door, and I'm like \"Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.\" Monica Geller : Well I'd probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Oh, hey! Oh good, you brought food!", "summary": "Chandler Bing tries to become Monica Geller's boyfriend by making a joke and showing off his fake voice. However, Monica is not impressed and brings up the fact that Chandler has a reputation for being awkward and unpredictable. Joey Tribbiani enters the conversation and offers food as a way to lighten the mood."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, it's just my luggage. Chandler Bing : Hey!! Joey Tribbiani : Woo-hoo! All right! Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house. Ross Geller : Yeah? What about ah, that bike messenger you hit? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wasn't talking about his karma. Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, check out the hat! Chandler Bing : What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I can't have children!!", "summary": "The gang finds good fortune in unexpected ways - Phoebe discovers a client with a fuzzy back and a beach house, while Rachel and Joey bond over a funny hat. Meanwhile, Chandler reveals a dark secret about his past involving a mysterious hat and his ability to have children."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Seriously, where did you get the hat? Rachel Green : Ross gave it to me. Ross Geller : Yeah, I think she looks good. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you. Chandler Bing : Buy it for ya, or win it for ya? Rachel Green : Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back. Phoebe Buffay : And this time, they've ganged up to form one giant, super hat. Ross Geller : Go, go, go! Rachel Green : Oh yeah, now everybody wants to be under this hat! Phoebe Buffay : Oy!!", "summary": "Rachel receives a hat from Ross and her friends make fun of her until Phoebe reveals that hats are back in style."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What's with all this sand? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, Bob said there might be flood damage. Ross Geller : Yeah, either that, or he has a really big cat. Phoebe Abbott : Well, yes, it's kind've an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there. Phoebe Buffay : Knock, knock, knock. Phoebe Abbott : Ah, oh, hang on a second. Come in, come in. All right, so think about it, and call me back. Phoebe Buffay : Are you ah, Phoebe Abott? Phoebe Abbott : Ahh, yes. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Phoebe Abott, I'm your best friends daughter! Phoebe Abbott : You're Erwin's daughter?!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discovers a house with no bathrooms, but the ocean is nearby. Bob warns of potential flood damage or a large cat, while Ross considers another possibility. Phoebe knocks on the door and meets Erwin's daughter."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, I-I mean your-your old best friend, here. Lily, from high school. Remember? Phoebe Abbott : Oh gosh, Lily, yes. Of course I remember Lily. I... Then you must be? Phoebe Buffay : Phoebe. Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She named me after you I guess. Phoebe Abbott : Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! There's Frank. Phoebe Buffay : Yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!! That's my Dad, that's Frank! Yeah! I'm sorry I'm getting all flingy. Phoebe Abbott : Take it easy--if you want, there's cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! I can make sangria! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, sorry. Cookies are good, thanks. Phoebe Abbott : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Well, so, umm, anyway umm, I've been, I've been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him? Phoebe Abbott : Oh no, I-I'm sorry, I guess we lost track of everybody after high school.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is reunited with her old friend Lily from high school, who named her after Phoebe's mother. However, Lily has not heard or seen Phoebe's father, Frank, after high school."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Well, so tell me everything about my parents. Everything. Phoebe Abbott : Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, what? What was it? Phoebe Abbott : The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no, it was great. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know what a really good rainy day game is? Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : I mean naked game. Strip poker, we should totally play strip poker. #ALL# : No, no! Monica Geller : What are you crazy?!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nPhoebe Buffay wants to know everything about her parents. Phoebe Abbott reveals that they had a nickname for the three of them, but refuses to say what it is. Phoebe Buffay expresses her sadness at losing her mother, while Joey Tribbiani suggests playing strip poker on a rainy day. Monica Geller rejects the idea, calling it \"crazy.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, it's like a law! Rachel Green : Allll done! Monica Geller : Aww, thank you. Rachel Green : Okay, who's next?! Ross Geller : No-o-o! No way! Rachel Green : Come on, please?! I'm boredddd! You let me do it once before. Ross Geller : Yeah well, if ah, if that's the rule this weekend... No! Rachel Green : Yes! Ross Geller : Get away! Rachel Green : Just once!", "summary": "Rachel wants Ross to play a game with her and Monica, but Ross refuses. Rachel convinces him to play once before, so she asks again. Ross reluctantly agrees, but then changes his mind."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Stay away! Rachel Green : Take it like a man, Ross! Ross Geller : No! No! Rachel Green : Oh, come on! Chandler Bing : Big bullies!! Ross Geller : Ow! Ow! Oh, no-no-no! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, so, how are we doing?", "summary": "Ross tries to keep Rachel away from a party, but she insists on going. Chandler joins in and they both bully Ross. Phoebe enters and asks how everyone is doing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Bored and bored! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know what naked card game is never boring? #ALL# : Noo!! Monica Geller : So what's Phoebe like? Phoebe Buffay : I'm kind, caring, and sweet. What's Monica like? Monica Geller : Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is. Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Really?! Monica Geller : Oh well, where is he?!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses a naked card game that is never boring and then talks about Phoebe Buffay's personality. They also mention Rachel Green being curious about where Phoebe's dad is."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : She was acting, she was pretending like she hasn't heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look ! Isn't this what he would look like now? Monica Geller : Totally familiar. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. The Guys : Yeah! Monica Geller : Well, why would she lie to you? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, but we're having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, she's gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I don't know! So, you're all bored? #ALL# : Ohh!! Chandler Bing : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'm gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, all right.", "summary": "Phoebe discovers a photo of her ex-boyfriend on Monica's fridge and invites him over for dinner, despite claiming she hasn't heard from him in years. The group tries to come up with fun activities to do together, but Chandler is particularly excited about the prospect of Phoebe lying to her ex."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Fan out! Fan out! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ooh, y'know we could just do this. Chandler Bing : Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker. Joey Tribbiani : OH YES!!!!! Monica Geller : Strip Happy Days Game? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, I couldn't find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff. Ross Geller : Okay, Fonzy gives you two thumbs up, collect two cool points. Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasn't happened yet, but we're all very excited. Ross Geller : Okay, come on! Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! Okay. Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and let's see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.", "summary": "* Phoebe and Joey suggest playing a game of strip poker\n* Chandler joins in and they all agree to play\n* Monica suggests adding a twist where if someone gets five cool points, they can make someone take off an item of clothing\n* Ross tries to get cool points by suggesting they take Pinky Tuscadero to Inspiration Point\n* Joey is the first to lose an article of clothing in the game"}
-{"dialogues": "The Girls : Woo-hooooo!!!! Joey Tribbiani : All right, relax. It's just a shoe. #ALL# : Wooooo!!!! Rachel Green : Okay, your band is playing at Arnold's, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joey's boxers! Joey Tribbiani : Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, take 'em off!! Joey Tribbiani : Actually, y'know it's kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff? Rachel Green : All right, I'm gonna make more margaritas! Ross Geller : Whoa, hey! What are doing? Trying to get me drunk? Rachel Green : I'm just making margaritas.", "summary": "The group is excited about Joey's band playing at Arnold's, with Rachel collecting three cool points. Phoebe wants Joey to take off his boxers, but he refuses, instead offering a peek of his underwear. Ross tries to stop Rachel from making margaritas, but she insists it's just for fun."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay. Monica Geller : I think I'll help her out. What is going on here? Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : You painting his toenails? Rachel Green : Oh, come on! Monica Geller : Chasing him all around the room? Rachel Green : Monica, please? Monica Geller : He's totally flirting with you too. Rachel Green : He is, isn't he? I don't know, I don't know, I mean maybe it's just being here at the beach together or, I don't know. But it's like something... Bonnie : Hey!", "summary": "Ross and Monica overhear Rachel painting a man's toenails without his knowledge, leading to a flirtatious situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Hi Bonnie! Bonnie : Hi! My boss let me off early, so I took the train. Ross Geller : Oh. Bonnie : What are you guys doing?! Joey Tribbiani : We're playing Strip Happy Days Game! Bonnie : Cool! I'll catch up! Chandler Bing : So, you still don't think I'm boyfriend material? Monica Geller : Huh? Chandler Bing : I saw you checking me out during the game last night. Monica Geller : You didn't even take off your pants.", "summary": "Bonnie arrives early and joins Ross and Joey in a game of Strip Happy Days Game. Chandler questions Monica about her gaze during the game the night before, to which she responds that she was not checking him out."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, lucky for you. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Rachel Green : Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?! Phoebe Buffay : Shhh! Shhhh! Joey's asleep. Phoebe Buffay : After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm. Rachel Green : Well I assume the ah, happy couple isn't up yet. Did you guys hear them last night? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, I don't know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house. Ross Geller : Good morning. #ALL# : Hey.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a secret, while Rachel and Joey try to keep quiet about their own news. Phoebe tries to keep Joey warm after he passes out."}
-{"dialogues": "Bonnie : Hey! How did everybody sleep? Rachel Green : Oh, great. Monica Geller : Like a log. Bonnie : Us too. Rachel Green : I'm going for a walk. Ross Geller : Good morning. Nice breasts by the way. Bonnie : Hey, what happened to you? Rachel Green : Oh, ah nothin'. I just felt like hangin' out here and reading. Bonnie : Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came off. Rachel Green : Ohhhh, sorry I missed that.", "summary": "Rachel and Bonnie slept well, while Monica slept like a log. Ross made a comment about Rachel's breasts before going for a walk. When Rachel returned, Bonnie mentioned how much they enjoyed swimming in the water and even lost their suits jumping off a pier."}
-{"dialogues": "Bonnie : Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny. Rachel Green : Ohh-ha-ha! Bonnie : I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head. Rachel Green : Y'know, I gotta tell ya, I just loved your look when you were bald. Bonnie : Really?! Rachel Green : Ohh! Bonnie : Because I think about shaving it all off again sometime. Rachel Green : Really?! Bonnie : Yeah! Rachel Green : I mean you definitely should do that.", "summary": "Bonnie and Rachel discuss Joey and Chandler's humor and Bonnie's hair problems. Bonnie mentions she brought back beach debris in her hair after a day at the shore and wonders if shaving her head would be easier. Rachel expresses surprise but also admits she liked Bonnie's bald look. Bonnie considers shaving her hair again, and Rachel encourages the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Bonnie : Y'know what, I should do it. Rachel Green : Yeah! Bonnie : Yeah, thank you Rachel, you are soo cool. Rachel Green : Awww, stop. Come on. Now go shave that head! Bonnie : All right. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. She's avoiding me, she doesn't want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she won't tell me. Rachel Green : Aww Pheebs, that sucks!", "summary": "Bonnie decides to follow through with a plan, while Rachel encourages her and thanks her for being cool. Joey teases Bonnie about shaving her head, and Phoebe reveals that someone canceled on her at the last minute. The person, who is named after Phoebe, was supposed to tell her where her father is but didn't show up. Rachel sympathizes with Phoebe about the cancelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, don't \"Aww Pheebs, that sucks!\" me yet. Chandler Bing : Where ya going? Phoebe Buffay : Well, she's out of town so, there's gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is. Ross Geller : Uh, Pheebs, some people call that breaking and entering. Phoebe Buffay : Well, are any of those people here?! #ALL# : Oh, no!! No, no! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, look I-I-I do something nice, okay? I'll-I'll fill her ice trays. Bonnie : Hey, everybody! #ALL# : Wow!! Ross Geller : Wh-haa-haa! Look what 'cha did!", "summary": "Phoebe wants to find out where her father is and decides to search Monica's house. Chandler asks her where she is going, and Phoebe reveals her plan to search for clues in Monica's house. Ross warns her that breaking into someone's home without their permission is illegal, but Phoebe insists on doing something nice by filling Monica's ice trays instead. Bonnie enters the room and exclaims over Ross's messy mess, causing everyone to laugh."}
-{"dialogues": "Bonnie : You wanna touch it? Ross Geller : Nooo, but it, but it's great. Bonnie : Come on, touch it! Ross Geller : Okay. You can feel all the bones in your skull. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, that's right, that's right, it was you! Rachel Green : That was her idea, I just gave her a nudge. Ross Geller : She said you gave her the razor! Bonnie : Hey guys.", "summary": "Bonnie suggests touching Ross's shaved head and he hesitantly agrees. Rachel reveals that she was the one who actually came up with the idea and Bonnie confirms this."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Bonnie : So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean? Ross Geller : Ahh, no, I'm good. Bonnie : Okay, I'll see you in a bit. Ross Geller : Okay, have fun! Wooo!! Rachel Green : Come on see, she doesn't look that bad. Ross Geller : You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head! What the hell were you thinking?!! Rachel Green : I don't know. Ross Geller : You don't know?! Rach, you balded my girlfriend! Rachel Green : All right! Ross, do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else?", "summary": "Rachel and Bonnie want to go for a midnight swim in the ocean, but Ross is not interested. He becomes jealous when Rachel compliments Bonnie's appearance. The two argue, and Rachel reveals that she is still hurt by Ross's previous relationship with another woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Y'know, hey! You're the one who ended it, remember? Rachel Green : Yeah, because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you! Ross Geller : You still love me? Rachel Green : Noo. Ross Geller : You still love me. Rachel Green : Oh, y-yeah, so, you-you love me! Ross Geller : Noo, nnnnn. What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together? Rachel Green : Noo! Maybe! I, I don't know. Ross, I still can't forgive you for what you did, I can't, I just, but sometimes when I'm with you I just, I feel so... Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : I just, I feel, I-I just...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past relationship, including why they broke up and whether or not they still have feelings for each other. They both express mixed emotions and conflicting thoughts, with Rachel saying she can't forgive Ross for what he did but also feeling drawn to him at times. The conversation ends with neither of them making a definitive decision about getting back together."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I feel... Chandler Bing : Noo!! I don't care! I'm not, I'm not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice! Joey Tribbiani : But I made cards!! Rachel Green : Well! Good night. I'm going upstairs. Chandler Bing : G'night. Joey Tribbiani : Wanna play strip poker for practice? Phoebe Buffay : Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. Oh, shhh! Phoebe Buffay : No! No!! It's me! It's me! I-I didn't want to make any noise! Phoebe Abbott : Then don't break in!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a disagreement, leading Rachel to leave. Chandler refuses to play strip poker with Joey for practice. Phoebe accidentally breaks into her old apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Phoebe Abbott : What are you doing here?! Phoebe Buffay : I-I, came to fill your ice cube trays. Phoebe Abbott : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, you're just mean! So, just tell me the truth! Phoebe Abbott : All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni. Phoebe Buffay : My Father is Chuck Magioni? Phoebe Abbott : No, no, that's just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And I'm very sorry, but I don't know where your Father is, and that's the truth. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Phoebe Abbott : But umm, you're right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, ahh, okay. I'm your mother.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is searching for her father and turns to Phoebe Abbott, who lives in the house Frank Buffay (Phoebe's father) sold to her last year. However, Phoebe Abbott reveals that she doesn't know where Phoebe's father is, and is sorry but cannot help. In the end, Phoebe learns that Phoebe Abbott is her mother."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Heh? Phoebe Abbott : Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all floopy, and... Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling ya, you guys are totally getting back together! Ross Geller : That's not true! Her, she doesn't even know what she wants! Rachel's still mad about the whole thing. Chandler Bing : Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You don't need that kind've hurt. Take it from a guy who's never had a long term relationship...... Ross Geller : I know, but ahhhhhh!! I really wanna go up there and finish that kiss! Bonnie : Hey! Chandler Bing : Ahhhh! Bonnie : You guys, the water's great. You should really go in. Chandler Bing : Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Phoebe Abbott want to get back together but are hesitant due to various reasons. Joey Tribbiani insists they will get back together, while Ross Geller believes otherwise. Rachel is still upset about something. Chandler Bing advises against pursuing a relationship that may lead to hurt. Bonnie joins the conversation and suggests going for a swim, but Chandler declines after recently consuming an M&M."}
-{"dialogues": "Bonnie : Okay, well g'night. Ross Geller : Good night. Bonnie : Don't be too long. Ross Geller : Okey-dokey! Chandler Bing : There is not one hair on that head. Ross Geller : Hey, it'll grow back, right? And she-she's really fun, and she's cool, and-and I'm finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so , y'know? Y'know, and I'm finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesn't work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again? Joey Tribbiani : So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, you're doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on. Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnie's free tonight? Ross Geller : Hi.", "summary": "Ross is trying to move on from his past relationship with Rachel by going out with Bonnie. He is hesitant because he doesn't want to put himself through another heartbreak if it doesn't work out. Joey offers advice and tries to convince Ross to go for it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hi there. Monica Geller : That's that weird voice again. Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, you're gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear! Chandler Bing : Hi! I'm Dorf! You're date for the evening. Oh come on! Dorf on dating, that's good stuff!! Ross Geller : Hi! Bonnie : Hi! Bonnie : Rachel was just helping me out. My head got all sunburned. Ross Geller : Awww. Bonnie : Thanks a million. Rachel Green : Oh, you're welcome a million.", "summary": "Rachel helps Bonnie with her sunburn, while Chandler tries to set up Bonnie on a date with Dorf. Ross tries to make conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Bonnie : Okay, I'll see you in our room. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I know. Ross Geller : Okay, I gotta go. Rachel Green : Whoa! What?! Why?! Ross Geller : Well, I-I gotta go break up with Bonnie. Rachel Green : Here?! Now?! Ross Geller : Well, yeah. I can't-I can't stay here all night, and if I go in there she's-she's gonna wanna... do stuff. Rachel Green : Well, can't you tell her that you are not in the mood?", "summary": "Ross breaks up with Bonnie in their room, but Bonnie wants to have sex with him. Ross doesn't want to and decides to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesn't work either, I can't tell you how many mornings I woke up with her... Rachel Green : Whoa-ho. Ross Geller : Whoa-oh, okay! Yeah, why am I telling you that? Rachel Green : I don't know. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. It wasn't every morning. Rachel Green : Oh, making it worse! Ross Geller : Okay. Phoebe Abbott : So I guess you'd like to know how it all happened. Phoebe Buffay : I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out. I guess y'know I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off! Phoebe Abbott : Noo! No! It wasn't like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel reminisce about their past relationships, with Ross revealing that he has woken up many mornings next to Rachel after faking sleep. Phoebe joins the conversation and shares her own experiences with lying."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : How close? Phoebe Abbott : Well, the-the three of us we were, kind of umm, a couple. Phoebe Buffay : I don't even know how that would work! Phoebe Abbott : Well, we were... Phoebe Buffay : I'm not asking! Phoebe Abbott : Well, any how, some how I got pregnant, and, and I was scared. I was stupid and sellfish, and I was 18 years old. I mean, you remember what it's like to be eighteen years old? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Let's see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand. Phoebe Abbott : Well, I'm so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didn't even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I don't know, you're here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, everybody does! I'm a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didn't even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and I'm just, I'm gonna do the same thing to you. Phoebe Abbott : Wait!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay became pregnant at 18 years old after a relationship with someone named Phoebe Abbott. However, Abbott left Buffay without learning about her difficult past, including her mother's suicide and father's abandonment. Years later, Buffay is upset that Abbott didn't try to find her despite having 29 years to do so, and she vows to do the same to Abbott."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I don't ever want to see you again! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, where's my purse? Monica Geller : Shoot! We're out of soda. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'll go out and get you some. Monica Geller : Really?! Chandler Bing : Nope! Because I'm not your boyfriend. Hey Pheebs, how did it go? Phoebe Buffay : Well, umm, my Mom's friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom. Chandler Bing : I found a dried up seashores. Monica Geller : Sweety, what are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my new Mom, who-who's a big, fat abandoner!", "summary": "Phoebe discovers that her birth mother is actually her friend Phoebe's mom, and Chandler finds a dried up seashore."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, wait, Pheebs, wait a second! Don't you wanna stay here and talk about it? Phoebe Buffay : No. I'm just, I wanna, I need to be alone. Phoebe Buffay : Monica! Monica Geller : Oh. Ross Geller : It's over. Rachel Green : Oh, was it awful? Ross Geller : Well, it was loong. I didn't even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 o'clock shadow on her head. Anyway, she didn't want to stay. I called a cab; she just left. Rachel Green : I wrote you a letter. Ross Geller : Ohh! Thank you! I like mail. Rachel Green : It's just some things I've been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay left a conversation with Joey Tribbiani without wanting to stay and talk about it. Monica Geller entered and was informed about Phoebe's departure. Ross Geller revealed that he had been on a date that lasted until late and the other did not want to stay. Rachel Green wrote a letter to Ross expressing her feelings and thoughts about their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay. Wow, it's-it's 5:30 in the morning. So, I'd better get cracking on this baby. Rachel Green : Well, I'll be waiting for you, just come up when you're done. Ross Geller : Okay, I'll be up in, 18 pages. Front and back. Very exciting. Ross Geller : Oh. Oh-oh. Rachel Green : Hey! What happened to you? Why didn't you come up? Ross Geller : Done! Rachel Green : You just finished? Ross Geller : Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice! Rachel Green : So umm, does it? Ross Geller : I'm sorry.", "summary": "Ross finishes reading a document and excitedly tells Rachel he's read 18 pages front and back. However, when he arrives at her apartment, he finds that she has already finished reading it and is eagerly awaiting his response."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Does it? Ross Geller : Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole 'Does it?' part just another glance. Rachel Green : What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesn't, and if you have to even think about it... Ross Geller : No, Rach, no. I don't, I don't, I don't have to think about it, in fact, I've decided, I've decided that, that it.......does. Rachel Green : Are you sure? Ross Geller : Oh, sure! I'm sure. Rachel Green : I know. Chandler Bing : All right, there's a nuclear holocaust, I'm the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me? Monica Geller : Ennnh. Chandler Bing : I've got canned goods.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel debate whether something \"does it\" or not, with Ross eventually deciding that it does. Meanwhile, Chandler tries to ask Monica out in a desperate attempt to find companionship after a catastrophic event."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! Check this baby out, dug me a hole! Chandler Bing : Excellent hole, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no! No!! My hole!! Monica Geller : Ow!! Ow!!! Joey Tribbiani : What?! What?!! What is it?! Monica Geller : Jellyfish sting! Oh, it hurts! It hurts!! It hurts!! Chandler Bing : Well, can we help?! You want us to take you back to the house?! Monica Geller : It's like two miles! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and I'm a little tired from digging the hole. Monica Geller : Oh damn the jellyfish. Damn all the jellyfish!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey dugs a hole and shows it to Chandler and Monica, who are not impressed. Monica gets stung by a jellyfish while swimming in the ocean and is in pain. Chandler offers to take her back to the house, but she declines as it's too far. Joey is tired from digging the hole."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : We've got to do something! Joey Tribbiani : Well, there's really only one thing you can do. Monica Geller : What?! What is it?! Joey Tribbiani : You're gonna have to pee on it. Monica Geller : What?!! Gross!! Joey Tribbiani : Don't blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, he's right. There's something like uh, ammonia in that, that like kills the pain. Monica Geller : Well forget it! It doesn't hurt that baaad!!!! Joey Tribbiani : If you want some privacy you can use my hole. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm ready to get the hell out of here! Oh. Are you? Are you?!! Ohh! That's so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. But for you, yay! Ohh.", "summary": "Phoebe suggests using Joey's hole as a private space, but Monica refuses and Chandler suggests using ammonia to kill the pain. Joey proposes urinating on the burned area, which Monica finds disgusting."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : How was the beach? Monica Geller : Nothing, I don't know. Ross Geller : What happened? Monica Geller : Nothing. I'm gonna take a shower. Chandler Bing : Me too!! Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm gonna put this in the car. Rachel Green : Ooh, I have to go pack. It really does? Ross Geller : It does. It really and truly does.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss the beach; Monica says nothing happened; Monica wants to take a shower; Chandler and Joey also want to take showers; Phoebe puts something in her car."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It so does not!!! Ross Geller : She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! If you say that one more time, I'm gonna break up with you! Ross Geller : Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, \"If you accept full responsibility...\" Full responsibility! \"...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. Does it?!!\" Joey Tribbiani : No? Chandler Bing : Look, Ross, you have what you want, you're back with Rachel. If you bring this up now you're gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you. Ross Geller : Yeah, I know. I mean, no, you're right. Yeah I guess I'll let it go. But you-you understand how-how hard it is to forget about this. Joey Tribbiani : Sure, it's hard to forget! But that doesn't mean you have to talk about it! A lot of things happened on that trip that we should never, ever talk about. Ross Geller : What the hell happened on that beach?! Joey Tribbiani : It's between us and the sea, Ross!", "summary": "Ross wants to move on from his past relationship with Rachel but she wants him to take responsibility for everything that went wrong. He brings it up with Chandler and Joey who advise him to let it go for the sake of their friendship and his new relationship with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Ursula. Ursula Buffay : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well umm, I know that we haven't talked in a long time, but umm okay, our Mom is not our birth Mom. This-this other lady is our birth Mom. Ursula Buffay : Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : You know her?! Ursula Buffay : No, I umm, I read about her in Mom's suicide note. Phoebe Buffay : There-there was a suicide note?! Well, do you still have it? Ursula Buffay : Hang on. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you didn't tell me there was a suicide note! Ursula Buffay : Yeah. So how have you been doing?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around the revelation that the two characters, Phoebe and Ursula Buffay, discovered that their mother is not their biological mother, but rather a woman who lived in Montauk. The conversation is filled with questions and confusion as the two try to make sense of this new information."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I, umm, shut up! Phoebe Buffay : \"Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. I'll miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk.\" You just wrote this! Ursula Buffay : Well, it's pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right? Phoebe Buffay : Noooo!! Ursula Buffay : All right, hang on! Monica Geller : Pass the cheese, please. Monica Geller : My God, you can't even look at me! Can you? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : No. I'm-I'm to depressed to talk.", "summary": "Phoebe and Ursula say their goodbyes before leaving for Montauk; Ursula reads a poem she wrote about them; Monica asks for cheese; Joey tries to talk to Phoebe but she's too depressed; Chandler tries to cheer her up."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'll give you a thousand dollars to talk to us. Ross Geller : Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing? Chandler Bing : NO!!! Rachel Green : All right, that's it, you guys! What happened out there? Monica Geller : What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me. Rachel Green : Come on! Ross Geller : What happened? Joey? Joey Tribbiani : All right. Monica Geller : No! Joey, we swore we'd never tell! Chandler Bing : They'll never understand!", "summary": "The friends discuss making their annual beach trip a regular occurrence, but Chandler objects and offers to give Rachel $1000 to talk about it. Meanwhile, Monica and Joey secretly swore not to tell anyone what happened during their walk."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! It's eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish. Monica Geller : All right!! All right. I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn't stand. I-I couldn't walk. Chandler Bing : We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it. Monica Geller : I was in too much pain. Joey Tribbiani : And I was tired from digging the huge hole! Chandler Bing : And then Joey remembered something. Joey Tribbiani : I'd seen this thing on The Discovery Channel... Ross Geller : Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?! Phoebe Buffay : Ewwww!! Monica Geller : You can't say that!! You-you don't know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldn't...bend that way. So...", "summary": "Monica and Joey are on a beach trip when Monica gets stung by a jellyfish. They become scared and alone, fearing they won't make it back to the house. Joey remembers something he saw on The Discovery Channel about how to treat jellyfish stings, but Chandler is hesitant to try it. Meanwhile, Ross and Phoebe are oblivious to their friends' troubles and continue to enjoy their own activities."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ewwww!! Joey Tribbiani : That's right I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I'd pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldn't. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler. Chandler Bing : Joey kept screaming at me, \"Do it now! Do it!! Do it! Do it now!!\" Sometimes late at night I can still here the screaming. Joey Tribbiani : That's 'cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out. Phoebe Buffay : \"...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm.\" Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. Except for you. You go away. Phoebe Abbott : I'll go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasn't been a day where I didn't regret giving you up. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye. Phoebe Abbott : No, I'm not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didn't look you up was, well I was afraid that you'd react, just well like, the way, the way you're reacting right now, and can't we just, y'know, start from here? Phoebe Buffay : No. Phoebe Abbott : Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. I'm family, I'm it. Now, now I'm done.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey have a conversation about Phoebe's bedroom colors, with Phoebe claiming there are 66 different shades. Joey screams at Chandler to do something, which Chandler hears late at night. Phoebe expresses regret over giving up her sister, and Phoebe Abbott tries to make amends. However, Phoebe rejects her attempts and says she is done."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : But, it's not like we're losing anything. Y'know? Phoebe Abbott : Yeah, I guess you're right. Phoebe Buffay : It's not like we-we know each other or anything. Or that have anything in common. Phoebe Abbott : Well, I don't know. I mean it's not like we don't have anything in common. I mean I like uh, pizza. Phoebe Buffay : I-I like pizza! Phoebe Abbott : You do?! Wait, I like umm, the Beetles. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, so do I! Phoebe Abbott : I knew it, wow!! Phoebe Buffay : Wait-wait-wait, wait! Puppies. Cute or ugly? Phoebe Abbott : Ohh, so cute.", "summary": "Phoebe and Phoebe have nothing in common and don't know each other well, but they find a shared interest in pizza and The Beatles. They excitedly discover that they both think puppies are cute."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, well! But umm, still I'm-I'm mad at you. Phoebe Abbott : I know. I'm mad at me too. Phoebe Buffay : Well umm, do you wanna get something to eat? I'm kinda hungry. Phoebe Abbott : Hey! Me too! Phoebe Buffay : All right, stop it. Now you're just doing it to freak me out. Rachel Green : Oh-hooo, I missed you. Ross Geller : I missed you too. Rachel Green : Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much you've grown. Y'know? Ross Geller : I suppose. Rachel Green : You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, \"Once a cheater, always a cheater.\"", "summary": "Phoebe and Phoebe Abbott are mad at each other, but then they suggest getting food to eat. Rachel Green joins them and they discuss a letter Phoebe wrote, with Rachel praising Phoebe for owning up to her mistakes."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Umm-hmm. Rachel Green : Ooh, I just wish we hadn't lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective... Ross Geller : WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : Coffee house? Monica Geller : You bet. Ross Geller : And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!! Rachel Green : Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!! Ross Geller : I didn't know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn't finish the whole letter! Rachel Green : What?!! Ross Geller : I fell asleep!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about lost time in their relationship, with Ross claiming he took responsibility for a break and Rachel accusing him of sleeping through an important letter."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You fell asleep?! Ross Geller : It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means 'you are,' Y-O-U-R means 'your!' Rachel Green : Y'know I can't believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!! Ross Geller : FINE BY ME!! Rachel Green : Oh, oh, and hey-hey-hey, those little spelling tips will come in handy when you're at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica!! Monica Geller : Hey!! Rachel Green : Sorry!! I just feel bad about all that sleep you're gonna miss wishing you were with me! Ross Geller : Oh, no-no-no don't you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter!!! Rachel Green : And hey! Just so you know, it's not that common! It doesn't happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!! Chandler Bing : I KNEW IT!!!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a disagreement about a letter he wrote while sleeping. Monica joins in, and Ross mentions that he still has the letter. Chandler interrupts to share his opinion on the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Gin. Chandler Bing : We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked. Monica Geller : Will you stop! Chandler Bing : Okay. All right. Monica Geller : Okay, all right, I think you're great, I think you're sweet, and you're smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me. Monica Geller : Gin. Chandler Bing : We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked. Monica Geller : Will you stop! Chandler Bing : Okay. All right. Monica Geller : Okay, all right, I think you're great, I think you're sweet, and you're smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler play Gin and have flirtatious banter. Monica expresses her feelings for Chandler but he teases her about the time he accidentally peed on her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Wow! That ripped! That ripped real nice! Joey Tribbiani : How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide. Chandler Bing : You don't turn and slide, you throw it out! I'm tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed! Joey Tribbiani : Look, we're not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands! Chandler Bing : All right, how about we, how 'bout we sell it. Joey Tribbiani : All right. But, you're gonna have to tell them. Chandler Bing : Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? They seem all right with it! Chip Matthews : Hey Monica, it's Chip. Monica Geller : Yesss!! Ross Geller : Who's Chip?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Joey argue over how to properly throw a knife, with Chandler insisting on throwing it and Joey preferring to turn and slide. They later decide to sell the knife but are unsure of who to tell about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Shhh! Chip Matthews : Good runnin' into you at the bank today, so ah, here's my number, 555-9323. Give me a call. Later. Monica Geller : Chip, is Chip Matthews. Ross Geller : The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you? Monica Geller : 'Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute. Ross Geller : Monica, you're so lucky! He's like the most popular guy in school!! Monica Geller : I know!! Chip? Hi! It's Monica. 'Kay. 'Kay. Okay. Okay, good-bye. Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! Ross Geller : I was just leaving. Rachel Green : Good! 'Cause I've got a product report to read, it's like eight pages, I hope I don't fall asleep. Ross Geller : Why? Did you write it?", "summary": "Chip Matthews, a former prom date of Rachel's, runs into Monica at the bank and gives her his phone number. Monica is excited to hear from him, but Ross is skeptical and jokes that Chip is still popular in school. Monica and Chip have a brief conversation before Ross leaves, and Rachel joins them, complaining about a long product report she has to read."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow! Look at that, Chip Matthews called. I wonder what he wants? Ross Geller : Well ah, actually... Rachel Green : I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another guy. Ross Geller : Well, umm, why don't you give him a call? Rachel Green : Okay. Are you sure you wanna hear this? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sure. Rachel Green : Chip! Hi, it's Rachel. Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. Monica Geller. Ohh. Ross Geller : Oh, that's right! He called to ask out Monica! That-that's gotta be embarrassing! Phoebe Buffay : ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! Thank you, thanks. Ross Geller : Hey, here's a question; where did you guys get the finest oak East of the Mississippi?", "summary": "Chip Matthews called Rachel Green and left a message asking her out on a date, which led to an awkward conversation between Rachel and Ross Geller."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Uh-huh, first you tell us where you got the prettiest lace in all the land. Ross Geller : I'm reading your ad. Joey Tribbiani : Looks good, uh? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Stunning entertainment center. Fine, fine Italian craftsmanship. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center? Rachel Green : Why? I love that thing. Chandler Bing : You want it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Chandler Bing : Ahh, Gepeto, $5,000 dollars? Are you insane?", "summary": "Ross sells an entertainment center to a customer, but Chandler and Phoebe disagree on its value. Rachel wants it but can't afford it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks! Chandler Bing : All right look, I'm changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer. Joey Tribbiani : What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant. Chandler Bing : Nooo. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. What do you do? Chandler Bing : I can't believe you don't know what I do for a living! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I actually don't know... Ross Geller : Good, so do I Rachel Green : Something to do with numbers? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! Come on. Crazy. Oh my God.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Chandler Bing's attempt to sell an advertisement for $50 instead of the original price of $300. Joey Tribbiani questions Chandler's profiteering and Chandler defends his actions as an accountant. Phoebe Buffay interjects, mentioning that she doesn't know what Chandler does for a living. Ross Geller also joins in, but Rachel Green is not interested in the conversation. The discussion ends with Phoebe chasing away a cat that enters the room."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing. Nothing. Joey Tribbiani : What? What's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother. Rachel Green : You mean the mom you met in Montauk. She was a cat?! Phoebe Buffay : No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself. Ross Geller : Are you sure she's in the cat, or have you been taking your grandma's glycoma medicine again? Phoebe Buffay : No Dr. Skeptismo! I'm sure. First of all, okay, there's the feeling. Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. My Mother's favourite fish is Orange Roughy... Cats....like....fish! Hi, Mommy. Oh, I haven't seen this smile in 17 years! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, Phoebe's mom has got a huge peni... Chandler Bing : Let it go!!", "summary": "Phoebe believes her deceased mother is reincarnated as a cat and communicates with her through the animal. The group is skeptical but Phoebe is convinced."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Umm, when were you gonna tell me that you're going out with Chip Matthews? Monica Geller : Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews? Rachel Green : Nooo! It's not okay! I can't believe you would want to after what he did to me! Monica Geller : What, that little thing at the prom? Rachel Green : Monica! I couldn't find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch! Monica Geller : Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you? Rachel Green : I mean why, of all people would you want to go out with Chip?! Monica Geller : Look, you and I went to different high schools... Rachel Green : Okay, that doesn't help me, because we went to the same high school.", "summary": "Monica wants to date Chip Matthews despite his past mistreatment of Rachel in high school. Rachel is opposed to the idea and expresses her feelings about what happened between Chip and Amy Welch at prom. Monica and Rachel went to different high schools, but they both attended the same school."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off Chip's motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform they had to have specially made. Rachel Green : They had to have that specially made?! Monica Geller : It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes. Rachel Green : Oh my God, they told us that was for the mascot! Monica Geller : Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now he's-he's called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat. Rachel Green : Oh, you go out with him. Monica Geller : Oh, really?! Rachel Green : Yeah. Just, if it's possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy? Monica Geller : I'll try. Ross Geller : So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?", "summary": "Monica went to a high school prom where she was popular and got to wear Chip's letterman jacket and ride his motorcycle. Rachel had to have her band uniform made specially for a project in Home Ec class. Monica has a chance to go out with Chip now, despite previously thinking she would never get the chance. Rachel encourages Monica to try leaving him somewhere and having sex with another guy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I don't think any of them are gonna work out. Chandler Bing : Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails. Phoebe Buffay : Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive. Ross Geller : So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that there's y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think she's worried that y'know, she's gonna, she's gonna be replaced. Well, that's not gonna happen is it? Noo. Okay, I have to return a call in the other room. Monica Geller : Why can't you use the phone in here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. Ross Geller : So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebe's mom remind anyone of a cat? Monica Geller : Ross, don't start. Ross Geller : Come on, you-you can't tell me you actually believe that-that there's a woman inside that cat!", "summary": "Phoebe's mom returns from the dead and joins the group in the living room. Joey has a careful screening process for potential owners of wood and nails. Chandler makes fun of Phoebe's mom, who is acting like a cat. Ross thinks Phoebe's mom looks like a cat."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I believe it. Ross Geller : No you don't. Rachel Green : Yes, I do. Ross Geller : No you do-y'know what, you're not gonna suck me into this. Rachel Green : Oh sure I am, because you always have to be right. Ross Geller : I do not always have to be-okay, okay. Rachel Green : Jurassic Park could happen. Tony : Wow! That's ah, that's pretty nice! Joey Tribbiani : Pretty nice? Chandler Bing : You'll have to pardon my roommate, he wanted to marry this.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over whether or not Jurassic Park could happen. Tony and Joey are impressed, while Chandler wants to marry a dinosaur."}
-{"dialogues": "Tony : We don't have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it? We've got a canoe. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I, I really don't think we need a canoe. Tony : You gotta take the canoe! Chandler Bing : All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you get home, throw the canoe away! Peter : We're not throwing it away! I built that canoe! Joey Tribbiani : Good for you!! Rachel Green : You guys, you're never gonna believe what I just found tacked up on a telephone pole! Look kinda familiar? Ross Geller : Apparently Phoebe's mother also goes by the name Julio. Rachel Green : You guys, there's a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group trades items, including an entertainment center and a canoe, to raise money for a cat they find."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Do we have to tell her? Ross Geller : Yes, we have to tell her! Monica Geller : Oh, but it's made her so happy. Ross Geller : Little girl misses her cat. Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her. #ALL# : Yeah. Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : I hate when Ross is right! Monica Geller : He is right, isn't he? Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times he's wrong. #ALL# : You think?", "summary": "A conversation about telling someone a secret that could make them happy, but also potentially hurting their feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh-no, he's right. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs, about your mom... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : How's that going? Phoebe Buffay : So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred. Joey Tribbiani : That's so sweet. I'm gonna get some coffee. Monica Geller : Huh? What'd ya say Joe? I'll be right there.", "summary": "Phoebe's mom falls asleep on her tummy and purrs."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : I just feel so, uhh..... Rachel Green : All right!! Chandler Bing : I'm coming already!! Rachel Green : Jeez! Monica Geller : Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Rachel Green : Hello, Chip. Chip Matthews : Hey, Rach! How ya doin'? Rachel Green : I'm great! I'm great. I've got a great job at Bloomingdale's, have wonderful friends, and eventhough I'm not seeing anyone right now, I've never felt better about myself. Chip Matthews : So ah, Monica ready yet?", "summary": "Rachel Green talks to Phoebe Buffay about feeling unwell, then Chandler Bing joins them and they all wait for Monica Geller. Monica is not ready yet, and Rachel mentions that she has a great job at Bloomingdale's, wonderful friends, and is doing well despite not being in a relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : She'll be out in a second. So, Chip, how's umm, Amy Welch? Chip Matthews : Amy Welch? Wow! I haven't seen her since... So, Monica about ready? Joey Tribbiani : This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man. Guy : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldn't, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny 'til I started feeling like I was in a coffin. Guy : No, you, you can't fit in that thing. That's not deep enough. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? If I can't, I'll knock five bucks off the price off the unit. Guy : All right, you have yourself a deal. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. See?! I told ya! Joey Tribbiani : Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!", "summary": "Amy Welch is mentioned, and Chip is asked about her. Monica is also mentioned as being ready. Joey talks about a unit he has for sale, and Guy expresses skepticism about its size. Joey bets Guy that he can fit in the unit, and Guy agrees to buy it if Joey loses. Joey successfully fits inside the unit, and Guy is impressed."}
-{"dialogues": "Chip Matthews : Here, we are. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You still have the Chipper! Chip Matthews : The what? Monica Geller : That's what we used to call your ah, your motorcycle in high school. Y'know how a motorcycle is a Chopper, and you're Chip. Nevermind. Chip Matthews : No, I think it's cute. Monica Geller : Wow! A lipper from Chipper. Chip Matthews : So you still in touch with anyone from high school? Monica Geller : Umm. Well, there's Rachel, and umm, I think that's it. How bout you? Chip Matthews : Oh yeah, I still hang with Simmons and Zana, y'know. I see Spindler a lot. Devane, Kelly, and I run into Goldie from time to time. Steve Brown, Zuchoff, McGwire, J.T., Breadsly. Monica Geller : Is that all?", "summary": "Chip still has his high school motorcycle nickname \"Chipper,\" while Monica only remembers it as \"a lipper from Chipper.\" They discuss if they are in touch with their old high school friends. Chip mentions he keeps in touch with several people from high school, including Simmons and Zana, but Monica can only think of Rachel and Goldie."}
-{"dialogues": "Chip Matthews : Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman. Monica Geller : Ohh, how is he? Chip Matthews : Not so good, Simmons and I gave him a wedgie. Monica Geller : Isn't he an architect now? Chip Matthews : Yeah, they still wear underwear. Chandler Bing : OH MY GOD!!! Joey Tribbiani : WHAT?!! Chandler Bing : Are you all right?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Chandler Bing : What happened?!!", "summary": "Richard Dorfman, a former classmate, is encountered by Chip Matthews and Monica Geller after high school. However, their encounter is not pleasant as they reveal that they gave Richard a wedgie with Simmons. Furthermore, Richard is now an architect but still wears underwear. The conversation ends abruptly as Chandler Bing expresses shock and concern over Monica's well-being."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Awww, man! He promised he wouldn't take the chairs!! Chandler Bing : What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didn't think big enough to fit a grown man! Chandler Bing : So-You got in voluntarily?! Joey Tribbiani : I was tryin' to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what I'm gonna do? Chandler Bing : BEND OVER?!!! Chip Matthews : ...and then Zana, just let one rip!! Monica Geller : Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, 'cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I don't even know where you work? Chip Matthews : You know where I work! Monica Geller : I do?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler are locked in a storage unit after a man they tried to sell it to took their belongings. Joey was trying to make a sale, while Chandler is furious about being trapped. Monica changes the subject, but Chip reveals he works with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chip Matthews : The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time. Monica Geller : You still work at the multiplex? Chip Matthews : Oh, like I'd give up that job! Free popcorn and candy, anytime I want. I can get you free posters for your room. Monica Geller : Thanks, I'm set. Do you still live with your parents? Chip Matthews : Oh yeah, but I can stay out as late as I want. Rachel Green : Wow! They really got you guys. Your T.V. The chairs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo. Joey Tribbiani : Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is! Monica Geller : Oh my God! What happened? Chandler Bing : Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are amazed that Chandler and Joey still live with their parents. Chip works at a movie theater and gets free perks. Monica lives with her parents but can stay out late. Phoebe finds a lost card game and Joey loses it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So, how was your date? Monica Geller : Well, y'know how I always wanted to go out with Chip Matthews in high school? Rachel Green : Um-hmm. Monica Geller : Well, tonight, I actually went out with Chip Matthews in high school. Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : No, it's okay, not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews, I got to dump Chip Matthews. Rachel Green : Ohh! That's so great! Monica Geller : I know! Ross Geller : Hey! So ah, what did the insurance company say? Chandler Bing : Oh, they said uh, \"You don't have insurance here, so stop calling us.\"", "summary": "Monica went on a date with her high school crush, Chip Matthews, and dumped him. Rachel is supportive but Ross interrupts with his own problem with an insurance company. Chandler adds to the conversation by sharing the insurance company's response."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You didn't tell her?! Okay, fine! Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Listen uhh, this cat belongs to a little girl. There are flyers all over the place. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, sweetie. Monica Geller : Hey, we can take her back with you if you want. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right? Chandler Bing : That's a good call. Right. Ross Geller : No! No! Look-Hey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom. This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, how many parents have you lost? Ross Geller : None.", "summary": "The group discovers a lost cat and tries to figure out who its owner is. Phoebe resists returning the cat because she wants to respect the cat's decision, while Ross gets frustrated with Phoebe's attitude and insists that the cat belongs to him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then you don't know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if I'm wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive. Ross Geller : I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : I don't know what to say. Rachel Green : You could.... say you're sorry to her mom. Phoebe Buffay : I think she would like that. Ross Geller : Come here, here, come here, come here, Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friend's mother. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. We both forgive you. Rachel Green : So honey, what are you gonna do about the little girl? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And you're welcome to come back anytime.", "summary": "Mother Buffay returns as a ghost and Ross says something insensitive about her being just a cat. Phoebe forgives him and they all hug. Rachel asks what will happen to the little girl and Phoebe says she still means a lot to her and invites her mom back anytime."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, we'd really appreciate it. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, Mom, I'll take you home. Rachel Green : I'll go with you. Monica Geller : Me too. Ross Geller : Oh! Y'know, I've got an extra futon. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you don't have to brag! We got nothing here!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!! We are so in luck! Treeger said that we could have all this cool stuff from the basement. Wait right there. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, I'm, I'm paddling away! Joey Tribbiani : Huh?! Chandler Bing : Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel offer to take Chandler's mother home, while Phoebe suggests she could come back as a couch. Ross offers his futon, and Joey expresses excitement over Treeger's offer of basement items. However, Chandler quickly becomes disillusioned when he realizes the items are rusty and worthless."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped! Chandler Bing : Could we be more white trash? Monica Geller : How desperate am I? Rachel Green : Oh! Good thing Chandler's not here, he always wins at this game. Monica Geller : I just told my Mom I'd cater a party for her. Phoebe Buffay : How come? Monica Geller : Because I need the money, and I thought that it'd be a great way to get rid of that last little schmidgen of self-respect. Ross Geller : Come on, I think this is a good thing. I don't think Mom would've hired you if she didn't think you were good at what you do. Monica Geller : You don't have to stick up for her. She can't here you. Rachel Green : Hey! Umm, do you guys have any juice?", "summary": "Monica catered a party for her mom and revealed that she did it to get rid of her last bit of self-respect. Ross supported Monica and said that her mother wouldn't have hired her if she didn't think she was good at what she does."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Just pickle. Chandler Bing : Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday. Rachel Green : My boss, Joanna? Wow, that must've been awkward. Chandler Bing : Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink. Rachel Green : You ah, you didn't say 'Yes' to that did you? Chandler Bing : No. No! Joanna : Hello, Rachel. Chandler Bing : Well, not at first. Rachel Green : What is she doing here? Rachel Green : I don't understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a 'big, dull dud.'", "summary": "Joey picks a random topic and Chandler tells an awkward story about bumping into Joanna, who then greets Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level. Rachel Green : Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now! Chandler Bing : Oh, come on! It's not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually I'm pretty much just in there by myself. Rachel Green : Chandler!! Promise me, you will end it. Chandler Bing : Okay, I promise, I'll end it. Rachel Green : Thank you. Chandler Bing : I hope you know what I'm giving up for ya, because she's not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-eh-eah! Oh-oh, sorry, I-I knew what he meant. Judy Geller : How's the hired help? Monica Geller : Doing great, the quiches are coming along.", "summary": "Chandler and Rachel almost got fired at work while Chandler was trying to take their relationship to the next level. Chandler promised to end it, but then joked about the boss being a woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : What's this? Blue nail polish? Monica Geller : Yeah, I thought it was cute. Judy Geller : Ahh, that's what your Grandmother's hands looked like when we found her. Monica Geller : Let me ask you a question. Judy Geller : Hmm. Monica Geller : Why did you hire me? Judy Geller : Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you weren't sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks I'm good. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I didn't hear that. Monica Geller : Oh yeah, she didn't hire me out of pity, it wasn't so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks I'm good.", "summary": "Monica hires Phoebe as a waitress at her restaurant despite Judy's disapproval, believing Phoebe to be talented. Judy insults Phoebe and questions Monica's decision, revealing that she assumes Monica slept with Richard, the host of the party where the food was good, and someone at a lesbian wedding for the same reason."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wow! And hey, it's cool if you're a lesbian! The Salesman : Good afternoon, are you the decision maker of the house? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhhh. The Salesman : Do you ah, currently own a set of encyclopedias? Joey Tribbiani : No! No. But ah, try the classifieds, people sell everything in there. The Salesman : Actually, I'm not buying. I'm selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though you're not really sure what they're talking about? Ross Geller : ...I'm telling you it's totally unconstituional. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, I totally agree. Monica Geller : ...I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. #ALL# : Nooo!!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around a salesman trying to sell encyclopedias to the group, with Joey recommending people sell their unwanted items in the classifieds instead. Ross and Chandler discuss the legality of the situation, while Monica expresses her support for the person in question."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : ...it was like the Algonquin kids table. The Salesman : Excuse me, I'm sorry, you haven't said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-well-yeah! Yeah-oh-yeah. Come on in. Phoebe Buffay : That's weird. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Your nails. Monica Geller : Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones. I just did it so my Mom wouldn't give me grief about me biting them. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no, I meant that it's weird that you only have nine now. Monica Geller : Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put... Oh my God! It's in the quiche! Oh My God! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't panic. I'm gonna go to the store, I'm gonna get you another set of nails, no one's gonna know, and you're gonna look great. Oh! Oh, it's 'cause they're gonna eat-that's the problem.", "summary": "The group is at a restaurant when Monica realizes she has lost one of her fake fingernails in the quiche. They all start panicking and trying to figure out what to do."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : Honey, don't bite your nails. Monica Geller : Okay ah, please don't freak out. Umm, but ah, there's a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and there's no way to know which one. Phoebe Buffay : And! Whoever finds it wins the prize! Judy Geller : I'm not freaking out. Monica Geller : Then why are you laughing? Judy Geller : It's nothing, it's just that now your Father owes me five dollars. Monica Geller : What? You bet I'd lose a nail? Judy Geller : Oh no, don't be silly. I just bet I'd need these. Monica Geller : Frozen lasagnas? Judy Geller : Um-hmm.", "summary": "A blue fingernail is hidden in one of a quiche cup, and whoever finds it wins a prize. Judy Geller bets Monica Geller that she will need to use her frozen lasagnas."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You bet that I'd screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was... Judy Geller : No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica. Monica Geller : You promised Dr. Weinburg, you'd never use that phrase. Judy Geller : Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, you've never been able to laugh at yourself. Monica Geller : That's right. My Mom doesn't have any faith in me! Oh, that's hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Phoebe Buffay : I don't get it. Judy Geller : No, I have faith... Monica Geller : No! You have lasagnas! Oven : Ding! Phoebe Buffay : Op, the ruined quiches are ready.", "summary": "Monica screws up and Judy reveals she was only hired for her skills, not because of Monica's mom's lack of faith in her. Monica jokes about it, but Phoebe doesn't understand. Judy has lasagnas instead of quiches."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It just doesn't...feel like we're breaking up. Joanna : No, we are. I'm sad. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joanna : Yes. Uh, can't you wait until tomorrow? All right. Unbelievable!! Chandler Bing : Thanks. Joanna : No, no, that was my boss. I have to go. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joanna : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : I'm getting dressed. Joanna : Why?", "summary": "Chandler and Joanna are breaking up, but it doesn't feel like it to Chandler. Joanna is sad and asks if they can wait until tomorrow to break up, but Chandler agrees. Joanna's boss calls and she has to go, and then Chandler starts getting dressed."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : When I walk outside naked people throw garbage at me. Joanna : Wait. I wanna show you something. Chandler Bing : What is it? Joanna : Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. Put your hands together. Chandler Bing : Ah-ha, you're not the boss of me. Yeah, you are! Ooh, saucy. Joanna : I'll be back in ten minutes. Chandler Bing : You are, you're gonna leave me like this? Joanna : Knowing you're here, waiting for me I think it's kinda exciting. Chandler Bing : Okay. But if you don't come back soon, there's pretty much nothing I can do about it! Joanna : Oh.", "summary": "Chandler is bothered by people throwing garbage at him when he walks outside naked. Joanna shows him a gag gift and Chandler reacts with surprise and humor. Joanna leaves for ten minutes, and Chandler expresses anxiety about being left alone. When Joanna returns, Chandler is relieved but teases her about leaving him waiting."}
-{"dialogues": "Sophie : Hi! I brought you back a macaroon! Joanna : Oh great! I'll keep it in my butt with your nose. Rachel Green : That's weird, she locked the door. Sophie : Y'know why? She's got the Christmas bonus list in there. I saw her working on it this morning. Rachel Green : Okay, swear you won't tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joanna's office. Do you wanna see the list? Sophie : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Hi! How are you? Chandler Bing : Hello, Joanna......'s office. Joanna : I'm really sorry but I may be a little while longer. Chandler Bing : How little?!", "summary": "Sophie brings back a macaroon for Joanna, who responds by making a strange comment about keeping it in her \"butt with your nose.\" Rachel reveals that Joanna has a Christmas bonus list in her office, which she asks Sophie not to tell anyone about. Chandler enters the conversation and asks how Joanna is doing, but she apologizes for being busy and may be some time longer."}
-{"dialogues": "Joanna : A couple of hours, I feel awful. Chandler Bing : Look, this isn't funny! You get back here right now! Joanna : I can't!! Chandler Bing : Why not?! Joanna : I'm in my boss's car! Chandler Bing : What?! Joanna : Uh-oh, tunnel. Rachel Green : What?! Chandler Bing : Rachel, could I see you for a moment? Chandler Bing : Okay, here's the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.", "summary": "Joanna is in a car with her boss when she suddenly feels ill and needs to get out. Chandler Bing tries to help her but she refuses, saying she's in her boss's car. Chandler becomes frustrated and demands to know why she can't just come back with him. Meanwhile, Rachel Green enters the scene and joins in on the conversation, offering to help Chandler by retrieving a set of keys from the back of the door."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You promised you would break up with her! Chandler Bing : I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well! Rachel Green : And the fact that you were jeopardising my career never entered your mind?! Chandler Bing : It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out. Rachel Green : Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I can't get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and I'm cold, and Rachel Green : Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! You never see Joanna again! Chandler Bing : Never! Rachel Green : You never come into this office again! Chandler Bing : Fine!", "summary": "Chandler breaks up with Joanna, but she takes it well. Rachel is upset that Chandler jeopardized her career without considering her feelings. Chandler tries to explain himself, but Rachel is unmoved. In a fit of frustration, Chandler exclaims that he can't get out of his handcuffs and begs Rachel to unlock him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You give me back my Walkman! Chandler Bing : I-never borrowed your Walkman. Rachel Green : Well, then I lost it. You buy me one! Chandler Bing : You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! Ahhh! Rachel Green : Does it hurt? Chandler Bing : No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. Hello sweet pants! Rachel Green : Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna? Chandler Bing : About what? Rachel Green : When she sees that you're gone, she's gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and I'm gonna get fired! Chandler Bing : I'll make something up! I'm good at lying, I actually did borrow your Walkman!", "summary": "Rachel accidentally loses her Walkman and asks Chandler to buy her a new one. Chandler agrees but then pretends he never borrowed it in order to avoid getting in trouble with Joanna."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, there's nothing to make up, she's gonna know that I have a key to her office, I've got to get you locked up back the way you were! Chandler Bing : Oh-ho-ho, I don't think so! Chandler Bing : Well, this is much better. The Salesman : So, here's somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh? Joey Tribbiani : He cut off his ear. The Salesman : And? Joey Tribbiani : I'm out. The Salesman : He painted that. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! That's pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear 'cause he sucked. What else you got in there? The Salesman : Let's see, ahhh... Where does the Pope live?", "summary": "Rachel tries to get Chandler locked up after discovering a key to her office. Chandler resistst, Joey discusses Van Gogh and his famous ear cutting, and The Salesman asks Joey about the Pope's residence."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : In the woods. No wait-wait, that's the joke answer. The Salesman : Actually its, Vatican City. Now ahh, what do you know about vulcanised rubber? Joey Tribbiani : Spock's birth control. The Salesman : You need these books. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : This used to be your room? Wow! You must've been in really good shape as a kid. Monica Geller : Ohh, I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I actually thought she could change. Phoebe Buffay : Well, who cares what your Mom thinks? So you pulled a Monica. Monica Geller : Oh good, I'm glad that's catching on.", "summary": "The conversation takes place in a wooded area and involves a salesman and Joey Tribbiani discussing vulcanized rubber. Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller join the conversation and Phoebe makes a joke about Monica's weight. Monica admits she was once overweight as a child and Phoebe teases her about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and we'll call that pulling a Monica. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight A's, his parents would say, \"Yeah, he pulled a Monica.\" Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, \"Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica.\" Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, \"Yeah, that one's outta here.\" Though some things don't change. Monica Geller : All right, I'll go down there. But, I'm not gonna serve the lasagna. I'm gonna serve something I make. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! My breasts are really strong. Rachel Green : Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, she's very private about her office. Now I know why. Chandler Bing : Hey, look, you're in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, she's gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go. Rachel Green : What if I clean your bathroom for a month? Chandler Bing : It still wouldn't be clean. All I want is my freedom. Rachel Green : Foot rubs for a month!", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica have a conversation about the phrase \"pulling a Monica,\" which means doing something impressive or heroic. Phoebe suggests that if someone does something great, their parents might say \"Yeah, he pulled a Monica.\" Monica agrees to go do something impressive to prove her mother wrong, but only if she doesn't have to serve lasagna. Rachel and Chandler are in the background discussing Phoebe's privacy and Chandler's desire for freedom."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Freedom! Rachel Green : I'll take all of your photos and put them into photo albums! Chandler Bing : Freedom! I want my freedom! Why won't you here me?! Sophie, help me! Help me!! Rachel Green : Sophie sit!! Rachel Green : No! God, would you just calm down! Chandler Bing : I'm gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just... Joey Tribbiani : Wow! There's a lot I didn't know about vomit. In a minute. The Salesman : So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book! Joey Tribbiani : Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? I'm home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess there's a few things you don't get from book learnin'. The Salesman : Well ah, what can you swing?", "summary": "Chandler wants freedom from Rachel, who is taking his photos and making photo albums without his consent. Sophie tries to help Chandler, but Rachel insists that Sophie sit and calm down. The group discusses Joey's knowledge of vomit, and a salesman offers Joey an encyclopedia set for $1200, which he cannot afford."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time? The Salesman : You don't have, anything? Joey Tribbiani : You wanna see what I got? Okay? I've got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey! The Salesman : Okay, I-I get the picture. Uh, thanks, for your time. Joey Tribbiani : And a 50. Huh, these must be Chandler's pants. The Salesman : For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I-I think I'm gonna stick with the V, I wanna see how this bad boy turns out. Rachel Green : I ah, will buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts. Chandler Bing : No! Rachel Green : I ah... Oh! I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey tries to sell a collection of odd items, including a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. The salesman is unimpressed and offers to sell Joey a book for $50. Rachel buys all of Joey's Christmas gifts and Chandler tries to stop her, but she insists on squeezing him fresh orange juice every morning instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : With extra pulp? Rachel Green : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : No! Rachel Green : D'oh!! I've got it! Chandler Bing : You don't have it. Rachel Green : I have so got it. There's gonna be rumours about this, there's no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know. Chandler Bing : How do Monica and Phoebe know? Rachel Green : Oh, I called them. And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous or very stingy. Chandler Bing : Go on. Rachel Green : I can make you a legend. I can make you this generation's Milton Berle.", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler argue about extra pulp in coffee. Rachel accidentally reveals that there will be rumors about their argument, which Monica and Phoebe know about. Rachel offers to make Chandler a legend or a \"this generation's Milton Berle.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And Milton Berle has a... Rachel Green : Ohh, not compared to you. Monica Geller : Well? Phoebe Buffay : They're not even touching the lasagna! Monica Geller : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, they love your casserole. Monica Geller : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : It's hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients. Judy Geller : Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish. Monica Geller : And you?", "summary": "Monica makes a delicious casserole and invites friends over for dinner. They all rave about it and Phoebe compares it to Milton Berle's cooking, which isn't as good."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : I thought it was... quite tasty. Monica Geller : So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you... Judy Geller : A bitch? Monica Geller : Well, I was going for wrong, but we can use your word. Judy Geller : Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today. Monica Geller : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. She doesn't know we switched it. Judy Geller : And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. Monica Geller : That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, don't bite your nails. Chandler Bing : Hello.", "summary": "Judy and Monica have a conversation about food, with Judy mistakenly believing that they are discussing a dish she catered for her. Monica reveals that they switched it with ice, impressing Judy who threatens to never cater for her again. Phoebe makes a comment about the situation, and Chandler enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hello, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I love you. Joey Tribbiani : Wh-what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : No he doesn't! Chandler Bing : Two hours, that lasted! Rachel Green : So did you break up with Joanna? Chandler Bing : I think so. Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.", "summary": "Chandler tells Monica and Rachel he loves her, but Joey and Phoebe think something else is going on. Chandler reveals he broke up with his girlfriend Joanna before she could blow up like Vesuvius."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : The volcano? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation. Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, lava spewing, hot ash, of course some are dormant. Monica Geller : Why are you talking about volcanoes all of the sudden? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The Vasdeferens? The Vietnam War? Monica Geller : Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? #ALL# : Oh, yeah. Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, Korea is such a beautiful country. Ross Geller : With such a sad history.", "summary": "The group discusses volcanoes and their violent igneous rock formations, including lava spewing and hot ash. They then shift to other topics, such as vivisection, the Vas de Ferens, and the Vietnam War. Monica brings up a documentary on the Korean War, and Phoebe expresses her admiration for Korea's beauty despite its sad history."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Could there be more Kims? Joanna : Who's out there? Rachel Green : It's me! Good morning! Joanna : Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure. Umm, they didn't have poppy seed bagels, so I... Oh my word! Joanna : I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah! Yeah! Joanna : You tell your friend Chandler that we're definately broken up this time. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! New wallet, huh?", "summary": "Joanna has an office mishap and needs Rachel to get a key off the back of a door. Chandler wonders if there could be more Kims and Rachel comes in after not finding poppy seed bagels. Joanna tells Rachel that they are definitely broken up this time, and Phoebe enters with a new wallet."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesn't say 'cool' anymore. Monica Geller : Rachel! Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : You just put an empty carton back in the fridge! Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I know, but the garbage was full. Monica Geller : Have you ever taken out the trash? Rachel Green : Well, I thought you liked doing it. Monica Geller : Third door on the left. Rachel Green : Right! Rachel Green : Oh! Hey, Mr. Treeger.", "summary": "Rachel accidentally puts an empty condom box back in the fridge, leading to a conversation about taking out the trash with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : Hey. Mr. Treeger : What are you doing? Rachel Green : Ummm. Oh! I'm sorry. It's a little old but... Mr. Treeger : No! You're clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I didn't-I don't come in here a lot. Mr. Treeger : Oh yeah, of course you don't! Rachel Green : No. Mr. Treeger : 'Cause you're a little princess! \"Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing Happy Birthday to me...\" Rachel Green : I didn't... I never said that. Mr. Treeger : You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why don't think of someone else for a change?", "summary": "Rachel Green enters Mr. Treeger's office and makes a mess, which he must clean up. Mr. Treeger is frustrated with Rachel's carelessness and tells her she is like a \"little princess\" who expects someone else to clean up after her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : God! If you're gonna cry about it! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, Treeger made you cry? Rachel Green : Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson. Monica Geller : Joey, please don't do that. I think it's best that we just forget about it. Rachel Green : That's easy for you to say, you weren't almost just killed. Joey Tribbiani : All right that's it, school is in session! Monica Geller : My God! Is this a gym card? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last 1200 times.", "summary": "Rachel gets upset after a conversation with Treeger and Joey wants to teach him a lesson, Monica tries to calm them down and Chandler makes a joke about his gym membership."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So why don't you quit? Chandler Bing : You don't think I've tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria. Ross Geller : Who is Maria? Chandler Bing : Oh Maria. You can't say no to her, she's like this lycra spandex covered gym...treat. Ross Geller : You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand? Chandler Bing : No! Ross Geller : So you're strong enough to face her on your own? Chandler Bing : Oh no, you'll have to come. Mr. Treeger : Tribbiani! Hold on, I'll get the plunger. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, you're gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.", "summary": "Chandler is resistant to going to his friend Maria's apartment for a \"gym thing,\" but he eventually relents with Ross's help."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : And tell him what? Joey Tribbiani : Have you heard about a little something called, Not Making Girls Cry. Mr. Treeger : Yeah. Well maybe you have heard about the Rent Stabilization Act of 1968! Joey Tribbiani : I have actually not heard of that. Mr. Treeger : Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. I've been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I don't need this grief. I'm gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmother's apartment. Your friends are outta here pal. Joey Tribbiani : Why don't you tell me something I don't know! Phoebe Buffay : Oh please, somebody tell me I don't have to go to work today! Monica Geller : What's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that I'm not allowed to charge for. Monica Geller : So do them for free.", "summary": "Mr. Treeger threatens to call the landlord on Monica and Rachel for illegally subletting their grandmother's apartment. Joey tries to deflect the conversation by asking Mr. Treeger to tell him something he doesn't know. Phoebe complains about having to go to work, while Monica suggests doing something inappropriate for free."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And it's against my oath as a masseuse. Ross Geller : They make you take an oath? Phoebe Buffay : No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that one's actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense. Chandler Bing : Why don't you just give him to somebody else? Phoebe Buffay : No, I can handle it. No, I'm a professional. Rachel Green : Oh Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet? Monica Geller : Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up. Chandler Bing : Because that's the only part of you he can see when he's on the table! Monica Geller : You're gonna do some feet flirtin'! Phoebe Buffay : I don't what your talking about.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe, a masseuse, is forbidden from fooling around with clients by her oath and Mrs. Potter, but she insists on handling it professionally despite Chandler's suggestion to give the client to someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Then how do you explain the toe ring?! Phoebe Buffay : Because it's Arabian princess day at work! Okay?! Leave me alone! Rachel Green : Oh! My hero! What happened? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that he'd better come up here and apologize. I'll see you later. Monica Geller : What a minute, what did he say? Joey Tribbiani : He said that he wasn't gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what he's gonna do is have you evicted-I'll see you later. Rachel Green : What?! You got us evicted!! Monica Geller : I told you not to go down there! Joey Tribbiani : Well he made Rachel cry! Monica Geller : Rachel always cries!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe are at work, where Phoebe is dressed as an Arabian princess. Ross asks her about the toe ring, and she explains that it's part of her costume. Rachel enters and overhears their conversation, and Joey also joins in. Joey tells Rachel that he went to confront the man who was rude to them, but instead of apologizing, he threatened to have them evicted. Monica tries to calm everyone down and suggests that they should not have been living illegally in the apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : That's not true! Monica Geller : Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like you've never sucked before! Joey Tribbiani : All right! I'll try! But if I can't, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled. Rachel Green : Go!! Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right, all right. I mean I'll have to check with him first, but I'll think he'll be cool with it. Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey! Now remember what we talked about, you gotta be strong. Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes! Ross Geller : One more time, \"Hey, don't you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?\" Chandler Bing : No! I want a flabby gut and saggy man breasts! Ross Geller : Good! That's good!", "summary": "Rachel tries to defend herself against Monica's insults, but Joey intervenes and offers to help. Rachel agrees and Joey goes to talk to Ross, who is resistant at first but eventually agrees. Meanwhile, Chandler makes fun of Joey's suggestion that he wants a flabby gut and saggy man breasts."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. I wanna quit the gym. Gym Employee : You wanna quit? Chandler Bing : I wanna quit the gym. Gym Employee : You do realize that you won't have access to our new full service Swedish spa. Chandler Bing : I wanna quit the gym. Gym Employee : Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. Uh, excuse me, are you a member? Ross Geller : Me? No. Gym Employee : Sorry, members only. Chandler Bing : I wanna quit the gym. Ross Geller : It's okay man, be strong.", "summary": "Chandler wants to quit the gym, but the employee informs him that he won't have access to the new full service Swedish spa if he does. Chandler insists on quitting, and the employee directs him to Dave in the membership office. Meanwhile, Ross tries to motivate Chandler by telling him to be strong."}
-{"dialogues": "Gym Employee : So, are you a member of any gym. Ross Geller : No! And I'm not gonna be, so you can save you little speech. Gym Employee : Okay, no problem. Could you come here for a second? Woman : Hi, I'm Maria. Rick Sanoven : Wow, you have really pretty feet. Phoebe Buffay : These old things. Rick Sanoven : Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, it's been killing me today. Phoebe Buffay : You mean the-Okay by siadic, you mean the towel covered portion. Rick Sanoven : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get y'know, real nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.", "summary": "Ross Geller visits a gym but declines membership, while Phoebe Buffay offers to massage Rick Sanoven's \"siadic\" area (a made-up word)."}
-{"dialogues": "Rick Sanoven : Oh, a 16-hour sit-in for Greenpeace. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Rick Sanoven : Ow! Did you just bite me? Phoebe Buffay : No! Mr. Treeger : What? Joey Tribbiani : Please don't kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasn't there fault, it was mine. Mr. Treeger : You want me to kick you guys out instead? Joey Tribbiani : No you can't do that, where would the chick and the duck live? Mr. Treeger : You have pets! Joey Tribbiani : Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. I'm the chick and Chandler is the duck.", "summary": "Rick and Phoebe participate in a 16-hour sit-in for Greenpeace, but things get awkward when Rick gets bitten and accuses Phoebe of doing it. Meanwhile, Joey tries to defend Monica and Rachel from getting kicked out of their apartment, but Mr. Treeger suggests kicking him and Chandler (who are nicknamed \"the chick\" and \"the duck\") instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : Huh, I would've thought it was the other way around. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, just-just let the girls stay, I'll do whatever you want. Mr. Treeger : Really? You'll do anything? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, absolutely. Mr. Treeger : Yeah, I've got something you can do. Joey Tribbiani : What, what is it? Mr. Treeger : Can you be my dancing partner? Joey Tribbiani : That's not, prison lingo, is it? Monica Geller : His dancing partner?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, there's this superintendent's dance, the Super Ball. I don't know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that he's a crush on.", "summary": "Mr. Treeger asks Joey Tribbiani to be his dancing partner for an upcoming event, the Super Ball, in order to impress a lady super he has a crush on. Joey agrees, despite being unsure of what \"prison lingo\" means in this context."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, why doesn't he practice with a girl? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he's too shy, he doesn't thing he's good enough to dance with girls yet. Rachel Green : Yeah, right, he almost danced me right down that...garbage chute. Monica Geller : Oh, would you let it go already?! You're fine! Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey! So, did you quit? Chandler Bing : No, I almost did, couldn't leave Ross there without a spotter! Monica Geller : Wait, now so you joined the gym? Ross Geller : And that's funny, why? Rachel Green : Oh, umm, I was just y'know working out and umm... Oh, that's it.", "summary": "Ross is unable to practice dancing with girls due to shyness, leading to a comedic moment where he almost dances Rachel into a garbage chute. Monica and Chandler argue over his decision to join a gym, while Rachel tries to move on from the incident."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : We're doomed. Okay, they're gonna take 50 bucks out of our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do? Monica Geller : Well, you could actually go to the gym. Ross Geller : Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source. Chandler Bing : You're a genius! Joey Tribbiani : Aww, man, now we won't be bank buddies! Chandler Bing : Now, there's two reasons. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, you guys, remember that cute client I told you about? I bit him. Rachel Green : Where?!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are facing financial difficulties as their bank will be taking $50 from their accounts each month for the rest of their lives. They come up with two solutions: going to the gym or closing their bank accounts and cutting off the source. Joey opposes the idea of not being \"bank buddies,\" while Phoebe shares an interesting story about biting a cute client."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : On the touchy. Ross Geller : And that's not against your oath?! Phoebe Buffay : No, I know! I-I'm sorry, but the moment I touch him, I just wanna throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one. Monica Geller : Well, next time your massaging him, you should try and distract yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Like-like when I'm doing something exciting and I don't wanna get too excited, I just ahh, y'know try to thing of other things like ah sandwiches, and ah baseball, and ah Chandler! Chandler Bing : Thank you, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, thank you. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm here, let's ahh, get this over with. Mr. Treeger : Okay ahh, well, just ahh, follow my lead. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, don't we need to do some kinda preparation first? Like ahh, get really drunk?", "summary": "Phoebe and Ross discuss her touching him without permission, leading Phoebe to question her oath as a massage therapist. Monica suggests distracting herself during future massages, while Joey offers unconventional methods of avoiding arousal (such as thinking of sandwiches or baseball). Chandler thanks Joey for his input, and Mr. Treeger initiates the massage session despite their lack of preparation."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : Look come on, eh, just ah, just ah, put your arms around me, eh. Mr. Treeger : Ahhhh! I'm sorry! Joey Tribbiani : No, it's okay, but if I'm Marge, my breasts are coming out my back. Mr. Treeger : Ahh, forget it! I'll never be any good at this, my mom was right, I'm just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, you're not a potato. Mr. Treeger : I'm sure as hell a dancer, it's no use Marge will never go for me. Joey Tribbiani : Come on Treeger, don't say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, let's ahh, let's try it again. Come on. Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, y'know, I'm not really that comfortable dancing with a- We-he!! Hey! Mr. Treeger : Yeah! Monica Geller : Hey-hey, how goes the dancing? Gay yet? Joey Tribbiani : Ah-ha-ha, you guys owe me big time.", "summary": "Mr. Treeger and Joey try to dance together, but Mr. Treeger is not comfortable and blames himself for any awkwardness. Joey tries to encourage him, but they end up failing again. Monica enters the scene and asks about their dancing progress, leading to a humorous exchange between the three characters."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What was that? Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : You just did a little dancy thing. Joey Tribbiani : No I didn't. Monica Geller : Yes you did! You did like a little hop. Rachel Green : You are soo enjoying this. Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm not! And it wasn't a hop it was a pademarie. Monica Geller : You know the words! You are so into this! Joey Tribbiani : All right, well maybe I'm enjoying it a little bit. I mean I'm getting pretty good at it. Rachel Green : Ooh, this is soo sweet, Joey our little twinkle-toes.", "summary": "Joey does a little dance and denies it, Monica agrees with Rachel that he's enjoying himself, Joey claims he's not but admits he's getting good at it, and Rachel teases him about being \"twinkle-toes.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, hold on, this isn't some kind of like girly dance. All right, it's like a sport, it's manly! Monica Geller : All right, then show me some manly moves. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know how to lead. Ross Geller : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hi. Ross Geller : We'd like to close our accounts. Bank Officer : Close your accounts? Is there some kind of problem? Ross Geller : No-no. Chandler Bing : No, we'd just like to close them.", "summary": "Joey and Monica engage in a dance competition, with Joey insisting it's a sport for men. Monica challenges him to show some \"manly moves.\" Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler visit a bank to close their accounts."}
-{"dialogues": "Bank Officer : Okay, Ms. Lambert handles all our closures. Would you come over here please? Ms. Lambert : Hi, I'm Karen. Chandler Bing : I wanna quit the bank! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay, slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little... Oh no-wait no, no! No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Rick's pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, that's working. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler's knees. Chandler's... ankles. Chandler's ankle hair. Oh no. Okay, you're all set. Rick Sanoven : Oh wow! That was amazing, was that really just an hour?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! In... really long hour world. Rick Sanoven : What? Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because you're a client, I can't ask you out, even though you give me y'know, the feeling. Rick Sanoven : Wow! I had no idea! But you know, I could always find another masseuse.", "summary": "Chandler wants to quit the bank and Ms. Lambert handles closures. Phoebe tries to distract Chandler with sandwiches and Rick plays baseball. Rick is amazed that an hour has passed and Phoebe reveals her crush on him, but can't ask him out due to being a client."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Rick Sanoven : Yeah, really. Phoebe Buffay : What? Rick Sanoven : Suddenly, I very aware that I'm naked. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, quit down. Mrs. Potter : Mr. Simon's been waiting for- Oh my God! Mr. Simon : Why wasn't I offered that? I'd definitely pay more for that. Mrs. Potter : Phoebe, we have rules here, this isn't that kind of place. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isn't what it looks like, 'cause Rick is my ahh, husband. Mrs. Potter : Oh really? Well, then you'd better tell his other wife, 'cause she called three times asking where he is.", "summary": "Rick Sanoven and Phoebe Buffay are having a conversation when Rick suddenly realizes he is naked. Phoebe tries to calm him down, but Mrs. Potter interrupts and mistakes their conversation for something inappropriate. Mrs. Potter informs Rick that his other wife called looking for him, causing confusion and hilarity."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I will tell her. Monica Geller : So you didn't leave the bank? Ross Geller : No! And somehow, we ended up with a joint checking account. Rachel Green : What are you ever gonna use that for?! Chandler Bing : To pay for the gym. Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : You got fired?! Monica Geller : Oh my Gosh!", "summary": "Rick and Phoebe had a great day and started making out, but Phoebe got fired for being a whore after her boss walked in."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It's so weird, I have never been fired from anything before! Rachel Green : Sweety... Phoebe Buffay : I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, y'know? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. It's been a really bad day, whore wise. Mr. Treeger : Hey Duck, is Chick here? Chandler Bing : Yeah... Bunny-rabbit. Joey Tribbiani : So you ah, ready for our last practice? Mr. Treeger : Yeah, but y'know, I think the reason we're not getting that spin right is because my apartment's too small. Joey Tribbiani : Look, you wanna use our place? Mr. Treeger : No, I ahh, had another idea. Joey Tribbiani : We did it!!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay has never been fired before, but today she started walking around without a purpose and was mistaken for a prostitute by police. Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani are preparing for their last practice, but Mr. Treeger thinks his small apartment is the reason they can't get the spin right."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : I know, we did it!! Hey, that was incredible, huh?! Joey Tribbiani : I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful. Mr. Treeger : Thank you, listen, thanks a lot Tribbiani, . Oh my God, look at the time, I gotta catch the bus to the ball. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, okay, good luck. Mr. Treeger : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Unless you wanna practice the Foxtrot again? Or-or the Tango? Mr. Treeger : Ahh, thanks but no. You see I-I think I'm ready to dance with girls. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Mr. Treeger : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Go get 'em Treeger.", "summary": "Mr. Treeger and Joey Tribbiani discuss their success in dancing, with Mr. Treeger expressing gratitude and preparing to leave for a ball while Joey offers to practice the Foxtrot or Tango again."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : Right. Hey, ahh, you wanna come? Marge has a girlfriend. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Mr. Treeger : Yeah, you could dance real good with her, she's the same size as me. Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm good. Interviewer : So it looks like you've got some great experience here. Let's see ahh, reason for leaving last job? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, they thought I was a whore. Interviewer : Okay, we'll give a call if anything comes up. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Thank you very much. Ross Geller : Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but... Whoa! Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you.", "summary": "Mr. Treeger invites Joey to a dance with Marge, who is his girlfriend. Joey declines. Phoebe is asked about her reason for leaving her last job and reveals that she was mistakenly thought to be a whore. The interviewer thanks her and offers to call if anything comes up. Ross finds a phone number written on a piece of paper and excitedly reveals that it belongs to a beautiful woman named Amanda. However, he almost loses the number due to his carelessness."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Gunther : When's your birthday? Rachel Green : May fifth, why? Gunther : Oh, I-I'm just making a list of people's birthdays. Ross Geller : Oh, mine's December... Gunther : Yeah, whatever. Chandler Bing : Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty. Monica Geller : Just go up to her and ask her out. Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen? Chandler Bing : I could die.", "summary": "Rachel's birthday is May 5th. Gunther is making a list of everyone's birthdays, and Ross reveals his is December. Chandler admires Rachel's appearance and Monica suggests he should ask her out, but Chandler is hesitant due to fear of rejection or worse consequences."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, it's-it's tough being single. That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda. Rachel Green : Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her. Chandler Bing : I tell people secrets. It makes them like me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there. Phoebe Buffay : But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. Pretty, huh? Chandler Bing : All right, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna get shot down. Any advice? Monica Geller : Just be yourself. But, not too much. Chandler Bing : Wish me luck.", "summary": "Ross is single and happy to have found Amanda, but he only went on one date with her. Rachel questions Ross's relationship, while Chandler tries to impress Monica by sharing secrets. Phoebe is unemployed and relies on her music and shoe-making for comfort, and Monica advises Chandler to be himself but not too much before he goes on a date with someone."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Good luck! Chandler Bing : Wish it! Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that? Kathy : No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Kathy. Chandler Bing : Uh Kathy, with K or a C? Kathy : With a K. Chandler Bing : Oh-oh-hey! Kathy : Wow! You are really good at this. Chandler Bing : Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here. Kathy : I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. Oh, and there he is now. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Chandler Bing meets Kathy and mistakenly assumes her name is spelled with a \"K\" instead of a \"C.\" They have a brief conversation before Kathy reveals she is waiting for a date and Joey enters the scene."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I see you guys already met, huh? Chandler Bing : Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth. Joey Tribbiani : Didn't I tell ya? Always showin' off. Phoebe Buffay : Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? This chick sounds good. Smelly cat, smelly-- Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey. Chandler Bing : Hi! Kathy : Hi. Chandler Bing : Jeez, at 2:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to have to fight over the remote. Kathy : I'm sorry, it's just this Ernie Cofax thing on in a few minutes I wanted to watch. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! That's why I got up too!", "summary": "Chandler Bing attempts to demonstrate his large feet in his mouth, Joey Tribbiani joins in and Phoebe Buffay sings about Smelly Cat. Gunther brings Kathy a whiskey, and Chandler and Kathy argue over the remote at 2:30am."}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy : You're kidding! Oh, I love him. Chandler Bing : Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were... I never would've... Kathy : Oh please! Chandler Bing : So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class. Kathy : Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do; all of them had us making out. Chandler Bing : That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him. Kathy : Oh-oh-oh-oh! Chandler Bing : Is it on? Kathy : No, but this wonder broom is amazing! Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Kathy and Chandler Bing discuss their acting class experience, including a scene where they had to make out. Joey assigned them as partners and Chandler reveals he used to rehearse with Joey. Kathy finds it amusing, but Chandler is impressed by a \"wonder broom.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Oh! It's on! It's on! Chandler Bing : There we go little fella. Kathy : What about the duck? Chandler Bing : Well the duck can swim. Kathy : Oh, jeez. Phoebe Buffay : My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey. #ALL# : Way to go, Phoebe! Monica Geller : That cold makes you sound so great. Phoebe Buffay : It's fun, God I love how sexy I am.", "summary": "The group is discussing a duck and Phoebe mentions her sticky shoes."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Kath, we should get going. We're going to by hamsters. #ALL# : Ooh, that's great, I love those little guys. Kathy : No, no, it's not like that. I, I work for a medical researcher. Rachel Green : Well, have fun! Kathy : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters. Monica Geller : Y'know what, I like Kathy. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty. Rachel Green : Yeah, she's... Chandler Bing : She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?", "summary": "The group discusses buying hamsters for a medical researcher, with Kathy clarifying that it's not just a fun activity."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You love her. Chandler Bing : No, I don't. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy. Ross Geller : Come on, Pheebs lay off him. Chandler Bing : Thank you, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love. Chandler Bing : All right. #ALL# : Ohh! Chandler Bing : All right. Monica Geller : Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh!", "summary": "Chandler loves Kathy."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me. Monica Geller : Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I could write about the time my hair did that \"Woo-hoo\" thing. Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ross Geller : So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight! Monica Geller : Rachel's not here. Ross Geller : Oh. Monica Geller : How's it going with her?", "summary": "Monica suggests writing about Phoebe's difficult experiences, but Phoebe instead chooses to focus on a time when her hair did an unusual thing. Meanwhile, Ross plans to visit Amanda and Monica mentions Rachel's absence."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little \"playing\" ourselves. Rachel Green : Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross. Monica Geller : Hi, Josh. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Joshua Burgin : Dudes. Monica Geller : So, did you play in college? sweatshirt he's wearing.) Joshua Burgin : Oh, I still do. Next year, I hope to make varsity though. Rachel Green : Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64. Joshua Burgin : Well, it's getting late, I've got to get to the game, so I'm gonna... head. Rachel Green : Okay. I'll miss you.", "summary": "Ross plans to watch a soccer game with Amanda and drink wine while the kids are asleep. Josh joins the group and reveals he still plays soccer in college. Ross is revealed to have organized soccer games on his Commodore 64 in high school instead of playing himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Dope! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, cute one! Monica Geller : Very! Rachel Green : I know, isn't he great? It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, y'know? There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot in a museum. Ross Geller : Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something. Rachel Green : Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom? Ross Geller : Oh! Rachel Green : What was that? Ross Geller : Monica knows. Monica Geller : It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their new boyfriends, with Ross expressing skepticism about one of their partners never having been to a museum. Monica reveals that she has a term for an \"adult who doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom,\" which Ross made up as a way to fool their parents. The conversation highlights the characters' personalities and dynamics, including their teasing and playful banter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna go get ready, for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I should go to, `cause I'm playing in one hour. Hey, you guys should come hear me, ooh hear me. Ooh, My sticky shoes--eww! Eww! I lost my sexy phlegm! Amanda (Ross' date) : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Amanda (Ross' date) : Hi Ben! Ross Geller : Wow! You-you look great! Amanda (Ross' date) : Thanks! Ross Geller : Okay! Hey Tommy. Amanda (Ross' date) : I am so glad that you could come over tonight. Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no, it's my pleasure.", "summary": "Ross goes on a date with Amanda, but gets distracted by Phoebe's performance and loses his \"sexy phlegm.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Amanda (Ross' date) : Okay, well, my cell phone number is right here on the counter, please help yourself to anything in the fridge. Ross Geller : What? Amanda (Ross' date) : I appreciate this soo much, I've been trying to go out with this guy for like a month. Ross Geller : I-I-I... Amanda (Ross' date) : Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. Ross Geller : Who wants to make some long distance calls? Chandler Bing : Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! Fetch! Fetch it! Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! Kathy. Kathy : Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here? Chandler Bing : Oh, I just wanted to say, \"Hey!\" Kathy : Hey!", "summary": "Ross tries to ask Amanda out, but she gives him her cell phone number instead. Amanda has been trying to go out with Ross for a month, and he is hesitant to drink wine until the kids are asleep. Chandler interrupts their conversation and says \"Hey\" multiple times before Kathy arrives."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was. Ross Geller : Her date tipped me ten dollars. Ross Geller : Pheebs, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia. Chandler Bing : Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Well, how-how-how is that possible? You barely know her!", "summary": "Chandler admits he has feelings for Joey's girlfriend, Monica and Phoebe argue over Phoebe's attempt to catch a cold, and Ross receives $10 from his date."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler! Monica Geller : Oh gosh, Phoebe, I think I caught your cold. Phoebe Buffay : You mean you stole it! Don't cover your mouth when you do that! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Kathy : We were just talking about you. Chandler Bing : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet. Chandler Bing : Right in there! Chandler Bing : 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! All right, let's go over the concept one more time. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Chandler can't stop thinking about a girl he likes despite considering himself a bad person. Monica and Phoebe discuss Chandler's feelings while Joey tells Kathy a funny story about Chandler getting drunk and falling asleep in a toilet."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys. Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight? Chandler Bing : Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate. Joey Tribbiani : It's 4:30. Chandler Bing : Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I see what's going on here. Chandler Bing : You-you do? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You don't like Kathy. Chandler Bing : You got me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Joey are invited to dinner with Kathy, but Chandler declines as he already ate earlier in the week. Joey senses that Chandler doesn't like Kathy and encourages him to make an effort to get to know her better by going out to dinner together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. Right. Joey Tribbiani : Good, and hey! My treat. But that's only because you're not eating anything, right? Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Ross isn't here. Rachel Green : Oh. Stop it! Joshua Burgin : So I'll see you at the party? Beer's beer man, 24, 7!! Rachel Green : Yeah! I am soo gonna marry that guy. Ohhh! Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : I think he's stealing from me. Monica Geller : Why?", "summary": "Ross isn't present, and Chandler questions why Rachel believes Josh will marry her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Because he's stealing from me! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! It's me. And soup. Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket. Rachel Green : Ughh! Phoebe Buffay : Here, now I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup. And there's no chicken in the broth either, so it's really just... noodle water. Monica Geller : Thank you so much Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Monica Geller : What are you doing with those?! Phoebe Buffay : But, I need your germs! I want my cold back! I miss my sexy voice. Monica Geller : Sorry, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : It's okay. How's the soup?", "summary": "Rachel is upset because Josh is stealing from her. Phoebe brings soup but doesn't eat chicken because she doesn't eat meat. Monica thanks Phoebe for bringing soup and asks what she's doing with it. Phoebe wants to get a cold so she can have her sexy voice back."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Umm. Monica Geller : Ohhhh!! Gross!! Kathy : Ohh, God, guys, check it out, you can see that girl's underwear! Joey Tribbiani : Is she great or what? Kathy : So? Huh? What do you think? Chandler Bing : Ohh, she's-she's not really my type. Kathy : Not your type?! She's gorgeous! Chandler Bing : Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings. Kathy : Okay. Understanding a little more why you're single. Ohh! Y'know, I have a friend you would like, she's really pretty. And then we could double date! Chandler Bing : Uhh, no-no thanks.", "summary": "The group is at Central Perk when they notice a girl in a skirt that is too short, revealing her underwear. Joey finds her attractive, but Chandler is not interested due to his father's fishnet stockings. Kathy tries to set him up with a friend who she thinks he would like, but he declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy : Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too. Chandler Bing : Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. Joey Tribbiani : I'll be right back. What was that? Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal. Chandler Bing : Hey, look, what do you want from me? Joey Tribbiani : I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend. Chandler Bing : I am pretending. Joey Tribbiani : Well then, do it better! Chandler Bing : Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani are trying to convince Kathy to give them a chance, but Chandler walks away before he can make his move. Joey is frustrated with Chandler's lack of effort and demands that he pretend to be interested in Kathy. Chandler reluctantly agrees, but his attempts at flattery are awkward and unconvincing."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, that's pretty good. But you might wanna tone it down a little. Ross Geller : Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight? Monica Geller : No, sorry. Rachel Green : Well where's Amanda? Monica Geller : Hey Rach, could you get me some cough drops? Rachel Green : I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out. Monica Geller : Ross, cough drops, please? Ross Geller : At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies. Rachel Green : Why don't you just marry her? Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry I forgot, she's not a lesbian. Ross Geller : You see Amanda and I have a very special...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Monica's absence at their parents' house, with Ross mentioning that Amanda (Monica's date) is old enough to drive. Rachel suggests bringing Amanda along to their old room for a non-romantic night in. Meanwhile, Joey makes an appearance and jokes about Ross's relationship with Amanda."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You have nothing! You're not even going out! You're her baby sitter! You have a 12-year-old girl's job! Rachel Green : Ohh, that is soo sad. Monica Geller : And what are you laughing at, Miss `My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!' Rachel Green : Hey, so he stole a couple bucks from me! At least he bought me something with it! Monica Geller : That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops! Ross Geller : Fine. Rachel Green : Sorry. Ross Geller : Here. At least I made ten bucks in my relationship. Rachel Green : Y'know... Phoebe Buffay : Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street. Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats. Does it even work without my sexy voice?", "summary": "Monica Geller and Rachel Green have a conversation about their financial situations, with Monica expressing frustration that Ross has taken money from her without permission. Rachel jokes about the amount of money Ross made in his relationship, while Phoebe Buffay enters the conversation with a strange statement about goats."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : I like it. Phoebe Buffay : Gunther, kiss me. Gunther : What? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind? Chandler Bing : Can I sleep on your couch? Phoebe Buffay : And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies. Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Gunther : I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_ Rachel Green : No!", "summary": "Gunther likes Phoebe, but she asks him to kiss her. Joey and Chandler ask if they can use the couch, while Phoebe is still waiting for her paper mache man. Rachel reveals that she had not heard about Gunther and Phoebe's recent incident."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : Well, we kissed. I-I-I didn't initiate the kiss, but-but I also didn't stop it, and I've been feeling guilty. Rachel Green : Okay. Gunther : So umm, are we cool? Rachel Green : Okay. Gunther : I knew you'd understand. Cheryl : So, thank you for the delicious dinner. Ross Geller : You're welcome for a delicious dinner. Phoebe Buffay : Hey what are you guys looking at? Chandler Bing : Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, come to papa.", "summary": "Gunther kissed Rachel without her consent, feeling guilty about it. They have a conversation about it, and she agrees to be okay with it. Cheryl thanks Gunther for dinner, and Ross compliments Phoebe on her beauty."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I know! Monica Geller : Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her? Chandler Bing : Where did you, when did you, how did you... How did you get a girl like that? Rachel Green : Yeah, so what is she, like a... like a spokesmodel, or an aerobics instructor, what? Ross Geller : Actually she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the centazoic era. Chandler Bing : Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era. Ross Geller : I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow. Rachel Green : Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek. Ross Geller : Fine by me; hope she wins. Chandler Bing : Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?", "summary": "Ross meets a girl and invites her over for dinner, much to the surprise of his friends who think she might be a \"geek\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oo! Is it for my birthday present? Chandler Bing : Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet? Chandler Bing : Well, I have a call in about that. Phoebe Buffay : 'Kay. Chandler Bing : Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book. Rachel Green : Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real! Chandler Bing : Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils. Rachel Green : Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that? Chandler Bing : Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.", "summary": "The gang receives an early edition of Kathy's favorite book, \"The Velveteen Rabbit,\" on her birthday. Chandler reveals he obtained it by visiting several bookstores and talking to dealers, as well as calling the author's grandchildren."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, honey, that's so sweet. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and what a great way to say, \"I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!\" Chandler Bing : It doesn't say that. Does it? Ross Geller : How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange? Chandler Bing : Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great. Phoebe Buffay : It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow! Monica Geller : Yeah, once again, I am sorry. Thank you. Bye. I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for sixty people. Rachel Green : Oh my God! What happened? Monica Geller : Sixty guests. Ross Geller : So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler try to get Joey a good gift for Rachel's birthday, but Chandler inadvertently gives her an orange instead of something meaningful. Meanwhile, Monica turns down a job catering a funeral for sixty people."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not? Monica Geller : I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : There you go, that's the spirit! Okay! Now, if you need money, I will lend you money, but just get moving! Monica Geller : Really? Cause I'd need like $500 for all the food and the supplies and stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months. Monica Geller : Well, you're not working either. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, but I'm doing this. Monica Geller : Yeah, that'd be great! Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Monica wants to start a catering business but lacks the funds and resources to do so on short notice. Phoebe encourages Monica to take action and offers to lend her money, but Monica needs $500 for food and supplies. Joey enters the conversation and adds his support for Monica's new venture."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Hey. Kathy : Can I borrow the keys to your apartment? Joey Tribbiani : Why? Joey Tribbiani : You can pee here! Kathy : Ahahaha... haha.. yes I can, of course. Excuse me. Chandler Bing : It's okay, the duck's using our bathroom anyway. Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday? Joey Tribbiani : We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something? #ALL# : Yeah! Rachel Green : Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I know...", "summary": "Joey wants to borrow Kathy's keys, but she denies him. Chandler makes a joke about the duck using their bathroom. Joey plans to get Kathy a gift for her birthday, but he is unsure of what to get. Rachel suggests something nice and meaningful."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And not one of your coupons for an hour of \"Joey Love.\" Phoebe Buffay : Ooo, a crossword! Can I help? Rachel Green : No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language. Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, how'd it go? Monica Geller : Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrow-the dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident! Phoebe Buffay : Mon! I'm so happy for you! Monica Geller : Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order! Phoebe Buffay : I'll have one, please. Plus my money.", "summary": "Rachel wants to finish a crossword puzzle without any help, while Monica has a successful funeral catering business and Phoebe is helping her with her new universal language."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But look-I've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Okay. Oo, sorry I acted like a bank. Monica Geller : Okay. Ross Geller : Huh... Cheryl : Um, would you like to come in? Ross Geller : Did homo-erectus hunt with wooden tools? Cheryl : According to recent findings! Cheryl : Here Mitzi! Here Mitzi! Ross Geller : Mitzi is..... Cheryl : My hamster. I hope she's okay, I haven't seen her in a while. Have a seat.", "summary": "Monica borrowed money from Phoebe without realizing it was needed immediately. Monica worked as a caterer and earned enough to pay back the loan. Ross discussed his theory that Homo erectus hunted with wooden tools, and Cheryl mentioned her missing hamster Mitzi."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh... Oh hey, do you, uh ...do you have any, um, Cinnamon Fruit Toasties? Cheryl : What? Ross Geller : Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh... Cheryl : I'd rather not. Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, why not? Cheryl : Okay, um, don't take this the wrong way, but your place kinda has a weird smell. Monica Geller : Oh, is everything in the car? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Did you settle the bill? Monica Geller : No. I hate this part. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look what we almost left.", "summary": "Ross invites Cheryl to his place for Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, but she declines due to an unpleasant smell at Ross's residence."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, that's not mine. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, all right. Oh! Look what we almost took! Monica Geller : Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen. Mrs. Burkart : Oh, good. Thank you. Monica Geller : Um, and, well there's the.. the the small matter of... Mrs. Burkart : Dear? Monica Geller : Just the matter of ...payment? Mrs. Burkart : Jack used to handle the finances! Rachel Green : You know what we should all do? Go see a musical. Chandler Bing : Sure...", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe almost took something from Mrs. Burkart's house, then they cleaned up the kitchen. Mrs. Burkart thanked them, but there was a problem with payment because Jack used to handle the finances. The group decided to go see a musical together."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one? Chandler Bing : I don't know... um, Grease? Rachel Green : No.... Chandler Bing : Rent? Rachel Green : Yes! Rent! Chandler Bing : Okay, so when do you want to go? Rachel Green : What? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I'm busy. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls. Chandler Bing : Yes, it is, at Office Max. Rachel Green : What did you get her?", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler discuss a Broadway show they want to see, with Chandler suggesting \"Grease\" and \"Rent.\" Rachel agrees that \"Rent\" is the one they should see, but then cancels their plans at the last minute. Joey joins the conversation and shares his difficulty in shopping for women at Office Max."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : A pen. Joey Tribbiani : It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh? Chandler Bing : Huh-huh! You can't give her that. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah! Rachel Green : Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives? Joey Tribbiani : Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... \"Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!\" Chandler Bing : All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday? Joey Tribbiani : She didn't have a birthday while we were going out. Chandler Bing : For three years?", "summary": "A gift of a pen that doubles as a clock is given to a girlfriend, but Chandler and Joey think it's inappropriate due to her age and the fact that it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah. Rachel agrees and suggests alternative gifts. Later, Joey reveals he didn't get anything for his ex-girlfriend Angela on her birthday for three years."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I... Chandler Bing : All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay? Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card? Chandler Bing : Would you like me to write her a little poem as well? Joey Tribbiani : Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it. Phoebe Buffay : But Mon, you have to get our money! Monica Geller : Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant. Phoebe Buffay : I know, it's tough. You know what the first thing I did after my mother's funeral was? Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, \"that massage wasn't long enough, or, \"I don't recognize any of those songs,\" or, you know, \"these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!\"", "summary": "Joey has an audition and can't go shopping for Monica's birthday, so Chandler promises to find a gift and write a poem. Phoebe reveals that she paid the caterer after her mother's funeral, and the group discusses people trying to avoid paying for services."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. So what do you.... you think she's faking? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill. Monica Geller : Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me. Mrs. Burkart : You're a grand ol' flag, you're a high-flying flag, and forever in peace may you wave.... Phoebe Buffay : She seems fine now. Mrs. Burkart : ...emblem of the land I love. The home of.... Joey Tribbiani : So, you just left? Her place was really that bad? Ross Geller : You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! Here.", "summary": "Monica accuses Phoebe of faking her emotional response to Mrs. Burkart's funeral. Phoebe defends herself by saying that Mrs. Burkart seemed fine until Monica showed her the bill. Joey and Ross argue about their own messy living spaces, with Joey comparing his jacket on a chair to a pile of garbage, and Ross taking it to an extreme with his analogy of the end of time being filled only with garbage."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened? Ross Geller : What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there. Joey Tribbiani : All right, so... next time, you take her to your place. Ross Geller : No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell. Joey Tribbiani : What kind of smell? Ross Geller : I don't know. Soap? Joey Tribbiani : All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You wanna see her again, right? Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross tries to impress a girl by taking her to his place, but she rejects him due to an unpleasant smell. Joey encourages Ross to bring her to his place instead, but Ross declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So you're gonna have to do it in the mess! Ross Geller : Yeah, okay you're right. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : I mean, uh, who... who cares about a little sloppiness? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : It's, uh... it's endearing, really. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! Oink! Chandler Bing : Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit. Rachel Green : Any luck? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called \"Invisible things for Kathy.\" Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?", "summary": "Joey and Ross plan to do something messy in the bathroom, while Chandler searches for a unique gift for Kathy."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen. Chandler Bing : She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her. Rachel Green : Aw, honey, that's so sweet. Chandler Bing : Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic? Rachel Green : Oh! Pathetic! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you! Chandler Bing : Where? Joey Tribbiani : Our place, the hall! I... Chandler Bing : I got something for her. It's a book! Joey Tribbiani : A book? Is it like a book that's also a safe?", "summary": "Chandler wants to give Rachel a clock pen, but she thinks it's pathetic. Joey finds out and wants to know where Chandler is going to meet Kathy. Chandler has a book for her instead of the clock pen."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay? Joey Tribbiani : You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there? Chandler Bing : No, it came out to an even twenty. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. That's almost as much as a new book. Mrs. Burkart : Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those peepers? Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those eyes? Phoebe Buffay : You didn't get the money, did you? Monica Geller : Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go! Phoebe Buffay : No! Hey, we're not leaving until we get paid! I don't know who she thinks she is! Enough is enough! Hey, widow? Mrs. Burkart : Come on along and listen to... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Widow!", "summary": "A book is being passed around among friends, with one friend offering to buy it for another as a gift. The book is an early edition of \"The Velveteen Rabbit,\" which was the recipient's favorite childhood book. The friends discuss the price and whether or not they should give the money to the seller. In the midst of this, Mrs. Burkart enters and begins singing a nonsensical song about eyes and peepers, causing confusion among the group. Phoebe becomes upset and demands to be paid for their performance, leading to a confrontation with Mrs. Burkart."}
-{"dialogues": "Mrs. Burkart : ...the lullabye of... Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me. Excuse me! Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go. Mrs. Burkart : All right. I'll get my bag. Phoebe Buffay : Good. Monica Geller : I'm gonna leave some cards here. Please think of us for you next event. Cheryl : So you want to come inside? Ross Geller : Yes. Yes I do. Cheryl : I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. Cheryl : Guess who? Ross Geller : Department of Sanitation?", "summary": "Mrs. Burkart and Phoebe Buffay are caterers who provide food for a party, but Mrs. Burkart doesn't pay them. The group argues and Mrs. Burkart threatens to call the Department of Sanitation. Cheryl returns with Ross Geller, who invites them inside."}
-{"dialogues": "Cheryl : It's me! Ross Geller : Oh! Ah. Aw! Cheryl : What? Ross Geller : Ah, Cheryl! Cheryl : Oh, Ross! Cheryl : Wait! No! No! It's my hamster! It's Mitzi! Ross Geller : Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Cheryl. I must have freaked out. Cheryl : Oh, thank god, it's not Mitzi. It's just a rat. Rachel Green : I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug! Gunther : Move!", "summary": "Cheryl mistakes Ross's reaction for concern about her hamster, Mitzi, but he quickly assures her it's not. Rachel finishes a project and feels proud but without anyone to share the achievement with. Gunther asks people to move."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Hey, you guys, I finished the crossword all by myself! Hug me! Phoebe Buffay : Uh... yay! Rachel Green : Thanks! Monica Geller : Oh, that's great! Congratulations! Rachel Green : Thank you! Hey, how'd the catering go? Monica Geller : Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I'm a hard ass. Monica Geller : And I'm a wuss. And we should be partners. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Hard Ass and Wuss. We could fight crime! Monica Geller : Wait a minute, Phoebe! We should be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together!", "summary": "The gang discovers that Rachel finished the crossword puzzle by herself and celebrates her accomplishment. They also discuss the catering for an event Monica hosted, with Phoebe yelling at the widow to pay and Monica admitting she's a wuss. The two friends realize they would make great catering partners and come up with a plan to start their own business together."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Monica Geller : I can cook and you can take care of the money. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties! Both : Aah! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? That's great! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen, I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad taking credit for this, because man, am I gonna get a lot of credit for this! Chandler Bing : Aahhuuhhh....", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica plan to play out a 1950s-style marriage, with Phoebe as the homemaker and Monica as the breadwinner. Joey gives Monica a gift, which she shows to Rachel and Monica, and Joey feels guilty for taking credit for it."}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Happy birthday. Kathy : Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : You know, uh... Chandler got you a gift, too. Chandler Bing : No he didn't. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he did, look... look, it's right there on the counter! Ha-ho-ho! Chandler Bing : Happy birthday! I'm sorry. Kathy : You really didn't have to. Wow. Chandler Bing : See, you think it's just a pen, but then you turn it over and it's also a clock.", "summary": "Kathy is celebrated on her birthday, and Joey presents a gift to her while Chandler has nothing for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy : Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. . Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah... yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Hm. Wanna go to bed? Kathy : I'll be in in a minute. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. . Chandler Bing : Goodnight. Kathy : Um, thank you for the gift. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time. Kathy : No, I... I didn't mean the pen. Thank you for the book. Chandler Bing : Uh, the book?", "summary": "The group gathers to discuss writing and give each other gifts, but the conversation quickly becomes confusing and disjointed as they struggle to communicate effectively."}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy : The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it. Chandler Bing : What do you mean? Kathy : Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, \"This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese.\" Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find. Chandler Bing : Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, \"Uhl, ell.\" Kathy : You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, he's my... he's my best friend. Kathy : Well.... Chandler Bing : Goodnight. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that coupon expires, you know. Monica Geller : Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister.", "summary": "The Velveteen Rabbit was given to Kathy by Joey with a personal message indicating that he knows she likes rabbits and cheese. Chandler acknowledges the gift but claims it was a coincidence. Kathy expresses admiration for Joey's thoughtfulness, and Chandler reveals that Joey is his best friend. The conversation concludes with a mention of an expired coupon from Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Cheryl : Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, that's too bad that didn't work out. Monica Geller : Yeah. Anyway, he told me about your apartment. And, um, I couldn't sleep, thinking about it. So, uh, would it be okay if I cleaned it? Monica Geller : No? Chandler Bing : I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture! Ross Geller : Y'know if we ever go to war and you're captured, you're in for a big surprise. Chandler Bing : It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean it's bad enough that I'm in love with my roommates girlfriend-which by the way, I think she knows. Because every time we're in the room together there's this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when I've seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, she's smooth! Smooth! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Could everyone totally see up his robe? #ALL# : Yeah! Oh my God! Casey : Here you go. Joey Tribbiani : Great! All right, so I'll call you later.", "summary": "Monica cleans Chandler's apartment and sees Kathy naked; Chandler is in love with his roommate's girlfriend and has seen her naked too; they are all awkward about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Casey : Great! Chandler Bing : Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that? Joey Tribbiani : That would be Casey. We're going out tonight. Chandler Bing : Goin' out, huh? Wow! Wow! So things didn't work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer. Joey Tribbiani : No, things are fine with Kathy. I'm having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! Chandler Bing : Wait! You're going out with Kathy! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Why are you getting so upset? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm upset-for you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you.", "summary": "Casey and Joey are going out tonight, despite Joey previously being with Kathy. Chandler is surprised and expresses disappointment in Joey's lack of commitment."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What is the big deal? It's not like we're exclusive. Chandler Bing : Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that she's-she's smart, and funny, and gets you. Joey Tribbiani : You got all that from the back of her head? Chandler Bing : All right look, I think it's time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane. Joey Tribbiani : Who's Elaine? Phoebe Buffay : \"Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease...\" Darn it! Now, I don't know who to get to the next verse. Ross Geller : Oh, you could just go uh, \"greatest of ease... BAH-bah-bha-bhannn.\" Then go right into it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, ooh, I like that! Yeah. Wait! How do you know about 'bah-bah-bha-bhan?' Ross Geller : Well umm, y'know, I used to play. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, that's right, the keyboards, huh?", "summary": "Joey is dating Kathy but Chandler thinks she's not meeting his friend's emotional needs so he tries to convince Joey to settle down with a specific person. Meanwhile, Phoebe sings a silly song about Elaine and Ross attempts to join in but gets the lyrics wrong."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean that's-that's when I really found my sound. Monica Geller : Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, \"The Sound.\" Phoebe Buffay : I wanna hear \"The Sound.\" Ross Geller : Really? No. I mean, nah, I haven't played in so long, and-and, well it's-it's really personal stuff, y'know? Phoebe Buffay : Come on, play that funky music white boy. Monica Geller : Yeah! Ross Geller : No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up in-No, yeah, okay. Ross Geller : Okay, guys.", "summary": "Ross discovered his unique sound in college and used to lock himself in the basement for hours to play it. Monica forgot about this until Phoebe asked to hear it, but Ross refused, claiming it's personal stuff."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right! Bring it on, you... Ross Geller : Here we go. Y'know, I've-I've never played my stuff for anyone before, so it's important that-that you understand it's about communicating very private emotions. Y'know, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. That's what I'm... Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Play! Monica Geller : Boy, that was-that was, umm... terrific. Chandler Bing : Really, bitchin'! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, it was so-wow! Ross Geller : Really?! I mean, really?!! Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean, you should play in public! Ross Geller : Wow! Thanks, you guys. That's uh-ohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. I'll be right back! Okay? This is so nice, I'm-I am so... Monica Geller : Oh God bless my dad sound proofing the basement!", "summary": "Ross plays his music for Chandler and Monica, who are impressed. Ross then leaves to retrieve a different disk containing helicopter sounds, excited to play more for them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I can't believe I ever let him touch me with those fingers. Phoebe Buffay : What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus it's just, it's so different from the stuff you usually hear. Chandler Bing : You mean like, music? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know what you're thinkin'! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy. Chandler Bing : Come in! Kathy : Hey! Oh God, is that Baywatch? Chandler Bing : Uh yes, but uh, I just watch it for the articles. Kathy : So is Joey around? Chandler Bing : No-no, he's not back yet, but he'll be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern? Kathy : I uh, don't really have a preference. You?", "summary": "The group discusses a moving performance they recently witnessed, with Rachel expressing disbelief at being touched by the performer's fingers. Phoebe defends the performance, calling it unique and enjoyable. Chandler makes an inappropriate comment about Kathy's breasts, leading to confusion and awkwardness. Joey is mentioned as being absent but expected to return soon."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I like it in the stern. ...of the boat. Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble. Chandler Bing : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that I'll be there as soon as I can. Chandler Bing : Why can't you tell her? Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to- Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Chandler Bing : I thought your time ran out. Joey Tribbiani : Me too, but I guess I do have a couple of more-", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nChandler and Joey are on their way back from somewhere when their car breaks down on the Parkway. Joey needs to walk back and get some transmission fluid, but he can't reach Kathy to let her know he'll be late. Chandler thinks Joey's time ran out, but Joey insists he has a few more minutes."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Uhh, that was Joey. He's running a little late, he says he's sorry. Kathy : Oh. Chandler Bing : So I guess it's just uh, you and me then. Kathy : Oh, okay. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think it is! Kathy : So what did you do today? Chandler Bing : Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut... Kathy : Oh, it looks great! Chandler Bing : ...and then it got canceled. Kathy : Well, I could cut it.", "summary": "Joey is running late and apologizes to Chandler, who suggests they hang out instead. Kathy joins them, and they chat about their day. Joey's haircut appointment was canceled, but Kathy offers to cut his hair."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really?! You do that? Kathy : Yeah, I do. Of course, I learned at my aunt's dog grooming shop, but hey, what do you say? Chandler Bing : Dog grooming huh? Okay, just don't make my tail too poofy. Kathy : You have really great hair. Chandler Bing : Well, thanks. I grow it myself. Y'know who also has great hair is Joey! Kathy : Yes! Yeah! Joey has great hair! Umm, I'm basically done here. Just let me get this off your neck. Chandler Bing : What-what 'cha doin'? Kathy : Checking to see if it's even. Chandler Bing : 'Kay. Kathy : Looks good.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around dog grooming and hair care. Chandler mentions that he grows his own hair, while Joey also has great hair. Kathy agrees and says she's finished with the neck massage."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh the phone! The phone's making sounds! Hello! Joey Tribbiani : Hey dude, it's me. Chandler Bing : Hey it's Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Listen uh, I'm really sorry, it looks like I'm gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasn't there! Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it must've fallen out a few blocks back. I just figured we hit a dog. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Listen uh, could you put Kathy on, I wanna apologize. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah man. Joey. Kathy : Hey. Oh no it's fine, don't worry about it. Yeah-no, stop apologizing, it's okay. Yeah! I'll talk to you tomorrow. I should uh, probably go.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani gets a flat transmission and can't find it, causing him to be stranded. Chandler Bing talks to Joey on the phone and tries to help him figure out what happened to the transmission. Joey apologizes to Kathy for being stuck in his car."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. Yes! Yeah. Kathy : I forgot my purse. Chandler Bing : Oh. Kathy : No, I really did forget my purse. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, this is bad! It's bad! This is bad! Kathy : Horrible! Chandler Bing : Wait the uh, the kiss or the situation? Kathy : No-no-no, the kiss was good. Chandler Bing : Okay! Kathy : No, but that's bad!", "summary": "Kathy forgets her purse and Chandler reacts with disbelief and humor. They exchange banter about the situation, with Chandler joking about the kiss being good despite the forgetfulness."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ooh! Yes! Okay! Here's what we do, we-we forget it happened. Kathy : What?! Chandler Bing : Okay, we-we swallow our feelings. Even if it means we're unhappy forever. Sound good? Kathy : Can you really do that? Chandler Bing : I have to; he's my best friend, and you're seeing him. Kathy : Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you... Chandler Bing : Oh-no-no-no! Don't! Don't! See-see, you're getting me confused, I'm starting to urn. Kathy : I'm sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try. Chandler Bing : I-I think we have too. Kathy : Okay. Bye.", "summary": "Chandler and Kathy have a conversation where they discuss forgetting a past event and swallowing their feelings. They later agree to pretend that nothing happened between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Bye. Are you still out there? Kathy : No. Ross Geller : Electrifying. Emphatic time-time-time... Monica Geller : Y'know, there's a Starbucks about three blocks down. Phoebe Buffay : It's so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go! Ross Geller : Thank you guys-guys-guys... Monica Geller : Hey, aren't you up next? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I'm not playing tonight. Rachel Green : Why not? Phoebe Buffay : I can't follow Ross! It'd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.", "summary": "Ross Geller performs an energetic dance and receives applause from his friends, while Phoebe Buffay expresses admiration for Ross's performance but declines to play due to feeling overshadowed by Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Phoebe, Ross sucks! Rachel Green : Phoebe, the place has emptied because of him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, he's not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time! Monica Geller : Okay. Umm, Phoebe, you suck too. Rachel Green : Yeah, Phoebe you're... awful! Phoebe Buffay : You guys. You suck too. Joey Tribbiani : Aww man! I can't believe I locked myself out again! Chandler Bing : Hang on buddy! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! What happened here? Did you do all this? Chandler Bing : I sure did.", "summary": "Ross sucks and is not appreciated in his own time. Phoebe also sucks and is unappreciated. Monica and Rachel agree with Phoebe. Joey gets locked out of the apartment again."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Why? Chandler Bing : Well, I just thought it'd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you're amazing. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. Joey Tribbiani : A TV as if it appears from nowhere! That's the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff? Chandler Bing : Well, y'know I'm 29. I mean who needs a savings account. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you are the best friends anyone has ever had. Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't know. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, I'm gonna do that. Chandler Bing : You mean with Casey.", "summary": "Chandler buys Joey a TV as a surprise gift, and Joey is amazed. They discuss their friendship and how Chandler has been there for Joey through various challenges, including helping him navigate his relationship with Casey."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, I think I'm gonna see how things go with Kathy. She's pretty cool. Chandler Bing : Or Casey. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, Kathy. Chandler Bing : Could be Casey. Joey Tribbiani : No. No, Kathy. Chandler Bing : Consider Casey. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what I think? I think somebody's got a little crush on Casey. How 'bout I fix you two up? What do you think? Chandler Bing : That all the pieces of my life are falling right into place! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! You were really great! You were really, really great!", "summary": "Joey likes Kathy but is unsure. Chandler suggests Casey as an alternative. Joey is hesitant but considers it. Chandler thinks someone has a crush on Casey. Joey offers to set them up."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you don't want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true? Phoebe Buffay : Well, kinda. Yeah. Yeah. Ross Geller : Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I-I can't-I mean y'know I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I just-I feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I... Ross Geller : See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Y'know my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I... I won't play anymore. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. No-no-no, don't do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay. Ross Geller : Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice. Monica Geller : Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever! Chandler Bing : I kissed Kathy.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss his music and how it affects her. Ross decides to stop playing to avoid upsetting Phoebe, but she convinces him to continue performing to share his talent with the world."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Does Joey know? Chandler Bing : No. Is there anyway, anyway you think he'll understand this? Monica Geller : You obviously haven't screwed over a lot of your friends. Which we all appreciate. Ross Geller : No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just would've just stepped aside. Chandler Bing : Oh, don't say that! Don't say that. That's not true. Is it? Phoebe Buffay : I think maybe, yeah. Monica Geller : He loves you. Chandler Bing : Then why didn't you tell me to do that?!!", "summary": "Monica and Ross discuss how she kissed Joey without telling him first, and they both agree that Joey would have likely stepped aside if Monica had told him how she felt beforehand. Phoebe joins in and wonders why Monica didn't tell Chandler to intervene, and Monica replies that Chandler loves her. The conversation ends with Chandler expressing frustration over not being told about the situation earlier."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! No, that's right. And I thought it was a really good idea. Rachel Green : I know, I remember that! Monica Geller : I remember you did. Chandler Bing : God!! What am I gonna do?! Rachel Green : Well, Chandler, you're gonna have to tell him. Chandler Bing : Why?! Why do I have to tell him?! Rachel Green : Because you do. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know. Ross Geller : Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.", "summary": "Ross writes a song about Chandler's secret."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Samboucha Margarita? Chandler Bing : Is that a real thing? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now. Chandler Bing : Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something. Joey Tribbiani : What's up? Chandler Bing : It's-it's about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually. Joey Tribbiani : You do? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you're timing couldn't be better. She's not my girlfriend anymore.", "summary": "Chandler confides in Joey about his feelings for Kathy, but Joey reveals that he is no longer dating her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she broke up with me. Chandler Bing : Oh uh, when? Joey Tribbiani : Just now, after acting class. At first I thought she was doing some kind of scene, that's why I let people watch. Chandler Bing : Oh man, I am so sorry. Are, are you okay? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I've been better. But, I'm all right. So you like her huh? Chandler Bing : Yes, but I-I uh, don't have too. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, no it's uh, it's okay. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. You know why? 'Cause you came to me first.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani just got dumped after acting class and Chandler Bing offers his condolences. Joey reveals that he thought his ex was doing a scene at first, which is why he let people watch. Chandler expresses interest in Joey's ex but downplays it when Joey thanks him for being honest."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do. Joey Tribbiani : But hey, listen just so you know, you might have you're work cut out for you. 'Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that she's into some other guy. So... Chandler Bing : See uh, that's-that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is. Joey Tribbiani : Who? Chandler Bing : It's me. I'm the other guy. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and... Joey Tribbiani : And what?! Did you sleep with her?! Chandler Bing : No! No! No! I just kissed her. Joey Tribbiani : What?!! That's even worse!!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey discuss a woman named Kathy who Joey thinks might be interested in another guy. Chandler reveals that he has also kissed her, which surprises and dismayed Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : How is that worse?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! But it's the same! Chandler Bing : Look, I'm sorry! But there's nothing I can do, I think I'm in love with her! Joey Tribbiani : Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you! Chandler Bing : You're right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line. Joey Tribbiani : Over the line?! You-you're-you're so far past the line, that you-you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you! Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes! Right! And I feel horrible. You have to believe me! Joey Tribbiani : Is that why you bought all this stuff?! Well, y'know what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and there's a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that I'm not gonna eat! You know why?! Chandler Bing : Probably because... Joey Tribbiani : Because it's all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And I'm not happy about you either. Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you.", "summary": "Chandler betrayed Joey's trust by buying presents for their mutual love interest without telling him. Joey is angry and upset, feeling betrayed and hurt. He vows to boycott Chandler's belongings and move out of their apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, he's lost it. He's totally lost it. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves. Ross Geller : Thank you, thanks. Yeah, I lost it. Y'know, I'm not gonna play anymore, would you, can you finish my set? Phoebe Buffay : After that? Yeah! No, I mean if I can help. Ross Geller : Yeah, like I could lose it. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I played bad on purpose guys. Monica Geller : Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time. Ross Geller : Yeah-no, just that last song.", "summary": "Ross intentionally plays poorly during his set at a local bar, then asks Phoebe and Rachel for help finishing it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hey, it's me. I know you can't stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought I'd try and apologize over the phone. All I... Joey Tribbiani : Hello. Chandler Bing : Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but I'm... Joey Tribbiani : Stop callin'!! Voice : Hey! Hey! Hey! This is 92.3, WXRK, K-Rock for our $1,000 daily challenge. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Voice : What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything... Chandler Bing : Aww, turkey! Aww, giving thanks! Aww! Phoebe Buffay : Look everyone, it's the spirit of Thanksgiving!", "summary": "Chandler tries to apologize over the phone to Joey after kissing his girlfriend. Phoebe interrupts with a Thanksgiving-themed interruption."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So are things with you and Joey any better? Chandler Bing : They couldn't be worse. I spent eight hours calling him last night, just trying to get him to talk to me. Rachel Green : Oh wow, eight hours? So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets huh? Ross Geller : Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office? Rachel Green : You shouldn't. Phoebe Buffay : Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and there's the added mystery of who gets who. Ross Geller : Who gets whom. I don't know why I do that. Rachel Green : Well, I'm gonna take a nap, turkey makes me sleepy. Monica Geller : We haven't eaten yet! Rachel Green : I know, but all that work you're doing to get it ready, I just...", "summary": "Joey and Chandler are having communication issues, with Chandler spending eight hours trying to reach Joey. Ross suggests they use headsets for easier conversations. Phoebe and Monica discuss doing a secret Santa gift exchange, but Monica is worried about buying gifts on a tight budget. Rachel falls asleep during the conversation and Monica reveals she hasn't eaten yet."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, 'cause I wanna trade for her. Phoebe Buffay : I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh! Chandler Bing : Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly? Phoebe Buffay : Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, it's like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let's trade! Chandler Bing : Oh that's not true! That's not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it... Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it... Her initials... Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Monica Geller : Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller. Chandler Bing : Op, y'know what though, it's kind've a girlie briefcase. Monica Geller : Who cares? He works in a museum! Chandler Bing : Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start!", "summary": "Rachel was chosen for secret Santa, and Chandler wants to trade her for Phoebe. However, Phoebe reveals that Rachel always exchanges her gifts, making it impossible to get her something she likes. Chandler insists that he got Rachel a great gift, but Phoebe is skeptical. Monica suggests trading the gift for Ross instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to do that, Ross and Joey aren't here, you can watch the parade if you want. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Monica Geller : What is wrong with this freezer?! Ow! Ow!! Phoebe Buffay : God, what happened?! Monica Geller : Oh my God, ice just got in my eye! Rachel Green : People are trying to sleep in here! Chandler Bing : Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts. Phoebe Buffay : Open it up, let me see. Monica Geller : Oh, y'know what, I can't, it really kills. Chandler Bing : Well maybe you should put some ice on it.", "summary": "Monica gets ice in her eye and hurts, Phoebe tries to help by opening her eye, and Chandler suggests putting ice on it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, God it looks bad. Rachel Green : Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor. Monica Geller : No, my eye doctor is Richard! I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend! Chandler Bing : He's really picky about his patients. Phoebe Buffay : Honey, you've got to go. What's his office number? Monica Geller : Like I remember his office number! Speed dial 7. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. He's out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor? Monica Geller : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : Yes! She's very excited about that. Phoebe Buffay : This is so cool, 'til Monica gets back, it's like I'm head chef and I get to make all the decisions.", "summary": "Monica has an eye problem and needs to see her doctor, Richard Burke, but he is out of town. Phoebe calls his office to check if he is available, and when they find out he is not, Monica gets excited about seeing the on-call doctor instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, get out of my kitchen! Chandler Bing : All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it. Phoebe Buffay : All right I... I gotta call my mom and ask her a left handed cooking question. Ross Geller : So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but I'm already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch. Chandler Bing : Oh y'know what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you. Ross Geller : Really?! Wow! That's-that's so nice, what are you gonna get me? Chandler Bing : I don't know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office. Ross Geller : Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, you don't want to do that, then you're gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.", "summary": "Ross wants to trade Monica for Chanukah gifts but Chandler already has a secret Santa gift for him. Phoebe calls her mom for help with left-handed cooking, and Ross offers to switch gifts with Chandler but Chandler declines because Rachel exchanges every gift she gets."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, that's not true! I've got her lots of stuff she never took back. Chandler Bing : Like? Ross Geller : Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year. Chandler Bing : When was the last time you saw her wear it? Ross Geller : Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh... Chandler Bing : Big dog? Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.", "summary": "Ross buys Monica a gold necklace but she never wears it and he keeps it in his closet. Chandler gives Monica gifts despite not being in a relationship with her, including a big dog. Joey returns the gifts to Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Everything? Even the TV? Joey Tribbiani : No! I'm putting that in my room. Ross Geller : Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but don't you think you could at least hear the guy out? Joey Tribbiani : Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out? Ross Geller : That's a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him? Joey Tribbiani : Five years. Ross Geller : You've sentenced him?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Ross Geller : Joey, the guy's your best friend. Joey Tribbiani : No, was my best friend. Anyway, I don't know why you're pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, there's a spot open.", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Joey to listen to Chandler after he kissed Rachel. Joey sentences Chandler to five years of punishment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, who? Me? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Wow! I'm honored! And y'know what I'm gonna do as my first act as your best friend? Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : I'm gonna get you to talk to Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : All right. But if you weren't my best friend. Kathy : Oh my God, is it really that bad? Chandler Bing : I walk into a room and he won't even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler? Gunther : I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of who is over there.", "summary": "Ross becomes Joey's best friend and plans to introduce him to Chandler. However, Chandler struggles to communicate with him due to his mumbling in Italian and only knowing bad words."}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe. Joey Tribbiani :  Doctor : I'll be right with you. Okay? Thanks, Wendy. Monica Geller : Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor? Rachel Green : Ooh, so cute, that I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye. Nurse : Dr. Burke will see you know. Monica Geller : Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call doctor will see me now. Nurse : Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now. Timothy Burke : Ready?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are at the hospital for a check-up, when they meet the on-call doctor, who is cute and makes Monica distracted. Meanwhile, Chandler and Joey are talking to Joe, while Doctor Burke is delayed. When Dr. Burke arrives, he's out of town and his son, Dr. Timothy Burke, takes over the check-up."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! I'm sorry! That- where are you going? Joey Tribbiani : My folks. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, when-when are you coming back? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment. Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, y'know at first I thought we could talk about this y'know, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I don't think I... Chandler Bing : Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I'll stop seeing her? Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I don't want to live with some one who doesn't know what it is to be a friend. So, I'll see ya. Chandler Bing : Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You did! And that's why I'm leaving.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey have a conversation about their friendship and Joey's decision to leave Chandler's apartment. They discuss how seeing Chandler with another woman has made Joey realize that he doesn't want to live with someone who doesn't know what it means to be a true friend. Joey ultimately decides to leave, citing Chandler's mistake as the reason for his departure."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right look, if you're not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all! Joey Tribbiani : When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down! Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! But if would've know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldn't have worried about it so much! See you around! Chandler Bing : All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. What? Joey Tribbiani : We've got a box. Timothy Burke : Last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were just standing outside The Dairy Queen. Monica Geller : I was probably waiting for it to open. Timothy Burke : I gotta tell you, you look great now. Monica Geller : You look great too.", "summary": "The group discusses a difficult year they have had, including a robbery and feelings of guilt and regret. Chandler Bing tries to make amends for past mistakes, but Joey Tribbiani is unresponsive. Timothy Burke returns after leaving for college, and the group catches up. Monica Geller and Timothy Burke express admiration for each other's appearance."}
-{"dialogues": "Timothy Burke : You're an excellent patient! Monica Geller : So how does it look? Timothy Burke : Well, you've got a little scratch on your cornea, your gonna have to wear a patch for a couple of days. Monica Geller : Like a pirate?! Timothy Burke : If that helps you. Monica Geller : Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? Come on, one of us had to mention him. Timothy Burke : I moved back here a couple of months ago. Monica Geller : Oh. Big family dinner tonight? Timothy Burke : Uh. Monica Geller : No way!", "summary": "Monica Geller visits an eye doctor, Timothy Burke, after scratching her cornea. He informs her she'll need to wear a patch for a couple of days and jokes about her looking like a pirate. Monica asks Timothy about his father, and he reveals he recently moved back home. Monica then awkwardly changes the subject to ask if there will be a big family dinner that night."}
-{"dialogues": "Timothy Burke : I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriend's. Monica Geller : Oh. Timothy Burke : But we broke up. Monica Geller : Oh. Timothy Burke : She-she wasn't ready for a serious commitment. Monica Geller : Oh. So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie? Timothy Burke : You're not wearing the patch yet. Monica Geller : I know. Ross Geller : He's coming here for Thanksgiving! Rachel Green : I know, it's sick.", "summary": "Tim broke up with his girlfriend because she wasn't ready for a serious commitment. Monica and Rachel are shocked and upset by this revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why is it sick? Rachel Green : Because it's Richard's son! It's like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner! Monica Geller : Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand don't you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I can see where I'd be your best shot but, no. I'm sorry, but I think it's twisted. Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : What's twisted? Monica Geller : Me going out with Richard's son. Joey Tribbiani : Ewwwww!! Ew! Ew! Ew! Chandler Bing : Sounds like a really bad idea to me. Rachel Green : Is he okay in there?", "summary": "Monica wants to go out with Richard's son, but her friends think it's a bad idea due to their shared history and fear of Greek tragedy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : He's fine! Ross Geller : Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richard's son, you'd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather. Monica Geller : Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, livin' in a box!! Rachel Green : So now, what exactly is the point of the box? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Chandler Bing : The meaning of the box is three fold. One , it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two , it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three , it hurts! Ross Geller : Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it? Rachel Green : Why? Ross Geller : I just wanna check something. Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Ross wants to know where his necklace is, Monica and Rachel make fun of their friends' quirks, Joey is in a box thinking about his mistakes, Chandler's box serves as a symbol of his friendship with Joey, and Ross remembers a past gift from Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Now, we'll see. Chandler Bing : Air hole! Air hole!! Rachel Green : Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time. Ross Geller : The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver. Rachel Green : Huh, well maybe it uh, it changed. Ross Geller : Oh my God! You actually exchanged it! Rachel Green : Well isn't it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of? Ross Geller : What did you get? Rachel Green : Credit. Monica Geller : I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! Hi, Tim.", "summary": "Ross gives Rachel a gold necklace, but she exchanges it for silver. Monica gets excited and starts repeating \"I'll get it!\""}
-{"dialogues": "Timothy Burke : Hi. Monica Geller : Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe. Timothy Burke : Hi, nice to meet you. Monica Geller : And Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Timothy Burke : Hi, Joey. Monica Geller : My brother, Ross. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : And Rachel. And that's Chandler. Chandler Bing : How do ya do.", "summary": "Ross meets Timothy Burke, who is introduced to Monica and her friends Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Timothy Burke : What's... Monica Geller : Umm, well, he's... Joey Tribbiani : He's doin' some thinkin'! Chandler Bing : What happened? What happened?! Joey Tribbiani : You kissed my girlfriend! Rachel Green : Ooh, I like those sunglasses. Ross Geller : Like 'em, like 'em? Or, I'd like to get store credit for that amount like 'em? Rachel Green :  Monica Geller : All right everybody, this turkey is ready! Timothy Burke : Where can I wash up?", "summary": "Ross kisses Rachel's friend, Monica's boyfriend (Joey) is thinking, Chandler wants to know what happened, Joey reveals Ross kissed his girlfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap. Timothy Burke : Thank you. Rachel Green : Fancy soap? I thought we were savin' that for the Pope! Monica Geller : See he's nice. Right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, \"That's not how your dad used to do it.\" Timothy Burke : Wow! Everything looks great! Where should I sit? Monica Geller : I saved you a seat. Rachel Green : Sick-sick-sick-sick. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'll get it. Chandler Bing : Gotcha!", "summary": "Monica shows Tim fancy soap and he thanks her. Rachel makes a joke about saving the soap for the Pope. Phoebe comments on Monica's relationship with Tim and wonders if she wants to use old-fashioned phrases like \"That's not how your dad used to do it.\" Tim compliments the cleanliness of the room and Monica saves him a seat. Rachel makes a sick face and Phoebe offers to get it, but Chandler jokes that he got it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That doesn't sound like thinking to me! Chandler Bing : Sorry! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know I don't think you should be talking at all in there! I think you've got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, you got it! Rachel Green : Ross, can you pass me the yams? Ross Geller : Sure! Oh, and Joey's got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them. Rachel Green : Would you stop?! What is the matter with you?! Monica Geller : Oh-ho-ho, we've got company. Ross Geller : There's nothing the matter with me. See, I'm not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings. Rachel Green : Okay, fine.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over Joey's excessive thinking during Thanksgiving dinner, while Ross passes out food and Monica tries to keep the peace."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You can't tell, but I'm trying to break the tension by mooning you guys! Joey Tribbiani : All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesn't mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise you're just an idiot in a box! Chandler Bing : You're right, and I'm sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I won't say another word tonight. Joey Tribbiani : So are you gonna start taking this thing seriously? Chandler Bing : Absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? Okay. Rachel Green : Don't say that I have no sentiment! This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! This is from the museum from the first time we... were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter! Ross Geller : I don't know what to say, I'm sorry. Though, you're not supposed to take these. It's like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that. Monica Geller : Ooh, this always happens. Timothy Burke : Here, let me help.", "summary": "Chandler Bing tries to break the tension by mooning his friends, but Joey Tribbiani takes it seriously and shares sentimental items from their past. Rachel Green defends her gifts, and Ross Geller reveals that he doesn't know what to say as the objects are ancient and they had people looking for them. Monica Geller tries to help, and Timothy Burke offers to assist."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Thank you. Timothy Burke : You-you have a very beautiful... eye. Monica Geller : Y'know all my friends think this is weird. Timothy Burke : Y'know I-I thought it was gonna be weird, I mean I almost called and canceled, but it really isn't. Monica Geller : I know! I mean it's like me and your dad, that's a totally separate thing. Timothy Burke : Oh, I totally agree. Monica Geller : We're just two people who find each other very attractive. Right? Timothy Burke : What? Monica Geller : Nothing. Nothing. Timothy Burke : No-no really, was-was that not okay?", "summary": "Monica and Timothy are attracted to each other and find themselves in a situation where they are nervous and flustered. They try to downplay their feelings and make small talk, but ultimately admit that they find each other attractive."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No-no-no that was good, it was, that was uh, that was a goood kiss... Timothy Burke : Oh my God! It didn't remind you of... Monica Geller : Don't say it! Timothy Burke : No, but it did! Didn't it?! Monica Geller : Yeah! Timothy Burke : Oh man!! Monica Geller : I know! Joey Tribbiani : I'll get it. Kathy : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Hey.", "summary": "Monica and Timothy share a kiss that reminds them of a past event. They try to avoid discussing it, but eventually admit their feelings. Joey tries to intervene, but Kathy interrupts."}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy : Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am... Joey Tribbiani : That's okay. Chandler's the one I'm mad at. Kathy : Well, I'm still sorry. Is he here? Joey Tribbiani : In the box. Kathy : Chandler? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he-he can't talk right now. Kathy : Why not? What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : He's just trying to show Joey how much he means to him. Kathy : By being in a box? Rachel Green : Joey, had reasons.", "summary": "Joey is mad at Chandler and wants Kathy to know he's sorry. Chandler is in a box."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : They were threefold. Kathy : Oh. Well uh, you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm... Listen I don't wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I can't stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I don't wanna be the cause of that. So, I don't think we can see each other anymore. I'm gonna go to my mom's in Chicago, I'm gonna stay there for awhile. I think this could've be something really amazing, but y'know this is probably for the best. Y'know? I'm gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Open the box!! Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! Get out of there! Chandler Bing : So? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we're gonna be fine! Get out! Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you did some real good thinkin' in there. Chandler Bing : Man, this is...", "summary": "Threefold. Kathy breaks up with Chandler due to his inability to speak and her desire not to cause tension between his friendship with Joey. She moves away to Chicago to avoid it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Now go! 'Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from you're secret Santa! Joey Tribbiani : All right, who got Chandler? 'Cause I uh, need to trade. Rachel Green : Oh, he sees her! Monica Geller : Oh, he's catching up to her! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she sees him! Oh, they're hugging! Ross Geller : He's taking her purse! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, that's not them. I'm gonna go call the police. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, there they are! Phoebe Buffay : All right, get a room. Phoebe Buffay : Okay!", "summary": "Joey and Rachel exchange Secret Santa gifts, while Chandler and Monica try to avoid each other. Meanwhile, Ross tries to take Rachel's purse, and Phoebe finds them all and encourages them to \"get a room\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Come on, no peeking! Chandler Bing : Our eyes are closed and we're about to cross the street. Very good. Phoebe Buffay : Okayyyyy, open up! Ross Geller : What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchin' van! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's for our catering business! Joey Tribbiani : I think I know that girl. Monica Geller : All right, umm, we're not gonna really keep it this way though. Rachel Green : No? Phoebe Buffay : No, we're gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette. Rachel Green : Oh!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler try to cross the street without looking, while Phoebe shows Ross her new catering van. Joey thinks he knows the girl in the van, but Monica reveals they're going to paint over a sword on the side with a baguette instead. Rachel approves."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : And also, we don't know what to do with this. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, I definitely know her. Monica Geller : Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything? Phoebe Buffay : Oh sure, Cilantro Larry. Monica Geller : Well, I'm gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter. Monica Geller : Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence... dozens of people. Phoebe Buffay : How could you say yes, what about our catering business? Monica Geller : Oh no-no-no, it's only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners. #ALL# : Yay!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, in that case--Yay! That was me hopping on board.", "summary": "Monica Geller gets offered to fill in as a food critic for the Chelsea Reporter and agrees to do so, causing tension between her and Phoebe Buffay who runs a catering business with Joey Tribbiani."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party? Ross Geller : I don't know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but there's this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch. Chandler Bing : No-no, I don't think you heard me. Are you ready to party?! Ross Geller : Nooo!! Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town? Chandler Bing : Kathy's with her parents, I have nothing to do, so tomorrow we are partying with Gandolf dude! Ross Geller : Dude, we are sooo gonna party! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy? Ross Geller : Mike \"Gandolf\" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world. Chandler Bing : I'm gonna call and get off work tomorrow!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are planning a party with Gandalf (a friend of theirs). Ross is hesitant to attend as he wants to watch a documentary about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel. Chandler insists that they party instead, and convinces Ross to join in. Phoebe joins the conversation and expresses her excitement about the upcoming party."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm gonna call after you! Chandler Bing : This is gonna be soo cool, dude, we never party anymore! Chandler Bing : Woooo!!! Monica Geller : All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van? Joey Tribbiani : Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book? Ross Geller : Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard! Joey Tribbiani : Well, why do you call him Gandolf? Ross Geller : Gandolf the wizard. Hello! Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school? Joey Tribbiani : No, I had sex in high school. Rachel Green : Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. There's an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss...", "summary": "Ross and Chandler reminisce about their past parties and plans to call each other afterward. Monica questions them about a mysterious event in the back of their van, while Joey recounts a memorable experience with strippers. Ross introduces Joey to Gandolf, the party wizard, and Joey explains why he calls him that. Rachel joins the conversation and asks for advice on an job opportunity."}
-{"dialogues": "Joanna : Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me. Rachel Green : Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and... Joanna : Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you can't stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons. Rachel Green : God, I am so glad you don't have a problem with this, because if you did, I wouldn't even consider applying. Joanna : Really? Well, in that case... Rachel Green : And that's I'm so glad... there's no problem. Joanna : That's fine, actually I'm on the hiring committee, so there'll be at least one friendly face. Rachel Green : Ohh! That's great! Joanna : You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job. Rachel Green : Really?!", "summary": "Joanna and Rachel discuss the possibility of Rachel becoming Joanna's assistant. Joanna is hesitant due to concerns about the workload and the fact that neither can keep relying on Sophie (for different reasons). Rachel is glad that Joanna is not opposed and mentions that she is also on the hiring committee. Joanna reveals that she started her career at Junior Miss, where she had to sleep with an unattractive person to get the job."}
-{"dialogues": "Joanna : No-ho-ho! Yeah. I mean, no-no-no-no-no, don't you worry, I'm sure with your qualifications you won't need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing. Rachel Green : Well, I, umm... Joanna : Kidding! God, I feel wild today! Chandler Bing : Oh man! I am so excited-I may vomit! Joey Tribbiani : Will you calm down, he's just a human guy. Chandler Bing : Look you don't understand, Gandolf is amazing. Y'know you're never know what's gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia! Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it's beautiful country up there. Ross Geller : Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite kit! Chandler Bing : It's not gonna be exactly like last time.", "summary": "Joanna makes a joke about sleeping with someone to get a job, but Rachel is unsure. Chandler gets excited about going on an adventure with Gandolf, while Joey tries to calm him down. Ross prepares for a trip by packing his passport and other essentials."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll see you guys. Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa! Chandler Bing : Whoa-wh-wh-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Joey Tribbiani : I have an audition, but I'll definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon? Ross Geller : Somewhere maybe along the equator? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : Hello. It's Gandolf!!! So, are you in town? Oh, well, well maybe next time then. Ross Geller : What happened? Chandler Bing : He's not gonna make it, he's stuck in Chicago. Ross Geller : Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky!", "summary": "Joey has an audition but promises to hook up with his friends later. Chandler is excited to see Gandolf but learns he won't be able to make it due to being stuck in Chicago."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Stupid, useless Canadian money! Mr. Posner : You have a very impressive resume, Ms. Green. I especially like what I see here about implementing a new filing system. Rachel Green : Thank you. Joanna : Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets. Rachel Green : Well, they uh, they-they do more than that. Mrs. Lynch : I notice that you've been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities. Rachel Green : Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me. Joanna : Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. It's amazing how she gets it right almost every time! Rachel Green : I-I-I of course, I have more responsibilities than that. Joanna : Oh yes, well there's the coffee too. Rachel can carry two things at once!", "summary": "Rachel Green is interviewed for a job and impresses her interviewer with her resume, particularly her experience in implementing a new filing system. Joanna, a mentor to Rachel, also impresses the interviewer with her organizational skills. However, Rachel's responsibilities go beyond just carrying things and making coffee, as she has been entrusted with important tasks."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Posner : Yes, that's very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers. Rachel Green : Yes, I realize that... Joanna : And Rachel shouldn't have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean. Rachel Green : I love working with designers! Joanna : With them, under them, what's the difference? Eh, Rach? Monica Geller : Hey! My first review is out! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm. Monica Geller : All right, look at my on the back page. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay! \"Would I go back to Allesandro's? Sure, but I'd have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head.\" Wow! You really laid into this place. Monica Geller : Hey, they don't pay me a penny a word to make friends.", "summary": "Rachel Green works with designers and has no problem doing so. Joanna warns Rachel not to get too friendly with them, as she doesn't want her to become dependent on them. Monica Geller receives a review for her restaurant and shares it with Phoebe Buffay, who is critical of the reviewer's language."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering. Monica Geller : Oh! Do you need me to go with you? Phoebe Buffay : No-no, it's okay. But are we sure we don't want the waterbed? Monica Geller : Haven't we made this decision? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, all right. Monica Geller : Bye! Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Monica Geller : Who is it? Allesandro : It's Allesandro, from Allesandro's. Monica Geller : Oh my God.", "summary": "A potential contractor for fixing up the van for catering is found, but there is debate over whether to use a waterbed or not."}
-{"dialogues": "Allesandro : I want to talk to you about your review. Monica Geller : Oh my God, oh my God. Call me on the phone! Allesandro : Why? So you could hang up on me? Monica Geller : Look, I-I'm never gonna let you up so you may as well just go away. Allesandro : Just give me a chance too... Phoebe Buffay : Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go. Monica Geller : No! Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Monica! Allesandro : I want a retraction! Our food is not inedible swill! Monica Geller : I couldn't eat it! I had five friends who couldn't eat it, and one of them eats books.", "summary": "Allesandro wants to talk to Monica about her review of their food, which she called inedible swill. Monica refuses to call him back and hangs up on him. Phoebe offers to let Allesandro in, but Monica insists she doesn't want him there. Allesandro demands a retraction and claims that their food is not inedible swill."}
-{"dialogues": "Allesandro : Well our service is not grossly incompetent. Monica Geller : The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants! Allesandro : Well, you said that we except the Discover Card, which we do not! Monica Geller : All right, that I'll retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasn't it. You're marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery. Allesandro : Hey! I'm proud of that sauce, it's delicious. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from? Allesandro : Lebanon. Monica Geller : Hand me those tomatoes, I'm gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them. Allesandro : How long is this gonna take? 'Cause I got another critic to go yell at. Rachel Green : Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.", "summary": "* Monica Geller leaves a negative review of an Italian restaurant after discovering the waiter had breadsticks in his pants.\n* The owner, Allesandro, defends his marinara sauce but Monica insists it tastes like tomato juice and suggests serving it with vodka and celery.\n* Monica becomes angry and demands to see the chef, while Allesandro reveals he is from Lebanon.\n* Rachel Green joins the conversation and tries to steer the discussion towards an interview she wants to discuss."}
-{"dialogues": "Joanna : I thought it went very well. Rachel Green : No! It didn't! That's what I want to talk to you about. Now, just to brief you... I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you. Joanna : Rachel, please, don't make a scene. Rachel Green : There's nobody here! Joanna : Sophie, get in here! You see! Now you're making Sophie uncomfortable! Sophie : She's not making me uncomfortable. Joanna : Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. Rachel Green : Do you want me to quit? Joanna : What?! What would make you think that? Rachel Green : Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Y'know what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, and I will be gone by the end of the day! Well, I guess there's no use to me sticking around 'til the end of the day!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Rachel Green, who is upset with Joanna and Sophie about their comments in an interview. Rachel feels that she is not a good assistant and considers quitting."}
-{"dialogues": "Joanna : Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in it's drawer. If you must know the truth, I didn't want to lose a perfectly good assistant. Rachel Green : What? Joanna : That's why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking... Rachel Green : My drinking? Joanna : Oh, I must've said that after you left. Rachel Green : Said what? Exactly. Joanna : That you enjoyed the occasional drink...ing binge. Rachel Green : Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! I'm leaving! You are just a horrible person! Joanna : Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If you're gonna get all sensitive about it! I don't want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? I'll make you an assistant buyer in this department. Rachel Green : Say more things like that.", "summary": "Joanna says mean things about Rachel's flirting and drinking, but then offers her a job as an assistant buyer to keep her from leaving."}
-{"dialogues": "Joanna : You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow. Rachel Green : I'd need an expense account. Joanna : Done! Rachel Green : And an assistant. Joanna : Sophie, get in here! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! What are you guys doing here? I thought you'd be out partying with Gandel-worf. Ross Geller : It's Gandolf, and he's not coming. Joey Tribbiani : So you've been sittin' around here all mornin'? Ross Geller : No! I balanced my checkbook. Chandler Bing : Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.", "summary": "Joanna offers Rachel a raise and her own office, but Rachel requests an expense account and an assistant. Joey interrupts their conversation, and Ross mentions that Gandolf (not Gandel-worf) is not coming out partying with them. Meanwhile, Chandler gives first names to the foosball players."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I can't believe he didn't come! Joey Tribbiani : So what if he didn't come! We can still go out and party ourselves! Chandler Bing : Oh-no, y'know with Gandolf we'd be out all night! Ross Geller : Yeah! We'd meet, we'd meet total strangers, and hang out with them! Joey Tribbiani : Well, we could do that! Ross Geller : There's other stuff too. Joey Tribbiani : We'll do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on! Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Yeah!!", "summary": "Ross and Joey are upset that their friend didn't show up to a party. They decide to go out and have fun without him, but Chandler is worried that they will be out all night with Gandolf. Ross and Joey are determined to make the most of the night and have fun regardless."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Ross Geller : It's not like we don't know how to party!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! All right? Let's go! Chandler Bing : And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!!! Chandler Bing : All right!! Ross Geller : Hey-hey-hey, when uh, when were we on a boat? Chandler Bing : Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Well, those were seals, man.", "summary": "Ross, Joey, and Chandler reminisce about their past experiences on a boat, including a time when they woke up to find seals licking their faces instead of dogs."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer? Monica Geller : Okay, the owner of Allesandro's came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!! Rachel Green : Oh my God!! You just ruined the thing I was practicing the whole way home, but I'm soo happy! Monica Geller : Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen! Rachel Green : Ohh, you've waited soo long. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, Pheebs, quick question for ya. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdale's? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, it would totally depend on her coloring and... You got the job!!", "summary": "Rachel Green is trying to decide if a suit will look good on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdale's. Monica Geller has just been offered the job as head chef at Allesandro's after impressing the owner with her homemade sauce. Phoebe Buffay joins in on the conversation and offers her opinion on the suit."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes!!! Monica Geller : You got the job?! Why didn't you tell me? Rachel Green : Ohh, it's gonna be so great! I'm gonna get to help decide what we sell, I'm gonna have an office with walls and everything. I'm gonna have walls! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception. Monica Geller : Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering. Phoebe Buffay : But we've only had one job. Monica Geller : I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like it's snowballing, y'know? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! What are you saying? Monica Geller : I got offered the head chef job at Allesandro's. Phoebe Buffay : What?", "summary": "Rachel gets a job offer and keeps it a secret from her friends. Monica is struggling with catering jobs and feels overwhelmed. Phoebe lands a job at a wedding reception, but Monica needs to tell her something important."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's okay, 'cause y'know what? You don't really need me for the business. Phoebe Buffay : You're the cook! With out you it's just me driving up to people's houses with empty trays and asking for money! Monica Geller : All right. But umm, I-I-I'll pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van. Phoebe Buffay : For what? I can't believe this! I gotta get out of here. Monica Geller : Phoebe, wait a minute! Rachel Green : I'm an assistant buyer!! Joey Tribbiani : All right, so we'll get a little coffee, and get energized, and we'll head back out. Chandler Bing : Yeah, all right. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : So, we're having fun, right?", "summary": "Monica invests money in Phoebe's business but then decides to shut it down, leaving Phoebe without a means of making deliveries and in debt. Phoebe becomes upset and considers quitting, but Monica offers to pay her back the money she invested and gives her the van. However, Phoebe is still upset and feels betrayed by Monica's decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : We don't need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, we'll head down to the docks and see about that boat thing. Ross Geller : I'm kinda beat. Chandler Bing : Actually, me too. Joey Tribbiani : Are you serious?! Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Thank God! I'm exhausted! Gunther : So you guys want coffees? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but uh, I don't want to be up too late, so uh, I'll have a decaf. Ross Geller : Yeah, me too.", "summary": "A group of friends go out clubbing and end up heading to the docks, where they find a boat that they plan to explore. However, one of them (Ross) is tired and wants to go home early, while another (Chandler) also expresses exhaustion. Joey tries to keep the mood light by ordering decaf coffee for himself and Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud? Joey Tribbiani : I can't hear a word you're saying, my ears are ringing so bad. Ross Geller : I'm just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, y'know? I used them as mittens, I didn't want to touch a thing in that last place. Ross Geller : How sad are we? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? We're not sad, we're not sad, we're just not 21 anymore. Y'know? I'm 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Ross Geller : And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!", "summary": "The group of friends are at a loud bar and are experiencing ringing in their ears from the loud music. Chandler requests hot water with lemon to soothe his strained voice, while Joey is having trouble hearing anything due to the noise. Ross brings extra socks as mittens for comfort, and they all express frustration at no longer being 21 years old."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : We're 29, we're not women. Monica Geller : Ohh, here you are. Y'know, I'm-I'm glad you decided to hear me out. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm hearing. Monica Geller : I've been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Monica Geller : Or! A bakery delivery person. Phoebe Buffay : I wa-I wa-I wa... Monica Geller : Pizza?! Phoebe Buffay : Monica! Monica Geller : All right, I've got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, I'm getting the feeling that you don't want to deliver.", "summary": "Monica suggests several business ideas for Joey and Phoebe's van, including flower delivery, a bakery delivery service, and pizza delivery. However, Phoebe is not interested in any of these options."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Okay. I'm guessing that if you don't want to deliver, you probably don't want to pick stuff up either. Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Y'know what, let's do the catering business. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Are you sure? Monica Geller : Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Y'know what, it'd be, it'd be fun. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, let's plan the wedding reception. Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. Y'know what, I want you to take the chef job. Monica Geller : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. That's what you really want. Yeah, I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really don't want to be the reason I'm unhappy. Monica Geller : Thank you.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica discuss starting a catering business together, but Phoebe hesitates due to not wanting to be responsible for Monica's happiness. Monica convinces Phoebe to take on the chef job, and they plan the wedding reception together."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Besides, it might be kinda fun to form the new A-Team. Rachel Green : Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already? Mrs. Lynch : Oh my goodness! You haven't heard! Rachel Green : Heard what? Mrs. Lynch : Joanna passed away last night. Rachel Green : Oh my God! How?! Mrs. Lynch : Well, she was leaving work and she was hit by a cab. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it! Mrs. Lynch : I know! Rachel Green : Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh God.", "summary": "Joanna passes away after being hit by a cab while leaving work."}
-{"dialogues": "Mrs. Lynch : I didn't realize that she was so close. Rachel Green : Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before... it happened. Mrs. Lynch : No. Nothing. Imagine, if she had just stepped off that curb a few seconds later. Rachel Green : Yes-yes, just a few seconds and she'd still be with us-nothing about an assistant buyer? Mrs. Lynch : No, I'm sorry. I have to go. Sophie : Good morning! Rachel Green : Oh, Sophie, I guess you didn't hear about Joanna... Sophie : I sure did! Allesandro : I'm so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, it's like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much we're gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef. Monica Geller : Umm, I just wanna say, uh that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... Are you gonna kill me?", "summary": "Joanna died in an accident.\nMonica Geller joins the team as head chef and has big plans for the restaurant."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : I'm sorry I'm late, did I miss anything? Phoebe Buffay : Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth. Ross Geller : 15? Your personal best! Phoebe Buffay : Where were you? Ross Geller : Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! How did you meet her? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, which museum? Phoebe Buffay : No, answer his.", "summary": "Ross is late to the conversation and misses Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth. Phoebe reveals that she met a girl on a train going to a museum upstate. Chandler asks how Ross met the girl he was on a date with."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so she'd have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy. Chandler Bing : Were you so late because you were burring this woman? Ross Geller : No, I'm getting back down 'cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but she's like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away. Chandler Bing : How can she be great if she's from Poughkeepsie? That joke would've killed in Albany. Joey Tribbiani : Done! I did it! Heh, who's stupid now? Chandler Bing : Hey, look at this! They're lighting the big Christmas tree tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, that paper's two weeks old. Chandler Bing : All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I can't believe I missed it. Rachel Green : Hey, y'know, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know it'll be Valentine's Day, then my birthday, then bang!-before you know it, they're lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! Y'know, I want a man!! I mean, it doesn't even have to be a big relationship, y'know, just like a fling would be great. Chandler Bing : Really?! I didn't think girls ever just wanted a fling.", "summary": "Ross is trying to impress a woman he met on a train by sitting near the door so she has to pass by him if she wants to switch cars. However, he reveals that she lives in Poughkeepsie, which Chandler jokes about. Joey makes a comment about an old newspaper, and Phoebe finds an old paper with a Christmas tree lighting event on it. Rachel expresses her desire for a romantic partner, especially around the holidays."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, believe me, it's been a long time since I've been flung. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? There's some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up? Rachel Green : Yeah! Wait a minute, it's been a long time that I've been single. How come you never offered this before? Chandler Bing : Well, I have a girlfriend, I'm-I'm happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy. Rachel Green : Okay! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I don't like guys with boring jobs. Chandler Bing : Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer? #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : What's wrong Mon? Monica Geller : Ohh, everybody at the restaurant still hates me.", "summary": "Rachel is excited to be single and hopes Chandler will set her up with someone. Chandler mentions he has a girlfriend but is happy and doesn't feel the need to try to fix Rachel up. Rachel expresses her preferences for potential partners, including no accountants or lawyers. Phoebe joins the conversation and Monica shares that everyone at a restaurant still hates her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this on my chef's hat. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, maybe they meant to write, 'Quiet, bitch.' Rachel Green : Hey, honey! What's the matter? Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa! Monica Geller : I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh! Monica Geller : I mean they're trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something I've been waiting for my whole life. Rachel Green : Well, wait a minute, you're the boss! Why don't you just yell at them? Or, fire them? Monica Geller : I would love too, but I can't! I mean I just can't, you know that I'm not good at confrontation. Chandler Bing : Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, who's boss.", "summary": "Monica Geller is dealing with a difficult situation at work where her coworkers are bullying her and making her feel unwelcome. She expresses her frustration to Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Green, who try to offer support and advice. Joey Tribbiani makes a comment that leads Monica to reflect on her inability to confront her tormentors, while Chandler Bing suggests a dramatic solution involving firing someone in front of everyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Mon! I'm not doing anything, why don't you fire me? Monica Geller : That's a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter? Joey Tribbiani : Good enough to get fired. Monica Geller : All right, you're hired! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials? Chandler Bing : Yes. Chandler Bing : I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? Og-ee-op, I'm not asking for me, I'm... I mean... No, I'm-I'm not gay, I'm not asking you out. I'm not-I'm not-I'm not gay! Drew : I didn't think you were gay. I do now. Chandler Bing : See my friend-my friend, Rachel, she wants to be set up. Drew : Ahh, I just got out of a big relationship, I'm not looking for any thing serious.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is hired as a waiter despite his lack of experience. Chandler Bing mentions that Orson Wells directs Burger King commercials. Chandler then tries to ask Drew out, but Drew reveals he recently got out of a relationship and isn't looking for anything serious."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know what, that might be okay even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel. Mike : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel? Chandler Bing : Oh, by the way, that is her full name. Mike : Oh wow! I'm free for her! Drew : Oh, wait a second! I didn't say I wasn't free! Mike : Hey, Chandler, why don't we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow? Drew : Hold on, y'know I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five? Chandler Bing : Oh well, that's uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure! Mike : Maybe, before the game we could enjoy some eight year old some small batch Basel Hadens. Chandler Bing : Well, I don't really know what that is, but let's!!", "summary": "Chandler and Mike discuss a potential fling with Rachel, while Drew enters the conversation with his own interest in Rachel. The group makes plans to talk further at a Ranger game the next day."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! You guys, I'm writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel! Rachel Green : Pheebs, that's great! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yay! Rachel Green : But y'know umm, Rachel doesn't rhyme with draddle. Phoebe Buffay : I know but it's so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name! Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole. Phoebe Buffay : All good, thanks. Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname that's easier to rhyme? Monica Geller : Didn't your dad used to call you Pumpkin?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is writing a holiday song for her friends and asks if they want to hear it. Joey Tribbiani eagerly agrees, while Rachel Green points out that Phoebe's song doesn't rhyme with her name. Phoebe becomes frustrated and suggests using a nickname like \"Pumpkin\" instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Pumpkin? Yeah. But did he ever call you like, Budolph? Chandler Bing : Hello, children! #ALL# : Hey! Chandler Bing : Have I got the 50 guys for you! Rachel Green : Really?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! They're buying me drinks! They're giving me stuff! Knicks tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! Where are the seats? Chandler Bing : Wherever! I've got like 20! Rachel Green : So, will I like any of these guys?", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel discuss a guy named Budolph, while Chandler interrupts with an unexpected revelation about a photo of Rachel. Joey joins in, asking for seats at a Knicks game."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I'm gonna uh, play the field just a little more. Rachel Green : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Guys are signing over their 401-K's to me? Phoebe Buffay : You work with robots!! Chandler Bing : Yes. Okay, there's this one guy, Patrick, I think you're gonna like him, he's really nice, he's funny, he's a swimmer. Rachel Green : Ohh, I like swimmer's bodies! Chandler Bing : Yes, and his father invented that magnetic strip on the back of credit cards. Rachel Green : Op, I like credit cards! Chandler Bing : See, I'm not bad at this fixing up thing, huh? Rachel Green : Well, so what does he do?", "summary": "Chandler plays the field and meets a guy named Patrick who is nice, funny, and a swimmer. Chandler's father invented the magnetic strip on credit cards."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, he works in the Fine Foods division. Rachel Green : Your company has a fine foods division? Chandler Bing : It's a big company, I don't-if you-I... Joey Tribbiani : Now, wait a second! You make food and robots? Phoebe Buffay : No! No, the robots just work for them. Monica Geller : All right, I'm gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that! Monica Geller : You want a problem? I'll give you a problem! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, what are you gonna do? You're gonna fire me? Monica Geller : You bet your ass, I'm gonna fire you! Thank you.", "summary": "Fine Foods division of a large company. Work/robot mix-up. Job/firing threat."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, wow! I should get going. I-I got a date tonight. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! With who? Ross Geller : You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I can't decide between the two of them. Y'know the one from Poughkeepsie, even though she's a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Y'know she's, well she's-she's just as pretty, I guess she's smart, she's not fun. Phoebe Buffay : If she's no fun, why do you want to date her at all? Ross Geller : Well, I-I want to give her another chance, y'know? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that was-if she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasn't kidding, she's not fun, she's stupid, and kind of a racist. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, man!", "summary": "Ross is conflicted about which of two girls he wants to date, one who lives far away but is pretty and fun, and another who lives closer by but is not as fun."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ooh, how was your first day working at the restaurant? Joey Tribbiani : Damn! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what happened to your fancy chef's jacket? Monica Geller : They baked it. I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna call a meeting tonight, I'm gonna fire you tonight. Joey Tribbiani : You got it! Oh-oh! Monica Geller : What are you doing?! Joey Tribbiani : It's still a tiny bit on fire there. Monica Geller : Thanks. I think you got it!", "summary": "Monica Geller fires Joey Tribbiani from his job at her restaurant after he accidentally sets his chef's jacket on fire during his first day of work."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Chandler!! You have the best taste in men! Chandler Bing : Well, like father, like son. Rachel Green : Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious. Chandler Bing : Really?! I-I thought you weren't looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling. Rachel Green : Well, y'know, possibly. You didn't tell him that, though? Right? Chandler Bing : Ummmmmmmm, no. Rachel Green : You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You don't tell the guy that! Chandler Bing : Why not?! I'd be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to get-oh I see. Rachel Green : Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first date-oh, he's so gonna get the wrong idea. Monica Geller : Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler discuss their recent dates and Chandler reveals that he inadvertently told one of Rachel's potential partners that she was looking for a casual relationship. Rachel is upset about this and worried that it will give the wrong impression to her date."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Listen uh, I'd prefer it if you didn't call me Joey. Since I don't know anyone here, I thought it'd be cool to try out a cool work nickname. A Waiter : Hey, dragon! Here's your tips from Monday and Tuesday. Joey Tribbiani : There's like-there's like 300 bucks in this one! The Waiter : Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers. Monica Geller : Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonight's specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bag-Why is nobody writing these down? The Waiter : Because we can remember them. Monica Geller : Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night? The Waiter : Well, sure, that too. Monica Geller : Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right here's the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere... The Waiter : Can't hear you!", "summary": "Joey tries out a new nickname, but the waiter continues to call him by his real name. The waiter brings Joey his tips from the previous days, and he is surprised at how much money he has earned. Monica wants to hear the specials for the night, but the waiter claims he can remember them. Monica accuses the waiter of making up fake specials, which he denies. She then shares her efforts to create a positive atmosphere in the restaurant for the past two weeks."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?! Joey Tribbiani : No ma'am. The Waiter : Hey! He has a name, it's Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. We did the hat right? Monica Geller : What the hell happened?! Joey Tribbiani : I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, \"Wow! It's been a long time since I had... 327 + 238 dollars!\" Monica Geller : Joey, we had a deal. That-that's why you're here! I've got to fire you! Joey Tribbiani : And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You don't fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and they'll start listening to all the nice things I've been saying about you. Monica Geller : What kinda things have you been saying? Joey Tribbiani : Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in. Phoebe Buffay : Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry...", "summary": "Monica Geller wants a positive atmosphere but has had it up to here with Joey Tribbiani's antics. She declares it will be her way or the highway and asks if anyone has a problem with that. Joey makes a mistake and tries to cover it up, leading Monica to threaten to fire him. Joey suggests he stay on as a way to gain their trust and convince them of Monica's greatness instead. Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay wishes the Chanukah-loving Chandler and Monica a happy holiday."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know, y'know what Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : What? Chandler Bing : I'm not Jewish, so... Phoebe Buffay : So! Ross doesn't really decorate his tree with floss, but you don't hear him complaining do you? God! Chandler Bing : Bad dream? Ross Geller : I wasn't sleeping. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebe's song about? Ross Geller : The one with the cat. I gotta go, I've got another date. Phoebe Buffay : So, did you pick one yet? Ross Geller : No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thought-it wasn't that funny. So I'm still torn.", "summary": "Ross is not upset about Ross's Christmas tree decorations, and Chandler reveals he is not Jewish. Phoebe sings a song about a cat, and Ross has a date."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well look, you don't really like the one from uptown and you're too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, you're done! Ross Geller : Y'know, you're right. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well I had a similar problem when I lived in Prague. Chandler Bing : Prague? Phoebe Buffay : There's sooo much you don't know. Rachel Green : Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship? Chandler Bing : I did! I absolutely did! Rachel Green : You idiot!! Chandler Bing : I'm sure you're right, but why? Rachel Green : You don't tell a guy that you're looking for a serious relationship! You don't tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!", "summary": "Phoebe helps Ross end relationships with two women he has been dating, one in Poughkeepsie and one in Uptown. Meanwhile, Rachel is upset after Chandler reveals that he told Patrick she was looking for a serious relationship, scaring him away."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, man. I'm sorry, I'm so-so sorry. Rachel Green : Y'know, you should never be allowed to talk to people! Chandler Bing : I know! I know! Rachel Green : Oh! See just I'm right back where I started! Aww, this sucks! Being alone, sucks! Chandler Bing : Well, y'know, you're-you're gonna meet somebody! You're a great catch! Y'know when I was telling all those guys about you, I didn't have to lie once. Rachel Green : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right? Rachel Green : No. Chandler Bing : Oh, it doesn't matter. Hey, y'know what, I've got two tickets to tonight's Rangers game, you wanna come with me? Rachel Green : Cute guys in little shorts? Sure.", "summary": "Rachel is upset about being alone and Chandler tries to make her feel better by telling her she's a great catch and he has tickets to a Rangers game."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, actually it's a hockey team, so it's angry Canadians with no teeth. Rachel Green : Well that sounds fun too. Chandler Bing : Have you ever been with a woman? Rachel Green : What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?! Chandler Bing : So there is no good time to ask that question. The Conductor : The next station is Poughkeepsie. Poughkeepsie! The Woman From Poughkeepsie : Ross? Ross! Wake up! Ross! Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!! Monica Geller : I need more swordfish. Can you get me some more swordfish? Kitchen Worker : I don't speak English. Monica Geller : You did a minute ago!", "summary": "Angry Canadians with no teeth play hockey. Chandler asks Rachel if she has ever been with a woman, causing her to become upset. The conductor announces the next station is Poughkeepsie. A woman from Poughkeepsie wakes Ross up repeatedly. Monica needs more swordfish but the kitchen worker does not speak English."}
-{"dialogues": "Kitchen Worker : Well, I don't know what to tell ya! Monica Geller : Fine! Monica Geller : Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, I'm cold! And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! The Waiter : You found that handle, did ya? Monica Geller : That's not funny. The Waiter : Well that's not true. Monica Geller : I'm a good person. And I'm a good chef, and I don't deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Y'know what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chef Geller! Y'know that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it! Monica Geller : You do? Joey Tribbiani : You bet I do! I just ah, wasn't listening then, that's all.", "summary": "Monica Geller gets covered in marinara sauce while working in the kitchen and tries to get someone to let her out. The Waiter teases her about finding the handle, but Monica insists she didn't. Joey Tribbiani joins the conversation and criticizes a speech Monica gave earlier, which she took offense to."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well if you want a problem? I'll give you a problem! Joey Tribbiani : What are you gonna do? You're gonna fire me? Monica Geller : You bet your ass I'm gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! All right! Anybody else got a problem? How 'bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now? The Waiter : No. Monica Geller : How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think it's funny now? The Waiter : No, it's really good. Monica Geller : Good! Now, take those salads to table 4, And you! Get the swordfish! And you! Get a haircut! The Conductor : Last stop, Montreal. This stop is Montreal. Ross Geller : What? Woman On Train : I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.", "summary": "Monica fires Joey from cooking in her kitchen after he makes a mess. Chuckles thinks it's funny, but Monica is not amused. The Waiter defends Chuckles' behavior. Monica gives orders to other customers and makes jokes about their appearance. Woman on train makes a bet with herself that Ross has beautiful eyes, which she wins after seeing him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Woman On Train : We're at my stop. But would you like to have coffee? Ross Geller : Are we really in Montreal?! Woman On Train : Yes we are. So, coffee? Ross Geller : Coffee sounds great. Wait, so, so you live in Montreal? Woman On Train : Oh, no. But it's just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia. Joey Tribbiani : Well I guess I should've thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller! Monica Geller : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Yep! Looks like it's gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year. Monica Geller : Enough!", "summary": "Ross and a woman he meets on a train have coffee together, despite being in Montreal. The woman reveals she doesn't live there but it's only a two-hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia. Meanwhile, Joey has a problem with Chef Geller and Monica is preparing for a lean Christmas at the Dragon house."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Lean-lean-lean! Phoebe Buffay : \"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap./Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap./Said all you need is to write them a song./They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along./No, don't sing along./Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah./Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross./And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy!/And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!\"/Happy holidays, everybody! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I can't believe my little brother is married! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh I know!! Phoebe Buffay : You guys, why didn't you tell me you were eloping? Frank Buffay Jr. : 'Cause it just sorta happened, y'know we were at the courthouse, we were having lunch... Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse? Frank Buffay Jr. : We were having lunch. Yeah and then all of the sudden we were like, \"Hey! Y'know, we're here, having lunch let's get married! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, a year and a half ago I didn't even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. Okay. Okay. Stop it, don't. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need? Frank Buffay Jr. : Uhh, yeah.", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr. surprises his sister Phoebe by eloping with his wife Monica, and Phoebe is shocked and didn't know about it until now."}
-{"dialogues": "Alice Knight : We've been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought we'd get a jump on things, y'know no one's getting any younger. Frank Buffay Jr. : See the thing is umm, we're not able to y'know, uh, conceive. Alice Knight : And we've tried everything, we've seen a bunch of doctors. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into. Phoebe Buffay : That's a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! Guess which job I got. Chandler Bing : I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Blue blazer back. He-he wants it back. Rachel Green : But you-you said black. Why would he want his blue blazer black?", "summary": "Alice and Frank are trying to conceive but have been unsuccessful after trying everything. They consider using a surrogate and ask Phoebe if she would be willing to carry their child."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, you-you know what I meant. Monica Geller : No, you messed it up. You're stupid. Chandler Bing : So what job did you get Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me. Rachel Green : Well, how can you be a tour guide, don't you have to be a dinosaur expert or something? Joey Tribbiani : No, not really. They give you all the information, it's uh, it's like memorizing a script. \"And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period. Chandler Bing : Great!! That's great! Ross Geller : Uh actually Joey, it's the Cretasous period. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic. Phoebe Buffay : Hey!!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Monica argue over a misunderstanding, while Joey gets a job as a tour guide at a museum despite not being a dinosaur expert. Ross corrects Joey's mistake about the geological period, and Phoebe interrupts to share something else."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married! #ALL# : Oh my God!! Phoebe Buffay : And! And, they're gonna have a baby! And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. Ross Geller : My God! Monica Geller : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah Joey Tribbiani : You're really thinking about having sex with your brother?! Phoebe Buffay : Ewww! And \"Oh no!\" It's-they just want me to be the surrogate. It's her-it's her egg and her sperm, and I'm-I'm just the oven, it's totally their bun. Joey Tribbiani : Huh.", "summary": "Married couple Frank Jr. and Alice want a baby, but Alice's eggs are no good, so they ask Phoebe to carry the baby in her uterus."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What did you tell them? Phoebe Buffay : Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? I'm gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give. Chandler Bing : You're gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station? Rachel Green : Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about. Monica Geller : Yeah, like you're gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant. Phoebe Buffay : I know! Ross Geller : Pheebs, you're talking about putting your body through an awful lot, I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and it's all for somebody else! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, what's your point? Ross Geller : Well, the stuff I just mentioned. Rachel Green : Wow! I don't know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a...keeper.", "summary": "Phoebe plans to give her friends a baby as a gift, but they have various objections and concerns about the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture. Joey Tribbiani : No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, we'll be supportive like crazy. #ALL# : Yeah. Monica Geller : We just want you to think it through. Rachel Green : Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody who's had a baby. Like your mom? Phoebe Buffay : My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did. Kathy : Umm, I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, sure, it's not mine anyway. It can with the pants. Kathy : Oh! Monica Geller : I am so jealous.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to make denim furniture but her friends are not supportive. Joey offers to be supportive if she decides to go through with it. Monica and Rachel suggest that Phoebe think things through before making a decision. Kathy expresses interest in taking the touchy (a small item) to work with her. Chandler jokes that he won't let anyone take his pants, but agrees that the touchy can come with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You guys are really right...there aren't you? Chandler Bing : Yes. Right where? Monica Geller : In the beginning where y'know it's all sex and talking and sex and talking and... Chandler Bing : Yeah, you-you gotta love the talking. Monica Geller : And the sex? Chandler Bing : All right, we haven't had sex yet. Okay, what's the big deal? Y'know? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level. Rachel Green : Oh, Chandler that is so nice. Ross Geller : That is really nice...lying! No way is that the reason! Rachel Green : Why? Just because you're not mature enough to understand something like that?! Chandler Bing : No, he's right, I'm totally lying.", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler discuss their relationship, with Chandler expressing a desire for it to progress from talking and sex to the next level. Meanwhile, Ross accuses Chandler of lying about his reasons for wanting their love to grow."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Then what is it? Chandler Bing : Well, Kathy's last boyfriend was Joey. Ross Geller : And you're afraid you won't be able to...fill his shoes. Chandler Bing : No, I'm afraid I won't be able to make love as well as him. Ross Geller : Yeah, I was going for the metaphor. Chandler Bing : Yes, and I was saying the actual words. Monica Geller : So big deal, so Joey's had a lot of girlfriends, it doesn't mean he's great in bed. Chandler Bing : We share a wall! So either he's great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot. Monica Geller : Sweetie, with you it's gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, 'cause you-you guys are in love. Chandler Bing : Yeah?", "summary": "Chandler fears he won't measure up to Joey's sexual prowess; Monica defends Joey's skills despite his many partners; Ross clarifies the metaphor; and Chandler expresses doubts about his own relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Just go for it Chandler. Monica Geller : Yeah, you should. Rachel Green : Yeah, you should, really. Monica Geller : Go on. Chandler Bing : All right, all right, I'll go sleep with my girlfriend. But I'm just doing it for you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period. Smart Kid : Isn't the Mastodon from the Pliocene Epic? Joey Tribbiani : Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, we have a large foot. Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. Everyone wave 'Hi' to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. Okay, moving right along. Come on. Phoebe Abbott : It's open! Come in!", "summary": "Ross Geller tries to convince Chandler to have sex with his girlfriend, while Monica and Rachel encourage him. Meanwhile, Joey talks loudly in a museum, causing a disturbance, and Phoebe opens the door to let people in."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Phoebe Abbott : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm late. Phoebe Abbott : Oh, that's okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! You really go all out when you're expecting company. Phoebe Abbott : No, I was working on my pottery. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didn't know that you did...pot. Phoebe Abbott : Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, erotiery! Phoebe Abbott : Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Y'know...", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay arrives late and discovers that Phoebe Abbott has been working on pottery, specifically nudes, which combines her passions for pottery and erotica. The two discuss this topic in person."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Abbott : I really don't think it's a very good idea, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Phoebe Abbott : Well, because you'd be giving up a baby, and I-I really don't-I don't know if there's anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Don't-don't hurt the puppy. Phoebe Abbott : No-no-no, the-the puppy's yours. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I get a puppy!! Phoebe Abbott : Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Phoebe Abbott : I realise I don't have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, uhh... Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, it's very important.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Phoebe Abbott have a conversation about giving up a baby, with Phoebe Buffay initially expressing interest but later understanding and empathizing with Phoebe Abbott's pain."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Abbott : I mean, I know what I'm talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. I really shouldn't have given you the puppy first. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, do you mind sitting there. I'm-I'm saving this for my friend Ross. Tour Guide : You mean Dr. Geller? Joey Tribbiani : Doctor? Wow! I didn't know he had a nickname. Tour Guide : Oh, he won't sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there, and only the people in the blue blazers sit here. Joey Tribbiani : Well, how-how come? Tour Guide : That's just the way it is. Joey Tribbiani : That's crazy.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Phoebe Abbott discuss giving up babies, with Phoebe Buffay expressing regret over giving up a puppy and Phoebe Abbott emphasizing the difficulty of giving up children. Joey Tribbiani enters the conversation and mentions saving something for his friend Ross, before becoming confused about the seating arrangements in the area."}
-{"dialogues": "Tour Guide : Maybe it's crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now... Peter! Hey, Peter! It's me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin' which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! See, he pretend he don't even here me! Joey Tribbiani : I-I think everybody's pretending they don't hear you. Anyway, look, I don't know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, I'm telling you, he will sit in it! Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat. Ross Geller : That's okay, I'm cool over here. I'll catch up with you later, Joey. Tour Guide : Op, this is saved. Gift shop. Ross Geller : Hey, uh, I'm really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today. Joey Tribbiani : It's no big deal. Hey, y'know, you do what you gotta do. Right? Ross Geller : But hey, it's not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together. Joey Tribbiani : Whatever. Ross Geller : It's like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right? Monica Geller : I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are at a museum, where they run into an old classmate, Rhonda. Rhonda recognizes Ross but pretends not to hear him. Meanwhile, Monica joins them and reveals that she eats alone in the alley because everyone hates her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look, Ross, really it's-it's no big deal. Y'know you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we can't be friends at work, then so be it. Y'know, hey I understand. Y'know? Hey, when I'm in a play and you're in the audience, I don't talk to you, right? So it's y'know, it's uh, it's cool. I'll see you tomorrow. Rachel Green : Yeah, when we're in the audience he doesn't talk to us, but he does wave. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, y'know what, I think it's time for puppy to go out again. Come on, let's go to the balcony. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, the street. Come on, let's go to the street. Ooh, listen, don't go onto the balcony until after I get back. Monica Geller : So, did you do it? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes, we had the sex.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a disagreement about their relationship at work, but Ross understanding. Phoebe sings to Carl, while Monica and Chandler go on a date."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Uh-oh, it was bad? Chandler Bing : It was fine, y'know? But she didn't agree with me as strongly as she agreed with Joey. She was more like, \"I see you point, I'm all right with it.\" Monica Geller : Well, it was the first time. Y'know, there's not always a lot of agreement the first time. Rachel Green : Yeah, not girls anyway, guys agree like that. Chandler Bing : Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, y'know, I know where everything goes, it's always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, \"My God! Somebody's killing her in there!\" Monica Geller : All right, I'm gonna show you something a lot of guys don't know. Rach, give me that pad, please? All right. Now... Chandler Bing : Look, you don't have to draw an actual wo-whoa! She's hot! Monica Geller : Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. You got one, two three, four , five, six, and seven! Chandler Bing : There are seven?! Rachel Green : Let me see that. Oh, yeah.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang discusses sexual techniques and erogenous zones in a humorous conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's one? Monica Geller : It's kind of an important one! Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know-y'know what, I was looking at it upside down. Rachel Green : Well, y'know, sometimes that helps. Monica Geller : Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp. Chandler Bing : That-that's bad? Rachel Green : Well if you go to Disneyland, you don't spend the whole day on the Materhorn. Chandler Bing : Well you might if it were anything like 7! Monica Geller : All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit 'em all, and you mix 'em up. You gotta keep them on their toes. Rachel Green : Oo, toes!! Well, for some people.", "summary": "Monica Geller explains that when hitting a golf ball, it's important to take your time and hit each shot with a mix of different speeds and directions to keep the opponent on their toes. Chandler Bing misunderstands and thinks she is referring to something else entirely. Rachel Green adds her two cents about spending time at Disneyland, but the conversation quickly returns to golf."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, ...7.....7...7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7...! Older Scientist : Dr. Geller, there's a seat over here. Ross Geller : Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but I'm having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. I'm having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if he'll sit with me. Joey Tribbiani : I will sit with you Dr. Geller. Ross Geller : Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and y'know what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, \"My God why?!\" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. I'm Ross! I'm divorced, and I have a kid! Joey Tribbiani : I'm Joey! I'm an actor! I don't know squat about dinosaurs! Another Tour Guide : I'm Ted, and I just moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me. Ross Geller : All right, there you go! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you hang in there Teddy! Older Scientist : I'm Andrew, and I didn't pay for this pear.", "summary": "Ross Geller expresses his frustration with the division between people in white coats and blue blazers at their workplace, a museum of natural history. He suggests they shed their coats to get to know each other better. Joey Tribbiani joins the conversation, revealing he is an actor who doesn't know much about dinosaurs. Another tour guide, Ted, shares that he recently moved to New York and finds it intimidating."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, good-good for you. Tour Guide : I'm Rhonda, and these aren't real! Ross Geller : Wow, Rhonda. Another Scientist : I'm Scott. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay, Scott! Another Scientist : And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die. Phoebe Buffay : My mom's gonna be here any minute. I can't do this, I can't give him up. Yes-no, I can. I don't want to. But I can. No. Rachel Green : Oo, I can't watch this, it's like Sophie's Choice. Monica Geller : Y'know, I never saw that. Rachel Green : Ooh, it was only okay.", "summary": "Rhonda and Scott are scientists who create fake objects, while Ross and Phoebe have a conversation about giving up something important. Meanwhile, Monica doesn't want to watch a movie with Rachel because she found it unsatisfying."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I can't do this. My mom was right. If I can't-if I can't give him up, then there's no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give 'em-a kidney! Alice Knight : Hi! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi! Alice Knight : Uhh, we were just in the neighbourhood, so... Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, so we just thought we'd stop by and let you know there's still no pressure. Alice Knight : None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, we're just gonna be right over there having coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, who's this little guy?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ooh! Umm! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, he's so cute, he reminds me of my old dog, Tumour.", "summary": "Phoebe can't give up her boyfriend, but she also can't give up her baby. She offers to give Frank a kidney instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Alice Knight : You are so precious, I could just take you home. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, why don't you? Frank Buffay Jr. : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, thanks. Monica Geller : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm really okay with this. Y'know why? 'Cause look at them, and I made that, so... I know it's gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, it's gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. I wanna carry your baby. Alice Knight : Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You don't know what this means to us! Oh! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh my God, I think I'm gonna cry! Monica Geller : It's gonna be so great.", "summary": "Alice and Phoebe find out they are having a baby together and Alice wants to keep it while Phoebe is unsure. Frank expresses his gratitude for their decision, Monica is confused, and Alice and Phoebe exchange emotional words."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Abbott : Hi! What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided I'm gonna carry their baby. Phoebe Abbott : But Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this. Phoebe Abbott : Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but it's just-that was my puppy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Monica Geller : Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone? Rachel Green : It depends on who asked. Monica Geller : What if I asked? Rachel Green : Oh, Mon, sure.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay decides to carry her friends' baby after they become happy with the puppy she gave them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yes. You're not asking are you? Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : Yes! Totally! Kathy : Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you! Rachel Green : What the hell is that?!! What the hell is that? Is that you? Ohhhhhhh! Monica Geller : Boy, you are really not a morning person. Rachel Green : BACK OFF!!! Get up! Get up! Get up! God damn it! Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up!! Rachel Green : What is that noise? Chandler Bing : You!", "summary": "Rachel makes a loud noise in the morning, Monica and Kathy react."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It's the chick! She's...going through some changes. Monica Geller : What kind of changes? Chandler Bing : Well the vet seems to think that's she's becoming a rooster. We're getting a second opinion. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning? Rachel Green : Well, I've been up since six. Thanks to somebody's dumb-ass rooster. Phoebe Buffay : You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldn't be living in an apartment. Rachel Green : Yeah! Especially not with all of these knives and cookbooks around... Phoebe Buffay : All right. I'm gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if I'm ready to have Frank and Alice's embryo transferred into my uterus. Ross Geller : Now, how will they know if you're ready?", "summary": "The gang discovers that Monica's cat is undergoing gender confirmation surgery to become a rooster. They seek a second opinion, while Rachel deals with the aftermath of being awoken by a neighbor's rooster at 6am. Phoebe decides to visit a fertility doctor to see if she is ready to carry Frank and Alice's embryo, while Ross questions how they will know if she is ready."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, they're just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick. Chandler Bing : Oh, I can uh, check that for ya. Phoebe Buffay : Okay everyone, think thick. #ALL# : Good-bye! Good luck! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Wish me luck! Monica Geller : Oh, good luck. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck. And I'm still right! Monica Geller : That is sooo not true! Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : She's mad because I know today's her laundry day and that means she's wearing her old lady underpants.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay undergoes a medical examination to check the thickness of her endometrial layer. Chandler Bing offers to help, while Joey Tribbiani makes inappropriate comments about Monica Geller's laundry day and Rachel Green teases him about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I can check that for ya. Monica Geller : I just-I can't believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you. Chandler Bing : Well... we-we do. You can only eat Tic Tacks in even numbers. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what's that about? Chandler Bing : And you... Ross, I believe, if you check Rachel's bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there. Ross Geller : You're good. These are not. Rachel Green : I'm so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop. Monica Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag? Ross Geller : Five.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang discovers that Rachel has been eating Tic Tacs in even numbers and finds a half-eaten box of cookies in her bag."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag. Rachel Green : How many guesses do you get? Joey Tribbiani : Six. Ross Geller : Challenge extended. Monica Geller : Deal! Ross Geller : Challenge excepted. Joey Tribbiani : All right, we'll start with...apples. Ross Geller : We'll be starting with apples. Chandler Bing : Stop that now! Chandler Bing : Yes!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel bet Joey and Chandler $10 they can name every item in a bag. They start with \"apples\" but Chandler interrupts them."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Uhh, tortilla chips, yogurt. Chandler Bing : Diet soda. Ross Geller : Yes. Yes. Yes. Chandler Bing : Orange juice. Rachel Green : No! There's no orange juice in there! We win!! Monica Geller : Ha-ha! Ross Geller : They have another guess. Rachel Green : Okay, well, we won that one. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, the last thing... Chandler Bing : Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh!", "summary": "Plot Summary: \nThe group is discussing different beverages and snacks, with Joey suggesting tortilla chips and yogurt. Chandler suggests diet soda, while Ross agrees. Rachel objects to orange juice being in the fridge, leading to a debate about what else might be inside. Monica joins in on the fun, and the group continues to make jokes and guesses about the contents of the fridge."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No-no, not for like another two weeks. Chandler Bing : I got it! Scotch... tape. Ross Geller : How did you know she would buy scotch tape? Chandler Bing : Well, we used there's up last night making scary faces. Monica Geller : Aww, man! Chandler Bing : All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it. Monica Geller : That does not mean you know us better, I-I want a rematch. Rachel Green : Yeah, and none of these stupid grocery questions, real personal questions. Monica Geller : Yeah! And the winner gets a hundred bucks. Joey Tribbiani : Serious?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel challenge Chandler and Joey to a game of \"Stupid Grocery Questions,\" with the loser paying the winner $10. Chandler wins and Monica demands a rematch, with Rachel insisting on asking more personal questions this time."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Are you scared? Joey Tribbiani : No! All right, who-who makes up the questions? Monica Geller : Ross will do it. Ross Geller : Oh sure, \"Ross will do it!\" It's not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own. Rachel Green : Fine! We'll ask Phoebe. Ross Geller : No-no-no, I-I wanna play. Dr. Zane : It looks like your uterus is ready for implantation. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I knew it! I knew it! I felt really thick this morning. Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, okay, so what's now-go get, go get the eggs, put 'em in there. Dr. Zane : Okay, it'll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.", "summary": "Monica and Joey are talking about who will come up with questions for a game. Ross volunteers to do it, but he seems uninterested. Rachel agrees to ask Phoebe instead. Dr. Zane announces that Phoebe's uterus is ready for implantation, and Phoebe reacts excitedly. Frank suggests getting the eggs to prepare them for implantation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Embryossss? As in, \"More than one?\" Dr. Zane : Um-hmm, five actually. Phoebe Buffay : Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, a hospital or a big box under the stairs? Dr. Zane : We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach. Phoebe Buffay : That's it! 25 percent? That means that's it's like 75 percent chance of no baby at all! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, y'know I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there? Alice Knight : Sweety, now, she's a woman, not a gumball machine. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well y'know what, don't worry you guys, 'cause I'm-I'm gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right. Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right. Alice Knight : Umm, it costs $16,000 each time you do this. So, umm, we're kinda using all the money we have to do it just this one time.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to get pregnant with Embryossss (more than one), but Dr. Zane says they only do 5 at a time for a 25% chance of at least one attaching. Phoebe is not happy about this and decides to try multiple times until she gets it right, despite the cost ($16,000 each time)."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Whoa!! That-okay, that's a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. So, well okay, so is there-is maybe is there something that I can do y'know just to like help make sure I get pregnant? Dr. Zane : No, I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! You guys really don't know anything! Frank Buffay Jr. : I know! Why don't you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school. Monica Geller : You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant? Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Rachel Green : I know! I know, it's such a huge, life-altering thing. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Ross Geller : The test is ready. #ALL# : Yeah! Yes!", "summary": "Phoebe wants to get pregnant but the doctor says it's not possible without medical help. Phoebe and her friends try unconventional methods to increase their chances of getting pregnant, including drinking heavily. Meanwhile, Ross reveals that he has completed the paternity test and is ready to share the results with Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and It's All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. Okay, somebody call it this time. #ALL# : Oh yeah! Rachel Green : Tails! Ross Geller : It's heads. Gentlemen, pick your category. Chandler Bing : Fears and Pet Peeves. Ross Geller : What is Monica's biggest pet peeve? Joey Tribbiani : Animals dressed as humans. Ross Geller : That's correct. Ladies? Monica Geller : Same category? Ross Geller : According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?", "summary": "Fears and Pet Peeves: Ross answers that Monica's biggest pet peeve is when people don't clean up after their pets. Chandler reveals that he is scared of animals dressed as humans.\nAncient History: None discussed.\nLiterature: None discussed.\nIt's All Relative: None discussed."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance! Ross Geller : That is correct. Joey Tribbiani : The Irish gig guy?! Chandler Bing : His legs flail about as if independent of his body! Ross Geller : Gentlemen, you're pick. Joey Tribbiani : It's All Relative. Ross Geller : Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother! Joey Tribbiani : Nana? Chandler Bing : She has a real name. Joey Tribbiani : Althea!", "summary": "Monica and Ross's grandmother dies, and they invite Joey and Chandler to her funeral."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Althea?! What are you doing?! Joey Tribbiani : I took a shot. Chandler Bing : You're shooting with Althea?! Ross Geller : Althea is correct. Chandler Bing : Nice shooting! Rachel Green : We'll take Literature!! Ross Geller : Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment. What name appears on the address label? Rachel Green : Chandler gets it! It's Chandler Bing! Monica Geller : No!! Ross Geller : I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to Chinandolor Bong.", "summary": "Chandler takes a shot and Shoots with Althea, while Joey compliments him. Ross corrects Althea's name, and Rachel suggests taking Literature. Each week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment, with Chandler getting the address label wrong."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I knew that! Rachel! Use you're head! Chandler Bing : Actually, it's Miss Chinandolor Bong. Phoebe Buffay : Hello, tiny embryos. Well, I'm-I'm Phoebe Buffay, hi! I'm-I'm-I'm hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that we're doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, you've been there! Umm, y'know they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that I'll keep you safe and warm until you're ready to have them take you home, so... Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, I'm screaming, don't worry, that's what's supposed to happen. Dr. Zane : Ready? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Good luck. Ross Geller : All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category. Rachel Green : It's All Relative!! Ross Geller : You don't have to shout everything. Rachel Green : I'm sorry! Ross Geller : Ooh. What is the name of Chandler's father's Las Vegas all-male burlesque?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are trying to get Phoebe ready for a fertility treatment, while Chandler tries to remember his father's burlesque show name in Las Vegas."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Viva Las Gaygas! Chandler Bing : Unfortunately that is correct. The Girls : Yes!! Ross Geller : All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. The Lightning Round! #ALL# : Ohhhh. Ross Geller : Thirty seconds, all the questions you can answer. Monica Geller : You guys are dead, I am so good at lighting rounds. Chandler Bing : I majored in lightning rounds. All right, we're gonna destroy you. Monica Geller : Huh, wanna bet? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far...", "summary": "Ross and Monica compete in a lightning round of questions, with Chandler trying to upstage them both."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How about we play for more money, say 150? Ross Geller : 150 dollars. Chandler Bing : Say 200? Ross Geller : 200 dollars. Monica Geller : You're doing it again. Ross Geller : Excuse me. Rachel Green : Monica, I don't want to lose 200 dollars. Monica Geller : We won't. 300? Rachel Green : Monica?! Monica Geller : I'm just trying to spice it up!", "summary": "Monica and Ross play a game for money, with Chandler joining in and offering more money. The stakes keep rising until they reach $300, with Rachel hesitant to lose that amount."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, so let's play for some pepper! Stop spending my money! Monica Geller : I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster? Rachel Green : Oooohh that's interesting. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, no way, that rooster's family! Rachel Green : Throw in the duck too! Joey Tribbiani : What do you have against the duck?! He doesn't make any noise! Rachel Green : Well, he gets the other one all riled up. Joey Tribbiani : Look, we are not gonna... Chandler Bing : All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds. Joey Tribbiani : Dah!!", "summary": "The group plays a game of \"Pepper\" and decides to use the stakes to negotiate with each other. Rachel suggests that if they win, they should get rid of Monica's noisy rooster, while Joey objects because he thinks it's part of the duck's family. Chandler tries to mediate the dispute."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : But if we win, we get your apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oooooh! Monica Geller : Deal! Rachel Green : Monica, betting the apartment, I don't know about this. Monica Geller : Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. Rachel Green : Why? Do you have the answers written on there? Monica Geller : No! Steady as a rock! Now, are you with me. Rachel Green : All right, let's do it. Monica Geller : Come on! Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "The group bets Monica's apartment on a game, with Monica confidently predicting the answers to every question. However, when Rachel starts to doubt Monica's abilities, Monica shows her hand and proves that she knows all the answers."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : All right, gentlemen, you're up first. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round begins-stop it -now. What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie? Joey Tribbiani : Big fat goalie. Ross Geller : Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie... Chandler Bing : Dangerous Liaisons. Ross Geller : Correct. Her actual favorite movie is... Joey Tribbiani : Weekend at Bernie's. Ross Geller : Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?", "summary": "Monica had a nickname as a field hockey goalie, Rachel's favorite movie is \"Dangerous Liaisons,\" but she secretly loves \"Weekend at Bernie's.\" Additionally, Monica got a pencil stuck in her body when she was 14 years old."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh! Ross Geller : Eww! No!! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there? Joey Tribbiani : Everyday use. Chandler Bing : Fancy. Joey Tribbiani : Guest. Chandler Bing : Fancy guest. Ross Geller : Two seconds... Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, 11! Ross Geller : 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. All right, that's 4 for the guys. Ladies, you're up. Rachel Green : All right!", "summary": "The group categorizes towels and debates the number of categories."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Come on! Ross Geller : 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins...now! What is Joey's favorite food? Monica Geller : Sandwiches! Ross Geller : Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast? Rachel Green : 14? Ross Geller : No, 19. Chandler Bing : Thanks man. Ross Geller : Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was? Monica Geller : Maurice. Ross Geller : Correct, his profession was?", "summary": "Joey's favorite food is sandwiches, Chandler was 19 when he first touched a girl's breast, Joey had an imaginary childhood friend named Maurice, and Chandler's profession was not mentioned."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Space cowboy! Ross Geller : Correct! What is Chandler Bing's job? Rachel Green : Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers. Monica Geller : And processing. Rachel Green : He carries a briefcase. Ross Geller : 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game. Monica Geller : It's umm, it has something to do with transponding. Rachel Green : Oh-oh-oh, he's a transponce-transpondster! Monica Geller : That's not even a word! I can get this! I can get this! Monica Geller : NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Chandler's job, which involves numbers and processing. Monica tries to guess what it is, but fails. Chandler carries a briefcase and works as a transponce-transpondster."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God. Chandler Bing : YEAH!!! YES!!! Joey Tribbiani : I call Monica's room! Chandler Bing : You can't just call Monica's room. Joey Tribbiani : Sure I can, standard shotgun rules, I'm sight of the room and I called it. Monica Geller : Man, I feel like I'm coming down with something. Joey Tribbiani : What? Monica Geller : Yeah. I bet you can't guess what color my tonsils are? I'll bet the apartment! Chandler Bing : Oh, I would never bet this apartment. It's too nice. Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "Monica gets sick and Joey tries to call her room; Chandler opposes; Monica bets the apartment on the color of her tonsils; Phoebe joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-ooh Pheebs, are they in there? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, yeah, uh-huh, they're implanted. Monica Geller : How do you feel? Phoebe Buffay : Well, freaked. 'Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alice's like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but I bet it works. Monica Geller : Really?! How much?! Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'm gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow! You can tell this soon. Phoebe Buffay : Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my body's always been a little faster than Western medicine.", "summary": "Frank and Alice are trying to get pregnant through an unconventional method, while Phoebe feels anxious about being their surrogate due to poor odds. Chandler is optimistic about the process, but Monica wants to know how much it will cost. Phoebe takes a pregnancy test and is eager to find out if she is pregnant."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God! I can't believe you guys are actually think you're moving in here! Chandler Bing : Well believe it baby! Rachel Green : Well I-I-I'm not moving. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : No, it was a stupid bet! We were just playing a game! Joey Tribbiani : You can't just ignore the bet! It's a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet! Monica Geller : Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we would've made them get rid of the birds. Right? Rachel Green : Noooo. Monica Geller : All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, it's all your fault. Rachel Green : What?!", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler bet that she can't move into Joey's apartment, but Rachel reneges on the deal after realizing she doesn't want to move. Monica sides with Joey and insists they must follow through on the bet."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chinadolor Bong, come on, we steal that TV Guide every week! Chandler Bing : I knew it! Rachel Green : I don't care, I'm not going anywhere. Chandler Bing : Cool, girl roommate. Monica Geller : Well? Phoebe Buffay : Nope, not knocked up yet. Monica Geller : It's only been a couple of hours, so just give it some time. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, I'm gonna do whatever I can to help this so, I'm just gonna y'know, lie it your chair, Y'know? Yeah, good, I'm let gravity y'know, do its jobs. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand with this box? Rachel Green : No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girl's apartment! That is a boy's apartment, it's dirty and it smells. This is pretty. It's-it's so pretty! And look, and it's-it's purple! And I'm telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler steal a TV Guide every week. Phoebe isn't pregnant yet. Monica and Rachel move to a new apartment, but Rachel refuses to go."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'll take care of it. Rachel Green : That's right! You do what the hand says! Rachel Green : How did it go? Monica Geller : I lost our mattresses. Phoebe Buffay : \"Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will buy you some Adidas.\" Monica Geller : Hey! Alice Knight : Hi! Alice Knight : Hi, Phoebe! We were just at the drugstore and we got you a little present. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oh. Frank Buffay Jr. : Umm, it's a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.", "summary": "Monica loses their mattresses, Rachel reminds her to do what the hand says, Phoebe talks to an unborn fetus, Alice gives Monica a gift, and Frank Jr. brings a strange present."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, don't mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop. Alice Knight : So umm, you feel like taking a test? There's only one question. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, y'know just remember that it's still really early, okay so, if it says that I'm not pregnant, that doesn't mean that I'm not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I don't go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this. Alice Knight : Okay. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Great. Rachel Green : Y'know what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes! Rachel Green : That is not true. She did! She forced me! Monica Geller : Hey, we would still be living here if hadn't gotten the question wrong!", "summary": "The group takes a pregnancy test together, with Phoebe hesitant to get her hopes up. Alice and Frank are supportive, while Monica and Joey tease Rachel for getting upset. The conversation ends with the group still waiting for the results of the test."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well it stupid, unfair question! Ross Geller : Don't blame the questions! Chandler Bing : Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us! Rachel Green : Will you stop calling it your apartment! Joey Tribbiani : But it is our apartment! Rachel Green : No it's not! Phoebe Buffay : You guys! You guys! You're gonna have a baby! They're gonna have a baby! Frank Buffay Jr. : MY SISTER'S GONNA HAVE MY BABY!!!!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but this can't be good for the baby. #ALL# : Oh!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over who gets to keep their apartment, while Chandler tries to quiet them down. Joey insists it's his apartment, but Phoebe reveals that they're going to have a baby. Frank Jr. becomes upset about his sister having his baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I can't find garbage bags! Rachel Green : Oh, I think I saw some in here. Monica Geller : What is it?! Rachel Green : I don't know! But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, it'll die. Monica Geller : I can't believe we're living here! Chandler Bing : What?! What-what is it?! Joey Tribbiani : Did you see the size of the closets?! Chandler Bing : I can't believe we live here! Chandler Bing : Awwwww!! Awwwwwww!!! Chandler Bing : Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel can't find garbage bags, and Monica is frustrated about living in their new apartment. Chandler enters and finds them searching for something, and he expresses his excitement about living in the apartment, especially since it has big closets. Joey joins in and agrees that the closets are impressive. Chandler then reveals that he is dating the star of the play, and he's excited to have sex with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : People can hear you. Chandler Bing : I know!! Chandler Bing : Wow! She looks great. Doesn't she? Ross Geller : Yeah. Kathy's Co-Star : Hi! Kathy : Hi! Ross Geller : That is one good looking man! Chandler Bing : Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?! Kathy's Co-Star : Sooo, you've been doing this long? Kathy : No, you're my first. Put the money on the table.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are at a coffee shop when they notice a woman, Kathy, who they find attractive. They make comments about her appearance and Chandler becomes distracted by trying to see her abs through her overcoat. Kathy's co-star joins them and they begin talking about their acting careers."}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy's Co-Star : Oh, yeah! Ooh, that's nice. Ross Geller : Dude! Kathy's Co-Star : Is that an expensive blouse? Kathy : If you want it to be. Ross Geller : Here's your girlfriend's button. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school? Monica Geller : Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's just that maternity clothes are so expensive. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just......throw your purses at it. Rachel Green : Bloomingdale's eliminated my department.", "summary": "Kathy's co-star compliments Kathy's blouse, prompting Ross to tease her about its price. Phoebe asks Monica if she still has her old high school clothes, and Monica mentions that maternity clothes are expensive. Rachel mentions that Bloomingdale's eliminated her department."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, are you out of a job? Rachel Green : No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down! Phoebe Buffay : Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : That sounds great! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You can't eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended. Joey Tribbiani : There's gravy? Monica Geller : If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, that's your department now. Monica Geller : What are you doing?", "summary": "Rachel gets demoted from her job and is now personal shopping for wealthy clients, while Phoebe thinks it's a great opportunity and Joey wants to try the gravy. Monica is dealing with the stress of having to keep the new apartment stocked and clean for guests."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I think I left a donut up here. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! How was Kathy's play? Ross Geller : Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin' guy. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it! Phoebe Buffay : That's a good idea for a business! Chandler Bing : I'm totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then they're gonna go to their cast parties and he's gonna try to undermine me. Y'know it'll be like, \"So where's your boyfriend, what's-his-name, Chester?\" And she'll go, \"No-no-no, it's Chandler.\" And he'll go, \"Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!\" Joey Tribbiani : That-that is a good trick.", "summary": "Kathy performs a play that involves simulating sex on stage, leading to Chandler's worst nightmare coming true as he fears being undermined at the cast parties."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right, look, look, what am I gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, look they're actors. They're there to do a job, just 'cause they work together, doesn't mean they're gonna get together. I mean just 'cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesn't mean it's gonna happen with them. Ross Geller : Oh-oh, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. Joey Tribbiani : Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood. Ross Geller : They're not a couple! Phoebe Buffay : Oh-okay, I get the game now. Joey Tribbiani : Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot? Ross Geller : Oh yeah!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang discusses actors who have worked together in movies and whether or not they will get together romantically. They name several famous couples, including Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, and Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood. Ross Geller shares that when the actors were on stage together, it was \"really hot.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well okay, so then you're fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as it's hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. It's when the heat goes away, that's when you're in trouble. Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Look, you guys have been to every play I've ever been in, have I ever had chemistry on stage? Ross Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : Noooo!! Chandler Bing : So uh, man, are you gonna go to the play with me tonight? Ross Geller : Y'know what, I don't know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know but... Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no, I'm there. Monica Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Two actors discuss the concept of \"sexual tension\" on stage and how it relates to their own relationships. Joey Tribbiani argues that when actors are intimate on stage, the sexual tension between them is gone, but when they're not, it can be problematic. Chandler Bing invites Ross Geller to a play he's in, despite Ross's discomfort with seeing his girlfriend (Joey) acting sexually with another actor. Monica Geller joins the conversation and adds her opinion."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mon! Want some pancakes? Monica Geller : You made pancakes? Joey Tribbiani : Yep! Grab a plate. Monica Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, stay right there. Gettin' closer. Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, but don't worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which I'm fairly certain are the same thing. Joey Tribbiani : Listen also we're uh, we're watching the game here Saturday night, if people want to come over. Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : Oh, I was thinking about having people over for the game. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, who's playing?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses food options, including pancakes made by Joey, and Chandler offers various breakfast alternatives. They also invite people over for a Saturday night game viewing."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : The players. Ross Geller : Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess. Monica Geller : Please, it's a relief is what it is, is what it is. Joey Tribbiani : All right Pheebs, stick out your plate! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Rachel Green : Monica, I'm quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didn't even buy it! I'm telling you I'm quitting! That's it! I'm talking to my boss right now! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you. Stephen Waltham : In a moment, please, I'm in the middle of a task. And you have a customer. Rachel Green : Hi! Joshua Burgin : Hi, I'm Joshua. Rachel Green : Hi, I'm Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Rachel's frustration with her job as a saleswoman at Bloomingdale's. She has just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong and did not get paid for it. Monica tries to comfort her, while Joey offers to help Rachel quit her job by sticking out his plate. Meanwhile, Mr. Waltham is busy with a task and can't talk to Rachel right away."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife... Rachel Green : Oh, I'm so sorry. Joshua Burgin : Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt. Rachel Green : Well, at least that's a great suit. Joshua Burgin : Yeah, but it wasn't much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. So I need everything down to underwear, so if you're willing, I'm all yours. Rachel Green : Okay. Stephen Waltham : Rachel, you needed to speak to me? Rachel Green : No-no, that wasn't me! Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. The selection of underwear we carry. Rachel Green : Oh-oh, sorry, it's this way, it's this way. Joshua Burgin : It's this way? Sorry.", "summary": "Joshua needs a new wardrobe after his ex-wife burned all of his clothes. He meets Rachel, who offers to help him shop for new underwear and clothing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'm right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now there's no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means! Ross Geller : All right, let's not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them. Chandler Bing : Come on, it was like cousins having sex up there! Ross Geller : Here she comes. Don't say a word, okay? Just be cool, don't be...y'know you. Kathy : Hey you guys! Ross Geller : Hey! Kathy : Hi! Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight? Ross Geller : Oh, absolutely! Kathy : Wasn't Nick funny when he couldn't get his match lit? Kathy : It's a good play, isn't it?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have no chemistry after their break. Ross tries to downplay it, while Chandler insists there was none in the first place."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, I loved the play. You were great, and Nick ditto. Clearly you're having sex with him. Ross Geller : Okay, I... Kathy : Clearly, I'm having sex with him? Chandler Bing : Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two! Kathy : Okay, so let me just get this straight. You're accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance? Chandler Bing : Y'know, I-I could see how this could happen, y'know you're up there every night, you're naked, touching, kissing. Kathy : Acting! Chandler, this is my job! I'm-I'm playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?! Chandler Bing : Well, you can understand, given how we started. Kathy : Oh, wow. I can't believe you're throwing that in my face. Chandler Bing : Well, that is what happened, and I don't even see you denying this!", "summary": "Chandler accuses Kathy of cheating on him during a play performance, insulting her acting skills. Kathy defends herself, explaining it's her job to act and she's not having an affair with anyone. Chandler brings up their past, causing tension between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Kathy : I'll tell you what, Chandler, why don't you call me when you grow up! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, don't expect that to happen anytime soon! Rachel Green : I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel has a new doll. Rachel Green : Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh. Ross Geller : Uh, hello! Rachel Green : Hi-e!! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, what do I smell? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, it smells good. Monica Geller : Fresh cookies! Hot from the oven!", "summary": "Rachel has a new doll and wishes it was a real person she could play with. Chandler makes fun of her, but Joshua (a man who came over to the apartment) impresses Rachel with his beautiful name. Meanwhile, Monica bakes cookies and shares them with the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Monica Geller : Please, have some! Ross Geller : Oh, yumm! Monica Geller : Yeah, I've just been fiddling around in here making delicious treats for everyone. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! The new Playboy! Monica Geller : Yeah, it's just something I picked up. Ross Geller : Cookies and porn, you're the best mom ever!! Phoebe Buffay : What? What? Rachel Green : Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there. Ross Geller : Yeah, how does Jason look in a v-neck?", "summary": "Ross and Monica are baking cookies, while Joey finds and shows Phoebe a new issue of Playboy. Ross compliments Monica on her cooking and calls her the \"best mom ever.\" Phoebe is confused by a previous conversation mentioning v-necks. Rachel joins in and mentions something Josh said about the same topic."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It's Joshua. Ross Geller : Oh, whatever. Monica Geller : Wait! Wait! This isn't take-out! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I hate to eat and run, but... Monica Geller : No, wait, please don't go! I've got porn for you too! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I don't need it. Monica Geller : People are supposed to wanna hang out here! Rachel Green : Why? Honey, what is the big deal? Monica Geller : I'm the hostess! Not those guys! I'm always the hostess! I mean, I was always the hostess, I mean even when I was little, I mean the girls brought their dollies to my tea party, I-I served the best air. Phoebe Buffay : Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross argue over Joshua, while Monica tries to keep the guests entertained. Phoebe arrives with her own food offering, but Monica insists on hosting and serving everyone. The conversation turns to past tea parties and the importance of being the hostess."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : 'Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But I'm-I'm done now. They've suffered enough. Phoebe Buffay : If you wanted to punish them, you should've just made them hang out here! Rachel Green : Yeah, that's true. Monica Geller : All right then, when I'm done with this place, it's gonna be ten times better than that place! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, are we gonna trash that place? Chandler Bing : Steps! Slut! You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy! #ALL# : What?! Ross Geller : So you were right? Chandler Bing : I confronted her, and she didn't deny it! I don't live here! Ross Geller : Chandler!", "summary": "Monica wants to punish her apartment complex for evicting her and Rachel. Phoebe suggests making the complex worse by trashing it. Monica vows to make the new place ten times better. Meanwhile, Chandler reveals that Kathy is sleeping with someone, and Ross confirms the news."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Chandler, what did she say? Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute. Joey Tribbiani : Come here. Monica Geller : Are you sure? Chandler Bing : Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julie's... Rachel Green : Beefsteak Charlie's? Chandler Bing : Yes! See you and I have always been like- Rachel Green : Whoops. Oh, hey, do you need help with that? Monica Geller : Nah, I got it. Rachel Green : Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey argue over a woman named Julie, while Phoebe tries to intervene. Monica offers help but is declined. Later, Chandler reveals he may be drunk and misheard what Julie said."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Rachel Green : So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. It's just so frustrating! Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you ask him out? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, totally! That's such a turn-on! Rachel Green : Really? It doesn't seem desperate? Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ooh, that's the turn-on. Phoebe Buffay : He just got a divorce right? Rachel Green : Hmm-mmm. Phoebe Buffay : So he's probably really nervous around women, y'know? Maybe, you just have to make the first move.", "summary": "Rachel is frustrated that Joshua hasn't asked her out after spending time with him. Phoebe suggests Rachel should ask him out, but Rachel is hesitant, feeling it may seem desperate. Joey agrees and adds that making the first move can be a turn-on."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah but, I've never asked a guy out before. Phoebe Buffay : You've never asked a guy out?!! Rachel Green : No. Have you? Phoebe Buffay : Thousands of times!! That doesn't make me sound too good does it? Rachel Green : I don't even know how I would go about it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, \"Hey, how you doin'?\" Phoebe Buffay : Oh, please! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how you doin'? Rachel Green : You know what, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna call him up, and I'm gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. How you doin'? Hi! Joshua? It's Rachel Green from Bloomingdale's. Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we- the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, let's see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. You've done that a thousand times? Phoebe Buffay : I've never done that.", "summary": "Rachel Green is hesitant to ask out a guy she likes due to lack of experience, while Phoebe Buffay has asked thousands of guys out but with little success. Joey Tribbiani suggests using his pickup line, but it doesn't go well. Rachel decides to take matters into her own hands and calls the guy, Joshua, at his home to return his wallet, but ends up awkwardly asking him out instead. Phoebe reveals she has never actually done this before."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ohh, God, I just got so nervous that he would say no. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you gotta give him something that he can't say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, you're guaranteed he'll say yes! Rachel Green : Really?! You think that will work? Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely! And if it doesn't, can I get the extra ticket? Joey Tribbiani : What the heck is that? Chandler Bing : Did she call? Phoebe Buffay : No, sorry. Chandler Bing : All right, maybe I should call her. Joey Tribbiani : No! Forget her, man! You don't need her, you don't need that! Ross Geller : He's right, what she did was unforgivable.", "summary": "Rachel tries to convince Joey to invite a guy to a Knicks game in order to get him to say yes, but Joey is unsure if it will work. Chandler and Phoebe discuss whether or not Rachel called the guy, while Ross expresses his disapproval of what Rachel did."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, yeah, but y'know, what-what if I was wrong? Ross Geller : How might you be wrong? Chandler Bing : Well y'know, what if she didn't actually sleep with the guy? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, tell me she actually told you this. Chandler Bing : She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross! Ross Geller : That's all you're basing this on? Chandler Bing : That's not backing me up! Look, you said with the off-stage and the heat, and the onstage and the oy heat. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry. Chandler Bing : Oh my God!! Rachel Green : Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too... Umm, who likes the Knicks-", "summary": "Chandler suspects that Ross's ex-wife may not have slept with the guy he thought she did, and they argue about it. Joey doesn't believe Chandler's theory, and Rachel joins in to offer tickets to a basketball game."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : What do you think? Rachel Green : Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great! Joshua Burgin : Huh. Yeah? Rachel Green : Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. Umm, so you like it? Joshua Burgin : I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think I'm gonna wear it home. Rachel Green : Great. Joshua Burgin : All right, thank you so much for all your help. Rachel Green : Sure. Joshua Burgin : Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it. Rachel Green : Yeah-eah-ha!", "summary": "Joshua tries on a suit and receives compliments from Rachel, who is single and available. They both express enthusiasm for the outfit, and Joshua decides to take it home."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Thanks. Maybe I'll see in the spring, with the uh, y'know, for the uh, bathing suits. Rachel Green : Oh well, you don't want to do that now?! Joshua Burgin : Ah, that's okay, thanks. Rachel Green : Okay. Joshua Burgin : Anyway, hopefully, I'll see you around sometime. Rachel Green : Basketball! Joshua Burgin : I'm sorry. Rachel Green : I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if you're interested, just as a thank you for this week. Joshua Burgin : Wow! That would be great. Rachel Green : Really?", "summary": "Joshua and Rachel have a conversation about possibly meeting up in the spring for bathing suits, but Joshua declines. Rachel then offers Joshua two tickets to a Knicks game as a thank you for their conversations this week."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. Stephen Waltham : Good morning. Joshua Burgin : Hi! Kathy : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. I just, I just wanted to come over to-to say that I'm sorry. Y'know? I know I acted like the biggest idiot in the world, and I can completely understand why you were so upset. Kathy : Oh wow. I really wish you'd call me. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but y'know I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? 'Cause we've had our first fight, and now we can move on. Y'know, I know for me- Nick's pants? Kathy : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, for next time, what do you say?", "summary": "Chandler and Kathy have their first fight, but he apologizes and they decide it's a good thing as it means they can move on."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket. Ross Geller : So the first time you ask a guy out, he-he turns you down? Rachel Green : He didn't turn me down! He's at the game isn't he? I got the date, I'm just not on it! Monica Geller : Okay, it's ready. Come on. Joey Tribbiani : What's ready? Monica Geller : Just come. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Wow! Monica! Phoebe Buffay : Great! Ross Geller : This is beautiful!", "summary": "Rachel has an extra ticket to a game and offers it to Ross, who is already attending. Rachel clarifies that she didn't ask Ross out, but he assumes she did and becomes excited. Monica reveals that the food is ready, and Joey expresses curiosity. Meanwhile, Phoebe exclaims over Ross's reaction."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh did you-what did you-did you work for two days straight? Monica Geller : Pretty much. So, what do you, what do you think of the floor? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, it looks the same. Monica Geller : You used to have carpet. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : So I made snacks. Please, just hang out okay? I'm just gonna rest my eyes just a little bit. Ross Geller : Look, Mon, do you want us to uh, come back later? Monica Geller : Oh no-no-no, stay, stay, stay, just keep talking. I'm always the hostess. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : How'd it go?", "summary": "Monica works for two days straight and asks about the floor, which used to have carpet. Joey doesn't notice any difference. Monica offers snacks and invites everyone to stay and talk. Ross suggests coming back later, but Monica insists they should stay."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, she wasn't sleeping with him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Chandler Bing : She is now. Ross Geller : What are you saying? Chandler Bing : I'm saying that she... is a devil woman! Y'know I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I don't hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really. Phoebe Buffay : How? How is your fault? Chandler Bing : Because, I-I should've called! Y'know if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never would've gone out with Nick, and they would've ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples! Rachel Green : Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone. Ross Geller : Well, if-if she thought they were on a break... Stephen Waltham : Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel's friend starts dating after a fight between Ross and Chandler, leading to jealousy and anger from Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Really? Stephen Waltham : Will you call him? Rachel Green : Yes! I will! Absolutely! Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, I'm glad. Rachel, I'd like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin'? Phoebe Buffay : So now, what is this now? Joey Tribbiani : Guggly worm. Phoebe Buffay : And this? Joey Tribbiani : Glow-pop giggly jammer. Phoebe Buffay : You make it so funny. Monica Geller : Hey umm, what's this? Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, a hunk of sandwich from last year.", "summary": "Rachel agrees to call Stephen and then meets Joshua, leaving her wallet on purpose to see him again. Phoebe says something to Rachel, who responds with \"How you doin'?\" Joey talks about a \"guggly worm,\" and Phoebe corrects him to \"glow-pop giggly jammer.\" Monica finds an old sandwich in the fridge."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ohh, Geller's got one hooked! Ohh! Looks like a big one! Yeah, ohh! Ohh! It's the classic struggle between man and- Someone knocked over a lamp. Joey Tribbiani : That's all right. Hey you guys, you know what's going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, \"Joey, what are you doing with your life?\" stuff. I can say, \"Well, I'm doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?\" #ALL# : Great! Chandler Bing : You don't have to stop having fun just because I'm here. Kathy didn't cheat on all of you. Well, except you. Monica Geller : Hey, Joey, I don't think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean it's only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week? Joey Tribbiani : Look, there's nothing I can do for him right now, he's still in his sweat pants, that's still Phase One. Y'know? I'll be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two. Monica Geller : What's Phase Two? Joey Tribbiani : Gettin' drunk and going to a strip club. Rachel Green : How does going to a strip club help him better? Ross Geller : Because there are naked ladies there.", "summary": "* Ross and Joey go fishing and reminisce about their past experiences with fishing.\n* Joey talks about his father giving him \"that look\" when he was younger.\n* Chandler joins the group and they discuss Kathy cheating on them.\n* Monica suggests that Joey should not leave Chandler alone too soon after a break-up.\n* Joey explains Phase One and Phase Two of dealing with a recent break-up."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Which helps him get to Phase Three, picturing yourself with other women. Ross Geller : There are naked ladies there too. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Would you give me one minute!! Please. Joshua Burgin : So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week? Rachel Green : Um-hmm. There we go. There it is. Joshua Burgin : Oh! You know what I need? Rachel Green : Yeah! Joshua Burgin : Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves. Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Uhh, well let's see. You're about-well uh, this one is large. And this one-", "summary": "Joey and Ross picture themselves with other women, while Chandler interrupts. Rachel helps Josh select gloves to match his jacket, and Joey continues to interject with new requests."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Also large? Rachel Green : Yeah! Okay, two larges coming right up! Joshua Burgin : Okay. Stephen Waltham : Rachel! Could I have a moment? Rachel Green : Yes. Stephen Waltham : I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from London-well Shropshire really but y'know-well she's about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if you'd like to keep her company this evening? Rachel Green : Sure. You got it. Great! Stephen Waltham : Oh, good. Rachel Green : Me, Fledermaus, great. I really- Stephen Waltham : Ohh! Yes of course, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much.", "summary": "Rachel agrees to keep a young girl company at the opera, Die Fledermaus."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : So... Rachel Green : So? Joshua Burgin : Gloves? Rachel Green : Ohh! Right! Right, sorry, I'll be right back! Joshua Burgin : Uhh, actually y'know what, I kinda-I have to take off. Rachel Green : Oh. Joshua Burgin : But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight? Rachel Green : No! Nothing! Joshua Burgin : I invested in this night-club and it's opening tonight, would you like to come? Rachel Green : Yeah! That would be great!", "summary": "Joshua invests in a nightclub and asks Rachel if she wants to go tonight."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : You're into hardcore S&M right? Rachel Green : Well, I-I guess-I... Joshua Burgin : Kidding! I'm gonna get there early, but I'm going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me. Rachel Green : Yeah, great, you betcha! Stephen Waltham : I almost forget the tickets, didn't I? Rachel Green : What? Stephen Waltham : For you and Emily, tonight, Die Fledermaus. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh, right. Stephen Waltham : I think you'll like it, it has two out of the three tenors. Rachel Green : Oh yay!", "summary": "Joshua and Rachel discuss their interest in S&M, but Joshua quickly clarifies he is only joking. He then offers to put her on the V.I.P list at a party they are attending. Stephen joins the conversation and reveals he almost forgot the tickets for the event, including one for Emily. Rachel expresses excitement for the opera, which features two of the three tenors."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Y'know, I can't believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on I'm never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants! Ross Geller : Come on, man! Just-just take the sweats off. Okay? Just take 'em off and we'll have some fun. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Catch any big fish? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, you guys have no idea. #ALL# : Oh! God! Wow! Monica Geller : You stink! Ross Geller : Are you kidding?!", "summary": "Chandler is upset with Kathy and decides to never leave his chair again. Ross suggests removing Chandler's sweatpants for fun, but Chandler refuses. Joey joins in and they all have a good time. Phoebe arrives and asks about their fishing trip, but Monica teases Ross about smelling bad."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-how's he doing? Ross Geller : He hasn't gotten out of that chair in two days. Joey Tribbiani : Hey buddy! How's it going? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, I've got to go memorise my lines. Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, Monica! Monica Geller : Uh-oh, what's the matter? Rachel Green : Ohh, it's Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So... What are you gonna do? Monica Geller : I don't know sweetie.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss an invitation to a fancy club opening, while Joey and Ross discuss Ross's condition after falling into a tub of worms at a bait stand."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! Help me! Monica Geller : I can't! I have to work! Rachel Green : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening. Rachel Green : Ugh! Phoebe Buffay : Unless! She wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me. Rachel Green : Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this is-I have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Y'know the \"Wouldn't it be great if she was my wife\" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back? Monica Geller : No, Chandler's still in Phase One, and Joey's that thing you smell. Rachel Green : Ohh! Hi! Ross Geller : Hi!", "summary": "Rachel wants to meet Joshua, her dream guy, but Monica and Phoebe are unavailable to help her. Meanwhile, Joey and Chandler are not available due to their personal issues."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So.... Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Ohhhh, come on!!! Monica Geller : I think she's here. Rachel Green : No! Wait! Wait-wait! Ross, please! Ross Geller : You want me to take some girl I've never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie. Monica Geller : Ohh, she's looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you can't see people through that little hole, can you? Hello! Woman : Hello! Rachel Green : I'll be right there! Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought we've gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me? Ross Geller : All right, I'll do it.", "summary": "Ross hesitates when Rachel asks him to take her to the opera so she can flirt with another man, leading to a debate about their relationship and whether they have moved on from past issues."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Emily? Emily Waltham : Yes. Rachel Green : I'm Rachel Green. Emily Waltham : Thank goodness. Rachel Green : There's been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that I'm not free tonight. So... Emily Waltham : Really?! Well, that's just lovely, isn't it? I must've missed your call, even though I didn't leave the flat all day. Rachel Green : Oh well, no I... Emily Waltham : Oh, no-no-no, that's not rude! It's perfectly in keeping with a trip that I've already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone who's got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum. Monica Geller : I-I-I think you look great. Emily Waltham : Good night, it was very nice to meet you all.", "summary": "Rachel Green invites Emily Waltham over for a night out but cancells at the last minute due to unexpected changes in plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'll get her. Ross Geller : Please hurry. Phoebe Buffay : Don't you just love the way they talk?! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : It kicked! I think the baby kicked! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no wait, oh no, the elastic on my underwear busted. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here! Monica Geller : Oh wait, Joey, you can't go like that! You stink!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross hurry to pick up Phoebe, who is pregnant. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Monica discuss their feelings about the baby kicking. Suddenly, Phoebe's underwear rips due to the kicking. Joey oversleeps and panics as he needs to be on set."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I don't have time! They're just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it. Monica Geller : Yeah. Run ten blocks, that'll help the smell. Rachel Green : Hey-whoa, slow down. No, keep moving. Wow! Monica Geller : So? How did it go with Joshua last night? Rachel Green : Well, I didn't see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Rachel Green : The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! So, did you get to meet her? Rachel Green : No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, \"I'm Rachel Greep! I'm Rachel Greep!\" and he let her right in.", "summary": "Rachel Green didn't see Joshua last night, but she did punch a girl in the face. Monica Geller and Phoebe Buffay try to help Rachel figure out what happened."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So you hit her in the face? Rachel Green : No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I can't believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me. Phoebe Buffay : Aww, Pheebs. Rachel Green : Honey, that's you're name. Phoebe Buffay : That's short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other! Monica Geller : Hey! You're wearing pants! Chandler Bing : That's right! Where are the guys? I'm ready to get drunk and see some strippers. Monica Geller : It's 9:30 in the morning! Chandler Bing : They got a breakfast buffet. Monica Geller : Hello. Oh, hey Ross!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe have a plan to spend time with Joshua, but it's ruined when Rachel gets into a fight with a woman who tried to steal her umbrella. Monica and Chandler are excited for breakfast, while Ross interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ooh, let me talk to him! Monica Geller : Oh-oh, my God! Chandler Bing : Well, can I just... Monica Geller : Shh!! Wait, what? Chandler Bing : She's shhing me! It's my phone and she's shhing me! Phoebe Buffay : Shhh!! Please! What's he saying? Monica Geller : He's with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont! Phoebe Buffay : What? Oh my God! Rachel Green : What? Who the hell is Emily- noooo!! Rachel Green : They're in Vermont!! How could this happen?!", "summary": "Emily and Chandler are at a bed and breakfast in Vermont. Monica and Phoebe try to listen in on their conversation but are shushed by Monica. Rachel discovers that Emily and Chandler are together and is shocked."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ow! Rachel Green : How-how did end up in Vermont with that awful witch?! Chandler Bing : Maybe, she doesn't hit him all the time. Ross Geller : When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldn't be miserable? I'm telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person. Emily Waltham : Ross! Come quickly! There's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! Ross Geller : I've gotta go, there's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! Monica Geller : He had to go, there's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard. Rachel Green : I don't get this! She was horrible! Chandler Bing : Okay, I'm going to go stand over there. Monica Geller : Why do you care so much anyway?", "summary": "Ross meets a woman who is miserable and wet while he is out on a hike. He helps her dry off and she changes personalities."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't care! All right, y'know what I'm just upset that I'm getting nowhere with Joshua that-y'know what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont! Monica Geller : Well, when you first met Barry, you flitted off to Vail. Rachel Green : Oh, y'know, would you just for once, not remember every...little...thing!! Chandler Bing : So y'know, uh, when's he getting back? Monica Geller : A couple of days. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I knew something like this was going to happen. Monica Geller : What are you doing?! Chandler! You can't just go back a phase! Chandler Bing : Yes you can. You're thinking about time, you can't go back in time. Phoebe Buffay : Well, look, why don't you just, why don't you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us. Monica Geller : Yeah, come on, we can be guys!", "summary": "Rachel and Joshua are not getting along, while Monica and Barry have a past history. Chandler returns from a trip and Joey tries to convince him that time travel is possible. Phoebe suggests doing a strip club act with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No you can't. Phoebe Buffay : Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys! Chandler Bing : You don't want to be guys, you'd be all hairy and wouldn't live as long. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know you, you just stop being such a wuss and get those off and you come with us and watch naked girls dance around!! Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Joey Tribbiani! I'm here! I'm here! The A.D : Calm down, we got time, we're running a little late. Joey Tribbiani : Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a liquorice whip! The A.D : Yeah, we loves 'em. I've never seen him with-", "summary": "Phoebe tries to convince Chandler to go with her to see naked girls dance, but he refuses, citing his aversion to being hairy and not living as long. Joey joins in, excited by the prospect of seeing Charlton Heston eat a liquorice whip."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad? The A.D : You. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is? The A.D : You? Joey Tribbiani : No-no, it's uh, it's Heston. The A.D : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice. The A.D : There's no way he smells, he's the only one around here with a shower in his dressing room. Joey Tribbiani : Really, a shower huh? And uh, which-which room might that be? The A.D : The one with \"Heston\" on it.", "summary": "Heston smells bad."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Interesting. Monica Geller : Okay, I've got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties? Chandler Bing : No thanks, Mom! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, 'cause I'm pregnant. The Cigarette Smoking Guy : Well, maybe you and your baby should go to another strip club. Phoebe Buffay : Ha-ha, it's not my baby, ha-ha-ha! Monica Geller : Very good, so good. Phoebe Buffay : I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic. Rachel Green : Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didn't call. I mean you'd think he'd be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont! Phoebe Buffay : Come on! Look where you are!!", "summary": "Monica suggests putting ones in her panties. Chandler refuses and mentions his mother. Phoebe reveals she's pregnant and a strip club might not be appropriate. The Cigarette Smoking Guy suggests taking her and the baby to another strip club. Phoebe jokes that it's not her baby, Monica laughs, and Rachel mentions Joshua hasn't called her despite being worried about her not showing up at his club. Ross is happy in Vermont while Phoebe exclaims where she is."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : When you get a sec, another round of daiquiris. Phoebe Buffay : Remember, a virgin for me please. Monica Geller : Oh! And don't let me leave without getting the name of that carpet guy. Chandler Bing : Ahh, come on! Y'know what-y'know what, I think I'm just gonna go home and call Kathy. Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you think it will help. Chandler Bing : No! That was a test! In a couple of hours I'm gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, I'm gonna get so drunk, I'm gonna wanna call Janice Phoebe Buffay : You should! How is she? Chandler Bing : Ohhh!! Monica Geller : I think somebody needs another lap dance. Charlton Heston : Hello! Who's in there?", "summary": "Phoebe wants a virgin daiquiris, while Chandler plans to get drunk and call Kathy. Monica tries to intervene, but Chandler insists he needs another lap dance. Charlton Heston bursts in unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : How ya doin'? Charlton Heston : Who in the hell are you? Joey Tribbiani : I guess you wouldn't believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh? Charlton Heston : Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, I'm an actor, Joey Tribbiani, I'm doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink. Charlton Heston : You're in this picture? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, I'm one of the cops that won't work with you 'cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, I'm really sorry, but I stink! Charlton Heston : Joey, right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Charlton Heston : Every actor at one time or another-opp! Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford won't even watch himself.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani mistakes Charlton Heston for Kurt Douglas and tries to convince him of his identity. Charlton Heston becomes frustrated and tells Joey that every actor has thought they stink at some point in their career, including Lawrence Olivier and Bob Redford."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no, you don't understand... Charlton Heston : Listen to me! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, yeah. Charlton Heston : I don't know one actor worth his salt that didn't say at one time or another, \"God, I stink!\" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes sir! Yes sir, I'm-I'm- Charlton Heston : Wait a minute! Take your pants. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Oh, yeah. Monica Geller : So, we did okay at the strip club, right? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade! Rachel Green : I can't believe it! He still hasn't called.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Charlton Heston have a conversation about acting and hygiene. Joey agrees to not enter Charlton's dressing room without permission. Later, Monica Geller and Chandler Bing talk about their night at a strip club, with Chandler taking credit for the waitress quitting her job to teach third grade. Rachel Green is upset that her ex-boyfriend hasn't called her yet."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Who, Josh? Rachel Green : It's Joshua. Monica Geller : What, he doesn't like Josh? Rachel Green : No, I don't. Chandler Bing : All right, well I'm gonna put my sweats back on. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Wait! Wait! Okay, y'know what, you were right, you were right. We really weren't great at being guys, but you know why? Because we're girls. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : And do you know what girls are really good at? Chandler Bing : Stripping! Phoebe Buffay : No, listening! Sit! Y'know, maybe it would just really, really help if you would just talk.", "summary": "Girls try to act like guys but fail, then realize they are better at listening than stripping."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, come on! What's going in on in there? Monica Geller : Yeah. And y'know, if you wanna cry, that's okay too. Chandler Bing : Okay, look, I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave. Monica Geller : Come on! Chandler! Chandler Bing : Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldn't picture myself with any of them. Monica Geller : They really were pretty, weren't they? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one. Monica Geller : Oh, Candy! She was so spunky! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Y'know, I think if I were going to be with a woman. It'd, it'd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discovers that Chandler has been struggling with his feelings about being at the gay bar and decides to confront him. Monica tries to convince Chandler to open up about his feelings, but he ultimately decides to ask everyone to leave. Meanwhile, Phoebe expresses her admiration for a fighter pilot stripper, and Monica reveals that if she were to be with a woman, it would be someone petite like Michelle."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : See, I don't know, for me it would have to Chantal. Monica Geller : Oh, Chantal! Rachel Green : Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh... Chandler Bing : Phase Three! I just achieved Phase Three! Monica Geller : Really?! Chandler Bing : I am totally picturing you with all those women! Monica Geller : That's-that's not Phase Three. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm there too! Rachel Green : Well, are we all together? Like in a group? Chandler Bing : Stop it! You're killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss a woman named Chantal, while Chandler enters a phase of sexual arousal."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh! What is that? What is that? Chandler Bing : Where I don't want to have a relationship ever! I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!! Chandler Bing : Come on, let me see that smile. Joey Tribbiani : I don't wanna. Chandler Bing : Please? Joey Tribbiani : I wanted to go to the strip club! Chandler Bing : I know, I know, but you're gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, all right. Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Chandler wants to have sex with strippers and friends, but Joey doesn't want to smile for him. Chandler tries to convince Joey to go to a strip club with him, but Joey is more interested in going to the strip club than Chandler is. Monica and Ross enter the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey-ooh so, how was Vermont? Ross Geller : Emily is...incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. Oh! And you! Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, hey! Ross Geller : Hey! You were so right! Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Uh, what you said, about us being in a place where we could finally be happy for each other. Rachel Green : Oh, hmm. Ross Geller : I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasn't quite there. Y'know, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy... Rachel Green : Joshua. Ross Geller : Joshua...guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda...y'know.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss Vermont and their relationships. Ross admits he had a great time with Emily but struggles with feelings for Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I... Ross Geller : But now! I'm there! I'm totally there! I'm-I'm finally where you are! Rachel Green : Oh, thank goodness! Ross Geller : Yeah, and-and thank you for Emily. Rachel Green : Oh, no problem. I'm so glad I could help. Happy for you. Ross Geller : Happy for you. Rachel Green : No, happy for you! Chandler Bing : All right ladies, here's what we're gonna do. You are gonna take off my clothes. You two, go get the oils. And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, \"Chandler's the king! Chandler's the king!\" Phoebe Buffay : I-I wanna be with her, I like her. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's fine! Go with your instincts, go with your instincts.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel reconnect after he finally arrives at her destination. They express their gratitude towards each other and Emily. Chandler plans to have Phoebe scream \"Chandler's the king!\" while he undresses in front of her and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wait, now, what am I doing again? Chandler Bing : Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment! The Cigarette Guy : Hi, I'm Joshua, I'm here to pick up Rachel. Rachel Green : No-no-no, that' not Joshua. Chandler Bing : What do you want from me, I've never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, I'm sorry you can't stay, but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. What are you doing? All right, listen, I've got to wake up! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here! Rachel Green : Chandler, there's a guy right over there. Chandler Bing : That's a mailman! That's our mailman! Hi. How are ya? Rachel Green : Chandler, don't worry! This doesn't make you any less of a guy! That does! What am I sitting on? I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off. Chandler Bing : Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to get ready for work while a stranger named Joshua tries to pick up Rachel. However, Rachel insists that he is not the right person and Chandler becomes frustrated with the situation. Meanwhile, Chandler complains about getting his nails done and misidentifies a mailman as a potential romantic interest."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hmm. Woman : OH...MY...GAWD!! Monica Geller : Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do? Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, Nothing. Monica Geller : Didn't it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did? Joey Tribbiani : I know what it did! Nothing. Monica Geller : They wouldn't have put it there if it didn't do something! How can you not care? Joey Tribbiani : Like this. Rachel Green : Well, here's another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! It flushes it.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss a light switch in their apartment and try to figure out what it does, with Joey contributing little to the conversation. Meanwhile, Rachel asks Joey about a silver knob on the toilet and he correctly identifies its purpose as flushing it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it? Chandler Bing : Hello! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ah!! Rachel Green : Guess who we ran into today?! Monica Geller : Janice?! Chandler Bing : Isn't this amazing? Monica Geller : How have you been? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh well, I'm divorced. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh, wow. Janice Litman Goralnik : Yeah, I'm riding the alimony pony.", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler meet someone unexpected at the coffee shop, while Joey and Monica catch up with an old friend."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And there it is. Janice Litman Goralnik : I just came up to say, \"Hi!\" Hi! And you, sweetie, I'll see you tonight. Chandler Bing : Okay. Bye. Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye. Chandler Bing : Bye. Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye. Chandler Bing : Bye. Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye. Chandler Bing : B-bye! Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye-bye.", "summary": "Janice visits Joey and says hi. They exchange pleasantries before she leaves for the night."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Bye. I can't stand the woman! Phoebe Buffay : What?! I thought you were crazy about her! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personality-Well, they're all back! Y'know? And she's picked up like nine new ones! Joey Tribbiani : So what are you doing bringing her here?! There's people here! Chandler Bing : Don't worry about it. I'm taking care of it tonight. Rachel Green : You are not. You have never been able to break up with her. Chandler Bing : Well, I don't have to break up with her this time. We're not involved! I'm going to do a pre-emptive strike! I'm going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. I'm tellin' ya! Emily Waltham : I can't believe you really walk alone here! I mean, you hear such stories about New York. Ross Geller : No, it's really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe are arguing over his feelings for Monica, who has returned with new quirks and habits. Joey tries to intervene, but Chandler insists he will handle it. Rachel disagrees, citing past failures. Meanwhile, Emily expresses concern about walking alone in New York City, while Ross downplays safety fears."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Help! Help!! Help! Help!! Emily Waltham : No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. Liam, Devon, this is Ross. Devon : Hey, mate. Liam : How are ya man? Ross Geller : Oh hey, that was a good one, huh? Help! Help! Emily Waltham : So how are you? I've been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived but umm, well, I've been rather busy. Devon : Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert? Emily Waltham : Oh my God. I think you're right. Liam : Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning. Emily Waltham : Oh, Liam.", "summary": "Emily Waltham visits Ross Geller and introduces him to her friends Liam and Devon. They catch up on old times, reminiscing about their last encounter at an U2 concert and their mutual friend's wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or something-or should I call it football? Devon : We were playing rugby. Liam : In fact we're playing a game at the park tomorrow. You're welcome to play too if you want. Emily Waltham : Ross play rugby? I don't think so. Ross Geller : What's ah, what's so funny about that? Emily Waltham : Well I mean, you're American to start with. You don't even have rugby here. Ross Geller : Well, we didn't have freedom here until 1776, either so... Devon : So good then! We'll see you at Riverside Park at 2:00! Cheers! Liam : Cheers! Ross Geller : Cheers!", "summary": "Ross and his friends are playing rugby at the park tomorrow and invite Ross to join them. Emily finds it amusing that Ross, an American, would play a sport not commonly found in the US."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh boy, I just love to sing! Chandler Bing : Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, look at us! Who would've thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. Chandler Bing : Okay, we have to talk. I'm just getting out of a very serious relationship... Janice Litman Goralnik : I know! And I'm just getting out of a marriage, I mean talk about meant to be! Chandler Bing : Right! I just think that this is happening too soon. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time. Chandler Bing : I hear ya. But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh no! Where to? Too Paris? Chandler Bing : No! No! Not, Paris.", "summary": "Janice and Chandler have a conversation about their love of singing and how people were upset that they paid to hear an actor sing \"Old Man River.\" They then discuss their personal lives, with Janice recently getting out of a marriage and Chandler just ending a serious relationship. Despite Chandler's reservations, Janice is determined to pursue a new romance. However, Chandler receives news that he will be transferred overseas, causing him to worry about the fate of their blossoming relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? Yemen. That's right, yes, I'm being transferred to Yemen! Janice Litman Goralnik : When? Chandler Bing : I don't know exactly. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes. Chandler Bing : But I do know that it's some time tomorrow. Monica Geller : Done? Phoebe Buffay : Yep! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! What's up? Monica Geller : This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them don't work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.", "summary": "Chandler Bing is being transferred to Yemen, but he doesn't know exactly when. Janice Litman Goralnik is eagerly awaiting his departure, while Monica Geller and Phoebe Buffay try to help her soak up every last bit of Chandler until then. Meanwhile, Rachel Green and Joey Tribbiani enter the conversation unrelated to the plot, and Monica continues her search for the faulty outlet in their apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I bet I stopped listening before you did. Rachel Green : Y'know, you-you also could've used uh, lamps and then followed the light. Monica Geller : Yeah, well, I'm using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? Rachel Green : It's coming from Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, that's so freaky! Turn him off!! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining. Ross Geller : Oh, just hold on a second. I'm watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I don't know what the big deal is. I'm man enough to play this sport. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you're not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hey there Ross! Ross Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang is gathered in Monica's apartment, trying to decide what to watch on TV. Joey claims he heard something coming from him, while Rachel suggests using lamps to follow the sound. Phoebe hears something too and wants to turn off the TV. Ross argues that he's watching rugby on ESPN and doesn't want to change the channel. Janice joins the group and adds her two cents."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Janice. Chandler Bing : Y'know uh, you didn't really have to help me pack. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didn't really leave me much choice. Did you? Chandler Bing : Well, I-I thought I did but, I-I guess I did not! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm packing. Y'know I'm-I'm packing 'cause I'm moving to Yemen tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks for telling me! Chandler Bing : I'm only going to pretend I'm moving to Yemen, it's the only way I can get rid off her. Joey Tribbiani : Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler! Come on, I'm gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. It's a real space saver.", "summary": "Chandler Bing is moving to Yemen tomorrow, but he doesn't actually want to go. Janice Litman Goralnik tries to help him pack, but Chandler insists he's only pretending to move to Yemen to get rid of her. Joey Tribbiani joins the conversation and helps Chandler with his packing, while Janice continues to offer her packing tips."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, I do that 'cause it makes me look taller. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay, Chandler, come on! Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey, trade lives with me! Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Man look at this! Ross, I can't believe you said you'd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is! Ross Geller : Hey, I can handle it! All right? Rachel Green : Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad. Ross Geller : That's 'cause-'cause you're mom's dog kept-kept looking at me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. That's called a scrum, okay? It's kinda like a huddle. Ross Geller : And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle? Joey Tribbiani : Ross! They're gonna kill you!", "summary": "Ross plays rugby and gets hurt, while Joey tries to explain the concept of a scrum to him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, why are you doing this anyway? Ross Geller : Well, you should've seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, he's like Joe Rugby. Phoebe Buffay : You're kidding! And he plays rugby?! That's so funny. Ohh! I see how you did that. All right. Ross Geller : Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So I'm gonna show her how tough I really am! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right, you are a tough guy. You're the toughest palaeontologist I know. Joey Tribbiani : All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! It's not like he's...Chandler! Chandler Bing : Thanks! Ross Geller : Look, don't worry about me. Okay? I'll just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. I'll uh, I'll be that guy right out of the circle. #ALL# : Oh! Rachel Green : Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin' at him.", "summary": "Ross plays rugby to prove his toughness to an ex-girlfriend who thought he was weak. Joey and Chandler mock him, while Phoebe tries to help him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy , and that guy . And that one-Dude! They're all huge! Ross Geller : They don't look any bigger than me! Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe that's because you're closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are. Emily Waltham : I'm just going to say hi to the lads. All right? Ross Geller : All right. Emily Waltham : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Whoa! I kinda liked it. Ross Geller : Okay, I know what I have to do. I've got to go Red Ross. Y'know, Red Ross! Joey Tribbiani : I totally don't know what you're talking about.", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue over who is bigger, while Emily tries to introduce herself to the group and Phoebe expresses confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!! Joey Tribbiani : No. Ross Geller : You'll see. Emily Waltham : Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, it's his first time. Liam : You don't say! Emily Waltham : Good luck, babe. Liam : Ross! Ross! Come on! Get in here! Ross! Come on! Liam : Ross, come on! Get in the bloody scrum! Ross, get in! Ross Geller : JOEY!!!!!! Rachel Green : You...are...not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?", "summary": "Ross gets angry when someone cuts in front of him in line for a movie. Emily tries to defend Ross, while Liam encourages him to join the scrum. Meanwhile, Rachel shares a shocking revelation about Joshua."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : He asked you out?! Rachel Green : No. But I was showing him some cufflinks and I felt his pulse. Monica Geller : Saucy! Rachel Green : What are these? Monica Geller : Electrical plans for the building. Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay should I be scared? Monica Geller : I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours. Rachel Green : Wow! If only more people knew. Chandler Bing : Y'know you, really didn't have to take me to the airport. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh please. Every moment is precious. Y'know? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends don't really seem to care too much that you're leaving.", "summary": "Monica Geller was asked out by a guy but Rachel Green felt his pulse instead while showing him cufflinks. Monica and Rachel then discuss electrical plans for the building, and Rachel mentions feeling scared. Chandler Bing joins in and jokes about not having to take Rachel to the airport, while Janice Litman Goralnik comments on how every moment is precious and someone had to ride with Rachel's luggage."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, we're really not that close. Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then. Janice Litman Goralnik : On no! No! It's not good-bye, I'm not leaving until you get on that plane. Chandler Bing : Okay. Then I guess it's just, wait here then. Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen. Ticket Counter Attendant : One ticket to Yemen? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, no. No, no, no, I just, I just need a pretend ticket. Ticket Counter Attendant : I'm sorry sir, I don't understand. Chandler Bing : What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with? Ticket Counter Attendant : Are you travelling with a child? Chandler Bing : No. All right, y'know what, she's gonna think that I'm handing you a credit card, but what I'm really gonna do is hand you a library card. Ticket Counter Attendant : Ah, sir a ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we don't take library cards.", "summary": "Chandler tries to leave but Janice stops him and demands he stay until he boards his plane. Chandler then asks for a fake ticket to Yemen, which the attendant misunderstands. When the attendant clarifies that they don't accept library cards as payment, Chandler becomes frustrated and walks away."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : What's the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay? Chandler Bing : American Express? Emily Waltham : I can't believe they're doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him! Phoebe Buffay : No offence but, y'know sometimes it's hard to understand you, y'know with the accent, so... Emily Waltham : That's just halftime, there's more of this. Ross Geller : Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game! Emily Waltham : Right. Ross Geller : Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water? Emily Waltham : Okay. Ross Geller : Thanks. I-I think I'm dying. I really do.", "summary": "Ross is in danger of passing out due to dehydration during a game, and his friends try to help him by getting him water."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, poor baby. Ross Geller : Tell my son that I love him. Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun! Emily Waltham : Ross, they are killing you out there! Ross Geller : That's not true! Phoebe Buffay : She's right! You have to stop! Ross Geller : What? No! No, I'm not stopping. I'm Red Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, if you go back out there, you're gonna be Dead Ross! Ross Geller : I don't care! I am not quitting! I insist on finishing this game! Emily Waltham : All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you. Ross Geller : No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.", "summary": "Ross goes back out to play poker despite Phoebe and Emily's warnings, insisting he can finish the game. Joey warns him he will be \"Dead Ross\" if he continues, but Ross refuses to quit. Emily tries to help him but is rejected."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : No. That's not what I'm saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain. Ross Geller : I like that. Emily Waltham : Yeah? Listen closely, Devon has got a weak ankle. Ross Geller : Huh? Emily Waltham : One swift kick and he'll back off. Ross Geller : All right, bad ankle, got it! Emily Waltham : And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesn't wear a cup. Ross Geller : Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay! Emily Waltham : And uh, Liam, Liam's got bad knees. You hit him right and he'll go down like a lamp. Ross Geller : But-but, Liam's on my team.", "summary": "* Emily knows things that could help inflict pain on someone\n* Devon has a weak ankle\n* The big bloke with the beard has a trick hip\n* David does not wear a cup\n* Liam has bad knees and can be taken down easily"}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : I don't care! You just get him! Ross Geller : I'm gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! Joey Tribbiani : The Red Ross! Okay. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : What-what are-what are these? Monica Geller : Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought they'd brighten up the place. They do don't you think? Monica Geller : No-no-no, no! Monica Geller : I know that there's no hole there, I just really liked that picture. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Look at this!", "summary": "Ross tries to retrieve a man for Emily, while Joey calls him \"The Red Ross.\" Monica hangs up pictures in the apartment, and Rachel finds something unusual."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something! Rachel Green : I don't care! The wires have come loose in your head! Monica Geller : I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did. Rachel Green : And did you?! Monica Geller : No. It disappears back there behind that baseboard. For a minute there, I thought it went downstairs. Monica Geller : But it didn't. Say hello to Mrs. Chatracus. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Mrs. Chatracus : Hello darling. Rachel Green : Hello, Mrs. Chatracus. Phoebe Buffay : Now, are you sure you don't want to go see a doctor?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel find a wire in the wall that appears to be connected to something, but they can't figure out what it does. Monica follows the wire, which leads her to a mysterious woman named Mrs. Chatracus. Phoebe suggests that Monica should see a doctor about the strange occurrence."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh no! That-that'll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Y'know what? I'm buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, it's in my pocket. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure. Ross Geller : No, not you. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, look, your eye's still popping out a little, I'm gonna go get some ice. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! Emily Waltham : You were amazing out there. Ross Geller : Oh, I kinda was, wasn't I? Emily Waltham : Oh my God! Ross Geller : I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I haven't done that since I was four and I washed my dad's Porsche with rocks. Emily Waltham : You really enjoyed yourself didn't you?", "summary": "Ross enjoys a great day, buying everyone coffee, until his eye starts to twitch. Joey and Phoebe offer to help, but Emily notes that Ross was amazing in his performance."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody nose-I mean I-I'm not proud of it but, I really am. And it's all because of you, wonderful, amazing you. Emily Waltham : I think you've got concussion. Ross Geller : No, no, I'm serious. Thank you. Emily Waltham : You're welcome. I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? Ross Geller : It's worth the pain. Y'know what, you know what? It's not. Ticket Counter Attendant : This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen. Chandler Bing : Well, I-I guess I gotta go. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, my Bing-a-ling. I'll wait for you. Do you even know how long you're going to be gone? Chandler Bing : Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh. Well, I'll right you everyday. 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.", "summary": "Ross hurt three men and gave a guy a bloody nose for Emily. Emily thinks Ross has a concussion. Ross says it's worth the pain. Chandler boards a flight to Yemen with Janice."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, good-bye. Good-bye. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler? Chandler Bing : No! Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane! Janice Litman Goralnik : No! No! I wanna see you take-off. Chandler Bing : Well, I then guess I'm going to Yemen! I'm going to Yemen! When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you? Monica Geller : All right. The super couldn't figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldn't figure out what it did. I've had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up. Rachel Green : Thank God. Monica Geller : I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.", "summary": "Chandler and Janice have a confrontation at the airport before he leaves for Yemen. Chandler tries to convince Janice to stay with him, but she refuses. Monica and Rachel are dealing with issues related to their apartment's electrical system, including a $200 per hour electrician who is unable to figure out the problem."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : See? I'm doing it. I am totally doing it. I lost it. Monica Geller : What is it hon? Phoebe Buffay : I-I can't find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! I'm telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cake-ooh! Cake! No. Monica Geller : Aww, honey I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : God! Ooh! What is that smell? It's coming from the bathroom. Ooh! Chandler Bing : Wow! Pregnancy does give you some weird cravings. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : It's me. It's Phoebe. Listen there's something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good? Joey Tribbiani : Is it the shampoo? It's guava. Phoebe Buffay : No!", "summary": "Phoebe is experiencing nausea and difficulty finding something to eat during her pregnancy, while Monica offers support and Chandler and Joey share their own cravings experiences."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Wait-wait! Is it my bologna sandwich? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Yes. Yes. I can't believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I can't eat meat! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, wait-wait! Maybe it's a pickle?! Chandler Bing : What are you writing? Rachel Green : Well, Joshua's coming in tomorrow and since I don't have the guts to ask him out, I'm going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you never go out of style-what did you throw away? Chandler Bing : Hi guys! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what have you guys been up too? Ross Geller : Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang visits a museum and Rachel tries to sell a coat to Joshua with a note inside. Chandler tries to flirt with Joshua, but fails."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Without me?! Emily Waltham : My uncle dragged us there. But, it actually it turned out to be really interesting. Ross Geller : Yeah. Emily Waltham : They were so ornate and beautiful, I mean look at that! Monica Geller : I don't know how museums work in England but, here, you're not supposed to take stuff. Emily Waltham : I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. It's a joke. Ross Geller : Bye. Emily Waltham : Right, I've got to be off, I'll see ya. Buh-bye then. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You guys seem to be having a good time. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, she's-she's amazing. And-and she's so much fun. And! Y'know what? When I'm with her, I'm fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. She's leaving in two days, I don't have to do it.", "summary": "Emily Waltham visits a museum with Chandler Bing and Ross Geller, but her uncle dragged them there. Emily finds the artifacts beautiful and interesting, but Monica Geller warns against taking items without permission. Emily purchases an ornament from the gift shop, admitting the security is lax. Ross and Joey Tribbiani express their admiration for Emily's company, and Ross reveals he signed up for helicopter classes to impress her, as she will be leaving in two days."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh no, two days, you must be bummed. Ross Geller : Yeah, she's got to go back to London. But you know what? I've been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and that's it. Y'know. Joey Tribbiani : Hey that's what all my relationships are like. Chandler Bing : Yes, but in Ross's case, they both know in two weeks that's it. Ross Geller : Pheebs! #ALL# : Hey! Ross Geller : Hello! Hello! Phoebe Buffay : Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, y'know? And I got nauseous. Chandler Bing : Maybe that's because soy-burgers suck! Phoebe Buffay : Being pregnant is tough on your tummy.", "summary": "Ross has known for two weeks that his girlfriend will have to return to London, but he is prepared for it and understands their time together was limited from the start. Joey comments that all of his relationships are short-lived, while Chandler agrees that in Ross's case, they both knew the time frame from the beginning. Meanwhile, Phoebe is experiencing morning sickness after trying to trick her unborn baby with a soy burger, leading Chandler to make a snarky remark about the taste of vegetarian food."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant lady glow. Phoebe Buffay : That's sweat. You throw up all morning, you'll have that glow too. Joshua Burgin : Okay! Rachel Green : Oh, here's that trench-coat that you wanted. Joshua Burgin : Oh great! Wow! Yeah, it's comfortable. Rachel Green : Yeah? Joshua Burgin : Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. Rachel Green : Oh no-no, no-no, they don't want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store. Joshua Burgin : Why not?! Rachel Green : Well, that's because of a lot of...", "summary": "Phoebe gets sweaty during morning sickness and Joey teases her about it. Joshua tries on a trench coat and Rachel warns him not to put his hands in the pockets until they leave the store."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Y'know, they ruin it for everybody. Rachel Green : I know! Joshua Burgin : Y'know, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night. Rachel Green : Oh? Joshua Burgin : Yeah, it was my first date since the uh, since the divorce. Rachel Green : Well, congratulations, so do you love her? Joshua Burgin : No, no, no, she's nice but, y'know, it just it made me realize that I'm just not, I'm just not ready to be dating, y'know? Rachel Green : Huh. Well, uh, that's uh, that's interesting. Joshua Burgin : Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that? Rachel Green : Oh, it's just an anti-theft device.", "summary": "Josh and Rachel discuss his recent date, where he wore a cashmere sweater. He reveals that it was his first date since his divorce and that he's not ready to start dating again."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Then uh, what's-what's this? Rachel Green : You need that, you need that too 'cause obviously, a thief could just tear this up. Rachel Green : Oops, sorry. Listen, we-we have to have a party tonight! Actually, we have to have one in five minutes, so everybody cancel your plans. Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what' going on? Rachel Green : We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But it's actually for Joshua. Look, he said he's not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! Ross Geller : Well, as much as I'd like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I aren't going to be here. All right? I mean, she's going to come by first to say good-bye, and then I've got a whole special evening planned. So I'm sorry, no party. Joey Tribbiani : Awwww! Emily Waltham : Hello? Rachel Green : Surprise!!!", "summary": "Emily plans a surprise Bon Voyage party for Joshua, but he's not ready to date. Rachel invites him to the party in hopes of seducing him. Meanwhile, Ross has a separate plan to meet Josh and warn him about Emily."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Surprise!! Emily Waltham : No one's ever thrown me a surprise party before! Rachel Green : Well, it was all Ross's idea. Emily Waltham : You're so sweet! And I'm so surprised! Ross Geller : You really didn't know? Chandler Bing : Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? Rachel Green : Uhh, because I'm trying to play hard to get. Oh, quick he's looking over here, say something funny. Chandler Bing : Like what? Joey Tribbiani : What-what-what is so funny? Chandler Bing : I said, \"Like what?\"", "summary": "Emily Waltham is surprised by a surprise party thrown by Ross Geller. Rachel Green tries to play hard to get and avoid Joey Tribbiani's attempts to be funny. Chandler Bing asks for a punchline after making a joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Now that's a thinker. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what, y'know what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. Okay. Okay. Hi! Joshua Burgin : Hi! Rachel Green : Care for a cherry? Joshua Burgin : Oh, no thanks. Rachel Green : No? Y'know, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue. Joshua Burgin : You okay? You all right? Ross Geller : So we should probably get going soon. Emily Waltham : Oh, but the party's only just getting started! Ross Geller : Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks in 15 minutes and then y'know, then The Plaza for dinner.", "summary": "Rachel tries to play hard to get with Joshua but he's not interested. Rachel ties a cherry into a knot using only her tongue. Ross wants to leave the party but Emily doesn't want to go."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : So why did you plan a party at the same time? Ross Geller : No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. It's usually, \"Surprise!\" And then, \"Oh my God, I'm so surprised-good-bye!\" Emily Waltham : But Ross, I'm such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties. Ross Geller : Monica said that did she? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that? Joey Tribbiani : A little salami. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh yeah! Then umm, what goes on top of the salami? Joey Tribbiani : Pastrami. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, yeah. You're a genius. Rachel Green : Oh, could somebody give me a hand with this zipper?", "summary": "Emily Waltham and Ross Geller plan a surprise party for him at the same time, leading to confusion and hilarity. Monica shares a story about Ross dressing up as an old lady and holding tea parties, while Phoebe adds her own twist with salami and pastrami. Rachel struggles with a zipper problem."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Up! Monica Geller : You changed? Rachel Green : Yeah, I did. I needed my lucky dress. Monica Geller : And lucky means, more cleavage? Chandler Bing : Does for me. Rachel Green : Ohh, God! Look at him, he's so cute. I wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him! How can I kiss him and not letting him know that I like him? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I know how you can get him, take off your bra. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : There was a seen in Footloose...", "summary": "Rachel changes her dress for good luck before a dance competition, and Monica makes a comment about her cleavage. Chandler finds Chandler attractive and Rachel wants to kiss him without letting him know she likes him. Joey suggests removing one's bra as a way to get his attention."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Flashdance. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, yeah, with that-that uh, plumber girl... Chandler Bing : She was a welder. Joey Tribbiani : What? Were you like in the movie, or... Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy. Monica Geller : Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe. Rachel Green : It's not Christmas! Monica Geller : Or Spin the Bottle? Rachel Green : He's not 11! Emily Waltham : Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you. Rachel Green : What? You're leaving?!", "summary": "A welding girl in a movie removes her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. A character wants to kiss someone using mistletoe or Spin the Bottle. A character leaves abruptly."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes, we have something we have to get to. Joshua Burgin : Uhh, yeah, I think I'm going to take-off too. Rachel Green : No! You guys can't leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned! Ross Geller : What big thing? Rachel Green : So, Spin The Bottle works like this I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunther's face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first? Emily Waltham : I'll go. #ALL# : Yay! Joey Tribbiani : Welcome to America. Monica Geller : Two in a row! You've got to use your tongues now! Rachel Green : Yay! Emily!", "summary": "Ross and Joshua plan to leave, but Rachel wants them to stay for her Spin The Bottle game. Rachel explains the rules, then decides not to kiss Gunther. Emily volunteers to go first, and the group cheers. Joey welcomes Emily to America, and Monica reminds everyone to use their tongues during the game."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What are the odds? What are the odds? Ross Geller : Okay, that-that's enough! Y'know, let's, let's let someone else play. Joey Tribbiani : If you didn't want to play, why did you come to the party? Rachel Green : Okay, my turn!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! The baby just kicked! #ALL# : Ohh! Rachel Green : It's okay! It's okay! It kicked once, it'll kick again! #ALL# : Oh my God! Rachel Green : All right, well, everybody just remember where they were sitting. Rachel Green : Just a bug.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group plays a game of \"What are the odds?\" until Ross gets annoyed and decides to end the game. Joey asks Rachel why she came to the party if she didn't want to play, and Phoebe reveals that her baby kicked. Everyone remembers their seats for the next round, and then the scene ends with a bug appearing on stage."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Y'know it doesn't matter how much I'm craving it. Y'know why I'm never gonna eat meat? Because it's murder, cold blooded murder. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : There's a Phoebe on my sandwich! Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe, what-what are you doing?! Phoebe Buffay : I can't help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat. Joey Tribbiani : All right look, y'know how-y'know how when you're dating someone and you don't want to cheat on them, unless it's with someone really hot? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, totally! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If you're going to do something wrong, do it right! Joey Tribbiani : Feel better now? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but at what cost? Six more months, three meals a day, I'm gonna eat like, y'know millions of cows.", "summary": "Phoebe doesn't want to eat meat because it's \"cold-blooded murder.\" Chandler finds a Phoebe on his sandwich and Joey tries to help Phoebe control her eating habits."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I eat a lot of meat right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Well, suppose until the baby's born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-you'd just be eating my animals. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, I can't believe you would do that for me. Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. There's no meat in beer, right? Ross Geller : Okay, we could still make dinner if we skipped the appetisers and asked for our check right away. Emily Waltham : But, we can't go now. It looks like Rachel's gonna put on a skit. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Have you lost your mind?", "summary": "Joey offers to be a vegetarian for Phoebe so that no more animals will die for her food until the baby is born. Ross suggests skipping appetizers and asking for the check early to save money. Emily wants to stay to watch Rachel's skit, but Monica thinks it's crazy."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No-n-n-n-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasn't working out to well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed. Monica Geller : Rachel-Rachel-Rachel I-I cannot, I can't let-, actually I kinda want to see what happens. Joshua Burgin : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Joshua Burgin : Nice uh, costume. Rachel Green : Ohh, yeah, well I wanted to give Emily a big American good-bye cheer. So okay! Ready! Okay! Gimme an 'E!' #ALL# : E! Rachel Green : Gimme an 'M!' #ALL# : M! Rachel Green : Gimme an 'I!'", "summary": "Rachel dresses up as Emily to give her a big American goodbye cheer, but Monica and Josh have different ideas."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : I! Rachel Green : Gimme an 'L!' #ALL# : L! Rachel Green : Gimme a 'Y!' #ALL# : Y! Rachel Green : What do you get? Emily!! Emil-Whoa!! Okay! So that's me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! Joey Tribbiani : Are you all right? Rachel Green : I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm just losing a tooth, it's no big deal. I have a dentist! Y'know. I'm gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. What do I do now? What do I do now? Monica Geller : I think you're done. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, time to take off the bra.", "summary": "Rachel loses a tooth and becomes a cheerleader, but then starts feeling unwell and loses her tooth."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Umm, that was really great, but I-I gotta take-off actually. Joey Tribbiani : Take the bra off. Rachel Green : All right, come on, let's go get your coat. Joshua Burgin : Okay. Gunther : Rachel is my girlfriend. Joshua Burgin : So, this was uh, really fun. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah! Real fun. Y'know, this bra... Really, bothers me. Y'know, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, y'know what they'd say? Wanna hear some memories? Joshua Burgin : Need uh, need a little hand there. Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no! No, I got this all under control. Joshua Burgin : You really don't seem like you do. That's...", "summary": "Josh and Joey are hanging out with Rachel in her apartment when Josh suddenly excuses himself and leaves. Joey stays behind and starts flirting with Rachel, who is uninterested. Gunther enters and reveals that he and Rachel are together. The conversation continues with the group reminiscing about past memories in the apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ughhhh!! Forget it! This is, this is not how this is supposed to happen. Joshua Burgin : Well, what was supposed to happen? Rachel Green : Can you not look at me when I say this? I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you. Joshua Burgin : Huh. Oh, boy! Uhh, I-I don't wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you. Rachel Green : Well, I'm sorry, I thought you needed them! Joshua Burgin : No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you. Rachel Green : Why?! Joshua Burgin : Because I-I like you. Rachel Green : You like me? Joshua Burgin : Yeah! I mean you're-you're beautiful and smart and sophisticated-a lot of this isn't based on tonight.", "summary": "Rachel tries to seduce Joshua but he reveals that he likes her for who she is and not just because of their clothing exchange."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah but-but-but you liked me! Oh my God, I can't believe this, all this time, I liked you and you liked me! Joshua Burgin : But... Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no don't say but! No-no, but's never good! Let's just leave it at, you like me and I like you. Joshua Burgin : Okay uh, however... Rachel Green : Oh, now see that's a fancy but. Joshua Burgin : My marriage like just ended, and I'm really not ready to get into anything yet. Rachel Green : But.... Joshua Burgin : I'm sorry, I, I just need a little time. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshua's gone so you and Emily are free to go.", "summary": "Rachel likes Joshua but he doesn't feel ready for a new relationship after his recent marriage ended. They have a conversation about it and Rachel moves on."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's okay. She's still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, it's too late to do any of the things I had planned, so... Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, I'm sorry. I completely ruined your evening. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself. Ross Geller : Helps a little. Rachel Green : Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser? Ross Geller : Yeah, have a seat. Rachel Green : I'm so sorry. Ross Geller : That's okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didn't want it to end this way, y'know? Rachel Green : Well, maybe you didn't want it to end?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel ruin each other's plans for a night out, with Rachel making a fool of herself and Ross feeling disappointed that their two-week fling ended in embarrassment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What do you mean? Rachel Green : You seem to really like her. Ross Geller : Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, y'know no commitment. Rachel Green : Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica's photo albums, I mean you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks. Ross Geller : You think? Rachel Green : Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and you're sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip. Ross Geller : Hey, you're right. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Thanks. What photo album was it? Rachel Green : I don't know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids.", "summary": "Ross likes a girl he met while his friends were babysitting his dog, but they agreed to a two-week limit without commitment. However, she spent the whole evening with him and his friends, showing interest in his life and looking through old photos of him. Ross is conflicted about what to do next."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my God! Those weren't albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! Rachel Green : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : You're a pathetic loser, right? Chandler Bing : Oh-ho, yeah! Rachel Green : Sit! Joshua Burgin : Hi. Rachel Green : Oh my gosh, Joshua! Joshua Burgin : All those things I said about not being ready... Rachel Green : They're not true?", "summary": "Ross discovers that the children he thought were albino are actually from a computer camp. Chandler insults Rachel, who retaliates by calling him a loser. Joshua enters the conversation and denies previous statements about being unready for their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : No, they're-they're all true. Rachel Green : Oh. Joshua Burgin : But... Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, I love that but. Rachel Green : You wanna go inside and have some coffee? Joshua Burgin : Yeah. Rachel Green : Okay. Every time. Joey Tribbiani : Oooh, what you got there? Phoebe Buffay : Pastrami. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Hey! Y'know what goes good with that?", "summary": "Joshua and Rachel discuss a group of people who are all true, but Joshua clarifies they are not. They then decide to go inside for coffee. Joey finds out Phoebe has pastrami and exclaims it goes well with something."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hm-mm, corn beef. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, I was gonna say bologna, but that's much better. How about a little of that smoked turkey? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh mama! Uh when-when is the baby due? Phoebe Buffay : Six months. Joey Tribbiani : Ugh. Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right? Phoebe Buffay : Not if I get there first. Mr. Treeger : Ohhh, man!! Joey Tribbiani : What is that? Chandler Bing : Treeger's snaking the shower drain.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey discuss different types of meat for sandwiches while Phoebe reveals she is six months pregnant. Joey expresses his desire to eat a cow that has died of natural causes, but Phoebe jokes about getting there first. Mr. Treeger enters and Chandler mentions something about him sinking the shower drain."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : What in the name of hell? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe he found you flip-flop. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I must've hit something on the remote. Chandler Bing : Do we pay for this? Joey Tribbiani : No, we didn't even pay our cable bill-maybe this is how they punish us. Chandler Bing : Maybe we shouldn't pay our phone bill-free phone sex. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe we shouldn't pay our gas bill? Mr. Treeger : Whoa, hey, that lady's all kinds of naked. Chandler Bing : Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just, came on!", "summary": "Mr. Treeger finds a naked woman on TV after Joey accidentally clicks the wrong button with his remote."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Treeger : Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money. Chandler Bing : Like finding money with naked people on it! Mr. Treeger : Then I made the mistake of turning off the TV, I never got it back again. And I'm sad. Joey Tribbiani : Why would he turn off the TV? Rachel Green : All right, y'know what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no-no! Chandler Bing : We don't know what could make this go away. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV! Chandler Bing : And no one touches the air around the TV! Joey Tribbiani : Imagine a protective porn bubble if you will, okay?", "summary": "Plot Summary: A man finds a surprising channel on TV and regrets turning it off. His friends try to help him retrieve the lost programming by creating a barrier around the TV and using magic words."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well at least, I'm going to mute it. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no! Chandler Bing : We still have porn. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Honey, what are you doing? That's too heavy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Give it here. Oh, God. Monica Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler try to mute the TV, but Joey reveals they still have porn. Phoebe joins in, and Rachel is horrified."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, I'm getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Y'know, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. Chandler Bing : Or a job where you don't have to carry a table. Phoebe Buffay : You mean like a doctor? Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! You're blocking the porn! Look out! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Oh my. Oh, that reminds me, I have to see my OB-GYN today. Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : So uh, Emily just went to the airport. Monica Geller : Oh. Why didn't you take her? Ross Geller : Eh, her-her uncle already had planned on doing it. And y'know, we-we said our good-byes this morning, so...", "summary": "Phoebe wants to find a job that involves carrying a smaller table, and Chandler suggests becoming a doctor. Joey interrupts with a pornography joke, and Phoebe reveals that she needs to see her OB-GYN today. Monica mentions that Emily recently went to the airport, and Ross explains that he didn't take her because her uncle had already planned on doing it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You must feel horrible. Hey! The guys have free porn! Ross Geller : Nah. Monica Geller : Hey, cheer up! You're gonna see her again, right? Ross Geller : Well I, that's the thing, I don't know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, \"This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Let's just enjoy...\" Monica Geller : No-no-no, don't-don't do the accent. You've got to see her again. Ross Geller : And why do you care so much? Monica Geller : Because! You could get to live out my fantasy! Ross Geller : You had fantasies about Emily? Monica Geller : No! Y'know, the fantasy! Meet someone from a strange land, fall in madly love, and spend the rest of your lives together. Ross Geller : Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid?", "summary": "Ross is hesitant to bring up the topic of his future with Rachel, despite Monica's urging. Monica is fascinated by the idea of Ross falling in love with someone from a distant land and spending the rest of their lives together."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah that, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything! Ross Geller : Ahh. Monica Geller : Do you love her? Ross Geller : We said it was only going to be two weeks, y'know? Monica Geller : You love her! Ross Geller : What-what is love really? Monica Geller : Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. You're probably just gonna catch her just as she's about to go to the gate. You're gonna call out her name and say, \"I love you!\" And she's gonna say, \"I love you, too!\" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud. Ross Geller : I am a good kisser. Monica Geller : Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in... I've been watching too much porn. Rachel Green : Is that the heartbeat?", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss his ex-girlfriend, Rachel, and how he still has feelings for her. They plan to go to the airport to confess their love to her before she boards a flight."}
-{"dialogues": "The Doctor : That's it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh wow! This is so cool. The Doctor : Have we talked about the possibility of multiple births? Phoebe Buffay : Why don't take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, I'll hold onto your card, okay? The Doctor : No, I'm getting three separate heartbeats. Phoebe Buffay : Three? You guys were worried I wouldn't even have one! The Doctor : Doctors are wrong all the time. Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah. Rachel Green : Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?!", "summary": "The Doctor detects multiple heartbeats during Phoebe's ultrasound, contradicting previous Doctors who were concerned about her having only one baby."}
-{"dialogues": "The Doctor : Definitely. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months I'm going to have three full grown babies just walkin' around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And it's gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out! The Doctor : Actually, giving birth to three babies isn't that different from giving birth to one. Phoebe Buffay : What do you know?! Alice Knight : Oh-oh, Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Hi! Alice Knight : Hi! So, how did it go at the doctors? Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, okay, hey, y'know how when you're umm, you're walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, \"Oh, that's nice?\" Frank Buffay Jr. : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, yeah well, good news, you're going to have three babies.", "summary": "Three babies will be born inside Phoebe Buffay in a few months."}
-{"dialogues": "Alice Knight : Three babies? Frank Buffay Jr. : I finally got my band! Alice Knight : We're gonna have a big family, I've always wanted a big family! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, I'm so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked. Frank Buffay Jr. : Why would we be freaked? Phoebe Buffay : No, no maybe 'cause it's harder to raise them, and the added expense, and... Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh. Alice Knight : Right. Phoebe Buffay : No, back to happy. Back to happy! Alice Knight : No-no-no, no, it's going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Y'know it'll-it'll be like my very own little sweatshop.", "summary": "Three babies on the way for Alice and Frank Jr., who are excited to start a big family. Phoebe is initially worried about the added expense and difficulty of raising multiple children, but Alice and Frank Jr. reassure her that everything will be fine. Alice teaches Home Ec and plans to have 30 students help make baby clothes all year round, joking about running a \"little sweatshop.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, I've been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job. Alice Knight : No, Frank. Phoebe Buffay : No you can't quit college! No! You're in college? Really? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, refrigerator college. Alice Knight : Yeah. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, y'know when we found out we were going to have a baby, y'know I figured y'know like I should y'know have like a career-and I love refrigerators! Phoebe Buffay : You can't give up on your dream. Frank Buffay Jr. : No, it's okay. We're-we're gonna have three kids! And that's-that's a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money. Ticket Agent : This is the boarding call for Flight 009. Ross Geller : Emily!", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr. wants to drop out of college and get a job after finding out he's going to have triplets with his girlfriend Alice Knight. Phoebe Buffay tries to convince him to stay in college, but Frank decides it's okay to give up on his dream. Meanwhile, Ross Geller boards a flight."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : Oh my God! What are you doing here? Ross Geller : I just, I had to see you one more time before you took-off. Emily Waltham : You are so sweet. Ross Geller : That's, that's, that's a big candy bar. I had the most amazing time with you. Emily Waltham : Me too. Ticket Agent : This is the final boarding call for Flight 009. Emily Waltham : Well, that' me. Here, have this. I'm only allowed one piece of carryon anyway. Ross Geller : Wait uh, listen. I-I, I have to tell you something. Umm, I've been thinking, I'm just gonna come out and say it. Okay? I-I-I ah, I-I think I love you. Emily Waltham : Oh. Thank you. Ross Geller : That's no problem.", "summary": "Ross confesses his love to Emily just before she boards a flight, but she thankfully gives him a gift instead of rejecting him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What's that song? It has been in my head all day long. Chandler Bing : It's the theme from Good Will Humping. Rachel Green : Y'know who doesn't even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah right. Rachel Green : No, he told me. He prefers to leave certain things to the imagination. Chandler Bing : Oh-oh, yeah, and did he also say that ah, some of the dialogue was corny and that he actually found it was funny and not sexy? Rachel Green : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he likes porn. Monica Geller : Where ya going? Rachel Green : I'm going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. Hey, Pheebs!", "summary": "Rachel's new boyfriend Joshua doesn't like dirty movies and prefers to leave certain things to the imagination. Chandler teases Joshua about this, asking if he also found the dialogue corny and not sexy. Joey agrees that porn is the way to go. Monica asks Rachel where she's going, and Rachel replies that she's off to investigate whether Joshua really thinks supermodels are too skinny."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : How did it go with Frank and Alice? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you about, 'cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me. Chandler Bing : They don't really talk to us about that kind of stuff. I can get you some free white out though. Monica Geller : Ohh! Did you do what I said? Did-did-did you tell her? Ross Geller : I did. Monica Geller : And well, what did she say? Ross Geller : Thank you. Monica Geller : Oh, you're totally welcome! What'd she say?", "summary": "Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies, which prompts Phoebe to come up with a money-making idea. Chandler offers free white out, but Monica and Ross are tight-lipped about insider trading information."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : She said, \"Thank you.\" I said, \"I love you.\" And she said, \"Thank you.\" Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa, wait a minute, did you say, you love her? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?! Ross Geller : What do I do now? Joey Tribbiani : You play hard to get. Ross Geller : She already lives in London. Joey Tribbiani : Then you go to Tokyo. Chandler Bing : All right look, forget it, forget it. You told her you love her, it's over. Monica Geller : It is not over! You're over! Chandler Bing : What?", "summary": "Ross tells Joey and Chandler that he told a girl \"I love you,\" but she already lives in London. Joey advises Ross to play hard to get, but Chandler says it's over since Ross expressed his feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You know! Chandler Bing : Okay. Good one. Monica Geller : It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldn't, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! But if she doesn't call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, y'know just to she what's going on, and, and she says she'll call me back, but then she doesn't. Then it's over. Joey Tribbiani : Way to be strong, man! Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi! Listen, can we watch cartoons on your television? We need a porn break. We spent the last two hours watching In & Out & In, Again. Rachel Green : Well, so, why don't you just turn it off? Chandler Bing : Because then we would be the guys who turned off free porn. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, good, you're hear! Okay.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a conversation about their relationship, with Monica revealing that she will call Chandler soon to confess her feelings. Ross tries to offer support but quickly becomes anxious about the situation. Joey and Rachel watch cartoons together and discuss their own relationships, while Phoebe enters the conversation unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : Well, what-what 'cha got there? Phoebe Buffay : Oh this, well I'm glad you asked. Now, don't you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? Ahh! Now, I know what you're thinking... Chandler Bing : Pregnant Woman Slays Four? Monica Geller : Phoebe, they didn't make you pay for those knives, did they? Phoebe Buffay : No! Monica Geller : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel Green : Honey, you're not gonna make enough money to help Frank and Alice just by selling knives.", "summary": "Phoebe has a new product idea - a tin can cutter that uses a steak knife to cut through tins. Monica wonders if Phoebe was charged for the knives, while Chandler makes an unrelated comment about a pregnant woman slaying four people. Rachel thinks Phoebe's idea is not practical and won't generate enough money to help her friends Frank and Alice."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan. Chandler Bing : What's the second part of your plan? Phoebe Buffay : My Saturn dealership. Ross Geller : Hello? Emily Waltham : Ross. Ross Geller : Emily, hi! Uh, how-how was you flight? Emily Waltham : It was dreadful. I felt terrible about how I acted when you said those wonderful things. Ross Geller : No, no, that-that, that's all right. Umm, I'm just glad you called. Emily Waltham : Ross umm, there's something that I've got to tell you, there's-there's someone else. Ross Geller : Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?", "summary": "Phoebe wants to open a Saturn dealership and needs to make enough money for the second part of her plan. Chandler asks about the second part of Phoebe's plan, and Ross overhears their conversation. Emily calls Ross and apologizes for her behavior after he said nice things to her. Emily then reveals that there is someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : She doesn't know which one of us she wants, me or this Colin guy. Monica Geller : This isn't how it's supposed to go, there can't be another guy. Ross Geller : Well... Monica Geller : Of course there's another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love! Ross Geller : I'm not proving anything. Okay, I'm done listening to you. If I hadn't let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place, I never would've put my fist through the wall! Chandler Bing : You put your fist through the wall? Ross Geller : No, I missed and hit the door. But, it opened really hard! Monica Geller : You have to go to London! Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Yeah, you have to go fight for her!", "summary": "Ross and Monica are discussing their relationship with a mutual friend, Colin. Monica believes that Colin is the only one for them, but Ross is unsure. They argue about whether or not they should go to London to fight for Monica's affections."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. 'Cause you already told her you love her and she didn't say it back, then she called you and told you that there's another guy, so yeah, go to London that'll scare her! Monica Geller : When Rachel was with Paulo, what did you do? Ross Geller : I made fun of his accent. Monica Geller : You sat back and let him have her, you didn't fight at all. Am I right? Do you want the same thing to happen with Emily? Ross Geller : No. Monica Geller : All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London! Ross Geller : Really? Monica Geller : Come on! Surprise her! Show up at her doorstep! Don't let her go without a fight! Ross Geller : All right. All right, I'm gonna do it! Monica Geller : All right.", "summary": "Ross wants to go to London to win back Emily, but Monica encourages him to fight for her and not let her go without a fight."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to London and I'm going to fight for her. Monica Geller : Okay, good luck! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross! If you're going to the airport, could you pick me up another one of those Toblerone bars? Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! I'm gonna open up my own massage place and Frank's gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesn't have to quit school! Monica Geller : That's sounds great, but how are you going to afford it? Rachel Green : Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised... Phoebe Buffay : I'm telling it! I'm telling it! Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. You know how people need transportation, but they also need massages to help them relax so I just figured we could combine the two, okay, I give the massages and Frank drives! I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back, and you know what I've got?", "summary": "Ross plans to go to London to fight for Monica, Joey asks Ross to pick up a Toblerone bar at the airport, Rachel and Phoebe come up with a plan to open a massage business together using Frank's help, and Monica questions how they will afford it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : A place where no one will ever get out alive? Phoebe Buffay : No! Think about it, it's a taxi that people take when they need to relax, it's... Rachel Green : Relaxi-Taxi! Phoebe Buffay : The name was my favourite part! Rachel Green : Well, well I can up with it! Phoebe Buffay : YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! That's not good. Rachel Green : Well, I... Monica Geller : Hello. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised?", "summary": "The group discovers a taxi service called \"Relaxi-Taxi\" or \"Reliable Taxi\" and has a heated debate over its name."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, because she hasn't come home yet. And she hasn't been home all night! She's obviously staying with that other guy, and I'm the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment! Monica Geller : All right. When is, when is the next flight out? Ross Geller : About four hours. Monica Geller : Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesn't show up by then, then just come on home. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, tell him about Relaxi-Taxi, and-and ask him if he thinks that's better than Relaxi Cab. Rachel Green : Okay, it's not Relaxi Cab. It's Relaxicab, like taxicab. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that is better. Chandler Bing : Are we in London? Monica Geller : What are you doing here? You can't be here! Emily Waltham : I've uh, I've come to talk to Ross.", "summary": "Ross spends the night outside Rachel's apartment after she doesn't return home, while Monica tries to book the next flight out to be with him. Phoebe suggests using Relaxi-Taxi instead of Relaxi Cab, and Chandler wonders if they are in London. Emily arrives to talk to Ross, causing tension among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : What? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing. No, nothing. Emily Waltham : I was going to call him, but... Monica Geller : Oh, you came to tell him you love him! I knew it! I was right! I'm right, right? Emily Waltham : I'd really rather talk to him. Monica Geller : Oh. Emily Waltham : I uh, I've been to his apartment and he wasn't there, and uh. I need to talk to him, so do you have any idea where he is? Emily Waltham : Ross, are you there? Ross, I don't know if you can hear this but... I'm gonna talk anyway, uh, I'm in the States with you sister and your friends and it's all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell you-Yes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you. Ross Geller : I love you too! I'm, I'm gonna call you right now from the phone booth! You can't hear me. Emily Waltham : I wish I could know if you'd heard any of that. I suppose I've either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if you're listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose there's not much chance you did heard that, and there's the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. Hello.", "summary": "Emily Waltham confides in Ross Geller about her feelings for him, but the conversation is interrupted by Joey Tribbiani and Monica Geller. Emily had been to Ross's apartment but he was not there, and she needs to talk to him urgently. Despite the interruption, Emily reveals that she has ended her relationship with Colin and is in the US with Ross's sister and friends. She expresses her feelings for Ross and wishes she could know if he had heard her confession."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi. Emily Waltham : Ross, I love you! Ross Geller : Ohh! Thank you. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didn't ask me to go do it with her in the vault. Joey Tribbiani : Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves! Chandler Bing : What, no, \"Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?\" Joey Tribbiani : Noo! Nothing! Chandler Bing : Y'know what, we have to turn off the porn.", "summary": "Ross and Emily confess their love for each other, but nothing comes of it. Chandler and Joey recount their disappointing experiences with women at banks and pizza delivery."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I think you're right. Chandler Bing : All right, ready? Joey Tribbiani : One. Chandler Bing : Two. Both : Three. Joey Tribbiani : That's kinda nice. Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's kinda a relief. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You wanna see if we still have it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah.", "summary": "A conversation about whether they can still perform their famous dance move from college."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : FREE PORN!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : We have free porn here!!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum. Phoebe Buffay : Ha-ha. No, it's just I'm so pregnant that I-my guitar doesn't fit anymore. So I thought 'til I'm not, I'm just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool! Chandler Bing : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Listen. Listen. Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Joey Tribbiani : Wow, Pheebs! That sounds great! Phoebe Buffay : I know! I know, and I've only been playing for like an hour!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey find free porn. Phoebe reveals she can't fit her guitar because of her pregnancy and plays it on a drum instead. They all sing \"Smelly Cat.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Alice Knight : Phoebe! Phoebe! Hi! Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! What are you doing here? Alice Knight : Umm, actually, I came down to ask you a big favour. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, don't tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my uterus. Alice Knight : No. No. No. Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR. Chandler Bing : Wouldn't that be Frank the III? Alice Knight : Don't get me started. Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! That's so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar. Alice Knight : You think about it. Emily Waltham : I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you don't think your son will think it's yours and be horribly traumatised?", "summary": "Alice wants to name one of her babies Leslie, but Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. Chandler suggests using III instead of JR. Phoebe and Alice discuss possible baby names, and Emily expresses concern about leaving a bra drying on the shower rod."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, if mommy can have a wife, daddy can have a bra. Emily Waltham : Ohh, it's time to go. Ross Geller : Oh, no-no-no, see, that-that clock's a little fast, uh, we have 17 minutes. Huh, what can we do in 17 minutes? Twice? Emily Waltham : Well that's ambitious. Ross Geller : Hey, uh, you can ignore that. Emily Waltham : That's Carol with your son! Ross Geller : Uhh, believe me when he's older, he'll understand. Carol Willick : Ross! Ross Geller : I'll be right there. Hello! Hello! Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan. Susan Bunch : Hey, it's so nice to finally meet you!", "summary": "Ross and Emily discuss the idea of same-sex marriage before being interrupted by Carol and Susan."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : Me too! Carol Willick : Ohh, y'know, Susan's gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week. Susan Bunch : Oh yeah, I'm so excited, I've never been there. Emily Waltham : Oh, well, I'll show you around. Susan Bunch : That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions... Emily Waltham : Oh, there's tonnes of terrific stuff-I'll go with you! Susan Bunch : Ahh! Ross Geller : Look at you two, bonding, making us late for the airport so... Emily Waltham : Are you all right? Susan Bunch : Oh, he's fine. He's fine. It's just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesn't like me.", "summary": "Susan will be shooting a commercial in London next week, and Emily offers to show her around. Susan also hopes to catch a show while she's there, and Emily suggests several options. Meanwhile, Ross is frustrated that Emily and Susan are bonding without him, as he has a difficult time with Susan due to his dislike for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh come on! That's-that's... true. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Do we have a baby name yet? Phoebe Buffay : Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book and found nothing! I want a name that's really like, y'know strong and confident, y'know? Like-like Exxon. Chandler Bing : Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ooh, Pheebs, you want a strong name? How about, The Hulk? Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm-I'm not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with \"The.\" Joey Tribbiani : Oh, want a good name, go with Joey. Joey's your pal. Joey's your buddy. \"Where is everybody?\" \"Well, they're hanging out with Joey.\" Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what, if you're gonna do that, if you're gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. Oh, come on! Chandler's funny, sophisticated, and he's very loveable, once you get to know him.", "summary": "Phoebe and her friends are trying to come up with a name for their baby. Phoebe wants a strong and confident name like Exxon, but Chandler suggests Joey as a funny and sophisticated option. Joey jokingly proposes naming the baby \"The Hulk,\" while Chandler pushes for his own name as a fitting choice."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, hey, Joey's loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, he'll be there. Chandler Bing : Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, he'll be there. And he'll bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that you're really hot. Joey Tribbiani : What do ya say? What do ya say? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. But, all right, I don't-maybe I'll just name him The Hulk. Joey Tribbiani : I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it! That's what I wanted to name my kid! Rachel Green : Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. Monica Geller : Y'know what? It really creeps me out choosing other people's sex clothes. Rachel Green : Sorry. I'm so exited! I've been waiting for this for months! I got my hair coloured! I got new sheets! I'm making him a very fancy meal. Monica Geller : Um-hmm. Rachel Green : What am I making him by the way?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over who will be there for each other, while Phoebe suggests naming their baby after someone they love. Rachel prepares for her first night with Joshua, but Monica is uncomfortable choosing sex clothes."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, you're making him a frieze salad with goat cheese and pine nuts, wild nuts, wild rice, roast asparagus, and salmon au croup. Rachel Green : I thought I was making him filet mignon? Monica Geller : Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you bitched about it, then you would stop cooking, and you would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke. Rachel Green : Wow, I really get crabby when I cook. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : So uh, Emily called last night... Chandler Bing : And now you're giving me the message! Ross Geller : Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, they're going to the theatre together! They're going to dinner! They're going horseback riding!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel disagree on a dish for Ross's dinner party, leading to a comedic exchange. Meanwhile, Emily calls Ross with plans to spend time together, but it turns out she has a crush on Susan."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : God, Susan is so fun! Ross Geller : Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for Like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was \"My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great.\" Chandler Bing : You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan? Ross Geller : Hey, they're going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Y'know they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playful-didn't you see Personal Best? Joey Tribbiani : No, but I'm gonna! Chandler Bing : Hi! Hi! You're crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight. Ross Geller : How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I definitely. I don't like the name Ross. Ross Geller : What a weird way to kick me when I'm down. Phoebe Buffay : No! No! I-I meant for the baby!", "summary": "Ross suspects that Emily and Susan are having an affair after they start going to the gym together. Chandler disagrees and thinks it's just a platonic friendship. Phoebe reveals that she doesn't like Ross's name and suggests naming their baby something else."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh. What's wrong with Ross? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's just y'know that something like this would never to like The Hulk, y'know... Ross Geller : Actually that-that's not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found... Y'know, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriend's a lesbian. Phoebe Buffay : So, I decided I'm definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler. Chandler Bing : Raymond Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Someone you didn't make up! Chandler Bing : Okay, there are no famous Joey's. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that guy really hurt us. Phoebe Buffay : Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if it's like y'know, Chanoey?", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss their relationships while referencing various TV shows and movies. Ross brings up The Incredible Hulk, but quickly moves on to his girlfriend being a lesbian. Joey and Chandler argue over who should be chosen as the name for their baby, with Chandler bringing up famous people named Chandler. Phoebe suggests a compromise of \"Chanoey.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, he'll never be President. There's never gonna be a President Joey. Joey Tribbiani : All right look man, I didn't want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! It's not even a name; it's barely even a word. Okay? It's kinda like chandelier, but it's not! All right? It's a stupid, stupid non-name! Chandler Bing : Wow, you're, you're right. I have a horrible, horrible name. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry man, I didn't-I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : So I guess it's Joey then! Joshua Burgin : This is so nice. Thank you for doing this. Rachel Green : Ohh, please! Cooking soothes me. Ahh. So, dig in! Joshua Burgin : Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good! Rachel Green : Hmmm!", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over their names, with Joey calling Chandler's name \"stupid\" and Chandler feeling self-conscious about his own name. Meanwhile, Joshua and Rachel enjoy a meal together."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh I know, my God, this is so-this rice is so-I am so good. Joshua Burgin : Behind you? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over. Joshua Burgin : Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. It's just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out! Rachel Green : Yeah, sure, okay. Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. Rachel Green : All gone! So, farm birds, huh? Joshua Burgin : Yeah, it's-it's my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I would've told you about it, but I didn't know they would be here. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Rachel and Joshua are in a kitchen when they notice birds outside. Joshua is uncomfortable around farm birds and wants them to leave. Joey enters the room and is surprised by their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : So, all right. Rachel Green : Okay. So, can I serve you a little of-What? What? What? Joshua Burgin : Nothing I uh, it's just that I know that they're still out there. Rachel Green : But, they're across the hall! I mean that's two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here. Joshua Burgin : Okay, that's-that's not funny. Uhh. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know, would you feel better if we went someplace else? I mean we could pack all this stuff up and y'know go to your apartment. Joshua Burgin : Oh, they're working on this week, it's a total mess. But uh, I'm staying at my parents' house, we could go there. Rachel Green : Your parents'? Joshua Burgin : Yeah, they're out of town. Rachel Green : Ohh.", "summary": "Rachel and Joshua are in a conversation about a situation involving monsters. They discuss whether or not they should stay in their current location or go somewhere else."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Yeah-yeah, it's this huge place, and-and it's got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say? Rachel Green : Yeah that works. Joshua Burgin : They-they-they can smell fear. Ross Geller : Hey! Carol Willick : Hey! How's Ben? Ross Geller : Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, \"No.\" I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, \"No.\" I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, \"No.\" So, he's sweeping. Carol Willick : Hey, Ben! Hey! Ross Geller : So umm, any word from Susan? Carol Willick : Ooh, yeah! She said she's having sooo much fun with Emily. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I don't know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at a restaurant with Joshua, who is trying to impress them with the view of the park. Ross mentions that Ben is sweeping, and Carol brings up Susan's trip with Emily, causing Ross to worry that they might be having too much fun without him."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : What's too much fun? Ross Geller : Y'know, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married. Carol Willick : Oh my God, you are so paranoid! Ross Geller : Am I?! Carol Willick : Yes! Ross Geller : Am I?! Carol Willick : I can't speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship. Ross Geller : Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Y'know? Say-say they're coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, they're laughing, y'know, someone innocently touches someone else... There's electricity, it's new. It's exciting. Are you telling me there isn't even the slightest possibility of something happening? Carol Willick : Maybe. Ross Geller : OH MY GOD!! I didn't really believe it until you just said it!!", "summary": "Ross suspects Susan may be cheating on him with someone she met at the theatre and is worried about the possibility of something happening between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : ...and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me! Rachel Green : Wow! This place is fabulous! Joshua Burgin : Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room. Rachel Green : Whoa-whoa, there's two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place must've been a real babe magnet. Joshua Burgin : Yeah, well, it would've been, but uh, my parents just moved here. Rachel Green : Ohh, you should know, this place is a real babe magnet. Wanna make out? Joshua Burgin : Hey, here's an idea. Why don't uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later? Rachel Green : That sounds like a plan. Umm, is there a place I can go freshen up? Joshua Burgin : Oh yeah, yeah uh, it's down the hall and uh, second door to your left. Rachel Green : Ah.", "summary": "Joshua swears that a duck pushed him, but none of his friends believe him. He shows Rachel around his new house, which has two living rooms. Rachel teases Joshua about how great it must have been to grow up there and suggests they make out. Joshua politely declines and offers to put the food in the fridge for later. Rachel asks if there is a place she can go to freshen up, and Joshua directs her to the second door on the left down the hall."}
-{"dialogues": "Mrs. Burgin : Oh, hi, darling! Joshua Burgin : Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here? Mrs. Burgin : Oh, well we cut the trip short. Mr. Burgin : France sucks! Joshua Burgin : Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here. Mrs. Burgin : Oh, say no more! Mr. Burgin : We'll just grab some food and take it with us right upstairs, and we'll be right out of you hair. Joshua Burgin : Oh, that-that would be great. So you didn't even get to Italy? Mr. Burgin : Yep, sucks! Rachel Green : Hi you!", "summary": "Mrs. and Mr. Burgin unexpectedly show up at their son Joshua's apartment, cutting short their trip to France. They express their disappointment with the country and Joshua reveals that he has a date with someone named Rachel Green. The Burgins quickly grab food and leave, leaving Joshua alone with his date."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : Oh my God! Rachel Green : I know, I can do more than cook. Mr. Burgin : I like her. She sees smart. Joshua Burgin : Uhh, Rachel, my parents... Rachel Green : Ohh! It's so nice to meet you. Hello. Mr. Burgin : Hi. Rachel Green : Hello. Mrs. Burgin : Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries. Rachel Green : What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is not-that's-that's not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see and-and, this is a real dress actually. It's-it's, they're-they're wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is too wear the clothes, and then I see how people respond, and then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdale's, so... And obviously in uh, in-in this case, I am going to report back, \"USA not ready.\" Mrs. Burgin : Maybe in L.A?", "summary": "Rachel Green works in fashion and is sent to Milan to showcase her designs. She impresses Joshua Burgin with her work, but his parents are hesitant about her due to her humble background. Mrs. Burgin suggests that Rachel may be more suited for a job in Los Angeles, where she can use her skills to help the city's fashion industry."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes! Joshua Burgin : There you go. Mr. Burgin : So, have you kids eaten yet? Rachel Green : Well, we were going to do that after-I mean umm, next. Mr. Burgin : Well, we're starving, why don't we all go get something to eat? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, well... Yeah, no use wasting this baby, just lyin' around the house. Mr. Burgin : So... We go eat. Rachel Green : Yes. Mr. Burgin : You'll wear that. We'll be eating, and of course, you'll be wearing that. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I am sorry about what I said!", "summary": "Rachel Green and Joshua Burgin are at a house with Mr. Burgin, who suggests they all go eat something together. Rachel agrees and they head out to eat. Joey Tribbiani joins them and apologizes for something he said earlier."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, no, you're right, it is a ridiculous name! Joey Tribbiani : It's not that bad. Chandler Bing : Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name. Joey Tribbiani : So, you're just Bing? Chandler Bing : I have no name. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so, what are we supposed to call you? Chandler Bing : Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint. Joey Tribbiani : No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint. Chandler Bing : Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Gene.", "summary": "Chandler wants a new name after being teased about his given name, but Joey and Phoebe struggle to come up with a suitable alternative."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It's Clint. It's Clint! Joey Tribbiani : See you later, Gene. Phoebe Buffay : Bye, Gene. Chandler Bing : It's Clint! Clint! Joey Tribbiani : What's up with Gene? Monica Geller : So, you wore your nightie to dinner? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh, no! Rachel Green : No, it's all right. I got nice boobs.", "summary": "Clint comes to visit, and Joey gets confused with someone else named Gene. Monica spilled water on Rachel's nightie during dinner, causing her breast to pop out unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together! Rachel Green : So? Ross Geller : So! Poetry? Susan's gay! They're being gay together! Monica Geller : Emily's straight. Ross Geller : Oh, wake up! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, Carol really messed you up! Ross Geller : Excuse me? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. All right, so I don't know what sycophant means, but the rest is right. Ross Geller : Look, I don't know what you're talking about, I am not a crazy, jealous person. Rachel Green : Huh.", "summary": "Emily and Susan are going to a poetry reading together, but Ross is jealous because he thinks Emily is straight and Susan is gay. Phoebe teases Ross about his reaction, calling him a \"sycophant\" (meaning someone who tries to win favor by flattering or appeasing someone)."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : She's totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark and there was nothing going on. Monica Geller : This totally makes sense! Ross Geller : It does not! Monica Geller : Oh, sure it does! In high school, you weren't jealous at all even though all your girlfriends were cheating on you! Phoebe Buffay : All right, all right, so up until '92-93 he was very trusting, then '94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city! Rachel Green : Absolutely! Absolutely! Monica Geller : This is so much fun! Ross Geller : This is not fun! Monica Geller : Look, all we're trying to say is, don't let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.", "summary": "Ross was trusting until a recent breakup (around 1994), and now he's paranoid about Emily cheating on him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. The '92 Ross wouldn't. Ross Geller : Well, I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing. Rachel Green : What-yeah-what, y'know what? I hope Emily is a lesbian. Phoebe Buffay : Drum roll. Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John? Joey Tribbiani : Nah, you're not tall enough to be a Mark, but you might make a good Barney. Chandler Bing : All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse. Phoebe Buffay : You're actually going through with this? Chandler Bing : Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, it's probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women... So, as of 4 o'clock tomorrow, I'm either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson. Phoebe Buffay : You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In fact-yes, I'm, I'm sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, I'm-I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna name the baby Chandler.", "summary": "Chandler wants to change his name because he believes it has held him back in life and caused problems with women. He plans to go to the courthouse the next day to legally change his name. Phoebe tries to talk him out of it, but he insists on going through with it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you have to keep the name too! Chandler Bing : Okay. Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Chandler Bing : You wanna hug it out? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Yay! Chandler Bing : Yay! Phoebe Buffay : Yay-oh-yay! Okay, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now! Chandler Bing : Okay!", "summary": "Frank and Alice are to be named."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, uh... Chandler Bing : Bye, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye! Chandler Bing : Ha! Ha! Ha! Joey Tribbiani : Ohh! Ross Geller : Nice luggage. Carol Willick : I was gonna say... Susan Bunch : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Emily Waltham : Hey! I missed you.", "summary": "Chandler says goodbye to Phoebe and then laughs. Joey exclaims \"Ohh!\" and Ross compliments him on his luggage. Carol mentions that she was going to say something, but Susan interrupts with a greeting. Emily then enters and expresses her happiness at seeing Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, I missed you too. Susan Bunch : Thanks for everything, I had such a great time. Emily Waltham : Oh, so did I. Ross Geller : No tongue. The Singing Man : Morning's here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the morning's here! The morning's here! Rachel Green : HEY!! Do you have to do that? It's Saturday! The Singing Man : Oh come on! Morning's here! Morning's here! The morning is here! Sunshine is here! Rachel Green : I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy! Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding? I love that guy! Morning's here! Morning is here- Rachel Green : Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.", "summary": "Ross and Susan share their gratitude for the time they spent together, while Emily joins in with her own enthusiasm. Ross hesitates to express his feelings, but The Singing Man interrupts with his morning greetings. Rachel enters the apartment and complains about the decor, leading to a heated exchange with Joey over his love for The Singing Man's performances."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did. Rachel Green : Monica, you don't even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor! Monica Geller : Y'know what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Monica Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : See, this is a great apartment. Monica Geller : Shut up! This place is a hole! Emily Waltham : Oh, blimey, I still can't believe you've got an earring! Ross Geller : Huh? I know, I know. Who am I? David Bowe? Emily Waltham : He does that?!", "summary": "Monica works hard to make their apartment nice but Rachel complains about it. Joey thinks it's great while Monica calls it a hole. Emily visits and is shocked by Ross's earring habit."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh, I don't know, whatever. Emily Waltham : I think it makes you look really dangerous. Ross Geller : Oh, I know. Y'know what, I never would've gotten this if it weren't for you. No really, when I'm with you I'm-I'm like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy! Emily Waltham : I love both of you! Ross Geller : Yeah? Emily Waltham : I wish I didn't have to go. Ross Geller : Then don't. Stay here. Just don't go so soon to London, just one more day. Emily Waltham : Ohh, Ross, please! Ross Geller : One more day, seriously/ Emily Waltham : Don't do this to me, again. You'd know I'd stay here in a minute, but I'd really miss so much work, they'll fire me.", "summary": "Ross and Emily have a conversation about him looking dangerous with his new haircut. They express their feelings for each other, with Ross saying he loves being around her and Emily wishing she didn't have to go to London. Ross tries to convince her to stay for one more day, but she declines due to work obligations."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So, then you can stay as long as you want. Emily Waltham : I wish I could. Ross Geller : Oh no. Don't, don't, don't start packing. Come on! Emily Waltham : I don't think you understand packing. Look, I just don't want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here. Ross Geller : Yeah, I know, I uh, I tried them on. Emily Waltham : You didn't! Ross Geller : No. No, I didn't. I didn't want to be that guy. Phoebe Buffay : Hello! Chandler Bing : Ho! Ho! Ho! Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me.", "summary": "Emily Waltham wants to stay with Ross Geller for as long as she wants, but he tells her not to pack. They have a funny conversation about Emily leaving her underwear behind and Ross trying them on. Phoebe Buffay enters and interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Your pants! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! You like 'em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants. Phoebe Buffay : What? Chandler Bing : Santa pants. Santa Claus's pants. Phoebe Buffay : Nuh-uh! They're maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. See, these names are good, and these names are bad. Ohh. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : So-Hey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know! How are the-the-the-the, y'know-You're clothes aren't funny.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Joey make a joke about Santa pants, leading Phoebe to defend her new maternity clothes. Rachel and Monica join in on the conversation, but Phoebe quickly loses interest and changes the subject to baby names."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, guys, what-what should I wear to a Knicks game? Chandler Bing : Uhh, a T-shirt that says, \"I don't belong here.\" Joey Tribbiani : You have Knicks tickets? Rachel Green : Yeah, my mom got my dad's season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me. Monica Geller : Yeah, apparently, they're pretty good seats. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor! Rachel Green : Do you guys want these? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Yeah we do!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel have Knicks tickets in great seats. Joey and Chandler want them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ohh, well you got 'em. Both : All right! Rachel Green : Just give us our apartment back! Phoebe Buffay : Boy! I didn't see that coming! Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Rachel Green : Oh, come on! We know what these are worth. Monica Geller : Yeah, what, do you think we're stupid? Joey Tribbiani : You're not stupid. You're meaner than I thought. Monica Geller : What do you say? Chandler Bing : Forget it! Okay, I'm not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe want their apartment back from Monica and Chandler, who are refusing to give it back despite its value."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You're bachelor pad?! Monica Geller : Have you even had a girl up here? Chandler Bing : No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you do! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Chandler Bing : Yes, Gunther, can I get two cups of chino, please? Gunther : Good one. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, season tickets! Season tickets, do you know what that means? Chandler Bing : Forget it! Okay, I'm not giving up the apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oh come-look, when I was a kid my dad's company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasn't in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!", "summary": "Joey and Chandler talk about their apartments, with Joey mentioning that he has had girls up to his apartment. Chandler reveals that Gunther, the coffee shop owner, has season tickets. Joey brings up his childhood experience of receiving season tickets from his father's company, despite his father not being in the sales division."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : We don't make enough fun of you already? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, Emily convinced me to do it. Chandler Bing : You do know that Wham broke up? Ross Geller : I like it, and Emily likes it, and that's what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing? Joey Tribbiani : Oh-no, don't try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear. Chandler Bing : Where is Emily? Ross Geller : Ugh, she's saying good-bye to her uncle.", "summary": "Ross and Joey make fun of Chandler for his haircut, which he got after Wham broke up. Emily convinced Ross to get the same haircut, but Chandler is unhappy about it. The group talks about their plans for the day, with Emily saying goodbye to her uncle."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Man, didn't she like just get here? Ross Geller : Yeah!! Yeah! Chandler Bing : Easy tiger. Ross Geller : I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, it's-it's so great. But at the same time I'm thinking, \"Well, I'm gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off.\" Chandler Bing : So what are you going to do? Ross Geller : Nothing! There's nothing to do! I mean, she lives there, I live here. I mean, she-she'd have to uh, move here. She should move here! Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : I could ask her to live with me! Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Ross Geller : I mean, why not! I mean, I mean why not?!", "summary": "Ross is picking up his girlfriend at the airport and is frustrated because he knows he will have to drop her off soon. Chandler suggests that Ross could ask her to move in with him, but Ross is unsure if it's a good idea. Joey chimes in and suggests that Ross could also ask her to live with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Because you've only known her for six weeks! Okay, I've got a carton of milk in my fridge I've had a longer relationship with! Ross Geller : Look guys, when I'm with her it's-it's-it's like she brings this-this-this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, y'know? Chandler Bing : And I love the milk! But, I'm not gonna some British girl to move in with me! Joey, you say things now. Joey Tribbiani : All right look, Ross, he's right. Emily's great, she's great! But this way too soon, you're only gonna scare her! Ross Geller : I don't want to do that. Joey Tribbiani : No! You don't want to wreck it, you don't want to go to fast! Ross Geller : Yeah, no, you're right, I know, you're right, I'm not, I'm not gonna do it. All right, thanks guys. Chandler Bing : Okay, no problem, just remember to wake us up before you go-go. Phoebe Buffay : That's too hard. Too hard! Monica Geller : All right boys, last chance for the tickets!", "summary": "Ross falls in love with a new girlfriend, Emily, but his friends warn him that he's moving too fast and might scare her off."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Or I'll give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua. Chandler Bing : No thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Wait-wait-wait-wait! Come on! Come on, let's trade! The timing's perfect, I just clogged the toilet! Chandler Bing : Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we can't leave in the small apartment after we've lived here! Didn't you ever read Flowers for Algernon? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Didn't you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didn't read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight! Chandler Bing : Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats. Joey Tribbiani : It's the Knicks! Chandler Bing : Screw the Knicks! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Chandler Bing : I didn't mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey want to trade their season seats for the Knicks game with Rachel, but Chandler wants a lot more than just the seats. They argue over the value of their current apartment versus the new one they could get in exchange for the seats."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Chandler Bing : And the Knicks rule all. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the Knicks rule all! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, so? Are you gonna do it? Chandler Bing : No. No. We're not gonna do that, y'know why? Because its not an even trade. Rachel Green : All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets? Joey Tribbiani : Done! Rachel Green : Let me finish. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Rachel Green : I'm talking about a bet, winner takes all.", "summary": "The friends are discussing sports and a potential bet involving the Knicks. Chandler is hesitant to make the trade because it's not an even exchange. Phoebe suggests they make a bet where the winner gets to keep the apartment and get the tickets. Joey quickly agrees to the bet, but Rachel has additional conditions."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, we could end up with nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Or you could end up with everything. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, I like that. Monica Geller : All right, so what do you say? Chandler Bing : No! Monica Geller : Oh, just do it!! Chandler Bing : Op, op, I'm convinced! Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, you know I'd do it for you! Because, you're my best friend. Chandler Bing : All right, but you can't use that again for a whole year. I'm in. Joey Tribbiani : All right!", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe argue over the potential risks vs rewards of a daredevil stunt, while Chandler and Monica debate whether or not to go through with it. In the end, Chandler agrees to do it, but only under the condition that Joey can't use his \"best friend\" line for a whole year."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet? Rachel Green : Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because she's the only who's impartial, and she's so pretty. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Umm, ooh, ooh-oh, I have a game! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : This is great! Joey Tribbiani : What's the game?! What's the game?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, it doesn't have a name-oh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesn't have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees? Monica Geller : They're green? Phoebe Buffay : Good! Good! Five points!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang plays a game called \"Phoebeball,\" where they try to guess Monica's favorite thing about trees."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, Joey, same question. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, they're tall. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy, leafy. Monica Geller : That's not even a game! Rachel Green : What? Shut up! We're winning! Monica Geller : You wanna finish this right now? All right, we get a deck of cards, high card wins. What do you say? Chandler Bing : Fine, let's do it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I have cards! Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Monica Geller : Oh, good.", "summary": " Plot Summary: The group plays a card game to determine who gets to finish a conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Here! Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay, you guys uh, you guys pick first Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Four. Chandler Bing : That's a low one! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Okay. Phoebe, you look, I can't. Phoebe Buffay : What make you think I can?! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay. Ace! Chandler Bing : Why are you screaming and hugging? Monica Geller : Because we won our apartment back!", "summary": "The group plays a game of cards, with Phoebe and Joey picking first. Rachel and Monica choose numbers four and five, respectively. Chandler selects a low number, causing Joey to exclaim \"Ace!\" The group then celebrates when they win their apartment back."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace! Monica Geller : No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four! Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! Ah-ha! Rachel Green : All right, cut, let's pick again, pick again. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Come on apartment! Come on apartment! Oh! I know queen is high! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh, not as high as... It worked! King! Chandler Bing : Yeah baby! Monica Geller : But, we pick again! We pick again! Joey Tribbiani : Why?!", "summary": "The group plays a game of \"Ace High\" and argues over who wins. They repeatedly pick cards and argue about whose hand is higher until they eventually give up and move on to another activity."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I don't know! Chandler Bing : Tickets please! That's courtside baby! Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, good game though. Good game. What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back! Chandler Bing : No they didn't! Ross Geller : Hey! Emily Waltham : I packed while you were gone. I left some knickers under your pillow. Ross Geller : Move in with me. Emily Waltham : What?! Ross Geller : Don't be scared, I-I know it sounds crazy and-and people will say it's too soon, but just-just think, think how great it will be. Emily Waltham : Ohh, no. Ugh. Oh, leaving London, my whole family lives there.", "summary": "Ross and Emily move in together after she leaves her fianc\u00e9 at the altar. Chandler and Joey argue over courtside seats for a basketball game. Monica returns from a trip with no luggage."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I know. Emily Waltham : My job! Ross Geller : Well, so, you-you'll get a job here! I mean, I'm always hearing about uh, them foreigners coming in here and stealing American jobs; that could be you! Emily Waltham : Yeah, but it-it-it's my whole life-you come to England. Ross Geller : No, I can't. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I can't leave him. Isn't-you don't think there's any way? Emily Waltham : Ohh, I don't think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future –and-and-and we were getting married or something. Ross Geller : What? Emily Waltham : Oh no, no, right I shouldn't have said married. Uh, please don't go freaky on me. I didn't mean it. Well, I didn't say it; I take it back! Ross Geller : No, no, don't. Why don't we? Emily Waltham : Why don't we what?", "summary": "Ross and Emily discuss her potential move to America for a job opportunity, but Ross is hesitant due to his son's presence in the country."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Get married. Emily Waltham : You are mad! Ross Geller : No! No! I'm not! It's-it's-it's perfect! I mean it's better than you just-just moving here, 'cause it's us together forever, and that's-that's what I want. Emily Waltham : We've only known each other for six weeks! Ross Geller : Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, who's-who's to say? Does that me we-we can't do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesn't it? Emily Waltham : My parents are going to be really mad. Ross Geller : Is that-are you saying yes? Is that yes? Emily Waltham : Yes. Emily Waltham : Yes! Ross Geller : Yes! We're getting married?!", "summary": "Ross and Emily get engaged after only six weeks of dating, much to the dismay of Emily's parents who are not happy about their daughter getting married so quickly. Despite this, Ross and Emily are determined to make their relationship work and decide to get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Yes! Emily Waltham : We're getting married! Ross Geller : Come here, come here. Uh, ow! Emily, will you marry me? Emily Waltham : Yes. Emily Waltham : Ohh, it's a bit small. Ross Geller : Damn! I thought that was going to be romantic as hell! Emily Waltham : It was. Chandler Bing : Those were like the best seats ever. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Y'know, kinda like a peace offering.", "summary": "Emily Waltham and Ross Geller are getting married after proposing to each other. Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani joke about giving them shirts as a peace offering for the small wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that's very nice. Plus, y'know they were free and they're too small. Chandler Bing : Oh. Oh, God! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, want a beer? WHOA!!!! Chandler Bing : I KNOW!!! Chandler Bing : Open up! Open up! Open up! Monica Geller : We'll discuss it, in the morning! Chandler Bing : What the hell is going on?! Rachel Green : We took our apartment back!! Phoebe Buffay : I had nothing to do with it. Okay, it was my idea, but I don't feel good about it. Chandler Bing : We are switching back, right now!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey discuss a recent event, with Chandler expressing excitement about receiving free items, while Joey offers him a beer. The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Chandler becomes agitated and starts yelling, causing Monica to intervene. Meanwhile, Rachel reveals that they have taken back their apartment, and Phoebe admits she was involved in the decision but doesn't feel good about it. Finally, Chandler insists on switching back to their original living situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, we're not! We're not leaving! Chandler Bing : Well, you're gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, we're switching it back! There's nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to move again! Chandler Bing : I don't care, this is our apartment! And they stole-you stole it-our apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. I'm getting back right now! Rachel Green : All right. We figured you might respond this way, so we have a backup offer. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You can't offer anything to us! Rachel Green : Let us keep the apartment and... Monica Geller : As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over their apartment, with Chandler insisting they won it fairly and squarely and Monica refusing to move. Joey is undecided, while Rachel has a backup offer for them to keep the apartment in exchange for a kiss."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Totally worth it! Joey Tribbiani : That was one good minute! Chandler Bing : Good night. Joey Tribbiani : Good night. Monica Geller : Men are such idiots. Rachel Green : Yeah! Can you believe that something that stupid actually got us our apartment back? Phoebe Buffay : That's so funny to think if you'd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all. Monica Geller : Yeah, let-let-let's pretend that's not true. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, scarf's done.", "summary": "The friends win their apartment back after a silly misunderstanding."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Come on! Come on. Come on. Chandler Bing : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : What-what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Ross has some big thing to tell everyone. Ross Geller : Uhh, okay, it's uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married. Phoebe Buffay : What? Oh, are you pregnant too?! Emily Waltham : Umm, no. Monica Geller : When, when did-how, how did you...", "summary": "Ross and Emily decide to get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : We, we just decided to uh, to go for it. Emily Waltham : I mean, we know it's a bit hasty but, uh, it just feels so right, so... Ross Geller : Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys... Rachel Green : Yeah, I-I heard. I think it's great! Ohh, I'm so happy for you! Chandler Bing : Oh, well, that's great! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! Monica Geller : I can't believe you're getting married! Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Monica and Rachel made out. The Singing Man : Morning's here! The morning's here!", "summary": "Ross and Emily are getting married unexpectedly but feel it's right. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are happy for them."}
-{"dialogues": "Both : Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the morning's here! The Singing Man : Hey! You're back! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Get into gear! The Singing Man : Breakfast is near! Both : The dark of night has disappeared!! The Singing Man : I'll see you tomorrow morning! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Chandler Bing : Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Joey. Joey. Joey. Joey! Joey!! Chandler Bing : Oh. Oh, did-did-did I wake you?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around the arrival of sunshine and the excitement of the characters. The Singing Man greets Joey Tribbiani, who responds with enthusiasm. They both comment on the clear sky and approaching breakfast. Chandler Bing enters the scene and interrupts their conversation with his sarcastic remarks."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Gunther, can I get another cup of coffee, please? So uh, what do you do when you're not working here? Gunther : You don't need to fill these silences. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay, thanks. Monica Geller : Chandler, that's like your fourth cup of coffee! Chandler Bing : Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because I'm exhausted! Because Joey started snoring! Monica Geller : He's in a different room! He's really that loud? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you should here me. Chandler Bing : It's not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic! Joey Tribbiani : Look, I told ya, I'm not going to any clinic! I don't have a problem, you're the one with the problem! You should go to a \"Quit being a baby and leave me alone\" clinic! Chandler Bing : They don't have those.", "summary": "Chandler drinks excessive coffee due to Joey's loud snoring in another room; Gunther suggests Chandler attend a sleep clinic."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, you've just had your first class! Monica Geller : Y'know I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over... Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh, yeah! Monica Geller : He would just roll me over and I would stop snoring. Chandler Bing : Next time you snore, I'm rolling ya over! Joey Tribbiani : I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it. Ross Geller : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey, all right! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, the Olympics.", "summary": "The group discusses snoring and how one person's partner would roll them over to stop snoring. Chandler jokes about rolling someone over when they snore again."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Have you guys picked a date yet? Ross Geller : Oh no, not yet. Phoebe Buffay : I still cannot believe you're engaged! Just 'cause its happening so fast; not 'cause you're such a loser. Ross Geller : Oh. Thanks. Uh, has anyone seen Rach? Monica Geller : Ugh, she's upstairs not doing the dishes! And I tell ya something! I'm not doing them this time! I don't care if those dishes sit in the sink until they're all covered with-I'll do them when I get home! Ross Geller : Yeah-oh! Hey listen umm, Emily found this wedding dress in London... Phoebe Buffay : Already?! Ross Geller : Yeah, but it didn't fit. Well, luckily there's a store here that has one left in her size, but I'm the groom, I'm not supposed to see the dress... Monica Geller : I'll pick it up for you! Ross Geller : Thank you.", "summary": "Ross and Emily are getting married, but Ross can't see the wedding dress yet because he's the groom. Monica offers to pick it up for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Oh, she's got you running errands, y'know, picking up wedding dresses... Wah-pah! Ross Geller : What's wah-pah? Chandler Bing : Y'know, whipped! Wah-pah! Joey Tribbiani : That's not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh! Chandler Bing : That's what I did. Wah-pah! Joey Tribbiani : You can't do anything! Rachel Green : Hey, Mon, I was just doing the dishes! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh! It's you. Hi.", "summary": "Monica asks Chandler to help her pick up wedding dresses, and he pretends to be excited but is actually annoyed. Joey corrects him on the proper term for \"whipped,\" and Chandler continues to use the incorrect term. Rachel enters the conversation and Monica greets her, and Ross chimes in with a playful hello."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, do uh, do you have a minute? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah, I was just about to take a break anyways, so... Ross Geller : So listen uh, I know you and I haven't really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : I know if you were getting married I'd feel, kinda..... y'know. Rachel Green : Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but I'm okay. Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : All right, I just wanted to check. Rachel Green : Oh, that's sweet.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel catch up after a while since their recent wedding decisions. They discuss how they feel about each other's decision and reassure each other that they are okay with it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You're great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there. Rachel Green : Uhh, hang in there? Ross Geller : Oh, no, I didn't mean, uh... Rachel Green : I mean maybe you didn't hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua? Ross Geller : Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didn't realise that had become anything, yet. Rachel Green : Oh, no-no-no, no-no-no, it has become, it has-yeah. Oh no, those were four great dates. Ross Geller : Oh. Yeah? Rachel Green : Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I mean, the connection, I mean y'know, emotionally, mentally, physically... Ross Geller : Wow, that's-that's-that's incredible. Rachel Green : I know isn't it? It's like I'm right there with Joshua.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their personal lives, with Ross expressing admiration for Rachel's relationship with Joshua. Rachel clarifies that they have been on four great dates but haven't defined it as a serious relationship yet."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Rachel Green : You are right there with Emily. And it's y'know, it's kinda like.... it's a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes. Ross Geller : I gotta get to work. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Fine. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know, y'know what would make me really happy? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, no, what's that? Ross Geller : If like the four of us could all y'know, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emily's coming into town this weekend, why don't you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night? Rachel Green : That would be great! Ross Geller : Yeah, all right, it's a date. Rachel Green : Hang in there. You hang in there.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their friends and their relationships. They mention Emily, who is coming to town the next day, and suggest having dinner together with the four of them on Sunday night."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Did you say something? Rachel Green : No, just singing. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ohh! Look at this one! It's so beautiful! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but y'know, about have of these are gonna end up getting divorced. The Saleslady : May I help you ladies? Monica Geller : Oh, yes, umm, I'm here to pick up a dress that you have on hold. The Saleslady : Yes, what's the name, please? Monica Geller : Emily Waltham. The Saleslady : Yes! I have it right here. Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham? Monica Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are shopping for a wedding dress at a store, while Phoebe makes negative comments about their relationships. A saleslady approaches and helps them find the dress they are looking for."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. Monica Geller : I am, aren't I? The Saleslady : Ms. Waltham? Monica Geller : Yes? The Saleslady : We're closing. Monica Geller : All right. The Saleslady : And could I get my ring back? Chandler Bing : All right buddy, time to roll over. No-no! No, no-n-n-n-no!! You are going to a clinic! You're going to a clinic, and a pyjama store! Monica Geller : Does she use the cups? Yes! I believe she does. Does she use the plates? Yes! I believe she does. Monica Geller : Oh. Thank you. Ohhh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you for coming. Uh, just a second!", "summary": "Monica Geller gets married in a beautiful ceremony, and her friend Phoebe Buffay compliments her on her beauty. A saleslady then approaches Monica and informs her that the store is closing. Monica asks for her ring back, and Chandler Bing becomes upset and starts yelling at her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No-no, let me in! Monica Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Can you just hold on for one minute? Phoebe Buffay : No, you have to let me in right now!! Monica Geller : Are you alone? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Monica Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : This sucks! I didn't know I had to stay up all night before I went to this stupid sleep clinic! I'm so tired! Chandler Bing : It's 6:00.", "summary": "Phoebe tries to enter Monica's apartment but Monica refuses, causing Phoebe to become insistent. Monica asks if Phoebe is alone and Phoebe confirms, leading Monica to allow her in. Joey complains about staying up all night before going to a sleep clinic, while Chandler reveals it's 6:00 AM."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well... Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think that's, I think that's really cool. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Rach, I think you're handling that really well. Rachel Green : Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? There's nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasn't for me and Joshua. Y'know, they're not gonna get married anyway! Chandler Bing : What? Rachel Green : Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast it's ridiculous! I mean, they're gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what they've done and they're call the whole thing off. I'm telling ya, you're gonna be dancing at my wedding before you're dancing at there's. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I don't dance at weddings. Rachel Green : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because weddings are a great place to meet women, and when I dance, I look like this...", "summary": "Ross and Emily are going out with Joey and Joshua for dinner, but Rachel is upset because she thinks they're rushing into their relationship. She believes they'll break up within a year and she'll end up marrying Chandler instead. Chandler doesn't dance at weddings due to his awkwardness on the dance floor."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey man. Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today? Chandler Bing : Nothing. Rachel Green : Nothing. Joey Tribbiani : I am... free! Ross Geller : Great! Because Emily and I are getting married in a month! Chandler Bing : What?! Ross Geller : Yep! Rachel Green : In a month?", "summary": "Ross and Emily are getting married in a month, but Chandler is shocked and doesn't know what to do."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : You mean, you mean 30 days? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : From now? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well, that's great. Ross Geller : Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but it's going to be torn down, so... I mean, I-I know it's crazy, but everything up 'til now has been so crazy, and I don't know, this just feels right. Y'know? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! That's the day after I stop menstruating! This isn't mine. Joshua Burgin : Hey, Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are planning their wedding, but they only have 30 days until the big day. They want to get married in a beautiful place that Rachel's parents got married in, but it's going to be torn down, so they're trying to figure out what to do. Joey and Joshua interrupt the conversation to share their thoughts on the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : What's up? You're voice sounded all squeaky on the phone. Rachel Green : Ohh, nothing, I just wanted to see you. See you and hug you. See you. Joshua Burgin : Great! Rachel Green : Yeah! Sit! Joshua Burgin : You okay? Rachel Green : I'm more than okay, I am really, really happy! Wanna know why? Joshua Burgin : Do I? Rachel Green : 'Cause I am really happy about us. I think we are, I think we are so on the right track! Y'know? I mean, I think we are working, I think we are clicking. Y'know? Joshua Burgin : Yeah, sure-sure, yeah, we're-we're-we're-we're-we're clicking. Rachel Green : Yeah-yeah, y'know if-if there was just like one little area where I-that I think we need-we would need to work on; I-I would think it was we're just not crazy enough!", "summary": "Rachel and Josh are happy in their relationship and feel like they are \"clicking.\" Rachel expresses her happiness and excitement about their future together, but also mentions a potential area where they could improve - being more \"crazy\" or spontaneous."}
-{"dialogues": "Joshua Burgin : I-I gotta say, I-I-I-I'm not too sure I agree with that. Rachel Green : Well, yeah, right, y'know what? Yeah, you're right, I mean, we no, we have our fun. Yeah! But if ......I mean, I mean like craaaazy! Y'know? Okay, all right. This is gonna, this is gonna sound y'know, a little umm, hasty, but uh, just go with it. Umm. Ugh. What if we got married? Joshua Burgin : What?! Rachel Green : Oh, I know, I know, it's-it's so, it's so totally like, \"Whoa! Can we do this?\" Y'know, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Don't you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, don't you think? Joshua Burgin : Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, you're a real special lady, but my divorce isn't final yet and, and, and we've been on four days, so I'm thinking \"No, but thanks.\" Gunther : YOU IDIOT!!!!! Sleep Clinic Worker : Your name, please? Joey Tribbiani : Joey Tribbiani. Sleep Clinic Worker : Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. Uh, sir? Chandler Bing : Yes he did.", "summary": "Joshua and Rachel consider getting married after only four days of knowing each other. Joshua hesitates due to his recent divorce not being finalized yet. Meanwhile, Joey stays up all night in preparation for a sleep study."}
-{"dialogues": "Sleep Clinic Worker : Alll right, we'll call you in a few minutes. Chandler Bing : Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she is. Wow! How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : What?! Chandler Bing : You're coming on to the entire room! I'm Chandler. Woman : I'm Marjorie. Chandler Bing : Hi. Marjorie : Hi. Chandler Bing : You mind if I... Marjorie : No, please.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are at a sleep clinic, where they meet a woman named Marjorie. Chandler is immediately attracted to her and makes a move on her, but she declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So uh, what are you in for? Marjorie : I talk in my sleep. Chandler Bing : What a coincidence, I listen in my sleep. Joey Tribbiani : So why don't you give me your number? Monica Geller : Okay, ready? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : I got it! Mine! Monica Geller : Congratulations! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you!", "summary": "Marjorie reveals she talks in her sleep, while Chandler admits he listens. Joey asks for Marjorie's number, and Monica offers to give hers to Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay! My turn! My turn! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Okay, ready? Monica Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : That was a terrible throw!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm not gonna right to you! That's not real! Monica Geller : Look at me! My big concern is what's real?! Oh my God. We're really sad, aren't we? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I think we are. Monica Geller : This isn't even my dress. Phoebe Buffay : Well, at least you didn't rent yours from a store called, \"It's Not Too Late.\"", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe have a conversation about a terrible throw, with Monica expressing confusion about what is real and Phoebe revealing that she rented her dress from an unreliable store called \"It's Not Too Late.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm changing out of this. Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Monica Geller : In like a half-hour? Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Monica Geller : Okay, throw it straight this time. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : I'm getting married next!! Phoebe Buffay : Yay! Phoebe Buffay : I hate my regular clothes now! Y'know? I look down and-and I know that this isn't gonna be the most special day of my life. Monica Geller : Yeah. I mean it was kinda fun for a while, but didn't you start feeling silly?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are getting ready to change into their wedding dresses and are excited about their upcoming weddings. Monica mentions that she will be getting married next, and Phoebe expresses her excitement and happiness for her friend's special day."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I guess. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh God. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're such a cheater! Chandler Bing : Hello! Little ones. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : So, is Joey gonna stop snoring? Chandler Bing : Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how'd that happen?", "summary": "Joey tries to ask a woman out, but she chooses Chandler instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Because I'm cooler. Monica Geller : No, seriously. Chandler Bing : Well she's, she's the kinda girl-Joey was unconscious. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys! What's happening? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : What is that? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and it's gonna help me not to snore. Monica Geller : Well, are you asleep right now, Joe? 'Cause I don't think you have to wear it unless you are! Joey Tribbiani : I know I don't have too! It tastes good. Chandler Bing : Plus, you look cool.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue over a girl they both like, while Joey is at a sleep clinic wearing a snore-reducing device that tastes good. Phoebe is confused by the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I just called Joshua... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how did it go? Rachel Green : Well, I did my best to convince him that I'm not some crazy girl who is dying to get married-I'm just going through a hard time. Phoebe Buffay : What did he say? Rachel Green : Well uh, his answering machine was very understanding. Ugh. I feel blue. Monica Geller : Ohh, sweetie! Hey, I bet you anything that he's gonna call you again. Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe, but I don't think I even care. I don't think he's the one I'm sad about. Y'know, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I don't think I'm handling it all that well. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, maybe. Rachel Green : And I-I am just trying to figure out why. Phoebe Buffay : Any luck?", "summary": "Rachel tries to convince Joshua she's not crazy and doesn't want to get married but his answering machine is unhelpful. Monica thinks he will call her again. Rachel reveals she's actually upset about Ross getting married despite saying she's fine with it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, yeah, y'know how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again. Monica Geller : Again. Y'know what? I think we all did. Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernie's at 9 o'clock? Rachel Green : Yeah, well, you uh, better make it for three. Ross Geller : Oh, see I-I don't know if we're gonna be hungry at three. Rachel Green : Three people. Joshua's not gonna be there. Ross Geller : What happened? Rachel Green : Uh, well, I think, I think he broke up with me.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a history of on-again, off-again romance, but she assumes they'll reconcile eventually. Monica makes reservations for Sunday night at 9 pm. However, Ross isn't sure if they'll be hungry then and Rachel clarifies that there will be three people, not including Joshua who has broken up with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Noo. Why? Rachel Green : Well, apparently he scares easy. Ross Geller : Oh, Rachel, I'm-I'm sorry. Rachel Green : It's okay. Sometimes, things don't work out the way you'd thought they would. Ross Geller : Come here. Rachel Green : Oh, hey, don't you have to go pick up Emily? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : You okay? Rachel Green : Yeah! I got my girls.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss why he didn't ask her out, with him saying he scares easily and her being understanding. They share a moment of affection before Ross has to leave to pick up Emily."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ugh. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, y'know what might cheer you up? Rachel Green : What? Rachel Green : Y'know, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood. Monica Geller : Oh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. Maybe someday, there will be. Monica Geller : Oh God! He's gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date! Rachel Green : Oh, okay! Monica Geller : No-no, Rachel, don't get it! He can't see us! Phoebe Buffay : No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride! Rachel Green : I'm not gonna marry Chandler!", "summary": "Rachel considers Phoebe's suggestion to lift her mood but is hesitant about Monica's idea of dressing up for a hypothetical job. Monica worries that their friend might borrow candles for his big date, and Phoebe reveals a superstition about the bride not being seen before the wedding. Rachel decides she doesn't want to marry Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Not after this! Rachel Green : Okay, you guys, just relax. I doooo. Joshua Burgin : I gotta go. Rachel Green : Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! Yeah, well, that oughta do it. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! I am trying to sleep! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? It seems like all of the sudden; so much has happened. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Ross is getting married. Chandler Bing : Phoebe is, making people. Joey Tribbiani : Everybody's doing stuff! Chandler Bing : And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!", "summary": "Ross is getting married and everyone is doing their own thing while Chandler and Joey sit around feeling unfulfilled."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : We could climb Mt. Everest! Chandler Bing : No-no, not something stupid, something huge. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no, I saw an ad for this video, people climb that thing everyday! We could totally do that! Chandler Bing : Why not?! I mean it's just, it's just climbing! It's just, it's just steep! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : We're going to Everest! Okay, it would be nice to leave an ass print on Everest! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : What-what's up? Joey Tribbiani : We're gonna climb Mt. Everest!", "summary": "Climbing Mt. Everest"}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah baby! Phoebe Buffay : Really?! I looked into that. Yeah, but, I mean it costs like $60,000 and y'know you can die. And, you would die! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well... Joey Tribbiani : We could get that Everest video though. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we could do that without y'know risking our lives at all! Joey Tribbiani : And while we're down at the video store, you know what else we could rent? Die Hard! Oh, y'know what? I just remembered, that Everest thing is only available through mail order. Chandler Bing : Oh, well... Phoebe Buffay : So you guys'll stay here and hang out with me? Chandler Bing : Yeeeeahhhh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yeah.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey want to watch a dangerous video about climbing Mount Everest, but Phoebe warns them that it's too expensive and could be deadly. They consider renting \"Die Hard\" instead, but realize it's only available through mail order. In the end, Chandler and Joey decide to stay with Phoebe instead of taking on a potentially dangerous adventure."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : But I'll tell you something. One of these days we're get off of our buts and rent Die Hard again! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah we are! Emily Waltham : So what did he decide? Does your Uncle Nathan get an invite or not? Ross Geller : Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and he's so cheap, he'd never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? Emily Waltham : Yeah, they're fine. Ross Geller : Yeah? Emily Waltham : If anyone asks, we'll just say Ben addressed them. Oh! So you invited Rachel then? Ross Geller : Sure. Why not? Emily Waltham : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel invite Joey and Chandler to a party in London, but Ross's cheap uncle Nathan is not invited."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : I don't think I'd be comfortable with any of my old lovers there. Ross Geller : Wait-wait-wait, do you, do you think, maybe we shouldn't invite her? Emily Waltham : Oh, no-no, y'know I absolutely adore Rachel it's just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But it's absolutely your decision. More tea? Ross Geller : Yeah sure. Emily Waltham : Earl Grey? Ross Geller : Huh? Yeah, fine, invite whoever you want. Ross Geller : I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again! Chandler Bing : And I just want a million dollars! Monica Geller : Rachel?! Rachel Green : Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!", "summary": "Emily Waltham and Ross Geller discuss inviting her old lovers to their wedding, with Emily expressing discomfort at the idea. Ross ultimately decides not to invite any of his past lovers. Chandler Bing and Monica Geller make brief appearances, with Chandler expressing a desire for a large sum of money and Monica reuniting with Rachel Green."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? Rachel Green : Hi, sure! Ross Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you. Rachel Green : I knew. Ross Geller : You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother. Rachel Green : I did. Ross Geller : Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here-but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe? Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe... Ross Geller : Okay... okay, maybe I will...", "summary": "Ross has a crush on Rachel in high school and finally musters up the courage to ask her out."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : See, I see.... big passion in your future. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : I do. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, you're so great. Joey Tribbiani : It's never gonna happen. Ross Geller : Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um.... Rachel Green : Ohhh!!!! Ross Geller : Yes, yes, that's right...", "summary": "Ross wants to ask Rachel something but is too nervous."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, look at the little cat! Look at it! Ross Geller : What? Ow! Joey Tribbiani : I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find... Rachel Green : All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it! Rachel Green : Yes! Did you see that? Ross Geller : You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen. Rachel Green : I could not have done this without you. Ross Geller : Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? I'm fine, I'm fine. Ross Geller : You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me. Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over a cart, while Joey brags about his newfound success. Rachel thanks Ross for his help, but he tells her he's not fine after she reveals her past feelings for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you. Rachel Green : Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie? Ross Geller : The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed. Rachel Green : Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross. Ross Geller : Fine. Rachel Green : 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship. Ross Geller : Good. Rachel Green : Good. Rachel Green : Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I'm doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I'm doing something that I'm actually good at. I mean. if you don't get that... Ross Geller : No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I'm happy for ya, but I'm tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don't know what to do anymore.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about his feelings for Julie and how he was with someone else before he met her. Rachel expresses her own emotions and tells Ross that she is doing something she cares about for the first time in her life."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well neither do I! Ross Geller : Is this about Mark? Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : Okay, it's not, it's not. Rachel Green : Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you're, you're, you're making this too hard. Ross Geller : Oh I'm, I'm making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do. Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, fine, you're right. Let's ah, let's take a break, let's cool off, okay, let's get some frozen yogart, or something.. Rachel Green : No. A break from us. Chloe : Do I know why we're rushing?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a recurring argument about Mark, with Rachel feeling frustrated and unsure of how to move forward. They decide to take a break from each other, but Rachel ultimately decides she needs space from their relationship as well."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!! Chloe : That's so great for you guys! Ross Geller : Yeah! Chloe : Good luck, with your girlfriend. Ross Geller : Oh, thank you. Hey, hey. Rachel!!!! Rachel Green : Hi. Ohhh, you got my message. Ross Geller : Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time. Rachel Green : So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again? Ross Geller : Yes, you can, very much. Ross Geller : Ahhhh!!", "summary": "Ross's ex-girlfriend wants to get back together with him. He is excited and thanks Chloe for her support. Rachel, his current girlfriend, arrives and offers to be his girlfriend again. Ross accepts."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here! Ross Geller : No!! Rachel Green : Just get out! Now!! Ross Geller : No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this. Rachel Green : Okay! All right! How was she? Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Was she good? Joey Tribbiani : Don't answer that. Rachel Green : Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, let's talk about it!! How was she?", "summary": "Rachel wants Ross to leave and he refuses, wanting to stay and talk about their relationship. Chandler and Joey try to avoid discussing Rachel's new girlfriend, but Ross presses on."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : She was... Joey Tribbiani : Awful! Horrible! Chandler Bing : She was not good. Not good. Joey Tribbiani : She was nothing compared to you. Ross Geller : She, she was different. Joey Tribbiani : Ewwwww! Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Rachel Green : Good different? Ross Geller : Nobody likes change. Ross Geller : What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.", "summary": "Ross and Joey disagree about a woman they both liked, while Chandler tries to intervene but fails. Rachel enters the conversation and adds her own opinion."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much you've grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, \"Once a cheater, always a cheater.\" Ooh, I just wish we hadn't lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective... Ross Geller : WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!! Rachel Green : You seem to really like her. Ross Geller : Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, y'know no commitment. Rachel Green : Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica's photo albums, I mean you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks. Ross Geller : You think? Rachel Green : Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and you're sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip. Ross Geller : Hey, you're right. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Ohh, this is soo amazing! I can't believe my brother's getting married! And in London! It's so romantic!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are discussing their relationship after she admires his growth in owning up to his mistakes. Ross brings up how he was initially hesitant to commit due to a previous break in their relationship, but Rachel believes he has genuine feelings for her now."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, pretty smart! Tissue paper! You're at the wedding, you have to cry, \"Handkerchief?\" \"No-no, I got my invitation.\" Phoebe Buffay : Oooh look! Isn't this adorable, Ross let Ben address mine! Chandler Bing : Hello! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Hey, did you get your invitation to Ross's wedding? Chandler Bing : Noo. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry man, I get to bring a guest. We'll show him. Phoebe Buffay : I'm so jealous you're all going! I can't believe I never knew that you can't fly in your third trimester! Chandler Bing : I didn't know that.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group plans to attend Ross's wedding, but Chandler doesn't receive an invitation. Joey offers to bring a guest to show off his invite, while Phoebe expresses jealousy that she couldn't attend due to flying restrictions in her third trimester."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I never knew that either. Joey Tribbiani : I knew that! I sooo didn't know that, but you should see your faces. Rachel Green : Hey guys! What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Heyyy. Monica Geller : We're hanging out. Rachel Green : What's this? Is this Ross's wedding invitation? Chandler Bing : See, maybe that's the one we should've actually hidden. Rachel Green : Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you don't have to do that! I'm happy for him! I am! I really-I'm-I'm happ-I'll work on it. Monica Geller : I'm sorry honey. Rachel Green : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross is getting married again, and his friends are hiding his wedding invitation to avoid attending."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rach, you're gonna come though aren't you? Rachel Green : Oh, honey, I don't know. I... Chandler Bing : This isn't one of those uh, y'know \"If she doesn't come, we-we don't, we don't come?\" Right? Because I already bought my ticket... Monica Geller : You know what would be real weird? Is if you weren't there. Just say you'll think about it, okay? Rachel Green : No, I'll think about it. Yeah. Rachel Green : Who's this from? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's Ross's. Rachel Green : Oh... Oh my God. He remembered. Phoebe Buffay : Remembered what? Rachel Green : It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!", "summary": "Rachel is unsure if she will come to a gathering with Monica and Chandler, leading to a series of jokes and banter between the three. Meanwhile, Phoebe recounts a past memory involving Rachel's grandmother and an antique store."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune. Monica Geller : I can't believe he did this. Chandler Bing : Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck? Rachel Green : What did you just say? Chandler Bing : F-hah.... flennin.... Rachel Green : Oh.... my God. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Julie : Well, Ross and I were in grad school together. Ross Geller : But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig. Rachel Green : Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick- you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel run into an old friend from grad school, Julie, who is now in charge of an archaeological dig in China."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. Well you didn't hang up either. Rachel Green : She didn't hang up either... Ross Geller : Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y- Rachel Green : Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat......I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. Ross Geller : Rach, I got a message from you. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . Ross Geller : You're over me? Rachel Green : Ohhhhhhhh God. Ross Geller : Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me? Rachel Green : Ohh, ohh.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation on the phone, with Rachel revealing that she has moved on from their relationship and is happy for Ross and his cat. Ross is taken aback and tries to convince her to give him the phone so he can talk to her more, but Rachel insists she is over him and hangs up the phone."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : When, when were you... under me? Rachel Green : Well, basically, lately, I've uh, I've uh, sort of had feelings for you. Ross Geller : OK, I need to lie down. Joey Tribbiani : He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Really. It's always been you, Rach. Rachel Green : Oh, god. Chandler Bing : Ohhh. Ross Geller : I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. Rachel Green : Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight.", "summary": "Rachel confesses her feelings for Ross, who is taken aback and needs to lie down. Joey encourages Ross to hug Julie, but Ross reveals he broke up with her. Rachel and Ross have always had feelings for each other, and Chandler teases them about their complicated relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. Ross Geller : What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. Ross Geller : Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didn't say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place. Gunther : I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to? Ross Geller : Y'know, hey! You're the one who ended it, remember? Rachel Green : Yeah, because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you! Ross Geller : You still love me? Rachel Green : Noo. Ross Geller : What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together? Rachel Green : Noo! Maybe! I, I don't know.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about a spilled juice box, leading to a conversation about their past relationship and whether they still have feelings for each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : I just, I feel, I-I just... Rachel Green : Y'know I can't believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!! Ross Geller : FINE BY ME!! Rachel Green : And hey! Just so you know, it's not that common! It doesn't happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!! Chandler Bing : I KNEW IT!!!! Judy Geller : Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... Rachel Green : Oh my God. Monica Geller : You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past relationship, with Rachel expressing doubts about getting back together. Ross agrees, but Chandler interrupts to excitedly declare that he knew it would happen. Meanwhile, Monica comments on Rachel's appearance as she approaches."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this. #ALL# : Oh yeah we do. C'mon. Judy Geller : Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica. Jack Geller : Wait, how do you zoom out? There she is. Monica Geller : Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds. Chandler Bing : Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you? Monica Geller : Oh, dad, turn it off. Jack Geller : It is off. Right Ross? Joey Tribbiani : Lookin' good Mr. Cotter. Rachel Green : I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.", "summary": "The group decides not to watch a video, but Judy insists they do. Monica appears in a shot, and Jack asks how he can zoom out. Chandler jokes about cameras adding weight, and Monica shuts off the camera. Rachel says she can't go to her prom without a date."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : If you're not going then I don't want to go either. Judy Geller : I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off. #ALL# : No, no, no. Ross Geller : OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright. Jack Geller : C'mon kid, let's go. Judy Geller : Ahh, are you hadsome. Jack Geller : Let's show 'em. Ross Geller : Okay dad. Jack Geller : Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining-Oh no.", "summary": "Ross wants to turn off a TV show they are watching with Monica and Judy, but they insist on continuing. Jack suggests taking Rachel to the prom, which Ross reluctantly agrees to do."}
-{"dialogues": "Chip Matthews : Bye. Judy Geller : Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off? Monica Geller : I can't believe you did that. Ross Geller : Yeah, well. Phoebe Buffay : See, he's her lobster. Monica Geller : Nooooo. You're really not going? Rachel Green : Yeah. It's just gonna be too hard. Y'know? I mean, it's Ross. How can I watch him get married? Y'know it's just, it's for the best, y'know it is, it's... Y'know, plus, somebody's got to stay here with Phoebe! Y'know she's gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour. Monica Geller : You don't have a car. And your license expired. Rachel Green : I know. Yeah, see, there's so much to do and I have so little time to do it in. Chandler Bing : All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that there's a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! \"It's almost as good as being there.\"", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are getting married, but Rachel doesn't want to attend because it's too hard for her. Monica and Judy are having trouble turning off a TV, while Phoebe believes that Ross is her lobster. Chandler finds a video rental service that offers museum videos, which he thinks is almost as good as being there."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It's better! You can't go to a museum in your underwear! Chandler Bing : Well, You could, but... probably just the one time. Joey Tribbiani : I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside! Chandler Bing : If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood! Phoebe Buffay : That's like the tenth time I've peed since I've been here! Monica Geller : That's also like the tenth time you told us. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, oh I'm sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, it's a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! I'm so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, 'cause-Oh! I'm pregnant! Ross Geller : Pheebs, did...you want a cookie? Phoebe Buffay : Thank you so much.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler come up with a plan to watch videos of museums instead of going outside, but they change their minds when they suggest watching Die Hard. Meanwhile, Phoebe has been constantly peeing, and Monica is tired of hearing about it. Ross offers her a cookie to cheer her up."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming? Phoebe Buffay : I haven't really had any yet. Ross Geller : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : All right, here's the ring. Chandler Bing : Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes! Ross Geller : So uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet? Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, don't you have to decide who your best man is gonna be? Chandler Bing : Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward. It's awkward.", "summary": "Ross plans to propose to Rachel and asks his friends for ideas on how to celebrate. However, they can't agree on who should be the best man, causing tension among them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I sort've already asked Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : What?! He got to do it at your first wedding! Ross Geller : Joey, I figured you'd understand. I mean, I-I've known him a lot longer. Joey Tribbiani : Come on Ross! Look, I-I don't have any brothers; I'll never get to be a best man! Chandler Bing : You can be the best man when I get married. Joey Tribbiani : I'll never get to be a best man! Ross Geller : Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, you-yeah, of course you get to be my best man. Joey Tribbiani : What about me?! You-you just said I could! Chandler Bing : I'm not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over who will be the best man at their weddings. Joey feels left out and wants to be the best man, but Chandler says he's not getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you're not picking me. Ross Geller : Hey, how can it not be me?!HeyHey! Chandler Bing : I'm not even... I'm not even... Ross Geller : Fine, y'know what, that's it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Shame about you man. Phoebe Buffay : Stop it! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : One of the babies is kicking. Monica Geller : I thought that was a good thing. Phoebe Buffay : It's not kicking me, it's kicking one of the other babies. Oh ! Don't make me come in there!", "summary": "Ross chooses Joey as his best man instead of Chandler after a disagreement. Phoebe reveals that one of the unborn babies is kicking, but Monica misunderstands and thinks it's a positive thing."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow? Monica Geller : Yeah, there's one right under the cabinet. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Monica Geller : Why do you need it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, we're having a big party tomorrow night. Later! Rachel Green : Whoa! Hey-hey, you planning on inviting us? Joey Tribbiani : Nooo, later. Phoebe Buffay : Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!!", "summary": "Joey needs a large bowl for a party he's hosting the next night. Monica provides one and Joey thanks her. When Monica asks why he needs it, Joey lies and says they're having a big party. Rachel asks if she and Phoebe are invited, but Joey brushes them off."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hormones! Monica Geller : What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come you're having a party and we're not invited? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's Ross's bachelor party. Monica Geller : Sooo? Joey Tribbiani : Are you bachelors? Monica Geller : Nooo! Joey Tribbiani : Are you strippers? Rachel Green : Nooo! Joey Tribbiani : Then you're not invited. Rachel Green : All right fine! You're not invited to the party we're gonna have either.", "summary": "Ross is having a bachelor party, which leads to Monica and Joey questioning why they were not invited. Monica and Joey are not bachelors or strippers, so they are not invited to either the bachelor party or the potential party that Rachel suggests they have instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh-whoa, what party? Rachel Green : Well umm... Monica Geller : The baby shower for Phoebe! Joey Tribbiani : Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I don't want to do! Later! Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe I'm gonna have a party! This is so great! A party! Yay!! I don't know why. Joey Tribbiani : This is what I've got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor. Ross Geller : Great. Great. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, I've got you, me, and Chandler and I'm gonna invite Gunther 'cause, well, we've been talking about this pretty loud. Gunther : I'll be there. Joey Tribbiani : All right-oh! Listen, I know this is your party, but I'd really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.", "summary": "Phoebe is having a baby shower and Joey is not thrilled about attending. Rachel, Monica, and Ross also express their opinions on the matter. Meanwhile, Joey is focusing on the drinks for the party and Gunther has agreed to attend."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. Tell ya what, let's not invite any of the anthropologists, only the dinosaur dudes! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! We'll need a six-pack of Zima. Chandler Bing : Hey guys, what are you doing? Ross Geller : Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one. Ross Geller : Yeah, see, I don't think it's gonna that difficult considering this one won't be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm Ross. I'm Ross. I'm too good for the Hut; I'm too good for the Hut. Ross Geller : Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay? Joey Tribbiani : You got it. Ross Geller : Okay, see ya later.", "summary": "Ross plans his bachelor party with only his best man and no anthropologists, but things get complicated when Chandler brings up the previous party in a basement Pizza Hut. Joey agrees to keep the party mellow and not include strippers."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : See ya. Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party. Joey Tribbiani : Well, there's gonna be strippers there. He didn't say anything about no strippers. Chandler Bing : He just said, \"No strippers.\" Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I chose not to hear that. Monica Geller : Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! Can you believe they make these for little people? Rachel Green : Little village people. Monica Geller : Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. Rachel Green : Oh, that is so sweet! Monica Geller : I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these! Rachel Green : Huh. Except, Phoebe's not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey plan a bachelor party with strippers, but Chandler specifically said no strippers. Monica shows off her new purchases of dollhouse furniture and dresses for little people, exciting Rachel and Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Because she's not gonna get to keep the babies. Rachel Green : Oh my God! We are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever! Monica Geller : Wait a minute! Unless, we give her all gifts she can use after she's done being pregnant. Like-like umm, regular coffee, Tequila. Rachel Green : Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants she's always wanted! Monica Geller : Oh, she's gonna love that! Phoebe Buffay : What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I can't use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, what's my next present?! #ALL# : I don't have anything. Ross Geller : Hey listen man, about the stripper... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Ross Geller : Good call!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel throw a depressing baby shower for Phoebe, who is two months pregnant. They give her gifts she can use after the birth of her baby, such as regular coffee and tequila. Phoebe is not impressed and asks for more practical gifts. Ross suggests hiring a stripper for the party, but Joey vetoes the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. I've decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther! Gunther : What's my last name? Chandler Bing : Central Perk? Gunther : Thanks for not marrying Rachel. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther don't-don't forget your shirt. Ross Geller : Hey-hey, what are those? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, little party favours, check it out! Ross Geller : Wow! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, so is the position of the bride.", "summary": "Chandler appoints Gunther as his best man, but then changes his mind. Joey and Ross provide humorous reactions."}
-{"dialogues": "The Stripper : Great! Ross Geller : Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. Thanks Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, don't forget your shirt. Ross Geller : Oh, thanks! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, hey, museum geeks, party's over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parent's basement. All right. Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right. The Stripper : Ohhh, look at the little birdies! Are those yours? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! The Stripper : Wow, I didn't know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. Hardly move. Be white. The Stripper : You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have fun at a party, but Joey forgets his shirt and Ross thanks everyone for coming. The stripper enters and interacts with Ross and Joey, impressing them with her bird training skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin' ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday... The Stripper : Yeah, that would be great. So I guess umm, good night. Joey Tribbiani : Oh unless you uh, you wanna hang around. The Stripper : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, stripper! Joey Tribbiani : The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring! Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : The ring is gone! Chandler Bing : Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for this-Ah-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! You're the worst best man ever!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani and a stripper he meets. They exchange pleasantries before Joey invites the stripper to hang out with him and his friends. The stripper declines and leaves, but not before taking Joey's ring. Chandler finds out and teases Joey about losing the ring, calling him the worst best man ever."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Dude, this isn't funny! What am I gonna do?! I go to bed last night, everything's cool! I wake up this morning, the stripper's gone and the ring is gone! Chandler Bing : You slept with the stripper? Joey Tribbiani : Of course!! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, guys. Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe. Monica Geller : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : I-I wanted to apologise if I-y'know seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Y'know it's just the hormones, y'know. Rachel Green : No we... Monica Geller : Hormones. Rachel Green : ...hormones, yeah.", "summary": "Joey slept with a stripper and lost his ring; Chandler finds out; Phoebe apologizes for being edgy at her shower; Rachel and Monica discuss hormones."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. Monica Geller : Wow, you seem to be doing so much better. That's great. So how-how are things going? Phoebe Buffay : Good. Y'know-no-no, okay, it's-it feels like everything's been about me lately, so what's happening with you? Rachel Green : Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Ross's wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Rachel Green : It just might be too hard, given the history and all that... Phoebe Buffay : Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him. Rachel Green : Well, h-how is this like that? Phoebe Buffay : Well, let's see, it's not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like y'know a bunch of y'know high school crap that nobody really gives y'know... Rachel Green : I'm-I'm sorry, I just thought that...", "summary": "Rachel struggles with whether or not to attend Ross's wedding due to their complicated past. Phoebe shares a personal story about living on the street and being propositioned for sex in exchange for food."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Alrighty, here come the water works. Joey Tribbiani : Ugh! I don't know what I'm going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they don't care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isn't an emergency, then what is? Ross Geller : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey... Ross Geller : I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Y'know, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so... Joey Tribbiani : So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, that's nice! Ross Geller : Yeah, right! Joey Tribbiani : I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those... Ross Geller : That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.", "summary": "Joey calls a company about a problem with their product, but they don't care. He then calls 9-1-1, but they laugh at him. Ross thanks everyone for coming to his party and mentions that one of his coworkers had never been to a bachelor party before. Joey compliments Ross on his wedding ring and says he might want to get one himself. Ross reveals that the ring has sentimental value, as it was all his grandmother had when she immigrated to the US."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? Ross Geller : Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life. Chandler Bing : So you might say, it's a magic ring. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the stripper stole it. Ross Geller : My-my ring? My-my wedding ring? The-the stripper stole my wedding ring?! H-how?! How could this all happen?! Chandler Bing : Well, I think it all started when you said, \"Hey Joey, why don't you be my best man.\" Ross Geller : All right-all right, fine! I-I'm gonna call the cops! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I screwed up, you don't have to turn me in! Ross Geller : Not on you! On the stripper! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said they're gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.", "summary": "The ring is irreplaceable and has been in Ross's family for generations. Every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life. However, when Joey becomes the best man at Ross's wedding, he accidentally lets the stripper steal the ring."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, well, we'll call the company that sent her! Joey Tribbiani : I did that too! They wouldn't give me her real name or her number. They said, \"If I bothered them again they'd call the police.\" I said, \"If you talk to the police, you tell them I'm missing a ring!\" Ross Geller : So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That there's nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?! Joey Tribbiani : Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I... Chandler Bing : Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that sounds like fun, but we've got a ring to find!! Monica Geller : Here's your tea Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : It's so good. Oh, thanks. Rachel Green : Good. Monica Geller : I'm so glad you liked it.", "summary": "Ross and Joey try to track down a girl they met years ago but can't find her despite calling the company that sent her. Chandler suggests using a fake name to get her to come to his office, but Ross is determined to find her real identity."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : What?! She made the tea! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction. Rachel Green : You what? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one. Monica Geller : Wait, you can't have the baby here! I mean I haven't sterilised it since the guys moved out! Rachel Green : Okay. It's okay. We're gonna be okay. Y'know what? It's okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets! Phoebe Buffay : No. It's all right; it's probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.", "summary": "Phoebe thinks she might be having a baby, but then realizes it was just a contraction. Monica and Rachel try to help her, but they are not equipped to handle a birth situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rachel, get the book! The book! Rachel Green : Okay! Okay! Here! Monica Geller : The Bible?! Rachel Green : I don't know! Joey Tribbiani : All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she won't recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. You be Mr. Gonzalez, and I'll be uh, Mr. Wong. Ross Geller : Diverse. The Stripper : Did anybody call for security? Chandler Bing : You be cool. The Stripper : Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? Hey, Joey? Ross Geller : Where's my ring? My dead grandmother's wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?", "summary": "Monica wants Rachel to get a book, but Rachel doesn't know which one. Joey suggests Chandler and Ross dress up as Mr. Gonzalez and Mr. Wong for a surprise party. When the stripper arrives, nobody knows who called for security. Chandler tries to be cool, but the stripper mistakes Joey for Gunther from Central Perk. Ross searches for his wedding ring, which was given to him by his dead grandmother."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Way to be cool, man. The Stripper : What's he talking about? Joey Tribbiani : There was a ring, in a box, on my nightstand, after you left, it was gone! The Stripper : Wait, you guys think I stole some ring? The Guys : Yeah! Ross Geller : We know you took so just-just save yourself the time and confess! The Stripper : Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I don't need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that? Chandler Bing : Marry me. Joey Tribbiani : I don't get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didn't take it, and I didn't take it; and you didn't take it, then who did? Shh! We're trying to think! Rachel Green : I still don't get how you know when it's false labour.", "summary": "The group discovers a ring on Joey's nightstand after The Stripper visits, but it disappears. They accuse her of stealing it, but she denies any involvement. The Stripper reveals that she makes $1,600 per week and challenges the guys to make the same amount. Chandler proposes marriage to her, and Joey remains confused about the ring's disappearance."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, do you see any babies? Monica Geller : How do you feel? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I guess. I mean... I don't know, it's just, I guess I know it's going to be over soon. Rachel Green : Well, isn't that a good thing? You said you were sick of this. Phoebe Buffay : I know. It's just y'know usually when you're, when you're done with the pregnant thing, y'know, then you get to do the mom thing. I'm gonna be y'know, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila. Monica Geller : Some moms do that. Phoebe Buffay : Okay that's even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, it's just that now that they're in me it's like, it's like I know them y'know, I mean-I mean, it's just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away. Monica Geller : Aww, sweetie, but it's not like you're not gonna have anything. You're gonna have nieces and nephews, and some ways that's even better. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay. Rachel Green : No, really. Really, Pheebs, you're not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when they're bad, y'know, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just won't calm down. Y'know?", "summary": "Phoebe is pregnant and feeling overwhelmed about giving birth and becoming a mother. She talks with Monica and Rachel about how she will miss being able to drink Tequila and not having to worry about college savings or disciplining her children."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I mean, you're the one they're gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex. Rachel Green : And you just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool! Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : And y'know what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you. Phoebe Buffay : They are gonna love me. Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Thanks you guys! Again. Monica Geller : Oh, sweetie! Phoebe Buffay : You're the best. Thanks. Oh!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica talk about how Phoebe is the one they go to for advice on sex and running away from home. Phoebe is excited to be known as the \"cool aunt.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Just kidding. Ahh! Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Got cha again, you guys are so easy. Joey Tribbiani : If anything should happen to him... Ross Geller : Joey! The vet said it's a simple procedure. Joey Tribbiani : So! Things can go wrong! You don't know! What if he doesn't make it?! Chandler Bing : He will, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but what if he doesn't? He's such a good duck.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe play a trick on Rachel, while Ross tries to reassure Joey that the surgery on his dog will be successful. However, Joey becomes anxious about the possibility of something going wrong during the procedure."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm so worried about him, y'know? The Doctor : Somebody lose a ring? Ross Geller : Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! Joey Tribbiani : H-h-h-how's the duck? The Doctor : He's doing just fine, he's resting now, but you can see him in a little bit. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this. Ross Geller : No, that's all right. Joey Tribbiani : No, it's not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down! Chandler Bing : Hey, come on, it's not your fault. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it is! You wouldn't have lost the ring, right? Y'know what, Ross you were right from the start, he should be your best man.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani losing a ring and being worried about it, while The Doctor and Ross Geller try to help him find it. Chandler Bing joins in to offer support but ultimately agrees that it was Joey's fault for losing the ring."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, you should. Joey Tribbiani : Now, don't argue with me... Ross Geller : Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys. Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my... I mean, I'm lucky to have just one good... Chandler Bing : Thanks man. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta go check something over here. Chandler Bing : What a baby. Ross Geller : Total wuss!", "summary": "Ross chooses Chandler and Joey as his best men, causing tension between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! Chandler Bing : Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica. Joey Tribbiani : What do you got there? Chandler Bing : Condoms, dude! Joey Tribbiani : How come the writing is in Spanish? Chandler Bing : Don't read my condoms! Monica Geller : Passport, check! Camera, check! Traveller's cheques, check! Rachel Green : Who are you saying \"check\" too? Monica Geller : Myself. Y'know for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! My mom does it, I never realised it was weird. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.", "summary": "* The group is preparing for a six-hour flight to London and is worried about getting a taxi, experiencing traffic, and the plane leaving early.\n* Chandler has condoms in his bag, which Joey notices are labeled in Spanish.\n* Monica checks her passport and other essentials, while Rachel wonders who Chandler is saying \"check\" to.\n* Phoebe shares a strange habit her mother had of putting her head in the oven."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Are you ready yet? Monica Geller : Yep! You got the tickets? Ross Geller : Oh! Got 'em right here, check! Joey Tribbiani : It's all London, baby! Here we go. Chandler Bing : You got your passport? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You don't want to lose that. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh!! Chandler Bing : There it is.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are ready for their trip to London, while Joey and Chandler worry about forgetting important documents like passports."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, if you need the vacuum, it's in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay, but Rachel's gonna be here too, can't I just ask her this stuff? Monica Geller : Yeah, okay, give that a try! Chandler Bing : All right! Let's do it! Joey Tribbiani : Woo-hoo!! Ross Geller : Yeah, cheerie-o! Joey Tribbiani : London baby! Chandler Bing : Okay, 'cause that's not gonna get annoying. Joey Tribbiani : London baby!! Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what? I was wrong.", "summary": "Rachel arrives and Phoebe wants to ask her for information about the vacuum and garbage bags, but Monica suggests asking Rachel directly. Chandler tries to be optimistic despite Joey's constant excitement about London."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, we're all here! I guess we should get going! Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I don't-can't get up. Ross Geller : Oh, I'll-I'll come hug you. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper? Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, have a great wedding! Ross Geller : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, it's on the counter in your apartment.", "summary": "Ross wants to give hugs before his wedding, but Phoebe can't get up. Ross goes to hug her, then brings her newspaper. Phoebe also asks Chandler for a hug and her book."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh. Ross Geller : So, we're off. Rachel Green : Have fun! Ross Geller : Thanks! Ugh, I can't believe you're not gonna be there! Rachel Green : Oh, I know. Ross Geller : So-so come! Why don't you come? Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : To London! Come to London. Please? It'll mean so much to me. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, I gotta work, I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Why-why can't you take a couple of days off?", "summary": "Ross wants Rachel to come to London with him, but she has to work and can't take time off."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Because, I can't! Ross, I told you, no. I can't. Ross Geller : This is my wedding. Monica Geller : All right, y'know what? We really are late! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!! Ross Geller : Fine. You'll-you'll watch it on video when we get back. Chandler Bing : Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Ross Geller : All right, let's go! Bye, Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : Bye, Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : London baby!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about him attending her wedding, while Monica urges them to hurry up. Chandler tries to hand off a gift to Phoebe, who thanks him. Joey exclaims he's off to London."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, do you need a hug? You don't have to bring me anything! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Do something! Chandler Bing : I am, I'm ignoring you. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here! I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. Chandler Bing : Oh, what the hell is that? Joey Tribbiani : It's London, baby! All right, the hotel's here. Wait. No, we wanna go... No. I know. I'm gonna have to go into the map. Chandler Bing : Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it! Joey Tribbiani : I got it! Here we go. Chandler Bing : Okay. Listen-listen, we're not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we? Joey Tribbiani : Shhh! Man, you made me lose it!", "summary": "Joey and Chandler go on a trip to London, while Phoebe offers to hug Joey without bringing anything. Joey wants Chandler to be the on-camera guy, but Chandler refuses. The group visits Westminster Abbey before deciding to explore the city. Joey gets lost in the map, and Chandler jokes about killing a mini-version of himself inside the map."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : ...and that was all before 10 o'clock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there aren't any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. We're not gonna be... Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa! Emily, honey, okay? Emily Waltham : Well, up yours too! Ross Geller : What?! Emily Waltham : Oh, that's not what it means? Ross Geller : No! No! That's-that's time-out! Emily Waltham : Sorry. Ross Geller : Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everything's gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come on. Monica Geller : Chicken Kiev? Ross Geller : Um-hmm! Doesn't that sound delicious at the last minute?", "summary": "Emily Waltham and Ross Geller are planning a party, but things are not going as smoothly as they had hoped. The caterer changed the menu to Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon, the florist doesn't have any tulips, and the DJ has carpal tunnel syndrome. Emily becomes frustrated and argues with Ross, who tries to calm her down and reassure her that everything will be okay."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, y'know, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldn't have to worry about the salmonella. But of course with salmon you'd have to worry about the chickenella... So, I can't wait to see this place you're getting married! Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emily's parents got married here. Emily Waltham : I still can't believe they're tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building you'll ever see. I mean it's over... Oh my God! Monica Geller : It's nice. Emily Waltham : Oh. Oh. Emily Waltham : Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do? Ross Geller : It's all right! Everything's gonna be all right. Emily Waltham : How's it gonna be all right?! Ross Geller : Uh-huh, I see that. Monica Geller : Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened.", "summary": "Monica and Emily are discussing a wedding venue, but Emily can't believe it's being torn down. Ross tries to reassure her that everything will be okay, but Emily is worried about what they're going to do. Monica finds out from the guy with the shovel that the building is being torn down due to safety concerns."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? What? Monica Geller : They tore it down a few days early. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey I've ever seen. Hey! Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler? Chandler Bing : I think it's great. It's great. Y'know, they're thinking of changing the name of this place. Joey Tribbiani : Really? To what? Chandler Bing : To Put the Camera Away!!! Joey Tribbiani : Man, you are Westminster Crabby. Monica Geller : Don't worry. You'll find some place to get married. Monica Geller : Oowww!! Dressmaker : Sorry. Lucky this dress is red!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discover that their wedding venue has been torn down early, so they must find a new place to get married. Joey suggests Westminster Abbey, which Chandler approves of, but Monica is not interested. Meanwhile, Ross and Joey argue over the best Abbey they've ever seen."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : We can't find another place. Then we can't have the wedding! I've ordered chicken and salad and-and cake for 150. What should be the most wonderful day of my life is rapidly turning into just Sunday with a spectacular amount of food! Monica Geller : You're gonna find a place. But even if - God forbid - you didn't.. So you postpone the wedding. Is that really so bad? I mean, think about it. You could take all the time you needed to get everything that you want. You could have tulips, you could have salmon.... Mmmmm... Salmon!! Emily Waltham : I suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world... Oh, thank you! Monica Geller : But either way... You're gonna get married, you're gonna be happy, my mom's gonna like you better than me. Monica Geller : Oh, god... She's told you that already, didn't she?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oh. Rachel Green : Oh, honey! Don't get up! What do you need? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no. Oh, nothing. Rachel Green : Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I have a wedgie.", "summary": "Emily Waltham and Monica Geller are planning a wedding, but they can't find a suitable venue. Emily has already ordered food for 150 people, including chicken, salad, and cake. Monica tries to reassure Emily that everything will be okay and suggests postponing the wedding if they can't find a place, but Emily is hesitant. Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Green enter the conversation, with Phoebe experiencing a wedgie."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, that is all you. Phoebe Buffay : So-so, what do you want for lunch? Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know. I guess we have to eat. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I do. What's the matter? Rachel Green : I'm just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldn't have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me. Phoebe Buffay : Eh, don't be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married... Rachel Green : Still in love with?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : I'm not in love with Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss lunch plans before Rachel reveals her feelings about leaving things with Ross after lying to him about working. Phoebe shares a personal experience that relates to Rachel's situation, but they both clarify that they are not romantically involved with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Phoebe, I'm going to Ross's wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, I'm still in love with him! I mean, hey, y'know, I like Ross as much as the next guy, y'know? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings don't mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesn't mean that-that I'm still in love with him. Y'know? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him-Ohh! Oh my God! Oh my-why didn't you tell me?!! Phoebe Buffay : We thought you knew! Rachel Green : We?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we all know! We talk about it all the time! Rachel Green : You all know? Does Ross know? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, Ross doesn't know anything. Rachel Green : Oh, I can not believe you didn't tell me! Phoebe Buffay : Well, because we thought you knew!! It's so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, \"Hey, you like things clean.\" Or, y'know, \"Hey, Joey, you're gay.\" Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, please! She's always got a broom in her hand!", "summary": "Rachel discovers that Phoebe and the others know she still has feelings for Ross, despite claiming otherwise."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! The Vendor : So, what are you guys in the market for? We've got uh, scarves, tulip post cards... Joey Tribbiani : Check this out? Huh? Yeah. That's the stuff. What do you think? Chandler Bing : Well, I don't have to buy that, \"I'm with stupid\" T-shirt anymore. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I like it. Here you go. Chandler Bing : All right, look, you're not really gonna buy that are you? Don't you think you've embarrassed me enough for one day? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I embarrass you? Chandler Bing : How can I answer that when I'm pretending I don't know you? The Vendor : He's just jealous. You'll fit right in; all Londoners wear them! Chandler Bing : Oh really? Then how come no one here is wearing them?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler are shopping at a market when Joey finds a t-shirt that reads \"I'm with stupid\" and wants to buy it. Chandler is embarrassed by the shirt and tries to convince Joey not to buy it, but the vendor defends the shirt and says it's a common fashion item in London."}
-{"dialogues": "The Vendor : They're all tourists. Chandler Bing : All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, y'know, you're gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? If you're gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat. The Vendor : Good choice. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Chandler Bing : Okay, wait. All right, that's it, okay, I'm out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! Joey Tribbiani : How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani, America. Emily Waltham : Hello? Ross Geller : Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think we'll be able to find a new place for the wedding. Emily Waltham : We don't have to.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani are at a market when a vendor teases them about their clothing choices. Chandler becomes embarrassed and leaves, while Joey defends his hat choice. Emily Waltham joins the conversation and tells Ross Geller that her father is open to finding a new location for their wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa-what? You found a place? Emily Waltham : No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit. Ross Geller : She said what? Emily Waltham : She said, \"If I'm not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it.\" Ross Geller : Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sister's teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? This isn't right. Emily Waltham : I realise that people are going to be disappointed. But, I'm sure they'll come back when we can do it right. Ross Geller : I can't ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? Emily Waltham : Don't you point your pants at me! We have no choice! Anywhere that's half-decent would've be booked months ago, Ross don't you understand? This is our wedding I'm talking about. Ross Geller : The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when we're getting married. Emily Waltham : So what are you saying? It's now or never?", "summary": "Ross and Emily discuss delaying their wedding due to the hall being knocked down, but Ross is adamant that they must still have the wedding as planned."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No. I'm saying it's now. Emily Waltham : Or? Ross Geller : There's no 'or' in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!! Emily Waltham : It's not the pants. It's you that is backwards. And if, and if you don't understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldn't get married at all! Ross Geller : No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please- Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross? Rachel Green : Manhattan does not have enough stores. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think I can help you get over him.", "summary": "Ross and Emily argue about his backwards thinking and their possible marriage."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You can? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross. Rachel Green : Um-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : And a small piece of chocolate. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : And a glass of tepid water. Rachel Green : Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree? Phoebe Buffay : Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didn't feel like getting up. Okay, I'm gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And you're going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws. Rachel Green : I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think he's such a great guy. Here. Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that you're with Ross okay and imagine that you're kissing him. And you're-you're running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross it's some kind of grease, it's-uck! Hah?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss bringing Ross pictures, water, and chocolate. Rachel agrees to focus on Ross's flaws in the photos, while Phoebe declares her love for him despite their issues."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't know, his uh, his hair never really bothered me that much, and y'know it was always more crunchy than it was greasy. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, let's try some uh, aversion therapy. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay? Rachel Green : All right. Phoebe Buffay : So uh, now look at the picture... Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : All right, and umm... Rachel Green : Ow! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, how do you feel now?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe try to cure Rachel's aversion to Joey's hair by using aversion therapy. They show her a picture of his hair, but it only makes her feel worse. In the end, she still can't stand the sight of it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I like you less! Chandler Bing : Well, this is just as boring in England. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Sorry! Chandler Bing : No-no-no, y'know what? I really shouldn't have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasn't cool. And if it makes you feel any better, I've had a really lousy day. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Noo!! I've had the best day ever! Dude, check this out! Now, I'm gonna fastforward past the part with you, 'cause it is boring. Monica Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel have a confrontation about something. Chandler and Joey are uninterested."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Sh-shh-shh! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat. Fergie : Okay, so umm, what's your friend's name? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Chandler. Fergie : Hi Chandler! Chandler Bing : That's... That's was... Monica Geller : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : That's Fergie baby!! Fergie : Joey says you don't really like his hat, but I think it's kinda dashing. Joey Tribbiani : So, I hear you're single now...", "summary": "Chandler and Monica run into Fergie, who is single and compliments Joey on his hat. Joey reveals that Chandler doesn't really like the hat, but Fergie finds it \"dashing.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Fergie : Yeah, ummm, I don't like the hat that much. Chandler Bing : How did you? How? How? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, I'm in my map and-and... Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily. Monica Geller : Yes, I did! And you are welcome! Ross Geller : Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?! Monica Geller : Umm... Chandler Bing : I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Wait up!", "summary": "Monica and Ross have a conversation about Emily and their wedding plans, while Chandler and Joey interrupt with their own banter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey-hey, since you're the 'fix-it' lady, here's a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesn't want to have the wedding at all? Monica Geller : She said that?! Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Why?! Ross Geller : I don't know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out. Monica Geller : Oh my God. You're even dumber than I am! Ross Geller : Excuse me? Monica Geller : Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding? Ross Geller : I don't know. A month? Monica Geller : Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That's what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake , with the little people on top. Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.", "summary": "The bride does not want to have her wedding due to a recent development."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the flying nun. Monica Geller : Sometimes we were. Ross Geller : Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay? Monica Geller : Okay. Ross Geller : Come on. Chandler Bing : That was pretty intense huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Hey, I hope Ross didn't think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here! Chandler Bing : I hope he did! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! I thought of a good flaw! Ross pops his gum! Rachel Green : Oh, right! Wait a minute, I do that too.", "summary": "Ross discovers Monica and Chandler's secret and seeks their help in dealing with it. Joey and Phoebe offer conflicting opinions on the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know. It drives me crazy. Phoebe Buffay : I'll get it. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs! It's Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on the-that looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say 'hi!' but then I figured, he doesn't care if he looks like you. Joey Tribbiani : That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, they're having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasn't been helpful at all. So, do you miss me? Joey Tribbiani : Kinda, but I've just been having way too much fun. Phoebe Buffay : So you're not homesick yet? Joey Tribbiani : No, I don't think so.", "summary": "A person (Phoebe) is talking to another person (Joey) about someone they saw on the subway who looks like Joey. Phoebe was going to go say hi but decided not to bother the person. Joey calls to ask how a chicken and a duck are doing that are with Phoebe's sister Rachel, and Phoebe mentions she hasn't been helpful at all. Phoebe asks if Joey is homesick, and he replies he isn't."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, the seven of us miss you. Joey Tribbiani : Who's seven? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies... Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, the babies miss me? Phoebe Buffay : Of course they do! Or I'm just really hungry. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, the pizza guy's here! Joey Tribbiani : What? You ordered pizza without me?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. But y'know we were thinking about you, y'know we ordered the Joey Special. Joey Tribbiani : Two pizzas?! Phoebe Buffay : Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.", "summary": "The group misses Joey and Phoebe orders two pizzas, called the \"Joey Special.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Wait, well, where did you get it from?! Emily Waltham : Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?! Monica Geller : You'll see. Emily Waltham : I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen. Emily Waltham : Oh God. Ross Geller : Okay? But-but imagine a lot more lights, okay? And-and y'know fewer bricks, and-and-and flowers, and candles... Monica Geller : And the musicians, look, they can go over here , okay? And the chairs can face this way , and... You go. Ross Geller : But-but, if you don't love this, we'll do it in any other place at any other time. Really, it's fine, whatever you want. Emily Waltham : It's perfect. Ross Geller : And, I don't know, if it starts to rain...", "summary": "Emily Waltham is unhappy with the wedding location Monica has chosen and tells her she will not go through with the wedding. Ross tries to reassure Emily that they can change the venue but she insists it's perfect as it is."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : Well then we'll get wet. Monica Geller : Ohh. And I don't even have a date. Rachel Green : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : Do you remember where the duck food is? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's in the guys' apartment under the sink. Why? Rachel Green : Because I'm going to London. Phoebe Buffay : What?! What do you mean you're going to London? Rachel Green : Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you don't have those babies until I get back. Phoebe Buffay : But what about all the \"finding-his-flaws\" stuff we've been doing?", "summary": "Rachel plans to tell Ross she loves him in London, but first, Monica and Emily get wet while searching for the duck food. Phoebe reveals that Rachel has been preparing a \"finding-his-flaws\" list, but Phoebe is concerned about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, that didn't work. Phoebe Buffay : I-Rachel, you can't go! Ross loves Emily! Rachel Green : Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision. Phoebe Buffay : That's not why you're going! You're going because you hope he's gonna say, \"Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy.\" Rachel Green : Ohh-Do you think he will?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Because he's in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, you're just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Y'know, it's too late! You missed you're chance! I'm sorry, I know this must be really hard, it's over. Rachel Green : Y'know what? No. It's not over until someone says, \"I do.\" Phoebe Buffay : I do! I do! I do! I do! Ugh, like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter. Housekeeper : The Waltham Residence. Phoebe Buffay : Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emily's Parents' house.", "summary": "Rachel Green wants to confess her feelings to Ross, despite knowing he loves Emily. Phoebe Buffay tries to dissuade Rachel from ruining Ross's wedding, but Rachel insists she has to tell him the truth."}
-{"dialogues": "Housekeeper : This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses a person on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak. Phoebe Buffay : What are you saying?! Housekeeper : Now, let us try that again, shall we? Phoebe Buffay : No! Ooh! Oh my god! Housekeeper : The Waltham Residence. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if it's not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please? Housekeeper : Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and it's not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye. Phoebe Buffay : No no no, I'll be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are? Housekeeper : I'm afraid, I'm not at liberty to divulge that information. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you don't give me that number then I'm going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay tries to reach Miss Emily Waltham at a rehearsal dinner but is met with resistance from the housekeeper. Phoebe becomes frustrated and makes a threat before eventually giving up."}
-{"dialogues": "Housekeeper : Hangs up. Phoebe Buffay : Hello, Hello. Ohh, OHH, she knew I could kick her ass. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Hi. Mom. Dad. Judy Geller : Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube. Jack Geller : Judy, the kids.. Judy Geller : Jack, that's what they call the subway. Jack Geller : Ohh, I thought that you.... Monica Geller : Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!! Emily Waltham : Ohh, here comes my dad and stepmum. Mister and Misses Geller, this is Steven and Andrea Waltham.", "summary": "The plot centers around a family, the Gellers, who are late for a dinner party hosted by their friend Judy. The conversation begins with the housekeeper hanging up the phone, followed by Phoebe Buffay greeting the group. Monica and Ross Geller arrive late, along with their mother Judy, who explains that she insisted on taking the tube (subway) despite being late. Jack Geller joins the conversation, confusing Monica and Judy by using the term \"subway\" when referring to the underground train system. Emily Waltham, the daughter of the host, introduces her parents Steven and Andrea Waltham to the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Stephen Waltham : Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. Darling it's the Gellers. Darling, it's the Gellers. She's very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her. Andrea Waltham : Sorry, what? Stephen Waltham : It's the Gellers! Andrea Waltham : Where? Stephen Waltham : Well there's one and there's another . Andrea Waltham : Lovely to meet you. Stephen Waltham : Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. Jack Geller : Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, we're happy to do it. Judy Geller : We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw . Monica Geller : Ha ha, a joke that's funny in all countries.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nA conversation between Stephen Waltham and Andrea Waltham about their wedding, with the addition of Jack and Judy Geller, who offer to pay for half of the expenses. The group discusses the cost of weddings and the tradition of who pays for what."}
-{"dialogues": "Waiter : Sir? Joey Tribbiani : What's in it? Waiter : Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. Joey Tribbiani : That's not food...No, I don't, no... Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I can't even remember what Phoebe looks like. Chandler Bing : Joey, it's been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Your different here too. Your mean in England. Jack Geller : What the hell!!! Ross Geller : what's up, Dad? Jack Geller : This bill for my half of the wedding. it's insane. Judy Geller : How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.", "summary": "Joey is homesick and upset about the food in England. Chandler tries to reassure him that he will adjust and enjoy himself. Jack has a problem with a wedding bill, and Judy is shocked by how much it is."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. I'm paying to remodel this guys house. I'm going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind. Ross Geller : Dad, dad, please. Look I don't want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay? Jack Geller : And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers. Judy Geller : Ooh, Jack.... Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. Monica Geller : And I'm going to go get drunk. Rachel Green : Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. Hi. Ticket Agent : Hello. Rachel Green : Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London? Ticket Agent : There's one leaving in thirty minutes. Rachel Green : Ohh, good.", "summary": "Ross tries to intervene as Jack plans to give their son a piece of his mind, but Emily does not want anything upsetting on a difficult night. Judy praises Jack's ability to stand up for the Gellers, while Monica decides to drink to cope with her stress. Rachel buys a last-minute ticket to London and prepares to depart."}
-{"dialogues": "Ticket Agent : And I do have one seat left. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Ticket Agent : The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars. Rachel Green : Huh.. How about 600? Ticket Agent : Sorry. Rachel Green : How about 600 and these earrings? Ticket Agent : They prefer it if I don't barter. Rachel Green : Ohh, I just don't think I have enough left on my credit card. Ticket Agent : Well you can split it with another credit card. Rachel Green : Ohh, okay, how about five. Ohh, thank you.", "summary": "Rachel Green attempts to purchase a last-minute flight ticket, but the agent only has one seat left and the fare is $2700. Rachel offers $600, but the agent declines. Rachel then offers her earrings as payment, but the agent insists on using their official payment methods only. Rachel eventually agrees to split the cost with another credit card."}
-{"dialogues": "Ticket Agent : I'm just going to need to see your passport. Rachel Green : Okay, you know what? I don't have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. Ticket Agent :  Ross Geller : Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn. Stephen Waltham : Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments. Ross Geller : I go back there with lawn ornaments, he's going to laugh in my face. Andrea Waltham : This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. Will you say something, Steven?! Please!!! Stephen Waltham : Don't take that tone with me. All-all right you can. Rachel Green : Hi, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over a lost passport, while Stephen and Andrea Waltham try to negotiate a deal for their lawn. Phoebe enters and supports Rachel emotionally."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Bye, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?! Chandler Bing : I'd like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. And I thought things were going to work out for him.. Until the day he over inflated her. Ohh, Dear God.. Andrea Waltham : Hello, Waltham Interiors. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Ross's sister Monica. Andrea Waltham : Who is this? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm Phoebe Buffay. I'm one of Ross's best friends. Andrea Waltham : Where did you get this number? Phoebe Buffay : I got it from your maid. She's a bitch, but I wore her down. Andrea Waltham : Well, if you're one of Ross's best friends, why aren't you here?", "summary": "Rachel Green leaves unexpectedly, causing Phoebe Buffay to question where she is going and what she is doing. Chandler Bing makes a toast to Ross and Emily at their wedding reception. Meanwhile, Andrea Waltham questions how Phoebe obtained her phone number and wonders why Phoebe is not attending the wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, um, I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies. Andrea Waltham : Oh, am I on the radio? Phoebe Buffay : No..umm, could I talk to one of them? It's very very important. Andrea Waltham : No, I'm bored with you now. I'm going to cut you off. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Okay, I'm going to have to kick her ass too. Chandler Bing : And I'm sure we're all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now I'm not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. But not as much as I love America. Could we please..go home now? Felicity : Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. Monica Geller : I was laughing.", "summary": "Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall, but things get complicated when Phoebe reveals she is pregnant with Ross's baby. Andrea cuts her off, and Chandler makes a joke about Monty Hall. Joey becomes the best man, and Felicity tries to get to know him better. Monica laughs at a joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Out loud? Monica Geller : Well I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid. Chandler Bing : So how are you doing? Monica Geller : My mother's driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. I'm happy. I'm not going to let anything spoil that. Drunk Man : I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man. Monica Geller : Well, thanks, we like him. Drunk Man : My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. Jack Geller : There's no way in hell, I'm paying for it. Ross Geller : Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding. Jack Geller : All-right fine, but I just want to say, I'm not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it weren't for us, cheap little man.", "summary": "Monica's mother is driving her crazy, but she is happy about Ross's upcoming wedding. A drunk man compliments Ross, and Jack objects to paying for his wine cellar."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : The guy was hammered, okay? There's no way, you look like Ross's mother. Monica Geller : Then why would he say it? Chandler Bing : Because he's crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic. Monica Geller : Oh, my mother's right. I'm never going to get married. Chandler Bing : Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldn't want you? Monica Geller : Ohh, Please?! I'm a single mom, with a thirty year old son!! Rachel Green : Hi, I'm back. Listen, I need to... Ticket Agent : Hello. Rachel Green : Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight. Ticket Agent : Oh I'm afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Monica Geller, who is upset after Chandler Bing made a comment about her looking like Ross's mother. Chandler explains that he is crazy and thanks Monica for her moving performance in Titanic. Monica expresses her frustration about being a single mom with a 30-year-old son, while Rachel Green returns and needs to get on an 11 o'clock flight but finds out it has already left the gate."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, you know what? You're going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up. Ticket Agent : I can't do that. Rachel Green : Sure, you know what? Come on, we'll just tell them that there was like a problem with like the \"engine\". Ticket Agent : I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss. Rachel Green : Look, If I don't get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!! Ticket Agent : I can't imagine why. Rachel Green : All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! Ross Geller : I'm getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!! Chandler Bing : Morning, Ross. Ross Geller : I'm getting married, to..day!!", "summary": "Rachel tries to avoid a flight to London by faking an engine problem, but the ticket agent is skeptical and asks her to step aside. Meanwhile, Ross is preparing to get married, exclaiming \"I'm getting married today!!\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah you are!! Ross Geller : Ahh, whoo-hoo!! Monica Geller : Do you think he knew I was here? Rachel Green : Ohhh. Passenger : Ahh, ahh, excuse me. Rachel Green : Yeah? Passenger : If you're planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one. Rachel Green : Oh. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Sorry. It's just, I'm ahh, I'm kinda excited. I'm, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I love him and... Chandler Bing : Well I've-I've never done that with you before. Monica Geller : Nope.", "summary": "Rachel is excited for her flight to London where she plans to confess her feelings to a guy she loves. Chandler and Ross try to figure out if Rachel knew the passenger next to her was there, while Monica remains silent."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay? Monica Geller : Yep, yep...You? Chandler Bing : Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You? We did you. Monica Geller : Well...I'd better get going. Chandler Bing : Oh yea yea, absolutely. Monica Geller : Could you not look? Chandler Bing : I don't want to look. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, were the hell have you been?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...", "summary": "Monica and Chandler exchange pleasantries before Monica announces she must leave. Chandler hesitates but agrees to let her go. Joey enters and greets Phoebe, who asks where he has been."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I don't want to hear about her!! Joey Tribbiani : Ahh Pheebs, you know you're still my number one girl. Phoebe Buffay : No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachel's coming to London. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh great!!! Phoebe Buffay : No it's not great. No, she's coming to tell Ross that she loves him. Joey Tribbiani : But, he loves Emily? Phoebe Buffay : I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! She's going to ruin the wedding!! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so, okay... Joey Tribbiani : Hold on. Hold on. Rachel coming. Do...Something.", "summary": "Rachel is coming to London to tell Ross she loves him, but he already loves Emily. Phoebe and Joey try to stop her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so I'm done my part, okay. It's your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right? Joey Tribbiani : Right! Phoebe Buffay : So tell me about this girl? Rachel Green : ...And so then I realised. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldn't come to the wedding. Was all just a way of... Passenger : Oh, oh oh!! I'm sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person. Rachel Green : Ehh, pardon me? Passenger : You say you love this man, yet you're about to ruin the happiest day of his life. I'm afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan. Rachel Green : But he has to know how I feel! Passenger : But why? He loves this...this Emily person. No good can come of this. Rachel Green : Well I-I think your wrong.", "summary": "Rachel Green plans to reveal her true feelings to Ross at his wedding, despite being engaged to someone else. Phoebe and Joey disagree on how to handle the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Passenger : Oh-no. Rachel Green : Well, he doesn't really love her. I mean, it's just a rebound thing from me.... You'll see! Passenger : Fortunately, I won't. And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. Joey Tribbiani : Do something..... Something.... Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Have you seen Monica? Chandler Bing : I'm not seeing Monica. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : What?", "summary": "Rachel suspects her boyfriend doesn't truly love her and that it's just a rebound relationship for her. A passenger overhears their conversation and expresses relief they won't be in the relationship. Joey tries to intervene but Chandler chimes in, revealing he's not seeing Monica either."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look we've got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachel's coming to tell Ross she loves him!! Chandler Bing : Oh my god! Joey Tribbiani : I know! That's why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is? Chandler Bing : No!! Okay!! What's with the third degree?! Why don't you just shine a light in my eyes?! Judy Geller : Oh my God! It's like a fairyland. Andrea Waltham : I know, it's horrible isn't it? Monica Geller : Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good. Judy Geller : I just hope... Monica Geller : You can let some of them go by! Joey Tribbiani : Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. I'll cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.", "summary": "Rachel is coming to confess her love to Ross, but Monica has gone missing. Joey and Chandler search for her while Judy and Andrea discuss the fairyland-like atmosphere of Monica's wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I don't even like Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : I do. I do. I do. Chandler Bing : Oh yea, your right. It's the second one. Ross Geller : Really? Felicity : Hello Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Felicity. Felicity : Umm, I thought about you all day. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Felicity : Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.", "summary": "Chandler and Ross argue over where Chandler is. Monica doesn't care and sometimes doesn't like him. Joey agrees. Felicity joins the conversation and talks to Joey about thinking about him all day."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Fuggetaboutit. How you doin? Felicity : Mmm. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Judy Geller : There's nothing to discuss. We're not paying for your wine cellar. Stephen Waltham : You-you have to meet me in the middle here. Jack Geller : Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass. Ross Geller : Dad!! Emily Waltham : What-what's going on?! Ross Geller : Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control. Stephen Waltham : You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? You want a piece of me?", "summary": "Joey and Felicity discuss nothing in particular. Judy refuses to pay for Joey's wine cellar. Stephen tries to mediate but Jack gets upset. Ross intervenes and Emily becomes confused. Stephen threatens Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! That's it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! That's right!! Jack Geller : Okay, okay. Stephen Waltham : Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I could kill you with my thumb, you know. Emily Waltham : What was all that about? Ross Geller : It was...This disagreement over... My god. You...you look beautiful. Emily Waltham : Ohh... Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. It's bad luck. Ross Geller : You know what, I think we've had all the bad luck we're going to have. Ross Geller : My God. Rachel! Your here. I can't believe it. What happen? Why are you here? Rachel Green : Well I just came... I just needed to tell you... Congratulations. Andrea Waltham : Hello, Waltham Interiors.", "summary": "Ross and Emily are getting married, but Ross's parents and Stephen (Emily's father) have a disagreement that leads to a tense moment before the ceremony. Rachel arrives unexpectedly and reveals she has something important to tell Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Mrs. Waltham. Hi. It's Phoebe again. Andrea Waltham : Why?! Phoebe Buffay : Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise. Andrea Waltham : Joey there's a girl on the phone for you. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh great!! Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, it's Phoebe. Did you stop Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : No, but it's okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it. Phoebe Buffay : So nothing got ruined? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's so great! Ohh, so what's going on now?", "summary": "Phoebe wants to talk to one of the best men and promises it will be her last request. Andrea gives Joey a call instead. Phoebe is disappointed but learns that nothing has been ruined. She asks what's going on now, and Joey replies that nothing has happened yet."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ah, I'm-I'm walking down the aisle...Still walking. I'm about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. Hey! I told her \"Hey.\" And now I'm at the front with Ross. It's Phoebe. He looks pretty mad. Uh...I'd better go. Phoebe Buffay : No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. Chandler Bing : What we did last night was.... Monica Geller : Stupid. Chandler Bing : Totally crazy stupid. Monica Geller : What were we thinking? Chandler Bing : I'm coming over tonight though, right? Monica Geller : Oh yeah. Definitely. Minister : Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily... Emily Waltham : I, Emily...", "summary": "Ross and Emily are getting married, but things get awkward when Ross's ex-wife Phoebe shows up at the ceremony, looking mad and making jokes about what she and Chandler did last night."}
-{"dialogues": "Minister : Take thee Ross... Emily Waltham : Take thee Ross... Minister : As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death parts us. Emily Waltham : As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Minister : Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross... Ross Geller : I Ross... Minister : Take thee, Emily... Ross Geller : Take thee, Rachel... Emily. Emily. Rachel Green : He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there? Minister : Uhh...Shall I go on?", "summary": "Ross and Emily are getting married, but Ross stumbles over his vows and Emily has to help him out. Meanwhile, Rachel hesitates before going up to recite her own vows."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : Yes, yes, do go on. Jack Geller : He better go on for what I'm paying. Stephen Waltham : After what he just said, you're paying for the whole bloody lot. Minister : I think we'd better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross... Ross Geller : I, Ross... Minister : Take thee, EM-I-LY... Ross Geller : Take thee, Emily. Like there'd be anybody else. Minister : As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts us. Andrea Waltham : Looks like that might come any minute. Ross Geller : As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily.", "summary": "Ross and Emily get married after a series of mishaps and misunderstandings involving Jack, Stephen, and the minister."}
-{"dialogues": "Minister : May I have the rings? Emily, place this ring on Ross's finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever. Ross Geller : Happy to. Minister : Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife. Ross Geller : Yay! Minister : You may kiss the bride. Judy Geller : This is worse than when he married the lesbian. Emily Waltham : Just keep smiling. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Well, that went well. Yeah. Chandler Bing : It could've been worse, he could've shot her.", "summary": "Ross and Emily get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasn't it? Emily Waltham : You've spoiled everything! It's like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right? Ross Geller : That-that-that's all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. I'll be right out here. She's just fixing her makeup. Emily Waltham : I hate you!! Ross Geller : And, I love you!! Jack Geller : Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross? Ross Geller : That's true, thanks dad. People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! Andrea Waltham : Yes, Waltham interiors. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Philange.", "summary": "Ross accidentally spoils a surprise party for Emily, causing her to panic and hate him. Joey tries to make the situation better by suggesting they all eat cake instead. Ross's dad, Jack, makes a mistake by saying the wrong name, causing Ross to awkwardly laugh. The party continues with Phoebe calling to check in on Emily as her personal physician."}
-{"dialogues": "Andrea Waltham : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I've discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh women's names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own. Andrea Waltham : Oh my God, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too! Phoebe Buffay : Hello? What kind of bitch hangs up on a doctor! Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Oh wow, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, I'm just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship. Monica Geller : I know. How could we have let this happen? Chandler Bing : Seven times!", "summary": "Ross forgets his brain medication and starts mistaking women's names for each other. Phoebe discovers this and they try to help him. Meanwhile, Chandler and Monica are worried about their plans for the night and the potential impact on their friendship."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ugh! Well, y'know, we were away... Chandler Bing : In a foreign, romantic country... Monica Geller : I blame London. Chandler Bing : Bad London! Monica Geller : So look umm, while we're st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right? Chandler Bing : Well, I don't see that we have a choice. But, when we're back home, we don't do it. Monica Geller : Only here. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs... Monica Geller : I'll meet you there in two minutes. Chandler Bing : Okay!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are in London together and are secretly having an affair while pretending to be friends. They discuss their situation and decide to continue seeing each other while they are still in London, but not when they return home."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something. Monica Geller : Now? Rachel Green : Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can't pretend that didn't happen can I? Monica Geller : Oh, I-I don't know. Rachel Green : Monica, what should I do? Monica Geller : Just uh, do the right thing. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! Rachel Green : Whoa, wait, listen, I think I'm just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant. Monica Geller : Wait. Rachel, no, he's married. Married! If you don't realise that, I can't help you.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss Ross saying her name during a conversation, leading to confusion and awkwardness."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, you're right. You're right. You can't help me. Judy Geller : Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents? Stephen Waltham : Yes. Jack Geller : Oh yeah, well who serves steak when there's no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's up? Joey Tribbiani : You and me, next dance? Andrea Waltham : Sweetheart, sweetheart... Rachel Green : Yes? Andrea Waltham : You know, we're all wondering who this Rachel is. Can you point her out to me? Rachel Green : Oh, you know what? Rachel.. She just left.", "summary": "Rachel Green seeks help from Judy Geller and Stephen Waltham regarding a problem she's facing. Jack Geller shares his thoughts on parenting, while Joey Tribbiani asks Andrea Waltham to dance. Rachel Green reveals that the person they were discussing has left."}
-{"dialogues": "Andrea Waltham : Oh.. Never mind. Who are you? Rachel Green : Ra.... Er.. Barbra. Andrea Waltham : Red Barbra? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar? Chandler Bing : Forget it, that's off. Monica Geller : Why?! Stephen Waltham : The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes... Monica Geller : Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldn't eat meat until she has the babies! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I figured we're in another country, so it doesn't count.", "summary": "Andrea Waltham and Rachel Green meet in a wine cellar, but Andrea forgets who she is. Monica Geller and Chandler Bing are also there, but they have cancelled their plans due to a misunderstanding. Joey Tribbiani promises Phoebe he won't eat meat until she has her babies, but he breaks his promise when they are in another country."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's true. Chandler Bing : The man's got a point. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Sorry, things aren't working out so well. Ross Geller : Oh no! It could be better, but it's gonna be okay, right? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, she's gonna get over this, y'know? I mean, so you said my name! Y'know you just said it 'cause you saw me there, if you'd have seen a circus freak, you would've said, \"I take thee circus freak.\" Y'know, it didn't mean anything, it's just a mistake. It didn't mean anything. Right? Ross Geller : No! No! Of course it didn't mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, y'know, because-because it was you... Rachel Green : Right... Ross Geller : But it absolutely didn't. It didn't!! It didn't!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about Emily thinking that Ross said \"I take thee circus freak\" when he actually just mispronounced her name."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ross, hey, the band's ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so... Ross Geller : Oh! Oh-oh, the band's ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says-I don't care about the stupid band!! Joey Tribbiani : You spit on me man! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh? Rachel Green : Y'know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame. Ross Geller : Oh, right! Rachel Green : Get the hell out of there, y'know? Ross Geller : Emily? Emily? I'm coming in. Rachel Green : Well, look at that, same thing.", "summary": "Ross and Joey prepare for Ross's first dance with Emily at their wedding, but Ross becomes distracted and disruptive. Meanwhile, Rachel reveals a humorous story about locking herself in a bathroom at her own wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, \"Yippee!\" just ignore me. Monica Geller : Oh my God, Rachel! Hi! Chandler Bing : Oh, hello Rachel. Rachel Green : Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Monica Geller : How did you get in here? Rachel Green : If anybody asks, I'm your sister, Joan. Listen. C'mon, you guys. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! Chandler Bing : Your sister Joan is crazy. Rachel Green : Y'know what? Fine, I don't care. Don't believe me, I know I'm right-do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink? Chandler Bing : Yes, we do. But, we have to change first. Monica Geller : Yes, I want to change. And why-why don't you go down and get us a table?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are in a conversation with Rachel, who claims that Ross said her name, indicating that he still loves her. However, Chandler dismisses this and suggests they go downstairs to get a drink. Monica agrees and offers to change before going."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, we'll be down in like five minutes. Monica Geller : Fifteen minutes. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Hello? Oh, Pheebs! It's Phoebe! Chandler Bing : Oh, yay... Monica Geller : Great... Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, so what happened? Rachel Green : Well, Ross said my name. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, but I don't think that means anything.", "summary": "Ross says Rachel's name."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, y'know what, let's look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then... Chandler Bing : Hey, listen, why don't we go change in my room? Monica Geller : But my clothes are-ohh! Chandler Bing : Wow, you look... Monica Geller : No time for that! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here! Chandler Bing : Well, I've got a girl in here. Joey Tribbiani : No you don't, I just saw you go in there with Monica! Chandler Bing : Well, we're-we're hanging out in here! Joey Tribbiani : Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?", "summary": "The obsession begins in 9th grade and grows after seeing Rachel in a two-piece. Chandler invites Monica to change in his room, but she declines. Joey tries to enter the room, and Chandler insists he's just hanging out with Monica. Joey wonders who will have sex in the room first, him or Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, I suppose I'd have to say you!! But, what if we're watching a movie in here? Monica Geller : Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. It's My Giant! Joey Tribbiani : My Giant? I love that movie! Monica Geller : You really think this is okay? Chandler Bing : Well, Ross and Emily aren't gonna use it. Monica Geller : Oh, it's so beautiful. Ohh! Y'know, I-I don't know if I feel right about this. Chandler Bing : Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Ross Geller : Emily?!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are watching a movie in their honeymoon suite when Joey brings up My Giant, a movie they both love. Monica expresses doubts about using the room for sexual activities, but Chandler convinces her to go along with it. Ross enters the conversation and joins in on the debate."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Nope, not under here! Monica Geller : You didn't find her? Ross Geller : No, I've looked everywhere! Chandler Bing : Well, you couldn't have looked everywhere or else you would've found her! Monica Geller : Yeah, I think you should keep looking! Chandler Bing : Yeah, for about 30 minutes. Monica Geller : Or 45. Chandler Bing : Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. Ross Geller : No! For all I know, she's trying to find me but couldn't because I kept moving around. No, from now on, I'm staying in one place. Right here. Monica Geller : Well, it's getting late.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are searching for Rachel who is missing. Ross joins them in the search but keeps moving around, making it difficult to find her. The group continues to search for several minutes before deciding to call it a night."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, we're gonna go. Ross Geller : Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while? Monica Geller : Ugh, y'know, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's a very large plane. Ross Geller : That's cool. Chandler Bing : But, we'll stay here with you. Ross Geller : Thanks guys! I really appreciate this, y'know, but you don't have to rub my butt. Chandler Bing : We have to leave for New York in an hour. Monica Geller : I know, I've been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, don't you think? Chandler Bing : We can't do that that's insane. I mean 'A' he could wake up and 'B' y'know, let's go for it.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are hanging out at Monica's apartment when Ross suggests they stay there for a while instead of going to New York with Monica and Chandler. Monica is not keen on the idea and mentions that they have an early flight to catch. Chandler agrees with Monica, but Ross thanks them for their offer. Monica brings up the idea of soundproofing the doors, which Chandler dismisses as insane."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Em-Emily? Em-Emily? Emily! Stephen Waltham : No. Andrea Waltham : You can forget about Emily, she's not with us. Stephen Waltham : We've come for her things. Ross Geller : Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she? Stephen Waltham : She's in hiding. She's utterly humiliated. She doesn't want to see you ever again. Andrea Waltham : We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey. But, I think you're absolutely delicious. Stephen Waltham : Excuse me, I'm standing right here! Andrea Waltham : Oh yes, there you are. Rachel Green : Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, there's a whole cart outside...", "summary": "Ross tries to find Emily after she has left him, but she does not want to see him."}
-{"dialogues": "Stephen Waltham : Goodbye Geller. Ross Geller : Now, hold on! Hold on! Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that I'm gonna be at that airport and I hope that she'll be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachel's name, but it didn't mean anything, Okay? She's-she's just a friend and that's all! That's all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that you'll tell her that. Stephen Waltham : All right, I'll tell her. Come on bugger face! Andrea Waltham : Call me. Stephen Waltham : You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don't you ever go out the bloody window! Monica Geller : Y'know, maybe it's best that we never got to do it again. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. Y'know, technically we still are over international waters. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I'll see you there in a bit? Chandler Bing : 'Kay! Joey Tribbiani : Can I ask you something?", "summary": "Stephen Waltham and Ross Geller are preparing for their honeymoon when Stephen reveals that he will be at the airport to see Rachel (only a friend). Ross insists that Emily must know how much he loves her. Andrea Waltham tells Stephen to call Emily, and Monica Geller suggests they avoid another incident like the one in International waters. Joey Tribbiani asks if he can ask something, but the conversation ends abruptly."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Uhh, no. Joey Tribbiani : Felicity and I, we're watching My Giant, and I was thinking, \"I'm never gonna be as good an actor as that giant.\" Do you think I'm just wasting my life with this acting thing? Chandler Bing : No. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, y'know, you think I'll ever get there? Chandler Bing : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man. Chandler Bing : Okay man. Joey Tribbiani : But what about how much taller he is than me? Joey Tribbiani : I mean, there's no way I can make myself taller now, y'know? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, wow you've been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani struggles with feelings of inadequacy regarding his acting career, particularly when compared to a younger, taller actor he sees in a movie. He confides in Chandler Bing, who offers both emotional support and a grim assessment of Joey's future prospects."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know! Joey Tribbiani : Had the beef-tips, huh? Ross Geller : Rach! Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! What are you, what are you doing here? Rachel Green : Well, I-I-I've been on Standby for a flight home for hours. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh? Ross Geller : Not yet. Rachel Green : So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?", "summary": "Rachel returns after being on standby for hours and asks if there's any news about Emily. Ross says no, and they chat briefly before Rachel inquires about his flight departure time."}
-{"dialogues": "Gate Agent : This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call. Ross Geller : Pretty soon I guess. Rachel Green : Yeah. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : I just, I don't understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Y'know, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she'd actually show up? Rachel Green : No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love. Ross Geller : Same difference. Gate Agent : All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board. Ross Geller : I get it! Well, that's that. Rachel Green : No, you know what, I think you should go. Ross Geller : What?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying to make their way to Athens, but their flight has been cancelled."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think it'd be really good. Ross Geller : Oh, I don't, I don't, I don't know... Rachel Green : Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you! Ross Geller : I could, yeah, I can do that. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : I can't, I can't even believe her! No, y'know what, I am, I am gonna go! Rachel Green : Good! Ross Geller : I know, why not? Rachel Green : Right! Ross Geller : Right?", "summary": "Ross decides to take Rachel's advice and go on a solo trip to clear his head after a difficult conversation with someone."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Right! Ross Geller : Y'know-thanks! Rachel Green : Okay, I'll see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here. Ross Geller : Yeah, well...nah. Rachel Green : What? Wait, what? Ross Geller : Why don't you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not? Rachel Green : Well-well, I don't know Ross-really? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, it'll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.", "summary": "Ross wants Rachel to come with him to the beach, but she is stuck in the airport due to flight delays."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that! Ross Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Okay! Ross Geller : Cool! Rachel Green : All right! Ross Geller : Come on! Here. Rachel Green : Oh, okay, we're going. Yeah. Ross Geller : Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket! Rachel Green : Oh, wait-wait-wait... Ross Geller : You tell them to wait!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel go somewhere together after Ross asks her if she can do it. They both agree and are excited about it. Ross forgets his jacket, and Rachel tells him to wait while they continue on their way."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Wait! Wait! Ross Geller : Emily. Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! No! No! Emily! Rachel Green : Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot Air Hostess : Okay. Rachel Green : And uh, he will have a white wine spritzer. Air Hostess : Okay, good. Thank you. I'll be back shortly, all right? Rachel Green : All right. Woo! Hey, look at that, the airport's moving. Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? They said they were gonna wait! Miss? Yeah, does the captain know that we're moving? Oh my... Ross, you better be under the wheels of this thing!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are on a flight with Emily, who Ross was previously in a relationship with. They become anxious as the plane begins to move without warning."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : You ate meat! You had sex! Chandler Bing : No we didn't! Phoebe Buffay : I know you didn't, I was talking about Monica. Monica Geller : Phoebe, I did not have sex. Phoebe Buffay : This pregnancy is throwing me all off. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm gonna go say hi the chick and the duck. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, me too! Joey Tribbiani : Why would you need to say hi to them, you've been feeding them for four days? Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, maybe I'll just go home.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are not having sex, while Phoebe is pregnant and confused about her feelings. Joey tries to impress a woman by saying he had sex with a duck."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, we certainly are alone. Chandler Bing : Yes! Good thing we have that, 'Not in New York' rule. Monica Geller : Right. Umm, listen since we're-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross's mother... Chandler Bing : Right. Monica Geller : Well, an-anyway, I just-that night meant a lot to me, I guess I'm just trying to say thanks. Chandler Bing : Oh. Y'know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn't because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me 'cause, you're really hot! Is that okay? Monica Geller : That's okay. Chandler Bing : And I'm cute too. Monica Geller : And you're cute too. Chandler Bing : Thank you! All right, I gotta go unpack.", "summary": "Monica thanks Chandler for being there for her during a difficult time in London, but he misinterprets her gratitude and thinks she's expressing appreciation for his physical appearance."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Bye. Chandler Bing : I'm still on London time, does that count? Monica Geller : That counts! Chandler Bing : Oh, good! Minister : Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross... Ross Geller : I Ross... Minister : Take thee, Emily... Ross Geller : Take thee, Rachel... Emily. Emily. Minister : Uhh...Shall I go on?", "summary": "Ross and Emily are getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there? Emily Waltham : Yes, yes, do go on. Minister : I think we'd better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross... Ross Geller : I, Ross... Minister : Take thee, EM-I-LY... Ross Geller : Take thee, Emily. Like there'd be anybody else. Minister : As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts us. Ross Geller : As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily. Minister : May I have the rings? Emily, place this ring on Ross's finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever. Ross Geller : Happy too.", "summary": "Ross and Emily get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Minister : Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife. Ross Geller : Yay! Minister : You may kiss the bride. Judy Geller : This is worse than when he married the lesbian. Emily Waltham : Just keep smiling. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Well, that went well. Yeah. Chandler Bing : It could've been worse, he could've shot her. Ross Geller : That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasn't it? Emily Waltham : You've spoiled everything! It's like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!", "summary": "Ross and Emily get married after making their declarations."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right? Ross Geller : That-that-that's all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. I'll be right out here. She's just fixing her makeup. Emily Waltham : I hate you!! Ross Geller : And, I love you!! Jack Geller : Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross? Ross Geller : That's true, thanks dad. People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! Andrea Waltham : Yes, Waltham interiors. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Philange. Andrea Waltham : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I've discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh women's names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.", "summary": "Ross and Emily argue, while Joey focuses on getting cake. Ross's father, Jack, accidentally refers to Emily as \"Waltham,\" causing confusion. Phoebe reveals that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, which causes him to mix up women's names."}
-{"dialogues": "Andrea Waltham : Oh my God, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too! Phoebe Buffay : Hello? Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Oh wow, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, I'm just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship. Monica Geller : I know. How could we have let this happen? Chandler Bing : Seven times! Monica Geller : Ugh! Well, y'know, we were away... Chandler Bing : In a foreign, romantic country...", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang finds themselves in a series of embarrassing situations while abroad, including accidentally drinking too much and waking up next to someone they don't remember."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I blame London. Chandler Bing : Bad London! Monica Geller : So look umm, while we're st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right? Chandler Bing : Well, I don't see that we have a choice. But, when we're back home, we don't do it. Monica Geller : Only here. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs... Monica Geller : I'll meet you there in two minutes. Chandler Bing : Okay! Rachel Green : Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something. Monica Geller : Now?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are in London and are discussing their sexual escapades while there. They agree to keep doing it while they're still in the city, but when they return home, they won't do it anymore. Rachel interrupts them and asks Monica something."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can't pretend that didn't happen can I? Monica Geller : Oh, I-I don't know. Rachel Green : Monica, what should I do? Monica Geller : Just uh, do the right thing. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! Rachel Green : Whoa, wait, listen, I think I'm just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant. Monica Geller : Wait. Rachel, no, he's married. Married! If you don't realize that, I can't help you. Rachel Green : Okay, you're right. You're right. You can't help me. Judy Geller : Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss a situation involving Ross, who said Rachel's name in front of someone else, leading to confusion and potential awkwardness. Monica advises Rachel to \"do the right thing\" and avoid any further complications, while Rachel considers talking to Ross about the situation. Judy, their mother, enters the conversation and wonders if they were bad parents."}
-{"dialogues": "Stephen Waltham : Yes. Jack Geller : Oh yeah, well who serves steak when there's no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's up? Monica Geller : Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar? Chandler Bing : Forget it, that's off. Monica Geller : Why?! Stephen Waltham : The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes... Monica Geller : Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldn't eat meat until she has the babies! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I figured we're in another country, so it doesn't count. Monica Geller : That's true.", "summary": "The friends are at a restaurant in an unfamiliar place and are discussing food options. Joey is eating steak despite Monica's reminder that he promised Phoebe he wouldn't eat meat until she has her babies. Meanwhile, Stephen is announcing the next wine cellar tour will start in two minutes."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : The man's got a point. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Sorry, things aren't working out so well. Ross Geller : Oh no! It could be better, but it's gonna be okay, right? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, she's gonna get over this, y'know? I mean, so you said my name! Y'know you just said it 'cause you saw me there, if you'd have seen a circus freak, you would've said, \"I take thee circus freak.\" Y'know, it didn't mean anything, it's just a mistake. It didn't mean anything. Right? Ross Geller : No! No! Of course it didn't mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, y'know, because-because it was you... Rachel Green : Right... Ross Geller : But it absolutely didn't. It didn't!! It didn't!! Joey Tribbiani : Ross, hey, the band's ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their relationship, with Ross reassuring Rachel that everything will be okay despite her doubts. Joey interrupts to inform Ross that it's time for his first dance with Emily at their wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh! Oh-oh, the band's ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says-I don't care about the stupid band!! Joey Tribbiani : You spit on me man! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh? Rachel Green : Y'know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame. Ross Geller : Oh, right! Rachel Green : Get the hell out of there, y'know? Ross Geller : Emily? Emily? I'm coming in. Rachel Green : Well, look at that, same thing. Chandler Bing : Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, \"Yippee!\" just ignore me.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a band that Ross and Joey are part of, with Ross spitting on Joey and Emily taking a long time to arrive. Rachel shares a story about locking herself in a bathroom at her wedding and Ross mentions someone named Emily. Chandler interrupts by shouting \"Yippee!\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, Rachel! Hi! Chandler Bing : Oh, hello Rachel. Rachel Green : Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! Okay, don't believe me, I know I'm right-do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink? Chandler Bing : Yes, we do. But, we have to change first. Monica Geller : Yes, I want to change. And why-why don't you go down and get us a table? Chandler Bing : Yeah, we'll be down in like five minutes. Monica Geller : Fifteen minutes. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Hello? Oh, Pheebs! It's Phoebe! Chandler Bing : Oh, yay...", "summary": "Ross says Rachel's name, leading her to believe he still loves her. They want to get a drink, but Chandler and Monica need to change first. Phoebe joins them, and they agree to meet in 15 minutes."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Great... Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, so what happened? Rachel Green : Well, Ross said my name. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, but I don't think that means anything. Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, y'know what, let's look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then... Chandler Bing : Hey, listen, why don't we go change in my room? Monica Geller : But my clothes are-ohh! Chandler Bing : Wow, you look... Monica Geller : No time for that!", "summary": "Ross develops an obsession with Rachel after seeing her in a two-piece swimsuit."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here! Chandler Bing : Well, I've got a girl in here. Joey Tribbiani : No you don't, I just saw you go in there with Monica! Chandler Bing : Well, we're-we're hanging out in here! Joey Tribbiani : Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you? Chandler Bing : Well, I suppose I'd have to say you!! But, what if we're watching a movie in here? Monica Geller : Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. It's My Giant! Joey Tribbiani : My Giant? I love that movie! Monica Geller : You really think this is okay? Chandler Bing : Well, Ross and Emily aren't gonna use it.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over who will have sex in a room while watching a movie with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, it's so beautiful. Ohh! Y'know, I-I don't know if I feel right about this. Chandler Bing : Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Ross Geller : Emily?! Chandler Bing : Nope, not under here! Monica Geller : You didn't find her? Ross Geller : No, I've looked everywhere! Chandler Bing : Well, you couldn't have looked everywhere or else you would've found her! Monica Geller : Yeah, I think you should keep looking!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are in a honeymoon suite, with Chandler expecting sex. Ross enters and looks for Emily, but can't find her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, for about 30 minutes. Monica Geller : Or 45. Chandler Bing : Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. Ross Geller : No! For all I know, she's trying to find me but couldn't because I kept moving around. No, from now on, I'm staying in one place. Right here. Monica Geller : Well, it's getting late. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we're gonna go. Ross Geller : Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while? Monica Geller : Ugh, y'know, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's a very large plane. Ross Geller : That's cool.", "summary": "Ross tries to hide from Joey but ends up staying in one place while Monica and Chandler leave for their flight to New York."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : But, we'll stay here with you. Ross Geller : Thanks guys! I really appreciate this, y'know, but you don't have to rub my butt. Chandler Bing : We have to leave for New York in an hour. Monica Geller : I know, I've been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, don't you think? Chandler Bing : We can't do that that's insane. I mean 'A' he could wake up and 'B' y'know, let's go for it. Ross Geller : Em-Emily? Em-Emily? Emily! Stephen Waltham : No. Andrea Waltham : You can forget about Emily, she's not with us. Stephen Waltham : We've come for her things. Ross Geller : Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are preparing to leave for New York when Monica brings up the idea of breaking into Emily's apartment while she is away. However, Ross reminds them that this is insane and they should not do it."}
-{"dialogues": "Stephen Waltham : She's in hiding. She's utterly humiliated. She doesn't want to see you ever again. Andrea Waltham : We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey. But, I think you're absolutely delicious. Stephen Waltham : Excuse me, I'm standing right here! Andrea Waltham : Oh yes, there you are. Rachel Green : Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, there's a whole cart outside... Stephen Waltham : Goodbye Geller. Ross Geller : Now, hold on! Hold on! Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that I'm gonna be at that airport and I hope that she'll be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachel's name, but it didn't mean anything, Okay? She's-she's just a friend and that's all! That's all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that you'll tell her that. Stephen Waltham : All right, I'll tell her. Come on bugger face! Andrea Waltham : Call me. Stephen Waltham : You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don't you ever go out the bloody window!", "summary": "Stephen and Andrea are talking about Emily, who is hiding and humiliated after a failed relationship with Stephen. Ross tries to convince Rachel to go on a honeymoon with him, despite her initial refusal. Stephen tells Andrea to tell Emily that he loves her and can't imagine spending his life with anyone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Y'know, maybe it's best that we never got to do it again. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. Y'know, technically we still are over international waters. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I'll see you there in a bit? Chandler Bing : 'Kay! Joey Tribbiani : Can I ask you something? Chandler Bing : Uhh, no. Joey Tribbiani : Felicity and I, we're watching My Giant, and I was thinking, \"I'm never gonna be as good an actor as that giant.\" Do you think I'm just wasting my life with this acting thing? Chandler Bing : No. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, y'know, you think I'll ever get there? Chandler Bing : Yes.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a conversation about their past sexual encounter, with Monica expressing regret and Chandler highlighting the uniqueness of the experience due to it occurring in international waters. Joey enters the scene and asks Chandler for advice on his own acting career, with Chandler offering both encouragement and doubt."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man. Chandler Bing : Okay man. Joey Tribbiani : But what about how much taller he is than me? Joey Tribbiani : I mean, there's no way I can make myself taller now, y'know? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, wow you've been in the bathroom for like a half-hour. Monica Geller : I know! Joey Tribbiani : Had the beef-tips, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi!", "summary": "Joey is concerned about his height and wonders if he will die an unsuccessful man. Monica returns from the bathroom after a long time and has eaten beef-tips. Chandler greets Phoebe and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You ate meat! You had sex! Chandler Bing : No we didn't! Phoebe Buffay : I know you didn't, I was talking about Monica. Monica Geller : Phoebe, I did not have sex. Phoebe Buffay : This pregnancy is throwing me all off. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm gonna go say hi the chick and the duck. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, me too! Joey Tribbiani : Why would you need to say hi to them, you've been feeding them for four days? Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, maybe I'll just go home. Monica Geller : Well, we certainly are alone.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler had sex, but they maintain they didn't; meanwhile, Phoebe thinks she's pregnant because of a chicken and duck she was feeding, leading Joey to go say hi to them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes! Good thing we have that, 'Not in New York' rule. Monica Geller : Right. Umm, listen since we're-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross's mother... Chandler Bing : Right. Monica Geller : Well, an-anyway, I just-that night meant a lot to me, I guess I'm just trying to say thanks. Chandler Bing : Oh. Y'know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn't because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me 'cause, you're really hot! Is that okay? Monica Geller : That's okay. Chandler Bing : And I'm cute too. Monica Geller : And you're cute too. Chandler Bing : Thank you! All right, I gotta go unpack. Monica Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Monica thanks Chandler for being there for her during a difficult time in London, and Chandler responds by complimenting his own attractiveness and making a suggestive remark."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Bye. Chandler Bing : I'm still on London time, does that count? Monica Geller : That counts! Chandler Bing : Oh, good! Ross Geller : Rach! Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! What are you, what are you doing here? Rachel Green : Well, I-I-I've been on Standby for a flight home for hours. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh?", "summary": "Rachel returns to the airport after being on standby for hours, but there is no sign of her ex-girlfriend Emily."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Not yet. Rachel Green : So umm, what time are you supposed to leave? Gate Agent : This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call. Ross Geller : Pretty soon I guess. Rachel Green : Yeah. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : I just, I don't understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Y'know, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she'd actually show up? Rachel Green : No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love. Ross Geller : Same difference. Gate Agent : All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board. Ross Geller : I get it! Well, that's that.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at the airport, where Ross is waiting for Rachel to arrive on their flight to Athens. However, Rachel doesn't show up, and Ross is left wondering why she didn't come."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, you know what, I think you should go. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think it'd be really good. Ross Geller : Oh, I don't, I don't, I don't know... Rachel Green : Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you! Ross Geller : I could, yeah, I can do that. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : I can't, I can't even believe her! No, y'know what, I am, I am gonna go! Rachel Green : Good! Ross Geller : I know, why not?", "summary": "Ross considers going on a trip alone to clear his head but is hesitant. Rachel encourages him to go and he eventually agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Right! Ross Geller : Right? Rachel Green : Right! Ross Geller : Y'know-thanks! Rachel Green : Okay, I'll see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here. Ross Geller : Yeah, well...nah. Rachel Green : What? Wait, what? Ross Geller : Why don't you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not? Rachel Green : Well-well, I don't know Ross-really? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, it'll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are stuck in a flight delay with only one ticket available for the next flight. Ross offers to give Rachel his extra ticket so she can leave, but she hesitates and they banter back and forth about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend. Rachel Green : Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that! Ross Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Okay! Ross Geller : Cool! Rachel Green : All right! Ross Geller : Come on! Here. Rachel Green : Oh, okay, we're going. Yeah. Ross Geller : Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket!", "summary": "Ross wants a friend and convinces Rachel to go with him to a coffee shop."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, wait-wait-wait... Ross Geller : You tell them to wait! Rachel Green : Okay. Wait! Wait! Ross Geller : Emily. Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! No! No! Emily! Rachel Green : Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! Hey, look at that, the airport's moving. Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that we're moving? Oh my God. Oh, my gosh. Monica Geller : You look cute in bubbles. Chandler Bing : Ehh, you're just liquored up. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in! Chandler Bing : I've had a very long, hard day.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel and Ross argue over Emily, while Monica compliments Rachel on her bubbly appearance and Chandler reveals he has had a tough day."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some? Chandler Bing : Ahh, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans? Chandler Bing : For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Chandler Bing : Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken. Monica Geller : Chicken? I could eat some chicken. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! Chandler Bing : Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in", "summary": "Joey wants chicken, but Chandler refuses. Joey persists, asking if Monica also wants chicken. Chandler gets frustrated and tells Joey to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : Mornin' Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver... Joey Tribbiani : Was his name Angus? Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, he was this cab driver we had in London. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Ha-ha-ha. All right, anyway... Monica Geller : Wait, what that place, that pub he took us too? Chandler Bing : Uh, The Wheatsheaf.", "summary": "Phoebe tells a story about a cab driver in London named Angus who took her and Joey to a pub called The Wheatsheaf."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh... Monica Geller : Bodington's! #ALL# : Bodington's! Woohoo! Chandler Bing : Ooh! Ahh, Pheebs, was gonna tell a story. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so, he had a really funny hat-I don't want to talk about it. Ross Geller : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Ross, Bodington's! Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : That was good beer.", "summary": "Joey and Monica drink beer and talk about Bodington's. Chandler tries to tell a story but Phoebe doesn't want to hear it. Ross joins in and they all agree that Bodington's is good beer."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ohh... Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys. Ross Geller : Y'know, I think they have those at that British pub near the trade center. Joey Tribbiani : Later! Ross Geller : Isn't Rachel supposed to be back by now? Monica Geller : Yeah, but her plane got delayed in Athens. But actually, she should be here by now. Ross Geller : Oh, so-so you talked to her. Did she, did she sound mad? Monica Geller : No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece. Ross Geller : Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'know-Emily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that? Phoebe Buffay : So you still hadn't heard from Emily?", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss their love for beer, while Monica reveals Rachel's plane was delayed in Athens. Ross becomes concerned about Rachel's return and denies abandoning her on a plane to Greece. Emily appears at the airport, leading Ross to go after her. Meanwhile, Phoebe wonders if Ross had heard from Emily."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, not since I lost her at the airport. Chandler Bing : I can't believe she can out run you man! Ross Geller : HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!! Rachel Green : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Ross Geller : Rach, Rach, I am so sorry. I am so-so sorry. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, come on! You just did what you had to do. Ross Geller : That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible. Rachel Green : Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. Ross Geller : So, what? That's it?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler compete to see who can run faster, with Rachel joining in on the fun. However, things take a turn when Ross realizes he lost Rachel at the airport and becomes determined to catch up with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, yeah! We're cool. Totally cool. Ross Geller : Oh, thanks. Oh, you're the best. Rachel Green : Oh no, you're the best. Ross Geller : Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again. Chandler Bing : Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY. Monica Geller : Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece! Rachel Green : What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, \"Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?\" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions. Chandler Bing : Oh that's not true. Rachel Green : Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London. Phoebe Buffay : London is stupid! Stupid!", "summary": "Ross sends 72 long-stem red roses to Emily's parents' house, hoping she will talk to him again; Rachel has a bad time in Greece after being abandoned by Ross; Rachel blames herself for her poor decision-making."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh... No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life. Monica Geller : I'll do it! Rachel Green : That's fine. So Monica, you are now in control of my love life. Chandler Bing : Okay, I gotta go to work. Chandler Bing : And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back. Chandler Bing : Pheebs! Always a pleasure. Monica Geller : Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception. Rachel Green : Ohh, he's married! Ross is married. I can't-I still can't believe it. Monica Geller : Honey, sweetie, by the edges.", "summary": "Rachel makes a mistake and allows Phoebe to make her decisions; Phoebe refuses due to power issues. Monica volunteers to control Rachel's love life instead. Chandler goes to work while discussing Rachel with Phoebe; they exchange pleasantries. Monica shows Rachel a photo of Joey and her at the reception, leading to Rachel realizing Ross is married."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it ... Monica Geller : Ohh. Rachel Green : ...I mean it's my fault. Monica Geller : Sweetie! Edges! Fingers! Smudgey! Pictures! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Okay. That's okay. I-I know that you're very upset right now. I know, I know that wasn't about me. Joey Tribbiani : I bet it was about her a little. Monica Geller : If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! I mean, he's nice, he's cute. Rachel Green : Yeah, I guess Gunther is kinda... Monica Geller : Oh, what about that guy over there? Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss Rachel's mistake, while Joey makes a comment about Ross. Monica tries to distract Rachel by pointing out other eligible bachelors in the coffee shop, including Gunther and a new guy Rachel flirted with."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Monica Geller : You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him. Rachel Green : All right, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me. Joey Tribbiani : Say that to him and you're golden. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs! Monica Geller : We got out pictures back from London. Here's all of us at the Tower of London. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. Chandler Bing : All right, y'know what, we've been talking about London too much haven't we?", "summary": "Rachel is hesitant to talk to a guy, but Monica convinces her to do so. Joey advises Rachel to say something flirtatious to the man. Phoebe returns from London with photos of the group at the Tower of London. Chandler interrupts their conversation to change the topic."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out. #ALL# : Sorry. Monica Geller : What happened? Rachel Green : Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night. Monica Geller : See, didn't I tell you?! You're getting over Ross already! Rachel Green : Well... Gunther : Get out! Monica Geller : What took you so long? Chandler Bing : I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow. Monica Geller : Oh, good.", "summary": "Rachel gets a date for the night, Monica teases her about getting over Ross, Gunther enters the conversation, and Chandler reveals he is quitting his job."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So, thanks for having me over! Rach. Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : See ya!! What the hell was that?! Monica Geller : Probably some y'know, European good-bye thing he picked up in London. Rachel Green : That's not European! Phoebe Buffay : Well, it felt French. Rachel Green : Oh God, I really had a good time! Dave : Yeah, me too. So, I guess this is it. Rachel Green : Yeah. Umm, unless you wanna come inside? Dave : Yeah! Rachel Green : Okay. Oh, uh, wait a minute, y'know what? I uh, I can't decide this. Umm, okay, just hold on a second.", "summary": "Dave invites Chandler over for dinner and they have a good time. Chandler thanks Dave and says his goodbyes, but then starts acting awkwardly. Rachel joins in and tries to help Chandler leave, but he becomes indecisive and flustered. In the end, Chandler leaves without a clear decision about whether or not to come inside."}
-{"dialogues": "Dave : Okay, yeah! Rachel Green : Umm, hi! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Is Monica around? I-I have to ask her something. Ross Geller : She's doing her laundry. Rachel Green : What's that? Ross Geller : It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch! Rachel Green : Oh, honey that's awful. Ross Geller : Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while. Rachel Green : But, it's not raining.", "summary": "Ross receives 72 long-stemmed red roses in the mail, one for each day he has known and loved Emily, but he plans to turn them into mulch instead of keeping them. Monica will make potpourri out of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I can't catch a break! Rachel Green : Y'know what Ross? You're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit right here. I'm gonna make you a cup of tea and we're gonna talk this thing whole out. All right? Hey, Dave! Dave : Yeah? Rachel Green : Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now. Monica Geller : Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : What is the matter with you?! Do you want to fall into the trap? Do you want to fall into the trap?! Rachel Green : Ohh! You did not drop any socks! Monica Geller : I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do? Rachel Green : Well, ultimately, I was trying y'know, I-I wanted...tell him y'know, that I'm still in love with him.", "summary": "Ross can't catch a break and sits down with Rachel to talk things out. Monica interrupts and accuses Rachel of blowing off Dave. Rachel denies it and tries to tell Monica that she still has feelings for Ross, but Monica isn't having it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What?!! You cannot tell him that!! Rachel Green : Why? Why not?! People love to hear that! Monica Geller : I make the decisions, and I say no. Rachel Green : Well, y'know what, no, you do not make my decisions because y'know what, you're fired. Monica Geller : You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, \"I'm not fired!\" Ha! Rachel Green : Well... Monica Geller : Rachel!! Come on! Let me in! Joey Tribbiani : Havin' some trouble? Monica Geller : Rachel locked the door. Joey Tribbiani : I'll kick that door in if you give me a little sugar.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over who makes decisions for their friend, Joey. Rachel tries to fire Monica but Monica refuses to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rachel! Let me in! Rachel! Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec? Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : I really need to talk to you. Rachel Green : Well, then talk! Monica Geller : Okay, I will. Remember that thing that we just discussed that you wanted to do? Rachel Green : Yes! Ross Geller : What thing? Monica Geller : Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might end up hurting. Ross Geller : Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. My God, think of the massacre.", "summary": "Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons but Monica thinks it's a bad idea. They discuss the potential dangers and difficulties of the class. Ross enters the conversation and agrees with Monica, adding that he needs to cancel an order of giant teddy bears he sent to Emily because he worries about the massacre that could occur if they are delivered."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm gonna do it. Monica Geller : All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't. Rachel Green : But I... Monica Geller : Please! Rachel Green : All right, fine. Monica Geller : Joey, I'm in! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Good deal. #ALL# : Pheebs! Hey Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, okay, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah?", "summary": "Rachel plans to confess her love to Ross, but Monica and Joey are skeptical and try to dissuade her. Phoebe enters the conversation and agrees with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Umm, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and how you were kinda feeling left out? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, that's so nice! How great! Well, where? Where's the trip?! Monica Geller : Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic , in Central Park! Phoebe Buffay : Central... Park! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, all of us! All day! Phoebe Buffay : That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? \"Well, it's right by my house, all right!\" Chandler Bing : Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea. Rachel Green : Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I just-y'know-stop it!", "summary": "Phoebe felt left out after Joey and Monica went to London without her, so they all decided to take a trip together. They planned to go on a picnic in Central Park, but Phoebe had just come from the park and wasn't interested. Chandler defended his idea of going to Central Park, but Rachel was uncomfortable with it and told him to stop."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group. Phoebe Buffay : That's fine, just don't bring it in my mouth. Monica Geller : Makes me wanna puke! Ross Geller : Hey everybody, Pheebs is here! Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe! Chandler Bing : Hey, Pheebs! Rachel Green : Phoebe, woo! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, woo! Hi. Chandler Bing : Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little... Y'know, it didn't have any... It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that?", "summary": "The group decides to go on a picnic together but it doesn't go well and they end up planning a weekend trip to Atlantic City instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Mine! Ross Geller : Wait! It was my plan. Joey Tribbiani : Nooo, I said we needed a new plan. Ross Geller : And, I came up with Atlantic City. Joey Tribbiani : Which, is the new plan! Monica Geller : Okay, well, why don't we all meet upstairs in an hour? Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Ooh-ahh, I'm gonna go pack. I'm gonna go pack my ass off! Monica Geller : Come on Rach, let's go. Rachel Green : Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute. Monica Geller : No! Rachel, you didn't find anyone so you can't tell him.", "summary": "Ross comes up with a plan to take Joey's apartment, but Joey disagrees and wants a new plan. Monica suggests everyone meet upstairs in an hour, while Phoebe excitedly prepares to pack her things. Rachel tries to avoid telling Ross about her lack of success in finding someone to move in with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, y'know what, that doesn't matter. Monica Geller : Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back? Rachel Green : Yeah, I-I don't care. Monica Geller : Okay. I-I can't watch. Rachel Green : What 'cha readin'? Ross Geller : The paper. Rachel Green : Yeah, what's it about? Ross Geller : Events from around the globe. Rachel Green : Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong. Ross Geller : Sure. Once, at work I-I thought carbon dating was fossilized...", "summary": "Rachel confides in Monica about her feelings for Ross, but he doesn't reciprocate. They discuss a newspaper article about global events. Rachel reveals she has something important to tell Ross, despite advice from others not to."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, Ross, I'm really trying to tell you something here. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Go ahead. Rachel Green : Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, I'm still in love with you Ross. Ross Geller : Wow. Umm... Huh... I'm-I'm not sure what to do with that right now. Ross Geller : What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean. Rachel Green : I'm so dead serious. I'm totally serious. Ross Geller : Why are you laughing? Rachel Green : Because , because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel was like, \"You are such an idiot!\"", "summary": "Rachel confesses her continued feelings for Ross, who is shocked and unsure of how to respond."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, well I am married. Even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, that's not funny. Ross Geller : Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. \"Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?\" Don't know! Rachel Green : Oh God, ohh, okay, y'know what, do you think ah, do you think that you just forget that I told you this? Ross Geller : Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is... Rachel Green : The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily. Ross Geller : That is what the thing is. Rachel Green : Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that? Ross Geller : No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you. Rachel Green : That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice.", "summary": "Ross is married but hasn't spoken to his wife since their wedding. He can't reach her and doesn't know where she is. Rachel brings up the fact that he's married and he reveals that he's still in love with Emily, his ex-wife. They have a conversation about how things will be between them now that Ross is married again."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No thank you for... Thank you. Ross Geller : Okay, let's go! Chandler Bing : Atlantic City! Phoebe Buffay : Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking? Monica Geller : Oh my God! You're water broke! The Guys : Ohh! Phoebe Buffay : All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! #ALL# : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait-wait! Chandler Bing : Pheebs! We have to take you to the hospital now!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler go to Atlantic City, while Phoebe and Joey roll dice. Monica reveals that Phoebe is in labor, and they rush her to the hospital."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now. Rachel Green : High-five, the babies are coming! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, remember when my water broke? Monica Geller : I can't believe Phoebe's gonna have her babies! Chandler Bing : I know, it's beautiful. Amazing. Chandler Bing : Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex. Monica Geller : Do you know anything about women? Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : That's all right. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Babies are coming! \ud83c\udf89 Phoebe's water broke, and the gang is excited for her impending delivery. Chandler can't believe he had to kiss Rachel and Phoebe every time he left a room, and Monica wonders if Chandler knows anything about women."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Nurse : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me. Nurse : Okay. Have you started having contractions? Phoebe Buffay : Not yet. Umm, I heard they really hurt, do they hurt? Nurse : Well... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Ross Geller : It's all right. Nurse : Now, which of you is the father? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is in labor and is experiencing contractions, but has not started yet. She is worried about the pain and asks if it hurts. The nurse confirms that it can be painful, but also reassures her that it will be okay. Meanwhile, Ross Geller enters the room and tries to comfort Phoebe. It is revealed that none of the babies are the father's, as they are actually Phoebe's brother's."}
-{"dialogues": "Nurse : Okay... Rachel Green : I am so gonna miss watching you freak people out like that! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me! Ross Geller : Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did! Monica Geller : Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket. Chandler Bing : That's right. Rachel Green : You-you're not wearing a jacket. Monica Geller : Oh man! I did it again! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. And then my mom wants to know--Joey, what are you doing?!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey reminisce about past pranks, while Phoebe prepares for her upcoming wedding. Ross and Monica return from their trip, with Monica forgetting her jacket. Chandler tries to help Rachel with a phone call, but things quickly become chaotic as Phoebe's mom calls and Joey starts a new prank."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I gotta get the before shot! Rachel Green : Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, she's so stupid! Ross Geller : Look, Pheebs-Pheebs, it's gonna be okay. Phoebe Buffay : That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina! Rachel Green : Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful. Ross Geller : Yeah, he's head of the department. Phoebe Buffay : All right-Ooh! Oh dead God, save me!", "summary": "Doctor is late due to falling in shower and hitting her head. Phoebe is upset and jokes about having kids come out of her vagina. Ross tries to calm her down and mentions that the doctor is wonderful and heads of the department."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : I'm having my first contraction! Chandler Bing : Oh no. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, it's not bad. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! And so the miracle of life begins, and aaiiyyyeeee! Chandler Bing : Hey! You okay? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, something hurts! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, it's sympathy pains. Ohh, that's so sweet! Joey Tribbiani : Are they? I didn't know I cared that much.", "summary": "Phoebe experiences her first contraction while hanging out with her friends Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hello. Dr. Harad : Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. Chandler Bing : Did he just say, he loves Fonzie? Monica Geller : That's what it sounded like. Chandler Bing : All right... Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right? Phoebe Buffay : No-no-no! We haven't started yet. Where's Alice? Frank Buffay Jr. : Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.", "summary": "Phoebe is giving birth and has Dr. Harad as her delivery doctor. He reassures her that everything will be okay and mentions he loves Fonzie before leaving to do an internal examination. Chandler expresses confusion at this statement, while Monica and Frank Buffay Jr. arrive late to the delivery room. Frank offers to be Phoebe's coach until Alice arrives, but Phoebe is not worried as she knows about the \"la-Mazada stuff\" from Alice."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Rachel Green : Monica? You gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my! Rachel Green : They're male nurses. Joey Tribbiani : Not in my head. Rachel Green : Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say? Monica Geller : Umm. Umm. Umm. I don't think so. Rachel Green : What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go. Monica Geller : Umm, why don't you give me something that would be a good reason and-and then I'll tell you if it's true.", "summary": "Rachel arranges dates with two male nurses, but Monica is hesitant to join them, citing various reasons."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Harder than it sounds. Isn't it? Rachel Green : Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them. Joey Tribbiani : Yep! There's always room for Jell-O... Rachel Green : Joey, how do you make that dirty? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, Grandma's chicken salad... Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Get a shot of this. Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies... Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt either-Ooh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it. Ross Geller : Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel go to the cafeteria with some nurses they met. Joey makes inappropriate comments about Jell-O and women's bodies. Phoebe experiences pain during her pregnancy. Ross wonders where Monica and Rachel are."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really? Male nurses? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I was bummed too. Chandler Bing : So they're going on dates? When? Joey Tribbiani : I think Saturday-. Frank Buffay Jr. : What's with him? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder. Dr. Harad : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Dr. Harad : Let's see what we got here. Ohh, y'know, Fonzie dated triplets. Chandler Bing : This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor?", "summary": "Male nurses go on dates."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Harad : Oh no-no-no. Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzerelli. The Fonz. Chandler Bing : All right. Frank Buffay Jr. : It's not that weird, is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's very weird! I don't want some guy down there telling me, I'm y'know, dilatedamundo! Ross Geller : To be fair, he doesn't seem to be impersonating Fonzie... Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie! Ross Geller : Again, it's not that he... Chandler Bing : Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are! Monica Geller : Umm, listen there's something I think you should know. Chandler Bing : Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.", "summary": "Arthur Fonzerelli (Fonzie) is mistaken for a doctor by a group of people in a hospital, including Dr. Harad, Chandler Bing, Frank Buffay Jr., and Phoebe Buffay. The situation becomes confusing as they try to figure out who is the real doctor, with some characters defending Fonzie and others insisting on getting another doctor. Meanwhile, Monica Geller reveals that she has started dating a nurse."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him. Chandler Bing : Fine! Maybe I will too! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. Get up! Get up! Get up! Ross Geller : Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! And you're going into what grade? Dr. Oberman : Umm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early... Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor. Dr. Oberman : Oh no, I'm fully qualified to... Phoebe Buffay : Shh! Doogie, shh! Doesn't anybody understand that I'm gonna be having babies soon? Huh? Go! Go little boy, go! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh cool! You made him cry!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler consider going out with someone, while Joey finds something interesting in a gift shop. Phoebe meets a doctor who is mistaken for being a child, and she expresses her excitement about having babies soon."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey's Doctor : Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, well, what else could it be? Joey's Doctor : It's kidney stones. Joey Tribbiani : Or? Joey's Doctor : Kidney stones! Dr. Harad : All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky. Phoebe Buffay : They are. Why? Dr. Harad : They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday. Phoebe Buffay : Happy birthday! Dr. Harad : Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie.", "summary": "Joey has kidney stones."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Honey, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice. Phoebe Buffay : I know, it is. Rachel Green : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Can I tell you a little secret? Rachel Green : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : I want to keep one. Rachel Green : Ohh, I'm gonna be on the news! Rachel Green : Okay, Phoebe, honey, you gotta be kidding. I mean, you know you cannot keep one of these babies! Phoebe Buffay : Why not?! Maybe I can, you don't know! Rachel Green : Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!", "summary": "Frank and Alice are having babies. Phoebe wants one. Rachel thinks it's a terrible idea and doesn't want Phoebe to keep one."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know? Rachel Green : Phoebe, no! This is, this is insane. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just ask him! Rachel Green : Me?! Phoebe Buffay : I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out! Rachel Green : No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!! Phoebe Buffay : You're right. Phoebe Buffay : Tell him it's for you. Monica Geller : Feeling a little better sweetie? Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to ask Frank to give her one of his triplets, but Rachel thinks it's insane and won't do it. Monica tries to comfort Phoebe, and Joey admits he threw up."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Me too. Ross Geller : Hey! I just heard. What's up? Joey's Doctor : Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra... Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an option-what's a urethra? Are you crazy?! Phoebe Buffay : So did you ask him? Rachel Green : No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm kinda on a clock here. Dr. Harad : Oh Fonzie. Rachel Green : Y'know who I always liked? Mork. Phoebe Buffay : Undo it. Undo it. Undo it.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss Joey's medical issue, kidney stones, which are too close to his bladder for treatment. Joey is hesitant about going up the urethra, and Phoebe tries to help by asking Dr. Harad about it. Meanwhile, Rachel reveals that she has a crush on Mork from Ork."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Harad : Fonzie met Mork. Mork froze Fonzie. Rachel Green : Yeah, but umm... Yes, but, Fonzie was already cool, so he wasn't hurt, right? Dr. Harad : Yeah, that's right. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : How are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, doctor says any minute now. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in? Phoebe Buffay : Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do. Male Nurse : Hey!", "summary": "Fonzie meets Mork, who freezes him. Fonzie is already cool, so he's not hurt."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Male Nurse : Rachel. Rachel Green : Monica, this is Dan , one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. Uh Dan, Monica. Dan : Nice to meet you. Monica Geller : Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really! Chandler Bing : So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it? Monica Geller : Chandler! Dan : Nah that's okay. I'm just doing this to put myself through medical school. Chandler Bing : Oh. Dan : And it didn't feel so girlie during the Gulf War.", "summary": "Monica introduces Rachel to a guy she's going on a date with, but Chandler teases Dan about being a male nurse."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sure. And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. Monica Geller : So, why wait 'til Saturday, are you free tomorrow? Dan : Sure! I'll get somebody to cover my shift. Monica Geller : Oh, great! Chandler Bing : Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night? Delivery Room Nurse : No. Chandler Bing : All right. Very good. Phoebe Buffay : Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!! Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, get these things out of me! Ross Geller : Breathe! Breathe! Breathe throw the pain.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica plan a night out on Saturday, but Chandler has to cover his shift at work. Dan offers to help with the shift, and Phoebe gets upset when she sees Joey getting stitches. Ross tries to calm Phoebe down by telling her to breathe."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! Ross Geller : I do too! I do too! Joey Tribbiani : Argh! Ross Geller : Argh! Joey Tribbiani : Argh! Ross Geller : Argh! Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, I love you. Okay, bye! Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Frank Buffay Jr. : That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now! Rachel Green : Oh, honey, don't worry. She's gonna make it on time.", "summary": "Ross and Joey want drugs, but Frank Buffay Jr. interrupts to say that Alice's mom has left five hours ago and should arrive soon. Rachel reassures them that she will make it on time."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. So Frank, three babies. Whew, that just seems like a lot, huh? Frank Buffay Jr. : Not to me. Rachel Green : Yeah, fair enough. Dr. Harad : Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please. Monica Geller : Bye Dan! Dan : Uh, bye Monica. Chandler Bing : Bye, momi-moo. Dr. Harad : All right, I need a clamp, sterile towel, and channel 31. Phoebe Buffay : What is that?", "summary": "Frank and Rachel have three babies."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Dr. Harad : Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing. Joey's Doctor : Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. Dr. Harad : Okay, now push! That's it push! Just concentrate on pushing! Yeah, here we go! Dan : I see the head. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yes, it has a head! Dr. Harad : All right. Keep pushing! Come on! Frank Buffay Jr. : I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son. Dr. Harad : All right. Here's your first baby. Frank Buffay Jr. : YESSSSS!!!!! We got a baby boy!!", "summary": "Baby born"}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes! Frank Buffay Jr. : Frank Jr. Jr.!! Rachel Green : Oh, how does he look? How does he look? Frank Buffay Jr. : So gross! Dr. Harad : Okay. You ready to push again? Phoebe Buffay : I already had a baby. Leave me alone. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, okay, come on, you can do it. You can do it! Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? Frank Buffay Jr. : Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on! Dr. Harad : All right, he's coming. He's coming!", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr. has two children, Little Leslie and Little Chandler, despite feeling gross about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, where's his thing? Frank Buffay Jr. : Chandler's a girl! Chandler Bing : Oh God, kindergarten flashback. Frank Buffay Jr. : They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl! Chandler Bing : Okay, keep saying it! Alice Knight : Am I too late?! Frank Buffay Jr. : No-no ah, everything's okay. Everybody's healthy there's 30 fingers and 30 toes. Alice Knight : We have our babies? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Alice Knight : Oh, we have our babies.", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr. and Chandler Bing discuss whether or not Chandler's baby is a boy or a girl, with Frank insisting it's a girl despite Chandler's confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Ross Geller : You did it, man. Joey's Doctor : Would you like to see them? Joey Tribbiani : They're so small! Dan : So, I'll call you tomorrow. Monica Geller : Great! Chandler Bing : So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man? Monica Geller : Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this. Monica Geller : I think you're better than you think you are.", "summary": "Joey discovers his frozen sperm are too small, Chandler and Monica flirt with each other, and Dan plans to call Joey the next day."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really? Okay, so... Monica Geller : Know when to stop. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay? Monica Geller : Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. Don't do the dance. Chandler Bing : Right! Monica Geller : I think you're my favorite. Phoebe Buffay : Which one do you have? Monica Geller : I don't care. Rachel Green : Hi. Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls. Phoebe Buffay : But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know...", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a conversation about stopping their relationship; Monica plans to tell Dan it won't happen; Phoebe asks which one Chandler is her favorite; Rachel enters the conversation and mentions that Frank and Alice are still making phone calls outside."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, umm, no honey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies. #ALL# : Yeah, sure yeah. Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Well, if you're gonna cry. Monica Geller : Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing! Phoebe Buffay : I know. Rachel Green : So does it really hurt as bad as they say? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. You won't be able to take it. Chandler Bing : So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her? Phoebe Buffay : They're gonna call her Chandler.", "summary": "Phoebe gives birth to twins and has a hard time letting them go, wishing she could take them home and see them every day. Monica and Rachel are proud of her, but Phoebe is struggling with the idea of letting them go. Chandler makes a joke about the baby's name."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think? Phoebe Buffay : Works on you. Monica Geller : Come in. I've been waiting for you. Rachel Green : Hi! I just wanna--Ahhh!!! Oh my God! Oh my God! Monica Geller : Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap. Rachel Green : Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy! Monica Geller : Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha! Rachel Green : That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta? Monica Geller : Uh-huh, that one! Rachel Green : Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. Maybe that's him.", "summary": "Monica Geller is hiding a secret from her friends - she is dating someone from work. Rachel Green becomes suspicious and demands details when Monica returns from a nap."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, umm, okay, umm... It's just Joey and Ross. Rachel Green : Why aren't you guys at the movie? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out! Ross Geller : I had to talk loud because the movie was loud! Joey Tribbiani : He's talking to London! Monica Geller : But why?! Did he get in touch with Emily? Joey Tribbiani : Well no, not yet. He's calling everyone on her side of the family hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her. Ross Geller : I-I-I don't care if I said some other girl's name you prissy, old twit! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Way to suck up to the family. Chandler Bing : Ha-ha-ha--enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!", "summary": "Ross and Joey were at a movie but got kicked out due to Ross's loud phone call. Ross was trying to reach Emily, an ex-girlfriend, but kept accidentally calling other members of her family instead. Monica and Rachel are confused by Ross's actions, while Chandler joins in with a humorous comment about fax paper."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux! Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned. Monica Geller : Vomit tux? Who vomited on-y'know what, what you up to Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host! Monica Geller : Oh that's great! Joey Tribbiani : A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, PBS! Monica Geller : What's wrong with PBS? Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, what's right with them?", "summary": "Vomit tuxedo causes trouble for Joey Tribbiani as he prepares for a telethon job as co-host. Monica Geller expresses confusion while Phoebe Buffay shows disdain for PBS."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Why don't you like PBS, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back. Chandler Bing : Well y'know a lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs. Phoebe Buffay : All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys! Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies. Phoebe Buffay : This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What about you, having those babies for your brother? Talk about selfish! Phoebe Buffay : What-what are you talking about?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. So?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay writes to Sesame Street after her mother commits suicide, hoping to receive a response that will help her feel better. However, she receives a lousy key chain in return and is left feeling disappointed and hurt. Joey Tribbiani tries to make amends by suggesting they appear on TV together, but Phoebe accuses him of being selfish for wanting to be on TV. The conversation highlights the complex emotions surrounding grief and the challenges of finding support in difficult times."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless. Joey Tribbiani : Well, may I ask for one example? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's... Y'know there's-no you may not! Joey Tribbiani : That's because all people are selfish. Phoebe Buffay : Are you calling me selfish?! Joey Tribbiani : Are you calling you people? Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right? Phoebe Buffay : I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius. Ross Geller : Hello. Emily Waltham : Hello, Ross?", "summary": "It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry. There are totally good deeds that are selfless. An example is... Y'know there's-no you may not! All people are selfish. Are you calling me selfish?! No, all people. Sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?"}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! Hi! Emily Waltham : Ross, I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Good-bye! Ross Geller : No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me! Emily Waltham : Really? About what? Ross Geller : Look you're my wife. We're-we're married. Y'know? I-I love you. I-I really miss you. Emily Waltham : I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do. Ross Geller : She's talking. #ALL# : Yay! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant? Joey Tribbiani : That he doesn't exist.", "summary": "Ross Geller is obsessed with reconnecting with his ex-wife Emily Waltham after she contacts him, despite her initial reluctance to speak with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Right. Rachel Green : So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend? Chandler Bing : Uhh, yeah. She uh, she uh, she uh might've mentioned him. Rachel Green : So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man? Monica Geller : Ohh, he's really shy. I-I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet. Rachel Green : I don't care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had! Chandler Bing : Really?! That's what you heard? You said that? Monica Geller : I might've said that. Why is that funny? Chandler Bing : Because I'm very happy for him! And you, you lucky dog!", "summary": "Monica has a secret boyfriend and doesn't want to introduce him to everyone yet, but Rachel is eager to meet him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Well, Emily's willing to work on the relationship. Chandler Bing : Yes! Monica Geller : That's great! Ross Geller : In London! Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : She wants me to move to London. Monica Geller : But you live here! You know that. Rachel Green : What-what-what are you gonna do?", "summary": "Ross is willing to work on his relationship with Emily, but she wants him to move to London."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben. Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife. Ross Geller : It could happen. Joey Tribbiani : How ya doin'? Welcome. Good to see ya! Stage Director : This will be your phone. Joey Tribbiani : That's great. But uh, I'm not really expecting a lot of calls. Stage Director : No you answer it and take pledges. Joey Tribbiani : But I'm the host! Stage Director : No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones. Joey Tribbiani : You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Carol and Susan to move to London with Ben, but Monica is skeptical. Joey joins the conversation and gets confused as he takes phone pledges for a charity event."}
-{"dialogues": "Stage Director : Well, here's your phone doctor. Phoebe Buffay : I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass! Rachel Green : Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish. Phoebe Buffay : I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right! Chandler Bing : Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question? Monica Geller : Sure! Chandler Bing : If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard? Rachel Green : Chandler! Is he? Monica Geller : Well, y'know I-I-I think I'm gonna respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend. Chandler Bing : Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this.", "summary": "Phoebe cannot find a selfless good deed to help an elderly neighbor, but after sneaking onto his property and being force-fed cider and cookies, she feels wonderful. Rachel doubts that all good deeds are selfless, while Chandler asks Monica about her new secret boyfriend's cooking skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben. Emily Waltham : I understand that would be difficult. Ross Geller : Yeah, would you please consider moving here? I mean you were gonna move here anyway, why can't you just do that? Emily Waltham : I don't know, it's just... Ross Geller : Oh-oh-okay, but-but I know, that even though I've been a-a complete idiot up 'til now, I mean, I mean you-you-you have to come here. You have to come here so we can work this out. Emily Waltham : All right. Ross Geller : All right, did you just say all right? Emily Waltham : I did. Now I'm the idiot. Ross Geller : Oh, Emily that is, that is so great. It's gonna be so great! We're gonna be like-like-like two idiots in love! Emily Waltham : Ross, there's one thing that really scares me still.", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Emily to move to London with him, but she hesitates due to her fear of being away from her fianc\u00e9 Ben. Despite his initial reluctance, Ross eventually agrees to move to London in order to be with Emily."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes, tell me. Emily Waltham : Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends. Ross Geller : I know. I am, I am so sorry. Emily Waltham : And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her. Ross Geller : Again, very sorry. Emily Waltham : I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her! Ross Geller : Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you. Emily Waltham : All right. I'll come to New York and we'll try and make this work. Ross Geller : Oh that is so great! That's... Emily Waltham : As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.", "summary": "Emily Waltham is humiliated after being left at the altar and sees Ross Geller at the airport with Rachel. She becomes angry and upset, unable to be in the same room as Rachel. However, Emily decides to come to New York to try and make things work with Ross despite her feelings for Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes. Chandler Bing : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh-ohh! Monica Geller : Great! Ross Geller : No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Monica Geller : What?! You can't-what did you tell her? Ross Geller : I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? I'm actually asking you! Chandler Bing : Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends. Monica Geller : Yeah! But, he can't not exactly see Emily, I mean that's his wife.", "summary": "Ross asks Emily to come to New York, and she agrees. However, Ross stipulates that he will only go if he promises never to see Rachel again. The group tries to convince him otherwise, but Ross is resolute in his decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Chandler Bing : That's true! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life. Chandler Bing : That's true! Monica Geller : No, you cannot. Ross Geller : Thanks for the help, problem solved. Monica Geller : Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mon! Monica Geller : Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV? Joey Tribbiani : See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.", "summary": "Phoebe and Chandler agree that Rachel cannot be cut out of their lives despite knowing her since high school. Monica supports this decision. Meanwhile, Joey is set to appear on TV despite a mix-up in his agent's office."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You're not on TV. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? Chandler Bing : Hey, there he is! There he is! Joey Tribbiani : Hello New York! Emeril : Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs... Chandler Bing : How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel! Monica Geller : Hi Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day. Chandler Bing : Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.", "summary": "The gang watches cooking channel and gets excited. Joey borrows a broiling pan from Monica but then loses it. Chandler uses the pan to cook the duck that throws up caterpillars."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : William Sonoma, fall catalog, Page 27. Chandler Bing : Expect it in 4-6 weeks. Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves. Monica Geller : Yeah, so? Chandler Bing : Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had. Monica Geller : Y'know what, champ? I think I'll pass. Chandler Bing : Why? Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : What's your point? Joey Tribbiani : PBS telethon. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.", "summary": "Monica rejects Chandler's suggestion to spend time with him at William Sonoma, while Joey and Phoebe discuss the PBS telethon."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What?! What good is that gonna do anybody? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not. Joey Tribbiani : Now, y'know the bee probably died after he stung ya. Phoebe Buffay : Aw, dammit! Stage Director : Back on in 30 seconds people! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me? Pbs Volunteer : Hey, no way, I'm in the shot man. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man! You've been here all day! Pbs Volunteer : Yeah, I-I'm taking pledges here, eh? Stage Director : We're on in 3, 2,", "summary": "A bee stings a person, making them happy. Joey Tribbiani assumes the bee died after stinging them. Phoebe Buffay explains that the bee just looked tough in front of its friends. Joey wants to switch places with Pbs Volunteer, who is taking pledges."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary Collins : Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to... Ross Geller : Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. Monica Geller : A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, it's not a toy. Ross Geller : Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? Ask again later. Later is not good enough. Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken! Monica Geller : All right, let me see. Will Chandler have sex tonight? Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me. Joey Tribbiani : PBS Telethon. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.", "summary": "Ross Geller must choose between keeping his wife Rachel or his best friend Chandler in a difficult decision. He consults a Magic 8 Ball for guidance but it breaks, leaving him with no clear answer. Monica makes a pledge to donate $200 to the telethon while Phoebe offers her support."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed. Joey Tribbiani : And you don't a little good about donating the money? Phoebe Buffay : No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster. Joey Tribbiani : A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, not the one I had my eye on. Gary Collins : It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers... Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, Mr. Joseph Tribbiani! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feel-Oh no! Chandler Bing : Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best. Monica Geller : Keep talking.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay donates $200 to a charity despite still being mad at Sesame Street for ruining her childhood. Joey Tribbiani is surprised and grateful for the donation, but Phoebe is not happy about it. Gary Collins announces that they have surpassed last year's pledge total, with Joey's pledge being the one that made it happen. Meanwhile, Chandler Bing reveals that he is only great because of Monica Geller's support."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH...MY...GOD. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex! Monica Geller : Well, if we owe it? Oh my... When is Joey gonna be home? Chandler Bing : Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on. Monica Geller : But, I just cleaned the bathroom. Chandler Bing : Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves. Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : All right, let's show them how it's done. Monica Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a romantic moment where they express their feelings for each other. However, their excitement is short-lived as Joey enters the room, interrupting their intimate moment. Despite this, Chandler and Monica continue to flirt and try to find a way to be together without Joey's knowledge."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ow! Chandler Bing : Y'know that wasn't part of it? Monica Geller : I know! Rachel Green : Hi! Are you ready? We're gonna be late! Ross Geller : For what? Rachel Green : For Stella! Remember? She's gettin' her grove back in like 20 minutes. Ross Geller : Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily. Rachel Green : Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay! Ross Geller : It's not that easy, there's still a lot of relationship stuff. Rachel Green : Like what?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are injured during a dance routine. Rachel arrives late to pick them up for an event with Stella. Ross has forgotten about the event and makes excuses."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Just stuff. Y'know kinda what Emily wants. Rachel Green : Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help. Ross Geller : No. No. You-you can't help. I mean, I kinda have to do this without your help. Rachel Green : Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to... Hi! Ross Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy! Ross Geller : Hello. Hi sweetie. Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. So will you come to New York? Monica Geller : Never done that before. Chandler Bing : Nope. Monica Geller : Hi!", "summary": "Ross wants to fix something for Emily but doesn't want to ask for help. Rachel suggests he talk to her about it, but Ross insists he can handle it on his own. Rachel tries to motivate him by pointing out that he loves Emily and will regret not trying. Meanwhile, Chandler and Monica enter the conversation, with Chandler joking about never having done something like what Ross is considering and Monica asking how she can help."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Monica? What time is it? Chandler Bing : Uhh, 9. Joey Tribbiani : But it's dark out. Monica Geller : Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like. Joey Tribbiani : I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise. Monica Geller : I'm really getting tired of sneaking around. Chandler Bing : I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time. Monica Geller : All weekend? That's a whole lotta naked. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I can say that I have a conference and you can say you have a chef thing.", "summary": "The group discusses their daily routines and Monica expresses tiredness of sneaking around. Chandler suggests going away for a weekend without interruptions and being naked the entire time."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey! Chandler Bing : Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. Monica Geller : Wait! What about Joey? Monica Geller : Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there! Monica Geller : Oh now that-that-that's funny, it seems like Chandler's conference could've been in Connecticut or Vermont. Chandler Bing : I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference. Ross Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey.", "summary": "Monica wants to go to a culinary fair in New Jersey, but Chandler has a conference there and Phoebe finds it funny that they could have been in different states. Joey and Ross enter the conversation, with Monica mentioning her plans and Chandler defending his conference's legitimacy."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her. Monica Geller : No, she's out shopping. Ross Geller : Damn! Chandler Bing : What's going on? Ross Geller : I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute! So when Emily comes you're just, you're not gonna see Rachel anymore? Ross Geller : Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the \"I get to see my wife,\" part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. Monica Geller : Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work? Ross Geller : I have no idea. I mean... But-but I assure you I will figure it out. Joey Tribbiani : Doesn't seem like it's going to work, I mean...", "summary": "Ross tries to talk to Rachel but she's not there; he then finds out Emily is coming and becomes distracted. Monica questions how they will be in the same room without seeing each other, while Joey doesn't think it will work out."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi, guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Chandler Bing : Uh, hey! Rachel Green : What's going on? Chandler Bing : We're flipping Monica's mattress. Joey Tribbiani : So I'm thinking, basically we pick it up and then we flip it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's better than my way. Rachel Green : Oh okay, hey guys, would you flip mine too? Chandler Bing : Aww, man! Rachel Green : Oh look! A letter from my mom.", "summary": "Rachel Green asks her friends if they can flip her mattress, and they agree to do so. However, things take a unexpected turn when Rachel's mother sends a letter that changes their plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So, Rach, y'know-y'know how Emily's coming right? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! I know. Phoebe Buffay : Can you hear anything? Chandler Bing : Oh yes, somebody just said, \"Can you hear anything?\" Monica Geller : Hey, Joey's ass! What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here. Monica Geller : Ooh, candy bars, crossword puzzles... Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, Madlibs, mine! Chandler Bing : Condoms? Joey Tribbiani : You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang hides items in a locked bathroom ahead of a wedding, anticipating a potential fight between Ross and Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And condoms are the way to do that? Ross Geller : Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily... Rachel Green : Oh my God! My dog died! Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Le Poo, our dog! Ross Geller : Le Poo's still alive?! Rachel Green : Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine--teen blocks. Oh. Oh my God. Monica Geller : Sweetie, we heard you crying. Please don't cry. Rachel Green : It's Le Poo. Phoebe Buffay : I know it's le poo right now, but it'll get better.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel mourn the death of their dog, Le Poo, who was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for 10 blocks."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I can't believe it! We're here! Monica Geller : Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that! Chandler Bing : Oh, you should live with Joey, Roll-os everywhere. Monica Geller : Come here. Okay, be right back. Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Monica, get in here! There's a high-speed car chase on! Monica Geller : We're switching rooms. Chandler Bing : Oh dear God, they gave us glasses! Monica Geller : No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we? Chandler Bing : Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's feed! Ross Geller : Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are at a bed and breakfast for their anniversary weekend. They find chocolates on their pillows and Monica switches rooms with Chandler after discovering lipstick on her glasses. Meanwhile, Ross wants to talk to them about something but doesn't get the chance as they are too busy with their new rooms."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Ross Geller : Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing... Okay, here goes. I made a promise that--Oh hey! Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : You're nose is bleeding! Rachel Green : Oh God. No! Oh not again! This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me? Ross Geller : Umm... Rachel Green : Sorry. Sorry. Ross Geller : Okay, I uh, I can't see you anymore. Rachel Green : Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous! I can't see you either. Hotel Clerk : I think you'll find this room more to your liking.", "summary": "Ross tries to confess something important to Rachel but is interrupted when she starts bleeding from her nose due to a past trauma. They both apologize and agree not to see each other anymore."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, great. Hotel Clerk : They say he's only got half a tank left. Chandler Bing : Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do! Monica Geller : We're switching rooms again. Chandler Bing : What? Why? Monica Geller : This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room. Hotel Clerk : Our last ocean view room was unacceptable to you. Monica Geller : Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a second? Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Chandler!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are on a road trip and their hotel room has only half a tank of gas left. They need to continue their high-speed chase, but Monica has switched them to a garden view room instead of the ocean view room they paid for."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers! Chandler Bing : I hear ya, Mugsy! But look, all these rooms are fine okay? Can you just pick one so I can watch--have a perfect, magical weekend together with you. Monica Geller : Okay, this one I like! Chandler Bing : Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming! Monica Geller : Can we turn the TV off? Okay? Do we really want to spend the entire weekend like this? Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room switching fun? Monica Geller : Hey, don't blame me for wigging tonight! Chandler Bing : Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms? Monica Geller : I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are at a hotel trying to decide which room they want to stay in. Monica gets frustrated with all the switching and Chandler gets defensive."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Do not speak ill of the dead. Monica Geller : We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it, what is the matter with you? Chandler Bing : I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom. Monica Geller : What did you say? Chandler Bing : I said, \"Geez, relax Monnnnn.\" Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out. Rachel Green : Okay, what's up? Ross Geller : Okay, y'know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my marriage? Rachel Green : Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are spending a romantic weekend together, but Chandler just wants to watch TV. Monica is upset and accuses him of not wanting to spend time with her. Rachel enters and tells Ross that she's been wanting to tell him something for a while now, and she reveals that she thinks he should do whatever it takes to fix his marriage with Emily."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : And while that was good advice, you should know that what-what she wants... Rachel Green : Yeah? Ross Geller : ...is for me not to see you anymore. Rachel Green : That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you? Ross Geller : It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here. Rachel Green : Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died! Ross Geller : You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you. Ross Geller : What are you doing? Rachel Green : Storming out!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their feelings towards each other after Ross decides to stop seeing Rachel in order to save his marriage."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Rachel, this is your apartment. Rachel Green : Yeah, well that's how mad I am!! Chandler Bing : Damn Rollos! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're back! Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : How was your conference? Chandler Bing : It was terrible. I fought with my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, so your weekend was a total bust? Chandler Bing : Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator. Monica Geller : Hi!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over the apartment; Chandler struggles with his colleagues at a conference; Joey returns from a bad weekend; Monica greets them with a warm welcome."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're back too! Monica Geller : Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how was your chef thing? Monica Geller : Oh, it was awful. I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food. Chandler Bing : Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Monica. Monica Geller : Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half. Chandler Bing : Okay, fine, $300. Monica Geller : 300 dollars?!", "summary": "Monica and Joey are talking when Chandler joins them and they discuss a previous event where Monica served food that was not well received."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, just think of it as $25 per room! Monica Geller : Urghh!! Joey Tribbiani : What are you guys woofing about? Monica Geller : Chandler stole a twenty from my purse! Joey Tribbiani : Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots! Ross Geller : You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do. Joey Tribbiani : You want my advice? Ross Geller : Yes! Please! Joey Tribbiani : You're not gonna like it. Ross Geller : That's okay.", "summary": "Ross stole a $20 bill from Monica's purse, causing her to become upset. The group discusses the situation, with Joey and Chandler offering their advice."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You got married to fast. Ross Geller : That's not advice! Joey Tribbiani : I told ya. Ross Geller : I'm going to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, me either. Monica Geller : Maybe I could do it. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hi, Rach. Chandler Bing : Hi!", "summary": "Joey and Ross argue over marriage advice, while Chandler and Monica express reluctance to give up their friends. Rachel joins the conversation, and the group discusses the possibility of giving up their friends for something else."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but y'know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just love not to talk about it. All right? Joey Tribbiani : I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there. Rachel Green : That's not Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though. Chandler Bing : Okay, Ross is in the bathroom. Rachel Green : Oh my God, its happening. It's already started. I'm Kip. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're not Kip! Rachel Green : Do you even know who Kip is?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses Ross and a potential lookalike, with Phoebe and Rachel trying to avoid talking about their issues. Joey mistakes someone for Ross, leading to confusion and humor."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Who cares? You're Rachel! Who's Kip? Chandler Bing : Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that poor bastard. Rachel Green : See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out! Monica Geller : You're not gonna be phased out! Rachel Green : Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go. Phoebe Buffay : Ehh!! Rachel Green : Honey, come on! You live far away! You're not related. You lift right out. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.", "summary": "Monica and Kip dated after she and Chandler broke up, but they couldn't be in the same room together. Chandler promised to stay friends with Kip, but he got phased out of the group. Monica and Rachel tried to prevent this from happening to Ross, who is their brother and old college roommate. Phoebe was expected to leave the group first, but Rachel believed it would be her instead. Chandler received a call from the hotel, informing him that someone left an eyelash curler in his room."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes that was mine. Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause I figured you'd hooked up with some girl and she'd left it there. Chandler Bing : Yes that would have made more sense. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man! All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya. Were you, or were you not on a gay cruise?! Rachel Green : Phoebe? I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. You gotta come with me! Phoebe Buffay : Come where? Rachel Green : Wherever I go. Come on you and me, we'll-we'll start a new group, we're the best ones. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but try and get Joey too. Ross Geller : Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, sure! Bye Ross! Forever.", "summary": "Chandler admits he lost his jacket on a gay cruise, which Joey does not believe. Phoebe invites Rachel to join her on a new adventure, but Rachel declines and Ross wants to talk to her alone."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules? Ross Geller : I talked to Monica, look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change, so I should be the one to y'know, step back. Rachel Green : Oh, Ross... Ross Geller : No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better? Rachel Green : No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you. Ross Geller : Well, what-what would you do? Rach, if you were me, what-what would you do? Rachel Green : Well, for starters I would've said the right name at my wedding! Ross Geller : I can't believe this is happening. Rachel Green : I know.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about him moving on with his life after their breakup, with Ross trying to justify his decision by saying he's changing for the better and Rachel feeling left out of his new life."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I am so sorry. Rachel Green : I know that too. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : I just came over to drop off...nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh? Monica Geller : Yeah, it did. Chandler Bing : So, I guess this is over. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Well, y'know, you and me, it had to end sometime.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are sorry about something, Joey interrupts with a message from Phoebe, Chandler comes over with nothing, and Monica suggests that their relationship has ended."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why, exactly? Chandler Bing : Because of the weekend, we had a fight. Monica Geller : Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer than-Ohhh! Chandler Bing : So, this isn't over? Monica Geller : You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about. Chandler Bing : Really? Okay. Great! Monica Geller : Ohh, welcome to an adult relationship! Chandler Bing : We're in a relationship? Monica Geller : I'm afraid so. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a fight over the weekend, but Monica tells him to deal with it and move on, as it's not something to freak out about. Chandler is surprised to learn that they are in a relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention. Monica Geller : Yeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine. Rachel Green : Yeah, it's in there. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Ohh! Oh!! Chandler Bing : Joey, can I talk to you for a second? Joey Tribbiani : Oohh!! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!! Joey Tribbiani : Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!", "summary": "Monica saw Donald Trump at a convention and lent Rachel her eyelash curler."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes. Joey Tribbiani : You?! And-and you?! Monica Geller : Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows! Joey Tribbiani : How?! When?! Chandler Bing : It happened in London. Joey Tribbiani : IN LONDON!!! Chandler Bing : The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Joey Tribbiani : But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no! You can't! Monica Geller : Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.", "summary": "In London, Chandler and Monica had a secret affair that they didn't want anyone to know about. Joey found out and tried to persuade them to tell him more about it, but they refused, citing a desire to keep it private."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right! Man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's great, but... Monica Geller : I know, it's great! Joey Tribbiani : Aww, I don't want to see that! Phoebe Buffay : We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey! Phoebe Buffay : The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, \"Hi, Phoebe!\" Monica Geller : Oh that's cute! We really all enjoyed it. But y'know, it doesn't count. Phoebe Buffay : Count for what? Monica Geller : Count in our heads as-as good Madlibs. Joey Tribbiani : I guess I'm done. Chandler Bing : Fun's over!", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe are at a tennis tournament where they are trying to take Joey away from the other Phoebe. Monica and Chandler are playing Mad Libs in their heads while watching the match."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wait-wait, guys! If-if we follow the rules, it's still fun and it means something! Rachel Green : Uh-huh! Joey Tribbiani : I think I'm gonna take-off. Monica Geller : Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! Ohhh! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof! Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Look, just because I know about you two, doesn't mean I like looking at it. Chandler Bing : Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel try to convince Joey to follow the rules, but he wants to take advantage of his time under Monica's roof. Chandler returns from an audition and joins in on the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Sorry. Chandler Bing : Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : I can hear that! Monica Geller : Rachel's at work. Joey Tribbiani : I can still hear you! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hello! Monica Geller : Hey, what's that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.", "summary": "Rachel is at work when Monica reveals that she has inherited a family heirloom from her grandmother. Joey and Chandler try to hear what Monica is saying, but Phoebe interrupts with her own news about inheriting items from her mother."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Eeeee--ohh!! God! Joey Tribbiani : Argh-argh!! Ooh, soft. Is this mink? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make! Chandler Bing : Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. That didn't happen, I made that up! Ross Geller : Hey! Gunther : Oh, Ross? Ross! You can't put up flyers in here. Ross Geller : How come? Everybody else does. Gunther : You can't. Monica Geller : What is that? Ross Geller : Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things.", "summary": "Phoebe receives a fur coat from her mother, which she is unhappy about because it was made with animal products and goes against her values. Joey thinks it might be mink, but Phoebe is unsure. Chandler makes up a story about 9-year-old Filipino kids working for 12 cents an hour to make the coat, which is not true. Ross tries to put up flyers in Central Perk, but Gunther tells him he can't. Monica finds something interesting in her bag."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : This is all of your things. Ross Geller : Yes, yes it is! No, but it's good it's-Emily thinks we should get all new stuff. Stuff that's just ours, together. Y'know brand new. Monica Geller : So basically, this is a getting-rid-of-everything-Rachel-ever-used sale. Ross Geller : Touched. Used. Sat on. Sleep on. Gunther : I'll take it all. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Ross, you're okay with that? Ross Geller : Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine. Chandler Bing : Okay, but don't you think this is a little extreme? Ross Geller : After what I did? Can you blame her? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are getting rid of all Rachel's old belongings, which leads to a heated debate between Ross and Emily about their future together. Meanwhile, Gunther offers to take everything, Joey is supportive of Ross, Chandler questions the severity of the situation, and Phoebe shares a funny story about her friend Silvie's reaction to a similar situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What is he doing? What, Emily, thinks Ross's furniture has got Rachel coodies? Monica Geller : Now calm down Joey. Joey Tribbiani : No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I hate this. Everything's changing. Chandler Bing : Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence... Monica Geller : Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that? Joey Tribbiani : No! But y'know, I'm an actor, I'll act cool. Rachel Green : Ohh, whoa God! Storage rooms give me the creeps! Monica, come on please hurry up honey! Please? Monica Geller : Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron. Rachel Green : I want the little round waffles.", "summary": "Ross's furniture is causing tension in his relationship with Rachel, and Emily is not letting him see her. Joey is upset about the situation and Monica tries to keep their feelings hidden. Meanwhile, Rachel wants waffles but needs the waffle iron first."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right. Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison? Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? I'll-I'll have toast! Rachel Green : Arghhhh!!!!!! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Fog him! Fog him! Phoebe Buffay : I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat. Joey Tribbiani : I'll take it! Phoebe Buffay : That might work! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! Enh? All right, what do you think? Chandler Bing : You're on in 5 Ms. Minnelli. Ross Geller : No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye.", "summary": "Monica finds a can of bug bomb underneath something, and Rachel wants toast. Monica says there might be a problem with that, and Phoebe suggests fogging it. Joey takes the coat, but Chandler thinks it's sudden, and Ross agrees but then changes his mind."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter Ross? Ross Geller : Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Ross Geller : Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other. Joey Tribbiani : That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! Which is great! I love to ride that rail! Chandler Bing : So you're really okay with this? Ross Geller : Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time! Chandler Bing : Now that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space. We should get them together and make a continuum. Joey Tribbiani : Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? Ow!! He's not even here!!! Rachel Green : You guys! You guys!", "summary": "Ross moves to a new apartment after getting off the phone with Emily."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man! Rachel Green : It was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something! Monica Geller : And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him! Rachel Green : Yeah, I-I-I just pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, like dark hair, bushy beard? Rachel Green : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you fogged Danny. Rachel Green : Please! We did not fog Danny! Who's Danny? Joey Tribbiani : Dan just moved in downstairs. Yeah, he just got back from like this four-month trek in the Andes. Nice fella. Monica Geller : Oh he's nice. He's nice! Y'know, you always stick up for the people we fog!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel encounter a creepy man in the storage area who comes at them with an axe, so Rachel uses a bug bomb on him. Joey mistakes the person for someone else and jokes about fogging them."}
-{"dialogues": "Danny : Yeah? Rachel Green : Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you. Monica Geller : We're-we're really sorry we fogged you. Danny : Okay. Rachel Green : Hi! Just so you know, we-we didn't mean to fog you, we thought you were like a yeti or something. Danny : Okay. Danny : Yesss? Rachel Green : Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it. Monica Geller : Yeah. Danny : O-kay!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a group of people who fogged (confused) someone and are trying to apologize. However, the person they fogged doesn't accept their apology, feeling that it isn't sincere."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wow! That guy is so rude! Rachel Green : Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you. Monica Geller : Well you did a little bit. Rachel Green : Oh my God, honey, I'm so sorry! Monica Geller : I totally forgive you! Rachel Green : Really? Monica Geller : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : So listen, you know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss a rude guy they encountered, with Monica forgiving Rachel for accidentally fogging her. Phoebe joins the conversation and mentions her friend Chris who owns a crematorium."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Crematorium Chris? Sure! Phoebe Buffay : He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God, look at these pelts! Monica Geller : Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated. Rachel Green : What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion! Phoebe Buffay : This is fashion?! Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? 'Cause I do. Ross Geller : I know I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Bye. Chandler Bing : Okay, what is in here? Rocks? Ross Geller : No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples. Chandler Bing : So, rocks.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are at a crematorium with Phoebe, who is having her fur coat cremated for free if she brings in the next person who dies. Ross misses Monica and can't wait to see her again. Chandler finds rocks in the crematorium."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm really gonna miss this apartment. Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps right over there. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing and it kinda knocked me out a little? Ross Geller : I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this? Ross Geller : Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice... Joey Tribbiani : You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?! Ross Geller : Why? Joey Tribbiani : It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally--Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy. Ross Geller : What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : We all hate Emily!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends are discussing Ross's upcoming move and are unhappy with Emily's demands that he leave his apartment. They express their displeasure and Joey mentions that they all agreed to keep quiet as long as Ross was happy, but now he has revealed that he is not entirely satisfied with the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Nooo!! Monica Geller : No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Look, we just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes! Unreasonable! Ross Geller : Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! Phoebe Buffay : I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much. Monica Geller : God, I feel so guilty about Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know. Joey Tribbiani : I kinda feel like it's my fault.", "summary": "Ross and his friends argue about the sacrifices he makes for Emily, while Monica feels guilty about her own relationship with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Kind of? If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! Chandler Bing : Well, I think it's very brave what you said. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. Chandler Bing : Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal rights thing? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, I-it's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine! Rachel Green : Hi! Danny : So you like the short hair better. Rachel Green : What? Yeti-I mean Danny? Danny : I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell.", "summary": "Joey reveals a secret about Chandler, leading to a debate about keeping secrets. Phoebe admits to loving a controversial coat, while Rachel and Danny discuss their haircuts."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh. Listen, I'm so sorry. I would, I would've never fogged you if y'know if you hadn't looked so.... Y'know. Danny : Absolutely. Some people are just into appearances. Rachel Green : What? Danny : That's cool. Cool. Rachel Green : What? Hey! No-no-no! This not cool! You don't even know me! Danny : Come on, you got the shopping bags and the Sack's catalog. Rachel Green : So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here! Danny : Do you? Rachel Green : Well, y'know, if-if kids like to play with Capri pants. Danny : Okay.", "summary": "Rachel Green and Danny have a conversation about people who are only interested in appearances. Rachel becomes defensive when Danny makes assumptions about her based on her shopping bags and catalogs. She reveals that she could be hiding toys for underprivileged kids in her bag, which Danny finds amusing."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And stop saying that! I hate that! Danny : Okay! Rachel Green : Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you? Danny : The pizza-place across the street any good? Rachel Green : What?! Danny : I'm hungry. Wanna get some pizza? You can keep yelling if there's more. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Danny : Stop saying that. I hate that. Chandler Bing : Uh, Ross? Phoebe Buffay : Are you still mad at us?", "summary": "Rachel and Danny argue about making snap judgments and being open-minded. They then discuss pizza and Chandler and Phoebe join in, with Chandler teasing Ross about something."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yep. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Because we have an \"I'm sorry\" song. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I'm really not in the mood. Joey Tribbiani : Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we are so sorry. Phoebe Buffay : You're kinda stepping on the song. Joey Tribbiani : Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you. Monica Geller : Whatever you decide, whatever you do. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song! Ross Geller : Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.", "summary": "Ross goes through a difficult time and his friends try to make amends for their past mistakes."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Exactly! And that's why... Monica Geller : Why don't you come over tonight? And I'll make you favorite dinner. Ross Geller : Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today. Ross Geller : You do, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone... Ross Geller : What are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : I'm not sure. Rachel Green : Hi!", "summary": "Ross and Monica invite Phoebe over for dinner, but Ross is distracted by her fur coat. Joey explains that he understands why he lost it today as an actor, having to keep his emotions at the surface and juggle many responsibilities. Rachel joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, look at you! Where have you been? Rachel Green : Oh, I went to have pizza. With Danny. Monica Geller : How did that happen? Rachel Green : That yeti is one smooth talker. Monica Geller : I hope you're not full, 'cause dinner's almost ready. Rachel Green : Yeah, y'know I-I think I'm just gonna hang out in my room. #ALL# : No! Why? Rachel Green : Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really... I don't mind. Ross Geller : Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh... It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed. Rachel Green : Ross, I...", "summary": "Rachel went to have pizza with Danny and Monica found out. Monica invited Rachel to dinner but Rachel declined to avoid conflict with Emily. Ross asked Rachel to stay and she agreed."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : RACHEL PLEASE!!! JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US!!! Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You see Rach I'm an actor... Ross Geller : Hey! Hey, look! Ugly Naked Guy's back! Rachel Green : I haven't seen him in so long! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, I really missed that fat bastard! Monica Geller : Wow, this is so weird. I just realized this might be the last time we'll all be hanging out together. Joey Tribbiani : It's almost as if he knew. Monica Geller : I'll get it. Hello. Hi Emily! Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. Ross Geller : Hey! Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. She wants to say hi. Hold on.", "summary": "Joey invites Rachel to dinner with the group, but she hesitates and Joey becomes anxious. Meanwhile, Ross notices Ugly Naked Guy returning and Phoebe misses him. Monica realizes that this may be the last time they will all hang out together and tries to contact Emily."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi Emily! Chandler Bing : Hi! Emily Waltham : Hello everyone. So who am I saying hello too? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!! Emily Waltham : Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now. Ross Geller : Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here! Emily Waltham : She's there?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, there-there she is! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, she's here. Emily Waltham : Ross, take me off speakerphone.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at a party together, despite past issues. Phoebe and Joey also attend, while Chandler and Emily join later. Confusion arises when Emily can't see Rachel on the speakerphone."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi. Emily Waltham : How can you do this too me?! I thought I'd made my feelings about Rachel perfectly clear! Ross Geller : Look Emily, I'm just having dinner with my friends, okay? Emily Waltham : You obviously can't keep away from her. Ross Geller : Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with. Emily Waltham : I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the time. Ross Geller : Well, you can't know where I am all the time. Look, this marriage is never gonna work if you don't trust me. Emily Waltham : You're right. Ross Geller : So, can you trust me? Emily Waltham : No.", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Emily to move to New York with him, but she refuses, citing lack of trust."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling. Monica Geller : How can you tell? You can only see the back of his head! Joey Tribbiani : You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. Smile! Ross Geller : Well, I guess that's it. #ALL# : Why, what happened? Joey Tribbiani : What happened? What happened? Ross Geller : My marriage is over. #ALL# : What?! Monica Geller : Oh, sweetie. Oh, look at you. You're shivering. Phoebe Buffay : Here.", "summary": "Ross's marriage ends."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, honey, is there anything we can do? Ross Geller : Yeah. You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! All right, fine, now I get it. Here. You take it. Are you happy now? I'm cold! Chandler Bing : Are you looking at naked tribe's women? Joey Tribbiani : No, look. Chandler Bing : That's a pig. Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know, but look at the knobs on her. Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Emily's cousin kicked me out! Chandler Bing : What?!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel try to help Ross retrieve his furniture from Gunther, who is keeping it. Phoebe and Joey argue about the mink coats. Chandler looks at naked tribal women, but Joey corrects him that they are actually pigs. Meanwhile, Emily's cousin kicks Ross out."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Why? Ross Geller : Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back. Chandler Bing : How can he do that? Didn't you sign a lease? Ross Geller : Who needs a lease when it's family! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you can stay with us! We'll take care of ya! Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : You got it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.", "summary": "Ross sublets an apartment from his wife's cousin but when they get divorced, the cousin wants the apartment back. Ross and Joey try to find a new place for him to stay."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : He thought you said gonad. Health Inspector : Wow, Monica, if every restaurant is as clean as yours, I'd have a tough time making a living. Monica Geller : Oh, Larry. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, do health inspectors work on commission? Larry : No, bribes. Phoebe Buffay : It's okay to laugh right? Larry : Yeah, I was just kidding. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Larry : I'll check the kitchen floors.", "summary": "Ross mishears Chandler say \"gonad\" and a health inspector compliments Monica on her clean restaurant while Phoebe asks about health inspector's pay and Larry jokes about bribes before checking the kitchen floors."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, knock yourself out, Larry. Phoebe Buffay : Yum-my! Monica Geller : Larry? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! I'd let him check out my kitchen floors. Larry : A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation. Monica Geller : Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen. Larry : And where is your hat? Monica Geller : It's in the kitchen, I'll go get it. Larry : Ahh that's the 2 points. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!", "summary": "Monica writes a book on kitchen safety, Larry is a health inspector who deducts points for non-compliance, Phoebe offers her kitchen floors for inspection, and Larry correctly deduces that Monica is not wearing her chef's hat in the kitchen."}
-{"dialogues": "Larry : Oh, I don't know about that. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but then I can be you sidekick Vunda. Larry : Maybe uh, Vunda could give me her number and I can ask her to dinner sometime. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat. Larry : I-I'll call ya. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : He's so funny! Monica Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Thank you. Mon? Monica Geller : Hmm?", "summary": "Larry is hesitant to ask Phoebe Buffay to be his sidekick, but she agrees and gives him her number. Larry plans to ask her out for dinner, and Phoebe is excited about the prospect of being his sidekick."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : How's Ross doing? Y'know since all the Emily stuff. Monica Geller : He's not great umm, but he's dealing with it. Oh wait a minute, you're not gonna try... Rachel Green : Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced. Monica Geller : Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married. Danny : Two pounds of Moca Java please. Monica Geller : Danny. Are you guys ever gonna go out again? Rachel Green : I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing. Danny : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi Danny! Wow! Thirsty huh? Danny : Uh, actually, actually, I'm having a party at my place on Saturday, it's sort of a house warming kind of thing.", "summary": "Ross is going through a difficult time after his recent breakup with Emily. His friends Monica and Rachel are trying to support him but are finding it challenging due to their own past experiences. Meanwhile, Danny is planning a party at his new place, which could potentially lead to a reunion between Rachel and Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ohh, fun! Rachel Green : Ohh, great! Danny : Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. Rachel Green : Yeah. Danny : Okay, see ya. Monica Geller : Well, I guess we won't be warming his house. Rachel Green : Okay. All right, I see what he's doing! He's not asking me out, because he wants me to ask him out. Monica Geller : And you're not gonna do that. Rachel Green : That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it? Monica Geller : So-so there is no party.", "summary": "Rachel and Danny are planning a party, but Rachel suspects that he is trying to get her to ask him out by pretending to be busy with the party preparations. Monica agrees with Rachel's assessment and reveals that there is no party planned."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me? Monica Geller : I think so. Se, he-he's not inviting you to his party because he likes you. Rachel Green : Exactly. Joey Tribbiani : Ross? Ross Geller : Hey roomies! Chandler Bing : Love what you've done with the place. Ross Geller : Oh, yeah I know, I know, it's a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here. Joey Tribbiani : Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don't-I was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Ross Geller : Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. We will, we will, call you back!", "summary": "Ross is invited to a party but doesn't know if he'll be able to attend due to his ongoing living situation with his friends. Monica thinks Ross isn't inviting him because he likes Rachel, while Joey suggests putting Ross's name on the answering machine."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, all right! Ross Geller : Pretty cool, huh? Joey Tribbiani : You're fake laughing too, right? Chandler Bing : Oh, the tears are real. Larry : You look beautiful this evening. Phoebe Buffay : Show me the badge again. Phoebe Buffay : Shiny. Larry : Oh, will you mind if I wash up? Because I came straight from work and who knows where these babies have been. Phoebe Buffay : You are just nonstop! Larry : We're outta here!", "summary": "Ross pretends to be impressed by Joey's story, Chandler makes fun of him, Larry compliments Joey, and Phoebe asks to see Larry's badge again."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Why?! Larry : Just walking past the kitchen I saw 10 violations! I'm shutting this place down! Phoebe Buffay : You have the power to do that? Larry : This does. Phoebe Buffay : Shut it down. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing. Chandler Bing : You built a fort didn't ya? Joey Tribbiani : Kinda.", "summary": "Larry discovers 10 health code violations in a restaurant where Phoebe works, and he threatens to shut it down. Phoebe tries to convince him not to, but he insists. Joey and Chandler enter the conversation, with Joey building a fort and Chandler asking him what he's doing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh my God, the air purifier! Ross's air purifier! All I heard through 4 years of college was Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you should've gone out once and a while. Chandler Bing : I hate this thing! Joey Tribbiani : Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort! Rachel Green : Oh, hi Danny. Danny : Hey guys, I just uh, wanted to invite you to the party tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Oh, thanks! We'll try to stop by. Rachel Green : Uh, actually, I think I'm gonna be busy. Monica Geller : You are? Rachel Green : Yeah! Remember I got that uh, gala.", "summary": "Ross has an air purifier and Chandler hates it. Joey suggests they go out once in a while. Rachel is invited to a party and Monica will try to stop by, but Rachel has a prior commitment to a gala."}
-{"dialogues": "Danny : Yeah, what's the gala for? Rachel Green : It's a uh, regatta gala. Danny : Really! You-you sail? Rachel Green : No-no, but I support it. Danny : Okay, hope I see you tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Okay. Danny : Take care. Rachel Green : Okay. Walked right into that one didn't he? Monica Geller : What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it! Rachel Green : Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, \"No!\" Which puts me right back in the driver seat.", "summary": "Danny invites Rachel to a gala, but she declines, wanting to maintain control over her schedule. Monica supports Rachel's decision and jokes about Danny being disappointed."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Great. So the ball is in his court? Rachel Green : Ball? There is no ball. Ross Geller : Joey, please! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhhhhhhhhh... Chandler Bing : Hello children! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Wanna play some foosball? Please? Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, no! We have to move the table into my room, yeah! 'Cause of all the boxes. Come on! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this?", "summary": "Monica Geller and Rachel Green discuss a situation where Ross Geller is involved, but there is no further context provided in the conversation. Joey Tribbiani enters the conversation and suggests playing foosball, but Chandler Bing declines. Joey then asks a question about something unspecified."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand? Joey Tribbiani : No, the quiet down thing! Chandler Bing : You mean this. Joey Tribbiani : Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn? Chandler Bing : All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I guess I can hold out a little longer. Let's have a game. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no! Joey Tribbiani : YES!! Ross Geller : Uh fellas,", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over a taped TV show, with Joey accusing Chandler of taping over his Baywatch tape with a program about bugs. They later play a game to endure Ross's antics."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, so he's out of here. Joey Tribbiani : Um-hmm. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I took Larry there to eat but it was all violated. So we shut it down! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, if this guy keeps closing down all of our favorite places, where are we gonna eat?! Monica Geller : I don't know, clean places? Joey Tribbiani : Umm, yum! Monica Geller : It's Danny.", "summary": "Chandler leaves, and Joey, Monica, and Phoebe talk about food. They mention that Johnos, a chicken place, was closed, and Phoebe explains that she took Larry there but it was \"all violated.\" They worry that if more of their favorite places close down, where they will eat. Monica suggests clean places, to which Joey agrees, but Monica corrects him, saying it's Danny."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala. Monica Geller : We'll be right there! Can't you just say it starts later? Rachel Green : What? What kind of a regatta gala starts at night?! Monica Geller : The fake kind! Danny : Hey, hi, I need a ladle. You got a ladle? Monica Geller : We have a ladle. Danny : Thanks, see you at the party. Monica Geller : Okay, great! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, \"See you ladle.\" Chandler Bing : Well, I-I-I'm done with this. You want anything Ross? Sports? International? Apartment listings?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are trying to get to a regatta gala, but Rachel is being stopped by an uninvited guest (Danny). Meanwhile, Phoebe makes a joke about Larry and Ross offers to provide various forms of entertainment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'll take sports. Joey Tribbiani : Mine! Ross Geller : All right. Uhh, international. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's mine too! I'm Italian! Ross Geller : Well, I guess I can check out those apartment listings, even though there's never anything in here. Chandler Bing : Not even on page 7? Ross Geller : Oh yeah! You're-hey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks! Chandler Bing : What about that circled one? Ross Geller : Oh, I-I don't know, it's kind of expensive for a studio. Joey Tribbiani : But it's available now! Isn't it?", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue over an apartment listing while Chandler tries to find an affordable place."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes, it is. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, let's go look at it! Ross Geller : Okay, let's go. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Chandler Bing : There we go! Ross Geller : Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it. Chandler Bing : Let's go quicker. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well look at this kitchen, slash bathroom. Well that's great! Y'know so you can cook while in the tub.", "summary": "The friends discover a new apartment and decide to check it out. Ross wants to buy air filters for the purifier, but Chandler and Joey are more interested in exploring the kitchen/bathroom combination."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Somebody was using his head. Hey, let's check out the rest of the place. Ross Geller : I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking. Joey Tribbiani : But hey, Ross, this place is available now! Chandler Bing : Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with us for the next five weeks. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : So, you-you think I should go ahead and take this place? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's perfect! Ross Geller : How about you? Chandler Bing : It's a kitchen slash bathroom. Ross Geller : All right, I see what you guys are saying. I'll uh, I'll go downstairs and fill out an application.", "summary": "Ross considers renting an apartment he found while Joey and Chandler are hesitant."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : We are bad people. Joey Tribbiani : He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen? Larry : Hey, ready for dinner? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, absolutely! Larry : Great! How about you wanted to go the Italian place down on Bleaker Street right? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I love that place! So, no. Larry : How about Mama Lisettie's? Phoebe Buffay : Enh. Sure! Larry : I wonder how long that milk has been setting out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! That-this milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. Okay, let's go!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey try to get rid of Larry, who is unaware of their plans. Phoebe wants a bathtub in her kitchen, but Larry suggests different restaurants for dinner. They eventually decide on Mama Lisettie's, but Larry expresses concern about the milk they are serving."}
-{"dialogues": "Larry : Hey, buddy! Are you familiar with Section 11-B of the Health Code that requires all refuse material out the back exit? Gunther : But then I'd have to go all the way around the dry cleaner place. Larry : Oh, so you're saying you'd choose convenience over health?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, stop! Larry, okay, can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy? Y'know I mean it was really exciting at first but now it's like, okay, so where are we gonna eat ever? Larry : Well, I suppose I could give him a warning. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Okay, go! Go! Go! Now, if after dinner you still really need to bust someone, I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet! Chandler Bing : Yes that was a nice place! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!", "summary": "Larry is a health inspector who enforces Section 11-B of the Health Code that requires all refuse material to be disposed of through the back exit. Gunther objects to this rule, saying it would require him to go around the dry cleaner place. Phoebe and Joey try to reason with Larry, while Chandler makes a joke about closet space."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : What are we gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Maybe pizza? Chandler Bing : About Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Hello! Oh yeah! It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable. Chandler Bing : Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. Well, who doesn't love dogs? Ah, he's a tap dancer! Yes, some would say that is a lost art. He's a pimp! There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! Hello? Chandler Bing : Ohhhhh! Rachel Green : Shoot, shoot, this is never gonna work! He's right there! Monica Geller : Just go over and say hi.", "summary": "Pizza is discussed, followed by a reference to Ross, who is described as reliable but also has a big dog that barks at night. Chandler refers to Ross as a \"tap dancing pimp\" before Rachel interrupts to say that the situation is not going to work."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, I have to go downstairs and come back up as if I'm coming home from the regatta gala. Okay? So just go distract him. But don't be sexy. Monica Geller : Hey, Danny! Danny : Hey! What's going on? Monica Geller : Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. So umm, what's this? Danny : Salad. Monica Geller : Ooooh! And-and-and what-what's this? Danny : Bread. Aren't you a chef? Monica Geller : Oh. Danny : Hey! Rachel! Rachel Green : Hey! Oh right, tonight was your party.", "summary": "Rachel goes downstairs and comes back up as if she's coming home from a regatta gala in order to distract Danny while Monica tries to impress him with the food at the party."}
-{"dialogues": "Danny : Oh wow, you look great! Glad you could make it. Rachel Green : Oh well, y'know, the gala had to end sometime. Danny : Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back. Rachel Green : Yeah, sure. All right, whose court is the ball in now? Monica Geller : I thought there wasn't a ball? Rachel Green : Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place! Danny : Rachel, this is my friend Tom. This is the girl I told you about. Rachel Green : Oh, go on! You telling people about me? Danny : You two could really hit it off! I'm gonna go mingle. Tom : So you work at Bloomingdale's, huh? My mom calls it Bloomies.", "summary": "Danny compliments Rachel on her appearance and invites her to stay, but she assumes he wants her to leave. Monica questions whether there is actually a ball in play, while Rachel jokes about Danny being glad she came. Danny introduces Rachel to his friend Tom, who works at Bloomingdale's and calls it \"Bloomies.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, okay, at ease solider! Tom : I'm sorry? Rachel Green : No, it's all right, you can just drop the act Tommy. I know what's going on here. Your Danny's wingman right? You guys are best buds. Frat bros! Tom : I'm gonna go talk to uh, a friend. Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah, you go talk to your friend. You tell him, \"Nice try.\" Rachel Green : Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park! Monica Geller : I think I need a drink. Rachel Green : Yeah! Chandler Bing : 98. 99. 100. Okay, go! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine!", "summary": "Rachel and Tom are discussing something about a \"wingman\" and a friend, with Rachel making fun of Tom's attempts to impress her. Monica suggests needing a drink, while Chandler and Joey chime in with their own thoughts on the matter."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Here we go! Here we go! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey. So I uh, I didn't get that apartment. Some problem with my application. Joey Tribbiani : You're kidding! Chandler Bing : You're kidding, no! Ross Geller : Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So... Joey Tribbiani : But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies! Ross Geller : Look, you guys don't need me here taking up your space. Joey Tribbiani : Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there by-by that speaker. Please, just stay!", "summary": "Ross can't get an apartment and Phoebe offers him a place to stay, but Joey objects because he wants Ross to stay with him and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah! Ross Geller : Are you guys sure about this? Joey Tribbiani : Definitely! Chandler Bing : Yes! Ross, you have to stay! Ross Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Chandler Bing : All right, buddy! Ross Geller : So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just . Chandler Bing : Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much? Ross Geller : Come on, it's fun!", "summary": "Ross and Joey convince Chandler to stay at a party, despite his initial reservations. Ross promises to be more considerate of others' feelings and wear a cowboy hat, which Chandler finds excessive."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right! Isn't this a woman's hat? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea! Rachel Green : Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us. Ross Geller : I couldn't possibly eat another bite. Joey Tribbiani : I need something sweet. Phoebe Buffay : Does anyone wanna watch TV? #ALL# : Yeah, sure. Phoebe Buffay : Monica your remote doesn't work. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you have to lift it and point. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Aw, forget it.", "summary": "Monica hosts a Thanksgiving dinner where everyone enjoys a delicious meal, but Ross cannot eat another bite. Joey requests something sweet, while Chandler makes tea. Meanwhile, Phoebe tries to use the remote control, but it doesn't work for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having. Monica Geller : That's very nice. Chandler Bing : That's sweet, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there? Chandler Bing : Are you aware that you're still talking? Monica Geller : Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong? Ross Geller : Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.", "summary": "The group plays a game where everyone shares something they are thankful for, but Joey becomes fixated on thongs and talks about them excessively, much to Chandler's annoyance. Meanwhile, Ross struggles to decide between being thankful for his divorce or his eviction, while Phoebe is impressed by Joey's obsession."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worse Thanksgiving ever. Chandler Bing : No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me. Rachel Green : Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you? Ross Geller : Oh God, no. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out! Chandler Bing : It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family. Nora Tyler Bing : Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me. The Housekeeper : More turkey Mr. Chandler? Ross Geller : You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings. Phoebe Buffay : I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.", "summary": "Ross has a terrible Thanksgiving due to his parents' divorce, while Chandler insists he's the king of bad Thanksgivings due to his own family issues. Rachel shares her own marital problems, Joey wants to hear the story, and Nora defends her husband's actions, leading to a series of awkward moments during the holiday celebration."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really? Worse than, \"More turkey Mr. Chandler?\" Phoebe Buffay : Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse! Phoebe Buffay : More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying- Oh no. Ross Geller : In this life, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this life! Oh okay no, Chandler's is worse. Joey Tribbiani : Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories. Phoebe Buffay : Of course you don't sweetie. You're brand new. Rachel Green : I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving. Monica Geller : Oh, let's not tell this story. #ALL# : Oh, come on!", "summary": "Phoebe remembers a past life where she was a maid and her employer was dying. She begs for more bandages to save him. Chandler has a worse problem with his butler. Joey wishes he could remember past lives like Phoebe. Monica doesn't want to tell the story of her worst Thanksgiving."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head! Rachel Green : What?! Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's not like it sounds. Chandler Bing : It's exactly like it sounds. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Joey? What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Look. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!", "summary": "Joey gets a turkey stuck on his head."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know! It's stuck!!! Phoebe Buffay : Easy. Step. How did it get on? Joey Tribbiani : I put it on to scare Chandler! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out! Joey Tribbiani : Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here. Phoebe Buffay : Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head up a dead animal. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, did you get the turkey basted-Oh my God! Oh my God! Who is that? Joey Tribbiani : It's Joey.", "summary": "Joey puts a dead animal on Chandler's head, causing Phoebe to freak out and Monica to get upset."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary. Monica Geller : Well, get it off now! Joey Tribbiani : I can't! It-it's stuck! Monica Geller : Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head! Phoebe Buffay : All right, hold on! Okay, let's just all think. Monica Geller : Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. Joey? Now is not the time! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Sorry. Monica Geller : Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3! Chandler Bing : Arghhhhhh!!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are trying to get a turkey off Joey's head for Thanksgiving dinner, but it's stuck. Monica gets frustrated and tells them to think of a solution. Phoebe suggests pulling the turkey off, but Joey can't do it. Chandler intervenes and tries to help, but ends up causing more problems."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha! Chandler Bing : I'm over here big guy. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you are! I scared you! Chandler Bing : You did look like an idiot. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, \"Butternut squash?\" And it came out, \"Squatternut buash?\" Ross Geller : Yeah that's the same. Monica Geller : That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it? #ALL# : Which one? Monica Geller : Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.", "summary": "Monica doesn't want to share a particularly embarrassing Thanksgiving story about Ross and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians. Monica Geller : Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story! Judy Geller : Monica! I think Rachel's here! Monica Geller : I'll get it! Happy Thanksgiving! Rachel Green : Not for me. Chip and I broke up! Monica Geller : Oh, why? Why? What happened? Rachel Green : Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over... Monica Geller : Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower. Rachel Green : Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! Hi! Jack Geller : Hi Rachel!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang gathers for Thanksgiving, but Chandler and Monica's past pain resurfaces, leading to a breakup between Chip and Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Happy Thanksgiving! Judy Geller : You too sweethart! Ross Geller : Hey! Jack Geller : Oh my! Ross Geller : Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band! Monica Geller : Ross! Ross Geller : Oh, this is Monica. Monica Geller : Hi, I'm Ross's little sister. Chandler Bing : Okay. Judy Geller : I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.", "summary": "Ross introduces his roommate and bandmate, Chandler, to his family during Thanksgiving dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food. Judy Geller : Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then. Monica Geller : Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner. Chandler Bing : Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in. Monica Geller : dammit! Ross Geller : So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college. Rachel Green : Oh! No, not really. Ross Geller : Well, that's cool. So did... Rachel Green : Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs! Monica Geller : I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their college experiences, while Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food due to his aversion to the holiday. Monica offers to make him macaroni and cheese for dinner, but he only eats it if the Pilgrims didn't eat it first. The group talks about Chip dumping Rachel for another woman, leading to a confrontation between Rachel and Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men! Ross Geller : Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for. Monica Geller : Call them mom and dad you loser! Ross Geller : Monica! Monica Geller : Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef. Monica Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight! Monica Geller : Oh that's so great! Rachel Green : I know!", "summary": "Rachel decides she's had enough of high school boys and wants to start dating men. Meanwhile, Ross can't find a bowl and Monica teases him, Chandler enjoys the macaroni and cheese, and Rachel excitedly shares the news that a rumor about Nancy Branson has been spreading and causing Chip to dump her, and he wants to come over to Rachel's house that night."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything. Rachel Green : Oh totally, totally. Y'know it's not that big of deal, we already kinda did it once y'know. Monica Geller : I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it! Rachel Green : I know, I know. And oh, and this time Chip promised that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song! Ross Geller : So I'm thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week. Chandler Bing : Emotional Knapsack? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Right on! Oh! Uh, but, don't take to long okay? 'Cause uh, we're gonna test out our fake ID's tonight, right Clifford Alverez. Ross Geller : Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, I'm gonna be out with her all night. Chandler Bing : Dude, don't do that too me!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss their past sexual experiences and make plans for the future. Meanwhile, Ross considers asking Rachel out on a date and Chandler and Cliff plan to test out their fake IDs."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind. Chandler Bing : No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister. Ross Geller : Hey! Judy Geller : Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge. Monica Geller : No. No, thank you! Jack Geller : Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full! Chandler Bing : I called you fat?! I don't even remember that! Monica Geller : Well, I do. Chandler Bing : I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I can't believe you called her fat.", "summary": "Ross lets Chandler stay overnight despite his parents' objections. Chandler insults Ross's sister Monica, leading to a confrontation. Judy offers Monica food but she declines. Jack makes a comment about Monica being full. Chandler apologizes for calling her fat and shares an embarrassing story about rushing the stage at a Wham concert. Phoebe criticizes Chandler's behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I can't believe you let George Michael slap you. Chandler Bing : I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry. Rachel Green : Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about. Monica Geller : Yes, it was! Rachel Green : No, it wasn't. It was actually the... Monica Geller : Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no, I have the cutest Christmas story! Chandler Bing : We wanna hear Monica's Thanksgiving story! Phoebe Buffay : Fine, all right, mine had a dwarf that got broke in half, but y'know whatever. Judy Geller : So Rachel, your mom tells me you changed your major again.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses Thanksgiving and Christmas plans, with Monica suggesting they go get a tree. Phoebe tells a story about a dwarf who got broken in half during Christmas, while Chandler apologizes for letting George Michael slap him. Rachel reveals that her mom has been telling people she changed her major again, and Judy joins the conversation to discuss Rachel's academic changes."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building. Jack Geller : Hi Rachel. Rachel Green : Oh hi! Jack Geller : Wow, love your new nose! Judy Geller : Jack. Jack Geller : What? Dr. Wilson's an artist! He removed my mole cluster. Wanna see? Judy Geller : I'll get it. Rachel Green : No, God! Please, let me! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey. Happy Thanksgiving!", "summary": "Rachel and Jack have difficulty finding parking near the Psychology building. Jack compliments Rachel on her new nose, which was removed by Dr. Wilson, an artist. Judy offers to see the mole cluster, but Jack declines. Ross greets everyone with a happy Thanksgiving message."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : God, your hair sure is different! Chandler Bing : Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. Ross Geller : So uh, where's Monica? Judy Geller : She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving. Monica Geller : Hi, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? Chandler Bing : You just, you look so different! Terrific! That dress! That body! Ross Geller : Dude! Chandler Bing : Sorry!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are at the Geller's for Thanksgiving. Monica's dress attracts attention. Chandler makes a comment about how different she looks."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend. Ross Geller : Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams! Monica Geller : So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner. Jack Geller : Dude! Chandler Bing : Sorry. Rachel Green : Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great! Monica Geller : Well it didn't! Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh! Rachel Green : Okay, that we may be able to do.", "summary": "Ross has a new girlfriend named Carol, who is pretty and smart. Monica sees Chandler at dinner and wants revenge for calling her fat. Rachel tries to help Monica humiliate Chandler but Monica still wants to laugh at him naked."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How? Rachel Green : Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex. Monica Geller : What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him! Rachel Green : Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are. Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him! Rachel Green : Then, you will definitely get him back! Monica Geller : Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him? Rachel Green : Okay, oh, here's what you do. Just act like everything around you turns you on.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel devise a plan to get back at a man who has wronged them by pretending to be interested in him sexually, with the intention of humiliating him when he becomes naked."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What do you mean? Rachel Green : Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him. Monica Geller : I can do that! Rachel Green : Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. Hey, what's up? Chandler Bing : Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year. Monica Geller : Umm, I'd love too! Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Boy, I love carrots! Oh! Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, my body. Chandler Bing : Are you all right? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that-", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss how certain objects can be sexy, such as a dishtowel, while Chandler requests macaroni and cheese from Monica. Monica becomes distracted and starts to touch herself with carrots, causing Chandler to question her well-being."}
-{"dialogues": "The Doctor : What do we got here? The Paramedic : Twenty year old has got a severed toe on his right foot. Ross Geller : Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it! The Doctor : It says here that the knife went right through your shoe. Jack Geller : Of course it did. They're made of wicker. The Doctor : Did you bring the toe? Monica Geller : Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! The Doctor : Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and- Monica Geller : What?! What is it? The Doctor : You brought a carrot.", "summary": "Twenty year old has severed toe on right foot; doctor tries to treat injury but is interrupted by Ross's awkwardness; Jack reveals that shoes are made of wicker; Monica brings the severed toe and a carrot to the scene."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? The Doctor : This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot. Rachel Green : You brought a carrot?! Judy Geller : Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen. Monica Geller : God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it! The Doctor : It's too late, all we can do now is sow up the wound. Chandler Bing : Without my toe?! I need my toe! Monica Geller : Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche! Jack Geller : Oh, I'm not falling for that one! Chandler Bing : That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!", "summary": "The group discovers a severed toe in Monica's kitchen and a cold piece of carrot belonging to the Doctor. They try to find the missing toe but it's too late, they can only sew up the wound. Chandler is devastated about losing his toe and blames Monica for calling him fat."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident. Chandler Bing : That's why for an entire year people called me Sir Limps-A-Lot?! Monica Geller : I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. Monica Geller : Chandler! Ross Geller : Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that. Joey Tribbiani : You're a dork. Chandler Bing : I can't believe this. Monica Geller : Chandler, I said I was sorry. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, sorry doesn't bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.", "summary": "Chandler accidentally cuts off Monica's toe and people start calling him \"Sir Limps-A-Lot.\" Monica apologizes, but Chandler is still upset and feels sorry for himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything? Chandler Bing : Yeah, just leave me alone for a while. Chandler Bing : Oh-oh, I'm a duck! I go, \"Quack, quack!\" I'm happy all the time! Chandler Bing : Nice try. Monica Geller : Wait, wait, wait! Chandler Bing : Look, Monica... Monica Geller : Look! Chandler Bing : This is not going to work. Monica Geller : I bet this will work! Chandler Bing : You are so great! I love you!", "summary": "Chandler gets upset and wants to be left alone, but Monica tries to help him by pretending to be a duck."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing! I said, I said \"You're so great\" and then I just, I just stopped talking! Monica Geller : You said you loved me! I can't believe this! Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Monica Geller : Yes, you did! Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Monica Geller : You love me! Chandler Bing : No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Phoebe Buffay : Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! Whew! This is getting ridiculous uh! Phoebe Buffay : What am I sitting on?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue about whether or not he said \"You're so great\" and then Chandler admits he did say it, but denies loving Monica. Phoebe intervenes and tries to help by getting gauze."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Top of the world? Dock of the bay? I'm out. Phoebe Buffay : Ew-eww!! Undies! Rachel Green : All right! Who's are they? Who's are they? Ross Geller : Well, they're not mine! Chandler Bing : Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they're mine. Chandler Bing : See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's! Ross Geller : Why are they here? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know uhh... Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes. Rachel Green : Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang finds Joey's lost underwear and argues over who it belongs to."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah! Monica Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : Take 'em! Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? A word. Joey Tribbiani : That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! Ahh! And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8? Monica Geller : Thank you Joey, thank you so much! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and Monica Geller : Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it was! All right, listen, I can't... Chandler Bing : All this lying has been hard on us too.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel find Joey's underwear and start playing with them, leading to a series of embarrassing situations for Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier! Chandler Bing : Well, yeah actually. Monica Geller : We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret. Chandler Bing : I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships. Monica Geller : We are! Help us! Chandler Bing : Help! Joey Tribbiani : All right! But, you do it with me once. Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Didn't think so. Monica Geller : Hey, Phoebe!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are hiding their relationship from everyone, including Joey and Phoebe. They want to keep it a secret because they don't want anyone to know about their affair. Chandler is hesitant and jokes that he's \"bad at relationships,\" while Monica begs him to help her with the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hi, Pheebs! Rachel Green : Hey, Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs! Rachel Green : What are you reading? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow. Chandler Bing : I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam. Rachel Green : Honey that sounds like fun. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with! Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Phoebe is taking a literature class at The New School and needs to finish reading \"Wuthering Heights\" by tomorrow. Chandler finds out and thinks it's cool. Phoebe mentions she enjoyed her previous class, a Lamaze one, but this time wants something more intellectual with a less painful final exam. Rachel expresses interest in joining Phoebe for the class and sitting with her during exams."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Okay-ooh, but are you going to have time to read it? Rachel Green : Oh, I read that in high school. Phoebe Buffay : This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish. Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : What's wrong buddy? Ross Geller : Someone at work ate my sandwich! Chandler Bing : Well, what did the police say? Ross Geller : My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it! Chandler Bing : Ross, it's just a sandwich! Ross Geller : Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!", "summary": "Ross is upset after someone eats his Thanksgiving leftover sandwich at work."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but Ross Geller : That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything. Chandler Bing : Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street. Ross Geller : Really?! So what would you say Pheebs? Stuff like uh, \"Keep your mitts off my grub?\" Chandler Bing : Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. #ALL# : Whoa! Ohh!! Monica Geller : Phoebe, you are a bad ass!", "summary": "Monica offers to share her lunch with Ross, who is surprised and grateful. Chandler interrupts with a knock-knock joke, while Joey makes a comment about Monica wearing her food. Phoebe joins in, scaring off potential thieves with a tough persona she learned from living on the streets."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop. Monica Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he stabbed me first!! Rachel Green : Sorry I'm late, but I left late. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : So Pheebs, what is the book about? Phoebe Buffay : I thought you said you read it in high school. Rachel Green : Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anyway-umm, what is this book about? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism. The Teacher : How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here , Rachel Green?", "summary": "Tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff set on creepy moors in England, symbolizing Heathcliff's wild character."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story. The Teacher : Well, that's sort of a given, but yes. Anyone else? Rachel Green : Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character. The Teacher : Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here... Phoebe Buffay : You completely stole my answer! Rachel Green : Well, honey that was pretty obvious. Phoebe Buffay : Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it! The Teacher : What do you think? You in the blue shirt. Phoebe Buffay : I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers. The Teacher : Would ya care to venture one?", "summary": "Tragic love story with symbolism of wildness and morality mirrored in Heathcliff's character."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Would you care to venture one? The Teacher : Are you just repeating what I'm saying? Phoebe Buffay : Are you just repeating what I'm saying? The Teacher : All right, let's move on. Phoebe Buffay : Okay then. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?! Rachel Green : Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you! Ross Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Ross Geller : Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel discuss why Rachel didn't admit she hadn't read a book, leading to an awkward situation. Ross enters and shares his experience with people at work being afraid of him after someone called him \"mental.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller. Ross Geller : That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now! Cynthia : God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out. Joey Tribbiani : So you uh, still wondering? Cynthia : No, we just went out. Joey Tribbiani : You're smart. I like that. Cynthia : Oh, candles! What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no-no, wait-wait-wait!! Cynthia : I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! Joey Tribbiani : Hiya.", "summary": "Monica and Ross argue about a prank from high school, while Cynthia joins them and they all reminisce about their past experiences. Joey tries to impress Cynthia by asking her out on a date, but things quickly go awry when he reveals his plans for video recording their intimate moments."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey, is what she just said umm-Oh my God. You were actually gonna... Chandler Bing : What is going on here? Rachel Green : And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick? Joey Tribbiani : I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. Joey Tribbiani : You guys promised you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Joey name is being dragged through the mud here! Monica Geller : We're so sorry. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig! Chandler Bing : No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your adult film class. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?", "summary": "Joey makes a sex tape with an unknown woman and Chandler finds it at his place, leading to a series of awkward conversations and explanations."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh-I don't know. Joey Tribbiani : Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet! Monica Geller : Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!! Dr. Ledbetter : Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you? Ross Geller : Yeah, of course, Donald. Dr. Ledbetter : We've been getting reports of some very angry behavior on your part. Ross Geller : What?! Dr. Ledbetter : Threatening letters, refusal to meet deadlines, apparently people now call you mental. Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross threatens and acts angrily towards people, while Joey wants to come out of the non-gay closet."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Ledbetter : We want you to speak to a psychiatrist. Ross Geller : Oh no, you-you don't understand. Ugh, this is so silly. Umm, this is all because of a sandwich. Dr. Ledbetter : A sandwich? Ross Geller : Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here... Dr. Ledbetter : Oh, you know what? Ross Geller : What? Dr. Ledbetter : I-I'm sorry. I, I-I-I believe I ate that. Ross Geller : You ate my sandwich? Dr. Ledbetter : It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone. Ross Geller : Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moist Maker?", "summary": "Ross accidentally eats his sister's sandwich (the \"Moist Maker\") and mistakes it for his own."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Ledbetter : No. Ross Geller : Do you perhaps seeing a note on top of it? Dr. Ledbetter : There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind. Ross Geller : That said it was my sandwich?! Dr. Ledbetter : Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash. Ross Geller : What? Dr. Ledbetter : Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away. Ross Geller : You-you-you-you threw my sandwich away! Ross Geller : MY SANDWICH?!!! Ross Geller : MY SANDWICH!!!!!!", "summary": "Ross accidentally throws Dr. Ledbetter's sandwich away, leading to a confrontation between the two."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : So umm, what's this book about? Phoebe Buffay : You didn't read this one either?! Rachel Green : Well, I was gonna, but I accidentally read something else. Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman. Phoebe Buffay : No! You should've read it yourself! Rachel Green : Come on Phoebe! Don't be such a goodie-goodie! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.", "summary": "Jane Eyre is actually a cyborg."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : A cyborg?! Isn't that like a robot?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time. The Teacher : Sorry I'm late. Let's get started. So, what did everybody think about Jane Eyre? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights. The Teacher : Well, go ahead Rachel. Rachel Green : Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time. The Teacher : If you're talking about feminism, I think you're right. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, feminism yes, but also the robots. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview.", "summary": "Jane Eyre is ahead of its time in feminism and robotics (cyborgs)."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You're naked in this picture! Monica Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : Ross? Ross Geller : Hey Chandler. Monica! Monica Geller : Ross, are you okay? Ross Geller : I'm fine! I saw a psychiatrist at work today. Monica Geller : Why?! Ross Geller : On account of my rage. Chandler Bing : Which I may say, right now, is out of control. Ross Geller : He gave me a pill for it.", "summary": "Ross has a rage issue and sees a psychiatrist at work. Monica finds a naked picture of Chandler, leading to awkwardness."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : A pill? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work? Chandler Bing : And you're okay with that? Ross Geller : I don't know. It's going to be weird not having a job for a while, but I, I definitely don't care about my sandwich. Rachel Green : Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop. Rachel Green : That was not funny! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously. Rachel Green : Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!", "summary": "Ross takes a tranquilizer offered by his psychiatrist after yelling at his boss and becomes disconnected from reality. Monica and Chandler are surprised but okay with him taking time off work. Rachel finds it embarrassing when Ross starts comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop in class, leading to a funny moment where Phoebe snaps and starts making jokes about the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school. Rachel Green : Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with? Monica Geller : I know! I know! I know! The Teacher : Monica, you asked the question. Rachel Green : Oh my God! That's Monica!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no! Rachel Green : You get away from me!! You sick, sick, sick, sick-o!! Ross Geller : What's going on? Rachel Green : Joey has got a secret peephole! Chandler Bing : Oh no! No! No! No!", "summary": "Phoebe wants to learn while Rachel just wants to have fun. Monica suggests taking Phoebe to the teacher, but Rachel gets upset when Joey reveals he has a secret peephole."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them! Rachel Green : Look! Ross Geller : Dude! That's my sister! Monica Geller : Give me that! Phoebe Buffay : All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert! Joey Tribbiani : No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just... I just... Kinda... Chandler Bing : All right, look! Look. I think I can explain this. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Chandler Bing : Joey's a sex addict. Joey Tribbiani : What?!! No I'm not!!", "summary": "Joey takes naked pictures of his friends and looks at them while eating chicken. When they try to explain why he does this, Joey claims he is not a pervert but Chandler reveals that Joey has a sex addiction."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease! Joey Tribbiani : No! No! I am not a sex addict! Monica Geller : Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff! Joey Tribbiani : No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth! Rachel Green : Well, what is the truth? Ross Geller : Yeah, what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : I slept with Monica. Chandler Bing : Well let's....let's see what everybody thinks of that? Monica Geller : Oh no!", "summary": "Joey denies being a sex addict, but Monica insists he is. They discuss their theories with Rachel and Ross, who are confused. Joey reveals he slept with Monica, causing tension in the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You slept with my sister? Joey Tribbiani : Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London. Ross Geller : This is not good for my rage. Rachel Green : Monica, is this true? Joey Tribbiani : Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on? Monica Geller : Yes it's true. Rachel Green : Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day? Joey Tribbiani : Ahh-oy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica? Monica Geller : I guess I wanted to keep it as a souvenir. Ross Geller : My God Monica!!", "summary": "Ross finds out Joey slept with his sister in London, leading to a confrontation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Are you sure Joe? Are you sure you're not just a sex addict? Joey Tribbiani : No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London! Phoebe Buffay : So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself. Joey Tribbiani : That makes sense! Rachel Green : And the video camera? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, Monica? Monica Geller : I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey. Joey Tribbiani : But sadly I could not be enticed. Ross Geller : Unbelievable! I mean you really kept Joey's underwear?! Why? Why would you do that?! Monica Geller : I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.", "summary": "Monica tries to seduce Joey with a naked picture and video camera, but he resists. Rachel finds the underwear Monica kept from Joey's trip to London and is shocked by her stalker-like behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. Phoebe Buffay : I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off. A Female Student : Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know! I didn't come with her! Monica Geller : All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week! #ALL# : A test?!! Monica Geller : Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! We should have essay questions!! Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Ross Geller : I...Reorganized The Fridge. See, Bottom Shelf: Meats And Dairy. And Top Shelf expired products. Joey Tribbiani : Why are you doing this?", "summary": "Monica convinces Paul to give the group a test next week, while Joey and Ross argue over the organization of the fridge."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Because I am bored...Out of my mind. I've already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. You've got to spread it out a little, you know. Haven't you ever been unemployed? Ross Geller : Hey, I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't get religious on me, ok. A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here...sit down. Ready? Ahh!! Ohh, yeah!! Huh?! Ross Geller : So what, we just sit? Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, no, no. We're not going to just sit. Shhh. Chandler Bing : Hello, Chandler Bing. Joey Tribbiani : Hello Mr. Bing...I love you. Chandler Bing : Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! It's been six months! It's not funny! Joey Tribbiani : But, I love you.", "summary": "Ross is bored and has completed errands at the bank, post office, and dry cleaners in a week. Joey suggests he should relax more and not do everything in one day. Ross clarifies that he is on sabbatical, but Joey thinks he needs to relax even more. Chandler joins the conversation and tells Joey to stop calling him after six months."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! Joey Tribbiani : And that's Wednesday. Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, guess what? Chandler Bing : The British are coming? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, you and your ways. Since it's Christmastime. I'm going to be one of those people collection donations. #ALL# : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I already have my bell and later on...I get my bucket. Chandler Bing : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, I'm going to be out there spreading joy to the people. I mean, last year, I spread a little joy but not really enough. So this year, I'm going to do the whole city. Monica Geller : You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular.", "summary": "The group is annoyed by Chandler's constant complaining, while Phoebe prepares for her Christmas charity work by collecting donations and spreading joy to the people. Monica reveals that she knew someone in high school who was popular for doing the same thing."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So Pheebs, where are you doing all, your bell ringing? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but I'm the only one who can sing \"Merry Christmas\" in 25 languages. I lied. Rachel Green : Oh my god. Ok you guys, there's Danny. Watch. Just watch this. See?! Still pretending he's not interested. Ohh, he's coming over. Just pretend like we don't know him. We've forgotten who he is. Danny : Hey guys. #ALL# : Hey Danny. Monica Geller : Danny? You know Rachel? She's nice. She's not bad to look at, right? Rachel Green : Thanks, Mon. Danny : Well, of course. Monica Geller : Do you want to go out on a date with her? Rachel Green : Monica!!!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe argue over a spot for bell ringing, while Joey tries to get Danny's attention. Monica suggests setting Rachel up with Danny, but things quickly get awkward."}
-{"dialogues": "Danny : Absolutely! Is Friday okay? Monica Geller : Friday's perfect...She can't wait. Danny : On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly? See ya Friday. Rachel Green : Okay. What the hell was that? You know what? Don't answer me. I have a date with Danny. Joey Tribbiani : How could I not get the part? The play was about a 29-year-old Italian actor from Queens. Estelle Leonard : Well, Telia Shire suddenly became available. Joey Tribbiani : She's a woman! Estelle Leonard : What can I say? She nailed it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, is there anything else? Estelle Leonard : Well, you're just going to say no again but...gay porn.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Danny wants to talk to Monica directly on their date, while Rachel has a date with him and Joey auditions for a play despite feeling unconfident. Estelle Leonard becomes available for the role, but Joey is hesitant due to her being a woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : I just wanted to see how it's going. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's going okay. Monica Geller : Well good, here let me help you out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thanks! Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Is that a new Swede jacket? It looks really expensive.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica have a brief conversation during the holiday season. They exchange greetings and Monica offers to help Phoebe with something. Phoebe expresses gratitude and they continue talking about a new jacket that Monica has purchased."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah. I guess. Phoebe Buffay : Just get your nails done? Monica Geller : Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Thanks! Happy Holidays, here's your joy. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! And Happy Holidays. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, you can't take the money out. The Man : I'm making change. I need change for the bus. Phoebe Buffay : But, can't you leave the dollar? This money is for the poor. The Man : I'm poor! I gotta take the bus! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Seasons Greetings and everything, but still...", "summary": "Monica Geller gets her nails done and gives some money to Phoebe Buffay, who tries to give it back but The Man needs it for a bus ride."}
-{"dialogues": "The Man : Bite me, blondie! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just... Joey Tribbiani : That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it! Ross Geller : I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys? Joey Tribbiani : Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it? Joey Tribbiani : Wait a second, I could star in it! Ross Geller : Or that. Joey Tribbiani : I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it. Ross Geller : I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do. Joey Tribbiani : Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a group of friends discussing their creative pursuits and goals. The Man insults Phoebe, who responds by saying she will give him something else besides joy. Joey expresses disappointment that he didn't get a part in a play, while Ross suggests that he should write his own play or movie. Joey is skeptical of his own writing abilities and expresses frustration at not having the discipline to follow through with his creative ideas. Ross offers to help Joey by creating a schedule and holding him accountable."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Ross Geller : All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character. Joey Tribbiani : Done! Ross Geller : And it can't be Joey. Joey Tribbiani : It's not. Ross Geller : Or Joseph. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Monica Geller : Hey, what's up? Rachel Green : I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.", "summary": "Main character named...Joey"}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Well, you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!! Monica Geller : You had no relationship!! Rachel Green : No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan! Monica Geller : Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl. Rachel Green : She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm gonna go on the date. That is the new plan. Monica Geller : Come on, hurry! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how do you spell suspicious? Chandler Bing : Why? Joey Tribbiani : Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over a boy, while Joey tries to spell \"suspicious.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes! Chandler Bing, 7! Chandler Bing, 0. Joey Tribbiani : You're driving me crazy with that! Chandler Bing : Okay, I'll stop. Joey Tribbiani : Don't stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot! Joey Tribbiani : Well, you suck! But at least you suck at a man's game now. Chandler Bing : You wanna play? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule. Chandler Bing : Well, so, play for the next 30 minutes and then write until he gets home. Joey Tribbiani : All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch? Chandler Bing : I'm intrigued.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends play a game of hoops, with Joey trying to make shots while writing his five pages for Ross. Chandler joins in and they try to \"crank it up a notch.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right, all we need is a little lighter fluid. Chandler Bing : Okay, but be careful okay, because I wanna get our security deposit back. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts. Chandler Bing : Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle? Joey Tribbiani : Uh yeah, right here. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you, Happy Holidays. Phoebe Buffay : Now, that's trash. Young lady, you can't... Hey! Stop that young lady, she donated trash! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!! The charity's on fire! Help! Oh good! Thank you, I need that. Whoa! What is that?! It's nine o'clock in the morning! Ross Geller : All right. A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. That's it? Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! And what is, and what is all this?! The official rulebook of Fireball. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's the uh, game we were playing.", "summary": "A group of friends attempt to host a charity event but things quickly go awry when they accidentally set fire to the venue and are forced to improvise. Along the way, they play a game called \"Fireball\" and get into various mishaps."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and some lighter fluid-Op! Op! Ross Geller : This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game! Joey Tribbiani : You're right, you're right, I'll get back to work. Ross Geller : And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. Now come on! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! Ahh! Danny : I had a really nice time tonight. Rachel Green : So did I. I'm really glad Monica asked us out. Danny : I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch. Rachel Green : You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch!", "summary": "Ross, Joey, and Chandler are working on a crazy lawsuit game. Rachel and Danny had a nice time together but Rachel is confused about Danny's sister being asleep on the couch."}
-{"dialogues": "Danny's Sister : Oh, I thought I heard you. Danny : Oh hey, great, you're up. Rachel, this is my sister Krista. Krista, this is Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Krista : Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up! Danny : Like it would help. Krista : You are so bad! Danny : You are! Krista : You are! Danny : You are! Krista : You are!", "summary": "Danny's sister arrives unannounced and is greeted by Rachel. Krista is not impressed with Danny's casual attitude towards having guests over."}
-{"dialogues": "Danny : You are! Krista : You are! Danny : You are so dead! I'm gonna get you. Rachel Green : Uh, it was very nice meeting you. Phoebe Buffay : Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you? Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Does it look like an ashtray? Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Does it look like a urinal? Monica Geller : Eww!!", "summary": "Danny threatens Krista, who is accompanied by Rachel and Phoebe. The group discovers that the bucket in their presence is not for trash but something else entirely."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what? Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah! But I'm not gonna take anymore crap. Okay? No more Mrs. Nice Bucket! Monica Geller : Yeah, good for you. Y'know you're tough, you lived on the streets. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah! Oh but, y'know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, umm, can I ask you guys something? Monica Geller : Sure. Rachel Green : Uh, I don't have any brothers so I don't know, but uh, did you guys wrestle? Ross Geller : Oh-oh, yeah.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe decides to stop taking crap from people and becomes \"Street Phoebe\" again, but realizes she can't fully go back because her old friends won't be friends with her if she's still tough. Rachel asks if the guys wrestled, and Ross reveals he used to wrestle."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All the time. In fact, I was undefeated. Ross Geller : Uh, you weighted 200 pounds. Monica Geller : Still, I was quick as a cat. Rachel Green : Well, I met Danny's sister yesterday, and uh that was actually the girl on the subway. Monica Geller : Oh, you're kidding. Rachel Green : Yeah, they were very y'know...wrestley. But, I guess that's normal? Monica Geller : We don't, we don't wrestle now. Ross Geller : Yeah, not since I got too strong for you. Monica Geller : Too strong for me? Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel reminisce about their past wrestling matches, with Monica claiming to be undefeated despite Ross's attempts to prove otherwise. Ross reveals that he got too strong for Monica, leading to a brief exchange of insults between the two."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You wanna go right now? 'Cause I'll take you right now, buddy! You wanna go? Ross Geller : Oh fine. Monica Geller : Ready? Wrestle! Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what uh, actually, that's great. That helps a lot. Thanks. Chandler Bing : Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe! Ross Geller : Joey's not going. Joey Tribbiani : I didn't finish my five pages. Chandler Bing : Well, why can't you do them tomorrow? Ross Geller : Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages. Joey Tribbiani : Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work.", "summary": "Monica and Ross go to a hockey game while Rachel helps Joe with his script. Chandler tries to get them to leave but they refuse."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done. Ross Geller : I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, if you think Fireball's relaxing, you've obviously have never played. Chandler Bing : The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed. Ross Geller : I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical! Joey Tribbiani : Come on look guys, don't fight. Ross Geller : And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing. Chandler Bing : Oh, so being a good friend means acting like a total jerk? Ross Geller : If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey guys, hey! How about we settle this over a friendly game of Fireball? Huh? I'll go unhook the smoke detectors!", "summary": "Joey and Ross argue over whether or not Chandler is relaxing enough. They are interrupted by Joey's suggestion to settle their argument with a game of Fireball, which escalates into a fight between Ross and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : How about we settle this right now! There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha! Chandler Bing : I paid for those tickets! Ross Geller : No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Danny : ...so we finally get to the top of the mountain and airhead here forgets the camera! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time. Chandler Bing : When did that happen to you?! Joey Tribbiani : Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a picture-I didn't have my camera! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah. First off all, chasing the Churo guy isn't jogging. Krista : Oh, this is so good you have got to try it.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over a game, with Ross accusing Chandler of not paying for tickets. Meanwhile, Joey and Danny struggle to take a photo at the top of a mountain due to forgetting their cameras."}
-{"dialogues": "Danny : Oh, damn! I got it on my pants. Krista : Here, I'll get it. Krista : We'd better take these pants off upstairs or that stain's gonna set. Danny : Yep. I'm gonna wear these on our date tonight. Rachel Green : Oh, great! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye! Oh my God!! Monica Geller : That was unbelievable! Rachel Green : Okay, see? I told you! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, wow, sorry Rach. Chandler Bing : I don't believe they're brother and sister.", "summary": "Danny accidentally gets something on his pants, Krista offers to help him clean it off, but they decide to do it upstairs to prevent a stain. However, Danny decides to wear the pants on a date that night despite Krista's objections. Meanwhile, Rachel and Monica share a funny story about something that happened with Chandler, who is uncomfortable with the attention. Joey tries to apologize to Rachel for something he did, but she brushes it off."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : They're brother and sister!!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, open up your hand; let me take a look. Quarter. Dime. Lint? Not interested in that. What's this? A Canadian coin? Get outta here! Phoebe Buffay : Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! Hi Bob! I thought I told you to get outta here! Bob : Uh, Phoebe we've been getting complaints and uh, we're gonna move you to a less high-profile spot. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Bob : Umm, Ginger's gonna take over this corner. Phoebe Buffay : That chick can't handle my corner. Bob : Look, either you leave, or we remove you. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. Danny : Oh, hey Rach! I thought we said seven?", "summary": "Brother and sister find a quarter, dime, and lint in their hand. Phoebe doesn't want any of it and tells Bob to move away from the bucket. Bob tries to move Phoebe to a less prominent spot but she refuses. Phoebe warns Bob about Ginger taking over her corner and threatens to give him one pointer."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah uh, y'know what uh, let's skip it. Danny : What?! Why?! Rachel Green : Umm, you-you and your sister seem to have umm, a very special bond, and... Danny : Oh great! That special bond again! Why do women have such a problem with the fact that I'm close with my sister? Rachel Green : Well, okay, look. I don't know, listen, I don't know what's going on here but let's... Danny : Do-do you, do you have brothers? Rachel Green : No, I have two sisters. But one of them has a very masculine energy. Danny : Are you close with them? Rachel Green : No-no, they're not very nice people. Danny : Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?", "summary": "Danny and Rachel have a conversation about their families, with Danny expressing frustration at people's reactions to his close relationship with his sister. Rachel has two sisters, but one of them has a masculine energy and they are not very nice people. Danny likes Rachel and wants their relationship to progress despite this."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, uh, I-I don't know. See when-when you put it that way y'know it does sort of... Krista : Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold! Danny : What? Rachel Green : Yeah, okay, I'll see you later. Chandler Bing : Oh hey! There's some kids playing in the street, you wanna go down there and give them a project, ruin their day? Ross Geller : Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today! Ross Geller : Yay! Chandler Bing : Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! Last night! Joey Tribbiani : No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!", "summary": "Rachel Green and Krista have a conversation about something, but Rachel seems hesitant. Danny interrupts them to hurry up with the bath water. Chandler Bing suggests ruining kids' day by giving them a project, while Ross Geller jokes about sticking razor blades in a ball and teaching them a new game. Joey Tribbiani finished his five pages for the day at the library. The group decides to go to a Ranger game together, but Ross accidentally tore up their tickets."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh? Chandler Bing : Yeah or also when you don't have somebody breathing down your neck ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me? Chandler Bing : All right. Ross Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. \"It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out.\" Ross Ross Geller : Hey man. Chandler Bing : What is up? Ross Geller : About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry. Chandler Bing : No, it was me. I'm sorry. I over reacted.", "summary": "Two guys are hanging out in an apartment in New York City. One of them, Ross, apologizes for something he did yesterday, while the other, Chandler, admits to overreacting in response to a situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest... But we had our best friend's interest at heart. Chandler Bing : Could I be more sorry. Ross Geller : I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. All right Joey, we get it. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry too. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no! No-no, keep reading! The good part's coming up. Keep going. Ross Geller : I am sorry, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I am sorry, Ross. Joey Tribbiani : A handsome man enters. Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you well you co-created Fireball. The end. Chandler Bing : This took you all day?! Joey Tribbiani : No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. Ha-ha!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler had a secret they kept from their friend Joey, but they eventually confessed that they created Fireball together."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out. Monica Geller : Hi, how are you doing Kelly? Rachel Green : I'm doing just fine! God, Tiffany, you smell so great! Monica Geller : It's my new perfume. Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it? Rachel Green : Oh, y'know Joey, you are sick! Monica Geller : This is disgusting! Rachel Green : I'm not reading this! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Wait-wait-wait! The handsome man was about to enter!! Jay Leno : Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing? Joey Tribbiani : All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Two girls hang out in a New York City apartment, one talks about her new perfume while the other finds it disgusting. A man enters and joins them, causing a commotion."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : We're very happy for you. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter?! Chandler Bing : We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know... Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll take care of it. Monica Geller : Oh no, wait! Joey! Ross Geller : 73! 72! 71! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe? Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well you gotta kiss someone, you can't kiss your sister. Ross Geller : Well, who's gonna kiss my sister.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are happy for each other but want to share a midnight kiss. Monica objects, and Ross starts counting down from 73, distracting Joey from the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Chandler. Ross Geller : Awww, man! Really? Joey Tribbiani : Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler? Ross Geller : That's a good point. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, great! Ross Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight! Phoebe Buffay : It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue about who would rather kiss Rachel. Meanwhile, Phoebe suggests that Ross should simply ask her to kiss at midnight."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Rach! Rach! Listen, I'm gonna kiss you at midnight. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history. Rachel Green : So? Joey Tribbiani : So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler? Rachel Green : Oh, good point. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! #ALL# : 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Chandler Bing : Happy New Year! Monica Geller : Happy New Year.", "summary": "Joey tries to kiss Rachel at midnight, but she rejects him due to her past with Ross. Joey then asks Rachel who she would rather have kissed, leading to a debate between the two. In the end, they both wish each other a Happy New Year."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Happy New Year, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : You too! Rachel Green : Happy New Year, Joey! Joey Tribbiani : So did that do anything for ya? Ross Geller : Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99! Rachel Green : But your divorce isn't even final yet. Ross Geller : Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy. Chandler Bing : Do you want us to leave the room, or? Ross Geller : Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.", "summary": "Ross makes a New Year's resolution to not get divorced in 1999, while Phoebe resolves to learn how to fly a commercial jet."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane. Monica Geller : She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us. Ross Geller : In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week. Chandler Bing : I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the \"new thing you do that day!\" And it starts right now! Joey Tribbiani : All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar. Ross Geller : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! How come? Joey Tribbiani : Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it would be great if one of those was true. Phoebe Buffay : Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe make a bet that Chandler can't go a year without making fun of his friends, with a week as a smaller benchmark. Joey resolves to learn how to play the guitar."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Really? Who-who have you taught? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I taught me and I love me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that'd be great! Thanks Pheebs! Rachel Green : Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, maybe your resolution should be to umm, gossip less. Rachel Green : I don't gossip! Rachel Green : Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip? Monica Geller : Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, I would. Rachel Green : What? They were like this! Woman : I'll see you tomorrow.", "summary": "Phoebe taught herself and loves herself, Joey wants to learn, Rachel finds out Claire forgot her glasses, Monica suggests gossiping less, and Rachel passes on information but denies being a gossip."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay! Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : I just asked that girl out. Chandler Bing : Nice! Joey Tribbiani : Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today? Ross Geller : Yes it is. See. Chandler Bing : Elizabeth Hornswoggle? Ross Geller : That's right, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle. Chandler Bing : Horn-swoggle. Joey Tribbiani : You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?", "summary": "Ross asks out a girl named Elizabeth Hornswoggle and it turns out to be part of his New Year's resolution."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. Joey Tribbiani : Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! Ross Geller : Hi, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth Hornswoggle. Phoebe Buffay : Hornswoggle? Ooh, this must be killing you. Ross Geller : All right, see you later. Joey Tribbiani : See ya! All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! First you learn here, then you learn here. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, okay.", "summary": "Ross has a date with Elizabeth Hornswoggle, but he seems uninterested; meanwhile, Joey wants to learn how to play the guitar from Phoebe, but she refuses to teach him until he learns the proper way first."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Lesson One: Chords. Now, I Don'T Know The Actual Names Of The Chords But Umm, I-I-I Made Up Names For The Way My Hand Looks While I'M Doing Them. So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. Chandler Bing : What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular. Phoebe Buffay : Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all. Rachel Green : I didn't! Even when I found out...umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and... Phoebe Buffay : Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?! Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Give me your hands. Strings. Gimme it! Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?", "summary": "Phoebe teaches a lesson on chords using made-up names for the shapes of her hand while playing, while Chandler finds it amusing. Rachel claims she didn't gossip despite finding something out about someone, and Joey shows off his progress with Old Lady (a chord). Phoebe gets excited to teach Joey how to play guitar and asks if he touched any guitars at a store he visited."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Then don't touch one!! Ross Geller : Hi! Ben Geller : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi Ben! Ben Geller : Auntie Monica!! Chandler Bing : Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? Someone comment on the pants! Rachel Green : I think they're very nice. Monica Geller : I like 'em. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!", "summary": "Ross is wearing leather pants and no one comments on it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I like them a lot. Chandler Bing : That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. Maybe there's something in that area. Ross Geller : Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, \"Wow, I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before.\" Chandler Bing : Oh come on!! Ross Geller : Okay, seriously, what do you think? Joey Tribbiani : You look like a freak. Rachel Green : Awful, absolutely awful. Ross Geller : What are you, what are you doing? Monica Geller : It's my New Year's resolution! Ross Geller : What, to blind my child?", "summary": "Ross tries on tight pants at a leather store and his friends make fun of him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures. Joey Tribbiani : Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. Ross Geller : My God! These pants are burning up! Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! Are you hot? Elizabeth Hornswoggle : No. Ross Geller : Okay, it must just be me then. Ross Geller : That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom? Elizabeth Hornswoggle : No, go ahead. Ross Geller : Thanks. Ross Geller : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... Elizabeth Hornswoggle : Hey, my favorite part is coming up!", "summary": "Monica wants to take more pictures of everyone together. Joey mentions that he will also enjoy playing his music. Ross complains about his pants and later uses the bathroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : 'Kay! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Tiger! Dragon! Iceberg!! Joseph, did you even study at all last night? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes, I did. Phoebe Buffay : Then do Iceberg! Joey Tribbiani : G-sharp. Phoebe Buffay : G-sharp? Have you been studying the real names of the chords? Have you? Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : What?! I didn't touch a guitar! Phoebe Buffay : No, but you're questioning my method! Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! What?!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe have a conversation about guitar chords, with Phoebe teaching Joey how to play \"Iceberg.\" Joey struggles to learn the chord and Phoebe becomes frustrated."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid. Joey Tribbiani : Your other student, was you! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder! Joey Tribbiani : Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!! Rachel Green : \"Baddest man in the whole damn town.\" Phoebe Buffay : Oh, fine! Take his side! Monica Geller : I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours. Chandler Bing : Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname?", "summary": "Monica thinks her student Phoebe is stupid but none of her other students thought so. Joey disagrees and says Phoebe needs to try harder. Phoebe retorts by saying Joey might need a qualified teacher like Andy Cooper, who teaches guitar and has a picture with a little kid. Monica agrees to help Joey find a better instructor. Meanwhile, Rachel refers to Leroy Brown as the \"baddest man in the whole damn town.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big... Rachel Green : Arghh!! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Ross Geller : Joey, it's Ross! I need some help! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, Chandler's not here. Ross Geller : Well, you can help me! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom... Joey Tribbiani : Nice! Ross Geller : No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!", "summary": "Ross gets overheated in Elizabeth's bathroom and takes off his pants, but they shrink or stretch due to sweat."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder? Ross Geller : Powder! Yeah! Yeah, I have powder! Joey Tribbiani : Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay, hold on! They're not coming on man. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, do you see any-oh, Vaseline? Ross Geller : Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there. Ross Geller : Hold on. Joey Tribbiani : Ross? You okay? Ross Geller : They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!", "summary": "Ross accidentally gets his pants wet in a humiliating situation, and Joey tries to help him by suggesting various substances to absorb the moisture. However, their attempts only make the situation worse as they end up creating a paste that is not coming off."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Uhh, what color is it? Ross Geller : What difference does that make?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm just-if the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference! Rachel Green : Joey, do you have a minute? Ross Geller : Dude, what am I gonna... Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, I have such a problem! Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something! Joey Tribbiani : What-what is it, what is it?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Ross argue over a pair of pants, while Rachel has a problem that Joey helps her with."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know! Rachel Green : Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable! Joey Tribbiani : I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone! Rachel Green : What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they? Joey Tribbiani : And you're not supposed to be gossiping!! Rachel Green : I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone... Joey Tribbiani : I'm not listening to you! Elizabeth Hornswoggle : Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out. Ross Geller : All right, I'm coming out. Hey, can you turn the lights off.", "summary": "Rachel Green confides in Joey Tribbiani about a huge secret, but he refuses to listen and tries to change the subject. Meanwhile, Ross Geller is stuck in a closet for an extended period of time, prompting concern from Elizabeth Hornswoggle."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Hornswoggle : No, let's just leave the lights on. Elizabeth Hornswoggle : Oh my God! Ross Geller : I had a problem. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages! Joey Tribbiani : Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. You really think I'm ready? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Cool! Joey Tribbiani : Was the chord at least right... Phoebe Buffay : No!", "summary": "Ross has a problem and seeks Elizabeth's help. Joey apologizes to Phoebe for insulting her method and asks to be her student again. Phoebe agrees but only after Joey promises not to touch a guitar until she says he's ready."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : We heard about your pants, I'm so sorry. Ross Geller : This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit! #ALL# : No. No, you're not a loser. Ross Geller : Look at me! Monica Geller : Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! Huh? You're-you're a cowboy! Ross Geller : Oh, be-because of the leather pants. Monica Geller : See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : That really is something; that's really cool.", "summary": "Ross wears inappropriate pants on day 2 of the year, leading to embarrassment and shame. Ben draws a picture of Ross as a cowboy, which cheers him up."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Howdy partner! Ross Geller : Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. I would make a good cowboy. Monica Geller : Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, me too. Y'know if this shirt is dirty. Yep. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended. Rachel Green : Good luck, honey! Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Rachel Green : Hey, uh, Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Umm? Rachel Green : Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?", "summary": "The group is wrapping up at Monica's apartment when Joey mentions wanting to be a cowboy. Ross sees a pair of boots he likes and considers getting another pair. Rachel tries to remind Joey of something important, but he forgets what it is. Meanwhile, Phoebe plans to go to the airport in hopes of finding an unattended plane."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no! Rachel Green : I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right? Joey Tribbiani : Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah! Rachel Green : Yeah. Well. Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me? Joey Tribbiani : Now? You want me to go over there now? Rachel Green : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Do you know something? Rachel Green : Do you know something? Joey Tribbiani : I might know something. Rachel Green : I might know something too.", "summary": "Joey and Rachel discuss a secret while trying to figure out how to get a book back from Chandler that he borrowed from Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What's the thing you know? Rachel Green : Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know. Joey Tribbiani : I can't tell you what I know. Rachel Green : Well then I can't tell you what I know. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, fine. Joey Tribbiani : You don't know! Rachel Green : All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! Joey Tribbiani : YOU KNOW!!!! Rachel Green : AND YOU KNOW!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know!!!!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey engage in a game of \"What's the thing you know?\" where they try to guess what each other knows. The conversation escalates as they continue to try to outdo each other, leading to a comedic exchange of \"YOU KNOW\"s."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known? Joey Tribbiani : Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain. Rachel Green : Ohhh, yeah, me too. Phoebe Buffay : That's weird. I bet they're doing it. Chandler Bing : Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! Rachel Green : Come on Joey!!! Joey Tribbiani : Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are having an affair."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I can't believe you would say that! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love. Rachel Green : No! I mean come on! This is a huge deal! Fine I want-I need more details, who-who initiated the first kiss? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Rachel Green : Is he romantic with her? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Rachel Green : Are they in love? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Rachel Green : You don't know anything. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, I know one thing!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are making love."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : They did it right there on the couch. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey-yeah. Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily! #ALL# : What? Oh! Chandler Bing : Sorry man. Gunther : Here's your scone. Ross Geller : Oh, thanks Gunther. STUPID BRITISH SNACK FOOD!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : Did they teach you that in your anger management class?", "summary": "Rachel discovers that Joey and his ex-wife Emily got married again without telling her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase? Rachel Green : Pheebs, I don't think anyone's mad about that. Phoebe Buffay : Exactly! Because it's in the past! Joey Tribbiani : Anybody gonna eat that? Monica Geller : Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating? Chandler Bing : Oh, we had a lot of liquor left over from the Christmas party. Monica Geller : I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide. Chandler Bing : I know, I can do this. Monica Geller : Ooh, and I can do this. Both : We can't do that.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends celebrate an office party while dealing with past events (Louisiana Purchase). Phoebe suggests they shouldn't be mad about the past, and Joey offers food for everyone. Monica and Chandler dress up for the occasion and express their desire to be a \"real couple\" without hiding."}
-{"dialogues": "Doug : Hey Bing! Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you? Chandler Bing : I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, this is Monica. This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica. Monica Geller : Hi, nice to meet you! Doug : Hi! And this is my wife Kara. Kara : Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! Doug : Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us? Chandler Bing : No, sir. Doug : Yeah, Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. Doug : Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. Monica Geller : What was that?", "summary": "Monica meets Chandler's boss, Doug, at his office. Chandler introduces her to his wife Kara. They discuss a new law firm they are working with called Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. The conversation turns to drinking."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : That noise you just made? Chandler Bing : Oh, that was my work laugh. Monica Geller : Really? Your work laugh? Chandler Bing : Oh, believe me, to survive this party, you're gonna have to come up with one too. Monica Geller : All right, check me out. Chandler Bing : Okay. Doug : ...says $30 Father; same as in town. Chandler Bing : Hey! Everybody at work loved you last night! Monica Geller : Really?", "summary": "Chandler makes a noise at Monica's party and claims it was his \"work laugh.\" Monica challenges him to come up with one too. Doug mentions something about a $30 father, and Chandler exclaims that everyone at work loved him last night."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet. Monica Geller : Hey, I thought you already had one. Chandler Bing : Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at...bigger rocks. Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet? Rachel Green : Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back. Chandler Bing : Okay, good luck with that. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : What's up?! Monica Geller : What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day. Rachel Green : Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?", "summary": "Chandler and Rachel can't find tennis racquets, Chandler's was lost due to Joey's antics in Central Park, Rachel lent hers to Joey but never got it back. Monica joins the conversation and asks what they are doing. Rachel takes a long lunch to spend time with Monica, indicating that they don't talk as much as they used to."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Uhh, not much. Uh, work's good. Rachel Green : Oh y'know what, we don't have to talk about work. We can talk about anything! Monica Geller : Okay. Umm... Rachel Green : Hey! Y'know what? Let's talk about relationships! Monica Geller : Okay, what's going on with you? Rachel Green : Nothing! You go! Monica Geller : Well, I-I-there was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore. Rachel Green : Wow that's uh, juicy. Umm, y'know what though Mon, I actually do have a lot of work to do so if-if-are you sure there's just not anything else? Monica Geller : Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about? Rachel Green : No! If there was I wouldn't tell you.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss relationships, with Monica revealing a crush on a guy at the bank but losing interest."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then what happened? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You'll get your turn! Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing! This is not over! Ross Geller : No! No! No! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in... Actually, thanks! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies? Ross Geller : Uh actually, I think I'm gonna skip it. Joey Tribbiani : Really?", "summary": "Ross writes a nasty letter to Emily but accidentally gets it covered in food. Phoebe and Joey are going to the movies, but Ross decides to skip it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff. Ross Geller : That's okay, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : All right, let's go Pheebs. Ross Geller : Oh God! Doug : Bing! Kara : Oww!! Monica Geller : Game! Doug : Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. Are you all right sweethart? Kara : I'm not all right.", "summary": "Ross wants to be alone and read his book, but Joey tries to convince him to come with him. They are interrupted by Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan delivering mail, and Ross expresses dismay. Meanwhile, Monica and Doug are playing a game and Monica's partner Kara gets hurt."}
-{"dialogues": "Doug : We're, we're just gonna get a little sip of water. Monica Geller : Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved! Chandler Bing : Okay, easy Martina. I think we should let them win the next game. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said. Chandler Bing : Let them win one. Monica Geller : Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills. Chandler Bing : You're not even giving them a chance! Monica Geller : They have racquets don't they?! Doug : Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game. Chandler Bing : Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? Please let them win!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are playing tennis with Doug and Martina. Monica is confident they will win, but Chandler wants to let Martina's team win one game. Monica is resistant and thinks they should crush them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do. Chandler Bing : Oopsey, missed it! Monica Geller : I got it! Doug : Nice shot. Monica Geller : I got it!! Chandler Bing : Long! Monica Geller : I can't believe you let them win! Chandler Bing : Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. Monica Geller : I was frustrated. Chandler Bing : It was my racquet.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler play a game of tennis, with Monica ultimately winning. However, Chandler accidentally hits the ball into the net, allowing their opponents to score. Despite her frustration, Monica hides her feelings well and congratulates Chandler on a good shot."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I was frustrated with you! Chandler Bing : If we hadn't lost the game they never would've invented us to dinner tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Y'know what really bothers me? Is-it's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the \"I'll see you around, Bing!\" \"Not if I see you first, Doug!\" I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up. Chandler Bing : Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight. Monica Geller : I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe we should check the trash chute. Rachel Green : Ross couldn't fit down the trash chute. Joey Tribbiani : That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : There he is!", "summary": "Monica is frustrated with Chandler's behavior around their friends and thinks he's being fake. Chandler refuses to put out sexually after Monica accuses him of being a suck-up. The group discovers Joey stuck in the trash chute, which leads to a humorous exchange."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God! Where the hell have you been?!! Ross Geller : Just, y'know out. Rachel Green : Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there! Phoebe Buffay : What were you doing? Ross Geller : I uh, went to a bar. And then I just uh, just walked around for a while. Rachel Green : You walked around all night in the city by yourself? Joey Tribbiani : He hooked up! He hooked up with someone. Ross Geller : Look, I don't have to answer your questions! Okay? I'm a big boy, I can do whatever I want! Joey Tribbiani : He hooked up!! Tell us about her! Janice Litman Goralnik : Ross you left you scarf in... Hey you guys.", "summary": "Ross went out and hooked up with someone, but doesn't want to reveal who it was. Monica and Rachel are surprised and worried about him being alone in the city at night. Joey teases Ross about his hookup, while Janice enters the conversation unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever! Rachel Green : Yeah! No that's what I was thinking. Janice Litman Goralnik : So I'm asking you please, take a moment before you judge me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, nobody's judging you. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! Okay! You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! Ross Geller : Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say... Phoebe Buffay : You two will have very hairy children. Ross Geller : Okay, I didn't know you would say that. Rachel Green : Ross! Janice?! Joey Tribbiani : All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.", "summary": "Janice and Rachel are concerned about Chandler being in Yemen, while Phoebe and Joey try to distract them with their own thoughts. Ross joins in, but becomes fixated on the idea of Janice and hairy children."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids. Phoebe Buffay : So are you actually gonna see her again? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head! Ross Geller : I am gonna see her again. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit Phoebe!! Rachel Green : Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go! Monica Geller : My turn? What-what are you talking about? Rachel Green : Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler. Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, \"I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours.\" And he said, \"Laundry? Is that my new nickname?\" And you said, \"No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big.\"", "summary": "Ross sees an ex-wife in common with a new woman and might see her again; Rachel confesses about making out with someone in high school; Monica's affair with Chandler is revealed."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out. Rachel Green : Well, I wouldn't know because I got so freaked out that I hung up the phone. Monica Geller : Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big......ot. Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes. Rachel Green : All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler. Monica Geller : Me and Chandler?! Joey Tribbiani : All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. And they're off!", "summary": "Monica reveals she has a secret crush on Chandler, but he doesn't return her feelings. Rachel accidentally hangs up on Mr. Big after he tells racist jokes. Joey and Phoebe engage in a betting game to find a treat."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Get your foot off my contestant! Judge! Joey Tribbiani : Judge rules, no violation. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Ross Geller : Hey guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Are you serious?! Ross Geller : Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.", "summary": "Ross confides in Janice about his struggles, and Joey and Phoebe are involved in a confrontation involving a foot on a contestant."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We... Joey Tribbiani : And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter! Phoebe Buffay : No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton! Joey Tribbiani : Judge rules, Nutter-Butter. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, tough call. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Doug : But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. Kara : So how do you kids like your coffee? Monica Geller : Oh, none for me. Thanks. Chandler Bing : Just a little bit of sugar.", "summary": "Janice is not needed for a task, as Phoebe and Joey have it covered. The duck receives Nutter-Butter instead of an old Wonton. There is a disagreement over the snack. Doug supports President Clinton and her husband Bill, while Kara asks about coffee preferences. Monica does not want any coffee, and Chandler adds a small amount of sugar to his."}
-{"dialogues": "Doug : Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? Monica Geller : How does that laugh not give you a headache? Chandler Bing : Oh, you get used to it. Monica Geller : Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things. Chandler Bing : So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal? Monica Geller : I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect. Chandler Bing : Oh. Doug : Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. Did you hear what I said Bing? Chandler Bing : What? Doug : The joke Bing. What's the matter with you?", "summary": "Monica Geller is uncomfortable with Chandler Bing's job at their workplace and prefers to spend time with her boyfriend who she respects. Doug makes an insensitive comment about Kara's coffee, which Chandler responds to by making a joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, I-I just didn't think it was funny sir. Doug : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : Well, I just... Monica Geller : Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey? Chandler Bing : I think I do! Thank you, Monica. Monica Geller : I thought you could use the help. Chandler Bing : Coffee in a fight! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are discussing a joke that Doug made about Kara's coffee. Chandler didn't find it funny, and Monica explains that the joke was that Doug was implying that Kara's coffee was weak physically, not just in taste. Joey enters the conversation and asks if he can read his comic books in the room."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Sure! Why? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate. Rachel Green : What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now! Chandler Bing : All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?! Monica Geller : Sorry! I'm just-I'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel! Chandler Bing : But we're not ready to tell yet! Monica Geller : I know! It's just that...ever since high school Rachel was the one person I told everything too. Y'know? I miss that so much now. She's my best friend. Monica Geller : Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel! Rachel Green : Hey! Hi! Monica Geller : Wh-wh-what are you doing here?", "summary": "Rachel discovers that Monica and Chandler have been lying to her about working late and decides to confront them. Monica confesses that she misses being able to tell everything to Rachel, who was her best friend in high school. Joey becomes involved in the conversation and tries to help diffuse the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I was actually-I-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better. Monica Geller : Okay great! Rachel Green : Yeah! Monica Geller : Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it! Rachel Green : Oh! What a great way to earn some extra pocket money. Monica Geller : Y'know when I said to you earlier that I was at work umm, I'm at my new work. Rachel Green : That's good enough. Right? Okay, well umm, I'm gonna go look at my books! Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : I'll get back to my new job.", "summary": "Rachel wants to borrow a lamp and Monica is cleaning Chandler's room for pay. Monica lies about being at work, and Rachel agrees to look at her books."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : 'Kay. Congratulations on your new job. Chandler Bing : Man, she is really gullible. Gunther : Here you go. Ross Geller : Thanks! Janice Litman Goralnik : Actually, I should get going. Ross Geller : Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right? Janice Litman Goralnik : Yes! Yes! You did! Ross Geller : Oh... Janice Litman Goralnik : What is wrong now?! Ross Geller : This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then...", "summary": "Ross tries to impress Janice by staying out late, but she leaves early. Chandler teases Ross about being on sabbatical from work, which leads to a discussion about their personal lives."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffee-ahh!! Ross, we need to talk. Ross Geller : Okay. Sometimes I feel... Janice Litman Goralnik : No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun. Ross Geller : Huh? Janice Litman Goralnik : You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!! Ross Geller : Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well yeah!! Ross Geller : OH...MY...GOD!! Janice Litman Goralnik : Are you gonna be okay? Ross Geller : I am now.", "summary": "* Janice and Ross have a conversation about their lives, including losing their apartments, jobs, and ex-wives getting married quickly.\n* Janice becomes frustrated with Ross's whining and ends the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, hi. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. Ross Geller : Dude, we got to talk. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. What you're-you're not mad? Chandler Bing : Why would I be mad? Ross Geller : Well, because y'know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your uh, friend's ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to. Chandler Bing : I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you. Ross Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Ross has a confession to make about his past relationship with Janice, which leads to Chandler's anger and forgiveness."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free! Ross Geller : All right. Chandler Bing : And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it down-let's write it down! Monica Geller : I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica! Chandler Bing : Oh! Look at that, time's up! My turn! Monica Geller : That was a half an hour? Chandler Bing : It's your timer. Monica Geller : Y'know, I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages! Chandler Bing : All right, then massage me up right nice! Chandler Bing : Ah! Ahh!! Ahh!!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over rent, with Chandler offering to write it down. Monica joins in, expressing surprise that they've never done this before. Chandler offers to let Monica massage him, leading to a comedic exchange."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's so good, isn't it? Chandler Bing : It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it! Monica Geller : Say good-bye to sore muscles! Chandler Bing : Good-bye muscles!! Chandler Bing : I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I just-I didn't know what it was! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her. Chandler Bing : Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth. Ross Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! Ross Geller : Sorry.", "summary": "Monica gives Chandler a massage that is so good he can't believe it. He says goodbye to sore muscles and complains about Joey's mediocre massages. Joey advises him to tell the truth, but Chandler is in a new relationship and doesn't want to ruin it by being honest."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And the bunny got away. Ross Geller : This would be the place where you explain the hat. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff. Chandler Bing : And you're gonna make them all disappear. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this. Chandler Bing : Done. Rachel Green : Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Thanks, Rach! Rachel Green : Sure! God, please take those off! Joey Tribbiani : All right.", "summary": "The gang auditions for a play, with Joey vying for the role of a suave international guy. Chandler makes everyone's clothes disappear, while Rachel offers to help Joey look good by taking off his ridiculous outfit."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, how's it going? Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Is everything okay? Joey Tribbiani : Are you all right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! Sorry! Phoebe Buffay : It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit. Rachel Green : Well maybe, maybe she's with us right now?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe returns from the hospital and reveals that her grandmother passed away. The group tries to comfort her, but Phoebe insists everything is okay and that her grandma had a great life. They discuss the possibility of her grandma being with them still, but Rachel suggests she might be with them in spirit."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse! Monica Geller : Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside. Ross Geller : Uhh, Pheebs' Grandmother just died. Monica Geller : Ohh my God, I'm so sorry. Phoebe Buffay : It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins. Monica Geller : Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die? Phoebe Buffay : Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, I'm so sorry. Phoebe Buffay : It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; \"Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter.\" And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter. Rachel Green : Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?", "summary": "Grandmother dies, then Pheebs sees two people having sex in a car. Pheebe finds it cool, but others are less enthused. Pheebe's grandmother died while bending down to get yogurt in a market, and her last words were to meet at the checkout counter."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then. Rachel Green : Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Really? A purse? Rachel Green : It's not a purse! It's a shoulder bag. Joey Tribbiani : It looks like a women's purse. Rachel Green : No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. See look, men, carrying the bag. Joey Tribbiani : See look, women, carrying the bag. But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man. Rachel Green : Exactly! Unisex! Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago. Rachel Green : No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around a purse that both Joey and Rachel want to use. They argue over whether it's a women's purse or not, with Rachel insisting it's unisex. Joey makes a suggestive comment about sex, which Rachel rejects."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, I ain't gonna say no to that. Ursula Buffay : Who is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's Phoebe. Ursula Buffay : Oh great! Oh, you. Umm, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in? Ursula Buffay : Umm, yeah-no thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well, umm Grandma died. Ursula Buffay : Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago? Phoebe Buffay : No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow. Ursula Buffay : Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay tells Ursula Buffay that her grandmother has died and they will be holding a memorial service the next day. Ursula replies that she already attended the funeral five years ago."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No you didn't! Ursula Buffay : Well, then who's been dead for five years? Phoebe Buffay : Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not? Ursula Buffay : Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So... I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. Ursula Buffay : Thanks! Enjoy your funeral. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Chandler Bing : Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani! Joey Tribbiani : What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around Phoebe Buffay's announcement that her mother has been dead for five years, and Ursula Buffay's confusion and disbelief. Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing join in, with Joey showing off his new man bag and Chandler making a comment about Mrs. Tribbiani looking like her son."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Your make-up! Rachel Green : Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. Rachel Green : Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it. Joey Tribbiani : Why would I return it? I love this bag! Rachel Green : All right, then you owe me $350. Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? Rachel Green : Joey... Joey Tribbiani : All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you. Ross Geller : What's the part, Anti-man?", "summary": "Joey tries to eat a sandwich during an audition, Rachel tries to stop him but he insists it's \"sandwich time,\" and they argue about money."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey, don't listen to them. I think it's sexy. Joey Tribbiani : U-N-I-sexy? Phoebe Buffay : Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on. Rachel Green : Hi sweetie! Ross Geller : Hey, how are you holding up? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs, I'm so sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag! Joey Tribbiani : Here, I brought you some flowers. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Chandler Bing : Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.", "summary": "Rachel thinks something is sexy, Joey misunderstands, and Phoebe introduces Mrs. Penella to Reverend Pong. Ross checks in on Rachel, Joey apologizes to Phoebe, and Chandler makes a comment about the bag."}
-{"dialogues": "Man : Oops, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Is this the umm, the memorial? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, welcome. Man : Hello. Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Umm here's your 3-D glasses. Man : Oh, umm, all right. Phoebe Buffay : So how did you know Francis? Man : Well I actually, I-I really, I haven't seen her for years. But umm, well I-I was pretty tight with-with her and her daughter. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! What's your name? Man : Umm, Frank Buffay. Frank Buffay Sr. : Y'know what? Strike that. My name uh, actually is-is Joe. Uh, Joe umm, Hill.", "summary": "The conversation takes place at a memorial for someone named Francis, and two people are speaking: Man and Phoebe Buffay. The Man apologizes for something and asks if he is in the right place, and Phoebe confirms that he is. They exchange some small talk before the Man reveals that he used to be close friends with Francis and her daughter. However, he then quickly corrects himself and says his name is actually Joe Hill."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You're Frank Buffay? Frank Buffay Sr. : Shh! No! Joe Hill! Phoebe Buffay : You just said... Frank Buffay Sr. : Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. Phoebe Buffay : But... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : What?! What honey? Ross Geller : What happened? Phoebe Buffay : That was my dad! Chandler Bing : Oh my God!", "summary": "Frank Buffay Sr. tries to deny being Frank Buffay, but Phoebe Buffay reveals that he is her father. He quickly leaves before she can ask him any questions."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. It's like it's coming right at me. Monica Geller : Oh, did you catch him?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Wh-what did he say?! Phoebe Buffay : He said, \"Nice to meet you Glenda.\" Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name? Rachel Green : Why?! Why not?! Phoebe Buffay : Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned! Joey Tribbiani : What did you say to him? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later. The Pastor : Could everyone please take their seats?", "summary": "* Joey encounters a man he believes is his father\n* Monica tries to get more information from Joey about the man\n* Phoebe lies to the man and tells him her name is Glenda\n* Ross is shocked by the revelation\n* Rachel expresses confusion over why Phoebe wouldn't give the man her real name\n* Joey and Phoebe plan to meet with the man at a coffee house later."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : All right, let's go say good-bye. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look? Rachel Green : Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part. Chandler Bing : And a date with a man! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, comes with a bag! Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad. Rachel Green : Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel say goodbye to their grandmother, while Joey prepares for an audition with a new bag. Chandler makes fun of Joey's bag, but Joey defends it. Phoebe decides to go talk to her father, who she hasn't seen in years."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, \"Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!\" I kinda scared myself. Monica Geller : Well, at least you scared someone. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?! Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone! Monica Geller : I give good massages! I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! Phoebe Buffay : He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!", "summary": "Ross Geller is angry at a man who abandoned his mother, and he expresses this anger by threatening violence. Monica Geller offers to help Phoebe Buffay relax, but instead of massaging her, she accidentally slaps her. Phoebe Buffay is upset and tells Monica Geller that as a masseuse and a human being, she cannot tolerate such treatment."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No he's not! Chandler Bing : Yes, he is! Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry but, ow-owww-owww! Monica Geller : You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that. Ross Geller : Well, maybe he just didn't want to hurt your feelings. Monica Geller : But the minute we start to lie to each other... And by 'we' I mean society. The Casting Director : Any time you're ready, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink. The Casting Director : I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?", "summary": "Monica discovers that Chandler has been lying to her, and she is hurt and betrayed. Ross tries to defend Chandler's actions, but Monica is unsure if she can trust him anymore. Meanwhile, Joey tries to hit on a new casting director."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure. Well, you must be new here. Maybe we should-I'm sorry, can I ask you something? The Casting Director : Sure. What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, first it's not a purse. The Casting Director : Okay, anytime. Joey Tribbiani : I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag! The Casting Director : Okayyyy! Anddd, go! Joey Tribbiani : All right look, let me show you the catalog! See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them! The Casting Director : Umm, do you sell these bags? Joey Tribbiani : Noooo. No-no-no, these babies sell themselves. The Casting Director : Okay! Thank you! That was great!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a character named Joey Tribbiani trying to explain what a product is not, despite the Casting Director's confusion. Joey shows the Casting Director a catalog of the product and explains that it's not just for women but for men, women, and children as well. The Casting Director thanks Joey for his explanation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah but I didn't read anything. The Casting Director : I think we've seen enough! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! All right, I'll see ya. We got it! We got it! Chandler Bing : Hey, is Rachel here? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. Y'know? I-I really like 'em. Monica Geller : Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell me-just say, \"I don't like your massages.\" Chandler Bing : I don't like your massages. Monica Geller : See? It's no big deal. Chandler Bing : Okay, but now see you're crying!", "summary": "Joey didn't read anything for the audition, and the Casting Director is ready to move on. Chandler apologizes to Monica for his behavior earlier, and she appreciates his honesty but wishes he had just said so sooner."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages. Chandler Bing : It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You don't know me at all! Chandler Bing : Okay, you give the worst massages in the world. Monica Geller : I'm crying here!! Chandler Bing : Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, \"Who's the best of that?\" They'd have to go to you. Monica Geller : Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that? Chandler Bing : Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!", "summary": "Monica Geller is upset about something that happened at work, and Chandler Bing tries to comfort her. He tells her that she doesn't have to be good at everything, but Monica is still upset and insists that Chandler doesn't understand her. Chandler then tells her that if there were an award for the best bad massages, she would win hands down."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica? Chandler Bing : Absolutely! Monica Geller : Okay. I suck! Chandler Bing : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, thank you for meeting with me. Frank Buffay Sr. : Thank you. All right. Phoebe Buffay : Come, sit. Sit. Sit! Umm, all righty, before we get started I just-I need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay. Frank Buffay Sr. : Oh yes. Yes, yes, I am, uh-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Frank Buffay Sr. : So, what did Francis leave me?", "summary": "Monica suggests naming an award after her, Chandler agrees. Phoebe meets with Frank Buffay Sr., who is unsure of his inheritance."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Frank Buffay Sr. : Well, that's why you wanted me to come, right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes. Yes. Yeah-no. She did. She left you umm, this lipstick. Frank Buffay Sr. : Oh. Huh. It's huh, well it's oh it's-ew used. Umm, cool. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct? Frank Buffay Sr. : Yes, yes I was. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children? Frank Buffay Sr. : It really says that?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. See? Frank Buffay Sr. : Well then I guess then I-I would I would have to say C.", "summary": "Frank Buffay Sr. and Phoebe Buffay discuss his marriage to Lily, which ended in abandonment and the loss of their two children."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man? Frank Buffay Sr. : Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. But umm... Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Frank Buffay Sr. : Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please? Phoebe Buffay : But you-you-you came to see Lilly? Frank Buffay Sr. : Yeah, yeah. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Lilly's dead. Frank Buffay Sr. : She what?! Phoebe Buffay : She's dead. Frank Buffay Sr. : Are you sure?", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nFrank Buffay Sr. and Phoebe Buffay have a conversation about why he abandoned Lilly, with Frank claiming it was for top secret government work, amnesia, or being a selfish person. However, Phoebe reveals that Lilly has passed away, which comes as a shock to Frank."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake. Frank Buffay Sr. : I can't believe this. I just-I can't believe this. How-how-Oh my God. How long ago? Phoebe Buffay : 17 years ago. Frank Buffay Sr. : Oh! What about, what about the girls? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, is on this couch. Phoebe Buffay : Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you! Frank Buffay Sr. : Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, Oops. I just, I-I-I-I don't, I don't know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty. Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there. Frank Buffay Sr. : So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, it doesn't matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Frank Buffay Sr.'s shocking discovery that his daughter Phoebe is actually his daughter, 17 years after he left her and her mother. Phoebe reveals that Ursula, another character from the show, is now a waitress living in Soho, while Phoebe herself is sitting on the couch. Frank struggles to come to terms with this revelation and offers apologies for leaving Phoebe and her mother when she was younger. However, Phoebe dismisses his attempts at apology and tells him to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Sr. : All right. Well, y'know in my defense I was a lousy father. Phoebe Buffay : That's a defense? Frank Buffay Sr. : Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more! Phoebe Buffay : You make up songs? Frank Buffay Sr. : Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. Frank Buffay Sr. : I just, I y'know, I'm not very good at this. So, umm... Phoebe Buffay : Well, I am. Phoebe Buffay : Not yet, no. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. #ALL# : Hey!", "summary": "Frank Buffay Sr. was a bad father who burned his daughter's formula and put her diapers on backwards. He also made up a song to sing her to sleep but it made her cry even more. Phoebe Buffay is not impressed with her father's parenting skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey man, how did the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Estelle said I didn't get it. Rachel Green : What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me. Ross Geller : What kind of problem? Joey Tribbiani : Well to tell you the truth, they uh, they had a problem with the bag! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Nooooo! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? It was a stupid play anyway! Monica Geller : Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.", "summary": "Joey auditions for a role but doesn't get it due to casting problems with his bag."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? Oh, you think I should give up the bag! Rachel Green : Honey wait, Joey, I'm sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it... Chandler Bing : Oh, hey! Rachel Green : ...I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe I'm hearing this! Rachel Green : Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldn't have a bag, I just-it's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, controversial. Chandler Bing : Yeah umm, they're called wallets. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes! Rachel Green : I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving. Ross Geller : Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled clothes.", "summary": "Joey refuses to give up his beloved bag, while Rachel and Chandler express concern over its controversial nature. Phoebe distracts with Ugly Naked Guy's moving boxes, while Ross notes that most of the labels are for clothes."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ohh, I'm gonna miss that big old squishy butt. Chandler Bing : And we're done with the chicken fried rice. Ross Geller : Hey! Hey! If he's moving, maybe I should try to get his place! #ALL# : Good idea! Yes! Ross Geller : It would be so cool to live across from you guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, yeah! Then we could do that telephone thing! Y'know, you have a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string! Chandler Bing : Or we can do the actual telephone thing. Ross Geller : Oh my God! I love this apartment! Isn't it perfect?! I can't believe I never realized how great it is! Rachel Green : Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man. Phoebe Buffay : It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are moving out, and Ross wants to take Chandler's apartment. Joey suggests they use a connecting can and string for a telephone thing. Chandler suggests doing the actual telephone thing instead. Phoebe is excited to apply for the apartment and beat Ross to it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ohh. Rachel Green : Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!! Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!! Rachel Green : OH MY GOD!!! Phoebe Buffay : OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!! Rachel Green : Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discover Chandler and Monica in a compromising position."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!! Rachel Green : I KNOW!! I KNOW!! I KNOW! Phoebe Buffay : YOU KNOW?!!! Rachel Green : Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!! Ross Geller : What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh!!! Rachel Green : HI!! Hi! Ross Geller : What?! What?! Rachel Green : Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment! Ross Geller : Actually, it looks really good.", "summary": "The friends are excitedly talking about something (presumably getting an apartment), but Phoebe and Rachel keep screaming and interrupting each other. Joey knows what's going on, but Ross doesn't."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Get in here!!! Phoebe Buffay : You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping or-Oh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp! Rachel Green : Uh-huh, doing it. Doing it. Phone doing it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh, I can't believe it! I mean I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Rachel Green : Joey! Come here! Come here! Joey Tribbiani : What? What? Rachel Green : Phoebe just found out about Monica and Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : You mean how they're friends and nothing more? Rachel Green : No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are having an affair."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over! Phoebe Buffay : Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own. Rachel Green : Wh-what do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do. Rachel Green : Ohhh, I-I would enjoy that! Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them. Rachel Green : Ehhh, no, I wanna do Phoebe's thing. Joey Tribbiani : I can't take any... Phoebe Buffay : No! You don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know!", "summary": "The group discovers that someone knows their secret and decides to play a prank on them by giving them laundry to do. However, Joey suggests telling them directly instead, which leads to a heated debate between Phoebe and Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Noo! I can't take any more secrets! I've got your secrets. I've got their secrets. I got secrets of my own y'know! Rachel Green : You don't have any secrets! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. Rachel Green : So umm, how-how are we gonna mess with them? Joey Tribbiani : Ugh. Phoebe Buffay : Well, you could use your position y'know as the roommate. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : And then. I would use y'know the strongest tool at my disposal. My sexuality. Chandler Bing : Hello children! #ALL# : Hey!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Rachel discover each other's secrets, while Phoebe and Chandler make a surprising revelation about their sexuality."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie. Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you! Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah the material feels so soft-hello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out? Chandler Bing : Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. Are you okay? Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you really wanna know, I'm-Oh! I can't tell you this. Chandler Bing : Phoebe, it's me. You can tell me anything. Phoebe Buffay : Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too. And the one person I want to the most. Chandler Bing : What's going on?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe and Chandler have a conversation in which they exchange pleasantries and make small talk, but Phoebe reveals that there is something she wants to tell Chandler but can't, and the one person she wants to tell it to the most."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don't even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffee-Oh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will. Monica Geller : You are so cute! How did you get to be so cute? Chandler Bing : Well, my Grandfather was Swedish and my Grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny. Monica Geller : Okay, now you're even cuter!! Chandler Bing : Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : The weirdest thing happened at the coffee house, I think, I think Phoebe was hitting on me. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Chandler Bing : I'm telling you I think Phoebe thinks I'm foxy. Monica Geller : That's not possible!", "summary": "Phoebe suspects she hasn't been with a guy in so long that she can't see the right person in front of her (sipping coffee). Monica finds Phoebe cute and asks how she became so adorable. Chandler reveals his grandparents were Swedish and a tiny bunny, making him even cuter. Monica agrees, and Chandler thinks Phoebe might be hitting on him at the coffee house."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ow! Monica Geller : I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way. Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know I-I can't hear that enough. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I think that you just misunderstood her. Chandler Bing : No, I didn't misunderstand, okay? She was all over me! She touched my bicep for crying out loud! Monica Geller : This bicep? Chandler Bing : Well it's not flexed right now! Rachel Green : Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us? Monica Geller : Uhh, y'know actually I was gonna do some laundry. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Phoebe thinks Chandler is charming in a non-sexual way, but Chandler misunderstands and gets defensive. Monica clarifies that Phoebe was just trying to be friendly, but Chandler still feels awkward about it. Meanwhile, Rachel invites Monica to join her for a movie, but Monica declines to do laundry instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey Chandler, wanna do it with me? Chandler Bing : Sure, I'll do it with ya. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay great, hold on a sec! Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks! Monica Geller : I mean I-I don't I think I have enough quarters. Phoebe Buffay : I have quarters! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet? Ross Geller : Well, I called over there and it turns out Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself and he's already had like a hundred applicants. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler want to do something together, Rachel joins in, Phoebe offers quarters, Ross has no word on the apartment, and Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it to other people."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to Monica Geller : Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it? Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : That new mountain bike? Ross Geller : No. Monica Geller : Well what did you send? Ross Geller : A basket of mini-muffins. Phoebe Buffay : But there's a whole table of mini-muffin baskets. Which one did you send? Ross Geller : The small one. Rachel Green : What?! You-you actually thought that basket was gonna get you the apartment?", "summary": "Ross tries to bribe Chandler with a mountain bike and Monica with a pinball machine, but he settles on sending a small basket of muffins. However, when Rachel discovers this, she is shocked and disbelieving that Ross thought a muffin basket would secure the apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day. Chandler Bing : Your work makes me sad. Ross Geller : Oh man! I want that place so much!! I was so sure that was gonna work! There's twelve bucks I'll never see again! Rachel Green : All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie. Monica Geller : Bye! #ALL# : Bye! Phoebe Buffay : Bye Chandler! I miss you already. Chandler Bing : Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!! Monica Geller : Actually, I did! Chandler Bing : Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss a basket of muffins that someone sent to their workplace, causing excitement. Rachel joins them and suggests they go see a movie. Monica and Phoebe bid each other farewell before Monica reveals that she saw Chandler pinching someone inappropriately. Chandler is skeptical about Rachel's belief that he is attracted to him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us! Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Monica Geller : Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it! Chandler Bing : Okay but what about y'know my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps-She knows! Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Phoebe knows about us! Joey Tribbiani : Well I didn't tell them! Monica Geller : Them?! Who's them? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discover that Phoebe knows about their secret relationship, and they try to come up with explanations for how she found out. Meanwhile, Joey denies telling her about their \"them.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell! Chandler Bing : Oh man! Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing! Monica Geller : Unless... Joey Tribbiani : No! Not unless! Look this must end now! Monica Geller : Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So... Chandler Bing : Ahh yes, the messers become the messies! Ross Geller : Noooo. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself!", "summary": "Monica and Joey discuss something they know but can't reveal due to a promise made. Chandler joins in and adds to the confusion. Meanwhile, Ross tries to move on from a past mistake, while Rachel comforts him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, why don't you just find another apartment? Ross Geller : Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one! Rachel Green : Y'know what you should do? Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear. Joey Tribbiani : I'm listening. Rachel Green : See? Ross Geller : That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline. Phoebe Buffay : He broke that. Ross Geller : Well, he had gravity boots.", "summary": "Ross tries to find a new apartment but can't find one that compares to his current one; Rachel suggests bonding with the landlord by finding out his hobbies and using them as conversation topics; Joey listens; Phoebe reveals that Ugly Naked Guy had various items in his apartment, including a trampoline and gravity boots."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, he broke those too. Joey Tribbiani : So he likes to break stuff. Ross Geller : Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. Hey, didn't he used to have a cat? Phoebe Buffay : I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, poor cat, never saw that big butt coming. Ross Geller : Right. Rachel Green : Hello! Oh yeah! Hey! Hold on a second she's right here! It's Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Oh? Hello you. Chandler Bing : Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. Phoebe Buffay : Eh?", "summary": "Ross has to pick up his son Ben but is distracted by Joey breaking things; Rachel returns and Chandler thinks about Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well you know that thing you said before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more. Phoebe Buffay : I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more! Rachel Green : Are you kidding?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel Green : I can not believe he would do that to Mon-Whoa! Joey, do they know that we know? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : They know you know.", "summary": "Chandler Bing expresses interest in Phoebe Buffay, who is hesitant but open to the idea. Joey Tribbiani overhears and becomes involved in the conversation, leading to a comedic exchange."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two! Phoebe Buffay : God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! Joey, you can't say anything! Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't even if I wanted too. Ross Geller : Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce but-I'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it. Phoebe Buffay : All right. All right! If he wants a date? He's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in. Rachel Green : All right. Be sexy. Phoebe Buffay : Please. Phoebe Buffay : So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight. Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Oh absolutely. Shall we say, around seven?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are upset about two people trying to mess with them. Joey can't say anything. Ross compliments a naked person. Phoebe offers herself on a date."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend! Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Oh my God! That is our friend! It's Naked Ross! #ALL# : Yeah, it is! Naked Ross!! Rachel Green : Show time! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Rachel, get me perfume! Rachel Green : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? Monica Geller : All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!", "summary": "Yes, Phoebe wants to have sex with Chandler. Joey sees Naked Ross and reacts excitedly. Rachel and Phoebe prepare for a surprise party. Monica tries to trick Rachel into thinking Joey wants to have sex with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with her? Monica Geller : Relax, she-she's gonna give in way before you do! Chandler Bing : How do you know?! Monica Geller : Because you're on my team! And my team always wins! Chandler Bing : At this?! Monica Geller : Just go get some! Go! Rachel Green : Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay? Whoa, wait! Phoebe Buffay : Good idea!", "summary": "Chandler tries to convince Monica that he will have to go far with a woman, but Monica disagrees and claims that Chandler's team always wins. Rachel joins in and starts listening from her seat, while Phoebe encourages her to try."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, oh wait! Phoebe Buffay : Oh now, don't give away the farm! Chandler Bing : Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Come on in. Phoebe Buffay : I was going too. Umm, I brought some wine. Would you like some? Chandler Bing : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : So, here we are. Nervous? Chandler Bing : Me? No. You? Phoebe Buffay : No, I want this to happen.", "summary": "Phoebe brings wine over to Chandler's and they discuss their nerves about something."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So do I. Chandler Bing : I'm gonna put on some music. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. Chandler Bing : You look good. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Y'know, that when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that sweater vest right off! Chandler Bing : Well, why don't we move this into the bedroom? Phoebe Buffay : Really? Chandler Bing : Oh, do you not want to? Phoebe Buffay : No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me. Chandler Bing : Well that would be nice. I'll go get the lotion.", "summary": "Chandler wants to put on music and dance with Phoebe, who suggests she might take off her clothes and let him rub lotion on her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her! Monica Geller : She's bluffing! Chandler Bing : Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! Phoebe Buffay : He's not backing down. He went to get lotion. Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair! Rachel Green : Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Rachel Green : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : I like that! Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! Phoebe Buffay : Joey! Wow, you didn't rip off any buttons.", "summary": "Phoebe tries to get Chandler to put lotion on her, but he refuses and she continues to pressure him. Monica doesn't believe Phoebe will follow through with the request, but Chandler ultimately gives in and gets lotion. Joey tries to intervene and make light of the situation, while Rachel suggests using bras as a means to scare Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It's not my first time. Monica Geller : You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks! Chandler Bing : Okay, give me a second! Did you clean up in here? Monica Geller : Of course. Chandler Bing : Oh, you're-you're going? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, not without you, lover. So, this is my bra. Chandler Bing : It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very were gonna be having all the sex. Phoebe Buffay : You should be. I'm very bendy. I'm gonna kiss you now. Chandler Bing : Not if I kiss you first. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh.", "summary": "Joey tries to seduce a woman, while Monica encourages him and Chandler tries to stop them. Phoebe joins in and they all engage in flirtatious banter until they start kissing each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss. Phoebe Buffay : Here it comes. Our first kiss. Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya! Phoebe Buffay : And why not?! Chandler Bing : Because I'm in love with Monica!! Phoebe Buffay : You're-you're what?! Chandler Bing : Love her! That's right, I...LOVE...HER!!! I love her!! I love you, Monica. Monica Geller : I love you too Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : I just-I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love! Joey Tribbiani : Dude!", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe share their first kiss, but Chandler reveals he is in love with Monica. Monica also confesses her feelings for Chandler, leaving Phoebe surprised and heartbroken."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. And might I say your breasts are still showing. Phoebe Buffay : God! Joey Tribbiani : All right! So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows! Monica Geller : Well actually, Ross doesn't. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet. Ross Geller : A new place for a new Ross. I'm gonna have you and all the guys from work over once it's y'know, furnished. Dr. Ledbetter : I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet. Ross Geller : Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me. Dr. Ledbetter : I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum? Ross Geller : Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. I-What? No! Wh... What are you doing?!! GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler try to keep Phoebe's breakup with David a secret from Ross, but Monica reveals it. Meanwhile, Dr. Ledbetter offers Ross a job at the museum again, which he happily accepts. However, things take a turn when Dr. Ledbetter tries to get on top of Ross's sister."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Chandler!!! Chandler!!! Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here! Chandler Bing : Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! Monica Geller : What are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm going on the lamb. Monica Geller : Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. Hold on! Hey Ross. What's up bro? Ross Geller : What the hell are doing?!! Rachel Green : Hey, what's-what's going on?! Chandler Bing : Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! He's right there! Ross Geller : I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!", "summary": "Ross sees Chandler with his sister and confronts him. Chandler admits to having a secret relationship with Monica and prepares to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her. Monica Geller : I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too. Ross Geller : My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news! Rachel Green : Awww, no, it's okay, we've actually known for a while. Ross Geller : What? What? What?! You guys knew? You all knew and you didn't tell me?!! Rachel Green : Well, Ross, we were worried about you. We didn't know how you were going to react. Ross Geller : You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister. Ross Geller : Hey, you know what I just realized? If you guys ever have kids... Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa! We're having kids?!", "summary": "Ross finds out that his best friend and sister, Monica, are in love with each other. Rachel and Joey are aware of their relationship but kept it a secret from Ross to avoid hurting him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I call Godfather! Ross Geller : You can't just call Godfather. Don't you think her brother should be Godfather? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, if you cared enough to call it first. Monica Geller : Guys, you're a few steps ahead of us. Chandler Bing : Yeah, big zero gravity moon steps. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, I just thought of the greatest wedding gift to get you. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I'll go in on that with you! I couldn't think of anything. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey Katie! Everyone, this is Katie. Katie : Hi!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses who should be the godfather of a new baby, with Ross and Monica arguing that it should be Joey since he called \"Godfather\" first. Phoebe suggests a unique wedding gift idea, while Rachel and Katie (a new character) enter the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : So, are you ready to go? Katie : Yeah, I just gotta run to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sure, right back there. Katie : Hey, where are we going to lunch? Joey Tribbiani : I was thinking Chinese food. Katie : Ohh, I love Chinese! How did you know I love Chinese?! Rachel Green : She is so cute! You could fit her right in your little pocket! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. I mean I like her a lot, and she's really nice, but... Monica Geller : But what?", "summary": "Katie and Joey are going out to lunch, with Katie needing to use the bathroom first. Rachel comments on how cute Katie is and how she could fit her in a pocket. Monica is curious about Joey's thoughts on Katie."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : She keeps punching me. Monica Geller : In that cute, little, sweet way she just did? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Okay? She-she-she's hurting me. Monica Geller : I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool? Chandler Bing : Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up. Rachel Green : Aww, Joey, come here. Look honey, I know this must be really, really difficult for you and I--Oh, I'm sorry. Am I hurting you? Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! I brought you some house warming gifts. Ross Geller : Aww. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Salt, so your life always has flavor.", "summary": "A little girl keeps punching Joey in a cute and sweet way, but he's hurting from her attacks. Monica suggests hiring a bodyguard, and Ross offers to help. Chandler and Rachel try to comfort Joey, but Phoebe provides him with salt for added flavor to his life."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Huh. Phoebe Buffay : Bread, so you never go hungry. Ross Geller : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : And a scented candle for the bathroom, because well, y'know. Ross Geller : Thanks. Thanks. And thanks again. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Guy : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Guy : Welcome to the building. I'm uh, Steve Sarah; I'm president of the tenants committee. Ross Geller : Oh hi! Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss getting bread to never go hungry and a scented candle for the bathroom. Steve, the president of the tenants committee, greets them in the building."}
-{"dialogues": "Steve Cera : Oh hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Mr. President. Steve Cera : I came to talk to you about Howard. Ross Geller : Howard? Steve Cera : Yeah, he's the handy man. He's gonna be retiring next week and everyone who lives here is kicking in a 100 bucks as a thank you for all the hard work type of thing. Ross Geller : Oh that's nice. Steve Cera : Yeah. So, do you want to give a check? Or... Ross Geller : Oh. Uhh... Steve Cera : Oh look, you don't have to give it too me right now! You can slip it under my door. Ross Geller : No-no, it's not that, it's just... I-I just moved in.", "summary": "Steve Cera and Phoebe Buffay speak with Ross Geller about Howard, the handyman who is retiring next week and will receive a thank-you gift from everyone in the building. Ross is hesitant to contribute to the gift, stating that he has just moved in."}
-{"dialogues": "Steve Cera : Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years. Ross Geller : Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes. Steve Cera : Oh, okay, I get it. Ross Geller : No wait, look. Look! I'm sorry, it's just I've never even met Howard. I-I mean I don't know Howard. Steve Cera : Howard's the handy man! Ross Geller : Yes but too me he's just, man. Steve Cera : Okay, fine, whatever. Welcome to the building. Ross Geller : Ugh, can you believe that guy! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I really like his glasses. Ross Geller : ...so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Ross Geller's negative experience with President Steve, who has accused him of being a cheapskate and caused the whole building to turn against him. In response, Ross plans to throw a party to prove that he is not a bad guy and to stand up for his principles."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sounds like a fun party. Rachel Green : Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that. Ross Geller : It doesn't matter! It's my principles! We're talking about my principles! Rachel Green : Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you. Ross Geller : Oh, they'll like me. Once they come to my awesome PAR-TAY! Okay, I gotta run. I gotta go get some nametags. Rachel Green : And that crazy party animal will be your brother-in-law. Chandler Bing : Very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you putting any ideas in her head. Rachel Green : Umm, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head. Chandler Bing : Wh-wh-why?! Rachel Green : Well, because she loves you and because you love her.", "summary": "Ross refuses to pay $100 for a party his neighbors are throwing for him, insisting it's about his principles. Meanwhile, Rachel suggests he should just pay the money to ensure his neighbors like him, and Chandler makes a joke about Monica having similar ideas."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean?! Rachel Green : Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica. Chandler Bing : I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! I'm right. I'm right. Am I right? Rachel Green : No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different. Chandler Bing : Okay. It's not different at all, is it? Rachel Green : Not unless different means the same. Katie : You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, breadstick fangs are always funny. Katie : No, you make them funny. You're the funny one! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.", "summary": "Monica is almost 30 and broke up with her boyfriend because he didn't want to have babies. Chandler is confused about who Monica is now that they started dating. Rachel agrees with Chandler but then realizes that it's not different at all. Joey tries to make a joke about breadstick fangs and ends up confessing his feelings to Katie, who likes him back."}
-{"dialogues": "Katie : Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! Monica Geller : Isn't this great? Chandler Bing : Hmm. Monica Geller : Couldn't you just stay like this forever? Chandler! Couldn't you just stay here forever? Chandler Bing : Yeah, here, somewhere else, y'know where-where ever. Monica Geller : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm cool. Casual. Monica Geller : What-what are you doing? Chandler Bing : I'm just hanging out. Y'know, having fun. Y'know with the girl that I'm seeing casually. Monica Geller : Man, I knew it! I knew you were going to do this!!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are having a conversation about their feelings towards each other, with Monica expressing frustration that Chandler is only paying attention to her when they are together casually."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What?! Monica Geller : Get all freaked out because everybody was talking and just joking around about marriage and stuff. Chandler Bing : Well, you do want all that stuff, right? Monica Geller : Oh and you know what I want! Chandler Bing : Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever! Monica Geller : I do not have baby fever! Chandler Bing : Oh please, you are obsessed with babies and-and marriage and everything that's related to babies and-and marriage! I've got an idea, why don't we turn down the heat on this pressure cooker?! Monica Geller : Have you lost your mind? Chandler, this isn't about me! This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap! Chandler Bing : Nah-uh! I know you! Okay? I know the thoughts that you have in the head--in your head! Monica Geller : You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a conversation about marriage and babies. Monica becomes frustrated with Chandler's resistance to committing to marriage and having children, while Chandler claims to know what is going on in Monica's head despite her denials. The conversation escalates into a heated argument, with Monica expressing her annoyance at Chandler's reluctance to take their relationship to the next level."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, I did not know that. Chandler Bing : It's gonna be okay, right? I mean she's not gonna leave me? This is, this is fixable. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, yeah, sure. Absolutely. Chandler Bing : By me? Ross Geller : Oh, no! Joey Tribbiani : No-no. Ross Geller : Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, big! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh, shht! The Misses. Monica Geller : Gunther, can I get a coffee to go?", "summary": "Chandler discovers his girlfriend might leave him and tries to fix the situation with help from Joey and Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Monica. Monica Geller : I'm still not done not wanting to talk to you. Chandler Bing : Just tell me what I need to do to make things right. Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again. Monica Geller : Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. Party Guests : Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!! Ross Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi Ross! Ross Geller : What are you doing?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue about their relationship. Monica is tired of being Chandler's \"relationship tutor\" and tells him to figure things out on his own. Meanwhile, other guests at the party are celebrating Howard's arrival."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out it's a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! Guest #1 : See ya Phoebe! Oh and hey, thanks for chipping in! Ross Geller : You chipped in?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, uh-huh, a 100 dollars. Ross Geller : Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but they didn't ask me! Y'know? This way I'm just y'know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be. Ross Geller : Yeah, but you're making me look bad! Phoebe Buffay : No I'm not. No! If anything I'm making you look better! They'll see you talking to me and that's--I'm a hit! Steve Cera : Oh hey, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe gives money to a party in honor of Howard despite Ross' objections."}
-{"dialogues": "Steve Cera : Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay, my bad. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Wow! You look, you look...big. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters? Rachel Green : Uhhh, yeah. But it's not obvious why. Joey Tribbiani : Well look, I'm breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love? Katie : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hiya! Rachel Green : Hey! Hey, cute jacket!", "summary": "Steve Cera suggests swapping apartments with Phoebe and Joey because they are more their \"type.\" Phoebe agrees, but Joey objects. Joey breaks up with Katie and wears extra sweaters for comfort. Rachel compliments his jacket."}
-{"dialogues": "Katie : Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! Rachel Green : Oh! Ow! Katie : Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, are too much! Rachel Green : Whoa! Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. Katie : Ohh, Joey has the nicest friends! Rachel Green : Ohh, and the nicest girlfriend! Katie : You're so sweet! Rachel Green : Ohh, you're so sweet! Katie : Oww!!!! Joey, she just kicked me. Joey Tribbiani : Huh.", "summary": "Katie and Rachel have a playful conversation with each other, with Katie thanking Rachel for something nice and Rachel responding with surprise and flattery. However, things take a turn when Katie gets kicked by Joey, who is mentioned in the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Katie : Well? Aren't you gonna do something? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh.... Katie : You'd better do something, or I'm gonna walk out that door right now! Well? Are you gonna? Joey Tribbiani : Nah. Ross Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : That's what I'm saying. Ross Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh. Ross Geller : Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go? Phoebe Buffay : No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something to eat! Okay?", "summary": "Katie confronts Joey about not doing anything, and Joey avoids her by saying he won't do anything. Ross tries to leave but Phoebe talks him into staying."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So uh, what did you tell them about me? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy. Ross Geller : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : But somehow you came off as the bad guy. Ross Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there. Ross Geller : Ohh, this cake is really good! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, see? Things are looking up already! Guest #2 : Oh my God! Someone cut Howard's cake! Who would do a think like that? Steve Cera : 3-B!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss their conversations with others about Ross, with Phoebe inadvertently portraying Ross as the \"bad guy.\""}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Oh yeah, aww! Steve Cera : Okay, you got your free food! You ruined everyone's fun! Don't you think it's time you went home?! Guest #3 : Yeah, leave! #ALL# : Yeah, get out! Now! Steve Cera : Go back to 3-B, 3-B! Phoebe Buffay : All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, \"Who hear likes Ross,\" and he's wearing two nametags! I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys Gold-digger, cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean. Phoebe Buffay : Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero. Ross Geller : Oh wow, yeah! See, I did not get that. Chandler Bing : Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here? Monica Geller : I'm Monica.", "summary": "Ross and Steve argue over food at a party. Guest #3 joins in and tells Ross to leave. Phoebe tries to defend Ross but is met with resistance from the group. She later admits that she didn't think they would start throwing things and only wanted to make Chandler look like the hero by insulting everyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I need to talk to you, it's urgent! Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, well I guess there's only one-one way to do this. Monica Geller : Wait what-wh-wh-what are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Monica... Monica Geller : No-no, don't-don't-don't do it! Chandler Bing : Will you marry me? Ross Geller : Oh-no. No. No. Joey Tribbiani : What a bad idea! Rachel Green : Ohhhh, I cannot look at it!", "summary": "Chandler proposes to Monica with an unexpected marriage proposal, which she rejects."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler, why are you doing this? Chandler Bing : I don't know. But I know I'm not afraid to do this. Monica Geller : Chandler. Chandler Bing : I'm doing this because I'm sorry? Monica Geller : Do you umm, you really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry? Chandler Bing : No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. Will you be my wife? Monica Geller : Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm kinda wishing everyone wasn't here right now. Monica Geller : Honey! Do you know that none of that stuff came from me?! I mean I never said I wanted to have babies and get married right now! Chandler Bing : Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys.", "summary": "Chandler proposes to Monica despite her initial hesitation and confusion about the reasons behind his decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Who? Two divorces and Joey?! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : She's right y'know. Ross Geller : Yeah, but still, cheap shot! Monica Geller : Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that. Chandler Bing : I didn't think I was! Monica Geller : Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes? Chandler Bing : Well I would've been happy because I would've be able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love. Or, you would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in that door. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife? Ross Geller : No, I will not!", "summary": "Monica wants Ross to deal with his relationship issues on his own, but he's not ready. Chandler reveals that if Monica had said yes, he would have been happy to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loves, or there would have been a \"Chandler-shaped hole\" in the door. Joey asks Ross for a knife."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it. Ross Geller : You're right, I'm sorry. Will you marry me? Phoebe Buffay : Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week. Rachel Green : Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler? Chandler Bing : Okay, how long is this going to go on. Monica Geller : Well I think the length of teasing is directly related to how insane you were so, a long time. Ross Geller : This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole \"We were on a break thing?\" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? Chandler Bing : That's not funny. Joey Tribbiani : That's not funny at all! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Ross proposes to Rachel, but she says no. Phoebe and Joey tease each other. Chandler gets annoyed. Monica suggests moving in together instead of getting married. Ross brings up their past break."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What are you guys doing up? Chandler Bing : Oh, we wanted to finish the crossword before we went to bed. Hey, do you know a six-letter word for red? Joey Tribbiani : Dark red. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. Hey, how about maroon? Monica Geller : Yes, you are so smart! Joey Tribbiani : Aww, you guys are so cute! Monica Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll see you in the morning.", "summary": "The group wants to finish a crossword puzzle before bedtime. Chandler provides incorrect answers, and Monica praises Joey for his attempts. They exchange flirtatious remarks before parting ways."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Y'know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you honey! Joey Tribbiani : Aww, me too. Now let's finish this and go to bed. Monica Geller : Okay! There's only one left, three letter word, not dog but... Joey Tribbiani : Cat. Monica Geller : Yes! You are so smart! I love you. Joey Tribbiani : I love you too. Rachel Green : Uhh, we still need a tip. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Hold on. I got it. Nickel! How much more do we need? Rachel Green : A couple of bucks.", "summary": "Monica and Joey complete a crossword puzzle together, with Monica expressing her love for doing them with Joey. Rachel and Phoebe join in and mention the need for a tip."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, dime! You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! Oh my God, this is a police badge! Monica Geller : Wow! Chandler Bing : Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that. Rachel Green : Phoebe, I bet somebody's missing that badge. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Joey! Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. That uh, that my sweatshirt?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group finds a police badge in Central Perk and wonders why a cop would be there. Phoebe thinks she might find her friend Fritzy on the Ten Most Wanted list at the police station."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, it's just that uh, y'know if-if you're gonna be wearing someone's sweatshirt shouldn't it be your boyfriends--and I'm not him. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you. Joey Tribbiani : No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica! Monica Geller : Are you saying I smell bad? Joey Tribbiani : No! No, you smell like a meadow. I'm sorry. Monica Geller : What's with him? Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter. Rachel Green : Ugh! Ross Geller : Yeah, I still don't know. I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, \"Kids welcome here.\" But that also says, \"Come here to me!\"", "summary": "Monica borrows Joey's sweatshirt and he makes a comment about it smelling like her. Monica is offended and they argue. Chandler and Rachel join in, with Chandler sharing a story about Joey visiting a meadow and his mother being shot by a hunter. Meanwhile, Ross is trying to decide on a couch for his new apartment and wants one that will welcome kids but also have a message of invitation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What?! You say that to kids?!! Ross Geller : No! No! No! The \"Come here to me\" is y'know for the ladies. Rachel Green : Ross, honey, it's a nice couch. It's not a magic couch. The Salesman : You picked a great couch. Ross Geller : Yeah? The Salesman : Yeah. Could you just sign right here please? Ross Geller : Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch! Rachel Green : Wait! No, that's ridiculous. Come on, he lives three blocks away! Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! All right Rach, let's go! Rachel Green : Yeah! Are you kiddin'?", "summary": "Ross tries to convince a salesman that \"Come here\" is for women, while Rachel and Ross argue over a couch delivery charge."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, come on it's only three blocks! And-and, it's not very heavy, try it! Come on! Come on! Rachel Green : Oh. Oh! I can do it! Ross Geller : Yeah! The Salesman : You two are really gonna enjoy that couch. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. The Salesman : Ohh, okay. Something didn't quite add up there. Rachel Green : Ross! Ross Geller : What's that supposed to mean? Rachel Green : Ross! The Salesman : Well you, her, I mean, she's very...y'know. And you're like...y'know.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel try to convince a salesman that they are a couple when purchasing a couch, but their attempts at hiding their true relationship fail."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out. The Salesman : Really? You two? Ross Geller : Yeah! Rach? Rachel Green : Come on, I don't really want to be doing this right now. I am carrying a very heavy couch. Ross Geller : Then tell him quickly. Rachel Green : Fine! We went out. Ross Geller : Not only did we go out, we did it 298 times! Rachel Green : Ross!! Oh my--ugh!! You kept count?! You are such a loser! Ross Geller : A loser you did it with 298 times! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oh! Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel went on 298 dates."}
-{"dialogues": "The Smoking Woman : Yes? Phoebe Buffay : You can't put your cigarette out on a tree! The Smoking Woman : Yeah I can, it worked real well. Phoebe Buffay : No but you shouldn't! Don't ever do that again. The Smoking Woman : I won't! Until I have my next cigarette. Phoebe Buffay : Hold it! N.Y.P.D! Freeze punk! The Smoking Woman : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's right you are so busted. Book 'em. The Smoking Woman : Who are you talking too? Phoebe Buffay : Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a woman named The Smoking Woman who puts out her cigarette on a tree, which Phoebe Buffay objects to. When Phoebe tries to stop her, The Smoking Woman becomes defensive and resistant, but eventually apologizes to the tree after being threatened with arrest by Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "The Smoking Woman : I am not going to apologize to a tree! Phoebe Buffay : You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. Backup! Backup!! The Smoking Woman : I-I'm sorry! Sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, cancel backup! Cancel backup! Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here? Ross Geller : Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go. Ross Geller : Okay, go left. Left! Left! Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? There is no more left, left! Ross Geller : Oh okay, lift it straight up over your head! Straight up over your head! You can do it! You can do it! Okay. You got it?", "summary": "The Smoking Woman refuses to apologize to a tree, and Phoebe demands that she do so or call for backup. The Smoking Woman reluctantly apologizes, and Ross tries to lead the group through a maze-like building but gets confused and gives conflicting directions."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Good-good-good. Rachel Green : Oh-oh! Ross Geller : Yeah, you got it right? You got it right? You got it? Rachel Green : Any chance you think the couch looks good there? Phoebe Buffay : ...so this guy was all And I'm all, Buffay, Homicide. It was just so cool! Monica Geller : Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back! Phoebe Buffay : I know but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds. Chandler Bing : Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested. Phoebe Buffay : You could get arrested, right now! All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have an argument over the couch. Phoebe joins in and they start talking about her recent experience impersonating a police officer. Monica tries to intervene but Phoebe continues to exaggerate her actions. Chandler reminds Phoebe that impersonating a police officer is illegal and she should take it back."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Oh. Chandler Bing : Hi, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I didn't know you guys were going to be here. Monica Geller : Hey Joey, sweetie, taste this. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Why?! Monica Geller : What is going on with you? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing! Chandler Bing : Oh, come on! You've been acting strange all day! Joey Tribbiani : All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, but I don't want to talk about it.", "summary": "Joey has a dream and doesn't want to talk about it. Monica offers him food, which he declines, and Chandler notices Joey acting strangely."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? I kinda have a dream! I don't want to talk about it. Joey Tribbiani : Well, it involved Monica. Chandler Bing : You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. Anyway we're talking about your dream. I love you. Your dream? Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it or anything. I haven't dreamt about her like that since I found out about you two--ish. Monica Geller : What was the dream about? Joey Tribbiani : Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out. Monica Geller : Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesn't mean that-that you're in love with me! Joey Tribbiani : It-it doesn't? Monica Geller : No! Chandler Bing : No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey has a dream about Monica, which leads to confusion and misunderstandings with Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That kinda sounds like your dream dude. Monica Geller : Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too. Joey Tribbiani : In the dream I did enjoy the closeness. Monica Geller : Um-hmm. Chandler Bing : Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her? Joey Tribbiani : Not really. Chandler Bing : Well there you have it! Monica Geller : Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend! Joey Tribbiani : No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have? Chandler Bing : Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey sees Monica and Chandler being close and intimate in a dream, which makes him question his own desires and relationships. He confides in Chandler, who suggests that maybe Joey wants to experience the closeness that Monica and he share."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Friends first? That's interesting. Monica Geller : You become friends after? Joey Tribbiani : No, never done that either. Rachel Green : Hey, umm, do you guys have that tape measure? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it's actually in my bedroom. Monica Geller : That's right. Rachel Green : What's up Joey? Joey Tribbiani : How you doin'? Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, is this your car? Guy : Yeah.", "summary": "Joey and Monica reveal they have never been friends before meeting each other. Rachel seeks a tape measure while Chandler lies that it's in his bedroom. Joey asks how everyone is doing. Phoebe finds someone's car."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well I don't think it's very nice of you to park here, y'know you're blocking the entrance. Guy : Don't worry about it. It's not a problem. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you 'cause I'm a cop. Guy : So am I! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, no. Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. Cop : Hey, wait a second! So wait, what precinct are you with? Phoebe Buffay : I-I'm with the umm, the 57th. Cop : Oh, I know a guy in homicide up there. Phoebe Buffay : I'm in vice. Yeah, in fact I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore. Cop : Who-who else is in vice up there?", "summary": "Phoebe and a cop have a conversation while parked near a building. Phoebe accuses the cop of blocking the entrance, but he assures her it's not a problem. They discover they are both cops, and Phoebe mentions she is undercover as a prostitute in Vice. The cop asks for more information about the department."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Umm, do you know, umm Sipowicz? Cop : Sipowicz? No, I don't think so. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, big guy, kinda bald. Cop : No, I don't know him. Phoebe Buffay : Don't try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died. Cop : Wow umm, tell Sipowicz I'm real sorry for his loss. Phoebe Buffay : I-I sure will, take care. Cop : Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. And where did you find my badge? Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Rachel Green : Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?", "summary": "Sipowicz's partner died, and Sipowicz himself is not there. A cop hears about it and expresses sympathy. The cop also talks about finding Sipowicz's badge and mentions a different detective who is good at his job."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, for you. Rachel Green : Thanks! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight. Rachel Green : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that's not such a bad situation they got going over there. I'm thinking of getting me one of those. Rachel Green : What's up Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great... Rachel Green : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : ...is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, \"Who are my friends?\" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So... Rachel Green : What are you saying?", "summary": "Joey wants to skip acting class for Rachel, but then talks about Monica and Chandler's relationship and how he wishes he had a similar connection with his friends (Rachel and Phoebe)."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch. Rachel Green : Y'know honey, umm, as uh, as flattered as I am that uh, you saw me first, uhh, I just, I-I don't think we should be cranking anything up. Joey Tribbiani : I'll treat you real nice. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, y'know umm... No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends! Joey Tribbiani : Won't-won't that take longer? Rachel Green : Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but once you find it, ohh it's so worth the wait. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I understand. I understand. Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first! Ross Geller : Come here to me. No-no, you come here to me. Rachel Green : Hey Ross! I brought reinforcements. Ross Geller : Oh great! What, you brought Joey?", "summary": "Joey tries to convince Rachel to go on a date with him, but she declines and suggests becoming friends first. Joey disagrees and wants to take things slower. Ross joins in and tries to mediate the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I brought the next best thing. Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so... Ross Geller : Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. Okay Rach, that's you. That's the couch. Rachel Green : Whoa-oh, what's-what's that? Ross Geller : Oh, that's me. Rachel Green : Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself. Ross Geller : No! That's-that's my arm! Chandler Bing : Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.", "summary": "Rachel brings a surprise guest, Chandler, to the group's meeting spot. Ross is shocked and jokes that Monica would be better. Chandler responds by saying he would be offended but Monica is strong. Ross shows a sketch of how they will carry out their plan. Rachel is impressed and teases Ross about his ego."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Y'know what? Just-just follow my lead. Rachel Green : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : Come on, Chandler. Ross Geller : All right. Okay, here we go! Ross Geller : All right, ready? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Turn. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : Turn! Turn!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler follow Ross's lead in a dance routine, but Chandler struggles to keep up."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, I don't think we can turn anymore! Rachel Green : Ross, I don't, I just don't think it's going to fit. Ross Geller : Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et! Chandler Bing : Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!! Ross Geller : Okay, I don't think it's going to pivot anymore. Chandler Bing : You think?! Ross Geller : All right, let's uh, let's bring it back down and-and try again. Chandler Bing : Okay, yeah, I think it's really stuck now. Ross Geller : I can't believe that didn't work! Rachel Green : I know, me neither! I mean, you had a sketch!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group tries to turn a car around in a small space but it keeps getting stuck. They try different methods to get it out but nothing works, leading to frustration and failure."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know, what did you mean when you said pivot? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! How's it going? Did you make any new friends? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. Chandler Bing : Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, well, she's...really good in bed. Monica Geller : Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first! Joey Tribbiani : Well look, hey, it's all your fault! Rachel Green : What?! Why?! Joey Tribbiani : Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! And her roommate!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey tries to pursue a new romantic interest but is unable to due to his own mistakes and misunderstandings."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What about the closeness? Joey Tribbiani : Closeness-shmoshness! There was three of us for crying out loud! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Hey, who wants pizza?! Chandler Bing : Ooh, I do! I do! I do! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor? Monica Geller : Who is it? Voice : N.Y.P.D!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, just a minute officer!! Cop : I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay!", "summary": "The group is discussing closeness and Chandler suggests getting pizza. Joey finds it on the second floor and Monica wonders who it is. An NYPD officer arrives looking for Phoebe Buffay."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, God, it's him! It's that cop! God, I can't believe it! He found me! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me. Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it! Cop : Yeah, but I kinda don't have a choice, it's my job. I mean, you understand right? Phoebe Buffay : Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool! Cop : I don't like looking foolish. Y'know what? Maybe uh, I don't arrest you today. Maybe I came by and you weren't here. Phoebe Buffay : I would love it if I weren't here! Cop : Okay, so since umm, you're not going to jail tonight I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me? Phoebe Buffay : Me?! Cop : Yeah. Ever since you flashed my badge at me, I kinda can't stop thinking about you. You're the prettiest, fake undercover whore I've ever seen.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Green are hiding a fugitive in their apartment when a police officer arrives looking for him. Phoebe threatens to take Rachel with her if she gets arrested, but the officer explains that he has to do his job. However, he then offers to take Phoebe out to dinner instead of arresting her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Nice! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I didn't see that coming! You're-you're asking me out! Cop : Yeah. I mean, I coulda done it better, but these people keep staring at me. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer... Cop : Gary. Phoebe Buffay : Gary. Gary : Okay, so it's a date. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! So--ooh, I gotta ask you though. How did you know where to find me? Gary : Well you're fingerprints were all over my badge so I just ran it through the computer and this was listed as your last known address so I just checked it out. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, impressive.", "summary": "Gary asks Phoebe out on a date after finding her address in his police badge."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Not as impressive as you. I gotta tell you, I looked at your record and you've done some pretty weird stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we'll talk at dinner. Gary : Okay. So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up? Phoebe Buffay : All right, I can't wait! Gary : Okay. And don't worry, I'm not just gonna take you out for donuts. Chandler Bing : He has a gun! Ross Geller : I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it. The Saleswoman : You wanna return this couch? It's cut in half! Ross Geller : That's what I'm telling you. The Saleswoman : Did you cut this couch in half?", "summary": "Gary and Phoebe have a conversation about their past actions, with Gary expressing disbelief at Phoebe's accomplishments and inviting her to dinner. Chandler reveals that Gary has a gun, and Ross returns a couch he is not satisfied with, only for the saleswoman to reveal that it has been cut in half."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half! The Saleswoman : You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?! Ross Geller : Look, I am a reasonable man. I will accept store credit. The Saleswoman : I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars. Ross Geller : I take it. Rachel Green : Good, you guys are all here! Ross Geller : Hey! What's up? Rachel Green : Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow! #ALL# : Congratulations! Ohh, that's great! Rachel Green : I know!", "summary": "Ross attempts to exchange a couch he received in two pieces with store credit, but the saleswoman offers only $4. Meanwhile, Rachel prepares for an interview at Ralph Lauren the next day."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Boy, that guy's underwear sucks! Rachel Green : Wh-what?! Joey Tribbiani : I got this pair marked excess, I gotta tell ya, there was no room for excess anything in there. Rachel Green : Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Well, if you nail the interview, you'll get it! Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : You wanna work on your interview skills? Rachel Green : O-okay! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! All right, let's start with the handshake. Hi. Rachel Green : Hi.", "summary": "Rachel Green interviews for a job as coordinator of a women's clothing collection, but her confidence takes a hit when Joey Tribbiani makes a crude remark about her potential boss's underwear. Phoebe Buffay tries to help Rachel prepare for the interview by practicing handshakes and interview skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Very good handshake, good wrist action. Monica Geller : Let me try. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! Monica Geller : Did I squeeze it too hard? Phoebe Buffay : Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, same as the day before. Monica Geller : Is he doing his shark attack bit yet? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Op, wait! There he goes. Joey Tribbiani : Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me. Monica Geller : Get in there man! Flirt back, mix it up!", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica engage in a handshake analysis, while Joey makes jokes about Ross's new apartment. Monica teases Joey about his shark impression, and Joey flirts with a hot girl in Ross's building."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. Okay, here goes. How you a-doin'? It worked! She's waving me over. Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor... Monica Geller : Wow! She is pretty, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Tell me about it, huh? Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! Ewwuck! Ross Geller : Hey Joey! Great stuff huh? Joey Tribbiani : This is your place? Ross Geller : Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. Joey Tribbiani : But I counted, you're not supposed to live here! Oh man! Joey Tribbiani : Ugh!! Monica Geller : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit.", "summary": "Joey goes to Monica's apartment but ends up at Ross's place by mistake. Monica is impressed by a girl on the third floor. Joey tries to flirt with her but accidentally says he's with someone else. Ross invites Joey inside and pretends to surf by the window."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV. Gary's Radio : We've lost visual contact with the suspect. Gary : Okay, now I've really have to go! Phoebe Buffay : But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk. Gary : I know, but it's my job, sweethart! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then maybe I can come too! Gary's Radio : Suspect has just emerged naked from the sewer. Phoebe Buffay : All right, you go. Gary : Bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : 'Kay, bye!", "summary": "Suspect emerges naked from sewer."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh God! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh I just miss him so much! Monica Geller : Wow! For just a week you guys are really close, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other. Monica Geller : I know it is the best. Phoebe Buffay : So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler? Monica Geller : What? It's still going on. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, seriously! When did it end? Monica Geller : I-I am serious, I mean, we're, we're all over each other all the time.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica discuss their past relationships, with Phoebe expressing her longing for a man she met for just a week, while Monica is still in a relationship with Chandler, which has been ongoing for years."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you know where you are better than I do. I was just curious. Monica Geller : What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why don't you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!! Phoebe Buffay : God, I woke the beast. Sorry. I was wrong obviously, I just-I misspoke. It's okay. Monica Geller : Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire! Chandler Bing : Hey Monica, here's your broom back. Monica Geller : You are so cute. Chandler Bing : Oh hey, how'd the interview go? Rachel Green : Ugh, horrible! I did the stupidest, most embarrassing thing! Joey Tribbiani : Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair? Rachel Green : No!", "summary": "Phoebe mistakenly claims that she and her boyfriend are the only hot couple in the group, leading Monica to correct her and emphasize that Chandler and she are also a fiery couple. Meanwhile, Rachel recounts an embarrassing interview experience where she didn't tell a potential employer that she wanted to sleep with his wife and fell out of her chair."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So what happened? Rachel Green : Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, \"Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!\" Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh! Joey Tribbiani : What happened? Rachel Green : All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me... Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh... Joey Tribbiani : You kissed him?! Rachel Green : Well, I didn't know what else to do! Chandler Bing : Well you coulda tried, not kissing him. Rachel Green : Thanks Chandler. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview! Rachel Green : I can't believe it! I got a second interview!", "summary": "Rachel had a terrible interview for a job at Ralph Lauren, despite making the interviewer laugh. She then kissed him by mistake when they were saying goodbye, and Joey was shocked. Rachel got a second interview, despite the awkward moment."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : I bet that kiss isn't looking like such a big mistake now, is it? Rachel Green : What-what, wait a minute, you don't think that's why he wants me back? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! No? Monica Geller : A kiss? What are you talking about? Rachel Green : I accidentally kissed him in the interview, and now he wants me back y'know of course, 'cause \"Let's bring the girl back who kisses everybody!\" Chandler Bing : Come on, Rach. Rachel Green : Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him? Monica Geller : He probably wants you back because you're right for the job. Rachel Green : Maybe. I-I don't know-Oh God, how could I be so stupid?!", "summary": "Rachel accidentally kisses her interview subject and he now wants her back. She worries that he thinks she's a girl who will sleep with him for the job. Monica believes he wants her back because she's qualified, not because of the kiss. Rachel is embarrassed and unsure about what to do."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. She's back! Hot girl's back! Rachel Green : Ohh, well I'm not totally back yet, but thank you. Joey Tribbiani : No, in Ross's building! She's back! She's back! Okay, wait there, I'll be over in a second. Got it! Chandler Bing : I gotta check out this hot girl! There she is! Joey Tribbiani : Damnit!! Did you move?! Ross Geller : Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. I'm Ross. The Old Man : Yes? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh do you happen to have a hot girl in there? The Old Man : No. I'm all alone. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Sorry about that. Oh, hey little girl. Uhh, is-is your mommy, or sister, or babysitter by any chance a hot girl?", "summary": "Joey spots Rachel returning to the building and exclaims that she's back. Chandler joins in on the excitement while Ross tries to move past his break-in. Joey becomes distracted when he realizes there may be a hot girl inside the building, but ultimately learns that there isn't one."}
-{"dialogues": "The Little Girl : Daddy!! Joey Tribbiani : Later! Oh man! Hot girl! Hot girl!! Mr. Zelner : Hi Rachel! Rachel Green : Hi! Mr. Zelner : Come on in. Mr. Zelner : It's really nice to see you again. Rachel Green : Thank you. Mr. Zelner : Oh Rachel, uhh... Rachel Green : What? Mr. Zelner : Just ah...", "summary": "The Little Girl excitedly calls out to her father, Daddy, while a man named Joey Tribbiani exclaims about a hot girl. Mr. Zelner greets Rachel Green and invites her inside, but stumbles over his words when speaking to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Excuse me? Mr. Zelner : Here let me... Rachel Green : Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I , hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. Rachel Green : Ugh, you will not believe what that sleaze-ball from Ralph Lauren did too me! Rachel Green : Okay-okay that-that's amazing. How did you know that? Ross Geller : You got ink on your lip. Rachel Green : Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh.... Chandler Bing : So what do you say, maybe sometime I hold your gun? Gary : I don't know man, we're really not supposed to do that. Chandler Bing : Oh, what can happen? I mean, would you...", "summary": "Rachel Green is confronted by her boss, Mr. Zelner, who accuses her of sleeping with him in order to get ahead. Rachel denies these claims and makes it clear that she does not want the job that badly. She then reveals that someone from Ralph Lauren also made inappropriate advances towards her. Ross Geller comments on the ink on her lip, leading to a discussion about Chandler Bing's possible intentions towards her."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Yeah, I'm gonna say no. Monica Geller : Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight? Phoebe Buffay : Oh we can't, we already have plans. Monica Geller : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie. Monica Geller : Oh, we're not seeing a movie! Phoebe Buffay : You're not? Then why did you ask us if we wanted to go? Monica Geller : Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler? Can I see you for a second?", "summary": "Monica wants to go see a movie with Phoebe after dinner but Phoebe has plans to hang out at Gary's apartment. Monica asks if they want to go see a movie and then awkwardly admits she just wanted to walk in on Chandler while he was having sex with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Uh, yeah. Monica Geller : Okay. We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.} Chandler Bing : Why? Monica Geller : 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are! Chandler Bing : Ohh, so? Monica Geller : So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong! Chandler Bing : Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat. Ross Geller : Hey! The Man : Excuse me. You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl. Ross Geller : Who isn't?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler compete with Gary and Phoebe in a sexual competition to prove their worth as a couple."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't, I don't think we've meet. I-I'm Ross. The Hot Girl : I know. You're the guy who wouldn't chip in for the handyman. Ross Geller : Nevermind! The Hot Girl : No, I-I actually thought it was unfair the way everyone reacted. I mean you had just moved in. Ross Geller : I had just moved in. Thank you! Listen umm... The Hot Girl : Jen. Ross Geller : Jen, I know this may sound a little... But uh, would you maybe wanna grab a cup of coffee sometime, or... Jen : Sure! That would be nice. Ross Geller : Umm? Jen : Oh! My number is on there. Give me a call.", "summary": "Ross and a new woman, Jen, meet and have a conversation. They discuss how others reacted to Ross moving in, with Jen defending him and Ross expressing gratitude. The conversation then turns to Jen offering to grab coffee with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I will give you a call. Jen : I'll see you later. Ross Geller : Okay! Jen : I forgot my paper. Chandler Bing : That was amazing! Monica Geller : Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner. Chandler Bing : That was amazing. Monica Geller : We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best. Chandler Bing : No, you're the best. Monica Geller : No, you're the best.", "summary": "Ross plans to call Jen, but she forgets her paper. Chandler thinks it's amazing, and Monica agrees, saying they are the hottest. They argue over who is the best."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, you're the best. Monica Geller : I am the best. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! What 'cha been doin'? Monica Geller : Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway. Monica Geller : Why? Joey Tribbiani : Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in some like of hot girl parallel universe, or something. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left! Joey Tribbiani : No. No. No. She lives on the third floor, eighth apartment from the left. Monica Geller : No, those first two windows, that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.", "summary": "Monica and Joey argue over the location of a girl's apartment, with Monica insisting it's on the second floor and Joey claiming it's on the third floor."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I did not know that! Thank you Monica. I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting. Ross Geller : So uhh, you ready? Jen : Sure, I'll just get my coat. Could you get that? Ross Geller : Sure. Joey... Joey Tribbiani : Dahhhhh!! No! Noooo!! Rachel Green : Ah, first, I-I would like to say thank you for agreeing to see me again. Mr. Zelner : That's quite all right, but I feel obligated to tell you that this meeting is being videotaped. Rachel Green : Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you. Mr. Zelner : Fair enough. Rachel Green : Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got courage, you got integrity, you got courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr...", "summary": "Rachel Green seeks a job with a new boss, Mr. Zelner, after being fired from her previous position. She apologizes for kissing him and yelling at him, but also shows courage, integrity, and the willingness to stand up for herself when she thought he was making sexual advances in the workplace."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Zelner : Zelner. Rachel Green : Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it. Mr. Zelner : Y'know what? I may regret this but uh, I'm going to give you a shot. Rachel Green : Oh! You are? Mr. Zelner : Um-hmm. Rachel Green : Really? Oh thank you! Oh... Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug? Mr. Zelner : Yes! Rachel Green : Okay, well then how about a handshake? Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch that-I mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you so-Hey! I'll see you Monday! Phoebe Buffay : You tired Chandler? Monica Geller : You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?", "summary": "Rachel Green interviews for a job with Mr. Zelner, who initially seems unimpressed but eventually offers her the position. Rachel is overjoyed and thanks him, but accidentally touches his hand in her excitement."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean. Gary : So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it's so cool. Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. That's pee-pee. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you have a, a twig in your hair. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here. Gary : Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so... Monica Geller : You didn't! Phoebe Buffay : We did! We violated Section 12 Paragraph 7 of the criminal code! Monica Geller : The park huh? A public place. Gary : Uh-huh.", "summary": "Chandler gets a cool badge from Gary, who then gets in trouble for kissing Phoebe in a public park after hours."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! Monica Geller : Hi Chandler. Chandler Bing : Monica! This is the Men's room! Isn't it? Monica Geller : Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you? Chandler Bing : No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous! Monica Geller : Come on, we can't let them win! Chandler Bing : Ugh, we have already proved that we are hot! Okay? So why-why are you getting so obsessed about this thing?! Monica Geller : Because Phoebe and Gary are in that-can't-keep-their-hands-off-each-other-doing-it-in-the-park phase! Chandler Bing : So? Monica Geller : I feel really sad that we're not...really there anymore.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are in a bathroom, where Monica finds the men's room to be sexually appealing. Chandler is uncomfortable with this and tries to change the subject, but Monica becomes obsessed with proving that they are still attracted to each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh wow! Is that what this all have been about? Monica Geller : Wasn't it a lot more exciting when we were y'know all over each other all the time? Chandler Bing : Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. Monica Geller : That is so sweet. I know that I was acting a little crazy but umm, I feel the same way. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship. Monica Geller : Did not.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica discuss their relationship, with Chandler expressing excitement about how far they've come and Monica revealing that she was acting crazy earlier."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes you did! Admit it! You freaked out! Monica Geller : Okay, I freaked out a little. Chandler Bing : Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! And now we're back. Rachel Green : I cannot believe Ross is buying this! Monica Geller : Thank God! I can't watch him anymore! Chandler Bing : You guys ready fore the movies? Rachel Green : Yeah! Oh by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine. Ross Geller : Man! They cannot get enough! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, pick a card. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica switch places in their relationship, with Chandler becoming the \"king\" and Monica the \"crazy, irrational screw-up.\" They then switch back to their original roles. Meanwhile, Rachel and Ross argue over Ross's decision to buy into a movie ticket scheme, while Joey selects a card from a deck."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right now, memorize it. You got it? Chandler Bing : Oh yes. Joey Tribbiani : Is that your card? Chandler Bing : Yes. Carol Willick : Hey guys! Ross Geller : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hi there! Ben Geller : Hi!! Carol Willick : Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial! Phoebe Buffay : What are you talking about?!", "summary": "Ben will appear on a television commercial."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! I mean, way to go Ben! Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition. Ross Geller : I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings... Joey Tribbiani : I'm always on the swings! What am I doing wrong?! Chandler Bing : That. Rachel Green : Okay, gotta go! Wish me luck! Joey Tribbiani : Luck! Chandler Bing : Hey Rach, now that you're working at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts? Rachel Green : Uh well, y'know what? I don't think if I feel comfortable stealing on my very first day... Chandler Bing : Unwilling to steal from work, interesting.", "summary": "Ben gets an audition for a commercial after meeting a casting director in the park who thought he was cute."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Besides, if anybody's gonna get free stuff, it's gonna be me. Rachel Green : Okay guys, way to wish me luck! #ALL# : Good luck! Go get 'em! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw a surprise party this weekend. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, but her birthday isn't like for another month. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah but if we throw her a party on her birthday, then it's not a surprise. Monica Geller : I think it's a great idea. Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends. Joey Tribbiani : Ross!! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!! Ross Geller : Okay!! Joey Tribbiani : Done.", "summary": "Rachel's birthday is coming up, and the gang decides to throw her a surprise party. They discuss how they will handle it without giving away the surprise."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, great so do you want to do it together? Monica Geller : I would love to do it together! Joey Tribbiani : They're gonna do it together. Chandler Bing : Dude! That's my girlfriend! Joey Tribbiani : What, so I gotta shut it down now? Ross Geller : All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition. Monica Geller : It's gonna be weird to watch some actor pretending to be Ben's dad. Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Weirder than watching his two moms make out? Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa dad? There's a dad in the commercial?", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica want to do something together, while Joey and Chandler are planning to watch an actor pretend to be Ben's dad. Ross is also heading to an audition with Ben."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather. Ross Geller : You're not his godfather. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Are you kidding?! Ross Geller : Of course I am! Okay, let's go godfather. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition! Ross Geller : Really? That's great! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her... Carol Willick : Hey, that kid looks familiar.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Ross and Joey discuss an audition for a movie where Joey wants to play the role of Ben's father, but they quickly discover that Joey is not Ben's godfather. Carol enters the scene and recognizes Joey from a previous play."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad.... Ross Geller : Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, Joey Tribbiani : That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad? Ross Geller : Joey, you look nothing like Ben. Joey Tribbiani : I look more like him than you do! Carol Willick : Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that. Kim : So it's down to these two, Nancy I know you like this one and I think I agree. Rachel, what do you think? Rachel Green : Well umm, that one is pretty but uh, I just, I just love this fabric Sorry. Kim : Oh don't be sorry, that's part of your job here to give your opinions and then I take credit for them--I'm kidding. Nancy : She is kidding, but don't ever disagree with her again. Okay, now I'm kidding!", "summary": "Ben is being auditioned for a commercial, and Joey wants to play his father. Ross doesn't think Joey looks like Ben and Kim has a preference between two candidates. Rachel is distracted by fabric."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, what a fun office. Kim : I don't know which one, but I do know I need a cigarette. So what do you say we take a break, we go outside, and we'll figure this out when we come back? Kim : Rachel? Do you smoke? Rachel Green : Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories......about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke. Rachel Green : ...and then they came back from smoking and they had made all of the decisions without me! Monica Geller : That doesn't seem fair. Rachel Green : I know! It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisoning habit! Chandler Bing : Yeah, it is the best. Rachel Green : I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson? Monica Geller : Rachel, you can go down there, you don't have to smoke. Just say you wanna get some fresh air.", "summary": "Rachel Green and her coworkers are having a conversation about smoking in the office. Kim suggests taking a break outside to figure out a decision, but Rachel reveals that she doesn't smoke due to her father's warnings about the dangers of smoking. Monica Geller expresses support for Rachel's decision not to smoke, and Chandler Bing jokes about the situation. The conversation then turns to the possibility of Kim promoting one of them, with Rachel worrying that she may be overlooked in favor of a smoker."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I can do that. Chandler Bing : Yeah, or you can do the easy thing and smoke. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach, you wanna get some coffee? Rachel Green : I would love to! Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I wanna go to babe. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, I change my mind! Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe decide to get coffee together, while Chandler suggests going to a bar."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, me too! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look at that. Monica Geller : All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food. Phoebe Buffay : What happened to the intimate dinner party? Monica Geller : Oh, we're not doing that. Okay... Phoebe Buffay : So wow, it looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot, co-host. Monica Geller : What?! I didn't take care of everything, there's-there's plenty of things for you to do! Phoebe Buffay : Like what? Monica Geller : Cups. Phoebe Buffay : Cups? You're giving me cups?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica and Phoebe plan a dinner party, but Monica abruptly changes the theme to Tuscan-style finger food and gives Phoebe tasks such as organizing CDs. Phoebe expresses disappointment at the change in plans and the lack of involvement from Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : And ice! Phoebe Buffay : Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice! Monica Geller : Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant... Phoebe Buffay : I got it! Mine! Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey! How'd the audition go?! Ross Geller : Not so good. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, are you doing Joey's \"Audition didn't go so well. Yeah it did?\" Ross Geller : Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe argue over who gets to be in charge of cups and ice at a restaurant. Ross goes on an audition but doesn't do well, and Joey teaches Ross his bit for a second audition."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You got a callback too didn't you? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I did! Kim : Hey Rachel, what are you doing out here? Rachel Green : Oh well, it's kinda lonely up there, so I just thought I would come out here and get some fresh air. Kim : Nancy and I were talking about the fall collection. Rachel Green : Oh great! Kim : So anyway we really... Honey, we're just smoking all over you. Nancy : Oh, sorry! Rachel Green : Oh that's okay. Kim : No-no-no, we'll move you just stay right there.", "summary": "Monica and Joey get callbacks for a play they auditioned for. Rachel goes outside to get fresh air but ends up feeling lonely. Kim and Nancy talk about the fall collection and accidentally insult Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Nancy : So anyway I sent the designs over to Ralph and he's very excited about the line. Kim : Oh that's great! You are the best! Rachel Green : Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? Y'know what, actually... Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here? Nancy : I thought you didn't smoke. Rachel Green : Oh, I thought you guys meant marijuana cigarettes, y'know? Y'know what I mean, like dubbies? And I actually, I thought to myself, \"Wow, those guys are crazy!\" But no, I actually smoke the regular ones all, all the time. Kim : We get high. Rachel Green : Oh, me too. Kim : I'm kidding. Rachel Green : Oh, me too. Ross Geller : Oh God, this is so nerve wracking! How-how do you do this?", "summary": "Nancy sent her designs to Ralph, who is excited about them. Kim congratulates Nancy and asks for a cigarette, mistaking their conversation. Rachel clarifies that they are not talking about marijuana cigarettes, but regular ones. Ross finds the situation nerve-wracking and wonders how they handle it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, unfortunately, I don't get many callbacks so... Carol Willick : Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition? Joey Tribbiani : Who knows? The Casting Director : Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much. Ross Geller : Yes!! I knew it!! Bye-bye! So long! Later! Joey Tribbiani : Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad! Ross Geller : Yeah! The Casting Director : Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two or you two. Joey Tribbiani : Man, this is gonna be kinda weird. Ross Geller : Yeah, it is.", "summary": "Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey are auditioning for a role in a play, but the casting director has narrowed down the options to just four candidates. Despite their initial excitement, they learn that they will be paired with different actors, with Joey potentially getting the chance to play Ben's father. However, the casting director reveals that this is not possible due to their different looks, and the two groups are left deciding which actor they want to work with."}
-{"dialogues": "Kyle : Yeah. It's gonna be weird. Ross Geller : No, we-we're gonna be like best friends, that's why it's gonna be weird. Kyle : Oh, oh, I thought we were just talking. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party? Chandler Bing : Ah sure. What's in 'em? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, cups. Chandler Bing : Oh good, because uh we got Rachel 800 gallons of water. Ross Geller : Seriously that's a lot of cups.", "summary": "Ross and Kyle are going to be roommates, which will be weird for both of them. Phoebe leaves some stuff at their place until Rachel's birthday party, and Chandler reveals that they bought 800 gallons of water for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice. Chandler Bing : Y'know I rued the day once...didn't get a whole lot else done. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. Oh, hi Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something. Ross Geller : What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition. Ross Geller : Wow, uh, Joey that's-that's great. Thanks man. Joey Tribbiani : That's it? You're-you're gonna let me do this?! This-this is my career we're talking about here!", "summary": "Joey decides not to audition for a commercial against Ben, citing the potential for bad outcomes."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, you just... Joey Tribbiani : I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben! Ross Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler! Tell 'em! Chandler Bing : Well I mean, let me get the door first. Oh, hi! No one. Ross Geller : Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad. Joey Tribbiani : At least I care about his feelings! Ross Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesn't get it? Ross Geller : And why wouldn't he get it?", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue over Ben auditioning for a role in a play, with Ross insisting that Ben should step aside due to his previous involvement in the audition process. Joey disagrees and claims that Ben should be given the role because of his potential feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do?! Huh?! I mean he dials phones! He-he-he eats tortilla chips! He-he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger! Ross Geller : Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid? Joey Tribbiani : You just give him a spoon baby! Ross Geller : Oh yeah? I guess we'll just see! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch! Ross Geller : You're kid's name is Raymond! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah?! So's yours! Monica Geller : How did work go? Rachel Green : Oh it was great! It was great! I went down there just like you said, y'know? And we talked business. Kim totally took my opinions. Monica Geller : You stink!", "summary": "Raymond (Joey Tribbiani's son) can dial phones and play soccer with a cartoon tiger. Ross Geller challenges Joey to see who's kid can eat soup better. Joey says the commercial belongs to him and Mitch. Monica asks Rachel how work went, and Rachel replies that it was great and that Kim took her opinions."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Thanks! Monica Geller : No, I'm-I'm serious! Rachel Green : Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success. Chandler Bing : Okay, there's something different though--Oh my God! You smoked! Rachel Green : I did not! Chandler Bing : Yes you did! You look happy and sick; you smoked! Rachel Green : All right, fine! But I had too! I had to do it for my career! Chandler Bing : I wish I had smoked for my career... Monica Geller : That's so gross! Rachel Green : No well, no it's not that bad, y'know? I mean yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy and these fingers sort of smell, I actually feel like I can throw up.", "summary": "Rachel Green went to a casting call for a cigarette commercial and smoked to get the part. Chandler Bing teases her about it, while Monica Geller reacts with disgust."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good! Monica Geller : Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. Chandler Bing : I think you smell great! Kim : So, we're decided, no on plaid, yes on pink? Nancy : Absolutely! Rachel Green : I am so on board! Kim : Rachel didn't you just light that? Rachel Green : Yeah, I did, but y'know what? I am really, really trying to cut back, y'know? Good luck, Rach. Nancy : I've actually been thinking about quitting lately. Kim : Oh sure, every Sunday night I'm telling myself I'm quitting but every Monday morning it's like", "summary": "Monica smells smoke and tells Chandler, who thinks she smells great. They decide on a color palette for a party, with Rachel agreeing to help. Kim reveals she's been thinking about quitting smoking, but always ends up restarting on Monday mornings."}
-{"dialogues": "Nancy : Tell me about it! Rachel Green : Well then let's just quit! We'll just quit! Let's all quit! Kim : It does sound appealing. Nancy : Oh, I never could do it. Rachel Green : Oh but you could. You can. Absolutely! We can help each other out! We can get--what are those--those patches! We could be like the Patch Sisters! Kim : Oh y'know, we really should quit. Okay, let's quit! Rachel Green : Yes! Great! Give me those cigs! Give it! Give it! Kim : My late husband gave me that lighter. I'm not kidding. Rachel Green : Okay then! Joey Tribbiani : Hmmm, soup! Hmm soup! Hmm, soup!", "summary": "Nancy and Rachel discuss quitting their jobs, with Kim joining in on the conversation. They consider becoming \"Patch Sisters\" and quit smoking, but Nancy is hesitant. Joey interrupts with a mention of soup."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, no problem. Carol Willick : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Hi Ben! So you wanna be an actor huh? I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability. One day you're Dr. Drake Remoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle. Ross Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross Geller : Ben! I mean, Ben! Ben! The Casting Director : Okay, Raymond, Joey you're up. Joey Tribbiani : Hi! The Casting Director : Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready.", "summary": "Ross and Ben go to the bathroom, while Joey watches Ben. Joey talks to Ben about being an actor and how it can be tough with a lot of rejection and no stability. The Casting Director arrives and calls Joey in for an audition."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh. The Casting Director : Is there a problem? Joey Tribbiani : Well this is noodle soup and uh, I've been working with tomato. But that's okay, no problem. No problem. Hmm, noodle soup. The Casting Director : Y'know, that's-that's fine, but the line is, \"Hmm, soup.\" Joey Tribbiani : Oh, what did I say? The Casting Director : Hmm, noodle soup. Joey Tribbiani : How's that different? Oh! Yeah! The Casting Director : All right, let's try one. Joey Tribbiani : Hmm, noodle soup. The Casting Director : Okay. Let's do it again.", "summary": "Joey and the Casting Director discuss a scene where Joey has to say \"Hmm, soup.\" The Casting Director corrects him and they practice the line together."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hmm, soup. I mean, noodle soup. I mean soup! Raymond : COME ON!!!! The Casting Director : Y'know what? We need to move on. Joey Tribbiani : No! No! I-I can do it one more time! See? Look! Hmm, noodle soup. Damnit! Rachel Green : Hey! Hey-hey-hey!! Kim : Uh-oh, busted! Rachel Green : Come on you guys! What are doing?! I thought we were the patch sisters! Kim : Yeah. That didn't work out. Nancy : Rachel we tried to quit, but it was too hard!", "summary": "Soup confusion ensues as Joey Tribbiani struggles with noodle soup, while Raymond becomes frustrated with their casting director and the others try to move on."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well y'know if you, if you started smoking again you could've at least told me! Come on, give me one of those! What are we talking about? Kim : No. No! You're doing great! Don't you give up! That's why we didn't tell you and we're not gonna drag you down with us. Rachel Green : Oh wait, no-no-no! Drag me down. Drag-drag me down. Kim : Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on! Rachel Green : Okay. Kim : So, okay! So you'll come with me on the Paris trip. Rachel Green : Oh man! Phoebe Buffay : Check it out! Cup hat! Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! Chandler Bing : Great job with the cups, Pheebs! Monica Geller : Why don't you just go out with her!", "summary": "Rachel Green is trying to quit smoking but Kim is not supporting her and instead offers her cigarettes. Rachel becomes upset and leaves. Later, Kim invites Rachel on a trip to Paris but Rachel declines. Phoebe Buffay brings in various objects with cups, leading to a conversation about the origin of the cup obsession."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : And did you notice the ice? Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! Ahhh! Mystical! Chandler Bing : Awesome! Monica Geller : Chandler! Everyone--no one's eating my Tuscan finger food 'cause they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones! Chandler Bing : There are snow cones! Snow cones! Yuck! Monica Geller : Y'know...go! Go! Right there! Chandler Bing : Thank you! Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look! Look! Look! #ALL# : Surprise!! Rachel Green : What?! What?! My birthday's not for another month! Monica Geller : That's the surprise!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang gathers at Monica's apartment to celebrate Rachel's upcoming birthday. Phoebe has made snow cones and Chandler is not impressed. Monica tries to keep everyone organized, but things quickly get out of hand."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God! You guys this is so great! I mean it's so unexpected! I mean Chandler's birthday is even before mine! #ALL# : Surprise! Rachel Green : Wow! This is great! Look at all these cups! This is so weird. Phoebe Buffay : I was in charge of cups. Rachel Green : Oh, okay, not so weird. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Listen man, uh, I'm sorry the audition didn't go so well. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah right! Ross Geller : No really, I-I am! I feel bad!", "summary": "Rachel discovers that Chandler's birthday is before hers and is surprised. Phoebe reveals she was in charge of cups for the surprise party. Ross apologizes for not doing well at his audition, and Joey dismisses it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, \"Hmm, noodle soup.\" Ross Geller : Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson. Joey Tribbiani : What you do mean? Ross Geller : I think, sub-consciously... Joey Tribbiani : Wait-whoa-whoa, you lost me. Ross Geller : I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you're way sounds a lot better than mine. Yeah. Yeah! It's not that I'm a bad actor... Ross Geller : No! Joey Tribbiani : No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed. Ross Geller : There you go. Thank you!", "summary": "Joey and Ross discuss why Joey may have messed up his audition, with Ross suggesting that Joey's care for his godson Ben may have influenced his performance."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! So, did-did he get it? Ross Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : Eh, what are you gonna do? Chandler Bing : Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch. Kim : Oh, she doesn't come down here any more. You can find her up on ten. Chandler Bing : Okay, great. Kim : So we talked about the whole presentation yesterday at lunch and he wondered if one person would be enough to get a take on the trip and I said, \"Yeah, absolutely!\" Chandler Bing : I'll catch you guys later. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss whether or not someone will be enough to give a presentation about a trip, while Chandler searches for Rachel and Kim provides additional details about their previous conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion? Chandler Bing : Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, we've got reservations at Ja George. Ross Geller : Wow! How'd you get in there? Chandler Bing : Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert. Delivery Girl : Hi Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey Caitlin! Somebody got a haircut. Caitlin : Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy. Chandler Bing : Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting. Caitlin : It's uh, 27 dollars even. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay. Here you go.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are celebrating their ten-month anniversary at Ja George with reservations. Chandler made a few calls to get them a later seating time and they plan to share the chicken dish without dessert. Meanwhile, a delivery girl arrives and Caitlin is unhappy with her haircut."}
-{"dialogues": "Caitlin : Hey, where's the chicken? Chandler Bing : Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first. Caitlin : Great. I'll see you later! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye! Ross Geller : What the hell was that?! Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?! Chandler Bing : I was not flirting. Ross Geller : It was totally flirting. \"Somebody got a haircut \" Chandler Bing : Okay first of all, the impression, uncanny. And second, that was not flirting, that was just casual conversation between two people. That is all.", "summary": "The chicken is in the back, upset about the duck's claim that eggs came first. Caitlin leaves, and Ross accuses Chandler of flirting with him. Chandler denies it, but Ross insists it was obvious."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, right. Chandler Bing : You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. Ross Geller : I'm good. Rachel Green : I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order! Phoebe Buffay : I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law? Rachel Green : No because first they arrest the guy and then they try him. Phoebe Buffay : Don't get me started on that. Chandler Bing : I was not flirting. Ross Geller : And on your anniversary, for shame! Rachel Green : What's going on?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over who is better at flirting, while Rachel is proud of Joey's upcoming appearance on Law & Order. Phoebe suggests renaming the show to \"Order and Law,\" and Ross accuses Chandler of not flirting with a woman. The conversation ends with Rachel asking what's going on."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl! Chandler Bing : I was not and oh God, shh! Ross Geller : Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it. Phoebe Buffay : Sounds like somebody wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl. Ross Geller : Well... Chandler Bing : Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin? Rachel Green : Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people. Ross Geller : Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place. Rachel Green : Hm-mmm. Ross Geller : And she's just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little...", "summary": "Ross sees Chandler hitting on a delivery girl and accuses him of it. Chandler denies it, but Ross thinks he was and that he should be the one to pursue her since he's single. Phoebe teases Ross about wanting to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl. Rachel reveals she and Ross are no longer together and that it's okay for them to see other people."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? We don't need her measurements. Phoebe Buffay : Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian! Ross Geller : This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat. Phoebe Buffay : See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother! Rachel Green : Big night! Phoebe Buffay : This is so cool! Chandler Bing : So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. I've done it again.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss a woman they encountered at a pizza parlor, with Rachel expressing confusion over her measurements and Phoebe defending her vegetarianism. Ross enters and reveals his plan to use a \"Charm-O-Ross\" on the woman when she returns for her pizza, while Joey and Chandler engage in a comedy routine involving Joey's grandmother."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : She's my biggest fan. Yeah, she's the only one in the family that's believed in me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I uh weighted like 27 pounds when I was born so... Monica Geller : Hey! Happy Anniversary! Chandler Bing : Happy Anniversary, 10 months! Monica Geller : So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London... Chandler Bing : Uhh, Joey's grandmother is right there. Monica Geller : Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't? Chandler Bing : The one that doesn't. Monica Geller : That was some hot love you gave me! I'm gonna go get ready. Chandler Bing : Hey, why don't you wear those earrings I gave you?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey has a fan who believes in him, despite his weight issues. Monica and Chandler celebrate their 10-month anniversary, with Monica reminiscing about their first night in London. Chandler avoids wearing earrings given to him by Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's a great idea! I was saving them for something special. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : You have got to go home! Phoebe Buffay : But I like it here! Monica Geller : You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me okay? Chandler wants me to wear them tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them. Monica Geller : Great! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Rach, hi, I need those earrings you borrowed. Rachel Green : Oh, umm, okay, yeah, I'll be, yeah I'll be right back. Joey Tribbiani : Wow Pheebs, you speak Italian?", "summary": "Monica wants to wear earrings that Phoebe borrowed, but they are in Phoebe's purse. Rachel has them and will get them. Joey is surprised that Phoebe can speak Italian."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I guess so. Rachel Green : Here you go. Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, Rach! Where's the other one? Rachel Green : Oh what, you-you want both of them? Phoebe Buffay : Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?! Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, what am I going to tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight! Rachel Green : Tell her to wear her own earrings. Phoebe Buffay : These are her earrings. Rachel Green : Nooo! Nooooo! You lent me Monica's earrings?! I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff!", "summary": "Rachel loses an earring and Phoebe is upset because she needs it for a night out with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Rachel Green : Because I lose her stuff! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later. Joey Tribbiani : Oh umm, my big scene is coming up. Big scene coming up. Chandler Bing : If you said, \"Big lima bean, bubbling up.\" Would she understand the difference? Monica Geller : Rach? What are you doing? Rachel Green : Oh boy, I just can't watch. It's too scary! Monica Geller : It's a diaper commercial. Rachel Green : Oh yeah well, you know me, babies, responsibilities, ahhh!!! Caitlin : Pizza delivery!", "summary": "Rachel loses something of Phoebe's, leading to a confrontation. Joey threatens violence towards a blind man. Chandler wonders if a phrase would be understood by someone else. Monica tries to calm Rachel down during a diaper commercial. Caitlin interrupts with pizza delivery news."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'll get it! I will get that! Caitlin : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Caitlin : One uh, vegetarian pizza. That's $12.15. Ross Geller : Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys. Caitlin : What?! Ross Geller : The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair. Caitlin : Oh. Thanks. Ross Geller : You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys. Caitlin : Y'know, all I'm looking for is the money.", "summary": "Ross says he likes Caitlin's hair and then awkwardly tries to make a joke about it. Caitlin is uncomfortable and just wants the money for her pizza."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Here you go. Now stop bringing us pizzas you. Caitlin : I'm gonna try. Chandler Bing : You're welcome. Ross Geller : You couldn't let me have her, could ya?! Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there! Monica Geller : What's goin' on? Ross Geller : Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl! Chandler Bing : Thank you for that! I was not flirting. Monica Geller : It's okay. I don't care. It's uh, it's fine.", "summary": "Chandler tries to stop Caitlin from bringing them pizzas, Ross gets jealous and accuses Chandler of flirting with the delivery girl, Monica doesn't care and finds it \"fine\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Really?! Chandler Bing : Really?! Monica Geller : It's no big deal, I do it all the time. Chandler Bing : So umm, you-you flirt with guys all the time? Monica Geller : Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you! Chandler Bing : Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am. Joey Tribbiani : True story! Monica Geller : Chandler, this actually bothers you? Chandler Bing : Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women? Rachel Green : Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women.", "summary": "Monica flirts with men without meaning to, while Chandler is bothered by it and feels it would bother others too. Joey agrees, and Rachel shares her own experience with Ross's infidelity."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : And thank you, for that. Rachel Green : But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing. Ross Geller : What? What-what, what are talking about? It-it worked with you. Rachel Green : Oh! Y'know what? You're right! We meet, you flirted and then bamn nine years later you had me! Ross Geller : All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! And not the one on the menu! Phoebe Buffay : I found it! Rachel Green : Ohh! Thank God! Where was it? Phoebe Buffay : On your dresser. Rachel Green : Okay that is the one we already have! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! Oh my God.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel reminisce about their past flirting and eventual marriage. Phoebe finds a hidden phone number on Rachel's dresser, leading to confusion with an existing number. Joey prepares for his big scene in an upcoming play."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out. Chandler Bing : Well, what is it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, they cut me out of the show. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe your scene's coming up? Joey Tribbiani : Not likely. 'Cause you see that body bag right there Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : I'm in it.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is cut out of the show, and his scene is in a body bag."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : This is terrible, what are you going to do? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died. Phoebe Buffay : That's not good. Joey Tribbiani : No, smile! Not that face, smile! Everybody smile! Rachel Green : Joey, why don't you just tell her what happened? It's not your fault. Chandler Bing : If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon? Grandma Tribbiani :  Joey Tribbiani : Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! Grandma Tribbiani : No! Sam Waterston! Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, that-that's me, that's me.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Phoebe try to comfort a distraught elderly woman who is upset about Joey being dumped from his soap opera role. Chandler tries to intervene, but things quickly become chaotic as the group continues to babble on."}
-{"dialogues": "Grandma Tribbiani : No, it's Sam Waterston! Crimes and Misdemeanors, Capricorn One. Chandler Bing : Doesn't know, \"Hello.\" But she knows Capricorn One. Monica Geller : Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over. Phoebe Buffay : But I already gave them back to you! Monica Geller : No you didn't. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. Where is that other earring? Rachel Green : It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box. Rachel Green : Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we have like ten minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?!", "summary": "Capricorn One: A movie about a government conspiracy involving a fake moon landing.\nCrimes and Misdemeanors: A movie about a philosophical theme of moral responsibility in the face of conflicting ethical views."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Why are you being weird? Ross Geller : Do you like it? Phoebe Buffay : No, that would be, \"Why are you being cute?\" Ross Geller : Okay, I'm working on my flirting. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! I did not get that. Chandler Bing : So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order? Monica Geller : Yeah, it's good. Chandler Bing : See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area! Monica Geller : Chandler! Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.", "summary": "Ross tries to flirt with Phoebe, who brushes him off. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler discuss TV shows and their dating habits."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women. Monica Geller : Go on, teach me something about men and women. Chandler Bing : Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, \"I'm just flirting, no big deal.\" But the guy is thinking, \"Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!\" Monica Geller : No way! Chandler Bing : It's true. Monica Geller : Well that's pathetic! Chandler Bing : Again true. Monica Geller : And this goes for all guys? Chandler Bing : All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way. Joey Tribbiani : All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!", "summary": "Men and women have different perspectives on flirting. Men think about sex when flirting while women just see it as friendly banter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like ten minutes left! Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know! What am I going to do? Ooh! Monica Geller : No! You are not gonna run out and leave her here! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, all right. Ooh! Grandma Tribbiani : Joey! Chandler Bing : Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. So, you're old and small. Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Did you find it? Rachel Green : The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me.", "summary": "Joey is in a panic as he realizes he has only 10 minutes left in a commercial and doesn't know what to do. Monica tries to stop him from leaving, while Chandler talks to Grandma about Joey. Meanwhile, Rachel searches for an earring she lost under the couch, and Phoebe reminds her that she lent her sunglasses to Rachel last summer."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, calm down, here they are. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : What are we going to do?! Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : All right well, we're just gonna have to tell Monica, that's all. Rachel Green : Oh gosh, she's going to kill me. Phoebe Buffay : I suppose I could tell her it's just all my fault. Rachel Green : Ohh that'd be great! Phoebe Buffay : Mon, can I talk to you for a sec? Monica Geller : Yeah, what is it?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discover that Phoebe has been eating their cookies without their permission. Phoebe tries to shift the blame onto Rachel, but they both know it's her fault. Monica becomes upset and wants to know who ate all of her cookies. Phoebe admits she did it and offers to take the blame."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I lost one of your earrings. I'm sorry! I am so, so sorry! Monica Geller : Wow! All right well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it you lost it. Phoebe Buffay : I will replace it, I promise. I feel so terrible. Monica Geller : All right, sweetie that's fine. You didn't do it on purpose. Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Look at you! Come here! Feel better? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! You're the best! Rachel Green : Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. Monica Geller : That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses! Rachel Green : Your sunglasses?!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe loses one of Monica's earrings and feels terrible about it. Monica forgives her but warns her that she will stop lending her things because she can't keep track of them. Rachel joins in and confesses that she lost the same earring, making everyone feel worse."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, right! Caitlin : Pizza! Ross Geller : Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting. Chandler Bing : Okay, hold on. Okay. Rachel Green : Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to... Ross Geller : You'll see. Okay. Oh, what's-what's her name? #ALL# : Caitlin! Grandma Tribbiani : Caitlin! Ross Geller : Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this.", "summary": "Ross tries to impress a girl named Caitlin by flirting with her, while Monica and Phoebe argue over pizza. Chandler joins in, and Rachel offers advice on how to handle the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Caitlin : It's uh, $12.50. Ross Geller : Okay, so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens? Caitlin : No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas. Ross Geller : Gas? Wow! Intense. Chandler Bing : If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem. Ross Geller : Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has? Caitlin : Yeah. Ross Geller : They put that in. Caitlin : What?! Ross Geller : The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.", "summary": "Ross and Caitlin are talking about pizza and he asks if she makes them in a wood-burning oven. She corrects him that they are actually made with gas. Ross then comments on the smell of gas and Caitlin reveals that it's added to make it easier to detect leaks."}
-{"dialogues": "Caitlin : Well okay! Ross Geller : A lot of other gas smells... Chandler Bing : Oh the humanity. Ross Geller : Meth-methane smells... Caitlin : Y'know what umm, actually I, I really, I should go. Ross Geller : Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet! Caitlin : Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! Ross Geller : Was I talking to her about gas? Chandler Bing : More so than anything else. Phoebe Buffay : I-I-I found it interesting.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss various smells, including methane, while Caitlin interrupts and offers to pay for their orders. Ross becomes confused about who he was talking to and Phoebe finds the conversation interesting."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. Rachel Green : Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes. Phoebe Buffay : Ross? Ross Geller : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : What else do they add smell too? Rachel Green : Hey! Hey! Hi! Hey-hey-hey, I'm Rachel! From upstairs? The ones with all the pizza? Caitlin : Oh, is there a problem? Rachel Green : No. No. Every thing's--they're fine. Great pizza. But it's uh, actually umm my friend Ross. He uh, just gets really nervous when he's flirting. Caitlin : Oh my God! That was flirting?!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel reminisce about their past together, while Phoebe questions Ross about his dating habits. Caitlin interrupts to tease them about their flirtatious behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Caitlin : Wow! Rachel Green : I know, I know, but uh just, I'm telling you, once, once you get past that part, that where it-it just feels like you wanna die, he's-he's really a good person. Caitlin : The guy with the gas?! Rachel Green : Yeah. I'm-I'm telling you he's really sweet and he's really funny and he's just ugh, got a good heart. And besides, I y'know, I think he really likes you. Caitlin : Really?! Rachel Green : Well y'know, we have 7 people and like 10 pizzas, what do you think? Caitlin : I just, I thought Joey was there. Rachel Green : Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought. Ross Geller : What do you mean?", "summary": "Rachel meets a guy who works at a pizza place and thinks he's nice, despite some initial reservations. Caitlin is skeptical but Rachel insists he's good."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. Ross Geller : And she just gave you this? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors. Rachel Green : I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute. Ross Geller : Well that I can believe. Rachel Green : Yay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Is the show still on? Chandler Bing : Almost over man. Joey Tribbiani : Look! Oh! Is that the Pope?!", "summary": "Ross is resistant when Rachel gives him a woman's phone number, believing it to be a favor for him. Meanwhile, Joey is excited for the show and Chandler is almost done with work."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why am I looking? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, here I am, here's my big scene! Joey Tribbiani : All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it! Grandma Tribbiani : Oh Joey! Joey Tribbiani : That's right! Chandler Bing : You couldn't have at least changed your shirt. Joey Tribbiani : Now, I wanna a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars. Choo! Choo! Choo! Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it... Choo!! And if I don't get it, I'm gonna shoot this duck! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Joey Tribbiani : I'm comin' out! Ross Geller : And she's supposed to buy this?!", "summary": "Joey demands a suitcase full of $100,000 and threatens to shoot a duck if he doesn't get it. Chandler makes fun of Joey's outfit, while Ross questions Phoebe's decision to buy something for Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Grandma Tribbiani : Joey, bravo! Chandler Bing : Ground control to Major Tom! Commencing countdown...engines...on! Joey Tribbiani : That's uh, scenes from next week's show. Next week's! Phoebe Buffay : I am definitely gonna watch that! Monica Geller : What about these? These look the same? Phoebe Buffay : Definitely! Monica Geller : Not as each other! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, then no. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi!", "summary": "The gang prepares for a new episode of TV shows they will be watching next week. Joey presents scenes from the show, while Phoebe and Monica have differing opinions on the content."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You ready? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world. Monica Geller : Ohh, you're about to get a little luckier. Chandler Bing : Let me see the earrings. Monica Geller : Oh, honey, the earrings... Chandler Bing : They look great! Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what? Monica Geller : My boyfriend really does have good taste! Chandler Bing : Thanks for picking out the earrings man. Ross Geller : Hm-mmm.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are getting ready for something, with Chandler expressing his admiration for Monica's appearance and her upcoming event. Monica teases him about an gift she received from her boyfriend (Ross), which he seems excited about."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, good idea. Chandler Bing : Hey man, what's up? Ross Geller : Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, Ross, look! Look! Ross Geller : What? Where? Joey Tribbiani : Right over there! Right there! Look-look-look! Ross Geller : What am I looking at? Joey Tribbiani : Somebody help me out here! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "Emily gets married again."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Hello! Monica Geller : Hey! Gary : How are you? Phoebe Buffay : Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes. Joey Tribbiani : You got to go on a ride along?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Joey Tribbiani : I want to go on a ride along! Ross Geller : Me too! Gary : Okay! Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah! Me too!", "summary": "Monica invites Phoebe over but she wasn't able to come because she was out with Gary and they went on a ride-along in his cop car, preventing crimes. Joey and Ross want to go on a ride-along as well."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Really?! You? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Gary : Well, it's kinda dangerous. Chandler Bing : Well, I like danger. Gary : Okay, you guys free tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : Tonight? You-you didn't say it was going to be at nighttime. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could finally organize these photos! Rachel Green : Ohh, thank God! Finally!", "summary": "Gary and Chandler discuss going to an unknown location together, with Gary expressing concern for safety. Joey and Ross are excited about free time on the same night. Monica wants to organize photos with Rachel's help."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know... And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? Rachel Green : Ohh, it's me and La Poo! Wow! I miss that dog. Monica Geller : You can also find him under umm, dog and dead. Rachel Green : Great! Thanks! Monica Geller : All right, hand me that other box of photos; that's the very last one. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Oops. Sorry! Well, good thing you number all of them, huh? Monica Geller : I hadn't! Photo 152 was a prototype. Rachel Green : Ohhhh. Honey, honey, honey, it's okay, it's okay honey. I'm gonna fix you a drink, huh? Maybe a margarita? Ross Geller : Ross has the blender! Ugh, everything's just falling apart!", "summary": "Monica Geller creates categories for her collection of photos and cross-references them by subject. Rachel Green finds a photo of herself with her dog La Poo and misses him. Monica reveals that she hasn't numbered all of the photos, including Photo 152, which is a prototype. Rachel offers to fix Monica a drink, possibly a margarita, and Ross Geller interrupts to complain about everything falling apart."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No honey, it's okay! Listen, I'll got to Ross's and get the blender, you get all the margarita stuff ready. Monica Geller : All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some cash. Rachel Green : Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM? Monica Geller : Nah, while you're at Ross's if you see any lying around... Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : What?! I-I-I don't, I don't do that! Ross Geller : That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy. Chandler Bing : It is starting to get dark out there. Ross Geller : He told you everything! I mean you totally cracked him! Gary : Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are getting ready for a party while Ross and Chandler are in the living room. Monica needs cash and asks Rachel to stop at an ATM on her way to Ross's house. However, when Rachel arrives at Ross's, she finds out that he has keys in the drawer and suggests checking for any lying around while she's there. Monica becomes defensive and insists she doesn't do that. Meanwhile, Chandler comments on how dark it is outside and Ross compliments him on his ability to lean on a guy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. But it is officially nighttime. Ross Geller : Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya? Gary : It's called the cherry. Ross Geller : It's the-Chandler!! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world! Gary : Hey Joe does it have meatballs on it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho, yeah! Gary : Does it have melted cheese and marinara sauce? Joey Tribbiani : Yep! Gary : Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.", "summary": "The group goes to a restaurant for dinner, with Ross offering to get a drink for Gary. Gary corrects him, saying the drink is called a \"cherry\" instead of a \"berry.\" Joey excitedly recommends the restaurant's sandwiches, and Gary asks if they have meatballs on them."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah okay. Even though my tax dollars paid for this car. Chandler Bing : Your tax dollars? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, okay. Chandler Bing : Wow! That sandwich really does smell good. Joey Tribbiani : Did I say you could smell it?! Chandler Bing : I can't smell your sandwich? Joey Tribbiani : Half the taste is in the smell! You-you're sucking up all the tastiness! Chandler Bing : Okay, I'll give them back. Look! What is so great about that sandwich? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, imagine the best sex you've ever had. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss a sandwich, with Joey mentioning that his tax dollars paid for it. Chandler can't smell it, leading to a series of jokes about the taste and smell of the sandwich. They eventually compare it to the best sex they've ever had."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Are you thinking about Monica? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what's that like? Rachel Green : Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! Monica Geller : Rach! It's me! Pick up! Rachel Green : Hey! What's up?! Monica Geller : I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila. Rachel Green : So all we have is ice? Monica Geller : See if he has ice. Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Monica needs ingredients to make margaritas for a party, but Joey and Chandler are distracted by thoughts of Monica. Rachel joins in the conversation and tries to help Monica find what she needs."}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : Hello Ross? It's Emily. I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh! Ross Geller : So where are we going next? Gary : This witness won't return my calls so we're gonna see if we can surprise him coming home. Chandler Bing : Sur-surprise him? We're not, we're not gonna make anybody mad are we? Joey Tribbiani : Come on man! Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up? Gary : It's a witness not a perp. And no one talks like that! Ross Geller : Yeah, no one talks like that! Joey Tribbiani : Oh what? Like your Mr. Cop! Ross Geller : Hey, I'm more cop than you two!", "summary": "Emily Waltham is getting married tomorrow, but she's having second thoughts and wants to know if Ross is still thinking about her. Ross and his friends are discussing their plans for the next gathering, while a witness in a case they are working on is uncooperative and they plan to surprise him at home."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : How do you figure that? Ross Geller : Hello! I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner! Chandler Bing : Y'know, when you say partner it doesn't sound cop. It, it sounds gay. Ross Geller : Umm, jealous! Gary : Hey, do you mind? We're under cover here. Ross Geller : Yeah, no problem. Gary : Ross! Ross Geller : Sorry! Sorry! Oh, there! Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home! Chandler Bing : Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what's up with that Serpico?", "summary": "Chandler and Ross are undercover, with Ross sitting in the front seat and Chandler in the back. Chandler makes a comment about Ross's use of the term \"partner\" sounding \"gay,\" which leads to an awkward moment. Joey enters and refers to Ross as \"Serpico.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Emily Waltham : Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye. Monica Geller : Nooo! Rachel Green : I know! Monica Geller : Well thank God you were here! I mean, we have to erase that! Rachel Green : What?! We can't do that! Monica Geller : We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you? Rachel Green : Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesn't give us the right to erase his message! Monica Geller : I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesn't that give me the right to control him-help him? Rachel Green : I don't think he's the one who needs help. Monica Geller : No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.", "summary": "Emily Waltham considers Ross and sends him a message, but Monica Geller discovers it and urges her brother not to respond. Monica worries that if Ross answers the message, Emily might get back together with him. The two friends agree that Emily is unstable and that Ross should avoid getting involved with her again."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ugh! Monica Geller : Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him. Rachel Green : Okay, you are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset! I mean, listen! Answering Machine : Your messages have been erased. Rachel Green : Noooooooo! Chandler Bing : Okay, y'know, we-we're safe right? I mean nothing bad can go down! Gary : No. But that reminds me, sign this. Ross Geller : What is it? Gary : Oh it's nothing, it just says that you can't sue the city if you scrap your knee or y'know, get your head blown off. Chandler Bing : Oh, hurry up. I want to sign that.", "summary": "The group discovers that someone has erased their voicemails, causing them to worry about what might happen next."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Okay, here he comes. What is he doing? What the hell is he doing?! Ross Geller : What? What? What? What is it? Joey Tribbiani : Is everything okay? Chandler Bing : What's going on? Gary : Okay, he sees us. Now don't move. Don't look at him. Gary : Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did? Joey Tribbiani : You okay man? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Thank Joey! Chandler Bing : Uh, HELLO!! Joey Tribbiani : Hi.", "summary": "Gary sees a car backfire and thinks it's something serious, while Ross, Joey, and Chandler try to calm him down and figure out what's going on."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, I guess we should go. Rachel Green : No, wait. Wait. Monica Geller : Oh yeah right! Rachel Green : No, Monica! Monica! We have to fix this! Monica Geller : There's nothing we can do. You erased the message! Rachel Green : Yeah well unless we tell him. Monica Geller : Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it. Rachel Green : Oh, maybe that's Emily calling back to leave the exact same message. Ross Geller : Hey Ross! It's you! I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive! So live everyday to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? Okay. Oh, and also get stamps. Bye! Monica Geller : Wow! Play that message for Emily and this whole problem goes away!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel try to cover up a messaging mistake by erasing the original message, but they end up accidentally deleting it. When Emily calls back, Monica suggests playing the original message for her to fix the situation, but Rachel is hesitant. Meanwhile, Ross leaves a strange voicemail for himself, urging him to live life to the fullest and buy stamps."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Right? Gary : Hey, anybody want to meet a hero? Phoebe Buffay : John Glenn is here?! Gary : No, Joey! Ross Geller : Pheebs, we had the most incredible night! Okay, so, we're in the car... Gary : Wait! Hold on! Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Gary : Okay, go ahead. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me! Phoebe Buffay : My God, Joey!", "summary": "A hero (John Glenn) is present, but Gary and Phoebe are more interested in a wild night they had in a car. Ross details their harrowing experience with gunfire and Joey's selfless act of throwing himself on Ross to protect him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It was a car backfire! Ross Geller : Yeah, but-but he didn't know that! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I didn't know that. Ross Geller : And it could've just as easily have been a bullet. Gary : Hey Joe, you ever think about joining the force? We could use a guy like you. Chandler Bing : Who jumps at loud noises! Ross Geller : Wow! I could've died tonight. Chandler Bing : Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. Ross Geller : I do have a newfound respect for life. Chandler Bing : Oh my God!", "summary": "Car backfires, could have been a bullet. Joey considers joining the force, Chandler jumps at loud noises, and Ross has a newfound respect for life."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : So you wanna get some dinner? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Sure! Yep! Oh, y'know what? If I heard a shot right now, I'd throw my body on you. Gary : Oh yeah? Well maybe you and I should take a walk through a bad neighborhood. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Gary : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Joey Tribbiani : Bye! Joey Tribbiani : Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! How come you took off? Chandler Bing : Oh, I just went for a walk, around the living room. Whatever...", "summary": "Gary and Phoebe go out for dinner, with Phoebe expressing admiration for Gary and suggesting they take a walk through a bad neighborhood. Joey intervenes and saves Ross from an attack, while Chandler returns from a walk around the living room."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Is something wrong? Chandler Bing : No. No I'm just tired. Y'know, from-from the walk. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : You dove in front of Ross! Ross! Joey Tribbiani : That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross! Chandler Bing : I do not hate Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture. Chandler Bing : What picture? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing! Chandler Bing : Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me!", "summary": "Ross is involved in a car accident, and Joey dives in front of him to save him. Chandler is angry at Joey for not trying to save him during the incident. The conversation escalates as both men express their feelings towards each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I...knew...you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's not street like us! Chandler Bing : When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line. Joey Tribbiani : Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich. Chandler Bing : From a bullet! Joey Tribbiani : I know it doesn't make much sense... Chandler Bing : Much sense?! Joey Tribbiani : Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it! Chandler Bing : So you risked your life, for a sandwich! Joey Tribbiani : I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is the greatest sandwich in the world! Chandler Bing : So you didn't uh, choose Ross before me.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over who Joey saved in a dangerous situation, with Joey claiming he was trying to save his sandwich and not Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother! Chandler Bing : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, here. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : No, eh, oh-oi, easy, it's not a hot dog! Joey Tribbiani : How good is that? Chandler Bing : Oh-oi-ho, yeah! Joey Tribbiani : See? Chandler Bing : Hm-hmm. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-whoa-hey, dude, what are you doing?!", "summary": "Joey and Chandler bond over their friendship, with Joey offering to prove it by giving Chandler a strange food item."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I thought you were showing me how much you mean to me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. With a bite! Gee-e-e-eez! Rachel Green : Hey! Hi! Ross Geller : Rach, what uh, what are you doing here? Rachel Green : Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister! Ross Geller : Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! Rachel Green : Okay, just a little scared. What's going on Ross? Ross Geller : The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near death experience! Rachel Green : What?! What? What happened?! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, we were on the ride along with Gary, right?", "summary": "Ross has a near-death experience while on a roller coaster with Joey and Chandler, leading to a conversation about their friendship and Rachel's presence in the apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : And somebody took a shot at me! Rachel Green : Really?! Ross Geller : No, a car backfired, but I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I...I survived! And I was filled with this-this great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now. Rachel Green : Because a car backfired? Ross Geller : Okay, why are you here? Rachel Green : Well, I-I-I don't know how this fits into your whole \"seizing\" thing but um, Emily called you today. Ross Geller : You talked to her? Rachel Green : No, she left a message. But it-it kinda got erased. There's just something wrong with your machine. Ross Geller : Well, okay, what-what did she say?", "summary": "Ross survived a car backfiring and felt a newfound appreciation for life, desiring to experience every moment and seize every opportunity. Emily called him with a message that got erased on his machine."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her. Ross Geller : Wow! Rachel Green : Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right? Ross Geller : Huh? Yeah! Yes, of course! Rachel Green : Okay. Thank you! Thank you! Because-I'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want me-not important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. Your decision. Ross Geller : Right. I guess, I guess I should call Emily. Rachel Green : Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that? Ross Geller : Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to mean something! Rachel Green : Ugh, Ross! That was not a near death experience! That was barely an experience! Ross Geller : You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?", "summary": "Rachel has second thoughts about her wedding and wants Ross to call her. Ross agrees but then changes his mind after having a near-death experience."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? Maybe, this is not about seizing stuff. Maybe this is about escaping stuff. Ross Geller : Huh. Rachel Green : I mean, look-look today you escaped death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily? Ross Geller : That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her. Rachel Green : Well, there you go! Ross Geller : Yeah. Maybe today is just, close call day. Rachel Green : Close call day. Ross Geller : Hey, thanks Rach. Rachel Green : Ohh, honey no problem. Okay. Ross Geller : Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.", "summary": "Ross has a close call with death and realizes it might be an opportunity to escape getting back together with his ex Emily. Rachel agrees and suggests they take advantage of the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh? Ross Geller : \"Hey Ross, it's you!\" Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that. Rachel Green : No. Ross Geller : Hey umm, was-was Monica here? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Yeah, I want my money back. Rachel Green : Yeah, uh you-you probably need that for stamps, right? Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, has Gary ever been shot at for real? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a good story. Ross Geller : I wonder how I would react under fire, y'know? And not backfire but-but heavy fire, like I was in a war or something.", "summary": "Ross wants his money back from Monica, and Phoebe reveals that Gary has been shot at before. Ross wonders how he would react if he were in a real war."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Man, I would be great in a war! I mean, I really, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys. Chandler Bing : Before or after you were shot by your own troops? Ross Geller : I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us. Chandler Bing : Yes, if the foxhole was lined with sandwiches. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, hero sandwiches. Phoebe Buffay : Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. Not you Joey. Gary : Would you like some more coffee, baby-doll? Phoebe Buffay : I'm fine, thanks. Chandler Bing : Yeah, see, I can't pull of baby-doll can I? Monica Geller : No. I think we learned that from the sugarlips incident. I'm gonna get some tea.", "summary": "Monica believes she would be great in war and could lead troops. Ross disagrees, saying Joey would protect everyone in the foxhole. Chandler brings up sandwiches, while Phoebe is a pacifist who won't participate in war. Gary offers her more coffee, but she declines. Chandler can't pull off \"baby-doll\" and Monica recounts their past experience with \"sugarlips.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : Hiya doin' pumpkin? Phoebe Buffay : Nope. Monica Geller : So it looks like it's going really well for you two, huh? Gary : I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Gary : What do you, what do you think? Monica Geller : I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her? Gary : Tonight, but don't say anything. Okay? Monica Geller : I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral...", "summary": "Chandler and Gary are discussing their relationships with Phoebe and Monica, respectively. Chandler is interested in asking Phoebe to move in with him, but is unsure if she will say yes. Monica is excited for Chandler and suggests he should ask her tonight. The conversation ends with Monica joking about not getting flowers because Phoebe cries when they die."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : I'll see you after work sweetie. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Bye! Phoebe Buffay : So, what movie should we see? Monica Geller : Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Really?! Monica Geller : He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer! Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe this! Chandler Bing : Right, because it's fast. Because, it's so fast. It's fast! Monica Geller : Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you! Chandler Bing : Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go!", "summary": "Gary proposes to Phoebe and she is surprised."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, but it is fast. Isn't it? Monica Geller : Ohhhh! Phoebe Buffay : No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this! Chandler Bing : So, what are you gonna do? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I'll just handle it-I'll ask you to talk to him! Chandler Bing : Me?! Why me? Phoebe Buffay : Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a...man! Chandler Bing : I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be. Monica Geller : That is so sweet! Chandler Bing : Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem.", "summary": "Phoebe likes someone but isn't ready for a relationship; Chandler is asked to talk to him and make him afraid like Chandler; Chandler is hesitant but agrees to help."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, is uh, is Staten Island really an island? Ross Geller : Uh-huh, that's why they call it Staten Island. Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island. Ross Geller : Also an island. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what time is it? Ross Geller : 2:17. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour? Ross Geller : Are you serious?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it. Ross Geller : Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani and Ross Geller discussing whether or not Staten Island is actually an island, as well as their impressive streak of throwing a ball without dropping it for over an hour. The conversation then abruptly shifts to them realizing they forgot about lunch."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! Yeah, my pants are a little loose! Rachel Green : Hey, you guys... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Is Monica here? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rachel Green : All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl. Ross Geller : You bought Shawn Cassidy! Rachel Green : Noo! I wish! Okay, you ready? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Rachel Green : Okay! Check it out!", "summary": "Rachel buys a surprise gift for Monica, but it's something that Monica might not like."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What-what is it?! Joey Tribbiani : What the hell is that?!! Rachel Green : It's a, it's a cat! Joey Tribbiani : That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.} Rachel Green : Yes it is! Ross Geller : Why is it inside out?! Rachel Green : Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat! Ross Geller : How much did you pay for that? Rachel Green : Well, it was a little extravagant, but I a pretty good deal. Ross Geller : Yeah? How much?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a mysterious creature that Joey and Ross are unsure of, with Rachel identifying it as a cat. Joey disagrees, and they continue to argue over its identity."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : A thousand bucks. Ross Geller : ON A CAT??!!!! Joey Tribbiani : It's not a cat! Rachel Green : All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it! Ross Geller : Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.} Joey Tribbiani : It's not a cat! Rachel Green : Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?! Ross Geller : Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, the ball thing. Ross Geller : Yeah?", "summary": "Rachel wants a free kitten, but Ross and Joey think it's a bad idea. They argue about buying pets from pet shops versus animal shelters. Rachel is excited to set up a litter box for her new kitten, but is unsure of what to name her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?! Ross Geller : Uhh, yeah it would! Let's do it! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom! Joey Tribbiani : Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it! Ross Geller : I know! Don't switch hands, okay? Chandler Bing : Hey ladies! What are you in here for? Gary : Hey Chandler, what are you doing here?", "summary": "Joey and Ross try to go two hours without dropping it. Joey has to pee, but Rachel is in the bathroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Gary, I'm here to report a crime. Gary : Yeah? Chandler Bing : It is a crime that you and I don't spend more time together. Gary : What's up? Chandler Bing : Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me. Gary : Sure. Okay. Chandler Bing : Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together! Gary : Yeah, I-I considered that. I just know it would make me happy. Chandler Bing : You mean scared. Gary : No, I mean happy.", "summary": "Chandler wants to talk to Gary about how he thinks they should spend more time together, but he's afraid of what will happen if Gary starts living with Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Scared? Happy? Gary : Chandler, what-what are you doing? Chandler Bing : I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there! Gary : I know! I can't wait! Chandler Bing : Were you're parents happy, or something? Gary : Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I just-I wanna be around her as much as I can. Chandler Bing : Wow, y'know when you say it, it doesn't sound so scary. Gary : So you know what I'm talking about, right? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica! Gary : No, it's too soon for you guys.", "summary": "Chandler tries to convince Gary that living with Phoebe would be a good idea, but Gary is hesitant and unsure. Chandler suggests moving in with Monica as well, but Gary thinks it's too soon for them to do so."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, you're right about that. Ross Geller : ...now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?! Joey Tribbiani : Maybe this should be more of a quiet game. Monica Geller : Hey guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Monica Geller : Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. It was right here, where is it? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Monica Geller : All right, come on, I'm-I'm late for work! Ross Geller : How do you know? You don't have a watch. Monica Geller : Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it!", "summary": "Remains of a Mesozoic Mastodon found in the jaws of a Paleozoic Amphibian. How did it get there? Discussion ensues among Chandler, Ross, Joey, and Monica as they search for Monica's missing watch."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't know.... Yeah, can't do it. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we haven't dropped it in... Ross Geller : 2 hours, 27 minutes. Monica Geller : Really?! Monica Geller : I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. Yes!! Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. Ross Geller : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Check it out! Almost 3 hours without droppin' it!", "summary": "Ross and Monica compete to see how long they can hold a ball without dropping it, with Ross currently at 2 hours and 27 minutes. However, Monica suddenly becomes ill and is unable to make it into work."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time. Monica Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Monica Geller : You have scratches all over you, what happened? Rachel Green : Well, it's my cat. Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I got a cat. Monica Geller : I don't want a cat! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, don't worry, it's not a cat. Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Rachel gets scratches on her face and Monica asks what happened, Rachel reveals she has a cat. Monica doesn't want a cat and Joey agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, \"Rachel!\" Ross Geller : Doesn't sound as crazy as paying a thousand dollars for a cat. Monica Geller : What?! You paid a thousand dollars for a cat when you owe me 300!! Rachel Green : Well, I was gonna let you play with it. Chandler Bing : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing? Chandler Bing : Yes I did, and I think you should do it. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Chandler Bing : He's a great guy, y'know? And he loves you a lot, you are a very lucky lady. Phoebe Buffay : You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!", "summary": "Rachel gets a new cat that is not as sweet or cute as her grandmother's cat, and it hisses at her. Ross pays a thousand dollars for a cat, while Monica is upset about owing Rachel $300. Chandler supports Phoebe in moving in with Gary, but she is resistant to commitment."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. If you ask me, I'd move in with him. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh!! God! Ooh! Get out of here, good for nothing. Gary : Hey Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hey Gar! Gary : Hi sweetie. Hi, can I talk to you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Okay. Gary : You look very pretty today. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Okay. Gary : Here's the thing. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah?", "summary": "Gary wants to talk to Chandler about something, but Phoebe interrupts them and teases Chandler for looking pretty. Gary tries to continue the conversation, but Phoebe keeps interjecting."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Y'know I really want to move this relationship forward. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Gary : Because if you're not moving forward, y'know you're just moving backwards. Phoebe Buffay : No that's not true. If you're not moving forward, you're just staying still. And staying still is good. Watch this. Gary : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Gary : I want you to move in with me. Phoebe Buffay : That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other. Gary : Oh. Oh-oh-okay, I get it. Phoebe Buffay : I just-I don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for.", "summary": "Gary wants to move his relationship with Phoebe forward, but she hesitates and suggests that staying still can be good. Gary proposes moving in together, but Phoebe hesitates, citing a lack of knowledge about each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm just-I'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake. Gary : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Which is why my answer is yes! Gary : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! I'm so...happy. Ross Geller : Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team! Chandler Bing : Four hours? You guys have been doing this for four hours? Joey Tribbiani : That's right baby. Chandler Bing : All right, let me in.", "summary": "Gary and Phoebe are hesitant about their relationship, with Phoebe worried it will be a mistake. Gary agrees, and Phoebe excitedly says yes. Ross intervenes during a game of \"catch\" between Monica and Chandler, while Joey joins in after being teased by Chandler for playing for four hours."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No-no! Don't do it! Don't! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : He's a dropper! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, that's right! Chandler Bing : I'm not a dropper! Ross Geller : It's really a uh-uh three person game, y'know? Chandler Bing : It's throwing and catching! Ross Geller : All right. Chandler Bing : Oh! Oh! That's so hard. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa you guys, it's not a cat!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over a game of \"dropper,\" with Joey and Ross joining in on the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my-Oh good God! Rachel Green : I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing! Ross Geller : Baking it didn't help, huh? Monica Geller : So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it? Rachel Green : I tried! They won't take her back. Chandler Bing : Maybe that's because she's a minion of the anti-Christ. Monica Geller : Rach, why won't they take it back? Rachel Green : Well, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats? Monica Geller : Look, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it. Rachel Green : No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand!", "summary": "Rachel buys a cat online but it turns out to be a problem when the seller won't take it back. Monica offers to keep the cat at her place until Rachel figures out what to do with it, but Rachel declines and decides to find another solution."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close. Chandler Bing : Yeah, you almost overreacted to something. Gary : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Gary : We have great news! Phoebe Buffay : We're moving in together! Isn't it great! Yay! #ALL# : Congratulations! Congrats! Phoebe Buffay : I know, I'm so excited! Gary : So am I! Phoebe Buffay : Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!", "summary": "Phoebe and Gary move in together."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Okay, I'll see you at the station later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, yeah, I'll see you later! Don't forget about the moving in! Gary : All right. Monica Geller : So you're moving in with him. What happened? Phoebe Buffay : I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps. Monica Geller : Why, do you write him a lot? Phoebe Buffay : No, I just heard when people live together, they split the cost of stamps. Don't they? #ALL# : Yeah! That's right. Yeah-yeah! Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out. Gary : Hey, honey! Okay, so did you find any apartments? Anything in Brooklyn Heights?", "summary": "Gary and Phoebe are preparing to move in together, much to Monica's surprise. Phoebe explains that she couldn't say no to Gary when he got sad, and that she really likes him despite some reservations about living together. Meanwhile, Monica and Gary discuss the cost of stamps and the idea of splitting expenses with roommates."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, nothing. Gary : Oh really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Gary : Nothing at all? Phoebe Buffay : No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. Gary : Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Gary : Take a seat. You okay? You feeling all right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together. Gary : So you uh, you checked the paper for listings in Brooklyn Heights, right? You-you checked the Post?", "summary": "Phoebe and Gary are looking for a new place to live together. Phoebe mentions that there is nothing available, but she will keep an eye out for something with a pool. Gary asks if she is feeling okay, as he notices she seems distant. Phoebe confirms that she feels great, revealing that they will be moving in together. Gary then asks if she checked the newspaper for listings in Brooklyn Heights."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing. Can I get some water? Gary : In a minute. You-you checked today's Post? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, yeah! Today's. Gary : 'Cause uh, this is today's Post and uh, these are the listings I found. Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights! Phoebe Buffay : Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging! Gary : Let me tell you what I think might be going on. No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, \"Yes\" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! I'm sorry! Gary : Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Gary : Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.", "summary": "A friend finds a newspaper listing of properties in Brooklyn Heights and mistakenly assumes they are for rent. The other person reveals that someone asked them to move in with them but is now having doubts due to things moving too fast. The first person expresses their own doubts about the relationship and the two have a conversation about their feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That's so sweet. Gary : Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I just-I want you to be happy Phoebe Buffay : Living with you would make me happy. Gary : Phoebe, you don't have to say that. Phoebe Buffay : No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you! Gary : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! Gary : Oh that's great! Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, one sec. One sec. Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, which was never! Rachel Green : Show cat! Quality show cat! Show cat!", "summary": "Phoebe wants to live with Gary, but he's hesitant and they argue about it. Meanwhile, Rachel enters the room and exclaims over a quality show cat."}
-{"dialogues": "Woman No. 1 : Oh my God! What's wrong with your baby?! Rachel Green : It's not a baby! It's a cat! Woman No. 1 : Eew! It's creepy looking! Rachel Green : Oh no! No! It's actually-it's very sweet. It's very sweet. Look! Yeah, do you want it? Woman No. 1 : No, I hate cats. Rachel Green : Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on! Woman No. 2 : Wow! What an unusual cat! Rachel Green : Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it? Woman No. 2 : Maybe. I was thinking about getting a cat, I was just going to go to the shelter but... Okay, why not? Rachel Green : Oh, terrific! That'll be $2,000.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A woman brings her pet cat to a gathering, where it is initially met with disgust and rejection by another woman. However, the second woman eventually warms up to the cat and decides to adopt it after being offered $2,000."}
-{"dialogues": "Woman No. 2 : What?! Rachel Green : Okay, a thousand. Woman No. 2 : I thought you wanted to adopt your cat. Rachel Green : Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat. Woman No. 2 : Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat. Rachel Green : Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! Damnit! Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody? Ross Geller : I'm starving! Monica Geller : Come on guys! Suck it up! We're closing in on ten hours! It's gut-check time! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know who made you the boss? All right? We invented this game! Monica Geller : Please! I made this game what it is.", "summary": "Rachel wants to sell her cat for $1000, but Woman No. 2 thinks it's too expensive. They haggle over the price, with Rachel insisting it's an investment and Woman No. 2 wanting a lower price. Meanwhile, Ross is hungry, Monica is tired, and Joey questions Monica's leadership in the game they invented."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Not fun anymore? Ross Geller : I'm still hungry! Monica Geller : All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me? Ross Geller : I am! Monica Geller : All right! Let's go! Let's go Team Monica! All right, we can work out the name later. Monica Geller : Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls! Rachel Green : It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson. Ross Geller : Oh, thank God! Joey Tribbiani : Did you get your money back? Rachel Green : Yeah, 15 hundred dollars.", "summary": "Ross and Monica suggest going to eat pizza together, but Rachel reveals she sold her cat and Joey asks if Ross got his money back."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wow! You made a profit! Gunther : I just came for the red-velvet pillow. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, there you go. Gunther : Thanks Rachel. And-and don't forget you-you can come visit her anytime you want. Rachel Green : Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. Gunther : Hey! So what is this? Some kind of snake or something? Gary : I really like waking up with you. Phoebe Buffay : I like waking up with you too. Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. Oh, I can stay here all day. Gary : That would be great! Phoebe Buffay : We could have breakfast in bed...", "summary": "Gunther makes a profit and thanks Rachel for her help. Phoebe finds a snake and enjoys waking up with Gary."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Wait, just a second. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh! Oh no. Monica Geller : All right! Come on Monica! Look alive! Come on, look alive! Phoebe Buffay : Oh good, you're all up. Rachel Green : Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, that's over. #ALL# : What?! Chandler Bing : Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out! Phoebe Buffay : He shot a bird! Chandler Bing : Oh that is over!", "summary": "* Gary and Phoebe have a disagreement.\n* Monica tries to wake up and get everyone moving.\n* Rachel arrives at Gary's and finds out about the argument.\n* Chandler supports Gary despite the issue.\n* The problem is resolved when Gary admits he shot a bird."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : That's terrible! I'm sorry! Rachel Green : Phoebe, are you okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, here Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Nah, I don't feel like playing. Monica Geller : It's okay. It's okay. Just pretend that it didn't happen! Okay? No one needs to know! I mean, Phoebe's not an official ballplayer! I mean, only official ballplayers can drop the ball! #ALL# : All right. Okay. I'm starving! Rachel Green : Phoebe, honey, wanna get some breakfast? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Okay! Okay, let's race! First one there wins! Ha-ha!", "summary": "Phoebe drops the ball during a game, and the group tries to cover it up. However, their plan fails when Rachel mentions it in front of everyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You guys wanna eat here? #ALL# : Yeah! As long as we're here! Joey Tribbiani : Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around? Rachel Green : Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long. Ross Geller : I know. My arm is killing me. Rachel Green : No, I meant with the dropper over here. Chandler Bing : Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. Ross Geller : What's going on? Rachel Green : Well, my eye is a little itchy. Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, mine too! Yeah.", "summary": "The gang eats at a restaurant and reminisces about throwing a ball around for a long time. Ross's arm is sore from throwing the ball, and Rachel's eye is itchy."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor. Rachel Green : Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend! Chandler Bing : Oh, Richard. That's all I ever hear, Richard, Richard, Richard! Monica Geller : Since we've been going out, I think I've mentioned his name twice! Chandler Bing : Okay, so Richard, Richard! Monica Geller : It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good. Rachel Green : Well, I'm sorry I'm not going to an eye doctor! Ross Geller : Oh God, here we go! Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch!", "summary": "Monica has a new boyfriend and is excited to introduce him to her friends, but Rachel is hesitant to meet him due to Monica's past experiences with eye doctors. Chandler teases Monica about constantly mentioning Richard, while Ross frets about Monica's tendency to overreact when it comes to anyone getting near her eyes."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please? #ALL# : All right, fine. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? Rachel Green : Monica! Come on! Ross Geller : Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? Rachel Green : Ross! Stop it! Come on! Chandler Bing : How much did I love The King and I? Rachel Green : Chandler! Joey Tribbiani : Me too! Me too! Me too! Rachel Green : Just stop it! Come on!", "summary": "Rachel has a strange phobia about her eye, which she does not want to discuss. Ross tries to bring up the topic, while Monica suggests singing a song together. Everyone else is more interested in getting lunch and watching a movie."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You okay there man? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I got too excited! Ross Geller : All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, give him a kiss for me! Ross Geller : All right, bye! Monica Geller : Bye! Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Ross Geller : Later! Phoebe Buffay : I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him! Chandler Bing : Wow umm, calm down.", "summary": "Ross takes Ben to the park, while Joey gets excited and Phoebe kisses him goodbye. Phoebe apologizes for being too out there and Ross is caught in the middle."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm trying, but man that guy can push my buttons! Monica Geller : Why are so mad at him? Phoebe Buffay : Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay? Monica Geller : Well, it just seems that... Phoebe Buffay : You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seem my list by the way? Chandler Bing : Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like? Phoebe Buffay : Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, \"Ross\" on it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!! Chandler Bing : You got the lead in a movie? That's amazing! What's the movie about?! Joey Tribbiani : It's called Shutter Speed, it's really cool! Yeah, umm, I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in like a day, right? And then, she disappears... But I find out where she lives and when I get there this like old lady answers the door and I say, \"Where's Betsy?\" Right? And she says, \"Betsy's been dead for 10 years.\"", "summary": "Ross is on a piece of paper in Phoebe's list. Joey got the lead in a movie called Shutter Speed and falls in love with a girl he meets on the subway, but she disappears."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ohh-oh, chilling! Joey Tribbiani : And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! And you know what that means buddy! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know that means buddy! Joey Tribbiani : Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday! Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, my grandmother's dead. Chandler Bing : Well, uh, we can talk about that too Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Thanks Pheebs! Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job? Joey Tribbiani : Oh umm, not go.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group plans a road trip to Las Vegas, but Phoebe's grandmother's death and Chandler's job conflict create obstacles."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right, great, road trip baby! This okay with you? Monica Geller : Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. You can go. Chandler Bing : Thank you. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment! Rachel Green : All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! Ohhh! No! Look what I did! Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule! Monica Geller : No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! Chandler!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey Joey! What's up? Joey Tribbiani : I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I've been around. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica go on a road trip without permission, Rachel and Joey prepare for an eye doctor appointment while cleaning up a mess, and Phoebe helps Joey decide which route to take to Vegas."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.} Joey Tribbiani : Great! Problem solved! Phoebe Buffay : But on the southern route there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe. Joey Tribbiani : Well, back to square one. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Good, but wait. Okay, all right, here we go. Now I want you to relax. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. Which do you like better peanut butter or egg whites? Joey Tribbiani : Peanut butter! Phoebe Buffay : Which would you rather be a fireman or a swimmer? Joey Tribbiani : A swimmer!", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey discuss two unique individuals they have heard of - a man in Illinois with a beard of bees and a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe in Wisconsin. To decide which route to take, Phoebe asks Joey a series of quick questions, including his preference between peanut butter and egg whites, and whether he would rather be a fireman or a swimmer."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Monica. Oh... huh, I always thought it would be Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : No thinking! No thinking! Tie or ascot? Joey Tribbiani : Ascot! Phoebe Buffay : North route or south route? Joey Tribbiani : North route! Phoebe Buffay : Bamn! There you go! Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Wow! That was incredible! Beard of bees, here I come! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this guy again.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are considered options for Joey's sexual desires. Joey prefers Monica over Rachel. They discuss different routes (north or south) to reach their destination. Phoebe is surprised by Joey's choice and reacts with excitement."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey man, what's up? Ross Geller : Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, what do you want to see? Ross Geller : I don't know, umm... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, no thank you. Ross Geller : What's with her? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. But hey, I know we can decide. Okay, I'm gonna ask you questions and you answer real quick. Okay? Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : What do you like better action or comedy?", "summary": "Joey and Ross decide to watch a movie together, but Phoebe refuses to play a game to help them choose what to watch."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Action. Joey Tribbiani : Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel? Ross Geller : Dude, you are sick. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing. Rachel Green : Oh my God! What does that thing do? Monica Geller : Oh that's an eye removal machine. Rachel Green : All right, I'm outta here! Monica Geller : I'm kidding! I'm kidding! The Doctor : Hi Rachel! Rachel Green : Hey!", "summary": "Ross and Joey engage in a heated conversation about who Rachel would be better off with. Monica interrupts to reveal an \"eye removal machine\" (a joke), but Rachel quickly exits the room. The Doctor enters and greets Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "The Doctor : I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were a little nervous, but don't worry everything's gonna be just fine. Rachel Green : So were done then! Dr. Miller : Almost! But first, we gotta start. Rachel Green : Okay. Dr. Miller : This is a glaucoma test. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Dr. Miller : Sit down. Rachel Green : Okay. Dr. Miller : But your chin here. Now, you'll feel a small puff of air in each eye. Rachel Green : What?!", "summary": "The Doctor (Dr. Miller) performs a glaucoma test on Rachel Green, who becomes nervous and resistant to the procedure."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : A small puff of air, now come on! Dr. Miller : Here we go. Rachel Green : All right. Dr. Miller : 1...2...3! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. Okay. Dr. Miller : Ready? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Dr. Miller : 1...2... Monica Geller : Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head. Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Rachel Green gets a vasectomy and Monica Geller holds her head while Dr. Miller counts down before the procedure."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Miller : That's okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay! Dr. Miller : 1...2! Y'know what? You're young; you probably don't have glaucoma. Rachel Green : Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! Dr. Miller : Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new. Rachel Green : Yeah, no, I don't-I don't put things in my eye. Dr. Miller : Okay then, I guess we'll see you back here in three months. Rachel Green : Great! Dr. Miller : And I'll fit you for a glass eye.", "summary": "Rachel gets an eye exam and is told she has a small infection in her left eye. The doctor prescribes drops to treat the infection, but Rachel is hesitant to put them in her eye. The doctor jokes about fitting her for a glass eye."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, just give me the damn drops! Monica Geller : Dr. Miller? P E C F D. Dr. Miller : Very good Monica! You know where they are. Monica Geller : I sure do! And you don't get one! Rachel Green : Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better. Monica Geller : They're still in my coat. Rachel Green : Damn! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You ready to go? Chandler Bing : Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough?", "summary": "Rachel's eye drops are a miracle cure for her infection. Monica has them but won't give them to Rachel. Chandler and Joey prepare for a cold outing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : I love you. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him! Phoebe Buffay : Thanks a lot! I just got that jerk out of my mind! Chandler Bing : Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite? Joey Tribbiani : Uh no, not really. It's an independent film y'know? So we don't have a real big budget. I figured I'd just stay in your room. Chandler Bing : I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket. Chandler Bing : So you don't get paid unless the movie makes money? Joey Tribbiani : Did you not hear the plot of the movie? \"She's been dead for ten years.\" I'm gonna be a millionaire!", "summary": "Monica confesses her love to Chandler. Joey wishes Ross was coming with them, and Phoebe expresses frustration with someone in her mind. Joey offers to stay in Chandler's room since they don't have a big budget for hotels. Joey reveals he doesn't get paid unless the movie makes money, and the plot of the movie is about a woman who has been dead for ten years, making Joey a potential millionaire."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15. Joey Tribbiani : You got it! Ross Geller : All right! Chandler Bing : All right, bye-bye now! Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Rachel Green : Bye you guys! Joey Tribbiani : Bye-bye! Monica Geller : I wanna say good-bye at the car!", "summary": "Ross places a bet on a horse race and asks his friends to place a little wager for him. They agree and say their goodbyes as they depart for the racetrack."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Anybody want to say good-bye to me at the car? Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'll say good-bye to you at the car if you don't mind the puss. Joey Tribbiani : See ya! Rachel Green : Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? Pheebs? Hello? Phoebe? Phoe-Phoebe! Come on! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there. Ross Geller : Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did! Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you don't know I can't help you. Ross Geller : Well, I don't know.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey say goodbye at the car, while Ross talks to Phoebe about a book he is reading."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, I can't help you. Ross Geller : Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Apology accepted. Ross Geller : Okay. So we're, we're good? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : All right. I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay? Phoebe Buffay : Bye, fat ass. Ross Geller : ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me! Phoebe Buffay : I don't know! I don't remember! Ross Geller : Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe have a conversation about something that made Phoebe angry at Ross, but they both forget what it was."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I am mad at you. I know that much. But, I am sorry about the fat ass thing. You actually have a very sweet little hiney. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon. Chandler Bing : We've been driving for a half-hour, and you haven't looked at the road once. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, it's out there! I think I just need lunch. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You wanna eat? My treat! Chandler Bing : Isn't that Ross's money? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Okay. Ross's treat! Where do you wanna eat? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!", "summary": "Ross pays for lunch but Joey and Chandler argue over where they should eat."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, uhh, would you rather be too wet or too dry? Chandler Bing : Too dry. Joey Tribbiani : Do you believe in ghosts, yes or no? Chandler Bing : No! Joey Tribbiani : Is this movie gonna be my big break? Chandler Bing : No! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Chandler Bing : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Dude you said, \"No!\"", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani have a conversation about preferring different states of moisture, followed by a discussion on ghosts and whether or not this movie will be Joey's big break. Chandler initially says no, but then contradicts himself by saying yes."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I also said, \"Yes!\" Joey Tribbiani : You don't think this is going to be a big break for me? Chandler Bing : No! Ahhh!!! Joey Tribbiani : I don't believe this! Chandler Bing : Look Joe, I just, I just don't want to get your hopes up real high. Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie! Chandler Bing : They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? I don't need this! Okay? I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break. Chandler Bing : Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break. Joey Tribbiani : Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani gets a lead role in a movie, but Chandler Bing doesn't think it will be a big break for him and tries to bring him down. Joey gets upset and feels like Chandler is dumping on his opportunity."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, you don't want me on the trip? Joey Tribbiani : Not if you're gonna be like this! Chandler Bing : All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I don't want you on the trip! Chandler Bing : All right, fine! Fine! Why don't you pull over? I'll get out right now! Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Get out! Chandler Bing : You're not actually supposed to stop on the bridge. Joey Tribbiani : Get out!! Chandler Bing : All right!! Wait! Wait, there's no sidewalk! Yeah, I'm gonna die here. Ross Geller : Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani have a disagreement about Chandler joining them on a trip. They argue and Chandler threatens to leave the car. Ross Geller interrupts and asks if Chandler is mad at him because of his hair gel smell."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No. Ross Geller : Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike? Phoebe Buffay : No that made me feel precious. Monica Geller : Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who! Ross Geller : Yeah? Sometimes it's... Rachel Green : Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose. Ross Geller : Okay, I'm the baby. Rachel Green : Eh! Stop it! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Chandler! What are you doing here?", "summary": "Ross corrects someone's grammar, leading to a conflict with Phoebe. Monica and Rachel join in, with Rachel bringing up a previous board game loss. Chandler unexpectedly appears."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Joey kicked me out of the car on the George Washington bridge! #ALL# : Why?! Chandler Bing : I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast. Phoebe Buffay : That game should not be played without my supervision. Chandler Bing : Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge. Phoebe Buffay : What's in the bag? Chandler Bing : Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. Who wants the teddy bear with one leg? Phoebe Buffay : I do! Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Joey kicked Ross out of the car on the George Washington bridge during a game where they ask questions quickly without thinking; Chandler got in trouble after saying something insulting about a movie, which made Joey angry and he kicked Ross out of the car. Meanwhile, Phoebe brought gifts found on the side of the road for the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Not even close. Rachel Green : Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this! Monica Geller : Okay! All right! Let's do it! Rachel Green : All right! Monica Geller : Sit down. Rachel Green : All right. Monica Geller : Put your head back. Rachel Green : Yes! Monica Geller : All right. Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Rachel needs help with something and asks Monica for assistance. Monica agrees to help her sit down and relax."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Now, open your eyes. Rachel Green : Okay, they are. Monica Geller : How many fingers am I holding up? Rachel Green : Four. Monica Geller : Oh my God, I was thinking four. Rachel Green : Really?! Monica Geller : Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay? Rachel Green : Okay! Monica Geller : No drops! Rachel Green : Great!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel play a game where Monica holds up different numbers of fingers and asks Rachel to guess. They start with four fingers and Rachel correctly guesses. Monica suggests they do a practice run before moving on to more complex numbers."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : On three, 1...2...3! Now my pillow's all wet! Rachel Green : Well, well, you said it was practice! Monica Geller : Then why did you move?! Rachel Green : Because I knew you were lying! Monica Geller : All right, come here! Rachel Green : What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! Monica Geller : I am going... I'm going--Turn it over! I'm... I am going to get these drops in your eyes. Rachel Green : Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel engage in a pillow fight, with Monica accidentally getting Rachel's face wet. They argue over who started the fight, with Rachel accusing Monica of lying. The conflict escalates until Monica threatens to put drops in Rachel's eyes."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Monica! Stop it! Monica Geller : Damn! It's empty! Rachel Green : Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. Or-or Rachel! Monica Geller : Hello? It's Joey. I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it. Joey Tribbiani : Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests! Monica Geller : What did you do to his sweater vests? Joey Tribbiani : Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car. Monica Geller : Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, dude!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica come up with an idea to profit from Joey and Chandler walking in on them, but Phoebe thinks it might be one of them (Rachel or Monica) instead. Joey reveals he did something with Chandler's sweater vests, and then asks for Phoebe to pass along a message to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's my grandma. And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. Chandler Bing : Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him! Phoebe Buffay : Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering... Okay, I guess he ran out of change. Chandler Bing : Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me? Monica Geller : Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry. Chandler Bing : That's a good idea. I wonder where I could get a basket of porn... Phoebe Buffay : No, don't-don't say I'm sorry with porn! Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.", "summary": "Chandler runs out of change and is unable to apologize to Joey in person, so Monica suggests sending an apology gift instead. However, Chandler mistakenly suggests sending a basket of pornography, which Phoebe rejects. Instead, they decide on a cartoon of cigarettes as a way for Chandler to make amends with Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Ross Geller : What do you like better flora or fauna? Phoebe Buffay : Fauna. Ross Geller : Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle? Phoebe Buffay : Garfunkle. Ross Geller : Why are you mad at me? Phoebe Buffay : You said I was boring--Ohh! Ross Geller : When did I say you were boring?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, I remember now! We were playing chess!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe have a conversation about their preferences, with Ross asking Phoebe what she likes better, flora or fauna. Phoebe responds that she prefers fauna, and Ross asks her who she would rather be, Simon or Garfunkle. Phoebe chooses Garfunkle, and Ross becomes defensive when he realizes he called Phoebe boring earlier in the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Phoebe! You and I have never played chess! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, come on! Yes, remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing chess, you said I was boring, and then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz! Okay, there's a chance this may have been a dream. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work. Stanley : Umm, slight change of plans. We've shut down. Joey Tribbiani : Wh-what?! Why?! Stanley : It's a money thing, we don't have any. Joey Tribbiani : You're kidding right? Stanley : No. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Stanley : It-it's probably just temporary. We're hoping to get some more money soon, so if could just uh, hang out.", "summary": "Phoebe and Ross play chess on a frozen lake, but it turns out to be a dream. Joey tries to get work done with Stanley, but they shut down due to lack of funds."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hang out?! How long? Stanley : I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya? Joey Tribbiani : No! Stanley : Eh, worth a shot. Look Joey, let me know where you're staying, okay? The Grip : Hey pal, are you Joey Tribbiani? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. The Grip : These got left for ya. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Congratulations on your big break. Monica Geller : Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica, it's Joey!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Stanley discuss a possible movie investment opportunity, with Stanley expressing uncertainty about the duration of the project. They also exchange banter about Joey's wealth and living arrangements. Later, Joey receives a delivery from an unknown person, which he thanks the Grip for. Finally, Monica Geller greets Joey with excitement about his potential break in the film industry."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey Joey! Aww, you remembered even though you're a big star! Joey Tribbiani : Aw, come on! It'll be years before I forget you! Monica Geller : Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'. The Husband : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Everybody smile! Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! Kill me. Kill me now. Ross Geller : Hey Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide? Rachel Green : Yep! Monica Geller : Go!!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani brags about his movie set experiences and asks Monica Geller to tell Chandler Bing he's wrong. Joey then suddenly leaves to pick up sushi. Ross Geller joins the conversation and asks Monica for the TV Guide, while Rachel Green passes it to him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God! Monica Geller : Okay! Okay! Okay! We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours. Rachel Green : Oh! Rachel Green : Pheebs? Could you get that? Please? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie? Rachel Green : No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Rachel Green : Sucker! Phoebe Buffay : Hello? Hey Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are getting ready to leave, but Rachel wants Phoebe to get something for her. Phoebe refuses, leading to a funny exchange between the two friends. Joey then calls and asks Phoebe to retrieve his ATM pin number for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Where is it? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! So you're 5639?! Joey Tribbiani : That's it! Thanks Pheebs! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler? Chandler Bing : Is that Joey?! Let me talk to him! Joey Tribbiani : No! Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real! A Casino Boss : Hey! Tribbiani! Get back to work! Break time's over! Phoebe Buffay : Who was that?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey scratches a movie ticket on an ATM machine, and Phoebe discovers it. Joey tries to convince Chandler to talk to him, but Chandler is skeptical. The Casino Boss interrupts their conversation and tells Joey to get back to work."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Don't come out here! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person! Joey Tribbiani : I got that! I forgive ya! Don't come out here! Chandler Bing : Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!", "summary": "Chandler tries to apologize to his stunt double for not accepting his phone call earlier. However, when he goes to see him in person, Joey forgives him and tells him not to come near him."}
-{"dialogues": "A Tourist : Would you mind doing a picture with us? Chandler Bing : Uh, what was that? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Entertainment Tonight. Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. Phoebe Buffay : Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! Monica? Monica Geller : Phoebe? Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long? Phoebe Buffay : It's okay. What the hell took you so long? Monica Geller : Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard. Phoebe Buffay : Which Richard? Monica Geller : The Richard. Phoebe Buffay : Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!", "summary": "Plot Summary: A tourist asks to take a photo with the friends, but Chandler is confused and Joey interrupts with a mention of Entertainment Tonight. Phoebe arrives late and Monica apologizes for running into Richard (Simmons)."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Noo! My ex-boyfriend Richard! Y'know the tall guy, moustache? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it? Monica Geller : It was, it was really nice. We started talking and I-I ended up having lunch with him. Phoebe Buffay : That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard. Monica Geller : Really? Phoebe Buffay : But again, Simmons. Go on. Monica Geller : The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler? Monica Geller : Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I can't believe you guys lasted a whole year!", "summary": "Monica had lunch with her ex-boyfriend Richard, who she hadn't seen in years and didn't feel anything for him despite finding him attractive. Phoebe had a dream about it and wants to tell Chandler, but Monica doesn't want to ruin their anniversary."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : On a totally different bet. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : It's almost our anniversary! Chandler Bing : I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler. Chandler Bing : Huh. Monica Geller : I got you a present!", "summary": "Monica owes Rachel money, Phoebe owes someone else money, and Chandler and Monica are celebrating their anniversary."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, but it's not 'til tomorrow! Monica Geller : I know, but you have to open it today! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas! Chandler Bing : Wow! Monica Geller : For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary. Chandler Bing : Do we have to? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there. Monica Geller : Oh, he just doesn't want us to go through any trouble. Think of how excited he'll be when we go out and surprise him! Plus we get to have our own, ani-Vegas-ary! A-Nevadaversary!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Monica plan a surprise trip to Vegas for their anniversary, despite Joey's initial reluctance."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think we should see other people. Monica Geller : But we can go, right? Chandler Bing : Yes. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : It's a great idea. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm gonna go too! Chandler Bing : Y'know Pheebs, it's kinda our anniversary. Phoebe Buffay : Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London. Monica Geller : Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, great story! I'm going!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica decide to see other people, but Phoebe objects since it's their anniversary."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?! Rachel Green : Well, I guess I could take a couple days off work. Phoebe Buffay : Of course you can take a couple days off work because this trip includes me! Rachel Green : Oh no, wait a minute, wait, I've got a presentation tomorrow. I can't miss that. Ross Geller : Oh, but I've got tickets to the Van Gogh exhibit! I've been waiting like a year for this. Chandler Bing : Art lover! Ross Geller : What'd you say?", "summary": "Joey is surprising the gang in Las Vegas, and they are all excited to go. However, Rachel has a work presentation and Phoebe wants her to come along, while Ross is determined to attend a Van Gogh exhibit he's been waiting for. Chandler pokes fun at Ross's enthusiasm for art."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I said art lover. Ross Geller : Is that supposed to be an insult? Chandler Bing : I don't know, I'm very tired. Ross Geller : So Rach, maybe you and I could fly out together Saturday. Rachel Green : That sounds great. Ross Geller : Yeah? All right I'll call the airlines. Rachel Green : Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, so you can walk around naked. Rachel Green : No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time. Phoebe Buffay : Naked alone time.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over Ross's suggestion to fly out together on Saturday. Rachel agrees to go with Ross but only for some alone time. Phoebe teases Rachel about her desire for alone time."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesn't mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door? Phoebe Buffay : So, so far is this trip to Vegas better or worse than the trip to London? Chandler Bing : So it's pretty much the same Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, what about after I give you these candies? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I guess it's a little better now. Phoebe Buffay : Ah-ha! Okay, Las Vegas 1, London 0! I'll be right back. Chandler Bing : Happy plane-aversary. Monica Geller : Aww! I love you! Chandler Bing : Can I give you a present now?", "summary": "In Las Vegas, Rachel and Phoebe debate whether it's appropriate to walk around naked when alone, while Chandler weighs in on their conversation. Monica gives Chandler a hug and asks if he wants to give her a present."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Oh man! Don't tell me I did this! Monica Geller : I love the \"I forgot the present\" fake out! Chandler Bing : How do you feel about the, \"I really did forgot the present, please forgive me\" not fake out? Monica Geller : Oh that's okay. Don't worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back. Chandler Bing : Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever! Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing. Chandler Bing : What-what Richard thing? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Chandler Bing : What Richard thing?", "summary": "Chandler forgets a present for Monica on their anniversary and tries to cover it up with a fake excuse, but Monica is understanding and tells him to give her the present when they get back. Meanwhile, Phoebe reveals that there is something Chandler wants to tell Monica about Richard, but he has no idea what it is."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Simmons! Go with Simmons! Monica Geller : Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary. Chandler Bing : I'm not mad. Monica Geller : Really?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Yeah, so you-you bumped into Richard! You grabbed a bite! It's no big deal. Monica Geller : Great! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, London 1... Rachel Green : Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen...naked! I'm picking up an orange. I'm naked! Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. Ross Geller : Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokes-Unless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I? Rachel Green : Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya, baby! Darnit! Ugh.", "summary": "Ross sees Rachel naked while she's in their kitchen, leading to a series of reactions and jokes about her game-playing and his lack of self-control."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : May I come in? Rachel Green : Uh, yeah, if you want too. Ross Geller : Do you want me too? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure? Ross Geller : So do I. Okay Rach, before anything happens I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of \"Us.\" Okay? I just want this to be about what it is! Rachel Green : And um, what-what is that Ross? Ross Geller : The physical act of love. Rachel Green : What?! Are you crazy? Ross Geller : Oh so-so you weren't trying to entice me just now with your-your nakedness?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past relationship and whether or not they should engage in physical intimacy. Ross lays down ground rules and Rachel expresses confusion and hesitation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh God, you saw me?! Oh! Ross Geller : You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness. Rachel Green : Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?! Ross Geller : No! No! No! No-no-no-no. Rachel Green : Ohh wow! I'm sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes! Ross Geller : Can we, can we just forget this ever happened? Rachel Green : Yes of course, absolutely! You're right. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Yes. Ross Geller : All right I guess I'm, gonna go pack.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a misunderstanding about their nakedness in front of each other, leading to awkwardness and embarrassment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Oh wait! One more thing umm, do-do we still need to uh settle the question of \"us?\" Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys wait! Guys! This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh! Monica Geller : Phoebe, you don't eat animals. Phoebe Buffay : For 99 cents, I'd eat you. Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! Oh! Look! Hi! Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey! Hey! Hey!! Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Chandler Bing : Love your condoms my man. Joey Tribbiani : What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come. Phoebe Buffay : Why are you dressed as a gladiator?", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nRachel and Phoebe discuss \"us\" while dining at a restaurant. Monica mentions that Phoebe doesn't eat meat, to which Phoebe replies she would eat something else for 99 cents. Joey enters and Chandler teases him about his condoms. Phoebe notices Joey is dressed as a gladiator and asks why he thought it was okay to come despite previously telling him not to."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break. Monica Geller : Who are you talking too? Joey Tribbiani : They uh director. Uhh, her. All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here. Chandler Bing : Why?! What happened?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does. Monica Geller : I'm so sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. I'm sorry man. Chandler Bing : No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody. Monica Geller : I knew you were not okay with that. Phoebe Buffay : So you're a gladiator! Wow!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is shooting a scene for a movie but doesn't want to continue due to his friends being there. He works at the location until the movie starts up again, if it ever does."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what-what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Monica had lunch with Richard. Joey Tribbiani : Dawson?! Phoebe Buffay : Noo! But that would've been so cool! Chandler Bing : No! Her boyfriend Richard! Monica Geller : It meant nothing! Okay? After all this time, how can you not trust me? Chandler Bing : When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it! Monica Geller : You're right. I'm sorry. I should've told you. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Aww, there we go.", "summary": "Monica had lunch with Richard, a guy she used to date. Phoebe found out and was excited about the possibility of her sister dating him again, but Monica clarified that nothing romantic happened between them. Chandler is upset because he didn't know about the lunch and feels left out."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I love Vegas! Monica Geller : I promise you, next time I will absolutely tell you. Chandler Bing : Next time? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, so close. Chandler Bing : There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again! Monica Geller : I can not see him? I mean, you can't tell me what to do! Chandler Bing : That's so funny, because I think I just did! Monica Geller : Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you. Chandler Bing : Fine with me! Monica Geller : Fine! Happy Anniversary!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are celebrating their anniversary, but Chandler is acting distant and uninterested. Monica becomes upset and tells him he can't just shut her out like that. Chandler responds by saying he doesn't want to be around her if he's going to be \"acting like this all night.\" Monica threatens to leave, but Chandler tells her to go ahead and Happy Anniversary."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Whoa! Guys! Please! Come on! Come on! This is obviously just a big misunderstanding. Monica Geller : No it is not! Chandler Bing : What are you talking... Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey don't look at me! I just work here! Rachel Green : Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love. Ross Geller : Yep! That's hilarious! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm done. I'm done. Ross Geller : Y'know, last night was embarrassing for you too. Rachel Green : No, not really. I mean you've seen me naked hundreds of times. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over their relationship; Joey and Chandler make fun of Monica; Monica gets upset and takes off her sweater."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily. Ross Geller : What?! You totally get embarrassed! Rachel Green : No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are. Ross Geller : Is that so? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know in Roman times this was more than just a hat. Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right... Chandler Bing : Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about who is more embarrassed, while Joey discusses the historical uses of a particular hat with Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today. Chandler Bing : Whoa! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, he was playing blackjack for like an hour and he won $5,000. Can you believe that? $5,000! Chandler Bing : Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again! Chandler Bing : Good luck! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through! Chandler Bing : I see. Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks.", "summary": "Joey wins $100 and decides to turn it into $5,000 by following the example of a man who won big at blackjack. Chandler doubts Joey's plan, but Monica and Phoebe express support."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I can't believe this! This is like the worst night ever! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. I am so sorry. Monica Geller : This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again. Phoebe Buffay : So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him. Monica Geller : Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Yeah! Las Vegas, number one! Monica Geller : Anybody lose this? The Croupier : Comin' out. Place your bet. Dice are out. Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! Monica Geller : Hmm. Guy : So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are hanging out when Monica reveals that she had a fight with Chandler. Phoebe encourages Monica to go fix things with Chandler, but Monica is hesitant. Eventually, Monica decides to take Phoebe's advice and goes to find Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, all right. All right! Just keep walkin'! All right? Rachel Green : Ross! What are you... I'm sorry sir. I just, I think he just really likes you. Ross Geller : Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? Ross Geller : What the? What... Rachel Green : Hi! The Flight Attendant : Miss? May I help you? Rachel Green : Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident. Joey Tribbiani : Can I change a hundred? Blackjack Dealer : Changing one hundred! Good luck sir. Joey Tribbiani : Let's ride.", "summary": "Ross likes Rachel, but she walks away. Joey wants to change a $100 bill."}
-{"dialogues": "Blackjack Dealer : 13. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me! Ohh man! Wait! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin! Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : My identical hand twin! Chandler Bing : What's an identical hand twin? Joey Tribbiani : What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror! Chandler Bing : Are you sure you weren't looking at your hands in a mirror? Joey Tribbiani : Don't you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire! Chandler Bing : How?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey finds his identical hand twin at a blackjack table and becomes convinced he will become a millionaire."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands! Chandler Bing : Again I must go back to, how? Joey Tribbiani : This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand twice? Huh? Chandler Bing : Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, are you unsupporting me again? Chandler Bing : No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs!! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : I found my identical hand twin!", "summary": "Identical hand twins. Million-dollar idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, you are so lucky! Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up? Chandler Bing : No! Phoebe Buffay : But she just came up here! Chandler Bing : That was Joey! Phoebe Buffay : I wonder where she is. That is so weird. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard. Phoebe Buffay : Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you! Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are not speaking after their argument, while Chandler tries to help Phoebe locate Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Good. I should really start wearing hats! The Flight Attendant : Welcome to Las Vegas. The Flight Attendant : Thank you! Enjoy your flight? Rachel Green : Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. The Flight Attendant : Hope you had a nice flight. Ross Geller : Ohh, it was the best! Ross Geller : I think the check in is that way. Rachel Green : Ahh. Rachel Green : Hello! Ohh, kids love me. Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a flight from New York to Las Vegas, with several passengers on board, including Rachel Green and Ross Geller. The Flight Attendant welcomes everyone on board and checks in with them, while Phoebe Buffay suggests that she should start wearing hats. Rachel and Ross have a nice flight, and Ross is excited to show Rachel the check-in area."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : You guys are here! Yay! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? and you're Bob Saget. Rachel Green : Pancho Vila? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : What are you talking about Pheebs? I don't... Oh my God, you drew on me?! Ross Geller : Hey, you wet my pants! Phoebe Buffay : Whoa, what kind of party was this? Rachel Green : Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I can-you have so crossed a line.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel arrive at a party, while Ross has an accident. Phoebe dresses as Pancho Villa and draws on Rachel, who is confused and upset."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. Phoebe Buffay : Ugh! Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing. Ross Geller : Oooohhh, I'll bet she's one of those people. Phoebe Buffay : M-M-Mole people? Ross Geller : What? No-no, a lurker. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. What's a lurker? Ross Geller : Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then... Phoebe Buffay : Kills you?", "summary": "Plot Summary: A conversation about a woman who keeps winning on a machine that Ross and Phoebe are playing, leading Ross to suspect she may be a \"lurker\" who waits for others to give up before killing them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No. They swoop in and steal your jackpot. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh! Ross Geller : Uh-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : How do you know about this? Ross Geller : My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dance-karate lessons. Phoebe Buffay : Dance karate? Ross Geller : Yes, it's a deadly but beautiful sport. Rachel Green : All right, it won't come off! Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : It won't come off!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Ross's grandmother using a gambling strategy to win at slot machines, which she passed on to him. Phoebe expresses surprise and curiosity, while Rachel joins in, doubting the effectiveness of the method."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure? Rachel Green : No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey you made it! Ross Geller : Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Hey-hey! Rachel Green : Hi!! Joey Tribbiani : Who's your friend? He's hot! Ross Geller : Thanks man. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about her drawing on her face, while Joey enters the room and greets them. Ross apologizes for something related to a movie."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin! Ross Geller : Your what? Joey Tribbiani : My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine! Ross Geller : What?! That's not gonna make you any money! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb. Monica Geller : All right baby, come on! Yes! Yes! I am on fire! Chandler Bing : See you later Mon. Monica Geller : Wait Chandler, what are you doing?! Chandler Bing : What does it look like? I'm going home. Monica Geller : What? Wait! Why? Chandler! Chandler! Wait! I'm sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!", "summary": "Joey finds his identical hand twin and plans to use them for financial gain. Ross disagrees and Monica tries to convince Chandler to stay."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Come on! I was there! I know he's the love of your life. Monica Geller : Not any more. Chandler Bing : Really?! Monica Geller : Really! All right? Let's forget about this going home stuff and celebrate our anniversary. Okay, this is empty. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, hey. Where's the other guy? The Woman Dealer : Which guy? Joey Tribbiani : He's kinda tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this. See? The Woman Dealer : I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! How you doin'?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler celebrate their anniversary, but Monica reveals she no longer loves him. Chandler tries to make a dramatic scene, but hates packing. Joey enters and mistakenly assumes the other man in the room is the one he's looking for."}
-{"dialogues": "The Woman Dealer : Very busy. Joey Tribbiani : Right! Okay. Ross Geller : Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. A beard and a moustache. Thank you. No, she didn't think so. I know it's like anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh! Okay. Okay, thank you! Yeah, it's not coming off. Rachel Green : What?! What else did he say? Ross Geller : Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So... Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it. Rachel Green : Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this! Ross Geller : Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad. Rachel Green : Ross, I am a human doodle!! Ross Geller : Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! There are tons...of...freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear! Ross Geller : Okay, there was some staring and pointing.", "summary": "Ross accidentally draws a beard and mustache on Rachel's face with a pen, which she is not pleased about. They try to remove it but nothing works, so Ross suggests they go downstairs and have some fun to forget about it. However, Rachel refuses to leave the room looking like this and insists on finding a solution."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, I need a, I need a drink! Ross Geller : Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. But who cares?! Because it's all on me! That is, one big drink! Rachel Green : Macadamia nut? Ross Geller : Umm... Wow! That's-that's some pricey nut! Rachel Green : Hm-mmm! Ross Geller : Really like those Macadamia nuts, huh? Rachel Green : Nope! Phoebe Buffay : Get out of here you lurker! Go on! Get! Chandler Bing : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! You made up!", "summary": "Ross offers to buy drinks for Rachel and Macadamia nuts are expensive. Phoebe enters and tells Ross to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, I couldn't be mad at him for too long. Chandler Bing : Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, get a room. Monica Geller : We have one. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Use it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh-oh, yeah! That's right, you take good care of those babies! Joey's Hand Twin : Excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : It's me, Joey! Joey's Hand Twin : Do I know you? Joey Tribbiani : Joey!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a secret relationship. Phoebe teases them, while Joey and his hand twin (a separate entity from Joey) get involved."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey's Hand Twin : Oh-ho, yeah. Yeah, the hand guy. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?! Joey's Hand Twin : Nothing? Joey Tribbiani : Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us! Joey's Hand Twin : I have to get back to... Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand! Joey's Hand Twin : That's okay. Joey Tribbiani : But you haven't even heard the chorus! Rachel Green : Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel. Ross Geller : All right. Y'know what? We don't have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. 13.", "summary": "Joey and his hand twin discuss their unique situation and potential career opportunities, including hand modeling and magic shows. Joey writes a song for them to perform together, but they get confused about whose hands are whose. Rachel worries about aging and Ross suggests playing cards instead of going downstairs."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hit me! Ross Geller : Oohh, 23. Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! Rachel Green : I bet 20. Ross Geller : You're right! Monica Geller : A new pair of shoes for the Chan-Chan man! Yes! Chandler Bing : Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life! Monica Geller : That's right baby! Okay, what do I want now? Chandler Bing : Okay, ah umm, ah, a 8. Ah, a 6? Monica Geller : Pick a number! That is your only job! Chandler Bing : 8. 8!", "summary": "Ross wins $10 at a casino and Rachel bets $20. Monica suggests buying a new pair of shoes for Chan-Chan with the winnings, but Chandler disagrees. Chandler then randomly chooses a number between 6 and 8."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Thank you! Chandler Bing : If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner! #ALL# : Yay!! The Croupier : 8! Monica Geller : Yes! #ALL# : Yay!! Monica Geller : We're not really gonna buy these people steak dinners are we? Chandler Bing : Noo! Monica Geller : Okay, good! Okay, what do I want now? Chandler Bing : Ahh, ooh, try a hard 8.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are playing a game of craps with a group of friends. Monica thanks Chandler for getting her number, and he offers to buy everyone dinner if they get a certain roll. The group cheers and Monica clarifies that they don't actually plan to buy dinner for everyone. Chandler then suggests trying a hard 8, which Monica agrees to do."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Two fours. Monica Geller : Okay. The Croupier : 8!: A Drunken Gambler : Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy! Chandler Bing : Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! Wait-wait-wait-wait! We get the biggest suite in the place. Monica Geller : All right, biggest suite in the place. Come on! Chandler Bing : Yes!! I love you! I can't even remember what we were fighting about! Monica Geller : Oh, that's because I had lunch with Rich-Me neither! Okay, what do I want now? Chandler Bing : Another hard 8.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are playing roulette in a casino. Chandler wins big and they celebrate by getting the largest suite in the hotel. However, their argument is quickly forgotten as they continue to play and win."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hard 8?! We should call it easy 8! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; and we get married here tonight. Drunken Gambler : Go! Come on! Roll! #ALL# : Roll-roll!! Monica Geller : Shut up!! It just got interesting! Monica Geller : What did you just say? Chandler Bing : You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight. Monica Geller : Are you serious?! Chandler Bing : Yes! I love you! I've never loved anybody as much as I love you. Monica Geller : I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler get married after rolling a hard eight in a game of craps."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say? Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right! Chandler Bing : Okay! That's a four! And where-where's the other one? Drunken Gambler : It went under the table. Monica Geller : Nobody move! Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way! Chandler Bing : All right! Chandler Bing : Here it is! Here it is! Monica Geller : That could be a four or a five. It's your call. Chandler Bing : It's a four.", "summary": "* Chandler and Monica play a game of chance in Las Vegas where they look for signs to determine the outcome of their rolls.\n* Chandler mentions a movie he saw where people looked for signs to determine the outcome of their gambling rolls.\n* Monica and Chandler find a number on the table, but it goes under the table before they can see it.\n* Monica suggests they both look in different directions to try and find the hidden number.\n* Chandler identifies a number on the table as a four or five, and Monica agrees with his call."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I think so too. Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, lost again. That's it! You and me, outside! The Lurker : I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair! Phoebe Buffay : Be cool! Okay lady, your lurking days are over! The Lurker : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave? The Lurker : Also Monday. Phoebe Buffay : What time? Maybe we can share a cab! Rachel Green : Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Ross Geller : We need more cards.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica challenge The Lurker to a game of lurk-off, with Phoebe vowing to be one step ahead of The Lurker every time. Meanwhile, Rachel joins in on the fun and Ross tries to contribute by providing more cards."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. Whup, okay. Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial! Ross Geller : That must be our alcohol and beers! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey! Rachel Green : Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate! Ross Geller : I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I'm fine! Thanks! Hey Rach, how you doin'?", "summary": "Ross, Rachel, and Joey go to Vegas and want more alcohol and beer. Joey has a hand twin who is difficult to convince. Ross offers to help, but ends up injuring himself while trying to assist."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : Ross, don't let her drink anymore! Ross Geller : Ohh, here's that Macadamia nut! Rachel Green : Ohhh!! Ross Geller : Nope! Something else. Rachel Green : Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now? Ross Geller : I wanna get out of the room! Y'know, I...I really miss downstairs. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room. Ross Geller : Well hello! I'm Ross! Rachel Green : Good luck to ya!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are in a hotel room together, where they engage in a series of absurd conversations and events, including Joey trying to prevent Rachel from drinking too much and Ross expressing his desire to leave the room. In the end, Rachel decides to leave the room, while Ross wishes her luck."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. Rachel Green : Wow! Ross Geller : Hello! Rachel Green : Hello! Rachel Green : Hello! Phoebe Buffay : I won! I won! I finally won! The Lurker : I won! That was my quarter! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Here! Take a hike toots! The Lurker : Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. The Security Guard : Is that true miss?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation while Phoebe wins a game of quarters from an unknown opponent (The Lurker). Phoebe gets upset when the Lurker tries to take her money, and a security guard becomes involved."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Sells drugs to kids. The Security Guard : What?! Phoebe Buffay : She sells drugs to kids. The Lurker : It was my quarter! The Security Guard : Was it her quarter? Phoebe Buffay : How about we talk about this over dinner? The Security Guard : Okay lady, you're out of here. Phoebe Buffay : No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!! The Security Guard : I'm just taking you outside! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay sells drugs to kids, but a security guard catches her and she tries to talk her way out of it. The security guard eventually arrests her and takes her outside."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Chandler Bing : Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new. Monica Geller : You're so efficient. I love you! Chandler Bing : Let's go! Monica Geller : No-no-no! We need something old! Chandler Bing : Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve. Monica Geller : That'll work! Chandler Bing : I don't think so. Monica Geller : Okay, now we just need something borrowed! Chandler Bing : Here just...take this.", "summary": "Monica wants to get married but insists on having something old, new, borrowed, and blue at her wedding. Chandler provides a blue condom he's had since he was 12, which Monica approves of as \"something old.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's stealing! Chandler Bing : No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress. Monica Geller : Ohh. Chandler Bing : Okay, one thing at a time. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh! Joey's Hand Twin : Are you gonna play? Joey Tribbiani : No-no, I don't really have any money. Not yet, anyway... Joey's Hand Twin : You can't sit here if you're not gonna play. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ho-ho! Phoebe Buffay : Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler try to steal a dress from a store, but Joey finds out and gets upset. Phoebe enters the scene and introduces herself as Regina Phalange, a businesswoman in town on work."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey's Hand Twin : 14. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world. Joey's Hand Twin : Stop it! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table? Joey's Hand Twin : Please stop it! Joey Tribbiani : Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue? Joey's Hand Twin : If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you! The Security Guard : Didn't I just throw you out of here? Phoebe Buffay : No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!", "summary": "Joey and his hand twin have identical hands, which they show to Phoebe. Joey asks if she would pay to see them in an entertainment venue, but his hand twin becomes angry and threatens to cut off their hand. Security throws out both Joey and Ms. Phalange (Phoebe)."}
-{"dialogues": "The Security Guard : Come on, lady! Joey's Hand Twin : Please, please take him too. Joey Tribbiani : Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! I'm your hand twin!! Chandler Bing : Hello! One marriage please! Monica Geller : Yep, we wanna get married! The Attendant : Well, there's a service in progress. Have a seat. Chandler Bing : All right. Chandler Bing : Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out?", "summary": "A security guard tries to take a man's hand twin, but the man refuses, insisting he's not giving up his hand twin. Meanwhile, a couple wants to get married, but there's a service in progress and they must wait their turn."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, only because that's the graduation song. Chandler Bing : Okay! This is it! We're gonna get married! Monica Geller : Are you sure you wanna do this? Ross Geller : Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! Rachel Green : Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! Rachel Green : Wait! Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! This is it! We're gonna get married! Monica Geller : Are you sure you wanna do this? Ross Geller : Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! Rachel Green : Well, hello, Mr. Rachel!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wait! Okay! Monica Geller : Whoa! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Come on Pheebs! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Okay! Okay! Chandler Bing : Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!! Attendant : N-No running in the chapel! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Don't you give me any of your-Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "* Rachel and Monica are getting married\n* Chandler exclaims \"Oh my God!\" multiple times\n* Joey is excited and urges Phoebe to hurry\n* An attendant tells the group not to run in the chapel"}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What are you guys doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isn't that why you guys are here? Chandler Bing : Yes! Well that-yes. Monica Geller : Why else would we be here? Joey Tribbiani : Well! What happened?! Did we miss it? Chandler Bing : We actually missed it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe you wouldn't have had you run in the chapel! Monica Geller : This is insane! Phoebe Buffay : What's the big deal, y'know? It's not like it's a real marriage. Chandler Bing : What?!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel got married without telling their friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, you're only married in Vegas. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas you're married everywhere. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!-Eh! Well... Rachel Green : Ohhh! Ross Geller : Why are we in bed together? Rachel Green : I don't know. Do-do you have any clothes on? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Really?!", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica argue about the legality of marriage in Vegas; Rachel and Ross are in bed together but can't remember why."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No! But we-we didn't have...sex-uh, did we? I mean, I don't remember much about last night, it was such a blur. Rachel Green : Oh! I remember laughing! I laughed a lot. Ross Geller : And we didn't have sex. Rachel Green : Ohh, I mean, we were really drunk. I'm just glad we didn't do anything stupid. Ross Geller : Tell me about it. Joey Tribbiani : Mornin' Pheebs. Well, my movie has officially been canceled. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Joey, I'm so sorry. You want some of my breakfast? Joey Tribbiani : Nah, I'm too depressed to eat. I'll probably eat in like 5 minutes. So I guess I'll just fly home with you guys, what time's your flight? Phoebe Buffay : What about my cab? Joey Tribbiani : I don't need that anymore.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel remember parts of their drunken night together, but they are unsure if they had sex or not. Joey's movie was canceled and he is feeling depressed, so he decides to fly home with Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back. Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to drive all the way back by myself, I get so lonely. Oh-ooh! How about you come with me? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, it's such a long trip. Joey Tribbiani : It'll be great! We-we could talk, and play games! Huh? This could be our chance to like renew our friendship. Phoebe Buffay : Are you asking me to have a frenaissance? Joey Tribbiani : Sure? Phoebe Buffay : All right. Although I don't think we need one, I never stopped loving you. Chandler Bing : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey.", "summary": "Joey borrows Phoebe's cab and offers to drive it back with her as company. Phoebe hesitates but agrees to go on the long trip. Joey proposes a \"frenaissance\" (a play on \"renaissance\") to renew their friendship, which Phoebe accepts despite initial reservations. Chandler interrupts their conversation and joins them for the trip."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet? Phoebe Buffay : Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any minute. Joey Tribbiani : Where is the waitress?! I'm starving! Chandler Bing : It's a buffet man. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, here's where I win all my money back! Chandler Bing : Listen, I gotta talk to you. Joey Tribbiani : Sure! What's up? Chandler Bing : Monica and I almost got married last night. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! That's huge! Wait a minute, why come I wasn't invited? And who was going to be your best man? Don't say, \"Ross.\" Do not say, \"Ross.\" Chandler Bing : Look, I just don't think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Y'know? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Y'know? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler almost got married, but Chandler isn't ready yet due to seeing Ross and Rachel getting married recently."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Tell her she's not marriage material. Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if she's anything like me, she's just gonna be relieved. Monica Geller : How do I tell Chandler that it's too soon. It's gonna break his heart, he's not gonna think that I don't love him anymore. Phoebe Buffay : Well you don't. Monica Geller : Yes I do! Phoebe Buffay : Good! Good! I was just testing you. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Oh hi! Hi! Y'know, we were just talking about bacon. Phoebe Buffay : No, we were talking about tennis. Tennis is more believable.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are in a relationship, but Monica thinks it's too soon to tell him she loves him. Joey and Phoebe discuss girls saying \"you're not marriage material\" to them, while Chandler tries to hide his heartbreak from Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! The Girls : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or... Rachel Green : I don't know. What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night. Ross Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch. Monica Geller : Rach! We weren't gonna miss our friends getting married! Rachel Green : Who got married?!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss what happened the previous night, with Rachel and Phoebe denying any knowledge of it. Monica reveals that Ross invited them all to watch their friends get married, which they weren't going to miss."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You did. Ross Geller : What?! Hello! We didn't get married. Rachel Green : No, we didn't get married! That's ridiculous! Ross Geller : We-we-we-I remember being in a chapel. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I-They would not let us get married when we were that drunk! Rachel Green : No! Joey Tribbiani : They let you get married when you're drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk! Phoebe Buffay : Hell, I'm drunk right now! What? I can't have a mimosa with breakfast?! I'm on vacation! Monica Geller : What are you guys gonna do?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel remember getting married in Vegas after being drunk, but they don't recall the details. Joey suggests that many people get married in Vegas while drunk, while Phoebe reveals she's already started drinking mimosas for breakfast on vacation. Monica tries to make sense of the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? Chandler Bing : Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this one's free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third one's free. Ross Geller : Laugh it up, but the joke's on you. Because we don't need to get divorced, okay? We we're just gonna get an annulment. Joey Tribbiani : An annulment? Ross! I don't think surgery's the answer here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh-oh, that's your thing. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : You're thing. You're thing. Y'know? You're the guy who gets divorced. #ALL# : Oh yeah! Ross Geller : No-no, that's-that's not my thing! I do not love getting divorced! Phoebe Buffay : Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much you're probably gonna marry it! Then it won't work out and you're gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. I'm so drunk.", "summary": "Ross wants a divorce, but his friends think he's joking when they learn that he already paid for two previous divorces."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So, what do you think we should do? Chandler Bing : I don't know. But I-I-I know I love you! Monica Geller : I know I love you! Chandler Bing : So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you. Monica Geller : That's a good question. Look umm, last night we let the dice decide. Maybe we should leave it up to fate again. I love you! Chandler Bing : Yes, we don't get married unless there's a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight then there's a definite sign that we should get married. Monica Geller : All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we don't get married. Chandler Bing : Sounds great. Monica Geller : Okay. Croupler : Coming in, we got a shooter! Money please.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler decide to leave their marriage fate up to dice rolls, with a sign indicating they should get married if they roll an 8 or higher. They agree to this plan after Monica suggests it, and Chandler agrees. However, just as they are about to roll the dice, Joey bursts into the room and interrupts them, asking for money."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ready? Chandler Bing : Ready! Monica Geller : Come on eight. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes eight. Croupler : Eight! Easy eight. Monica Geller : Wow! I can't believe I actually rolled an eight. Chandler Bing : That was so unlikely. Well, let's get married! I guess. Monica Geller : Wait a minute. That wasn't a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight. Chandler Bing : That's right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit! Monica Geller : I wanted it so bad! Wanna go pack?", "summary": "Monica rolls an 8, and Chandler jokes that they should get married. Monica corrects him that it wasn't a hard 8 and she already rolled one last night."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. We're doing the right thing, right? Monica Geller : Ohh, of course we are! We left it up to fate. If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. Come on Joey! You can't win if you don't ask any QUESTIONS!!! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, you promised me a fun road trip! We've been on the road six hours and you've been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper! Joey Tribbiani : All right. All right. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radio's broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice. Joey Tribbiani : Really? I don't... Phoebe Buffay : Sing!! Joey Tribbiani : I wanna rock and roll all night!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are deciding whether to get married after leaving their fate up to chance. Phoebe has 19 questions left and pressures Joey into singing while on a road trip."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! Hitchhiker : Morning! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, hubby! Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : I'm not going to do that. Rachel Green : Okay! So, we'll just stay married. Ross Geller : Yes, exactly! Rachel Green : And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their marriage after Ross decides not to go through with an annulment. They decide to stay married instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought I'd have to talk you into this more. Rachel Green : Okay, see now I'm scared because I don't actually think you're kidding. Ross Geller : I'm-I'm not kidding. Look I-I, I can't have three failed marriages. I can't. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy! Rachel Green : What-wh-what so we'll just stay married forever?! Ross Geller : Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! It's right next to it! Rachel Green : Ohh, okay, I'm sorry. You're right. Y'know what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what you're asking of me. Ross Geller : I'm asking you to do me a favor. Rachel Green : You are asking me to be your wife! Ross Geller : And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor. Monica Geller : That kid really kicked me hard on the plane.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel consider getting married after he proposes unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well you did pull his hair. Monica Geller : He took my snack! Chandler Bing : I'm not getting into this again! Monica Geller : Okay! Oh God, y'know what? It's really bad. Chandler Bing : Well, I told you not to walk. Here. There. Okay. Monica Geller : This doesn't mean anything, does it? Chandler Bing : No! Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape-, a rapist or a killer or something! Joey Tribbiani : Don't you think I asked him that before he got in?!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over who took whose snack; Monica finds out someone took her hair without permission; they get into an argument about it; Phoebe expresses concern about a hitchhiker Joey picked up."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what? I'm not talking to you! You go back to sleep! And you, are you a rapist?! Hitchhiker : No! Phoebe Buffay : Do you like car games? Hitchhiker : Yeah, y'know the license plate game? Phoebe Buffay : I love the license plate game! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, I'll play! I'll play! Phoebe Buffay : No-No! You need your sleep. Night-night! Shh! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. We register, and you get to keep all the presents!", "summary": "Phoebe accuses Hitchhiker of being a rapist, then they play the license plate game. Joey joins in, but Phoebe insists he needs his sleep. Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel discuss registering for wedding presents."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married. Ross Geller : I don't know if it's true. Rachel Green : Oh b-b-but it is! Ross Geller : Oh, okay, y'know what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage... Rachel Green : Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the world's worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will! Ross Geller : All right. All right, I'll do it. Rachel Green : Thank you. Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower? Hitchhiker : Wait! Wait! There is the train station! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Hitchhiker : This is where I get off. Well, I have your address and phone number.", "summary": "Rachel wants an annulment and Ross agrees to get one despite his reservations."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : And I have your name and the fact that you're a drifter, so the ball's pretty much in your court. Hitchhiker : All right, see ya Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : Come on Pheebs! I can't take this anymore! Let-let me make it up to you. Huh? Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Take your protein pills and put your helmet on! Phoebe Buffay : Stop it! Stop it no! That's not fair! Y'know I can't resist that beautiful voice! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didn't deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you. Phoebe Buffay : You can still sleep at night and stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? I've got a really good one! I've been thinking about it since Kansas. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Is it a meatball sub?", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey are hanging out when Phoebe reveals she has Joey's name and information about him being a drifter. Joey then apologizes for not delivering on a fun road trip with Phoebe, but promises to stay awake as long as he knows her. They then play 20 Questions, with Joey asking questions about a hot sandwich and Phoebe guessing it's a meatball sub."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That is incredible! You are the master! Rachel Green : Huh, that's funny. You look like you're gonna be the... Monica Geller : No, don't say it! Don't even think it! Rachel Green : All right. Okay Chandler, enjoy your handful. Chandler Bing : All right, should we just, should we just get married? Y'know? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it. Monica Geller : I'm sick of the signs! It's too fast, I'm happy the way things are! Chandler Bing : Me too! Monica Geller : I don't want things to change! Do you? Chandler Bing : No! Monica Geller : All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because it's been three days and it's driving me insane!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are considering getting married after a series of signs lead them to believe it's meant to be. However, Monica is hesitant and wants things to stay the same."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Jeez, relax! It's not like we're mar-ah-ah!! Chandler Bing : Y'know I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here? Monica Geller : Then all your stuff would be here. Chandler Bing : Well, what if all my stuff was here? Monica Geller : Then you'd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesn't make any sense. Chandler Bing : Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what I'm saying? Monica Geller : Live together? There have been no signs for that. Chandler Bing : Me asking is kind of a sign. Monica Geller : YES!!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : Okay!!!!!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica consider living together, with Chandler suggesting it as a way for him to be closer to his things. Monica agrees, and they begin making plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yes! Okay! Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Here's your key Chandler Bing : Oh thanks. Monica Geller : Here's your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in! Chandler Bing : The door hasn't been locked in five years, but okay! Ready?! Monica Geller : Ready! Chandler Bing : Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I can't get in! Monica Geller : Wait! Oh my God! I can't get out! Chandler Bing : This is not a sign!", "summary": "Monica gives Chandler a spare key to the apartment while she is away. When Chandler returns with the key, he discovers that it has broken in the lock and he is unable to enter. Monica becomes trapped inside when she tries to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, it's not a sign! It's a very old key! Chandler Bing : It's an old key! Monica Geller : Oh my God it's old! Chandler Bing : I love you! Monica Geller : I love you! Chandler Bing : Are you hugging the door right now. Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Yeah-yeah, me neither. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, so did everything go all right with the annulment?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang finds an old key and argues over what it is, leading to Chandler confessing his love for Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, no problems. It's all taken care of. Rachel Green : Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, why not? Rachel Green : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : No thanks, I've already seen one. Rachel Green : Okay, umm, I'm gonna get my sweater. Ross Geller : Okay. You uh, you wanna hear something weird? Phoebe Buffay : Always. Ross Geller : I didn't get the annulment. Phoebe Buffay : What?!", "summary": "Ross doesn't get an annulment and Phoebe discovers this unexpected twist."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : We're still married! Don't tell Rachel. See you later. Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : The key's stuck in the lock. Joey Tribbiani : I can fix it. Hold on. Look out. Look out. Chandler Bing : It still doesn't work. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not finished. Chandler Bing : Oh. Chandler Bing : Nice job Joe! You're quite the craftsmen. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, so did everything go okay with the annulment?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are still married, but Ross tells Joey not to tell Rachel. Chandler tries to fix a stuck key, but Joey finishes the job."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, no problems. It's all taken care of. Rachel Green : Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, why not? Rachel Green : Okay, umm, I'm gonna get my sweater. Ross Geller : Okay. You uh, you wanna hear something weird? Phoebe Buffay : Always. Ross Geller : I didn't get the annulment. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : We're still married! Don't tell Rachel. See you later. Ross Geller : Hey, do you have any gum?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss going to see a movie together, but Ross reveals that he didn't get an annulment and they are still married. Phoebe learns this surprise twist and asks Ross not to tell Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh? Yeah! Sure! Phoebe Buffay : Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second? Rachel Green : Oh but Phoebe, we're gonna be late for the movie. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, there's a cab! Taxi!! Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. Rachel Green : Yeah, we're, we're actually just gonna walk 'cause it's right up there at the Angelica. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! You didn't get the annulment?!! Ross Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Ross?! Ross Geller : Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyer's office all I could hear was, \"Three divorces. Three divorces!\" Look, I just don't want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces. Phoebe Buffay : Don't be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Y'know? Mine's gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.", "summary": "Ross tries to get an annulment but his lawyer can only hear \"Three divorces.\" Phoebe and Rachel are late for a movie but find a cab, then decide to walk instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look, all I know is I-I can't have another failed marriage! Phoebe Buffay : So okay what? You're gonna be married to a girl who doesn't even know about it?!-Op, woman! Sorry. Ross Geller : Well, okay so, I don't have it all worked out quite yet. Just don't say anything to Rachel, please? Phoebe Buffay : Rachel is one of my closest friends. Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay! Rachel Green : Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : What was that?! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie? Rachel Green : I haven't seen it yet! Phoebe Buffay : Well then you'd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go!", "summary": "Ross is keeping a secret from his friends, including Rachel, about his impending marriage. Phoebe finds out and makes it clear she won't keep the secret, while Rachel is clueless about what's going on."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Noooooooo!! Chandler Bing : Y'know when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine? Monica Geller : Of course! Joey wouldn't let you have one? Chandler Bing : No. When it comes to sweets, he's surprisingly strict. Monica Geller : Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him you're moving out? Chandler Bing : No, no, I keep trying, y'know? I can get out, \"Joey, I have too...\" but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, \"...go to the bathroom.\" He may think I'm sick. Monica Geller : Y'know, I really have to tell Rachel, but I... We just have to get it over with! Y'know, the next time we see them we're just gonna tell them. Okay? That's it. Chandler Bing : Oh, so that's this is gonna work now? You're just gonna order me around all the time? Monica Geller : Pretty much. Chandler Bing : All right.", "summary": "Chandler wants to get a gumball machine when he moves in with Monica and Chandler, but Joey doesn't let him have one. Monica suggests telling Rachel about their living situation, but Chandler is hesitant and keeps putting it off."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica! Monica Geller : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey man, you feeling any better? Monica Geller : Joey, we have something to tell you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! You're pregnant! Chandler Bing : No-o-o! No? No-o-o! Look Joey, here's the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, I'm gonna be moving out man. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Well, uh... Hey! I'm really happy for you guys! Congratulations! See you later. Monica Geller : Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. Like you'd believe that. This sucks! Chandler Bing : Look, I-I'm just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up I'm moving right back in with you!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler decide to live together. Joey finds out and becomes upset."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if you're gonna be moving in with him I feel it's my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? He's a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm... Oh-oh he always, he always umm-Oh, who am I kidding! He's the best roommate ever! Monica Geller : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, have you seen Rachel? Phoebe Buffay : No, why? Monica Geller : I have some pretty exciting news! Phoebe Buffay : You're pregnant! Monica Geller : No! Chandler and I are moving in together! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! That's Good! Wow! But Now If You Were Pregnant, What Would You Name It? Hint Phoebe. Ross Geller : Hey! Hi!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica and Chandler are moving in together, but Monica has some exciting news to share with Phoebe and Rachel. Meanwhile, Joey tries to warn Phoebe about Chandler's terrible roommating skills, but ultimately admits he's the best roommate ever."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : What's up? Monica Geller : Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend...shaking up. Oh, that's great. That's great. Phoebe Buffay : Guys, I'm happy too. Monica Geller : Okay, come here! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Big day huh? People moving in, people getting annulled... Monica Geller : Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesn't seem so bad? Ross Geller : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel... Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are moving in together. Monica asks Phoebe and Ross for their support, but Rachel runs away before they can deliver any bad news."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebody's stairs! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, it's not that big a deal! So you'll been divorced three times, you'll still have a life, you'll go on dates... Ross Geller : No! No, I won't! I'll be at the bottom of the dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four Divorce Guy uh, Murderer Guy, and-and, Geologists. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, you're being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces! Ross Geller : Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know that's really fair. Y'know? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, I'll show you! Come here. Ross Geller : What?! Why? Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldn't you date him? Ross Geller : And if you wait right here, I'll go get Ross. Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Ross is embarrassed about being divorced three times and fears he will be at the bottom of the dating barrel. Phoebe tries to reassure him that his divorces don't define him and suggests he date someone who has also been divorced multiple times. Chandler enters the conversation and adds a humorous note to the exchange."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ugh, I thought you were Rachel! Chandler Bing : What gave me away? Monica Geller : I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and she's the only one left! Chandler Bing : Okay, so that's it, everybody knows! It's official, we're moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Wow that was my scariest voice! You're very brave. Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Ugh, the worse day! Y'know, you think you're making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel. Chandler Bing : Hey listen, for the first four years of my work everybody called me Sha-la-lap. Seriously.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler move in together after everyone finds out. Rachel has a bad day at work where her boss mistakes her name for \"Raquel\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky! Chandler Bing : Well, I-I still think you're very-very nice and very pretty... Rachel Green : What? Chandler Bing : All yours babe. Monica Geller : Have a seat. Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here. Rachel Green : Oh my God! That's so great! I'm so happy for you guys! Monica Geller : Really?! Rachel Green : And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together! Monica Geller : Yes, we are. Rachel Green : And Chandler, you're gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel can't be late.", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler live together, while Monica moves in with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Rach... Monica Geller : Yeah, he's gonna work on that. Rachel Green : Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God... Come and knock on my door... Monica Geller : We'll be waiting for you... Ross Geller : ...once you know the stories, it's not that bad. First marriage, wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldn't allow you to get married when you're that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevada's fault. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so what do you think ladies? Who wouldn't be interested? Who wouldn't want to date him? Stephanie : Well the divorces don't bother me, I'd date him. But, not while he's still married. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, what about you? Wouldn't you want a date? Karin : Actually, I'm dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like y'know bad for me, so until I work that out... Phoebe Buffay : Whatever! What about you Meg?", "summary": "Ross has been married three times and has had various relationship issues. He discusses his marriages with Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe, who all have different opinions on whether or not they would date him. Stephanie and Karin are also mentioned as having their own dating struggles."}
-{"dialogues": "Meg : Well, I don't care about the divorces either, but I wouldn't date him. It's just that he's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl. Ross Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : She said, \"He's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.\" Ross Geller : This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her. Ross Geller : We were drunk! I would've married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just don't want to be divorced three times. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and now he's using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, \"Well done!\" Bravo Meg. Ross Geller : Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-I'll go to my lawyer's office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth--Nothing!!", "summary": "Ross is trying to convince his friends that he is not still in love with Rachel, despite being married to Meg. His friends are skeptical and argue that he only brings up the fact that he has been divorced three times to avoid admitting his feelings for Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Meg : Okay now I wouldn't date you because you seem a little creepy. Karin : I am so attracted to him right now. Chandler Bing : Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen? Monica Geller : Soon! I-I just couldn't before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldn't do that to her, she's my best friend! Chandler Bing : Well, Joey's my best friend. Monica Geller : I'm not your best friend? Chandler Bing : You just said... Of course you're my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though? Monica Geller : All right, all right, at least I'm prepared. Chandler Bing : Okay. Oh yes. Monica Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Meg rejects Karin due to creepiness. Chandler and Monica discuss hiding a secret from Rachel. Joey is upset when he finds out."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey-hey! Monica Geller : These aren't for you! Are you upset? Chandler Bing : I am now! Rachel Green : Hey roomie! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye! Monica Geller : Rach, there's something uh, important I have to tell you. Rachel Green : Are you pregnant?! Monica Geller : No! But, I'm throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before. Rachel Green : Um-hmm. Monica Geller : Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are not intended for each other; Chandler becomes upset upon learning this. Rachel enters and asks if Monica is pregnant, but Monica clarifies that she is not. Instead, she has something important to tell Rachel, which turns out to be that she and Chandler want to live together alone."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh, that's funny, I can't believe I did that. Monica Geller : Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasn't clear! I'm really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? There's absolutely no rush. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Don't you want a cookie? Rachel Green : Sure? Thanks. Monica Geller : Maybe, do you need a tissue? Rachel Green : Monica, where did you get these?! Monica Geller : I made them! Rachel Green : Ooh, good God, they're so yummy! Joey Tribbiani : God, it's gonna so weird like when I come home and you're not here. Y'know? No more Joey and Chan's. No more J and C's. \"You wanna go over to Joey and Chandler's?\" \"Can't, its not there.\"", "summary": "Rachel accidentally breaks something in Monica's apartment and feels bad about it. Monica apologizes and offers to let Rachel take her time moving out, but Rachel declines. They share a cookie and Monica reveals that she made them herself. Joey comments on how strange it will be when he comes home and Monica is no longer there."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look, I'm just gonna be across the hall, we can still do all the same stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah but we won't be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future. Chandler Bing : Not once did we do that. Monica Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Monica Geller : So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Well, how'd she take it? Monica Geller : Really well. Yeah. Surprisingly well. Yeah, she didn't cry. She wasn't angry or sad. Chandler Bing : And you're upset because you didn't make your best friend cry?", "summary": "Monica tells Rachel that she and Chandler will be moving in together, while Joey and Chandler argue about their friendship."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I mean, all I'm asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Don't I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! It's like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channie's!! Chandler Bing : Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?! Russell : You got married again. Ross Geller : Yes. Russell : So that's your second marriage in two years. Ross Geller : Yes, second in two years. Third overall. Russell : Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why don't you tell me what happened. Ross Geller : Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk... Russell : I'm sorry, is this the same Rachel who's name you said at the altar in the second marriage?", "summary": "Monica wants emotion after six years together with Rachel. Joey cried when they told him about their breakup. Chandler questions who calls them \"J-man and Channie's\". Ross got married for a third time in two years to Rachel, but it didn't last long."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes-yes-yes! But, I-I do not love her. Russell : Oh, that's better then. Ross Geller : This was just a drunken mistake and I need to get it annulled. Russell : I see. Have you considered therapy? Ross Geller : I think just the annulment for today. Russell : There are a couple of forms to fill out. Ross Geller : Easy. Russell : And we'll need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind. Ross Geller : No problem. Russell : And we'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.", "summary": "Ross marries Rachel after a drunken night, but realizes he doesn't love her and wants an annulment. He meets with Russell, a lawyer who helps him fill out the necessary forms and gather witnesses to testify that Ross was not of sound mind during the marriage."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ooh! There's no way to do this without her? 'Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of. Russell : Of course you did. Look Ross, you can't get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there. Ross Geller : Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? I will think about the therapy. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff. Rachel Green : Okay! Monica Geller : Y'know, no point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long process of you moving out and us not living together anymore. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, what about this? Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I don't know if I want it because it might be y'know, too many memories! Rachel Green : What the hell is that?", "summary": "Ross tries to get an annulment without telling Rachel, but she finds out and they argue. Monica suggests dividing up their stuff, but Rachel is hesitant due to memories."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I don't know. Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate. Rachel Green : Wow! Mon, thanks! I love this plate! Monica Geller : Something to remember me by! Rachel Green : Mon, honey you're not dying. I'm just moving out. Y'know, I mean we're gonna see each other all the time. Monica Geller : But still, it's a big change. The end of an era, you might say! Rachel Green : Are you okay? You're not blinking. Monica Geller : I'm fine! I just, I'm thinking how much it's an end of era. Rachel Green : Oh, all right. But y'know I gotta say, I don't, I don't think six years counts as an era. Monica Geller : An era is defined as a significant period of time. Now, it was significant to me, maybe it wasn't significant to you! Rachel Green : What is the matter with you?!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue about a plate that Monica wants to give Rachel as a memento before Rachel moves out."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What is the matter with you?!! Why aren't you more upset?! Aren't you gonna be sad that we're not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean aren't you gonna miss me at all?! Rachel Green : All right, fine, but don't get mad at me. It's-it's just a little hard to believe. Monica Geller : What's hard to believe? Rachel Green : Well y'know, it's you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Y'know? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess I'm not upset because I don't see you guys going through with it. I'm sorry. Monica Geller : Rachel, it's going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here. Rachel Green : But I... Monica Geller : No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isn't something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen. Rachel Green : It is? Really? Monica Geller : Yeah, sweetie. Rachel Green : I mean we're not, we're not gonna live together anymore?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel have difficulty accepting that Chandler will be moving in with Monica after they backed out of getting married in Vegas."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : What? Oh my God! I'm gonna miss you so much! Monica Geller : I'm gonna miss you! Rachel Green : I mean it's the end of an era! Monica Geller : I know! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye! Ross Geller : Oh no. Phoebe Buffay : So? Did you get the annulment? Ross Geller : I couldn't. Phoebe Buffay : I knew it! Because you love Rachel.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are upset about the end of their friendship. Phoebe tries to comfort them, but Ross reveals that he still has feelings for Rachel despite getting an annulment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, complicated 'cause of the love. Ross Geller : I... I do, I do not love Rachel. I'm gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her? Phoebe Buffay : I've never been more convinced of your love for her. Ross Geller : I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! Ross Geller : Ohh, what's wrong?! Rachel Green : Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing. Ross Geller : Oh my-Come here! Come here! It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Rachel Green : Thank you. Ross Geller : Of course.", "summary": "Ross tries to annul his marriage to Rachel because he claims he doesn't love her, but Phoebe is convinced of his feelings for her. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler are moving in and Rachel has to move out, causing emotional turmoil for everyone involved."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up? Phoebe Buffay : Oh we do, but not just yet. Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Well, when? Phoebe Buffay : Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it won't work out. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Then, I'm gonna marry Chandler for the money and you'll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Phoebe Buffay : But then we ditch those two and that's when we get married. We'll have Chandler's money and Rachel's kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachel's drinking problem. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh, what about Ross? Phoebe Buffay : I don't want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.", "summary": "Joey suggests he and Phoebe should hook up, but she hesitates and brings up various scenarios involving their friends' relationships before ultimately killing Ross in a hypothetical situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! What are yo-you trying to kill me?! Rachel Green : Pheebs, I wanna ask you something. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, what? Rachel Green : Well since I'm movin' out and-and you're so beautiful... Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Rachel Green : ...how about I move in with you? Phoebe Buffay : Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise? Monica Geller : Who's Denise?", "summary": "Joey holds his breath for almost 4 minutes, causing panic among the friends. Rachel wants to move out and asks Phoebe if she can move in with her, but Phoebe raises concerns about Denise."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : My roommate. Rachel Green : You have a roommate?! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, Denise. Denise! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute? Chandler Bing : Pheebs, I don't understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin' uh, I'm gonna have an extra room over at my place... Rachel Green : Oh, that's true. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, why don't you move in with me? It'll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursday's right? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah I think I'm gonna find my own place.", "summary": "Denise, a mysterious roommate of Phoebe Buffay, is introduced in the conversation. Phoebe reveals that she has been talking about Denise all the time but none of her friends know anything about her. Joey Tribbiani expresses interest in having Rachel Green move in with him, but Rachel declines and decides to find her own place instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursday's was just our thing man! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her? Ross Geller : Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well. Phoebe Buffay : You didn't tell her did you? Ross Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Of course not, because you're in love with her. Ross Geller : I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didn't tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend. Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean, comforted her?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are still married, but Ross didn't tell Rachel when he moved out. He comforted her instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's nothing, I just gave her a hug. Phoebe Buffay : Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug! Ross Geller : It's also a sign of friendship. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. Ross Geller : It was a hug! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair? Ross Geller : S-s-smell her hair? What if I did? Phoebe Buffay : Ninety percent of a women's pheromones come out the top of her head! That's why, that's why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! Oh come on Ross, you're a scientist. Ross Geller : I was hugging her as a friend. It's not my fault her-her hair got in my face, she's got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh...coconutty. What?! Oh, that doesn't mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachel's not in the same place you are.", "summary": "Ross hugs a woman and Phoebe suspects he has romantic feelings for her. Ross insists it was just a friendly hug, but Phoebe believes he's hiding something."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I didn't understand that, but y'know, maybe that's 'cause you were speaking the secret language of love! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Dude, some guy just called for you. Chandler Bing : Who was it? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! How about, \"Thanks for taking the message.\" Jeez! Monica Geller : Okay listen, y'know when you move in Rachel's room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it? Chandler Bing : Sure! Monica Geller : Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really haven't thought about it that much. Chandler Bing : Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, y'know? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones! Monica Geller : No.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss love, while Joey takes a message from an unknown caller. Chandler and Monica debate what to do with Rachel's empty room, with ideas ranging from a beautiful guest room to a game room."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay so you mean no as in, \"Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Let's discuss it before we reject it completely.\" Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no. Chandler Bing : So, that's it? Monica Geller : I just don't think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques. Chandler Bing : Which is why Asteroids is perfect! It's the oldest game! Monica Geller : What do you have against the beautiful guest room? Chandler Bing : I don't have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away! Monica Geller : Are you mocking me? Chandler Bing : No, I'm not mocking you, or you beautiful guest room. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's up?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica discuss adding an arcade game to their guest room, with Chandler advocating for the oldest game, Asteroids. Monica is opposed, citing the beauty of the room and the presence of antiques. The conversation escalates into a mocking exchange between Chandler and Monica, with Joey entering the scene to join in on the discussion."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight. Joey Tribbiani : But you're still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. Chandler Bing : \"Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly.\" Nice! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? I just figured y'know, after living with you it'd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, y'know? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone who's different than me. And what's more different than me; a guy who's not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? Not just a hat rack my friend! Rachel Green : Pheebs, I have to ask you... Phoebe Buffay : Shhhhhh! I'm swamped right now. Rachel Green : You're just staring into space. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I'm trying to move that pencil. Rachel Green : This one? Phoebe Buffay : It worked!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a fight, but they will still be living together after Chandler posts an ad for a female roommate. Joey thinks it would be interesting to have a female roommate to learn from and change his habits. Phoebe tries to ignore Rachel's questions while working on moving a pencil."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; \"Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly.\" It's just, there is nothing! The city's full! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, no, look at this! \"Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay...\" Oh, yeah, but it's on the ground floor. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Rach, uh, you still looking for a place? Rachel Green : Yeah! Why? Ross Geller : Okay, there's this guy, Warren, from the museum and he's going on a dig for like two years and he's got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested? Rachel Green : That sounds great! I'd love to live at Warren's!! I love Warren! Thank you! Ross Geller : Don't thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. Here's Warren's number. Rachel Green : Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! Oh, thank you!", "summary": "Rachel is struggling to find a new apartment, but all the options come with roommates who are either smokers or unattractive. Phoebe finds an ad for a two-bedroom apartment on the ground floor, but it's only available to non-smokers and Satan worshipers. Rachel expresses her frustration at not being able to find a suitable place, and Ross suggests that she look into subletting a room from a man named Warren who is going on a two-year dig. Rachel is thrilled at the prospect of living in Warren's apartment and thanks Ross for his help."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, you go grab it! Phoebe Buffay : I saw it. Ross Geller : I don't know what you're talking about. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I'm talking about that which you already know but won't admit. You love her again; you re-love her! Ross Geller : Look, I do not re-love her. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you won't just admit it! Okay, just promise me that you won't do anything stupid. Ross Geller : Look, we're just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid? Rachel Green : Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. I'm never gonna find anything. Ross Geller : You can live with me. Rachel Green : What?!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe argue about his feelings for Rachel; Ross denies re-falling in love with her. Phoebe urges him to admit it, but he insists they're just friends. Meanwhile, Rachel is frustrated with her apartment search and considers living with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Are you serious?! Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Rachel Green : I would love to live with you Ross; that's-that's great! Thank you! Ross Geller : Well, I'm-I'm just glad I could, y'know, help you out. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I'm-I'm so happy for you guys. This is so-so, not stupid. Rachel Green : Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! You're my hero! Ross Geller : Hero, I uh, I don't know-well, all right. Rachel Green : Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has!", "summary": "Ross helps Rachel by letting her move in with him after she was evicted from her apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh please! You're gonna say things now, aren't ya? Phoebe Buffay : No. No, I won't. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didn't love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And that's how she ended up living with me! Okay, that's a lie. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi, listen, I'm sorry about before. I don't need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldn't get girls, and now I can 'em-Now, I have you. Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women... Monica Geller : Stop it Chandler. I'm sorry too. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah! Oh yes! Chandler Bing : Ohh. Monica Geller : Listen, we don't have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.", "summary": "Phoebe tells Ross about her roommate Denise who moved in with a married man who claimed he didn't love her, but it ended up blowing up and she ended up living with Phoebe instead. Chandler enters the conversation and apologizes for his behavior earlier, but Monica interrupts and they both apologize to each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room. Monica Geller : Totally! Chandler Bing : We don't have to come up with this now. Monica Geller : Oh good. Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what? Why don't we think about changes we can make in the living room? Monica Geller : Changes? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean we're gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. Monica Geller : You're-you're-you're gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here? Chandler Bing : Is that a problem? Monica Geller : Well, it's a set and they should probably stay together.", "summary": "Chandler wants to move his beloved Barca Lounger into the living room, but Monica thinks it should stay in its original spot."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, that's cool. Then I'll just bring them both over. Monica Geller : See now-now you're taking them away from their home. Chandler Bing : Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! I'll get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work! Monica Geller : Yeah-yeah, y'know what? Yeah, that's it-that's it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! That's-that's what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! I'm talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesn't match! Where is it gonna go?! Chandler Bing : In the game room! Monica Geller : Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly! Chandler Bing : All right! That's fine! That's fine! I won't bring over the chairs! I won't bring anything over! I wouldn't want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandma's place!! Joey Tribbiani : Everything on your application looks really good-Ohh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out? The Potential Roommate : Oh don't worry, I'm not really a party girl. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa!! Now look, don't be just blurtin' stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue over who gets to keep certain items in their grandmother's house after she passes away. Chandler insists that everything belongs to him since he's the one taking care of the place, but Monica disagrees. They eventually come to an agreement, but not before Joey jumps into the conversation and asks if they'll be partying at the house all the time. The potential roommate assures Joey that she's not a party girl."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You can call off the roommate search! Hi! I'll be living here. Joey Tribbiani : Oh don't listen to him, he's just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I don't think he's gonna get it. Chandler Bing : Why did you take the shower curtain down? Joey Tribbiani : That thing was a hazard! I'm very safety conscious. Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff. Rachel Green : Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monica's and she and Chandler had a big fight and they're not moving in. Ross Geller : What do you mean, they're not moving in? They-they're still moving in right? Rachel Green : No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room. Ross Geller : What?! Over a stupid room!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are competing for the same apartment, while Rachel and Ross discuss Monica and Chandler's recent fight over her room."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but I'm also really psyched 'cause I don't have to move in here! Ross Geller : Oh no, yeah no, that part's great! Ross Geller : What's all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly! Monica Geller : Ross, we can handle this. Ross Geller : Well, apparently not, and I can't just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness! Chandler Bing : Well, why don't you tell her to stop being silly! Ross Geller : Okay-okay! Two very good points, look I've known you both a long time, and I've never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as you've been since you've got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness? Chandler Bing : Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love. Monica Geller : Love is the best medicine. Chandler Bing : That's laughter.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross fight over a room, while Chandler tries to intervene and convince them to prioritize their love over silliness. Monica weighs in with her opinion on the matter."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why do you do it? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Ross Geller : Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica, right? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I do. Ross Geller : And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, don't ya? Monica Geller : Yes. Ross Geller : Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! Gunther : So I understand you're looking for a place. Rachel Green : No-no, I'm staying put. Gunther : Oh, I was going to offer you my apartment.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler move in together, while Ross and Monica also decide to live together. Gunther offers Rachel his apartment, but she declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Why, where are you going? Gunther : I don't know. Ross Geller : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : You're never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. That's great news right-I mean for them. Right? Rachel Green : Oh wow. Ross Geller : Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again. Rachel Green : Yeah. Y'know umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but don't you think it's gonna be weird? Ross Geller : Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird? Rachel Green : Well, because of us! Because of our history.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are caught off guard when Monica and Chandler announce they're moving back in together. Ross offers Rachel a place to stay, but she's hesitant due to their complicated past."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No! Rachel Green : No? Ross Geller : No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place? Rachel Green : No! Not at all! Ross Geller : Good! Me neither! So it's not a problem. We're just two friends who happen to be roommates. Rachel Green : Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating. Ross Geller : Really?! We are? Rachel Green : Yeah! I'm gonna have a boyfriend, you're gonna have a girlfriend... Ross Geller : Ohh! That would be great. Rachel Green : But y'know what, if you think it's gonna be okay we'll just work out a system. Y'know, it'll be like college, I'll hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, \"Come back later, I'm gettin' lucky.\"", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their living situation, with Ross expressing his discomfort at being roommates with Rachel. Rachel reassures him that it's not a problem and that they are just friends. They then discuss the possibility of them dating each other in the future, with both of them seeming excited about the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, I didn't think of that. Ross Geller : So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean it's a really big step! And-and what's the rush?! Monica Geller : That's very funny! Chandler Bing : He's being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness! Ross Geller : No, I-I-I'm serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing y'know you break up! Monica Geller : Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room. Ross Geller : Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isn't about the room, this is about what the room...represents! And unfortunately, this room could destroy you!! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm not so worried. Monica Geller : Yeah, no, me neither. Ross Geller : Fine! It's your life! I just don't want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, but that's what you want, there's nothing I can do. DON'T DO IT!!!!!", "summary": "Moving in together could lead to relationship problems and eventual breakup."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You still want to move in together right? Chandler Bing : Of course! Monica Geller : Ross didn't scare you? Chandler Bing : Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him. Monica Geller : Come here, I want to show you something! Chandler Bing : Okay! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Someone's killed Square Man! Monica Geller : This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and it's still walking distance to the kitchen. Chandler Bing : Oh that's so sweet! I want to show you something too! Monica Geller : Okay!", "summary": "Ross didn't scare Chandler, who showed Monica his apartment and she wanted to move in together. Monica showed Chandler her idea for the barca lounger, and they both had something to show each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Y'know those big-big uh, road signs that say \"Merge?\" Monica Geller : Uh-hmm. Chandler Bing : Y'know? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, that's you and I together! Merge! Monica Geller : Oh my God! I love that! Chandler Bing : Really?! Monica Geller : Uh, no!! Phoebe Buffay : I found you in my bed! How'd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair............ Phoebe Buffay : Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer. Ross Geller : So umm, where are the other guys? Rachel Green : Umm, well let's see Monica and Chandler are occupied.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler want to put a \"Merge\" sign over their bed, representing their relationship. Phoebe finds them in bed together and is confused by their presence. Ross asks where the other guys are, and Rachel reveals that they are occupied."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Fighting?! Rachel Green : No, the other thing. I really think it's great they work things out. Ross Geller : Yeah. There's no breaking them up, is there? Rachel Green : Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy? Ross Geller : Sure! Here. Rachel Green : Thank you. Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, there's no turning back. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm-I'm sure. Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea? Ross Geller : I've been back and forth. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it you're right where you don't want to be! Back together!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel consider moving in together, but Ross has doubts. Rachel wants to make a copy of the key to his house, leading Ross to wonder if she's trying to break up their friendship with Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ehh, I don't, I don't think so. She's already talked about y'know, dating other guys. Joey Tribbiani : That's not gonna work out! Then she's gonna come home all weepy and you'll be tellin' her, \"Oh that's okay. You'll find someone.\" And then, bamn! She finds you! Ross Geller : Yeah, well, m-maybe you're right. Joey Tribbiani : I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want? Ross Geller : Is that what I want? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Here she comes. Hold on, I'm gonna make your life much easier. Rachel Green : All right, well the place was closed. I'll just copy it later. Joey Tribbiani : Or not. Uh, Rach, why don't you just move in with me? Ross Geller : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss Rachel's recent decision to start dating other guys, with Joey predicting that she will eventually come back to Ross. Phoebe agrees and suggests that Ross should move in with Joey. However, Ross is hesitant and tries to distance himself from the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no... It's okay, I mean I-look Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursday's thing, but we don't have to do that! Rachel Green : Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless you're thinking about Naked Wednesday's. Joey Tribbiani : Thursday's clearly not good for ya, pick a day! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! The Potential Roommate : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Come in. Thanks for comin' back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists! The Potential Roommate : Great! Joey Tribbiani : Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, I'm gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind. The Potential Roommate : I can do that. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Here we go. Pillow.", "summary": "Joey wants to find a new roommate and has narrowed it down to two finalists. He puts them through a test to see if their personalities match by saying a word and having them say the first thing that comes to mind."}
-{"dialogues": "The Potential Roommate : Fight. Joey Tribbiani : Very good! Okay. G. The Potential Roommate : String? Joey Tribbiani : Excellent! Okay umm, doggy. The Potential Roommate : Kitten? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, but-bye-bye! Rachel Green : So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine? Monica Geller : This bottle opener. Rachel Green : And? Monica Geller : And it's a magnet!", "summary": "The Potential Roommate and Joey Tribbiani engage in a series of silly fights over objects, including a string, a kitten, and a kitchen item. Meanwhile, Rachel Green and Monica Geller argue over who owns certain kitchen items."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Look at that! Ross Geller : How weird is that? Y'know? You're moving in with me and have the one thing I don't have. It's like uh, in a way you-you complete me kitchen. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : You complete me kitchen, matey! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, I know what you're thinking. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : That she's gonna move in with you and maybe then she'll fall in love with you and then when she finds out you're already married, she'll just be happy. Y'know? You're just, you're very sad. Ross Geller : Oh...my...God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel! Phoebe Buffay : What?!! Ross Geller : Of course! It all adds up! I mean you you're obsessed with her. It's always, \"Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?\" \"Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?\" \"When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?\" You want her!", "summary": "Ross is obsessed with Rachel and wants to be with her, but he's already married. Phoebe realizes this and teases Ross about his feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No! Ross Geller : Uh-oh, saved by the bell. Hello? Monica Geller : Hey Rach, aren't these candlesticks mine? Rachel Green : No-no, I bought those. Monica Geller : Ohh! Yeah, I forgot. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : That you're a liar. Ross Geller : No-no-no, that's great! I'll be there Monday. And thank you again! Okay. Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U! Monica Geller : Wow! Uh what, did he uh, say? Ross Geller : Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.", "summary": "Ross tries to save a conversation with Monica by claiming he has an important meeting at the university, but she accuses him of lying and they argue over a set of candlesticks Rachel bought."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, who wouldn't?! Ross Geller : I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean it's temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? \"Professor Geller.\" Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, Professor and Mrs. Rachel Green : And Mrs.?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Yeah, y'know you and Ross are still married. Rachel Green : What?!! Phoebe Buffay : Just kidding! Rachel Green : Ohh! Oh God! Phoebe Buffay : Saved your ass. Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Ross is offered a temporary guest lecturer position at his alma mater and hopes it could lead to a full-time job. Rachel is shocked to learn they are still married. Phoebe jokes about the situation while Chandler interrupts with a sarcastic comment."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Oh, what's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Well, you know that psychic I see? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Well, she told me that I'm gonna die this week, so I'm kinda bummed about that. Chandler Bing : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and I know you guys don't know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get. Monica Geller : Phoebe that's crazy! Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe she would say that too you.", "summary": "Phoebe discovers through a psychic reading that she will die this week, causing her to become despondent. Chandler is skeptical and tries to reassure her, while Monica and Joey offer support."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah honey you don't believe her do you? Phoebe Buffay : I don't-she said y'know that I'd have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black. Chandler Bing : Just out of curiosity did she tell you how you're gonna go? Phoebe Buffay : No, 'cause she didn't tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean I've only got a week left, y'know? I've really gotta start living now! , leans back, and starts reading.) Ross Geller : Hey everyone! Chandler Bing : Oh hi! Ross Geller : Hey uh, well, today's my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind? #ALL# : Oh that'd be great. Sure! Ross Geller : \"There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct...\" Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is it. This what's gonna kill me.", "summary": "Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay discuss a fortune teller who predicted that one of Phoebe's triplets would be black, but did not reveal how Phoebe was going to die. Chandler Bing joins the conversation and asks if the fortune teller told Phoebe how she will go. Phoebe becomes frustrated and starts reading a book. Ross Geller enters the conversation and begins lecturing on sediment flow rate theories, but Phoebe interrupts him and states that this is what will kill her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : \"...subcategories. The first of these subcategories is...\" Joey Tribbiani : Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper? Ross Geller : No! Why? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I've just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didn't have naked chicks on it. Ross Geller : Ohh! Okay! Okay. \"There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into...\" Chandler Bing : Why don't you open with a joke? Ross Geller : Open with a joke? It's a university, not a comedy club! Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, hold the phone! You're not talking about Chuckles University?! Ross Geller : Okay! #ALL# : Ohh! We're kidding! Oh, we're kidding!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nRoss discusses subcategories related to sediment flow rate. Joey assumes there are naked women on the paper, while Chandler suggests starting with a joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring? Ross Geller : Thank you! Rachel Green : Some uh, some visual aides. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ooh-ooh! Y'know what's a good visual aide? Ross Geller : Please don't say naked chicks. Joey Tribbiani : Why not?! Ross Geller : I-I-I don't even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Y'know what? I'm just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks. Chandler Bing : That's the way I did it 'til I was 19. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Any good mail?", "summary": "Rachel suggests using visual aids to make a presentation less boring. Ross objects, but Joey suggests naked women as an example. Ross disapproves and decides to create his own visual aids without any nudity. Chandler shares that he used similar methods until he was 19 years old."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes, you got something from the Screen Actor's Guild. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, it's probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, I'm kinda.... Chandler Bing : \"Benefits lapsed.\" Joey Tribbiani : Hmm that's weird. I don't remember being in a move called benefits lapsed. Chandler Bing : Okay, it's not a check. They're saying your health insurance expired because, you didn't work enough last year. Joey Tribbiani : Let me see that! Chandler Bing : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I can't believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, y'know? And it wouldn't matter. Now I gotta be careful?! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry man, there's never a good time to stop catching on fire. Joey Tribbiani : All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. I'm gonna go see my agent.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani receives a letter from the Screen Actors Guild informing him that his health insurance has expired because he didn't work enough last year. He is upset and frustrated by this news, as he was previously able to get injured or catch on fire without worrying about medical bills. Joey decides to see his agent to find a new job in order to maintain his insurance coverage."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street. Joey Tribbiani : ...look both ways before you cross the street. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs, you're still alive! How are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, it's so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could- Rachel Green : Pheebs, what-what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I was preparing you for my-didn't you think I was dead? Did that not come off? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought we'd lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, y'know if you can. Rachel Green : Monica!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is preparing to die and asks Rachel Green to wake her up in a few hours."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hmm? Rachel Green : Did-did you take these back? Monica Geller : No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, they're really great! Aren't they? Monica Geller : I loved them! Rachel Green : Yeah. Nice try! Ross Geller : Hello! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : How'd the lecture go?", "summary": "Monica bought a batch of candy without asking and hid them in her room. When Rachel found out, Monica admitted to buying them for herself and they bonded over their shared love of the candy."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It went great! And I didn't need any jokes or naked chicks either! Rachel Green : Wow, that's great Ross, I'm sorry we weren't more supportive before. Ross Geller : I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyone's all, \"Ross you have to be funny and sexy.\" Well, I proved them wrong! And now, I'm gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler. Monica Geller : That you're not funny or sexy? Ross Geller : That's right! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Estelle, listen... Estelle Leonard : Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle! Joey Tribbiani : What are you talkin' about? I never left you! You've always been my agent! Estelle Leonard : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!", "summary": "Ross successfully performed his stand-up comedy set without relying on jokes or naked chicks to impress the audience. He proved his doubters wrong and gained confidence in his abilities. Monica joins in, teasing Ross about not being funny or sexy, while Joey returns and defends Estelle as his agent."}
-{"dialogues": "Estelle Leonard : Oh well, no harm, no foul. Joey Tribbiani : Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I-I lost my health insurance. Estelle Leonard : All right, first thing we gotta do, damage control. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Estelle Leonard : Well, I think uhh, someone out there may have been bad mouthing you all over town. Joey Tribbiani : Bastard! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and I'll have my health insurance back in no time. Chandler Bing : That's great, but shouldn't you be on the toilet right now? Joey Tribbiani : What?!", "summary": "Joey loses his health insurance and Estelle tries to help him get it back by damage controlling the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What's wrong with you? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, haven't been able to stand up since. But um, I don't think it's anything serious. Chandler Bing : This sounds like a hernia. You have to-you-you go to the doctor! Joey Tribbiani : No way! 'Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! Chandler Bing : That's a hernia. Joey Tribbiani : Why did I have to start working out again? Damn you 15s! Rachel Green : Well, we're a little early, the lecture doesn't end for 15 minutes. Monica Geller : Yeah, but y'know we could sneak in and watch. Rachel Green : Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! There's some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. Hey sisters! Wow, we really are bitches. Ross Geller : Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when- Oh bloody hell.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani experiences sudden pain and passes out after lifting weights, leading Chandler Bing to suspect a hernia. Joey refuses to see a doctor, fearing a medical examination. Meanwhile, Rachel Green and Monica Geller sneak into an early lecture, only to find a group of sorority sisters they used to be part of."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What the hell are you doing?! Ross Geller : Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out. Rachel Green : Yeah, and not a very good one. Ross Geller : Will you-will you please? The Professor : Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, I'm a professor in the paleontology department here. Ross Geller : Oh. The Professor : Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I've got plans with my sister. Monica Geller : Monica Gellerrr. Ross Geller : Right, will you excuse us for one moment? What are you doing?", "summary": "Ross gives a lecture at a university and accidentally uses a British accent."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, you can have an accent and I can't?! Top 'O the morning to ya laddies! Ross Geller : Just please stop! Rachel Green : Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time of year. Chandler Bing : Hey, will you grab me a cruller? Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides it's getting darker and more painful, that means it's healing. Chandler Bing : I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and let's just get that thing...pushed back in. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I don't want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, I'm thinking I'll probably start with that laser eye surgery too. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Ross has a hernia and needs surgery, but is unable to afford it. Chandler offers to loan him the money, but Joey is hesitant due to the amount and the fact that he doesn't want to owe anyone money. Phoebe enters the conversation and suggests they start with laser eye surgery once insurance kicks in."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What's going on? Chandler Bing : Oh Joey's got a really bad hernia, but that's nothing a little laser eye surgery won't fix! Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'm telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here it doesn't hurt that bad. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Maybe you'll die! Joey Tribbiani : Sure, now I'm scared. Phoebe Buffay : No, we can go together! Just don't wait too long though, okay? 'Cause I'm outta here sometime before Friday. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but I don't wanna die! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, it'll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys! Monica Geller : Gimme 'em! Rachel Green : No! They are mine!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey has a hernia, but Chandler thinks it's nothing a laser eye surgery can't fix. Phoebe tries to make light of the situation, but Joey becomes scared and upset. Meanwhile, Monica and Rachel argue over who gets to keep the guys."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You stole them from me! Rachel Green : You stole them from me!! Monica Geller : Gimme them! Monica Geller : You just wanna each take one? Rachel Green : Yeah that seems fair. We never use them. Ross Geller : Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do? Rachel Green : Well... Monica Geller : Why don't you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think you're, y'know, that you're adjusting to life in America. Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean they're probably not even listening! Ross Geller : They're not listening too me?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over a pair of earrings before Ross joins in with his British accent troubles."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Of course they're listening to you! Everybody listens to you. Ross Geller : Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing? Monica Geller : I think you look fine. Casting Director #1 : Whenever you're ready. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. \"Hey, Timmy, I've got a surprise for you.\" Casting Director #1 : Hold it. I'm sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less...intense? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sure, no problem, I'll just-hold on one second. \"Hey Timmy, I've got a surprise for you!\" Casting Director #1 : Oh my God!! Joey Tribbiani : So that's why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! Casting Director #2 : That's where you pick up the bag.", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss whether or not Ross should try \"phasing out.\" Joey has a surprise for Timmy but is interrupted by a casting director who is unhappy with the intensity of his playing. Joey then begins promoting Purina One dog food."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Exactly. Casting Director #2 : No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag. Joey Tribbiani : Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. I didn't get it, did I? Casting Director #2 : No. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. I'm Joey Tribbiani; I'm here to audition for man. Casting Director #3 : You mean dying man? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Monica Geller : Okay, come on, do it one more time! Rachel Green : Really? Really?!", "summary": "Joey auditions for a role but misunderstands the instructions and points to a bag instead of picking it up. Casting director #2 confirms Joey's mistake, and Joey continues to struggle with the task. Meanwhile, Monica and Rachel try to get Joey to perform the action again."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yes! Rachel Green : Okay! \"Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, we'd like you to come on board with us full time! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Listen to this! My reading was wrong, I'm not going die! Rachel Green : Really?! How do you know? Phoebe Buffay : Because my psychic is dead! She must've read the cards wrong! Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Eh, better her than me! Hey, let's bake cookies! Chandler Bing : Listen, I'm really glad you got the part.", "summary": "Ross is offered a full-time position at Fake Accent University, but Phoebe reveals that her psychic told her she won't die and offers to bake cookies with Rachel instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Chandler Bing : But are you sure you can do this? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for helping me take a shower. Chandler Bing : Now, is that never talking about it again?! Joey Tribbiani : Hiya! The Director : Hey Joey, we're ready for ya! Joey, this is Alex he's going to be playing your son. Joey Tribbiani : Hi Alex! And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. The Director : Okay. All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, \"Take good care of your Momma son,\" that's your cue to cry. Got it? All right, let's do this. A Crew Member : Scene 5, take 1. The Director : And Action!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing are preparing for a scene in a movie where Joey will play a father and Chandler will play his son. Joey thanks Chandler for coming with him and helping him take a shower. Chandler becomes frustrated when Joey keeps bringing up the topic of their shower encounter. The Director calls for action, and Alex, who will be playing Joey's son, cries during his line \"Take good care of your Momma.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : \"Take could care of your Momma son.\" \"Take could care of your Momma son.\" \"Come on son! Your Momma's good people!\" The Director : Cut! Alex, remember you're supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time? Alex : Okay. The Director : All right, from the top. A Crew Member : Scene 5, take 2. A Crew Member : Take 36 is up! The Director : All right! Let's try this again! You ready Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action? The Director : Uh sure. Joey Tribbiani : Okay.", "summary": "Joey takes care of his mom."}
-{"dialogues": "The Director : Action! Joey Tribbiani : \"Take good care of your Momma son.\" The Director : Cut!!!!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why don't you uh, lift up your shirt? Take a look at this kiddo. We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras! Rachel Green : Hello? Russell : Hello, is Ross there? Rachel Green : Uh no, he's not. Can I take a message? Russell : Yes, this Russell, Ross's divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I haven't heard from him, I assume he's decided to give the marriage a try. Rachel Green : Ross got married again-Nooooooo!!!!!!!!! Ross Geller : All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory the team would never have identified the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis . Were there any questions at this point? Yes.", "summary": "The plot revolves around a conversation between the Director and an actor, Joey Tribbiani, as they film a scene for a movie. Joey gives advice to the actor playing his mother, while the Director yells \"Cut!\" after a mistake is made during filming. The conversation then shifts to Chandler Bing, who suggests lifting up Joey's shirt to show off a crying child on set. Rachel Green enters the scene and takes a message from Russell, Ross's divorce lawyer, who informs her that he hasn't heard from Ross and assumes he has decided to work on his marriage. This leads to a dramatic reaction from Rachel, as she reveals that Ross has married again. Finally, Ross himself enters the scene and discusses phasing out an accent in a laboratory experiment with the team, before answering questions from the crew."}
-{"dialogues": "A Student : What's happening to your accent? Ross Geller : Come again? What's-what's this nonsense? All right, I'm-I'm not English. I'm from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. I'm sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? About paleontology. All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because I'm-I'm hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression... Rachel Green : Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!! Ross Geller : Well, hello Rachel! Phoebe Buffay : Have you really done this before? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, don't hold back. and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.) Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey! Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : We're just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.", "summary": "Ross Geller tries to make a good impression on his students by hiding his non-English accent, but it doesn't go as planned when Rachel Green walks in and discovers he was never honest about being their professor's wife."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, all right. Rachel Green : I cannot believe that you didn't tell me that we are still married!! Ross Geller : Look I was going to tell you! Rachel Green : When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! Ross didn't get the annulment; we are still married. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : You're kidding! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! Monica Geller : Ross! Ross Geller : Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision. But I just couldn't face another failed marriage. Chandler Bing : Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are still married after a drunken Vegas wedding, despite Ross's attempt to annul it. They have a secret child together."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Rach, come on, if you think about it, it's actually kinda funny. Okay, maybe it's best not to think about it. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is inexcusable. I am shocked to my very core! Ross Geller : Phoebe, I told her you already knew. Phoebe Buffay : Another lie. You have a sickness! Chandler Bing : Ross, just for my own piece of mind, you're not married to anymore of us are ya? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. Ooohh, to a Porsche! Hey Gunther, these yours? Gunther : Yeah, that's what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved up for 350 years! Joey Tribbiani : Na-uh! Hey did anybody lose their keys? Monica Geller : Joey, why don't you put them in the lost and found? Joey Tribbiani : There's a lost and found? My shoe!", "summary": "Ross lies to Phoebe about telling Rachel something, causing her shock and outrage. Chandler questions Ross's marital status, while Joey misplaces his keys and causes confusion. Monica suggests putting the lost keys in the lost and found, but Joey is unaware of its existence."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You left a shoe here?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I didn't realize until I got home. I wasn't gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Y'know what? I'm gonna go find that guy's car and leave a note on the windshield. Chandler Bing : Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, I'll be sure to give him your shoe. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?! Monica Geller : Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great! Chandler Bing : Yeah, all right. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well I'll bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, they're not actually puppies, they're Frank and Alice's triplets. Okay, see ya! Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa! What? Phoebe Buffay : Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and I'm nervous 'cause I've never done that before by myself!", "summary": "A shoe is left at a location, and the owner of the shoe (Joey) plans to leave a note on the windshield of the car belonging to the person who took the shoe. Meanwhile, Phoebe invites everyone to spend tomorrow taking care of triplets, but it's revealed that they are actually Frank and Alice's triplets, not puppies."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Don't worry about it Phoebe, we'll absolutely do it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm gonna pass. 'Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies. Monica Geller : Come on Chandler, come on! It'll give us great practice for when--people with babies come to visit. Guy #1 : Nice car! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's not mine. Woman : I love your car. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's mine. Woman : I bet it's fast. Joey Tribbiani : Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats? Woman : Yeah!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe want to practice babysitting for when people with babies come to visit, so they try to convince Chandler to join them. Meanwhile, Joey shows off his car to a woman, who compliments him on the leather seats."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It's got 'em! Rachel Green : So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Ross's, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now. Phoebe Buffay : What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I don't have a roommate. Rachel Green : Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe you could be my roommate! Rachel Green : Well there's an idea!! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, she said she'd be back December 26th. Rachel Green : December 26th, huh maybe she's Santa Clause.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are trying to find a place to live after their previous roommate leaves. Rachel suggests that Phoebe could be her new roommate, and they both agree it would be a great idea. However, Phoebe reveals that Denise, their previous roommate, will be gone until December 26th, leading Rachel to jokingly suggest that Denise might be Santa Claus."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye. Ross Geller : Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. I'll take care of everything. Rachel Green : Well sure, if you say you're gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! All right, now I'm gonna do this my way and I don't want to hear a peep out of you! Ross Geller : Okay Rach, but... Rachel Green : Op! You're peeping! Rachel Green : Ross! Y'know what, I just got-why? Why did you do this?! Ross Geller : Look I told you... Rachel Green : I don't wanna hear \"Three failed marriages!\" Ross Geller : Look, if you'd had two failed marriages, you'd understand! Rachel Green : Well, y'know what? Thanks to you I'm half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I don't think I have ever been this angry!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross argue over their upcoming court date and divorce proceedings. Rachel becomes frustrated with Ross's handling of the situation and lashes out at him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What about the time I said we were on a break? Rachel Green : Ugh! Monica Geller : Pheebs, how's it going? Phoebe Buffay : I'm doing okay. I think it's going well. Do you think they're having fun? Am I talking to fast? Monica Geller : Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, it's going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler. Chandler Bing : Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. Do you know what Pheebs? When you're done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. Phoebe Buffay : Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies. Chandler Bing : See that's where I think that you're wrong. We've been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense. Monica Geller : What do you mean? Chandler Bing : I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And y'know Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about a past break in their relationship. Monica talks to Phoebe while holding Chandler's baby girl, and Chandler discusses parenting responsibilities with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping. Chandler Bing : Okay, I'm a rookie. I should not be in the end zone. Monica Geller : This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Well this is not what I ordered. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey babies! Oh, I'm having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche I've got the keys too, still there! Chandler Bing : Shocking! Since you still have the keys. Joey Tribbiani : You should see the treatment I get when I'm with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang discusses a new restaurant idea and assigns tasks, but Phoebe and Joey are disappointed with their roles. Chandler struggles with being in charge of wiping, while Monica is excited about the plates."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What equity investments? Joey Tribbiani : The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, they're gonna start to think that I don't own it. So I figured I'll wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound. Chandler Bing : You don't even have a car! Monica Geller : I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it. Chandler Bing : And? Monica Geller : And six others. Chandler Bing : There you are. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she tops out at 130. Guy #2 : Wow!", "summary": "Monica washes cars in front of the building to make it look like she owns a Porsche."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And that's just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate. Guy #2 : Really! You got a place upstate? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! Guy #2 : Well, I'll see you later. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, take it easy. The Porsche Owner : Hey! That's my car. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it. The Porsche Owner : What-what are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now I'm just polishing her up. The Porsche Owner : But it's my car!", "summary": "Joey takes a girl to 160 mph in his car upstate, then gets caught by another man who owns the car."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but it's my wax. The Porsche Owner : Listen, I-I-I don't come to this city much so I don't know if you're crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Here. I'll uh, save your parking spot. The Porsche Owner : I'm not coming back. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? The Porsche Owner : I live upstate. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so did I. Phoebe Buffay : I don't know why I was so nervous about this. And I don't know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy. Monica Geller : Yeah, two hours, a lifetime that's the same. Chandler Bing : Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog!", "summary": "The Porsche owner accidentally leaves their keys in Joey Tribbiani's care, who offers to save their parking spot. The Porsche owner reveals they live upstate and has no intention of returning, leading to a discussion about why Phoebe Buffay was nervous about the encounter and Frank and Alice's constant complaining. Meanwhile, Chandler Bing excitedly shows off his new baby friends, Krog."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someone's eye out! Chandler Bing : He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe! Phoebe Buffay : No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, that's just gonna mess them up. Chandler Bing : They're not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Chandler Bing : Glass, sand, whatever. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep. Monica Geller : Oh it's so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I can still do that. Monica Geller : How are you still single?!", "summary": "Chandler Bing reveals his father's abusive past and how he used to throw him into piles of broken glass when he was a kid. The group expresses concern for Chandler's safety and Monica wonders why he is still single."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right. I thought about it and maybe you're right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy. Monica Geller : Good. What made you change your mind? Chandler Bing : I swallowed the sonic blaster gun. Phoebe Buffay : How did that happen?!! Chandler Bing : Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Y'know? And it turns out I was wrong. And now it's lodged in my throat. Monica Geller : Damnit! Y'know this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! Judge : Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment? Rachel Green : Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out. Judge : So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable. Ross Geller : Fine, I'm mentally unstable.", "summary": "Chandler swallows a sonic blaster gun to prove he's right, but it gets lodged in his throat. Monica and Phoebe are distracted by babies while Judy presides over their annulment request due to Ross's mental instability."}
-{"dialogues": "Judge : And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Uh yes, heroin and crack. Ross Geller : Crack isn't even an intravenous drug! Rachel Green : Well, you would know. Judge : Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage? Ross Geller : Oh, come on! Rachel Green : Ross, please, I found the magazines! Judge : And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin. Ross Geller : Okay, I'm sorry, this is insane! I-I-I'm not addicted to heroin, I'm not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, I'll consummate this marriage right here, right now!", "summary": "Ross Geller is accused of lying about his sexual preference before marriage, drug addiction, and unable to consummate the marriage."}
-{"dialogues": "Judge : That won't be necessary. Ross Geller : And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies! Rachel Green : Ugh! Judge : Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem. Rachel Green : Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! And could you strike \"Consummated like bunnies\" from the record? Judge : Is there, anything in this record that is actually true? Rachel Green : Well, yes, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names I think. Judge : Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly don't qualify for an annulment. If you two don't want to be together you'll have to file for divorce. Ross Geller : That's great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form! Rachel Green : What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue in court over their marriage."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : And what--What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We don't get the annulment. Don't type that! What?! Stop typing! Hey! Stop typing! Stop typing! Stop typing!! Rachel Green : Okay, do you see, do you see what you're keeping me married too?! Judge : You need to get out of my chambers. Rachel Green : All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one! Ross Geller : Yeah! Judge : Would you like to spend the night in jail? Rachel Green : And thank you for your time. Joey Tribbiani : So the Porsche guy took his car back. Chandler Bing : But you found the keys to his clothes? Joey Tribbiani : No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying to get an annulment, but the judge refuses to grant it. Rachel becomes upset and refuses to leave the judge's chambers until she gets what she wants. Meanwhile, Joey has found the keys to the Porsche salesman's clothes, but not the car itself."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : And people will think you own a Porsche because you're wearing the clothes? Joey Tribbiani : Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn't have the car! Right? Chandler Bing : That is true. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I've been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. Monica Geller : Joey, you know you don't actually have one. Joey Tribbiani : Come on! What are you doing?! I'm in character! Would you talk to her! Chandler Bing : Ahh, I think it just moved. It's really poking me. Monica Geller : All right, that's it, we're going to the emergency room. Phoebe Buffay : What?! No, you can't, you can't leave me here with them! We're baby-sitting!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang pretends Joey has a Porsche to impress women. Phoebe swallows a sonic blaster gun and Chandler gets poked by something. Monica takes them to the emergency room."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : The babies are asleep, I'm sure you'll be okay on your own for a while! Phoebe Buffay : But you-you can't leave me with them! We-we're a team! We're playing a zone! They're gonna triple team me! Monica Geller : He's got something plastic lodged in his throat, we've got to go to the hospital. Phoebe Buffay : But no, because a doctor won't be able to help him, it's just gonna y'know naturally pass through his system in like seven years. Chandler Bing : I think that's gum. Phoebe Buffay : I'm pretty sure it's gun. Chandler Bing : Okay, listen this really hurts. Let's go. Phoebe Buffay : A real man wouldn't just run to the hospital! No! What would, what would Krog do? Joey Tribbiani : Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche? Passerby : Maybe because you've got the keys?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are taking care of two babies while Chandler is away. However, when Chandler returns, he reveals that he has ingested something plastic and needs to go to the hospital. Phoebe disagrees and insists that they shouldn't go, believing that the object will pass through his system naturally in seven years. Meanwhile, Joey can't find his Porsche and wonders if he left the keys somewhere."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Porsche. Rachel Green : This is totally your fault! Ross Geller : My fault?! You threatened the judge! Rachel Green : Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporter's machine!! Ross Geller : That was the only way I could get him to stop typing! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! How are the Gellers? Rachel Green : Don't call us that! Ross Geller : The judge wouldn't let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! It's Porsche!! Phoebe Buffay : Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, I'm gonna take that spit bubble as, \"Yeah, I do!\" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, I'll set you up with a clean one. Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? 'Cause let's face it, we're at Monica's. I broke it. All right. Well, that's just the way that goes. Okay, good. Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you can't answer. Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! Oh, you're a lot mischievous! Well, it'll dry. Okay, you sit with your brother and sister now-who aren't there!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying to get an annulment but the judge won't let them. They are now forced to get a divorce instead. Joey brings up Porsche, who threw up on him. Phoebe offers to take care of the messy situation while Monica tries to clean up after Leslie, who is not present."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : How do you feel? Chandler Bing : Well, let's just say that Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed 'em, bathed 'em, and put 'em to bed. Chandler Bing : And protected them from a tornado? Monica Geller : Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : I know, the babies are asleep. Monica Geller : Phoebe, what, what happened here?! Phoebe Buffay : I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself! Monica Geller : But my apartment!", "summary": "The universe is in danger when Krog threatens to destroy it again. Meanwhile, Phoebe takes care of the Buffay-Geller babies while Chandler and Monica are away. However, things take a turn when a tornado hits their apartment complex and Phoebe must protect the babies from harm."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph. Monica Geller : But the mess! Chandler Bing : Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself. Monica Geller : You're right, you're right I shouldn't freak out. 'Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?! Chandler Bing : Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!! Rachel Green : Oh honey thank God you're home, I was getting worried. Ross Geller : I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, I've already signed everything and I put little 'X's where you need to sign. Rachel Green : Oh, little 'X's! Great! That makes up for everything! Ross Geller : Y'know, I-I-you've done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay? Rachel Green : Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one!", "summary": "Phoebe helps deliver Monica and Chandler's babies while they are away. When they return, they find a messy house and a signed divorce paper from Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married! Rachel Green : Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you! Ross Geller : Yeah! Right! Ross Geller : You're right. That's very different. So let's, let's just sign the papers. All right? What? Rachel Green : Nothing. Ross Geller : Okay, can we just sign please? Rachel Green : Uh-hmm. Ross Geller : Congratulations. Rachel Green : Okay Ross, we're-wait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession. Ross Geller : What?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past actions, including flying to London to stop Ross's wedding and telling him she loved him after he was already married. They argue and then decide to sign the divorce papers. However, before they can do so, Rachel reveals that she has a confession."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, y'know this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea. Ross Geller : Excuse me? Rachel Green : Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the night we were married? Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : And uh, yeah, I didn't really, I didn't want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess. Ross Geller : So then if-if-I mean if you think about it, this is all your fault. Rachel Green : Yeah, don't push it though. Ross Geller : I've got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you. Rachel Green : I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldn't be a secret, and we wouldn't have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. Ross Geller : Did I, did I even treat?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross get drunk and accidentally get married in a casino. They try to keep it a secret but eventually reveal the truth to each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special. Ross Geller : That may be the most depressing thing I've heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyer's office. Rachel Green : Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this. Ross Geller : Eh, no problem. Rachel Green : I'm gonna need a copy of those. Ross Geller : Totally. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche! Woman : Hi Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How you doin'? Woman : He has the most amazing Porsche under there!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross discuss a newlywed special, with Rachel insisting it was on the house. Ross expresses his depression over the situation. Joey enters the conversation and warns Rachel to be careful around his Porsche."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'd love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping. Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? Chandler Bing : Okay! Listen, I'm gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent. Joey Tribbiani : Right! And when is that due? Chandler Bing : First of the month. Joey Tribbiani : And that's every month? Chandler Bing : No, just the months you actually want to live here. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh. Chandler Bing : Okay, here is the phone bill. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God!! Chandler Bing : That's our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why don't I just-why don't I just cover you for a while?", "summary": "Joey wants to show Chandler a girl he's interested in, but she's sleeping. Chandler announces he's moving out and Joey will be responsible for paying the rent, which is due on the first of every month. Joey is surprised by the high phone bill and Chandler offers to cover his expenses for a while."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity...anymore. Chandler Bing : It's not charity, Joe... Joey Tribbiani : No! Forget it! Okay-I mean thanks, but I'm done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, what's next? Come on. Chandler Bing : Okay uh, here's the electric bill. Joey Tribbiani : This is how much we pay for electric?!!! Chandler Bing : Uh, yeah. Chandler Bing : So, we'll do the rest of the bills later then? Phoebe Buffay : So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment? Chandler Bing : No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldn't take it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, how much do you think he needs?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani refuses to accept charity from Chandler Bing, despite Chandler offering to help him pay his electric bill."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, y'know? But I have to trick him into taking it so I won't hurt his pride. Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want. Chandler Bing : Well that would help the pride thing. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Wow! You look great! Wanna move in with me tomorrow? Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay! So, what do you girls have planned for tonight? Monica Geller : Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought we'd go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : And also, my birthday. Monica Geller : It's not your birthday.", "summary": "$1,500 for a few months, then acting skits to avoid hurting his pride. Move in with Monica tomorrow. Celebrate Rachel moving in with Phoebe, also Phoebe's birthday (not really)."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you it's not your birthday! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! So you guys have anything planned for the big last night? Chandler Bing : Well, instead of just hanging out, we figure we'd do nothing. Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I thought maybe you guys would come over and watch it. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know Ross, not if you're gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist. Ross Geller : I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist! Rachel Green : Pheebs, I was wondering...", "summary": "Ross wants to watch the Knicks game with his friends, but Joey teases him about giving up basketball to become a paleontologist. Phoebe and Chandler have no plans for the \"big last night.\" Rachel joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You're not dressed yet?! We're supposed to start having fun in 15 minutes! Rachel Green : Well and clearly not a minute sooner. Monica Geller : Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me that you're packed. Rachel Green : Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight. Phoebe Buffay : My God, I can't get a minute of peace around this place. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica's just gonna kill you. Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah, I know. Phoebe Buffay : Well, what you're wearing is fine for that. Monica Geller : Rachel, I need to borrow-You're not packed!!!! You're not packed even a little bit! Rachel Green : Surprise!!", "summary": "Rachel isn't dressed and Monica is getting frustrated. Phoebe tries to help Rachel decide what to wear but Monica is still annoyed."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : No, no don't get mad because look-this is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, \"What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!\" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da! Monica Geller : I'll be coordinator! Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I didn't get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, can't you Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : I have plans. Monica Geller : You're plans were with us. Phoebe Buffay : That's right. Monica Geller : All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay! Oh my God, thank you!! Phoebe Buffay : Hurry! Monica's gonna make you pack! She's got jobs for everyone! Now, it's too late for me, but save your selves!", "summary": "Monica wants to be in charge of packing for a move and enlists the help of her friends. Phoebe has plans and Joey, Chandler, and Ross offer to assist with packing and wrapping."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, we're gonna start with... Chandler Bing : Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey. Monica Geller : I thought you said you were going to do nothing. Chandler Bing : Yes, but for the last time. Monica Geller : Okay fine, now Ross... Ross Geller : Oh, but-but I can't do it. Monica Geller : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : I've got Ben. Ross Geller : Because, because I've got Ben. Monica Geller : It's almost 8 o'clock, it's almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he?", "summary": "Monica plans to have movers arrive in 11 hours but Rachel has not packed; everyone must help, including Chandler and Joey, who initially decline but ultimately change their minds; Ross also declines, citing his son Ben's late bedtime."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : He's at a dinner party. Monica Geller : Is he really coming? Because I can see right into your apartment! Ross Geller : Of course he is! What, do you think I'd just use my son as-as an excuse? What kind of father do you think I am? Monica Geller : All right, sorry. Ross Geller : I gotta go make a fake Ben. Joey Tribbiani : Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates. Chandler Bing : Oh, I wish I'd know you were going to do that, I ordered Chinese. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's okay. Hey, actually in a way it's kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours! Chandler Bing : Say, Joe, I had a strange idea of what we could do for our last night. What do you say we play a little uh, foosball for money? Joey Tribbiani : What, are you crazy? You haven't beaten me once since my injury plagued '97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica attend a dinner party together. While there, Chandler reveals that he had a strange idea for their last night as roommates, which involves playing foosball for money. Joey, however, refuses to play, citing his past losses to Chandler since his injury-plagued 1997 season."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes it would. What do you say to $50? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, you're on. Chandler Bing : Okay, let's play! The big game, Italy vs. China, apparently. Rachel Green : Ohhhhhh, look it's the roller blades. Monica Geller : Oh God! Rachel Green : You remember when we got these? Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : I guess you weren't there. Phoebe Buffay : You guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time... You don't remember? Rachel Green : I'm sorry Pheebs, I guess I'm just really said that I'm leaving.", "summary": "Italy vs. China in a big game. Chandler and Joey bet $50 on the outcome. Monica and Rachel reminisce about their past experiences with rollerblading. Phoebe tries to get everyone to have fun but Rachel announces that she's leaving."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm gonna miss you so much. Phoebe Buffay : Well, this doesn't have to be so sad though. Y'know? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much you're gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things you're not gonna miss. Monica Geller : I don't think there's anything. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, there's gotta be something. Monica Geller : Nope, she's perfect. Rachel Green : I have one. Phoebe Buffay : Good! Great! You can go first. Rachel Green : Uh well, I guess I'm not gonna miss the fact that you're never allowed to move the phone pen. Phoebe Buffay : Good that's a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Y'know? Does Rachel move the phone pen? Monica Geller : Aw, sometimes. Always, actually.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are discussing how they will miss each other after she moves away. They suggest thinking about things they won't miss instead of just dwelling on the sadness. Rachel joins in and shares a humorous observation about Monica never allowing her to move the phone pen."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, good. There you go. Doesn't anyone feel better? Monica Geller : Not just the phone pen. I never get my messages. Rachel Green : You get your messages! Monica Geller : Yeah, well I don't think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch. Rachel Green : So-so, you missed a message from who? Chandler or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom? Phoebe Buffay : Great! It worked! No one's sad. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! That's like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! $500 that is a loooot of electricity! Whoo-ho-ho! I gotta buy some food. Chandler Bing : Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000. Joey Tribbiani : You serious? Chandler Bing : Oh yes!", "summary": "Monica never gets her messages, Rachel reads hers off a couch, Phoebe wins at a trivia game, and Joey owes $500 in electricity. Chandler offers to play a sudden death match for $1,000."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, get ready to owe me! Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here we go. Ready? Chandler Bing : No! No! No! No--one can beat me. Chandler Bing : See? Now, that's why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking. Monica Geller : Hello? Oh, hi Ross! See? Other people call me! Rachel Green : Ooh, your brother. Score! Monica Geller : What's up? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm just over here with Ben. I thought we'd say hi. Monica Geller : Oh, put him on!", "summary": "Joey challenges Chandler to a kicking competition, but Chandler quickly becomes exhausted. Meanwhile, Monica answers a phone call from Rachel and Ross tries to impress Ben by pretending he's with someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. Oh, I guess he doesn't feel like talking right now. He's smiling though! Okay, talk to you later. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades? Rachel Green : You know what else I'm not gonna miss? \"I'm Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!\" Monica Geller : \"Hi I'm Rachel, is my sweater too tight? No? Oh, I'd better wash it and shrink it!\" Rachel Green : \"I'm Monica, I don't get phone messages from interesting people. Ever!\" Phoebe Buffay : Hey! I call her! Monica Geller : \"Oh my God, I love Ross! I hate Ross! I love Ross! I hate Ross!\" Rachel Green : \"Oh my God, I can't find a boyfriend! So I guess I'll just stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!\" Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we should get a move on if we wanna make those dinner reservations. Chandler Bing : Still broken?", "summary": "Ross and Ben don't want to talk; Rachel misses her toilet-washing days; Monica hates getting messages from interesting people; Phoebe tries to call Monica; Monica loves/hates Ross; Rachel can't find a boyfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : This sucks man! The last night you're here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500. Chandler Bing : Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? Joey Tribbiani : Nah, not my game. Chandler Bing : Okay, uh, how about, how about-y'know what? We could play a new game. A new game, it's fun. Joey Tribbiani : Well, what's it called? Chandler Bing : Cups. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know how to play Cups. Chandler Bing : I'll teach ya! Come on, come on, it's really easy and really, really fun. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler Bing : Okay, here you go. I have two queens, what do you have?", "summary": "Joey loses important items (foosball table & money) on last night, Chandler suggests playing games to win back money; Joey declines but agrees to play \"Cups\" when Chandler offers to teach him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : A two and a five. Chandler Bing : Ho-ho, you win! 50 dollars! Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Okay, let's play again. What do you got? Joey Tribbiani : A four and a nine. Chandler Bing : You're kidding right? Joey Tribbiani : No. Why? Chandler Bing : Well that's a full cup! Joey Tribbiani : Damn! I am good at Cups! Monica Geller : I'm not talking to her!", "summary": "Joey wins $50 from Chandler in a game of \"Cups.\" Chandler tries to convince Joey to play again, but Joey is confident in his skills. Monica intervenes and joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because she's the one who's leaving. It's harder for her! Monica Geller : Well, maybe you're right-She made fun of my phone pen! Phoebe Buffay : I know, I took it hard too. Monica Geller : Listen Rachel, I feel really bad about-What are you doing? Rachel Green : I'm unpacking! Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : I'm not moving! Is that picture straight? Monica Geller : It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left! Rachel Green : Hey, y'know what? You're the one who wants to make this big change and move in with Chandler! You should be the one to go! Why should I have to leave?! Monica Geller : Because it's my apartment!", "summary": "Rachel Green is moving out and the friends are having a conversation about who should take the first step. Monica Geller suggests that Rachel should be the one to go since she's the one leaving. Phoebe Buffay adds that it's harder for Rachel, who made fun of Monica's phone pen earlier in the conversation. The friends continue to discuss the move and their feelings about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well it's mine too! What else you got?! Monica Geller : How about, you're moving!! Rachel Green : Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, how are you guys doing? Rachel Green : Great! Monica's moving! Monica Geller : I am not! Rachel Green : Oh really?! Then how come all your stuff is in this box?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know what's going on here. Okay, you guys... STOP!! I know that, I know that you're acting mad because you think that it'll make it easier to leave. But deep down you're still really sad. Deep-deep down. Monica Geller : No Phoebe I am mad! Phoebe Buffay : Well, deep-deep-deep down!", "summary": "Monica moves out and Rachel and Phoebe try to help her pack but they get into an argument."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm just mad! Phoebe Buffay : Then keep running. Chandler Bing : You win. Joey Tribbiani : Well, what did you have? Chandler Bing : It doesn't matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, wow, 700. Chandler Bing : Not 700 exactly? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Double it! Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are angry; Chandler says \"You win\"; Joey asks what Chandler had, but Chandler replies that nothing beats a three and a six (D-Cup); Joey reveals he has won $700, but Chandler corrects him and tells him to double it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well you see in Cups, once you get $700, you have to double it. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Chandler Bing : Hey, I didn't make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. Don't get to excited because that's not gonna happen unless you get-No way! Monica Geller : Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I'm just gonna label it, \"What were you thinking?\" Rachel Green : Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, I don't mean to make things worse, but umm, I don't want to live with Rachel anymore. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : You're just so mean to each other! And I don't want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you! Rachel Green : Well, Phoebe that's fine because I'm not moving. Monica Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y'know I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y'know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey discuss a game where you double your money and then receive one card with a potential value of $100. Monica finds a box of Chandler's clothes and labels it \"What were you thinking?\" Rachel and Phoebe have a disagreement over living arrangements, and Phoebe decides she doesn't want to live with Rachel anymore."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh really? Like what Monica? Monica Geller : Y'know she has 147,000 pairs of boots... Rachel Green : Oh yeah, good start Mon. Monica Geller : She lets you borrow them. Rachel Green : Yeah and you stretch 'em out with your big old clown feet. Monica Geller : Do you wanna live outside?! Because it's gettin' cold! She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she'll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I'd like. Phoebe Buffay : What else? Monica Geller : When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror. Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that. Phoebe Buffay : That's nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.", "summary": "Monica has 147,000 pairs of boots and lets Rachel borrow them. Monica folds down the pages of catalogues for Rachel and leaves her notes on the mirror while showering."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket. Rachel Green : Well y'know, I don't want you to be cold. Monica Geller : And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! Rachel Green : Oh, it's gonna be fine. Phoebe Buffay : Okay Rachel, I can't wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! We'll have so much fun!! Rachel Green : But honey, I think she's moving in with Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's right. You're still set on that? Monica Geller : Kinda. Oh my God! Ross Geller : Hello? Hey Mon, how's the packing going? Ben? He's fine. Yeah, he's right-Oh my God! Get your head of your shirt there son! What? Yeah, it's a pumpkin. I'll come pack. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Monica moves in with Chandler and Rachel is supportive. Phoebe suggests living together, but Monica has to move in with Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What's wrong? Joey Tribbiani : Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups! Chandler Bing : Wh-How did you lose at Cups?! Joey Tribbiani : The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin' Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didn't even get half a cup! Nothin'!! Chandler Bing : Oh man!! Joey Tribbiani : And he never played before either! Y'know what I think? I think beginner's luck, very important in Cups. Chandler Bing : All right, let's play one more hand! One more! Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! I'm serious this time! In-in fact, look, there's a-I wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, y'know, thank you for being such a great roommate. Chandler Bing : I can't take the big white dog! You love it! Joey Tribbiani : It's him, not it!", "summary": "Ross and Joey were helping the girls pack when they took a break to play Cups. Joey lost $1500 to Ross and blamed beginner's luck. Chandler wanted to play one more hand but Joey refused and gave him the big white dog as a thank-you for being a good roommate."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, but wait-what if I bought it from you, y'know? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say $1,500? Joey Tribbiani : Wait a second, I see what you're trying to do here! You-you're trying to give me money again! Chandler Bing : When did I try to give you money? Joey Tribbiani : Over there! Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said \"No,\" you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again! Chandler Bing : I'm just trying to help you out! Okay? I wanna make sure that you're okay. Joey Tribbiani : I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I can't take care of myself. Okay? Look, I'm not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that I'm gonna miss...is you. And now the dog. Monica Geller : Hey. Call me when you get there. Okay? Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : I'm really gonna miss you. Rachel Green : Oh! I have your key. Here you go.", "summary": "Chandler tries to give Joey money, who rejects it. They spend the night together and have fun, but Chandler brings up the charity again. Joey gets upset and tells Chandler he can take care of himself. Monica enters and they say their goodbyes before Rachel leaves with the key."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh God! This is silly, I'm gonna see you in a couple of hours! Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Bye house! Rachel Green : Bye Mon. Monica Geller : Bye. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : She really left. Chandler Bing : I know.", "summary": "Rachel leaves a message for Monica before she heads to Paris and Monica replies, then Chandler mentions that Rachel has actually left."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : No problem roomie. Monica Geller : Can I ask you a question? Chandler Bing : Sure! Monica Geller : What the hell is that dog doing here?! Chandler Bing : I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money. Ross Geller : And now you want that money back. Chandler Bing : Exactly. Ross Geller : Chandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? Chandler Bing : It's not a real game! I made it up!", "summary": "Monica asks Chandler a question, and he reveals that he invented a game called \"Cups\" as a way to give Joey money. Ross wants the money back, and Chandler admits that the game isn't real."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm sorry you lost your money, but I won it fair and square. Chandler Bing : At a fake game!! Ross Geller : Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, I'd be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups. Chandler Bing : Okay! Now I assume the Saucer card came up when you played last. Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Hmm, let's see if it comes up this time. Phoebe Buffay : Ready? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Hi...", "summary": "Ross won money in a game and Chandler wants to try to win some of it back by playing Ross in a different game. They begin playing and Ross reveals that he is very good at \"Cups.\" When they play again, the Saucer card comes up."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : it's... Rachel Green : Rachel... Phoebe Buffay : and... Rachel Green : Phoebe's... Phoebe Buffay : please... Rachel Green : leave... Phoebe Buffay : leave... Rachel Green : Wait, I-I just said \"leave.\" Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know because you have all the good words. What do I get? I get \"it's,\" \"and\" oh I'm sorry, I have \"A.\" Forget it. Rachel Green : Phoebe, come on that's silly.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe argue over who gets to use certain words in their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, so let's switch. Rachel Green : No, I have all of the good words. OK, fine, fine, we can switch. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hi... Rachel Green : Everybody... Phoebe Buffay : It's... Rachel Green : Rachel... Phoebe Buffay : and... Rachel Green : Phoebe's...", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe switch conversations, leading to a series of miscommunications and misunderstandings."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Please...wait, how did you do that? Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you? Rachel Green : Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?! Phoebe Buffay : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first y'know roommate bonding thing. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, let's go running! Rachel Green : Yeah and there's really cute guys there. Phoebe Buffay : Let's run towards them! Rachel Green : OK!", "summary": "Rachel invites Phoebe to go running with her before it gets dark, and they bond while running in the park."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, wait just one more second. Hi, it's Phoebe and Rachel's. Please leave a message, thanks! Rachel Green : Now wait a minute. You just took all the words! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. You've met your match Rachel Green. Ross Geller : So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine. Chandler Bing : And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor! Chandler Bing : I didn't nail the boxes to the floor. Monica Geller : Oh, So you can move them!", "summary": "Ross discusses a book about computers that could mimic human brains by 2030, allowing for the possibility of immortality through digital means. Chandler discovers he can sleep with his eyes open and Monica suggests nailing boxes to the floor for easy moving."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey everybody! Uh, I'd like you to meet Janine. She's-she's gonna be my new roommate! Janine Lecroix : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi! Janine Lecroix : Hi Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she's gonna live with me! Monica Geller : It's nice to meet you. Janine...? Janine Lecroix : Lecroix. Janine Lecroix Joey Tribbiani : I didn't know that! Well, what a pretty last name! Chandler Bing : So, uh, wh-where ya from?", "summary": "Ross tells a computer story, and Janine moves in with Joey as his new roommate."}
-{"dialogues": "Janine Lecroix : Australia, I just moved here a couple of weeks ago. Joey Tribbiani : From the land down under? I didn't know that either! Ross Geller : So uh, wha-uh, what do you do? Janine Lecroix : I'm a dancer. Joey Tribbiani : You're a dancer? She-she's a dancer! Janine Lecroix : Well, I think I'll go and unpack. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey let me. Monica Geller : Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in? Joey Tribbiani : Of course I did. Monica Geller : Uh-huh, what exactly did you ask her?", "summary": "Janine Lecroix moves to Australia and meets Ross, Joey, and Monica Geller. Janine reveals she is a dancer, and Joey expresses excitement upon learning this. Later, Monica questions Joey's judgment in asking Janine to move in without proper interviewing."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : \"When can you move in?\" Ross Geller : Thank you for bringing her into our lives. Chandler Bing : Unbelievable Monica Geller : Oh, so you like her too Chandler? Chandler Bing : Hey, look at all the boxes! Joey Tribbiani : Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out! Monica Geller : Wait a minute...Joey. Joey you can't ask her out, she's your roommate. It-it'll be way too complicated. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her. Chandler Bing : All right, think about it. Now remember when you were going out with that girl Donna and you guys broke up. Remember how horrible it was when you guys bumped into each other at the supermarket? Joey Tribbiani : Oh God, yeah.", "summary": "Joey wants to ask his roommate out, but Monica warns him it will be complicated. Ross and Chandler agree, saying they can't date her if Joey does. They bring up a previous breakup as an example of how awkward it would be."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Now imagine you live at the supermarket. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Chandler Bing : No-no Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Oh, you're right! I don't want that. I can't date her! Monica Geller : Yeah and you better watch the flirting too, cause you know, in such close quarters, it could be trouble. Joey Tribbiani : Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt. Monica Geller : Hmm, well you're around me all the time and you don't flirt. Joey Tribbiani : You a little sad about that sweetheart? Phoebe Buffay : I have to tie my shoe, so you go ahead, I'll catch up. Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler live at a supermarket, while Monica warns Joey about flirting with an attractive woman in close quarters. Phoebe joins the conversation, and Rachel enters later."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Come on! That's not running! Let's go! Rachel Green : You guys, I'm telling you, when she runs, she looks like a cross between Kermit The Frog and The Six Million Dollar Man. Ross Geller : Monica had such a crush on him. Yeah, she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed. Rachel Green : Oh! I used to do that too! Monica Geller : Did you also have his album, It's Not Easy Being Green? Rachel Green : Aw, Mon... Monica Geller : So, Phoebe runs weird huh? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her. Monica Geller : Why don't you just be straight with her? Tell her the truth. Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Monica has a crush on a guy she used to kiss a poster of every night before bed; Phoebe runs weirdly; Monica and Rachel argue about how to handle Monica's crush; Ross suggests telling the truth."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You're right, you're right. I should just tell her the truth. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Pheebs, Monica tripped me, I don't think I can ever run again, ever! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Why would you do that? Monica Geller : I don't know. Rachel I'm-I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles. Rachel Green : Ankle. Monica Geller : We'll see. Chandler Bing : OK, I'm officially unpacked. Thanks for helping me man. Joe? Well, I guess Joey went home. Oh and look, there's still one box that I have to unpack. Joey Tribbiani : I Gotcha!!", "summary": "Rachel injures her ankle after being tripped by Monica, leading to a series of events where she struggles to run again."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh my God! You-almost-gave-me-a-heart-attack. Joey Tribbiani : Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great! Chandler Bing : Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monica's gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me? Joey Tribbiani : I don't! No, I wanna live with the super-hot Australian dancer. Chandler Bing : Yeah, now how's that going though? Are you okay with the not-flirting thing? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Well, so far yeah. But it's tough you know? I got all this built up flirting energy and I don't know how to get rid of it. How you doin? Joey Tribbiani : Ohhhh man Janine Lecroix : Sorry, there's just more room out here. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no, it's-it's uh, you just uh, uh reminded me that uh, I need to do my stretches too. Janine Lecroix : Why don't you try to do-", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are cleaning the apartment while Monica works late. Chandler plans to get her flowers as a surprise. Joey wants to live with the Australian dancer but acknowledges it may be difficult since they're not flirting. Janine enters and Joey quickly excuses himself to stretch."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani :  Janine Lecroix : What's wrong? Joey Tribbiani : Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. Oh my God! Janine Lecroix : Oh, sorry about that stuff hanging in there. It's just my thongs are too delicate for the dryer. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself. Rachel Green : No, no Phoebe no, I was...no. You know what, I was, I was actually just checking to, see, if I could run. And I can! Phoebe Buffay : Please Rachel, I am not an idiot. Rachel Green : No, wait Phoebe. Ross Geller : Wow, couples who live together do start to look alike. So, Mondler...uh, what uh, what 'cha doin? Chandler Bing : What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning!", "summary": "Joey and Janine are in a conversation about Joey being sweaty after a workout. Phoebe walks in and overhears their conversation before joining in. Rachel lies to Phoebe about why she left the house, but later admits she was actually going for a run. Ross notices that couples who live together start to look alike, and Chandler is cleaning."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff? Chandler Bing : Authorization? I don't need that. I'm gonna put everything back. Ross Geller : Put it back exactly where you found it? Chandler Bing : Yes I'm gonna put it back exactly where I found it. Ross Geller : 'Kay, first of all, this attitude is not helping. Chandler Bing : She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place. Ross Geller : Whoa, hello, did you just meet Monica? Chandler Bing : She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it. Ross Geller : Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me. Chandler Bing : I see, I see, y-y-you're trying to freak me out.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss moving Monica's belongings without her permission, leading to a tense exchange."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak...out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you. Chandler Bing : No, she's not okay? And I'll prove it to you. I'm gonna call her right now. Phone's done ehh. Monica Geller : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey Mon, how's it going? Monica Geller : Terrible. If-if I want something done right, I have to do it myself. Other people just wreck stuff. I really think I might kill someone tonight. Chandler Bing : Oh come on, come on, it can't be that bad. Monica Geller : It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early. Chandler Bing : No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there. Monica Geller : Well, are you just hanging out with Ross? Chandler Bing : It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! She's-she's gonna kill me.", "summary": "Monica is upset because she is doing everything herself and feels like other people are not helping or doing things correctly. Chandler tries to call her to check in on her but she is already frustrated and ends up yelling at him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. And that goes back up there. Chandler Bing : We should start with the big stuff. Y'know? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. I got it. Ross Geller : Yeah that-that, doesn't look right. Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the... OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table. Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, but then the back of the couch won't line up with he back of the carpet. Chandler Bing : OK well here, we'll just move the coffee table closer to the couch. Ross Geller : Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area. Chandler Bing : Yes, but the coffee table doesn't match the...blahebdmsdlkhdyslkd;btyds...Rooosss!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! What the hell's going on over here?!?!? Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time. Ross Geller : Hey, I've been married 3 times", "summary": "Ross and Chandler struggle to move a couch and coffee table without disrupting the alignment of the room's furniture layout. Meanwhile, Joey tries to fend off an unrequited crush on Monica, who is unlikely to approve of his advances."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret? Ross Geller : Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue. Chandler Bing : Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine? Ross Geller : Yeah, well what about you? You weren't you know, so hot in college either. After everything he said, he'd go \"ba dum bum chessh\" Chandler Bing : Yeah, Monica doesn't like that either, Maybe I should stop doing that. Ross Geller : Oh y'know what, girls don't like it when I start talking about science. Chandler Bing : That's not specific to girls. Joey Tribbiani : This is great, this is great, what else, what else? Ross Geller : Uh, they don't like it when you correct their grammar. Chandler Bing : And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny.", "summary": "Ross, Joey, and Chandler discuss how they have difficulty connecting with women and what they believe to be their turn-offs. They share personal experiences of unsuccessful attempts at flirting and conversing with women, including talking about controversial topics like the Irish potato famine, correcting grammar, and explaining why their jokes are funny."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you. Chandler Bing : Man, I'm so lucky I have Monica. Ross Geller : I'm never gonna find love again. Rachel Green : Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Sure Rachel Green : Okay, um, I... All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you. Phoebe Buffay : So, what should you have done? Rachel Green : Well, I-I should've told you the truth. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-Huh, Which is...? Rachel Green : Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...", "summary": "Ross struggles to find love again after a recent breakup. Chandler expresses gratitude for having Monica in his life. Rachel apologizes to Phoebe for lying about running with her and reveals the real reason she didn't want to go running with her is because of the way she runs."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So? Rachel Green : Well, it's embarrassing. People were looking at us like we were crazy. Phoebe Buffay : Why do you care? Rachel Green : Because they're people. Phoebe Buffay : But people that you don't know and will never see again. Rachel Green : Yes, but still. They're people...with eyes. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss . But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight. Rachel Green : I-I am not uptight-Hey-hey-hey-oh-oh! Listen, I am not uptight, man. Phoebe Buffay : That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didn't you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? The neighbor's dog. Chandler Bing : Okay, is this lamp in the same place?", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel go for a run together, but Rachel is embarrassed by their unusual pace and Phoebe teases her for being uptight. They reminisce about running as kids, with Phoebe claiming she still runs like she did then. Chandler enters the conversation and asks if a lamp is in the same place."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Who cares? I repel women. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!!! You can't come in here! R-r-r-r-Ross is naked. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked. Ross Geller : Why does anyone have to be naked? Monica Geller : Why is Ross naked? Ross Geller : I-I had to show Chandler something? Monica Geller : Naked? Ross Geller : Yeah-yeah I uh, I have a uh, a guy problem.", "summary": "Ross is naked and Chandler enters uninvited, leading to a series of misunderstandings and comedic moments."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Is it the same thing that Chandler had? Chandler Bing : Look, uh, just come later, we'll get everything squared away and you can come back later. Monica Geller : Okay, listen, there's still some of Chandler's medicine under the sink in the bathroom. Bye! Chandler Bing : Bye! Thank God Ross Geller : Dude, what'd you have? Chandler Bing : Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place. Ross Geller : The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures. Chandler Bing : That's perfect! That's brilliant! Ross Geller : So really, what'd ya have? Janine Lecroix : Hey Joey, I got some beer for you.", "summary": "Chandler had something, and Monica found leftover medicine under the sink. Chandler tries to avoid talking about it, and Ross suggests they organize the apartment using the photo album. Janine brings Joey beer."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh, don't you mean \"for whom?\" Janine Lecroix : Sure, listen I was gonna order some pizza, you wanna share one? Joey Tribbiani : Pizza, heh, its not like I never had that before...ba dum bum cheshhh. Janine Lecroix : Is there something wrong? Joey Tribbiani : All right, All right, let's just get this out in the open okay? You're hot. I'm lovable. Clearly there's a vibe going on between us. But, we're roommates and it's a huge mistake for us to continue down this road. Janine Lecroix : Joey... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do? Janine Lecroix : Well, I don't think there is anything to do. I mean I think you're really sweet, but I'm just not interested in you like that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Janine Lecroix : No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Janine Lecroix have a conversation about pizza and their feelings for each other. Joey admits he has had romantic feelings for Janine before but believes it would be a mistake to pursue anything further as they are roommates. Janine agrees and expresses her own lack of interest in Joey romantically, leaving them both feeling disappointed but understanding of each other's feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on. Janine Lecroix : I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I do. How you doin? Janine Lecroix : I'm OK Joey Tribbiani : What?!?! Janine Lecroix : What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh dear God! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'm so sorry, you were right, this feels great!", "summary": "Joey tries to repel Janine but fails. He then turns on the charm and asks how she is, but Janine remains unimpressed. Meanwhile, Rachel and Phoebe enter the conversation and agree with Joey that it feels great."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone! Rachel Green : Gone! I mean its amazing Pheebs. I feel so free and so graceful. Hey! Look out for the horse! Sorry! Monica Geller : Is it okay for me to come in now? Chandler Bing : Uh-huh Monica Geller : Why is everything different? Ross Geller : Bye! Chandler Bing : No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. Monica Geller : Well, the end table is wrong, The couch looks bizarre and don't even get me started on the refrigerator magnets. Chandler Bing : Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : It's okay. Chandler, are you afraid of me or something?", "summary": "The group visits Rachel's new apartment and notices that everything is different from how they left it. Chandler cleans the apartment but accidentally moves everything around and can't remember where he put things back. Monica gets upset and Chandler apologizes, while Rachel feels free and graceful after practicing her dance moves in the living room."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Do you want me to be afraid of you? Monica Geller : Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Of course! Chandler Bing : Oh well you're the best. You come here to me. Monica Geller : All right, hold on okay? First thing's first. Okay, now did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked? Ross Geller : So it said that by the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same number of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically we could download our thoughts and our memories into this computer... Janine Lecroix : ...and live forever as a machine! Ross Geller : That's so Janine, you-you-you know what, do you know we're doing right now? You and I, we're interfacing. Janine Lecroix : Yeah, I gotta go.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a conversation about his concern for neatness, and Monica reassures him that she appreciates it. Ross joins in and shares a topic of discussion with Janine about downloading memories into a computer to live forever."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ba dum bumb cheshhh! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hi, my name's Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, neighbor come on in. Chandler Bing : So, is Janine around? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, no, she's at dance class. Chandler Bing : Can I check out what she did to my room? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but, hey look, don't go through her stuff. She gets really mad. Chandler Bing : Oh my God. What is th... it's like a guy never lived in here. Look, you've got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. It's spreading already. Joey Tribbiani : It is???", "summary": "Chandler Bing moves in next door and challenges Joey Tribbiani to a battle for control of the last remaining energy source in a post-apocalyptic world. Joey agrees and lets Chandler check out his room, but warns him not to go through Janine's things as she gets angry easily. Chandler is shocked by the state of the room and expresses concern about the \"girl thing\" spreading."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch? Joey Tribbiani : No. Chandler Bing : Is that your tiny little box, that's too small to put anything in? Joey Tribbiani : No. Chandler Bing : No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, you're going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you're right. I'll talk to her. Chandler Bing : Yes talk to her. Be a man. Joey Tribbiani : I'm a man. Chandler Bing : Defend yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Hmm.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are at Joey's apartment, where Joey has brought a woman over. Chandler is suspicious of the woman and tries to convince Joey to confront her about why she's there. Joey initially resists, but eventually agrees to talk to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle. Chandler Bing : Be right there sweetums. A totally different situation. Monica Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey, how was your breakfast with Hillary? Monica Geller : It was okay. She's still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend. Chandler Bing : Ohh, yeah. Ross Geller : Well, is this Hillary your HOT assistant chef Hillary? Monica Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : The one that always stares at me when I come in? Monica Geller : No, the one who looked at you once because you got in her way.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have to hem a new dust ruffle together. While they work, Monica mentions that Hillary, their assistant chef, is still depressed after breaking up with her boyfriend. Ross asks if Hillary is the same woman who always stares at him when he comes in, but Monica corrects him and says no, it's a different Hillary."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Still I could tell. She was into me. Well, why don't you set us up? Rachel Green : Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress? Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I'm, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdale's and use the copy machine. Rachel Green : Well, sure, but they might think it's kinda weird considering I don't work there anymore. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. What happened? Rachel Green : I-I, got a job at Ralph Lauren.", "summary": "Ross sets up Rachel with someone, but she is hesitant due to concerns about the woman's wedding dress. Phoebe tries to use the copy machine at Bloomingdale's to make flyers for new massage clients, but Rachel is unsure if it's a good idea due to her own recent job change at Ralph Lauren."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well that's great! Congratulations!! Rachel Green : Yeah. A year ago.. Phoebe Buffay : You've lasted a whole year. Good for you. Rachel Green : But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesn't see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesn't like me very much. Chandler Bing : That's weird. I don't think my boss likes me either. Monica Geller : I don't think mine likes me either. Ross Geller : Maybe it's a universal thing? Joey Tribbiani : Or maybe, it's because you're hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. Chandler Bing : Yeah let's head off to work. Monica Geller : We should go.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss Rachel's job at Central Perk, with Phoebe congratulating her on lasting a year. Rachel reveals that she can still use the copy machine at her workplace but must avoid being seen by Kim, who dislikes her. Chandler and Monica also mention their bosses not liking them, while Joey suggests it may be due to hanging out at Central Perk late on a Wednesday. The group decides to head off to work."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Rachel Green : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Now you will not believe this. But, I was in the copy room, making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Did you talk to him? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah a little. He seems really nice. Good kisser. Rachel Green : What? What!?! You kissed him? Phoebe Buffay : Totally. Rachel Green : Phoebe are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, we're making out. You know. Rachel Green : Phoebe, I mean, you do know he's married?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay kissed Ralph Lauren in a copy room after he introduced himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel Green : Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if he's married? No, yeah, I should. Janine Lecroix : Hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something? Janine Lecroix : No, I just thought it was cute. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh...Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. It's...too girly. Janine Lecroix : Ohh. Like what? Joey Tribbiani : Like this. Pictures of cute babies we don't know. We..we can't have that. Janine Lecroix : Joey, it's Anne Geddes. She's a famous artist.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel argue over whether or not to ask every guy they make out with if he's married. Janine joins their conversation and Joey tries to impress her by being overly masculine, but she finds his attempts to be \"too girly.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look I don't know this baby. I don't know if she's a famous artist or not. You know, and I don't want to be a jerk but you're changing too much around here. Janine Lecroix : Well, I'm sorry. I just thought I'd try to make the place a little nicer. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah but it's too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can. Janine Lecroix : Well I just thought... Joey Tribbiani : I'm sure it's a famous watering can, okay. But, come on...and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom? Janine Lecroix : It's a curling iron. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, well, that's ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. It's up here on some hook..and...smells different. Janine Lecroix : It's clean. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, it feels different. Janine Lecroix : It's dry.", "summary": "A man (Joey) is unhappy with a woman (Janine) who has been making changes to his home without consulting him. He expresses his frustration over various changes she has made, including adding new decorations and rearranging his belongings. The man is particularly concerned about the location of his towel in the bathroom and the smell of the cleaned space."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels...Also what is with these chips you bought? Janine Lecroix : No no no no, it's potpourri. You're supposed to smell it. Joey Tribbiani : Well that's like summer in a bowl. Rachel Green : Oh, Kim, Hi. Kim : Uhh-huh. Rachel Green : So you know, I...I handed in that marketing report and I never got to hear what you thought. Kim : I didn't read it. Rachel Green : Ahh....So...Wow...The spring line, it's really going to be great this year, huh? Kim : Yeah. Rachel Green : So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room.", "summary": "The conversation centers around a disagreement between Joey and Janine about the scent of potpourri, with Joey likening it to summer in a bowl. Rachel enters the conversation and mentions that she handed in a marketing report but never received feedback from Kim. Kim then reveals that she didn't read the report, leading to a discussion about the upcoming spring line of clothing and rumors about Ralph Lauren's personal life."}
-{"dialogues": "Kim : Tell me everything. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : What's up? Chandler Bing : You know...Oh My God. Monica Geller : What happened to your teeth. Ross Geller : I whitened them. Chandler Bing : Really. Ross Geller : Yeah. What do you think. Monica Geller : Well, I think I shouldn't look directly at them.", "summary": "Ross gets his teeth whitened and Chandler reacts with shock."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Come on, seriously. Monica Geller : Ross they're really, really, really white. Chandler Bing : Yeah, what was wrong with your old...human teeth. Ross Geller : Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to. Monica Geller : How much longer? Ross Geller : A-A day. Monica Geller : Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary? Ross Geller : I know. That's why I did it. Come on, are they really that bad? Chandler Bing : No, no no no. You'll be fine. Hillary's bind, right? Monica Geller : She will be after tonight.", "summary": "Ross accidentally whitens his teeth too much and tries to cover it up for a date with Hillary. Chandler teases him about it, but Monica reassures him that he'll be fine."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, hey, hey Rach, do you notice anything..ahh... Rachel Green : Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Chandler Bing : What??? Monica Geller : Oh my god. Rachel Green : Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just...made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip she'd heard all year. Chandler Bing : I am proud of all my friends today. Monica Geller : My God, Rachel, I can't believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, I'm so jealous. Chandler Bing : Hi, I'm Chandler. Your live-in boy Monica Geller : Chandler, please, come on. Look at him.", "summary": "Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Here. Ohh, who's the silver fox? Rachel Green : That-that is your make out buddy. Don't you recognize him? Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please. Phoebe Buffay : That's not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no, Ralph doesn't look anything like that guy. He's-he's young and he's got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack. Rachel Green : Oh My God, Phoebe, that's not Ralph Lauren. That's Kenny the copy guy. Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang mistakenly identifies a man as Ralph Lauren and gets into a series of misunderstandings and lies about it. Rachel reveals that she had told her boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren, leading to fears of getting in trouble."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : To get you to make out with him!!! Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Monica Geller : Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. Nope. Okay, colors that don't work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple. Ross Geller : I don't know what I'm going to do. That date starts in like an hour. Monica Geller : Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldn't look so bright. Ross Geller : Oh great. So all I need to do is get some new skin. Thank you. Monica Geller : I'm just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you. Ross Geller : Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. We're not 13 anymore. Monica Geller : Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working. Ross Geller : But, won't she notice I have makeup on?", "summary": "Ross tries to get advice from his friends on how to make himself look less attractive for a date, but they suggest using makeup instead of changing his skin tone."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Please. Half the guys out there have makeup on. Ross Geller : What?? Monica Geller : All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see. Ross Geller : No. I am not putting on makeup. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. Oh good. Ross could you put up some of these flyers for me? OH!! Demon!! Demon!! Monica Geller : Now are drawers will smell nice and we didn't waste these pantyhose. Chandler Bing : Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? I'm going to go over to Joey's. Monica Geller : Wait, we're supposed to organize the wrapping paper drawer. Chandler Bing : Yes, but I feel like I've really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think we're two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple. Monica Geller : You know what? This has been kind of a girlie day. You're right, I'm sorry.", "summary": "Ross and Monica argue over him putting on makeup, while Phoebe tries to help Ross with flyers. Chandler suggests throwing out old underwear, but Monica insists on organizing the wrapping paper drawer instead. Chandler makes a joke about becoming a lesbian couple with Monica, and they all have a feminine day together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Nah, Nah, it's okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing. Monica Geller : Yeah. Go over to Joey's. Go over to Joey's and drink some beer and hammer up some drywall. Chandler Bing : You know when guys hang out they don't just drink some beer and hammer up drywall? Monica Geller : When girls hang out, we don't have pillow fights in our underwear. I'm sorry. We do. We do. I don't know why I said that. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler. Come on in. We're knitting pot holders. Chandler Bing : No thanks, Josephine. Chandler Bing : Hey Ross, I was wondering if... Oh my God!! Where are all the men??? Rachel Green : Ohh, hi, Kim. Kim : Hi Rachel. Rachel Green : Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didn't happen.", "summary": "Chandler wants to do \"manly\" things with Joey and Monica, but they are doing feminine activities like knitting pot holders. Rachel joins them and Chandler realizes there are no men around."}
-{"dialogues": "Kim : You didn't cancel the fabric order from Taiwan? Rachel Green : Okay, two things didn't happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out that's not true. Kim : That's not true? Rachel Green : No. Kim : Oh that's interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel. Rachel Green : Oh no, no, no. Oh God, you think I made out with him. Kim : Listen to me. If you think sleeping with Ralph is going to get you my job. You are sadly mistaken. Rachel Green : I-I don't want your job. I-I don't. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I don't even know how to use my keycard. Kim : Hi Ralph. Ralph Lauren : Hi Kim.", "summary": "Rachel Green denies making out with a man in the copy room, despite Kim claiming otherwise. Rachel insists she didn't use her keycard during lunchtime and doesn't want Kim's job. Ralph Lauren unexpectedly appears, causing confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Kim : Yeah, nothing happen. You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife. Hillary : And after that, what could I do except become a chef. Ross Geller : Mmm-Hmm. Hillary : And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant. Ross Geller : Mmm. Hillary : You know, you're a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk. Ross Geller : Mm-Hmm. Hillary : After a while it's like, shut your mouth, you know? Ross Geller : Hmm-Hmm. Hillary : I've probably been talking too much. Why don't we talk about you a little bit?", "summary": "Hillary and Kim are at a loss for conversation, with Ross interjecting occasionally. Hillary expresses frustration at the lack of sexual tension and decides to change the subject by revealing her dream of opening her own restaurant."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Mmm-Unmm. Hillary : Come on. I want to know. Ross Geller : Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, let's talk more about you. Hmm. Joey Tribbiani : So what's really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer. Monica Geller : Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip. Chandler Bing : Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers. Monica Geller : Okay. Oh but Joey, come over later because I'm going to teach you to make a bird feeder out of just a pine cone and some peanut butter. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, I love birds. Chandler Bing : What is the matter with you ?!? Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Ross is from Long Island and moved to the city for college. He has a 5-year-old son and enjoys reading spy novels in his free time. Joey shares a tip on how to keep flowers fresh by searing their stems before arranging them, which excites Monica. Chandler interrupts their conversation to speak with the girl with the flowers, while Monica invites Joey over later to make a bird feeder using pine cones and peanut butter."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You're arranging flowers! You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers they're just, you know, they're nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby. Chandler Bing : You're turning into a women. Joey Tribbiani : No I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean. Chandler Bing : Now I've upset you? What did I say? Joey Tribbiani : It's not what you said. It's the way you said it....Oh My God, I'm a woman!!! Rachel Green : Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job. Phoebe Buffay : But why didn't you just tell her the truth. Rachel Green : I did but she doesn't think anyone would be stupid enough to confuse Kenny the copy guy with Ralph Lauren. Phoebe Buffay : Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Joey have a misunderstanding about flowers, which escalates into Chandler accusing Joey of turning into a woman. Rachel becomes involved in the conversation, revealing that she had made out with Kenny (the copy guy) to get his job. Phoebe suggests that maybe Kenny is the brains behind the company and hired Ralph Lauren as a front man."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You were with Kenny today, weren't you? Phoebe Buffay : Just for a second. Rachel Green : Ohh, Phoebe, what am I going to do? Phoebe Buffay : Well, the only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren. Rachel Green : I'm not going to sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldn't. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, sleep with Kenny. Rachel Green : That wouldn't help me. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, yes it would. Hillary : I've had a really good time tonight. Ross Geller : Mmm.", "summary": "Rachel is upset because she saw Kenny with someone else, and Phoebe suggests she sleep with Kenny to get over him. Rachel refuses, and Hillary joins in, enjoying her time with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Hillary : You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date. Ross Geller : Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. Me, neither. I've had a really good time too, you know. Hillary : Are you going to eat that bread? Ross Geller : Ohh, I just like the smell. Mmmm. Hillary : You make me laugh. Ross Geller : Hmm-Hmm. Hillary : Would you like to move over to the couch? Ross Geller : Mmm-Hmm. Hillary : Maybe I'll just turn the lights down a little. Ross Geller : How about all the way.", "summary": "Ross and Hillary have a great time on their first date, bonding over their shared sense of humor and connectivity."}
-{"dialogues": "Hillary : Okay. Ross Geller : Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? So, ahh, where were we? Hillary : Are those your teeth?? Ross Geller : Ohh, you can see them, huh? Hillary : Yes. They're insanely white. Ross Geller : I-I, did that for you. Hillary : What's a matter with you? Ross Geller : What's a matter with me? You've got a black light. It's 1999! Rachel Green : Kim, hi. Kim : Hi Rachel. Ohh, I've been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.", "summary": "Hillary and Ross have a conversation about a poster, where they reminisce about their past experiences and conversations. Hillary notices Ross's teeth and makes a comment about them. Rachel joins the conversation and asks Kim about the new Ralph Lauren sheets."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay..Okay.. Look. I'm sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item but were not anymore. Kim : Oh, really? Rachel Green : Yeah, he dumped me. He said, \"Rachel, I can't do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful woman. I can't do this. I'm married and I'm sorry.\" And then I don't know why but he said, \"and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine.\" Kim : You expect me to believe.. Hi Ralph. Ralph Lauren : Hi Kim. Kim : Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. It's like he hates you. Then it is true. Rachel Green : Of course it's true and it hurts so bad. Kim : Ohh honey come here. Ohh it will be ok. We've all been there. Rachel Green : You and Ralph? Kim : Kenny the copyboy.", "summary": "Rachel Green lies to Kim about her relationship with Ralph Lauren, but later confesses that he dumped her and insulted her chances of promotion. Kim offers support and empathy, revealing that she has also experienced similar betrayal from Kenny the copyboy."}
-{"dialogues": "Janine Lecroix : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, uhh, I need to talk to you. Janine Lecroix : What's the matter? Are you upset? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry but we've got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? That's just the way it has to be. Janine Lecroix : Well, if that's what you want. I'll just put it all in my room. Joey Tribbiani : Great...Great...and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didn't want to make a big deal out of this, you know. You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to. Janine Lecroix : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : And, uhh, maybe the watering can there. Janine Lecroix : Sure. Joey Tribbiani : And a couple of these little tiny boxes.", "summary": "Joey wants to turn the living room into a \"guy place\" and asks Janine to remove all the \"girlie stuff.\" Janine agrees and moves everything to her room, including a picture of a famous baby and a watering can. Joey also requests a few small boxes."}
-{"dialogues": "Janine Lecroix : Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay, great! Bye. So guess who's coming to Thanksgiving dinner? Chandler Bing : Sydney Portier? Hehheh. Monica Geller : I miss Rachel. No, my parents. Chandler Bing : Oh! That's great, they haven't seen the place since I moved in! Monica Geller : Yeah, and y'know, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! , I was thinking we would eat around four. Chandler Bing : Why can't I tell them that we live together? Monica Geller : Because they don't know we're dating. Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? Chandler Bing : Why haven't you told them?!", "summary": "* Janine and Joey discuss putting something in Joey's room.\n* Monica reveals that her parents are coming to Thanksgiving dinner.\n* Chandler jokes about Sydney Portier being there.\n* Monica mentions that she misses Rachel and asks if Chandler can help with preparations for the dinner.\n* Chandler questions why Monica hasn't told her parents about their living arrangement.\n* Monica and Chandler discuss eating in the kitchen or another location for the dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didn't. Chandler Bing : Why haven't you told them?! Wouldn't they be happy?! Monica Geller : So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! I'll see you then. Chandler Bing : Why wouldn't they be happy? Monica Geller : Well, um, because mainly, um, they don't like you. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : What? What? Why?! Monica Geller : Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that you're really sarcastic, or that, y'know, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch. Chandler Bing : Is this why they don't like me or why you don't like me? Monica Geller : Look, I know that I should've told them. I know I shouldn't care what they think. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Y'know, it'll be okay. It'll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then we'll tell 'em.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a conversation about why Monica's friends don't like Chandler. Monica reveals that they are turned off by his aloofness, sarcasm, and inappropriate behavior. Chandler becomes upset and vows to change his ways when they come over for dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You really think that'll work? Chandler Bing : Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didn't I? Monica Geller : I don't think you'll ever get my parents that drunk! Chandler Bing : Hey! Oh, good, Ross! You're parents like me, right? Ross Geller : Yes, of course they like you! Chandler Bing : Well Monica just told me that they don't. Ross Geller : Yeah, they don't like you. Chandler Bing : Do you know why? Ross Geller : I dunno, maybe it's because you're really sarcastic. Or maybe it's cause you uh- Chandler Bing : Well if people don't know they shouldn't just guess!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler try to come up with a plan to get her parents drunk at their dinner party. Chandler believes he can charm them, but Monica is skeptical. Ross reveals that her parents don't like Chandler due to his sarcastic nature."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe I could give thanks for you shuttin' up, eh? Chandler Bing : Maybe I could give thanks by taking my Playstation over to my new apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Well maybe I love ya'. Chandler Bing : . Janine Lecroix : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Janine Lecroix : Hey guys! Ross Geller : No I don't want to play video games, Joey! Janine Lecroix : Are you guys going to Chandler's for Thanksgiving?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are feeling unappreciated on Thanksgiving. Chandler wants to take his PlayStation to his new apartment, while Joey suggests giving thanks for Chandler shutting up. Janine joins the conversation, and they discuss whether or not Ross will join them for a video game marathon at Chandler's apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah, why? What's up? Janine Lecroix : Well, me and my dancer friends are thinking of doing Thanksgiving uptown. I thought you guys might like to come. Ross Geller : For real? Janine Lecroix : No, but you should go to Chandler's. Because none of us knows how to cook, we'll probably just end up drinking all day. Joey Tribbiani : Ye-ye, we go to yours! Ross Geller : Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because it's my sister. But, uh, uh y'know actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that. Janine Lecroix : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : How you got three women to marry you, I'll never know. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! #ALL# : Hey!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Friends gather for Thanksgiving and decide to host it uptown, but quickly change their minds when they realize none of them can cook. They suggest going to Chandler's instead, where they'll likely spend the day drinking. Joey offers to host at his place instead, but Ross reveals he has to stop by his sister's due to a family tradition. Phoebe joins the conversation and the group discusses how Joey managed to marry three women."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachel's dessert is... so good that I eat all of it. There's none left for anybody else! Monica Geller : Nothing. Rachel Green : Nothing? Monica Geller : No, sweetie, I-I trust you. Rachel Green : So, if-if I mess this up, there's nothing else for dessert? Monica Geller : You're not gonna mess it up. Rachel Green : Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butter's done? Monica Geller : Well, it's done about two minutes before it looks like that. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Rachel plans to make a traditional English truffle for dessert, while Monica has nothing planned. Monica trusts Rachel to make a good dessert, but Rachel expresses doubt about her abilities. Joey enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ooh the food smells great, Mon! Ross Geller : And the place looks so nice! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, hey hey, Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Ross Geller : Happy Thanksgiving! The Girls : Happy Thanksgiving! Joey Tribbiani : Well, this has been great! Ross Geller : See ya! Monica Geller : Whoa whoa whoa! Where're you goin'? Ross Geller : Oh, oh, we did say we'd stop by this little thing Joey's roommate is having.", "summary": "Ross and Monica host Thanksgiving dinner at their apartment, while Joey and Chandler attend a potluck event at Joey's roommate's place."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl? Ross Geller : Some would say she's attractive, yes. Phoebe Buffay : And who else is going to be there? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, some of her friends, yeah. Rachel Green : Her dancer friends? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, all right? All of her hot dancer friends are gonna be there and they're gonna be, be drinkin' and dancin, and we really wanna go! Ross Geller : Dude, we were good! Monica Geller : You're not gonna go anywhere, you said you were gonna eat here, and you're gonna eat here! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and-and leaving us to go see hot dancer girls is not very Thanksgivingy. Ross Geller : Oh, but-but it is, uh, it's just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.", "summary": "The group decides to go see a hot dancer girl's friends at a bar instead of eating Thanksgiving dinner with Monica and Rachel. They are excited to see her \"hot dancer friends\" and drink and dance with them. However, Monica and Phoebe remind them that it is not very \"Thanksgivingy\" to leave them alone for the night. Ross tries to justify their decision by comparing it to the first Thanksgiving, when the Pilgrims and Indians sat down together for dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world! Judy Geller : Hello everybody! Jack Geller : Hi! #ALL# : Hi! Monica Geller : Dad , Mom . Look! Look who it is it's Chandler! Judy Geller : Oh yes of course, hello Chandler. Chandler Bing : Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats! Chandler Bing : Whoa, snowing out there? Jack Geller : No. Jack Geller : Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around the arrival of Chandler's parents at Monica and Rachel's apartment for Thanksgiving dinner. The group exchanges greetings and catches up on each other's lives, with Chandler offering to take their coats and complimenting Monica on the food. Jack mentions that it is snowing outside, and Monica suggests that she could consider cooking professionally."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : Ok, I have dandruff. There's no need to laugh and point. Monica Geller : Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke. Jack Geller : My joke wasn't funny. Phoebe Buffay : Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night. Rachel Green : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And it's making me look at him totally differently. Y'know, I mean he used to be just, y'know \"Jack Geller Monica and Ross's dad\" and now he's he's \"Jack Geller, dream hunk.\" Rachel Green : I dunno. Y'know to me he'll always be \"Jack Geller, walks in while you're changing.\" Monica Geller : Y'know dad, Chandler is one of Ross's very best friends! Chandler Bing : Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, y'know I've always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father. Jack Geller : I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel and Phoebe discuss a dream they had about Jack saving them from a burning building, causing Rachel to reevaluate her perception of him as just \"Ross's dad\" and see him as brave and strong. Chandler agrees with Ross that a father's influence on his son is significant, leading to a conversation about their fathers and what they do for a living."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : He's the headliner of a gay burlesque show. Joey Tribbiani : Rach, you're killin' us here, will ya serve the dessert already? Those drunken dancers are waiting! Rachel Green : Look at it, isn't it beautiful? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, what is it? Rachel Green : It's a truffle. It's got all of these layers. First there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! Ross Geller : W-What was the one right before bananas? Rachel Green : The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, y'know, I thought \"well, there's mincemeat pie,\" I mean that's an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, y'know. Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place? Joey Tribbiani : Y-sure! Rachel Green : And while I'm gone don't you boys sneak a taste. Joey Tribbiani : Okay.", "summary": "Rachel is making a dessert for a party and is excited to show it off. Ross and Joey are impatiently waiting for the dessert to be served, while Chandler makes a joke about being the headliner of a gay burlesque show. Rachel reveals that she made the dessert from scratch, including the custard and raspberries. Joey offers to lend Rachel some rum, and Ross jokes about sneaking a taste while she's away."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way! Joey Tribbiani : I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that? Ross Geller : Oh my God, the pages are stuck together! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! Ross Geller : Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperd's Pie! Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Now she's gonna start all over! We're never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world! Ross Geller : No, no, we will. We just won't tell her she messed up. Joey Tribbiani : Just let her serve the beef-custard thing? Ross Geller : Yeah, it'll be like a funny Thanksgiving story! Joey Tribbiani : Vomiting stories are funny...", "summary": "Ross and Joey find a fault in Monica's cooking when they discover she has accidentally made a beef-custard dish instead of a dessert. They try to hide their mistake from her, but ultimately decide to just let her serve it anyway, joking that it will be a funny Thanksgiving story."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees! Joey Tribbiani : Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear? Rachel Green : No! Joey Tribbiani : Still not hot enough! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldn't give to be that can of condensed milk. Monica Geller : Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is. Judy Geller : Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it. Chandler Bing : Oh, yes. Well it's very beautiful. It's cream-colored and tight I don't mean tight, I mean it's not too tight, not that I was looking at-", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses Joey's apartment temperature, with Rachel expressing discomfort and Joey joking about walking around in his underwear. Phoebe admires Joey's strong hands and Monica compliments Judy on her sweater. Chandler tries to deflect attention from his comment about the sweater being too tight."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : What's the matter with him? Judy Geller : I think he's stoned again. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Dude, I need to talk to you a sec. Ross Geller : Okay, I think I might know why my parents don't like you. Chandler Bing : You do? Why? Ross Geller : Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window. Chandler Bing : What?! Why did you do that? Ross Geller : I don't know, aheh, your's was the first name that-that popped into my head, I'm I'm sorry. I-I didn't think it would matter.", "summary": "Ross reveals to Chandler that he blamed him for getting high in his bedroom and jumping out the window in front of his parents when they walked in on him high in college."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : How could it not matter?! Ross Geller : How was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister? Chandler Bing : What about all that \"friends forever\" stuff? Ross Geller : I don't know, I-I was all high. Monica Geller : Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you were trying to get Ross stoned! Chandler Bing : Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me! Monica Geller : Ross, I can't believe you'd do that! Chandler Bing : The reason we haven't told them we're together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this? Ross Geller : Okay, okay, I'll tell 'em it wasn't Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was? Monica Geller : You! It's not like it's a big deal! You-you don't still do it or anything!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler were friends in college, despite Ross's parents finding out that Ross got high and blaming it on Chandler. Now, years later, Ross and Chandler are living together with Ross's sister Monica, but they haven't told their parents about their relationship due to their parents' disapproval of Chandler. When Monica discovers the truth, she encourages Ross to own up to his mistake and tell their parents that it wasn't Chandler who got high in college."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it? Monica Geller : Dad, please don't pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if you're gonna put your feet up, why don't you sit on the- Phoebe Buffay : Monica, leave him alone! Joey Tribbiani : Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janine's friends are dancers?! And that they're going to be drinking alot!? Rachel Green : No, I did, but tell me again, because it's so romantic. Joey Tribbiani : Well you're whippin' so slow! Can't you do it any faster? Rachel Green : Joey! Come on! I don't wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like \"Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?\" Rachel Green : So why don't you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright? Joey Tribbiani : Oh I am! Monica Geller : Ross, if you don't tell them, then I will!", "summary": "Ross gets tricked into doing something by someone, and Monica tries to cover for him. Phoebe intervenes, and Joey becomes frustrated with how slow Rachel is making the trifle."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, fine! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Can I talk to you for a second? Ross Geller : Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it can't? Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert. Ross Geller : What?! What is with everybody? It's Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day! Joey Tribbiani : Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, they're all gonna' make fun of her, do you want that? Ross Geller : Okay, okay, we'll just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, they're not objects. Joey Tribbiani : Just kiddin,' I'll talk to them, you distract Rach. Ross Geller : Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss telling Rachel that she messed up her dessert, but Ross wants to keep it a secret. Joey suggests talking to everyone together, but Ross disagrees. They decide to distract Rachel while Joey talks to her privately."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay... Rachel Green : What's up, Ross? Ross Geller : So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : And um...You look nice today. Rachel Green : Oh no. No Ross, don't do this. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I just- I don't think us getting back together is a good idea. Ross Geller : Eh? Rachel Green : I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Y'know? And it's probably really hard for you to be alone right now.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Thanksgiving and their complicated past relationship. Rachel reveals that she doesn't think they should get back together, citing the holidays and Ross's recent loneliness as reasons."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You're alone. Rachel Green : No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean you're alone, alone. And I just-it's just not the time for us. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Ah well, can't blame a guy for trying! Joey Tribbiani : Oh and Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach or uh, or saying \"mmm\" and uh, oh oh! And smiling , okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore. Joey Tribbiani : Rachel, there you are! Come on, let's serve that dessert already! Rachel Green : Joey, you're gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You don't get any dessert. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Rachel Green : No, I'm just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, it's trifle time! Phoebe Buffay : So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isn't it?", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Rachel to be with him again, but she declines and leaves. Joey tries to help Ross by pretending to like Rachel's decision, but Chandler interrupts and says he won't pay for Joey's acting classes anymore. Rachel serves dessert and jokes about not giving any to Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It sure is. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. So then did you make it with beef or Eggplant? Rachel Green : Beef. Phoebe Buffay : I can't have any. You know I don't eat meat. Ohhh no. Rachel Green : Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste. Monica Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers! Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Op! Wait, you dropped a pea. Rachel Green : Well?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss making a cake, with Rachel revealing she used beef in the recipe. Phoebe is vegetarian and declines the offer to taste it, while Monica is excited to try it despite finding out there is only whipped cream inside."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Mmmm! It's good! Rachel Green : Really? How good? Monica Geller : It's so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one who's eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross. #ALL# : Mmm. Chandler Bing : Yeah, this is so good, that I'm gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert. Judy Geller : I've gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monica's room. Jack Geller : I'll help you dial. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it. Rachel Green : Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it. Ross Geller : Wha? No no! Ah! All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang enjoys a delicious dessert together and discusses how good it tastes. Monica offers to share it with everyone, but Ross quickly devours the last of it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It tastes like feet! Joey Tribbiani : I like it. Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Joey Tribbiani : What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood. Rachel Green : ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street? Chandler Bing : Yes, but if it's any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, come here. Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this? Phoebe Buffay : I dunno, let's see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl. Rachel Green : Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!", "summary": "Ross tastes something and doesn't like it, Joey likes it, they argue. Bird grabs food and tries to fly away with it, then drops it on the street. Rachel tells Phoebe about her latest dream involving Jack, who left her for another woman after they were supposed to get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen. Jack Geller : Boy, I'm glad I wore the big belt today. Phoebe Buffay : Five minutes ago, a line like that would've floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman. Monica Geller : Ross? Let's go. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter. Monica Geller : Alright, you know what? That's it. You've had your chance. Ross Geller : Wha-what? Monica Geller : Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college! Jack Geller : What?! Ross Geller : You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?", "summary": "Jacques Cousteau betrays Phoebe Buffay, but then takes her diving and introduces her to his pet seahorse. Meanwhile, Monica Geller tells Ross that he needs to tell their parents about smoking pot in college, leading to a confrontation between Ross and his parents Jack and Judy Geller."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : Yes. Ross Geller : Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. I'm sorry. Judy Geller : It was you? Monica Geller : And Dad, y'know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys! Ross did! Ross Geller : Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing, Monica did! Monica Geller : Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year! Ross Geller : Monica and Chandler are living together! Monica Geller : Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!! Phoebe Buffay : I love Jacques Cousteau! Rachel Green : I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle!", "summary": "Ross lies about smoking pot, Chandler admits to doing it, and Monica reveals that Ross fired the mailman. Meanwhile, Ross denies breaking the porch swing, Monica moves in with Chandler, and Rachel reveals she married Ross in Vegas."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I wanna gooooooo! Judy Geller : That's alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me. Jack Geller : And we kinda figured about the porch swing. Judy Geller : Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again? Jack Geller : What happened son? Ross Geller : I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things! Judy Geller : Chandler! You've been Ross's best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. And now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being. Chandler Bing : Thank you! Jack Geller : No! Thank you! Monica, and Ross! I don't know what I'm gonna do about the two of you! Chandler Bing : I'll talk to them!", "summary": "Ross gets tricked into doing drugs and getting divorced again. Chandler sticks by Ross's side despite his issues. Monica hides her relationship with her boyfriend. Jack and Judy are confused about Ross's situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldn't feel bad! Monica Geller : Well actually, I-I didn't eat mine. It's still in the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : No it isn't, I ate that. Judy Geller : Well we left ours in Monica's bedroom. Joey Tribbiani : Nope, got it and I got yours too. Chandler Bing : Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights. Rachel Green : That's a good story, Grandpa. Ross Geller : Hey #ALL# : Hey Ross Geller : Wow, Monica's letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discover that Joey ate their shared dessert, while Judy and Chandler argue over lighting. Ross makes a comment about Monica letting others help decorate her Christmas tree."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. It's about being with the people that you love. Phoebe Buffay : That is nice and we're done. TADA! Chandler Bing : I dunno what it is, it just doesn't quite feel like Christmas to me. Monica Geller : Oh, here. Chandler Bing : See now it feels like Christmas! Ross Geller : ... and that's the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising life's triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago. Rachel Green : So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe what's up? Joey Tribbiani : I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Y'know, everywhere I look she's like...", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe argue about the importance of decorating a Christmas tree, while Chandler and Ross discuss the origins of the Christmas tree. Rachel joins in with a tangential story about Joey's apartment, and Janine's presence is mentioned."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I can see why that's hard to resist. Joey Tribbiani : I like her so much! Monica Geller : Aw, I'm sorry sweetie that she doesn't feel the same way. Joey Tribbiani : I know. And she's so sweet. I just wanna feed her grapes and brush her hair. Chandler Bing : You are aware that she's not a monkey, right? Ross Geller : I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now she's like OLD NEWS! Janine Lecroix : Hey guys! Ross Geller : Hi Janine! Janine Lecroix : I just got a call to be a dancer on a television special for New Year's Eve. It's called some sort of Dick'n Rock'n Dickie Eve. Monica Geller : Hold it! Are you talking about Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani likes a girl but she doesn't feel the same way. Chandler Bing makes a comment about the girl not being a monkey. Ross Geller is over Janine, an older woman he initially thought was hot. Monica Geller discovers the correct name of a television special featuring dancers on New Year's Eve."}
-{"dialogues": "Janine Lecroix : Yeah, that's what I said. Monica Geller : Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember! Chandler Bing : Ah, you're still just a little fat girl inside aren't you? Janine Lecroix : Well I'm gonna be on it this year. I'm gonna be one of the party people. Ross Geller : You're gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most! Janine Lecroix : Well they said I should bring someone. Do you wanna be my dance partner? Joey Tribbiani : Totally! I would love to spend New Year's with you. Janine Lecroix : Well actually they're taping tomorrow. I don't really understand why. Ross Geller : Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that. Janine Lecroix : Yeah well, do you guys wanna come too?", "summary": "Janine wants to be on the show and brings her friend Joey as her dance partner. Ross explains that the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is live but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Are you serious? Monica Geller : We are there! Chandler Bing : What, what are you laughing at? Rachel Green : Well, I used to date him, but you're still going out with her! Janine Lecroix : Thanks. Great so we can all go together! I gotta run. Catch you later! #ALL# : Bye! Ross Geller : Bye Janine! Joey Tribbiani : Did she just ask me out on a date? Chandler Bing : I don't think so. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!", "summary": "Ross, Monica, and Chandler are discussing a recent encounter with Janine, who invites Joey to a large party. Meanwhile, Rachel reveals her past relationship with Ross and Janine's sudden interest in Joey creates confusion and humor among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, I'm sorry, but I don't think that was a romantic thing. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. We're going to a New Year's Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Y'know? But if she says 'Dude, what the hell are you doing?' I can say 'It wasn't me, it was New Years!' Rachel Green : Well, that's a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick. Ross Geller : It was a dry day. Monica Geller : We are going to Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : OK, listen I've been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? It's a show, but we're just dancing, OK? It's no big deal. The important thing to remember – stay cool. Ross Geller : Got it!", "summary": "Ross tries to make amends for his past mistake of kissing Rachel in high school by suggesting a New Year's Eve party plan with Joey. However, things quickly go awry when Rachel realizes Ross's motives and Monica reveals they are going to Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve celebration instead. Chandler tries to act cool while Joey offers advice from his set experience."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my God it's just like I dreamed it! Director : OK, everyone gather up. Monica Geller : 'Scuse us Director : Here's what's gonna happen. The music's gonna start, you're gonna dance, we're gonna tape, you don't look at the camera. Any questions? Ross Geller : Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air? Director : Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out. Joey Tribbiani : Ross! So when is it gonna air? Rachel Green : Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet. Chandler Bing : I can save you time ladies, I'm right here. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.", "summary": "Ross dreams of a situation, and it comes true. The group dances on camera without looking at the camera. When will the footage air?"}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica. Chandler Bing : What? That's terrible! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, we do it every year! Chandler Bing : Oh well, that makes it not terrible. Phoebe Buffay : No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us that wily minx. Rachel Green : Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, them we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK? Chandler Bing : No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents! Phoebe Buffay : But we have to! Chandler Bing : No, you don't have to, and you can't because I live here too. Phoebe Buffay : Well then, you should look with us.", "summary": "Monica is hiding Christmas presents from her friends, but they are determined to find them. Chandler is opposed to searching for the presents, while Phoebe is in favor of it. The group decides to search Monica's apartment for an hour before moving on to Joey's place to continue the search."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why? Rachel Green : Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas? Chandler Bing : No, I have a great idea for a present for her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's it? A great idea! Rachel Green : Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why? Chandler Bing : If I help, we can find 'em faster! Rachel Green : That's right! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh ooh, we have a live one! Rachel Green : Oh, it's a Macy's bag! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, who's it for?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler get each other gifts for Christmas, while Rachel worries that Monica will outdo Chandler with her presents."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-oh. She may be onto us. Rachel Green : We are so gonna find them this year. Chandler Bing : Y'know when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you don't, you don't do that every year do you? Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You don't, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything? Phoebe Buffay : No, we never do that Chandler Bing : Because that's where Joey gave me some stuff to store that I've never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! Monica Geller : Okay, here comes another camera. Ross Geller : Right. No biggie. Stay loose.", "summary": "Rachel suspects her friends are hiding gifts under the couch, and Chandler fears he'll be found out. They plan to search the apartment, but Phoebe worries they're getting caught."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Why do they keep doing that? Monica Geller : If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. They've been taping those people up there all day. Ross Geller : Right. Ross Geller : Hey, what'd you guys do to get up on there? Girl : We learned how to dance. Monica Geller : Oh yeah? Well when you learned how to dance did you forget how to put on underpants? Ross Geller : Yeah! Janine Lecroix : Hey! You're a good dancer! Joey Tribbiani : Really? Janine Lecroix : Yeah, well you'd be better if you just loosened your hips a little.", "summary": "Monica and Ross are trying to get on camera for a TV show, but they keep getting interrupted by people dancing in front of the cameras. Janine joins them and compliments Joey's dancing, but Monica makes a joke about Janine's underwear."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? Janine Lecroix : Like this. Janine Lecroix : That's it, feel the rhythm. That's better. Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Director : Okay, you're dancing with that girl over there. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no we came together! Director : I don't see it. You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! Joey Tribbiani : No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot. Director : Really, y'think so? I don't.. Chandler Bing : I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani wants to dance with a girl, but the director disagrees and tells him to dance with someone else. Joey tries to convince the director, but ultimately gives up and dances with another person instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap! Chandler Bing : Those are my gifts, I got them for you. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great! Rachel Green : Well Chandler, what is this very weird, metal A Z thing? Chandler Bing : Those are book ends! That's a great gift! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz. Rachel Green : Ha! Chandler Bing : Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay? Rachel Green : Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!", "summary": "The gang finds a box of gifts hidden in the guest room closet. Phoebe deems them as \"crap,\" but Chandler reveals they are book ends he got for Rachel and Joey. Rachel asks about a strange metal A-Z thing, which Chandler explains are book ends. Phoebe mistakes it for a gift for her and apologizes. The group makes sure to put everything back in the closet and jokes about Chandler still storing Joey's belongings even after moving out."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. Here we go. Looking good Gellers! Ross Geller : We know! Monica Geller : Hey, see that snippy guy over there? He's the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him. Ross Geller : Okay. Director : Okay, everybody hold! Director : Next on the platforms are... ...you two! And... ...You two! Monica Geller : Excuse me, sir, would it help if I weren't wearing underpants? Ross Geller : Monica! Would it? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that you're dancing with. Tall Guy : She's nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!", "summary": "Ross, Monica, and Joey are on a dance competition show, where they must dance in front of a panel of judges. Ross and Monica are nervous, while Joey is confident. The judges select Ross and Monica to perform on the main stage, but Monica removes her underwear before going on stage. Meanwhile, Tall Guy talks about his wife and almost bringing her to the show."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown – I'm trying to win her over, so I was wondering if.. Tall Guy : No I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Oh come on man, you can dance with my partner, she's real, uh, mellow! Tall Guy : Look, are you dating this girl you came with? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was hoping after tonight that maybe I could you know... Tall Guy : No, no. She's fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, alright, hey y'know fair is fair, if you're right, you're right, what can I say, but hey oh no! Tall Guy : God! What are you, in second grade? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, now you're the one who wet his pants. Monica Geller : Man, this sucks! Y'know if Mom and Dad don't see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, who's gonna be the losers then?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani has a plan to kiss his date at the New Year's countdown, but Tall Guy intervenes and declares the girl fair game. Joey tries to convince him otherwise, but Tall Guy stands firm. Monica Geller joins the conversation, expressing disappointment that her parents won't see them on TV after they made them so jealous."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, I know what'll get us up on a platform! Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : The routine! Monica Geller : Ross, we haven't done the routine since middle school. Ross Geller : Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, he'll wanna build us our own platform! Monica Geller : Was it really that good? Ross Geller : We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, it's almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice? Monica Geller : Okay, let's do it. Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced! Monica Geller : 5 6 7 8! Ross Geller : So, do we really have to ask who's going up on the platform next?", "summary": "The main characters discuss doing their old dance routine again and potentially impressing a \"snippy guy\" with it, leading to them being built their own platform."}
-{"dialogues": "Director : Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that! Monica Geller : Yes! Director : Make sure you get this, they're gonna want it for the bloopers show. Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again it's gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybody's excitement. Tall Guy : Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner. Director : What's going on over here? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, take a look at the guy's pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but don't you think he went a little overboard? Director : What's the matter with you? Get out of here! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, take a hike wetpants! Ross Geller : Can you believe this? We're gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment! Monica Geller : I know! Hey, you haven't been practising the routine, have you?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang prepares for a countdown to new years segment on TV, but things get out of hand when Joey and Ross notice something strange with their co-star's pants. The director gets upset and kicks them off set, while Monica tries to get everyone ready for the next take."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No! Monica Geller : Me too! Ross Geller : Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, y'know? Monica Geller : Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we don't wanna look stupid! Director : Alright we're back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny. #ALL# : Three, Two, One! Director : Cut! Joey Tribbiani : No! Year! Happy No Year! Director : Okay, here's where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone that's a wrap!", "summary": "Ross and Monica are thinking about going into the robot at the end of the music. They don't want to look stupid. The director yells \"cut\" and the scene ends with Joey saying \"no way\" and Monica happy it's not their year."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Look who I found! Chandler Bing : Oh, hey guys! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden. Chandler Bing : Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter. Phoebe Buffay : Or we could just follow your clever jokes – any ideas? No! Didn't think so! Okay, c'mon guys, show us where the presents are! Chandler Bing : Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica that's as good as garbage? Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, how about my azzz? Rachel Green : Hey, this is hollow. Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : This bench, it's hollow! I can't believe I never knew that! Oh, the presents!!!", "summary": "Phoebe and Chandler find a bird with a good sense of direction to help them find hidden presents. However, Chandler is more interested in making jokes than actually finding the presents. Phoebe suggests giving Monica garbage as a gift, but Chandler instead jokingly offers his \"azz.\" Meanwhile, Rachel discovers that a bench they are sitting on is hollow."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, don't look directly at them! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Alright, no, we could look at them! Rachel Green : Oh, this one's for me! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this one's for Chandler. Here. Chandler Bing : Oh great! Phoebe Buffay : And the big one's for me! Rachel Green : Ooh, let's open them! Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Hee hee!", "summary": "Phoebe and Chandler try to look at a box of candies without directly eyeing them, while Rachel excitedly opens her own gift."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Wait, we can't do this. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Chandler Bing : I don't wanna know what Monica got me. Y'know? I mean, look, I'm sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about. Rachel Green : Whatever Linus, I'm opening mine. Chandler Bing : Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I don't know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monica's face when I give her my present, and I'm sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back? Phoebe Buffay : Will you get us better gifts? Chandler Bing : Fine! Monica Geller : Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier? Chandler Bing : That's what you got me? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes, I see what you mean. That look is priceless.", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe try to keep their gifts a surprise for each other, but Rachel opens hers anyway. Chandler wants to see the look on Monica's face when he gives her his gift, and Monica wants to see the look on his face when he gets his. They ultimately decide to put the gifts back and try to find better ones."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Year's gonna go off. I guess there's no reason for all that Y2K panic, y'know? Anyway, g'night! Janine Lecroix : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Janine Lecroix : 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yoii. What was that for? Janine Lecroix : Well, I don't know tonight when they yelled cut and we didn't get to kiss, I was really, really, disappointed, and I just, really wanted to kiss you Joey Tribbiani : Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment. Janine Lecroix : In the moment, yeah. Joey Tribbiani : But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again? Janine Lecroix : Sure, New Year's Eve is only two weeks away. Can you wait?", "summary": "Joey and Janine share a disappointing near-kiss on New Year's Eve due to an unexpected cut during a TV show taping, but they express their desire to kiss each other again soon."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No. Janine Lecroix : Me neither. Joey Tribbiani : 3, 2, Janine Lecroix : Joey, you don't have to count down every time we kiss. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready. Monica Geller : We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled 'CUT!' Rachel Green : Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade? Monica Geller : Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me! Rachel Green : 'Cos I was gonna say there's no way you could've done the end the way you guys did it back then! Monica Geller : What? We could do it!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Friends are getting ready to dance on a train platform as the new millennium begins, but the guy in charge yells \"cut!\" just as they're about to start. They reveal that they still do their eighth-grade dance routine, which they update slightly, and Rachel compliments Monica on her thinking in catching her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then. Monica Geller : I can do it, okay? Come on, let's go. Monica Geller : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Monica Geller : I can't do it! Chandler Bing : Now you do that, you're on TV. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine? Monica Geller : Honey, we have been through this before! Rachel Green : Yeah. Don't do this to yourself.", "summary": "Monica and Ross argue about her ability to count from 1 to 8, while Chandler makes a comment about being on TV. Joey expresses interest in Janine, but Monica and Rachel discourage him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : She's made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen. Joey Tribbiani : Well all right then, I guess I shouldn't get to excited about the fact that I just kissed her! Monica Geller : You serious?! Chandler Bing : That's great! Monica Geller : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, we'll see. Ross Geller : You kissed her. Joey Tribbiani : Oh we kissed it up real nice. Chandler Bing : So you kissed her, so what happened after that? Joey Tribbiani : I came over here to tell you guys.", "summary": "Kissing occurs between two characters, and the others are surprised or excited by this revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So she's just waiting over there for ya? Janine Lecroix : I gotta go. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Janine Lecroix : I'm gonna be really late for dance class! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Janine Lecroix : Okay, now I'm really late. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I'm all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? Janine Lecroix : Bye. Monica Geller : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Have you kissed her yet? It's awesome! I could do it forever! Y'know what? She-she kisses better than my mom cooks!", "summary": "Janine Lecroix is waiting for Chandler Bing but must leave to attend dance class. She becomes late and Joey Tribbiani offers to leave his lips with her. Monica Geller joins the conversation and asks if Janine has kissed Chandler yet, which Joey confirms is awesome."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I am so glad you said cooks. Rachel Green : I know. Chandler Bing : Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. Rachel Green : Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! You can throw the rest away. Chandler Bing : I'm not your garbage man. I'm your mailman. Rachel Green : Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. Monica Geller : You got it from Pottery Barn?! Rachel Green : Yeah! It's an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is? Chandler Bing : A pharmacist. Monica Geller : Rach, Phoebe hates Pottery Barn.", "summary": "Rachel moves and forgets to notify the post office, so Chandler becomes her mailman; Monica buys an apothecary table from Pottery Barn, which no one knows how to pronounce or define."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed! Chandler Bing : You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets! Joey Tribbiani : I was tired! Rachel Green : Phoebe hates Pottery Barn?! Monica Geller : Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it. Rachel Green : Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store. Monica Geller : It's gotta be one of a kind. Y'know like umm, y'know uh, what's that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I made that for her! Chandler Bing : You made pottery? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.", "summary": "Joey hates Pottery Barn after being kicked out for sitting on a bed. Chandler reveals that Joey took off his pants and climbed under the sheets. Rachel is shocked that Phoebe hates Pottery Barn, while Monica believes that her furniture should have a history or story behind it. Joey claims he made a fruit bowl for Rachel out of something he found in the garbage."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm telling-If you put that in her apartment you'll never hear the end of it. Rachel Green : Okay fine! I'll-I'll just tell her it's an antique apothecary table, she doesn't have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs. Chandler Bing : Ahh, just like the apothecary tables of yore... Chandler Bing : ...so then the farmer says, \"That's not a cow and you're not milking it.\" Monica Geller : I am so glad you guys got together, Chandler and I are always looking for a couple to go out with and now we have one! Chandler Bing : Look at us, we're a couple of couples! Janine Lecroix : I had so much fun tonight, and what a great restaurant. Monica Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : And Chandler I can't believe I let you pay for this one. Thanks man. Monica Geller : So do you guys gonna come over tomorrow? I'll make that pasta thing I was telling you about.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel find an antique table they want to buy, but Monica warns Rachel that if they put it in her apartment, she will never let them hear the end of it. Chandler tries to hide the fact where the table came from by telling Rachel it's an antique apothecary table, while Joey makes a cow joke and Janine thanks everyone for the fun night out at the restaurant. Monica invites everyone over for pasta the next day."}
-{"dialogues": "Janine Lecroix : Oh that would be great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, but hey look, at least let us bring the wine. Monica Geller : Joey, you don't have too! Joey Tribbiani : Nope-op! I insist! You get the wine right? Chandler Bing : Yeah all right. Okay, good night guys. Joey Tribbiani : See ya tomorrow! Monica Geller : Tomorrow! Janine Lecroix : Can't wait! Janine Lecroix : How are we gonna get out of that one? Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Janine and Joey plan to host a dinner party, with Joey insisting on bringing wine. Monica and Chandler express reservations about the situation, leading to a comedic exchange."}
-{"dialogues": "Janine Lecroix : I can't handle two nights in a row with them. Joey Tribbiani : What-what's wrong with Monica and Chandler? Janine Lecroix : I don't know, they're just a little blah! Joey Tribbiani : Blah?! Janine Lecroix : Well y'know, he's blah, she's just-she's very loud for such a small person. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, they're like my best friends. Are you saying we can't hang out with them? 'Cause that would kinda be a problem. Janine Lecroix : No! Of course we can still hang out with them. Just y'know, not two nights in a row. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : I guess. Janine Lecroix : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : If you want, I'll sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.", "summary": "Janine Lecroix doesn't want to spend two nights in a row with Monica and Chandler, finding them uninteresting and loud. Joey Tribbiani defends his friends, offering to sell his own possessions to buy Janine presents."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, what a great table! Where-where did you get it? Rachel Green : Guess! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, a flea market? Rachel Green : Ha! See, I knew, I knew you'd get it on the first guess. Isn't it cool! It's an apothecary table. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where they kept all the stuff to make their potions. Rachel Green : Ohh, yes. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know? Ooh, you can almost smell the opium. Rachel Green : Almost.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel find an old apothecary table at a flea market and have a conversation about it. Phoebe imagines the table as a place where potions were made, and Rachel agrees. They both enjoy the unique design of the table."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : How much was it? Rachel Green : It was only 500 bucks. Phoebe Buffay : 500 bucks at a flea market?! Rachel Green : Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, y'know like back then. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Rachel Green : Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was y'know, it was like a dollar. Phoebe Buffay : A dollar? Rachel Green : And fifty. So it was like one and fifty dollars. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing. Rachel Green : Yeah.", "summary": "Rachel purchases an item at a flea market for $500, which Phoebe finds surprisingly expensive. They have a conversation about how much it was originally worth when new, with Rachel misunderstanding Phoebe's question."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, what period is it from? Rachel Green : Uh, it's from yore. Like the days of yore. Y'know? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, yes I do. God, oh it's just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like y'know where it was from or... Rachel Green : Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains. Phoebe Buffay : White Plains. Oh, it sounds like such a magical place. Rachel Green : Hey! We're here! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Ohh! Oh my God! Ross Geller : You like it? Rachel Green : Oh no!", "summary": "In White Plains, a magical vintage dress is discovered. Phoebe and Rachel are thrilled to learn that it's from yore and have a great story behind it. They discuss its origins but can't quite gather any details. Suddenly, they arrive at their destination, exclaiming over their excitement."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's my new apothecary table! Rachel Green : Ross! Phoebe's gonna be here any second, she cannot see this! Ross Geller : Well why not?! She'll-she'll love it! It's the real thing! I got it at Pottery Barn. Rachel Green : I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table she's gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original. Ross Geller : Why did you do that? Rachel Green : Because she hates Pottery Barn. Ross Geller : She hates Pottery Barn?!! Rachel Green : I know! I know, she says it's all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. So come on, she's gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please? Ross Geller : What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from Phoebe-Ooh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! Rachel Green : Ooo! Oh, I forgot they made sheets!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss a new apothecary table Ross bought at Pottery Barn. Rachel admits she also bought the same table and lies to Phoebe about it being an original."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh, yeah! I still can't believe she hates Pottery Barn! Rachel Green : Ross, get over it! It's not like she hates you. Ross Geller : Yeah but Pottery Barn! Y'know what I think? It's just she-she's weird. Y'know it's because she's a twin. Twins are weird. Rachel Green : Ross, she's not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind. Ross Geller : Huh. Y'know what's not one of a kind? A twin! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Ooh, Phoebe's here! Okay, let's turn out all the lights and we'll just watch the movie! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Hey-Ooh, cool sheets!", "summary": "Ross hates that his ex-wife doesn't like Pottery Barn, Rachel tries to convince him to get over it, Ross thinks she's weird because she's a twin, and Phoebe joins in to make light of the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, you like it? You wanna know where I got it? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Rachel Green : He got it a flea market! Phoebe Buffay : You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little. Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Monica Geller : The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting. Chandler Bing : And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldn't afford it, because you paid dinner last night. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Thanks, but uh actually it's just gonna be me again tonight. Monica Geller : What happened to Janine?", "summary": "Ross purchased his sheets at a flea market, much to Phoebe's surprise. Monica prepares dinner for everyone, while Chandler brings wine and offers to buy flowers for her. However, he reveals that he cannot afford it because he paid for dinner last night. Joey says he will be joining them again that night, but there is no mention of Janine."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, she's uh-uh really sick. Chandler Bing : Oh that's too bad. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she's been in there all day , uh high fever, a nose problem... Phlegm! Phlegm! Phlegm-phlegm-phlegm! Janine Lecroix : Monica! Chandler! I'm really-really sorry about tonight. I don't know if Joey told you; I just couldn't get out of going to this play. I'm sorry. Have a great time. Joey Tribbiani : 'Kay! Janine Lecroix : Bye. Chandler Bing : That's funny, I saw no phlegm. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, she really is sick! Chandler Bing : Then why-why is she going to a play?! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, y'know, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.", "summary": "Joey's girlfriend is sick with a high fever and a nose problem, but she still plans to attend a play despite feeling unwell. Chandler finds this confusing and wonders why she would want to go out when she's not feeling well. Joey insists that starving a fever can help it go away, leading to further confusion from Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?! Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, she didn't want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. I'm so sorry. Chandler Bing : Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?! Joey Tribbiani : Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud. Monica Geller : What?!! What? Chandler Bing : So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?! Monica Geller : Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her! Chandler Bing : And I am not blah, I am a hoot! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I know! Come on, please-please you guys, don't-don't be mad. I'm sure she just, she just said that stuff because she was nervous and you guys are like my best friends! Y'know? And it was our first date! Plus, she's really sick! Chandler Bing : No, you sh-No you said you made that up!!", "summary": "Janine doesn't want to hang out with Monica and Chandler because they are too loud and she thinks they are unpleasant. Janine pretended to have a good time last night but was actually judging them behind their backs. Joey tries to defend his friends by saying they are nice and fun, but Chandler insists that Janine is the one who's unpleasant. The conversation ends with Monica and Chandler expressing their frustration and disappointment towards Janine."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know, but don't you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing? Chandler Bing : Eh, they're both good. I generally just go with, Monica's drunk again. Joey Tribbiani : Come on you guys, come on please-please just give her another chance, huh? She'll come around I promise. Monica Geller : Of course we will, come on we gotta make dinner. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : I do not like that woman! Joey Tribbiani : I can hear you! Monica Geller : I am loud! #ALL# : Aww! Rachel Green : That's funny.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are making dinner while Joey tries to convince them to give Monica another chance after she got drunk again."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new......old sheet? Phoebe Buffay : Oh sure! Noo! Rachel Green : Ohh!! Ross Geller : My apothecary table!!! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Rachel Green : Noooooo!! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, where did you get this?! Ross Geller : I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Oh my God, well if they've ripped off our table ours must be much more than one and fifty dollars!", "summary": "Ross purchases a new (old) sheet and Phoebe accidentally puts her feet on it. Ross asks her not to do that, and Phoebe becomes defensive and accuses Pottery Barn of copying their antique apothecary table design."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh yes. Phoebe Buffay : Well this doesn't even smell like opium. Ross Geller : Of course not, it smells like wine, which you spilled! And thanks for wrecking my sheet by the way. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Ross, calm down, I'll give you the 80 cents. Chandler Bing : Okay, one more time. Monica Geller : Chandler, would you like some more orange juice? Chandler Bing : Perfect decibel. Monica Geller : I know!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find a mysterious bottle of wine that smells like opium, but Phoebe reveals it's just wine that she spilled. Ross gets upset and takes the 80 cents from the bottle. Meanwhile, Chandler tries to make monica laugh again by doing impressions, and Joey enters the room."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So uh, what are you guys doing? Chandler Bing : Oh nothing, we're just talking. Y'know, blah-blah-blah. Joey Tribbiani : Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine. Monica Geller : Well, I'd like to but, I'm not sure we have time to go. Joey Tribbiani : Ha-ha, very funny-Look! I don't know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me! Monica Geller : We owe you?! Joey Tribbiani : That's right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars! Monica Geller : We didn't give you any money! Joey Tribbiani : You don't think I know that! Rachel Green : ...see I can't decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table.", "summary": "Joey invites Chandler and Monica to a movie with him and Janine, but they are hesitant to attend due to scheduling conflicts. Joey reveals that he helped them in the early stages of their relationship by sneaking them around, earning him only $200."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wow! I didn't know that there was a Pottery Barn up here. Rachel Green : I know, I know. I went a little crazy. Ross Geller : A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that. Ross Geller : Fascinating. Phoebe Buffay : Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too! Rachel Green : Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times. Phoebe Buffay : Ah!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discover a Pottery Barn store in their new location, and Rachel reveals that she has been shopping there extensively. Phoebe warns Ross to be careful with an ornamental bird cage, which turns out to be antique and has a great story behind it. The group continues to explore the store and find more historical items."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? Rachel Green : Well there's yore. And uh, y'know, yesteryear. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah no, I'm telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, y'know if you ever decide you need to redecorate-And I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help. Rachel Green : Oh honey he doesn't need my help. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, come on! I think he's ready to get rid of, what did you call it? The cheap knock-offs and dinosaur junk. Ross Geller : Really?! Hey, y'know what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, here's-here's 60 bucks, why don't you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff. Rachel Green : Y'know what? I don't, I don't think Phoebe really wants to come. Phoebe Buffay : No! I do want to! Rachel Green : Oh, she does want to. Ross Geller : She does want to.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss furniture from different time periods, with Phoebe chiming in. Ross offers to pay Rachel $60 to buy items for him at a Colonial flea market. Rachel hesitates, unsure if Phoebe wants to go with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : Pheebs, I don't know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time. Phoebe Buffay : Well at least I got these sheets for Ross. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Uck, look at this! Pottery Barn, yuck! Rachel Green : Yeah, y'know what? Don't look at it. Seriously, don't look at it. Phoebe Buffay : No! Look-look! There's the coffee table they stole from us! Rachel Green : Ugh, those bastards! Let's go. Phoebe Buffay : That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the...wait a sec! This is our exact living room! Rachel Green : No! No! No! No it's not! No it's not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we don't have the... We don't have the...that lamp! And-and that screen is y'know, on the other side.", "summary": "The friends visit a flea market and find their former living room setup for sale, leading to a heated argument about who stole what from whom."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God! Rachel Green : Okay! Okay-okay look-no I did, I just wanted this stuff and I know how you feel about Pottery Barn. Just... Come on don't be mad. Phoebe Buffay : No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And it's all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I don't have that lamp! Rachel Green : Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross. Phoebe Buffay : I can't! I can't! Unless... Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didn't buy that lamp? Rachel Green : What?! No! I'm not gonna move out! Phoebe Buffay : But are you saying that you would move out if I didn't buy that lamp? Rachel Green : Oh. Yes! I would so move out! Phoebe Buffay : Okay then I don't have a choice! I have to buy that lamp! Rachel Green : That's right!", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel are at Phoebe's apartment, where they find that Phoebe has bought a lot of furniture from Pottery Barn. Phoebe is upset because she feels that the furniture is too expensive and represents everything that is wrong with the world. Rachel tries to convince Phoebe to buy a lamp that they found at Ross, but Phoebe is hesitant until Rachel offers to move out if Phoebe doesn't buy the lamp. In the end, Phoebe decides to buy the lamp in order to keep Rachel from moving out."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : But at least the apothecary table is real. Joey Tribbiani : Well, this-this-this was great. Didn't everybody have a great time? Janine Lecroix : Well I did. I really did. And you guys, I've got to say, I'm sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something. Chandler Bing : That's totally understandable. Monica Geller : Don't worry about it. Janine Lecroix : So we can go out again? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : Absolutely! Janine Lecroix : Oh good. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well then, good night!", "summary": "The friends gather at Central Perk and discuss their recent outing to an apothecary table. They mention that at least one person had a good time and apologize for any awkwardness experienced during their last outing together. They agree to go out again soon."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Good night! Joey Tribbiani : See? Eh, wasn't that fun? Janine Lecroix : We have got to move! Monica Geller : I knew it!! Y'know, you're not so quiet yourself, missy! Chandler Bing : And I'm blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, \"Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment.\" Janine Lecroix : Y'know, I know you're talking, but all I hear is, \"Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah.\" Monica Geller : All right! You and me! Let's go! Right now! Joey Tribbiani : All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! Chandler Bing : Y'know I think you can take her. Monica Geller : You'd better hope I don't see you in the hallway!!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel attend a modern dance performance that they both dislike. Janine talks excessively throughout the show, causing frustration for Chandler and Joey. Monica becomes angry at Janine and threatens to leave with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right, uh, we've got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you can't treat them that way. Janine Lecroix : They said stuff to me too, y'know! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I know! And I'm going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They... They're like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I... I don't think we can be together. It just, it just can't work. It can't. I'm very upset. Janine Lecroix : Okay. Okay. Would, would it help if I went over and apologized? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! That would be very helpful! Yeah. Monica Geller : What did I tell you about the hall?! Janine Lecroix : I was just coming over here to apologize for my behavior! I'd really like it if we could be friends. Monica Geller : Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too. Janine Lecroix : Great. Monica Geller : Now come on. Well, I'm glad we worked things out.", "summary": "Joey has a problem with his friends treating each other poorly and decides to talk to them about it. Janine offers to apologize for her behavior, which helps improve the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Janine Lecroix : Me too. Monica Geller : Okay. Janine Lecroix : I'll see you. Monica Geller : Bye. Janine Lecroix : Or I'll hear you. Monica Geller : That's it big girl! Come on! Janine Lecroix : Wait! Monica Geller : You'd better run! Chandler Bing : Did you hear that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah uh, what am I gonna do?", "summary": "Janine and Monica have a conversation about something, then Janine leaves. Monica says \"That's it big girl! Come on!\" to someone offstage, possibly implying that they should run. Chandler and Joey overhear this and are concerned for the person's safety."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm sorry man. You wanna go watch? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : How ya doin'? Chandler Bing : Hey so, did uh, did she move out? Joey Tribbiani : Pretty much, yeah. Monica Geller : I cannot believe you broke up with her just like that. Joey Tribbiani : Well, when it's not right, you know it. Chandler Bing : You okay? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah. I'll be all right.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey watch a movie together after Chandler apologizes for breaking up with his girlfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Y'know what would cheer you up? Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : I'm giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night, I think you should come. Joey Tribbiani : You're right! That did cheer me up! Ross Geller : Hey, you're not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it! Phoebe Buffay : I didn't know Playboy prints jokes. Ross Geller : Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures. Monica Geller : That didn't work on mom, it's not going to work on us. Ross Geller : Here, check it out. It's the first one, too. Chandler Bing : That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.", "summary": "Ross gives a lecture on erosion theories and invites Joey to attend, which cheers him up. Ross then shares that he sent a joke to Playboy and it got printed. Phoebe finds this surprising, as she didn't know Playboy published jokes. Monica is unimpressed, and Chandler agrees that the joke was funny when he made it up too."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : I made that joke up. Ross Geller : Uh, oh-oh, no you didn't. I did. Chandler Bing : Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard. Ross Geller : Hey, tell Dan, 'Thanks.' Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. Chandler Bing : Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Seriously?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over who made a joke. Rachel finds the joke funny, while Monica doesn't recall Chandler telling her the joke before."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, you tell a lot of jokes! Ross Geller : Look, Chandler, it's my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they don't print the name, so it doesn't really matter who gets credit, right? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I guess. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke. Ross Geller : No, it's my joke, it's mine. You can call them, they'll tell you. Chandler Bing : It's my joke. Ross Geller : It's my joke. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right? Chandler Bing : Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.", "summary": "Ross claims that a joke he told is his, but Chandler insists it's his. Joey brings up Playboy printing one of Chandler's jokes, leading to a debate over who should get credit for the joke. The conversation takes a strange turn when Joey mentions there are naked women in Playboy and Chandler suggests they watch a behind-the-scenes music documentary about the band Heart struggling with personal issues."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Let's go watch it at your place. Chandler Bing : Nah, Monica's watching some cooking show. Come on, I don't want to miss when they were skinny. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, Chandler, y'know what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses. Chandler Bing : What? No, I want to watch this. . Did your cable go out? Joey Tribbiani : No, that's VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . It's like a lotta noise to me. I don't know... Chandler Bing : Joey, why is your cable out? Joey Tribbiani : I uh, oh! Because, uh, I haven't really paid the bill Chandler Bing : If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money? Joey Tribbiani : No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot. Chandler Bing : Whoa ho.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler are watching TV when Joey suggests going to get new sunglasses. Chandler declines, preferring to watch a cooking show with Monica. Joey's cable goes out, and he struggles to pay his bill. Chandler offers to lend him money, but Joey declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book . Chandler Bing : All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place? Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Chandler Bing : Paid your phone bill? Joey Tribbiani : Not so much. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : It's only you. Phoebe Buffay : Wh-wh-what are you doing? Rachel Green : We are looking at a Playboy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I want to look too! . Yikes!", "summary": "Joey and Chandler plan to watch a show together, but Joey hasn't paid his phone bill. Meanwhile, Phoebe enters the room and sees Rachel looking at a Playboy."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So do you think that these pictures-Are, are they trying to tell a story? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, she's crying out, 'Where are they, where are they?' Monica Geller : Well, she's not going to find them lying in the grass like that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : You see, now, I would date this girl. She's cute, she's outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, that's got to come in handy Monica Geller : Okay, I've got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be? Rachel Green : I don't know. Monica Geller : Me neither. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel.", "summary": "A young woman loses her clothes and rides a horse naked, crying out for her missing garments. The group discusses dating prospects, with Rachel expressing interest in a girl who is outdoorsy and knows how to build a fire. Monica and Phoebe have no preference among the group members when it comes to dating."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Me neither. Joey Tribbiani : You forget how many great songs Heart had. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard. Chandler Bing : So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but I'm not even sure I got it. Ross Geller : What, you didn't get it? The doctor is a monkey. Chandler Bing : And monkeys can't write out prescriptions. Chandler Bing : You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nThe friends discuss music and humor, with Monica bringing up Heart's songs and Joey joking about writing a song called \"Barracuda.\" Chandler makes a joke about the doctor being a monkey, leading to confusion and laughter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Your joke? Well, I think 'the Hef' would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars. Chandler Bing : So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money. Ross Geller : Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think I'll show the sexy teller that I am a published writer. Chandler Bing : Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke. Ross Geller : Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Ross Geller : Well, I'm not going to go now anyway . Chandler Bing : Okay . Gunther : Here you go. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, Gunther, I can't pay for this right now because I'm not working, so I've had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin' for stuff.", "summary": "Ross stole Chandler's joke and got paid for it by \"Hef,\" but now he wants to use the money to impress a bank teller. Chandler follows him to the bank, where they argue over the joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : Well, if you want, you can work here. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I don't know. Ya see, it's just, see I was a regular on a soap opera y'know? And to go from that to this, I just... Plus, I'd have to wait on all my friends. Gunther : Okay, but the money's good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Gunther : Flexible hours. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone? Monica Geller : She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel. Chandler Bing : He took my joke, he took it. Monica Geller : It's wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel. Chandler Bing : You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? I'm going to get a joke journal. Y'know? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.", "summary": "Joey is hesitant to work at Central Perk due to his previous experience on a soap opera and having to wait on his friends. Gunther offers flexible hours and the opportunity to stare at Rachel, which Joey rejects. Monica reveals that Rachel was chosen for a job at Central Perk, much to Chandler's dismay."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's a good idea. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Monica Geller : Do you know what's a bad idea? Chandler Bing : Picking Rachel. Monica Geller : That's right. Did you hear something? Chandler Bing : Maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts. Monica Geller : It's coming from the living room. Joey Tribbiani : I finished my book. Monica Geller : Hey, you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Hey.", "summary": "Monica suggests a good idea, Chandler agrees and then reveals he has a bad idea (picking Rachel). Monica confirms this and hears a noise, which Joey attributes to Ross entering his brain."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, don't you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple. Rachel Green : Monica, what are you doing? Monica Geller : Nothing, I'm just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny. Phoebe Buffay : I guess it was kinda funny. Monica Geller : It wasn't funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didn't you pick me? Phoebe Buffay : Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that you're ... just ... kinda high maintenance-Okay let's go to lunch! Monica Geller : That is completely untrue. You think I'm high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and we're going to go through it point by point! Phoebe Buffay : No, okay, you're right. You're easy-going. You're just not as easy-going as Rachel. She's just more flexible and-and mellow. That's all. Rachel Green : Well, people are different. Phoebe Buffay : Ya, you know, Rachel ... she'll do whatever you want. Y'know, you can just walk all over her.", "summary": "Monica Geller tries to recreate a fun time at her place with Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay. The conversation turns sour when Monica brings up a past incident where Rachel chose Rachel over Monica. Phoebe defends Rachel, saying she's more flexible and easy-going than Monica. Monica becomes upset and demands proof, leading to an argument."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that I'm a pushover? I'm not a pushover. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, you're not a pushover. Rachel Green : Oh my ... you think I'm a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? You're not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think that's pretty strong, that's what I think. Come on, Monica, let's go to lunch. Monica Geller : You start working on that list. Rachel Green : I cannot believe her. Monica Geller : I know. Where do you wanna go eat? Rachel Green : Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place. Monica Geller : I'm sick of Japanese. We're not going there. Rachel Green : All right, wherever you wanna go is cool. Monica Geller : All right.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe argue over lunch invitations; Monica joins in and they discuss various restaurants for their outing."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out. Gunther : Yeah, that-that Chandler cracks me up. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, 'cause I'm heading up there. Ross Geller : Uh, yeah, I'll take a coffee. Thanks, man. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Coffee? 'Cause I'm going up there. Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : No, thank you. Joey Tribbiani : You guys need anything, 'cause I'm heading up there. Woman : I'd love an ice water. Joey Tribbiani : You got it.", "summary": "Ross orders a coffee, while Joey offers to get drinks for everyone else. Rachel and Monica decline, but a woman in the background requests an ice water."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey, what are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Just being friendly. Rachel Green : Joey, honey, I don't think you're supposed to go back there. Joey Tribbiani : Nah, it's okay. Right, Gunther? Gunther : Don't wink at me. And put on your apron. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, but I don't see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons. Monica Geller : Joey, do you work here? Joey Tribbiani : No. Customer : Hey, waiter. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah?", "summary": "Joey tries to sneak backstage at Central Perk while working as a server. Monica questions Joey's employment status and Gunther tells him to put on his apron."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey, what's going on. What didn't you tell us you work here? Joey Tribbiani : It's kind of embarrassing, y'know. I mean, I was an actor and now I'm a waiter. It's supposed to go in the other direction. Chandler Bing : So is your apron. You're wearing it like a cape. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, the job's easy and the money's good, you know? I guess I'm going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys. Rachel Green : Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine. Ross Geller : Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey, can I get some coffee? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I guess it doesn't seem that weird. Ross Geller : Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still haven't gotten it. Joey Tribbiani : See, now it's weird again. Chandler Bing : I Think It's Great That You Work Here. You'Re Going To Make A Lot Of Money, And Here's Your First Tip. Don't eat yellow snow. . Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani works as a waiter at Central Perk despite being an actor and feeling embarrassed about it. He initially hesitates to serve his friends, but they reassure him that it's not weird and even give him tips."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. A smile goes a long way. And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Y'know? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. It's all about turnover. Ross Geller : Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry, Ross. I'll get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, I'll toss in a free muffin. Rachel Green : Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are? Rachel Green : Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky. Monica Geller : Hah! Phoebe Buffay : That true, I am flaky.", "summary": "The group discusses customer service at the coffeehouse, with Rachel sharing her wisdom and Joey offering his own tips. Ross becomes impatient for his coffee, and Joey offers him a free muffin as an apology. Meanwhile, Monica and Rachel criticize Phoebe for being flaky."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So, what, you're just, you're just okay with being flaky? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, totally. Monica Geller : Well, then, I'm okay with being high maintenance. Rachel Green : Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover. Phoebe Buffay : That's great. Good for you guys. Monica Geller : I am not high maintenance! Rachel Green : I am not a pushover! Phoebe Buffay : Who said you were? Monica Geller : You did! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm flaky. I'll say anything.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller argue over who is more high maintenance, while Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay agree to embrace their respective flakiness and pushover tendencies."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition. Gunther : No, I'm leaving to get my hair dyed. Joey Tribbiani : Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, it's a great part. Look, check it out. I'm the lead guy's best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. 'I'm sorry, that seat's saved.' Gunther : That's the whole part? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, maybe he's not his best friend, but ... Gunther : Okay, I'll see you in an hour. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man, I could totally get that part. 'I'm sorry, that seat is taken.' Patron : Oh, excuse me. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, I didn't mean you. But, you believed me, huh? Patron : I believed you were saving this seat for someone.", "summary": "Joey tries to get Gunther to cover his shift at the coffee shop so he can attend an audition, but Gunther is leaving to get his hair dyed. Joey shows Gunther the script and tells him about his role as the lead guy's best friend, waiting for him in a bar and saving his seat. Gunther agrees to cover for Joey but only for an hour. Meanwhile, a patron mistakes Joey for the lead guy's best friend and believes he is saving a seat for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So, you'd hire me, right? Patron : For what? Joey Tribbiani : Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour. Customers : Huh? What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. It's a very important issue in this month's Playboy. I'm sure you all read about it. Ross Geller : It's my joke. Chandler Bing : It's my joke. Chandler Bing : It's my joke. Ross Geller : Y'know, I don't think we're going to settle this. Chandler Bing : Let's have Monica decide.", "summary": "The coffee shop is closing for an hour due to a campaign against drugs in that month's Playboy. Ross and Chandler argue over who came up with the joke about it. Monica is asked to settle the dispute."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey Mon. Chandler Bing : Mon, get out here! Ross Geller : Monica! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is. Monica Geller : Why do I have to decide? Chandler Bing : Because you're the only one that can be fair. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : I can't be fair. You're my boyfriend.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are arguing over whose joke it is. Monica intervenes and says she can't be fair because Ross is her boyfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, but I'm your brother. We're family. That's the most important thing in the world. Chandler Bing : Don't try to sway her. I'm your only chance to have a baby. Okay, let's go. Ross Geller : We'll each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truth-me. Monica Geller : Okay, Chandler, you go first. Chandler Bing : Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve. Monica Geller : Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas? Chandler Bing : Can I finish my story?! Monica Geller : Do you want me to pick you?! Ross Geller : See, I would never snap at you like that. Monica Geller : Continue.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over who came up with a joke first, while Monica tries to mediate."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steve's doctor's name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, 'Doctor Monkey?' And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, I'm a doctor, and I had a monkey. I'm Doctor Monkey! Chandler Bing : I'm not arguing with that. Monica Geller : All right, I've heard enough. I've made my decision. Monica Geller : You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and it's offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldn't be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks! Ross Geller : It's your joke. Chandler Bing : Is not. Monica Geller : Hi, Chandler. There you are. Chandler Bing : Hi, oh hi. Monica Geller : Hey, it's Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why don't you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?", "summary": "Doctor Muppy and Doctor Monkey get into a debate over who should receive credit for a terrible joke they both created. Monica Geller joins in, calling them all idiots and criticizing the offensive nature of the joke. The argument escalates until Monica cuts it short by pointing out that the joke is actually Phoebe's fault."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and--generosity of spirit. Rachel Green : Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think I've ever heard. Phoebe Buffay : Really? I've heard better. Monica Geller : Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I'm out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again? Monica Geller : Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler! Chandler Bing : You're a little high maintenance. Monica Geller : Ahhh! You are on my list. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. You're not easy-going, but you're passionate, and that's good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that I'm pretty good about making you feel better about that. And that's good too. So, they can say that you're high maintenance, but it's okay, because I like ... maintaining you. Monica Geller : I didn't even tell him to say that. . All right you're off my list.", "summary": "Monica is self-sufficient and together, while Chandler finds her high maintenance despite his affection for her. Rachel and Phoebe comment on the fake speech given by Chandler, which Monica denies having told him to give. Monica insists she's not high maintenance but passionate, and Chandler defends her, saying he enjoys maintaining her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'm off the list. Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's okay that you don't want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, suddenly I find you very attractive. Chandler Bing : Hey, buddy boy, how'd the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Not good, no. I didn't get the part, and I lost my job here, so ... Phoebe Buffay : Wow! That is a bad audition. Rachel Green : How-how did you lose your job here? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me. Rachel Green : He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when you've been working here two days? That's not, that's not right. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what are ya gonna do?", "summary": "Monica is happy that Phoebe doesn't want to be her girlfriend because she has a better boyfriend. Phoebe suddenly finds Chandler attractive. Chandler asks Joey how his audition went, but Joey didn't get the part and lost his job due to Gunther's unexpected absence for personal reasons."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey, you can't let him get away with that. Ya know what, I'm not going to let him get away with that. I'm going to say something to him-No, I really shouldn't say anything-No, I should say something to him. Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him... Gunther : Okay. Rachel Green : What? Gunther : He can have his job back. Rachel Green : That's right, he can have his job back. I'm glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back. Joey Tribbiani : That's great. Thanks Rach. Rachel Green : Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now who's a pushover? Phoebe Buffay : Rach, you're in my seat. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.", "summary": "Joey loses his job and Rachel tries to stand up for him but then changes her mind. Gunther offers Joey his job back and Rachel is glad they resolved the issue."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I pick you, Phoebe. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, I kinda thought. Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick? Ross Geller : No way. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not answering that. Chandler Bing : Joey! No way. I'm not answering that. Joey Tribbiani : Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together that's $12.75. Chandler Bing : This coming from the man who couldn't split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.", "summary": "Rachel asks her friends who they would choose to go out with if they could only pick one of the other two guys (Phoebe or Joey). The group discusses and eventually decides not to answer the question. Meanwhile, Chandler orders coffee and a scone for $4.25, while Ross orders a double latte for $2.75."}
-{"dialogues": "Woman : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Woman : How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte? Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani. Woman : Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he's not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with him-He says it's okay. Great! Thanks! Bye-bye! Ross Geller : Hey Joey, how come our stuff isn't free? Joey Tribbiani : It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt! This is great! I'm getting more dates than ever! Rachel Green : Wait a minute, you're only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah Joey that is so gross!", "summary": "Woman asks Joey how much she owes for a muffin and latte. Joey replies it's on the house as a courtesy. The woman thanks him and suggests they go on a date. Joey agrees but seems hesitant. Ross questions Joey about why their stuff isn't free. Joey makes a comment about only giving free stuff to pretty girls, which Rachel and Phoebe find gross."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : How about a scone on the house baby? Phoebe Buffay : I'm pretty. Ross Geller : Hey does anyone have any gum? Phoebe Buffay : Oh I do! Oh, y'know what? No. Wait a second. I know it's in here somewhere. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I'm good! I'm good! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work? Monica Geller : Ugh, they sent me home. They said I can't work if I'm sick. #ALL# : Ohh!", "summary": "Ross tries to get gum from Phoebe and Monica, but Phoebe can't find it and Monica is sent home from work due to illness."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry you're sick. Monica Geller : I'm not sick!! I don't get sick! Getting sick is for weaklings and for pansies! Rachel Green : Honey, no one thinks you're a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. Monica Geller : I have not been sick in over three years! Chandler Bing : I'm gonna grab you some tissue. Monica Geller : I don't need a tissue! I'm fine-d! Ross Geller : When you put a 'D' at the end of 'Fine' you're not fine. Monica Geller : I'm fine-d. I'm fine-d! Y'know, it's a really hard word to say. Chandler Bing : Yes? Woman : Hi, is Rachel here? I'm her sister.", "summary": "Monica Geller claims she hasn't been sick in three years, despite Chandler Bing and Ross Geller's insistence that she needs a tissue. When Rachel Green enters the conversation, Monica becomes defensive and declares that she is \"fine-d.\" The group continues to banter back and forth until a woman arrives looking for Rachel's sister."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God, Jill! Jill Green : Oh my God, Rachel! Chandler Bing : Oh my God, introduce us! Rachel Green : This is Chandler. Jill Green : Hi! Rachel Green : And you know Monica and Ross! Ross Geller : Hi Jill. Rachel Green : And that's Phoebe , and that's Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how you doin'? Rachel Green : Don't!! Honey, what are you doing here?!", "summary": "Rachel introduces Chandler to Jill, who is surprised to see Monica and Ross. Joey makes a silly comment, and Rachel reacts in shock."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or that's bitter? Jill Green : Daddy cut me off. Phoebe Buffay : Never mind, I got it. Jill Green : And y'know what I said to him? \"I'm gonna hire a lawyer and I'm gonna sue you and take all your money. Then I'm gonna cut you off!\" Rachel Green : Wow! What did he say? Jill Green : That he wouldn't pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter he's actually proud off. Rachel Green : Oh! Did you hear that?! My dad's proud of me! My dad's proud of me. Monica Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, sorry. Wait honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off? Jill Green : Okay, I bought a boat.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Jill Green, who has been cut off by her father. She is bitter and plans to sue him for money. Rachel Green expresses surprise that her own father is proud of her, while Monica Geller asks about Jill's reason for being cut off, which was buying a boat."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You bought a boat? Jill Green : Yeah but it wasn't for me, it was for a friend. Chandler Bing : Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! Rachel Green : Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that could've ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! I'm the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna get a job, you're gonna get an apartment, and then I'll help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us? Phoebe Buffay : Of course, yeah! Jill Green : Oh, that's so great! Okay, I'm really gonna do this! I don't know how to thank you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I like cards. Joey Tribbiani : Are you all finished here? Customer : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Great!", "summary": "Jill bought a boat for her friend but it was not meant to be for her. Monica and Chandler are surprised and Rachel is happy for Jill's new beginning. Phoebe agrees to let Jill stay with them and they all celebrate with cards. Joey interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Gunther : For all the free food you gave away. Joey Tribbiani : Well if it's free food, how come you're charging me for it? Gunther : We don't give anything away unless it's someone's birthday. Joey Tribbiani : Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest? Gunther : No! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Jill Green : I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. Ross Geller : Jill, how did you pay for all this? I thought your dad took away your credit card.", "summary": "Jen owes Gunther $50 from free food given out at work. Joey was charged $8 for food he gave away. Jill had a hard day and complained about heavy bags; Ross inquired about her payment methods after learning her father took away her credit card."}
-{"dialogues": "Jill Green : Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! This is my \"Please, hire me\" sweater. And these are my, \"Don't you want to rent me this apartment?\" pants. Ross Geller : I don't think charging new clothes too your dad qualifies as making it on your own. Jill Green : Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical! Phoebe Buffay : Seriously, I don't Rachel's gonna think it's a good idea. Jill Green : So who made her queen of the world? Phoebe Buffay : I would love that job! Rachel Green : Hey! What's goin' on? Jill Green : Hey! Rachel Green : Jill! Did you shop?! Jill Green : No! They did!", "summary": "Ross challenges Jill for making new clothes by using her father's credit card without permission. Jill responds by showing off her creations, but Rachel questions the legitimacy of her actions. Meanwhile, Phoebe expresses interest in being crowned queen of the world."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we went shopping! Rachel Green : You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jill's nose when you know she's trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry Jill. Ross Geller : Sorry-sorry Jill. Rachel Green : What'd you get? Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, all right, I got thank you, I got uh, this y'know \"I want a job sweater.\" Rachel Green : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : And, and then I got uh, these are apartment pants. Rachel Green : Apartment pants? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you never heard of them?", "summary": "Phoebe went shopping without telling Rachel, who is trying to quit buying things. Phoebe got a sweater that says \"I want a job\" and pants called \"apartment pants.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, of course, of course I've heard of them! Ross, what did you get? Ross Geller : Huh? Oh, I got this--this! Rachel Green : A pajmena? Ross Geller : Yeah! Oh, I-I love this babies! Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Ross, wants a pajmena? Ross Geller : It's a rug. Rachel Green : Jill? Jill Green : I'm sorry Rachel, I'm sorry... Rachel Green : Oh, come on! You think that's gonna work on me?! I invented that!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss a rug, with Ross expressing interest in purchasing one."}
-{"dialogues": "Jill Green : Right! But, I am sorry. Rachel Green : All right, it's okay. One little setback is okay, just don't let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But I'm just gonna take the-the pajmena. And the uh, and the uh pants. Y'know what, I'm just gonna take it all away, 'cause that way you'll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, I'm gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. Jill Green : She took all my stuff. Ross Geller : Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. Jill Green : That's the best one! Oh my God, thank you so much! Ross Geller : Well. Hey... Jill Green : Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug! Ross Geller : Oh yeah, how about you and the, \"I'm sorry!\" Jill Green : Shut up! I did not sound like that at all! Phoebe Buffay : What about, what about when I said y'know about the apartment pants, how dumb was I?", "summary": "Rachel takes Jill's stuff without permission and Jill gets mad. Ross tries to make light of the situation but Jill is not amused. Phoebe joins in with her own dumb comments about the apartment pants."}
-{"dialogues": "Jill Green : Were you this cute in high school? Ross Geller : Oh stop. Jill Green : No you stop! Ross Geller : No, you stop! Jill Green : You stop! Phoebe Buffay : Okay-okay, why don't I sit here and you'll both stop it! Monica Geller : Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Let's do something crazy! Chandler Bing : I know, let's rest and drink lots of fluids. Monica Geller : Okay, I'll rest. But y'know if I'm going to bed, then you're coming with me. Chandler Bing : That would be impossible to resist if you weren't all drippy here.", "summary": "Jill and Ross argue over their cuteness in high school, while Phoebe tries to mediate. Monica suggests doing something crazy, but Chandler recommends resting and drinking fluids."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Are you saying that you don't wanna get with this? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I don't you should say that even when you're healthy. Monica Geller : Come on. Chandler Bing : Don't take this personally okay? It's just that I just can't have sex with a sick person. Monica Geller : I'm with you Chandler! I mean I can't have sex with a sick person either, that's disgusting! But I'm not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe. Chandler Bing : That's the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe. Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Rachel Green : What's up?! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I think there's something you should maybe know.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a conversation about not wanting to have sex with someone who is sick. Monica disagrees and tries to prove that they are both healthy. Rachel and Phoebe enter the conversation and reveal something important."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, it'd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it. Phoebe Buffay : No. No. It's just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, I'm pretty sure I saw a little spark between them. Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I mean it's probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there. Rachel Green : With Ross and Jill? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : With Ross and my sister? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross and Jill may have a secret romantic connection after Phoebe saw a spark between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh there is no way. Phoebe Buffay : Okay then. Rachel Green : Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I don't really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isn't that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and they're gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I can't stop it! I can't-I don't own Ross! Y'know? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I can't believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. Phoebe Buffay : But great news about the apartment pants, huh? Joey Tribbiani : That'll be $3.85. Woman : What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff! Joey Tribbiani : It's just I can't because my manager said I... \"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie... Woman : Amy! Joey Tribbiani : \"...Amy! Happy birthday to you!\" A Male Customer : Hey, that's weird, today's my birthday too!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are shocked when they find out he's going to marry his younger sister Jill. Rachel feels like she can't stop it and thinks it's incestuous. Phoebe brings up good news about the apartment pants. Joey has to charge $3.85 for something despite earlier saying the woman was too pretty to pay for things. Happy birthday wishes are exchanged among customers in the coffee shop."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, not it here it isn't. Jill Green : Sorry I'm late, what's up? Rachel Green : Oh hi! Y'know, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front. Jill Green : Oh no! But I just walked past three sales and I didn't go in. How strong am I? Rachel Green : That is great. Hey, y'know who doesn't have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university. Jill Green : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh so you know that, you guys talked about that, so you get along, so you think you're gonna go out? Jill Green : Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that? Rachel Green : I just, Phoebe, said y'know thought she saw something between you guys. Jill Green : No! I mean he's nice.", "summary": "Ross works at the university and doesn't have to job hunt, while Rachel is looking for a new job. Jill is late and apologizes, then reveals she passed three potential job leads without going in. Rachel expresses surprise that Jill would consider going out with Ross, despite Phoebe's suggestion that there may be something between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Jill Green : He's the kind of guy you're friends with, y'know? But he's not the kind of guy you date. He's the kind of guy you'd date because you did. Me, not so much. Rachel Green : Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross? Jill Green : Oh no-no-no, he's just I don't know, he's just a little bookish. Rachel Green : Are-are you saying he's a geek? Jill Green : You think so too? Rachel Green : No! No I, no Ross is not a geek! Jill Green : Fine, then let's just say he's not my type. Rachel Green : What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things aren't on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him! Jill Green : Well okay, if it means that much to you, then I'll ask him out.", "summary": "Ross is not Jill's type, but Rachel thinks he's great and tries to convince her otherwise."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, that's not what I meant. Jill Green : No! Y'know what Rachel? You're right, y'know he has been really nice to me. Rachel Green : Yeah but, he's not your type. Jill Green : Yeah but maybe that's a good thing. Y'know I'm doing all these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek too! Rachel Green : Yeah but, you don't, you don't, you don't want to try to much too fast. Y'know? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast don't you? Jill Green : What? Rachel Green : She-she died Jill. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? Oh-ohhhh! Monica Geller : Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.", "summary": "Rachel and Jill are talking about a guy who has been nice to Jill, but Rachel thinks he's not her type. Jill suggests trying dating a geek as a change of pace, but Rachel warns her against moving too fast. Monica enters with tea or soup for Chandler, who is pretending to be sick."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh Jeez honey, I thought, I thought you were asleep. Monica Geller : How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room. Chandler Bing : I was asleep. Oh no! No-no honey! Y'know what's sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy. Monica Geller : Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that I'm not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. Chandler Bing : Would you please get some rest! Monica Geller : I'm fine. Joey Tribbiani : \"Happy birthday to you!\" Gunther : You're paying for that. Joey Tribbiani : What? No-no it's her birthday! Gunther : You've sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a conversation about layers and blankets being sexy. Monica wants to prove she's not sick by getting into bed with Chandler, but he insists she get some rest. Joey interrupts with a rendition of \"Happy Birthday\" that Gunther is charging for."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : But it really... Gunther : You are no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Ross Geller : Rach? Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Did you tell your sister to ask me out? Rachel Green : Well yeah... Ross Geller : Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think she's cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never! Rachel Green : Really?! Ross Geller : Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, \"Why not?!\"", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss whether or not Rachel should ask Ross out on a date."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh so-so not really never. Ross Geller : I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all we've been through, I just-y'know I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho, and mine! Monica Geller : Chandler, I think I'm sick. Chandler Bing : Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe! Monica Geller : Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no-no-no, you are not getting me this way. Monica Geller : Come on! I really need your help! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no! Monica Geller : Fine, I'll rub it on myself.", "summary": "Ross wants a brother to reciprocate his feelings towards Monica, but Joey and Chandler are not interested. Monica becomes sick and asks Chandler for help, but he refuses, causing Monica to rub the ointment on herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : So you're just, kinda rubbing it on yourself? Monica Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : It's nice. Monica Geller : Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on? Chandler Bing : Yes! Monica Geller : I can't believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell? Chandler Bing : It's all very, very good. So you wanna go uh, mix it up? Monica Geller : Not now, I'm sick! Chandler Bing : Oh come on you big faker!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are discussing his self-massage routine, with Chandler becoming aroused by the act. Monica is disgusted and tries to change the subject, but Chandler continues to pursue it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What happened to your rule about never sleeping with sick people? Chandler Bing : Well that was before all the vaporizing action. Monica Geller : Okay, if you really wanna have sex... Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Worked like a charm. Jill Green : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Wh-what are you doing here? Jill Green : This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? Rachel Green : Well, I-I don't like it. Jill Green : Really?!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler break a rule by having sex while he's sick. Jill arrives for her date with Ross, but Rachel doesn't approve of the location."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It's kinda slutty. Jill Green : It's yours! Rachel Green : Yeah well, I'm-I'm a slut. Jill Green : Me too. Ross Geller : Hi Jill! Jill Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi . Rachel Green : Rachel. Ross Geller : Rachel! Well, you-you're not at home, you're-you're-you're right here. Rachel Green : Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But it's not!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about her wearing a revealing dress, with Jill chiming in that she also wore similar clothing. Ross enters the room and greets Jill before turning to Rachel, who is surprised but happy to see him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay. So well I'll umm, I'll have her home by midnight. Rachel Green : Why aren't you home yet?! Monica Geller : Is someone there? Rachel Green : Oh yes, it's me! Sorry! Chandler Bing : What are you doing here? Rachel Green : Uh, I'm just, I'm just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing? Chandler Bing : We got some Vap-O-Rub in some places. Rachel Green : Oh, he brought her back to his apartment. Monica Geller : Who? Is that your sister? Rachel Green : Ugh, she is a slut!", "summary": "Ross brings a woman home by midnight but doesn't arrive until later. Rachel checks on him and sees someone else at his apartment, causing a confrontation. It is revealed that Chandler brought a woman back to his apartment, leading to a conversation about their actions."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?! Rachel Green : Oh my God, look-look he's taking off her clothes! Chandler Bing : He's taking off her coat! Rachel Green : Oh, this is just terrible. Monica Geller : Oh no it's not, no it's not. It's a first date. I'm sure that nothing is gonna... Rachel Green : Oh. Chandler Bing : Ho-oh, he's gonna get some! Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Y'know so umm, he's closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. Well, I'm off to bed! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh... Oh wait, I don't have to lie to you, you don't live here anymore. Uh, I'm eating their food. What are you doing? Rachel Green : Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, I didn't know we could date your sister!", "summary": "Ross is on a date with Monica's sister, and he shuts the drapes to create a comfortable atmosphere for their conversation. Meanwhile, Rachel and Chandler are watching from outside and making jokes about the situation. Joey joins them and reveals that he is also eating their food."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey we know you steal our food. Chandler Bing : I'm good. Monica Geller : Oh, are the drapes still closed hon? Rachel Green : Yeah. And y'know who should've shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over. Chandler Bing : Is that a swing? Rachel Green : Oh don't even ask! Chandler Bing : Yuck! Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe Ross went out with Rachel's sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years. Chandler Bing : That was like 5 years ago. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you got 5 years left!", "summary": "Monica accuses Joey of stealing food, then mentions closed drapes. Rachel adds that a neighbor should have shut their drapes and Chandler wonders if it's a swing. Chandler makes a comment about Ross's relationship with Rachel's sister, and Joey reveals he was mad at Chandler for 10 years after he made out with Joey's sister."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Joey... Joey Tribbiani : You wanna make it 6?! Rachel Green : Oh Ross, hi! Hey, how are ya? There you are! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : I'll take a coffee. So how was your big date last night? Ross Geller : Uhh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun. Rachel Green : Yeah fun? Great! So uh, so did you guys hit it off? Ross Geller : I guess so. Rachel Green : So uh, so did anything happen? Because rumor has it you guys shut the drapes! Ross Geller : No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.", "summary": "Ross goes on a date and shuts the drapes to show his date slides of his favorite fossils, but nothing else happens."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, slides. So really nothing happened. Ross Geller : Something could've happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe. Rachel Green : Right. Was it the, \"Please don't show me another picture of a trilobite vibe?\" Ross Geller : Anyway, if she, if she wasn't in to me, why-why would she ask me out again? Rachel Green : She asked-asked you out again? Ross Geller : Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentine's Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean. Rachel Green : Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I can't! I can't! I can't! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just can't. It's just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I can't do it! I can't do it. Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Okay! It's okay. It's okay. Hey, it's too weird for you, I won't see her again. Rachel Green : Thank you. I...yeah. Ross Geller : I mean after tomorrow night.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past interactions with each other, including a time when Rachel asked Ross out on a date but then cancelled at the last minute. Ross is hopeful that something could happen between them again, despite Rachel's reservations."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I can't! I can't do it! It's just gonna freak me out!!! Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Ooh-hey-hey-hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll-I'll tell her tonight I can't see her anymore. Rachel Green : Ross thanks. Ross Geller : You want me to call her right now? Rachel Green : Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on that's-that's crazy-I mean that's crazy. So what's-what's going on with you? What is going on with you? Ross Geller : Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester! Rachel Green : Yeah do it now, call right now. Monica Geller : This is my favorite part. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah me too. Phoebe Buffay : Oh y'know what's sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.", "summary": "Ross tries to break up with his girlfriend but changes his mind after Rachel says no. Ross will tell her he can't see her anymore tonight instead. Rachel doesn't want Ross to call her right away and talks about something else."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon! Joey Tribbiani : You didn't cry when Bambi's mother died? Chandler Bing : Yes it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer! Monica Geller : Chandler there's nothing wrong with crying! I mean you don't have to be so macho all the time. Chandler Bing : I'm not macho. Monica Geller : Yeah you're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Chandler Bing : No, I guess I just never really cried. Y'know? I'm not a crying kind of guy. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man there's gotta be something that gets you choked up! Like uh, uh oh, what if you saw a three-legged puppy? Chandler Bing : I'd be sad sure, but I wouldn't cry. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, what if the puppy said, \"Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me.\"", "summary": "Chandler Bing doesn't like to show emotion and claims he never cries. Monica Geller tells him it's okay to cry, but he insists he's not macho about it. Joey Tribbiani tries to get Chandler to imagine a scenario that would make him emotional, but Chandler can only think of ways in which he would feel sad but not cry."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Cry?! I just found a talking puppy, I'm rich! Monica Geller : Oh, I've got it! I have got it! Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good! Phoebe Buffay : All right, what's going on there? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's Parent's Day, first grade. That's me with the janitor Martin. Monica Geller : Where were your parents? Chandler Bing : Oh they didn't want to come! Phoebe Buffay : Oh Chandler! Monica Geller : Poor thing! Phoebe Buffay : So that story doesn't make you cry? Chandler Bing : No! Look, I don't cry! It's not a big deal! Okay?!", "summary": "Chandler shares a childhood photo of him with a janitor on Parent's Day in first grade. Monica and Phoebe find it touching, but Chandler insists he doesn't cry easily."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No! It's not okay! It's not okay at all!! You're dead inside!! The Fan : Excuse me. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? The Fan : Are you Phoebe Buffay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. The Fan : Can-can I get your autograph, I'm your biggest fan. Phoebe Buffay : Oh you're my biggest fan? I've always wanted to meet you! Hi! Sure! Yeah! The Fan : Wow! Wow, thanks a lot! I just wanna say, I think you're really talented. Phoebe Buffay : You're just saying that because you're my biggest fan. Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? He's a fan. Bye! Joey Tribbiani : So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay meets her biggest fan who wants an autograph, but when Joey Tribbiani intervenes, things take a strange turn as Phoebe becomes suspicious of the fan's intentions."}
-{"dialogues": "The Fan : I have no idea what you're talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffay's autograph! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're Phoebe's fan! The Fan : Oh yeah! I've seen all her movies. Joey Tribbiani : Movies? The Fan : That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star. Joey Tribbiani : I don't think so. The Fan : No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store aren't gonna believe this! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Gunther, don't let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebe's a porn star! Gunther : Well, I wouldn't call her a star, but she's really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget. Jill Green : Hey!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is a porn star and The Fan just got her autograph. Joey Tribbiani doesn't believe it and tries to kick The Fan out of the comic book store with Gunther."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Jill Green : You'll never believe what just happened, Ross just totally blew me off and he didn't even tell me why! Rachel Green : Ohhh well. Y'know what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! He's a real up-and-comer in Human Resources. Jill Green : Y'know, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I'm not gonna date some random guy from your work. Rachel Green : It's not random, it's Bob. Jill Green : It's probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesn't like the way I dress-No that can't be it. It's really gotta be the smart thing. Oh I'm so stupid! I'm just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl! Rachel Green : No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to. Jill Green : You asked him too?! Rachel Green : Hm-mmm. Jill Green : Why?!", "summary": "Ross canceled his date with Rachel because she asked him to."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history... Jill Green : I don't understand, do you want to go out with Ross? Rachel Green : No. Jill Green : You don't want him, but you don't want me to have him? Rachel Green : Y'know Bob in Human Resources... Jill Green : Ugh! I cannot believe you did this too me! You had me doubting how smart I was! You had me doubting my fashion sense! Rachel Green : Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just don't date Ross! There's a million other guys out there, you just... Jill Green : Hey! You have no right to tell me what to do. Rachel Green : I'm not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do! Jill Green : Why are you so jealous of me?", "summary": "Rachel Green is jealous of her sister Jill and their shared history with Ross. She tries to convince Jill not to date him, but Jill becomes upset and defensive."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you can't have! Jill Green : Can't have?! Excuse me, the only thing I can't have is dairy! Rachel Green : All right, all right, well you just blew your chances at dating Bob! Jill Green : Who?! Rachel Green : In Human Resources!!!!!! Rachel Green : ...I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?! Monica Geller : You're jealous of Princess Caroline? Rachel Green : Do I have my own castle? Ross Geller : Hey! Uh, Phoebe's not here is she? Rachel Green : No.", "summary": "Rachel is jealous of Jill because Jill wants something (dairy) that Rachel can't have. Rachel blows her chance at dating someone in HR. Rachel is also jealous of Princess Caroline."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh great! Did you get a movie? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I don't think it's the kind you're gonna like. Chandler Bing : You didn't get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night did you? Joey Tribbiani : Sort of... Monica Geller : Guys, what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe's a porn star! #ALL# : What?!! Chandler Bing : Phoebe Buffay In Buffay The Vampire Layer. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Monica Geller : That's Phoebe! Where did you get that?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is revealed to be a porn star in a movie titled \"Buffay the Vampire Layer.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker. Ross Geller : And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didn't know he was in there. Rachel Green : Wow! I mean, I just-I can't, I can't believe this. Y'know, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe who's always been somewhat of a question mark. Monica Geller : This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, y'know she had such a terrible childhood. Chandler Bing : Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I don't do porn. Monica Geller : Yes, but you are dead inside. Joey Tribbiani : All right well, I'd better take that back. Monica Geller : Wh-what, why? Joey Tribbiani : We can't watch that! I mean that's Phoebe! Monica Geller : Yeah you're right, we can't-we shouldn't watch this.", "summary": "Joey and Ross see each other entering an adult video store, so Ross runs in ahead of Joey to surprise him. Meanwhile, Rachel can't believe it, and Monica finds it bizarre considering Phoebe's difficult childhood. Chandler jokes about having a terrible childhood but doesn't do porn, and Joey takes back his initial comment about watching the video."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Absolutely not. Monica Geller : Y'know maybe a little bit! Rachel Green : Probably just the first half. Joey Tribbiani : No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebe's our friend! Well, I'm not gonna watch it! Ross Geller : Yeah! Good for you Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Buffay : Ah, I thought I'd find you here, Nasforatool. The Vampire : Buffay, are you going to plunge your stake into my dark places? Buffay : Actually, I was kinda hoping it would be the other way around. Monica Geller : Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica argue over watching a video of Phoebe's birthday party; Joey objects to it, while Ross supports the idea. Meanwhile, Buffay encounters a vampire who makes a suggestive comment towards her, and Monica notices something unusual on Rachel's ankle."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Her ankle is what you're watching? Rachel Green : Well it's hard to tell... Oh God, if she would just stop moving. Chandler Bing : She's just doing her job! Joey Tribbiani : You sick bastards! Rachel Green : Oh, it's a tattoo! That's weird, Phoebe doesn't... Wait that's Ursula! That's not Phoebe that is Ursula! Joey Tribbiani : Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! What's up? Oh my God! What am I doing?!! Monica Geller : Hey sweetie! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Chicken Soup for the Soul?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group is gathered around a TV screen showing a woman's ankle, with Chandler and Joey making inappropriate comments. Rachel tries to explain what they are watching, but Ursula appears on the screen instead of Phoebe, causing confusion. Monica joins the conversation with a book recommendation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : There's no back to this couch! Monica Geller : Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff. Chandler Bing : Yeah I know, but I figured a shot y'know? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldn't think I was y'know, all dead inside. Monica Geller : Oh that's so sweet! Look Chandler I don't care if you can't cry, I love you. Chandler Bing : Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest. Monica Geller : Stop it! Chandler Bing : No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, we're up at the altar and I'm like this. Monica Geller : I won't care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you don't cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it won't matter to me.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler get married and have a baby, but Chandler struggles with showing emotions. Despite this, Monica reassures him that she will love him no matter what."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, well I won't uh, worry about this anymore then. Monica Geller : And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And you're writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, \"I will always be with you,\" and you still can't shed one tiny tear, I know you'll be crying a river inside. Chandler Bing : Aww, I love you so... Monica Geller : What is wrong with you?!!! Chandler Bing : What?! Monica Geller : What?! You can't shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond! Chandler Bing : So you didn't mean any of that?! Monica Geller : No you robot!! Ross Geller : You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to... Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-that's just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, they've really taken a liking to me. Uhh what's-what's-what's the matter? Jill Green : Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know we're not supposed to see each other anymore and I'm okay with that, it's just that I don't know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.", "summary": "Monica dies from a long illness, leaving Chandler a note that says \"I will always be with you.\" However, Chandler is unable to shed a tear at her funeral, causing Monica's ghost to appear and scold him for not being emotional enough. Meanwhile, Ross tries to mediate a fight between Rachel and Jill Green, but his attempts are unsuccessful."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Of course, what happened? Jill Green : I don't want to talk about it. Ross Geller : Okay, umm... Jill Green : But you know what might really cheer me up? Ross Geller : What? Jill Green : Seeing some more of your super-cool slides. Ross Geller : Wow! Really?! Jill Green : Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand. Ross Geller : Well, I'd love to! Here, you wait right here and I'll go get the projector and my notes! Jill Green : Oh great! Thanks Ross, you're such a good friend!", "summary": "Jill doesn't want to talk about something, but Ross offers to show her his slides in an attempt to cheer her up. Jill expresses interest in seeing more of Ross's slides and asks him to finish talking about different kinds of sand."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ohh! Rachel Green : Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I can't find her anywhere. Monica Geller : No, I haven't. Rachel Green : Well, is Ross home? Maybe I'll just call him to see if he's actually seen her. Ursula Buffay : Who is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's Phoebe! Phoebe! Ursula Buffay : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God. So-so you're making porn movies. Ursula Buffay : No I'm not. Man's Voice : We're still rolling!", "summary": "Ross can't find Jill and asks Rachel if Ross is home. Rachel checks and finds that Ross is not there. Phoebe walks in and Ursula mistakes her for a porn star."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You're making one right now! Another Man's Voice : Let's go Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : And-and you're using my name! Ursula Buffay : Yeah, can I help you with something? Same Man's Voice : Phoebe, come on! Phoebe Buffay : Look, I'm talking right now! You're-you mean her. Ursula Buffay : Y'know, twin stuff is always a real big seller. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ursula Buffay : Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars. Phoebe Buffay : No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! And shame on all of you! You're disgusting! Especially you with that!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is in a heated conversation with multiple people using her name and making light of her identity as a twin. She becomes increasingly frustrated and angry, demanding they stop using her name and insulting them for their disrespectful behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Slides are almost ready. Jill Green : Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol! Ross Geller : Uh okay, well there's-there's wine in the kitchen. Jill Green : Oh great! Ross Geller : Hello? Rachel Green : What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?! Ross Geller : O-okay, Rach calm-calm down, okay? She-she's really upset we're just talking. Rachel Green : Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me! Ross Geller : So that's the only reason she could be here huh? It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe I'm a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show! Rachel Green : Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!", "summary": "Jill suggests adding alcohol to the slideshow, which makes Rachel suspicious of Jill's motives. Rachel accuses Jill of trying to get back at her through Ross, who denies any romantic feelings for Jill."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Y'know what? I think I can take care of myself, I'll talk to you later. Good-bye. Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that you're just using me. Jill Green : So? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : So, I just came from the company Ursula works for. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, not you too! Phoebe Buffay : No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffay's checks; there were a lot of them. Joey Tribbiani : Nice! Phoebe Buffay : Um-mmm, and I won't have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address. Joey Tribbiani : That's great, but isn't it gonna bother that people still think you're a porn star?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Ross tries to end a conversation with Jill, but she reveals that his sister Ursula thinks he's only using her. Phoebe picks up checks for Phoebe Buffay at a company where people still think she's a porn star. Joey is excited about the prospect of not having to deal with this misconception anymore."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! No! I know how to handle it. Joey Tribbiani : You do? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. You're trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, I'll give you a hint. From porn! Okay? Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! See? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : You uh, you may have been right about Jill. Rachel Green : Oh! I knew it! What happened? Ross Geller : Umm, she kissed me. Rachel Green : What?! You kissed! Chandler Bing : Maybe we should give them some privacy.", "summary": "Ross kisses Rachel after realizing he may have feelings for her, while Joey and Phoebe try to figure out where they know each other from (leading to Phoebe revealing that Joey's pervert boyfriend watched her in a porn movie)."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Shhhh!!! Ross Geller : Look, I uh, I tried not to kiss her, okay? Rachel Green : Well, it doesn't sound like it! I mean, it's pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just don't kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing! Ross Geller : Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didn't stop it. I guess I-I just wasn't thinking... Rachel Green : Yeah that's right you weren't thinking! Y'know what? Let me give you something to think about! Ross Geller : Oh wait-hold it! But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing. Rachel Green : Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sister's mouth long enough to tell me that. Ross Geller : Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : No, I mean, look I don't know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I don't want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.", "summary": "Ross tries to explain why he kissed Jill, but Rachel interrupts and teases him about it. Ross then realizes that if anything were to happen between him and Jill, their relationship would never work out."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow. I, I don't even know what to say. Thank you. Ross Geller : You're welcome. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Are-are you crying? Chandler Bing : I just don't see why those two can't work things out! Jill Green : All right, I'm leaving! Because I'm not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. That's you Rachel! Rachel Green : Yeah, I got that. Jill Green : And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you? Ross Geller : You take care Jill. Jill Green : Okay, see ya! Rachel Green : Bye-bye-e!", "summary": "Rachel and Jill have a confrontation, with Rachel admitting she sabotaged Jill's attempts at happiness. Jill leaves, and Ross expresses his frustration with Rachel's behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Bye. Chandler Bing : I-I can't believe Jill's gone. I can't help it, I opened a gate. Rachel Green : Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : What is the matter with you?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Barry and Mindy. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. Who-who's Barry and Mindy? Rachel Green : Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh-oh, wasn't he cheating on you with her?", "summary": "Jill has left, Chandler can't believe it, Rachel returns with news of Barry and Mindy getting a divorce, Monica reacts, Phoebe joins in, Joey doesn't know who Barry and Mindy are, and Ross comes up as an association."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me. Monica Geller : Why did they get divorced? Rachel Green : Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isn't that sad? God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be? Ross Geller : I know what you mean, I've always wondered how different my life would be if-if I'd never gotten divorced. Phoebe Buffay : Which time? Ross Geller : The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian. Joey Tribbiani : I can't. I keep seeing it the good way. Ross Geller : I'd bet I'd still be doing my kara-tay. Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from y'know, not doing anything else physical. Chandler Bing : Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay. Monica Geller : And what if I was still fat? Well, you wouldn't be dating me, that's for sure.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel were almost married before she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Meanwhile, Monica wonders why Ross and his first wife got divorced, and Phoebe ponders how different their lives would be if they had never split up. Joey thinks about the good parts of his marriage, while Chandler jokes that the problem was Monica's pronunciation of \"kara-tay,\" a reference to their lack of physical intimacy during their marriage. Finally, Monica laments what her life would be like if she were still overweight."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sure I would! #ALL# : Oh yeah! Come on! Yeah right! Chandler Bing : What, you guys really think that I'm that shallow? Ross Geller : No, I just think Monica was that fat. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! Oh-hey, there's Carol again! Chandler Bing : What if I had had the guts to quit my job? I'd probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my job's fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I don't have to wear a tie. Phoebe Buffay : What if I had taken that job at Merrill Lynch? Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Merrill Lynch? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.", "summary": "Chandler and Ross discuss Chandler's shallowness, while Joey imagines a life without being fired from Days of Our Lives. Phoebe considers a career in finance at Merrill Lynch after receiving a recommendation from a massage client who works there."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well why didn't you take the job? Phoebe Buffay : Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So I thought y'know that if I'd work with stocks, I'd have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox. Ross Geller : Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, we'd still hang out? Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green? Rachel Green : Rob Tillman! Ross Geller : No-no. It's-it's me, Ross! Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tillman. Ross Geller : No, no-no, Ross Geller. Rachel Green : Ohh, of course Monica's brother! Ross Geller : Yeah. Right.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe have a job opportunity discussion, but Phoebe declines due to her belief that everything that rhymes is true. Ross interrupts and reveals his identity, causing confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow! How are you?! Ross Geller : Good-good, I'm-I'm married. Rachel Green : Ohh! Me too! Ross Geller : Is-isn't it the best? Rachel Green : Oh, it's the best! So, umm how's Monica? Ross Geller : Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually she's right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi. Rachel Green : Ohh, I would love too. Ross Geller : Yeah? Oh-oh, she'd be so excited! Rachel Green : Ohh! Okay! Ross Geller : Come on!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross catch up on each other's lives, with Rachel revealing that she's married and Ross expressing his happiness for her. They then discuss Monica, who is nearby and would be excited to see Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh wait, don't you have to pay for your, Busty Ladies? Ross Geller : No, it's okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I don't... Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : But! Don't you have to give him his money back? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. Okay, let's go see Monica! Joey Tribbiani : So Monica, still going out with Dr. Boring huh? Monica Geller : He's not boring! He's just-he's just low key. Monica's Boyfriend : Here we go, one Hazelnut Latte. Monica Geller : Thanks.", "summary": "Ross buys a pornographic video for a kid but refuses to give him his money back. Monica is going out with a new guy who she insists is not boring, despite Joey's doubts."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica's Boyfriend : Yeah. Y'know, the hazelnut actually not a nut, it's a seed. Joey Tribbiani : Wow!! Monica's Boyfriend : Can anyone else name a well known seed that's been masquerading as a nut? Joey Tribbiani : Oh dear God, let me think. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh no! What's the matter? Chandler Bing : Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not \"Archie Comic funny.\" Monica's Boyfriend : Y'know what honey? I got to get back to the hospital. Monica Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Monica's boyfriend reveals that hazelnuts are actually seeds, not nuts. Joey wants to know if anyone else has a similar misconception. Chandler receives a rejection letter for his writing, and Monica's boyfriend needs to return to the hospital."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica's Boyfriend : Okay. Monica Geller : Bye. Monica's Boyfriend : Bye-bye. Oh uh, by the way, the answer is, the Brazil nut. Chandler Bing : Was his question what's more boring than him? Joey Tribbiani : Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you some money? Chandler Bing : Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Chandler Bing : Ehh. Monica Geller : Maybe Joey doesn't have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right? Joey Tribbiani : That's an idea! Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?", "summary": "Monica's boyfriend asks her a question and she responds with \"bye.\" Chandler Bing asks Joey what's more boring than him, to which Joey replies he's sorry about the Archie thing. Monica suggests that if Joey hires an assistant, he could take money from her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff! Joey Tribbiani : That's great! That would be great! Let's do that! Chandler Bing : I could use the money; it could give me time to write. Joey Tribbiani : Oh right great! Welcome aboard! Chandler Bing : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I don't need any assistance in there, take a break! Chandler Bing : All right! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe! Guess what? Phoebe Buffay : What?", "summary": "Monica suggests that Joey could use Chandler as his assistant to handle fan mail and other tasks. Joey agrees, and Chandler sees it as an opportunity to make money and have time to focus on his writing. However, Joey quickly abandons Chandler when he needs to use the bathroom, leaving Chandler to take a break. Meanwhile, Phoebe enters the conversation, revealing that she has something to share with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh that's so sweet! Oh! Hang on! Hang onnnnnn!!! Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, it's a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, it's okay. It's okay, you're allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired. Ross Geller : Hey Mon! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Mon, look who I ran into! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Rachel!! You look terrific! Rachel Green : Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? Monica Geller : You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds! Ross Geller : And, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "Monica hires Joey's assistant, Phoebe mistakes a number, and Chandler meets the gang."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Ross Geller : And that's Phoebe over there! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long as it been since we've seen each other? Ross Geller : 1987, the day after Christmas, at Sean McMahon's party. I played you one of my songs, y'know Interplanetary Courtship Ritual. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Right. So now, are-do you, do you still do music? Ross Geller : Sometimes, you should come over sometime! I'll play you one of my other... Rachel Green : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives, just walked in here! Monica Geller : Rach, he's a friend of ours. Rachel Green : You are friends with Dr. Drake Remoray?", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe run into each other after not seeing each other for years. They reminisce about past experiences, including Ross's infamous song \"Interplanetary Courtship Ritual.\" Joey enters the conversation, causing a distraction."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well it's kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that he's not real. Ross Geller : Hey-hey, or I could bring my keyboard over here sometime! Rachel Green : He's coming over! He's coming over! Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : I know, here-here!! Monica Geller : Ohhh! No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you... Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's always nice to meet the fans.", "summary": "Drake's busy schedule and non-human status make it difficult for Chandler to be friends with him. Ross offers to bring his keyboard over to help. Rachel excitedly invites Joey over, but Monica reminds her that he is not real. Joey plays along, pretending to be a fan of Rachel's on the show."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ah! Joey Tribbiani : She's not crazy is she? Monica Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : So uh, how you doin'? Phoebe Buffay : Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Go!! Who's this? Oh okay, you're gonna like working for me. What's your name? What kind of name is Brendy? I... Whatever... Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name. Joey Tribbiani : Hey there you are! Chandler Bing : Uh-oh, it's my boss! Joey Tribbiani : All right, here's a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work I'm delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! Chandler Bing : Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans. Monica Geller : You realize what you are don't you?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Brendy (Joan), a new employee who is hired by Rachel Green. Joey Tribbiani is excited to work with Brendy, while Monica Geller is skeptical about her abilities. Chandler Bing has tasks for Brendy to complete, and Monica questions whether Brendy is capable of doing them. The conversation ends with Brendy being assigned the task of delivering twins, but only one of them is hers."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : You're his bitch. Phoebe Buffay : No-no!! No!! Monica Geller : Oh wait! You didn't just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!! Phoebe Buffay : No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars. Chandler Bing : But the Kit-Kats are all right?! Phoebe Buffay : What am I gonna do?! What am I gonna do?! I can't call my office they'll kill me! I can't call my clients they'll kill themselves! Great, now my chest hearts. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : My chest hurts! Oh, and now I-I can't breathe. Chandler Bing : Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!", "summary": "Phoebe loses $13 million in a business deal and panics, while Chandler accidentally sits on Monica's Kit-Kats."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, if I were, would-would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm? Monica Geller : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : Then yes that is what I'm having. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Come on Pheebs, it's not that bad! Y'know most people would be excited if they didn't have to work for a couple of weeks. Phoebe Buffay : Most people don't like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and I'm already going crazy. I miss Joan. Monica Geller : Honey, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow it down. Chandler Bing : I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die! But you're not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today. I wish I was dead. Monica Geller : Let's take a walk. Y'know maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! Phoebe Buffay : So what's going on with you?", "summary": "Phoebe has shooting pains in her left arm and Monica suspects it might be a heart attack. However, Phoebe insists she loves her job and misses her boss Joan. Chandler makes a morbid joke about dying, but Monica suggests he should write for a magazine instead. Finally, Phoebe asks about Monica's current situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well umm, I've been doing a lot more of my kara-tay. Phoebe Buffay : Still going through that dry spell with Carol? Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : How long has it been since you had sex? Ross Geller : Well, last weekend... Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's not so bad. Ross Geller : ...will be two months... Phoebe Buffay : That is. Ross Geller : ...since I stopped trying. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe you need to spice things up a little.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss his lack of sexual intimacy with Carol, with Phoebe suggesting he \"spice things up\" to address the dry spell."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What-what do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other... Ross Geller : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, dirty talk, mnage trois, toys... Ross Geller : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Roll playing... You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench! Ross Geller : Okay, I think I got it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and you're-you're-you're rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybody's watching! It never happened. Monica Geller : Sorry. So how's it going with Joey? Chandler Bing : Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, \"Bring me food.\" Two is, \"I'm with a girl, bring us food.\" Three is, \"I'm lost and I can't find food.\"", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss various sexual scenarios, including bondage, role-playing, and m\u00e9nages \u00e0 trois. Chandler joins the conversation and mentions that Joey beeps him with codes to request food. Monica interrupts to ask how Joey is doing."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Is uh, is she gonna be all right? Monica Geller : Yeah! She's right in there! Joey Tribbiani : Oh great. Hey! Go take off those pants, they look ready! Joey Tribbiani : All right, and over there is Brady's Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning. Rachel Green : Wow! This is so amazing! What else? What else? Joey Tribbiani : Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. And uh that is an old man! Hey old man! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : All righty, what do you say we head back to my place? Rachel Green : Wow! Umm, y'know, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldn't. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Why can't the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us?", "summary": "Joey and Monica are discussing someone who is in the hospital. Joey makes jokes about taking off their pants, while Monica tries to be serious. Rachel enters the conversation and expresses excitement about being there. Joey shows her around and mentions his favorite bar nearby. Rachel becomes interested and wants to go back to Joey's place, but changes her mind due to various reasons."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Isn't that a line from the show?! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, yeah but uh, I may have said those things before but, I never truly meant them. Until now. Rachel Green : That's a line from the show too! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, you watch too much TV. Chandler Bing : Here you go Joe, here's the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Yeah, there's pulp in that. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : I thought we talked about this. I don't like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isn't juice. All juice, okay? Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I guess I just like the pulp. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm being so rude. Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey quote lines from a TV show, while Chandler serves juice with pulp and non-pulp options."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah sure, iced tea would be great. Joey Tribbiani : Iced tea. Chandler Bing : Okay, anything for you sir? Joey Tribbiani : Did I not just tell him? Rachel Green : Yes, you did. Joey Tribbiani : Okay look, Chandler, if this you have got to listen! You're gonna throw that juice at me, aren't ya? Chandler Bing : It's not all juice! Ross Geller : So honey, this morning was fun, huh? Me hopping in on you in the shower there. Carol Willick : Yeah! And maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms. Ross Geller : Look Carol umm, I was, I was thinking maybe uh, maybe we can spice things up a little.", "summary": "Ross tries to suggest ways to spice up their relationship with Carol, while Joey and Chandler argue over iced tea."}
-{"dialogues": "Carol Willick : What do you mean? Ross Geller : Carol our sex life is-it's just not working... Ben Geller : Dad!! Ross Geller : Hey there little fella! Hey, uh-hey, why don't we get some shoes on ya, huh? Hey, why don't you show dad how you can put your shoes on, in your room! Yay!! Ben Geller : Yay! Ross Geller : Yay! Seriously, our sex life... I was thinking, maybe I don't know, we could try some-some new things. Y'know? For fun? Carol Willick : Like what? Ross Geller : Well I don't know umm, what if we were too tie each other up? Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. Nah! Umm, y'know we-we could try dirty talk? Umm, we could, we could have a threesome. Carol Willick : I love that idea! Chandler Bing : Who sold a story to Archie Comics?!", "summary": "Ross and Carol are having issues in their sex life, so they discuss possible solutions. Ross suggests trying new things for fun, such as tying each other up or engaging in dirty talk. Carol agrees, and they brainstorm more ideas. Meanwhile, Chandler reveals that he sold a story to Archie Comics."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God! That's great! Oh wow! You're a published writer! I wish I had a present for you! Chandler Bing : Aww. Monica Geller : Wait a minute! My last Kit-Kat bar! Chandler Bing : You wanna share it? Monica Geller : Okay!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know you're mad, but I just want to say I'm sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Y'know? I mean, y'know how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise? Monica Geller : It's not mayonnaise!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, o-o-o-o-okay anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Here. Chandler Bing : What's this? Joey Tribbiani : Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it.", "summary": "Monica Geller discovers that her friend Chandler Bing is a published writer and offers to share her last Kit-Kat bar as a celebratory gift. Joey Tribbiani enters the conversation and apologizes for his past behavior towards Monica, giving her fresh squeezed orange juice with pulp as a peace offering."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Aww, thanks man. Monica Geller : Hey Joey, Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! That's great! Congratulations! What's the story?! Chandler Bing : Oh you wouldn't uh, care. It's just a stupid comic book story. Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me?! I love Archie! And the whole gang! Chandler Bing : Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy , uh but he doesn't want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assist-as his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that can't have lumps in them. Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar! Did they already do that one? 'Cause I think I read it! Rachel Green : Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls? Monica Geller : Yeah, a lot. A lot, a lot! Rachel Green : Ohh! And I'm one of them!! Wow! Oh, I just cannot believe this! I mean, Joey Tribbiani!", "summary": "Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics. The story involves Reggie hiring Archie as his butler and making him do various tasks like bringing milkshakes without lumps in them. Joey remembers reading a similar story before."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, y'know it's none of my business, but aren't you married? Rachel Green : Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Y'know I just wish we could be like on a break! Monica Geller : Well, you're not. Rachel Green : Oh, it's so easy for you I mean, you're not married, you get to have sex with who ever you want! Monica Geller : Yeah I can! And don't think I don't, because I do! I mean all the time, you betcha! Rachel Green : Monica. You've, you've done it right? Monica Geller : Of course I have! What do you think, I'm some 30 year old virgin? Rachel Green : Oh my God! You're a 30 year old virgin! Monica Geller : Say it louder, I don't think the guy all the way in the back heard you! Guy All The Way In The Back : Yeah, I heard it.", "summary": "Rachel Green wishes she could be on a break from her marriage, while Monica Geller reveals that she has sex with whoever she wants. Rachel is shocked to learn that Monica is a 30-year-old virgin."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's not like, I haven't any opportunities. I mean, y'know, I'm just waiting for the perfect guy. I'm seeing this guy Roger, all right? He's not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Y'know, give him my flower. Rachel Green : Oh my God!! Do it!! Honey, you've waited long enough!! Monica Geller : Y'know what? You are right?! Rachel Green : Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldn't be all this rules and restrictions! Y'know, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever... Monica Geller : Rachel! I'm never gonna think it's okay for you to cheat on your husband! Rachel Green : Oh what do you know? Virgin! Monica Geller : Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, the doctor said that could be one of the side effects. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Put that cigarette out! Phoebe Buffay : No! It's not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss sex and relationships, with Monica hesitant to engage in casual sex while Rachel advocates for a more relaxed attitude. Phoebe enters the conversation, revealing that she is experiencing a side effect of her recent medical procedure."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Put it out!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Okay! I'm so glad you're here. Ross Geller : Come on. I got it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, give it to me. Ross Geller : I got it! Phoebe Buffay : Give it! Ross Geller : Hello? No she can't come to the phone right now. Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?! Ross Geller : J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better. Phoebe Buffay : Thank God.", "summary": "Monica and Ross are trying to get rid of a call on their phone, while Phoebe is excited to see Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, she's fired. Nurse : You've done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go. Dr. Wesley : Good-bye and God speed, Hope Brady. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Not so fast Wesley! Dr. Wesley : Remoray! Dr. Drake Ramoray : That's right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, you're not a real doctor! And that woman's brain, is fine! Rachel Green : Oh! Thank God! Dr. Drake Ramoray : Hope! Hope! Hope : Drake! Dr. Drake Ramoray : You're not dying Hope, you're gonna live a long, healthy life. With me.", "summary": "Hope Brady is in critical condition and doctors Wesley and Ramoray are arguing over her fate. Wesley wants to let her go, while Ramoray believes she will recover. Rachel Green interrupts and reveals that Hope's brain is fine. The doctors continue to argue, with Ramoray insisting he is a real doctor and Wesley accusing him of being unprofessional."}
-{"dialogues": "Hope : Oh Drake. Rachel Green : Okay! Here we go! Okay! Hi, Joey! It's Rachel! Umm, I am free tomorrow night. Yeah, sure, sure I can bring some sandwiches. Ross Geller : So honey this uh, this threesome thing umm, I mean how-how are you gonna start to find... Carol Willick : Ooh, actually I've been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this! Ross Geller : Oh. Wow! Huh. Boy! Well, someone's been doing their homework. Carol Willick : Yeah. Ooh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so... Ross Geller : Oh, I know. Y'know, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda... Carol Willick : Oh, me too. Ross Geller : Yeah? Well, I-I think Ben's asleep. Carol Willick : Oh umm, y'know I think it would be better if we just save it.", "summary": "Rachel and Hope discuss their plans for the next night, while Ross and Carol debate how to approach a threesome with Gail."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that. Ross Geller : Hey, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey, how's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I've got to get out of this bed, I'm going crazy here. Crazy! Monica Geller : Here you go sweetie. Phoebe Buffay : What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea! Monica Geller : But, I put some honey in it. Ross Geller : She doesn't know she was fired yet, does she? Chandler Bing : No, the doctors say it may kill her.", "summary": "Phoebe is going crazy in bed and Monica gives her herbal tea, which Phoebe hates. Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler discuss Phoebe's recent firing from her job."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What are you two girls whispering about over there?! Chandler Bing : But I think we should tell her. Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, what is this? A stupid contest? Because we got a winner here! Chandler Bing : Listen Phoebe, he's right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31. Phoebe Buffay : I know! But if I didn't work there, what else would I do? Monica Geller : Well, you used to like playing the guitar. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that was lucrative! Smart like your brother! Chandler Bing : Uh, what about y'know the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack. Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, pulling in a salary in the high six figures or rubbing gross naked people for chump change-ooh, what do I do?! What will I do?!", "summary": "Ross suggests that Phoebe's recent heart attack might be a sign for her to switch jobs. Phoebe becomes upset and starts brainstorming other career options, including playing music and massage therapy."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ohh, I mean it's just so realistic! Joey Tribbiani : I know. Yeah, his name is Pat. Rachel Green : Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it!! Joey Tribbiani : Do you uh, do you-ready for a refill? Rachel Green : Oh, I probably shouldn't-so I will! Oh! Wow! It's like it's raining! Joey Tribbiani : Pretty cool, huh? But if you're thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldn't get sucked up into the mechanism, well you'd be wrong. Rachel Green : Umm, can I use your bathroom? Joey Tribbiani : It's uh, right through there. Rachel Green : Okay. God y'know, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbiani's apartment... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, life's pretty great isn't it?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel Green and Joey Tribbiani are having a conversation about a dog named Pat, when they notice that there is a fish in the toilet. They try to figure out how to get it out, but ultimately decide to let it be sucked up into the mechanism. Later, Rachel asks to use Joey's bathroom and he agrees, despite the oddity of the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, it sure is! Monica Geller : I hope you're hungry, we're starting with oysters. And y'know what they say about oysters, don't you? Dr. Roger : They have parasites? Monica Geller : No! Umm well, some people say that Oysters are an aphrodisiac. Dr. Roger : What people? Monica Geller : People! People say it! Come here! Dr. Roger : So oysters, huh? Monica Geller : And then we're gonna have a little Middle Eastern cous-cous. Something we can eat, with our hands. Dr. Roger : Y'know, it's funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases... Monica Geller : No-no-no, no! It's sensual!", "summary": "Monica serves oysters and people say they are an aphrodisiac. Dr. Roger questions this and Monica replies that some people say it. Monica then serves Middle Eastern couscous, which they will eat with their hands. Dr. Roger brings up communicable diseases."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Roger : Ohh! Didn't know! Okay! Monica Geller : Okay! Ohhh no! Dr. Roger : I'm sorry sweetie, it's the hospital. The food looks great, maybe save me some? Monica Geller : I can't promise anything. Ross Geller : We're really gonna do this, huh? Carol Willick : Looks like it. Ross Geller : Y'know, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at... Carol Willick : I got it! Ross Geller : Okay. Carol Willick : Susan! Hi!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are planning to have a baby, but Rachel is hesitant and unsure."}
-{"dialogues": "Susan Bunch : Hey! Carol Willick : Thank you so much for coming. Susan Bunch : Oh, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Ross Geller : I'm-I'm Ross by the way. Susan Bunch : Hello Ross. I love what you've done with this space. Carol Willick : Thank you so much. Ross Geller : How hot is this?! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry you're here with me instead of Roger. Monica Geller : Yeah, me too. Chandler Bing : Well, I could make it seem like he's here. \"Here's some little known facts about cous-cous. They didn't add the second cous until 1979.\"", "summary": "Susan and Carol host a party in their new home, where Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Joey attend. Ross compliments the decor, while Chandler makes an unrelated comment about couscous."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Stop it!! That's not funny!! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, okay? It just-tonight was supposed to be y'know, it was supposed to be a big deal. Chandler Bing : What was tonight? Monica Geller : You don't want to know what tonight was. Chandler Bing : Okay. What was tonight? Monica Geller : Well, tonight was-was going to be my first time. Chandler Bing : With Roger? Not just with Roger?! Oh my God! Monica Geller : All right relax Mr. I've Had Sex Four Times! Chandler Bing : Four different women! I've had sex way more times!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a conversation about her plans for the night, which were supposed to be special but didn't go as expected. Monica reveals that she was planning to lose her virginity with someone named Roger, but Chandler misunderstands and thinks she means she has had sex with multiple people before."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How many? Chandler Bing : Nine. Monica Geller : I was just waiting for the perfect guy. Chandler Bing : Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy? Monica Geller : No. He's not a horrible guy. Chandler Bing : Hey that's what I tell girls about me. Monica Geller : Chandler, I'm gonna die a virgin! Chandler Bing : No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you. Monica Geller : Oh really? When? Do you wanna do it with me? Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Monica wants to have sex but has yet to find the right person; she and Chandler share a moment of flirtation before Monica reveals that she hasn't had sex and Chandler tries to reassure her that she will find someone."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I was kidding. Chandler Bing : So was I. Rachel Green : Joey, you're such an amazing actor! How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins? Joey Tribbiani : Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own. Rachel Green : Wow! Tell me something Joey--Whoa! I just fell right off the couch there. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you did. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Here you go. Let me ask you a question. Rachel Green : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : When was the last time someone told you just how beautiful you are?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Dr. Drake Remoray work together; they switch between acting naturally and making things up on their own. Rachel Green compliments Joey's acting skills, and he tells her a question to ponder."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow! I can't, I can't feel my hands. Joey Tribbiani : Come, come here. Chandler Bing : We can't do this. Monica Geller : No! Oyster? Chandler Bing : Yeah! If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, y'know? Because you've been waiting a very long time and I wouldn't want to disappoint you. Monica Geller : Yeah but see I have nothing to compare it too. So even if you're horrible, how would I know? Chandler Bing : I do like that. Monica Geller : It's harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with! Chandler Bing : Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right? Monica Geller : Absolutely! It would just be one friend helping out another friend.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss Chandler's reluctance to perform a sexual act, while Joey and Chandler argue over whether or not to help Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Stop it! We're doing this! Let's do it! Monica Geller : Noo!! Okay!! Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Umm, do you have any uhh, moves? Chandler Bing : I have some moves. Monica Geller : I have no moves. Okay, whatcha doin' there?! Oh y'know what? I'm sorry, this is just too weird. Chandler Bing : Yeah, let's just forget it. Monica Geller : What if I turn out the lights? Chandler Bing : Okay! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are planning to do a dance together, but they have no moves and are struggling to come up with ideas. They try to help each other out, but it's clear that they are not very good at dancing. Eventually, they decide to give up and turn off the lights."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : That's the couch. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : I know! I'll tell you something, we are gonna do that again! Chandler Bing : Oh, okay! Joey Tribbiani : Morning! Rachel Green : Oh right. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh God. Oh I can't believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler reenact a past moment on the couch, while Joey enters the room and overhears Rachel throwing up."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well he actually saw you a little bit too. Rachel Green : Noo! Oh God we did-we didn't, we didn't uhh... Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No, not after seeing that. Rachel Green : God I'm just a horrible person. Joey Tribbiani : Wh-why? Rachel Green : Because I'm married. That's right, I am a married woman! And I came to a TV star's apartment to have an affair! Uck! Joey Tribbiani : That's ridiculous! I'm not a \"Star,\" just a regular famous actor. Rachel Green : Yeah and I'm a horrible, horrible person. Joey Tribbiani : Rachel, would you stop saying that?! Hey-hey look, remember on the show when-when Caprice was dying and she gave me... Rachel Green : The ring from the cave, yeah.", "summary": "Rachel Green had an affair with a TV star (Joey Tribbiani) despite being married."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Uh okay, well uh... Rachel Green : Oh my God, they let you keep that stuff?! Joey Tribbiani : Sure! As long as they don't find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it. Rachel Green : No! No-no-no... Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, you've had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didn't. And that's what this ring stands for. Rachel Green : But I thought that ring stood for Caprice's undying love for her brother. Joey Tribbiani : Look, do you want the ring or not?! Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Ross finds out about the ring that Joey and Rachel exchanged during a previous conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look at you! You're up! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Phoebe Buffay : I thought I'd try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? I'll be back soon. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa! You're not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya? Phoebe Buffay : No. I've learned my lesson. Phoebe Buffay : Let's go! Come on! Move it! Come on! Shoes! Briefcase! Thanks Lou, good luck with the gall bladder. Ross Geller : Hey Joe did... Did you ever have a threesome? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carol's great and I'm sure you're a very attractive man, but I.... Ross Geller : No! The reason I'm asking is that... I sorta had one last night. Joey Tribbiani : You?", "summary": "Ross and Joey are talking about Phoebe taking a walk while Joey tries to convince her not to use the pay phone to call work. Phoebe has learned her lesson after previously getting into trouble with her boss. Ross brings up the topic of threesomes, asking if Joey has ever had one, and Joey hesitantly admits that he did have one last night with a woman named Carol."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : All right! So, was it amazing? Ross Geller : It was, it was okay. Joey Tribbiani : Just okay-Did you do it right?! Ross Geller : Look, it's just did, did you ever go to a party and think, \"Would really anyone miss me if I weren't here?\" Joey Tribbiani : Huh. But still Ross, you're worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Y'know what I mean? Ross Geller : Oh-oh, absolutely! Ross Geller : It's just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss their experiences at a party, with Ross expressing disappointment that his time on stage was brief and he spent most of the night waiting around."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : But you got to be with both of them, right? Ross Geller : Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol. Joey Tribbiani : Not the other one? Ross Geller : No, she kept kicking me away! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you don't want that. Ross Geller : No! Joey Tribbiani : Well hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff, right? Ross Geller : Oh I a lot of stuff! Joey Tribbiani : You got a little bored? Ross Geller : A little. Yeah. I made a snack.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss having multiple girlfriends, with Ross revealing that he only had one significant relationship (Carol) and Joey expressing disbelief at the idea of sharing someone. They briefly touch on Ross's boredom and snack-making habits."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? What did ya have? Ross Geller : Just a sandwich. Turkey, a little mustard... Joey Tribbiani : Sounds good. Ross Geller : It really was! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you! Monica Geller : Hey, check me out, I'm a slut! Chandler Bing : So you uh, want to do something tonight? Monica Geller : Oh I can't. Dr. Roger is coming over again.", "summary": "Ross eats a sandwich, Joey expresses interest, Ross says it was good. Chandler joins and talks about a girl he met, Monica teases him, they discuss plans for the evening."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh. Oh right! Right! Because you're still seeing him and uh, he's a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when... Monica Geller : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Totally! Totally, and you? Monica Geller : Great! It's so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you I'm all like, \"Can the doctor see me now?\" Chandler Bing : I bet he can. Monica Geller : Y'know, I don't have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. Are you sure you're okay? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Yeah! Don't worry about me, I'll be fine! Rachel Green : Ohh! My God! Barry!! Barry Farber : You-you-you said you were gonna be away all weekend! Rachel Green : Oh that's right! I'm sorry! I-I am early! Finish! Please!!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are discussing their romantic lives. Chandler reveals he is still seeing someone, who is a \"good guy,\" despite being nervous around him. Monica shares her recent experience with Dr. Roger, feeling anxious but more comfortable after spending time with Chandler. Rachel bursts in, apologizing for arriving early and interrupting their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Surprise! Look who's back! Arthur : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Arthur : Call security. Pheebs, didn't you get fired? Phoebe Buffay : Uh, I don't think so! Jack : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Jack!! Hey! Jack : What are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh? Jack : Well, you were fired.", "summary": "Phoebe returns unexpectedly and Arthur suspects she was fired. Phoebe denies it and Jack confirms that she was indeed terminated."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Nu-uh! Jack : I told that guy who answered your phone. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay I didn't get that message. So this doesn't count-Anyway, I'll be in my office. Jack : Uh, Phoebe you-you don't have an office. Phoebe Buffay : That's all right, I'll work here. This is goo, next to this plant. Jack : Phoebe, listen... Phoebe Buffay : You're in my office! Look, I have made a lot of cash for this company! Okay? I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake... Jack : You lost 13 million dollars. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, so this is all about money! Y'know it's bad enough that-Ow! Oh, you have got to be kidding! Jack : Are you all right?", "summary": "Phoebe and Jack discuss a mistake made by someone in Phoebe's office, with Phoebe claiming to have made a lot of money for the company. Jack reveals that the mistake resulted in the loss of $13 million, leading to an argument between the two."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm having another heart attack! Jack : What?! Phoebe Buffay : I'm having another heart attack!! Call 9-1-1!! Jack : Take it easy. Phoebe Buffay : Dumbass! Woman : Hey Pheebs! How's it going?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, they fired me and I'm having heart attack. Woman : Wow! Well, welcome back! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Hi Ross!", "summary": "Phoebe is having a heart attack and Jack tries to calm her down before calling 911. A woman enters and greets Phoebe, who has just been fired from her job. Rachel enters and greets Ross, but Phoebe remains unconscious after her heart attack."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey Rachel. Rachel Green : Is Joey Tribbiani here? Ross Geller : Umm, no. Rachel Green : Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that I'm looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up! Ross Geller : That-that's always good news. Are you okay? Rachel Green : Me? I'm great! I'm fine! I'm sooo good!! But, you know who's not great?! Men! You're a man right Ross?! Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Sit down! Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you we're going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbor's dog walker?!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about Joey, with Ross indicating he is not there. Rachel then expresses frustration towards men, asking if wedding vows mean anything to them and why they always cheat when she tells them she's going out of town."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : We're sorry. Rachel Green : No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage? Ross Geller : Didn't you spend last night at Joey's? Rachel Green : Aw what are you?! A detective? Ross Geller : Look I-I don't know what's going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym! Rachel Green : Who are these men? Ross Geller : Men. I guy I know. Rachel Green : Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is gay.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss the sanctity of marriage after discovering that Rachel spent the night at Joey's. Ross expresses his disappointment and reveals that he knows a man who will do whatever it takes to make his marriage work, despite witnessing his wife engage in a threesome with a woman she met at the gym."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : She is not... She's gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I can't believe this. Rachel Green : Good day for married people huh? Ross Geller : I'm sorry your husband cheated on you. Rachel Green : I'm sorry your wife is gay. I guess women aren't that great either. Ross Geller : Try telling my wife that. Chandler Bing : Okay to come in? Monica Geller : Yeah, come on, eat, whatever you want. Dr. Roger got beeped again. Chandler Bing : Yeah I know, guess who beeped him? Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : I'm the ruptured spleen.", "summary": "Ross discovers his wife's sexuality, Rachel's husband cheated on her, and Chandler accidentally beeped Dr. Roger again."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why would you do that? Chandler Bing : Because you shouldn't be with him. You should be with me. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they don't just happen. Y'know? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning y'know I was just lying there and I couldn't wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always y'know with a friend. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : I know you probably don't want to go out with me, y'know because I make too many jokes and I've never been in a serious relationship and I guess I'm not technically a \"doctor...\" Monica Geller : There was just one woman, wasn't there? Chandler Bing : No, there were two. Monica Geller : Including me? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss their feelings for each other, with Chandler revealing that he has been in love with her since they met and that he was jealous of her relationship with Roger. Monica confesses that there was another woman, and the two share a moment of intimacy before ending the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see.../One of them won't do it, but the second one will set you free.../Tell all your hate and anger, it's time to say good-bye.../And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die!/La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la...... Ross Geller : Hey, remember when I had a monkey? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Yeah, what, what was I thinking? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So, what's with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong? Chandler Bing : Twenty percent is a pretty generous tip Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what's more generous than that?! Fifty percent! Y'know what's even more generous than that?!! Chandler Bing : I see where you're goin'! Ross Geller : What's up with the greed Joe? Joey Tribbiani : All right, look I'm sorry you guys, but it's just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And they're really expensive, y'know? I'm down to like three! Well, actually two 'cause one of 'em I kinda blackened in some teeth-Why did I do that?!", "summary": "Two heart attacks lead to realization and goodbyes. Monkey memories are revisited. Tip percentages are debated. New headshots are needed."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well isn't there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, can't-can't you pick up, I don't know, an extra shift here? Phoebe Buffay : Or, y'know, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if you've got y'know a little of this goin' on. Wow! I still have it! Ross Geller : Oh, wait! Wait! Don't you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe you'll get that job! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time! Chandler Bing : Ah, finally an explanation. Joey Tribbiani : No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Let's see uh, well I don't want to donate sperm again. I really prefer doing that at the home office y'know? Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh? Gunther : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Gunther : What did I tell you about talking to your friends while you're working? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh do it?", "summary": "Ross suggests Phoebe pick up an extra shift at work, but she reveals she used to beg for money. Joey mentions he used to receive medical experiments, and Chandler finally understands why. Gunther scolds Joey for talking while working."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : That guy has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! He's complained about you three times! Joey Tribbiani : Well, where was I? Ross Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, what have you guys been up to? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! We went to a self-defense class today! Ross Geller : Wow! Rachel Green : Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of ya! Joey Tribbiani : Takes it out of you? Phoebe Buffay : Now, we can kick anybody's ass!", "summary": "The group complains about someone waiting for their coffee for ten minutes and has been bothering them three times. They then discuss a self-defense class they took and brag about being able to kick someone in the crotch."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : After one class? I don't think so. Rachel Green : What? You wanna see me self-defend myself?! Go over there and pretend you're a sexual predator! Go on! I dare ya!! Ross Geller : Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, that's not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and there's a concept you should really be familiar with. It's what the Japanese call unagi. Rachel Green : Isn't that a kind of sushi? Ross Geller : No, it's a concept! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah it is! It is! It's freshwater eel! Ross Geller : All right, maybe it means that too... Rachel Green : Ohh! I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now! Ross Geller : Y'know what? Fine! Get attacked! I don't even care!", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Rachel to defend herself against an imaginary attacker, but she refuses. Meanwhile, Phoebe interrupts and correctly identifies \"unagi\" as both a type of sushi and a Japanese concept."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Come on Ross. We're sorry. Please tell us what it is. Ross Geller : Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you! Phoebe Buffay : You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish? Ross Geller : All I'm saying is, it's one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I don't know, like a surprise!! Ross Geller : All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesn't mean you have unagi. Rachel Green : Ooh! Y'know what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour. Ross Geller : Y'know what... Chandler Bing : Hey-hey, is Monica here? Phoebe Buffay : No. Ross Geller : No.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss Unagi, a state of total awareness, while Rachel makes reservations for unagi at a restaurant."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, look I need your help, I don't know what to get her for Valentine's Day. Rachel Green : Well, Valentine's Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldn't get her a calendar! Chandler Bing : She was working on Valentine's Day so we're celebrating it tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, hey! Why don't you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, Joey, that's actually a really good idea! Joey Tribbiani : And of course, crotchless panties. Chandler Bing : Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend and her brother, I can't do that we promised we'd make each other gifts this year. Rachel Green : Aw, I love that. Phoebe Buffay : You guys! Joey Tribbiani : You can't make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut...", "summary": "Chandler wants to get Rachel a Valentine's Day gift but it's too late. They decide to celebrate tonight instead. Joey suggests booking a romantic spa date for both of them, while Phoebe jokes about crotchless panties. Chandler explains that they promised each other they would make gifts this year, and Rachel expresses her love for the tradition."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay-okay-okay! So, making things. That sounds like so much fun. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I love paper mache! What did you make? Chandler Bing : I made a... Phoebe Buffay : What is that? Chandler Bing : Nothing! Ross Geller : So what are you gonna do? Chandler Bing : Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! Oh for crying out loud! Rachel Green : Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!", "summary": "Chandler Bing attempts to make something but ends up injuring himself. Phoebe Buffay loves paper mache and makes various creations. When Chandler asks if he can take credit for her work, she reveals that she has made sock bunnies. Rachel Green becomes upset when she realizes that one of her socks is being used for a sock bunny."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Now, it's you little bunny friend. Chandler Bing : This, this actually is a... Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentine's Day gifts? Monica Geller : Oh, yeah. Chandler Bing : Do we have to make the entire thing? Monica Geller : Yes! Why, did you-you forget to make yours? Chandler Bing : Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up. Monica Geller : Okay. Okay, I can't wait! This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever! I can't believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents! Chandler Bing : What?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica discuss Valentine's Day gifts, with Chandler expressing uncertainty about making them. Monica is excited and encourages him to make the presents, which leads to a humorous exchange between the two friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm just so excited to make the presents! Shoot! Joey Tribbiani : Hi uh, I'm Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect I'd like to donate some fluids. Receptionist : We're actually at the end of one of our research cycles, so we're not looking for applicants right now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's too bad. I've kinda been saving up. Uh, are you sure there's no studies I can participate in? Receptionist : Well, here's a schedule of what's coming up. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Well but this one starts now. Receptionist : Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. It's a twins study. Joey Tribbiani : But it's $2,000. Receptionist : Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.", "summary": "Monica Geller is excited to make presents, but Joey Tribbiani wants to donate \"fluids\" and later discovers a study on the effects of his presence on attractive nurse receptionists, but it's only available for identical twins and costs $2,000."}
-{"dialogues": "Receptionist : We already got the results back on that on, and they're not good. Ross Geller : DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Ross!!! Rachel Green : What the hell was that?! Ross Geller : A lesson in the importance of unagi. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, you're a freak!! Ross Geller : Perhaps. Now I'm curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass? Rachel Green : All right, so we weren't prepared! Ross Geller : I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but I-look, I just want you guys to be safe. DANGER!!!!! Ahhh, huh? Unagi. Joey Tribbiani : 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me?", "summary": "The friends receive bad news on a test result and Ross teaches them about the importance of unagi. Rachel screams in surprise, and Ross threatens to fight her. Phoebe teases him, and Joey asks where he could find a lookalike for $2000."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Chandler. I sensed it was you. Chandler Bing : What?! Ross Geller : Unagi. I'm always aware. Chandler Bing : Okay, are you aware unagi is an eel? Ross Geller : What's up? Chandler Bing : I can't figure out what to make Monica. Ross Geller : Oh, why don't you make her one of your little jokes. Chandler Bing : I'm going crazy! Okay? Do you have any thing around here that looks homemade? Ross Geller : Y'know what? She'd-she'd love this. Uh, it's an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.", "summary": "Chandler and Ross have a conversation about Unagi, a type of eel, before Chandler mentions that he is struggling to come up with a gift for Monica. Ross suggests making something homemade, and reveals that he has created an exact replica of Apollo 8 in sixth grade."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon. Ross Geller : Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didn't actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, I can't give this to her. Ross Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because it says \"Captain Ross\" on the side and \"I hate Monica\" on the bottom. Ross Geller : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : DANGER!!!!! Rachel Green : Ahhhhh, salmon skin roll. Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay. Yes honey, I made it myself. I can't do it. I can't do it. Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! Chandler Bing : Hey! Hi! You uh, ready to exchange gifts?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over a mixed tape, while Phoebe warns Rachel about a potential danger."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Sure! Okay, you go first. Chandler Bing : Okay, come here! Come here. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Now, it's not wrapped because I just, just finished it. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs. Monica Geller : Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?! Chandler Bing : Maybe we'll have to listen and see! Monica Geller : Oh, I love it! Thank you so much! Chandler Bing : Okay!", "summary": "Monica gives Chandler a tape of romantic songs, and he made it for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, you ready to open yours? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : It's a sock bunny. Monica Geller : Yeah-yeah, you remember how I call you bunny? Chandler Bing : Not really. Monica Geller : Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See that's what this is about. Chandler Bing : I see. Y'know umm, Phoebe makes sock bunnies. Monica Geller : No! No, she doesn't. Uh Phoebe, what she makes-that's uh-they're sock rabbits. They are completely different-Okay! Okay! Okay! I didn't make it! I'm sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that we're supposed to make the presents! Chandler Bing : Oh, it's okay. I don't...", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss making Christmas gifts, with Monica bringing up a past incident where she called Chandler \"bunny.\" Chandler clarifies that Phoebe makes \"sock bunnies,\" not rabbits. Monica quickly backtracks and forgets about the gift-making plan."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No-no, it's not okay! It's not! I mean you were just... You're so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Y'know I'm just gonna-I, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here , and I am going to do anything you want in there! Chandler Bing : Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. Chandler Bing : Wow! You are way to young to have seen that! Monica Geller : Oops! Y'know, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too? Chandler Bing : You are totally and completely 100% forgiven. Monica Geller : We have got to wash that! Chandler Bing : Yeah! Monica Geller : Do you remember that jacket that you love so much, that you thought was too expensive? Chandler Bing : You have done enough! Monica Geller : I wanna wake up early and go get it for you!", "summary": "Monica makes a tape for Chandler's birthday, but accidentally shows him an old video of himself as a child. Chandler reveals that he put a lot of thought into the tape, and Monica forgives him for forgetting his birthday. They discuss their past mistakes and make amends, with Monica offering to buy Chandler a new present and Chandler agreeing to forget about the mistake."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No you don't-get it in black, not brown. Monica Geller : Oop, your cake is ready! Chandler Bing : Oop! Chandler Bing : Well, it's like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake. Joey's Look-A-Like : Hey Mon! Hey Chann! Just gettin' a soda! Monica Geller : Who the hell are you?! Joey's Look-A-Like : I'm Joey! How are you doin'?! Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! No! No! How you doin'?! How you doin'-Damnit Carl! Go wait in the hall! Joey Tribbiani : Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl. Chandler Bing : Who the hell is Carl?!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group gathers for a cake-making session, with Chandler insisting on a specific color. Joey's doppelganger appears and causes confusion, leading to a series of misadventures."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project. Chandler Bing : Y'know sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, aren't they? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Y'know? The only problem is, Carl's acting is... Monica Geller : The only problem! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's the reason I didn't get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up. Carl (Joey's lookalike) : Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake? Joey Tribbiani : Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! Phoebe Buffay : Pat Sajak? Rachel Green : Yep! Phoebe Buffay : Alex Trebek?", "summary": "Joey hired a lookalike (Carl) to be his twin for a medical research project. However, Carl's acting skills are subpar, leading Joey to miss out on a big commercial opportunity they were supposed to appear in together."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, of course! Phoebe Buffay : Chuck Woolery? Rachel Green : Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, who's ass I cannot kick. Rachel Green : Say it! Phoebe Buffay : Say we are unagi! Ross Geller : It's not something you are! It's something you have! Rachel Green : Say it! Ross Geller : Y'know what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt! Joey Tribbiani : All right Carl, we're next. Now remember, what is not gonna be? Carl (Joey's lookalike) : Another Minute Maid fiasco.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss their martial arts skills and who they would choose to fight in a game show host, while Ross argues that being funny is not something you are, but rather something you have. Joey and Carl get ready for their turn on the game show."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That's right! And what are you not gonna do? Carl (Joey's lookalike) : Well, I'm not gonna talk because... Joey Tribbiani : Damnit Carl! The Doctor : Can I have the next one please? Joey and Tony Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : That's us. The Doctor : But uh, this is a study for identical twins. Joey Tribbiani : That's right, $2,000. The Doctor : But, you're not identical twins. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit Carl! Chandler Bing : Oh my good God.", "summary": "Joey and Tony Tribbiani are mistaken for identical twins in a study, leading to confusion and hilarity."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Continuing the countdown of your favorite meals. Tonight, No. 3, macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs. Chandler Bing : Look, you have done enough! Okay? You have to stop this now. Monica Geller : I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me. Chandler Bing : Oh, the mixed tape. Monica Geller : The Way You Look Tonight is on here! Dance with me? Monica Geller : You are just the sweetest. Janice Litman Goralnik : I love the way you look every night Chandler! That's why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice! Chandler Bing : No! You're the sweetest! The Instructor : Okay ladies, that ends today's class, and let's remember, let's be safe out there. Ross Geller : It's a great class.", "summary": "Monica makes a list of her favorite meals and Chandler stops her, saying she has done enough. They decide to listen to a mixed tape made by Janice for Chandler's birthday instead."}
-{"dialogues": "The Instructor : Thanks. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, I was watching. Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next? The Instructor : Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them... Ross Geller : No. No-no. No. What would you do next? The Instructor : Who? Me the attacker? Ross Geller : Yes that's right. The Instructor : Why? Ross Geller : I tired attacking two women, did not work. The Instructor : What?! Ross Geller : No, I mean it's okay, I mean, they're-they're my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.", "summary": "The instructor and Ross Geller discuss a hypothetical situation where Ross is attacked by two women. The instructor suggests that Ross should defend himself, but Ross insists that he would not attack his friends."}
-{"dialogues": "The Instructor : Let me get this straight man, you attacked your ex-wife?! Ross Geller : Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldn't. That's why I'm here. Maybe we could attack them together? That-that's a no. Chandler Bing : I am so, so, so, so sorry! Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : And I will cook anything you want in here , and do anything in there! Monica Geller : Yeah you will! And, are you kiddin' me?! Chandler Bing : Come on Monica, it's our Valentine's Day. Please? Please-please, please? Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Janice's Voice : My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!", "summary": "Ross attacks his ex-wife, but then tries to make amends by suggesting they attack their mutual enemy together. Chandler apologizes for not being there for Monica on Valentine's Day and offers to cook or do anything else she wants in return for her forgiveness. Monica agrees to forgive him, and they spend the evening together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So, are we going in there? Monica Geller : I am!! Janice's Voice : You're look for laughable... Ross Geller : Ah-ha, nowhere to run! Rachel Green : I don't like sitting up here! I'm just gonna over... Phoebe Buffay : No Rachel! They got here first! Phoebe Buffay : Why is Ross doing that? Ross Geller : DANGER!!!! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Why is he jumping on those women! Phoebe Buffay : We should help him!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel get stuck in a dangerous situation with some hostile women, while Monica and Chandler try to help them. Meanwhile, Janice and Phoebe provide comedic relief by mocking Ross's attempts to escape."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I... Well, I don't think they need any help. Ross Geller : Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, \"I loved Dr. Geller's class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!\" Chandler Bing : Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, there's a big selling calendar, eh? Rachel Green : Who wrote it? Ross Geller : Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, do you still have their final exams? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, 'cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, there's your admirer. Chandler Bing : A hot girl's at stake and all of the sudden he's Rain Man. Rachel Green : Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl?", "summary": "Ross receives glowing evaluations from his students, including one that labels him as \"the hottie of the paleontology department.\" Chandler jokes about creating a calendar featuring the admirer, but Ross is determined to find out who wrote the evaluation. Joey suggests matching the handwriting on the exam with the evaluation, but Rachel remains skeptical that it's a girl."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's a girl! Anyway, it wou-it wouldn't matter. Okay? Because I'm a teacher and she's a student. Chandler Bing : Oh, is that against the rules? Ross Geller : No, but it is frowned upon. Chandler Bing : I see. Ross Geller : Besides, there's a big age difference. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well think of it like this, when you're 90... Ross Geller : I know when I'm 90 she'll be like 80 and it won't seem like such a big difference. Joey Tribbiani : No that's not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when you're 90 you'll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler! Y'know that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss his relationship with a student, while Joey brings up memories of past relationships."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What's a Movement class? Monica Geller : It's Chandler's way of pretending he didn't take mime. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well listen, anyway she's directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition! Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't know man. I haven't talked to her in like ten years. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much! Chandler Bing : You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred... Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what? Chandler Bing : Oh okay, I'll-I'll try. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Thanks! You're the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday? Chandler Bing : Yeah so, Tuesday?", "summary": "Monica introduces a movement class to help people express themselves, but Chandler has an issue with it since he previously took a mime class and never spoke again. Joey wants to audition for Al Pacino's new movie, but Chandler doesn't want to make the call. The conversation shifts between remembering Thursday (the last day of auditions) and Tuesday (an unrelated topic)."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?! Chandler Bing : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Hey Mon? I'm gonna check my messages. Chandler Bing : You just thought of that in there? Monica Geller : Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did. Rachel Green : Hello? Uh, Rachel. Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops! Monica Geller : You're on the phone! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! How bad was it?", "summary": "Plot Summary: A fire breaks out at the group's apartment on Thursday, the third day of the week."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, he didn't say, but it was a fire. I'm guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go! Monica Geller : Come on! Chandler Bing : What are you smiling about? What is so funny? Joey Tribbiani : The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be! Burt : Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! Elizabeth Stevens : Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Yeah? Elizabeth Stevens : I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class. Ross Geller : Oh thank you. Thanks very much. Ow! Elizabeth Stevens : Uh, I'm a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation...", "summary": "A fire breaks out at a school, and Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Burt try to evacuate. Meanwhile, Elizabeth compliments Ross on his teaching and gives him an embarrassing nickname."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That was you? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. You're a teacher. I'm a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime? Ross Geller : Oh I, I don't-I don't think that would be the best idea. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh, because I was thinking, the semester's over; you're not my teacher anymore. Ross Geller : What time? Elizabeth Stevens : Oh, y'know what? Forget it, you already gave me an A. Ross Geller : Gotcha. Elizabeth Stevens : I'm kidding! Ross Geller : Oh! So-so seriously, what time? Phoebe Buffay : Coming through! Oh! Coming through! Oh! Hello! Hi! No! Right! Coming through!", "summary": "Elizabeth asks Ross out on a date after he gave her an A on a paper. Ross declines and they continue to banter back and forth before Phoebe interrupts."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh well, it's not so bad. Fireman #1 : Yeah, most of the damage is pretty mostly contained in the bedrooms. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Rachel Green : My God! Joey Tribbiani : Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday? Fireman #1 : Excuse me? Monica Geller : Joey! He's working! You would look good in that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, how bad is it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's bad. It's really bad. The only thing in there that isn't burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying! Chandler Bing : How's your room Rach?", "summary": "The fire has mostly damaged the bedrooms, with one room left untouched due to a mysterious item inside. Joey wants to borrow a fireman's uniform for Thursday, but Monica and Phoebe are distracted by the damage. Rachel reveals that her room is also affected, while Chandler asks about the condition of another room."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Everything's ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. Monica Geller : Isn't that mine? Rachel Green : Fine! I'm sorry for your loss! Fireman #1 : So uh, you're not gonna be able to live here for a while, you ladies have a place to stay? Rachel Green : Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time. Monica Geller : Yes, they can stay with us. Chandler Bing : Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman? Fireman #1 : Well uh, do either of you smoke? Phoebe Buffay : No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now. Fireman #1 : No-no-no, do you uh light candles? Burn incense?", "summary": "Rachel destroys her apartment during a fire and is forced to stay with Monica and Chandler. A firefighter asks if either of them smoke or use any flammable substances that could have caused the fire."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! It's me! It's me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house! Rachel Green : Okay Phoebe calm down, there's no need to place blame. Okay? I warned her about those candles. Chandler Bing : God, it's great to catch up! I can't believe how long it's been! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, is that... Chandler Bing : Oh that's great! Good for you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey listen... Chandler Bing : Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm... Can you hold for one second please? What?! Joey Tribbiani : When you're off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza? Chandler Bing : Hi! I'm back. Yeah, that sounds great. Okay. Well, we'll do it then. Okay, bye-bye. Joey Tribbiani : Hey listen, so when's-when's my audition? I mean I know it's Thursday, but what time?", "summary": "Phoebe burned down the house while trying to impress Rachel. Chandler joins the conversation and they catch up, with Joey suggesting getting a pizza together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : We didn't get to the audition. I'm gonna take her to coffee and then we'll do it then. Joey Tribbiani : Ah-ha! Monica Geller : Wow! So, now you're going on a date with this girl? Chandler Bing : Honey, it is not a date! I haven't talked to her in ten years! You can't just call up somebody you haven't talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, y'know? You gotta, you got to put in some time. Monica Geller : You're right, I'm sorry. It's not like you're y'know, going out with an ex-girlfriend. Chandler Bing : No, we only went out once. Monica Geller : You dated her! Chandler Bing : Not once!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica didn't make it to the audition, so he takes her to coffee instead. Joey teases them about going on a date, but Chandler insists it's not a date since they haven't talked in ten years and there are rules to following up with someone after that long of a gap. Monica agrees, acknowledging that it's not like he's dating an ex-girlfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, well why don't I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. Chandler Bing : Oh that's great, my friend Joey's in the movie business. Dana Keystone : Y'know who I ran into from school? Howie. Chandler Bing : My friend's name is Joey. Dana Keystone : Apparently Howie's editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Y'know I-I-I haven't spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I've always hated that Howie. Dana Keystone : No, no \"How you doing?\" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first! Chandler Bing : The nerve huh? Dana Keystone : Yeah!", "summary": "Monica suggests going out with an ex-boyfriend to do Joey a favor, but Joey suggests she go out with him instead. Chandler mentions that his friend Joey is in the movie business. Dana runs into someone from school, Howie, who asks her to edit her new movie without even saying hello first."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Refill? Monica Geller : Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay? Rachel Green : Oh my God! It sure didn't look this way when I lived here. Monica Geller : I know! Now look, there's only one problem though. There's only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joey's. Phoebe Buffay : Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess you should get to stay here. Rachel Green : Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no one's fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident. Phoebe Buffay : Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room. Rachel Green : Okay! Monica Geller : So Rach! You're the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, you'll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, y'know, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much. Rachel Green : I have.", "summary": "Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are cleaning up after a fire at Monica's apartment. They discuss who will stay at Joey's, with Phoebe offering to let Rachel stay there since it was her fault the fire started. Monica decides to offer Rachel the \"nicest\" room in her apartment as a way of apologizing for the mess."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : This right here is where I keep the pizza. And uh that's where the napkin is. Phoebe Buffay : What's that smell? Joey Tribbiani : I know! Elizabeth Stevens : Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me! Ross Geller : What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson. Elizabeth Stevens : Who? Ross Geller : Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyone's name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh yeah. So umm, did you have a nickname for me? Ross Geller : Umm, no. No. Elizabeth Stevens : Yes you did! What was it?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey keeps pizza and napkin in his room, Phoebe notices bad smell, Ross pretends to forget names of classmates, Elizabeth reveals she sat next to \"Sleepy Sleeperson\", Ross creates nicknames for them, including \"Smelly von Brownshirt\" for Elizabeth."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Umm, it's Cutie McPretty. Elizabeth Stevens : Ohh that's so sweet! Ross Geller : Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-I'm having a great time! Y'know how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but it's not. I mean it's not at all. Burt : Dr. Geller! Ross Geller : Burt! Phoebe Buffay : So did you sleep well last night? Rachel Green : I did. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what Joey left on my pillow?", "summary": "Ross and Elizabeth flirt, despite him being her teacher; Burt interrupts; Phoebe and Rachel discuss sleep and mints; Joey leaves a surprise on Phoebe's pillow."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Gum! Fireman #2 : Well, we determined the cause of the fire. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle! Fireman #2 : No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. It's looks like a curling iron. Phoebe Buffay : I don't use a curling iron. Fireman #2 : Well someone does. Rachel Green : Well, don't look at me! My hair's straight! Straight! Straight! Straight! Fireman #2 : It could've been a hair straightener. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "The cause of the fire is determined to be an appliance left on in the bathroom, but it's not Phoebe's candle or Rachel's hair straightener."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : This is where I keep the pizza. And-Hey! Where did the napkin go?! Monica Geller : Now there you go! I wouldn't want my best guest to strain her eyes! Phoebe Buffay : Thanks Monica! Monica Geller : Does that smell bother you? Phoebe Buffay : What the smell from Joey's? No, I can hardly smell it over here. Monica Geller : Well you let me know if you can, because y'know I can bake a pie to cover it. Phoebe Buffay : I can smell it a little, bake the pie. Monica Geller : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Hello? Oh yes, one minute please. It's for you. It's the fire inspector.", "summary": "Pizza and napkins are important to Joey. Monica covers her eyes. Phoebe can smell something. Monica offers to bake a pie to cover it. The fire inspector calls."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Hello? Yeah this is Phoebe. Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so it turns out that it wasn't the hair straightener that started the fire. No-no, it was the candles. It's very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is... Uhh... Uhh... Okay. Well, I have to go now. Ross Geller : We had such a great time! She's-she's incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasn't. It wasn't at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. A concept lost on some people! Monica Geller : So it's okay to date a student. Ross Geller : Well, not really. I mean technically it's-it's not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou. Monica Geller : Well Ross, you be careful now. You don't want to get a reputation as y'know Professor McNailshisstudents. Ross Geller : Yeah. What-what should I do? Joey Tribbiani : Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean what's more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart. Monica Geller : Joey that is so sweet. Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "The group discovers that the fire was not caused by the hair straightener, but rather the candles left unattended. Ross struggles with his feelings for Elizabeth, who is much older than him and faces criticism from Monica and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey! So, how did it go with Dana? Any reason I should leave a block of time open say Thursday? Chandler Bing : I couldn't do it. Joey Tribbiani : You couldn't do it?! Chandler Bing : Hey, relax I just need more time. We're going to dinner tonight. Monica Geller : What?! You're going out with her again! Ross Geller : Going out with who? Chandler Bing : Uh, Dana Keystone from college. Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Wasn't she uh... Chandler Bing : No, that was Dana Caplin. The Guys : Ohhhh!", "summary": "Dana (from college) and Chandler are going out for dinner. Joey wants to know if he should schedule time Thursday. Chandler says he needs more time."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey! You didn't even know her! Joey Tribbiani : Ah whatever! Chandler Bing : Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo! Dana Keystone : Y'know uh, actually I-I-I should get going. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no! Stay! Stay! Because you-you should you-you-you should stay! Dana Keystone : Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I don't feel that way about you. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, that's not-No-no-no! Dana Keystone : I'm sorry Chandler, y'know you are such a sweet guy and I, I don't want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better. Chandler Bing : No-no-Really?! Dana Keystone : Of course!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler tries to persuade Dana to stay and hang out with him, but she declines and expresses her lack of romantic feelings for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh... Dana Keystone : Ohh, I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Well maybe there is one thing you can do. Dana Keystone : What?! Anything! Anything! Chandler Bing : Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday? Dana Keystone : Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie? Chandler Bing : Well, the heart wants what it wants. I'll see you later. Monica Geller : Hey! How's it goin'? Phoebe Buffay : Well, not much has changed in the last five minutes. Monica Geller : Yes it has! I made cookies!", "summary": "Chandler Bing seeks help from his actor friend to get an audition for Dana Keystone's movie, despite Dana's initial rejection of him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's all right. I'm still full from your homemade potato chips. Monica Geller : But you should eat them now because they're hot from the oven. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh-ho! But not in here! Can't eat 'em in bed, remember? No crumbies! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'll be out in a second. Monica Geller : Okay! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : That doesn't lock does it? Rachel Green : Oh, Joey! Sorry! Joey Tribbiani : No that's all right. Don't worry about it.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica are in a kitchen, with Phoebe having just eaten homemade potato chips. Monica suggests that Phoebe eat them while they are still hot, but Phoebe declines and says she will go outside to finish eating them. Joey enters the room and accidentally knocks over a lock, causing Monica to worry about crumbs getting everywhere."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh but look! That's gonna leave a stain! Joey Tribbiani : Rach! Hey! It's fine! You're at Joey's! Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Look! Rachel Green : I've never lived like this before. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Joey Tribbiani : All right, don't waste it, I mean its still food. Ross Geller : What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink? Elizabeth Stevens : Uhh, I can't. Ross Geller : Oh, you have some studying to do?", "summary": "Rachel spills something on Joey's couch and he convinces her not to worry about it. They are at his apartment. Rachel has never lived with a roommate before. Ross suggests going out for drinks but Elizabeth has work to do."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : No, I have some turning 21 to do. Ross Geller : Y'know I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to... Elizabeth Stevens : What are you doing? Ross Geller : Nothing, I'm-I'm just, I'm so comfortable with you! Elizabeth Stevens : Do you not want to be seen with me? Ross Geller : What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone? Elizabeth Stevens : Uh no, they're still here but I think I'm about to leave. Ross Geller : What?! No! No! Wait! You're right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? There's nothing wrong with that. Come on. Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth. Elizabeth Stevens : Hi! Lydia : Aren't you in my Popular Culture class?", "summary": "Ross and Elizabeth have a conversation about their age difference and being seen together. Ross becomes anxious and tries to change the subject, but Elizabeth leaves before he can do so."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, we're dating. And you may frown upon that, but we're not gonna hide it anymore. Mel : You are so fired. Ross Geller : What? Burt : They're gonna fire you! You can't date a student! It's against the rules. Ross Geller : Really? Its not just frowned upon? Rachel Green : I love it at Joey's! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, here you go. Chandler Bing : Ni-hi-ice! Rachel Green : Thanks! Chandler Bing : So, you busy Thursday?", "summary": "Ross dates a student, Lydia, and reveals it to his colleagues, who threaten to fire him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, very funny. I don't know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. You got me the audition?! Let's hug it up! Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay. What are you gonna do to me if you get the part? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you! Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think I'm partly at fault. You see, I didn't, I didn't tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so y'know let's just face it, that's just kindling! So I think it's better that I stay at Joey's. Rachel Green : No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides y'know what? I'm fine here. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you. Chandler Bing : Really?", "summary": "Joey auditions for a part but can't remember if he got it; Phoebe admits to starting the fire at Central Perk with a hair straightener and decides to stay with Joey instead of going home."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah she said something about crumbies. Chandler Bing : No! No! No! I was so careful! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy! Joey Tribbiani : That's right, all the ladies want to stay at Joey's. Rachel Green : No! No! Phoebe, come on! I don't want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here! Phoebe Buffay : No but at Monica's you can eat cookies over the sink! Rachel Green : I know. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : All right fine! This looks like so much fun. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : God, what a mess.", "summary": "Monica is driving Phoebe crazy, and Phoebe wants to switch houses with Rachel. Chandler was careful but still got crumbs on his clothes. Joey wants all the ladies to stay at his place."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I can't date you or have a hot plate in my office. I can't believe we have to stop seeing each other. Elizabeth Stevens : For what it's worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more. Ross Geller : I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we can't date. It's against the rules. It's forbidden. Elizabeth Stevens : Wow! Ross Geller : What? Elizabeth Stevens : Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, it's really hot. Ross Geller : Really? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah. Ross Geller : Well I-I-I don't care how hot it is it's-it's uh, it's wrong. Elizabeth Stevens : Stop it!", "summary": "Ross and Elizabeth are not allowed to date each other due to company policies. Despite this, they continue to see each other in secret and find themselves drawn to each other despite the risks."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No! No! It's wrong! It's-it's-it's naughty. It's taboo. Elizabeth Stevens : Shut the book! Ross Geller : Let's also get a hot plate! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : So?! Joey Tribbiani : So? Chandler Bing : It's Thursday! How was the audition?! Joey Tribbiani : Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs- Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! Ah-ah!! Damn fridge!", "summary": "Ross and Elizabeth are discussing a controversial book, while Chandler and Joey enter the room and interrupt their conversation. They chat briefly before Joey mentions an audition he had on Thursday."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi Joey, how ya doin'? Joey Tribbiani : Great! Roomie! Rachel Green : Huh, yeah I guess we are roommates now. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot. Rachel Green : I'm not paying for half of that! I'm only staying here until my apartment gets fixed. Joey Tribbiani : Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya'? Rachel Green : That refrigerators don't live as long as people. Joey Tribbiani : All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, I'll take a check for the other hundred. Rachel Green : You're jokin' right? Joey Tribbiani : Of course I'm jokin'! I don't take checks.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey are roommates after her apartment is damaged. They need to purchase a new fridge, but they can only afford $400 of the $800 total cost. Joey suggests Rachel pay for half, but she refuses. The conversation escalates with Joey joking about taking a check for the remaining amount and Rachel not finding it funny."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Thank God you're pretty. Rachel Green : Hey! #ALL# : Hi! Hey! Rachel Green : Do you guys know any cute guys? Chandler Bing : Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you Chandler. Rachel Green : Anyway, there's this big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table, so I kinda have to go... Monica Geller : What's the charity? Rachel Green : I don't know, something either trees or disease-Ralph mumbles a lot. Monica Geller : Does Ralph mumble when you're not paying attention?", "summary": "Rachel wants to attend a charity ball, but doesn't know much about the cause. Chandler introduces her to his friend Joey, who is also attending the event. Monica asks Rachel if Ralph Lauren has said anything notable, and Rachel struggles to pay attention to Ralph's mumbling."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah! It's weird. But the thing is need to find a date. Phoebe Buffay : Well, what kind of guy are you looking for? Rachel Green : Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux. Chandler Bing : So he has to be a male who has at least $50. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! So close. Ross Geller : Hey everybody! #ALL# : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey uh, this is Elizabeth. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh hi! #ALL# : Hi!", "summary": "Rachel wants to find a tuxedo-clad date for an event, but has specific requirements (owning or being able to rent a tux). Chandler and Joey contribute with their own criteria (male and $50). Ross interrupts the conversation with a new introduction."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : I'm the student. Chandler Bing : Isn't she cute? No! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, this is probably none of my business, but weren't you guys supposed to not be seen in public together? Elizabeth Stevens : Oh, we're not together. Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no, we're just two people who happen to run into each other here at the coffee house. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, sly. Elizabeth Stevens : Well, I really wanted to meet you guys, but I have to run. I'll see you later? #ALL# : Okay! Elizabeth Stevens : Bye Ross. Ross Geller : Bye.", "summary": "Elizabeth meets Chandler and Phoebe at a coffee shop, and they all talk. It's revealed that Elizabeth wants to meet the gang, but has to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : Oops! I did not mean to run into you like that sir. Ross Geller : Oh that is quite all right ma'am. Chandler Bing : So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do? Ross Geller : Yes, her molecular epidemiology paper is due tomorrow. Chandler Bing : Oh, tell her good luck with that. Ross Geller : Anyone else? Huh? Bring 'em on! Rachel Green : Oo! When's her birthday?! Ross Geller : I don't know Rachel, why? Rachel Green : Well, y'know it's just been so long since I've been to Chuckie Cheese. Monica Geller : Oh, I like Elizabeth.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss a woman named Elizabeth who is leaving, while Rachel asks when Elizabeth's birthday is. Monica expresses her liking for Elizabeth."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well thanks! Monica Geller : Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Y'know, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, how's it going with her? Ross Geller : Well, actually it's been great. She's 20 so she's not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now. Monica Geller : Well that is great. And seriously, she seems very nice. Ross Geller : Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12? Monica Geller : Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Do we have any Fruit Roll-Ups? Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "Ross meets a new girl and tells his friends, who give him a hard time but are secretly happy for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing. Chandler Bing : Oh that's so funny because we found someone too. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's good, I guess she'll have a choice between my guy and your weirdo. Chandler Bing : Why would our guy be a weirdo? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause that's just your taste. Monica Geller : Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these", "summary": "Rachel will choose between two potential dates, one suggested by Monica and one by Phoebe. The two men are vastly different, with one being a lawyer with volunteer work and the other being perceived as \"weird.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : A face ass? Phoebe Buffay : A chin dimple! Monica Geller : Well, uh y'know, our guy works with Chandler and he's really nice and smart and he's a great dresser! Phoebe Buffay : Have you seen your guy's body? Chandler Bing : No, our guy is just a floating head. Phoebe Buffay : Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? He's a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it. Monica Geller : You're not supposed to look! Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, like there are police for that! Chandler Bing : Wait! You look? You-you massaged me. Phoebe Buffay : I know.", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe discuss their respective \"guys\" (boyfriends), with Monica chiming in. Chandler's guy is a floating head, while Phoebe's guy has a spectacular body. They briefly touch on the topic of massages, with Phoebe revealing that she has looked at her guy's body during a session."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right fine, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Chandler funny? Monica Geller : Our guy's a great dancer! Phoebe Buffay : My guy is well read. Chandler Bing : Our guy has great hair. Phoebe Buffay : My guy has great teeth! Chandler Bing : Our guy smells incredible. Monica Geller : Do you want our guy to be your guy? Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Huh.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe argue over who's date is funnier (Chandler or Joey)."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, you...don't look good Joe. Joey Tribbiani : The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes-Hey, what was in that brown jar? Chandler Bing : That's still in there?! Joey Tribbiani : Not anymore. So anyway, how do you want to pay me? Chandler Bing : Is this a service you're providing me? Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! For my new fridge-our new fridge! Chandler Bing : Our new fridge? I don't live here anymore. Joey Tribbiani : So what? Look, suppose we were a divorced couple. Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani have a conversation about a broken fridge and eating everything in it, including cold cuts and ice cream. They also discuss payment for a new fridge, with Chandler wondering if they are still married and Joey suggesting they are divorced. Joey then brings up the hypothetical scenario of their child dying and him having to buy a new one."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay... Joey Tribbiani : Give me $400! Elizabeth Stevens : Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Hmm? Oh, a student I don't know. Elizabeth Stevens : I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment? Ross Geller : Yes, yes of course, what-what would this be regarding? Elizabeth Stevens : Making out in your office. Ross Geller : Shh! Of course, why don't we go inside? Ross Geller : Oh-ooh! Elizabeth Stevens : What?", "summary": "A student, Elizabeth, asks Professor Geller (Ross) for a moment to discuss making out in his office."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Doorknob! Doorknob! Elizabeth Stevens : Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you. Ross Geller : Oh, okay. What-what about? Elizabeth Stevens : Spring vacation. Ross Geller : Spring vacation. Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips... Professor Feesen : Professor Geller! Ross Geller : Yes, professor Feesen-sen-stenlger... I'll be with you in one moment. So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints. Ross Geller : You don't understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, I'm not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her? Chandler Bing : Just tell her the truth! Tell her you're not ready.", "summary": "Ross is startled by Elizabeth's sudden need to talk to him, but she quickly reveals that she wants to go on a trip with him during spring break. However, Ross is not interested and tries to brush her off."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I can do that. Oh-oh, what if she gets upset? Chandler Bing : Then you distract her with a Barbie doll. Joey Tribbiani : Or! You can just, y'know... Ross Geller : What the hell are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : What? What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge! Ross Geller : What?! What? How do you, how do you even know its broken?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho-ho, you think I don't know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! Well what do you know! Broken! That'll be $400! Chandler Bing : Joey, I saw you push him! Joey Tribbiani : You pushed him! Ross Geller : Joey, I did not break this! Okay? That has been broken for a while.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have an argument over a broken fridge, with Chandler attempting to intervene."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge? Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : I still haven't gotten a check for your half yet. Ross Geller : Do not give him any money! Joey Tribbiani : I'm not talking to you! You broke my fridge! Elizabeth Stevens : You wanted to see me Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Yes. Yes! Please, come in. Ross Geller : Oo-oo! Elizabeth Stevens : Doorknob? Ross Geller : Yeah, it kinda grows on you. Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss a shared fridge, with Joey still waiting for Chandler's half of the payment. Ross intervenes and Joey becomes angry, causing Elizabeth Stevens to enter the room. Ross then shifts the conversation to spring vacation plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : Oh good. Ross Geller : Look, I... Look, I'm having a great time with you and I just don't want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, I'm sorry I just don't think we should go away together yet. It's-it's too soon. Elizabeth Stevens : Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to Florida for a couple weeks. Ross Geller : No. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. What I meant was... Elizabeth Stevens : You are so adorable. Ross Geller : That! Let's talk about that. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?", "summary": "Ross and Elizabeth have a conversation about going away together, but he doesn't think it's too soon. They misunderstand each other and Elizabeth goes to Florida for a couple of weeks. When she returns, Ross is adorable and they talk about what he meant."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didn't want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that she's going to Florida for spring vacation. Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? Ross Geller : What's-what's the difference? Monica Geller : Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break you're doing frat guys. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what? Not all spring breaks are like that. Phoebe Buffay : What did you do on yours? Ross Geller : I went to Egypt with my dad. Chandler Bing : I can see it now, \"Look dad, it's the Sphinx!\" Ross Geller : Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, \"Spring break!\" All right? I mean she's taken my class! Monica Geller : And slept with the professor.", "summary": "Elizabeth goes to Florida for spring vacation, not spring break, and Ross misunderstands her intentions. Chandler and Monica clarify the difference between the two, while Phoebe shares her own spring break experience in Egypt with her father. Meanwhile, Elizabeth is seen as more serious than just wanting to have fun during spring break, as she has taken a class and slept with the professor."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm gonna call her. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Rachel Green : Hey! You guys umm, I want you to meet Sebastian. Sebastian : Hi. Rachel Green : We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. What? I read that. Sebastian : Can I get you a cup of coffee? Rachel Green : Oh yes! Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, what the hell is this?! Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own!", "summary": "Ross plans to call someone named Sebastian. Chandler agrees, while Rachel enters the room and mentions meeting him at a newsstand. They both grabbed for the last copy of Field & Stream, which Rachel had read. Sebastian greets them, and Rachel accepts his offer of coffee. Meanwhile, Phoebe questions Rachel's actions and accuses her of bringing her own guy to meet them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You found me a guy? Monica Geller : Yes! We found you a really cute and funny guy from Chandler's work! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo. Rachel Green : Well, y'know what though you guys? I really appreciate that but I think I'm just gonna take Sebastian to the charity. Chandler Bing : Are you sure?! Because our guy smells incredible! Monica Geller : Uh, would you stop it with that already?! Sebastian : Here you go. Rachel Green : Oh, thank you. Sebastian : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : So, Sebastian, do you do any volunteer work?", "summary": "Rachel meets two potential love interests through Monica and Phoebe, but ultimately decides to take one of them to a charity event instead of pursuing a relationship with either of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Sebastian : Uh, no not really. Why? Phoebe Buffay : No reason, it's just I know a single guy that cares about other people. Chandler Bing : Are you funny? Sebastian : Excuse me? Rachel Green : What are you guys doing? Monica Geller : Are you funny? Tell us a joke! Sebastian : Look, I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : Well, so do a lot of people. Sebastian : Actually, I uh, I gotta get going. Give me a call sometime. Rachel Green : Oh, but y'know, no, you didn't give me your phone number.", "summary": "Sebastian wants to have coffee with Rachel, but doesn't give her his phone number. Phoebe and Chandler try to be funny, while Monica asks Sebastian if he's funny."}
-{"dialogues": "Sebastian : Okay! See you later! Chandler Bing : Turns out he is kinda funny. Rachel Green : I cannot believe you guys! He was really nice and he left because of you! Chandler Bing : Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cat's name? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, y'know what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the kind of guy you'd like to take to a ball? \"Hey Sebastian, would you like to dance?\" \"Uhh, okay-I gotta go!\" Monica Geller : All right guys stop it. Rachel, we're very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And y'know what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! What have you got to lose? Y'know you might even end up with someone really special if you pick my guy. Rachel Green : All right. Chandler Bing : Okay, so you will meet our guys? Rachel Green : Yes, I'll meet 'em.", "summary": "Sebastian comes over and leaves due to Rachel's mean comments about him. The group apologizes and offers to introduce Rachel to two potential dates."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay now it doesn't matter which one you choose, y'know? It's completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! There you are! Okay, you broke my fridge; you owe me 400 bucks! Phoebe Buffay : Okay sure! Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, technically you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts on your last ten auditions. Joey Tribbiani : Call it even? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say? Ross Geller : Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girl's bodies, waking up next to people you don't even know... Joey Tribbiani : Man, she is going to have a great time! Is she staying at the Hotel Corona?", "summary": "Elizabeth is going to Daytona for spring break. Ross and Joey are excited about the potential for wet T-shirt contests and wild partying, while Chandler and Phoebe are less enthused."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You know the hotels? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! I was there! Spring Break '81! Woo-hoo! Monica Geller : In 1981 you were 13! Joey Tribbiani : So what? I drove down, sold T-shirts, had a blast. And y'know who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks. Ross Geller : Okay, she can't go. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, you can't tell her not to go. You just started dating. Ross Geller : Then what am I supposed to do? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, you just have to be cool with it. Ross Geller : Well, what is she goes down and-and sleeps with a bunch of guys? Chandler Bing : Well, maybe you don't marry this one.", "summary": "Hotels? Joey was there! Spring Break '81! Woo-hoo! 13-year-old Monica, though..."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm so glad you're going on this trip! Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah! I've been working so hard this semester. I really need to go crazy y'know, blow off some steam. Ross Geller : Sure. Sure. Look I don't, I don't know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam. Elizabeth Stevens : What? Ross Geller : Are you into crafts at all? Elizabeth Stevens : Ross, are you okay? Ross Geller : Well, yeah, of-of course I'm okay! What? I'm just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and what-what is uh, what's this? Elizabeth Stevens : It's a bathing suit? Ross Geller : To wear in front of people? Elizabeth Stevens : Is that supportive?", "summary": "Ross suggests Elizabeth go on a trip to blow off steam, but he immediately becomes uncomfortable when she mentions her plans. He awkwardly changes the subject and offers to help with crafts, which confuses Elizabeth."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Is this?! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Good-good-good-good. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : We're really glad you decided to meet our guy. Rachel Green : Oh... Monica Geller : You're gonna like him so much. So umm, when do you want to meet him? Rachel Green : I don't know. I know I don't work late tomorrow night.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are excited to introduce Rachel to their new guy, but Rachel is hesitant and unsure about meeting him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, y'know what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? Eldad come here! Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Eldad, this is Rachel. Eldad : How are you? Rachel Green : Well-well a little blind sided but y'know good. Chandler Bing : Eldad, sit down. Move over! Move over now! Rachel Green : I-Ohh! Chandler Bing : There you go! There you are! Monica Geller : Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! What are you doing here?! Phoebe Buffay : This is Patrick.", "summary": "Tomorrow night is good but why wait when you can do it now. Eldad arrives and meets Rachel, who is blind-sided but happy to see him. Chandler invites Eldad to sit down and move over, and Phoebe introduces Patrick."}
-{"dialogues": "Patrick : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi. Okay, you're too late okay? Because she's already with our guy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you're right! I am too late; they're sitting on the couch and talking! Come on! Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : This is Patrick. Rachel Green : Oh, hi. Patrick : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about. Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to what's underneath it.", "summary": "Phoebe tells Rachel that she met a guy and wants to bring him to the apartment to meet the gang. However, when they arrive, Phoebe finds out that he is already with another woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh-okay, but Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : I'm just sort of in the middle of something. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Okay! Yeah, that's okay. Have a seat. Monica Geller : No! You can't do that! Eldad : Maybe I should go! Monica Geller : Sit down! We're winning! Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? Maybe I should go! #ALL# : No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat! Monica Geller : Rachel! Rachel! You haven't touched Eldad's hair!", "summary": "Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay are in the middle of something, but Rachel is interrupted by Monica Geller who is upset about something related to Eldad."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It is the softest hair! Touch it! Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm good. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Patrick is really rich. Give her some money. Patrick : Y'know what Phoebe? This isn't really worth the free massage. Monica Geller : That's right Patrick, bye-bye! Chandler Bing : Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! You dance for Rachel! Rachel Green : No-no! Don't dance for me! Please? Don't! What is the matter with you guys? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay, let's talk it out. Rachel Green : I... Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for? Eldad : I'm a little embarrassed.", "summary": "Rachel receives an unexpected offer of money from Phoebe, which she declines. Chandler and Monica have differing opinions on how to handle the situation. Meanwhile, Patrick is not impressed by Eldad's dancing abilities and finds it embarrassing."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'll tell ya who should be embarrassed! It's you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date! Phoebe Buffay : Then why did she ask us to... Rachel Green : I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean congratulations on all the cash, and-and y'know--Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?! Eldad : Yes, Papaya Extract. Rachel Green : Thank you! Ross Geller : So uh, have a great time down there. Elizabeth Stevens : I will. Ross Geller : Yeah. And did you, did you pack that bathing suit? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah. Ross Geller : It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because it's revealing which I'm fine with, no I'm concerned about your health, sun exposure.", "summary": "Rachel asks Phoebe and Eldad why they are trying to set her up on a date, but they end up chasing away the one guy she liked. Rachel is embarrassed and decides to go to the ball alone. Ross tries to offer his condolences and worry about Elizabeth's bathing suit."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : Oh, don't worry I have plenty of sun block, it's SPF-30. Ross Geller : Well, if what's in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes it's-it's get 4, and I swear to God more often than not it's just milk. Elizabeth Stevens : Ross, it's going to be okay. I'm not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us. Ross Geller : Really? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah! I'm just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends. Ross Geller : Okay. Cool. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh hey! Here they are! Guy : Elizabeth! Ross Geller : Call me! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, we're sorry for pushing those guys on you.", "summary": "Elizabeth goes to a beach house with Ross and his friends, where she plans to relax and hang out with her own friends. However, Ross becomes suspicious of Elizabeth's intentions and thinks she might be going down there to hook up with other guys. Despite this, Elizabeth reassures him that she just wants to have fun with her friends and that she likes how things are going between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh that's all right! Y'know, I ended up having a really good time. Y'know, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and awareness. Chandler Bing : So what was it for anyway? Rachel Green : I wanna say a disease. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : I just got this really weird message from Ross. He said turn on MTV. Rachel Green : Huh. All right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, look! That's Elizabeth! Rachel Green : Oh-oh Professor Geller. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, to be 13 again.", "summary": "The group attends a charity event, which is successful in raising money and awareness for a disease. Ross sends an unusual message on TV, and Phoebe spots someone they know."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : The reactor's gonna blow in three seconds, we're never gonna make it! Phoebe Buffay : You've got to get out of here! Save yourself! Joey Tribbiani : No! I won't leave you! Phoebe Buffay : Don't worry about me, I'm a robot! I'm just a machine!! Joey Tribbiani : No you're not! Not to me! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : I am extremely talented! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you're great! Okay, let's take it from...", "summary": "The reactor is about to blow and the group must escape. Joey refuses to leave Phoebe, who claims to be a robot, but Joey insists she is not."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, I mean I was really acting my ass off. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I thought I was pretty good too. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, you're solid. Yeah, you're just no me. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? I think that's enough for now. Yeah. I don't want to be over rehearsed. Phoebe Buffay : Fine! I'll do it without you! I don't need you or anybody else! I'm gonna make it on my own! You'll see!! You'll all see!! Chandler Bing : So uh, what's this thing you're auditioning for? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's a new TV show. Yeah. I'm up for the part of Mac Macaveli or \"Mac.\" Yeah, I'm a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. He's a, he's a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or \"C.H.E.E.S.E.\" Rachel Green : So Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey Tribbiani : That's the title! Yeah! Y'know they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese. Chandler Bing : That is lucky.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Joey Tribbiani are preparing for an audition, with Phoebe believing she was \"acting her ass off\" and Joey thinking he was also good. They end their rehearsal abruptly, with Phoebe deciding to go solo. Chandler Bing joins the group and learns about Joey's audition for a new TV show as a detective with a robot partner named C.H.E.E.S.E. (acronym for Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer)."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Huh-Wait so Joey if you get this, you're gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean you'll be like the Big Cheese! Or the Big Mac-Hey! You love those! Joey Tribbiani : Well, don't get your hopes up, because probably not gonna happen. Chandler Bing : Now-now, why would you say that Joseph? Joey Tribbiani : I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just don't know if I'm good enough. Phoebe Buffay : I am. Rachel Green : Joey, what are you talking about? You're a terrific actor. Joey Tribbiani : You really think so? Rachel Green : Ugh, how can you even ask that question?! Chandler Bing : Whoa, she's pretty. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and oh she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.", "summary": "Joey dreams of starring in his own TV show, but doubts his abilities. Rachel and Chandler try to reassure him, while Phoebe proves she's a talented actor herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm sorry, what? Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. Chandler Bing : Oh, ok. Joey Tribbiani : There's my scene, there's my scene. \"Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a...\" Joey Tribbiani : Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. Joey Tribbiani : I Play Al Pacino's Butt. All Right? He Goes Into The Shower, And Then- I'M His Butt. Monica Geller : Oh My God. Joey Tribbiani : C'Mon, You Guys. This Is A Real Movie, And Al Pacino's In It, And That's Big!", "summary": "Ross and Joey are struggling to learn their lines for a play, while Monica and Chandler try to help them. Meanwhile, Joey mistakes his lines for a different character and delivers a hilarious performance."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh No, It's Terrific, It'S- It'S- Y'Know, You Deserve This, After All Your Years Of Struggling, You'Ve Finally Been Able To Crack Your Way Into Show Business. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Okay, Fine! Make Jokes, I Don'T Care! This Is A Big Break For Me! Ross Geller : You're right, you're right, it is. Monica Geller : Yes. Ross Geller : So you gonna invite us all to the big opening? Joey Tribbiani : All right well, I'm outta here. Wish me luck. Phoebe Buffay : Gooood luck! Gooood luck! We all wish you good luuuuuuuuck!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, whatever. Ross Geller : It's your turn. Chandler Bing : Oh, are we playing this?!", "summary": "Joey gets his big break in show business and invites friends to the opening, but he seems uninterested."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey! How'd the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Terrible! I messed up every line! I shouldn't even be an actor! Ross Geller : Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didn't go well but it really did go well? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, did I fool ya? Ross Geller : Totally! Chandler Bing : So it did go well. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it went amazingly well! Ross Geller : Great! Chandler Bing : Oh that's great!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani's audition, which he believes did not go well. However, his friends, including Ross Geller and Chandler Bing, convince him that he did a great job and fooled them with his pretending to be disappointed."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, it's down to me and two other guys. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : And I know both of them, they're really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials who's always getting chased by those big flowers... Ross Geller : Oh, I love that guy! Chandler Bing : Oh-oh, what are you doing? Ross Geller : What am I doing? Joey Tribbiani : I'm just so nervous! Y'know? The callback isn't until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode! Chandler Bing : Well, it is overdue. Ross Geller : Look, don't worry. Okay? You're gonna be fine.", "summary": "Joey and two other guys are competing for a callback tomorrow at 5 PM. Joey knows both of them, including the guy from allergy commercials who gets chased by big flowers. Chandler and Ross try to calm Joey down."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : There's just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I don't know if you'd understand. Ross Geller : Yeah, none of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs. Chandler Bing : Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy! Monica Geller : Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce. Interviewer : Uh-huh. Is it dirty? Monica Geller : Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it. Interviewer : Don't, I like it dirty. Monica Geller : That's your call. Interviewer : So, uh, what are you going to do next? Monica Geller : Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel work in a restaurant where they deal with pressure from customers, while Ross and Chandler struggle with their own issues at work. Meanwhile, Joey feels overwhelmed by the demands of his job as a chef."}
-{"dialogues": "Interviewer : Are they, uh, firm? Monica Geller : They'r alright. Interviewer : You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad? Monica Geller : No really, they're OK. Interviewer : You gonna slice them up real nice? Monica Geller : Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne. Interviewer : Aaaahhhhhhh. Monica Geller : I'm outa here. Rachel Green : Monica, I'm quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didn't even buy it! I'm telling you I'm quitting! That's it! I'm talking to my boss right now! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. Monica Geller : Well, what happened?", "summary": "Monica Geller is unsure if some bread is bad and the interviewer keeps asking her to slice it. Monica decides to make jamlienne instead. Meanwhile, Rachel Green quits her job after helping an 81-year-old woman put on a thong and doesn't get paid for it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, he came in for a massage and everything was fine until... #ALL# : Ohhhhhh! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : And all of the sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. Monica Geller : Was it... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it! Ross Geller : You ate my sandwich? Dr. Ledbetter : It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone. Ross Geller : Oh-oh really? Dr. Ledbetter : Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.", "summary": "Ross's massage turns unexpectedly when his hands become the problem instead of the solution, and Monica suspects that Phoebe ate Ross's sandwich."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Dr. Ledbetter : Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away. Ross Geller : You-you-you-you threw my sandwich away! Ross Geller : MY SANDWICH?!!! Ross Geller : MY SANDWICH!!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : I want this part so much! Y'know? If I don't get this part I'm never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!-No, I didn't say that! That's a lie. Chandler Bing : Oh come on guys, it's not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it weren't for Monica's allergies. You're right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. Should I get that? Hello? Uh no, Joey's not here right now. Can I take a message? Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? Okay great. Bye. Monica Geller : Ahh! Aren't you dressed yet? Chandler Bing : Am I naked again?! Monica Geller : We're supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.", "summary": "Ross accidentally throws Joey's sandwich away, leading to a heated argument. Meanwhile, Chandler moves across the hall and invites the group over despite Monica's allergies. The audition for the play has been rescheduled, and Monica is getting ready to meet her parents in 15 minutes."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit? Monica Geller : Wh?! What about my allergies?! Chandler Bing : Oh right, your allergies. All her, she hates you. Joey Tribbiani : Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be? Chandler Bing : As crazy as soccer? Joey Tribbiani : Hello? What are you talking about? The audition's not 'til 5:00! Well, nobody told me! Who'd you talk to? Nevermind! Chandler Bing : You mean you didn't get it from this? Joey Tribbiani : The allergy guy got the part! Thanks! Chandler Bing : Well, maybe we can fix it y'know? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him! Joey Tribbiani : How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part could've turned my whole career around!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Monica Geller's allergies and whether or not it's okay for her friends to come visit. Joey Tribbiani suggests that they should create a real-life version of their conversations, but Chandler Bing points out that it would be as crazy as soccer. When Joey expresses disappointment over the audition time, Chandler reveals that the allergy guy got the part, and the two friends come up with a plan to send him big flowers to scare him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I messed up. Okay? I'm sorry, I really messed up. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you don't even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine! Chandler Bing : Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybody's allowed one mistake, right? Chandler Bing : You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap! Phoebe Buffay : It's not that bad. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . Hi! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and... Joey Tribbiani : And what?! Did you sleep with her?!", "summary": "Chandler bought a woman repeller (an eyesore from the Liberace house of crap) for Joey as a gift, thinking it was a copier. Joey is upset and reveals that Chandler slept with Kathy, who was late last night."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No! No! No! I just kissed her. Joey Tribbiani : What?!! That's even worse!! Chandler Bing : How is that worse?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! But it's the same! Chandler Bing : You're right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line. Joey Tribbiani : Over the line?! You-you're-you're so far past the line, that you-you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you! Chandler Bing : Look, I'm not saying that you should magically forgive me! But you're not perfect! You've made some errors in judgment too! Joey Tribbiani : Name one! Chandler Bing : What happened?!! Joey Tribbiani : Awww, man! He promised he wouldn't take the chairs!!", "summary": "Chandler kissed someone without permission and Joey points out that it's not okay. Chandler admits he was wrong and Joey agrees that they both make mistakes."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didn't think big enough to fit a grown man! Chandler Bing : So--You got in voluntarily?! Joey Tribbiani : I was tryin' to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what I'm gonna do? Chandler Bing : BEND OVER?!!! Chandler Bing : Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess. Lorraine : Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Chandler Bing : ...And what did you bring? Lorraine : She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice. Chandler Bing : Janice?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey were locked in a unit they were renting out, with no memory of how they got there or where their belongings went. They blame each other and a potential buyer for the situation, leading to comedic chaos. Meanwhile, Lorraine arrives with coats to check and a request for drinks."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Janice?! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh.... my.... God. Chandler Bing : Joey's tailor...took advantage of me. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years. Chandler Bing : Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite... Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Cupping. Joey Tribbiani : That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants? Ross Geller : Yes, yes it is. In prison!", "summary": "Chandler Bing accuses Joey Tribbiani's tailor of taking advantage of him, leading to a disagreement among the friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I said name one! Chandler Bing : I can't believe I did this! What an idiot! Monica Geller : Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There aren't any message you've forgotten to give me are there? Apparently you're not very good at it! I... Chandler Bing : Do you think he'll ever forgive me? Rachel Green : Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I-I kinda have. Rachel Green : Already? That's pretty bad what you did. Monica Geller : Y'know what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case... Okay... Chandler Bing : You didn't see how mad he was, y'know? Rachel Green : I'm sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Y'know, you fight, you make up, it's just the way it works.", "summary": "Chandler accidentally deletes an important message on Rachel's phone, causing tension between them. Monica and Joey try to help mediate the situation, while Rachel reminds Chandler that everyone makes mistakes and forgiveness is key. Despite initial reluctance, Chandler eventually forgives himself and the group moves on from the incident."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It took two people to break up this relationship!! Rachel Green : Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!! Ross Geller : I didn't know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn't finish the whole letter! Rachel Green : What?!! Ross Geller : I fell asleep! Rachel Green : You fell asleep?! Ross Geller : It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means 'you are,' Y-O-U-R means 'your!' Rachel Green : Y'know I can't believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!! Ross Geller : FINE BY ME!! Rachel Green : And hey! Just so you know, it's not that common! It doesn't happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel break up after he accidentally signs a letter \"Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E\" instead of \"You are\" and she realizes he fell asleep while writing it. They discuss their past relationship and how they're not interested in getting back together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I KNEW IT!!!! Monica Geller : You had no right to go out with him. Rachel Green : That is the most ridiculous... Monica Geller : You sold me out. Rachel Green : I did not sell you out. Monica Geller : Yes you did. You absolutely sold me... Rachel Green : Would you let me talk. Monica Geller : Did you just flick me? Rachel Green : OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- Ow. That hurt Phoebe Buffay : Oh! All right. Now, let's not do this!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue over his relationship with Richard; Rachel tries to intervene but gets hit in the face."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Phoebe Buffay : OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass. Monica Geller : Ow! Ow! Ow! Phoebe Buffay : I know! I know! I know! Phoebe Buffay : Alright, now I will let go if you both stop. Rachel Green : Fine! Monica Geller : Fine! Phoebe Buffay : There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own. Chandler Bing : Oh my God!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay plans to kick ass but stops when Monica and Rachel agree to let go. In a prison scenario, Phoebe would be in charge and make them her \"bitches.\" Joey offers to wear Chandler's clothes, and Chandler reacts in shock."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. Chandler Bing : Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? Hello? Damnit! Hello? No, Joey's not here right now, but I can take a message I think. He's still got a chance for the part?! Oh, that's great news! Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. Oh well, that's great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! Yes! Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. By dog not flowers. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Please tell me you got the message! Joey Tribbiani : What message? Chandler Bing : The actor playing Mac couldn't do it, they needed to see you at 2 o'clock. Joey Tribbiani : What?! It's 6 o'clock! Chandler Bing : Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Ross's! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches! Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe this Chandler!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing have a conversation about Joey's outfit and the heat, before Chandler delivers a message to Joey about an audition for the role of Mac at 2 pm. However, Joey is confused because he thought the audition was at 6 pm, not 2 pm. Chandler becomes frustrated with Joey's confusion and exclaims that he went all over New York City looking for him after writing the message on the board."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sorry! I-I-I don't know what to say. Joey Tribbiani : Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!! Chandler Bing : Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well I'm uh... Chandler Bing : Y'know, sometimes that fake out thing is just mean! Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow! Okay man, I'm sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad. Chandler Bing : Well that's good. Because you didn't! And I'm incredibly happy for ya!! Joey Tribbiani : That's mean! You really had me going there! Chandler Bing : Oh, we could do this all day. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you're right. Okay look, listen, let's talk about what a huge star I'm gonna be!", "summary": "Joey auditions for a part and gets it, leading Chandler to initially be worried and then later congratulate him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You are gonna be a huge star! I'm gonna hug ya! Joey Tribbiani : You hug me! Chandler Bing : All right! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, do we do this too much? Chandler Bing : I think so. Yeah, get off me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., I'm not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU. Phoebe Buffay : I can't! My circuits are fried! They're fried I tell you!! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Well then I'll just have to carry you. Ross Geller : That'll be a neat trick, when you're, when you're dead!", "summary": "Chandler becomes excited about Joey's potential stardom and hugs him, but Joey suggests they may be overhugging. Phoebe expresses concern about her circuits being fried during a backup source routing process. When Ross criticizes Joey for trying to carry Phoebe despite her death, Joey responds that he will find a way to make it work."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ross, you don't have to yell. Ross Geller : There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired. Phoebe Buffay : I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, \"Ooh, where'd Ross go?\" Ross Geller : Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Ross Geller : Oh my God. I mean... Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? I think that's enough for today. Thanks for your help! Phoebe Buffay : He's holding us back. Ross Geller : Totally. Rachel Green : Okay, Chandler!", "summary": "Ross and Joey are discussing an explosion that hurt Ross's hearing. Phoebe thinks Ross was excellent in the scene and Joey agrees to stop talking about it. Ross thanks Phoebe for her praise but then changes the subject to a previous scene with Mac, which Phoebe found impressive. Joey interrupts and Rachel joins in to tease Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. Rachel Green : And your horoscope says, \"On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift.\" Chandler Bing : Oh, well thank you in advance. Rachel Green : Op, but the twelfth brings a lover's spat. Monica Geller : You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?! Rachel Green : Oh, wait and on the nineteenth a secret crush announces itself. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey!! Rachel Green : Oh my God! It's Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : Oh that's right. It's your first day! So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick?", "summary": "Special someone gives a gift on the fifth.\nLover's spat on the twelfth.\nSecret crush announces itself on the nineteenth."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? I've dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Joey, you're going to be great! Joey Tribbiani : But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I don't know anything about technology! I can't even use Chandler's computer except to find porn! And-and that's only 'cause it's right there when you turn it on! Monica Geller : I think our lover's spat will start a little early this month. Phoebe Buffay : I'll be waiting. Chandler Bing : Are you judging them by their covers? Because you're really not supposed to do that. Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm just deciding which one to use-I'm gonna start writing another book! Rachel Green : Be-because the last one was such a big seller? Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received. Ross Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani lands a lead role in his own TV series but is unprepared and worried about acting with a robot. Phoebe Buffay tries to reassure him but their argument escalates into a full-blown lovers' spat. Monica Geller joins in, while Chandler Bing offers unsolicited advice on judging people by their covers. Rachel Green makes a comment about Phoebe's 14 books, which she has written but not published. Finally, Ross Geller tries to intervene and bring the group back together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : What are you guys doing later? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut. Rachel Green : We do? Phoebe Buffay : I want to see what he wants first. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : I just found out that Elizabeth's dad wants to meet me. Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, hold the phone! You're not Elizabeth's dad?! Ross Geller : Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.", "summary": "Ross wants to meet Elizabeth's dad, but he's not sure if he'll be liked."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Of course we'll help! Yeah! We'll be here! Ross Geller : Thanks! Monica Geller : We know how tough those parent/teacher conferences can be. The Producer : So uh, here's your office set! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Huh? Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator! The Producer : Let's get you into wardrobe for a fitting. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot? The Producer : I'm sorry, why don't we do that right now? He's right here. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. The Producer : Joey Tribbiani, this is...", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group helps Ross and Monica prepare for their parent-teacher conferences, while Joey becomes excited about meeting a robot."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow! He's so lifelike! Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guy's ears. The Producer : This is Wayne, the man who created and operates C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey Tribbiani : How do you do there, Wayne? The Producer : I'll let you two guys get acquainted, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Sorry about that... Uh, so where's C.H.E.E.S.E.? Wayne : C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. C.H.E.E.S.E. : Nice to meet you Mac! Joey Tribbiani : This is like the temporary robot, right? Wayne : No. Why? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, y'know? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is in awe of a man named Wayne who has created a lifelike robot. Joey starts to interact with the robot, but learns that it is not a temporary robot like he thought, but rather a real person."}
-{"dialogues": "Wayne : I spent two years developing this machine, it's absolutely state of the art. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, it just-I don't know it doesn't really look like it can do anything. Wayne : It can do this. Elizabeth Stevens : This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller. Ross Geller : It-it's great to meet you Paul. Paul Stevens : I usually prefer Elizabeth's boyfriends to address me as Mr. Stevens. Ross Geller : Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens. Paul Stevens : So Ross, what your problem? Ross Geller : Eh-wh-Excuse me? Paul Stevens : Why can't you get a girlfriend your own age?", "summary": "Ross meets Paul Stevens, Elizabeth's father, and tries to impress him with his new machine. However, Paul is not impressed and asks Ross why he can't find a girlfriend his own age."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's funny. Umm.... It's not funny. Paul Stevens : I don't like you going out with my daughter Ross. Ross Geller : Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind. Paul Stevens : Okay. Ross Geller : What? Paul Stevens : Okay. I'll give you one chance to change my mind. You got one minute. Elizabeth Stevens : Daddy! Paul Stevens : Fine! Two minutes. Go. Ross Geller : This is-you- Paul Stevens : 1 minute 50 seconds.", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Paul that he is a good match for his daughter by giving him one chance to change his mind within a minute."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean I've been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a student-I mean I not-not it! I mean, I mean I don't-We haven't done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, we've-we've-we've done stuff. Okay, okay, a joke, a joke-lighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish. Paul Stevens : I'm Irish. Ross Geller : And the Irish guy wins the joke! Monica Geller : Ross!! Chandler Bing : Ross! Monica Geller : How crazy that we'd run into you! Ross Geller : Oh God, thank you! Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens I'd like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : You're Elizabeth's father, huh? I can see now where she gets her rugged handsomeness. Monica Geller : Is-is-is there a-a Mrs. Stevens? Chandler Bing : There's a Mr. Bing!", "summary": "Ross and Paul Stevens have a conversation in which Ross admits he has never been in a situation like the one they are in (with a student). They tell jokes to lighten the mood, and Phoebe meets Ross's friends Monica and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : No, unfortunately Lizzie's mom passed away shortly after she was born. I raised her by myself. Monica Geller : Ohh! Paul Stevens : I get that a lot. Ross Geller : Okay umm, why don't we all take a seat, y'know? And uh, and I'll get us all some uh some coffees--Yeah, why don't you. Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Y'know? Whatever pops into your head. Monica Geller : Y'know, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, 'cause usually he's got the children's hospital. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Not looking for dates. Elizabeth Stevens : So uh, Monica is Ross's sister. Monica Geller : And he's a great brother! Paul Stevens : I had a sister. Monica Geller : Ohh!", "summary": "Paul's daughter Lizzie's mother passed away shortly after birth, and Paul raised her alone. They are visited by Ross, Monica, Phoebe, and Elizabeth, who reveals that she is Ross's sister."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : She passed away. Monica Geller : Ohh! Paul Stevens : Oh, you don't have to do that every time. Chandler Bing : But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story... You're roommate in college died didn't he? Paul Stevens : A part of him did yes. Ross Geller : Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about. Chandler Bing : Yes, we were just... Rachel Green : Hi, I'm sorry I'm late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Liz's father get here? Paul Stevens : I'm already here. Rachel Green : Oh! Ross is sooo great!", "summary": "Ross's friend Elizabeth passed away, and he was talking to his friends about it. Chandler shared a funny story about their college days with Ross, who revealed that a part of Elizabeth still existed within him. Rachel joined the conversation late and complimented Ross on how great he is."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey honey, you got the kind with the little girl, you said we were gonna to get the kind with the baby. Monica Geller : No, you said the baby creeps you out. Chandler Bing : No, the little girl creeps me out. Monica Geller : You said the baby. Chandler Bing : Why would the baby creep me out? Monica Geller : Why would the little girl creep you out? Phoebe Buffay : You guys, I'm sorry, could you please talk a little slower? Chandler Bing : This is going in your book? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's about relationships. Y'know? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great! Monica Geller : What?! Excuse me!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a disagreement between Chandler and Monica regarding which type of doll they are getting for their friend's baby shower. Chandler initially mistakes Monica's mention of the baby for the little girl doll, leading to confusion and further argument. Phoebe tries to intervene but is met with resistance from the couple."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as it's a compliment. Rachel Green : Oh hi! Paul Stevens : Hi! Hi. I think I left my keys here somewhere. Rachel Green : Oh! Well let's look for them. Oh-oh-hey! Are these them? Paul Stevens : No. Rachel Green : All right! Paul Stevens : Oh, here they are right here. Rachel Green : Oh good. Paul Stevens : Thanks for your help. Rachel Green : Oh, wait! Sorry, Mr. Paul? Mr. Paul?", "summary": "People will believe anything if it's a compliment, and love conquers all."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : Just call me Paul. Rachel Green : Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy. Paul Stevens : Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. Are you okay? Rachel Green : You just don't look old enough to have a twenty-year-old daughter. Paul Stevens : Well, we were very young when we had her. Rachel Green : Oh. We? Paul Stevens : Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to... Rachel Green : Oh no! Yes! Of course, I know that! I just-I meant y'know are you still a 'We' or are you just 'You?' Paul Stevens : I'm just me, my wife died shortly after Lizzie was born. Rachel Green : Ohh. So you raised her all on your own?", "summary": "Paul and Rachel have a conversation about Ross, with Paul expressing interest in killing him and Rachel defending him. Paul reveals that he is a widower and raised his daughter Lizzie alone after his wife died shortly after she was born."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : Yes I did. Rachel Green : Ohh. Ooh! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : How was your first day? Joey Tribbiani : Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot. Chandler Bing : Damn those robots, they're supposed to be our faithful servants! Joey Tribbiani : Anyway, it wasn't the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesn't like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh! Phoebe Buffay : Well, why don't you just get him fired?", "summary": "Joey has a bad first day at work due to a robot controlled by a grumpy man who keeps knocking over his sandwiches."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I may have to, I hate to do it, but I'm the star! Y'know? There's a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. Excuse me. Joey Tribbiani. Estelle Leonard : Joe! I'm glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Estelle Leonard : The thing is it's kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesn't know he might be fired. It's the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey Tribbiani : I'm the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!! Estelle Leonard : Uh-oh! Ross Geller : Joey?! Paul Stevens : Hi Ross. Rachel Green : I was just getting him to like you. Ross Geller : Joey?! Joey!!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is the lead in a TV show called Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E., but the actor who already has the part doesn't know he might be fired. Estelle Leonard, an agent, informs Joey of the audition, but it's under the radar because the current lead is unaware of the risk."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, Joey is not here. Ross Geller : Okay, I'll just wait for him in here! Rachel Green : Ross, it's okay. You can come out. Paul Stevens : Yeah Ross it's okay, it's me, Mr. Stevens. Ross Geller : Oh! Oh my God! I didn't even see you! Paul Stevens : Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, \"Joey! Joey!\" Bye Rach. Rachel Green : Bye! Paul Stevens : I'll call you later. Bye Ross. Ross Geller : What-what-what the-how da-how did-what the-how did-what?! Rachel Green : Well, y'know he lost his keys so he was looking for them...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel encounter Paul Stevens, who Ross becomes anxious around. Ross searches for Joey in the bedroom, shouting \"Joey!\" before running back out."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : In your mouth?! Rachel Green : No! Downstairs! And we got to talking y'know, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee. Ross Geller : You were at the coffeehouse! Rachel Green : Ross, what's the big deal? So I kissed the guy! Ross Geller : He is my girlfriend's father, okay? It's-it's, it's weird! Rachel Green : Wh-You dated my sister! Ross Geller : That was different! Rachel Green : What? Why?! Ross Geller : This is weird for me! Rachel Green : Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Let's face it, so far the guy's not lovin' ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, y'know? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation at Central Perk about Ross's recent kiss with Rachel's father."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : How is that important? Rachel Green : Oh it's important! Joey Tribbiani : Apparently, there's like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and there's only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didn't know he could get me fired! What am I going to do? Monica Geller : Well y'know Joey, you're a pretty charming guy. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here. Monica Geller : No sweetie, you've got to win over the guy that controls C.H.E.E.S.E.! You've got to kiss some serious robot ass! Joey Tribbiani : That's not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow I'm not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. Chandler Bing : So do you think uh, Joey's more charming than me? Monica Geller : Yeah! That's why I'm sleeping with him on the side. Chandler Bing : Yeah, you wish.", "summary": "Joey is in danger of getting fired because he accidentally turned on the C.H.E.E.S.E robot without permission. To avoid getting fired, Joey must charm the one person who controls the robot and kiss some \"robot ass.\" Meanwhile, Monica helps Joey by giving him advice on how to win over the robot controller, while Chandler tries to compete with Joey's charm."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : \"You wish.\" Monica Geller : Phoebe, stop writing about us! Phoebe Buffay : I'm not writing about you! I'm writing about other people. Chandler Bing : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Marcia and Chester. Monica Geller : Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, I'll just write about Phyllis! Hmm! Chandler Bing : Hmm. Monica Geller : Phyllis is sitting in a chair. Chandler Bing : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : I see what you're doing!", "summary": "Marcia and Chester are mentioned.\nPhyllis is sitting in a chair."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Phyllis sees what I'm doing. Chandler Bing : Oh-oh. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter! Joey Tribbiani : Morning! Hey, how's my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! Wayne : Don't touch him! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! Ah-ah!! Okay, that's why you didn't want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? Stupid! I can't believe it! God! Hey, how you doin'? Rachel Green : So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me. Elizabeth Stevens : What a nice story! Paul Stevens : So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom. Rachel Green : Wow! I definitely did not see that one backfiring! I'm gonna go to the bathroom.", "summary": "Monica finds out Phyllis saw her doing something, Chandler worries, Phoebe tastes her own medicine and finds it bitter, Joey tries to get a second chance after rumors of his firing, Rachel goes to the bathroom after her prom date stood her up and Ross offers to take her instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, take your time. Ross Geller : Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasn't as bad as-as... Paul Stevens : Ross, look, I know I've been giving you a lot of jabs and it's partly because I'm very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, many stories that Rachel has told me that, well you're not all bad. Ross Geller : Not all bad. Paul Stevens : And anyhow, I'm sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I still look at Lizzie like she's a twelve-year-old girl. Ross Geller : Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too. Paul Stevens : I beg your pardon? Ross Geller : No! No! Not-I don't mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, who's umm six and I still think of him as a baby. Paul Stevens : You have a son? Ross Geller : Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as I'm sure you are with your wife! Oh, I'm sorry! It's unbelievable!", "summary": "Ross Geller and Paul Stevens have a conversation about Lizzie, a woman they both know. Ross admits that he was a freshman in high school when he had a crush on Lizzie, who was a senior at the time. Paul apologizes for being harsh towards Ross and reveals that he still sees Lizzie as a young girl. Ross clarifies that he is also guilty of thinking of his son, Ben, as a baby despite being six years old. The conversation ends with Ross mentioning that he and his ex-wife share custody of Ben and that he is on good terms with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : Don't worry about it, I just didn't realize you were married. Rachel Green : Oh we were, but that was just a , I mean that was just a big drunken mistake. Ross Geller : You're back. Paul Stevens : You two were married?! Rachel Green : Oh! Whoops! I'm sorry, you were talking about Emily! Monica Geller : Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six. Chandler Bing : We said seven! Monica Geller : We said six! Chandler Bing : The only way that I said six would be if the seven's, let meet at seven, not at six. Monica Geller : Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I would've said something like this, \"Wow! My boyfriend's such a wise ass-seven!\"", "summary": "Rachel reveals that she was previously married to Ross in a drunken mistake. Paul discovers this information and is shocked. Monica and Chandler argue about their planned meeting time, leading to a confusion about what was agreed upon."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Chandler Bing : Oh my good God. Monica Geller : Ugh! Phoebe Buffay : I know what time you said. Chandler Bing : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Well actually, I know what time Chester and Marcia said. Monica Geller : What time? Phoebe Buffay : Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly it's my book to the rescue, huh? Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up. Chandler Bing : What does it say?! Phoebe Buffay : I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book.", "summary": "Phoebe writes a book and gives it to her friends, who are confused by its contents. Chandler discovers that the book is actually about him and Marcia, while Monica wonders what time the events of the book took place. Phoebe refuses to give them the answer until they thank her for writing the book."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Thank you for writing your book. Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! So are you. Chandler Bing : I told you I should not wear this color. Phoebe Buffay : Mon... Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks they're supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks it's at seven. Chandler Bing : So you knew we were gonna miss the movie! Phoebe Buffay : That's right. Monica Geller : Inside of telling us you decided to write in your stupid book! Phoebe Buffay : Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe I'm going to lose this job! Chandler Bing : Oh I'm so sorry man! Is there anything I can do?", "summary": "The gang is planning their weekend activities, but there is confusion about the time and date of a movie they want to see. Marcia and Chester are unsure if they are supposed to meet at 6 or 7pm, while Monica is annoyed that Phoebe wrote in her book instead of telling them about the conflicting plans. Joey fears he will lose his job, and Chandler tries to offer support."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard. Wayne : Hey Joey, I want to talk to you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Well, I don't want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hi, how are ya? Wayne : Joey, Joey, I-I-I'll g-get you your job back if you help me out. Joey Tribbiani : Why should I help you?! Chandler Bing : The reason he just said. Joey Tribbiani : What do you need? Wayne : I-I-I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman, y'know Sarah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler get into a confrontation with Wayne over a job. Wayne tries to bribe Joey with getting his job back if he helps him sneak past a security guard. Joey refuses and Chandler intervenes."}
-{"dialogues": "Wayne : I wish I could talk to her. Joey Tribbiani : What are you in love with her or something? Wayne : Yeah. Her. All of them. Anyone. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I've been there my friend. Wayne : Listen, I-I guarantee you keep your job if you can teach me how to talk to women like you do. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow Wayne, it's not really something you can teach y'know? It's pretty much something you're born with if you--You-you can teach it! I'll show you right how to do it. Rachel Green : I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage. Paul Stevens : How to make the next one even shorter? Rachel Green : Now wait a minute that's not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didn't tell me. Maybe I have to pee again. Paul Stevens : Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?", "summary": "Wayne wants to talk to a woman but feels insecure and awkward around them. Joey tries to teach him how to pick up women, but admits it's not something that can be taught. Chandler offers his support, but Paul interrupts with off-color comments. Rachel chimes in with a comment about Ross's marital history, causing everyone to burst out laughing."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Y'know what? I-I-I... I-I have had enough of this! Y'know, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if you've got a problem with me, frankly... Paul Stevens : Are you yelling at me?! Ross Geller : God no! Elizabeth Stevens : Y'know what daddy? If you don't like Ross, that's fine. It doesn't matter to me, I'm gonna go out with him anyway. Paul Stevens : Really?! Ross Geller : Well if it doesn't matter to her, it doesn't matter to me! Still not yelling! Paul Stevens : Wow. What can I say? This doesn't make me like you any better! Ross Geller : That's okay, I'm not so crazy about myself right now either. Paul Stevens : Then we agree? Ross Geller : Uh yeah, I guess-Yeah! I guess so.", "summary": "Ross cares for Elizabeth's daughter and treats her with respect, but Elizabeth's father has a problem with him. Elizabeth defends Ross despite her father's disapproval, and they both agree to move on despite their differences."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : Neither of us like Ross! Elizabeth Stevens : I like Ross. Ross Geller : Ohhh! Kids! Rachel Green : Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is! Ross Geller : That's okay Rach, we're not liking Ross right now. Rachel Green : Oh! I've got a lot of those too! Joey Tribbiani : Well, it turns out you were right C.H.E.E.S.E. C.H.E.E.S.E. : The shipment never made it through Omaha? Joey Tribbiani : You got it! And the rabbi's beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! It's your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! Wayne! Wayne!! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, you guys.", "summary": "Ross and Elizabeth do not like each other, while Rachel has many stories about how nice Ross is. Joey corrects C.H.E.E.S.E.'s mistake regarding a shipment and a rabbi's beard, and Phoebe joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : What's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Well it's just-it's one of those situations that I just hate. Y'know? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum. Joey Tribbiani : Now you're thinking you gotta sleep with him. Phoebe Buffay : No! No! It's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us! Chandler Bing : I'll give up my ticket. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Phoebe Buffay : Okay that's so generous! Chandler Bing : And I think Ross is generous too.", "summary": "Rachel discovers that a massage client gave Phoebe three tickets to an exhibit at a museum, and the group must figure out how to divide the tickets among themselves."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Great! Okay then it's just us girls! Monica Geller : Great. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : So what-what is the exhibit. Phoebe Buffay : It's mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches. Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!", "summary": "Lesbian love scenes and video games."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town. Monica Geller : Oh that's great! Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : I mean think about all the money that you're gonna make! Ross Geller : Why? What? Monica Geller : Well, her father pays you for baby-sitting right? Ross Geller : No, no, that's funny. But maybe it's time to move on, let it go, y'know? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeth's father, so ah, he's much older than she is. Looks like I'm not the only one interested in fossils, huh? Rachel Green : I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils. Ross Geller : Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings in his ear. Chandler Bing : Ross.", "summary": "Ross has plans with Elizabeth but Monica thinks he should take advantage of the opportunity to make money by babysitting Rachel's father's daughter. Rachel reveals that she and Elizabeth's father are dating, causing Ross to feel left out."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, come on you guys; that's funny! Y'know? Because he's need-he's got like a hearing aide y'know, 'cause-'cause y'know, 'cause he's all old, and... Paul Stevens : Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, I've decided to accept the fact that you're going out with her. Ross Geller : Really? That okay, that's great. Paul Stevens : Yeah. But then I changed my mind. I'm funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now I'm telling you, I don't want you seeing my daughter anymore. Ross Geller : All right look, I-I realize it upsets you. Paul Stevens : Yes it does. Ross Geller : But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I don't think there's really anything you can do about it. Paul Stevens : I'll call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired. Ross Geller : Ohh! A man with a plan! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!", "summary": "Ross Geller starts dating Elizabeth, who is Paul Stevens' daughter. However, Paul Stevens does not approve of their relationship and tries to break them up by threatening to report Ross to his university and have him fired. Despite Paul's efforts, Ross and Elizabeth continue to see each other as they are both adults and can make their own decisions."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin' up about something... Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now he's just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, I'll... Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. Yeah I know; we'd be great together! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So I'm back. The Dry Cleaner : Who are you? Joey Tribbiani : Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, I'm ready to go back up on the wall I'm the star of a new TV show. The Dry Cleaner : Show me in the table. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, it's not on TV yet. The Dry Cleaner : Well, then it's not on the wall yet. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? Phoebe Buffay : So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauer's clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that haven't been cleaned yet?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani was fired from \"Days Of Our Lives\" and is now seeking revenge against Jim Belushi, who he believes is laughing at him. Phoebe Buffay tries to help Joey by suggesting they put his picture on the wall next to Matt Lauer's. However, the dry cleaner is uninterested and tells Joey to bring a tape of his new TV show instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, I love museums! Rachel Green : Umm. Monica Geller : Soakin' up all the culture. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Where do you want to start? Rachel Green : Ooh, the gift shop! Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, and then lunch. Rachel Green : Oh, wait yes, but I can't eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wow. What, do you think maybe he's gonna tell you that he's gay?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel go to a museum, where they discuss starting with a specific exhibit or area. Phoebe joins them and suggests lunch, but Rachel mentions that she can't eat too much because Paul has dinner plans for her tonight with a surprise. Phoebe jokes about the surprise being that Paul is gay."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What?! No! Why?! Phoebe Buffay : No reason! That would just be a really big surprise, right? The Museum Official : You can put the aisle over here , and put the wedding ceremony right over here. Rachel Green : I didn't know you could get married here. Monica Geller : This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldn't put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! I mean you'd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. The Museum Official : May I help you? Rachel Green : Oh sorry didn't mean to interrupt. It's just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here? The Museum Official : Yes. We're very popular. There's a two-year waiting list. Sorry! Rachel Green : Monica, you should totally put your name down on the list Monica Geller : What?! Are you crazy?! I'm not getting married! I'm not even engaged.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel find a beautiful museum to get married in, but there is a two-year waiting list. Phoebe suggests they get married spontaneously without telling anyone, but Monica is not interested."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but there's a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. That's four years. Chandler's not gonna wait that long. He's gonna find somebody else, y'know? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. Rachel Green : Yeah hon, it can't hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if you're not engaged you just don't use it. Monica Geller : Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down. Rachel Green : I'm gonna do it too! Phoebe Buffay : Me too! Rachel Green : Really? Who would, who would you marry? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I don't have anyone right now. Y'know? Rachel Green : Oh Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Don't feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isn't gay. Monica Geller : Phoebe, that stuff is...", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel discuss a two-year wait list for an apartment, with Phoebe expressing concerns about Chandler finding someone else in the meantime. Monica suggests putting their names on the list, but Phoebe reveals she doesn't have a partner. The conversation turns to Phoebe's ex-boyfriend and her relief that he is not gay."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Don't even get me started on yours! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show? The Dry Cleaner : I did. Joey Tribbiani : All right, let's get me back up there! The Dry Cleaner : No! It don't go up on the wall! Joey Tribbiani : What-But you saw the show! The Dry Cleaner : Yes, it was very offensive to my people! Joey Tribbiani : Dry cleaners? The Dry Cleaner : Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there!", "summary": "Joey's stand-up comedy show is featured on a tape that The Dry Cleaner watches. However, The Dry Cleaner finds it offensive to their people (Russians) and believes Harrison Ford should be up there instead."}
-{"dialogues": "The Dry Cleaner : That's right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing! Joey Tribbiani : Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-that's offensive to Russians. The Dry Cleaner : I've never seen it! Joey Tribbiani : Oh you should, it's great. Ross Geller : This place is really beautiful! Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah, I've been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandma's. Ross Geller : Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyes-Do-do you want to make out? Elizabeth Stevens : Sure! Elizabeth Stevens : Are you okay? What's wrong? Ross Geller : Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.", "summary": "Mr. Ford is a loyal customer, but Joey brings nothing to the dry cleaner while Mr. Ford brings lots of clothes. Joey watches Air Force One and says it's offensive to Russians, and Ross compliments the beauty of the place. Elizabeth reveals that this used to be her grandmother's, and Ross confesses that he only inherited his eyes from his grandmother. He then asks if she wants to make out."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : Well, whatever works for ya... Ross Geller : No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, it's kinda fun hiding. Ross Geller : Yeah. Elizabeth Stevens : Hey umm, you brought protection right? Ross Geller : Why?! Are there like bears or something?! Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot. Elizabeth Stevens : I'll just run to the store and get some. Ross Geller : Oh no! Hey-hey, I'm the guy! I'll get it. Elizabeth Stevens : Do you know where the store is? Ross Geller : No.", "summary": "Ross and Elizabeth are hiding their relationship from someone, and Ross forgets to bring protection. Elizabeth offers to go buy some, but Ross insists on getting it himself despite not knowing where the store is."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : Do you want to ride around town on my little pink bicycle? Ross Geller : A little bit. Elizabeth Stevens : I'll be back in ten minutes. Ross Geller : Okay. Elizabeth Stevens : Why don't you get in the hot tub and I'll meet you there. Ross Geller : Ohh, okay. Rachel Green : Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house. Paul Stevens : Thank you, it's my mom's. So this is the kitchen. Chandler Bing : You've reached Monica and Chandler's, if you're listening to this message, we're probably screening. Yeah we are. The Museum Official : Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available...", "summary": "Elizabeth invites Ross to ride around town on her pink bicycle. Elizabeth will return in 10 minutes and suggests Ross get into a hot tub while he waits. When Elizabeth returns, she takes Ross to a beautiful house, where Rachel surprises everyone by arriving. The group tours the kitchen before Chandler answers a message from Monica, who is not available to host their wedding at the Morgan Chase museum due to a cancellation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! Yes, the groom-No! Not the groom!! Rachel Green : It's so secluded up here. Paul Stevens : I know. I like it up here. Rachel Green : I feel like we're the only two people in the world. Oops. Sorry. Paul Stevens : What's the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse? Rachel Green : No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-I-would you-actually, would you go check on that? Paul Stevens : Honey, we don't have any bears here. Rachel Green : Well, okay. Would-would you get me a Diet Coke? Paul Stevens : Okay. I'll be right back. Rachel Green : Okay. What?! What are you doing here?!", "summary": "Rachel and Paul are at a remote location for their wedding, but Rachel becomes frightened by a bear outside. Paul assures her there are no bears, but Rachel insists she saw one."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What are you doing here?! Rachel Green : I came with Paul! Ross Geller : Yeah, I recognize the ankles! Rachel Green : Get up! Paul Stevens : Here you go honey! Rachel Green : Ahh. Thank you! Paul Stevens : Diet Coke. Rachel Green : Op, ice. I need ice. Paul Stevens : Okay. Rachel Green : Thank you.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel encounter each other at Central Perk, with Rachel having arrived with Paul. Ross recognizes Rachel's ankles and they engage in a brief exchange before Paul intervenes to get Rachel a drink."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : I'll be right back. Ross Geller : You and your ice. Rachel Green : Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! No! Not in there! He's in there! Ross Geller : Did you really hear a bear? Rachel Green : Go-go! Paul Stevens : Here you go honey. One Diet Coke with ice. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you. Paul Stevens : I'm so happy that you're here. Elizabeth Stevens : Here I am! Paul Stevens : Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeth's here! Who are you talking to?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over Ross putting ice in his drink at Central Perk, while Paul returns with a Diet Coke for Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : Uh, you guys? Paul Stevens : How did you know we were here? Elizabeth Stevens : Umm... Rachel Green : Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage. Elizabeth Stevens : Obviously. Paul Stevens : Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! Rachel Green : Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah! Yep. Rachel Green : Well, why do y'know go in that room and do your homework? Elizabeth Stevens : Ohh, I wouldn't do it in there. That's my dad's bedroom.", "summary": "Elizabeth and Paul are caught in a closed garage, with tire tracks leading up to it. Rachel suspects they were there to work on a term paper. Elizabeth denies it and says she wouldn't do her homework in that room, revealing that it's her father's bedroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : That's your, that's your dad's bedroom. That's your dad's bedroom! Paul Stevens : Why are you yelling? Rachel Green : Whoa, that Diet Coke just went straight to my head! Woo! Monica Geller : Hi, honey. Chandler Bing : See you later. Monica Geller : What? I-I bought groceries, I was gonna make you dinner! Chandler Bing : Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! The Museum Official : Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. Monica Geller : Oh no! The Museum Official : I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available...", "summary": "Monica Geller wants to make Chandler Bing dinner, but he declines without asking. A museum official calls Monica about a cancellation for the Bing-Geller wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh please, he didn't hear it! He didn't hear it!! Chandler Bing : This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! Monica Geller : NOOOO!!!!!!!! Female Clerk : Can I help you? Joey Tribbiani : Uh yeah, where-where's the guy who decides who's pictures go up on the wall? Female Clerk : He's not here right now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? I'm an actor; I'm kinda getting my picture up there on the wall. Female Clerk : Y'know, there are two people who could put your picture up there. Joey Tribbiani : Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? You're the other one right? Paul Stevens : So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler try to cover up a secret they revealed to Joey, who stops by the apartment complex's front desk to drop off clothes for an acting job. The clerk informs Joey that there are two people who can hang his picture on the wall, leading to a suggestive comment from Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : Oh no-no believe me, I'm leaving as soon as possible! Paul Stevens : Good. Good. Not that we don't want you to stay, obviously you're welcome-How much more homework do you have? Elizabeth Stevens : Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out? Rachel Green : Really? Okay. Okay, I-I'll go upstairs. If-if you get me something from the car. Paul Stevens : What do you need from the car? Rachel Green : Surprise me. Paul Stevens : Okay. Rachel Green : So you're gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and that's where everybody's gonna be! Paul Stevens : Just relax. Just relax Paul, you're doing great. She likes you. She... Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Y'know why? Because you're a neat guy. You are the man. You are the man! I still got it. Nice and sexy. You're just a love machine. I'm just a love machine and I won't work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! Showtime. I'm just a love machine, yeah ba-by! Monica Geller : Phoebe!", "summary": "Elizabeth Stevens is leaving soon and Paul Stevens asks her how much homework she has left. Elizabeth then asks Rachel Green to come upstairs and help her with a problem she cannot solve. Paul Stevens offers to get something from the car for Rachel while she helps Elizabeth. Monica Geller interrupts and teases Paul about his \"love machine\" persona, leading him to exclaim \"Hey bab-y! Showtime.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Monica Geller : Have you seen Chandler?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Why? Monica Geller : The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! I know! How bad is this?! Phoebe Buffay : Well for the regular guy, it's bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God! Monica Geller : I know! I know! And he totally freaked out and I can't find him anywhere! Phoebe Buffay : What are you gonna do? Monica Geller : Well, I'm never gonna listen to you again, that's for sure! \"Y'know, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?\" Phoebe Buffay : Rachel said that! Monica Geller : Well Rachel's not here!", "summary": "Chandler's wedding is moved up unexpectedly, causing chaos for Monica as she tries to find him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Here it is! Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, \"Son of a bitch?\" Joey Tribbiani : I didn't do that! Who would've done that?! The Dry Cleaner : Son of a bitch! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, maybe ask this guy. The Dry Cleaner : You, get out of my shop! Phoebe Buffay : Well, what did he do? The Dry Cleaner : He went out with my wife! Phoebe Buffay : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-I-Hey! I did not go out with your wife! Okay? I went out with her! The Dry Cleaner : That's my wife!!! Get out!", "summary": "Joey denied signing a letter \"Son of a bitch,\" but the dry cleaner accused Joey of going out with his wife. Joey denied it and explained that he actually went out with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, we should go. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Elizabeth Stevens : Ross? Ross? Ross Geller : Elizabeth! Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go out this window. I'll meet you at the front door. Just tell them you're going home, okay? Elizabeth Stevens : Okay! Rachel Green : Oh wait-wait-wait!! No! Don't go in there! Don't go in there! I need another soda! Paul Stevens : Ross! Rachel Green : Oh my God Ross! What in heaven's name are you doing here? Ross Geller : And that is why we cannot see each other anymore. Paul Stevens : Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.", "summary": "Ross and Elizabeth have an argument, leading Ross to threaten to leave through a window. Rachel stops him and demands to know why he's there, revealing that Paul Stevens is also present. The scene ends with Ross deciding to have a talk with Paul about his feelings towards Elizabeth."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : Daddy! Paul Stevens : You're next!! Elizabeth Stevens : Okay. I didn't know he was here. Paul Stevens : Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or I'll have you fired. What you heard was, \"Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!\" Ross Geller : Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain... Paul Stevens : No, let me explain! Fired!! Ross Geller : All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. Paul Stevens : What? Ross Geller : And I too am just a love machine. Paul Stevens : Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.", "summary": "Ross tries to explain himself to Paul after he mistakenly overhears a conversation between him and his daughter, but Paul insists on having him fired instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm so sorry. Please, stop freaking out. Chandler Bing : I'm not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. Monica Geller : Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, what's the harm in that? Chandler Bing : Right here! Monica Geller : Chandler, please don't think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel... Chandler Bing : Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way! Monica Geller : It was a mistake. Please don't take this to mean anything, because it doesn't. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yes, if it really doesn't mean anything, because you know that I'm just not ready...", "summary": "Monica and Chandler get mistakenly married at a resort. They try to downplay the situation, but Chandler becomes upset when he realizes he wasn't informed about the wedding beforehand. Monica assures him it was just a mistake, but Chandler is hesitant to believe her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know! I know. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go tell Joey that that you're back. I was really worried about you. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, did she buy it? Chandler Bing : Totally. Phoebe Buffay : So did Heldi show you the place? Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you're gonna ask Monica to marry you! Chandler Bing : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Gunther.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are talking about him being back, then Monica goes to tell Joey. Phoebe joins in and asks if Heldi showed Chandler the place, which he confirms. Phoebe can't believe Chandler is going to ask Monica to marry him, and Joey interrupts with a comment to Gunther."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there wants the biscotti. Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go. Gunther : Do you still work here? Joey Tribbiani : No! No, I quit a long time ago. Did I forget to you that one? I'm sorry. Gunther : Oh that's cool, I was gonna fire you anyway. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Chandler Bing : Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I can't figure this out! It's so hard! Should I get her a Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or a-ah-ah! Paper cut! Phoebe Buffay : Now, have you told anyone else? Chandler Bing : No, I don't want to tell anybody else because I don't want Monica to find out. Phoebe Buffay : You told me.", "summary": "Plot: Chandler plans to propose to Monica but struggles with choosing an engagement ring; Joey quit his job at Central Perk but Gunther wants to fire him anyway; Phoebe helps Chandler pick out a ring but he's worried about telling Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, it's because I trust you, you're one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadn't been on the toilet. Chandler Bing : Me too. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! So Chandler, wanna go to the coffeehouse? Chandler Bing : Oh all right. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, coffeehouse. Ross Geller : Oh perfect, we were just gonna see if you wanted to go. Chandler Bing : Oh well, we don't because we got...the...other pl-place.", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe are discussing something related to a ring brochure when Joey joins them. They all go to a coffeehouse together, but Chandler and Phoebe quickly change their minds and suggest going somewhere else instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : How rude. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. You wanna bite? Phoebe Buffay : So how are things going with Paul? Rachel Green : Good. Although y'know, he-he's a private guy. Y'know, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings. Phoebe Buffay : That's easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that won't open. Rachel Green : So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table? Phoebe Buffay : No that's what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone. Paul Stevens : Hi honey. Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Watch this.", "summary": "Ross is annoyed by Joey's rudeness, while Phoebe tries to help Rachel open up to her boyfriend Paul."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : How are you? Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Paul! Paul Stevens : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : So how are things going with you? Paul Stevens : Can't complain. Paul Stevens : Come on. Rachel Green : Okay. Paul Stevens : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi!", "summary": "Paul asks Rachel and Phoebe how they are doing, and they reply that they are okay. Paul says he can't complain, and then greets Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : Ross! Ross Geller : Great to see you! Paul Stevens : Good to see you too! Ross Geller : How you doing? Paul Stevens : Good. Bye! Ross Geller : Okay! You take care! Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, what-what was the deal with you and Chandler blowing us off before? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! That was so weird, huh? Ross Geller : Phoebe, why'd you do it? Phoebe Buffay : I didn't do it! It was Chandler! He's... He's mad at you!", "summary": "Ross and Paul are talking when Ross's friend Phoebe arrives. They greet each other and Ross asks how Phoebe is doing. Phoebe explains that she and Chandler were supposed to meet up with them earlier in the day but blew them off, and Chandler is mad at Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What?! Why?! Phoebe Buffay : Please, I think you know why. Ross Geller : I can't think of anything. Phoebe Buffay : Come on Ross, you're a paleontologist, dig a little deeper. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didn't invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago? Phoebe Buffay : Do you think that's something that he'd be mad at you for? Ross Geller : I guess it could. Phoebe Buffay : Well then I think that's it. Ross Geller : Well, if he's angry, he really shouldn't just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, if that's what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe try to figure out why their friend Chandler is upset with them, leading Ross to suspect that it's due to not inviting him to a Knicks game. However, Phoebe reveals that Chandler is actually angry about something else entirely."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : Honey I made a reservation at China Garden, is that okay? Rachel Green : Yeah that's great. But first, wait, talk to me, talk to me. Tell me about your day. Paul Stevens : It was fine. Rachel Green : Okay. Hey, what are you thinking? What are you thinking right now? Paul Stevens : I'm thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress. Rachel Green : Yeah that's great Paul, but y'know I wanna know what--Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Y'know they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours. Paul Stevens : Are you talking about having sex? Rachel Green : No Paul, I don't know anything about you! Y'know, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood! Paul Stevens : Normal. Rachel Green : Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, that's always a painful time! Y'know your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while you're sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.", "summary": "Paul makes reservations at China Garden with Rachel, but before they go, she wants him to talk to her and share his thoughts. Paul reveals a normal day for him, and Rachel presses him for more personal information. They discuss childhood memories, puberty, and shared experiences of growing up."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : Nope! That never happened to me! Rachel Green : Well, you're lucky you never met that bitch Sharon Majesky. Anyway, umm... The rest of you life, y'know? Any regrets? Paul Stevens : Nope. Rachel Green : All right Paul, I'm not asking for a lot here. Okay? Just give me something. Anything! Paul Stevens : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Paul Stevens : Okay. Rachel Green : All right. Paul Stevens : When I was six years old. Rachel Green : Hm-mmm.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Paul Stevens and Rachel Green discussing their past experiences, with Rachel mentioning a person named Sharon Majesky who Paul luckily never met. Paul responds with a brief statement before changing the subject to ask Rachel if she has any regrets in life. Despite Rachel's repeated prompts for Paul to share something meaningful, he remains evasive and uncooperative. The conversation ends with Paul mentioning a specific event from his childhood."}
-{"dialogues": "Paul Stevens : I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year. Rachel Green : That's-that's great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Let's go. Paul Stevens : It was horrible. They called me chicken boy. Rachel Green : Oh! Paul Stevens : And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasn't really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here you can see it. Rachel Green : Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I see the scare. Listen, Paul, I think this is really great that-that y'know, you shared your feelings. It's really, it's beautiful, but umm, what do you say we go share some food? Paul Stevens : Oh, I couldn't eat now. Rachel Green : What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken! Paul Stevens : Chicken? Chicken boy! Rachel Green : My God, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that! I wouldn't do that!", "summary": "Paul wanted a big wheel but got a plastic chicken instead, leading to teasing from classmates. In fifth grade, he got into a scrap with Richard and was bitten on the nose."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store we've been too and I can't find the perfect ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! It's a beautiful selection. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so maybe you don't get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Y'know? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, y'know? Or an engagement tiara? Or-ooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I'm so glad I picked you to help me with this. Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm gonna stick with the ring. Oh, this one's nice! I like this one! Sir? Uh, kind sir? Can I see this one? Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out. Male Jeweler : Can I help you? Chandler Bing : Uh-uh, yes. I would like to see that ring please. Phoebe Buffay : Or not, whatever. Male Jeweler : This ring is from the 1920s, it's a one and a half carat diamond with sapphires on either side.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Phoebe Buffay go to a jewelry store to find the perfect engagement ring for Chandler's girlfriend, but they have trouble deciding on the right one. Phoebe suggests doing something different and considers an engagement bracelet or tiara, while Chandler wants to stick with a traditional ring. The salesperson shows them a vintage 1920s diamond ring with sapphires on either side, which catches Chandler's eye."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you...hold out that ring and ask me to marry you? Male Jeweler : Okay. Will you marry me? Chandler Bing : Oh my God that's it, that's the ring! How much is it? Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, I-I will handle this! How much is it? Male Jeweler : 8,600. Phoebe Buffay : We will give you $10. Male Jeweler : Are you interested in this ring?! Chandler Bing : Yes! Yes, but I can only pay $8,000. Male Jeweler : Okay, I can let it go at eight. Phoebe Buffay : We stand firm at $10.", "summary": "Chandler wants to buy a ring from a jewelry store, but he only has $8,000. The jeweler asks if he is interested in a ring, and Chandler says yes. Phoebe offers to pay $10 for the ring, but the jeweler refuses. Chandler and Phoebe negotiate with the jeweler until they reach an agreement of $8,000."}
-{"dialogues": "Male Jeweler : How would you like to pay? Chandler Bing : Uh, credit card. Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. Okay, I'll go get it. You guard the ring. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Listen, I'm sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10. Male Jeweler : Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. Phoebe Buffay : I'll give you $1 for them. Ross Geller : Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday? Joey Tribbiani : No. Ross Geller : Remember? You-you were eating pizza. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay. Well, apparently Chandler's angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.", "summary": "Chandler wants to pay with his credit card but realizes he left it with Joey. Phoebe offers to buy two $5 bills from the jeweler for $1, and Ross brings up past conflicts with Chandler and Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, we're supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us! Ross Geller : Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, y'know? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow that's a great idea! And I still have his credit card. Gunther : Here you go. Ross Geller : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. Y'know I gotta tell ya, sometimes I just-I don't get Chandler. Y'know, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you don't get all upset. Ross Geller : All the time? Joey Tribbiani : All the time! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God!! Monica Geller : Still crying?", "summary": "Joey and Ross try to buy Chandler a ticket to a Knicks game as a way to make amends after years of borrowing money from him. Gunther provides the tickets, but Joey mistakenly takes one for himself instead of giving it to Chandler. Meanwhile, Monica continues to be upset about something Chandler did, and Rachel tries to comfort her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didn't know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster! Monica Geller : Y'know, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex. Rachel Green : What's the other one? Monica Geller : I don't know, I've never had to use the other one. I'm just saying y'know, if we're having sex, he's not gonna be talking. Rachel Green : Oh that's right. You're the talker. Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues. Monica Geller : Oh, we have some... Rachel Green : No you don't! Phoebe Buffay : Okay umm, I'd also like to try on the tiara. Oh yeah. Okay. What do you think, too much? Male Jeweler : A tad. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. Something's missing. It's not... Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss ways to shut a man up, with one method being sex. Phoebe joins the conversation and tries on a tiara before asking to hold a musket."}
-{"dialogues": "Male Jeweler : Where's the 1920s princess cut ring. Female Jeweler : I just sold it to that gentleman. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! Paul Stevens : Rachel? Chandler Bing : No. How are ya Paul? Paul Stevens : Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you? Chandler Bing : No, did he hug you?! Paul Stevens : No! No! It's just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad. Chandler Bing : Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads. Paul Stevens : Hey Chandler?", "summary": "A man wants to buy a 1920s princess cut ring but it has already been sold to another customer, causing a woman to become upset and demand to be let out of the store immediately. Meanwhile, two other customers chat with each other about their fathers and missing them, with one of them revealing that they have seen Chandler's father kissing other dads in Las Vegas."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah? Paul Stevens : Would you.......Would you hug me? Chandler Bing : I'm a little busy here Paul. Paul Stevens : That's exactly what my dad used to say! Chandler Bing : Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. Oh hey! There you go. Okay. Paul Stevens : Five more seconds. Chandler Bing : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Paul Stevens : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! Hi, Paul is it?", "summary": "Paul asks Chandler if he would hug him, but Chandler is busy and brushes him off. Paul's dad used to say the same thing. Joey interrupts and greets Paul."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Do you have my credit card? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, it's in my... In...in my pocket. My back pocket! My back pocket! Chandler Bing : Thank God! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey listen I got us tickets to a Knicks game tonight. Chandler Bing : Oh, I can't go. Joey Tribbiani : Come on! It'll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and... Paul probably... Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, I found the perfect ring. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's uh, that's pretty nice but I'm gonna go with the one I picked first. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. It's over! Chandler Bing : What?", "summary": "Chandler loses his credit card and Joey finds it in his back pocket. Joey gets them tickets to a Knicks game but Chandler can't go. Phoebe finds a ring she thinks Chandler will like, but he goes with another option."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Some guy bought it. I'm sorry. I tired to stop it but they put me in jail! Chandler Bing : They put you in jail? Phoebe Buffay : The little jail between the doors! Chandler Bing : Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring! Phoebe Buffay : I know, I'm sorry! But y'know, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring. Chandler Bing : Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe it was the guy. Chandler Bing : It was the ring! Ross Geller : Hey! So uh, was he excited about the tickets? Joey Tribbiani : No! He blew us off!", "summary": "Ross buys a ring for his proposal to Rachel but Phoebe accidentally gives it away, leading Chandler to propose with a different ring. Meanwhile, Monica never sees the original ring and Joey is left without tickets for a concert."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : I know! Ross Geller : I can't believe it. Can I tell you something? I'm a little mad at him now. Joey Tribbiani : Can I tell you something? Me too. Ross Geller : Y'know what? He didn't want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we don't talk to him at all! Joey Tribbiani : Ooooh! Freeze him out. Ross Geller : That's right! Joey Tribbiani : I like it! Ross Geller : Eh? We'll show him! Joey Tribbiani : From now on, it's gonna be Joey and Ross, best friends. Okay! We're gonna be the new Joey and Chandler.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are upset with someone (presumably Chandler) and decide to \"freeze him out\" by not talking to him. They bond over their shared anger and decide to move forward as best friends without him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi. I'm back. Paul Stevens : Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, I've written it all down! Rachel Green : Ah that's great. No actually that's... That's great! That's really great! Y'know, I gotta tell ya writing, I mean writing, gets me uh, gets me kinda hot. Paul Stevens : Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! Y'know what I wanted to be when I was that age? Rachel Green : A lover? Paul Stevens : A surfer. Rachel Green : Oh yeah surfer? Paul Stevens : I wanted to be one with the waves, y'know? Rachel Green : Okay, hold on real quick, hold on a second let me just uh, get a little more comfortable here. Wait, now wait a second, this isn't too revealing is it? Paul Stevens : No. What ever happened to that little dude. So full of dreams...", "summary": "Rachel and Paul have a conversation where they discuss their past dreams and aspirations. Rachel reveals that she wanted to be a lover, while Paul wanted to be a surfer, feeling one with the waves."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't care about the little dude! I can't! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Y'know, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then it's only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I could've made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking! Paul Stevens : What?! I can't believe you're trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me! Rachel Green : Oh... I'm sorry. I... I-I don't mean-I didn't mean to stifle you. I... This is all just a little overwhelming. Paul Stevens : Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to overwhelm you. It's just that, when those gates open, you... Hard to close 'em. But they are closed now. Believe me. Rachel Green : I'm so glad, I'm so glad you shared. And I'm glad that you're done. What do you say we umm... Paul Stevens : I would really like that. Paul Stevens : That was...so good. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : I can't believe I let you talk me into buying this stupid gumball machine looking ring! Phoebe Buffay : It's not a stupid gumball machine looking ring! It's a beautiful ring!", "summary": "Rachel Green and Paul Stevens have a conversation about his mother trying to stifle him, but Rachel becomes overwhelmed and apologizes. They then talk about closing gates and share their gladness about it. Phoebe Buffay joins the conversation and Chandler Bing buys a ring that Phoebe calls beautiful despite Chandler's reservations."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, it's not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monica's face when I gave it to her, y'know? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. Look, this is the most important thing I'm gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure it's perfect. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. 'Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something. Chandler Bing : I can't do that. Phoebe Buffay : Well you certainly can't give her that stupid gumball ring. Phoebe Buffay : There he is! Chandler Bing : Okay and he hasn't proposed yet because she has no ring on her finger. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! You're good! After this, we should solve crimes. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Okay, go, go, go get him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call. Customer : Who is it?", "summary": "Chandler wants to propose to Monica but realizes he gave the wrong ring to the jeweler. Phoebe suggests retrieving the other ring, but Chandler refuses. They exchange banter before a customer approaches and Phoebe asks them to come with her for a phone call."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It is your office. Customer : Do you know who at my office? Phoebe Buffay : John? Customer : Oh John! Great! Phoebe Buffay : Here he is. Chandler Bing : Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring you're about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, I'm gonna need to have that back. But, in exchange I'm willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. Ew. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I would trade. Customer : It is beautiful, but I'm gonna use this one. Now, if you'll excuse me. Chandler Bing : No-no! This is my fiancee and her heart was set on that ring. You don't want to break her heart now do you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, do you want to break a dying woman's heart?", "summary": "Customer goes to Phoebe's office looking for John, but finds Chandler instead. Chandler reveals that he wants to propose to his fianc\u00e9e with a ring from the jewelry store, but the store accidentally gave him a ring meant for someone else. Chandler offers to trade the new ring for the original one, but Phoebe convinces him not to break his fianc\u00e9e's heart by using an older, more expensive ring."}
-{"dialogues": "Customer : You're dying?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, she's dying... Of a cough apparently. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if I'm not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity... Chandler Bing : Okay, that's enough honey! Customer : I don't know. Let me see the ring. Chandler Bing : Great! Okay, here. Customer : All right. Chandler Bing : Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! And you are about to marry a wonderful man! Hey! I'm marrying a dead woman! Chandler Bing : Guys? I've got something important to tell ya. Guys? Guys?! I'm gonna ask Monica to marry me. Joey Tribbiani : I think we gotta end the freeze out.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a ring that Phoebe Buffay wants to be buried with, and Chandler Bing has it. The customer wants to see the ring, but Chandler is hesitant to show it. Meanwhile, Joey Tribbiani suggests ending a freeze out."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wait a minute, is this, is this for real? Chandler Bing : Yeah, check out the ring. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God!! Ross Geller : So you two are really serious?! Chandler Bing : Yep, pretty much. Ross Geller : You-you're gonna get married?! I mean... We're gonna be brothers-in-law! Joey Tribbiani : And-and-and-and-and-and, and we're gonna be friends again! Chandler Bing : Heyyyy-What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh it's water under the bridge, forget it! Chandler Bing : Okay! I was gonna wait 'til uh, it was official y'know? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because you're my best friends.", "summary": "Ross is shocked when he finds out that Chandler and Joey are getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I think I'm gonna cry! Rachel Green : Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, I'll dump you too! Chandler Bing : I'm gonna ask Monica to marry me. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! You guys are gonna be so happy! Chandler Bing : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Where's all the tissues?! Chandler Bing : Check out the ring. Rachel Green : Nice! One and a half carat easy. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey-hey Pheebs!", "summary": "Chandler proposes to Monica, but Joey needs tissues for his tears of joy. Rachel gets upset and tries to leave, but Phoebe interrupts with a greeting."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : Chandler's gonna ask Monica to marry him! Phoebe Buffay : Oh I know, I helped pick out the ring. Ross Geller : You told her before you told us? Chandler Bing : Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? Guys? Guys? Ross Geller : God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever! Rachel Green : Yeah? Well, you should know. You've bought like a billion of 'em. Ross Geller : Yeah, you didn't get one. Chandler Bing : Okay, well tonight's the big night. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah!", "summary": "Chandler plans to propose to Monica and has been looking at engagement ring brochures with Phoebe's help. However, Phoebe reveals that she already told Monica about the proposal before telling the rest of the group, leading to some surprise and humor."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay listen, how are you gonna ask her? Chandler Bing : It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. I'm going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast I'm just gonna propose. Rachel Green : Ohh... Joey Tribbiani : That sounds perfect! Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You're gonna mess it up let me do it. Chandler Bing : I'm not gonna mess it up. Phoebe Buffay : If she says no, can I have the ring? Chandler Bing : She's not gonna say no. Phoebe Buffay : If!", "summary": "Chandler plans to propose to his girlfriend at her favorite restaurant with a bottle of her favorite champagne. Joey offers to help but Chandler insists he has it under control. However, things don't go as planned when Joey accidentally spills the champagne and Phoebe jokingly offers to take the ring if she says no."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi Monica. Chandler Bing : Give me it! Phoebe Buffay : It's gone. Chandler Bing : Phoebe! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi Monica. Phoebe Buffay : We're practically kissing.", "summary": "Monica and Ross have a conversation about something, while Chandler tries to take something from Phoebe but she won't give it to him. Joey enters the scene and says hi to Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler? Chandler Bing : Well, Monica and Chandler can't go. We're going to dinner remember?! Rachel Green : Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Monica Geller : What's the big deal? Chandler Bing : I just get mad when Rachel doesn't remember where we're going. Joey Tribbiani : Where are you going? Rachel Green : How about you guys?", "summary": "Rachel tries to get her friends to attend a charity event for underprivileged kids, but they all have existing plans. Chandler and Monica can't go because they already made dinner reservations, and Joey isn't interested in going anywhere."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Open bar? Rachel Green : I think so. Phoebe Buffay : I can do that for the kids. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know what? I'll come too. I'm making money now; it's about time I give something back. Chandler Bing : Well, you could also give back the money you owe me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Have a benefit. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight? Ross Geller : Oh no, I have plans with Elizabeth. Chandler Bing : Oh, so you're already doing your part for the kids.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel discuss an open bar, which Phoebe offers to host for the kids. Joey joins in, saying he wants to give back after recently making money. Chandler jokes about giving back money he owes Joey, and Joey agrees. Ross is asked to attend a charity event tonight, but he has plans with Elizabeth."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm sorry, it's just one of my last nights together before she leaves for camp-to be a counselor! Monica Geller : Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going? Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didn't agree to that! Monica Geller : Do you really see this as a long-term thing? Ross Geller : I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, you are 12 years older than her. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way? #ALL# : Yeah! Yeah, sort of. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Uh-uh-Wow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesn't really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, I'm the one dating Elizabeth, not you! Joey Tribbiani : That's not what she said last night.", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss his relationship with Elizabeth, while Chandler and Joey make jokes about Ross's age difference. Phoebe agrees with Chandler that it's a problem, but Ross insists he doesn't care."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : See? Now, he could date her. Chandler Bing : Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Hey, you marry me! What's going on little elves? Joey Tribbiani : It's the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah you have the ring? Chandler Bing : Yeah, right here in my pocket. Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oop! Chandler Bing : Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and she's gonna know. Ross Geller : Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here! Monica Geller : Hi guys. Chandler Bing : You are beautiful.", "summary": "Chandler proposes to Rachel with a surprise marriage plan, but their friends interrupt and try to leave before she can accept or reject his proposal."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, thank you! What's going on? Rachel Green : We're just really...very excited about this charity event that we have to go to. Phoebe Buffay : Here. Rachel Green : Oh! Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : So now what's going on here? Rachel Green : Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it. Phoebe Buffay : No, I know what a silent is I meant, what's going on with your hair? Rachel Green : Uh, wh-why? Phoebe Buffay : No! It's nice! Mr. Thompson : Nice to see you Rachel.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are excited about a charity event they have to attend, while Phoebe is more focused on Rachel's hair. Mr. Thompson greets Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Mr. Thompson : So glad you brought someone. Rachel Green : Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. He's the head of my department. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi. Rachel Green : And I also brought my friend Joey... Joey Tribbiani : Oh!! Shrimp toast! Rachel Green : Well, y'know I-I don't know where he is. Mr. Thompson : Well, I hope you're gonna bid on some things Rachel. Rachel Green : Well, y'know what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris. Mr. Thompson : Ohh, nice choice.", "summary": "Rachel brings someone to meet Mr. Thompson, who is the head of her department. Phoebe introduces herself and Joey is mentioned as someone else Rachel brought. They discuss bidding on items at an auction, with Rachel considering a trip to Paris."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Mr. Thompson : Good luck. Rachel Green : Thank you. Okay, twenty dollars. Zoe : Shut the door! Shut the door!! Ross Geller : What's-what's going on? Elizabeth Stevens : The guys across the hall are throwing water balloons at us. Ross Geller : Oh, you have to call the police! That's what I did to the kids in my building! Elizabeth Stevens : No, it's a water balloon fight! We started it! Ross Geller : Oh! Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, it's supposed to be excellent. The director is the same... Elizabeth Stevens : Who drank all the Kamikazes?", "summary": "Ross tries to ask Elizabeth out on a date, but she is interrupted by a water balloon fight between her and her neighbors."}
-{"dialogues": "Sarah : Nobody! We put them in here! Elizabeth Stevens : You want some?! Ross Geller : No! Okay! Okay! Okay, look, can I, can I just-just talk to you for a second? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah, sure. Ross Geller : Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? It's-it's gotten great reviews! Y'know the uh... First Dorm Guy : Attack! Second Dorm Guy : Put your balloons down! The Girls : You put your balloons down!! First Dorm Guy : You put your balloons down!! Ross Geller : Everybody put their balloons down!!! Now this is a nice suit!!", "summary": "The group discusses a play and its reviews. They argue over balloons and someone suggests putting them down."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Thompson : Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300. Rachel Green : Ugh! So close! Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Look! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : I got me some drinks! Rachel Green : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Open bar! Rachel Green : Well now it's an empty bar. Phoebe Buffay : You just can't stand anyone else enjoying themselves can't you? Mr. Thompson : And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22-foot gentleman's day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000!", "summary": "Paris trip almost won but lost by $170, Joey gets drunk and ruins the open bar, and the final item sold for $20k."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I won! That was my guess! Rachel Green : What?! What?! What?! Joey Tribbiani : I guessed 20,000! Rachel Green : Joey! It is an auction! You don't guess, you buy! Joey Tribbiani : What?! I don't have 20,000! Mr. Thompson : Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!! Rachel Green : Joey! Sit down! Phoebe Buffay : Forget her! You enjoy this!! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. I remembered it. The champagne is here.", "summary": "Joey wins an auction for a boat, but doesn't have enough money to buy it. Rachel corrects him, saying that in an auction, you don't guess, you buy. Mr. Thompson congratulates Joey on his new boat."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yes! Yes! I'm good! Are you good? Are you good? Is everything-are you-are you perrr-perfect?! Monica Geller : Yeah. I'm okay. I'm actually-I'm a little cold, can I have your jacket? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. Uh, no you can't have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you should've brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay? Monica Geller : Are you sure you're okay? Chandler Bing : Yes! I'm fine. In fact I've been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you. Monica Geller : Ohh that's sweet! Chandler Bing : Okay umm, before I meant you I had really little life and I couldn't imagine growing old with... Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I know, but just let me say it.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a conversation about being cold and then Chandler becomes emotional and reveals that he has been feeling fine lately due to Monica's presence in his life."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, Richard. Chandler Bing : What?! I'm Chandler! Oh, that's Richard! Monica Geller : Oh God, maybe he won't see us. Richard! Richard Burke : Monica! Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey, hey! I don't know why I did that! Monica Geller : Hey, it's good to see you! Richard Burke : You too, you let uh, your hair grow long. Monica Geller : Yeah-Oh that's right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back. Richard Burke : Well, my nose got lonely. Chandler Bing : And uh, you don't have a mustache which is good. I'm Chandler; I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler run into Richard Burke at a coffee shop, causing awkwardness as they try to hide their conversation from him."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard's Date : Hi, I'm Lisa. Chandler Bing : Hi. Richard Burke : Oh, I'm sorry. Lisa, Monica, Chandler. We used to date. Chandler Bing : Richard! No one supposed to know about us! See I, did it again. Monica Geller : Chandler, wh-why don't we sit down? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'll sit down. Monica Geller : It's good to see you Matire'D : You're table's ready sir. Richard Burke : Oh. Good to see you guys. Chandler Bing : Yes.", "summary": "Chandler and Richard used to date, but he didn't want anyone to know. Now they are at a restaurant with Monica and Lisa, and Chandler is nervous about being discovered."}
-{"dialogues": "Matire'D : Or if you prefer, this table is available. Richard Burke : That might be fun. Rachel Green : What were you thinking?! Joey Tribbiani : I didn't know it was an auction! Rachel Green : Wh?! Joey Tribbiani : I figured, take a guess, help a charity, free boat! Rachel Green : Why would a charity give away a free boat?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! Charity? Rachel Green : Ugh! Phoebe Buffay : Well, just buy the damn boat!", "summary": "A free boat is being auctioned off at a charity event, causing confusion and disagreements among the Friends. Richard suggests having fun and bidding on the boat, but Rachel questions why a charity would give away such a valuable item for free. Joey defends his decision to bid on the boat as a way to help the charity and Phoebe simply wants to buy it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Phoebe, don't you think you've had enough to drink? Phoebe Buffay : I'm just helping the kids! Rachel Green : How is you drinking helping the kids? Phoebe Buffay : Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink. Mr. Thompson : Mr. Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hi! Mr. Thompson : Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center. Joey Tribbiani : Just out of curiosity, how-how much is that boat worth? Mr. Thompson : I think it was valued at 19,000 Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I was pretty close. Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I can't buy the boat, I don't have any money.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is helping kids by drinking excessively, but Rachel Green disagrees. Mr. Thompson thanks Joey Tribbiani for his generous contribution towards building a youth center, and Joey expresses interest in buying a boat but reveals he doesn't have the money."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey! Joey, good one! Mr. Thompson : That's good. Very good! Joey Tribbiani : So uh listen, I think I'm gonna take off now. Rachel Green : Hey! You...can't...leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me! Joey Tribbiani : Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I don't have that kind of money! Rachel Green : I know. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what we're gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then you're just gonna pay the difference. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I don't know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Y'know? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine! Rachel Green : Not great.", "summary": "Rachel tries to convince Joey to follow through on his commitment to buy a boat, but he claims he doesn't have the money. They come up with a plan for Joey to pay the difference between the original price and the new, lower bid at an auction. Meanwhile, Joey expresses skepticism about the need for a youth center and suggests that kids should simply watch TV like he did after school."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : And so, we're hiding in the bathroom. Richard Burke : And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in. Monica Geller : So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know they're going at it right on the bathroom floor. Lisa : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy. Richard Burke : It's so great seeing you guys again. I'd like to make a toast. Uh, as a poet once said, \"In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds it's morning and is refreshed.\" Monica Geller : Ohh. Chandler Bing : What?! Ross Geller : Oh my God, you guys!! Chandler Bing : Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!", "summary": "Monica and Richard hide in the bathroom from her parents, only to be surprised by them having sex on the floor. Chandler shares a shocking story about his parents making love to the same man. Richard gives a toast, citing a poet's words about friendship and laughter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Who? Chandler Bing : Richard! Ross Geller : What? A-ohh! Ohh. Oh that's right that's right. That's Richard's favorite place too. Chandler Bing : Oh you knew that. Good! Monica Geller : I thought you were going out with Elizabeth. Ross Geller : Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight. Monica Geller : Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just can't get out of! Ross Geller : Y'know, maybe she is too young for me. Y'know, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I don't know what to do. Monica Geller : Why don't you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean that's what I did when I first weighing stuff. Ross Geller : Okay umm, bad stuff. Well, I'm-I'm 12 years older than she is.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss Richard, a favorite place of both theirs, while Monica brings up Elizabeth, someone Ross was seeing but had to cancel plans with due to a water balloon fight. Ross later reflects on his age difference with Elizabeth and how he feels like a babysitter when around her friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : If the school finds out you're fired. Ross Geller : Hmm. Monica Geller : She's leaving for three months. Chandler Bing : For camp! Ross Geller : Okay, good stuff. Umm, well she's-she's sweet and pretty and... Monica Geller : Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, \"Do you see a future?\" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didn't you?! Ross Geller : No! No! I...didn't do that. It's just... Okay, honestly no. I don't, I don't see a big future with her. Monica Geller : Okay well I think...that's your answer. Ross Geller : I've got to talk to her. Ugh, I hate this part. Chandler Bing : Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if you're not careful you may not get married at all this year!", "summary": "Ross doesn't see a future with the woman he's been dating. Monica pushes him to ask her about their potential future together, but Ross is hesitant and unsure. Chandler tries to help by pointing out that they may not get married at all if they don't figure things out."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one. Rachel Green : Oh great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Rachel Green : Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip? Phoebe Buffay : It's a trip for two! Excuse me. Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table? Emil Alexander : That was me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, en chante. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table? Mr. Bowmont : That's me.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a series of bids for various items, including a trip to Paris. The winner of the Paris trip is revealed to be Emil Alexander, and Phoebe Buffay expresses her excitement. Meanwhile, Joey Tribbiani and Rachel Green inquire about another bidder named Mr. Bowmont."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, yes. Rachel Green : Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000. Joey Tribbiani : You-you have to pay that! It's not just a guess. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Mr. Bowmont : I was actually relieved uh I didn't win the boat. My wife would've killed me. Rachel Green : Ohh... Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me?! She's gonna this boat! Rachel Green : Y-Yeah! What-what is your wife's name? Mr. Bowmont : It's Pam. Rachel Green : Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, \"The Pam.\"", "summary": "Mr. Bowmont's boat, \"The Pam,\" becomes available again after he decides his wife wouldn't approve of him winning it. Joey and Rachel are surprised when Mr. Bowmont reveals that his wife's name is Pam, leading to a humorous exchange about the potential naming of the boat."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Aw-awww! Mr. Bowmont : I don't think she'd like that. Rachel Green : Okay, uh-uh imagine this, \"The Mr. Bowmont.\" Joey Tribbiani : Oooooh... Mr. Bowmont : I don't think so dear. Rachel Green : Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. All right, you are settin' sail up the Hudson! You've got the wind in your h--arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that you've always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin'! You can-ooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when you're old, Cappy. Mr. Bowmont : What the hell, it's for a good cause! All right! Joey Tribbiani : No way! It's mine!! Rachel Green : What?! What?! Joey Tribbiani : All that stuff you just said? I want that!", "summary": "Joey and Rachel convince Mr. Bowmont to go on a sailing trip, despite his initial hesitation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : But Joey you don't have $20,000! Joey Tribbiani : Who cares?! I-I'll make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, you're back! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! Monica Geller : Why do you want to see my hand? Phoebe Buffay : I wanna see what's in your hand. I wanna see the trash. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Eww! Oh, it's all dirty. You should throw this out. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : What did you guys just do?!", "summary": "Joey wants to buy a Mr. Bowmont but doesn't have $20,000. He offers to make payments, and Phoebe wants to see his hand. Monica is hesitant to let Phoebe see her trash, and Chandler is confused about what just happened."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What happened? Chandler Bing : Richard was there so I couldn't do it! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Noooo... Chandler Bing : I'm gonna do it tomorrow y'know, and-and surprise her, but now you've ruined it! Joey Tribbiani : We didn't ruin it! Chandler Bing : Who walks into a room and asks to see a person's hands?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor... Joey Tribbiani : Glove salesman! Phoebe Buffay : Good one! Yeah. Chandler Bing : This is terrible. What am I going to do?", "summary": "Chandler tries to surprise Richard with a gift, but his plans are foiled when Richard shows up unexpectedly. Joey and Phoebe try to come up with reasons why Chandler should still give the gift, but their suggestions only make the situation worse."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesn't know for sure, so just throw her off the track. Chandler Bing : That's right, I can throw her off. I can make her think marriage is the last thing on my mind. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that you're scared of commitment! Convince her that you're a little coward! Chandler Bing : I can do that, I've had 30 years of practice. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! Monica Geller : I had to go all the way to the basement because some idiot keeps stuffing the trash chute with pizza boxes! Joey Tribbiani : That guy's still doing that?! Rachel Green : Hey! Oh my God you're here, let me see your hand!! Phoebe Buffay : No, you're too late!!! She already took out the trash!!! Ross Geller : Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didn't seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?", "summary": "Phoebe suspects something, but Chandler denies it. They come up with a plan to throw her off the scent. Meanwhile, Joey discovers that someone has been stuffing the trash chute with pizza boxes. Monica goes to the basement to deal with the problem. Rachel arrives late and is excited to see Chandler's hand, but he reveals that Phoebe already took out the trash. Ross is impressed by how mature Phoebe was during their break-up."}
-{"dialogues": "Elizabeth Stevens : Ross! Wait! Ross Geller : Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about... Elizabeth Stevens : You suck!! Ross Geller : What?! Ross Geller : Okay, break-up's still on! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, here she comes! How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesn't want to get married? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. I never noticed that before. Monica Geller : Hi guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Ross and Elizabeth have a confrontation, Ross thinks about someone else, and then Chandler and Joey prepare for their wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What are you up too? Chandler Bing : Oh, just hanging out, talkin' about uh, websites. Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Big Brother. Monica Geller : Well that's a little crazy. Although I am y'know glad to hear that you're branching out on what you look at on the Internet. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well... Y'know, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever want to get married huh? Monica Geller : Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world! Chandler Bing : Eh... Monica Geller : Okay well that's good to know. Joey Tribbiani : The Mr. Bowmont's here!!! Waitress : Hey Monica, there's a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?", "summary": "Marriage is unnecessary and a way for the government to keep tabs on people. Chandler and Joey discuss this idea, but Monica disagrees and sees it as a way to celebrate a relationship and solidify commitment."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Sure, I love this part! Waitress : Come on in. Richard Burke : Hi! Monica Geller : Richard! Richard Burke : Actually, I'm not here to complement the chef. Monica Geller : Ohh... Oh, that's okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So what's up? Richard Burke : Well, it was great seeing you the other night. Monica Geller : Oh, good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that? Richard Burke : No! I came here to tell you something else. I came here to tell you I still love you. Monica Geller : What uh-What did you-What?!", "summary": "Richard tells Monica he still loves her, but she is surprised and doesn't know how to respond."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : I still love you. And I know I probably shouldn't even be here telling you this, I mean you're with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say he's straight I'll believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didn't tell ya I'd regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did. Monica Geller : Y'know you're really not supposed to be back here! Richard Burke : Well yeah, I'm sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you. Monica Geller : Oh God... Why don't they put chairs back here?! Richard Burke : I know this is crazy but am I too late? Monica Geller : What the... Yes you're too late! Where was all this three years ago?! Richard Burke : Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Y'know after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head! Monica Geller : What were you doing in Africa? Richard Burke : Working with blind kids. Monica Geller : Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I... I'm sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.", "summary": "Richard Burke confesses his love for Monica Geller after seeing her with another man and regretting not telling her earlier. He wants to spend his life with her and have children together, but she is already in a relationship and feels too late. They had a previous connection three years ago, but Richard spent time in Africa trying to get her out of his head."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Okay that's fine, I'll walk away. And I'll never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandler's willing to give you everything I am. Monica Geller : Well he is! Yeah, I mean marriage is all he talks about! My goodness, in fact, I'm the one that's making him wait! Richard Burke : You are? Monica Geller : Yeah! Richard Burke : Why? Monica Geller : Why? Because of the government. Rachel Green : Isn't it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin' married. Phoebe Buffay : I know, they're gonna be so happy together. Rachel Green : Ohh... I mean two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen? Phoebe Buffay : Not that often!", "summary": "Chandler wants to get married to Monica, but she is holding off due to government issues."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! I'm so happy for them! Phoebe Buffay : Me too! So happy for them! Rachel Green : I'm so happy and not at all jealous. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! No God, definitely not jealous! Rachel Green : I mean I'm probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean what's 2%? That's nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Totally. I'm like 90/10. Rachel Green : Yeah me too. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, have you guys scene Chandler? Rachel Green : Wh-no, but y'know who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille. Monica Geller : So that marriage stuff that you were saying yesterday, you don't really believe that do you?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are happy for their friends' happiness, but Rachel can't help feeling a little jealous. Joey interrupts to ask if they've seen Chandler, and Monica questions Rachel's previous statements about marriage."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Let's take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs don't mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and that's just an ordinary pig not even a pig that's good at sports! Monica Geller : Yeah, but that's pigs not people! Chandler Bing : If marriage worked, I'd be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%. Monica Geller : Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married? Chandler Bing : Well, never say never but y'know probably uh yeah, never. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Then-then-then what are we even doing?! What is this?! Chandler Bing : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why don't you put down your copy of 'The Rules' huh mantrap?! Monica Geller : Y'know what?! I gotta go! Ugh! Chandler Bing : It's okay, I got a plan. Rachel Green : We're gonna find love!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a conversation about marriage, with Chandler expressing his doubts about its effectiveness. He cites pigs as an example, pointing out that they don't mate for life like humans do. Monica argues that this is different because pigs are not people, but Chandler responds by citing the high divorce rate in the US (97%). The conversation becomes more heated, with Monica expressing frustration at Chandler's lack of commitment and Chandler accusing her of putting pressure on him. Rachel enters the scene and tries to intervene, but the tension remains."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Definitely! Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm pretty confident about that. That's what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though. Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean? Rachel Green : Well y'know, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time they're 40, they marry each other. Phoebe Buffay : You mean a backup? Rachel Green : Exactly! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah I got that. Rachel Green : You do? Phoebe Buffay : Hm-mmm. Rachel Green : Who?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler make a deal with their friends that if neither of them are married by age 40, they will marry each other as a backup plan."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Joey. Rachel Green : Joey?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : Are you serious?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I locked him years ago! Rachel Green : Wh... So... If neither of you are married by the time you're 40, you're gonna marry Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal. Rachel Green : Oh, seriously? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, yeah. I think his exact words were... Rachel Green : Charming.", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe made a pact that if neither of them are married by 40, they will marry each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well hey, it's just a backup. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica! Monica Geller : Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror? Joey Tribbiani : This is for my boat, pretty cool huh? Monica Geller : Yeah, it's great. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, what's the matter?! Talk to the captain! Monica Geller : I'm just having one of those days where you realize you're in a dead-end relationship! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler giving you a hard time huh? Monica Geller : It's not like I want to get married tomorrow! It's just that I-I'd like to believe that I'm in a relationship that's actually going somewhere, that I'm not just wasting my time!", "summary": "Monica Geller has doubts about her relationship with Chandler and feels unsure if it's headed anywhere."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, you know Chandler. Monica Geller : No I don't know Chandler! Not anymore! It's like it's like something's changed. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you changed? Monica Geller : I didn't change! Joey Tribbiani : Maybe that's the problem. Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler is a complex fellow, one who is unlikely to take a wife. Monica Geller : Is that some kind of boat talk? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! I haven't totally decided how to talk on my boat yet. Monica Geller : What does he think? Does he think I'm just gonna wait around for nothing?", "summary": "Chandler is a complex character who may never take a wife."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Monica face it, Chandler is against marriage. And-and always will be! Monica Geller : Well there's some people who do want to marry me. Joey Tribbiani : There are? Monica Geller : Yeah! Richard! Joey Tribbiani : R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! And-and Chandler's tellin' ya how much he hates marriage?! Monica Geller : That's right. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler loves marriage!! Monica Geller : You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that he's a-a complex fellow who's unlikely to take a wife! That-that he's against marriage and always will be! Joey Tribbiani : You got that from what I said?! Narrator : When the Cretaceous period ended, the dinosaurs were gone.", "summary": "Monica wants to get married, but Chandler hates the idea and has expressed his opposition multiple times. Joey is confused by this and thinks Chandler might change his mind."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What happened you guys? Ross Geller : Rach! Rachel Green : Hey you! Ross Geller : Hey, come on in. Rachel Green : Oh thank you. Hey y'know, I'm so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth. Ross Geller : Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought we'd be able to make it work, but uh, I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Rachel Green : Yeah, love. It's a tricky business isn't it? Ross Geller : I guess so. Rachel Green : So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time we're 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and we've-we've already slept together so y'know there'll be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, \"What's that?!\" Ross Geller : Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel make a pact to get married if they are both single by the time they are 40."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Exactly. Ross Geller : Ohh, yeah I already have one. Rachel Green : What? Who? Ross Geller : Phoebe. Rachel Green : Phoebe?! Wait a-but-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup. Ross Geller : Ohh, I don't think so. Rachel Green : Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal! Ross Geller : That's impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that. Joey Tribbiani : Where the hell have you been?! Chandler Bing : I was making a coconut phone with the professor.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over Phoebe's feelings for Joey, while Joey returns to find Chandler working on a coconut phone."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Richard told Monica he wants to marry her! Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah, I've been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these damn boat shoes wouldn't keep flying off! Chandler Bing : My-Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : I know! They suck!! Chandler Bing : He's not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! I'm supposed to do that! Joey Tribbiani : I know! Chandler Bing : Well what... Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go over there; I'm gonna kick his ass! Will you help me?! Joey Tribbiani : Look, Chandler I don't think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica! Chandler Bing : You're right.", "summary": "Richard proposes to Monica, but Chandler is not happy about it. He wants to kick Richard's ass, but Joey advises him to find Monica instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Okay. I'm gonna get the ring! I'm gonna get the ring! I'm gonna go find her and I'm just going to propose! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay great. Joey Tribbiani : Dude-dude-dude! Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat. Monica Geller : Hi. Richard Burke : Hi. Monica Geller : I don't know why I'm here.", "summary": "Chandler plans to propose to Monica, but Joey interrupts with a suggestion about using a coconut phone for their boat."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : I didn't ask. You wanna come in? Monica Geller : I don't know. Richard Burke : Oh, okay. Well, I'll just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. Monica Geller : Chandler is such an idiot! Richard Burke : Drink? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'll have a scotch... Richard Burke : ...on the rocks with a twist? I remember. Monica Geller : Still smoking cigars? Richard Burke : Uh, no! No! That's...art! If it bothers you I can put my art out. Monica Geller : No that's, that's okay.", "summary": "Monica is upset with Chandler and Richard is offering her a drink. Monica agrees to have a scotch but is annoyed by Richard's smoking habit."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : So Monica let me ask you a question. Y'know, since we broke up do you ever, think about me? Monica Geller : Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago. Richard Burke : Oh really? Monica Geller : Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I don't like my new eye doctor. Richard Burke : Who is it? Monica Geller : Edward Nevski? Richard Burke : Yeah he's no good. Do you ever think about me in a non-eye doctor way? Monica Geller : No. Richard Burke : Ahh. Monica Geller : But getting over was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.", "summary": "Monica and Richard broke up, and Monica hasn't thought about him in a long time until she had an eye exam and didn't like her new doctor. Richard found out and expressed his disapproval of the doctor. Monica revealed that she still hasn't thought about him romantically since their breakup, despite it being difficult for her to move on."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups! Phoebe Buffay : Of course I can! It's just good sense to backup your backup! Look, I've already lost Chandler! Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe! We're both your backup?! Ross Geller : Phoebe, how could you do this to me?! Phoebe Buffay : I don't-Look I don't know what you're complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation! Joey Tribbiani : No we weren't! Ross Geller : I was not!", "summary": "Joey and Ross are backups for Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this kind of back talk is not gonna fly when we're married! Rachel Green : Phoebe you can't have both of them! You have to pick one! Joey Tribbiani : Pick me!! Ross Geller : No! Pick me! I don't want to end up an old maid! Phoebe Buffay : All right well let's see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boat-This is hard! Joey Tribbiani : This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel! Ross Geller : Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too! Phoebe Buffay : No wait! Just-Okay-Just wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Don't make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week. Rachel Green : Oh God, Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : I'm talking about massages.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel are debating who should be chosen among Joey, Ross, and herself as their partner in a hypothetical marriage. Joey and Ross both make arguments for themselves, while Phoebe tries to remain impartial. In the end, they decide to wait before making any rash decisions."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what we're gonna do! I'm gonna write Joey on one napkin and I'm gonna right Ross on the other napkin and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay? Joey Tribbiani : Okay that's fair. Ross Geller : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Good! Rachel Green : Pick one. Phoebe Buffay : Left! Thank you. Rachel Green : You're welcome. Phoebe Buffay : Ross! Rachel Green : Joey! We should just switch.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe settle a disagreement by writing their names on two napkins and letting Ross and Joey choose one as a backup."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : I missed you-you ugly, flat faced old freak! Richard Burke : Excuse me? Monica Geller : Oh! Him. Richard Burke : Oh. Whew! Monica Geller : I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-up's apartment! Y'know, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?! Richard Burke : Yeah! You're saying, you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with, a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache. Monica Geller : Y'know, let's face it, I'm not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I don't want that! Richard Burke : I think that's fair.", "summary": "Monica wants a mature partner and is not interested in Joey's immature behavior. She expresses her desire for someone who can provide emotional stability and support. Richard agrees and says he wants someone who shares similar values and goals."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Fair? Please don't even talk to me about fair! Fair would've been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair would've been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Richard Burke : It's okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. Shhhh. Monica Geller : Nothing. I don't kn-Umm. I don't know. Umm... Richard Burke : I know. Monica Geller : Y'know, I-I... I have to figure...some st-Y'know, some stuff before I can... Richard Burke : Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. I'll be here. Not smoking. Richard Burke : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Where is she? I'm not scared of you! Richard Burke : She's not here and please come in. Chandler Bing : Scotch on the rocks, with a twist, on a coaster? Ha-ha, Monica! Monica!", "summary": "Monica Geller is upset about the unfairness of various situations, including Richard Burke wanting to marry her and Chandler Bing being in the house."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Okay, she was here, but she left. Chandler Bing : Well where did she go? Richard Burke : Well she said she had to think things over. Chandler Bing : Oh my God, I can't believe this! Y'know, I thought...I thought you were a good guy. Richard Burke : Oh, hey look nothing happened. Chandler Bing : Nothing happened? Nothing? So you didn't tell my girlfriend that you love her? Richard Burke : Well all right, one thing happened? Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I can't believe this! Do you know what you did? My girlfriend is out there thinking things over! You made my girlfriend think!! Richard Burke : Well I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : And what does she have to think about? I love her!", "summary": "She left after saying she had to think things over. He thought he was a good guy but realized nothing happened between him and his friend's girlfriend. His friend became upset, thinking he had made his girlfriend think. Nothing happened between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Well, apparently I'm willing to offer her things that you are not. Chandler Bing : But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, y'know? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, she'd be surprised! Richard Burke : Well if it helps, it worked very well. Chandler Bing : It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isn't fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! I was gonna propose tonight. Richard Burke : You were gonna propose? Chandler Bing : Yeah I even got a ring. Did you get a ring? Richard Burke : No I don't have a ring! You go get her Chandler. And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, don't let her go. Trust me. Chandler Bing : Y'know Richard...you are a good guy. Richard Burke : I know. I hate that! Joey Tribbiani : Dude!", "summary": "Chandler tries to win over Monica by pretending to be Richard, but Richard shows up and ruins his plan. Chandler was going to propose to Monica but lost his nerve. Richard offers advice on how to keep Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I can't talk to you now, I gotta find Monica! Joey Tribbiani : She's gone. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : She's gone. She had a bag and she left. Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think. Chandler Bing : Well why didn't you stop her?! Why didn't you just tell her it was a plan?! Joey Tribbiani : I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldn't believe me. Chandler Bing : Well where... Where did she go? Joey Tribbiani : To her parent's I think and she said you shouldn't call her. But if I were you I would.", "summary": "Monica has left with a bag and didn't tell anyone where she was going. Chandler is looking for her but Joey isn't sure where she went."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I can't believe I ruined this. Joey Tribbiani : I am so sorry man. Monica Geller : You wanted it to be a surprise. Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Chandler... In all my life... I never thought I would be so lucky. As to...fall in love with my best...my best... There's a reason why girls don't do this! Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought... Wait a minute, I-I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me? Monica Geller : Yes. Monica Geller : I knew you were likely to take a wife! Joey Tribbiani : Can we come it yet?! We're dying out here! Monica Geller : Come in! Come in! We're engaged!!!", "summary": "Chandler Bing proposes to Monica Geller after he realizes that what matters most is making her happy. Monica happily accepts, and Joey Tribbiani interrupts with excitement."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ohhh, this is the least jealous I've ever been! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isn't here! Monica Geller : Oh... Rachel Green : Oh hell, he's done this three times! He knows what its about! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : I found a note on my door, \"Come to Monica's quick, bring champagne and a Three Musketeers bar.\" Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I'll take that. Ross Geller : What's up?", "summary": "Ross has left a note on Monica's door with instructions to come over quickly, bringing champagne and a Three Musketeers bar. When everyone arrives, they discover that Ross has written a script and wants them to act it out."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Monica and I are engaged. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Congratulations. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Ross Geller : Where is she? Monica Geller : I'm engaged!!!!!! I'm engaged!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she's been out there for twenty minutes, I'm surprised you didn't hear her on the way over. Ross Geller : Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, \"I'm gay! I'm gay!\" Can I bring her in? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, let her stay out there. It's sweet. Monica Geller : I'm getting married!!!! I'm gonna be a bride!!!! No, I will not shut up because I'm engaged! Ohh, big talk! Huh, why don't you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20! Chandler Bing : Okay, you get her in here. You bolt the door. I'll be in the closet.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are engaged. Ross reacts with surprise and excitement. Monica becomes overly enthusiastic and excited about being engaged, while Phoebe teases her. Joey suggests bringing Monica inside, but Ross declines. The conversation continues with Monica becoming more and more excited about her engagement, and Chandler hiding in the closet."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Shhh! Okay, umm, I just wanna say that...I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night. Our special night. I mean it just wouldn't be my-our-our night, if you all weren't here to celebrate with me-us-Damnit! Chandler Bing : It's okay, I want this to be your night too. To Monica. Monica Geller : Awww, come on-wait-stop it. Okay, to Monica. Chandler Bing : To Monica! Phoebe Buffay : So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, y'know, I'm kinda musical. Rachel Green : Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt she's even had time to... Phoebe Buffay : Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment? Rachel Green : Yeah, you're on your own. Monica Geller : Y'know what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at The Plaza. Joey Tribbiani : But I-I-I can't stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. I'm supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. What?", "summary": "Monica Geller is getting ready to celebrate her special night with her friends, but Chandler Bing interrupts to tell her how much he loves and appreciates her. The group discusses music for the wedding, with Phoebe Buffay offering to perform, and Rachel Green sharing a funny story about Joey Tribbiani burning down her apartment. They decide to go have champagne at The Plaza, but Joey has to leave early for a commercial audition."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So when you said, \"Get up early,\" did you mean 1986? Joey Tribbiani : You guys don't think I look 19? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, 19! We thought you said 90! Monica Geller : Okay everybody, let's go! Let's go! Rachel Green : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here? Phoebe Buffay : Oh honey no, you ate it all. Joey Tribbiani : I was afraid of that. Monica Geller : Y'know what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! You're not getting dressed.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani misunderstand each other when Chandler says \"Get up early,\" leading to confusion about the year 1986. Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller join in on the conversation, with Phoebe thinking Chandler said 19 and Monica suggesting diamond shoes to go with a ring."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Know what I mean? Monica Geller : Yeah, but I don't think we have time. Chandler Bing : There's gonna be a wedding. You're gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress. Monica Geller : Let's do it! Monica Geller : Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, don't worry about it! Chandler Bing : I'm not worried, I'm uh, I'm fascinated. Y'know it's like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. Phoebe Buffay : Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. \"First Time I Met Chandler, I Thought He Was Gay. But here I am singing on his wedding day!\" Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : If you would've let me finish, it goes on to say that he's probably not gay. Chandler Bing : Sure, you guys don't have this problem, you're made of wood. Hey!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are getting married, but Chandler has a fear of public speaking. In high school, he failed Biology class and now it's failing him again as he struggles to give a wedding toast. Meanwhile, Phoebe sings a song about the first time she met Chandler, incorrectly assuming he was gay."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : You look great! Rachel Green : Oh, thanks. Chandler Bing : You okay over there? Rachel Green : I don't know, y'know? I feel a little umm... No, y'know what? Nevermind, I'm gonna be fine. Chandler Bing : Oh, don't worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Wow! Happy Monica's night! Rachel Green : Well thank you, you too.", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler have a conversation where they exchange compliments and then Rachel suddenly becomes unwell. Chandler tries to reassure her that it's probably just champagne-related exhaustion, but Rachel insists she's fine. Meanwhile, Ross enters the scene and greets them with a happy birthday wish for Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married? Ross Geller : Well sure. But I get married all the time so... Rachel Green : Ohh... Ross Geller : You okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, I guess. I-I... I mean, do-do you think we're ever gonna have that? Ross Geller : You mean, we-you and me? Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no-no-no, no, no! We, you with someone and me with someone. Ross Geller : Oh good, you scared me for a minute. Rachel Green : Shake it off.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their respective relationships, with Ross joking about how he gets married frequently and Rachel expressing uncertainty about her own romantic prospects."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I mean-no, it's just 'cause, it's just 'cause you and I were like a nightmare. No, but there was some good times. Rachel Green : No, absolutely. Y'know like it was umm... Ross Geller : Surely you can think of something good. Rachel Green : Yeah, just give me a minute! Oh well, yes, I can think of one good thing. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff. Ross Geller : Yeah? I was good at the stuff huh? Rachel Green : Uh-hmm, uh-hmm, yeah, yeah, I really liked your hands. Ross Geller : My hands? Rachel Green : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel reminisce about their past interactions, with Ross expressing frustration at their tumultuous relationship. Rachel recalls a moment where she appreciated Ross's hands."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Way to go guys. Y'know, you-you were really good at the stuff too. Rachel Green : Oh, I know. Hey, y'know what we never did? Oh no, not that. We uh, we never had bonus night! Ross Geller : A what? Rachel Green : Y'know, bonus night. Y'know, when two people break up but they get back together for just one night. Ross Geller : One night, just-just sex. No strings attached? Rachel Green : Yeah-yeah, we never had that, Ross Geller : No. Ross Geller : Okay, this is getting a little crazy. I mean, I'm-I'm sure it would be amazing but I...gotta say I really-really don't think it would be a good idea. Y'know? I really, really...don't.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel reminisce about their past relationships and discuss the idea of having a \"bonus night\" - one night of sex without any strings attached. They both agree that it would be amazing but ultimately decide against it due to various reasons."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : 'Sup? 'Sup dude? Chandler Bing : Take whatever you want, just please don't hurt me. Joey Tribbiani : So you're playing a little Playstation, huh? That's whack! Playstation is whack! 'Sup with the whack Playstation, 'sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?! Chandler Bing : Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, really how old?! Chandler Bing : Young! You're a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybody's ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear! Joey Tribbiani : Wow thanks! Chandler Bing : Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Uhh, you've had a lot of sex right?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler have a conversation about video games, with Joey expressing his dislike for PlayStation. Chandler makes fun of Joey's age and suggests he looks 19 years old. Joey becomes defensive and asks how old Chandler thinks he is. Chandler responds by calling Joey a \"man-child\" and jokingly asks him to keep his underwear. The conversation ends with Joey thanking Chandler and Chandler making a comment about Joey's sex life."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : When? Today? Some, not a lot. Chandler Bing : Well, it's just the reason that I'm asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable to-I mean I really wanted too, but I couldn't.... There huh-hmm, there-there was an incident. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry about that man, that happens. Chandler Bing : It's happened to you? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Once. Chandler Bing : Well, what'd you do? Joey Tribbiani : I did it anyway. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Come on! Let's go! Come on! Why aren't you dressed yet?! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. Monica Geller : No, Phoebe, I'll tell you what, if you get ready now I'll let you play it at the wedding.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss an incident where Joey did something despite not being able to due to an unknown reason. Monica tries to hurry Phoebe up for her wedding while Phoebe shows off a dance song she wrote for the occasion."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Oh that's so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again I'll have to pound on you for a little bit. Monica Geller : Fair enough, now go get ready! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : I'll get everybody else , finally we can start celebrating my- I'm sorry, uh apparently I've opened the door to the past. Ross Geller : Okay, Monica. Mon, uh what-what you just saw... Monica Geller : Can I ask you just a little question, huh? Why tonight? Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : See, I've been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people I'm only planning on doing this once. So, uh y'know, maybe this is selfish and I'm sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that. Rachel Green : Oh honey, but it is just about... Ross Geller : It is! It is!", "summary": "Rachel plans to propose to Monica on their anniversary, but things get complicated when they time-travel to the past and Monica's ex-fiancee Ross returns."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No it's not! No! No! Now it's about you and Ross getting back together! Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : See yeah umm, you kinda stole my thunder! Ross Geller : Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are not getting back together! Rachel Green : Yeah. No. And you know what? Nobody even saw! Ross Geller : Yeah! Monica Geller : That's true. Rachel Green : Honey I swear it we just kissed. Ross Geller : It was just a kiss. Phoebe Buffay : You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue about Ross and Monica's relationship, with Ross insisting they're not getting back together. Phoebe interrupts and learns of their kiss, exciting her for their potential reconciliation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Thunder being stolen!! Rachel Green : Okay come on Phoebe, it's nothing! Monica, come on! Ross Geller : Look let's not make a big deal out of this! It was a one time thing. It doesn't even matter! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!! Chandler Bing : I don't think that's what they were talking about Joe!! Phoebe Buffay : What a great night, Chandler can't do it, these guys kissed... Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : You guys kissed! Oh my-this is huge! Rachel Green : No!", "summary": "Thunder theft, Ross tries to downplay it; Monica and Rachel disagree; Joey doesn't believe their conversation; Chandler misunderstands; Phoebe comments on the night; Chandler reveals a surprise."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh no! Rachel Green : No-no, it's really not huge. Ross Geller : And; people thinking it's huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. Which we are not! Monica Geller : Well, we're still talking about it, aren't we? Phoebe Buffay : Well yeah, that and Chandler's problem. Joey Tribbiani : Monica-Monica-Monica-Monica, listen-listen, listen, listen, would-would it make you feel better if we all stop talking about Ross and Rachel. Monica Geller : Yes that would be lovely. Joey Tribbiani : You got it. Okay. Now, I can pass for 19 right?! Chandler Bing : Yes, you can pass for 19. Joey Tribbiani : Really?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss a misunderstanding about a small thing, leading Monica to believe they are stealing her thunder. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Joey talk about Chandler's problem, and Joey suggests they stop talking about Ross and Rachel to make Monica feel better."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : Seriously? Chandler Bing : Seriously? Seriously, no! You can play your own age which is 31! Joey Tribbiani : I'm 30! Rachel Green : Joey, you are not! You're 31. Joey Tribbiani : Aww crap! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, we'll get us some Mai Thai's, maybe no more for you though. Monica Geller : Y'know what? I-I think that umm, I don't feel like going to The Plaza. Phoebe Buffay : Why?! Rachel Green : Honey, Monica, this is ridiculous! Look...", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over their ages; Joey claims he's 30 but Rachel corrects him, saying he's actually 31. Phoebe suggests going to The Plaza for drinks, but Monica declines, causing tension among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No-no, I-I really don't want to talk about it! I don't! Especially with you. Joey Tribbiani : Psss, that is whack! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Okay, I think I'll play it at the wedding. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Well, I think we'll see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, \"You look 19,\" and then they just take it away like-like, \"No you don't.\" Phoebe Buffay : Well, I don't think Monica is gonna take this away. Joey Tribbiani : Wouldn't she? Phoebe Buffay : Would she? Joey Tribbiani : Would she? You ate my candy bar! Ross Geller : Guess who? Rachel Green : Hey.", "summary": "Monica doesn't want to talk about something with Joey and Phoebe, who think they will play it at their wedding. Joey doubts they will be allowed to play, and Phoebe and Monica argue. Meanwhile, Ross enters and guesses who someone is. Rachel joins in and greets them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, I just realized we kinda let some stuff up in the air... Rachel Green : What do you think Monica mean when she said she didn't want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing. Ross Geller : Still thinking about it huh? Rachel Green : Come on! Serious-ser-ser-seriously, what did she mean by that? Especially you! Ross Geller : Oh, who cares? Rachel Green : I care! Ross Geller : And so do I. Rachel Green : Y'know what, I-I have to go talk to her, would you let me just get changed? Ross Geller : Okay. Sure. Rachel Green : Am I going to let you watch me undress?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying to figure out what Monica meant when she said she didn't want to talk, especially with them. They were both involved in a kissing incident, and Rachel wants to know why Monica specifically mentioned her and Ross. Ross is uninterested, but Rachel feels the need to confront Monica about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No! Monica Geller : I can't believe her, y'know it's just-it's so typical. Chandler Bing : Now Monica, I know you're upset, but don't forget. There is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then there's going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris. Monica Geller : Paris? Chandler Bing : We will take a moonlit walk on the Rue de la . Monica Geller : Keep talking. Chandler Bing : Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because it's romantic, but because I can! Monica Geller : I love you! Monica Geller : Bonjour, monsieur. Chandler Bing : Okay, don't say anything, you might scare it away.", "summary": "Monica is upset about someone and Chandler tries to make her feel better by talking about their future wedding and honeymoon in Paris, but Monica is not interested."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It's Paris, who knows we're here! Monica Geller : Hi Pheebs, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you said I could sing at your wedding so, I'm just gonna need a small deposit. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, just some good faith money to hold the date. Chandler Bing : Pheebs, we're not giving you a deposit for our wedding! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I see. Joey Tribbiani : They break your heart, don't they? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, I don't really their permission. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! If you wanna sing at their wedding, well you sing at their wedding!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are planning their wedding, but Phoebe wants to sing at the ceremony despite not having permission. Joey supports Phoebe's decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! And if you wanna look 19, then you... You gotta do something about your eyes. Joey Tribbiani : What?! What's wrong with my eyes. Phoebe Buffay : They give you away! There's just-there's just too much wisdom in there. Just put some tea bags on there for like 15 minutes. Joey Tribbiani : And that'll get rid of my wisdom? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe just 10 minutes for you. Chandler Bing : Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I don't care! Monica Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : Monica, what did you mean before when you said you didn't want to talk to anyone, especially me? Chandler Bing : What a great apology! And you accept! Okay, bye-bye! Rachel Green : No-no, seriously-seriously, what was the especially me part about?", "summary": "Joey's eyes give away his age, so Phoebe suggests using tea bags to reduce the wisdom in them. Chandler and Monica argue over a deposit, and Rachel asks Monica about her previous statement that she didn't want to talk to anyone, especially her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, let's just say it's not the first time you've stolen my thunder. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Hey, here's a thought. Rachel Green : Monica, what are you talking about? Monica Geller : My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie. Chandler Bing : Ahh, third base. Monica Geller : It's all everybody at the party could talk about! Rachel Green : Monica, y'know what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring! Monica Geller : We had a characturist! Rachel Green : Oh!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over a past incident where Ross stole the spotlight from Monica at her Sweet 16 party."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : \"Whenever I get married, guess who won't get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!\" Rachel Green : Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago. Monica Geller : And yet, here we are doing it again. Rachel Green : Ugh, Monica I don't want to steal your stupid thunder! Monica Geller : Oh please! Why else would you have made out with Ross?! Ross Geller : Got me. Rachel Green : All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it ain't gonna happen! Monica Geller : I just thought it would be nice if I could have just this one night! Rachel Green : I swear, I never wanted any part of your night! Monica Geller : Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica argue over planning a Sweet 16 party for Rachel's daughter, with Monica insisting on having a big celebration and Rachel preferring a more low-key affair. Meanwhile, Ross tries to make amends for his past actions towards Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh, Rachel, I've been thinking. I don't think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. I'm calling it off. Chandler Bing : Why to save your dignity my man. Rachel Green : Monica, why? Why would I ever want to take away from your night? Monica Geller : I don't know! I don't-maybe you're feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought you'd get married first! Maybe you can't stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you! Rachel Green : Oh wow. That-y'know what? That is so unfair. Y'know what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, let's go have sex! Monica Geller : I can't believe you're gonna have sex on my engagement night!! Chandler Bing : Well, somebody should. Ross Geller : Look uh, if we're gonna do this... Rachel Green : We're not gonna do this, all right? She's just gonna think that we're doin' it. Ross Geller : Oh, I see, so everybody wins.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel try to have a secret tryst on Monica's engagement night, but Chandler catches them and reveals their plan to Monica. This leads to a series of awkward confrontations and miscommunications between the friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Who is it? Monica Geller : It's Monica, open up! Rachel Green : Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! Ross Geller : Oww! Rachel Green : Yeah, you like that baby? May we help you? Monica Geller : I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement I'm going to announce that I'm pregnant! Chandler Bing : How is that ever going to happen?! Rachel Green : All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?! Monica Geller : I know why! Rachel Green : No you don't know why!", "summary": "Monica wants Ross and Rachel to get back together, but reveals that she is pregnant. Rachel explains why she was with Ross tonight."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay! Why?! Rachel Green : Because! Because I was sad. Monica Geller : What do you mean? Rachel Green : Look, I am so...so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that I'm not. I'm not even close. And I don't know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that that's dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler! Chandler Bing : I don't care, she slept with me. Rachel Green : Anyway sweetie, I am, I'm so sorry I ruined your night. Monica Geller : I'm sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. Ross Geller : Well, I'm going to take off. Congratulations man. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Ross Geller : And uh, Rachel.", "summary": "Rachel is sad about Monica and Chandler getting married, which leads her to reflect on her own lack of progress in finding a partner. She confides in Monica, who accidentally reveals that Rachel slept with Chandler after Ross's wedding. Rachel feels embarrassed and apologizes to Monica, while Chandler shrugs it off as no big deal."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person who's going to enjoy these bad boys is me. Phoebe Buffay : \"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. That's right, I'm here all night, and Chandler will never get l...\" Chandler Bing : Hey! Here's a dollar, consider it a deposit. Please sing at our wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Oh thank you. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Now... \"Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer--Oh-oh! All right, I'll pound on him in the morning. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Who wants French toast?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel miss their opportunity with Phoebe, who remains in the apartment. Chandler offers Phoebe a dollar as a deposit for her to sing at their wedding. Phoebe agrees but also makes a joke about performing the ceremony herself. Joey joins the group and offers French toast."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, I'll have some! Joey Tribbiani : Good, me too. Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks. Monica Geller : Oww! Chandler Bing : What's the matter honey? Monica Geller : I don't know, my hand feels weird. I guess it's because, I'm engaged! How long before it starts getting annoying? Phoebe Buffay : It starts? Rachel Green : Yeah, so let's get started on the wedding plans! Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Already?! Rachel Green : Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music...", "summary": "Monica and Chandler get engaged. Monica feels weird about it, and Rachel starts planning the wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, I got some thoughts on that. Rachel Green : Oh wait Chandler, too many cooks... Ross Geller : Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : What in God's name is that?! Ross Geller : Oh my God, the wedding book?! I haven't seen that since the forth grade! Monica Geller : This baby has got everything. Take y'know, locations for instance. First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage. Phoebe Buffay : That is so smart! Break it off. Break it off now. Ross Geller : And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now let's take a look at... Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang prepares for Monica and Chandler's wedding, but Chandler has concerns about the planning process. Ross finds an old wedding book from fourth grade and becomes obsessed with proving he had the idea for Jurassic Park first. Phoebe supports Ross but also suggests breaking off the wedding planning."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : I need to talk to you, it's pretty urgent. It's about Monica and Chandler. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Of course, of course. Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each other's hometowns? Why don't you... Wh-what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, y'know? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days? Ross Geller : Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-what's wrong with Monica and Chandler? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing-Why?! Ross Geller : Phoebe, you said it was urgent! Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah it is! I'm going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes. Ross Geller : Do you realize I have a classroom full of students? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?", "summary": "Phoebe needs to talk to Ross about Monica and Chandler, but she doesn't know where they live. She asks if she can stay with him for a couple of days to keep an eye on them. Meanwhile, Ross has a class full of students and is struggling to focus due to Phoebe's sudden arrival."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, so I haven't cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : All right umm, a string quartet for the procession. Rachel Green : Aw. Monica Geller : A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding. Chandler Bing : Well, you couldn't get them anyway. Ian doesn't plan anymore and Derrick... And Derrick is a name I shouldn't know. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? Y'know, something a little snugglyer? Chandler Bing : Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place? Joey Tribbiani : Well, the duck... Rachel Green : What?! The duck?! What the hell did the damn duck do now?!", "summary": "The bride-to-be, Monica Geller, is planning her wedding and discussing music options with her friends. She wants a string quartet for the procession, but Rachel Green is not impressed. Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani join the conversation, with Chandler mentioning that he can't get the Bay City Rollers because Ian doesn't plan anymore, and Derrick is someone he shouldn't know. Joey asks for another pillow, as he wants something \"snugglyer.\" The conversation ends with Rachel becoming frustrated with a duck that has caused some issue."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up! Chandler Bing : Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding? Monica Geller : Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Here you go! What do you think about centerpieces? Chandler Bing : Centerpieces! Monica Geller : Yeah! Roses or Lilies? Chandler Bing : Definitely roses. Well, I just think they're a little more weddingy. But Lilies are the clear choice. Monica Geller : Oh my God! It's like one mind. Chandler Bing : Uh-huh!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Chandler discuss centerpieces for a wedding, with Chandler preferring roses and Monica agreeing."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, I'm gonna get cranky! Rachel Green : Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall! Joey Tribbiani : Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick! Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm gonna go! Rachel Green : Now Joey, what did the duck do?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! But he did not eat your face cream! Joey Tribbiani : Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? What the hell is in that face cream? That's so soft. Pillowcases! Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar... The vicar? ...wouldn't be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his... Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! Ross Geller : Uh, Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Oh Ross, hi.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani's desire to nap, which leads to a discussion about the duck that got sick on a couch in their building. Rachel Green asks Joey what happened to the duck, and he replies that he doesn't know but it didn't eat her face cream. The conversation then shifts to Phoebe Buffay entering the room and Ross Geller greeting her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Phoebe, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm with a client right now. Ross Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, let's talk outside. Ross Geller : Phoebe, you can't massage people in my apartment! Phoebe Buffay : What's the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandler's! Ross Geller : And they knew about it? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well Ross, what is this really about? Ross Geller : Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just don't know what the big deal is!", "summary": "Ross discovers that Phoebe is giving massages in his apartment without his knowledge or consent. He is upset and insists she stop immediately. Phoebe argues that it's no big deal and that she has done it before at Monica and Chandler's place, but Ross is still uncomfortable with the idea of strangers being in his home without his permission."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : The big deal is I don't want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzle-beer! Cold beer. Rachel Green : Hey Joey, what 'cha doing? Joey Tribbiani : Sweepin'. Why? Turn you on? Rachel Green : No. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney? Rachel Green : Joey, did you my face cream? Joey Tribbiani : Where are you going? The vicar won't be home for hours. Rachel Green : Joey, where did you learn that word? Joey Tribbiani : Where do you think, Zelda? Rachel Green : You found my book?!", "summary": "Ross doesn't want strangers in his apartment while he's trying to relax with a beer and puzzle. Joey is sweeping, which makes Rachel wonder if he'd be good at sweeping chimneys. Joey uses the word \"vicar,\" and Rachel questions where he learned it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I did! Rachel Green : Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, look I'm sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldn't have, but you got porn! Rachel Green : Hey-hey, y'know what? I don't care! I'm not ashamed of my book. There's nothing with a woman enjoying a little...erotica. It's just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. Joey Tribbiani : You got porn! Ross Geller : Hello. Woman : Hi, is uh Phoebe here? Ross Geller : Uh no-no, she-she's out for the night. Woman : Ohh great. Ross Geller : Can I, can I help you with something?", "summary": "Joey enters Rachel's bedroom without permission and discovers her collection of erotic literature. Rachel defends her reading material, arguing that it's a healthy expression of female sexuality and not something to be ashamed of. Meanwhile, Ross tries to help a mysterious woman at the door by pretending Phoebe is not available."}
-{"dialogues": "Woman : Well, I don't know. Are you a masseur? Ross Geller : Yes I am. Woman : Great! Dad! Thank you so much, I'll be back to pick him up in an hour. Judy Geller : So Chandler, you're parents must've been thrilled when you told them you were engaged. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, I should probably call them. Jack Geller : I remember when we first got engaged. Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't think I ever heard that story. Monica Geller : Oh dad, really you don't need to... Jack Geller : Well, I'd gotten Judy pregnant. I still don't know that happened. Judy Geller : You don't know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!", "summary": "A woman asks if someone is a masseur, and Ross says he is. The woman then thanks him and will return in an hour. Judy mentions something about Chandler's parents being thrilled when he got engaged, but Chandler doesn't seem to remember the story. Monica tries to spare Jack's feelings by not telling him a story about how he got her mother pregnant, but Jack reveals that he still doesn't know how it happened, including the fact that his dog thought Judy's diaphragm was a chew toy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What a sweet story. Monica Geller : Well, at least you're not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party. Jack Geller : What?! They wanted a scary story! Monica Geller : Anyway, we're really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon we'll be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. What? Judy Geller : You tell her Jack, I can't do it. Monica Geller : What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund don't you? Jack Geller : We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house. Monica Geller : I don't believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house! Judy Geller : We're sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 you'd pay for it yourself. Monica Geller : You bought the beach house when I was 23!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are excited about their wedding plans, but they may have a problem with their parents using Monica's wedding fund to buy a beach house."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you can't put a price on that sweetie. Judy Geller : We really do feel bad about this though. Jack Geller : We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen. Monica Geller : What about when I started dating Chandler? Judy Geller : Well it was Chandler! We didn't think he'd ever propose! Chandler Bing : Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. Monica Geller : I can't believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?! Judy Geller : We might still have some money, if your father didn't think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet. Jack Geller : It seemed like such a simple idea. Judy Geller : Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.", "summary": "Monica wants to get married but there isn't enough money for the wedding. Her parents, Jack and Judy, are upset about this and argue with each other about their own financial mistakes, including selling ice over the internet and not saving enough for Monica's wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : All right, enough! I don't want to hear about it anymore! Good luck, Chandler. Ross Geller : Okay! Now, I'm going to touch you. Ohh, that's soft. Monica Geller : I can't believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it? Chandler Bing : I don't know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. She's saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to Dollywood. Rachel Green : Well what happened at dinner? Monica Geller : My parents spent the money for our wedding! Phoebe Buffay : My God! What did you order?! Rachel Green : Wait, but there's no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center! Chandler Bing : Honey, it's gonna be okay. Monica Geller : No! No it's not! It's not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses their weddings and financial struggles. Monica's parents spent all of their money on her wedding, while Chandler's mother saved up for her divorce and father saves for his trips to Dollywood. Rachel and Ross argue about their wedding plans, and Phoebe is excited to hear about the details."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, y'know what? It's gonna be okay. I mean you don't have to have this rustic Italian feast. Y'know? And-and you don't need, you don't need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. Chandler Bing : Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that we're gonna get married. Rachel Green : Do you even understand what off the rack means?! Phoebe Buffay : Look, why don't you just pay for it yourself? Monica Geller : How? I don't have any money. Chandler Bing : Well, I have some. Monica Geller : How much? Chandler Bing : Well, close to... Monica Geller : Whoa!!! Are you kidding me?! Rachel Green : Well what?! How-how much is it?!", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler want to get married but they can't agree on the details of their wedding. They argue over the type of food, dress, and money. Meanwhile, Phoebe suggests paying for the wedding herself, but Monica doesn't have enough money."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's enough for wedding scenario eight. Rachel Green : Ohh! Really?! Monica Geller : How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding! Rachel Green : Ohh, you guys are so made for each other. Chandler Bing : Well, you're not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding? Monica Geller : Ah, yeah! Chandler Bing : Well, come on, I've been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Hello, Mr. Chandler. Monica Geller : This is the most special day of our lives. Chandler Bing : No, I realize that honey, but I'm not gonna spend all of the money on one party.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are discussing wedding scenarios, with Monica expressing excitement about having a budget-friendly dream wedding. Chandler joins the conversation and reveals that he has been saving money for six years and wants to use it for his own future plans, not just for the wedding. Phoebe enters the scene and greets Chandler, adding to the discussion."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Honey, umm I-I love you, but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, we're only gonna get married once. Chandler Bing : Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no. Monica Geller : You-you're gonna have to put your foot down? Chandler Bing : Yes, I am! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, do you smell smoke? Rachel Green : Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, I'm serious. You don't smell it? Something's on fire.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are planning their wedding, but Chandler is resistant to Monica's ideas for a big celebration. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Joey exchange witty banter, and Rachel accidentally ignores Joey's concerns about a possible fire in the apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well no, I don't smell anything. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know what? It's probably just your burnin' loins. Ross Geller : Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about? Rachel Green : Nothing! Ross Geller : Damn, this coffee's cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? Rachel Green : Y'know, I can not believe you told him, Joey! Ross Geller : So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh? Rachel Green : Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! 'Sup? Phoebe Buffay : Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!", "summary": "Ross tries to heat up coffee on Rachel's loins, Joey makes a comment about her burning loins, and Rachel reveals she bought a book after breaking up with Ross. Meanwhile, Phoebe confronts Ross about heating up coffee on an old man."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Excuse me ladies. I'm sorry? Phoebe Buffay : My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon. Ross Geller : I gave him an extremely professional massage! Phoebe Buffay : He said you poked at him with wooden spoons. Ross Geller : Okay, so it wasn't uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop. Phoebe Buffay : Well, he's never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week! Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what? This is your fault! You're the one that didn't move his-his appointment. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's my fault?! You didn't have to massage him! You could've sent him away! You could've not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back! Ross Geller : He said he liked that!! Oh you're right, you're right. I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, what are you massaging an old man for?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Ross and Phoebe get into a argument over a client who received an unconventional massage from Ross, involving wooden spoons and a mop."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : His daughter was hot. Joey Tribbiani : Gotcha. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that. Chandler Bing : Ehh. Monica Geller : Eh, you work for that. Chandler Bing : Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding. Monica Geller : You do?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then that's what we're gonna do.", "summary": "The couple decides to spend all of their money on their dream wedding despite one person working hard for it, showing compromise and willingness to make each other happy."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, you're so sweet. Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff? Chandler Bing : Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college. Monica Geller : You thought about that? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : How many kids were we gonna have? Chandler Bing : Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy. Monica Geller : What else did you think about? Chandler Bing : Well, stuff like where'd we live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on it's collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old. Monica Geller : Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding. Chandler Bing : Sure you do.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss their future plans, including having two children, living in a small town outside of the city, and owning a cat with a bell collar. Monica doesn't want a big wedding, but Chandler insists she will change her mind."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, I want everything you just said. I want a marriage. Chandler Bing : You sure? Monica Geller : Uh-hmm. Chandler Bing : I love you so much. Monica Geller : I love you. Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin' about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, totally! Monica Geller : Oh good. Joey Tribbiani : Hello, Zelda. Rachel Green : Who are you supposed to be? Joey Tribbiani : The vicar!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss their future and decide they want to get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Do you even know what a vicar is? Joey Tribbiani : Like a goalie, right? Rachel Green : Yeah. Look Joey, it's enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and it's-I'm not-it's just not funny anymore! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm sorry. Rach I-Rach I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. Rachel Green : All right! Y'know what? That's it! You wanna do it?! Let's do it! Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Rachel Green : That's right, I wanna do it with you! I've been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things. Joey Tribbiani : I-I-I-I did? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ohh, I've been waitin' so long to get on that body! Joey Tribbiani : This body?", "summary": "Rachel and Joey engage in a flirtatious conversation, with Joey making inappropriate comments and Rachel growing increasingly frustrated. They eventually come to an agreement to have sex in a barn."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah that's right! Come on Joey; sex me up! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, you're startin' to sound like the butcher's wife there in-in chapter seven. Rachel Green : Oh, come on now, don't keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because you're in for a rough ride! Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to, I'm scared. Chandler Bing : Hey, you guys! Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : So, what do you think? Ross Geller : About what? Rachel Green : Yeah, what? Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Rachel tries to persuade Joey to have sex with her, but he refuses, citing a fear of being hurt. Chandler interrupts their conversation, and Ross joins in, asking what they are talking about."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Are you kidding? Okay, I'll give you a hint; I'll give you a hint. Joey Tribbiani : Eyes! No, no. Your eyes! No. Chandler's eyes! Chandler Bing : I got glasses! Ross Geller : Well, you-you've always had glasses. Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Ross Geller : Are you sure? Rachel Green : Yeah-yeah, did-didn't you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm... Joey Tribbiani : Feminine. Rachel Green : Yes! Chandler Bing : No!", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani argue about who has the prettier eyes, with Chandler revealing he now wears glasses. Ross Geller corrects him, saying he's always worn glasses. Rachel Green and Joey agree that Chandler's old glasses made him look feminine."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : You didn't think I used to wear glasses, right? Monica Geller : Of course! Phoebe Buffay : So what do you guys want for an engagement present? Chandler Bing : That's okay Pheebs, we're not having a party or anything, so you don't have to get us... Monica Geller : If someone wants to give us a present, we don't want to deprive them of that joy. Rachel Green : Oh, y'know what you should get 'em? One of those little uh, portable CD players. Monica Geller : Oh, I already have one.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are discussing his glasses, with Monica complimenting him on how they make him look sexy. Phoebe joins the conversation and asks what they would like as an engagement present, to which Chandler responds that they don't want a party or anything, but if someone wants to give them a gift, they would appreciate it. Rachel suggests getting them a portable CD player."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist. Rachel Green : Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey. Monica Geller : Hey, I know I what I want! Chandler Bing : What we want honey. Monica Geller : No, you don't want this. I want to have your grandmother's cookie recipe. Phoebe Buffay : You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe? Monica Geller : Uh-huh, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family? Chandler Bing : Dying people say the craziest things. Monica Geller : I wanted it for years! I was gonna make cookies for my children.", "summary": "Monica wants a cookie recipe from Phoebe's grandmother, who made her swear on her deathbed not to share it. Phoebe refuses to give it up, and Chandler makes light of the situation by bringing up absurd reasons why people might want the recipe when they die."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Break my heart-Oh, all right. Monica Geller : Okay. I'm gonna be the mom that makes the world's best chocolate chip cookies. Chandler Bing : Our kids are gonna be fat aren't they. Joey Tribbiani : Ahoy! Chandler Bing : Hey! How's the boat?! Joey Tribbiani : Great! I'm finally getting into this sailing stuff. Monica Geller : Oh, so you finally took it out of the marina huh? Joey Tribbiani : Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there! Phoebe Buffay : If you don't sail your boat, what do you do on it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's great! It's a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips.", "summary": "Monica makes the best chocolate chip cookies, and Chandler jokes that their kids will be fat. Joey loves sailing and has taken his boat out of the marina, while Phoebe wonders what he does on it besides drinking and eating."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, it's good that you finally have a place to do that. Rachel Green : Y'know Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want. Joey Tribbiani : You could? Rachel Green : Yeah! I've been sailing my whole life. When I was fifteen my dad bought me my own boat. Phoebe Buffay : Your own boat? Rachel Green : What?! What?! He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick. Chandler Bing : Do you know what I was thinkin'? Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing, I just like to go like this. Ross Geller : Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?", "summary": "Rachel teaches Joey how to sail, and Phoebe is surprised to learn that Rachel had her own boat at 15. Monica asks Chandler what he's thinking, and Chandler responds by making a funny face. Ross asks Chandler what he's doing that night."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Uh why, do you have a lecture? Ross Geller : No, why? Chandler Bing : Then free as a bird. What's up? Ross Geller : My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us. Monica Geller : Wow! That's great! Dad must really like you, he doesn't ask just anyone to play. Ross Geller : Yeah and he didn't really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you. Chandler Bing : Well, did-did you correct him? Ross Geller : No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way. Monica Geller : This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week. Ross Geller : Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.", "summary": "Ross's dad invites Chandler to play racquetball with them, but Chandler misunderstands and assumes he meant \"Chancy.\" When Ross corrects him, Chandler decides not to correct him and instead goes along with it. Monica thinks this could be a regular activity for them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, just so you know, you-you have to let him win. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : He hates to lose. Chandler Bing : Oh no problem, maybe I'll play with my left hand. Ross Geller : You're not a lefty? Chandler Bing : Does anybody know me?! Monica Geller : What's wrong Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up! Monica Geller : No!! Why didn't you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!! Phoebe Buffay : Because I'm normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler play a game of darts, with Monica insisting that Ross must let Chandler win to avoid hurting his feelings. Meanwhile, Phoebe returns from her old apartment, only to discover that the fire has destroyed the cookie recipe she was supposed to give to Monica as an engagement present."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, we have to get you an engagement present? Chandler Bing : Don't worry about it Pheebs. Ross Geller : No one got me an engagement present. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. Chandler Bing : An old cookie? Monica Geller : This is what happens when you don't register for gifts! Phoebe Buffay : See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left. Chandler Bing : We can't accept this. Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Chandler Bing : 'Cause it's gross.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler don't get each other engagement gifts, while Phoebe gives Ross a stale cookie she froze earlier. Monica notes that they should have registered for gifts."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No! Wait! I think I can figure out the recipe from this cookie! I do stuff like this at work all the time. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Monica Geller : Yeah! I bet I can do it. Chandler Bing : Okay, we owe you a present. Ross Geller : Two! I've been engaged twice! Joey Tribbiani : Look at this clown! Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way jackass! Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway? Rachel Green : That is the Coast Guard. Joey Tribbiani : What are they doing out here? The coast's all the way over there. Rachel Green : Joey, just ignore the boats all right? We're not finished with the lesson yet. Joey Tribbiani : All right.", "summary": "Monica tries to figure out a recipe from a cookie and claims she does similar things at work. Phoebe thinks Monica can do it. Chandler offers a present, and Ross reveals he's been engaged twice. Joey insults Ross's boat and argues with Rachel about boats on the river."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, I'm just gonna go over the basic points just one more time, are you ready? Joey Tribbiani : Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Let's start sailing, and I want to go over there where that boatload of girls is! Yo-ho-ho! Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, let's do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, what's this called? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, boat rope. Rachel Green : Wrong! How do you get the mainsail up? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, rub it? Rachel Green : No. What do you do if I say we are coming about? Joey Tribbiani : I'd say, come again. No-no, wait I-I-I know this one, I know this one, uh... Rachel Green : Time's up, now your dead. Joey Tribbiani : And deaf!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey are on a sailboat and discussing sailing terms and techniques. They also engage in a series of silly exchanges, including calling out to a group of women on another boat and attempting to explain how to raise the mainsail. Finally, Rachel ends their conversation by saying \"Time's up, now you're dead\" and Joey responds with \"And deaf!\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Rachel Green : Don't just say yes! This isn't a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?! Joey Tribbiani : I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler. Monica Geller : All right, I definitely taste nutmeg. Phoebe Buffay : You do? Monica Geller : You don't? Well, that's the difference between a professional and a layman. Phoebe Buffay : That and arrogance. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey! How was sailing?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel warns Joey about the dangers of sailing without proper knowledge, while Chandler makes a ship-to-shore call and Phoebe tastes nutmeg."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to talk about it. Y'know, you could've at least saved me a whole cookie. Monica Geller : No-wait-no-no!!!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Women are mean!!! Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmother's legacy is this crumb. I wish you a long and happy marriage. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey! How was it? Ross Geller : Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand... Chandler Bing : I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad. Ross Geller : And what did he ask you not to call him? Chandler Bing : Daddy. All right look, here's the story. Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. So I take off my glasses and that's when in happened.", "summary": "Joey doesn't want to talk about something, Monica gets upset, Phoebe loses a cookie, Ross has a great time at Chandler's birthday party but Chandler accidentally calls him \"dad,\" and Chandler tells a steamy story about their racquetball game."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Guys? Ross Geller : Over here. Jack Geller : Have a seat son. Hey!! Monica Geller : Oh my God Chandler! I can't believe it! Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : You gave my father a lap dance! Chandler Bing : Why do they put so much steam in there?! Ross Geller : 'Cause otherwise they'd have to call it the room room. Chandler Bing : Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen? Phoebe Buffay : Come on, it's not that big a deal!", "summary": "Chandler gives Monica's father a lap dance, causing chaos and confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Not that big a deal? There...there was touching of things. Ross Geller : Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part? Monica Geller : Listen, I'm sure that dad doesn't care. He probably thought this was funny; he'll be telling this story for years! Chandler Bing : I don't want him to tell this story for years. Ross Geller : Oh, but he will. He still tells the story how Monica tried to escape from fat camp. Monica Geller : I wasn't escaping. Ross Geller : Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire? Monica Geller : I was trying to help out a squirrel. Ross Geller : You were trying to eat it! Chandler Bing : If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!", "summary": "Monica tries to bond with Ross's dad by touching his things without permission. Ross and Chandler find out and tease her about it. Monica denies it but admits she was trying to help a squirrel stuck in barbed wire."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Come on. Hello? I'm sorry you have the wrong number. Okay, I'll call you later dad. I love you. Chandler Bing : All right, I'm off to see your dad. Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa, aren't you a little over dressed? Rachel Green : Yeah, and-and you better make sure he tips you this time. Chandler Bing : Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to face-And by face I don't mean his lap. And by face, I don't mean my ass. Ross Geller : Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present? Rachel Green : I don't know. Y'know, they didn't get us anything. Ross Geller : Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to convince Ross not to tell a certain story anymore, while Rachel and Joey discuss gifts for their engagement."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well hello! So, when are we gettin' back out on the water matey? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, I don't know the boat way to say this, but uh never! Rachel Green : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : Because! You're mean on the boat! Rachel Green : What? I was just trying to teach you. Joey Tribbiani : Well, lesson learned! Rachel is mean! Ross Geller : Yeeeeeep... Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dad's boat she wouldn't let me help at all. Rachel Green : Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldn't move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets. Ross Geller : You have to respect the sea! Rachel Green : Look Joey, I'm sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.", "summary": "Rachel wants to go back out on the water with Joey, but he refuses, claiming she's mean. Ross reminds Rachel of the time she took him out on her dad's boat and wouldn't let him help, despite his multiple life jackets. Rachel clarifies that she was just trying to teach Joey and that her father is actually mean, as he used to yell at her while boating."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Does a good teacher say, \"Put down the beer pinhead!?\" Rachel Green : Well, does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson? Joey Tribbiani : Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember? Rachel Green : Yeah, I didn't want you to get hit by the boom! Joey Tribbiani : Well it hit me anyway! And it would've hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer. Rachel Green : All right, y'know what? I-I'm sorry. I will try to tone it down and uh stop yelling. Joey Tribbiani : You won't boss me around anymore? Rachel Green : I won't boss you around. Joey Tribbiani : And you'll be nice? Rachel Green : And, I'll be nice.", "summary": "Joey and Rachel have a funny conversation about a student who drank seven beers during his first lesson, and how it would have hurt less if Joey had finished his last beer before getting hit by a boom. They both apologize to each other and agree to tone down their behavior and be nicer to each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And you'll be topless? Rachel Green : And-Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Do you want me to learn?! Monica Geller : Okay, here's batch 22. Ohh, maybe these'll taste a little like your grandmother's. This has a little bit of orange peel, but no nutmeg. Ross Geller : Let's give it a shot. Monica Geller : Okay. Man, I have not made this many cookies since I was in the ninth grade. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale? Monica Geller : No, just a Friday night. Ross Geller : Ohh, these are pretty good. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.", "summary": "Ross and Monica make cookies for a Friday night gathering, with Joey expressing surprise at Rachel's toplessness, while Phoebe compares the cookies to ones she made in ninth grade."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Which one was that? Monica Geller : The ones we had right after you almost threw up. Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Batch 17 was good. I did not like batch 16. I'm okay. Phoebe Buffay : Are there anymore from the good batch? 'Cause we could just work off of those. Ross Geller : Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh... It's batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! Rachel Green : Okay Joey honey, you're doing really good! All right, now I'm just gonna need you to step to the port side. Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side? Joey Tribbiani : Ohh yeah. Rachel Green : Right? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Rachel Green : It's left sweetie, but that's okay sweetie, that's a tough one.", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss previous batches of food they had, with Ross preferring batch 17 and disliking batch 16. Phoebe suggests using only the good batch from 17, but Ross mistakes it for batch 16. Rachel tries to help Joey with a left-right confusion during a dance routine."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I don't know why you just don't say left. Rachel Green : Okay, go to the left. The left! Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Rachel Green : Just sit over there!! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Okay, you're yelling again! See that? Rachel Green : No! No-no, no-no-no, very quiet, said with love, no yelling. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know what? Since I'm here, I think I'm gonna have me a little beer on the port side. Rachel Green : Okay Joey, we're luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didn't know there. Rachel Green : Joey, come on! We just went over this!", "summary": "Joey and Rachel discuss navigation and yelling."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know, when we did that was when that bird was flying overhead with the fish in his mouth. Did you see it? It was gross! Rachel Green : No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do! Joey Tribbiani : All right that's it! You're yelling and I don't see you taking your top off! I quit! Rachel Green : What do you mean you quit?! You can't quit! Joey Tribbiani : Why not?! Rachel Green : Because you're not finished yet and I won't have it! Greens do not quit! Joey Tribbiani : Greens? I'm a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit! Rachel Green : Oh my God, wait did I-I just said Greens don't quit didn't I? Did I just say Greens don't quit?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes! You did and you're still yelling at me! Rachel Green : No! No! No! I'm not yelling at you, I'm just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh I'm my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! I've been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin'. Oh, Joey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey and Rachel's attempts to teach each other various skills, with mixed results. Joey quits after Rachel becomes frustrated with his lack of progress, and the two engage in a series of exchanges that end with Rachel expressing her regret and apology for not being able to help Joey learn."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, hey I did learn. Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Come on. Rachel Green : Awww... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's okay. I know what a mainsail is. I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right. Rachel Green : Left. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that we're trying to figure out her recipe. I bet she's l-l-lookin' up at us and smiling right now. Ross Geller : Looking up? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah-No, she was really nice to me, but she's in hell for sure.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Rachel try to help each other learn about sailing terminology, but they keep making mistakes. Phoebe suggests that their grandmothers would be happy to know they are trying to follow their recipes, despite being in hell."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, I've tried everything. I give up. I guess I'm not gonna be the mom who makes the world's best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right. Ross Geller : Aww, Pheeb, come on isn't there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And that's not happening 'til October 15th, 2032. Ross Geller : That's the day you're gonna die? See-darnit, I've got shuffleboard that day. Phoebe Buffay : That's what you think. Monica Geller : Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmother's? Wouldn't they have the recipe? Phoebe Buffay : Well, y'know I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse. Monica Geller : What was her name? Phoebe Buffay : Nesele Toulouse. Monica Geller : Nestle Tollhouse?!", "summary": "Monica tries to make the world's best chocolate cookies but gives up after trying everything. Ross suggests finding a relative with the recipe, but Phoebe refuses as she made a promise to herself not to speak to a certain relative until 2032. Monica then suggests asking friends of her grandmother's for the recipe, but Phoebe has relatives in France who may know."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language. Monica Geller : Phoebe, is this the recipe? Phoebe Buffay : Yes!! Ohh. Monica Geller : I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time! Phoebe Buffay : I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why you're burning in hell!! Chandler Bing : So you understand, I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you didn't tell people what happened. Y'know, I'm a little...I'm a little embarrassed about it. Jack Geller : I understand completely, there's nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer. Chandler Bing : What did you do when they found out? Jack Geller : They never did, so if ever see me giving them legal advice just nod along. Shall we? Chandler Bing : So I guess we wear swimsuits in here!", "summary": "Monica finds a recipe in her cupboard that she had been searching for days and thanks Phoebe for pointing it out. Phoebe teases Monica about butchering the French language. Chandler is embarrassed about his recent mishap with his in-laws and Jack Geller offers advice on how to handle the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. Hey, why don't you give a pull on that rope? Rachel Green : Ohh we're not sailing. Joey Tribbiani : Just pull on it. Rachel Green : All right. Hey-hey-hey!! Sandwiches! Joey Tribbiani : What else? Rachel Green : Here you go. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Rachel Green : Oh wow! Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing?", "summary": "Rachel and Joey are sailing together when Rachel realizes she's having more fun Joey's way of sailing. Joey suggests Rachel try pulling on a rope, but they soon realize they are not actually sailing. They then discuss sandwiches and thank each other for them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ohh, sorry. Joey Tribbiani : What you-don't hold it like that! You're lettin' all the good stuff fall out. Rachel Green : Ohh whoops. Joey Tribbiani : Careful! You're wasting good pastrami! Oh my God! I'm my dad! Mac : Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives don't mix. C.H.E.E.S.E. : You can say that again Mac. Mac : Well, I couldn't have done it without you buddy. You're a genius. C.H.E.E.S.E. : Oh yeah? Well then how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00? Joey Tribbiani : So, what did you guys think? Monica Geller : Hello? Hold on please. Joey, it's your mom.", "summary": "Rachel spills pastrami while eating with Joey, who corrects her. Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. discuss the dangers of cheerleaders and explosives, before Mac compliments C.H.E.E.S.E. on their genius. Joey's mom calls him, and Monica joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It's your mommy. It's your mommy. Ross Geller : Ohhhh... Rachel Green : That's nice. Joey Tribbiani : Mom, so what did you think? Rachel Green : Well that was umm...Okay. Ross Geller : It wasn't the best. Chandler Bing : That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV. Monica Geller : Wh-what are we gonna tell him? Ross Geller : Well, the lighting was okay. Rachel Green : Ohh no you don't! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler try to convince Monica to tell their friend that his mother's performance on TV was terrible. Meanwhile, Rachel tries to claim credit for the lighting."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : And I have costumes. Ross Geller : Oh great! That means I'm stuck with, \"So, we were watching you in there and you were sittin' right here! Whoa!\" Rachel Green : What are you gonna do Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I don't know. I can't lie to him again. Oh no I-no! I'm just gonna press my breasts up against him. Chandler Bing : And say nothing? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah that's right. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? It wasn't that good. Monica Geller : Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you? Phoebe Buffay : What? You mean behind my back? Rachel Green : Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! You'll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and...", "summary": "Ross and Monica have costumes, leading to Ross's embarrassment with a past encounter. Phoebe is unsure of how to handle a situation with Chandler. Meanwhile, Rachel has an unexpected experience in her office and shares it with the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You guys! You guys! You're not gonna believe what my agent just told me! Rachel Green : Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go. Rachel Green : Okay, so anyway I'm sittin' in my office and guess who walks in. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna be on two TV shows! Monica Geller : Oh, that's great!! Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you weren't finished? Rachel Green : Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. It was Ralph Lauren! Ralph Lauren walked into my office! Joey Tribbiani : Uh Rach, if you're gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani tells Rachel Green about his agent's recent announcement that he will be on two TV shows. Monica Geller congratulates him. Rachel then shares her own exciting news - Ralph Lauren walked into her office."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It's the same story. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, it's really long. Rachel Green : Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that he's so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail. Monica Geller : Still get a discount on wedding dresses? Rachel Green : Yeah! Monica Geller : I'm so happy for you! Joey Tribbiani : Well, these really are the days of our lives. Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God!", "summary": "Rachel Green is offered a new job as merchandising manager for Polo Retail, and Monica Geller is happy for her. Joey Tribbiani jokes about being asked back to act on the soap opera \"Days of Our Lives.\" Phoebe Buffay reacts with disbelief."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I got-I get a big pay raise! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! Joey Tribbiani : I'll be playing Drake Remoray's twin brother, Stryker! Monica Geller : Oooh! Rachel Green : I get to hire my own assistant! Monica Geller : Ahhh!! Joey Tribbiani : Well-I got a head rush from standing up to fast right there. Rachel Green : And you were at this job for four years? Hilda : That's right. Rachel Green : Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?", "summary": "Rachel gets a pay raise and hires her own assistant, while Joey plays Drake Remoray's twin brother in a new job. Monica is excited but also anxious about the new development. Hilda shares her experience at the company over four years. Rachel asks for feedback on her performance, and Hilda provides it."}
-{"dialogues": "Hilda : What? Rachel Green : I've never interviewed anyone before. I've actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isn't the same thing. Hilda : No dear. It's not. Rachel Green : No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you. Hilda : Thank you! Good meeting you. Rachel Green : All right. I'm a total pro! Man : Hello? Rachel Green : Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh I'm sorry the models are actually down the hall. Man : Actually, I'm here about the assistant job. Rachel Green : Really?! Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so what's-what is-what's your name?", "summary": "Rachel Green interviews for an assistant position and is nervous about it, despite having never interviewed anyone before. Hilda, the person being interviewed, reassures her that it's not the same as having a maid when she was a kid. The two chat briefly before Rachel thanks Hilda and they part ways. A man then enters and inquires about the modeling job, which is located down the hall."}
-{"dialogues": "Man : Tag Jones. Rachel Green : Uh-huh, go on. Tag Jones : That's it. That's my whole name. Rachel Green : That's your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well let's-let's just have a look-see here. Tag Jones : I know I haven't worked in an office before, and I really don't have a lot of experience, but uh... Rachel Green : Oh come on, what are you talking about? You've got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Friday's, come on! Tag Jones : It's lame, I know. But I'm a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn... Rachel Green : Okay, hold on just a second. I'm sorry, it's for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please? Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no. Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.", "summary": "Tag Jones wants to get a job in HR but has no experience and only three years of painting houses. Rachel Green tries to convince him to stand up for his interview, but he feels it's lame and lacks enthusiasm. Meanwhile, Chandler Bing interrupts and Phoebe Buffay decides to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey sweetie. Chandler Bing : Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering? Monica Geller : I can't tell you. It's a secret. Chandler Bing : Secret? Married people aren't supposed to have secrets between one another. We have too much love and respect for one another. Monica Geller : Awww. But still no. Chandler Bing : No I'm serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you. Monica Geller : Really? Okay, so why don't you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no, I can't do that. Monica Geller : If you tell me, I'll tell you what Phoebe said. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a secret, which they reveal to each other in this conversation. Monica asks Chandler to share a secret with her in return, but he refuses, saying that married people should not keep secrets from each other. Monica presses him further, offering to tell him something about Ross's past in exchange for him sharing something about his own past. However, Chandler remains evasive and maintains that he cannot share the secret with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, we're on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy. Monica Geller : Oh my God. He threw up? Chandler Bing : No, he visited a little town south of throw up. So what was Phoebe's secret? Monica Geller : Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebe's old massage place is getting fired. Chandler Bing : That's it?! I gave up my Disneyland story for that? Monica Geller : That's right! You lose sucker!! Please still marry me. Rachel Green : Chandler, you have an assistant right? Chandler Bing : Did she call? You-you told her I was sick right? Always tell her I am sick! Rachel Green : No, I-I just don't know how you decide who to hire. I mean I've got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then there's this guy...", "summary": "Ross and Chandler go to Disneyland, but Ross becomes ill on Space Mountain. Phoebe's massage therapist gets fired, and Monica and Rachel discuss hiring an assistant for Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What about him? Rachel Green : I love him. He's so pretty I wanna cry! I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do. Phoebe Buffay : Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You don't hire an assistant because they're cute, you hire them because they're qualified. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. No, I hear what you're saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? Look how pretty! Phoebe Buffay : Let's see. Oh my God! Oh... But no! No! You can't-you can't hire him, because that-it's not professional. Umm, this is for me yes? Thanks. Rachel Green : Okay you're right. I'll hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb old perfect for the job Hilda! Chandler Bing : Let me see this guy. W-H-Wow! Don't show this to Monica! And don't tell her about the W-H-Wow! Terry : Hey-hey-hey Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Terry! Terry : Good to see you again!", "summary": "Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay discuss hiring an assistant, with Rachel being distracted by the candidate's physical appearance. Chandler Bing joins the conversation and is shown a photo of the candidate, leading to awkward reactions from the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It's been a while, huh? Wow, it's funny these halls look smaller then they used to. Terry : It's a different building. Joey Tribbiani : So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start? Terry : Why don't we start right now! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Terry : Here are the audition scenes. Joey Tribbiani : Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part. Terry : Why would you think that? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Stryker's twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right? Terry : Everybody has to audition.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Terry are discussing a new project, with Joey expecting to be offered a part without auditioning due to his previous role as Dr. Drake Remoray, Stryker's twin brother. However, Terry informs him that everyone must audition."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Y'know Terry, I-I don't really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, with a robot. Terry : I'm sorry Joey that's...that's the way it is. Joey Tribbiani : Well. I guess you think you're pretty special huh? Sittin' up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin' stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well y'know what? This is one star who's hoop... This is a star that the hoop-this hoop-I was Dr. Drake Remoray! Rachel Green : Hi! Tag. What are you doing here? Tag Jones : I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there aren't any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first... There is a plant in your office. Rachel Green : Kinda. Tag Jones : Right. So I guess I shouldn't put good at noticing stuff on my resume. Rachel Green : Oh-ohh, thank you. Tag Jones : Anyway, I'm guessing you hired somebody. Rachel Green : Well...", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is frustrated with Terry, who has rejected his TV show idea. Joey belittles Terry and questions why he is in charge. Tag Jones enters to thank Rachel for not laughing at him earlier, but she reveals that there is already a plant in her office."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Gotcha. Thanks again for meeting with me. Rachel Green : But I hired you! Tag Jones : What? Rachel Green : Yeah! You-you got the job! You're my new assistant! Tag Jones : I am?! Rachel Green : Yeah! Tag Jones : I can't believe it! Rachel Green : Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey! Good, you're home!", "summary": "Tag Jones is hired as Rachel Green's new assistant, but he is surprised and confused when she tells him to find a woman named Hilda and tell her to go home."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh it's always nicer to here than, \"Aw crap! You again!\" Monica Geller : Hey baby. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : I made you a surprise. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story I've had such a craving for them. Chandler Bing : Did you not understand the story? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! What's up? Monica Geller : Ross!", "summary": "Tacos are mentioned and Monica makes a surprise for Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, nothin' much. Just trying to figure out what I'm gonna do for dinner. Chandler Bing : Huh. Ross Geller : Hey-Ooh! What's-what's that, dinner stuff? You making dinner? Chandler Bing : No! Shhh! Ross Geller : What you got over there? Tacos? Monica Geller : No! No. They're umm... They're just uh...ground beef smileys. Ross Geller : Uhh, those are tacos. Monica Geller : Excuse me Mr. Mexico. Ross Geller : Eh, either way I'll pass. I still can't eat those. What's so funny?! Monica Geller : I'm not laughing.", "summary": "Ross tries to decide what to have for dinner, while Chandler hides something in his lap. Monica reveals that she has ground beef smileys (tacos) but Ross declines, citing a food allergy."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You told her! Chandler Bing : Nancy Thompson's getting fired! Ross Geller : Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! It's not like I choose to do it! It's not like-It's not like I said, \"Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!\" Monica Geller : You're right. I mean I'm sorry. Yeah, I shouldn't be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! Ross Geller : How could you tell her?! Chandler Bing : I had too okay?! We're getting married! Married couples can't keep secrets from one another! Ross Geller : Oh really? Well I-I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City. Chandler Bing : Du-ude! Monica Geller : What happened in Atlantic City?! Ross Geller : Well, Chandler and I are in a bar...", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss Nancy Thompson getting fired, with Ross claiming he had food poisoning and Chandler revealing he was the one who told Monica about their secret trip to Atlantic City."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Did you not hear me say, \"Du-ude?!\" Ross Geller : And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking, Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and you're right, Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with...girls. Monica Geller : You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God. Chandler Bing : In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy. Ross Geller : Oh Mon, I laughed so hard... Chandler Bing : Ho-ho, so hard we had to throw out your underwear again? Ross Geller : Whatever dude, you kissed a guy. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey-Ooh, how's Hilda? Is she working out?", "summary": "Chandler kisses a man in a bar."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ohh, my new assistant is working out, yes. Joey Tribbiani : Was she happy you gave her the job? Rachel Green : Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? It's the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next week's script. Canceled?! Like they're taking it off the air? Ohh. All right, see you Monday. We're not even shootin' them anymore?!! All right, bye! They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry. Rachel Green : I'm sorry Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?! Chandler Bing : You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers! Ross Geller : All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won! Chandler Bing : Ross came in forth and cried!", "summary": "Rachel hires a new assistant who is happy with the job. Joey gets called away by producers for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. who are canceling the show. Phoebe expresses her sadness, and Chandler shares secrets about Ross and himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too! Monica Geller : I-I already told him everything! You shush!! Ross Geller : Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box she'd made. Monica Geller : Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls! Ross Geller : Monica couldn't tell time 'til she was 13! Monica Geller : It's hard for some people! Chandler Bing : Of course it is. Wow-whoa! Monica Geller : Chandler one time wore my underwear to work! Chandler Bing : Hey!!!", "summary": "Monica reveals a childhood secret to Ross, who shares his own (watching Golden Girls). Chandler and Monica share a humorous anecdote about her wearing his underwear to work."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ohh, I'm sorry I couldn't think of anymore for Ross! Ross Geller : Ohh! Ohh! In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm! Chandler Bing : That was you! Ross Geller : Whatever dude, you kissed a guy. Joey Tribbiani : How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin'! Rachel Green : Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well they might be a little mad at me over there. Phoebe Buffay : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go. Rachel Green : Joey, why would you do that?", "summary": "Chandler reveals he slept with the dorm cleaner in college, while Ross kissed a guy. Joey has lost his TV gigs and Phoebe threatens to tell \"them\" where they can go."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Because they wanted me to audition! Phoebe Buffay : You! An actor?! That's madness! Tag Jones : Rachel Green's office. Rachel Green : Tag? Hi, who was that? Tag Jones : Nobody. I was just practicing. Rachel Green : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Tag Jones : Hi! Rachel Green's office. Phoebe Buffay : You must be Hilda. Rachel Green : Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second?", "summary": "Tag Jones goes to Rachel Green's office and practices his lines while Phoebe Buffay is there. Joey Tribbiani arrives and tells them that he was asked to audition. Phoebe is skeptical of Joey's acting abilities, and Rachel greets Tag but can't remember who he is."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Phoebe! That's a great name. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number. Rachel Green : Okay. We'll be right back. Phoebe Buffay : So you hired yourself a little treat did ya? Rachel Green : All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but I'm telling you... Phoebe Buffay : But-but you know you cannot get involved with your assistant. Rachel Green : Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that I've ever done. But I'm telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. Yes? Kathy : Hey Rachel! Rachel Green : Hi! Kathy : Cute assistant! What's his story? Is he...", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Green discuss Phoebe's phone number, with Phoebe making a suggestive comment. They are interrupted by Kathy, who inquires about Rachel's new assistant and whether or not he is \"cute\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Gay? Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Terry. Terry : Joey Tribbiani! I'm surprised your big head could fit through our small halls! I gotta go Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Wait! Terry! Wait-Look-Wait I-I... Look, I'm really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking I'm too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance. Terry : I can't help you Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake. Nurse #1 : This poor guy's been in a coma for five years. It's hopeless. Nurse #2 : It's not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remoray's a miracle worker. Look, here he comes. Dr. Stryker Remoray : Good morning. Drake, it's your brother Stryker. Can you hear me? The Director : And cut!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani tries to audition for a role in a play but is rejected by the director, Terry. Joey apologizes and begs for another chance, but Terry refuses. Meanwhile, a coma patient named Drake has been unconscious for five years and his brother Stryker Remoray is trying to revive him with the help of nurse #2."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm back baby! Ha-ha-ha! Monica Geller : Y'know, in my defense, umm there was no glitter on the macaroni and very little glue. Ross Geller : And in my defense, the cleaning lady came on to me! Chandler Bing : You have no trouble telling time now right? Monica Geller : No! Chandler Bing : Quick! What time is it?! Monica Geller : I don't know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! What are you laughing at Pampers? Chandler Bing : Y'know when I said that because we're getting married that we should share everything and not have any secrets? Monica Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Yeah that was stupid. Let's not do that.", "summary": "Monica and Joey are back from their trip and argue about who got glitter on their macaroni; Ross brags about the cleaning lady flirting with him; Chandler has trouble telling time and asks for help from Monica, who suggests they kiss a guy at the wrong time; Chandler admits he was foolish when he suggested sharing everything with Monica before they get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ohh, absolutely. Ross Geller : And! We should keep all the stuff uh, we told each other secret from everybody else. Monica Geller : Yeah, definitely! Ross Geller : Okay, if you'll excuse me, I-I'm gonna go hang out with some people who don't know the Space Mountain story. Monica Geller : Then, I'd steer clear of Phoebe. Ross Geller : Man! Chandler Bing : Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldn't hang out with...all the guys in my office. Rachel Green : Hi! Tag Jones : Do you have a minute? Rachel Green : Well yeah, sure, what's up?", "summary": "Ross and Monica keep secrets from everyone else, including Phoebe, while Chandler avoids hanging out with his coworkers due to a embarrassing story."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch...by guys. Rachel Green : Oh really?! Tag Jones : Yeah. Did you tell someone that I was gay? Rachel Green : Oh, did you not want people to know that? Tag Jones : But I'm not gay. And I especially wouldn't want you to think I was gay. Rachel Green : Why's that? Tag Jones : I don't think I should say. Rachel Green : Ohh, you can say. Come on, I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things. Tag Jones : Okay. Rachel Green : 'Kay.", "summary": "Tag was asked out twice today by guys, despite being straight. He doesn't want Rachel to think he's gay and reveals his sexual orientation to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Well... Rachel Green : Yeah. Tag Jones : I'd love to ask out your friend Phoebe. Rachel Green : Yeah, she's gay. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : What's the matter? Chandler Bing : Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh Willie's still alive! Chandler Bing : What are you guys doing? Monica Geller : Oh, my mom called, they're gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so we're looking for a good picture of us.", "summary": "Tag Jones wants to ask out Phoebe, but she's gay. Chandler gets upset when someone licks his neck on the subway."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oooh, I'm afraid that does not exist. Monica Geller : That's not true, there are great pictures of us! Chandler Bing : No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy who's going like this... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! That's the creep that you're with at the Statue of Liberty. Chandler Bing : I don't know what it is, I just can't take a good picture. Monica Geller : Oh, here's a great one. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm not in that. Monica Geller : I know, but look at me all tan. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, why don't you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer. Monica Geller : That's a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Y'know...", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group goes to a photo shoot and Chandler struggles to take good pictures, while Monica shows off her tan and Phoebe suggests hiring a professional photographer."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's great! Next to that, Chandler won't look so stupid. Monica Geller : Chandler what do you say? Chandler Bing : All right, but I should warn you, I'm not going. I'm going. Ross Geller : Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh... Chandler Bing : How about those three pointers? Ross Geller : Amazing! Chandler Bing : And those guys were this close to lettin' us play this time too. Rachel Green : Hey look-look, Phoebe's talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy. Ross Geller : Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.", "summary": "Chandler refuses to play in a basketball game with Phoebe and Monica, despite their efforts to convince him. Meanwhile, Rachel flirts with a cute coffee shop guy while Ross has a nickname for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out! Rachel Green : Hey, I thought that guy was married. Phoebe Buffay : He is! But he's getting divorced-Ross! Maybe you know him. Ross Geller : It's not a club. Rachel Green : Phoebe, if this guy's going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him? Ross Geller : Hey, divorced men are not bad men! Chandler Bing : They have that on the napkins at the club. Rachel Green : Oh, I gotta get back to work. Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to be back for a half-hour! Rachel Green : Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.", "summary": "Hums While He Pees asks Phoebe out, but she reveals he's getting divorced. Rachel questions whether it's a good idea to date him, while Ross defends divorced men and Chandler makes a napkin joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean y'know you can't date him right? Rachel Green : Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife. Ross Geller : Soon he'll be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired. Rachel Green : I am not gonna get fired, because I'm not gonna act on it. Phoebe Buffay : So you wouldn't mind if he was dating someone else? Rachel Green : Why? Is he? He is! Isn't he? He's dating that slut in marketing! Ross Geller : Maybe I should open a divorced men's club. Chandler Bing : Dude that is so sad. Ross Geller : I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back. Chandler Bing : Could I play?", "summary": "Rachel hires her crush as an intern, despite not being able to date him. Ross jokes that she's his work wife and Phoebe wonders if Rachel would mind if he dated someone else. Chandler makes a sad comment about divorced men's clubs, and Ross suggests he could add a basketball court in the back for Chandler to play in."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, no sit-ups today Tag? Tag Jones : I just did them. Rachel Green : Oh, well drop and give me ten more! Tag Jones : What? Rachel Green : Uh, I-I had a drink with lunch. Did those cost reports come in? Tag Jones : Yeah, I filled them out last night? Rachel Green : Oh, great could you make me four copies of those? Melissa Warburton : Hey Rachel! Rachel Green : Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, what's up? I'm just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Y'know, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. What's up? Melissa Warburton : Umm, is Tag here?", "summary": "Rachel wants Tag to do sit-ups, but he refuses. She asks him for reports, and he says he filled them out last night. Melissa walks in and asks if Tag is there."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No. Why? Melissa Warburton : Oh, I was gonna talk to him about doing something tonight. Rachel Green : Really?! Got a little crush on Tag there do ya? Melissa Warburton : Well, we've been flirting back and forth, but I was hoping that tonight it would turn into something a little more than that. Rachel Green : Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This ain't a locker room, okay? But, y'know I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight. Melissa Warburton : Oh no! Rachel Green : Oh yeah. All right, back to work. Melissa Warburton : Hey! Isn't that Tag's backpack. Rachel Green : Yeah Melissa, I don't want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor. The Photographer : Great! That's great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?", "summary": "Melissa wants to talk to Tag about something tonight, but Rachel reminds her that Tag already has plans. Melissa then notices Tag's backpack in the office and asks Rachel to call his supervisor."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. The Photographer : I'm sorry, is the seat uncomfortable? Chandler Bing : No, I am. Monica Geller : Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile. Chandler Bing : I do? Monica Geller : Yeah! All right, maybe you don't have to smile. Let's try something else. Let's try umm, try looking sexy. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Or not. Rachel Green : Hi Joey! What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, well I've got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. You got an extra one?", "summary": "Chandler Bing is uncomfortable and Monica Geller tries to help him by suggesting he smile or look sexy for a photograph. Rachel Green interrupts them and Joey Tribbiani enters with a stain on his shirt."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, sure. Umm...here. Joey Tribbiani : Great. You got anything that's not Ralph Lauren? Rachel Green : Yeah, I don't think so Joe. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I guess this will be fine. Rachel Green : Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing, why? Rachel Green : How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? I'll pay. Joey Tribbiani : Huh, Rach I got to say it's gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude. Rachel Green : I'm not asking you to go on a date with him! Joey Tribbiani : Really? 'Cause I could kinda use the money.", "summary": "Rachel asks Joey if he would be interested in taking her assistant Tag out on a date for money. Joey is hesitant at first but then expresses interest."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey, just-just he-he's new in town and I know he doesn't have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. I'll really appreciate it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, okay. Rachel Green : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, no problem. Ooh-Hey, donuts! Rachel Green : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : I know. Let's try a look...of far off...wonderment. Okay, we'll-we'll gaze into our future and we'll think about our marriage and the days to come. Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say \"Geller and Bing to be married,\" not \"Local woman saves drowning moron!\" Hey! Don't laugh at him! He's my drowning moron! Chandler Bing : Aww! Monica Geller : That's it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Ross Geller : I like this one. It seems to say, \"I love you and that's why I have to kill you.\"", "summary": "Rachel tries to help Joey make friends by inviting him to a ball game, while Monica and Chandler gaze into their future and wonder about their marriage. Ross makes a dark comment about killing someone he loves."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : They can't all be bad. Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me? Monica Geller : Do you really want to pull at that thread? Phoebe Buffay : I'm having a really good time! The Cute Guy : Me too! I'm sorry that guy in the subway licked your neck. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. No that's okay, he's a friend. The Cute Guy : Hey uh, I don't mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I... Well y'know I-I mean I missed the-the semi-finals, so I'd just be lost. The Cute Guy : I know it's really lame, but I got these tickets from my boss and-Oh no! No! No! My God! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't freak out. I'll go.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over a photo of him making a suggestive face; Phoebe finds a cute guy in the subway and shares a funny story about him licking her neck; the cute guy offers Phoebe two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals, but he becomes flustered when she accepts."}
-{"dialogues": "The Cute Guy : No it's... Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I know. Hold on. Hey Ross? Ross Geller : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, umm that's Whitney , Kyle's ex-wife out there, now do you think that you can y'know divert her so that we can slip out? Ross Geller : What?! No! Phoebe Buffay : Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals. Ross Geller : Look, I don't think so Pheebs. All right, I'll do it. But just because you're a friend. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Ginger. Ross Geller : All right! I want my key back! Phoebe Buffay : I don't have it!", "summary": "Whitney, Kyle's ex-wife, is causing trouble for the group by being present at a social event. Ross agrees to help divert her attention away from the group so they can slip out unnoticed, but ultimately decides against it. Phoebe offers to give Ross her tickets to the ballroom dance finals as an alternative."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's right there! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, okay Sherlock! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyle's ex. Ross Geller : Oh yeah-No-You're welcome. We'll talk about it later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : Hi Whitney. Whitney : Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast? Ross Geller : Yep. Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Kyle's ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!", "summary": "Ross tries to cover for his mistake of dating Kyle's ex-wife by telling Phoebe he was just trying to help."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi! I'm sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night. Whitney : Sure. Ross Geller : Okay. I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Watching ballroom dancing? Ross Geller : Yes! That's where we realized we were both super cool people! Phoebe Buffay : Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her. Ross Geller : Like what? Phoebe Buffay : Like she's really mean, and she's over critical, and-and-No! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you! Ross Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : And! She uses sex as a weapon!", "summary": "Ross talks to a woman while Whitney waits; they had a great time together despite diverting her. Phoebe expresses disbelief at Kyle's negative comments about the woman, who is mean and critical."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast I'll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons. Phoebe Buffay : You're still gonna go out with her?! Ross Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Well, didn't you just hear what I said?! Ross Geller : Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husband's gonna say that stuff. Now, if you'll excuse me... Phoebe Buffay : No listen to me! She is crazy! Whitney : Uh, your door isn't sound proof. Phoebe Buffay : You see? Nothing is good enough for her! Tag Jones : Good morning. Rachel Green : Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss Joey's ex-wife, who is crazy. Whitney mentions that Ross's door isn't soundproof. Tag greets Rachel in the morning."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Oh yeah! We went to the Knicks game. Rachel Green : Ohh that's nice. Tag Jones : Then we went to this bar and he hooked us up with all these women! Rachel Green : Wo-women? You mean like old women? Tag Jones : Well kinda old, like 30. Rachel Green : Oh. Tag Jones : And I never used to be able to just talk to girls in bars, but I got like 20 phone numbers last night. Rachel Green : That's great! Wow man, so Joey must've really taught you some stuff huh? Tag Jones : A little. Rachel Green : Yeah?", "summary": "Tag and Rachel went to a Knicks game and then a bar where Tag met women. He got 20 phone numbers."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : See? That's a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. You're changing it! Chandler Bing : I can't help it! Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots? Chandler Bing : Borrow money from me? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, first-first of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down , look down, keep looking down; then I look up. See? All right, now you try. Look down , you're looking down, keep looking down... Chandler Bing : Why is there jelly on your shoe? Joey Tribbiani : I had a donut. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nJoey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing discuss taking resume photos, with Joey pretending to look down and then up, while Chandler borrows money from him. Rachel Green joins the conversation, greeting Joey before he starts giving advice on posing for photos."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! That guy's all right! Rachel Green : Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Y'know, all the women. Joey Tribbiani : Hey well, you can't teach someone to be good with women. Y'know, that's why I never had any luck with Chandler. Chandler Bing : I'm right here! Rachel Green : All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, it's just-And I know he's my assistant and I can't date him-but it just bothers me, all right?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! No-no-no-no, you can't take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!", "summary": "Rachel is upset that Chandler and Joey had fun together last night without her. She accuses Joey of teaching Chandler how to be alluring to women, which Joey denies. Chandler becomes defensive, and Rachel asks him not to go out with Joey again. The conversation escalates, with both Rachel and Joey expressing their displeasure at the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'm still right here! Rachel Green : All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : I just don't want him to meet anybody until I am over my crush-And I will get over it. It's-it's not like I love him, it's just physical! But-I mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya! Joey Tribbiani : I know, Monica told me. Chandler Bing : Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me? Rachel Green : Yeah. Sure. Chandler Bing : Can you people not see me?! Rachel Green : So, will you talk to him? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know Rach.", "summary": "Rachel has a crush on Chandler but doesn't want to tell him until she gets over it. Joey is unaware of Rachel's feelings and tries to help her get over Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, come on! I'll give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts. Joey Tribbiani : One! No ten! You said ten! You can't take that back! Tag Jones : Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. You uh, you got something for me? Tag Jones : Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel. Joey Tribbiani : Ten. Okay. Now Tag there's such a thing as to many women. Tag Jones : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, for you! Monica Geller : Hey! There you are! Chandler Bing : There I am!", "summary": "Rachel offers Joey 10 free Ralph Lauren shirts, but he insists on getting ten. Tag arrives with a gift from Rachel for Joey, leading to a conversation about the number of women Joey has."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine. Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!! Monica Geller : Chandler, what were you thinking? Chandler Bing : I don't know, but don't worry, don't worry, because I know how to take a picture now. Okay, see? Look down , look down, look down... Monica Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi.", "summary": "Chandler takes an antihistamine given to him by Joey and falls asleep on the subway, ending up in Brooklyn."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So, how are things going with crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet? Ross Geller : Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okay-and F.Y.I she must've shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, \"I don't give a tiny rat's ass.\" Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, maybe she should've spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom. Ross Geller : Well, I don't think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe that's just because I am not emotionally unavailable! Phoebe Buffay : You think he's emotionally unavailable? Ross Geller : I think he can be. Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe he wouldn't be she didn't bring the office home every night! Ross Geller : Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Year's Eve 1997. Ross Geller : I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss Monica's recent breakup with her boyfriend Kyle, with Ross expressing frustration over Monica's intense focus on decorating their apartment while ignoring their own relationship. They also bring up past incidents, including Monica bringing home a colleague for New Year's Eve in 1997 and apologizing multiple times for her actions."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : We want the last six years back!! Ross Geller : So do we!! So do we!! I'm sorry you had to see that. Tag Jones : Good morning Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Thanks, hey so uh what'd you do last night? Tag Jones : Went out with Joey. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Another night of birdogging the chickas? Tag Jones : No. We had a really good talk. I don't think I'm gonna do that bar scene anymore. Rachel Green : Wow! I did not see that coming. Tag Jones : It's just not really who I am. Y'know, I've always been happier when...Why am I telling you this? You don't care about this stuff. Rachel Green : Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, y'know?", "summary": "The gang wants six years of their lives back after seeing a flashback of them in high school. Tag Jones reveals he's quit the bar scene and had a good talk with Joey. Rachel is surprised and curious about Tag's newfound happiness."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : When I'm in a relationship, I love having a girlfriend. Rachel Green : Really? Tag Jones : Someone I can spoil, y'know? Rachel Green : Sp-spoil? Tag Jones : Uh-huh! Let me ask you something? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Tag Jones : Do you believe that there is one perfect person for everyone? Rachel Green : Well, I-I'm startin' too. Tag Jones : And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right? Rachel Green : Yes! Hell yes!", "summary": "Tag Jones wants to find someone he can spoil in a relationship, and believes there is one perfect person for everyone. He asks Rachel Green if she agrees, and they both agree that if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : All right then, it's settled. Rachel Green : Okay. Tag Jones : I'm gettin' back together with my ex-girlfriend. Rachel Green : I'd love to! Tag Jones : What? Rachel Green : Hello?! Oh, yeah! This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. Yeah! Ross Geller : My God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. Is that annoying? And speaking about being selfish in bed, how's Whitney? Ross Geller : Well maybe she wouldn't have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was! Phoebe Buffay : Oh he knows! For the most part.", "summary": "Tag Jones gets back together with his ex-girlfriend, much to Rachel Green's surprise and excitement."}
-{"dialogues": "Kyle : Oh hey! Good, you're both here. Whitney : We kinda need to talk. Phoebe Buffay : Both of you together? Ross Geller : Wh-what's up? Whitney : Well, I went over to Kyle's last night to pick up a few things and we got to reminiscing... Kyle : ...we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So... Ross Geller : Oh just say it Kyle! Kyle : We're gonna give it another try. Phoebe Buffay : What about her whining and her constant need for attention?! Whitney : I'm gonna work on that.", "summary": "Kyle and Whitney rekindle their relationship after realizing they still have feelings for each other despite their anger towards each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, because you're so capable of change. Ross Geller : Y'know, he hums when he pees! Whitney : I do know. Ross Geller : It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever. Whitney : We're so sorry. Ross Geller : That's all right, we-we don't need you. In fact, hey I'm over it already. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and y'know what? I don't give a tiny rat's ass. Kyle : Yeah, we're gonna go. Ross Geller : I'm sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Y'know, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Y'know, he hums while he does other stuff to.", "summary": "Ross reveals that Whitney pees while humming, causing him to miss the bowl. Phoebe and Kyle are unbothered by this, with Phoebe even admitting she doesn't care. Meanwhile, Ross hurts his back after attempting to use sex as a weapon."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, were better off without them. Phoebe Buffay : And y'know, even if they break up again, you'd better not let him in your sad men's club! Ross Geller : Divorced men's club. Phoebe Buffay : Potato, Potaato. Monica Geller : Hey guys check it out! My mom sent me the paper! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, let's see it! Chandler Bing : Ahhh. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that looks good. Phoebe Buffay : You guys make a very attractive couple.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss whether they are better off without their friends after they have broken up again. Monica returns with a newspaper article about Chandler and Monica's engagement."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we look great together. Monica Geller : Yeah, we really do! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Wow! Imagine what our kids would look like! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, we don't have to imagine. Chandler Bing : I'm marrying her. Joey Tribbiani : We'll just see. Monica Geller : Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor. Rachel Green : Oh my God! This is it! I really hope it's you! Phoebe Buffay : I hope it's you.", "summary": "Chandler proposes to Monica at brunch, and Joey and Rachel express their opinions on who should be Monica's maid of honor."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Me too! Monica Geller : First of all um, I love you both so much and you're both so important to me... Rachel Green : Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla!! Who is it?! Monica Geller : Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine... Phoebe Buffay : Yes!!! Oh!! Rachel Green : Hypothetically! Phoebe Buffay : Still. Monica Geller : If Phoebe were my maid of honor... Rachel Green : Uh-hmm. Monica Geller : Rachel would be Phoebe's, I would be Rachel's, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss trading maid of honor duties for each other's weddings."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah that's actually a pretty good idea. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'll do that. So who gets to be yours? Monica Geller : Well that's the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide! Phoebe Buffay : Wh-why is that the best part? Monica Geller : Because then I don't have to! Rachel Green : Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing , my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that... Monica Geller : I'm really not deciding! Rachel Green : Fine! Woman : Excuse me, I-I couldn't help overhearing, you're marrying Chandler Bing? Monica Geller : Yeah that's right.", "summary": "The group decides to surprise Monica by letting her choose who will be her maid of honor, but she insists on not making a decision and wants the group to decide instead. Meanwhile, Rachel makes a toast to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing, revealing that she and Chandler are getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Woman : Huh, good luck! Phoebe Buffay : Aww, and good luck to you too! What a nice lady! Chandler Bing : Die Hard still great! Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature? Chandler Bing : What'd you rent? Joey Tribbiani : Die Hard 2. Chandler Bing : Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2! Ross Geller : Joey, we just saw it! Joey Tribbiani : And?", "summary": "Die Hard still great! Watched it again with friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : And it'll be cool to see it again! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Die Hard!!!!!! Ross Geller : Dude, you didn't say Die Hard. Is everything okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I just got uh, got plans. Ross Geller : Well, John McLane had plans! Chandler Bing : No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch. Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? Bitch. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss a movie they want to watch again, while Chandler has plans to leave before Joey gets upset. Meanwhile, Phoebe asks Rachel to be her maid of honor when she gets married."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Rachel Green : Oh my God Phoebe! I mean I'm just-Wait a minute. If I'm your maid of honor that means you are Monica's. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Well, if that's what you want... Rachel Green : Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monica's! Phoebe Buffay : But why does it even matter?! Rachel Green : Why does it matter so much to you?! Phoebe Buffay : Because this one is now! And-and it's two of our best friends! Who knows what you're gonna marry! Rachel Green : What-what if I marry Ross-Or Joey? Phoebe Buffay : You wouldn't! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-I've never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know you've done it at least twice!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe have a conversation about who should be the maid of honor at Monica and Chandler's wedding. Rachel wants to be Monica's maid of honor, but Phoebe is hesitant and wants to be the maid of honor for both friends. They argue over the matter, with Rachel expressing her desire to be a part of Monica's special day and Phoebe highlighting her lack of experience in the role."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah but Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. Oh I guess that was it. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. It's-since you've never done it before you can be Monica's made of honor. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you so much! Okay. Rachel Green : I'm gonna marry someone good y'know. Phoebe Buffay : Oh I know. Rachel Green : Better than Chandler. Ross Geller : What happened?!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I don't know!! Ross Geller : We fell asleep! That is all.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss Monica being the maid of honor at their wedding, with Rachel expressing her desire to marry someone good and Phoebe excitedly agreeing. Meanwhile, Ross and Joey fall asleep during their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, I'd better go. Ross Geller : I think that would be best. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. All right, I'll talk to you later. Ross Geller : Okay. But not about this! Joey Tribbiani : No! Never! Never! Bye. Ross Geller : No touch! No touch! Monica Geller : Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she...she wished me good luck. Chandler Bing : That's sweet. Monica Geller : No, it's more like a good luck. Chandler Bing : So uh, what did this woman look like?", "summary": "Joey and Ross discuss something in secret, with Joey insisting they can't talk about it anymore. Monica shares a strange encounter she had at brunch where a woman wished her good luck on marrying Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : She was like 30, dark hair, attractive. Chandler Bing : Well, is there any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror? Monica Geller : Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college? Chandler Bing : No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive... Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album. Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Well, let's see... Okay uh, is that her? Monica Geller : Oh my God yes! Who is she? Chandler Bing : Julie Grath, my camp girlfriend. Monica Geller : Did you break up with her? Chandler Bing : No, we're still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.", "summary": "Monica Geller was 30, dark-haired, and attractive. Chandler Bing suggested that she might have looked good in a mirror, but Monica asked if he had dated someone in college who looked like her. Chandler denied this and checked an old photo album to confirm. He revealed that he had been in a summer relationship with Julie Grath at camp, and they were still together despite breaking up for two years."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : Well, 'cause she came back the third summer and she'd gotten really fa-aa-aw-ow... Monica Geller : Fat?! Chandler Bing : I did not say fat! I said, \"Fa-aa-aw-ow...\" Monica Geller : You broke up with a girl because she was fat?! Chandler Bing : Yeah. Yeah, but it was a really, really long time ago! Does she still feel bad? Monica Geller : Well, apparently she does. Chandler Bing : Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. Seriously, good luck marrying me. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! What's going on? Rachel Green : Phoebe is gonna be Monica's maid of honor!", "summary": "Monica broke up with a girl from her past because she was overweight, and it has been a source of tension between them since."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? Rachel Green : You have been maid of honor before?!! Phoebe Buffay : See? This is exactly why you shouldn't lie! Rachel Green : All right that's it! I am maid of honor! Phoebe Buffay : Na-uh, I am! Rachel Green : How come you are?! Phoebe Buffay : Because I cared enough to lie! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how you'd handle maid of honor type situations. Phoebe Buffay : What are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if I'm the best of the people they see, they give me the part.", "summary": "Rachel becomes the maid of honor for Phoebe's wedding, despite Phoebe insisting that she should be the one to hold the position. Joey offers to help them decide who should do it by holding an audition, but things quickly get out of hand."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, me and Ross can be the judges. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's better than us deciding. Rachel Green : Oh, come on! This is crazy! Can't we just flip a coin?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Coins hate me! Rachel Green : Okay. Okay fine, y'know what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie. Phoebe Buffay : Hey there, you handsome thing. Ross Geller : Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Georgio. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Ross Geller : Just uh, brought back your videos.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are chosen to be judges for an audition, but Phoebe and Rachel are hesitant to let them decide."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before. Ross Geller : No! No we don't! Joey Tribbiani : Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!! Ross Geller : I... I don't know what you are talking about. Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had! Ross Geller : I've had better. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! When?! Ross Geller : All right! All right! It was the best nap ever! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh! Ross Geller : I've said it! Okay?! But it's over Joey!", "summary": "Joey and Ross argue about a nap."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I want to do it again. Ross Geller : We can't do it again. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Ross Geller : Because it's weird! Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Do you want something to drink? Ross Geller : Sure, what do you got? Joey Tribbiani : Warm milk and Excedrin P.M. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler! I just figured out who you are! Chandler Bing : Can you figure out what I'm doing? Monica Geller : You're Lewis Posin.", "summary": "Joey wants to recreate a previous moment, but Ross objects due to its weirdness. Joey offers drinks, and Monica recognizes Chandler as Lewis Posin."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Who? Monica Geller : Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why? Chandler Bing : Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?! Monica Geller : No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa.... And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Y'know, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie. Chandler Bing : What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago. Monica Geller : No, I know. But y'know what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me. Chandler Bing : Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, all right, this is how it's going to work. We're gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest. Ross Geller : No, 10 is the highest. Joey Tribbiani : Why is 10 the highest?", "summary": "Lewis Posin rejected Monica Geller's fifth-grade boyfriend request due to her excessive talking while he was trying to use the bathroom. Monica still feels bad about it 16 years later and wants Lewis to apologize. Chandler agrees to deliver the message but fears it may make him a better person, which could be detrimental to his feelings for Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Because It's The Highest. Situation No.1 You're with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to marry Chandler! Rachel Green : Okay, uh... Joey Tribbiani : I've got cold feet. Rachel Green : ...it's gonna be okay! Joey Tribbiani : No, one man for the rest of my life? I don't know if I can do it! This means I'll never get to sleep with Joey! Rachel Green : Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Y'know, it's-it's just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You don't get to keep the gifts. Joey Tribbiani : Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that! Rachel Green : Thanks! Ross Geller : Yes, very nice Rachel.", "summary": "Monica gets cold feet before her wedding to Chandler, while Joey and Rachel try to reassure her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Thank you judges. Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, what a kiss ass. Rachel Green : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Your honor? Joey Tribbiani : We're now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, \"I do\" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go! Ross Geller : When Monica was a little girl, I remember that--Ooh!! Ow! Very good! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Excellent! Perfect score! Rachel Green : Wait a minute! She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony!", "summary": "Monica is about to say \"I do\" when her drunk uncle starts yelling during her wedding ceremony. Joey tries to handle the situation, while Rachel and Phoebe offer their support from the sidelines."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?! Ross Geller : It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech. Rachel Green : Ohh, wait a minute, we haven't pre... Ross Geller : Go! Rachel Green : Okay! Okay! Umm, Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as... Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh... I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! That's nice. Rachel Green : Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, I've known them separately and I've known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Good speech. Ross Geller : Yeah, it really was! Rachel Green : Aw, thanks!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are getting married, and Rachel gives a toast at the reception. She shares memories of growing up with Monica and Chandler separately and together, and highlights their love for each other. Joey compliments Rachel on her speech, and Ross agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay Phoebe, I guess you're next although I really don't see the point. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I can't believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. Joey Tribbiani : And she's back in the game. Chandler Bing : Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me. Julie Graff : Hello Skidmark. Chandler Bing : It's a nickname, I'll explain later. Monica Geller : It's pretty clear. Chandler Bing : Ah, uh, I owe you a long overdue apology. I never should have broken up with you because you were overweight. Julie Graff : That's why you broke up with me?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are getting married, but Phoebe doesn't see the point. Joey brings up a past conversation with Rachel about it while they were showering together naked. Julie, an old acquaintance of Chandler's, appears and he apologizes for breaking up with her because of her weight."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You-you-you didn't know that. Well, I guess my work here is done! Joey Tribbiani : All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for Rachel-Damnit! Phoebe Buffay : Really?! I won! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : I'm sorry Rach, it was, it was really close. Rachel Green : Well then I demand a recount! Ross Geller : Actually, it wasn't that close. Rachel Green : No! Y'know what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculous-We're gonna flip a coin! All right?! Heads! Phoebe Buffay : The coins have finally forgiven me! Rachel Green : Well y'know what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel compete in a cooking competition, with Phoebe as the judge. Joey compliments both of them on their performance, but Rachel insists on a recount due to a close vote. The group decides to flip a coin to settle the matter."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Rach, it's gonna be okay! You guys are the best! Joey Tribbiani : Boy I tell ya, that judging stuff took a lot out of me. Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. Ross Geller : Why-why would I care about that? Joey Tribbiani : No reason, I'm just saying that uh... That's where I'll be. Chandler Bing : As bad as that went I actually enjoyed myself. I think that I'm going to apologize for all of the stupid things I do. Monica Geller : Why don't you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldn't have to apologize. Chandler Bing : I would really love it if could do both. Monica Geller : All right, I...I have to ask.", "summary": "Joey and Ross are judging a cooking competition, and Joey is feeling drained. Chandler wants to take a nap on his couch, and Ross doesn't care. Monica suggests that Chandler stop doing stupid things so he won't have to apologize."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again? Chandler Bing : What?! Monica Geller : Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained? Chandler Bing : A hundred and forty-five pounds. Monica Geller : In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! That's not the point. Chandler Bing : Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15! Monica Geller : Well... That's not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat. Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay, now wait a minute that was totally different. Monica Geller : How?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a conversation about their past breakups, specifically when Chandler broke up with Julie because she gained weight and when Chandler called Monica \"fat\" during Thanksgiving."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back! Monica Geller : What if I have babies, okay? I mean I'm gonna look different. I'm okay with that, but I'm not sure that you are! Chandler Bing : Look you have to realize I don't think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is you're Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica. Monica Geller : Keep going. Chandler Bing : So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you. Monica Geller : Even if I shrink down to two inches tall? Chandler Bing : I'd carry you around in my pocket. Monica Geller : I love you. Chandler Bing : Skidmark's still got a way with the ladies. Rachel Green : Hi Pheebs.", "summary": "Chandler confesses to Monica that he doesn't see her as thin and beautiful, but rather as Monica, the person he loves. He assures her that even if she gains weight or shrinks down to two inches tall, he will still love her. Monica is touched by his words and they share a romantic moment."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! I just want to apologize. I'm really sorry I was a baby. Phoebe Buffay : That's ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. Oh, you mean today. Rachel Green : Yeah. Yeah, and y'know you-you deserve to win. And-and y'know I was thinking about it, if-if you're Monica's maid of honor that means I get to be yours. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! Rachel Green : Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, y'know just in case... Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's so sweet thanks. Rachel Green : Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and here's a little purse that I found. Y'know I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Rachel Green : And umm, vintage handkerchiefs y'know 'cause, people cry at weddings. I'm just gonna grab a couple of these.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel discuss Monica and Chandler's upcoming wedding, with Rachel offering to be Phoebe's maid of honor. They reminisce about past Halloweens and share a book of poetry that Monica loves. Rachel also gives Phoebe some vintage handkerchiefs for the wedding, as people tend to cry at weddings."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : This stuff is great! Rachel Green : Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monica's something borrowed and it's blue. Yeah... Phoebe Buffay : Y'know Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monica's made of honor. Rachel Green : You do? Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because I think it means more to you. Rachel Green : But Pheebs, y'know you earned it. Phoebe Buffay : Its fine. I mean, this is something that you've been thinking about since you were what, 14? Rachel Green : No, I was ten. I just developed early. Phoebe Buffay : Man alive! Monica Geller : Hey, what's going on?", "summary": "Monica wants Phoebe to be her maid of honor, but Phoebe thinks Rachel should be honored instead because it means more to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor. Monica Geller : Ohh, wow! That's great! Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; we'll get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? I'm so excited! Rachel Green : Yeah okay, you laugh now, but she's gonna be yours. Joey Tribbiani : Great nap. Ross Geller : It really was. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! Ross Geller : Excuse me. Joey Tribbiani : Morning! Rachel Green : Hi! Oh, how was your date last night?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe plan to make Monica's wedding day special by meeting up multiple times a week to start preparing. Meanwhile, Joey has a great nap and Ross interrupts him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Pretty good. Rachel Green : Oh good. Ahhh! My God, sorry! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, really good. Anyway I gotta go; I'm late for work. Rachel Green : What-what?! You're gonna leave this person with me?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-Hey, don't worry, she's a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that I'm not looking for a serious relationship; that'd be great. Rachel Green : Why?! What?! Are you kidding?! Joey Tribbiani : Just casually slip it in, y'know lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, I'm a loner-No! An outlaw! Tell her she doesn't want to get mixed up with the likes of me. Rachel Green : Y'know what? That's a lot to remember, can't I just tell her you're a pig? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm gonna call her later! Honest! Oh come on, Chandler used to do it! He'd even make the girl pancakes! Plus, he'd make extras and leave 'em for me. Rachel Green : Well forget it, I'm not telling that girl anything. That is not my responsibility.", "summary": "Joey tries to leave a woman with Rachel, but asks her to mention that he's not looking for a serious relationship. Rachel refuses and jokes about calling the woman a hurtful name instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Now, where'd we land on those pancakes? Joey's Date : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Joey's Date : Sorry about that, but I couldn't get that lock to work on the door. Rachel Green : Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in. Joey's Date : You must be Rachel, I'm Erin. Rachel Green : Hi. Erin : Hi. I don't mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me? Rachel Green : Would you like some pancakes? Chandler Bing : ...Come on! Why are we here?!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discovers a locked door and tries to figure out how to open it. Erin (Joey's date) asks Rachel about Joey's intentions towards her, and Rachel offers her pancakes as a distraction. Chandler becomes frustrated with the situation and wonders why they are there."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, okay take a guess. Chandler Bing : The hot chicks? Ross Geller : Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, y'know-y'know for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! It's here! Yeah, it's right-it's right down here! In the biggest library in the university! Chandler Bing : Wow that's actually pretty cool. Ross Geller : Oh umm, there's also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. What is that? Chandler Bing : Sounds like two people are really enjoying the Dewey decimal system. Female Student : I'm so sorry! Male Student : Sorry! Chandler Bing : You didn't bring me here to do that, did you? Monica Geller : She sent the chicken back again?!", "summary": "Ross discovers his doctoral dissertation in a library computer database and finds it surprisingly easy to access. Chandler expresses admiration for the Dewey decimal system. A female student and male student apologize to each other. Monica sends a chicken dish back to the kitchen due to insufficiency."}
-{"dialogues": "The Waitress : She says it's to dry now and she wants to come back here and explain to you exactly how she wants it. Monica Geller : Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in! The Colonel : OH...MY...GAWD!!!! Monica Geller : Lucky bastard! Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! Monica Geller : I'm fine. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ohh! What is that on your finger?! I'm blind! Monica Geller : Oh... Uh... Janice Litman Goralnik : So, who's the lucky guy? Chandler Bing : OH...MY...GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didn't tell her we were getting married, did you?", "summary": "The Waitress wants to return to explain how she wants her chicken prepared. Monica Geller invites a \"chicken expert\" (the Colonel) and Janice Litman Goralnik arrives, excited to meet him. Janice accidentally insults Monica's restaurant and finger, while Chandler Bing reveals that he and Monica are getting married without her knowledge."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, she saw the ring. Chandler Bing : Did she freak out? Monica Geller : Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people. Chandler Bing : Right. Monica Geller : Well, she actually has a boyfriend y'know herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too. Chandler Bing : You said no right? Monica Geller : Huh? Chandler Bing : You said no right?! Monica Geller : Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?! Chandler Bing : Lie!!! How hard is that?! The check's in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I can't wait to read your book Ross!!", "summary": "Monica is planning her wedding and Chandler's girlfriend, Clark, unexpectedly shows up at their home with an invitation to the wedding. Monica hesitantly invites Clark, despite previously turning down the invitation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it won't be so bad. Chandler Bing : What do you think she's just gonna sit there quietly? You don't think she's gonna want to make a toast? You don't think she's gonna want to grab the microphone and sing Part-time Lover?! Monica Geller : Oh my God, she's not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? It's gonna be okay. Y'know what? She's probably not gonna even want to come. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : No! That was a lie! See how easy that was? Monica Geller : So-so you would've just lied? Chandler Bing : Yes!! Monica Geller : Would it really have been that easy? Chandler Bing : Yes!!!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are worried about their friend's attendance at their wedding and what she might do during the ceremony. They speculate on her possible behavior, with Chandler joking that she might sing a song or make a toast, while Monica is more concerned about the food."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Good, so do it Saturday night because we're going to dinner with her and Clark. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! What's up? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, who's your friend? Hey!! Erin : Hey Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Erin! Still here! Rachel Green : Yeah, we ended up spending the day together and had such a great time! Joey Tribbiani : Why wouldn't ya? Erin is great! Then-then there's you guys. Erin : Ohh, listen. I've got to get going. Today was great, thanks! Rachel Green : I know!", "summary": "Monica and Joey plan to attend a dinner date with Clark on Saturday night. Phoebe joins the conversation and introduces her friend Erin. Joey becomes excited to see Erin again, while Rachel reveals that they had a great time together earlier in the day."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Erin : Bye Joey. Last night was fun. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I'll uh, I'll call ya. Rachel Green : Oh and I'll call ya too! Erin : Or I'll call you! Phoebe Buffay : And call me! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, good to see you again. Erin : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Bye-bye. Rachel Green : Bye!", "summary": "Erin and Joey had fun last night, and they will call each other. Phoebe also wants to call them. Rachel says she will call them too."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So, system kinda broke down huh?! Rachel Green : Oh Joey, I'm sorry I just couldn't tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And y'know we got to talking and I... Phoebe Buffay : We want you to marry her! Joey Tribbiani : What?!! Phoebe Buffay : She is so amazing! You have no idea. Joey Tribbiani : No idea? Who do you think brought her here? Rachel Green : Cupid. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, she's so cool. She speaks four languages. Joey Tribbiani : Man, do you know what guys want! Rachel Green : Look Joey, come on she's so perfect for you! I mean she's sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.", "summary": "Joey wants to marry the girl he brought to Monica's apartment after she revealed Cupid brought her there. Rachel and Phoebe encourage Joey to pursue his feelings, highlighting the woman's impressive qualities, such as speaking four languages and enjoying baseball."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : My beers?! Look you guys, she's a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I just-I don't see it going anywhere. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you always say that. Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere. Joey Tribbiani : Look I'm sorry you guys, I-I just don't think so. Phoebe Buffay : Whatever. Rachel Green : Fine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't start judging me! Huh? You're the one who's in love with her assistant! Huh? And you, you're the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof! Rachel Green : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Secret affair! Ross Geller : People are doing it in front of my book!", "summary": "Joey is hesitant to pursue a relationship with a girl he had a good time with, despite encouragement from his friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm sorry? Ross Geller : My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin' babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Did you get to see anything good? Ross Geller : Let me ask you something, at your school was there a like uh a place on campus where students went to uh, fool around. Rachel Green : Yeah, there was. It was-there the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever read-Yes, there was. Ross Geller : Great! Because people kept showing up, I think it's like uh-a thing! Joey Tribbiani : Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall? Ross Geller : Oh for cryin' out loud! Joey Tribbiani : All right, so we should go catch our movie. Rachel Green : Well now what's the rush?", "summary": "Ross discovers students making babies in the paleontology section of the library. He asks Rachel if there is a place on campus where students engage in sexual activities and she confirms that there is. Joey joins the conversation and suggests going to see a movie, but Rachel wants to stay and continue the discussion."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I like to see the previews. The candy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Hey! Rachel Green : Well look who's here! Erin : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Erin : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Erin. Erin : Hey Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no! Erin : What's wrong?", "summary": "Erin arrives at Central Perk with Joey and Phoebe, but Rachel is already there. They discuss movies and plan to see one together, but their plans are ruined when Erin reveals a problem."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Joey Tribbiani : What party? Phoebe Buffay : A birthday party. Joey Tribbiani : Who's birthday party? Phoebe Buffay : Allison's birthday party. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, and how is Allison? Phoebe Buffay : 32. Rachel Green : Wait a minute! Why don't you guys do something?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, look how that worked out.", "summary": "Allison's 32nd birthday party is forgotten, and the friends must come up with a plan."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Excuse me. Hi, I'm a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437? The Librarian : Well, yes! Just give me five minutes, I just have to find someone to cover my shift. Ross Geller : No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! The Head Librarian : How can I help you? Ross Geller : Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it. The Head Librarian : We are aware of the problem you are referring too. But as far as increasing security, I'm afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I can't help you. Ross Geller : Well, fine. Fine! If-if I'm the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, I'll go up there and defend it myself! And don't you follow me! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : How did it go with Erin?", "summary": "Ross Geller goes to the library in search of a book he wrote, but finds that people are instead rolling around in front of it. He asks the librarian for help increasing security, but the librarian is unable to assist due to staffing issues. In frustration, Ross threatens to defend the book himself and warns the librarian not to follow him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, unbelievable! We had the best time! Phoebe Buffay : Yay!! Oh so, you're not, you're not mad at us anymore? Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Y'know? That was so awkward, we were really nervous. Phoebe Buffay : Didn't you sleep together? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well that's a... Rachel Green : Oh my God! Listen to you talkin' about having kids. Oh my Joey. Oh, please don't get married before I do. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up! Monica Geller : He might still show up. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, what are you, stupid? It's been three hours.", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe had a great time on their date, despite initial reservations. However, Joey reveals that he and his date slept together, which Rachel finds surprising. Janice and Monica discuss Clark standing her up, with Janice expressing disbelief and Monica hoping he will still show up."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Is that all? Janice Litman Goralnik : I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why don't you tell about your lovely wedding? Chandler Bing : Well actually uh, there was something we wanted to tell you about the wedding. Um, it's going to be a small ceremony. Uh, tiny! We're not even sure why we're having it. Monica Geller : It's actually going to be just family. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh...wait...you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red? Joey Tribbiani : How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer! Erin : What about Benitez? Joey Tribbiani : What about Game 1 of the Series? Erin : What about shut up? Joey Tribbiani : You shut up! I love arguing with her. I'll be right back.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a small, family-only wedding. Janice wants to know if they consider her part of the family, and Joey argues with Erin about the Mets' closer."}
-{"dialogues": "Erin : Okay. Rachel Green : So how's it goin' with Joey? Erin : Uh, okay. Rachel Green : Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him. Erin : Look, he's a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just don't see this having a future. Rachel Green : But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?! Erin : Kinda. Phoebe Buffay : Then change it back! Erin : I'm sorry I... It's just there's no real spark. Phoebe Buffay : No spark? Didn't you sleep together?", "summary": "Joey and Erin are talking about their feelings towards each other, with Rachel pressuring Erin to admit she likes him. However, Erin reveals that she doesn't see a future for their relationship due to lack of spark. Phoebe joins in, suggesting that Erin should reconsider her feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Erin : Yeah. Rachel Green : Ugh, tramp! Phoebe Buffay : Does Joey have any idea? Erin : I really don't think he does. And y'know what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Y'know, tell him I'm-I'm not interested in a serious relationship or something. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you mean like that you're kind of a loner. Erin : Yeah! That would be great! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and maybe that you're a real Erin : I'm sorry? Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, I guess Italian isn't one of the four languages you speak. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You wanna go?", "summary": "Erin and Rachel discuss Joey's lack of understanding regarding Erin's feelings towards him. Phoebe suggests helping Joey out by telling him that Erin is not interested in a serious relationship. Joey enters the conversation and invites them to go somewhere together."}
-{"dialogues": "Erin : Yeah, let's go. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. See you guys later. Erin : Bye guys. Rachel Green : Yeah, see ya. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, thank you so much. Rachel Green : Wow. Well, I guess it was Cupid who brought her here. Phoebe Buffay : No, just a regular old flying dwarf. Ross Geller : Yes? Yes?! How can I help you? Guy : Yeah, we were...we were just looking around. Ross Geller : Oh-oh, you're-you're fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, perhaps Dr. Chester Stock's musings on the Smiledon Californicus?", "summary": "Erin and Joey go somewhere together. Rachel says goodbye. Phoebe believes Cupid brought her there, while Ross thinks a flying dwarf might be responsible. The group discusses their research interests, with Ross inquiring about Dr. Chester Stock's writings on the Smiledon Californicus."}
-{"dialogues": "Guy : Uhh.... Ross Geller : Ah... Ah...Get out of here! Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marion's views on evolution? Woman : Uh, actually I find Marion's views far to progressionist. Ross Geller : I find Marion's views far to progressionist. Woman : I'm sorry, who are you? Ross Geller : I'm a professor here uh, Ross...Geller. Woman : Ross Geller, why do I know that name? It's uh-Wait! Did you write this? Ross Geller : Yes! You're the person who checked out my book?! Woman : Y'know, you look nothing like I would've thought. You're...you're so young. Ross Geller : Well I uh, I skipped forth grade.", "summary": "A man named Ross Geller meets a woman who recognizes him as the author of a book on evolution. The woman is surprised to find that Ross looks much younger than she expected, and he reveals that he skipped fourth grade."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I am very...very sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : So how was, how was your date? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still... And guess what, I'm thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts. Phoebe Buffay : Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you? Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no! It's a surprise, but it's gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, yeah. Rachel Green : Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, she's not lookin' for a serious relationship.", "summary": "Ross is sorry about something. Joey had a great date and wants to take his date upstate to a bed and breakfast. Phoebe is surprised by this and thinks it will be tricky since the girl is busy at work. Rachel reveals that she got the impression the girl is not looking for a serious relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Where are you gettin' this? Rachel Green : Well, she told me. She said she's kinda a loner. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Oh. Rachel Green : Joey... Joey Tribbiani : No hey Rach, it's cool okay? Y'know I'm a loner too! Right? Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey, y'know what? You are way to good for her. Rachel Green : Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell 'em you're not looking for a relationship. Joey Tribbiani : No! No. Don't do that, just next time make sure she really likes me. Rachel Green : Well that too. Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah?", "summary": "Rachel and Joey discuss how they are both loners, while Phoebe chimes in with her own thoughts on the matter. They then move on to discuss Rachel's relationships and how she should be more careful about who she gets involved with."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Do you want some pancakes? Joey Tribbiani : Finally! Monica Geller : What are we gonna do? Chandler Bing : I say we go with Careless Whisper. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Did she see us yet? Did she see us? Monica Geller : Janice, what umm, what are you doing here? Janice Litman Goralnik : Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldn't really be alone tonight. I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family. Monica Geller : Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice aren't they? Janice Litman Goralnik : Please, it's because otherwise I really don't know what I might do.", "summary": "The gang has a breakfast gathering and invites an unexpected guest, Janice. Janice expresses her desire to stay with the group due to feeling lonely and vulnerable. The others are hesitant but ultimately agree to let her stay, with Monica joking that their kids will call her Aunt Janice."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Aren't you just a tinsy bit curious? Janice Litman Goralnik : Do you have any tissues? Monica Geller : Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay! Monica Geller : We'll just...we'll just let her stay. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, if we let her stay, she will stay forever! Monica Geller : Kinda like your Barca lounger. Chandler Bing : Is that what you're thinking about right now? Monica Geller : I never stop thinking about it. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath.", "summary": "Janice wants tissues; Chandler doesn't want Janice to stay forever; Monica mentions the Barca lounger; Janice asks if anyone wants to get in the bath before she takes hers."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Janice, I'm sorry but umm, you can't stay here tonight. Janice Litman Goralnik : Why not? Chandler Bing : Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay, I'm going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. Do you have a cat? 'Cause it's already happening. Do you hear that? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go! Janice Litman Goralnik : Why? Monica Geller : Because Chandler still has feelings for you! Janice Litman Goralnik : He does? Chandler Bing : Say again? Monica Geller : That's right. That's right. And that is why you can't stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldn't come to the wedding.", "summary": "Janice Litman Goralnik stays over at Chandler and Monica's apartment, but Chandler kicks her out due to electromagnetic activity concerns, despite Monica and Chandler being immunized. Janice wants a hypoallergenic comforter and expresses concern about the cat, which Monica reveals is a sign of Chandler's unspoken feelings for Janice."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Feelings, such strong feelings. Monica Geller : I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh...my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, I'll go. Good-bye Monica , I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, you call me when this goes in the pooper. Ross Geller : Don't sweat it, I've got this section covered. Yeah, in fact I've got this little baby to shine in people's eye--Okay, see you later. Chandler Bing : I just wanted to show Monica your book. Ross Geller : Hey everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! Chandler Bing : No, no, no. No-no-no. Joey Tribbiani : Shhhh! Ross Geller : What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year? Chandler Bing : No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are having feelings for each other again, despite their past relationship. Janice is sympathetic but offers to leave, while Ross tries to make light of the situation with a silly comment about his book. Joey tries to hush up the conversation, and they all celebrate Thanksgiving together."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? That's like insanely easy! Chandler Bing : Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen . Monica Geller : It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose. Ross Geller : What? You forgot fourteen states? Monica Geller : Nobody cares about the Dakotas. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay, time's up! Rachel Green : All right, I got 48. Chandler Bing : Oh that's not bad, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I Got Tired Of Naming States. So I Decided To List The Types Of Celery, And I Have One regular celery. Chandler Bing : Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in...vegetables, Joey?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group plays a game of naming states, with Ross and Monica having difficulty remembering them. Chandler struggles to remember all 50 states, while Phoebe takes a different approach by listing types of celery instead. Rachel gets 48 correct, while Phoebe leads in vegetables."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game. Ross Geller : Wow, how many have you got? Joey Tribbiani : Fifty-six! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How is New England not a state? Huh? They have a sports-team! Chandler Bing : Does South Oregon have a sports-team? There you go. Rachel Green : How come we have one extra place setting? Monica Geller : 'Cause you invited your assistant. Rachel Green : Oh, right. Sorry. But Tag's not coming; his girlfriend came into town, so he's spending Thanksgiving with her. Monica Geller : Oh! Why didn't you tell me? I made him his own individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin. Rachel Green : Well, I was going to, but then I figured, you know... you're food is so delicious and perfect, you can never have too many of those pumpkin things.", "summary": "Joey wins a game called \"Chandler's dumb states game,\" and Ross questions how many he has. Joey responds with 56. The group discusses whether South Oregon has a sports team, and Chandler makes a comment about an extra place setting at the table. Rachel reveals that Tag is not joining them for Thanksgiving because his girlfriend is in town, and Monica made individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin for him. Rachel admires Monica's cooking skills and decides not to tell her about Tag's absence."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Now you think I wouldn't enjoy that, because it is so fake, but I still do. Phoebe Buffay : Regular Celery! Oh, I already have that. Ross Geller : Done! With time a-to-spare. Chandler Bing : Oooh that may be a New World's record Ross Geller : You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called \"a globe?\" Hmm? Chandler Bing : Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states. Ross Geller : What? That's impossible. Joey Tribbiani : 46. Wow! Who's well educated now, Mr. I-forgot-ten-states? Monica Geller : All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food! Chandler Bing : I am only one man! Okay Ross, time is up!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss a fake celery product, while Ross completes a task with ease. Chandler mocks them for not being able to name all 50 states on a map or globe. Joey correctly identifies 46 states, impressing Ross. Monica uses Joey's oven and warns the others not to let him eat any food. Chandler feels overwhelmed by their requests."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, just give me another minute. Chandler Bing : Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself. Ross Geller : This-this is crazy! I can do this! All right, uhh, I bet I can get all 50 before dinner. Chandler Bing : Okay, but if you can't...no dinner! Ross Geller : You're on! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have. Monica Geller : Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work? Joey Tribbiani : But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right? Monica Geller : Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay? Ross Geller : Pshhshhh!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler play a game where they try to guess 50 TV shows in one minute. Joey and Monica join in on the fun, with Joey having a long list of shows and Monica revealing that Ross's oven doesn't work."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler? Can you give me a hand? Chandler Bing : Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys I'm gonna go out and take a walk. Ross Geller : Phoebe, why is your bag moving? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's not! Rachel Green : Seriously, it's moving! Joey Tribbiani : What the hell is in there? Phoebe Buffay : It's just my knitting that's all! Yes! I knit this. I'm very good. Monica Geller : Ross's apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group tries to help Monica with a task, but Chandler and Joey have to keep Ross from looking at certain objects in her apartment. Phoebe goes for a walk, but returns with an unexpected surprise. Meanwhile, Monica compliments Ross on his apartment, leading the others to wonder why they don't hang out there more often."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I don't know. Maybe it's because it smells a little weird. It's like old pumpkins or something. Monica Geller : That's my pie! Chandler Bing : Which smells delicious! Monica Geller : Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : We left Joey alone with the food! Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog! Phoebe Buffay : Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help? Monica Geller : Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, who's this? Monica Geller : Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!", "summary": "Monica makes a pumpkin pie, which Chandler finds smells weird. Joey gets left alone with the food and feeds it to a dog. Phoebe shows up and finds the dog in the apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Tell her, I'm allergic, and I will sue! Phoebe Buffay : No, there's no dog here? Monica Geller : Yes there is! He's black and white and shaggy and he's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god! Where are you? Monica Geller : I'll be right there! Phoebe Buffay : They're here already? How are they doing this? Rachel Green : Hi Tag! What are you doing here? Tag Jones : I, uh, wanted to see if your offer to spend Thanksgiving with you is still good. Rachel Green : Well, sure! Come in! Well, what-what happened to your girlfriend? Tag Jones : We kinda broke up this morning.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A black and white shaggy dog appears at a Thanksgiving gathering without warning, causing confusion and surprise among the guests."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Tag Jones : Yeah, so she went back to Ohio. Ross Geller : Ohio!! Thank you! Chandler Bing : Huh! Where is the dog?! Ross Geller : What dog? There-there's no dog here. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that dog left! Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe, open up! Phoebe Buffay : There's no dog in here. Chandler Bing : Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking! Phoebe Buffay : No that's just me coughing! Oh, good, there you are! Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.", "summary": "Ohio, dog, and barking ensue as Rachel returns home with Tag Jones. Ross expresses gratitude for her presence, while Chandler wonders about the dog. Monica and Phoebe search for a missing canine, but it's just Phoebe coughing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What is it doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people? Monica Geller : Oooh, I wish she could stay here, but Chandler is allergic! Chandler Bing : Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up! Phoebe Buffay : That's odd, 'cause this dog's been living here for the past 3 days Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog? Chandler Bing : Well, it still has to go, right? Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : Okay, it's um...", "summary": "A dog appears unexpectedly at a group of friends' home, prompting discussions about whether or not one of them is allergic to canines."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Don't do it! Monica Geller : Don't do what? Chandler Bing : I have to! Okay? It's time! Okay, I hate dogs. #ALL# : What? Phoebe Buffay : Are you crazy? Ross Geller : Are you out of your mind? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Joey Tribbiani : Told ya. Chandler Bing : They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit. Ross Geller : Right, they are scary. Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!", "summary": "A debate ensues among friends about the suitability of dogs as pets, with some arguing that they are too needy and unpredictable, while others see them as loving and adorable."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs? I mean, not even puppies? Chandler Bing : Is there a puppy here? Tag Jones : You don't like puppies? Chandler Bing : Okay, you are new! Joey Tribbiani : Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin' ice cream. Phoebe Buffay : You don't like ice cream? Ross Geller : It's too cold. Chandler Bing : Okay, it's just that dogs make me a little uncomfortable. Ross Geller : It hurts my teeth. Chandler Bing : And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. Oh my god!!", "summary": "Ross doesn't like ice cream because it's too cold, while Chandler is uncomfortable around dogs and ultimately decides to leave if the dog doesn't go."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : How can I not get this? I'm a college professor; I got 1450 on my S.A.T.s. Monica Geller : 1250. Ross Geller : Damn, I forgot you were here. Phoebe Buffay : All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Ross's. We'll be back in a minute. Rachel Green : Oh, wait before you guys go, can I just ask you a question? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'd say about a month. Monica Geller : Really? I'd say 3 to 4. Joey Tribbiani : Half hour.", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss their SAT scores, while Phoebe and Rachel prepare to take Clunkers to Ross's house. Rachel asks for advice on how long to wait after a breakup before making a move, with different opinions from Monica, Phoebe, and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Interesting. Monica Geller : When it's your assistant, I would say never. Joey Tribbiani : All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point. Rachel Green : Huh. A moo-point? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo. Rachel Green : Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense? Monica Geller : Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-he's obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend. Rachel Green : You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you. Okay, that's what I'm gonna do. Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside. Rachel Green : Hey!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss Joey's feelings towards her, with Monica advising Rachel to be a supportive friend to him during the holidays. Meanwhile, Joey makes jokes about not being taken seriously due to his depressed state."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Hey. Rachel Green : How are you holding up? Tag Jones : Not bad. Rachel Green : Yeah? I'm sorry about your girlfriend. Tag Jones : Thanks. Rachel Green : So were you guys together a long time? Tag Jones : A year. On and off. I kinda thought we'd end up together. I don't anymore. Rachel Green : Now that she broke up with you? Tag Jones : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. Hmmmm.", "summary": "Tag Jones and Rachel Green have a conversation about their mutual friend who recently broke up with Tag. Tag is holding up well despite the breakup, but Rachel is sorry to hear about it. They discuss the length of their relationship, which was on-and-off for a year, and Tag reveals that he had hoped they would end up together. However, after the breakup, Tag no longer holds that hope."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling? Rachel Green : No...Yeah, all the time, constantly. It's terrifying. But you know that I figure it...it has to work out. Tag Jones : Why? Rachel Green : Because, uh-it has to. Tag Jones : You have all the answers, don't you? Rachel Green : Yeah, I know, I do. I really do. Tag Jones : Hey, thanks for talking to me. Rachel Green : Well, what is a boss for? Hug it out! Joey Tribbiani : All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it! Tag Jones : What?", "summary": "Tag Jones and Rachel Green have a conversation about love and relationships. They both express their doubts and fears about finding happiness and falling in love. Rachel reassures Tag that everything will work out, but he wonders why she seems to have all the answers. Joey Tribbiani interrupts them and encourages Tag to pursue his feelings for Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Street noise drowned any of that out? No, all right, I see you later, okay... Tag Jones : What did Joey say? I like you back? Rachel Green : Uh, yeah, well, see, he... Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and...you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah! Tag Jones : Wait-wait a minute; that doesn't make any sense. Rachel Green : No? All right, here's the truth um, Joey said what he said, because um, I'm attracted to you. Tag Jones : Wow. Rachel Green : Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now. Tag Jones : Oh my god! Those guys are stealing my car! Rachel Green : What? Tag Jones : Right there! That's my car! Hey!!", "summary": "Joey and Rachel confess their feelings to each other, but are interrupted by noise from outside. Joey says he likes Rachel back, and Rachel admits she has a crush on him despite the fact that they work together."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, that's gonna take them a minute. Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest? Tag Jones : I can't believe this! Rachel Green : Wait, we still have time to talk and they're-they're not even in the car yet! Oh look, there they go, okay. Monica Geller : Okay Phoebe, we should probably go back now. Phoebe Buffay : Please don't leave me, I'll be lonely. Monica Geller : Stop it. Stop! Okay let's go. We can be strong. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay. Monica Geller : Oh my god! Did you hear that? She said Monica! Oooh, I can't leave her! Phoebe Buffay : You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know. Monica Geller : That's not gonna work.", "summary": "Rachel tries to convince Tag to express himself, but he doesn't have anything to say. They see Joey and Chandler leaving in a car, and Monica and Phoebe decide to go back home. Phoebe is upset about leaving Monica behind, but Monica convinces her to be strong."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart. Monica Geller : Hey! I didn't know either. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you kinda knew that something was going on, didn't you? Monica Geller : Yeah, I knew. Phoebe Buffay : Where's Chandler? Chandler Bing : Here I am. Phoebe Buffay : Wash your hands!!! Chandler Bing : How did you...know? Ross Geller : Hey! What's she doing back here? Monica Geller : Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!", "summary": "Chandler has no idea Phoebe has been taking care of his dog for three days. Monica suspects something is going on and Phoebe confirms it. Chandler returns and Phoebe tells him to wash his hands upon entering. The group tries to figure out how Phoebe knew."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey look, Phoebe. I, uh, I laid out the states geographically... Phoebe Buffay : No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom. Ross Geller : Yeah, but, but look what I'm... Phoebe Buffay : See, this is exactly what we do not have time for. Chandler Bing : Where's Monica? Ross Geller : Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there. Chandler Bing : Why not? Ross Geller : Monica's crying. She's very upset about this whole Clunkers thing. Chandler Bing : Well, I, I should go in there. Ross Geller : No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.", "summary": "Ross lays out a map of states while trying to convince Phoebe not to let Chandler near her bedroom. Monica is upset about something and is crying in Phoebe's room."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why not? Ross Geller : Because you sent away the dog! Chandler Bing : This is ridiculous. Ross Geller : Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend...Phyllis...take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! What's the matter? Chandler Bing : Monica's all upset, because I sent Clunkers away. Joey Tribbiani : So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I can be a hero, I could do that. I could, I could do... I, w-w-what if, what if it attacks me? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, it's like a big gerbil. Chandler Bing : And that doesn't scare you?", "summary": "Ross and Monica had a dog named Rover when they were kids, but Ross's dad didn't like dogs so he took it away. Monica and her friend Phyllis took Rover to a new home. Now, Chandler has sent away Monica's dog Clunkers and Monica is upset. Joey suggests bringing the dog back and making Chandler a hero, but Chandler is hesitant because he fears the dog might attack him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ross, you need some help? Ross Geller : From you? Yes, please! Joey Tribbiani : First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up! Ross Geller : I hate America! When I finish this game, I swear I am moving. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Tag's still talking to the police. Rachel Green : Yeah, ohh! Why, damnit, why did I open my mouth? I have a crush on you; I am attracted to you. Gee, I-I know that I freaked him out Joey Tribbiani : If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, is Chandler here? Chandler Bing : No, no he went for a walk. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but you cannot tell him... but look whose back!", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a conversation about Utah, with Ross expressing frustration with America and considering moving. Rachel reveals that she has a crush on Chandler, but he is not present. Phoebe returns and shares news about Chandler's whereabouts."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Oh No-no-no-no-no-no-no! He went over to Ross' to bring the dog back here! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, the dog's not going to be there! Joey Tribbiani : You think? Monica Geller : Hi, honey. Chandler Bing : Please, please, please, don't be mad at me. Monica Geller : What? Why, why would... Phoebe Buffay : Shh, wait and see. Maybe we will, maybe we won't. Chandler Bing : Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Y'know, for you, and... I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. Phoebe Buffay : We have good news, look whose back!", "summary": "Ross' dog, Clunkers, escaped from Joey's apartment after he left the door open, leading to a search throughout the building and Ross' neighbors' rooftop garden. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler try to comfort each other over their shared mistake, and Phoebe suggests they all go out to ease their pain together. When Clunkers is finally found, everyone breathes a sigh of relief."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Clunkers?! Oh my god! Monica Geller : That's right, she came back all by herself. Phoebe Buffay : It's a Thanksgiving miracle! Chandler Bing : It is so good to see you! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building. Oh, the things she must have seen! And then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw and then we ran to let her in... I went to far, didn't I? When should I have stopped? Ross Geller : Okay, maybe this is so hard, because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you something, I have 49 states, and there are no more! I-I think, I should be able to eat something. Chandler Bing : It's up to you. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! How are you doing? Tag Jones : I'm okay. I gotta go down to the police station and look at mug shots.", "summary": "Monica returns home after being gone for several days, much to everyone's surprise and delight."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh. Tag Jones : Thanks for having me over, you guys. Ross Geller : Tag? Y-You're going? Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again? Tag Jones : Colorado. Ross Geller : Ah, what good are you. Rachel Green : Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace. Tag Jones : Okay. Rachel Green : Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. It-y'know what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay? Tag Jones : Um, I'm not. Rachel Green : Oh, god, I know it, that I freaked you out.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their feelings for each other after Ross discovers a note from Tag, a guy Rachel has been flirting with, on the terrace. They argue about whether or not they should talk about what happened and ultimately decide to move forward and focus on their work together."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : No, you didn't. The only thing that freaked me out was you saying that nothing could ever happen between us. Rachel Green : Really? Tag Jones : Yeah, so, please don't fire me for doing this. Rachel Green : Okay, well, that's one less thing we have to do on Monday. Ross Geller : Delaware! Delaware! Chandler Bing : All right. Ross Geller : I want my turkey now! Chandler Bing : You got it. You got Nevada twice. Ross Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : Yeah.", "summary": "Tag says he was freaked out by Rachel's statement that nothing could ever happen between them. Rachel agrees and they discuss their plans for Monday. Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler argue over a turkey and states."}
-{"dialogues": "Ben Geller : I'm ready! Ross Geller : You sure? Ben Geller : Uh-huh! Chandler Bing : Okay, let me just straighten out your helmet there. Ben Geller : Thanks daddy. Ross Geller : No-no, one daddy, two mommies. All right, it's all yours. Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay. Ross Geller : Yes! Yes! Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : His first big kid's bike, this is so exciting! Monica Geller : Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and...it bent.", "summary": "Ben buys a bike and Chandler helps him fix his helmet; Ross talks about his own childhood memories of bikes; Phoebe reminisces about her sixth birthday and getting her first bike."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I never had a bike of my own. Ross Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, we didn't have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on. Chandler Bing : That sounds like my first bike. My dad gave me his old one. Ross Geller : Ohh. Monica Geller : Did the girl ever let you ride it? Phoebe Buffay : No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard. Ross Geller : That is so unfair! Phoebe Buffay : Not really, I got to drag him around too!", "summary": "Phoebe never had a bike of her own as a child, but she admired the pink bike with rainbow tassels and bell owned by a girl across the street. Chandler reminisces about his first bike, given to him by his father, which he was not allowed to ride. Monica asks if the girl ever let Phoebe ride her bike, and Phoebe reveals that she only got to play with the box it came in, complete with a picture of the bike on the front."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! What are you guys doing? Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Making holiday candy for the neighbors. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, who? Monica Geller : I'm gonna hang this basket on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece. Chandler Bing : But we don't know the neighbors. Joey Tribbiani : I do. There's uh, let's see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids I've Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty. Monica Geller : See? This is exactly why I'm making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors. Chandler Bing : Wouldn't it be easier if we just moved? Rachel Green : Gooood morning!!", "summary": "The gang makes holiday candy for their neighbors, but they don't know their names. Monica tries to get them to learn their names by giving out the candy, while Chandler and Joey would rather just move."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Eh, somebody's in a good mood! Rachel Green : Well, why shouldn't I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job! Monica Geller : Where you can make out with your assistant. Rachel Green : Come on, it's not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem. Monica Geller : Oh yeah, what's the plan? Rachel Green : We... We are not... ...going to let it... be a problem. Monica Geller : Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?! Rachel Green : Well y'know, we did other stuff too. Monica Geller : Did you two... Rachel Green : Oh Monica come on, y'know I don't sleep with guys on the first date!", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler are in a good mood, but Monica is concerned about their relationship. They came up with a plan to avoid any problems while dating, but it took them all night to come up with it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Matt Guire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wire... Rachel Green : Anymore!! Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct? Tag Jones : Yes, at 4:00. Rachel Green : Okay, thank you. That'll be all. Wait! Wait! Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. Tag Jones : I'd better get back to my desk. Rachel Green : Okay, you hard worker! I'll remember to put that in your evaluation. Tag Jones : My what? Rachel Green : Well, you've been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But y'know, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a workplace conference call and a coworker's (Tag) forgetfulness. Rachel Green mentions an \"us\" in reference to the mail guy, but Tag Jones is confused. The rest of the conversation involves Tag trying to get back to his desk and Rachel teasing him about his performance evaluation."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Are you serious? Rachel Green : No, I've just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up? Monica Geller : The basket is totally empty! My God, the neighbors ate all the candy! Chandler Bing : Well, either that or uh... Monica Geller : Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Monica Geller : Did you eat all the neighbor candy?! Joey Tribbiani : Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and they've been coming by all day. They love it! Monica Geller : They love my candy? Oh man!!! I've gotta go make more!!", "summary": "The group discovers that the neighbors have eaten all of Rachel's candy, and they try to cover up the evidence. Joey admits he ate the rest of the candy, but blames it on the plan. Phoebe reveals that the neighbors have been coming by all day and loving the candy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something might've happened to a huge chunk of it. Monica Geller : Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!! Ross Geller : Mine stole my newspaper! It's like a crime wave!! Pheebs, you uh, you got a second. Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Ross Geller : Yeah, ever since you uh, told me that story about that bike I-I couldn't stop thinking about it. I mean, everyone should have a-a first bike, so... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God Ross!! Ross Geller : You like it? Phoebe Buffay : I love it!! Ross Geller : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh!! Ohh!! And I love you!", "summary": "The gang discovers that a large portion of Monica's lasagna has gone missing, leading to suspicions and accusations among them. Meanwhile, Ross laments the loss of his newspaper, and Phoebe tells him a story about her first bike that he finds endearing."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ahh. Phoebe Buffay : Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer! Ross Geller : Ah! Well uh-uh, t-take it downstairs, y'know give it a test ride. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Oh my God! My first bike! Thank you for the best present I've ever gotten. Ross Geller : You're welcome. Phoebe Buffay : Oh and Chandler's about to cry. Chandler Bing : Am not! Monica Geller : Who is that?! Chandler Bing : Don't worry, I'm brave! I am brave! I...I am brave! No-no-no-no!! Can you tell me who is there please? The Knocker : My name is Gary, I live upstairs.", "summary": "Ross buys Phoebe her first bike and she is excited to test ride it. Chandler becomes emotional upon seeing Phoebe's new bike."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi. Do you know what time it is? Gary : It's candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven. Monica Geller : Oh please! Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven. Chandler Bing : 4:00 A.M. Gary : So, can I get some candy? Chandler Bing : I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! He does not know that I am not some of us. Monica Geller : Umm, listen I am sorry, but I'll put some out first thing in the morning. Gary : Well okay, I'll swing by later. Do you live in this building? Monica Geller : Um-hmm.", "summary": "Gary wants candy and Monica offers to give it to him later, but Chandler is not willing to let him have any at 4am due to his work schedule."}
-{"dialogues": "Gary : Mm! Seems like I would've remembered you! Chandler Bing : Mm! Night Gar'! Rachel Green : So did you read your evaluation yet? Tag Jones : No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources. Rachel Green : Okay please, you're kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you! Tag Jones : A joke they would appreciate? Rachel Green : I'm thinkin' no. Tag Jones : What did you say?! Rachel Green : Umm, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your tiney-tiny touchie. Tag Jones : No, not my touchie.", "summary": "Gary suspects he wouldn't have forgotten meeting Chandler, but Chandler claims it was a nightmare. Rachel asks if Tag read his evaluation, and Tag reveals it was marked confidential and sent to HR. Rachel jokes that she wrote it as a joke for Tag, but he's not amused. They argue over what Rachel said in the evaluation, with Rachel claiming she complimented Tag on his kissing abilities and small touches."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, \"Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision,\" and under Problems with Performance I wrote, \"Dear God, I hope not,\" and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch. Monica Geller : Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried. Joey Tribbiani : Almost cried huh? Hear that Chandler? Almost cried! Chandler Bing : Hey, you cry every time somebody talks about Titanic! Joey Tribbiani : Those two only had each other! Ross Geller : Phoebe really likes the bike huh? Monica Geller : Oh yeah! I saw her walkin' it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin' it by the park. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs?", "summary": "Phoebe receives a new bike and almost cries when hearing the story of how it was obtained. Ross and Monica discuss the gift, with Monica expressing her admiration for the bike and Phoebe's love for it. Joey teases Chandler about crying over the Titanic, while Ross questions Phoebe's ability to walk the bike."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh hi! Chandler Bing : Hey! So are you enjoying the bike? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, uh-huh so much! Ross Geller : Pheebs you uh...you do know how to ride a bike don't you? Phoebe Buffay : Of course! Monica Geller : Umm, can we see you ride it? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. See? Monica Geller : See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing! Chandler Bing : What happened? I'm just eating candy. Rachel Green : Maybe it's not as bad as I think. Y'know, maybe they didn't take it the way I meant it.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay rides a bike, despite Ross Geller's concerns about her ability to operate it. Monica Geller and Rachel Green join in on the conversation, with Monica mentioning that keeping secrets is impossible in affairs and Rachel expressing uncertainty about how their coworkers perceived her recent comment."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Absolutely! Y'know, because touchie can mean both ass and good worker. Rachel Green : Ugh, I just gotta get the thing back! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Joey! Chandler Bing : What is the matter with you? Rachel Green : Ugh! Joey Tribbiani : Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn. The Woman : Hi! I'm sorry, I know it's after hours but I really need candy.", "summary": "Rachel tries to retrieve a valuable item, Joey shows off his artistic skills, and Chandler is confused by a conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I can't help you. See? Rules are rules. The Woman : Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy! Monica Geller : No kidding, out of towners huh? What did you tell 'em? The Woman : I told 'em your candy is absolutely indescribable! Monica Geller : Some people have been saying its y'know little drops of heaven, but whatever. The Woman : Please, can't you help me out? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler, do we know that lady? Chandler Bing : Maybe, isn't she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud? Monica Geller : All right, I'll do it just this once! But you can't tell anybody! The Woman : Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!", "summary": "The plot centers around a woman who needs Monica Geller's famous candy for a gathering of out-of-town guests. Monica initially refuses to help, but eventually relents under pressure from the woman and Chandler Bing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's her. The Woman : Thank you. Monica Geller : It's unbelievable! I-I can't believe that sign didn't work! Chandler Bing : Y'know what would work? Monica Geller : Hmm? Chandler Bing : Stop making candy! Monica Geller : But they like it! Chandler Bing : You mean they like you. Monica Geller : Maybe. Chandler Bing : Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?", "summary": "Monica Geller creates a sign to attract customers to her restaurant, but it doesn't work. Chandler Bing suggests she stop making candy and focus on cooking instead, implying that people like her more for her cooking than her appearance. Monica wonders if this is why she became a chef in the first place."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? Ross Geller : Okay, now just remember everything I taught you and you'll be fine. Okay? Here we go. Ready...Set... Phoebe Buffay : Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seat-or a beanbag chair! Ross Geller : Phoebe, you can't get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Why do I have to learn? Ross Geller : Well...In-in case of emergency. Phoebe Buffay : What kind of an emergency? Ross Geller : Well let there-what if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, \"You ride this bike or I'll sh...I'll shoot you.\" Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star. Ross Geller : Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike and-Hey! I'll hold you up and-and push you. Okay?", "summary": "Phoebe wants to sit comfortably during a conversation with Monica and Ross, but they insist she ride a bike despite her objections. Phoebe says she would use a Chinese throwing star to defend herself in an emergency, while Ross suggests he'll hold her up and push her on the bike."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You won't let go? Ross Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Swear?! Ross Geller : I swear! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : Come on. All right, here we go. All right? Phoebe Buffay : All right. Ross Geller : All right. Feel good? Phoebe Buffay : Well... Ross Geller : All right, try pedaling.", "summary": "Ross refuses to let go of something, while Phoebe tries to persuade him and they engage in a funny exchange."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : That's it, your doing great. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : Doing great! Yes-yes-yes! Take control! Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Weee!!! Ross Geller : Yes!! Yes!!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh! Oh no!! You swore! Ross Geller : I-I just thought you were doing so well. I... Phoebe Buffay : I am shocked! Shocked!! Ross Geller : It's a legitimate learning technique. Wow!", "summary": "Ross tries to encourage Phoebe while she performs a magic trick, but he accidentally swears, causing Phoebe to become shocked and dismayed."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, there's uh, some people outside, askin' about candy. Monica Geller : Well, they're just gonna have to wait aren't they? I've only got two hands!! Ross Geller : Need some help? Monica Geller : No! You don't know the system! There'll be nobody messing with the system! Ross Geller : By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hello liar. Ross Geller : Look, I-I'm really sorry I let go of the bike. Phoebe Buffay : I could've been killed I hope you know! Ross Geller : I know. I know. But, can we please try it again? Huh? I mean, you were so close Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I would love to but...the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects.", "summary": "People are asking about candy outside, but Monica is only willing to help with two hands. Ross offers to help, but Monica refuses, insisting that she knows the system. Ross apologizes for letting go of a bike the week before his wedding, and Phoebe is upset that she was nearly killed."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : What?! What the hell?! Ross Geller : All right, y'know what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then I'm sorry, I'm just gonna have to take it back. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Why?! Ross Geller : Because! Because, it-it-it's... It'd be like you having this guitar and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you don't ride it you-you're-you're killing its spirit! The bike is dying. Phoebe Buffay : All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay. Ross Geller : Great! Great! You're making the bike very happy. Phoebe Buffay : Okay Ross! Please don't die! Rachel Green : Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but we're gonna have to get into Mr. Zelner's office. Now, he doesn't get in until 10, so he's no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk. Tag Jones : That's kinda sad.", "summary": "Ross tries to teach Phoebe how to ride a bike, but she is not interested and he threatens to take it back. Meanwhile, Rachel and Tag try to retrieve an evaluation from Mr. Zelner's office before he arrives, but they must navigate Betty, his early-arriving assistant."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, well Betty's kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. Now, while I distract her, you get in the office. Tag Jones : Got it! Rachel Green : Let's roll! Mr. Zelner : Hello Rachel, you uh, got a minute? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anything-minute. Okay. Fine. Abort the plan, abort the plan. Mr. Zelner : Uh actually, I'd like to speak with both of you. Rachel Green : Okay. Uh, well can we, can we get you anything Mr. Zelner? Maybe some chocolates? Mr. Zelner : Umm, no. Thanks, but I'll give these to Betty. So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two? Rachel Green : Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, what would happen exactly. Mr. Zelner : Well, I'd be forced to file a report. I'd have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.", "summary": "Betty is sad, so Rachel tries to distract her with chocolates to sneak into the office. However, Mr. Zelner catches wind of their plan and reveals that he has read Rachel's evaluation of Tag, leading Rachel to awkwardly deny any romantic involvement between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well... Tag Jones : Uh Mr. Zelner, I'm the one who filled in that evaluation. Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no... Tag Jones : Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, I thought it would be funny. Mr. Zelner : You wrote that you have a cute touchie? Tag Jones : Yes. I have a weird sense of humor, and I'm kinda strangely proud of my butt. Mr. Zelner : It's kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I can't figure out what this is? Rachel Green : You're lookin' at it upside down-y'know what? It doesn't matter. Mr. Zelner : Yeah, it's not like I don't have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But there's a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? No? Okay, well uh, you've got my fax number. Rachel Green : Whoa! I can't believe you did that. That was really sweet.", "summary": "Rachel and Tag make jokes about a drawing Mr. Zelner cannot decipher, while he expresses concerns about its appropriateness."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : No, don't worry about it. Rachel Green : No, you could've lost your job. Tag Jones : Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, I'd find work. Rachel Green : Thank you! You're great! Tag Jones : Y'know what? Rachel Green : What? Tag Jones : I feel great. In fact! What? Rachel Green : I... It just-it took me so long to get that desk organized. Tag Jones : Oh, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : There it is.", "summary": "Tag Jones and Rachel Green have a conversation about work and organizational skills. Tag is confident in his ability to find new job opportunities despite losing his current one, while Rachel appreciates his compliments on her organization abilities."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What is going on? The Man : We're waiting for the candy. Bring out the candy! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah lady! Give us candy!! Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : What's up buddy? Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Waiting for candy. Chandler Bing : Get in here! Hey, and you can not smoke in here! Merry Christmas. Monica Geller : Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool! #ALL# : We want candy! We want candy now!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang is waiting for candy and becomes impatient. Joey demands candy, while Chandler tries to maintain order by telling him not to smoke inside. Monica announces that the chocolate needs more time to cool before they can have it. The group becomes restless and demands candy immediately."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and I'll bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right? The Man : Candy Lady? Chandler Bing : No not Candy Lady. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!! Chandler Bing : All right, y'know what? Forget it, all of you forget it! You've ruined it! Go home! You've ruined it! You've ruined it! Joey Tribbiani : That's right, it's all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! Monica Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : You're welcome. Monica Geller : Did you smoke? Chandler Bing : No! Smokes-A-Lot Lady blew smoke directly into my mouth. Eh-uh-are you okay?", "summary": "Chandler Bing tries to silence a group of people who are disruptive during a gathering where a woman is making candy for everyone. Joey Tribbiani asks if they can have some candy, but Chandler becomes frustrated and tells them to leave. The scene ends with Monica Geller thanking Chandler for something and asking if he smoked."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I don't know... Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought I'd be able to do that! Thank you Ross. Ross Geller : Oh hey, don't thank me, thank yourself. You're the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them. Phoebe Buffay : Don't be so corny Ross, it's not an after-school special. Chandler Bing : Buh-bye. I just got us reservations at Michelle's and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple. Monica Geller : Betrothed... Chandler Bing : ...betrothed couple. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe share their recent experiences, including a threatening note left under Monica's door and Phoebe's successful bike ride. Ross praises Phoebe for facing her fears and overcoming them. Chandler and Monica celebrate their first holiday season as a betrothed couple with plans to see a play and dine at Michelle's restaurant."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Haaaa... ... ahhhh! Chandler Bing : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Chandler Bing : Skull? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, it's my mom's. Rachel Green : Oh my god!! Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. Ross Geller : Hey! #ALL# : Hey!", "summary": "Phoebe finds a skull in her mother's old Christmas decoration and becomes distracted during a conversation with Monica and Chandler. Rachel reacts in shock, but Phoebe clarifies that it doesn't belong to her mother and is actually a reminder of death, even during the holiday season."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Licorice? Ross Geller : Sure! Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year. #ALL# : Ohh! That's great! Monica Geller : Are you gonna dress up as Santa? Ross Geller : Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah. Phoebe Buffay : And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die. Rachel Green : You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe. Ross Geller : Hmm. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Did you know he was in there?", "summary": "Monica and Ross discover they will have Ben for the holidays, while Phoebe offers to teach him about Christmas deaths and Rachel notes she may need to educate him on Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : How long have we been home? Monica Geller : About a half an hour. Chandler Bing : Lovely! Chandler Bing : Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Why not? Monica Geller : Bing's weird. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, you guys! Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are discussing their engagement, with Chandler suggesting that Monica change her last name to his. Monica declines, stating that she finds the name \"Bing\" weird. Phoebe enters the room and joins in on the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Guess what! My landlord just called and my apartment is gonna get ready soon, so I guess I'll be moving out. Monica Geller : Ahh, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news. Chandler Bing : Ohh! You guys gonna be living together again? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, why not? Chandler Bing : Well, she's just so much fun with Joey, I just assumed, she'd still be living with him. Phoebe Buffay : Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey? Chandler Bing : No reason, except...she...told...me. Phoebe Buffay : Really? So she said, she didn't wanna live with me anymore?", "summary": "Phoebe will be moving out of her apartment soon and Monica will miss her. Chandler thinks Joey and Rachel will still be living together, but Phoebe reveals that Rachel told her she didn't want to live with her anymore."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now. Monica Geller : Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you. Phoebe Buffay : You're sure? You're absolutely sure? Monica Geller : Well, no. But, um, I bet she probably does. Phoebe Buffay : Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. Kind of what 'probably' really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, \"Your mom probably won't kill herself,\" y'know? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on \"Probably!\" Y'know? You gotta take care of yourselves! In this world history teaches us nothing! Chandler Bing : Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it? Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Great, you're home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! Rachel Green : Drums? Joey Tribbiani : No! Drums!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey are excited about their Christmas gifts from Phoebe, but Chandler is skeptical of Monica's suggestion that Phoebe might want to live with Rachel. Phoebe is hesitant to commit to living with Rachel without a guarantee, and the conversation becomes a series of awkward exchanges."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hi, could we get two burritos to go, please? Monica Geller : I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing. Maitre D' : Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes. Chandler Bing : Forty-five minutes? We have tickets to the Musicman at 8:00. Maitre D' : I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir. Chandler Bing : Is this because of the burrito thing? Monica Geller : You need to give him money. Chandler Bing : Give him money? It was a joke! Monica Geller : No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin' you down. Everybody wants to be paid off. Chandler Bing : Right, calm down, O'Mally. I'll slip him some money.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica go to a restaurant and try to get a table, but they are told there will be a 45-minute wait. Chandler makes a joke about bribing the maitre d', but Monica reminds him that they should actually give him money for the reservation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You've got to be smooth about it. Chandler Bing : Hey, I can be smooth. Listen, we're a little bit in a hurry, so, if you can get us a table a little quicker, I'd appreciate it. Maitre D' : Of course, sir. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : How did it go? Chandler Bing : Had the money in the wrong hand. Ross Geller : Wooooooo, hehehe. Hey, ahh, you don't feel like you're gonna throw up, do ya? Ben Geller : No. Ross Geller : Well, I do, so let's... So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya? Ben Geller : Christmas.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are trying to get a table at a restaurant, but they are in a hurry. The ma\u00eetre d' assists them, and Chandler tries to be smooth. Ross makes a joke about throwing up, and Ben mentions that Christmas is coming up."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yep, and you know what other holiday is coming up? Ben Geller : Christmas eve. Ross Geller : Yes, but also Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday. Ben Geller : Santa has reindeers that can fly! Ross Geller : Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees. Ben Geller : Jingle bells, jingle bells... Ross Geller : Okay, that's right, yes, but on Hanukkah, uh, we sing, uh Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay. Ben Geller : Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer... Ross Geller : Okay, it's not a contest. Ben Geller : When is Santa coming?", "summary": "Ross and Ben talk about Christmas and Hanukkah. They discuss the holidays and their traditions, with Ross explaining that Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle and the Maccabees. Ben brings up Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, and the conversation turns to when Santa will arrive."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, how about this year, instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah? Ben Geller : No Santa? Was I bad? Ross Geller : No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben. Ben Geller : Santa's mad at me. Ross Geller : No, hey-hey, come on, Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy! Ben Geller : So Santa's coming? Ross Geller : Yes! Santa's coming! Monica Geller : It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money! Chandler Bing : How do you know so much about this? Monica Geller : I don't know.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Ross and Ben celebrate Hanukkah instead of Christmas, while Monica offers casual advice on how to handle Santa Claus. Chandler is confused about how to handle the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Richard used to do it, didn't he? Monica Geller : We'd be eating our soup right now. Chandler Bing : Mustached bastard... Monica Geller : Okay, those people just left, come on! Quick! Give him the money and get their table! Chandler Bing : Excuse me... Male Guest : Good evening. Chandler Bing : Ahh-hahaha! Rachel Green : Ha! Phoebe Buffay : So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Y'know, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. Ready? One, two, three, four...", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over Richard's old job, while Rachel and Phoebe discuss her new living situation with drums. Joey teaches them a new song on the drums."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Tequila!! Phoebe Buffay : That's fun. Gunther : Here you go. Chandler Bing : Thank you Gunther, put it there. Definitely not easier with coins. Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Here. Now I only owe you $49.50. Chandler Bing : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe share tequila shots while Gunther serves them. Chandler thanks Gunther for bringing the tequila and notes that it's not easier with coins. Joey thanks Gunther and pays $49.50. Chandler suggests disruptive gifts for Joey, including a wrecking ball or small pox."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, \"Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!\" I mean, it is so annoying. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, thank you. You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe on some level. Rachel Green : Joey, y'know that you could just not throw the sticks up in the air. Joey Tribbiani : What is Rock 'n' Roll about that? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Joey, I got you another present. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! Okay, what is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's a...tarantula! Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage? Rachel Green : What are you talking about? I love them! Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?", "summary": "Monica Geller and Phoebe Buffay are annoyed by Joey Tribbiani's constant drum playing and throwing of sticks in the air, which he does every five minutes, causing them to exclaim \"Oh my eye!\" repeatedly. Rachel Green joins the conversation and suggests that Joey could just not throw the sticks up in the air. Joey defends his drumming, and Phoebe gives him a present, a tarantula, which he is initially excited about but then expresses regret when he realizes it is poorly constructed and looks scary. Rachel reveals that she had a tarantula as a kid but it died after her cat ate it, and then her cat died."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! Rachel Green : Oh, isn't that adorable? Joey is afraid of the tarantula. Phoebe Buffay : Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. Rachel Green : What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Our apartment is ready. Rachel Green : And that makes you angry because... Phoebe Buffay : Because you would rather live here with Joey. Rachel Green : Where did you get that? Phoebe Buffay : Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that. Rachel Green : Phoebe?", "summary": "Joey is afraid of a tarantula, while Rachel and Phoebe are excited about their new apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hm? Rachel Green : Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out! Phoebe Buffay : Fish! Rachel Green : It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me, but okay, if you're having so much fun over here... Rachel Green : Oh, it's so much more fun with you. Phoebe Buffay : We did have fun, didn't we? Rachel Green : We did! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, anyway, they say, if we want, we can see it tonight. Rachel Green : Oh, I would love to!", "summary": "Joey gets strange food as a prank to try and get Rachel out of her apartment, but they end up deciding to live together instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yay, okay! Rachel Green : Good, good, good, good, good. Phoebe Buffay : Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop. Rachel Green : Um... Done! Ross Geller : Hey! Salesman : Hello, Sir. You're here to return those pants? Ross Geller : No, these are my pants. Salesman : Oh. Okay! How can I help you? Ross Geller : Well, uh, do you have a Santa-outfit left? Salesman : Two days before Christmas? Sorry, man.", "summary": "Ross tries to buy a Santa costume two days before Christmas but the store doesn't have any."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I...uh, you gotta have something. Ross Geller : I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you a Merry Christmas! Monica Geller : What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo? Ross Geller : Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas. Monica Geller : Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from...Texas. Ben Geller : Texas? Ross Geller : That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents. Ben Geller : Wow! Thanks! Ross Geller : You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas, ooh, and Happy Hanukkah! Ben Geller : Are you for Hanukkah, too? Because I'm part-Jewish.", "summary": "Ross Geller is looking for Christmas presents for his son, but Santa is unavailable. He meets a man called Holiday Armadillo who claims to be a friend of Santa and has been sent to deliver presents. Monica Geller offers the Armadillo a seat and asks about Santa's whereabouts, while Ben Geller exclaims at the prospect of receiving gifts. The conversation concludes with the Armadillo expressing gratitude and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You are? Me, too! Monica Geller : Because Armadillos also wandered in the desert? Ross Geller : You wanna wander in the hall? Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights? Ben Geller : Cool! Ross Geller : Yeah! Monica Geller : Come on Ben. Ross Geller : Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees... Chandler Bing : Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Ben Geller : Santa! Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a discussion about armadillos and wandering in the desert, followed by a mention of the Holiday Armadillo and the festival of lights. Ross then shares a story about the Maccabees from years ago during Hanukkah."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What are you doing here, Santa? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man? Ross Geller : I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember? Chandler Bing : What? Ben Geller : Did you bring me any presents, Santa? Chandler Bing : You bet I did, Ben, put it there! Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! Ho, ho, ho! Monica Geller : Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say. Ross Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work! Ross Geller : Thank you, but, but you gotta leave.", "summary": "Ben receives presents from both Santa (the Holiday Armadillo) and Chandler. Ben opens more presents with Monica in the kitchen, while Ross and Chandler have a conversation about Chandler's Santa costume."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why? Ross Geller : Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it. Chandler Bing : But I didn't get to shape my belly like a bowl full of jelly. Ross Geller : I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me. Chandler Bing : Fine, I'll give the suit back. Monica Geller : Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? Chandler Bing : Santa? Really? Monica Geller : Yes, is that okay? Chandler Bing : Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa? Monica Geller : No.", "summary": "Ross tries to get Chandler excited about Hanukkah, but Chandler ruins it by giving back a Santa suit that Monica had let him borrow."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Then it's okay! Ross Geller : Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye! Ben Geller : No! Why does he have to go? Chandler Bing : Because, if Santa and the Holiday...Armadillo? ...are ever in the same room for too long the universe will implode. Merry Christmas! Ben Geller : No! Why can't the Armadillo leave? I want Santa! Ross Geller : Fine, I-I give up. Santa, Santa can stay. Chandler Bing : Well, I'll stay, but only because I wanna hear about Hanukkah. Ben, will you sit here with Santa and learn about Hanukkah? Ben Geller : Okay, Santa! Ross Geller : All right, it's time for the story of Hanukkah. Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees. Joey Tribbiani : Merry Christmas!", "summary": "Chandler warns that Santa and the Holiday Armadillo mustn't be in the same space because their presence could cause the universe to collapse. Ben doesn't want Santa to leave, while Ross decides to allow him to stay. Chandler agrees to remain to learn about Hanukkah with Ben, who is excited to spend time with Santa."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh wow! Look at this place! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is terrible. Oh, they've made so many changes I can't even feel my grandmother's presence anymore-Ooh! New sconces! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : Okay, remember uh, remember how you told me that your grandmother put up that wall to make that into two bedrooms? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : And remember how you always said you were afraid the landlord would find out and then tear it down? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : Do you really not know where I'm going with this? It left! It's one huge room! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Oh! Wow!!!", "summary": "The friends discover that a major renovation has been done on their apartment without their knowledge or consent, including removing a wall that was previously converted into two bedrooms."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : See? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I guess we'll just have to put the wall back up. Rachel Green : You can't, because of the new skylight! Phoebe Buffay : There's a skylight?! Wow!! Rachel Green : So what should we do? Should we start looking for a new place? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know I'm-I'm sensing that um, my grandmother would not be comfortable with that. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Startin' to feel her again there are we? Phoebe Buffay : A little bit, yeah. Rachel Green : Pheebs is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone? Phoebe Buffay : You heard her too?! You have the gift!", "summary": "New skylight discovery causes a problem in the shared space between Rachel and Phoebe. They consider moving to a new place, but Phoebe senses her grandmother's discomfort with the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Phoebe, it's okay. I like living with Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Are you sure? Rachel Green : Oh please, I hate packing, it's closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, I'm really gonna miss living with you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh me too. Rachel Green : I know. Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, I'm gettin' something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair? Phoebe Buffay : No, I do not hear that. Ross Geller : ...and the miracle was that that little bit of oil that should've just lasted just one day, burned for... Ben Geller : Eight whole days. Ross Geller : That's right, and that's why we celebrate Hanukkah today. The end. Ben Geller : Awesome!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are discussing living arrangements, with Rachel preferring to live with Joey due to proximity to work and fun times together, despite missing Phoebe. Meanwhile, Ross and Ben engage in a conversation about Hanukkah, with Ross explaining the significance of the holiday and Ben excitedly agreeing."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt. Ross Geller : The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, it's time to light the Hanukkah candles! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Rachel Green : Wow! It looks like the Easter Bunny's funeral in here. Ross Geller : Come on, come on, we're-we're-we're lighting the candles! Rachel Green : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny's funeral?", "summary": "Superman helps Jews escape Egypt, while an armadillo is not pleased. The gang lights Hanukkah candles and discusses the Easter Bunny's funeral, where a porcupine unexpectedly appears."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I got it! Joey Tribbiani : Is it back in the cage? Rachel Green : Its back in cage! Joey Tribbiani : Cage closed? Rachel Green : Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby! Chandler Bing : Ohh. Mmm. Rachel Green : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey, you have got to try this cheesecake. Rachel Green : Oh, y'know I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I--Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? Chandler Bing : It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.", "summary": "Joey and Rachel discuss a cage, while Chandler tries cheesecake from an unknown source."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. Thief. Chandler Bing : I-no! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box. Rachel Green : Why, why not? Chandler Bing : Because it's too delicious. Rachel Green : Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong. Chandler Bing : No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, Momma's Little Bakery. I feel terrible, I'm a horrible, horrible, horrible person. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry what? Joey Tribbiani : All right, I should get going, big day a work. Y'know I'm in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out I'm not brain dead. Chandler Bing : So... Joey Tribbiani : Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, it's just not my character that's not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?", "summary": "Chandler Bing steals a cheesecake addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs, claiming it's too delicious to return. Rachel Green scolds him, but Chandler tries to make amends by sending away for a free replacement. Joey Tribbiani enters the conversation, revealing he is in a coma and undergoing a test to determine if he is brain dead."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : I'll see you at 8:00. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Oh, what's at 8:00? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys. Ross Geller : Wow, did not know that! May I say how lovely you look today? Phoebe Buffay : Duly noted. Ross Geller : Thanks. Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what? Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Ross Geller : Cousin Frannie's wedding, its tomorrow night.", "summary": "Phoebe has dinner plans with Joey, while Chandler is unaware of their plans. Ross compliments Phoebe's appearance and asks if she wants to drive down to Cousin Frannie's wedding together the next night. Monica is confused by the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You were invited?! Ross Geller : No. Monica Geller : My God, I can't believe this! I mean I knew that mom and dad were invited, but I thought that was it! I mean from the ages 7 to 9 Frannie and I were inseparable! Chandler Bing : Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannie's made some new friends. Ross Geller : Well l-look okay, it's probably just a mistake. Let me call Aunt Sheryl okay? Maybe you are invited and the invitation just got lost in the mail. Monica Geller : Yeah, well you call her and tell her that y'know when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadn't have stopped her, there probably wouldn't even be a wedding to go too. Ross Geller : Y'know, she tried to undress me too. Chandler Bing : I used to undress my cousin Glenn. Phoebe Buffay : Joseph Francis Tribbiani are you home yet?!! Rachel Green : Umm, I think he's still out. What's wrong?", "summary": "Monica and Ross discover that Frannie, their childhood friend, has been invited to their wedding despite not being on the guest list. Monica reveals that Frannie tried to undress her multiple times when they were kids, and Ross shares a similar experience with Frannie. Chandler jokingly mentions undressing his cousin Glenn, while Phoebe wonders if Joseph is home yet."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'll tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. Rachel Green : \"Pheebs, can't make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy.\" Big Daddy? Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's a nickname we were trying out. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Here's Joseph Francis! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note! Phoebe Buffay : So what?! That doesn't give you the right to ditch me! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex! Ross Geller : Phoebe he's right, that is the rule.", "summary": "Joey left a note on Phoebe's door canceling their plans, but he has a date instead. Phoebe is upset and feels abandoned. Ross agrees with Joey that cancelling plans for potential sex is okay."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I don't accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I can't just be a way to kill time 'til you meet someone better! Y'know boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this is for life! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! I'm so sorry; I had no idea it would bother you this much. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it does. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, can I-can I make it up to you? Huh? I'm sorry. How about uh, dinner tomorrow night?! I'll pay for myself! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you wore me down. Ross Geller : Hey Joe, while you're over there how about another beer for the Ross-A-Tron? Joey Tribbiani : The Ross-Is that back?!! Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Another cheesecake came! They delivered it to the wrong address again! Rachel Green : So just bring it back downstairs, what's the problem?", "summary": "Phoebe is upset that Joey hasn't shown up to their plans despite making excuses. Joey offers to take Phoebe out for dinner to make it up to her. Ross joins in on the offer and asks if he can join them for another beer. Meanwhile, Chandler brings back a wrongly delivered cheesecake."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I can't seem to say goodbye. Rachel Green : Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more? Chandler Bing : Well I've forgotten what it tastes like okay?! Rachel Green : It was cheesecake. It was fine. It had a buttery, crumbly, graham cracker crust, with a very rich yet light, cream cheese filling... Wow! My whole mouth just filled with saliva! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake. Rachel Green : Yeah and we'll drop it off downstairs so that we're not tempted. Chandler Bing : Good idea. Where do you want to go to lunch? Rachel Green : Momma's Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois. Joey Tribbiani : Awww! Mel Torme died. Monica Geller : Joey, that paper's like a year old!", "summary": "Chandler and Rachel can't say goodbye to cheesecake, despite eating an entire one two days ago. They become light-headed from hunger and decide to go out for lunch at Momma's Little Bakery in Chicago. Joey mentions that Mel Torme died, but Monica corrects him, saying the paper is a year old."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Aw! Does that mean the Sam Goody's sale is over?! Ross Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasn't a mistake. Ahh, there's-there's limited seating in the hall. Monica Geller : Limited seating?! I am just one tiny person! Ross Geller : Well yeah, but she doesn't know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you would've turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling. Monica Geller : Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! That's not the reason she's not inviting me! Ross Geller : Oh what's the big deal?! I wasn't even invited to the ceremony, just the reception. And-and y'know what? If it makes you feel any better, Joan and I will just make an appearance and then, and then we'll-we'll leave early as a sign of protest. Monica Geller : Joan?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica and Ross are trying to convince each other that Aunt Sheryl is not inviting Monica to her wedding because of limited seating, but they both know it's really because Monica would have turned one of the small wedding chairs into kindling."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. She's an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed! Monica Geller : Wait a minute, you got Ross Gellar and guest?! I wasn't invited and you got \"and guest?!\" Joey Tribbiani : Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Ross's behalf. I-I think the rule applies here y'know, since she has a chance to get on broad back... Ross Geller : Not broad backed! Monica Geller : Wait a minute, y'know, you're bringing me! Ross Geller : What? I can't cancel on Joan! Monica Geller : Why not?! Ross Geller : Bec-Did you not hear me?! She's an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? They're wild! Why do you want to come anyway? Monica Geller : Because! She's my cousin. I mean, we grew up together! We're family y'know? Well that's important to me. Ross Geller : Okay, all right, I'll take you. I'll go call Joan.", "summary": "Ross meets a woman he wants to date and invites Monica along as his guest, but Monica reveals that she is actually her cousin and wants to come along anyway."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Aww that's nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life. Monica Geller : We'll see. Chandler Bing : Well, thank you for lunch. Rachel Green : What? Wait a minute, I didn't pay, I thought you paid! Chandler Bing : So apparently we just don't pay for food anymore. Do you see what I see? Rachel Green : Its still there! Chandler Bing : Mrs. Braverman must be out. Rachel Green : She could be out of town. Maybe she'll be gone for months. Chandler Bing : By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We don't want her to come back to bad cheesecake. Rachel Green : No that could kill her.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are at a wedding, where Rachel realizes she didn't pay for lunch and Chandler brings up an old joke about Mrs. Braverman being out of town. They discuss the possibility of her returning to find bad cheesecake and the potential consequences."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, we don't want that. Rachel Green : No so we're protecting her. Chandler Bing : But we should take it. Rachel Green : But we should move quick. Chandler Bing : Why? Rachel Green : Because I think I just heard her moving around in there. Chandler Bing : Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! That's David! Monica Geller : David who? Phoebe Buffay : David the scientist guy, David that I was in love with, David who went to Russia and broke my heart David!", "summary": "David, a scientist, broke Phoebe's heart by going to Russia."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you say someone's name enough, they turn around. David : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : David! What-what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Russia? David : Yeah, I'm just, I'm just in town for a conference. Umm, God you look phenomenal! Phoebe Buffay : Well... Yeah. You look great too. Did you get a haircut? David : Yeah. Well I-I got like thirty of them. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. David : Umm, look I-I-I got a confession to make... Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh.", "summary": "David sees Phoebe and is surprised, as he thought she was in Russia. They chat and David admires Phoebe's appearance, before revealing that he has gotten multiple haircuts. Then, David makes a surprising confession to Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Uh, I-I-I was hoping to run into you here. I didn't know whether I should call or not, y'know I-I was only in town for a few days. And y'know, I didn't want to intrude on your life or-or anything like that, but I-I really wanted to see you and-but I didn't know if you wanted to see me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, of course I would want to see you. I...I think about you all the time. David : Really? Because I think about you all the time. Phoebe Buffay : Really? David : I mean, there's a statue in Minsk... Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. David : That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-it's actually of Lenin. But, y'know at certain angles... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. David : Umm, anyway...Do you want to have dinner tonight? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Oh no!", "summary": "David wants to see Phoebe but is unsure if she wants to see him. They both think about each other often and decide to have dinner together."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Oh. Uh, what? Phoebe Buffay : I can't. I can't believe I have plans, I can't. Can you do it tomorrow night though? David : Uh no, I have to go in a few hours. I have to be on the red-eye. Well listen, y'know, next time you're in Minsk umm... Monica Geller : Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I have plans with Joey tonight. Monica Geller : So! He'll understand! Phoebe Buffay : No he won't. And that's not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now y'know what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I don't have my principles, I don't have anything! Monica Geller : God, you are so strong.", "summary": "David has plans with Joey but needs to cancel due to work reasons. Phoebe disagrees with cancelling plans and believes in standing by one's principles. Monica tries to mediate the conversation but ends up admiring Phoebe's determination."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Or! I should rush through dinner with Joey and I can meet David at 9:00! Rachel Green : Oh my God! That is so good! Chandler Bing : I'm full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, I'll regret it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What do you got there? Rachel Green : Oh it's umm, it's tofu cake. Do you want some? Chandler Bing : What are you doing tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Uh... Chandler Bing : Dude! Dude!", "summary": "Phoebe plans to meet David at 9pm, but wants to rush through dinner with Joey first. Rachel and Joey discuss the tofu cake Rachel brought, while Chandler expresses his regret over eating too much and Joey tries to steal food from Rachel's plate."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Sorry. Uh, I've got those plans with Phoebe, why? Chandler Bing : Oh really? Uh, Monica said she had a date at 9:00. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Tonight?! Chandler Bing : That's what Monica said. Joey Tribbiani : After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think she's trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy! Ross Geller : Oh here, I think this is us. Yeah. Monica Geller : Limited seating my ass. Let's see who made the cut. Hi! The Wedding Guest : Hi! Monica Geller : I'm Monica Gellar. Who do you know the bride and groom? The Wedding Guest : Oh, I used to work with Frannie.", "summary": "Monica has a date at 9pm but made plans with Joey earlier that day. Joey suspects she's trying to double-book him and accuses her of pulling a fast one on \"Big Daddy.\" Meanwhile, Chandler reveals that Monica said she had a date at 9pm, leading to Joey's confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Used to work with her. Used to! I'm a relative and I didn't get invited! A blood relative! Blood!! Ross Geller : Stop saying, \"Blood\" to strangers. Monica Geller : So, how about you huh? How do you know the happy couple? The Second Guest : We went to college with both of them and now we live next door. Monica Geller : Okay, you're fine. The Waiter : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! The Waiter : Are you guys ready? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and water's fine. The Waiter : Okay.", "summary": "Monica Geller is upset that she wasn't invited to a party hosted by her relative, despite being a blood relative. Ross Geller tells her to stop saying \"blood\" to strangers. The Second Guest introduces themselves and reveals they went to college with the happy couple. Phoebe Buffay joins the group and orders a salad."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. The Waiter : And for you sir? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, this slow roasted salmon, just how slow are we talkin' here? The Waiter : It's uh, it's already been roasted. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, then no. Maybe I should hear those specials again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Joey, we've heard the specials three times! Okay? There's prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. The Waiter : Actually we're out of the lobster ravioli. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, that changes everything! Y'know what Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Joey Tribbiani : You were right before. I mean, friends are so important.", "summary": "The group goes to a restaurant and discusses their food orders, with Joey expressing interest in a slow-roasted salmon but then changing his mind when he learns it's already been roasted. The waiter informs them that they are out of lobster ravioli, which changes Joey's decision. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Joey have a conversation about the importance of friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm very wise. I know. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know-y'know what I really want? Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Is to have a long, long talk. Y'know? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up. The Waiter : Any progress? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! I will have the lobster ravioli. Phoebe Buffay : God Joey, this is taking forever! Joey Tribbiani : What's the rush? What? Phoebe Buffay : W-w-I just-it's that-I have-y'know I have-I have an appointment. And it's very important. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, what is it?", "summary": "Joey wants to have a long talk with Phoebe, but she keeps interrupting him and is in a rush."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well... It's a date. Joey Tribbiani : A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldn't schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend! Phoebe Buffay : Come on Joey, don't make me feel badly about this. Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm gonna!! That's right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin' out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, you're doing the same thing! Phoebe Buffay : That-It's not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, he's very special to me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too! Phoebe Buffay : She was? Joey Tribbiani : Well, she graduated from high school! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, whatever. Y'know what? I don't have time have time to convince you because he's only here for four hours, and I'm gonna go see him! Joey Tribbiani : Fine!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay has a date with David, a scientist she's interested in. Joey Tribbiani tries to make her feel bad about it, but Phoebe insists it's not the same as when he went out with another woman earlier that night. Despite Joey's efforts to convince her otherwise, Phoebe is determined to spend time with David and goes to see him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : What are you still doin' here?! I told you, lobster ravioli! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! David : Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didn't think you were coming. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wouldn't miss this. David : Well, I'm very glad you're here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're such a gentleman. Come on! We're going to my place! Chandler Bing : Are you eating the cheesecake without me?!", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey have a conversation about lobster ravioli, with Phoebe expressing excitement and Joey asking her to leave. David enters and is glad to see Phoebe, who invites him to come with her to her place. Chandler arrives and asks if anyone is eating the cheesecake without him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Mm-mmm. Chandler Bing : I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. How can you eat the cheesecake without me?! Rachel Green : Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I don't trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and I'm takin' it back! Rachel Green : What?! What?! Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Rachel Green : Wait a minute! Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no-no-no, no you don't! Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Oh yes!", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler steal a cheesecake from Monica and Joey's apartment. They get into an argument over it and Chandler takes it back."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You think I trust you with it?! No! We're gonna split it! You take half and I take half! Chandler Bing : Well that's not fair, you've already had some! Rachel Green : What? Oh, well then y'know what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy. Chandler Bing : What do we use to split it? Rachel Green : Okay! All right, pick a half. Chandler Bing : Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh... There's more crust on this side. Y'know? So, maybe if I measured... Rachel Green : Oh for God sake just pick a piece! Chandler Bing : All right, I'll pick that one. Rachel Green : That's also the smaller piece. Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and don't come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. Oh!!!! Chandler Bing : Ohhh!", "summary": "Chandler and Rachel argue over a cheesecake they are splitting, with Chandler wanting to split it fairly but Rachel insisting on taking half already eaten."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, you gotta give me some of your piece. Chandler Bing : Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and don't come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my... The Woman : Ross, sweetheart! Ross Geller : Oh, hey Aunt Millie. Aunt Millie : Isn't it a beautiful wedding?! Ross Geller : Yes, yes it is. It's uh... Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?! Monica Geller : Here's Frannie. Hmm, won't she be happy to see me? Ross Geller : Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didn't bring you here so you can ambush her. Monica Geller : Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom. Ross Geller : That bitch!", "summary": "Ross tries to share a piece of cake with Chandler but Chandler refuses, leading to a comical exchange. Aunt Millie compliments Ross on his wedding, and Monica brings up an old conflict involving Rachel and Frannie."}
-{"dialogues": "Franny : Monica! What... Monica Geller : Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?! Ross Geller : Hi Frannie, congratulations. Monica Geller : You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! What-Why wouldn't you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! Stuart! Franny : I believe you know my husband. Ross Geller : So it's really a question of who could you have possibly done. David : Oh, I hate this but I-I-I have to go. I-I can't miss my flight. Phoebe Buffay : Are you sure? I'll bet there's another flight to Minsk in like... David : July. Umm, Phoebe Buffay : That's really beautiful. What does it mean?", "summary": "Monica Geller is upset that she was not invited to Ross and Franny's wedding, despite being brought by Ross. She wonders why she was excluded from the guest list and accuses Ross of not wanting her at the wedding. Meanwhile, David has to leave early due to a flight departure time conflict, and Phoebe tries to comfort him by explaining the beauty of Minsk, Belarus."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Please, clean my beakers. I don't get out of the lab much. Phoebe Buffay : That's good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else. David : Yeah, I... Well I really actually wanted to say umm, that, but um, I figured I probably shouldn't because y'know, I...have to leave. Phoebe Buffay : You're right! You're right. Don't say it. David : I-I do though. Phoebe Buffay : I do too. David : Bye Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now's not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No Pheebs, I'm not gonna yell at you. I just y'know, started thinking about you and David and I...remember how bummed you were the first time he left. And I just... Oh Pheebs, come here. Are you okay? Phoebe Buffay : No I'm not okay. The only guy I've ever been crazy about has gone to Minsk and I may never...I may never see him again.", "summary": "David wants Phoebe to clean his beakers, but he is hesitant to ask her. Phoebe assumes it is something else before David clarifies that he really wants her to clean his beakers. Joey enters and Phoebe tries to avoid talking about David leaving for Minsk. Phoebe becomes upset as she reflects on the only man she has ever been in love with leaving her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know you could always visit him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, like they're gonna let me have a passport. Joey Tribbiani : Anything I can do? Whatever you need. Phoebe Buffay : Well-But-Now, if-if you can achieve positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles y'know before he does, then he can come back. Joey Tribbiani : I can give it a shot. Rachel Green : Oh! Yay! Look! There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it! Chandler Bing : Stick to your side! Rachel Green : Hey, come on now! Joey Tribbiani : All right, what are we havin'? Monica Geller : Oh wait I forgot my wrap.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe and Joey discuss how to bring back her friend who has passed away, with Phoebe suggesting the possibility of positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles. Joey agrees to give it a shot, while Rachel and Chandler argue over a piece of floor that doesn't have any. Monica forgets her wrap."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Oh, okay. Wait here. Aunt Millie : Hi sweetie! Are you leaving? Ross Geller : Well... Aunt Millie : Give us a kiss. Come on! Come on! Ross Geller : Why?! Why on the lips?! Monica Geller : Ross, when's this comet thing start? Ross Geller : Well, technically it seven billion years ago... #ALL# : Oh no! Oh no! Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Fine, I'll stop! No teaching, okay? We'll just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. Okay? Who's official name is Bapstein-King. #ALL# : Okay! Okay!", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss a comet that occurred seven billion years ago, while Aunt Millie tries to get a kiss from Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : There it is! Oh, look at that! Isn't Mother Nature amazing? Chandler Bing : That's a plane! Phoebe Buffay : Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, that's pretty amazing too. Tag Jones : Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here. Rachel Green : No. No, you can't. Tag Jones : What? Rachel Green : Oh I don't-I don't know. Ross Geller : Man, look at all those stars! Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesn't it? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what else makes you wonder? Ross Geller : Huh?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group observes a plane flying overhead and discusses the wonders of nature and technology. Tag wonders if they can see his apartment from up high, while Rachel dismisses the idea. Ross muses about the vastness of space and the stars, while Joey makes a humorous comment."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Check out the rack on this chick! Monica Geller : Okay, we've been out here for two hours and we haven't seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandler's getting chilly. Chandler Bing : No, I'm not! Joey Tribbiani : Then why are you wearing Monica's jacket? Chandler Bing : Because it's flattering! Come on Monica! Come on Monica! Rachel Green : Yeah actually, I think we're gonna take off too. We rented a movie. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I won't say, 'no' to a movie! Rachel Green : Uh Pheebs, we just actually kinda wanted to be alone. Phoebe Buffay : Shh! Get me out of here. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group goes stargazing but doesn't see any comets after two hours. They decide to leave, with Chandler wearing Monica's jacket and Monica getting cold. Rachel wants to rent a movie, but Phoebe misunderstands and thinks they want to be alone."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Come here, check this out! Ross Geller : What? Is it the comet? Joey Tribbiani : No! No-no. Look, there's a bug stuck in tar right here. Ross Geller : Joey come-I can't believe-I bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of nature's most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, there's two women dude. Ross Geller : Show me where? Joey Tribbiani : Right-right up here. Ross Geller : Joey where's the pipe that was holding the door open?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Two women are seen walking in the distance, and Joey and Ross discuss them. Joey points out a bug stuck in tar, and Ross expresses frustration at Joey's lack of interest in the comet."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! Yeah, I do. Ross Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : What?! All right-Hey! Don't look at me! You're the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet! Ross Geller : It's called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no! No! No! Chandler Bing : Monica! Monica Geller : She's sleeping. Chandler Bing : I know, just quick-quick question, quick question. Which one was Deep Impact and which one was Armageddon? Monica Geller : Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is what's going to happen to you if you wake me up. Chandler Bing : Sorry, I just...can't sleep. Ooh! Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover I'm like...", "summary": "Joey and Ross argue over a comet, while Chandler asks Monica which movie was Deep Impact and which one was Armageddon. Monica wakes up and Chandler can't sleep, so he asks her for help finding a book with two women ice-skating in hats with flowers on them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin. Chandler Bing : What?! Ow! Phoebe Buffay : Please don't be a space ship. Please don't be a space ship. Oh thank God! How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can... Smoke Detector : Beep! Phoebe Buffay : Don't interrupt me!! Ross Geller : Rachel!! Monica!! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Ross Geller : I can't believe this!! Joey Tribbiani : All right well, y'know...I guess we know what we have to do to get down. Ross Geller : Yeah, I guess we don't have a choice. Help us! Please help us! We're stuck up on the roof and we can't get down!!!", "summary": "The group is stuck on a roof after a smoke detector beeps, interrupting Phoebe's attempt to disconnect it. They try to find a way down but are unable to, with Ross and Joey ultimately deciding they need help from someone."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. Ross Geller : I know, I wasn't finished. But don't worry! We're gonna go down the fire escape!! Chandler Bing : Shhhhhhhhh!!! I'm sorry, I thought maybe I'd make some warm milk and it would help me sleep. Monica Geller : With a wok? I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep. Chandler Bing : It got interesting! Damn you Oprah! Monica Geller : Here, let me make the milk, I'm up anyway. Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what we can do? Y'know, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, y'know like we did when we were first going out. It'd be fun! Monica Geller : Okay that does sound like fun. Chandler Bing : Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh? Monica Geller : The second sister dies?!", "summary": "The friends consider sneaking down a fire escape, but Ross isn't finished. Chandler makes warm milk to help him sleep, and Monica offers to make it for him. They reminisce about their early days together and decide to stay up talking all night. Monica reveals she was sad when a character in a book died, and Chandler asks her how bummed she was."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No. No, I-I was, I was talking about the book I was reading. Monica Geller : The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest? Chandler Bing : That's correct. Rachel Green : You wanna go in the bedroom? It's a little more comfortable. Tag Jones : Sure. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan? Tag Jones : If this is your idea of sexy talk? Rachel Green : No seriously, y'know the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them? Tag Jones : What contracts? Rachel Green : Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I don't get.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a book being read by Chandler Bing, who incorrectly attributes information about the second sister dying in \"Archie and Jughead Double Digest\" to Monica Geller. Rachel Green suggests going into another room for more comfort, but Tag Jones misunderstands her intentions. The conversation continues with confusion over contracts and whether or not they were sent to Milan."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Like what? Rachel Green : Y'know, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? Tag! I'm serious! This isn't funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today! Tag Jones : Rach, I'm sorry, but you didn't give me any contracts! Rachel Green : Yes I did! And I put a little Post-It on it that said, \"Must go out today,\" and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in the corner because I didn't want to seem to bossy. Tag Jones : I'm telling you, you never gave them to me. Rachel Green : Y'know what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk. Tag Jones : No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk! Rachel Green : Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch! Tag Jones : You wanna go down to the office right now? Rachel Green : No! Come on its late, we're not gonna go down to the office.", "summary": "Tag Jones and Rachel Green are discussing the delivery of contracts that Rachel claimed she gave to Tag. Tag insists he never received them, and Rachel threatens to take him to the office to prove it. The conversation escalates with Tag offering to go to the office with Rachel, and Rachel declining."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Okay I understand. I wouldn't want to be proved wrong either. Rachel Green : Okay get your coat! Oh! When did you unhook this? Nice work! Joey Tribbiani : All right, it won't go down any further. It's stuck. Ross Geller : Ugh. Well, we're just gonna have to jump. Yeah. Now, we're gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there...you go up to the roof and you let me in. Joey Tribbiani : Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?! Ross Geller : Yeah! Oh yeah, you'll be fine! It-it'll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Y'know? But instead of bouncing back up you-you won't. Joey Tribbiani : What if I smack my head on the concrete? Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna lie to you Joey, it's a possibility. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know Ross! I-I tell you what, let's flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right? Ross Geller : Oh, all right. Tails! Can you-can you see what it is?", "summary": "Ross and Joey are planning to jump off a building, with Ross insisting that Joey do it first. They flip a coin to see who goes first, but Joey is hesitant and unsure."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No. Ross Geller : Okay. Well, you be careful. Joey Tribbiani : What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! I'm not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I can't go if I break my leg. Ross Geller : Well I'm jumping! I have a son! Okay? He won't have a father if-if I die! Joey Tribbiani : Well all right so, it looks like we're even! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do... Well done, Pheebs. What do you want from me?!!!!!!! Monica Geller : Okay, here's your milk. What do you want to talk about? Chandler Bing : What? What? What? Monica Geller : Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? I'm sorry. Here. Tag Jones : Okay! Feel free to look, but I'm telling you those contracts are not on this desk.", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue over jumping off a bridge, with Ross claiming he has a son who won't have a father if he dies. Phoebe tries to fix a malfunctioning wire, but Monica interrupts with milk talk. Chandler is sleepy and disoriented, while Tag insists that important contracts are not on his desk."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what I'm talking about! You have to be organized! You've got newspapers! You've got magazines! You got-Ohh! And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever. Tag Jones : It's my sister. Rachel Green : Okay, very cute braces. Anyway y'know what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. Tag Jones : So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the afternoon? Rachel Green : In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it that said, \"Must go out today.\" So you just keep looking in there! All right? Tag Jones : It's not here. Rachel Green : Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why don't you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there? Tag Jones : How could I have left them in the copy room? Rachel Green : I don't know Tag! How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay? It's not a perfect world! Just go please. Tag Jones : Fine.", "summary": "Rachel Green is searching for missing contracts on her desk and accuses her coworker Tag Jones of losing them. Tag insists he didn't take them and suggests checking the copy room. Rachel becomes frustrated and makes a crude comment about Tag's genitalia. The conversation ends with Tag agreeing to search for the contracts again."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Thank you. Hello? I still don't get it. Monica Geller : Are you still awake? Chandler Bing : Yeah! You? Monica Geller : You do know that was me who just said that right? Hey. As long as we're both up... Chandler Bing : Yeah? I hope you're not thinking about cleaning the living room. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I'm starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! \"Do you want soup or salad?\" Both! Always order both! Ross Geller : Y'know, y'know I'm lookin' and I don't think anyone's home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and y'know explain later. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Really? No one's home? Ross Geller : I don't think so. Hello? When you get in there... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is where you and I part ways. Noisy bitch!", "summary": "The group is awake in the middle of the night and discusses various topics, including a possible break-in at Rachel's apartment. Joey is hungry and wants to order both soup and salad for dinner. Ross suggests breaking into the apartment through a window, but Joey is unsure. Phoebe enters the conversation and refers to Rachel as a \"noisy bitch.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What?! What are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Do you know what just happened? Monica Geller : Yeah. We-we had sex and then we fell asleep. Chandler Bing : No. We were in the middle of sex...and you fell asleep. Monica Geller : Nooo! No, that's not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! Chandler Bing : Monica? Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right! Monica Geller : Okay. Okay, I'm ready. Come on big fella! Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have sex, but Monica falls asleep during it. When she wakes up, Chandler tries to make up for it by giving her some of his best moves, but Monica is still sleepy and misses out on the action."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Give me the good stuff. Chandler Bing : Yeah! No! No! No! Don't fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. And I probably won't spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm up! I'm up! Rachel Green : Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh... ...fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me? Tag Jones : Still no luck. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check all the drawers! Tag Jones : Do you want me to check again? Rachel Green : Well yeah, I wish that you would. Well, no it's not in there! How about that drawer? Tag Jones : Well, it's not out here. Is there any chance it could be in your office? Rachel Green : Y'know, I don't-I don't know. Let me, let me check.", "summary": "Monica Geller wants coffee, but Chandler Bing may spill it. Tag Jones can't find something for Rachel Green. Rachel Green searches various drawers and offices for something but can't find it."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Any luck? Rachel Green : Can I see you in my office for a minute? Tag Jones : Yeah? You found them!! Y'know what? I'm not even going to gloat. I'm just really relived this whole thing is over. Rachel Green : You put these on my desk! Tag Jones : I did not! Rachel Green : Oh really? So you're saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! Tag Jones : How did you know they were in my bottom drawer? Rachel Green : I am so hot for you right now. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! How did you get back here?! A Disembodied Voice : Phoebe Buffay?!", "summary": "Tag Jones and Rachel Green discuss a situation involving Tag's bottom drawer and Rachel's desk. Tag claims he didn't put anything on Rachel's desk, but Rachel finds something there that suggests otherwise. The conversation becomes increasingly absurd and surreal, with Phoebe Buffay entering the scene and asking how she got back to where she is."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Fire alarm? Oh! Hi, officer-fireman, can-can I help you? The Fireman : We found your fire alarm in the trash chute. Phoebe Buffay : That's not mine. The Fireman : Yes it is. Phoebe Buffay : How do you know? The Fireman : The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, don't wrap it in a blanket that says, \"Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica.\" Phoebe Buffay : Okay do you-Okay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America! The Fireman : Please reattach this, it's against the law to disconnect them. Phoebe Buffay : Fine! But please God; tell me how to stop them from going off! The Fireman : There's a reset button under the plastic cover.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe Buffay accidentally disposes of a fire alarm in a trash chute, and the fire department finds it. Phoebe denies owning the alarm, but the fireman produces evidence from the blanket wrapped around it, which reads \"Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica.\" The fireman warns Phoebe that disconnecting fire alarms is illegal and instructs her how to reset it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : There's a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! There's a reset button! My God! Why didn't I see that! Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? Oh here it is! Oh! Ohh, God! Ross Geller : Okay, do-do you have a good grip? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Okay, I'm going to start climb down you now. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Just hurry up! Ross Geller : Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so we're face to face or-or should I climb down your back so we're-we're butt to face. Joey Tribbiani : I think face to face. Ross Geller : I would say that. Joey Tribbiani : Face to face, yeah! Ross Geller : Okay, here I go.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are trying to climb down Phoebe's body to reach a reset button."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my... How much do you weigh Ross?! Ross Geller : I prefer not to answer that right now, I'm still carrying a little holiday weight. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, when we talked about face to face, I don't think we thought it all the way through. Ross Geller : So what do you want me to do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, just shimmy down me and drop! Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Ross Geller : M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!", "summary": "Ross and Joey engage in a humorous conversation about their weights and body shapes, with Ross preferring not to reveal his weight and Joey suggesting they use each other as climbing structures."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's still looks pretty far! Joey Tribbiani : It's not that far! Just drop! Ross Geller : Do not rush me!! Joey Tribbiani : Ross, you should know that my pants are startin' to come down and I'm not wearing any underwear! Ross Geller : Oww!! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when I-Ooh, a quarter! Monica Geller : That really was some of your best work. Chandler Bing : Hm-hmm, I told you! I can't believe that I've only got two hours before I call in sick for work. Monica Geller : I have to be up in seven minutes. Chandler Bing : Well, you're not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes... Monica Geller : Really?!", "summary": "Ross hurts his ankle while Joey starts to drop from a rope. Monica and Chandler discuss their schedules before Chandler reveals a surprise."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Do you wanna? Monica Geller : Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and I'll get the furniture polish! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Rachel Green : Well, y'know I was thinking of moving the couch over here. Joey Tribbiani : Why would you want to do that? Rachel Green : So that there will be a decent place for me to sit. Joey Tribbiani : Rach, there is a decent place to... Rachel Green : And your lap does not count! Okay? Come on help me move this.", "summary": "Rachel wants to move the couch to a new location in the living room, but Joey and Monica are hesitant to help her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No. No. No. Rachel Green : No? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rosita does not move. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, Rosita? As in... Joey Tribbiani : As in Rosita does not move. Rachel Green : Joey, it's just a chair! What's the big deal? Joey Tribbiani : The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and it's at the perfect angle so you don't get any glare coming of off Stevie. Rachel Green : Stevie the TV? Joey Tribbiani : Is there a problem? Rachel Green : No! Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! You bitch!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey argue over a chair in the living room, with Joey insisting it's the perfect spot for the TV and Rachel dismissing his concerns."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what's weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people you're gonna have to say, \"This is my brother-in-law Ross.\" Not, \"My friend Ross,\" \"brother-in-law Ross.\" That's weird isn't it? Chandler Bing : Couldn't I just say, \"This is Ross?\" Ross Geller : Sure, do whatever you want. Monica Geller : Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section... Ross Geller : Yeah? Monica Geller : Look at this. Ross Geller : Oh, it looks like mom and dad's house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is...Oh my God!! Phoebe Buffay : What? What happened to the window in the attic?! Monica Geller : I can't believe mom and dad are selling the house! Ross Geller : I can't believe they-they didn't even tell us!", "summary": "Ross discovers that his parents are selling their house, which he grew up in. Monica is shocked and upset by this news, and the group discusses how strange it is that Ross will now have to introduce himself as \"brother-in-law Ross\" instead of just \"friend Ross.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe I still don't know what happened to the window in the attic! Ross Geller : Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! Yes we're surprised! Who did you leave a message with? Chandler Bing : Sorry! Rachel Green : Joey, Joey I am so sorry. Joey Tribbiani : I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said don't, and I did it anyway and her head fell off? Rachel Green : Okay, come on-Joey, I'll buy you a new one! All right? We'll go down to the store right now and we'll-we'll get you a new chair. Joey Tribbiani : She's not even cold yet! Rachel Green : But don't you think Rosita would've wanted you to move on? I mean y'know, she did always put...your comfort first. Joey Tribbiani : That's true. Rachel Green : Okay? You ready?", "summary": "Ross and Monica discover that their parents' house has been sold in a newspaper without their knowledge or consent, leading to a heated discussion among the friends. Meanwhile, Joey accidentally knocks over and damages his mother's headstone while moving it, and Rachel suggests they buy him a new one to honor Rosita's wishes."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I... I don't want Stevie to see her like this. Ross Geller : I can't believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some stranger's gonna be living in my room. Monica Geller : Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, it's time the velvet ropes came down. Ross Geller : They kept your room for a while. Monica Geller : Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria's Secret catalogues, not a gym! Ross Geller : Come on, you know they love you. Monica Geller : As much as they love you? Ross Geller : I was their first born! They thought she was barren! It's not my fault. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are saying goodbye to their childhood home, which is being sold. Monica is upset that her room will be occupied by a stranger, while Ross notes that his parents kept his old room as a shrine to him despite turning it into a gym after he moved out. Phoebe enters the conversation and offers her condolences."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, I hate this year! Ross Geller : What's wrong with this year? Phoebe Buffay : Well okay, it's already February and I've only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world! Monica Geller : That was me and Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's right! Ross Geller : Hey, y'know if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing. Monica Geller : Oh that's a great idea. You're really good on the phone. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Y'know, I probably wouldn't have to say spank as much. Ross Geller : What?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss their struggles with making money through massage therapy, while Ross suggests telemarketing as a potential side hustle."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, like you never called! Supervisor : So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office. Supervisor : Why don't we do a trial run. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay. Umm, all right. Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? Supervisor : I'm the supply manager. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs. Supervisor : We don't need any toner. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay, well I'm sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. Yeah you're right, this is easy. Supervisor : Okay, what was wrong with that call?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay attempts to sell toner to a supply manager, but the manager already has all the toner they need. Phoebe struggles through the call and ultimately fails to make a sale."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, all right...um, no offense, but you were kind of rude. Supervisor : They're always going to tell you they don't need toner, but that's okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Supervisor : So, I think you're ready to sell toner, do you have any last questions? Phoebe Buffay : No. Oh wait yes! I do, I do have one question. What is toner? Chandler Bing : Joey! Joe! Full bag. Beer's still cold. Something terrible must've happened here! Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! Stevie, I was never here! Ross Geller : Dad? Jack Geller : I'm here! Ross Geller : Hey! Jack Geller : Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a sales pitch for toner, with Phoebe Buffay expressing confusion about what toner is and Supervisor providing explanations and reassurances. Chandler Bing enters with a beer and comments on an unspecified event, while Ross Geller and Jack Geller interact briefly."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Dad, we-we can't believe you're selling the house. Jack Geller : Well, it's time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling. Ross Geller : Let's grab our stuff and get the hell out of here. Jack Geller : I'm sorry we can't store your childhood things anymore. Monica Geller : Oh, that's okay, I can't wait to see everything again! All of the memories... Jack Geller : Well, I don't know what's in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic. Monica Geller : I used to love to play restaurant. Ross Geller : Yeah, not as much as you used to love to play uncooked batter eater. Monica Geller : Hey, it is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies! Jack Geller : So, I think you're boxes are over here.", "summary": "A family is selling their house and going through their belongings to prepare for the move. The parents are nostalgic about the memories they made in the house, while the children are excited to leave and start new. The father discovers a collection of Easy Bake Ovens in the attic, which brings back memories for the mother. Meanwhile, the son jokes about playing uncooked batter eater, and the daughter is upset that she can't take all of her childhood belongings with her to the new house."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wow! Great! Wait, dad who-who's cigarettes are these? Jack Geller : I don't know. They-they must be your mother's, but please, please don't ask her. I'll throw these away. Ross Geller : Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym... Oooh, my rock polisher! Jack Geller : Oh look, look there's your old makeup kit! Ross Geller : It's a clown kit! Clown kit! Jack Geller : Well, the white seems to be untouched. Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What? Jack Geller : Y'know how the garage floods every Spring? Ross Geller : How are you ever going to sell this place? Jack Geller : I think I accidentally used Monica's boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.", "summary": "Ross discovers his father's old cigarettes and asks about them, but Jack doesn't want to discuss it. Ross then shows off his report cards, which are all A's, and Jack finds an old makeup kit in the attic. As they continue to clean out the attic, they find a flooded garage and accidentally used Monica's boxes to keep water away from their Porsche."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh no. Dad! Dad! What... Oh God...everything's ruined! Dad, she's gonna be crushed! Jack Geller : You don't secretly smoke do you? Ross Geller : No! Jack Geller : So it's just your mother then. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? Earl, thanks. Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies I'd like to talk to you about your toner needs. Earl : I don't need any toner. Phoebe Buffay : I'm hearing what you're saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner. Earl : Not me. Phoebe Buffay : May I ask why? Earl : You wanna know why. You wanna know why?", "summary": "Ross panics when he thinks his mother is going to be crushed, while Jack questions Ross about smoking. Phoebe calls to discuss toner needs with Earl, but he refuses, insisting he doesn't need any."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I surely do! Earl : Okay, I don't need any toner because I'm going to kill myself. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, is-is that because you're out of toner? Earl : Okay, so...no toner today. Thanks anyway, bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : No-no wait-wait! I can't just let you hang up! Just please talk to me. Earl : Well...I Only Have One Thing To Do Today. I guess I could push it back. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Now, why do you want to kill yourself? Earl : It's just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist! Phoebe Buffay : Chandler? Earl : I-I'm sorry?", "summary": "Earl wants to kill himself because he feels unappreciated at his job and no one cares about him. He confides in Phoebe, who tries to talk him out of it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No look, I-I'm sure that people know you exist! Earl : Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. I've been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no one's even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. Hey everybody! Uh, I'm gonna kill myself! I'll get back to ya. I got nothing. Wait. Uh, hey Marge! Ehh, nothing. Nothing. Chandler Bing : My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! Rachel Green : You will like it! Joey Tribbiani : No I won't. Rachel Green : You don't even know! Joey Tribbiani : Because, I know what I like and what I don't like! It's not the same thing! Rachel Green : Well look, if you don't like this... Joey Tribbiani : I don't know why you say that so soon. Rachel Green : Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, y'know what I was thinking? We could name her Francette.", "summary": "Earl talks about killing himself to his coworkers, who ignore him. Chandler gives his chair a new name, and Joey expresses disinterest in it. Rachel buys Joey an expensive new chair."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Francette? What is she? A couch? Joey Tribbiani : Poor thing. Cut down in her prime. Rachel Green : Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Y'know, start the heeling process? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I guess you're right. Maybe, maybe I'll take her down to the incinerator. It's gonna be so said, and kinda cool. She's heeled! Rachel Green : That's weird. Joey Tribbiani : No it's not weird, it's a miracle! Rachel Green : It's not a miracle Joey! I'm sure there's some explanation. Joey Tribbiani : Oh there is! If you want something enough and your heart is pure, wondrous things can happen! Rachel Green : Joey, I really don't... Joey Tribbiani : Can you tell me how this happened?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani believes that Francette, a couch, has come to life after she was cut down in her prime. Rachel Green suggests they move Rosita, another couch, out of the way to start the healing process, but Joey has other ideas. He plans to take Rosita to the incinerator, calling it a \"miracle\" and believing that if you want something enough and your heart is pure, incredible things can happen."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well no. Joey Tribbiani : Miracle! Rachel Green : No, y'know what? Maybe somebody came in here and fixed it! Or something! Joey Tribbiani : Someone like an...angel? Rachel Green : That's right Joey, the chair angel came in and heeled your chair. Joey Tribbiani : Get your non-believer ass outta my chair! Jack Geller : Well, she'll understand right? It's not like I did it on purpose. Ross Geller : Dad that won't matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her. Jack Geller : Oh my God, does she really thinks that? Ross Geller : Well, can you blame her?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel discovers that Joey's chair has been fixed, leading to a confrontation between the two. Jack tries to defend himself by saying he didn't intentionally damage the chair, while Ross points out that his belongings are safe and dry but Rachel's is growing new things. The conversation escalates with Joey using the term \"angel\" to describe whoever fixed his chair, leading to a humorous exchange between the characters."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : Well I don't know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could... Ross Geller : Dad, dad I don't want to hear about it. Jack Geller : Really? Ross Geller : Well, not right now. Okay look, Monica came here for some memories and damnit, we're gonna give her some! Okay, grab...grab some empty boxes. Okay? We'll-we'll take stuff from mine and whatever we can pass off as hers we'll-we'll put 'em in their. Jack Geller : Great! Ross Geller : Like uh y'know like this! This! She-she could've made this! Jack Geller : Sure! Ross Geller : Right? And this! She-she could've won this! Jack Geller : This could've been hers! Ross Geller : Sure! Ooh-ooh, what about this?", "summary": "Ross and Monica seek to give her memories by filling empty boxes with items that could have belonged to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : Your make-up kit? I'd feel better. Rachel Green : I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, me too. Rachel Green : Hey, how's...how's the uh, miracle chair? Joey Tribbiani : Fine. Rachel Green : Yeah? Wow! Y'know, that this thing has speakers in the headrest! Joey Tribbiani : No. Really? Rachel Green : Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio! Joey Tribbiani : My chair heels itself. Phoebe Buffay : Earl, you're not hearing me! All I'm saying is that you're not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with!", "summary": "Rachel keeps a chair for herself at Central Perk, Joey has a miracle chair with speakers in the headrest, and Phoebe says that everyone hates their coworkers."}
-{"dialogues": "Guy : Hey guy! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you. Earl : No! That's just the \"Hey Guy\" guy. He says that to everybody! He's the worst! I'd like to take him with me! Phoebe Buffay : All right so Earl, let's just forget about the people at the office, okay? There-there's gotta be someone else in your life worth sticking around for! What about-what about your family, your friends, or maybe your girlfriend? Earl : Yeah! Right! Phoebe Buffay : Oh sorry, boyfriend! Earl : Oh no. Phoebe Buffay : No, whatever! Anything! The \"Hey Guy\" Guy : Hey guy! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, he's gotta go.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A man named Earl is annoyed by a coworker who constantly greets him with \"Hey guy!\" Earl expresses his frustration to Phoebe Buffay, who suggests forgetting about the people at the office and focusing on his personal life instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Earl : Okay, I should, I should probably be getting back to my thing now. See ya. Phoebe Buffay : No! I'm not finished yet! Don't! Don't you dare hang up on me!!! Supervisor : The new girl's good. Monica Geller : Hey guys! Hey! Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days. Jack Geller : That's a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days! Ross Geller : Yeah! Yeah! Oh, this will make a great memory. Monica Geller : Okay. So, which boxes are mine? Ross Geller : Well, these. These are yours right here.", "summary": "Earl wants to end the conversation, but Phoebe refuses to let him go. A supervisor enters and compliments the new girl, while Monica announces that she has baked some treats that will be ready in three days. Jack finds this amusing, and Ross takes notice of the time frame. Monica then asks which boxes are hers."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Oh! A coloring book! Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book. Monica Geller : Really? Wow! It looks like I had some trouble staying inside the lines. Ross Geller : Nu-uh! Monica Geller : Oh, an old glove? Jack Geller : Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove. Monica Geller : Wow! Look At This! I Can'T Believe I Even Fit Into This Shirt! Oh, this is yours. Ross Geller : Oh, I don't know how that got in there. Monica Geller : This isn't mine. Hey, this isn't, this isn't my stuff! Ugh, Ross! These are your boxes! Where are my boxes? Ross Geller : Umm, your boxes are umm...", "summary": "Monica and Ross reminisce about old belongings they used to carry around with them everywhere. Monica had a coloring book that she never went anywhere without, while Ross had an old glove that he also took everywhere. They find each other's old items in their boxes and are surprised by what they find."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Dad? Jack Geller : Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. I'm sorry. Monica Geller : Just mine? Jack Geller : I'm afraid so. Monica Geller : So why-why wasn't Ross's stuff ruined? And if you say the words medical marvel I'm going to Easy Bake your head! Jack Geller : Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche. Monica Geller : So wait, Ross's stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!! Jack Geller : There was also leaves and guk and stuff. Monica Geller : I can't believe this!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a flooded garage that ruined Monica's belongings, while Ross's things were saved due to Jack using her boxes to divert water away from his Porsche. Monica is upset and accuses Jack of prioritizing the car over her memories."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : Screw it! I'm having one. Rachel Green : Hey Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'd love to but I've tried that so many times they won't even let me in the store anymore. Rachel Green : Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment? Chandler Bing : Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year? Rachel Green : I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. Chandler Bing : That's awesome! That's great! What made you do it?! Rachel Green : Well, it's a long story, but umm I broke Joey's chair...", "summary": "Jack Geller wants to buy a fully reclining chair with a massage and speakers in the headrest. Chandler Bing has tried this type of chair before but is no longer allowed in the store due to frequent visits. Rachel Green offers to let Chandler try the chair in her apartment, which she recently purchased: the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa! You broke Joey's chair? Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : I thought I broke Joey's chair! That's why I replaced it with mine! Rachel Green : Ohhhhh. That's how it got fixed! Chandler Bing : Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it? Rachel Green : Noo! Angels. Chandler Bing : I'm gettin' my chair back! Rachel Green : What? Wh-hey! Joey Tribbiani : Well, it looks like it wasn't heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! Chandler Bing : Joey you broke my chair!!", "summary": "Chandler accidentally breaks Joey's chair and replaces it with his own. Rachel mistakenly thinks elves fixed the chair, while Chandler believes angels did it. Joey finds out the truth and claims the new chair."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Your chair?! Rachel Green : Yeah, he thought he broke your chair so he switched the chairs! Joey Tribbiani : So, there was no miracle?! Rachel Green : No Joe, no miracle. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. I'm so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life. Rachel Green : Uh-huh! Nice try, but you don't get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! No I take that back! Chandler Bing : I think I should get the chair! Joey Tribbiani : How do you figure? Chandler Bing : Because you broke a chair and you broke a chair! The only one around here that hasn't broke a chair, is me! Rachel Green : No-no-no! This chair's not going anywhere.", "summary": "Joey breaks a chair, then switches it with another chair he thought was broken. However, when they discover that both chairs are still usable, Joey is devastated and tries to find ways to cope. Rachel takes the new chair for herself, while Chandler tries to get in on the action by claiming he's the only one who hasn't broken a chair."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, where's the logic in that?! Rachel Green : The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half! Chandler Bing : So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing! Joey Tribbiani : That's right! Chandler Bing : What are you guys? Like a gang or something?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! We are! Rachel Green : We're the Cobras! Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me! Can you tell me where I can find Earl? He's the supply manager around here. Marge : Sorry, I don't know any Earl. Earl : I'm right here!!!!", "summary": "The group is in a heated argument over a broken chair, with Chandler accusing Joey of breaking it and Joey defending himself. Rachel jokes that they are like a gang, and Phoebe asks where Earl (the supply manager) is. Earl suddenly appears, surprising everyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Earl! I'm Phoebe. Earl : Phoebe? The lady who sells toner? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, look it, you-you can't kill yourself. Earl : Look, um I really appreciate your coming down... Phoebe Buffay : No-no I can't! I can't let you do it! Earl : Why?! Phoebe Buffay : Because it was fate that made me call you today! Earl : I thought it was toner. Phoebe Buffay : No! Think about it okay? This isn't even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, you're my first call! And-and somebody else might've hung up on you, but I wouldn't do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself. Earl : Really?!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay goes to a man's house after receiving a call from him threatening suicide. She convinces him not to kill himself by revealing that she too has experienced suicidal loss through her mother."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Earl : How? Phoebe Buffay : I'm not gonna give you tips! Look don't you see that this-this...this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this. Earl : Couldn't it just be a coincidence? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's fate! Earl : It doesn't really seem like enough to be fate. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Well umm, okay here's a weird thing. My mother was also a supply manager. Earl : I'm actually the office manager. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl. Earl : Well, was there anything else?!", "summary": "Phoebe and Earl have a fateful encounter where Phoebe tries to stop Earl from doing something. They discover that they have a shared connection - both of their mothers were supply managers. Further, they find out that their names are similar (Phoebe's mother's name was Pearl and Earl's name is Earl)."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Umm, where are you from? Earl : Philadelphia. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! So was she! Oh, I've got-I've got goose bumps. Earl : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Well, y'know I'm wearing layers and it's warm. Earl : Yeah-yeah. Phoebe Buffay : But if-no look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot! Earl : Did you hear that?! I don't need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! I really wished they'd care just a little bit though. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, I don't-I don't think it's you. This is a freaky place. Hey! Guys! Oh no, it's you. Earl : Yeah.", "summary": "Earl is from Philadelphia and Phoebe is amazed. They discuss how the universe cares about them despite others not doing so."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I don't even know what it is! Ohh, it's still soft. What do you think this is? Ross Geller : All right. I think it was a mouse. Jack Geller : How are you honey? Monica Geller : How do you think I am?! You've wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face! Jack Geller : Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, I'm sorry about everything that happened and I'd probably never be able to make it up to you, but here's a start. Monica Geller : What's this? Jack Geller : It's the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : What?!!! Jack Geller : I've been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mother's right, I do look like an ass.", "summary": "Monica discovers a dead mouse in her bathroom and becomes upset, accusing Ross of destroying her childhood memories. Jack tries to make amends by offering Monica the key to his Porsche."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wait, you're giving me your Porsche, you're kidding me right?! Ross Geller : Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?! Jack Geller : Why don't we take it for a spin? Monica Geller : All right! Ross Geller : Well, what about me?! I'm a medical marvel!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Rachel Green : Ahhhh.... Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh...... Eh? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Hey guys!", "summary": "Monica gets a Porsche after two stupid boxes get wet, while Ross and Jack want to take it for a spin. Joey is excited but confused, and Rachel stays quiet."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Do you guys know what happened to Chandler's barca lounger? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, Joey broke it. Had to get rid of it. Monica Geller : Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca lounger's gone?! This is the best day ever! Ross Geller : Happy birthday!!! Monica Geller : Happy birthday!!! #ALL# : Rach! Come on! Rach! Monica Geller : It's your birthday! Tag Jones : Hey.", "summary": "Chandler's barcalounger is broken by Joey and Monica is upset because she got a Porsche as a gift and the barcalounger is gone. Rachel and Ross wish Monica a happy birthday and Monica is excited about her new car."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : She's not as pretty as she was when she was 29. Tag Jones : Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you don't use the words old or downhill or they still look pretty damn good. Joey Tribbiani : They do! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast! Monica Geller : Chocolate-chip pancakes! Ross Geller : We've got presents! Rachel Green : Good ones? Monica Geller : They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago. Rachel Green : Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29? Joey Tribbiani : Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.", "summary": "Rachel turns 30 and her friends try to make her feel better by giving her presents, but she is upset about aging. They argue over whether or not it's a big deal."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty? Joey Tribbiani : Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! Rachel Green : Y'know, I'm still 29 in Guam. Ross Geller : Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is? Rachel Green : Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this? Chandler Bing : No Rach, it's not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasn't that much fun. Joey Tribbiani : And now Chandler! We're all gettin' so old! Why are you doing this to us?! Monica Geller : Rach, you're in a great place in your life. Come on, you've got a great job! Good friends... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you're roommate is a soap opera star. Rachel Green : Look, y'know I know my life's going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people who've accomplished so many other goals by the time they're thirty.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss turning 30, with Ross downplaying its significance and Joey freaking out. Rachel joins in, feeling pressure to achieve her goals by a certain age. Chandler shares his unfun thirtieth birthday experience, and Monica tries to reassure Rachel that she's on the right track."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you shouldn't compare yourself to me. #ALL# : Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on! Rachel Green : There you go! Phoebe Buffay : I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! That's it!! That's everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. Rachel Green : Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty! Tag Jones : Come on, let's have some fun. Huh? What do you want to do today? Rachel Green : Nothing. I don't want to do anything. Monica Geller : Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross. Ross Geller : Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child! Ross Geller : How hot do I look in this, huh?!", "summary": "Phoebe wants to run a mile on a hippity hop and does so, except she also forgot about patching things up with her sister. Tag suggests doing something fun today, while Rachel doesn't want to do anything for her thirtieth birthday because she's still hungover from Ross's practical purchase of a new car."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ross, a sports car? Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there? Ross Geller : That's not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's the horsepower on this thing? Ross Geller : I don't know, but-but look how shiny! Monica Geller : I can't believe you bought this. Rachel Green : Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? I know it's really shallow, but a part of me wants him again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well get in line missy. So, can I have a ride stud? Ross Geller : Hop in. Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life. Ross Geller : Damnit! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, who's next?", "summary": "Ross buys a sports car, which he is enthusiastic about despite Monica's disapproval. Joey asks about the horsepower, and Ross shows off the shiny exterior. Phoebe expresses interest in taking a ride, and Ross offers her a turn. The group continues to react differently to Ross's purchase."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Y'know what? I am going to do something today. I'm not just gonna sit around like some old lady. I'm gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! 'Cause y'know that hurts. Rachel Green : So what?! Y'know what? The way I see it--Ow! Son of a bitch!! Tag Jones : Look Rachel, I know what you're going through. I'm totally freaked about turning 25. Rachel Green : Get out, get out of my apartment. Monica Geller : All right Rach, for what it's worth, I think that you're doing great. I mean y'know let's face it, no one handles this well. Phoebe Buffay : Least of all you. Tag Jones : Why? What you'd do? Monica Geller : Weren't you asked to leave sonny? Chandler Bing : Would you put that back on?! Monica's gonna be here any minute!", "summary": "Rachel wants to get pierced but hurts. Phoebe and Monica think it's a bad idea. Tag is also freaked out about turning 25."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : But it hurt's my Joey's Apple. Chandler Bing : Okay, for the last time. It's not named for each individual man. Judy Geller : You've done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely. Chandler Bing : Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I can't believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! And you! I can't believe that you would have a tux that's thirty years old! Jack Geller : It's older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo. Chandler Bing : Ohh! Rachel Green : Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! She's coming! Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! Jack Geller : Crap. Chandler Bing : Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out what's going on.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang throws a party for Joey's birthday, but things get out of hand when Rachel hides and Jack becomes panicked. Meanwhile, Chandler struggles with his tuxedo being older than he is, and Judy compliments him on the party's decorations."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Heyyy!! You got the door open!! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey are you drunk? Monica Geller : Nooo! Okay. Whoa! Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning thirty. So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. I wanna puke on you later! Chandler Bing : Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents! Monica Geller : Noo!!! Chandler Bing : Yes! Monica Geller : Noo!! Chandler Bing : Yes!! Monica Geller : Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! That they know of. Chandler Bing : Okay, here's the thing. We're gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that you're drunk.", "summary": "Monica turns 30 and her friends throw her a surprise party. She becomes drunk at the bar with the busboys and nearly pukes on Chandler before discovering the surprise party in progress."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Really?! You promise? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'll take care of it. Monica Geller : Okay. I love you so much. Chandler Bing : Okay we have to do something about your breath. Monica Geller : What about your breath?! Chandler Bing : That's still yours. Okay, now remember it's a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised. Monica Geller : Okay. I can do that. Chandler Bing : Okay. #ALL# : Surprise!!! Ross Geller : Okay, forward. Forward-Stop! Okay, back-Stop! Okay, forward-Stop! Stop! Stop!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler plan a surprise party for Ross, but Monica's breath is terrible and Chandler offers to take care of it. Meanwhile, Ross frantically tries to stop the party from happening."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ross, just forget about it. This guy's got you totally wedged in. Woman : Is this yours? Joey Tribbiani : Well actually... Ross Geller : No-no-no! It's mine! It's-it's mine. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you soooo need this car. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Okay, I'm gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. Haul ass!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! It's for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth! Ursula Buffay : Right, why do you keep saying that? Phoebe Buffay : Because it's our thirtieth birthday. Ursula Buffay : Yeah, no we're not thirty. We're 31. Okay.", "summary": "Ross tries to retrieve his car from a guy who has it parked in his spot, but ends up getting wedged in instead. Phoebe and Joey come to help by breaking into a nearby mini-van and pushing it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Meanwhile, Ursula mistakenly celebrates her 30th birthday despite being 31 years old."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wait! Ursula Buffay : Oh, it's you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. What?! Ursula Buffay : Yeah, we're not thirty, we're 31. Phoebe Buffay : Nu-uh! Ursula Buffay : Yea-huh! That's what is says on my birth certificate. Phoebe Buffay : You have your birth certificate? Ursula Buffay : Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died. Phoebe Buffay : Our mom. Ursula Buffay : Right! Okay.", "summary": "Ursula claims to be 31 years old, despite Phoebe's insistence that they are 30. They argue over their ages and reveal that they have a shared mother who has recently passed away."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Do you have my birth certificate? Ursula Buffay : No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Oh my God, we are 31. Ursula Buffay : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I just lost a whole year of my life. Ursula Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Your middle name is Pamela? Ursula Buffay : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is? Ursula Buffay : Yes! Phoebe.", "summary": "Phoebe and Ursula discuss birth certificates and names, with Phoebe realizing she has lost a year of her life and learning that Ursula's middle name is Pamela."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That's my first name. Ursula Buffay : Right, okay, then no. Chandler Bing : Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress. Monica Geller : Yay! Chandler Bing : See? Here we go. Jack Geller : Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! Judy Geller : Don't get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow. Monica Geller : Paul! Chandler Bing : Phil. Monica Geller : Phil!", "summary": "Monica plans a surprise party for Phoebe's birthday, but things get complicated when Ursula shows up and Monica realizes she needs to put on her party dress. Jack and Judy give their daughter a hug, while Chandler and Paul (or Phil) try to help with the celebration."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. Okay, you're doing great. You're doing great. You're doing fine. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Monica's a little drunk. Phoebe Buffay : Yay! I love drunk Monica! Monica Geller : Awwwww... Chandler Bing : Go change! She doesn't want her parents to know she's drunk. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! All right! All right. Here's what we'll do, I'll get twice as drunk as Monica and then no one's will even notice her. Rachel Green : What's-what's going on? Phil's really pissed! Chandler Bing : Monica's wasted. Ross Geller : Maybe that will liven up this party.", "summary": "Monica is drunk and tries to hide it from her parents, while Phoebe offers to get twice as drunk to distract from the situation. Rachel enters the conversation and reveals that Phil is upset about something. Ross suggests that Monica's drunkenness might liven up the party."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, will you just go help her change please! Rachel Green : Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Tag Jones : This one's from me. Rachel Green : Ahh! Tag Jones : It wasn't on your list, but hopefully you'll think it's really fun. Rachel Green : A scooter! Ross Geller : Stick to the list. Always stick to the list. Rachel Green : No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. Chandler Bing : Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!", "summary": "Rachel buys a scooter and tags Joey to help her change the tire, but Joey suggests Rachel should take care of a drunk and naked woman instead. Chandler agrees to help, while Ross sticks to the list."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Now that you're a couple, we don't get two presents from you guys? Chandler Bing : For my last birthday you gave me a hug! Okay, read the card! Read the card! Rachel Green : Okay. Happy birthday Grandma! It's better to be over the hill then buried under it. All our love Monica and Chandler. That's funny, yeah! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no! That was the joke! Rachel Green : No, I know! I get it! It's funny! Chandler Bing : No, because you're not a grandmother! Rachel Green : No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I don't have any of those things. That's why it's so funny. Monica Geller : All you had to do was buy the card! Ross Geller : Hey! Look who's back! It's the birthday girl! How's the birthday girl feeling?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler give Rachel a humorous birthday card that pokes fun at her being single. Meanwhile, Joey jokes about not getting two presents from Rachel and Chandler anymore as a couple, and Ross returns to the conversation after being away."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I feel fine, but I think you're bumming out the rest of the kids. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Okay! Y'know what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids... Phoebe Buffay : Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother. Rachel Green : As I was saying... I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time I'm 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan! Phoebe Buffay : If you could do that, I'd marry the hippity-hop. Rachel Green : So, if I wanna have my kid when I'm 35, I don't have to get pregnant until I'm 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant... Monica Geller : Really! That long?! Look all you want, it's happening! Rachel Green : No, so I don't have to get married until I'm 33! That's three years, that's three whole years-Oh, wait a minute though. I'll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I'd like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged... Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I'm thirty. Ross Geller : Which is fine! Because you just turned--twenty-eight!", "summary": "Rachel wants kids and plans to have three by age 35, starting with one by age 34. However, she needs time to plan the wedding and meet the right guy before getting engaged. Phoebe teases Rachel about wanting to have kids for her brother, while Monica is surprised that Rachel wants to wait three years before getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry! Joey Tribbiani : Will you quit hoggin' it! Rachel Green : I'm telling you it's like watching Bambi learn how to walk. Ross Geller : You're drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe I'm a little drunk. Chandler Bing : Oh that's great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? There we go. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Are those crab cakes? Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready? Chandler Bing : How are you feeling? Monica Geller : You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! Ross Geller : I really wish that you wouldn't. Chandler Bing : Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and don't talk to anyone.", "summary": "Rachel is upset that her plan to marry her desired partner has been derailed. Joey tries to intervene, but Rachel is insistent. Ross claims to be drunk and worried about his parents' reaction, while Chandler offers support. Monica gushes over Chandler's appearance, while Ross expresses reservations about Monica's advances. Joey mentions crab cakes, and Chandler encourages Rachel to push through her difficulties."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Speech! Speech! Let's hear from the birthday girl! Huh? Chandler Bing : Pheebs!! Phoebe Buffay : Don't you see? Everyone's looking at me! The plan's working! I didn't even have to take off my top yet! Judy Geller : Speech! Come on Monica! Ross Geller : Come on! #ALL# : Come on! Speech! Jack Geller : Hey Chandler, you can't keep your hands off her for one second! Judy Geller : Oh-ho, I think it's nice. Chandler Bing : I think it's necessary. Monica Geller : I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends...", "summary": "Monica gives a speech at her birthday party, but Phoebe steals the spotlight with her antics. Chandler and Jack get into a conversation about keeping their hands off Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wooo!! Hoo!! Monica Geller : I really like to say that I'm-um... Y'know what I'd really like to say? I'm drunk!! That's right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! And guess what! I've been drunk before! And I've smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! It's all okay. It's okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. Phoebe Buffay : Okay quick, help me get this off! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Phoebe Buffay : I lost a whole year! I can't believe it! This is so unfair! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't know Pheebs. It'll be okay. Phoebe Buffay : Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31? Joey Tribbiani : That's not gonna happen. No. Because we have a new deal! Phoebe Buffay : Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I...I haven't done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31! Joey Tribbiani : Like what?", "summary": "Phoebe turns 30 and becomes drunk at a party. Monica reveals she's also been drunk before. Phoebe lost a year and is upset about it. Joey tries to comfort her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Like okay I-I-I, I haven't met any Portuguese people! I, I haven't had the perfect kiss! And I haven't been to sniper's school! Monica Geller : Phoebe, y'know why don't we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake? Phoebe Buffay : No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? I'll see you guys later. Thanks. Rachel Green : Hey. Oh, poor Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know what you guys? I think I'm gonna go walk her home. Monica Geller : Oh man! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : He's gonna eat the cake! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! Wait up! Listen uh, close your eyes. Maybe that's one thing you can cross off your list. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah.", "summary": "Phoebe has not met any Portuguese people or had a perfect kiss, and she hasn't attended sniper's school. The group decides to have cake instead of going upstairs with Phoebe, who later changes her mind and wants Joey to walk her home."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, and plus I'm 1/16th Portuguese. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ross Geller : Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up...and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? We're gonna lift the car...and slide it out. Lift and slide! Rachel Green : Ross, I really don't think... Ross Geller : Lift!! And slide! Chandler Bing : Okay, here we go. Ross Geller : All right everyone, lift! And slide!! Rachel Green : Hey Joey, can I... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started! Rachel Green : Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler try to move a car with the help of Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel, but it doesn't go as planned."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside? Rachel Green : Whatever! Okay, I'm not your mother. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Rachel Green : Not in the street!! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Rachel Green : Hi. Tag Jones : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Tag Jones : How are you doing? Are you feeling any better? Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm doing okay. I'm um...let's talk.", "summary": "Joey wants to ride his scooter in the street, but Rachel refuses. Tag Jones joins the conversation and asks Rachel how she's feeling after her accident."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Okay. Rachel Green : Umm... Tag Jones : What's up? Rachel Green : Ohh Tag, umm...you're such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I don't-I don't... Tag Jones : Wait! I think I see where you're going, but before you say anything else, can I just say one more thing? Rachel Green : Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think I'm past the point where I think I can y'know, just have fun. Tag Jones : Rachel, don't do this. This is just because you're turning thirty. Rachel Green : Yeah, it is! But you're just a kid! I mean you're 25! Tag Jones : Twenty-four actually. Rachel Green : Oh God! Y'know what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if I'm wishin' for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.", "summary": "Tag Jones and Rachel Green have a conversation about their age difference. Tag tries to convince Rachel that she's not too old to have fun, but Rachel insists that she's passed the point of being able to do so."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Me too. Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Hey! How'd it go? Rachel Green : Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year? Phoebe Buffay : You did the right thing. Joey Tribbiani : I don't like this anymore. Chandler Bing : Well, here we are, just a bunch of thirty year olds. Ross Geller : God, do you realize in ten years we're gonna be 40? Joey Tribbiani : Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! Ross Geller : Yes! My baby's finally free!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss having children, while Chandler and Joey argue about their feelings towards the situation. Ross expresses disbelief at how quickly time has passed."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All-all right! Start it up! Let's go! Ross Geller : Woohoo! The Man In The Sportscar : How hot are we? Ross Geller : You wanna buy a car? Joey Tribbiani : No. Monica Geller : I'm glad you're here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony. Rachel Green : Ohh... Ross Geller : What's the matter? You okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, it's just y'know... Chandler Bing : Monica said wedding.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are excited to start a conversation, while The Man in the Sportscar asks how hot they are. Ross suggests buying a car, but Joey declines. Monica enters with questions about their wedding ceremony, and Rachel reveals she's feeling uneasy about it. Chandler chimes in with a comment about the upcoming wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony. Rachel Green : Oh! I would love to read a poem. Chandler Bing : Do you think you could get through a poem? Rachel Green : It'll be a short one. Monica Geller : Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading. Rachel Green : Ohhh... Ross Geller : Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too. Chandler Bing : Too? Ross Geller : Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys. Monica Geller : Do you mind telling us what it is?", "summary": "Ross will be doing the reading during the ceremony, but he has a surprise for the couple."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Sorry, I'm kinda keeping this one on the Q.T. Chandler Bing : Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and... Monica Geller : What is DOOL? Joey Tribbiani : Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, you're not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!! #ALL# : Oh!! Chandler Bing : That's great! Joey Tribbiani : And-and-and not only that, I'm gettin' a new brain!!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani's character comes out of a coma and gets a new brain."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So great things are happening at work and in your personal life! Rachel Green : Wait, what do you mean you're getting a new brain? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, they're killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body. Ross Geller : What? A brain transplant?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes, it's a highly controversial procedure. Ross Geller : It's ridiculous! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I think it's ridiculous that you haven't had sex in three and a half months. Ross Geller : It's winter, they are fewer people on the street. Monica Geller : Who are they killing off? Joey Tribbiani : Uh Cecilia Monroe, she plays Jessica Lockhart.", "summary": "Cecilia Monroe (plays Jessica Lockhart) is killed and her brain is transplanted into Joey's body."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Noo!! Monica Geller : She's my favorite character on DOOL. Joey Tribbiani : Nice. Rachel Green : She is so good at throwing drinks in people's faces, I mean I don't think I've ever seen her finish a beverage. Monica Geller : And the way she slaps all the time! Rachel Green : Oh! Monica Geller : Wouldn't you love to do it just once?! Chandler Bing : Don't do it. Rachel Green : Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, tell me about it. And she's been on the show forever, it's gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.", "summary": "Monica Geller and Rachel Green are talking about their favorite character on Days of Our Lives, Cecilia Monroe. They both agree that she is a great actress and have mixed feelings about the show replacing her with a new character. Joey Tribbiani joins in, adding that he loves watching Cecilia's performances. Chandler Bing tries to interrupt but Monica and Rachel are too focused on their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the \"brain transplant,\" you are going to be her? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, but in Drake Remoray's body. Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist! Phoebe Buffay : Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay? Rachel Green : Well, I'd have to say gay. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Why? Rachel Green : Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. Rachel Green : Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. Rachel Green : All right, straight, and not subtle.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss a brain transplant, while Phoebe and Rachel speculate about a man's sexuality based on his kissing another man."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, he left his cell phone. Rachel Green : Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found. Phoebe Buffay : Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing. Rachel Green : What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. Rachel Green : What? Wait! Why...why do you get the story? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long. Rachel Green : Phoebe, you had a date three days ago. Phoebe Buffay : That wasn't a date! That was, that was just friends getting together... having sex. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.", "summary": "The plot revolves around two friends, Phoebe and Rachel, who find a lost cell phone belonging to a man named Gunther. They consider returning it to him or using it to call China to see how his friends are doing. However, their plan takes an unexpected turn when they decide to use the phone to start a conversation with each other, leading to an unlikely romance."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago. Rachel Green : Yeah! And until now, I didn't think I'd love again. Phoebe Buffay : Nice try. Rachel Green : Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Rachel Green : Well umm, maybe we could uhh... Ah-ha! Too slow!! Phoebe Buffay : Ah-ha! Too cocky! Dina : I'm going to keep dating him Mother, and there's nothing you can do about it! Jessica Lockhart : Oh yes there is! Dina : What are you going to do? Kill him? Like you did with Charles?!", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel discuss a recent breakup, while Phoebe tries to win back the phone they were using. Dina reveals she's continuing to see the same man despite Phoebe's objections, leading to a confrontation."}
-{"dialogues": "Jessica Lockhart : That was an accident! And so were you. Dina : Well, at least I'm not a murderer! Jessica Lockhart : Oh, my baby! The Director : Cut! Joey Tribbiani : That was a great scene! And-and-and that slap looks so real! How do you do that? Cecilia : Oh, just years of experience. Dina : Can I get some ice here?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are. Cecilia : You're not the fan who's dying are you? Joey Tribbiani : Say what?", "summary": "Jessica accidentally hits Dina with her car and tries to downplay it, while Dina brings up a past incident. The director interrupts them, and they continue filming. Joey praises Cecilia's acting skills, and she reveals years of experience. Dina asks for ice, and Joey mistakes her for a fan who is dying."}
-{"dialogues": "Cecilia : I'm supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but that's not supposed to be until later! Joey Tribbiani : No. No, I'm Joey Tribbiani; we did a scene together yesterday. I-I'm the guy in the coma! Cecilia : Oh that was a real person?! Joey Tribbiani : An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since I'm getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me... Cecilia : I-I-I'm leaving the show? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Why? Did you hear something? Cecilia : Who told you that? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, one of the writers. Cecilia : Which one? Was it bald or was it tall? Joey Tribbiani : Umm...", "summary": "Cecilia is supposed to meet a dying fan later in the day but is confused when Joey Tribbiani reveals that he is actually in a coma and will be taking over his brain after he leaves the show."}
-{"dialogues": "Cecilia : Y'know what? It doesn't matter! Because it is not true! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Cecilia : And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that I've been playing for 20 years-I'll give you a tip! Joey Tribbiani : Ms. Monroe... Oh there you go. Rachel Green : No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; that's not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why don't we, why don't we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone. Phoebe Buffay : Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone. Rachel Green : I don't think so. Phoebe Buffay : Fine all right, but I'd bet you'd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet. Rachel Green : All right, first name on the speed dial is mom. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, I lost my mom to suicide.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a group of friends trying to determine who gets a phone that was left behind by a man they were all interested in. They consider various methods for deciding, including looking at the speed dial numbers and whose name is closest to the word \"phone.\" One of the friends reveals that they lost their mother to suicide."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin. Phoebe Buffay : Did I use that already today? I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Yes okay. Well now see this isn't telling us anything. Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hat's a steak house! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, a meat eater. Fine, that's one for you. Rachel Green : Oh, I win! He's got Barney's on his speed dial. Phoebe Buffay : So you don't know that's Barney's the store! That can be y'know his friend's house, or a bar. Who has Barney's the store on their speed dial? Rachel Green : His new girlfriend! Monica Geller : What is that? Chandler Bing : I think it's the dying cat parade. Monica Geller : It sounds like it's coming from across the street.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around a group of friends discussing various topics, including a cute guy and a last blueberry muffin, a steak house called Peter Luger, and a mysterious phone number with Barney's store on speed dial."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Y'know that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, \"You're half Scottish right?\" Monica Geller : Nooo!! Chandler Bing : Yes!! Monica Geller : No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?! Chandler Bing : Why is your family Ross?! Monica Geller : He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! It's not even a song! Chandler Bing : If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang. Rachel Green : Hi Pheebs!", "summary": "Chandler discovers that Ross was going to perform at their wedding and turns to Monica in shock. Monica is skeptical and rejects the idea, claiming that no one will leave during Ross's performance. The conversation then shifts to Rachel greeting Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : How are ya? Phoebe Buffay : Good. Rachel Green : Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guy's cell phone? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, now you lost me. Rachel Green : You stole the phone!", "summary": "Rachel Green keeps a guy's phone in her purse without his knowledge, as agreed with Phoebe Buffay, but ends up stealing it instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No I didn't! Rachel Green : No? So you're saying that if I called it, it wouldn't ring? Phoebe Buffay : No. Rachel Green : Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. Oh, it does work! Rachel Green : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : That is a different phone. Rachel Green : Oh is it?! Uhh, hello? Yes hi, is Rachel there? Yes she is, just one moment please. It's for me! Phoebe Buffay : That is damning evidence. Rachel Green : Oh my God! I bet that's him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh Hello? Or should I be Hi! It's Rach... Would you stop doing that?! Phoebe Buffay : Hello? Yes, I'm the one who found your phone.", "summary": "A woman named Rachel Green loses her phone and a friend named Phoebe Buffay finds it. When Rachel attempts to call her own number, Phoebe informs her that it doesn't ring. The two then engage in a series of confusing conversations, with Rachel showing off the features of a new handbag she is carrying while insisting that it is her phone. Eventually, Phoebe realizes that Rachel has found someone else's phone and delivers the news to her with humor."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Phoebe! You can't do th... Phoebe Buffay : Shhh! I'm on a call! Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. It's umm, it's umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe y'know after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. Okay, well okay I'll see you then. Bye. Rachel Green : You do know that I will be here when he comes over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh? And how will you know what time to come over? Rachel Green : You just said it! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just...be alone y'know to think about my mom and her suicide. Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : What?! That's the first time today! Rachel Green : Ohh! Joey Tribbiani : So you like the nachos uh? Myself I'm partial to...", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe make plans for Phoebe to pick up Ross at 8:30pm at her apartment. Phoebe reveals that she wants to be alone to think about her mother's suicide. Rachel teases Phoebe about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Dina : I'm 16. Joey Tribbiani : See you in 2003. Cecilia : You're absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They don't know exactly when it's going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and that's it. Joey Tribbiani : I'm so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show. Cecilia : Yeah, thanks. Joey Tribbiani : No I mean it! I can't believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much! Cecilia : Oh you're right. Thank you! What's your name again? Joey Tribbiani : Joey. Cecilia : Joey, well thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, excuse me. The Writer : It wasn't my decision!", "summary": "A 16-year-old girl (Dina) is being written out of a TV show (the show). Joey Tribbiani is upset about it and tries to comfort her. The Writer explains that they didn't make the decision to write Dina out of the show."}
-{"dialogues": "Cecilia : I'm having a conversation here! You were saying? Joey Tribbiani : Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-l-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, I'm really nervous about-about being you. Y'know if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Y'know? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please? Cecilia : All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's great! Oh thank you so much! Cecilia : You're so welcome. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Now, I've been watching some tapes, how's this? \"Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again! Ever!!\" Cecilia : Is that supposed to be me? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Cecilia : Yeah but Jessica doesn't have an English accent. Joey Tribbiani : I can do an English accent?! That baby's going on my resume!", "summary": "Joey tries to channel Jessica by doing an impression of her, but he struggles with the accent and gets it wrong. Cecilia offers to help him get into character, but Joey is initially hesitant."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, I feel like a snack! Monica Geller : Do you want some shortbread? Eh that's Scottish like you are. Chandler Bing : Oh no thanks. I don't like any thing from my Scottish heritage. Ross Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Well it's just my entire family was run out of Scotland by...Vikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. Ross Geller : Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots. Monica Geller : No! No-no they're not. They're still very angry! But y'know Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet. Ross Geller : Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more... Monica Geller : You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!! Ross Geller : How did you know about that?!", "summary": "Chandler Bing rejects shortbread offered by Monica Geller due to its Scottish origin, revealing his family was driven out of Scotland by Vikings. Ross Geller suggests rediscovering their heritage, but Monica and Chandler's family are still angry about it. Meanwhile, Ross mentions the Swedish people's reputation for sitting quietly, leading Monica to veto bagpipes at their wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : We heard you play all the way from your apartment! Ross Geller : Were you the ones called the cops?! Chandler Bing : That's not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just don't feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding. Ross Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because we hate them. Ross Geller : Come on that's not fair! I mean you haven't even heard me play! Chandler Bing : We have heard you play. Ross Geller : No, you've heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And I'm not going to tell you what song I'm gonna play either. But uh, let's just say when it's over I'll bet there will be a we bit o' celebration. Cecilia : So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. You try. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! All right!", "summary": "Chandler and Ross argue about bagpipes at their wedding, with Chandler expressing his dislike for them. Ross offers to play a song for Chandler and Cecilia, but Chandler remains unconvinced. Meanwhile, Joey tries to impress them with his own performance."}
-{"dialogues": "Cecilia : No, he already knows that he owns everything in the room! He's not finding it out for the first time! So, try it again. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay. Cecilia : Right. He's not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! All right, it's a little weird, but it's getting better. Oh well, I'm gonna miss this woman so much. I don't know what I'm going to do! I mean, it's been 20 years of my life. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well-Hey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Y'know? It'll-it'll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. You're so talented. Cecilia : I am. I am, but I don't know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy. Joey Tribbiani : Hey that's not true! Look at uh, look at Angela Lansb-Angelina Jolie! Cecilia : I probably should've just left years ago when the offers were pouring in, but y'know I just got so comfy here! And... Ohh, I turned down some amazing work! Joey Tribbiani : Like-like what? Cecilia : Well, let's just say if I left 15 years ago, the landscape of Mexican cinema would be very different today! Joey Tribbiani : Wow!", "summary": "Cecilia is upset because she thinks her boyfriend knows everything in the room and owns it. Joey tries to comfort her, but she insists that he doesn't understand. Cecilia expresses regret for not leaving when she had the chance, as she believes she could have changed the landscape of Mexican cinema."}
-{"dialogues": "Cecilia : But... Well now, now's a different time for me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey come on, don't-don't-don't do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, I'm thinking, \"Boy, she-she is a great actress!\" Uh but-but, I am also thinking, \"She is hot!\" Cecilia : You think I'm hot? Joey Tribbiani : You own the room. We should probably get-get uh... Cecilia : Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the... So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the man's face. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that 'cause she's so passionate? Cecilia : No! It's because that way the camera only sees her! Do you wanna try it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Okay. Cecilia : That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like... Rachel Green : Hey! Hey!", "summary": "Cecilia and Joey Tribbiani have a conversation about her acting skills and physical appearance. They discuss how she controls the camera's angle during kissing scenes, and Joey expresses admiration for her abilities. Rachel Green interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Who is it? Guy : Hi! It's Tom, I'm here to pick up the phone. Phoebe Buffay : Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door? Rachel Green : Well why shouldn't I?! Phoebe Buffay : Because it's my apartment! Rachel Green : Well, then I get to give him the cell phone. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. All right. Good luck explaining all the calls to China. Tom : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! How long were we arguing for? Rachel Green : You're not the man who left the cell phone.", "summary": "Tom arrives at Phoebe and Rachel's apartment to pick up a phone call, leading to an argument over who gets to answer the door and give him the phone."}
-{"dialogues": "Tom : No that's my assistant. Rachel Green : Is-is he coming? Tom : Umm, no. Phoebe Buffay : Could you-could you umm, give us one second? Tom : Sure! Rachel Green : We'll be right back sir. Tom : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Wh-what do we do? Rachel Green : I don't know! Phoebe Buffay : Can you believe this? We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!", "summary": "Hot guys show up."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I know! What?! Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, they just don't make 'em like that anymore! Rachel Green : No-no they do but, you just have to wait. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, listen-I mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one. Rachel Green : All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! You're such a great friend! Rachel Green : Ohh... Tom : So, which one of you lovely ladies am I going to take to dinner huh? Phoebe Buffay : Oh that'd be me. Sir. After you. Tom : Okay. Okay.", "summary": "Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay have a conversation about a man they both like. Rachel agrees to let Phoebe have him, but only if Phoebe owes her a favor."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Nice! Cecilia : Well, you certainly own that room. Joey Tribbiani : Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan! Cecilia : Well, it's nice to know that you... Rachel Green : MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! Joey Tribbiani : That uh, that is my roommate Rachel. Cecilia : Oh that explains all the women's underwear.", "summary": "Phoebe and Cecilia enter a room where Joey is renting the whole place. Rachel suddenly appears and is excited to meet Joey, who reveals that he is her roommate."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Yep. Monica Geller : Oh my God! It's true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor? Cecilia : Certainly. Monica Geller : Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! Cecilia : I'd love to, but my lawyer said I can't do that anymore. Rachel Green : God. You seem really, really nice. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, bye-bye. Rachel Green : I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people. Joey Tribbiani : All right, here we go. Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "Monica Geller asks Cecilia to slap her in the face, but Cecilia cannot do so due to legal restrictions. Meanwhile, Rachel Green expresses skepticism towards Joey Tribbiani's claims of being nice and genuine, despite his attempts to prove otherwise."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! Umm, you're a stupid bitch. Cecilia : I really can't slap you. Rachel Green : You are so beautiful. Monica Geller : Nice to meet you! My God you're great! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks for stopping by. See ya! I-I am so sorry. I... Cecilia : Oh no-no-no-no, being adored. I'm used to it, don't worry about it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Cecilia : What? Joey Tribbiani : They sent me today's script! They never send the script! Cecilia : They don't?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel meet a woman named Cecilia who is visiting from out of town. Cecilia is charmed by Monica and Rachel, but then Cecilia reveals that she is used to being adored and doesn't mind being called beautiful. Joey enters the conversation and accidentally insults Cecilia before realizing his mistake and apologizing. The group continues to chat until Cecilia mentions that she has received today's script for the show, which is a surprise since the writers usually don't send it out in advance."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well no, I'm just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! Oh... Cecilia : How does it happen? Joey Tribbiani : Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence. Cecilia : Ah what?! Jessica hates horses! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well, I'm guessing after this she's not going to be crazy about electricity either. Ross Geller : ...now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt. Rachel Green : I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks. Ross Geller : Do you wanna start telling secrets? Rachel Green : No! Ross Geller : Now umm, remember I'm still learning.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is in a coma and has lines (jokes). Cecilia asks how it happens, and Joey explains he got thrown from a horse into an electric fence. Rachel Green enters the conversation, followed by Ross Geller, who starts telling jokes despite still learning."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : One, two, three, four! Ross Geller : You know the song! Sing along! Ross Geller : So? Chandler Bing : No! Dina : Loosening the saddle on mother's horse was brilliant Fredrick. And the electric fence, inspired. Fredrick : Thank you sweetheart. Dina : I can't believe she's really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. Joey Tribbiani : I don't think so. Dina : Who are you?! Jessica Lockhart : What's the matter Dina? Don't you recognize your own mother?!", "summary": "Ross sings a song and tries to get Chandler to sing along. Dina talks about her mother's horse and electric fence. Fredrick thanks Dina and Jessica questions Dina's identity."}
-{"dialogues": "The Director : Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you! Cecilia : That was so wonderful! Ohh, I think that you're a better Jessica than I ever was! Joey Tribbiani : Oh noo... Cecilia : Well of course not, but you were very good. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Cecilia : And guess what? Good news! I got another job! Joey Tribbiani : Great! Hey! All right! Well-well what is it?! Cecilia : A film in Guadalajara! Joey Tribbiani : The airport? Cecilia : No that's La Guardia. This is Mexico.", "summary": "The Director just finished a take and thanks everyone. Cecilia compliments Joey on his acting, which he humbly denies. Cecilia then announces she got another job offer in Guadalajara, which Joey incorrectly assumes is at La Guardia airport."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ohh. Wow! Well how-how, how will you be gone? Cecilia : Eight months. Joey Tribbiani : That's a really long time. Cecilia : Yeah, but you can come and visit me. I bet that you could uh, own a few places down there. Joey Tribbiani : Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. And I just got what you meant again-That is-I tell ya, that is a tricky one! Cecilia : That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. You've, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck. Cecilia : You too. Ross Geller : You know the song! Sing along! Phoebe Buffay : Eeee!!! Eee!! Eee!!", "summary": "Joey will be gone for eight months, and Cecilia suggests he could visit her in Florida. Joey wants to buy a place in the city first, then realizes he misunderstood what Cecilia meant. Cecilia thanks Joey for making a difficult time less painful, and Ross sings a song while Phoebe excitedly agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Matthew Perry : Eee!! Lisa Kudrow : Do it again! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi! Hi Ben! Ben Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah go ahead. Ross Geller : Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joey's special romance magazines in there? Rachel Green : No. No. Ross Geller : Okay! All clear!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discover a problem in their bathroom, leading Ross to search for Joey's romance magazines before attempting to fix the issue."}
-{"dialogues": "Ben Geller : Thanks Phoebe! Rachel Green : Ben, its Rachel! But whatever. Ross Geller : Everything okay in there? Ben Geller : Don't talk to me now! Rachel Green : Awww, just like his daddy. Ross Geller : Hey listen can you do me a big favor? The dean's office just called and said there was an urgent meeting. Can you watch Ben for like an hour? Rachel Green : What-what about Monica? Ross Geller : Oh, she isn't home. Rachel Green : So it would just be, me alone? Ross Geller : Well, Ben would be there.", "summary": "Ross asks Rachel to watch his son Ben for an hour while he attends a meeting at school. Rachel agrees, despite being hesitant due to past experiences with Ben's father (Ross)."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Huh umm... Ross Geller : What's the matter? Rachel Green : Well that-y'know it's just uh, I've never done that before. Me and him alone. Ross Geller : Rach, he's not an ex-con. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him? Ross Geller : I don't know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Ben? Come here. All right, I'm gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay? Rachel Green : Yeah I think so. Ross Geller : I wasn't talking to you.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are left alone to care for Ben while Ross goes out. Rachel is nervous about being alone with Ben and unsure of how to handle the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ben Geller : I'll be okay. Ross Geller : Okay, I'll see you soon buddy. Be back in an hour. Ben Geller : Bye dad. Rachel Green : Bye. Ahhh... So this is fun, huh? Ben Geller : Not really. Rachel Green : Okay. Uh, want something-want something to drink? Ben Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke? Ben Geller : I'm not allowed to have soda. Rachel Green : Okay. Well that's pretty much all that we have-Oh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita?", "summary": "Ben and Ross say their goodbyes before Ben leaves for an hour. Rachel offers Ben something to drink but he declines as he's not allowed to have soda. Rachel suggests a virgin margarita and Ben expresses interest."}
-{"dialogues": "Ben Geller : What's a virgin? Rachel Green : Water it is. Monica Geller : What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him. Chandler Bing : You mean the spitter? Monica Geller : Come on! It wasn't that bad! Chandler Bing : Easy for you to say; you'll be wearing a veil. Monica Geller : All right, what about the third guy? Chandler Bing : You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest? Monica Geller : Can you blame him? Chandler Bing : Sorry, I just don't like the idea of when I say, \"I do,\" he's thinking, \"Yeah, I'd do her too!\"", "summary": "A virgin is discussed, followed by meetings with multiple potential wedding candidates, with each having their own unique quirks and personalities."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well then we still have a problem. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : With what? Monica Geller : Well, we're trying to find someone to perform our wedding and they're all either boring or annoying or y'know, can't stop staring at the ladies. Phoebe Buffay : Oo! You should have one of us do it! Monica Geller : Phoebe, we're getting married, married; not sixth grade married. Phoebe Buffay : No! No! It's-it's uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff! Monica Geller : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! A friend of mine did it and it's totally legal! Joey Tribbiani : I call it!!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to find someone to perform their wedding but are having trouble finding someone who is not boring or annoying. Phoebe suggests that one of them could do it, but Monica is hesitant. Phoebe reveals that she knows someone who got ordained on the internet and can perform weddings. Joey jumps in with a comment about the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What?! No! It was my idea! Chandler Bing : Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us. Joey Tribbiani : Does calling it not mean anything anymore?! Chandler Bing : We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva! Rachel Green : Ben y'know when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. 'Cause I was, I was your daddy's girlfriend. Ben Geller : But you're not anymore! Rachel Green : No, I'm not. Ben Geller : 'Cause you guys were on a break. Rachel Green : Hey! We were not on a-Okay. That's fine! Fine. Y'know what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay? Ben Geller : When's my daddy coming back?", "summary": "Phoebe and Chandler are getting married, but Joey doesn't think it's a good idea. Rachel reveals that she used to babysit Ben when he was a baby, and Ben asks when his father will return."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Fifty-two minutes. So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You don't have to share stuff. Ben Geller : Sharing is good. Rachel Green : Oh, you're one of those. But y'know what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other. Ben Geller : Really? Like how? Rachel Green : Well y'know, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, we'd jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so they'd put salt on their cereal. Ben Geller : That's a good one. Rachel Green : Yeah? You like that one? Ben Geller : Yeah, you're funny. Rachel Green : I'm funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, I've got a ton of these! Umm, oh hear-Do you want a good one? Here's a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? And then you say to person, I bet you can't roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, they're left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face. Ben Geller : Can I do it to you?", "summary": "Rachel and Ben share sibling stories, with Rachel revealing that she has two sisters who they used to torture by repeating everything they said, jumping out of closets, or switching the salt and sugar. They then play a prank on each other, where Rachel challenges Ben to roll a quarter from his forehead to his chin without it leaving his face, which results in a black pencil line down the center of his face."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I-I-I-I'm funny Ben, but I'm not stupid. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : So, did you uh, find anyone to marry you guys yet? Chandler Bing : No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together. Monica Geller : We're never gonna find anybody. Joey Tribbiani : Well then let me do it! Chandler Bing : Joe... Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no! Look, I've been thinking about it. I'm an actor right? So I won't get nervous talking in front of people. Monica Geller : Joey look it's really sweet... Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no look no! I won't spit, and I won't stare at Monica's breasts! Y'know? Everyone knows I'm an ass man! Monica Geller : That is true.", "summary": "Marriage is a topic of discussion among friends as Joey tries to convince them he can marry them. Monica has doubts and Chandler reveals that someone named Horny for Monica Minister called asking about their relationship status."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah and the most important thing is that it won't be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. It'll be me! And I swear I'll do a really good job. Plus, y'know I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me. Chandler Bing : Y'know, we haven't found anybody else. Monica Geller : It might be kinda cool. Joey Tribbiani : So I can do it? Chandler Bing : Yeah you can do it. Joey Tribbiani : All right!!! Okay!! All right! Okay-okay, I gotta get started on my speech! Oh, wait a minute, Internet ministers can still have sex right? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Hey Pheebs, how's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache!", "summary": "Joey wants to perform a wedding for his friends Chandler and Monica, despite not being an ordained minister. He promises to do a good job and it would mean a lot to him. Chandler agrees, but Phoebe has a headache."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Can I get you something? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you've got to stop chattering! Monica Geller : Here, take a couple of these. Phoebe Buffay : What is it? Monica Geller : It's Hexadrin. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I don't believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. Monica Geller : Okay, while we're waiting for these pills to kick in, I'm gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. Get some nice soft pillows under your head, I'm gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And I'm-Sit down--gonna make you some tea. And then, I'm gonna rub your feet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! My head! Oh! Oh! Rachel Green : Coming.", "summary": "Monica Geller tries to help Phoebe Buffay with a headache by giving her medication, but Phoebe refuses and insists on using alternative medicine. Meanwhile, Joey Tribbiani becomes irritated with his own headache and enters the room."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I have a bone to pick with you. Rachel Green : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : Yes! Ben learned a little trick. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Did he pull the old... Ross Geller : That's right! That's right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere! Rachel Green : Oh that. Ross Geller : Yeah that! You know I hate practical jokes! They're mean and they're stupid and-and I don't want my son learning them! Rachel Green : Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you don't think that's just a little funny?! Ross Geller : I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right? Rachel Green : Yes.", "summary": "Ross is upset with Rachel for teaching Ben a prank involving Saran Wrap on a toilet seat, resulting in Ross getting soaked when he sat down."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It's amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called? Monica Geller : Hexadrin. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I love you Hexadrin! Oh look! It comes with a story! Monica Geller : No Phoebe, those are like the side affects and stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Say what? Monica Geller : Y'know, the possible side affects. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headache-Headache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I don't recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh I'm sorry, extra strength death capsules! Monica Geller : Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Monica Geller : In case it happens.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nPhoebe takes a mysterious pill called Hexadrin that completely cures her headache, but then starts experiencing a variety of bizarre side effects. Monica tries to reassure Phoebe that none of these symptoms will occur, but Phoebe remains skeptical and accuses Monica of lying to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : You did it! You got ordained?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there! Chandler Bing : Our minister... Phoebe Buffay : I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! Monica Geller : Phoebe, your liver is right here. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then I must be disoriented.", "summary": "Joey becomes an ordained minister after getting his credentials online, while Chandler and Monica are shocked by the amount of porn available on the internet. Meanwhile, Phoebe has liver damage and is disoriented."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Anyway, I started working on what I'm going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it? Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so... \"We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share.\" Eh? \"It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving.\" \"We too can share and love and have and receive.\" Chandler Bing : Should we call the spitter? Carol Willick : Hey Rachel! Rachel Green : Hi! Carol Willick : What a nice surprise! What are you doing here? Rachel Green : Well y'know I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, \"What's up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?\" Carol Willick : Can I ask what-Come on in.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are getting married, and Joey is writing the ceremony speech. He reads a draft to Chandler and Monica, who offer feedback."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Carol Willick : Umm uh, I'll make some coffee and we can uh, chat. Rachel Green : I'd love that. I would loooove... So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little... Ben Geller : Gotcha!! Rachel Green : I found him! Very funny, come here! That is exactly why I've come here to talk to you okay? Carol Willick : Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee? Rachel Green : Yes oh--Do I want sugar in my coffee? No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday? Ben Geller : Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday? Rachel Green : Don't do that. Ben Geller : Don't do that.", "summary": "Rachel Green and Carol Willick chat while making coffee, with Ben Geller interrupting to play a trick on Rachel. Later, they discuss what Rachel taught Ben the previous day."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Seriously, your dad doesn't like pranks. Ben Geller : Seriously, your dad doesn't like pranks. Rachel Green : Oh damnit! Ben Geller : Oh damnit! Rachel Green : No! Don't say that! Don't say that! Ben Geller : Damnit! Rachel Green : No don't! Go back to repeating! Ben Geller : Damnit! Rachel Green : Oh crap! Ben Geller : Oh crap!", "summary": "Rachel and Ben engage in a heated argument about pranks, with both of them using expletives and repeating each other's words."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I feel like my face is swelling. Is my face swelling? Monica Geller : Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, interesting you should call me that! Now that I may never have one! Joey Tribbiani : Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready? Chandler Bing : Yeah. O-okay. Joey Tribbiani : \"When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and...\" And then I can't think of a good word for right here. Monica Geller : How about receiving? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Chandler Bing : See Joe, not that that's not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Y'know, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?", "summary": "Phoebe's face may be swollen. Monica insists nothing is wrong with Phoebe's face. Joey writes more of his wedding toast, including mentioning Phoebe and Chandler's relationship. Monica suggests the word \"receiving\" for Joey's toast. Joey remembers a funny story about Chandler and Monica at Atlantic City."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, not us... Us! Monica Geller : I gotcha. Sorry. So, did you ever make him throw up a whole anything? Phoebe Buffay : Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes? Monica Geller : It doesn't say that! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects! Chandler Bing : See Joe, we want you to tell stories but y'know, romantic stories. Nice stories. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Okay. Ooh! Ooh! Okay, maybe I'll talk about London! Y'know when you two hooked up! Only, only I won't say hooked up. I'll say, \"Began their beautiful journey...\" Monica Geller : There you go! Joey Tribbiani : \"...by doin' it.\" Chandler Bing : Joe?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss their past pranks on Chandler, while Joey tries to tell a romantic story but gets sidetracked by Monica's interruptions."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing y'know you're in the bathtub together and she's feeding you strawberries? Chandler Bing : Isn't that what happened with you and the bride's maid? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! I call that London style. Monica Geller : No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Ross's mom. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Monica Geller : And then Chandler was, was really sweet and he consoled me. And well we drank too much... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah baby! Chandler Bing : And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Chandler Bing : But then later that night...", "summary": "Plot Summary: A group of friends discuss their dating experiences, including a night where one of them (Monica) was comforted by Chandler after a bad date, and another night where Joey and a woman (possibly a bride's maid) shared a romantic moment in a bathtub."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah baby! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Cute PJ's! You're really livin' it up here in London huh? Chandler Bing : Well I was... I was exactly expecting company after... 9:15. Monica Geller : Is Joey here? Chandler Bing : Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the bride's maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, you're not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya? Monica Geller : Wouldn't you be? Chandler Bing : Well, look it's been a really emotional time y'know, and you've had a lot to drink. And you've just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight! Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica discuss Joey's whereabouts, with Chandler revealing that he saw him leaving with a bridesmaid and strawberries. Monica expresses surprise at this revelation and Chandler tries to reassure her that she should let it go, as she was the most beautiful person in the room. However, things take an unexpected turn when they suddenly start making out."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, not anymore. Chandler Bing : But we don't do that. Monica Geller : I know, I just thought it would be fun. Chandler Bing : How drunk are you? Monica Geller : Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage. Chandler Bing : That's the perfect amount! Monica Geller : Okay! Monica Geller : Y'know what's weird? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : This doesn't feel weird!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler engage in a drunken sexual encounter."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : You're a really good kisser. Chandler Bing : Well, I have kissed over four women. Do you wanna get under the covers? Monica Geller : Hm-hmm! Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Wow! You are really fast! Chandler Bing : It bodes well for me that speed impresses you. Monica Geller : We're gonna see each other naked. Chandler Bing : Yep! Monica Geller : Do you wanna do it at the same time?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica engage in a flirtatious conversation, with Chandler revealing that he has kissed multiple women and expressing his eagerness to take things further. Monica is equally interested and suggests they see each other naked, leading to a mutual desire for intimacy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Count of three? Monica Geller : One! Chandler Bing : Two! Monica Geller : Two! Chandler Bing : Three! Chandler Bing : Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined. Monica Geller : Eh, we weren't that close anyway! Chandler Bing : Eh! Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a friendly argument over the count of three, with Chandler ultimately concluding that their friendship is ruined. Monica disagrees and they move on to other topics."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, dude I'm so sorry! Chandler Bing : No! No! No! Joey Tribbiani : Hey no-no-no-no! It's cool! It's cool! I-I'll only be a second, I'm still with my bride's maid, I just-Where are those condoms you brought? Chandler Bing : They're in my bag over there. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Chandler Bing : Uh, could you leave me one? Joey Tribbiani : For just you? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey listen, why don't you come downstairs with me? There's some really nice girls down there.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are talking about a movie when Joey asks to use one of Chandler's condoms. Chandler agrees and Joey invites him downstairs to hang out with some \"nice girls.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No I-I-I'm fine. Joey Tribbiani : All right, here you go buddy. Go nuts. Joey Tribbiani : That's what that was?! 'Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me. Monica Geller : Okay, can we change the topic? Because it's really doing nothing for me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh... Can you imagine if I hadn't left you that last one? You two might've never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! It's like it was in the stars! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's totally meant to be. Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night. Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Chandler Bing : Who did you originally want to hook up with?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey discuss a previous encounter where Joey left a woman for Chandler, but it didn't work out. Monica changes the topic, and Phoebe reveals that she originally wanted to hook up with someone else that night."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, fine but please don't be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted...just sex. So, when I...went to your room that night...I was actually looking...for Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah baby! No baby! Chandler Bing : So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this? Monica Geller : No because it-it didn't seem important. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's not important? It's not important?! If it wasn't for a bride's maid you'd be marrying him not me! Monica Geller : Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with! Joey Tribbiani : And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv- Chandler Bing : I don't believe it. The most romantic night of my life and I'm runner up. Monica Geller : Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Now I'm a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!", "summary": "Monica Geller and Joey Tribbiani have a conversation about their past encounter in Chandler Bing's room, which Monica had forgotten until that moment. Joey reveals that he was also drunk and looking for someone else when he found Monica in Chandler's room. Monica is relieved that Joey wasn't there and expresses her gratitude to Chandler for being a good listener."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look there is no way you're doing this wedding now. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : What?! That's not fair! It's not my fault! I was off with my bride's maid! And who's to say I would've even said yes?! I mean I would've said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay! Chandler Bing : Okay, it's just weird! Okay? I don't want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need...I don't know what I need. I need a walk. Monica Geller : Wait Chandler come on, let's-it's not a big deal! Chandler Bing : It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. Joey Tribbiani : This is crazy. Phoebe Buffay : I know! Robin is so gay! Rachel Green : So now what have we agreed? Ben Geller : No more pranks. Rachel Green : And-and what else?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey get into an argument over a misunderstanding at a wedding. Chandler is upset because he saw Joey with his bride's maid of honor, and Joey is defensive and claims he would have said yes to the invitation if given the chance. The argument escalates until Chandler needs a walk. Monica tries to intervene but Chandler is still upset and jokes that he saw Joey with Batman (instead of Robin). Phoebe and Rachel try to help calm the situation down, but they end up agreeing to no more pranks."}
-{"dialogues": "Ben Geller : That you and daddy were not on a break. Rachel Green : Very good. Ross Geller : Rachel! What are you doing here? Rachel Green : I'm just visiting my good friend Carol. Ross Geller : Your good friend? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : What's her last name? Rachel Green : Carol...Lesbian? Ross Geller : Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face? Rachel Green : What line?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about whether or not they were on a break, with Ross expressing confusion over Rachel's visit to her friend Carol."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, \"Dude, don't you ever was your face?\" Rachel Green : All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but you were so mad already! Ross Geller : Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-it's not funny! Carol Willick : Hey Ross! Ross Geller : Hi. Carol Willick : What's not funny? Ross Geller : Practical jokes. Carol Willick : Oh I...I think they're funny. Ross Geller : You have a line down your face. Carol Willick : What?", "summary": "Ross gets upset when a student in his class makes a joke about him not washing his face."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, maybe they are not funny to you... Carol Willick : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Or Carol! But they're funny to kids and who is it hurting?! Ross Geller : Uh, y'know what? I'll tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principal's office wearing nothing but a catcher's mitt! Rachel Green : That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, \"I will be revenged?!\" Ross Geller : I will be! Listen, I don't want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay? Rachel Green : Fine. Fine, but I'll have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but I'll go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if that's what you want! Ross Geller : No that's not what I want. Uh, I'm glad you guys were bonding but I... Rachel Green : Look he doesn't have any brothers or sisters, somebody's gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I haven't taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesn't know anyway! Ben Geller : Crap!!", "summary": "Rachel and Carol are arguing about Rachel teaching Ben inappropriate things, like farting during gym class. Ross intervenes and expresses his discomfort with the situation, but Rachel defends her actions as a way to bond with Ben."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I gotta go! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Do you want this scone? It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, come on nothing even happened! Chandler Bing : Look Joe, I know you wanted to do the wedding... Joey Tribbiani : No-hey-no! If you don't want me to do it, I except that. I don't care about that. I just...I don't want you to be upset. Chandler Bing : How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! You're so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, 'cause you guys are perfect for each other. Y'know, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just...it-it fits. Y'know? And you just know it's gonna last forever. Chandler Bing : That's what you should say. Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Rachel wants to leave but Joey and Chandler stop her. Joey gives Chandler a scone he didn't want, and Chandler accuses Joey of wanting Rachel first. Joey denies it, but Chandler believes he is upset because he fell in love with Rachel before Joey did. Joey tells Chandler that he missed out on something special by not being there, but Chandler replies that their relationship is perfect and will last forever."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : When you're marrying us; that's what you should say. Joey Tribbiani : Really? I can do it? Chandler Bing : I'd love it if you would do it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : But those are the words! Those exact words! Joey Tribbiani : Well I don't know remember exactly but, it's-it's pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey I'm sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-I've got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, 'Fun Aunt' Rachel, so... Rachel Green : Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, don't we Ben?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Joey argue over a wedding toast, while Ross asks Rachel to watch his son Ben."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, I'll see you later pal. Rachel Green : Ohh, okay. Wh-Ah-ha! Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I can't do it. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I can't let him go out that way, he's got a meeting. You've got something here on your back. Ross Geller : What? That's great. That is great. What did we just finish talking about Ben?! Rachel Green : Oh I... Ben Geller : What did we just finish talking about Ben?! Ross Geller : All right, that's it! Come-you-no! You are in big trouble young man! Rachel Green : No! Wait! Come on! Ross Geller : Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over allowing Ben to leave a certain way, with Ross expressing frustration at Ben's behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No you guys... Ross Geller : I-I-am- Rachel Green : EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey-hey. Joey Tribbiani : So are guys doing okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important. Monica Geller : Yeah baby! Phoebe Buffay : I'm really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two actually had hooked up. Monica Geller : Honey! Dinner's ready!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a dramatic confrontation about their past relationship, while Joey, Chandler, and Monica discuss their own relationships and personal growth. Phoebe ponders an alternate timeline where Ross and Rachel hooked up."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What's my little chef got for me tonight? Monica Geller : Your favorite! Joey Tribbiani : Ho-ho-ho, fried stuff with cheese! Monica Geller : Yep! And lot's of it! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks sweetheart. Give me a little sugar here. Okay. Monica Geller : Okay, in we go. Joey Tribbiani : Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : Here you go. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! That's it! I'm out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief! Joey Tribbiani : Good for you!", "summary": "Joey gets his favorite food, fried stuff with cheese, from Monica. Phoebe finds a pill that makes her feel relieved."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's like huge weight has been lifted! 'Cause look, no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, I'm just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoria-Oh. Monica Geller : So the wedding caterer sent me this list of twelve appetizers and I have to narrow it down to six. Joey Tribbiani : Food? Uh-huh gimme! Chandler Bing : So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that we're trying to get to play at the wedding? Phoebe Buffay : Since when are you into swing music? Chandler Bing : Oh since forever! I used to go all over town listening to bands! Monica Geller : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Gap commercial. So did you book them? Did you call? Monica Geller : I will. Chandler Bing : Do you want me to call?", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nThe gang plans a wedding and discusses food options for the reception, while Chandler reveals he used to go to swing music concerts before his Gap commercial days."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, I'll do it. You just stick to your job. Phoebe Buffay : What is your job? Chandler Bing : Staying out of the way. Joey Tribbiani : This is impossible Monica, why don't you just pick all 15? Monica Geller : There were only twelve. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, I added three. Monica Geller : What are peanut butter fingers?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah... Ross Geller : Well hello! She's cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her? Chandler Bing : Sure! That's one of the great things about being engaged. I'm not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.", "summary": "Monica insists on doing something while Phoebe questions her job. Chandler tries to stay out of the way. Joey thinks there are 15 items, but Monica corrects him. They all discuss peanut butter fingers. Ross sees a cute girl and Chandler is no longer nervous around attractive women because he's engaged."}
-{"dialogues": "The Woman : Could you guys help me? Ross Geller : Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you. The Woman : It-it's really heavy. Ross Geller : I got it. So hi, I'm uh, I'm Ross and this is my friend Chandler. The Woman : I-I am Kristen. Ross Geller : Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, 'cause if you are...I'd love to show you around sometime. Kristen Leigh : I...I uh, actually just moved from four blocks over. Ross Geller : Ah. Kristen Leigh : But-but this block is like a whole other world. Ross Geller : Y'know actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep!", "summary": "The Woman asks for help moving heavy objects, and Ross Geller offers to assist her. Kristen Leigh arrives and expresses confusion about the area, leading Ross to offer a tour."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Smooth. Kristen Leigh : Excuse me? Ross Geller : Umm, say you're gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight? Kristen Leigh : Oh I'd like that. Ross Geller : Yeah? Kristen Leigh : Yeah. Ross Geller : Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. Kristen Leigh : After you. Ross Geller : Oh no-no, after you. Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Am I crazy or does this totally go?!", "summary": "Ross invites Kristen out to dinner after moving her things, but she agrees to let him take the lead and he becomes nervous about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God! You look so beautiful! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica! Monica Geller : This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I can't believe I found it! The Woman : Wow you look so beautiful! If I knew you, I'd cry. Monica Geller : Well I'm Monica Geller, ball like a baby. The Woman : I'm Megan Bailey. Monica Geller : Have you found your dress yet? Megan Bailey : Oh no, these dresses are all so amazing but there is no way I could afford one. Monica Geller : No, I can't afford this either. No. I-I-I'm, I'm just to figure out which one I want then I'm gonna get it at Kleinman's, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale. Megan Bailey : Oh, thanks for the tip.", "summary": "Monica Geller finds her wedding dress and is excited to buy it at a discount store the next day. Rachel Green compliments Monica's appearance, and Phoebe Buffay agrees. A woman named Megan Bailey joins the conversation and expresses her disappointment at not being able to afford any of the dresses. Monica offers to help Megan find a more affordable option at a discount store in Brooklyn."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah! So-so when are you getting married? Megan Bailey : Oh I'm not, I just like to try these on. Rachel Green : I do the same thing. Megan Bailey : I'm just kidding. I'm getting married July 25th. Rachel Green : I'm just kidding too. I'm getting married in December. Megan Bailey : So when are you getting married? Monica Geller : Oh May 15th. Megan Bailey : Oooh it's getting close! Monica Geller : Yeah! Megan Bailey : So uh, who's your photographer?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel pretend to be engaged, while Megan reveals she is actually getting married on July 25th. Monica says she will be married on May 15th, but is later revealed as a joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Jeffery. Megan Bailey : We met with him. Did he show you the photos of the nude wedding he did? Monica Geller : The best man? Wow! Megan Bailey : I know! I almost called off my wedding. Oh, who's your band?! Monica Geller : Oh, my fiancee wants the Swing Kings. Megan Bailey : Oh, you're so lucky. My fiancee wants the heavy metal band Carcass. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, is that spelled with a 'C' or a 'K'? Oh my God! It doesn't matter; they're both great! Rachel Green : Oh y'know what? Y'know what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinman's and get it half off. This place is so overpriced. The Woman : I own this store. Rachel Green : So, does this come in another color or...", "summary": "The conversation revolves around wedding plans, with Monica and Megan discussing their respective fianc\u00e9s' musical preferences for the ceremony. Phoebe joins in, asking about the spelling of a heavy metal band, while Rachel mentions that Kleinman's, the store they are in, is overpriced and owned by a woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hi! You uh, movin' in or movin' out? Kristen Leigh : I'm moving in. Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, can I give you a hand? Kristen Leigh : Oh okay. But y'know what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back. Joey Tribbiani : Boyfriend? Kristen Leigh : No. Joey Tribbiani : I'm Joey. Kristen Leigh : Kristen. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow, what a beautiful name! What is it again? Kristen Leigh : Kristen.", "summary": "A man named Joey meets a woman named Kristen who is moving into an apartment complex. He offers to help her move in, but she warns him to be careful due to a previous helper who had to leave because of back pain. Joey asks if it's a boyfriend, and Kristen confirms it's not."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Got it! So... Kristen Leigh : So uh, do you live around here? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop or you can wake up with your shoes gone. Kristen Leigh : I'll remember that. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight? Kristen Leigh : Oh I, I have plans tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Kristen Leigh : But how about tomorrow? Joey Tribbiani : Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? Kristen Leigh : You look strong, why don't I take that and you grab one of the boxes.", "summary": "Joey invites Kristen out for dinner, but she has plans. They exchange tips on avoiding mugging while taking naps on a stoop."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'll grab this one. A Woman : What is taking so long?! I mean whatever! Rachel Green : So this is Brooklyn. Monica Geller : All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what you're looking for! Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Got it. Monica Geller : All right. A Woman : Here he comes! Hurry! Rachel Green : Oh they're pushing! They're pushing!! Monica Geller : Hey! Don't be a baby!", "summary": "A group of friends try to find a dress for a wedding in a crowded store, with some confusion and chaos ensuing."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well I... A Woman : Let's go!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel! Come on!!!! Monica Geller : No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. Don't crowd me! This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, it's perfect! I'm sorry, this one's taken! Whoa! Monica Geller : Megan! Megan Bailey : Monica! Monica Geller : You came?! Megan Bailey : Yeah! Monica Geller : This is my dress! Megan Bailey : No!", "summary": "Rachel Green and a woman discuss something, followed by Phoebe Buffay calling out to Rachel. Monica Geller objects to a particular dress, declaring it \"not it,\" while Megan Bailey arrives and Monica claims the dress as her own."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yes it is! You saw me wearing it! Megan Bailey : And now you'll see me buying it. Monica Geller : What? You freak! You wouldn't even have known about this place if it wasn't for me! Megan Bailey : Look, you don't want to fight me. Monica Geller : Maybe I do! I'm pretty feisty! Phoebe Buffay : I'm coming! I'm coming! Woman : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Hey! What do I do?!! What are you doing? Did you find the dress? Phoebe Buffay : Did you find the dress? Rachel Green : No! You gotta get me out of here Phoebe! These bargain shoppers are crazy!", "summary": "Monica Geller discovers a fashionable dress at a discount store and becomes convinced that Megan Bailey will buy it. Monica and Megan engage in a heated argument over the dress, with Phoebe Buffay intervening to try and calm them down. Meanwhile, Rachel Green tries to escape the chaos caused by the bargain shoppers."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I-We gotta get Monica. Rachel Green : No! You gotta hold my hand!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! Excuse me! Excuse me! Monica Geller : Go! Go! Go! Rachel Green : Hey... Monica Geller : NOW!!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet? Ross Geller : Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying she'd like to go out again. Chandler Bing : Huh. Ross Geller : Yeah in fact, I'm gonna go call her right now. And I'll make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says...", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over holding hands; Phoebe intervenes. Monica wants to get going but Rachel resists. They hear a loud noise, which turns out to be Joey's fault. Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler discuss Ross's date, with Chandler teasing Ross about his message from the woman he met."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Listen, sorry I didn't stop by last night but I had a date. Chandler Bing : Uh Joe, when it's one o'clock in the morning and you don't come by? That's okay! Joey Tribbiani : Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street! Chandler Bing : Really? Right across the street? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : When'd you meet her? Joey Tribbiani : Two days ago. Chandler Bing : Excellent! Y'know Ross met somebody too!", "summary": "Joey met a hot girl across the street and didn't go to Chandler's party."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hi! How'd it go? Ross Geller : Oh great! We're going out again Saturday. But I just found she's also seeing some other guy. Chandler Bing : Really?! Joe? What would you do if you were in Ross's situation? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, I'm dating this girl who's also seeing another guy. But, I don't know, I'm not to worried about it. Ross Geller : Well you shouldn't be. Believe me I wouldn't want to be the guy who's up against you. I mean that doofus is going to lose! Chandler Bing : So this is nice! I wish I didn't have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. Oh uh, by the way, what's the name the girl you're dating? Joey Tribbiani : Kristen Lang. Chandler Bing : Bye!", "summary": "Ross discovers his date is seeing another guy, but Joey is also in a similar situation with a girl he's dating who is also seeing someone else. The friends debate how they would handle the situation, with Ross expressing confidence that he could handle it and Chandler expressing reluctance to go on a date with Kristen Lang."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well obviously only one of us can keep dating her. Joey Tribbiani : Obviously! So, how do we decide? Ross Geller : Well now let's-let's look at this objectively, I think I should date her... Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or I'm the one who dates her. Ross Geller : That's interesting, but check this out. I date her... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction... Ross Geller : Okay, okay. This can go on for a while. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well we should order some food then. Ross Geller : No Joey! Look why don't, why don't we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, we'll each go out with her one more time. And-and we'll see who she likes best. Joey Tribbiani : That sounds fair.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are arguing over who should date a certain woman. They come up with various reasons why they should be the one to date her, but ultimately decide to let her decide for herself by going out with her one more time each."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Maybe I'll take her to that new French restaurant down the street... Joey Tribbiani : Ah yeah-wait a second now! Look we're gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I don't have the money to take her to a fancy place like that. Ross Geller : Well sorry, that's what I do on dates. Joey Tribbiani : All right, well I guess I'll just have to do what I do on dates. Ross Geller : So let's decide on the spending limit... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Uh, ...a slice......six dollars? Ross Geller : I was thinking more like a hundred. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Can I borrow 94 dollars? Monica Geller : Oh... Phoebe Buffay : I know. Hand me a tissue.", "summary": "Ross and Joey plan a date with a girl, but they can't agree on how much to spend. Ross wants to take her to a fancy French restaurant, while Joey suggests a more affordable option, like a slice of pizza. They set a spending limit of $100, but Joey needs $94 to cover the cost of the date. Monica and Phoebe chime in with their own thoughts on the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You're out of Diet Coke. Monica Geller : Hello? What?! You what?! Hey you listen here missy! Wh- Phoebe Buffay : What?! Monica Geller : That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldn't have them back unless I gave her the dress! Phoebe Buffay : Does that mean Carcass is available? Monica Geller : What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh...Chandler wants the band. What do I do? Phoebe Buffay : Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it. Monica Geller : How? Rachel Green : You're out of toilet paper! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are dealing with issues related to their wedding, including a musician named Megan who has booked the Swing Kings on the day of their wedding without consulting them. Phoebe suggests finding another band, but Monica is upset because she wants the dress that Megan promised her. Chandler also wants the band, leading to chaos and confusion among the friends. Meanwhile, Joey has an unrelated problem with running out of toilet paper."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! What's up? Joey Tribbiani : I just wanted to come by and y'know, wish you good luck on your date. Ross Geller : Oh thanks! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. What time are you meeting her? Ross Geller : We have 8:00 reservations at Grammercy Bistero. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, that's in like 20 minutes. You'd better get dressed. Ross Geller : I am dressed. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Well good! For me. What is this? Did you give yourself a facial? Ross Geller : I have an oily T-zone! Joey Tribbiani : Okay dude! Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss Ross's upcoming date with Kristen, with Joey offering to wish him luck and Ross expressing concern about his oily skin."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's right. Joey Tribbiani : You spent a hundred dollars. That's the limit. You're screwed! Ross Geller : Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didn't break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh! So that's the way it's gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too y'know! Ross Geller : Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Ross Geller : Why am I not surprised? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what Ross? I'm not gonna let you get away with this! Ross Geller : I don't think you have much choice. Joey Tribbiani : Well we'll see!", "summary": "Ross spends $100 on flowers for a date and tries to cover it up by saying he sent them before the actual date. Joey accuses Ross of breaking the rules and challenges him to prove it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Bye-bye! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah bye-bye! Hey! So just a light layer? Ross Geller : Yes. Yes. Just here and there . Chandler Bing : Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, swing music is so out. Monica Geller : Phoebe, he's gotta be in the room for that to work. Chandler Bing : What are you guys talking about? Monica Geller : Well umm, we were just talking about the y'know, the Swing Kings and just wondering whether y'know, they were the right way to go. Rachel Green : Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now I'm not saying that there's any connection here y'know, but they did tell me that's why they got divorced. Chandler Bing : But I love swing music!", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue over a light layer of sauce on the banister. Chandler reveals that Joey got meat sauce on the banister again. The group discusses the Swing Kings and whether they are the right choice for a wedding. Rachel shares a story about a wedding she attended where the couple got divorced after playing swing music, but Chandler loves it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah but the Swing Kings? Y'know they suck so much that people actually die at their concerts-They just stop living. Chandler Bing : Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And there's another reason too. Rachel Green : Well, what is the other reason? Chandler Bing : I don't want to say. Rachel Green : Well you have to because maybe it's stupid. Chandler Bing : Well it's just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was...the first time I knew that...you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with. Monica Geller : Oh crap! Ross Geller : So they said our table will be ready in just a few minutes. Kristen Leigh : Oh great! Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "The group goes to see the Swing Kings, a band that is so bad they cause people to spontaneously stop living. Chandler has a personal reason for wanting to see them, which he reveals later as the first time he realized he wanted to dance with Rachel at every dance."}
-{"dialogues": "Kristen Leigh : Is your back feeling better? Ross Geller : Oh yeah it's fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control. Joey Tribbiani : Kristen? Kristen Leigh : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Kristen Leigh : Hi! What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Oh I like this place. And technically, technically I'm not breaking any rules so I... Kristen Leigh : Well uh, Ross? This is Joey. Joey? Ross. Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi. It's nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I don't anymore.", "summary": "Ross and Kristen Leigh are talking about his back, which is feeling better. Joey enters and starts talking to Kristen, but Ross interrupts to introduce himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Kristen Leigh : Our table will be ready in a couple minutes. Ross Geller : Yeah. So... Joey Tribbiani : Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! Ross Geller : So Joey umm, you look familiar. Are uh, are you on TV or something? Kristen Leigh : Well Joey doesn't like to talk about it but, he's one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives. Ross Geller : That's right! That's right, don't you play a woman? Joey Tribbiani : A woman in a man's body. Ross Geller : Much better. Joey Tribbiani : So y'know Ross it's funny 'cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married? Ross Geller : Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how I've been married and how I have a son.", "summary": "Ross recognizes Joey from TV and asks if he's an actor. Joey confirms he's a star of Days Of Our Lives and plays a woman in a man's body. Ross then reveals he has been married and has a son."}
-{"dialogues": "Kristen Leigh : Yeah, little Eric. Ross Geller : That's right! Wait no, Ben. Joey Tribbiani : So you've just married the one time then? Ross Geller : Well umm... Kristen Leigh : You've been married twice? Ross Geller : Yes. And another time after that. Boy I'm getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food? Kristen Leigh : You said the waiter ate my crab cake. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. So uh Ross, well now-why did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian? Kristen Leigh : Do you two know each other? Joey Tribbiani : No. No.", "summary": "Ross Geller has been married twice and another time after that, but he can't remember why his first marriage ended. He and his friends discuss their dating experiences, including eating food left alone on a date and making assumptions about someone's sexuality."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge. Ross Geller : Wait a minute! Were you on a poster for gonorrhea? Joey Tribbiani : Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?! Ross Geller : Hey you leave Marcel out of this! Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?! Ross Geller : Hey-hey have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet VD boy?! Joey Tribbiani : Monkey lover! Joey Tribbiani : When do you think we lost her? Ross Geller : Probably around gonorrhea. Chandler Bing : Hi, honey! I'm home!", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue about whether or not Ross would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and push her over the edge. They also make other ridiculous claims about each other, including sleeping in the same bed as a monkey and getting stuck in their own leather pants. Chandler enters the conversation and adds his own quip about being home."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Don't come in here! Chandler Bing : Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something? Monica Geller : No! We only mess around at his place! Chandler Bing : Y'know it's funny I started it but, now it's scary me. So could you come out here please? Monica Geller : No, I'm wearing a wedding dress. Chandler Bing : Oh you got a wedding dress? That's great! Monica Geller : Yeah but I'm not keeping it. Chandler Bing : Well then why can't I see it? Monica Geller : Oh. I guess you can. Okay but; I-I have to return it, so you can't like it. Chandler Bing : Okay I promise. I'll-I'll hate it. Wow! You-you look...hideous.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are in her apartment when he starts to feel uneasy about being alone with her while she is wearing a wedding dress."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's like the most ugliest dress I've ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it? Monica Geller : Oh because it doesn't...really fit. Oh by the way, I-I booked the Swing Kings. Chandler Bing : Oh that's great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean it's like yuck! It's terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you! Monica Geller : Okay! But you can't rip it. Well, maybe a little. Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? Guys? Chandler Bing : I thought you were gonna be gone all day. Monica Geller : All right? What's going on? Monica Geller : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I should probably leave you girls alone.", "summary": "Monica plans to return a hideous dress she bought for her wedding, while Chandler makes fun of it. They then discuss the song list for the wedding and Chandler expresses disappointment that Monica will be gone all day. Monica apologizes and decides to leave the girls alone."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, laugh all you want but in ten minutes we're gonna have younger looking skin! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Y'know, she could use a little... Oh nice shot!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You guys! You're not gonna believe this! I just got off the phone with my agent... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I'm sorry, too soon. You go. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives! Monica Geller : Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Good for you! Monica Geller : Congratulations! Wow! I can't believe you're nominated for an Emmy! Joey Tribbiani : No-no. Monica Geller : Oh Soap Opera Digest award!", "summary": "Ross and Joey are excited about a new skin care product that will make them look younger in ten minutes. Phoebe interrupts with news of her own, revealing that she has been nominated for an Emmy Award for her work on Days of Our Lives. Monica and Ross congratulate Joey on his nomination, with Monica expressing disbelief at the news."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No! I'm up for a Soapie! Monica Geller : Honey? Is that something you're making up? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! It's real! And it has been since 1998. Hey Rach! Rach! I'm up for a Soapie! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God!! That is like the third most prestigious soap opera award there is! Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who I'm taking to the awards. Rachel Green : Oh, stop that! Don't kid about that! Will all the stars be there? Joey Tribbiani : Many are scheduled to appear. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God! I can't go! I'm gonna be too nervous! Monica Geller : Okay, I'll go! Rachel Green : No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.", "summary": "Joey is excited to attend a prestigious soap opera award show and has invited Rachel to join him as his plus one. Monica is hesitant to go but ultimately agrees to accompany Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : ...and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand it's collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten it's predator. Yes Mr. Lewis? Lewis : What kinda noise? Ross Geller : Just a high pitched intimidating noise. Lewis : But like how? Ross Geller : Well we-we don't know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, that's uh, that's all for today. Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment? Ned Morse : Yes sir. Ross Geller : Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, I'm afraid I-I had to fail you. Ned Morse : Why?! Ross Geller : Well you need 60% to pass... Ned Morse : What'd I get?", "summary": "The Velociraptor used a high-pitched noise to frighten its predators."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Seven. Ned Morse : That's not so good. Ross Geller : No-no it's not. What-what happened there Ned? Ned Morse : Well maybe you can cut me some slack. I'm sort of in love. Ross Geller : Well I'm sorry but, that-that's really not my problem. Ned Morse : I'm in love with you. Ross Geller : Well that brings me in the loop a little. Ned Morse : You see, that's why I did so bad on this test. I'm having a hard time concentrating. When you're up there and you're teaching and your face gets all serious...you look so good. You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater... Ross Geller : Okay! Umm, I uh, I'm your teacher. I'm sorry, you're-you're a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!", "summary": "Ross is confused when his student, Ned, confesses that he is in love with him. Ned explains that he is having trouble concentrating on a test because he finds Ross attractive and can only focus when he is teaching. Phoebe interrupts to reveal that someone at the counter is checking out Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Really? My God, he's really cute. Phoebe Buffay : Go for it. Monica Geller : Phoebe, I'm engaged! Phoebe Buffay : I'm just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and can't perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill. The Cute Guy : Hi! Monica Geller : Op, can I just tell you something? Very flattered but umm, I'm engaged. The Cute Guy : Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend. Monica Geller : Well you should be embarrassed. The Cute Guy : I thought you knew I was looking at you. Phoebe Buffay : I did, but that was really fun.", "summary": "Monica is engaged but is tempted by a cute guy who comes to her door. Meanwhile, Chandler is in an accident and can't perform sexually, leading him to want Monica to take a lover to satisfy his needs."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And the winner is...Joey Tribbiani! Oh... Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didn't prepare a speech. But umm, I'd like to thank my parents, who've always been there for me. I'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel... Rachel Green : I'm fourth! Look at you with your little maple syrup award! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah may-maybe you don't tell anyone about this. Rachel Green : What? No! It's not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo bottle. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : What award are you practicing for? Rachel Green : Grammy, Best New Artist. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey listen! The Soapie's called today and I also get to present an award. Rachel Green : Ohh that's great!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani winning an award, which he didn't expect, and his friends reacting to the news. Rachel Green mentions that she too practices for awards, including the Grammy Awards, and Joey expresses excitement about presenting an award at The Soapies."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Rachel Green : So you'll definitely get onstage, even if you don't win. Joey Tribbiani : What you-you don't think I'm gonna win? Rachel Green : Well of course I do! But y'know, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean you're up against the guy who survived his own cremation. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but it's just...I've never even been nominated before! I want it so much. Rachel Green : Well Joey, you'll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Y'know when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Y'know? So it's sorta like... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Y'know? Joey Tribbiani : You practice losing the Grammies too? Rachel Green : Oh no, at the Grammies I always win.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Rachel discuss the Emmy awards, with Joey hoping to win despite being up against a competitor who survived his own cremation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! Monica Geller : Hey! How'd your date go with Jake? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, great! We couldn't keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while y'know, he'd kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. Monica Geller : Okay, stop it Phoebe, you're getting me all tingly. Phoebe Buffay : All I could think of was y'know, \"Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?\" Monica Geller : And did he? Phoebe Buffay : I'm a lady Monica, I don't kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. Monica Geller : Okay-okay, I got it. I got it. Phoebe Buffay : I just like him so much that I just feel like I've had 10 drinks today and I've only had six.", "summary": "Date went great, couldn't keep eyes off each other, touching, leaning in, etc. Hickey visible on neck. Wants to kiss but doesn't want to say."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, I haven't had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, I'm never gonna have that feeling again am I? Phoebe Buffay : You sound like a guy. Monica Geller : No, a guy would be saying, \"I'm never gonna get to sleep with anyone else.\" Oh my God! I'm never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! I've been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that I'd be giving up! I mean, I...I'm never gonna have a first kiss again. Phoebe Buffay : You'll have a last kiss. Ross Geller : Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you? Joey Tribbiani : Is that why you wanted to tie my tie? Ross Geller : There's this kid in my class who said he's in love with me. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Rachel Green : Whoa what? Joey Tribbiani : Ross has a boyfriend.", "summary": "Monica is feeling anxious about getting married and forgets about all the things she'll be giving up, including her first kiss. Phoebe tries to reassure her, but Monica becomes even more worried. Meanwhile, Ross confides in Joey and Chandler about having a crush on a kid in his class, and Joey reveals that he had a boyfriend once. Rachel joins the conversation and is surprised by Joey's revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I do-I do not have a boyfriend. There's a guy in one of my classes who-who has a crush on me. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah! I don't know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of...sexy professor vibe? Rachel Green : Not right now. Ross Geller : It-it-The point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm. Rachel Green : Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Y'know you-I couldn't concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember what's it's like to be 19 and in love. Ross Geller : Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : How'd you get over that teacher? Rachel Green : I didn't. I got under him.", "summary": "Ross has a crush on a guy in one of his classes, but he doesn't know how to handle it. Rachel feels bad for the kid and reminisces about her own crush on a teacher when she was 19. Joey makes a lewd comment."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Problem solved. Jake : Bye Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Okay bye. Jake : All right. Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Bye! We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love. Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's okay. You don't have to tip toe around me. I-I've been thinking about it and umm, y'know what? I'm okay about not having that new relationship feeling... Jake : I miss you already!! Phoebe Buffay : I miss you too!!!! Monica Geller : See? That's what I mean. I mean that, that's great! But I wouldn't trade in what I have for that. I mean I'm gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and that's what makes me happy. Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is don't you think? Chandler Bing : Oh totally! Pull my finger.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller discuss their relationships with Jake and Chandler Bing, respectively. They both express their feelings about not having the new relationship feeling and being content with their current partners."}
-{"dialogues": "Announcer : Presenting the award for Favorite Returning Male Character is McKensize... Joey Tribbiani : This is it! This is my category. Rachel Green : I know! My God! Do you have your speech? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I got my speech! Rachel Green : Do you got your gracious loser face? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Can I squeeze your ass? Rachel Green : On TV?! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : 'Kay!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is nominated for a fictional award and is excited about the possibility of winning. His friend Rachel Green teases him about having to hug her if he wins, but Joey also makes a suggestive comment about squeezing her ass on TV."}
-{"dialogues": "The Presenter : In The Category Of Favorite Returning Male Character The Nominees Are John Wheeler from General Hospital , Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless , Dunkin Harrington from Passions , and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives . And the Soapie goes to......Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless! Joey Tribbiani : What the?! Announcer : Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. Joey Tribbiani : Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop , from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is......Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldn't be with us tonight so I'll be accepting this award on her behalf. And I'm sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. She'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel who's sittin' right there! Rachel Green : Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?! Joey Tribbiani : Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! Rachel Green : Oh my God you stole her award! Joey Tribbiani : No-no! No, I'm accepting it on her behalf. Rachel Green : Joey I don't think you know what behalf means. Joey Tribbiani : Sure I do! It's a verb! As in, \"I behalfin' it!\"", "summary": "* The award for Favorite Returning Male Character is given to Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless.\n* Joey Tribbiani wins the award for Best Supporting Actress for his role on Days of Our Lives, but cannot accept it in person. He thanks his parents and friends, including Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel.\n* Rachel Green questions Joey's understanding of the word \"behalf\" and he mispronounces it as \"behalfin'\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey, you have got to take this back! Joey Tribbiani : But why?! I should've won one and I really want it and she didn't even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy. Rachel Green : No! Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Come on Rach! No one saw me take it! There was a whole table full of 'em. Rachel Green : Do you really want an award you didn't win? Joey Tribbiani : No! I want an award I did win! But nobody's giving me any of those! Plus-Hey Rach, if-if I put it up there right? When people come over they'll see it and they'll think I won it. Rachel Green : Joey is says Best Supporting Actress! Joey Tribbiani : I can scratch that right off. Rachel Green : Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You don't want to win an award this way. You're very talented. And someday you're gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something. Joey Tribbiani : All right!", "summary": "Joey wins a fake award and wants to display it in his home. Rachel tells him he should take it back because he didn't win it fairly. Joey disagrees and wants to keep it as a symbol of his talent."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right? Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : I'll take it back tomorrow. Rachel Green : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : If I can't have it you can't have it! Lewis : Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you? Lewis : I know I didn't do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda hoping you could change my grade. Ross Geller : And why exactly would I do that? Lewis : Because I'm in love with you. Ross Geller : What?!", "summary": "Lewis confesses his love to Ross and asks him to change his midterm grade."}
-{"dialogues": "Lewis : Yeah, I'm all...in love with you and stuff. So could you change my grade? Ross Geller : No! Lewis : Well why not you changed Ned's grade! Ross Geller : Well that's different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me! Lewis : No he's not! He's totally yanking your chain! He's done this with three other teachers! Ross Geller : What? Lewis : He's got a girlfriend! Ross Geller : I can't believe someone would do that for a grade. Lewis : I know! It's awful. I love you. Monica Geller : Have you seen Chandler?", "summary": "Lewis tries to persuade Ross to change his grade, claiming he is in love with him. When Ross rejects him, Lewis reveals that Ned has also been changed by another teacher. Monica joins the conversation and asks if anyone has seen Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No. Why? Monica Geller : 'Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that I'm not gonna have and it's freaking me out. I don't know what to do about it. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't sweat it. Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guy's cute. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Come on I'm serious! I just got to talk to him about all this. Phoebe Buffay : No that is the last thing you want to do! Monica Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because you're marrying him! Monica Geller : You gotta help me out here Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I've never been engaged and I've never really been married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship, do not communicate them to your husband. Monica Geller : So I'm not supposed to share my doubts and fears with the guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with?", "summary": "Monica is feeling anxious about her upcoming wedding and confides in Phoebe. Phoebe advises against expressing her concerns to Chandler, citing that it's best not to communicate doubts or fears with one's soon-to-be spouse."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That is correct! Yes, you're supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight. Monica Geller : Your mother told you this? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Monica Geller : The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! You're right! Go! Go tell Chandler! Hurry before it's too late! Wait no! Does this also mean putting out doesn't get you love? Rachel Green : I cannot believe I'm gonna meet Jessica Ashley! Joey Tribbiani : Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman. Rachel Green : Okay, I'm totally cool! Jessica Ashley : Come in. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Jessica.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller discuss a conversation Phoebe had with her mother, who told Phoebe to put all of her thoughts and feelings in a little box in her mind and lock it up tight. Later, Rachel Green and Joey Tribbiani discuss Jessica Ashley, a woman Rachel is going to meet, and Joey tries to be cool around her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey Jess. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, this is my friend Rachel. Jessica Ashley : Hi. Rachel Green : 'Sup? Joey Tribbiani : Uh listen, here's your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. Jessica Ashley : Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, that-that-that's it? You're gonna, you're gonna put it on your self or anything? Jessica Ashley : No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if you'll excuse me. Joey Tribbiani : Take it back? Rachel Green : Absolutely.", "summary": "Jessica wins a Soapie award and is overjoyed. Joey tries to return it but Jessica declines, saying she keeps it for real awards."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Y-y-yeah! Yeah you do. Monica Geller : Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share? Chandler Bing : Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big Monica Geller : You're wrong! The centerpieces are fine! Do you ever get scared at all? Chandler Bing : Kinda. They're really big. Monica Geller : Doesn't it ever just freak you out that-that you're never gonna be with anybody new again? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Just, I love you so much. Just...It's just sometimes it bothers me that I'm never gonna have that feeling. Y'know when you meet someone for the first time and it's new and exciting? Y'know that rush? Chandler Bing : No. No, see when I first meet somebody it's uh it's mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating. Monica Geller : Okay, but all right you're a guy, does it not freak you that you're never gonna sleep with anybody else?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss their upcoming wedding, with Monica expressing her fear of never experiencing the excitement of meeting someone new again. Chandler reveals his own anxiety about being in a committed relationship, specifically his fear of not being able to sleep with anyone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and I'm afraid even more sweating. Monica Geller : Even with me? Chandler Bing : I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Well yeah! But now that I know that you're having these thoughts, I'm back to panic, anxiety, and uh I'm definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink. Monica Geller : Come here! Come here! Sweetie you don't have to worry. No, besides y'know what? I'm gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid... Chandler Bing : Water! Water! Water! Ross Geller : Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment? Ned Morse : That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair cut? Ross Geller : Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to know that I'm changing your grade back.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Monica Geller discuss their relationship, with Chandler revealing that he was dangerously dehydrated during their first six months together due to his anxiety and panic. Monica tries to reassure him, but Chandler becomes worried again when he realizes she may be having similar thoughts."}
-{"dialogues": "Ned Morse : What?! Why? Ross Geller : 'Cause I know what you're trying to pull here. Okay? It's not gonna work. Ned Morse : I'm not trying to pull anything. Look I love you dude. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I-I'm not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay--Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You don't love me and you never did! Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, I'll be right with you. Don't make this worse and I'll give you a C. Shall we? Phoebe Buffay : Rach? Rachel Green : I'll be out in a second. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. It's just so unexpected! I...I uh...Boy I'll tell you it's just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and y'know to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in... Rachel Green : Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00. Phoebe Buffay : ...in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. Rachel Green : Okay honey, you can finish this later we're gonna be late. We gotta go.", "summary": "Ross and Ned have a conversation about Ross's feelings towards Ned, with Ross revealing that he knows about Ned's girlfriend and previous interactions with other professors. Phoebe enters and joins the conversation before Rachel arrives, discussing her surprise nomination for a Nobel Prize and recent win for a Tony award."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Please, don't play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! How was your audition? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, do I know you? Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing, I'm just practicing blowing you off because I'm gonna be a big movie star! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! You got it?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good. Monica Geller : What was it for? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. It's really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese. Phoebe Buffay : The next, next?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey Tribbiani auditions for a big budget period movie about three Italian brothers in America, while Phoebe Buffay tries to stop him from blowing her off and Monica Geller asks what the audition was for."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, there's this guy from Chicago who's supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guy's right after him. Hello! Estelle Leonard : Joey! It's Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you! Joey Tribbiani : They loved me! Estelle Leonard : Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Estelle Leonard : There's just one thing. Do you have a problem with full frontal nudity? Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! Oh. Uh, okay uh let me call you back. Phoebe Buffay : What's the matter? Joey Tribbiani : They want me to be totally naked in the movie! Monica Geller : Wow!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey auditions for a movie and is told he needs to be naked in it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know! My grandmother's gonna see this! Phoebe Buffay : Grandma's gonna have to get in line. Phoebe Buffay : Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous? Monica Geller : Yeah. But a part of me also can't wait 'til it's over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding. Ross Geller : A no sex pact huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America. Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand? Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Monica Geller : I gotta make up the guest bedroom. Hey, Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with us a few days. Ross Geller : Cassie? Monica Geller : Uh-hmm.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends are getting ready for Joey and Chandler's wedding, with Monica and Chandler having a no-sex pact until the big day. Meanwhile, Phoebe helps Monica prepare the guest bedroom and mentions that Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wow, I haven't seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes. Monica Geller : Ross, she's 25 years old. Ross Geller : So what! I still have-No you're probably right. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Subtle guys! Phoebe Buffay : What?!", "summary": "Ross sees an old friend and wonders if she still carries her Barbie doll everywhere. Monica reminds Ross that his friend is now 25 years old. Rachel talks to Phoebe privately."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know you're planning my surprise bridal shower. Rachel Green : Well okay-Well don't ruin it! Just play along at least! Monica Geller : Okay. Sorry. Rachel Green : Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?! Monica Geller : Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! It's not like it's porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Y'know? And the nudity is really important to the story. Monica Geller : That's what you say about porn. Joey Tribbiani : You're right. Maybe I shouldn't even go on the call back. Monica Geller : No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on! Joey Tribbiani : Well that's true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My character's catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. It's really sweet and-and tender.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are planning a surprise bridal shower for their friend. Joey is nervous about being in a nude scene in a movie he is starring in, despite it being a \"legitimate\" film with important nudity to the story."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Plus, everyone's gonna see your thing. Phoebe Buffay : Well when can we have this shower? Rachel Green : She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday... Phoebe Buffay : Well that's only two days away. What is the other option? Rachel Green : Yesterday! Phoebe Buffay : Well if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo! We're done! Rachel Green : Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We can't do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! There's just too much to do! It's impossible! We can't do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, calm down! Rachel Green : Okay. I'm sorry. You're right, you're right. Phoebe Buffay : Just calm down woman!", "summary": "Monica wants to throw a shower for Rachel, who is having a baby, but they only have two options: Friday or yesterday. Rachel is stressed and overwhelmed by the idea of planning the shower so quickly, and Phoebe tries to calm her down."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Phoebe, I already, I already did. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it? Phoebe Buffay : Uh, here. What time? Rachel Green : 4 o'clock. Food? Phoebe Buffay : Finger sandwiches and tea. Rachel Green : Ooh great! Very Monica. Phoebe Buffay : And chili! Rachel Green : Ah you went one too far. Uh, flowers or balloons? Phoebe Buffay : Both!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are planning a party in two days' time. They need to make quick decisions on where to hold it, what time, and what food and decorations to serve. Rachel suggests having it at Phoebe's place, while Phoebe wants to have it at Rachel's. They also discuss the menu, with Phoebe suggesting finger sandwiches and tea, while Rachel prefers chili. They agree on both flowers and balloons for decorations."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : We're paying for this y'know. Phoebe Buffay : Neither. Rachel Green : Okay. Umm, what should we do for the theme? Phoebe Buffay : Lusts of the flesh. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. A cowboy theme? Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Y'know I'm-I'm really glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding. Monica Geller : Oh boy me too!", "summary": "The group decides on a theme for their friend's wedding, with Phoebe suggesting \"Lusts of the Flesh\" and Rachel vetoing it. They then discuss other options before settling on a cowboy theme. Meanwhile, Chandler expresses relief that they didn't sleep together before the wedding, and Monica agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Y'know I was thinking if we had a...a big fight and uh we broke up for a few hours... Monica Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Technically we could have sex again. What do you think, bossy and domineering?! Monica Geller : The wedding is off, sloppy and immature! Chandler Bing : That's me! Come on! Monica Geller : Okay. But wait, we can't. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, we're supposed to have lunch. Chandler Bing : Well get rid of her, obsessive and shrill. Monica Geller : Shrill?! The wedding is back on! Cassie Geller : I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hi! Nice to meet you!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a fight, but they consider having sex again despite being broken up. However, Monica's cousin Cassie is staying with them, so they can't act on their desires. The tension between Chandler and Monica continues as they try to navigate their complicated relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Cassie Geller : Nice to meet you too. Monica Geller : So, are you ready to go? Cassie Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : I'll be right with you. Monica Geller : Cassie needs to stay at your place. Ross Geller : What-why? Monica Geller : Because Purvry Perverson over here can't stop staring at her. Ross Geller : What?! Chandler she's our cousin! Chandler Bing : I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. It's called being a good conversationalist. Watch. Say something.", "summary": "Cassie meets Monica and is asked to stay at Chandler's place due to Chandler's unwanted staring."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You were staring about eight inches south of there. Ross Geller : Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now. Monica Geller : She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn. Chandler Bing : Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding? Monica Geller : Wafer thin ice! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm back! The Casting Director : Hi-hi Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again? The Casting Director : Actually, I tried to call to you. You didn't need to come down here today. Joey Tribbiani : Oh great! Y'know I would've been perfect for this part, but whatever! Y'know, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica and Ross argue over Cassie's sleeping arrangements at their wedding, while Chandler and Joey discuss Aunt Marilyn's appearance. The Casting Director tries to tell Joey he doesn't need to read for a role again, but Joey is disappointed and leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "The Casting Director : Wait Joey! You didn't need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it. Joey Tribbiani : And scene! Huh? Wasn't that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying? The Casting Director : Well, the director thinks you're really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Sure! That's great! The Casting Director : Oh and your agent said you were okay with the nudity. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as it's handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold. The Casting Director : Terrific! Well uh, there's one more thing. Uhh, uh it's really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how she's never seen a naked man who wasn't Jewish. So... Joey Tribbiani : So...What? The Casting Director : So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what I'm saying? Joey Tribbiani : Yes!", "summary": "The Casting Director wants to meet Joey Tribbiani for a part in a movie after seeing his tape and loves him for the role. However, there is one more thing the director wants, which is that the man playing the part be \"authentically, anatomically not Jewish\" in a love scene with Sarah."}
-{"dialogues": "The Casting Director : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : No. What? The Casting Director : An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be... Joey Tribbiani : Barmifsaed? Monica Geller : So to get this part you can't be? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Monica Geller : But you are? Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Monica Geller : But you told them you weren't? Joey Tribbiani : That's right.", "summary": "Immigrant can't play immigrant role because of religion and ethnicity. Character lies about identity to get part."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wow! Wow! And it's definitely all gone? There's nothing there to work with? What were you thinking? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell 'em you can! And just figure out how to do it later. Monica Geller : Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to...grow a turtleneck! Joey Tribbiani : I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like. Monica Geller : Oh my God, what are you gonna do?! Joey Tribbiani : I just have to call my agent and tell her I can't do the part. Monica Geller : Unless! Joey Tribbiani : Unless what? Monica Geller : Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion. Joey Tribbiani : Like what?", "summary": "Joey auditions for a part in a play and is asked to remove his clothes for the director, which he is unsure about. Monica suggests that they might be able to \"fashion\" something to cover Joey's body during the audition."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well I'm not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head I'm thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! I've got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyone's names in them and inside is everyone's individual birth stone. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still don't have a guest list. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know that's coming? Me. Are you? Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! What's up Mon? Monica Geller : Well uh, I'm trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge? Rachel Green : Have at it. Monica Geller : Okay. All right, turkey. Eh, that won't work. Cheese? That won't work. Olive loaf? I hope that won't work.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe plan party favors for Rachel's shower, while also deciding on a guest list and preparing food for the event. Monica wants to make something special for Joey but can't decide what, while Rachel offers her fridge for ingredients."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Are you makin' him a sandwich? Monica Geller : No it's umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, I'm gonna go guys. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! Rachel Green : We have to get her a present?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay but look! Look at what I got! It's her address book! We have a guest list! Rachel Green : Oh my God you're amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. Ross Geller : Cassie?! Cassie Geller : Hey Ross!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are planning a surprise party for Phoebe, but they need to decide on a gift. Monica suggests making her a sandwich, but Rachel corrects her to say it's more like a wrap. Phoebe reveals that she has already made a guest list and gathered supplies for the party, including an address book and seed money. Ross joins the conversation and greets Cassie, who is also present."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Cassie Geller : It's been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi. Ross Geller : Oh. Oh, that's right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didn't. Cassie Geller : Ah yeah, sorry about that. Ross Geller : It's okay. Come, come on in. Cassie Geller : Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monica's place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot. Ross Geller : Oh. Cassie Geller : Oh my God! You do a great Chandler! Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions. Cassie Geller : Well, maybe after we get reacquainted uh, you can do me.", "summary": "Cassie visits Ross's apartment and they catch up on old times. They reminisce about the last time they saw each other at a movie theater, where Cassie had set up her tent in line to see \"Return of the Jedi.\" Cassie apologizes for not recognizing Ross that day, and they share a laugh about it. Later, Cassie compliments Ross on his impression of Chandler, and he reciprocates with an offer to do an impression of her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah-No!! Ross Geller : Cassie, how you-how you doin' on that...hot dog. Cassie Geller : I'm all done. Ross Geller : Thank God. Cassie Geller : I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together. Ross Geller : Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you 'til you cried? We're probably too old to do that now. Cassie Geller : I'll always remember that summer, because it's when I got all of these freckles. Ross Geller : Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and I'll always remember that summer because that's when I realized that we are related. Cassie Geller : It took you that long to figure it out, huh? Ross Geller : Well I'm, I'm a little slow. Just as our children would be.", "summary": "Ross and Cassie reminisce about their childhood summer spent with their parents at a beach house. They share memories of playing pranks on each other and Ross realizes he has a crush on Cassie."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Woman : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : How are you? Good. Hi, thanks for coming. Woman : Oh thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. No? All right. Oh, it's so nice to see you. Woman : No. The Other Woman : No thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Hey Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Who the hell are all these people?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay meets a woman and asks how she is, to which the woman responds positively. Phoebe thanks the woman for coming and they chat briefly. The Other Woman enters and Phoebe asks who she is, leading to confusion and frustration."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I don't know. I called all the people in Monica's phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice. Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, y'know there's another word for people like that. Losers! Rachel Green : Hi! I'm Rachel. This is Phoebe. I'm the maid of honor. How do you know Monica? Woman : I was her accountant four years ago. Rachel Green : Ohhhh! Woman : I'm very interested to find out who's been doing her taxes these last four years. Rachel Green : That's great! Woman : So, what time is Monica supposed to get here? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Rachel Green : Excuse us for a minute. You didn't tell her to come?!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel and Phoebe are preparing for Monica's wedding and need to find people to fill in as guests on short notice. They call people from Monica's phone book, but only find one person who can come."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You were supposed to tell her! Rachel Green : No I wasn't! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake! Phoebe Buffay : Fine, I'll go call her. Rachel Green : Yes! And please tell her to bring a cake! Monica Geller : Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! This looks great! Monica Geller : Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. Umm, this one is made of bologna. Joey Tribbiani : And-and-and-and-and the toothpicks? Monica Geller : Oh, just until the glue dries. Joey Tribbiani : Thank God!", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel argue over who was supposed to tell someone about a party, while Monica shows them prototypes for cakes to try on. Joey is excited about the options but worried about the toothpicks."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Now, these are-are more realistic, but perishable. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Monica Geller : Okay? Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know it's gonna shrink. Joey Tribbiani : Well maybe we just take that one away. Monica Geller : I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, that's really just for me. Okay. So, why don't you go into your room and try these on and we'll see-get a better idea of what's gonna work. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird. Joey Tribbiani : Ow! Monica Geller : Toothpick? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : What are you trying on now?", "summary": "Joey tries on different pairs of shoes, but they don't fit well or are too expensive. Monica suggests he try on some others in her room, but Joey finds it awkward and strange."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : The fruit roll up. Monica Geller : And? Joey Tribbiani : Delicious. Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner! Monica Geller : What?! Which one?! Joey Tribbiani : The Silly Putty! It's not so silly anymore! Ross Geller : She's your cousin. She's your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head she'd think you were sick! Or would she? Let's back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logan's Run, the sexiest movie ever. Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. I'm going in. Cassie Geller : Hey! What the hell are you doing?! Ross Geller : Say something clever! Okay, doesn't have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. Any words will do. Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! I-I, I uh haven't had sex in a very long time. Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey and Monica discussing their preferences for various items, including food and movies. Ross intervenes and shares his thoughts on the situation, leading to a series of comical exchanges. Eventually, Cassie enters the scene and breaks up the conversation. The plot centers around the characters' interactions and their attempts to make witty comments or defuse the tense atmosphere."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Phoebe! Rachel! It's Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! Oh. Rachel Green : Oh Monica, we are so sorry. Monica Geller : For what? Rachel Green : Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower. Phoebe Buffay : And then for forgetting to invite you to it. Monica Geller : You al-you already had it? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave. Rachel Green : Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you don't have either. Phoebe Buffay : We ruined everything. Rachel Green : Ugh...", "summary": "Monica is surprised by Rachel and Phoebe who forget to throw her a bridal shower and invite her to one they already had. They apologize and try to make it up to her, but their attempts only make things worse."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well no wait a minute that's not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best. Rachel Green : What do you, what do you mean? Monica Geller : Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents without having to talk to people I don't even like! Rachel Green : Surprise... Phoebe Buffay : Sur-surprise. Rachel Green : ...Monica. Joey Tribbiani : And what's cool is, the character is from Naples, right? The Director : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : My whole family's from Naples! The Director : Oh that's great! Okay, well I've heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie...", "summary": "Monica gets to spend her shower with people she loves without having to talk to people she doesn't like."}
-{"dialogues": "The Casting Director : Joey, this is awkward part. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. I totally understand. You need to y'know make sure I don't have any horrible scars or tattoos. Don't you worry; I have nothing to hide. So there you go, that's me. One hundred percent natural! I tell ya, that has never happened before. Phoebe Buffay : Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there? Cassie Geller : Yeah! Thank you so much for letting me stay here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! No problem! I... Cassie Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! She's not your cousin! Rachel Green : Hey! Out of all of us, who do you think is gonna get married next? Joey Tribbiani : Probably Monica and Chandler. Woman : Hi. Could I have a pack of Newport Lights, please?", "summary": "Joey auditions for a role while Phoebe helps Cassie find her belongings and Rachel wonders who will be next to get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : Oh umm, uh we don't sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. Woman : That'd be great, thanks. Rachel Green : Oh my God, Melissa Warburton. I don't think I have the energy for this. Melissa Warburton : Oh my God! Ray-ray Green?! Rachel Green : Melissa! Melissa Warburton : You have been M.I.A for the past seven sorority newsletters, what's up with you?! Rachel Green : Wh--Why don't I tell you over here? Melissa Warburton : So last I heard you were gonna get married. Oh poor Ray-ray. Rachel Green : Oh no-no, no! It's good! It's all good! I-I actually work at Ralph Lauren! Melissa Warburton : Shut up!", "summary": "Rachel Green and Melissa Warburton discuss cigarettes, with Rachel mentioning they are available at a newsstand across the street. Melissa then brings up Rachel's absence from sorority meetings, to which Rachel explains she now works at Ralph Lauren."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I will not! I'm the divisional head of men's sportswear! Melissa Warburton : Oh shut up more! Now, are you friends with Ralph? Rachel Green : Oh please... Melissa Warburton : Are you?! Rachel Green : No. Melissa Warburton : Listen, we-we have to have dinner. What-what are you doing tomorrow night? Rachel Green : Oh tomorrow, oh I don't know. Um... Melissa Warburton : You do now. You're having dinner with me. Rachel Green : Shut up. Melissa Warburton : I-I've got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! Oh, there you are. Umm, so listen, just call me. Here's my card.", "summary": "Rachel Green and Melissa Warburton have a conversation about their jobs and personal lives. Rachel is the divisional head of men's sportswear, while Melissa works in marketing. They discuss having dinner together and exchanging phone numbers."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, wow thanks! Oh you're in real estate! Melissa Warburton : Oh no, that's-that's an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference. Rachel Green : Wow! What do you do now? Melissa Warburton : I'm a party planner. I'll see you tomorrow. Rachel Green : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Look who's back! It's Ray-ray! Rachel Green : Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college. Ross Geller : She seems really, really fun! Rachel Green : She's actually very sweet and we used to be very close. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, she isn't... She's not the one who you...", "summary": "Melissa Warburton wanted to leave real estate to help people and make a difference. Now she is a party planner. Rachel Green introduced her to her friends Joey Tribbiani, Ross Geller, and Monica Geller."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Who you what? Who you what?! Rachel Green : Yes. Monica Geller : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Wow? Wow what?! Wow what?! Who you-what?!! Rachel Green : It's not a big deal! Monica Geller : They were lovers. Ross Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : No we weren't! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and y'know, ended up...kissing for a bit. Ross Geller : So that's two of my wives.", "summary": "Ross discovers that Rachel and Monica were lovers in high school."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay so this is where the band is. And this is where the bar is. And all these pins have people's names on them. And Rach, here you are. Rachel Green : Oh wow. Why don't we just take me and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. These pins aren't for playing are they? Monica Geller : Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours. Chandler Bing : This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins. Monica Geller : Chandler, relax it's not a contest. Certainly not a close one. Joey Tribbiani : Hello! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Stop picturing it!! Monica Geller : Okay, I think that's it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like they're having fun don't they?", "summary": "The gang attends a wedding and creates a seating chart using pins with their names on them. Chandler is insecure about his few pins, while Joey tries to chat up Rachel. Monica and Rachel discuss the wedding preparations, and Rachel is distracted by the cute bartender."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so where are my parents gonna be? Monica Geller : Oh! Let's see, well...if this is the wedding hall then umm you're parents will be at home in Queens. Joey Tribbiani : What they're not invited?! Oh no, that's terrible! They're gonna be crushed! Monica Geller : Why would they think they're invited? Joey Tribbiani : You got me. I don't... Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm sorry. I thought parents were coming! Y'know? Your parents are comin'! Chandler's parents are comin'! Ross's parents are comin'! Monica Geller : Ross's parents are my parents! Joey Tribbiani : Well-well-see? Parents are comin'! Chandler Bing : Y'know I think we should invite them.", "summary": "Parents are not invited to the wedding. The groom is upset and thought they would be there."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh please, you just want more blue pins. Chandler Bing : Well this is just sad! Monica Geller : All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar! Rachel Green : That is not a problem. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you'll order a little sangria? Rachel Green : Oh, get out of here! Rachel Green : So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if there's anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. But these are the three that Monica pre-approved. Chandler Bing : Well, thanks a lot for hookin' me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest. Rachel Green : I'm Monica's maid of honor. Okay? Don't try to blue pin me! Chandler Bing : Well, what's the deal with these? These-these look nice.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses wedding attire for a hypothetical wedding, with Monica and Rachel pre-approving three tuxedos. Chandler wants to attend the wedding as Rachel's guest and offers to buy her a drink. Rachel declares herself Monica's maid of honor and jokes about not being \"blue pinned.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when they're done with them they just send 'em back. Chandler Bing : You mean like for award shows? Rachel Green : Some of them. Chandler Bing : You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, \"You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!\" Rachel Green : Honey, might I suggest watching a little more ESPN and a little less E!? Chandler Bing : Okay, who wore those? Rachel Green : Umm, well let's see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw. Chandler Bing : Not bad. Rachel Green : This one is uh Paul O'Neil. Chandler Bing : Who's that?", "summary": "Plot Summary: A company custom-makes tuxedos for celebrities and sends them back after they are done wearing them, including for award shows where they may be on the red carpet and subject to media attention."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan! Chandler Bing : Pierce Brosnan? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : 007?! This is James Bond's tux?! Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Oh, I have to get married in James Bond's tux! Rachel Green : It's a pretty cool tux. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's not just that, I would be England's most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majesty's secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. Would Monica let me wear this?", "summary": "The group discusses Pierce Brosnan, with Rachel mentioning he plays for the Yankees and Chandler joking about wanting to get married in James Bond's tuxedo."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : We should really learn how to play the real way. Phoebe Buffay : I like our way. Oh! Chess! Joey Tribbiani : Nice move. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one? Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm performing the ceremony. I'm not wearing a tux. Rachel Green : Well, what are you going to wear?", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe are playing chess when Rachel joins them. They discuss wedding plans, with Joey performing the ceremony and not wearing a tuxedo."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Multi-colored robes! Ooh, and maybe a hat. Rachel Green : Huh. Does Monica know about this? Joey Tribbiani : I don't think so. Rachel Green : Can I please be there when you tell her? Phoebe Buffay : Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight? Rachel Green : Oh, y'know what? I can't. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl. Joey Tribbiani : Can I come?! I won't even talk! You'll just hear the noise from my video camera. Phoebe Buffay : What is this? What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?! Rachel Green : Well, do you want to hear what actually happened or Joey's lewd version?", "summary": "Joey and Rachel discuss his plans for a multicolored robe and hat, but Rachel wants to know if Monica knows about it. Joey says he doesn't think so, and Rachel asks if she can be there when he tells her. Phoebe joins the conversation and suggests going to a movie tonight, but Rachel declines as she has dinner plans with Melissa. Joey enthusiastically asks if he can come along, but Rachel declines again. The conversation then shifts to a debate over whether Rachel wants to hear the actual details of what happened or Joey's humorous and exaggerated account of it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Joey's! Joey Tribbiani : Okay... Rachel Green : Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time...she and I y'know...kissed a little bit. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm sure that happened. Rachel Green : It-it did! Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. It happened! Rachel Green : Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes! Phoebe Buffay : Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek. Joey Tribbiani : Why are you taking this away from me?", "summary": "Rachel confesses to Phoebe and Joey that she once kissed a friend in college after getting drunk at a Sigma Chi luau."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! I just-I didn't know that you are a lesbian. Rachel Green : I'm not saying that I'm a lesbian! I'm just saying that this happened! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, it just seems pretty wild and you're so-y'know so...vanilla. Rachel Green : Vanilla?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : I'm not vanilla! I've done lots of crazy things! I mean I got-I got drunk and married in Vegas! Phoebe Buffay : To Ross. Rachel Green : All right, y'know what? If you don't want to believe me about this, why don't you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! All right! Yeah! 'Cause I just can't picture it.", "summary": "Rachel Green tells Phoebe Buffay that something unexpected happened to her, but Phoebe doesn't believe her without concrete evidence. Rachel invites Phoebe to dinner with the person involved to prove her story."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho, you should get inside my head. Ross Geller : Hey! Guess what I got for your wedding! Chandler Bing : A freakish thin date with a hanger for her head? Ross Geller : No. Rachel hooked me up with a tux! But not just any tux, Batman's tux! Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : That's right! Made expressly for Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film...that Batman film he was in. Chandler Bing : You can't wear that! I'm wearing the famous tux! James Bond's tux! Ross Geller : So? Chandler Bing : So-If you wear that you'll make mine less special. Ross Geller : Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.", "summary": "Joey and Ross argue over who got the best wedding gift for Joey's bride-to-be. Chandler reveals he has a unique date with a hanger for his head, while Ross obtained a Batman tuxedo for Joey to wear on their special day."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Please, don't take away my cool thing. Please?! Pretty please?! Ross Geller : Pretty please? Not very uh, 007. Chandler Bing : Look, it's my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you. Ross Geller : When I got married you slept with my sister. Chandler Bing : That was pretty 007. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Oh good-good you're here! All right, I figured it out. I'm gonna take two tables of eight, I'm gonna add your parents, and I'm gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they're not coming. Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They...feel a little unwanted.", "summary": "Chandler Bing begs Ross not to take away his wedding gift, which he had previously slept with Ross's sister. Monica has figured out the seating arrangements for the dinner party and added Chandler's parents, but Joey informs her that the guests are not coming due to misunderstandings about the invitations."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh that's too bad. It's true, but too bad. Joey Tribbiani : Look Mon, if you could just call my mom... Monica Geller : Oh Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Look just-just tell-let her know that you really want them to be there. Let's not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years. Monica Geller : No she hasn't. Joey Tribbiani : Is it her fault that some of them didn't make it to you? Monica Geller : Well, what am I going to say? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Just uh, just tell 'em it was a mix-up with the invitations, or-No-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I don't think you can blame it on them so... Monica Geller : Hello? Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? Hi, this is Monica Geller. Yeah I'm just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent weren't delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! T-Tell me about it! Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! What are they Irish?! Melissa Warburton : ...anyway, his name is Allan and we've been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.", "summary": "Monica and Joey discuss an issue with wedding invitations not being delivered, leading to confusion and frustration. Monica calls Mrs. Tribbiani to inform her of the situation, while Joey suggests blaming the post office or the Irish. Meanwhile, Melissa mentions her boyfriend Allan and his involvement in a party planning business."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh. Oh, that's great! Melissa Warburton : Hmm Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority? Phoebe Buffay : Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon. Melissa Warburton : What one? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Y'know, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning. Melissa Warburton : Oh, isn't a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? Rachel Green : Anyway, speaking of drinking too much. I was uh, tellin' Phoebe about that one crazy night after the Sigma Chi luau where you and I uh, we made out. Melissa Warburton : What? Rachel Green : Remember?! We-come on both had the sarongs on, and we had the-the coconut bikini tops... Melissa Warburton : Yeah?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe reminisce about a wild night after a Sigma Chi luau where they drank too much and made out with each other while wearing sarongs and coconut bikini tops."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : ...we went back the house and we got really silly and we...we made out. Melissa Warburton : Oh wow, Ray-ray I have no idea what you're talking about. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Chandler Bing : Ross is Batman! Monica Geller : Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time. Chandler Bing : Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond! Monica Geller : What are you talking about?! 007 has all those gadgets! Chandler Bing : Batman has a utility belt! Monica Geller : 007 has a fancy car! Chandler Bing : Batman has the Batmobile!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross engage in silly behavior at home, leading to them making out. Meanwhile, Chandler compares Batman to James Bond, with Monica siding with 007's gadgets and Chandler defending Batman's utility belt and Batmobile."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : 007 gets all the ladies. Chandler Bing : Batman has Robin! We get ESPN right? Monica Geller : How about you go put on your 007 tuxedo and I'll make you a nice martini. Chandler Bing : Actually, I don't like martinis. Monica Geller : How about a Youhoo with a funny straw? Chandler Bing : Ooh, yum! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six? Monica Geller : The show?!", "summary": "Monica makes a joke about James Bond getting all the ladies, and Chandler responds by saying he has his own superhero alter ego, Batman. Monica offers to make Chandler a martini, but he declines. She then suggests a \"Youhoo\" with a funny straw, which he agrees to. Joey joins the conversation and asks about the start time of an event, to which Monica replies that it's unclear if people should arrive at 6 PM or if the show will start exactly on time."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, it's gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right? Monica Geller : Have you ever been to one of my weddings? Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is it's the same day as my niece's christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. 'Cause my part's just in the beginning I'm not even in the rest of the show-Wedding! Monica Geller : The wedding starts at six. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little 'til they get there? Monica Geller : You'll vamp?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah y'know, like warm up the crowd. Ask 'em where they're from. 'Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. I'm a minis-tainer! There is no one better! There is no one greater! Rachel Green : How can you not remember us kissing?! Melissa Warburton : I don't know. I don't remember a lot of things that never happened. Rachel Green : Wh... Come on! Remember? We were on the sleeping porch! We couldn't stop giggling? And our coconuts kept knockin' together?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani and Monica Geller discussing a wedding that starts late, with Joey wanting to vamp until the guests arrive. Rachel Green enters the conversation unexpectedly, bringing up a past memory of her and Joey kissing on the sleeping porch."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, somewhere Joey's head is exploding. Rachel Green : Yeah-but come on-Listen, I'm sorry I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesn't believe me. Melissa Warburton : I'm sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping. Rachel Green : No!! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, it's okay. You don't have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa. Rachel Green : Thank you Phoebe. Melissa Warburton : She didn't. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : You just carry that around?", "summary": "Rachel confides in Phoebe and Melissa about kissing Ross, but they don't believe her. Rachel clarifies that she did not kiss Melissa, and Phoebe apologizes for doubting her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece. Monica Geller : Between you and... Ross Geller : Gunther. Hey-hey! Why don't we put them on? Y'know get a picture of Batman and James Bond together. Chandler Bing : I would but mine doesn't fit. The pants are a little tight. Monica Geller : A little tight? I could see double-oh and seven in those pants. Ross Geller : Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together. Chandler Bing : Well, does that mean that you're not going to wearing yours? Ross Geller : What are you kidding? It's Batman's tux!! Chandler Bing : Let me try it on! Ross Geller : Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin' in there.", "summary": "Batman and James Bond have a conversation piece. Ross wants to wear Batman's tuxedo, but Chandler says his doesn't fit. Monica makes a comment about Chandler's pants being too tight."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! What's this? Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didn't wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy! Ross Geller : Let me see that! Oh man! Chandler Bing : The only superpower you have is a slightly heightened sense of smell. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second? Monica Geller : All right that's it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I don't care! Joey Tribbiani : No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. They're so happy they get to be a part of your special day. Monica Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : Well, you're welcome. And tell them we're really glad they're coming.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around an invitation for the At First Sight premiere and a debate over which actor wore what in Batman. Joey thanks Chandler and Monica for their kindness towards his parents."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this is for party time. Rachel Green : It happened! I am telling you it happened! Melissa Warburton : Okay. Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I don't think I'll be calling you because umm, y'know you've gotten weird. Take care you guys. Rachel Green : What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and I'm not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you don't remember that, maybe you will remember this! Melissa Warburton : My God! You love me! Rachel Green : What? Melissa Warburton : Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin' together I... I just didn't want to tell you 'cause I didn't think that you'd return my love, and now that you have... Rachel Green : Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Melissa Warburton : Aww, look who's being suddenly shy. You can't tell me you don't feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and not mean it. Rachel Green : I-I-I-I'm just...I'm just a good kisser!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey have a conversation about their plans for the wedding ceremony and party. Melissa Warburton joins in and they all reminisce about their past experiences. Rachel reveals that she had a wild night with Joey, which he doesn't remember. Melissa admits that she still thinks about their kiss and feels something for Joey, but was afraid to tell him. Joey is surprised by Melissa's confession and Rachel becomes shy and awkward."}
-{"dialogues": "Melissa Warburton : Shut up! Rachel Green : I'm sorry! Melissa Warburton : Oh you don't have to be sorry. I'm...I'm obviously kidding. I'm not in love with you. I'm not in love with her. I don't hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I don't...picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh...kiss good-bye? No? Okay. Rachel Green : Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna... Rachel Green : What the hell was that?! Phoebe Buffay : I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Rachel Green : And? Phoebe Buffay : I've had better. Chandler Bing : All right! I found one that fits! Rachel Green : Well y'know what they say, the 23rd time's the charm. Aww, look at you all handsome!", "summary": "Melissa Warburton tells Rachel Green she's not in love with her, then makes a joke about coconuts banging together. Rachel is confused and upset. Phoebe Buffay joins in on the conversation, causing more confusion. Chandler Bing tries to make light of the situation with a bad pun."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Whose is it? Rachel Green : Oh does it matter?! All that matters is that you look so handsome. Chandler Bing : Whose is it? Rachel Green : I don't want to say. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on! I don't care! Come on! Whose is it? Rachel Green : Diane Keeton. Monica Geller : Do you realize that four weeks from today we're getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!! Chandler Bing : Do you realize you get louder each week? Monica Geller : There's still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet? Chandler Bing : I figured I'd buy those. Pat, I'd like to buy a vow.", "summary": "Chandler and Rachel argue over who an object belongs to, while Monica and Chandler stress about their upcoming wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding. Chandler Bing : Right. So uh, have you written yours yet? Monica Geller : No! But I know exactly what I'm going to say. Chandler Bing : Do you happen to know what I'm going to say? Monica Geller : Let's just do it right now. Okay? It won't be hard. Just say what's in your heart. Chandler Bing : Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! What's wrong with me? Ooh, don't open that door. Chandler Bing : Monica, there are no words... There are no words! This should not be this hard! Joey Tribbiani : All right, uh... Oh hey, you've done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows? Ross Geller : Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise. Chandler Bing : I'm so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You should've seen her. Writing, writing, writing!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler struggle with writing their wedding vows, with Chandler expressing frustration at finding the right words and Monica showing enthusiasm for the task. Joey provides a brief interlude before Ross joins the conversation and shares his own experience writing vows with Carol. The scene ends with Chandler feeling inadequate compared to Monica's ease with the task."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Monica what? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Rachel Green : What is the emergency?! Monica Geller : You have to help me! I'm supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! Rachel Green : Well, I like the pretty little drawing of you in the wedding dress. Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, except your breasts look kinda small. Monica Geller : Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Yeah! Ross Geller : Well, why don't you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.", "summary": "Monica is writing her wedding vows and needs help. Phoebe makes a comment about her drawing of Monica in a wedding dress, which leads to a discussion about breast size. Ross tries to help by saying something simple, but Phoebe interrupts him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm not sure I can do that. Ross Geller : ...everyone, this is Chandler! Monica Geller : Hi, I'm Ross's little sister. Chandler Bing : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Okay. Umm, maybe you can start with, \"Chandler, even though we were friends; there was a part of me that always knew I wanted more.\" Chandler Bing : All right, there's a nuclear holocaust, I'm the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me? Monica Geller : Ennnh. Monica Geller : Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?! Phoebe Buffay : Well maybe you don't talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about y'know all the things that he's taught you. Like... Or all the things you taught him. Monica Geller : Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. You got one, two three, four , five, six, and seven!", "summary": "Chandler wants to express his feelings to Ross's sister Monica, but she rejects him. Rachel also expresses her interest in Chandler, but he is not sure if he feels the same way. The group discusses their erogenous zones and how they have learned about each other's bodies through various experiences."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : There are seven?! That's one? Monica Geller : It's kind of an important one! Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know-y'know what, I was looking at it upside down. Rachel Green : Well, y'know, sometimes that helps. Monica Geller : All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 ...7.....7...7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7...! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, \"Monica... Chandler Bing : Monica... Joey Tribbiani : \"...when I look back over our time together...\" Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I can't do everything! Look back over your time together.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to count to 7 while Rachel suggests ways to make it easier. Joey tries to help by suggesting they say \"Monica...\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute. Monica Geller : No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two? Chandler Bing : You'll get one. Monica Geller : Oh yeah? When? Chandler Bing : All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one? Monica Geller : Why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically. Monica Geller : Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler Bing : No, no, no. Monica Geller : What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler make a bet that by age 40, neither of them will be married. When Monica expresses disbelief at the idea, Chandler suggests they have a baby together when they're older."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Uh, uh. Monica Geller : Well? Chandler Bing : Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! Ross Geller : I'm getting married today!! Ahh, whoo-hoo!! Monica Geller : Do you think he knew I was here? Chandler Bing : Nice try. Monica Geller : Wait, wait, wait! Chandler Bing : Look, Monica... Monica Geller : Look! Chandler Bing : This is not going to work.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are at a wedding, where Ross is getting married. Chandler discovers that the parachute he was given as a gift is actually a knapsack. Monica wonders if Ross knew she was there, and Chandler tries to reassure her that it won't work."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I bet this will work! Chandler Bing : You are so great! I love you! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing! I said, I said \"You're so great\" and then I just, I just stopped talking! Monica Geller : You said you loved me! I can't believe this! Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Monica Geller : Yes, you did! Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Monica Geller : You love me! Chandler Bing : No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a misunderstanding about whether or not Chandler said \"I love you\" to Monica. They argue back and forth until they both admit that they didn't actually say it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Y'know I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here? Monica Geller : Then all your stuff would be here. Chandler Bing : Well, what if all my stuff was here? Monica Geller : Then you'd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesn't make any sense. Chandler Bing : Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what I'm saying? Monica Geller : You wanted it to be a surprise. Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Chandler... In all my life... I never thought I would be so lucky. As to...fall in love with my best...my best... There's a reason why girls don't do this! Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought... Wait a minute, I-I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me? Monica Geller : Yes.", "summary": "Chandler wants to move in with Monica and surprise her, but she is hesitant due to the potential complications of living together. Chandler proposes moving in together and Monica accepts, revealing that she has fallen in love with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Can we come it yet?! We're dying out here! Monica Geller : Come in! Come in! We're engaged!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, what have you guys been up to? Ross Geller : Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions. Joey Tribbiani : How is \"Monica, I love your sweet ass,\" inappropriate? Ross Geller : How's Monica coming along with her vows?", "summary": "The group is engaged and helping Chandler write his vows, but Joey makes inappropriate suggestions."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well let's just say its she's lucky she has a sweet ass, 'cause she's not so good at the writing. Ross Geller : I can't believe in four weeks they're gonna be married! Phoebe Buffay : Well let's just hope it works. Y'know nine out of ten marriages end in divorce? Ross Geller : Phoebe that's not true. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you're right. How's the Mrs.? Rachel Green : I can't believe they've been together for three years. Joey Tribbiani : Has it been that long?! Ross Geller : Believe me, it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in! Chandler Bing : I've had a very long, hard day.", "summary": "Phoebe and Ross discuss Monica and Chandler's upcoming wedding, with Phoebe expressing skepticism about the institution of marriage (9 out of 10 end in divorce) and Ross correcting her. Rachel joins the conversation and reveals that she can't believe they've been together for three years. Joey enters and jokes about the length of their relationship, before Chandler reveals that he's had a difficult day."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some? Chandler Bing : Ahh, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken. Monica Geller : Chicken? I could eat some chicken. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! Chandler Bing : Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke--Diet Coke. Rachel Green : I don't know why they didn't just tell us. Joey Tribbiani : I know! I mean it's not like we weren't cool about it. Joey Tribbiani : You?! And-and you?!", "summary": "Chandler doesn't want chicken, Joey keeps asking, Monica wants some, Chandler orders food at a restaurant, Rachel wonders why they didn't just tell them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows! Joey Tribbiani : How?! When?! Chandler Bing : It happened in London. Joey Tribbiani : IN LONDON!!! Chandler Bing : The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Joey Tribbiani : But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no! You can't! Monica Geller : Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Man, this is unbelievable! Monica Geller : I can't wait to be with you! I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler had a secret in London, but Joey found out and wants to tell everyone. Monica and Chandler don't want to make a big deal out of it, so they beg Joey not to tell."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? Monica Geller : Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big... Rachel Green : Arghh!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!! Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!! Rachel Green : OH MY GOD!!! Phoebe Buffay : OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are given a new nickname \"Laundry.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!! Phoebe Buffay : NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!! Rachel Green : I KNOW!! I KNOW!! I KNOW! Phoebe Buffay : YOU KNOW?!!! Rachel Green : Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!! Ross Geller : What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh!!! Rachel Green : HI!! Hi! Ross Geller : What?! What?! Rachel Green : Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are trying to keep quiet about something exciting, but Phoebe accidentally alerts Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Actually, it looks really good. Phoebe Buffay : Get in here!!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over! Phoebe Buffay : Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own Rachel Green : All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie. Monica Geller : Bye! #ALL# : Bye! Phoebe Buffay : Bye Chandler! I miss you already. Chandler Bing : Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discovers that Ross knows they know he knows Rachel knows about the secret, leading to a debate on whether to reveal their knowledge or continue keeping it a secret."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Actually, I did! Chandler Bing : Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me? Monica Geller : Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us! Chandler Bing : Phoebe knows about us! Joey Tribbiani : Well I didn't tell them! Monica Geller : Them?! Who's them? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey. Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell! Monica Geller : Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So...", "summary": "Monica and Chandler suspect that Rachel is attracted to him. Phoebe finds out about their secret and tells Joey, who made a promise not to tell Rachel. The group plays a game of \"who knows what\" as they try to uncover each other's secrets."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ahh yes, the messers become the messies! Phoebe Buffay : I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more! Rachel Green : Are you kidding?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel Green : I can not believe he would do that to Mon-Whoa! Joey, do they know that we know? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : They know you know. Rachel Green : Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two! Phoebe Buffay : God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! Joey, you can't say anything!", "summary": "Messers become messies. One person wants another to come over and feel their bicep. Another person finds out and is shocked and disbelieving. They confront the person who did it, who admits they were trying to mess with them. The group is upset and cannot believe what happened."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't even if I wanted too. Chandler Bing : Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her! Monica Geller : She's bluffing! Chandler Bing : Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! Phoebe Buffay : He's not backing down. He went to get lotion. Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! Rachel Green : Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Rachel Green : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : I like that! Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em!", "summary": "Phoebe tries to get Chandler to put lotion on her, but he refuses. Joey and Monica argue over the situation, while Rachel suggests that Phoebe should show Chandler her bra to scare him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Joey! Wow, you didn't rip off any buttons. Joey Tribbiani : It's not my first time. Monica Geller : You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks! Chandler Bing : Okay, give me a second! Did you clean up in here? Monica Geller : Of course. Chandler Bing : Oh, you're-you're going? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, not without you, lover. So, this is my bra. Chandler Bing : It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy were gonna have all the sex. Phoebe Buffay : You should be. I'm very bendy. I'm gonna kiss you now. Chandler Bing : Not if I kiss you first.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey have a conversation about Joey's ability to seduce women without removing any buttons. Monica joins in, encouraging Joey to continue seducing until he makes his target \"crack.\" Chandler enters and mentions that he cleaned up the room, to which Monica replies that they are going out together. Phoebe expresses her disappointment and tries to seduce Chandler with her bra, but he resist by kissing her first."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh. Chandler Bing : Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss. Phoebe Buffay : Here it comes. Our first kiss. Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya! Phoebe Buffay : And why not?! Chandler Bing : Because I'm in love with Monica!! Phoebe Buffay : You're-you're what?! Chandler Bing : Love her! That's right, I...LOVE...HER!!! I love her!! I love you, Monica. Monica Geller : I love you too Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : I just-I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe are about to kiss when he suddenly reveals that he is in love with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows! Monica Geller : Well actually, Ross doesn't. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet. Ross Geller : No! No! Wh... What are you doing?!! GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, you're friend's getting married, it's gotta change things. Rachel Green : You really think it would be that different? Phoebe Buffay : How could it not be? I mean pretty soon they're gonna be having kids, and then they're just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe they're gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership. Rachel Green : Well, things change. Joey Tribbiani : I don't want them to move to a Volvo dealership! Ross Geller : It'll be okay Joe.", "summary": "Ross and Monica's secret is out, except for Ross. Chandler and Phoebe try to keep it under wraps. Rachel doesn't think their marriage will change things much."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, I just...I like things the way they are. Rachel Green : Hey, who's this little naked guy? Ross Geller : That little naked guy would be me. Rachel Green : Aww, look at the little thing. Ross Geller : Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Chandler Bing : Who are those people? Ross Geller : Got me. Monica Geller : Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'. Rachel Green : Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there? Monica Geller : Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?", "summary": "The gang visits a caf\u00e9 run by Monica's grandmother in 1939. Joey sees a naked Ross and mistakes him for a baby, causing confusion among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Looks like a fun gang. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked! Ross Geller : Nono, that would be me again. Monica Geller : Hey, you guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : What's going on? Rachel Green : Well, we were just talkin' about you guys gettin' married and how great it is. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If that's what you really want. Monica Geller : Oh that's so sweet.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are talking about a \"fun gang\", while Monica and Phoebe join in. Chandler enters and asks what's going on, and Rachel comments on their potential marriage. Joey jokes that he could get a Volvo if he wants to, and Monica finds it sweet."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So we both finished our vows. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh, can we read them? Monica Geller : Yeah, I don't hear Chandler's and he doesn't hear mine. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's beautiful. Joey Tribbiani : Funny one! That's good! Rachel Green : Monica, will-will you marry me?", "summary": "Rachel proposes to Monica after reading their vows aloud."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What? I don't get it. Ross Geller : Oh man, this is hilarious. Monica Geller : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : Don't worry honey, we'll make yours funnier. Chandler Bing : Okay, what do you guys think? Ross Geller : Dude! Joey Tribbiani : I have never known love like this. Chandler Bing : You really like it? Ross Geller : Dude! How-how did you write this? Chandler Bing : I stole Monica's and changed the name.", "summary": "Ross writes a funny letter about Joey and Chandler, but Monica discovers it and gets upset."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You can't do that! Joey Tribbiani : If he goes first he can! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought I'd take that bad boy out for a little spin. Rachel Green : Wait a minute! You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say you're the only one who's allowed to drive it. Monica Geller : Yeah, well he's my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it. Ross Geller : It's a car Monica! Not a rocket ship! Monica Geller : Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Ross wants to drive Monica's Porsche, but Monica refuses and Ross tries to manipulate her by saying he saw it parked outside and thought he could take it for a spin. Rachel intervenes and points out that Ross previously said only she was allowed to drive the car. Monica stands her ground, and Joey chimes in with a non-sequitur comment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin' good. When do I get to take that baby out again? Rachel Green : You let Joey drive it?! Phoebe Buffay : I've never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time. Monica Geller : Nice work everybody! So much for the y'know, \"You can drive it, but don't tell Rachel\" plan! Rachel Green : Wow! I can't believe you lied to me. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. Monica Geller : Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I won't let you drive the Porsche is because you're a terrible driver. There! That wasn't about the wedding. Ross Geller : Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche I'll be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.", "summary": "Ross offers to take Rachel for a spin in his Porsche, but Monica and Phoebe reveal that they have been secretly driving it without telling her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you got a couple hours? Ross Geller : Whew! That was a brisk ride! Rachel Green : Take the top down did ya? Ross Geller : Only way to fly. Rachel Green : Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what she's talking about! I am an excellent driver! Ross Geller : You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver. Rachel Green : Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader. Ross Geller : Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy. Rachel Green : I think she's checking out your beehive Ross. Ross Geller : What?! Give-give me a brush.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel go for a joyride in his car, with Joey along for the ride. Monica criticizes Rachel's driving skills, leading to a debate between Ross and Rachel about who is a better driver. The conversation takes a turn when a girl gives Ross an admiring look, leading to jokes about his hairstyle."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Gimme the keys! Ross Geller : No way! Rachel Green : Well no brush! Ross Geller : Fine! Y'know what? It doesn't matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom. Rachel Green : Alimony. Monica Geller : Chandler, we still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad. Chandler Bing : Oh! Right. Umm, maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation. Monica Geller : Chandler! He's your father; he should be at the wedding. Chandler Bing : I don't even know the man. Okay? We're not the close. I haven't seen him in years. Monica Geller : Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasn't even asked?!", "summary": "Ross refuses to give Rachel the car keys, and they argue about it. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler discuss their father not receiving an invitation to their wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well he doesn't have to know! It's not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles. Chandler Bing : Trust me, you don't want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress. Monica Geller : So what! As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil I don't care. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. Rachel Green : Ahhh! Ooh, nice! Rachel Green : My God! Ross Geller : What do you think you're doing?! Rachel Green : Just washing the windshield. Ross Geller : There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why don't you just hand over the keys?", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe are discussing a wedding where the father of the groom will be wearing a backless dress. Monica doesn't care as long as he's not wearing a white dress and veil. Phoebe wants to do some shopping, and Rachel accidentally washes the windshield while trying to clean it. Ross is upset about Rachel driving the car without his permission."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! Rachel Green : Look Ross, if you're so freaked out, just get in the car! Ross Geller : With you?! Yeah right! Rachel Green : All right. Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Okay! Rachel Green : What are you doing?! Get in the front! Ross Geller : In the death seat?!! Rachel Green : Oh my... Man : Hey guys!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are in a car together when Ross becomes freaked out and insists that Rachel get out of the car. Rachel offers to give Ross $20 to leave, but he refuses. They argue and Rachel eventually tells Ross to get in the front seat."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey sweetie! Man : Ready to go? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monica's. I'll be right back. Man : Wait a minute! Phoebe Buffay : What? Oh. Ooh. Whoa! That one kept going. Joey Tribbiani : So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out? Man : Over a month. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better. Man : Sure, I'd like that.", "summary": "Phoebe leaves to retrieve her purse and Joey asks if the man wants to get to know him better. The man agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : So uh, what's your name? Man : Its Jake. Joey Tribbiani : Joey. Hey Jake, do you like the Knicks? Jake : Yeah, big fan. Joey Tribbiani : Me too! There's a game on Tuesday do you wanna go? Jake : Yeah that would be great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday. Monica Geller : Here! Chandler Bing : What's this? Monica Geller : It's your suitcase. We're going to Las Vegas. Chandler Bing : Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowers-Think of the money we'll save!! We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?", "summary": "Joey and Jake bond over their shared love of the Knicks, with Joey inviting Jake to a game on Tuesday. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler discuss their upcoming wedding and debate whether to elope or have a larger ceremony with flowers."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : We're going to Las Vegas to see your dad. It's time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law. Chandler Bing : Y'know we already went over this and I won! Monica Geller : No you didn't. Oh and honey just so you know, now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore. Chandler Bing : Look forget it okay? I don't want to go. I don't want to see him. I don't wanna. Monica Geller : Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know... Chandler Bing : No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, you'd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Y'know it's hard enough to be fourteen. You're skinny. You're wearing speedoes-That your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and there's your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack! Monica Geller : Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? That's a, that's a pretty great dad. Chandler Bing : He had sex with Mr. Girabaldi! Monica Geller : Who's Mr. Girabaldi? Chandler Bing : Does it matter?!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are going to Las Vegas to meet Chandler's father for the first time since he embarrassed him throughout high school by dressing up as various Hollywood stars at his swim meets. Monica wants to get to know her future father-in-law, but Chandler has no interest in seeing him. He recounts humiliating moments from his teenage years, including his dad's outrageous costumes and awkward interactions with their friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler, you're not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe it's time that you let that stuff go. If your father's not at your wedding...you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life. Chandler Bing : Yeah o-okay, but I'm just doing this for you. Monica Geller : Yes! Chandler Bing : So I really never get to win anymore? Monica Geller : How much did ever really win before? Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Listen, you know how uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Well, when Jake did it I saw that...he was wearing women's underwear!", "summary": "Monica convinces Chandler to invite his father to their wedding, despite Chandler's reluctance. Chandler claims he wants to do it for Monica, but Phoebe suspects he has ulterior motives. Joey makes a comment about checking out someone's underwear, leading Phoebe to reveal that Jake was caught wearing women's underwear."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I know. They were mine. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. No! No wait, that's weird! Phoebe Buffay : No, it's not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on. Joey Tribbiani : That's weird! Phoebe Buffay : I'm wearing his briefs right now. Joey Tribbiani : That's...kinda hot. Phoebe Buffay : I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I wouldn't know about that. Phoebe Buffay : And! Y'know what Jake says? That women's underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well next thing you know, he'll be telling you that your high heels are good for his posture!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Joey Tribbiani have a conversation about women's underwear, with Phoebe sharing that she was wearing Joey's briefs and finding them comfortable. Joey expresses surprise and humor at the situation, with Phoebe noting that Jake (presumably a friend) agrees that women's underwear is more comfortable."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! I'm thinking even more than you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, he looked like a real lumberjack in those pink laceys. Phoebe Buffay : I'm just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in women's underwear! I don't think you could ever do that. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I am secure with my masculinity. Phoebe Buffay : Okay whatever. Joey Tribbiani : You've seen my huge stack of porn right? Rachel Green : God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed. Ross Geller : You don't have a valid driver's license-Okay that is it! Pull over right now! Rachel Green : Oh Ross you're so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax... Ross Geller : What-what are you doing?! Are you-Okay that's not funny! Just stop horsing around!", "summary": "Jake is questioned about his masculinity after walking in women's underwear. Joey defends Jake and says he can also walk in women's underwear, but only a confident man would do so. Rachel needs to renew her driver's license, and Ross gets upset when she starts driving while distracted."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I am not horsing around okay? I am Porsching around. Rachel Green : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble. Rachel Green : Really? You think so? Ross Geller : I was talking to myself! You're going down! Waiter In Drag : You're straight. I get it. Monica Geller : I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats. Chandler Bing : No! No! I don't want him to know we're yet! I'm not sure I'm ready for that. And besides he's not gonna be too happy to see me either. Monica Geller : Why not?! Chandler Bing : I don't know if I've told you this, but he's kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a tense conversation about her driving a Porsche, while Monica and Chandler discuss their parents and Chandler's reluctance to see him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, he's made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Y'know it's all very Cats in the Cradle-I don't want to get into it. Here we go. Announcer : Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket! Helena : Hello darlings. Chandler Bing : And there's daddy! Rachel Green : Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! I'll go under, you go over! Ross Geller : Yeah, I'll get right on that. Rachel Green : Oh come on Ross!! Ross Geller : No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, I'm sure we won't get arrested for this. Rachel Green : Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?", "summary": "Chandler makes excuses to avoid seeing his father who keeps showing up unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my God. Policeman : Can I see your license please? Rachel Green : Oh yes, absolutely! Y'know, it's weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh...well I probably shouldn't tell you the rest. Policeman : Your license? Rachel Green : Yes. Here you go Officer uh, Handsome. Policeman : That's Hanson. Rachel Green : Oops sorry, my mistake. Ross Geller : Dear Lord!! Policeman : Wow! Ross Geller : Here it comes.", "summary": "Rachel has a dream about being stopped by a policeman, and in real life, she is actually stopped by a policeman who asks for her license."}
-{"dialogues": "Policeman : This is a great picture. Rachel Green : Really?! You think so? Y'know, I had just rolled out of bed. Policeman : Yeah? Well you look phenomenal. Ross Geller : Well she should, it was taken ten years ago! Rachel Green : Y'know you're-you're probably wondering about the old date on there. Policeman : Yes I am. Rachel Green : Yeah. Policeman : You're an Aquarius, huh? Rachel Green : I bet you're a Gemini. Policeman : Nope.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss an old photo of her from 10 years ago, with Ross commenting on how great she looks despite having just rolled out of bed. The policeman they are speaking to is curious about the date on the photo and asks Rachel about it. Rachel reveals that she is an Aquarius, and the policeman guesses that she is a Gemini."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Taurus? Policeman : Nope. Rachel Green : Virgo? Policeman : Nope. Rachel Green : Sagittarius? Policeman : Yep. Rachel Green : I knew it! I knew it, ahh.... Policeman : Well I tell you what... Rachel Green : Yeah? Policeman : You're not gonna speed anymore right?", "summary": "Rachel Green suspects a policeman's zodiac sign and he confirms it. They then discuss her speeding and the policeman tells her she won't be speeding anymore."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I won't speed. Policeman : And you promise you'll get this taken care of right away? Rachel Green : I promise. Policeman : And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license? Rachel Green : Yeah! Policeman : Can he handle the stick? Rachel Green : Oh well... Ross Geller : I can handle the stick!! Helena : I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and... #ALL# : Gay!", "summary": "Rachel promises to take care of a speeding ticket right away, while Ross agrees to drive despite not having a license. Helena feels confident and attractive after putting on makeup."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That can't be your father. Chandler Bing : Believe me, I've been saying that for years. Oh my God! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : That's Mr. Girabaldi playing the piano. Helena : For I'm loved by a pretty wonderful boy! Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. Chandler Bing : He's coming into the audience. He's coming into the audience. Monica Geller : Relax! You'll be fine. Oh much better. You're invisible now. Helena : Where are you from? Guy : Bakersfield. Helena : I'm sorry?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler attend a local TV show, where they encounter an unexpected guest. Meanwhile, Helena tries to get to know Guy, who is from Bakersfield."}
-{"dialogues": "Guy : Bakersfield! Helena : No-no I heard! I'm just sorry. Chandler Bing : It can't happen like this. Okay? I'll meet you back at the hotel. Helena : Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. Monica Geller : Can we have our drinks please?! Waiter-Uh, tress! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Check it out. How much of a man am I?! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about.", "summary": "Helena mistakenly congratulates Guy on his upcoming wedding, while Chandler tries to cancel the event. Monica asks for their drinks, and Joey shows off his masculinity. Phoebe makes a comment about Joey's supposed \"manliness\" and also implies he is something of a player."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : The silk? Feels really good! Phoebe Buffay : Huh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And-and things aren't as...smashed down as I thought they were gonna be. Phoebe Buffay : That's great Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And you have so many more choices than you do with men's underwear! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : Bikini, French cut, thong! And-and the fabrics! You've got cotton, silk, lace! And y'know what I've always wondered about? Phoebe Buffay : Hmm? Joey Tribbiani : Pantyhose! Y'know? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here... I should go take these off shouldn't I?", "summary": "Joey tries on various women's undergarments with Phoebe, including bikinis, French cut, thongs, and pantyhose. They discuss the fabrics and how they feel. Joey wonders about the design of pantyhose and if he should take them off."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I think it's important that you do. Helena : So what's your name? Chandler Bing : Chandler. Helena : Chandler? What an unusual name! You must've had terribly fascinating parents. Chandler Bing : Oh, they're a hoot. Helena : And who is your friend? Monica Geller : I'm-I'm Monica. Helena : Monica! Where are you from? Monica Geller : New York. Helena : I'm not very fond of New York. Queens I like. Ooh, what is this sparkle something! Honey! Huh?", "summary": "Helena meets Chandler and Monica at Central Perk. Helena asks Chandler about his name and finds it unusual. Monica joins in and introduces herself. Helena expresses her dislike for New York but likes Queens. The group discusses a sparkly object that Helena finds interesting."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Actually Monica and I are engaged. Helena : Really?! Congratulations. When's the big day? Monica Geller : In...in two weeks. Helena : I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. So you're bald? Chandler Bing : Wait! Wait! We'd really love it if you could be there. Helena : We? Chandler Bing : I know it would make me happy, ma'am. Helena : Well I wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh! I'm getting all misty here! You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something. Monica Geller : You okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Thanks for making me do this.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are getting married in two weeks, and Helena is excited to attend. However, when Chandler mentions that they would love it if she could be there, Helena becomes overly emotional and starts tearing up."}
-{"dialogues": "Helena : Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life... It's raining men! The Chorus Line : Hallelujah! Helena : It's raining men! The Chorus Line : Amen! Chandler Bing : When I was growing up I...played the one on the far left. Rachel Green : Remind me to introduce you to someone! Ross Geller : Who? Rachel Green : Fourth gear!! Ross Geller : What?! What does he want?! I wasn't doing anything! Rachel Green : Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two o'clock position.", "summary": "The bride and groom are lucky to have found each other, but in life, a little rain must fall. Helena says it's raining men, and the chorus agrees with a Hallelujah! Chandler Bing shares a childhood memory of playing a specific instrument, and Rachel Green teases him about it. Ross Geller becomes confused and defensive when Rachel mentions something about his hand position on the piano."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Maybe it's uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! Rachel Green : It's a different guy! Ross Geller : Good evening officer. Policeman : Do you know how fast you were traveling back there? Ross Geller : Ah no. I don't, but it could not have been more than sixty. Policeman : You're right. It was 37. Ross Geller : I mean you're not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya? Policeman : That's right. Ross Geller : Y'know of-officer I uh...I had the weirdest dream last night... Rachel Green : Oh my God!", "summary": "Ross has a dream and tells Rachel, who thinks it's a sign that her ex-boyfriend is back flirting with her. However, it turns out to be a different person, who happens to be a police officer who pulls Ross over for speeding."}
-{"dialogues": "Policeman : Your license please. Ross Geller : You don't-you don't want to hear about my dream Officer...Pretty? Policeman : It's Petty. I'll be right back with your ticket. Rachel Green : You have a son! Ross Geller : I know. I know. Phoebe Buffay : Feel better? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that I'm y'know insecure about my manhood or anything y'know, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I understand. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Okay! Hey! Hi! Woman : Hi!", "summary": "Ross is pulled over by a policeman who asks for his license. Ross begins to tell the officer about his dream, but the officer interrupts and tells him he'll be back with the ticket. Rachel reveals that Ross has a son, and Phoebe tries to comfort him. Joey expresses insecurity about his manhood and suggests hooking up with a woman. The conversation continues with various interjections from the other characters."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere? Woman : I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Maybe it's because I'm on television. I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives. Woman : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Woman : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Hm-mmm. Waitress : $4.50 please. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, let me get this. These are for you. Monica Geller : Do you realize this is probably the last time we'll all be here in the coffee house as six single people?", "summary": "Joey recognizes a woman and thinks he knows her from somewhere, but she denies it. He reveals that he is an actor on Days of Our Lives. Meanwhile, Monica reflects on how their lives may change as they move on to new relationships and experiences."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Why?! What's happening to the coffee house?! Oh! Chandler Bing : Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain. Monica Geller : Old? Chandler Bing : The young hot ball and chain. Monica Geller : That's much better. Rachel Green : Op! We gotta go! Ross Geller : Oh, where are you guys going? Monica Geller : We're gonna pick up the wedding dress then we're gonna have lunch with mom. Ross Geller : Ah. Joey you're-you're having lunch with my mom? Joey Tribbiani : No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure!", "summary": "The coffee house where they hang out is being taken over by four people, including Chandler and Monica. Monica objects to being called \"old,\" while Rachel exclaims \"Op!\" and they all decide to go pick up a wedding dress and have lunch with Monica's mom. Joey accidentally agrees to have lunch with Ross's mom."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Y'know what? Actually I'm kinda glad they're leaving 'cause uh, I need to talk to you about something. Chandler Bing : What's up? Ross Geller : Well this uh, this may be a little awkward. Chandler Bing : Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night. Ross Geller : No, its...Its not that. Umm, now what I'm going to say to you, I'm not saying as your friend. Okay? I'm-I'm saying as it as Monica's older brother. Chandler Bing : But you're still my friend? Ross Geller : Not for the next few minutes. Chandler Bing : During this time...are you, are you still my best man? Ross Geller : Nope. Chandler Bing : Do I still call you Ross?", "summary": "Ross is glad that his friends are leaving because he needs to talk to Chandler about something. He starts by saying it may be awkward, then reveals that he is talking as Monica's older brother instead of as a friend. He then asks if Chandler is still his best man and if he can still call him Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monica's older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! What? I'm-I'm-I'm serious! Come-Hey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? I'm-I'm not kidding here! Chandler Bing : Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning. Ross Geller : No problem. Chandler Bing : So are we...friends again? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Okay. You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me! Rachel Green : What 'cha doing Mon? Monica Geller : I'm making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared. Phoebe Buffay : What are they? Monica Geller : Well, so far I have uh, my bride's maids dresses won't get picked up, my veil gets lost, or I don't have my something blue.", "summary": "Ross threatens to harm Chandler if he hurts Monica during their wedding. Chandler jokes about the warning, but Monica starts making a list of potential problems that could occur during the wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Those are all the things I'm responsible for! Monica Geller : I had to go with the odds Rach. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didn't get the part? Rachel Green : The commercial? Joey Tribbiani : No! Phoebe Buffay : That play? Joey Tribbiani : No! Monica Geller : That other play? Joey Tribbiani : Nooo! Phoebe Buffay : The movie?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are responsible for different things. Joey auditioned for a part but didn't get it. Phoebe had a part in a play, but Joey didn't get the role."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Joey Tribbiani : Yes that's the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Back then y'know, we called the Great War. It really was! Joey Tribbiani : Well anyway, the guy they wanted backed out and now they want me! I start shooting today! Phoebe Buffay : Congratulations! Rachel Green : Oh that's great! Monica Geller : Wait! Wait! Wait! You can't start today! Today's the rehearsal dinner! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, I'll be done by then. Monica Geller : Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!", "summary": "Soldiers from World War I are fought in a war. One soldier backs out and another takes his place. The new soldier prepares to start shooting today, but there is a rehearsal dinner on the same day that he must be done by."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know! All right, I'll see you guys over there! I'm off to fight the Nazis. Rachel Green : Oh, wait Joey! We fought the Nazis in World War II, not World War I. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Okay. Yeah well, who-who was in World War I? Phoebe Buffay : Go ahead. Rachel Green : You're gonna be late! Go! Go! Monica Geller : Who did we fight in World War I? Rachel Green : Mexico? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Very good. The Assistant Director : Hey Joey! We're ready. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Me too.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani goes to fight Nazis in World War II, but Rachel Green corrects him that they fought in World War I. Phoebe Buffay answers questions about World War I, and Monica Geller joins in."}
-{"dialogues": "The Assistant Director : Richard? We're ready for you. Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby he's playing Vincent. Joey Tribbiani : I'm doing my scenes with you? Richard Burke : Nice to meet you Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! I can't believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar! Richard Burke : No I didn't. Joey Tribbiani : I think you did. Richard Burke : I think I lost. Three times. Joey Tribbiani : Uh...Cookie? The Director : Okay! We're about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys don't mind, can we run it a couple of times? Richard Burke : Yeah, sure.", "summary": "Richard Crosby (played by Richard Burke) and Joey Tribbiani (played by Joey Tribbiani) are set to film a scene together, but Joey is starstruck and mistakes Richard for an Oscar-winning actor. Richard corrects him, revealing that he did not win any Oscars. The two then run through the scene a few times as the director prepares to light the set."}
-{"dialogues": "The Director : Okay, all right. Let's do it. And...Action! Joey Tribbiani : We have to find the rest of the platoon! Richard Burke : Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Richard Burke : The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony! Joey Tribbiani : So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food! Richard Burke : No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta! The Director : Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong? Joey Tribbiani : No. Nope, I uh...I th-I thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Y'know? He's uh, he's a face toucher. The Director : I don't think so. Let's take it back to Richard's last line. Action!", "summary": "The platoon is gone and dead, leaving the characters without reinforcements or food. Joey continues to touch his face, insisting it's a character trait. The Director interrupts and directs the actors to continue with Richard's line."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! Monica Geller : Honey, we gotta go! Chandler Bing : Okay. Here's a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces. Monica Geller : I don't have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does. Chandler Bing : Yes, include more people in this. Monica Geller : Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow we'll be getting married? Chandler Bing : Wait a minute! I have a date tomorrow night. Monica Geller : I just, I can't believe that we made it! Chandler Bing : Well you don't have to sound so surprised. Monica Geller : I'm sorry but...nothing.", "summary": "Monica and Richard discover food in their basement while preparing for their impromptu wedding ceremony. Chandler's father calls asking to borrow one of Monica's pearl necklaces. Monica and Chandler discuss their upcoming nuptials, with Chandler revealing he has a date scheduled for that night."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Well...honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out. Chandler Bing : Honestly? Me too. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Y'know I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and I'll go all...Chandler. But nothing has. Monica Geller : Ohh, I'm so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean it's really, it's made me stay calm. I coulda been worse! Chandler Bing : Okay. I'll be right there. Monica Geller : Hi! If you're calling before Saturday, you've reached Monica and Chandler. But if you're calling after Saturday, you've reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings! Monica Geller : Hey Maureen! Gosh! Hey uh, Chandler? This is my cousin Maureen. Chandler Bing : We're the Bings.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Chandler and Monica's engagement and their anxiety about something going wrong during their wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful! Chandler Bing : Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Ross Geller : Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler. Monica Geller : What is that? Ross Geller : Well I...I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, please! My make-up! Chandler Bing : Hi. Nora Tyler Bing : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Mom. Thanks for wearing something. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon there'll be lots of little Bings.", "summary": "Chandler's parents visit, causing tension among the friends as they reminisce about their past mistakes. Ross threatens to kick Chandler's brother's ass if he hurts Monica, while Phoebe tries to calm him down."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller. Judy Geller : It's lovely to meet you. Jack Geller : So are you his mother or his father? Judy Geller : Jack! Jack Geller : What?! I've never seen one before! Monica Geller : Dad! There's Ross , why don't you go talk to him? Jack Geller : I didn't even have a chance to act as though I'm okay with it! Charles Bing : Hello all! Chandler Bing : Hi...dad. Monica Geller : Hi Mr....Bing.", "summary": "Monica introduces her parents, Judy and Jack, to Charles Bing. Jack is shocked and confused upon meeting Charles, as he has never seen a gay person before. Monica tries to calm him down by suggesting he talk to Ross, but Jack is still upset. Chandler also greets Mr. Bing with a simple \"hi.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Charles Bing : Nora! Nora Tyler Bing : Charles. Monica Geller : It-it's so great to see you both here. Charles Bing : Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that? Nora Tyler Bing : Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that? Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Jack Geller : ...of course you can kick his ass son. Judy Geller : You could kick anyone's ass you want too. Ross Geller : Thanks you guys. Monica Geller : Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandler's dad and try to keep him away from Chandler's mom?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group gathers for a event and Charles makes a comment about Nora's outfit. Nora responds with a comment about Charles' appearance. Chandler overhears and becomes upset. Jack suggests kicking someone's ass, while Judy offers to help. Monica asks Rachel to talk to Chandler's dad and keep him away from his mom."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah! But I don't know what he looks like! Monica Geller : He is the man in the black dress. Rachel Green : Man in the black dress... Hi! I'm Rachel! I'm a friend of Monica and Chandler's! Woman : I'm Amanda. Rachel Green : Oh I get it! A...man...duh! Ross Geller : Can I have everyone's attention please? I'm uh; I'm Ross Geller. Jack Geller : Doctor Ross Geller. Ross Geller : Dad...dad, please! As I was saying umm, I'm Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and I'm the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, she's the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if you'd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple we're here to celebrate. To the Bings. #ALL# : To the Bings! Monica Geller : All right, I'm gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?", "summary": "Ross Geller is the best man at his friend's wedding, and he is excited to celebrate their union. However, he gets confused when introducing himself and refers to the groom as \"the man in the black dress.\" Meanwhile, Monica wants to steamed her wedding dress to prevent any damage before the big day."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'll do it. Monica Geller : Who wants it? Anybody? Rachel Green : I said I'll do it! Monica Geller : Nobody wants to do it? All right, I'll do it myself. Rachel Green : Monica! I'm not gonna screw it up! Monica Geller : Y'know what? You're right, I'm sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely. Rachel Green : Well of course that is what I'm here for! Monica Geller : Okay. Sorry. Rachel Green : Ugh! What grandmother? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Where have you been?", "summary": "Rachel offers to do something, but nobody wants to do it. Monica takes responsibility and tries to make amends after accidentally putting Rachel's grandmother in a taxi. Joey returns and asks where Rachel has been."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Ross Geller : What? Are you going back to work? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Nice shades. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I won't get spit in the eyes, y'know? Ross Geller : And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I! Joey Tribbiani : Great! All right. I'll see you later. Ross Geller : Hey, where's Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I think he's in Rachel's room. See ya.", "summary": "Ross takes his parents to the hotel, and Joey heads back to work. Joey mentions getting spit in his eyes during scenes and wears sunglasses for protection. Ross recalls that Ray Ban was a sponsor of World War I. Joey says Chandler is in Rachel's room."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Chandler? Chandler? Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Is uh, is Monica here? Rachel Green : She's steaming her dress, why? What's up? Ross Geller : I think Chandler's gone. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : He left that. Rachel Green : Tell Monica I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : What's up? Tell Monica I'm sorry. Tell her yourself!", "summary": "Chandler has left without telling anyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Chandler just left though! Rachel Green : Yeah but, maybe it's not what we think. Maybe it's tell Monica I'm sorry I...drank the last of the milk. Phoebe Buffay : Or maybe he-he was writing to tell her that-that he's changed his name, y'know? Tell Monica I'm sorry. Ross Geller : I think it means he freaked out and left! Phoebe Buffay : Don't be so negative! Good God! Isn't it possible that Sorry is sitting in there right now?! Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do? Ross Geller : Look-Okay, I'm just gonna-I'm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay? Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay but if you don't find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass! Ross Geller : I will, I will find him.", "summary": "Chandler left unexpectedly, leading to speculation about why he departed. Phoebe suggests he may be writing to apologize for drinking the last of the milk, while Ross thinks he's freaking out and left. Rachel and Phoebe agree to keep it a secret, while Ross vows to find him and bring him back."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! They-they just redid my make-up! Richard Burke : Just the last two pages. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Richard Burke : I found the picture! Joey Tribbiani : Picture? What picture? Richard Burke : Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction. Joey Tribbiani : Okay uh, look I know you're a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff... Richard Burke : Oh, thanks. Joey Tribbiani : But you're spittin' all over me man!", "summary": "Richard asks Joey to go through some lines with him, but Joey is distracted by his makeup and struggles to focus. Richard wants Joey to lower his script so he can read his reactions, but Joey becomes frustrated with the spitting sound effects Richard is making while acting."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : Well of course I am! Joey Tribbiani : You know you've been spitting on me?! Richard Burke : That's what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Didn't know that. Richard Burke : Great! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Okay-okay check it out! Picture? What picture? Eh? Ross Geller : Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler? Gunther : No. No, I haven't seen him. Ross Geller : Oh damn! Gunther : He's getting married tomorrow right?", "summary": "Richard Burke teaches Joey Tribbiani about the importance of enunciation in acting, claiming it's what real actors do. Joey is surprised and asks for an example, and Richard demonstrates by spitting on him. Later, Gunther mentions that he hasn't seen Chandler, who is getting married the next day."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes. Yes. Don't worry. Everything's fine. We'll uh, we'll see you tomorrow at the wedding. Gunther : I wasn't invited. Ross Geller : Well then we'll-we'll see you the day after tomorrow. Mom?! Dad?! What-what...what you guys doing here?! Jack Geller : Well you kids talk about this place so much, we thought we'd see what all the fuss is about. Judy Geller : I certainly see what the girls like coming here. Ross Geller : Why?! Judy Geller : The sexy blonde behind the counter. Ross Geller : Gunther?! Jack Geller : Your mother just added him to her list. Ross Geller : What? Your-your list?", "summary": "Ross and Gunther are discussing a wedding when Judy and Jack arrive, unaware of their conversation. Judy expresses her curiosity about the caf\u00e9 where her children frequently visit, while Ross becomes embarrassed by his mother's sudden interest in Gunther, whom she has added to her list."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : Yeah, the list that-of people we're allowed to sleep... Ross Geller : Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know I'm looking for him? Jack Geller : And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know I'm looking for her. The Director : Action! Richard Burke : I found the picture! Joey Tribbiani : What picture?! Richard Burke : The picture of my wife! In your pack! Joey Tribbiani : You went through my personal property? Richard Burke : Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?! Joey Tribbiani : Because Vincent, we were lovers. For two years!", "summary": "Ross and Judy are looking for Chandler and Rita Moreno, respectively. The director yells \"Action!\" and Richard Burke finds a picture of his wife in Joey's pack, which he went through without permission. Joey reveals that he was in a two-year relationship with Paulette, who is in the picture."}
-{"dialogues": "The Director : Cut! Wonderful! Joey Tribbiani : Great scene yeah? Richard Burke : Oh you're awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks a lot. The Assistant Director : Here's your call sheet for tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm-I'm not working tomorrow. The Assistant Director : You are now. Joey Tribbiani : No! No! I can't! You gotta get me out of it! I've got plans! Important plans! Rachel Green : Ross said there's still no word from Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Oh man.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani delivers a great scene, soaking Richard Burke with his last speech. Joey then refuses to work the next day, despite being told he is now scheduled. When Rachel Green mentions that Chandler has still not responded, Phoebe Buffay expresses disappointment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh but he did say that they found the grandmother wandering down fifth avenue. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Well there's one down. Monica Geller : I'm getting married today!!! I think I just cracked a rib. But I don't care because today's my wedding day! My day is finally here!! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know she might not even notice he's gone. Monica Geller : I'm gonna start getting ready! Rachel Green : God! Don't-We can't let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait she'll be in the gown and then he won't show up and then she's gonna have to take off the gown... Phoebe Buffay : Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You can't do this here! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just...It's just so sad! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you've got to pull yourself together! Monica can't see you like this! Then she'll know something's wrong! Rachel Green : I know. I know. Oh God. There's no tissue! Can you grab me some toilet paper?", "summary": "The group of friends are preparing for Monica's wedding, but things take a turn when Rachel discovers that the groom has gone missing. The others try to keep her calm and find a solution, but it becomes clear that something is wrong."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, that's gone too. This is Monica's bathroom right?! Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : No-no! I-I...I found one. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Oh thank you! Oh God! Can I have another one? Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Do you need some floss? Rachel Green : Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesn't show up! Phoebe Buffay : Oh here's a whole bunch. Rachel Green : Oh, I mean she's gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, \"Oh that poor girl.\" Y'know? Then she'll have to come back here and live all alone. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!", "summary": "Rachel Green is worried about Chandler Bing not showing up to her wedding, and Phoebe Buffay tries to reassure her that everything will be okay."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and it's positive. Monica's pregnant. So I guess she won't be totally alone. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : I know! Monica's gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off? Rachel Green : No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And I'm still holding this. Rachel Green : Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this. Phoebe Buffay : Right.", "summary": "Monica is pregnant."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using? Rachel Green : No. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Just for the future, this is hardly a commercial for it. Rachel Green : Anything? Ross Geller : No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasn't heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandler's parents again! Phoebe Buffay : You told them he was missing? Ross Geller : No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think I'm interested in them. Rachel Green : All right, we've got to tell her he's gone. Ross Geller : No! Hey! Hey! We can't!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss birth control, while Ross and Joey search for Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, she's gonna start getting ready soon! Ross Geller : Well, can't you at least stall her a little? I'll-I'll go back to some of the places I went last night. Rachel Green : All right, well how much time do you need? Ross Geller : Well how much time before she absolutely has to start getting ready? Rachel Green : One hour. Ross Geller : Give me two. Rachel Green : Then why do you ask?! Ross Geller : Okay, wish me luck. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. I'm going with you. Ross Geller : Why?!", "summary": "Ross tries to stall Rachel while she gets ready for a date by saying he'll go back to the places he visited last night, but she only gives him an hour. He asks Phoebe to come with him for luck, but she responds by asking why she should."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ross, you're tired. You've been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this. Rachel Green : All right, I'll see you guys later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Wait, do you know how you're going to stall her? Rachel Green : I'll figure something out. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Good luck. Rachel Green : Thanks. Monica Geller : Hey! Okay, so I thought we'd start with my make up and then do my hair. Rachel Green : Okay uh, but before you do that. I-I, I need you to talk to me. Monica Geller : About what? Rachel Green : Umm... I'm never gonna getting married!", "summary": "Ross is tired and bad at a party. Phoebe helps plan to stall his date, Rachel. Monica joins in with beauty advice but Rachel confesses she never wants to get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that? Rachel Green : No Monica! I'm serious! Oh, maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something. Monica Geller : Any woman would be lucky to have ya. Rachel Green : Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey. Monica Geller : Rachel! You okay? Joey Tribbiani : Excuse me, Aaron? Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasn't supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. It's my best friend's, and I'm officiating so I really can't work past four. The Director : Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We can't stop filming just for you. It's not like it's your wedding. Joey Tribbiani : I'm having surgery! The Director : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didn't want you to worry about me. But, I'm having surgery today.", "summary": "Rachel considers becoming a lesbian to forget about her ex-boyfriend, but Monica convinces her otherwise. Joey has a problem with his work schedule and makes up an excuse about having surgery."}
-{"dialogues": "The Director : What kind of surgery?! Joey Tribbiani : Transplant. The Director : But you're supposed to work on Monday. Joey Tribbiani : Hair transplant. The Director : But you're not bald. Joey Tribbiani : It's not on my head. The Director : Look Joey, there's nothing I can do. Besides, you're probably gonna be out by four anyway. We've just got one short scene. It's just you and Richard, and God knows he's a pro. You'll be fine. Morning Richard. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You're here! Great! Great! Great! Let's get going buddy, we've got a scene to shoot! Richard Burke : I'm wearing two belts. Joey Tribbiani : Are you drunk?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani needs surgery on Monday but wants to do a hair transplant instead. The Director is unsure if he can take time off for surgery and mentions that Richard Burke is a professional and will be easy to work with despite Joey being out by 4 pm. Joey and Richard greet each other and get ready to shoot their scene together, with Richard mentioning he is wearing two belts."}
-{"dialogues": "Richard Burke : No! Joey Tribbiani : Yes you are! Richard Burke : All right. Ross Geller : We are never gonna find him! He's one guy in a huge city! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Is that him? Ross Geller : That is an old, Chinese woman! Phoebe Buffay : He could be in disguise, y'know. Ross Geller : Aw, y'know...Y'know, maybe we're-we're just approaching this all wrong. If you're Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think you'd go? Ross Geller : So this is your office? Chandler Bing : How did you guys find me? I knew I should've hid at the gym!", "summary": "Ross and Joey search for a missing friend in a large city, while Phoebe suggests disguises could be used to hide. Ross questions how they are approaching the search, and Chandler reveals he is hiding in an office."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What the hell are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that I'm related to Monica. How is she? Ross Geller : She's fine. She doesn't know you're gone. And she doesn't have to know, okay? Now come on, we're going home. Chandler Bing : No! No! No! I can't do that! Phoebe Buffay : Why not?! Chandler Bing : Because if I go home, we're gonna become the Bings! I can't be the Bings! Ross Geller : What's wrong with being the Bings? Chandler Bing : The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games! Ross Geller : Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room? Chandler Bing : No.", "summary": "Chandler tries to prove he's related to Monica by using the internet; Ross and Phoebe try to convince him to go home with them, but Chandler refuses, fearing they will become the Bings (a family known for their unhappy marriages)."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Then you are neither of your parents! Chandler Bing : It's not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybody's! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And I've met me; I am not Paul Newman. I don't race cars! I don't make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity. Phoebe Buffay : But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this. Chandler Bing : I want to. I love her so much, but I'm afr...It's too huge. Ross Geller : Y'know, okay. You're right. It is huge. So why don't we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower? Chandler Bing : Well yeah, but then... Ross Geller : Yeah-No-but-but-but-but! We're just gonna go home and take a shower. Now, that's not scary right? Chandler Bing : Depends on what you mean by we. Rachel Green : The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes! And that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again... Monica Geller : The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel I'm sorry! I have to start getting ready! I'm getting married today!", "summary": "Chandler wants to marry Monica but feels overwhelmed by the idea. Ross and Phoebe try to help him see that it's not as big of a deal as he thinks it is."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! Rachel Green : Okay. But wait! Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Let's go to lunch. Monica Geller : I can't go to lunch!! Rachel Green : Right. Rachel Green : Oh good God! I've fallen down! Monica Geller : What's going on? Rachel Green : Okay. All right. Honey listen. When I tell you what I'm about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.", "summary": "Rachel falls down and Monica tries to help her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, you're-you're really freaking me out. Rachel Green : We can't find Chandler...-'s vest. We can't find Chandler's vest. Monica Geller : How can that be?! Oh wait! Wait! Are you, are you serious?! Phoebe Buffay : Found the vest! I mean we're gonna have to keep an eye on it, y'know make sure we don't lose it again... Rachel Green : Oh! Monica Geller : Oh wow! Okay. Don't scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, \"Oh my God! The worst has happened!\" Joey Tribbiani : I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you! Richard Burke : That can be arranged. The Director : Let's reset. Joey Tribbiani : What?! He got me! Owwwwww!!!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel can't find Chandler's vest, causing Monica to freak out. Phoebe finds it and they decide to keep an eye on it. Joey makes a comment about never wanting to see Monica with her ex again, leading Richard to make a threat. The Director intervenes and they reset the scene."}
-{"dialogues": "The Director : Let's take it from there. Richard Burke : Are you a little off today? It's going terribly slowly. Joey Tribbiani : Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And I'm the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together? Richard Burke : Of course! I'm-I'm sorry. I-I'd hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this! Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Thank you. The Director : Still rolling, annnnd action! Joey Tribbiani : I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you! Richard Burke : Now, that can be arranged! Slippery little bugger! Phoebe Buffay : So-so you two were married huh? What happened? You just drift apart? Judy Geller : Here comes the bride.", "summary": "The plot revolves around Joey Tribbiani being the minister for his best friends' wedding, but he is struggling to keep up with the ceremony as Richard Burke and Phoebe Buffay's exchanges become increasingly heated."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God Monica! Monica Geller : I wanna wear this everyday. Rachel Green : You look so beautiful. Monica Geller : I'm so happy for me. Rachel Green : Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Did Chandler show up yet? Rachel Green : Yeah, we got him back. Everything's fine. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Rachel Green : What? Why? Where are you? Joey Tribbiani : I'm still on the set!", "summary": "Monica wants to wear a new outfit every day and is happy for herself. Rachel compliments her. Joey returns after Chandler left, but something went wrong."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I'm sorry! The guy's drunk, they won't let me go until we get this. Rachel Green : Oh my God! I'm gonna have to find another minister. Joey Tribbiani : No! No, I'm the minister! All right, look-look, put 'em both on the phone, I'll marry them right now. Rachel Green : Ugh! Joey, I have to go. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Don't you hang up on me! I'll marry you and me right now! I have the power! Ross Geller : There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasn't so scary, was it? Chandler Bing : No. Ross Geller : I'm telling you, just a little bit at a time. Chandler Bing : Yeah okay. Well, what's the next little bit?", "summary": "Joey becomes the minister after he helps two people get married impromptu when one of them is drunk and the other won't let him go until they get married."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Getting married. Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like you've done everything else! Chandler Bing : Yeah. You're right. Hey I-I can do that. Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Okay, excuse me for a minute. Ross Geller : Wh-Hey-Whoa-whoa, where, where you going?! Chandler Bing : Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air. Ross Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : Oh fresh air! Phoebe Buffay : Wait! Maybe, maybe you're overreacting! You do that y'know.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss getting married, with Chandler expressing hesitation and ultimately agreeing to do so. However, mid-conversation, Chandler excuses himself and runs away, causing Ross to worry that he might be running away again."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! Well, y'know. I mean there's no way Joey's gonna make it in time. So I'm gonna through the hotel and see if there's any other weddings going on. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh but don't tell them Monica's pregnant because, they frown on that. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {It's a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.} Congratulations. Mazel Tov! Hi! Oh, great hat. Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that? The Rabbi : I don't know. Are they Greek Orthodox? Rachel Green : Yeah! Yeah. They're...they're-they're my friends, uh, Monica Stephanopolus and uh, and Chandler Acidofolus. Ross Geller : Hi! Hi! Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler? Jack Geller : I thought he was with you. Ross Geller : He-he was with me umm, we're playing a little game, y'know? Hide and seek.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are getting married, but Joey won't make it in time. Rachel and Phoebe try to find another wedding to attend instead. The Rabbi is hesitant to perform a Greek Orthodox ceremony for Monica and Chandler, as he's not sure if they're actually Greek Orthodox. Meanwhile, Ross is searching for Chandler in a game of hide and seek."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : You can't ask us son, that's cheating. Ross Geller : You're right, thanks for keeping me honest dad. Judy Geller : Well, he better not come by here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress. Nora Tyler Bing : As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress. Charles Bing : But that was after the wedding, it's not bad luck then. Nora Tyler Bing : Honey, it isn't good luck. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Monica! Monica Geller : I know! Hey, how's Chandler doin'? Ross Geller : Great. He's doing great. Don't you worry about Chandler. Monica Geller : Are you okay?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around Jack and Judy Geller not wanting Ross to see Nora Tyler Bing in her wedding dress, as they believe it's bad luck. Meanwhile, Monica asks Ross how Chandler is doing after his recent breakup."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Well, you're-you're sweating. Ross Geller : These-these are beads of joy. Monica Geller : Oh that's sweet. Don't touch me. Ross Geller : Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : What's going on? Ross Geller : Chandler's gone again! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?! Joey Tribbiani : Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guy's hammered!", "summary": "Ross and Monica discover beads of sweat on his face, which he claims are \"beads of joy.\" Phoebe enters the room and Ross asks her for a second, revealing that Chandler has gone missing again."}
-{"dialogues": "The Director : I'm sorry Joey, as long as he's here and he's conscious we're still shooting. Richard Burke : You wouldn't happen to have a very big fork? Joey Tribbiani : So I uh, I just talked to the director. That's it, we're done for the day. Richard Burke : Well have we finished the scene? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You...you were wonderful. Richard Burke : As were you. Joey Tribbiani : So I got your car, it's right outside. Richard Burke : Why? Are we done for the day? Joey Tribbiani : That's what you told me. Richard Burke : Oh, thank you. You're welcome.", "summary": "Joey and Richard talk about a fork, then they finish a scene and Joey says they are done for the day."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! Here we go. Richard Burke : Is that my ass? Ross Geller : There he is!! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Oh! Ross Geller : You're not getting away this time mister! Unless you want that ass kicking we talked about! Chandler Bing : Ross! Ross Geller : Hiiii-Ya!! I'm serious! You're not walking out on my sister! Chandler Bing : That's right! I'm not! Ross Geller : Then where the hell have you been?!", "summary": "Ross and Richard find Joey's ass, while Chandler and Phoebe try to keep him from leaving."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I know about Monica. Phoebe Buffay : You know?! Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I heard you and Rachel talking. Ross Geller : What?! What?! Talking about what?! Chandler Bing : You don't know? Ross Geller : Know what-If somebody doesn't tell me what's going on right now... Phoebe Buffay : What? You'll hi-ya? Chandler Bing : Monica's pregnant. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Oh my God! And you're-you're...you're not freaking out?", "summary": "Monica is pregnant."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well I was! Then I went down to the gift shop because I was out of cigarettes... Phoebe Buffay : Cigarettes?!! Chandler Bing : Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and that's when I uh, saw this. New York.) Yeah, y'know what? I thought anything that can fit into this, can't be scary. Phoebe Buffay : Well you obviously didn't see Chucky 3. Chandler Bing : But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so she'd know I was okay. Ross Geller : Dude. Jack Geller : Way to go son! I knew you'd find him! Charles Bing : Our little boy is getting married. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh look at you! So handsome! Chandler Bing : You look beautiful mom. You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. I'm so glad you here.", "summary": "Chandler buys a small doll in a gift shop to show Monica he's okay, but Phoebe insists it's from the movie \"Chucky 3\" and could be scary."}
-{"dialogues": "The Rabbi : Are you Chandler? Chandler Bing : Are you Joey? Ross Geller : Huh. This is nice. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce. Judy Geller : Oh I wish you're grandmother had lived to see this. Monica Geller : She's right there. Judy Geller : Not that old crow, my mother. Congratulations darling. Jack Geller : I love you sweetheart. Chandler Bing : You look beautiful. Is this new?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are at a wedding, where Ross is walking down the aisle. Phoebe discovers that Ross has never walked down the aisle thinking it could end in divorce. Judy comments on how her mother would have loved to see this moment, while Monica says she's there too. Jack compliments the bride."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Not now. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Who is this? The Rabbi : I am Father Kalebasous. Chandler Bing : He's Greek Orthodox. Rachel Green : As are you... The Rabbi : Let us begin. Dearly beloved... Joey Tribbiani : That's my line! I can take it from here, thanks. Dearly beloved, I'm sorry I'm a little late. You may be confused by this now, but you won't be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, let's get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. I've known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as I've left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica? Monica Geller : He took off? Rachel Green : Go on! Go on.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler get married, with the help of a Rabbi who becomes confused with Father Kalebasous, a Greek Orthodox priest. Joey tries to take over the wedding ceremony, but the Rabbi continues despite his interruptions. The couple exchanges vows, with the Rabbi praising their compatibility."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler, for so long I...I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now...here we are...with our future before us...and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Chandler Bing : No, that's okay. Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way it's okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I'm sure? Joey Tribbiani : You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other? Chandler Bing : I do. Monica Geller : I do. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you do! Ross Geller : Rings? Joey Tribbiani : Aw crap! Okay-uh...uh let's-let's do the rings. Joey Tribbiani : We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. Now kiss her again.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler get married after years of being together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I love you. And I know about the baby. Monica Geller : What baby? Chandler Bing : Our baby. Monica Geller : We have a baby? Chandler Bing : Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash. Monica Geller : I didn't take a pregnancy test. Chandler Bing : Then...who did? Phoebe Buffay : Oh and they're gonna have a baby. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Photographer : Great. Great! Just give me a sec to change film.", "summary": "Baby surprise! Chandler and Monica discover Phoebe took a pregnancy test and threw it away, leading them to believe they are having a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay, I know I'm not supposed to know, but I do. And I'm so excited for you! Joey Tribbiani : What? What's going on? Ross Geller : Monica's pregnant! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?! Monica Geller : Guys! I'm not pregnant. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Slow swimmers? Ross Geller : What?! What do you mean? You-you-you're not pregnant? Monica Geller : You didn't tell anybody I was did you?! Ross Geller : No! I'll be right back.", "summary": "Monica is not pregnant, but Ross and Joey think she is."}
-{"dialogues": "Photographer : Now why don't we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier. Monica Geller : Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party. Joey Tribbiani : I can't! I-I don't have any other clothes here. Monica Geller : Find some! Please! Anything that doesn't say I-I died tragically in France. Photographer : Well then why don't we see the bride and the groom and the bridemaids. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Hey Mon, why did you tell the guys you weren't pregnant? Monica Geller : Because I'm not. Phoebe Buffay : We found your test in the trash, if you're not pregnant--It's because I am. Chandler Bing : What?! What are you talking about? Monica Geller : What are you talking about?", "summary": "Monica and Joey take a photo together, but Monica insists that Joey change clothes before the party because anything that says \"I died tragically in France\" would be embarrassing. The photographer then suggests taking photos of the bride and groom, but Phoebe interrupts to reveal that Monica had told the guys she wasn't pregnant, despite being actually pregnant. Chandler is shocked and confused by this revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I...I am with child. And I didn't want to say anything because it's your day; I didn't want to steal your thunder. Monica Geller : Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?! Chandler Bing : Who's the father? Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : I can't say. Monica Geller : Why?! Chandler Bing : Why not? Phoebe Buffay : I can't say because he's famous. Rachel Green : Oh my God, who is it?! Monica Geller : Phoebe, come on, you have to tell us.", "summary": "Phoebe reveals she is pregnant, but doesn't want to ruin Monica's birthday by telling her. Monica is shocked and upset when she finds out."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay. It's James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby. Chandler Bing : As in Barbara Streisand's husband James Brolin? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Well he never said that to me! Photographer : Why don't we have Monica step away and we'll get Chandler and the bridemaids. Phoebe Buffay : How about just the bridemaids? Chandler Bing : Y'know I am the groom right? I was told it was kinda big deal. Phoebe Buffay : It is. Rachel Green : For you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh, thank you for doing that. I just can't deal with this just quite yet.", "summary": "James Brolin is the father of Phoebe's baby, but he never revealed that to her. Chandler and Monica take photos of the bridesmaids while Phoebe becomes overwhelmed by the news."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So instead you told me Monica was pregnant. Rachel Green : You said that she was, I just didn't disagree with you. Phoebe Buffay : Sneaky. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Photographer : Smile ladies. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh by the way? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Rachel Green : James Brolin? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered he's gay. Rachel Green : Ed Begley Jr. is not gay.", "summary": "Monica is pregnant. Phoebe thinks Rachel said she was, but Rachel says she didn't disagree with Phoebe. Phoebe accuses Rachel of being sneaky. The photographer takes a photo of them smiling. Rachel mentions James Brolin and Ed Begley Jr. as potential baby names, but clarifies that Ed Begley Jr. is not gay."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Bandleader : Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing! Chandler Bing : Before we go out there I've got a present for ya. Monica Geller : Honey, I'm going to put my hand in your pocket! Chandler Bing : No? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : I've been taking dancing lessons. Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you will never forget. Monica Geller : Oh that is so sweet!", "summary": "Chandler takes dancing lessons for Monica as a surprise, but she is shocked and delighted by his effort."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So? Would you care to join me in our first dance as husband and wife? Monica Geller : Yes. Monica Geller : What's the matter? Chandler Bing : I don't know, it's these new shoes, they're all slippery. Monica Geller : Well, are you going to be able to do this? Chandler Bing : Not well. Monica Geller : Well, the good news is, I don't think anyone's looking at us. Phoebe Buffay : So, are you ready to talk about it? Rachel Green : No. Phoebe Buffay : Now?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica dance their first wedding dance together, but Chandler's new shoes are making him feel unsteady. Monica tries to help him, but he becomes embarrassed when Phoebe suggests they talk about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we'll talk about something else then. Rachel Green : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Who's the father?! Rachel Green : Ugh! Look honey y'know what? I haven't told him yet, so until I do I don't think I should tell anybody else. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. That's fine. That's fair. Is it Tag? Rachel Green : Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm sorry. I'll stop. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Is it Ross? It's Ross isn't it-Oh my God, it's Joey!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss something in secret until Rachel reveals the father of her baby to Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him. Phoebe Buffay : Ah-hah! At least we know it's a him. Monica Geller : Oh sweet Lord. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and it's either this or a bathrobe! Look, what's more important, the way I'm dressed or me being with you on your special day? Monica Geller : Honey, I'm not even going to pretend I was listening. Hey! Hey! Ross Geller : Hi. I'm uh, I'm Ross. I don't, I don't believe we've met. I'm Monica's older brother. Woman : Oh hi, I'm, I'm Mona from her restaurant. Ross Geller : Oh! Hello uh, Mona from her restaurant. Mona, wow what a, what a beautiful name. Mona : You think so? I've always kinda hated it. Ross Geller : Aw come on, Mona Lisa?", "summary": "Ross meets a woman named Mona from Mona's restaurant and hits on her while ignoring his friends' attempts to keep the secret of who he's bringing to Rachel's birthday party."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Mona umm...Clickclocken. The famous botanist? Huh? Oh no she's uh-well she's dead now. No, supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world. Mona : Really?! Well see? I never knew about her. Ross Geller : Linda Clickclocken. So what uh, what-what table are you at? Oh, uh me too. Mona : Oh good. Now there'll be someone there who likes my name. Ross Geller : Yes there will. Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert you've just been bumped up to table one. And if it's all right with you I'm gonna take your place at table six-Martin Clickclocken. Joey Tribbiani : That's better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. Nora Tyler Bing : Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. I'd like you to meet Dennis Phillips. Dennis Phillips : Congratulations. Chandler Bing : Thank you.", "summary": "Mona and Ross discuss a famous botanist named Linda Clickclocken, who was once considered attractive in the plant world. Mona never knew about her, while Ross mentions that she has been bumped up to table one. Joey helps Chandler with his awkwardness during a date with Nora Tyler Bing, and they meet Dennis Phillips."}
-{"dialogues": "Nora Tyler Bing : Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover. Chandler Bing : Bravo Dennis thanks for pleasing my mother so. Dennis Phillips : Oh, I'm so sorry I missed the ceremony, I was stuck at auditions. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh yes, Dennis is directing a new Broadway show. Joey Tribbiani : I don't believe we've met, Joey Tribbiani. Dennis Phillips : Dennis Phillips Joey Tribbiani : Wow, I've admired your work for years. You-you've done some really amazing stuff. Dennis Phillips : Oh, thank you. Well if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. Joey Tribbiani : Wow Dennis Phillips! That's great! How did you guys meet? Nora Tyler Bing : Well, it's a funny story.", "summary": "Dennis is a dear friend and fantastic lover of Nora's. He was stuck at auditions when he missed the ceremony where he was supposed to direct a new Broadway show. Joey admires his work and they meet for the first time, with Joey expressing amazement at Dennis's accomplishments."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Funny: Ha-Ha Or Funny Bandleader : Thank you, thank you very much. If everyone will please take your seats, dinner will be served. Ross Geller : Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six. Mona : No, nine. Ross Geller : Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way which uh, which was misleading. Well I'm... Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? 'Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I would've done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and that's just for ugly people. Chandler Bing : What size shoes do you wear? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, eleven, eleven and a half. Chandler Bing : Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I don't even really know where I left those. Sorry.", "summary": "Ross and Mona mistake their table number at dinner, while Chandler and Joey discuss shoes and acting careers."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Those aren't eleven and a half. Joey Tribbiani : Okay fine! I'm a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, I'll show ya! Monica Geller : Can you believe Phoebe got pregnant?! Rachel Green : Oh y'know what honey? Let's not talk about that right now? Monica Geller : This is so huge. Rachel Green : Sure, but come on, as big as your wedding? Monica Geller : Of course not nothing is. Between me and you... Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : ...in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant? Rachel Green : Hey! Y'know, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything they're supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!", "summary": "Phoebe got pregnant and the group is in disbelief. Monica questions how someone could be so irresponsible in this day and age, while Rachel defends Phoebe and says that even with proper precautions, accidents can still happen."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How? Rachel Green : I don't know! Maybe they have tools. Monica Geller : Well I-I talked to and uh, she's definitely going to have this baby. Y'know, she said she was gonna raise it on her own. Rachel Green : Well, maybe that's, maybe that's really brave. Monica Geller : Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard it's gonna be. Rachel Green : Maybe she hasn't really thought it through that well. Monica Geller : Well, there's a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize she's not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years? Rachel Green : I don't know. Monica Geller : Are you okay? Rachel Green : Uh-hmm. I'm just thinking about Phoebe; poor knocked up Phoebe.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss Phoebe's pregnancy, with Monica expressing concerns about how Phoebe will handle it financially and juggle work, as well as the fact that she won't have a social life for 18 years."}
-{"dialogues": "Waiter : Champagne? Rachel Green : Oh yes! Thank you very much! Oh that's-that's actually how the French drink it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I just got off the phone with my lover, James Brolin... Monica Geller : Oh really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, \"James, James Brolin, are you sure?\" James Brolin said... Monica Geller : Rachel's really the one who's pregnant. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Why bother? Monica Geller : How do you feel? Rachel Green : I don't know. I don't know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I don't want to make. Somebody just take this away from me!! Phoebe Buffay : Calm down. Maybe you're not pregnant.", "summary": "Rachel Green orders champagne and reveals she may be pregnant, while Phoebe Buffay discusses her phone call with her lover James Brolin, who is married to a singer but expressed willingness to leave her for Phoebe. Monica Geller shares the unexpected news that Rachel is actually pregnant, which causes Rachel to feel overwhelmed and unsure of how she feels."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure. Monica Geller : Yes! Maybe it's a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right? Rachel Green : How many ways are there to do that? Phoebe Buffay : I'm-I'm just saying, don't freak out until you're a hundred percent sure. Rachel Green : All right, I'll-I'll take it again when I get home. Monica Geller : You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me. Rachel Green : Okay. Thank you. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : I'll run out and get you one.", "summary": "Rachel takes a pregnancy test and receives an unclear result. Phoebe encourages her to take another test to confirm, while Monica suggests they all take the test together as a present."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, you guys are so great. Monica Geller : Oh, wait a minute! Who's is the father?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, she won't tell us. Monica Geller : Oh, come on it's my wedding! That can be my present. Rachel Green : Wh-Hey, I just gave you peeing on a stick. Phoebe Buffay : See? This is why you register. Ross Geller : It was the chair again! Okay? I'm not doing it! It what-look, I don't-y'know what-eh-eh... Hi. Mona : Hi! Ross Geller : Umm, would you like to dance? Mona : Sure.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find out they are having a baby after a series of mishaps involving a pee stick and a chair. Phoebe refuses to reveal who the father is, causing tension among the group. Mona joins the conversation and Ross asks her to dance."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah? Mona : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh great! Little Girl : Dr. Geller? Ross Geller : I wasn't farting! Uh, a little game from our table. Yes? Little Girl : Dr. Geller, will you dance with me? Ross Geller : Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, I'm about to dance with this lady. Little Girl : Okay. Mona : Ohhhh! Ross Geller : Uh, unless! Unless, uh this lady wouldn't mind letting you go first.", "summary": "Ross is at a dinner party when a little girl approaches him and asks him to dance. He initially declines but then changes his mind and offers for her to go first."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : I'd be happy to. You are very sweet. Ross Geller : Yes I-I am. In fact umm hey, why don't we try it my special way? You can dance on my feet. Little Girl : Sure! Ross Geller : Yeah? Hop on. Is the pretty lady looking? Little Girl : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Keep dancing. Chandler Bing : And the world will never know. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Did you talk to Dennis about me yet? Chandler Bing : Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives. Joey Tribbiani : No-no! No! No! You don't tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks I'm a soap actor.", "summary": "Ross tries to impress a little girl by suggesting she dance on his feet, but things quickly go awry when Chandler and Joey intervene."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : But you're not just a soap actor. You are a soap actor with freakishly tiny feet. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Little Girl : Thank you. Ross Geller : No-no, thank you Miranda. Little Girl : Melinda! Ross Geller : All right. Mona : How cute was that? Ross Geller : Oh-oh, were you, were you watching? Second Girl : Can I go next? Ross Geller : What? Of course you can! Hop on!", "summary": "A conversation between Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani, Ross Geller, and others about a little girl with small feet, leading to a discussion of watching her and wanting to go next."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : Okay, but I get to hop on after her. Ross Geller : I am so gonna score. Second Girl : What? Ross Geller : I like your bow. Joey Tribbiani : I'd like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, \"Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!\" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. And-and there was some sad memories. I'm sorry. And-and some scared memories-Whoa! Eh? And then, and then I realized I'll always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. Oh! To the happy couple! Bandleader : Thank you. Ross Geller : That was very nice Ashley. Ashley : Can we do it again? Ross Geller : No-no. Mona : So, is it my turn now?", "summary": "Mona wants to hop on after someone, Ross says he's going to score, Second Girl compliments his bow, Joey proposes a toast to Monica and Chandler, and Ross reflects on their memories together."}
-{"dialogues": "Fat Girl : I'm next! Ross Geller : Oh! Mona : Uh, that's okay. You can dance with her first. Ross Geller : Oh, you-you sure? Okay. Okay. So what's uh, what's your name. Fat Girl : Gert! Ross Geller : That's, that's pretty. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert? Gert : Dancing on your feet! Like the other girls did it. Ross Geller : Okay. Hop on Gert. Gert : Why aren't you moving your feet? Ross Geller : I'm trying.", "summary": "Gert dances with Ross while Mona watches."}
-{"dialogues": "Gert : Faster! You're not going fast enough! Ross Geller : Maybe I should stand on your feet! Joey Tribbiani : So did you uh, happen to catch my toast up there? Dennis Phillips : Oh my God, that was for my benefit? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'd like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know you're casting for this new show... Dennis Phillips : Look umm Joey, I-I don't think you're quite right for this project. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, see that's where you're wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didn't see it up there, just-just try me. Dennis Phillips : It's an all Chinese cast. Can you be Chinese? Joey Tribbiani : Well I'm not proud of this, but... Dennis Phillips : Oh my God! No-no-no! Please! Please! Don't-don't-don't!", "summary": "The group discusses a new show with an all-Chinese cast and Joey Tribbiani expresses his willingness to audition despite not being Chinese. Dennis Phillips initially seems interested but then reveals he is not looking for non-Chinese actors. Joey becomes upset and jokingly offers to pretend to be Chinese."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, are you ready to get back on the dance floor? Chandler Bing : Did it turn into sand? Monica Geller : Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, you'll be fine. Chandler Bing : No. No, I won't. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didn't want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot. Monica Geller : Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesn't matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. Just try not to move your feet at all. There you go. Jack Geller : Chandler, I'm gonna have you arrested. Chandler Bing : Why? Jack Geller : You stole my moves. Rachel Green : How much longer? Phoebe Buffay : 30 seconds.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are at a wedding reception where they are about to dance together on their wedding night. Chandler reveals that he took dancing lessons but still feels embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with his wife. Monica reassures him that she doesn't care and wants to dance with him, even though he doesn't move his feet. Meanwhile, Jack is angry because Chandler stole his moves during the dance."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : 30 seconds, okay. Monica Geller : Did I miss it? Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if it's positive, we're gonna... Rachel Green : Oh I know. I know. Phoebe Buffay : It's time. The Girls : No!! Monica Geller : Go ahead Rach. Rachel Green : Oh wait! Y'know what? I can't, I can't look at it. I can't. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, it's negative.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss a possible pregnancy test result, with Rachel unable to look at it and Monica wanting to know if it's positive. Phoebe reveals the result is negative."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : It's negative. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! That is-that's great-that is really great-great news. Y'know 'cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. God. Monica Geller : Well... Well, great. Phoebe Buffay : Here. Rachel Green : Thanks. God this is so stupid! How could I be upset over something I never had? It's negative? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's positive. Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : It's-it's not negative, it's positive. Rachel Green : Are you sure?", "summary": "Rachel receives news that she is pregnant, despite previously believing she was infertile. She is initially upset, but Phoebe confirms that the test result is positive."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well yeah, I lied before. Rachel Green : Oh! Monica Geller : Oh God... Phoebe Buffay : Now you know how you really feel about it. Rachel Green : Oh-oh, that's a risky little game! Monica Geller : Are you really gonna do this? Rachel Green : Yeah. I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna have a baby! Phoebe Buffay : With who? Rachel Green : Ah, it's still not the time. Ross Geller : I just didn't see the fast song coming.", "summary": "Rachel reveals she's pregnant, Monica and Phoebe are shocked, and Rachel plays coy about the father."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Shh. Shh. Don't try to talk, we'll get you up to your room, we'll soak your feet, you'll be okay. Ross Geller : Oh, thank you. Mona : That is so sweet! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Mona : No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there. Joey Tribbiani : Tell me about it, I feel like I'm holding down the fort all by myself. Mona : It's Joey right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Wait a minute! No! I'm the nice one! I'm the one who danced with the kids all night! How...How small are your feet?! Rachel Green : Listen y'know what sir? For the last time, I don't care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!", "summary": "Joey and Mona are being nice to Ross, who is struggling with feeling unappreciated for his kindness. Rachel enters and denies taking a bag of nuts from the mini-bar and watching a inappropriate video."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Joey uh, were you in our room last night? Joey Tribbiani : No. I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill! Chandler Bing : Hi! We're checking out of the bridal suite. Monica Geller : That's right. I'm no longer a bride. I'll never be a bride again. Now, I'm just someone's wife! Chandler Bing : And I'm the happiest guy in the world! Oh honey, come on don't be upset. We still have so much to look forward to! Monica Geller : Oh yeah, right. Chandler Bing : We got the honeymoon. Monica Geller : That's not 'til Thursday. Chandler Bing : The wedding pictures?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Phoebe discuss whether or not Joey was in their room last night, while Chandler and Monica prepare to check out of the bridal suite and Monica reveals she's no longer a bride. Chandler tries to cheer her up by reminding her of their honeymoon and wedding pictures."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : They won't be ready for weeks. Chandler Bing : Not the disposable cameras from the tables. Monica Geller : That's true! I knew I married you for a reason! Chandler Bing : I'll tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : What? What did you take a picture of? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing! It was something. Chandler Bing : Okay Ross has the cameras, has he checked out yet? Rachel Green : Are you joking? Check out is not 'til noon and he has a good eleven minutes left. Chandler Bing : Oh.", "summary": "* Monica and Chandler discuss disposable cameras and Monica reveals she married him for a reason.\n* Chandler offers to develop the cameras and Monica agrees.\n* Joey joins the conversation and asks what Monica took a picture of.\n* Rachel chimes in with the time left until check-out and Chandler realizes Ross still has over an hour left."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to. Rachel Green : Yeah, one time, when we were dating, uh we got a late checkout, he got so excited it was the best sex we ever had. Until y'know, he screamed out Radisson at the end. Chandler Bing : Okay, well I'm gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. 32 Joe. You're 32! Front Desk Clerk : Here's a copy of your bill. Monica Geller : Oh thanks. Champagne, strawberries...Oh my God! I can't believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's sad. Mashuga nut? Ross Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey. Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff? Ross Geller : Why not? It's built into the price of the room. Chandler Bing : Yeah but you don't need--What is this?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel reminisce about their past experiences checking out of hotels, with Ross always being excited to leave and Rachel enjoying the extra time. Chandler finds a pornographic film in their room on their wedding night, causing chaos among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Thread! Chandler Bing : Score! Where are the disposable cameras? Ross Geller : What disposable cameras? Chandler Bing : The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them? Ross Geller : No you didn't. Chandler Bing : Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said... Ross Geller : Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, \"Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?\" Yeah, then you did that. Chandler Bing : So you don't have the cameras?! Ross Geller : No. Sorry man. Chandler Bing : So? What? What? They're gone! Monica's gonna freak!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss disposable cameras that Chandler had asked Ross to take last night at their friends' wedding. However, Ross claims he doesn't have the cameras, leading Chandler to become frustrated and upset."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, I'm sure they're still somewhere here in the hotel. I'll-I'll help you look for them. Chandler Bing : Great. Ross Geller : In-in three minutes. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Are you gonna open the presents without Chandler? Monica Geller : No! But, they're callin' out to me! I mean this little guy even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldn't mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is? Phoebe Buffay : A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman. Monica Geller : A tiny salt shaker!!! Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh! My God! For tiny salt!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Friends search for missing gifts in a hotel room while Phoebe opens one present without Chandler's permission."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh wow! Okay. Well that was fun. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. Monica Geller : Good. Okay, I'm just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Whew. Although y'know, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean... I guess y'know it may just count as a half a present. What do you think? Phoebe Buffay : Well I guess it's okay to open one more if it's part of a set. Y'know, it's probably this one. Monica Geller : Or this one! Rachel Green : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey, how are you feelin'? Any morning sickness? Rachel Green : Shh-shh-shh! The guys don't know yet do they?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe open presents, including a salt and pepper set that Monica wants to open. Rachel joins them and reveals she is pregnant but keeps it a secret from the guys."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No! Joey and Ross don't know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebe's pregnant. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's right Chandler does still think I'm pregnant. He hasn't asked me how I'm feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. After you of course. Rachel Green : Don't worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, 'cause I'm going to tell the father today. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor? Rachel Green : Ew! No! Phoebe Buffay : What?! I think he's cute. Rachel Green : Well then you have his baby. Phoebe Buffay : Believe me I'm trying. Monica Geller : Wow. Y'know it is so weird. I mean, you're gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea what's gonna happen. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. You're just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. You're like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism.", "summary": "Phoebe is pregnant but no one knows except Rachel who plans to tell the father today. Joey and Ross don't know anything, and Chandler still thinks Phoebe is pregnant. Monica finds it strange that Phoebe will change someone's life forever by telling them they are going to be a father."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Uh-huh, I guess it is pretty big news. Phoebe Buffay : Pretty big? It's huge! God, this guy doesn't have a clue! He's just walking down the street thinking, 'I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock!' then bam! He's a father and everything's different. Rachel Green : Well it's only different if he wants it to be. I mean, I'm not gonna ask him for anything. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now he's walking around thinking, 'Do I want to be a dad?' and then bam! Monica Geller : What was that bam? Phoebe Buffay : I don't. He got...he-he-he-he's hit by a bus. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant? Joey Tribbiani : Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut! Rachel Green : Oh Joey! Joey! No, it's not you! You didn't get anybody pregnant!", "summary": "A man learns he is going to be a father after having sex with a woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Why would you scare me like that? What the hell is going on? Is somebody pregnant? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. That's me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God Pheebs! You're gonna have a baby? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, I'm gonna have a baby! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, wait a minute. Who's the father? Phoebe Buffay : You don't know him. It's not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. Joey Tribbiani : Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? 'Cause I will track him down and kick his ass! Phoebe Buffay : David Lynn. Joey Tribbiani : David Lynn! David Lynn! David Lynn!! Monica Geller : Who's David Lynn?", "summary": "Phoebe is pregnant and doesn't know who the father is. Joey wants to find and kick his ass, but Phoebe doesn't want to reveal the identity of the father."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh some guy from my gym. A little annoying. Ross Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Hey! Did you find the cameras? Ross Geller : No. Did you? Chandler Bing : Yes! And that's why I'm under the table. Celebrating. Ross Geller : Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-one's turned them. Chandler Bing : Well this is great. Y'know, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, she's really depressed. Ross Geller : Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed? Chandler Bing : All my energy is going into not asking that question. I can't believe I screwed this up! Ross Geller : I'm sorry man. Here's a thought. This is the same ballroom. There's a band. There's gonna be plenty of dressed up people.", "summary": "Monica is depressed after getting married and Chandler screwed up by losing the cameras that were meant to cheer her up."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Are you suggesting we dance our troubles away? Ross Geller : No-no-no, I'm saying we-we buy more of this at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody else's faces. Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Ross Geller : I'm just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down? Chandler Bing : Marriage advice? Really?! Ross Geller : I'm telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Aren't these the same flowers? Chandler Bing : I don't know, Monica picked out the flowers. Ross Geller : What about the chairs? Chandler Bing : She picked those out too. Ross Geller : How about the place settings?", "summary": "Chandler and Ross argue over their wedding plans, with Chandler suggesting they dance away their troubles and Ross instead proposing buying more of the wedding decorations at the gift shop. Chandler questions Ross's marriage advice, pointing out that Monica picked out the flowers, chairs, and place settings."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That was her. Ross Geller : What did you do? Chandler Bing : I was in charge of the cameras! Gift shop? Ross Geller : Hmm. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ooh, did you do it yet? Rachel Green : Not yet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well what are you doing here? Are you about to do it? Is it Gunther? Rachel Green : No! Phoebe, it's not Gunther. Phoebe Buffay : Thank God, 'cause that hair on a baby... Rachel Green : Phoebe the father is not here okay? I haven't told him yet and I don't think I can tell him at all now!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss a woman they saw, while Phoebe enters the conversation and asks about the baby. Rachel reveals that she has not told the father yet and is unsure if she can tell him at all."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Rachel Green : I don't know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, 'I'm gonna tell the father today' and then bam! Phoebe Buffay : Bus? Rachel Green : No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is! Phoebe Buffay : Well-well but it is huge. Rachel Green : I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didn't even go to how huge this was going to be for the father. Phoebe Buffay : You're thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. It's like, it's like ripping off this Band-Aid. Quick and painless, watch. Oh mother of...See? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ooh-ooh! Are we opening presents? Monica Geller : No! No! I shouldn't have even opened these! I mean I-Joey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay? Joey Tribbiani : Okay.", "summary": "Rachel Green is contemplating telling her father about her pregnancy, while Phoebe Buffay tries to persuade her to just tell him already. Meanwhile, Monica Geller opens presents on Christmas morning, but quickly realizes she should have kept them wrapped due to her out-of-control behavior when it comes to gifts."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Give me one more. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Oh good, uh you're here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, now uh... It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Y'know, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Hell yeah! I'll marry you! Monica Geller : You can't marry him! Phoebe Buffay : Hey lady, your day's over! It's my turn!", "summary": "Joey proposes to Phoebe with a dramatic declaration of love. Monica intervenes and tries to stop the proposal, but Phoebe insists on continuing."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Phoebe! Joey Tribbiani : Why?! Why can't she marry me?! Phoebe Buffay : I can and I will! Monica Geller : She's not pregnant. It's Rachel. Rachel's the one who's pregnant. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Phoebe I think he would notice if you didn't have a baby in nine months! Phoebe Buffay : It's Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Now I can't believe it! What? Rachel's pregnant? Who's the father? Phoebe Buffay : We don't know.", "summary": "Rachel is pregnant, but the father is unknown. Monica and Joey are surprised and confused by this revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ohh... I wonder if that dude. Monica Geller : There's a dude? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Who? Who is it? Joey Tribbiani : About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didn't see who it was but... Phoebe Buffay : Was that story over? Joey Tribbiani : The guy left this. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I know who the father is... Monica Geller : People have got to finish their stories! Chandler Bing : Uh, excuse me? Could you take a picture of us?", "summary": "* Joey wonders if a guy spent the night with Rachel\n* Phoebe doesn't remember the story\n* Joey reveals the guy left something\n* Phoebe recognizes the father\n* Monica demands for stories to be finished\n* Chandler asks for a picture"}
-{"dialogues": "Woman At The Wedding : Oh! Of course. Man At The Wedding : Uh, would you take one of us? Chandler Bing : Uhh... Yeah sure. Click! Woman At The Wedding : It didn't click. Ross Geller : I heard it. I heard it. Man At The Wedding : But there was no flash. Woman At The Wedding : Why won't you take our picture? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah. I'll take, I'll take your picture. Man At The Wedding : Uh, your finger was covering the lens. Chandler Bing : Who are you? Ansel Adams?! Get outta here!", "summary": "Woman takes a photo with two men at a wedding, but it doesn't come out well due to technical issues. They try again, but Chandler accidentally covers the lens with his finger and Man At The Wedding corrects him. The group exchanges banter and insults as they take photos together."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go! Rachel Green : What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is? Phoebe Buffay : I may play the fool at times, but I'm a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that won't quit. I believe this belongs to the father of your baby. Rachel Green : Oh God... Oh, he's in there right now? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Now you can turn around or you can go in there and rip the Band-Aid off. What to you want to do? Rachel Green : Uh, let's rip! Phoebe Buffay : Really? Are you sure? Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, sorry. Yeah. Tag Jones : Hey Rach.", "summary": "Rachel finds out that her baby's father is in the room and panics. Phoebe reveals that she knows who the father is and encourages Rachel to confront him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why don't you go up on stage. I'll get a picture of you doing the speech. Ross Geller : Okay. Okay! Ross Geller : Will the owner of a 1995 Buick LeSabre please see the front desk? Your car is about to be towed. Anxious Wedding Guest : That's my car! Ross Geller : A '95 LeSabre?! Anxious Wedding Guest : Yes! Ross Geller : A green LeSabre? Anxious Wedding Guest : Yes! Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre. Anxious Wedding Guest : Yes! Green-blue!", "summary": "Ross tries to tow an unwanted car at a wedding, but the owner claims it is theirs. They argue over the color of the car, with Ross insisting it's blue and the owner saying it's green-blue."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well go! Go move it! Chandler Bing : Okay, you ready for the last picture? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Get ready to run. Congratulations on your wedding. Tag Jones : So, what's this about? Phoebe Buffay : Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater. Tag Jones : No. This is my red sweater. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Could I get anyone a coffee or...poison? No? Just for me? Okay. Tag Jones : What's going on Rach? Rachel Green : Nothing! Phoebe kinda made a mistake. But y'know you do wear that sweater a lot, are you involved in some kind of dare?", "summary": "Rachel has something to tell Ross, but Phoebe accidentally reveals it and confusion ensues."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Y'know, I'm actually glad Phoebe called. I know we broke up because you thought I wasn't mature enough, but I've really grown up and think we should get back together. Rachel Green : Oh, it's just not the right time. Tag Jones : It is the right time. Rachel Green : Okay. Tag Jones : I'm ready for more. Rachel Green : Tag... Tag Jones : Come on Rach, let's give it another try. Rachel Green : I'm having a baby. Tag Jones : Oh. Rachel Green : You can go.", "summary": "Tag Jones and Rachel Green broke up because Tag thought Rachel was immature, but now he has grown up and wants to get back together. Rachel is hesitant and reveals that she is pregnant, which makes Tag uncomfortable and he leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Thank you. Monica Geller : I don't know how any of these got opened?! Joey Tribbiani : You opened them all? Monica Geller : I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey! You got my parent's gift! Monica Geller : Yeah. What is that? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I don't know. I think it does something to salami. Monica Geller : Hey! How'd it go? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. What-what did Tag say? Rachel Green : Tag is not the father! And Joey knows now?", "summary": "The gang discovers that Monica opened all of their gifts, including Joey's parent's gift, which was intended for Chandler. Monica admits to being a terrible person and fears that Chandler will never trust her with anything again. Meanwhile, Tag is not the biological father of Joey, and Joey has recently learned this fact."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. Rachel Green : Oh wow, you didn't even try to unhook my bra! Monica Geller : So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is? Rachel Green : No, I will. I'm just not up for it tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know you're not gonna be alone in this. Rachel Green : I'm not? Joey Tribbiani : Listen I uh... It's a scary world out there especially if you're a single mom. Y'know, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Y'know? So, Rachel Green will you marry me? Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : What?!!", "summary": "Joey proposes to Rachel after she reveals she's pregnant."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, give me the ring back! Phoebe Buffay : No!! Rachel Green : No! Joey, oh you're so sweet. You're so-so sweet, honey. But I'm not, I'm not looking for a husband. Joey Tribbiani : I understand. Rachel Green : Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. Phoebe Buffay : I can't say that didn't hurt. But I'll take you back Joey Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : Uh yeah. Pheebs, listen about that. I only offered... Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! A Salami Buddy! Joey Tribbiani : There you go! Chandler Bing : We're back!", "summary": "Joey tries to get a ring back from Phoebe, who refuses. Rachel joins in and they both hurt Joey's feelings. Phoebe takes the ring back and offers a \"Salami Buddy\" as consolation. Chandler returns and interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Great! We're hangin' in the kitchen! Let's stay in the kitchen! Chandler Bing : It's picture time. Ross Geller : Now you are going to love these. Chandler Bing : Here's a picture of Ross. And that's me. And that's me and Ross. Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple. Monica Geller : Wow! That is a great picture! Chandler Bing : Eh? Monica Geller : Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! Ross Geller : Huh, didn't see that coming. Chandler Bing : Okay, so this isn't a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with...with this lady. Which by the look on your face I'm sure you'll remember. So we don't need--There's no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now. Monica Geller : That would be a good idea.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler find old cameras in their luggage from their honeymoon, leading to a discussion of their first kisses."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together! Monica Geller : You kissed another woman! Chandler Bing : Call it even?! Monica Geller : Okay! Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna go get these in some water. Phoebe Buffay : Wait you stole those from these people's wedding? Ross Geller : No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. Hey! My sweater! I've been looking for this for like a month! Monica Geller : Oh my God!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Hey! How you doing?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue over opening presents without each other; Ross finds a bag of unusual items from a hotel lobby; Phoebe reveals she took something from a wedding; Joey tries to join in on the conversation; and Ross discovers his sweater has been missing for a month."}
-{"dialogues": "Tag Jones : Good! Good, long time no see. Ross Geller : Yeah. Tag Jones : Like your sweater. Ross Geller : Oh hey, right back at ya. Tag Jones : Oh, it's crazy about Rachel huh? Ross Geller : Yeah. She-Well, she's one crazy lady? Tag Jones : So whose is it? Ross Geller : Umm, I don't some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later. Tag Jones : Okay. Ross Geller : He is so weird.", "summary": "Rachel is crazy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Babe! Aren't you excited we're going on our honeymoon? Monica Geller : Yeah I am! Chandler Bing : Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama... Monica Geller : That's right. Get it out of your system while we're alone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Have a great honeymoon! Chandler Bing : I'd better go pack. Monica Geller : Oh no, I already packed. The only thing I couldn't find though was your Speedo. Chandler Bing : A Speedo? Uh, I don't have a Speedo. I'm gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. Rachel Green : Oh good you're still here!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are going on their honeymoon, and Chandler excitedly rattles off a list of exotic locations they will visit. Monica teases him about getting it out of his system while they're alone. Joey and Phoebe wish them well. Monica reveals that she packed everything except for Chandler's Speedo, which he insists he doesn't have. Rachel arrives and joins in on the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : I want to tell you to have a good honeymoon! Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. What? What? What? Joey Tribbiani : We know its Ross! Rachel Green : How?! How do you know? Phoebe Buffay : It was his sweater, but-Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but I'm so relieved you guys know. Monica Geller : This is so great! And I'm gonna be your baby's aunt! Rachel Green : I know!", "summary": "Rachel tells her friends that she will tell her father about her pregnancy today, and they are all shocked. Joey thinks it's Ross, but Phoebe reveals that it was actually Monica's sweater that gave it away. Rachel is relieved that her friends know, and Monica excitedly offers to be the baby's aunt."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Me too! Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here! Rachel Green : You're all gonna be aunts and uncles. Monica Geller : Yeah, but I'm the only one related by blood. Rachel Green : Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how I'm gonna tell Ross! Monica Geller : Well, what were you gonna say? Rachel Green : Well I was gonna tell him that I'm-I'm gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants. Joey Tribbiani : Well that, that sounds good. Rachel Green : Yeah but how do I start? I mean, what's-what's the first thing that I say? Okay great! Thanks. Monica Geller : Hey! Good luck!", "summary": "Ross is going to be a father for the first time and Rachel is pregnant with his baby. The group of friends try to give Rachel advice on how to tell Ross about the news."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, bye. Joey Tribbiani : Bye. Chandler Bing : Hey, what was that all about? Monica Geller : Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby. Chandler Bing : What?! I didn't even know that-Why didn't you tell me?! Why am I talking like this?! Monica Geller : I didn't think you could keep it a secret. Chandler Bing : What?! I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets. Joey Tribbiani : What secrets? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper. Joey Tribbiani : You'll tell me later?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are having a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You already know. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something. Phoebe Buffay : All in good time my love. All in good time. Oh shoot! I left my guitar in their apartment. Well you can let me in later. Joey Tribbiani : I don't have a key, they took mine to give to you. Phoebe Buffay : What?! They took mine to give to you! Joey Tribbiani : Why would they take away our keys? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe they don't trust us. Joey Tribbiani : No that's not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town. Phoebe Buffay : You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monica's guest towels?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are married, Ross and Rachel are having a baby, and Phoebe and Joey may do something. Phoebe left her guitar in their apartment, but Joey doesn't have a key after it was taken by Monica and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I washed those! Phoebe Buffay : No you didn't. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that didn't sound like me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I have stuff in there too. Phoebe Buffay : What stuff? Joey Tribbiani : Monica's chicken parm! I'll take care of it. Hey Mr. Treeger, it's Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment. It's an emergency. Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Did Rachel find you? Ross Geller : No why?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey washes Phoebe's guitar, but denies it when she asks him. Phoebe needs her guitar to play at a gig, so Joey offers to take care of Monica's chicken parm for her. Meanwhile, Ross enters the scene and greets Phoebe before learning that there is an emergency in Monica and Chandler's apartment due to a gas leak."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh she was looking for you. Ross Geller : Oh well, I guess I'll catch up with her later. Phoebe Buffay : Well, she really wanted to talk to you now. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it seemed pretty important. Ross Geller : Oh no. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : I think I might know what this is about. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we weren't gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together. Phoebe Buffay : And?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel had a secret hookup a month ago, but they promised not to tell anyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked. Phoebe Buffay : Oh sorry. And?! Ross Geller : Well, we-we said we'd just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I don't think that's what it is. Ross Geller : Why? What-what else could it be? Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow, I don't feel well. Ross Geller : I'm telling you. I'm telling you. That's what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didn't say anything to you? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe it's something you ate? Joey Tribbiani : Please, just-just, just go and talk to Rachel. Ross Geller : Yeah, I guess I should. Man, y'know what I have to realize? Maybe I'm just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Y'know, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that.", "summary": "Ross thinks Rachel may want to start their relationship again after they had a one-night stand at her wedding, but Joey and Phoebe are skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Ticket Agent : Next? Monica Geller : They're kissing let's just go around them. Chandler Bing : Oh honey, leave them alone, they're in love. Monica Geller : I'm in love too! But in an orderly fashion. Ticket Agent : Next? Monica Geller : Hi! Can you do that and walk? 'Cause she said, \"Next.\" Woman : Sorry. We didn't hear you; we're on our honeymoon. Ticket Agent : Oh, let me see what I can do. There are some first class seats available. Monica Geller : Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Let's act like we're on our honeymoon. Chandler Bing : We are on our honeymoon.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are on a flight, where they witness two people kissing. Monica suggests going around them, but Chandler defends their right to express themselves. The couple then reveals that they are on their honeymoon, leading the ticket agent to upgrade their seats."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Grab my ass! Ticket Agent : Next? Monica Geller : Hi, sorry. I almost didn't hear you, because y'know I'm just so in love with my new husband. We're on our honeymoon. Ticket Agent : Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing you'll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing you'll be in 25K. Monica Geller : Oh no, you see we're on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class? Ticket Agent : I'm sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two. Monica Geller : You see, if we'd gone around them like I said, we-She would've given us those tickets. Damnit! Chandler Bing : 25J and K, any chance those aren't together? Joey Tribbiani : I still can't believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours. Phoebe Buffay : Of course I do! And I'm gonna give it back to you as soon as they're done with it at the key shining place.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are on their honeymoon, but their seats are given away. Monica tries to get them upgraded to first class, but the agent says all the seats are taken."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What the hell is that? Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Treeger, what are you doing? Mr. Treeger : You said there was a gas leak in here. Phoebe Buffay : Well why don't you use your key? Mr. Treeger : Because by the time I find it on this thing , the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. Come on! Hurry up. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! We could have done that. Monica Geller : Look at that! Look at that! They're going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there? Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : Me neither! We have to get in! Chandler Bing : Just act like you belong.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang discovers a gas leak in Central Perk and Mr. Treeger is unable to locate his key in time to prevent an explosion. They race against the clock to find a solution while Chandler and Monica try to sneak into the first class lounge to see what's inside."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oranges! Chandler Bing : Shh! Nice to see you again. Airline Employee : Uh sir, may I see your tickets please? Chandler Bing : Yes, of course. Airline Employee : I'm sorry, would you move your thumb? I can't see the seat number. Chandler Bing : Oh that's all right, I have it memorized. It's 1A. Airline Employee : Sir, this is not a first class ticket. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Apology accepted. Excuse us. Airline Employee : Sir! I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Monica Geller : Fine. Go! Go! Go!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are on a plane when Chandler is accused of being in first class without a ticket. They are asked to leave the plane."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Umm, I think there's something that we really need to talk about. Ross Geller : I think we do. Why don't we go inside? Look uh, I know why you're here. Rachel Green : You do? Ross Geller : Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. That's been one heck of a see-saw hasn't it? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and...and certainly passionate, but don't you think it's better if we just stayed friends?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past relationship, with Ross suggesting they stay friends after a recent one-night stand."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Seriously. What?! Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. Y'know what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean I'd-I'd be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? Can I, can I talk now? Ross Geller : Oh sure. Rachel Green : I'm pregnant. Ross? Ross? Okay, whenever you're ready. And you're the father by the way-but you got that... Rachel Green : Can I get you some water? Ross Geller : I'm good. I'm good. Rachel Green : Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. Ross Geller : Yeah, I need uh... I'm just-I don't know-I don't understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom. Rachel Green : I know. I know, but y'know condoms only work like 97% of the time.", "summary": "Rachel Green reveals to Ross Geller that she is pregnant, despite using a condom during their previous sexual encounter. Ross is shocked and confused, unsure of how this happened as they had used protection. Rachel reassures him that there is no pressure on him, but he is still struggling to understand the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!! Rachel Green : They do! Ross Geller : No they don't!!! Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!! Rachel Green : Okay Ross come on let's just forget about the condoms. Ross Geller : Oh well I may as well have! Rachel Green : Listen, y'know what? I was really freaked out too when I found out... Ross Geller : Freaked out? Hey no, I'm not freaked out! I'm indignant! As a consumer! Rachel Green : Y'know what? Let's, let's talk later. Ross Geller : No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? I-In fact, I am going to talk to the president of the condom company! Rachel Green : Okay, y'know maybe I should come back...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discover that their condoms did not meet quality standards."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Shh! Shh! Shh! Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Yeah I'll press 1! Mr. Treeger : I've looked everywhere. There's no gas leak. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. So then I can heat this up? Mr. Treeger : Anyway uh, I'll get moving on that new door. Phoebe Buffay : Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? 'Cause y'know umm, they don't-they don't have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them. Mr. Treeger : Well I'm gonna have to put on a new lock, they'll find out anyway. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Mr. Treeger : Whoa! This looks like an all day job, I'll have to cancel my yoga class. Hey Ross!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discover a gas leak in their apartment, but Mr. Treeger insists there is no problem. Joey wants to heat up something with gas, while Phoebe asks Mr. Treeger not to tell Chandler and Monica about the issue due to their lack of children. Mr. Treeger reveals he will have to replace the lock and cancel his yoga class."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi. Mr. Treeger : Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today? Ross Geller : Sure. Mr. Treeger : Namaste. Ross Geller : Namaste. Ross Geller : Oh my God! What happened to the door?! Joey Tribbiani : So it's noticeable huh? Ross Geller : Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her. Phoebe Buffay : Didn't you two already talk? Ross Geller : Yeah but uh... Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but there's something else. Rachel's pregnant.", "summary": "Ross can't make it to yoga class, so he asks Mr. Treeger to tell Jasmine. Namaste exchange. Ross notices something wrong with the door. Joey comments on how noticeable it is. Rachel enters and Ross needs to talk to her about something. Phoebe brings up the fact that Rachel and Ross slept together, but there's more to it. Rachel is pregnant."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God!!! I can't believe that!! Phoebe Buffay : Holy mother of God!!! Ross Geller : With my child. Phoebe Buffay : That is brand new information!! Ross Geller : You already know don't you? Phoebe Buffay : A little bit. Joey Tribbiani : How are you doing? Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. I mean I'll be okay. It's just I don't think I handled it very well. Joey Tribbiani : Well, what did you say to her? Ross Geller : Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.", "summary": "Ross discovers that his child's mother is Phoebe, and he struggles to handle the news."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh Ross. Ross Geller : But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : I gotta go find her. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they don't even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box! Ross Geller : Evidently they do. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Monica Geller : I can't believe we're here. Chandler Bing : Oh you've got to be kidding me. Monica Geller : What?", "summary": "Ross discovers that condoms are only 97% effective, leading to a conversation with Joey and Monica about the reliability of birth control."}
-{"dialogues": "Front Desk Clerk : As a wedding gift to you, the hotel would like to give you the honeymoon suite. Monica Geller : No!! You have been screwing us all day! Man : Who are you? Chandler Bing : We're you just ten seconds later! Monica Geller : Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean you're not the only ones on your honeymoon! Woman : Well you can have the suite if you want. We don't care about where we stay. We're here to celebrate our love together. We don't have to get free stuff. We just want to be together. Chandler Bing : We need the stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica it's Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin' from your apartment. Monica Geller : What? Are you serious?! Joey smells gas! Chandler Bing : What else is new?", "summary": "A hotel offers the honeymoon suite as a wedding gift to a couple, but they are hesitant and argue over free perks. Meanwhile, Joey and Phoebe notice gas smell coming from Monica's apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah and we'd go check it out, but you took away our keys. Monica Geller : Well do something! Get in there! Joey Tribbiani : How? I guess I could break down your door. Monica Geller : Yeah! Do that! Joey Tribbiani : And-and you won't blame us for any damage? Monica Geller : No! Are you doing it?! I don't hear anything! Come on! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, okay I'll-I'll-I'll break it down. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey hi, he's doing it. He's breaking down the door. Okay, we're in. Nurse : Okay Rachel, are you comfortable? Rachel Green : If I said I was, would you judge me?", "summary": "Monica takes away Joey and Phoebe's keys, so they try to break into her apartment. Joey offers to break down the door, but Monica encourages him to do it. Once inside, Rachel reveals that she is not comfortable."}
-{"dialogues": "Nurse : The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn... Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Uh we-we need to talk. Rachel Green : Uh-uh-uh, right now? Because I've kinda got an el fresco situation going on over here. Ross Geller : Please, please I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today. Rachel Green : Okay Ross that's fine, but can you please stand near my head? Ross Geller : What? Oh yeah. I'm sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I really-I should have been thinking about you Rach... Rachel Green : Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!", "summary": "Ross wants to apologize to Rachel for his behavior earlier but she's not interested in talking right now due to her \"el fresco situation.\" He asks her to please stand near her head so he can apologize, but she refuses."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Right! Right! I just-I want you to know that I'm going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctor's appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartment-Although we could probably worry about that 'til after we get married. Rachel Green : What married? Ross Geller : Well yeah, I think we should get married. Rachel Green : What, because that's your answer to everything? Ross Geller : No, because that's the right thing to do. Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe if you're in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we? Ross Geller : No but...but still you can't possibly do this alone. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Ross Geller : Come on Rach, you can't even eat alone in a restaurant. Rachel Green : What?!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their pregnancy and whether or not they should get married. Ross insists that he will be there for her throughout the pregnancy and after the baby is born, but Rachel is hesitant to marry him without being in love."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm just saying if you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself? Rachel Green : I can too eat by myself! Ross Geller : When have you ever? Rachel Green : When certain people leave the table and I am not finished! Ross Geller : Well certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup! Rachel Green : Oh please, you inhale your food! Ross Geller : I grew up with Monica! If you didn't eat fast you didn't eat!! Dr. Long : Am I interrupting? Rachel Green : Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father. Ross Geller : But not the husband, because evidently she can do this alone.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about whether or not she can eat by herself, with Ross expressing skepticism due to her past behavior of not finishing meals when others leave the table. Dr. Long interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Long : Huh. Nice to meet you. I'll get started on this. Ross Geller : I don't know why you can't admit that you need me. Rachel Green : I do need you! I need you to stand near my head! Dr. Long : Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Rachel Green : Wow. There it is, I see it. Dr. Long : Congratulations. I'll give you two a minute. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Thank you. Ross Geller : Pretty amazing huh?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find out they are having a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't see it! Ross Geller : What? What?! Rachel Green : I can't see it! Ross Geller : You-you just said that you did! Rachel Green : I know, I lied! I didn't want her to think I was a terrible mother! I can't even see my own baby! Ross Geller : Oh sure, come here! Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, it's-it's-it's, it's right there . Rachel Green : Oh. Oh, it's beautiful. I see it now. Ross Geller : Do you really? Rachel Green : No, I don't see it! Ross Geller : Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?", "summary": "Rachel lies about being able to see her baby during a conversation with Ross, then later admits she can't see it. Ross tries to help her see it by pointing to a small object that resembles a peanut."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Sweetie that's it. Rachel Green : That's it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you. Ross Geller : You're welcome. Rachel Green : Wow! I can't believe that's our baby. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's our baby. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! So how was the doctor? Rachel Green : Oh, everything went great.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find out they are having a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Good. Ross Geller : Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : I don't see the baby. Where is it? Rachel Green : Oh no, I know I couldn't see it either at first, but it's right umm... Ross, I lost it again. Ross Geller : Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her. Chandler Bing : Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I can't wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together. Monica Geller : You're really sticking with the shell necklace huh? Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You're back!", "summary": "Ross shows a picture of his uterus to the group, who are shocked and confused. Rachel reveals that she can't find the baby, and Chandler expresses his love for Monica before they enter the operating room."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hi sweetie! Phoebe Buffay : Come on in! Phoebe Buffay : So how was the honeymoon? Monica Geller : Oh, so much fun. But the best part is, we met this incredible couple on the way back. Phoebe Buffay : That was the best part? Good honeymooning tiger. Monica Geller : No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too! Chandler Bing : They're terrific, and they live right here in the city. Monica Geller : Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, we're just kinda excited because we finally have a couple to hang out with. Monica Geller : I know.", "summary": "* Monica and Phoebe discuss their honeymoons\n* Monica meets an interesting couple on her way back from her honeymoon\n* The group wants to call them to hang out"}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : A couple? Like two people? Like one , two people? Monica Geller : This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! Hi Greg, I'm Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg. Chandler Bing : Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance... Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Why don't you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here? Chandler Bing : We really...didn't get a chance to... Phoebe Buffay : You have got to be kidding me! Monica Geller : We didn't get anything for anyone. Joey Tribbiani : Hm-mm! Yeah nice necklace! Monica Geller : That you can have.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are at a store with their friends Chandler and Joey when they meet Greg and Jenny, a couple. The group exchanges pleasantries before Monica reveals that Greg and Jenny are in a relationship. Chandler tries to defend them, but Joey is uninterested and wants them to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Ross Geller : Hello! Rachel Green : Welcome home. Ross Geller : So, how was the honeymoon? Monica Geller : It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean you're having a baby! Rachel Green : Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture! Monica Geller : Oh great! Chandler Bing : Ross! It's got your wavy black lines! Monica Geller : All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us y'know how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?", "summary": "Ross finds out Rachel is pregnant and they show each other their respective sonogram pictures. Monica asks for details about how Ross got Rachel pregnant, including how many times it happened and when it occurred."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Monica! That's not right! Start with where. Rachel Green : Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there 'cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey. Joey Tribbiani : You're welcome buddy. Ross Geller : Yeah, thanks. Rachel Green : And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me. Ross Geller : Umm that's...that's a little misleading. Rachel Green : What is? Ross Geller : The lie you just told. Rachel Green : That-that you came on to me? Ross Geller : There's the one!", "summary": "Ross comes on to Rachel after she gets home from work, but he insists it was a misunderstanding."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : But you did! I mean, let's be honest. Ross Geller : Yes let's. Y'know what? Uh, it's-it's not important. What is important is that, is that we're having a baby. And it's not-Doesn't matter who came on to who. Joey Tribbiani : Whom. That's right. Rachel Green : You know you kissed me first. Ross Geller : What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place! Rachel Green : I was sending you signals? Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. Ross Geller : Y'know what?! It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter what you believe! What matters is what happened! Rachel Green : Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, 'cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about who initiated their kiss. Ross claims Rachel was sending him signals, while Rachel insists she didn't send any signals and Ross just happened to kiss her. The conversation ends with Rachel wondering if she is accidentally sending Ross signals in the present moment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Y'know what? Y'know what? Rachel, just-just drop it. Rachel Green : No please, show me how I begged you! Ross Geller : I can show you, I have it on videotape! It's an expression. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe he taped the two of them having sex! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. Such a rookie mistake. Chandler Bing : Y'know who has a great video camera? Phoebe Buffay : Greg and Jenny? Monica Geller : Do you still wanna call 'em? I wanna call 'em. Chandler Bing : Let's call 'em. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!", "summary": "Ross tapes Rachel having sex without her knowledge or consent, and the group discovers the recording."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hello? Eighth street deli? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin' to that place. Monica Geller : Uh sorry, wrong number. Chandler Bing : Here you go. Monica Geller : Hello? It's the deli again! Joey Tribbiani : All right! I'll have a sandwich! Monica Geller : I don't think this number's right! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : You got fake numbered. Monica Geller : What?! People don't do that!", "summary": "Monica gets a wrong number call from Joey, who warns her about a deli with food poisoning. Chandler picks up the call and reveals that it's a fake number."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh I think we do. Monica Geller : They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that? Chandler Bing : I don't know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions. Monica Geller : And you've never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Don't worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, I don't want Greg and Jenny's rejects. Ross Geller : Rachel won't talk to me! She won't even open the door! Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert! Ross Geller : Okay, listen I am not a pervert! Phoebe Buffay : That's like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler were given a fake phone number by someone. Joey and Phoebe are still together despite Monica and Chandler's efforts to split them up."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, here's what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing. Joey Tribbiani : Personal thing? What personal thing? I don't know. Ross Geller : About...about sex? That I hadn't had sex in months? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I knew what you were talkin' about. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something I'm, I'm really uncomfortable talking about. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom? Ross Geller : I actually had a topic in mind! I'm, I'm kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, for like months?", "summary": "Ross confides in Joey about his sexual dry spell and lack of intimacy with his partner."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Five to be lying, six. Joey Tribbiani : Six months? Whoa that's rough. Ross Geller : Well, I mean it's not all bad. I'm learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky. Joey Tribbiani : The sky's blue Ross and I had sex yesterday! Ross Geller : Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okay-I'm scared for my health! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay. Umm...Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. It's this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; they're like putty. Ross Geller : Really? Well then tell it to me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Now you're gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story. Ross Geller : I'll try to control myself. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe...", "summary": "Ross and Joey are discussing their love lives. Ross reveals that he has a date tonight but is nervous about it going well, while Joey shares a romantic story he came up with in an attempt to impress women."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You were backpacking across Western Europe? Joey Tribbiani : Have a nice six more months Ross! Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Okay. I'm sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and? Joey Tribbiani : I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. It was dead silent. Gorgeous. And across the lake I saw...a beautiful woman...bathing herself...but she was crying... Ross Geller : Why? Kristen : Umm, this is great wine. Ross Geller : It's from France...In Europe...Western Europe. Y'know umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe. Kristen : Really? Ross Geller : Uh-hmm-Wait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona. Kristen : I studied for a year in Barcelona.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are talking about their travels. Ross reveals that he backpacked across Western Europe, including Barcelona, where he saw a beautiful woman bathing herself while crying. Joey shares his own experience of hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo outside Barcelona."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking... Kristen : I love hiking! Ross Geller : Oh that's great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo... Kristen : I think its Tibidabo. Ross Geller : Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! What are you doing here? How did your date go? Ross Geller : Great! I'm across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Look, if it didn't work it's because you didn't tell it right! Show me how you did it. Ross Geller : No! No, I don't...don't want to. Joey Tribbiani : How long since you've seen a girl naked?", "summary": "Ross goes on a hike and meets someone. He attempts to tell Kristen about his experience but is interrupted by Joey, who asks how his date went. Ross reveals that he is having sex with her across the street, much to Joey's surprise. Joey then tries to persuade Ross to share the story with him, but Ross declines."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I was backpacking across Western Europe. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not feeling it. Ross Geller : I was just outside Barcelona, hiking... Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No Ross! I'm not hot! Are you hot? Ross Geller : It's been six months! I'm always hot! Joey Tribbiani : Well you're not selling the story! It's like; it's like you don't believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when I'm preparing for an audition. Okay? I'll set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what you're doing wrong. Ross Geller : I'll try that. Joey Tribbiani : All right now... All right, you're all set up. You're good to go. Just hit record. All right? Ross Geller : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck.", "summary": "Ross was backpacking in Western Europe when he encountered Joey, who wasn't interested in his story. Ross shared that he had been hiking outside of Barcelona for six months and was always hot, but Joey didn't believe him. Joey offered to help Ross improve his storytelling by recording himself and analyzing the footage, and Ross agreed to give it a try."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Thanks. And-and hey Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Ross Geller : Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know I'll help you out. Joey Tribbiani : That means a lot to me man. Ross Geller : Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? Rachel! Rachel Green : Oh Ross! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Thank God you're here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself? Ross Geller : That's less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was. Ross Geller : So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. It kept rolling and recorded everything.", "summary": "Ross helps Joey with women problems and later forgets to turn off the camera while recording a private conversation with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, we're gonna need to see that tape. Monica Geller : Yeah, definitely. Ross Geller : What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? This is not fair to her. Let's just forget the tape! Ross Geller : Thank you. No! Joey Tribbiani : You're right. Ross Geller : Joey! No! Joey Tribbiani : Loud and clear! Monica Geller : I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, if they knew what they were doing they probably didn't give you real names either.", "summary": "Ross tries to use a tape to win back Rachel's forgiveness, but Joey and Monica disagree on how to handle it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they don't give out fake names. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you. Phoebe Buffay : Regina Philange. Chandler Bing : I still don't get it, we didn't do anything wrong. Monica Geller : I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes. Chandler Bing : I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke! Monica Geller : Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! Chandler Bing : Well maybe it was all of your questions. Monica Geller : What about my questions? Chandler Bing : The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!", "summary": "Monica and Joey exchange fake names, while Phoebe introduces herself as someone else entirely. Chandler doesn't understand why they're giving fake names and Monica defends him by saying he told too many jokes. The group continues to banter back and forth, with Chandler joking about the volume of Monica's questions and Monica responding that it was like flying with the Riddler."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Was that another joke? Chandler Bing : Was that another question? Rachel Green : Hey! Is Ross still here? Joey Tribbiani : Uh no Rach, he's gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake. Rachel Green : Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? Oh forget it! Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village. Ross Geller : Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didn't even watch it! Anyway, here. I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. Rachel Green : Thank you. What? You don't want to see this do you? Monica Geller : Hell yeah!!! Rachel Green : I am not gonna show you this! Phoebe Buffay : No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.", "summary": "Ross accidentally records a private moment with Rachel on his TV, and the group discusses what to do with the recording."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Forget it, she's destroying it. Phoebe Buffay : Okay fine! Fine! We'll just have to think of some other way to put the whole 'Who came onto who,' thing to rest! Come on now, think!! Ross Geller : Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? It's Rachel's tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story. Rachel Green : I wanna see it. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Clearly you don't want people to see this tape. Now I don't want people to see this tape either, but you so badly don't people to see it makes me want to see it. You see? Joey Tribbiani : Are we watchin' the tape or not?! Ross Geller : I don't want people to see it for your sake. Rachel Green : Ahh, I don't believe you. I think you don't want them to see you begging me. Ross Geller : Rachel, please...", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe argue over a tape that Ross made of Rachel, while Joey tries to intervene."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ah, a little preview! Ross Geller : Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes I'm gonna be saying... Rachel Green : Okay, here we go. Ross Geller : Hello! Can I get you anything? Joey Tribbiani : I'm so happy! Rachel Green : Oh, thank God you're here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself? Rachel Green : There I am. Phoebe Buffay : You're gonna get pregnant. Rachel Green : I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I... Ross Geller : You didn't do it?", "summary": "Rachel accidentally tells Monica that she sent out wedding invitations when she actually didn't."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I-I know-I had put them in...in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today. Monica Geller : Sweetie okay. It's okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. I'm fine. Rachel Green : Kinda hurtin' my hand though. Monica Geller : I know. Rachel Green : I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! \"Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!\" Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh...oh-oh-oh... Chandler Bing : Did you do it on our invitations?! Ross Geller : Not on the ones we sent out. Chandler Bing : So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! Rachel Green : Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged. Ross Geller : I know. Hey remember...remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost...", "summary": "Rachel accidentally spilled coffee on the wedding invitations she was supposed to deliver, causing them to be ruined. Monica is understanding but hurt by Rachel's mistake. Chandler jokes about the invitations being on the ones that were sent out, while Ross brings up a past memory of when they almost hooked up with someone at the same wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we would've gone through with it? Y'know, if we hadn't gotten caught. Do you think we would've done it? Ross Geller : I mean I...I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasn't sure if you wanted to. Rachel Green : Oh I wanted to. Ross Geller : So we...we both wanted to. Rachel Green : Interesting. Ross Geller : Yeah. Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, sure. Rachel Green : Okay, in about ten seconds you're gonna see him kiss me. Ross Geller : And in about five seconds you're gonna see why. Rachel Green : Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel almost had an affair, but were caught by Ross before they could act on it. They both wanted to, but ultimately decided it was for the best that they didn't go through with it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, get ready to see some beggin'! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you came on to Ross! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Now I'm so happy. Rachel Green : What are you talking about?! Monica Geller : You used the Europe story! Chandler Bing : That's the magic story you use when you wanna have sex! Rachel Green : How do you know about that story?! Joey Tribbiani : How do you know about that story?! Rachel Green : I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss Ross's interest in her, while Ross reveals he is happy about something. Monica references a past story about Europe, and Chandler uses a similar story for sexual purposes. Joey asks how both parties know about the same story."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Some guy!! Rachel Green : No. No, she told me his name was Ken Adams. Joey Tribbiani : Ken Adams!! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : So uh, apparently people are familiar with the Europe story? Ross Geller : Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesn't matter. I mean, I think it would've happened either way. I mean if you hadn't initiated it I-I-I know I would've. Rachel Green : It was an amazing night. Ross Geller : It was. It was an amazing night. Rachel Green : You think it looked amazing? Ross Geller : I uh... I don't know. I mean I...I honestly didn't watch it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss a sexual encounter between Ken Adams and another woman, with Ross admitting he would have initiated it regardless of who took the lead."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, me neither. Yet... Ross Geller : Uhhhhhh...that-that may be weird. Rachel Green : Yeah, it would be really weird. Ross Geller : Good luck. Rachel Green : Good luck to you. Ross Geller : Mind if I mute? Rachel Green : Oh please. Ross Geller : Oh, oh there go the clothes. Rachel Green : You are undressing very quickly. Ross Geller : Six months Rachel, six months.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss a potentially awkward situation involving them both being naked in front of each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ah. Oh. Ross Geller : Hey. We-we look...we look pretty good. Rachel Green : That's what I was gonna say. Ross Geller : Oh nice tan! Rachel Green : Thank you! I had just gone to the beach that weekend. Ross Geller : Ah.... Rachel Green : Have you been working out? Ross Geller : I have been working out. Rachel Green : Really? Wow, this is so much better than I... Rachel Green : Ohh! Ew!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross look good together and compliment each other's tan. Ross has been working out and Rachel notices a change in his appearance. They discuss their fitness routines and Rachel expresses disgust at Ross's recent weight loss."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh that's not pretty. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh! Ross Geller : No! Rachel Green : Oh God! Ross Geller : Oh no! Rachel Green : Oh, make it stop! Ross Geller : Oh no!! Rachel Green : Make it stop!! Ross Geller : No!! Rachel Green : Have to make it stop!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation where they both express their distress over something."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No!!! Monica Geller : Hello Greg? Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5... That is their old number! Jenny's been giving it out since they moved! Chandler Bing : Jenny! That is so Jenny! Monica Geller : Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? Okay, how about Sunday? Okay umm, the week after that? The week after that? Y'know what Greg? Y'know what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny can't see that then... January 15th? We'll see you then! Okay! Monica Geller : Okay, now this one is rare, this one is medium well! Now go-go-go! Hey Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey how was dinner?! Phoebe Buffay : Dinner was good! Monica Geller : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : I'm just saying hi! Now I'm gonna go!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to get together with a man named Greg, but Jenny has been giving out their old phone number. Monica is frustrated and tries to convince Greg to meet them despite Jenny's interference. Phoebe stops by to say hello before leaving again."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well hello there. Guy : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : I didn't see this on the menu. Monica Geller : Uh Tim? This is Phoebe. Phoebe this is Tim, my new sous chef. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, so you're Monica's boss? Tim : Actually she's my-my boss. Sous is French for under. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I sous stand. Monica Geller : Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto? Tim : Yeah.", "summary": "Monica hires a new sous chef, Phoebe, who doesn't speak French. Phoebe mistakes Tim's title as \"sous\" for a French word and misinterprets it. Monica orders food from Tim, including calamari and Caesar salad, and asks him to get her pesto."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh you...you made pesto? Tim : Yes I did. Phoebe Buffay : Would you say your pesto is the best-o? Tim : I...I-I don't know, but I would say it's pretty good-o. Monica Geller : All right, I still need a calamari and a Caesar salad. Tim : I like your necklace. Phoebe Buffay : I made it myself. Tim : You are so talented. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's no pesto. Monica Geller : All right, all right! Let's just cut to the chase, okay? You're single. You're single. He gets off work at eleven. She'll be waiting for your call. I'll give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.", "summary": "Monica wants to set Tim up with Phoebe, but he's hesitant and unsure of himself. Monica pressures him into giving her his number, promising to deliver a calamari and Caesar salad in exchange. Tim agrees, despite feeling uncomfortable with the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Franklin : Wow Bing! Burning the midnight oil. Chandler Bing : You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn? Mr. Franklin : You're a joker Bing. Chandler Bing : What's funny about that? Ross Geller : Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting so long. Chandler Bing : Hey that's okay. So, where do you want to go? Ross Geller : Oh ah, I think you know where I want to go. Chandler Bing : The Hard Rock Caf? Ross Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Again?!", "summary": "Chandler tries to access inappropriate content on the office computer network, while Ross and Mr. Franklin wait for him to finish."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah!! Ross Geller : I'm telling you, I like the food! Chandler Bing : You like the Purple Rain display! Hey Bob. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Hey Toby! Have a good night. Ross Geller : Did that guy just call you Toby? Chandler Bing : Yeah, he thinks that's my name. Ross Geller : Well, why don't you correct him? Chandler Bing : Oh it's been going on way to long now. Y'know, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didn't say anything. And then the next time he said, \"Hey Toby, do you want a donut?\" And I-I wanted a donut. And now it's five years later, the donut's gone and I'm still Toby. Ross Geller : Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him! Chandler Bing : No! That would be so awkward! Look-Besides, we work in different departments. He's on the sixth floor y'know? So he calls me Toby once in a while. What's the big deal? It could be worse, it's not like he's calling me Muriel.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are talking about food when Bob (Chandler's coworker) interrupts them. Bob mistakenly calls Chandler \"Toby,\" which has been happening frequently over the past five years. Chandler doesn't want to correct him, finding it more awkward than dealing with the mistake."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? It's not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!! Chandler Bing : Shh! It is a family name! Ross Geller : Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they? Joey's Co-Star : Drake, I've discovered the reason for all your headaches and memory loss. Dr. Drake Ramoray : What is it? Joey's Co-Star : Apparently your brain transplant was not entirely successful. It seems your body is rejecting Jessica's brain. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Is it serious? Joey's Co-Star : Not if we extract tissue from the original host body, synthesize antibodies, and introduce them into your system, which could stop it from rejecting the brain. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Well that sounds simple enough, let's just do that. Joey's Co-Star : We would, but when we went to exhume Jessica's body, it was gone.", "summary": "Ross accidentally discovers Chandler's full name, which includes his mother's middle name Muriel, leading to teasing from Ross and Joey. Meanwhile, Dr. Drake Ramoray and Joey's co-star discuss a brain transplant that went wrong, resulting in Jessica's body being missing."}
-{"dialogues": "Director : Cut! Very nice people! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, let me just get changed and we can go to dinner. Rachel Green : Well don't-What happened to Jessica's body?! Joey Tribbiani : I'm not telling, you'll have to see it on TV! Rachel Green : You don't know do you? Joey Tribbiani : No, couldn't care less. Joey's Co-Star : Hey good scene man. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you too! Joey's Co-Star : Alright. Joey Tribbiani : What? You weren't in it.", "summary": "Jessica's body is discovered, and Rachel is shocked and upset. Joey is unhelpful and uninterested in revealing what happened to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Oh sorry. Uh-uh, Kash? Kash : Yes? Joey Tribbiani : This is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Kash, Kash, Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi. Kash : Hey! How come I haven't seen you here before? Rachel Green : Well, Joey probably thinks I'll just embarrass him. Y'know, he thinks I'm some kind of a soap opera nut-Which I'm not! I'm not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. And uh, and that your-your dog's name is Wally. Well look at that, I'm just stroking your arm. Joey Tribbiani : Here we go! Here we go! Rachel Green : Oh, we're leaving. Bye Kash. Kash : Bye.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey meet a new person named Kash at the coffee shop. Joey tries to impress Kash with stories about Rachel, but Rachel interrupts and deflects the attention. They leave abruptly as Joey starts to go into too much detail."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Say hi to Wally. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh Monica! Monica Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I can't wait to get sous-neath him. Monica Geller : I...I have to fire him. Phoebe Buffay : But why?! Monica Geller : Because he's terrible! Okay, he's slow, he burns things, last night he lit my pastry chef on fire! Phoebe Buffay : Well maybe he was just nervous, y'know you can be very intimidating. And besides I've met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two. Monica Geller : Well, now she has no eyebrows, mission accomplished. Phoebe Buffay : But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please?", "summary": "Rachel greets Wally, while Phoebe shares her exciting experience with Tim, but Monica reveals that she had to fire him due to his poor performance. Despite Phoebe's pleas for mercy, Monica stands by her decision, citing instances of incompetence and danger caused by Tim's mistakes."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there! Phoebe Buffay : That's fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too. Monica Geller : I paid to have this done. Phoebe Buffay : Love it! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming. Rachel Green : I thought I was a complete idiot. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm with you. He even asked me if I thought you'd go out with him. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss Joey's behavior towards Rachel, with Monica making it clear that Joey is not allowed to light anyone else on fire. Phoebe agrees and thanks Monica for her help. Joey enters and compliments Rachel, who is clearly uncomfortable."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I said no. Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : What? I...I just figured since you're pregnant you're not gonna be seeing people. Rachel Green : Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant? Joey Tribbiani : I didn't tell him. I didn't know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people. Rachel Green : Good-good, don't tell him. Don't tell him. Just have him call me okay? Joey Tribbiani : Rach look, I really don't think that's such a great... Rachel Green : Okay, you go do it! I'll come back to that set! I'll meet more actors! I'll meet 'em all! Chandler Bing : Hey Bob. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Hey! How's my pal Toby doing today?", "summary": "Rachel is pregnant and Joey doesn't think she should be seeing people, but she insists on continuing to work. Joey is hesitant to tell Kash Ford about the pregnancy, but Rachel convinces him to have him call her. Meanwhile, Chandler's coworker Bob asks how Toby is doing."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : If I see him, I'll ask. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Toby! Mr. Franklin : Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Mr. Franklin : Oh then you know each other. Chandler Bing : We're on a semi-first name basis. Mr. Franklin : What do you think of adding him to our team? Chandler Bing : Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I don't know if he has what it takes. Mr. Franklin : Really? They love him down on six. Chandler Bing : But this is eleven. It's almost twice as hard up here.", "summary": "Bob from the office is considered for a position on the team at work, but Chandler has doubts about his abilities due to their different working styles and the challenges of working in a higher level position."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Franklin : Okay, I hear you loud and clear. Bob will stay put. Chandler Bing : I think it's best sir. Mr. Franklin : But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. I've got a stack of documents on my desk this high. Chandler Bing : Y'know what you should do, just toss 'em in the shedder and claim you never got 'em. Mr. Franklin : That's a good one. Chandler Bing : What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously around here?! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey. Okay, I gave him another chance, but Tim has got to go! Phoebe Buffay : But... Monica Geller : No! No-no! He is totally incompetent. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, \"Ha-ha! Gotcha!\"", "summary": "Mr. Franklin and Chandler Bing discuss work-related issues while Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller argue about Tim."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay, but you can't fire him today. Monica Geller : Why not?! Phoebe Buffay : Because I'm dumping him today. Monica Geller : What?! You said he was sweet! Phoebe Buffay : He is sweet. He's too sweet. He calls me all the time. \"So did-did you get home from work okay?\" \"Did-did you get out of the shower okay?\" Monica Geller : Just don't pick up your phone. Phoebe Buffay : Then he comes over! \"I'm so worried about you.\" Uck! Be a man! Monica Geller : What? So now I'm not allowed to fire him? Phoebe Buffay : You can't fire him and dump him the same day, he'll kill himself. Monica Geller : Okay well then, I'll fire him today and you go out with him for another week.", "summary": "Phoebe dumps her boyfriend after realizing he is overly attentive and calls her too many times a day, while Monica tries to help Phoebe by firing him instead but Phoebe refuses, citing that it would be cruel to fire him and dump him on the same day."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, I'll kill myself! Monica Geller : Okay well, then we'll both do it today and he'll just have to deal with it! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. But the question is who's gonna go first. 'Cause whoever goes second is the bitch. Monica Geller : What do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : Come on! The boss that fires a guy that's just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy that's just been fired, blond bitch! Monica Geller : I wanted to do this days ago so I think I should go first. Phoebe Buffay : All right, that makes sense. Ugh. But-Screw you I'm going first! Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Hey Toby, you got a sec? Chandler Bing : Sure, what's up? Bob (Chandler's coworker) : I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks I'm not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?", "summary": "Two friends are frustrated with their boss and decide to quit together. One wants to go first, but the other insists they should go in reverse order of who was dumped and fired. They argue about it until one decides to go first. Meanwhile, a coworker of Chandler's is transferred to another floor, but learns he isn't considered \"eleventh floor material.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why I'm not drinking on this date tonight. \"Umm, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm a Mormon,\" or \"I got so hammered last night I'm still a little drunk?\" Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : So, what do you want to do tonight? There's a Ukrainian film at the Angelica that's supposed to be very powerful. Interested? Joey Tribbiani : No. No. But I'll go see a normal person movie with ya. Ross Geller : Rach? You wanna come? Rachel Green : Oh no, I can't. I got a date. Ross Geller : A date? Rachel Green : Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you?", "summary": "Rachel has a date but doesn't want to drink because she is recovering from alcoholism and is also a Mormon. She suggests two excuses for why she can't drink, one of which is still drunk from last night. Ross offers to go see a Ukrainian film with Joey, who declines. Rachel reveals that she has a date but doesn't want to drink due to her religious beliefs and personal struggles."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Why no, it's the opposite of weird. It's-it's uh, regular. It's-it's uh, it's mundane. It's actually uh, a little dull. Joey Tribbiani : It's no Ukrainian film. Rachel Green : Yeah-Ooh! Earrings! Ross Geller : A date?! She's-she's got a date?! With who? Joey Tribbiani : I set her up with this actor on my show. Ross Geller : You set her up?! Joey Tribbiani : No Ross Geller : Joey what-what were you thinking?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was thinking that it'd probably be okay because Ross hasn't gone out with Rachel in five years! Ross Geller : Joey, I'm not worried about her! I'm worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this actor taking them?", "summary": "Ross is upset that Rachel has a date with an actor on Joey's show without consulting him, despite not having gone out with her in five years."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm an actor too! I'm not sure. I think they're taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island. Ross Geller : A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?! Joey Tribbiani : Are we talking about one of those big boats that carry cars that go like five miles an hour? Ross Geller : Why don't they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-that's a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! That's fun too! Whew!! Kash : Hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash. Kash : Hey. Ross Geller : Hi. I-I hear you're going on a ferry tonight. Kash : Yeah. Ross Geller : A bit of a daredevil are we?", "summary": "Ross is concerned about Joey and Kash going on a ferry, feeling it's too dangerous. Joey and Kash have a conversation while Ross listens in, with Ross expressing his worry about the ferry ride."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey guys do you think this is too slutty-Hi Kash! Kash : Hey Rachel! You ready to go? Rachel Green : Yeah! All right, I'll see you guys later. Ross Geller : Okay. Have a great time you guys. Rachel Green : Thank you. Kash : Thank you. Ross Geller : Yes it is too slutty! Tim : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Tim : Oh, I'm so glad you called. I feel like it's always me calling you. So, what's up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?", "summary": "Rachel and her friends go out, but Rachel is worried about wearing a revealing outfit. Ross criticizes her choice, leading to a disagreement."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It will be...in a minute. Listen, Tim you're a really great guy. Tim : It's because I'm with you. Phoebe Buffay : Aw. I'm just-I'm in a place in my life right now where I...I... Tim : Whoops. Sorry. This just in. Oh, it's 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. Phoebe Buffay : Oh-oh no she doesn't! I know what that is. You can stay. Tim : Awww, I'll miss you too Pheebs. And I will be holding you, right here. Joey Tribbiani : So what movie do you want to see-And not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books. Ross Geller : Books? Joey Tribbiani : All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but it's like enough! Ross Geller : Well, I tell you what. Why don't we uh, why don't we just stay here? Let's not see a movie, we'll just hang.", "summary": "Phoebe and Tim are having a conversation when Tim receives an emergency call from Monica, who needs him at the restaurant. Phoebe tries to convince Tim to stay and watch a movie with her instead, but he has to leave. Joey and Ross also join in the conversation and express their frustration with reading, preferring to spend time together rather than watching a movie."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date? Ross Geller : Hey, if that's what you want to do I'm not gonna say no. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! What is going on?! Ross Geller : I just...I have to find out how it went. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Ross Geller : This guy could be my baby's stepfather! Joey Tribbiani : They go on one date and you're worried about them getting married?! He's not you! Ross Geller : I just-I-I can't believe she's-she's dating?! Joey Tribbiani : Well Ross, what did you think she was gonna do? Ross Geller : I don't know! I guess I just can't believe any of this is happening.", "summary": "Ross is worried about Rachel dating someone after her breakup with him, while Joey doesn't understand why Ross cares so much."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? Ross Geller : It's just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susan's, it's like-It breaks my heart a little. I mean I've always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Y'know? Maybe fight over the science section. Joey Tribbiani : That's a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that! Ross Geller : No! No I can't. I mean Rachel's out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel? Ross Geller : It used to be. Now she doesn't really have a face. Smokin' body though. Joey Tribbiani : Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isn't Rachel. Ross Geller : No but ahh! How much easier would it be if it were? Joey Tribbiani : I know, but I don't think that's what she wants. Ross Geller : No, it's not what I want either. I mean I-I can't force myself to fall in love with her again now.", "summary": "Ross wants a family like his friends have, but he can't seem to find a wife and kids of his own. He gets emotional when he has to drop off his son Ben at his ex-wife Rachel's house, as he misses being a father figure in his child's life. Joey tries to console him by pointing out that he can still have a family with someone else, but Ross is unsure if he can move on from Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That's okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? It's not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what there's gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I tell you what. Let's you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on! Ross Geller : We can still catch that Ukrainian film. Joey Tribbiani : No, I said fun! Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Hey Toby! Chandler Bing : Hey Bobby. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : It's Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bing's office is? Chandler Bing : Uhh yeah. Yeah, it's right, right down there. Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why? Bob (Chandler's coworker) : I want to talk to that bastard, see what his problem is.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are discussing a new picture for Ross's baby shower, while Chandler tries to avoid Bob (Chandler's coworker) who wants to confront him about something."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay Bob listen uhh, I'm the reason you didn't get the job up here. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Toby don't. Chandler Bing : Bob! Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Toby! I'm not gonna let you cover for him. Anything you say right now will just get me more upset with Chandler! Chandler Bing : Well that puts me in a difficult position. Monica Geller : Hey. Tim : I got your page, is everything okay? Monica Geller : Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe? Tim : Oh it's great! It's great! Thank you so much for introducing us! Monica Geller : Oh my pleasure. Okay, I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Phoebe!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Chandler Bing and his coworker Bob, who are discussing a job opportunity that Bob did not get. Bob is upset with Chandler and accuses him of sabotaging his chances. Monica Geller enters the conversation and asks about Phoebe, before revealing some bad news."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Monica! Monica Geller : You're fired! Phoebe Buffay : I'm breaking up with you! Tim : What? Phoebe Buffay : I'm, I'm breaking up with you. Monica Geller : You're fired. Tim : Why? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm just-I'm...I'm just not ready for a relationship right now. Monica Geller : Yeah and-and I'm sorry too. But, well I just-I like things done a certain way and the chemistry's just not right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's good, the chemistry thing for us too.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica have a confrontation over their relationship, with Monica ending things and Phoebe expressing her own reluctance to enter into a romantic partnership. Tim is caught in the middle and tries to mediate, but ultimately both women decide that they are not ready for a relationship at this time."}
-{"dialogues": "Tim : Wow! Umm, okay. Umm... I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, it's only because I think you're so amazing. And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because I-you're the most talented chef I've ever worked for. Anyway... Monica Geller : Tim wait! Tim : Yeah? Monica Geller : Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-there's a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again. Tim : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah. Tim : Thank you so much! 'Cause I-I know I can do better! Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : And Tim I just wanna say, good luck here. Ross Geller : Hello.", "summary": "Tim is nervous about working for Monica as a chef and comes on too strong. Monica acknowledges his enthusiasm but also mentions there is a learning curve to this new job. Tim thanks her for giving him the opportunity and expresses his determination to do better. Phoebe offers good luck, while Ross enters the scene unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Well, how was the date? Rachel Green : Well I'm alone and I just bought fifteen dollars worth of candy bars, what do you think? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. What happened? Rachel Green : I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant. Ross Geller : Ah, he didn't uh, take it so well? Rachel Green : Well better than you, but y'know still not what you want. Ross Geller : Oh? Rachel Green : He got all weird and sputtery and then he said uh, \"Yeah, I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch.\" Ross Geller : He sounds swell.", "summary": "Rachel tells Ross she's pregnant, but the guy doesn't take it well and makes an insensitive comment about hemorrhoids."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Doesn't he? Ross Geller : Hey, wanna...wanna a little cheering up? Rachel Green : Yes. Ross Geller : Sit down. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Guess whose middle name is Muriel. Rachel Green : Chandler M. Bing? Ross Geller : Yeah-ha! Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I'm sorry about your date.", "summary": "Ross reveals that Chandler's middle name is Muriel, causing Rachel to laugh and apologize for her previous date."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh it's all right. I'm guess I'm just done with the whole dating thing. It's one more thing in my life that's suddenly completely different. This is hard. Ross Geller : Yeah I know. On the other hand in um, in about seven months you're gonna have something that you're gonna love more than any guy you've ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea. Rachel Green : Thanks sweetie. Ross Geller : You wanna, you wanna grab some coffee? Rachel Green : Oh no, I think I'm gonna go home and eat ten candy bars. Ross Geller : Hey, I thought I cheered you up. Rachel Green : Oh you did, there are twenty in here. Ross Geller : Right. Good night. Rachel Green : Good night. Mona : Ross?", "summary": "Ross tries to comfort Rachel after she says she's done with dating, but he ends up making her feel worse by bringing up her baby. They almost grab coffee together, but Rachel decides to go home and eat candy instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah? Mona : Hey it's Mona! From the wedding. Ross Geller : Oh hi! Mona : Hi! Ross Geller : Wow! Uh...how are you? Mona : I'm good except umm, you still owe me a dance. Ross Geller : Oh that's right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film? Mona : Oh you're serious. Sure! Ross Geller : Great! Well umm... Mona : I think I might need one more cup of coffee.", "summary": "Ross owes Mona a dance from a wedding and she reminds him at a chance encounter. They discuss a Ukrainian film and Mona mentions needing another cup of coffee."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Sure! Uh, let me get it for ya. Mona : Okay. Chandler Bing : Bob. Bob! Bob!!! What the hell are you doing?! Bob (Chandler's coworker) : I just found out this is Chandler's office! Come on Toby, give me a hand! Monica Geller : Hey you guys? Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : I know it's last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Monica Geller : And everybody has to wear costumes. Come on! It'll be fun! Ross Geller : Well, I'll-I'll be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so...", "summary": "Ross and Monica plan a Halloween party, while Chandler's coworker Bob causes chaos in his office."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Please tell me you're not gonna dress up like a dinosaur. Ross Geller : Not two years in a row. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'll come to the party but I'm not dressing up. Monica Geller : You have to! Joey Tribbiani : No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone you're not... Chandler Bing : You're an actor! Monica Geller : So Ross, are you gonna bring Mona? Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah, I think I will. Joey Tribbiani : That hot girl from their wedding? Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross disagree on Halloween costumes, while Joey refuses to dress up. Monica insists that everyone must wear costumes, but Chandler sees it as stupid. Meanwhile, Ross plans to bring his friend Mona to the party."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huh-Ooh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre-No-no-no! Slutty Leatherface. Phoebe Buffay : Now wasn't Joey hitting on her at the wedding too? Ross Geller : That's right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. Please don't take her from me. Phoebe Buffay : Ursula! Wait! Err-err, it's me! Phoebe! Ursula Buffay : Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a second! So, what's new with you? Ursula Buffay : Umm, nothing. I mean, I'm getting married next week. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ursula Buffay : Yeah! Yeah, it's gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. His. Phoebe Buffay : Huh. Okay. Well, I'm really happy for you.", "summary": "A conversation about potential costume ideas for a bikini model, slutty nurse, or sexy cheerleader at a wedding. Joey hits on a woman at the wedding, while Ross tries to defend his right to the woman. The conversation switches to another person, Ursula, who is getting married next week and is happy about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ursula Buffay : Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess that'd be okay. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Ursula Buffay : Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Okay. Umm, y'know, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy you're marrying. Ursula Buffay : Huh. Well, I'm supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. I'm supposed to be working right now, so who cares. Phoebe Buffay : By the way, it's a costume party. Ursula Buffay : Oh! Okay, so that's why you're... Phoebe Buffay : No. But thanks. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Wait! You're supposed to wear a costume!", "summary": "Ursula agrees to let Phoebe be her sister for the day, and Phoebe invites Ursula to a Halloween party at her old apartment. Rachel joins the conversation and Monica reminds everyone that it's a costume party."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she won't be able to fit into it. Monica Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Ahh! Monica Geller : I'm Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when you're too big for it. Rachel Green : Okay. Kids : Trick or treat! Rachel Green : Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Y'know, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts. Kids : Trick or treat!! Rachel Green : Just a minute!!! Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. Witch : Thank you.", "summary": "Rachel wants to wear a dress she spent money on but won't fit anymore, while Monica wants to borrow it. Rachel becomes pregnant and has strong maternal instincts, and kids come trick-or-treating."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And you are a very funny clown. Clown : Thank you. Rachel Green : And you are so in style right now. Y'know, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I don't suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but... Cowgirl : Can I just have the candy? Rachel Green : Yeah. Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again. Monica Geller : So we do Supergirl. Phoebe Buffay : No, it's me. Phoebe! Chandler Bing : Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume... Rachel Green : Oh, you did this to him?", "summary": "Rachel works at Ralph Lauren and talks about the equestrian theme in the fall line. Cowgirl asks for candy. Phoebe appears on the cover of British Vogue. Monica gets Chandler a costume. Rachel reveals that Monica got him the costume."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What?! I thought he'd love it! His favorite kid's book was the Velveteen Rabbit! Chandler Bing : The Velveteen Rabbit was brown and white! Monica Geller : Well, it was either a pink bunny or no bunny at all. Chandler Bing : No bunny at all!! Always no bunny at all!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : You didn't dress up either?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes I did! I'm Chandler. Dude, what happened? Chandler Bing : How is that me? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I'm Chandler Phoebe Buffay : That is so you!", "summary": "The Velveteen Rabbit was not the only bunny at the costume party, leading to confusion and disagreements among the guests."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : When have I ever done that?! Joey Tribbiani : When have I ever done that?! Girl : Trick or treat! Rachel Green : Oh! Well you're just the prettiest ballerina I've ever seen. Ballerina : Thank you. Rachel Green : Oh wow! That deserves another piece of candy. Ballerina : Thank you. Rachel Green : Well, I have to say that earns tutu pieces of candy. Ballerina : I love you! Rachel Green : Ohh... Oh, honey here. Take it all. Monica! We need more candy?", "summary": "Rachel compliments a ballerina's performance and gives her candy, while Joey and Chandler question each other about when they have done something similar."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What?! There's only been like four kids. Rachel Green : Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything. Phoebe Buffay : No wonder your pregnant. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey. Monica Geller : What are you supposed to be? Ross Geller : Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? Well, I'm a potato or a...spud. And these are my antennae. So Sputnik, becomes... Spud-nik. Spudnik! Chandler Bing : Wow! I don't have the worst costume anymore! Joey Tribbiani : Hey all right, Ross came as doody. Ross Geller : No, I-I'm not doody.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss a pregnant woman, while Phoebe comments on Monica's weight gain. Ross enters dressed as \"Spudnik,\" a play on the Russian satellite Sputnik, with antennae made of potatoes. Chandler and Joey make jokes about their costumes."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, space doody! Eric : Aren't you gonna give me a kiss? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I will. But right after you tell me who the hell you are. Eric : Ursula? Phoebe Buffay : Ursula's fiance? Eric : Oh my God, you're the sister! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Eric : Okay, I just slapped my future sister-in-law's ass. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Eric : I'm an idiot. Uh, is your mother here? Maybe I can give her a little slap on the butt.", "summary": "Eric slaps Phoebe's fianc\u00e9e Ursula's sister by mistake, then tries to make things right by giving Phoebe's mother a friendly pat on the rear."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : My mother killed herself. Eric : She, now I knew that and...now I'm sweating. Look at me, I'm really sweating-Now I'm saying, \"Look at me,\" I'm getting even sweatier. I think I probably should go. Phoebe Buffay : No-no! That's okay, we'll just start over. Okay? Hi! I'm Phoebe. Eric : Eric. Phoebe Buffay : Why are you looking at me like that? Eric : 'Cause the sweat's getting in my eyes and its burning. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. So, what are you? Eric : I don't think they have a name for it. It's just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy. Phoebe Buffay : No I-I meant your costume. Eric : Oh umm, I'm the solar system. Yeah, my students helped me make it-I teach the second grade.", "summary": "Mother died by suicide. Eric gets nervous and sweats excessively upon hearing this information. Phoebe tries to comfort him but he becomes embarrassed and awkwardly changes the subject to his costume, which he teaches second-graders how to make."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I love the second grade! Eric : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! It's so much better than first grade when you don't know what's going on and definitely better than third grade. Y'know with all the politics and mind games. Eric : So what do you do? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I'm a masseuse...by day. Eric : Y'know you don't have to stand here with me, believe me... Phoebe Buffay : No I'm having fun. I'm really-And I'm really-really excited for you and Ursula. Eric : Oh I feel very lucky, she's great. I think she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Monica Geller : Hey Joey?", "summary": "Phoebe loves the second grade, better than first and third grades. She is a masseuse by day. Eric stands with her, but she says he doesn't have to. Phoebe and Eric talk about Ursula, who Eric thinks is beautiful. Monica joins and greets Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : You read comic books right? Joey Tribbiani : Exclusively. Monica Geller : Who do you think would win in a fight, Catwoman or Supergirl? Joey Tribbiani : Catwoman, hands down. Monica Geller : Yeah... Joey Tribbiani : But between you and Phoebe, I'd have to give the edge to Phoebe. Monica Geller : What?! Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Are you kiddin'? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, she's got this crazy temper. She-She's not standing right behind me is she? Monica Geller : No you're fine. All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?", "summary": "Monica and Joey discuss comic books and hypothetical fights between characters from them. Monica wonders who would win in a fight between Catwoman and Supergirl, and Joey says without hesitation that Catwoman would win. However, when it comes to a hypothetical fight between Phoebe and Rachel, Joey thinks Phoebe would come out on top due to her street smarts and temper."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm not sure. Monica Geller : What?! Come on I am tough! Punch me right here! As hard as you can! Joey Tribbiani : Will you relax?! What are you taking this so seriously for? It doesn't matter. Monica Geller : Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, y'know, Ross or Chandler could beat you up? Joey Tribbiani : I would say, \"Woman, please!\" Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ursula's fiance is really sweet! He's a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Y'know normally y'know, I don't like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up! Monica Geller : Oh my God, Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : You're getting a crush on your sister's fiance. Phoebe Buffay : No I'm not! You are!", "summary": "Joey and Monica have a disagreement over whether or not Joey should take something seriously. Meanwhile, Phoebe meets Ursula's fianc\u00e9 and finds herself attracted to him despite initially being repelled by his sweatiness."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Here comes the temper. Girl : Trick or treat! Rachel Green : Hi! Y'know what honey, we're actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but I'm out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check? Girl : Okay! Rachel Green : Okay, what's your name? Girl : Lelani Mayolanofavich. Rachel Green : Okay, I'm just gonna write this out to cash. Mona : Hi! Rachel Green : Hey Mona! Chandler Bing : Oh! Hi!", "summary": "A woman named Lelani Mayolanofavich goes trick-or-treating with her friends Joey Tribbiani and Rachel Green. However, they realize they are out of candy and money, so Rachel offers to write Lelani a check."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : Hi! Chandler Bing : Joey's gonna be thrilled! He was hoping you'd come by as a slutty nurse. Mona : Umm, actually I'm just a nurse. Chandler Bing : You'd think that would embarrass me, but you see I'm maxed out. Ross Geller : Hey! Mona : Hi! Ross Geller : You made it! Mona : Wait-wait! You're umm, you're a potato... Ross Geller : Well, I'm a spud... Mona : And the antennae...Oh my God you're Spudnik!", "summary": "Mona and Chandler have a conversation about Joey's hopes for her visit as a \"slutty nurse.\" Mona clarifies that she is just a regular nurse. Ross enters and greets them, and Mona mistakes him for a potato (Spudnik)."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes! Chandler Bing : Marry her. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here's a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler. Monica Geller : I can't answer that! Chandler's my husband. Joey Tribbiani : So Ross? Monica Geller : Yeah. Eric : Hey beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Hello handsome. Oh God. Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet? Eric : Two weeks ago. Phoebe Buffay : Two weeks? That's it?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over who would win in a fight between them. Monica can't answer as Chandler is her husband. Joey suggests Ross would win. Phoebe meets Eric two weeks ago and is surprised by how quickly they met."}
-{"dialogues": "Eric : Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and it's not like me to do something so impulsive, but she's just so perfect, and we have so much in common. Phoebe Buffay : Oh really? Eric : We're both teachers. Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Eric : And we were both in the Peace Corps. Phoebe Buffay : Peace Corps, really? Eric : In fact when we were building houses in Uruguay, we were, we were just two towns apart and we never met. Ursula Buffay : Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. Shall we get me really drunk? Eric : Sure. Chandler Bing : Howdy doody.", "summary": "Eric meets someone he connects with, despite it being impulsive and out of character for him. They share similar experiences as teachers and were both in the Peace Corps. However, they never met while building houses in Uruguay, despite living near each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's funny. Yeah. Y'know you're the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear. Chandler Bing : Oh relax man, relax. You're looking a little flushed. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question. Chandler Bing : What question? Joey Tribbiani : Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross? Chandler Bing : There's no question. Joey Tribbiani : So you think Ross too? Chandler Bing : You picked Ross?! Monica Geller : Ross is really strong! Okay, he's the strongest out of all three of you! Except for Joey. Chandler Bing : I cannot believe you didn't pick me.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are at a party in pink bunny costumes given to them by their wives. Monica and Joey discuss who would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler. Monica says Ross is the strongest, except for Joey. Chandler is surprised that Joey didn't pick him as the winner."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Uh, in her defense, she's right. I am stronger. I would destroy you. Chandler Bing : Oh really?! You think you're stronger? Why don't you prove it? Ross Geller : Oh I'll prove it! I'll prove it like a theorem!! Monica Geller : Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! Now listen, no one's gonna fight in this apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica! People came to see a fight, let's give 'em what they came for! Mona : Hey, you guys could arm wrestle. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse. Chandler Bing : You're going down. Ross Geller : Oh yeah? You're going further down! Downtown! Joey Tribbiani : Seriously guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler engage in a hilarious argument over who is stronger, with Ross claiming he could defeat Chandler in a fight. Monica intervenes to stop them from fighting, but Joey suggests they settle their differences through an arm wrestling match."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh Gunther! You brought candy! Thank you so much for picking this up! You are so sweet. Gunther : Really? Rachel Green : Honey, someday you are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world. Kid : Trick or treat! Rachel Green : Gotta go! Hi! Wow! There you go! Boy In The Cape : My friend Lewis told me you were giving out money. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, we were but umm, now we've got candy. Boy In The Cape : I'd rather have the money. Rachel Green : Well, that-that's not your choice. Happy Halloween! Boy In The Cape : This isn't fair.", "summary": "Rachel Green thanked Gunther for bringing candy and called him sweet. A child said \"Trick or treat!\" and Rachel had to go. Another child asked if she was giving out money, but Rachel said no and gave them candy instead. The child was unhappy with the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well is it fair that all you did was put on a cape and I gotta give you free stuff? Boy In The Cape : Shut up! Rachel Green : You shut up! Boy In The Cape : You can't tell me to shut up! Rachel Green : Uh, I think I just did. And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up! Joey Tribbiani : Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah I know-I'm good-I got it! Now wait a minute, I've got one more thing I have to say to you...oh right! Shut up! Boy In The Cape : You're a mean old woman. Rachel Green : No! Wait no! Shut up-I mean don't cry! Let me get my checkbook! Monica Geller : Look honey, you don't have to do this, okay? It's the strength you have inside that means the most to me. You're loyal, you're honest, and you have integrity! That's the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!", "summary": "Rachel Green and a boy in a cape argue over her giving him free things. Joey Tribbiani tries to intervene but is unsuccessful. Monica Geller enters and tells Rachel that she values her inner strength and loyalty above all else in a partner."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That means nothing to me. Come on! Phoebe Buffay : Hi liar! Ursula Buffay : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know the only reason he's marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true. Ursula Buffay : Well they could be true. Phoebe Buffay : But they're not! Ursula Buffay : Yeah, it's a fine line huh? Phoebe Buffay : Why are you lying to him? Ursula Buffay : I don't know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun. Eric : Honey?", "summary": "Phoebe suspects that Chandler is marrying Ursula because he thinks she is confident and successful, but in reality, Ursula is lying about her accomplishments. Phoebe confronts Ursula, who admits to lying but claims it was fun."}
-{"dialogues": "Ursula Buffay : It's a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now! Eric : She's helped so many people to quit smoking. Ursula Buffay : Y'know, we'd really better get going. Eric : Oh right, you've got a church group meeting tonight. Ursula Buffay : Right. Eric : Well, it was nice meeting you. Phoebe Buffay : You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs come on! Bunny vs. Doody! We're waiting! Okay. Okay guys, one match, winner take all. Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get? Ross Geller : Pride. Chandler Bing : And dignity.", "summary": "Ursula Buffay wants Eric to quit smoking, but he mentions that Phoebe Buffay has helped many people quit. Ursula and Eric then part ways, with Ursula going to a church group meeting. Meanwhile, Joey Tribbiani and Phoebe Buffay engage in a friendly competition, with the winner receiving pride and dignity."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, if you say so. All right, ready? Set! Go! Mona : Wow! They're both really strong. Joey Tribbiani : Or equally weak. Monica Geller : Oh God! Phoebe Buffay : Hmm? Monica Geller : Chandler's making his sex face. Ross Geller : So, you gettin' tired? Chandler Bing : Nope! I can do this all day. Ross Geller : Yeah? Me too. Gettin' a little tired though. Chandler Bing : God, I'm exhausted.", "summary": "Monica and Joey are admiring each other's strength during a workout session, while Mona watches in amazement. Phoebe makes a comment about Chandler's \"sex face,\" which Ross finds amusing. As they continue to exercise, Chandler and Ross reveal that they are both struggling to keep going due to exhaustion."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Mona's standing right over there. Oh God, she's talking to Joey! You gotta let me win! Chandler Bing : No way! If anything you've gotta let me win! My wife thinks I'm a wimp! Ross Geller : Hey, at least you have a wife! I-I keep getting divorces and knockin' people up! And I'm dressed as doody. Chandler Bing : You're Spudnik. Ross Geller : Come on, who are we kidding? I'm doody. Please? She's watchin'. Chandler Bing : Fine. Oh no! Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Mona : Yay! My hero! Joey Tribbiani : You're a weird lady. Eric : Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are competing in a game of chance, with Ross dressed as \"doody\" and Chandler's wife thinking he's a wimp. Mona and Joey enter the scene, with Mona congratulating Ross and Joey insulting her. Ursula returns, revealing that she left her purse behind."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Eric : What a relief. It has all the numbers of the people in her prayer chain. Phoebe Buffay : Sure it does. Yeah, yeah. Eric : Well, I guess I'll see you at the wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Umm listen, I don't think...I don't think I'm gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world. Eric : I think we'll be okay. Besides it's so perfect and she's been saving herself for me. Phoebe Buffay : Okay I can't let you do this! She's lying to you. Eric : What? Phoebe Buffay : She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. Okay. Okay. Yeah-Not a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. Okay, here's the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, here's her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was? Eric : She told me she was 25.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay reveals that the woman Eric is engaged to is not who she claims to be, and Phoebe has evidence to prove it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I almost don't want to show this. Just remember I'm a minute younger. Eric : I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! She's not a teacher. There's not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies. Phoebe Buffay : No. You're not, you're not stupid. Eric : I'm not smart. I just wanted so much to...be impulsive once. To be romantic. Phoebe Buffay : That's good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just...you did it with the wrong person. What? Eric : It's just so weird, two people look so much alike, and so different. Ursula Buffay : Eric!! Let's go!! Eric : I'd better go, deal... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you should. Ursula Buffay : Hurry up I gotta pray!!", "summary": "Eric and Phoebe are almost in love but their romantic impulses lead them to the wrong person."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Well, I had to give the kid fifty bucks to stop crying. Joey Tribbiani : That's not so bad. Rachel Green : No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! You're good with kids. They're just crazy on Halloween. Y'know, they're all greedy and hopped up on sugar! Rachel Green : Really? You think that's all it is? Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas...and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime they're hungry or sleepy. Y'know, kids are tough. Good luck with that. Monica Geller : Look, I wanted to tell I'm-I'm sorry you lost. Chandler Bing : Listen, I've got a secret for ya. I let him win. Monica Geller : Is that a secret or a lie.", "summary": "Rachel had to give a kid fifty dollars to stop crying and also went to houses with him as his girlfriend. Joey thinks it's just Halloween-related craziness, but Rachel is not so sure. Monica apologizes for losing and Chandler reveals he let her win."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, I let him win-Ross! Ross Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Would you tell her I let you win please? Ross Geller : Oh. Yeah. Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandler's really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! Chandler Bing : I am strong! I'll show you! Monica Geller : Chandler please! Chandler Bing : Oh what's the matter? Are you scared? Monica Geller : Let's go big bunny! Chandler Bing : Okay. 1...2...3-Go! I'm gonna kill myself! Monica Geller : Hey.", "summary": "Chandler and Ross play a game of dodgeball, with Chandler letting Ross win. Monica joins in and Chandler tries to show off his strength, but ends up injuring himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You cleaned! Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works! Chandler Bing : Y'know uh, I didn't actually do this. Monica Geller : Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again? Chandler Bing : No, it wasn't you. Monica Geller : Well then who? Chandler Bing : I got a maid. Yay! Monica Geller : I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then... Chandler Bing : Uh honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control... Monica Geller : Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!", "summary": "Chandler hires a maid to clean his apartment without telling Monica. When she discovers this, she becomes jealous and accuses him of having a mistress."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look, she's really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges. Monica Geller : Did she really say that? Chandler Bing : Yes, I distinctly remember 'cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay? Monica Geller : Fine, I can do it. Whew. Chandler Bing : What's the matter? Monica Geller : Well, usually when I'm this anxious, I clean! Phoebe Buffay : Who's cell phone is that? It's just so annoying; everywhere you go. Ross Geller : I think it's coming from your bag. Phoebe Buffay : I never get calls!! Hello? Eric : Hi, it's Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursula's fiance.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are discussing a girl that Monica has brought to their home, with Chandler expressing enthusiasm for her and Monica being hesitant. Phoebe enters and mentions her frustration with receiving unwanted cell phone calls. Eric, from a previous Halloween party, then calls Phoebe's phone."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God Eric hi! Wait, how'd you get this number? Eric : Oh, I have a friend who's a cop and he got it for me. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! What an incredible violation-and wonderful surprise. Eric : Uh listen, I just-I thought you should know I broke up with Ursula. Phoebe Buffay : Oh you did? He did it! He did it! Rachel Green : Wow! What did he do? Phoebe Buffay : Shhh! I'm talking. Eric : Anyway, I was wondering if, you were the sort of person who...eats lunch. Phoebe Buffay : Are you asking me out? 'Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister. Eric : Yeah uh...okay. I'm-I'm sorry. Bye.", "summary": "Eric broke up with Ursula and asked Phoebe if she wanted to go out for lunch, despite recently breaking up with her sister Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No! Wait! I was just saying that so you'd think I was a good person. Fight for me. Eric : Uhh, I won't take no for an answer. Phoebe Buffay : Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours. Eric : Great! But wh-wh-How do you know where I live? Phoebe Buffay : I've got friends too. Okay, bye. Eric : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I'm going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I can't make lunch. Ross Geller : So apparently I'm available for lunch. Rachel Green : I can't. I'm busy. I'm apartment hunting. Ross Geller : You're moving?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay pretends to be a good person to trick Eric into fighting for her, but he refuses to take no for an answer. Phoebe agrees to meet him at his apartment in two hours, despite not knowing where he lives. When Eric asks how she knows his address, Phoebe reveals that she has friends who can provide information. Meanwhile, Rachel is moving out of her apartment and Ross is available for lunch."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, \"How you doin'?\" Ross Geller : So does-does Joey know you're moving? Rachel Green : Well, I haven't discussed it with him yet, but I know he's gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book. Ross Geller : That's not really porn. Rachel Green : Not so much. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what and if you're looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view? Ross Geller : Well I don't know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. With your permission. Rachel Green : Yeah that would really be great. Ross Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Rachel is moving out because she can't live with Joey after the baby comes, and Ross offers to help take care of the baby and visit whenever he wants with Rachel's permission."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldn't. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect. Ross Geller : Yeah. No. No you're right. Rachel Green : Shall we? Ross Geller : Yeah. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : Yes? Ross Geller : Hi. I'm Ross Geller. I live in the building. Rachel Green : And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building. Ross Geller : I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and I'm so sorry for your loss. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : She didn't pass. Ross Geller : What?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discover that Mrs. Verhoeven, a resident of their building, did not pass away as previously reported, but is actually still alive."}
-{"dialogues": "Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : My mother's still alive. Ross Geller : Oh, thank God! Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but she's a tough old bird. Rachel Green : Ahh. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : Are you close with her? Ross Geller : Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in the laundry room. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : You Speak Dutch? Zeer Vereerd Een Vriend Van Mijn Moeder Te Ontmoeten. Ross Geller : Y'know I would it's just painful. Rachel Green : So she's really not dead. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : No, she's hanging in there.", "summary": "Mrs. Verhoeven's daughter reveals that her mother is still alive despite looking like they were going to lose her earlier in the day. Ross Geller confirms that he is close with Mrs. Verhoeven and speaks Dutch with her, but finds it painful due to their past. Rachel Green expresses relief that Mrs. Verhooven is not dead."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hmm. Do you think-Could you tell me if she's hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two? Brenda : Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Where'd you get it? Monica Geller : Oh well umm, I make it myself! It's two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is...y'know what? We just met. Brenda : Okay. Uhh, I'm gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back I'll clean behind the refrigerator. Monica Geller : I love her. Brenda : I'll be back in a minute. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : See? I told you. Monica Geller : She stole my jeans! Chandler Bing : What?", "summary": "Mrs. Bing (Brenda) enters and starts cleaning with an impressive tile cleaner, which Monica reveals she made herself using ammonia and lemon juice. Rachel wonders if Mrs. Bing is staying in a one or two bedroom apartment, but Mrs. Bing quickly exits to do laundry and clean behind the refrigerator. Monica loves Mrs. Bing and Chandler teases her about her stolen jeans."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them! Chandler Bing : So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you? Monica Geller : Don't you see? It's the perfect crime! Chandler Bing : She must've been planning this for years! Monica Geller : I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain! Chandler Bing : Honey, isn't it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair? Monica Geller : I guess. Chandler Bing : So, shouldn't we go give her the benefit of the doubt before we go...snooping around her crotch? Monica Geller : Fine. I'm just glad I didn't give her my secret ingredient. Chandler Bing : Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?", "summary": "Monica accuses Rachel of stealing her jeans and planning the perfect crime. Monica found an ink stain on the crotch that proves Rachel was wearing them when she returned. Chandler defends Rachel, suggesting it's possible the company made multiple pairs with the same stain. Monica is relieved she didn't give Rachel her secret ingredient."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Eric : Come in, I'm so glad you're here. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, me too. Not in the shaky angry way you are though. Eric : Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Eric : Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just...I got so angry just looking at her......face. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Yeah. Eric : I'm sorry. I just...when I look at you I see her. When I see her I get a little bit angry. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe this is too weird.", "summary": "Eric is still upset after seeing his ex-fianc\u00e9e Ursula and becomes agitated when he sees Phoebe, bringing up old feelings of betrayal and anger."}
-{"dialogues": "Eric : No wait! There's only a problem when I look at you. Oh I got it! I got it. Phoebe Buffay : No don't tear out your eyes!! Eric : I was just, I was just gonna take out my lenses. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah try that. So, is that better? Eric : Not really. You...you're blurry, but you still look like Ursula. You're Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe...If I-if I just don't look at you for a while. See? It...it works. I'm not, I'm not angry at all anymore! This is a great date! Phoebe Buffay : Look Eric, turn around. Look, I like you, but it shouldn't be this hard. Y'know? This is our first date y'know? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and 'Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand?' and y'know first kisses and......second kisses. Ross Geller : Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. Gunther : Jij Spreekt Nederlands? Dat Is Te Gek. Heb Je Familie Daar? Ross Geller : Yeah, we're done. Gunther : Ezel.", "summary": "Eric has a problem when he looks at Phoebe and considers removing his eyes. Instead, he decides to try taking out his lenses. However, this only makes things worse as he still looks like Ursula. He then decides to avoid looking at her for a while, which solves the problem. On their first date, Eric and Phoebe struggle to connect and have difficulty with the usual excitement and electricity of a first date."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools? Ross Geller : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler. Ross Geller : Sweet! Joey Tribbiani : All right, well finish your coffee; let's go. Ross Geller : Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first. Joey Tribbiani : To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, you're not gonna be on TV! Ross Geller : No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're switching apartments?", "summary": "Ross and Joey are discussing plans for the day, including going to an Imax movie and watching the Knicks play. Ross has to stop by his apartment first to check on something."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's not for me, it's for Rachel. Joey Tribbiani : But Rachel has an apartment. Ross Geller : Yeah, but when the baby comes she's gonna want to move. Joey Tribbiani : She is? Ross Geller : Yeah, you didn't expect her to live there with a baby did you? Joey Tribbiani : I guess I didn't really think about it. Ross Geller : Ezel! Hey Gunther! You're an ezel! Gunther : Jij Hebt Seks Met Ezels. Ross Geller : Damnit! Monica Geller : Nice jeans!", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss Rachel's living situation when her baby arrives, with Ross suggesting she might want to move out of her apartment. Joey expresses surprise at this idea, and Gunther enters the conversation with an unexpected comment. Monica compliments Rachel on her jeans."}
-{"dialogues": "Brenda : Oh thanks! I like your top. Monica Geller : Oh. You're not gettin' it. Brenda : What happened?! Monica Geller : Oh, I fell asleep. Brenda : I was thinking about taking my lunch break. Monica Geller : Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? That'll really work up your appetite for lunch. Brenda : All right. Monica Geller : Hello. Brenda : What's going on?! Monica Geller : I'm sorry. I've never had a maid before, is this not okay?", "summary": "Brenda and Monica have a conversation about taking a lunch break and doing household chores. Monica mentions that she has never had a maid before and is unsure if it is okay."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : How was the game? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, okay. I...I ate way too much. Rachel Green : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh. So umm, I was talkin' to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place. Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Hopefully across the street if certain Dutch people would just let go. Joey Tribbiani : I was kinda hoping you'd stay. Rachel Green : Oh but Joey, I have to go. There's no room for a baby here. Joey Tribbiani : No room? It's a baby. It's like this big. Y'know, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. Or-or-or we could put it right here. Aw, it's cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. You wouldn't even notice it. Where's the baby?", "summary": "Rachel wants to move across the street but is unable to due to Dutch people not letting go of their current location. Joey hopes she will stay, but Rachel has to leave for a new place because there is no room for her baby. Joey suggests various locations for the baby, including over or near Rachel's current residence."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Honey, it's not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when there's a screaming baby around. Joey Tribbiani : I could use a challenge! It's getting pretty easy. Rachel Green : Honey, it's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I can't do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life. Joey Tribbiani : I love living with you so much. I just wish things didn't have to change. Rachel Green : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know I blame Ross for this. Rachel Green : I do too a little bit. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna miss you, you're the hottest roommate I ever had. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment. Eric : Oh no, stay here we'll keep doing this. I'll pay you.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are having a conversation about her potentially moving out due to the arrival of their baby. Joey is excited for the challenge of living with a crying baby, but Rachel is hesitant and feels it would disrupt his life too much. They blame Ross for the situation. Phoebe interrupts to leave for a massage appointment."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, I got in trouble for that before. I'll see you later. Eric : Absolutely. I love the way you kiss. Phoebe Buffay : Really? That's the thing I'm worse at! You'll see. Chandler Bing : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Umm, I think Brenda needs a raise. Chandler Bing : How come? Monica Geller : Because I put my head between her legs. Chandler Bing : To see her pants? Monica Geller : They're my pants! Chandler Bing : Are you sure? Did you see the stain?", "summary": "Phoebe gets in trouble for kissing Eric, who loves it. Chandler and Monica discuss Brenda needing a raise, with Chandler wondering if he saw a stain on her pants."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No! I was just getting into position and then everything went dark. Chandler Bing : God! She is not stealing from us! Okay, will you let this go? Monica Geller : Fine. She's wearing my bra! Chandler Bing : Oh dear God! Monica Geller : My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap! Chandler Bing : And yet you don't recognize that you're crazy. Monica Geller : Here's the plan! Okay? I'm going to leave you get a look at Brenda's bra! Chandler Bing : Here's another plan...No! Monica Geller : I would do it but she thinks I'm attracted to her! Chandler Bing : Why?", "summary": "Monica finds a stranger wearing her bra and becomes obsessed with getting a glimpse of Brenda's underwear."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on we're a team! We're in this together! Chandler Bing : I fear a jury will see it the same way! Monica Geller : Do this for me! Come on, I catch you looking at woman's breasts all the time! Chandler Bing : You see that? Monica Geller : Do you see this? Chandler Bing : All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if it's not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?! Monica Geller : Yes! Absolutely. Okay? Look, you'll know it's mine because on the right cup, the lacey part, there's a very noticeable rip. Chandler Bing : You need new clothes. Ross Geller : Hi. How is she? Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : It's not looking good.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over a bra that Monica lost during a cleaning session at Mrs. Verhoeven's apartment. Monica wants Chandler to help her find the bra, while Chandler is skeptical and thinks they should just let the woman clean the apartment. Meanwhile, Ross enters the conversation and asks about Mrs. Verhoeven's daughter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh. Oh. Well I uh, I brought her some bloemen. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : That's so sweet. Would you like to come in and say good-bye? I'm sure it would mean a lot to her. Ross Geller : Oh I don't know that it would. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : Well, her memory is pretty much gone. Ross Geller : All right then. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Eric : Welcome back! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Can we pick up where we left off? Eric : I don't know, I'm still pretty tired out from this afternoon. Phoebe Buffay : Why?", "summary": "Ross brings a bouquet of flowers to Mrs. Verhoeven's daughter, who invites him inside to say goodbye. However, Mrs. Verhoeven's memory has gone, so Ross declines the invitation. Meanwhile, Phoebe returns and tries to continue their earlier conversation with Eric, but he is still tired from their previous encounter."}
-{"dialogues": "Eric : Uh, the sex. Phoebe Buffay : What sex? Eric : Our sex. Phoebe Buffay : We didn't have sex. Eric : Well if I didn't have sex with you, I had sex with someone that looked an awful lot like... Phoebe Buffay : Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Eric : Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No! Phoebe Buffay : You-you...you had sex with Ursula?! Eric : Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and... Phoebe Buffay : You didn't notice she was wearing different clothes?!", "summary": "Eric had sex with someone who looked like Phoebe, but it wasn't actually her. He later realized it was Ursula in disguise."}
-{"dialogues": "Eric : Well I was just so excited to see you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Y'know what? This is too weird. Eric : No-no it's not! I don't want to lose you! It's-it's like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was you-Yeah it is too weird. Phoebe Buffay : So I guess this is it. Eric : Yeah. Maybe it's for the best. You smell just like her. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so do you. Brenda : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : I'm leaning. This is where I lean. Brenda : Okay. (Goes over and fluffs up the pillows on the couch. Chandler Bing : Brenda a bee!", "summary": "Eric and Phoebe are having a conversation when they realize that they have been mistaken for each other. Eric doesn't want to lose Phoebe and thinks it's too weird, while Phoebe is uninterested. Brenda enters and Chandler leans on the couch, causing Brenda to fluff up the pillows."}
-{"dialogues": "Brenda : What? Chandler Bing : Yes! It's flown into your blouse and you'd better undo your buttons lest it sting you! Brenda : I think I know what's going on here. Chandler Bing : You do? Brenda : Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but it's wrong. You're married. Chandler Bing : I totally understand. Can I just see your bra? Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Where did you get those jeans?! Rachel Green : You gave them to me! Monica Geller : No I didn't!", "summary": "A conversation about a person's spouse being a lesbian and whether or not it is wrong, followed by a request to see someone's bra."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch. Monica Geller : Oh no! Did you take my bra too?! Rachel Green : What bra? Monica Geller : The pink one with the flowers?! Rachel Green : You mean the one that you're wearing? Brenda : I quit! Monica Geller : Sounds about right. Rachel Green : What is this? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uh-Oh look! Here's a baby monitor , which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh? Rachel Green : You're so sweet. Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy!", "summary": "Rachel took Monica's clothes without asking, including a bra with flowers. Monica finds out and is upset. Joey suggests setting up a nursery for the incoming baby, using screens for privacy and a mobile to keep the baby entertained. Rachel is sweet and gives the baby a stuffed animal named Hugsy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.... That-that-that's really just to show where the baby would go. Y'know why don't I hold on to him so that there's no confusion? Rachel Green : But Joey the baby is going to be crying, it's going to be loud. Joey Tribbiani : I'm loud! Rachel Green : It's gonna be up all night! Joey Tribbiani : I'm up all night! Rachel Green : It's gonna poop! Joey Tribbiani : Hello! Rachel Green : What about all the women you want to bring home? Joey Tribbiani : Look, if I'm bringing home a woman who can't stand being around a baby, then maybe I don't want to be with that woman! Or maybe we'll just do it in the bathroom of the club! Rachel Green : Joey, are you sure?", "summary": "Joey wants to hold the baby but Rachel thinks it will be loud and disruptive. Joey suggests they bring women back to his apartment instead, but Rachel is hesitant."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! All right-Look, I know sometimes it'll be hard, okay? But, it'll also be really...really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay. Rachel Green : I want me to stay too. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh! Rachel Green : Thank you. Oh Joey and look at this crib! It's so cute! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I found it on the street. Rachel Green : Are you serious-Really?! It's in such good condition. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Wow! Whoa-whoa what's under the covers? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Rachel Green : It's moving.", "summary": "Rachel wants to stay in NYC, but Joey wants her to move back to San Francisco with him. They argue about it, and then Joey shows Rachel a cute apartment he found on the street. Rachel is impressed, but then they notice something moving under the covers."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ew. Rachel Green : It's still--It's got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Ah! Okay! Ross Geller : Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I don't care, because you got the apartment. Yes! Rachel Green : Ewww. Yeah. Umm. I think I'm gonna stay here. Joey Tribbiani : Isn't that great? Ross Geller : Ezels!! Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Rachel Green : I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow night, do you wanna come?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find a dead old lady in an apartment, and her dying wish is for Ross to give her one last kiss. However, Ross doesn't care about this and instead is excited that he will get the apartment. Joey thinks this is great, but Rachel is disgusted and decides to stay in the apartment. Meanwhile, Phoebe is asked to dinner by Rachel with her father tomorrow night."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Yeah, he's kinda sexy. Rachel Green : Oh no, no, I'll be there too. Phoebe Buffay : Okay so, we'll just come up with some kind of signal if it's going well you can take off. Rachel Green : No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Why not? Rachel Green : 'Cause I know he's gonna flip out and I hate it when he's angry. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Rachel, this is all so 'Papa don't preach.' Rachel Green : What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again he'd make me eat the entire pack. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Oh well, I will be there! Rachel Green : Thank you.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel discuss Rachel's upcoming date with a guy she's interested in, while also keeping secrets from him about her pregnancy. Phoebe offers to provide support during the date, but Rachel insists she needs to be there for moral encouragement. The conversation takes a surprising turn when they start reminiscing about past instances of Rachel's boyfriend getting angry with her, including one time he made her eat an entire pack of cigarettes."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Gosh. I'm not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him. Monica Geller : No you don't! Rachel Green : No you don't. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!!! Monica!! He's the stripper from your bachelorette party!! Chandler Bing : Her what?!! Phoebe Buffay : Your secret bachelorette party... Chandler Bing : You had a bachelorette party?! Phoebe Buffay : She untied his G-string with her teeth. Somebody stop me! Chandler Bing : I thought we weren't gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Y'know, we agreed that it was a silly tradition. Joey Tribbiani : It's a grand tradition!", "summary": "Buffay tries to stop a man from making someone eat their baby; Geller and Green recognize a stripper from her bachelorette party; Bing learns about the party; and Tribbiani defends bachelor/bachelorette parties."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I'm sorry, they surprised me. There was nothing I could do! Rachel Green : Well you could've untied it with your hands. Joey Tribbiani : This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasn't allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner! Chandler Bing : You went home with the waitress. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night. Chandler Bing : I can't believe you didn't tell me! You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty! Monica Geller : Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass! Leonard Green : How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I-I don't eat meat. Leonard Green : It's chicken.", "summary": "Monica is upset when Rachel's bachelorette party is surprise by Joey and Chandler without her knowledge or consent."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I don't eat that either. Leonard Green : I'll never understand you lesbians. So baby, tell me...what is new with you. Rachel Green : Well actually umm... Waiter : Your '74 Lafite sir. Leonard Green : '74?! I ordered the '75! That's a magnificent wine! The '74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter? Waiter : This is why I told the manager I wouldn't wait on you tonight! Leonard Green : Oh come on! Don't be such a baby! Rachel Green : In case you didn't notice, that is a scary man. Phoebe Buffay : He's right though, the '74 is absolute piss. Rachel Green : This was such a huge mistake. I can't tell him Phoebe. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't...", "summary": "Leonard Green, a wine snob, orders a bottle of 1975 Lafite but receives a bottle of 1974 instead. He insults Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay for not understanding his love for fine wines, leading to an argument about the quality of the wine."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Rachel! Rachel Green : No it's okay, this is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him. Phoebe Buffay : Why, so he can get mad at the baby? Rachel Green : Hey, that is the...baby's problem. Oh, everything okay with the waiter? Leonard Green : I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you. Rachel Green : Well... Umm, I got TiVo. Leonard Green : What's TiVo? Phoebe Buffay : It's slang for pregnant. Rachel Green : Phoebe! Leonard Green : Are you really pregnant?", "summary": "Rachel reveals she is pregnant and plans to wait a few years before telling her partner, while Phoebe expresses confusion and concern about the decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well uh, yes and no. Except not no. So to sum it up, yeah. Leonard Green : Who is the father? Oh no! Please don't tell me it's her! Rachel Green : No, it's Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross. Oh daddy, I hope you're okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. You're gonna-This is your first grandchild! You're gonna be a poppy! Leonard Green : That's true. Rachel Green : Yeah. Leonard Green : Poppy. Oh, I'm gonna be a poppy. So when is the wedding? Rachel Green : Who? Leonard Green : The wedding! There's going to be a wedding. Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!! Rachel Green : February 2nd! Mona : So it was really cool seeing you lecture today.", "summary": "Ross is the father of Rachel's baby. Leonard is excited to become a grandfather and wants to know when the wedding is. Rachel sets a date for February 2nd."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh thanks. Although it kinda seemed like you were falling asleep there a little. Mona : Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and y'know take it all in. Ross Geller : Yeah, a lot of my students do that. Mona : So, I gotta get going. Ross Geller : Okay, I-I'll see you tonight. Mona : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay, bye. Mona : Oh hey, thanks again for showing me your semi-precious stone collection. It was amazing! Chandler Bing : My God! You must be good in bed! Joey Tribbiani : So uh, you and Mona, been a while now. How's it going?", "summary": "Mona visits Ross at his apartment and they chat about his semi-precious stone collection. Mona has to leave, but thanks Ross for showing her his collection. Chandler makes a suggestive comment about Mona's relationship with Ross, and Joey asks how things are going between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ah, it's good. It's going good. I mean, we get along great. She's, she's so... Joey Tribbiani : Hot? Ross Geller : Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah-huh! Chandler Bing : She's okay with Rachel and the baby? Ross Geller : Well I...I haven't actually told her yet. I don't want to scare her off, y'know? Chandler Bing : Well, you have to honest with her! Otherwise you may think that you're going down the same path, but you're really going down different ones. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna take that book and beat you to death with it. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight you're gonna have a bachelor party. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!", "summary": "Ross tries to tell Chandler about his feelings for Rachel but is afraid of scaring her off. Joey jokes about the situation, while Monica plans a bachelor party for Chandler despite his objections."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Honey! That's crazy! I don't want you to get me a stripper... Joey Tribbiani : Will you let the lady talk?! Monica Geller : Come on! Come on, it'll be fun! It'll make me feel so much better. Chandler Bing : Look, I appreciate it, but uh, it's a little creepy. Y'know? I'm not a bachelor anymore. Monica Geller : So don't think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a...a two month anniversary present. Ross Geller : Sure, one year is paper, but two months is lapdance! Monica Geller : Please! I feel so bad! Just watch the hot woman get naked! Chandler Bing : All right fine! But I'm only doing this for you! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : And Joey.", "summary": "Chandler doesn't want to get a stripper for his bachelor party because it's \"a little creepy\" now that he's married. Monica tries to convince him by calling it a two-month anniversary present instead, but Ross adds fuel to the fire with his lapdance joke. In the end, Chandler reluctantly agrees to go through with it for Monica's sake."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Thank you. All right, now who else do you want to invite? Chandler Bing : Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough. Ross Geller : Uh actually, sorry I can't even make it. I'm seeing Mona again tonight. Chandler Bing : I Understand who would cancel an actual date to go to a fake bachelor party? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby... Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day. Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah. Rachel Green : I know. I know. I panicked, I panicked. I didn't want him to start yelling at me like I was some '74 Latour. Phoebe Buffay : It's Lafite. The '74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely. Rachel Green : All right here he comes. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna tell him, I'm gonna be strong. Leonard Green : I just called a friend of mine.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are invited to a fake bachelor party, but Ross can't make it because he's going out with Mona again that night. Chandler and Joey argue over why Ross should or shouldn't go to the party. Phoebe cancels due to prior commitments, including a unicorn baptism and leprechaun bar mitzvah. Rachel panics about telling her boyfriend she's been lying to him about not being able to attend his imaginary wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah? Leonard Green : I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice. Rachel Green : Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down. Leonard Green : What is it sweetie? Rachel Green : There's not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married. Leonard Green : What?! Rachel Green : I'm sorry daddy. Leonard Green : I don't believe this!! Rachel Green : Oh now daddy, stay calm. Please. Leonard Green : Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross won't marry you?! That's it! Is that it?!", "summary": "Rachel and Leonard have a conversation about her wedding plans, but Rachel suddenly announces that she and Ross are not getting married after all. Leonard is shocked and upset by this news, and their conversation becomes heated."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes. Yes, he says I'm damaged goods. Joey Tribbiani : So you uh, nervous about getting married? Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Look, look let's pretend it's a real bachelor party. Okay? Y'know? Before your wedding. Come on, it'll be fun. Chandler Bing : Okay. I can't believe tomorrow's the big day. Joey Tribbiani : How does it feel knowing you're never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing you're gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death. Chandler Bing : You're right, this is more fun. Joey Tribbiani : That's her! Okay, come on! Stripper : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hi.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler pretend to be at a bachelor party for Rachel, who is getting married the next day. Joey teases Rachel about being \"damaged goods\" and Chandler expresses disbelief that she's never going to be with another woman again. The group then meets a stripper who joins in on their fun."}
-{"dialogues": "Stripper : So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, that-that's-that's me! Chandler Bing : That's me. Joey Tribbiani : Joey Tribbiani, a big fan. Stripper : So is that a bedroom? Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah right over there. Stripper : All right, whenever you're ready. Chandler Bing : That was weird. Joey Tribbiani : Why-why would she go in the bedroom? Stripper : I'm waiting.", "summary": "A stripper goes to a bachelor party and mistakenly assumes one of the men is Chandler Bing, leading to a confusing and awkward encounter."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So she's a... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's one naked hooker! Mona : I love your place! Where is this guy from? Ross Geller : Uh that's an eighteenth century Indian artifact from Calcutta. Mona : Oh wow! So, you're more than just dinosaurs. Ross Geller : So much more. Mona : Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Ross Geller : Aw forget it, it's from Pier One. Sorry. Leonard Green : You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?! I'm gonna kill you!! Ross Geller : Y'know this is actually not a great time for me.", "summary": "A group of friends discuss a controversial artifact in Ross's apartment, with Mona expressing admiration and Leonard threatening violence. Meanwhile, Chandler and Joey make inappropriate jokes about a \"naked hooker.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Leonard Green : So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant! Mona : You got Rachel pregnant?! Ross Geller : Who did?! Leonard Green : You did! Ross Geller : Yes. Yes, yes I did. But-but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing. Leonard Green : Oh? Really? That's what my daughter means to you? Nothing? Ross Geller : No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I care-I-I love Rachel. Mona : What?! Ross Geller : Oh but not that way. I mean...I mean I'm not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend. Leonard Green : Oh really? That's how treat a friend? You get her in trouble and then refuse to marry her?", "summary": "Ross gets Rachel pregnant, but claims it was a one-night thing and meant nothing. However, Mona disagrees and confronts Ross about his feelings towards Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! I offered to marry her! Mona : Wh... Ross Geller : But I didn't want to. Leonard Green : Well why not? So you can spend your time with this tramp?! Mona : Tramp?! Ross Geller : I'm sorry. Dr. Green, Mona. Mona, Dr. Green. Chandler Bing : I can't believe there is a naked hooker in there! Joey Tribbiani : Wait! Wait! Maybe she's a hooker and a stripper, but she got confused about what she's supposed to do. Chandler Bing : Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. Ma'am, are you also a stripper? Hooker : Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but that's gonna cost extra. Okay, here's the extras, handcuffs, spanking...", "summary": "Ross offers to marry Mona, but he didn't want to; Leonard insults Mona and Ross defends her; Chandler and Joey find a naked woman in the apartment complex; the woman claims to be neither a hooker nor a stripper but offers to perform as one for an additional fee."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Maybe Monica's playing a joke on ya. Y'know? Getting her own husband a hooker, that's pretty funny. Chandler Bing : That is funny, maybe for my birthday she'll murder someone. Joey Tribbiani : I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy. Hooker : Do you mind if I smoke in here? Chandler Bing : Oh actually, I'd rather you...Yeah, go ahead. We're gonna have to burn that room down anyway. Mona : How could you have kept all of this from me? Ross Geller : I was going to tell you, but... Leonard Green : But what?! You figured you'd get what you wanted and then dump her like you dumped Rachel! Ross Geller : Hey! I did not dump Rachel! Nor are we still together. Can I just... Why don't we just let the machine get that? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross. It's Joey. There's a hooker over here and we thought maybe you'd know something about it.", "summary": "Monica gets Chandler a prostitute for his birthday, but he finds out and becomes upset. Meanwhile, Joey and Ross discover a hooker in their room and question each other about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No! No! No! No! No! I-I-I-I-I need to, I need to lie down. Stu : So, tonight's the night of the big bachelor party? Monica Geller : Yeah! Hey! Thanks for getting me that girl's number. Stu : No problem. So who's the party for? Monica Geller : My husband. Stu : You hired your husband a hooker? Monica Geller : She's a stripper. Stu : No, she's a hooker. Monica Geller : Is that, is that what they call strippers sometimes? Stu : When they're hookers.", "summary": "Monica hires a stripper for her husband's bachelor party, but confusion arises when Ross misinterprets and thinks she has hired a prostitute."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God Stu! I-I can't believe you did this! Now are you absolutely sure she's a hooker? Stu : Either that or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe she meant to get you a hooker. Chandler Bing : Why would she do that? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe she wants you to learn something. Huh? Now is there anything you're really bad at y'know, sexually? Chandler Bing : This is the worst bachelor party ever! Hooker : What's taking you boys so long? Joey Tribbiani : In a minute! Chandler Bing : In a minute? What's gonna happen in a minute?! Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right maybe-maybe you should just ask her to leave.", "summary": "Monica is shocked when Stu brings a prostitute to their friend's bachelor party."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why me?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! It's your bachelor party. Chandler Bing : Which is why you should do it. Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to. You do it! Chandler Bing : You do it! Joey Tribbiani : You do it! Chandler Bing : All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! What? Joey Tribbiani : I miss this. Chandler Bing : I don't think we've actually done this before! Joey Tribbiani : No, I-I miss hanging out with you.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are at a bachelor party, where they play Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who has to tell a prostitute to leave. Chandler misses hanging out with Joey and they reminisce about their past experiences together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well we...we still hang out. Joey Tribbiani : Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Y'know now it's like...things are different. Chandler Bing : Well y'know, things are different. I'm...I'm married now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sure-And hey, don't get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys. I just...I miss...hanging out...just-just us, y'know? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on we'll make time to hang out with each other. Joey Tribbiani : You got it. Come here. Hooker : Oh God! Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys. Monica Geller : She's a hooker! She's a hooker! She's a... Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. Ross Geller : So your dad dropped by. He's a pleasant man! Rachel Green : Oh no...", "summary": "Chandler and Joey reminisce about their past closeness but now they don't hang out as much due to Chandler being married. They make plans to spend time together again."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'D Better Go. Just Over Here I don't want to miss the fight. Rachel Green : Ross I'm so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail. Ross Geller : I don't care about your dad! I care about Mona! She was there and now she's totally freaked out! Rachel Green : Oh okay, I'll fix that to. What's her e-mail address? Ross Geller : Rachel! Rachel Green : All right, I promise. I'll fix this. I swear. I'll-I'll-I'll-I'll talk to her. Ross Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : That's it?! You call that a fight? Come on! \"We were on a break!\" \"No we weren't!\" What happened to you two?!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over Ross's relationship with Mona, while Phoebe tries to get involved in their fight."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Thank you so much for coming back over. Mona : Oh good, you're here. Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to be uncomfortable. Rachel Green : I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, I'm so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. You're gonna have to tell me how you did that. Ross Geller : Focus. Rachel Green : Okay. Um...But-Okay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together. Mona : How can I be sure on that? Rachel Green : Oh we just-we drove each other crazy! Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : I mean he was possessive, he was jealous, he could never just let the little things go! Ross Geller : Trying to date this woman.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are getting ready to have a baby, but their relationship is complicated by their past history together. Mona expresses concern about Ross's anger issues, while Ross tries to steer the conversation back on track."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. Ross Geller : Probably shouldn't touch me. Mona : Y'know, I-I-I just...I don't want to get in the middle of something so complicated. Rachel Green : I know, I get it, but Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean we all have our baggage! You must too! Why else would you still be single? I am so gonna leave right now. Ross Geller : Should I leave this open for you too? Mona : I'm not sure yet. Why didn't you just tell me about all this? Ross Geller : Because what's going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you. Mona : Yeah? Well you still shoulda told me. Ross Geller : I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachel's father. Look I...I made a mistake, but it's only because I really, really like you. Really! Mona : Okay, I guess you can...close the door now.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have complicated feelings for each other, with Rachel expressing her admiration for Ross's kindness and gentleness despite their past relationship. Mona enters the conversation, hesitant to intervene in their complex situation. Ross reveals that he still has feelings for Rachel, but was trying to spare her father's feelings by not telling her directly. Mona ultimately agrees to listen to Ross's confession and allows him to leave the door open."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Forgot my purse! Oh, you guys made up. He's a good kisser isn't he? I'm going! Monica Geller : I swear I didn't know she was a hooker! I mean wh-Did you let her smoke in here? Chandler Bing : Her ass print is still on your grandmother's quilt, do you really want to talk about smoking? Monica Geller : Y'know what? I'm gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper , and you're gonna get a stripper. Chandler Bing : Monica! Wait! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Carry on. Monica Geller : Ooh, these tennis shoes are so tight. I think I'll take them off. Chandler Bing : Could you not narrate? Monica Geller : Gotcha sailor.", "summary": "Rachel forgets her purse and Monica makes up with her ex-boyfriend after he kisses her. Monica offers to get a stripper for Chandler as payment for ruining his grandmother's quilt, but Chandler is not interested. Monica takes off her shoes and continues the conversation despite Chandler's request to stop narrating."}
-{"dialogues": "Leonard Green : ...just because you're not in love with the guy you can't... Phoebe Buffay : Wow, you told your dad the truth. Rachel Green : About an hour ago. Phoebe Buffay : Wanna go see a movie? Rachel Green : Yes! Bye daddy. Leonard Green : ...there's gonna be a wedding! That's unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! ...constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! What gives you the right to... Go to hell! Stupid guy on my phone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back. Rachel Green : Oh my...God! Let me see that! Joey Tribbiani : You fall for it every time!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nRachel and Ross are getting married, but Ross's dad is opposed to their marriage because he doesn't think love is the most important factor in a successful marriage. Joey tries to offer his support and advice, but ends up causing more problems. Phoebe suggests going to see a movie to take Rachel's mind off of her father's opposition, but Rachel is still upset about the wedding news."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : I brought you my old maternity clothes! Rachel Green : Oh Pheebs that's so sweet--Ooh, those are so cute! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! And look, see how they expand as the baby grows? And then after the baby's born, they're great for shoplifting melons. Monica Geller : Oh good you're all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four o'clock. Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school? Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : He was in Ross's class...marching band...kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend. Rachel Green : Wow! I don't remember him. Honey, are you sure you're not talking about your imaginary boyfriend. Monica Geller : No that was Jarred! Wow! I haven't thought about him in a long time... Anyway, umm Will's, Will's here on business and he didn't have a place to go so I invited him here.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay brings her old maternity clothes to Rachel Green, who finds them cute. Monica Geller joins the conversation and mentions that she has invited an old high school friend, Will Colbert, to Thanksgiving dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh that's nice. Monica Geller : Oh, and by the way, he's lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! I still love Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : I just want you to say it once in a while. Monica Geller : All right okay, just so you know, I'm not gonna make a turkey this year. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Monica Geller : Well Phoebe doesn't eat turkey... Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Turkey's are beautiful, intelligent animals! Joey Tribbiani : No they're not! They're ugly and stupid and delicious! Monica Geller : All right! Okay, it's just Phoebe. Will's still on a diet, Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachel's having her aversion to poultry.", "summary": "Monica Geller mentions that Joey Tribbiani's boyfriend Will is on a diet, Chandler Bing does not eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachel Green has an aversion to poultry. Phoebe Buffay argues that turkeys are beautiful and intelligent animals, while Joey Tribbiani insists they are ugly and stupid, and delicious."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : She is? Rachel Green : Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table. Monica Geller : Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? It's a lot of work. Joey Tribbiani : But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas! Monica Geller : All right fine! If it means that much to you! But just-there's gonna be a ton left over. Joey Tribbiani : No there won't! I promise I will finish that turkey! Monica Geller : All right, you're telling me you can eat an entire turkey in just one sitting? Joey Tribbiani : That's right! 'Cause I'm a Tribbiani! And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we don't read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat! Monica Geller : Hey, isn't weird to think about how next year at this time they'll be a little baby at the table? Rachel's! But good to know where you're at!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss Thanksgiving plans, with Monica expressing concern about making a whole turkey for just three people. Joey insists that turkey is essential for Thanksgiving and promises to finish any leftovers. The conversation turns to the upcoming arrival of Rachel's baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Happy Thanksgiving! Monica Geller : You too! Phoebe Buffay : Anything I can do to help? Monica Geller : Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but he's really into the game so I don't want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Monica Geller : I'm gonna go across the hall to check on the yams. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! We're not at a barn dance. You've gotta-you wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?", "summary": "Phoebe helps Monica fold napkins for Thanksgiving dinner while Chandler is preoccupied with a game."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. So how's the game? Chandler Bing : I have no idea. Phoebe Buffay : What? Chandler Bing : Yeah! I'm just pretending to watch the game so I don't have to help out with stuff. Phoebe Buffay : I don't believe you! That is...brilliant! And Monica has no idea? Chandler Bing : Nope! Every once and a while I just scream stuff at the TV. Monica Geller : Is your team winning hon? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Anderson just scored again! There's no Anderson. Phoebe Buffay : Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I don't think I can help you after all, I didn't realize this game was on. Monica Geller : Oh, I didn't know you liked football.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are watching a football game together, but Chandler is not actually paying attention to it. He is pretending to watch so he can avoid helping Monica with other tasks. Phoebe joins them and becomes excited about the game, but it quickly becomes clear that she has no idea what is happening."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well normally I don't, but y'know......Green Bay is playing. Monica Geller : You like Green Bay? Phoebe Buffay : Well it's only like my favorite bay! {Actually, it's not bad. It just gets a little cold in winter, but in Wisconsin winter only lasts from August to June. J } Monica Geller : Hey! Will Colbert : Hey! Will Colbert : Happy Thanksgiving! Monica Geller : Aww thanks! God Will I'm so glad that you came! You look great! You must've lost like... Will Colbert : 150 pounds. Yeah, I'm gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials. Monica Geller : A pie! Will Colbert : Oh right. All right, it's no fat, it's no sugar, it's no dairy...it's no good. Throw it out.", "summary": "Green Bay is playing, and Phoebe likes them. Monica invites Will over for Thanksgiving, and he has lost a significant amount of weight."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will. Will Colbert : Hey. Chandler Bing : Oh hey. I'd shake your hand but uh; I'm really into the game. Plus, I think it'd be better for my ego if we didn't stand right next to each other. Monica Geller : This is Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Wow! Well done. Monica Geller : Wanna give me a hand? Will Colbert : Sure! Monica, I can't get over how great you look! You look stunning! Monica Geller : Well you look incredible too! You're just-you're so fit! Chandler Bing : I'm watching the game, but I'm not deaf! Monica Geller : Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.", "summary": "Monica invites Will over and he meets her husband Chandler and friend Phoebe. Monica compliments Will on his fitness, while Chandler is distracted by a game."}
-{"dialogues": "Will Colbert : Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross! Monica Geller : Good. And Rachel Green too. Will Colbert : Oh. Monica Geller : Is there a problem? Will Colbert : Nope. Uh, it's okay. It's just uh, God I hated her. Monica Geller : What? Will Colbert : Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, I'm in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? No Will no! Chandler Bing : Y'know, it's been a while since we've screamed something. Maybe we should. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay. Chandler Bing : Oh come on!", "summary": "Ross is coming, and Will expresses his excitement but also reveals that he had a difficult time with Rachel in high school. Monica asks if everything is okay, and Will assures her that it's fine. Chandler suggests screaming something to celebrate, and Phoebe agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Noooo!! Damn you ref! You burn in hell!!! Monica Geller : Hey, what are you doing? You gotta save room, you've got almost an entire turkey to eat. Joey Tribbiani : Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin' chips is like stretching. Monica Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, Tribbianis never get full. Will Colbert : I actually know what you're talking about. I'm here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void. Joey Tribbiani : Who the hell is this guy? Monica Geller : Will! From high school. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey! Monica Geller : Joey.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe argue over a bad call by a referee during a Thanksgiving Day football game. Joey tries to explain how his stomach works, while Will enters the conversation to share his knowledge about eating and feeling full."}
-{"dialogues": "Will Colbert : Hello. Ross Geller : Will! Will Colbert : Ross! Ross Geller : Hey-hey you came! Man you look incredible! Hot stuff! Hot stuff? Will Colbert : It's good to see you man. Ross Geller : Yeah, you too. Man, so-so what are you up to? Will Colbert : I'm a commodities broker. Ross Geller : Really? Yeah that-that sounds interesting. Will Colbert : Yeah, it's not. But I'm rich and thin. Ross Geller : Oh! Man I don't think I've seen you since uh, Lance Davis' graduation party.", "summary": "Will and Ross haven't seen each other in a while, and they exchange pleasantries before Ross asks what Will does for a living. Will reveals that he is a commodities broker, but adds that it's not very interesting. Despite this, he notes that he is both wealthy and thin."}
-{"dialogues": "Will Colbert : That was such a fun night! Ross Geller : Yeah. It would've been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun. Will Colbert : Yeah. Ross Geller : Yeah. Will Colbert : God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were? Ross Geller : Yeah. Will Colbert : So what do you, what do you do now? Ross Geller : So how long are you in town? Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey sweetie. Oh good.", "summary": "Ross and Will reminisce about their past enthusiasm for dinosaurs, while Will asks Ross what he does now and how long he's in town. Rachel joins the conversation and says hello to Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Will Colbert : Rachel Green. Ross Geller : Aw-oh, that's right. Are-are you gonna be okay? Will Colbert : Oh, I'll-I'll be fine. Just God I hate her Ross! I hate her! Ross Geller : Will, high school was-was a long time ago. Will Colbert : Look At Her Standing There With Those Yams! My Two Greatest Enemies Ross Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates. Rachel Green : Oh my God Monica, who is that? Monica Geller : That's Will from high school! Rachel Green : Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. Oh my God, he's... Look at the way he's just staring at me. I think he's trying to mouth something to me, but I can't make it out. Monica Geller : Okay, dinner's ready! Chandler Bing : Good game!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Will Colbert and Ross Geller discuss their high school rivalries, with Will expressing his disdain for Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates. Rachel enters the conversation, and Will becomes fixated on her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Solid effort. Solid effort. Monica Geller : Oh, so who won? Phoebe Buffay : Green Bay. Chandler Bing : Detroit. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Well the Lions technically won, but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay...Mermen. Rachel Green : Hi! Will, right? Will Colbert : Right. Rachel Green : Hi! I'm Rachel Green.", "summary": "Green Bay and Detroit played in a close game, but the Lions ultimately won. However, it was a moral victory for the Green Bay...Mermen."}
-{"dialogues": "Will Colbert : Oh I-I remember you. Rachel Green : Really?! Aren't you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis' graduation party? Will Colbert : You are unbelievable. Rachel Green : Thank you! Monica Geller : Uh Rachel? Rachel, why don't you sit here? And Will you sit way over there. Joey Tribbiani : That's it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge! Monica Geller : This is Chandler's chicken. This is the turkey. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. How-how big is that? Monica Geller : About nineteen pounds. Joey Tribbiani : It's like me when I was born.", "summary": "Rachel struggles to remember Will, who claims they had a encounter at Lance Davis' graduation party. Will is shocked and amused by Rachel's confusion. Monica offers to help Rachel sit, while Joey tries to eat a large turkey despite lacking any challenge. Chandler reveals that the turkey is nineteen pounds."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will? Will Colbert : Oh, you'd like that wouldn't ya? Rachel Green : What? Oh y'know what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck! Will Colbert : Typical. Rachel Green : I'm sorry. What? Will Colbert : I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, who is this guy? Rachel Green : Umm, I'm sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me? Will Colbert : I don't know? Do I? Do I? Phoebe Buffay : I think you do.", "summary": "Rachel tries to share yams with Will, who declines; Rachel is bothered by the smell of chicken and turkey on the other side of the table; Will calls Rachel \"typical\"; Joey questions Will's behavior; Phoebe agrees with Will that he may have a problem with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Apparently you were umm, a little mean to him in high school. Will Colbert : A little mean? You made my life miserable! Rachel Green : I'm-I'm-I had no idea. I'm sorry. I... Will Colbert : Well you should be. Screw it! Bring on the yams! Monica Geller : Oh Will. But you-you've worked so hard... Will Colbert : Yams!!!! Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Uh Will umm, I just want to say that I'm real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school... Will Colbert : Oh, it wasn't just me. We had a club! Rachel Green : You had a club?!", "summary": "Monica Geller and Rachel Green apologize for their mean behavior towards Will Colbert in high school. Will is upset but eventually forgives them after they explain that they had a \"club\" where they bullied him together."}
-{"dialogues": "Will Colbert : That's right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club! Rachel Green : Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club? Will Colbert : Me and Ross. Ross Geller : No need to point, she knows who Ross is. Rachel Green : So you were in an I Hate Rachel club? Will Colbert : Yes he was. Ross Geller : No. No. Rachel Green : So who else was in this club? Ross Geller : Uh actually, there-there was also that exchange student from Thailand but I-I don't think he-he knew what it was. Rachel Green : So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.", "summary": "Rachel Green discovers that her ex-boyfriend Will Colbert and his friend Ross Geller were members of an \"I Hate Rachel Club.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Will Colbert : You went out with her?! We had a pact! Ross Geller : That was in high school! It's not like it was binding forever. Will Colbert : Then why did it have the word eternity in it? Rachel Green : Okay Monica, did you know about this?! Monica Geller : I swear I didn't. Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door? Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Hmm, a little relieved, I gotta say. Ross Geller : Look Rach I-I'm sorry, okay? I...I was a stupid kid, okay? The only reason I joined... Will Colbert : Co-founded! Ross Geller : ...co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didn't handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.", "summary": "Ross and Will co-founded a club in high school called the \"I Hate Rachel Club,\" but Ross reveals that he was actually in love with Rachel at the time."}
-{"dialogues": "Will Colbert : Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club. Rachel Green : Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me? Will Colbert : Well, we did a little more than that. Ross Geller : No-no! No-no. No-no. Phoebe Buffay : What?! What else did you do? Will Colbert : We started a rumor. Rachel Green : What rumor? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us! Rachel Green : Ross! Ross Geller : It was no big deal. We-we...said that the rumor was...that umm...you had both...male and female reproductive parts.", "summary": "The group discusses a club they formed called \"I Hate Rachel Club,\" where they would meet to say mean things about Rachel Green. They also started a rumor about her having both male and female reproductive parts."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What?! Will Colbert : That's right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Monica Geller : You started that?! Rachel Green : What?! You heard that?! Monica Geller : Everyone at our school heard it! Chandler Bing : Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?! Rachel Green : Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldn't go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! Ross Geller : Actually, Billy Tratt is gay now. So-so that one's not really our fault. Rachel Green : Monica, how come you never told me this?!", "summary": "Rachel discovers she was raised as a girl after being switched at birth and has a small penis; everyone at school knows except her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me. Rachel Green : Joey stop staring! There's nothing there! It's not true! Joey Tribbiani : I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof. Rachel Green : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : You are my Everest. Monica Geller : Joey, you don't have to finish that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yes I do. Otherwise what's next? Today I'm just a guy who can't finish a turkey, but tomorrow I'm the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just...I just-I gotta change my pants. Jeans have no give. Rachel Green : Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, \"Dear Rach, you're such a good person.\" Not girl! Person! Ross Geller : Rach, I think you're reading a little too much into it. Rachel Green : \"Dear Rach, you're a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie.\"", "summary": "Monica fears Joey may show her something and cries, while Joey requires evidence to believe it. Monica tells him he's her Everest, but he needs to finish a turkey, which he can't do. Rachel shows them what Sean McMahon wrote in her yearbook about being a good person, not girl, and Ross agrees with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasn't true?! Rachel Green : Yes! Will Colbert : Could you also tell them I'm skinny now? Monica Geller : Oh! Me too! Ross Geller : Well look-look I'm not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago! Rachel Green : I don't care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Y'know what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school. Monica Geller : That's not totally true. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.", "summary": "Ross lies about Rachel's heritage, then she wants him to call everyone in school and admit it was false. Will joins in on the request, asking Ross to also say he's skinny now. Monica jumps in, saying she wants to be included in the call too. Ross refuses, claiming it happened a long time ago and doesn't want to bring it up again. Rachel points out that she never did anything to hurt him in high school, but Monica corrects her, mentioning the rumor about Ross making out with their 50-year-old librarian."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : How did you know that?!!!! Monica Geller : It's true?!! Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog! Will Colbert : Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman? Ross Geller : Hey! She didn't look 50! Chandler Bing : Did she look 16? Rachel Green : Ohh, there's a picture of her in the yearbook actually. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Wow!", "summary": "Ross and Monica argue about whether or not they made out behind the card catalog, with Rachel confirming that she saw them together. Will mentions Mrs. Altman's infidelity, and Chandler makes a joke about his high school hookup being a 50-year-old woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : She didn't photograph well! Chandler Bing : Well, she probably wasn't familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings! Phoebe Buffay : So how did this happen? Did she, did she lure you to an early bird dinner? Ross Geller : I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace... Monica Geller : Didn't she walk with a cane? Ross Geller : Only when it was damp!! I can't believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Y'know what? I'm back in the club! Will Colbert : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : I wanna join! Rachel Green : Wh-Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I never got to be in a club. I-I didn't go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.", "summary": "Ross had an affair with a woman named Anita who he met while working late in the library. She was gentle and tender, and they became close. However, when Monica found out, she was shocked and upset that Ross kept it a secret. Will and Phoebe join in on the conversation, with Phoebe expressing her desire to be part of the club as well."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right, y'know-Fine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! Monica Geller : All right, listen you're just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll! Rachel Green : Wow... Monica Geller : And Ross, if it weren't for Rachel's rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map! Ross Geller : As a romancer of the elderly. Monica Geller : Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty. Ross Geller : The eyes...did still sparkle. Monica Geller : Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-you've been through so much since then. And right now you've got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Can't you just let this go? Rachel Green : She's right. Ross Geller : Yeah. I mean we are having a baby together.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica argue about their high school experiences, with Rachel feeling hurt about a rumor that spread about her and Monica defending herself by pointing out that Ross was not well-known in high school until Rachel made him popular. They eventually move on from the conversation to focus on their current lives, including Ross's upcoming fatherhood."}
-{"dialogues": "Will Colbert : Hold on! You got her pregnant? Ross Geller : Yeah. Will Colbert : Are ya getting married? Ross Geller : Nope. Will Colbert : So you knocked her up but you're not gonna marry her. Dude! Anybody? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. It's exactly how I'd imagined it would be. Joey Tribbiani : All right where's that turkey! Phoebe Buffay : Joey! Those are my maternity pants! Joey Tribbiani : Not now! These are my Thanksgiving pants! Joey Tribbiani : Well that's it. I'm done. Whew! There come the meat sweats.", "summary": "Ross gets Phoebe pregnant but they decide not to get married. Meanwhile, Joey is distracted by his own Thanksgiving pants and Phoebe's maternity pants."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well Joey, we're all...we're all very proud of you. Chandler Bing : Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now. Phoebe Buffay : Is there anything we can do for you? Joey Tribbiani : No just, nobody press on my stomach. Rachel Green : You can keep those pants by the way. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-hey-wh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? Pie? Monica Geller : Yeah, you want some? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, just cut me a little sliver. A little bigger. Little bigger. What?! Are you afraid you're gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece! Monica Geller : Hey! So what do you think? Chandler Bing : New haircut? Necklace? Dress? Boots? Boots!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani receives praise from his friends for an unspecified achievement. Chandler Bing expects a call from the President, while Phoebe Buffay offers support. Joey asks for attention and food, and Monica Geller provides pie."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yes! Now, they're a little more than I normally spend on boots...or rent Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : I'm gonna miss being able to afford food. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, they just, they just look so good! And the saleswoman was looking at me like, \"Oh, these are way too expensive for you.\" Chandler Bing : She had a point. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh Monica! Those boots are amazing! Monica Geller : They're mine!", "summary": "Monica buys expensive boots and Chandler can't afford food due to their cost. Rachel admires the boots and Monica reveals they are hers."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah well, too bad we're gonna have to return them. Rachel Green : Return them?! Shh! They're gonna hear you! Monica Geller : Honey, I'm not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a lot, but I'm going to wear them all the time. You'll see. Besides, I love the compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it? Chandler Bing : I have you. Monica Geller : Nice try; I'm keeping the boots. Ross Geller : That's right, I love you! And-and I'm gonna play with you all the time. Phoebe Buffay : How can you let him talk to your crotch like that? Rachel Green : He's talking to the baby. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, \"I can't wait to hear your first words,\" I thought, \"There's a trick.\" Rachel Green : Okay. Well, I gotta go you guys. I'll see you later.", "summary": "The group returns some expensive boots they received as gifts, despite their initial excitement about them. Monica refuses to return them, saying she will wear them all the time and loves the compliments she receives. Ross tries to defend Monica's decision, but Phoebe is skeptical. Rachel leaves the conversation to go somewhere else."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : Bye. Rachel Green : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey Rach, listen-Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin' to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren... Rachel Green : No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, she's really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, y'know, to give her some advice. Rachel Green : I guess I can talk to one of my supervisors... Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!", "summary": "Rachel refuses to send more Ralph Lauren clothes to prison after being asked by Joey's sister Dina for advice on fashion."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Really?! Oh my God! I'm successful! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so will you meet with her? Rachel Green : Yes! I'd love to! Have her come by the office. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Thanks! You're gonna love her so much. And-Oh, she's the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, y'know the S.A.T's? Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : She took 'em! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Ross! Doesn't Ben go to the Smithfield Day School? Ross Geller : Yeah. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Sting has a son that goes there too! Ross Geller : Yeah I know; he's in Ben's class.", "summary": "Rachel meets with a successful woman who is also named Rachel and wants to meet her at the office. Joey agrees to set up the meeting. They discuss SAT scores and schools, including Smithfield Day School and Sting's son attending the same school as Ben."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?! Ross Geller : Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? Phoebe Buffay : Sting's son, seven years old and there's a picture. Ross Geller : What are you reading? The Kidnappers Guide to Manhattan Private Schools? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's New York magazine. It's an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting? Ross Geller : Uh, I actually haven't even met him. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah that's too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but it's totally sold out. I know! Why don't you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two I'll take you. Ross Geller : Well actually, I'm picking Ben up tomorrow, maybe he'll be there. Phoebe Buffay : There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting tomorrow! That's why you have kids! Monica Geller : Hey guys!", "summary": "Phoebe wants to attend a sold-out Sting concert and asks Ross if he knows how to get tickets. Ross reveals he hasn't met Sting despite knowing him for years and offers to ask Ben, who might be able to get them tickets."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey-hey. Rachel Green : Hi Monica! Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi boots. Monica Geller : See Chandler? I'm getting a lot of use out of them already! They're very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants... Chandler Bing : You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! They're beautiful! Rachel Green : Ahh... Monica Geller : They hurt so much! Phoebe Buffay : What?!", "summary": "Rachel buys new boots and shows them to Monica and Chandler, who make fun of her for spending money on impractical shoes. Phoebe admires their beauty but Monica complains that they hurt."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die! Rachel Green : Well-well you can give them to me! I haven't felt my feet in years! Monica Geller : I can't! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that I'd wear them all the time, I just can't give them away! Phoebe Buffay : Well then get your money back and return them! Monica Geller : I can't do that either! The soles' are already a little scuffed up and the insides are filled with my blood. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey I uh just picked up Ben from school... Chandler Bing : I don't think you did a very thorough job! Ross Geller : I dropped him off at Carol's. Anyway, it turns out that I'm not going to be able to get those tickets though.", "summary": "The gang discusses shoes and their feet, with Monica unable to give away a pair of expensive new shoes due to damage and blood inside. Phoebe suggests getting a refund, but Monica cannot do that either due to scuffs on the soles and her own blood inside. Meanwhile, Ross picks up Ben from school and Chandler criticizes his parenting. The conversation ends with Ross revealing he cannot get tickets for an event."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Why not? Ross Geller : Well it turns out that Ben and Sting's son do not get along. Phoebe Buffay : How come?! Ross Geller : Apparently, Sting's son made fun of the fact that Ben's moms are lesbinims. Phoebe Buffay : Wait! But Ross if they don't get along then you should smooth things over. Make them be friends. Ross Geller : Phoebe, you can't force kids to be friends. Phoebe Buffay : Sure you can! Give them some blocks, put them in a playpen! Ross Geller : Playpen?! Ben's seven! Phoebe Buffay : Your kid is seven?! He's really small. Please! Please get the tickets! Ross Geller : Look I'm sorry Pheebs, I can't do it.", "summary": "Ben and Sting's son don't get along because Sting's son made fun of Ben's moms being lesbians. Phoebe tries to force them to be friends by putting them in a playpen, but Ross refuses."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yes you can! Sting says so himself! Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Rosssss can! Ross Geller : Look Phoebe, I'm sorry it's just... Phoebe Buffay : Rossss can! Ross Geller : Phoebe, I... Phoebe Buffay : Rosss can! Give me the tickets! Ross can give me the tickets!! Joey Tribbiani : Here she is! Future fashion superstar! Rachel Green : Oh Joey, I'm hardly a... Joey Tribbiani : My little sister Dina!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe argue over tickets to a Sting concert."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Right! Hi Dina! Dina : Hi. Rachel Green : Nice to meet you. Dina : Thanks so much for meetin' with me. Joey's told me so much about you! Joey Tribbiani : This is so exciting for her. Well, I'll let you two fash...ists get down to business. Rachel Green : Okay. All right Dina, well let's talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Let's see, there's design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, there's-there's sales, which is great because you get to travel... Dina : I...I don't care about fashion! I'm pregnant! And I know you are too, so you gotta help me! Rachel Green : And there's marketing... Monica Geller : Ahhhhhhhh! Chandler Bing : What's wrong?", "summary": "Dina reveals that she is pregnant and needs help with fashion-related areas. Rachel offers to assist her in design, sales, marketing, or other related fields."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh nothing I'm just-just was yawning. Chandler Bing : Oh don't forget, my office holiday party is tonight. Monica Geller : Honey, we don't really have to go to this thing tonight do we? Chandler Bing : Now sweetie, I know you don't like my office parties, but you can wear your new boots. See? Every cloud has a...supple leather lining. Monica Geller : I-I don't-I don't think that I'm gonna wear the boots tonight. Chandler Bing : Why not? Monica Geller : Well y'know, I'm just-I'm just worried that bosses will see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them and-and want a raise! Chandler Bing : Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company? Monica Geller : Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots don't really go with it. Chandler Bing : You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!", "summary": "Monica doesn't want to attend Chandler's office holiday party due to concerns about her new boots being noticed and potentially leading to a raise or promotion. Chandler teases Monica about her boot purchase and suggests she wear the outfit with the boots despite not going well together."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Fine! If you want me to wear the boots, I'll wear the boots. In fact, I'll go into my room right now and y'know try the outfit on. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay? Ooo wee! Christmas party in my boots! Dina : I-I can't go in there. I can't tell him! Rachel Green : Honey, it's going to be okay. He's been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; that's what the meatball sub is for. Dina : Thank you. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! It's my fashion girls! What's wrong? Rachel Green : Honey, why don't you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. What's, what's going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dad's heart? Is that a sandwich?", "summary": "Monica wears boots to a Christmas party and Dina can't tell Chandler, while Rachel is supportive of Dina and Joey offers unsolicited advice."}
-{"dialogues": "Dina : Joe, mom and dad are fine... Joey Tribbiani : Is that a sandwich?! Rachel Green : Joey...there's something that you...should know. Dina? Dina : I'm pregnant. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! Joey Tribbiani : Well obviously this is a mistake! You can't be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant! Dina : Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25 like you did! Rachel Green : What?! Dina... Joey Tribbiani : Bub!!! I can't believe this! You're the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!", "summary": "Dina reveals she is pregnant, which shocks Joey and Rachel. They have a conversation about how Dina tried to wait until she was 25 like Joey did, but ultimately got pregnant anyway."}
-{"dialogues": "Dina : Bobby Corso, but he's a real nice guy. I like him a lot. He's real funny. Joey Tribbiani : You got pregnant for funny?! Dina...if he's funny...laugh! All right, I'll be back in a little while! You stay here! Dina : Why? Where are you going? Joey Tribbiani : I can't look at you right now! Dina : Wow. Rachel Green : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, there you are Ben! Ben Geller : Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I heard you're having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boy's name is Sting's son. Ben Geller : Jack? I hate him! He's a jerk.", "summary": "Dina likes Bobby Corso but he is mean to her. Joey makes a comment about Dina getting pregnant for funny. Dina and Joey have an argument, and Joey leaves. Phoebe arrives and hears Ben talking about a boy in his class named Jack, who he hates."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers. Ben Geller : I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. Phoebe Buffay : Him you're friends with. The Teacher : Excuse me. Can, can I help you with something? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Yes you can, I'm looking for Jack's parents. The Teacher : Are you with one of the students? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, I'm with Ben. The Teacher : Are you one of Ben's mothers? Phoebe Buffay : I am one of Ben's mothers. I'm a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents. The Teacher : Well hi, I'm Jenny Boone. I'm the new teacher here.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is searching for Jack's parents with Ben Geller as her accomplice. They encounter a new teacher named Jenny Boone who asks if they are related to one of the students. Phoebe reveals that she is a lesbian and discusses the challenges she faced in coming out to her parents."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. The Teacher : I've only met your partner Carol. Phoebe Buffay : Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan. The Teacher : Right. Are you looking for Jack's parents to discuss the problems he's having with Ben? Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Let's do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them? The Teacher : Oh, their number is on the contact sheet. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? 'Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. She's such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass. Chandler Bing : Y'know, that party wasn't bad. Monica Geller : Yeah! I didn't know there would be dancing. That was a fun surprise! Chandler Bing : I don't see any uh, cabs. Maybe we should just walk?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Phoebe Buffay and her lover Carol trying to get in touch with Jack's parents to discuss the issues he is having with Ben. The teacher suggests they sit down and have a conversation, but Phoebe asks for a copy of their contact information, as Carol threw away the original. Meanwhile, Chandler and Monica are discussing a party they attended and whether or not there was dancing."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh no, we can't walk! Chandler Bing : What honey, it's like fifteen blocks to the subway. Let's go. Monica Geller : Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb down through the manhole cover? Chandler Bing : What's going on? Monica Geller : I can't walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! They're killing me! One toe at a time! Chandler Bing : So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. It's oddly unsettling. Monica Geller : How are we gonna get home? Maybe a piggy-back ride? Chandler Bing : Hop on.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler can't walk home because of her boots, so they try to find another way to the subway. They climb down through a manhole cover but end up getting stuck. Monica admits that she made a mistake buying the boots and Chandler gloats that he was right. They consider getting a piggy-back ride home."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. Ah...Ooh...Oohh...Ohh...Oh God...Ohh...Oh...Ohh...Ohhhh... Chandler Bing : Honey, I know you're in pain right now, but I'm a little turned on. Dina : Do you ever worry that you'll be walking and your baby will just like slip out? Rachel Green : What college was that Dina? Dina : Oh my God! Bobby! Bobby Corso : Hi Dina. Good to see you. Rachel Green : Joey, what are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman... Rachel Green : Oh Joey this is crazy! Joey Tribbiani : Don't interrupt me when I'm talkin' to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man...", "summary": "Dina worries about her baby slipping out while walking, Chandler is turned on by Monica's pain, Rachel can't remember which college she went to, Joey is performing a wedding ceremony, and Monica experiences intense physical discomfort."}
-{"dialogues": "Dina : No! Joey Tribbiani : Oh you'll take 'em! Dina : No I won't! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You don't get a say in this! Dina : Yes I do! Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh! I heard \"I do\", we're halfway there! Okay! You! Rachel Green : All right Joey! That is enough! Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, it's not legal. Okay? They-they don't have a marriage license, they don't have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe! Bobby Corso : Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it. Joey Tribbiani : Well what am I supposed to do? Rachel Green : You're supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A couple gets married without a marriage license or witnesses, and the groom only has one shoe. The ceremony is beautiful but not legal."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No they can't! They were stupid enough to get knocked up! Rachel Green : Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! Right? Bobby Corso : Yeah...we kinda didn't use any... Rachel Green : Oh, come on kids! A little help here! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! This place is incredible! Sting's pen...that he gave to Phoebe. Come on! Secret passageway! Trudie Styler : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Trudie Styler : I'm Trudie. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Trudie Styler : You must be Ben's mum.", "summary": "Rachel gets pregnant after a one-night stand and the gang tries to help her figure out who the father is; meanwhile, Phoebe discovers a secret passageway in their favorite coffee shop and becomes obsessed with it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Why else would I be here? Trudie Styler : Do sit down. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Trudie Styler : I gather Jack and Ben haven't been getting along lately. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Trudie Styler : I'm told there are two sides to this story, but all I've heard is that Ben's a bit of a poo-poo head. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I'm sorry. Won't-won't Jack's father be joining us? Trudie Styler : Oh I'm sorry, Jack's father is not available. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Okay. Well then, could we reschedule? For say, Friday night perhaps at 8 o'clock? Trudie Styler : Oh no, I know that wouldn't work. My husband's in concert.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nPhoebe Buffay and Trudie Styler discuss Jack and Ben's conflicts, with Trudie expressing her disappointment in Ben's behavior. They also discuss rescheduling a meeting for Friday night."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Concert. Yeah. That does put us in...quite a pickle. Because you see I'm very busy before and after the concert, and he's obviously busy during. Trudie Styler : So, I guess you and I should talk about Jack and Ben right now. Phoebe Buffay : Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course. Trudie Styler : Are you here for tickets? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you. Four would be great. Trudie Styler : I'm not giving concert tickets to someone who'd use their son like this! Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Then you're in luck! Ben's not my son! Trudie Styler : Look, I've just pressed a button, triggering a silent alarm. Any minute now, the police will be here! Phoebe Buffay : The Police? Here? A reunion?! Chandler Bing : Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.", "summary": "Phoebe and Trudie discuss a concert and the fact that Phoebe's busy before and after, while Trudie is busy during. Phoebe suggests going to the concert while thinking about the children, but Trudie refuses to give her concert tickets. Phoebe then reveals that Ben is not her son, and Trudie triggers a silent alarm, leading the police to arrive."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh wait! Stop! Stop! Stop! Chandler Bing : Oh I'm sorry! Do you need a break? Monica Geller : My boots in tan! Hey! Can you get a little closer so I can see the price? Chandler Bing : I can see it from right here. It'll cost you one husband. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm sorry. I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just-just give me my boots. Chandler Bing : I don't have your boots. Monica Geller : Well I don't have them either. Where are they? Chandler Bing : Well, why don't you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay! Monica Geller : Okay. God well, we gotta go back and get them! Chandler Bing : Honey, are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again?", "summary": "Monica wants to see the price tag on a pair of boots, but Chandler teases her about them being too tight. They argue and Monica accuses Chandler of taking her boots."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, I'm never gonna wear them again. I just didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones. Monica Geller : Okay. All right. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Bye boots-Wait! Half off?! Rachel Green : Joey, just because they're not getting married doesn't mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan! Joey Tribbiani : Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Let's hear their plan! Now, what's the future look like for Dina and Bobby? Bobby Corso : Well...I really have high hopes for my band. Joey Tribbiani : You were right. He is funny. Rachel Green : Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why don't you tell us a little bit about your band?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over a pair of boots, while Rachel tries to reassure Joey that their friend Dina and her fianc\u00e9 Bobby have a plan for their future despite not getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Bobby Corso : Well it's just me and my pal Rooster, the band's name is Numb Nuts. Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Dina, if you're having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! Dude, that's not a compliment! Dina : No Joey! I knew you wouldn't be supportive! Joey Tribbiani : So whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you gonna do? You're gonna have the baby and-and raise it by yourself...without a husband?! You can't be a single mother alone! You're gonna ruin your life! Rachel Green : Oh excuse me! Am I ruining my life? Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! It's different for you. You're so strong and together. You're not some dumb kid who doesn't know what she's doing. Dina : Excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay. Rachel Green : So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?", "summary": "Dina gets upset when Joey suggests she should get married before having a baby. Joey thinks Dina should be with Bobby, but Dina disagrees. Rachel defends Dina and says forcing her to marry Bobby won't solve anything."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Maybe! Well! Well...so-so uh, what kind of music does Numb Nuts-Oh forget it! I can't! Dina : Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, I'm just gonna need some help. And Bobby's gonna be here the whole time. Bobby Corso : You bet I am! And to answer your earlier question, we're straight-up gangster rap. Dina : Look, Rachel's told me how much easier you've made all this on her. Why can't you do that for me? Joey Tribbiani : Because! 'Cause... 'Cause you're my baby sister! Dina : And you're my big brother! I mean, you're my favorite guy in the whole world. I'm not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you. Joey Tribbiani : Well I'd be scared of them, but all right. Dina : Joey, I can't stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Of course he's gonna have his Uncle Joey! Dina : We're gonna be all right. I mean, even if we're not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.", "summary": "Dina is pregnant and scared about telling her brother Joey, who is initially reluctant but eventually agrees to help her. They decide to have a gangster rap-themed baby shower, with Bobby as the emcee. Dina is worried about Joey's anger towards her, but he reassures her that he will be there for the baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That's right! By his uncle too! Bobby Corso : And by you. Rachel Green : Okay Bobby, why don't we just come over here and let them have a little moment. Joey Tribbiani : Come here! Rachel Green : No! Seriously! What's wrong with you?! Ross Geller : You're gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?! Ross Geller : Well...let's just say... Rosss caaaaan! Phoebe Buffay : Oo, where are the seats? Ross Geller : Uh, middle balcony.", "summary": "Ross buys Sting tickets and tries to impress Phoebe with them, but she becomes obsessed with getting closer to him. Meanwhile, Joey and Bobby tease Rachel about her crush on Ross, and she gets angry."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now would you say that that's more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family? Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Then that's not breaking the law! I'm there! Rachel Green :  Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : Look at that guy by the window, wow! Phoebe Buffay : He's awfully short and I think he's talking to himself. And to be completely honest, he's not that good in bed. Rachel Green : Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean it's like every guy I see-I mean look here. Look at that guy for example, I mean normally that's not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way I'm feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right? Rachel Green : Yeah.", "summary": "Phoebe and Ross discuss whether someone is breaking the law by being close to Sting's wife or family. Rachel enters the conversation and expresses her recent attraction to short men, despite normally finding them unappealing. Phoebe questions if Rachel is pregnant again, given her current mood."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start going crazy. Rachel Green : Really?! So this has happened to you? Phoebe Buffay : Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind, now, I was carrying triplets so in, y'know, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy. Rachel Green : Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santa's lap. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker. Rachel Green : Ah. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well, y'know what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, I'll ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Yeah, that's what you need a good...pill. Mona : Hey! Hey!", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel discuss pregnancy and the changes that come with it, including increased sexual desire (or \"randiness\"). Phoebe reveals that she was carrying triplets, which explains her unusual behavior. Rachel mentions that she will see her doctor the next day to ask about a pill or treatment for her symptoms. Mona interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hi! Mona : Hi! Look! I got our pictures developed from Rockefeller Center. Ross Geller : Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. Ross Geller : Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together? Mona : Oh yeah, probably at the end. Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts! Joey Tribbiani : I'm missin' picture time?! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know she has a face Ross! Mona : Okay. Okay, here's a good one of us. Ross Geller : Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card y'know, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.", "summary": "Ross and Mona go ice skating at Rockefeller Center and get their pictures developed. Joey is too busy to look at the photos, but Ross finds a creepy pretzel vendor's photo of them together. Mona realizes the vendor only took pictures of her breasts, while Phoebe jokes that she has a face. Ross compliments Mona on one of their photos, which looks like a holiday card."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : Y'know, every year I say I'm gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together? Ross Geller : Together? Like-like to people? Mona : Yeah, y'know. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. It'll be cute, okay? Ross Geller : Okay. Mona : Oh, I gotta get to work. So call me later? Ross Geller : Uh sure, sure. Mona : Bye guys. Phoebe Buffay : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Congratulations! You just got married! Ross Geller : I know. Can you believe that?", "summary": "Mona wants to send out holiday cards but never does. Ross offers to help her send them together. They plan to include a message of \"Happy holidays from Mona and Ross.\" Phoebe and Joey interrupt their conversation and congratulate Ross on getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wait, I'm-I'm sorry. What's the big deal about a holiday card? Ross Geller : Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey, hey that's your wife you're talking about! Doug : Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette! Chandler Bing : Honey, you remember my boss Doug right? Monica Geller : Yes, hi. Doug : Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M. Chandler Bing : I didn't know you and Carol were getting divorced, I'm sorry. Doug : Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though! Monica Geller : No leg-chewing for us sir.", "summary": "Ross is upset about Phoebe not sending a holiday card, which leads to a discussion about married and unmarried people sending cards. Joey and Chandler chime in with their own thoughts. Meanwhile, Monica reveals that Doug has finally finalized his divorce from Carol."}
-{"dialogues": "Doug : Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, we've got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night? Monica Geller : I can't think of anything we're doing. Why can't I think of anything we're doing? Doug : Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park! Monica Geller : Okay, I'll see you tomorrow! Just so you know, we're not seeing him tomorrow. I-I cannot spend another evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding? Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : That's because he wasn't invited because of the way he behaved at our engagement party. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesn't it? Mona : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! Mona : Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card. What do you think?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler plan to go out for dinner tomorrow night, but Monica is hesitant due to Ross's previous behavior at their wedding and engagement party. Doug mentions that he will be finished with court by 6pm, and Chandler makes a joke about urine cutting through an ice sculpture."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Huh. Wow, this is great. Mona : Now, do you think it should say, \"Love Ross and Mona?\" Ross Geller : Well, we-we haven't said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people. Mona : How many did you want? I'm getting a hundred. Ross Geller : A hundred?! Well, I-I guess I'll take a-Mona, uh...I-I'm not sure about the whole uh, card thing. Mona : Really? Why not? Ross Geller : Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just don't know if we're really quite there yet. Mona : Oh y'know, I didn't think of it that way. You're right. You're right. So, can I ask you a question? Ross Geller : Yeah. Mona : Where are we?", "summary": "Ross and Mona discuss sending holiday cards together, with Ross expressing hesitation about including their relationship on the card."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Huh. Mona : Y'know, like where are we? Where is this relationship going? Ross Geller : Hmm... Mona : I mean I love spending time with you, y'know I just-I hope we're moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Don't you think? Ross Geller : Let's do the card! Mona : What? Ross Geller : The card! I think we're there! Mona : Okay. I-But I think we should still have this conversation. Ross Geller : Really?! I mean, even with the card? Nurse : Hi!", "summary": "Ross and Mona are on a date and discussing their relationship. They agree to play a game of \"should we talk about it\" before deciding to move forward together."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Nurse : Just so you know, Dr. Long can't be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you. Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Y'know who I'm talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers... Dr. Schiff : Hi Rachel? I'm Dr. Schiff. Rachel Green : Yes, you are. Dr. Schiff : So, how's it going? Rachel Green : Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do? Dr. Schiff : I'm a doctor. Rachel Green : Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend? Dr. Schiff : Uh, I don't have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.", "summary": "Rachel Green goes for a medical check-up and meets Dr. Schiff, who will be seeing her instead of Dr. Long. Rachel asks Dr. Schiff about his personal life, including if he cooks, skis, or has a romantic partner."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?! Dr. Schiff : So, are you experiencing any discomfort? Rachel Green : No. I'm very comfortable. Dr. Schiff : Any painful gas? Rachel Green : No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?! Dr. Schiff : Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table? Rachel Green : Well would you like me to lie down on the table? Dr. Schiff : I'm sorry, is there something going on here? Rachel Green : Do you feel it too? Rachel Green : Hi.", "summary": "Rachel Green loves skiing and is excited about it, but then starts experiencing discomfort. She sees a doctor named Dr. Schiff, who asks her if she's feeling any pain or gas. Rachel is confused by the question and asks if he would like her to lie down on a table. The doctor clarifies that there may be something going on with Rachel, and she responds by saying \"Hi.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! So, how did your doctor's appointment go? Rachel Green : Well, let's see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Why did you do that? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me. Phoebe Buffay : You wish. Monica Geller : Hey, I could've had you if I wanted you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah? Come and get it. Rachel Green : Okay, even this is turning me on!", "summary": "Phoebe gets a cute doctor during her exam, puts her pinky in his chin dimple, and Monica teases her about it. Phoebe mentions an earlier problem she had during pregnancy, which Monica jokes about. Rachel joins in and they all flirt with each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how's it, how's it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, yeah we're moving forward. You'll be getting our card! Monica Geller : You and Mona are doing a holiday card together? Ross Geller : Yeah, we're not just doing a card! Y'know, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going. Phoebe Buffay : Ugh! Women! Ross Geller : I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, \"So, where is this going?\" Rachel Green : Uh Ross? You asked me that. Ross Geller : Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? I'm not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. I'm horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Y'know, something that says we're moving forward without having to talk about it. Monica Geller : Like asking her to move in with you?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a casual conversation about his relationship with Mona, with Ross revealing that they are still together and planning on including her in their holiday card. Phoebe expresses her frustration at the expectation that women always have to have \"the talk\" about the future of a relationship, while Monica suggests that Ross could show his commitment through a gesture like asking Mona to move in with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Smaller than that. Monica Geller : Making her a mixed tape? Ross Geller : Uh, bigger than that. Phoebe Buffay : Give her a key to your apartment. Ross Geller : Whoa-hello! We were closer with the mixed tape. Monica Geller : All right. Have you said, \"I love you?\" You could say, I love you. Ross Geller : Yeah I-I don't-I don't think I'm quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you. Phoebe Buffay : No, we hate that. Monica Geller : That is a slap in the face. Ross Geller : Forget it. I-I-Y'know what? I'll just have the conversation. I'll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?", "summary": "Ross tries to make a mixed tape for Rachel but changes his mind when Monica suggests giving her a key to his apartment. Phoebe disagrees and suggests saying \"I love you,\" but Ross isn't ready for that yet. He decides to have an honest conversation with Rachel, hoping for the best outcome."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater. Doug : Bing! We're all set for tonight, 8 o'clock. Chandler Bing : Oh uh, as it turns out, we can't do it. Monica has to work. Doug : Oh, my ex-wife didn't work, unless you call turning into her mother work. Fine. Tomorrow night then. Chandler Bing : Oh uh well tomorrow's no good for her either. Doug : Oh? Why not? Chandler Bing : It's the semi-finals...of her...botchy ball tournament. Doug : What's going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something? Chandler Bing : Well now-now you're just talking crazy. Doug : So why can't the three of us go out together?", "summary": "The group plans to go out for dinner but are unable to make it due to scheduling conflicts. Chandler's wife has a tournament to attend and Monica has to work."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Because uh...we-we...we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me. Doug : Good God Bing I...well I can't say I'm altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust. Chandler Bing : Y'know what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya? Doug : Bing my boy, we're gonna get you over this. Now here's the plan, grab your coat, we're going to a strip club. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. But to hell with that bitch. Ross Geller : Here we go. Mona umm, I think it's time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us. Mona : Yeah, I-I think I suggested that. Ross Geller : Aw, we-we are so... So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, y'know hanging out with you. And I mean-I'm having a lot of fun. Mona : Okay. Ross Geller : I mean, there's no point in spending time with someone if-if it's just fun. It's gotta be, it's gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? Ah! That's-that's the real question. And-and the answer is...is it's going somewhere...fun. Now I-I know what you're thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago y'know, but you're-you're not getting any younger. No I mean-No not you, not you, you-you are getting younger. I mean-you-you look like you're getting younger by the second-What's your secret?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have broken up, and Chandler is struggling to cope with the heartbreak. Doug tries to comfort him by suggesting a visit to a strip club, but Chandler is hesitant due to Monica's potential reaction. Meanwhile, Ross confides in Mona about his feelings for her and the lack of direction in their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : I'm sorry, so umm, so where are we? Ross Geller : Well, well to sum up, we're having fun, you look young. Mona : Okay... Ross Geller : But that's not enough. So... So...here's a key to my apartment. Mona : Really?! Ross Geller : Really. Mona : You don't think this is too fast. Rachel Green : You gave her a key to your apartment?! Ross Geller : Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ooh Ross! How'd the conversation go?", "summary": "Ross gives Mona the only key to his apartment, indicating a seriousness in their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh great, I live on the street. Phoebe Buffay : Where?! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger. Roger : Hey everybody. Monica Geller : Hi Roger. Phoebe Buffay : So umm, I'm gonna get us some drinks. Would you help me out? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, he's here to have sex with you. Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Ross lives on the street and Phoebe wants to get drinks for everyone. However, Roger is there to have sex with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome. Rachel Green : Phoebe no! Phoebe Buffay : It's okay, he's a virgin. Monica Geller : Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think he'll have sex with you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay let's leave these two alone. Rachel Green : No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! Doug : Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh? Chandler Bing : Oh that's all right sir, and that's just one girl. Doug : Bing-What's this?!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica try to set Rachel up with a guy, but she rejects the idea. Phoebe tries to intervene, saying the guy is a virgin. The scene ends with Doug offering Chandler a lap dance from two twin sisters."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It's a hand. It's a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder. Doug : No, it's a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. We're gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there! Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no! Doug : Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, y'know I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head. Ross Geller : Okay, and oh I'm gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give them away for no reason at all. Mona : Hey Ross, what's going on? You changing the lock? Ross Geller : No. That guy is. Mona : I don't understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock. Locksmith : Good luck buddy. Mona : Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now you're-you're sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?", "summary": "Chandler and Doug argue over a wedding ring, while Ross gets frustrated with giving away extra keys for no reason. Mona becomes confused as Ross changes the lock on their apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm trying to tell you I made you a mix tape. Mona : What? Ross Geller : I love you! Mona : Ohh! And I love spending time with you. Chandler Bing : Hi honey I'm home. Monica Geller : From the tequila factory? Chandler Bing : It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldn't give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird! Monica Geller : Come here. I can breath through my mouth. Chandler Bing : Y'know what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like It's a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives. Monica Geller : I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?", "summary": "Ross makes Mona a mix tape, revealing his love for her. Chandler joins them and shares his horrible experience at a tequila factory with Doug. Chandler pretends to be single to avoid dinner with him, but ends up in strip clubs and bars instead. Monica promises to never leave Chandler and they vow to spend the rest of their lives together. They suggest sending out a holiday card to friends and family."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ooh, I don't know if we're there yet. Rachel Green : Yes. Hi, I'd like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very Ambercrombie & Fitch. I'll call you back. Joey Tribbiani : Who was that? Rachel Green : It's just the pizza place. Joey Tribbiani : You hung up on the pizza place? I don't hang up on your friends. Rachel Green : I'm sorry honey, I'm just having a, having a rough day. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, what's wrong? Rachel Green : Oh you really, you really just don't want to hear about it. Joey Tribbiani : Then why did I ask? Rachel Green : Okay, it's just-and this is really embarrassing-but lately with this whole pregnancy thing I'm just finding myself...how do I put this umm, erotically charged.", "summary": "Rachel gets a pizza delivery and talks to the person on the phone, who she thinks is cute. She hangs up on them and then admits to Joey that she's having an \"erotic\" day due to her pregnancy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Is that college talk for horny? Rachel Green : Yeah. So y'know, I have all of these feelings and I don't know what to do about them, because I can't date like a normal person, which is fine because I don't need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, y'know? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what he's doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so...hard...to find. So how was your day? Joey Tribbiani : Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon. Rachel Green : Well, I gotta get up early and it's almost seven o'clock. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too. Rachel Green : Okay, good night! Joey Tribbiani : Good night. Joey Tribbiani : I can't do it! Rachel Green : I didn't ask you to do it! Joey Tribbiani : You're Rachel!", "summary": "Rachel has feelings but doesn't know what to do about them. She wants a one-night stand without a relationship or strings attached. Joey can't do it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You're Joey! Joey Tribbiani : You're my friend! Rachel Green : Right back at ya! Joey Tribbiani : But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad. Rachel Green : And so bad. I don't even know what you're talking about because I didn't ask you to do anything! Joey Tribbiani : I know! Joey Tribbiani : Do you wanna do it? Rachel Green : No! Joey Tribbiani : All right, me neither! I was just testing you! Rachel Green : That's the end of this conversation!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey have a conversation where Joey suggests doing something that would be \"wrong and weird and bad.\" Rachel says no and the conversation ends."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : This conversation never happened! Rachel Green : Never happened! Good night! Joey Tribbiani : Good night! Joey Tribbiani : Get back in there! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Listen, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasn't right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think you'll really enjoy. Now, this is just a loan. Okay? I'm gonna, I'm gonna want him back. So... I'm gonna go now. I'm sorry, I thought I could do it and I can't! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! I got you a present!! Chandler Bing : Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it? Phoebe Buffay : I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here! Chandler Bing : Pheebs you didn't have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang... Monica Geller : I love it! It's huge!! Let's open it! Open it!!", "summary": "Rachel denies a conversation ever happened, Joey tries to get her back in the conversation, Phoebe brings a gift for Chandler and Monica, and they open it together."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It's a Ms. Pac-Man machine!! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : I didn't know where to put it so I just left it here for now. Monica Geller : Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay. Monica Geller : All right. Chandler Bing : I kinda like it here. Phoebe Buffay : Do you really like it? Monica Geller : Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is like-Oh my, this is like my second favorite game! Phoebe Buffay : Oh really? What was your first?", "summary": "Ms. Pac-Man machine appears in the apartment, causing tension among roommates. Monica suggests putting it in the guest bedroom, but Chandler prefers it where it is. Phoebe and Monica share their fond memories of arcade games, with Monica ranking Ms. Pac-Man as her second favorite."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well I-I really don't remember the name of it. Chandler Bing : Well what did it do? Monica Geller : Well, you just-you put a quarter in and y'know pull-pull some handles and win like a candy bar or something. Chandler Bing : A vending machine? Monica Geller : Don't feel bad for me! I won like every time! Ross Geller : Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you guys are here. I've been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today. Joey Tribbiani : Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out? Ross Geller : Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so.... Rachel Green : They made you head of the department! Ross Geller : No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! Why didn't I get head of the department?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss a vending machine they used in college, while Ross reveals that he was made head of the Paleontology department and will be teaching one of Professor Neuman's classes."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Hey Rach, listen umm... Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : I got a big date coming up, do you know a good restaurant? Rachel Green : Uh, Paul's Caf. They got great food and it's really romantic. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, great! Thanks! Rachel Green : Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancing-Oh! Take her dancing! Joey Tribbiani : You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, I'll tell ya... Rachel Green : Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin' all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. I'm not gonna be able to do that for so long, and it's so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know what? Rachel Green : Huh?", "summary": "Joey has a big date coming up and asks Rachel for recommendations on a good restaurant. Rachel suggests Paul's Cafe, which she claims is great and romantic. Joey thanks her and then makes a comment about how Rachel keeps naming different ways to postpone sex. Rachel misses dating and going out to fancy restaurants, but also enjoys the idea of having a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Why don't I take you out? Rachel Green : What?! Joey, you don't want to go on a date with a pregnant lady. Joey Tribbiani : Yes I do! And we're gonna go out, we're gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out... Rachel Green : Okay! I'll go with ya! I'll go! I'll go with ya. Joey Tribbiani : I'll be fun. Rachel Green : All right? Phoebe Buffay : No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm next. Don't! Don't start another game! I said I'm next! Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you over all the winning. Monica Geller : Chandler! Phoebe's hogging the game!", "summary": "Joey asks Rachel out on a date despite her pregnancy, but she agrees to go with him. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Monica play a video game, with Phoebe accidentally knocking off Monica's high scores."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Who cares? It's a stupid game. Monica Geller : You only think it's stupid because you suck at it. Chandler Bing : I don't suck. It's sucks. You suck. Phoebe Buffay : Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause problems between the two of you, then maybe I should just keep it. Monica Geller : No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why don't you go home and wait for the thank you card? Chandler Bing : Why do you want to play this game so bad? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! It's not like it spits out a Clark bar after every game. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe that's it. Come on, get out-out of the chair. Get out! Oh come...Phoebe! Rachel Green : Joey? Could you get that? What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room? Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm picking you up for our date. These are for you.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica play a game together but Chandler doesn't do well at it, causing tension between them. Phoebe suggests she keep the game as a present, but Monica insists on playing it with Chandler. The game leads to further conflict between the two, with Phoebe eventually leaving the room."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ohh, Lilies. Joey, they're my favorite. Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : And, a brownie! Well, half a brownie. Actually, it's just bag. It's been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin' to feel faint so... Rachel Green : Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like I'm going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and I'm wearing underwear that goes up to about......there. Joey Tribbiani : Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so...nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman. Rachel Green : Yeah, actually that's my roommate's. Joey Tribbiani : I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy. Rachel Green : Ah yes, but he's very protective of me so you'd better watch yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Ah... Hey, so this roommate of yours...is he good looking? Rachel Green : Hm-mmm. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?", "summary": "Rachel and Joey go on a date, with Rachel feeling faint and wearing uncomfortable underwear. Joey tries to make small talk and compliments Rachel's roommate. Rachel teases him about her roommate's attractiveness."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's gay. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no, he's not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on! Ross Geller : ...which brings us back, of course, to Greely's theory of dominance. Okay, that-that's all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is? Student : Yeah, it's the new building on Avenue A. Ross Geller : What?! That-that's all the way cross town, I'm supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes. Student : Ooh, dude. That's not gonna happen. Ross Geller : Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! I'm the teacher!! Ross Geller : Hello. I'm sorry I'm a little late. Ah--Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. So to sum up, I'm Professor Geller. Good job today. Rachel Green : Now the filet mignon, what comes with that? Waitress : There's a side of steamed vegetables.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss whether or not Joey is gay, while Joey insists he's not. Meanwhile, Ross is trying to find the Freeman building for his graduate seminar, but gets lost and late."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Bring her both, and I'll have the same. Rachel Green : Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good date-Oh, I almost forgot. I didn't pay you the rent check. Joey Tribbiani : Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? We're on a date. Rachel Green : Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves? Joey Tribbiani : No! No. Umm, just myself and if they don't like me for- I'm sorry I couldn't even get through that. Rachel Green : I knew it! I knew it. Come on tell me your moves. Joey Tribbiani : Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan. Rachel Green : Oh my God. And that works?! Joey Tribbiani : Well it does when you combine it with, \"This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!\"", "summary": "Rachel and Joey go on a date, but their conversation quickly turns to unrelated topics such as rent checks and roommates. Joey tries to impress Rachel with his dating moves, but they ultimately don't work."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, you poor little famous man. Joey Tribbiani : Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but you're so beautiful...I don't think I can. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, so...so tell me one of your moves. Rachel Green : Alright. So where'd you grow up? Joey Tribbiani : That's your move? Boy Rach, you're lucky you're hot. Rachel Green : Come on, just answer the question! Joey Tribbiani : Queens. Rachel Green : And so were-were you close to your parents? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey have a conversation about their childhoods, with Joey sharing that he grew up in Queens and was close to his mother but not his father. Rachel almost leaned in for a kiss but stopped herself, and Joey teases her about being lucky she's attractive."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. I guess there's just always been this distance y'know-I mean we both try to pretend it's not there, but it is. Rachel Green : Oh. It's gotta be rough. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it is. It's really tough. Y'know sometimes I think-Wow!! Nice move! Rachel Green : Huh? Joey Tribbiani : \"Where'd you grow up,\" it's so simple! Rachel Green : Thank you! And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : And now you're watching me walk away. Joey Tribbiani : Yes I am! Again so simple!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around the distance between Rachel and Joey, which they both try to ignore but can't. They discuss how tough it is and sometimes joke about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : You are not going to believe what I did today! Monica Geller : Well it clearly wasn't showering or shaving. Chandler Bing : I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. Although I-I hope they don't. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?! Chandler Bing : Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! Monica Geller : What is the matter with your hand? Chandler Bing : Well I've been playing it for like eight hours, it'll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, they're dirty words. Monica Geller : Chandler, why would you do that? Chandler Bing : Because it's awesome.", "summary": "Monica stayed home from work while Chandler played Ms. Pac-Man all day and got top scores. He showed her his high score list, which included dirty initials."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You think this is clever? Chandler Bing : Well y'know, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge. Monica Geller : Hey wait a minute, this one isn't dirty. Chandler Bing : It is when you put it together with that one. Monica Geller : Ah, well if you don't clear this off, you won't be getting one of those from me. But Ben's coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this can't be there. Chandler Bing : Come on, he won't even know what they mean. Monica Geller : Chandler! He's seven; he's not stupid. Chandler Bing : Have you talked to him lately? Monica Geller : All right, look I'm just gonna unplug it. Chandler Bing : No-no-no, if you unplug it, I'll have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. No! Hey look at that! Look at that, it's still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM Chip in it or something!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler play a game where they try to come up with dirty words using only the letters provided. They have difficulty coming up with anything clean, but Monica eventually unplugs the device they are using when she realizes Ben will be over the next day and they don't want him to see any inappropriate content."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Honey you-you got to beat your scores! Chandler Bing : With the claw?! Monica Geller : All right fine. Fine, I'll do it. I've just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger. Chandler Bing : Pull my finger--My hand is messed up. Rachel Green : I am not gonna answer that! Joey Tribbiani : Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch? Rachel Green : No one! They are my friends, I wouldn't punch any of them. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Rachel Green : Yeah, but I don't know why. Look at me, I'm having such a wonderful time! Joey Tribbiani : Me too! Hey Rach, can I just say I think this is the best date I ever had!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over his inability to beat his scores. Carol and Susan are upset about Chandler teaching Joey a dirty joke. Rachel refuses to answer a question about who she would punch between her friends. Joey tries to initiate a conversation about punching but is quickly shut down. The group continues to enjoy their time together despite their small conflicts."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I know! Joey Tribbiani : I never laughed so hard-Did you see the wine come out of my nose? Rachel Green : Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta say, I never knew I could enjoy the non-sex part of the date so much. Rachel Green : Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Huh. Rachel Green : All right, now don't judge me. I normally wait until my date leaves, but you live here. I'm ripping into this swan. Joey Tribbiani : Ah! Okay, well then you don't judge me. I'm gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. Rachel Green : So tell me, what are Joey Tribbiani's end of the night moves? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.", "summary": "Joey and Rachel go on a date, during which they share laughs and enjoy each other's company. Joey reveals that he has never enjoyed a non-sexual part of a date as much as he did with Rachel, while Rachel admits to waiting until her date leaves to eat the food she wants. As they continue their conversation, they exchange funny anecdotes and move towards flirtation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : How do you do that? Joey Tribbiani : Now you can't tell anyone, but uh...I put on shiny lip balm. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, like a moth to a flame, I'm telling ya. Okay all right, so now you go. Rachel Green : No, I don't want to tell you. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Rachel Green : Because it's embarrassing. Joey Tribbiani : More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?! I didn't say raspberry before did I? All right just-just tell me Rach, just tell me! Rachel Green : Okay. All right, stand up. Well, when we're at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, \"Hmmm.\" Okay, I know it doesn't sound like anything, but I swear it works. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Why-Yeah, that would work for ya...", "summary": "Rachel Green has a secret technique to get Joey Tribbiani's attention at the door. She presses her lips against his and makes a subtle sound, \"Hmmm,\" to signal her interest."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right, I gotta go to bed. Honey, I had such a wonderful time. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Yeah. Me to. Rachel Green : ...you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?! Ross Geller : No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, \"Get the hell out of my way!\" Rachel Green : Well, why didn't you just take a cab? Ross Geller : Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets it'll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller? Rachel Green : Well you're not gonna be able to keep doing this. Ross Geller : Well I have to. Okay? If I don't, they'll take the class away from me. And...I already put it in my family newsletter. Rachel Green : You what? Ross Geller : You've seen it, the Geller Yeller.", "summary": "Ross is late to a class he teaches three times a week and is reprimanded by Rachel. He explains that he ran there but faced difficulties with traffic and one-way streets. Despite the challenges, Ross insists on continuing to teach the class to avoid losing it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Right. Wow! Ross Geller : Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, I'm sure I can make it this time. I just...I just can't be afraid to get a little bit...hit by cars. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, I still can't believe you haven't seen Cujo. What is wrong with you? Rachel Green : Relax! It's not like it's Citizen Kane! Joey Tribbiani : Have you ever tried to sit through Citizen Kane? Rachel Green : Yeah I know it's really boring, but it's like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? All right, let's do it tonight. Rachel Green : Well don't you have that big date tonight?", "summary": "Ross tries to find a faster route to impress Rachel, but ends up suggesting getting hit by cars. Joey teases Rachel for not having seen \"Cujo,\" and they make plans to watch it together."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh right! Rachel Green : Hey Joey, can I ask you something? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : After our date last night, did you feel a little weird? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! You did too? It totally freaked me out, what was that?! Rachel Green : I don't know! I'm-I'm kinda thinking it-it was the lobster... Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah-yeah, the lobster. Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean I was up sick all night. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah me too, all night. Rachel Green : Really?! How come we didn't cross paths?", "summary": "Rachel and Joey have a bizarre post-date experience where they both felt strange after eating lobster. They discuss it and realize they were both up all night feeling sick."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well that's because uh...I stayed in my room. Yeah, you don't want to look in my hamper. Monica Geller : Okay, I got that. I'll escape over there. I'll come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. It's got-Right- Well, you're just a little bitch, aren't you? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you guys. Listen, I'm sorry that I was hogging the game before--Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials! Monica Geller : They're all Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler sucks! He couldn't have gotten this good! Chandler Bing : I did. But it came at a price. Monica Geller : But Ben is coming over tonight and he can't see this. Chandler Bing : Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. Was it just me?! Ross Geller : Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! I'm on time! Okay, why don't we all uh, open our books to page 23. Where... Where you will see...a uh...a bunch of uh...red spots. Okay, umm, why don't, why don't you all start to read, while I- Joey's Date : Hey. Are you all right? You seem a little distracted.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discover Chandler's secret stash of pornography hidden in his room, leading to an awkward conversation about their own sexual experiences. Meanwhile, Joey's date is confused by his distracted behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No-no! I'm fine. It's just... Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that you've known for a while and then suddenly...suddenly see them a different way? Joey's Date : You mean like from behind? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yeah, that...that's exactly it. You're right. Yeah. Joey's Date : Ew, y'know what? One time I saw this guy from behind and he seemed like a totally normal guy and then he turned around and it was Stephan Baldwin! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Yeah. So yeah, so you know exactly what I'm talking about. Joey's Date : Totally! Wow! Would you excuse me for a sec? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sure. Ehhh. Monica Geller : Oh my God Phoebe, you're on fire! Phoebe Buffay : I know! Chandler Bing : One more score to go! You can do it!", "summary": "Joey and his date discuss seeing people from behind and realizing they look different than expected."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Don't touch me!! Monica Geller : Don't touch her!! Chandler Bing : All right! Go left! Go left! Go right!! Go right!! Phoebe Buffay : I can't!! I can't!! Noooooooo!!!!!!! You son of a bitch!!!!! Ross Geller : Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hi Ben-No!! Don't look at the machine! Rachel Green : Oh God! Thank God you're home! I'm watching Cujo. Joey Tribbiani : Alone?! Rachel Green : Yes! But what is wrong with this dog?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, did you get to the part where they're trapped in the car and Cujo's throwin' himself at the windshield?", "summary": "Cujo (the dog) terrorizes a family and their friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! No! Seriously, what's wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, it didn't work out. Rachel Green : Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, okay. Yeah. Rachel Green : Y'know, I never thought I'd say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sure, yeah, why not? Rachel Green : Okay. Okay, that's him! That's him! That's Cujo! That's Cujo! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I know! I know. Yeah, it'll be okay. Rachel Green : Oh my God....What's he gonna do now? I can't watch! Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Aren't you scared? Joey Tribbiani : Terrified.", "summary": "Cujo (the dog) terrorizes two people watching a movie together."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. Here. Here. Now as for the hydrosaurs... Joey Tribbiani : All right. It's a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you don't feel that now. It was crazy! You're fine. You're better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everything's normal! She's just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi, sweetie. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's your girlfriend, Rachel! Monica Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Are you, are you high? Monica Geller : I just had the most amazing bath. Chandler Bing : Really? I don't like baths. Monica Geller : Wait, you like them with me. Chandler Bing : Honey, it's not the bath I enjoy, it's the wet, naked lady.", "summary": "Hydrosaurids unearthed in two locations. Joey moves on from Rachel drama and declares everything normal. Ross begins meeting. Rachel returns and is greeted by Monica and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, baths are so relaxing! Chandler Bing : Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth. Monica Geller : How dirty do you think I am? I'm telling you, if you had some candles and some bubbles and some music, you would love it! It would take all of your stress away. Chandler Bing : Honey, it's 2:00 on a Wednesday and I'm watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you. Chandler Bing : Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk? Joey Tribbiani : Well, neither. Chandler Bing : Oh my God, what's up?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. It's-it's just...lately, I've been feeling... Okay, here's what it is... You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! Chandler Bing : Oh no-no, no you don't, just come back.", "summary": "Monica wants to take a relaxing bath, but Chandler thinks it's disgusting and Joey joins in to talk about his feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but that's different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean? Chandler Bing : Do you? Joey Tribbiani : It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right? Chandler Bing : In London? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London. Joey Tribbiani : You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me. Chandler Bing : If that. Rachel Green : Hi! Oh, Ross, don't forget, we have that doctor's appointment tomorrow! Ross Geller : Right.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler were in London together, but Monica and Joey were also friends for a long time despite having different rules between them. The conversation became confusing as they tried to remember their experiences in London."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby? Ross Geller : No-no, we talked about it. We don't want to know. All we care about is that it's happy and healthy. Rachel Green : Yep! Happy and healthy! And cute! Ross Geller : And smart! Rachel Green : Popular. Ross Geller : With an aptitude for science. Phoebe Buffay : Are you two talking about the same baby? Hey! Have you started off thinking of names yet? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! I've come up with a bunch of ideas! Ross Geller : Really? Me too! Phoebe Buffay : Me too!", "summary": "Baby to be born happy and healthy; parents don't want to know gender."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh! If it's a girl, Phoebe, and if it's a boy, Phoebo! Ross Geller : Maybe. But it wouldn't hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? Rachel Green : Okay! I was thinking if it's a girl, how about Sandrine? It's French. Ross Geller : Huh. That's a really pretty name for-for an industrial solvent. Rachel Green : Okay fine, what do you have? Ross Geller : Well, OK, it's for a boy. Well, I know it's a little out there, but...Darwin. Rachel Green : Wow, oh my God, our child will be beaten to death in the schoolyard. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, by Sandrine. Ross Geller : You're just saying that 'cause I said no to your name!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel and Ross discuss potential names for their baby, with Phoebe offering suggestions and critiques."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm really, really not. Phoebe Buffay : How-how about you each get five vetoes? Ross Geller : All right. Rachel Green : All right. Ross Geller : That sounds fair. Rachel Green : Yeah! I don't think you're going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If it's a girl, Rain. Ross Geller : Veto. Rachel Green : Why? Ross Geller : Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat. Phoebe Buffay : I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel consider using vetoes in a game, but Ross quickly vetoes Rain's name when she introduces herself as a wheelchair-bound woman who makes soap and dresses out of wheat."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher? Rachel Green : Ross, why do you hate our child? Ross Geller : Fine, you go. Rachel Green : Okay, James. Ross Geller : Huh. Rachel Green : But only if it's a girl. Ross Geller : Oh, veto. How about-Ooh, I like Ruth! What about Ruth? Rachel Green : Oh! I'm sorry! Are we having an 89-year-old? How about Dayton? Ross Geller : Veto. Stewart? Rachel Green : Veto. Sawyer?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss potential baby names, with Ross vetoing several options and ultimately settling on Ruth."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Veto. Helen? Rachel Green : Veto. Phoebe Buffay : Is it me, or is veto starting to sound really good? Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Boy, do I have a surprise for you! Chandler Bing : Sex on the balcony? Monica Geller : No, but someone's really not going to get over that idea, are they? Chandler Bing : What is it? Monica Geller : I drew you a bath! Chandler Bing : Honey, I don't like baths! Could you draw me a picture of us having sex on the balcony?", "summary": "Ross and Helen veto an idea, while Phoebe wonders if veto is sounding good. Chandler enters with a surprise for Monica, but she reveals it's not what he thinks. Monica then draws a bath for Chandler, but he dislikes it. Finally, Monica offers to draw a picture of them having sex on the balcony, which Chandler is not interested in."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So it's a boy bath! Chandler Bing : Well, this does butch it up a bit. Monica Geller : I swear, if you try it, you will love it! Chandler Bing : All right, if I do this, can we at least discuss sex on the balcony? Monica Geller : Absolutely. Monica Geller : Bet I know how that discussion's going to go. Chandler Bing : All right, this isn't so bad. I like the flower smell! Which is okay, because I've got my boat. Monica Geller : So? Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Monica Geller : I told you you were a bath person! Hey, when you get out, maybe I can give you a facial!", "summary": "Monica tries to give Chandler a spa day and convinces him to try it out. Despite initial reservations, Chandler ends up enjoying the experience, particularly the smell of flowers. Monica is proven right that Chandler is a bath person, and she offers to give him a facial after his bath."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'm going to need a bigger boat. Ross Geller : I don't think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that? Rachel Green : Oh, oh my God! I can practically hear the mahjong tiles! Dr. Long : Okay! All your tests look fine. Now, are you two interested in knowing the sex of the baby? Ross Geller : Uh, no. No, we're not. Rachel Green : But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether it's a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo? Dr. Long : That's right. But if you don't want to know... Ross Geller : No, no, we want to wait, right? Rachel Green : Right. Right. Dr. Long : Oh, I'll be right back. And, uh, I know it's really not my place, but please don't name your child Phoebo.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find out they're having a baby, but they don't want to know the sex of the baby yet. Dr. Long offers to reveal the sex, but Ross and Rachel decline."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So, which of these babies do you think is the ugliest? Ross Geller : What? Rach! Come on, that's terrible! They're...uh...they're babies. They're-they're all beautiful. Rachel Green : Third one from the left? Ross Geller : Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows I'm talking about it. Don't-don't you-Wh-Wha-Hey!! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : You're looking! Rachel Green : I didn't! Ross Geller : I saw you! Rachel Green : Okay fine, I did. But I didn't see anything, I swear. Ross Geller : Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel evaluate babies, with Ross insisting they are all beautiful and Rachel focusing on one in particular."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, but Ross just listen to me... Ross Geller : No, no, no, no! Don't tell me! I don't want to know! Rachel Green : But I couldn't even if I wanted to, because I don't know! I swear; I didn't see anything, and I don't want to know! It was just a momentary lapse. Ross Geller : Momentary lapse. Don't-don't you have any self-control? Rachel Green : Okay, a couple months late on the lecture, Ross. Monica Geller : Hello? Chandler Bing : I'm in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think there's something wrong. Monica Geller : You know what? I-I think I'll wait out here. Chandler Bing : I'm in the bathtub. Monica Geller : Oh. What's wrong?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about him not wanting to know something, while Monica and Chandler deal with a problem in their bathroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The water's tepid. The salt didn't dissolve and is now... lodged places. And the scents I used don't compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile-Oh! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : The bath salts! They're starting to effervesce! It's different. It's interesting. Monica Geller : Okay, let's talk about something else. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Sure, sure. So, what was going on with you today? Oh-oh-oh! Monica Geller : Well, I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey. He was talking about rules and right and wrong and... Chandler Bing : I had the exact same conversation. Monica Geller : You did? What was he talking about? Chandler Bing : I don't know! Joey hasn't had this much trouble getting out words since we saw him in Macbeth! Monica Geller : That was a long night.", "summary": "Chandler accidentally makes a tepid bath with non-dissolved salt and clashing scents. He and Monica discuss their respective conversations with Joey, who had a confusing encounter involving rules and right/wrong."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : All right, let's break this down. What exactly did he say to you? Monica Geller : Okay, he was talking about rules. Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Umm, and looking at people differently. Chandler Bing : He didn't say anything about that to me. Monica Geller : What did he tell you? Chandler Bing : He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules. Monica Geller : Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone. Chandler Bing : But what did he mean by rules? Monica Geller : Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!", "summary": "Ross wants to know about Monica and Chandler's relationship in London."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Because he was looking at her differently. Monica Geller : And Phoebe is his friend, so he thinks that would be breaking the rules! Chandler Bing : My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London! Phoebe Buffay : You guys? Monica Geller : Just a minute! That's Mrs. Tribbiani! Chandler Bing : You don't say anything. Monica Geller : Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies? Chandler Bing : I'm not going to let you say anything. Monica Geller : You just stay here! Chandler Bing : Oh, God!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica discover that Ross has a crush on Joey's friend, Phoebe, and want to keep it a secret to avoid breaking the rules. They hatch a plan to help them start an affair in London, but things quickly get complicated."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, Monica, I brought back your iron. Monica Geller : Oh, you had that? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just as well, I broke this one. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : Nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : I mean, I-I, I really shouldn't say. I mean, I'm really not supposed to. Phoebe Buffay : Fine.", "summary": "Monica lost her iron and thought she got a new one, but Phoebe had it the whole time and broke it. Monica doesn't want to say anything about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's a humdinger! Phoebe Buffay : Then it's really too bad that you can't tell me. Monica Geller : Somebody likes you! Phoebe Buffay : Is it Chandler? Monica Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Well, then tell him to stop staring! Monica Geller : It's Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Joey?! You don't say. Monica Geller : Is it something you'd be interested in? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But y'know on the other hand... No. No, I can't. We're friends. No, oh, no. I don't want to risk what we have.", "summary": "Monica reveals that someone likes Phoebe, but won't tell her who it is. Phoebe suspects Chandler or Joey, but Monica denies it. Phoebe is hesitant to find out who it is, fearing it could change their friendship."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I guess that makes sense. So, you think you're going to talk to him? Phoebe Buffay : Sure, yeah. I mean, it's Joey. I don't want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey! Monica Geller : Not Chandler, just Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : You know what? I've been thinking about it. I'm really coming around on the name Ruth. I think I would actually consider naming our child that. Ross Geller : Rach, I-I can't tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh... Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know we're never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know it's a boy! Rachel Green : I didn't see anything! I actually changed my mind about the name. Ross Geller : I don't think so! You're just giving me Ruth so you'll get to name it when it's a boy, and that's when you'll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe discuss talking to Joey about his feelings for Rachel. Monica brings up the fact that Rachel has changed her mind about the baby's name. Ross becomes upset when he thinks Rachel has switched sides in their argument over the name."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I would-Sequoia? Ross Geller : Veto. Rachel Green : Fine. Ross Geller : Unless... You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, I'm not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table! Rachel Green : But Ross, you want the name Ruth! Ross Geller : Not like this! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Well, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Joey, I know. Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Ross vetoes Rachel's suggestion of \"Sequoia\" for their baby, leading to a debate over potential names. Rachel reveals that she had anticipated Ross's reaction and has already decided on the name \"Ruth.\" However, Ross insists that he is not falling for this ploy and refuses to consider the name. Phoebe enters the conversation, causing Joey to ask what's going on."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I knooow. Joey Tribbiani : Whaaat? Phoebe Buffay : I know about your feelings. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. You do? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and I'm sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but that's very rare. Joey Tribbiani : I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, it's Rachel for God sakes. Phoebe Buffay : For God sakes, it's Rachel! Joey Tribbiani : I know. I know. And she's not only my friend; she's my pregnant friend! She's my pregnant friend who's Ross' ex! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's Rachel. Beat me over the head with it. Joey Tribbiani : What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, y'know? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I don't like about her. You want to hear it?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are friends with complications, specifically due to their shared past. Joey is struggling with his feelings for Rachel, who is now pregnant with Ross' child."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : She made me switch to light Mayo. That's it! That's all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better! Phoebe Buffay : Joey, I just think you're getting worked up over nothing. This is probably just a crush. Joey Tribbiani : You think? Phoebe Buffay : Absolutely! Y'know, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, just a crush! That's all this is! It's a crush! I'm Joey; I don't get deep feelings. Phoebe Buffay : That's right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know I've had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And I'm sure you've had them for us. Joey Tribbiani : Not really. Phoebe Buffay : Mm-hmm. Throw me a bone here. Ross Geller : So, I uh... I called the doctor and now we both know the sex of the baby.", "summary": "Joey has a crush on someone but thinks it's nothing serious. Phoebe agrees and suggests it's just a crush, which they both have had before. Meanwhile, Ross finds out the gender of his unborn baby with Chandler's help."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : That's right. The student has become the master. Rachel Green : Ross, I swear, I don't know. Ross Geller : Oh, come on, you know it's a girl! Rachel Green : A what?! Ross Geller : You really didn't know? Rachel Green : We're having a girl? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : That's what you just said! Ross Geller : No.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Ross and Rachel discover they are having a baby girl."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You said girl! Ross Geller : Yes. I'm... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Rachel Green : I'm not! We're having a girl! Sometimes I can't believe it's with you-But still! We're having a girl! Ross Geller : I know! I know. You know what? I'm putting Ruth back on the table! Rachel Green : Oh, yes! We'll have ourselves a little baby Ruth... Ross Geller : Permission to veto. Rachel Green : Yes, please. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Do I smell essential oils? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm going to take a bath. I'm just going to get a magazine.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are having a baby girl. Ross is excited but then decides to put his ex-wife Ruth back on the table. Rachel gives him permission to veto, and Monica joins in with her own concerns about taking a bath and reading a magazine."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : What do you think you're doing? Chandler Bing : L-leaving my troubles behind? Monica Geller : I know that you're new at this, but this is completely unacceptable bath decorum. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's so hard to care when you're this relaxed. Monica Geller : Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now you're just a girl in a tub! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Bubbles. Manly. Well, I just thought I would drop by and let you know how it went with Joey. Chandler Bing : You told her?! Monica Geller : She pulled it out of me! She's like a conversational wizard! How'd it go?", "summary": "Chandler leaves his troubles behind and takes a bath, but Monica finds it unacceptable. They argue, and Phoebe drops by to ask Chandler about Joey. However, Monica reveals that she already knows about their conversation through her conversational wizardry skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, you were wrong, he doesn't like me! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors' house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didn't like you? How would you feel? Monica Geller : I don't think I'd care. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Lee Majors is hot! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : We're in the bathroom! Joey Tribbiani : Why? Chandler Bing : Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable time! Joey Tribbiani : What are you guys doing in here?", "summary": "Phoebe mistakenly tells Monica that she likes Lee Majors, and when Monica visits his house, she finds out he doesn't like her. Phoebe and Joey discuss this in the bathroom, with Joey expressing confusion at their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God! A friend he's looking at differently, but it's wrong. It's Rachel! Chandler Bing : You like Rachel?! Joey Tribbiani : It's no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. It's just a crush! It's going to go away! Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Mazel tov. Rachel Green : Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? Oh, my! Monica Geller : Honey, cover it up with the boat! Ross Geller : Hello? Chandler Bing : Yes we're all in here and we would love for you to join us! Ross Geller : Well hey! What's going on? Ooh, cool boat--Oh, no. Hey, did you, did you tell them? Rachel Green : No, I was waiting for you!", "summary": "Rachel has a crush on one of her friends, but they are already in a relationship with someone else. The group tries to cover it up, but the news eventually reaches Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Tell us what? Rachel Green : We're having a girl. #ALL# : Oh, wow! Yay! Wow! Hooray! Oh, man! Chandler Bing : I'll...I'll get you later! Joey Tribbiani : All right. It's a new day, and it's just a crush, that's all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, \"it was cuckoo!\" Everything's going to be fine. It's just a crush. Rachel Green : Hi, sweetie. Joey Tribbiani : I love you. Monica Geller : It sure is nice to do this together, isn't it? Chandler Bing : Yeah. And what you're doing feels so good. Monica Geller : I'm not touching you.", "summary": "A girl is announced, causing excitement and worry among friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You're not? Monica Geller : It's the salts. Chandler Bing : Oh, sweet Lord. New realms of pleasure! Monica Geller : Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy! Monica Geller : Hey, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I left my guitar here again. Monica Geller : Oh, okay. No problem. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh.", "summary": "Monica finds a solution to Chandler's salt craving, while Phoebe forgets her guitar again."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Here you go. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Umm... Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : So do you want to hang out or something? Monica Geller : Phoebe! You kinda caught me at a bad time. Phoebe Buffay : Oh are you and Chandler... Monica Geller : Yes! Exactly. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe catch up on each other's lives, with Monica mentioning that she and Chandler are having relationship issues. Phoebe offers to play music for them as a way to relax and improve their mood."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Hey Pheebs, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! You're getting a massage! You never let me massage you!! Monica Geller : Phoebe, I can explain! Phoebe Buffay : You told me you hate massages! Chandler Bing : Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning...Don't let Phoebe in. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe this! How long as this been going on? Monica Geller : Well umm, Alexandra has been... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it has a name?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over massages, while Phoebe tries to intervene and understand what's going on."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Phoebe, don't get upset! Phoebe Buffay : Okay-Oop! Too late! I'm leaving! Come on Chandler let's go! Chandler Bing : Well, Phoebe I thought I'd--Yeah, what the hell. Joey Tribbiani : Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, we're almost there! We're almost there! Rachel Green : Oh Joey, I'm so happy things worked out for us that we're having this baby together. I love you so much. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I love you too. Rachel Green : And I hope it's not an inappropriate time to say this but, you're the best sex I ever had. Joey Tribbiani : That's always appropriate! Oh, okay. One more push! One more push! Doctor : Oh, here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations! Ross Geller : I hope you're a better father than you're a friend!!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang helps Rachel deliver her baby, with Joey being the one to deliver the final push."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey! Joey! Joey Tribbiani : What? What's going on? Rachel Green : Come feel this! Come feel my belly! Joey Tribbiani : Aaaah... Rachel Green : Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?! Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Rachel Green : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know what? Maybe uh, you...you should come to me. I'm a not, I'm not wearing any bottoms. Rachel Green : Oh, okay! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my, oh my God!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey have a conversation about her baby kicking for the first time. They both react excitedly and jokingly suggest each other feel the baby's movements. Joey makes an inappropriate comment about not wearing any bottoms, leading to further awkwardness."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Aw, it's unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, she's like umm...oh...who's that kind of annoying girl soccer player? Joey Tribbiani : Mia Hamm? Rachel Green : Mia Hamm! Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's amazing. Rachel Green : Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry! Chandler Bing : Hey babe. Monica Geller : Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they don't like us do they? Chandler Bing : Who says you can't get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back? Monica Geller : No, it doesn't say where it came from. Where would we return it?", "summary": "Mia Hamm is mentioned in the conversation as an annoying soccer player."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : How about to the street say from the balcony? Monica Geller : Why don't we just find a place for it? Chandler Bing : Okay. How about in that cabinet? Monica Geller : No! That's where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation? Chandler Bing : How about the closet by the bathroom? Monica Geller : Oh, okay. Here, why don't you let me do it? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. It's locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked? Monica Geller : No reason. I-I keep private things in there. Chandler Bing : Oh y'know, I've been living here a while and I've never seen what's inside that closet. What is, what is in there? Monica Geller : Feminine stuff.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over where to put something in their home. Monica suggests finding a different location, but Chandler insists on putting it in a specific cabinet. When Monica refuses, Chandler becomes persistent, leading to an argument. Monica reveals that the cabinet is where she keeps her \"private things,\" and Chandler expresses curiosity about what's inside."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Don't try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff! Monica Geller : Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-you'll let it go. Chandler Bing : Fine. Monica Geller : Thank you! Chandler Bing : Love you. Phoebe Buffay : Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? You! Chandler Bing : Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. If! I said, \"If it helps!\" Phoebe Buffay : Why won't you let me massage you? Monica Geller : Well it's...I mean I'd just-I'd be self-conscious. You're my friend; I'd be naked. Phoebe Buffay : Monica! We lived together for years! I've seen you naked!", "summary": "Monica Geller wants Chandler Bing to let her massage him, but he is uncomfortable with the idea. Phoebe Buffay tries to persuade him, but he insists that Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for three years and he doesn't want to be naked with his friend."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's different, we were roommates! And when?! Phoebe Buffay : I'm curious about the human body. Monica Geller : Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me. Phoebe Buffay : But I'm a professional! And I'm really good! Look, if you're uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please? Monica Geller : Okay, if it means that much to you... Phoebe Buffay : It does! How would you feel if you couldn't share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldn't teach us about dragons. Monica Geller : Dinosaurs. Phoebe Buffay : Potato, potaato. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross! The baby's kicking!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe have a conversation about their past as roommates and Phoebe expresses her interest in learning more about the human body. Monica is hesitant at first but eventually agrees to let Phoebe practice her professional skills on her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What?! It is?! Rachel Green : It's not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do that again. Ross Geller : Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened? Rachel Green : Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joey's room and he was sleeping... Joey Tribbiani : A dreamless sleep. Ross Geller : My God, the baby's kicking. That's great. Although I...kinda wish I-I would've been there to feel the kicking for the first time y'know. Joey Tribbiani : Well I got stuff going on in here if you wanna feel. Ross Geller : Look, I-I don't want to miss anymore baby stuff. So...Here. Here's my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! I'll be there! Okay? I don't care if it's three in the morning and all you want is ice cream. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Can I get a copy of that? Phoebe Buffay : Are you under the sheet?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel talk about the baby's kicking, with Ross expressing regret for missing it. Joey offers to let Ross feel his stomach, but Ross declines and gives him his pager number instead. Phoebe joins the conversation and asks if Rachel is under the sheet."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Great, let's begin. How's the pressure? Monica Geller : Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good! Phoebe Buffay : Stating the obvious, but thank you. And it's not weird is it. Monica Geller : No. Ooohh... Phoebe Buffay : That's right, you just enjoy. Monica Geller : Oh. Oh yeah! Ohhhhh! Ohh! Oh yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh God Phoebe!! Oh that's it! That's it! Right there! Oh! Ooooh-oooh-ooooh... Chandler Bing : I wasn't trying to open your closet! I wasn't trying to open your closet! I swear!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe start by discussing pressure, with Monica expressing excitement. Phoebe agrees and then states the obvious. They both agree that it's not weird. Chandler bursts in, claiming he wasn't trying to open Monica's closet door."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Monica has a secret closet and she won't let me see what's in it. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Chandler Bing : I don't know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I can't see?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Ooh, I bet it's Richard. Chandler Bing : Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here? Joey Tribbiani : Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe she's having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or! Chandler Bing : And here we go... Joey Tribbiani : I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Y'know it wouldn't kill ya to respect your wife's privacy! Stupid closet full of bugs! Rachel Green : Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I don't-Whoa!!", "summary": "Monica has a secret closet that she won't let Chandler see into, despite his curiosity. Joey makes a joke about it being Richard in there, but Chandler is unsure why Monica would keep him hidden. The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Joey brings up a bizarre movie scenario involving a mysterious door and bugs feasting on human flesh. Rachel enters the scene and expresses her unease, revealing that something feels off."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey whoa-whoa, don't worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing. Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely. But, we're gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? I'll page Ross on the way. Come on. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh God-Ow!-Oo! Joey Tribbiani : Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everything's gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. Oww crushing bones! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So? Dr. Long : She's fine. She's experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall. Rachel Green : Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies? Joey Tribbiani : So but everything is normal. Dr. Long : Absolutely.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey are on their way to the hospital when Rachel starts experiencing contractions. Joey reassures her that everything will be fine and they arrive at the hospital where Dr. Long confirms that Rachel is experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, which are mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And-and there's no danger to her and the baby? Dr. Long : No-no. Contractions can be unnerving if you don't know what they are, but she's fine. Rachel Green : Thank you doctor. Oh thank you for being so nice and calm. Joey Tribbiani : Calm?! I wasn't calm! I've never been more scared in all my life! Rachel Green : But wait you said everything was gonna be okay. Joey Tribbiani : Well what do I know?! I'm not a doctor! Rachel Green : But I-But everything is okay. I'm fine! Joey Tribbiani : You sure?! Rachel Green : Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctor's uterus though. Mild discomfort, what's he talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey-hey!", "summary": "Rachel is having contractions during her pregnancy, and her friend Dr. Long reassures her that everything is okay. Joey is scared and unsure of what to do, while Rachel remains calm despite the discomfort."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Is everything okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, everything's fine! Ross Geller : Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened? Joey Tribbiani : Something called Braxton-Hicks contractions. Ross Geller : Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women don't even feel them. Rachel Green : Okay, no uterus, no opinion. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, what's with the candy? Ross Geller : Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater. Rachel Green : Oh you went to the movies by yourself? Ross Geller : No I-Mona!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Braxton-Hicks contractions, while Joey brings up candy and Mona."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I gotta go back in there. Ross Geller : What? Why? What's wrong? Rachel Green : No, everything's fine. I just gotta go back... Ross Geller : No really, you tell me what's up. Rachel Green : I-I forgot my underwear. Ross Geller : So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, don't worry about it man. Don't worry about it, no big deal. Ross Geller : Yeah but still, I mean it should've been me. I'm the dad. Dr. Long : Uh, if you have any questions, here's some information on Braxton-Hicks. Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. You're gonna make a wonderful father. Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! He brought Twizlers!", "summary": "Rachel forgets her underwear at home and Ross insists on going back to retrieve it, despite Joey's attempts to convince him otherwise. Meanwhile, Dr. Long provides information on Braxton-Hicks contractions to Rachel and Ross, who are becoming worried about the impending birth of their baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : There has got to be a way! Joey Tribbiani : Easy there Captain Kirk. Oh, do you have a bobby pin? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Oh no wait, I'm not an nine-year-old girl. Joey Tribbiani : Then why do you throw like one? Chandler Bing : Maybe Monica has a bobby pin. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. \"Monica.\" Chandler Bing : So, how's the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. Wow, you sure found that quick. I just-I wish I didn't feel this way about Rachel anymore, y'know? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think...I think Ross feels left out. Y'know? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God... You should've seen the look on Ross's face. By the way, I have no idea what I'm doing here. For all I know I'm just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card? Chandler Bing : That's a good idea. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey are trying to figure out how to open a stuck door, with Chandler suggesting using a bobby pin and Joey making jokes about throwing like a nine-year-old girl. They then discuss their feelings towards Rachel, with Joey revealing that he has a crush on her and Chandler expressing frustration that Ross feels left out. The conversation ends with Joey suggesting using a credit card to open the door."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I just...I feel terrible. Chandler Bing : Well, it's not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Y'know? You're doing nothing wrong. Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. Richard? If-if you're in there, could you pass me my credit card? Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, I got that. Monica Geller : So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay but you should know though, I've raised my rates to $200 an hour. Monica Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Ross is upset, Joey feels terrible, and Chandler tries to help him cope. Richard passes by without acknowledging anyone's requests. Monica has a great massage and suggests making it a weekly appointment. Phoebe raises her rates to $200 an hour."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I mean $500. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : 600. Monica Geller : What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on. Monica Geller : What?! You're crazy! There's nothing sexual about the noises I make! Phoebe Buffay : Really? There's nothing sexual about this? Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. What are you looking at?! I mean hi. Monica Geller : Oh my-This is so embarrassing. Oh my God, I'm never gonna get massaged again!", "summary": "Monica gets a massage and makes strange noises during it, causing Phoebe to become convinced that she is making sexual noises."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, you can't let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do! Monica Geller : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Well not clients, lovers. But let's just y'know, try it again. Come back and-and we'll work through it. Monica Geller : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Monica Geller : I guess. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Okay, if you'll just excuse me. So, did you hear something you liked? Rachel Green : Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick! Ross Geller : Hey uh, I brought you some lunch. Rachel Green : Ohh! That's so sweet of you! Oh yum! Did you put pickles on this?", "summary": "Rachel learns a new trick and shares it with Ross, who brings her lunch. Phoebe tries to convince Monica to get massages despite her initial hesitation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well yeah! Rachel Green : Oh Ross!! Ross Geller : What?! What?! Rach what?! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Ross Geller : I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles. Joey Tribbiani : Pickle? Pickles make her sick. Giving her pickles is like giving me salad. Ross Geller : I-I'm sorry Rach, I didn't know. Are you gonna be okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, I'll be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there? Joey Tribbiani : I'm on it! Ross Geller : I can't believe this! I shouldn't be the one making her throw up!", "summary": "Ross accidentally makes Rachel's favorite sandwich (tuna salad with pickles) and serves it to her without realizing she's allergic to pickles. Rachel becomes sick and Ross tries to make sure she's okay, while Joey offers to dispose of the offending sandwich."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Dude relax! It could happen to anyone. Ross Geller : Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I don't know any of it and I'm the father. I wish I'd be more involved y'know. Rachel Green : Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation. Rachel Green : Are you breaking up with us? Joey Tribbiani : The thing is...'cause I live with Rachel I'm here for a lot of the stuff, okay? And Ross...Ross is missing everything. So... Rachel Green : Yeah?", "summary": "Joey and Rachel are discussing their living situation, with Joey feeling like he's there for most of the events while Ross is absent."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you two should live together. Rachel Green : Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that...if you're gonna have a roommate, y'know it might as well be the father. Rachel Green : But Joey, I don't think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean--Or he does. Ross Geller : No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis. Rachel Green : But Ross, its you and me! Ross Geller : So? Sure! But it-it wouldn't be anything romantic. And I'm-I'm dating Mona-Damnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?! Joey Tribbiani : All right now, so? What do you think? Rachel Green : I don't know. Is it crazy? Ross Geller : No! No it's not. Joey, this is a smart idea.", "summary": "Ross suggests living with Rachel and the baby as a temporary arrangement, which leads to confusion and awkwardness among the three of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was due. Rachel Green : Okay, let's do it. I'll move in. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh Rach that's great. That's great. Chandler Bing : Not to shabby, I got this all off myself...using my wife's tools. Oh my God! Monica Geller : How did you get in there?! Chandler Bing : You're messy. Monica Geller : Oh no! You weren't supposed to see this! Chandler Bing : I married Fred Sanford!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel decide to move in together; Chandler fixes a pipe using his wife's tools and accidentally sees Monica in a messy state."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No Chandler, you don't understand! Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? I'm y'know...I'm sick. Chandler Bing : No, honey you're not sick! Look, I don't love you because you're organized, I love you in spite of that. Monica Geller : Really? You promise you won't tell anyone? Chandler Bing : Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet. Monica Geller : Well...it's just umm...I'm afraid you might mess it up. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : So Rachel's all moved out huh? How are you taking it? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldn't stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, it's a couple weeks past it's expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick. Chandler Bing : Are you okay?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are hiding a secret from Joey about Monica being sick, but Chandler reveals it to Joey after he finds out that Monica has thrown away all of his beer. Joey has also been drinking orange juice with expired calcium, which has given him a bit of a buzz."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me? I'm great! Yeah, I'm uh; I'm better than great. I am good. And now that she's gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldn't do before. Y'know? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Y'know? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Y'know? I like being on my own, I'm uh, better off this way. I'm uh, a lone wolf. Y'know? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. What's a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! Monica Geller : Ohhh. Phoebe Buffay : That's it. Just relax. Monica Geller : Ohh. Oh! Ohh! Phoebe Buffay : Come on more! Monica Geller : Oh God! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you like that don't you? Monica Geller : Oh yeah right there! Phoebe Buffay : You want it there? You take it there baby! Monica Geller : Uh Phoebe?", "summary": "Joey is happy to be rid of his girlfriend and can now do things he couldn't before, like walk around naked and watch porn in the living room. He considers himself a \"lone wolf\" and is content being on his own. Monica and Phoebe try to help him relax, but he becomes aroused when they touch him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, say my name. Say it! And now I'm going to cover you back up, and umm we're never doing this again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Hey, Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Hey, Happy Valentine's Day! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you, too. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so, uh, how's it going living over at Ross'? Rachel Green : It's good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? Oh, thank you. I'll see you guys later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : There's one lucky to-go cup of coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel are discussing Valentine's Day, while Joey tries to start a conversation with Phoebe about Ross. Rachel mentions something boring happening to someone ugly in the Middle Ages, which makes Phoebe uncomfortable. Phoebe tries to console Joey, who is clearly upset about Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. But maybe later. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone? Gunther : You want anything? Joey Tribbiani : You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that that's never going to happen! Gunther : We have red bagels. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, okay. Phoebe Buffay : So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, she's been away all week visiting her parents, but she'll be cool. I mean, she's been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, 'Fossils are my friends.' Phoebe Buffay : Ugh. Come on, Mona, don't kiss ass. Ross Geller : Uh, I'm going to take off.", "summary": "Joey wants to be with the woman he loves on Valentine's Day but knows it will never happen. Phoebe asks Gunther for a scone and mentions Mona's reaction to Ross living with Rachel. Ross is on his way to tell Mona about the situation, despite her supportiveness."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape! Ross Geller : What is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment? Ross Geller : All right. 'Candy and Cookie?' Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Candy's the mother, Cookie's the daughter. The father's also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people? Monica Geller : Phoebe, c'mere. I want to show you something in the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Monica, grow up! Ross Geller : Hey, what's behind your back? Monica Geller : Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebe's opinion on for Valentine's Day. Ross Geller : You don't want my opinion?", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nPhoebe has a video tape that Rachel wants to see, but it's a video of her friend giving birth. Ross agrees to bring it back to his apartment, but Monica wants to show Phoebe something in the bathroom. Meanwhile, Ross tries to get Phoebe's opinion on Valentine's Day gifts."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Not really. Ross Geller : Come on, I'm your older brother, ask me! Monica Geller : All right, big brother. Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her? Ross Geller : The red one. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Look, I know you've been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate. Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm not sleeping with your friend Jane again. Phoebe Buffay : He-hee! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! A dog! Hi! Who, you got to admit, looks a lot like Jane. Phoebe Buffay : This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks so much, Pheebs! We are going to have so much fun, yes we are! Oh! Not that kind of fun.", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Monica which outfit would make her look hotter for his friend's benefit. Meanwhile, Phoebe brings over a dog to cheer up Joey, who is depressed."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Happy Valentine's! Monica Geller : Okay! I'll be right out. I'm slipping into something a little less comfortable, and a little more slutty. Chandler Bing : 'Candy and Cookie'. 'Candy and Cookie?' Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! Man On Tv : Yeah, just relax. Chandler Bing : I love you, St. Valentine. Chandler Bing : Woah, woah, that's not pretty! Man On Tv : Now, push! Woman On Tv : Ow! Ow! Ooh! That hurts! Chandler Bing : Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever! Woman On Tv : Ohhh! Make it stop!", "summary": "Monica Geller gives Chandler Bing girl-on-girl porn for Valentine's Day. He is surprised and uncomfortable with the gift."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I am trying! Joey Tribbiani : Get the ball, ready? Get the ball, get the ball! Well, you're cute, but you're not too smart! Joey Tribbiani : Did I just throw this? Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Rachel Green : I accidentally packed these with my stuff. Who is this? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's, uh, that's Phoebe's friend's dog. I don't know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella. Rachel Green : Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but I've got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously can't stop it. Joey Tribbiani : C'mere. Hey. C'mere. That's Rachel. She's the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with you-we love her. But we can't have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? You're a guy. Well, you used to be. Monica Geller : So what do you think?", "summary": "Monica Geller asks Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing about their thoughts on a situation involving Rachel Green, who used to live with them. Joey and Chandler share their feelings about Rachel's departure and how much they miss her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I've still got it! Chandler Bing : Why did you get me this? Monica Geller : What is it? Chandler Bing : It's yelling...bleeding...dilating. Oh, the dilating... Monica Geller : Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebe's. Why were you even watching it? Chandler Bing : I thought...maybe...you got me porn for Valentine's Day. Monica Geller : Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentine's Day... you were right! Apparently, it's about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! Oh, wait a minute. Those aren't stars. Anyway, you want to take a look? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm not really in a sexy mood right now. Monica Geller : Honey, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Well, remember the first time we saw Jaws?", "summary": "* A young girl moves to the big city in search of stardom but ends up having sex with many guys.\n* The video is mistakenly believed to be pornography.\n* Chandler is not in a sexy mood and has flashbacks to the first time he saw Jaws."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Mm-hmm. Chandler Bing : How long it took to go back in the water? Monica Geller : Chandler, we can't let this tape wreck Valentine's Day! Chandler Bing : You don't know. You didn't see it. Monica Geller : Child-birth, it's a natural thing! It's beautiful. Chandler Bing : Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? Monica Geller : Oh! Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me! Chandler Bing : See, honey, there's- Monica Geller : Don't touch me! Mona : Hi!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss childbirth, with Monica sharing her own experience and Chandler expressing disbelief."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! So, how was Atlantic City? Mona : Good. Ross Geller : Yeah? Mona : I brought you back a present. Ross Geller : Wha-? Oh, come on. You didn't have to-saltwater taffy?! Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but it's actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. That's not interesting. Mona : I think it's interesting. Ross Geller : I do too! I missed you! Mona : I missed you, too! So, how was your week? Ross Geller : Oh, it was good! It was good. Actually, the baby started kicking! Mona : How exciting!", "summary": "Ross and Mona talk about her trip to Atlantic City, where she brought him a present (saltwater taffy). Ross is fascinated by the fact that it's made with salted fresh water, not sea water. They catch up on each other's weeks, with Ross mentioning that his baby has started kicking."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah! I know! It was. Oh... the only sad thing is I wasn't around when it happened for the first time. Mona : Oh no. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm missing out on all this other stuff, too. So, Joey suggested Rachel move in with me. Mona : Yeah right! Ross Geller : What? Mona : Joey cracks me up! It's like, 'Yeah, why don't you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldn't be awkward at all!' Ross Geller : Huh...uh-huh. Mona : Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! Mona : So, what'd you tell him? Ross Geller : Just a second!", "summary": "Ross and Mona discuss Joey's suggestion that Rachel move in with Ross after she moves out of her apartment. Mona finds the idea absurd, and they both have a good laugh at Joey's expense."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you? Ross Geller : I don't know, she seemed to think it was such a crazy idea! Um, plus, she, uh, she got me taffy! Phoebe Buffay : Taffy, really? I've never had any. Ross Geller : Ever?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. Thank you! So what, you're just never going to tell her? Ross Geller : Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, I'm going to take her to an amazing Valentine's dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks I'm the best boyfriend in the world, then I'm going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me. Phoebe Buffay : she's a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going to-what the mother of crap is up with this stuff? Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? What's the deal? Oh, it's nice! May I try a pink one? Joey Tribbiani : So, between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross, it just isn't going to happen. It would be like you falling in love with a cat. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey.", "summary": "Ross tries to hide the fact that his ex-girlfriend Rachel is living with him from Mona, but ends up planning a romantic Valentine's Day dinner for her instead. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Joey discuss their own friendship with Mona and how it's unlikely she will become close friends with Ross due to his past history with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey, buddy. How's my favorite dog, huh? How's my favorite dog? You're subdued. Did you give him a beer? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Will you excuse us, we need to talk for a moment. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Oh, me, right! Phoebe Buffay : He's miserable! What happened to him? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing. We just talked about stuff. Phoebe Buffay : What stuff? Joey Tribbiani : Rachel stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Oh...Joey, you bummed him out! This was the happiest dog in the world, and he spends half a day with you, and look at him! Joey Tribbiani : He's breathing!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay asks how her \"favorite dog\" (presumably a metaphor for Joey Tribbiani) is doing, noticing that he seems subdued. She suggests they step away to discuss something important, and Joey agrees. When they return, Phoebe sees that the dog is miserable and asks what happened. Joey reveals that they talked about \"Rachel stuff,\" which presumably upsets Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm going to take him back to Wendy's. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, no! He's fine! Look, look, look! Here's your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! My God, what have I done to you, huh? I broke the dog! Pheebs, I broke the dog! Ross Geller : Well, I'm, uh, going to pick up Mona. What have you got going tonight? Rachel Green : Oh, I've got big Valentine's plans! I've got my Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy! Ross Geller : Y'know, it's interesting! Most people think that's made with seawater, when in fact- Rachel Green : Ross, we actually watched the documentary together. Rachel Green : Ooh! My Chinese food! Let me get my cash! Ross Geller : Mona? What are-hi! What are you doing here? I'm, um, supposed to pick you up! Mona : Change of plans, I made you a special Valentine's dinner! Surprise! Ross Geller : Ayyyayyyy!", "summary": "Ross accidentally breaks Joey's dog, while Phoebe tries to take him back to Wendy's. Meanwhile, Rachel has big Valentine's Day plans and Mona unexpectedly shows up with a surprise dinner for Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, hey, Mona! Mona : Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! What's she doing here? Ross Geller : I have no idea! Rachel Green : I'll be watching TV if anybody needs me. Mona : Seriously, what is she doing? Ross Geller : Uh...lately, she just likes hanging out here. Mona : Why? Ross Geller : I think she's lonely. Mona : Okay, but it's Valentine's Day! Ross Geller : I know.", "summary": "Rachel is in the living room when Mona enters. Mona wonders why Rachel is there and Ross explains that she just likes hanging out there lately. Mona thinks it's strange that Rachel is spending so much time alone and Ross agrees, mentioning that it's Valentine's Day."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : Can't we just ask her to go? Ross Geller : No, no. She's way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy. Rachel Green : I'm not here! That's just my Chinese food! Mona : Oh, my God! She has food delivered here? Ross Geller : Mm-hmm. She's-she's emotional, but, but ballsy. Rachel Green : You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get in my sweats, and eat this in bed! Ross Geller : And you thought she was going to be in our way! So, why don't you, uh, open the champagne, and I'll be right back. I've got a surprise for you. Mona : You got another ex-wife back there? Ross Geller : Please start drinking! Rachel Green : I'm just going to grab the phone.", "summary": "Ross and Mona try to convince Rachel to go somewhere with them, but they think she's too emotional (i.e. crazy). Rachel denies it and says she's just eating Chinese food in her apartment. Ross notes that she's both emotional and ballsy. The conversation ends with Ross suggesting he has another ex-wife back at his place, and Mona urging Rachel to start drinking."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : Oh, Rachel! Wait! Hey, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but, but, um... what are you doing? Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry! Do you need the phone? Mona : No, no. Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment, and, and, we gotta have some boundaries, so why don't you go back to your place and give us some privacy? Rachel Green : But, but, Mona, I live here. Ross Geller : Happy Valentine's Day! ...Or something to remember me by. Monica Geller : How long has it been this time? Chandler Bing : 90 seconds. Monica Geller : That's better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it...except all I did was think about it. Chandler Bing : You know, it haunts me? Up 'til now, the worst thing I ever saw, was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screensaver! Monica Geller : Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why don't we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?", "summary": "Mona and Rachel discuss boundaries in Ross's apartment. Ross enters and says \"Happy Valentine's Day...Or something to remember me by.\" Monica comments on how long they have been dealing with the situation. Chandler reveals a disturbing childhood memory involving his father and a naked houseboy. The group decides to get rid of the tape and pretend the incident never happened."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I can do that. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Now all we've got to do is get rid of this chair. Monica Geller : Oh, thank God! Chandler Bing : Oh, I know! Monica Geller : Come in! Rachel Green : Hi! I'm so sorry to barge in on your Valentine's, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross. Monica Geller : Oh, my God. Chandler Bing : Poor Ross. Chandler Bing : Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica try to get rid of a chair, while Rachel bursts in unannounced and interrupts their Valentine's Day celebration. Mona dumped Ross, leading to a series of humorous events involving yoga and closed drapes."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? It's here. Chandler Bing : Oh, And We Should Warn You, Before You Watch It don't watch it. Rachel Green : Why? You saw it? Is it scary? Chandler Bing : Well, let's just say it's ironic how footage of someone being born can make you want to kill yourself. Rachel Green : Well, now, wait. Now I'm all freaked out. Come on, you guys will watch it with me. Monica Geller : No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you! Rachel Green : C'mon, seriously, you guys, you're not going to make me watch this alone! Monica Geller : She's right...of course not. Honey, get the tape. Chandler Bing : This reminds me of a very specific part of the tape. Okay, here we go. Rachel Green : Okay. Ooh, my! Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!", "summary": "The group watches a birthing tape that is ironic and makes one want to kill themselves."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why have I seen this thing three times?! Monica Geller : It's...still beautiful. Rachel Green : Uh! It's horrible! Monica Geller : I know! I know, I'm so sorry for you! Rachel Green : Oh, my God! Chandler Bing : Wait, you guys, look! Rachel Green : What? Did her ass explode?! Chandler Bing : No, the baby's out! Look, look! Monica Geller : Oh, look at those little fingers and toes! Chandler Bing : And look how happy the mom is now!", "summary": "The plot centers around a woman who gives birth to a baby and the reactions of her friends Chandler Bing and Monica Geller."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh...Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, screw you guys, you don't have to do it! Ross Geller : Hey, hey, man! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's up? Ross Geller : Uh...Mona just dumped me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man, I'm sorry. Why? Ross Geller : Well, with everything that's been going on lately, I haven't exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didn't tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know? Joey Tribbiani : Still, that really sucks, man. Especially on Valentine's Day. Ross Geller : Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentine's Day? What's going on, huh? Girl trouble? Joey Tribbiani : Sort of.", "summary": "Ross is dumped by Monica after he lies to her about Rachel moving in with him and getting pregnant without telling her. Joey is single on Valentine's Day and asks Ross about his situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : You don't have to seem so happy about it. Ross Geller : Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I...I d- Ross Geller : Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Y'know, actually once-once I got dumped during sex. Ross Geller : Anyway, so, uh, so what is it? Joey Tribbiani : Forget about it. It's no big deal. Ross Geller : C'mon! Joey! What is it? Joey Tribbiani : It's nothing. Ross Geller : Hey, hey, it's me. Why can't you tell me?", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a conversation about something that happened to Joey, but Joey refuses to share the details. Ross tries to persuade him to open up, but Joey insists it's no big deal."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, uh...sit down. Um... there's this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh...it can't happen. Ross Geller : She's not a Tribbiani? Joey Tribbiani : No! Ross Geller : I knew it. So, is she someone from work? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Ross Geller : Well, uh, does she like you? Joey Tribbiani : Sometimes I think maybe she could. But it doesn't matter, because I can't do anything about it. Ross Geller : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's complicated. She's with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because we're really good friends. Ross Geller : So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh... is he still in love with her?", "summary": "A man (Joey) likes a woman who is already in a relationship with someone else. He has feelings for her but cannot act on them due to various reasons, including his friendship with the other man."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No. I don't think so. Ross Geller : Okay. Um... is he a good guy? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's the best. Ross Geller : Then talk to him! He might be fine with it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't know. Ross Geller : Joey, it's worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her. Joey Tribbiani : I do! So much! I can't stop thinking about her! I can't sleep, I- Ross Geller : Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. Gunther : Here's your warm milk. Ross Geller : I'm going to...uh...I'm going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is hesitant to talk to a woman he likes due to concerns about her relationship with Ross Geller, but Ross encourages him to take a chance and talk to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Ross Geller : Anyway... seriously, uh...just...just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. Joey Tribbiani : It's Rachel. Rachel Green : You're going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, you're going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! Woman On Tv : I came to the big city to become a star! I'll do...anything to make that happen! Man On Tv : Anything? Rachel Green : Hmm...maybe it starts with how she gets pregnant. Joey Tribbiani : There's this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, it's complicated. She's with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, y'know? 'Ccause we're really good friends. Ross Geller : So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh... is he a good guy? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's the best.", "summary": "Rachel gets pregnant and Ross encourages Joey to watch her journey as a single mother. Meanwhile, Joey ponders his complicated feelings for a woman who is still with someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Then talk to him! He might be fine with it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't know. Ross Geller : Joey, it's worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her. Joey Tribbiani : I do! So much! I can't stop thinking about her! I can't sleep, I- Ross Geller : Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. Joey Tribbiani : It's Rachel. Ross Geller : Did you um-I'm sorry, did you just say it's Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Ross Geller : Um, you...you like Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. I like Rachel.", "summary": "Ross encourages Joey to talk to Rachel despite his reservations, and Joey reveals that he has strong feelings for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Rachel?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, okay but look, buy uh-Hey-hey, y'know, y'know who else I like? You! And it-it doesn't get said enough. I like you Ross. Ross Geller : But R-R-Rachel-Rachel?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but it's not a big deal. Ross Geller : It's not a big deal? Oh, I'm sorry I just...um, I...what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I like-you-you can't stop thinking about her. Like how you can't sleep? Joey Tribbiani : I'm an actor, y'know? As-as a group, we tend to be over dramatic. Ross Geller : Rachel who's carrying my baby? Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Look no, I-I know it's bad, and I know it's wrong. Okay? But-but it's not like anything's ever gonna happen. Y'know? These-these are just feelings, they're gonna go away. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I-I gotta go. Joey Tribbiani : Oh come on Ross! Hey Ross-Ross don't...", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a conversation about their feelings towards Rachel, with Ross revealing that he is the father of her baby. Joey admits to having feelings for Rachel as well, but downplays them, stating that they are just actor's feelings that will go away."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I just-y'know-I-I just have one-Rachel?! Gunther : Rachel?!! Rachel Green : Oh-oh! Okay, she's kicking! Chandler Bing : Oh! She's growing inside you. Rachel Green : Whoa!! Chandler Bing : Oh! Rachel Green : Wow that was a big one. Chandler Bing : I think that's the youngest girl ever to reject me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey you guys! Chandler Bing : Oh hey!", "summary": "Ross and Gunther discuss Rachel, who is pregnant. Chandler makes a comment about the baby growing inside Rachel, which shocks her. Ross and Phoebe enter the conversation, with Phoebe exclaiming \"Oh hey you guys!\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey listen let me ask you, do you believe in soul mates? Rachel Green : Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. That's why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. He'll find me. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, and you? Chandler Bing : No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I don't think they exist. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, good. Chandler Bing : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well last night, I met Monica's. Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.", "summary": "Rachel believes in soul mates and stopped looking for Russell Crowe, who will find her. Phoebe doesn't believe in soul mates and had a date with someone who she thinks is Monica's other half."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Come on, don't be crazy. You don't think there's someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? Rachel Green : Well, what's he like?! Phoebe Buffay : Well he's tall. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : He has brown hair. Rachel Green : Of course, of course. Chandler Bing : A tall guy with hair similar to mine, oh unknowable universe! Phoebe Buffay : He works with food! Rachel Green : Oh sure. Older? Phoebe Buffay : Obviously, and he's British.", "summary": "Monica is considering dating someone other than Chandler, leading to a discussion among the friends about potential suitors."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I was just gonna ask! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? And, he's-he's so centered and mature and confident. Rachel Green : Oh, it's so sad they never had a chance to meet. Chandler Bing : Luckily, the guy she settled for can't hear what you're talking about. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm so sorry. Um, and maybe I'm wrong! I but-y'know I'm gonna go out with him again, I'll find out more. Chandler Bing : You believe that this guy is destined for someone else and you're still gonna date him? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he may not be my soul mate, but a girl's gotta eat. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : I just talked to Joey, I just-I want to see how you were.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss a guy they both find attractive, but Rachel settled for someone else. Phoebe wants to date him again to learn more about him, while Chandler finds it hard to believe she would still pursue someone who isn't her soulmate. Meanwhile, Monica joins the conversation and reveals that she just talked to Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh y'know, I still-I can't believe it. Joey and Rachel I mean it's... It's like you and me going out, only weirder! Monica Geller : All right, I know you're hurting, and-and I want to be supportive, but don't say that again. Ross Geller : Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then he'd be the stepfather of my child. Monica Geller : Honey, I don't think that's something we need to worry about! First of all he's-he's never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how she'd react. Ross Geller : Sure, because women never like Joey. Y'know, I think he's a virgin. Monica Geller : Joey...he's not even thinking about going after Rachel! Ross Geller : He's not? Monica Geller : No! All he's thinking about is how you're taking this! I mean, listen it's totally freaking him out. He's talking about moving to Vermont. Ross Geller : Why? Monica Geller : He says he wants to leave the country. He thinks you hate him.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a conversation about Rachel and Joey's feelings for her. Ross is worried that Joey will confess his feelings and Rachel might marry him, making Joey her stepfather. Monica tries to comfort Ross but he is still upset."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hate him? I... No, I don't hate him. It's just it's Rachel, y'know? Monica Geller : Honey I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I don't want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that you're still his friend. Ross Geller : Okay. Okay, I'll talk to him. Monica Geller : All right. Now do it soon, he just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Hi! Monica Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Chandler, Monica, this is Don. Don : Oh, hello. Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Soul mate. Chandler Bing : What?", "summary": "Ross struggles with feelings towards Joey after Rachel's departure; Monica encourages Ross to talk to Joey; Joey seeks financial advice from Monica; Phoebe and Chandler interact."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Soul mate. Monica Geller : So, what have you guys been doing? Don : Well, we just had a terrible lunch today at Reattica. What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place? Monica Geller : I know! What is this, 1985?! Don : That's exactly what I said. Phoebe, isn't that strange. Monica Geller : Not really. Chandler Bing : What's wrong with sun-dried tomatoes? On a barbecue chicken pizza? No? Monica Geller : So Don, what-what other restaurants do you like? Don : Well, Octavio, 27&7-Oh! And there's this great little place, Alessandro's. Monica Geller : Oh my God! That's my restaurant, I'm the chef there.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica discuss their lunch at a restaurant called Reattica, which they did not enjoy due to an excessive use of sun-dried tomatoes. Chandler expresses his dislike for sun-dried tomatoes on pizza. Monica reveals that she is the chef at a restaurant called Alessandro's, which Don mentions as one of his favorite places to eat."}
-{"dialogues": "Don : You're kidding me! Monica Geller : No! Don : Your food is fantastic! Wow, I really want to talk to you about your menu, once I get some coffees first. Um, anyone want any? Monica Geller : Oh, I'd like a latte. Oh y'know what? If you're gonna talk about me, I'm gonna go with you. Chandler Bing : What are you doing?! Phoebe Buffay : Nothing! I swear to God I didn't know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didn't believe in soul mates. So... Chandler Bing : I believe in tall, handsome strangers who hit on my wife! Phoebe Buffay : They're just talking, and y'know what? Just because I think they're soul mates doesn't mean anything's gonna happen. Monica Geller : Phoebe, good work. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah?", "summary": "Monica and Don are discussing food, with Monica offering lattes to the group. Chandler expresses disbelief at the situation, while Phoebe joins in the conversation. The group talks about soul mates, with Phoebe playfully teasing Chandler for his attraction to tall, handsome strangers."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah! Oh he's great, I love him. Phoebe Buffay : Don't worry, we'll find you someone else. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it. Ross Geller : No, I don't want to hit you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh what then? Kick me? Ross Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : Bite me? Ross Geller : No, no I don't want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that I'm not mad at you and...and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that.", "summary": "Monica finds someone great, but Phoebe offers to find her someone else. Joey says he deserves a hit, but Ross insists he doesn't want to hit him and instead wants to tell Joey he's not mad at him and doesn't hate him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh now-Hey Ross-Ross! Do you wanna-wanna come in for a beer or something? Ross Geller : Uh...yeah sure. Joey Tribbiani : Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I don't... Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh...I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. Ross Geller : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Anyway, it uh...look it'll just...take me a while to get over her, that's all. I'm not even sure how to do that, I mean I've never been in love before so... Ross Geller : What?! You're in love with her. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I thought you knew that. Ross Geller : Umm, no.", "summary": "Joey wants to hang out for a beer but only has fruit drinks left. He confesses he has feelings for Rachel and assures Ross he will never act on them to maintain their friendship. Ross is surprised and Joey clarifies that he's never been in love before."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I don't want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, \"Ah, I'll get over this.\" Y'know? I just-It just keeps gettin' harder. I don't, I don't know what to do. Y'know? What do I do? Ross Geller : I think you need to tell her how you feel. Joey Tribbiani : Okay that's the green stuff talkin'. Ross Geller : No, I'm serious. You-you need to find out where she is, because if she's not where you are, then you can start to move past this. Joey Tribbiani : But what if uh-and I'm not saying she will be-But... Ross Geller : If she is where you are then uh...then my feeling weird about it shouldn't stand in the way. Joey Tribbiani : Are you sure? Ross Geller : Yeah. Look if-if she's gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldn't find a better guy. So... Joey Tribbiani : Hey thanks. Ross Geller : So when do you think you're gonna talk to her?", "summary": "Joey confides in Ross about his feelings for a girl who he thinks might be with someone else. Ross advises Joey to tell her how he feels, but Joey is hesitant and unsure of what to do."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God I have to tell her! I haven't even thought about what I will say. What should I say? Ross Geller : I'm understanding, but let's not get carried away. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, you're right. What am I gonna say? Oh! Ross Geller : Yeah, tell me about it. Don : ...so I've been slowly phasing out the wine importing and focusing more on the cheese side of things. Chandler Bing : Cheese you say? That's some pretty smelly work, huh Don? Don : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : Cheese, it's smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too. Don : Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, I'm one of the people who thinks the smellier the better. Monica Geller : Me too! Yeah, Chandler can't stand it. He won't even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.", "summary": "Ross helps Joey prepare for a confession he must make to someone, but they get sidetracked. Don talks about phasing out wine and focusing on cheese, which Chandler jokes about smelling bad. Monica agrees with Chandler's sentiment but is not allowed to have blue cheese in the house due to Chandler's dislike for it."}
-{"dialogues": "Don : And you're still married to him? Monica Geller : You know what I'd love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheese-Not even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries... And pate. Oh, I'm really not high, it's just I used to be fat. Don : Well if you where ever enter the Loire valley let me know, I've got a great little villa you can stay at. Chandler Bing : Is it made of cheese? Don : No. But God, a house made of cheese, wouldn't that be incredible?! Monica Geller : I'd move in tomorrow! Chandler Bing : Oh come on! Are you listening to this? Phoebe Buffay : I'm so sorry. Chandler Bing : What do we do? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I don't know how you fight that.", "summary": "Monica wants to go to France and eat only bread and cheese. Don offers her a villa to stay at, but Chandler is skeptical about living in a house made of cheese. Monica and Phoebe get into an argument over their differing opinions on the matter."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. Take a couple deep breaths. Look confident. Rachel Green : Joey? What's up? Joey Tribbiani : I uh, I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something. Rachel Green : Okay what's up? Joey Tribbiani : Here? In the hall? What are we animals? Rachel Green : Well honey, I'm late for a meeting. So can you just make it quick? Joey Tribbiani : Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I...want to have dinner with you tonight. That's all. Rachel Green : Sure! That sounds great! Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. That's good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what you're gonna say. Good. Yeah. Don't you people ever knock?! Monica Geller : I'd like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldn't that be nice?", "summary": "Joey confesses he wants to have dinner with Rachel but is interrupted when she has a meeting."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sure, why don't you set it up. I'll just be over here, browsing through the personals. Monica Geller : Are you okay? You've been acting weird all afternoon. Chandler Bing : Yeah, fine. Fine. Not perfect!! But good enough. Monica Geller : Jeez! What is with you? Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, did you say cheese? Monica Geller : All right, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I don't believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I won't stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese. Monica Geller : Chandler, you don't believe in soul mates? Chandler Bing : No. But I'm sure 'tomatoes' does. Monica Geller : I don't believe in soul mates either.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue about their views on soul mates after Phoebe insists that they are meant to be together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You don't? Monica Geller : No. I don't think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard. Chandler Bing : So you...you don't want to live with Don in a cheese house? Monica Geller : No, I've had second thoughts about that. Do you realize how hard that would be to clean? Chandler Bing : I love you. Monica Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers. No? Really? They taste so good. Rachel Green : ...and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean I'm really worried the baby's not going to like him. Are you okay? Joey Tribbiani : What? Yeah! Sure! Uh, look at the uh, the reason...-Is it hot in here? Rachel Green : No. Not-not for me, but why don't you take off your sweater?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have different views on their relationship, with Chandler believing they were destined to be together, while Monica thinks they work hard at it. They discuss living together in a cheese house, which Monica is hesitant about due to the cleaning difficulties. Chandler expresses his love for Monica and invites her out for dinner, but she declines. Rachel and Joey join the conversation, with Rachel worried about the baby not liking Chandler and Joey feeling hot."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Really?! Can I see it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Sure. Rachel Green : Huh. Wow, I wouldn't think Hobbs would like that so much. Joey Tribbiani : Uh... How long have we known each other? Rachel Green : Um, seven...e-e-eight, eight years. Wow. Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh, long time. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : But over the past few weeks... Waiter : Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight...", "summary": "Joey shows Rachel his t-shirt with Calvin and Hobbes on it, which makes Rachel wonder if Hobbs would like it. Joey reveals that they've known each other for 7-8 years and has been busy over the past few weeks. The waiter interrupts to inform them of the long wait and the specials of the night."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Actually uh, could you give us a second? Waiter : Sure. Sure. Second's up! Not...that kind of table. Rachel Green : So you were saying? Joey Tribbiani : I'm not quite sure. Rachel Green : Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, \"Eight years.\" And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm...now here we are. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, here we are. Uhh... I... I think I'm...falling in love with you. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : I'm falling in love with you. Rachel Green : Who are you talking too? Oh, you're kidding! Oh, it's a joke! It's funny. It's funny. I don't get it. Oh. Okay. Umm... I-I...uh, wow. Are you uh... How did umm... When? Joey Tribbiani : Does it really matter?", "summary": "Joey falls in love with Rachel after she saves him from a bad date."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow! Wow. Wow. Wow, it is hot in here. Joey Tribbiani : Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You don't have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. Okay, you gotta say something! Rachel Green : Joey, Joey I love you so much, but I... Joey Tribbiani : But. Rachel Green : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah right. That's okay. That's fine. That's uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, it's no big deal. All right? I think I'm gonna go. Rachel Green : No! Joey please! Please don't! Please don't leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! Joey Tribbiani : Don't start doing that. You can't do that Rach, 'cause then you're gonna make me do that. Oh, here we go! Rachel Green : Can I? Joey Tribbiani : Sure!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey have a heated argument about their relationship, with Rachel expressing her love for Joey but also her frustration with his behavior. Joey tries to reassure Rachel that everything is fine, but she becomes upset and begges him not to leave her. The conversation ends with Joey teasingly telling Rachel that he will do whatever she wants, but Rachel is left feeling emotional and uncertain about their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh Joey honey I don't...I don't want to lose... Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey, hey! You can't. Okay? Ever! Rachel Green : I'm so sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no Rach, please, don't be sorry. Okay? Don't be sorry. Y'know I was only kidding you. Rachel Green : Yeah, that was a real good one. Waiter No. 2 : Is this your table? Waiter : Yeah. Waiter No. 2 : God, you're gonna be here all night! Waiter : I know! I haven't even read them the specials yet! Waiter No. 2 : What's the matter with them?", "summary": "Rachel doesn't want to lose her virginity to Joey, who is insistent that they have sex. They banter back and forth until a waiter interrupts them."}
-{"dialogues": "Waiter : I don't know. I think maybe one of them is dying. I kinda hope it's the girl. The guy is really cute! Rachel Green : Joey? Are you in there? Joey Tribbiani : Oh God! That's Rachel! Monica Geller : Joey, you have to talk to her! Joey Tribbiani : No-no, I can't! I can't! Not after the other night, it's just it's...too weird, okay? Don't tell her I'm here! Don't eat that! Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey Rachel! Rachel Green : Is Joey here? Chandler Bing : I don't see him. Do you see him?", "summary": "The group discovers one of their friends may be dying and expresses hope it's the girl, but Joey refuses to talk to her due to an awkward situation from the previous night."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I don't see him. Hey! Maybe he's in the sugar bowl! Joey? Nope! Rachel Green : Well, at least you make each other laugh. Monica Geller : What's up? Rachel Green : Well, I haven't seen him since that night that he told me how he y'know... I don't know, I think he's avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor? Monica Geller : We were playing a game. Rachel Green : Ew, was Chandler naked? Sort of like a, like a ring toss kind of situation? Monica Geller : Sure. Chandler Bing : What?! No! No! Rachel Green : All right. Well listen, if you see Joey will you just tell him uh...tell him I miss him. Monica Geller : Okay, did you hear that?", "summary": "Joey is avoiding Rachel after he told her something personal. Chandler was not naked in the situation being discussed."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, a naked bagel game? Dude, I don't know. That's a pretty small hole. Monica Geller : Honey, you gotta talk to her. Joey Tribbiani : I can't! Y'know? You guys don't know what it's like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down. Chandler Bing : I don't know what that's like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, \"I love you,\" was, \"Oh crap!\" Monica Geller : Hello? No rejection? I got shot down at fat camp! Boy, kids are mean when they're hungry. Joey Tribbiani : All right so, so what do I do? Monica Geller : This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know it's weird, it's awkward, but you gotta at least try. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Okay. Whoa! I almost forgot this was on your... Chandler Bing : We didn't play it!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so when you're done with your tea I'll look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.", "summary": "A group of friends discuss a game where one person would have to confess their feelings to someone without knowing how they will react, leading to awkward moments and past rejection experiences being shared."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I didn't know you read tea leaves. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, I've done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Y'know, and-and y'know, one of the great joys of life is it's-it's wondrous unpredictability. Y'know? And also tea tends to give me the trots. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm done. Read mine. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ooh, I see a ladder. Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death. Monica Geller : I-I'm the head chef. I-I can't get promoted. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, who's next? Rachel Green : Okay, I'm done. Do mine. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle. Rachel Green : Ah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Which can either mean you're having a baby or you're gonna make a scientific discovery!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses tea leaf reading, with Phoebe revealing she used to do it but stopped because of her accuracy. Monica expresses frustration at not being able to get promoted as head chef, while Rachel and Phoebe engage in a game of interpreting tea leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I have been spending a lot of time in the lab. Chandler Bing : What does yours say Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Umm... Wow, all right. Wow! Yay! Ooh, I'm gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And he's gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. Ross Geller : Hey! Has anyone seen my shirt? It's a button down, like a, like a faded salmon? Monica Geller : You mean your pink shirt? Ross Geller : Faded salmon color. Monica Geller : No, I-I haven't seen your pink shirt. Ross Geller : Great! Great. Then I must've left it at Mona's. I knew it! Chandler Bing : Well, I'm sure you get another one at Ann Taylor's. Ross Geller : That's my favorite shirt! Okay? I love that shirt!", "summary": "Rachel spends time in the lab, while Phoebe meets a guy and believes he will be her dream man. Ross can't find his pink shirt and Monica hasn't seen it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well just ask Mona to give it back! Ross Geller : I don't know. I mean I-I guess I could. It's just that we didn't really end things such good terms. And if I go over there I'd be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait a second you guys...for the last couple weeks I've been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe he's the tea guy. Chandler Bing : Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean? Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Monica Geller : Tea gives Phoebe the trots. Rachel Green : So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but it's not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over a video tape, while Phoebe tries to help by giving them both advice. Chandler and Joey flirt with each other, and Monica makes fun of Phoebe's stomach problems."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I know it's tough now, but things will get better. Rachel Green : How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we can't even be in the same room with each other?! Chandler Bing : I'm not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese? Monica Geller : Honey, what is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Kat Stevens case? Chandler Bing : Let's just say if I can't find the right CD case I just put it in the nearest one. Monica Geller : Okay, where is the Kat Stevens CD? Chandler Bing : In the James Taylor case. Monica Geller : Where is the James Taylor CD? Chandler Bing : Honey, I'm gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case. Monica Geller : Okay. No need to panic. Deep breathes everyone. Okay umm uh, we're just gonna have to spend some time and put the CDs in the right cases.", "summary": "Rachel Green expresses her fear about things getting worse, while Chandler Bing offers a sarcastic comment instead of helpful advice. Monica Geller joins the conversation and becomes involved in the search for misplaced CDs."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, if we're gonna do that we should come up with some kind of order. Y'know alphabetically or by genre? Monica Geller : Hmm, I don't know. We really have to talk this through. Rachel Green : Oh my God!! You guys have such problems!! I feel so terrible for you! Monica Geller : Okay, I-I'm sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. That makes sense. Monica Geller : Yeah, like I don't know, maybe you have a work problem that you need his advice on. Rachel Green : Ooh, I can do that. Monica Geller : Good. Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really? Chandler Bing : They were just giving those away at the store in exchange for money. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nChandler and Monica are trying to come up with a plan to deal with Joey's constant talking about their uncomfortable topic. Rachel suggests changing the subject and asking Joey for advice on a work problem. Monica suggests the Miami Vice soundtrack as a potential distraction, but Chandler reveals that they were giving away for free at a store."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi. Monica Geller : Uh I really don't know what to tell you Rach, I really don't. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Yeah Joey she's...Rachel's got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! Y'know what, if we're gonna make dinner we're gonna have to leave. Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : So you uh, have a...big work problem? Rachel Green : Yeah it's umm... Yeah it's uh... It-it's y'know-It's nothing. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Okay. So uh, I think I'm gonna take off. Rachel Green : Yeah-No wait! Joey no wait it is. It's something. It's-it's umm...it's my boss. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Rachel Green : Yeah, and umm my baby.", "summary": "Rachel has a big work problem that she doesn't know how to solve, and Monica suggests consulting Joey for help. However, Rachel quickly realizes that her issue is not something Joey can easily help with, and they decide to leave to make dinner instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Rachel Green : My boss wants to buy my baby! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Oh my-oh my God! Rachel Green : I know I told you, it's a really big problem. Joey Tribbiani : What he wants to buy your baby?! Rachel Green : Can you believe that?! Joey Tribbiani : That's crazy! Rachel Green : That's what I told him! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, how did this even happen? Rachel Green : Well I'll tell ya! See uh my-my boss and his wife-They-they can't have children. So umm, and that-we were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, \"Rachel, I want to buy your baby.\"", "summary": "Boss wants to buy Rachel's baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave. Rachel Green : Ohh! Yeah! Yeah that-that would've been a much simpler problem. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hello. Guy : Oh, it's you. I see you everywhere. I'm Jim, Jim Nelson. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Jim, Jim Nelson I'm Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately. Jim : We have. Maybe we'll be seeing each other at dinner tomorrow night, say around 8 o'clock? Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe we will. Oh! Ross Geller : Mona? Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? Mona : I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt. Mona's Date : Oh, it's okay.", "summary": "Boss and baby create problem for Joey Tribbiani and Rachel Green. Jim Nelson asks Phoebe Buffay out on a date, but she is unsure. Ross Geller wonders where he would be if he were a salmon shirt. Mona spills wine on someone's shirt."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : No, it's still wet. Y'know what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. Mona's Date : Oh umm, I-I don't know if I want to wear a woman's shirt. Mona : No-no that's a man's shirt. Mona's Date : It's awfully pink. Chandler Bing : Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack. Monica Geller : Honey, both yours. Rachel Green : Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing! Monica Geller : Yeah? The work problem? Rachel Green : Oh it was perfect! I mean it really felt like he was my friend again. Chandler Bing : What problem did you tell him you had?", "summary": "Mona tries to help Mona's Date by offering a shirt to wear, but he hesitates due to its pink color. Meanwhile, Chandler and Joey make a surprise appearance with their own copies of the Annie soundtrack, leading Monica and Rachel to exchange advice on how to handle a work problem."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh that's not important. The point is, I really-I think everything's gonna be okay. Mr. Zelner : May I help you? Joey Tribbiani : Do you think you can just buy my friends baby?! Phoebe Buffay : Isn't it funny how we kept running into each other? It's as if someone really wants us to be together. Jim : Someone does. Me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, witty banter. Well done. Jim : So, tell me a little bit about yourself. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay, well I'm a masseuse, and I used to work at this place... Jim : Do you like to party? Phoebe Buffay : I-I-I like, I like parties.", "summary": "Rachel Green believes everything will be okay, while Mr. Zelner asks if he can help. Joey Tribbiani tries to buy his friends' baby, and Phoebe Buffay notices their continued encounters are suspiciously coincidental. Jim confesses he is the one orchestrating these meetings, and Phoebe plays along with witty banter."}
-{"dialogues": "Jim : You're wild, aren't ya? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I guess, a little. Jim : It ain't no thing, I'm wild too. Phoebe Buffay : So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for umm-Well since I was fourteen. Jim : I'm sorry. I'm staring. It's just that you have the most beautiful eyes. Phoebe Buffay : Oh stop it. Jim : And your breasts! Hmm!!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Umm look, you're coming on a little strong. But I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why don't we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself. Jim : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Okay.", "summary": "Jim and Phoebe have a conversation where they get to know each other. Jim compliments Phoebe's eyes and breasts, but she brushes him off and suggests they start over."}
-{"dialogues": "Jim : I write erotic novels, for children. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Jim : They're wildly unpopular. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Jim : Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! You do? Jim : Yeah, a Pretty Huge... Phoebe Buffay : All right. Chandler Bing : The sun'll come out...tomorrow! Bet...your bottom dollar that tomorrow... ...there'll be sun. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Jim writes erotic novels for children, which are unpopular. Phoebe is shocked and Chandler tries to cheer her up with a song about the sun coming out tomorrow. Joey joins in with a random comment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot. Joey Tribbiani : Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guy's not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Let's just say I took care of it. Rachel Green : Whoa-whoa-whoa, let's say more! Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry! Don't worry. I just told him, very nicely, \"You don't go buying people's babies, so back off!!\" Rachel Green : What?! Chandler Bing : What?! Rachel Green : No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesn't want to buy my baby! I made that up! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Why?!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Rachel discuss a situation with Rachel's boss, and Joey claims to have taken care of it. However, Rachel reveals that Joey doesn't actually want to buy her baby, which he had previously indicated he was interested in."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So that we would have something to talk about! So it wouldn't be awkward! Joey Tribbiani : And you couldn't think of anything else?! Monica Geller : You said your boss wants to buy your baby?! Rachel Green : I can't believe that you yelled at my boss! I'm-I'm gonna lose my job! What am I going to do?! Chandler Bing : You can always sell your baby. Rachel Green : Oh Joey, I can't believe you brought my boss into this! I'm gonna get fired! Joey Tribbiani : You lied to me! Rachel Green : Well, she told me too! Monica Geller : Chandler has two copies of Annie! Mona : Oh my God! Ross!!!", "summary": "Rachel lies about her boss wanting to buy her baby, and Joey yells at him. Rachel worries she'll lose her job and considers selling the baby. Chandler suggests this, but Monica reveals he has two copies of \"Annie.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hello!! Mona : Ross, what are you doing?! Ross Geller : Not touching myself if that makes anyone less uncomfortable. Rachel Green : Morning. You wanted to see me? Mr. Zelner : Please, come in. Have a seat. Rachel Green : Okay look Mr. Zelner... Mr. Zelner : Oh I think it's best that I speak first. Rachel Green : Yeah. Mr. Zelner : I've asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation. Rachel Green : Oh God.", "summary": "Ross is not touching himself, Mona wants to know what he's doing, Rachel comes in for a meeting with Mr. Zelner, who brings Lee from HR as a witness."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Zelner : If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby...I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase. Rachel Green : Well, as long as we are clear about that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh there it is. Monica Geller : That's not your regular dry cleaners. Phoebe Buffay : I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store... Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and that's what they gave me? When I get up there I'm going to kick some ass. Monica Geller : Don't worry Phoebe, you're gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we both can. And we both will. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you didn't have to come in with me.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is upset because she went on a disastrous date and needs to find new places for dry cleaning, video rentals, banking, and grocery shopping. Monica Geller tries to console her by saying that they both will meet great guys soon."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. I'm-I'm gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Guy : Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s... Wow! Phoebe Buffay : What? Guy : I'm sorry, it's just that you're so incredibly beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah well, I'm sorry about that too, but what are you going to do? Guy : I hope you don't think I'm crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing? Phoebe Buffay : A little. Now you're talking. Guy : Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee? Phoebe Buffay : I-I-I'd love to. Let me just tell my friend.", "summary": "Guy accidentally drops something, and Monica finds it. Monica is excited to watch the dance of the clean shirts, while Phoebe tries to help Guy find what he dropped. Guy confesses that he feels like he was meant to pick up the item, and Phoebe believes in this sort of thing. They go out for coffee together."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out? Phoebe Buffay : She must've left. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : So? What-what-what happened? Rachel Green : It's all gonna be okay. They're just so happy that I'm not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear. Chandler Bing : Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show they're not in the baby buying business. Rachel Green : Chandler, can you give us a minute? Chandler Bing : Oh I'm sorry, you're kicking me out of my own living room? Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : I'll be in there.", "summary": "Monica stains her shirt and wants Phoebe to show her how to remove it. Rachel returns from a trip and reveals that she was offered an extra month of paid maternity leave by Central Perk's owners. Chandler tries to make jokes about Ralph Lauren not selling baby clothes, and then is kicked out of the living room."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey, I'm really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things... Joey Tribbiani : I know. I know. Rachel Green : It kinda worked. I mean y'know, I don't know about you buy I haven't thought about our thing since all this. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you're right. Yeah, it's kinda been like us again a little bit. Rachel Green : Yeah I know! I miss that. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. I mean I...haven't thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didn't feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward. Rachel Green : My gynecologist tried to kill me. Ross Geller : Item J437-A, color: winterberry. Hi umm, listen come here, come in. I'm so-so sorry about yesterday. I-I'm really sorry. It's just that I... Mona : Listen Ross, you don't have to apologize. I understand why you were there. Ross Geller : You do?", "summary": "Rachel and Joey discuss their past relationship, with Rachel admitting she lied to him. They both acknowledge that they haven't thought about it much since then. Meanwhile, Mona tries to comfort Ross after his awkward encounter with her at the coffee shop."}
-{"dialogues": "Mona : Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we can't. It's too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just... It just wasn't meant to be. Ross Geller : Oh God you're right. Mona : Ross, we...we have to be strong. Okay, I-I'm gonna go. Can I? To remember you? Ross Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parent's anniversary party? Monica Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : Sure. Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : So, who's the guy? Phoebe Buffay : Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners. Chandler Bing : Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? Who said that?", "summary": "Mona and Ross have unresolved feelings for each other but are unable to pursue a relationship due to complications with Rachel and their baby. Mona leaves, and Phoebe asks if she can bring someone to Ross's parents' anniversary party."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, he's really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am. Monica Geller : Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year? Ross Geller : Uh, yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'd really like to. Ross Geller : Okay, hopefully this time mom won't boo you. Monica Geller : Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and it's always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year I'm going to make them cry. Chandler Bing : And you wonder why Ross is their favorite? Monica Geller : No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, \"God, your brother.\" Know what they'll say this year? \"God, you\" Joey Tribbiani : Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. I'm an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. Monica Geller : Really you can do that?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang prepares for their parents' 25th wedding anniversary party, with Monica wanting to give the toast and Chandler questioning why Ross is always the center of attention."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me? Watch! Well I can't do it with you guys watching me! Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Monica Geller : Oh I'm working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. Chandler Bing : It's a dog. Monica Geller : It's a dead dog. That's Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school. Chandler Bing : It's your parents' anniversary and you're going to talk about their dead pet? Monica Geller : The good stuff, huh? Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Monica's parents are celebrating their anniversary, but she brings up a dead pet from high school instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You got a present for my parents. That's so sweet. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them. Ross Geller : Aww that is so cool. Joey Tribbiani : And I got them a book on Karma Sutra for the elderly. Rachel Green : Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon? Chandler Bing : Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, and I think my testacles may be in here too. Ross Geller : Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Y'know Monica couldn't get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : You were the 200-pound 11-year-old who rode her! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "Ross gives a present to Monica's parents, Joey named a star after them for their anniversary, and Rachel needs ribbon for a craft project. Chandler provides various types of ribbon, and Ross reveals that Monica could not get braces as Chi-Chi needed knee surgery. Phoebe enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is... Parker : No, no, no wait! Don't tell me. Let me guess. Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, I'm sorry Phoebe didn't mention you. Chandler, I'm kidding all ready you're my favorite! Chandler Bing : Ha! Parker : Why don't all of you tell me a little about your self? Ross Geller : Ah, actually, I'm sorry we-we probably should get going. Parker : Classic Ross. Rachel, Rachel, oh how you glow. May I? Rachel Green : I, uh, think you already are. Parker : Rachel, you have life growing inside you. Is there anything in this world more miraculous than-Oh a picture of a dog! Whose is this? Monica Geller : That's my old dog. He passed away years ago.", "summary": "Phoebe introduces Parker to the group, who asks them to introduce themselves. Chandler teases Parker, while Ross tries to end the conversation abruptly. Rachel glows, and Monica shows a picture of her deceased dog."}
-{"dialogues": "Parker : Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So where's the party? Monica Geller : It's out on the island. It's in Massapequa. Parker : Maaaassapequa, Sounds Like A Magical Place. Tell Me About Massapequa, Is It Steep In Native American History? Ross Geller : Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a tee-pee. Monica Geller : Okay, I got my note cards. Do you got the presents? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : And I've got the car keys. Parker : We're driving!? Monica Geller : Yeah. Parker : Aces!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group plans a party on an island called Massapequa. Ross mentions an Arby's in the shape of a teepee and Chandler brings presents. Parker is excited to drive to the party."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So uh, he seems like a nice guy. Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah I like him a lot. Ross Geller : Ya wanna hang back and take our own cab? Rachel Green : Yeah, otherwise I'm not going. Jack Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi! Hey mom. Rachel Green : This is such a great party! 35 years. Very impressive, do you guys have any pearls of wisdom? Judy Geller : Jack? Jack Geller : Why would you serve food on such a sharp stick? Ross Geller : That's a good question, dad. That's a good question...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel meet a nice guy at a party, and they want to hang out with him instead of going home in a cab together. Jack joins the conversation, and Ross and Judy share some advice."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hmmm.... Woman : Congratulations you two! Rachel Green : Thank you...we're so excited! Woman : And also, congratulations on your wedding. Ross Geller : Wha-What? Judy Geller : Can we talk to you for just a y'know... It's just a little thing. Well we think it's absolutely marvelous that you're having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why we've told them all that you're married. Rachel Green : What?! Judy Geller : Thanks for going along with this. Ross Geller : Dad so what we have to pretend that we're married? Jack Geller : Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find out they are having a baby, but they are not married. Their friends Judy and Jack are supportive but some of their other friends are less open-minded about the situation. To avoid any awkwardness, Ross and Rachel decide to pretend to be married."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Can you believe that? Rachel Green : Yeah, if you're going to do the ears, you might as well take a pass at the nosal area. Ross Geller : No, us having to lie about being married. Rachel Green : No, I know I don't either, but ya know what, it's their party, and it's just one night. And we don't even have to lie; we just won't say anything. If it comes up again, we'll just...smile. We'll nod along. Woman : Ross! Man : Rachel! Ross Geller : Hi Aunt Lisa, Uncle Dan. Aunt Lisa : Congratulations on the baby, and on the wedding! Rachel Green : Hmmmm.... Uncle Dan : Here's a little something to get you started.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are planning to lie about being married at a mutual friend's party, but they later change their minds and decide to simply smile and nod if the topic comes up again."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh... Aunt Lisa : So, how's married life treating you? Rachel Green : Unbelievable! Ross Geller : We love marriage! Aunt Lisa : Great! Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Parker : What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C...I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I don't want to forget this moment! It's like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! Chandler Bing : I don't think the flash went off. Parker : Dahaaa! I'm going to find the men's room, be right back.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are married, and they love it. Aunt Lisa visits and congratulates them. The group reminisces about past events in Event Room C, including birthdays, proms, and bar mitzvahs. Chandler takes a photo but forgets to use the flash."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'll go with you Parker : Come on! Chandler Bing : Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man. Joey Tribbiani : I have to go to the bathroom too, but I don't want him complimenting my thing. Ross Geller : I'm so we weren't in the car! Did he ever let up? Monica Geller : He called the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle. Ross Geller : This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! Ooh sorry... Phoebe Buffay : Were you guys making fun of Parker? Ross Geller : That depends, how much did you hear? Phoebe Buffay : So, he a little enthusiastic, what's wrong with that?", "summary": "Parker is the target of a group of friends who are making fun of him. They were in a car together and Parker was very enthusiastic, leading to jokes and teasing from the others."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's just that, it's so much. Phoebe Buffay : Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people you've dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends don't do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? 'Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the who's who of human crap. Monica Geller : I feel terrible. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Ross Geller : What was wrong with Mona? Rachel Green : Open it! Open it! Open it! Ross Geller : Yeah baby! Man : So we never got to hear about your wedding! Woman : We were surprise that we weren't invited. Ross Geller : No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.", "summary": "Monica has been on many unsuccessful dates, and Phoebe expresses her disapproval while also revealing that she likes Joey. Monica feels terrible about her dating history, which includes guys like Tag, Janice, and Mona. Rachel excitedly opens a gift from Joey, while Ross mentions their small and intimate wedding with only a few guests."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular. Man : Where did you have it? Rachel Green : On a cliff, in Barbados, at sunset, and Stevie Wonder sang Isn't She Lovely as I walked down the aisle. Woman : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah, Stevie's an old family friend. Woman : Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures. Rachel Green : So would I. You wouldn't think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera. Ross Geller : Would you excuse us for a second? Umm.... what are you doing? Rachel Green : What? I'm not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing. Ross Geller : Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.", "summary": "Rachel Green got married on a cliff in Barbados at sunset with Stevie Wonder singing \"Isn't She Lovely\" as she walked down the aisle. A woman was amazed and wanted to see pictures, but Rachel's camera ran out of film due to Annie Liebawitz's mistake. Ross Geller interrupted the conversation to make a silly comment about riding in on a Harley."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic. Parker : Are you okay? You seem kind of quiet. Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm fine. I'm great. I'm with you. Parker : And I'm with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. What an inspired solution to man's plate dispensing problems. Phoebe Buffay : Hm huh, yeah. Parker : Ah! Oysters! Let me feed you one. Phoebe Buffay : No, that's not necessary. Parker : Please. Phoebe Buffay : No, actually I don't eat... Parker : I won't quit until you try.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross discuss the importance of realism in a conversation, while Phoebe and Parker engage in a playful exchange about plates and oysters."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, fine! Fine! Mmm...hmmmmm.... Parker : What are they like? I've never had one. Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you just try one? Parker : No, they look too weird. Chandler Bing : What are you doin'? Monica Geller : Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit 'em. I can't wait. They're going to be crying so hard. They're going to be fighting for breath. Chandler Bing : Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could . Rachel Green : And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns. Woman : Blind? Rachel Green : Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.", "summary": "Phoebe tries to convince Parker to try a toaster strudel, but he declines due to its unusual appearance. Monica excitedly prepares for her wedding by toasting bread, while Chandler offers to hold down the struggling couple. Meanwhile, Rachel reveals that her veil was made by blind Belgian nuns who lost their sight in the intricate work."}
-{"dialogues": "Aunt Lisa : I'll bet you looked beautiful... Rachel Green : Well, I don't know about that, but some said that I looked like a floating angel. Woman : So, how did you propose? Rachel Green : Oh yeah. That's a great story. Ross Geller : Well, um, actually, I-I took her to the planetarium. That's-that's where we had our first date. Um, she walked in and I had the room filled with lilies, her favorite flower... Aunt Lisa : Oh that is so sweet! Rachel Green : Shhh! I want to hear the rest! Ross Geller : Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words \"Will you marry me?\" Rachel Green : And the ring, was the size of my fist ! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parker's a nice guy and I'd like to get to know him.", "summary": "Ross proposes to Rachel at the planetarium with lilies and a personalized message in the stars."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Then you better do it now. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because I'm going to kill him Joey Tribbiani : What-what? Phoebe Buffay : You guys were right. He's just too excited about...everything. I mean I'm all for living life, but this is the Geller's 35th anniversary. Okay? Let's call a spade a spade this party stinks. Joey Tribbiani : I know I'm having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger! Phoebe Buffay : Are you sure it wasn't an oyster? Joey Tribbiani : I guess it could've been, I didn't really look at it. Y'know, I just wiped it on Chandler's coat and got the hell out of there. Phoebe Buffay : He's just such a great guy I'm so excited about him. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, you should be excited about him. There's nothing wrong with him he's a good guy.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey attend the Gellers' 35th anniversary party, where they have a terrible time. Phoebe is annoyed by how excited everyone is, while Joey has a disastrous encounter with the buffet line and accidentally gets a booger on Chandler's coat. Despite their negative experiences, Phoebe remains enthusiastic about Chandler, much to Joey's confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You think? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ya know what I think; I think we were all just being too negative. Phoebe Buffay : You're right. You're right, he's just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! I'm a sunny, positive person. Joey Tribbiani : Actually, you have a little bit of an edge. Phoebe Buffay : What's that now? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing... Phoebe Buffay : Oh look it's Parker! Parker : Look! It's the bunny hop! Phoebe Buffay : Oooh I love it! Parker : You do?!", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey are discussing their negative attitudes when Phoebe declares she is like Parker, a sunny and positive person. Joey agrees and they both express admiration for Parker's enthusiasm."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on! Monica Geller : Okay it's time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year I'm going to do it. Monica Geller : No, no it's going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably don't say it enough, but I love you. When I look around this room, I'm-I'm saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she can't because she's dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. . Was. Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember she's dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? Didn't see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. You people are made of stone! Here's to mom and dad! Whatever! Judy Geller : Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasn't it interesting, Jack? Jack Geller : Why don't I remember this dog? Judy Geller : Ross, why don't you give us your toast now? Ross Geller : Oh, no, Mom, it's just Monica this year. Judy Geller : You're not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary? Ross Geller : No, of course, Um... Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say...on behalf of my new bride, Rachel , and myself. Umm, that if...if in 35 years, we're half as happy as you guys are, we'll count ourselves the luckiest people in the world. Judy Geller : Oh Ross...", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica discuss the toast for their parents' 35th wedding anniversary, with Monica taking charge of giving it this year. Monica thanks her parents for setting a good example and expresses sadness at those who cannot be there, including her grandmother and dog Chi-Chi, who are deceased. Monica then shares an interesting fact about orphans in Romania, which moves Judy and Jack. Ross is hesitant to give his toast, but ultimately does so, expressing gratitude for his parents' happiness and wishing they will be half as happy in their 35 years of marriage."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : I just wish Nana were alive to hear Ross's toast. Parker : My God what a fantastically well lit hallway! Phoebe Buffay : Can I get you something to drink? Like a water and Valium? Parker : I must say this apartment, its, its, There are no words... Phoebe Buffay : Oh thank God. Parker : It's a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why don't we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly! Parker : That sounds great. My God this is the most comfortable couch I've ever sat on in my entire life. Phoebe Buffay : Let's try something else, let's play a game. Parker : I love games!", "summary": "The group gathers at Monica and Chandler's apartment for Ross's toast to his father, Jack Geller, who has passed away. They reminisce about their fond memories of Jack and lament that he isn't alive to hear Ross's toast. The conversation shifts to the aesthetics of the apartment, with everyone praising its design and comfort. They then suggest playing a game together to pass the time."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Shocking! Let's play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. Parker : Or...Jenga. Phoebe Buffay : But, let's play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses! Parker : I lose, now Jenga. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Oh my God! Parker : Is something wrong? Phoebe Buffay : Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical? Everything isn't a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker! Parker : Well, excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam! Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to put a good spin on everything. Parker : I'm sorry that's who I am. I'm a positive person.", "summary": "Phoebe and Parker play a game of silence to see who can stay quiet the longest. However, when Phoebe accidentally mistakes brake lights for fairies, she becomes upset and accuses Parker of always putting a good spin on things."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid! Parker : So what do you want me to do, you want me to be more negative, less happy? Phoebe Buffay : Much less happy! Parker : Fine! Well then to quote Ross, \"I'd better be going.\" Phoebe Buffay : So long! Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! Parker : Isn't this the most incredible fight you've ever had in your entire life? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh. Ross Geller : ...and then, we could've gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar! Rachel Green : Ross, it just wouldn't have been feasible. Ross Geller : But having a dove place the ring on your finger would've been no problem?", "summary": "Phoebe and Parker argue about her positivity and happiness, with Phoebe wanting her to be less happy. Parker then leaves, and Phoebe and Ross discuss their past fights. Rachel joins in and mentions a previous ceremony where Ross wanted to use a dove to place the ring on her finger."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It was really fun being married to you tonight. Ross Geller : Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks I've ever made. Rachel Green : Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : That proposal, at the planetarium... Ross Geller : I know, I know it was stupid. Rachel Green : Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was...really wonderful! Did you just make that up? Ross Geller : No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. It's how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me. Rachel Green : Well, that would've been very hard to say no too. Ross Geller : It's a good thing I didn't do it, because it sounds like it would've been a very expensive wedding. Okay, good night.", "summary": "Ross proposes to Rachel at the planetarium with a song and lilies, but she declines. They later discuss how they both thought about the proposal and how it would have been hard for Rachel to say no."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Goodnight. Ross Geller : Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldn't get messed up? Rachel Green : I will think about it. Ross Geller : That's all I'm askin'. Monica Geller : Okay that's it. I give up. At mom and dad's 40th anniversary, you're the one giving the speech. Ross Geller : Y'know I don't understand why they didn't cry. It was a beautiful speech. Monica Geller : Oh, come on. Ross Geller : Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really would've wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was. Monica Geller : Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it? Rachel Green : Hi!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss a hypothetical sidecar with a windscreen to protect her hair during their parents' 40th anniversary speech. Monica gives up trying to come up with ideas for the speech. Ross reflects on his parents' love and the lessons he learned from them, including the importance of true love and the presence of Nana at the celebration."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : So, I'm in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. Joey Tribbiani : Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. That's me!! I'm blank!! Monica Geller : How cool is this?! We know three down! I'm touching three down! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you are baby. Monica Geller : Three down knows I'm married, what's three down doin'? Rachel Green : So did they call you to tell you your name's gonna be in this? Joey Tribbiani : No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no. Ross Geller : Why'd you say no?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are surprised when they see Joey's name in a crossword puzzle, as it refers to a star of \"Days of Our Lives.\" Joey is excited but also hesitant about the attention. Meanwhile, Ross expresses confusion over why Joey turned down an opportunity for a profile on him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time. Chandler Bing : If only there was something in your head to control the things you say. Rachel Green : Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus y'know the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I don't know, gal pal Rachel Green? Chandler Bing : Is that gal pal spelled L-O-S-E-R? Rachel Green : Okay, don't listen to him. Please? Joey Tribbiani : Fine! All right, I'll do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I y'know, start to say something stupid. Ross Geller : Just then or-or all the time, 'cause we-we have jobs y'know. Rachel Green : Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. Ha-ha! I'm gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. Seriously, proud of you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. The Interviewer : I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is nervous about doing another interview, as he previously said something in a previous interview that got him into trouble (falling down an elevator shaft). Rachel Green tries to reassure him and encourage him to mention her in the interview. Chandler Bing makes fun of Joey's tendency to say silly things, while Ross Geller expresses concern about how much time they spend with Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, not at all. Happy to do it. Monica Geller : You think we're being obvious? Chandler Bing : No, we're just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. The Interviewer : Y'know I think its great you wanted to meet here. Y'know when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant. Joey Tribbiani : Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldn't have mattered, I'm doing this for the fans, not for the free food. Gunther : Can I get you anything? The Interviewer : Umm, I'll have a cup of coffee. Joey Tribbiani : And I'll have all the muffins. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Shhh! We're not talking.", "summary": "Joey and Monica discuss their neck problems while Chandler makes a joke about it. The interviewer praises Joey for wanting to meet at Central Perk instead of a fancy restaurant. Gunther offers to get them drinks and snacks. Phoebe joins the conversation, causing Ross to shush her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Finally! Oh. The Interviewer : So, according to your bio, you've done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives. Anything you're particularly proud of? Joey Tribbiani : All you want is a dingle/What you envy's a schwang/A thing through which you can tinkle/Or play with, or simply let hang... Host : Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you said it Mike. Aw! There's got to be a better way! Mike : And there is Kevin. Mike : This is the first time he's ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead. This works with any milk carton. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, it is easy. Now, I can have milk everyday. Lauren : So this is it? Victor? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess it is. And so... I'm gonna get on this spaceship, and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, you'll be long gone. But I won't have aged at all. So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne... baby...I'm gonna want to meet her.", "summary": "* Phoebe Buffay and Joey Tribbiani discuss their past work experiences before joining the show \"Days of Our Lives.\"\n* The host brings up a common frustration with difficult milk cartons and introduces a product that makes opening them easier.\n* Joey Tribbiani is excited to try the product and demonstrate its ease of use.\n* Lauren enters the conversation, and Phoebe reveals her plan to travel to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels.\n* Phoebe then shares her desire to meet her great-great-granddaughter, Adrienne, when she returns from her journey."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do...so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, you know that's bad for the paper tray. Chandler Bing : Nice work my friend. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Wait-wait-wait-wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am... Joey Tribbiani : Well, there are so many things, it's hard to pick just one. Phoebe Buffay : I'm gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I'd actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea. Ross Geller : Uh, double latte, extra foam. Chandler Bing : And a bagel with only... Phoebe Buffay : I was just being polite! The Interviewer : Okay, how about when you're not working. What do you do in your spare time?", "summary": "Joey tries to fix the copier but can't reach it and watches two people having sex instead. Chandler compliments Joey on his line, then Joey sees the person's butt blocking him. Phoebe offers coffee, Rachel requests a blueberry muffin and chamomile tea, Ross wants a double latte with extra foam, and Chandler asks for a bagel with only cream cheese. Finally, the interviewer asks about Joey's free time activities."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look at this clown! Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way jackass! Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway? Rachel Green : That is the Coast Guard. Joey Tribbiani : What are they doing out here? The coast's all the way over there. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! What are yo-you trying to kill me?! Chandler Bing : Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much? Ross Geller : Come on, it's fun! Chandler Bing : All right! Isn't this a woman's hat? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!", "summary": "A man named Joey sees another boat on the river and becomes angry because he thinks it's taking up too much space. Rachel explains that the boat belongs to the Coast Guard, not just any random person. Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross join in the conversation and make jokes about Joey's hat and tea."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Y'know what, we have to turn off the porn. Joey Tribbiani : I think you're right. Chandler Bing : All right, ready? Joey Tribbiani : One. Chandler Bing : Two. Both : Three. Joey Tribbiani : That's kinda nice. Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's kinda a relief. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You wanna see if we still have it?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey agree to stop watching porn together."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : FREE PORN!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : We have free porn here!!! Joey Tribbiani : In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And I'm also a mento for the kids. Y'know a mento, a role model. The Interviewer : A mento... Joey Tribbiani : Right. The Interviewer : Like the candy? Joey Tribbiani : Matter of fact, I do. The Interviewer : Well umm, another thing our readers always want to know is how our soap stars stay in such great shape. Do you have some kind of fitness regime?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss free porn, with Joey mentioning he reads to the blind and mentors children. The interviewer then asks about their fitness routine, but Joey reveals he actually eats a lot of candy instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh, we stars just try to eat right and get lots of exercise. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour? Ross Geller : Are you serious?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it. Ross Geller : Wow! We are pretty good at this! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! We totally forgot about lunch! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! Yeah, my pants are a little loose! Chandler Bing : What's wrong with you? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, haven't been able to stand up since. But um, I don't think it's anything serious.", "summary": "Ross and Joey play a game of basketball without dropping the ball for an hour. They realize they are doing well and forget about lunch. Joey experiences stomach pain and passes out, leading to concerns from Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : This sounds like a hernia. You have to-you-you-Go to the doctor! Joey Tribbiani : No way! 'Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! Why did I have to start working out again? Damn you 15s! Rachel Green : It's a trifle. It's got all of these layers. First there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauted with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! Ross Geller : It tastes like feet! Joey Tribbiani : I like it. Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Joey Tribbiani : What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood. Joey Tribbiani : The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes-Hey, what was in that brown jar? Chandler Bing : That's still in there?! Joey Tribbiani : Not anymore.", "summary": "A hernia, working out again, and a trifle with layers of ladyfingers, jam, custard, beef, peas, onions, bananas, and whipped cream are all topics of conversation among a group of friends. However, when they taste the trifle, Ross Geller is not impressed, while Joey Tribbiani enjoys it. Meanwhile, the fridge breaks down, leaving Joey with limited food options."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh! Yay! Look! There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it! Chandler Bing : Stick to your side! Rachel Green : Hey, come on now! Joey Tribbiani : All right, what are we havin'? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, I don't believe in these crazy diets y'know, just everything in moderation. Gunther : Your muffins. Joey Tribbiani : I'll take those to go. For the kids. The Interviewer : Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there? Joey Tribbiani : It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldn't have said. But believe me, that's not gonna happen today. The Interviewer : Understood. So, what'd you say back then?", "summary": "Rachel finds a piece of furniture without a floor and Chandler tells her to stick with her side. Joey orders muffins, but Gunther warns him about diets. Joey claims he won't say anything controversial in the interview, but he reveals that he was killed off the show years ago after making some ill-advised comments in an interview."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, I said that I... Joey Tribbiani : You guys, this is Shelley, she's interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends... Rachel Green : Hi! I'm gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, I'm the one you come too. This might be Joey's baby , who knows? I'm just kidding-Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green. Ross Geller : Who just lost the respect of her unborn child. The Interviewer : Umm, I'm gonna just go get this warmed up. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Joey! You're doing great! Ross Geller : Yeah, so far nothing stupid. Chandler Bing : Mento? Joey Tribbiani : No thanks.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is being interviewed by Shelley for Soap Opera Digest, accompanied by his friends Rachel Green, Ross Geller, Monica Geller, and Chandler Bing. During the interview, Joey reveals that he might be the father of Rachel's unborn child, while Ross loses the respect of his unborn child."}
-{"dialogues": "The Interviewer : So, as Joey's friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know? Ross Geller : Uh no, no just-just that he is a great guy. Rachel Green : Yeah, that's gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I......I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I...I just think you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet. The Interviewer : Oh! I like that. What's your name? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Phoebe Buffay. The Interviewer : How do you spell that? So we can get it right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay, it's P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in 'Ello there mate! The Interviewer : Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you. Ross Geller : Yeah, you too.", "summary": "Joey enriches his friends' lives, while Phoebe finds him hot and sweet."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You too! Chandler Bing : Thanks. Monica Geller : Bye. The Interviewer : So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend? Joey Tribbiani : How come you have two? Chandler Bing : Well this one's for you. Joey Tribbiani : Get out. Chandler Bing : No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, it's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler Bing : That's what they'll call us.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over a bracelet, with Joey insisting it's a friendship bracelet and Chandler refusing to admit it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, Joey! Sorry! Joey Tribbiani : No that's all right. Don't worry about it. Rachel Green : Oh but look! That's gonna leave a stain! Joey Tribbiani : Rach! Hey! It's fine! You're at Joey's! Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Look! Rachel Green : I've never lived like this before. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Joey Tribbiani : All right, don't waste it, I mean its still food. Ross Geller : All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes.", "summary": "Rachel spills food on Joey's couch, and he convinces her not to worry about it since they are at his place. Ross feels guilty about something and tells Joey to shut up and close his eyes."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. And they're off! Phoebe Buffay : Get your foot off my contestant! Judge! Joey Tribbiani : Judge rules, no violation. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Joey Tribbiani : And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter! Phoebe Buffay : No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton! Joey Tribbiani : Judge rules, Nutter-Butter. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, tough call. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nJoey auditions for a role but doesn't get it, despite giving a great kiss. Phoebe enters her contestant into the competition, but Joey rules that it's not a Nutter-Butter and gives it to someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'd seen this thing on The Discovery Channel... Ross Geller : Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?! Phoebe Buffay : Ewwww!! Monica Geller : You can't say that!! You-you don't know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldn't...bend that way. So... Phoebe Buffay : Ewwww!! Joey Tribbiani : That's right I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I'd pee on anyone of you! Joey Tribbiani : Umm, no. No best friend, no. Just a lot of close friends. The Interviewer : So umm, now back to the show. How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base? Joey Tribbiani : Really? Me? Wow! I don't even know any huge gay people! Chandler Bing : It hurts me. It physically hurts me.", "summary": "Joey sees a documentary on jellyfish and their unique abilities, but becomes embarrassed when Ross reveals he saw it too. Phoebe and Monica share their experiences with painful situations, while Joey boasts about his friendship with Chandler. The group discusses their fan base, with Joey expressing surprise at having a large gay following."}
-{"dialogues": "The Interviewer : Now, off the record, you're not... Joey Tribbiani : What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book! Ross Geller : Your make-up! Ross Geller : Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so we're face to face or-or should I climb down your back so we're-we're butt to face. Joey Tribbiani : I think face to face. Ross Geller : I would say that. Joey Tribbiani : Face to face, yeah! Ross Geller : Okay, here I go. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my... How much do you weigh Ross?!", "summary": "Ross and Joey are discussing off the record topics while climbing down each other's bodies. Joey shows his practical man bag with compartments for various items, and Ross suggests they climb face to face rather than butt to face."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I prefer not to answer that right now, I'm still carrying a little holiday weight. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, when we talked about face to face, I don't think we thought it all the way through. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Check it out. How much of a man am I?! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut. Chandler Bing : You're turning into a woman. Joey Tribbiani : No I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean. Chandler Bing : Now I've upset you? What did I say? Joey Tribbiani : It's not what you said. It's the way you said it... Oh My God, I'm a woman!!!", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue over his manliness, while Phoebe insults Joey with gender-related slurs."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Great nap. Ross Geller : It really was. Joey Tribbiani : Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. The Interviewer : So, let's talk about women. I'm sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, \"Hey, how you doin'?\" Phoebe Buffay : Oh, please! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How you doin'? Woman : He has the most amazing Porsche under there! Joey Tribbiani : I'd love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping. Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink?", "summary": "Joey has a great nap and Ross agrees. Joey denies being gay but has many close friends who are. The interviewer asks about his romantic life, which Joey handles awkwardly by flirting with women in a creepy way."}
-{"dialogues": "Woman : Hi, is Rachel here? I'm her sister. Rachel Green : Oh my God, Jill! Jill Green : Oh my God, Rachel! Chandler Bing : Oh my God, introduce us! Rachel Green : This is Chandler. Jill Green : Hi! Rachel Green : And you know Monica and Ross! Ross Geller : Hi Jill. Rachel Green : And that's Phoebe , and that's Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how you doin'?", "summary": "Woman: Seeks sister Rachel; Rachel: Meets Chandler and introduces him to family; Chandler: Excited to meet Rachel's family; Monica and Ross: Greet Jill; Joey: Says \"how you doin'\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Don't!! Janine : No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on. Janine : I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I do. How you doin? Janine : I'm okay. Joey Tribbiani : What?!?! Oh dear God! Joey Tribbiani : Not much to tell there I'm really shy. The Interviewer : So, that's it. I guess that's all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month. Joey Tribbiani : Oh great! Great! Thank you.", "summary": "Joey tries to repel Janine, who isn't interested in him romantically. Rachel and Janine are friends, but Janine doesn't feel the same way about Joey. The conversation ends with Joey being excited about the interview for a job at a bar."}
-{"dialogues": "The Interviewer : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Bye-bye. I did it! Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Amazing! Amazing! The Interviewer : Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, what's your favorite soap opera? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, y'know? The Interviewer : Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest will be happy to hear that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, good to know. So close! Rachel Green : Wow! I can't believe they didn't put it in the part where you said you didn't watch soap operas. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani didn't watch soap operas, Rachel Green was surprised they didn't include Joey's response in their previous question, and Ross Geller was amazed."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You slept with her didn't you? Joey Tribbiani : Little bit, yeah. Ross Geller : Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, that's just a little something for my huge gay fan base. Ross Geller : Did you just wink at me? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're the one that loves the picture. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : So what's the final head count on my baby shower?", "summary": "Ross finds a photo of Joey and a woman he slept with, leading to a conversation about their past sexual encounters. Monica brings up a baby shower for Rachel, and Phoebe joins in."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do. Monica Geller : Also both of your sisters called and neither can make it. Rachel Green : What?! You mean they're not coming to a social event where there's no men and there's no booze?! That's shocking! I don't care, as long as my mom's here. Monica Geller : Oh my God, your mother! Rachel Green : What?! My mom's not gonna be here?! Monica Geller : Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was. Rachel Green : My God! Monica Geller : Well it wasn't my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations! Phoebe Buffay : Well I don't, I don't have a mother so often I forget that other people... Monica Geller : Oh give it a rest!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group plans a social event without men or booze, but their mothers fail to show up."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?! Phoebe Buffay : No. Neither is mine. Monica Geller : Okay, y'know what? Don't worry, okay? We'll take care of it. We'll call her. Just go home and get ready. Rachel Green : Please, make sure she comes. It's really important to me, I mean it's my mom! Phoebe Buffay : I know. I know, what's her number? Rachel Green : I don't know. Monica Geller : Go! I have it in my book. Go! Wait a minute! If you're in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call her-Hello Mrs. Green! Hi, it's Monica Geller. Sandra Green : Oh, hello Monica. Monica Geller : Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but we've decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today. Sandra Green : I know, my daughter's told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.", "summary": "Rachel wants her mother at her baby shower but she won't be able to come. Phoebe and Monica offer to call her to make sure she comes, but Rachel can't remember her mother's number. They look it up in a book and Monica ends up accidentally calling Rachel's mother instead of hers."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm-I'm so sorry. Sandra Green : For what dear? For not inviting me or lying about it? Monica Geller : Oh my God, my ass is sweating! Please! Please! Can you come? It's today at four. Sandra Green : Well all right. I'll see you at four. Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Isn't it at three? Monica Geller : Son of a bitch! Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! You wanna shoot some hoops? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, I can't go. I'm practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show. Ross Geller : Oh cool!", "summary": "Monica invites Sandra to a gathering at 4 pm, but Sandra thinks it was scheduled for 3 pm. Monica becomes flustered and apologizes profusely. Meanwhile, Phoebe mistakenly believes the gathering is at 3 pm, and Chandler asks Joey to play basketball with him. Ross learns about an audition for a new game show."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's great. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, and if I get it by day I'll Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night I'll be Joey Trrrribbiani! Chandler Bing : You'll be perfect for this! That's already your name! Joey Tribbiani : But the audition's in a couple hours and I don't even understand the game. Ross Geller : Well do you want some help? Joey Tribbiani : Oh really? That'd be great! You guys can be the contestants! Ross Geller : Awesome! Chandler Bing : Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Let's play Bamboozled! Chandler Bing : Bamboozled?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey auditions for a game show with Chandler and Ross' help."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, isn't that a cool name? Ross Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : No! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why don't you tell us a little something about you Ross? Ross Geller : Well uh, I-I'm a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! And uh... Joey Tribbiani : I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler? Chandler Bing : Well Joey, I'm a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. Hi Rasputin! Joey Tribbiani : Excellent! Let's play Bamboozled! Chandler, you'll go first. What is the capital of Columbia? Chandler Bing : Bogota. Joey Tribbiani : It's Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.", "summary": "Ross Geller is a paleontologist living in New York with his son Ben. Chandler Bing is a headhunter who finds work for out-of-work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. In a game of Bamboozled, Chandler incorrectly answers the capital of Colombia as \"Bogota,\" but Ross allows him to pass or choose a Wicked Wango card."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What does a Wicked Wango card do? Joey Tribbiani : I should know that. Let's see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wango card determines whether you go higher or lower. Chandler Bing : Higher or lower than what? Joey Tribbiani : This is embarrassing. Chandler Bing : Can you believe how lame this is? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I don't believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. That's good right? Monica Geller : You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate! Phoebe Buffay : What? He's gonna be dressed as a baby! Oh hi Mrs. Green! Monica Geller : Hi!", "summary": "Higher or lower than what?"}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm so glad you could make it. Monica Geller : Yes, thank you so much. And again, we're so sorry. We could not feel worse about it. Sandra Green : Try. There's my little girl. Monica Geller : She's still mad. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I know. Isn't it great? One less person we have to make small talk with. Monica Geller : Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too. It-it doesn't bother you? Phoebe Buffay : No look, we've apologized twice! I can't do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it. Monica Geller : Okay. I can do that. I gotta go powder my ass. Sandra Green : Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didn't know better I'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, let's get some tea. Rachel Green : Okay.", "summary": "A conversation between Monica Geller, Phoebe Buffay, and Sandra Green about a situation where they are all upset with each other. They apologize and try to move on, but Sandra is still angry with Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandra Green : Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I don't want you to use your housekeeper 'cause it would just split her focus. Rachel Green : Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I don't even have a housekeeper. Sandra Green : It's like you're a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You don't know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay. Rachel Green : Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. Sandra Green : Such a sweet woman. Rachel Green : Well, however great she was I just can't afford that. Sandra Green : Oh Rachel! Rachel Green : What? Sandra Green : I just had the greatest idea! I'm gonna come live with you! Rachel Green : Wh-wh-what? What?", "summary": "Rachel is not sure if she has picked a nanny yet for her upcoming baby and Sandra thinks it would be best to hire one. Sandra suggests that Rachel cannot rely on her housekeeper for help and offers to come live with Rachel to assist her. Rachel is surprised and unsure about this offer."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandra Green : Oh, I'm so happy I'm gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes. Rachel Green : Yes. Yes I do. Joey Tribbiani : All right Ross you're in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem? Ross Geller : The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, I'll take another question. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath. Ross Geller : It's okay, I'm ready. Joey Tribbiani : No dude, you gotta hold your breath until you're ready to answer the question. Chandler Bing : This is ridiculous, he's not gonna hold his breath... Joey Tribbiani : Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris...Holy cow, that's a big word. Trisc... Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that? Chandler Bing : Let me see that.", "summary": "Ross struggles with a question on the game show \"Wheel of Mayhem,\" while Joey and Chandler mock him. Sandra brings her daughter to the show, and Rachel has tears in her eyes."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : This one right here. Chandler Bing : Triscadecaphobia. Ross Geller : The fear of Triscuts! Joey Tribbiani : No! No, fear of the number 13. Chandler Bing : Fear of Triscuts? Ross Geller : It's possible, they have really sharp edges. Joey Tribbiani : All right Chandler, you're up. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, I-I believe I'm entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn? Chandler Bing : This game makes no sense! Ross Geller : Y'know what? You're just upset because you're losing.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group plays a board game and Joey has a fear of the number 13, while Chandler has a fear of Triscuts (a fictional shape). Ross believes he can use an \"Angel Pass\" to take a turn for free, but Chandler becomes frustrated with the game's logic."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh come on Ross, I think we're all losers here. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler, you can either spin the wheel or pick a Google card. Chandler Bing : Let me think. Let me think-Oh! I don't care. Joey Tribbiani : You-you must choose Mr. Bing. Chandler Bing : Either, it makes no difference. Joey Tribbiani : Choose, you jackass! Chandler Bing : I'll take a card. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, you picked the Gimmie card! You get all of Ross's points! Ross Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : This game is kinda fun.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani are playing a game with Ross Geller, where they must choose between spinning a wheel or picking a Google card. Chandler doesn't care and chooses a card, but Joey insists he must make a decision. Chandler ends up picking the \"Gimmie\" card, giving him all of Ross's points."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You don't think it's a little crazy that you get all my points just 'cause you... Chandler Bing : I don't think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other. Rachel Green : Why did you invite my mother?! Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby. Phoebe Buffay : For how long? Rachel Green : Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing. Monica Geller : I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me. Phoebe Buffay : She can't hear you. Rachel Green : What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are competing in a contest, but they are not supposed to talk to each other. Rachel invites her mother to move in with her and Ross to help take care of their baby, but Phoebe thinks this is crazy. Monica offers to let Rachel's mother live with her instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you don't want your mother to move in with you, just tell her. Rachel Green : You're right. You're right. I mean I'm about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I don't want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! She's gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen! Monica Geller : That's right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you don't want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer! Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : This is great! Now she's gonna be mad at Rachel! Y'know what? And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had. Phoebe Buffay : I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! It's time to open the presents! Monica Geller : Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because you're the most important person in this room. And in the world! Sandra Green : Well uh, I don't have a gift because I wasn't invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyone's attention. Phoebe Buffay : How about you less important people, let's open your presents! Rachel Green : Mom that's okay that you didn't get you a gift!", "summary": "Rachel is pregnant and doesn't want her mother to move in with her, but she's too afraid to tell her. Her friends advise her to be direct and not take no for an answer. Meanwhile, Phoebe has a newfound respect for Chandler after he helps them with a problem. As they open gifts at the baby shower, Monica suggests that Rachel's mother should give her a gift from the grandmother of the baby, as she's the most important person in the room."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandra Green : Well, I kinda did. Me. Eight weeks of me. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own. Sandra Green : Sweetheart I know you're gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning. Rachel Green : But mom, I really know what I'm doing. I can handle this. Sandra Green : Really? Remember Twinkles? Rachel Green : He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, come on Rach it's present time! Y'know you're the glue that's holding this whole party together. It's kinda falling apart here. Sandra Green : Oh look. Rachel Green : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is from your friend at work.", "summary": "Rachel plans to raise her baby on her own with little help from her mother Sandra, who offers assistance but is met with resistance from Rachel. Meanwhile, Phoebe tries to keep the party together by bringing attention back to Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! Wait a minute. That can't be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby? Sandra Green : Darling, that's a breast pump! Rachel Green : Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! What's this? Woman : It's a diaper genie. Rachel Green : Oh, it dispenses clean diapers! Woman : No! It's where you put the dirty ones! Rachel Green : Well that's gross, why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster? Sandra Green : Oh you're gonna do that ten times a day? Rachel Green : What?! It goes ten times a day! What are we feeding this baby?! Indian food?! Sandra Green : No dear, that's what babies do.", "summary": "A woman shows a group of people what she thinks is a beer bong for a baby, but it turns out to be a breast pump. The group then discusses a diaper genie and the frequency of changing dirty diapers. One person suggests throwing the diaper genie in a dumpster, while another person jokes about feeding the baby Indian food."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart. Sandra Green : Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while you're trotting out to the garbage ten times a day? Rachel Green : I don't know, I'd leave it on the changing table? What?! What'd I do? What'd I do?! Sandra Green : You can't leave a baby alone! Rachel Green : Oh come--Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who would-she wouldn't be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Y'know what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, I'm just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful. Woman : It's actually a bassinet. Rachel Green : Okay mommy, don't ever leave me. Joey Tribbiani : In what John Houston film would you hear this line, \"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!\" Chandler Bing : Treasure of the Sierra Madre! Joey Tribbiani : Correct! There's a possible backwards bonus!", "summary": "Rachel is planning a baby shower and wants to open presents early but is overwhelmed. Her mother Sandra advises against leaving the baby alone and Rachel agrees. A guest brings a bassinet as a gift, and Monica says she should listen to her mother's advice. Joey mentions a line from a John Wayne movie and Chandler corrects him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Madre Sierra the of Treasure! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Chandler Bing : I'd like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please. Joey Tribbiani : Wise choice, how many rungs? Chandler Bing : Six! Joey Tribbiani : That noise can only me one thing. Chandler Bing : Hungry monkey. Ross Geller : Hungry monkey! Haaa! I'd like a Wicked Wango card! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, it's an audio question, name this television theme song. Ross Geller : Oh. Oh! Oh my God! Okay, I know this, give me-give me a second!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey go on a treasure hunt, climbing a ladder of chance to reach a golden mud hut. Ross joins in, answering an audio question about a television theme song."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Tell it to the Time Turtle! Ross Geller : Shut up! I Dream of Genie! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes, you're back in the lead! Ross Geller : I'd like to spin the wheel! Chandler Bing : Oh come on!! Joey Tribbiani : All right! All right! Uh, umm, Super-Speedy Speed round! Ross Geller : Is there a hopping bonus? Joey Tribbiani : Of course! Joey Tribbiani : Who invented bifocals? Ross Geller : Ben Franklin.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler have a disagreement, while Joey tries to take the lead. Ross spins the wheel and lands on \"I Dream of Genie,\" while Joey uses a Super-Speedy Speed round to answer questions correctly. Ben Franklin is credited with inventing bifocals."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Correct! Which monarch has ruled Great Britain the longest? Ross Geller : Queen Victoria. Joey Tribbiani : Correct again! But, you forgot to switch legs between questions, so no hopping bonus! Ross Geller : Noooo!!! Every time!!! Joey Tribbiani : Now, over to Chandler. Chandler Bing : I'd like a Google Card. Joey Tribbiani : Are you sure? Chandler Bing : Yes! No! Google! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, you've been Bamboozled! Chandler Bing : Nooo!!", "summary": "Queen Victoria ruled Great Britain the longest. Chandler Bing wanted a Google Card but was bamboozled by Joey Tribbiani."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : This is the best game ever!!! Rachel Green : So umm, you're gonna stay with me as long as I need you? Sandra Green : Of course I am! Rachel Green : Oh mom, I swear I'm not an idiot. I've read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didn't think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The baby's coming and I don't know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie? Sandra Green : No. Sweetie, you're gonna be fine. Rachel Green : Wait-wait where are you going? Where are you going? Sandra Green : I'm going to the bathroom. Rachel Green : Okay. Sandra Green : Now don't worry! Everything's gonna be okay.", "summary": "Ross Geller and Chandler Bing play a game, while Rachel Green discusses her pregnancy with her mother Sandra Green. Rachel is unprepared for the birth of her baby and becomes anxious, while Sandra reassures her that everything will be okay."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It is going to be okay! It was worth a shot. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty? Ross Geller : I just Bamboozled Chandler! Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower. Phoebe Buffay : Not if you were here. Ross Geller : Wow! It looks like we got a lot of good stuff. Rachel Green : Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all. Ross Geller : A Play-Dough Barber Shop? Rachel Green : No. She's going to live with us for eight weeks. Ross Geller : Uh, what?", "summary": "Ross bamboozles Chandler, gets red and sweaty, and then reveals he took a quick shower. Phoebe arrives and teases Ross about being red and sweaty. Monica gives them a gift, but it turns out to be something unexpected (a Play-Dough Barber Shop). Rachel's mom is coming to live with them for eight weeks."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes! She's gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. Ross Geller : What-You're not serious. I mean she's a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. She'll drive us totally crazy. Sandra Green : Hi Ross! Ross Geller : Hi roomie! Man : Hey Joey, hi! I'm Ray; I'm the producer of the show. Joey Tribbiani : It's a pleasure to meet you Ray. Ray : And this is Duncan and Erin, they're gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, let's get the camera rolling. Joey Tribbiani : Rightie-O Ray! Ray : Whenever you're ready. Joey Tribbiani : Hello, I'm Joey Tribbiani! Let's play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross disagree on whether they can take care of their newborn baby for eight weeks with Sandra's help. Joey and Ray meet for an audition, with Duncan and Erin assisting. During the audition, Joey plays a game called \"Bamboozled\" with Erin asking questions."}
-{"dialogues": "Erin : Wayne Gretzky. Joey Tribbiani : Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem? Ray : Uh Joey, didn't your agents give you the revised rules? We've eliminated all of that. No wheel, no cards. Joey Tribbiani : What-Why?! Ray : Uh well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didn't follow it. Joey Tribbiani : Well what's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! You're in Paradise Pond! Ray : Yeah all that's gone. It's basically just a simple question and answer game now. Joey Tribbiani : Well what's fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game that's just people standing around answering questions? Ray : Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores. Joey Tribbiani : Let's play Bamboozled!", "summary": "* Erin and Joey discuss a game show called Wicked Wango\n* The game has been revised and eliminated the wheel and cards\n* Joey is disappointed by the changes\n* Ray explains that the game is now a simple question and answer game with women holding up the scores\n* Joey expresses frustration with the new format and suggests playing Bamboozled instead"}
-{"dialogues": "Sandra Green : ...and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage. Ross Geller : Well we...we don't have a garage. Sandra Green : Did I say garage? I meant garbage. Ross Geller : Y'know what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, it's not absolutely vital that you live with us. Sandra Green : Well Rachel needs help with the baby. Rachel Green : I do. I really do. I don't know anything. Ross Geller : I'm-I'm sure that's not true. Rachel Green : Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies? Phoebe Buffay : No, not a thing. Monica Geller : It's frightening.", "summary": "Ross and Sandra argue over his dinosaur knick-knacks, while Rachel expresses her uncertainty about caring for their newborn baby. Phoebe and Monica chime in with their lack of knowledge about babies."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well uh, y'know what? Even if she doesn't know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didn't live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself. Sandra Green : That's true. You do have another child. Ross Geller : Yeah. Sandra Green : With another woman. Have you no control Ross? Ross Geller : That's a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to...to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things. Sandra Green : Well then you really don't need me to live with you. Ross Geller : Yes! Yes, you're gonna be so missed. Sandra Green : You're gonna be a great father. Ross Geller : Well you're gonna be a wonderful grandma. Rachel Green : Hello?! I still don't know what the hell I'm doing!", "summary": "Ross has a son and wants to take care of him when he's born. Sandra acknowledges this and says Ross will be a great father."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. You'll-you're gonna pick it up. Hey! You will! Uh look, y'know when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddy's credit card. Do you remember? Rachel Green : I hope you're going somewhere with this. Ross Geller : Look at you! What-You're-you're this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt you're gonna be an incredible mother. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : I'm telling you. Rachel Green : Thank you. Sandra Green : All right you two, I'm gonna get going. Ross Geller : Oh. Sandra Green : Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. I'll let myself out. It's like I'm not here, which I almost wasn't. Monica Geller : You're still so funny. You're so funny. What do I do?", "summary": "Ross tries to reassure Rachel that she will be a great mother despite feeling overwhelmed, recalling her initial struggles in New York City and using it as evidence of her capability. Sandra interrupts their conversation before leaving, prompting Ross to express his amusement at the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and she's been nothing but terrible to you. And don't forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasn't even thanked you for it. Monica Geller : Y'know what? You're-you're right. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, I'd tell her off. Monica Geller : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Monica Geller : Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasn't on purpose! But what you're during to me now is just plain spiteful! Sandra Green : Spiteful?! Monica Geller : That's right! Maybe it's time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady...old lady...lady! Phoebe Buffay : Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up... Monica Geller : So whenever you're ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! I can't feel my legs!", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica are upset with Mrs. Green for leaving a party without saying goodbye to them, and Monica confronts her about it. Mrs. Green defends herself, but Monica accuses her of being spiteful. Phoebe tries to wrap up the conversation, but Monica continues to argue with Mrs. Green. In the end, Monica forgives Mrs. Green and the conflict is resolved."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You were fantastic! I'm so proud of you! Monica Geller : Yeah? I'm proud of me too. Phoebe Buffay : You should be! Monica Geller : Yeah could-could-could you get me something to drink? Phoebe Buffay : You got it! Monica Geller : Okay. Mrs. Green! Okay I'm really sorry!! I'm apologizing for the- Okay, I bit my tongue, but I'm still really sorry! Rachel Green : Okay! I'm ready. Ross Geller : You sure? Rachel Green : Yes, I've done my studying and I really know my stuff. Ross Geller : All right then. Rachel Green! Let's play Bamboozled! How do you test the temperature of the baby's bath water?", "summary": "Monica asks Phoebe for a drink, and Phoebe offers to get it for her. Monica apologizes for something, but Phoebe bites her tongue and continues to offer to get the drink. Rachel joins in and says she's ready to play Bamboozled with Ross, and they begin discussing how to test the temperature of baby bath water."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Uh, put your elbow in it. Ross Geller : Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap? Rachel Green : Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers. Ross Geller : That's correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? Rachel Green : Check if it's wet, check if it's hungry, burp it! Ross Geller : Excellent! Excellent, now-now do you want another question or a Wicked Wango card? Rachel Green : A card! A card! I pick a card! Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry you've been Bamboozled! You're gonna be a terrible mother! I've lost sight of why we're doing this! Ross Geller : Hey you guys I got some bad news. Phoebe Buffay : Well that's no way to sell newspapers. Why don't you try, \"Extra! Extra! Read all about it!\"", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about babies and naps, with Ross asking questions and Rachel providing answers. Phoebe interrupts to sell newspapers before Ross delivers some bad news."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, Monica's restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. I didn't want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. Joey Tribbiani : Man, this is bad! And I've had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. \"Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal.\" Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?! Ross Geller : Umm... Monica Geller : Oh dear God! Ross Geller : But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know. Monica Geller : What about the rest of Manhattan?! Ross Geller : Yeah, they all know.", "summary": "Ross buys up all the copies of a bad review of Monica's restaurant in the local newspaper to spare her feelings, but the news quickly spreads throughout the neighborhood. Meanwhile, Joey reminisces about his own share of bad reviews and Chandler tries to make light of the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, this is horrible! Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry. Monica Geller : I'm so humiliated! Rachel Green : Yeah but y'know what they say Mon, \"There's no such thing as bad press.\" Monica Geller : You don't think that umm, \"The chef's Mahi Mahi was awful awful,\" is bad press? Rachel Green : I didn't write it. Monica Geller : Is he right? Am I really-Am I awful? #ALL# : No! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And I'm not just saying this because I'm your friend, I'm sayin' it 'cause it's the truth. You're food is abysmal! Rachel Green : Ross!", "summary": "Monica's food is terrible and she is embarrassed. Rachel tries to make light of the situation by saying \"There's no such thing as bad press,\" but Joey disagrees and tells Monica that her food is actually awful."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What?! What? Rachel Green : I am freaking out! Ross Geller : Are ya? Rachel Green : My due date is in one week! Ross Geller : What are you doing up? Rachel Green : That is seven days! Ross Geller : Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after... Rachel Green : No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service! Ross Geller : It's funny you should mention diapers. Rachel Green : I'm serious.", "summary": "Rachel reveals that she is due to give birth in one week and is freaking out about not having everything ready for her baby. Ross tries to calm her down but she is panicking about not having all the necessary items."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay look, there's nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. There's a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay? Rachel Green : Okay. Thank you. That's great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because there's this really cute shoe store that has like this little... Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. If uh, if you're gonna do this, then I'm gonna do that. So... Rachel Green : Oh, wait Ross! I'm sorry, one more thing! Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : Umm, our situation. Y'know umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-we're having this baby together, and we live together. Isn't that, isn't that weird? Ross Geller : Well uh... Rachel Green : I'm just kidding! You can go pee! Monica Geller : Joey! Now that you're here... Joey Tribbiani : Sure, I can hang out 'til I have to meet ya. What uh-How come you're not going?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are getting ready for their baby's arrival and go shopping for furniture. Ross takes Rachel to a baby store on West 10th Street, but Rachel distracts him by bringing up their personal situation and their living arrangement together. Joey arrives and hangs out with Monica until he has to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I have a job interview I have to get ready for. Joey Tribbiani : I thought you already have a job. Chandler Bing : And people say you don't pay attention. No, this is a much better job. It's vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! How do you know how to do that?! Chandler Bing : That's what I do now. Monica Geller : Hey Joey, come taste this. Joey Tribbiani : What is it? Monica Geller : Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well... I'm getting my revenge! Joey Tribbiani : You cooked him? Monica Geller : No. He Teaches A Course On Food Criticism At The New School, So Before We Go To The Movies I Wanna Go By There And Make Him Try My Bouillabaisse Again. Oh, I Cannot Wait To Read The Front Page Of The Post Tomorrow! \"Restaurant Reviewer Admits I was wrong about Monica.\"", "summary": "Chandler has an interview for a new job as vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring. Joey is surprised because he thought Chandler already had a job. Monica reveals that she is getting revenge on a food critic who gave her a bad review by making him try her bouillabaisse again."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : The front page? You really do live in your own little world, don't ya? Cashier : Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller? Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : No-no-no! No, no, no, we're not married. Ross Geller : We are having a baby together, but we're not involved. I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. Or, yes stranger, we'd like this delivered please. Cashier : Why don't you fill out this address card. Ross Geller : Oh, okay. Cashier : I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items. Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Actually, that's one of the reasons why we're not a couple.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are not married, despite what Chandler assumes, but they are having a baby together. Ross and Rachel were previously involved, but then they were just friends, and then there was one drunken night. They fill out an address card for delivery and Rachel mentions that she picked out dinosaur items, which is another reason why they are not a couple."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I chose those, I'm a paleontologist. Cashier : Really?! That is so cool! Rachel Green : Oh. Oh yeah, don't get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not. Cashier : Oh no-no, I'm fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book? Ross Geller : Yeah! I-I teach it in my class. Rachel Green : Oh my God! I'm standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and I'm bored. Cashier : Oh, I love your neighborhood. There's a great gym right around the corner from your building. Ross Geller : That's my gym. Cashier : I can tell you work out. A paleontologist who works out, you're like Indiana Jones. Ross Geller : I am like Indiana Jones.", "summary": "Ross, a paleontologist, is at a cash register with Rachel when they start discussing their shared interests. The cashier is fascinated by paleontology and asks Ross about it, who reveals that he teaches the subject in his class. The conversation turns to their fitness habits, with the cashier complimenting Ross on his physique and comparing him to Indiana Jones."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go? Rachel Green : Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasn't on the list. A whore. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Rachel Green : Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him. Phoebe Buffay : Well did she know you two weren't married? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Well the idea of a woman flirting with a-with a single man, we-we must alert the church elders! Rachel Green : You don't understand! You didn't see how brazen she was. Phoebe Buffay : Sounds like you're a little jealous.", "summary": "The friends go shopping for baby supplies and Ross almost buys something not on the list - a woman who flirts with him. The saleswoman is brazen and Rachel is jealous."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! I'm not! I-I-I just think it's wrong! It's-it's that I'm-Here I am about to pop and he's out picking up some shop girl at Sluts 'R' Us! Phoebe Buffay : Is that a real place? Are they hiring? Chandler Bing : Hey Phoebe! Fatty! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Chandler, why so fancy? Chandler Bing : Well, I got a job interview. It's kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and I'd be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, I think I know someone who does that. Chandler Bing : Me! I do that. So... Seriously, do I look okay? I'm little nervous. Rachel Green : Oh yeah! You really-You look great. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, just don't get your hopes up. Chandler Bing : Why not?", "summary": "Chandler gets a job interview for a new job that pays more and has better work conditions, but he is nervous about going. Phoebe tries to help him relax by pointing out that she knows someone who does the same job. Rachel compliments Chandler on how he looks before the interview."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, the interview... Chandler Bing : What about it? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know! You don't make a very good first impression. Chandler Bing : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh you don't know. Chandler Bing : Are you serious?! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, when I first met you, you were like, \"Blah, blah, blah.\" I was like, shhh! Chandler Bing : What is it that I do? Phoebe Buffay : Well it's just like you're trying too hard. Always making jokes, y'know, you just-You come off a little needy. Chandler Bing : Did you like me when we first met?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe and Chandler have an interview together, but it doesn't go well due to Chandler's poor first impression. Phoebe criticizes him for being too needy and making jokes too much, while Chandler wonders if Phoebe liked him when they first met."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. Monica Geller : Hi! Umm, I'm Monica Geller, I'm the chef at Alessandro's. The Food Critic : Still? Monica Geller : I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance. The Food Critic : I don't see any reason why I would do that to myself again. Joey Tribbiani : Either eat it, or be in it. Monica Geller : Spoon? So, what do you think? The Food Critic : I'm torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soup is abysmal. Joey Tribbiani : Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; there's a new class comin' in. The Cooking Teacher : Welcome to introduction to cooking. Now, before we start, can anyone tell me the difference between a hollandaise sauce and a bearnaise sauce?", "summary": "Rachel runs away from Chandler. Monica wants The Food Critic to give her bouillabaisse another chance but he refuses. Joey suggests eating or making the soup. The Food Critic is torn between his integrity and avoiding a beating, but ultimately declares the soup abysmal. A new cooking class begins with a question about hollandaise and bernaise sauces."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I can. The Cooking Teacher : Okay, go ahead. Monica Geller : Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon. The Cooking Teacher : That's very good, what's your name? Monica Geller : Monica. The Cooking Teacher : Monica, you go to the head of the class. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life? Ross Geller : My son? Pretty serious. Oh hey Katie! What uh, what are you doing here? Katie (saleswoman) : Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this.", "summary": "Monica Geller and Rachel Green discuss cooking, with Monica highlighting the differences between bearnaise and hollandaise sauces. The Cooking Teacher joins in, impressed by Monica's knowledge. Meanwhile, Ross Geller talks to Katie (a saleswoman) about a delivery issue and his son Ben."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ah, must've been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store. Katie (saleswoman) : Listen, to be honest, home deliveries are really a part of my job description. Ross Geller : Oh. Katie (saleswoman) : Oh uh...I actually came here to ask you out. Ross Geller : Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. I'm just gonna put this back in my pocket, pretend that didn't happen. Uh yeah, actually I'm free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or... Katie (saleswoman) : Sure! Rachel Green : Horny bitch. No! You're a horny bitch! Noooo! You're the horny bitch! No! You're a horny bitch! Rachel Green : So you guys go, have a really good time. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. Y'know because of the Indiana Jones? Not-not because I'm-I'm into S&M. I'm not-I'm not into anything weird. Y'know? Just-just normal sex. So, I'm gonna grab my coat. Rachel Green : So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.", "summary": "Ross and Katie, a saleswoman at his store, have a flirtatious conversation about home deliveries being part of her job description, followed by her asking him out on a date. Ross agrees and they plan to grab coffee together. Meanwhile, Rachel makes various comments about their conversation, including referring to Katie as \"a horny bitch\" and joking about Ross's potential date."}
-{"dialogues": "Katie (saleswoman) : Are you okay with this? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun. Katie (saleswoman) : Okay. It was nice to see you. Rachel Green : Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button. Katie (saleswoman) : Oh umm, actually I umm... Rachel Green : Oh okay, I see what you're doing there. Chandler Bing : I can't even believe this! I really come off that badly? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! It's okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are. Chandler Bing : Oh good. Good, because I'm sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks. Phoebe Buffay : All right, don't freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?", "summary": "Rachel Green and Katie (saleswoman) have a friendly conversation while Chandler Bing and Phoebe Buffay listen in on their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : An hour. Phoebe Buffay : I can't help you. Chandler Bing : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : All right, all right, we'll just do our best. Okay? So let's say I'm the interviewer and I'm meeting you for the first time. Okay. \"Hi! Come on in, I'm uh, Regina Philange.\" Chandler Bing : Chandler Bing. Phoebe Buffay : Bing, what an unusual name. Chandler Bing : Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. I'll let myself out. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. The Cooking Teacher : Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese? Joey Tribbiani : When you say used, do you mean eat as a pre-cooking snack?", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Phoebe Buffay have a conversation about an hour long. Chandler introduces himself and mentions his unusual name, while Phoebe meets him for the first time. Joey Tribbiani enters the conversation and discusses cooking with The Cooking Teacher."}
-{"dialogues": "The Cooking Teacher : And the cream? Joey Tribbiani : Cheese makes me thirsty. The Cooking Teacher : Okay. Let's move on. Joey Tribbiani : All right. The Cooking Teacher : Oh! Something smells good over at Monica's station! Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! You've never made this before? Monica Geller : Oh no! I don't know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what it's called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles. The Cooking Teacher : Well, hats off to the chef. Monica Geller : I-I-I'm sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didn't hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now? The Cooking Teacher : The chef! Monica Geller : That's right.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around food and cooking, with The Cooking Teacher and Joey Tribbiani discussing various ingredients and dishes. Monica Geller joins the conversation and reveals that she knows little to nothing about cooking, leading The Cooking Teacher to compliment her on her efforts."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : ...I think you'll find if I come to work here, I don't micro-manage. I don't shy away from delegating. Phoebe Buffay : Um-hmm, that's good to know. But let's stop focusing on what you don't do, and start focusing on what you do do. Chandler Bing : What I do do...is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me. Phoebe Buffay : I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way. Chandler Bing : Hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Phoebe Buffay : You gotta go! Chandler Bing : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't worry. You're ready. Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Absolutely! Just fight all your natural instincts and you'll be great.", "summary": "Chandler tries to prove he doesn't micro-manage or shy away from delegating by showing how he creates an atmosphere of support for his team. Phoebe encourages him to embrace his new role and not fight his natural instincts."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. The Cooking Teacher : Ah Monica, my star student. Monica Geller : Y'know, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. The Cooking Teacher : Oh, yum-yum-yum. Monica Geller : Wow! A star! I know you all hate me and-and I'm sorry, but I don't care. The Cooking Teacher : Okay Joey, you're up next. This are good! This is amazing! You get an A! Joey Tribbiani : I can an A? In-in school? Hey, I'm a dork. Monica Geller : Joey! I'm so proud of you! The Cooking Teacher : I think you should give him your star. Monica Geller : Excuse me? He doesn't even know what he's doing!", "summary": "Monica creates a star out of aluminum foil for her cooking teacher, who is impressed with her baking skills. Joey receives an A in the class and is proud despite being a \"dork.\" Monica considers giving Joey the star but decides against it because he doesn't know what he's doing."}
-{"dialogues": "The Cooking Teacher : We're all beginners here. Nobody knows what they're doing. Monica Geller : I do! I'm a professional chef! Oh relax! It's not a courtroom drama! The Cooking Teacher : If you're a professional chef, what are you doing taking Introduction to Cooking? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Monica Geller : I'm-I'm sorry, it's just that umm... Well I-I cook at this restaurant, Alessandro's, and umm I just got a really bad review... The Cooking Teacher : Oh Alessandro's! I love that place! Monica Geller : You do? The Cooking Teacher : Oh yes! You're an excellent chef! As a person you're a little... Monica Geller : Oh, I'm totally crazy, but you-you like the food? The Cooking Teacher : Very much.", "summary": "Monica Geller is a professional chef who takes an Introduction to Cooking class despite being a pro. Her teacher thinks she's crazy and has a good review of her restaurant Alessandro's."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay then, I don't stink. I'm a good chef. Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I don't want to go. I'm having fun. The Cooking Teacher : Well actually, did either of you pay for this class? Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says it's time to go, it's time to go. Chandler Bing : ...also I was the point person on my company's transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system. The Interviewer : You must've had your hands full. Chandler Bing : That I did. That I did. The Interviewer : So let's talk a little bit about your duties. Chandler Bing : My duties? All right. The Interviewer : Now you'll be heading a whole division, so you'll have a lot of duties.", "summary": "Monica and Joey are taking a cooking class, but Joey doesn't want to leave when the teacher asks them to. Chandler, who works in IT, recently oversaw his company's transition to a new computer system (the KL-5 to GR-6)."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I see. The Interviewer : But there'll be perhaps 30 people under you so you can dump a certain amount on them. Chandler Bing : Good to know. The Interviewer : We can go into detail... Chandler Bing : No don't I beg of you! The Interviewer : All right then, we'll have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, you'll fit in well here. Chandler Bing : Really?! The Interviewer : Absolutely. You can relax; you did great. Chandler Bing : Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Y'know I've been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. Duties. Duties! Poo. The Interviewer : Poo?", "summary": "Chandler Bing is interviewing for a job and becomes anxious about fitting in with his potential coworkers. The interviewer reassures him that he will fit in well but Chandler is still nervous. He makes a joke about \"duties\" and the interviewer responds with \"poo.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh my God this doesn't count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! There's a crazy guy out in the hall! The Interviewer : Poo?! Chandler Bing : I'll look forward to your call. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi! You're back from your date! Ross Geller : How are you? Rachel Green : I'm fine, but that's not important. What's important is how was she? Ross Geller : Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee. Rachel Green : Oh uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table. Ross Geller : What's uh, what's going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?", "summary": "Chandler Bing is being interviewed when an imposter enters and causes chaos."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No! No, she's-She was nice. I mean, she's a little slutty, but who isn't? Ross Geller : I liked her. Rachel Green : Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones! Ross Geller : Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?! Rachel Green : No! It's just that, Kate bothered me. Ross Geller : Why? What was wrong with her? Rachel Green : There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely! Ross Geller : Okay, so what's the matter? Rachel Green : I don't want you to date her! Ross Geller : Why? What, what are you jealous?", "summary": "Rachel doesn't want Ross to date Kate because she finds her annoying."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I don't want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know it's a terrible thing to even think this, and it's completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! I'm very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : I won't date. I'll uh, I'll be here, with you, all the time. Rachel Green : Really? But I'm being so unreasonable. Ross Geller : True, but you're allowed to be unreasonable. You're having our baby. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. Ross Geller : Do you feel better? Rachel Green : No, not really. You're pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. Ross Geller : Uh Rach?", "summary": "Rachel wants Ross to be with her 24/7 and refuses to accept his apology. Despite her unreasonableness, Ross agrees to be with her always."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Just one thing umm... Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : We live together. You're having our baby. I'm not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you don't want something more? Rachel Green : Wow! I don't know, maybe. I'm... Ross Geller : Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin' around! Like you did last night when I had to pee? Rachel Green : I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin' with you too! Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you said you... Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no-no, no! Ross Geller : ...that you actually...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about living together and having a baby, with Ross expressing his desire to commit to her. However, they also engage in playful banter and teasing each other, leaving their true intentions unclear."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No that's just--That's just 'cause I'm such a good messer! Ross Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Ross Geller : The bathroom? Rachel Green : Right! Joey Tribbiani : Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, that's the first A I've gotten since seventh grade, and I didn't have to sleep with the teacher this time. Monica Geller : Oh, look! Acting for Beginners! Want to feel good about yourself? Joey Tribbiani : What the hell! Monica Geller : Okay. The Acting Teacher : All right, let's start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about her being a good messer, before Joey enters and talks about his recent trip where he learned how to bake and had a great time. Monica then brings up an acting class she found and tries to persuade Joey to join, but the acting teacher interrupts and asks for clarification on the difference between upstage and downstage."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, this was a stupid idea. Ross Geller : Hey! What are you guys looking at? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's a poster for that World War I movie that I'm in, check it out. Ross Geller : Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh! I know. I'm coming soon to a theater near you! I'm in THX! I'm unsuitable for children! Ross Geller : Now I cannot wait to see this. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, it's already generating Oscar buzz. Phoebe Buffay : I started that! Joey Tribbiani : I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and you're all invited! Monica Geller : Are we gonna take a limo?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey Tribbiani and Ross Geller discuss a poster for a World War I movie that Joey is in, with Joey excitedly mentioning its violent content and Oscar buzz. Phoebe Buffay joins the conversation and invites everyone to the movie premiere next week."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Sure! Why not?! Monica Geller : Oh I love taking limos when nobody died! Rachel Green : Well obviously I won't be able to come, for those of you who haven't checked their calendars today is my due date. Well y'know, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great you've been during this time. I really couldn't have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant. Rachel Green : That's right, still no baby! Come on people! Please make some room! Ross Geller : Uh sweetie, maybe you'd be more comfortable here? Rachel Green : You. Like you haven't done enough. Ross Geller : Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. Because with seahorses it's the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, I'd be far away in the sea. Rachel Green : God. I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life! Phoebe Buffay : Oh I know, I've been there. I remember toward the end... Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe, that's a great story. Can you tell it to me when you're getting me some iced tea? Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!", "summary": "Rachel is pregnant and nearing her due date, but she is also feeling uncomfortable and anxious. She thanks her friends for their support during this time, but they are unable to provide much comfort as Rachel is experiencing severe discomfort. Ross tries to help by offering to carry the baby, but Rachel is not amused. Phoebe shares a story from her own pregnancy experience, but Rachel is more focused on her own discomfort and asks Phoebe to get her iced tea."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Let's. Chandler Bing : Hey! Did you have the baby yet? Rachel Green : Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? 'Cause I'll do it. Monica Geller : What are you doing here so early? Rachel Green : They sent me home from work. They were like, \"Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby.\" Well y'know what? Screw 'em! If they don't want me there, I'll just hang out with you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Or you can do volunteer work. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Estelle Leonard : Joey! It's Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere. Joey Tribbiani : One guest? You told me I can have six tickets! Estelle Leonard : Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. You'll be sitting next to HotGuy372.", "summary": "Rachel is sent home from work early due to her pregnancy and decides to hang out with her friends instead of resting. They chat about various topics, including Estelle's ability to get Joey tickets to a premiere, but he only has one ticket left for him and another guest."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. So that's it?! I only get to bring one guest? Estelle Leonard : Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross. Rachel Green : What-what about me? Joey Tribbiani : You said you didn't want to go. Rachel Green : I don't. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because I'm pregnant you think I'm invisible. Joey Tribbiani : Definitely not invisible. Monica Geller : Well, well Ross didn't care enough to be here, so I think he's out. You snooze you lose. Chandler Bing : He's not snoozing, he's teaching a class. Monica Geller : Well then somebody's snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here.", "summary": "Joey only gets one extra ticket to his movie premiere and must choose between three guests: Rachel, Ross, or Monica. Meanwhile, Rachel wants to be acknowledged despite being pregnant, and Chandler tries to make a joke about Ross teaching a class but ends up getting corrected by Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I haven't seen this dress. Monica Geller : Star in a movie. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? Phoebe, Phoebe. Joey Tribbiani : Well uh...I think I want to take Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe-Burrrrr! Chandler Bing : You really want to take me? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! I mean I'm sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but y'know Chandler always supported my career. He's paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back. Chandler Bing : So you're never actually going to pay me back? Monica Geller : Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots you're gonna take him? Joey, I don't think you're comprehending just how slutty this dress is! Joey Tribbiani : It's not just the stuff he paid for, I mean it's-it's everything. Y'know? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didn't get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didn't believe in myself.", "summary": "Joey wants to take Chandler to the movie premiere because Chandler has supported Joey's acting career. Monica objects, saying the dress is too slutty. Joey and Chandler have a complicated history of support and gratitude."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I always knew you were gonna make it. I'm so proud of you. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. That means a lot to me. Phoebe Buffay : Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna go shave. Chandler Bing : Yeah well, I'm gonna go spit. Rachel Green : Oh, I have to pee. If I don't come out in five minutes it's because I've choked to death on the potpourri stink. Phoebe Buffay : When she comes out, you hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth, and the kid will just right out of her. Monica Geller : She's over a week late! She gotta have it today, right? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I-I think it's still gonna be a while. Monica Geller : Hmm, care to make it interesting? I'll bet you that she'll have it by this time tomorrow.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey congratulate each other on their success, while Phoebe makes a comment about one of them wearing the other's dress. Joey says he's going to shave, and Chandler responds by saying he's going to spit. Rachel mentions that she has to pee, and Monica makes a bet with Phoebe that Rachel will give birth by the next day."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You're on! Monica Geller : Okay, how much? Phoebe Buffay : One hundred thousand dollars! Monica Geller : How about fifty bucks? Phoebe Buffay : Fine! I'll call Zurich and move some money around. Rachel Green : All right, who's turn is it to help me get up! Phoebe Buffay : No one's here! Oh damnit! Chandler Bing : This is so exciting! It's so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look? Joey Tribbiani : A little tall. Chandler Bing : What?", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica argue over a bet amount, while Rachel tries to get help standing up. Phoebe calls Zurich to move money around, and Chandler becomes excited about being in the spotlight."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? There you go. Chandler Bing : It's just so glamorous. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, you're still pregnant. Oh, I'm sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Y'know what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks. Rachel Green : Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. Monica Geller : Damnit! Damnit!! Here's your fifty bucks! Phoebe Buffay : It's interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose? Monica Geller : Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! You're on! Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp right there.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are pregnant, while Joey wants to look taller by crouching down. Chandler finds it glamorous, while Phoebe meets Rachel and mentions her discomfort. Monica offers to bet $50 that Rachel will have the baby before tomorrow, and they make a deal."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctor's appointment. Monica Geller : She's in the bathroom. Ross Geller : Rach, we gotta go. Rachel Green : In a minute!!! Ross Geller : People ask me why we're not together, I just don't know what to tell them. Rachel Green : All right, all right. Let's go! Ross Geller : Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctor's keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry... Rachel Green : No, I'm fine. Ross Geller : Really? You don't think that's a little inappropriate. Phoebe Buffay : Good God man don't anger it.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are on their way to a doctor's appointment with Rachel, but she's taking her time in the bathroom. Ross wonders aloud why they're not together, while Rachel hurries to get ready. Phoebe joins the conversation and tries to calm Ross down."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable. Ross Geller : Fine! Fine! Y'know what? Whatever you want. Okay? You're the mommy. Rachel Green : Oh uh-uh pal! Don't call me mommy! It's bad enough you call your own mother that. Monica Geller : I'm actually with her on this one. Joey Tribbiani : \"I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along.\" Joey Tribbiani : Okay, this is it. It's my big fight scene coming up. Rachel Green : Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Can I ask you something? Ross Geller : Uh-huh.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about the weather, with Rachel being comfortable for the first time in weeks. Joey prepares for his big fight scene, while Monica agrees with Rachel about Ross calling her \"mommy.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : When Carol was pregnant with Ben... Ross Geller : Mmm? Rachel Green : ...were you this irritating? Ross Geller : Wow! Rachel Green : Excuse me?! Ross Geller : Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, you've been a little short with me lately. I'm not trying to irritate you. Rachel Green : Well then you just must have a natural talent for it. Ross Geller : Y'know what? The doctor will be in soon, why don't we not speak until then. Rachel Green : Okay. Seriously, breathe louder Ross! That's great! Ross Geller : Y'know we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human and half pure evil!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Ben's pregnancy, with Ross making light of it. Rachel becomes irritated and tells Ross to breathe louder, leading to a comical exchange about the baby's possible mixed human and evil genes."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi Dr. Long, how are you? Ross Geller : Oh, you're nice to her. Rachel Green : She has the drugs! Dr. Long : We'll do a quick check. Rachel Green : Okay. Dr. Long : So, eight days late huh? Rachel Green : Yeah. Dr. Long : You must be a little uncomfortable. Rachel Green : Eh, just a tad. Dr. Long : You're about 80 percent effaced, so you're on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If you're anxious there are a few ways to help things along.", "summary": "Rachel is pregnant and visits her doctor, Dr. Long, for a check-up. Dr. Long confirms that Rachel is 8 days late and remarks that she is about 80% effaced, indicating that the pregnancy is progressing. However, he warns that it could still last a little longer and offers suggestions to help speed up the process if Rachel is anxious."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Do them!! Dr. Long : Actually, they're things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience I've found that some of them are quite effective. Rachel Green : Well, we are ready to try anything. Dr. Long : Okay, there's an herbal tea you can drink. Rachel Green : Okay. Dr. Long : You can take some caster oil, there's eating spicy foods... Rachel Green : Great! We will do all of those. Dr. Long : ...taking a long walk, and then there's the one that's proved most effective: sex. Ross Geller : You've got to be kidding me! Chandler Bing : Good job Joe! Well done! Top notch!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are ready to try home remedies for a miscarriage, including drinking herbal tea, taking caster oil, eating spicy foods, and having sex."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You liked it? You really liked it? Chandler Bing : Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Which part exactly? Chandler Bing : The whole thing! Can we go? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics. Chandler Bing : I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part? Chandler Bing : I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic. Joey Tribbiani : You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didn't take any of my suggestions! That's for coming buddy. I'll see you later. Chandler Bing : Don't go! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! Or, call an ambulance.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Chandler watch a movie together, with Chandler falling asleep during it. Joey is upset that none of his suggestions were used in the film."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come? Rachel Green : No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor. Ross Geller : Yeah, we tried them all. We went for a walk, uh we tried a special tea, caster oil, spicy food nothing has worked. Rachel Green : Well, there is one thing that we haven't tried, but someone thinks that, \"That will open up a can of worms.\" Monica Geller : Well what is it? What is it? If it's gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it. Ross Geller : It's sex. Monica Geller : Do it!", "summary": "The group tries to induce labor for Rachel's baby, but nothing works. They finally suggest having sex to try and bring on labor, despite reservations from Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Monica! Monica Geller : I'm just saying it's been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours! Phoebe Buffay : Oh I-I don't know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic. Monica Geller : All right, let's be practical, if Ross isn't willing to do it, he's not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow Chandler-Chandler is good! Ross Geller : Monica, what is the matter with you? Monica Geller : Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today. Rachel Green : Why? Why today? Monica Geller : Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that you're gonna have the baby and I don't want to lose again! Ross Geller : What?! While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money?! You're betting on your friend staying in this misery?! Rachel Green : I'll take that bet.", "summary": "Monica wants to have a baby but Ross is not willing to do it. Phoebe suggests they have sex to get pregnant, but Monica is hesitant and Rachel joins in on the conversation, making a bet with Monica that she will give birth before her. The conversation escalates into a heated argument between Ross and Rachel about their priorities and values."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Well, I'm miserable here! I might as well make some money out it! Ross Geller : Can I get some of that action? Monica Geller : Wait a minute! Now I'm betting against all three of you? Rachel Green : Oh honey, don't worry. I really do feel like tomorrow's the day. Monica Geller : Oh, okay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Sleeping beauty! Chandler Bing : Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep? Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry.", "summary": "Rachel makes a bet with Ross and Monica that she can make money while miserable, but Joey and Chandler are skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? You've done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you? Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Give me a number, I don't want to owe you anything! Chandler Bing : You don't owe me anything, I don't want you money... Joey Tribbiani : Ah-ah-ah! We're doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those? Chandler Bing : I don't know, five hundred dollars? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, five hundred dollars. What else? Chandler Bing : Well then there was the second set, the infamous booger head shots. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so that's another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, that's... Chandler Bing : Do you want a calculator?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani wants to pay back Chandler Bing for all he has done for him and his career, including taking him to the premiere but missing it. Chandler refuses to accept money from Joey, but they continue to list various expenses and come up with a total of $1,050 that Joey owes him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Please! Chandler Bing : Here! Joey Tribbiani : All right, what else? Chandler Bing : Well uh, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes... Joey Tribbiani : Which we're still keeping under our hats! Chandler Bing : Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican. Joey Tribbiani : What the hell are you talking about, \"The south will rise again man.\" Chandler Bing : Yes, money well spent! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent! Chandler Bing : Okay, two, three years of rent, utilities, food...", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss their experiences with acting classes, including a southern accent lesson that went wrong. They also mention rent and utilities as financial burdens."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay, so I'm writing you a check for...So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing? Ross Geller : Come on, finish your enchilada. Rachel Green : Ross I-We tried all the spicy food. It's not working. Ross Geller : Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha... Oh God! So...so hot! Oh my- By the way, you don't want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye. Rachel Green : I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you. Ross Geller : Stop it. Rachel Green : Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know what's gonna work! It's doctor recommended! Ross Geller : I'm sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, I'm dying. Rachel Green : Oh come on Ross, we've done it before we'll do it again, it'll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy. Ross Geller : This is insane, I'm not gonna make love to you just so that you'll go into labor.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel try various methods to induce labor, including eating spicy food and using a pepper, but nothing works. Ross becomes uncomfortable and frustrated, while Rachel becomes increasingly impatient and suggestive."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Make love? What are you a girl? Ross Geller : Always a great way to get in a man's pants. Rachel Green : But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, y'know you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out. Ross Geller : I love when you talk dirty to me. Rachel Green : Oh, I know it. You're right. That's not sexy. Oh...Oh! Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. Oh God! Ross Geller : Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen. Rachel Green : Come on Ross! I'm miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me. Ross Geller : Y'know what? Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Forget it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a flirtatious conversation in which they discuss making love, with Rachel using suggestive language and Ross teasing her. However, their conversation is interrupted when Rachel drops her fork and Ross becomes frustrated and ends the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh wow! What now Ross you're not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. I mean you'd think the damn jalepeno would've cleared up your sinuses, but no!! That's not enough... What are you doing?! Ross Geller : I'm getting that baby out of you! Rachel Green : Oh God! Ross Geller : Oh, I know. Rachel Green : Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke. Ross Geller : I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys? Rachel Green : Okay! I got the keys! Okay! Okay! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : We're having a baby.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are expecting a baby after Ross helps her get rid of a jalapeno that was causing sinus problems."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I didn't uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to... Ross Geller : Not so much. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Two hundred. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! Monica Geller : That's it. I'm done. I don't care when the baby comes, no more betting. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Hello? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. I guess we can bet one more time. Phoebe Buffay : Is Rachel having the baby? Monica Geller : How did you know that?! Joey! Chandler!! It's time!", "summary": "Rachel is pregnant and the friends place bets on when she will give birth."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : They're at the coffeehouse. Monica Geller : You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. I bet you it has hair. I bet you it's a girl. Phoebe Buffay : We know it's a girl! Monica Geller : I'll give you really good odds. Ross Geller : All right! Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!! Rachel Green : Yes, the hard part is truly over. Ross Geller : No, but come on, we're off to a great start aren't we? I knew I'd get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record! Phoebe Buffay : Oh you made it! Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : How are you doing?", "summary": "The gang is at a coffeehouse when Monica makes a bet with Phoebe that the baby will be over seven pounds, have hair, and be a girl. Ross agrees to drive Rachel to the hospital, but they make it in under seven minutes."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wait a minute! How-how the hell did you beat us here? Monica Geller : We took a cab. Did you guys walk? Ross Geller : N... No! We took a cab too, but I did test runs! Chandler Bing : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You made it! Ross Geller : Okay is there...some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?! Rachel Green : Ross, you stay here and talk, I'm gonna go have a baby. Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. I'm Ross Geller. We-we called from the car. Nurse : Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute... Rachel Green : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I'm sorry, semi-private? We , we asked for a private room.", "summary": "Ross and Monica arrive at the hospital before their friends, who took a cab but did test runs to check the route. Rachel goes into labor and Ross becomes frantic when he realizes they are in a semi-private room instead of a private one."}
-{"dialogues": "Nurse : Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we can't guarantee a private room and currently they're all unavailable. Chandler Bing : Man, if only you'd gotten here sooner. Nurse : I'm sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have. Rachel Green : Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Give her some money. Ross Geller : I really think they're out of rooms. Rachel Green : They're not!! Ross, they're just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?! Ross Geller : Well then we'd be in a lot of trouble, you don't know where any countries are. Okay. Uh, say would you umm... Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have opened up? Nurse : This is a hospital.", "summary": "A patient is seeking a private room in a hospital, but unfortunately they are all unavailable. The patient's friend offers to give money for a private room, but the nurse explains that there are no more rooms available. The patient becomes frustrated and suggests that if they were the president, they could get a private room. The nurse politely declines this suggestion and offers to check again for any available private rooms."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Y'know what? I'd have to say I really don't care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem to-Whoa! Oh gosh! Whoa! Ross Geller : What-what? Rachel Green : Ow! Ow! Contraction. Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Nurse : Would you like to see a semi-private room? Rachel Green : Yeah, it couldn't hurt to look. Dr. Long : Well you're only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. It'll be a while. Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Dr. Long : I'll be back in an hour to check you again. Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Thank you. Well, I guess we have some time to kill.", "summary": "Rachel is in labor and isn't happy with the nurse's tone. Ross tries to help but gets hit in the face. The doctor checks on Rachel and estimates that she is two centimeters dilated, but it will be a while before she is fully dilated."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! Never done this before. Rachel Green : Yeah well it looks great! Man : Thank you very much. Woman : Thanks. Ross Geller : Hi! Hi, I'm uh Ross. I'm here to ruin this magical day for you. Man : Oh no-no, not at all. Woman : Don't worry about it. Man : Marc Coreger, this is my wife Julie. Ross Geller : Hi Julie. Julie Coreger : Hi.", "summary": "Ross ruins a magical day for a couple by interrupting their introduction with an awkward greeting."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : This is Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Marc Coreger : Oh hi Rachel. Rachel Green : How are you? Julie Coreger : Hi. Is this your first? Rachel Green : Yeah it is. Julie Coreger : Well, little Jamie here is our third. So, if you have questions or you need anything at all, just holler. Rachel Green : That's so sweet. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Rachel meets new people, including a couple with a child named Jamie."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Umm say, I-I opened this earlier but let me give you guys some privacy. Marc Coreger : No nonsense! We're all in this together. Julie Coreger : Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think we're gonna have some fun. Marc Coreger : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, okay. Marc Coreger : Hey! Smile! Rachel Green : Oh no, I really don't want any--Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross... Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Here comes another contraction. Ross Geller : Oh. Okay, just breathe.", "summary": "The group shares a moment of privacy but then decides to include Ross in their plans for fun and laughter."}
-{"dialogues": "Julie Coreger : Oh honey, I think I'm having one too! Marc Coreger : Look at this! There we go! Phoebe Buffay : Oh wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest. Monica Geller : Hey, you wanna see something? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! What? Monica Geller : Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : Listen uh, I-I've been doing some thinking, and I don't know whether it's because we're here or Rachel's giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : What-what-what's that now?!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are having a baby, but it takes three hours and they are getting frustrated. Phoebe makes fun of them for watching the birth, but then Monica suggests they try to have a baby themselves."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. I've been thinking about it too, and I, I think we're ready. Monica Geller : What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think we're ready to have a baby now?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is fun. Joey Tribbiani : You're ready to have a baby? My boy's all grown up! Chandler Bing : But you said you were ready too. Monica Geller : Yeah but I was just screwing with you to try to get your voice all high and weird like mine is now! Chandler Bing : Yes, but haven't you wanted a kid like forever? Monica Geller : Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. 'Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Are you crazy?! Monica Geller : That's it! Right there! Is all I wanted!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are considering having a baby, but Monica pretends to be hesitant to mess with Chandler's voice. Phoebe joins in on the conversation, making jokes about Joey being the father. Meanwhile, Joey reveals that he is actually ready to have a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Marc Coreger : I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam. Rachel Green : Oh, that's very-Really very-very okay. Marc Coreger : Julie's cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, that's about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself. Julie Coreger : Have you felt Rachel's cervix Ross? Rachel Green : No, I don't think we'll be doing that. Ross Geller : We're not gonna do that. Julie Coreger : Well, if you like you can feel Rachel's and then feel mine to compare. Judy Geller : Am I interrupting? Ross Geller : Uh yes! Thank you. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh wait no.", "summary": "Julie's cervix is dilated 7 centimeters and Marc gets to feel it himself. Julie suggests feeling Rachel's cervix as well, but Ross intervenes and says they won't be doing that."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Later. Rachel Green : No-no-don't! Don't leave me here with these people. Ross Geller : Oh uh, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father! Ross Geller : Hi! I'm so glad you're here, but it's gonna be a while. I-I wished you'd called first. Judy Geller : Oh that's all right, I'm coming back later with your father. Ross Geller : Oh good. Judy Geller : I actually needed to talk to you before the birth. Ross Geller : Okay, what's up? Judy Geller : I brought something that I want to give you, assuming of course that you want it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at a party when he receives a call from his wife Judy, who informs him that their baby is on the way. Ross is shocked and tries to leave the party to be with her, but Rachel intervenes and insists that he stay."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ma, you're asking me to marry you? Judy Geller : This is your grandmother's engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel. Ross Geller : Mom no, come on! Thank you. Judy Geller : Just hear me out! Ross Geller : N-no! Okay? We've been through this! We're not gonna get married just because she's pregnant, okay? Judy Geller : Honestly! Ross, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family. Ross Geller : Mom, y'know what? I-I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry... Judy Geller : Just...think about it. If you don't, I'll talk more about humping. Ross Geller : Gimmie! Rachel Green : Hi!", "summary": "Ross is asked to marry his mother's friend Judy so that Rachel can have a family."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : Oh hi dear! Rachel Green : Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here! Ross Geller : ...she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why I'm not with Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Why aren't you with Rachel? Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Look, we're not gonna be together just because we're having a baby. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : But y'know what? It just seems that you two belong together. Ross Geller : Okay, stop it! I can't deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby. Phoebe Buffay : Right. And with who again? Joey Tribbiani : God. He's crazy! Why doesn't he want to be with Rachel? Phoebe Buffay : I know!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a baby, while Phoebe tries to convince Ross that he and Rachel belong together. Joey disagrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I mean seriously, she's like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadn't and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and... I haven't bummed you guys out like this in a while have I? Ross Geller : Hey. Who's that? Rachel Green : New people. Ross Geller : What happened to the Disgustingtons? Rachel Green : They're having their baby! It's not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away. Ross Geller : Wow! Sorry. So uh, how are the new people? Rachel Green : Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction! Ross Geller : Yeah? Okay. Rachel Green : Ooh! Ow!! Evil Bitch : Are you looking at her?!", "summary": "Joey admires a woman who rejected him, while Ross and Rachel encounter new people with unusual pet names for each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Sick Bastard : No! Evil Bitch : Don't you look at her you sick bastard! Sick Bastard : Honey I swear! I wasn't looking at her! Evil Bitch : She's in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch! Ross Geller : Umm. Umm, I'm-I'm just gonna- Evil Bitch : See? See? It was because you were looking fat pervert! Ross Geller : No-no, I'm...I'm sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. Evil Bitch : You miss your girlfriend? Ross Geller : Just ignore them. Rachel Green : Ross.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel encounter an awkward situation when they overhear a couple arguing in a hospital hallway. The man insults Ross, calling him a \"sick bastard,\" while the woman is in labor."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? What? Rachel Green : He's looking at me. Ross Geller : Hey! You wanna live to see your baby?! Evil Bitch : Don't you talk to my husband like that you stupid bastard! Monica Geller : Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it! Monica Geller : What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies? Chandler Bing : I'm not crazy about babies. I'm crazy about us. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Look, we've always talked about having babies someday. I'm not saying it has to be right now, but I'm starting to think that we can handle it. We're good. We're really good. Monica Geller : We are pretty good.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Ross looking at Rachel's husband, while Monica and Chandler argue over having a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : But nothing has to happen until your ready. Monica Geller : Well maybe I'm ready now. I mean, it's a little scary, but maybe it's right. Chandler Bing : What?! It's not right! We're not ready to have a kid now!! Monica Geller : What?!! Chandler Bing : I'm kidding. This is going to be fun. Monica Geller : So we're gonna try? I mean, are we trying? Chandler Bing : We're trying to get pregnant. Y'know I'm not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying? Monica Geller : Okay, hold on a sec. Chandler Bing : Period math? Monica Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to get pregnant but are unsure when to start trying. They discuss their feelings about having a child and Chandler jokes about it before they decide to move forward with attempting to conceive."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : Well, we could start trying. Now. Chandler Bing : Right here? Monica Geller : No, not here. Maybe here. Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, it's perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and we're in a building that's full of beds! Monica Geller : And it's so clean!! Joey Tribbiani : Come on you stupid machine! Come on! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it ate your money? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'll see you downstairs then.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler try to have sex in secret but are interrupted by Joey and Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : All right. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Hey I got one! I got one! Man : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Man : Oh uh, up or down? Phoebe Buffay : Oh down please. I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? Man : Could you press up too please? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! I feel so bad for you; I broke my leg once too. Man : Oh yeah? How'd yours happen?", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe are talking to a man at a urinal. Joey suggests they both press up or down, but the man asks Phoebe if she can also press down for him. Phoebe agrees, and the man reveals that he broke his leg once as well."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's a long story. It's kind of embarrassing. Let's just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. How about you? Man : Car accident. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Man : Oh, let me guess some idiot on a cell phone wasn't paying attention? Man : Yeah. Me. Oh hey, that's me. Hey uh, I take it you're just visiting someone. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah. Man : Well umm, if you have sometime y'know and maybe you might want to visit someone else... Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! I-I would like that. Man : I'm in the middle... Phoebe Buffay : Wait! What?! No!! Elevator!! No!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe and a man have a conversation about their respective embarrassing experiences. The man was involved in a car accident caused by someone on their phone, while Phoebe made a typographical error with a sex manual."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh, you gotta press the button. Ross Geller : The nurse said they're bringing in another woman. Rachel Green : Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesn't need to be; she'll still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! Ross Geller : That's it. That's it. Woman : Oooh, that sounded like a bad one. Rachel Green : Yeah it was. Woman : Mine haven't been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now. Oh, that was a big one! Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient I'm looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, he's like early to mid-thirties, very attractive. Nurse : I think I know who you're talking about. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yay! Great! Okay, what room number is he in?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at the hospital while Ross's wife is giving birth to their baby. Joey tries to push a button but can't reach it. The nurse brings in another woman who is also having contractions. Phoebe comes looking for a patient with a broken leg and is described as attractive."}
-{"dialogues": "Nurse : I'm sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff... Joey Tribbiani : Uh, she's with me. Dr. Drake Remoray. Nurse : Dr. Drake who? Joey Tribbiani : Remoray. It's Portuguese. We need that information; I'm a doctor. Nurse : A doctor at this hospital? Joey Tribbiani : Damnit woman we're losing precious time! Now do you want this man's blood on your head? Phoebe Buffay : Hands. Joey Tribbiani : Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. He's a patient of mine, I've been treating him for years! Nurse : He's in room 816. Joey Tribbiani : 816, thank you!", "summary": "Plot Summary: A doctor and his assistant try to obtain information about a patient's whereabouts from a hospital nurse, but she refuses to provide the information without proper authorization. The doctor becomes increasingly frustrated and confrontational, while the nurse stands her ground."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : And what is his name? Phoebe Buffay : No! Monica Geller : I think we found a place. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little? Chandler Bing : Okay. Uh, we'll dim the lights, dim the lights. Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. Monica Geller : Okay! Okay! Make me sterile, but okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Let's hurry-Oh wait! Do we have a condom? Oh right! Chandler Bing : Yes, 98.6. You're gonna be fine.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to set the mood for their dinner date, but they can't agree on whether to dim the lights or turn them out completely. Monica suggests using a scented candle, but Chandler vetoes the idea. They eventually settle on just turning off the lights, and Monica reveals that she doesn't have a condom."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, this is it! Oh, that's him! That's him! Joey Tribbiani : Great! Go get him. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a second, or maybe you can go in first. Joey Tribbiani : He's not really my type. Phoebe Buffay : No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see what's he like. People tell doctors everything. Joey Tribbiani : But you said he was this great guy! Phoebe Buffay : But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks. Joey Tribbiani : You do attract some stinkers. Rachel Green : Dr. Long, I've been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine? Dr. Long : Three.", "summary": "Dr. Remoray meets Joey Tribbiani and Phoebe Buffay who are looking for a great guy to date. However, Phoebe has had several negative experiences with men she thought were nice at first, leading her to be cautious. Meanwhile, Rachel Green is in labor and is impatiently waiting for news on her dilution."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Just three?! I'm dilated three! Dr. Long : We are moving along, just slowly. Don't worry, you're doing great. I'll be back soon. Rachel Green : Hey, y'know what? I'm not waiting! I'm gonna push this baby out! I'm doing it! I mean it's what? Three centimeters? That's gotta be like this! Ross Geller : Actually it's more like this. Rachel Green : Oh stupid metric system! Doctor : Oh my. We're gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room. Rachel Green : Oh for the love of God! Woman Giving Birth : It's coming! It's coming! Doctor : And here it is! Rachel Green : Oh come on!!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at the hospital for Rachel to give birth. Ross is dilated three centimeters, while Rachel wants to push the baby out immediately. The doctor warns them that they will need to take Rachel to the delivery room, and Rachel becomes frustrated with the metric system being used to measure her progress. In a rush of excitement, the baby is finally born."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hi! I'm Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you. Man : Really? I've been dealing with Dr. Wells. Joey Tribbiani : I know, but I'm a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me. Man : Dr. Wells is a woman. Joey Tribbiani : That was a test. Good response. All right, full name. Man : Clifford Burnett. Joey Tribbiani : Date of birth? Cliff : November 16th, 1968. Joey Tribbiani : Age? Cliff : Can't you figure that out based on my date of birth?", "summary": "Clifford Burnett (Man) is being evaluated by Dr. Drake Remoray (Joey Tribbiani), a neurologist, after previously working with Dr. Wells (who is actually a woman). Cliff provides his full name and date of birth, but declines to give his age, leading Joey to question him further."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm a doctor Cliff, not a mathematician. Cliff : I'm 33. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. And uh, are you married. Cliff : No. Joey Tribbiani : Oh really? So, 33 and still single, would you say you have commitment issues? Cliff : Are all the questions this personal? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Cliff : Well uh if you must know I'm a widower. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's terrible. I'm-I'm really sorry. Cliff : Yeah.", "summary": "Cliff is 33 and single, while Joey is a doctor who is not a mathematician. Cliff reveals he is a widower, and Joey expresses condolences."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again? Cliff : No. Joey Tribbiani : Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff y'know, sexually? Cliff : No! Joey Tribbiani : Oooh, wrong answer. Nurse : This room's available. Rachel Green : Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, that's four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! I'm next! It's my turn! It's only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me I'm going to sue you! Not this hospital, I'm going to sue you! And my husband he's a lawyer! Ross Geller : Uh Rach... Rachel Green : Go get back on that case honey! Nurse : I don't think the next patient is very far along.", "summary": "Joey and Cliff have a conversation about their sexual preferences, with Joey expressing his desire to never call a woman he sleeps with again. Rachel becomes upset and demands to be seen by the nurse, claiming she has been waiting longer than the other women who have already given birth. Ross tries to calm her down, but she insists on being next in line. The nurse informs Rachel that she may not be as far along as she thinks, and Rachel becomes even more agitated."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, well then bring her in. Woman : OH....MY....GAWD!!! Janice Litman Goralnik : I....can't....believe this! Ross Geller : And yet somehow it's true! Janice Litman Goralnik : I mean this is so great! We're gonna be baby buddies! Ross Geller : Squeeze your legs together and cover the baby's ears! Man : Hi sweetie! Janice Litman Goralnik : Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I don't think you've met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologist's office. Thank God for adult acne huh? Sid Goralnik : I still can't believe it! I'm the luckiest guy in the world! Ross Geller : Really?", "summary": "Rachel brings Janice to the apartment and she is shocked to see Ross and his new baby. Janice is excited to be a \"baby buddy\" and hugs the baby tightly, while Sid tries to process the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Sid Goralnik : What'd he say? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh y'know what? You have to speak very loudly when you're talking to Sid, because he's almost completely deaf. Rachel Green : Oh! Ross Geller : Oh there you go! Rachel Green : I get it! Janice Litman Goralnik : So? Congratulations you two, I didn't even know you got married. Rachel Green : Oh we-we didn't. Ross Geller : No-no. We... Janice Litman Goralnik : What?! Ross Geller : Um uh...We're-we're just having this baby together but uh, uh that's all.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are having a baby together, despite not being married."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Why?!! Ross Geller : Uh well umm...we're just not in that place, y'know? But we're very excited about this. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh. Well then shut me up. Rachel Green : Just tell me how. Janice Litman Goralnik : Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. Ross Geller : Sid you lucky deaf bastard. Phoebe Buffay : What else? What else? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well he's 33. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Ah-uh. Joey Tribbiani : A widower.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are excited about something, but Janice is skeptical. Ross insults her, and Phoebe tries to join in on the conversation. Joey reveals a personal detail about someone."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : He seemed like a stand up guy. Oh, and he's not into anything weird sexually. Phoebe Buffay : Enter Pheebs. Chandler Bing : Should we tell Rachel there's an empty private room right next door to hers? Monica Geller : We could, or we can have sex in it. Chandler Bing : Well let me think about that, while I remove my pants! Monica Geller : Okay mister! Fertilize me! Monica Geller : Does that sound like Janice? Chandler Bing : If it's not, then there's two of them. And that would mean it's the end of the world! Monica Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Joey meets a guy who seems nice, but isn't into anything weird sexually. Phoebe enters the conversation and suggests using an empty private room next to Rachel's for a tryst. Chandler jokes about removing his pants and Monica suggests they use the room for sex. They argue over whether it sounds like Janice, with Chandler concluding that there are multiple Janices if it doesn't sound like her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi. Rachel Green : Oh hi. Monica Geller : I can't believe this is taking so long. How are you doing? Rachel Green : Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when you're trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass? Chandler Bing : Weirdest thing. Did I hear--Mother of God it's true! Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler Bing! Chandler Bing : Jan-Janice! Ross Geller : Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.", "summary": "Ross, Chandler, Rachel, and Monica are discussing something when Rachel mentions feeling like she needs to blow a Saint Bernard out her ass. Chandler reveals that Janice is in labor, and Janice enters the conversation, proudly mentioning that she has a wide pelvis."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Janice I didn't even know you were pregnant! Who's the unwitting human who's essence you've stolen? Janice Litman Goralnik : It's you. This is yours. Chandler Bing : What?! Janice Litman Goralnik : Look how nervous he gets! We haven't slept together in years! Chandler Bing : That's funny. Does it-does it hurt? Does the labor hurt? Phoebe Buffay : Okay I've got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla? Cliff : I'd have to say...the talking gorilla, because at least I can explain to him that you're making me eat him. Phoebe Buffay : Somebody went to college. Wow. What is it? I'm sorry. Cliff : No, I'm sorry. It's just my foot itches like crazy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'll get it.", "summary": "Chandler and Janice are surprised to learn that she is pregnant, despite not having slept together in years. They exchange awkward banter before Phoebe interrupts with a bizarre question about eating a talking gorilla or a seeing-eye dog. Cliff, uncomfortable with the situation, jokingly suggests he would rather eat the talking gorilla to explain why."}
-{"dialogues": "Cliff : Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me. Phoebe Buffay : Relax, it's not like we're forking. Rachel Green : Oh that's five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesn't she want to come out? Ross Geller : Y'know what I think it is? I think you've made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesn't want to leave. Rachel Green : Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! Dr. Long : Twenty-one hours, you're a hero. Rachel Green : Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out. Dr. Long : Actually, I think you're ready to go to the delivery room. Rachel Green : What? Dr. Long : Ten centimeters, you're about to become a mom.", "summary": "Rachel Green is in labor and giving birth to her first child, but she is feeling anxious and uncertain about the process. Her friends try to comfort her and offer their support, but Rachel is determined to push through the pain and become a mother. Meanwhile, Dr. Long assures her that everything will be okay and that she is ready to give birth."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : My God. Okay. Ha-ha-ha beat ya! Sucker! Cliff : Is this the same spoon that was in my cast? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what? This one is. Cliff : Oh my God! That's the doctor who was in my room before! Phoebe Buffay : Huh. Okay, Mr. Perkazet. Cliff : I'm telling you! The guy from that show was here in my room, asking me all these weird questions! Phoebe Buffay : Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room? Joey Tribbiani : Rachel's having her baby!! Which is of no interest to me, I'm a neurologist. Cliff : That-that's him! You know him? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay. I-Okay umm...this...I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm y'know, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than I'm coming off right now.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nRachel is having her baby, but Joey (a neurologist) is not interested. Phoebe brings in a character from a TV show to ask Cliff questions. Cliff becomes convinced that the character is real and starts talking to him."}
-{"dialogues": "Cliff : I don't believe this. You got him to pretend he was some fake doctor? Joey Tribbiani : Fake? Excuse me? Hello? Cliff : And then you tried to make me think that I was crazy. Phoebe Buffay : You're right, that was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over? Cliff : I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brother's triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn! Phoebe Buffay : Uh Joey, we're trying to dial down the crazy. Joey Tribbiani : Right! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, look we don't, we don't really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I don't know about you but that doesn't happen to me a lot. Cliff : It doesn't happen to me either.", "summary": "Cliff and Phoebe start off in a conversation where Cliff expresses his disbelief at Phoebe's actions, including pretending to be a fake doctor and trying to make him think he was crazy. However, Phoebe apologizes and reveals that there is something between them, despite not knowing each other well."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Me neither. Dr. Long : Push. Push. Come on push for five seconds. 5...4... Rachel Green : 3-2-1 oh!! Dr. Long : Okay, the next contraction should be in about twenty seconds. Rachel Green : I can't. I can't push anymore, I can't. Ross Geller : Sweetie you're doing great. Rachel Green : Oh God twenty seconds my ass!! Dr. Long : Here we go! Okay, keep pushing! Wait! I see something. Ross Geller : What? You do? You do? Oh my God! Rachel Green : Don't say, \"Oh my God!\" Oh my God what?", "summary": "Rachel goes into labor and is struggling to push, with Dr. Long urging her to keep going. Ross tries to encourage her, but she becomes overwhelmed and can't continue. Suddenly, Dr. Long announces that he sees something and Ross gets excited."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What is that? Dr. Long : It's the baby's buttock, she's breech. Ross Geller : Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads. Rachel Green : Oh God. Is she gonna be okay? Dr. Long : She's gonna be fine. Okay, she's in a more difficult position so you're gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push! Ross Geller : Go! Dr. Long : Rachel you're gonna have to push even harder, nothing's happening! Rachel Green : I'm sorry, I can't! Ross Geller : Yes you can! Rachel Green : I can't!", "summary": "Baby is breech and in a difficult position during delivery, causing stress for the parents. Despite efforts to push, the baby is not coming out and the mother is struggling."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Hey! Come on! You can! I know you can do this! Let's go! Rachel Green : I can't. Please, you do it for me. Ross Geller : No! Come on let's-One more time! One final push! Ready? 1...2...3! Dr. Long : Good! Ross Geller : Keep pushing! Rachel Green : Are you okay? Ross Geller : You have no idea how much this hurts. Keep going! Keep going! Dr. Long : Here we go! Ross Geller : Oh! Oh! She's upside down but she's coming! She's coming! Rachel Green : Oh God!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are in a delivery room, where Rachel is giving birth to their baby. Ross encourages Rachel to push through the pain, while Dr. Long helps guide them through the delivery."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh! Oh my God oh! Oh my God she's here. Ross Geller : Oh she's...she's perfect. Rachel Green : Oh, she's so tiny. Where'd she go? Ross Geller : Oh it's okay. They're just-they're just wrapping her up. Rachel Green : Okay. Well be careful with her, she's really tiny. Dr. Long : Here she is! Rachel Green : Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, she's looking at me. Hi! I know you. Dr. Long : Do we have a name yet? Rachel Green : No, not yet. Dr. Long : That's fine, for now we'll just call her Baby Girl Green.", "summary": "Baby Girl Green is born after a conversation between Ross and Rachel, with Ross finding her perfect and Rachel worrying about her small size. The doctor arrives and names her Baby Girl Green until a suitable name can be decided upon."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh no, Baby Girl Geller-Green. Rachel Green : Hello baby girl. Phoebe Buffay : Can we come in? Ross Geller : Oh, come in. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : There she is! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she's so beautiful. Rachel Green : Here. Monica Geller : Oh my God! She's amazing. Oh, oh I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex! Chandler Bing : It's incredible, I mean one minute she's inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe find a baby girl they believe to be \"Baby Girl Geller-Green.\" They invite Ross and Joey in to see the baby, who are both shocked by her appearance. Monica is overjoyed and excitedly exclaims that she's glad they got drunk and had sex to conceive the baby. Chandler jokes that it's incredible how the baby can go from being inside Phoebe to being born 47 hours later."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : She looks so real! Y'know what I mean! She's this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and...uh-oh. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so we're good. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, my turn. My turn. Oh! You're so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! I won't. Monica Geller : What's the matter? Rachel Green : Oh nothing I... Sorry, I just can't stop crying. Ross Geller : The doctor says it's completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-you're sleep deprived. Rachel Green : So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I don't see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter now? Rachel Green : I was reliving it.", "summary": "Rachel becomes emotional while reliving a recent event involving her unborn child."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Chandler Bing : So, do you know what you're gonna call her yet? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait a minute it's not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original! Ross Geller : Uh actually, we-we've narrowed it down to two names. Rachel Green : Yeah, and y'know what? I love them both, so why don't you just pick one and that'll be it. Ross Geller : Wow! Umm, okay uh...everyone...this...is Isabella. What? Rachel Green : That's not her name! I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel like an Isabella. Chandler Bing : So then I guess Ferdinad is out. Joey Tribbiani : What was the other one Ross? Ross Geller : Umm, Delilah.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are naming their baby girl, with Chandler suggesting \"Baby Girl\" and Phoebe vetoing it. They then narrow down the name to two options, \"Isabella\" and \"Delilah,\" but Rachel ultimately rejects both names."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore. Ross Geller : So I guess we're back to uh, Baby Girl. Phoebe Buffay : Yay! Rachel Green : Well what are we going to do? Monica Geller : It's okay honey, you'll find a name. Ross Geller : Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be. Chandler Bing : You do? Monica Geller : Yeah, I've had them picked out since I was fourteen. Chandler Bing : Oh no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good isn't it? Rachel Green : Well tell us! What are they?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a baby girl, and Monica helps Rachel pick out a name. Chandler reveals that he has known the names of his future children since he was 14 years old, and the group discusses possible names for their kids."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Umm, okay. If it's a boy it's Daniel. Rachel Green : And if it's a girl? Monica Geller : I don't want to say. Rachel Green : Oh, just tell us! We're not gonna want it! Monica Geller : Okay. It's Emma. Rachel Green : Emma! See? I don't want it. Monica Geller : Take it. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : It's clearly an Emma. Rachel Green : Oh honey, but you love that name.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica and Rachel discuss the baby's gender and whether or not they want it. Monica initially hesitates to reveal the name, but eventually decides to share that it's Emma."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, but I love you more. Besides y'know, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed. I mean... Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, that's you. You're our little Em. Oh what's that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? You want a cousin right now?! Chandler Bing : That was amazing. Monica Geller : I know. Hey, do you realize we may have just changed our lives forever? We may have just started a family. Nine months from now we can be here, having our own baby. Chandler Bing : And if not, we got to do it on a bucket. Janice Litman Goralnik : Yoo-hoo! Aaron Litman-Neurolic would like to say hello to his future bride. Rachel Green : Ohhh! Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesn't he? Janice Litman Goralnik : He's a keeper. How are you feeling? Rachel Green : Oh, I'm fine. Janice Litman Goralnik : Can I just say, I really admire what you're doing. Just raising her all alone. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm not doing it alone. I have Ross.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler may have started a family after discovering they could be pregnant during a wild night. Meanwhile, Janice introduces her future husband to Rachel, who is excited about the possibility of motherhood."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married? Rachel Green : Well then he gets a divorce, it's Ross! Janice Litman Goralnik : I'm telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say they're gonna be there until they start their real family. Rachel Green : Well I-That's never gonna happen with Ross. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh well that's what I thought about my first husband, now I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs. Rachel Green : Really? Janice Litman Goralnik : I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two are on your own. Rachel Green : Well... That's...y'know-That's-We've been alone for the last twenty minutes we're doing okay. Besides y'know what? I-I-Maybe we won't be alone, 'cause lately I-I-things have been happening between me and Ross, y'know? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Y'know? So it might be the...the beginning of something. Ross Geller : Hey Janice! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh hi!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are in a relationship, but Janice thinks they will break up when Ross meets someone else and gets married. Rachel insists that won't happen, but Janice is skeptical. Meanwhile, Ross enters the room and interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Who's this little guy? Janice Litman Goralnik : Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law. Ross Geller : No-no. No. Janice Litman Goralnik : I'm gonna leave the three of you alone. Ross Geller : Okay. Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye. Ross Geller : Man! Did you see the kid on that nose? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Y'know what I was, I was thinking about? Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : Umm...that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some-something huh?", "summary": "Aaron is introduced as Ross's future son-in-law, causing tension between him and Janice. They leave each other alone, but not before Rachel shares a memory of a kiss with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah, it really was. But we...we gotta be careful. We...we can't let that happen again, y'know? Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : I mean we don't want to go down that road do we? Rachel Green : No! No, of course not. No. That's why I brought it up. They didn't have any sodas? Ross Geller : Oh my God! I'm sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot. Rachel Green : That's all right. And so it begins. Phoebe Buffay : Is she in there? Ross Geller : Yeah. She's putting her down now, that's her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ross Geller : Look at Emma!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss the past and how they need to be careful not to repeat past mistakes. Phoebe enters and joins the conversation, mentioning a nurse and Emma."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I just can't decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel? Ross Geller : Oh what are you kidding? She's gorgeous, it's all Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, for the last time, why aren't you two together again? No, I know. I know, because you're not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are. Ross Geller : It's...it's complicated okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer. Ross Geller : Look, we've been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. It's just if-if we got together again and it didn't work out...I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything- Oh that's...now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I we're doing really, we're doing really well right now. Phoebe Buffay : I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it. Ross Geller : Yeah, exactly. Phoebe Buffay : Right. Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were fifteen. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. What's the matter?", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss his complicated relationship with Rachel, who he has a daughter with but are currently apart. They worry about getting back together and potentially ruining their daughter's life."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Nothing. Joey Tribbiani : What is it? Hey! Rachel Green : Really it's nothing. I'm just... Joey Tribbiani : Rach come on, what? Rachel Green : I've just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone. Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about alone? What about Ross? Rachel Green : Oh please, he'll be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, how long was I watching that woman? Rachel Green : I'm just saying that y'know, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and...he's gonna have his own life. Right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess so.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey have a conversation about her concerns about being alone in the future without Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen to me, listen to me...you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise that's not gonna happen. Rachel Green : Joey. Honey what would I do without you? Joey Tribbiani : You don't have to worry about that okay? Rachel Green : Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? They're right on that chair under Ross's coat. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : My God. Rachel Green : Joey. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Okay.", "summary": "Rachel is raising her baby alone and feels overwhelmed. Joey promises to support her and comforts her with tissues."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Okay. Rachel Green : So uh...I guess we should...make it official huh? Joey Tribbiani : Uh... Look Rach... Hey Ross is here! Hey look! It's my good friend Ross. Hey Ross. Ross Geller : Hey Joey. Hey you. Rachel Green : Hey you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but I'm really more of a candy guy. Ross Geller : You're weird today. Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something. Rachel Green : Uh yeah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too. Ross Geller : Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?", "summary": "Rachel and Joey are considering making their relationship official, but Ross interrupts them with an unexpected gift of flowers."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. I meant no. Monica Geller : Hi! Hey look who's here! Jack Geller : Where's my granddaughter? I've been practicing my magic tricks. Chandler Bing : He pulled a quarter out of my ear! Ross Geller : Hey, where's uh, where's mom? Jack Geller : She went to pick up Aunt Liddy. Monica Geller : Oh, Aunt Liddy's coming? That means we get five dollars each! Jack Geller : So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this?", "summary": "Emma is visiting, and Jack wants to show off his magic tricks to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay. Wow. Ross Geller : Uh Dad, Emma's in the nursery. I'll take you now. If you want, but I really want to talk to you. Rachel Green : I know, I still need to talk to you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey but, before you guys do that I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh and I need to talk to you. Monica Geller : About what? Phoebe Buffay : To see if know what these guys are talking about. Monica Geller : Isn't she beautiful? Jack Geller : Look at her, my first grandchild. Ross Geller : What about Ben?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Emma being in the nursery while Joey and Phoebe need to talk to Ross and Monica about something. Jack admires his first grandchild, and Ross mentions Ben."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. Wow. Phoebe Buffay : Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel? Ross Geller : Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room. Phoebe Buffay : Yay! It's so exciting! Wow, you could've done that with us there. Ross Geller : Yeah right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you can't talk to Rachel. Ross Geller : What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys? Phoebe Buffay : Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge! That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me. That Mr. Hasmeje still has my Gameboy. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second? Chandler Bing : Sure.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel were going to talk about their relationship, but Ross hesitated in front of Phoebe and Joey. Phoebe found out about Ross's touching himself while asleep in the lounge, and Joey asked Chandler for a conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Dude I just did something terrible. Chandler Bing : That was you?! I thought it was Jack! Joey Tribbiani : No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me! Chandler Bing : What?! Why does she think that? Joey Tribbiani : Because it kinda looked like I did. Chandler Bing : Again, what?! Joey Tribbiani : Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand. Chandler Bing : As we all are at some point during the day. Joey Tribbiani : It wasn't my ring! It fell out of Ross's jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing! Chandler Bing : Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose?", "summary": "Joey mistakenly proposes to Rachel after finding a ring that fell out of Ross's jacket."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I guess. Chandler Bing : And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I know it's awful. Chandler Bing : Well, what did she say? Joey Tribbiani : She said yes. Chandler Bing : Does Ross know? Joey Tribbiani : Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him? Chandler Bing : Well maybe you don't have to tell him anything. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I like that. Yeah. Chandler Bing : If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!", "summary": "Ross is going to find out that Joey proposed to Rachel after she said yes, but Joey and Chandler don't want him to know."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Now let's not get carried away. Monica Geller : I want a baby. Chandler Bing : Honey, we've been over this. I need to be facing the other way. Monica Geller : Come on! Come on, if we have sex again it'll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closet's still available? Chandler Bing : I'm so tired. Yeah okay, but no foreplay. Monica Geller : Deal! Ross Geller : Dad seriously! Y'know you really should see someone about that! Jack Geller : Noted. Ross Geller : I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit? Jack Geller : Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.", "summary": "Monica wants a baby, but Chandler is hesitant and needs to face the other way during sex. They try again in a closed-off room, but Chandler is still tired and resistant to foreplay. Monica finds an old closet they used before, but Ross objects. Jack supports Monica's idea, while Ross wants to talk to Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Actually umm... Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Are you all right? Rachel Green : Uhh... I think I just got engaged. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! He did it? Rachel Green : Well...did you know he was gonna ask me? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? I'm like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group. Rachel Green : And you really think this is a good idea? Phoebe Buffay : I just talked him into it, don't tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel get engaged, but Rachel didn't know he was going to ask her, and Phoebe helped convince Ross to propose."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I just don't know! It just doesn't feel right. Phoebe Buffay : Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks so. Rachel Green : Really?! Even Ross? Phoebe Buffay : Especially Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh y'know what? I'll-I'll come back later. Ross Geller : Wow! Kind of uh, kind of a full house here. I'll guess just...I'll come back. Phoebe Buffay : There he goes, your fiance. Rachel Green : I guess so. Phoebe Buffay : Although he does play with himself in his sleep. Rachel Green : I can't say that I'm surprised.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have doubts about their engagement, while Phoebe tries to convince them they are meant to be together. Joey leaves abruptly, and Ross makes a comment about masturbating in his sleep."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Dad, what are you doing? Jack Geller : I think there are people in there having sex. Joey Tribbiani : It can't be me, I'm standing right here. Jack Geller : Wanna peek? Ross Geller : No! Jack Geller : Come on! Ross Geller : Y'know what? I don't like you without mom. Come on. Joey Tribbiani : We're not peeking? Jack Geller : Well I'm peeking. Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Hello sir, you know Monica.", "summary": "People are having sex in a room, and Ross doesn't want to look. Jack wants to peek, but Ross says no. Joey also doesn't want to peek. Chandler enters and greets Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, is it okay to come in? Rachel Green : Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I...it's beautiful I love it! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah uh look Rach, there's something I gotta tell ya. Rachel Green : Hey! Nurse : Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again? Rachel Green : Yeah! Hi Emma. Hey, why do you think she won't take my breast? Nurse : It's all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but don't worry. It'll happen. Joey Tribbiani : Yowsa! Rachel Green : Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth. Joey Tribbiani : Dear Lord.", "summary": "Joey buys a ring for Rachel, but has something important to tell her. Meanwhile, Emma tries to breastfeed but has difficulty, and the nurse reassures her it will happen with time."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm sorry honey, what were you saying? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that. Rachel Green : Oh look, she's pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? She looks scared. Doesn't she look scared? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I don't really know her. Nurse : Why don't we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me?! Rachel Green : It's just so frustrating! Why doesn't she want my breast?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! Maybe she's crazy! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! Wait up! Ross Geller : Hi!", "summary": "Rachel Green is frustrated that her baby is not latching properly and feels like her nipples are too big. Joey Tribbiani suggests massaging the breast to stimulate milk flow, but Rachel is skeptical. A nurse suggests trying different positions, but Rachel remains upset. Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay joins the conversation and offers support."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Congratulations! I didn't want to say anything in front of Joey 'cause I didn't know if he knew yet. Ross Geller : What, that we had a baby? Come on let's give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier. Phoebe Buffay : No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged! Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We haven't done the secret thing in a long time. Ross Geller : Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didn't propose. Phoebe Buffay : Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor? Ross Geller : I am a doctor! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself. Phoebe Buffay : All right, me too. Should we wake her up? Ross Geller : No! No, come on let her sleep! She's so exhausted.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe are discussing a secret that Rachel and Ross are keeping from everyone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : And so engaged. Ross Geller : What? Oh my God! She-she thinks we're engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think we're engaged?! Phoebe Buffay : Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Y'know Ross doctors are supposed to be smart. Ross Geller : I didn't give her that ring! Phoebe Buffay : Really? Ross Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : So whose ring is it? Ross Geller : It's mine. Phoebe Buffay : Is it an engagement ring? Ross Geller : Yes!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe are discussing something related to an engagement ring, with Ross denying giving it to anyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : But you didn't give it to her? Ross Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : But you were going to propose? Ross Geller : No!! Phoebe Buffay : Huh, I might be losing interest in this. Ross Geller : Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe...kinda...wanted ah...start...things up again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, what beautiful lukewarm sentiment. Ross Geller : Look, I didn't want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didn't want to either. But I don't, I don't understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people? Phoebe Buffay : No! No, she said you actually proposed to her. Ross Geller : Well I didn't! I didn't propose! Unless uh... Did I? I haven't slept in forty hours and...it does sound like something I would do.", "summary": "Ross accidentally proposes to Rachel while trying to clarify a misunderstanding about his mother's engagement ring."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look, we can't stay in here forever. Monica Geller : Oh, I still can't believe my dad saw us having sex! He didn't make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees! Chandler Bing : This is okay. We're all adults here; there's nothing to be ashamed of. Now, let's put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. Monica Geller : Hi Dad! I can still call you that right? Jack Geller : Of course. I'll always be your dad. Chandler Bing : I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasn't for fun. Monica Geller : It wasn't fun?! Chandler Bing : Why? Why-why-would you-Wh-why... Look, I just don't want you to think that we're animals who do it whenever we want. Jack Geller : Oh, I don't think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time. Monica Geller : The truth is, Dad, we're-we're trying.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are caught having sex by Monica's father Jack in their apartment. Despite initial embarrassment, Jack reassures them that he doesn't think they're \"animals\" who do it whenever they want, but rather two adults trying to make their relationship work."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : What? Monica Geller : Yeah, we're trying to get pregnant. Jack Geller : Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! I'll guard the door! Monica Geller : Well, that's okay dad, we-we can wait until later. Jack Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa! I don't think so! Aren't you ovulating? Monica Geller : Daddy?! Jack Geller : Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. That's how I got my bad hip. Chandler Bing : That's funny, this conversation's how I got the bullet hole in my head. Jack Geller : This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was. Monica Geller : Daddy! I don't think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to get pregnant, but Jack is excitedly eager for them to conceive immediately. He offers to guard the door while Monica ovulates, recalling how he and Jackie (his wife) conceived him when she was ovulating. Monica is uncomfortable with this detail and changes the subject."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : You're right, you're right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good. Monica Geller : I don't feel good right now. Jack Geller : But pleasure is important, and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor? Chandler Bing : Seriously sir, my brains? All over the wall. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. I need to tell you something. Monica Geller : Well, now's a good time. I'm on my way to have my ears cut off. Rachel Green : Joey asked me marry him. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Joey proposed to me.", "summary": "Jack and Monica discuss positions for conceiving a child, while Chandler and Rachel are in the background making jokes and Monica reveals that Joey proposed to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Is he crazy?! You just had Ross's baby! Rachel Green : Well, I-I said yes. Monica Geller : What?! Are you crazy? You just had Ross's baby! It's-it's so inappropriate. No, it's worse than that. It's wrong. It's... It is bigger than mine! Rachel Green : I know. Days of Our Lives, thank you very much. Monica Geller : You can't marry him! Rachel Green : Why not? I don't want to do this alone! And he's such a sweet guy and he loves me so much. Monica Geller : Well do you love him? Rachel Green : Sure. Monica Geller : Sure? Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean whatever.", "summary": "Ross's baby is born, but Monica and Rachel have conflicting views on Rachel's relationship with Ross. Monica disapproves of their marriage due to its inappropriateness, while Rachel wants to do it for the sake of her own happiness."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Honey, the question is...do you really want to marry Joey? Rachel Green : No. No, I don't. Could you be a dear and go tell him? Chandler Bing : You still haven't told Rachel you weren't really proposing? Joey Tribbiani : No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out. Chandler Bing : Joey, you have to tell her what's going on! And what did it look like?! Joey Tribbiani : I didn't look at it. Stupid baby's head was blocking most of it. Chandler Bing : Go and tell Rachel right now before Ross finds out. Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I don't want to hurt her. Chandler Bing : Okay, look, just do it gently. Joey Tribbiani : You're right. You're right. I-I'll go tell her now before Ross finds out and I'll be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there if you want to check that out.", "summary": "Rachel Green is unsure about marrying Joey Tribbiani, and Monica Geller encourages her to tell him. Chandler Bing reveals that Joey wasn't actually proposing and that he has a ring on his finger. Joey is hesitant to break the news to Rachel, but ultimately decides to be gentle with her. Meanwhile, two people are engaging in sexual activity off-stage."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Listen, I um... I heard about the engagement. Rachel Green : Surprised? Ross Geller : And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um...I didn't propose to you. Rachel Green : I know. Ross Geller : I don't think you do. Rachel Green : You didn't propose to me. Joey did. Ross Geller : Poor baby, you're so tired. Rach, I didn't propose to you, Joey didn't propose to you, and Chandler didn't propose to you. Rachel Green : Uh... You didn't propose to me, Chandler didn't propose to me, but Joey did.", "summary": "Ross hears about Rachel's engagement and is confused, as he did not propose to her. Rachel confirms that Joey did, and Ross reveals that Chandler did not propose to her either."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Joey proposed to you? Joey Tribbiani : I can come back. Ross Geller : Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rachel Green : Yes you did! Joey Tribbiani : Actually, technically, I didn't. Rachel Green : Well then why did you give me a ring? Ross Geller : Wait! Whoa-whoa, you...you gave her the ring? Joey Tribbiani : No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me! Rachel Green : Yes, you did!", "summary": "Joey proposed to Rachel, but he didn't actually do it. Ross is confused and asks Joey why he gave Rachel a ring. Joey explains that he didn't propose and didn't ask her to marry him."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, I didn't! Rachel Green : Yes, you did! Joey Tribbiani : No, I didn't! Rachel Green : Yes, you did! And don't you say, \"No, I didn't!\" Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh! Rachel Green : He was right there. He got down on one knee and proposed. Ross Geller : Whoa! You were down on one knee? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didn't...I didn't propose! Ross Geller : Then what did happen? Rachel Green : Yeah, what did happen?", "summary": "Ross proposes to Rachel while on one knee, but Joey denies it happening."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing. Rachel Green : Yeah, but you said, \"Will you marry me?\" Joey Tribbiani : No, I didn't! Rachel Green : Yes, you did! Joey Tribbiani : No, I didn't! Rachel Green : Yes, you did-Oh my God you didn't! Well then why didn't you tell me that before?! Joey Tribbiani : Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out! Ross Geller : Whoa! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa, you saw her breast?! Joey Tribbiani : I'll tell you about it later. Be cool. Rachel Green : Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!", "summary": "Joey picked up a ring that fell on the floor and was mistaken for proposing to Rachel. He denied it, but she insisted he said \"Will you marry me?\" Joey maintained he didn't say it, leading to confusion and awkwardness."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It wasn't my ring! It's Ross's ring! That's why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : You were gonna propose to me? Ross Geller : Uhh... No. Joey Tribbiani : Well, this is awkward. Ross Geller : But I-I was going to see if y'know, maybe you uh, start dating again but that-I mean that-that was all, Rach. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, step up! I proposed. Ross Geller : No, you didn't! Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's right. There's a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier. Nurse : Hey, she just woke up! She's hungry. Why don't we give this another try?", "summary": "Ross was going to propose to Rachel but accidentally grabbed Joey's ring instead. Joey thought he proposed to Rachel and got embarrassed when Ross revealed the truth."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : I can't believe you told her I was going to propose! Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you're not going to propose! Ross Geller : Hey, I'm not going to rush into anything! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : She's doing it Look, she's breast-feeding look! Joey Tribbiani : Ah, it's beautiful. Nurse : I'll come back for her later.", "summary": "Ross is hesitant to propose to Rachel and confides in Joey, who convinces him to take things slow. Meanwhile, Rachel accidentally breastfeeds a baby at a restaurant."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Oh wow, this feels weird. Ross Geller : Good weird? Rachel Green : Wonderful weird. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what you guys? I'm uh, I'm gonna go too. And uh, I'm sorry about everything. Rachel Green : Honey don't worry, it was my mistake. Joey Tribbiani : No, Rach, I should've told you sooner. It's just that...Man! That kid is going to town! Rachel Green : She's perfect. Ross Geller : We're so lucky.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about their feelings towards each other. Joey interrupts and apologizes for not telling Rachel sooner that he is in love with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : We really are. Ross Geller : Look, I-I know it's not a proposal and I don't know where you are, but with everything that's been going on and with Emma and...I've been feeling. Rachel Green : I know. I know. I've feeling. Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay, well, that... Wow, okay, well, umm...then maybe, at least we can, we can talk about us again. Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe. Ross Geller : Well good, okay. I-I, kind of think y'know if we...if You're wearing the ring. Rachel Green : Wh-what's that? Ross Geller : And you told Phoebe you were engaged.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are feeling each other out regarding their relationship after everything they've been through with Emma and without a clear proposal in sight."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm sorry, what? Ross Geller : When you thought Joey proposed did...did you say yes? Jack Geller : Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. Monica Geller : Hey dad! Chandler Bing : Hey. Jack Geller : Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? Thank you. Ross Geller : You said you'd marry Joey? Rachel Green : Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! I'm not helping. Ross Geller : So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby? Rachel Green : That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.", "summary": "Rachel says she would have agreed to marry Joey while emotional and exhausted; Ross reminds her of their own quickie marriage; Jack seeks advice on how to get pregnant."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend. Rachel Green : Well-Really? I thought Chandler was your best friend. Ross Geller : Well, Chandler's my oldest friend, but Joey's my-No! Ah! Rachel Green : Ooooo! Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys I'm gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye. Ross Geller : Rachel said she'd marry you?! Joey Tribbiani : This isn't the right room, sorry folks. Monica Geller : Ok, I don't wanna be negative so I'll say that most of the signs you bought are good. Phoebe Buffay : No they ran out of \"It's a girl\" but I can fix this one, See? Monica Geller : So sexy. Honey.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel were engaged to be married, but Ross thought Chandler was his best friend when it was actually Joey. Joey left, and Monica complimented Phoebe on her sign reading skills before they all said goodbye."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yea yea. Monica Geller : Honey why don't you go lie down. Chandler Bing : No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office Am I producing them? Joey Tribbiani : Why're you so tired? Chandler Bing : Couldn't sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldn't sleep. Y'know? I was like, if I fall asleep now I'll get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now I'll get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldn't fall asleep. Joey Tribbiani : You know what you should've done, you should have told yourself that little story. Rachel Green : Hi! #ALL# : Hi, welcome home! Monica Geller : Phoebe did the signs! Rachel Green : Oh you guys thanks for doing this.", "summary": "Chandler cannot sleep due to stress about an upcoming divisional meeting at work. He becomes fixated on getting six hours of sleep versus five hours sleep, unable to calm himself down. Joey suggests telling himself a story to fall asleep, but Chandler remains anxious. Rachel returns home and the group welcomes her back."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Look at all the stuff people sent! Rachel Green : Oh Ah! Oh my gosh there's something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think... Oh you guys I love it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey so where's Ross? Rachel Green : He's downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab. Joey Tribbiani : Is he still mad at us? Rachel Green : Well, you more then me, but he can't stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby. Joey Tribbiani : That's not fair! I can't do that. Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm not so sure you should be here when he comes up. Joey Tribbiani : See this is what I was afraid of, I didn't think I should be here either but somebody said he'd be over it by now. Chandler Bing : Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla.", "summary": "Ross is still upset after being left out of the baby shower and has taken all of the remaining items from the cab downstairs. Phoebe and Rachel try to make light of the situation by joking about Joey's lack of ability to get over it, but Chandler enters with a larger stuffed gorilla he had wanted to get for the shower."}
-{"dialogues": "Ms. Mckenna : The numbers we are seeing New York, Chicago, and London are consistently solid, but many of our officers have reported disappointing fields. Ms. Mckenna : Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you I'll go straight to my forty two point plan. Chandler Bing : Walter . Phoebe Buffay : She's just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy. Monica Geller : Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket. Ross Geller : Okay I put most of the stuff away. Rachel Green : Oh great, the pacifiers? Ross Geller : In the closet. Rachel Green : The burping clogs? Ross Geller : Linen closet.", "summary": "Boston, Atlanta, and Houston are all experiencing disappointing results, but Ms. McKenna has a 42-point plan to turn things around. Chandler makes a comment about Walter, Phoebe thinks she wants to bite off Monica's ear, Monica suggests using one of Phoebe's little feet in a pita pocket, and Ross hides the pacifiers and burping clogs in various rooms of the house."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : The diapers? Ross Geller : In the hospital. Phoebe Buffay : Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy! Ross Geller : No I left the diapers at the hospital! There's some in the bag but I'll run out and get some more. Rachel Green : Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin? Ross Geller : Sure what kind? Rachel Green : Umm let me think...What do I want, what d-o I w-a-n-t... Ross Geller : Please take your time, it's an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin. Rachel Green : Blueberry. Ross Geller : Blueberry it is.", "summary": "Ross left diapers at the hospital, and when Rachel asks him to get her a muffin at the coffee house, he takes his time deciding what kind to buy for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Thanks. Monica Geller : Wow, he's really not letting this go, is he? Rachel Green : God how long do you think that's gonna last? Phoebe Buffay : I dunno, well he got over the \"We were on a break\" thing really quickly. Rachel Green : Y'know I can't even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I can't believe how much I love her, I can't get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her. Phoebe Buffay : You know that's... that's her. Rachel Green : Oh god look at her sleeping. Oh, I love her so much! Oh, I think I'm gonna wake her up. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, Rach, no no, you know you're never supposed to wake a sleeping baby. Rachel Green : Well I can do whatever I want! I made her! Come on little girl, hi! Phoebe Buffay : I can say I told you so but she's kinda doing that for me.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss an ex who won't let go of their past relationship. Phoebe shares a similar experience with her own ex. Rachel talks about how much she loves her new baby and misses her while Phoebe advises against waking her up."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh I'm sorry mummy's so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep. Monica Geller : Breaks your heart doesn't it. Phoebe Buffay : It really does... how long do you think we have to stay? Ms. Mckenna : Ok if everyone's on board, it's settled, Chandler, Chandler? Chandler Bing : Yep. Ms. Mckenna : Are you on board? Chandler Bing : Yes. Ms. Mckenna : Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. You're gonna love Oklahoma. Phoebe Buffay : Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe! Monica Geller : Alright here's something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are trying to calm a crying baby, while Phoebe suggests various methods to soothe her. Meanwhile, Ms. Mckenna announces that Chandler will be running their office in Tulsa, and everyone agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok. Monica Geller : It worked! Rachel Green : Oh oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it won't stop crying. Monica Geller : Umm, she Rach, not it, she. Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm not so sure. Monica Geller : Oh my god, I am losing my mind. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross! Ross Geller : Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? Gunther : Diapers huh? Ross Geller : Yep.", "summary": "Rachel throws up after getting sick, Monica tries to comfort her, and Phoebe blames Ross for the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : So I guess Rachel had you baby? Ross Geller : Yep, can you believe it? Gunther : Nope! I still can't believe she slept with you in the first place. Ross Geller : Huh? Ooh you mean like a... Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross, I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this. Ross Geller : Ah actually we don't. Joey Tribbiani : Fine, fine okay. But I gotta say technically, I didn't even do anything wrong. Ross Geller : What! You didn't do anything wrong?! Joey Tribbiani : I said I didn't technically. Ross Geller : Okay let's put aside that you \"accidentally\" picked up my grandmothers ring and you \"accidentally\" proposed to Rachel.", "summary": "Rachel had a baby with Gunther, who can't believe it. Ross is upset about this and also mentions that he and Joey didn't do anything wrong when they accidentally got engaged."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this I don't really know what that means. You were saying? Ross Geller : And I can even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel, but why couldn't you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didn't. Joey Tribbiani : I know I should've. \"I'm sorry.\" Ross Geller : Not using it right, Joe. Ross Geller : I'm gonna go. Joey Tribbiani : No, come on Ross! Look, Ross, we have to get past this. Ross Geller : Give me the bag. Joey Tribbiani : No, look, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry! Ross Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a disagreement about something Joey did, leading to Ross expressing his feelings and leaving the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'm not gonna hit you. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? You'll feel better! I'll feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes. Ross Geller : No I don't. Joey Tribbiani : A little bit. Ross Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : Little bit. Ross Geller : No! Joey Tribbiani : A little bit more. Ross Geller : Give me the bag. Joey Tribbiani : No, hit me.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have a confrontation about whether or not Ross should hit Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Give me the bag. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me. Ross Geller : Joey, give me the bag. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me! Ross Geller : Joe I'm not kidding. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me, hit me. Ross Geller : No! Joey Tribbiani : Hit me! Hit me! Ross Geller : You ducked!! Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry! It was a reflex!", "summary": "Ross and Joey engage in a comical exchange where Ross demands the bag and Joey hits him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my god, this really hurts!!! Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! Ross Geller : What is the matter with you?!? Joey Tribbiani : You were supposed to duck!!! Why didn't you duck? Ross Geller : Why don't we talk about this on the way to the hospital? Joey Tribbiani : Good, good yeah, maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes. \"Oops.\" Monica Geller : Try feeding her again. Rachel Green : I already fed her. Monica Geller : I know, that's why I said again! Phoebe Buffay : Alright you guys, we can't turn on each other, Okay? That's just what she wants.", "summary": "Ross gets punched in the face and goes to the hospital with Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute? Rachel Green : Oh no, you guys, just stay here, I'm gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs you wanna come? Phoebe Buffay : Oh I'm kinda part of this. Chandler Bing : Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing. Phoebe Buffay : I knew I should have married Chandler. Monica Geller : Okay what's up. Chandler Bing : Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux? Monica Geller : Oh yeah .", "summary": "Chandler and Monica discuss moving to Paris for a year."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma? Monica Geller : What? Who says that? Chandler Bing : People who've never ever been to Paris. Monica Geller : What's going on? Chandler Bing : We're moving to Tulsa! Monica Geller : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes. Monica Geller : Tulsa, Oklahoma! Chandler Bing : The Sooner State, whatever that is. Monica Geller : Chandler, I don't even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!", "summary": "Tulsa, Oklahoma becomes the new Paris for Chandler and Monica as they relocate to the Sooner State for Chandler's job."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top. Monica Geller : Are you trying to tell me that we're moving to Oklahoma, or that you're gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise? Chandler Bing : No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. I'll get out of it. Monica Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : What is wrong with Emma? Monica Geller : Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa. Chandler Bing : Umm ma'am, do you have a minute? I kind of have some bad news. I don't think I can move to Tulsa. Ms. Mckenna : What? Chandler Bing : It's a funny story, actually. I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying. Ms. Mckenna : You fell asleep?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are moving to Oklahoma, but Chandler falls asleep during the meeting and says he'll move to Tulsa instead. Ms. McKenna is confused and asks him what happened."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, ain't that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright . See, here's the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she won't go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is Italy-Please don't make me go there! Ms. Mckenna : Chandler, I. Chandler Bing : No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it, well she's lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. I'll call you from Tulsa. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so how is it? Ross Geller : I broke my thumb. Joey Tribbiani : Your thumb? That's weird. You sure you're punching right? Make a fist. Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible. Ross Geller : You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. Joey Tribbiani : You, you want me to help you with that? Ross Geller : Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen claw? Joey Tribbiani : Name? I know Ross but what's it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.", "summary": "Chandler Bing is anxious about a meeting and jokes about irony when he reveals his wife won't go to Tulsa with him due to his enthusiasm for the city. Carol (Elaine) shows Chandler a photo of her child, which he mistakes for a picture of her son until she corrects him. Joey Tribbiani joins the conversation and expresses skepticism when Ross Geller reveals he broke his thumb, while Ross fills out forms to go to Tulsa despite Joey's offer to help."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Just Ross! Joey Tribbiani : It's pretty, Okay date of birth? Ross Geller : You know my birthday. Joey Tribbiani : Sure, May...tember. Ross Geller : October 18th. Joey Tribbiani : Occupation? Dinosaurs. Ross Geller : Actually I'm a palian... Dinosaurs is fine... the drawing is not. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, who do you want as your emergency contact? Ross Geller : Ah, Rachel I guess. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, relationship, boy this could take a while.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are filling out a form together, with Ross providing his personal information and Joey making jokes about dinosaurs. They discuss their occupations, with Ross saying he's a paleontologist and Joey joking that he works with dinosaurs. They also exchange their emergency contact information and joke about how long it might take to fill out the form."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Just ah... just put roommate. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, you're gonna get together right? Ross Geller : I don't think that we are. Joey Tribbiani : But you two were supposed to be together. Ross Geller : Well, I thought so too, but then she said she'd marry you. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, Ross, that didn't mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody. Ross Geller : Yeah that's what she said. Joey Tribbiani : So? Ross Geller : So I don't wanna be just anybody. Joey Tribbiani : Wow.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are discussing their relationships with women. Ross had a past romantic interest who said she would marry Joey, but then changed her mind. Joey thinks this means anything and tries to convince Ross to give her another chance, but Ross is hesitant."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You know what, it's, it's better this way anyway. I mean I don't know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. It's just much easier if we're just friends who have a kid. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : And you're Okay with that? Ross Geller : Yes. I mean, it's what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. That's why they call them plans. Hello? I'm fine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, for what it's worth, with Rachel I don't think you'll ever be just \"anybody.\" Ross Geller : Hey there you go! Joey Tribbiani : \"Thanks.\" Rachel Green : Oh my God! How long has she been crying? Monica Geller : About a week and a half.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss their relationship with Rachel, with Ross concluding that it's better to be just friends who have a child rather than pursuing a romantic relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so I'm just gonna go. No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! Monica Geller : Rach, try holding her a different way. Rachel Green : You guys, I'm doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, I'll try, fine! Yes, Okay! Rachel Green : Here you go. Phoebe Buffay : Shh! Nothing works with this child! Rachel Green : Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I can't even comfort my own baby! I'm the worst mother ever! Monica Geller : You're just new at this, it'll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldn't have been easy but you figured that out. Rachel Green : Yeah I don't think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her. Monica Geller : Okay I'll take her, here.", "summary": "Rachel struggles to comfort her crying baby and feels like a terrible mother. Phoebe tries to help but nothing seems to work. Monica offers words of encouragement and reminds Rachel that she will get better with time."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I have to go to the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : I have to go scream into a pillow. Monica Geller : Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. Phoebe Buffay : Have I gone deaf? Monica Geller : It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby! Phoebe Buffay : You must be a fireball in bed. Monica Geller : I can't believe it! She's asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers! Phoebe Buffay : I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! I'm kidding. Rachel Green : Oh my God! You got her to stop crying! Monica Geller : Yes I did, I'm Monica, Super Aunt.", "summary": "Rachel needs to go to the bathroom, while Phoebe wants to scream into a pillow. Monica helps Rachel and then reveals she has magical powers that can put someone to sleep."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You are the official baby crier stopper! Monica Geller : Yes I am!! Rachel Green : You're never leaving the apartment! Monica Geller : Say what? Rachel Green : That's your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here. Monica Geller : Oh no no no no! Phoebe Buffay : Thankfully you don't need me at all so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel let's give it six to eight months . Rachel Green : Okay so listen I'm gonna go lay down. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : You know the book says that whenever she's sleeping I should be sleeping so...", "summary": "Rachel becomes the \"official baby crier stopper\" and Monica is tasked with being her constant companion to stop the baby from crying. Monica refuses the job and Phoebe offers to help but is not needed. Rachel predicts that she will need to take a break every six to eight months to sleep while the baby sleeps."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep. Chandler Bing : Oh so there can't be any yelling. Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : We're moving to Tulsa. Monica Geller : What!? Chandler Bing : Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! I can't, I can't hear you. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Heeeeey, where have you been? What happened to you? Ross Geller : Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica move to Tulsa without telling anyone."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay? Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : You know what I really really want? Ross Geller : What, Rach? Rachel Green : I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again. Ross Geller : Right. Rachel Green : I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy. Ross Geller : Well, that's what I'm here for. Want me to get that? Rachel Green : No its really okay... Monica! Monica Geller : Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about her feelings towards Joey. Rachel reveals that she never wanted to marry Joey and that the situation is not easy for her. Ross offers to help and Monica enters the room, excitedly agreeing to assist with whatever needs to be done."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You know, ah, I've been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, it's not my fault. It's a natural instinct. Chandler Bing : Hey, what you guys talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for? Chandler Bing : Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Monday?!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are shocked to hear that Chandler is being relocated to Tulsa for work. Joey and Monica discuss hypothetical scenarios involving Joey doing certain actions."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : How long do you have to go for? Chandler Bing : They said it could be up to a year. Joey Tribbiani : A year?! Rachel Green : Do you have to go? Monica Geller : I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing. Chandler Bing : There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it. Joey Tribbiani : We were gonna go see the Jets! Ross Geller : You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!", "summary": "Joey has to go to Tulsa for an unspecified amount of time. Chandler has to go as well but forgets about their plans to see the Jets game next week."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really? Ross Geller : Not you. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you guys are moving. Phoebe Buffay : I call their apartment!!! #ALL# : No!!! Ah!! Ahh!!! Joey Tribbiani : Here you are. Rachel Green : Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine. Ross Geller : I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk. Rachel Green : Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener. Joey Tribbiani : ", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are moving, while Chandler and Joey can't believe it, and Phoebe wants their old apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Every time? Joey Tribbiani : Uhuh. Ross Geller : Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this. Rachel Green : All right, I trust you. Ross Geller : Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why... Rachel Green : I'm on the phone! Dr. Wiener? Joey Tribbiani :  Phoebe Buffay : It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up. Joey Tribbiani : I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. Phoebe Buffay : Look at you all grown up.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a disagreement about her calling him whenever she has a question, while Joey and Phoebe discuss how strange it is to see them with a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot. Phoebe Buffay : You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date! Joey Tribbiani : I can do that, yeah. How is Friday? Phoebe Buffay : Done. Oh good, really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Let's see! Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack. Joey Tribbiani : Poophack... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... All right, well that rules out Lana Titweiller. Joey Tribbiani :  Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Joey wants a more serious relationship after his experience with Rachel and asks Phoebe to set him up with someone. Phoebe suggests Sandy Poophack but rules out Lana Titweiller."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : I've got good news! Monica Geller : You got out of the whole Tulsa thing? Chandler Bing : Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job. Monica Geller : It's great! How? Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you. Monica Geller : So you're gonna be gone four days a week? No. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that? Monica Geller : No. I can't be away from you for that long. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have good news to share with each other. Monica has been given an opportunity to keep her job in New York City instead of moving to Tulsa, Oklahoma. However, this means she will be away from Chandler four days a week. Monica is not happy about this and makes it clear that she wants to be with Chandler as much as possible."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa. Monica Geller : Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you. Chandler Bing : Hey, you said that without gagging! Monica Geller : I know! Rachel Green : Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! Ross Geller : Who the hell was that?! Rachel Green : Dr. Wiener. Ross Geller : Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning. Rachel Green : Oh you know what, you sound just like his wife! Ross Geller : Was there anything you did wrong with Emma?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are discussing their plans to travel to Tulsa for work, with Monica expressing her desire to accompany him. Rachel interrupts and joins in on the conversation, followed by Ross who becomes annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night. The group exchanges insults and jabs, with Ross eventually bringing up a past mistake he made with his daughter Emma."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane! Ross Geller : Well, what was it? Rachel Green : Hiccups. Ross Geller : Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up. Rachel Green : Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name? Ross Geller : Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead. Rachel Green : Argh! Why does everything happen to me?! Ross Geller : Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well. Rachel Green : What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot. Ross Geller : You know? Come to think of it, it does feel Rubella-like!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are trying to find a new pediatrician after their previous one fired them. Rachel recalls a previous doctor they liked named Dr. Gettleman, but Ross informs her that he's dead. Rachel becomes frustrated and worried about finding a new doctor, while Ross is not feeling well and can't help her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wiener, Wiener Wiener, Wiener!!! Ross Geller : Rachel!!! Rachel Green : Great! Now he's gonna know it was me! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : So how is this for our big double date tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget? Phoebe Buffay : Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.", "summary": "Ross discovers that Rachel was the one who said \"Wiener, Wiener, Wiener!\" and fears he will find out it was her. Phoebe plans a double date with Joey and Mary Ellen, but Joey is hesitant."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, give me something. What's his name? Joey Tribbiani : Mike. Phoebe Buffay : Mike? Okay! What's his last name? Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore!? Phoebe Buffay : All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours. Joey Tribbiani :  Joey Tribbiani : Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... There's no guy in there! Rachel Green : It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee? Monica Geller : Excuse me?", "summary": "Mike (unspecified) has a last name that is difficult to recall for Joey and Phoebe. They agree to meet him at a restaurant in a couple of hours. Meanwhile, Rachel struggles to find a reliable doctor due to concerns about sexual misconduct."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I know what she's talking about. Rachel Green : We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it. Monica Geller : Why don't you go see Dr. Gettleman? Rachel Green : Ross said he died. Monica Geller : He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox. Rachel Green : Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died. Monica Geller : Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist. Chandler Bing : He saw a therapist? Monica Geller : Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out. Rachel Green : Why? What was it?", "summary": "Emma gets sick after being around Ross, who may have caught a illness from his pediatrician, Dr. Gettleman, who died. Monica suggests seeing another doctor, but Rachel is unsure because Ross previously said Dr. Gettleman passed away. The conversation then turns to a therapist that Ross had as a child, who he still has nightmares about."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That I was going to eat him. Joey Tribbiani : MIKE!!! Mike Hannigan : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Mike Hannigan : I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks. Joey Tribbiani : Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike. Mike Hannigan : I am Mike. Joey Tribbiani : Atta boy! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, look... #ALL# : ", "summary": "Monica plans to eat Joey, Mike breaks up with his girlfriend, and Joey convinces Mike to pretend to be him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway? Mike Hannigan : How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that. Joey Tribbiani : From school. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, we met in college. I mean, high school. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days? Mike Hannigan : Well, I'm a lawyer. Joey Tribbiani : Mike, 'attorney at law'! Mike Hannigan : Actually, I just gave up my practice. Joey Tribbiani : What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me. Mike Hannigan : I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.", "summary": "Mike and Joey went to high school together and reconnected as adults in college. Now, Mike is a lawyer who has given up his practice to pursue his dream of playing the piano professionally."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so... Joey Tribbiani : Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike. Mary Ellen : I thought you thought he was still a lawyer. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa. Monica Geller : That's so sweet. Find anything? Chandler Bing : Slim Pickings.", "summary": "Mike is introduced to Phoebe, who preferred Joey's acting career to his law job. Joey clarifies that he never said Mike was a lawyer. The group orders drinks and Monica searches for restaurant jobs in Tulsa for Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Nothing, huh? Chandler Bing : No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite. Monica Geller : 'Slim Pickings'...That is so cheesy. Chandler Bing : 'So Cheesy' also has an opening. Monica Geller : Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something. Chandler Bing : Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa. Monica Geller : Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo 'I'll take it!' Rachel Green : Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma. Receptionist : Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly. Dr. Gettleman : I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler search for jobs in Tulsa; Monica knows a restaurant headhunter who may help."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Thanks doctor. Dr. Gettleman : Would you like a lollypop? Ross Geller : You even have to ask?! He is alive! Phoebe Buffay : You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car. Mike Hannigan : No, I didn't. Joey Tribbiani : That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great! Mary Ellen Wait, is your mom okay? Joey Tribbiani : Please, we're trying to have a conversation. Mary Ellen : Wow, you're a lot nicer on 'Days of Our Lives'. Mike Hannigan : 'Days of Our Lives'! That's why you look so familiar!", "summary": "Ross is excited to see his doctor, Dr. Gettleman, who offers him a lollypop. Phoebe questions Ross and Joey's long-standing friendship, which Joey reveals has had its ups and downs, including a falling out after Mike hit Joey's mom with a car. The group tries to move on from the topic, but Mary Ellen expresses concern for Joey's mother's well-being."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What?! Mike Hannigan : What?! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Do you not know each other? Joey Tribbiani : Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?! Phoebe Buffay : Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have? Mike Hannigan : Six! Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? I said seven! Argh!!! Phoebe Buffay : Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger? Joey Tribbiani : Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.", "summary": "Mike Hannigan plays a game with Joey Tribbiani where they pretend not to know each other, but Phoebe Buffay discovers their ruse. They discuss their shared high school experiences and play games together. Mike mentions that Joey has six sisters, but Joey corrects him and says he actually has seven. Finally, Joey sets up a date with a stranger for Phoebe, but forgets about it and apologizes to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car. Phoebe Buffay : You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose. Mary Ellen : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Who are you kidding? You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating! Joey Tribbiani : Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. Mike!! Mike!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm out of here. Mike Hannigan : It was nice meeting you! Joey Tribbiani : You're leaving too? Mary Ellen : I'll stay if you can tell me my name. Joey Tribbiani : Good night!", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe are looking for a potential boyfriend for her, but Mike denies hitting Phoebe's mother with a car. Mary Ellen joins the conversation, and Phoebe becomes humiliated. Joey tries to make amends, but Phoebe leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do. Monica Geller : You're right. Maybe I shouldn't go. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo . It's just a little outside of Tulsa. Chandler Bing : How far outside? Monica Geller : Manhattan. Chandler Bing : And you're thinking of taking it? So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, me, new job. Monica Geller : I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Chandler Bing : What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'? Monica Geller : Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.", "summary": "Monica is offered a job at a great restaurant in Manhattan, but she may not be able to take it because she will miss Chandler. Chandler is upset that Monica might leave him for four days a week and thinks they have bigger problems if they can't make it work."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I think you should take the job. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey. Monica Geller : That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : How was the pediatrician? Rachel Green : Oh, I really liked him. Yeah, it was really, really, really good. Ross Geller : You promised you wouldn't say anything. Rachel Green : I know. Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! I don't care! Monica Geller : Are you serious? You still see Dr. Gettleman?", "summary": "Monica encourages Chandler to take a job despite his reservations, and Chandler compliments her on her excitement. Ross enters and Monica mentions that Rachel saw a new pediatrician and liked him. Ross brings up how Rachel promised not to say anything about it, and Monica teases Ross for still seeing his old pediatrician."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : He's a brilliant diagnostician! Chandler Bing : Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer? Rachel Green : Ross, seriously! You've gotta go to an appropriate doctor. Ross Geller : Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!' Chandler Bing : Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy? Ross Geller : Hey, I seem to remember someone bringing his security blanket to college! Chandler Bing : That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging! Ross Geller : It didn't spend much time on the wall!!! Mike Hannigan : Excuse me, hi. I was hoping I would run into you. Can we talk? Phoebe Buffay : Sure.", "summary": "Ross sees a doctor who makes a big deal about him being his favorite patient and has a funny bedside manner. Chandler teases Ross about it, while Rachel tries to steer Ross towards a more appropriate doctor. Mike joins in the conversation, and Phoebe enters the scene looking for Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer...Apparently I'm not a funny guy. Phoebe Buffay : Why did you go along with that? Mike Hannigan : Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did. Phoebe Buffay : That's true. Well, is anything you told me about yourself true? Mike Hannigan : My name in Mike, and I do play piano. Phoebe Buffay : Prove it. Mike Hannigan : There isn't a piano here. Phoebe Buffay : That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist. Mike Hannigan :  Phoebe Buffay : You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.", "summary": "Mike Hannigan is embarrassed and tries to defend himself after being told he's not funny. He reveals that he was lied to in order to get a free dinner and meet a girl. However, when Phoebe Buffay questions his claims about himself, he is unable to prove them. Despite this, Phoebe compliments him on his piano skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh. Mike Hannigan : That's great. What kind of music do you play? Phoebe Buffay : Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers. Mike Hannigan : Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could... Phoebe Buffay : It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out. Mike Hannigan : Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out? Joey Tribbiani :  Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice. Joey Tribbiani : Look at this. My two best friends!", "summary": "Mike wants to ask Phoebe out on a date, but she declines and instead invites him to a concert where she will be performing Iron Maiden covers."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me. Receptionist : The doctor will be right with you sir. Girl : Mommy, I can't find Waldo. Ross Geller : With the circus? He's behind the elephant. Woman : Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too? Ross Geller : Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way. Sally : Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent? Ross Geller : I am a single parent. Sally : It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone? Ross Geller : Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office.", "summary": "Ross meets a woman named Sally and their children are seen at the pediatrician's office. Ross is a single parent and Sally mentions that it can be hard to have a social life as a single parent."}
-{"dialogues": "Nurse : Rossy, we're ready for you. Ross Geller : Hmm, yeah. Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in. Boy : Mommy. Girl : Mommy, what's wrong with that man? Ross Geller : Hey, I helped you find Waldo! Ross Geller : Oh good, you haven't left yet. Monica Geller : Where have you been? Ross Geller : I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out. Chandler Bing : Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. Ross Geller : Oh man.", "summary": "Ross and his son Ross Jr. are at the hospital for an appointment, while Monica and Chandler are there as well. Ross helps his son find Waldo in a children's book, but then gets delayed at Dr. Gettleman's office due to a disturbed patient."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Promise to call me when you land. Chandler Bing : Of course I will call you. I love you. Monica Geller : I love you too. Rachel Green : Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here. Phoebe Buffay : Bye Chandler. Chandler Bing : Awww. Bye! Rachel Green : Bye honey. Chandler Bing : What's the matter Joe? Joey Tribbiani : I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase. Chandler Bing : Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?", "summary": "Chandler promises to call Monica when he lands, and they exchange \"I love you\"s. Rachel reacts in surprise at their declaration of love. Phoebe bids Chandler farewell, while Joey expresses his displeasure at Chandler's departure and calls him a \"big leaver.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you see right thru me!! Chandler Bing : Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye-bye! Good trip! Monica Geller : Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, new job, you. This is just something I have to do. Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : I love you so much. Chandler Bing : I know that too. Chandler Bing : Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise. Joey Tribbiani : Double promise? Call me when you land. Monica Geller : Can I talk now?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are saying goodbye to their friends as he prepares to move to a new job. Monica expresses her love for him and Chandler promises to return soon. Joey makes a double promise to call when he lands and Monica asks if she can talk now."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Okay, bye. Monica Geller : Joey? Joey Tribbiani : He had to board. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up? Ross Geller : sure. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me? Ross Geller : people so why you all dressed up. Phoebe Buffay : oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date. Ross Geller : oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious? Phoebe Buffay : oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.", "summary": "Joey leaves abruptly, Monica asks if he's okay, Phoebe enters and asks Ross to zip her up, Ross does so, and Phoebe expresses surprise that no one else offered to help her. Phoebe reveals she's on a date with Mike, but is unsure if she's ready to take their relationship serious."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : you know I really admire your whole dating attitude, it's so healthy I'm always like is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going? Phoebe Buffay : yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen. Ross Geller : but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious. Phoebe Buffay : I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy well what about ok well there's gotta be someone. Ross Geller : There isn't that's what I'm saying. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god you're right. Ross Geller : I know and yet here you are all ready for the next date. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god what's wrong with me. Ross Geller : no, no, no there's nothing wrong with you I mean you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway. Phoebe Buffay : I wanna get married.", "summary": "Ross admires Phoebe's carefree dating attitude but worries about their relationship moving too fast. Phoebe insists she's not opposed to long-term relationships and has a date lined up. However, upon reflection, Phoebe realizes she's never been in a serious relationship before and is uncertain about her intentions."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : please don't cry because of me pheebs I don't know what I'm talking about, I've been divorced three times. Phoebe Buffay : least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe what's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa. Ross Geller : I'm sorry I didn't catch. Mike Hannigan : its Mike Hanagen. Ross Geller : Oh Ross Geller. Mike Hannigan : Hey, so are you sure your ready to go. Phoebe Buffay : uh huh how do I look. Ross Geller : do you have a compact in your purse?", "summary": "Ross gets emotional while talking about his divorces, and Phoebe expresses her excitement for her date with Mike. Mike checks in on Phoebe's well-being, and Ross apologizes for not catching his name."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No. Ross Geller : you look great. Monica Geller : : hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think? Monica Geller : : Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma. Joey Tribbiani : Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler? Monica Geller : : yeah he has to stay in Tulsa this weekend. Joey Tribbiani : how come? Monica Geller : : he has to work, there's some rush on the big ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job. Joey Tribbiani : oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang discusses a woman they can't see while Chandler has to work in Tulsa, Monica mentions that she doesn't listen to Chandler when he talks about his job, and Joey suggests flying out to surprise him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : : maybe I will go yea will have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa romana. Joey Tribbiani : oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. Monica Geller : : how do you know I have one of those? Joey Tribbiani : didn't till just now. Joey Tribbiani : hot not hot Hot! Hayley : excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : I said I think you're hot and now I'm embarrassed. Hayley : oh I thought you said Hi. Joey Tribbiani : that would've been better, I'll try that Hi I'm Joey. Hayley : I'm Hayley.", "summary": "Monica and Joey plan a second honeymoon at the Tulsa Roma. Joey suggests Monica bring her black see-through teddy with attached garters. Monica is surprised that Joey knows about the teddy, and Joey embarrassingly admits he thought she was hot. Hayley interrupts and mistakes Joey's \"Hi\" for a compliment."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses. Gunther : HA! Joey Tribbiani : gesundheit. Hayley : I would love to go out with you. Joey Tribbiani : really, great, did I actually ask you? Hayley : no that's just where you were going I just figured that I'd help you out, you don't seem like the kind of guy that does this very a lot. Gunther : HA! Joey Tribbiani : seriously Gunther you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! Ross Geller : so how'd the date go? Phoebe Buffay : well it was awful every time I thought about what you said I started crying.", "summary": "Joey meets a woman named Hayley in a coffee shop and asks her out, but he doesn't remember doing so. Hayley takes matters into her own hands and suggests they go on a date together. Joey is surprised and thanks her for helping him out, but he still seems unsure about the whole situation. Meanwhile, Gunther makes fun of Joey's lack of dating experience and Ross expresses concern about Phoebe's well-being after she reveals that she had a bad time on her date with Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So he hasn't called? Phoebe Buffay : would you call this girl? thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing. Ross Geller : now I feel terrible this is all my fault. Phoebe Buffay : well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that? Ross Geller : We are a rare breed. Hayley : what a great dinner. Joey Tribbiani : yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant. Hayley : your welcome again, I'm gonna make some coffee can I get you anything? Joey Tribbiani : do you have any cake? >>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place. Joey Tribbiani : AWCH! That's why.", "summary": "A man named Ross Geller has not received a call from a girl he was interested in, and his friend Phoebe Buffay tries to console him. They discuss how rare it is to meet someone compatible, and Hayley joins the conversation. Joey Tribbiani, who is present but unconscious, suddenly remembers that he has been in the same apartment before with a previous girlfriend, and they had sex on various furniture in the room."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in? Mike Hannigan : Sure who are you? Ross Geller : I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse. Mike Hannigan : Oh. Ross Geller : yeah I really, really need to talk to you about something. Mike Hannigan : Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you? Ross Geller : No. Mike Hannigan : oh it's just you have that look. Ross Geller : Damn super cuts! Mike Hannigan : what's up is Phoebe ok?", "summary": "Ross visits Mike's apartment and asks to come in, claiming he needs to talk to him about something important. Mike is initially skeptical and assumes Ross might be trying to recruit him into a cult. However, Ross reassures him that he's not and Mike allows him to enter. Mike asks if Phoebe is okay, as Ross has a distinct \"cult leader\" look on his face."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset. Mike Hannigan : that's why she was weird. Ross Geller : yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off. Mike Hannigan : I'm not blowing her off, I actually just got off the phone with her, were going out tomorrow night, I mean I hope that's ok with you stranger from the coffee house. Ross Geller : well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered. Mike Hannigan : hey wait wait wait wait wait! Is that true what you said Phoebe's never had a serious relationship? Ross Geller : of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron. Mike Hannigan : but you did say it. Ross Geller : yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-a-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum. Mike Hannigan : Vicrum?", "summary": "Ross accidentally upsets Phoebe before they go out, and when Mike reveals this, Ross admits he said something stupid about Phoebe never having had a serious relationship. However, he quickly clarifies that she has had one, and he will say it again for emphasis: Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her super-serious relationship with Vicrum."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : WHAT THAT'S A REAL NAME! Chandler Bing : Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o clock maybe I'll hit the gym who am I kidding pay-per-view porn. -Cuts to Monica. Chandler Bing : DO NOT DISTURB DO NOT DISTURB! Monica: Monica Geller : : is everything all right? Chandler Bing : everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. Monica Geller : : I'm gonna go freshen up ok. Chandler Bing : Ok honey. that was close. -Cut to Rachel. Rachel Green : Hello. Monica Geller : : Hey Rach its me ok I just got the Chandler's room and I caught him molesting himself. Rachel Green : Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.", "summary": "Chandler Bing is sent to Oklahoma for work and becomes distraught about being away from his friends. He watches pay-per-view porn and almost gets caught by Monica. Later, Rachel finds Chandler masturbating in his room."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : : yea well the weird part is... he was getting off to a shark attack show! Rachel Green : Nooooooooo! Monica Geller : : Yes! Chandler Watches Shark Porn! Rachel Green : well watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing? Monica Geller : : do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that, believe me I know what he was doing. Rachel Green : man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what. Monica Geller : : what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws! Rachel Green : Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice. Monica Geller : : Eww are you talking about my bother. Rachel Green : yeah I didn't disguise that very well did i.", "summary": "Chandler watches shark porn."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date I realized I already slept with her. Rachel Green : so basically you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again. Joey Tribbiani : well that's not even the weird part. I don't think she remembered sleeping with me. Monica Geller : : But you don't remember sleeping with her. Joey Tribbiani : yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know. Rachel Green : what, how do we know, we never slept with you. Joey Tribbiani : and who's fault is that. Monica Geller : : what's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night.", "summary": "Joey slept with a girl in New York without remembering it, and when he tells Rachel and Monica, they are shocked and confused."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST! Monica Geller : : Honey why don't you just let it go and ask her out again. Rachel Green : yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other. Joey Tribbiani : Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it OH SALT BLOATY! Monica Geller : : Joey, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What? Monica Geller : : you don't think sharks are sexy do you? Joey Tribbiani : No. wait a minute what was the little mermaid? Phoebe Buffay : It's open. Ross Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is confident in his abilities despite occasional digestive issues, while Monica Geller encourages him to ask out a past love interest. Rachel Green supports this idea, but Phoebe Buffay interrupts with a new topic of conversation. Ross Geller joins the group later."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : HEY! Mike called were going out again! YAY! YAY! Ross Geller : YAY! quick thing, I went to talk to Mike. Phoebe Buffay : What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS! Ross Geller : oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that. Phoebe Buffay : WHAT! Ross Geller : umm. that you had a six year long relationship with a guy named Vicrum. Phoebe Buffay : WHAT! WHY? Ross Geller : well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship. Phoebe Buffay : If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW! Ross Geller : well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer and he used to date Oprah.", "summary": "Mike called and they are going out again. Ross went to talk to Mike but ended up telling him that Phoebe had a six year relationship with Vicrum, a kite designer who dated Oprah."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him. Ross Geller : Good yeah just be honest with him. Phoebe Buffay : yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh. Ross Geller : I'll get it. Phoebe Buffay : ok. Mike Hannigan : You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh yeah there's just something umm, there's something you should know Vicrum just called. Hayley : so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest. Joey Tribbiani : Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me? Hayley : What?", "summary": "Phoebe is not going to lie to Ross about their relationship and is instead being honest with him. Phoebe has had multiple short-term relationships and is okay with being alone forever. Mike wonders if Phoebe is okay after she receives a call from an unknown number called Vicrum. Hayley reveals that her parents, who were seemingly perfect, are getting divorced after 25 years of marriage, and she took it the hardest due to being the youngest child. Joey does not remember Hayley."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : How could you not remember that we slept together? Hayley : What! When? Joey Tribbiani : I dunno! Hayley : I really, really think I would remember sleeping with you. Joey Tribbiani : come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex here, here, here NOT there. Anything? Hayley : no it's not ringing any bells. Joey Tribbiani : my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this? Hayley's Roommate : Hey Hayley you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. so were good. I'll let myself out. Phoebe Buffay : .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Hayley have a conversation about them sleeping together, but neither of them can remember it happening. Joey tries to jog her memory by recounting details of their encounter, but she denies any knowledge of it. Phoebe Buffay enters the scene and adds to the confusion by mentioning Rachel, who is not present."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross. Phoebe Buffay : yeah well yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee. Mike Hannigan : that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer. Phoebe Buffay : I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer. Mike Hannigan : I just think there's somebody better out there for you, I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Mike Hannigan : and you don't have to worry about glue sniffing with me. although I do smell the occasional magic marker, yeah ah anyway I just think I can make you happy. Phoebe Buffay : ok I can't do this. Mike Hannigan : what's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward You kissed me.", "summary": "Rachel thought Emma was Ross's daughter, but Phoebe reveals that Emma's birth certificate says Geller, but her eyes say Mookurgee. Mike thinks there is someone better for Phoebe and tries to convince her, but she admits she has never been in a long-term relationship or celebrated an anniversary. Phoebe then confesses that Vicrum, the man she has been talking about, does not exist and Ross made him up because of her lack of experience with men. Mike is understanding and kisses her."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : uh huh. Phoebe Buffay : so you don't think I'm a total freak. Mike Hannigan : No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you. Phoebe Buffay : I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers. Mike Hannigan : Definitely. Ross Geller : This is Vicrum. Chandler Bing : Hi honey I'm home! Monica Geller : : Hi, how was your flight? Chandler Bing : oh it was great. Monica Geller : : Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. have a little surprise for you.", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe have a conversation about her being a freak, but Mike finds her cool for telling him the truth and wants to kiss her. Ross interrupts with a comment about Vicrum, and Chandler enters the scene with a sarcastic remark. Monica has a surprise for Chandler, which she invites him to sit and relax for."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : well, well, well it must be five in Tulsa because it's six o clock IN NY.C! Monica Geller : : Ok This is how much I love you. Chandler Bing : Honey why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around. Monica Geller : : Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier. Chandler Bing : no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all. Monica Geller : : Oh well this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks? Chandler Bing : does what always have to be sharks. Monica Geller : : Honey look we can do something else, do you want me to get into the tub and thrash. Chandler Bing : What's going on? Monica Geller : : sweetie it's ok, I still love you, let me be a part of this.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nA man (Chandler Bing) and woman (Monica Geller) are watching a movie together, but they are not sure which one it is. The woman suggests fast forwarding to a more exciting part, but the man is unsure. They discuss their love for each other despite the confusion over the movie."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : let ME be a part of this! Monica Geller : : I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. angry sharks turn you on! Chandler Bing : no they don't. Monica Geller : : then why were you watching them and giving YOURSELF a treat. Chandler Bing : OH MY GOD! When you came in I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn. Monica Geller : : really? Chandler Bing : yeah just some good old fashion girl on girl American action. Monica Geller : : I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! Chandler Bing : You are an amazing wife. No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that. Monica Geller : : Im very, very drunk right now.", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Monica Geller have a conversation about him watching pornography while hiding behind a TV in Tulsa, with Monica discovering he was watching shark porn and Chandler denying it, leading to Monica expressing her happiness at his admission and Chandler praising her for being an understanding and amazing wife."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her? Phoebe Buffay : you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious. Joey Tribbiani : your right! I love my life! I actually did sleep with her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey you guys, I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead. Joey Tribbiani : Thursday? But that's Halloween. Phoebe Buffay : So? Joey Tribbiani : So spooky, that's all. Ross Geller : So, so, is Mike coming to dinner? Phoebe Buffay : No! It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it's a little to soon to show my true colors. Rachel Green : Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. Which one of us should go to dinner?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is unsure if he slept with a woman due to low confidence. Phoebe Buffay advises him to address his dating attitude as he approaches 30 without any serious relationships. They make plans for dinner on Thursday, which conflicts with Rachel Green's plan to watch Emma. Ross Geller joins the conversation and asks if Mike will be attending dinner."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Rachel! Ross Geller : Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yay! Ross Geller : Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven't been together the six of us in such a long time. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? We're all together right now. Rachel Green : Um, Mon, Chandler's not here. Monica Geller : Oh, dear god! Chandler Bing : Good morning everyone, it's nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? Yes, Ken is it? Ken : That's right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?", "summary": "The group of friends, including Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe, haven't been together in a long time. They discuss going on a trip together, but there are questions about who will go and what will happen. Ken asks if the reason they are in Tulsa is because Ross fell asleep in a meeting and took a job without realizing what he was saying yes to."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken. But yeah, that's true. Alright, let's get started, by take a look at last quarter's figures. Ah, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses' ass? Claudia : I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you? Chandler Bing : No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can't remember why. You're not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right? Claudia : Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. Would you like one? Chandler Bing : Alright, lo...look. I don't smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine. So you all smoke then? That's almost rude, that I'm not. Ken : That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke ... Chandler Bing : Ken, please! No, I can't, I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me. Ken : I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York? Chandler Bing : I always liked you, Ken. Phoebe Buffay : Trick or treat!", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Ken discuss smoking in the office while Claudia joins in. Chandler reveals he used to smoke but quit, while Ken expresses disappointment that no one wants to smoke with him. Phoebe enters and distracts them with a Halloween-themed greeting."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, and treat it is. Monica Geller : Hmhmm. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, so glad I changed. Almost wore my ??? outfit that can't contain my breasts. Monica Geller : This is not, what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating and Chandler's gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Oh wait! you guys won't be late for my dinner, will you? Monica Geller : Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We'll probably be the first ones there. Phoebe Buffay : 'kay, see you there. Happy humping! Hey...hey! Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, don't people know, you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces? Chandler Bing : Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people. Phoebe Buffay : You smoked!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are getting ready for a dinner party, but Monica wants to have sex with Chandler beforehand. Phoebe is surprised and offers to let them try in the bathroom. However, they discover that smoking is illegal in public spaces in Oklahoma, where they are having the party."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No! I just happened t'do a lot trivias about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called Leyhallalookoos. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, you stink of cigarettes. Chandler Bing : Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound ... and the breasts of a Greek goddess. Chandler Bing : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : I'm gonna go. Chandler Bing : Okay, something to cover the smell ... Oven cleaner! Unscented! Monica Geller : Welcome home. I've missed you. join me in the bedroom? Chandler Bing : No thanks, I'm good. Monica Geller : O-kay, so you wanna play it that way, do you?", "summary": "Chandler smells like cigarettes after researching trivia about smoking in different states. Phoebe teases him, and Monica joins them in the bedroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so I'm feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower. Monica Geller : You don't need a shower. Chandler Bing : Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself during some turbulences. Monica Geller : What do I smell? I smell smoke. Huh-did you smoke? Chandler Bing : Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack...a...a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. But it's over, I made a decision, I'm not gonna smoke anymore. Monica Geller :  Chandler Bing : But, those are for you. Ross Geller : Alright, we'll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. Huh, that was my mom, she's stuck in terrible traffic. Rachel Green : Okay, well that's now the third sign that I should not leave Emma. Ross Geller : Oh, what were the other two?", "summary": "Chandler Bing soiled himself during a flight and lies about it to Monica Geller. He then reveals he has been smoking, but claims he quit. When Ross Geller arrives, Chandler tries to hide his smell from him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, let's see. The first one is: I don't want to. And, you know, I'm not going. Ross Geller : I know, it's the first time, we're leaving the baby and ... hey, I know how hard it is for you, but ... but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She's great with kids. Rachel Green : She is? Ross Geller : Ya. Rachel Green : What about Monica. Ross Geller : Hey, you only heard Monica's side of that. That little fatso was a terror. Rachel Green : Ish. I just don't think I can bear it. Ross Geller : Rachel, I know that you can. And you should. Rachel Green : Uch. Ross Geller : Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don't you, why don't you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I'll meet you there.", "summary": "Ross convinces Rachel to leave their baby with his mother while they go to a restaurant, despite Rachel's hesitation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh-A. Ross Geller : No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. Rachel Green : You need to learn some new slang. Ross Geller : I'm serious. C'mon, you should go. Here. No, uh-uh, just go. Rachel Green : What ... Oh! Ross Geller : No! No, you know what? You , the baby's fine, now squam . Yeah, story walking. Rachel Green : I was just going to say that I left my keys. Ross Geller : Oh, holy molly are we in a pickle now. Phoebe Buffay : Where is everyone? They're forty minutes late. Joey Tribbiani : I know, u-uch.", "summary": "Ross encourages Rachel to go out and have fun, but she is hesitant and uses old slang phrases. Phoebe and Joey arrive late to the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day. Joey Tribbiani : What about me, he? Only had one lunch today. Waiter : Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing. Waiter : Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable. Joey Tribbiani : No, they're comin', we're waitin' right here. Phoebe Buffay : Joseph! Thou needn't worry, they shan't be long. Waiter : It's just that we do have some large parties waiting. Phoebe Buffay : One really does have a stick up one's ass. Doesn't one? Monica Geller : How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it's chilling.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey are waiting for their friends at a restaurant, getting impatient as they wait for their party to arrive. The waiter offers them a table, but they refuse, expecting their friends to show up soon. Monica joins the conversation and expresses her disbelief that anyone would still smoke in this day and age, referencing an ad featuring a little boy walking to his grandfather and reprimanding him for smoking."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I messed up, it was a meeting, everybody was smoking. Monica Geller : So what? Don't you have any will power? Chandler Bing : Will power? I've watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs without taking the tin foil off. Monica Geller : You said that was sexy! Chandler Bing : 'kay, look: Can we just drop this? I'm not gonna smoke again. Monica Geller : That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again. Chandler Bing : You forbid me? Monica Geller : Mhmm. Chandler Bing : You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way? Monica Geller : Don't joke with me, okay? I'm very, very upset right now.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue about him smoking in front of others, with Chandler claiming he has no willpower and Monica revealing she has seen home movies of him eating ding-dongs without removing the tin foil. The conversation ends with Monica forbidding Chandler from smoking again and Chandler jokingly asking if his wife is present, which upsets Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be? Monica Geller : Yes. Chandler Bing : Then, I might as well ... do this . Not really sure what to do now. Monica Geller : Well, I'll tell you what we're gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe's birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we're gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex. Chandler Bing : Fine. What!? Monica Geller : Sex! This is the last day I'm ovulating, and when we don't do it now, we'll have to wait till next month. Chandler Bing : You serious? Monica Geller : Oh yeah! Chandler Bing : Right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking. Monica Geller : Huh, and no cuddling.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a fight, but then she suggests they have sex before they go to Phoebe's birthday dinner because it will be a month until she ovulates again. Chandler agrees, but there are no talking or cuddling during the act."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And no kissing your neck. Monica Geller : Oh good, I hate it when you do that. Chandler Bing : And lots of kissing your neck. Ross Geller : Okay, well the ??? is not home. Rachel Green : No. Uch. Ross Geller : Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys. Rachel Green : Alright, I can't, I can't wait that long. You have to do something-knock that door down! Ross Geller : I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y...you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping. Rachel Green : What if she jumped out the bassinet? Ross Geller : Can't hold her own head up, but yeah jumped.", "summary": "Ross has a key to the house and won't let Rachel in until Monica arrives. Monica doesn't want Chandler kissing her neck. Chandler does not like it when Ross kisses his neck."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my god, I left the water running. Ross Geller : Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay? Rachel Green : Ah, did I leave the stove on? Ross Geller : You never cooked since 1996. Rachel Green : Is the window open? Because if there's a window open, a bird could fly in there. Ross Geller : Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think ... listen, listen! Rachel Green : Ubb. Ross Geller : A pigeon, a pigeon. No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment. Rachel Green : Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true. Waiter : Hello.", "summary": "The water running and stove left on lead to a series of events, including a bird flying into the apartment and grabbing a baby, and a whirlpool filling the room."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Waiter : It's been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe we should just eat now. Waiter : You can't order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy. Joey Tribbiani : Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there's still some food left on their place, okay, what's the restaurant's policy about people eatin' that? Waiter : Estrangement . Joey Tribbiani : But it happens? I'm gotta go to the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : No, you can't go. No-no-no, I can't hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave. Joey Tribbiani : If you ask me to stay, I'll pee. Maitre D' : Good evening, Miss. Miss? Miss? Miss!", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe are at a restaurant waiting for their friends, but it's been an hour and they're getting restless. The waiter informs them that they can't order until everyone in the party has arrived, sparking a debate about the policy. Meanwhile, Joey needs to use the bathroom but Phoebe refuses to hold the table for him, leading to a comical standoff."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, fine, I'll move. Alright, you don't have to manhandle me. Where? Okay. Thank you. Wach. Joey Tribbiani : Finally you guys made it. Pheebs, who the hell-uhuhh! Monica Geller : Spend more time with the tie. That'll make a baby. Chandler Bing : Look, I can't do this. I can't make luv to you while we're fighting this way. Monica Geller : Oh sure, now you're Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle's funeral. Chandler Bing : That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I'm not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived? Monica Geller : No, you're right. Mnya, we shouldn't do it like this. Huch. For what it's worth, I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world. Chandler Bing : Mean it? Monica Geller : Yah. Chandler Bing : You are incredible. Unless, I...I'm not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are fighting about Monica's smoking, which led to Chandler feeling uncomfortable and wanting to make love without the tension. Phoebe agrees to move in with Joey, but only after Joey manhandles her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : D'you want to? Chandler Bing : Yeah, let's celebrate life! Monica Geller : 'kay. Rachel Green : Och, god. Oh, thank god, you're okay. I'm so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch. Ross Geller : Great. So let's get going? Rachel Green : Oh no. I mean it. After what just happened, I'm never leaving her again. Judy Geller : I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: \"Mommy, I'm a girl, take me with you.\" Ross Geller : Somehow over time it got easier to be apart from you. Chandler Bing : Uhh. You are welcome. Monica Geller : You know what? Let's not talk.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang celebrates life after a near-death experience, but Rachel feels guilty and promises never to leave Monica again. Ross comforts her, revealing that he has become more comfortable with their separation over time."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Uch. I am still so mad at you for smoking. Chandler Bing : But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettes-no big deal. Monica Geller : Oh, blablablabaybaybay. Chandler Bing : Leave it. Monica Geller : I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn't have sex with me while we're fighting. Chandler Bing : You tricked me to get me into bed? Monica Geller : That's right, I got mine. Chandler Bing : I feel so used. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I guess they're not coming. You wanna just order?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue about him smoking, with Monica revealing that she tricked him into having sex while ovulating."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Waiter! 'lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. Waiter : Er-does not. Phoebe Buffay : Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend? Waiter : Oh, they're both exclus... Phoebe Buffay : Both it is, thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it's ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don't care. Rachel Green : Hey, hi, hi! Waiter : I'll just wait to put your order in. Phoebe Buffay : You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two? Ross Geller : I'm so sorry ...", "summary": "Risotto with truffles and roasted steak with golden Chanterelles and Bordelaise sauce. Snails. Tomato tart and pasta recommendations. Special request for everything as soon as ready. Appetizers and entrees ordered. Over an hour late due to unspecified reason."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : We got locked out of the apartment, we ... Joey Tribbiani : That's a great story-can I eat it? Ross Geller : And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby. Rachel Green : N-it wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I got to do. Phoebe Buffay : And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma? Rachel Green : Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I'm not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she's doing at home and I'm being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : She spit up. Judy! She spi...Judy! Look alive, Judy! Thank you. Ross Geller : Thanks. Oh. Rachel Green : Oh, ooh, everything looks delicious. What should I ha-ave? What should I have?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel and Joey get locked out of their apartment, while Ross tries to help Rachel with her baby. Phoebe introduces Judy at the bar, but Rachel is more concerned about her baby's well-being."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman. Ross Geller : Y'know this ??? is incredible. Joey Tribbiani : Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach. Ross Geller : Okay, I'll have the fixed salad and the duck. Rachel Green : Yah, I'll have the soup and the salmon. Joey Tribbiani : And remember whatever comes up first. Okay? And hurry, because ... Monica Geller : Happy birthday! Joey Tribbiani : Son of a bitch! Phoebe Buffay : Wher-where have you been? Monica Geller : Well, we had a little fight.", "summary": "Joey and Ross have a conversation about never hitting a woman, while Rachel and Chandler order food at a restaurant. Joey makes a comment about Ross's bruises, which leads to a discussion about Monica's birthday. Phoebe joins the group and asks where they have been, leading to a revelation of a recent fight between Monica and Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I would never lie to get someone into bed. Monica Geller : You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn't it? How d'you get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck. Chandler Bing : I suppose that Monica will have the ... manipulative shrew. Waiter : I'll give you another minute. Joey Tribbiani : Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! Ross Geller : Rach, c'mon, Emma is fine. You're turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop. Rachel Green : Y'guys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon? Chandler Bing : You mean the lully story? Ross Geller : Huh-huh, they already know it. Phoebe Buffay : You guys, we've been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.", "summary": "Monica reveals that Chandler used to lie about being a Kennedy to get girls into bed. Chandler defends himself by saying he only did it in high school. Monica then asks how he got a bigger table at the restaurant, and Chandler explains that they made him move from a larger table. Joey tries to interject, but Rachel cuts him off and starts telling a story about Ross's mom going to the beauty salon. Phoebe chimes in and suggests that the group should order their food."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, no, it's okay, I already told the waiter what they want. Monica Geller : Why would you do that? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, control your woman! Rachel Green : Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast ... to Phoebe. She dropped her sock. Phoebe Buffay : Aw ... what? Rachel Green : N-no, Emma dropped her sock. Monica Geller : Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town. Rachel Green : Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground. Phoebe Buffay : 's a good toast. Rachel Green : Could you please get her attention?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group celebrates Emma's birthday with lunch at a restaurant, but things quickly go awry when Phoebe drops her sock and Monica's mom shows up unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : W-oa ... Mommy! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, for god's sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! I'm sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt the hideousness that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn't even have the courtesy to call. Well, it's too late now. Ross Geller : Well, ??? think that's us? Phoebe Buffay : well, this is, this is, this is not over! Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Well, what is going on with you two? Monica Geller : Uch, you see, I'm ovulating. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that's what she says. But maybe you're not ovulating at all, maybe it's just a clever ruse to get me into bed. Monica Geller : Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can't get enough. Chandler Bing : You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked me into having sex with her. Joey Tribbiani : So? Did have sex, right?", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe argue over dinner plans on her birthday, while Monica reveals she's ovulating and Chandler suspects a trick to get him into bed."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What's the matter with me? Why I'm such a girl? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, that was Mike. Rachel Green : Phoebe, hi, we're so sorry. You're totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration. Phoebe Buffay : Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, I'm gonna take off. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I'm not t-not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! Judy! Bye. Rachel Green : Oh thank god, if Phoebe's going, can we please take Emma home? Ross Geller : You know, I think that's a good idea-our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. Bye, y'guys. Monica Geller : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : See ya. Well, this is just us.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Green arrive at a party early, while Chandler Bing wonders what's wrong with him. Phoebe reveals that Mike got off work early, and she leaves to go see him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Mhum. Monica Geller : So, I'm, I'm probably still ovulating. Do you want to give it another try? Chandler Bing : So you never had sex with a Kennedy, have you? Joey Tribbiani : Do, do you gonna do it now? Monica Geller : We don't have much time. Once the egg descended the oviduct ... Joey Tribbiani : No-ohoh. Maitre D' : I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning. Joey Tribbiani : Nah, just me. All alone. Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special. Waiter : How was everything, sir? Joey Tribbiani : Excellent. The shrew in particular was exclusive.", "summary": "Monica wants to have sex again with Chandler despite being ovulating and has a doubt about it. Meanwhile, Joey tries to get attention by claiming he is having dinner alone."}
-{"dialogues": "Waiter : Well, I hope, you got some room left. Waiters : Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear ... Joey Tribbiani : Joey! Joey. Waiters : ... Joey, happy birthday to you. Joey Tribbiani : That's the best birthday ever. Chandler Bing : Hello? Hello? Monica Geller : I LOVE MY NEW JOB! Chandler Bing : Honey, you're screaming. Monica Geller : YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's great.", "summary": "Joey has a birthday and the waiter sings happy birthday to him. Chandler joins in with a random \"hello?\" before Monica exclaims about her new job at a larger kitchen than Alessandro's."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean. Chandler Bing : Awesome. Monica Geller : Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. Mike Hannigan : This is nice. Phoebe Buffay : I know! Mike Hannigan : You need both hands for that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I kinda do. Well, how's this? Joey Tribbiani : Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? Have you not talked about it yet? Am I making you uncomfortable? If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation. Mike Hannigan : Is it?", "summary": "Monica takes Chandler to a fancy restaurant where the staff is friendly and hilarious. Joey and Phoebe are holding hands but are unsure about their feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Maybe not, is it? Mike Hannigan : Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... No, not... that's gum. Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there... Phoebe Buffay : I know Mike, why don't you keep digging? Mike Hannigan : Oh, sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars. Mike Hannigan : It's to my apartment. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because... Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I want to. Mike Hannigan : Oh, thank God.", "summary": "Mike wants to give Phoebe a key to his apartment, but she declines and instead takes $5. They have been divorced for a while and are starting to develop feelings for each other again."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. Mike Hannigan : Is this cool, huh? Phoebe Buffay : It really is. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! Rachel Green : So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her. Prospective Nanny : I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. Rachel Green : That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us? Prospective Nanny : Not really. Rachel Green : Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... Ross Geller : Thank you.", "summary": "Phoebe and Mike meet and start a romantic relationship, while Joey and Rachel discuss Emma's nanny and the transition back to work."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you. Prospective Nanny : Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. Do you guys do random drug testing? Ross Geller : Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that. Prospective Nanny : That's cool. But... but if you do, I'm gonna need three days notice. Rachel Green : Okidoki! Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny. Ross Geller : Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with. Rachel Green : What, the blonde with no bra? Ross Geller : She was blonde? Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years. Rachel Green : Okay... Sandy : Hi... I'm Sandy.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are trying to find a nanny for their baby, but they have trouble finding someone who fits their criteria. They interview several candidates, but nothing seems to work out."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : And she's a little mannish... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! David! David : Hi! I-i-is this a bad time? Phoebe Buffay : No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk? David : Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Who cares, it got you here. David : Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. Where is your luggage? David : Damn it! Phoebe Buffay : A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company.", "summary": "David arrives unannounced at Ross and Phoebe's apartment, explaining that he has come to explain why they spent all of the grant money they were given without accomplishing anything."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good. David : Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? Phoebe Buffay : No... Phoebe Buffay : I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike? Monica Geller : Maybe he didn't give you a chance. Phoebe Buffay : He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no... Monica Geller : Oh, well... That had been your window. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible. Monica Geller : Really? The scientist guy?", "summary": "David is impressed by Phoebe's appearance and they catch up after not seeing each other for a long time. Phoebe lies about being single and David expresses his confusion when she says no one is that beautiful. Monica joins the conversation and suggests that maybe David didn't give her a chance. The group discusses their dating lives and David's attraction to Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Really? Chandler? Monica Geller : Continue... Phoebe Buffay : Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : I know! Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God! Monica Geller : Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys? Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am. Monica Geller : What are you gonna do? Phoebe Buffay : I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong... Monica Geller : You have to tell David!", "summary": "Phoebe and Chandler's conversation about their relationship takes a turn when Mike shows up and Phoebe accidentally gives him a key to her apartment. Meanwhile, Monica tries to convince Phoebe to be honest with David about her feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey. Chandler Bing : Funniest guy she's ever met! I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... Save it for inside! Monica Geller : Heeeeeey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch. Monica Geller : Was your cabin pressurised? Chandler Bing : And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss their opinions on Oklahoma, while Phoebe joins in with her own thoughts. Chandler makes jokes about the state's name and Monica questions if the cabin they were at was pressurized. The group then engages in a humorous conversation about the way people speak in Tulsa and the use of the word \"y'all.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right? Chandler Bing : Yeah, he came up... Monica Geller : Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. Chandler Bing : Were you there? Phoebe Buffay : No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny... Sandy : I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... Rachel Green : Sandy, that's exactly what it is... Ross Geller : Are you gay? Rachel Green : Ross! Sandy : It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do. But I am straight. I-I'm engaged actually.", "summary": "* Monica tells Chandler about Geoffrey doing something funny at work.\n* Chandler asks if he was there and Phoebe responds that she wasn't but it sounds funny.\n* Sandy understands how hard it is to leave a child with someone else and Rachel agrees.\n* Ross asks Sandy if he is gay and Sandy confirms that he is straight, revealing that he is engaged."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh! Sandy : Her name is Deliah. Rachel Green : Oh, that's pretty. Ross Geller : So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny? Sandy : I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child. Ross Geller : Okay. Sandy : Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I Left, I Said I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... Ross Geller : Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. Rachel Green : Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed. Sandy : Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...", "summary": "Rachel mistakes Sandy's name for Deliah and Sandy explains that he is a nanny who takes care of children. Ross is skeptical but Sandy shares an anecdote about his previous job where he watched a child grow from three weeks old into an awesome person. The conversation then shifts to Rachel needing to change the baby's diaper."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, that would be great! I love him, I love him, I love him... Ross Geller : Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy! Rachel Green : So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out. Ross Geller : Because, it's weird! Rachel Green : Why? Ross Geller : What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be... Rachel Green : Yes? Ross Geller : King? Sandy : I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... Rachel Green : Please? YES! Sandy you're hired.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss the possibility of hiring a nanny for Emma, with Ross expressing his reservations about the idea. Meanwhile, Sandy is introduced as a potential candidate and is hired on the spot."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandy : That's great! I'm sorry. It's just... such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family... Rachel Green : Oooh... ***I really can't hear what she says*** come here. Ross Geller : You gotta be at least bi... Chandler Bing : Hey! I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh. I-I don't know Chan. I'm not so good with remembering lines. Chandler Bing : Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it. Joey Tribbiani : I know, right? Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this? Chandler Bing : Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met. Joey Tribbiani : Seriously? She actually said that? Chandler Bing : Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?", "summary": "New family"}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Nooooo! Being funny is your thing! Chandler Bing : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Without that, you just got \"lame with women\". Chandler Bing : Ye.... Monica Geller : Hi! There you are. Joey Tribbiani : Fire trucks! David : Wow, you look even... more beautiful than you did yesterday. Phoebe Buffay : Oof... David : In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait, wait!", "summary": "Joey and Chandler argue about their respective strengths, with Joey insisting that being funny is Chandler's thing. Monica interrupts, and David makes a move on Phoebe before she can stop him."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Yeah, I-I don't, I can't get away with stuff like that. I-I-It sounded sexy in my head, so I... Phoebe Buffay : No, no, it's not that. Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike. David : Oh... oh... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I should have told you. David : No... well, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. David : Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy? Phoebe Buffay : I am happy. David : Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go... Phoebe Buffay : Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.", "summary": "David discovers that Phoebe has been lying to him about being single and is actually in a relationship with someone named Mike. Phoebe confesses and apologizes for not telling him earlier, and David expresses his feelings of hurt and confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Well... just so you know... hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival either... Can we at least hug goodbye? Phoebe Buffay : Of course, yeah. You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate... David : No... no... Phoebe Buffay : I mean... David : In Minsk... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? David : ...it's uhm... i-it's two on each cheek and uhm... and one on the lips. Phoebe Buffay : Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... In New York... it's... Rachel Green : Oh... Oh boy... Hi... Ross Geller : Is everything allright?", "summary": "David and Phoebe are discussing a hug goodbye, with David expressing hesitation and Phoebe suggesting a kiss on the cheek. Rachel enters and overhears their conversation, causing her to exclaim in shock."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiance and it was just sooo beautiful. Sandy : Well, her favourite flower is the camellia. From the poem... Rachel Green : I can't... I can't hear it again. Sandy : You know, I can't tell it again... Ross Geller : And I'm fine never having heard it... Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec? Rachel Green : Yeah! Excuse me... Ross Geller : Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in. Rachel Green : Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. Rachel Green : What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby?", "summary": "Sandy proposed to his fianc\u00e9 with a beautiful poem, but he can't repeat it again. Ross is unmoved by the story and jokes about Sandy being too sensitive."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... These are amazing! Rachel Green : Sandy made Madeleines. Ross Geller : This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. Rachel Green : Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle. Ross Geller : Hey... there's sensitive... and there is too sensitive. Rachel Green : Okay, what? What is too sensitive? Phoebe Buffay : Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad. David : But... I-I-It's nice... A-a-and... nice is good. A-a-and good is not bad, ergo, w-w-we should keep kissing. Phoebe Buffay : No, no. No. David : But... ergo...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss a man making delicate French cookies, with Ross expressing surprise that a guy would do something so \"sensitive.\" Rachel replies that she never thought of Ross as a guy who needed his men to be men. Phoebe enters and joins in the conversation, but ultimately decides not to participate due to the topic being \"bad.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him... David : Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... Mike Hannigan : Well... hey, the key works...! Phoebe Buffay : And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you. Ross Geller : Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny? Monica Geller : Yeah! I think that's great! Ross Geller : Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines? Monica Geller : Oh... How are they? Ross Geller : Lighter than air... But that's not the point. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Phoebe and David were together, but he left and she started dating Mike. They are now together, but David returns and tries to reconcile."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny. Joey Tribbiani : Really...? Guys do that...? That's... weird... Ross Geller : Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : That's like a woman wanting to be a... Ross Geller : ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence? Monica Geller : Yes... What is the end of that sentence? Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... A penis model. Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met? Monica Geller : Yeah, so? Ross Geller : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Really? Do you not know Chandler?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel hired a male nanny, which Joey finds unusual. Ross thanks him, and Joey makes a comment about a \"penis model.\" Monica joins in and asks what the end of the sentence is. Joey awkwardly tries to change the subject by bringing up Chandler, who he thinks is the funniest guy at work."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey... Joey Tribbiani : So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... Ross Geller : Science...? Academia...? Being a good father...? Joey Tribbiani : ...No... Monica Geller : I can't believe he's that upset about this... Joey Tribbiani : Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Heeeyy! Hey! Chandler Bing : What are you guys talking about? Ross Geller : Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel hire a male nanny, causing tension among the friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? Chandler Bing : You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. Monica Geller : Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister! Chandler Bing : If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. Monica Geller : Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! Chandler Bing : What is so funny about that? Monica Geller : Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! Chandler Bing : Did you tell her what we talked about? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah.... Chandler Bing : So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS?", "summary": "Chandler makes a joke about a male nanny, which Monica finds amusing. They exchange more jokes and Chandler reveals that he would have brought more pizza if he had known guests were coming over. Joey joins in and mentions that he told Monica what they talked about earlier."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Is he funnier than me? Monica Geller : Well, you're... you're different funny... I mean, you're... you're more sarcastic a-a-and... well, he does... bits... and impressions... and... and limericks... Chandler Bing : I do limericks... uhm... There once was a man named Chandler, whose wife made him die inside. Monica Geller : Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? That slayed me. Ross Geller : Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! Joey Tribbiani : Not knowing when to shut up... Ross Geller : Yep! That's my thing... Mike Hannigan : So... how many guys have your key? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.", "summary": "Monica reassures Chandler that he has nothing to worry about with Geoffrey, but Chandler is still insecure about his comedy skills compared to Geoffrey's. Monica defends Chandler and highlights his unique sense of humor, including his ability to tell jokes and do impressions. Ross interrupts to brag about making up a joke that slayed Monica, while Joey shares his own struggle with knowing when to stop talking. Mike joins the conversation and jokingly asks how many men have Monica's key, which leads to Phoebe insisting that she was just saying goodbye to an old friend and not anything more significant."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Your lipstick's on his mouth. David : Oh, uh... we just uh... happen to wear the same shade. Phoebe Buffay : No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days. Mike Hannigan : Did you uhm... Phoebe Buffay : No, no... Mike Hannigan : ...kiss him? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, yeah... David : Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. Mike Hannigan : Don't point your finger at me. David : Why? Wh-What are you going to do about it?", "summary": "David and Phoebe used to date years ago, but now he's in town for a couple of days and they run into each other with Mike in the middle. They both try to downplay any romantic connection between them, but David reveals that Phoebe really likes Mike and Mike is oblivious to it."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... Phoebe Buffay : Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! Here David, you should just go. David : Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... well, you just better watch out. Mike Hannigan : Well, if I ever goto Minsk, you'd better watch out. David : Oh, you're going to Minsk? Mike Hannigan : Well, I might. David : Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well... guys? David : Right... Goodbye Phoebe. Mike Hannigan : Hey, what are you kidding me?", "summary": "Mike Hannigan and Phoebe Buffay try to convince David to leave after he makes a threat. They warn him that someone could get hurt. Mike says he might go to Minsk and invites David to come in the spring."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Right-o, right-o... Take good care of her. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand. Mike Hannigan : It's never gonna happen again right? Phoebe Buffay : Right! Never! Never! I swear! David : I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns. Ross Geller : Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice. Joey Tribbiani : Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... Ross Geller : I swear to God...! Sandy : Who's up for puppets?", "summary": "David wants Phoebe to take care of a key and promises not to do anything stupid again. Mike says it will never happen again. Phoebe swears it will never happen again. David gives his number to Phoebe in case she comes to Minsk and they can party \"Vladnik style.\" Joey teaches Ross how to play Hot-cross Buns, but Ross thinks it sounds like Three Blind Mice. Sandy suggests doing something with puppets."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Me! I'm up for puppets! Sandy : Well, please welcome... The Snufflebumps... Who wants to be mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus? Ross Geller : Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets? Sandy : Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. Joey Tribbiani : I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Sandy : Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... Rachel Green : That was kind of rude! Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me. Rachel Green : You know, he was just doing his job...", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a group of friends discussing puppets and their potential educational benefits for babies. Joey wants to be Mr. Wigglemunch, while Ross is skeptical about how a two-month-old can appreciate puppets. Sandy explains that studies have shown the movement and colors of puppets help with cerebral development, and the whimsical characters are for adults. Rachel defends Ross's rudeness towards Sandy and the Snufflebumps."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this. Rachel Green : Oh, come on Ross... Ross Geller : No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with... Rachel Green : Oh... That's true. Ross Geller : Thank you! Rachel Green : Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. Sandy : So you see Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to shaaaaaaare... Joey Tribbiani : I am learning so much from you. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at www.hahanotsomuch.com. Monica Geller : Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are discussing a problematic employee, Sandy, who is causing tension in the office. Ross wants to fire him, but Rachel is hesitant. Joey is learning from Sandy and Chandler is leaving for Tulsa. Monica shares an uncomfortable experience at work with Geoffrey telling a sexist joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really...? See... that's the thing: you gotta keep it smart, people! Monica Geller : Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you. Chandler Bing : I love you too. And... I like you as a friend. Joey Tribbiani : Allright. See you later! Chandler Bing : See ya! Joey Tribbiani : Did that guy really make that joke? Monica Geller : Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out. Ross Geller : Here goes... Rachel Green : I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. Ross Geller : Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are planning a trip, but Chandler is worried about losing his luggage. Joey makes a joke about the flight attendant. Monica and Chandler express their feelings for each other. Ross tries to break up with Rachel, but she is upset."}
-{"dialogues": "Sandy : Oh... Ross Geller : Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel... Rachel Green : YOU! You feel! Ross Geller : I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation... Sandy : Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best. Rachel Green : Oh, damn you Geller! Ross Geller : Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings. Sandy : No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future. Ross Geller : No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue. Sandy : What is it...? Please...?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are disappointed that Sandy chose another family for her babysitting job. Ross feels the chemistry isn't right with Emma, and Sandy picked them because she liked them best. Despite this, there are no hard feelings, and Sandy asks Ross what his issue is."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you. Sandy : That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is? Ross Geller : Why... I... I don't know. Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father? Sandy : hmmm... Ross Geller : I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now. Rachel Green : Huh ha ha! Ross Geller : I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive. Sandy : That must have been hard. Ross Geller : It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... \"What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy? Sandy : But you are a real boy!", "summary": "Ross reveals to Sandy that he has issues with men who are as sensitive as him due to his father's disapproval when he was younger."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I know I am! ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top? Sandy : It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out. Ross Geller : Here come some more... Sandy : And what's the one kind of boat that can never, ever sink? Joey Tribbiani : What kind? Sandy : A friend-ship... Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You blow my mind... Sandy : Oh, I gotta go. Joey Tribbiani : Aaahh... How much do I owe you? Sandy : Twenty bucks.", "summary": "Ross and Sandy have a conversation about tank tops in hot weather, with Ross expressing frustration at Sandy's crying. Joey enters the conversation and asks Sandy what the one kind of boat that can never sink is, to which Sandy replies \"a friendship.\" Joey is impressed by this answer."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : It's like the cheapest college ever. Ross Geller : And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. Yes we were! Yes we were! Come here gorgeous. Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. Big baby butt! I like big butts. I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get... Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm... My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... I'm a terrible father! Chandler Bing : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey... hey listen... What do you guys know about investments? Chandler Bing : How come? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it. Monica Geller : What do you do with your money now? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots! Chandler Bing : Do you have any ideas? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...", "summary": "Joey and Ross argue over a break in their relationship, while Chandler and Monica discuss investments. Joey plans to invest his newfound money in an emu farm."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Right! People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: \"Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird.\" Or... or maybe just a wing or... Monica Geller : Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. That's right, I know some stuff! Joey Tribbiani : Real estate, huh? Hmmm... Monica Geller : Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard! Chandler Bing : Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica! Monica Geller : My dad told me. They play golf together. Chandler Bing : Oh, well... Maybe I'll join them some time. I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand and beat the moustache off his face. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Monica suggests investing in real estate, but Joey prefers to consider a risky venture involving emus. Chandler reveals that he knows Richard's ex-girlfriend, and Monica shares a surprising fact about her father and Richard's golf game."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! Monica Geller : Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step. Phoebe Buffay : Really? That hadn't occurred to me. Monica Geller : They just gonna love you, just be yourself. Phoebe Buffay : They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue! Rachel Green : Oh yeah, she can't be herself. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so... allright... Which dress? You can say \"neither\". Monica Geller : Oh God, neither! Monica Geller : I'm sorry honey, but we're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine. Rachel Green : Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: \"Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks...\"", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is meeting Mike's parents for the first time and needs help picking a dress to impress them. Monica Geller and Rachel Green offer their input, but things quickly get out of hand as they start giving unsolicited advice and making inappropriate comments about Mike's father."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You went out with Wallis Pincer? Rachel Green : Uh, he took the SAT's for me. Monica Geller : I knew you didn't get a 1400! Rachel Green : Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean... Phoebe Buffay : So... now... What about with Mike's mom? Rachel Green : Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had. Monica Geller : She said WHAT? Phoebe Buffay : That's she's like the daughter she never had. Listen! Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi.", "summary": "Rachel got someone to take her SAT for her and Monica found out; they tease Rachel about it. Later, they discuss how to handle relationships with Mike's mom and Phoebe offers advice."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet! Ross Geller : Guess what? I made Emma laugh today. Rachel Green : You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie? Ross Geller : Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... Only... only not creepy. Rachel Green : Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? Ross Geller : I uhm... Well, I sang... well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... Rachel Green : You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses? Ross Geller : But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles. Rachel Green : owwwww... Ross Geller : Please don't take her away from me!", "summary": "Mike's parents are coming to meet Phoebe and Ross sings a song called \"Baby Got Back\" to make Emma laugh, which Ross claims promotes healthy body image."}
-{"dialogues": "Catherine : Oh hi, come on in. I'm Catherine, the listing agent. Joey Tribbiani : Hi I'm Joey. This is Chandler. Chandler Bing : So how come Richard's selling the place? Went bankrupt? Medical malpractice? Choked on his own moustache? Catherine : Actually, he is buying a much bigger place. It's got a great view of Central Pa..... Chandler Bing : mmm That's enough about you! Joey Tribbiani : Is there anything we should know about the apartment? Catherine : All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... Chandler Bing : No, no, no, no, no, NO! No, no... we're not together. We're not a couple. We're definately not a couple. Catherine : Oh... Okay, sorry! Joey Tribbiani : Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Richard is buying a bigger place instead of selling his current one, and Catherine, the listing agent, is showing it to Joey and Chandler. They ask about Richard's reasons for buying a new place, but Catherine reveals that he is actually selling because he went bankrupt. The conversation then turns to their personal lives, with Joey making a comment about Chandler's moustache and Chandler insisting they are not a couple."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! You don't think he's here, do you? Joey Tribbiani : You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... Yeah, I could see it. Chandler Bing : Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : There's a tape here with Monica's name on it. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... Wait a minute... This says Monica... And this is Richard's apartment... Chandler Bing : Get there faster! Mike Hannigan : Wow! You look like... like my mom. Phoebe Buffay : I'm wearing pantyhose! Mike Hannigan : Great! Come on in!", "summary": "Monica and Richard are shown a luxury apartment, but Chandler and Joey are intimidated by its pretentiousness. They find a tape with Monica's name on it, leading them to believe it may be a sex tape."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you! Oh... Oh my God, you're RICH! Mike Hannigan : No, my parents are rich. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. HELLO! Mike Hannigan : Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy. Phoebe Buffay : Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight! Bitsy Hannigan : It's so nice to finally meet you! Phoebe Buffay : And you... Your home is lovely. Bitsy Hannigan : Well thank you, I'll give you a tour later. It's actually three floors. Phoebe Buffay : Holy crap! Bitsy Hannigan : Phoebe, why don't you come in the living room and meet our friends?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Phoebe Buffay meeting Mike Hannigan's wealthy parents, Theodore and Bitsy. Phoebe expresses her surprise at their wealth, and Bitsy invites her to a tour of their three-story home."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, try and stop me! Mike Hannigan : Hey... Wh... What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I'm trying to get your parents to like me. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Got it! It... It's hard to stop... Mike Hannigan : Well, come on... Theodore : Phoebe, these are our friends, Tom and Sue Angle. Bitsy Hannigan : Phoebe, come sit. Tell us a little bit about yourself... So where are you from? Phoebe Buffay : Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... So... where does everyone summer? Phoebe Buffay : God! God! This is not going well.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay tries to impress Mike Hannigan's parents by sharing personal information about herself, but her attempts are met with confusion and discomfort."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay, okay, okay... Still sure about me being myself? Mike Hannigan : Absolutely! Or maybe just a little less pimp spit. Phoebe Buffay : So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from... Theodore : Oh... Well... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time... Theodore : Oh no, not all the time... I do the best I can... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I bet! Look out! Theodore : OH! OWWWWW! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, are you okay?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay tries to convince Mike Hannigan's dad that she is being herself, but he is not convinced. Theodore joins the conversation and Phoebe makes a comment about Mike's good looks and physique. Theodore denies working out too much, and Phoebe accidentally hits him."}
-{"dialogues": "Theodore : I recently had surgery. Phoebe Buffay : I'm so sorry! Theodore : No, I'll be fine... I just should check the stitches... Phoebe Buffay : I really, really am sorry. Theodore : How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? Mike Hannigan : Uhm... Did you just hit my dad? Phoebe Buffay : Yes... I'm sorry, I've never met a boyfriends parents before... Mike Hannigan : But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding.", "summary": "Theodore recently had surgery and is checking his stitches. Phoebe Buffay expresses sympathy, but Theodore insists he will be fine. Mike Hannigan enters the conversation and asks if Theodore hit his father. Phoebe apologizes and offers to talk to Mike's mother instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight. Bitsy Hannigan : Well, not at all... Phoebe Buffay : Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is. Bitsy Hannigan : Thank you, I think so too. Phoebe Buffay : Well, and you know, it really is a testament to how he was raised. Especially to you. Because he's very respectful of women. Bitsy Hannigan : Is he really? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover. Bitsy Hannigan : E-e-excuse me? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave... Bitsy Hannigan : That's... my boy.", "summary": "Phoebe thanks Bitsy for hosting her and compliments her son on being respectful of women. Bitsy is surprised and confused by Phoebe's comments about her son's sexual prowess."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Awesome! Chandler Bing : I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey dude, what's up? Chandler Bing : Don't judge me, I'm only human! Joey Tribbiani : Did you take that tape? Chandler Bing : I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Who'm I'm married to? Chandler Bing : Some girl...!? Joey Tribbiani : She hot? Chandler Bing : Yeah...!?", "summary": "Chandler finds a tape in his apartment that he assumes belongs to his wife, Monica. When Joey asks him about it, Chandler reveals that he found the tape in another man's apartment and wants to know what's on it. Joey is confused and wonders who Chandler is married to, with Chandler vaguely replying that she is \"some girl...!\" before being asked if she is hot."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : How did she get me to settle down? Chandler Bing : Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... Can it? Joey Tribbiani : Guess I don't know. My experience: if a girl says yes to being taped... She doesn't say no to much else, I tell ya... Chandler Bing : Then you're gonna have to watch it for me. Joey Tribbiani : What? Whoo... What? Chandler Bing : Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please? Joey Tribbiani : All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... Chandler Bing : Why am I hearing cheering? Joey Tribbiani : Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game. Chandler Bing : Football? Just football?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Chandler discuss how a girl got Joey to settle down, with Chandler agreeing to watch a video of the encounter for clarity. Joey reluctantly agrees, but only for a brief moment before becoming distracted by a football game."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing. Chandler Bing : It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... What the... What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : You don't wanna see what I just saw! Monica Geller : What are you guys doing? Oh my God, is that Richard? Rachel Green : Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that... Ross Geller : Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh? Rachel Green : Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider... Ross Geller : You sang Baby Got Back didn't you?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler are at a football game, where Joey sees something shocking. Monica enters and overhears their conversation, while Rachel tries to make her laugh with offensive jokes. Ross joins in and asks Rachel about what made Emma laugh, leading to a discussion of her unique sense of humor."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass... Phoebe Buffay : ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Pervert Parade? Mike Hannigan : No... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Ode To A Pubic Hair? Mike Hannigan : Stop! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God! Is that veal? Mike Hannigan : Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian. Bitsy Hannigan : Oh!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Phoebe Buffay's songwriting abilities and her songs \"Smelly Cat\" and \"Ode to a Pubic Hair.\" Mike Hannigan asks Phoebe about one of her songs from the night before that everyone loved, but Phoebe quickly deflects the question. Bitsy Hannigan enters the conversation and mistakes veal for something else."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love... Mike Hannigan : Phoebe you don't have to eat... Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... Hmmm... yummy Hmmm... Mike Hannigan : So...? What do you think? Monica Geller : So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment? Chandler Bing : Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the porn star! Monica Geller : That tape was never meant to be seen by... Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. Monica Geller : Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it? Chandler Bing : Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is a vegetarian except for veal, which she loves. Mike Hannigan tries to convince her not to eat it, but Phoebe finds it delicious. Meanwhile, Monica Geller reveals that she stole a tape from Richard's apartment and Chandler Bing defends her actions. Joey Tribbiani joins the conversation and Monica becomes uncomfortable with discussing the topic in public."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache? Chandler Bing : This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants. Monica Geller : Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache! Monica Geller : Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters. Chandler Bing : Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air... Monica Geller : Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! Chandler Bing : Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I wanna see how it ends. Monica Geller : THAT'S NOT ME! Chandler Bing : What...? That's not you! Life is good again! Ride 'em cowgirl!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss Richard, a former friend of theirs who still keeps a tape of them together. Monica feels bad for him, but Chandler is jealous and teases her about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That bastard taped over me! Chandler Bing : Is that a problem? Monica Geller : I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor! Theodore : I can't imagine what he sees in her. Bitsy Hannigan : She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his. Oh, hello dear... Mike Hannigan : Hey, what's going on? Bitsy Hannigan : We were just chit-chatting. How's your friend? Mike Hannigan : A little better. Bitsy Hannigan : By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen. Theodore : You remember her Michael, she's lovely and... well behaved and... single.", "summary": "Monica gets upset when Chandler accidentally tapes over her, Bitsy criticizes her, Mike returns home, and Tom and Sue's daughter Jen moves back to town."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : I'm not interested. Bitsy Hannigan : Oh, please darling, let's be honest. You can have all the... sailor fun you want with that one, but... let's be real... Mike Hannigan : All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are... Bitsy Hannigan : Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! Mike Hannigan : So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love... Bitsy Hannigan : The woman you what? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... The woman you what? Mike Hannigan : The woman I love... I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life... Phoebe Buffay : I love you too... Mike Hannigan : You do?", "summary": "Mike confesses his love for Phoebe in front of his parents and Tom and Sue, who are dull. Bitsy criticizes Phoebe, but Mike defends her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : YEAH...! How great is this...? Mike Hannigan : Wanna get out of here? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Mike Hannigan : Mom, dad, thanks for dinner. Phoebe Buffay : I had a great time. It was really top drawer. And Here's Something Rich thirteen bathrooms in this place... I threw up in the coat closet... Ta taaa... Ross Geller : She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette. Rachel Green : So fellas. Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : fellas. Ross Geller : Yeah!", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe want to leave a dinner party, while Ross and Rachel exchange comments about each other's attractiveness."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : has your girlfriend got the butt? Ross Geller : Hell yeah! Rachel Green : So shake it! Ross Geller : Shake it! Rachel Green : Shake it! Ross Geller : Shake it! Rachel Green : Shake that nasty butt... Ross Geller : Baby got back. Rachel Green : One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... Ross Geller : Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel engage in a series of playful insults and flirtatious banter regarding their respective partners' physical attributes."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey Hon, could you help me get the plates down? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today? Monica Geller : No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over. Chandler Bing : Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint. Monica Geller : What if something gets broken, they're so expensive. Chandler Bing : What is the point of having them if we never use them? Monica Geller : Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over.. Chandler Bing : I will explain it to her. Monica Geller : Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the queen. Joey Tribbiani : wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a debate between Monica and Chandler about whether or not to use their wedding china for everyday use, with Monica being hesitant due to the expensive price tag and the risk of something getting broken. Joey interrupts with an unrelated comment about the parade."}
-{"dialogues": "Tv Announcer : Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, OK. Chandler Bing : Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! Tv Announcer : And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives . Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm. Oh! Stupid long sleeves. Chandler Bing : What are you going to do? Joey Tribbiani : I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said \"Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani.\" Like.. like I was some kind of idiot. Chandler Bing : Well you proved them wrong. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross and Rachels Apartment.", "summary": "Muskogee marching band performs, followed by a float featuring stars of the popular daytime soap \"Days of Our Lives.\" Joey Tribbiani forgets he's supposed to be on the float, leading to panic and confusion."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies. Ross Geller : A lot of people are thankful for those. Woman At Door : Hello? Rachel? Rachel Green : Who is it? Woman At Door : It's your favorite sister. Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill? Woman at door in a sing song voice: Amy. Rachel Green : Hide my rings. Rachel Green : Oh. Amy! Happy Thanksgiving. Amy Green : Do you have a hair straightener? Rachel Green : Um... hi. Amy Green : oh... hi..", "summary": "Rachel is hosting her first Thanksgiving and asks Emma what she's thankful for, to which Emma replies \"Mommy's bobbies.\" Ross chimes in with a similar response. A woman at the door surprises Rachel by announcing that it's her favorite sister, Jill, but both Rachel and Ross are shocked to see it's actually Amy at the door. Rachel quickly hides her rings and greets her long-lost sister Amy, while Amy asks for a hair straightener."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Aw. Amy Green : Hair Straightener? Rachel Green : I haven't seen you in like.. a year. Amy Green : Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed. Rachel Green : Oh well yeah me too. Um.. I had a baby. Amy Green : I decorated Dad's office. Rachel Green : Oh.. yeah? Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. Amy Green : Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house. Amy Green : Oh my God! Rachel Green : mh hmm..", "summary": "Amy needs a hair straightener for a dinner at her boyfriend's house, while Rachel has had a baby and is not impressed by Amy's excuse."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : Is this Emmett? Rachel Green : Uh.... its Emma. Amy Green : Its a girl? Ross Geller : Hey Amy. Rachel Green : Oh Amy, you remember Ross. Amy Green : Not really. But you are much cuter then that geeky guy she used to date. Ross Geller : That was me. Amy Green : No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since like the ninth grade. Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me. Amy Green : No, I'm not talking about you. It was your fat friends brother with that bad afro, do you remember? Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. All me. Monica and Chandler's Apartment. Monica Geller : Careful. Careful. CAREFUL! Sorry.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a character named Amy who is trying to remember a person from high school. Ross, a friend of Amy's, keeps mistakenly identifying himself as the person she is thinking of. Amy corrects him and mentions another person who she thinks might be the one she is looking for. The group then begins to discuss Monica and Chandler's apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out.. Monica Geller : I know, after you left the store, I chose different ones. Chandler Bing : Why? Monica Geller : well no offense honey, but your taste is a little feminine for me. Chandler Bing : Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving! Joey Tribbiani : Hey happy Thanksgiving.. Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what's going on Joe? Joey Tribbiani : I.. I.. I need a good lie. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay. How about the whole \"man walking on the moon\" thing. You know? You. you could. You could see the strings people!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are picking out china together when Chandler realizes they have picked out different sets than he remembers. Monica explains that she chose different ones because she didn't want to use his feminine-looking taste. Phoebe enters and Happy Thanksgiving, before Joey tries to come up with a lie about the moon landing."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, honey. You stink at lying. Joey Tribbiani : I do not. Phoebe Buffay : Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it? Joey Tribbiani : Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said \"Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's\" and he said.. He said.. \"Joey you stink at lying.\" What am I going to do? Phoebe Buffay : Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Sure, what.. what was the work thing? Joey Tribbiani : Uh.. Phoebe Buffay : \"Pick up grandma at the airport\"?", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani needs a good lie to explain why he wasn't at a work thing today. His friend Phoebe Buffay offers to help him practice the lie, but Joey struggles to come up with a convincing story. Meanwhile, Phoebe recounts a bizarre scenario in which a raccoon stole her muffin at a coffee house and Joey unsuccessfully tried to protect it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh.. man.. Ross and Rachel's Apartment. Amy Green : Oh she's precious. Do you ever worry she's going to get your real nose? Rachel Green : Amy! Yes I do.. I really do. Amy Green : Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. Can I take this upstairs? Ross Geller : Sure, we don't live there but... Amy Green : Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? I thought you were a doctor. Rachel Green : Yeah, no. Ross has a PhD. Amy Green : Ew. Rachel Green : God she is unbelievable. Ross Geller : I know, I mean a PhD is just as good as an MD.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel's apartment is decorated with Amy Green, who is concerned about getting Rachel's real nose."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. Amy Green : Stupid Thanksgiving. Rachel Green : What? What happened? Amy Green : My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys. Ross Geller : Don't say that. Amy Green : Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi. Rachel Green : Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private? Ross Geller : Sure, you want to go upstairs? Rachel Green : Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. Ross Geller : You know, I think thats a great idea. It'll be like the pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross discuss Thanksgiving plans, with Rachel inviting Amy despite her boyfriend canceling on her. Ross suggests it's not worth dating married guys, but Rachel wants to invite Amy anyway."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond. Ross Geller : Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. Rachel Green : Ross, you know what? She may need one..We're just going to have to make our peace with that! Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel Green : Hi. #ALL# : Hi, hey. Rachel Green : Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon. #ALL# : Hi. Amy Green : Oh my god. You're on Days of Our Lives. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Amy Green : wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you.", "summary": "Amy, Rachel's sister, visits and Rachel tries to get her and Emma (Ross and Monica's daughter) to bond despite Ross's reservations about Amy's potential criticism of Emma."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hap.. Hap.. Happy Thanksgiving. Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey you. Monica Geller : So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma? Amy Green : Yeah I.. I think so. It's nice to meet you Emma. Phoebe Buffay : Phoe-Be. Amy Green : Oh. That's a funny noise. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, I still need some help here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.", "summary": "Emma meets Amy and Phoebe while Joey tries to get help with a lie he told."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor. Phoebe Buffay : You are a terrific actor. Amy Green : Hey. Hey where's the baby? Rachel Green : Oh we just put her down for a nap. Amy Green : Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died. Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy. Amy Green : no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married. Phoebe Buffay : Thats a great movie. Amy Green : Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. Ross Geller : Emma. Amy Green : Emma, Ross wants you.", "summary": "Amy Green expresses interest in getting the baby and dying, while Phoebe and Rachel are skeptical. Ross jokingly agrees with Amy before changing his tone to sarcastically thank her. Amy then suggests changing the baby's name, and Ross suggests the name Emma."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : PHOE-BE. Amy Green : Why does she keep making that noise? Rachel Green : Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself um you wouldn't get the baby. Amy Green : Well who would? Ross Geller : Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler. Chandler Bing : I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma. Monica Geller : yeah oh my god, I'm so moved. Amy Green : I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby? Rachel Green : See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby. Amy Green : Connected? I mean.. to what? She's.. she's a lump.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their wills and who would raise their unborn child if they were to die. Monica and Chandler are considered as potential guardians, but Amy is upset at being excluded."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... Amy Green : This guy? Seriously? Later in the day. Monica Geller : Okay! It's time for dinner. Everyone we're using our fancy china.. um and its very expensive so please be careful. Ross Geller : Woah. Woah... Woah. Monica Geller : Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How come my plate's less fancy then everyone else's? Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? Monica Geller : No, honey, its. thats a special plate. See its a game, whoever gets that plate wins. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe I won. Amy Green : Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me. Rachel Green : Monica is Ross' sister.", "summary": "Monica wants to give her baby to Chandler and Joey instead of her sister Amy, who she feels doesn't deserve it. Meanwhile, Ross is injured while using a fancy plate, and Joey is upset about not getting a fancy plate like everyone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : No, Ross' sister was really fat. Monica Geller : That was me. Amy Green : No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog. Rachel Green : Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that. Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this. Monica Geller : Now see, this way you protect the plate.. and lets face it you have fun. Amy Green : Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby? Chandler Bing : No, if crazy plate lad.. If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right? Rachel Green : Well actually... Chandler Bing : Actually what? Ross Geller : well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents.", "summary": "Ross' sister was misidentified as someone else in high school, and Amy continues to confuse her with a \"dorky girl\" who followed Rachel around. Monica suggests using unique plate designs to protect them from being eaten, but Amy proposes a more drastic solution - killing everyone and taking the baby. Chandler disagrees, arguing that if Monica dies, he would get Emma. Rachel corrects him, stating that Emma would actually go to Ross' parents in this scenario."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Amy Green : Hurts, doesn't it? Joey Tribbiani : Uh.. who has to die for me to get her? Commercial Break. Chandler Bing : So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma? Ross Geller : No, that that is not what we're saying. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah he's lying. He looked down. Chandler Bing : Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you! Rachel Green : Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent. Ross Geller : Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict. Monica Geller : Thats not how you see me, is it? Phoebe while cutting a sweet potatoe in the air: No you're all about the fun.", "summary": "Chandler Bing is concerned about raising his daughter Emma after Monica and Rachel die. Joey wants to know who he needs to kill to get her. Ross tries to reassure Chandler, but Chandler becomes upset and wonders if he's incompetent. Phoebe intervenes and says that Chandler is the fun parent, while Monica is more disciplinary."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable? Ross Geller : No, you both are equally capable. Its just.. you're strongest when.. when you're together. Chandler Bing : Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die she'd have to give her up. Ross Geller : Sure, Monica would have to give her up. Joey Tribbiani : I lie better then that, right? Chandler Bing : So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me? Phoebe Buffay : There's your movie! Later on. Monica opens her front door. Chandler is sitting in the hallway. Monica Geller : Hey. There you are. You disappeared after dinner. Chandler Bing : Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly? Monica Geller : Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.", "summary": "Chandler and Ross discuss their capabilities as new fathers, with Chandler expressing uncertainty about his ability to take care of a baby. Joey enters the conversation and jokes about lying to Emma if they both died. Phoebe reveals that Monica is pregnant and will soon have a child to raise. Monica returns home and finds Chandler sitting in the hallway, causing him to joke about missing her. The group discusses the true paternity of Emma, with Monica revealing that she got pregnant after drinking a bottle of Merlot and using a five-year-old condom."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be. Monica Geller : No you learn these things. You grow into it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it. Monica Geller : I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying \"Go to your room! You're grounded\"? Monica Geller : Can you hear me say \"You're grounded\"? Chandler Bing : You said that to me last week. Monica Geller : How hard is it? No shoes on the furniture. Back to Monica and Chandler's apartment. Amy is sitting on a chair by the bay window looking mad. Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. And they all got to meet Santa! Phoebe Buffay : It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica discuss having a child, with Chandler expressing doubts about being a good father due to his flaws. Monica reassures him that he can learn and grow into the role. Joey faces consequences for missing a parade and Phoebe offers a convenient lie to cover for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, what happened? Joey all nervous and looking down and fiddling with his ear: Oh.. My sister's raccoon. Phoebe Buffay : No! Nothing with a raccoon. Joey Tribbiani : Arg... Alright, I'll take care of it. Monica and Chandler come through the front door. Monica Geller : Oh wait.. What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Setting the table. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too. Monica Geller : Oh how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler. Ross Geller : Hey dude, you okay? Sorry about before. Chandler Bing : Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey. Ross walks away with a face of yeah ok. Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. Uchh In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you. Rachel Green : UCHH!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler come home, while Joey tries to deal with a problem involving his sister's raccoon. Phoebe and Ross have a moment, and Amy is not talking to Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : You know.. this.. this is classic Rachel. Rachel Green : Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby? Amy Green : This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer. Rachel Green : What? What carrer? Amy Green : Um.. I'm a decorator. Rachel Green : Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear. Amy Green : Why can't you ever be supportive? Rachel Green : Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby. Amy Green : Oh. Yeah. Well.. You didn't come see me when I was in the hospital when I was getting my lips done. Rachel Green : I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.", "summary": "Rachel and Amy have a conversation about babies and careers. Rachel mentions that she went to the zoo and became a koala bear, while Amy is upset that Rachel didn't visit her when she was in the hospital getting lip surgery. They also discuss why Rachel is not giving Emily to Amy."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Emma. Rachel Green : Oh whose side are you on? I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child. Amy Green : How hard could it be? You do it. Joey Tribbiani : ooh oooh.. Amy Green : Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby? Rachel Green : uh huh. Amy Green : Because you don't want me to be happy. You.. you have always been jealous of me. Rachel Green : Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsiblity? You, your immaturity? Your total disregard of other people's feelings? Amy Green : Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me? Rachel Green : Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with him!", "summary": "Ross tries to give Emma to Amy, but Rachel objects, citing Amy's lack of responsibility and immaturity. Amy defends herself, highlighting Rachel's past actions, including stealing Timmy from her in junior high."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : Oh come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it. Rachel Green : I cannot, I cannot believe that I invited you here today. Amy Green : Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail. Rachel Green : ah ha ha. ah ha ha. It's forty five. Amy Green : You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute. Ross Geller : Too far, Amy. Too far. Rachel Green : You take that back. Amy Green : No. Rachel Green : Take it back! Amy Green : No! What are you going to do? Make me?", "summary": "Amy and Rachel argue over a discount at Ralph Lauren, with Amy accusing Rachel of being perfect and ungrateful."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Heey man, I work out. Amy Green : So do I. Rachel Green : I do pilates. Amy Green : I do yoga. Rachel Green : Bring it on! Monica Geller : Put the plates in the boxes!! Put the plates in the boxes! Rachel Green : Did you just push me? Amy Green : Uh, yeah I think I did. Rachel Green : Alright. Thats it! Monica Geller : Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time! Rachel starts messing up Amy's hair: Frizzy frizzy frizzy frizzy!!", "summary": "Rachel and Amy work out together and do different exercises (pilates and yoga). Monica interrupts their conversation to remind them to put plates in boxes. Rachel and Amy start pushing each other playfully, and Rachel accidentally messes up Amy's hair."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god! Shouldn't we stop this? Joey Tribbiani : What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them. Rachel Green : Ew! Gross. Chandler Bing : Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now. Amy Green : I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Mon, I'm so sorry. Chandler Bing : Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it. Amy Green : Sorry. Chandler Bing : By the way, that fight was totally arousing. Ross Geller : Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.", "summary": "* Phoebe and Joey throw jello on the others in a fight.\n* Chandler wants them to apologize to Monica for behaving poorly in her home.\n* Amy and Rachel apologize to each other and mean it.\n* Chandler says that if they die, he will take care of Emma."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Well thanks. Ross Geller : So, so now do I get Joey? Chandler Bing : Okay, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose. Rachel Green : Are you okay Mon? Monica Geller : uh huh.. I mean these things happen. Its' just a plate. Its not like somebody died. Phoebe Buffay : It's all right. You can mourn. Monica Geller : Thank you. It was so beautiful. I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies. Joey Tribbiani : Actually its not pies, its just pie. Monica Geller : I don't care. Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold. Rachel Green : Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..", "summary": "Ross tries to get Joey, but Chandler reveals that Joey eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose. Monica comforts Rachel after she breaks a plate, and Phoebe encourages her to mourn. Meanwhile, Joey corrects Monica that it's \"just pie\" and not \"pies.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : So you're going to give me the baby? Rachel Green : Uh. No.. I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount. Amy Green : You are not going to regret this. Rachel Green : She needs changing. Chandler Bing : Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet? Chandler Bing : Nope... Phoebe Buffay : Broke them all, huh? Chandler Bing : Yep... Phoebe Buffay : You gonna tell her?", "summary": "Amy wants to borrow Rachel's baby, but Rachel says no. Chandler offers to take care of the baby instead, but he's not very responsible. Phoebe breaks Monica's plates and doesn't tell her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Nope... Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time. Monica Geller : Like only if the queen comes? Chandler Bing : Maybe not even then. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : No problem! Next week: stealing... Monica Geller : Bye plates! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? Monica Geller : What? Something happened with the plates? Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... Yeah... this uhm... raccoon came in... Jo Lynn : This kitty is Mittens and this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue over whether to use a set of plates again after Joey accidentally breaks them. Phoebe teaches Joey how to lie to get out of work, but he ends up getting in trouble when he tells Monica he broke the plates."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yep. That's a lot of cats Jo Lynn. Single are ya? Chandler Bing : Chandler Bing. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. How come you're answering your own phone? Where's your crazy assistant? Chandler Bing : What's up Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, what have we always wanted to do together? Chandler Bing : Braid each other's hair and ride horseback on the beach? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no. When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . . courtside! Chandler Bing : Courtside? Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee. Chandler Bing : That's so cool. I'll let Monica know.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey plan to attend a Wizzards-Knicks game courtside, with Joey hoping Michael Jordan will dive for the ball and break his jaw with his knee."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hello? Chandler Bing : Joey just called. He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Really? But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant. If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week. Chandler Bing : But hey, it's courtside. The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr. . . That's not the way to convince you. Monica Geller : Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, \"You can't go to the game. You have to spend time with me.\" So, if you could just realize it on your own . . . Chandler Bing : I know. You're right. I want to see you too. I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know? He's really looking forward to this. Monica Geller : Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time. Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult. Tell him that what little time we have is precious. Chandler Bing : Yeah, ah, ah . . . I'll think of something. Ross Geller : Wow! Wow, You look . . . uh . . . It's just, ah . . . That dress . . . uh . . . Rachel Green : Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good.", "summary": "Chandler has courtside Knicks tickets for him and Monica but she doesn't want to go because she only gets one night off from work and they won't have time together for a week. Chandler tries to convince her but she reminds him that their time together is precious."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, well, they're good. It's been a while since I've seen you like this. You, you clean up good. Rachel Green : Oh well, well thank you. Okay, stop. Stop looking at me like that. The last time that happened, that happened. Ross Geller : Oh right, right. So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah. Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun. And thank you for watching the baby, by the way. Ross Geller : Oh, it's fine. Actually, I, I invited Mike over. Rachel Green : Phoebe's Mike? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : I didn't know you guys hung out. Ross Geller : We don't. But I thought it would be nice to get to know him. You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation. Rachel Green : Oh that's so cute: Ross and Mike's first date. Is that going to be awkward? I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?", "summary": "Ross invites Mike over for dinner in an effort to get to know him better after discovering they have similar interests. Rachel is skeptical and jokes about their \"first date\" being awkward as they don't know much about each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't know. But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know. He plays piano; I played keyboards in college. He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh. Girl's night out indeed. Rachel Green : Ok. So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . . Ross Geller : Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right? You go have fun. Rachel Green : Okay. You too. And I hope you score. Bye. Mike Hannigan : Bye. Ross Geller : So . . . Welcome.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel share similarities, such as both having been divorced and playing musical instruments in college. Phoebe joins them for a night out, and Rachel agrees to check in on Emma before leaving. Ross encourages Rachel to have fun and potentially \"score.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : I got beer. Ross Geller : I got bottled breast milk. Mike Hannigan : Eh, why don't we start with the beer? Ross Geller : Okay. So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano. Mike Hannigan : Yeah. Ross Geller : You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college. Mike Hannigan : Ah? Do you have one here? Ross Geller : No. Mike Hannigan : Okay. Ross Geller : Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced. Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?", "summary": "Mike has beer and Ross has bottled breast milk. They start with the beer. Phoebe tells Ross that Mike plays piano, but Ross used to play keyboards in college. Mike asks if Ross has a keyboard here, but Ross says no. Ross reveals that he is divorced, and Phoebe said that Mike had been divorced."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't . . . I don't really like to talk about it. Ross Geller : That's okay. We'll talk about something else. Mike Hannigan : So, you're a paleontologist, right? Ross Geller : Yeah. Mike Hannigan : My cousin's a paleontologist. Ross Geller : Ah? Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God. Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross? Rachel Green : Oh God. It seems like forever ago. Phoebe Buffay : I know. So, what's going on with you and Ross? Rachel Green : Well, um . . . I don't know. I mean, for a long time nothing. But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.", "summary": "Mike Hannigan doesn't want to talk about something, Ross Geller is a paleontologist, Phoebe Buffay brings up old times with Rachel Green, and Rachel reveals that she and Ross had a recent encounter before their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I love things. What happened? Rachel Green : Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked. And, ah, then we had a little . . . um . . . eye-contact. Phoebe Buffay : Eye-contact? Rachel Green : Mm-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : I hope you were using protection. Waiter : Excuse me. Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar. Rachel Green : Oh. Should we send them something back? Phoebe Buffay : Oooh. Let's do. Let's send them mashed potatoes. Rachel Green : No! Wait! No, no. Don't do that! That's going to make them think they can come over here. Phoebe Buffay : So? What if they do?", "summary": "Plot Summary: A romantic connection develops between two women at a bar after they share eye contact and flirtation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, we're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen. We're just having fun. You know, not everything had to go as far as \"eye-contact.\" Monica Geller : Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa. Chandler Bing : Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? I heard it. Monica Geller : I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair. Chandler Bing : All right. I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape. Monica Geller : Yes, because all good plans start with, \"I'll go down the fire escape.\" Chandler Bing : Hear me out woman. I'll go down the fire escape. Then, I'll wait for a while. Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa. Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here. Monica Geller : Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out? I heard it. Chandler Bing : I'm just going to wait for a little while.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe are not there to meet guys, but they end up flirting with each other. Monica interrupts their conversation to tell Chandler that he needs to let Joey know he's not in Tulsa. Chandler comes up with a plan to deceive Joey by going down the fire escape and pretending to be away for a while, then reentering the apartment without any guys present. However, Monica doubts the plan's success and questions Chandler's motives."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Scary pigeon's back? Chandler Bing : It's huge. Rachel Green : Oh my God. I can't believe you live in that building. My grandmother lives in that building. Ida Green? No sense of personal space? Kind of smells like chicken? Looks like a potato. Bill : \"Spuds\" is your grandmother? Rachel Green : That's my bubby! Kevin : So, we're on our way to a couple of parties. Um. . . maybe we can get your numbers and give you guys a call if we find something fun. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. . . I'm sorry. We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys. I, I have a boyfriend. Kevin : All right. It's no big deal. Bill : So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? Rachel Green : Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend. But um. . .", "summary": "Monica and Chandler encounter a large pigeon in their building, while Rachel reveals that her grandmother lives there. Phoebe and Kevin are on their way to parties but don't have any plans with them. Meanwhile, Monica and Rachel discuss their personal lives, with Monica revealing that she doesn't actually have a boyfriend."}
-{"dialogues": "Bill : Then, can I have your number? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, no. Bill : Okay. Rachel Green : Oh sure. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you're giving your real number. Bill : Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. Rachel Green : Great. Bill : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Bye. Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking? Rachel Green : I don't know. He was cute, and he liked me. It was an impulse.", "summary": "Bill asks Rachel for her number, but she declines. Bill then gets Rachel's number from Phoebe, but Rachel later regrets giving it to him after realizing she was being impulsive."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What about Ross? What about your moment? Don't you want to talk to Ross about it? Rachel Green : No. No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go. \"Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before.\" Rachel Green : \"Yeah.\" \"Me too.\" Rachel Green : \"Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it.\" Rachel Green : \"Yeah.\" \"Me neither.\" Rachel Green : \"Well, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we're really feeling?\" Rachel Green : \"Yeah. That works for me.\" Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I see what you mean. By the way, nice Ross imitation. Rachel Green : Oh, thanks. Phoebe Buffay : But, your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their feelings for each other, but decide not to act on them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wha. . . hey! Phoebe Buffay : Better! Rachel Green : Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know? I should just . . . move on with my life. Phoebe Buffay : Really? You're moving on from Ross? Rachel Green : I don't know. Do I have to decide right now? Phoebe Buffay : Well, you kind of just did. That guy is going to call you tonight. Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message. Rachel Green : Oh God, Ross. Ross is going to pick up the phone. Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh my God. He's gone. Phoebe Buffay : \"Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh my God. He's gone.\" Dead on. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! That didn't take long. I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight. Chandler Bing : Well, you're forgetting about the time difference.", "summary": "Rachel Green considers moving on from her unresolved feelings for Ross, but changes her mind when she receives a call from him. Phoebe Buffay advises Rachel to embrace the situation and move forward. Joey Tribbiani interjects with a humorous comment about the distance between Tulsa and New York City. Chandler Bing chimes in with a reminder about the time difference."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler! You're home! Chandler Bing : That's right. You're husband's home. So, now the sex can stop. Monica Geller : What are you saying? Chandler Bing : Joey said that you're in here with another man. Monica Geller : There's no man in here. How dare you accuse me of that. Joey Tribbiani : All right. All right. Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh? Bwa-ah-ah! Chandler Bing : What is he doing? Monica Geller : I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy. Joey Tribbiani : Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows. Chandler Bing : All right. Well, I'll check the guest room.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue about her bringing another man home while Chandler accuses Joey of making a similar move in their bedroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Why do I smell men's cologne? Monica Geller : I think that's you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier. Chandler Bing : There's nobody here Joe. Joey Tribbiani : I guess not. Monica Geller : I can't believe you thought I was cheating. You own me an apology. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, right Monica. I'm so sorry. Monica Geller : Ah, it's an honest mistake. It could happen to anyone. All right, see ya. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here? Chandler Bing : I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?", "summary": "Joey rubs a magazine on himself, causing Monica to think he's been cheating. Joey apologizes, but Monica forgives him. Chandler reveals he climbed down the fire escape with his suitcase and wonders why it couldn't be put in the closet."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing. Fascinating isn't it. Ross Geller : Maybe you should look up \"fascinating.\" Mike Hannigan : I'll get it. Hello? Ross's place. Mike speaking. It's for you. Ross Geller : I don't understand what just happened here. Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . . I didn't think you'd understand. Joey Tribbiani : What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife? Huh? Do you think I'm like, \"Duh.\" Monica Geller : Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Monica Geller : I don't know what to say. We shouldn't have lied to you.", "summary": "Beer and ale are similar except for fermentation. Mike says he'll look up the word \"fascinating.\" Ross talks to an unknown person on the phone, but can't understand what happened. Joey and Chandler discuss Monica and Tulsa, with Chandler admitting he didn't think Joey would understand."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. I feel so bad. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't. But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. That's the one thing I can't do. I promised I'd be with Monica. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Monica Geller : You can go. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : You should go to the game. It's okay. I want you to. Chandler Bing : Really? You're gonna be okay? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'll be fine. You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction. Chandler Bing : You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?", "summary": "Chandler promised to attend a game with Joey but then lied and gave him a bump on the head. Monica encourages Chandler to go to the game instead, and Chandler agrees despite his initial reluctance."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's gonna be so hot! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye. Monica Geller : Have fun. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Here's your ticket. Chandler Bing : Hey, listen. I'm never going to lie to you again, okay? And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man. Joey Tribbiani : Where are you going? Chandler Bing : Game's tomorrow night Joe. Ross Geller : Hey you guys. Mike Hannigan : Hey.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are discussing the heat, with Chandler expressing his reluctance to attend a game the following night. Joey thanks Chandler for the ticket and Chandler reassures Monica that she's not stupid. In a separate conversation, Joey tells Mike where he is going, and Ross joins in to greet them."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey. I'll be right back. I've got to go to the bathroom. Mike Hannigan : Stout. That's a kind of beer. Phoebe Buffay : ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, \"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!\" Joey Tribbiani : Wow, that was great! You really wrote that? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa. Monica Geller : I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas. Ross Geller : You're really not coming back? Chandler Bing : Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired. Monica Geller : It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!", "summary": "Phoebe goes to the bathroom, Mike mentions a type of beer, Joey is impressed, Chandler leaves for Tulsa, Monica is upset that he won't be there for Christmas, and Ross confirms that Chandler won't be returning."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So, who does? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I like my job. Joey Tribbiani : I *love* my job. Rachel Green : Yeah, I can't *wait* to go back to work. Ross Geller : I can't get *enough* dinosaurs! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I won't be here. Monica Geller : It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand. Chandler Bing : Thanks. I'll see you New Year's Day. Monica Geller : You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve?? Chandler Bing : Did I not mention that?", "summary": "Ross loves dinosaurs, Joey loves his job, Phoebe enjoys her job, Rachel can't wait to go back to work, and Monica struggles with Chandler being away during the holidays."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No! Chandler Bing : AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! *Opening Credits* Chandler Bing : All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call for writing \"Screw you, Mr. Bing!\" on the back of my chair! -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler. Wendy : Hey! Others : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Where've you been? Wendy : I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. Chandler Bing : You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here. Claudia : My kid's in a play right now. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.", "summary": "Chandler Bing tries to stop Wendy from writing an insult on his chair during a Christmas party at the office. Meanwhile, Claudia discusses her child's play with Chandler, who promises a Christmas bonus for the hardworking staff in New York."}
-{"dialogues": "Ken : \"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet\". Chandler Bing : Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks! Wendy : *Now* it feels like Christmas. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to. Ken : You can come to my house! Chandler Bing : Haha, no thanks! Wendy : That was a nice pep-talk. Chandler Bing : Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker. Wendy : So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing? Chandler Bing : Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...", "summary": "A donation was made to the New York City Ballet in someone's name. Chandler feels upset and unenthusiastic about the situation, expressing frustration at being away from home during the holidays. Ken offers for Chandler to join him at his house for Christmas, but Chandler declines. Wendy tries to cheer Chandler up with a pep talk, but he considers becoming a motivational speaker instead. When asked what he would be doing if he were home, Chandler mentions doing traditional holiday activities."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. \"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along. Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!\" Happy holidays, everybody! Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet. Chandler Bing : I can save you time ladies, I'm right here. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you. Rachel Green : We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica. Chandler Bing : What? That's terrible! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, we do it every year! Chandler Bing : Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible. Phoebe Buffay : No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx. Rachel Green : Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are searching for Christmas presents that Monica hid around the apartment. Chandler joins in the search, but Phoebe tries to exclude him. Meanwhile, Rachel and Ross exchange holiday greetings."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, we have to! Chandler Bing : No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too. Phoebe Buffay : Well then, you should look with us. Chandler Bing : Why? Rachel Green : Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas? Chandler Bing : No, I have a great idea for a present for her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's it? A great idea! Oh yeah. Rachel Green : Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why? Chandler Bing : If I help, we can find 'em faster!", "summary": "Chandler wants to surprise Monica with a thoughtful Christmas gift, but Phoebe and Rachel insist on helping him find the perfect present."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : That's right! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh ooh, we have a live one! Rachel Green : Oh, it's a Macy's bag! Rachel Green : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, who's it for? Rachel Green : \"Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you.\" Joey Tribbiani : Rach, these are for you. Rachel Green : Wiper blades. I don't even have a car. Joey Tribbiani : No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do. Chandler Bing : OK, Pheebs, your turn.", "summary": "Rachel receives a gift from Joey and Phoebe, who are trying to hide it under the couch. Rachel suspects they are gifts for her and reads their note, which includes a joke about Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas? Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : You guuuyys. Joey Tribbiani : And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth. Ross Geller : You got me a cola drink? Chandler Bing : And, a lemon lime. Ross Geller : Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater. Chandler Bing : And last but not least. Joey Tribbiani : They're ribbed for *your* pleasure. Ross Geller : Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang is at a gas station and Joey is making toilet seat covers. Ross buys Chandler and Joey drinks, while Ross tells Ben about the Festival of Lights."}
-{"dialogues": "Ben Geller : Cool! Ross Geller : Yeah! Monica Geller : Come on Ben. Ross Geller : Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees... Chandler Bing : Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Ben Geller : Santa! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : What are you doing here, Santa? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man? Ross Geller : I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?", "summary": "The Maccabees were people years ago. Santa Claus visits the apartment and Chandler Bing is there. Ross Geller is the Holiday Armadillo and brings gifts for Ben Geller."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say. Ross Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work! Ross Geller : Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave. Chandler Bing : Why? Ross Geller : Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it. Chandler Bing : But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly. Ross Geller : I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me. Chandler Bing : Fine, I'll give the suit back.", "summary": "Chandler borrows a Santa costume from a coworker and wears it to a Hanukkah party hosted by Ross, but Ross is excited about Hanukkah and Chandler's presence is disrupting his enthusiasm."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? Chandler Bing : Santa? Really? Monica Geller : Yeah, is that okay? Chandler Bing : Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Then it's okaaay! Chandler Bing : You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve. Chandler Bing : Did I not tell *anyone* about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go. Chandler Bing : Good, God's speed, good people! You're not gonna go? Wendy : Naah... I couldn't leave you alone.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler dresses up as Santa for a party and Monica's dad never did it. They argue about it and Chandler decides to send everyone home early on New Year's Eve."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ah. Thanks. Wendy : Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham. Chandler Bing : Ah. Chandler Bing. Monica Geller : Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas. Others : Merry Christmas! Phoebe Buffay : Ble-blah-blar Blargh! Chandler Bing : Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys! Monica Geller : So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard? Chandler Bing : Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy. Monica Geller : Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name.", "summary": "Monica and the gang are at Christmas party when they encounter an irate group of insurance people looking for a missing ham. Chandler and Wendy are also present, and Monica asks if everyone is working hard during the holiday season."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It is. Did I... not tell you about her? Monica Geller : Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else? Chandler Bing : I sent them home. Monica Geller : Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty? Chandler Bing : Uhh, uh... Ross Geller : Answer faster, answer faster! Chandler Bing : I don't know! Ross Geller : Answer better, answer better! Chandler Bing : I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague. Monica Geller : What does she do there?", "summary": "Chandler sent home the rest of the staff and only told Monica about his new colleague because he thought she would understand. He doesn't think of her as pretty or in a romantic way, but rather as a coworker."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me. Monica Geller : She did WHAT? Chandler Bing : BE-LOW me! Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma? Monica Geller : *What*?? Chandler Bing : Well, she... she didn't win... Monica Geller : Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work. Chandler Bing : Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably... Rachel Green : Oh Chandler, stop talking! Chandler Bing : Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a woman named Wendy who is the regional Vice President and is below Chandler in the hierarchy. Monica expresses surprise at this development, and Joey jokes that Wendy might be the runner-up Miss Oklahoma. Chandler clarifies that Wendy did not win any awards, and Monica moves on to let them get back to work. Rachel interrupts Chandler's attempts to downplay the situation, and he continues to talk about Wendy's beauty."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : I'm serious! Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Merry Christmas. Monica Geller : Merry Christmas. Chandler Bing : Merry Christmas, you guys! Others : Yeah, Merry... Christmas. Phoebe Buffay : Blah blargah, blar-blab. Chandler Bing : The wife says \"Hi!\". Wendy : Ah. Fun conversation?", "summary": "Chandler wants to tell Monica and others something serious, but Monica interrupts with a cheerful \"Okay!\" Chandler then says \"Merry Christmas,\" followed by a group of people saying \"Merry Christmas\" in response. Phoebe mutters something unintelligible, and Wendy enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen. Wendy : Huh? Really? -- Hm, that'd be so terrible? Chandler Bing : This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie. Chandler Bing : Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! Wendy : ...Missy? Chandler Bing : I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma? Wendy : You are to me... Chandler Bing : No,... no... NO! Look, I'm, I'm married! Wendy : So? I'm married. Chandler Bing : I'm *happily* married.", "summary": "Chandler and Wendy are alone together and Wendy has a strange idea that something might happen between them. Chandler is uncomfortable with the situation and tries to distance himself, accidentally getting ham on his tie. Wendy mistakes him for being flirtatious and Chandler clarifies that he is married."}
-{"dialogues": "Wendy : Oh. - What's *that* like? Chandler Bing : Right. So, I'm sorry... Wendy : Seriously? Happily married. So that phone call before, that was ... happy? Chandler Bing : Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us. Wendy : Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me? Chandler Bing : I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight! Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out? Monica Geller : Well, not anymore. Chandler Bing : But we don't do that.", "summary": "Chandler and Wendy have a conversation about his marriage to Monica, with Chandler expressing his love for her but also acknowledging the challenges of being apart. They share a moment of attraction towards each other before Monica interrupts and reveals that they were just making out."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know, I just thought it would be fun. Chandler Bing : How drunk are you? Monica Geller : Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage. Chandler Bing : That's the perfect amount! Monica Geller : Okay! Monica Geller : Y'know what's weird? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : This doesn't feel weird! Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : You're a really good kisser.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler share a kiss after getting drunk together."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, I have kissed over four women. Do you wanna get under the covers? Monica Geller : Hm-hmm! Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Wow! You are really fast! Chandler Bing : It bodes well for me that speed impresses you. Monica Geller : We're gonna see each other naked. Chandler Bing : Yep! Monica Geller : Do you wanna do it at the same time? Chandler Bing : Count of three? Monica Geller : One!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica engage in a flirtatious conversation, with Chandler revealing that he has kissed four women and inviting Monica to join him under the covers. Monica agrees and they plan to see each other naked. However, their plans are interrupted when they decide to do it at the same time."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Two! Monica Geller : Two! Chandler Bing : Three! Chandler Bing : Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined. Monica Geller : Eh, we weren't that close anyway! Chandler Bing : Eh! Chandler Bing : So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man? Monica Geller : Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this. Monica Geller : I think you're better than you think you are.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue over their friendship and a potential relationship with a nurse. They both express their doubts and frustrations, but ultimately reconcile and reaffirm their care for each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Really? Okay, so... Monica Geller : Know when to stop. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay? Monica Geller : Yeah. Don't do the dance. Chandler Bing : Right! Monica Geller : I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Chandler Bing : Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new. Monica Geller : You're so efficient. I love you! Chandler Bing : Let's go! Monica Geller : No-no-no, wait! We need something old!", "summary": "Monica wants to get married and needs something old, new, borrowed, and blue. Chandler offers something blue and new, but Monica insists they must find something old first."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve. Monica Geller : That'll work! Chandler Bing : I don't think so. Monica Geller : Okay, now we just need something borrowed! Chandler Bing : Here just...take this. Monica Geller : That's stealing! Chandler Bing : No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress. Monica Geller : Ohh. Chandler Bing : Okay, one thing at a time. Monica Geller : Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler get married despite having no money."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ehh. Monica Geller : Eh, you work for that. Chandler Bing : Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding. Monica Geller : You do?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do. Monica Geller : Oh, you're so sweet. Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff? Chandler Bing : Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college. Monica Geller : You thought about that? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : How many kids were we gonna have?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss their upcoming wedding and disagree on how to spend the money. Chandler wants to splurge on a perfect wedding, while Monica is more practical and worried about the future and having children."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy. Monica Geller : What else did you think about? Chandler Bing : Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old. Monica Geller : Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding. Chandler Bing : Sure you do. Monica Geller : No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage. Chandler Bing : You sure? Monica Geller : Uh-hmm. Chandler Bing : I love you so much. Monica Geller : I love you.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Monica plan their future together, discussing where they would live with their children, a small house outside the city, and an apartment over the garage for Joey to grow old. Monica reveals she doesn't want a big wedding and instead wants everything that Chandler mentioned, including having children and getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oohh, I love it! Ross Geller : Really? You're not gonna return it? Rachel Green : Well, not this second! Phoebe Buffay : Hey look, you guys, it's snowing! Rachel Green : Oh wow, it's so beautiful... Ross Geller : Wow, it really is! Monica Geller : \"Wendy\" is a fat girl name. Phoebe Buffay : Aren't we done with that? Monica Geller : Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine? Chandler Bing : Hey!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over a coat, while Phoebe notices snow falling outside. Monica makes a comment about a \"fat girl\" name, and Chandler interrupts with a joke."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my god... Joey Tribbiani : Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle! Monica Geller : What are you doing here? Chandler Bing : I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most? Chandler Bing : Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Got ya. Chandler Bing : I never want to leave you again! Monica Geller : But I thought if you left, you get fired. Chandler Bing : Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.", "summary": "Chandler quits his job and wants to be with Monica, but she is worried he will get fired."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : What, you, you really quit your job? Chandler Bing : Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do? Rachel Green : What do you really want to do? Chandler Bing : I have *not* thought this through! Monica Geller : Oh my god! Chandler Bing : I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it. Monica Geller : No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great! Chandler Bing : Thanks! Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.", "summary": "Chandler quits his job and wants to pursue his true passion, but he hasn't thought it through and feels uncertain about what to do next. His friends support him and encourage him to follow his dreams."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ahh... Phoebe Buffay : Now give me my real gift. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Here, pass these, will ya.. Ross Geller : Oh, hey... Ross Geller : \"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet.\" -- How did you know? Rachel Green : Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this. Chandler Bing : I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Mine's is to Lilian Myers. Chandler Bing : I don't have a *job*! *Closing Credits*", "summary": "Chandler gives gifts to his friends as a gesture of appreciation and love. Rachel reveals that she cannot return her gift, while Joey gives his gift to someone named Lilian Myers."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man! Monica Geller : You are! Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow? Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant. Chandler Bing : I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. Monica Geller : Well, I just lost my erection. Chandler Bing : I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself? Monica Geller : You're supposed to find your passion in life. You can be whatever you wanna be now. It's exciting. Chandler Bing : But it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start. Monica Geller : Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files!", "summary": "Chandler realizes Monica is the sole breadwinner and head of the household. Monica offers to buy him something pretty while she's at work the next day. Chandler is unemployed and feels lost about his future. Monica encourages him to find his passion in life and offers to help him organize his job search."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off! Monica Geller : I know!!! My erection is back! Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Phoebe Thank you. Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : : Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, it's just, I'm a little short on cash. Joey Tribbiani : If you want I could loan you some money? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show?", "summary": "Monica Geller has a restored erection. Phoebe Buffay asks for a sip of Joey Tribbiani's coffee and a bite of his muffin. Joey Tribbiani agrees. Joey Tribbiani offers to loan Phoebe Buffay money, but she declines, citing past experiences with borrowing from friends. Richard Dreyfuss is mentioned as someone Phoebe doesn't speak to anymore due to a debt owed. Finally, Joey proposes the idea of Phoebe being an extra on his show."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You could do that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. The pay is pretty good and you could do it for as long as you need. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god, I'm gonna be on TV! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, now. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, really? Joey Tribbiani : No it is awesome! Ross Geller : Hi guys. #ALL# :  Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up? Ross Geller : Rachel and I are bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone. Doesn't she look cute?", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey discuss a possible job opportunity on TV, but Joey warns that it may not be as exciting as Phoebe thinks. Ross joins them and reveals he is taking Emma to a meeting at Ralph Lauren."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : She sure does. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head? Rachel Green : Well, because if one more person says \"what a cute little boy\" I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna! Ross Geller : I think she's gonna be the hit of the office, huh? She's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow? Monica Geller : Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision. Chandler Bing : How long was I in there? Monica Geller : Okay. Let us start with the A's. Advertising. Chandler Bing : Wait. Advertising! That's a great idea! Monica Geller : Don't you want to look through the rest? Chandler Bing : I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense. Sorry you had to waste all this time, though. Monica Geller : You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Ooh, now I get to use my shredder!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue about a coworker's pink bow, while Chandler accidentally overhears their conversation. Monica provides career guidance for Ross using label makers and folders, but Chandler interrupts and suggests advertising as a potential field of interest."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I mean, I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be, right? \"Cheese. It's milk that you chew.\" \"Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy.\" \"A grape. Because who can get a water melon in your mouth?\" Monica Geller : I got one. \"Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best.\" Chandler Bing : Honey? Leave it to the pros. Monica Geller : I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you? Give me the phone. Chandler Bing : \"The phone. Bringing you closer to people...who have phones.\" Monica Geller : \"Marriage. It's not for everybody.\" Rachel Green : That went well. Almost everybody knew that she was a girl. Ross Geller : Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread. Rachel Green : I'm just gonna go in my office and pick up some stuff . Who the hell are you!? Guy : Who the hell are you?", "summary": "Monica introduces Chandler to a guy she grew up with who works in advertising. Chandler tries to impress him with his slogans, but Monica's friend is not impressed. Rachel enters and overhears the conversation before Chandler makes a joke about phones bringing people closer together. The group continues to chat before a stranger enters and mistakes Rachel for a woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm the hell person whose office this is! Ross Geller : Good one, Rach. Guy : I'm Gavin Mitchell, the person who's taken over your job. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Gavin Mitchell : Oh, your baby's so cute. Why did you put a pink bow on a boy? Phoebe Buffay : Joey, look at me! I'm a nurse! Joey Tribbiani : Yes you are. I think it may be time for my sponge bath. Sorry, I'm just so used to hitting on the extras. So, are you excited about your scene? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! But I'm a little shaky and nervous. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, relax. Don't be. You'll be fine, you'll be fine. They'll probably just make you stand in the back. Director : Okay, okay, okay! You. Here, come here, here. You're gonna take this tray, you're gonna stay on this yellow mark. You're gonna move on \"action!\" You're gonna walk over to the operating table. You're gonna stop on that blue mark, you're gonna put the tray down. Don't walk too fast! But don't doddle.", "summary": "Rachel discovers someone in her office, Gavin Mitchell, who has taken over her job. Phoebe becomes a nurse for Joey during a scene, but is nervous about it. The director gives instructions to the actors on what they need to do during their scene."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now. What? Director : And...Action!! Director : Cut! Cut! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous. Director : Well, don't be. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, that helps. Director : And...Action! Director : Cut! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know what? Don't worry, Pheebs! It usually takes me three takes too! Alright, eight. Director : And...Action!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Joey Tribbiani are actors filming a scene for a movie. Phoebe is nervous and makes mistakes during the take, causing the director to cut the scene. Joey tries to reassure her and offers his own experience with taking multiple takes to get it right."}
-{"dialogues": "Interviewer : So, do you have any other question about advertising? Chandler Bing : No, no. But let me show you what I can do. \"Bagels and donuts. Round food for every mood.\" Interviewer : Monica warned me you might do that. I actually think we might have something for you at the agency. Chandler Bing : Really? That's great! Interviewer : It's an unpaid internship. Chandler Bing : It's funny. When you said \"unpaid\" it sounded like you said \"unpaid.\" Interviewer : Come on now. Monica has a good job. And it's not like you have a family to support. Chandler Bing : Actually, we're trying, and I don't think Monica's gonna wanna postpone it. We're supposed to have sex tonight. Actually, she's probably at home naked right now. I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me. I can just picture her on the bed right now. Interviewer : Stop! Interviewer : Okay.", "summary": "Chandler Bing shows off his advertising skills with a clever slogan, but when he learns that the job opportunity at the agency is unpaid, he becomes disappointed and starts to daydream about Monica, who is supposed to have sex with him that night."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wait a minute! What do you mean, you're taking over my job? Gavin Mitchell : Well, while you were on your baby vacation I was doing your job. Rachel Green : A vacation? My idea of a vacation does not involve something sucking on my nipples until they are raw. Gavin Mitchell : Clearly you've never been to Sandles Paradise Island. Rachel Green : Alright! Don't get too comfortable there, because I'm back in two weeks! And I want everything back to the way it was. I can't say that I care too much for the way you've rearranged my office. Gavin Mitchell : I can't say I care too much for that smell you've brought in with you. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Ross Geller : Rach we have a code brown situation. Rachel Green : Can you please, please take care of it for me? Ross Geller : Alright, but you have to do one sometime.", "summary": "Rachel returns from her baby vacation to find that Gavin has taken over her job and rearranged her office. She is upset and demands everything be returned to normal. Gavin replies by making a comment about Rachel's smell. Ross intervenes with a code brown situation, and Rachel requests that Ross take care of it for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Let me just get this straight! So I go have a baby and they send some guy in to do my job? Gavin Mitchell : Well, there was talk of shutting down Ralph Lauren all together. Rachel Green : That's right. You're very cheeky for a temp. Gavin Mitchell : I'm not a temp. I was transferred here from another department. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, what department was that? The Jerk department? Gavin Mitchell : Oh, they didn't tell me about your quick wit. Rachel Green : Did they mention that I'm rubber and you're glue? Mr. Zelner : Gavin, Ralph loved your ideas. Rachel Green : Oh, hi Mr. Zelner. Mr. Zelner : Rachel, I see you've met Gavin. I must say, when you left us we weren't sure what we were gonna do. But then, Gavin to the rescue. Super Gavin!", "summary": "Rachel Green goes on maternity leave and returns to find that her job has been taken over by a new employee, Gavin Mitchell. Despite initial reservations, they begin to work together and Rachel learns that Gavin was transferred from another department. The two of them clash, but ultimately come to appreciate each other's perspectives."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : That's great. So now, Super Gavin, when I come back where are you planning on flying off to? Gavin Mitchell : Well, that's up to Mr. Zelner. I'm sure he will make the right decision. Rachel Green : Oh, wow. Super ass-kissing power. Mr. Zelner : Incidentally, when are you coming back? Rachel Green : Today. Gavin Mitchell : You said two weeks. Rachel Green : No, I said today! See, for a superhero, not so much with the listening. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. So, what did he say? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he can be a little rough around the edges, so I'm gonna replace a word he used a lot, with the word \"puppy.\" Okay, So He Said \"If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together, I'm gonna fire her mother-puppy ass.\"", "summary": "Super Gavin is planning to fly off with Mr. Zelner's decision, while Rachel returns today and gets frustrated with Super Gavin's lack of listening skills. Joey tries to help by replacing words with puppy-related terms, but things get confusing quickly."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'm not an actor. Joey Tribbiani : That's right, you're not. You're a nurse. You're Nurse With Tray. Phoebe Buffay : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : No, no. Nurse With Tray doesn't know Joey, she doesn't have time for friends. She gets in that operating room and she carries that tray to the doctor, because if she doesn't, people die! Phoebe Buffay : Who dies? Joey Tribbiani : Man With Eye Patch! You get in there and you do your job. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, doctor. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Director : Okay, let's try this one more time. Phoebe Buffay : Hang in there, Man With Eye Patch, your tray is coming!", "summary": "Nurse With Tray (Phoebe) struggles to balance her job and personal life, particularly when Joey, a friend she doesn't have time for, tries to get in the way. Despite their differences, Nurse With Tray remains determined to do her job well and save Man With Eye Patch from harm."}
-{"dialogues": "Director : And...Action! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I did it!!! I nailed it!!! Yay! What's next? Director : The rest of the scene. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, from the top, people! Rachel Green : Listen. Sudden change of plans. My maternity leave just ended. They told me that if I didn't come back today, they were gonna fire me. Ross Geller : What? No, that's illegal. I'm gonna have the labor department down her so fast they won't even... Rachel Green : Alright, alright. Calm down Norma Rae. They didn't actually say that. I'm just afraid if I don't come back right now this guy's gonna try to squeeze me out. Ross Geller : What about Emma? We don't have a nanny. Rachel Green : I know. You know, we're just gonna have to figure out a plan tonight. Can you please just take care of her for today? Ross Geller : Absolutely. Just give me your breast and we'll be on our way.", "summary": "Rachel Green's maternity leave ends abruptly when her employer threatens to fire her if she doesn't return to work immediately. Ross Geller offers to watch her child while she tries to figure out a plan."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Come on, I don't know what else to do. Ross Geller : Fine, fine. We'll have fun, won't we? Yes, we will, yes we will. Rachel Green : Ross? Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : You're pretty. Chandler Bing : Whatever I decide to do, I'm gonna be starting a career from scratch. It's gonna be a while before I make a living at it. Maybe now is not the right time to be starting a family. Ross Geller : So you have to tell Monica you don't want to have a baby right now? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Good-bye. Monica Geller : Okay, it's baby time. Pants off Bing. Didn't see you there Geller.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have fun despite their issues, Chandler decides to start a career from scratch, and Monica wants to have a baby but Chandler doesn't want to right now."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah, Ross is here so... Ross Geller : Yeah, and I was really hoping that I could hang out. What do you feel like doing? Monica Geller : We're gonna have sex. Ross Geller : I don't feel like having sex. Maybe we can watch a movie or something. Monica Geller : Let me put it this way. We're having sex whether you're here or not. Ross Geller : Pants off Bing! Rachel Green : Alright. Now that I'm back, why don't you just fill me in on what you've been up to? Gavin Mitchell : Well, I've changed your screensaver from that picture of *Nsync. Rachel Green : Hey, they were popular when I left! Gavin Mitchell : Also, I've just been working on this big presentation for tomorrow.", "summary": "Ross and Monica want to have sex, but Ross is not interested. Rachel returns from her trip and wants to know what has been happening while she was away. Gavin has changed the screensaver and is working on a presentation for tomorrow."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I should be involved in that, so why don't you get me up to speed? Gavin Mitchell : That's gonna take weeks. Why don't just let me take care of the presentation? Rachel Green : Oh, no no no no. I see what you're doing here, alright, listen, this is my job buddy. Okay, I've had it for five years, and I know how it works, so why don't you just catch me up! Gavin Mitchell : Fine. Rachel Green : Oh god. You've totally messed with the back support of my chair. How do you fix this? Gavin Mitchell : Hey, you've been here five years, you figure it out. Rachel Green : Fine, I will. Alright, fill me in! Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : You have a blue tie that would go with this? Emma spit up on mine.", "summary": "Rachel wants to be involved in a project at work but is told it will take weeks to get her up to speed. She insists on taking care of the presentation herself and Gavin agrees, but only after Rachel complains about the back support of her chair. Chandler mentions that Emma spit up on his tie, which Ross has a blue one that would go well with it."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. But you have to give it back if I get a job. Of course, by that time in the future ties will be obsolete and we'll all be wearing silver jump suits. Monica Geller : Hi, good morning lover. I gotta say after last night, I'm a little weak in the knees. Ross Geller : Here's an idea. You walk into a room...take a quick scan! Monica Geller : Sorry. But I kind of have this feeling that we may have made a baby last night. Chandler Bing : Oh god, I have to tell you something. You're not pregnant. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Chandler Bing : That thing that I have to do to make a baby. I faked it. Monica Geller : What!? You faked it? Ross Geller : You know what? I don't need a tie. I mean, it's better, open collar. You know, it's more casual. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, listen. I can't do this, it doesn't make any sense. Yesterday I was a nurse, and today I'm a waitress at a cafe?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss their previous night together, with Monica expressing her uncertainty about whether or not she might be pregnant. Chandler reveals that he faked the act of making a baby to appease Monica. Meanwhile, Ross advocates for an open collar over ties, and Phoebe struggles to reconcile her conflicting identities as a nurse and cafe waitress."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It's okay. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse. And now suddenly I'm the waitress? That's gonna confuse my fans. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you are a nurse, but you moonlight as a waitress. Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh. Because I'm a single mother, supporting my two children. Joey Tribbiani : Nice. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute. Dr. Drake Ramoray and I work at the same hospital. Wouldn't I come over to say hi to him? Joey Tribbiani : No, no. See, you and Drake are having a fight. Phoebe Buffay : About what? Joey Tribbiani : He slept with you and then never called you. Phoebe Buffay : And I just wanted a new daddy for Davy and Becky.", "summary": "* Phoebe is upset because she was a memorable nurse on a previous episode but is now being recast as a waitress without explanation.\n* Joey suggests that maybe Phoebe moonlights as a waitress while still being a nurse.\n* Phoebe reveals that she is a single mother supporting her two children and works at the same hospital as Dr. Drake Ramoray.\n* Joey says that Phoebe and Dr. Ramoray are having a fight because he slept with her and never called her.\n* Phoebe explains that she wanted a new father figure for her children, Davy and Becky."}
-{"dialogues": "Director : Okay, okay, from the top. And...Action! Man : So, I'm surprised you agreed to have lunch with me. Dr. Drake Ramoray : I'm surprised to, but yet here I am. Director : Cut, cut! What are you doing!? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, I'm very angry at him, because he slept with me and never called me back. Extra : Me too! Another Extra : Me too! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, calm down! She means on the show! We need some new extras around here! Gavin Mitchell : Wow, you're here already. Rachel Green : Yes. Emma and I came in a little early to do research on the presentation. I actually made a few changes, but I think I'm caught up on everything. So ask me anything!", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey argue over a man who slept with Phoebe and never called her back. The director interrupts them to start filming a scene. Emma and Rachel arrive early to do research for their presentation."}
-{"dialogues": "Gavin Mitchell : How do you fix the chair? Rachel Green : Except that! Oh, hello, Mr. Zelner. We're all ready for our presentation this afternoon. Mr. Zelner : Good, because it's in ten minutes. Rachel Green : What? I can't do that! I have the baby, and Ross is not gonna pick her up for another hour. Mr. Zelner : Well, then Gavin can give the presentation, okay, we have to do it now. Ralph needs to leave early today. He's going helicopter shopping. Rachel Green : Well, there you go. You win, you win. You get to do the presentation, you'll knock 'em dead, no one will ever remember that I worked here, and then Ralph will buy his helicopter, and Super Gavin will just fly right along side of him! Gavin Mitchell : You can do the presentation. Rachel Green : No, I can't, I have a baby. Gavin Mitchell : I'll watch her. Rachel Green : Why would you do that?", "summary": "Rachel is unable to give a presentation due to childcare obligations and suggests that Gavin, who is available, could do it instead. However, Mr. Zelner insists that Rachel give the presentation, which leads to a comedic exchange about helicopter shopping and Super Gavin flying alongside Ralph's new chopper."}
-{"dialogues": "Gavin Mitchell : Because you've worked really hard, and it's your job, and you're a little crazy. Rachel Green : That's really nice. Gavin Mitchell : I should tell you that crying women make me very uncomfortable. Rachel Green : Then you're not gonna like what's coming. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thank you, thank you. Gavin Mitchell : I'm really fine, don't worry, I'm great with children. Gavin Mitchell. Pleased to meet you. Joey Tribbiani : Please don't fire my friend. Just let me talk to her. Director : Okay, okay. But this is her last chance. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you, thank you. How about I do something for you? Tomorrow, I'll bring you a hat, cover up the bald? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen Pheebs. I was just talking to the director, and he was thinking, maybe this time you don't hit Drake, you just wait on the tables? Phoebe Buffay : I can't do that. I'm an actor. I have a process.", "summary": "Gavin Mitchell makes Rachel Green uncomfortable when he expresses discomfort around crying women. Joey Tribbiani tries to save his friend from getting fired by offering to do something for her, like bringing her a hat to cover up her baldness. Phoebe Buffay reveals that she is an actor and has a specific process she needs to go through in order to perform well."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You're a masseuse. You have a table with a hole in it. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute, I see what's happening here. You're threatened. Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm so good in this scene that I'm stealing focus from you. Well, rise to the challenge Tribianni 'cause I just raised the bar. Come join me up here! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you can fire her, but I would call security, she won't go easy. Monica Geller : You faked it? You couldn't have faked it! Chandler Bing : Oh yes you can. You just make the faces and the noises. Monica Geller : Guys can fake it? Unbelievable. The one thing that's ours! Besides, why would you fake it when we're trying to have a baby? Chandler Bing : That's actually why. Look, I'm starting a whole new career now, and I'm not saying that I don't want to have a baby, I'm just saying maybe we could wait a little while. Monica Geller : Like a month?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay steals focus from Joey Tribbiani during a massage session, leading him to threaten her. Monica Geller accuses Phoebe of faking the massage, while Chandler Bing reveals he's starting a new career as a fake masseuse."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Or a year? Monica Geller : Really, you want to wait a year? Chandler Bing : It could be less than a year. I mean, you've heard my stuff. \"Pants. Like shorts, but longer.\" It'll probably be more than a year. Monica Geller : I really wanna have a baby. Chandler Bing : Yeah, me too. Look, I'll just get my old job back. Monica Geller : No, I want you to have a job that you love. Not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration. Chandler Bing : I quit and you learn what I do? Monica Geller : It's just, I think, there's never gonna be a right time to have a baby. I mean, now you're unemployed and in a little while you'll find a new job that'll keep you really busy. There's always gonna be a reason not to do this, but I think once the baby comes, forget about all those reasons. Chandler Bing : I guess. It's always gonna be scary when we have a baby. Monica Geller : It's gonna be really scary. I mean, god. When we have a baby, there's gonna be so much that we're not able to control. I mean, the apartment's gonna be a mess, I won't have time to clean it. What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer? Messes up all the ribbons?! What if there's no room for a ribbon drawer, because the baby's stuff takes up all the space!? Where will all the ribbons go!?!", "summary": "Monica wants to have a baby, but Chandler is hesitant and fearful of the unknown. They discuss the challenges of having a child, including the messiness of their apartment and the uncertainty of parenthood. Monica expresses her desire for Chandler to find a job he loves, while Chandler is uncertain about quitting his job. The conversation highlights the couple's differing perspectives on having a baby and their fears about the future."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Should we go make a baby right now before you change your mind? Monica Geller : Yes, please! Chandler Bing : Oh, and I promise, I will not fake it this time. Monica Geller : I wish I could say the same. I'm a little shook up! Dr. Drake Ramoray : I know you botched that operation on purpose. I can't prove it yet, but when I do, you'll be going to jail for murder. I don't care if you are my brother. Man : I'm not your brother. Phoebe Buffay : What about my children Drake?! Huh!? No!! No!! No! God! Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. So where's Mon? Chandler Bing : Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are considering having a baby, but Monica is hesitant. Meanwhile, Dr. Ramoray accuses Chandler of intentionally botching an operation, and Phoebe demands to know about her children. Joey asks where Monica is, and Chandler reveals that she's at home preparing for Rachel's birthday party."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : And you're not helping? Chandler Bing : I tried, but apparantly singing \"I will survive\" in a helium voice - not helping. Ross Geller : Hey you guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Happy birthday ... Rachel Green : Shhh don't say that loud, Gunther's gonna want to hug me. Ross Geller : Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly . Molly, Chandler, Joey. Chandler Bing : Hi. Molly : Hi. Ross Geller : Ooh, somebody's getting a little fussy. Joey Tribbiani : You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.", "summary": "Joey and Chandler are not helping Rachel celebrate her birthday, while Ross announces they've found a new nanny named Molly. Joey gets frustrated waiting for a cookie."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside. Molly : No, you stay, I'll do it . Rachel Green : OK, thank you. Molly : Nice to meet you guys . Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you too. Rachel Green : Oh, wow, Molly is just great! Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yes, Bravo on the hot nanny. Rachel Green : What? You really think she's hot? Chandler Bing : Are you kidding? If I wasn't married she'd be rejecting me right now.", "summary": "Rachel takes Molly outside, while Joey and Ross compliment her. Chandler makes a comment about Molly being \"hot,\" which causes Rachel to react."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And Joey? Joey Tribbiani : How do you think she's doing? Rachel Green : Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross? Ross Geller : Eh, I mean, I mena she's not unattractive but hot? I .... Rachel Green : Thank you! Chandler Bing : Now that Rachel's gone? Rachel Green : So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Mike, what's the capital of Peru? Mike Hannigan : Lima. Phoebe Buffay : No. It starts with a \"v\" and ends with an \"x\". Helpfully with a \"to\" in the middle.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey discuss how they think she's doing, while Ross and Chandler agree that she's not hot but not unattractive either. Meanwhile, Phoebe tries to help Mike with a trivia question about the capital of Peru."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : You know, kinda think of it, the capital of Peru IS \"vtox\". Oh god! Oh! Phoebe Buffay : What? Mike Hannigan : OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, whew, no, that's Bob. Mike Hannigan : What, is he your pet rat? Phoebe Buffay : Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies. Mike Hannigan : You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus. Phoebe Buffay : What are those? Mike Hannigan : I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it! Phoebe Buffay : OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.", "summary": "Mike thinks Peru's capital is \"vtox\" and freaks out when he sees a rat in Phoebe's cupboard, which she explains is not a pet but an occasional visitor named Bob. Mike warns about the unsanitary conditions of having a rat in an apartment, and Phoebe agrees to get rid of Bob."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. Rachel Green : Hello. Gavin Mitchell : Hello. Rachel Green : Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology. Gavin Mitchell : For what? Rachel Green : Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious ... Gavin Mitchell : Is this your first appology? Rachel Green : No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you. Heather : Good morning!", "summary": "Mike thinks Gavin is gross, but Rachel thanks him for watching her daughter during a presentation. Gavin is confused by Rachel's apology and reveals that he thought she was pompous when they first met."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hello. But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished. Gavin Mitchell : What? Rachel Green : I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out! Gavin Mitchell : I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area. Rachel Green : Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep. Gavin Mitchell : Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I'm jealous. \"Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass\". Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate. Gavin Mitchell : I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag. Rachel Green : That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship. Gavin Mitchell : Huh. What's Tag's last name?", "summary": "Rachel Green and Gavin Mitchell have an uncomfortable interaction when he ogles her behind without realizing she's trying to apologize, leading to a confrontation about inappropriate behavior at work."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It was ... oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was just \"Tag\". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses. Gavin Mitchell : But it was a deap meaningful relationship. Rachel Green : Oh, you know what - my first impression of you was absolutely right. You are arrogant, you are pompous ... Morgan! Morgan! Tag's last name was Morgan! Huh! Gavin Mitchell : It was Jones. Rachel Green : Yeah well what are you, his boyfriend? Joey Tribbiani : Man, I wish I had a nanny like you. Molly : You mean, when you were a baby. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Monica Geller : Would you stop staring at her? Chandler Bing : I wasn't staring. I was leering.", "summary": "Tag's last name is Morgan. Rachel initially judges him as arrogant and pompous, but later learns his last name is Morgan. Gavin corrects her by saying Jones, but Rachel still has a crush on Tag. Joey wishes he had a nanny like Monica, while Chandler leers at her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What's the big deal with her? Maybe she's attractive in an obvious kind of way. Ross Geller : Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it. Chandler Bing : Looks like Joey is doing allright with her. Monica Geller : Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once. Molly : I'm gonna take her back to the appartment. Ross Geller : Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ... Molly : Bye. Monica Geller : They've elected me to talk to you about the baby talk - it's not so good. Molly : I think it's sweet. Chandler Bing : Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are talking about a woman they find attractive, but Ross prefers to work for it instead of having it handed to him. Joey is successful with her, and Monica acknowledges it. They discuss how much they like Emma-Wemma-Demma's baby talk."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Rachel Green : Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away. Joey Tribbiani : So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? Yeah, sounds about right. Ross Geller : Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more! Ross Geller : What are you, a child? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Ross Geller : Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else. Joey Tribbiani : Fine.", "summary": "Joey tries to pursue Rachel's nanny, Molly, but Rachel is against it and wants Joey to leave her alone. Ross agrees with Rachel and tells Joey to forget about Molly, but this only makes Joey more interested in her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Take me home! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Mikey. Mike Hannigan : Hey P. Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing? Mike Hannigan : Setting rat traps. Phoebe Buffay : To kill Bob?? Mike Hannigan : No, no, to test his neck strength. Phoebe Buffay : No, Mike, I don't want to kill him! I thought we were just gonna capture him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet a friendly possom and a wisecracking owl. Mike Hannigan : Ok, ok, I'll throw away the traps. Phoebe Buffay : I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? Bob! Robert! Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!", "summary": "Bob has babies."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Better think of a new name for him. Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl. Mike Hannigan : I don't know, I mean I'm not sure ... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god, we killed Bob! Mike Hannigan : Maybe it wasn't Bob, maybe it was a mouse. Phoebe Buffay : Suzie? Ross Geller : Whazzup?? Chandler Bing : Seriously dude, 3 years ago. Ross Geller : Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly? Chandler Bing : You don't trust him?", "summary": "Bob gets killed, possibly by accident or intentional act; Phoebe suggests \"Suzy\" as a replacement name."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the \"hot nanny\". Chandler Bing : Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now. Ross Geller : You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me? Chandler Bing : Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it. Ross Geller : Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees. Chandler Bing : Picturing that tree? Ross Geller : I am, yes. Chandler Bing : Where you going, Joe? Joey Tribbiani : For a walk. Chandler Bing : Oh. You mind if I join you?", "summary": "A woman named Joey called Ross's number earlier asking for her daughter, the \"hot nanny.\" Ross asks Chandler to run interference and not tell Joey that he called. Chandler reluctantly agrees but warns Ross that once Joey sets his mind on something, he'll have sex with it. Meanwhile, Joey goes for a walk."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts. Chandler Bing : Your thoughts? Plural? Joey Tribbiani : Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her! Chandler Bing : I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there? Chandler Bing : Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of. Chandler Bing : Great novels? Joey Tribbiani : Fine ... mediocre porn. Gavin Mitchell : Gavin Mitchelle's office.", "summary": "Joey wants to see a hot nanny but Chandler won't let him. Joey and Chandler have a back-and-forth about it, with Joey comparing the situation to a \"forbidden fruit\" and Chandler reminding him that Ross told him not to let Joey go near the nanny."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son. Gavin Mitchell : Hey Mom! No, that's just my secretary. Rachel Green : Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you. Gavin Mitchell : Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. Yes? Rachel Green : If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a mirror? Gavin Mitchell : Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. Man, I really bug you, don't I? Rachel Green : Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you \"momma's boy\", starting right now. Monica Geller : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Ready for your birthday lunch?", "summary": "Rachel Green's son Gavin Mitchell calls her, but she quickly realizes that it's just his secretary on the line. She tries to ask him a question, but he brushes her off and makes a comment about looking at butts. Rachel is annoyed and tells him she doesn't care enough about him to bother with him. She decides to take the high road and be nice to him from now on."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle. Gavin Mitchell : Pleased to meet you. Monica Geller : Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight? Rachel Green : Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother. Gavin Mitchell : Well I don't mind, I'll cancel. I would never miss my secretary's birthday. Rachel Green : Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy! Monica Geller : You were just being so nice to him! Rachel Green : I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake? Rachel Green : Hey, Mr Philips, nice suit! Monica Geller : Right there! That was so fake!", "summary": "Rachel invites Gavin to her party, but he has plans with his mother. When Monica expresses surprise that Rachel invited him, Rachel reveals that she had been faking her friendliness towards him earlier in the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Shh! Rachel Green : I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see. Monica Geller : Oh, you're welcome for the party. I'm glad you're having a good time. Rachel Green : God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me. Monica Geller : Does he? Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me? Rachel Green : Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over. Molly : She's out, I'm gonna take her home. Rachel Green : Oh, ok, thank you. Do you see what all the guys see in her?", "summary": "Rachel invites Gavin to a party, but she doesn't want him there. Monica suggests that maybe he likes Rachel, and they reminisce about a boy from school who would push Monica on the playground because he had a crush on her. Meanwhile, Molly offers to take home a drunk Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more Vodka for me! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure! Joey Tribbiani : Oh ... Happy birth ... oh, see you later. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, somebody got you shoes! Rachel Green : Oh, give me! Phoebe Buffay : Be careful, be careful! These are my rat babies! Mike Hannigan : Yeah. We have rat babies now. Rachel Green : Ahhhh , you brought rats to my birthday party? Monica Geller : So this is what a stroke feels like.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss shoes, Joey sings \"Happy Birthday\" to Rachel, Phoebe has pet rats, and Monica has a medical emergency due to a stroke."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother. Rachel Green : Are you comparing my daughter to a rat? Phoebe Buffay : No! Seven rats! I think we should take them home, we need feed them. Rachel Green : whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats? Phoebe Buffay : Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. Ross Geller : Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I got a little occupied. Ross Geller : We have to stop them before something happens! Chandler Bing : Right behind you, big guy! Joey Tribbiani : So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.", "summary": "Rats are left to be cared for after their mother's death; Phoebe and Rachel have different parenting styles."}
-{"dialogues": "Molly : So where did you study? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I didn't go to college. Molly : No, where did you study acting? Joey Tribbiani : Molly ... people don't study acting ... Ross Geller : Molly, ah, do you mind giving us just a minute? Molly : Sure, I'll go check on Emma. Ross Geller : Thanx. Joey Tribbiani : Will the stable boy never get the princess?? Ross Geller : What do you think you're gonna do, have sex with her right here on my couch? Joey Tribbiani : No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani claims he has not gone to college but studied acting instead. Ross Geller intervenes and asks Joey to stop pursuing Molly. Joey expresses frustration that people don't understand his genuine feelings for Molly and recalls how he hasn't felt this way since Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Come on! Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Woman : Hi, is Molly here? Ross Geller : Yeah, come on in. Molly? Molly : Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha . I'll see you tomorrow. Ross Geller : Ok ... Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem. Joey Tribbiani : It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed. Mike Hannigan : Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats? Phoebe Buffay : Well, you know what, they're our responsibility now.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel host a dinner party where a surprise guest named Tabatha arrives, leading to tension between Ross and Joey. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Mike prepare a formula for their pet rats."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them? Phoebe Buffay : Mate? They're all brothers and sisters. Mike Hannigan : Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a \"love the one you're with\" kind of animals. Phoebe Buffay : No. wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do? Mike Hannigan : Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites. Mike Hannigan : It's gonna be ok. Phoebe Buffay : You must think I'm crazy. Mike Hannigan : No, I think you're sweet. Phoebe Buffay : Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. I haven't told you about that yet, have I?", "summary": "Rats breed rapidly, causing a dilemma for the characters. They consider keeping or giving away the newborns, but ultimately decide to find good homes for them. The conversation also touches on past experiences of giving up loved ones."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi. Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up? Monica Geller : No way! You had your party, now I have mine! Is everything alright? Rachel Green : Yeah, I just get a little bummed when my birthday's over. Monica Geller : Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up . Rachel Green : Mmm hmm. Gavin Mitchell : Yeah, hey. Monica Geller : Oh, we weren't talking about you. No, no way to recover. Rachel Green : No. Gavin Mitchell : Nice party.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are discussing a party Monica threw for Rachel's birthday. Rachel mentions feeling bummed that the party is over, but is glad that a certain person (Gavin) from her office didn't show up."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ... Monica Geller : Again, you're welcome. Gavin Mitchell : Look, I'll just give you this and go. Rachel Green : Oh, you bought me a present! Why? Gavin Mitchell : Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier. Rachel Green : Aww. Well, ok, well that's very nice. And you wrote a card . \"From Gavin\" Gavin Mitchell : I really mean it. Rachel Green : Awww, awww, it's beautiful. Gavin Mitchell : You don't mind? Well, what do you know, it fits! Rachel Green : See, Gavin, you're capable of being a nice guy. Why did you give me such a hard time?", "summary": "Rachel receives a gift from Gavin at a party they both attended, despite him giving her a hard time earlier."}
-{"dialogues": "Gavin Mitchell : I'm not sure. Rachel Green : Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me. Gavin Mitchell : I do have feelings for you. Rachel Green : You do? Gavin Mitchell : Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying. Rachel Green : See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... and you do that ... Chandler Bing : First I was afraid, I was petrified. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, I think I've left something here.", "summary": "Gavin has feelings for Rachel, but he also finds her annoying."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, well someone left this . This is yours? Phoebe Buffay : No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, well, I haven't seem it but if I do I'll let you know. Monica Geller : Ohmygod! Rat baby! Rat baby! Rat baby! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, maybe that's him! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night? Chandler Bing : Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!! Ross Geller : OK you...you really don't know what I am talking about? Chandler Bing : No!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nA rat baby is left in a location, and its owner Phoebe Buffay thinks it might be one of her babies. Chandler Bing finds an unidentified object and wonders if it belongs to Phoebe, while Monica Geller exclaims about the rat baby. Ross Geller tries to discuss something that happened the previous night, but Chandler is distracted and confused."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony. Chandler Bing : Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said\"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there.\" And I said \"Maybe if we put some light out there they will\" Ross Geller : Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS ! Chandler Bing : So are you gonna...talk to her? Ross Geller : Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine! Chandler Bing : You know when \"That's fine\" sounds true when someone yells it and spits! Ross Geller : No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah! Chandler Bing : No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving? Ross Geller : I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman \"accidentally\" sat on my hand. Chandler Bing : Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life!", "summary": "Ross sees Rachel kissing someone else on Chandler and Joey's balcony, leading to a conversation about their own relationships. Ross reveals that he has been putting his life on hold for Emma but is now ready to move on, while Chandler jokes about his own dating life."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner. Chandler Bing : Why did I get married?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy? Phoebe Buffay : Well it depends. Joey Tribbiani : On...? Phoebe Buffay : On how far along he's in the sex change process! Monica Geller : No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are... Joey Tribbiani : Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out! Phoebe Buffay : Your knuckles are kinda hairy too... Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! I have to get those done too?!", "summary": "Anthropologist hits on Ross at a school potluck dinner. Chandler wonders why he got married. Joey's photographer suggests waxing his eyebrows. Phoebe and Monica have differing opinions on the matter. Joey becomes self-conscious about his knuckle hair."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Talking about high maintenance. Joey Tribbiani : Hey hey! You dye your hair! Phoebe Buffay : I'm a woman! Joey Tribbiani : Arghhh! Double standards! Phoebe Buffay : Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight? Monica Geller : Only if I don't have to get up and sing. Phoebe Buffay : But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped outand everyone booed him off the stage. So funny. Monica Geller : It's just, I'm not good at singing. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing? Monica Geller : No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey talk about high maintenance, with Phoebe revealing she dyes her hair as a woman. Monica doesn't want to sing at Mike's piano bar that night due to stage fright. Phoebe teases Monica about being afraid of her singing skills, leading Monica to admit she's scared of being outdone by Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing. Monica Geller : So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others? Phoebe Buffay : While drinking... Monica Geller : I'm there! Rachel Green : Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid. Phoebe Buffay : Well yes Rachel but you got something so beautiful out there. Rachel Green : No not that. I kissed Gavin last night. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. Monica Geller : You kissed him? Rachel Green : Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...", "summary": "Rachel kisses Gavin at a party, leading to awkwardness among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that? Phoebe Buffay : It was the end of the party, you were probably ironing wrapping paper. Monica Geller : Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing? Rachel Green : You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf... Monica Geller : I thought you hated him? Rachel Green : You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf! Monica Geller : So are you thinking of starting up something with this guy? Rachel Green : I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes. Monica Geller : Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross. Rachel Green : Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...", "summary": "Monica was at home while Phoebe kissed a guy at a party. Monica doesn't understand why Phoebe would kiss him since she hates him. Rachel reveals that she also had a connection with Gavin but is unsure about what to do. The conversation ends with Rachel considering calling in sick to avoid dealing with her complicated situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!! Salon Girl : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I'm here for my eyebrow appointment. Salon Girl : Name? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler Bing. Salon Girl : Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you. Joey Tribbiani : OK Thanks.. I touched the stuff. Sonia : I'll take care of it. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here? Sonia : Oh absolutely.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani goes to the salon for an eyebrow appointment and reveals that he is actually Chandler Bing. Sonia, the stylist, confirms this and serves him. Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay returns from a five-month maternity leave and expresses her jealousy over Joey's short time off."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh good... Sonia : Are you looking to meet somebody? Joey Tribbiani : All right let's just do this. Sonia : We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit... Joey Tribbiani : Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow! Chandler Bing : Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going? Ross Geller : Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants. Chandler Bing : Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself.... Ross Geller : That's funny...Do you think you'll ever work again? Chandler Bing : What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!", "summary": "Joey wants to wax his body but Sonia starts by tweezing his stray hairs. Joey endures the pain, but then Chandler comes over and tells Ross he'll write a personal ad for him as a single white male with two illegitimate children. Meanwhile, Ross isn't having much luck finding love on the subway again after someone sat on his hand."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me. Chandler Bing : Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing. Ross Geller : No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar. Chandler Bing : Did she go out with him? Ross Geller : No. When he called, I...I threw the message away. Chandler Bing : Ah! The high road... Ross Geller : You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me! Chandler Bing : Are you trying to get everybody divorced? Ross Geller : You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one... Chandler Bing : I thought I had to make the jokes!", "summary": "Ross can't believe Rachel moved on without telling him. Chandler thinks it might have been a one-time birthday kiss. Ross reveals Rachel gave her number to someone else and when he didn't hear back, he threw the message away. Chandler suggests they try to get everybody divorced, but Ross has other plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Don't you have to be at work? Chandler Bing : Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!! Ross Geller : Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here's a question: \"Would you...would you rather drown or be burnt alive?\" Blonde Girl : Sorry...we were just leaving. Chandler Bing : We still got it! Rachel Green : Who is it? Gavin Mitchell : Gavin! I brought you some soup. Rachel Green : Why? Gavin Mitchell : I heard you were sick... Rachel Green : Oh! Right! Yeah! Hold on, I'll be just clean up in here a little bit! Hello Gavin.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler ask an unknown person if they want to participate in a human pyramid, but the person declines and leaves with their friend Rachel. Meanwhile, Ross notices that Rachel is sick and brings her soup."}
-{"dialogues": "Gavin Mitchell : I missed you at work today. How are you feeling? Rachel Green : I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick. Gavin Mitchell : Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me. Rachel Green : Oh no no no. Gavin Mitchell : So I had fun last night. Rachel Green : So did I. Gavin Mitchell : Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you? Rachel Green : It's just a cold. Gavin Mitchell : Do you have fever? Let me see. Hum... Rachel Green : What? What's the matter?", "summary": "Gavin and Rachel catch up on each other's day, with Gavin joking about Rachel being sick to avoid him. However, they both confirm that they had a fun night out. Gavin asks if Rachel has a fever, and she hesitates before revealing that she is just feeling under the weather due to a cold."}
-{"dialogues": "Gavin Mitchell : What's Ross doing to you on that picture? Rachel Green : Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny. Gavin Mitchell : Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything. Rachel Green : Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really. Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide! Gavin Mitchell : Yeah! But you said not to worry about... Rachel Green : I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain! Molly : Hi! Rachel Green : Oh! Molly! You're not Ross. Molly : No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember? Rachel Green : Right, right, yes!", "summary": "Ross is dusting Rachel with a fossil brush while pretending it's funny. Rachel doesn't want to get involved and lies about being sick. Molly arrives to take Emma to Rachel's mother's house."}
-{"dialogues": "Molly : Don't panic! Rachel Green : What? Molly : There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse. Rachel Green : No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly.Gavin come out from behind that curtain! Gavin Mitchell : Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there. Molly : Hello! I just go and get Emma. Rachel Green : OK. Gavin Mitchell : So hum...Why did I have to hide? Rachel Green : I thought it was Ross. Gavin Mitchell : So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two...", "summary": "Molly discovers a man hiding behind Rachel's curtain and reveals that she has a mace in her purse. Rachel tries to calm Molly down, but when Gavin comes out from behind the curtain, Rachel explains that he is her business associate and was just being silly. The conversation continues with Rachel and Gavin discussing why Gavin had to hide, and Rachel revealing that she thought it was Ross hiding behind the curtain."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : There isn't. There is totally isn't. Gavin Mitchell : You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown. Rachel Green : All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place. Gavin Mitchell : It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice? Rachel Green : Yes. Gavin Mitchell : I think you should talk to Ross about all this. Rachel Green : People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin. Gavin Mitchell : Don't be. It's just bad timing. Rachel Green : So seriously...rodeo clown? Gavin Mitchell : One of the best, ma'am, one of the best...", "summary": "Rachel and Gavin have a conversation about their personal lives, including her relationship with Ross and his past as a rodeo clown."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : \"No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world...!\" Thank you! Mike Hannigan : Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging \"I touch myself\"...I'm not here to judge! Phoebe Buffay : Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing. Monica Geller : No I told you I can't. Phoebe Buffay : But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice. Monica Geller : What have you heard me sing? Phoebe Buffay : All the time when you're cooking. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah you're always singing \"Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy\" Monica Geller : Yeah I do rock that one.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe convince Mike to let them sing, despite Monica's initial refusal."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there? Monica Geller : Just a little but...it's just so scary! I don't even know what I would sing... Mike Hannigan : Well I've got a book around... Monica Geller : \"Delta Dawn\" Ross Geller : Hi! I could help not notice, but that's an unusual necklace. Woman : You already hit on me an hour ago. Ross Geller : Right, so that's a firm \"no\". I cannot believe this, I just keep striking out. Chandler Bing : I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed. Ross Geller : This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone. Chandler Bing : By drowning or...?!", "summary": "Ross desires to perform karaoke, but Monica and Mike are hesitant. Phoebe suggests singing \"Delta Dawn,\" but Ross rejects the idea. Chandler joins in, expressing his frustration with women and his desire to die alone. Rachel kisses several men until she finds the one she wants."}
-{"dialogues": "Michelle : Why would he break up with me? Her Friend : I don't know sweetie. Michelle : All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back. I mean, am I so unlovable? Chandler Bing : Well... Ross Geller : I know! Mike Hannigan : All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of \"I touch myself\". Coming up next we've got Monicasinging \"Delta Dawn\". Monica Geller : Wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people. Phoebe Buffay : Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway. Monica Geller : Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing \"Delta Dawn\"\"Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ...\" Phoebe Buffay : Can you totally see through her shirt ?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica is singing \"Delta Dawn\" and becomes self-conscious about her appearance. Phoebe makes a comment about seeing through her shirt, causing Monica to become embarrassed."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra. Monica Geller : \"To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?\" Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I need your help. Chandler Bing : Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd? Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped. Chandler Bing : I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please! Joey Tribbiani : You may be a sissy but I'll still . All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don't match! Chandler Bing : It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama! Joey Tribbiani : All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don't look stupid for my pictures. Chandler Bing : Ok. First of all, this is green!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani wants a new headshot taken and asks his friends for help shaping his eyebrows. Chandler Bing makes fun of him, but Joey insists he needs their help."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What the hell am I supposed to do! Chandler Bing : All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you. Joey Tribbiani : What, what. Chandler Bing : Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mineby plucking the eyebrows of my father and his \"business\" partners. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help Victor Victoria! Joey Tribbiani : Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don't know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad! Chandler Bing : Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe Vera and my gentle self-loathing touch. Monica Geller : \"Take me to the mansion in the sky-y\". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there? Phoebe Buffay : Every little bit of you!", "summary": "Chandler helps Joey with a secret task by plucking his father's and business partners' eyebrows."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I can't believe I did this. I can't believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting \"look at those tips\"! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips? Mike Hannigan : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Mon', not that you didn't sound good, but... Monica Geller : Good? Didn't you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That's is the best gift ever. Mike Hannigan : Also a good gift? Underwear. Michelle : Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone doanything else. Ross Geller : But, what's great is that you don't mind talking about it. Michelle : It's so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with me, because it's like you lose a boyfriend,you get a boyfriend. Ross Geller : Uh-ah! Michelle : No don't worry, this is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric.", "summary": "Monica sings for the people and they like her, despite one shouting \"look at those tips.\" Phoebe thinks Monica didn't sound good, but Mike agrees she was great. Michelle thanks Monica for letting her sing and reveals she's scared of public bathrooms. Ross mentions how great it is that Michelle doesn't mind talking about it, and Michelle replies that she's moved on from Eric and is happy to have met Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : . Good choice Ross. Rachel Green : Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I've been looking for you everywhere! Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, hello, well, now, here I am. Rachel Green : Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o' clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk... somebody here? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, yeah that's Michelle. Rachel Green : Who? Ross Geller : Oh, just this woman I've been seeing. Rachel Green : You've being seeing someone? Ross Geller : Yeah, didn't I mention that? Yeah, I mean, we haven't being going out for too long, but rather there is thisamazing connection between us. I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend. I thought it wasa little too soon, but it was also, you know, it was kinda nice. Michelle : What are you taking amoxicillin for?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their plans while waiting for Ross's mother to arrive with her baby. Ross mentions that he has been seeing someone named Michelle, but he and Rachel haven't talked about it yet."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that'smy roommate, Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi, and I am also Emma's mother. Michelle : Ah, who is Emma? Ross Geller : I told you about my daughter. Michelle : This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy! Chandler Bing : And done! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! I didn't feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon. Chandler Bing : Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing! Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right aboutthere, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.", "summary": "Ross introduces his roommate Rachel to his daughter Emma, who is not actually there. Michelle expresses interest in being Emma's new mother. Chandler and Joey discuss Chandler's new haircut, with Chandler showing off his freshly trimmed 'do to Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Thank you so much. Chandler Bing : No problem. Joey Tribbiani : Listen that's a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Comb my eyelashes. Monica Geller : Ok, for my next song I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters \"I am so excited\". And make it bouncy! Phoebe Buffay : Oh you'll probably take care of that on your hands. Chandler Bing : I am sorry I am late. You'll understand when you'll see Joey. Monica Geller : Honey, you're just in time, I'm about to sing another song! Chandler Bing : Really? In front of all this people?", "summary": "Plot: A group of friends spend an hour together singing songs and joking around. They add some \"manly makeup\" to their conversation by performing a comedy routine. One of them is late and makes an excuse. The others continue to sing and laugh together."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : And they love me! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, she gives the people what they want. Monica Geller : All right, watch! Monica Geller : \"Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll put all other things aside. Give in thistime and show me some affection...\" Chandler Bing : Are those my wife's nipples? Phoebe Buffay : Oh? Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before, I wouldn't have let her go up again. Chandler Bing : I gotta stop this. Monica Geller : Oh, who cares, they still love me! \"I am so excited...\" Chandler Bing : You, touching yourself, out!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are at a strip club, where Monica is performing. Phoebe is also there and makes a comment about Monica's nipples. Chandler becomes uncomfortable and tries to stop the performance, but Monica continues."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow. She does that a lot! Michelle : Ross, you didn't tell me you were a doctor! Rachel Green : What, what, wait a minute! You haven't even told her you were a doctor, yet? How long have you known her, likean hour? Michelle : Actually about an hour and a half. Ross Geller : I told you it wasn't long, but there is an amazing connection between us. Michelle : You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me! Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Michelle : Hey, do you want to go away this weekend? Ross Geller : We'll see. Rachel Green : Ok, Ross, what's going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?", "summary": "Ross meets a woman named Michelle and they hit it off. He hasn't told her he's a doctor yet, despite knowing her for over an hour and a half. Rachel questions Ross's judgment in bringing strange women back to their apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't know, are we just kissing guys on balconies? Rachel Green : How do you know about that? Ross Geller : Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep... Michelle : Emma. Ross Geller : When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week? Rachel Green : Oh, that's what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me? Michelle : No, actually, see I had to pee, 'cause I can't use public bathrooms because the doodie parasites. Ross Geller : Ok, Michelle, it's time to go. Michelle : Well, call me! Ross Geller : Ok.", "summary": "Ross sees Rachel kissing another man on a balcony and becomes jealous."}
-{"dialogues": "Michelle : No, wait, you don't have my phone number! Ross Geller : You know, if it's meant to be, I'll guess it. Bye, bye. Rachel Green : Score. Ross Geller : Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties onthe balcony. Rachel Green : Oh God, I can't believe you're making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time! Ross Geller : Oh, really! Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, really! Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Ross Geller : What about the guy from the bar?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their past relationships, including a kiss with a stranger at a bar."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Who? Ross Geller : The guy you gave your number to. Rachel Green : Whoa, how do you know about that? Ross Geller : Because he called here looking for you. So don't tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You've been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn't even have the courtesy to tell me. Rachel Green : Why didn't I get that message? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : From the guy in the bar, why didn't I get that message? Ross Geller : Because I folded it up and put in my pants pocket. Do you...do you not look there? Rachel Green : Ross? Ross Geller : I never gave it to you.", "summary": "Ross discovers that Rachel has been seeing someone else behind his back, and he confronts her about it. She denies it at first, but eventually admits that she has been seeing the guy from work. Ross is hurt and confused, and the two of them have a tense conversation about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Why? Ross Geller : I don't know. Rachel Green : Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get? Ross Geller : Who am I? Rachel Green : Yes. Ross Geller : I am the guy who's taking care of our baby while you're out at bars meeting guys! Rachel Green : Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can't do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment! Ross Geller : None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That's not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn't tell anyone! Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What's wrong with us? You know when people hear about our situation theyAlways ask, \"what, you live together but you're not a couple? And you have a baby, isn't that weird? And I say \"No.You know what, it's not, because it works for us! But you know this doesn't work. In fact this is the opposite of working! Ross Geller : Uh, clearly.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their on-again, off-again relationship while caring for their baby together. Ross becomes frustrated when he discovers that Rachel has been hiding his messages and bringing other men back to their apartment. Rachel feels hurt and betrayed by Ross's actions, leading to an argument about their inability to have a mature conversation about their relationship. The couple struggles with their co-parenting dynamic and the outside opinions of others on their unconventional living situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And you know, we said that we would, we would live together as long as this makes sense. An maybe this, you know,Just doesn't make sense anymore. Ross Geller : Yeah, maybe not. So what you wanna do? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while? Joey Tribbiani : Ha, oh, of course. Rachel Green : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Your eyebrows look weird. Chandler Bing : \"Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped himdrink his wine.\" So you just touch yourself for anything? Joey Tribbiani : Morning, roomie! Rachel Green : Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are considering whether it makes sense for them to continue living together, and Rachel suggests that Emma and she could live with Joey for a while. Joey agrees, but makes a comment about Rachel's eyebrows. Chandler enters with a strange statement about Jeremiah the bullfrog, and Joey confirms that he's wearing clothes this morning."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Fifth day's a charm. Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night? Ross Geller : Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight? Rachel Green : Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so... Joey Tribbiani : She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night. Rachel Green : Bye! Ross Geller : Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you. Joey Tribbiani : No, hey, it's been great. Ross Geller : Yeah?", "summary": "Rachel Green returns to the apartment and is greeted by Joey Tribbiani and Ross Geller. They make small talk about her return and Emma's sleeping habits."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump... Ross Geller : Yeah, that'll do it. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! So, how are you? Ross Geller : I'm, I'm okay. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce. Joey Tribbiani : Well, actually it... Ross Geller : No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, really? Ross Geller : Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss Rachel moving in with Ross and how it has affected their feelings towards each other. Ross expresses disappointment but acknowledges that it's not a divorce. They both agree that they need to move on and start seeing other people."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Sure, I know lots of girls. Ross Geller : Yeah? Any names come to mind? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, names? Opening credits. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something? Phoebe Buffay : What you got? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots... Ooh! Strained plums. We haven't tried that yet. Phoebe Buffay : Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food. Joey Tribbiani : I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.", "summary": "Ross asks Joey for names of girls he knows, and Joey replies with the opening credits. Phoebe joins the conversation and they discuss food options, before turning to chat about Rachel's on-again, off-again relationship with Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Why are they doing this? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy. Joey Tribbiani : You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here? Phoebe Buffay : I just wish they'd realise they should be together. Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed. Phoebe Buffay : I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children. Joey Tribbiani : Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name. Phoebe Buffay : You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's still in the bedroom. Phoebe Buffay : So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?", "summary": "* Joey and Phoebe are discussing why their friends Monica and Chandler are not together despite being perfect for each other.\n* They mention how strange it is that there are only two jars of pickles in a jar full of food.\n* Phoebe wishes they would realize they should be together and start dating.\n* Joey agrees and mentions he wants one of their children to be named Joey.\n* Phoebe suggests setting them up with other people, but Joey is hesitant."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know; that just pushes them further and further apart. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, that's a great plan! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my \"plan-laugh.\" Joey Tribbiani : Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh... Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you? Chandler Bing : See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries. Rachel Green : I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are pushed further apart by a series of terrible dates set up by Phoebe, while Chandler reads obituaries and Monica and Joey hang out with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to? Rachel Green : Well, Phoebe set me up on a date. Monica Geller : Oh my god. Chandler Bing : Wow. Rachel Green : Why? What's the big deal? Monica Geller : Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are... Rachel Green : What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set. Chandler Bing : Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood! Monica Geller : You want a job? Turn off \"Oprah,\" and send out a resume! Rachel Green : So I'll bring her by around seven? Is that okay?", "summary": "Rachel goes on a date set up by Phoebe, while Monica and Chandler are skeptical of her dating life."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, it's perfect. Rachel Green : Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun! Chandler Bing : Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Who is he? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah.", "summary": "Monica's daughter starts solids and poops all the time, Rachel has fun with her, but Monica wishes she could leave, Chandler wants to read, Joey sets up Rachel on a bad date, and Phoebe set up Ross with an unwanted masseuse."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher! Phoebe Buffay : A teacher? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god, you're right! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : She even reads for pleasure! Phoebe Buffay : How do you even know a woman like that? Joey Tribbiani : What? I'm not allowed to know smart women? Phoebe Buffay : Joey.", "summary": "Joey sets up his friend Ross with a teacher who loves history, foreign movies, and puzzles. However, Phoebe is skeptical of the woman's intelligence and likens her to a \"boring\" librarian."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I met her at the library. I went in to pee. Phoebe Buffay : So now what do we do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else. Phoebe Buffay : What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh...I hear that's bad. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, yes, The Plan! Phoebe Buffay : It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you know, it's not that fun. Phoebe Buffay : No, I think we killed it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are planning to go on a date, but Phoebe and Joey have other plans to sabotage their date by telling Rachel that Ross has been stood up."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Emma? Emma? Look at me! Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while. Chandler Bing : No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! It's okay, it's okay. I didn't go. Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your uncle Chandler; funny is all I have! Monica Geller : Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours. Chandler Bing : I don't do that. Chandler Bing : I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Today is the sixth. Monica Geller : No, it's not. Chandler Bing : Yes, it's also 2003. Monica Geller : Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.", "summary": "Chandler accidentally reveals that he ejaculated inside his pants while Monica mentions she will be ovulating for the next 48 hours. Chandler mistakenly believes it's today and becomes distressed, but Monica corrects him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Tough crib. Monica Geller : Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here. Chandler Bing : I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : I am not working. There's not much to do around here! Ross Geller : Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle? Waiter : Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy. Ross Geller : Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler take a pregnancy test, but only one stick is left. Chandler admits to using it previously, leading Monica to confront him. Meanwhile, Ross spots a mystery woman at the bar and offers to buy her a drink."}
-{"dialogues": "Waiter : Can I get you another glass of wine? Ross Geller : Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone. Waiter : Got stood up, huh? Ross Geller : Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date. Waiter : Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left? Ross Geller : No! Monica Geller : We're okay. I'm still ovulating. Chandler Bing : Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not. Monica Geller : So, let's do this. Chandler Bing : I - I don't think I can.", "summary": "Ross is hesitant to drink more wine on a blind date, worrying about being drunk when he goes home alone. The waiter suggests that he might have been stood up, but Ross insists it's no big deal. Monica and Chandler joke about ovulation and Chandler admits he is not interested in the date."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute. Chandler Bing : Because of Emma. Monica Geller : Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone. Chandler Bing : Sorry. Monica Geller : Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age? Chandler Bing : Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it. Monica Geller : Canoodling? Chandler Bing : Well, I can't say \"hump\" or \"screw\" in front of the B-A-B-Y. Monica Geller : I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so... Chandler Bing : Horrifying? Scarring? Something people go to jail for?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler consider having sex while Emma is in the room, but are unsure if it's appropriate."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I guess you're right. Chandler Bing : You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window. Monica Geller : But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer? Rachel Green : Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken. Steve : I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful. Rachel Green : Oh, well, that's - that's very sweet. Thank you. Steve : I'm kind of funny looking. Rachel Green : What? Steve : Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, \"ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!\" Well, I'm not! Rachel Green : So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler reminisce about a past trip to a bed and breakfast, where Monica refused to have sex with him due to a deer watching through the window. Rachel joins them and orders food, with Steve complimenting her beauty despite being unattractive himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Steve : I'm not funny either. So, if you were thinking, \"well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have some laughs\"... That ain't gonna happen. Rachel Green : Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive. Steve : I lost it. To drugs. Steve : I silk-screen t-shirts now. Rachel Green : Really? What's that like? Steve : It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile. Rachel Green : Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself. Steve : I do like my hair. Rachel Green : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Hello?", "summary": "Steve lost his restaurant due to drug addiction and now silk-screens t-shirts for no money. He expresses frustration with his lack of success in various areas of life, including humor, finances, and relationships. Rachel asks him to find something he likes about himself, but Steve can only think of his hair."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Rach! Rachel Green : This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep? Phoebe Buffay : You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends. Rachel Green : I don't care! This guy is a nightmare! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned. Rachel Green : He's not stoned. Phoebe Buffay : Did he go out for a cigarette? Rachel Green : Yeah, four times. Phoebe Buffay : My dear, sweet Rach.", "summary": "Rachel threatens to harm Phoebe after a bad date, and Phoebe reveals that the guy is one of her close friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together. Phoebe Buffay : By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan. Monica Geller : She's asleep. Chandler? Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Emma was doing it! Monica Geller : She's asleep. Chandler Bing : Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can... Monica Geller : Yes, but we have to be fast. Chandler Bing : Okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are separated, Joey thinks they will get back together, Phoebe and Monica plan to reunite them, but things don't go as expected."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, I'll try. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Emma? Hey! Hi! Joey Tribbiani : How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed? Joey Tribbiani : You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E! Waiter : I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left. Ross Geller : Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be. Waiter : Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house. Ross Geller : Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight. Waiter : Ooh...", "summary": "Joey and Emma are in a secret relationship, but Joey is worried about how to handle it since he has babysitters over. Ross is trying to hook up with someone new after his previous plans fell through, but the waiter informs him that the person never showed up."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Just the crab cakes. Waiter #2 : What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that. Waiter : Just get out of here, okay? Ross Geller : What's - what's going on? Waiter : Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home. Ross Geller : What? You - you're making money off my misery? Waiter : Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am. Ross Geller : This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way. Monica Geller : Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast. Chandler Bing : I think we may have really done it this time.", "summary": "Ross is at a restaurant with a waiter who is making fun of him and taking bets on how long he will stay before giving up and leaving. Monica walks in and notices the situation, while Chandler makes a comment about their recent argument."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test. Chandler Bing : You may wanna get some more of those too. Chandler Bing : Where's Emma? Monica Geller : Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma? Chandler Bing : Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you! Monica Geller : Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel. Steve : I - I can't believe I'm crying in front of you. You must think I'm so pathetic. Rachel Green : No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discover they may be pregnant, but can't find Emma (Rachel's baby). Monica jokes about giving the baby back to Rachel if they are pregnant."}
-{"dialogues": "Steve : Really? Rachel Green : Don't touch my coat! Rachel Green : Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello? Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, how's it going? Rachel Green : Oh my god, this is the worst date ever! Rachel Green : Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? What's up? Monica Geller : Hey, did you stop by here? Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Oh my god, then... Monica Geller : Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are!", "summary": "Rachel has a bad date and talks to her friend Monica about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? What do you mean, \"there you are\"? Where was she? Monica Geller : Oh, we were playing \"peek-a-boo.\" She just - she loves it when I'm dramatic. Monica Geller : Why the hell did you take her? Joey Tribbiani : Because you two were having sex! Monica Geller : No, we weren't! Joey Tribbiani : Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once? Chandler Bing : All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this. Chandler Bing : No, no, no. Monica Geller : No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are playing \"peek-a-boo\" with Emma when Joey walks in on them having sex. Monica and Chandler try to cover it up by saying they were trying to make a baby, but Joey discovers the truth and threatens to tell Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I gotta! Unless... Monica Geller : Unless what? Joey Tribbiani : Unless you name your firstborn child Joey. Chandler Bing : What? Why? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name. Chandler Bing : Your family name is Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : You almost had me. Rachel Green : Well, uh... Steve : Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but... Would you like to make love to me? Rachel Green : Really, really not.", "summary": "Joey wants Monica to name her firstborn child Joey, Chandler opposes the idea, and Rachel has no interest in making love to Steve."}
-{"dialogues": "Steve : Eh, it's just as well. Doesn't work anyway. Rachel Green : All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve. Ross Geller : Hey, what's wrong? Rachel Green : I just had a rough night. Ross Geller : Oh. Crab cake? Rachel Green : Eww! Ross Geller : Well, what happened? Rachel Green : Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but... Ross Geller : Monica told me you had a blind date. Rachel Green : Yeah.", "summary": "Rachel has a rough night and talks to Ross about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I did, too. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up? Rachel Green : Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left? Ross Geller : Why does everyone keep saying that? Rachel Green : Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up. Ross Geller : That bad? Rachel Green : Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this. Ross Geller : Female body inspector? What size is that? Phoebe Buffay : Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel go on a date, but Rachel's date doesn't show up, leading to confusion about whether it was actually a date. Meanwhile, Phoebe finds out that Joey and his partner are planning to name their first child after Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : How - how do I get them to name the next one after me? Joey Tribbiani : It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working. Phoebe Buffay : Don't, don't do the plan-laugh. Ross Geller : The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters. Rachel Green : Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show. Ross Geller : Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid. Joey Tribbiani : We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to get the next baby named after her, so she suggests walking in on Ross and Rachel having sex to make it happen. Meanwhile, Joey and Ross set each other up on terrible dates."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run! Joey Tribbiani : Where? Phoebe Buffay : Mexico! End credits. Joey Tribbiani : Can you believe they're still not here? Ross Geller : I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances? Joey Tribbiani : I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now? Waiter : What? Joey Tribbiani : We've been stood up. And we want our free crab cakes. Waiter : Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.", "summary": "They are falling in love again. They see them and look mad. Figured it out and coming this way. Run! To Mexico."}
-{"dialogues": "Steve : I have such fat hands! Chandler Bing : Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica Geller : Really? Let's get past the moment. Phoebe Buffay : What's your news? Chandler Bing : Thank you. I got a job in advertising. Monica Geller : Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe Buffay : Gosh, what's the pay like? Oh, come on people... come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! Hey Joey! Chandler Bing : Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'.", "summary": "Chandler gets a job in advertising and Monica is pregnant."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Right. So, it'll be the same except... less sex with you. Ross Geller : So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler Bing : Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe Buffay : That's great. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating. Chandler Bing : Humiliating and noble! Ross Geller : You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica Geller : Ross, you did not come up with \"got milk?\" Ross Geller : Yes, I did, I did! I should have written it down! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Chandler and Ross discuss a training program Chandler has been accepted into, with the possibility of being hired at the end. Phoebe thinks it's great, while Chandler expresses some reservations about the groundwork involved, which he finds humiliating but noble. Ross considers advertising as a potential career path."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first day. ... and I smelled bacon. Monica Geller : He just left. Joey Tribbiani : Who did? Rachel Green : Joey! You never gonna believe it: she called. Joey Tribbiani : She did? Rachel Green : You got it! Joey Tribbiani : I did? Monica Geller : What is she talking about? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, but it sounds great.", "summary": "Chandler leaves for his first day of work and Monica wants to wish him good luck. Joey smells bacon, then Rachel calls and tells Joey that she called someone unexpectedly. Joey doesn't know who it was, but he thinks it's great."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Your agent called. You got that audition. Joey Tribbiani : With Lennart Haze? Rachel Green : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god, that is great! That is *** for a play on broadway... and in a real theatre, not that little one underneath the dally like last time. Monica Geller : Is it a good play? Joey Tribbiani : Well, it must be, because I read and I didn't understand a singe word. Rachel Green : Yeah, and Lennart Haze is starring in it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, and directing. Monica Geller : He was so good in that movie of MacBeth. Rachel Green : You saw that?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang discovers that Joey has landed a role in a Broadway play opposite Lennart Haze, who is also directing. Monica raves about Haze's previous work, while Joey expresses excitement about performing on a real stage instead of a smaller one. Rachel adds that the play is a good opportunity for Joey, despite not understanding the script."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, but... I saw the previews. They played it right before Jackass. Joey Tribbiani : Ah! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's done some amazing works. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. Oh, I loved him in those cell phone commercials. Joey Tribbiani : I know. When the monkey hits him in the face with that giant rubber phone. Monica Geller : Hey! Maybe the monkey will be at the audition! Joey Tribbiani : Don't make me more nervous than I already am! Chandler Bing : Good morning, everybody. Intern : Can I get you a cup of coffee, Sir? Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no, I'm an intern, just like you guys... except for the tie, the briefcase... and the fact that I can rent a car.", "summary": "Monica and Joey discuss a comedy audition, with Monica mentioning a monkey in a commercial hitting Joey in the face with a giant rubber phone. Rachel joins in, recalling the cell phone commercials featuring the same comedian. Chandler enters and greets everyone before an intern offers him coffee."}
-{"dialogues": "Intern : Seriously, you're an intern? Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I'm kinda heading into a new career direction and, you know, you gotta start at the bottom. Intern : Dude! Chandler Bing : Right. Look, I know I'm a little bit older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope. Chandler Bing : The comedian? USO?! Intern : Uhm, it's USA, sir. Receptionist : This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers and, as you probably already know, this is Lennart Haze. Joey Tribbiani : It is so amazing to meet you. I'm such a big fan of your work. Lennart : Well, I've... I've been blessed with a... a lot of great roles. Joey Tribbiani : Tell me about it! \"Unlimited nights and weekends!\"", "summary": "Chandler Bing, an older intern, starts at the bottom of his new career direction as an intern. He talks to a receptionist who introduces him to producers Lennart Haze and Joey Tribbiani. Chandler tries to impress them with his experiences in show business, but Joey is more interested in discussing his love of acting and the line \"Unlimited nights and weekends!\""}
-{"dialogues": "Lennart : You making fun of me? Because I am not a sell-out. I didn't do that for the money, I believe in those phones. I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service. Joey Tribbiani : No, I-I-I wasn't making fun of you, honestly, I-I think you were great in those commercials. Lennart : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Lennart : Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role. Joey Tribbiani : Are you kiddin'? When they shoot you out of that cannon. Lennart : Peeeeeooooooooch \"Hang up that phone!\" One take! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Lennart : So, shall we read? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yah, sure.", "summary": "Lennart believes in a product and almost lost a cousin due to poor service. Joey Tribbiani wasn't making fun of Lennart but thinks he was great in commercials. Lennart shoots himself out of a cannon in one take."}
-{"dialogues": "Lennart : Top of act two. This is my entrance. You got it? Lennart : \"What the hell are you still doing here\"? Joey Tribbiani : Err, \"I think you know\". Lennart : \"Bastard\"! Joey Tribbiani : \"I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now.\" Lennart : \"Go, go!\" Joey Tribbiani : \"I can't. Oh, I want to, long pause, but I can't.\" Lennart : I'm sorry, sorry. You're not supposed to say \"long pause\" Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, I thought that was your character's name, you know, I thought you were like an Indian or something, you know with a... Lennart : No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it, thank you.", "summary": "Lennart confronts Joey about why he is still present and calls him a \"bastard.\" Joey responds by saying he can't leave because he wants to, but he also says he could go at any moment. Lennart tells Joey to leave, but Joey doesn't understand why he can't say \"long pause\" as it is not his character's name."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ah, y-y-you're sure you don't want me to do it again? I could do it with an accent, you know, Southern \"I could go right now, maaan!\" Lennart : My god in heaven. Producer #1 : Joey, hang on for a second. Lennart, can we talk to you for a moment? Lennart : You, you gotta be kidding. See, h-he, he can't act. . Lennart : Hey! I-I-I don't care if he's hot, you know. If you want to sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play. No, listen: if you insist on this, I will call my agent so fast on a cell phone that has a connection that is so clear he's gonna think I'm next door. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, hi, ah. Thank you so much for whispering for my benefit, but, ah, look, if you just tell me what I did wrong, I'd just love to work on it and come back and try it again for you. And, and also: 'How you doing?' You should, please, just gimme another chance. I really wanna get better, please. Lennart : Well, if you wanna come back at the end of the day today, here are my notes. Ready? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Lennart : Uhm, you're in your head. You-you're thinking way too much. Joey Tribbiani : I really doubt that.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani auditions for a play, but his overthinking and poor accent impressions lead to criticism from the director and producers. Despite their feedback, Joey insists on improving and returns later in the day for another chance."}
-{"dialogues": "Lennart : No, no, no. It's that you're not connected with anything in your body. There's no urgency. The scene is a struggle, uhm, it's a race. Also, what you did was horizontal. Don't be afraid to explore the vertical. And don't learn the words. Let the words learn you. Joey Tribbiani : Couldn't I just sleep with the producer? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, do you wanna go to dinner tonight? Ross Geller : Oh, I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katy, yeah, I know we've been only going out like twice, but I have a really good feeling about her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I hear divorce bells. Lowell (mugger) : Alright. Just give me your wallets and there won't be a problem. Ross Geller : What? Lowell (mugger) : I have a gun. Ross Geller : O-ok. Just relax, Phoene, just stay calm. . Oh my god, I can't find my wallet. Lowell (mugger) : Alright, lady, now give me your purse!", "summary": "A struggle ensues as Joey considers sleeping with a producer, while Ross has a date with a new waitress and Phoebe goes to dinner. A mugger appears and demands wallets from the group, causing chaos."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No. Ross Geller : What do you mean \"no\"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : Lowell, is that you? Lowell (mugger) : Phoebe? Oh my god! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, Ross, this is my old friend Lowell from the streets. Lowell, Ross. Lowell (mugger) : Ross, nice to meet you. Ross Geller : Yeah, a real pleasure. Phoebe Buffay : Ah, it's been so long, so long. I can't believe you're still doing this! Lowell (mugger) : Ough, I know, but I quit smoking!", "summary": "Phoebe runs into an old friend from the streets, Lowell, who is now a mugger. She apologizes and introduces him to Ross, who is surprised to see his friend from the past still in that line of work."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Good for you! Lowell (mugger) : So you look like you're doing really well! I guess you're mugging days are behind you? Phoebe Buffay : Ouh... Ross Geller : Oh my god. Phoebe, you used to mug people? Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up. Monica Geller : Hey, how did the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Well, they wanna see me again this afternoon, but, err, well, Lennart Haze did not like me. Monica Geller : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he said I wasn't urgent enough, you know, and that everything I did was horizontal and I should be more vertical. Oh, and he said that I should think less. Monica Geller : So far so good!", "summary": "Phoebe used to mug people, but now she's giving up her criminal ways for old times' sake with Ross. Monica asks about an audition, and Joey talks about a recent acting rejection, including criticism from a director who thought he needed to be more vertical and less horizontal in his movements."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Honey, I'm old! Monica Geller : What's wrong? Chandler Bing : I am so much older than these other interns. I can't compete with them. Monica Geller : So you're a little older. Try to look at the positive: You have all this life experience. Chandler Bing : Yes, but I don't think life experience with these. Joey Tribbiani : Wooooooooow It's like they're on fire! Monica Geller : What are they? Chandler Bing : They're these prototype sneakers and come up with ideas on how to sell them which I can't do because no self-respecting adult would ever where these. Joey Tribbiani : I give you $ 500 for them! Chandler Bing : What am I supposed to do with these?", "summary": "Chandler is feeling insecure about being older than his coworkers and doubts he can compete with their ideas. Monica tries to reassure him by pointing out the benefits of having life experience. Joey offers to buy Chandler's sneaker prototype for $500, but Chandler is unsure what to do with the money."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ah, come on, sneakers are easy. You wear sneakers all the time. Chandler Bing : Well, first of all, they're not called \"sneakers\" anymore. Apparently, they're called \"kicks\" or \"skids\" and I think I heard somebody say \"slorps\". And here, look: they've got these wheels to pop out from the bottom so you can roll around 'cause, apparently, walking is too much exercise. Kids, kids, roll your way to childhood obesity! Would you help me try to sell these? Monica Geller : Okay, have you considered using a girl with huge knockers? Chandler Bing : No, I don't think that's the kinda thing they're looking for. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that'd work on me! Why did I get to buy Mrs. Butterwords? #ALL# : Hey, hey! Ross Geller : Hey, you'll never guess what just happened... Phoebe and I got mugged! Monica Geller : You okay?! Ross Geller : Yah, because Phoebe knew the mugger! Monica Geller : How do you know a mugger?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler try to sell \"kicks\" or \"skids\" that are shoes with wheels underneath so kids can roll around instead of walking. Joey suggests using a girl with large breasts to help sell them. Ross and Monica discuss a recent mugging they experienced, with Phoebe recognizing the mugger."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry I have friends outside the six of us. Ross Geller : You wanna know how she knew him? Because Phoebe used to mug people. Monica Geller : Seriously? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know... sometimes when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff I. Monica Geller : Phoebe, that is awful! Phoebe Buffay : Well, ok, I wasn't rich like you guys, ok, I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony... I had a hard life, my mother was killed by a drug dealer. Monica Geller : You're mother killed herself! Phoebe Buffay : She was a drug dealer! Ross Geller : Well, anyway, it was a good thing Phoebe knew the knew him, because I was about to do some serious damage! Phoebe Buffay : Okay.", "summary": "Phoebe mugs people to survive on the streets and has a difficult life due to her mother's death. Monica and Ross are shocked by this revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, this must've brought back some really bad memories for you, Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Monica Geller : Well, Ross was mugged as a kid. Phoebe Buffay : You were? Ross Geller : Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. I was outside St. Marc's Comics... you know, I-I-I was just there minding my own business, you know, seeing what kinda trouble spiderman got into that week- Monica Geller : Wonderwoman! Ross Geller : Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery, you know, to pick up a couple of dozen Linzer torts for someone... ... when outta nowhere this thug with a pipe jumps out and says: \"Gimme your money, punk!\" Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. Ross Geller : I know! And-and the worst part was they took my backpack which had all the original artwork I had done for my own comic book: \"Science Boy\" Monica Geller : Oh yeah! What was his superpower again?", "summary": "Ross was mugged as a kid and lost his backpack containing his original comic book artwork."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : A superhuman thirst for knowledge. Monica Geller : That's it. Ross Geller : Well, I-I better get to class Are there any more of your friends I should look out for on my way, Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : No... actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane street... that's where stabby Joe works. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I think we have a problem here. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Well, uhm, back in my mugging days, you know, I, uhm, I worked St. Marc's Comics. Monica Geller : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice and, uhm, pre-teen comic book nerds were my meat. Monica Geller : So?", "summary": "Ross has an insatiable thirst for knowledge, while Phoebe warns him about a dangerous person on Jane Street. Meanwhile, Monica and Phoebe discuss Phoebe's past as a mugger who targeted young comic book enthusiasts at St. Marc's Comics."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, there was this one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said- Monica Geller : \"Geology rocks!\" Monica Geller : Oh my god! Phoebe Buffay : I know... I mugged Ross! Receptionist : You're late! Joey Tribbiani : I know, I'm sorry, but can I just have a quick second to run to the bathroom? Receptionist : No, Lennart doesn't wait! Joey Tribbiani : But I'm bursting with u-hu! Lennart : Joey! Here we go. Let's go very quickly! Joey Tribbiani : Actually, I really need.", "summary": "The gang visits a doctor named Lennart for a check-up, but Joey has to use the bathroom urgently. Phoebe notices a sticker on one of their backpacks that reads \"Geology rocks!\", and Monica jokes about mugging Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Lennart : We must go now, quickly, please. Joey Tribbiani : Yes... ahahaaa. Lennart : Ready? \"What the hell are you still doing here?\" Joey Tribbiani : \"I think you know!\" Lennart : \"Oh, you sick bastard!\" Joey Tribbiani : \"I am what you made me! You know what?\" Lennart : \"What?\" Joey Tribbiani : \"I could go right now.\" Lennart : \"Then go, go!\" Joey Tribbiani : \"I, oh, I can't. I want to, but I can't!\"", "summary": "Lennart and Joey have a confrontation where Lennart urges Joey to leave immediately, with Joey responding with witty remarks and eventually revealing a dark secret."}
-{"dialogues": "Lennart : Cut! That was good. That was very good. You did everything I asked for. Joey Tribbiani : I did? Lennart : Yes. Plus... what you've got that... I don't know what you've got going... this squirmy quality that you bring into the character that I couldn't've even imagined. Wow, hey, here's what we gonna do: come back tomorrow for the final callbacks with the ***, do all of this what you've got going now, but you know what? more, more. Can you do that? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, yeah. I don't have time to say thank you because I really gotta go. Lennart : Look at that: still in character, I like it... I plant seeds I can't explain. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Putting on the sneakers... thought I'd get into a younger mindset, you know, to see if it sparked anything. Rachel Green : Oh, anything yet?", "summary": "Lennart praises Joey for his performance and invites him back for final callbacks with additional material. Joey agrees and exits, only to be followed by Monica and Chandler who are trying on sneakers to get into a \"younger mindset.\" Rachel joins them and asks if anything has sparked."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes, how's this: They're so uncomfortable it's like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Probably wanna know what I'm doing...? Monica Geller : No, that seems about right. Joey Tribbiani : Yesterday at my audition, I really had to pee, and apparently, having to pee makes me a really good actor. I got a call-back, so I'm drinking everything. Oh, by the way, that egg nog in our fridge was great! Rachel Green : Joey, that was formula. Joey Tribbiani : We gotta get more of that. Chandler Bing : You know what... these aren't half-bad! You should suggest something like these to Ralph Lauren. Rachel Green : Okay, first of all, that's stupid and second of all, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph.", "summary": "Monica auditions for a role but feels uncomfortable; Joey has an accident during his audition; Joey gets a call-back and drinks excessively; Rachel criticizes Joey's formula eggnog and suggests alternative ingredients to Ralph Lauren."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Alright I feel youger already! Chandler Bing : Yah, I think I broke my hip. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, how was class? Ross Geller : No one ever asked me that, what's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, I really wanna know. Ross Geller : Oh... Well, uhm, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, nothing is worth this. Uhm, I have a confession to make... uhm, okay, you know, that girl that mugged you when you were a kid. Ross Geller : Wh-What are you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss their day in class, with Ross revealing a lively discussion about the Pleistocene. However, Phoebe quickly changes the subject to make a confession about someone who mugged Ross when he was a kid."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to lie anymore, Ross, I know that it was a fourteen year-old girl. Ross Geller : No, it wasn't. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, it was. Ross Geller : No, it wasn't. You don't think I would've defended myself against a fourteen year-old. Phoebe Buffay : \"Gimme your money, punk!\" Ross Geller : Oh my god, it was you! I can't believe it, you... you mugged me? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and I'm so, so sorry, Ross, I'm sorry, but, you know, if you think about it, it's kinda neat. I mean, well, it's just that I I've always felt kinda like an outsider, you know, the rest of you have these connections that go way back and, you know, now, you and I have... have a great one! Ross Geller : It's not the best! Phoebe Buffay : I know, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I don't know what to say. Ross Geller : There's nothing you can say. That was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me.", "summary": "Ross is mugged by Phoebe, who admits it and apologizes. Ross is embarrassed and upset about the situation, feeling like an outsider among his friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Really? Even more humiliating than. Ross Geller : Hey, let's not do this! Intern : ... and then, at the end of the commercial, the girls get out of the hut tub and start making out with each other! Boss : That's interesting! Just one thought: You didn't mention the shoes. Who's next? Chander. Chandler Bing : Okay... You start on the image of a guy putting on the shoes. He's about my age. Intern : Your age? Chandler Bing : A-huh. So he's rolling down the street and he starts to lose control, you know... maybe he falls... maybe hurts himself. Just then, a kid comes flying by wearing the shoes. He jumps over the old guy and laughs, and the line reads: \"Not suitable for adults!\" Boss : Chandler, that's great! Chandler Bing : Oh, thank you, sir... or man-who's-two-years-younger-than-me. Boss : You see? That has a clear selling point. It appeals to our key demographic, it's.... You did you come up with that?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a commercial for a shoe brand, with various characters contributing their ideas for the ad. Phoebe Buffay suggests a humiliating scenario for the male model, while Ross Geller objects. The intern provides an unexpected twist at the end, mentioning that the girls in the commercial start making out with each other. Chandler Bing then shares his idea, which involves a kid wearing the shoes and jumping over an older man who loses control. The boss is impressed with Chandler's selling point and agrees that it appeals to their key demographic."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I don't know, I don' I don' know! I was just trying to get into a young mindset, you know, and it just started to flow. Boss : That is great. Good work! Chandler. Thank you. Boss : See all of you tomorrow. Chandler Bing : The cold weather hurts my hip! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Ross! I know you're still mad at me, but can I just talk to you for a second? Ross Geller : Sure, go ahead. Whoops, sorry, sure, go ahead. Phoebe Buffay : I just really wanted to apologize again and... and also show you something I think you'll find very exciting. Ross Geller : Oh my god, crap from the street? Phoebe Buffay : Look, Ross, in this box are all the things I got from mugging that I thought were too special to sell... or smoke. Anyway, I was looking through it and I found \"Science Boy\" Ross Geller : Oh my god. I never thought I'd see this again. It's all here. What made you save it all these years?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Chandler Bing attempting to get into a \"young mindset\" and write something, while his boss thanks him for his effort and tells him to see everyone tomorrow. Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay approaches Ross Geller with an apology and shows him a box of items she saved from her mugging days, including a comic book featuring \"Science Boy,\" which Ross finds exciting."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I can't say, I just thought it was really good... and... maybe would be worth something some day. Ross Geller : You really thought \"Science Boy\" was worth saving! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... but you should know, I also have a jar of vaseline and a cat skull in here. Ross Geller : Still... this is amazing... Oh my god, thank you, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome. And thank you for \"Science Boy\". I learned a lot from him. Ross Geller : You're welcome. Joey Tribbiani : \"I need an answer!\" Lennart : \"I-I-I can't tell you somethin' I don't know.\" Joey Tribbiani : \"You know!\" Lennart : \"I don't know!\"", "summary": "Phoebe found a taped conversation from 1975 between two scientists (Ross and Lennart) discussing their groundbreaking research. They created a being known as \"Science Boy,\" who they believed would change the world. Ross is ecstatic to find the recording, while Phoebe is unsure if it's worth anything. Joey interrupts, demanding an answer from Lennart regarding his knowledge of the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : \"I need an answer now!\" Lennart : \"Alright, here, you want an answer... the answer... is...\" Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Lennart : \"She never loved me, she only loved you.\" Joey Tribbiani : \"You knew this all along and you never told me? You never told me? I can never forgive you, I can never forgive myself, I have nothing to live for Bang End Scene!\" Lennart : Absolutely amazing! The part is yours. Joey Tribbiani : Oh thanks, thanks! Now, I really have to get. Lennart : Wa-wa-wa-wait! Congratulations! You did it! You did it! You can relax now. Yeah. Monica Geller : Wow, that's a big cable bill! Huh, you don't have a job, but you have no problem ordering porn... on a Saturday afternoon?! I was in the house! Ross Geller : Hey, uhm, Phoebe didn't by any chance mention that.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani discovering that his former love interest never loved him and only loved his best friend. This revelation leads to a dramatic outburst from Joey, who feels betrayed and has lost all sense of purpose in life. The scene ends with Joey thanking Lennart for the part and Monica commenting on their cable bill."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : ... that she was the huge guy that mugged you? Yah. Ross Geller : I see. You didn't happen to tell. Monica Geller : ... everybody we know? Yeah. Ross Geller : Great. Thanks! Chandler Bing : Did you see our bank statement? Can this be right? Monica Geller : I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money? Chandler Bing : I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron. Monica Geller : I guess with you doing the internship, we're just spending more than we're bringing in. Chandler Bing : Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays. Monica Geller : Oh, But you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you love was y'know... finding gold.", "summary": "Monica and Ross discuss a mugging incident where Monica didn't tell anyone about it, including Rachel. Chandler finds their bank statement and is shocked by how much money they've spent without bringing in enough income, leading to a discussion about Enron and whether or not Chandler should quit his internship to find a better-paying job."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer? Monica Geller : Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents. Chandler Bing : No! We're not borrowing money. Monica Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money. Monica Geller : Wow! I Had no idea you had this much pride. Chandler Bing : That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard. Mike Hannigan : I'm gonna go. Phoebe Buffay : Why?? Mike Hannigan : I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.", "summary": "Bings are struggling financially and disagree on how to handle it (borrowing money or cutting back). Chandler has pride and insists they won't borrow, while Monica suggests worst-case scenario is borrowing from her parents. Mike leaves to get more clothes after being away for a couple of days."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you. Mike Hannigan : I put that tube top on as a joke. Phoebe Buffay : I want you to stay. Mike Hannigan : I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can.. Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you turn them inside ou... Mike Hannigan : Done it. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Phoebe Buffay : I'll miss you. Mike Hannigan : Me too. You know what? I just realised something. I don't wanna go home. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Ok...I'll go get the tube top. Mike Hannigan : No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?", "summary": "Mike doesn't want to go home after a night out with Phoebe, and confesses he hates going back to his apartment because it's above a crack den. Phoebe suggests they move in together as a solution, and Mike agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say \"Hell yeah!\" Mike Hannigan : So we're doing it? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! Oh god, we're really going to move in together! Mike Hannigan : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : I've always wanted to live with a guy. \"Pick up your socks!\" \"Put down the toilet seat!\" \"No! We're not having sex anymore!\" It's gonna be fun! Monica Geller : Hey Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good......But wrong. Monica Geller : Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.", "summary": "Phoebe and Mike are moving in together, much to Phoebe's excitement. Monica asks Joey to keep a secret from Chandler, but Joey reveals that he has also thought about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake. Monica Geller : But Chandler lent you money! Joey Tribbiani : And I think he would tell you it was a mistake. Monica Geller : Come on...I just need it for some rent and..and some other bills. Joey Tribbiani : Oh...how much? Monica Geller : Two thousand dollars? Joey Tribbiani : Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!? Monica Geller : Yeah... Joey Tribbiani : That's right I am! Rachel Green : Hi you guys!", "summary": "Monica needs $2000 for rent and bills. Joey doesn't want to lend her money, but Chandler did lend him money in the past."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Oo...what's in the bag? Rachel Green : Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. \"Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!\" or er.. \"Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!\" Huh! Monica Geller : Anyway erm, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff? Rachel Green : No. I was just going to do this myself. Joey Tribbiani : You're gonna do it? Rachel Green : Yeah, Why? You don't think a woman can do this? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, women can. You can't. Rachel Green : Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?", "summary": "Rachel baby-proofs the apartment after realizing it's unsafe for Emma's crawling. Joey thinks this is unnecessary and makes jokes about his own childhood mishaps. Monica supports Rachel's decision and tries to reason with Joey, who continues to make sexist remarks."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You're a pig. And you can't do this. Rachel Green : Wha!? What!? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself! Joey Tribbiani : The hardware store is right down the street. Rachel Green : There is a hardware store right down the street? Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Ok, we've got great news. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe and I are moving in together. Chandler Bing : Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great! Phoebe Buffay : I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before. Monica Geller : Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing \"This is what my sister would look like\" Chandler Bing : Yeah.... she's not so cute.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel find a hardware store on their own, while Joey points out its proximity. Phoebe and Mike are moving in together, and Chandler congratulates them. Monica jokes about living with a guy, but warns Rachel about makeup theft."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well you put down the toilet seat. Mike Hannigan : Yes dear. Monica Geller : Is that a bit you guys do? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh...we're playing you two. Monica Geller : We don't do that! Tell her we don't do that! Chandler Bing : Yes dear. Ross Geller : I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys.. Monica Geller : I hear wedding bells. Phoebe Buffay : Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe are moving in together and Monica is excited for them. However, Ross is skeptical and thinks they're rushing into things. Meanwhile, Chandler tries to intervene and Phoebe reveals that she can see herself getting married to Mike one day."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional. Phoebe Buffay : I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom! Mike Hannigan : You ready to go? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! You bet roomy! Monica Geller : Don't you mean..groomy? Mike Hannigan : What are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. Phoebe Buffay : China patterns!!!!! Rachel Green : This is easy...Can't do this! Oh! Wow! Seriously I can't do this. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe!", "summary": "Phoebe is surprised to learn she is conventional, wants to be a soccer mom, and is overwhelmed by wedding planning with Monica and Chandler. Rachel struggles with choosing a china pattern."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it. Joey Tribbiani : I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica. Chandler Bing : And that would have made the official party line. Monica and I are having a little financial trouble. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know. Chandler Bing : What? What do you mean you know? Joey Tribbiani : Err... I just figured it out! You know, I mean you're not working and the economy is bad. Chandler Bing : Oh! Right. Joey Tribbiani : That's the fastest I have ever thought! Chandler Bing : Anyway, err... I need to borrow some money.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are having financial troubles, but they don't want to tell Joey or Ross about it. Joey mistakenly assumes he knows what's going on and offers to help without being told."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars? Chandler Bing : Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! Joey Tribbiani : Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. Chandler Bing : Oh ok. Joey Tribbiani : I am on fire! Chandler : Listen...this is really nice. Do you... Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you? Joey Tribbiani : Err... Kind of. Chandler Bing : I can't believe her! Did she tell you we were having money problems? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no no no no no... It wasn't... It wasn't because of your money problems, it was for something for her. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Something personal.", "summary": "Joey lends Chandler $2000 without his knowledge or consent, claiming he knows how much Chandler makes and how much his rent is. Chandler is surprised and asks if Monica borrowed money from Joey, but Joey insists it's for a personal reason."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about? Woman : Excuse me. Joey Tribbiani : Boob job. Monica Geller : I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy! Joey Tribbiani : Well it's...It's not that crazy okay? Making them smaller, that would be crazy. Mike Hannigan : Well hey, I wanna ask you about Monica's little \"groomy\" joke. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy. Mike Hannigan : I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! No no! Not at all. We're just moving in right now. See where it goes. Mike Hannigan : Yeah well, that's the thing. For me it's as far as it can ever go.", "summary": "Monica gets a surprise gift of $2000 from her secret admirer, leading to speculation about what she could have bought with the money. Joey suggests a boob job, but Monica is hesitant and defensive. Mike brings up an old joke about Monica's \"groomy\" and Phoebe explains the play on words. As they move in together, Mike expresses his reservations about living with Monica without a proposal in sight."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean? Mike Hannigan : Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Wow. Mike Hannigan : It's just my first marriage was, you know such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea. Phoebe Buffay : Was it really that bad? Mike Hannigan : At one point near the end she deliberately defecated..... Phoebe Buffay : Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean. Mike Hannigan : Look it's not about who I would marry. And I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. And I was totally wrong! Phoebe Buffay : But it's just... Mike Hannigan : Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.", "summary": "Mike does not want to get married again after his first marriage ended in disaster."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Mike Hannigan : I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea. Phoebe Buffay : No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister! Mike Hannigan : Trust me, I will never... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I get that. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : So you gave in and decided to call someone? Rachel Green : Yeah, I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks. Handyman : You're all set. Rachel Green : Oh thank you so much. Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game.", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe are considering moving in together, but Mike is hesitant and wants to make sure Phoebe is okay with it. Phoebe reassures him that she doesn't want to get married and just wanted to check if he had any interest. Rachel joins the conversation and mentions that she can barely use chopsticks. Handyman arrives with a game for Mike."}
-{"dialogues": "Handyman : Thanks..... Chandler Bing : Hey Rach! There she is...My perfectly proportioned wife. Rachel Green : Don't look at me I never get his jokes. Monica Geller : Thank you? Chandler Bing : Oh no..don't thank me. Thank you. You know there's not one thing I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not... two... single things. Monica Geller : Ok, you're being wierd. Do you want sex or did you do something bad? Chandler Bing : No no! I just love the way you look, I am warm, for your form. Monica Geller : Ok..You know the old classics you know,You look nice? They're still ok. Chandler Bing : Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger. Monica Geller : Okay...", "summary": "Chandler makes a comment about Rachel's appearance, which leads to a series of confusing and flirtatious exchanges between him and Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I mean, You wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that. Rachel Green : Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any wierder. Monica Geller : I know why do you think he was so worried about me getting bigger? Rachel Green : I don't know! I mean, what brought that on? Monica Geller : Oh my god. We're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is going to change. Rachel Green : No you really think that's what it is? Monica Geller : You heard him! \"No bigger!\" \"You're perfect!\" \"Just don't get any bigger!\" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler. Rachel Green : Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. God! It's just such a magical time! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are trying to get pregnant, but Chandler is freaking out about Monica's body changing. He doesn't want her to get any bigger."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage. Ross Geller : Oh great now you're seeking me out to make jokes? I mean I can see for all hanging out but to come to my home! Phoebe Buffay : No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it. Ross Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Mike doesn't ever wanna get married. Ross Geller : Never? Phoebe Buffay : Never. Ross Geller : wow, are you still going to move in with him? Phoebe Buffay : I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks! Ross Geller : Yeah, marriage... stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to know how Ross feels about marriage, but he's not enthusiastic about it. He thinks it's a big deal and that Mike's lack of interest in getting married is understandable. Ross and Phoebe have a humorous conversation about the perceived downsides of marriage, with Ross joking that men tend to gain weight and women stop shaving once they're married."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : That's not how you really feel is it? Ross Geller : No, I'm sorry. Look I don't think that's what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I love marriage. Phoebe Buffay : Seriously? You divorce-o? Ross Geller : If you have to call me name, I prefer \"Ross the Divorcer\". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : It's ok that's how you feel. Ross Geller : But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike. Phoebe Buffay : I do love Mike. Ross Geller : Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks. Ross Geller : The Divorcer, to the rescue!", "summary": "Ross loves marriage despite being divorced, and he expresses his feelings to Phoebe. He believes that living together will be great and that Mike is a good influence on Rachel. Phoebe understands Ross's perspective and thanks him for opening up."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It's not cooler. Ross Geller : Yeah I just hurt it. Joey Tribbiani : Rach?! Rachel!!!!? So I can't do anything I like???? Chandler Bing : Hey Rach! Ah........ Perfection. Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing. Monica Geller : Honey? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : About that? Erm...I'm going to change. Chandler Bing : But honey you don't have to. Monica Geller : I'm going to get bigger! Chandler Bing : Honey I... I love your breasts the way they are!", "summary": "Ross hurt Rachel's foot, Joey is worried about her, and Chandler makes a comment about Monica's body."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Argh. fascist. Monica Geller : Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too. Chandler Bing : your ass?!?!? Rachel Green : Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too! Chandler Bing : They...do that? Monica Geller : It's kind of a package deal! Chandler Bing : God why why would you want to do that to yourself!? Monica Geller : I thought I was something that we both wanted! Chandler Bing : Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet? Rachel Green : Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!?", "summary": "Monica wants to get bigger breasts, but Chandler is against it. Monica thinks they both want this, but Chandler is freaked out by the idea. The conversation continues with them discussing other body parts that may also grow, including hands and feet."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What? Rachel Green : Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job? Joey Tribbiani : Because she is! Monica Geller : Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money. Joey Tribbiani : Mmmm hmm! For your boob job! Chandler Bing : It's over/Joe! Joey Tribbiani : OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger? Ross Geller : Hey! What do you guys think about this. \"Ross: The Divorce-Force\". Phoebe Buffay : Better. Mike Hannigan : Very cool.", "summary": "Monica is getting a boob job, but Joey accidentally tells Chandler before revealing it to Rachel. Monica admits she borrowed money for the procedure from Joey, who denies knowing anything about it. The group discusses Ross's new business idea, \"Ross: The Divorce-Force.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah, no, thanks you. Ross Geller : Good, good. Yeah coz the more I thought about it, the more I realised I don't think marriage is neccessarily the right path for you. Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean? Ross Geller : Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo? Phoebe Buffay : They are awfully boxy... Ross Geller : I don't know you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so... normal. Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh. Ross Geller : Hey hey, can I help? Chandler Bing : Well! We er..climbed up four flights of stairs, manueveored a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pitbul... but these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.", "summary": "Ross helps Phoebe see that marriage may not be the right path for her, as she is more suited to being unconventional and non-traditional. Meanwhile, Chandler and Joey are trying to navigate a difficult delivery process."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You know sometimes your words... they hurt. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, where do you guys want this? Rachel Green : Yeah, seriously coz this is really heavy. I mean not for me because i'm only pretending to hold this, but for these guys. Phoebe Buffay : Just one last time erm... the marriage thing... there's no wiggle room? None at all? Mike Hannigan : No but... You don't want to get married either right? Phoebe Buffay : Right. Except that I do want to get married. Joey Tribbiani : Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh? Mike Hannigan : You wanna get married? Phoebe Buffay : Someday. Chandler Bing : Aaaaand....... hernia.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to get married someday but doesn't want to pressure Mike. Joey and Rachel discuss a heavy object they need to move, and Ross reveals that his words can hurt."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff. Mike Hannigan : But if you wanna get married why didn't you say something before? Phoebe Buffay : Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you. Mike Hannigan : I want to live with you too! Let's do that! Phoebe Buffay : But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen. Mike Hannigan : Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage. Phoebe Buffay : Are you gonna change yours? Mike Hannigan : No. Phoebe Buffay : Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want. Mike Hannigan : But I don't want this to end.", "summary": "Phoebe wants to get married and live with Mike, but she is hesitant because she doesn't know if she wants it. Mike suggests they try living together first, but Phoebe is unsure because she doesn't want to be in a relationship where nothing is ever going to happen. They discuss their feelings and decide to be honest about what they want from each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I don't want it to end either. Mike Hannigan : I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff packed up. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Mike Hannigan : Ok... so... Goodbye. Chandler Bing : Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now! Rachel Green : I'm so sorry Pheebs. Monica Geller : We're all sorry... Chandler Bing : Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. Joey Tribbiani : AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ready to go?", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe don't want their friendship to end, but Mike prepares for moving out. Chandler says goodbye, and Rachel apologizes as the friends pack up the apartment. Joey takes advantage of the situation by gathering as many belongings as he can carry."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh yeah, let me just finish this. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, check this out! yeah, I can't do that! Chandler Bing : What are you doin'? Ross Geller : Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to. Chandler Bing : Great, a faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless . Ross Geller : It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich? Chandler Bing : The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you? Ross Geller : Uh uh... well, her Internet Company went under and she lost an ear in a boating accident... Chandler Bing : Bet she'd sleep with you now... Ross Geller : No... I already e-mailed her.", "summary": "Ross discovers an alumni website where he can post updates about his life. He shows it to Joey and Chandler, who are uninterested. Ross brings up an old classmate, Andrea Rich, who had an unfortunate accident. Joey and Chandler make inappropriate comments."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Let me see what you wrote about yourself: \"Doctor Paleontology, two kids... \" You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest! Ross Geller : You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? Chandler Bing : Maybe we finish this for him! \"Also I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She's now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says. It's the best sex I've ever had\"... aaand SEND! Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no... what do... you can't do that to him! Ross Geller : Alright, let's go! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! Ross Geller : I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house! Joey Tribbiani : aaand SEND! Opening credits.", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nChandler Bing and Ross Geller discuss their relationship issues, while Joey Tribbiani tries to join in. Chandler reveals he has cloned a dinosaur as his girlfriend and doesn't care about societal norms. Meanwhile, Joey tries to help Ross with his inability to handle the ball inside the house."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! How was basketball? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye! Rachel Green : Oh, no! Who did that? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler... hey... Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? Rachel Green : She was just crawling around and she found him, so I just let her sleep with him. That's all right? Isn't it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah... of course... yeah... it's a stuffed animal... you know... it's for kids... not for adults... I know that! Rachel Green : Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him! Joey Tribbiani : Rachel... let's be clear on this, ok? I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount... Rachel Green : All right... Oh, Emma loves him! Joey Tribbiani : Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!", "summary": "Chandler gets hurt during basketball, and Emma crawls into the room and starts sleeping with Hugsy, which makes Joey uncomfortable."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better? Phoebe Buffay : Breaking up sucks! Oh, I really miss Mike! Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm so sorry! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this... Chandler Bing : You're not gonna need my help? Phoebe Buffay : Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you. Chandler Bing : Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that. Monica Geller : Ok, you got it!", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is going through a breakup with Mike and is struggling to cope with the emotional pain. She turns to her friends Monica and Chandler for support, but Chandler's attempts at mocking jokes about Mike only make Phoebe more upset. Despite knowing she did the right thing in ending the relationship, Phoebe can't help but miss Mike and fears she will soon want to see him again."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said. Monica Geller : Really? If that's what you want... Phoebe Buffay : That was a test and you just failed. Monica Geller : Damn it! Rookie mistake! Ross Geller : I have sex with dinosaurs?? Chandler Bing : I believe I read that somewhere! Ross Geller : That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... It's not funny!! Chandler Bing : I respectfully disagree. Ross Geller : I can't believe you put that on my alumni page! Chandler Bing : Who cares? Nobody reads those things.", "summary": "Ross has sex with dinosaurs, Monica fails a test, and Chandler disagrees with Ross about the humor in his alumni page post."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today. Chandler Bing : I don't have a page. Ross Geller : Oh oh oh! I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!! Joey Tribbiani : Look at you, all sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel... with Emma's chubby little hands wrapped around ya. It's okay, Emma, you stay asleep. Rachel Green : : Step away from the crib, I have a weapon! Joey Tribbiani : It's okay, it's okay Rach, it's me. Put down the scrunchy. Rachel Green : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came to make sure she could reach Hugsy. Rachel Green : Oh, oh thanks. Alright well, now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : There you go sweetie... This isn't over.", "summary": "Ross reads Chandler's page and disagrees with what he wrote about Ross. Joey tries to comfort Emma in her crib but Rachel intervenes."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... \"gay as the day is long\"? Chandler Bing : Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs. Monica Geller : But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. Chandler Bing : Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day. Monica Geller : Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge. Chandler Bing : Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go . Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Oh, you'll see my friend. Ross Geller : I'm dead? Chandler Bing : And so young.", "summary": "Ross tells everyone in Chandler's class that he is \"gay as the day is long\" after Chandler revealed to everyone that Ross slept with dinosaurs. Chandler is shocked and upset by this revelation, and Monica tries to defuse the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Posting that I died? That really isn't funny. Chandler Bing : Well, how you died was funny. Ross Geller : Oh please, hit by a blimp? Chandler Bing : It kills over one americans every year. Ross Geller : Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dead, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here. Chandler Bing : You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West! Ross Geller : You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic. Phoebe Buffay : God, I wish Mike were here. Monica Geller : Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing? Monica Geller : What are you, animals? It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon!", "summary": "Ross dies after being hit by a blimp, causing chaos among his friends. Chandler upsets Ross's parents with a fake death announcement, while Phoebe wishes Mike were present to help her deal with the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that. Monica Geller : Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. Give me your phone. Phoebe Buffay : Here. Monica Geller : And now your cell. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : This is your cellphone? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Monica Geller : This is your current cellphone? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, it reminds me of a simpler time. Monica Geller : Phoebe, where's your purse?", "summary": "Phoebe wants to call her ex-boyfriend but Monica convinces her not to by warning about the potential consequences of reconnecting with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, no! Give it to me! Phoebe Buffay : You can't have it. Monica Geller : Give it to me! Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : I'll go in there. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. Monica Geller : Phoebe come here. Monica Geller : Haha! Phoebe Buffay : Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, look who's here! It's Joey, and he brought home a friend.", "summary": "Monica wants something from Phoebe but Phoebe refuses to give it to her. Monica tries to take it by force, but Phoebe fends her off. Joey enters the scene with a new friend."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, it's not a girl, it's... a brand new Hugsy! Rachel Green : Oh that's so great, now Emma has two Hugsy's. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back. Rachel Green : Oh you know what? When I was a little girl I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh I loved her so much, I took her everywhere, I would braid her tail... Joey Tribbiani : Make the transfer! Rachel Green : Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago. Rachel Green : Oh, I don't think she likes the new Hugsy. Joey Tribbiani : But he's the same.", "summary": "Joey brings home a new stuffed animal, but Emma already has one that looks similar. Rachel had a pony when she was younger named Cotton, which she loved and took everywhere. Joey swallowed a button from an old stuffed animal. Emma does not like the new Hugsy."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah, I think she wants the old one back. Joey Tribbiani : But he's the same. Rachel Green : Joey, come on! Joey Tribbiani : He's the same! . Joey Tribbiani : You're not the same! Monica Geller : Haha! Phoebe Buffay : You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building. Monica Geller : So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door. Phoebe Buffay : Those are my shoes. Monica Geller : Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.", "summary": "Rachel wants an old boyfriend's belongings back, Joey defends him, and Monica makes a joke about Phoebe's shoe situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now. Monica Geller : Who's that? Phoebe Buffay : I ordered Chinese food. Phoebe Buffay : What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!? Monica Geller : What are you doing here? Mike Hannigan : Phoebe called me. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him. Monica Geller : Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him? Phoebe Buffay : There is a speakerphone on the base unit...", "summary": "Phoebe orders Chinese food and ends up talking to an old flame who she hasn't seen in years. Despite Monica's efforts to keep her company, Phoebe insists on being alone and breaks down in tears when Mike arrives at the door."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Base Unit! Think Monica! Think! Mike Hannigan : Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see... Monica Geller : This doesn't concern you!! Mike Hannigan : Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name! Monica Geller : Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder. Phoebe Buffay : Not if nothing happens. Why can't... why can't we just hang out as friends? Monica Geller : Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend and Mike's friend . Phoebe Buffay : Sit down. Monica Geller : Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend! Mike Hannigan : So how've you been?", "summary": "Monica tries to stop Phoebe and Mike from spending time together, but Phoebe insists they can still be friends. Monica agrees to join them, but only if they're just hanging out as friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I've been pretty good! Mike Hannigan : You look really beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks, you look good too. Monica Geller : Oh no no no no... this is dangerous territory. Keep it clean! Phoebe Buffay : So how's the piano playing going? Mike Hannigan : Actually I've been playing a lot of love songs lately. I've missed you. Phoebe Buffay : I've missed you too. Monica Geller : You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it! Chandler Bing : Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... ..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me? Ross Geller : uhu uhu, check this out.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe exchange compliments before Monica becomes uncomfortable with the conversation taking a romantic turn. Mike reveals he's been playing love songs on the piano and misses Phoebe. Chandler enters and apologizes for making gay pictures of Ross, which Ross shows him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya? Ross Geller : Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little \"Ross is dead\" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!? Chandler Bing : No, come on, you know that's not true. Ross Geller : What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead! Chandler Bing : Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community. Ross Geller : I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy! Chandler Bing : Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief. Ross Geller : You're right. There isn't a decent outlet. Chandler Bing : Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come. Ross Geller : Exactly!!", "summary": "Ross is upset because he didn't receive any responses on a website where he pretended to be dead, while Chandler points out that the gay community is more vocal than the dead community."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? You're having a memorial service for yourself!? Ross Geller : No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me! Chandler Bing : Ross, don't press send, don't press se... ! Ross Geller : oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man... Rachel Green : I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy? Joey Tribbiani : Original or crappy? Rachel Green : Original. Joey Tribbiani : No, sorry haven't seen him. Rachel Green : Then what's that big lump under your covers? Joey Tribbiani : It's Monica, ok?", "summary": "Ross is having a memorial service for himself, but Chandler accidentally sends the invitation to everyone. Meanwhile, Rachel tries to put Emma down for a nap and asks Joey if he has seen Hugsy, while Joey deals with a big lump under his covers that turns out to be Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : That's not Monica! Joey Tribbiani : Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him.. Rachel Green : Oh God. Joey Tribbiani : ... she's being unreasonable! Rachel Green : Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much Oh don't cover its ears! It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey! Joey Tribbiani : It does? Rachel Green : Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much. Joey Tribbiani : Really? She... she loves me? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever . Joey Tribbiani : Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.", "summary": "Emma loves a stuffed penguin named Hugsy because it reminds her of her uncle Joey, who passed away. Joey wants Hugsy for himself, but Rachel convinces him to give it to Emma since she really cares about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. Look Emma, look who's baaack! Joey Tribbiani : Look forget it forget it... I can't do it. Rachel Green : Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child? Joey Tribbiani : How do you think I got him in the first place? Monica Geller : Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it. Mike Hannigan : I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard? Mike Hannigan : It can't be any harder than this... I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped. Monica Geller : Kiss him, you fool!! Phoebe Buffay : What?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel's relationship is put to the test when Mike Hannigan arrives at the apartment, wanting to spend one last night with Phoebe. Meanwhile, Joey struggles with the idea of giving up Hugsy, his beloved teddy bear, and Monica tries to keep the peace in the bathroom before her departure."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I missed you so much! Strange Man : I knew you'd be here! Mike Hannigan : Oh, crap! Phoebe Buffay : Who is this? Mike Hannigan : My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you. Monica Geller : Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe! Manny : Well, you are not doing a very good job! Monica Geller : Excuse me? Manny : What's with the kissing?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are at Central Perk when they overhear a strange man threatening to kiss Phoebe. Monica tries to intervene but the man reveals he is there to keep Mike away from Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, at least I knew where my guy was. Manny : Oh yeah yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing! Monica Geller : You didn't hear the speech! Manny : I've heard the speech: \"if he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her... \" Monica Geller : Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless! Manny : You're weak! Monica Geller : You're... weird! Manny : Your pants are undone! Monica Geller : Oh ! Manny : Where did they go?", "summary": "Monica found out her boyfriend was cheating and gave a moving speech about it, but Manny wasn't moved. They argued and Monica realized Manny was heartless."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Damn it! Manny : Oh we blew it. I blame myself. Monica Geller : And I blame you too. Ross Geller : It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted! Chandler Bing : There you go! Someone came! Ross Geller : Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! Monica Geller : Hi, glad you could come. Chandler Bing : Please, come in. Tom : Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class. Chandler Bing : Oh yes, yes... let me... take your coat.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang mourns the death of Ross's cat, Mr. Gasket, but no one shows up to the funeral."}
-{"dialogues": "Tom : Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's... Chandler Bing : At least he died doing what he loved... watching blimps. Ross Geller : Who is he? Chandler Bing : Some guy, Tom Gordon. Ross Geller : I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. Monica Geller : So, did you know Ross well? Tom : Oh, actually I barely knew him. Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news. D'you know if he's seeing anyone? Monica Geller : Yes, he is. Me. Tom : What? You... You... Oh! Can I ask you a personal question? Ho-how do you shave your beard so close? Chandler Bing : Ok Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go, bye bye!!", "summary": "Ross died while watching blimps. Tom barely knew him and came to pay his respects. Monica revealed that Chandler is dating her. Chandler joked about Ross's death and quickly changed the subject when Tom asked how he shaved his beard."}
-{"dialogues": "Tom : Hey, listen. Call me. Chandler Bing : Ok! Ross Geller : I'm dead and no one cares? Monica Geller : I look like a man?? Chandler Bing : Please, one ridiculous problem at a time! Ross Geller : It isn't ridiculous, look around! No one's here! Chandler Bing : You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand! Ross Geller : Yes, you're right. Still somebody must have seen it... I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something? Ross Geller : Yeah... Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang gathers to discuss a recent event where Ross gave only one day's notice for a reunion, leading to low attendance. Chandler and Monica argue about how she looks like a man, while Ross tries to convince them that the lack of attendees is not ridiculous."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. Kori : Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service. Chandler Bing : Kori? Kori Weston? Kori : Yeah... Chandler Bing : Wow! You look amazing! Kori : And you are... Chandler Bing : Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all. Monica Geller : You are married though. Chandler Bing : Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! Kori : I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.", "summary": "Kori Weston attends Ross Geller's memorial service and runs into Chandler Bing, who is not gay despite his past claims to the contrary."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I didn't know Ross and you were so close. Kori : We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him. Chandler Bing : I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently. Kori : I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance. Ross Geller : But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people! Kori : You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! Ross Geller : Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!! Ross Geller : No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. Monica? Joey Tribbiani : Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche? Monica Geller : Ok.", "summary": "Ross and Kori had a class together in the past, but they didn't know each other well until recently when Kori revealed that she had a crush on him. Despite being alive, Ross was confused by this revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Alright! Monica Geller : But ehm...what is it not? Joey Tribbiani : A place to entertain my lady friends. Monica Geller : And what else is it not? Joey Tribbiani : A place to eat spaghetti. Monica Geller : Very good! What do you need it for anyway? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so... Rachel Green : Oh! So you're driving up to Connecticut? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia. Monica Geller : Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself!", "summary": "Joey wants to use Chandler and Monica's apartment for entertaining his lady friends, but Monica objects. Joey also reveals that he's going to Connecticut to buy Powerball lottery tickets, not West Virginia. Monica offers to drive him there, expressing interest in buying tickets herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh! Monica Geller : Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars. Chandler Bing : Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Hey will you get me tickets too? Rachel Green : Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it! Everyone almost simultaneously except Ross: yeah thats a great idea! Ross Geller : No thanks! Phoebe Buffay : You don't wanna win the lottery? Ross Geller : Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart. Chandler Bing : Still on Amelia Earhart? Ross Geller : The woman just vanished!", "summary": "The group discusses a potential lottery win and how they could use the money, with Chandler not getting paid and Monica suggesting they need $300 million. Phoebe asks for tickets and Rachel agrees, but Ross quickly shoots down the idea, saying he doesn't want to win the lottery. Chandler brings up Amelia Earhart again, and Ross continues to express his skepticism about winning the lottery."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this? Ross Geller : No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times. Chandler Bing : Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times. Joey Tribbiani : I like those odds! Ross Geller : Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki. Chandler Bing : I'll ask. Boohaki? Ross Geller : Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her. Rachel Green : Yeah so get ready to hear alot of ehm...boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker. Monica Geller : How do you know she's gonna start talking? Rachel Green : Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are skeptical of Joey and the others' plan to spend $250 on the lottery, with Ross citing the extremely low odds of winning. Meanwhile, Rachel predicts that Emma will start talking soon, causing the group to be cautious with their language around her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Kinda like Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What's that now? Opening credits. Monica Geller : God! Look at all these tickets! It's so exciting! You know I haven't won anything since the sixth grade. Chandler Bing : Pie eating contest? Monica Geller : Oh! You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something? Chandler Bing : No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries. Monica Geller : That was a good day! Ross Geller : They're towing your car, they're towing your car!! Monica Geller : I'm parked in a garage on Morton! Ross Geller : They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots.", "summary": "Monica wins tickets and becomes excited, while Chandler brings up an old picture of her covered in blueberries. Ross is having car troubles and sees spots."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! Where's Emma? Who has Emma!? Rachel Green : Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there! Joey Tribbiani : I was? Racel : Yes and you talked to her... Joey Tribbiani : I did? Rachel Green : She dropped off a casserole? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! The casserole lady. Monica Geller : So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks? Ross Geller : Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it! Chandler Bing : Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!!", "summary": "Emma is dropped off by her mother two hours ago. Joey and Rachel were present but don't remember. Monica and Ross discuss winning money and watching a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it. Chandler tries to retrieve the phone."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Think he washed his hands? Chandler Bing : Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know? Rachel Green : What's going on? Monica Geller : Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Tough odds! Ross Geller : Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery! Joey Tribbiani : Look who's coming around! Chandler Bing : Damnit. Alright call me when you know more. Joey Tribbiani : Did you get it? Chandler Bing : One of the slots got filled.", "summary": "Chandler is competing with 14 other interns for three assistant jobs at his advertising agency, but one of the positions has already been filled."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : By you!? Chandler Bing : Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it. Monica Geller : Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants! Chandler Bing : Yeah I know. Rachel Green : Well, there's two spots left right? Chandler Bing : Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight! Monica Geller : Hey that reminds me, I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work. Ross Geller : A psychic AND a wishbone? Guys! Give someone else a chance! Monica Geller : Alright, who wants to do it?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey argue over a lottery ticket, while Monica brings a wishbone from work to bring luck. Phoebe believes she will win the lottery, but Ross disagrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses! Monica Geller : Ok, hey Rach? Rachel Green : Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands. Joey Tribbiani : I'll do it!! It'll get the casserole stink off of mine. Phoebe Buffay : I hope I win! Monica Geller : Well, it doesn't really matter ... you're both wishing for the same thing, right? Joey Tribbiani : I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true! Monica Geller : Right! .. but we \"know\" what you're wishing for! Joey Tribbiani : Can't really say! Monica Geller : I understand, but you're wishing for what we think you're wishing for, aren't you?", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica play a game of \"wishbone\" after Thanksgiving dinner. Joey and Rachel are hesitant to participate but end up joining in. The group makes wishes without revealing them to each other, with Monica and Phoebe trying to guess what the others are wishing for."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm not really comfortable with these questions! Chandler Bing : Please, just do it! Phoebe Buffay : One, two, three! Joey Tribbiani : I won, hey! Ross Geller : You know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys - just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! Ah!! That thing gets hot!! Rachel Green : You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win? Ross Geller : Uh, you're not gonna win. Rachel Green : Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like \"oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape\" and you're gonna be all like \"oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai\" Ross Geller : Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that. Chandler Bing : I can see the headline now: \"Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm\".", "summary": "The group plays a game of chance and wins. However, Ross is hesitant to celebrate, fearing he will be left with regret if they actually win. Chandler makes light of the situation by joking about regretful outcomes, while Phoebe attempts to remain optimistic."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Why would I eat my own arm? Chandler Bing : Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want. Monica Geller : You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you. Ross Geller : Why? Monica Geller : Because I know that you think the lottery is \"boohaki\" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this. Ross Geller : You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here. Phoebe Buffay : Get a room! Chandler Bing : Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win? Ross Geller : I don't know, probably just invest it. Chandler Bing : Ooh! Calm down ...", "summary": "Ross wants to pay for his own lottery ticket but Monica offers to cover the cost and invites him to join in on the fun with her and Chandler. When they win, Ross considers investing the money while Chandler becomes overly excited."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry, did I say \"invest it\"? I meant \"be cool and piss it all away\" Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks! Rachel Green : I don't really care about the Knicks. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward. Rachel Green : You would do that? I never get picked! Chandler Bing : You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go. Joey Tribbiani : You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks?? I can't believe you're taking this away from me! Chandler Bing : You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds. Ross Geller : Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?", "summary": "The group discusses buying a professional sports team, specifically the Knicks, with Joey and Rachel expressing varying levels of interest. Chandler raises doubts about the venture, and Joey becomes upset when his dream is threatened."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I'll take this one too Uh ... Mommy? Ross Geller : Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel \"Mommy\" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not ... Rachel Green : I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word. Ross Geller : Although if we're gonna do that, we should probably call me \"Daddy\" too. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, I like that, \"daddy\" Ross Geller : I ... I was just talking about Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, is daddy getting angry? Is daddy gonna spank me? Ross Geller : Well that depends ... have you been a baaad gi .. no I can't. Chandler Bing : Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel refer to her as \"Mommy\" around Emma in an attempt to get it to be her first word. Ross suggests they should also call him \"Daddy.\" Meanwhile, Chandler overhears a conversation about Susan getting a job at a bar and becomes jealous, joking that he would have slept with the new bartender. Joey offers one last spot for a drink at the bar."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well no, Charlie's gonna get that. Monica Geller : Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job! Chandler Bing : He's the boss's son. Monica Geller : Come on, lottery!! Rachel Green : Ooh, you guys, it starts in like 20 minutes. Monica Geller : Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first. Rachel Green : Ooh, I have another idea! Monica Geller : I'm sorry, idea time is over. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, well, are all the tickets in the bowl? Monica Geller : Yeah.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica argue over their chances of getting a job, with Chandler mentioning that Charlie's son has an advantage. Rachel reminds them that the lottery starts soon, and they must organize their tickets quickly to see if they have won. Monica suggests dividing the tickets into groups of 40 and reading them first to determine the winner. Phoebe asks if all the tickets are in the bowl, and Monica confirms that they are."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What about the ones you have on the nightstand? Monica Geller : There are no tickets on the nightstand! Chandler Bing : Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago. Monica Geller : Un, no you didn't! You must be mistaken! Chandler Bing : Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand! Monica Geller : Chandler, sense the tone!! Rachel Green : Well, well, well, look what mommy found!! Monica Geller : Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Uh! The psychic also said that I would be betrayed. Ross Geller : I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together!", "summary": "Chandler finds tickets on Monica's nightstand and accuses her of buying them. Monica denies it, but Chandler insists he saw them. They argue until Rachel finds them and reveals that Monica actually bought 20 extra tickets for herself and Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe is concerned about a psychic's prediction of betrayal."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, you just got in 5 minutes ago! Ross Geller : 3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ... Joey Tribbiani : I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those? Monica Geller : When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic! Joey Tribbiani : I'll show you how. Rachel Green : Ok, well Monica, suppose one of your \"special\" tickets win? How are you gonna feel when you win the lottery and you lose all your friends? Monica Geller : Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days! Rachel Green : Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong? Chandler Bing : She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ... Monica Geller : Ahhh!", "summary": "Monica buys lottery tickets for herself and her friends, but when she wins, they all think she will lose them as friends. Joey shows off his dirty magazines to Monica, who gets upset. Rachel teases Monica about her obsession with winning the lottery, and Chandler agrees that Monica shouldn't have bought tickets just for them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Let me finish ... however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! Monica Geller : There's the man I married!! Rachel Green : All right, believe me.If you win the lottery, it's the last you're gonna hear from us! Monica Geller : Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you! Rachel Green : OH! Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets ! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I want my tickets too ! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah! Ross Geller : Than I want mine, too ! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together. Monica Geller : No, no! We should divide them up and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea!", "summary": "Monica buys lottery tickets with Chandler, Rachel, and Joey. Monica wants to keep them together, but the others want to split them up. Chandler gets upset and says he can't afford to have principles if he doesn't get the job he was hoping for. Joey wants extra tickets because it was his idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery! Rachel Green : Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : OOOOOHHHHH! Ross Geller : Hey, hey!! Phoebe Buffay : OOOOOHHHHH! Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! Rachel Green : Oh, if she jumps, I get her tickets. Joey Tribbiani : No, no! Phoebe Buffay : If we are not doing it together, we're not doing it at all! So, say goodbye to your tickets! . #ALL# : NO!!", "summary": "Plot Summary: A group of friends debate and argue over a large sum of money won in a lottery."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Don't come any closer! Chandler Bing : Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished... Phoebe Buffay : No, what's more important, your friends or money? Chandler Bing : Friends! Monica Geller : Money! Friends... Phoebe Buffay : Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets? Monica Geller : They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra ... Ross Geller : Monica! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, good! You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this... Oh God, no! I think I broke your bowl. Ross Geller : Go, go, go!!", "summary": "Phoebe and Chandler argue over a bowl of valuable items, while Monica tries to hide extra tickets in her bra. When Phoebe accidentally breaks the bowl, the group screams in unison."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun. Monica Geller : Phoebe, we lost half of them. Phoebe Buffay : So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember? Ross Geller : Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon... Phoebe Buffay : As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. So, excuse me for being a little skittish. Chandler Bing : Hey, there's two messages. These could be from work! Monica Geller : Oh, play them! Chandler Bing : Ok, here we go! Message : \"Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise\" \"I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo.\" Phoebe Buffay : Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica are searching for tickets on a windy night, but they lose half of them. Phoebe's psychic predicted she would win, but didn't mention anything about a scary pigeon. Chandler finds two messages on his phone, one from the pigeon who knocked the tickets out of the woman's hand and apologizes for his actions."}
-{"dialogues": "Second Message : \"Hey Chandler, it's Charlie\" Chandler Bing : This is..shhh! Second Message : \"Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want.\" Monica Geller : Oh God, I am so sorry honey... #ALL# : Oh, so sorry man! Sorry! Rachel Green : Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work. Chandler Bing : Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren? Rachel Green : No, she was just much better at job than me! Phoebe Buffay : Guys, the drawing is about to start! Rachel Green : You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler work together on a project, but Monica gets the last spot, leaving Chandler disappointed. Rachel compares the situation to a past injustice at work where someone else got promoted over her. Phoebe interrupts with a reminder that the drawing is about to start. Monica and Chandler discuss calling Emma Goodnight before she goes down."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh yeah, it's a good idea! Monica Geller : Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job. Chandler Bing : Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right? Monica Geller : 131! Ross Geller : Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... Rachel Green : Hi mum, put her back on! Joey Tribbiani : Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing. TV: \"Here we are, the official Powerball numbers! We have 53\" Chandler Bing : I got that! Ross Geller : Oh, we have one too!! Monica Geller : We are on a roll, people!!", "summary": "Ross and Monica are discussing his job interview, with Chandler bringing up the idea of winning the lottery. Rachel joins in, and Joey starts getting excited about the Powerball numbers being announced on TV."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Come on!! Rachel Green : Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter? TV: \"And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7\" Monica Geller : Check your numbers! Make me rich! Rachel Green : Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!! #ALL# : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : And what did she say? Rachel Green : She said \"gleba\"!! Monica Geller : Make me rich!! Rachel Green : Isn't that amazing? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, no no no...that's great!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over Ross' new lips, while Monica checks her Powerball numbers. Emma says her first words, but Monica is more concerned with winning the lottery. Joey tries to guess what Emma said, and Rachel is amazed by the milestone."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Why-why aren't you more excited? Ross Geller : Oh, Rach...oh...\"gleba\" is not a word. Rachel Green : Oh, but of course it is! Ross Geller : Okay, what does it mean? Rachel Green : I don't know all the words. Ross Geller : I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words . Ross Geller : Yes you did, gleba is a word! Ross Geller : Ok, use it in a sentence. Rachel Green : Ok... \"Emma just said gleba\"! Ross Geller : It's not a word!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a conversation about the meaning of the made-up word \"gleba.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay, fine, I'm gonna look it up . Ross Geller : Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt.... Rachel Green : Alright, okay, okay, gleba, gleba... Gleba! Ha! Here it is: the fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi. Ross Geller : She's gonna be a scientist! Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! anybody got anything? Chandler Bing : No. Phoebe Buffay : I'm still looking through mine... Monica Geller : Just double checking ...no, no, no... No! Monica Geller : Hello? Hold on. It's your boss. Chandler Bing : Ah, the \"I'm sorry I rejected you\" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. Hey, Steve.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross argue over a word they both misheard while Monica double-checks her phone calls. Meanwhile, Joey and Chandler try to help Phoebe with her vocabulary, but she's too focused on her own search."}
-{"dialogues": "Steve : Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant. Chandler Bing : Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks! Steve : Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter. Chandler Bing : Me, that guy who just said butt cracks? Steve : Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job. Chandler Bing : Ok well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll see you tomorrow . Chandler Bing : What? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter. #ALL# : Oh my God, congratulations! Monica Geller : Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you! Chandler Bing : Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?", "summary": "Chandler is offered a job as a junior copywriter despite being the strongest person in the program. He is excited and grateful for the opportunity, but then jokes about answering phones and getting coffee. Monica congratulates him and asks if he will be getting good loving that night."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You bet! No TV or anything! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that is so great about the job. Chandler Bing : Thanks, man. Joey Tribbiani : And I like to think I had a little something to do with it. Chandler Bing : Really? What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, before, with the wishbone... I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Rachel Green : You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win. Ross Geller : Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park.", "summary": "Job offer for Chandler"}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You guys, what was the Powerball number again? Monica Geller : Seven. Phoebe Buffay : We won. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : We won! Monica Geller : Let me see! Phoebe Buffay : Don't tear it. Ross Geller : Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers. Phoebe Buffay : I know that, but look, we've got the Powerball number, we've won 3 dollars! Chandler Bing : Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica win the Powerball lottery, but their excitement is short-lived when they realize they only won $3."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I don't care, I've never won anything before, I can't believe this! Rachel Green : So Pheebs, what are you going to do with your $3? Phoebe Buffay : It's not all mine. We all get 50 cents. Monica Geller : You know what? You can have mine. Chandler Bing : Me too. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Rachel Green : Me too. Ross Geller : I guess if everybody else is... Closing credits. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won. Phoebe Buffay : I beg to differ .", "summary": "Phoebe wins $3 in a game and decides to share it with her friends. They all contribute 50 cents, and Phoebe uses the money to buy a lottery ticket. When nobody wins the Powerball jackpot, Phoebe correctly claims that she did win something - the friendship and support of her friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Gunther : Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 . Phoebe Buffay : Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! Seriously, stop staring at her. Joey Tribbiani : God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do. Joey: I want you.I need you.Let me make love to you. Rachel Green : I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything, but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good! Rachel Green : Woow!I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that was a disappointment... Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok? Rachel Green : Are you serious? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!Hey, you just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again. Rachel Green : Hey, that was an honest mistake!", "summary": "Jackpot winner found on street; Phoebe blamed for losing ticket; Joey desires Rachel; Rachel hesitant; Joey rehearses romantic lines on soap opera."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Right!\"Oh my God, is this the men's room? Oh, I feel so foolish, have you always known you wanted to be an actor?\" Rachel Green : Yeah, that was an awesome day! Opening credits. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Monica Geller : So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Ross Geller : I'd love to! Monica Geller : Well you can't! We're booked solid for the next month! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!", "summary": "Monica invites the gang to dinner at her restaurant, but they are all busy for the next month. Phoebe offers to give Ross a massage, but her license has been revoked."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Phoebe, what happened? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it was an accident...You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips! Chandler: Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no!You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for 7 years! Chandler Bing : What? No, I'm taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont ! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, good!Ok, good for you!Try to recapture the magic! Chandler Bing : So, what do you say? Can you get out of work? Monica Geller : Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant! Chandler Bing : Are you really that busy? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm sorry. I really am. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. \"Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? Oh, can't you make an exception?\"", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are planning a surprise romantic getaway, but their plans are foiled when Phoebe accidentally books the same inn for a work trip. Monica is too busy at the restaurant to go, and Chandler tries to reschedule the reservation but is met with difficulty."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Tell them I'm a chef in a big New York restaurant! Phoebe Buffay : And tell them that in 2 weeks I will once again be a masseuse in good standing! Chandler Bing : \"Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?\" \"Oh, thank you very much!\" Yeah, I'm going to Vermont... Ross Geller : Oh, don't worry about it! Just use your travel insurance. Chandler Bing : I don't have travel insurance. Ross Geller : Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge! Monica Geller : Why don't you take Ross? Ross Geller : Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn... Monica Geller : No, not if their room has two beds! Ross Geller : I guess...It still seems a little... moonlight boat ride!!", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are excited to share their recent career developments with Chandler and Ross. Monica will be working as a chef in a popular New York restaurant, while Phoebe will resume her massage therapy business after a two-week hiatus. Chandler is resistant to paying for an extra room, causing tension among the group. Ross suggests using his travel insurance to cover the cost, but Chandler reveals he doesn't have any insurance. Monica jokingly offers to take Ross with her to Vermont, while Ross hesitantly agrees due to the convenient accommodations."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes! Rachel Green : Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous! Joey Tribbiani : Also so gay! Rachel Green : Oh, in my head he's done some pretty \"not-gay-stuff\"! Joey Tribbiani : Well, at the Christmas party him and Santa did some definitely gay stuff! Director : Joey, Joey! We're ready for you! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, wish me luck! Rachel Green : Ok, not that you need it but good...GOD!Is that Chase Lassiter?He's straight, right? Joey Tribbiani : Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!", "summary": "Rachel Green and Joey Tribbiani discuss a scene from a movie where Olivia lost her virginity. Joey reveals that one of the extras did it, but Rachel is more interested in a handsome actor named Christian Sanders. Joey teases Rachel about Christian's sexuality, and they both make jokes about him doing \"not-gay stuff.\" They then move on to a Christmas party scene where Christian and Santa do some gay actions. The director calls for Joey, and he prepares for his scene with enthusiasm but also nervousness, as Rachel wonders if Chase Lassiter (a straight character) is also present."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry, you're right.I'm sorry, good luck! Director : On a bell please! Quietly.. and ACTION! Olivia: Drake! What are you doing in here? Dr. Drake Ramoray : Stopping you from marrying the wrong man and making the biggest mistake of your life. Olivia : Get out! Dr. Drake Ramoray : You don't love him! Olivia : What do you know about love? Dr. Drake Ramoray : I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge. Olivia : That kiss never happened. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Oh, what about this one. Rachel: OH! Olivia : No, I told you...get out!", "summary": "Olivia and Dr. Drake Ramoray have a confrontation over her relationship with Rachel's fianc\u00e9, leading to a dramatic showdown."}
-{"dialogues": "Dr. Drake Ramoray : Fine. I'll go. But let me ask you one question... Chase Lassiter : You look familiar, have we... Rachel Green : SSSHHHHTTT!!He's asking her a question!! Dr. Drake Ramoray : Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been? Olivia : I don't have a choice... Dr. Drake Ramoray : Yes, you do.Yes...you do. I'm the one who doesn't have a choice because I...because I can't stop loving you. Olivia : Don't say that... Dr. Drake Ramoray : Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. Director : CUT! Rachel Green : NO! Or, cut!You know, that's your call!", "summary": "Dr. Drake Ramoray and Olivia have unresolved feelings for each other, despite having made different choices in life. Dr. Drake Ramoray can't stop loving her, while Olivia must move on without him. The scene ends with a cut to the director, who may be commenting on the intensity of the emotions expressed by the characters."}
-{"dialogues": "1st Customer : Everything was delicious! Monica Geller : Thank you! 2nd Customer: It was. The duck in particular was superb. Monica Geller : Thank you! You haven't said anything... 3rd Customer: Actually I do have one small complaint. Monica Geller : Oh..please!I-I welcome criticism. 3rd Customer: The musician right outside the restaurant...it's kind of a mood-killer! Monica Geller : What musician? Phoebe Buffay : And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Ole! Monica Geller : What are you doing here! Phoebe Buffay : Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain! Monica Geller : Great! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, \"You suck\" and \"shut up and go home\".", "summary": "Plot Summary: Customers rave about the food at Monica's restaurant, with one customer particularly praising the duck. However, a musician outside the restaurant is causing a mood kill by playing loudly. Phoebe Buffay arrives to entertain the customers, but some of them have already seen her play before and request specific songs, including \"You Suck\" and \"Shut Up and Go Home.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Listen Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : You know how much I love listening to your music, you know, but... Phoebe Buffay : But what? Monica Geller : This is kind of a classy place. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, say no more. Phoebe Buffay : : It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! Classy, uh? Chandler Bing : Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation. Receptionist : Welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing, so where are you joining from? Chandler Bing : New York.", "summary": "Monica loves Phoebe's music but thinks it's not classy enough for their current location. Phoebe offends a previous customer by making fun of her weight and body odor. Chandler has a reservation at the hotel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : The big apple! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here. Ross Geller : Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody. Receptionist : I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer. Chandler Bing : Well, that's impossible, can you check again, please? Ross Geller : Check again please! Receptionist : I'm sorry, it's not here. Ross Geller : Not there. Chandler Bing : Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation? Receptionist : I don't know what to say.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler arrive at a hotel, but they do not have a reservation. The receptionist informs them that there is no record of their reservation in the computer, despite Chandler having made the reservation earlier. They become frustrated and argue with the receptionist, who apologizes for the inconvenience."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : She doesn't know what to say! Chandler Bing : Just give us the cheapest room you have. Receptionist : Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars. Chandler Bing : That's insane! Ross Geller : Totally insane. Dude, let's drive home, we'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back and if...if they're closed maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves. Chandler Bing : Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? We'll take it. Receptionist : Great. Chandler Bing : What!? They are totally ripping us off! Ross Geller : Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six! Chandler Bing : Great, at a hundred dollars an apple, we're there!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are trying to find a hotel room, but the only available room is very expensive. They consider other options, such as taping a tree to make maple syrup, before deciding to take the more expensive room."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : C'mon, you get the idea, ow-ow-ow we'll make our money back in no time! Chandler Bing : Dude, you're shaking! Ross Geller : I think it's the sugar, could you hold the apple? Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me! Rachel Green : God, you have to tell me what happens tomorrow! Joey Tribbiani : Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me? Rachel Green : Me? Oh, no, I am not an actress.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler try to make money by selling homemade jam, but Ross is shaking due to consuming too much sugar. Rachel joins the conversation and expresses her admiration for Joey's acting skills, which he humbly accepts while also taking credit for his success. The group discusses upcoming scenes in a script they are working on together."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, all right, I can ask Monica. Rachel Green : Oh screw her, that part is mine! Joey Tribbiani : Right... ok, so just from the top of the page, right here. Rachel Green : Okay. . Hello Drake, I'm surprised to see you here. Dr. Drake Ramoray : I can't believe you married him. Rachel Green : But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon! Dr. Drake Ramoray : So what about us? Everything we feel for each other. Rachel Green : It's over! You have to accept that. Dr. Drake Ramoray : How can I? Knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again, or touch your skin, or feel your lips, knowing I'll never make love to you? How can I accept that... I can never kiss you again when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now. Rachel Green : Kiss me.", "summary": "Rachel and Dr. Drake Ramoray have a complicated history together, with Rachel revealing that her sister was being held captive by Ross (Joey's friend). Despite this, Rachel married Ross anyway, leading to a tumultuous relationship between all parties involved. As the conversation progresses, Rachel and Dr. Drake rekindle their romantic feelings for each other, despite knowing it may never work out due to circumstances beyond their control."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Kiss me. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, Rach, it doesn't say that! Rachel Green : No, I'm saying... Joey Tribbiani : but, but.. Rachel Green : just... don't talk... Rachel Green : Ehhh, aw! . Well, that's new! Ross Geller : Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons. Ross: What did you get? Chandler Bing : USA Today. Ross Geller : Nice, put it with the others.", "summary": "Rachel tries to kiss Joey but he mistakes her for someone else. Ross receives complimentary toiletries in his room and asks for more items. Chandler brings up a newspaper."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : And I also got... two more apples. Ross Geller : We are four short of a bush-o . God I feel so alive, I love being in the country! Chandler Bing : I also got this great salt and pepper shaker from the restaurant. Ross Geller : Oh, that's not cool. Chandlers : Dude, none of this is cool. Ross Geller : No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt I wish I'd thought this through. Chandler Bing : I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs ...oh, you already got that. Ross Geller : Not my first time in a hotel, my friend. Chandler Bing : Ok, how about this ? Ross Geller : No, no, no, you can't take the remote control!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are at a hotel, where they find themselves in a debate over what items they can take as payment for a bill. They disagree on whether certain items, such as shampoo and conditioner, are off-limits, while others, like the remote control, are not."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yes, but the batteries... Chandler: Thank you, thank you very much! Ross Geller : Let's celebrate with some maple candy! Chandler Bing : No! Ross Geller : At least tell me where you hid it. Rachel Green : Can I ask you a question? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Have you ever had any weird romantic dreams? Monica Geller : Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head. Rachel Green : Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey. Monica Geller : Wow, do you mean like kiss him-kiss him?", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over batteries; Ross suggests celebrating with maple candy, but Chandler refuses. Rachel asks Monica about weird romantic dreams, leading to a discussion of Monica's childhood dream of marrying Mayor McCheese and eating his head on their wedding night. Meanwhile, Joey is the subject of Romantic dreams for Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh yeah! I mean, that was pretty intense. Monica Geller : What do you think brought than on? Rachel Green : I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday. Monica Geller : A love scene? With who? Rachel Green : Olivia. Monica Geller : Olivia? I thought she was marrying Connor! Oh right, real life more important. Rachel Green : So do you think that my dream means anything? Monica Geller : I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake. Rachel Green : Ah! Well it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream... Monica Geller : Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.", "summary": "Rachel had a dream where she saw Joey reading Drake's lines, leading her to wonder if the dream means anything. Monica suggests that Rachel may have a crush on Joey, but Rachel insists it was just Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You took the same class twice. Monica Geller : It was hard! Phoebe: Hey! Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant uh, huh wait! Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man. Monica Geller : Oh...Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place. Phoebe Buffay : Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault. Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back . Rachel: Hey, so you guys, the funniest thing happened, at work... Phoebe Buffay : My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant? Rachel Green : Ok, we're still on that.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica have a conversation about a funny incident at work, while Phoebe joins the conversation and talks about her music. Monica politely declines Phoebe's offer to play at her restaurant, citing that her songs are not fitting for the upscale atmosphere. Phoebe is hurt and takes back her hat."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I didn't say your songs were not good enough. Phoebe Buffay : Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food? Monica Geller : Tiny portions? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, \"excuse me, I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but I can't see it, I can't see it\"! Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's not about quantity. Phoebe Buffay : Well...it's not about quality. Monica Geller : Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in. Phoebe Buffay : Well at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients Monica. Monica Geller : Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs. Phoebe Buffay : Ear plugs, or cloves of garlic?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe have a disagreement over their food choices, with Monica criticizing Phoebe's music as lacking quality while Phoebe retaliates by making fun of Monica's tiny portions. The conversation escalates, with both parties using creative insults and comparisons to defend their own preferences."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy. Phoebe Buffay : What are people having, the garlic Martini? Receptionist : Here's your copy of the bill, we hope you enjoyed your stay. Chandler Bing : Oh we did, and you still have all your lamps. Chandler: Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax. Ross Geller : Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game. Ross: Oh my god. Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : There's something new in the bowl. Chandler Bing : Look, we have enough, just walk away. Ross Geller : No, but I want...I want the pinecones! Chandler Bing : There's a forest right outside.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss the success of Monica's bar, with Monica taking credit for it and Phoebe questioning what people are having. A bill arrives, and Chandler realizes he forgot to factor in the room tax. Ross finds an unattended maid's car, and they all realize they have enough money to walk away with the pinecones."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's not the same. Chandler Bing : Ok, go quick! Ross: Thank you for a delightful stay. Ross: Oh, my maple candy! Phoebe Buffay : Food here at 'Javu'..will kill you..the food here at 'Javu' ...will kill you.. Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall. Phoebe Buffay : You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself. Monica Geller : Ok, you have to stop playing now. Phoebe Buffay : Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you! Monica Geller : Oh yeah? Ok, let's settle this, come on! Phoebe Buffay : Get your garlic-peelers off me! Monica Geller : Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. .. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? Ha!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are at a hotel, while Phoebe and Monica are at a restaurant called \"Javu.\" Phoebe enjoys the food but warns Monica that it will kill her. Monica tries to get Phoebe to stop playing the piano but Phoebe refuses. Monica then asks the audience if they were bothered by Phoebe's singing outside and most people raise their hands in agreement."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? . Phoebe Buffay : Ok, well, who identified the tone of this restaurant as pretentious comma garlicky? Monica Geller : Ok who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretention never hurt anyone? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, well, alright, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine, but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll taking? . Monica Geller : Excuse us! Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? Phoebe Buffay : Oh...Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! Monica Geller : I'm sorry... Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry too... Monica Geller : ooohh... hey! Wanna stick around and I'll whip you up some dinner? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! As long as it's free! Food here is ridiculously over-p... Phoebe: Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?", "summary": "The friends discuss their dining experience at a pretentious restaurant, with Phoebe and Monica having differing opinions on the music and food. Phoebe laments the excessive poll-taking, while Monica is more concerned about her friend's cooking abilities. The conversation ends with an offer of dinner from Monica to Phoebe, who accepts on the condition that it be free."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head? Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! I thought I got it all! Rachel Green : How...how...? Joey Tribbiani : I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right? Rachel Green : uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : And I couldn't find this little plastic thing that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very! Rachel Green : Wow...definitely just Drake... Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Rachel finds peanut butter on Joey's head, and they have a conversation about how he got it there."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What...how is it going with Drake? Joey Tribbiani : Oh...I don't think it's going very well... Rachel Green : What...that scene I saw was so good! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow... Rachel Green : Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment? Joey Tribbiani : A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia. Rachel Green : So? Joey Tribbiani : So...I've never played that! Rachel Green : Ooh! Honey, it can't be that hard, I mean, you've been in love before? Joey Tribbiani : Uh...well...just once...with you...", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is worried about filming a scene with Olivia, and Rachel Green tries to boost his confidence by giving him compliments."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok...this could be a little awkward...I'm just going to blow past it... well can't you just use that method actor thing where you use your real life memories to help you in your performance? Joey Tribbiani : What the hell are you talking about?? Rachel Green : Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me. Rachel Green : Joey, you never..you never talked about that before... Joey Tribbiani : Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you but it was worth it just to be there looking at you. Joey: Thanks dude!!!This is GREAT!! Closing credits. Chandler Bing : I got you something from Vermont! Monica Geller : Besides tampons and salt? Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. That's weird...it's empty! Ross: Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? do you...do you guys hear a buzzing? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night? Chandler Bing : Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.", "summary": "Drake wants to kiss Olivia but can't, making Joey think about his own unrequited love. Joey uses memories of Rachel to help him perform, and they share a moment where he admires her beauty before makeup. The gang hangs out, with Chandler bringing back maple candy from Vermont. Ross notices a buzzing sound but can't quite figure out what it is."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play. Chandler Bing : I could fall asleep at a play. Phoebe Buffay : What is it? Joey Tribbiani : It's a one-woman play called \"Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life\". Monica Geller : It sounds interesting! Ross Geller : Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want? Joey Tribbiani : You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise! Ross Geller : What? How come that you don't have to go! Joey Tribbiani : I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.", "summary": "A one-woman play about a bitter woman's journey through life, sparking debate among friends who are invited to attend."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Uh, let's see, who do I hate? Rachel Green : Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, here you go. Rachel Green : Ooh... oooh... oh, ah... Can I ask you a question? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal? Monica Geller : No, I don't think it ever works. Why? Rachel Green : No reason. Monica Geller : No, no, Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss whether it's possible for two friends to fool around and not have it be a big deal."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Who do you wanna fool around with? Rachel Green : Nobody, forget it! Rachel: Maybe. Monica Geller : You can't! Rachel Green : Why? Seriously I did not understand a word that you said. Monica Geller : In the hall. Monica Geller : You wanna fool around with Joey? Rachel Green : Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time! Monica Geller : Who? Who do you know that are friends that just fool around? Rachel Green : Ok, off the top of my head... Don and Janet. Monica Geller : Who, who are they?", "summary": "Rachel has a dream about Joey and wants to hook up with him, but Monica is opposed to the idea. They discuss other friends who have had casual sexual encounters, including Don and Janet."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I know them from work. Monica Geller : Both of them? Rachel Green : No, one of them... Monica Geller : Which one? Rachel Green : I don't know, what were the names I just said? Monica Geller : Rachel, things can get incredibly complicated. Rachel Green : All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? Monica Geller : What the hell are you cooking! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Rachel knows someone from work, but can't remember their name. Monica warns Rachel about complications that could arise if she pursues a relationship with one of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work today. Chandler Bing : Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs. Ross Geller : There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus. Monica Geller : What's so bad about that? Ross Geller : It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches. Monica Geller : : Ross? Ross Geller : These aren't suede. Charlie: Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller? Gunther : No. Ross Geller : Hi, hi, I'm Ross Geller.", "summary": "Ross has to show two new professors around campus and is worried they will be boring and wear tweed jackets with suede elbow patches."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Oh, hi. I'm professor Wealer. Ross Geller : Oh, oh, that's, that's, that's nice. Charlie Wheeler : It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around. Ross Geller : Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out. Monica Geller : Is he gonna introduce us? Chandler Bing : No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now. Charlie Wheeler : And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis. Ross Geller : Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute. Monica Geller : Twenty bucks says they're married within the month. Ross Geller : We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover.", "summary": "Professor Charlie Wheeler meets with Ross and Chandler at Monica's apartment, where they discuss their research and academic work. Charlie expresses interest in Ross's paper on geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis, while Ross downplays his involvement in the paper. Monica makes a bet with Chandler that Charlie and Ross will get married within a month, which Chandler dismisses as unlikely. As they continue their conversation, Ross suggests they should move on to other topics and wrap up their meeting."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us? Ross Geller : I don't think so. Charlie Wheeler : I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell? Ross Geller : Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is \"if you can't come on time, then don't come at all\". An option that many of my students use. Shall we? Charlie Wheeler : You don't think we should wait for him? Ross Geller : You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok? Professor Spafford : Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Oh, damn it! Jane : Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Charlie Wheeler and Ross Geller are going on a trip with another professor from Cornell, Professor Spafford. However, Professor Spafford is late and Ross has a rule in his class that if you can't come on time, then don't come at all. Charlie suggests they wait for him, but Ross is dismissive and says he's a big boy who will find them. Meanwhile, Jane Rogers calls Joey to invite him to a party tonight, but forgets his address and asks him to call her back."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What's happenin'? Rachel Green : Yeah, it's a real shame you can't make it to that one-woman show tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... Message : \"Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight\" Joey Tribbiani : Stupid Jane Rogers!! Rachel Green : You are having a party tonight?? Joey Tribbiani : Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people. Rachel Green : And you weren't going to tell us? How did you think you were gonna get away with that?", "summary": "Rachel and Joey are talking about an upcoming one-woman show, but Joey can't attend due to work commitments. Rachel is surprised when she receives a message from someone named Jane Rogers asking if Joey is having a party tonight. Joey expresses frustration towards Jane for not informing them earlier, revealing that he has a crush on the \"Days of Our Lives\" people."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I do it every year. Rachel Green : You do that every year?? Joey Tribbiani : I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!! Rachel Green : Oh, that's why you got these tickets to that play, to get rid of us?? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Rachel Green : And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Rachel Green : OH! And the year before that, when you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory? Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you guys went for that one! Rachel Green : Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?", "summary": "Joey takes Ross and Rachel on annual outings as a way to get rid of them. He has been taking them to various events, such as a play and a medieval times restaurant, but always pretends they are not there. This year, he invites them to his parties, but only because he can't believe they fell for his previous tricks."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You're fine, ok? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people! Rachel Green : Well, then so you just invite me...! Joey Tribbiani : Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one! Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please... Joey Tribbiani : Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8. Rachel Green : OH, a soap opera roof party!! I'm going to a soap opera roof party!! Oh my God, oh my God!! And it's out of my system! Professor Spafford : And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish. Ross Geller : So, where did you get your undergraduate degree? Professor Spafford : And that's not all I'm allergic to. Ross Geller : Oh, it's not over!", "summary": "Rachel tries to convince Joey to invite her to a secret party on the roof, but he initially resists due to her past behavior around famous people. However, he eventually agrees and warns her not to tell anyone else about it. Meanwhile, Professor Spafford shares his recent experience of going on a cruise to the Galapagos, where he indulged in an extensive seafood buffet despite being allergic to shellfish. Ross asks Professor Spafford about his undergraduate degree, and Professor Spafford reveals that he is also allergic to several other things."}
-{"dialogues": "Professor Spafford : I'm also allergic to peanuts, and cashews, and almonds, and filberts... Ross Geller : So basically all nuts? Professor Spafford : Interestingly... no. Charlie Wheeler : Kinda playing fast and loose with the word \"interesting\". Professor Spafford : If you'll excuse me I'm going to use the restroom. Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God!! Ross Geller : I've lost the will to live. Charlie Wheeler : Let's ditch him! Ross Geller : What? Charlie Wheeler : Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!", "summary": "Professor Spafford has allergies to multiple types of nuts, while Ross and Charlie make fun of him."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll... Charlie Wheeler : Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! Ross Geller : Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Ross Geller : Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're a paleonthologist, too! Oh, ok, now, what do you think of Ranion's new theory of species' variegation in segmented arthopods? Charlie Wheeler : Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas... Phoebe Buffay : Ah, ah. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. Ross Geller : Ranion's theory of species variegation?", "summary": "Ross Geller is introducing a new colleague, Charlie Wheeler, to his department. Charlie is a paleontologist with interesting ideas, but is also known for speaking slowly and possibly urinating quickly. Ross asks Charlie's opinion on Ranion's theory of species variegation in segmented arthropods."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out! Monica Geller : So, did you two have fun? Ross Geller : Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny... Monica Geller : And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a HOTTY!! HI! Rachel Green : Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play. Ross Geller : Really? Wh-what's wrong? Rachel Green : I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!! Charlie Wheeler : Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry. Rachel Green : ... Ok, who is this? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.", "summary": "Rachel Green has become sick with an unknown illness after watching a TV show about Newcastle disease. Phoebe Buffay freaks Monica Geller out by memorizing the title of the article on Monica's coffee table. Ross Geller finds Rachel's sudden illness strange and is concerned for her well-being, while Charlie Wheeler explains that Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that affects chickens and other poultry."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease! Monica Geller : Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec? Rachel Green : Sure! Oh... Monica Geller : You're not sick! Rachel Green : What? Yes, I am! Monica Geller : Ok, then, why are you... all dressed up?? Rachel Green : When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better! Monica Geller : You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey! Rachel Green : Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is! Monica Geller : Ok, what is this?", "summary": "Rachel is sick and dresses up to try to feel better. Monica asks if she's okay, and Rachel insists she is. However, Monica suspects that Rachel wants to stay home to make a move on Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok! Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you! Monica Geller : WHAT? Ross Geller : Wh-what's going on? Monica Geller : Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof! Rachel Green : And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!! Charlie Wheeler : I thought you came to say you were sick. Rachel Green : Ok professor or detective? Phoebe Buffay : Joey's having a party and he wasn't gonna invite us? Rachel Green : Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory! Phoebe Buffay : And that horrible museum tour!", "summary": "Joey is having a secret party on the roof, but didn't invite the others. Rachel reveals this to Monica, Ross, and Charlie, who are confused. Phoebe joins in, mentioning previous instances of Joey excluding them from his secret events."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, I arranged that... Joey: Hey you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun. Phoebe Buffay : We know about your party Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What party? Monica Geller : The game's over! Take off your robe! Joey Tribbiani : Ok... I mean... #ALL# : No!! Cover it up!! Joey Tribbiani : Nice to meet ya! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it Thanks for coming. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Kyle Lowder! Kyle Lowder : Hi.", "summary": "Monica hosts a game night where Joey invites a guest without telling anyone else. When Phoebe discovers the secret party, she reveals it to the group, causing chaos and awkwardness."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I love you! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something... Monica Geller : Oh yeah that's what you want - my inhibitions lowered. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler! Chandler Bing : Where the hell is everybody? Bitter lady: Why don't you like me?! Chapter One: My first period. Monica Geller : Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this \"best wishes\" crap. I want \"love\". Rachel Green : Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number.", "summary": "Monica and Joey argue over an autograph, while Phoebe tries to calm Monica down. Chandler can't find anyone, and a bitter woman asks why he doesn't like her. In the flashback, Monica remembers her first period and asks for an autograph from Joey, who refuses. Rachel reveals that Matthew gave her his phone number."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married! Matthew Ashford : It was nice to meet you Rachel. Rachel Green : Nice to meet you. Matthew Ashford : Call me. Rachel Green : Ok Monica: We will!! Monica Geller : Look at you with all the guys! Rachel Green : Yeah! Monica Geller : I guess you have forgotten all about Joey? Rachel Green : Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler! Monica Geller : Please... Chandler is the love of my life... ... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! Ross: So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel attend a party together and catch up with old friends. Monica expresses regret about getting married, while Rachel meets a guy named Matthew and exchanges numbers with him. Joey and Chandler are mentioned in passing. Later, Ross tries to convince Monica to leave Boston for a new job opportunity."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone. Ross Geller : Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer? Charlie Wheeler : Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with. Ross Geller : You... you dated Albert Wintermeyer? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah... Ross Geller : ... And you called him Alby!? I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby... Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man. Ross Geller : Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10! Charlie Wheeler : Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues... Ross Geller : Oh! like what?! Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch \"Access Hollywood\".", "summary": "Charlie Wheeler broke up with Albert Wintermeyer and is leaving Harvard. Ross Geller finds it difficult to believe and teases Charlie for dating a Nobel Prize winner."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him. Ross Geller : Who is intimidating to a guy who won the Nobel Prize? Charlie Wheeler : A guy who won two. Ross Geller : Two? Wha...? Don't tell me you dated Benjamin Hobart. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah... for three years. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who hasn't won the Nobel Prize? Charlie Wheeler : ... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy. Ross Geller : Oh yeah? no, no Nobel Prizes for him? Charlie Wheeler : No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant. Ross Geller : Huh... huh... what a loser! Some more wine?", "summary": "Ross is shocked to learn that Charlie dated someone who won two Nobel Prizes, and Charlie reveals that she has also dated others who have achieved significant awards. Ross jokes about one of them being a \"loser\" compared to Billy, who recently won a MacArthur genius grant."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey Ross! Rachel Green : How is it going with Charlie? Ross Geller : Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, What's the matter? Ross Geller : She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth. Rachel Green : I always loved that!! Ross Geller : Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Worse? Ross Geller : Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... \"Can we walk\"? Oh, you... you like that? Phoebe Buffay : No.", "summary": "Ross is upset because Charlie only dates intelligent and accomplished people, while he feels inadequate compared to them. He pretends to be a woolly mammoth at a Chinese restaurant and impresses Rachel, but Phoebe is not amused. The conversation ends with Ross feeling insecure about his relationship with Charlie."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Come on! I think this is funny! Bitter Lady : Well, I bet you are all thinkin' \"Now would be a really great time for an intermission\", huh? Chandler Bing : oh yes, God yes!! Bitter Lady : Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. How could he leave me?!?! Chandler Bing : I... I don't know... you seem lovely. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. Ross Geller : Nice to meet you. Dirk : Hey! So what show are you on? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology. Joey: It's a science.", "summary": "Ross is upset about his divorce and feels like there should be an intermission in life. Rachel tries to make him see the humor in the situation. Bitter Lady joins the conversation and shares her own experiences with divorce. Chandler and Joey try to offer support, while Dirk, a co-star of Joey's, enters the scene and introduces himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Dirk : Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on \"Days\". And my character has just won the Nobel prize. Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or... Ross Geller : Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys. Dirk : Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs. Ross Geller : I'd lead with that. Monica: That's it, just sign right on the bra . Joey Tribbiani : Monica! Monica Geller : Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year! Joey: What have you got there? Ross Geller : Just some boys gave me their phone numbers. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, let me see! Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty? Rachel Green : I think I am. Joey Tribbiani : Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug . This guy's Canadian . And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different. Joey: Pass, pass, oh, pass, double-pass, pass...", "summary": "Dirk, a scientist on \"Days,\" wins the Nobel prize, while Ross reveals that a woman he brought to a party only dates intelligent men. Monica signs a bra, Joey collects phone numbers, and Rachel jokes about being slutty. Joey evaluates the potential suitors, including a man in a cult who charges $5,000 to reach level three."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Why, why, what's wrong with these guys? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best. Rachel Green : Joey, you're so sweet. Joey Tribbiani : That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight. Rachel Green : Who ? Joey: Me. Rachel Green : What? Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke! Rachel Green : Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! Joey Tribbiani : Gotcha. Rachel Green : Oh, Very funny... Joey. Chandler: So, how did you enjoy the play?", "summary": "Rachel is upset about the men she has been dating and Joey tries to console her by telling her that they are not good enough for her. Joey then reveals that he will be the one she goes home with tonight, which Rachel does not find amusing."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my god, honey, I'm so so so so so sorry. Chandler Bing : Well you should be. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater. Monica Geller : You really liked it? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained not to listen! But after chapter 16: \"fat, single and ready to mingle\", I was uplifted. Monica Geller : Oh really! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period! Monica Geller : No! Chandler Bing : Did somebody sign your bra? Monica Geller : So I got it when I was 13... Phoebe Buffay : Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?", "summary": "Monica missed a powerful play, Chandler hated it at first but became uplifted after chapter 16, and Phoebe questions Ross about his relationship with the dinosaur girl."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : It's actually a 1,000,000$ prize. Phoebe Buffay : Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd. Ross Geller : Yeah, maybe. I do have my whole career in front of me. I mean, I can still win a Nobel prize. Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited. Phoebe Buffay : You're so much more than just brains! You're sweet, and kind, and funny... Ross Geller : And sexy. Phoebe Buffay : Ok well give her a chance to see all of that! Ross Geller : Yeah, you're right, thanks Pheebs, I'm gonna go find her. Phoebe Buffay : Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch! Ross Geller : Stop going through my stuff ! Rachel: Hey! Monica Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss a $1 million prize that Ross could win, with Phoebe encouraging Ross to pursue it and highlighting his other qualities beyond intelligence. Meanwhile, Rachel enters the room and joins in on their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey. Monica Geller : No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea. Rachel Green : Please, what about you and Chandler? Monica Geller : That's different! I was drunk and stupid! Rachel Green : Well hello ! Monica Geller : What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them? Rachel Green : I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey! Monica Geller : Alright . I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision. Rachel Green : I'm gonna do it. Monica Geller : And I can't stop you.", "summary": "Rachel wants to kiss Joey despite Monica's objections, leading to a confrontation about their feelings and past hookups."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No. Ross: Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere? Ross: I'm smarter than him! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you. Monica Geller : Oh, you're so wonderful. Bitter Woman : Why don't you like me! Chapter one: my first period. Chandler Bing : Can't believe you guys bought that, enjoy your slow death . Monica Geller : It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie. Ross Geller : Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE! Chandler Bing : I missed most of the party Charlie's a girl, right? Ross Geller : Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.", "summary": "Ross tries to find Charlie but can't, Chandler shares an important experience with Monica and Bitter Woman doesn't like him. Joey kisses Charlie at a party, but Ross didn't expect it. Charlie is a new professor of Ross's department that he did not kiss."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD! Ross Geller : Why do you care so much? Monica Geller : Yes Rachel, why do you care so much? Rachel Green : Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common. Ross Geller : Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils... Phoebe Buffay : Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid! Rachel Green : All right, so... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean... Ross Geller : Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it... Ross Geller : Oh, God. I forgot how hot she was! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Rachel Green is upset because Joey kissed someone else at a party, despite her being the mother of Ross's child. Ross and Monica Geller try to understand why Rachel cares so much, while Phoebe Buffay finds the situation amusing. Meanwhile, Joey Tribbiani is simply happy to have met someone new."}
-{"dialogues": "#ALL# : Hi! Ross Geller : I'm gonna get some more coffee. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, you know what? I'll come with you! Ross Geller : Ok. Chandler Bing : So, a professor, uh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! She is cool, and she's so smart! Her mind is totally acrimonious . That's not how she used it...? Charlie Wheeler : I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me. Ross Geller : Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people. Charlie Wheeler : You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral... Ross Geller : Yeah, I know the type.", "summary": "Ross and Charlie go to get coffee together after Charlie says she will join Ross on his journey. Chandler and Joey talk about a woman they both find attractive and smart, but have difficulty articulating themselves around her. Charlie admits that kissing someone at a party was unexpected for her since she usually dates intellectuals with cerebral qualities."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close? Opening credits. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Look what I just got. Rachel Green : Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them? Phoebe Buffay : I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain. Rachel Green : Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive! Phoebe Buffay : Oh... then I overpaid. Monica Geller : Hey, what's this? Rachel Green : Oh, it's a gift certificate to this new SPA in SOHO.", "summary": "Rachel gives Phoebe a gift certificate for a spa day, but Phoebe mistakes it as belonging to the late Shania Twain and overpaid for it on eBay."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains. Rachel Green : Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting... Monica Geller : Do you wanna go hunting? Rachel Green : Well, I would like to have the option!! Phoebe Buffay : What's up? Hey, Rachel!! Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these \"big massage places\"! They're putting people like me out of business! Monica Geller : And she wants to go hunting, too!! Rachel Green : Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, this is not about the MONEY, ok? It's about... it's about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us... the hollow shells.", "summary": "Phoebe disapproves of corporate massage chains, Monica wants to go hunting, and Rachel wants to get a massage but can't because of Phoebe's disapproval. The conversation escalates into a debate about corporate greed and its effects on society."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I don't care about any of that!! Phoebe Buffay : Well, do you care about friendship? Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend. Rachel Green : Oh, not as a friend, Phoebe!! Fine, I won't use it! Phoebe Buffay : Promise? Rachel Green : I promise. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Rachel Green : But I am going hunting!! Monica Geller : Hey honey! I missed you today!", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe have a conversation about a gift certificate, with Phoebe asking Rachel not to use it and Rachel agreeing not to. Monica enters and greets Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah. What d'you wanna do tonight? Chandler Bing : Oh, well... Maybe we could... Monica Geller : Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank. Chandler Bing : We really need to take those tests? Monica Geller : Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests. Chandler Bing : But I don't wanna do it in a cup! Monica Geller : What is the big deal? Chandler Bing : It's weird! In a doctor's office? Monica Geller : It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to conceive a baby but have been unsuccessful after a year. Monica suggests taking fertility tests, which Chandler is hesitant about due to embarrassment and awkwardness."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I cannot believe Ross told you that! And in my defense, it was a Wendy's! Monica Geller : Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea! Chandler Bing : Yeah, ok. I'm sure that doctor's office can't be worst than on a class trip to the Hershey's factory! Monica Geller : OH! Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! RACHEL TALKS TOO! Joey Tribbiani : Who says that wine has to cost more than milk! Joey Tribbiani : Heeey! Charlie Wheeler : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Come on in, how are ya? Charlie Wheeler : I'm good!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are hesitant to take a paternity test, while Rachel and Joey discuss the affordability of wine."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Can I offer you a drink? Charlie Wheeler : Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book... Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh. I hade a pretty hectic day at work too, today I had to open a door and go ohhhh! Charlie Wheeler : So I am just so excited to be here. And I can't wait to start exploring the city! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if you need a tour guide... Charlie Wheeler : Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ok, what do you wanna see first? Charlie Wheeler : Oh, well, we can go see the Chronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall. Joey Tribbiani : Ok! Charlie Wheeler : And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Charlie have a meeting with the Dean and are working on various projects. They meet each other and decide to explore the city together."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know, yeah! Charlie Wheeler : And first, I have to see the MET! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, ok? You wanna see the Yankees. Charlie Wheeler : No, no, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular! Joey Tribbiani : Which one, they all suck! Charlie Wheeler : The museum! Joey Tribbiani : I don't think so. Rachel Green : Hi there! Receptionist : Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa SPA. How may I help you? Rachel Green : Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a group of friends' plans to visit a museum in New York City. Joey Tribbiani believes the Mets suck, while Charlie Wheeler insists on seeing the Met Museum. Joey disagrees, and Rachel Green joins the conversation, mentioning she has a massage appointment at a spa."}
-{"dialogues": "Receptionist : This has been torn up. Rachel Green : And... taped back together. Receptionist : Ok well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready. Rachel Green : Ok. Receptionist : Have a seat through the glass doors. Rachel Green : through the glass doors. Receptionist : Through the glass doors. Rachel Green : Alright-y then. Receptionist : Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?", "summary": "Rachel Green schedules a massage therapy appointment and waits in the reception area. The receptionist informs her that the room has been torn up and taped back together. Phoebe Buffay enters the waiting room and inquires about filling in for Rachel's massage therapist."}
-{"dialogues": "Receptionist : Sorry, everyone is booked! Phoebe Buffay : But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are. Receptionist : Then why you work here? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine! Receptionist : Well, I think this is a great place to work! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, are they listening? Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross Geller : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : I need to talk to you about Charlie. Ross Geller : Oh, do you, do you really?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay works at a massage chain but hates it and says so to the receptionist, who defends it as a great place to work. Joey Tribbiani joins the conversation and Phoebe tells him she needs to talk to Ross about Charlie."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I'm... I'm kind of having a little problem. Ross Geller : Look, if you don't know what the word \"acrimonious\" means, just don't use it! Joey Tribbiani : No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo... Ross Geller : Get to the problem! Joey Tribbiani : Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid! Ross Geller : Are you wearing two belts? Joey Tribbiani : EH, what do you know! Ross Geller : You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid. Joey Tribbiani : Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out! Ross Geller : You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.", "summary": "Joey has a problem with a girl he likes because she's smart and he doesn't want to seem stupid around her. Ross tries to help Joey but gets distracted by other things, including Joey's belts."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her. Ross Geller : Fine. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Ross Geller : Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET! Joey Tribbiani : The Metsss! Ross Geller : Oh, no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's what she meant! You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion! Ross Geller : Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, all right, so I'll take her to the MET. Ross Geller : Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.", "summary": "Joey wants to impress his crush by taking her to a museum (which he mispronounces as \"Mets\"), but Ross suggests a rare bookstore instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date! Ross Geller : But I'm not! . You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food... Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok? Ross Geller : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : You got to tell me exactly what to do there. Ross Geller : Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right. Chandler Bing : I have a weird feeling about this place. How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet. Monica Geller : Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that. Nurse : Mr. Bing? Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.", "summary": "Joey and Ross discuss going on a date, but Ross declines. They then discuss Thai food, before Joey suggests they go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art instead. At the museum, they navigate through the ancient Egyptian, Mesopotamian, and Byzantine empires. Chandler becomes paranoid about being secretly videotaped, while Monica tries to reassure him. A nurse then interrupts to take Chandler's \"specimen\" (i.e., his sample for a paternity test)."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it. Monica Geller : Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I guess! Monica Geller : I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you! Janice Litman Goralnik : OH MY GOD!! Chandler Bing : Oh, Come on! Janice Litman Goralnik : Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this! Monica Geller : Hey, we're probably fertile, let's go home! Chandler Bing : Why are you here? Janice Litman Goralnik : Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...", "summary": "Chandler Bing goes for a medical test, but gets embarrassed when Monica Geller and Janice Litman Goralnik find out. They all laugh about it, but Monica suggests they try to conceive after having trouble last time."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No no no... I mean, why? why is she here?? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! Oh! They gave you the kiddy size . Chandler Bing : What!? Monica Geller : This was fun! But I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to! Chandler Bing : I'd love to stay, but I have eh... got a hot date... Janice Litman Goralnik : Please... go! Just let me know if you need a hand! Chandler Bing : I think it just fell off. Phoebe Buffay : Hello \"ja\", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole. Rachel Green : Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then I'm Swedish...", "summary": "Chandler is cranky because he has to give a urine sample in a cup, while Janice mentions that someone gave him the \"kiddy size.\" Monica reveals that she has an invasive vaginal exam to get to. Chandler tries to leave, but Janice insists on helping. Phoebe joins in and offers to give Chandler a massage, while Rachel enters the room and mentions that she is getting a massage from a real Swedish person."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : So, what's your name? Phoebe Buffay : It's a normal Swedish name... Ikea... Rachel Green : Oh... what an interesting name. Phoebe Buffay : Ja! Rachel Green : You know I... Phoebe Buffay : Time for your scalp massage! Rachel Green : Wow... I really love your... Phoebe Buffay : Is something wrong? Rachel Green : No, it's just that uhm... it feels so good... Ikea... Yeah, say hey, you'll know this, what's the capital of Sweden? Phoebe Buffay : Uhm... Stockholm.", "summary": "Monica asks Phoebe's name, and Phoebe responds with a play on her normal Swedish name and the furniture store Ikea. Rachel joins in and compliments Phoebe's scalp massage, leading to Phoebe offering her services. The conversation then turns to Sweden and the capital city of Stockholm."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Damn! I wish I knew if that was right! Joey Tribbiani : Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself. Ross Geller : Now, do you have any idea what you just said? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks! Ross Geller : Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you. Joey Tribbiani : Phonetically? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Ross Geller : Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly! Joey Tribbiani : Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on \"Days\" I had to say \"Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy\".", "summary": "Rachel Green is unsure if she did something right, Joey Tribbiani notices the painterly lines and subtle impasto in a canvas, Ross Geller tries to decipher what Joey said, Joey admits he was thinking of monster trucks instead, Ross corrects Joey's pronunciation of \"Monet,\" Joey is impressed that Rachel memorized the information quickly, and Joey reveals that he is an actor who can memorize anything, including a medical term from last week's episode of \"Days.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wow. What does that mean? Joey Tribbiani : No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means \"you're gonna get eaten by a bear\". Ross Geller : Ok! So let's move on to the Renaissance? Joey Tribbiani : Ok, Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure. Touch it, it's really bumpy! . Ross Geller : Nah ah! Nah ah! No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings. Joey Tribbiani : Come on! you... Ross Geller : No! Chandler Bing : My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! Janice! You're not... gone? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit? Chandler Bing : Yeah! yeah... The hard part is over!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Ross and Joey discuss art, while Chandler has an unexpected visitor in his room. Later, Janice reveals that she allows her son Sid to watch pornography during his visits, much to Chandler's dismay."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results? Chandler Bing : I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine. Chandler Bing : oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'... Janice Litman Goralnik : What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office? Chandler Bing : It was a \"Wendy's!! \" Phoebe Buffay : \"Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! \" And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! Rachel Green : Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.", "summary": "Chandler and Janice discuss having a baby, with Chandler expressing concerns about the results of a paternity test. Janice reassures him that everything will be okay and that he and Monica are meant to have children."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Ja! Ja! Rachel Green : Yah! She's... uhm... not very good though... Phoebe Buffay : Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is? Rachel Green : I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar... Phoebe Buffay : Or... maybe she has trouble loosening your knots because you're such a high maintenance tight ass! Rachel Green : Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : You know it's me? Rachel Green : For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden! Phoebe Buffay : How can you come here? Rachel Green : How could you not tell me you worked here?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss why a particular person's guitar playing is not good. They exchange insults and jokes, with Phoebe suggesting that the person has calloused fingers from playing guitar and Rachel responding that they are high maintenance."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I don't have to tell you everything! Rachel Green : Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage! Phoebe Buffay : Tips not included. Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here? Phoebe Buffay : Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes! Rachel Green : Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any! Phoebe Buffay : You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back! Rachel Green : Good for you Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : Okay If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay lies to her friend Rachel Green about working at a massage parlor to avoid feeling guilty for getting a free massage, but when Rachel discovers the truth, Phoebe quits her job to be true to herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Haha! Got ya! Die, die, die! Ross Geller : Respectfully, professor R. Geller. , closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey! Charlie Wheeler : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey, how was the Met? Charlie Wheeler : The museum was amazing! Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh? Charlie Wheeler : Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense. Ross Geller : What do you mean? Charlie Wheeler : Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around. Ross Geller : Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?", "summary": "Ross and Charlie discuss their visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Joey, who accompanied them, was unable to provide accurate information about the artwork they saw, often talking about paintings that were not actually there. Ross wonders if Joey had simply memorized random facts or if he truly knew nothing about art."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : No, we went to the left. Ross Geller : Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, it's fun . Ross Geller : What? Charlie Wheeler : Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird. Ross Geller : What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on. Charlie Wheeler : Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean? Ross Geller : Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, I guess that's true. Ross Geller : And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.", "summary": "Joey and Charlie went left instead of right. Ross thinks this is funny but also thinks it's weird for Charlie to be with Joey since they don't have much in common. Ross encourages Charlie to give Joey a chance and highlights his good qualities, such as memorizing facts about art because he thought it was important to Charlie."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : He is very sweet. Plus he's hot! Ross Geller : That was going to be my next argument. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Charlie Wheeler : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : You're ready? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, let's go. Thanks Ross. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up. Ross Geller : Glad I could help man. Joey Tribbiani : Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... I made it work.", "summary": "Ross and Charlie are attracted to each other, while Joey tries to hook up Ross with a girl. Joey lies about the location of an art exhibit, but ultimately makes it work."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now. Chandler Bing : Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? Oh. Well, so what does that mean? Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. Monica Geller : Hey sweetie. Chandler Bing : Doctor Connelly just called. Monica Geller : With good news? Of course it is not good news, you just said \"Doctor Connelly just called\". If it was good news you would have said \"Doctor Connelly just called! \" But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you? Chandler Bing : Actually it's both of us. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment. Monica Geller : Oh... what does that mean? Chandler Bing : It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. It means...", "summary": "Chandler and Monica find out that Chandler's sperm are low in motility and Monica's uterus is not conducive to pregnancy."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. Monica Geller : I'm sorry too. Chandler Bing : Well, we're gonna... we're gonna figure this out. Monica Geller : I know. Closing credits. Receptionist : Good morning Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Good morning receptionist. Receptionist : Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in room No. 1.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discuss their chances of having a baby, but ultimately agree to keep trying despite the possibility of never succeeding."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Rachel Green? Son of a bitch, she came back? Phoebe Buffay : Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy. Charlie Wheeler : Oh! That feels sooo good! Rachel Green : Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show! Charlie Wheeler : I'm sorry, what? Rachel Green : Oh... Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not... I was just-I was just reading to Emma. Charlie Wheeler : From... Cosmo?? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah... It's... \"climax your way to better skin\". Charlie Wheeler : So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes! Joey Tribbiani : So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.", "summary": "Rachel Green returns after a brief absence and Phoebe Buffay is shocked. Phoebe offers Rachel a \"Scottish massage\" and Charlie Wheeler joins in. Charlie accidentally hears Rachel talking to Emma about a Cosmopolitan article on \"climaxing for better skin.\" Later, Joey Tribbiani offers to help Rachel with her shopping, as she is bad at picking out clothes."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey Rach! Rachel Green : Yeah... Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you could take Charlie shopping. Rachel Green : Oh, well... Charlie Wheeler : I'm sure you have better things to do. Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes. Charlie Wheeler : If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help. Rachel Green : Ok, uh-uh... Let's-Let's shop!! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... ... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!", "summary": "Rachel Green is hesitant to take Charlie Wheeler shopping, but eventually agrees to help her. Joey Tribbiani teases Rachel about her fashion advice and suggests she will buy her classy clothes and \"slutty\" lingerie."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok, great! All right, bye! Pain in the ass!! That's off, right? Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like \"Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!\". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him! Rachel Green : Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him! Phoebe Buffay : Exactly! Rachel Green : And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous! Phoebe Buffay : I didn't even think about that! Aaargh, sexual politics!! Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs, I'm-I'm taking Charlie shopping, why don't you come and I'll help you find something. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, that'll be great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.", "summary": "Phoebe is forced to attend a party where her ex-boyfriend Mike will be present, despite previously hanging up on him. Rachel offers to help Phoebe find an outfit to impress Mike and make him feel bad for dumping her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : That's not what we're gonna do! Joey Tribbiani : Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'? Chandler Bing : Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face! Monica Geller : Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess! Chandler Bing : Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!! Doctor Connelly : Hi there. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Doctor Connelly : I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options. Monica Geller : Ok.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey disagree on how to handle a situation, while Chandler makes inappropriate comments and Monica is upset about her medical test results. A doctor enters and discusses their options with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Doctor Connelly : Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis. Chandler Bing : Oh, DAMN IT! Monica Geller : Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out. Doctor Connelly : Ok, given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy, or insemination using a sperm donor. Monica Geller : Ok. Doctor Connelly : And, of course, if you feel that neither of those is right for you, you can always adopt. Chandler Bing : Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment! Rachel Green : Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping? Charlie Wheeler : Oh, yeah! Let's do it! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, have a good time.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are trying to conceive through natural means but their chances are low. Doctor Connelly suggests surrogacy or using a sperm donor. Monica and Rachel are planning to go shopping while Charlie is excited to join them."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Not gonna find any clothes in there! Ross Geller : Hey, you guys! Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference? Charlie Wheeler : Umh... Kurts Baley? Ross Geller : Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract Well, why are you laughing? Joey Tribbiani : Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah! Charlie Wheeler : So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions? Ross Geller : Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today. Charlie Wheeler : He's a pretty tough guy to impress.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at Monica's apartment when they receive an unexpected visitor, Charlie Wheeler, who is up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference. Ross reveals that Charlie has a history of missing submission deadlines for abstracts, leading to amusement from Joey. Meanwhile, Professor Sherman will be making the decisions for the conference."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him. Rachel Green : Oh... you're not gonna do a magic trick, are ya? Ross Geller : Tsz... NO! . Chandler Bing : Hey guys! Ross Geller : Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me. Chandler Bing : I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick. Ross Geller : It's in Barbados. Chandler Bing : But you come first! Rachel Green : I'm there! Charlie Wheeler : We'll see you, guys!", "summary": "Ross wants to impress a paleontology convention with his talk and invites Chandler and Rachel to come. They all share their personal issues and conflicts, including family problems, work stress, and illnesses."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Bye. Rachel Green : Bye, see ya. Chandler Bing : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic? Chandler Bing : Not as much fun as last time. Apparently you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample. Ross Geller : So-so what did the doctor say? Chandler Bing : Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her. Joey Tribbiani : So you're ruling out surrogacy? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : So, I don't have to learn what that means?", "summary": "Joey and Chandler discuss their experiences at a fertility clinic, while Ross joins in to offer his thoughts on the situation. Monica is considering surrogacy but has reservations about watching another woman carry her child. Joey is relieved not to have to learn about surrogacy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Aside from adoption the only other choice is insemination, so... we're talking about sperm donors. Joey Tribbiani : Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs? Chandler Bing : ah-ha! Ross Geller : How do you feel about all this? Chandler Bing : I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one. Joey Tribbiani : Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it! Ross Geller : What? Ross Geller : What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben! Ross Geller : The data we are receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing of these fossils are - are staggering. Professor Sherman : Mmm-mm.", "summary": "Adoption and insemination are discussed as options for having a child, but Chandler wishes there was an easier way. Joey offers to help, but Ross refuses, stating he will not give them his sperm. The group discusses staggering data from MRI scans and DNA testing of fossils."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. So-so what I am saying is - is is that is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles! Ross Geller : Oh, that's not what you want... Shop Assistant : Incentive For Men? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'll take some of that. Rachel Green : Pheebs, that's for men! Phoebe Buffay : No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. . Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets! Charlie Wheeler : So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be? Rachel Green : On Melanie Griffith in \"Working girl\". I think what you want is over here. Charlie Wheeler : See, I told you I needed someone! Oh, you know, by the way, as a \"thank you\", I would really love to take you out.", "summary": "Ross Geller discovers that Leakey's dates may be off by hundreds of thousands of years, potentially throwing all of their assumptions in palaeontology and related fields into question. The repercussions could be enormous, affecting evolutionary biology, genetics, geology, and more. Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay purchases a men's cologne to impress her ex-boyfriend Mike at a party later that night, while Charlie Wheeler expresses interest in shoulder pad jackets and offers to take Rachel Green on a date as a thank you."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Really? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come? Rachel Green : Oh, I can't. Because I-I've seen them. Charlie Wheeler : You've seen all the movies... Rachel Green : Yeah! I'm a big fan! Of the movies, you know. Motion pictures. The Talkies! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room? Rachel Green : Sure! Phoebe Buffay : Ok! Charlie Wheeler : Wha, you know, maybe we can do something else! Rachel Green : You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff.", "summary": "Rachel is a big fan of movies and can't go to the ones Charlie and Joey are going to see because she has already seen them all. Phoebe invites Rachel to join her in a dressing room, but Charlie suggests doing something else instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie? Rachel Green : She's ok, I just don't get a really good vibe from her! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Rachel Green : I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance! Phoebe Buffay : Who else? Rachel Green : Anybody! You, me, you know, Monica's mom... Phoebe Buffay : You like Joey? Rachel Green : Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Rachel Green : It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous!", "summary": "Rachel is jealous of Charlie's relationship with Joey and feels overshadowed by her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him? Rachel Green : Oh, I get it! Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right. Rachel Green : I know, I know, so it is just not a big deal. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : So can we keep this between us? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Rachel Green : Ok, great, because I gotta get out of here, the smell of beets is killing me! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?", "summary": "Rachel Green confides in Phoebe Buffay about her crush on a guy who liked Phoebe first, but now likes Rachel. They agree to keep it between themselves and then Phoebe brings up the possibility of Charlie having a deaf twin."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hi honey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work! Monica Geller : Oh, of course, it's so nice to see you again, Zack! Zack : You too. Chandler Bing : You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer. Monica Geller : I got it. Zack : Thanks. Chandler Bing : So, Zack's pretty nice, uh? Monica Geller : Yeah, I guess. Chandler Bing : So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!", "summary": "Chandler brings a coworker, Zack, over for dinner with Monica, and they are both polite despite not having met before. Chandler makes a comment about wanting to have a baby that's half Monica's and half Zack's."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is \"spermtastic\"! Monica Geller : Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! \"Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm\"! Chandler Bing : No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go! Monica Geller : I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor! Chandler Bing : Ok! Monica Geller : Uh! Chandler Bing : Zack!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are considering using a sperm donor to conceive a baby. Chandler invites Zack, a potential donor, over for dinner in an effort to get to know him better. Monica is hesitant and wants to meet the donor before making a decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Zack : Thanks! Do you have a coaster? I don't wanna make a ring. Monica Geller : Tell me about yourself, Zack! Rachel Green : Oh, God, do you think she heard? It would be so bad if she heard! Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me. Rachel Green : Ok, great! Rachel Green : Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying! Phoebe Buffay : I didn't say anything yet! Rachel Green : Well, get back in there and talk! Phoebe Buffay : I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends. Rachel Green : What!?", "summary": "Zack asks Monica for a coaster to avoid making a ring, and they begin to converse. Meanwhile, Phoebe hides in a dressing room to avoid being overheard by Monica, while Rachel tries to keep her from returning. The group's conversations are interrupted when Rachel realizes she can hear Phoebe talking in the dressing room."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, some things are just hard to say to your face. Rachel Green : Ok well, I heard that! Which means that she heard it too! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! We have a problem. Rachel Green : Oh! What are we gonna do? Stranger : Just be honest with her. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Stranger : And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone... Rachel Green : Alright! Enough out of you! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Ross Geller : Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe have a problem with someone who won't tell them something directly; a stranger advises honesty. Meanwhile, Joey tries to reach Charlie on the phone."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up? Ross Geller : I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker... Joey Tribbiani : Oh! How's it going? Ross Geller : It could be better! He, uhm... he fell asleep! Joey Tribbiani : What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda! Ross Geller : Barbados. Joey Tribbiani : Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job! Ross Geller : What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder. Joey Tribbiani : Well, just wake him up! Ross Geller : I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!", "summary": "Ross is trying to become the keynote speaker at a conference, but Professor Sherman fell asleep during their meeting. Ross is worried he will not get the job and Joey tries to help him by renting a car to drive there."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!? Monica Geller : Hey guys! Dinner's ready! Zack : Oh! I'm gonna go wash up first. Thanks! Chandler Bing : So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones! Monica Geller : Ok, there's enthusiastic and there's just plain gay!! Chandler Bing : You don't like him. Monica Geller : I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information. Chandler Bing : Alright! Just follow my lead! Zack : You guys have such a great place here. Chandler Bing : Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family?", "summary": "A conversation ensues between Joey Tribbiani and Monica Geller, with Zack and Chandler Bing joining in later. The group discusses an audition for a play, with Joey sharing a personal story about falling asleep during an audition. Monica expresses enthusiasm for a potential suitor, while Chandler is hesitant and asks if there is a history of mental illness in the family."}
-{"dialogues": "Zack : Uhm... no. Although I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis. Chandler Bing : That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack. Zack : Okaaay... so eh... so tell me, how did you guys meet. Monica Geller : Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes? Zack : No... Monica Geller : Eh... Heart Disease, Alzheimers, gout? Zack : You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh? Monica Geller : We're just making conversation. Zack : Ok. I heard a joke today. It's pretty funny... Chandler Bing : You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness.", "summary": "Zack reveals he has an uncle who voted for Michael Dukakis. Monica asks if any of Zack's relatives have diabetes or other health conditions. Zack jokes about not having people over for dinner often. Chandler makes a joke about male pattern baldness."}
-{"dialogues": "Zack : Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else? Chandler Bing : Sure! Alright... Zack : Ravioli's delicious! Chandler Bing : I noticed you were enjoying that Ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth. Did you have braces as a child? Zack : No I didn't. Monica Geller : Yess!! Chandler Bing : We're teeth people Zack! Rachel Green : Alright! Let's just do it. Let's just go over there and see if she heard. Phoebe Buffay : Good plan. Rachel Green : Ok. Wha...? where? Where are you going?", "summary": "Zack is flattered but frightened by the interest shown in him, so he changes the subject to ravioli. Chandler notices Zack's nice teeth and asks if he had braces as a child. Monica agrees that they are \"teeth people.\" Rachel and Phoebe decide to follow Zack and see if he heard anything."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at \"who's more over who\"! Rachel Green : Hey, hi! Hey, where've you been? Charlie Wheeler : Oh! trying on clothes. Rachel Green : Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world! Charlie Wheeler : Rachel... I heard you guys whispering. Rachel Green : Oh God. You did. You heard. Ok, listen, let me explain. Charlie Wheeler : No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey. Rachel Green : Yeah. Charlie Wheeler : It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...? Rachel Green : Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho!", "summary": "Phoebe tries to avoid Rachel's games but ends up in a dressing room with her where they both try on clothes. Charlie overhears their whispering and reveals that Phoebe likes Joey, who she is trying to impress with a new outfit. Phoebe confesses that she is just a \"nympho\" and wants them all."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Wow! Rachel Green : Yeah... Charlie Wheeler : You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person. Rachel Green : I try... Ross Geller : Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! Professor Feesen : You're welcome. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You look... ... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness! Phoebe Buffay : Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party. Joey Tribbiani : Then don't go! Phoebe Buffay : Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.", "summary": "Rachel tells Ross that Charlie heard him tell her not to do something, and thanks Rachel for standing up for him. Ross is asked to be the keynote speaker at an event, and Professor Feeney thanks him for agreeing to do it. Joey calls Phoebe \"stop-eating hot,\" which is the highest level of hotness, and Phoebe expresses reluctance to attend a party because she doesn't want to lose face in front of Mike."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk! Phoebe Buffay : You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room. Phoebe Buffay : David? David : Phoebe! Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! David : Wow, you look unbelievable. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. What-what are you doing here? David : Well, I'm back from Minsk... permanently. Phoebe Buffay : What happened? David : Well, remember how I was trying to achieve the positronic distillation of subatomic particles?", "summary": "Mike and Joey pretend to be over each other at a party, with the intention of getting drunk afterwards. Phoebe agrees to play along but only if they don't drink the wine she made, as she doesn't want to go back to the emergency room again. David returns from Minsk and reveals that he has given up on his attempt to achieve positronic distillation of subatomic particles."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? David : Well, after eight years of research I discovered that it can't be done. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's great that you're back! How are you? David : Good, good, life is good... Phoebe Buffay : Good! David : Ah well, I-I'm seeing someone. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, good for you. David : She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said \"Boy, I want that\". Phoebe Buffay : Mike and I broke up. David : You're kidding me. Because I'm not seeing anybody, I've just totally made that up.", "summary": "David has been researching something for eight years without success. He returns and sees Phoebe, who is happy to see him. They catch up on each other's lives before David reveals he is now seeing someone. The new person is also a scientist and smart, and David attributes their relationship to his observation of Mike and Phoebe's previous relationship. However, they broke up."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Really? David : Yeah, I don't know why, I'm sorry, I guess I just didn't want to lose face. Phoebe Buffay : I understand. Yeah. Ok so then ok, so we're both living in New York, not seeing anyone. That's so not like us! David : Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now? Phoebe Buffay : Well... no. David : Do you wanna get a drink? Phoebe Buffay : I'd love to. David : Great. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. David : Do you smell beets?", "summary": "David and Phoebe are living in New York City together, but they are not seeing anyone. They run into each other and have a conversation about their current situation, during which they reveal that they both smell beets."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, got it, stay upwind of me. Charlie Wheeler : Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with? Rachel Green : No, that's David. Charlie Wheeler : There's a third guy? Rachel Green : Tip of the iceberg. Zack : I'm gonna take off now. You're gonna let me go home, aren't you? Chandler Bing : You sure you don't wanna stick around a little longer? Zack : No, no, I should get home, I'm kinda tired. Chandler Bing : Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression. Zack : No it's just tiring having to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died. I'll see you tomorrow.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Charlie Wheeler discuss Mike and David, while Rachel Green reveals that there are more men involved. Zack tries to leave but Chandler Bing convinces him to stay. Zack expresses fatigue due to his grandparents' deaths at different ages."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ok. Chandler Bing : I think we've found our sperm! Monica Geller : Does seem pretty perfect. Chandler Bing : Yeah, you think so, well? Should I ask him? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway! Monica Geller : No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you. Chandler Bing : Yeah, he's better! Monica Geller : No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else. Chandler Bing : Really? Are you sure?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica and Chandler are trying to conceive a baby through sperm donation, but Monica reveals that she doesn't care if the donor is perfect, as long as it's not Chandler. Chandler is hurt by this revelation and says he's better than the potential donor."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm sure. Chandler Bing : Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm. Monica Geller : That is so sweet. I love you. Chandler Bing : So you know this leaves us with... Monica Geller : Adoption. Chandler Bing : How do you feel about that? Monica Geller : I think I feel ok about it. Actually I think I feel really good about it. Chandler Bing : Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way. Monica Geller : So this is it, we're really gonna adopt? Chandler Bing : Yeah.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler decide to adopt a baby after realizing they don't want to have one naturally. They discuss their feelings about adoption and ultimately decide it's the right choice for them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, we're gonna be parents! Chandler Bing : We are gonna be great parents. Monica Geller : And it could be soon. I mean, think about it: right now, somewhere out there our baby could be being conceived. Chandler Bing : Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking! Chandler Bing : Hey, Zack! Zack : Hey Chandler. Chandler Bing : Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable. Zack : No you didn't. Chandler Bing : Really? Zack : No you did.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler find out they are going to be parents. They imagine their future baby being conceived somewhere in the world right now. Chandler jokes that they might be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking, and he apologizes for making Zack uncomfortable during a previous encounter."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it. Jeanette : Here are the boards for Friday's pitch . Zack : Oh, thank you. Chandler Bing : You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would ya? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go! Ross Geller : Oh, that's right! Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right? Joey Tribbiani : Mmh-mmh. Ross Geller : Can you say Barbados? Joey Tribbiani : Barbados! Ross Geller : Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.", "summary": "Chandler and Jeanette have boundary issues in their marriage, while Zack is working on a pitch for Friday. Chandler asks an inappropriate question to Jeanette, and Joey is packed and ready to go on a trip with Ross to Barbados. However, Ross has a surprise for everyone, including passes to the entire conference for the baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Do you have anything that would... get us out of them? Chandler Bing : Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, \"island's stuff\". Phoebe Buffay : I think David would probably wanna hear a few lectures. Ross Geller : Oh, right, because he's a scientist! Phoebe Buffay : No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die. Ross Geller : Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally. Ross Geller : It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility! Charlie Wheeler : Wow! This place is beautiful! Ross Geller : Look at all these paleontologists!!", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler are excited to attend a party, but Phoebe and Ross have other plans. Phoebe wants to hear lectures from David, who has been in Minsk for 8 years and will die if he gets too much direct sunlight. Ross disagrees and suggests they leave early. Joey is looking forward to a long flight with Charlie, where they will drink and get intimate under a blanket."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! Woman : Oh my God, I can't believe you're here! Joey Tribbiani : I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time! Woman : Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan! Joey Tribbiani : That... never happens... Woman : I've been following your career for years, I-I can't wait for your keynote speech. Ross Geller : Wow! This is very flattering, uh... Woman : I would love your autograph. Ross Geller : Uh, uh... Sure! Uhm... \"Dear...\" Woman : Sarah.", "summary": "Joey and Ross encounter a fan who recognizes them at a pool, with the fan being particularly excited to meet Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : \"... Sarah. I dig you\", Uh? \"Doctor Ross Geller\". Sarah : Thank you so much! Ross Geller : Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani. Sarah : Are you a paleontologist? Joey Tribbiani : No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called \"The Days of Our Lives\". Ross Geller : Dude, it's just \"Days of Our Lives\"... there's no the. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray. Sarah : I'm sorry, I don't own a TV. Joey Tribbiani : You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at?? Monica Geller : David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.", "summary": "Ross tries to impress Sarah with his intelligence and introduces her to Joey, an actor he works with. Joey is mistaken for a paleontologist and reveals he plays Doctor Drake Ramoray on TV. Sarah does not own a TV, leading to confusion among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion. Monica Geller : See? Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's the same as \"it has something to do with wind\". Monica Geller : Alright, I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there. Phoebe Buffay : Mike?? Who's Mike? David : Mike is your ex... uh... boyfriend! Phoebe Buffay : That's right! Oh, yeah... Well, I've totally forgotten about im! AH! That's-That's... a blast from the past! David : It's ok. Ho-honest mistake. Phoebe Buffay : Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!", "summary": "David explains Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion to Monica and Chandler, while Phoebe forgets about her ex-boyfriend Mike and accidentally calls him \"Mike.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : She does? Monica Geller : Let's get you out of here!! Monica Geller : At least you took me down with you! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right? Monica Geller : I guess, in time. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone. Phoebe Buffay : You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone! David : Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh? Chandler Bing : I wouldn't read too much into it.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe try to help Chandler move on from his past relationship with Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right? Chandler Bing : David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee. David : Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe... Chandler Bing : Seriously, we're gonna do this? David : I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up? Chandler Bing : Oh, because his penis was too big. Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage? David : That's great! That's great! I-I'll propose to her! Chandler Bing : What? David : Well, I was probably going to do it at some point. Chandler Bing : I didn't mean now...", "summary": "David wants advice on how to make a girl forget about her ex-boyfriend, Mike. He turns to Chandler, who suggests he propose to Phoebe as a way to distract her from Mike. David becomes excited and decides to propose to Phoebe, despite not being ready for marriage."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Why not? It's brilliant! Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely. Chandler Bing : Well, you're welcome! Glad I could help. David : How do you think I should propose? Chandler Bing : David, I'm pretending to read here!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong? Charlie Wheeler : I didn't mean a thong... I meant thongs... Joey Tribbiani : You really should have been more clear about that! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "David plans to propose to his partner, but is unsure of how to do it. Chandler pretends to read a letter while Joey and Charlie discuss thongs."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! ah! eh... Britney Spears!? Ross Geller : Yeah, she never misses these conferences! No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz! Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God! Did you talk to him? Ross Geller : Yeah... what am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz? Joey Tribbiani : You could say: \"Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?\" Ross Geller : Ready to go? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out? Charlie Wheeler : Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.", "summary": "Ross sees Dr. Kenneth Schwartz downstairs and is nervous about talking to him. Joey suggests making a joke about Britney Spears, but Ross is unsure. Charlie has seminars all day and can't hang out with them."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah. Charlie Wheeler : But maybe we can have dinner later? On the balcony? Will be romantic. Joey Tribbiani : Will you wear a thong? Charlie Wheeler : I will if you will. Joey Tribbiani : Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal! Ross Geller : I'm good, I have dinner plans . Charlie Wheeler : So you'll be ok? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming... Ross Geller : Uh, Joe, have you looked outside? Joey Tribbiani : No, why?", "summary": "Ross and Charlie want to have dinner together on the balcony, but Charlie insists that they both wear thongs. Joey is uncomfortable with this idea and suggests other activities instead, such as going to the beach or swimming. Ross declines their invitation, citing existing dinner plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Charlie Wheeler : There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! Joey Tribbiani : I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! Monica Geller : Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David. Chandler Bing : I do! Want a hint? huh? \"I do\" \"I do\". Monica Geller : Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee. Chandler Bing : David is going to propose to Phoebe. Monica Geller : What? Why? Chandler Bing : Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married. Monica Geller : Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends discuss an indoor pool and a potential proposal between David and Phoebe. Chandler gives unsolicited advice to Mike, leading to a misunderstanding with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said? Monica Geller : They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say \"No\", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again. Chandler Bing : Man, that's some bad advice! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here! Rachel Green : Hey! Hey what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous! Rachel Green : Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed! Monica Geller : Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?! Chandler Bing : That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in.", "summary": "Phoebe is hung up on Mike and thinks David will be too heartbroken to recover from a breakup, leading to Phoebe being alone again. Monica gives bad advice about Phoebe's hair in high humidity, causing her hair to become enormous. The group checks into their honeymoon resort, where they find that their photos look like they are with Diana Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling! Monica Geller : And make sure our room isn't next to theirs . Rachel Green : Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could share that with a guy. Phoebe Buffay : Not Joey. Rachel Green : Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler. Monica Geller : Yeah, right! David : So, ehm... I'm proposing to Pheobe tonight. Chandler Bing : Tonight?! Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? Oh, there it is! David : Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe want a king-size bed, while Rachel wishes she could share the romantic atmosphere with a guy. David proposes to Phoebe but reveals that his engagement ring is not very valuable due to being a failed scientist. Chandler makes a sarcastic comment about the ring's quality."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Nice! Chandler Bing : Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? Monica Geller : Ok! Chandler Bing : David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight! Monica Geller : See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to? Chandler Bing : That would be advice!! Monica Geller : Ok fine. I'll handle this. Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Monica Geller : I need to talk to you. Phoebe Buffay : Are you leaving \"The Supremes\"?", "summary": "David will propose to Phoebe tonight!"}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ok, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice. Look, David is going to propose to you tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Wow? Really? That's fantastic! Monica Geller : What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: \"Mike, do you take Phoebe...\" You know, it's every girl's dream! Monica Geller : Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna! Ross Geller : By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. Charlie Wheeler : It's great. You're gonna be the hit of the conference. Ross Geller : Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. . Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys!", "summary": "David proposes to Phoebe, who is initially surprised and then enthusiastic about marrying him. Monica is skeptical of Phoebe's decision and wonders if she should marry Mike instead. Charlie is impressed with Ross's CT scans and computer imaging technology, which he believes will be a hit at the conference. Joey interrupts the conversation to ask about chocolates on his pillow."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : The chocolates aren't here yet. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Charlie Wheeler : Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic! Chandler Bing : Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...? Ross Geller : If you want to check your email, just ask! Chandler Bing : What? May I? Rachel Green : What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season. Charlie Wheeler : Actually the wet season is June to December. Rachel Green : It's not the time Charlie. Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no, no dear God, no!", "summary": "Ross has chocolates that haven't arrived yet. Joey is frustrated. Charlie read Ross's speech and thinks it's great. Chandler wants to read Ross's speech on the computer. Rachel complains about the rain."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? Oh! Secret teapot? Chandler Bing : Your computer, I don't know wha... everything's gone! Ross Geller : Wha... what do you mean? Chandler Bing : It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive. Ross Geller : What, oh my God. What did you do? Chandler Bing : Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it. Ross Geller : Why, why would you open it? Chandler Bing : Well, it didn't say \"This is a virus\"!! Ross Geller : What did it say? Chandler Bing : Nude... ... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler accidentally deletes Ross's hard drive after opening a malicious email with nude pictures of Anna Kournikova."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler! Chandler Bing : It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right? Ross Geller : NO! I don't!! Chandler Bing : Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...! Joey Tribbiani : It's really gone? Ross Geller : Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career! Chandler Bing : I just feel awful. Ross Geller : Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament! Chandler Bing : Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... you know, you and Monica have the same \"I'm gonna kill you\" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... Ross Geller : Get out!", "summary": "Ross loses his speech and blames Chandler for not having a copy. Chandler tries to make light of the situation but Ross is furious. Joey comforts Ross, who then brings up nude pictures of Anna Kournikova and how he tried to use the \"Billy Jean King\" method on Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work. Ross Geller : Well, what do you do? Rachel Green : Well, I usually go... play Tetris on somebody else's computer. Ross Geller : I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say? Joey Tribbiani : I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions. Ross Geller : I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe! Charlie Wheeler : Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night! Ross Geller : Wha... what you really think we can do that? Charlie Wheeler : Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner . Joey Tribbiani : Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.", "summary": "Ross is struggling with a computer problem at work and resorts to playing Tetris on someone else's computer. He becomes anxious about giving a keynote speech the next day and asks for help from Joey, who offers to teach him a memorized speech from Star Wars. Charlie enters and offers to recreate Ross's speech, but they realize they have plans for dinner that night. Rachel and Joey offer to stay and help in any way they can."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ugh. Ross Geller : Alright, ok, let's do it. Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a \"Galaxy far, far away\"? . Mike Hannigan : Hello? Monica Geller : Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole \"I never want to get married\" thing and step up! Mike Hannigan : Who is this? Monica Geller : This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say \"yes\" but I know she really wants to be with you! Mike Hannigan : He... he's gonna propose? Monica Geller : I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! Mike Hannigan : Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss the shortcomings of carbon dating, with Ross moving on to the breakup of Pangea and an overview of the Triassic period. Monica tries to get Mike to overcome his reluctance to get married, while Phoebe returns from a trip with David and he plans to propose to her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? Damnit! Monica Geller : Well, I hope you're happy! Chandler Bing : Oooh! I hope you're happy too, honey! Monica Geller : Phoebe is going to say \"Yes\" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives! Chandler Bing : Phoebe is going to say \"yes\"? That's, that's great! Monica Geller : No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike! Chandler Bing : And there's not chance that will work? Monica Geller : No, I called him. It's not gonna happen. Chandler Bing : Oooooooh! Meddler! Meddler! Monica Geller : Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!", "summary": "Monica Geller tells Chandler Bing to call someone at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados, while also commenting on her own hair in humidity. Phoebe is going to say \"yes\" to David, but Monica believes she is still in love with Mike. The group meddles in each other's lives, leading to further complications."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : This vacation sucks!! Joey Tribbiani : I'm so bored! Stupid rain, we... we can't do anything. Rachel Green : Well, I've brought some books. We could read. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it hasn't come to that yet. Joey Tribbiani : Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do! Waiter : I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention? Rachel Green : We can't. We're not pharmacists! Joey Tribbiani : I know we're not, but Frank Medeio and... Eva Trorro... womba... Rachel Green : Kate Miller?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group is on a vacation that they are not enjoying due to rain. Joey suggests reading books to pass the time, but Chandler is uninterested. A waiter mistakes Joey's drink order for one intended for a pharmaceutical convention, leading to confusion and misidentification of people. The group discusses potential convention attendees, including Frank Medeio, Eva Torro, and Kate Miller."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Kate Miller it is. Rachel Green : And... that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend. Joey Tribbiani : In that case should I make sure it's on real good? Rachel Green : Thank you. Charlie Wheeler : And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's it? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh my God, we did it! Charlie Wheeler : Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech. Ross Geller : Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. That's a pretty necklace.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their weekend plans, while Joey and Charlie Wheeler argue over who said something about bringing the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. Ross mistakenly attributes his pyramid made out of bath products to himself, rather than Charlie."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Thank you. Ross Geller : Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? Charlie Wheeler : Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you. Ross Geller : Oh my God, I love you. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation? Ross Geller : That's Ben, my son from my first marriage. Charlie Wheeler : Your first marriage? Ross Geller : Yeah. Charlie Wheeler : You're married more than once? Ross Geller : No.", "summary": "Charlie and Ross celebrate something with champagne, but Charlie suggests saving the cork and using it to fill the bottle with water to avoid paying for it. Ross admires Charlie's resourcefulness and they reminisce about their past adventures together. Charlie asks about Ross's family, and Ross reveals that he has been married before and has a son named Ben from that marriage. Charlie is surprised and asks if Ross is married multiple times, to which Ross clarifies that he is not."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : So, why did you break up? Ross Geller : Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay. Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God, this is so cool! Ross Geller : Ok, odd thing to get excited about! Charlie Wheeler : No, it's just... I was enganged to a guy who turned out to be gay! Ross Geller : Hey! High-five! Charlie Wheeler : Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiance was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner. Ross Geller : My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter. Charlie Wheeler : Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: \"Oh, I knew all along\" Ross Geller : I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: \"Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay\"", "summary": "Ross and Charlie discuss their past relationships, with Ross revealing that he was in a relationship with a woman who turned out to be gay. They both find the situation amusing, with Ross joking about feeling stupid for not realizing her sexuality sooner."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : I know! Ross Geller : And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome? Charlie Wheeler : I didn't do that. Ross Geller : Me neither. Joey Tribbiani : Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun. Rachel Green : I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home. Joey Tribbiani : Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like? Rachel Green : Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts... Joey Tribbiani : But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like? Rachel Green : No.", "summary": "Ross and Charlie discuss a bad situation, then Joey and Rachel join in. Rachel mentions an old lady who was interested in Joey, while Joey asks about potential romantic connections at the pharmacy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : There it is, you're blushing! Rachel Green : No, I'm not blushing, I'm sunburnt! From, you know, the rain. Joey Tribbiani : You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? Rachel Green : No. Joey Tribbiani : Tell me who it is. Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who? Rachel Green : Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen. Joey Tribbiani : What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get? Rachel Green : Oh! Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is?", "summary": "Rachel likes someone but won't reveal their name to Joey."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, who is that? Rachel Green : Do ya? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Charlie Wheeler : Hey! Charlie Wheeler : I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner. Joey Tribbiani : Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech? Ross Geller : Yep, we got it, we got it. Thank you so much. Charlie Wheeler : I had a great time. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who... Rachel Green : Later! La...", "summary": "Ross and Charlie are planning to have dinner together, but when Joey arrives, they invite him to join them instead. The group discusses a speech they finished writing and Rachel leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : So, shall we? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Ok. See you, bye. Charlie Wheeler : Bye. Ross Geller : Good night. Joey Tribbiani : Night. Rachel Green : Ok, good night! Monica Geller : I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. She's clearly in love with Mike. Chandler Bing : You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that. David : Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say.", "summary": "Rachel considers saying yes to David but is clearly in love with Mike; Monica can't believe she's going to say yes to David; Phoebe has something important to say to David."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, let's go. Chandler Bing : I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? \"Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh...\" Spit it out, David! David : Uh, Phoebe, uh... you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help! Phoebe Buffay : Sure, ok, yeah. David : But well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So, to that end... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, Mike! David : It's David, actually! Phoebe Buffay : No, Mike's here. David : Hi Mike! Mike Hannigan : Hi David. Chandler. Monica... Oh!", "summary": "David confesses his love for Phoebe and proposes to her, surprising both of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : IT'S THE HUMIDITY! Mike Hannigan : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : What are you, what are you doing here? Mike Hannigan : I have a question I need to ask you. David : I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this. David : Ok, would you care for my seat as well? Mike Hannigan : Actually yeah, that'll be great. David : That's fair, you've had a long trip. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.", "summary": "Mike confesses his love for Phoebe and wants to spend the rest of his life with her."}
-{"dialogues": "David : Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say. Mike Hannigan : Sorry David, but she really has to know this. David : Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops. Monica Geller : You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? Now, I don't actually have a ring... David : I have a ring. Chandler Bing : I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy. David : Phoebe, will you marry me? Phoebe Buffay : No! David : Uhm... Ha ha! Phoebe Buffay : I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.", "summary": "David proposes to Phoebe, but she turns him down. Mike reveals important information about a woman they are talking about, and David wants to see Mike outside. Monica expresses her admiration for David, and Chandler teases David about his ring."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : We can have any future you want. David : Ok, I'm gonna take off. Phoebe Buffay : David, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. David : Just so I know, if I had asked first... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong. David : Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! Mike Hannigan : Is it ok if I hug you now? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Monica Geller : BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright? Chandler Bing : Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day.", "summary": "David and Phoebe have a conversation about their past interactions and mistakes they made in their relationship. David expresses regret for not asking for permission before leaving, and Phoebe admits that she might have said yes if he had. They both reflect on how things could have been different if they had taken different actions."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know. Rachel Green : Open your drapes! Open your drapes! Chandler Bing : I'm so glad we've got adjoining rooms! Monica Geller : The sun is out! Chandler Bing : Hey! Remember when I had corneas? Monica Geller : Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion. Chandler Bing : Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes. Rachel Green : Nooo! Monica Geller : Damn it! Ross Geller : Walls are pretty thin, guys!", "summary": "Ross gives a speech, but Rachel and Monica have adjoining rooms and can't hear him. Chandler has corneas, and Monica wants to reserve chairs at the pool."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating. Rachel Green : Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous! Ross Geller : Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus... Chandler Bing : Not to mention the cold sores. Ross Geller : And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development. Chandler Bing : Really? Ross Geller : But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus... Charlie Wheeler : What? Joey Tribbiani : He said \"erectus\"! Charlie Wheeler : You're... you're kidding, right?", "summary": "Plot Summary: A debate on paleontology and the discovery of new species, including herbivores like Gigantosaurus and Argentinasaurus, as well as carnivores with enlarged heads despite stunted cerebral development."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, he really said it. Ross Geller : ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus... Joey Tribbiani : Erectus? Rachel Green : Homo. Ross Geller : ... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. Thank you! Ross Geller : Oh, thanks guys! Man With A Bow Tie : I thought... it was wonderful! Ross Geller : Oh! Man With A Bow Tie : Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... . Ross Geller : Ok... now... now we're just holding hands!", "summary": "Mesozoic fossils are brought into the 21st century."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : All right! Well, uh... we're gonna hit the beach? Monica Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : It was really... great! Ross Geller : Oh, thank you so much! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and so funny! Rachel Green : Oh! Ross Geller : Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here! Mike Hannigan : You're kidding, we wouldn't have missed it! Mike Hannigan : Oh... I'm back! Ross Geller : Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica go to the beach with their friends. Ross is grateful for their support after a rough day. Joey makes a joke that impresses Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! Well...? Charlie Wheeler : You were incredible! Ross Geller : Yeah? Charlie Wheeler : You blew them away! Ross Geller : Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were mouthing the words along with me? Charlie Wheeler : I was not! Ross Geller : No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star! Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God! I'm your groupie! Ross Geller : I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room!", "summary": "Ross is thrilled to have Charlie in the audience during his concert and becomes distracted by her presence. Charlie insists she was not mouthing the words along with Ross, but Ross is convinced otherwise. The two engage in a flirtatious exchange, with Ross joking about finding Charlie naked in his hotel room."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Look, I took it too far! Monica Geller : I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!! Phoebe Buffay : Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. Not you guys. You got it going on! Monica Geller : So, what are we gonna do today? Mike Hannigan : They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff. Monica Geller : Ping pong? Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play! Chandler Bing : I don't think so! Monica Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying! Monica Geller : I'm not always that bad!", "summary": "Ross takes things too far, Monica complains about the rain, Phoebe makes a joke about paleontologists, and the group decides to play ping pong. Chandler is hesitant to join in due to Monica's competitive nature, which she denies but Chandler knows is true."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah? What happened when we played last time? Monica Geller : I punched you...? Chandler Bing : And...? Monica Geller : ... Phoebe...? Phoebe Buffay : ... and...? Monica Geller : I clunked your heads together! Charlie Wheeler : Hey! There you are! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! Charlie Wheeler : I'm sorry, I can't! I'm running a discussion group all afternoon. Joey Tribbiani : Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...", "summary": "Monica punched Chandler, Phoebe clunked heads with Monica, and Charlie can't go snorkeling because he's running a discussion group. Joey wants to go snorkeling but is worried about what will happen if the sea turtle catches him."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and especially last night... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... Charlie Wheeler : Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun! Charlie Wheeler : Yeah... Charlie Wheeler : ... is it weird that it's not with each other? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! A little bit, yeah... Charlie Wheeler : I think we need to talk...! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... I think we do... ... about what? Monica Geller : C'mon guys, it'll be fun!", "summary": "Joey and Charlie had a great time together last night without each other. They both felt bad for the other one who was stuck in a room working on Ross's speech. However, they both realized that it's not weird to have fun with someone else and they need to talk about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, all right... I'll play if we don't keep score! Monica Geller : But then how do we know who wins? Phoebe Buffay : Nobody wins! Monica Geller : So, we're just four losers... SUPER! Chandler Bing : I'm not playing with you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm out. Mike Hannigan : I'll play ya! Monica Geller : OK! Phoebe Buffay : Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing! Chandler Bing : She gets crazy! This scar is from Pictionary!", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica play a game without keeping score, but Monica wants to keep track. Phoebe objects and says they're all losers, but Monica disagrees. Chandler refuses to play, and Mike joins in despite Phoebe's warnings. The game becomes chaotic and results in a Pictionary-related injury for Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : I think I will be all right! You wanna volley a bit for a serve? Monica Geller : Sure! Got to! Monica Geller : Aww! Mike Hannigan : Oh, by the way... I'm awesome!! Chandler Bing : Oh dear God, there's two of them! Mike Hannigan : You're ready to play? Monica Geller : Hell, yeah! Chandler Bing : Did you know this about him? Phoebe Buffay : No idea! I though he was soft like you! Mike Hannigan : Wanna make it more interesting?", "summary": "Mike and Monica play volleyball, with Mike expressing confidence despite being terrible. Chandler joins in, shocked by the existence of two Mikes. Monica and Mike agree to play, with Chandler commenting on Mike's lack of skill. Phoebe enters, unaware of Mike's poor playing ability."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How much were you thinking? Mike Hannigan : Ten bucks a game? Monica Geller : Make it fifty! Mike Hannigan : I'll make it a hundred! Monica Geller : One thousand... Chandler Bing : OK! Mike Hannigan : To see who goes first, you got a quarter? Monica Geller : No... Either of you girls got a quarter? Chandler Bing : Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him! Phoebe Buffay : Monica, you call it.", "summary": "Monica and Mike argue over the bet for the game, with Monica wanting to make it more expensive while Mike insists on making it cheaper. Chandler tries to intervene by asking if they have a quarter to see who goes first, but Phoebe suggests focusing on trash talking Mike instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Heads! No, Tails! He-he-heads! Phoebe Buffay : Tails! Monica Geller : Ow, what are the chances! Monica Geller : Ha! My point! Mike Hannigan : Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point. Phoebe Buffay : He was a lawyer! Alexandra Steele : ... all these coasts having beautiful weather. In New York, it's 72 and sunny! Rachel Green : Oh! Weather bitch! Rachel Green : It's open! Hi, Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Hey...", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe play a game of heads or tails, with Monica winning. Mike reminds them of table tennis rules. Alex mentions the weather on different coasts, and Rachel greets Joe. Joey enters the scene."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What, is everything ok? Joey Tribbiani : Uh... Charlie and I broke up. Rachel Green : Nooooo, why? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, she said we have nothing in common. Rachel Green : Oh, that's crazy! Joey Tribbiani : No, it's not, we have nothing in common! Rachel Green : ... yeah, it's true. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull! Rachel Green : What, hey! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, Rach!", "summary": "Charlie and Joey broke up because they have nothing in common. Joey thinks Ross would be a better match for Charlie."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls? Rachel Green : W-What are you, what are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... What the hell is my problem? OH! Rachel Green : Ok... uh... maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl... Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me! Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm not talking about her... Joey Tribbiani : But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? Rachel Green : You know? Forget it! Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about? Rachel Green : No, I-I-I-I don't, I actually don't know who I'm talking about! So!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani feels stupid for consistently pursuing the wrong women, including his ex-girlfriend Charlie. Rachel Green tries to offer support but becomes confused and ultimately fails to help Joey understand his pattern of choices."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later! Rachel Green : Yeah, sure! Joey Tribbiani : You like me? Rachel Green : Ok, let's not make a big thing about this! Joey Tribbiani : That's a huge thing! Rachel Green : Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts musings, if you will! Joey Tribbiani : What... for how long? Rachel Green : Only like a month! Joey Tribbiani : A MONTH?? Rachel Green : What the... DIAL IT DOWN! Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! Ok, dial it up a little!", "summary": "Joey and Rachel have been thinking about their feelings for each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I just have one question! Rachel Green : Shoot! Joey Tribbiani : What the hell are you doin'??? Rachel Green : I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... what that would be like?... Joey Tribbiani : Uh, am I curious? I mean, I am as curious as... as... George!! Rachel Green : Who...? Joey Tribbiani : CURIOUS GEORGE ! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat! Rachel Green : Oh yes, of course, I remember him! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he had a paper route. Rachel Green : Yeah, he did! Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey have a conversation about their feelings towards each other, with Joey expressing curiosity about what it would be like to be in a relationship with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen! Rachel Green : But can it... just... happen a little bit? Joey Tribbiani : NO, NO! It can't happen at all! Rachel Green : But why, why not? Joey Tribbiani : Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! I couldn't do it to Ross! Rachel Green : But that wasn't gonna stop you before! Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... I'm sorry...! Rachel Green : I'm sorry, too! OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything! Joey Tribbiani : NO! No-no-no-no-no-no! Hey! Hey, we'll be fine! Li... hey, like you said: no big deal! Rachel Green : It's not a big deal!", "summary": "Joey and Rachel discuss the possibility of them being together, with Joey initially resistant but eventually coming around to the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : NO BIG DEAL! Rachel Green : It's so not a big deal! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I'll see ya later! Yeah! Rachel Green : Ok! Rachel Green : Ok, I... Rachel Green : AAAHHHH! Monica Geller : Ooh! I'm sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table! Mike Hannigan : Do you? Monica Geller : Ah, yeah! Mike Hannigan : Do you?", "summary": "Joey and Rachel are not concerned about something. Joey says he'll see her later and then leaves. Rachel repeats that it's not a big deal. Monica interrupts with an excited \"Ooh!\" and possibly knocked over a table. Mike asks if she did, and Monica confirms."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Ah, yeaaah! Mike Hannigan : DO YOU? Monica Geller : AH YEAAAAH! Chandler Bing : Do you really find this attractive on him? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now? Chandler Bing : I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one. Phoebe Buffay : C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head! Monica Geller : Oh, damn it! Phoebe Buffay : I sleep with him! Mike Hannigan : Game, point!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler engage in a playful argument over who is more attractive, while Phoebe tries to intervene and defend Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl? Mike Hannigan : You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that. Monica Geller : NO, NO, NOOO! Mike Hannigan : And that's how it's done! Chandler Bing : Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner. Monica Geller : Best out of three? Mike Hannigan : That's what I'm thinking. Chandler Bing : Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil? Monica Geller : Serve the ball, chump! Mike Hannigan : : Serve the ball, chump.", "summary": "Monica and Mike play a game of tennis, with Monica winning. Chandler joins in and loses to both Monica and Mike. The group then decides to play a best-of-three series, with Monica and Mike each winning a game. Chandler uses his invisibility power to cheat during the games."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back. Jarvis Oberblau : I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks if you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be just nifty! Ross Geller : Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. Woman : Jarvis? Jarvis Oberblau : Oh, you're back... this is my wife, Nancy. Ross Geller : Get Out! Charlie Wheeler : Ross, can I talk to you for a minute? Ross Geller : Yes, please! So, what's going on? Charlie Wheeler : Uh, well... Joey and I broke up. Ross Geller : Oh my God, wh-what happened?", "summary": "Ross and Charlie have a conversation about Joey and their breakup. Phoebe tries to get Mike to come back, but he doesn't respond. Jarvis invites Ross to his cabin in the Adirondacks."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus! Ross Geller : I knew that was him! Charlie Wheeler : Anyway I just, uh, I think it's for the best. Ross Geller : Hey, you ok? Charlie Wheeler : I guess. There was hum... there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone else. Paleontologist : Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker. Ross Geller : Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later? Professore Clerk : Or we could throw you both in now! Ross Geller : Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. . GO, GO, GO!", "summary": "Charlie Wheeler and Ross Geller are discussing their differing opinions on Joey Tribbiani, who kept laughing during a speech by a paleontologist. Charlie starts to realize she has feelings for someone else and decides it's time to end things with Joey. The conversation takes an absurd turn when a group of men, including the paleontologist, suggest throwing both Charlie and Ross into a pool."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Ok, so it's a tie again, 41 to 41. Chandler Bing : Ok, look! Enough is enough! Monica Geller : No, I have just to have two more points to beat him! Chandler Bing : Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head! Monica Geller : I can't just walk away! I've put in four hours! Chandler Bing : But... Monica Geller : Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness! Chandler Bing : What about the obsessive cleaning? Monica Geller : That's just good sense! Monica Geller : Aww!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are playing a game of darts at the bar when it reaches 41-41. Monica wants to keep playing despite blisters and exhaustion, while Chandler suggests they call it quits and go upstairs for room service and a shower. Monica refuses, insisting she's come too far to give up now."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You ok? Monica Geller : No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! Oh my God! I can't play! Mike Hannigan : So you forfeit? Phoebe Buffay : Mike wins? Monica Geller : I can't believe it! I lost! Chandler Bing : No, you didn't. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Because I'm gonna play for ya. Phoebe Buffay : You can't do that! Mike Hannigan : Oh, that's ok. I don't care which of them I beat.", "summary": "Monica loses a game and becomes upset, while Chandler offers to play for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister. Monica Geller : Honey, you don't have to do this. Chandler Bing : Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you. Monica Geller : But... you suck! Chandler Bing : You're welcome, sweetheart. Chandler Bing : All right Mike, let's get this over with. Sudden death. Whoever wins this point, wins. Mike Hannigan : Ok! Monica Geller : Oh my God! You're good! Phoebe Buffay : It's like watching porn! Chandler Bing : And that's... how... it's done!", "summary": "Phoebe and Mike are playing a game of paddleball against Monica and Chandler. Monica is not supportive of Phoebe's competitive nature, leading to a heated argument. Chandler defends Phoebe and agrees to play a sudden death point with Mike, which he wins easily."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you Hold on! I almost forgot loser! When did you stop sucking? Chandler Bing : I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was! Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Monica Geller : This is so great! Now we can enter into doubles tournaments! Chandler Bing : That's why! Charlie Wheeler : Thanks! Ross Geller : Hi. Charlie Wheeler : Are they still looking for us? Ross Geller : Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. You know, we as a group are not the coolest.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have a conversation about his tennis skills, with Monica expressing surprise and excitement. They discuss entering doubles tournaments together, and Chandler reveals that he never wanted to tell her how good he was due to unknown reasons. Charlie joins the conversation and thanks them for their help. Ross enters and mentions that the search parties are still looking for them, divided into herbivores and carnivores. The group is not considered cool."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't think they saw us. Charlie Wheeler : I don't think they did. Charlie Wheeler : Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else. Ross Geller : Oh. Can I... can I ask who? Charlie Wheeler : I think you know. Ross Geller : I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so... Ross Geller : I'm sorry... we... we can't. Charlie Wheeler : All right, all right. Ross Geller : I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. Or-or not! Rachel Green : What? Homo ergaster: Some scientists classify some African erectus specimens as belonging to a separate species, Homo ergaster, which differs from the Asian H. erectus fossils in some details of the skull .", "summary": "Ross and Charlie discuss their feelings towards each other, with Ross revealing that he has feelings for Charlie and Charlie admitting that she has started to develop feelings for someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? Chandler Bing : You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired. Monica Geller : I'll put a pillowcase over my head. Chandler Bing : You're on! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : What's up? Phoebe Buffay : Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want... Ross Geller : ... finally... Phoebe Buffay : Is that Ross? Monica Geller : Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler engage in a flirtatious exchange after Monica compliments Chandler on his ping pong skills. Phoebe joins the conversation, mentioning that Mike is taking a shower and that there's no law against it. Ross interrupts to express his frustration with something he can hear through the wall."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Sounds like he's with someone. Chandler Bing : He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him. Charlie Wheeler : Ooh... Dr. Geller! Ross Geller : God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that. Monica Geller : Oh my God, that's Charlie! Chandler Bing : She's cheating on Joey with Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Oh that tart... floozy... giant... Monica Geller : I'm not sure about this. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.", "summary": "Ross is with someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend. Rachel Green : Ooh... I love Barbados! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh... I can't believe I'm kissing you. I'm kissing Rachel! Rachel Green : I know, I'm her! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Get over here! Rachel Green : ooh... Chandler Bing : Wow!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey kiss, while Monica tries to get a drink. Phoebe refuses to eavesdrop on her friend, causing confusion among the group."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are! Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Hey, you know, before you said that nothing could happen between us? What changed? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie... Rachel Green : What? Ross and Charlie? Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk? Monica Geller : I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey? Chandler Bing : How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No-one is manning that wall! Monica Geller : I'm on it! Chandler Bing : Anything? Monica Geller : I think I hear curtains closing...", "summary": "Ross and Charlie have an affair, while Rachel and Joey rekindle their romance."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : We've got shoes being kicked off over here. Monica Geller : Bedsprings, unmistakable! Chandler Bing : You do realise that's your brother? Monica Geller : Not until you said it. Somebody switch! Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with. Chandler Bing : That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al. Monica Geller : Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon. Chandler Bing : Okay Buckwheat! Phoebe Buffay : You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! Ross Geller : Weh...*sigh* Charlie Wheeler : uhm... Is everything okay?", "summary": "Ross and Charlie discover a shoe being kicked off in the hallway, leading to a conversation about who is leaving with whom. Monica reveals that she and Chandler are leaving together, while Phoebe and Mike are also heading out as a pair. Joey and Rachel are also leaving together. The group discusses hair jokes and salon appointments before Ross makes a comment about free porn."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah, It's just... I don't think I can do this... Charlie Wheeler : Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just... Ross Geller : No, NO! Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it. Charlie Wheeler : I uhm... I completely understand. Ross Geller : Alright, I'm gonna go find them... I just need a... need a before I can... you know. Grandma... grandma... grandma... Okay, I see you later. Charlie Wheeler : Okay... Phoebe Buffay : That's the door. He's gone... Chandler Bing : And she's... turning on the TV... and watching... Miss Congeniality! Monica Geller : Honey, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well! Ross Geller : Hey, what are you guys doing?", "summary": "Ross is hesitant to continue with Charlie due to concerns about the bedspread. He needs to speak with Joey before proceeding."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... Monica Geller : Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! Chandler Bing : Bye! Ross Geller : Okay, uhm... Hey, you guys seen Joey anywhere? Chandler Bing : He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... Ross Geller : Well, if you see him could you please tell him I'm looking for him? Chandler Bing : You got it! Ross Geller : Thanks! Thank you! Monica Geller : Other wall, people! Other wall! Ross Geller : Rach, you there?", "summary": "The group says goodbye to their hotel after having a great time. Chandler mentions that Joey is probably with his current girlfriend, and Ross asks him to pass along a message. Monica directs people to other areas of the hotel."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do? Rachel Green : Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. That's not nonchalant! Joey Tribbiani : No idea what it means. Rachel Green : Oh... okay, just hide! Ross Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Coming! Try under the bed, try under the bed! Rachel Green : There's no room under the bed. Ross Geller : Is everything okay? Rachel Green : Yeah... Ross Geller : Hey.", "summary": "Ross unexpectedly shows up at Joey and Rachel's apartment, causing panic and quick thinking to hide his presence."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi... Ross Geller : You know where Joey is? Rachel Green : ...I really don't... Ross Geller : Can I talk to you for a minute? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure... Joey Tribbiani : I don't believe this... Have you guys been... Phoebe Buffay : Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall. Ross Geller : And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me. Rachel Green : Uh-huh... right... yeah... Ross Geller : And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.", "summary": "Rachel reveals that Joey and she have broken up, and Ross discovers that she has feelings for him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, I know... I know it's been really hard for you. Ross Geller : Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be? Rachel Green : That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say. Ross Geller : You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace. Rachel Green : You would think! Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Is he gone? Rachel Green : How are you doing this? Joey Tribbiani : Pssst... Rachel Green : How... wha... Hey! What are you... What is this? Have you guys been listening this entire time?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find themselves in a compromising position and must deal with Joey's anger upon discovering their kiss."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : YE-AH! Phoebe Buffay : Now, what is this? Rachel Green : Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he's with Charlie now. Monica Geller : Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you? Joey Tribbiani : You're a pain in my ass, Geller! Rachel Green : All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it... Chandler Bing : Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you? Rachel Green : Sure...", "summary": "Ross wants to talk to Rachel before he starts anything with Charlie. Joey and Monica offer their input, while Chandler asks Rachel to do something for the people who care about her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Enunciate! Rachel Green : Get out! Rachel Green : Are they right? Joey Tribbiani : Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross. Rachel Green : Yeah... Yeah, we can wait, we don't have to do anything tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I think that'd be best... So, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off... Rachel Green : Although... Joey Tribbiani : I like although! Rachel Green : I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years... Joey Tribbiani : Six years? Wow... It's almost as long as highschool...", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler argue over enunciation, while Joey suggests they should wait to make any decisions about Ross until they talk to him. Rachel and Joey then discuss their past relationship with Ross, which ended six years ago."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now. Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely! He's not thinking about you. Rachel Green : No... Joey Tribbiani : I'm thinking about you... Rachel Green : Yeah... Joey Tribbiani : Let's forget about Ross... Rachel Green : Forgotten. Joey Tribbiani : What's wrong? Rachel Green : Nothing... Ross Geller : Seriously... What is it?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying to move on from their past relationship, but they can't seem to forget about each other. Joey tries to help by focusing on Rachel, but she isn't interested. Meanwhile, Ross appears and interrupts their conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Nothing... It's really... It's nothing... Come here, come here... Ross Geller : What's wrong? Rachel Green : Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head... Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe I can help. Rachel Green : Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... we really need to talk to Ross... Both : Yeah. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : You guys ready to go?", "summary": "Rachel can't stop thinking about Ross and tries to distract herself with Joey's soft lips. Meanwhile, Ross and Chandler are ready to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing. Ross Geller : Dude! You're not taking your Bible? Chandler Bing : You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it? Ross Geller : Learn about Jesus... Ross Geller : Hey! Charlie Wheeler : So, did you talk to Joey? Ross Geller : Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller! Ross Geller : Stop it! Charlie Wheeler : PHD.", "summary": "Chandler and Ross discuss religion, with Chandler mentioning that Monica is still at the salon and he's packing. Ross suggests taking a Bible on the trip, but Chandler says it's not allowed and jokes about learning about Jesus. Charlie joins the conversation and they discuss Joey, with Ross saying he will talk to him on the plane. Dr. Geller (Ross' father) interrupts and teases Ross about his degree."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You're filthy! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, have you guys seen Monica? Ross Geller : Uh, actually I think she went to the salon. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright... Monica Geller : Check it out! Phoebe Buffay : Who's day just got better? CHANDLER! Chandler Bing : Hey!... aaaaaahhhh! Monica Geller : What do you think? Chandler Bing : I think.... I think I can see your scalp. Monica Geller : Don't you just love it?", "summary": "Monica gets a haircut and her friends react with varying degrees of shock and disgust."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ye... Yeah... Yeah... You got shellfish in your head. Charlie Wheeler : It's so... something... You go girlfriend! Ross Geller : You've never said that in your life, have you? Charlie Wheeler : Not once. Ross Geller : I thought so. Monica Geller : And listen to this... Chandler Bing : What d'ya know... It's a treat for the eyes and the ears. Joey Tribbiani : Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's almost if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life. Joey Tribbiani : Look, does someone mind switching to sit with Charlie?", "summary": "Ross and Charlie have a conversation where Ross accuses Charlie of having shellfish in her head. Charlie denies it and Ross brings up past conversations to prove his point. Monica joins in and shares a story about Chandler and Joey's strange behavior around Charlie after they broke up. Joey asks if he can switch seats with Charlie, suggesting that Air Barbados doesn't care about their personal lives."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, I uh, I mean, I... dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie. Joey Tribbiani : I understand... Ross Geller : No, I'll do it. Chandler Bing : Wish I could switch with someone. I really don't wanna sit with Allen Iverson over there. Phoebe Buffay : Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin... Mike Hannigan : You should be careful when checking your overhead bins, 'cause items may shift during... Phoebe Buffay : Aaah... you're not good at this... Mike Hannigan : You don't have to go home tonight, do you? Phoebe Buffay : No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right? Mike Hannigan : Oh...", "summary": "Ross spent the conference with Charlie, Joey doesn't want to sit next to Allen Iverson, and Phoebe offers her cabin space for Mike to move around during the flight."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What? Mike Hannigan : Uhm... I can't do anything tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Mike Hannigan : I have a date. Phoebe Buffay : You have a... You have a date? With who? Mike Hannigan : Oh, it's... my girlfriend. Phoebe Buffay : You have... have a girlfriend? Mike Hannigan : Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone. Phoebe Buffay : For how long? Mike Hannigan : Three months.", "summary": "Mike has a date with his girlfriend. He used to be in a relationship with Phoebe, but they broke up and he started seeing someone else three months ago."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her? Mike Hannigan : I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay... good. You do that. And then when you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you. Mike Hannigan : Maybe I'll sign for it. Tear it open. Pull out the packing material... Phoebe Buffay : You know what, we're gonna have sex. Let's just leave it there. Ross Geller : Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says \"duty free\". Charlie Wheeler : Okay... Good luck. Rachel Green : Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him. Joey Tribbiani : I guess so. I'm just... really nervous. Rachel Green : Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.", "summary": "Mike plans to break up with his girlfriend over dinner, while Phoebe suggests they have sex instead. Meanwhile, Ross tries to talk to Joey about his feelings, and Rachel prepares for their arrival."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ooh... Rachel Green : Still nervous? Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna get the lasagna. Ross Geller : Hey Rach... Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Do you mind if I sit here for a sec.? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at Central Perk when Joey enters with lasagna. Ross wants to sit down but Rachel agrees. Ross then brings up a personal matter regarding his ex-wife, Charlie."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Ross Geller : Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well... Joey Tribbiani : You kissed. Ross Geller : Wha... What? What would give you that idea? Joey Tribbiani : I saw you. Ross Geller : Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy. Ross Geller : Are you serious?", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss a kiss between Ross and Charlie after they broke up with their significant others."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Now I have something... Ross Geller : I am speachless... I mean the fact that you would put my happiness first like that. I mean, you're an incredible friend, you know that? Joey Tribbiani : Oh... uh... look... before you... Ross Geller : No, I mean it. You are so loyal man, and selfless, and generous... Joey Tribbiani : I am those things, yeah. Ross Geller : You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff... Joey Tribbiani : Dude! Ross Geller : Hey, if there is ever, anything I can do for you... Joey Tribbiani : I can't think of anything. Ross Geller : Thanks!", "summary": "Joey puts Ross's happiness first, leading to a heartfelt exchange of appreciation and reevaluation of friendships."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : So hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : So you eh, you talked to Joey? Ross Geller : Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk. Rachel Green : Oh! That's great! Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : Oh, so everything's okay? Ross Geller : Oh, no, it's great. It's great. He is... He is an amazing guy. Rachel Green : Ah... Well, obviously I think so too.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss Joey's well-being after their recent conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, I'm so excited about this. Rachel Green : Really? Excited? Ross Geller : Are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this... Rachel Green : Excuse me! You didn't tell him, did you? Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler. Rachel Green : Oh God! Alright, fine. You know what Joey, forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Mike's place. Mike Hannigan : Hey, it's Mike. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, that was fast.", "summary": "Ross has dirty dreams about something, while Joey and Rachel are involved in a misunderstanding involving Joey's comments about Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe calls Mike, but he answers quickly."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I. Mike Hannigan : One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table. Phoebe Buffay : Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound? Mike Hannigan : Anyway, I just wanna give you a heads up. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. Precious : Hi, I'm Precious, who are you? Phoebe Buffay : I... I'm Phoebe. Precious : Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Enchante.", "summary": "Mike Hannigan is considering breaking up with his girlfriend over the phone, but Phoebe Buffay convinces him to be honest and tell her directly. They also discuss Precious, Mike's dog, who has a liver snout and is the subject of a possible picture on Mike's coffee table."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... Ow! Chandler Bing : You go back to work tomorrow night, right? Monica Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn? Monica Geller : Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. You like that, right? Chandler Bing : What are you singing? Monica Geller : It's \"Bolero\" from \"10\". Chandler Bing : It's \"Ride of the Valkyries\" from \"Apocalypse Now\"... See, Here's The Thing The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them! Monica Geller : You what? You said you liked them. Chandler Bing : Did I? Let's refresh. I believe what I said was that I could see your scalp.", "summary": "Monica wants to show her colleagues a new hairstyle she has been working on but realizes she can't because Chandler said he would have them taken out at dawn. Monica argues that if they were taken out, then she couldn't do anything with them. Chandler mistakes Monica's singing for \"Bolero\" and responds by singing \"Ride of the Valkyries.\" Monica reveals that the cornrows were not a solution to her hair problem, but now that they are home, she doesn't have that issue anymore. Chandler admits he lied about liking the cornrows and only saw Monica's scalp."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Fine, so you don't like them. Everybody else does. Chandler Bing : Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different. Monica Geller : You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... OUCH! Chandler Bing : Hit yourself in the tooth? Monica Geller : And the eye! Ross Geller : Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? Rachel Green : That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams. Ross Geller : Ooh hey, Emma, daddy has some presents for you okay? Okay? I want you to wait right here. Come here sweetie. Rachel Green : Aaah... Ross, actually there's something that I really need to talk to you about. Ross Geller : Okay, shoot!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler argue over her hair, while Ross tries to impress Emma with gifts and Rachel has an uncomfortable interaction with her mother."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Okay, uhm... alright, here's the deal. Ross Geller : OH NO! Rachel Green : What? What is it? Ross Geller : Oh, major shampoo explosion! Rachel Green : Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy. Ross Geller : Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? Rachel Green : Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying? Rachel Green : Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and... Ross Geller : Oh, not another one! Oh my G... And this is moisturiser. It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?", "summary": "Ross experiences a major shampoo explosion in his apartment, causing chaos and destruction. Rachel reveals that she has been feeling uncomfortable about something related to Ross, but their conversation is interrupted by the mess caused by the shampoo."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow! Well, clearly this is not a good time. Ross Geller : Duh, you think? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off. Precious : I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on here. I mean, are you guys getting back together or something? Phoebe Buffay : Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie? Precious : My name is Precious. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours. Precious : I just can't believe this... Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I don't... Precious : Oh, why would he do this? I mean, what's wrong with me?", "summary": "Mike and Rachel are not meeting at the restaurant as planned, causing confusion. Phoebe tries to leave but is stopped by Precious, who demands an explanation for the mix-up. Mike and Phoebe have reconnected and are ending their relationship with Precious, who is upset and questions why."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you. Precious : I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Phoebe Buffay : Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, not a fan of the tough love. Precious : I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning. Phoebe Buffay : But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me... Precious : He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever. Phoebe Buffay : Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend. Precious : Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect. Precious : Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay helps Precious deal with her recent break-up by telling her that she deserves to be treated with respect and that Mike is not worth her time or emotions."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome! Chandler Bing : Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay? Monica Geller : Not really. Monica Geller : I have a problem. Chandler Bing : Really? What happened? Monica Geller : Well, I was dancing around, and singing \"No Woman, No Cry\" and I got stuck. Chandler Bing : You can't move at all? Monica Geller : Oh, well, I can move... Chandler Bing : If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose? Monica Geller : I guess so...", "summary": "Monica gets stuck while dancing and singing \"No Woman, No Cry,\" and Chandler offers to help her by untangling her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Some of these look a little frayed. Monica Geller : Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : So, did you err... did you tell Ross? Rachel Green : Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency. So I guess now it's your turn again. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. Rachel Green : Yeah, 'cause that's what we do. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together. Rachel Green : Okay, that sounds fair. It just means that once again we can't...", "summary": "Rachel and Joey are trying to convince Monica to tell Ross about their hair being frayed due to using a faulty curling iron. They suggest telling him together the next day, but Rachel is hesitant as she knows it will be difficult for her to confront him again after previous failed attempts."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals. Rachel Green : No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Good night! Rachel Green : Goo--ood night! Joey Tribbiani : Good night! Rachel Green : Seriously, good night! Joey Tribbiani : Stop saying good night. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Look what I found in the drawer... And you said I'd never wear this... Chandler Bing : Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?", "summary": "Joey and Rachel try to control their impulses, while Monica finds an old outfit in the drawer and Chandler makes a request."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Sure, what do you have in mind? Chandler Bing : I think you know. Monica Geller : Really? I don't really feel like it. Chandler Bing : This is what I want to do. Monica Geller : Okay, I just don't get why you like it so much. Chandler Bing : She's an FBI agent, posing as a beauty contestant. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay? Rachel Green : We weren't doing anything! Joey Tribbiani : Rach, he just saw us. Rachel Green : Shhh.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are discussing something, with Monica expressing reluctance and Chandler insisting it's what he wants to do. Joey joins in and mentions an FBI agent posing as a beauty contestant. Rachel interrupts and they all try to keep quiet."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss. Rachel Green : No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, chill! Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie. Rachel Green : Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill. Joey Tribbiani : Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but.. Rachel Green : We feel so terrible about this, Ross. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but it did happen, so... Joey Tribbiani : Ross? Rachel Green : Ross? Can we just close the door? Rachel Green : Ross, say something. Anything.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey shared a kiss in Barbados without planning it, but Joey later denied it when confronted by Rachel. They both feel guilty about it and try to move on, but the secret continues to weigh on their relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So you two are..? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : And have you .. ed? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! Rachel Green : No, no, no! Ross Geller : But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..? Joey Tribbiani : Probably. Joey Tribbiani : No, no! Rachel Green : Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts. Ross Geller : I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?", "summary": "Ross discovers that Joey and Rachel are in a relationship, leading to an awkward confrontation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, but you know what I mean. Ross Geller : Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. I'm fine! Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Absolutely. I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this. Joey Tribbiani : Ross.. Ross Geller : It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do? Rachel Green : Calm ourselves? Ross Geller : No. We should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!! Joey Tribbiani : Look, don't you think that will be a little weird? Ross Geller : Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!!", "summary": "Ross and Joey are fine with Rachel and Charlie being together. Ross offers to cook dinner for everyone tomorrow night. Joey thinks it might be weird but Ross insists it will be fine."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I do like fajitas. Monica Geller : God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives. Chandler Bing : There's a hair in my coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Hey guys! Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets. Chandler Bing : You know, it's funny. Every time you say \"triplets,\" I immediately think of three hot blonde 19-year olds. Monica Geller : That's sweet. Drink your hair. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what's all this stuff? Monica Geller : Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.", "summary": "The gang discusses adoption and the various options available, with Monica feeling overwhelmed by the decision. Phoebe meets Frank Jr. at a designated location with her triplets, while Chandler makes an inappropriate comment about the term \"triplets.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one! Monica Geller : That's not really how it works. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how does it work? Monica Geller : I don't know! Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you. Monica Geller : Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great? Frank Buffay Jr. : Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. When we're in a public place, there are certain rules. Frank Buffay Jr. : That's not what we talked about!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey.", "summary": "Buffays discuss adoption and baby-related topics; Monica seeks advice from Phoebe, who recommends her friends Bill and Colleen for help."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Good to see you. Frank Buffay Jr. : Good to see you, too. Monica Geller : Hi Frank. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi, how you doin'? Monica Geller : Oh, my goodness, they've all gotten so big! Monica Geller : Which one is which again? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him. Monica Geller : \"Willing to adopt triplets?\" No! Joey Tribbiani : Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date. Rachel Green : Well, what would we be doing?", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr. meets Monica Geller and they catch up, while Frank Jr. Jr. pulls tampon from a purse, Chandler climbs on Chandler, and Leslie throws bagels at him. The group discusses adopting triplets, but Joey is not interested."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home... Rachel Green : Feel me up? Joey Tribbiani : In a carriage! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Charlie! Rachel Green : Hey. Charlie Wheeler : Hi, hi. So.. Dreading this? Rachel Green : Oh, you bet. Joey Tribbiani : So, did you bring a little something for Ross? Charlie Wheeler : Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Oh, thanks.", "summary": "Joey wants to take Rachel on a romantic date, but she's not interested. Charlie shows up and reveals that he has something of Ross's that he found at his apartment."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out.. Ross Geller : I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! Hi Joey. And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. Come, please come in. Come in. Rachel Green : Okay, well, we brought you some wine. Ross Geller : Oh! That is so thoughtful. She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, actually, that's.. Ross Geller : Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!! Charlie Wheeler : Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little... Ross Geller : What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.", "summary": "Ross Geller discovers that his friends have brought him strange items as gifts, including underwear, a toothbrush, and a Van Halen CD. Charlie Wheeler visits and Ross becomes flustered, leading Joey Tribbiani to suggest he relax with a drink."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again. Phoebe Buffay : Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing.. Frank Buffay Jr. : I haven't slept in four years! Phoebe Buffay : That's a, that's a long time. Frank Buffay Jr. : You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.", "summary": "Three babies are sleeping while their parents, Ross and Phoebe, chat in the background. Frank Jr., who has not slept in four years due to the number of children he has, expresses his struggles with managing them."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No. Phoebe Buffay : What? Frank Buffay Jr. : No, I can't. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, no! I would never do that. No. I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one. Phoebe Buffay : What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one? Monica Geller : Thank you so much for seeing us. Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys. Colleen : Oh, please, we're happy to help. Bill : We went through the same thing when we were adopting. Chandler Bing : So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?", "summary": "Frank Buffay Jr. thinks about leaving the triplets he and Phoebe had together, but they both agree that it's not an option."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I mean, you have a lovely home. Monica Geller : Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us. Colleen : Well, actually, I think this might help. Colleen : It's pretty much all the information you need. Monica Geller : Oh my god! Colleen : Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced, and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back. Monica Geller : Thank you. I think I just had a tiny orgasm. Bill : I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us. Chandler Bing : That's great. Can I see the book? Chandler Bing : You want me to wash my hands first, don't you?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends discuss an adoption process and a book that helps them understand it. Monica becomes excited and thankful for the book, while Chandler is skeptical and asks to see it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It's.. It's just so pretty and white. Colleen : The bathroom is down the hall, to your left. Colleen : I would have told him to do it too. Monica Geller : Can I adopt you? Chandler Bing : Hey, you must be Owen. Owen : Yeah. Chandler Bing : I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too. Owen : You were? Chandler Bing : Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother. Owen : Huh?", "summary": "Monica admires the bathroom's aesthetics, Colleen helps her locate it, and Monica expresses interest in adoption. Chandler mistakenly assumes Owen is someone else and reveals his father was a den mother."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You know how to use a compass? Owen : I have a badge in it. Chandler Bing : You do? That's fantastic! Owen : You wanna see it? Chandler Bing : I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you. Owen : What?!? Chandler Bing : What? Owen : I'm adopted? Chandler Bing : I got nothing. Ross Geller : The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.", "summary": "Owen shows off his compass badge to Chandler, who then reveals that he has to leave to talk to Owen's parents about adopting him. Owen is shocked and confused by this revelation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some. Ross Geller : Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready? Ross Geller : I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. There's no weirdness, no tension. Rachel Green : No awareness. Ross Geller : We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go? Ross Geller : My fajitas!! Rachel Green : Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, I'm sorry, have I made this evening uncomfortable?", "summary": "The group of friends (Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Charlie) hang out and drink together, with Ross struggling to adjust to the idea of Rachel and Joey being together."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!! Rachel Green : Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on! Ross Geller : That is gonna hurt tomorrow! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we? Frank Buffay Jr. : No, of course we're not. Phoebe Buffay : Insane. Frank Buffay Jr. : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Alice would never go for it, right? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, I don't know, she's pretty tired, too, I think we've got her onboard. Phoebe Buffay : Well, just you know, for argument's sake, you know, hypothetically. Which one would you be willing to give up?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss fajitas and accidentally burn themselves while taking them out of the oven. Phoebe suggests taking one of Ross's kids as a joke, but Frank is unsure."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : Huh. Phoebe Buffay : Frank Jr.Jr.? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Frank Buffay Jr. : What's green and says \"hey, I'm a frog\"? A talking frog! Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny. Phoebe Buffay : Well, alright, that's fine. What about Leslie? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, so that leaves Chandler. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, no, no, you can't have Chandler, no. No, no. She's my little genius. I got big hopes for her. She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor.. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The Buffay siblings discuss their various talents and personalities, including a talking frog, burping the alphabet, and aspirations to be a doctor or realtor."}
-{"dialogues": "Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there. Frank Buffay Jr. : How about tomorrow? Phoebe Buffay : Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together. Frank Buffay Jr. : You'd do that for us? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for. Frank Jr. : Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up! Chandler Bing : Where are Bill and Colleen? Monica Geller : They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are? Chandler Bing : We have to leave!! Monica Geller : Why? What did you do in the bathroom?", "summary": "Frank and Phoebe discuss taking care of their siblings while Frank Jr. and Chandler argue about leaving a sleepover."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him. Monica Geller : Oh my god, where's my purse? No, you know what? I can replace everything in there. Get that binder, and let's go! Colleen : Hey. Bill : Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen. Colleen : I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet. Chandler Bing : But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows? Owen : I'm adopted?! Chandler Bing : See? Intuitive! Bill : What? Where did you hear that? Owen : He told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.", "summary": "Owen discovers he is adopted; Monica and Chandler try to keep it a secret while Colleen reveals she hasn't told him yet."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Which technically now you should give back! Colleen : You told him he's adopted? Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. \"Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real.\" Owen : He isn't?! Chandler Bing : We have to get out of here, baby! Ross Geller : Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey. Rachel Green : Ooy. Ross Geller : And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love? Rachel Green : Oh my god, are we supposed to answer? Ross Geller : O is for \"oh, wow!\" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.", "summary": "Owen doesn't know he's adopted and thinks Santa is real. Chandler told him he's adopted. Colleen apologizes for not having a sign or whispering it to people. Ross makes a toast to Rachel and Joey, saying L is for life and love. Rachel answers, \"Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?\" Ross says V is for surprising turn of events, which he's still fine with. E is for how normal he finds it that they're together, and one day they might get married and have children of their own."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Dude, are you okay? Ross Geller : Totally. Rachel Green : Ross, you don't seem okay. Ross Geller : I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan. Charlie Wheeler : Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off. Ross Geller : No! Charlie Wheeler : I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely. Ross Geller : Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel. Charlie Wheeler : You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay? Ross Geller : Okay.", "summary": "Ross pretends to be okay but reveals he's feeling pressured; they decide to eat flan to feel better, but Charlie unexpectedly leaves due to an early class."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Alright. Charlie Wheeler : God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so.. Rachel Green : Oh, that's okay, girls tend not to like me. Charlie Wheeler : Bye. Ross Geller : Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed! Rachel Green : You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too. Ross Geller : Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone. Rachel Green : No, no, it's just that it's getting late... Ross Geller : Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good. Ross Geller : I don't even know what that's for.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are at Central Perk, where they overhear Charlie Wheeler making a comment about Rachel. Ross responds by saying \"flan for three\" and Rachel agrees to leave with him. However, Ross realizes he has made a mistake and tries to backtrack, but it's too late."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay. Rachel Green : Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I'll see you in the morning. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this. Joey Tribbiani : It doesn't look good, does it? Joey Tribbiani : Morning. Here you go. Ross Geller : Thanks. Did you stay here all night? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : So you took off my pants and shoes? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.", "summary": "Joey stays with Ross after he gets into an argument with Rachel, who is upset about Ross kissing her in front of Joey and Chandler. The next morning, Ross finds Joey asleep in his apartment and discovers that Joey took off his pants and shoes while dancing to the Chicago soundtrack. Joey reassures Ross that nothing will happen between him and Rachel, but the situation is left unclear."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What do you mean? Joey Tribbiani : Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly.. Ross Geller : Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine! Joey Tribbiani : It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel. Ross Geller : Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long? Joey Tribbiani : That's what I hear, yeah. Ross Geller : This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Come on, I mean, you know me, you know... Ross Geller : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : I'm crazy about her.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss Rachel and their past relationship. They haven't been together in six years due to Ross's interference, and now he's wondering why they can't be together again."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : And she feels the same way? Joey Tribbiani : I think so. Ross Geller : Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it. Ross Geller : No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm sure. Joey Tribbiani : And we're okay? Monica Geller : Hey, Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : Hey.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss a girl they both like, with Ross expressing his willingness to move on. However, Joey is hesitant and reveals that he is still in love with Rachel. Monica joins the conversation, and Phoebe enters the scene unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us. Chandler Bing : Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Still, he had to find out sometime. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them? Chandler Bing : I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. Chandler Bing : So, you and Rachel tonight, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. It's actually our first official date. Chandler Bing : Wow! So tonight may be the night! You're nervous? Joey Tribbiani : Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica and Chandler reveal to Rachel and Joey that Bill and Colleen hate them, while Phoebe suggests telling Owen about his adoption. Chandler jokingly threatens to tell Emma she was an accident, before revealing he and Rachel will go on their first date."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing. Joey Tribbiani : It's OK! Chandler Bing : How can you be so confident? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I... I know exactly what I'm gonna do! Chandler Bing : Really? Like you have a routine? Joey Tribbiani : No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness. Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh. Chandler Bing : You mean like this? Joey Tribbiani : NO! Not like that, no no. No, like this.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani has confidence in his dating skills despite being crippled by fear and self-loathing. He believes each woman he dates should be appreciated for their uniqueness, but Chandler Bing disagrees. Joey explains his approach to dating, which includes looking deep into a woman's eyes, kissing her, and gently grazing her thigh. Chandler is skeptical of Joey's methods."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. Joey Tribbiani : More foosball? Chandler Bing : ...and beer!! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey sweetie! Ross Geller : WOW! Chandler Bing : Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs! Ross Geller : I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan? Chandler Bing : She went on one of those spray-on tan places.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey play foosball while drinking beer, until Monica joins them. Ross compliments Monica's legs, making Chandler uncomfortable."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Eh, you got a spray-on tan? Monica Geller : Chandler gets pedicures! Ross Geller : Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators? Chandler Bing : Why...why? Ross Geller : Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one! Chandler Bing : Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off. Ross Geller : So, do you get colours or just French tips? Monica Geller : There. Here's their card. Ross Geller : Thanks. Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... florist. Phoebe Buffay : Hey!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss pedicures and spray-on tans, with Ross expressing surprise at how good they look and considering getting one himself. Monica provides their contact information for a local salon that used to be an X-rated video store. Phoebe enters the conversation unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey Pheebs! Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town. Monica Geller : I know, Amanda! Ah! She called me too! She's the worst! Chandler Bing : Who's Amanda? Monica Geller : She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. \"Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!\" Chandler Bing : Are you trying to do a British accent? Monica Geller : Chandler gets pedicures! Chandler Bing : Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect? Phoebe Buffay : You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? \"Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!\" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!\"", "summary": "A new person moved back to town and called Monica, who is now living in a building with Chandler and Phoebe. Amanda, the newcomer, has a fake British accent and left England to move back to the United States. When Monica answered her phone, Amanda spoke with a thick British accent, leading to humor among the three friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know, and she's always bragging about all the famous people she's met. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know! \"Oh...I slept with Billy Joel\". All right, who hasn't? Monica Geller : Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, Let's just cut her out! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point! Monica Geller : Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! Have you ever done that? Chandler Bing : No, had it done to me though. Feels good ! Assistant : Alright Mr. Geller! Right this way! So, how dark do you wanna be? We have one, two or three. Ross Geller : Well... I like how you look, what are you?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are annoyed by a friend who constantly brags about all the famous people she's met, including Billy Joel. They discuss ways to deal with her, such as ignoring her calls and ditching her. Chandler shares a similar experience of being ignored by someone, and Ross enters the conversation, expressing his appreciation for Monica's appearance."}
-{"dialogues": "Assistant : Puerto Rican. Ross Geller : Two, I think a two. Assistant : You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it? Ross Geller : Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat. Assistant : Wow, you catch on quick. Ross Geller : Well, I have a PhD, so... Ross Geller : One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis... WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! Ross Geller : You sprayed my front twice! Assistant : You've never turned? Ross Geller : No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.", "summary": "Ross and a Puerto Rican assistant are performing a spraying ritual, with Ross counting and patting himself after each round of spraying. However, when it's Ross's turn, he gets confused and counts and pats twice before realizing his mistake. The assistant corrects him, and Ross becomes flustered and starts counting again."}
-{"dialogues": "Assistant : Mississippi? I said count to five'! Ross Geller : Mississippilesly? Well, how bad is it? Assistant : Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours. Ross Geller : So, how dark is it gonna get? Assistant : You got sprayed with two two' s and... Ross Geller : I'm a four? Assistant : Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out. Ross Geller : Really! Assistant : You might wanna get back in there. Ross Geller : Ok!", "summary": "Ross gets sprayed with two water balloons and his back is a zero, while Assistant predicts it will get darker for the next four hours."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? Ah, oh, ah! Ah! The same thing happened again! Assistant : You got two more twos? Ross Geller : I'm an eight! Rachel Green : Thanks for dinner. Joey Tribbiani : I thought you paid. Ha, guess we won't be going back there! Rachel Green : So. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch? Rachel Green : I say 'cheesy line', but ok. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter?", "summary": "Ross is trying to determine when a party will start based on the lack of light on the back wall. He repeatedly checks and becomes increasingly frustrated. Rachel thanks Ross for dinner, but Joey mistakes her gesture and assumes she paid. Joey suggests moving the party to the couch, but Rachel rejects his advances with a cheesy line."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I am sorry, I don't know, I am sorry, I don't know why I did that! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Ok, so sorry. Rachel Green : I am sorry! Again... I don't know, I don't know what happened, I must be nervous! Joey Tribbiani : I don't get it, Chandler loved it! Rachel Green : Ok, ok, ok. I promise, I promise, I promise, I won't do it again. I really do. I promise. This is gonna be great. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, was that good for you? Monica Geller : No, no, don't get it. Let the machine pick up. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. Could be Rachel asking if someone could baby-sit again.", "summary": "Rachel accidentally destroys Joey's painting while apologizing for something else. Chandler loves it, but Monica and Phoebe are confused."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : It could be Amanda! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Hello Monica. It's Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat! Monica Geller : You're from Yonkers! Your last name is Buffo-Martisis! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Let's see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, don't hold thy breath! Chandler Bing : Hello? Is someone on the line? Amanda Buffamonteezi : Yes, I was looking for Monica. Chandler Bing : Hang on, she's right here. Someone's on the phone, for ya. Monica Geller : We weren't picking up, it's Amanda!", "summary": "Amanda Buffamonteezi shows up at Monica's flat, pretending to be someone else, and causes confusion among the gang."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I get pedicures! Monica Geller : Hi Amanda! Actually now... it's... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then! Phoebe Buffay : Why, why, why didn't you just say no! Monica Geller : Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn't say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people! Phoebe Buffay : Fine, fine! You would not hold up well under torture! Monica Geller : And you would? Phoebe Buffay : I did! Joey Tribbiani : Rach, you sure you wanna do this? Rachel Green : Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it's just a little weird, it's you, and it's me, it's just gonna take some getting used to. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Well, how, how can we make it easier?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica invites Amanda over for dinner but changes her mind at the last minute. Phoebe and Joey try to help Monica deal with her people-pleasing tendencies. Rachel joins in on the conversation and reveals that she finds it strange to be in a situation where she is being tortured (i.e., being asked to do something uncomfortable)."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, let's work from the top down! Just work the bra, Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, yeah, got it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : This thing welded shut?! Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing. Rachel Green : Oh! Rachel Green : Ow! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Rachel Green : Well this is romantic!", "summary": "Rachel and Joey try to fix a broken bra together, but it's welded shut. They struggle to open it, with Rachel eventually yelling \"Ow!\" and Joey apologizing. The scene ends with Rachel exclaiming \"Well this is romantic!\""}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry! This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra! Rachel Green : It's a standard issue bra clasp! Joey Tribbiani : Then I blame you! Yeah! That's right! You threw me off with all your slapping! Rachel Green : Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra? Joey Tribbiani : NAH! I don't have another level!! Chandler Bing : Hold on! There is something different. Ross Geller : I went to that tanning place your wife suggested. Chandler Bing : Was that place... The Sun? Ross Geller : Oh! And it gets worse! Chandler Bing : Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani tries to take off Rachel Green's bra with one hand while his eyes are closed, claiming he can do it with ease. Rachel Green disputes this and blames Joey for throwing her off balance. They both argue about whether or not Joey wants to take off Rachel's bra. Chandler Bing interrupts and mentions a tanning place that Ross Geller went to, which leads to a discussion about Ross's experience at the salon."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!! Ross Geller : How do you count to five? Monica Geller : One Two Three... Ross Geller : Damnit! Rachel Green : oooh! Oh oh! Ross Geller : I Know! Rachel Green : oh oh! What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic? Chandler Bing : How was your date with Joey? Rachel Green : Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away! Chandler Bing : You didn't like that?", "summary": "Ross and Monica are trying to figure out how to count to five in a booth, while Rachel and Chandler discuss their respective dates."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra! Monica Geller : Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open. Rachel Green : I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me. Monica Geller : Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing? You got through that. Rachel Green : Ok, that's true. That's true, we can do this. You're right, you're right, we can do this. We're just gonna power through! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second . Rachel Green : No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through . Monica Geller : Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open! Chandler Bing : You don't know! Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica discuss their experiences with Joey touching them without their consent, leading to a conversation about their past experiences with him. They reminisce about the first time they kissed Ross and how awkward it was, but ultimately decide to power through any discomfort. Meanwhile, Chandler tries to intervene, but Monica shuts him down, and Phoebe joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Is Amanda here yet? Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here? Monica Geller : Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding, I love it! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Hi!", "summary": "Amanda is not present, and Monica apologizes for botching their plan to cut her out. Monica has a new plan, involving Chandler calling with an emergency in a few minutes. Phoebe loves the idea of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident."}
-{"dialogues": "Amanda Buffamonteezi : Hello! Amanda Buffamonteezi : It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs I don't exercise at all! Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married! Monica Geller : Yeah! Yeah! His name is Chandler and... Amanda Buffamonteezi : Smell my neck! It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent! Phoebe Buffay : Musty! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Oh! Gosh! This is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again! Monica Geller : When were we not friends? Amanda Buffamonteezi : Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel . Monica Geller : Ehm, we were friends in 1992. Amanda Buffamonteezi : No I distinctly remember you were dodging her calls and trying to avoid seeing her.", "summary": "Amanda Buffamonteezi, excited to see Monica and Phoebe after a long time, eagerly shares stories about her life, including her current lack of exercise and her natural scent. Monica corrects Amanda's memories of their past, reminding her that they were always friends despite any misunderstandings. Amanda then recounts a specific moment from 1992 when she had sex with Evil Knievel, which Monica dismisses as inaccurate."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You were going to cut me out? Phoebe Buffay : Well...kinda. Monica Geller : Oh My God! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Oh! Bugger. Should I not have said that? I feel like a perfect arse! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, in America you're just an \"ass\". Monica Geller : Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? Oh my God, are you alright? Yeah, I'll be right there. I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Was Mike with him? Monica Geller : Nope! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Got champagne?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe have a conversation about cutting each other out, but it's unclear what they mean. Monica is concerned about Chandler after he is in a car accident. Joey and Rachel enter the scene with champagne."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Yes ma'am, ready to Power through! Rachel Green : Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through ... Joey Tribbiani : Uh! Rachel Green : Ok Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. Alright! Lets do it! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, you're scaring me a little bit. Rachel Green : Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! Ok. Aha! You like that huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! yeah! Rachel Green : You like that? Let's take this into high gear. Joey Tribbiani : uh uh! Rachel Green : Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a plan to \"power through\" a task or activity, with Joey and Rachel using various phrases and actions to build up excitement and momentum. However, Joey becomes uneasy and hesitant as the conversation progresses, leading to some comedic moments."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters! Rachel Green : What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok? Joey Tribbiani : Soldier down! Monica Geller : We are not friends with Phoebe anymore. Chandler Bing : If she asks, I protested a little, but ok! Phoebe Buffay : Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute? Monica Geller : I have nothing to say to you. Amanda Buffamonteezi : Wow, my flat is twice this size! Phoebe Buffay : Please, Monica? In the hall? Amanda Buffamonteezi : Ooh, that accident must have been terrible. You look positively ghastly.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss Joey's recent knee injury while he is in the bathroom. Chandler reveals that he only \"protested a little\" during Phoebe's wedding, while Phoebe thanks God that Chandler is alive. Monica goes outside with Amanda to discuss something private, and Amanda expresses her shock at the size of Monica's flat compared to hers."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, aren't you a treat. Monica Geller : I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why? Phoebe Buffay : It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill. Monica Geller : I'm still all those things! Phoebe Buffay : You're also so generous and kind and scrappy! Monica Geller : I am scrappy. Phoebe Buffay : Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in. Monica Geller : It's because I'm scrappy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you are. And I'm so glad that you fought your way back in, because I don't know what I would do without you. Monica Geller : I won't know what I would do without you.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe have a conversation about cutting each other out of their lives, with Monica expressing frustration over Phoebe's controlling and compulsive behavior. However, they ultimately reconcile and acknowledge their deep friendship."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, I guess we should go back in. When you gave me another chance, I guess we should do the same for Amanda. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I guess you're right. Amanda Buffamonteezi : Can you believe it. I've never had any professional dance training. Glenda : Now, let me explain how this works. You go into the booth, and... Ross Geller : I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two's... and I want them all on my back. Glenda : Okay... Ross Geller : Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it? Ross Geller : Which... which... which... Which one is it? Ross Geller : OH! SON OF A BITCH! Rachel Green : What is the matter with us?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe want to give Amanda a second chance. Ross tries to explain how a machine works, but gets frustrated. Glenda helps him, but Ross becomes confused and angry."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, I know what's the matter with me. Rachel Green : No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Chandler Bing : That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that? Chandler Bing : Kinda... you know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys... Rachel Green : No, no, no... No, I mean... se-x-u-ally... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong? Chandler Bing : Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time. Chandler Bing : I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler started hooking up while still friends, which was initially awkward but eventually felt right."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah... Absolutely. I mean, just because something's difficult doesn't mean that you quit. Rachel Green : Right, totally. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so we just keep trying and trying until we... do it. Rachel Green : Yeah, and if doesn't work, then we'll be just one of those couples that never have sex. Joey Tribbiani : That's a... pla-an. Joey Tribbiani : Wow... I did not see this coming. Rachel Green : I know. Joey Tribbiani : I don't get it. I mean, I was so sure this was what I wanted. Rachel Green : Hmmm... Me too...", "summary": "Rachel and Joey discuss their struggles with sex and relationships, deciding to keep trying until they succeed despite difficulties. They then reveal that they are one of those couples who never have sex."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it? Joey Tribbiani : I guess they weren't as good friends as we are. Rachel Green : Aah... I bet you're right. Joey Tribbiani : So... Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : I love ya. Rachel Green : Love you too... Alright, I'm going to bed. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, me too. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, yeah, I'm not going anywhere for a while. Chandler Bing : Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler have sex without friends' knowledge."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Go away! I don't want to see anybody. Chandler Bing : I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in. Ross Geller : Really? Did you count Mississipily? Ross Geller : Dude, you're not tanned. Chandler Bing : No, I just had to get a picture of this. Chandler Bing : I see you later! end. Monica Geller : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Chandler Bing : Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend. Monica Geller : That place in Vermont? You can take a hint!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler have issues with tanning salons, while Monica interrupts their conversation to mention a hotel reservation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wait, you can't go away this weekend! It's Emma's birthday! Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : We're having a party. Monica Geller : Well, can't you just have the party when we get back? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : No, that day... that won't be her real birthday! Chandler Bing : Gee if only she were one and had no idea what the hell a birthday was! Ross Geller : C'mon you guys, this is really important to us. Monica Geller : Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally. Chandler Bing : There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are planning a surprise birthday party for Emma, but they can't go away that weekend. Monica and Chandler want a weekend away to reconnect emotionally, but Rachel and Ross insist on having the party then."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, can't you just go to Vermont the next day? Ross Geller : Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister. Rachel Green : And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle! Monica Geller : All right, we'll stay. We can just drive up after the party. Chandler Bing : Fine, but if we end up not doing this Maxim thing because of this party... Monica Geller : Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that! Rachel Green : You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food! Ross Geller : Hey guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hi!", "summary": "Rachel wants to have a big party for her niece's first birthday, but Ross and Monica are hesitant to stay longer than planned. Chandler is unwilling to commit to a Maxim photo shoot if they don't show up on time. Phoebe shares a fond childhood memory of her father hiding presents around the house on her birthday."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video. Rachel Green : Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, COOL!! Wow, it's like a time capsule! Ross Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people! Ross Geller : That's the hope! So, is Emma awake yet? Rachel Green : Oh no, it's still nap time. But she'll be up soon. Ross Geller : Ah, and where is Joey? Rachel Green : I said it's still nap time. Ross Geller : Hey, there is uncle Joey!", "summary": "Emma's birthday video is being made for her 18th birthday, with plans to give it to her in the future. The group comes up with ideas for the video, including footage of Emma growing up and friends who are currently babies. They also discuss living in a floating city to escape ants that will take over the world. Joey is mentioned as being awake during the conversation but not present."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday! Joey Tribbiani : 18, uh? Ross Geller : Joey, NO! Joey Tribbiani : What, what!? it's for her hot friends! Ross Geller : When they see this you'll be 52! Joey Tribbiani : And starting to think about settling down! Rachel Green : Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on? Joey Tribbiani : I'd love to! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : We were supposed to bring presents?", "summary": "Emma turns 18 and Joey and Ross argue over what to say to her. Joey wants to make a suggestive comment, but Ross vetoes the idea. Rachel offers to help set up a place for people to put Emma's presents. Joey realizes they were supposed to bring gifts."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! I wrote Emma a song. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know? Phoebe Buffay : Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says \"El-moo\"! Yeah... that's a funny cup! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey hey! Where's the birthday girl? Rachel Green : Oh, she's still napping. Chandler Bing : Oh, sure, she was probably up all night, excited about the party she knows is happening. Rachel Green : Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again. Monica Geller : All right... you're right. We're sorry. Now let's wake up Emma and get the fun time started!", "summary": "Emma is turning one year old and her friends are throwing her a party. They discuss how silly a cup with a picture of Elmo dressed as a farmer is, but Emma found it hilarious for an hour. The friends then decide to wake up Emma so they can start the celebration."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No really, she didn't sleep well last night, so we can't wake her up. Monica Geller : Are you freaking kidding me, Green? Jack Geller : HI! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : So glad you came! Jack Geller : I can't believe Emma is already one! Judy Geller : I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross Geller : There's something you didn't know about your dad! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that. Jack Geller : Thank you!", "summary": "Rachel and Monica are trying to wake up their friend Emma, but she didn't sleep well last night. Meanwhile, Jack enters the room and greets everyone, including Ross, who is jealous of all the attention being given to Emma on her first birthday. Judy shares a memory of Ross's first birthday, revealing that he pulled on his testicles so hard that they had to take him to the emergency room. Finally, Joey offers to help the Gellers with something."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us! Jack Geller : Which one are you? Monica Geller : I can't believe Emma is still asleep! Chandler Bing : I know, what are we gonna do? Monica Geller : I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up! Chandler Bing : I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe Buffay : So you're gonna... hit on her? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! My talents as an actor! Phoebe Buffay : Oh!", "summary": "Three friends plan to give a present to Emma from all of them, but they're having trouble deciding what to do. Monica suggests hitting Chandler's ribs with a platter to wake Emma up, but Chandler disagrees. Joey comes up with an idea to use his acting skills to entertain Emma, while Phoebe writes a song for her."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books! Phoebe Buffay : Or you could stick a fork in an apple! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I think Emma might like it! Rachel Green : Oh! Emma might like what? Joey Tribbiani : Um, my present! Rachel Green : What did you get her? Joey Tribbiani : Actually we prepared performances. Phoebe Buffay : Separate performances. Joey Tribbiani : But equally real! Rachel Green : Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now?", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe plan to surprise Emma with performances, but Rachel interrupts and asks them to do it now while Emma naps."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Sure, yeah! Joey Tribbiani : O K. Rachel Green : All right, let's get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us. Ross Geller : Oh, great! Phoebe Buffay : Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting! Rachel Green : So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us? Joey Tribbiani : I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma's books. Rachel Green : Oh, ok, which one? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, why, it's a... one of her favorites, uh, \"Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression\" eesh! \"Love you forever\". Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang \"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be\". . And while he rocked her, he sang \"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be\".", "summary": "Emma has a new baby and experiences post-partum depression. Joey performs a dramatic reading of \"Riding the Storm Out\" by Robert Munsch, a book about coping with depression, at a party."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow! That was amazing! Ross Geller : Thank you so much for that gift! Chandler Bing : I was not ready for this today! Ross Geller : Amazing... amazing. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe, I'm sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well. Phoebe Buffay : That's right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there's no greater gift, than the gift of music. Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma! Rachel Green : Is that it? Phoebe Buffay : No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading . \"Sex and the single mother. Finding your G-spot. #ALL# : No, no, no, no, no! Judy Geller : Hello Emma. Happy eighteenth birthday.", "summary": "Rachel surprises Ross with a gift, while Chandler isn't ready for it. Phoebe performs a song and reading for Emma's birthday, but her jokes fall flat. Judy greets Emma on her 18th birthday."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : Right now that seems so far away, seventeen years. Judy Geller : Yes, you'll be all grown up by then. We'll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here. Jack Geller : That's true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma! Judy Geller : After all, my parents died very young. Jack Geller : And my cholesterol's off the charts! Judy Geller : Remember, Emma, heart disease kills women too! Ross Geller : Ok, cut! Great. That was... that was just... yeah! Rachel Green : Ross, um, don't forget to get a shot of Emma's cake. It's in a box in the fridge. Ross Geller : Sure. Rachel Green : Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino's.", "summary": "Seventeen years into the future, Jack and Judy Geller are deceased, and their conversations with their daughter Emma are revealed through flashbacks. They discuss their own mortality, with Jack mentioning his high cholesterol, while Judy shares that her parents died young. Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel argue over a cake for Emma's birthday party."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid. Rachel Green : Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they'll copy it in icing! Monica Geller : Oh, did you do a picture of Emma? Rachel Green : Yes! On a cake shaped like a bunny. Ross Geller : Uh, Rach? Does this bakery by any chance also bake erotic cakes? Say for bachelorette parties? Rachel Green : Ross, what are you talking about? oh! Oh my God! They put my baby's face on a penis! Phoebe Buffay : oh! Now it's a party! Rachel Green : Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself! Joey Tribbiani : Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious? Judy Geller : Jack, look at this.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A group of friends discuss a bakery's creamy frosting and novelty cakes, with one friend accidentally ordering a custom cake with a inappropriate design."}
-{"dialogues": "Jack Geller : I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny! Ross Geller : I am this close to tugging on my testicles again. Rachel Green : No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter's birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now! Ross Geller : Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby's face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. . That is a weird sentence! Rachel Green : Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... Joey, don't touch it!! Joey Tribbiani : I'm so confused! Rachel Green : Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts! Chandler Bing : To be fair this one does have nuts. Ross Geller : Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake. Monica Geller : Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!", "summary": "Ross and Jack make a strange suggestion to decorate a bunny cake with a baby's face. Rachel is unhappy with the cake she received and wants a different design. Joey is confused by the situation, while Chandler makes a comment about the nuts in the cake. Monica is annoyed by Rachel's actions, including pulling her hair until she dropped the key."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? Ok! Chandler Bing : Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap? Monica Geller : We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years! Chandler Bing : We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. Monica Geller : Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour. Phoebe Buffay : And you know, I have a massage client soon. Ross Geller : You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh? Monica Geller : Alright, 5 more minutes. Ross Geller : Hello? Oh no! What happened? Ok ok, where are you? . Ok, I'll be right there. Chandler Bing : Was that Emma? Is she up?", "summary": "Emma turns 18 and her parents, Ross and Rachel, try to record a message for her birthday while they wait. However, their attempts are disrupted by their past issues and unresolved conflicts, including missed weekends away and a lack of communication over the years. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler, who were once married but have been estranged from Emma's parents for 17 years, suddenly reappear and try to reconnect with their daughter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her. Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you're leaving, I'm definitely gonna go. Monica Geller : No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us We've been complaining the longest! Ross Geller : No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone? Chandler Bing : I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday! Ross Geller : Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! Joey Tribbiani : Got it! Hey hey hey! Where do you think you're going? Chandler Bing : To the bathroom! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li... Wait a minute, there is a window in there! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! He's not getting away that easy!", "summary": "Rachel gets pulled over for speeding and forgot her license, so Ross has to bring it to her. Phoebe wants to go with him, but Monica and Chandler don't want to leave. Ross tries to stop them from leaving, but Joey is in charge and lets them go."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! Joey Tribbiani : Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it. Phoebe Buffay : No, it did not. Joey Tribbiani : No. Judy Geller : Well, we better get going, it's late. Jack's not allowed to drive at night anymore. He has trouble staying in his lane. Jack Geller : Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime. Judy Geller : Anyway, it was lovely seeing you. Joey Tribbiani : Ok! Judy Geller : Bye... Bye dear. Joey Tribbiani : Nighty-night!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang gathers at Jack and Judy's for dinner, but their visit is cut short when Jack reveals he can't drive at night due to difficulty staying in his lane. Joey tries to leave, but Judy bids them farewell."}
-{"dialogues": "Judy Geller : Nighty-night! Joey Tribbiani : Bye, bye. Phoebe Buffay : Joey? How could you just let them leave? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm not gonna mess with Jack, he's a great man, he fought for our country. Monica Geller : No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. Chandler Bing : You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I forgot you used to live here! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Estelle Leonard : Joey! It's Estelle!", "summary": "Joey lets two people leave without stopping them, and Monica reveals Jack pretended to be a Quaker during the Korean War. Chandler suggests turning the people around, and Joey forgets he used to live with Estelle."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Estelle Leonard : So, how did your audition go today? Joey Tribbiani : What audition? Estelle Leonard : The one I told you about last week? Joey Tribbiani : What? You never said anything about an audition! Estelle Leonard : Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared. Joey Tribbiani : A monologue? I don't have.. I got it. Aah! so... I'm gonna take off! Phoebe Buffay : Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute! Monica Geller : Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now! Phoebe Buffay : Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!", "summary": "Estelle Leonard gets a call about an audition, but Joey Tribbiani has no idea what she's talking about. Estelle tries to explain, but Joey becomes confused and decides to leave. Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller try to intervene, but it's too late - Joey has already left."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first. Monica Geller : Ok, ten. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else? Phoebe Buffay : No, lets just draw straws. Joey Tribbiani : Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the.. Chandler Bing : I'm begging you stop. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Monica Geller : Ok, how about this: We got wind up toys for Emma for her birthday. We can make them race, and whoever comes in last, stays! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah!! Let's do that!", "summary": "The group decides to have a race between wind-up toys they got for Emma's birthday, with the person who comes in last having to stay."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That sounds more fun than the thing we were going to do in Vermont! Monica Geller : Everybody get your toys! Phoebe Buffay : Ok! I want the dolphin! Chandler Bing : Thats a bear. Phoebe Buffay : I'm too excited! Monica Geller : Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, ladies and gentlemen, wind your toys! Chandler Bing : Ok, on your mark... Get set... GO!!! Phoebe Buffay : Go! Go! Joey Tribbiani : Come on robot!", "summary": "Plot Summary: A group of friends decide to have a race with their stuffed animals instead of going to Vermont. They divide into teams and the one who comes in last has to stay. The race begins and everyone cheers for their team, but Phoebe gets too excited and picks up the wrong animal, causing chaos."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What are you barking at? Monica Geller : Wha... How the hell is that gonna help? Chandler Bing : I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do? Joey Tribbiani : Way to go robot! Phoebe Buffay : Good job Alan! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, good race you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, see you later! Monica Geller : No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically... Chandler Bing : They left. Rachel Green : No, there isn't time to go to the bakery. We're just gonna come home... Everybody left? Alright, well just tell Emma we're gonna be there as soon as we can. Bye...", "summary": "Monica and Chandler compete in a race with their dog, but Monica realizes they didn't follow the rules and their dog never crossed the finish line. Phoebe supports Monica, while Joey teases her. Emma leaves without them, causing chaos among the friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : RACHEL! Rachel Green : OOH! God! Sorry! Ross Geller : I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver. Rachel Green : Emma's awake. Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake. Ross Geller : Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. Rachel Green : Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me. Ross Geller : Rach, she's not going to remember this. Rachel Green : I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing \"Happy Birthday\". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! They have to learn!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are unable to attend Emma's first birthday party due to a traffic ticket. They are left with an obscene cake and no one to celebrate with. Ross suggests trying to turn the cake into something else, but Rachel is disappointed and feels like she has ruined the day. She expresses her frustration at not being able to provide Emma with the special birthday experience she had envisioned."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : It's not bad. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that? Ross Geller : Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears. Rachel Green : Well, I'm very impressed. Ross Geller : Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures. Monica Geller : Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, is this a game for Emma or for Monica? Monica Geller : Game?", "summary": "Ross creates a bunny out of cake and impresses Rachel. Monica suggests organizing stuffed animals by size. Chandler misunderstands and thinks it's a game for Emma or Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Emma, you even know it's your birthday today? You're one! One-year-old, that's little. Chandler Bing : Ooh! That's my girl! Monica Geller : That's how old you are. Chandler Bing : Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom? Monica Geller : Ooh, I want one... Chandler Bing : Me too... Chandler Bing : There's no-one around. Why don't we just take this one? Monica Geller : ...and head to Canada! Chandler Bing : I was kidding. Monica Geller : I wasn't. Let's get going!", "summary": "Chandler and Monica celebrate Emma's first birthday, with Chandler joking about how old she is. Monica suggests they take Emma to Canada for her birthday, but Chandler quickly shoots down the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey, are Ross and Rachel back? Chandler Bing : No, not yet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good, I didn't miss the party. Monica Geller : What about your massage client? Phoebe Buffay : I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, if Ross and Rachel ask, I've been here the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME! Joey Tribbiani : I've been here the whole time! Ross Geller : Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs. Rachel Green : I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys! Chandler Bing : Hey, guys! Come on! You gotta see what Emma just did.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are not back yet, but Phoebe missed the party. Monica asked about her massage client, and Phoebe gave him a little something to make up for missing the party. Joey claims he's been there the whole time, but Ross and Rachel just saw him come in. Emma did something funny."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Chandler Bing : Emma, how old are you? How old are you today? Emma : Wo-ish. Rachel Green : Oh! Emma, that's right! You're that many! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Our daughter's a genius! Rach, this means... Rachel Green : NO, no science camp! Ross Geller : Damnit! I'll put a candle on the cake. Rachel Green : Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly! Monica Geller : Thanks! Ross Geller : Okay, here we go! Emma's first birthday cake... Well hey... well, blow out the candle. Come on Emma.", "summary": "Emma is a genius and turns one year old. Rachel and Ross are excited but Rachel doesn't want Emma to go to science camp."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Let's do it, come on! Ross Geller : What's wrong? Are you okay? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you made it into a bunny. Joey Tribbiani : What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay, you ready? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : A-a-and... record. Rachel Green : Okay. Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel plan to record a video message for Emma's first birthday, but Joey accidentally turns the bunny into a penis, causing confusion and hilarity ensues."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard! end. Rachel Green : You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie. Joey Tribbiani : Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time! Rachel Green : I've never given her a cookie. Have you? Joey Tribbiani : No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can! Monica Geller : Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us. Rachel Green : Of course, I'd be honored! Chandler Bing : Thanks! Monica Geller : Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang discusses whether or not to give Emma her first cookie, while also working on writing letters of recommendation for a potential adoption."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested. Monica Geller : Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much \"with the words\". Joey Tribbiani : Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!! Monica Geller : Clearly we were wrong. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one. Monica Geller : You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... \"Dear baby adoption decider people...\" Chandler Bing : So excited about your letter! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! #ALL# : Hey Phoebe!", "summary": "Dear baby adoption decider people... Joey Tribbiani wants to help Monica and Chandler adopt a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Wow! Don't you look nice?! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary. Rachel Green : OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex... Phoebe Buffay : YEAH! Chandler Bing : So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game. Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room. Monica Geller : You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe are celebrating their one-year anniversary, while Rachel asks for details about their first date, kiss, or sexual encounter. Phoebe reveals they will be attending a Knicks game, but Joey questions why she's dressed up. Phoebe jokes about having sex in a public restroom. Monica finds the idea unusual, and Chandler joins in with his own concerns."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's where people make number two!! Charlie Wheeler : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey... Charlie Wheeler : So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to... Ross Geller : Oh... Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers. Charlie Wheeler : Fine, it's fine... I'll just shower by myself... Ross Geller : B, B, B, B, B! Charlie Wheeler : Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue. Ross Geller : Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt. Ross Geller : Damnit!", "summary": "People make number 2 in a bathroom. Charlie suggests showering together but Ross has to grade papers and gives a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! I have to talk to you!! Ross Geller : Hi Amy! Amy Green : You're not Rachel. Ross Geller : Still sharp as a tack! Amy Green : Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie. Charlie Wheeler : Hi! Amy Green : Hi! Charlie Wheeler : Nice to meet you. Amy Green : H-Hi!! And you are...? Ross Geller : Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!", "summary": "Rachel's sister Amy tries to reach her but accidentally talks to Ross instead. They exchange awkward greetings before Amy realizes her mistake and hands the phone over to Rachel's sister Charlie."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday? Ross Geller : Yes, yes, you did. Ross Geller : Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants! Rachel Green : Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! Wow! You remember Joey? Amy Green : Yeah! Hey, sure! The \"Days of Our Lives\" guy! Joey Tribbiani : That's right, yeah. Amy Green : You're not good! Joey Tribbiani : Always nice to meet a fan! Rachel Green : So now, what are you doing here? Amy Green : Well, I have huge news.", "summary": "Amy bought a falafel from Ross yesterday and thinks he needs pec implants. Joey is visiting and Amy is not a fan. Amy has big news to share with Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby! Amy Green : Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? Ross Geller : Ehm... Her name is Emma. Amy Green : Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier! Ross Geller : What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart! Amy Green : Hey, your English is getting better!! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated. Ross Geller : What... what you working on? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel's baby daughter Emma is the center of attention, but Amy interrupts with a comment about Ella (Rachel's previous name for the baby). Ross corrects Amy's mistake, and Amy criticizes Rachel's choice of names. Joey is working on a recommendation for Monica and Chandler, struggling to use big words or impressive language."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Why don't you use your Thesaurus? Joey Tribbiani : What did I just say? Ross Geller : Watch. Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... \"brainy, bright, clever\", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!! Rachel Green : God! Amy Green : So beautiful. Rachel Green : Oh, I know, isn't she? Amy Green : No, I was talking about your bedding. Rachel Green : All right. What's your news, Amy? Amy Green : Oh! Um... Well... I'm getting married.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani uses a thesaurus to improve his vocabulary and impress women, while Ross Geller demonstrates how to use the tool. Rachel Green and Amy Green discuss their personal lives, with Rachel expressing excitement about her bedding and Amy revealing that she is getting married."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Oh my God! To who? Amy Green : This guy! He has a killer apartment. Rachel Green : A-And?? Amy Green : A-And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room. Rachel Green : No, what's he like? Amy Green : Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark? Rachel Green : Yeah. Amy Green : It's his dad. Rachel Green : Huh... wow, so he's gotta be... Amy Green : Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there.", "summary": "A man has an impressive apartment with an elevator that opens directly into the living room. A woman is impressed but also curious about the man himself, asking if he is nice and revealing that his father is an old boyfriend of hers. The man is rarely there due to his frequent traveling."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like... Amy Green : Myron. Hmm... I told you he was old! Rachel Green : Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn't love. Do you remember Barry? Amy Green : Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep. Rachel Green : Sometimes just nodding is ok. Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about! Amy Green : You're right, you're right! I'm gonna do it! Rachel Green : Ok. Amy Green : I'm gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right. Rachel Green : Ok, let's keep talking. Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. . Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they're in my seat. It's my anniversary. Here we are! . Can't believe it's been a whole year!", "summary": "Amy Green discovers that her friend Rachel Green almost married someone she didn't love and realizes that she should find true love for herself. Amy decides to marry her current boyfriend Myron but also continue looking for Mr Right."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : I know. This has been the best year... THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE! Phoebe Buffay : ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH! Mike Hannigan : I FEEL THE SAME WAY! Phoebe Buffay : YOU'RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY! Announcer : Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. Phoebe Buffay : Oh how lame... oh, it's so tacky, and impersonal. Mike Hannigan : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's the worst way to propose! Mike Hannigan : Excuse me... . Joey Tribbiani : Hey, finished my recommendation. Here. And I think you'll be very, very happy. It's the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe are excited about their anniversary and how much they love each other. Suddenly, an announcement comes over the loudspeaker asking someone to come up to the big screen to propose to their significant other. Phoebe is initially hesitant but eventually agrees, calling it \"lame\" and \"tacky.\" Meanwhile, Joey finishes a recommendation he was working on and exclaims that it's the longest he has spent on a computer without looking at porn."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I don't... uh... understand. Joey Tribbiani : Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya? Monica Geller : It doesn't make any sense. Joey Tribbiani : Of course it does! It's smart! I used the the-saurus! Chandler Bing : On every word? Joey Tribbiani : Yep! Monica Geller : Alright, what was this sentence originally? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, 'They are warm, nice, people with big hearts'. Chandler Bing : And that became 'they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani using a thesaurus to try to make a sentence sound smarter, much to the confusion of Chandler Bing and Monica Geller."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey Joey, I don't think we can use this. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Monica Geller : Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani . Hey, why don't you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself! Chandler Bing : You know what? You don't need a thesaurus, just write from here, your full sized aortic pump. Rachel Green : Amy, hi! Amy Green : I took your advice, I left Myron. Rachel Green : Oh, good for you! Amy Green : I know! I'm Erin Brockovich! Rachel Green : Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you! Amy Green : Thank you! So, can I stay with you?", "summary": "Monica and Joey discuss a document they signed, leading to a debate about its validity. Chandler advises Rachel to write from her heart, while Rachel supports Amy's decision to leave Myron and offers her a place to stay."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : But Erin Brockovich had her own house. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, look who's back! Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS? Amy Green : Well, I'm staying with you guys! Joey Tribbiani : What? Amy Green : We're gonna be roomies! Come on! Joey Tribbiani : You slept out here? Rachel Green : Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling 'Myron, get off!' Joey Tribbiani : But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we're getting rid of her. Rachel Green : Joey, I can't do that! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said \"Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!\" I don't need that kind of talk in my house!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel and Joey have a guest, Amy, staying with them. Rachel is uncomfortable with Amy's presence and Joey wants to get rid of her. Amy makes inappropriate comments to Joey and Rachel is annoyed by her behavior."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she's difficult, but I think it's really good that she's here. Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she's gone? Rachel Green : No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Monica made us! Rachel Green : Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don't think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn't for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it's gonna take patience, but that's ok. Amy Green : Good morning. Joey Tribbiani : Yeaah. Rachel Green : Amy, that's what I was supposed to wear today, that's why I hung it on the door. Amy Green : Oh, sweety, you can't pull this off. Rachel Green : Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.", "summary": "Rachel wants to help someone like she was helped by her friends when she first moved to the city. Joey is hesitant at first but eventually agrees. Amy enters the scene and Rachel tries to help her."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : Oh, I can't, honey. I'm gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. I am not happy. Oh... sure you wanna eat that? Joey Tribbiani : I'M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever. Chandler Bing : I doubt that! Tell her about us last year. Monica Geller : Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song. Ross Geller : Seriously? Chandler Bing : Word! Phoebe Buffay : Well, mine was worse than that. Rachel Green : Well, what happened? Phoebe Buffay : We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...", "summary": "Amy has unhappy eyebrows and Joey likes being curvy. Phoebe had a bad anniversary, Monica bought Chandler a $500 watch and wrote him a rap song, Ross doubted it, and Chandler rapped about it. Meanwhile, Rachel experienced an awkward proposal at a game."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, that is so tacky. Phoebe Buffay : Well, that's what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night! Monica Geller : Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose? Rachel Green : Phoebe, that's huge! Ross Geller : Well, do you wanna marry him? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don't think he's ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this! Chandler Bing : She's right! If I were a guy and... Did I just say if I were a guy..? Monica Geller : Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate? Monica Geller : I proposed to Chandler! Alright, moving on...", "summary": "Mike plans to propose to Phoebe but she finds out he was planning on doing it in a tacky way. Phoebe then reveals that she dumped Mike after he proposed to her in Barbados. Monica suggests that Phoebe should propose to Mike instead, but Phoebe is hesitant and feels it's desperate."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't think it was desperate, I think it was amazing! Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Well, do you think I should propose? Rachel Green : I think it could be kind of great! Ross Geller : Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, so how should I do it? Monica Geller : How about at a game, on the big screen? Rachel Green : Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? Monica Geller : What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two like that?", "summary": "Proposal plans are discussed among friends, including where and how to propose."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think? Amy Green : Nana is on the phone. Rachel Green : Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!! Amy Green : She did? Who got her condo in Boca? Rachel Green : Hello? Oh, it's our nanny! Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today? Ross Geller : No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting? Rachel Green : Menstrual cramps. Ross Geller : I don't think that's what this is. Rachel Green : Can any of you watch Emma? Monica Geller : No, sorry sweety..", "summary": "A conversation about a dead grandmother, a sick nanny, and throat pain leads to speculation about menstrual cramps and back-to-back classes."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, I've got work and then I'm proposing.. Rachel Green : Great, shoot, what are we gonna do? Amy Green : Well, I can do it. Rachel Green : Well, actually... Ross Geller : Well, can I talk to you for a sec.? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child. Rachel Green : Why not? Ross Geller : Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella! Rachel Green : Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are discussing their plans with Amy, while Phoebe proposes to her boyfriend. However, Ross expresses his concern about Amy babysitting their child due to her unusual naming choices, leading to a disagreement."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Fine, we'll call the next one Ella. Rachel Green : Wha... the next one? Ross Geller : Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby. Rachel Green : Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!! Ross Geller : I... I don't know.. Rachel Green : Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world? Amy Green : um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me... Rachel Green : Absolutely. Amy Green : Oh! Great! So how much does it pay? Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! How's the second draft of the letter coming?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their baby's name when Ross objects to naming her after a family friend. Amy, who overhears them, offers to do something selfless for another person."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency. Monica Geller : You dropped it off? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Can we read it? Can you print out another copy? Joey Tribbiani : No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. Monica Geller : You hand-wrote it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! Monica Geller : Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds! Chandler Bing : It's ok, it's ok. You know what? I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. Monica Geller : Okay good.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler want to adopt a baby, but Joey accidentally dropped off the adoption application at an agency instead of bringing it home. When they find out, Joey admits he hand-wrote the entire thing instead of using a computer."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. . Monica Geller : Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store. Chandler Bing : They loved it. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter. Monica Geller : They thought Joey was a child? Chandler Bing : She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings. Amy Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey, what did you guys do today? Amy Green : Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have a letter dropped off for them, which they are unsure about. They discuss it with Amy, who joins them on their errands."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That sounds like fun. Amy Green : Yeah, not really. Babies are dull. Rachel Green : Hey! Hi, how's my girl? Amy Green : I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready? Rachel Green : Yeah! Amy Green : Ta-daaa! Rachel Green : You pierced her ears!? Amy Green : Doesn't it make her nose look smaller? Rachel Green : You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me? Amy Green : Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been surprise, now would it?", "summary": "Amy pierces Rachel's ears without telling her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I think she looks cute. ... but I am wrong! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out. Amy Green : Why, did something happen to his falafel cart? Rachel Green : Ugh. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hi Ross. Ross Geller : Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. . Rachel Green : Nah, I don't really want her to see. Ross Geller : Why not? Monica Geller : Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.", "summary": "Ross sees Emma and becomes fixated on her hat, while Chandler and Rachel try to keep him from embarrassing himself."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat? Ross Geller : Come here Oh! There she is! Hi! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Nothing. Ross Geller : Hi! What... . Please tell me those are clip-ons. Rachel Green : Oh, they're real! Ross Geller : Did she do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her! Rachel Green : I know, I know, and you were right Ross. You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again! Amy Green : Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt! Monica Geller : I'm a cool, fun aunt!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over Ross's irresponsibility in leaving Emma with Joey's eccentric sister Amy; Chandler makes jokes about war and a mysterious object in Joey's fridge."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : O-Okay! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects! Rachel Green : I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me? Amy Green : Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Since when? Amy Green : Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : That's not a thing! Amy Green : Well, it should be. I'm gonna help babies learn how to accessorize, what colors to wear, what clothes are slimming... Rachel Green : Babies don't care if they're slim.", "summary": "Amy plans to become a baby stylist, while Rachel is skeptical and Ross dismisses the idea as nonsense."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : Enter Amy! Ross Geller : Amy, I ju... I just... I just wanna... Amy Green : What? What are you gonna do? Ross Geller : No more falafel for you! Mike Hannigan : Great game, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh, uhuh... Mike Hannigan : Why do you keep looking at the screen? Phoebe Buffay : I'm not. I'm praying. Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! Where... where are you going? Mike Hannigan : Going go to the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think you should wait.", "summary": "Ross wants to stop Amy from eating falafel after she betrayed him. Mike comments on a great game and Phoebe prays for the Knicks' win. Thor appears and Mike goes to the bathroom."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients. Announcer : Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask. Phoebe Buffay : Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? Announcer : Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. Phoebe Buffay : That's not very enlightened! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, hey! Boo us? Boo you! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... Okay, bye bye. She was nice! Rachel Green : Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out! Joey Tribbiani : Whoo-hoo!", "summary": "Mike Hannigan is proposed to by Phoebe Buffay."}
-{"dialogues": "Amy Green : You're kicking me out? Rachel Green : You put holes in my baby's ears! Amy Green : Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl! Rachel Green : I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help. Amy Green : You know what? Ever since I got here, you have been nothing but negative. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Amy Green : You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws And suddenly I am the bad guy? Rachel Green : Joey, where are those bags? Joey Tribbiani : She has a lot of crap! Amy Green : You know what? When I moved in here I thought: This is gonna be so great. Just us sisters, back together again like when we were kids, except without that stupid Jill... Oh! Who has gotten fat by the way...", "summary": "Amy Green and Rachel Green have a disagreement over Amy's decision to get her daughter's ears pierced. Amy feels Rachel is being negative and criticizes her for not wanting her to marry an older man with a nice apartment. Rachel responds by saying she has a lot of stuff to unpack and Joey Tribbiani enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Seriously? Amy Green : hm-mmm... Mom said she gained like fifteen pounds. Rachel Green : Hips or thighs? Amy Green : Ass and face. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins. Amy Green : She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff. Rachel Green : Oh, I can give you that. Amy Green : You can? Rachel Green : Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are. Amy Green : Thank you. I've got to admit, Emma does look cute.", "summary": "Amy and Rachel discuss their mother's weight gain, with Amy revealing that she gained weight in her hips and thighs, while Rachel thinks she gained weight in her face and ass. They also talk about their efforts to improve each other's lives, with Rachel acknowledging that Amy is already a \"pretty perfect\" version of herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Did you just say Emma? Amy Green : Ugh, I'm sorry... Ella. Phoebe Buffay : That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls. Mike Hannigan : But please, let's just forget the whole thing. Phoebe Buffay : I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake. Phoebe Buffay : It's in the cake, isn't it? Mike Hannigan : Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? Phoebe Buffay : What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Mike Hannigan : No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Mike Hannigan : I'm gonna do this now.", "summary": "Mike wants to propose to Phoebe but keeps trying to do it in silly ways. Meanwhile, Rachel mistakes Amy for Ella and Phoebe ruins Mike's proposals. Eventually, Mike decides to simply tell Phoebe he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Mike Hannigan : Phoebe, I... Phoebe Buffay : Wait! Oh wait! Oh no! Mike Hannigan : Ready? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Mike Hannigan : Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Mike Hannigan : I love you! Phoebe Buffay : I love you more! Mike Hannigan : Not possible! She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.", "summary": "Mike proposes to Phoebe three times and she accepts each time."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : So how is the uhm... baby styling business going? Amy Green : Not that great. It's almost if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly. Rachel Green : That's shocking! Amy Green : Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! Hello-oo Ross! He's rude! Phoebe Buffay : Hey... #ALL# : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Pheebs, what's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... HUGE engagement ring! #ALL# : OH!", "summary": "A baby styling business is struggling despite its owner's efforts. A friend's husband is rude and exhaustion from carrying an engagement ring is affecting someone."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : My God! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Congratulations! Wow!! Ross Geller : So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or did he cry? Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals! Phoebe Buffay : Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever. Joey Tribbiani : Well, hey! Well... Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... I wanna say Mike? To Phoebe and Mike! #ALL# : Whoo! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! Oh, and I have something for you! Rachel Green : Mmh-mmh! Phoebe Buffay : It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay finds her ideal man and has a memorable proposal experience."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends? Phoebe Buffay : I would, but you're the last one. Rachel Green : GIVE ME THE BOOK! Pablo Diaz, Brady Smith, huh, \"Guy-in-van\"? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my first love! Rachel Green : Oh! Monica Geller : What does the red X next to Bob Greenmore's name mean? Phoebe Buffay : Dead. Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach. Chandler Bing : Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it. Rachel Green : Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes, they are.", "summary": "Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay discuss an unspecified book; Rachel is hesitant to accept it and suggests giving it to one of her other single girlfriends. Phoebe insists that Rachel is the last one and refuses to give it away. The group then changes subjects, mentioning various acquaintances, including a man named Bob Greenmore with a red X next to his name, indicating that he has passed away. Chandler Bing joins the conversation and reveals that he should have given his \"black book\" (presumably a collection of contacts) to the group when he got married, although it was more of a...napkin with Janice's phone number on it. Finally, Phoebe incorrectly identifies the band Jethro Tull as a person."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey honey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi sweetie! Chandler Bing : Is Monica not here? Joey Tribbiani : No. Chandler Bing : Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial! Joey Tribbiani : Cool! Chandler Bing : Yeah, and I don't wanna brag but a lot of the ideas were mine! Hell, you weren't there? All the ideas were mine!!! Joey Tribbiani : That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it? Chandler Bing : Oh... I don't know, I really don't think you're right for the part. Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? I'm old! I'm tired! Hey, I'm hot I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?", "summary": "Chandler Bing announces that his agency has won a big account and he will be in a national commercial. Joey Tribbiani expresses excitement and asks if he could be cast in it, but Chandler dismisses the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : First of all. Bravo. Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this. The part calls for a stuffy college professor. Joey Tribbiani : I can do that! \"Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use...\" Oh, what's the product? Chandler Bing : Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions? Joey Tribbiani : I'm cold! Ross Geller : Hey! Charlie Wheeler : Hey! Ross Geller : Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you. Charlie Wheeler : Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations! Ross Geller : Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five! Charlie Wheeler : Wow, that's great! So, tell me about the grant!", "summary": "Ross Geller is a finalist for a large research grant and is excited to share the news with his colleagues. Joey Tribbiani expresses interest in the role of a stuffy college professor, while Chandler Bing pitches software for inter-business networking solutions. Charlie Wheeler makes a humorous comment about one of the other applicants."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the \"Paleontology Review\"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work! Charlie Wheeler : Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant? Ross Geller : Yeah. Why? Charlie Wheeler : Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant. Ross Geller : Your ex-boyfriend? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah. Ross Geller : So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed! Charlie Wheeler : No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you. Ross Geller : Well, if you think it would help. Charlie Wheeler : Yes, absolutely. I'll call him.", "summary": "Ross wants a grant for $25,000 to complete his field research, but the grant is administered by Benjamin Hobart, his ex-boyfriend. Charlie and Benjamin had a falling out, but she thinks he might help Ross get the grant. They decide to have dinner together to introduce Ross to Benjamin."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes? Charlie Wheeler : Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish. Ross Geller : We'll see how dinner goes. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, you wanna go to see a movie? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in. Monica Geller : Oh, right. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh, well. Now that I'm here I might as well help you with the cleaning and organizing! Just happen to have my label maker! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?", "summary": "Ross tries to find ways to impress his date, Charlie, by learning about her interests. Meanwhile, Phoebe helps Monica with some cleaning and organizing, and they discuss their own experiences with moving in with a partner."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe Buffay : A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys. Monica Geller : Who's Gladys? Oh! What a tragic loss! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her! Monica Geller : Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know... Phoebe Buffay : Why, you don't like her? Monica Geller : Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her! Phoebe Buffay : Really? You think? Monica Geller : Absolutely! Yes, you say to him \"I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!\" Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are discussing Chandler's request for Phoebe to give up something important to her, but Phoebe is hesitant to comply. Monica suggests Phoebe should fight for what she wants, but ultimately decides to take on the task herself."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Damn it, I did not think this through! Chandler Bing : Hey you guys. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Any word on casting yet? Chandler Bing : Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part. Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, this sounds like something I'm never gonna be interested in. Joey Tribbiani : Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! . Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in. Chandler Bing : Joe... Joey Tribbiani : Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!", "summary": "Monica gets frustrated with the casting process for a movie she wants to star in. Joey tries to convince her to consider him for the role, but Chandler dismisses him as unsuitable. Joey shows Monica his acting reels in an attempt to prove himself, but he is late for work and has to leave abruptly."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Fine! Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Work, Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Damn it! Chandler Bing : What am I gonna do now? Joey Tribbiani : Just pass it to your boss! Chandler Bing : He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own! Rachel Green : Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys. Chandler Bing : That's good! I liked it, they didn't. Joey, for God's sake, go to work! . Ross Geller : I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?", "summary": "Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani discuss a video audition for a role in a movie. Chandler is concerned that his bosses will think he's an idiot if he suggests the actor for the part, so he decides to lie and tell them he liked the tape but his bosses didn't. Rachel Green suggests that Chandler should tell Joey the truth, but Chandler is hesitant. Meanwhile, Ross Geller is excited to meet a famous director named Benjamin Hobart at a dinner party."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Sorry, looks like it's just him. Benjamin Hobart : Charlie! My God, you look absolutely stunning! Ross Geller : Well, I... I am having a good hair day. Benjamin Hobart : So good to see you. Charlie Wheeler : Me too. Ross Geller : I'm ok. Charlie Wheeler : I'm sorry... Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart. Ross Geller : It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field. Benjamin Hobart : Oh, well, likewise. Actually, not likewise. I've never heard of you until this morning, but, it's nice to be nice! Charlie Wheeler : Shall we? .", "summary": "Ross Geller meets Benjamin Hobart and is starstruck, while Charlie Wheeler is not impressed."}
-{"dialogues": "Benjamin Hobart : Thank you! . I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night? Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God, I completely forgot! Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! . Benjamin Hobart : You weren't there! Ross Geller : No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... tzz-zzz, mmm. Charlie Wheeler : Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room? Benjamin Hobart : So, tell me about it. Ross Geller : Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert. Benjamin Hobart : M-m. Ross Geller : See, there are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated. Benjamin Hobart : Break up with Charlie!", "summary": "Ross proposes to do a dig in the Painted Desert, but Benji is skeptical and suggests breaking up with Charlie."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Benjamin Hobart : What? Ross Geller : Did you just say \"break up with Charlie\"? Benjamin Hobart : Well, yes, and now. Yes I did say it, and no, I didn't not say it. Ross Geller : Kind of inappropriate, don't you think? Benjamin Hobart : I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her. Ross Geller : Are you serious? Benjamin Hobart : If you say yes then I'm serious, if you say no then I'm joking! Ross Geller : No! Benjamin Hobart : Joking it is!", "summary": "Ross and Benjamin have a conversation about breaking up with Charlie. Benjamin suggests that he needs to do it since he hasn't seen her in a long time and is starting to miss her. Ross refuses to help him break up with Charlie."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Sorry, I'm late. Monica Geller : Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting? Phoebe Buffay : No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours! Monica Geller : Wow, what's the bad news! Rachel Green : Who's Gladys? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame. Rachel Green : Oh, and Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too! Monica Geller : Huh! Rachel Green : Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...", "summary": "Phoebe gives Mike a painting she made, but he hates it and won't let her keep it. However, he does allow her to keep a box of human hair. Meanwhile, Gladys (a work of art Phoebe made) will go to Monica, who is excited to have her."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : You know, I would give her up, for you. Rachel Green : No, I couldn't let you do that. Monica Geller : But I want to. Rachel Green : But I don't want you to. Monica Geller : But I insist! Rachel Green : But I insist harder! Phoebe Buffay : Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. . Tails! Monica, she's yours! Monica Geller : No, that landed in your food! Rachel Green : No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad! Chandler Bing : Hey Joe!", "summary": "Monica wants to give Rachel up for Joey, but Rachel refuses to let her. They argue over who gets to keep Joey, until Phoebe suggests flipping a coin. The coin lands in Monica's food, and Rachel tearfully accepts the outcome."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What's up? Chandler Bing : Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry man. Joey Tribbiani : But, ehm... you watched the tape? Chandler Bing : Yeah! I... I... I liked it! But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches! Joey Tribbiani : You didn't watch the tape. Chandler Bing : What!? Of course I did! Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me? Chandler Bing : I'm not lying to you, I watched it!", "summary": "Chandler Bing watches a tape and passes it along to his bosses, but they are not interested. Joey Tribbiani is upset when he finds out that Chandler did not cast him in the play. Chandler insists that he did watch the tape, despite Joey's claims otherwise."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Well, you lied again! Chandler Bing : I watched it! Joey Tribbiani : Keep going Pinocchio! Chandler Bing : I did! Joey Tribbiani : No you didn't! Chandler Bing : I'm telling you, I watched the tape. Rachel Green : Did you watch the tape? Chandler Bing : No! Benjamin Hobart : The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem? Dr. Li : Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a group of people competing for a prize and being questioned by a panel of judges. One contestant, Joey, accuses another contestant, Chandler, of lying about watching a tape. The judges then ask questions to the contestants to determine who will win the prize."}
-{"dialogues": "Benjamin Hobart : Interesting. Ross Geller : I guess! Benjamin Hobart : Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place? Dr. Biely : Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota. Benjamin Hobart : Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday? Ross Geller : What? I... I... Benjamin Hobart : Care to venture a guess? Ross Geller : May 12th? Benjamin Hobart : That's not even kinda close! Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing? Dr. Li : Half a dozen.", "summary": "Dr. Biely proposes field work in South Dakota for his research. Benjamin asks when Dr. Geller's birthday is and Dr. Geller struggles to recall. Dr. Li reveals she will need half a dozen graduate students for her research."}
-{"dialogues": "Benjamin Hobart : I see, and Dr. Biely? Dr. Biely : Three for excavation and two for analysis. Benjamin Hobart : Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band? Ross Geller : Wha..? I need 6 graduate students. Benjamin Hobart : No! I'm sorry, we were looking for \"Baby It's You\". Baby It's You. Ross Geller : Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology. Benjamin Hobart : You're right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. Spell \"Boscodictiasaur\". Ross Geller : um... I've never heard of a \"Boscodictiasaur\". Benjamin Hobart : Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it. Ross Geller : Ok. B - O - S ...", "summary": "Plot Summary: A conversation between Benjamin Hobart and Ross Geller about a song covered by a British invasion band, but they quickly diverge into unrelated topics such as paleontology and made-up dinosaur names."}
-{"dialogues": "Benjamin Hobart : No, it starts with a silent \"M\". Ross Geller : Oh come on!! Chandler Bing : I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar! Rachel Green : But you are a liar. Chandler Bing : What did I just say? Joey Tribbiani : You still here? Chandler Bing : Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something... Joey Tribbiani : Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... Stop lying! Chandler Bing : Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape? Joey Tribbiani : You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why?", "summary": "Chandler and Joey argue over whether or not Chandler watched a tape. Chandler insists he didn't, but Joey is skeptical and calls him a liar. The conversation escalates with Chandler becoming increasingly defensive and Joey continuing to question his honesty."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, this is going well. Joey Tribbiani : Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. Joey Tribbiani : And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! . Chandler Bing : He really is a chameleon. Phoebe Buffay : Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! Monica Geller : Oh, my! Rachel Green : Wow! Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? Monica Geller : I haven't really settled on a spot yet! Rachel Green : Well, hey! How about right above the TV? . That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around Joey Tribbiani's appearance on a Japanese TV show, with him discussing how much he was paid for it and how he knows Rachel Green didn't watch the tape because she wouldn't have any comments about it. Chandler Bing makes a comment about Joey being a chameleon, and Phoebe Buffay mentions that Gladys, a new pet monkey, is now in Monica Geller's home. The group discusses where Monica will display Gladys, with Rachel suggesting above the TV."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I like that poster! Phoebe Buffay : Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom? Rachel Green : Oh! There's nothing above your bed!! Monica Geller : Are you still here? Ross Geller : Oh hi! Hello! Uh, have you come to ask me some more paleontology related questions? Uhm... your grandmother's nickname, perhaps? Aunt Margaret's pants size? Benjamin Hobart : I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process. Ross Geller : No! Stop! Benjamin Hobart : Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant. Ross Geller : Really? Benjamin Hobart : Well... there is just one small... stipulation...", "summary": "Monica likes a poster, Phoebe makes a comment about it, and Rachel adds her two cents. Ross enters the conversation mid-way through and Benjamin Hobart arrives to apologize for potentially interfering with an interview."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I have to break up with Charlie? Benjamin Hobart : Hey, you got one right! Ross Geller : You're crazy. Benjamin Hobart : Crazy, or... romantic? Ross Geller : Crazy! Benjamin Hobart : Ooor... Ross Geller : Get out! Rachel Green : O-oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?", "summary": "Ross has to break up with Charlie, but Benjamin thinks it's romantic. Ross disagrees and kicks him out. Meanwhile, Rachel finds a surprise in the living room."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price. Rachel Green : Joey, we're not keeping this! Joey Tribbiani : But it's an original Buffay... Rachel Green : Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted. Joey Tribbiani : Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!? Rachel Green : Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep. Rachel Green : She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob. Joey Tribbiani : GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE! Monica Geller : Hey! I sold that to Joey. Rachel Green : Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani buys a creepy painting from Monica, who warns him that it might be haunted. When Joey starts having strange dreams and experiences strange occurrences in his home, he becomes convinced that the painting is indeed haunted by a ghostly woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, too late. You can't give it back! Rachel Green : Yes I can! Monica Geller : No you can't. She's yours! Rachel Green : She's yours! Monica Geller : SHE'S YOURS! Rachel Green : She's yours! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : She's mine! Monica Geller : She's m-i-i-ne! Rachel Green : She's mine!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel argue over a gift that Rachel wants to give back to Monica. Monica insists it's too late and won't take it back, while Rachel refuses to give up. Phoebe tries to intervene but is unsuccessful in resolving the conflict."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : She's mine! Phoebe Buffay : You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. Rachel Green : I want Gladys! Monica Geller : She's mine! Rachel Green : She's mine! Monica Geller : She's mine! Rachel Green : She's mine! Chandler Bing : Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not. Joey Tribbiani : That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied. Chandler Bing : I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel fight over a cat named Gladys, while Phoebe tries to mediate. Chandler lies about submitting Joey's acting tape, leading to further conflict."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Excellent! Joey Tribbiani : Now, what do you say? Chandler Bing : Lying is wrong! Joey Tribbiani : And?... AND? Chandler Bing : I'm a pretty little girl. Phoebe Buffay : I knew it! Ross Geller : Your ex-boyfriend is insane. Charlie Wheeler : Did you get the grant? Ross Geller : No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.", "summary": "Ex-boyfriend is still in love with a woman despite her new relationship."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : What? Ross Geller : Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up. Charlie Wheeler : Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man. Ross Geller : Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of \"Underdog\"? Charlie Wheeler : I'm sure he was just joking, Ross. Ross Geller : If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question. Charlie Wheeler : Seriously? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur? Charlie Wheeler : Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O... Ross Geller : Damnit!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Charlie and Ross discuss a grant application that Charlie was denied, with Ross suggesting that the reviewer, Benji, may have been influenced by his friendship with Charlie. Charlie insists that Benji is not in love with him and broke up with him, and that he is an ethical man. They later go to talk to Benji, who reveals that he did ask Ross one paleontological question, but misunderstood the spelling of a fictional dinosaur."}
-{"dialogues": "Benjamin Hobart : Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here? Ross Geller : I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog! Benjamin Hobart : Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia. Ross Geller : No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth. Charlie Wheeler : Benji? Benjamin Hobart : Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life. Ross Geller : Too little, too late, Benji! Charlie Wheeler : I can't believe this. Benjamin Hobart : I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me? Ross Geller : No!", "summary": "Benjamin Hobart and Ross Geller have a confrontation over a grant application, with Benjamin revealing that he still has feelings for Ross despite breaking up with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : Yes! Ross Geller : What? Charlie Wheeler : I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic. Ross Geller : or... Benjamin Hobart : Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back? Charlie Wheeler : Maybe... Ross Geller : Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable. Charlie Wheeler : Oh God! I am so sorry, but... I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know... Benjamin Hobart : I'm sorry too... Benjamin Hobart : I love you!", "summary": "Ross and Charlie have a conversation about Benji, leading to a romantic moment. Benjamin expresses his feelings for Charlie, but they are interrupted by Ross's discomfort."}
-{"dialogues": "Charlie Wheeler : I love you too! Ross Geller : Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE! Joey Tribbiani : Gladys? Rachel Green : Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old. Joey Tribbiani : You're mean! Rachel Green : Oh, don't be such a baby! end. Ross Geller : Hey you guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, what are you doing? Mike Hannigan : Oh, figuring out our wedding plans.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about seeing other people, while Joey tries to impress Rachel with his \"Gladys\" impression. Phoebe joins the conversation and they discuss their upcoming wedding plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's funny, we were doing the same thing! Ross Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was! Chandler Bing : Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers. Phoebe Buffay : So what did you two do about it? Chandler Bing : It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell. Ross Geller : There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money. Mike Hannigan : I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry. Ross Geller : Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that. Phoebe Buffay : But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group discusses a recent wedding they attended where the cost was unexpectedly high, with Chandler sharing some cost-cutting solutions he came up with but was rejected by Monica. Ross mentions the multi-billion dollar industry of weddings and how he feels responsible for contributing to it. Phoebe expresses her surprise at the high cost and wonders if the money could be better spent elsewhere."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall? Mike Hannigan : I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. Ross Geller : I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture! Chandler Bing : Maybe you do that next time you get married! Ross Geller : No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. But maybe the time after that! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Chandler Bing : Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe want to donate their wedding money to charity and get married at City Hall instead. Ross thinks this is an incredible gesture, while Chandler jokes that they should do it next time they get married. Joey tries to contribute to the conversation by mentioning their adoption social worker is coming over, but Chandler interrupts him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : We? Chandler Bing : You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby? Chandler Bing : Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live. Monica Geller : And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity. Chandler Bing : Little people? Joey Tribbiani : Celebrity. Monica Geller : Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes? Chandler Bing : What...? NO!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are preparing for a home visit from an adoption agent, who will determine whether or not they are suitable parents. Joey offers to help, but Chandler is hesitant, fearing that their living space may not meet the agent's standards."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation! Monica Geller : Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR? Chandler Bing : I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine. Monica Geller : It isn't mine! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is! Charity Guy : May I help you? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children. Charity Guy : Well, any contribution, large or small, is always appreciated. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler search for a missing VHS tape while Joey and Phoebe make a large donation to charity."}
-{"dialogues": "Charity Guy : Well, this is very generous! Phoebe Buffay : And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous. Mike Hannigan : Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers. Phoebe Buffay : Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay. Charity Guy : Well if you like, we can include your names in our newsletter. Mike Hannigan : Not necessary. Phoebe Buffay : Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y. Mike Hannigan : And \"X\" is spelled uhm... \"Mike Hannigan\". Charity Guy : Right. Well, on behalf of the children: thank you both very much. Phoebe Buffay : Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!", "summary": "A kind stranger donates money anonymously to a charity, along with another person who wants to remain anonymous. They decline recognition and only want to help children in need."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : It does. It feels really good! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! Charity Guy : Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym. Phoebe Buffay : Mhm... it's moist. Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Emma will be up in a minute! Ross Geller : Oh, good! Rachel Green : Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry. Ross Geller : Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there. Rachel Green : Absolutely.", "summary": "Mike Hannigan and Phoebe Buffay discuss a free t-shirt promotion, while Charity Guy reveals he wore the same shirt to the gym. Phoebe comments on its moistness. Ross Geller enters and greets Rachel Green, who apologizes for hearing about his breakup with Charlie. Ross moves on by saying there are other beautiful paleontologists out there."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge! Rachel Green : So, uhm... what are you gonna do today? Ross Geller : Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground! Rachel Green : Oh my God, what!? Ross Geller : Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire! Rachel Green : Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground. Ross Geller : Be-caaauuuse... Rachel Green : All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little. Ross Geller : Seriously? Rachel Green : Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! And it was uneven for weeks!", "summary": "Ross plans to take Emma to the playground, but Rachel has a traumatic past experience at a playground and does not want Emma to go."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie! Rachel Green : Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes. Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see! Rachel Green : Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth! Ross Geller : Space is filled with orbiting children. Look, please, just come on, you know, when you'll see the look on Emma's face, I swear you won't regret it. Rachel Green : All right! Ross Geller : Good, you don't want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you? Rachel Green : Irrational, huh? All right, well, I'll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment! Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, that's the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings! Monica Geller : Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a disagreement about their daughter Emma's love for swings, with Ross insisting they are safe and Rachel expressing fear for her safety. Ross invites Rachel to join him and Emma on a trip to an amusement park, in an attempt to help Rachel overcome her fears."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ok, ok, here we go. Monica Geller : Ok. Chandler Bing : Here we go. Stand up straight. Big smile. Phoebe Buffay : Hello, is this the creepy residence? Monica Geller : We're waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I'm glad you're here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this . I don't know if you wanna use it, but... Phoebe Buffay : Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won't be needing a veil, I actually won't be wearing a dress at all! Monica Geller : I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding! Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, we're not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity. Monica Geller : That's crazy! . I am sorry. I just can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that! Phoebe Buffay : We, you know, we're different! We don't care about having a huge party. This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? And, ow, I look , why, well, radiant. All right, well, who cares, I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica are preparing for their wedding, but Phoebe reveals that she won't be wearing a dress and instead will donate the wedding funds to a children's charity. Monica is shocked and cannot imagine giving up her one wedding day like that."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That's right. You're making a commitment and that's the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it? Phoebe Buffay : City Hall. Monica Geller : Ow! Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up! Phoebe Buffay : It's ok, it's ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding. Monica Geller : Yay! Chandler Bing : But you already gave all your money to charity! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'll just ask for it back! Chandler Bing : I don't think you can do that! Monica Geller : Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids! Chandler Bing : That's sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are discussing wedding plans, with Monica heading to City Hall for jury duty and Phoebe wanting a big wedding. Chandler objects to Phoebe asking for money she previously donated to charity, and Monica defends her decision to prioritize the wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, careful. Ross Geller : Ok. Rachel Green : Careful, watch her hair. WATCH HER HAIR! Ross Geller : Rach, she's got like three hairs! Rachel Green : I know but they're just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out. Ross Geller : I promise you she's safe! No watch how much she loves this. Rachel Green : Ok. Ross Geller : Ready sweety? Rachel Green : Ok. Ross Geller : Here we go!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are discussing her hair, with Ross expressing concern for its delicate state and Rachel praising its beauty despite accidentally pulling one out."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok, careful, ok. Oh, she's smiling! Oh my God, she does like it! Ross Geller : See, I told you! Rachel Green : Awe! Oh my God! Looks, she's a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push? Ross Geller : Oh, absolutely! Rachel Green : Ok. Oh God. Get the camera, it's in the diaper bag. Ross Geller : Ok! See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly Ow! Mike Hannigan : We're seriously asking for our money back? Phoebe Buffay : It's for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting. Charity Guy : Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don't think that that's ever happened before. Phoebe Buffay : Gay, go.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are at an amusement park with their friend's child, where Rachel is excitedly pushing the child on a swing. Mike and Phoebe are nearby, discussing their upcoming wedding and debating whether they should ask for a refund from the charity that donated to their wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Oh my God, I love your shirt! Phoebe Buffay : The donation we made earlier, we k..., we w..., we want it back. Charity Guy : Excuse me? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn't want, but it turns out we do. Charity Guy : So you're asking us to refund your donation to the children? Mike Hannigan : Yeah! This feels really good. Phoebe Buffay : I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me. Charity Guy : Hey, it's not my business, besides it's probably a good thing. We really would have been spoiling the children, all those food, and warm clothing... Phoebe Buffay : Hey, that's not fair! A person's wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn't have a graduation party! And I didn't go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to \"kill me\" or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it. Mike Hannigan : She could have been talking about either one of us.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Mike Hannigan donate money to a charity, but then they want it back when they realize it was for a wedding they didn't originally want. Charity Guy refunds their donation, but Phoebe insists that her wedding is important to her. The conversation ends with Mike saying that either one of them could have been the person being described."}
-{"dialogues": "Laura : Hi, I am Laura, I am here for your adoption interview. Monica Geller : Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in. Laura : Thank you! Monica Geller : Would you like something to drink? Laura : Oh, water would be fine. Monica Geller : Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We're really excited about getting this process started. Chandler Bing : Oh, because we love kids. Love 'em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law. Laura : Your place is just lovely. Monica Geller : Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it. Laura : You know, I... I feel like I've been here before. Are any other couples in the building adopting?", "summary": "Laura and Monica are conducting an adoption interview, with Chandler present. They discuss their excitement about starting the adoption process and Laura expresses a feeling of familiarity with the building."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. Chandler Bing : But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building. Laura : Oh... Chandler Bing : What? Laura : I just realized why I remember this place. Monica Geller : Really? What is it? Laura : Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well. Monica Geller : Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani? Laura : Yes! Chandler Bing : Of course it was!", "summary": "Monica and Laura discuss a couple on the first floor and consider getting a baby before them. Chandler thinks the building is wholesome, but Laura reveals she previously dated someone who lived in the building and it didn't end well (Joey)."}
-{"dialogues": "Laura : Yeah, we had a really great night and in the morning he promised he would call me and he didn't. Chandler Bing : RAT BASTARD! Laura : So you're not friends with him? Chandler Bing : OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! No! Laura : Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... Joey Tribbiani : Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? OW! Laura : What was that? Chandler Bing : Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though. Rachel Green : Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay? Ross Geller : SON OF A BITCH! Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word!", "summary": "Laura shares a story about a guy who promised to call her but didn't. Chandler calls him a \"rat bastard\" and says he's not friends with him. Joey enters the conversation and asks if anyone ordered a celebrity. Rachel asks Ross if he's okay after he accidentally uses an expletive."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life. Ross Geller : No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice. Rachel Green : Ross, c'mon, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt? Ross Geller : No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of. Rachel Green : I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair. Ross Geller : Look, I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears. Rachel Green : Alright fine. I'll do it. Ross Geller : Good. Rachel Green : If you hold a spider. Ross Geller : WHAT? WHERE? WHERE?", "summary": "Ross tries to convince Rachel to get on a swing despite her fears, leading to an argument about their past."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : IF you hold a spider. Ross Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Guys? Everything ok? It's me, Joe... Chandler Bing : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!! Laura : What's going on? Chandler Bing : Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. Joey Tribbiani : Guys!? Monica Geller : Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Chandler Bing : WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!", "summary": "Bert roams the halls and causes chaos among the friends."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Everything doesn't sound fine! Laura : Is he alright out there by himself? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie. Laura : Bert and Ernie! Chandler Bing : You can't make this stuff up! Mike Hannigan : You never told me about that guy on your sweet sixteen. Oh, ugh. I'm sorry about that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him. Mike Hannigan : Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. Just like the kids I took the money from. Mike Hannigan : No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.", "summary": "Joey is concerned about his brother Ernie, who has a caretaker named Bert. Laura mistakes Ernie for Bert and Gus from Sesame Street. Chandler reveals that Joey's older brother was shot on his sweet sixteen. Mike apologizes for not knowing about the incident. Phoebe had a difficult childhood and relates to the children she helps by taking their money."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted. Mike Hannigan : Alright, fine. We'll give the money back. Phoebe Buffay : And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time. Phoebe Buffay : We're back! Charity Guy : Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM. Mike Hannigan : No, no, we're here to give the money back. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, because you know what, it's... it's all about the children. Phoebe Buffay : Although... it's also about the wedding... Ugh, alright... here. No... Oh God... Oh! Charity Guy : If I haven't said so already sir, congratulations! Mike Hannigan : Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. Now... what do you think we should do?", "summary": "Phoebe and Mike want to get married but they don't have enough money. They return the tainted money they raised for a charity, despite Charity Guy's initial resistance."}
-{"dialogues": "Charity Guy : You know what? It's not your decision anymore. Mike Hannigan : What? Charity Guy : On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money. Phoebe Buffay : But... but... but we're giving you this! Charity Guy : Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. Phoebe Buffay : Well, this is very generous! Charity Guy : Please, take the check, go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together. Mike Hannigan : Well, I mean... It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation. Charity Guy : Absolutely! And when you do, make sure you ask for Brian. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, is that you?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a charity donation from Mike and Charlie to a children's charity in New York City. The Charity Guy rejects their money on behalf of the children, stating it is not their decision anymore. He then offers to give them a check as a contribution instead. Phoebe Buffay is thrilled with the generosity while Mike Hannigan is hesitant about the charity's decision. The conversation ends with the Charity Guy inviting Mike and Charlie to return in a few years with an even bigger donation, and asking them to ask for Brian when they do."}
-{"dialogues": "Charity Guy : No! Monica Geller : Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. Chandler Bing : Wrong number? Monica Geller : It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list. Chandler Bing : That's great! Monica Geller : Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh... Chandler Bing : Hello...? Have you seen Joey's bat? Rachel Green : Ok... I got a spider. There were two, I picked the bigger one. Ross Geller : Ok... Rachel Green : Ok...", "summary": "A wrong number leads to excitement as a couple (Monica and Chandler) learn they are on a waiting list for adoption."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing! Rachel Green : Ok... O-k... Rachel Green : Ok... Rachel Green : whoo... ok... wow... ok... OH! Ross Geller : See? Rachel Green : A-alright! I can do this. Ross Geller : There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore. Rachel Green : That's because he's on your neck. Ross Geller : Well... Whaa... aaah... aaahhh... Rachel Green : ROSS! end.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are on a swing set, with Ross encouraging Rachel to sit on a swing while he sits next to her. Despite initial hesitation, Rachel manages to get comfortable and enjoy the ride."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey guys! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : We need to talk to you about something. Chandler Bing : Yeah. We don't feel like we can host Thanksgiving this year. #ALL# : What? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Chandler Bing : Well, it's just with uhm, work and the stress of adoption, we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us. Ross Geller : That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel want to host Thanksgiving, but Chandler and Ross don't feel up for it due to work stress and adoption struggles."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No, no! We made this decision together. Ross Geller : She's putting words in your mouth! Joey Tribbiani : Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths! Rachel Green : I can't believe this! This is Emma's first Thanksgiving! Monica Geller : No, it's not! Rachel Green : It's not? When was she born? Phoebe Buffay : Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break. Monica Geller : Thank you, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Sure. It's just as well... I mean, last year wasn't very good. I think she's losing her touch. Monica Geller : What? You are way off, lady!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over who came up with a decision, while Joey makes a turkey-related joke. Monica defends herself against Phoebe's criticism of her parenting."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Am I? Really? Am I? Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong! Well, think about it, think about it, you'll be trying to top than you did last year. You'd be in competition... with yourself. Monica Geller : That's my favourite kind! Okay, we are doing this! Chandler Bing : Don't let yourself get manipulated this way! Monica Geller : Hey, stay out of this, Chandler! This is between me... and ME! Chandler Bing : We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Happy Thanksgiving! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, happy needless-turkey-murder day. Monica Geller : You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me? Phoebe Buffay : You're not making the pies yourself?", "summary": "Phoebe and Monica challenge each other to cook Thanksgiving dinner, with Monica insisting she can top her own previous efforts. Chandler tries to intervene, but Monica shuts him down. Meanwhile, Rachel joins in on the fun and Happy Thanksgiving is said multiple times."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick. Rachel Green : Did you at least win the contest? Monica Geller : 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4. Rachel Green : Can't wait! Monica Geller : This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year \"me\"! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : What's Emma doing today? Rachel Green : Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant.", "summary": "Monica enters a pie-eating contest when younger, but doesn't win. Rachel asks if she won and Monica reveals she ate 12 pies in 2 minutes before feeling sick. Phoebe then brings up Emma's activities and suggests entering her in a baby beauty pageant."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God! That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog! Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe, all babies are beautiful! Phoebe Buffay : Oh... okay. Rachel Green : Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy... Rachel Green : And a thousand dollars. Rachel Green : ...is something I'm very interested in! Oh please, do not tell Ross. He still believes that what's in the inside is important... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition. Rachel Green : Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I was thinking...", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe discuss a baby beauty pageant where they will pit their friends' babies against each other for a trophy and $1000. Rachel is interested in participating but is hesitant due to her belief that what's on the inside matters more than physical appearance. Phoebe suggests getting Emma, one of the babies competing, a cowgirl outfit for the pageant."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, take the clothes of Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Did someone drop the baton again? Chandler Bing : Why come all the way from Kansas to do that? Monica Geller : I don't get older. I just get better! Chandler Bing : You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon! Monica Geller : You don't know that. Chandler Bing : Somebody is gonna pick us. Monica Geller : Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks! Chandler Bing : I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. What, he's my favourite author!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang discusses adoption and the possibility of having a baby soon. Chandler suspects they will receive news from the adoption agency soon, while Monica remains skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Name one of his books. Chandler Bing : \"The Firm\"? Monica Geller : Ok, let's see... uhm, okay, the turkey is in the oven, the stuffing is ready... Chandler Bing : You know, you always cook this meal all by yourself. Let me help this year. Monica Geller : Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Doctor Phil tells you to do. Chandler Bing : I'm serious, let me do something, just not the turkey or the stuffing, nothing \"high profile\". Monica Geller : Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it. Chandler Bing : Tell me more. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these Not with soap!! Chandler Bing : You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Monica Geller and Chandler Bing are preparing Thanksgiving dinner together. Monica tries to get Chandler to help with the meal, but he insists on only doing \"low-profile\" tasks like washing dishes. They bicker and Monica eventually leaves to check on something across the hall."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has! Joey Tribbiani : Three tickets to today's Rangers game!! Ross Geller : Dude, I wanted him to guess. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they're great seats too! Ross Geller : Guess where they are? Joey Tribbiani : Center ice. Ross Geller : Did I do something to you? Chandler Bing : Hmm, the game's at one.", "summary": "Ross and Joey have tickets to a Rangers game, with center ice seats. Joey gives them to Ross without asking, and Ross is upset that he didn't get to guess where they were."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So? Chandler Bing : Dinner is at four, we'll never gonna make it back. Joey Tribbiani : So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time. Chandler Bing : You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, two times that happened! Chandler Bing : Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go! Ross Geller : He's right, man. Joey Tribbiani : Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four. Chandler Bing : Okay. And get ready to taste my very special cranberries. Or should I say... chanberries! Joey Tribbiani : That's some gentle comedy, dude.", "summary": "Chandler and Ross are planning a dinner party, but Chandler is concerned that they won't make it back in time. Joey tries to reassure him, but Chandler brings up past instances where Joey has gotten lost or needed to be picked up. Monica is not enthusiastic about hosting the party and Ross agrees with Chandler. The conversation ends with Chandler joking about his \"chanberries\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : We're still going at the game, right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Yeah. Host : This is contestant number sixteen, Rebecca... Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid! Phoebe Buffay : We can't leave now! There was this one baby, Haley, who was favourite to win and she got croup, so she had to stay home! This competition just blew wide open, folks! Rachel Green : Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a competition where contestants are bringing their babies to compete in various challenges. The characters discuss the various babies and their chances of winning, with Phoebe Buffay being particularly invested in the competition. They also make jokes about the babies and their parents, with Rachel Green finding the whole thing too weird. Eventually, they decide to leave early as it is already 3pm and they have dinner plans."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : But Emma's got what it takes, she could go all the way! Rachel Green : Phoebe, you have to calm down. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma! Rachel Green : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : You heard them say that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : All right, okay. Alright, let's give to these babies something to cry about! Phoebe Buffay : Good! Oh yay! Let's get down to business! Emma needs some makeup! Rachel Green : No, what?", "summary": "Emma has potential to be a top contestant in a beauty pageant."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants! Rachel Green : No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby! Phoebe Buffay : Why not! Rachel Green : Because I already did! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Bob, get off the guy! Ross Geller : Oh! What a game, huh? Joey Tribbiani : I know, yeah. Ross Geller : I can't believe Chandler is missing this! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, I am really enjoying Nacho Chair. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.", "summary": "Rachel and Phoebe argue over makeup for Rachel's baby, while Joey tries to intervene and Ross expresses disappointment that Chandler is missing the game. Meanwhile, Joey enjoys Nacho Chair despite Ross's discomfort."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ohhhh! These seats are great! Ross Geller : I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner! Joey Tribbiani : Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner. Ross Geller : Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know... Ross Geller : One more fight! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Monica Geller : Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late! Chandler Bing : I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group is late to dinner due to watching a hockey game. Ross wants to stay for one more goal, but Joey is hesitant. Monica arrives and finds out that everyone is late, including Chandler who is upset about ruining cranberry day."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : How late are we? Ross Geller : Forty-five minutes. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Ross Geller : Here! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! Ross Geller : You may want to lose the foam finger! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : You are not at Thanksgiving?", "summary": "Joey and Ross are late for Thanksgiving dinner with Rachel and Phoebe, who have already started without them. Joey suggests they slip in unnoticed, but Ross objects to bringing his infamous foam finger. Phoebe joins the conversation and reveals that she is not attending the dinner either."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No... Phoebe Buffay : No, we're late! Rachel Green : What are you doing here! Ross Geller : We're late too! Joey Tribbiani : We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time. Phoebe Buffay : Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani! Ross Geller : So, nobody's here? Monica's gonna kill us! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, where were you! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, what's with the trophy! Phoebe Buffay : Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee!", "summary": "The group is running late to a dinner reservation and argues about who is responsible for being late."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : And I won! Ross Geller : You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee. Rachel Green : Yes! Y-E-S. Yes! Ross Geller : Let me see this... Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division. Rachel Green : Yeah. That's me! Ross Geller : You entered Emma into a Beauty Pageant? Phoebe Buffay : And it looks like she put makeup on her! Joey Tribbiani : Wait a second, wait a second, where have I seen that cowgirl outfit before... Ross Geller : I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable! Rachel Green : She won a thousand dollars!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are discussing a spelling bee competition that Rachel won. Phoebe and Joey enter into the conversation, making jokes about Emma's participation in a beauty pageant. Meanwhile, Ross is upset that Emma was entered into the pageant without his knowledge or consent."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So this is an annual thing? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! That's Alicia Mae Emory's outfit! Phoebe Buffay : You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier! Ross Geller : Yeah. What are we gonna do? Rachel Green : Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, what are we gonna say? Ross Geller : Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged! Joey Tribbiani : No. Here.", "summary": "Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are at a party where people are not getting happier. They come up with a plan to say they were mugged to avoid getting in trouble."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : HEY! Monica Geller : Do you hear something? Chandler Bing : They're out there! Monica Geller : Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking! Chandler Bing : Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says \"Rangers\" on it. They went to the game! Monica Geller : Oooh! They are in for a world of pain! Chandler Bing : Ross' shirt is torn. Monica Geller : Oh! They're late and they're sloppy! Rachel Green : Alright, Emma is napping... what happened to your shirt? Ross Geller : I got mugged. And they stole my pocket.", "summary": "Ross gets mugged and loses his pocket, while Chandler sees distorted images of Joey with a large hand bearing the word \"Rangers.\" Monica expresses her disbelief at their lateness and sloppiness, and Rachel mentions that Emma is napping."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her. Ross Geller : That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around. Rachel Green : You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. Ross Geller : We know you're out there. Joey Tribbiani : Who do you think its from? Rachel Green : Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad. Ross Geller : Well, let's just go in there and face them. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy. Joey Tribbiani : I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning. Rachel Green : Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. Ready? .", "summary": "The group tries to come up with excuses to explain why they are late to Monica's apartment, before deciding to play rock-paper-scissors to determine who goes in first."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ah-haah! I win!! Ross Geller : What is that? Joey Tribbiani : That's fire. Beats everything. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? . Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played. Rachel Green : Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time. #ALL# : Alright, okay. Phoebe Buffay : It's locked. Ross Geller : Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: \"Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy\". Rachel Green : Alright, come on... Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.", "summary": "Ross and Joey argue over a fire-based topic, while Phoebe and Rachel try to join them but are locked out."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No! Everything's cold. The turkey's dried out and the... the stuffing is all soggy. Chandler Bing : Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that... what happens to cranberry sauce? Monica Geller : Nothing. It's fine. Chandler Bing : Oh thank God! Ross Geller : Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down. Chandler Bing : That's a lie, you went to the game, I can see Joey's hand. Ross Geller : FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! Rachel Green : You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. Joey Tribbiani : I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. Monica Geller : That's all the turkey you're gonna get.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang gathers for Thanksgiving dinner but everything goes wrong, from dried-out turkey to soggy stuffing and a broken subway. They argue over why they're late, with Ross insisting on taking off his hand, and Rachel trying to make the best of it by joining in on the festivities despite their tardiness. Joey shares a dream he had about a fax machine that did something unexpected, while Monica keeps everyone from getting any more turkey."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : How are we gonna decide who gets this? Joey Tribbiani : WATER BALLOON! Phoebe Buffay : What are we gonna do? I'm starving. Rachel Green : Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : Hey, you touch that and you will be sorry. Chandler Bing : Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. Rachel Green : Huh... OH MY GOD IT'S BRUSSELS SPROUTS. Ross Geller : That's worse than no food. Chandler Bing : HA-HA! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The friends are deciding how to divide a mysterious dish in the oven, with Phoebe and Rachel expressing hunger, Joey suggesting water balloons, and Monica warning against touching whatever it is. Chandler makes a joke about the dish being worse than no food, and Ross agrees, revealing that it's actually Brussels sprouts."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Stinky?! Chandler Bing : Please let me stay on this side of the door. Rachel Green : Oh, I know... I still have my old key! We can just unlock the door. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us. Rachel Green : You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. Joey Tribbiani : Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us. Ross Geller : I don't know... Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling ya... I can do it. Ross Geller : Yeah, he can do it! Rachel Green : Oh!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are on opposite sides of a door, while Rachel has an old key to unlock it. Phoebe is hesitant to open the door as they don't want to be with each other. However, Joey insists on making a face-to-face apology to get them to forgive them. Meanwhile, Ross is unsure if he can do it."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing... Chandler Bing : The cranberries...? Monica Geller : Oh! Enough! A monkey could have made 'em! Joey Tribbiani : Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible. Chandler Bing : He's doing that weird eye contact thing. Don't look at him, don't look at him! Joey Tribbiani : Come on you guys, we want you to know we're very very sorry. Right guys? Ross Geller : I feel terrible. Phoebe Buffay : So, so sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Now let's not ruin this day. You worked so hard. Let's move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh? Chandler Bing : The floating heads do make a good point.", "summary": "The gang prepares for Thanksgiving dinner, but Joey and Chandler get into an argument over the food. Joey feels terrible and tries to make amends, while Chandler continues to act strangely."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad. Rachel Green : So bad. Ross Geller : So bad. Phoebe Buffay : So bad. Monica Geller : Okay, okay. You two go get the dessert. And I'll let you in. Rachel Green : Dessert? Monica Geller : Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right? Phoebe Buffay : Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize . Here! . Monica Geller : Grand Supreme Little Darling? Rachel Green : Congratulatioooons!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Friends gather to watch a movie, with Monica offering to let Rachel and Ross in after they forget their dessert. Confusion ensues when Phoebe mistakes \"pies\" for \"priiiize,\" leading to hilarious misunderstandings and congratulations."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do. Ross Geller : Really girls, not cool. Chandler Bing : Well, you manheads aren't any better. You lied about going to the game. You knew it would make you late, and you still went anyway. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness! Ross Geller : It's a day to be thankful. Joey Tribbiani : Don't make me come up there! Monica Geller : It's too late for apologies. Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner. Chandler Bing : That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling. Rachel Green : Ewww, is that what that is?", "summary": "Ross and Monica have a disagreement over him forgetting to bring pies for dinner, leading to tension among the group. Chandler lies about going to a game to avoid being late, while Joey defends himself by saying they've already apologized. Tensions rise as the group tries to make amends on Thanksgiving."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Phoebe Buffay : Come on you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving. Rachel Green : Yeah! I'll cook! Ross Geller : Yeah! Let's go out. Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving. Monica Geller : The three of us? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein! Joey Tribbiani : Ha! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh! I'm stuck!", "summary": "The group decides to host their own Thanksgiving instead of going to Ross's parents'. Rachel offers to cook, but Ross and Chandler want to go out. Joey gets stuck with the idea of hosting a three-person Thanksgiving with Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey, that is not gonna work. Joey Tribbiani : No seriously... I'm really wedged in here. Phoebe Buffay : I'll pull you through. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head. Chandler Bing : A little late for that. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, hurry up, you gotta do something. Monica Geller : Alright, well, this does not change anything. Okay, we need to get something to grease the sides of his face. Chandler Bing : Uhm, we've got turkey grease. Monica Geller : Bring it.", "summary": "Joey gets his head wedged in a door and the gang tries to pull him out, but he's afraid of damaging his head. They use turkey grease to help him get out."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person... Monica Geller : Here you go! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that smells good! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay, try it. Joey Tribbiani : It isn't working. Monica Geller : Alright, we're gonna have to unscrew the chain. Joey Tribbiani : Well hurry, I can't feel my ears! Chandler Bing : Can you ever feel your ears? Joey Tribbiani : Interesting...", "summary": "Joey mistakes a vein for a separate person, leading to confusion and discomfort. Monica helps him remove a staple from his nose, but they struggle when the chain gets stuck. Chandler jokes about feeling one's ears."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Chandler, where are your tools? Chandler Bing : Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools! Monica Geller : I do, but Rachel borrowed them. Rachel Green : I lent them to Ross. Ross Geller : I gave them to Joey. Joey Tribbiani : I left them at the park. Monica Geller : Oh! Ross Geller : I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him. Phoebe Buffay : I've already stuffed a bunch of Brussel sprouts down his pants. Ross Geller : Nice!", "summary": "Monica asks Chandler where his tools are, and he reveals he left them on his bulldozer. Monica doesn't have any tools, Rachel borrowed them but gave them to Ross, who in turn gave them to Joey. Joey left them at the park."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken. Joey Tribbiani : It's really starting to hurt. Chandler Bing : Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH! Phoebe Buffay : Just a sec., we're kind in the middle of something here. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Stop putting things down my pants! Chandler Bing : Come on guys, PUSH! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Come on! Chandler Bing : PUSH! PUSH! PUSH! Chandler Bing : My cranberries! Joey Tribbiani : Man, I've got food all over me.", "summary": "Monica wants Joey and his friends to leave after Thanksgiving, but they are stuck in a tight space. Chandler tries to pull on the door while Joey and Phoebe push from the other side, but it's difficult to make progress. Joey accidentally puts something down Chandler's pants, and things get messy."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Argh! I can't believe what you did. Monica's gonna kill you! Chandler Bing : Look! Look! Look what the... Look what... Look what the floating heads did! Monica Geller : I don't care. Chandler Bing : What's going on? Monica Geller : That was the adoption agency... Chandler Bing : And? Monica Geller : WE'RE GETTING A BABY! Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Monica Geller : There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us! Rachel Green : I'm so happy for you!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler find out they are getting a baby through adoption, much to their surprise."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass! Rachel Green : To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio. Ross Geller : I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Have you considered pageanting? Monica Geller : I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I know how you feel... Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia Mae Emory... The waiting, the wandering... Then one day... I get that call from Toys \"R\" Us... She was in stock! Chandler Bing : That is the exact same thing. Chandler Bing : Hi!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are excited for Thanksgiving, while Ross is happy about Monica and Chandler's upcoming baby. Phoebe suggests pageant training for the newborn, but Monica is too busy preparing for the arrival. Joey recounts his own experience of waiting for a child with Alicia Mae Emory, and Chandler joins in with a similar story."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : We're just here to say goodbye, we're off to Ohio. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, right! Your adoption interview! Monica Geller : Yep, we're gonna meet the lady who could be carrying our baby. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird! Chandler Bing : And so incorrect! Monica Geller : She's only a couple of months pregnant. She liked our application but who knows if she's gonna like us. Ross Geller : Come on, she's gonna love you guys! Chandler Bing : Uhm, thank you, but we're really trying not to get our hopes up.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are leaving for Ohio for their adoption interview, where they will meet the woman who could be carrying their baby. Joey finds it hard to believe that they will soon have a baby, while Chandler tries to temper their expectations."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : And a lot could still get in our way. Chandler Bing : Yeah. I mean, this girl could decide against adoption or she could like another couple better.. Phoebe Buffay : What are you gonna name the baby? Chandler Bing : I can develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word. Joey Tribbiani : But just think, ok? What if everything goes right? What if this woman does pick you guys? Monica Geller : Oh my God. She's gonna pick us! Chandler Bing : So we're standing firm on the 'not getting our hopes up'? Monica Geller : You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby! Chandler Bing : Yes, but... Monica Geller : Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are considering adoption and have a meeting with a potential birth mother. They express their concerns about things going wrong and not getting their hopes up, but Monica is excited and optimistic about the possibility of having a baby."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh, screw it, I'm gonna be a daddy!! Rachel Green : Hey, who's Phoebe with? Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna say someone I'm gonna have sex with. Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : So... who's your friend? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's Sarah. No, no. Don't you get any ideas, ok? No, I'm not setting you up with any more of my friends! Joey Tribbiani : OW, why, why, why? Phoebe Buffay : Because you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with. Phoebe Buffay : Mandy.", "summary": "Chandler becomes a father, Rachel's friend is with someone else, Joey wants to hook up with Phoebe's friend Sarah but she refuses to set him up, and Joey admits to forgetting about a previous friend he slept with named Mandy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Mandy, uh? Uh... really hot blonde, big boobs? Phoebe Buffay : No. Joey Tribbiani : I know why I don't remember her, huh? Rachel Green : Do you think I'm someone else? Joey Tribbiani : Ok, I may not have treated your friends well in the past, but I have grown up a lot, really. Honest, Rach? Rachel Green : Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else! Joey Tribbiani : Growth! Phoebe Buffay : Fine, I'll give you her number. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. Mandy. Phoebe Buffay : SARAH!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nJoey and Rachel were in a relationship in the past, but Joey has grown up and matured since then. Rachel admits that when they were together, Joey was wonderful and thoughtful. Phoebe gives Joey her number, but he mistakenly calls out \"Mandy\" instead of \"Sarah\"."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Saraaah. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey you guys, I need some fashion advice. Rachel Green : Oh! Ross Geller : How does this look? Rachel Green : Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... a little bit more... a little bit more... There you go! Now throw it away! Ross Geller : C'mon! This looks good! Rachel Green : Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat. Ross Geller : Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!", "summary": "Ross tries to get fashion advice from Rachel, who convinces him to get rid of his terrible hat."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right? Ross Geller : Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress. Joey Tribbiani : I can see why, nice shirt! Ross Geller : You're wearing the same shirt. Joey Tribbiani : Stupid Gap on every corner! Agency Guy : Please, make yourself comfortable and I will back in a moment with Erica. Monica Geller : Ok, thank you. Uh, well this is it. Are you OK? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: \"Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?\" Monica Geller : Uh, we're gonna be great. Chandler Bing : You're gonna be great.", "summary": "Ross and Joey are going shopping with Phoebe tomorrow, despite Ross being teased about his fashion sense. Monica is pregnant and Chandler is feeling anxious about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well... obviously! Agency Guy : Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica. Monica Geller : Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you. Erica : Hi... Chandler Bing : Thank you so much for agreeing to see us. Erica : Hi. Agency Guy : I'll let you get acquainted. Chandler Bing : Ok. Erica : So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D. Chandler Bing : That's what our friends call us.", "summary": "Monica Geller meets Erica, an agency representative who wants to use her and Chandler for a job opportunity."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : Gosh, you know, you're just such an amazing couple. It's... kind of intimidating. Monica Geller : I don't know about that. Erica : You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend? Chandler Bing : I don't think that's exactly... Monica Geller : Let her finish, doctor. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my friend Sarah had a great time last night. Joey Tribbiani : Well... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! So you're gonna call this one back?", "summary": "Erica compliments Monica and Chandler on their relationship, which Monica deflects. Phoebe talks about her friend Sarah having a good time, and Joey tries to join in."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Phoebe Buffay : What are you talking about? Sarah's great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere... Phoebe Buffay : That's it? That's why you won't go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, look! It's not about a few fries... it's about what the fries represent. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : ALL FOOD! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I can't believe I set you up with such a MONSTER! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don't order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That's a good way to lose some fingers! Phoebe Buffay : Oh.", "summary": "Joey takes Sarah out for dinner but is upset when she orders a lot of food, including fries, which he sees as disrespectful. Phoebe defends Sarah and they have a disagreement about eating habits."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Thank God you're here. Listen to this! Rachel Green : what? Phoebe Buffay : Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries... Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, no! Phoebe Buffay : What? You know about the plate thing? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. Joey doesn't share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ... Phoebe Buffay : You wouldn't let her have a grape? Rachel Green : Oh no! Not me! Emma! Joey Tribbiani : JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!", "summary": "Joey doesn't share food and gets upset when someone takes fries from his plate. Rachel and Phoebe discuss this incident and reveal that Joey also had a grape on his plate that he didn't want to share."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, I still think that it's a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table! Joey Tribbiani : I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I'll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. What were we talking about? Phoebe Buffay : This place is awesome! Ross Geller : You know, we should just go, I'm not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous! Rachel Green : Ah, this place is great! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Ross Geller : Rach, come on, I'm not gonna wear any of this! Nothing silver. . Ok? Nothing with hair! And nothing with padlocks on it! . Rachel Green : Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! . I mean, this is just beautiful! Ross Geller : Wow, this is really soft . Three hundred and fifty dollars? Rachel Green : Yeah, down from seven hundred, you are saving like two hundred bucks!", "summary": "Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey go to a clothing store. Ross finds nothing he likes, while Rachel and Phoebe find some great deals. Joey wants to order extra food for the table."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today. Phoebe : Hey, check this out! It's totally you! Ross Geller : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Ross Geller : Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah! Boys will be boys? Phoebe Buffay : What? They will be! Ross Geller : All right, that's it, I'm getting out of here. Rachel Green : No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there's other stuff. Here's a nice shirt, look at these nice pants... Ross Geller : Uh, actually these might look pretty good on me. Rachel Green : Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I'm... I'm gonna pick up some really good stuff for you. Ross Geller : Really?", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe are at the mall, where Phoebe shows Ross a dress that looks like him. They both think it's funny and Ross considers buying it. Rachel joins them and tries to convince Ross to stay and buy some new clothes. Ross agrees but then changes his mind and leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yes! And I know what looks sexy on guys. Please, just wear what I suggest, and she's gonna go nuts for you. Ross Geller : So, you're saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers? Rachel Green : Why do men keep talking to me like this? Chandler Bing : So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife's a reverend, that's important to you? Erica : Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought \"who better then a minister to raise a child!\" Monica Geller : Amen. Chandler Bing : Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor! Monica Geller : Uh, good hands. Healing hands. Erica : Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption? Monica Geller : It says \"Do it!\". And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.", "summary": "Ross wants to impress Rachel with his clothing choices, but she has a different view. Chandler and Monica discuss their religious beliefs and how they relate to adoption. Erica asks for advice on the matter."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : Wow. Chandler Bing : Yeah, wow. Erica : I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock? Monica Geller : Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock. Erica : Being a doctor must take up a lot of time. Chandler Bing : No-ot for me it doesn't. Agency Guy : So, how's everything going in here? Erica : We're great, I think I may have asked all my questions. Agency Guy : Do you have any question for Erica? Chandler Bing : Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Erica asks Monica and Chandler about their jobs as doctors and how they would balance taking care of a baby with their work. Monica mentions her flock (her pets) are self-sufficient, while Chandler reveals he doesn't have much time for his agency job due to his other responsibilities. Agency Guy joins the conversation and Erica asks if she has asked all her questions, then Chandler inquires about a file Monica read and contacted the agency about."}
-{"dialogues": "Agency Guy : Yes, our system assures total anonimity. We're very proud of it. Chandler Bing : You should be. You're really on top of stuff.. Agency Guy : Well, then if there's nothing else, then the two of us should talk. Erica : Actually, I don't think we have to. Monica Geller : We don't? Erica : Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. . I've made my decision. I choose them. Monica Geller : Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! . Did you hear that? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I did. Monica Geller : Hey, thank you. Thank you so much. . You are SO going to Heaven! Rachel Green : We got some really great stuff!", "summary": "Agency Guy and Chandler Bing discuss the former's system that guarantees complete anonymity, with Chandler expressing admiration for their work. Erica enters the conversation, revealing her interest in them but deciding to meet face-to-face before making a decision. Monica Geller joins the conversation and is excited about Erica's choice, thanking them and expressing her approval. Rachel Green enters with some positive comments."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got. Rachel Green : Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination? Rachel Green : Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing. Phoebe Buffay : oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later. Ross Geller : So? What do you think? Joey Tribbiani : I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!! Ross Geller : Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that. Ross Geller : Oh, I see, somebody is afraid of a little competition with the ladies?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are trying on bras at Monica's apartment, while Phoebe joins in and tries some on for Rachel. Meanwhile, Joey arrives and is concerned about Ross wearing a dress shirt, leading to a conversation about trusting Rachel's fashion choices."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Looks like someone IS the ladies!! Ross Geller : You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me I have a date. See? ALL eyes on ME! Chandler Bing : We are NOT signing those papers. Monica Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else. Monica Geller : God works in mysterious ways. Chandler Bing : You have gotta stop! Monica Geller : But she liked us. Chandler Bing : She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica. Monica Geller : Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over a woman, while Monica and Joey discuss their own relationships. Meanwhile, Monica reveals that she sees herself as a \"Reverend\" through her cooking, serving God by feeding the hungry and poor."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Your Veal Chop is $34,95! Monica Geller : C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now. Chandler Bing : But we are not the one she chose! How can you feel okay about this? Monica Geller : Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us. Chandler Bing : I know.. Monica Geller : I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us? Chandler Bing : oh, honey.. Monica Geller : Please.. please, we are so close. Chandler Bing : Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica Geller : okay, right.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a couple, Chandler and Monica, who are eagerly awaiting the adoption of their baby. However, they learn that the birth mother has chosen someone else, leading to a mix of emotions and concerns about the future of their own adoption. Despite their disappointment, they try to remain hopeful and focus on the opportunity they have been given to provide a loving home for a child."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, maybe she'll like us for us. Monica Geller : Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I have been a Reverend? Chandler Bing : You're Jewish. Monica Geller : Technicality! Waiter : A garden salad for the lady. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that looks great! Good ordering! Waiter : Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy! Sarah : Mmmh, those fries look delicious. Joey Tribbiani : oh, I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself! What's mine is yours. Sarah : Oh wow, are those stuffed clams?", "summary": "Sarah expresses interest in a man who wants to be honest with her and potentially win her over. Monica makes a comment about being a reverend, and Chandler jokes that she's Jewish. The waiter brings their food, and Joey orders extra fries for Sarah. Sarah compliments the fries and Joey offers her some of his."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Uuuh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams. Joey Tribbiani : How about those fries though, huh? Sarah : They are delicious. Joey Tribbiani : You are beautiful, you know that? Sarah : Oh, that is so sweet.. Joey Tribbiani : Oh okay.. Joey Tribbiani : NOW look what you did!! Sarah : What? what is the matter with you? Joey Tribbiani : I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay? Sarah : But you just said \"What's mine is yours\"?", "summary": "Joey has his favorite stuffed clams and offers some to Sarah, who compliments him on them. Joey then becomes possessive about his food and gets upset when Sarah takes some without asking."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT! Sarah : Fine, I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean There are things you do..and you now, things.. that you don't do . Girl : Wow, this place looks great. Ross Geller : Oh! You are gonna love it! and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this. Girl : Me too! Ross Geller : Here So this was fun! Joey Tribbiani : I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you. Sarah : Sure Just not as much as clams. Joey Tribbiani : Well, stuffed clams.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani and Sarah have a conversation about food rules and Joey apologizes for overreacting. Ross Geller joins them and they discuss a new restaurant they are trying out. Sarah expresses her limited interest in Joey's favorite dish, stuffed clams."}
-{"dialogues": "Waiter : Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, excuse me sir, there seems to be some sort of red crap on my cheesecake. Waiter : Yes, that's Raspberry coule. Joey Tribbiani : So stupid, ordering cheesecake, trying to be healthy. Sarah : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, all right, I'll just have what she's having instead. Waiter : Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece. Sarah : Mmmm! Mmm! Sarah : Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sure. No problem.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani orders a cheesecake but finds red \"crap\" on it, which the waiter explains is raspberry coulis. Joey is disappointed and decides to order something else. Sarah also wants to order takeout for work, but their restaurant has run out of her desired dish."}
-{"dialogues": "Sarah : What are you doing? I thought you don't share food. Joey Tribbiani : Sure I do. Coule? Sarah : No. If I can't have your clams, you can't have my dessert. This is a two way street. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Sarah : Really! Now this all better be here when I come back. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, of course. I can control myself. Joey Tribbiani : Stop staring at me! Joey Tribbiani : Why, just a tiny little... Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh! TIME LAPSE. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not even sorry.", "summary": "Sarah and Joey share food, but with conditions. Joey can have Sarah's dessert if he doesn't eat her clams. Sarah checks back later to find out if Joey kept his end of the bargain, but he admits to eating some of the clams."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : Hi! Adoption Agency Guy : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Agency Guy : So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it. Monica Geller : I-Is... Is that a picture? Erica : Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. Monica Geller : Look, doctor! Look, before we sign anything we really have to talk... We're not who you think we are. Agency Guy : I don't understand. Chandler Bing : The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor. Erica : What?", "summary": "Adoption Agency Guy provides preliminary forms for an open adoption to Erica, Chandler, and Monica. However, they reveal that they are not who they claim to be, causing confusion and surprise."}
-{"dialogues": "Agency Guy : That's impossible. Chandler Bing : I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like. Agency Guy : I'll go check your file. Excuse me. Erica : So who are you? Chandler Bing : Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York. Monica Geller : Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. Erica : So you lied to me before? Monica Geller : Well, we... \"bore false witness\"... See I could be a reverend. Erica : I can't believe this. Monica Geller : But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider...", "summary": "Monica and Chandler, from New York, try to convince an agency representative (Agency Guy) that they are capable of caring for a baby. However, when their file is checked, it reveals a lie about their names and background. Monica and Chandler were hoping the representative would still consider them as adoptive parents despite their deception."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : Giving you my baby? You think I'd give you my child after this? Monica Geller : Well, you don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file... Erica : I don't want to look at your file! This is over. Chandler Bing : Erica wait! Erica : I've nothing to say to you. Chandler Bing : You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again. Erica : Why don't you ask the reverend to pray on it? Chandler Bing : Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising. Erica : Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong. Chandler Bing : But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica have been trying to have a baby for years, but they are facing resistance from Erica who is hesitant to give up her child. Chandler pleads with Erica to consider them as potential adoptive parents, but she remains unsure."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You still want that baby? Monica Geller : God bless you Chandler Bing! Ross Geller : Turns out this sweater is made for a woman. Joey Tribbiani : So, why are you still wearing it? Ross Geller : Because it's soft... Hey, so how was your date? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh... Not so good. Ross Geller : Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and you know what? We could do a lot worse. Joey Tribbiani : JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD! end. Monica Geller : Mmh... this cake is amazing!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler want to buy a baby, but Ross finds out it's for a woman. Joey has a bad date and eats his ice cream, while Ross shares food with him."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : My God, get a room! Monica Geller : I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time! Phoebe Buffay : If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex? Monica Geller : Sex! Chandler Bing : Seriously, answer faster! Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said \"sex\" I wasn't thinking about \"sex with you\"! Chandler Bing : It's like a giant hug. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food? Ross Geller : Food. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, how about... uhm... sex or dinosaurs?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe discuss what they would give up between sex and food, while Chandler tries to speed up the answer. Monica chooses sex, while Ross says he would choose food. Meanwhile, Phoebe ponders whether she could give up dinosaurs."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my God. It's like Sophie's Choice. Rachel Green : Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food? Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard. Rachel Green : No, you gotta pick one! Joey Tribbiani : Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread! Rachel Green : You gotta see these latest pictures of Emma. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how cute! Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she looks just like a little doll! Rachel Green : Oh, no, no. That is a doll.", "summary": "Sophie's Choice is referenced in conversation, and the group discusses what they would give up between sex and food. Joey struggles to make a decision and ultimately chooses food."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! Look, there's Chandler. Rachel Green : Oh. Who is the blonde, she's pretty. Phoebe Buffay : OH! He's having an affair. Rachel Green : He's not having an affair! Phoebe Buffay : You know, I'm always right about these things. Rachel Green : No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kill you! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her! Rachel Green : Oh, that doesn't mean anything. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah? Well, let's see. Ok, duck down. Chandler Bing : Hello.", "summary": "Chandler and a blonde woman get into a car together, causing Phoebe to suspect an affair. Rachel defends Chandler, but Phoebe remains skeptical."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so... ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel. Chandler Bing : Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either \"Liar, Liar\" or \"Betrayal\", or... \"An Affair To Remember\". Chandler Bing : Those are all really old! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, then maybe it'll be, uhm... Rachel Green : \"Dude, Where's My Car?\" Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : They're in a caaar... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye. Rachel Green : Geez!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Phoebe invites Chandler and Rachel to the movies, but they both have to work. They discuss old movies and Rachel suggests \"Dude, Where's My Car?\" as an alternative."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, ok. Let me just grab my night vision goggles and my stun gun. Phoebe Buffay : I got them! Chandler Bing : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! You smell like perfume and cigarettes. Chandler Bing : I was in the car with Nancy all day. Monica Geller : Nancy doesn't smoke! Chandler Bing : Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that! Monica Geller : So? What do you think of the house? Chandler Bing : It's perfect. It's everything we've been looking for.", "summary": "Follows two friends as they try to track down a taxi to follow a suspicious couple after discovering they are spying on them in their house."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Isn't it? Then what about the amazing wainscotting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic? Chandler Bing : And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps? What were the things you said? Monica Geller : Don't you love the huge yard? Chandler Bing : And the fireplace in the bedroom. Monica Geller : And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents! Chandler Bing : This is bringing out a lovely color in you! Monica Geller : So? Do you think we should get it? Chandler Bing : I don't know. What do you think? Monica Geller : I think we should. Chandler Bing : I do too.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a house they are considering buying. Monica and Chandler discuss the various features of the house, including the wainscotting, crown molding, dormer windows, wiggle wharms, zip zorps, huge yard, fireplace in the bedroom, and underpricing due to the owner losing his job and having to move in with his parents. Monica and Chandler ultimately decide to buy the house."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : This is huge! Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : How bad you wanna smoke, right now. Chandler Bing : I don't know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy's car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day. Monica Geller : Gotcha. When do we tell them about this? Chandler Bing : We don't. Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing. Monica Geller : Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard. Chandler Bing : I know. Gooooood luck with it. Ross Geller : I just can't see Chandler cheating! Rachel Green : I'm telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are hiding a secret about their relationship. Phoebe calls while Chandler is getting into Nancy's car, and he lies to her about being at work all day. Monica agrees to keep the secret, but finds it difficult to do so. Meanwhile, Ross is upset about the possibility of Chandler cheating on Monica, and Rachel reveals that she followed them to a house in Westchester where they stayed for 45 minutes and looked happy."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can't believe he would do this to Monica! Ross Geller : I know, and with the baby coming? Phoebe Buffay : So, should we tell her? Ross Geller : I don't know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Who'd you seen him with? Ross Geller : No one, I'm just saying if... Phoebe Buffay : TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW! Ross Geller : I know nothing! Mike's a great guy, it was hypothetical! Phoebe Buffay : All right. . He is a good guy. You're right, he wouldn't cheat. Ross Geller : Believe me, if I did see with someone, there's no way I...", "summary": "Monica's boyfriend, Mike, has been seen with another woman for 45 minutes. The gang is unsure what to do about it, as they don't want to accuse him of cheating without concrete evidence."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH? Rachel Green : Oh, look at her, so happy! Monica Geller : If only there were a smaller one to clean this one! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here? Monica Geller : No, he's picking up dinner, why, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Well, look, whatever happens, we're here for you and we love you. Monica Geller : All right... Ross Geller : We think Chandler might be having an affair. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.", "summary": "Chandler may be having an affair with a blonde woman."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : They went in together. So sorry. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oh my God that's awful! What did you think of the house? Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Monica, you understand what we are saying, right? Monica Geller : Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... Did you think the neighborhood was homey? Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : You son of a bitch! Chandler Bing : Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here? Monica Geller : Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair. Rachel Green : Who's Nancy?", "summary": "They purchased a house together but one of them (Phoebe) thought it was awful. Monica was devastated and Joey tried to defend Phoebe. Chandler noticed that greetings had become less enthusiastic among the group. Meanwhile, Rachel discovered that Phoebe and her sister had seen Chandler with someone named Nancy and assumed he was having an affair."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What's going on? Monica Geller : Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big. Chandler Bing : Yeah I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor. Joey Tribbiani : I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!! Phoebe Buffay : Why do you have a realtor? Monica Geller : Uhm, she has been showing us houses outside of the city. Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Are you serious? Monica Geller : When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city. Phoebe Buffay : So you're gonna move?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are expecting a baby and decide to move out of the city with Nancy their realtor. Joey thinks Chandler can't be in a relationship for 45 minutes and Phoebe wonders why they need a realtor. Rachel is surprised by the news and Monica explains their decision to move."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this?! Rachel Green : What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it! Monica Geller : And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset... Chandler Bing : ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by. Ross Geller : So you wanna buy a house in the 50's? Phoebe Buffay : Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door? Ross Geller : You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! I'm gonna thump you! Ross Geller : It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay , but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss buying a house in the suburbs, while Rachel and Monica argue for raising children in the city. Phoebe weighs in with concerns about giving up urban amenities like Chinese food at 5am or a fake Rolex that breaks in the rain. Ross tries to reason with them, but Joey gets frustrated and threatens to hit him. Ultimately, they all agree to consider their options and make a decision."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Actually, we already found a house we love. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : And about an hour ago, we made an offer. Chandler Bing : Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh? TIME LAPSE. Ross Geller : You put an offer on a house? Monica Geller : It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... Phoebe Buffay : Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers? Chandler Bing : I know this is really hard and we're really sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? Because I can stop doing that, I really, really think I can! Chandler Bing : You know that's not the reason Joe.", "summary": "Monica and Ross find a house they love and make an offer, while Chandler makes a joke about having an affair. Phoebe interrupts and Joey eats Monica's food without permission."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. It is beautiful, isn't it? Rachel Green : Yeah it is. Joey Tribbiani : What the hell are you doin'? Rachel Green : Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but so is this. Ross Geller : Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place? Rachel Green : C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy! Ross Geller : You can see where he'd have trouble. Rachel Green : Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica. Monica Geller : Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...", "summary": "Ross and Rachel argue over her desire to leave their apartment to move into a new place she discovered while out with Monica; Joey questions Rachel's decision; Phoebe and Monica offer support for Rachel's desire to change her living situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That money is mine, Green! Rachel Green : You're fly is open, Geller! Phoebe Buffay : You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence? Chandler Bing : Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'! Phoebe Buffay : Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles. Rachel Green : Ow, that had to hurt! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, it's your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help. The Guys : We will. Monica Geller : Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles. Rachel Green : No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.", "summary": "Ross and Green argue over money, while Phoebe notices a connection between \"Joker\" and \"poker.\" Chandler makes a joke about it, and they all discuss Thanksgiving plans. Monica and Rachel argue over marshmallow placement."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Every year. Joey Tribbiani : It's stuck!!! Phoebe Buffay : Easy. Step. How did it get on? Joey Tribbiani : I put it on to scare Chandler! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out! Joey Tribbiani : It smells really bad in here. Phoebe Buffay : Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass! Monica Geller : Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! Who is that? Joey Tribbiani : It's Joey. Monica Geller : I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?", "summary": "Monica and Joey are stuck with a turkey, while Phoebe finds a solution by using Chandler's head inside the bird. Monica discovers the situation and freaks out, while Joey tries to use the turkey to scare Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oooohh that's interesting. Chandler Bing : If you win, we give up the birds. Joey Tribbiani : Dah!! Chandler Bing : But if we win, we get your apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oooooh! Monica Geller : Deal! TIME LAPSE. Ross Geller : What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie? Joey Tribbiani : Big fat goalie. Ross Geller : Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie... Chandler Bing : Dangerous Liaisons.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel make a bet with Chandler and Joey about a movie. If Monica and Rachel win, they get Joey's apartment. If Chandler and Joey win, they get Monica's favorite movie. The conversation ends with Ross revealing Monica's nickname in high school as a field hockey goalie."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Correct. Her actual favorite movie is... Joey Tribbiani : Weekend at Bernie's. Ross Geller : Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there? Joey Tribbiani : Everyday use. Chandler Bing : Fancy. Joey Tribbiani : Guest. Chandler Bing : Fancy guest. Ross Geller : Two seconds... Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, 11! Ross Geller : 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct.", "summary": "Monica categorizes her towels into 11 categories."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast? Rachel Green : 14? Ross Geller : No, 19. Chandler Bing : Thanks man. Ross Geller : Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was? Monica Geller : Maurice. Ross Geller : Correct, his profession was? Rachel Green : Space cowboy! Ross Geller : Correct! What is Chandler Bing's job? Rachel Green : Ow...Oh Gosh!", "summary": "Chandler was 19 when he first touched a girl's breast. Joey had an imaginary childhood friend named Maurice. Chandler's profession is unknown. Ross and Monica revealed that Joey's profession is space cowboy."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game. Monica Geller : It's umm, it has something to do with transponding. Rachel Green : Oh-oh-oh, he's a transponce-transpondster! Monica Geller : That's not even a word! Monica Geller : NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! TIME LAPSE. Rachel Green : Y'know what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes! Rachel Green : That is not true. She did! She forced me! Monica Geller : Hey, we would still be living here if hadn't gotten the question wrong! Rachel Green : Well it stupid, unfair question!", "summary": "Ross and Monica are playing a game with Rachel where they have to answer trivia questions. Ross says he needs 10 seconds to think about a question, but Monica thinks he's just stalling. Rachel makes a joke about Ross being a \"transponce-transpondster,\" which confuses everyone. Monica gets frustrated and accuses Rachel of forcing her to raise the stakes. The conversation ends with Monica saying they would still be living together if she had gotten the question right, and Rachel calling the question stupid and unfair."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Don't blame the questions! Chandler Bing : Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us! Ross Geller : Chandler!!! Chandler!!! Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here! Chandler Bing : Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! Monica Geller : Hey Ross. What's up bro? Ross Geller : What the hell are doing?!! Rachel Green : Hey, what's-what's going on?! Chandler Bing : Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! He's right there! Ross Geller : I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!", "summary": "Ross discovers Chandler's affair with his sister Monica and confronts him in their apartment. Chandler defends himself and prepares to leave, while Rachel enters the room and adds to the chaos."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her. Monica Geller : I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too. Ross Geller : My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. Monica Geller : Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I'm just gonna label it, \"What were you thinking?\" Rachel Green : Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, you guys, I don't mean to make things worse, but umm, I don't want to live with Rachel anymore. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : You're just so mean to each other! And I don't want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you! Rachel Green : Well, Phoebe that's fine because I'm not moving. Monica Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y'know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y'know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she'll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I'd like.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler discover they have feelings for each other, while Ross struggles to cope with the news. Phoebe wants out of living with Rachel due to her mean behavior, but Monica insists she stay."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What else? Monica Geller : When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror. Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that. Phoebe Buffay : That's nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom. Monica Geller : When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket. Rachel Green : Well y'know, I don't want you to be cold. Monica Geller : And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! TIME LAPSE. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : She really left. Chandler Bing : I know.", "summary": "Monica moves in with Chandler and Phoebe leaves her notes on the mirror. Rachel reads them and covers Monica with a blanket when she falls asleep. Monica decides to move in with Chandler and Phoebe is supportive."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : No problem roomie. Monica Geller : Can I ask you a question? Chandler Bing : Sure! Monica Geller : What the hell is that dog doing here?! Chandler Bing : Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked. #ALL# : That's so sweet. Ross Geller : And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas. Rachel Green : And a crappy New Year. Chandler Bing : Here, here!", "summary": "Monica asks Chandler a question about a dog, and Chandler replies that he thinks it's great to be spending Thanksgiving with their dysfunctional group rather than with their respective families. He expresses gratitude for their sucky holidays, which have brought them together. Ross and Rachel agree, and they all toast to a lousy Christmas and crappy New Year."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : You can't move. You just... you just can't. Joey Tribbiani : Rachel's right. This is where you guys belong. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters. Ross Geller : You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. Rachel Green : Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... maybe close your blinds at night. Chandler Bing : Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer. Monica Geller : And? Chandler Bing : Okay, thanks... They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price. Monica Geller : We can't afford that. Chandler Bing : I know.", "summary": "Rachel and Joey disagree on whether or not to move out of their apartment, while Ross feels lonely without his friends nearby. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler receive an offer on their house but can't afford the asking price."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Well, there you go. Joey Tribbiani : I'm really sorry you guys. Ross Geller : Yeah. I'm sorry too. I'm even more sorry that that phone call didn't come before I told you about looking through the window. Rachel Green : Yeah, we're gonna let you be alone. Phoebe Buffay : You're gonna be okay? Monica Geller : Yeah, we'll be okay. Ross Geller : Love you guys. Joey Tribbiani : You know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before. Chandler Bing : That's okay, we understand. Joey Tribbiani : And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find out that Monica and Chandler secretly got married in Vegas, leading to a tense confrontation. Joey apologizes for not being more supportive earlier, and Phoebe tries to reassure Monica that they'll be okay."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know there'll be other houses, but it's just so... I love that one so much. Chandler Bing : Yeah... Well, it's a good thing we got it then. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : We got the house. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I just didn't want to tell you in front of them. Monica Geller : Oh my God! My God! We've got the house !? Chandler Bing : We're getting the house. We're getting the house. Monica Geller : And a baby... Chandler Bing : We're growing up.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler buy a house together."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : We sure are. Chandler Bing : So who's gonna tell them? Monica Geller : Not it! Chandler Bing : Not it! Damn it! Monica Geller : Rachel, this is yours. Rachel Green : Aah! Why? What are these for? Chandler Bing : You'll see. Monica Geller : All right, everybody open them! Rachel Green : Ooh! Oh wow this is so beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store.", "summary": "Chandler and Monica struggle to decide who will tell their parents about their relationship, while Rachel and Phoebe discover a surprise gift from an unknown sender."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : I know. Ross Geller : I love this. Joey Tribbiani : A meatball Sub? Thanks! Ross Geller : Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for? Chandler Bing : Well, I didn't know how to tell you before, but... We got the house. Monica Geller : Enjoy! Joey Tribbiani : What did they say? Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Monica Geller : Hey, let me tell them! Joey Tribbiani : Sure.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are excited about something, while Joey asks what it is. Chandler reveals that he and Monica bought a house together."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey is gonna be a celebrity guest on a game show! Phoebe Buffay : Great! Ross Geller : Really? Which one? Monica Geller : Ohh! Fish, seaweed, a sunken ship. Ross Geller : Things you find in the ocean, You're gonna be on \"Pyramid\"!! Monica Geller : Oh, that was our favourite game show ever! Ross Geller : Except for \"Match game\"... Monica Geller : Or \"Win, Lose or Draw\". Chandler Bing : What did I marry into? Joey Tribbiani : Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are excited about Joey being a celebrity guest on a game show. Ross is skeptical and mentions other games shows he used to watch with Monica and Chandler. Joey invites them to come watch him tape the show the next day."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, I can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, sorry boys, this ride's closing. Ross Geller : Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond. Joey Tribbiani : Seriously? Ross Geller : Yeah-uh! Monica Geller : Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie. Chandler Bing : You guys just keep getting cooler and cooler! Monica Geller : Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends. Rachel Green : Oh God, that's right. I blocked that out. Monica Geller : \"I'm a little bit country\"...", "summary": "Phoebe's bachelorette party is planned, but Ross and Chandler have a college alumni event they can't miss. Monica and Rachel reminisce about their childhood singing performances as Donny and Marie."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : \"...and I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll\"! Chandler Bing : I'm leaving you. Ross Geller : So weird to see all these people again... Oh my God, look, there's Geoffrey Cleric. Chandler Bing : Who? Ross Geller : He was roommates with John Rosoff. He went out with Andrea Tamburino. She dumped him for Michael Skloff. Chandler Bing : Did I go to this school? Ross Geller : Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her. Chandler Bing : Sure, nice. Ross Geller : Dude. You're married to my sister. Chandler Bing : You're right, by saying \"nice\" I'm virtually licking her.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler attend their high school reunion and run into old classmates, including Geoffrey Cleric, who was roommates with John Rosoff, went out with Andrea Tamburino, and was dumped for Michael Skloff. Meanwhile, Ross mentions that his sister is married to Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out? Chandler Bing : Are you asking permission to break the pact? Ross Geller : Yes please. Ross Geller : Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room! Chandler Bing : Awesome, the name really stands out. Ross Geller : Thanks to a little something called \"Helvetica Bold 24 point\"! Chandler Bing : Man, we're gonna rock that Asian student union! Missy Goldberg : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, Missy...", "summary": "Ross considers asking out a single woman, but seeks permission from Chandler. They discuss their band's flyers and the use of Helvetica font. Missy joins them, and they greet her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You know, our band is playing on Friday. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. You should come check us out. We're called \"Way! No Way!\". Missy Goldberg : No way! Chandler Bing : Way! Missy Goldberg : Right. I'll be there. Chandler Bing : Fresh! Ross Geller : Boss! Chandler Bing : Mint! Ross Geller : She's gone. Chandler Bing : I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out.", "summary": "Chandler's band \"Way! No Way!\" is playing on Friday and he invites Missy to come check them out. They banter back and forth before Chandler reveals his intention to ask her out."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Dude, I was gonna ask her out. Chandler Bing : I said it first, bro. Ross Geller : Well, I thought it first, Holmes. Chandler Bing : Look, if you did... Ross Geller : Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want. Chandler Bing : Totally. I had sex in High school... Ross Geller : Me too. I'm good at it. Chandler Bing : All right, I'd say we make a pact. Neither of us will go out with Missy Goldberg. Ross Geller : You got it. Chandler Bing : All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler make a pact not to pursue relationships with three specific girls, including Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates, and Molly Ringwald."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Those are the pacts! Chandler Bing : Oh, and Sheena Easton. But we probably couldn't get her anyway. Ross Geller : Oh, oh... maybe not you! Chandler Bing : Well, I officially give you permission to break the pact. Ross Geller : Thank you. All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college? Chandler Bing : Your hands are shaking. Ross Geller : I know, and I can't stop sweating. Voice : Five! Four! Three! Applause! Donny Osmond : Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with \"Days of Our Life's\" star Joey Tribbiani! Joey Tribbiani : I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! Only better looking and richer.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss breaking a pact, before Ross talks about his fear of approaching women in college. Donny Osmond introduces the contestants for Soap Opera week on Pyramid, including Gene Lester who will be playing with Joey Tribbiani. Joey tries to reassure Gene that he is just like him, only better looking and richer."}
-{"dialogues": "Donny Osmond : ...should be playing with the star of \"General Hospital\" Leslie Charleson. Welcome everybody. Good luck to all of you. Let's play Pyramid. All right? Now... we flipped a coin before the show, Gene, you won the toss, so you're gonna start. Which category would you like? Gene : I'll take \"You crossed the line\". Donny Osmond : You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go! Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my... Gene : Diary. Joey Tribbiani : Noo, more like a notebook... Damn it! Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the... Gene : Cafeteria. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. OOOH! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you so much for this. Rachel Green : Oh, d'you like it?", "summary": "Donny Osmond hosts a game show and Gene wins the coin toss to start. Gene chooses the category \"You crossed the line\" and Joey has to describe 20 things that have lines within 60 seconds. Joey struggles to come up with answers, leading to humorous moments. Phoebe joins the conversation and compliments Rachel on her outfit."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, it's all so elegant! When's the dirty stuff starting? Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : You know, the strippers, and the guys dancing, and you know, pee-pee's flying about. Rachel Green : Pheebs, I... there isn't gonna be any flying about! We actually thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok. I see what you're doing, that's fine. This is all there is, just tea, uh, ok. Hmmmm... raunchy! Rachel Green : Seriously Pheebs, it's not gonna be that kind of a party. Phoebe Buffay : Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea? Rachel Green : Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's! Donny Osmond : Now Gene I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game, all right? Describe for Joey things you find in your refrigerator. Joey Tribbiani : Ahaha, he might as well just give us the points.", "summary": "Phoebe and Rachel are at a bachelorette party where they expect there to be strippers and other adult activities. However, Rachel informs Phoebe that there won't be any of that, leading Phoebe to become disappointed. Donny Osmond joins the conversation and mentions that they need six things from the refrigerator for a game, which Joey is unaware of."}
-{"dialogues": "Donny Osmond : Give me twenty seconds on the clock. Ready? Go! Gene : You put this in your coffee. Joey Tribbiani : A spoon. Your hands. Your face! Gene : It's white! Joey Tribbiani : Paper, snow, a ghost! Gene : It's heavier then milk! Joey Tribbiani : A rock, a dog, the earth. Gene : Pass! Gene : You put this on a sandwich. Joey Tribbiani : Salami, anchovies, jam!", "summary": "Donny Osmond wants Gene to give him a summary of something in 20 seconds, and Gene starts rattling off random words related to food and objects. Joey Tribbiani joins in, adding his own nonsensical contributions to the mix."}
-{"dialogues": "Gene : It's white! Joey Tribbiani : Paper, snow, a ghost! Gene : It's made from eggs! Joey Tribbiani : Chickens? Gene : Pass! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Gene : You put this on a hamburger! Joey Tribbiani : Ketchup! Gene : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : Relish!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around food and different ingredients, with Gene mentioning eggs, chickens, ketchup, and relish. Joey adds to the list with \"paper,\" \"snow,\" \"a ghost,\" and \"Pass!\", indicating that he is unsure or uninterested in some of the items mentioned. The conversation ends with Gene confirming that one of the ingredients (ketchup) is included on a hamburger, to which Joey agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Gene : Stop! Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Donny Osmond : Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Donny Osmond : Uh, Gene, you're gonna have a chance to go to the winner circle in the second half. But right now Henrietta you are going to the winner circle to try your luck for ten thousand dollars, right after this, don't go away. Stage Manager : And we're out! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right? Gene : Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time! Gene : Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you.", "summary": "Gene wins $10,000 but Joey Tribbiani does not win. Joey is disappointed and Gene reveals that he needs the money for his kid's college tuition and surgery on his knee."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? . Yeah! Ross Geller : So, Saturday night! Missy Goldberg : I'd love to! Ross Geller : Great! Missy Goldberg : So how come it took you so long to ask me out? Ross Geller : Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing? Missy Goldberg : Sure, he was in your \"band\"? Ross Geller : It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt. Missy Goldberg : Sorry. Ross Geller : That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!", "summary": "Ross and Missy have been friends for years, but Ross has had feelings for her since high school. He asks Chandler (his roommate) about asking Missy out, but they made a pact that neither of them would pursue her romantically to avoid damaging their friendship."}
-{"dialogues": "Missy Goldberg : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah, why? Missy Goldberg : Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot! Ross Geller : You did? Missy Goldberg : Yeah. We'd go to the science lab after hours! Ross Geller : AND ON MY TURF? Monica Geller : Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour! Rachel Green : Well, he's coming from Jersey, he said he would get here as fast as he could! Monica Geller : Who is it? Man : It's the police!", "summary": "Chandler and Missy used to make out in the science lab after hours. Ross is upset because they did it on his turf. The police arrive unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Uh! The police! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Man : That's right, it's officer Goodbody. Monica Geller : What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? Roy : Whoo, that's a lot of stairs! Roy : Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch. Monica Geller : Are you gonna be ok, officer, uhm,... Roy : Goodbody! Monica Geller : ...If-you-say-so. Roy : So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take downtown!", "summary": "Police officers arrive at a building and one of them, Officer Goodbody, talks to Monica Geller about someone being bad. Rachel Green enters and mentions that there are a lot of stairs, causing Roy to feel unwell after eating Mexican food for lunch."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh, God! Roy : All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! Whaaaa... Here? All right. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? Rachel Green : All right, look, we did not know that you wanted a stripper so we went to the phonebook and we got the first name we could find! Phoebe Buffay : How old is your phonebook? Monica Geller : Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off! Roy : Are you talking about me?", "summary": "A party is being set up at Monica Geller's apartment, but things quickly go awry when the guest of honor, Phoebe Buffay, realizes that the stripper they hired is much older than expected."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy! Roy : Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? Did someone call for the long arm of the law? I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing! Roy : Whoa, whoa, whoa . She cringed! Phoebe Buffay : This is how I look when I'm turned on! Roy : You were talking about me before! Look, I don't need this! I'm outta here! Where's my hat? Look, I've been in this business for a long time! Phoebe Buffay : Shocking! Roy : Now if you just pay me my three hundred dollars, I'll be on my way! Phoebe Buffay : Three hundred dollars, are you kidding? Rachel Green : No, that's ok, let's me just get my check book! Phoebe Buffay : No, you're not gonna pay him, he didn't do anything!", "summary": "The group discusses a man named Roy who is being flirtatious and sexually suggestive towards them. Monica and Rachel are uncomfortable with his advances, while Phoebe finds it amusing. Roy requests money from the group, leading to further discomfort and conflict."}
-{"dialogues": "Roy : Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time! Phoebe Buffay : I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this. Roy : Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! Roy : I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath ... is all man. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, did you say all man or old man? Roy : Oh, you're mean! Monica Geller : Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir... Roy : Damnit. OH! Big surprise! The hunk of beef has feelings! Donny Osmond : Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill.", "summary": "Roy climbed a billion stairs to entertain Phoebe and Monica, but they didn't pay him enough. Roy showed off his costume, which he borrowed from his nephew, and Phoebe made fun of him. Monica tried to intervene, and Donny joined in with a silly nursery rhyme."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! Donny Osmond : Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. Pass. Pass. Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat. Henrietta : Uvula! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, then pass. Donny Osmond : O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani. Ross Geller : You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me? Chandler Bing : Excuse me. . That didn't make us sound gay at all! Ross Geller : You broke the pact! Chandler Bing : Ross, that was 16 years ago!", "summary": "Joey knows nursery rhymes and tries to describe things associated with the United States Congress, but fails. Henrietta answers \"uvula.\" Donny Osmond then announces that Gene will go to the winners circle to try for $10,000, and Joey will accompany him. Ross accuses Chandler of breaking a pact he made with him 16 years ago."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That doesn't matter! We're talking about the foundation of our friendship. Chandler Bing : I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts. Ross Geller : I didn't. Chandler Bing : Oh really? Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Oh really!? Ross Geller : NO! Chandler Bing : ADRIENNE TURNER!! Adrienne : Yes? Chandler Bing : Hey! Hey Adrienne.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler discuss the foundation of their friendship, with Chandler bringing up unfortunate hair as a factor. They then argue over whether or not Ross has broken one of their pacts, with neither admitting to breaking it. The conversation escalates until Chandler brings up Adrienne Turner, a mutual friend they both have a crush on."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I never did anything with Adrienne Turner. Chandler Bing : Oh please, and you knew how much I liked her. Ross Geller : I don't know what... you're talking about. Chandler Bing : Really? Chandler Bing : Remember that big party? Freshman year? A week before Christmas vacation? I do. You had some visitors. Monica Geller : I can't believe we are at a real college party! I have to pee so bad! Rachel Green : This is so awesome! College guys are so cute! Monica Geller : Hey, you've got a boyfriend! Rachel Green : I know. But if some guy who looks like Corey Haim wants to kiss me tonight, I'm sooo gonna let them! Monica Geller : Look, there's Chandler. You knew, that stupid friend of Ross'. Said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds!", "summary": "Ross denies any involvement with Adrienne, while Chandler brings up a past party where he caught Ross with visitors, including Monica and Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It... You can so totally tell. Monica Geller : I KNOW! Rachel Green : Well lets see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. Hey, how's it going . Chandler Bing : Aren't you...? Rachel Green : Yeah, Rachel. And this is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. . Chandler Bing : Right. So how're you doing? Rachel Green : Bitchin' Chandler Bing : Hi Monica. Monica Geller : Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you NOT. Chandler Bing : O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross.", "summary": "Ross' sister Monica and Rachel meet at Thanksgiving and talk about how they can find Ross. Chandler enters the conversation and Monica makes a snarky comment towards him."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God Rach. Bean bag chairs. Rachel Green : Oh. Monica Geller : Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days. Ross Geller : Listen Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this. Adrienne : Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this. Ross Geller : Cool! Ross Geller : I didn't know you knew about that. Chandler Bing : Well, I did and it hurt. That's when I wrote the song: \"Betrayal In The Common Room\". Ross Geller : Man... I... I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Look it was a lo-o-ong time ago.", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discover a bean bag chair in their apartment, leading to a humorous conversation about its potential for long-term use. Ross tries to keep Chandler from revealing a secret, but Chandler shares a song he wrote about the experience."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even. Chandler Bing : Hmm mmmhm.. Ross Geller : We are even, right? Chandler Bing : Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody? Ross Geller : What did you do to my mom? Chandler Bing : Not her! Rachel Green : I am sooo drunk. Monica Geller : That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. Chandler Bing : Soo... you girls having fun? Monica Geller : For your information, ass munch, I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are even after they both made out with other people. However, Chandler reveals that he wanted to get back at Ross for something and finds out that Ross likes Rachel more than anyone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Pizza Guy : SOMEBODY ORDER A PIZZA? Monica Geller : Oh THATS ME! Rachel Green : I am soo not going to do good on my SATs tomorrow. Chandler Bing : Well maybe if you go to school here next year we can totally hang out. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. There is a plan! Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now? Chandler Bing : Well, maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship. Rachel Green : Oh, what a line. Chandler Bing : So where are you applying to? Rachel Green : Oh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... Hey! Chandler Bing : I'm in college and I'm in a band.", "summary": "Someone orders a pizza. Monica Geller is the one who ordered it. Rachel Green is not doing well on her SATs the next day and Chandler Bing offers to hang out with her at his college if she gets in. Rachel starts taking \"smart pills\" but jokes about it. Chandler suggests a beauty scholarship, which Rachel rejects. They discuss where they are applying to college."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Yeah okay. Roy : What's the matter? You never saw a 50 year old stripper cry before? Phoebe Buffay : You know, it's fine. We'll pay you. Roy : No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know. Rachel Green : No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have? Roy : I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame. Rachel Green : So maybe something in an office. Phoebe Buffay : Or you could teach stripping. You know, share your gift, pass the torch. Roy : You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind. Phoebe Buffay : There you go. Okay, do you think you're gonna be okay?", "summary": "Roy, a 50 year old stripper, considers retiring from his profession after feeling unfulfilled and emotional following a performance. His friends Rachel and Phoebe offer suggestions for alternative careers, including office work or teaching stripping, before checking in on Roy's well-being."}
-{"dialogues": "Roy : Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it. Phoebe Buffay : Finish it! Roy : What? Phoebe Buffay : Your last dance. Do it for us. Roy : Really? Rachel Green : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah. He deserves to do the thing he loves one last time. Roy : Okay, all right... Get ready ladies! Phoebe Buffay : Oh this is so ho-o-ot! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no, no, don't stop!", "summary": "Roy wants to finish his last dance but didn't get a chance before he dies. Phoebe encourages him to do it for them, and Roy agrees."}
-{"dialogues": "Roy : Have to... Donny Osmond : Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Gene : Sure. Donny Osmond : Okay. Give me sixty seconds on the clock please... Ready, GO! Gene : Oak, maple, elm, birch... Joey Tribbiani : I-I-I don't know. Types of trees? Gene : Uhm... Buenos dias, enchilada, por favor... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know any Spanish words. Gene : A match, a candle...", "summary": "Joey and Gene are on a game show with Donny Osmond as the host. They are given sixty seconds to answer questions, but Joey struggles with the topic of types of trees while Gene stumbles over his words."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Things that go \"tssst\" when you put them out. Gene : A torch, a bonfire... uhm, your pee... Joey Tribbiani : Things that burn. Gene : \"I'd like to go for a walk\", uhm \"scratch my belly\". Joey Tribbiani : Dude, dude! I think you're losing it. Gene : Uhm, \"I have fur\", \"I like to bark\". Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, oh... What a dog says. Gene : Pepperoni... Joey Tribbiani : Pizza toppings, next! Gene : Cindy Crawford, Christie Brinkley, Heidi Klum, Claudia Schiffer...", "summary": "Joey and Gene have a conversation about things that go \"tssst\" when you put them out, such as a torch and a bonfire. Gene then adds that his pee also goes \"tssst.\" Joey mentions things that burn, and Gene responds with random phrases before mentioning pizza toppings. Finally, Gene names several supermodels."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, oh... Gene : Christie Turlington, Kate Moss... Joey Tribbiani : Girls Chandler could never get? Gene : Supermodels! Joey Tribbiani : Where? Ross Geller : Hey, where's Rachel? Monica Geller : She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital. Ross Geller : Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel? Monica Geller : What? When was this? Ross Geller : Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.", "summary": "Gene mentions supermodels that Joey could never get, including Christie Turlington and Kate Moss. Joey replies with a list of girls Chandler could never get. Monica reveals that Rachel and Phoebe took a stripper to the hospital. Ross mentions that Chandler kissed Rachel in 1987 during their visit to his school."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God! That's wild! Chandler Bing : Yeah, but it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't matter. Ross Geller : Well, it matters to me. Chandler Bing : Why? Ross Geller : Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time. Chandler Bing : You kissed her that night too? Monica Geller : Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed. Chandler Bing : Seriously, where did this happen? Ross Geller : Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first. Chandler Bing : Oh wait... What bed did you say she was on?", "summary": "Ross finds out that Chandler kissed Rachel before him and becomes jealous."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Mine. Chandler Bing : I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed. Ross Geller : No, she was definitely on my bed. Chandler Bing : Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed? Ross Geller : Well, then who was on my bed? Monica Geller : OH! Oh, oh! Ross Geller : NO! No, no! Monica Geller : YES! Ross Geller : You were under the pile of coats? Monica Geller : I was the pile of coats!", "summary": "Ross and Chandler argue over a girl they both kissed."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : OH MY GOD! Monica Geller : You were my Midnight Mystery Kisser? Ross Geller : You were my first kiss with Rachel? Monica Geller : You were my first kiss ever? Chandler Bing : What did I marry into? Monica Geller : Oh, crap! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hey. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step dad's in prison. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah.", "summary": "Ross discovers that Monica was his first kiss, Rachel, and Chandler wonder what they married into. Phoebe asks Joey about her stepdad being in prison."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Well, uhm... listen he was supposed to get a weekend furlough, so he'd come to the wedding tomorrow, but he just called and... uhm... well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the exercise yard just couldn't wait till Monday. Joey Tribbiani : So he can't come? Phoebe Buffay : No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it. Joey Tribbiani : Seriously? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom... Joey Tribbiani : I am pretty wisdomous. Phoebe Buffay : So... what do you say? Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I hope... that you know... I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!", "summary": "Phoebe wants Joey to walk her down the aisle at her wedding after her fiance is unable to attend due to stabbing someone in the exercise yard. Joey agrees to do it, despite initial hesitation."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, no, no, let your dad get this. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me! Monica Geller : Well, it matters to me! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I don't care, so you pick! Monica Geller : Did you just hung up on me? All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that. Monica Geller : You don't know military time? Phoebe Buffay : Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that. Monica Geller : Just subtract twelve.", "summary": "Phoebe is getting married and her wedding planner is driving her crazy. Monica needs Phoebe at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours, but Phoebe doesn't know military time and jokes about being in missile training."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so... 1800 minus twelve is... one thousand, seven hundred and... Monica Geller : Six o'clock! Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Monica Geller : Ok. Hold on. Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture? Phoebe Buffay : Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding. Monica Geller : Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white. Phoebe Buffay : What harpist? My friend Marjorie is playing the steel drums. Monica Geller : Ooh... she backed out. Phoebe Buffay : She did? Why? Monica Geller : I made her. Steel drums don't really say \"elegant wedding\". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.", "summary": "Monica plans to make Phoebe's wedding day special by hiring a harpist and having her wear white. However, when the harpist backs out, Monica suggests that Phoebe's friend Marjorie, who was originally scheduled to play steel drums, will now perform instead. However, Marjorie is unable to play due to an unpleasant odor she emits, leading Monica to scramble for a new performer."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us? Chandler Bing : No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Rehearse it! Ross Geller : Hi! Mike Hannigan : Thanks for coming you guys. Ross Geller : Oh, hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Chandler Bing are at a rehearsal dinner, where they reminisce about their past conversations and jokes. Ross Geller enters and greets them before awkwardly attempting to shake hands with Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch? Ross Geller : That is why! Mike Hannigan : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : So Rach. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Where is Emma? Rachel Green : Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix. Monica Geller : Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're Mike's parents, right? Mike's Mother : Yes, we are.", "summary": "Mike touches Ross's genitals, and Ross explains that it's because he's got a baby on the way. Phoebe asks where Emma is, and Rachel reveals that Monica sent her to her mother's house. Monica complains about being upset about the baby, and Joey asks Mike's parents if they are indeed Mike's parents."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Ah, our little ones are growing up fast, uh? Mike's Father : How's that? Joey Tribbiani : You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go. Mike's Father : Who in God's name are you? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm not that fond of you either, ok buddy? But I'm just trying to be nice for the kids! Chandler Bing : You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow. Ross Geller : Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid? Rachel Green : Uh... November? Ross Geller : I wanna say it's not looking good. Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs...", "summary": "Mike's Father and Joey Tribbiani discuss their feelings about children growing up. Mike's Father does not know who Joey is. Chandler Bing realizes they have no idea what they will be doing at the wedding tomorrow. Ross Geller wonders when he was asked to be a bridesmaid and Rachel Green remembers it being in November."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What's up? Rachel Green : Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet. Chandler Bing : Heh. Phoebe Buffay : Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Well, this is really awkward Oh, and I can leave! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut. Ross Geller : Oh, man! Chandler Bing : This is like figure skating team all over again. I mean synchronized swimming. I mean- I mean the balance beam. Help me! Ross Geller : FOOTBALL!", "summary": "Plot Summary: The gang finds out they're not in the wedding and gets awkward."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Thank you. Monica Geller : Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian! Monica Geller : Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it! Phoebe Buffay : I don't have a fax machine. Monica Geller : Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises! Ross Geller : I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding. Chandler Bing : I know, I hate being left out of things. Ross Geller : And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it... Mike Hannigan : Hey guys, how is it going?", "summary": "Monica changed the vegetarian pot stickers to non-vegetarian without telling anyone, leading to unexpected surprises at the wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Fine. We're just sitting here. Alone. Doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow. Mike Hannigan : Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it. Chandler Bing : What happened? Ross Geller : Who cares, AND? Mike Hannigan : ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... Ross Geller : I'll do it! Chandler Bing : M-Me-me-me! Mike Hannigan : You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one. Chandler Bing : Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus. Ross Geller : No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! Huh?", "summary": "A rehearsal for tomorrow is taking place, but things take an unexpected turn when one of the groomsmen can't make it due to an emergency. The remaining guests discuss who should take his place, leading to a comedic exchange between Chandler Bing and Ross Geller."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. Ross Geller : Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman. Chandler Bing : Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me! Ross Geller : Please, you're going down! Chandler Bing : You are going downer! Ross Geller : Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team? Chandler Bing : I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! Joey Tribbiani : So, you know I'm filling in for Phoebe's step dad, tomorrow, right? Mike Hannigan : Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, my pleasure. So what are your intentions with my Phoebe?", "summary": "Mike is uncomfortable making a decision and chooses to let Phoebe decide. Ross jokes about Chandler being a groomsman, and they have a playful exchange. Joey fills in for Phoebe's stepdad and has a flirtatious conversation with Mike about his intentions with Phoebe."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : I intend to marry her. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, a wiseacre. . No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable? Mike Hannigan : No more so than acting. Joey Tribbiani : Strike two! Mike Hannigan : You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad? Joey Tribbiani : Strike three! You only get one more, Mike! Ross Geller : So, what did you decide? Phoebe Buffay : I decided to pee. Chandler Bing : Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!", "summary": "Mike plans to marry someone and Joey questions his decision, belittling it as unstable. Mike defends himself and then jokes about living with Joey's father. Joey becomes annoyed and tells Mike he can only give him one more chance before deciding not to invite him to the wedding. Meanwhile, Phoebe reveals she cannot choose between Chandler and another groomsman due to her love for both of them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's . Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today. Rachel Green : Goody, what is it! Phoebe Buffay : Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that. Rachel Green : What, what, what, no, I don't wanna do that. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid. Ross Geller : I'll do it! Monica Geller : Ok, it's 2100 hours. Time for your toast. Mike Hannigan : Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom? Monica Geller : You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! . Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!", "summary": "The conversation revolves around selecting a groomsman for a wedding, with Phoebe Buffay asking Rachel Green to choose between Ross Geller and Chandler Bing. Rachel initially declines but ultimately selects Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Is that what you say to Chandler? Monica Geller : It's 2101 and I am not amused. . Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. . My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here... Monica Geller : oh God. Phoebe Buffay : And... moment's over! So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I . Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS OR THIS OR THIS OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! You know what? You're done. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : YOU'RE FIRED! Cheers! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Happy wedding day! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, happy my wedding day to you!", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe are getting married, but things don't start off well as they have a few words they want to say to each other and the guests. Phoebe explains how she and Joey set each other up with friends, including Mike, who wasn't originally planned for the match. Despite some initial awkwardness, they are happy to be getting married and want a simple wedding without any unnecessary interruptions or expectations. However, Monica has other ideas and takes over the ceremony, causing chaos and confusion. In the end, Phoebe fires the person conducting the ceremony and the guests cheer as they begin their new life together."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages! Monica Geller : Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid. Monica Geller : Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, this is a lot! Monica Geller : Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine. Phoebe Buffay : You won awards? Monica Geller : Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer. Ross Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel are planning a bridal shower for their friend, Joey becomes anxious about the corsages, Phoebe offers to help organize the event, Monica gives her headset to Phoebe, and Ross interrupts."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Where's Rach? Monica Geller : She's in her room, why? Ross Geller : I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! . Oh! My God! You're breathtaking! Rachel Green : What d'you want? Ross Geller : You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you? Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is! Ross Geller : I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me! Rachel Green : Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too! Ross Geller : Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!", "summary": "Ross wants Rachel to choose him as her groomsman, but she is hesitant and mentions that Chandler also wants to be one. Ross tries to persuade her by saying that whoever she chooses will walk down the aisle with her, but if she picks Chandler, he'll be whispering stupid jokes in her ear throughout the ceremony."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, you are the lesser of two evils! Ross Geller : YES, YES! Phoebe Buffay : Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins? Monica Geller : I know. . Mike Hannigan : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word \"lorkins\" what flowers would that be? Mike Hannigan : Orchids? Phoebe Buffay : Right there! That's why I'm marrying you! Joey Tribbiani : Hello Michael. Mike Hannigan : Joseph.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are discussing Ross's love interest, who he considers to be the lesser of two evils. Phoebe doesn't understand what they're saying and wonders why the flowers are wrong. Mike attempts to explain the word \"lorkins\" and Phoebe marries him after he correctly guesses the flower. Joey enters the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : May I have a word with you, please? Mike Hannigan : This is... great... Joey Tribbiani : Have a seat. Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... I cannot allow this. Mike Hannigan : Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie? Joey Tribbiani : More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for \"Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal.\" Mike Hannigan : Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want? Joey Tribbiani : I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her. Mike Hannigan : Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her. Joey Tribbiani : That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family. Mike Hannigan : That must have been one lousy movie.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani tries to confront Mike Hannigan about his behavior towards Phoebe, which he considers disrespectful to their family. Mike insists that he loves Phoebe and would never harm her, but Joey wants to make sure he understands the importance of family."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That was ME! Rachel Green : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy! Rachel Green : Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross. Chandler Bing : Let me tell you why you need to pick me. See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back. Rachel Green : All right fine, I pick you. Chandler Bing : Y-Y-YEEESSS! Make \"groom\" for Chandler. Rachel Green : Oh my... Phoebe Buffay : No! We're gonna do it my way. Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. Hello? Joey Tribbiani : I'm glad we had this little talk.", "summary": "Rachel considers who to ask to be her groomsman, with Chandler pushing his case by sharing a childhood story of being left out and insecure. Rachel ultimately picks Chandler, but Phoebe interrupts to argue that her way is better."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Yes. Yeah and thanks for all the wedding night advice. That didn't make me uncomfortable at all! Alright, so I'll see everybody tonight? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Bye. Mike Hannigan : Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, what's it doing here? Monica Geller : Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. Uh! What a pickle. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me? Joey Tribbiani : How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? Chandler Bing : How's it going? Ross Geller : Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe discuss the advice given to him for his wedding night, before Monica interrupts. They mention an ice sculpture in the hall, which was sent to the wrong address. Phoebe is frustrated with the situation, while Joey makes a suggestive comment about the sculpture. Chandler asks how things are going, and Ross mentions he is just getting coffee before the wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That's what I was doing too. Ross Geller : Well, you have fun tonight. Chandler Bing : You too. Ross Geller : Oh, I will. Chandler Bing : Me too. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you? Chandler Bing : I'm not supposed to tell you. Ross Geller : I'm not supposed to tell you! Chandler Bing : You told us both we could be in the wedding? Rachel Green : Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are planning a wedding, but they are keeping it a secret from Rachel. Ross becomes annoyed when Chandler keeps teasing him about it, and Chandler reveals that he was also supposed to be in the wedding."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. Chandler Bing : Rach, Rach, knock knock. Rachel Green : Who's there? Chandler Bing : I'll tell you at the wedding. Rachel Green : Uh. Mike Hannigan : Hey, I forgot my scarf. Rachel Green : You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick. Mike Hannigan : Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy. Ross Geller : What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose. Rachel Green : Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel must choose between them as they prepare for their wedding. Chandler makes a joke about knocking on the door, but Rachel cannot decide who to pick. Mike suggests bringing his family dog, Chappy, as the third groomsman, but Ross is opposed. In the end, Rachel chooses Chappy."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!? Monica Geller : How's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Help me. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : I want you to be Crazy Bitch again. Monica Geller : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Please? Monica Geller : You really want me to come back? Phoebe Buffay : More than I wanna get married. Monica Geller : Ok people, we are back in business! Oh God, we've missed you soo much! Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.", "summary": "The chef is not present at the Hamilton Club, despite the food and drinks being there. The bartender is also missing. Phoebe and Monica have a conversation about the situation, with Phoebe wanting Monica to come back as \"Crazy Bitch.\" Monica agrees to help, and they begin making preparations for an event."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what are you guys gonna do? Phoebe Buffay : About what? Joey Tribbiani : The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. Monica Geller : Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey! Joey Tribbiani : I don't think they are. Ross Geller : Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. So sorry Pheebs. Monica Geller : Well, the club lost it's power. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah according to the news, most of the city did. Rachel Green : Since when do you watch the news? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather girl.", "summary": "Blizzard hits the city, bridges and tunnels closed. Wedding party from New Jersey in jeopardy. Band and photographer may not make it. City loses power. Joey watches news with new weather girl."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Rachel Green : Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street? Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted! Phoebe Buffay : What do you think? Mike Hannigan : I think I wanna get married to you today. Phoebe Buffay : Me too! Monica, do you think we could do it? Monica Geller : AFFIRMATIVE! Monica Geller : OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. Okay, who left the ice sculpture ON THE STEAM GRATE?", "summary": "Phoebe and Mike want to get married today but the weather is bad. Rachel suggests they do it on the street instead. Phoebe is hesitant but eventually agrees. Monica thinks it's a good idea and starts making preparations. Gunther turns on the Christmas lights and someone left an ice sculpture on the steam grate."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike's Mom : Michael! Mike Hannigan : Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! Hi! Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of... Mike's Mom : No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever. Mike's Dad : I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... Come on, sweetheart. Mike Hannigan : You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle. Chandler Bing : So technically, would this person be in the wedding? Mike Hannigan : I guess. Chandler Bing : I'll do it! Ross Geller : No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs? Chandler Bing : I'm not scared. I'll just take little Chappy and... HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED.", "summary": "Mike's mom approves of him getting married in the street despite not being something she would normally approve of. Mike's dad reveals he crushed a pill and put it in his wife's drink. Mike mentions that Chappy, their dog, is too small to handle all the snow and someone will have to walk him down the aisle. Chandler offers to walk the dog down the aisle and Ross expresses concern about Chandler being afraid of dogs."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... He stinks! Monica Geller : Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it. Mike Hannigan : Oh, no! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding. Monica Geller : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Huhuh... Ross Geller : Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free. Joey Tribbiani : I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do. Monica Geller : Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle. Chandler Bing : I'll do it.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are getting married, but their minister is snowed in and can't make it. Joey, who is ordained, offers to perform the ceremony. However, they need someone else to walk Phoebe down the aisle. Chandler volunteers for the job."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I'll... Chandler Bing : Na ha ha... Ne he he... Ah ah... Monica Geller : Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. Monica Geller : Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Hi new dad. Monica Geller : So, you're ready to do this? Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh, uhuh... Oh my God! This is really happening. Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you. Monica Geller : I love you. Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are getting married, with Joey as the best man and Phoebe as the maid of honor. However, things quickly go awry when Monica realizes she has forgotten to arrange for dresses for the wedding party."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I love you guys. Monica Geller : I love you. Monica Geller : Okay. It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. Let's get this bad boy on the road. Chandler Bing : Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight? Monica Geller : I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : Okay Marjorie, hit it. Rachel Green : Geez Ross, you could have showered. Ross Geller : It's the dog. Monica Geller : Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! Oh, that's me.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are planning a wedding, while Phoebe and Rachel try to help. Monica gives instructions to her team, including Chandler, who wants Monica to wear a headset in bed. Ross has showered but his dog made a mess. Marjorie is mentioned, as well as a bridesmaid who is down."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Ready? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, oh no. Wait. Chandler Bing : Wow! Aren't you gonna be cold? Phoebe Buffay : I don't care... I'll be my something blue. Chandler Bing : You look beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Mike Hannigan : My God! Aren't you freezing? Phoebe Buffay : Na-ah.", "summary": "Phoebe and Chandler are getting ready for a date, with Phoebe wearing a blue dress despite being cold. Mike interrupts to comment on their attire."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings? Joey Tribbiani : Okay... Phoebe Buffay : When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes. Mike Hannigan : I love you too. Ross Geller : Uh Joey... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Ross Geller : Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, okay. Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay and Mike Hannigan are getting married. Phoebe thanks her friends and family for being there and mentions that she always felt like something was missing in her life until now. Mike gushes over Phoebe's beauty and kindness, and Phoebe thanks him for making every day an adventure. Ross Geller interrupts to mention that Chappy's heart rate has slowed down, but Joey quickly moves the focus back to the wedding proceedings. Phoebe is asked if she takes Mike to be her husband, and she happily says yes."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : I do. Joey Tribbiani : Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife? Mike Hannigan : I do. Joey Tribbiani : I now pronounce you... husband and wife. Phoebe Buffay : I got married! Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing. Chandler Bing : That really was an incredible wedding. Joey Tribbiani : It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage? Chandler Bing : I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had. Joey Tribbiani : Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay gets married unexpectedly and becomes cold; Joey Tribbiani pronounces them husband and wife; Chandler Bing and Joey invite themselves over for drinks after the wedding, but Chandler has plans for a late-night sexual encounter."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Come on Chappy, do your business. MAKE! MA-AKE! I did not sign on for this. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. #ALL# : Hey! Hi! Rachel Green : How was the honeymoon? Phoebe; Oh, incredible! Oh! Champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach, it was sooo ro-man-tic! Rachel Green : Oh! Chandler Bing : So, where's Mike? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there! Joey Tribbiani : Well anyway, I'm glad you're back, I really need your help. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, why? What's up? Joey Tribbiani : I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my resume, I'm fluent in.", "summary": "Ross and Chandler are frustrated with Phoebe's constant business ideas. Rachel returns from her honeymoon and shares details of her romantic getaway. Joey needs Phoebe's help with an upcoming audition, but he can't speak French."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Joey, you shouldn't lie on your resume. Monica Geller : Yeah, you really shouldn't. By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo? Ross Geller : It was ok... Rachel Green : I did not know you spoke French. Phoebe Buffay : Oui, bien sur je parle Francais! Qu'est-ce que tu penses alors? Rachel Green : Oh... you're so sexy! Joey Tribbiani : Well, so, will you help me? I really wanna be in this play. Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Tout le plaisir est pour moi, mon ami. Rachel Green : Seriously stop it, or I'm gonna jump on ya. Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss not lying on a resume, while Monica brings up Ross's year-long dig in Cairo. Phoebe speaks French and Rachel is impressed. Joey asks for help with a play, and Phoebe agrees to assist him. Chandler interrupts the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Why are you wearing my apron? Monica Geller : I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour. Chandler Bing : Oh, hey, when she gets here, is it ok if I introduce you two as \"my wife\" and \"the woman who's carrying my child\"? No? Divorce? Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : You guys know where Rachel is? Monica Geller : No, we haven't seen her since this morning. Ross Geller : So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. Monica Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are preparing cookies for Erica while getting ready to leave for the airport. Chandler jokes about introducing Monica as \"my wife\" and \"the woman carrying my child\" when Rachel arrives, but Monica shoots down the idea. Meanwhile, Ross is searching for Rachel, who is running late and missed their agreed meeting time with Emma."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : These are for Erica! Ross Geller : What? She's gonna eat all those cookies? Monica Geller : Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat! Ross Geller : So, why is Erica coming to visit? Monica Geller : Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building... Chandler Bing : Oh, those places! There's always so many people, their being corralled like cattle, and... you know, there's always some idiot who goes \"Mooooo\"! Monica Geller : Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it? Ross Geller : Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late! Rachel Green : Ross...", "summary": "Erica is visiting New York City, and Monica wants to get to know her better. Chandler complains about tourists at landmarks like the Statue of Liberty and Empire State Building, while Ross arrives late to the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, no, no, I'm sure you have a great excuse, wh-was it a hair appointment, a mani-pedi or was there a sale at Barney's? Rachel Green : My father had an heart attack... ...while I was at Barney's. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Honey. Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry... Ross Geller : Is-is he ok? Rachel Green : Yeah, they said he's gonna be fine, but he's still heavily sedated. Ross Geller : Ok, ok. I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you, I mean, you can't be alone right now. Rachel Green : No, come on, I'm totally ok. I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own. Ross Geller : Still-still, let me come... for me.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss her father's heart attack while she was at Barney's, with Rachel insisting she doesn't need Ross's help and Ross offering to come out to Long Island to be with her."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok. If you really need to. Ross Geller : I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies. Rachel Green : Oh, I really could. Ross Geller : Oh! Rachel Green : Ohh... Phoebe Buffay : All right, it seems pretty simple. Your first line is \"My name is Claude\", so, just repeat after me. \"Je m'appelle Claude\". Joey Tribbiani : Je de coup Clow. Phoebe Buffay : Well, just... let's try it again. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : Je m'appelle Claude.", "summary": "Monica bakes cookies and offers them to Ross and Rachel, who both express interest. Phoebe suggests they use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies as a distraction, and Joey tries to repeat after her but ends up saying something silly instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Je depli mblue. Phoebe Buffay : Uh. It's not... quite what I'm saying. Joey Tribbiani : Really? It sounds exactly the same to me. Phoebe Buffay : It does, really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : All right, let just try it again. Really listen. Joey Tribbiani : Got it. Phoebe Buffay : Je m'appelle Claude. Joey Tribbiani : Je te flouppe Fli. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, mon Dieu!", "summary": "Joey and Phoebe have a conversation where they struggle to understand each other due to language barriers."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh, de fuff! Monica Geller : Hey you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Monica Geller : Joey. Erica, baby! Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Monica Geller : Everyone. Erica, baby! Chandler Bing : Monica. Calm, self.", "summary": "Erica and a baby are introduced to Joey, Phoebe, and Monica."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : Thank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't believe I'm here! Joey Tribbiani : Welcome to New York City! Or should I say \"ghe deu flooff New York City\"? Chandler Bing : Why would you say that? Phoebe Buffay : Ok. What are you gonna be doing today? Erica : I wanna see everything! Times Square, Coney Island, Rockefeller Center... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you know what you should do? You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty. Erica : Oh yeah, let's do that! Chandler Bing : Great! This baby'd better to be really good. Rachel Green : Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green. Ross Geller : And I'm Doctor Ross Geller.", "summary": "Erica visits New York City and meets Joey, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross. Erica wants to see everything in the city, while Joey suggests walking to the top of the Statue of Liberty."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here. Rachel Green : Can somebody please go in? Nurse : Absolutely. Ross Geller : Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him. Rachel Green : Ross, please, don't be so scared of him! Ross Geller : I'm not scared of him, I'm really sick! Nurse : He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out. Ross Geller : I'm feeling better. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh! Oh my God! Ohhh, ohhh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh? Nurse : Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.", "summary": "Ross is in the hospital after accidentally falling down the stairs while trying to avoid Rachel's father's ear and nose hair trimmer. Rachel is frantic and wants to go inside to see Ross, but Ross is hesitant due to concerns about infecting him with his throat infection. The nurse allows them to enter, and Ross begins to feel better."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, great, Are you gonna be ok? Ross Geller : He's unconscious, I think we'll be just fine! Rachel Green : Ok. Ross Geller : Did the TV wake you? Leonard Green : No, when you put your feet up in my bed, you tugged on my catheter. Ross Geller : Ouchy. Leonard Green : What are you doing here, Geller? Ross Geller : Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! So what's new? Leonard Green : Ooh, I have a little heart attack. Ross Geller : Right, is it painful?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel find an unconscious man in Leonard's bed, and they try to reassure each other that everything will be okay. Meanwhile, Leonard has a medical issue related to his catheter. Ross and Rachel are there with him when he has a \"heart attack.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Leonard Green : What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you? Ross Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here. Leonard Green : So what's new with you, uh, knocked up any more of my daughters lately? Ross Geller : Nope, just the one. RACH! Phoebe Buffay : Je m'appelle Claude. Joey Tribbiani : Je do call blue! Phoebe Buffay : Noooo! Ok, maybe if we just break it down. Ok, let's try at one syllable at a time. Ok? So repeat after me. \"je\". Joey Tribbiani : je. Phoebe Buffay : m'ap. Joey Tribbiani : mah. Phoebe Buffay : pelle.", "summary": "Ross tries to get Rachel to come back to the apartment, while Leonard and Joey make inappropriate comments about Phoebe's name."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : pel. Phoebe Buffay : Great, ok faster! \"je\" Joey Tribbiani : je. Phoebe Buffay : m'ap. Joey Tribbiani : mah. Phoebe Buffay : pelle. Joey Tribbiani : pel. Phoebe Buffay : Je m'appelle! Joey Tribbiani : Me pooh pooh! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, it's too hard, I can't teach you!", "summary": "Joey tries to learn how to say \"I am\" in French from Phoebe, but they have trouble communicating and end up arguing."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I, I have to go before I put your head through a wall. Joey Tribbiani : Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! . Pooh. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : I was gonna make us some dinner but all I found in your dad's fridge was bacon and heavy cream. I think we solved the mystery of the heart attack. Rachel Green : Uh. Did you call your parents? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah. Emma's doing great. Rachel Green : Oh good. Ross Geller : Wow.", "summary": "Phoebe threatens to harm Joey after discovering him with another woman, while Ross and Rachel deal with a lack of food in their fridge and Ross's parenting skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room. Rachel Green : What do you mean? You've been in my room before! Ross Geller : Yeah, sure, right! Like I've ever been in Rachel Green's room. Rachel Green : Ok I gotta tell ya, it's really weird when you use my whole name. Ross Geller : Sorry. . You ok? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : You had a rough day, uh? Rachel Green : Yeah, just so weird seeing him like that, you know? I mean he is a doctor, you don't expect doctors to get sick! Ross Geller : But we do! It's gonna be ok, Rach!", "summary": "Ross enters Rachel's room and they have an awkward exchange. Rachel is upset about seeing Ross in her room, especially since he's a doctor and shouldn't be sick."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital! Ross Geller : What? No, no! Hey, hey, hey look... Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok? Rachel Green : Really, I shouldn't feel guilty? Ross Geller : No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest. Rachel Green : Ok, maybe you're right. Ross Geller : Good night. Rachel Green : Wait, wait, wait, wait. Would you stay here with me for a little while? Ross Geller : Sure!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel are discussing Chandler's accident, with Rachel wanting to go to the hospital right away and Ross trying to convince her to wait until morning."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Ok. Thank you for coming with me today. Ross Geller : Oh, of course... Rachel Green : Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room! Ross Geller : Me too. Come here. Rachel Green : I just don't want to be alone tonight. Ross Geller : Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or... Oh, oh. . No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea. Rachel Green : Wait, we won't know that until we do it, will we? Ross Geller : No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right, I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you. Rachel Green : Taking advantage? I'm giving you the advantage, enjoy! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation in her room where they discuss her feelings about her father and whether or not they should spend the night together. Ross ultimately decides that he doesn't think it's a good idea and leaves."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Wow. Ok. Ross Geller : I'll see you in the morning . Rachel Green : Mhm-mh! Ross Geller : Haven't had sex in four months, I should get a medal for that! Erica : Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming. Chandler Bing : New York is awesome! Monica Geller : What is with you? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know. Monica Geller : Yeah, you miss alot, when you're moo-ing.", "summary": "Ross hasn't had sex in four months and jokes about getting a medal for it. Erica thanks Rachel for taking her to various places and Monica apologizes for Chandler's behavior. Chandler has been to New York before but never truly seen it."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : Thanks so much for showing me around. Monica Geller : Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you. Erica : Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... Chandler Bing : Oh, uhm, okay, uhm, do you mind if we ask you some questions about the father? Erica : Oh, sure. Yeah, well, he was my high school boyfriend. Captain of the football team, really cute and he got a scholarship and went off to college. Chandler Bing : That's great. Erica : Yeah... it's almost definitely him. Monica Geller : How's that now? Erica : Well, there is a chance it's another guy. I mean, I have only ever been with two guys, but they sorta overlapped. Chandler Bing : So, what does the other guy do? Does he go to college too?", "summary": "Erica thanks Monica and Chandler for showing her around. They express their pleasure in getting to know Erica. Chandler asks Erica if she knows anything about her father, who was her high school boyfriend and captain of the football team. Erica reveals that there is a chance it's another guy she's been with, as they overlap."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : No, he's in prison. Monica Geller : Was he falsely accused of something? Erica : No... he killed his father with a shovel. But other than that, he's a great guy. Chandler Bing : I'll bet his dad doesn't think so. Monica Geller : Are you awake? Chandler Bing : Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake! Monica Geller : Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy. Chandler Bing : Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel-killer. Monica Geller : Alright, lets say that it is him, would we not want the baby? No! Would we treat him any differently? Chandler Bing : I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.", "summary": "The conversation revolves around a man who killed his father with a shovel and is now in prison. The group debates whether they would want the baby if it were theirs, despite the father's actions, and considers treating the suspect differently."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How? Chandler Bing : I dunno, aren't there tests for these things, right? Monica Geller : Yeah, but maybe we're just over-reacting. Chandler Bing : Pff, easy for you to say, he's a father killer. He probably loves him mommy. He's probably got a tattoo that says \"mom\" on his shovel-wielding arm! Tape : We will now count from one to five. Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq. Joey Tribbiani : Huh, un, blu, bla, flu, flenk! Tape : Good job. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Chandler suggests there are tests for determining if someone is a father killer, but Monica thinks they might be overreacting. Chandler makes a joke about the person having a tattoo of \"mom\" on their arm. Later, Joey counts from one to five and then speaks gibberish, while Phoebe greets him."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday and I thought about it a lot and, and I know, I was too impatient. SO lets try it again. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good! Phoebe Buffay : Really, can I hear some of it. Joey Tribbiani : Sure, sure. Ok, \"Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu\" See? Phoebe Buffay : Well, you're not, You're not... you're not... again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH! Joey Tribbiani : Oh well I think I am, yeah and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part. Phoebe Buffay : How could you possibly think that? Joey Tribbiani : For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job! Ross Geller : Hey Rach, can you grab me a cup of coffee? Rachel Green : Sure.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey have a conversation about an audition for a play, with Phoebe expressing regret for not being able to help Joey prepare due to impatience, and Joey showing off his own attempt at speaking French (which he thinks is good) despite not actually speaking the language."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay? Rachel Green : Hmm-hmm. Ross Geller : You sure you're alright? Rachel Green : Yep. Ross Geller : O-kay. Well, I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast. Rachel Green : FYI.. Ross Geller : There it is... Rachel Green : In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. Ross Geller : Wait, wait, You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing. Rachel Green : Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have an awkward conversation about a past incident where Ross tried to give Rachel \"ill-advised sympathy sex.\" Rachel is upset and feels embarrassed and stupid, while Ross tries to justify his actions."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well... Rachel Green : Oh stop that! Ross Geller : I can't believe this. I was just being a good guy. I treated you with respect and understanding. Rachel Green : Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side) Ross Geller : Hey, I was looking out for you. Rachel Green : Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me. Ross Geller : I gotta say, I have not had sex a lot of times before, this is the worst ever. Rachel Green : Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. Ross Geller : Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again. Rachel Green : What?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a conversation about their previous sexual encounter, with Ross expressing disappointment and Rachel expressing frustration at being told what to do."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That's right, sex is off the table. I am never having sex with you again. Dr. Green, are you feeling better? Chandler Bing : Hey! How was lunch? Erica : We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob. Chandler Bing : Oh, really? Erica : No! You we're right, that was fun! I'm gonna go finish packing. Chandler Bing : O-okay. So, is she gonna take the test? Monica Geller : Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is. Chandler Bing : Oh God. It's shovely-Joe, isn't it? Monica Geller : No it's not. Chandler Bing : How do you know?", "summary": "Ross forbids sexual activity with Erica while Chandler and Monica discuss a pregnancy test. Monica reveals she already knows who the father is, but Chandler suspects it's someone else."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way. Chandler Bing : Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do? Monica Geller : The thing we never do. Chandler Bing : Shovely Joe! Director : Whenever you're ready Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Dja bu bu Claude. Uh, c'est la pu les la lu blah bloo. Casting Assistant : I'm sorry, what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, come on! French it u-up! Director : Joey, do you speak French? Joey Tribbiani : Toutes la smore! Bu blu-ay bloo blah ooh! Pfoof!", "summary": "Erica did something with a prison guard that would be difficult to make a baby. Chandler and Monica are shocked and confused. Joey struggles to explain what happened and uses French phrases. The group is baffled by Erica's actions and Joey's language barrier."}
-{"dialogues": "Director : You know what. I think this audition is over. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Regine Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estee Lauder. Director : You really think this man is speaking French? Joey Tribbiani : Sa-sa-saw! Phoebe Buffay : Ecoutez, je vais vous dire la verite. C'est mon petit frere. Il est un peu retarde. Phoebe Buffay : Alors, si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui... Director : Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. All right. But my French was good? Director : It was great. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See!", "summary": "Plot Summary:\nA director is auditioning actors for a role, but becomes confused when one of the applicants, Phoebe Buffay, speaks with a French accent. Joey Tribbiani, also an actor, claims to be able to speak French and impresses the director with his performance. However, the director ultimately decides not to cast either of them for the role."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Merci. Au revoir. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-hah. Toute-de-le-fruit. Ross Geller : Emma's down for the night. Rachel Green : Oh, good. Ross Geller : So uh... I guess I wanna take off. Rachel Green : Okay... Hey listen, just before you go I-I again, I just wanna say \"thank you\" for coming with me. Ross Geller : Oh, no problem. Rachel Green : And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again. Ross Geller : Thank you. I'm glad you agree. Rachel Green : It's a shame though, I mean, when we did it, it was pretty good.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel discuss their previous sexual encounter, with Rachel expressing gratitude for Ross's company and Ross clarifying that he does not want to pursue the topic further."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yeah... Yeah, that's true. Rachel Green : Hey uhm, do you remember that one really great time...? Ross Geller : Oh, ye-ah! Rachel Green : You know it was you're uhm... birthday... Ross Geller : ...Valentine's day... Both : Oh yeah! Rachel Green : Well, I guess that's all in the past, now. Ross Geller : Hmmm-mmmm. Rachel Green : Not even one more time? Ross Geller : Not even once.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel reminisce about a previous romantic moment they shared on Valentine's Day."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No matter how much we want it. Ross Geller : Even if we want it really bad. Rachel Green : That's what we decided. Ross Geller : Uhm, right! Rachel Green : ...It's kinda hard though! Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : You know, when two people have a connection, you know, that's... just seems like such a... waste. Ross Geller : ...I hate waste. Rachel Green : ...Ross? Ross Geller : Yes?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross struggle with their decision to end their relationship despite their strong feelings for each other."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Just so you know... With us... it's never off the table. Ross Geller : Damn it. It's never off the table. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, can you really tapdance? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : It's off the resume. Phoebe Buffay : Archery? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Horseback riding? Joey Tribbiani : Would fall off a lot. Phoebe Buffay : You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have an open relationship, while Joey and Phoebe discuss their skills and interests. Phoebe demonstrates her tap dancing abilities, but Joey admits he can't do it. Phoebe then asks if Joey can horseback ride, to which he replies he would fall off a lot. Finally, Phoebe challenges Joey to drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds, which he fails."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : That I can do. Phoebe Buffay : Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds? Joey Tribbiani : All right, watch me! Okay, you time me. Ready? Phoebe Buffay : Ready... GO! Phoebe Buffay : You did it! Mike Hannigan : Thank you guys for having us over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often. Monica Geller : Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away. Chandler Bing : You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.", "summary": "Joey challenges Phoebe to drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds; Joey successfully completes the challenge; Mike thanks the group for coming over; Phoebe suggests it's fun for couples night; Chandler makes jokes about swinging and scares away the married couples."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey, you guys... I have great news. Monica Geller : Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here. Ross Geller : Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! Guess what happened at work today... Chandler Bing : A dinosaur died a million years ago? Ross Geller : Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Ross Geller : Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid. Rachel Green : Hi you guys. #ALL# : Hey. Rachel Green : Ooh, Italian!", "summary": "Ross has good news about his job review, but interrupts the conversation at a diner where Monica and Chandler are eating. Phoebe joins in and Rachel arrives, mentioning Italian food."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No one wanted seconds, right? Ross Geller : No, no. I-I'm good. Rachel Green : Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me. Ross Geller : I'm up for tenure. Rachel Green : Congratulations! Ross Geller : You too! What are the odds? Rachel Green : Ooh! Joey Tribbiani : Guess what? I finally got that seed out of my teeth. Monica Geller : I don't know who I'm happiest for... Phoebe Buffay : I do, he's been working on that all day!", "summary": "Monica and Rachel discuss a headhunter calling Rachel for a job opportunity with Gucci, while Ross prepares for his tenure review. Joey shares news of finally removing a seed from his teeth, and Phoebe expresses joy at his progress."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing? Monica Geller : No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. Phoebe Buffay : Where did you go to do it? Monica Geller : Uhm the... the ministry... of names... bureau... Chandler Bing : YOU NEVER DID IT! Monica Geller : I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing. Chandler Bing : Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me. Mike Hannigan : Here you go. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name? Mike Hannigan : Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.", "summary": "Monica changes her last name to Geller-Bing after marrying Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, let's see, call me mrs Hannigan. Chandler Bing : Mrs Hannigan? Phoebe Buffay : What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us? Joey Tribbiani : No, thank you. Monica Geller : All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house. Chandler Bing : Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city. Joey Tribbiani : But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map. Monica Geller : Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.", "summary": "Moving to a new house."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN! Chandler Bing : Damn it. Monica Geller : See you guys later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Monica Geller : I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming. Phoebe Buffay : Good for you. That was really mature. Joey Tribbiani : What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here. Mike Hannigan : You're a strange kind of grown-up. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just... Mike Hannigan : Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now?", "summary": "Joey wants to be supportive of his friends by joining them on their move, but only so he can criticize everything wrong with the new house and prevent them from leaving. Phoebe is glad Joey is coming, while Chandler expresses frustration at Joey's constant pestering. Mike adds a strange comment about Phoebe's attempts to get him to do something in bed."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that \"thing\". What is it? Joey Tribbiani : I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! Rachel Green : Hi, I'm here to see mr Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing. Maitre D' : Mr Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table. Rachel Green : Oh my God! That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else. Maitre D' : I'm sorry. That's always mr Campbell's table. Rachel Green : But my... but my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job. Maitre D' : I know. With Gukki. Rachel Green : Sssshhhh!", "summary": "Monica and Chandler love their house, while Joey claims he can convince people to do anything, including getting Mike to do a specific \"thing.\" Rachel attempts to meet with her boss at a restaurant but is unable to due to his table being reserved under a different name."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Zelner : Rachel? Rachel Green : Hi... I'm on a date... Mr. Zelner : That's great! Rachel Green : Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there. Mr. Zelner : Well, you got uhm... good energy. Rachel Green : Oh. Mr. Campbell : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yes, hi! Mr. Campbell : James Campbell... Rachel Green : Hi! Excuse us.", "summary": "Rachel Green is on a date with a man named Mr. Zelner, but she is struggling to balance her single motherhood and career. She mentions how difficult it can be to get out there and meet new people. Meanwhile, another man, James Campbell, approaches Rachel and interrupts her date."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Campbell : Please... Rachel Green : Okay. Oh, yeah... Oh he's cute! Mr. Campbell : So... your resume is quite impressive. Rachel Green : Wha... My resume? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resume. Mr. Campbell : Dating profile? I-I-I'm talking about the work resume. Rachel Green : Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? Huh? Mr. Campbell : Maybe people... found it weird.... So, why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren? Rachel Green : What? I-I don't. Mr. Campbell : You don't? Rachel Green : No, I-I-I love it there.", "summary": "Rachel Green is interviewing for a job at Mr. Campbell's company, but the conversation quickly derails as they discuss online dating profiles and singing for no reason. Rachel insists she loves her current job at Ralph Lauren, but Mr. Campbell presses her for reasons why she wants to leave."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Campbell : Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch? Mr. Campbell : What? Mr. Campbell : That's Hugo Boss? Phoebe Buffay : This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. But you obviously haven't. Clerk : How can I help you? Phoebe Buffay : I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. You're fun. Clerk : You need to fill out this form. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay? Clerk : It can be anything you want. Phoebe Buffay : Well, not anything, I mean...", "summary": "Buffay and Campbell have lunch while Buffay is hiding from the law. The clerk helps Buffay change her name but Buffay is unsure of how to fill out the form."}
-{"dialogues": "Clerk : Yeah... anything. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this could take a while. Clerk : Get out of my line. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, not anymore. I changed it today. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry, mrs Hannigan. Phoebe Buffay : Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock. Chandler Bing : That's what we were gonna name the baby.", "summary": "Princess Consuela Banana Hammock"}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Uh! Princess Consuela. Monica Geller : You seriously changed your name to that? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Monica Geller : Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela? Phoebe Buffay : Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie. Chandler Bing : Hey, how'd the interview go? Rachel Green : Oh! It's not good. Chandler Bing : You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think. Rachel Green : Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.", "summary": "Princess Consuela (formerly Phoebe Buffay) changes her name to Valerie after an unspecified event. Monica Geller jokingly suggests that everyone refer to her as Princess Consuela instead of Valerie. Rachel Green fails to get a job at Gucci and is fired from Ralph Lauren."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That is a bad interview. Phoebe Buffay : What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen? Rachel Green : Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said \"Wait a minute! Yes I am.\" and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true. Monica Geller : Oh God. I'm so sorry. Ross Geller : Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here? Phoebe Buffay : Ross... Ross Geller : I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE! #ALL# : Congratulations! Ross Geller : This is the single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, six glasses! Gunther : Six? You want me to join you?", "summary": "Ross gets tenure and celebrates with champagne. Chandler has a bad interview and gets rejected, while Phoebe and Rachel try to figure out how it happened. Monica offers support."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow. Chandler Bing : Ooh! Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla! Ross Geller : I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go? Rachel Green : Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days. Ross Geller : Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it. Phoebe Buffay : Can you? Rachel Green : Ah, all right. Here's to Ross! Ross Geller : And-and to years of hard work finally paying off. Phoebe Buffay : And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. Ross Geller : But also knowing it means a lot.", "summary": "Ross gets confused and thinks Joey is present; five is good, but he will have loogies in his coffee tomorrow. Israeli champagne is mentioned, as is vanilla. Ross got tenure but did not win the lottery, asking Rachel about how her thing went. Rachel says it was good but won't hear back for a couple of days. Ross believes he can feel something, and Phoebe agrees. The group raises their glasses in a toast."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : But more importantly to full well-rounded lives. Ross Geller : ...that center around work. Chandler Bing : To Ross! #ALL# : Ross! Ross Geller : You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God! Ross Geller : No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me. Rachel Green : No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job. Ross Geller : Rach, I'm so sorry. Rachel Green : Oh!", "summary": "Ross gets job security for life after realizing he can never be fired. Rachel gets fired and doesn't get the other job she was hoping for."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Great. I feel like an idiot. Rachel Green : No, it's okay, you didn't know. Ross Geller : Oh... Little heads-up would have been nice. Monica Geller : Thank you for letting us see the house again. Chandler Bing : And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you. Realtor : Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. Monica Geller : Ah, so glad you decided to come. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel visit a house they are interested in buying, but Ross feels embarrassed after realizing he didn't know some basic information about the process. Monica thanks Ross for giving them another chance to see the house, while Chandler explains what \"escrow\" means despite quickly forgetting. The Realtor encourages them to take their time, and Joey expresses his excitement for the couple's new home while joking about the presence of fungus in the property."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason. Monica Geller : Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. Monica Geller : No it's not! Joey Tribbiani : Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner! Chandler Bing : When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter. Monica Geller : Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here. Joey Tribbiani : FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...", "summary": "Monica and Joey are looking at a new apartment, but Joey is not impressed. He thinks it's dark and has a bat in the corner. Chandler makes a joke about Joey's head hitting a mailbox when he was hanging out the window. Monica tries to reassure Joey that they love the apartment, but he is unconvinced."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Joey, we know that's you. Joey Tribbiani : no... hmmmmm... it's not... hmmmmmmmmmm. Mike Hannigan : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Welcome back! Mike Hannigan : Ah! I missed you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, me too! Mike Hannigan : So, what's new? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay. Mike Hannigan : That's great! You changed you name? Phoebe Buffay : Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock!", "summary": "Monica and Joey suspect that a man disguised as Joey is in their apartment. When they confront him, he denies it and claims to be someone else. Mike returns and joins in the conversation, before Phoebe reveals that she has changed her name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : You're kidding right? Phoebe Buffay : Nope. Mike Hannigan : You really did that? Phoebe Buffay : Yep. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, but you can't do that. Phoebe Buffay : Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it. Mike Hannigan : Alright, then I'm gonna change my name. Phoebe Buffay : Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to? Mike Hannigan : Crap Bag. Phoebe Buffay : Mike Crap Bag?", "summary": "Mike and Phoebe have a conversation about changing their names. Mike suggests the name \"Crap Bag\" as an alternative to Phoebe's unique name."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag. Phoebe Buffay : You're not serious, right? Mike Hannigan : Yeah, I'm serious. It's fun, it's different and no-one else has a name like that! Phoebe Buffay : Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it. Mike Hannigan : I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela. Phoebe Buffay : And I love Crap. Joey Tribbiani : Ow! Girl : Who are you? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you? Girl : I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.", "summary": "Mike Hannigan wants to buy a house with his friend Phoebe Buffay, but he insists on being called \"Crap Bag\" as his name. Phoebe is skeptical but eventually agrees. Meanwhile, Joey Tribbiani enters the scene and is introduced to Mackenzie, who is also buying a house."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Mackenzie : I hate my parents. Joey Tribbiani : I hate my friends. Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening. Mackenzie : Like what? Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted! Mackenzie : What are you? Eight? Joey Tribbiani : Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea. Mackenzie : I don't have any great ideas. I am eight. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean? Mackenzie : I really don't.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Mackenzie are trying to stop their parents from selling their house, which they claim is haunted. They come up with a plan to scare off potential buyers by pretending the house is haunted, but Mackenzie is skeptical and uncooperative."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends. Mackenzie : My parents say I'm gonna make new friends. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways. Mackenzie : This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. Look, you want your friends to be happy, right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, I guess. Mackenzie : Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, maybe. Mackenzie : Then you gotta let them go. Joey Tribbiani : I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart? Mackenzie : I read a lot.", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is struggling with the idea of moving away from his friends and starting over in a new place. Mackenzie, a young girl who is also facing a similar situation, offers words of encouragement and advice, urging Joey to let go of his fears and embrace change. Through their conversation, it becomes clear that Mackenzie has learned valuable lessons from her own experiences and is determined to help Joey navigate this challenging time in his life."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Just when I thought we could be friends. Man : Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry. Rachel Green : Oh, thank you... Man : You still don't know my name, do you? Rachel Green : Well, now I don't have to. Rachel Green : Ross, what is taking you so long? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, it's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway! Mark Robinson : Rachel? Rachel Green : Mark? Oh my God! Mark Robinson : How've you been?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel run into each other at the coffee shop, where they are joined by Joey, who is disappointed that Ross doesn't remember his name. The conversation turns to a discussion of Ross's delay in leaving, leading to a reveal of Mark's presence in the scene."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm fantastic. You remember Ross? Mark Robinson : Sure, sure. What's with the chair. Ross Geller : Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... Mark Robinson : Clever. So how are you? Rachel Green : Oh, well, you're not catching me on my best day. Mark Robinson : Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't exactly say big promotion. Rachel Green : No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work. Mark Robinson : Are you sure, because we may have something at Louis Vuitton. Rachel Green : Well, screw charity work. What've you got? Mark Robinson : Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it?", "summary": "Rachel Green is having a bad day and mentions that she has a new job at a department store, but then changes her mind when Mark Robinson offers her a job at Louis Vuitton. They make plans to have dinner and discuss further."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Great! I'll call ya! Mark Robinson : Nice to see you. Ross Geller : Yeah! yeah, I got tenure! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Ross Geller : See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before? Rachel Green : Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him. Ross Geller : That is Mark? Rachel Green : Yes. Ross Geller : I hate that guy. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel run into an old colleague, Mark Robinson, at Central Perk. Ross reveals he has finally obtained tenure, much to Rachel's surprise and delight. However, their reunion is marred by Ross's lingering jealousy towards Mark, whom he had previously been envious of due to his successful career at Bloomingdales."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him. Rachel Green : What? You don't want me to get a job? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his SEXretary. Rachel Green : Ugh. Ross Geller : I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay? Rachel Green : Ross, you know what? Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. Monica Geller : Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences. Chandler Bing : Man, those two dogs are going at it! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey.", "summary": "Ross doesn't want Rachel to go to dinner with a guy he doesn't trust, and Monica loves the street they are on while Chandler and Joey observe two dogs fighting."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Hey, where have you been? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great. Chandler Bing : Really? What changed your mind? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. Chandler Bing : Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Ha! I'm just messing with you. Joey Tribbiani : That's not funny! You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts! Monica Geller : Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room? Joey Tribbiani : What? I get my own room?", "summary": "Joey sees a house and thinks it's great, but Chandler tells him the little girl who used to live there died 30 years ago. Joey is scared of ghosts, so Chandler teases him. Monica offers to show Joey his room, but he gets excited about having his own space."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room do you? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing? Chandler Bing : No! Joey Tribbiani : Why not? I'll keep the tank clean. Mike Hannigan : After you, miss Banana Hammock. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you, mister Bag. Woman : Oh hey, how are you? Phoebe Buffay : Oh hi Rita! Good! Oh, Rita's a massage client. Mike Hannigan : Oh! Why don't you introduce me? Phoebe Buffay : Er, Rita, this is my husband.", "summary": "Chandler and Joey want to buy a house with a \"Joey room.\" Joey asks for an aquarium and a sex swing, but Chandler says no. Mike and Phoebe enter the conversation, with Mike making a comment about Rita being a massage client and Phoebe introducing Rita as her husband."}
-{"dialogues": "Rita : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Mike Hannigan : Why don't you tell her my name? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I will. This is my husband Crap Bag. Rita : Crap Bag? Mike Hannigan : If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap. Rita : Okay. Excuse me... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again? Mike Hannigan : Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan?", "summary": "Buffay and Hannigan are married, but Buffay has trouble remembering her husband's name. Hannigan makes a joke about it, leading to further confusion and playful banter between the two."}
-{"dialogues": "Mike Hannigan : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan Banana Hammock. Mike Hannigan : Do you even know what a banana hammock is? Phoebe Buffay : It's a funny word. Mike Hannigan : It's a Speedo. Phoebe Buffay : ...Oh crap! Ross Geller : Hey, is Rachel here? Monica Geller : No. Ross Geller : She's still at dinner? Monica Geller : I guess. Why? Who's she with?", "summary": "Phoebe and Mike have a conversation about her last name, which leads to a discussion about funny words. Ross enters the conversation and asks if Rachel is present, to which Monica responds that she is not."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her. Chandler Bing : It's seven years ago. My time machine works! Ross Geller : We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants. Monica Geller : So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute. Chandler Bing : Excuse me? Monica Geller : Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time. Chandler Bing : For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents. Monica Geller : Oh, sorry! Rachel Green : Hi you guys! Ross Geller : Hey, so uhm... How was dinner?", "summary": "Ross suspects that Mark from Bloomingdale's has ulterior motives when he expresses interest in Rachel, while Chandler tries to defend his own wandering eyes. Monica defends Rachel and Chandler, while Rachel herself enters the conversation unexpectedly."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet. Ross Geller : Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want? Rachel Green : Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins. Ross Geller : Should we send something? Chandler Bing : How did the job stuff go? Rachel Green : He offered me one. Chandler Bing : That's great! Ross Geller : Congratulations! Rachel Green : I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great... Ross Geller : Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.", "summary": "Rachel gets a job offer and is excited, while Ross is skeptical and jealous."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : The job is in Paris. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies? Mackenzie : I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey bear, I need some career advice. Chandler Bing : How did the job stuff go? Rachel Green : He offered me one. Ross Geller : You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest. Rachel Green : The job is in Paris. FADE OUT. Rachel Green : Oh, God! Please, somebody say something. Ross Geller : So if you take this job you'll be moving to Paris?", "summary": "Rachel Green was offered a job in Paris, but Joey Tribbiani is unsure if he's missing out on opportunities as a serious actor. Chandler Bing asks for career advice from Joey's bear, while Ross Geller offers Israeli wine to celebrate the news."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Or facing a bitch of a commute. Rachel Green : I know, it's huge, and it's scary, and it's... really far, far away from you guys, but this is such an incredible opportunity for me. And I've already talked to them about our situation with Emma, and they said they'll do whatever we need to make us feel comfortable. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : I mean, I'll fly back and forth, they'll fly you out... Anything we want. Chandler Bing : My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. Ross Geller : All right, we'll work it out. Rachel Green : Thank you! Thank you! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah! You sure this is what you want? Rachel Green : I think it is. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, what's going on?", "summary": "Rachel gets a job opportunity far away and wants to commute, but her friends are hesitant and worried about the commute."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I got a really incredible job offer. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, great! All right! Phoebe Buffay : Good for you! Rachel Green : It's in Paris. Joey Tribbiani : What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married Congratulations! ... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs... Monica Geller : Hey, this afternoon you said you'd be supportive... Joey Tribbiani : Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it. Rachel Green : Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board. Phoebe Buffay : Of course we can. Congratulations. Yay! Joey... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no. My hugs are reserved for people STAYING IN AMERICA.", "summary": "Rachel Green receives an incredible job offer in Paris, but her friends are hesitant and resistant to the idea of her moving away. Joey Tribbiani is concerned about the change, while Phoebe Buffay congratulates Rachel. Monica Geller tries to be supportive, but Joey remains uncooperative, stating that his hugs are reserved for people staying in America."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Joey, it would mean so... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. Rachel Green : Joey... Phoebe Buffay : You okay with this? Chandler Bing : Well, it makes me feel sad, but... Phoebe Buffay : Talking to Ross. Chandler Bing : I see. Ross Geller : Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this? Monica Geller : I know, but what are we gonna do? She really needs this job. Ross Geller : Do you think if the Ralph Lauren people offered her her old job back, she would take it?", "summary": "Rachel Green considers moving to another country for a job opportunity, and Joey Tribbiani objects. Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay asks Chandler Bing if he's okay with Rachel leaving, and Ross Geller expresses sadness at the prospect of not seeing her every day. Monica Geller suggests that if the Ralph Lauren people offer Rachel her old job back, she might take it."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : How is that gonna happen? Chandler Bing : Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes? Ross Geller : I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off. Monica Geller : You mean the guy who kept calling you Ron? Ross Geller : I didn't say we were brothers. Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't. Chandler Bing : We close escrow tomorrow, so seeing another house can only confuse us, and we're easily confused. We're not very bright. Monica Geller : But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look? Chandler Bing : What do you think Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are confused about their house purchase. Monica wants to see another house that just went on the market, but Chandler is opposed. Ross met the boss of the potential buyer at a Christmas party and thinks he can help negotiate a deal. Phoebe has unrelated fashion advice and mentions Joey's agent Estelle Leonard."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : She died. Chandler Bing : You're kidding! Monica Geller : That's terrible! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she was just an agent. Monica Geller : Joey's gonna be *so* upset. Chandler Bing : I know. *He* always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic. Phoebe Buffay : Well, we cannot tell Joey about this. He's already flipping out about everything that's changing. This will push him over the edge.", "summary": "Black man flew solo across Atlantic; Joey wants to be first black man to fly solo across Atlantic."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Seriously, you don't think we should tell him? Phoebe Buffay : Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else. Monica Geller : What if he reads it in the paper? Chandler Bing : Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay. Mr. Zelner : May I help you? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Green's. Uhm, actually we met at the Christmas party about two years ago. Mr. Zelner : Oh right, uhm, Don? Ross Geller : Close. Ron. Mr. Zelner : Uh... What can I do for you? Ross Geller : Uhm, well... I'm here to see if you'll give Rachel her job back.", "summary": "Ross tries to get Rachel's old job back from Mr. Zelner, but Mr. Zelner has no idea who Ross is or what he wants."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Zelner : Ah, did she ask you to come here and do this? Ross Geller : Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back. Mr. Zelner : Wow, that is tempting. Ross Geller : Look, she loved her job here. And let's face it: you're not gonna find anyone who did it as well as she did it. Isn't that true? Mr. Zelner : She is good! Ross Geller : Huh, I took a shot there. Mr. Zelner : But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do. Ross Geller : I see... Thanks very much. Is this your son? Mr. Zelner : Yeah, his name is Ross. What? Ross Geller : Oh, nothing, it's just, it's close to Ron. Does he.. Does little Ross like dinosaurs by any chance?", "summary": "Plot Summary: The conversation revolves around a man named Mr. Zelner and his former employee, who was fired from her job at a company. Ross Geller, a friend of the former employee, tries to convince Mr. Zelner to rehire her, citing her exceptional work and the difficulty of finding someone else who can do the job as well. Mr. Zelner is initially hesitant but eventually agrees to consider the idea."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Zelner : Yeah, they're all he talks about, why? Ross Geller : How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. . I just heard it as you must have heard it and that's not good. Let me start again. I'm a paleontologist, you'll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones... fossils! Mr. Zelner : You can really arrange that? Ross Geller : You let Rachel come back, and it's done. Mr. Zelner : Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Ross Geller : Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life. Mr. Zelner : That's great. I worry about little Ross. He's always reading, he's collecting rocks and he's obsessed with dinosaurs. Ross Geller : He'll be fine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Everything ok?", "summary": "Mr. Zelner is excited about a trip to the Museum of Natural History with Ross, who offers to bring him back after everyone else has left so they can spend time together and Mr. Zelner can touch anything he wants (fossils). Ross makes arrangements for Rachel to return and joins in on the excitement."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm just mad at my agent. Phoebe Buffay : Estelle? Why? Joey Tribbiani : There's a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn't even be put up for it! She'd better have a good reason. Phoebe Buffay : I'm guessing she does. Joey Tribbiani : Well I'm wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this. Phoebe Buffay : Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason. Joey Tribbiani : I love that saying! . Joey Tribbiani : Hello?", "summary": "Joey is mad at his agent because she didn't submit him for a part in a TV movie he would have been perfect for. Phoebe tries to get him to wait before calling her, promising that a promise between friends means never having to give a reason."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Joey, it's Estelle. Joey Tribbiani : I was just gonna call you! That's weird. Phoebe Buffay : It's a little coincidental, but believable. . Listen, I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't get you an audition for that TV movie. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, actually I am! Phoebe Buffay : I guess I dropped the ball there. Whoopsie! Joey Tribbiani : That's it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball. Phoebe Buffay : Don't take that tone with me. Who you think you are? Alan Lemond, the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, look. All I'm saying is that you're my agent, ok? And you're not getting me into any auditions and I'm tired of it. Phoebe Buffay : What are you saying? Joey Tribbiani : I'm saying that... . This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you're fired. Goodbye. .", "summary": "Joey Tribbiani is unhappy with his agent, Phoebe Buffay, as she did not secure him an audition for a TV movie despite promising to do so. They exchange snarky remarks and Joey ultimately decides to fire her."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Man, tough week for Estelle! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can't sleep without it. Rachel Green : Oh, well, she's asleep now. Stop forcing that thing on her. Ross Geller : Ok. Rachel Green : Oh, you're not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back! Ross Geller : Nooo! Rachel Green : Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me. Ross Geller : So, you're not going to Paris.", "summary": "Estelle had a tough week, Emma left her stuffed t-rex at Ross's house, and Rachel got her job back at Ralph Lauren after being fired and then rehired."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, I'm still going. Ross Geller : Wh... wh...what? Rachel Green : When the Louis Vuitton people found out that Ralph Lauren wanted me back, the offered me more money! Isn't that great? Ross Geller : Yeeeah! Monica Geller : Hi. We're buying the house next door, and we were wondering if we could just take a look around. Lady : Oh, sure. I'm showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around. Monica Geller : Thanks. Chandler Bing : It feels like we're cheating on our house. And if we're gonna cheat, shouldn't it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won't do? Monica Geller : Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole! Lady : So? What do you think?", "summary": "Rachel Green accepts a job offer from Louis Vuitton after Ralph Lauren wants her back. Ross Geller expresses excitement and Monica Geller and Chandler Bing look at a new house next door."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Love it! Lady : Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one. Monica Geller : They could be our neighbors, what are they like? Lady : Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she... Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh my God! . Chandler Bing : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey, want come with me to... are you ok? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I just... I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her. Phoebe Buffay : No, that wouldn't kill her. Ordinary embolism might. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. She's got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I'm guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she's not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I'm gonna call her and hire her again.", "summary": "Lady has an offer on the apartment and thinks the upstairs neighbor may make another offer. Monica Geller is curious about their neighbors, who are a nice couple with two kids. Janice Litman Goralnik overhears the conversation and expresses surprise. Chandler Bing offers to help Joey Tribbiani with his agent problem, but Joey is concerned about hurting Estelle's feelings. Phoebe Buffay suggests hiring Estelle again, despite her poor performance as an agent."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because patience is the road to understanding which ... is the key... to a happy heart. Joey Tribbiani : You blow me away. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you? Joey Tribbiani : I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. Janice Litman Goralnik : What a small world! Chandler Bing : And yet I never run into Beyonce! Realtor : You two know each other? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! . So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie.", "summary": "Phoebe and Joey discuss the importance of patience in relationships, with Phoebe claiming that waiting for someone to call you is the key to a happy heart. Meanwhile, Janice reenters the scene and catches up with Chandler, revealing that she used to be his girlfriend before he married Monica. The group considers purchasing a new house together, leading to a potential bidding war between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Don't, don't! Monica Geller : No, actually, we're buying the house next door. Chandler Bing : Why!? Monica Geller : I don't know why. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. Chandler Bing : This can not be happening! Monica Geller : Okay, the realtor said another couple made an offer. Maybe the Janice's won't get it! Maybe the other couple will. Chandler Bing : The only way that that is going to happen, is if the other couple are the Hitlers. Monica Geller : Okay, Okay, All right. What if we got both houses? Huh? We can turn this house into a guest house. Chandler Bing : That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!?", "summary": "The conversation revolves around Monica and Chandler's decision to buy a house next door to their current residence. Janice joins in, expressing excitement about having them as neighbors. The group discusses the possibility of buying both houses and turning one into a guest house. Chandler is shocked by the amount of money being spent and questions when Janice started \"crap[ping] money.\""}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Okay, you come up with an idea. Chandler Bing : Alright alright, we still have three hours till escrow closes on our house. We can still get out. Monica Geller : But we love our house. Chandler Bing : Will we love it so much with her next door? And she's gonna be louder out here too. Just the crickets and \"Oh My God\"! Monica Geller : Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. Chandler Bing : Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. Oh, that does it too. Mr. Zelner : Who is it? Ross Geller : It's me. Ron. Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back. Mr. Zelner : This may surprise you, but re-hiring fired employees, is not my main job. Ross Geller : Just hear me out. How would you feel about offering her a raise?", "summary": "Chandler and Monica are trying to sell their house, but they are worried about the potential neighbor who will be loud and annoying. They discuss their options and consider re-hiring Rachel, who turned them down before, but with a raise this time."}
-{"dialogues": "Mr. Zelner : Not good, Ron. Ross Geller : Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this genuine pterodactyl egg replica. Mr. Zelner : Wow, that's pretty cool. Ross Geller : Huh? So? We have a deal? Mr. Zelner : Okay, you got it. Ross Geller : Yes! yes! Mr. Zelner : This is gonna make me very popular. Ross Geller : Oh, Believe me, the ladies, they love it! Mr. Zelner : I meant with my son. Ross Geller : Good, 'cause the ladies, not so much.", "summary": "Mr. Zelner is hesitant to give his son a pterodactyl egg replica, but Ross convinces him to do so by highlighting its uniqueness and potential popularity among his peers."}
-{"dialogues": "Answering Machine : Joey, this is Al T. Booker, the guy who eats paper. I'm sure you've heard that Estelle passed away. I wanted to let you know there's a memorial for her at the Westside chapel, tomorrow at ten. Hope you can make it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Joey, it's Estelle. Joey Tribbiani : Estelle? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me. Joey Tribbiani : Ok-ay. I just, I can't believe you're calling me? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I didn't think I should just drop by... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! Don't drop by, don't drop by! Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, you did what you had to do. I'm okay. Joey Tribbiani : Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?", "summary": "Joey receives a call from Al T. Booker, informing him of Estelle's passing and a memorial service the next day. Phoebe calls Joey unexpectedly to clear up any misunderstandings after being fired."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : It's alright. Look kiddo, I gotta go. Good luck with the career. You're gonna be huge. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks for everything Estelle. Bye. \"out of area\". Boy, I'll say. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well... I just talked to Sid, we are definitely putting in an offer on the house... a-a-and I'll bet we get it. Chandler Bing : The Hitlers will be so disappointed. Janice Litman Goralnik : All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. Chandler Bing : Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, me too... Chandler Bing : Because... that way... we can pick up where we left off. Janice Litman Goralnik : Huh? Chandler Bing : I never stopped loving you.", "summary": "Phoebe Buffay is leaving and Joey Tribbiani thanks her for everything before she goes. Janice Litman Goralnik and Chandler Bing discuss a house they are interested in buying, but Chandler is disappointed that the Hitlers will not be happy about it. Janice plans to say goodbye to Monica and Chandler expresses his happiness that she will be living nearby so they can pick up where they left off."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh... my... Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler, what are you talking about? Chandler Bing : Now that you live next door, we can be together every day. Sid and Monica never have to know a thing. Janice Litman Goralnik : I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us. Chandler Bing : Obviously. Janice Litman Goralnik : But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now. Chandler Bing : Don't say that. Don't tangle the dream and take it away. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler, one of us has got to be strong. Chandler Bing : I understand.", "summary": "Chandler and Janice have a secret attraction to each other, but they are both married to other people. They live next door to each other and fantasize about being together every day. However, they know they can't act on their desires without hurting their spouses or destroying their relationships. They struggle with the temptation and try to resist each other, but their feelings for each other remain strong."}
-{"dialogues": "Janice Litman Goralnik : Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... Goodbye Chandler Bing. Chandler Bing : They're never coming down now. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : You are never going to believe what happened to me today. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Ralph Lauren called again and they offered me more money. Ross Geller : They did? Rachel Green : Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in. Ross Geller : So, what are you gonna do?", "summary": "Rachel receives a call from Ralph Lauren offering her more money, and Zelner also calls her with the same offer. Rachel is unsure of what to do."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I took it. Ross Geller : That's great! So you're staying in New York! Both : YAY! WHOO! YAY! Ross Geller : You're excited, right? Rachel Green : Ye-ah. Yeah! You know, the money's great. It's certainly the easier choice... Ross Geller : Right! Rachel Green : Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... Ross Geller : Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared. Rachel Green : Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. Ross Geller : You should go.", "summary": "Rachel Green is offered a job in Paris and must decide whether to stay or go back to her previous job. She is excited about the opportunity but also scared. Her friend Ross Geller tries to convince her to take the job, but she ultimately decides to stay in her current position."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : It's what you want. You should go. Rachel Green : You really think so? Ross Geller : I really do. Rachel Green : But I already told Zelner that I would come back... Ross Geller : I'm sure he'll understand. Rachel Green : All right. ALL RIGHT! I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go to Paris. Ross Geller : Yeah... Rachel Green : Yeah! I'm going to Paris. Thank you, Ross! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, oh!", "summary": "Rachel decides to go to Paris after being convinced by Ross."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, I'm so happy. Ross Geller : Then I'm happy too. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. Dude, where's my speech? That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris. Rachel Green : Ok! Can't believe I'm risking this again, but you're on! All right Joe, you remember the rules! Heads I win, tails you lose. Joey Tribbiani : Just flip! Rachel Green : Ha, tails! Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!", "summary": "Rachel and Ross are happy. Joey pays respects to Estelle as her only two clients. Joey forgets his speech, and Rachel agrees to play a game with him again despite their past losses."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : So we thought we'd throw you little going away party around seven. Rachel Green : Oh, that sounds good! Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow, shouldn't you be packing? Rachel Green : It's all done! Monica Geller : Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it. Rachel Green : I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane... Monica Geller : Ok, so you've done some good work! What about your carry-ons? Rachel Green : Oh, well. Everything that I need is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them. Monica Geller : Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! Chandler Bing : Where's your passport?", "summary": "Rachel Green is leaving the next day and her friends are throwing a going away party at 7pm. Monica Geller jokes about Rachel not packing, but Rachel assures her that she has everything done. Monica compliments Rachel on her organizational skills, but then realizes she has nothing left to teach her. Chandler Bing asks for Rachel's passport."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : It should be right next to my plane ticket. Chandler Bing : Well, it's not. Rachel Green : What? Maybe I put it in here . Oh, oh, it's not in there! Oh, no! I must have packed it in one of these boxes! Monica Geller : Here, let me help you. Rachel Green : Shoot. Oh, I can't believe I did this! Chandler Bing : At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport? OPENING SEQUENCE. Monica Geller : Oh, wow, can you believe you're like three weeks away? Erica : I know. Monica Geller : You don't mind me touching your belly, do you? Erica : No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out.", "summary": "Rachel forgets her passport while packing for a trip, leading to a comedic search for it. Meanwhile, Monica is pregnant and preparing for the birth of her child."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey! Erica : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey Erica, welcome back to town! Wow, look how big you've gotten. Erica : That's because I'm pregnant! Ross Geller : Right, no, I understand. Erica : Oh, ok. I'm just always afraid that people think I'm just fat with big breasts. Ross Geller : No, no, I knew . Monica Geller : Okay, well, stop staring at them. Ross Geller : She brought them up! I didn't realize you were coming back so soon! Erica : Hey, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel.", "summary": "Erica returns to town and reveals she is pregnant. She worries people will think she is just fat with big breasts, but Ross knows the truth."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel. Ross Geller : Hotel? Why isn't she staying with you guys? Monica Geller : Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense. Erica : Plus hotels are fun! My room has this little fridge full of free snacks! Ross Geller : Erica, those things aren't free. In fact they have one of the highest mark-ups of any consumer product... Monica Geller : Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants. Erica : I'll be right back. Ross Geller : Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place. Monica Geller : Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name. Ross Geller : No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?", "summary": "Monica and Rachel want Joey to stay with them, but Ross objects because they are moving soon and it doesn't make sense for her to stay with them. Erica offers to let Joey stay in her hotel room, which has a fridge full of free snacks, but Ross points out that the hotels charge high mark-ups for those items. Monica jokes that Joey can eat Ross if she wants, and Ross expresses sadness that they are leaving their apartment behind."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, it takes two incomes. Ross Geller : Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie. Monica Geller : Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room. Ross Geller : Mhm, packing - sexy cheerleader comedy. Monica Geller : Mhm, helpful brother - creepy loner at teen movie. Ross Geller : What are you guys doing? Joey Tribbiani : Try it, I can't feel a thing! Monica Geller : Are, are you kidding? This is packing? Chandler Bing : We're taking a break! Monica Geller : From?", "summary": "Ross and Monica discuss their financial situation and how it takes two incomes to make ends meet. Joey suggests they go see a movie together, but Chandler is not interested. Monica offers to help Chandler and Joey pack up the guest room, but Chandler pretends to be uninterested. Joey tries to act nonchalant as he helps with the packing, while Chandler takes a break."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Jumping on the bed? Monica Geller : All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos! Ross Geller : You got it! . All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him! Chandler Bing : No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs. Joey Tribbiani : You guys hear a ringing? Chandler Bing : What the hell is this? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Handcuffs! And fur line, nice! I didn't know you guys had it in ya! Ross Geller : Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out. Chandler Bing : I didn't know Monica had these! Joey Tribbiani : Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!", "summary": "Ross is in charge of preparing for Rachel's party and Chandler, Joey, and Monica help him get everything ready. They decide to put styrofoam peanuts down Ross's pants and kick him as a prank, but Chandler vetoes the idea. Monica reminds them that they need to work together to get everything done. Joey finds handcuffs and a fur line in the closet, leading to a discussion about Monica's past relationships. Ross is upset that Chandler doesn't have a sister to understand how much it bothers him."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for her... with scarves! Ross Geller : Bumming hard, guys, bumming hard. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Where's Mike? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig. Ross Geller : Yeah? Yeah, where is it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party. Ross Geller : Rock on! Phoebe : Wow, this is quite a spread! What is all this stuff? Monica Geller : Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange. Joey Tribbiani : Hey.", "summary": "Richard and not Chandler (Chandler Bing) despite Chandler's kinkiness (he once did a naked dance with scarves). Monica has food she doesn't want to move to her new house and gives it to the others. Joey enters."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey, where's Rach? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second. Ross Geller : Great. Joey Tribbiani : Now it just hit her that she's leaving and she's kind of emotional so no one say anything to set her off, ok? Monica Geller : Yeah. #ALL# : Hey Rach, hey you. Ross Geller : Here she is! Rachel Green : Hi you guys! Joey Tribbiani : What did I just say?", "summary": "Rachel is leaving and everyone is trying to keep her from getting emotional."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : No, no, no. It's ok. I'm gonna be fine. Monica Geller : Come here, I'll make you a drink. Ross Geller : Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel? Chandler Bing : I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place! Joey Tribbiani : You know, I had a chance to stop her too! Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. Wait a minute... Chandler Bing : Yes, Joe? Joey Tribbiani : I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning! Phoebe Buffay : You doing ok?", "summary": "Rachel Green is leaving and her friends are upset. Monica Geller offers to make her a drink, while Ross Geller struggles with saying goodbye. Chandler Bing compares the situation to the cancellation of Melrose Place, and Joey Tribbiani reveals that he had a chance to stop Rachel from leaving but lost a coin toss. Phoebe Buffay checks in on the group's emotional state."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Well, I've been better. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Rachel Green : You guys are gonna come and visit me, right? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again! Rachel Green : I'm gonna miss you so much. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Rachel Green : You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here . Ross Geller : Hey, what do you think they're doing in there? Joey Tribbiani : Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching. Rachel Green : Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.", "summary": "Rachel will miss Phoebe when she leaves, and Phoebe will be able to travel internationally again in six months."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, but I do have something for you. Rachel Green : Oh, oh. . What is this? Phoebe Buffay : It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs! Rachel Green : I'm gonna throw this away, but thank you so much for the gesture! Monica Geller : Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these on my pillow. Chandler Bing : Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play! Monica Geller : What are you talking about? These aren't mine. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, right! Good luck getting another scarf dance from me! Monica Geller : That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before. Chandler Bing : Really? Then what are they doing in our guestroom?", "summary": "Phoebe gives Rachel a strange gift before she leaves for London - a cotton swab with some of her saliva on it, in case the cloning process is perfected while Rachel is away and they can use the DNA to create a new Phoebe. Monica finds some unusual items on her pillow, leading Chandler to reveal that he left them there for Richard to join in on some bondage and moustache play. However, Monica insists she's never seen the items before."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Rachel used to live in that room. Chandler Bing : Rachel... with handcuffs! Interesting! Monica Geller : Joey's bare ass! Chandler Bing : . Well played. Rachel Green : I love you Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : I love you too. Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! Rachel Green : All right. Well, if I gonna do this, I'd better keep going. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Rachel Green : Ok. Monica? Monica Geller : Yeah?", "summary": "Rachel used to live in a room, Chandler makes a comment about her being handcuffed, Monica mentions Joey's bare butt, Rachel says she loves Phoebe, Phoebe jokes about not turning into a \"French bitch,\" and the group agrees to continue talking."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Can you come here with me for a minute? Monica Geller : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Are you wearing waterproof mascara? Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're so screwed. Ross Geller : Hey. What was that all about? Phoebe Buffay : She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually. Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Oh my God... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying. Ross Geller : Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.", "summary": "Rachel and Monica go through a procedure together; Phoebe teases Rachel about her makeup; Ross interrupts to inquire about what transpired between Phoebe and Rachel; Phoebe jokes that Rachel will be emotionally affected by saying goodbye to each of them individually; and Ross is terrified about how he will react when it's his turn."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me... Monica Geller : I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too. Rachel Green : I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you... Monica Geller : You're the best friend I ever had. Rachel Green :  Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : I... I... I... Monica Geller : That is so sweet. Ross Geller : Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing. Chandler Bing : Uh, Rach?", "summary": "Rachel and Monica express their gratitude towards each other for being like sisters over the past decade. Rachel confesses she wouldn't know what to do without Monica, who reciprocates the sentiment. Ross joins in, feeling left out as he takes pride in being the crier of the group. Chandler interrupts with a non-sequitur comment."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her. Joey Tribbiani : I really made you think about that thing uh? Chandler Bing : Uh, Rach... I think I have something that belongs to you. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sure gonna miss pretending to laugh at your weird jokes that I don't get. Chandler Bing : No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room. Rachel Green : Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with... Chandler Bing : Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they? Rachel Green : Well, I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room. Chandler Bing : Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah!", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss something, while Chandler finds an item belonging to Rachel in her old room. They speculate on who it might belong to, with Rachel insisting it's not hers or Monica's. Phoebe enters and confirms their suspicions."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I think these are yours. Phoebe Buffay : These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice. Rachel Green : Can I talk to you alone for a minute? Chandler Bing : Sure. You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you? Phoebe Buffay : Where do you think Mike really is? Rachel Green : Oh honey... Chandler Bing : Let me just say something... Because once we get into this, I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke... I just want to say that I... I love you... And, I'm gonna miss you. And I'm so sad that you're leaving. Rachel Green : Oh, you know what? Let's not say anything else. I love you. Chandler Bing : Ooh, not so tight... I'm sorry, just give me one more chance. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh...", "summary": "Chandler and Phoebe find a bag of handcuffs and consider using them to hang Mike from a waterpipe, but they realize it would be flimsy and unreliable. Meanwhile, Rachel enters the conversation and reveals that she is leaving, causing Chandler to express his feelings of sadness and loss."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh! Chandler Bing : I'm sor... Just go. Just go. I can't, I can't. Monica Geller : So, I guess you're next. You're ready? Ross Geller : I don't think so. Chandler Bing : Oh, you're definately not. I haven't cried like that in years. Monica Geller : You cried yesterday at the six o'clock news. Chandler Bing : That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic. Ross Geller : God! I can't believe she saved me for last. Why are they taking so long? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well. #ALL# : No, no, no, no!", "summary": "Rachel and Chandler are at a crossroads in their relationship, as Rachel is upset about something and tells Chandler to \"just go.\" Monica and Ross are preparing for their turn, with Ross expressing frustration at the long wait. Phoebe offers some unexpected support for Joey, who is also waiting his turn."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Okay, here we go... Rachel Green : Oh... Well... Ross Geller : Yeah... Rachel Green : I think I'm gonna take off. Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : Oh, you guys. This was an amazing night. Thank you so much. I love you. Good night. Ross Geller : What? I don't get a goodbye? Joey Tribbiani : Lucky bastard! Ross Geller : Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me. Monica Geller : Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history it could be, you know, implicit.", "summary": "Rachel leaves after a great night with Ross saying \"I love you\" and thanks everyone else, leaving Ross out."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Well, it needs to be plicit. Joey Tribbiani : All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad? Ross Geller : No, I don't think so. Phoebe Buffay : You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense. Monica Geller : Yeah. Mine too. Chandler Bing : Mine was a humdinger. Ross Geller : O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? NOT FROM YOU! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her. Monica Geller : And say what? \"You owe me a goodbye\", I mean, he's got more pride than that. Ross Geller : THE HELL I DO!", "summary": "Ross becomes upset when Rachel leaves without saying goodbye, and his friends try to console him by suggesting he talk to her about it."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't get a goodbye? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things. Rachel Green : Ross... Ross Geller : Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. Monica Geller : I hope Ross isn't too upset. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am. Phoebe Buffay : Tell me about it. Chandler Bing : Well, you can't say we don't know how to throw a party. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I think I'm gonna head out.", "summary": "Ross Geller is upset that he didn't get a goodbye from Rachel Green before she left for Paris. He recounts all the times they have been through things together and can't believe this is how she wants to leave things between them."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Uh, where do you think you're going? Phoebe Buffay : I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here. Monica Geller : We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in. Chandler Bing : Joey and I can finish up in the guest room. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, yeah, good idea. Monica Geller : Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here. Chandler Bing : You couldn't be cool. Monica Geller : Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong.", "summary": "Monica and Phoebe are moving in a couple of days and have a lot of packing to do. Chandler and Joey offer to help, but Monica assigns them to finish up in the guest room instead. Monica explains the plan for packing the kitchen, including using plate protectors and bubble wrap for the silverware. She warns the others to be careful and efficient, and reminds them that she will only be harsh with them if they are doing something wrong."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Hey Mon, I think I figured out whose handcuffs they are. Monica Geller : You did? How? Chandler Bing : Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Let me see. Joey Tribbiani : Who's that dirty old lady? Chandler Bing : Monica's grandmother. Monica Geller : Nana liked it rough! Erica : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Come on here, have a seat.", "summary": "Handcuffs are mysterious and Chandler figures out whose they are after finding pictures of them being used. Monica's grandmother was into BDSM."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : How was your night? Erica : Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers. Monica Geller : Erica, are you okay? Erica : Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach aches. They come and go like every few minutes. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Relax! We just get her some antacids. Monica Geller : She doesn't have a stomach ache, she's in labor. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you got to get to the hospital. Monica Geller : All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh!", "summary": "Erica went out with her cousin and had an amazing meal, but now she's experiencing stomach aches. Monica suspects that Erica might be in labor and rushes her to the hospital."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Honey, it's gonna be okay. Erica : You can do this. Just breathe. Monica Geller : Okay, okay... Okay, I feel a little better. Erica : Ooh! Are you sure? Monica Geller : Oh... Yes, I'm sure. Oh honey, let's go. Okay bye everyone. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, wait, wait, wait... Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger. Rachel Green : You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care? Ross Geller : That's what it seemed like.", "summary": "Monica is nervous about a job interview and Chandler tries to comfort her. Erica encourages Monica to breathe and be confident. Joey wants to know where Monica got her cheeseburger. Rachel says she didn't say goodbye to Joey because she doesn't care, and Ross thinks it looked that way."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I cannot believe that after ten years, you do not know ONE thing about me. Ross Geller : Fine, then why didn't you say something? Rachel Green : Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh! Ross Geller : Rach! Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : You keep, you keep... You can't... Rachel Green : WHAT? Joey Tribbiani : A little more. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : A little more, a little more. A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a heart-wrenching goodbye after ten years of not knowing anything about each other. Rachel struggles to express her feelings and reasons for not saying goodbye earlier, while Ross misunderstands her silence."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : All right, ready? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. All right, now give me your best shot. Phoebe Buffay : All right, here it goes... Joey Tribbiani : Doesn't work... Jennifer Aniston : Previously on Friends. Monica Geller : Erica, are you okay? Erica : Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach-aches. They come and go like every few minutes. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Relax! We'll just get her some antacids. Monica Geller : She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor!", "summary": "Monica's sister Erica goes into labor unexpectedly, and the friends rush to help her."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Rachel Green : So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. Ross Geller : Rach! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Shh.. Go back to sleep. I have to go home. Ross Geller : Oh. This was amazing. Rachel Green : It really was. You've learned some new moves! Ross Geller : Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me \"Sex for Dummies\" as a joke. Rachel Green : Ah.", "summary": "Rachel and Ross have a heart-to-heart conversation about their feelings towards each other, with Ross revealing that he has learned some new dance moves. Chandler enters the room and mistakes their conversation for something else."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Who's laughing now? Rachel Green : I know! Monica Geller : Breathe, breathe, breathe... Good. Chandler Bing : Next time, can I say breathe? Monica Geller : No, last time you said it like Dracula, and it scared her! Can I get you anything? You want some more ice chips? Erica : No, I'm okay. Monica Geller : Alright, I'll be right back. Chandler Bing : Where are you going? Monica Geller : To use the bathroom. Chandler Bing : You can't leave me alone with her.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel laugh together, but Monica interrupts to remind them to breathe. Chandler offers to say \"breathe\" next time, but Monica reminds him of his previous awkward delivery and suggests he not try it again. Erica declines more ice chips, and Monica leaves to use the bathroom. Chandler expresses concern about being left alone with Erica."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with! Monica Geller : What kind of social situation are you comfortable with? Chandler Bing : It's just that we've never spent any time, you know, alone together. Monica Geller : You'll be fine. Nah, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : So, ah... Any plans for the summer? Erica : I don't know. Maybe church-camp? Chandler Bing : Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts? Erica : What?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are uncomfortable with each other in a social setting. They discuss their discomfort and Chandler brings up the idea of spending time alone together. Erica joins the conversation and mentions going to church camp during the summer. Chandler makes an awkward joke about childbirth versus getting kicked in the nuts."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : Well, it's just interesting. You know, because no one will ever know, because no one can experience both. Chandler Bing : One of life's great, unanswerable questions. I mean, who knows? Maybe there's something even more painful than those things? Like this. Phoebe Buffay : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : What's that? Joey Tribbiani : It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : It's a baby chick and duck! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. Phoebe Buffay : I did not see that coming. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.", "summary": "Chandler ponders a life-long question with no answer, while Phoebe surprises Joey with unexpected housewarming gifts for Monica and Chandler."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there. Phoebe Buffay : That is the rule, though. Phoebe Buffay : Guess what? You're almost an uncle! Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and I have a definite feeling it's gonna be a girl. Ross Geller : Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl. Phoebe Buffay : Have you seen him throw a ball?", "summary": "Plot Summary: A baby is on the way and everyone is excited except for Phoebe who is skeptical of their predictions based on Joey's throwing skills."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Is Rachel here? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you. Ross Geller : Uh, we, y'know, we worked things out. Phoebe Buffay : What's that smile? Did something happen with you two? Ross Geller : Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. You and Rachel? Ross Geller : I know, it's pretty great. Joey Tribbiani : So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together? Ross Geller : Oh, I.. I don't know. We didn't really get to talk. Phoebe Buffay : But do you wanna get back together?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel had sex last night but she's still asleep. Joey teases Ross about it. Ross and Phoebe discuss their recent conversation with Rachel, who seemed upset with Ross. Joey asks if Ross and Rachel are getting back together, but Ross is unsure."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't know. It was incredible. I mean, it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. You know what? Yeah, I do. I wanna be together. Phoebe Buffay : YAY! Ross Geller : Shhh! Phoebe Buffay : Yay! Joey Tribbiani : So, so is she still going to Paris? Ross Geller : Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! \"Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes...\" Rachel Green : Morning! Phoebe Buffay : Guess we'll never know how it ends. Joey Tribbiani : Okay.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe share a romantic moment, while Joey and Monica discuss Paris and babies. The group reminisces about their past adventures, including Chandler and Monica's upcoming baby. Rachel enters and the conversation continues, ultimately left unresolved."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. How did you sleep? Rachel Green : Good. You? Ross Geller : Good. Joey Tribbiani : I bet you did! Ross Geller : Uh. Would you guys mind giving us a minute? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck? Rachel Green : Chick and the duck? Didn't they die... Phoebe Buffay : Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel have a brief conversation about their sleep before Ross asks for a moment alone with Joey and Phoebe. Joey teases Ross about sleeping with Rachel, leading to an awkward exchange."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : So... Ross Geller : Morning. Rachel Green : You too. Last night was just wonderful. Ross Geller : It really was. Rachel Green : I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face. Ross Geller : I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. Monica Geller : It's just a little bit more, honey. Erica : Help me! This hurts! Chandler Bing : Is it really that bad?", "summary": "Ross and Rachel share a romantic night together before she leaves for Paris. They both wake up with big smiles on their faces, reflecting on how perfect the goodbye was."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse! Doctor : The baby's head is crowning. Monica Geller : Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this! Chandler Bing : I'm okay. Monica Geller : Chandler, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child! It's the miracle of life! Chandler Bing : Alright. Wow, that is one disgusting miracle. Doctor : Start pushing. Here we go. Here come the shoulders... Monica Geller : It's a... It's a boy! Chandler Bing : Wow! Erica : Is he okay?", "summary": "Baby is born."}
-{"dialogues": "Doctor : He's just fine. Monica Geller : Oh, you did it! Chandler Bing : It's a baby! A beautiful little baby! And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see. Doctor : Would you like to cut the umbilical cord? Chandler Bing : Well, that's spongy. Monica Geller : Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! Oh, we are so lucky! Chandler Bing : I know. He has your eyes. Chandler Bing : I mean, I know that's not possible, but he does. Nurse : We'll just get him cleaned up a bit. Chandler Bing : Okay.", "summary": "The baby is born and Chandler pretends not to see Monica and the doctor cutting the umbilical cord. Monica is overjoyed and exclaims that she will love the baby so much no woman will be good enough for him. The doctor then cleans the baby up."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much. Erica : I'm really happy for you guys. Chandler Bing : How do you feel? Erica : I'm tired! Doctor : Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute. Monica Geller : I... I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now? Doctor : The next baby should be along in a minute. Monica Geller : We only ordered one! Doctor : You know it's twins, right? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!", "summary": "Twins!"}
-{"dialogues": "Doctor : I can't believe you didn't know it's twins! This has never happened before. Chandler Bing : Well, gosh. That makes me feel so special and good. Monica Geller : Wait, did you know it was twins? Doctor : Yeah, it's here in the paperwork we got from the clinic in Ohio. Monica Geller : Anybody tell you? Erica : I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby. Monica Geller : This is unbelievable. Erica : Twins actually run in my family. Chandler Bing : Interesting! Can I see you for a second? Chandler Bing : What do we do?", "summary": "Twins"}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : What do you mean \"what do we do\"? Chandler Bing : Twins! Twins!! Monica Geller : Chandler, you're panicking! Chandler Bing : Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?! Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one? Monica Geller : We can't split them up! Chandler Bing : Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody. Monica Geller : Okay, what if the person who adopts the other one is horrible? Chandler Bing : What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king? Monica Geller : Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt. Chandler Bing : Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Monica discover they are having twins and debate over what to do with them, including splitting them up or giving each one half of a medallion that will reunite them later in life."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of \"Eight is Enough\" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children! Chandler Bing : Okay. Shhh... Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Doctor : It looks like we're about ready over here. Doctor : Come on, Erica, start pushing again now. Erica : Ow! Doctor : Here she comes! Chandler Bing : She? It's a girl?", "summary": "Monica and Chandler adopt three babies."}
-{"dialogues": "Doctor : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Well, now we have one of each! And that's enough! Ross Geller : And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! What did you say? Ross Geller : Nothing! What do you say to that? Phoebe Buffay : Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel! Ross Geller : No way! Joey Tribbiani : You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do? Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.", "summary": "Ross wants to tell Rachel how he feels about her but is hesitant; Chandler and Joey have a new friend each; Phoebe encourages Ross to express his feelings."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go. Ross Geller : You really think so? Phoebe Buffay : I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. \"Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam...\" Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Can't a girl finish a song around here? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! So I just dropped Emma off at my mom's. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight? Rachel Green : No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday.", "summary": "Ross wants to get back together with Rachel but she doesn't know about his feelings. Phoebe convinces him to be more direct and sing a song to win her over. Meanwhile, Joey and Rachel discuss Emma's trip to Paris and Rachel's plans to set up their apartment beforehand."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Wow, eight hour flight with a one-year old? Good luck, mom. Rachel Green : Are you kidding? Eight hours with my mother talking about Atkins? Good luck, Emma! Ross Geller : Alright, you know what? You're right. I should at least tell her how I feel. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, wait! Ross Geller : What? What? Joey Tribbiani : Could you get me a muffin? Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Gunther : I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you. Gunther : I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know.", "summary": "Ross tries to express his feelings to Joey, who interrupts him, and then Gunther confesses his love for Rachel before she leaves on an eight-hour flight with her mother."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a cafe, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw. Rachel Green : Oh... Bye guys. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Unbelievable! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know what might help? Ross Geller : I'm not getting you a muffin! Monica Geller : Do you think they recognize each other from in there? Chandler Bing : Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet. Nurse : We're going to take Erica to recovery now. Monica Geller : There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.", "summary": "Rachel and Gunther share a moment of connection, while Ross and Phoebe react in disbelief. Joey suggests a muffin might help, but Ross refuses. Monica and Chandler have a secret to share about their baby's name."}
-{"dialogues": "Erica : Oh my God, that's just like my name! Monica Geller : Son of a gun, it is! Erica : Anyway, I'm gonna go and get some rest. I'm really glad I picked you guys. You're gonna make great parents. Even Chandler. Monica Geller : Okay, well, bye! Erica : Bye! Chandler Bing : Bye! Monica Geller : We'll call you! Erica : Okay. Chandler Bing : Have fun at church-camp! Monica Geller : Oh, look at these little bunnies!", "summary": "Erica discovers that her name is the same as a character from Friends, and she meets the show's characters while at camp."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I know! You ready to trade? Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Alright, let's see.. Chandler Bing : We could trade later. Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm good. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what are you working on? Joey Tribbiani : It's a... It's a \"welcome home\" sign for the baby. Phoebe Buffay : How sweet! Oh, is that the baby? Joey Tribbiani : No, I sat in the paint.", "summary": "Monica and Chandler are ready to trade something, but they don't specify what. Phoebe joins them and asks about their work, while Joey is working on a \"welcome home\" sign for the baby (which is not actually the baby)."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel? Ross Geller : No, and I'm not going to. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Ross Geller : Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun. Phoebe Buffay : How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way. You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night. Ross Geller : Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes... Phoebe Buffay : Uh, Joe?", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe discuss his attempt to reconcile with Rachel after their breakup, with Ross feeling discouraged by her continued interest in him despite his efforts to move on."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Damn it! Ross Geller : Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time. Phoebe Buffay : No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers! Mike Hannigan : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! What do you have there? Mike Hannigan : Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but.. Ross Geller : Oh my God! You did that yourself? Phoebe Buffay : Honey, that's gorgeous! Joey Tribbiani : You know, the baby can't read, Mike! Rachel Green : Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss Ross's reluctance to tell Rachel about her upcoming trip to Paris, while Phoebe and Mike argue over hot guys in Paris. Meanwhile, Rachel rushes to catch her flight and Chandler and Monica arrive at the airport."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Hi! Oh my gosh! Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so what is the big surprise? Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Oh my God!", "summary": "Monica called from a cab and said there's a surprise. Phoebe asked if Monica sounded happy about it, then shared that her friend Ethel's baby was born with a tiny beard. Rachel and Ross both reacted in shock, while Chandler simply greeted everyone. Joey asked what the surprise was, and Rachel hesitantly revealed it."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : What... What... Ross Geller : Okay, okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right? Monica Geller : Yes, it's twins! Ross Geller : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they? Monica Geller : This is a boy, and that's a girl. Chandler Bing : Her name is Erica. Rachel Green : Aw.. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica. Chandler Bing : Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together.", "summary": "Twins! Monica and Ross are having twins!"}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Yeah, we named the boy Jack after dad. Ross Geller : Aw, he's gonna be so happy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? \"Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!\" Rachel Green : Oh my gosh. Wow, so beautiful. Mike Hannigan : I want one. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah? Well, tell me which one, and I'll try slip it in my coat. Mike Hannigan : Seriously. Wanna make one of those? Phoebe Buffay : One? How about a whole bunch? Mike Hannigan : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.", "summary": "Plot Summary: The group names their newborn son Jack after his father. Phoebe jokes about using the name \"Jack Bing\" for a '40s-style newspaper reporter, while Rachel expresses her admiration for the name's simplicity and beauty. Mike is interested in making a similar decision for his own child, leading to a discussion of potential names and their meanings. Phoebe suggests teaching their children to sing like the Von Trapp family, but with no Nazis involved."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, you guys, I can't believe this. But I'll leave now, or I'm gonna miss my plane. Monica Geller : I'm just so glad you got to see the babies. Rachel Green : Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much. Monica Geller : I love you. Chandler Bing : I love you. Monica Geller : Call us when you get there. Rachel Green : I will. Ross, come here. Rachel Green : I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it. Ross Geller : Neither will I. Rachel Green : Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.", "summary": "Rachel leaves for a trip and expresses her regret that she won't be able to watch Monica and Chandler handle their new babies. She thanks them for being there for her and says goodbye before leaving."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So, you just let her go? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, maybe that's for the best. Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye? Phoebe Buffay : But now she'll never know how he feels! Joey Tribbiani : Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. Right? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's true. Except I don't wanna get over her. Joey Tribbiani : What?", "summary": "Ross and Joey discuss how Ross let Rachel go after their one-night stand. They debate whether it was the right decision and consider the idea that sleeping together may have been a perfect way to say goodbye. Phoebe disagrees, thinking Rachel will never know how Ross truly feels. The group concludes that moving on may be best for both of them, but Ross is unsure if he can actually let go of Rachel."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't! I wanna be with her. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm gonna go after her. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you are! Phoebe Buffay : Woo! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait! Get your coat! Get your coat! Ross Geller : My coat... Joey Tribbiani : This is so cool! Chandler Bing : I have no idea what's going on, but I am excited! Joey Tribbiani : But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?", "summary": "Ross wants to be with a certain woman, so he decides to go after her."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?! Phoebe Buffay : You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport. Ross Geller : Okay, guys, wish me luck. Phoebe Buffay : Hurry! Joey Tribbiani : Good luck, good luck! Ross Geller : There's no seatbelt! Phoebe Buffay : That's okay. If - if we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car. Ross Geller : Alright, alright, let's do this! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Ross Geller : Hey!", "summary": "Ross tries to muster up the courage to ask a woman out, but is worried about being rejected. He takes his friend Phoebe's cab to the airport for his flight, despite not bringing a coat. On the way, Phoebe attempts to alleviate Ross's nerves by pointing out the dangers of flying and driving, but her attempts only make him more anxious. Despite this, Ross decides to go through with it and expresses his confidence before they arrive at the airport."}
-{"dialogues": "Man : 18th and East End. Phoebe Buffay : I - I don't take passengers. Man : Hey! The law says you have to accept any fare. Ross Geller : No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab. Man : Alright, I gotta report you. What's your medallion number? Phoebe Buffay : My medallion number is, \"Get out of the cab!\" Man : What? Ross Geller : Get out of the cab! Phoebe Buffay : Get out of the cab! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now?", "summary": "A man hails a cab, but the driver (Phoebe Buffay) refuses to accept him as a passenger. The man insists that she has to under the law, but Phoebe claims her medallion number is \"Get out of the cab!\" Ross Geller tries to help by explaining the situation, but Joey Tribbiani interrupts with a house-warming gift."}
-{"dialogues": "Monica Geller : Now, that you can do. Joey Tribbiani : Alright! Joey Tribbiani : Ah... Chick Jr.? Duck Jr.? Don't hide from mama! Phoebe Buffay : You can open your eyes now. Ross Geller : Are we off the bridge? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Ross Geller : Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, she jumped right back up. Ross Geller : Oh my God, Phoebe, slow down! Phoebe Buffay : Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?", "summary": "Rachel is in danger and needs to be saved by Phoebe and Ross. Joey and Monica are nowhere to be found."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes, but I don't wanna die in your cab! Phoebe Buffay : You should have thought of that before you got in! Phoebe Buffay : Toll-booth. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment. Phoebe Buffay : Hurry! Ross Geller : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Damn, that window is clean. Joey Tribbiani : Quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, tweet, quack...", "summary": "Ross gets into a cab with Phoebe and they are in danger of dying after Phoebe tells Ross to pay the toll."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : We were wondering what was taking so long with the gift, but now we understand you were doing this. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck! Chandler Bing : Really? You got us a chick and a duck? Monica Geller : Oh, great! Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone! Chandler Bing : Oh, don't worry, we'll find them. Monica Geller : Actually, I'm gonna go check on the twins. Chandler Bing : Alright. Monica Geller : Oh God! What did I just step on? Joey Tribbiani : Oh!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey were delayed in giving a gift, but they later revealed that they got each other a chicken and a duck for their housewarming present. Monica found bird feces in the new house, and Joey joked that the birds must have jumped off the table. Monica went to check on the twins, but then she stepped on something unexpected."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : It's okay, it's just an egg roll. Monica Geller : Oh.. Joey Tribbiani : You stepped on my egg roll? Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor. Joey Tribbiani : Just put it on a plate and leave. Chandler Bing : Okay, let's find these birds. Joey Tribbiani : Alright. Joey Tribbiani : Wait, wait. Do you hear that? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! They're in the table! Chandler Bing : Well, that can't be good!", "summary": "Egg roll gets stepped on, Monica didn't know to look for food on the floor. Joey puts it on a plate and leaves. Birds are heard coming from the table."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : We gotta get them out of there! Chandler Bing : How? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh! Maybe we can lure them out. You know any birdcalls? Chandler Bing : Oh, tons, I'm quite the woodsman. Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe we can just tip the table a little. Chandler Bing : Joey, wait! The ball! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Oh God! So what do we do? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Maybe we can open this up somehow. Joey Tribbiani : Okay.", "summary": "Lure them out: Joey and Chandler try to get two people trapped in a table using bird calls and tilting the table, but it doesn't work."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : No... It's all glued together. Joey Tribbiani : Does that mean we have to bust it open? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Maybe. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I know! It's.. It's the foosball table. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. \"Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine.\" Chandler Bing : Did that movie ever get made? Joey Tribbiani : It did not. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, where are you going? Ross Geller : To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Chandler and Joey discover a glued-together foosball table with their friends inside. They must decide whether to bust it open or risk losing their friends forever."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before? Ross Geller : Not since my cop-show got cancelled. Phoebe Buffay : You have to get a ticket to get past security. Ross Geller : What? We're never gonna make it! Phoebe Buffay : Not with that attitude! Now, haul ass! Ross Geller : Okay, if you could all walk slower, that'd be great. Gate Attendant #1 : Madame, your passport please? Rachel Green : Oh my God! I was so afraid I wasn't gonna remember any of my high-school French, but I understood every word you just said! Gate Attendant #1 : Your boarding pass, please. Rachel Green : Oh.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe try to sneak onto a plane without tickets, but are thwarted by security checks."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh, shoot. I had it. Oh, I can't believe this. Gate Attendant #1 : Madame, if you don't have your boarding pass... Rachel Green : I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size. Gate Attendant #1 : Madame, you must have your boarding pass.. Rachel Green : Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem. Ross Geller : Hey, I need a ticket. Phoebe Buffay : Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out? Ross Geller : Fine, two tickets, I need two tickets. Phoebe Buffay : We're on our honeymoon. Ticket Agent : And the destination?", "summary": "Plot Summary: Rachel forgets her boarding pass and has trouble at the gate with a gate attendant. Ross tries to get a ticket for himself and Phoebe, who is on their honeymoon."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : I don't care. Whatever is the cheapest. Phoebe Buffay : I'm so lucky I married you. Rachel Green : Oh! Shoot! Damn it! Where is it? Oh! Oh! I found it! I found it! Rachel Green : Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! You're a different person. Ross Geller : Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it? Phoebe Buffay : No, did we miss it? Ross Geller : No, no, no. That's impossible. It doesn't leave for another 20 minutes. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe we have the flight-number wrong. God. Monica Geller : Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, it's me. Here's Ross.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe are looking for a cheap flight to Paris, but they can't find it. Rachel finds the flight and gloats about it, but they miss it. They search for the correct flight number and time, but it doesn't leave for 20 minutes. Monica joins the conversation."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : What? Hey, hey, listen.. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ross, you wouldn't believe the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen. Ross Geller : Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..? Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Shoot, they were doing it before. Ross Geller : That's alright. Listen, listen. Monica Geller : Oh, wait, wait, wait! Here they go again. Ross Geller : Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..? Monica Geller : Isn't that cute? Ross Geller : That is precious! Listen! I need Rachel's flight information. Monica Geller : Oh, okay. Alright, it's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are talking about their twin babies making cute noises. Ross asks for Rachel's flight information."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board. Monica Geller : That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Newark airport. Why, where are you? Ross Geller : JFK. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, you guys, we're gonna get you out of there. Chandler Bing : And we're also gonna buy you tiny, bird hearing-aids. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Here goes. Chandler Bing : What's the matter? Joey Tribbiani : I need to say goodbye to the table first.", "summary": "Ross and Monica are trying to find a flight information, but it's not on the board. Ross is at JFK airport, while Monica is at Newark airport. Joey tries to help them by buying tiny hearing aids for their bird friends. Chandler joins in and tries to comfort Monica, who is upset about the flight information."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : I understand. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Except that, for one last time... Good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here we go. I can't do it. Chandler Bing : Well, I can't do it either. Monica Geller : Hey! Did you find them? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they're stuck inside the table! Chandler Bing : We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it! Monica Geller : Oh, well sure. This gotta be so hard. I'll do it. Gimme! Ross Geller : Phoebe! Wow! No, no, no!", "summary": "Chandler and Joey reminisce about their past adventures with their friends at the table. They struggle to open a stuck table, while Monica and Ross try to help them."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Well, I've never gone this fast before. Ross Geller : Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time. Phoebe Buffay : She's got her cell, you could call her. Ross Geller : I am not doing this over the phone. Phoebe Buffay : You don't have any other choice! Rachel Green : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Oh, good. Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport. Ross Geller : Yay.", "summary": "Rachel misses her flight and her friends try to reach her on the phone, but they are unsuccessful."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : Uh, Rach, hang on. Rachel Green : Phoebe? Is everything okay? Phoebe Buffay : Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane. Rachel Green : What? Why? Phoebe Buffay : I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange. Rachel Green : Oh, honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane. Rachel Green : Alright, look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris. Passenger #1 : Uhm, what was that? Rachel Green : Oh, that was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane, because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left Philange. Passenger #1 : Okay, that doesn't sound good.", "summary": "A flight attendant hears Phoebe Buffay express concern about something being wrong with the plane, specifically the left Philange, before Rachel Green gets on board."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right. Passenger #1 : But she is sometimes. Rachel Green : Well... Rachel Green : Wait, what are you doing? Passenger #1 : Well, I can't take this plane now. Air Stewardess : Excuse me, sir, where are you going? Passenger #1 : I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange. Rachel Green : Could I get some peanuts? Passenger #2 : What's wrong with the plane? Air Stewardess : There's nothing wrong with the plane.", "summary": "Plot Summary: A flight takes off with a group of passengers, including Rachel Green, who is skeptical about a fellow passenger's claims of a problem with the plane's left engine. As the flight continues, the passenger becomes increasingly agitated and eventually gets off the plane at the next stop. The other passengers continue on their journey, with Rachel asking for snacks along the way."}
-{"dialogues": "Passenger #1 : Yeah! The left Philange! Air Stewardess : There is no Philange! Passenger #1 : Oh my God. This plane doesn't even have a Philange! Passenger #2 : I'm not flying on it! Air Stewardess : Ma'am, please sit down! Passenger #3 : What's going on? Passenger #1 : We're all getting off. There is no Philange! Rachel Green : This is ridiculous! I... Rachel Green : Yeah, okay. Monica Geller : Alright. My job here is done.", "summary": "Passengers panic when they realize there is no \"Philange\" on their flight."}
-{"dialogues": "Chandler Bing : That was... Impressive. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it! Monica Geller : Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later. Chandler Bing : Sorry about the table, man. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You gonna buy a new one? Joey Tribbiani : Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go. Chandler Bing : Well, at least we got these little guys out. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?", "summary": "The group plays with their new babies and has a fun time until one of them breaks a table. They discuss buying a new one but decide not to and instead focus on enjoying the babies. One person jokes about having to hold their own feces, implying they are worried about being a parent."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again. Chandler Bing : Hey, you know what? Maybe we should keep them here with you. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean we've got a lot going on right now. And, plus, here they'd have their own room. Joey Tribbiani : I could get a goose! Chandler Bing : You know, I - I think you're set with the poultry. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit. Chandler Bing : I think there may be another reason. So, awkward hug or lame cool guy handshake? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, lame cool guy handshake, yeah. Gate Attendant #2 : Ma'am, I assure you, the plane is fine.", "summary": "Plot Summary: Joey and Chandler consider keeping the birds they raised together in their apartment, but decide against it. They come up with alternative reasons for visiting each other instead."}
-{"dialogues": "Passenger #2 : And you fixed the Philange? Gate Attendant #2 : Yes, the Philange is fixed. As a matter of fact, we put a whole lot of extra Philanges onboard, just in case. Ross Geller : Where is she? Phoebe Buffay : I don't see her. Ross Geller : Rachel! Rachel Green! Phoebe Buffay : There she is! Ross Geller : Rachel! Rachel! Gate Attendant #2 : Wow, excuse me, sir, do you have a boarding pass? Ross Geller : No, no, I just have to talk to someone. Gate Attendant #2 : I'm sorry, you cannot go any further without a boarding pass.", "summary": "Ross and Phoebe search for Rachel on the plane, but a gate attendant prevents Ross from proceeding without a boarding pass."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : No, no, no, but... Phoebe Buffay : RACHEL!! Rachel Green : Oh my God... What.. What are you guys doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you're on. Rachel Green : What? What? Ross, you're scaring me. What's going on? Ross Geller : Okay, the thing is.. Rachel Green : Yeah? Ross Geller : Don't go. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Please, please stay with me. I am so in love with you. Please, don't go.", "summary": "Ross confesses his love to Rachel and tries to convince her not to leave, while Phoebe mediates the situation."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I know, I know. I shouldn't have waited 'till now to say it, but I'm.. That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane. Gate Attendant #2 : Miss? Are you boarding the plane? Ross Geller : Hey, hey. I know you love me. I know you do. Gate Attendant #2 : Miss? Rachel Green : I - I have to get on the plane. Ross Geller : No, you don't. Rachel Green : Yes, I do. Ross Geller : No, you don't. Rachel Green : They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.", "summary": "Ross confesses his love to Rachel just as she is about to board a plane, but she insists on going despite his pleas for her to stay."}
-{"dialogues": "Ross Geller : Rachel? Rachel Green : I'm so sorry. Ross Geller : I really thought she'd stay. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Monica Geller : Well, that's it. Everything's packed. Chandler Bing : Wow, this is weird. Monica Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat? Monica Geller : I put three lasagnas in your freezer. Joey Tribbiani : I love you!", "summary": "Ross is upset after Rachel leaves him. Phoebe tries to comfort him. Monica and Chandler prepare to move out. Joey is worried about food."}
-{"dialogues": "Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : So did you guys make it in time? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway. Chandler Bing : Where's Ross? Phoebe Buffay : He went home. He didn't want to see anybody. Rachel Green : Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Excuse me? Air Stewardess : Miss? Please, sit down!", "summary": "Ross and Rachel rekindle their relationship, but things don't go as planned when Ross doesn't want to see anyone and Rachel gets on a plane."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I need to tell someone that I love love them. Air Stewardess : Miss, I can't let you off the plane. Ross Geller : Let her off the plane! Air Stewardess : I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat. Rachel Green : Oh, please, miss, you don't understand! Ross Geller : Try to understand! Rachel Green : Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off... Ross Geller : No! No! Oh my God. Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane? Rachel Green : I got off the plane. Ross Geller : You got off the plane.", "summary": "Rachel wants to tell someone she loves them but can't get off the plane. Air stewardess won't let her off, causing Ross to intervene."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I do love you. Ross Geller : I love you too, and I'm never letting you go again. Rachel Green : Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again. Ross Geller : Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid. Rachel Green : Okay. You and me, alright? This is it. Ross Geller : This is it. Unless we're on a break. Ross Geller : Don't make jokes now. Monica Geller : Okay, please be careful with that. It was my grandmother's. Be careful. Monica Geller : If that falls off the truck, it wouldn't be the worst thing. Ross Geller : Wow.", "summary": "Ross and Rachel confess their love for each other, determined to never let go again. They vow to be careful and not mess things up. Monica joins in, reminding them to be careful with a valuable heirloom."}
-{"dialogues": "Rachel Green : I know. It seems smaller somehow. Joey Tribbiani : Has it always been purple? Chandler Bing : Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, do you realise that at one time or another we all lived in this apartment? Monica Geller : Oh, yeah, that's true. Ross Geller : Uh, I haven't. Monica Geller : Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer? Ross Geller : Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up? Monica Geller : Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay.", "summary": "The friends reminisce about their time living in their first apartment together, which was filled with love and laughter. They reflect on how it was a steal due to rent control. Phoebe realizes that at some point, all of them lived in the apartment. Monica mentions a summer when Ross lived with his grandmother and tried to make it as a dancer. The conversation turns to Monica forgetting to leave their keys with Treeger."}
-{"dialogues": "Phoebe Buffay : So, I guess this is it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I guess so. Monica Geller : This is harder than I thought it would be. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's gonna be okay. Rachel Green : Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time? Monica Geller : We got some time. Rachel Green : Okay, should we get some coffee? Chandler Bing : Sure. Where?", "summary": "The gang moves into a new house and prepares for their future together."}
diff --git a/finetuning/llamacpp/exp1/data/friends_dataset.txt b/finetuning/llamacpp/exp1/data/friends_dataset.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..aaec65a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/finetuning/llamacpp/exp1/data/friends_dataset.txt
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+Monica Geller : There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with! Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him! Chandler Bing : All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece? Phoebe Buffay : Wait, does he eat chalk? Phoebe Buffay : Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh! Monica Geller : Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex. Chandler Bing : Sounds like a date to me. Chandler Bing : Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked. #ALL# : Oh, yeah. Had that dream. Chandler Bing : Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there. Joey Tribbiani : Instead of...? Chandler Bing : That's right. Joey Tribbiani : Never had that dream. Phoebe Buffay : No. Chandler Bing : All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica Geller : And they weren't looking at you before?! Chandler Bing : Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me! Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. Monica Geller : Are you okay, sweetie? Ross Geller : I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... Chandler Bing : Cookie? Monica Geller : Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh. Monica Geller : Let me get you some coffee. Ross Geller : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Oh! Ross Geller : No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Be murky! Ross Geller : I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy. Monica Geller : No you don't. Ross Geller : No I don't, to hell with her, she left me! Joey Tribbiani : And you never knew she was a lesbian... Ross Geller : No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know? Chandler Bing : Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... Did I say that out loud? Ross Geller : I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well. Monica Geller : Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number? Ross Geller : Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? Joey Tribbiani : Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones! Ross Geller : I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again! Chandler Bing : And I just want a million dollars! Monica Geller : Rachel?! Rachel Green : Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are! Waitress : Can I get you some coffee? Monica Geller : De-caff. Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? Rachel Green : Hi, sure! Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? Rachel Green : Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city. Monica Geller : Who wasn't invited to the wedding. Rachel Green : Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... Monica Geller : Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it. Chandler Bing : Tuna or egg salad? Decide! Ross Geller : I'll have whatever Christine is having. Rachel Green : Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me! Phoebe Buffay : If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. Chandler Bing : Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. Joey Tribbiani : I say push her down the stairs. Chandler Bing : Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Rachel Green : C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy! Ross Geller : You can see where he'd have trouble. Rachel Green : Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica. Monica Geller : Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica... Rachel Green : Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!! Monica Geller : Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things... Phoebe Buffay : Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few... Rachel Green : I'm all better now. Phoebe Buffay : I helped! Monica Geller : Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing. Joey Tribbiani : And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot. Monica Geller : Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day! Joey Tribbiani : What, like there's a rule or something? Chandler Bing : Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound. Paul the Wine Guy : It's, uh, it's Paul. Monica Geller : Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in! Joey Tribbiani : Who's Paul? Ross Geller : Paul the Wine Guy, Paul? Monica Geller : Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy? Ross Geller : He finally asked you out? Monica Geller : Yes! Chandler Bing : Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment. Monica Geller : Rach, wait, I can cancel... Rachel Green : Please, no, go, that'd be fine! Monica Geller : Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay? Ross Geller : That'd be good... Monica Geller : Really? Ross Geller : No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy! Phoebe Buffay : What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? Monica Geller : Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. ... everybody, everybody, this is Paul. #ALL# : Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it? Monica Geller : Okay, umm-umm, I'll just--I'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah... Ross Geller : A wandering? Monica Geller : Change! Okay, sit down. Two seconds. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Paul! Paul the Wine Guy : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red. Monica Geller : Shut up, Joey! Ross Geller : So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight? Rachel Green : Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing! Ross Geller : Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we're very excited about it. Rachel Green : Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day. Ross Geller : Okay, sure. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs, you wanna help? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to. Phoebe Buffay : Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- Thank you. La-la-la-la...ohhh! Ross Geller : I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs. Joey Tribbiani : I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here. Chandler Bing : It's a beautiful thing. Joey Tribbiani : What's this? Chandler Bing : I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket. Joey Tribbiani : Which goes where? Chandler Bing : I have no idea. Joey Tribbiani : Done with the bookcase! Chandler Bing : All finished! Ross Geller : This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here. Chandler Bing : Yes, please don't spoil all this fun. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get? Ross Geller : You guys. Chandler Bing : Oh, God. Joey Tribbiani : You got screwed. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Paul the Wine Guy : I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get? Monica Geller : My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it? Paul the Wine Guy : Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her- Monica Geller : -leg? Paul the Wine Guy : That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch. Monica Geller : You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel. Paul the Wine Guy : Ooh, steer clear of you. Monica Geller : That's right. Rachel Green : Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... Ross Geller : I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced! Joey Tribbiani : Shut up! Chandler Bing : You must stop! Ross Geller : That only took me an hour. Chandler Bing : Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point! Ross Geller : You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her... Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon! Ross Geller : I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny. Chandler Bing : Stay out of my freezer! Paul the Wine Guy : Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh... Monica Geller : What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles? Paul the Wine Guy : No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation. Monica Geller : Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date? Paul the Wine Guy : Isn't there? Monica Geller : Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say? Paul the Wine Guy : Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. ...Sexually. Monica Geller : Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry... Paul the Wine Guy : It's okay... Monica Geller : I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long? Paul the Wine Guy : Two years. Monica Geller : Wow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her watch! Paul the Wine Guy : So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date? Monica Geller : ...Yeah. Yeah, I do. Priest On Tv : We are gathered here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles, Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of holy matrimony. Rachel Green : Oh...see... but Joanne loved Chachi! That's the difference! Ross Geller : Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you? Joey Tribbiani : Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, Chandler Bing : Angela's the screamer, Andrea has cats. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. Ross Geller : Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna ask? Rachel Green : Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life. Chandler Bing : That is amazing. Joey Tribbiani : Congratulations. Rachel Green : Y'know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do. Chandler Bing : If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... Although actually I'm really not that hungry... Monica Geller : Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here. #ALL# : Morning. Good morning. Paul the Wine Guy : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Morning, Paul. Rachel Green : Hello, Paul. Chandler Bing : Hi, Paul, is it? Paul the Wine Guy : Thank you! Thank you so much! Monica Geller : Stop! Paul the Wine Guy : No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness. Monica Geller : We'll talk later. Paul the Wine Guy : Yeah. Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date? Monica Geller : Shut up, and put my table back. #ALL# : Okayyy! Chandler Bing : All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference... Rachel Green : So, like, you guys all have jobs? Monica Geller : Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I'm an actor. Rachel Green : Wow! Would I have seen you in anything? Joey Tribbiani : I doubt it. Mostly regional work. Monica Geller : Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park. Joey Tribbiani : Look, it was a job all right? Chandler Bing : 'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.' Joey Tribbiani : I will not take this abuse. Chandler Bing : You're right, I'm sorry. "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..." Joey Tribbiani : You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? Monica Geller : So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling. Rachel Green : I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth. Monica Geller : I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. Monica Geller : Well, it's like that. With feelings. Rachel Green : Oh wow. Are you in trouble. Monica Geller : Big time! Rachel Green : Want a wedding dress? Hardly used. Monica Geller : I think we are getting a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work. Rachel Green : Oh, look, wish me luck! Monica Geller : What for? Rachel Green : I'm gonna go get one of those job things. Franny : Hey, Monica! Monica Geller : Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida? Franny : You had sex, didn't you? Monica Geller : How do you do that? Franny : Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex! So? Who? Monica Geller : You know Paul? Franny : Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul. Monica Geller : You mean you know Paul like I know Paul? Franny : Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years. Joey Tribbiani : Of course it was a line! Monica Geller : Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that? Ross Geller : I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'. Monica Geller : I hate men! I hate men! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe. Monica Geller : Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear? Phoebe Buffay : All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. Monica Geller : I just thought he was nice, y'know? Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you didn't know it was a line! Rachel Green : Guess what? Ross Geller : You got a job? Rachel Green : Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today. Chandler Bing : And yet you're surprisingly upbeat. Rachel Green : You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off! Chandler Bing : Oh, how well you know me... Rachel Green : They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots! Monica Geller : How'd you pay for them? Rachel Green : Uh, credit card. Monica Geller : And who pays for that? Rachel Green : Um... my... father. Rachel Green : Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want. Monica Geller : C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life. Rachel Green : I know that. That's why I was getting married. Phoebe Buffay : Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time. Rachel Green : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel. Ross Geller : The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'... Monica Geller : All right, you ready? Rachel Green : No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this! Monica Geller : You can, I know you can! Rachel Green : I don't think so. Ross Geller : Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! Ross Geller : C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,... #ALL# : Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... Rachel Green : Y'know what? I think we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic gesture... Monica Geller : Rachel! That was a library card! #ALL# : Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.. Chandler Bing : Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream. Monica Geller : Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it! Monica Geller : Well, that's it You gonna crash on the couch? Ross Geller : No. No, I gotta go home sometime. Monica Geller : You be okay? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. What? Monica Geller : That's Paul's watch. You just put it back where you found it. Oh boy. Alright. Goodnight, everybody. Rachel Green : Goodnight. Ross Geller : Mmm. Oh, no- Rachel Green : Sorry- Ross Geller : No no no, go- Rachel Green : No, you have it, really, I don't want it- Ross Geller : Split it? Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you. Rachel Green : I knew. Ross Geller : You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother. Rachel Green : I did. Ross Geller : Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe? Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe... Ross Geller : Okay... okay, maybe I will... Rachel Green : Goodnight. Ross Geller : Goodnight. Monica Geller : See ya.... Waitwait, what's with you? Ross Geller : I just grabbed a spoon. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe what I'm hearing here. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe what I'm hearing here... Monica Geller : What? I-I said you had a- Phoebe Buffay : What I said you had... Monica Geller : Would you stop? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, was I doing it again? #ALL# : Yes! Monica Geller : I said that you had a nice butt, it's just not a great butt. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya. Ross Geller : There's an image. Rachel Green : Would anybody like more coffee? Chandler Bing : Did you make it, or are you just serving it? Rachel Green : I'm just serving it. #ALL# : Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee. Chandler Bing : Kids, new dream... I'm in Las Vegas. Customer : Ahh, miss? More coffee? Rachel Green : Ugh. Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there? Go ahead. Thank you. Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas. Chandler Bing : Okay, so, I'm in Las Vegas... I'm Liza Minelli- Monica Geller : What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, right!.......Y'serious? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Rachel Green : Everything you need to know is in that first kiss. Monica Geller : Absolutely. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out. Ross Geller : Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket. Chandler Bing : The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone. Joey Tribbiani : ....Are we still talking about sex? Ross Geller : No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry? Marsha : Well, she has issues. Ross Geller : Does she. Marsha : He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet! Ross Geller : Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See? Marsha : Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife? Ross Geller : No. No. Marsha : Yes, it is. Carol! Hi! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, yes, it is. How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age. Ross Geller : Hi. Carol Willick : So. Ross Geller : You look great. I, uh... I hate that. Carol Willick : Sorry. You look good too. Ross Geller : Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh... Carol Willick : A lesbian? Ross Geller : Well... you never know. How's, um.. how's the family? Carol Willick : Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh- Ross Geller : Why- why are you here, Carol? Carol Willick : I'm pregnant. Ross Geller : Pregnant?! Chandler Bing : Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding. Phoebe Buffay : ...Then I've already seen this one! Monica Geller : Are you through with that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down. Monica Geller : Whose little ball of paper is this?! Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... ...now I wish I was dead. Phoebe Buffay : She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- -but, it's fine! Monica Geller : Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow. Phoebe Buffay : Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come. Monica Geller : That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born. Chandler Bing : Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster! #ALL# : Eeaagh! Rachel Green : Has anybody seen my engagement ring? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's beautiful. Rachel Green : Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God.... Phoebe Buffay : No, look, don't touch that! Rachel Green : Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder... Monica Geller : Easy Rach, we'll find it. Won't we! Chandler Bing : Oh! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, when'd'ya have it on last? Phoebe Buffay : Doy! Probably right before she lost it! Chandler Bing : You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days... Rachel Green : I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with... Chandler Bing : ...Dinah? Rachel Green : Ohhhhh, don't be mad... Monica Geller : You didn't. Rachel Green : Oh, I am sorry... Monica Geller : I gave you one job! Rachel Green : Oh, but look how straight those noodles are! Chandler Bing : Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne... Monica Geller : I just... can't do it. Chandler Bing : Boys? We're going in. Ross Geller : .....Hi. Monica Geller : Wow. That is not a happy hi. Ross Geller : Carol's pregnant. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! I found it! Monica Geller : W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-... Ross Geller : Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. Chandler Bing : Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon? Rachel Green : Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing? Ross Geller : Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me. Phoebe Buffay : She is so great! I miss her. Monica Geller : What does she mean by 'involved'? Chandler Bing : I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done. Ross Geller : Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow. Rachel Green : So what are you gonna do? Ross Geller : I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father. Joey Tribbiani : .....Well, this is still ruined, right? Judy Geller : Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. Mmm! What's that curry taste? Monica Geller : Curry. Judy Geller : Mmmm! Ross Geller : I- I think they're great! I, I really do. Ross Geller : Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she? Judy Geller : They all had a thing for him. Ross Geller : Aw, Mom... Monica Geller : I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me? Judy Geller : Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant- Monica Geller : No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant. Judy Geller : Well, they don't have to know that... Monica Geller : Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please? Ross Geller : Yeah. Judy Geller : Oh, we're having spaghetti! That's.... easy. Monica Geller : I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me. Judy Geller : What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well. Ross Geller : I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money! Judy Geller : Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar... Monica Geller : What's that supposed to mean? Judy Geller : Nothing! It's an expression. Monica Geller : No it's not. Ross Geller : Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles... Ross Geller : Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. Ross Geller : ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem. Monica Geller : So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks? Ross Geller : Okay! Okay. Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby. Judy Geller : And you knew about this?! Joey Tribbiani : Your folks are really that bad, huh? Ross Geller : Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done. Monica Geller : Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- -I'd want yours. Ross Geller : Must pee. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins. Rachel Green : You're twins? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type. Chandler Bing : What does she do? Phoebe Buffay : She's a waitress. Rachel Green : All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. Monica Geller : Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this. Chandler Bing : Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred. Rachel Green : The lights, please.. Ross Geller : ...How long was I in there? Rachel Green : I'm just cleaning up. Ross Geller : D'ya.. uh.. d'ya need any help? Rachel Green : Uh.. okay, sure! Thanks! Ross Geller : Anyway.. um.. So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow? Rachel Green : Oh.. a little.. Ross Geller : Mm-hmm.. Rachel Green : A lot. Ross Geller : Mm. Rachel Green : So, got any advice? Y'know, as someone who's recently been- dumped? Ross Geller : Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN... Rachel Green : Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated? Ross Geller : Got me. Rachel Green : Remember when we were in high school together? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? ..Ross? Ross Geller : Yes, yes! Rachel Green : Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here.. Ross Geller : Me either... Ross Geller : Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway. Susan Bunch : Hi. Carol Willick : Ross, you remember Susan. Ross Geller : How could I forget? Susan Bunch : Ross. Ross Geller : Hello, Susan. Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...? Carol Willick : Dr. Oberman. Ross Geller : ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he- Susan Bunch : She. Ross Geller : -she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation? Carol Willick : Yes, and she's very supportive. Ross Geller : Okay, that's great. No, I'm- Oh. Carol Willick : Thanks. Ross Geller : Quack, quack.. Carol Willick : Ross? That opens my cervix. Rachel Green : Barry? Barry Farber : C'mon in. Rachel Green : Are you sure? Barry Farber : Yeah! It's fine, it's fine. Robbie's gonna be here for hours. Robbie : Huh?! Barry Farber : So, how ya doin? Rachel Green : I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great! Barry Farber : Yeah, well.. Bernice : Dr. Farber, Jason Greenstein's gagging. Barry Farber : Be right there. Be back in a sec. Rachel Green : I dumped him. Robbie : Okay. Ross Geller : So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made? Carol Willick : Give me a 'for instance'. Ross Geller : Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name? Carol Willick : Marlon- Ross Geller : Marlon?! Carol Willick : -if it's a boy, Minnie if it's a girl. Ross Geller : ...As in Mouse? Carol Willick : As in my grandmother. Ross Geller : Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia? Carol Willick : Julia.. Susan Bunch : We agreed on Minnie. Ross Geller : 'S'funny, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia's on the table..? Barry Farber : Sorry about that. So. What have you been up to? Rachel Green : Oh, not much. I-I got a job. Barry Farber : Oh, that's great. Rachel Green : Why are- why are you so tanned? Barry Farber : Oh, I, uh- I went to Aruba. Rachel Green : Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone? Barry Farber : No. I went with, uh.. Now, this may hurt. Robbie : Me?! Barry Farber : No! I went with Mindy. Rachel Green : Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?! Barry Farber : Yeah, well, uh, we're kind of a thing now. Rachel Green : Oh! Well, um.. You've got plugs! Barry Farber : Careful! They haven't quite taken yet. Rachel Green : And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye! Barry Farber : Not for her. Listen, I really wanted to thank you. Rachel Green : Okay.. Barry Farber : See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist. Rachel Green : Wow. Barry Farber : You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren't happy. But with Mindy, now I'm happy. Spit. Rachel Green : What? Robbie : Me. Rachel Green : Anyway, um, I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me. Barry Farber : Well, thank you for giving it back. Robbie : Hello?! Susan Bunch : Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen? Ross Geller : Helen Geller? I don't think so. Carol Willick : Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller. Ross Geller : Thank you! Carol Willick : No, I mean it's not Geller. Ross Geller : What, it's gonna be Helen Willick? Carol Willick : No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch. Ross Geller : Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title? Susan Bunch : It's my baby too. Ross Geller : Oh, 's'funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm. Susan Bunch : Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is! Carol Willick : All right, you two, stop it! Ross Geller : No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too. Carol Willick : Ross. You're not actually suggesting Helen Willick-Bunch-Geller? 'Cause I think that borders on child abuse. Ross Geller : Of course not, I'm... suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch. Susan Bunch : Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way! Ross Geller : My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do- Dr. Oberman : Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea? #ALL# : Yeah. Yeah. A little. Dr. Oberman : Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. Uh, lie back.. Ross Geller : You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Susan Bunch : Look at that. Carol Willick : I know. Ross Geller : Well? Isn't that amazing? Joey Tribbiani : What are we supposed to be seeing here? Chandler Bing : I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise. Phoebe Buffay : You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato. Ross Geller : Then don't do that, alright? Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Ross Geller : Monica. Whaddya think? Monica Geller : Mm-hmm. Ross Geller : Wh- are you welling up? Monica Geller : No. Ross Geller : You are, you're welling up. Monica Geller : Am not! Ross Geller : You're gonna be an aunt. Monica Geller : Oh shut up! Rachel Green : Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now. Phoebe Buffay : Hi guys! #ALL# : Hey, Pheebs! Hi! Ross Geller : Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go? Phoebe Buffay : Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!' #ALL# : Ohh. Ouch. Rachel Green : What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right? Monica Geller : Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'. Rachel Green : Since when? Joey Tribbiani : Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'. Chandler Bing : Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'. Phoebe Buffay : Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'. Rachel Green : And everybody knows this? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Cushions the blow. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm. Ross Geller : That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm. Monica Geller : Uh, Ross. Ross Geller : What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi! Chandler Bing : "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?" Joey Tribbiani : "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die." Chandler Bing : Hey, that was really good! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Let's keep going. Chandler Bing : Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?" Joey Tribbiani : "I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke." Chandler Bing : "Smoke away." Chandler Bing : I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Relax your hand! Chandler Bing : Not so much! Joey Tribbiani : Whoah! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Alright, now try taking a puff. Chandler Bing : Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me. Joey Tribbiani : No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette. Chandler Bing : It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here. Chandler Bing : Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete. Joey Tribbiani : Y'miss it? Chandler Bing : Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. Oh.. my.. God. Monica Geller : No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger. Joey Tribbiani : That's ridiculous! Ross Geller : Can I use.. either thumb? Rachel Green : Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this! #ALL# : Yeah. Yeah, excellent. Rachel Green : Good for me! Joey Tribbiani : Y'okay, Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank. Monica Geller : What did they do to you? Phoebe Buffay : It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT- Ross Geller : Easy. Phoebe Buffay : - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account. Chandler Bing : Oh, Satan's minions at work again... Phoebe Buffay : Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? Keep it! Phoebe Buffay : It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing. Rachel Green : Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'... Monica Geller : We're with you. We got it. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt. Rachel Green : Chandler, what are you doing? Monica Geller : Hey. Whaddya doing? #ALL# : Oh! Oh, God! Ross Geller : What is this?! Chandler Bing : I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years! Chandler Bing : And this- is my reward! Ross Geller : Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit. Chandler Bing : Okay, so this time I won't quit! #ALL# : Ohhh! Put it out! Chandler Bing : All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now! Monica Geller : Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date. Rachel Green : This Alan again? How's it goin'? Monica Geller : 'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun. Joey Tribbiani : So when do we get to meet the guy? Monica Geller : Let's see, today's Monday... Never. #ALL# : Oh, come on! Come on! Monica Geller : No. Not after what happened with Steve. Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry. Monica Geller : Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out. Rachel Green : Well, then can we meet him? Monica Geller : Nope. Schhorry. Monica Geller : I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd. Paula : Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you. Monica Geller : I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked. Paula : Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy.. Joey Tribbiani : Let it go, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi. Monica Geller : Do you all promise? #ALL# : Yeah! We promise! We'll be good! Monica Geller : Chandler? Do you promise to be good? Joey Tribbiani : You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! Ross Geller : Hey, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone! Rachel Green : What bank is this? Monica Geller : Hey. It's him. Who is it? Alan : It's Alan. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! He's here! Monica Geller : Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me. Monica Geller : Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan. Alan : Hi. #ALL# : Hi, Alan. Alan : I've heard schho much about all you guyschh! Monica Geller : Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm? Monica Geller : C'mon! Ross Geller : ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him. #ALL# : Loved him! Yeah! He's great! Monica Geller : Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with? #ALL# : Yeah! Rachel Green : And did you notice...? The Guys : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe! Ross Geller : ...What shoe? Phoebe Buffay : From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...' Ross Geller : ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured. Rachel Green : What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it. Monica Geller : Really! Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhoff impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? Ross Geller : You know what I like most about him, though? #ALL# : What? Ross Geller : The way he makes me feel about myself. #ALL# : Yeah... Monica Geller : Hi.. how was the game? Ross Geller : Well.. #ALL# : WE WON!! Thank you! Yes! Monica Geller : Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible? Joey Tribbiani : Alan. Ross Geller : He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-... Rachel Green : I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. Chandler Bing : Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball.. Monica Geller : Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes.. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : ..I dunno, a little too Alan? Rachel Green : Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan. Ross Geller : Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore. Chandler Bing : I personally could have a gallon of Alan. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Lizzie. Lizzy : Hey, Weird Girl. Phoebe Buffay : I brought you alphabet soup. Lizzy : Did you pick out the vowels? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. Lizzy : Saltines? Phoebe Buffay : No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone? Lizzy : What? Oh my God, there's really money in here. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Lizzy : Weird Girl, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : No, I want you to have it. I don't want it. Lizzy : No, no, I ha-I have to give you something. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's fine, no. Lizzy : Would you like my tin-foil hat? Phoebe Buffay : No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks. Lizzy : Please, let me do something. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay? Lizzy : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Lizzy : Keep the change. Sure you don't wanna pretzel? Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm fine. Lizzy : See ya. Phoebe Buffay : Huh! Ross Geller : A thumb?! #ALL# : Eww! Phoebe Buffay : I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker! Chandler Bing : Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five? Phoebe Buffay : Does, um, anyone wanna see? #ALL# : Nooo! #ALL# : Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out! Rachel Green : It's worse than the thumb! Chandler Bing : Hey, this is so unfair! Monica Geller : Oh, why is it unfair? Chandler Bing : So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this? Joey Tribbiani : ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody? Rachel Green : Well, I-I could live without it. Joey Tribbiani : Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair? Ross Geller : Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, "you do, do you"? Ross Geller : You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly. Rachel Green : "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered. Rachel Green : Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on. Monica Geller : Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like? Paula : No. Monica Geller : Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like. Paula : Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through! Monica Geller : Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing. Paula : Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him! Monica Geller : I know.. it's gonna be really hard. Paula : Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it. Monica Geller : No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about. Joey Tribbiani : Do you have any respect for your body? Ross Geller : Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself? Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it. Rachel Green : Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you. Chandler Bing : Really? He does? Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! Rachel Green : God, he's good. Ross Geller : If only he were a woman. Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too. Ross Geller : Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. Monica Geller : Hey. Where's Joey? Chandler Bing : Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong? Rachel Green : I think he's across the hall. Monica Geller : Thanks. Ross Geller : There y'go. Chandler Bing : Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now. Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart? Ross Geller : Hey, I might! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb. #ALL# : You're kidding. Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Monica Geller : Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together. Joey Tribbiani : Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.. Rachel Green : Uh, Joey.. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, God! Monica Geller : Okay.. #ALL# : Oh! That was Lambchop! Monica Geller : Please, guys, we have to talk. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not. Monica Geller : Alright, we have to talk. Phoebe Buffay : There it is! Monica Geller : Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan. Ross Geller : Is there somebody else? Monica Geller : No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change. Rachel Green : We didn't change.. Joey Tribbiani : So that's it? It's over? Just like that? Phoebe Buffay : You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- Monica Geller : Look, I- I could go on pretending- Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Monica Geller : -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you! Ross Geller : Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were. Monica Geller : I'm sorry.. Chandler Bing : Oh, she's sorry! I feel better! Rachel Green : I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family- Monica Geller : I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans. #ALL# : Oh, yeah! Right! Monica Geller : Are you guys gonna be okay? Ross Geller : Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time. Monica Geller : I understand. Alan : Wow. Monica Geller : I'm, I'm really sorry. Alan : Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved. Monica Geller : Relieved? Alan : Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends. Rachel Green : Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun. Ross Geller : Yeah. He could row like a viking. Monica Geller : Hi. #ALL# : Mmm. Ross Geller : So how'd it go? Monica Geller : Oh, y'know.. Phoebe Buffay : Did he mention us? Monica Geller : He said he's really gonna miss you guys. Ross Geller : You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. Chandler Bing : ...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. #ALL# : No no no! Chandler Bing : I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke! Phoebe Buffay : If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars! Chandler Bing : Yeah, alright. Monica Geller : Alright. Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs! Ross Geller : Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you? Chandler Bing : Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever. Rachel Green : See, there's always one guy. "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." #ALL# : Hey Joey. Hi. Hey, buddy. Monica Geller : Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent? Joey Tribbiani : Probably kill myself! Monica Geller : ..Excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live! Ross Geller : Joey, uh- OMnipotent. Joey Tribbiani : You are? Ross, I'm sorry.. Monica Geller : How does she do that? Ross Geller : I cannot sleep in a public place. Monica Geller : Would you look at her? She is so peaceful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! What what what! ...Hi. Ross Geller : It's okay, y'know, you just nodded off again. Monica Geller : What's going on with you? Phoebe Buffay : I got no sleep last night! Ross Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are! Monica Geller : Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : ...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here. Chandler Bing : You got waaaay too much free time. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you. Chandler Bing : Happy birthday, pal! Joey Tribbiani : We love you, man. Ross Geller : Funny, my birthday was seven months ago. Joey Tribbiani : So? Ross Geller : So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date? Chandler Bing : Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty." Ross Geller : Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth? Monica Geller : Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't remember. Ross Geller : Ohhh. Joey Tribbiani : What's wrong with the twentieth? Chandler Bing : Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone? Ross Geller : Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover. Joey Tribbiani : The hell with hockey, let's all do that! Chandler Bing : C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, Huh? Huh? Huh? Ross Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : I have no idea. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, Ross! Ross Geller : Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger? Chandler Bing : You got it. Rachel Green : Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me! Phoebe Buffay : I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed. Monica Geller : Wow, you worked in a mine? Phoebe Buffay : I worked in a Dairy Queen, why? Rachel Green : God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that. Chandler Bing : Oh, this is not that bad. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job. Ross Geller : You can totally, totally live on this. Monica Geller : Yeah, yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, by the way, great service tonight. #ALL# : Oh! Yeah! Guys : Hockey! Hockey! Hockey. Leslie : Rachel? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Monica Geller : I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom. Rachel Green : What are you guys doing here? Kiki : Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true! Joanne : Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play. Rachel Green : Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it! Leslie : I know. I know! I'm a duplex. Rachel Green : So what's going on with you? Joanne : Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm? Kiki : And while we're on the subject of news.. Phoebe Buffay : Look, look, I have elbows! Chandler Bing : ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! Joey Tribbiani : Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! Chandler Bing : We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes. Ross Geller : Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- Sorry. Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : Peach pit. Chandler Bing : Yes, Bunny? Ross Geller : Peach pit. That night we, uh- we had- Joey Tribbiani : -Peaches? Ross Geller : Actually, nectarines, but basically... Chandler Bing : Could've been a peach. Ross Geller : Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- -the bus stop... I'm fine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's! What? Thought we were trying to find stuff. Rachel Green : So c'mon, you guys, tell me all the dirt! Kiki : Well, the biggest news is still you dumping Barry at the altar! Joanne : Alright. Let's talk reality for a second. Rachel Green : Okay. Joanne : When are you coming home? Rachel Green : What? Guys, I'm not. Joanne : C'mon, this is us. Rachel Green : I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job- Kiki : Waitressing? Rachel Green : Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies. Leslie : Well. Your mom didn't tell us about the blobbies. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? Rachel Green : What's that? Monica Geller : Weeeell, it's rum, and- Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : We thought since Phoebe was staying over tonight we'd have kinda like a slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got Twister... Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy! Monica Geller : Uh, Rach, it's the Visa card people. Rachel Green : Oh, God, ask them what they want. Monica Geller : Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? Yes, hold on. Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account. Rachel Green : But I haven't used my card in weeks! Monica Geller : That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay. Rachel Green : They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay? Monica Geller : Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back? Rachel Green : Alright, c'mon! Let's play Twister! Ross Geller : Sorry, sorry... Uh-oh. Chandler Bing : What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans? Ross Geller : No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost... Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, sit. Just sit down, sit. Monica Geller : You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independence thing! Rachel Green : Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what? Phoebe Buffay : You are just like Jack. Rachel Green : ...Jack from downstairs? Phoebe Buffay : No, Jack and the Beanstalk. Monica Geller : Ah, the other Jack. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village.. Rachel Green : Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him- Phoebe Buffay : Oh, see, Jack did love the cow. Rachel Green : But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like... Phoebe Buffay : Floopy? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, like that's a word. Rachel Green : Okay, but Monica, what if- what if it doesn't come together? Monica Geller : ...Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question. Rachel Green : Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans? Ross Geller : Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya pal! Chandler Bing : See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks. Ross Geller : Pass it! Pass it! Chandler Bing : He's open! #ALL# : Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Chandler Bing : Hey, look, we're on that TV thing! Chandler Bing : 'Scuse me. Receptionist : It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied. Chandler Bing : Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. Receptionist : Hold on. Fill these out, sit over there. Ross Geller : Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented. Receptionist : Well, you'll have to wait your turn. Joey Tribbiani : Well, how long do you think it'll be? Receptionist : Any minute now. Ross Geller : Hey, this- Heyy... Rachel Green : I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down. Monica Geller : No, you were right. I don't have a plan. Pizza Guy : Pizza guy! Rachel Green : Thank God. Food. Monica Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : Do you have a plan? Phoebe Buffay : I don't even have a 'pl'. Pizza Guy : Hi, one, uh, mushroom, green pepper and onion? Rachel Green : No, no, that's not what we ordered... We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese. Pizza Guy : Wait, you're not 'G.Stephanopoulos?' Man, my dad's gonna kill me! Monica Geller : Wait! Did you say 'G.Stephanopoulos?' Pizza Guy : Yeah. This one goes across the street, I must have given him yours. Oh, bonehead, bonehead! Monica Geller : Wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks? Pizza Guy : Yeah, that sounds about right. Monica Geller : Was he wearing a stunning blue suit? Phoebe Buffay : And-and a power tie? Pizza Guy : No, pretty much just a towel. Monica Geller : Oh God. Pizza Guy : So you guys want me to take this back? Monica Geller : Are you nuts?! We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza! Rachel Green : Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus? Phoebe Buffay : Big Bird's friend. Monica Geller : I see pizza! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! Rachel Green : Hello? Who are we spying on? Monica Geller : White House adviser? Clinton's campaign guy? The one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt? Rachel Green : Oh, him, the little guy? Oh, I love him! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, wait.. wait, I see a woman. Monica Geller : Please tell me it's his mother. Phoebe Buffay : Definitely not his mother. Monica Geller : Oh, no... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- Hey, that's not for you, bitch! Chandler Bing : Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. Ba-! Monica Geller : Light still out? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh. Maybe they're- napping. Rachel Green : Oh please, they're having sex. Monica Geller : Shut up! Rachel Green : So, whaddya think George is like? Monica Geller : I think he's shy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal. Ross Geller : I remember the moonlight coming through the window- and her face had the most incredible glow. Chandler Bing : Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please? Joey Tribbiani : He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that. Ross Geller : Look, it's just a little more complicated... Chandler Bing : Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women? Ross Geller : Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you... Chandler Bing : Then what? Ross Geller : My first time with Carol was... Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : It was my first time. Joey Tribbiani : With Carol? Oh. Chandler Bing : So in your whole life, you've only been with one oh. Joey Tribbiani : Whoah, boy, hockey was a big mistake! There was a whole bunch of stuff we could've done tonight! Monica Geller : Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Well, unless goose is a vegetable...ha haaaah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, fine, fine. Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Hurley. Monica Geller : What?! You slept with Jason? Phoebe Buffay : You'd already broken up. Rachel Green : How long? Phoebe Buffay : A couple hours. Monica Geller : Oh, that's nice! Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay, I got one! Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me. Monica Geller : Excuse me?! Rachel Green : Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? She was a big girl. Monica Geller : Really. Well, at least 'big girls' don't pee in their pants in seventh grade! Rachel Green : I was laughing! You made me laugh! Phoebe Buffay : There he is! There he is! Monica Geller : Where? Phoebe Buffay : Right- where we've been looking all night! Rachel Green : He is so cute! Monica Geller : Oh, George, baby, drop the towel! #ALL# : Yeah, drop it! Drop the towel! Please drop the wowww. Joey Tribbiani : Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman? Chandler Bing : I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic... Joey Tribbiani : Really? Chandler Bing : No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. Both : Hey, buddy. Ross Geller : Hi. Receptionist : Oh, that's attractive. Chandler Bing : Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight. Ross Geller : Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my puck? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ah- the kid has it. Ross Geller : The kid...? Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck. Kid : I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. Chandler Bing : You gotta do it, man. Ross Geller : Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever can't do it. Listen, uh- gimme back my puck. Kid : No. Ross Geller : 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme! Kid : No! No! Receptionist : Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER! Ross Geller : GIVE ME MY PUCK!! Ross Geller : ...Now that was fun. Ross Geller : Okay, Monica: Right foot red. Monica Geller : Could've played Monopoly, but nooooo. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Ross Geller : Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. Good. Chandler Bing : Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people. Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Will you take my place? Chandler Bing : Alright. Yes, this is Rachel. Rachel Green : Nooo! Hello? Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really. Ross Geller : Green. To the green. Rachel Green : I've got magic beans. Never-never mind. Chandler Bing : To the left, to the left- aww! Rachel Green : Ohhh... I'm fine. Monica Geller : Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal. Ross Geller : Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right? Rachel Green : Come on! You guys can pee standing up. Chandler Bing : We can? All right, I'm tryin' that. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care. Ross Geller : Multiple orgasms! Chandler Bing : So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night! Joey Tribbiani : No plans, huh? Chandler Bing : Not a one. Ross Geller : Not even, say, breaking up with Janice? Chandler Bing : Oh, right, right, shut up. Monica Geller : Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it. Chandler Bing : No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note. Joey Tribbiani : Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling. Phoebe Buffay : You know, if you want, I'll do it with you. Chandler Bing : Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her. Phoebe Buffay : No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony. Ross Geller : Tony? Monica Geller : Oh, you're breaking up with Tony? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know. Rachel Green : Does anybody want anything else? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. Nothing, just, just, I'm fine. Phoebe Buffay : What's the matter? Why so scrunchy? Rachel Green : It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible. Ross Geller : That guy, he burns me up. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady. Chandler Bing : Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that. Monica Geller : Did he give you that whole "You're-not-up-to-this" thing again? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own". Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, uh-huh. Angela Delveccio : Hi, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : My god, Angela. Monica Geller : Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her. Phoebe Buffay : Are you gonna go over there? Joey Tribbiani : No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. Hey, Angela. Angela Delveccio : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : You look good. Angela Delveccio : That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs. Joey Tribbiani : You don't say. Ross Geller : So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight? Rachel Green : Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama. Ross Geller : Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too? Rachel Green : Who? Ross Geller : Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here? Rachel Green : Don't you have a laundry room in your building? Ross Geller : Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish? Rachel Green : Sure. Angela Delveccio : Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now. Joey Tribbiani : Bob? Who the hell's Bob? Angela Delveccio : Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob... Joey Tribbiani : Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too. Angela Delveccio : Yeah, well, sorry, Joe. You said let's just be friends, so guess what? Joey Tribbiani : What? Angela Delveccio : We're just friends. Joey Tribbiani : Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends? Angela Delveccio : What four of us? Joey Tribbiani : You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you. Monica Geller : Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet. Joey Tribbiani : Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is... Monica Geller : Oh, god help us. Joey Tribbiani : What? Monica Geller : Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww! Joey Tribbiani : Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me. Monica Geller : What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls. Joey Tribbiani : I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please? Ross Geller : Ok, bye. Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna be me and Rachel. Chandler Bing : Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through? Ross Geller : It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal. Chandler Bing : It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date. Ross Geller : Nuh-uh. Chandler Bing : Yuh-huh. Ross Geller : So what're you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what? Chandler Bing : Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty? Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Oh, and uh, the fabric softener? Ross Geller : Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way. Chandler Bing : There you go. Monica Geller : Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short? Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Monica Geller : Which? Joey Tribbiani : Which what? Monica Geller : You've never met Bob, have you? Joey Tribbiani : No, but he's... Monica Geller : Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly... Angela Delveccio : Hey, Joey. Monica Geller : ...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now. Chandler Bing : Where are they? Where are they? Phoebe Buffay : This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us. Chandler Bing : It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies. Phoebe Buffay : Eww, I don't wanna do that. Chandler Bing : Here we go. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, have a good break-up. Chandler Bing : Hey, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day. Chandler Bing : Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please? Janice Litman Goralnik : We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping... ... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you... Chandler Bing : What? Janice Litman Goralnik : What? Chandler Bing : What... did you get me there? Janice Litman Goralnik : I got you...these. Chandler Bing : Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want. Chandler Bing : That's great. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte? Janice Litman Goralnik : No, no, I'm still working on mine. Chandler Bing : That's it? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it was really hard. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, you weren't there. Woman : Comin' through. Move, move. Rachel Green : Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine. Woman : Yeah, well, now you're kinda not. Rachel Green : But I saved it. I put my basket on top. Woman : Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds. Rachel Green : What? Woman : No suds, no save. Ok? Ross Geller : What's goin' on? Rachel Green : Hi, uh, nothing. That horrible woman just took my machine. Ross Geller : Was your basket on top? Rachel Green : Yeah, but, there were no suds. Ross Geller : So? Rachel Green : Well, you know, no suds, no save. Ross Geller : No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. That's my friend's machine. Woman : Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it. Ross Geller : Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it. Ross Geller : All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. Ok, let's do laundry. Rachel Green : That was amazing. I can't even send back soup. Ross Geller : Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent. Rachel Green : What's that? Ross Geller : Uberveiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra-tough. Ross Geller : Rach, do you uh, are you gonna separate those? Rachel Green : Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants? Ross Geller : Rach, have you never done this before? Rachel Green : Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin. Ross Geller : Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things. Rachel Green : Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates? Ross Geller : Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call. Monica Geller : He is so cute. So, where did you guys grow up? Angela Delveccio : Brooklyn Heights. Bob : Cleveland. Monica Geller : How, how did that happen? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god. Monica Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not. Joey Tribbiani : So, you and Angela, huh? Bob : Yep. Pretty much. Joey Tribbiani : You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel. Bob : Huh, I never really noticed. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it. Bob : Monica, Monica is great. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually. Monica Geller : I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific. Angela Delveccio : Yeah, isn't he? Monica Geller : It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight. Angela Delveccio : You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed. Monica Geller : Wow. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity. Angela Delveccio : Huh. That's nice. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed. Chandler Bing : Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : All right. Well, there you go. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Rachel Green : Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do. Ross Geller : That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross... Uh-oh. Rachel Green : What uh-oh? Ross Geller : Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh. Rachel Green : Ross, what's the matter? Ross Geller : Nothing, nothing. Lee-lo, the laundry's done. Rachel Green : Come on, show me. Ross Geller : All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink. Rachel Green : Oh, everything's pink. Ross Geller : Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone. Rachel Green : Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry! Monica Geller : Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please? Monica Geller : Oh my god. Joey Tribbiani : What? Monica Geller : Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, they're close. Monica Geller : Close? She's got her tongue in his ear. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross. Monica Geller : Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it'snot really true, is it? Joey Tribbiani : Well, who's to say what's true? I mean... Monica Geller : Oh my god, what were you thinking? Joey Tribbiani : All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little. Monica Geller : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Ow! Monica Geller : I'm outta here. Joey Tribbiani : Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you. Monica Geller : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up. Monica Geller : I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here. Chandler Bing : Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, ... boom. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ow! Chandler Bing : Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok? Janice Litman Goralnik : Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back. Chandler Bing : I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. How many of those have you had? Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't know, a million? Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la. Chandler Bing : I'm fine. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Chandler Bing : I'm not fine. Here she comes. Phoebe Buffay : Wait here. Breathe. Chandler Bing : How do you do that? Phoebe Buffay : It's like a gift. Chandler Bing : We should always always break up together. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'd like that. Ross Geller : You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part. Rachel Green : Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now. Rachel Green : Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart. Woman : Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, you know, maybe I wasn't being clear. Uh, this is our cart. Woman : Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it. Rachel Green : Hey, hey, hey, hey, quit making up rules! Woman : Let go! Rachel Green : All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it! Rachel Green : Yes! Did you see that? Ross Geller : You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen. Rachel Green : I could not have done this without you. Ross Geller : Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? I'm fine, I'm fine. Rachel Green : Are you sure? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Oh, are you sure you're ok? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Does it still hurt? Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this. Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, how'd it go? Joey Tribbiani : Excellent. Monica Geller : We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves. Ross Geller : What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Where's Chandler? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he needed some time to grieve. Chandler Bing : I'm free! I'm free! Phoebe Buffay : That oughta do it. Rachel Green : Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting! Chandler Bing : You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom... Phoebe Buffay : The exclamation point in the title scares me. Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud! Ross Geller : Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen. Joey Tribbiani : Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. Joey Tribbiani : All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang... Rachel Green : God. I feel violated. Monica Geller : Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do? Chandler Bing : Ross, ten o'clock. Ross Geller : Is it? Feels like two. Chandler Bing : No, ten o'clock. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock! Ross Geller : Oh. Hel-lo! Chandler Bing : She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men! Monica Geller : Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.' Rachel Green : Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it! Chandler Bing : Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here. Ross Geller : He could never get a woman like that in a million years. Chandler Bing : Thank you, buddy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys. Monica Geller : You could do that! Chandler Bing : Y'think? #ALL# : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very very aware of my tongue... Ross Geller : C'mon! C'mon! Chandler Bing : Here goes. Aurora : ...Yes? Chandler Bing : Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... Chandler! Chandler is my name, and, uh... ...hi. Aurora : Yes, you said that. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. Aurora : Chandler? #ALL# : Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard! Joey Tribbiani : Whadja think? #ALL# : ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard! Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head. #ALL# : Saw your head. Saw your head. Chandler Bing : She said yes!! She said yes!! Awful play, man. Whoah. Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. Rachel Green : What is it? Joey Tribbiani : The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me! Phoebe Buffay : Based on this play? ...Based on this play! Chandler Bing : Hey, kids. #ALL# : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line. Chandler Bing : Well, I can't believe I've been here almost seven seconds and you haven't asked me how my date went. Monica Geller : Oh, right, right. How was your date, 'Chand-lrr'? Chandler Bing : It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army... Aurora : ...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories. Chandler Bing : Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it. Chandler Bing : We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less. Aurora : ...All of a sudden we realised we were in Yammon. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is? Aurora : 'We' would be me and Rick. Joey Tribbiani : Who's Rick? Chandler Bing : Who's Rick? Aurora : My husband. #ALL# : Ooooohhh. Chandler Bing : Oh, so you're divorced? Aurora : No. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm sorry, then you're widowed?...Hopefully? Aurora : No, I'm still married. Chandler Bing : So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?...Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket? Aurora : Don't worry. I imagine he'd be okay with you because really, he's okay with Ethan. Chandler Bing : Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan? Aurora : Mmmm... Ethan is my... boyfriend. #ALL# : What?! Chandler Bing : So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend? Aurora : I suppose mainly sexual. Chandler Bing : ...Hm. Monica Geller : Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out. Chandler Bing : What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story? Monica Geller : Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this? Chandler Bing : Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy? Ross Geller : No, of course not! ...Yeah, yeah, it is. Monica Geller : What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else? Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't do it. Monica Geller : Good for you, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is. Ross Geller : Well, y'know, monogamy can be a, uh, tricky concept. I mean, anthropologically speaking- Ross Geller : Fine. Fine, alright, now you'll never know. Monica Geller : We're kidding. C'mon, tell us! #ALL# : Yeah! C'mon! Ross Geller : Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey- Rachel Green : Tah-daaah! Chandler Bing : Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that. Rachel Green : Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask. Rachel Green : Well, whaddya think? #ALL# : Very clean! It looks great! Terrific! Monica Geller : ...Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman. #ALL# : Uh-oh... Monica Geller : How-how did that happen? Rachel Green : I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table. Monica Geller : Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman. Chandler Bing : Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out. Monica Geller : You guys, I am not that bad! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Monica Geller : That is so unfair! Ross Geller : Oh c'mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy! Monica Geller : Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organised. But hey, I can be a kook. Ross Geller : Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away. Monica Geller : Why not? Ross Geller : Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice. Monica Geller : I could do that. Rachel Green : Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. Monica Geller : Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder. Chandler Bing : Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood... Monica Geller : STOP IT!! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I? Ross Geller : Monica? You're Mom. Phoebe Buffay : Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Joey Tribbiani : Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! That was my agent. My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie! #ALL# : Oh my God! Whoah! Monica Geller : Well, what's the part? Joey Tribbiani : Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy's the reason I became an actor! "I'm out of order? Pfeeeh. You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!" Phoebe Buffay : Seriously, what-what's the part? Joey Tribbiani : "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" Ross Geller : C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part? Joey Tribbiani : ...I'm his Rachel Green : ..You're, you're 'mah mah mah' what? Joey Tribbiani : ...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica Geller : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler Bing : Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross Geller : You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening? Monica Geller : Alright, alright, alright... Joey Tribbiani : Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer. Monica Geller : For what? Joey Tribbiani : Whaddya think? Today's the big day! Monica Geller : Oh my God. Okay, go into the bathroom, use whatever you want, just don't ever tell me what you did in there. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Chandler Bing : Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone. Monica Geller : He's in the bathroom. I don't think you wanna go in there! Chandler Bing : C'mon, we're roommates! My eyes!! My eyes!! Monica Geller : I warned you... Rachel Green : Who is being loud? Chandler Bing : Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast. Monica Geller : Oh, you got the whole night, huh? Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. Rachel Green : Ooh, do I sense a little bit of resentment? Chandler Bing : No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? Monica Geller : Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not gonna do that. Director : ...Dammit, hire the girl! Okay, everybody ready? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity. Director : Lose the robe. Joey Tribbiani : Me? Director : That would work. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Okay. Losing the robe. And the robe is lost. Director : Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working .. and... action. Director : And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm- I'm showering. Director : No, that was clenching. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, y'know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing... I think his butt would be angry here. Director : I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that? Joey Tribbiani : I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask... Chandler Bing : God, I love these fingers... Aurora : Thank you. Chandler Bing : No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are. Aurora : Oh my God, I'm late. Chandler Bing : Oh no nonononononnononono, don't go.. Aurora : Okay. Chandler Bing : Don't go. Aurora : Okay. Oh no, I have to. Chandler Bing : Too bad, she's leaving. Aurora : I'm sorry. He'll be waiting for me. Chandler Bing : Well, I thought- I thought you talked to Rick. Aurora : It's not Rick. Chandler Bing : What, Ethan? He got to spend the whole day with you! Aurora : No, it's-it's Andrew. Chandler Bing : I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is? Aurora : He's... new. Chandler Bing : Oh, so what you're saying is you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself? Aurora : No, that's not exactly what I was.. Chandler Bing : Well, y'know, most women would kill for three guys like us. Aurora : So what do you want? Chandler Bing : You. Aurora : You have me! Chandler Bing : Nono, just you. Aurora : Whaddyou mean? Chandler Bing : Lose the other guys. Aurora : ...Like, ...all of them? Chandler Bing : C'mon, we're great together, why not? Aurora : Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too. Chandler Bing : ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!' Aurora : So... which one of the two guys will you listen to? Chandler Bing : I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish... Aurora : Which one? Chandler Bing : ...The second guy. Aurora : Well, call me if you change your mind. Chandler Bing : Sorry, the first guy runs the lips. Ross Geller : Look at it this way: you dumped her. Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy, and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again? #ALL# : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, waitwait, aren't you the guy that plays the butt in the new Al Pacino movie? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Ross Geller : No? What happened, big guy? Chandler Bing : "Big guy?" Ross Geller : It felt like a 'big guy' moment. Joey Tribbiani : I got fired. #ALL# : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and... Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell. Joey Tribbiani : My mom will. Chandler Bing : Something so sweet and...disturbing about that. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it! Monica Geller : Maybe this wasn't your shot. Ross Geller : Yeah, I mean... I think when it's your shot, y'know, you-you know it's your shot. Did it... feel like your shot..? Joey Tribbiani : Hard to tell, I was naked. Phoebe Buffay : No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? That's so nice! Monica Geller : I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys. #ALL# : Night. Rachel Green : Uh, Mon, you-you gonna leave your shoes out here? Monica Geller : Uh-huh! Rachel Green : Really? Just casually strewn about in that reckless haphazard manner? Monica Geller : Doesn't matter, I'll get 'em tomorrow. Or not. Whenever. Ross Geller : She is a kook. Monica Geller : If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! Rachel Green : Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. OK, thank you very much. Chandler Bing : Oh, great. This is just... Rachel Green : Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out! Monica Geller : Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on. Rachel Green : Wow, you guys, this is big. Monica Geller : Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. Phoebe Buffay : Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. What's my number? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I never call me. Chandler Bing : Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre. Jill Goodacre : Hi Mom, it's Jill. Chandler Bing : She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot! Jill Goodacre : Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule. Chandler Bing : Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule. Jill Goodacre : I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy. Chandler Bing : Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy. Joey Tribbiani : Hi everyone. Ross Geller : And officiating at tonight's blackout, is Rabbi Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone. Phoebe Buffay : Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles. Rachel Green : That had to hurt! Chandler Bing : Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile! Chandler Bing : There you go! Chandler Bing : You're definitely scaring here. Jill Goodacre : Would you like to call somebody? Chandler Bing : Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. Monica Geller : Hello? Chandler Bing : Hey, it's me. Monica Geller : It's Chandler! Are you OK? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm fine. I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth Jll Gdcr! Monica Geller : I have no idea what you just said. Chandler Bing : Put Joey on the phone. Joey Tribbiani : What's up man? Chandler Bing : I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth JLL GDCR. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Chandler, listen. Chandler Bing : Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind. Rachel Green : Alright, somebody. Monica Geller : OK, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table. #ALL# : Whoooaa! Ross Geller : That's my sister. Joey Tribbiani : OK... my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York CIty public library. Monica Geller : Oh my God! What were you doing in a library? Ross Geller : Pheebs, what about you? Phoebe Buffay : Oh... Milwaukee. Rachel Green : Um... Ross? Ross Geller : Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.' #ALL# : No way! Ross Geller : The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Rachel. Rachel Green : Oh come on, I already went. Monica Geller : You did not go! #ALL# : Come on. Rachel Green : Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be... ... oh, the foot of the bed. Ross Geller : Step back. Joey Tribbiani : We have a winner! Rachel Green : I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park. Ross Geller : Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line. Rachel Green : There, well, see? Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course. Ross Geller : Come on. Rachel Green : No, he said we were holding up the people behind us. Ross Geller : And you didn't marry him because...? Rachel Green : I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of... Ross Geller : Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated. Rachel Green : Yeah right. Ross Geller : It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff. Rachel Green : OK. Ross Geller : But, um... I don't think that's going to be you. Rachel Green : You don't. Ross Geller : Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Mmmm. Rachel Green : You do? Ross Geller : I do. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, you're so great. Joey Tribbiani : It's never gonna happen. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : You and Rachel. Ross Geller : What? Why not? Joey Tribbiani : Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone. Ross Geller : No, no, no. I'm not in the zone. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, you're mayor of the zone. Ross Geller : I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to... Joey Tribbiani : Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever. Ross Geller : I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. What? What, now? Joey Tribbiani : Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' Ross Geller : Shhhh! Rachel Green : What are you shushing? Ross Geller : We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. Don't you hear that? Rachel Green : Ahhhh! Ross Geller : See? Rachel Green : Huh. Jill Goodacre : Would you like some gum? Chandler Bing : Um, is it sugarless? Jill Goodacre : Sorry, it's not. Chandler Bing : Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it. Phoebe Buffay : New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... Ross Geller : OK, here goes. Joey Tribbiani : Are you going to do it? Ross Geller : I'm going to do it. Joey Tribbiani : Do you want any help? Ross Geller : You come out there, you're a dead man. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck, man. Ross Geller : Thanks. OK. Joey Tribbiani : OK. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, where are you going? Monica Geller : Outside. Joey Tribbiani : You can't go out there. Monica Geller : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : Because of... the reason. Monica Geller : And that would be? Joey Tribbiani : I, um, can't tell you. Monica Geller : Joey, what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you. Monica Geller : About what? Joey Tribbiani : He's planning your birthday party. Monica Geller : Oh my God! I love him! Joey Tribbiani : You'd better act surprised. Phoebe Buffay : About what? Monica Geller : My surprise party! Phoebe Buffay : What surprise party? Monica Geller : Oh stop it. Joey already told me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, he didn't tell me. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross's thing. Phoebe Buffay : This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything. Monica Geller : No, you are not. We tell you stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. Looks like I was second to last. Rachel Green : Hmmm... this is so nice. Ross Geller : OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment. Rachel Green : OK. Ross Geller : OK. Here goes. For a while now, I've been wanting to, um.... Rachel Green : Ohhh!!!! Ross Geller : Yes, yes, that's right... Rachel Green : Oh, look at the little cat! Ross Geller : What? Ow! Joey Tribbiani : I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since... Monica Geller : This is just Bactine. It won't hurt. Joey Tribbiani : Sorry, that was wax. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner. Ross Geller : Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall? Rachel Green : During a blackout? He'd get trampled! Ross Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right? Rachel Green : Oh. Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner. Mr. Heckles : Er, yeah, it's mine. Phoebe Buffay : He seems to hate you. Are you sure? Mr. Heckles : Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute. What's his name? Mr. Heckles : Ehhhh... B-Buttons. Rachel Green : Bob Buttons? Mr. Heckles : Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh! You are a very bad man! Mr. Heckles : You owe me a cat. Rachel Green : Here, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty. Where did you go, little kitty-kitty-kitty? Here kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty... Paolo :  Rachel Green : Wow. Ross Geller : Lucky sixes.... Rachel Green : Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica. Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : And Joey.... Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : And Ross. Monica Geller : Hi! Paolo :  Rachel Green : He doesn't speak much English. Paolo : Monopoly! Rachel Green : Look at that! Ross Geller : So, um... where did Paolo come from? Rachel Green : Oh... Italy, I think. Ross Geller : No, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives. Rachel Green : Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat! Ross Geller : That, that is funny... .... and Rachel keeps touching him. Phoebe Buffay : Alright. I looked all over the building and I couldn't find the kitty anywhere. Rachel Green : Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat. Phoebe Buffay : Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo. Rachel Green : Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe. Paolo :  Phoebe Buffay : You betcha! Chandler Bing : Ah, let's see. What next? Blow a bubble. A bubble's good. It's got a... boyish charm, it's impish. Here we go. Chandler Bing : Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. Chandler Bing : Good save! We're back on track, and I'm... ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking. Jill Goodacre : Are you alright? Jill Goodacre : My God, you're choking! That better? Chandler Bing : Yes... thank you. That was... that was.... Jill Goodacre : Perfection? Paolo :  Ross Geller : Blah blah blah, blah blah blah... blah blaaaaaah.... Ross Geller : Wha-What did he say that was so funny? Rachel Green : I have absolutely no idea. Ross Geller : That's... that's classic. Rachel Green : Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me! Monica Geller : If you want, I'll do it. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. But I won't. Rachel Green : God, the first time he smiled at me... those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry. Phoebe Buffay : You know, did you ride mopeds? 'Cause I've heard... ... oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK. Rachel Green : Y'know, I know it's totally superficial and we have absolutely nothing in common, and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd.... Ross Geller : Paolo. Hi. Paolo : Ross! Ross Geller : Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I... we're kind of a thing. Paolo : Thing? Ross Geller : Thing, yes. Thing. Paolo : Ah, you... have the sex? Ross Geller : No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um... Paolo : Bed? Ross Geller : No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad. Paolo : Oh! Ross Geller : Yeah! Se vice? Paolo : Si. Ross Geller : So you do know a little English. Paolo : Poco... a leetle. Ross Geller : Do you know the word crapweasel? Paolo : No. Ross Geller : That's funny, because you know, you are a huge crapweasel! Jill Goodacre : Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy. Chandler Bing : OK. Jill Goodacre : Ready? Jill Goodacre : No, you've got to whip it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7... ... negative 46, negative 47, negative 48.... Ross Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Ross Geller : Kinda... spooky without any lights. Joey Tribbiani : Bwah-hah-hah! Ross Geller : OK, guys, guys? I have the definitive one. Mwwwooooo-hah-hah... Ross Geller : Oh.. oh... oh. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica. Jill Goodacre : Well, this has been fun. Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life. Jill Goodacre : Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. See ya. Chandler Bing : Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape. Chandler Bing : Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this? Shelley : Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you. Chandler Bing : Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'... Shelley : Do you want a date Saturday? Chandler Bing : Yes please. Shelley : Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's- Chandler Bing : He's a he? Shelley : Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now... Okay, goodbye... Chandler Bing : ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that? Rachel Green : Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be... Chandler Bing : You did? Rachel Green : Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not. Chandler Bing : Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me? Monica Geller : I did. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I think so, yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Not me. Ross Geller : Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did. Chandler Bing : You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't? Ross Geller : No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so... Chandler Bing : Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me? Phoebe Buffay : I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny... Chandler Bing : Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him? #ALL# : Yeah! Right! Chandler Bing : WHAT IS IT?! Monica Geller : Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality. #ALL# : Yes. Absolutely. A quality. Chandler Bing : Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this. Monica Geller : Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Calling from Rome! Bon giorno, caro mio. Ross Geller : So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome. Rachel Green : Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. I'm talking to Rome. Monica Geller : Hey dad, what's up? Oh God. Ross, it's Nana. Ross Geller : So, uh, how's she doing? Aunt Lillian : The doctor says it's a matter of hours. Monica Geller : How-how are you, Mom? Judy Geller : Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair? Monica Geller : What? Judy Geller : What's different? Monica Geller : Nothing. Judy Geller : Oh, maybe that's it. Monica Geller : She is unbelievable, our mother is... Ross Geller : Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover. Monica Geller : Oh God! Monica Geller : The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse. Ross Geller : Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants. Ross Geller : Not just restaurants, from our house. Nurse Sizemore : Mrs. Geller? Ross Geller : She looks so small. Monica Geller : I know. Ross Geller : Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now. Monica Geller : G'bye, Nana. Ross Geller : Bye, Nana. Monica Geller : Ross! Judy Geller : What is going on?! Ross Geller : Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite.. Judy Geller : What? Ross Geller : She's not- past, she's present, she's back. Aunt Lillian : What's going on? Ross Geller : She may have died. Aunt Lillian : She may have died? Ross Geller : We're looking into it. Ross Geller : I, uh, I'll go see. Nurse Sizemore : This almost never happens! Ross Geller : Now she's passed. Chandler Bing : I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair? Rachel Green : Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you have homosexual hair. Rachel Green : So, um, did she... Ross Geller : Twice. Joey Tribbiani : Twice? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that sucks! Joey Tribbiani : You guys okay? Ross Geller : I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh... Phoebe Buffay : Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone. Ross Geller : Nono, she's gone. Monica Geller : We checked. A lot. Phoebe Buffay : Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her. Rachel Green : Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Rachel Green : Sure. I just sharpened her this morning. Joey Tribbiani : Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! ...So Chandler looks gay, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie. Ross Geller : I thought it was gonna be a closed casket. Judy Geller : Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice! Judy Geller : Sweetie, you think you can get in there? Ross Geller : I don't see why not. Ross Geller : Here's my retainer! Ross Geller : I was just thinking. When my time comes- Monica Geller : Dad! Ross Geller : Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea. Monica Geller : You what? Ross Geller : I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun. Monica Geller : Define fun. Ross Geller : C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch... Monica Geller : ...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun. Ross Geller : Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'. Monica Geller : That's probably what they'll say. Ross Geller : I'd like that. Chandler Bing : Hey, gorgeous. Shelley : Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um- Chandler Bing : No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake. Shelley : Oh! Okay! Phew! Chandler Bing : So, uh... what do you think it is about me? Shelley : I dunno, uh... you just have a-a... Chandler Bing : ...Quality, right, great. Shelley : Y'know, it's a shame, because you and Lowell would've made a great couple. Chandler Bing : Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with? Shelley : What? He's cute! Chandler Bing : Well, yeah... 's'no Brian in Payroll. Shelley : Is Brian...? Chandler Bing : No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him. Shelley : Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league. Chandler Bing : Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not. Ross Geller : This one? Aunt Lillian : No. Ross Geller : I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy. Aunt Lillian : You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one. Judy Geller : You're right. We'll go with the burgundy. Ross Geller : Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. Aunt Lillian : Wait! We need shoes! Ross Geller : Okay. Um, how about these? Judy Geller : That's really a day shoe. Ross Geller : And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier? Aunt Lillian : Could we see something in a slimmer heel? Ross Geller : Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work. Aunt Lillian : No, it really should be burgundy. Judy Geller : Mm. Unless we go with a different dress? Ross Geller : No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back. Ross Geller : Oh my God.. Judy Geller : Is everything all right, dear? Ross Geller : Yeah, just... just Nana stuff. Ross Geller : How we doing, you guys ready? Monica Geller : Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature? Ross Geller : Some days it's all I can think about. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings. Rachel Green : Oh, you-you mean your earrings? Phoebe Buffay : What'd I say? Rachel Green : Hm-m. Monica Geller : Are these the shoes? Rachel Green : Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy. Ross Geller : What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...? Joey Tribbiani : Morning. We ready to go? Chandler Bing : Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it? Monica Geller : It was a really beautiful service. Judy Geller : It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger. Joey Tribbiani : Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. Chandler Bing : You're watching a football game at a funeral? Joey Tribbiani : No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception. Chandler Bing : You are a frightening, frightening man. Rachel Green : Oh no! My new Paolo shoes! Ross Geller : Oh, I hope they're not ruined. Phoebe Buffay : God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise! Ross Geller : I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- #ALL# : God! Ross! Ross Geller : I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh. Ross Geller : What, what is it? Phoebe Buffay : You missed a belt loop. Ross Geller : Oh! No-n- Phoebe Buffay : Okay, it's in spasm. Judy Geller : Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. Chandler Bing : Oh, no- Andrea : Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter. Chandler Bing : Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, look who's up! How do you feel? Ross Geller : I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great. Monica Geller : Wow, those pills really worked, huh? Ross Geller : Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister , I love Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! That's so nice... Ross Geller : ...Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me. Andrea : You were right. Ross Geller : Rachel. Rachel Rachel. I love you the most. Rachel Green : Oh, well you know who I love the most? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : You! Ross Geller : Oh.. you don't get it! Ross Geller : Whaddya got there? Joey Tribbiani : Just a, uh... hearing disability. Ross Geller : What's the score? Joey Tribbiani : Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third. Ross Geller : Beautiful! Rachel Green : Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker? Judy Geller : Your grandmother would have hated this. Monica Geller : Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all. Judy Geller : No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'. Monica Geller : That sounds like Nana. Judy Geller : Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say? Monica Geller : ...I can imagine. Judy Geller : I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is. Monica Geller : That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her? Judy Geller : Tell her what? Monica Geller : How she drove you crazy, picking on every little detail, like your hair... for example. Judy Geller : I'm not sure I know what you're getting at. Monica Geller : Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth? Judy Geller : ...No. I think some things are better left unsaid. I think it's nicer when people just get along. Monica Geller : Huh. Judy Geller : More wine, dear? Monica Geller : Oh, I think so. Judy Geller : Those earrings look really lovely on you. Monica Geller : Thank you. They're yours. Judy Geller : Actually they were Nana's. Ross Geller : Now I'm depressed! ... Even more than I was. Rachel Green : Hey, who's this little naked guy? Ross Geller : That little naked guy would be me. Rachel Green : Aww, look at the little thing. Ross Geller : Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Chandler Bing : Who are those people? Ross Geller : Got me. Monica Geller : Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'. Rachel Green : Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there? Monica Geller : Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25? Ross Geller : Looks like a fun gang. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked! Ross Geller : Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something. Chandler Bing : Hey, Lowell. Lowell : Hey, Chandler. Chandler Bing : So how's it going there in Financial Services? Lowell : It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you? Chandler Bing : Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not. Lowell : I know. That's what I told her. Chandler Bing : Really. Lowell : Yeah. Chandler Bing : So- you can tell? Lowell : Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar. Chandler Bing : So you don't think I have a, a quality? Lowell : Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is. Chandler Bing : He is? Lowell : Yup, and waaay out of your league. Chandler Bing : Out of my league. I could get a Brian. If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. Hey, Brian. Rachel Green : Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary? Terry : An advance? Rachel Green : It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job. Terry : Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart. You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful. Rachel Green : Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? Oh, look at that. Rachel Green : Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips? Guy : Huh? Rachel Green : Ok, ok, that's fine. Fine. Hey, I'm sorry about that spill before. Only $98.50 to go. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving? Ross Geller : No, they're not. Monica Geller : Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them. Ross Geller : You're wrong. Monica Geller : I am not wrong. Ross Geller : You're wrong. Monica Geller : No, I just talked to them. Ross Geller : I'm calling Mom. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model. Chandler Bing : That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman. Phoebe Buffay : What were you modeling for? Joey Tribbiani : You know those posters for the city free clinic? Monica Geller : Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"? Phoebe Buffay : You know, the asthma guy was really cute. Chandler Bing : Do you know which one you're gonna be? Joey Tribbiani : No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... Chandler Bing : Good luck, man. I hope you get it. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Ross Geller : Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving. Monica Geller : Ok, I'll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's. Ross Geller : Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps? Monica Geller : You know, they're not actually supposed to have... I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays. Chandler Bing : Yes, every single one of them. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar. Monica Geller : So you're free Thursday, then. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, can I come? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail? Rachel Green : Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop. Only a hundred and two dollars to go. Chandler Bing : I thought it was $98.50. Rachel Green : Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup. Ross Geller : Well, I'm off to Carol's. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her? Ross Geller : Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner. Ross Geller : Hi, is uh, is Carol here? Susan Bunch : No, she's at a faculty meeting. Ross Geller : Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in. Ross Geller : Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum. Susan Bunch : What's it look like? Ross Geller : Kinda like a big face without skin. Susan Bunch : Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it. Ross Geller : Ok. Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian. Susan Bunch : Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it. Ross Geller : Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic. Susan Bunch : Actually, I'm reading it to the baby. Ross Geller : The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy? Susan Bunch : What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there? Ross Geller : You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it? Susan Bunch : Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice. Ross Geller : Do you uh, do you talk about me? Susan Bunch : Yeah, yeah, all the time. Ross Geller : Really? Susan Bunch : But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy. Ross Geller : Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say. Chandler Bing : I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, did you make your money? Rachel Green : No, not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing my family, forget shoop, shoop, shoop. Monica Geller : Rach, here's your mail. Rachel Green : Thanks, you can just put it on the table. Monica Geller : No, here's your mail. Rachel Green : Thanks, you can just put it on the table. Monica Geller : Would you just open it? Rachel Green : Oh my god, oh, you guys are great. Monica Geller : We all chipped in. Joey Tribbiani : We did? Monica Geller : You owe me 20 bucks. Rachel Green : Thank you. Thank you so much! Monica Geller : Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns. Rachel Green : Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday? Chandler Bing : All right, I'm nine years old. Ross Geller : Oh, I hate this story. Chandler Bing : We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced. Rachel Green : Oh my god. Chandler Bing : Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together. Girl : We did? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. Aramis? Aramis? Girl : Yeah, right. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business. Girl : Get out. Joey Tribbiani : I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back. Girl : Really? You don't know what that means to me. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, you smell great tonight. What're you wearing? Girl : Nothing. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something? Girl : Yeah. Oh. Joey Tribbiani : What's wrong? Girl : I just remembered, I have to do something. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. What? Girl : Um, leave. Joey Tribbiani : Wait, wait, wait! Joey Tribbiani : So I guess you all saw it. Rachel Green : Saw what? Phoebe Buffay : No, we were just laughing. You know, how laughter can be infectious. Joey Tribbiani : Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD. Chandler Bing : Tonight, on a very special Blossom. Monica Geller : Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming. What? Ross Geller : I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen. Monica Geller : All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping. Ross Geller : That's closer. Rachel Green : I got the tickets! I got the tickets! Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop. Chandler Bing : Oh, you must stop shooping. Rachel Green : Ok, I'm gonna get my stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, will you just come in already? Chandler Bing : No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment. Phoebe Buffay : Look out, incoming pumpkin pie! Chandler Bing : Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots. Monica Geller : That's not a question. Joey Tribbiani : But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease. Monica Geller : All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots. Ross Geller : Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child. Monica Geller : Ah! Ross Geller : Ok, Mom never hit. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, all done. Monica Geller : What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions. Monica Geller : Why would we do that? Phoebe Buffay : Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died. Monica Geller : Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up. Rachel Green : Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry! Chandler Bing : The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away. Joey Tribbiani : The balloon? Chandler Bing : No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me? Rachel Green : I can't, I gotta go. Chandler Bing : Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen? Phoebe Buffay : Almost never. Monica Geller : Got the keys? or Got the keys! Rachel Green : Ok. Carol Willick : Anytime you're ready. Ross Geller : Ok, ok, here we go. Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but... Carol Willick : Just aim for the bump. Ross Geller : Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can't do this. Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid. Carol Willick : So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it. Ross Geller : Hello, baby. Hello, hello. Rachel Green : I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean. Monica Geller : Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here? Rachel Green : We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys. Monica Geller : No I don't. Rachel Green : Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys." Monica Geller : No I didn't. I asked, "got the ke-eys?" Rachel Green : No, no, no, you said, "got the keys". Chandler Bing : Do either of you have the keys? Monica Geller : The oven is on. Rachel Green : Oh, I gotta get my ticket! Joey Tribbiani : Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key. Monica Geller : Well then get it, get it! Joey Tribbiani : That tone will not make me go any faster. Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : That one will. Ross Geller : And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore. Carol Willick : Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want. Ross Geller : Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok? Susan Bunch : Hi, how's it goin? Ross Geller : Shh! Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! Hey, uh, did you just feel that? Carol Willick : I did. Ross Geller : Does it always, uh--? Carol Willick : No, no that was the first. Susan Bunch : Keep singing! Keep singing! Ross Geller : Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo. Susan Bunch : I felt it! Ross Geller : Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts. Joey Tribbiani : Nope, not that one. Monica Geller : Can you go any faster with that? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math. Monica Geller : Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway? Chandler Bing : For an emergency just like this. Rachel Green : All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this right now. But I'm not. Monica Geller : I swear you said you had the keys. Rachel Green : No, I didn't. I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn't have the keys. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys. Monica Geller : Why would I have the keys? Rachel Green : Aside from the fact that you said you had them? Monica Geller : But I didn't. Rachel Green : Well, you should have. Monica Geller : Why? Rachel Green : Because! Monica Geller : Why? Rachel Green : Because! Monica Geller : Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I... Chandler Bing : Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go. Monica Geller : Well, the turkey's burnt. Potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined. Ross Geller : Here we come, walkin' down thethis doesn't smell like Mom's. Monica Geller : No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one. Rachel Green : Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice. Monica Geller : Oh, really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner? Joey Tribbiani : You call that delicious? Monica Geller : Stop it, stop it, stop it! Chandler Bing : Now this feels like Thanksgiving. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal. Joey Tribbiani : I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy! Monica Geller : Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing! Phoebe Buffay : It's nice that he has someone. Chandler Bing : Shall I carve? Rachel Green : By all means. Chandler Bing : Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese? Ross Geller : I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese. Monica Geller : Does anybody wanna split this with me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I will. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, you guys have to make a wish. Monica Geller : Make a wish? Phoebe Buffay : Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for? Joey Tribbiani : The bigger half. Chandler Bing : I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked. #ALL# : That's so sweet. Ross Geller : And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas. Rachel Green : And a crappy New Year. Chandler Bing : Here, here! Chandler Bing : Bladder Control Problem Stop Wife Beating Hemorrhoids? Winner of 3 Tony Awards... Chandler Bing : He's finally happy with that and walks away. Ross Geller : Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet. #ALL# : Oooh! Monica Geller : W-wait. What is that? Ross Geller : 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi? Monica Geller : No, no, I don't. Rachel Green : Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him? Ross Geller : My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab. Phoebe Buffay : That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel? Chandler Bing : Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass! Monica Geller : Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment? Ross Geller : Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so... Monica Geller : Why don't you just get a roommate? Ross Geller : Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'. Phoebe Buffay : So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman. Chandler Bing : Might wanna open with the snowman. #ALL# : Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy. Monica Geller : So, how'd it go? Joey Tribbiani : Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job. Ross Geller : How could you not get it? You were Santa last year. Joey Tribbiani : I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political. Monica Geller : So what are you gonna be? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know? Rachel Green : Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's? Chandler Bing : Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud! Rachel Green : Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you wish! Chandler Bing : It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner. #ALL# : Yeah, okay. Alright. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm. #ALL# : Woooo! Yeah! Rachel Green : Phoebe, you're on. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh, good. Rachel Green : Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh! Phoebe Buffay : Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. Phoebe Buffay : I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? La lalala la la la la lalala la la... Phoebe Buffay :  Phoebe Buffay : ...My mother's ashes Even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jar, And sometimes when it's breezy... Phoebe Buffay :  Phoebe Buffay : ...I feel a little sneezy And now I- Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group? Max : No. No, that's- that's okay. Phoebe Buffay : Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear! Chandler Bing : That guy's going home with a note! David : Noth- I was- I was just saying to my- Phoebe Buffay : Could you speak up please? David : Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought Max : Daryl Hannah. David : Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a Max : Hard quality. David : -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we're gonna take a short break. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note! Ross Geller : Come here, Marcel. Sit here. Rachel Green : Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much? Ross Geller : Just a smidge. Phoebe Buffay : David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical. Monica Geller : I think it's romantic. Phoebe Buffay : Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman? Rachel Green : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions... Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, could I just? Chandler Bing : Yeah, 'cause I already asked Janice. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact! Chandler Bing : I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped. Monica Geller : Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history! Chandler Bing : I'm not saying it was a good idea, I'm saying I snapped! Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late. Chandler Bing : Too many jokes... must mock Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Nice shoes, huh? Chandler Bing : Aah, y'killing me! Monica Geller : Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again! Ross Geller : Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right? Monica Geller : Do you always have to bring him here? Ross Geller : I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces... Chandler Bing : Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you. Ross Geller : Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me. Chandler Bing : Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie. David : ...But, you can't actually test this theory, because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate these conditions. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, alright, I have a question, then. David : Yuh. Phoebe Buffay : Um, were you planning on kissing me ever? David : Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. David : Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body. David : Rrrreally. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me. David : ...Now? Now? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, right now. David : Okay, okay, okay. Y'know what, this was just really expensive. And I'll take- this was a gift. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now you're just kinda tidying. David : Okay, what the hell, what the hell. You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop? Phoebe Buffay : I can hop. Ross Geller : So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you? Monica Geller : I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby. Chandler Bing : Fun Bobby? Your ex-boyfriend Fun Bobby? Monica Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You know more than one Fun Bobby? Chandler Bing : I happen to know a Fun Bob. Rachel Green : Okay, here we go... Joey Tribbiani : Ooh ooh ooh ooh, there's no room for milk! Rachel Green : There. Now there is. Ross Geller : Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, four. Ross Geller : Four. Rachel Green : Five. Ross Geller : Five. Rachel Green : Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do? Ross Geller : Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops? Rachel Green : Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know, this is so not what I needed right now. Monica Geller : What's the matter? Ross Geller : Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands... Chandler Bing : That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night. Ross Geller : Really. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we played, we watched TV.. that juggling thing is amazing. Ross Geller : What, uh... what juggling thing? Chandler Bing : With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that. Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon... Max : Phoebe. Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi Max! Hey, do you know everybody? Max : No. Have you seen David? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, he hasn't been around. Max : Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk. Phoebe Buffay : Minsk? Max : Minsk. It's in Russia. Phoebe Buffay : I know where Minsk is. Max : We got the grant. Three years, all expenses paid. Phoebe Buffay : So when, when do you leave? Max : January first. Phoebe Buffay : Hello? David : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. David : Hi! What-what're you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so congratulations! This is so exciting! Max : It'd be even more exciting if we were going. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're not going? Oh, why? Max : Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifson and Yamaguchi and Flench, on nonononononono. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend!!' David : Thank you, Max. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : So-so you're really not going? David : I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just- you decide. Phoebe Buffay : Oh don't do that. David : Please. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no no. David : No, but I'm asking- Phoebe Buffay : Oh, but I can't do that- David : No, but I can't- Phoebe Buffay : It's your thing, and- David : -make the decision- Phoebe Buffay : Okay, um, stay. David : Stay. Phoebe Buffay : Stay. Phoebe Buffay : Getting so good at that! David : It was Max's stuff. Janice Litman Goralnik : I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! Chandler Bing : You remember Janice. Monica Geller : Vividly. Monica Geller : Hi. Sandy : Hi, I'm Sandy. Joey Tribbiani : Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! ...You brought your kids. Sandy : Yeah. That's okay, right? Ross Geller : Par-tay! Monica Geller : That thing is not coming in here. Ross Geller : 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home? Monica Geller : I'm guessing your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table. Ross Geller : Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened... Monica Geller : Alright. Just keep him away from me. Ross Geller : Thank you. C'mon, Marcel, whaddya say you and I do a little mingling? Alright, I'll, uh... catch up with you later. Monica Geller : Oh my gosh! Rachel, honey.. are you okay? Where-where's Paolo? Rachel Green : Rome. Jerk missed his flight. Phoebe Buffay : And then... your face is bloated? Rachel Green : No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? Are people eating my dip? Sandy : Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, that's, uh, dirty. Sandy : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, kids... Ross Geller : Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in. Janice Litman Goralnik : There you are! Haaah, you got away from me! Chandler Bing : But you found me! Janice Litman Goralnik : Here, Ross, take our picture. Smile! You're on Janice Camera! Chandler Bing : Kill me. Kill me now. Monica Geller : Hey everybody! It's Fun Bobby! Bobby Rush : Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, so here I am! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Fun Bobby! Whoah! Who died? Bobby Rush : It's gonna be an open casket, y'know, so at least I'll- I get to see him again. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter. Chandler Bing : Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we- Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, no. Oh, no. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry you misunderstood... Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. Chandler Bing : Oh, will you give me the thing. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Max! Max : Yoko. I've decided to go to Minsk without you. David : Wow. Max : It won't be the same- but it'll still be Minsk. Happy New Year. Phoebe Buffay : Are you alright? David : Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Phoebe Buffay : You're going to Minsk. David : No, I'm... not going to Minsk. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me. David : Yes I can. Because if I go it means I have to break up with you, and I can't break up with you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say 'no! No! I can't understand that!'. David : Uh, ow. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me. David : I'll never forget you. Phoebe Buffay : And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy. Dick Clark : Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square... Joey Tribbiani : There y'go, kids. Chandler Bing : And then the peacock bit me. Please kiss me at midnight. Joey Tribbiani : You seen Sandy? Chandler Bing : Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you. Rachel Green : Vrrbddy, the bll is drrbing. #ALL# : What? Rachel Green : The bll is drrbing! Dick Clark : In twenty seconds it'll be midnight... Chandler Bing : And the moment of joy is upon us. Joey Tribbiani : Looks like that no date pact thing worked out. Phoebe Buffay : Everybody looks so happy. I hate that. Monica Geller : Not everybody's happy. Hey Bobby! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I uh.. just thought I'd throw this out here. I'm no math whiz, but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. Phoebe Buffay : I dunno. I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight. Rachel Green : I can't kiss anyone. Monica Geller : So I'm kissing everyone? Joey Tribbiani : Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother. Ross Geller : Perfect. Perfect. So now everybody's getting kissed but me. Chandler Bing : Alright, somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me, it's midnight! Somebody kiss me! Joey Tribbiani : Alrightalrightalright. There. Ross Geller : I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back. Rachel Green : ...I think that bitch cracked my tooth. Phoebe Buffay : Do you think they have yesterday's daily news? Monica Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right. Monica Geller : Oh my God. Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression. Phoebe Buffay : Where? Ooh, come to Momma. Monica Geller : He's coming. Be cool, be cool, be cool. Guy : Nice hat. Monica Geller : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : We should do something. Whistle. Monica Geller : We are not going to whistle. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, do it. Monica Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Do it! Monica Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Do it do it do it! Monica Geller : Woo-woo! Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you did that! Monica Geller : Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn round and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'? Phoebe Buffay : I just wish there was something we could do. Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP! Monica Geller : Phoebe, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe nobody's tried this. Monica Geller : I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic. Monica Geller : Okay, he's a lawyer, who teaches sculpting on the side. And- he can dance! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! And, he's the kinda guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, y'know, and not saying 'Yeah, I understand' but really wondering what you look like naked. Monica Geller : I wish all guys could be like him. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Chandler Bing : Are there no conscious men in the city for you two? Monica Geller : He doesn't have anyone. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo. Rachel Green : Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! Jay Leno : Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one. Chandler Bing : Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax. Rachel Green : No way, forget it. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon, she's your mom! Chandler Bing : Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No? Rachel Green : Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.' Ross Geller : C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast. Chandler Bing : You can say that because she's not your mom. Ross Geller : Oh, please... Paolo : Bona sera. Rachel Green : Oh, hi sweetie. Ross Geller : When did Rigatoni get back from Rome? Monica Geller : Last night. Ross Geller : Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew. Phoebe Buffay : Hey hey hey! She's on! Paolo : Ah! Nora Bing! Jay Leno : ...Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about? Phoebe Buffay : Your mom was arrested? Chandler Bing : Shhh, busy beaming with pride. Nora Tyler Bing : ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man... Chandler Bing : Now why would she say that's embarrassing? #ALL# : Shhh. Nora Tyler Bing : ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken. Chandler Bing : THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!! Jay Leno : Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going? Nora Tyler Bing : Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love... #ALL# : Awww! Chandler Bing : This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone. Jay Leno : Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad... Nora Tyler Bing : Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms. Chandler Bing : ...And then he burst into flames. Monica Geller : Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports. Phoebe Buffay : What about Glen? He could be a Glen. Monica Geller : Nah... not-not special enough. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! How about Agamemnon? Monica Geller : Waaay too special. Nora Tyler Bing : I am famished. What do I want... Chandler Bing : Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think? Chandler Bing : Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little. Ross Geller : What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place. Nora Tyler Bing : Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. Well, I think we're ready for some tequila. Chandler Bing : I know I am. Nora Tyler Bing : Who's doing shots? Monica Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I'm in. Nora Tyler Bing : There y'go. Ross? Ross Geller : Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy. Rachel Green : Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda just, y'know, lost track of time. Ross Geller : ...But a man can change. Ross Geller : Anyone want me to appraise anything? Rachel Green : Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book. Chandler Bing : Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen. Nora Tyler Bing : Yeah, any messages for room 226? Nora Tyler Bing : You okay there, slugger? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Nora Tyler Bing : What is with you tonight? Ross Geller : Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing. Nora Tyler Bing : Okay, thank you. It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it. Ross Geller : No. It's the one he's licking. Nora Tyler Bing : She's supposed to be with you. Ross Geller : You're good. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why? Ross Geller : The girl on the cover with her nipples showing? Nora Tyler Bing : No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off. Ross Geller : When? Nora Tyler Bing : He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is. Ross Geller : The guy on the cover with his nipples showing? Nora Tyler Bing : No, it's you! Ross Geller : Please. Nora Tyler Bing : No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy... Ross Geller : Right. Nora Tyler Bing : You are gonna be fine, believe me. Ross Geller : Uh-oh... Joey Tribbiani : Uhhhh.... I'll just pee in the street. Ross Geller : Hey, is Chandler here? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right? Joey Tribbiani : Right. No big deal. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : In Bizarro World!! You broke the code! Ross Geller : What code? Joey Tribbiani : You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom! Chandler Bing : What are you guys doing out here? Ross Geller : Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, you don't have your racket. Ross Geller : No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well you didn't call and leave your grip size. Chandler Bing : Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together. Ross Geller : Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, how could you let this happen? Ross Geller : I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's... Joey Tribbiani : You don't think my mom's sexy? Ross Geller : Well... not in the same way... Joey Tribbiani : I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children? Ross Geller : Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here... Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : What're you guys doing out here? Ross Geller : Well, not playing raquetball! Joey Tribbiani : He forgot to leave his grip size! Ross Geller : He didn't get the goggles! Rachel Green : Well,sounds like you two have issues. Rachel Green : Goodbye, baby. Paolo : Ciao, bela. Ross Geller : Do they wait for me to do this? Joey Tribbiani : So are you gonna tell him? Ross Geller : Why would I tell him? Joey Tribbiani : How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might. Ross Geller : Oh... Monica Geller : What are you guys doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap! Monica Geller : ...What did I ask? Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Monica Geller : What are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here? Monica Geller : I'm not really here. Just thought I'd drop these off...on the way.. my way... Do you come here a lot? Without me? Phoebe Buffay : No. No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning? Monica Geller : How would I know? I-I wasn't here. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?! Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Ross Geller : You're my friend. I-I had to tell you. Chandler Bing : I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom? Ross Geller : Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom. Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in- Chandler Bing : You knew about this? Joey Tribbiani : Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing. Chandler Bing : I spent the entire day with you, why didn't you tell me?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened. Ross Geller : Thanks, man, big help. Chandler Bing : I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking? Ross Geller : I wasn't- I mean, I- Chandler Bing : Y'know, of all my friends, no-one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you. Ross Geller : I know- Chandler Bing : I can't believe you did this. Ross Geller : Chandler- Joey Tribbiani : Me neither, y'know what- Chandler Bing : I'm still mad at you for not telling me. Joey Tribbiani : What are you mad at me for?! Ross Geller : Chandler- Chandler Bing : You gotta let me slam the door! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! See what happens when you break the code? Ross Geller : Joey- Joey Tribbiani : Ah! Huh? Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Monica Geller : 'A Woman Undone, by Rachel Karen Green'. Rachel Green : Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'd say so. And there's no 'j' in 'engorged'. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. Monica Geller : Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Going to the hospital tonight? Monica Geller : No, you? Phoebe Buffay : No, you? Monica Geller : You just asked me. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, maybe it was a trick question. Um, Rachel can we do this now? Rachel Green : Okay. I am so hot! Joey Tribbiani : Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout. Ross Geller : I cannot believe we're having this conversation. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all. Rachel Green : Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Hi, um, 'kay. I'd like to start with a song that's about a man that I recently met, who's, um, come to be very important to me. 'Kay. Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to be awake to be my man, As long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day, There's something I have got to say... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, thank you very much, I'm gonna take a short break! Rachel Green : Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Woo! Chandler Bing : What was that? Ross Geller : Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a... Chandler Bing : Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? Joey Tribbiani : Mother-Kisser... I'll shut up. Ross Geller : Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips. Chandler Bing : Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare. Ross Geller : Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something? Chandler Bing : Because it's complicated, it's complex- Hey, you kissed my mom! Ross Geller : We're rehearsing a Greek play. Chandler Bing : That's very funny. We done now? Ross Geller : No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel? Chandler Bing : That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her. Ross Geller : Okay, 'you' can't, or you can't? Okay, that's my finger. That's, that's my knee. Still doing the play. Aaah! Phoebe Buffay : Alright, whadyou do with him? Monica Geller : Oh! You're awake! Phoebe Buffay : Look at you! How, how do you feel? Coma Guy : Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay. Monica Geller : You look good! Coma Guy : I feel good! ...Who are you? Monica Geller : Oh, sorry. Phoebe Buffay : I'm Phoebe Buffay. Monica Geller : I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you. Phoebe Buffay : Well, we both have. Coma Guy : So, the Etch-a-Sketch is from you guys? Phoebe Buffay : Well, actually it's just from me. Monica Geller : I got you the foot massager. Phoebe Buffay : You know who shaved you? That was me. Monica Geller : I read to you. Phoebe Buffay : I sang. Hah! Coma Guy : Well,... thanks. Monica Geller : Oh, my pleasure. Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome. Coma Guy : So. I guess I'll see you around. Phoebe Buffay : What, that's it? Monica Geller : "See you around?" Coma Guy : Well, what do you want me to say? Monica Geller : Oh, I don't know. Maybe, um, "That was nice?" Admit something to me? "I'll call you?" Coma Guy : Alright, I'll call you. Phoebe Buffay : I don't think you mean that. Monica Geller : This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then- we just get nothing back! And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up, and "See you around!" Let's go, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma. Nora Tyler Bing : Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon? Chandler Bing : No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough. Nora Tyler Bing : Alright, well, be good, I love you. Chandler Bing : You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect. Nora Tyler Bing : O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid. Chandler Bing : Really stupid. Nora Tyler Bing : Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now? Chandler Bing : Yeah. No. No... Ross Geller : Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door. Joey Tribbiani : Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything. Ross Geller : You're kidding. Joey Tribbiani : No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?" Ross Geller : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?" Ross Geller : 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?" Joey Tribbiani : That makes more sense. Ross Geller : So, what's going on now? Joey Tribbiani : I dunno, I've been standing here spelling it out for you! I don't hear anything. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Ross Geller : Whaddya see? Joey Tribbiani : Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run! Nora Tyler Bing : You okay, kiddo? Chandler Bing : Yeah, okay. Nora Tyler Bing : Alright. Chandler Bing : Nice save. Ross Geller : Mrs. Bing. Nora Tyler Bing : Mr. Geller. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : You mean that? Chandler Bing : Yeah, why not. So I told her. Ross Geller : Yeah? How'd it go? Chandler Bing : Awful. Awful. Couldn'ta gone worse. Ross Geller : Well, howdya feel? Chandler Bing : Pretty good! I told her. Ross Geller : Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? But.. we don't have to go down that road. Rachel Green : Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'. Monica Geller : What's a 'niffle'? Joey Tribbiani : You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'. Rachel Green : Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist... Ross Geller : Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those! Rachel Green : Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it! #ALL# : Nooo! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, we're done. Monica Geller : Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, did you really read all these baby books? Ross Geller : Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. Chandler Bing : And, we're done with the yogurt. Phoebe Buffay : Sorry. Monica Geller : Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? Nice talk, Aunt Syl. You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? This is your baby. Hi Daddy! Ross Geller : Hello! Joey Tribbiani : How come you don't live with Mommy? How come Mommy lives with that other lady? What's a lesbian? Rachel Green : Honey, you can say it, Poconos, Poconos, it's like Poc-o-nos Paolo : Ah, poke a nose, mmm Chandler Bing : Mma, Mma, Mmaah Monica Geller : So, did I hear Poconos? Rachel Green : Yes, my sister's giving us her place for the weekend. Phoebe Buffay : Woo-hoo, first weekend away together! Monica Geller : Yeah, that's a big step. Rachel Green : I know... Chandler Bing : Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal! Ross Geller : Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be... flung by now? Rachel Green : I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally... Ross Geller : ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? I could call immigration! Joey Tribbiani : I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands... Chandler Bing : Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever! Joey Tribbiani : Need a new table. Chandler Bing : You think? Carol Willick : Hey hey, come on in! Ross Geller : Hey, hello! mmwa! I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna. Carol Willick : Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat. Ross Geller : I'm pretty sure that it is... Carol Willick : So, I got the results of the amnio today. Ross Geller : Oh, tell me, tell me, is everything, uhh....? Carol Willick : Totally and completely healthy! Ross Geller : Oh, that's great, that is great! Ross Geller : Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis? Carol Willick : Uh, that's our friend Tanya. Ross Geller : Of course it's your friend Tanya. Carol Willick : Don't you want to know about the sex? Ross Geller : The sex? Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya , yaw... Carol Willick : The sex of the baby, Ross. Ross Geller : Oh, you know the sex of the baby? Oh, oh-oh-oh! Carol Willick : Do you want to know? Ross Geller : No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! Or isn't... Susan Bunch : Oh, hello Ross! Ross Geller : Susan... Susan Bunch : So, so, did you hear? Ross Geller : Yes, we did, everything's A-OK! Susan Bunch : Oh, that's so... It really is...do we know...? Carol Willick : Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be... Ross Geller : Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here! Susan Bunch : Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be? Carol Willick : Mm-hmmm Ross Geller : Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be? Carol Willick : It's a... Ross Geller : No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go. Carol Willick : Well, thanks for the books. Ross Geller : No problem, ok, mmmwa oh, mmmwa Susan... Susan Bunch : All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? Carol Willick : Hello? Ross Geller : Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. Chandler Bing : Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one? Joey Tribbiani : That's the rule. Chandler Bing : What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table! Joey Tribbiani : How'd you get to that? Chandler Bing : Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio Joey Tribbiani : You knew about that? Chandler Bing : Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, ok, How about if we split it? Chandler Bing : What do you mean, like, buy it together? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah Chandler Bing : You think we're ready for something like that? Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Chandler Bing : Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out? Joey Tribbiani : Why, are you moving out? Chandler Bing : I'm not moving out. Joey Tribbiani : You'd tell me if you were moving out right Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip... Joey Tribbiani : Aw, I know all about Kip! Chandler Bing : It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly. Joey Tribbiani : Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me? Chandler Bing : Aw, don't do that Phoebe's Assistant : We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, thanks. Phoebe's Assistant : Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum Paolo : Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here? Paolo : Uh, Racquela tell me you massage, eh? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Racquela's right, yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started. Paolo : Uh, I am, uh, being naked? Phoebe Buffay : Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked! Rachel Green : I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows.... Monica Geller : And Monica knows... Ross Geller : Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know! Monica Geller : Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me. Joey Tribbiani : So what's it gonna be? Ross Geller : Waitohheyhuh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know! Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt! Joey Tribbiani : Or an uncle... Chandler Bing : Hey Phoebe! Ross Geller : Hi Pheebs! Rachel Green : Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Monica Geller : Phoebe, what's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts. Customer : Hey, can we get some cappuccino over here? Rachel Green : Oh, right, that's me! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on. Chandler Bing : Fine. Monica Geller : Phoebe, what is it? Phoebe Buffay : All right, you know Paolo? Ross Geller : I'm familiar with his work, yes... Phoebe Buffay : Well, he made a move on me. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, store will be open tomorrow! Chandler Bing : More coffee over here, please! Monica Geller : Well, what happened? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. Chandler Bing : Ooooohh! Ross Geller : My God. Monica Geller : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, I'm sure. And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. Monica Geller : Was it...? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there. Guys : Oooooo.... Rachel Green : "Ooo," what? Phoebe Buffay : Uma Thurman. Monica Geller : Oh! Ross Geller : The actress! Ross Geller : Thanks Rach. Chandler Bing : So what are you gonna do? Ross Geller : You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, you have to tell her. Joey Tribbiani : Feminist issue. That's where I went! Phoebe Buffay : She is gonna hate me. Ross Geller : Yeah, well... Joey Tribbiani : Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? Chandler Bing : That's patio furniture! Joey Tribbiani : So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course! Chandler Bing : What about the birds? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something." Chandler Bing : You pick one. Joey Tribbiani : All right, how about the ladybugs? Chandler Bing : Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining! Joey Tribbiani : Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds! Chandler Bing : Not like that, I won't! Kip would have liked the birds! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Are you moving out? Rachel Green : No, these aren't all my suitcases. This one's Paolo's. Phoebe Buffay : Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec? Rachel Green : Well, sure...just a sec, though, 'cause Paolo's on his way over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ok, um, ok, um, Rachel Green : Oh, Pheebs, Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : Ok, um, we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. Rachel Green : Ok, thanks Pheebs Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies Rachel Green : All right, well, you're right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had. Phoebe Buffay : Which proves that I never lie. Rachel Green : I guess you don't. Phoebe Buffay : Paolo made a pass at me. Chandler Bing : So, what do you think? Ross Geller : I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen. Chandler Bing : I know! Monica Geller : So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads? Joey Tribbiani : Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play! Monica Geller : Heads up Ross! Score! You suck! Phoebe Buffay : Are you okay? Rachel Green : I need some milk. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I've got milk Here you go... Oh! Better? Rachel Green : No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so..." Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed! Phoebe Buffay : I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on! Rachel Green : Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened! Phoebe Buffay : I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! Phoebe Buffay : No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about? Rachel Green : I don't know...right, he's the pig! Phoebe Buffay : Such a pig! Rachel Green : Oh, God, he's such a pig, Phoebe Buffay : Oh he's like a... Rachel Green : He's like a big disgusting... Phoebe Buffay : ...like a... Rachel Green : ...pig...pig man! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, good! Ok... Rachel Green : Oh, but he was my pig man...how did I not see this? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I know! It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you... Rachel Green : Ok, Ok, Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : The end. Rachel Green : Oh, God... Phoebe Buffay : Should I not have told you? Rachel Green : No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better... Phoebe Buffay : I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so... Monica Geller : We should get over there and see if she's okay. Just one...second! Score! Game! Come on. Ross Geller : Ah...ooh! Well, looks like, uh, we kicked your butts. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team. Ross Geller : Come on, two on one. Chandler Bing : What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in! Ross Geller : What, now? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo! Chandler Bing : My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! Paolo : No, that's cold, that's cold, that's... Ross Geller : How's it going? Monica Geller : Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, , Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Paolo : Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok bye-bye. Monica Geller : Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles. Paolo : Grazie. Ross Geller : Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just look at her... Ross Geller : Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she's not overwhelmed... Monica Geller : Oh, you're right. Ross Geller : ...and I really think it should be me. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : You all right? Rachel Green : Ooh, I've been better... Ross Geller : Come here. Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you. Rachel Green : Oh, Ross... Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. Ross Geller : Huh. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, you're so great! Ross Geller : Ohhhh Monica Geller : Ooh...hey honey, are you all right? Rachel Green : Oh... Phoebe Buffay : You ok? Rachel Green : ...medium...hmm...any cookies left? Phoebe Buffay : Yep! Ross Geller : See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process. Rachel Green : No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want Ross Geller : Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo. Rachel Green : No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I-I'm, I'm having a boy? Rachel Green : Uh...no. No, no, in fact, you're not having a boy. Ross Geller : Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! Huh, am I having a boy? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, you're having a boy! Ross Geller : I'm having a boy! Oh, I'm having a boy! Chandler Bing : Wha- Joey Tribbiani : Wha- Chandler Bing : What is it? Ross Geller : I'm having a boy! I-I'm having a boy! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Chandler Bing : We already knew that! Ross Geller : I'm having a son. Um... Monica Geller : Yes! And that would be a shut-down! Chandler Bing : Shut-out!! Monica Geller : Where are you guys going? Come on, one more game! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, it's 2:30 in the morning! Chandler Bing : Yeah, get out! Monica Geller : You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, and I'm gone. Chandler Bing : One more game? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! Rachel Green : That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock Chandler Bing : I'm sorry! Rachel Green : You have no respect for anybody's privacy! Chandler Bing : Rachel, wait, wait. Rachel Green : No, you wait! This is ridiculous! Chandler Bing : Can I just say one thing? Rachel Green : What? What?! Chandler Bing : That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas. Rachel Green : Oh!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower. Roger : That's pretty much it. Phoebe Buffay : Oops! Roger : But you tell it really well, sweetie. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you. Roger : Okay. I'll miss you. Phoebe Buffay : Isn't he great? Rachel Green : He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know? Monica Geller : So, you think you'll do it on his couch? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know? Vinyl. Rachel Green : Okaaay. Any of you guys want anything else? Chandler Bing : Oh, yes, could I have one of those. Rachel Green : No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else? Chandler Bing : Okay. Roger : Did I, uh, did I miss something? Chandler Bing : No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies. Ross Geller : You what? Wh what were you doing seeing her boobies? Chandler Bing : It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts. Rachel Green : Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts. Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies. Rachel Green : Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice. Chandler Bing : Okaaay, rock, hard place, me. Roger : You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops. Chandler Bing : Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that? Roger : Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance. Chandler Bing : Huh. Roger : I mean hey! I just met you, I don't know you from Adam. ...Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty. Chandler Bing : Uhhuh, how did you know that? Roger : It's textbook. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right? #ALL# : Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib! Monica Geller : Hey, how long are you in the city? Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. I don't know this one. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is my friend Roger. Roger : Hi. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger. Roger : You too, sir. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : What happened to the, uh, puppet guy? Joey Tribbiani : Dad, dad. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny! Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late now Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? Did you know this isn't Ma? Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. So how long you been... Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships? Joey Tribbiani : Since then?! Joey Tribbiani Sr. : No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love? Joey Tribbiani : ...I d'know. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes. Joey Tribbiani : You're one to talk. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women. Joey Tribbiani : Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you. Joey Tribbiani : It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. That'd be cool.... This blows! Rachel Green : I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... Why can't you stop staring at my breasts? Chandler Bing : What? What? Rachel Green : Did you not get a good enough look the other day? Ross Geller : Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I don't see that happening? Rachel Green : C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat. Chandler Bing : Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.' Monica Geller : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : It's Phoebe. Roger : And Rog. Monica Geller : C'mon up. Chandler Bing : Oh, good. Rog is here. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter with Rog? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy. Ross Geller : What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad. Ross Geller : Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian? Roger : I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail. Ross Geller : Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why? Roger : I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you... Monica Geller : Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing. Roger : Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents. Ross Geller : That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures! Monica Geller : Oh! So you think I'm a failure! Phoebe Buffay : Isn't he good? Ross Geller : Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying... Monica Geller : Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better! Ross Geller : Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good! Rachel Green : You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. Roger : That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay? Roger : Geez, we're gonna be late, sweetie... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon. Monica Geller : You're welcome. Roger : Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love. Monica Geller : Hate that guy! Joey Tribbiani : Night, you guys. Chandler Bing : Oh look, it's the woman we ordered. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Can, uh, can we help you? Ronni Rapalono : Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : I'm Joey Tribbiani. Ronni Rapalono : Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip? Chandler Bing : Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know? Ronni Rapalono : Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee. Chandler Bing : Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys. Ronni Rapalono : That's a good one! Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Hey, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Dad, Ronni's here. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Huh? Ronni Rapalono : Hi. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here? Ronni Rapalono : Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Thank you. Uh... Chandler Bing : So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk? Ronni Rapalono : Look, I uh, I shouldn'ta come. I-I'd better get going, I don't wanna miss the last train. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : I don't want you taking that thing. Ronni Rapalono : Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here? Joey Tribbiani : Who-ah-ho. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : We'll go to a hotel. Ronni Rapalono : We'll go to a hotel. Joey Tribbiani : No you won't. Ronni Rapalono : No we won't. Joey Tribbiani : If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : You're gonna keep an eye on us? Joey Tribbiani : That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend. Ronni Rapalono : Wow. He's strict. Joey Tribbiani : Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room. Ronni Rapalono : Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid. Chandler Bing : C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late." Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : What kinda change? Joey Tribbiani : Well, either you break it off with Ronni Joey Tribbiani Sr. : I can't do that! Joey Tribbiani : Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right! Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Yeah, but this is Joey Tribbiani : I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room! Chandler Bing : Hey, Kicky. What're you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear. Chandler Bing : Well, you're gonna. Joey Tribbiani : I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls... Chandler Bing : Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking... Chandler Bing : Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave? Joey Tribbiani : No. Chandler Bing : No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married." Joey Tribbiani : You really think so? Chandler Bing : Yeah. I really do. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Get off! Ronni Rapalono : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi...May I help you? Ronni Rapalono : Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours? Monica Geller : Okay...who are you? Ronni Rapalono : Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rappelano? The mistress? Monica Geller : Oh, c'mon in. Ronni Rapalono : Thanks. Rachel Green : Hi, I'm Rachel. Ronni Rapalono : Hi. Rachel Green : Bathroom's up there. Ronni Rapalono : Great. Rachel Green : Hey, listen, Ronni, how long would you say Chandler's been in the shower? Ronni Rapalono : Oh, like, uh, five minutes? Rachel Green : Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. Hey, Mr. Trib. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Hey. Morning, dear. Rachel Green : Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter with you?! Rachel Green : I thought it was Chandler! Chandler Bing : What? What? Rachel Green : You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing! Chandler Bing : Sorry, my my thing was in there with me. #ALL# : Hey, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : How's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys. Phoebe Buffay : So what's going on? Monica Geller : Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger. Ross Geller : I dunno, there's just something about... Chandler Bing : Basically we just feel that he's... Rachel Green : We hate that guy. #ALL# : Yeah. Hate him. Ross Geller : We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out? #ALL# : ...No, we hate him. Rachel Green : We're sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Ma! What're you doing here? Gloria Tribbiani : I came to give you this and this. Joey Tribbiani : Oww! Big ring! Gloria Tribbiani : Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. Joey Tribbiani : Hold on, you-you knew? Gloria Tribbiani : Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please! Joey Tribbiani : So then how could you I mean, how could you?! Gloria Tribbiani : Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby. Joey Tribbiani : Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you? Gloria Tribbiani : Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary. Joey Tribbiani : I'm...happy...for you? Gloria Tribbiani : Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way it was. Joey Tribbiani : Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want. Gloria Tribbiani : I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did. So tell me. Did you see her? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is. Gloria Tribbiani : That's sweet. Could I take her? Joey Tribbiani : With this ring? No contest. Roger : What's wrong, sweetie? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, nothing. Roger : Aaaah, what's wrong, c'mon. Phoebe Buffay : It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't. Roger : Oh. They don't. Phoebe Buffay : But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little... Roger : What? Phoebe Buffay : Intense and creepy. Roger : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : But I don't. Me, Phoebe. Roger : Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way. Phoebe Buffay : You're not? See, that's why you're so great! Roger : Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'. Monica Geller : So you talked to your dad, huh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today. Rachel Green : Wow. Chandler Bing : Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain. Ross Geller : So Joey, you okay? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes. Rachel Green : Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them. Chandler Bing : If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. #ALL# : Hey, Pheebs. Monica Geller : How's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger. #ALL# : Awww. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, right. #ALL# : Aaawwwwww!! Rachel Green : What happened? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Joey. What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. Monica Geller : Joey!! What the hell were you doing?! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry. Wrong boobies. Monica Geller : Hello, Joey. Joey Tribbiani Sr. : Oh! ...Hello, dear. Joey Tribbiani : I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you. Ross Geller : She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. Chandler Bing : Any contact? Ross Geller : She lent me an egg once. Joey Tribbiani : You're in! Ross Geller : Aw, right. Woman : Hi, Ross. Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third... Joey Tribbiani : Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks. Ross Geller : An egg? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg." Chandler Bing : I think it's winning. Ross Geller : I think it's insane. Chandler Bing : She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend. Joey Tribbiani : Think it'll work? Chandler Bing : No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg. Monica Geller : You can not do this. Rachel Green : Do what, do what? Monica Geller : Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night. Rachel Green : No! Phoebes! Don't you remember why you dumped the guy? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day! Monica Geller : But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do. Rachel Green : Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night? Joey Tribbiani : Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, listen, about tonight... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend. Chandler Bing : Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a... Joey Tribbiani : Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this. Ross Geller : Hi. She said yes. Chandler Bing : Yes! Way to go, man! Still got the egg, huh? Joey Tribbiani : How do I look? Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, I... don't... care. Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess. Lorraine : Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice. Chandler Bing : ...And what did you bring? Lorraine : She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice. Chandler Bing : Janice? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh.... my.... God. Chandler Bing : Hey, it's Janice. Chandler Bing : Ok, I'm makin' a break for it, I'm goin' out the window. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down. Chandler Bing : Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months! Joey Tribbiani : Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!! Rachel Green : Ok, ok, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney. Monica Geller : Which one was Pete Carney? Rachel Green : Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. "Was it good for you?" Monica Geller : Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two monthsI didn't get to win once. Rachel Green : How did we end up with these jerks? We're good people! Monica Geller : I don't know. Maybe we're some kinda magnets. Phoebe Buffay : I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch. Monica Geller : There's more beer, right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual. Rachel Green : Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect. Monica Geller : Ok, well, what kind of ritual? Phoebe Buffay : Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us. Rachel Green : Or? Phoebe Buffay : Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks. Monica Geller : Burning's good. Rachel Green : Burning's good. Yeah, I got stuff to burn. Lorraine : You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes. Joey Tribbiani : Good for you. Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters? Janice Litman Goralnik : By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads. Chandler Bing : That's OK. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty. Joey Tribbiani : We can't do that. Chandler Bing : What? What can't you do? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, we might be leaving now. Chandler Bing : Tell me it's "you and me" we. Joey Tribbiani : She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it. Chandler Bing : Ok, you can not do this to me. Joey Tribbiani : You're right, I'm sorry. You're right. Lorraine : Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please? Joey Tribbiani : I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I hope she throws up on you. Chandler Bing : So... Janice Litman Goralnik : Just us. Chandler Bing : Oh, what a crappy night! Janice Litman Goralnik : Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom. Chandler Bing : Excuse me. How ya doin'? Janice Litman Goralnik : So, do we have the best friends or what? Chandler Bing : Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV? Janice Litman Goralnik : I will go for that drink. Chandler Bing : You got it. Good woman! Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne? Janice Litman Goralnik : Each. Chandler Bing : That's right, each. Oh, and a uh Rob Roy. I've always wanted to know... Janice Litman Goralnik : Happy Valentine's Day! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened? Chandler Bing : No... no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Kiss me! Monica Geller : Oh, Chandler, sorry. Monica Geller : Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hi, Monica. Chandler Bing : Ok, well, this was very special. Monica Geller : Rach, come see who's out here! Rachel Green : Oh my god. Janice, hi! Chandler Bing : Janice is gonna go away now. Monica Geller : I'll be right back. Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, look who it is. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa. Chandler Bing : Oh, good, Joey's home now. Janice Litman Goralnik : This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall. Monica Geller : Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. He just happened to call. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? Ross Geller : I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half. Kristin : That's funny. Who are they? Ross Geller : The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend. Kristin : You mean they're lovers. Ross Geller : If you wanna put a label on it. Kristin : Wow, uh, anything else I should know? Ross Geller : Nope, nope, that's it. Ross Geller : Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. Helloo! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so now we need, um sage branches and the sacramental wine. Monica Geller : All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca. Phoebe Buffay : Um, that's ok! Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man. Rachel Green : Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place. Monica Geller : Can we just start throwing things in? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, yeah, ok. Oh, OK. Rachel Green : Ok, Barry's letters. Adam Ritter's boxer shorts. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah. Monica Geller : Look, here's a picture of Scotty Jared naked. Rachel Green : Hey he's wearing a sweater. Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Eww! Rachel Green : And here we have the last of Paulo's grappa. Monica Geller : Hey, Rachel, isn't that stuff almost pure... Chandler Bing : How can I dump this woman on Valentine's day? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's. Chandler Bing : Oh, man. In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hello, funny Valentine. Chandler Bing : Hi, Just Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna! Joey Tribbiani : If you don't do it, I will. Ross Geller : So, um, what do you do for a living? Kristin : Well, um, for the past few years I've been working.. ...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major. Carol Willick : Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you. Susan Bunch : I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad. Kristin : I guess. Ross Geller : Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us? Carol Willick : Oh, no no no. I'm fine. I'm fine. Ross Geller : Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin... ...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major! Fireman No. 1 : What do we got there? Fireman No. 2 : A piece of something: boxer shorts, greeting cards, and what looks like a half-charred pictureWow, that guy's hairier than the Chief! Monica Geller : You know, it's a really funny story how this happened. Fireman No. 3 : It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control. Fireman No. 1 : You're our third call tonight. Rachel Green : Really? Fireman No. 2 : Oh, sure, Valentine's is our busiest night of the year. Janice Litman Goralnik : I brought you something. Chandler Bing : Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. Chan and Jan Forever. Janice Litman Goralnik : I had them made special. Chandler Bing : Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out. Janice Litman Goralnik : That's fine. Chandler Bing : It is? Janice Litman Goralnik : Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end. Chandler Bing : Oh no, you see, actually it is. Janice Litman Goralnik : No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing. Chandler Bing : Oh, no I don't. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed? Chandler Bing : I did, but... Janice Litman Goralnik : You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya. Chandler Bing : Call me! Carol Willick : It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine. Ross Geller : You did so. I swear, I swear How long has she been in the bathroom? Carol Willick : Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone. Ross Geller : Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years. Carol Willick : That could be it. Ross Geller : Oh, god. You know, this is still pretty hot. Carol Willick : Mushroom. Smile. They won't all be like this. Some women might even stay through dinner. Sorry, that's not funny Ross Geller : No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you. Carol Willick : Oh, I love you too. But... Ross Geller : No but, no but. Carol Willick : You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you. Ross Geller : That's easy for you to say, you found one already. Carol Willick : All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set. Carol Willick : Not her. Fireman No. 3 : We get off around midnight, why don't we pick you up then? Rachel Green : So, um, will you bring the truck? Fireman No. 3 : I'll even let you ring the bell. Rachel Green : Oh, my god. Phoebe Buffay : See, there you go, the cleansing works! Monica Geller : They're nice guys. Rachel Green : Oh, they're firemen guys. Fireman No. 1 : You guys tell them you were married? Fireman No. 2 : No way! Fireman No. 3 : Are you kidding? My girlfriend doesn't know, I'm not gonna tell them! Rachel Green : Coffee. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Rachel Green : Cappuccino. Ross Geller : Grazie. Rachel Green : And a nice hot cider for Monica. Monica Geller : Aww, thank you. Uh Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Monica Geller : Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser? Rachel Green : Oh! That's why. I'm sorry! Woman : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you. Mrs. Tedlock : Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day. Chandler Bing : Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really. Nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know... Chandler Bing : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Never mind. But it was going to be really good. Ross Geller : What's going on? #ALL# : What is it? Chandler Bing : So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. #ALL# : That's great! Chandler Bing : So.... I quit. #ALL# : Why? Chandler Bing : Why? This was supposed to be a temp job! Monica Geller : Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years. Chandler Bing : If I took this promotion, it'd be like admitting that this is what I actually do. Phoebe Buffay : So was it a lot more money? Chandler Bing : It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS. Rachel Green : ... the WENUS? Chandler Bing : Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term. Rachel Green : Oh. That WENUS. Joey Tribbiani : So what're you going to do? Chandler Bing : I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do. I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef. Monica Geller : Um... hi there. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so.... Chandler Bing : Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah! Monica Geller : Well, what kind of food is he looking for? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know! So, what do you think? Chandler Bing : Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Oh Monica! Guess what! Chandler Bing : Can you see my nipples through this shirt? Rachel Green : No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there. Phoebe Buffay : Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man? Chandler Bing : Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor a-gogo. I added the "a-gogo." Rachel Green : Career counselor? Chandler Bing : Hey, you guys all know what you want to do. Rachel Green : I don't! Chandler Bing : Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream. Ross Geller : Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech. Monica Geller : Oh, I love my life, I love my life! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Brian's Song! Rachel Green : The meeting with the guy went great? Monica Geller : So great! He showed me where the restaurant's going to be. It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, not too small. Just right. Chandler Bing : Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears? Monica Geller : So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises. Rachel Green : What are you going to make? Phoebe Buffay : Yummy noises. Rachel Green : And Monica, what are you going to make? Monica Geller : I don't know. I don't know. It's just going to be so great! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! I know what you could make! I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. Ross Geller : Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood? Joey Tribbiani : How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. Ross Geller : OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a good place if you're not dating a puma? Chandler Bing : Who are you going out with? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, is this the bug lady? Rachel Green : Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross. Ross Geller : Her name is Celia. She's not a bug lady. She's curator of insects at the museum. Rachel Green : So what are you guys going to do? Ross Geller : Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey. Chandler Bing : And he's not speaking metaphorically. Joey Tribbiani : So.... back to your place...you thinking, maybe... huh-huh? Ross Geller : Well, I don't know.... huh-huh.... but I'm hoping huh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal. Ross Geller : Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel... Celia : I can't stand this! He's got his claws in my... Ross Geller : Alright... Monica Geller : OK, try this salmon mousse. Joey Tribbiani : Mmmm. Good. Monica Geller : Is it better than the other salmon mousse? Joey Tribbiani : It's creamier. Monica Geller : Yeah, well, is that better? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know? Rachel Green : My God! What happened to you? Chandler Bing : Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation." Phoebe Buffay : That's so great! 'Cause you already know how to do that! Chandler Bing : Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something. Rachel Green : Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt! Monica Geller : Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up. Chandler Bing : Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you. Monica Geller : It's supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche. Chandler Bing : Well.... it is amouz-ing... Monica Geller : Hello? Oh, hi Wendy! Yeah, eight o'clock. What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?... OK, great. All right, I'll see you then. Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Ten dollars an hour for what? Monica Geller : Oh, I asked one of the waitresses at work if she'd help me out. Rachel Green : Waitressing? Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh. Monica Geller : Well... of course I thought of you! But... but... Rachel Green : But, but? Monica Geller : But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress. Rachel Green : Oh! I see. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics. Chandler Bing : You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. Amouz-bouche? Celia : Talk to me. Ross Geller : OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning... Celia : No no no. Talk... dirty. Ross Geller : Wha... what, here? Celia : Yes... Ross Geller : Ah.... Celia : Say something..... hot. Ross Geller : Er.... um..... Celia : What? Ross Geller : Um... uh.... vulva. Joey Tribbiani : Vulva? Ross Geller : Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling. Joey Tribbiani : Whoaa!! You cuddled? How many times?? Ross Geller : Shut up! It was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know? Joey Tribbiani : What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what you think other people might be doing to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try something on me. Ross Geller : Please be kidding. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Come on! Just, just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. Ross Geller : OK. I'm in my apartment... Joey Tribbiani : ....yeah... what else? Ross Geller : That's it. I'm in my apartment, you're not there, we're not having this conversation. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, look, I'll start, OK? Ross Geller : Joey, please. Joey Tribbiani : Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. Ross Geller : Wow. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, now you say something. Ross Geller : I... ahem... I really don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Come on! You like this woman, right? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You want to see her again, right? Ross Geller : Sure. Joey Tribbiani : Well if you can't talk dirty to me, how're you going to talk dirty to her? Now tell me you want to caress my butt! Ross Geller : OK, turn around. I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, alright. I'm around. Go ahead. Ross Geller : Ahem... I want.... OK, I want to... feel your... hot, soft skin with my lips. Joey Tribbiani : There you go! Keep going. Keep going! Ross Geller : I, er... Ross Geller : I want to take my tongue... and... Ross Geller : ....and.... Joey Tribbiani : Say it... say it! Ross Geller : ...run it all over your body until you're... trembling with... with... Chandler Bing : ....with?? Ross Geller : Funny story! Joey Tribbiani : You're not going to believe this! Chandler Bing : It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler, while you were sleeping that guy from your old job called again. Chandler Bing : Again? Joey Tribbiani : And again, and again, and again... Hello? And again. Chandler Bing : Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? Yeah, I miss you too. Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? Well, that's very generous er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! I'll see you on Monday! Chandler Bing : Well? Phoebe Buffay : Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube. Chandler Bing : Look at this! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! You have a window! Chandler Bing : Yes indeedy! With a beautiful view of... Phoebe Buffay : Oh look! That guy's peeing! Chandler Bing : OK, that's enough of the view. Check this out, look at this. Sit down, sit down. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Chandler Bing : This is great! Helen, could you come in here for a moment? Chandler Bing : Thank you Helen, that'll be all. Chandler Bing : Last time I do that, I promise. Monica Geller : Wendy, we had a deal! Yeah, you promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! Rachel Green : Who was that? Monica Geller : Wendy bailed. I have no waitress. Rachel Green : Oh... that's too bad. Bye bye. Monica Geller : Ten dollars an hour. Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Twelve dollars an hour. Rachel Green : Mon. I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around. Monica Geller : You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... twenty dollars an hour. Rachel Green : Done. Rachel Green : Well hello! Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat? Monica Geller : Hi Steve! Steve (drug addict) : Hello, Monica. Hello, greeter girl. Monica Geller : This is Rachel. Steve (drug addict) : Yeah, OK. Phoebe Buffay : Mmmmmm! Everything smells so delicious! You know, I can't remember a time I smelt such a delicious combination of of, OK, smells. Steve (drug addict) : It's a lovely apartment. Monica Geller : Oh, thank you. Would you like a tour? Steve (drug addict) : I was just being polite, but, alright. Rachel Green : What's up? Phoebe Buffay : In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja? Rachel Green : OK, OK. I'm with you, Cheech. OK. Steve (drug addict) : Is it dry in here? Rachel Green : Let me, let me get you some wine! Monica Geller : Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... ... with just a touch of mints... and... ... ginger. Steve (drug addict) : Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic! Monica Geller : I'm so glad you liked them! Steve (drug addict) : Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of them! Monica Geller : Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets. Steve (drug addict) : Tartlets. Tartlets. Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Can I help you with anything? Steve (drug addict) : You know, I don't know what I'm looking for. Steve (drug addict) : Ah, cool! Taco shells! You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope. Monica Geller : You know that? You don't want to spoil your appetite. Steve (drug addict) : Hey! Sugar-O's! Monica Geller : You know, if you just wait another... six and a half minutes... Steve (drug addict) : Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! Monica Geller : No, we don't. Steve (drug addict) : Oh, OK. Oh, sorry. Monica Geller : Why don't you just have a seat here? OK... give me the Gummi-bears. Steve (drug addict) : No. Monica Geller : Give them to me. Steve (drug addict) : Alright, we'll share. Monica Geller : No, give me the... Steve (drug addict) : Well then you can't have any. Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! "Help! I'm drowning! Help!" Monica Geller : That's it! Dinner is over! Steve (drug addict) : What? Monica Geller : What? Steve (drug addict) : Why? Monica Geller : Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet? Steve (drug addict) : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What a tool! Rachel Green : You don't want to work for a guy like that. Ross Geller : Yeah! Monica Geller : I know... it's just... I thought this was, you know... it. Ross Geller : Look, you'll get there. You're an amazing chef. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! You know all those yummy noises? I wasn't faking. Joey Tribbiani : So, er... how did it go with Celia? Ross Geller : Oh, I was unbelievable. Joey Tribbiani : All right, Ross! Ross Geller : I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! And the... huh-huh? Ross Geller : Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh... Joey Tribbiani : You cuddled. Ross Geller : Yeah, which was nice. Phoebe Buffay : You guys wanna try and catch a late movie or something? Rachel Green : Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, where the hell is he? Chandler Bing : Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! Whooooaaaa.... Phoebe Buffay : How's this? Steve (drug addict) : Eeeee! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry. How about over here? Steve (drug addict) : Aaaaah! Phoebe Buffay : See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? Steve (drug addict) : No. Phoebe Buffay : What about this? Steve (drug addict) : Aaaaahhh!! Phoebe Buffay : There you go! Chandler Bing : This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now. Joey Tribbiani : Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss? Chandler Bing : Its Phoebe! Hi! Ursula : Hi. Okay, will that be all? Chandler Bing : Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here? Ursula : Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here. Joey Tribbiani : No, no... how come you are working here? Ursula : Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute. Chandler Bing : Can we start over? Ursula : Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. Chandler Bing : No, no, no! Ross Geller : I dont know whether hes testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, "supposedly" by accident. Rachel Green : No, yeah, Ive done that. Ross Geller : And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword. Rachel Green : Ive never done that. Chandler Bing : All right, now look at her and tell me she doesnt look exactly like her sister. Joey Tribbiani : Im sayin I see a difference. Chandler Bing : Theyre twins! Joey Tribbiani : I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot! Chandler Bing : You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Lets not do that any more. #ALL# : Hey guys! Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ooh, fun! Okay... um, Liam Neeson. Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Phoebe Buffay : Morly Safer. Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Phoebe Buffay : The woman who cuts my hair! Monica Geller : Okay, look, this could be a really long game. Chandler Bing : Your sister Ursula. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, really. Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah, she works over at that place, uh... Phoebe Buffay : Rifts. Yeah, I know. Chandler Bing : Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years. Phoebe Buffay : Hmmm? Yeah. So, um, is she fat? Joey Tribbiani : Not from where I was standin. Phoebe Buffay : where were you standing? Rachel Green : Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just dont get along? Phoebe Buffay : Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?" Ross Geller : Oh, Pheebs, I'm sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class. Chandler Bing : Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym. Rachel Green : So, is this just gonna be you and Carol? Ross Geller : No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team. Rachel Green : Well, isnt, isnt that gonna be weird? Ross Geller : No, no. I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think I'm pretty comfortable with the whole situation. Monica Geller : Ross, thats my jacket. Ross Geller : I know. Woman : Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl. Teacher : Good for you. Alrighty, next? Ross Geller : Hi, um, Im err, Im Ross Geller, and err ah... ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... ..whos next? Teacher : Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is? Ross Geller : Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend... Carol Willick : Life partner. Ross Geller : Like buddies. Susan Bunch : Like lovers. Ross Geller : You know how close women can get. Carol Willick : Susan and I live together. Ross Geller : Although I was married to her. Susan Bunch : Carol, not me. Ross Geller : Err, right. Carol Willick : Its a little complicated. Ross Geller : A little. Susan Bunch : But were fine. Ross Geller : Absolutely. So, twins... hah! Thats like two births. Ouch. Chandler Bing : And to you too, Helen. Helen : Nina Bookbinder is here to see you. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay. Send her in. Nina Bookbinder : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi, Nina. Come on in. Nina Bookbinder : You wanted to see me? Chandler Bing : Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers. Nina Bookbinder : Which is bad, because? Chandler Bing : Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack. Nina Bookbinder : Your... excuse me? Chandler Bing : WENUS. Weekly Estimated Net... Nina Bookbinder : Oh, Net Usage Statistics, right. Gotcha, gotcha. Wont happen again. I wouldnt want to do anything to hurt your... "wenus." Chandler Bing : Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that... shes really really cute. Ross Geller : It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink. Monica Geller : Ross, your little creatures got the remote again. Ross Geller : Marcel, Marcel, give Rossie the remote. Marcel. Marcel, you give Rossie the remote right now... Marce... you give Rossie the remote... Monica Geller : Great. Ross Geller : Relax, I'll fix it. Rachel Green : Cool... "Urkel" in Spanish is "Urkel." Ross Geller : How did he do this? Chandler Bing : So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long? Monica Geller : Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot. Rachel Green : Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... How long has that been there? Chandler Bing : Hey, where you been? Joey Tribbiani : I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries. Chandler Bing : Score. Joey Tribbiani : She is so hot! Chandler Bing : Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why? Joey Tribbiani : So that if we went out on a date, shed be there. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I mean, I'm not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Cool, thanks. Ross Geller : You okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah Im fine. Ross Geller : You wanna watch Laverne y Shirley? Ross Geller : Sorry. Ross Geller : Hi. Sorry Im late. Wheres, wheres Carol? Susan Bunch : Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. I'll get the information. Ross Geller : No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on. Susan Bunch : Oh, good. Thisll be fun. Teacher : Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head. Ross Geller : What? What? What? Susan Bunch : I am supposed to be the mommy? Ross Geller : Okay, I'm gonna play my sperm card one more time. Susan Bunch : Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because I'm a woman. Ross Geller : I see. So what do you propose to do? Susan Bunch : I will flip you for it. Ross Geller : Flip me for it? No, no, no... heads, heads, heads! Susan Bunch : On your back... Mom. Teacher : Alright, Mommies, take a nice deep cleansing breath. Teacher : Good. Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower. Chandler Bing : Mr. D, hows it going, sir? Mr. Douglas : Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in. Chandler Bing : And? Mr. Douglas : Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies. Chandler Bing : So what does this mean? Mr. Douglas : Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department. Chandler Bing : Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, but I slept funny, and my hair was very very – Mr. Douglas : Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone? Chandler Bing : Nina? Nina. Nina. Nina. Nina Bookbinder : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me. Nina Bookbinder : What? Chandler Bing : Would you like to have dinner sometime? Rachel Green : So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday? Phoebe Buffay : Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me. Rachel Green : Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Bath salts would be nice. Rachel Green : Ooh, okay... good. Jamie : What is this place? Frank Buffay Jr. : Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be? Jamie : I think we have an answer. Frank Buffay Jr. : Whats she doing here? Jamie : This could be Gods way of telling us to eat at home. Frank Buffay Jr. : Think she got fired at Riffs? Jamie : No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... ..bringing swordfish. are you gonna go to the, um? Frank Buffay Jr. : Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right. Jamie : It looks like her. Jamie : Um, excuse me. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Jamie : Hi, its us. Phoebe Buffay : Right, and its me. Jamie : So, so youre here too? Phoebe Buffay : Much as you are. Jamie : Your turn. Frank Buffay Jr. : Err... we know what we want. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thats good. Jamie : All we want is two Caffe Lattes. Frank Buffay Jr. : And some biscottie cookies. Phoebe Buffay : Good choice. Jamie : Definitely her. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Monica Geller : I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet? Chandler Bing : Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights. Monica Geller : Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument. Chandler Bing : Im just trying to find the right moment, you know? Rachel Green : Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?" Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Chandler Bing : You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more. Monica Geller : I'll get it. Monica Geller : Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles. Mr. Heckles : Youre doing it again. Monica Geller : Were not doing anything. Were just sitting around talking, quietly. Mr. Heckles : I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep. Rachel Green : You dont even have cats. Mr. Heckles : I could have cats. Monica Geller : Goodbye Mr.Heckles. Rachel Green : Well try to keep it down. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, my first birthday present... ..oh, this is really... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh... Sure, yeah... ..okay, it fits. Rachel Green : Are you seein her again tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Ice Capades. Chandler Bing : Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade. Joey Tribbiani : I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her. Phoebe Buffay : That you like, we get it. You like her. Great! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, well, maybe now its not okay. Joey Tribbiani : Okay... Well maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Knit, good woman, knit, knit! Chandler Bing : And thats the Chrysler Building right there. Mr. Douglas : Nina. Nina Bookbinder : Mr.Douglas... ..cool tie. Mr. Douglas : Shes still here. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan. Chandler Bing : And err, he informed me that uh, she took the news rather badly, in fact, he uh, mentioned the word frenzy. Mr. Douglas : Youre kidding? She seems so... Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no. Nina... ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all. Mr. Douglas : Thats unbelievable. Chandler Bing : And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others. Mr. Douglas : I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head. Chandler Bing : Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir. Soothing Male Voice : ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth. Teacher : Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class. Ross Geller : Susan, go deep. Carol Willick : This is impossible. Its just impossible. Susan Bunch : What is, honey? Carol Willick : What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in. Ross Geller : Carol, honey, shhh, shhh, everythings gonna be alright. Carol Willick : Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?" Susan Bunch : Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath. Susan Bunch : I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives. Susan Bunch : I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross? Ross Geller : Im gonna be a father. Rachel Green : This is just occurring to you? Ross Geller : I always knew I was havin a baby, I just never realised the baby was having me. Rachel Green : Oh, youre gonna be great! Ross Geller : Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid? Chandler Bing : You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different. Phoebe Buffay : Wherere you going? Joey Tribbiani : Out. Phoebe Buffay : With? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, could I just ask you one question? Phoebe Buffay : Have you two, you know... like... you know... you know... yet? Joey Tribbiani : Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay? Joey Tribbiani : You meant sex, right? Nina Bookbinder : Do you have a sec? Chandler Bing : Ah, sure, Nina. Whats up? Nina Bookbinder : I dont know. For the past couple days, people have been avoiding me and giving me these really strange looks. Chandler Bing : Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us. Nina Bookbinder : Maybe. But that doesnt explain why they keep taking my scissors. Chandler Bing : Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise. Nina Bookbinder : I am? Chandler Bing : Sure, why not? Nina Bookbinder : Oh my god! Youre amazing! Chandler Bing : Oh, you dont know. Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise? Helen : So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel? Nina Bookbinder : What? Chandler Bing : Helen drinks. Will you marry me? Chandler Bing : Well, I ended up telling her everything. Rachel Green : Oh, howd she take it? Chandler Bing : Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... ..on the desk. Monica Geller : Okay, I think I get how to do this. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch. Monica Geller : okay, Pheebs, theyre gone. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Are you alright? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its... Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible? Phoebe Buffay : Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend? Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us. Rachel Green : Oh... Oh, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : I mean, I know Joey is not my boyfriend, or my thermos, or anything, but... Chandler Bing : Youre not gonna lose him. Monica Geller : Hon, you gotta talk to Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Okay. Ross Geller : No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt. Phoebe Buffay : But hes falling in love with her. Rachel Green : Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious. Phoebe Buffay : Okay... Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, oh. Ursula : Oh. Ursula : Yeah, um, may we help you? Monica Geller : Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside? Rachel Green : No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! Monica Geller : Oh-my-god Rachel! Rachel! Rachel Green : Im okay! Im okay! Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please? Mr. Heckles : See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about. Rachel Green : Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Monica Geller : Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something. Nurse Sizemore : My god. You still have your Christmas lights up? Nurse Sizemore : Fill this out and bring it back to me. Rachel Green : Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Monica Geller : Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call? Rachel Green : You. Monica Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh, that is so sweet. Oh gosh, love you. Insurance? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that. Monica Geller : you don't have insurance? Rachel Green : Why, how much is this gonna cost? Monica Geller : I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars. Rachel Green : Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do? Monica Geller : Well there's not much we can do. Rachel Green : Um... unless, unless I use yours. Monica Geller : Hah, no no no no no no no no no no. Rachel Green : well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person? Monica Geller : That's insurance fraud. Rachel Green : Well, alright, then, forget it. Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow! Monica Geller : Okay, okay. I hate this. Rachel Green : Thank you. Thank you. I love you. Monica Geller : Hi, um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms . Nurse Sizemore : Why? Monica Geller : I am really an idiot. you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, I put mine. Nurse Sizemore : You are an idiot. . Monica Geller : yep, that's me, I am that stupid . Ross Geller : I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid. Chandler Bing : That's nice. Ross Geller : No, no, with him. I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me. Joey Tribbiani : Tampa Bay's got a terrible team. Ross Geller : Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field. Chandler Bing : What are you crazy? That's a baby! Joey Tribbiani : He should take the sack? Ross Geller : Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father. Chandler Bing : Hey, you're gonna be fine. You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America. You're gonna make a great dad. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive? Chandler Bing : Well, only if you order stuff. Joey Tribbiani : I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday. Ross Geller : Wo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday? Joey Tribbiani : When's that? Ross Geller : Tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening? Ross Geller : You take your time. Chandler Bing : There it is! So what're you gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula. Chandler Bing : And your friend Phoebe? Joey Tribbiani : Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys? Chandler Bing : Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit. Dr. Mitchell : ..you add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference. Dr. Mitchell : Okay, errrr, Monica? Monica Geller : Yes? ..yes, she is. Rachel Green : Hi, this is my friend Rachel. Monica Geller : Hi. Dr. Mitchell : Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell. Dr. Rosen : And I'm his friend, Dr.Rosen. Rachel Green : Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor? Dr. Rosen : Excuse me? Rachel Green : I meant er, young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach. Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Right. Rachel Green : ..so, he said it was just a sprain, and that was it. Monica Geller : Uh, you left out the stupid part. Rachel Green : Not stupid. The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said "yes." Monica Geller : I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates. Rachel Green : What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, cute doctors, doctors who are cute! Chandler Bing : Alright, what have we learned so far? The Whole Party : SURPRISE!!! Ross Geller : What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me. Rachel Green : Was that the cake? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon schmush. Monica Geller : Come on, she'll be here any minute. Rachel Green : I hope it's okay. Monica Geller : Oh... Chandler Bing : "Happy Birthday Peehe." Monica Geller : Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses. Ross Geller : Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what's going on? Ross Geller : Oh, we just... Phoebe's Friends : Surprise! Phoebe Buffay : oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! You found Betty! Oh my god! This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, Where's Joey? Chandler Bing : Did you see Betty? Ross Geller : I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!" Ross Geller : Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all? Ross Geller : I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, if somebody had come to me with the idea andndash; Ross Geller : Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing? Ross Geller : No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about? Ross Geller : No, no, Dad, I was just wondering. Ross Geller : 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that? Ross Geller : Thanks, Dad, really, I ju... you know, I just, I just needed to know, um... when did you start to feel like a father? Ross Geller : Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew. Ross Geller : So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg? Ross Geller : No, we can go to Williamsburg. Ross Geller : Eat your fish. Monica Geller : Rachel, the cute doctors are here. Rachel Green : Okay, coming! Monica Geller : Hi, come on in. Dr. Mitchell : Hey. Monica Geller : Hi, Geoffrey. Rachel Green : Hi. Dr. Rosen : Ah here, we brought wine. Dr. Mitchell : Look at this, it's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine, so how could we resist? Rachel Green : Oh, that's great. Look at that. Dr. Rosen : So, Monica, how's the ankle? Monica Geller : It's uh... Monica Geller : ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle. Rachel Green : You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um... Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses... okay... STAT! Rachel Green : Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine. Monica Geller : It will not be fine. We'll get in trouble. Rachel Green : Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss? Monica Geller : A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world, okay? Dr. Mitchell : So? Dr. Rosen : So... they sss-still seem normal. Dr. Mitchell : That's because they are. Dr. Rosen : okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into... Dr. Mitchell : Willya relax? Look around. No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. Go like this. Monica Geller : I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby. Rachel Green : I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we... Monica Geller : Sure, every time, you're such a princess... Rachel Green : You know what? Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : You know what? Monica Geller : What!? Rachel Green : You know what? Monica Geller : What!!? Rachel Green : Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother. Rachel Green : Hello! Here we go! Dr. Rosen : This is a great place. How long have you lived here? Rachel Green : Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago. Monica Geller : Yeah... ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar. Dr. Mitchell : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. Why don't you try the hummus? Dr. Rosen : So, Monica, what do you do? Rachel Green : Aahh, I'm a... chef at a restaurant uptown. Dr. Rosen : Good for you. Rachel Green : Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do. Dr. Rosen : This hummus is great. Dr. Mitchell : God bless the chickpea. Monica Geller : Oh, god, I am so spoiled... That's it! Rachel Green : And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow? Monica Geller : I used to wet my bed. Rachel Green : I use my breasts to get other people's attention. Monica Geller : We both do that! Dr. Mitchell : Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad. Monica Geller : Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you... Rachel Green : Would you excuse me for a second? Monica Geller : Remember back in freshman year? Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed. Rachel Green : Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! ...dead! Monica Geller : Ross, he's got the remote again. Ross Geller : Good. Maybe he can switch it back. Ross Geller : Maybe not. Rachel Green : Hello? Um, yeah, uh, Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here. Rachel Green : It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god... Monica Geller : Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do? Monica Geller : I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want! Rachel Green : Okay no, you do it. Monica Geller : Hello, this is Monica... Yeah??? Oh... Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down. Thank you. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms. Rachel Green : Ohhh... Okay, you were right. You were right! This was just not worth it. Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Okay, let me just change. Monica Geller : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Trouble? Joey Tribbiani : Your sister stood me up the other night. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you? Ross Geller : Well did you try calling her? Joey Tribbiani : I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ursula : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Um you, you got a minute? Ursula : Um, yeah, I'm just... ..working. Phoebe Buffay : So. Ursula : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : Um, oh, I got you a birthday present. Ursula : Oh, wow! You remembered! Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos! Phoebe Buffay : Right, like the kind you... Ursula : Right... Oh, I got something for you, too. Phoebe Buffay : How'd you know I was coming? Ursula : Um, yeah, um, twin thing. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you did this. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you... ..did this. Phoebe Buffay : So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey? Ursula : Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over. Phoebe Buffay : Does he know? Ursula : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you. Ursula : He is? Why? Phoebe Buffay : You got me. Ursula : Right. Ursula : Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad? Phoebe Buffay : So, um, are you gonna call him? Ursula : What? Do you think he likes me? Phoebe Buffay : No, Joey. Ursula : Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. Do you want some chicken? Phoebe Buffay : No. No food with a face. Ursula : You have not changed! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you too. Rachel Green : Hi, remember us? Nurse Sizemore : Mmm hmmm. Monica Geller : Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. 'cause um... Nurse Sizemore : You're that stupid. Monica Geller : I am. I'm that stupid. Rachel Green : Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check. Nurse Sizemore : Well, you know your insurance will cover that. Rachel Green : Yeah, I know... ..I'm I'm just not that bright either. Chandler Bing : Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this. Ross Geller : Do you have a point? Chandler Bing : You know, you think I would. Chandler Bing : What's up with the simian? Ross Geller : It's just a fur ball. Chandler Bing : Okay... ..whose turn is it? Ross Geller : Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'. Chandler Bing : No, no, you got zero points for 'IDNEY'. Ross Geller : I had a 'K'. Where's where's my 'K'? Ross Geller : You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'! Nurse Sizemore : You go get that animal outta here. Ross Geller : No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do. Monica Geller : What's goin' on? Chandler Bing : Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile. Rachel Green : Oh. Nurse Sizemore : Excuse me... This hospital is for people! Ross Geller : Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart! Dr. Mitchell : I'll take a look at him. Monica Geller : Oh, thank you. Monica Geller : Michael. Dr. Mitchell : Rachel. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Monica. Rachel Green : Oh. Monica Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Urse... Joey Tribbiani : ..ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, um... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen." Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge? Phoebe Buffay : : Yeah, um... You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk! Joey Tribbiani : You don't drink. Phoebe Buffay : That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Urse... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : If it was, would you stop hanging out with her? Joey Tribbiani : no. No, I, I couldn't do that. Phoebe Buffay : Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me. Joey Tribbiani : Then, uh, then I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : You know... You're gonna be really, really hard to get over. Joey Tribbiani : I know... Joey Tribbiani : I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oooh... Ross Geller : He looks so tiny. Joey Tribbiani : We just got the message. Phoebe Buffay : Is he alright? Ross Geller : Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found an 'M' and an 'O'. Chandler Bing : We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.' Ross Geller : Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now. Chandler Bing : So, you feel like a dad yet? Ross Geller : No, why? Chandler Bing : Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad. Monica Geller : Oh, look, he's waking up! Ross Geller : hey, fella! How you doing? Ross Geller : Aqui est. Monica Geller : A quin pidio el pollo General Tso? Chandler Bing : Pudo aver sido General Tso! Rachel Green : Mira, Mira, el viejo desnudo est haciendo el hula hoop! #ALL# : Ewww! #ALL# : Hola, Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hola, amigos! Monica Geller : Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. Ross Geller : Lo que sucedio es que no le gusta la tele! Monica Geller : Hey, guys. Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? : Did you bring the mail? Monica Geller : Lots of responses. Rachel Green : : Really? : Sure, we have scones left! : OK, read them to me. Phoebe Buffay : : Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... Rachel Green : : We have apple cinnamon... Monica Geller : : OK... Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : : Your Visa bill is huge! Rachel Green : Give me that! Chandler Bing : You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again? Ross Geller : I don't know. Chandler Bing : Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing? Ross Geller : No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... Chandler Bing : ...little playthings with yarn? Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Could you want her more? Ross Geller : Who? Chandler Bing : Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening. Ross Geller : Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... : Hiiii! Rachel Green : Hi! How are you? Ross Geller : We're fine, we're fine. Rachel Green : OK. Joey Tribbiani : Shut up! Chandler Bing : We're notwe're not saying anything. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : Uhhhh... Joey cried last night. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Chandler Bing : We were playing poker, alright... Joey Tribbiani : There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright? Ross Geller : Oh, guys, you should've seen him. 'Read 'em and weep.' Chandler Bing : And then he did. Rachel Green : Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play? Ross Geller : No, women are welcome to play. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it? Chandler Bing : There just don't happen to be any women in our games. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, right. Monica Geller : Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse! Rachel Green : Really. Monica Geller : I mean, that's a typical guy response. Ross Geller : Excuse me, do any of you know how to play? Phoebe Buffay : No. Rachel Green : But you could teach us. Guys : No. Chandler Bing : OK, so now we draw cards. Monica Geller : So I wouldn't need any, right? Cause I have a straight. Rachel Green : Oh, good for you! Phoebe Buffay : Congratulations! Chandler Bing : OK Phoebs, how many do you want? Phoebe Buffay : OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs. Ross Geller : No. No, uh, Phoebs? You can'tyou can't do... Rachel Green : Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! Ross Geller : No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do that. Rachel Green : Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours. Ross Geller : Oh, you're... Monica Geller : Alright, here we go. We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites. Phoebe Buffay : OOooooo! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz... Chandler Bing : OK, so at this point, the dealer... Monica Geller : Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Let's play for real. High stakes... big bucks... Ross Geller : Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy... Phoebe Buffay : But... I'm ready, so, just deal. Chandler Bing : OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. Alright babe, deal the cards. Monica Geller : Dammit, dammit, dammit! Phoebe Buffay : : Oh I see, so then, you were lying. Joey Tribbiani : About what? Phoebe Buffay : About how good your cards were. Joey Tribbiani : Heh... I was bluffing. Phoebe Buffay : A-ha! And... what is bluffing? Is it not another word for... lying? Rachel Green : OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... Guys : Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chandler Bing : Rach, Rach, we gotta settle. Rachel Green : Settle what? Chandler Bing : The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so... Ross Geller : The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game. Rachel Green : Oh. Right. Joey Tribbiani : You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright? Monica Geller : Hell no, we'll pay! Phoebe Buffay : OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready. Monica Geller : And you know what? We want a rematch. Ross Geller : Well that's fine with me. Could use the money. Rachel Green : : So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends. Ross Geller : ...Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less. Ross Geller : Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... Joey Tribbiani : ...Yeah? Ross Geller : I'm not a nice guy. Ross Geller : Alright boys, let's eat. Chandler Bing : Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria? Ross Geller : You still on that? Chandler Bing : Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? : "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!" Ross Geller : You are way off, pal. Joey Tribbiani : No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her. Ross Geller : Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one timenot any more. I justI... Ross Geller : Marcel! Where are you going with that disc? Ross Geller : You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OKif you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble. Rachel Green : Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being? Monica Geller : Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive. Phoebe Buffay : Ha. Ha, ha. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black. Monica Geller : Please! I am not as bad as Ross. Rachel Green : Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident? Monica Geller : That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand. Rachel Green : Oooooh. : Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview! Monica Geller : You're kidding! Where? Where? Rachel Green : : Sak's... Fifth... Avenue. Monica Geller : Oh, Rachel! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home. Monica Geller : Well, what's the job? Rachel Green : Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living! Monica Geller : OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. Hi! Aunt Iris : Is Tony Randall dead? Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : I don't think so. Rachel Green : Why? Aunt Iris : Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Really? Aunt Iris : No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. : Nice earrings. Phoebe Buffay : Thank y... Aunt Iris : Girls, sit down. Monica Geller : Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel... Aunt Iris : Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, I am parked at a meter. Let's do it. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else? Ross Geller : Alright. Ross Geller : I'm gonna pay for that tonight. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what! Chandler Bing : Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident? Rachel Green : Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well! #ALL# : That's great! That's wonderful! Rachel Green : Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story... Monica Geller : OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker. Joey Tribbiani : Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand. Chandler Bing : Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary? Monica Geller : Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, we should. I think we should. Ross Geller : Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those? Rachel Green : No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go. Ross Geller : Alright. Rachel Green : Alright... Ross Geller : So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones. Joey Tribbiani : But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, here's my $7.50. But I think you should know that this money is cursed. Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it. Chandler Bing : That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie. Ross Geller : Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen... Rachel Green : Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. Monica Geller : You know what? This is not over. We will play you again, and we will win, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every last dime you have, and you will hate yourselves forever. Rachel Green : Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon. Ross Geller : So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing. Rachel Green : Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy. Monica Geller : OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker? Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. Right, OK, serious poker. Monica Geller : Excuse me, where are you going? Ross Geller : Uh... to the bathroom. Monica Geller : Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker? Ross Geller : I want to go to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, well, I'm gonna order a pizza. Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then. Joey Tribbiani : That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over. Monica Geller : Alright, Cincinnati, no blinds, everybody ante. Phoebe Buffay : Yes! .... or no. Ross Geller : Alright. : Your money's mine, Green. Rachel Green : Your fly is open, Geller. Phoebe Buffay : You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence? Chandler Bing : Hey, that's... that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'! Joey Tribbiani : Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Um... I'm out. Rachel Green : I'm in. Monica Geller : Me too. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Alright, whattaya got. Ross Geller : Well, you better hop outta the shower, cause... I gotta flush. Rachel Green : Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! : Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it... Rachel Green : And your fly's still open... Rachel Green : Ha, I made you look.... Rachel Green : I couldn't be inner. Monica? Phoebe Buffay : Monica, in or out? Monica Geller : I hate this game! Phoebe Buffay : OK Joey, your bet. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. Oh, I'm out. Phoebe Buffay : Ross? Ross Geller : Oh, I am very in. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Couldn't be more out. Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Rachel. Rachel Green : Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. What do you say... want to waste another buck? Ross Geller : No, not this time. So... what'd you have? Rachel Green : I'm not telling. Ross Geller : Come on, show them to me. Rachel Green : No..! Ross Geller : Show them to me! Rachel Green : Get your hands out of there! No! Ross Geller : Let me see! Show them! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I've had dates like this. Rachel Green : Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple... Phoebe Buffay : Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants. Ross Geller : First of all, I'm not losing... Rachel Green : Oh, you are losing. Definitely losing. Ross Geller : Let's not talk about losing. Just deal the... Rachel Green : Hel-lo, Rachel Green. Ross Geller : Mee mee, mee-mee mee. Rachel Green : Excuse me. It's about the job. Rachel Green : Barbara! Hi, how are you? Uh-huh. No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? Monica Geller : Sorry, Rach. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, there's gonna be lots of other stuff. Rachel Green : Yeah... ....OK. Where were we? Oh, OK... five card draw, uh... jacks or better... nothing wild, everybody ante. Joey Tribbiani : Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this. Rachel Green : Yes, we do. Monica Geller : Alright, check. Joey Tribbiani : Check. Ross Geller : I'm in for fifty cents. Chandler Bing : Call. Phoebe Buffay : I'm in. Rachel Green : I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. Ross Geller : I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit. Rachel Green : Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that? Rachel Green : : Loser? Ross Geller : No, I fold. Rachel Green : What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it? Ross Geller : I'm in. Rachel Green : How many you want? Ross Geller : One. Rachel Green : Dealer takes two. What do you bet? Ross Geller : I bet two dollars. Rachel Green : OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. Ross Geller : I see your twenty, raise you twenty-five. Rachel Green : See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse. Monica Geller : Rachel, there's nothing in it. Rachel Green : OK, then get me your purse. Monica Geller : OK, here you go. Good luck. Rachel Green : : Thank you. : I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven. Phoebe Buffay : ...teen! Ross Geller : : Joey, I'm a little shy. Joey Tribbiani : That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What? Chandler Bing : : What do you need, what do you need? Ross Geller : Fifteen. Chandler Bing : Alright, here's ten. Joey Tribbiani : Here, I got five, I got five. Ross Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Good luck. Ross Geller : : OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got? Rachel Green : Full house. Ross Geller : You got me. Joey Tribbiani : : Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat. Chandler Bing : : I thought we had them! Ross Geller : Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. But, uh... look how happy she is. Chandler Bing : Airplane! Airport! Airport '75! Airport '77! Airport '79! Rachel Green : Oh, time's up. Monica Geller : Bye... bye... BIRDIE. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : That's a bird? Phoebe Buffay : That's a bird! Rachel Green : OK, OK, it's my turn. Chandler Bing : Go. Ross Geller : Uh.... bean! Bean! Joey Tribbiani : The Unbearable Likeness of Being! Rachel Green : Yes! Monica Geller : That, you get? That, you get? Rachel Green : Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? Okay. Monica Geller : Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven. Rachel Green : Thank you. Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee! Monica Geller : Oh good! 'Cause where else would we get any? Rachel Green : Oh. Right. ...Oh great. Monica Geller : What is it? Rachel Green : Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'inspiration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy! Monica Geller : Barry who you almost...? Rachel Green : Barry who I almost. Monica Geller : And Mindy, your maid of...? Rachel Green : Mindy, my maid of. Oh! Monica Geller : That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. Lucky. To have had a friend like you. Ross Geller : Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. 'Bring me the' and- Rach? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them. Ross Geller : Really. Rachel Green : No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody. Ross Geller : Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo? Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual... Ross Geller : Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there. Rachel Green : Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl? Ross Geller : Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who... Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : ...Gets interrupted. Hi! Rachel Green : Hi, how was the movie? Monica Geller : Wonderful! Phoebe Buffay : So good! Joey Tribbiani : Suck-fest. Chandler Bing : Toootal chick-flick. Phoebe Buffay : I-I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with, like, y'know, guns and bombs and, like, buses going really fast... Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity. Monica Geller : There was nudity! Joey Tribbiani : I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking. Monica Geller : Hugh! Hugh Grant! Ross Geller : Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are. Chandler Bing : They're still just friends, right? Rachel Green : And I will see you tomorrow! Ross Geller : That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you. Monica Geller : Oh, hang on, hang on. Does Aunt Monica get a say in this? Ross Geller : 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there. Chandler Bing : I can't believe we are even having this discussion. Joey Tribbiani : I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief. Chandler Bing : I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already? Ross Geller : I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me. Joey Tribbiani : She really said that? Ross Geller : Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight. Joey Tribbiani : 'Tonight' tonight? Ross Geller : Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey... Chandler Bing : I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey. Ross Geller : Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her. Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used. Rachel Green : Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- Marcel? Marc- Joey Tribbiani : How could you lose him? Rachel Green : I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe- Monica Geller : Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one? Rachel Green : I don't know. The left one. Monica Geller : Which ones? Rachel Green : Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. #ALL# : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative? Chandler Bing : Rachel lost Marcel. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, how? Monica Geller : He- he pooped in my shoe. Phoebe Buffay : Which one? Monica Geller : Those cute little black ones I wear all the time. Phoebe Buffay : No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky... Rachel Green : C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go? Chandler Bing : Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room. Rachel Green : Oh, my, God, c'mon, you guys! He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me! Monica Geller : Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth. Rachel Green : Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do? Monica Geller : Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you. Rachel Green : Anybody wanna trade? Oh... Mr. Heckles : Whaddyou want? Monica Geller : Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it? Mr. Heckles : I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it? Monica Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall? Mr. Heckles : I wasn't ready for it. Monica Geller : A monkey. Have you seen a monkey? Mr. Heckles : Saw Regis Philbin once... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. Mr. Heckles : You owe me a waffle. Rachel Green : Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks. Ross Geller : Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today? Rachel Green : Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine? Ross Geller : Yeah. You, uh, you want some? Rachel Green : Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark? Ross Geller : Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? Well- Rachel Green : Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this. Ross Geller : Okay, quick and painful. Rachel Green : Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me. Ross Geller : Oh, what? What-what? Rachel Green : Y'know Marcel? Ross Geller : ...Yeah? Rachel Green : Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him. Ross Geller : I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment. Rachel Green : I know, I know, I'm sorry- Ross Geller : No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil. Rachel Green : Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- Oh! Who is it? Intercom : Animal Control. Rachel Green : See? I've even called Animal Control! Ross Geller : You called Animal Control? Rachel Green : Uh-huh... why... do you not like them? Ross Geller : Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me. Rachel Green : O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that... Ross Geller : That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment! Rachel Green : Hi, thanks for coming. Luisa Gianetti : Somebody called about a monkey? Rachel Green : Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! Ross Geller : Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't. Rachel Green : Turned out it was a hat. Ross Geller : Cat! Rachel Green : Cat! What'm I saying? Cat! Monica Geller : Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel. Luisa Gianetti : Marcel? Ross Geller : My uncle Marcel. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, is that who the monkey's named after? Luisa Gianetti : Oookay. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is, uh, punishable by up to two years in prison and confiscation of the animal? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail? Monica Geller : Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, but there isn't always time! Monica Geller : Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller. Luisa Gianetti : Oh my God, you are! And you're Rachel Green! Rachel Green : Yeah! Luisa Gianetti : Luisa Gianetti! Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in home room! Rachel Green : Luisa? Oh my God! Monica! It's Luisa! Monica Geller : The Luisa from home room! Rachel Green : Yes!! Luisa Gianetti : You have no idea who I am, do you. Monica Geller : No, none at all. Rachel Green : None. Luisa Gianetti : Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'? Monica Geller : Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry! Luisa Gianetti : Ah, it's not so much you, you were fat, you had your own problems. But you? What a bitch! Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats? Luisa Gianetti : I could... but I won't. If I find that monkey, he's mine. Phoebe Buffay : Dun-dun-duuuur! Sorry. Chandler Bing : Marcel? Joey Tribbiani : Marcel? Chandler Bing : Marcel? Joey Tribbiani : Marcel? Woman No. 1 : Hi, can I help you? Chandler Bing : Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something... Joey Tribbiani : A monkey. Chandler Bing : Yes have you seen any? Woman No. 1 : No. No, haven't seen a monkey. Do you know anything about fixing radiators? Joey Tribbiani : Um, sure! Did you, uh, did you try turning the knob back the other way? Woman No. 1 : Of course. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Then, no. Woman No. 2 : Did I put too much rum in here? Woman No. 1 : Just a sec. Hope you find your monkey. Chandler Bing : Oh, nononowaitwaitwaitnono! Uh... we may not know anything about radiators per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise in the heating and cooling... mileu. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here? Chandler Bing : Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot. Joey Tribbiani : We can't, alright? We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out. Chandler Bing : Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people. Joey Tribbiani : Marcel? Chandler Bing : Marcel?! Phoebe Buffay : Marcel? Monica Geller : Marcel? Phoebe Buffay : Marcel? Both : Marcel? Phoebe Buffay : Oh-my-God! Monica Geller : Whaaat! Phoebe Buffay : Something just brushed up against my right leg! Monica Geller : What is it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg. Monica Geller : Look, Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Oh, c'mere, Marcel! Oh, Marcel, c'mere! Luisa Gianetti : Step aside, ladies! Monica Geller : What're you gonna do? Luisa Gianetti : Just a small tranquiliser. Monica Geller : Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! Are you okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, think so. Oh! Huh. Whoah. Monica Geller : Oh gosh. Ross Geller : Marcel? Rachel Green : Marcel? Ross Geller : Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone. Rachel Green : Ross, you don't know that. Ross Geller : Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much. Rachel Green : Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more! Rachel Green : Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose. Ross Geller : Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings... Rachel Green : Ross. Ross Geller : I don't even wanna hear it, you're just... Rachel Green : Ross. Ross Geller : Oh, forget it, okay? Rachel Green : Ross! Ross Geller : What? What? Both : Hey! Hey, Bananaman! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea. Ross Geller : Hi, did you order some bananas? Mr. Heckles : What about it? Ross Geller : Gimme back my monkey. Mr. Heckles : I don't have a monkey. Rachel Green : Then what's with all the bananas? Mr. Heckles : Potassium. Ross Geller : Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel? Ross Geller : Marcel! What've you done to him? Mr. Heckles : That's my monkey. That's Patti, Patti the monkey. Ross Geller : Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. Mr. Heckles : C'mere, Patti. Ross Geller : C'mere, Marcel. Mr. Heckles : C'mere, Patti. Luisa Gianetti : Here, monkey. Here, monkey! Here, monkey! Gotcha. Ross Geller : Okay, gimme my monkey back. Mr. Heckles : That's my monkey. Luisa Gianetti : You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge. Mr. Heckles : That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever. Ross Geller : Alright, I want my monkey. Luisa Gianetti : No! Rachel Green : Oh, c'mon, Luisa! Luisa Gianetti : Sorry, prom queen. Ross Geller : You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat. Rachel Green : Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it! Luisa Gianetti : Nope. Rachel Green : Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart? Ross Geller : It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine. Rachel Green : Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit. Ross Geller : Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I... Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your... Ross Geller : Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape? Rachel Green : That'd be good. Ross Geller : Alright. The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um... Barry Farber : Rachel. Rachel Green : Barry?! Barry Farber : I can't. I can't do it, I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you. Rachel Green : Oh! Ross Geller : We have got to start locking that door! Monica Geller : This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids? Phoebe Buffay : Nope. Monica Geller : That's because I'm in front of them. Chandler Bing : Eh. I thought that was an alp. Monica Geller : Well, high school was not my favourite time. Joey Tribbiani : I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice. Monica Geller : Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago? Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh! Chandler Bing : I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty. Joey Tribbiani : No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is. Ross Geller : I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy. Monica Geller : Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope! Ross Geller : I can't believe it! He's looking right at us! Rachel Green : Oh, that is so sick. Chandler Bing : I feel violated. And not in a good way. Phoebe Buffay : How can people do that?... Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots! Chandler Bing : I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games... Monica Geller : So have you called her yet? Chandler Bing : Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? I'm right, right? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle. Monica Geller : I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, God, just do it! Call her! Stop being so testosteroney! Chandler Bing : Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. I got her machine. Joey Tribbiani : Her answer machine? Chandler Bing : No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up. Phoebe Buffay : So, uh, why didn't you say anything? Chandler Bing : Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o." Monica Geller : Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, they're just talking... Ross Geller : Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything? Phoebe Buffay : No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!! Ross Geller : What? What? What?! Phoebe Buffay : That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! Oh! Chandler Bing : And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law. #ALL# : Oh!... Right! Chandler Bing : Hey Rach! Monica Geller : How'd it go? Rachel Green : Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out... Phoebe Buffay : Not a good day for birds... Rachel Green : Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel... Ross Geller : That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm? Rachel Green : Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice! Ross Geller : That's, that's nice twice! Monica Geller : Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar? Joey Tribbiani : Duh, where've you been? Rachel Green : Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that? Chandler Bing : Yes! Rachel Green : Why? Chandler Bing : I have my reasons. Monica Geller : Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend? Rachel Green : All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it! Rachel Green : Wow... Wow! Barry Farber : Yeah. Rachel Green : I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that. Barry Farber : Nooo, it wasn't. Rachel Green : Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here... Chandler Bing : Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. Bye-bye. Oh God! Monica Geller : That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?! Chandler Bing : Hey, I've been honing! Ross Geller : What was with the dishes? Chandler Bing : Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours. Monica Geller : Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Go away! Stop looking in here! Monica Geller : Great, now he's waving back. Joey Tribbiani : Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff! Monica Geller : What kinda stuff? Joey Tribbiani : Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked. Phoebe Buffay : You cook naked? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters. Chandler Bing : What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that. Barry Farber : What's the matter? Rachel Green : Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good. Barry Farber : No, it was. It was very very good. Rachel Green : Well, what about Mindy? Barry Farber : Oh, way, way better than Mindy. Rachel Green : No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy? Barry Farber : Well, if you want, I'll justI'll just break it off with her. Rachel Green : No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me. Bernice : Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment. Barry Farber : Thanks, Bernice. Let's go away this weekend. Rachel Green : Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too.. Barry Farber : We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it. Rachel Green : I had a bra. Bobby Rush : Hey, Dr. Farber. Barry Farber : All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here. Rachel Green : What?! Bobby Rush : I'm twelve, I'm not stupid. Chandler Bing : Can I use your phone? Monica Geller : Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone. Chandler Bing : Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe she never got your message. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet. Chandler Bing : Y'don't think that makes me seem a little... Ross Geller : ...desperate, needy, pathetic? Chandler Bing : Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad. Phoebe Buffay : How many beeps? Chandler Bing : She answered. Monica Geller : Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about. Chandler Bing : I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy. #ALL# : Hey! Hi! Phoebe Buffay : How'd he take it? Rachel Green : Pretty well, actually... Monica Geller : Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair? Rachel Green : Oh, do I? Monica Geller : Uh huh. Rachel Green : We ended up having sex in his chair. Monica Geller : You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I? Ross Geller : You-you had what? Phoebe Buffay : Sex in his chair. Ross Geller : What, uh... what were you thinking? Rachel Green : I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol. Ross Geller : No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol! Rachel Green : Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say? Chandler Bing : If it helps, I could slide over. Ross Geller : It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go. Phoebe Buffay : Where are you going? Ross Geller : I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay? Chandler Bing : Hello? Hello? Rachel Green : Hello? Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. Really? Oh. Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... Okay... Great... Great... All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! Okay.. Okay... Bye. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Chandler Bing : So how's Mindy? Rachel Green : Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be! Monica Geller : Brrrrrrr! Chandler Bing : Hell is filled with people like you. Joey Tribbiani : He's back! The peeper's back! Joey Tribbiani : Get down! Rachel Green : Get down? Chandler Bing : ...And boogie! Rachel Green : Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy. Monica Geller : Relax. Y'know, she may not even know. Rachel Green : Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss.. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Rachel Green : And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so.. Joey Tribbiani : ..Naughty! Rachel Green : Right, I'll see you guys later... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- That's fine, yeah... Chandler Bing : Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone? Monica Geller : Why don't you just take it with you? Chandler Bing : Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee? Monica Geller : Why don't you just call her? Chandler Bing : I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride. Monica Geller : Do you? Chandler Bing : No! Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. Okay. She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back... Monica Geller : Don't you have to pee? Chandler Bing : 'S'why I'm dancing... Rachel Green : Mindy. Mindy Hunter : Hey, you. Rachel Green : Hey, you.... So, what's up? Mindy Hunter : Um.. we should really be sitting for this. Rachel Green : Sure we should... So. Mindy Hunter : Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer. Rachel Green : Okay. Mindy Hunter : Will you be my maid of honour? Rachel Green : Of course! Mindy Hunter : Oh that's so great! Rachel Green : Was that all you wanted to ask me? Mindy Hunter : That's all! Rachel Green : Ohhhh!! ...What? What? Mindy Hunter : That's not all. Rachel Green : Oh sure it is! Mindy Hunter : Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city. Rachel Green : Um, what- what would make you think that? Mindy Hunter : Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel. Rachel Green : Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too. Mindy Hunter : Oh God! You see, that's what I was afraid of! Rachel Green : What? What's what you were afraid of? Mindy Hunter : Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side. Rachel Green : What? Mindy Hunter : I know. I know, and when he proposed to me, everyone said "Don't do it, he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel," and now I feel so stupid. Rachel Green : Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid. Mindy Hunter : What do you mean? Rachel Green : Smell familiar? Mindy Hunter : Oh no. Rachel Green : Oh, I am so sorry. Mindy Hunter : No me, I am so sorry... Joey Tribbiani : Oh my. Ross Geller : Four letters: "Circle or hoop". Chandler Bing : Ring dammit, ring! Ross Geller : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know our phone's not working? Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer. Chandler Bing : I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off! Monica Geller : Just like you told her you did! ... Just pointing out the irony. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone? Chandler Bing : Nngghhh!!!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Can I use your phone? Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please. Ross Geller : "Heating device." Phoebe Buffay : Radiator. Ross Geller : Five letters. Phoebe Buffay : Rdtor. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, is Sidney there? Oh, this is? Sidney's a woman. Monica Geller : So she's a woman! So what? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yeah, so what? Look, I live across the street, and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? Yeah, I can see you right now! Hello! If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like Thank you, but... that's not really the point... The point is that... Mostly free weights, but occasionally.. Monica Geller : Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, my neighbor... Yeah, the brunette... She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress. Monica Geller : The green dress? Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day. Monica Geller : Nooo! Rachel Green : Hey. Got a second? Barry Farber : Sure, sure. Come on... ...in... Mindy Hunter : Hello, sweetheart. Barry Farber : Uh... uh... what're'you... what're'you guys doing here? Rachel Green : Uh, we are here to break up with you. Barry Farber : Both of you? Mindy Hunter : Basically, we think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you. Barry Farber : I'm sorry... I'm sorry, God, I am so sorry, I'm an idiot, I was weak, I couldn't help myself! Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much! Rachel Green : Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr? Barry Farber : ....Mindy. Mindy, of course Mindy, it was always Mindy. Rachel Green : Even when we were having sex in that chair? Barry Farber : I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you. Rachel Green : Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup! Mindy Hunter : You did it twice? Rachel Green : Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry. Mindy Hunter : Okay... Barry Farber : Sweetheart, just gimme- gimme another chance, okay, we'll start all over again. We'll go back to Aruba. Bernice : Dr. Farber, we've got a bit of an emergency here...Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer. Barry Farber : Oh God... I'll be right there, Bernice. Look, please, please don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be, I'll be right back. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great. Mindy Hunter : Yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him. Rachel Green : What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock! Mindy Hunter : Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S. Rachel Green : Oh God. Mindy Hunter : I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...? Rachel Green : And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba. Monica Geller : You okay? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah! Y'know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding, I have wondered whether I made the right choice. And now I know. Monica Geller : Aww... Joey Tribbiani : Big day. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat... Phoebe Buffay : You know he's gay? Ross Geller : I just wanna clarify this: are you outing Mr. Peanut? Danielle : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody. #ALL# : Hi. Hi. Chandler Bing : What are you doing here? Danielle : Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay. Chandler Bing : ...I'm, I'm okay. Danielle : Listen uh, maybe we could get together later? Chandler Bing : That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever... Danielle : You got it. Chandler Bing : Okay. Danielle : G'bye, everybody. #ALL# : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Whoo-hoo! Monica Geller : Yeah, there you go! Ross Geller : Second date! Chandler Bing : ...I dunno. Rachel Green : You don't know?! Chandler Bing : Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that? Joey Tribbiani : How could someone get a hold of your credit card number? Monica Geller : I have no idea. But look how much they spent! Rachel Green : Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought. Monica Geller : I know. It's just such reckless spending. Ross Geller : I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind. Chandler Bing : Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop. Monica Geller : That's me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! Ross Geller : Marcel, stop humping the lamp! Stop humping! Now Marcel, come back- come here, Marcel- Rachel Green : Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him. Monica Geller : Ross, you've got to do something about the humping. Ross Geller : What? It's, it's just a phase. Chandler Bing : Well, that's what we said about Joey... Ross Geller : Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal. Rachel Green : Stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious. Rachel Green : Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing. Monica Geller : This woman's living my life. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies. Rachel Green : You're not an artist. Monica Geller : Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't. Rachel Green : Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things. Monica Geller : Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we. Rachel Green : Oh, it's so late for 'Shall we'... Monica Geller : Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School? Rachel Green : Nooo... Monica Geller : This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother. Chandler Bing : How about Joey... Pepponi? Joey Tribbiani : No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral. Chandler Bing : Joey... Switzerland? Joey Tribbiani : Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. Which I'm not. Chandler Bing : Joe...Joe...Joe...Stalin? Joey Tribbiani : Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar. Chandler Bing : Well, it does not ring a bell with me... Joey Tribbiani : Joe Stalin. Y'know, that's pretty good. Chandler Bing : Might wanna try Joseph. Joey Tribbiani : Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that! Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hi. Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were. Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing? Monica Geller : Alright, great. Thanks a lot. I'm going to tap class. Rachel Green : What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card? Monica Geller : This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is. Rachel Green : Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing. Phoebe Buffay : This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you. Monica Geller : What d'you think? Phoebe Buffay : Lotsa things. Rachel Green : Which one do you think she is? Teacher : May I help you? Monica Geller : Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe. Teacher : You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. Spare shoes are over there. Rachel Green : What does she mean? Phoebe Buffay : I think she means 'You dance a dance class'. Oh, c'mon, c'mon. Monica Geller : Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me? Teacher : People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again! Rachel Green : She could be you. Teacher : Let's get started. Five, six, a-five six seven eight... Monica Geller : Okay, I'm not getting this! Phoebe Buffay : I'm totally getting it! Monica Geller : Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated? Rachel Green : What? You just click when they click. Teacher : Alright people, now everyone grab a partner. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel. Monica Geller : Great. It's gym class all over again. Phoebe Buffay : Aww. Teacher : Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me. Monica Geller : Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare. Woman : It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry I'm late, okay, here I am. Who's the new tense girl? Teacher : She's your partner. Woman : Hi. I'm Monica. Monica Geller : Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana. Woman : Monana? Monica Geller : Yeah. It's Dutch. Fake Monica : You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. Monica Geller : Um, Pennsylvania Dutch. Teacher : And we're dancing. A-five, six, seven, eight... Ross Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Where've you been? Ross Geller : At the vet. Chandler Bing : She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she? Ross Geller : She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently he's reached sexual maturity. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! He beat ya. Ross Geller : She says as time goes on, he's gonna start getting agressive and violent. Chandler Bing : So what does this mean? Ross Geller : I'm gonna have to give him up. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks! Chandler Bing : I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already? Ross Geller : I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg. Joey Tribbiani : Isn't there any way you can keep him? Ross Geller : No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo. Joey Tribbiani : How do you get a monkey into a zoo? Chandler Bing : I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen. Ross Geller : Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. We found her, we found the girl. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Did you call the cops? Rachel Green : Nope. We took her to lunch. Chandler Bing : Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice. Ross Geller : What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer. Monica Geller : Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit. Ross Geller : Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader. Chandler Bing : ...Take off their hats! Phoebe Buffay : Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke. Rachel Green : No way. No way did you do this. Fake Monica : Monana was very brave. Monica Geller : It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor! Fake Monica : So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts... Monica Geller : ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me! Rachel Green : Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. Fake Monica : Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show. Monica Geller : 'Scuse me? Fake Monica : There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say? Monica Geller : Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class. Fake Monica : Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background. Monica Geller : What? Fake Monica : Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right? Monica Geller : Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned. Fake Monica : I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society? Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Fake Monica : I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do. Monica Geller : Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire. Ross Geller : Oh God. We didn't get into Scranton. That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him. Phoebe Buffay : I'd say that chair's taking the brunt. Ross Geller : Marcel! Marcel! Marcel, no! Good boy. See, how can nobody want him? Rachel Green : Oh, somebody will. Joey Tribbiani : You know there already is a Joseph Stalin? Chandler Bing : You're kidding. Joey Tribbiani : Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that! Chandler Bing : Y'know, you'd think I would've. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be? Phoebe Buffay : ...Flame Boy. Ross Geller : Where exactly is your zoo? Dr. Baldhara : Well, it's technically not a zoo per se, it's more of an interactive wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel? Ross Geller : Yes. Dr. Baldhara : Does he, uh, fight with other animals? Ross Geller : No-no, he's, he's very docile. Dr. Baldhara : Even if he were... cornered? Ross Geller : Well I, I don't know. Why? Dr. Baldhara : Uh, how is he at handling small objects? Ross Geller : He can hold a banana, if that's whatcha mean... Dr. Baldhara : How about a hammer, or a small blade? Ross Geller : Why- why- why would he need a blade? Dr. Baldhara : Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel. Chandler Bing : He- he- he got in, he- he got in to San Diego. Joey Tribbiani : We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing... Chandler Bing : ...He's in. Ross Geller : He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego! Dr. Baldhara : You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains. Monica Geller : Yo- hooo! Rachel Green : Where the hell've you been? Monica Geller : Monica and I just crashed an embassy party. Rachel Green : Are you drunk?! Monica Geller : Noooo! I'm lying. I am so drunk. Rachel Green : Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried... Rachel Green : Monica? Monica! Monica Geller : Water rules! Rachel Green : Yes, yes, it does. Okay, look, the restaurant called, they wanna know if you're gonna be showing up for work? Monica Geller : Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today. Rachel Green : Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you! Monica Geller : No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana! Rachel Green : Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people. Monica Geller : Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : They've arrested Monica. Monica Geller : Hi. Fake Monica : Hey. Monica Geller : How are you? Fake Monica : I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here? Monica Geller : Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using. Fake Monica : That I was not expecting. Monica Geller : I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in. Fake Monica : Oh. Thanks. Monica Geller : No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater! Fake Monica : Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'. Monica Geller : I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus? Fake Monica : Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus? Monica Geller : Well, not... worried, just... wondering. Fake Monica : There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are. Monica Geller : Not necessarily... Fake Monica : Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing. Monica Geller : Um, I'm not actually Amish. Fake Monica : Really? Then why are you like that? Teacher : You by the door. In or out? Monica Geller : In. Teacher : You in the back, you're getting it all wrong! Monica Geller : Yeah, but at least I'm doing it! Announcement : This is the final boarding call for flight 67 to San Diego, boarding at gate 42A. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane. Ross Geller : Aww. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn. Joey Tribbiani : I dunno what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey. Ross Geller : Just, just say what you feel. Joey Tribbiani : Marcel, I'm hungry. Ross Geller : That was good. Rachel Green : Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane. Ross Geller : Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him. #ALL# : Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. Ross Geller : Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him. Actor : Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might... touch thy cheek... Casting Director No. 1 : That's fine, thank you. Casting Director No. 2 : Next. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio. Casting Director No. 2 : Name? Joey Tribbiani : Holden McGroin. Monica Geller : Tell him. Rachel Green : No. Phoebe Buffay : Tell him, tell him. Monica Geller : Just...please tell him. Rachel Green : Shut up! Chandler Bing : Tell me what? Monica Geller : Look at you, you won't even look at him. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me. Rachel Green : All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were... Phoebe Buffay : Doing it on this table. Chandler Bing : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Exellent dream score. Ross Geller : Why, why, why would you dream that? Chandler Bing : More importantly, was I any good? Rachel Green : Well, you were pretty damn good. Chandler Bing : Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm allways surprisingly inadequate. Rachel Green : Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table. Ross Geller : I love it, when we share. Chandler Bing : You're okay there? Ross Geller : I can't belive you two had sex in her dream. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious. Chandler Bing : Hello Rachel. Rachel Green : Get off. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. What are you wearing? Ross Geller : Pheebs, why would you want to operate a drill press? Phoebe Buffay : Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients. Chandler Bing : Pirates again? Phoebe Buffay : No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, Chan. She could work for you. Chandler Bing : Thanks Joey, that's a good idea. Phoebe Buffay : What... I could, I could do it. What is it? Chandler Bing : Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. It's a whole big boob story. Phoebe Buffay : I could be a secretary. Chandler Bing : Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day. Phoebe Buffay : I could do that. Rachel Green : What are you playing with? Ross Geller : Oh, it's my new beeper. Joey Tribbiani : What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for? Monica Geller : Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.' Ross Geller : No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO. Chandler Bing : A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid. Monica Geller : All right, I'll see you guys later. Rachel Green : Off to see young Ethan? Monica Geller : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : How young is young Ethan? Young? Monica Geller : He's... our age. Chandler Bing : When we were? Monica Geller : Okay, he's a senior in college. Ross Geller : College? Chandler Bing : Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are? Monica Geller : No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22. #ALL# : What? Monica Geller : Oh, I can't pass for 22? Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe 25-26. Monica Geller : I am 26. Phoebe Buffay : There you go. Chandler Bing : Can you hear that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Chandler Bing : See that'll stop when you pick up the phone. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Uh, I'm on. Phoebe Buffay : Mr. Bing's office. No I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now. Chandler Bing : I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops. Phoebe Buffay : Will he know what this is in reference to? And he has your number? All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye. Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Ross says hi. Chandler Bing : Ah! Phoebe Buffay : This is so fun. All right, what do we do now? Chandler Bing : Well, now, I actually have to get to work. Phoebe Buffay : Most likely. Okay, I'm gonna be out there. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Bye bye. Chandler Bing : Bye bye. Chandler Bing : Yes? Phoebe Buffay : Whatcha doin'? Chandler Bing : Ooh. Monica Geller : Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? No, cause I made lasagne. Am I out of control? Rachel Green : Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Could tonight be the Night? Monica Geller : I don't know. Look he's a great guy and I love being with him but... you know. Things happen, and they happen. You don't plan these things. Rachel Green : So, did you shave your legs? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : A-ha! Joey Tribbiani : Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean... Ross Geller : Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god it's baby time. Baby time. Joey Tribbiani : All right, relax, relax. Just relax, just relax. Be cool, be cool. Ross Geller : Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. No, Andr is not here. Third time today. Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services. Joey Tribbiani : Services? Oh, services. Ross Geller : Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. No, belive me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. All rightie, bye bye. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey. How was the first day? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, exellent. Everyone was so, so nice. Chandler Bing : See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. Me. Phoebe Buffay : No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you. Chandler Bing : Why not? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, because, you know... they don't like you. Chandler Bing : What?! Phoebe Buffay : I thought you knew that. Chandler Bing : Noho. Who doesn't they like me? Phoebe Buffay : Everyone. Except for uh... no everyone. Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing". Chandler Bing : I can't belive it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah. They even do you. Chandler Bing : They do me? Phoebe Buffay : You know like... uh okay... uh... 'Could that report be any later?' Chandler Bing : I don't sound like that. Ross Geller : Oh, oh Chandler... Joey Tribbiani : Oh... Yeah, you do. Ross Geller : 'The hills were alive with the sound of music.' Joey Tribbiani : My scones. Joey Tribbiani : 'My scones.' Chandler Bing : Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true. Chandler Bing : That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up! Monica Geller : Did not. Ethan : I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen. Monica Geller : How was that possible? Ethan : Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? Oh, ah. I should go. Monica Geller : Okay. Ethan : Okay. Monica Geller : Unless... Ethan : What? Monica Geller : Uh, ah. Unless you wanna stay over? I mean, I'm going to, so... Ethan : Yeah, I'd really like that. Ethan : Uuh, before we get into any staying-over-stuff, there is something you should know. Monica Geller : Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?' Ethan : Well it's somewhere in between. You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not uh..., well I, I mean I haven't ever uh... Monica Geller : Ethan? Ethan : Yeah? Monica Geller : Are you a virgin? Ethan : Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person. Monica Geller : Really? Ethan : Yeah. You do know I was talking about you, right? Ethan : Wow! Monica Geller : You keep saying that. Ethan : You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that. Monica Geller : Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to. Ethan : Oh god, don't tell me, I did it wrong. Monica Geller : No-no. Nothing wrong about that. Ethan : Oh. Monica Geller : Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months. Ethan : Huh! Monica Geller : But I figured, you know, that shouldn't change anything. I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are. Ethan : Uh, listen um, as long as we're telling stuff, uh, I have another one for you. I'm a little younger than I said. Monica Geller : You're not a senior? Ethan : Oh, I'm a senior... in High School. Monica Geller : Ok...ay. Monica Geller : What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial. Ethan : I just had sex. Monica Geller : Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me? Ethan : Well, you never told me how old you were. Monica Geller : Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking? Ethan : I wasn't thinking. I was too busy fallin'... Monica Geller : Don't say it. Ethan : ...in love with you. Monica Geller : Really? Ethan : Sorry. Monica Geller : Well,fall out of it. You know, you shouldn't even be here, it's a school night. Oh god, oh god. I'm like those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad. I'm Joan Collins. Ethan : Who? Ross Geller : Okay, Andr should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. Just easier that way. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream. Rachel Green : No, forget it. Chandler Bing : Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy? Rachel Green : All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. Joey was there too. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Ross Geller : Was there...uh, huh, huh, huh... andybody, anybody else there. Rachel Green : No. Ross Geller : You're sure? Nobody uh, handed out uh, mints or anything? Rachel Green : No, it was just the three of us. Ross Geller : Huh! Joey Tribbiani : So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler? Rachel Green : You know what? Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : There were times when it wasn't even me. Phoebe Buffay : That is so sweet, you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Mon. Rachel Green : Mon, Ethan called again. Mon? #ALL# : Mon! Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Ethan called again. Monica Geller : Oh. Ross Geller : Are you not seeing him anymore? Monica Geller : No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out. Chandler Bing : And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym. Rachel Green : I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah. Monica Geller : Ha,ha, ha, oh my life is just so amusing. Could we drop it now? Chandler Bing : Sorry. Ross Geller : It's morphin time! Joey Tribbiani : Stegosaurus! Chandler Bing : Tyrannosaurus! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. Cool! Rachel Green : Where are you going? Phoebe Buffay : Um, oh, I've got a birthday party, with some work people. Chandler Bing : Work people? Nobody told me. Phoebe Buffay : No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you-extravaganza. Chandler Bing : You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person. Phoebe Buffay : Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are. Chandler Bing : You think I should? Phoebe Buffay : I really do, yeah. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss. Chandler Bing : I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory. Phoebe Buffay : You were great. But they still made fun of you. Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!" Chandler Bing : Then, I don't get it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss. Chandler Bing : They do? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore. Chandler Bing : I just wan't to... Phoebe Buffay : No, but you can't. Chandler Bing : But I just wa... Phoebe Buffay : Uh uh. Monica Geller : Aren't you gonna... Ross Geller : Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it. Joey Tribbiani : What about Andre? Ross Geller : Oh, well this morning he got a call from who I think was our cousin Nathan, and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know. Ethan : Hey. Monica Geller : That was gonna be my opener. Rachel Green : Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom? Ross Geller : I thought that was just a rumour. Rachel Green : True story. Joey Tribbiani : They're here already? Ethan : All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great. Monica Geller : It was. Ethan : Then, what's the problem? Monica Geller : Ethan, it's um... it's icky. Ethan : Icky? You're actually gonna throw this away because it's icky? Monica Geller : This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different, I... If you were a few years older, or if I was a few years younger, or if we lived in biblical times, I would really... Ethan : No, don't say it. Monica Geller : ...love you. Ross Geller : Are you're hands still wet? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, moist, yeah. Rachel Green : Let's dry 'em again. Gerston : Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? Hey, Chandler. Santos : Hello, Mr. Bing. Petrie : Loved your Stevie Wonder last night. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock. Santos : Sure. Gerston : No problem. Chandler Bing : You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache? Phoebe Buffay : Petrie. Chandler Bing : Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend. Rachel Green : Oooooooooh. Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross! Rachel Green : Ross? Ross Geller : I'm here. Rachel Green : You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow! Ross Geller : What? Great, now I'm having a baby. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Ooh, Ooh. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I'm having... I'm having a baby. I'm having a... Where's the phone? The phone? Rachel Green : I don't know where the phone is. Rachel Green : Ross? Ross Geller : I'm hurt. Ross Geller : Monica, let's go. Come on now people, woman in labor. Chandler Bing : Hey Ross, look what I've got going here. Ross Geller : Yeah, save it for the cab, okay. Ross Geller : What are you doing? We're going to a hospital. Rachel Green : What, so I can't lokk nice? There might be doctors there. Ross Geller : Joey, get out of the fridge. Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right. Ross Geller : What is that? Joey Tribbiani : For the ride. Chandler Bing : Yeah, like in a cab... Ross Geller : Save it. Chandler Bing : Okay, hating this. Ross Geller : Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming. Monica Geller : I can't belive it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew. Ross Geller : That's nice. Get out Let's go, come on. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm going. I'm going. Chandler Bing : Here we go, here we go. Rachel Green : Rossy, Rossy. Ross Geller : She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here. Monica Geller : I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet? Ross Geller : I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug. Joey Tribbiani : Do we have to know about that? Monica Geller : Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby? Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars. Chandler Bing : Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's. Ross Geller : God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab. Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction. Rachel Green : What, it's ok when Chandler does it? Chandler Bing : You have to pick your moments. Phoebe Buffay : Did I miss it, did I miss it? Ross Geller : She's not even here yet. Monica Geller : What's with the guitar? Phoebe Buffay : I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical. Ross Geller : Where the hell have you been? Susan Bunch : We stopped at the gift shop. Carol Willick : I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky. Ross Geller : Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys. Chandler Bing : I used to have that bumper sticker. Chandler Bing : You see what I mean. Ross Geller : Stopped for a Chunky. Carol Willick : Let it go, Ross. Susan Bunch : I got an extra one. You want this? Ross Geller : No. Dr. Franzblau : Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing? Ross Geller : Dr. Franzblau, hi. Dr. Franzblau : So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions? Carol Willick : Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus. Susan Bunch : They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds. Ross Geller : 59 seconds. Quartz, ha. Susan Bunch : Swiss quartz, ha, ha. Carol Willick : Am I allowed to drink anything? Dr. Franzblau : Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station. Ross Geller : I'll get it. Susan Bunch : No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back. Ross Geller : I got itI'm getting it! Rachel Green : Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips. Carol Willick : Thanks. Rachel Green : And if you need anything else, I do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate. Dr. Franzblau : It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician. Rachel Green : Oh, that's funny! Monica Geller : I want a baby. Chandler Bing : Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow. Monica Geller : Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee. Chandler Bing : Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that. Joey Tribbiani : Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too. Lydia : Knick fan? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Lydia : Oh, boy, do they suck. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen, lady.... ...whoa. Lydia : Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? And who do you like? Lydia : The Celtics. Joey Tribbiani : The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright? Lydia : Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah! Joey Tribbiani : Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father! Lydia : There is no father. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, oh, sorry. Lydia : Ok, that's ok. I'm fine. I'm... oh! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here. Lydia : Ok. Phoebe Buffay :  Phoebe Buffay : They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch, and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much. Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why, you cry and you cry and you cry. And you cry and you cry and you cry... Phoebe Buffay : Thanks, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah. I'm paying you to stop. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute. Monica Geller : No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two? Chandler Bing : You'll get one. Monica Geller : Oh yeah? When? Chandler Bing : All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one? Monica Geller : Why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically. Monica Geller : Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler Bing : No, no, no. Monica Geller : What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me? Chandler Bing : Uh, uh. Monica Geller : Well? Chandler Bing : Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress. Monica Geller : Did you go home and change? Rachel Green : Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by? Monica Geller : No, I haven't seen him. Rachel Green : Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. What if the baby needs him? Chandler Bing : Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor? Rachel Green : Yeah, why? Chandler Bing : No reason. Lydia : Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. What do you mean, Joey who? Joey who? Joey Tribbiani : Tribbiani. Lydia : Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. She wants to talk to you. Take the phone. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, yeah, it's me. Oh, no no no, we're just friends. Yeah, I'm single. 25. An actor. Hello? Lydia : She's not much of a phone person. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know? Lydia : Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, look, maybe I should just go. Lydia : Maybe you should. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck, and uh, take care, huh? Joey Tribbiani : You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team. Lydia : Oh, that is so not true. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it is. Lydia : It isn't. Joey Tribbiani : It is. Lydia : Isn't! Ross Geller : Breathe. Susan Bunch : Breathe. Ross Geller : Breathe. Susan Bunch : Breathe. Ross Geller : Breathe. Susan Bunch : Breathe. Carol Willick : You're gonna kill me! Ross Geller : 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12... Carol Willick : Count faster. Susan Bunch : It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie. Ross Geller : Who the hell is Jordie? Susan Bunch : Your son. Ross Geller : No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie. Carol Willick : Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordie. Ross Geller : What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco. Carol Willick : Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp. Ross Geller : I got it. Susan Bunch : I got it. Ross Geller : I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps. Susan Bunch : No, you don't. Carol Willick : All right, that's it. I want both of you out. Ross Geller : Why? Susan Bunch : He started it! Ross Geller : No, you started it. Susan Bunch : You did! Carol Willick : I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier. Ross Geller : But... Carol Willick : Now go! Ross Geller : Thanks a lot. Susan Bunch : See what you did. Ross Geller : Yeah, listen... Carol Willick : Out! Nurse Sizemore : Breathe, breathe, breathe... Lydia : Oh, no. Joey Tribbiani : Ew! What is that? Something exploded! Nurse Sizemore : It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you? Joey Tribbiani : Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking? Nurse Sizemore : Breathe, breathe, breathe. Ross Geller : Please. This is so your fault. Susan Bunch : How, how is this my fault? Ross Geller : Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. Susan Bunch : Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along. Ross Geller : You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady? Susan Bunch : You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me. Ross Geller : Oh, I'm threatened by you? Susan Bunch : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it! Ross Geller : Yeah, Susan. Phoebe Buffay : Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, who wants to hear something ironic? #ALL# : Help! Ross Geller : I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. Ow. Carol Willick : Are they here yet? Rachel Green : No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok? Carol Willick : Ok. Rachel Green : Ok? Carol Willick : Ok. Rachel Green : Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating. Dr. Franzblau : It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. There you go, dear. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's I was justyeah, right. Push! Push! Susan Bunch : What're you gonna do, suck the door open? Ross Geller : Help! Help! Phoebe Buffay : They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next... la la la la la la. Ross Geller : Help! Monica Geller : Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. No, he's gone. No no, you don't have to fly back, really. What do you mean this might be your only chance? Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet. Chandler Bing : Where have you been? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, just had a baby. Chandler Bing : Mazel tov! Dr. Franzblau : I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone? Rachel Green : No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you? Dr. Franzblau : No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me. Rachel Green : Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors. Dr. Franzblau : No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do. Rachel Green : Oh. Dr. Franzblau : I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do? Rachel Green : I'm a waitress. Dr. Franzblau : Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'... Rachel Green : Yeah. Gotcha. Dr. Franzblau : I'm gonna go check up on your friend. Rachel Green : Ok. That's fine. Lydia : So how did you know I was even here? Guy : Your mom called me. So is this her? Lydia : No, this is a loaner. Guy : I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself. Lydia : I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. So, did you see who won the game? Guy : Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck. Lydia : Yeah, they're not so bad. Ross Geller : Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you. Susan Bunch : The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have. Ross Geller : No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me? Susan Bunch : You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day. Ross Geller : Every day is Lesbian Lover Day. Phoebe Buffay : This is so great. Ross Geller : You wanna explain that? Phoebe Buffay : I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. I'm sorry, you were fighting. Carol Willick : Where are they? Monica Geller : I'm sure they'll be here soon. Rachel Green : Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this. Joey Tribbiani : Relax. You're only at nine centimeters. And the baby's at zero station. Chandler Bing : You are really frightening me. Chandler Bing : Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. Uh, that's great. Anybody seen a nipple? Dr. Franzblau : All right, ten centimeters, here we go. Nurse Sizemore : All right, honey, time to start pushing. Carol Willick : But they're not here yet! Dr. Franzblau : I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them. Carol Willick : Oh, god. Ross Geller : Ok, got the vent open. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue! Ross Geller : Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben. Susan Bunch : What do you see? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent. Ross Geller : Phoebs, It's open! It's open! Janitor : Wait! You forgot your legs! #ALL# : Push, push! Ross Geller : We're here! Carol Willick : Where have you been? Ross Geller : Long story, honey. Dr. Franzblau : All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need Excuse me, could I have this? Nurse Sizemore : All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go! #ALL# : Good luck! Chandler Bing : Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner? Nurse Sizemore : Out! Dr. Franzblau : All right, he's crowning. Here he comes. Ross Geller : Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this? Carol Willick : Not.... helping! Dr. Franzblau : You're doing great, you're doing fine. Ross Geller : Hello! Oh, sorry. Susan Bunch : What do you see? What do you see? Ross Geller : We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person. Susan Bunch : Oh, look at that. Carol Willick : What does he look like? Ross Geller : Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o. Carol Willick : Really? Phoebe Buffay : You guys, he's beautiful! Ross Geller : Oh, thanks, Pheebs! Susan Bunch : No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy. Ross Geller : How 'bout Ben? Susan Bunch : I like Ben. Carol Willick : Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before? Ross Geller : We uh, we just cooked it up. Susan Bunch : That's what we were off doing. Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Can we come in? Ross Geller : I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody. Phoebe Buffay : Susan, he looks just like you. Susan Bunch : Thanks. Rachel Green : Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. Chandler Bing : I know, I still am one of these. Monica Geller : Ross, can I? Ross Geller : The head, the head. You gotta... Monica Geller : Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum. Ross Geller : Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. But I'll still always come back, like this. And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. But I'll still always come back, like this. Chandler Bing : And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. Monica Geller : He is so amazing. Rachel Green : Oh, I know. Look at him. Joey Tribbiani : Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. Look, he's opening his eyes. Joey Tribbiani : He doesn't do much, does he? Ross Geller : No, this is pretty much it. Rachel Green : You guys wanna get some coffee? #ALL# : Yeah. Ross Geller : All right, I'll see you guys later. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again. Ross Geller : And here's little Ben nodding off... Monica Geller : Awww, look at Aunt Monica's little boy! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, he's got Ross's haircut! Rachel Green : Oh, let me see! Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over! Ross Geller : That would be nice. Rachel Green : Pardon? Chandler Bing : Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, right, OK... inlcuding the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars. Joey Tribbiani : I will, really. I'll pay you back this time. Chandler Bing : ... And where's this money coming from? Joey Tribbiani : Well... I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U. Med School with some... research. Ross Geller : What kind of research? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, just, y'know.... science. Ross Geller : Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. Joey Tribbiani : ... It's a fertility study. Monica Geller : Oh, Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars. Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, ooh, you're gonna be making money hand over fist! Monica Geller : OK, we got the cole slaw, we got the buns... Phoebe Buffay : We've got the ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys, ew... Chandler Bing : Men are here. Joey Tribbiani : We make fire. Cook meat. Chandler Bing : Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back. Monica Geller : Ewww! Monica Geller : Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, OK. Phoebe Buffay : So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your special someone? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, she's, uh.... she's pretty great. Monica Geller : Yeah? What does she think of your little science project? Joey Tribbiani : What, you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup? Monica Geller : Man's got a point. Joey Tribbiani : Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me. Chandler Bing : Crazy bitch. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean. Monica Geller : Joey... we always know what you mean. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : How long did you think this barbecue was gonna last? Ross Geller : I'm going to China. Phoebe Buffay : Jeez, you say one thing, and... Monica Geller : You're going to China? Ross Geller : Yeah, i-it's for the museum. Someone found a bone, we want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone, so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the boit'sit's a whole big bone thing. Anyway, I'm gonna be gone for like, uh... like a week, so, uh, if you wanna reach me, y-you can't. So here's my itinerary . Um... here's a picture of me... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, let me see! Ross Geller : : Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me? Monica Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun. Ross Geller : Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left. Monica Geller : Oh no, she's out having drinks with Carl. Ross Geller : Oh. Hey, who's Carl? Monica Geller : You know, that guy she met at the coffeehouse. Ross Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the... Ross Geller : At the coffeehouse, right. Phoebe Buffay : So you do know who he is! Sorry. Ross Geller : OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, y'know what? Tell them that bone story. Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : ....I have to go to China. Joey Tribbiani : The country? Ross Geller : No no, this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront. Do you guys know who Carl is? Chandler Bing : Uh, let's see... Alvin... Simon... Theodore.... no. Ross Geller : Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no! How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!? Chandler Bing : Forget about her. Joey Tribbiani : He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food. Chandler Bing : Course there, they just call it food. Ross Geller : Yeah... I guess. I don'tI don't know. Alright, just... just give her this for me, OK? Joey Tribbiani : Listen, buddy, we're just looking out for you. Ross Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. Chandler Bing : I'm still on my first. I just think you're nice. Melanie : Anyway, that's when me and my friends started this whole fruit basket business. We call ourselves 'The Three Basketeers.' Joey Tribbiani : Like the three musketeers, only with fruit. Chandler Bing : Ooooh. Monica Geller : OK, how does everybody like their burgers? Rachel Green : Oh, no, no, no. Presents first. Food later. Monica Geller : Hey, hold on there, tiger. How's it going? How you holding up? Joey Tribbiani : Well, not so good. She definitely thinks tonight is the night we're gonna... complete the transaction, if you know what I... Joey Tribbiani : Then you do. Heh, heh. Monica Geller : So, uh, have you ever thought about being there for her? Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? Monica Geller : Y'know, just be there for her. Joey Tribbiani : Not following you. Monica Geller : Think about it. Rachel Green : OK, I'm guessing this is from... Rachel Green : Well, thank you, Melanie. Chandler Bing : OK, this one right here is from me. Rachel Green : OK... ah, it's light... ...it rattles... it's... Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you! Rachel Green : This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And... ...it's a book! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's Dr. Seuss! Joey Tribbiani : : That book got me through some tough times. Melanie : There is a little child inside this man! Chandler Bing : Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die. Rachel Green : Who's this from? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's Ross's. Rachel Green : Oh... ... Oh my God. He remembered. Phoebe Buffay : Remembered what? Rachel Green : It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered! Chandler Bing : Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune. Monica Geller : I can't believe he did this. Chandler Bing : Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck? Rachel Green : What did you just say? Chandler Bing : ahem... um... Crystal duck. Rachel Green : No, no, no.... the, um, the... 'love' part? Chandler Bing : F-hah.... flennin.... Rachel Green : Oh.... my God. Chandler Bing : Oh, no-no-no-no-no.... Joey Tribbiani : That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time. Rachel Green : I mean, this is unbelievable. Phoebe Buffay : I know. This is really, really huge. Chandler Bing : No it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee. Phoebe Buffay : Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again. Chandler Bing : OK, is there a mute button on this woman? Monica Geller : I think this is so great! I mean, you and Ross! D-did you have any idea? Rachel Green : No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... : W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me? Joey Tribbiani : Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something. Rachel Green : Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. Chandler Bing : H-He's in China! Joey Tribbiani : The country. Monica Geller : No, no, wait. His flight doesn't leave for another forty-five more minutes. Chandler Bing : What about the time difference? Monica Geller : From here to the airport? Chandler Bing : Yes! You're never gonna make it! Monica Geller : Rachel, what're you gonna say to him? Rachel Green : I-I-I don't know. Chandler Bing : Well then maybe you shouldn't go. Joey Tribbiani : He's right, cause if you're just gonna, like, break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait. Monica Geller : Yeah, but if it's good news, you should tell him now. Rachel Green : I don't know. Maybe I'll know when I see him. Phoebe Buffay : Here, look, alright, does this help? Rachel Green : Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. Chandler Bing : Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! Ross Geller :  Flight Attendant : Alright! Ross Geller : Ni-chou chi-ma! Rachel Green : Ross! Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me.... Flight Attendant : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Flight Attendant : May I see your boarding pass? Rachel Green : Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend. Flight Attendant : Oh, oooh. I'm sorry. You are not allowed on the jetway unless you have a boarding pass. Rachel Green : No, I know, but Ihe just went on. He's right there, he's got the blue jacket on, I... can I j-just... Flight Attendant : No no no! Federal regulations! Rachel Green : OK, alright, OK, um... then could you please, uh... just give him a message for me? Please? This is very important. Flight Attendant : Alright. What's the message? Rachel Green : Uh... I don't know. Flight Attendant : Sir? Sir? Excuse me, sir? Uh... I have a message for you. Man : What? Flight Attendant : It's from Rachel. She said that she loved the present, and she will see you when you get back. Man : : Toby... Oh, for God's sake, I don't know what she's talking about! There's no Rachel! Don't give me that deep freeze. Melanie : Mmmmmm... Oh, Joey, Joey, Joey... I think I blacked out there for a minute! Joey Tribbiani : Heh, heh. It was nothin'. Melanie : Well, now we've gotta find something fun for you! Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh.. y'know what? Forget about me. Let's, uh... let's give you another turn. Melanie : M-Me again? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! Why not? Melanie : Boy, somebody's gonna get a big fruit basket tomorrow. Melanie : Oooh, I gotta tell you... you are nothing like I thought you would be. Joey Tribbiani : How do you mean? Melanie : I don't know, I-I guess I just had you pegged as one of those guys who're always 'me, me, me.' But you... you're a giver. You're like the most generous man I ever met. I mean... you're practically a woman. Monica Geller : Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out? Rachel Green : I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross. Monica Geller : Sure. Rachel Green : I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great. Monica Geller : Oh my God, me too! Oh! Oh, we'd be like friends-in-law! Y'know what the best part is? The best part is that you already know everything about him! I mean, it's like starting on the fifteenth date! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but, y'know, it's... it would be like starting on the fifteenth date. Monica Geller : Another good point. Phoebe Buffay : No, I mean, I mean, when you're at the fifteenth date, y'know, you're already in a very relationshippy place. Y'know, it's... you're committed. Rachel Green : Huh? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out? Monica Geller : Why isn't it working out? Rachel Green : I don't know... sometimes it doesn't. Monica Geller : Is he not cute enough for you? Rachel Green : No! Monica Geller : Does he not make enough money? Rachel Green : No, I'm just.... Phoebe Buffay : Maybe there's someone else. Rachel Green : Wha... Monica Geller : Is there? Is there someone else? Rachel Green : No! There is.. there is noone else! Monica Geller : Then why the hell are you dumping my brother?!? Chandler Bing : Hey, big... Joey Tribbiani : Shhhh! Chandler Bing : ...spender. Joey Tribbiani : She's still asleep. Chandler Bing : So how'd it go? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed? Chandler Bing : The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me. Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade! Chandler Bing : Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route. Joey Tribbiani : It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level. Chandler Bing : I didn't know you had another level. Joey Tribbiani : I know! Neither did I! Monica Geller : Hey, great skirt! Birthday present? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh, from who? Rachel Green : From you. I exchanged the blouse you got me. Monica Geller : Well, it's the thought. Hey, doesn't Ross's flight get in in a couple hours? At gate 27-B? Rachel Green : Uh, yeah. Uh, Monica, y'know, honey, I've been thinking about it and I've decided thisthis whole Ross thing, it's just not a good idea. Monica Geller : Oh, why? Rachel Green : Because, I feel like I wouldn't just be going out with him. I would be going out with all of you. Oh, and there would just be all this pressure, and I don't wanna... Monica Geller : No, no, no, no, no, no pressure, no pressure! Rachel Green : Monica, nothing has even happened yet, and you're already so... Monica Geller : I am not 'so'! OK, I was a teensy bit weird at first, but... I'll be good. I promise. Rachel Green : Who is it? Intercom : It's me, Carl. Rachel Green : C'mon up. Monica Geller : Behind my brother's back? ... is exactly the kind of crazy thing you won't be hearing from me. Joey Tribbiani : Seven hundred bucks! Chandler Bing : Alright, you did it! Do we have any fruit? Joey Tribbiani : Man, hell of a two weeks, huh? Y'know what, though? I really feel like I learned something. Chandler Bing : Really? So, you're gonna stick with this 'it's all for her' thing? Joey Tribbiani : What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? Carl (Rachel's date) : I'm just sayin', if I see one more picture of Ed Begley, Jr. in that stupid electric car, I'm gonna shoot myself! I mean, don't get me wrong... I'm not against environmental issues per se.... it's just that guy! Ross Geller : I can't believe you'd rather go out with him than me. Rachel Green : Would you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a date here. Ross Geller : Fine, just stop thinking about me. Ross Geller : Can't do it, can you? Rachel Green : So I'm thinking about you. So what? Ross Geller : I don't get it. What do you see in this guy, anyway? Rachel Green : Well... he happens to be a very nice... guy.... Carl (Rachel's date) : I mean, come on, buddy, get a real car! Ross Geller : Rachel, come on. Give us a chance. Rachel Green : Ross, it's too hard. Ross Geller : No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade. Rachel Green : Ross, you're like my best friend. Ross Geller : I know. Rachel Green : If we broke up, and I lost you... Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think we're gonna break up? Rachel Green : Well, have you been involved with someone where you haven't broken up? Ross Geller : No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me? Rachel Green : I don't know... I mean, I've never looked at you that way before. Ross Geller : Well, start looking. Rachel Green : Wow. Carl (Rachel's date) : Exactly! And you just know I'm gonna be the guy caught behind this hammerhead in traffic! Rachel Green : Right! You're right! Carl (Rachel's date) : Heh... y'know? Rachel Green : You know what? Carl (Rachel's date) : What? Rachel Green : I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry. Carl (Rachel's date) : But... Rachel Green : Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, excuse me, sorry. Hi. Man : For God's sake, will you let it go? There's no Rachel! Ross Geller : Oh, hey, hey, I got that. Julie : Oh, thanks, sweetie. Ross Geller : No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends. Julie : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah. Julie : You don't think they'll judge and ridicule me? Ross Geller : No, no, they will. I just... uh... Julie : Can't wait. Ross Geller : Come on, they're gonna love you. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been? Rachel Green : Oh my god. Oh my god. Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! Ross Geller : Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? Ross Geller : It was, it was great. Oh, what happened? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : You're bleeding. Rachel Green : I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. Ross Geller : Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel. Rachel Green : These are, these aren't for you. These are for you. Welcome to our country. Julie : Thank you. I'm from New York. Rachel Green : Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok. Chandler Bing : No way! Monica Geller : I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge? Joey Tribbiani : Um, this? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Monica Geller : Guys, you got your hair cut. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause, you know, if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice. Rachel Green : Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp. Chandler Bing : Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs. Rachel Green : You, you, you said he liked me. You, you slowpokes! Ross Geller : That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up? Joey Tribbiani : What up?! Ross Geller : Everyone, this is Julie. Rachel Green : Julie. #ALL# : Ohh. Hi! Julie : Hi, but I'm not here, you haven't met me. I'll make a much better first impression tomorrow when I don't have 20 hours of cab and plane on me. Ross Geller : And bus. Julie : Oh my god. Ross Geller : The screaming guy? Julie : And the spitting? Ross Geller : You gotta hear this story. Julie : We're on this bus, that's easily 200 years old... Ross Geller : 200 at least. Julie : ...and this guy... Rachel Green : And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about. Monica Geller : This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen? Julie : Well, Ross and I were in grad school together. Ross Geller : But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig. Rachel Green : Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? Monica Geller : It's an expression. Ross Geller : Well, we just wanted to say a quick hi, and then we're gonna go see the baby. Julie : And then we've gotta get some sleep. Ross Geller : Yeah, it's really 6:00 tomorrow night our time. Chandler Bing : Well, listen, don't tell us what's gonna happen though, 'cause I like to be surprised. Rachel Green : Bye. Ross Geller : Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure. Ross Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Hey, Rach, can I get... Rachel Green : Did you talk to him? Chandler Bing : Not yet. Rachel Green : Then, no. Chandler Bing : So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know. Ross Geller : I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was? Chandler Bing : God? Ross Geller : It was you, pal. Chandler Bing : Well, maybe it was God, doing me. Ross Geller : Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you. Chandler Bing : Well, you owe me one, big guy. Rachel Green : Here's your lemonade. Ross Geller : I didn't order lemonade. Rachel Green : Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that. Ross Geller : But... Rachel Green : Go-go-go-go, come on! So uh, what did you find out? Chandler Bing : He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever. Rachel Green : How is that the silver lining? Chandler Bing : You have to really wanna see it. Ross Geller : Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym. Monica Geller : Pheebes, you know what I'm thinking? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it? Monica Geller : No, although now that's what I'm thinking. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so what were you thinking? Monica Geller : Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! No. Monica Geller : Why not? Phoebe Buffay : Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak. Monica Geller : No you're not. Phoebe Buffay : I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. Ross Geller : Hello? Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi. Anybody know a good tailor? Joey Tribbiani : Needs some clothes altered? Chandler Bing : No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk. Joey Tribbiani : Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. All right, when was 1990? Chandler Bing : Okay. You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance! Ross Geller : Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. Well you didn't hang up either. Rachel Green : She didn't hang up either! Ross Geller : Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y... Rachel Green : Sorry, I thought you were talking to me. Ross Geller : Rachel! I'll just call her back. Rachel Green : Okay! Ross Geller : Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... Rachel Green : Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have. Monica Geller : Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too. Rachel Green : I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. I gotta get out of here. Chandler Bing : Ok, I don't care what you guys say, something's bothering her. Joey Tribbiani : You know, I think I was sixteen. Monica Geller : Please, just a little bit off the back. Phoebe Buffay : I'm still on "no." Rachel Green : Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec? Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no, I'm not fallin' for that again. Phoebe Buffay : What's goin' on? Rachel Green : Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night. Chandler Bing : What stupid thing did you do? Paulo : Bon giorno tutti! Phoebe Buffay : Ewww! Rachel Green : Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. Monica Geller : Rachel, how did this happen? Rachel Green : I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night. Phoebe Buffay : Where? Rachel Green : At his apartment. Is this juice? Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe? Rachel Green : Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser. Monica Geller : Honey, you're not pathetic, you're sad. Chandler Bing : People do stupid things when they're upset. Monica Geller : My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't..., but this is about your horrible mistake. #ALL# : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching. Paulo : Hey, hey Ross. Ross Geller : Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here? Paulo : I do Raquel. Ross Geller : So, uh, he's back. Rachel Green : Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem? Ross Geller : No, not a problem. Rachel Green : Good! I'm glad it's not a problem. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass. Chandler Bing : Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means. Chandler Bing : Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code? Monica Geller : You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it. Monica Geller : I promise. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing. Phoebe Buffay : All right, that's it, I quit. Monica Geller : What? I didn't say anything. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person. Monica Geller : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed. Phoebe Buffay : Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it. Monica Geller : How who wears it? Phoebe Buffay : Demi Moore. Monica Geller : Demi Moore is not a he. Phoebe Buffay : Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten. Monica Geller : That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oh! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore? Monica Geller : She's the actress that was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she's got gorgeous hair. Monica Geller : I know! Frank Buffay Jr. : How long do you want the cuffs? Chandler Bing : At least as long as I have the pants. Frank Buffay Jr. : I just got that. Ok, now we'll do your inseam. Rachel Green : How is she? Phoebe Buffay : It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign. Ross Geller : How's the hair? Phoebe Buffay : I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling. Joey Tribbiani : Can we see her? Phoebe Buffay : Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in. Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : How're you doing? Rachel Green : I'm okay. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, that bad, huh? Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts. Rachel Green : When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me. Joey Tribbiani : You gotta tell Ross how you feel. Rachel Green : Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie? Joey Tribbiani : What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years. Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know. Joey Tribbiani : Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you. Chandler Bing : Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man! Joey Tribbiani : Frankie? What're you talking about? Ross Geller : Hey, what's goin' on? Chandler Bing : Joey's tailor...took advantage of me. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years. Chandler Bing : Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite... Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Cupping. Joey Tribbiani : That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants? Ross Geller : Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you? Joey Tribbiani : What? That's not? Oh my God. Monica Geller : Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better. Ross Geller : I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. Monica Geller : Thank you. My hair is very amused. Chandler Bing : Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Ross Geller : Well, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Rach. Rachel Green : Wait, are you leaving? Ross Geller : Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by "bye!" Rachel Green : Well, can I talk to you for a sec? Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test... Chandler Bing : That's ok. Ross Geller : What's goin' on? Rachel Green : Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all , what? Ross Geller : Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot? Rachel Green : No. No-no-no-no. Ross Geller : Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. Was there a second of all? Rachel Green : No, I think that was the whole all. Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey Tribbiani : I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants. Julie : I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andie McDowell's new haircut? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that. Julie : Really? Phoebe Buffay : You wanna do it right now? Julie : Great! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right? Rachel Green : No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you. Rachel Green : You're welcome. Monica Geller : Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him? Susan Bunch : Oh, is he hungry already? Carol Willick : I guess so. Chandler Bing : You know, it's... something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta get one, too. Ross Geller : What are you guys doing? Chandler Bing : We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle? Ross Geller : Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it. Ross Geller : This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on. Ross Geller : Carol? Chandler Bing : Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding? Carol Willick : Sure. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, does it hurt? Carol Willick : It did at first, but not anymore. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Chandler Bing : So, uh, how often can you do it? Carol Willick : As much as he needs. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger? Julie : Rachel, do you have any muffins left? Rachel Green : Yeah, I forget which ones. Julie : Oh, you're busy, that's ok, I'll get it. Anybody else want one? #ALL# : No thanks. Julie : Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. Rachel Green : Thank you. What a bitch. Julie : Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it? Phoebe Buffay : I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet. Monica Geller : Ok, um, I'll go with you. Julie : Great. Ross Geller : Hi, honey. Chandler Bing : Hey, sweetums. Ross Geller : Hello to the rest. #ALL# : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel? Monica Geller : It's gonna be a problem, isn't it? Chandler Bing : Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship. Monica Geller : But I'm... Phoebe Buffay : Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street. Ross Geller : So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow? Monica Geller : Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal. Ross Geller : It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this. Monica Geller : You're welcome. Phoebe Buffay : Woof, woof. Joey Tribbiani : Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Hey Annabelle. Annabelle : Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy? Joey Tribbiani : Who? Annabelle : Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man. Hombre Man : Hombre? Joey Tribbiani : What's he doin' in my section? Annabelle : I guess he doesn't know. Joey Tribbiani : Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? Hey, how ya doin'? Hombre Man : Mornin'. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory. Hombre Man : Your territory, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Bijan for men? Guy : No thanks. Hombre Man : Hombre? Guy : Yeah. All right. Hombre Man : You were saying? Monica Geller : Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : We were shopping, and we had lunch. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, all right. What did I have? Monica Geller : You had a salad. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no wonder I don't feel full. Rachel Green : Hey, guys, what's up. Phoebe Buffay : I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad. Rachel Green : Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy? Phoebe Buffay : Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur. Rachel Green : You went shopping for fur? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, uh, boobs. Rachel Green : You bought boobs? Phoebe Buffay : Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras. Joey Tribbiani : Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Bijan for... Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee. Annabelle : Oh, actually I sorta have plans. Hombre Man : Ready, Annabelle? Annabelle : You bet. Maybe some other time? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. Bijan for men? Bijan for men?! Carol Willick : Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep. Ross Geller : Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son. Susan Bunch : Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person. Rachel Green : Oh, this is so cute. Susan Bunch : Oh, I got that for him. Ross Geller : My mommies love me. That's clever. Monica Geller : Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju Hi, Jew! Uh huh? Uh huh? Ok. Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. Rachel Green : Did you just say Hi, Jew? Monica Geller : Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith. Phoebe Buffay : Ben, dinner! Ross Geller : Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that. Phoebe Buffay : Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. Chandler Bing : What did you just do? Phoebe Buffay : I licked my arm, what? Ross Geller : It's breast milk. Phoebe Buffay : So? Rachel Green : Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person. Joey Tribbiani : What is the big deal? Chandler Bing : What did you just do? Ross Geller : Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk? Phoebe Buffay : You won't even taste it? Ross Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Not even if you just pretend that it's milk? Ross Geller : Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it. Monica Geller : Hey, where is everybody? Rachel Green : They took Ben to the park. Where've you been? Monica Geller : Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket. Rachel Green : Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. Here are your keys, hon. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars? Monica Geller : You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card. Rachel Green : And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket? Monica Geller : That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent. Rachel Green : Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with? Monica Geller : Judy. Rachel Green : Who? Monica Geller : Julie. Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Jody! Rachel Green : You were with Julie? Monica Geller : Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh my God. Monica Geller : Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me. Rachel Green : Yeah, right. Sure! Monica Geller : Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out! Rachel Green : Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. Monica Geller : That is not true! Rachel Green : Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here? Monica Geller : Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid? Rachel Green : Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. Monica Geller : Hi, who's this? Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? No, I don't care what Steve thinks. Hi, Steve. Carol Willick : Hey! Carol Willick : How did we do? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out. Ross Geller : I did not freak out. Carol Willick : Why'd you freak out? Ross Geller : Because it's breast milk. It's gross. Carol Willick : My breast milk is gross? Susan Bunch : This should be fun. Ross Geller : No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults. Chandler Bing : Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike. Carol Willick : Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. Ross Geller : That would be no. Phoebe Buffay : Come on. It doesn't taste bad. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sorta like, uh... Susan Bunch : Cantaloupe juice. Joey Tribbiani : Exactly. Ross Geller : You've tasted it? You've tasted it. Susan Bunch : Uh huh. Ross Geller : Oh, you've tasted it. Susan Bunch : You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true. Ross Geller : Gimme the bottle. Gimme the towel. Chandler Bing : Howdy. Joey Tribbiani : Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre. Chandler Bing : Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed. Joey Tribbiani : Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day. Chandler Bing : What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you. Joey Tribbiani : I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese. Chandler Bing : All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I guess you're right. Chandler Bing : You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna do it. Chandler Bing : All right. Now go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker. Monica Geller : I don't know what else to say. Rachel Green : Well that works out good, because I'm not listening. Monica Geller : I feel terrible, I really do. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife? Monica Geller : Rachel, say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible? Rachel Green : Yes. Monica Geller : It's that terrible? Rachel Green : Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually , but now she's actually stealing you. Monica Geller : Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you. Rachel Green : I love you too. Phoebe Buffay : You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. Oh, I really needed that. Monica Geller : Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me? Rachel Green : I'd do anything for you, you know that. Monica Geller : I'd do anything for you. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, wait, wait! Joey Tribbiani : Mornin'. I said, mornin'. Hombre Man : I heard ya. Store Guy : All right, everybody, I'm openin' the doors. You boys ready? Hombre Man : Ready. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I'm ready. Customer : You idiot, you stupid cowboy, you blinded me, I'm suing! Store Guy : Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do? Hombre Man : I'm sorry. I am such a doofus. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Annabelle : My god, what happened? Joey Tribbiani : These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now? Annabelle : Sure. Julie : So. Rachel Green : So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right? Julie : I know, I probably shouldn't even tell you this, but I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you. Rachel Green : Really? Me? Julie : Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't. Rachel Green : Well, you're not totally paranoid. Julie : Oy. Rachel Green : Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right. Julie : Thanks. Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something? Rachel Green : Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it. Julie : I'd love it too. Shoot, I gotta go. So, I'll talk to you later. Rachel Green : All right, Julie. Julie : Bye. Rachel Green : Bye. What a manipulative bitch. Ross Geller : That's not bad. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : So how was Joan? Chandler Bing : I broke up with her. Chandler Bing : They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them. Rachel Green : Come on, they were not that huge. Chandler Bing : I'm tellin' you, she leaned back, I could see her brain. Monica Geller : How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things? Joey Tribbiani : Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts. Chandler Bing : You or me? Ross Geller : I got it. Uh, Joey, women don't have Adam's apples. Joey Tribbiani : You guys are messin' with me, right? #ALL# : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa." Phoebe Buffay : You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason. Chandler Bing : Maureen Rosilla. Ross Geller : Not hating Yanni is not a real reason. Monica Geller : Hello, Mr. Heckles. Mr. Heckles : You're doing it again. Monica Geller : We're not doing anything. Mr. Heckles : You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds. Rachel Green : You don't have birds. Mr. Heckles : I could have birds. Monica Geller : Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down. Mr. Heckles : Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party. Rachel Green : All right, bye-bye. Chandler Bing : Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky. Ross Geller : We'll give you Janice. Phoebe Buffay : I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing." Rachel Green : "Oh, my, god." Joey Tribbiani : "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!" Monica Geller : Stop with the broom, we're not making noise. Rachel Green : We won. We won! Monica Geller : Mr. Heckles. Rachel Green : How did this happen? Mr. Treeger : He musta been sweepin'. They found a broom in his hand. Monica Geller : That's terrible. Mr. Treeger : I know. I was sweepin' yesterday. It coulda been me. Ross Geller : Sure, sweepin'. You never know. Mr. Treeger : You never know. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles! Chandler Bing : Ok, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true. Joey Tribbiani : Such as? Phoebe Buffay : Like crop circles, or the Bermuda triangle, or evolution? Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution? Phoebe Buffay : Nah. Not really. Ross Geller : You don't believe in evolution? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy. Ross Geller : Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, too easy? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I just don't buy it. Ross Geller : Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, don't get me started on gravity. Ross Geller : You uh, you don't believe in gravity? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed. Chandler Bing : Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed. Mr. Treeger : There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you. Monica Geller : What can we do for you? Buddy Boyles : All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine". Monica Geller : Well, what about his family? Buddy Boyles : He didn't have any. Rachel Green : Ok, so let's talk money. Buddy Boyles : All right, there was none. Let's talk signing. You be noisy girl number one, you be noisy girl number two. Monica Geller : I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge! Rachel Green : Have you ever seen so much crap? Chandler Bing : Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap Joey Tribbiani : Check this out. Can I have this? Ross Geller : How can you not believe in evolution? Phoebe Buffay : Just don't. Look at this funky shirt! Ross Geller : Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time. Phoebe Buffay : Really? You can actually see it? Ross Geller : You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over. Phoebe Buffay : See, I didn't know that. Ross Geller : Well, there you go. Phoebe Buffay : Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why? Chandler Bing : Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances." Joey Tribbiani : Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too. Chandler Bing : April 18th, excessive noise. Italian guy's gay roommate comes home with the dry-cleaning. Well that's excellent. Rachel Green : Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this. Monica Geller : Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps. Rachel Green : What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool. Monica Geller : It doesn't go with any of my stuff. Rachel Green : Well, what about my stuff? Monica Geller : You don't have any stuff. Rachel Green : You still think of it as your apartment, don't you? Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room. Monica Geller : Mmmmm. Rachel Green : Ok, while you "mmm" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp. Ross Geller : Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts. Ross Geller : Please tell me you're joking. Phoebe Buffay : Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't. Ross Geller : No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because-- Phoebe Buffay : What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope. Ross Geller : Is there blood coming out of my ears? Joey Tribbiani : Check it out, check it out. Heckles' high school yearbook. Chandler Bing : Wow, he looks so normal. Phoebe Buffay : He's even kind of cute. Joey Tribbiani : "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school. Chandler Bing : Funniest? Heckles? Joey Tribbiani : That's what it says. Chandler Bing : Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that? Phoebe Buffay : I'd call that excessive. Chandler Bing : Whoa! Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. And he was in the scale modeler's club, and I was, well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool. Joey Tribbiani : So, you were both dorks. Big deal. Chandler Bing : I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off? Joey Tribbiani : Have you been here all night? Chandler Bing : Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, Heckles was a nut case. Chandler Bing : Our trains are on the same track, ok? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. Come on, I'll buy you breakfast, let's go. Chandler Bing : What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody. Chandler Bing : How do you know that? How? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out. Chandler Bing : You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I understand. Joey Tribbiani : You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. Every year, all right? Chandler Bing : You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man. Joey Tribbiani : Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably. Chandler Bing : Hi, it's me. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, my, god. Phoebe Buffay : Janice? You called Janice? Chandler Bing : Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend? Ross Geller : You remember Janice, right? Chandler Bing : Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody. Janice Litman Goralnik : Helloo!! Chandler Bing : Oh, my, god! Joey Tribbiani : Geez, look how fat she got. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hey, it's everybody. Chandler Bing : Janice, you're-- Janice Litman Goralnik : Yes, I am. Chandler Bing : Is it--? Janice Litman Goralnik : Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now. Chandler Bing : Congratulations. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : You couldn't have told me about this on the phone? Janice Litman Goralnik : And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun. Monica Geller : Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while? Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Hide the Lamp. Rachel Green : Monica, let it go. Monica Geller : Did you know I was allergic to shellfish? Rachel Green : Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man. Ross Geller : Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities. Ross Geller : It's the only possibility, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this? Ross Geller : There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you caved. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry? Rachel Green : I am. Let me just get my coat. Monica Geller : Ok, all right. It was an accident, I swear, all right. I was putting on my jacket, and the thing, and the lamp, and it broke. Rachel Green : Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and then, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken? Monica Geller : Phoebe, tell her! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you. Rachel Green : Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp. Chandler Bing : Neat. I'm gonna die alone. Rachel Green : Ok, you win. Monica Geller : Chandler, you're not gonna die alone. Chandler Bing : Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake. Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh. Why is that? Chandler Bing : If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, yknow. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout! Monica Geller : You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone. Chandler Bing : Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there. Rachel Green : Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with. Monica Geller : You are not a freak. You're a guy. Rachel Green : She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different. Chandler Bing : In a bad way? Monica Geller : No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone. Rachel Green : Yeah. You're not gonna end up alone. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone! Monica Geller : You made it! Phoebe Buffay : You're there! Rachel Green : You are ready to make a commitment! Chandler Bing : Whoa! Don't know about that. Rachel Green : What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break? Monica Geller : No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment. Rachel Green : Thank you. Monica Geller : That's fine. Chandler Bing : Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, uh, you can't recycle yearbooks, can you? Chandler Bing : I'll take that. Joey Tribbiani : You want his yearbook? Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it. Monica Geller : Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell. Rachel Green : It's really not that big! Chandler Bing : Takin' that with you, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Ross Geller : You comin'? Chandler Bing : Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down. Alison : Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher wanted"? Chandler Bing : Sure. Rachel Green : Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. It's open you guys. Stranger : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi, hi can I help you? Stranger : Yeah, I'm looking for Phoebe, does she still live here? Rachel Green : Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her. Stranger : Great. Uhh, just tell her her husband stopped by. Rachel Green : What? Stranger : Hey, how, how did you do that? Joey Tribbiani : This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card. Monica Geller : I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve. Monica Geller : Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking? Ross Geller : You see, and you thought she'd be judgemental. Phoebe Buffay : OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend. Monica Geller : Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger. #ALL# : Huuh. Monica Geller : Well, didn't you? Phoebe Buffay : I might have. Monica Geller : I can't believe you didn't tell me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, c'mon, like you tell me everything. Monica Geller : What have I not told you? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace. Rachel Green : What! Monica Geller : Wait a minute, who told you? You are dead meat. Chandler Bing : I didn't know it was a big secret. Monica Geller : Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple. Phoebe Buffay : You have a third nipple? Chandler Bing : You bitch. Ross Geller : Whip it out, whip it out. Chandler Bing : C'mon, there's nothin' to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless. Rachel Green : Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples? Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin. Ross Geller : Joey, what did you think a nubbin was? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again. #ALL# : Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin. Chandler Bing : Joey was in a porno movie. #ALL# : Huuh. Chandler Bing : If I'm goin' down, I'm takin' everybody with me. Ross Geller : You were in a porno? Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it. Monica Geller : That is wild. Ross Geller : So what's it shaped like? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, is there a hair on it? Joey Tribbiani : What happens if you flick it? Ross Geller : So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special? Chandler Bing : Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia. Julie : You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you. Chandler Bing : Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area? Ross Geller : You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know? Rachel Green : Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special. Monica Geller : Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it. Rachel Green : Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it. #ALL# : Woah. Joey Tribbiani : Foxy lady. Julie : Where you goin'? Phoebe Buffay : Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan, he's skating tonight at the Garden, he's in the Capades. Joey Tribbiani : The Ice Capades? Chandler Bing : No, no the gravel capades. Yeah, the turns aren't as fast but when Snoopy falls. . . funny. Monica Geller : I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again. Phoebe Buffay : OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me. OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband. Ross Geller : Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here? Chandler Bing : Oh I see, I see, because of the third nipple thing. Ha ha ha ha. . . Ross Geller : OK sweetie, I'll see you later. Julie : See you later Rach. Rachel Green : Bye-bye Julie. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey, c'mon, cut it out. Ross Geller : Hey? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Can I ask you somethin'? Rachel Green : Sure. Ross Geller : Naa. Rachel Green : What? C'mon, talk to me. Ross Geller : OK, what's the longest you've been in the relationship before ha, have, having the sex? Rachel Green : Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex? Ross Geller : Technically, huh, no. Rachel Green : Wow. Is it, is it 'cause she's so cold in bed. Or, or is it 'cause she's like, kinda bossy, makes it feel like school? Ross Geller : No, no, she's great and it's not like we haven't done anything. I mean, uh, uh, we, we do plenty of other stuff, lot's of other stuff, like uhh. . . Rachel Green : No, no no no, don't need to know the details. Ross Geller : It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird. Rachel Green : No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I think it's sexy. Ross Geller : Sexy? Rachel Green : Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex. Ross Geller : No kidding? Rachel Green : Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I'd wait. Ross Geller : You'd wait? Rachel Green : Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I'd wait some more. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working. Ross Geller : Women really want this? Rachel Green : More than jewelry. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Duncan : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Ta-da. Duncan : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Duncan : Ahh, look at you, you look great. Phoebe Buffay : Do I? Thank you, so do you. Duncan : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice. Duncan : You always said I'd make it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, ya know, I'm kind of spooky that way. Wooo. Duncan : I missed you. I'm gonna get changed. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Duncan : Um, now. Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, right, OK. Ole. Duncan : What? Phoebe Buffay : Um, the matador. Ole, ha ha ha. Ross Geller : Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. Chandler Bing : Uh, Julie. Julie : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright. Ross Geller : Hi everyone. #ALL# : Hi. Ross Geller : I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before. Rachel Green : Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing? Ross Geller : Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey. Rachel Green : What did, what did he say? Ross Geller : Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . . Chandler Bing : What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie. Ross Geller : Pop it in. Joey Tribbiani : I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're OK watching a video filled with two nippled people. Rachel Green : Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see. Ross Geller : What's wrong with people having sex? Rachel Green : Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here. Monica Geller : Hell, I wanna see Joey. Julie : So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind. Chandler Bing : OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen. Monica Geller : All I say is, she better get the job. Ross Geller : Looks to me like he's the one getting the job. Joey Tribbiani : Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, you know that's bad fo r the paper tray. Chandler Bing : Nice work my friend. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . . Phoebe Buffay : So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday. Duncan : Oh, yeah, um, alright, I kinda need a divorce. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. . .K. How come? Duncan : Umm, actually, I'm getting married again. Phoebe Buffay : What? Duncan : Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight. Phoebe Buffay : Huuh. Duncan : Yeah, I know, I. Phoebe Buffay : I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties. Duncan : I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore. Phoebe Buffay : So how long have you known? Duncan : Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in. Phoebe Buffay : And um, and there's actually a, a woman? Duncan : Her name's Debra. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with? Duncan : Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Duncan : But now I know I don't have a choice about this, I was born this way. Phoebe Buffay : I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.' Duncan : I'm, I'm still me. Phoebe Buffay : Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago? Monica Geller : You know, it still smells like monkey in there. Julie : That saves us a conversation. Chandler Bing : Well, listen, this has been great but I'm officially wiped. Joey Tribbiani : Me too, we should get goin'. Rachel Green : No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore. Monica Geller : Rachel, that's all we do. Rachel Green : Maybe that's all we do, what about Julie? Julie : What about Julie? Rachel Green : Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything. Julie : Well, that could take a while. Rachel Green : So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie? Chandler Bing : I got the time to get to know Julie. Joey Tribbiani : I got time. Monica Geller : Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? That's fine. Rachel Green : OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like? Julie : Well, in a nutshell. . . Rachel Green : Nah, uh, uh, uh, uh. Phoebe Buffay : So, um, have you told your parents? Duncan : No, but it'll be OK, they're pretty cool, my brother's straight so. . . Phoebe Buffay : Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better. Duncan : I love you Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : So your brother's straigh huh? Seriously. Julie : And my second grade teacher was Ms. Thomas, and my first grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb. Rachel Green : Mrs., Mrs. Gobb? Julie : No Cobb, as in cobb salad. Rachel Green : Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad? Chandler Bing : I'm goin' home. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Boy that Julie's a talker, huh? Ross Geller : Goodnight. Rachel Green : So, it's pretty late, you're probably uh, not still planning on. . . Ross Geller : Oh, no no, I am. Rachel Green : Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous? Ross Geller : Um, no, I uh, I have done it before. Rachel Green : Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce? Ross Geller : I uh, I don't know, I guess I'm just gonna see, see what happens. Rachel Green : OK, gook luck. Ross Geller : Wha, uhh, what? Rachel Green : Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from. Ross Geller : OK, now I'm nervous. Rachel Green : Maybe you should put it off. Ross Geller : No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know. Rachel Green : I know, yeah, sorry. Ross Geller : What, it's not your fault. Rachel Green : Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Rachel Green : And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening. Ross Geller : Ohh. . . Thanks Rach, goodnight. Rachel Green : Ohh, God. Ross Geller : Good morning. Old Woman : Well, somebody got some last night. Ross Geller : Twice. Ross Geller : Man, I sure miss Julie. Chandler Bing : Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. Ross Geller : You ever figure out what that thing's for? Chandler Bing : No, see, I'm trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I'm always answering the phone, people'll think I don't have a life. My god, Rodrigo never gets pinned. Joey Tribbiani : Here comes the beep, you know what to do. Jade : Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did? Chandler Bing : What? Jade : I got a little drunk...and naked. Chandler Bing : Bob here. Chandler Bing : What've you been up to? Jade : Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster. Chandler Bing : Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. I love her. Ross Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : I'm back. Jade : So, are we gonna get together or what? Chandler Bing : Um, absolutely. Uh, how 'bout tomorrow afternoon? Do you know uh, Central Perk in the Village, say, five-ish? Jade : Great, I'll see you then. Chandler Bing : Ok. Ok. Having a phone has finally paid off. Ross Geller : Even though you do do a good Bob impression, I'm thinkin' when she sees you tomorow, she's probably gonna realize, "hey, you're not Bob." Chandler Bing : I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table. Ross Geller : Oh my god. You are pure evil. Chandler Bing : Ok, pure evil, horny and alone. I've done this. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico. #ALL# : Hi, Julie! Rachel Green : Hi, Julie. Chandler Bing : Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday. Phoebe Buffay : Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20? Chandler Bing : Hey, come on, we got the gift, the concert, and the cake. Joey Tribbiani : Do we need a cake? Chandler Bing : Look guys, I know it's a little steep. Rachel Green : Yeah, whoosh! Chandler Bing : But it's Ross. Phoebe Buffay : It's Ross. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler Bing : I'll see you guys later, I gotta go...do a thing. Ross Geller : Ok, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, you're not really gonna go through with this, are you? Chandler Bing : You know, I think I might just. Rachel Green : So uh, what are you guys doing for dinner tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Well I guess I gotta start savin' up for Ross's birthday, so I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies. Phoebe Buffay : Can you believe how much this is gonna cost? Rachel Green : Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know? God, and it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this birthday thing, it's for Ross. Joey Tribbiani : For Ross. Rachel Green : For Ross, Ross, Ross. Monica Geller : Oh my god. Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job. Joey Tribbiani : If it's not you, this is a horrible story. Monica Geller : Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, someplace nice. How much do you think I can get for my kidney? Ross Geller : I'm tellin' you. You can't do this. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods. Ross Geller : That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness. Chandler Bing : We don't know Bob, ok? We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy. Ross Geller : Go over there and tell that woman the truth. Chandler Bing : All right. Ross Geller : Go. Chandler Bing : Hi. Jade : Hi. Chandler Bing : Listen, I have to, uh, um, I have to, I have to confess something. Jade : Yes? Chandler Bing : Whoever stood you up is a jerk. Jade : How did you--? Chandler Bing : I don't know. I just had this weird sense. You know, but that's me. I'm weird and sensitive. Tissue? Jade : Thanks. Chandler Bing : No, you keep the pack. I'm all cried out today. Ross Geller : Ok, ok, here is to my sister, the newly-appointed head lunch chef-- Monica Geller : Who is also in charge of purchasing. Ross Geller : Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing-- Monica Geller : Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there. Ross Geller : Uh, lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there. Here's to my little sister-- Monica Geller : Oh, wait, and I got a beeper! Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Phoebe Buffay : Let's see! Ross Geller : That's fine, I'll just wait! Monica Geller : Oh, sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Sorry, sorry. Ross Geller : Monica! Waiter : Are we ready to order? Rachel Green : Oh, you know what, we haven't even looked yet. Waiter : Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, look at these prices. Rachel Green : Yeah, these are pretty ch-ching. Joey Tribbiani : What are these, like famous chickens? Chandler Bing : Hey, sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Mon. I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade? Ross Geller : Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine? Chandler Bing : Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number. Ross Geller : Hey, tell me again, what do I do when Mr. Roper calls? Waiter : Do I dare ask? Monica Geller : Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns. Ross Geller : That sounds great. Same for me. Waiter : And for the gentleman? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper? Waiter : You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss? Rachel Green : Ok, I will have the uh, side salad. Waiter : And what will that be on the side of? Rachel Green : Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water? Waiter : And for you? Phoebe Buffay : Um, I'm gonna have a cup of the cucumber soup, and, um, take care. Chandler Bing : I will have the uh, Cajun catfish. Waiter : Anything else? Chandler Bing : Yes, how 'bout a verse of Killing Me Softly. You're gonna sneeze on my fish, aren't you? Ross Geller : Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks. Rachel Green : Um, everyone? Ross Geller : Oh, you're right, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Ross Geller : Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay. Monica Geller : Oh, thank you! Ross Geller : So five of us is, $33.50 apiece. Phoebe Buffay : No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen. Chandler Bing : Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just... Ross Geller : Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal. Phoebe Buffay : Not for you. Monica Geller : All right, what's goin' on? Rachel Green : Ok, look you guys, I really don't want to get into this right now. I think it'll just make everyone uncomfortable. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. All right, fine. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You can tell us. Ross Geller : Hello, it's us, all right? It'll be fine. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, um, uh, we three feel like, that uh, sometimes you guys don't get that uh, we don't have as much money as you. Monica Geller : Ok. Ross Geller : I hear ya. Chandler Bing : We can talk about that. Phoebe Buffay : Well, then...Let's. Ross Geller : I, I just never think of money as an issue. Rachel Green : That's 'cause you have it. Ross Geller : That's a good point. Chandler Bing : So um, how come you guys haven't talked about this before? Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause it's always somethin', you know, like Monica's new job, or the whole Ross's birthday hoopla. Ross Geller : Wha--? Whoa, hey, I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative--there's gonna be a hoopla? Rachel Green : Basically, there's the thing, and then there's the stuff after the thing. Monica Geller : If it makes anybody feel better, then we can just forget the thing, and we'll just do the gift. Ross Geller : G-gift? The thing's not the gift? Chandler Bing : No, the thing was, we were gonna go see Hootie and the Blowfish. Ross Geller : Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio. Phoebe Buffay : No, now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert. Ross Geller : No, look, hey, it's my birthday, and the important thing is that we all be together. Monica Geller : All of us. Chandler Bing : Together. Ross Geller : Not at the concert. Rachel Green : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Chandler Bing : So, the ebola virus. That's gotta suck, huh? Chandler Bing : Gee, Monica, what's in the bag? Monica Geller : I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's like a skit. Monica Geller : Why, it's dinner for six. 5 steaks, and an eggplant for Phoebe. Ross Geller : Whoo! Phoebe Buffay : Cool. Monica Geller : Yeah, we switched meat suppliers at work, and the new guys gave me the steaks as sort of a thank-you. Ross Geller : But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope? Chandler Bing : By the way, this didn't seem so dorky in the hall. Ross Geller : Come on. Chandler Bing : Why, it's six tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish! The Blowfish! Monica Geller : It's on us, all right, so don't worry. It's our treat. Phoebe Buffay : So...Thank you. Ross Geller : Could you be less enthused? Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like-- Monica Geller : Like? Joey Tribbiani : Charity. Monica Geller : Charity? Ross Geller : We're just tryin' to do a nice thing here. Rachel Green : Ross, you have to understand that your nice thing makes us feel this big. Phoebe Buffay : Actually, it makes us feel that big. Ross Geller : I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys. Chandler Bing : If you guys feel this big, maybe that's not our fault. Maybe that's just how you feel. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, now you're tellin' us how you feel. Rachel Green : Ok, we never shoulda talked about this. Phoebe Buffay : I'm just gonna pass on the concert, 'cause I'm just not in a very Hootie place right now. Rachel Green : Me neither. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Monica Geller : Guys, we bought the tickets. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff. Chandler Bing : Why did you look at me when you said that? Monica Geller : Well, I guess now we can't go. Rachel Green : What? Come on, you do what you want to do. Do we always have to do everything together? Monica Geller : You know what? You're right. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. Ross Geller : Fine. Joey Tribbiani : Fine. Chandler Bing : Fine. Rachel Green : Fine. Monica Geller : All right. We're gonna go. It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then. Ross Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Yeah? Ross Geller : Geez! Are you ready? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today. Ross Geller : Whoa! You had sex today? Chandler Bing : Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. I was awesome, ok? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming. Ross Geller : Wow. Chandler Bing : Now I know it's been awhile, but I took it as a good sign. Ross Geller : Still doing the screening thing? Chandler Bing : I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again. Machine : Here comes the beep, you know what to do. Jade : Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy. Chandler Bing : Bob here. Jade : Oh, hi. Chandler Bing : So, uh, you met someone, huh? Jade : Yes, yes, I did. In fact, I had sex with him 2 hours ago. Chandler Bing : So, uh, how was he? Jade : Eh. Chandler Bing : Eh? Jade : Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name. Chandler Bing : Well, that makes me feel so good. Jade : It was just so awkward and bumpy. Ross Geller : Bumpy? Chandler Bing : Well, maybe he had some kind of uh, new, cool style, that you're not familiar with. And uh maybe you have to get used to it. Jade : Well there really wasn't much time to get used to it, you know what I mean? Monica Geller : You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this. Ross Geller : Yeah, I know, it's my birthday. We all should be here. Chandler Bing : So, let's go. Ross Geller : Well maybe, you know, maybe we should stay for one song. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now. Monica Geller : You know, the guys are probably having a great time. Joey Tribbiani : Come on you guys, one more time. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. One. Joey Tribbiani : Nooo. Monica Geller : That was amazing! Ross Geller : Excellent, that was excellent. Chandler Bing : I can't believe the guys missed this. Ross Geller : What guys? Oh, yeah. Steven Fisher : Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you? Monica Geller : Do I know you? Steven Fisher : You used to be my babysitter. Monica Geller : Oh my god, little Stevie Fisher? How've you been? Steven Fisher : Good, good, I'm a lawyer now. Monica Geller : You can't be a lawyer. You're eight. Steven Fisher : Listen, it was nice to see you. I gotta run backstage. Monica Geller : Uh, wait, backstage? Steven Fisher : Oh, yeah, my firm represents the band. Ross Geller : Ross. Chandler Bing : Chandler. Steven Fisher : How are you? Look, you guys wanna meet the group? Come on. So, are you one of the ones who fooled around with my dad? Ross Geller : Hey, you guys. Rachel Green : Happy birthday. Ross Geller : Oh, thank you, thanks. So uh, how was your night last night? Rachel Green : Oh, well, it pretty much sucked. How was yours? Monica Geller : Yeah, ours pretty much sucked, oh, but, I did run into little Stevie Fisher. Remember him? Rachel Green : Oh yeah. I used to babysit him. Hey, how's his dad? Monica Geller : Uh, good. Ross Geller : Uh, aside from that, the whole evening was pretty much a bust. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we really missed you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, look, we were just saying, this whole thing is really stupid. Phoebe Buffay : We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey? Monica Geller : No, I just, I fell down. Rachel Green : On someone's lips? Where'd you get the hickey? Monica Geller : You know, a party, or-- Rachel Green : What party? Ross Geller : It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band. Joey Tribbiani : You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish? Chandler Bing : Yes, apparently Stevie and the band are like this. Rachel Green : Who gave you that hickey? Monica Geller : That would be the work of a Blowfish. Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck". Ross Geller : Look, don't blame us. You guys coulda been there, you know. Rachel Green : What, as part of your poor friends outreach program? Monica Geller : It's work. Chandler Bing : I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it. Joey Tribbiani : And we don't work hard? Monica Geller : Yeah, hi, it's Monica. I just got a page. Chandler Bing : I'm just saying that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more. Joey Tribbiani : And you feel like we hold you back. Chandler Bing : Yes. Rachel Green : Oh! Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : Leon, Leon. Shhh! Guys. Wait, I don't understand. Those steaks were just a gift from the meat vendor. That was not a kick back. I'll just replace them and we can forget the whole thing. What corporate policy? No. Yeah. All right. I just got fired. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Waitress : Here's your check. That'll be $4.12. Joey Tribbiani : Let me get that. You got five bucks? Machine : Here comes the beep, you know what to do. Jade : Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night... Monica Geller : Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying? Ross Geller : Let me hold him for a sec. There. Huh? There we are. Monica Geller : Maye it's me. Ross Geller : Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants. Chandler Bing : You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody. Ross Geller : There we go. All better. Monica Geller : There's my little boy. Chandler Bing : Can I uh see something? Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Monica Geller : He hates me. My nephew hates me. Ross Geller : Come on, don't do this. Monica Geller : What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then? Chandler Bing : Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat. Joey Tribbiani : Goo, goo, goo, waaah! Monica Geller : That is so funny. Let me see that. Joey Tribbiani : Are you ok, Ross? Ross Geller : I don't know. What's in this pie? Monica Geller : Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi-- Ross Geller : Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie. Monica Geller : No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special. Ross Geller : And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi. Monica Geller : No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and--oh my god. Ross Geller : Ugh. Monica Geller : Oh my god. Ross Geller : Ugh. It's definitely getting worse. Monica Geller : Is your tongue swelling up? Ross Geller : Either that or my mouth is getting smaller. Monica Geller : All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital. Joey Tribbiani : Is he gonna be ok? Monica Geller : Yeah, he's just gotta get a shot. Ross Geller : You know, you know, actually it's getting better. It is. It is. Let's not go. Anyone for Thcrabble? Monica Geller : Jacket now. Ross Geller : What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital. Chandler Bing : We'll watch him. Ross Geller : I don't think tho. Joey Tribbiani : What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we? Chandler Bing : I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window. Ross Geller : Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag. Joey Tribbiani : Hat, milk, got it. Ross Geller : ??? Thro up a thro thro--a thro thro! Joey Tribbiani : Consider it done. Chandler Bing : You understood that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, my uncle Sal has a really big tongue. Chandler Bing : Is he the one with the beautiful wife? Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower. Rachel Green : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget. Terry : Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see ya for a minute? Rachel Green : What's up? Terry : F.Y.I.. I've decided to pay a professional musician to play in here on Sunday afternoons. Her name is Stephanie... something. She's supposed to be very good. Rachel Green : But what about Phoebe? Terry : Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around. Rachel Green : Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her. Terry : Uh-- Rachel Green : Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her? Phoebe Buffay : Lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, as needed. Chandler Bing : You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil? Joey Tribbiani : It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby. Chandler Bing : No, I got him. Joey Tribbiani : No, seriously. Chandler Bing : Oh, seriously you want him? Caroline : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hello. Caroline : And who is this little cutie pie? Chandler Bing : Well, don't, don't think me immodest, but, me? Joey Tribbiani : You wanna smell him? Caroline : I assume we're talking about the baby now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head. Caroline : I think my uterus just skipped a beat. Joey Tribbiani : What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you? Caroline : I think it's great you guys are doing this. Chandler Bing : Well, we are great guys. Caroline : You know, my brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years. What agency did you two go through? Phoebe Buffay : But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk. Rachel Green : Honey, I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top. Rachel Green : Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, ok. You probably did everything you could. Rachel Green : Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything. Terry : I, I don't know. Rachel Green : Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine. Terry : You don't clean the cappuccino machine? Rachel Green : Of course I clean it. I mean, I,I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it. Terry : Oh, all right, fine, fine, fine. Rachel Green : Done. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah. Who's workin' for you babe? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get? Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing. Rachel Green : Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman beause she's a professional. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid. Rachel Green : Well, but Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. Thank you! La la la la la la la.... Ross Geller : Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun. Doctor : Hello, there. I'm Dr. Carlin. I see someone's having an allergic reaction. Monica Geller : Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles. Ross Geller : Did you tell him about my thquirt gun idea? Monica Geller : My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally. Doctor : No, under these circumstances it has to be an injection, and it has to be now. Ross Geller : Tho? Ross Geller : Ohhh. Monica Geller : That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me? Ross Geller : Ok. Monica Geller : Ok. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand! Chandler Bing : That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi, taxi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, look at that talent. Chandler Bing : Just practicing. You're good. Carry on. Girl 1 On Bus : Hey, you. He's just adorable. Chandler Bing : Ok, but can you tell him that, because he thinks he's too pink. Girl 2 On Bus : So what are you guys out doing today? Joey Tribbiani : Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff. Chandler Bing : You done? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Girl 1 : Oh, there's our stop. Joey Tribbiani : Get outta here. This is our stop too. Girl 2 : You guys live around here too? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the uh sidewalk. Chandler Bing : You know it? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, look, since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we uh, get together for a drink? Girl 1 : So uh, you wanna go to Marquel's? Chandler Bing : Oh, sure, they love us over there. Girl 2 : Where's your baby? Chandler Bing : Ben! Ben! Ben! Chandler Bing : Oh, that's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord. Both : Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait! Monica Geller : Are you sure he didn't break it because it really hurts. Doctor : No, it's just a good bone bruise. And, right here is the puncture wound from your ring. Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Sorry. Sorry! Hey! Hey! I got my s's back! Which we can celebrate later. Celebrate. Phoebe Buffay : ... with the double double double-jointed boy. Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. I'm Stephanie. Phoebe Buffay : Right. My name was on there, but now it just says "carrot cake". So, um, so um, how many chords do you know? Stephanie Schiffer : All of them. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, so you know D? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, do you know A minor? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, do you know how to go from D to A minor? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Um, so does your guitar have a strap? Stephanie Schiffer : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Mine does. Stephanie knows all the chords. Chandler Bing : Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again. Rachel Green : Ok, everybody, let's give a uh nice warm Central Perk welcome to-- Phoebe Buffay : Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk! Rachel Green : Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer. Stephanie Schiffer : Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. Zachary. Phoebe Buffay : You're all invited to bite me! Chandler Bing : Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here? Transit Authority Guy : He's here. I'm assuming one of you is the father. Chandler Bing : That's me. Joey Tribbiani : I'm him. Chandler Bing : Actually, uh, we're both the father. Both : Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy! Chandler Bing : Please tell me you know which one is our baby. Joey Tribbiani : Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks. Chandler Bing : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : Or clowns. Oh, oh wait. That one's definitely Ben. Remember, he had that cute little mole by his mouth. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Hey, Ben, remember us? Ok, the mole came off. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh! Chandler Bing : What're we gonna do? What're we gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns. Chandler Bing : Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby? Joey Tribbiani : You got a better idea? Chandler Bing : All right, call it in the air. Joey Tribbiani : Heads. Chandler Bing : Heads it is. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Whew! Chandler Bing : We have to assign heads to something. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads. Chandler Bing : What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday? Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi. Rachel Green : Here. I thought you might be cold. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Rachel Green : Whoa, look at you, you did pretty well. Phoebe Buffay : Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better. Rachel Green : Do you? Phoebe Buffay : No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat. Rachel Green : Well, you know, honey, I don't think everybody gets Smelly Cat. You know, I mean, if all you've ever actually had are healthy pets, then, whoosh! Phoebe Buffay : It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money. Rachel Green : Well, people missed you in there. And in fact, there was actually a request for "Smelly Cat". Phoebe Buffay : Really? From who? Rachel Green : Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite. Kid : Hi. Uh, did I accidentally drop a condom in your case? It's kind of an emergency. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Here you go. Kid : Thanks a lot. Hey Christine, I got it! Ross Geller : I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand. Monica Geller : That's ok. I'm sorry I poisoned you. Ross Geller : Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand? Monica Geller : Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle? Ross Geller : Oh. Monica Geller : Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin? Ross Geller : Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb? Monica Geller : No. But I remember people telling me about it. Ross Geller : I hope Ben has a little sister. Monica Geller : Yeah. I hope she can kick his ass. Ross Geller : I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken? Monica Geller : That was you? Ross Geller : They, uh, were infected. He wouldn't have made it. Monica Geller : Aw, my little nephew. Come here, little one. There's my little baby Ben. Hey, my little boy. Hey, he's not crying. Chandler Bing : Hey, he's not crying. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! There's still pie. Ross Geller : I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today. Ross Geller : Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt? Chandler Bing : You, you are gonna love this. Ross Geller : Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here. Chandler Bing : Stay back, I've got kiwi. Run, Joey, Run! Stephanie Schiffer : Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no. I'm sorry. It's "smelly cat, smel-ly cat". Stephanie Schiffer : Smelly cat, smel-ly cat... Phoebe Buffay : Better. Yeah. Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, much better. And you know what, don't feel bad, because it's a hard song. Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : You wanna try it again? Stephanie Schiffer : Yeah. From the top? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, there is no top. That's the beauty of Smelly Cat. Um, why don't you just follow me? Stephanie Schiffer : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : Mmmm hmmm. Together : Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault. Phoebe Buffay : That's too much. Sorry. Chandler Bing : OK, what is it about me? Do I not look fun enough? Is there something. . . repellant. . . about me? Rachel Green : So, how was the party? Chandler Bing : Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive? Phoebe Buffay : No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting. Chandler Bing : Woah, woah, I've put on a little weight? Phoebe Buffay : No, not wieght... y'know, more like insulation. Monica Geller : Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. Ya wanna work out? I can remake you. Chandler Bing : Oh, you know, I would, but that might get in the way of my lying around time. Monica Geller : Please. #ALL# : C'mon. Let her. Yeah. Chandler Bing : Alright, OK, alright. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm goin' home. Phoebe Buffay : Your boobs are fine. Look, I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here. Oh, can't make.... hands... meet.... Chandler Bing : OK, let's do it. What? Monica Geller : Nothing, just never seen you in little stretchy pants before. Chandler Bing : And we're changing. Monica Geller : C'mon give me five more. Five more. Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : Five more and I'll flash you. Chandler Bing : One. . . two. . . two and a half. OK, just show me one of them. Chandler Bing : Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. . She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore. Rachel Green : Hey Phoebs, how'd it go with Scott last night? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, um, it was nice. Took him to a romantic restraunt, ordered champagne, nice. Joey Tribbiani : The guy still won't put out, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Nope. Zilch, nothin', uh-uh. #ALL# : Sorry Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : Look, I, y'know, I don't mind taking it slow, I like him a lot, y'know he's really interesting and he's really sweet and why won't he give it up? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean. Phoebe Buffay : No, whad'ya mean? He's not British. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe he's. . . gay. Phoebe Buffay : Oohh, um, no, I don't think that's the problem. 'Cause we went, um, dancing the other night and the way he held me so close, and the way he was looking into my eyes I just like... definitely felt something. Rachel Green : Yeah, but how much can you tell from a look? Phoebe Buffay : No, I felt it on my hip. You could tell. Monica Geller : Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes. Chandler Bing : Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, oh, Rachel, don't look. Rachel Green : What? C'mon you guys, I don't care, I have a date tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Woah, woah, woah, you have a date? Rachel Green : Yeah, Monica's settin' me up. Joey Tribbiani : But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .? Rachel Green : Oh what, my whole insane jealousy thing? Well, y'know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity. Chandler Bing : So you really OK about all this? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, c'mon, I'm movin' on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing. Ross Geller : Hi guys. #ALL# : Hey. Ross Geller : Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, OK? Monica Geller : Only if you say his full name. Ross Geller : Can I come over tomorrow and pick up Fluffy Meowington's cat toy. Monica Geller : Alright. Joey Tribbiani : You're getting a cat? Ross Geller : Uh, actually, we're getting a cat. Rachel Green : Together? Ross Geller : Uh huh. Rachel Green : Both of you? Ross Geller : Yep. Rachel Green : Together. Julie : Yeah, we figure it'll live with Ross half the time, and with me half the time. Rachel Green : Ohh, well, isn't that just lovely. That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really, really long time. Ross Geller : Hopefully. Rachel Green : Well. Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave. Michael : I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am. Rachel Green : How long do cats live? Michael : I'm sorry? Rachel Green : Cats, how long do they live figuring you don't... y'know, throw 'em under a bus or something? Michael : Um, maybe 15, 16 years. Rachel Green : That's just great. Michael : Um, cheers. Rachel Green : Oh, right, clink. Michael : Monica told you I was cuter that this, didn't she? Rachel Green : Oh, no, Michael, it's not you. I'm sorry, it's just, it's this thing. It's probably not as bad as it sounds but this friend of mine is, is getting a cat with his girlfriend. Michael : Oh, that does sound. . .Ahh. Rachel Green : I mean he just started going out with her. Michael : Is this guy, uhh, an old boyfriend? Rachel Green : Ah, hah-hah-hah-ho, yeah, he wishes. Oh, I'm sorry, look at me. OK, Michael, let's talk about you. Michael : Alright. Rachel Green : OK, OK. So, you ever get a pet with a girlfriend? Phoebe Buffay : So, I figured it out. Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : Why Scott doesn't want to sleep with me. It's 'cause I'm not sexy enough. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, "Excellent butt, great rack." Phoebe Buffay : Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him. Phoebe Buffay : You're right, you're right. Ah, you are so yumm. Rachel Green : I mean, it's a cat, y'know, it's a cat. Why can't they get one of those bugs, y'know, one of those fruitflies, those things that live for like a day or something? What're they called, what're they called, what're they called? Michael : Fruitflies? Rachel Green : Yes! Thank you. Waiter : So, would you like any dessert? Michael : No! No dessert, just a check, please. Rachel Green : Oh, you're not having fun, are you? Michael : No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head. Rachel Green : Oh, look at me, look at me. Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy, all I can think about is Ross and his cat and his... Julie. I just want to get over him. gosh, why can't I do that? Michael : Oy. Look, I've been through a divorce, trust me you're gonna be fine. You just can't see it now because you haven't had any closure. Rachel Green : Yeah! Closure. That's what it is, that's what I need. God, you're brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? How do I get that? Michael : Well, you know, there's no one way really, it's just, you know, whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him, "I'm over you." Rachel Green : Closure, that's what it is. Closure. Hello, excuse me. Excuse me, hel. . . woo Guy : Hang on. Rachel Green : Hello, excuse me. Guy : What. Rachel Green : Hi, I'm sorry, I need to borrow your phone for just one minute. Guy : I'm talkin'! Rachel Green : I can see that. I... just one phone call, I'll be very quick, I'll even pay for it myself. OK, you're bein' a little weird about your phone. Guy : Alright, fine. I'll call you back. Rachel Green : Thank you. OK. Machine. Just waiting for the beep. Michael : Good. Rachel Green : Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. Chandler Bing : No, no, no, no, no, no No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. Monica Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. Monica Geller : OK, if you say stop, then we stop. Chandler Bing : OK, stop. Monica Geller : No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo Woo. Ross Geller : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Ahhhh. Ross Geller : Oh. And how was the date? Rachel Green : Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . Ross Geller : Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? Rachel Green : I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. Ross Geller : OK. Oh, oh, oh. Rachel Green : Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? Ross Geller : No, I stayed at Julie's last night. Rachel Green : Huh. Ross Geller : Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, go ahead. Ross Geller : Rach, I got a message from you. Who's Michael? Rachel Green : Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . Ross Geller : You're over me? Rachel Green : Ohhhhhhhh God. Ross Geller : Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me? Rachel Green : Ohh, ohh. Ross Geller : When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What? Rachel Green : Ohh, OK, OK, OK, well, basically, lately, I've uh, I've uh, sort of had feelings for you. Ross Geller : You've had feelings for me? Rachel Green : Yeah, what, so? You had feelings for me first. Ross Geller : Woah. Huh. You know about my, I mean, you know I had... you know? Rachel Green : Chandler told me. Ross Geller : Chandler. When did he... when did he... when did he? Rachel Green : When you were in China. Ross Geller : China. Rachel Green : Meeting Julie. Ross Geller : Julie. Julie. That. Oh God. Julie, right. OK, I need to lie down. No, ya know, I'm gonna stand. I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna walk, I'm walkin' and I am standing. OK so you uh, and now wha... and now, now, now you're over me? Rachel Green : Are you over me? Ross Geller : That's, that's Julie. Ju... Julie, Julie. Hi Julie. Julie : Hi honey, I've got a cab waiting. Ross Geller : I'll be right down. Rachel Green : Wait, so, you're going? Ross Geller : Well, OK, I uh, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've uh, y'know, I've got a cab, I've got a girlfriend, I'm... I'm gonna go get a cat. Rachel Green : OK, OK. Ross Geller : Cat. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : How come you're watching a rabbi play electric guitar? Joey Tribbiani : I can't find the remote. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : So, Scott asked me to come over for lunch today and I did. Joey Tribbiani : And? Phoebe Buffay : And we did. Joey Tribbiani : All right Phoebs, way to go. Phoebe Buffay : Yay me. Joey Tribbiani : So, so how did it happen? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I finally took your advice and asked him what was going on. Joey Tribbiani : And what did he say? Phoebe Buffay : He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him. Joey Tribbiani : Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea. Phoebe Buffay : Um-hum. Joey Tribbiani : This man is my God. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : I didn't get a cat. Rachel Green : Oh, that's um, interesting. Ross Geller : No, no it's not interesting. OK, it's very, very not interesting. In fact it's actually 100 percent completely opposite of interesting. Rachel Green : Alright, I got it Ross. Ross Geller : You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you. Rachel Green : Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie? Ross Geller : Then you should have said something before I met her. Rachel Green : I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me. Ross Geller : There was never a good time. Rachel Green : Right, you, you only had a year. We only hung out every night. Ross Geller : Not, not, not every night. You know, and... and it's not like I didn't try, Rachel, but things got in the way, y'know? Like, like Italian guys or ex-fiances or, or, or Italian guys. Rachel Green : Hey, there was one Italian guy, OK, and do you even have a point? Ross Geller : The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed. Rachel Green : Yeah, what're you saying, you just sort of put away feelings or whatever the hell it was you felt for me? Ross Geller : Hey, I've been doin' it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it. Rachel Green : Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross. Ross Geller : Fine. Rachel Green : 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship. Ross Geller : Good. Rachel Green : Good. Rachel Green : And ya know what, now I've got closure. Ross Geller : Try the bottom one. Chandler Bing : Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. Monica Geller : No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. Chandler Bing : OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. Monica Geller : Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? Chandler Bing : Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. Monica Geller : Well, thanks. Chandler Bing : I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. Monica Geller : Well, you know. Chandler Bing : You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. Monica Geller : Well no, but um. Chandler Bing : I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. Monica Geller : Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . Chandler Bing : So, you feel like goin' for a run? Monica Geller : Alright. Chandler Bing : Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. Monica Geller : OK. Just for a little while. Chandler Bing : OK. Rachel Green : Ross kissed me. Monica Geller : Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Rachel Green : It was unbelievable! Monica Geller : Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, all right. We want to hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues? Rachel Green : Oh, it ended very well. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : Do not start without me. Do not start without me. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing? Rachel Green : Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so, ok, was he holding you? Or was his hand like on your back? Rachel Green : No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair. Monica Geller : Ohhhh. Ross Geller : And, uh, and then I kissed her. Joey Tribbiani : Tongue? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Chandler Bing : All right, check out this bad boy. 12 megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. What are you gonna use it for? Chandler Bing : Games and stuff. Monica Geller : There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me. Joey Tribbiani : Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked? Monica Geller : There's an ad for a naked chef? Joey Tribbiani : No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... Ross Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, oh, so, um...how'd you make out last night? Ross Geller : That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful Monica Geller : Wait a minute. I thought last night was great. Ross Geller : Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away? Joey Tribbiani : You got all that from saline solution? Monica Geller : We are talking about Rachel here. You and Rachel. Ross Geller : Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... ... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel. Rachel Green : Hey, you. Ross Geller : How are you? Rachel Green : Good. How are you? Ross Geller : Good. Julie : Hi, honey. Ross Geller : Hi, Julie. Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you? Julie : Good. Ross Geller : Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, actually. Ross Geller : Play it. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, all right. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses. Julie : What? Ross Geller : Ssshh. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night". Phoebe Buffay : There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide! Mr. Ratstatter : This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo. Monica Geller : So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear. Mr. Ratstatter : Mockolate. Monica Geller : I'm sorry? Mr. Ratstatter : Mockolate. It's a completely synthetic chocolate substitute. Monica Geller : Ohh. Mr. Ratstatter : Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate. Monica Geller : All right. Mmm-mmm. Mr. Ratstatter : Yeah? Monica Geller : I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that. Mr. Ratstatter : No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you. Monica Geller : Mmm-mmm. Mr. Ratstatter : But, we're thinking, given the right marketing, we can make Thanksgiving the Mockolate holiday. Monica Geller : Wow. Mr. Ratstatter : Aren't you going to swallow that? Monica Geller : Just waiting for it to stop bubbling. Mr. Ratstatter : Yeah, isn't that great? Monica Geller : Mmm. Mr. Ratstatter : Well, anyhoo, um, we are looking for a couple of chefs who can create some Thanksgiving-themed recipes. You think you might be interested? Monica Geller : Abso... ...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate. Mr. Ratstatter : Really? Monica Geller : Especially the after taste, you know, I'll tell ya, that'll last ya till Christmas. Monica Geller : How about Mockolate mousse? Phoebe Buffay : It's not, it's not very Thanksgiving-y. Monica Geller : Ok, how about pilgrim Mockolate mousse? Phoebe Buffay : What makes it pilgrim? Monica Geller : We'll put buckles on it. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Did uh, Ross call? Monica Geller : No, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together." Phoebe Buffay : No offense, but that sounds nothing like her. Ross Geller : I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare. Chandler Bing : Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, here's a thought, Ross. Chandler Bing : Don't touch the computer. Don't ever touch the computer. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome. Chandler Bing : Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column. Ross Geller : Can't we just use a pen? Chandler Bing : No, Amish boy. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first. Ross Geller : I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes. Joey Tribbiani : You could say that. Ross Geller : And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress. Chandler Bing : Waitress. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else? Ross Geller : I don't know. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, her ankles are a little chubby. Chandler Bing : Ok, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her? Ross Geller : She's not Rachel. Monica Geller : Ok, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served. Rachel Green : Oh my god. Monica Geller : Oh my god good? Rachel Green : Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like! Chandler Bing : I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart? Ross Geller : Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing. Chandler Bing : So, Spock actually hugs his father? Rachel Green : Hey, do you guys have... ...hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Where you goin'? Ross Geller : I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing. Rachel Green : Well, what's the other thing, what do I think? Ross Geller : Well, uh. Joey Tribbiani : He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Really. It's always been you, Rach. Rachel Green : Oh, god. Chandler Bing : Ohhh. Rachel Green : Oh, oh, this is good, this is really good. Ross Geller : I know, I know, it's, it's almost... What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them? Rachel Green : Let me get my coat. Ross Geller : Ok. No, hey, whoa, whoa, I'll get your coat. Rachel Green : Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. What's that? Chandler Bing : What? Nothing. Rachel Green : What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it? Chandler Bing : No, no, see? See? Hey, it's printing. Hey, it's printing! Rachel Green : Well what is it? Let me see. Ross Geller : Hey, someone order a coat? Rachel Green : Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see. Ross Geller : He won't? He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing. Rachel Green : And I'm in it? Then let me read it. Chandler Bing : No! Rachel Green : Come on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her? Chandler Bing : Alright. "It was summer, and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look,' cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The end." Ross Geller : That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world. Rachel Green : All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it. Ross Geller : No, you don't. Rachel Green : All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. Rachel Green : What is this? Ross, what is this? Chandler Bing : Good luck. Ross Geller : Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok? Rachel Green : Kind of ditzy? Too into her looks? Spoiled? Ross Geller : Now that's a little spoiled. He was supposed to type "little", the idiot. Rachel Green : Just a waitress? Ross Geller : No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach? Rachel Green : Oh! I do not have chubby ankles! Ross Geller : No, no, wait, ok, ok, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column. Rachel Green : She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress. Ross Geller : No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel? Chandler Bing : My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary. Monica Geller : You know, that's true. You'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency. Phoebe Buffay : I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Oh good, I was hoping that would come up. Monica Geller : This was your idea? Phoebe Buffay : What were you thinking? Chandler Bing : All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason. Monica Geller : Yeah. You! Chandler Bing : All right, Pheebs, back me up here, ok? You believe in that karma crap, don't you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle. Ross Geller : Rach! Whoops! Rach, hey, open up, please! Rachel Green : When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape. Ross Geller : I just wanna read something. It's your pro list. Rachel Green : Not interested. Ross Geller : Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben. Ross Geller : Number six: the way you smell. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Ross! What are you doin'? Ross Geller : Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, I do. Chandler Bing : What are you doing out there? Ross Geller : I am, uh, I am... Monica Geller : Oh, you must be freezing. You know what you need? How about a nice steaming cup of hot Mockolate? Ross Geller : Rach, come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on, Rach. You got to give me another chance. Rachel Green : No. Ross Geller : No? Rachel Green : That's what I said. Chandler Bing : Look, maybe we should go? Rachel Green : No, you guys, you really don't have to go, we're done talking. Ross Geller : Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel. Rachel Green : No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you. Ross Geller : No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things. Rachel Green : Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. I said don't go! Ross Geller : You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you. Rachel Green : Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list. Joey Tribbiani : I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? Maybe a little longer. Monica Geller : Now, in some of these recipes, the quantities may seem just a little unusual, uh, like these coconut mockolate holiday nut bars. I've indicated four cups of coconut, and four cups of crushed nut, and only, uh, one tablespoon of mockolate. Mr. Ratstatter : Doesn't matter. Monica Geller : What? Mr. Ratstatter : Our FDA approval didn't come through. Something about laboratory rats. Monica Geller : Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. Mr. Ratstatter : Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you? Monica Geller : Well, uh, I ate some. Mr. Ratstatter : Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it? Monica Geller : Hello? Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighin' me down. Monica Geller : Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time. Ross Geller : Look, can, can you do something for me? Monica Geller : Sure, what? Ok, ok. Music? Radio : The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. Radio : Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out. Mr. Ratstatter : Hi, thanks for coming in again. Monica Geller : Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash. Mr. Ratstatter : It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you? Monica Geller : Cat hair. Mr. Ratstatter : Oh, sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year? Chandler Bing : Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad. Monica Geller : Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies. Chandler Bing : And twenty-five it is. Joey Tribbiani : You gave him cookies? Monica Geller : Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares. . . Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that. Phoebe Buffay : I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick. Chandler Bing : Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies? Phoebe Buffay : Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them. Ross Geller : So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies? Rachel Green : Uhh, the mailman, the super. Monica Geller : Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this. Rachel Green : Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section. Monica Geller : Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle. Ross Geller : Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bitemebitemebitemebiteme. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'. Chandler Bing : Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. . . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . . Rachel Green : Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me? Ross Geller : How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place? Gunther : Yeah. Ross Geller : Here, go nuts. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey. Chandler Bing : What's in the bag? Ross Geller : Um, just some presents. Joey Tribbiani : C'mon show us what you bought. . . You know you want to. Ross Geller : OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh. Monica Geller : Cute. Ross Geller : I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom. Monica Geller : Ross, that is gorgeous! Ross Geller : Yeah? Monica Geller : Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Gang : Hey. Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Happy Christmas Eve Eve. Oh my God, where did you get this? Ross Geller : Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings. Phoebe Buffay : This is my father, this is a picture of my dad. Chandler Bing : Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame. Phoebe Buffay : No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you. Rachel Green : Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison. Phoebe Buffay : No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born. Rachel Green : How have you never been on Oprah? Phoebe Buffay : OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy. Monica Geller : Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie. Phoebe Buffay : It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. Monica Geller : Oh, wait a minute honey. Gang : Phoebs. Monica Geller : Wow. Joey Tribbiani : So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. . . Gang : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears! Grandmother : Esther Livingston. Gone. Grandmother : Hi, Phoe. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Gram. Whatcha doin'? Grandmother : Oh, just updating the phonebook. Phoebe Buffay : Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again? Grandmother : Oh. Oh, sure, sure, uh, uh, how come? Phoebe Buffay : Just, you know, to see... um. Grandmother : Oh, sure, yeah. This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation. . . another graduation. . . another graduation. Phoebe Buffay : OK, is this really my father? Grandmother : Is it really your fa--I can't... well of course it is. Phoebe Buffay : OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire. Grandmother : Look, I. . . Phoebe Buffay : Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me. Grandmother : Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God. Grandmother : It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones? Grandmother : Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate. Phoebe Buffay : OK, that makes no sense. Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist? Grandmother : Honey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Grandmother : Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. This is the real him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Chandler Bing : Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up. Rachel Green : Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas. Chandler Bing : Who said anything about Christmas? Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet? Rachel Green : No, nothin'. Monica Geller : I hope she's OK. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through. Monica Geller : How do you know exactly what she's going through? Joey Tribbiani : She told us. Chandler Bing : So whaddya got there Monica? Monica Geller : Just some stuff for the party. Ross Geller : Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping? Monica Geller : You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're ya gonna do? Chandler Bing : Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that? Rachel Green : Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. Monica Geller : Well, maybe the mailman liked the cookies, we just didn't give him enough. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, pigeons learn faster that you. Ross Geller : Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. Rachel Green : Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . Ross Geller : C'mon Rachel. Rachel Green : OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. Ross Geller : See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. Rachel Green : Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. Grandmother : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. Grandmother : C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. Grandmother : Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. Phoebe Buffay : No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. Grandmother : I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. Phoebe Buffay : Whattaya mean? Grandmother : He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. Thank you. Grandmother : Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! Commercial Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe here with the cab yet? Chandler Bing : Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab. . . hop in. Joey Tribbiani : Well she better get here soon, the outlet stores close at 7. Chandler Bing : Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, here she comes. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk. Chandler Bing : Eeeshk. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, big stuff. Phoebe Buffay : OK, let's go. Chandler Bing : OK. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, here, you have to hold this. Chandler Bing : OK. Brake left, gas right? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah, that's my cheat sheet. Chandler Bing : Where's my seat belt? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : C'mon, just tell me, please, please. Monica Geller : For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive. Rachel Green : Oh, gosh, it's hot in here. Monica Geller : Rach, get the heat. Ross, could you turn the heat down please? Ross Geller : Sure. By the way, there's a difference between being obsessive and. . . Monica Geller : Ross, the heat! Ross Geller : Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. OK, this way is on, so this is. . . off. Rachel Green : Did you just break the radiator? Ross Geller : No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is. Monica Geller : Well put it back. Ross Geller : It uhh, it won't go back. Rachel Green : I'll call the super. Monica Geller : Here, let me try. Ross Geller : Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal. Monica Geller : Hey, it's Funny's cousin, Not Funny. Rachel Green : Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight. Ross Geller : OK, tip the man. Monica Geller : No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party. Ross Geller : Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, this is it, 74. Chandler Bing : Oh, so that's what this is for. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Sure is. Phoebe Buffay : OK, here I go. I'm goin' in. Chandler Bing : Alright. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. Rachel Green : Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom. Ross Geller : It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much? Monica Geller : Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright. Ross Geller : Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK. Monica Geller : Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. Rachel Green : Mr. Treeger. Mr. Treeger : Uhh, you said there was a party. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, well hey, welcome to our sauna. Mr. Treeger : Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese! Ross Geller : Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. Monica Geller : No, I will not cave. Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm with Mon. Ross Geller : Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. Mr. Treeger : Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back. Ross Geller : No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now? Mr. Treeger : No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday. Monica Geller : Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Looks like he's playin' baseball. Ross Geller : You mean hardball? Monica Geller : Whatever. Rachel Green : What'cha gonna' do? Ross Geller : Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting? Mr. Treeger : No, the place is not open 'till Tuesday. Am I not saying it right. Monica Geller : So, wait, you really did like my cookies? Mr. Treeger : Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared. Rachel Green : Nice seizing. . . gel boy. Mr. Treeger : So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe? Rachel Green : Huh-huh, no act--no, uhh, that, that is basil. Mr. Treeger : Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya. Rachel Green : Huh-hoo, yeah, no, it's still basil. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Joey Tribbiani : How far'd ya get? Phoebe Buffay : Mailbox. Chandler Bing : Alright, we're gettin' closer. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs, what's goin' on? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . . Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe he's, maybe he's this really cool pharmacist guy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter. Chandler Bing : Well, so why not go knock? Phoebe Buffay : Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs, that's OK. You took a big step today. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you. Phoebe Buffay : You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's OK, we'll figure something out. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas. Chandler Bing : Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here! Joey Tribbiani : Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down? Monica Geller : Hey, we could have used that kind of thinkin' earlier. Ross Geller : Hey, Phoebs, how'd it go. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I couldn't go in. Monica Geller : Honey, I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Are you OK? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now. Chandler Bing : Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright. Joey Tribbiani : Rach, these are for you. Rachel Green : Wiper blades. I don't even have a car. Joey Tribbiani : No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do. Chandler Bing : OK, Phoebs, your turn. Phoebe Buffay : Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas? Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : You guuuyys. Joey Tribbiani : And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth. Ross Geller : You got me a cola drink? Chandler Bing : And, a lemon lime. Ross Geller : Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater. Chandler Bing : And last but not least. Joey Tribbiani : They're ribbed for your pleasure. Joey Tribbiani : When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff. Ross Geller : Hiiiiii. Phoebe Buffay : Are... are you OK? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he? Monica Geller : Maybe. Ross Geller : Don't toy with me. Bobby Rush : Geller! Ross Geller : Hey, Fun Bobby! Bobby Rush : Hey. Whoa, hey, you've been working out, huh? Ross Geller : Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister! Monica Geller : You and me both. Bobby Rush : Hey, so what'd I miss, what'd I miss, c'mon? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, we were just trying to make Joey feel better. Bobby Rush : Hey, do you need me to pick you up? Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm alright man. Really. Bobby Rush : No, I'm picking you up. Joey Tribbiani : Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... Alright! It still works. Bobby Rush : OK, now before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up? I'm still gonna go. Monica Geller : OK, I'll see you later babe. Bobby Rush : Uh, public display of affection coming up. You can avert your eyes. Bobby Rush : See ya. #ALL# : Bye! See you later! Phoebe Buffay : Fun Bobby is so great. Monica Geller : Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full. Phoebe Buffay : Half full of looooovvvvve. Monica Geller : And for our two-week anniversary, he's gonna take me to his cousin's cabin for the weekend. Phoebe Buffay : Cabin of loooooovvvvve. Rachel Green : We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys. Monica Geller : Really? I only had two glasses. Joey Tribbiani : I just had a glass. Phoebe Buffay : Two. Rachel Green : I had one glass. Chandler Bing : I had about a mugful in this lovely 'I got boned at the Museum of Natural History' mug. Rachel Green : OK, so that's... that's what, two bottles? And yet somehow we went through five? Ross Geller : Oooooh. Joey Tribbiani : Ooooooh. Monica Geller : So what. So he drank a lot tonight. Ross Geller : Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, OOOH, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um, OK, 'I was soooo wasted,' or, 'Oh, we were soooo bombed,' or, ummm, ooh, ooh, 'So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut.' Joey Tribbiani : Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking? Monica Geller : Well, we just happen to go to alot of places where you might drink. I mean, how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or... or to a club, or to the... zoo. Monica Geller : Rach, does this have nonfat milk? Rachel Green : Ehhhummmm, I don't know, why don't you taste it. Monica Geller : Mmmm, no. Rachel Green : Oh well, too late, sorry, you already had some. Bobby Rush : Whattaya say we make these, uh, coffees Irish? Phoebe Buffay : Um, cake. Rachel Green : Yeah, we're gonna... we're gonna get some cake. Monica Geller : You know what? It seems like you've been making an awful lot of stuff Irish lately. Bobby Rush : Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask. Monica Geller : Bobby. Bobby Rush : Yeah, OK. Monica Geller : Look, maybe this is none of my business, or maybe it is, I don't know... but, uh, I'm kind of worried about you. Bobby Rush : OK, look, this isn't the first time somebody's said something to me about this, but, I don't know... I always made excuses about it, like... uhhh... 'I'm just a social drinker,' or, 'C'mon, it's Flag Day.' Monica Geller : So, what are you saying now? Bobby Rush : I guess I'm saying, I'll try and quit. I kinda like that you worry about me. Phoebe Buffay : Sooo, what's goin' on, huh? Bobby Rush : I am gonna try and quit drinking. Phoebe Buffay : Ooohh, why? Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : Guess who's back in show business. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, ohh, Lorne Green? Chandler Bing : No, no, Phoebs. You know why? Cause he's dead. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no. Chandler Bing : OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme. Chandler Bing : Hey, yeah... we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach, what time do you get off? We're all gonna do something tonight. Rachel Green : Ummmm.... well, actually I'm already done, but I...I kinda got plans. Monica Geller : You have other friends? Rachel Green : Yeah... I, uhh... I have a... I have a date. Monica Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : With a man? Rachel Green : What? What is so strange about me having a date? Joey Tribbiani : What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you? Rachel Green : Noooo, no, I'm not mad at him. I'm.. I'm not really anything at him anymore. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Rachel Green : I don't know. Whatever I was feeling, I'm... not. Phoebe Buffay : But you guys came so close. Rachel Green : Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross. Rachel Green : Here he is. Hi. Guys, this is Russ. Russ : Hhhhiiiii. Estelle Leonard : Stop saying you're not talented, you're very talented. It's just with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left. Oh, honey, give me a break, will ya? Oooh, ooh, I'll talk to you later. Estelle Leonard : Well, there's my favorite client. So tell me darling, how was the audition? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday. Estelle Leonard : Joey, have you ever seen me ecstatic? Joey Tribbiani : No. Estelle Leonard : Well, here it is. Joey Tribbiani : OK, uh.... listen, there's something I want to talk to you about. The network casting lady... Estelle Leonard : Oh, isn't Lori a doll? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in. Estelle Leonard : Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. Yeah, hi, Lori please. Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? Uh-huuuuh. Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her. Rachel Green : What's the matter? Monica Geller : It's Fun Bobby. Rachel Green : What, isn't he sober? Monica Geller : Oh, he's sober alright. Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason. Rachel Green : Ohhh, OK. Monica Geller : Alright, here you go, sweetie. Bobby Rush : Thanks. You wanna hear something funny? Monica Geller : Oh God, yes! Bobby Rush : There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village. Phoebe Buffay : That is funny. Bobby Rush : I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village. Monica Geller : Ahhh, hey honey? Don't you have to be at your interview now? Bobby Rush : Oh yeah. See you guys. Chandler Bing : Bye..... ridiculously dull Bobby. Monica Geller : Oh.... my... God. Phoebe Buffay : It's not that bad. Monica Geller : Not that bad? Did you hear the hammer story? Phoebe Buffay : OK, OK, don't get all squinky. Rachel Green : Maybe it was just the kind of story where you have to be there. Monica Geller : But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, don't say that. He's probably always been dull. You just, you know, set it free. Russ : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey Ross.... bahhhh! Rachel Green : Hi Russ, I've just got two more tables to clean and then we'll go, OK? Russ : OK, I'll just sit here and... uh... chat with your, uh.... friend-type....people. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Um, hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : OK, so, you know what you're doing, right? Rachel Green : Uhh.... waitressing? Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah, but... no. I mean, umm... doesn't.... doesn't Russ just remind you of someone? Rachel Green : Huh, Bob Saget? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! No, no, no, no, oh, oh. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my, oh! Ross Geller : What? What's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : I, OK.... Monica Geller : She's just upset because she, uh, she buttered a spider into her toast this morning. Ross Geller : Alright. Chandler Bing : Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross. Russ : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Russ : Are you a, uh, friend of Rachel's? Ross Geller : Yes, yes I am. Are you a, uh, a friend of Rachel's? Russ : Actually, I'm a... kind of a.... you know, a... date-type... thing... of Rachel's. Ross Geller : A date. Russ : Yeah, I'm her date. Ross Geller : Oh, oh, you're... uh... you're, oh you're the date. Chandler Bing : You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare. Russ : Oh, you are the, uh... paleontologist. Ross Geller : Yes, yes I am. And you are a.... Russ : Periodontist. Monica Geller : See? They're as different as night and... later that night. Ross Geller : Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you. Russ : Ditto. Ross Geller : I, uh, well... I... I met Russ. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people. Rachel Green : Well, we're not seeing each other, so.... Ross Geller : Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal... Rachel Green : Well, yeah, this is the deal. Ross Geller : OK, well, um, have a nice evening. Rachel Green : Um, Russ, you ready? Russ : Yeah. Rachel Green : Bye. Monica Geller : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Bye. Ross Geller : She's dating. She's dating. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes, but did you see who she was dating? Ross Geller : What do you mean? Monica Geller : Do you not see it? Ross Geller : See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it? Ross Geller : ....................Yeah. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Whoa, whoa, so I'm guessing you didn't get the part, or... uh, Italy called and said it was hungry. Joey Tribbiani : Well, the part's mine if I want it. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady. Chandler Bing : Oh my... God? Joey Tribbiani : Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television. Chandler Bing : So, what're you gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that? Chandler Bing : Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know. Joey Tribbiani : I've never slept with someone for a part. Chandler Bing : Well is she... Joey Tribbiani : Sorry. Chandler Bing : It's alright. Is she good-looking? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. You know, after having slept with her. Chandler Bing : Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas. Joey Tribbiani : I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General. Chandler Bing : Didn't you used to call it the Little Major? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it. Waiter : Can I get you something from the bar? Monica Geller : Yes, I would like something. No, no thank you. Bobby Rush : If... if you want to drink, it's OK with me, I've got to get used to it. Monica Geller : No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. Just some water. Bobby Rush : So the light went out in my refrigerator... Monica Geller : I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist. Chandler Bing : Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium. Russ : Dysprosium. Ross Geller : Dysprosium? Try mendelevium. Chandler Bing : And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues. Phoebe Buffay : You don't see it? You actually don't see it? Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : OK honey, you're dating Ross. Rachel Green : No, Phoebs. I'm dating Russ. Phoebe Buffay : Russ is Ross. Russ... Ross! Rachel Green : Steve... sleeve! Phoebe Buffay : OK, noone is named Sleeve. Rachel Green : Phoebe, what the hell are you talking about? Other than their names being similar, I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing. Ross Geller : For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark. Russ : You could not be more wrong. You could try... but you would not be successful. Chandler Bing : OK, I'm gonna get some more coffee before the pinching and eye-poking begins. Russ : I know what your problem is. Ross Geller : Oh you do, do you? Russ : Um-hum, you're jealous. Ross Geller : Of... of what? Russ : You're jealous because I'm a real doctor. Ross Geller : Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma. Russ : Hey, you listen. Ross Geller : No, no, let me finish. Russ : No, let me finish. Ross Geller : No, you let me fini... Ross Geller : Hi. Russ : Hi. Rachel Green : Ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww! Rachel Green : Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left? Chandler Bing : No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job? Rachel Green : I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with? Chandler Bing : Me. Rachel Green : Why would I have to sleep with you? Chandler Bing : It's my game. You want the job or not? Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Morning. Ross Geller : Where ya goin'? Monica Geller : Bobby and I are going away for the weekend, remember? Ross Geller : Ooooohhhh. Phoebe Buffay : What's with all the bottles of liquor? Ross Geller : What's going on, is... uh, Bobby drinking again? Monica Geller : Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing. Rachel Green : Oh God, even his knock is boring. Monica Geller : Hi. I'll be ready in just a second. Bobby Rush : Uh, can I talk to you a minute? Monica Geller : Sure. Bobby Rush : This is really hard for me to say. Monica Geller : Oh God, you fell off the wagon. Bobby Rush : Oh, no, no, it's about you. Monica Geller : What about me? Bobby Rush : I think you may have a drinking problem. Monica Geller : What these? Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes. Bobby Rush : Look, I am just not strong enough to be in a codependent relationship right now, OK? Monica Geller : Oh... shoot. Bobby Rush : Well, anyway, I hope we can be friends. Monica Geller : OK. Monica Geller : Take care. Bobby Rush : You too. Rachel Green : What happened? Monica Geller : Well we... we kinda broke up. Gang : Awwwwwwww. Monica Geller : Does anybody want these? Chandler Bing : I'll take one. Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Gang : Hey! Ross Geller : How'd the callback go? Joey Tribbiani : It was unbelievable! I walked in there and she was all over me. Chandler Bing : So what'd you do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way. Ross Geller : Good for you. Joey Tribbiani : But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part. Phoebe Buffay : So... and? Joey Tribbiani : Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes! Gang : Allright! Joey Tribbiani : Alright... I've got to go shower. Russ : Hi. Chandler Bing : Oh, hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Russ : I guess you guys heard, Rachel dumped me. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm sorry man. Russ : Oh, all she said was that I remind her too much of somebody. You have any idea who she's talking about? Phoebe Buffay : Oh I do, it's.... it's Bob Saget. She hates him. Russ : Oh. Julie : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Julie! Hey, how are you doing? Julie : Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um.... Ross Geller : Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi! Carol Willick : So how did everything go? Ross Geller : Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it. Carol Willick : Well, we've gotta go. Ross Geller : Ok. Susan Bunch :  Carol Willick : Oh, right. Um, I've got some news. It's about us. Ross Geller : Oh, you and me? Carol Willick : Uh, no, Susan and me. Susan Bunch : The other us. Ross Geller : Ok. Carol Willick : We're uh, we're getting married. Ross Geller : As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married? Carol Willick : Anyway, we'd like you to come, but we totally understand if you don't want to. Ross Geller : Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding. Carol Willick : Look I just thought that... Ross Geller : No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? I'm revelling baby, believe me! Susan Bunch : Is your finger caught in that chair? Ross Geller : Mmm hmmm. Carol Willick : Want us to go? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : This is so cool. You're actually gonna be on television. Joey Tribbiani : It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives.. Monica Geller : Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast. Chandler Bing : Yes! Monica Geller : They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it? Ross Geller : Would it matter? Monica Geller : Oh, you are so great! Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : Are you really not going? Ross Geller : I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married? Monica Geller : They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them. Ross Geller : If you wanna call that a reason. Chandler Bing : Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor. Monica Geller : Ross, I thought you were over this. Ross Geller : Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever. Rachel Green : Did I miss it? Did I miss it? Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself. Chandler Bing : Whoa, she's pretty. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, what? Monica Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. Chandler Bing : Oh, ok. Joey Tribbiani : There's my scene, there's my scene. "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. Mrs. Wallace : Is she gonna be all right? Joey Tribbiani : I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..subcranial hematoma. Perhaps we can discuss this over coffee. Chandler Bing : Nice! Rachel Green : That's great! Ross Geller : Excellent! Chandler Bing : For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something. Ross Geller : That is so good! Do it again! Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right. "Damnit Braverman, it's right there on the chart!" Chandler Bing : That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect. Ross Geller : No no, that's me. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, hello. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thanks. I couldn't uh... Ross Geller : Is everything ok? Phoebe Buffay : Um, no, huh-uh. One of my clients died on the massage table today. Ross Geller : Oh my god. Chandler Bing : That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, um, she was 82 years old. Her name was um, Mrs. Adelman. Monica Geller : Oh, honey. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far. Rachel Green : What do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : I think it went into me. Monica Geller : God, this is so hard. I can't decide between lamb or duck. Chandler Bing : Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks. Rachel Green : Ok, who ordered what? Ross Geller : Oh, I believe I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim. Chandler Bing : Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf? Rachel Green : Oh god. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you're so uptight about your mom comin'. Rachel Green : I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know? Phoebe Buffay : Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs, how long do you think this lady'll be with us? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. Sit up! Sandra Green : There she is. Rachel Green : Mom! Sandra Green : Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun. Rachel Green : Pretty much. Sandra Green : Monica! You look gorgeous! Last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten. Rachel Green : This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross. Sandra Green : Oh hello, Ross. Ross Geller : Hi, Mrs. Green. Sandra Green : So, what do you think of my daughter in the apron with the big job? Rachel Green : Oh Mom! Sandra Green : If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink. Chandler Bing : Believe me, sometimes that happens. Sandra Green : This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you. Rachel Green : Really? Sandra Green : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, who's Evelyn Dermer? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Who's Soupy Sales? Sandra Green : Oh my god, there's an unattractive nude man playing the cello. Rachel Green : Yeah, well just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument. Sandra Green : You have some life here, sweetie. Rachel Green : I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know? Sandra Green : I do. You didn't love Barry. And I've never seen you this happy. I look at you and I think, oh, this is what I want. Rachel Green : For...me. Sandra Green : Well, not just for you. Rachel Green : Well, what do you mean? Sandra Green : I'm uh, considering leaving your father. Monica Geller : All right. Tell me if this is too cute. Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts. Rachel Green : Oh god. I think I'm gonna be sick. Monica Geller : Why? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them. Ross Geller : And you had no idea they weren't getting along? Rachel Green : None. Joey Tribbiani : They didn't fight a lot? Rachel Green : No! They didn't even talk to each other. God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems? Phoebe Buffay : In my day, divorce was not an option. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, look who's up. Rachel Green : I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this. Monica Geller : Is there any chance that you can look at this as flattering? I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you. Rachel Green : Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut? Chandler Bing : You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true. Phoebe Buffay : That's him. Chandler Bing : Damn. My mail order grandfather hasn't come yet. Mr. Adelman : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, hi, Mr. Adelman. Thanks for meeting me. Mr. Adelman : Oh, that's all right, although you did cut into my busy day of sitting. Phoebe Buffay : Um, do you wanna sit? Mr. Adelman : Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me. Mr. Adelman : You're saying, my wife is in you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around? Mr. Adelman : Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything. Phoebe Buffay : Everything? Mr. Adelman : Everything. Phoebe Buffay : Whoa, that's a lot of stuff. Mr. Adelman : Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head. Mr. Adelman : Worth a shot, huh? Sandra Green : Look at this. Rachel Green : These are from Halloween three years ago. Sandra Green : Oh, look, here's Barry. Did he have to come straight from the office? Rachel Green : No, that was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist. Monica Geller : Um, you guys, you know when I said before, "thank you, but I don't really need your help"? Rachel Green : Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen." Monica Geller : Really? Weird. Anyway, see, I planned everything really well. I planned and I planned and I planned. It just turns out, I don't think I planned enough time to actually do it. Rachel Green : Hey, Mon, you want some help? Monica Geller : If you want. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty. Rachel Green : She's still with you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. Oh, such a pretty face. Sandra Green : This is so much fun, just the girls. You know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana? Rachel Green : God! Monica Geller : All right, look, nobody's smoking pot around all this food. Sandra Green : That's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex? Rachel Green : Oh! What's new in sex? Sandra Green : The only man I've ever been with is your father. Monica Geller : I'm dicing, I'm dicing, I don't hear anything. Sandra Green : I mean, this is no offense to your dad, sweetie, but I was thinking there might be more. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing? Sandra Green : No. Rachel Green : You want me to talk you out of it? Sandra Green : No. Rachel Green : Then what? What do you want? Sandra Green : I guess I just figured of all people you would understand this. Rachel Green : Why on earth would I understand this? Sandra Green : You didn't marry your Barry. I did. Rachel Green : Oh. Monica Geller : All right people, we're in trouble here. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. Move, move, move! Chandler Bing : Monica, I feel like you should have German subtitles. Monica Geller : Joey, speed it up! Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets! Phoebe Buffay : Monica, how did this happen? I thought you had this all planned out. Monica Geller : Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want? Do you wanna see me cry? Phoebe Buffay : Sir! No sir! Monica Geller : All right, you! Ross Geller : No. Look, I told you I am not a part of this thing. Monica Geller : All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon. Chandler Bing : Hey! How come I'm stuck dicing, when he gets to ball the melon. Monica Geller : Hi. Carol Willick : How's it going? Monica Geller : It's goin' great. Right on schedule. Got my little happy helpers. Carol Willick : Fine, whatever. Ross Geller : What's the matter? Carol Willick : Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : You're still gonna pay me, right? Or something a little less selfish. Ross Geller : Carol, what's the matter? What happened? Carol Willick : My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming. Ross Geller : Oh my god. Carol Willick : I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything. Ross Geller : It's ok. I'm sorry. Carol Willick : And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do. Ross Geller : I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right. Carol Willick : You do? Ross Geller : Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this. Carol Willick : Of course I do. Ross Geller : Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it. Carol Willick : You're right. Of course you're right. Monica Geller : So we're back on? Carol Willick : We're back on. Monica Geller : You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes. Joey Tribbiani : It just seems so futile, you know ? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly. Chandler Bing : Well now you understand how I feel every single day, ok? The world is my lesbian wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Butterscotch? No one? All right, you'll be sorry later. Carol Willick : Thank you. Ross Geller : Any time. Carol Willick : Ross. Minister : You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go. Monica Geller : Would you look at them? Ross Geller : Yeah, can't help but. Joey Tribbiani : How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? I wrapped those bad boys. Phoebe Buffay : I miss Rose. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah? Phoebe Buffay : I know it's kind of weird, but I mean, she was a big part of my life there, you know, and now I just feel kind of alone. Woman : You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, that's so nice. Chandler Bing : I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? Rachel Green : Hey, Mom? Having fun? Sandra Green : Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options. Rachel Green : There's more alcohol, right? Susan Bunch : How you doin'? Ross Geller : Ok. Susan Bunch : You did a good thing today. Ross Geller : Yeah. Susan Bunch : You wanna dance? Ross Geller : No, that's fine. Susan Bunch : Come on. I'll let you lead. Ross Geller : Ok. Chandler Bing : All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. Monica Geller : Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married? Ross Geller : Well, Mon, I was married. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, me, too, technically. Rachel Green : I had a wedding. Monica Geller : All right, just trying to start an interesting discussion. Joey Tribbiani : I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? Chandler Bing : Isn't Ben in this? #ALL# : Oh, yeah! Ross Geller : That commercial always makes me so sad. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK. Ross Geller : I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel. Phoebe Buffay : I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. Monica Geller : And the fact that they're both monkeys. Ross Geller : Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, ya know, giving him away. Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding. Ross Geller : Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got. Chandler Bing : Rhythm? Joey Tribbiani : No, my first fan mail. #ALL# : Alright! Monica Geller : 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.' Rachel Green : Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married. Monica Geller : This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god, I got my very own stalker. Ross Geller : Hey guys. #ALL# : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake? Ross Geller : Well, there's this, uh, paleontology conference in L.A. so I figured I'd go and then drive down to the zoo and surprise Marcel. Chandler Bing : You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know. Hello. Rob : Hi. I'm Rob Dohnen. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Rob Dohnen. Rob : I don't know anything about music, but I think you're really, really great. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wow. Rob : Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner? Chandler Bing : Well we could just stay in and cook for ourselves. Chandler Bing : Hello. Erica Ford : It's Erica. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, the stalker. Erica Ford : Never mind, it's open. Chandler Bing : Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon. Joey Tribbiani : Let's get out of here. Chandler Bing : The one time they're not home. Joey Tribbiani : OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. Chandler Bing : That's how radio stars escape stalkers. Joey Tribbiani : She's comin'. Erica Ford : It's me. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready? Chandler Bing : Wait, wait, wait. Erica Ford : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Erica. Dean Lipson : Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question. Ross Geller : Well, I uh, I can't seem to find the monkey I donated last year. He's a capuchan, answers to the name Marcel. Dean Lipson : Ahh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on. Ross Geller : Oh my God, what happened? Dean Lipson : Well he got sick, and then he got sicker, and then he got a little better but then he died. Ross Geller : I can't believe this. Dean Lipson : I'm sorry Mr. Geller. But ya know, there's an old saying, 'Sometimes monkeys die.' It's not a great saying but it certainly is fitting today. Ross Geller : Well, ya know, someone should have called me. Dean Lipson : I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't bring him back but here, it's just a gesture. Ross Geller : Zoo dollars? Dean Lipson : Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died. Kids : Ooohhh. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Monica Geller : I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like. Chandler Bing : Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Well, she looks the exact opposite of that. Rachel Green : And she's not crazy? Chandler Bing : Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this. Chandler Bing : Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac. Rob : You OK? Phoebe Buffay : No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear. Rob : That's not a good idea, that's kinda the reason the last guy got fired. Phoebe Buffay : I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me? Ross Geller : I was thinkin' about it. Phoebe Buffay : OK. OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe #ALL# : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la... Erica Ford : Oh, Drake, isn't it amazing? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah it is. . . what? Erica Ford : Well, here we sit, devil may care, just a little while ago you were reattaching someone's spinal cord. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites. Erica Ford : Who's they? Joey Tribbiani : No one. Erica Ford : Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't. Joey Tribbiani : Good, otherwise my watch would fall off. Erica Ford : No, seriously. These hands. These miracle, magical, life-giving hands. Oh, just to be near them, touch them, maybe even lick one? Joey Tribbiani : Alright, just one. Wow, you're good at that. Waiter : Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor? Erica Ford : Well, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Remore. Janitor : Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes. Ross Geller : Uhh, hey look, I don't really enjoy being with other men that way. But, um, zoo dollars? Janitor : It's about your monkey. It's alive. Erica Ford : I don't understand, why didn't you help that man? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something. Erica Ford : No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore? Joey Tribbiani : But that's what... Erica Ford : I should just be happy to be near you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey I- Erica Ford : Hey what? Joey Tribbiani : That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! Hey. He-hey. Phoebe Buffay : There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do. Monica Geller : Excellent! Chandler Bing : Very informative! Rachel Green : Not at all inappropriate! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back. Rob : That was great, the kids loved you. Phoebe Buffay : Yay, I rock. Rob : And you know why? Because you told the truth, and nobody ever tells kids the truth.You were incredible. Phoebe Buffay : But. Rob : How did you know there was a but? Phoebe Buffay : I sense these things. It was either but or butter. Rob : The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hopin' that you'd play more songs about like, barnyard animals. Phoebe Buffay : I can do that. Rob : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rob : Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me? Phoebe Buffay : Thinkin' about it. Janitor : Ahh, the bat. Ambassador of darkness, flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger, sightless spectre of the macabe. Ross Geller : Buddy, my monkey? Janitor : Oh, yeah, right. There was a break-in, few months back, inside job. Your monkey was taken. Ross Geller : Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead. Janitor : The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya? Ross Geller : That, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me. Janitor : Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes? Ross Geller : That guy Lipson? Janitor : Lipson knows. Do you have any idea who else knows? Ross Geller : No, I, I only know Lipson. Janitor : Hmm, Lipson knows huh? Ahh, hello Mr. Opossum, enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night, taunting gravity with... Ross Geller : Buddy, my monkey, my monkey. Janitor : Word on the street - well, when I say street, I mean those little pretend streets they have here at the zoo. Ross Geller : Of course. Janitor : Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know. Ross Geller : This is unbelievable. Janitor : So, what is this information worth to you, my friend? Ross Geller : Are you trying to get me to bribe you? Janitor : Maybe. Ross Geller : But you already told me everything. Ross Geller : Check it out, he actually is the MonkeyShine monkey. Rachel Green : Well, so what're you gonna do? Ross Geller : Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is. Chandler Bing : That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales. Phoebe Buffay : OK, hi again. #ALL# : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens! Tv Doctor : You're the only one who can save her Drake. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God. Ross Geller : Well, there goes my whole belief system. Erica Ford : It's Erica. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, quick turn off the TV. Rachel Green : No no no, wait, I wanna see what happens. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out. Rachel Green : Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina? Monica Geller : Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Erica, c'mon in. Erica Ford : How did you get here so fast, I just saw you in Salem? Joey Tribbiani : Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up? Erica Ford : Ohh, and I see you're having a little party too. Is she here, huh, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Who? Erica Ford : Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge. Joey Tribbiani : It's not what you think, that was... Erica Ford : You told me I was the only one. Joey Tribbiani : Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor. Erica Ford : Oh my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this? Joey Tribbiani : Somebody wanna help me out here? Rachel Green : Oh, I know, I know. Erica Ford : How, how can you be here and there. Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause it's a television show. Erica Ford : Drake, what're you getting at? Joey Tribbiani : I'm not Drake. Ross Geller : That's right, he's not Drake, he's Hans Remore, Drake's evil twin. Erica Ford : Is this true? Rachel Green : Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. Monica Geller : And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. Chandler Bing : And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. Erica Ford : Is all this true? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you. Erica Ford : Oh Hans. Ross Geller : Hans...Hans...Yo evil twin. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Goodbye Erica, good luck in Salem. Take care Erica Ford : I'll never forget you Hans. Joey Tribbiani : OK, alright, the people who threw the water. Phoebe Buffay : Fired! Why? Rob : The library board has had a lot of complaints from parents about some of the stuff in your songs. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth? Rob : No. Phoebe Buffay : I see. Rob : Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs. Phoebe Buffay : No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur? Rob : I'm not saying you have to be Barney. Phoebe Buffay : Who's Barney. Ross Geller : Well, I tracked down Marcel and get this, he's healthy, he's happy, and he's right here in New York filming Outbreak II - The Virus Takes Manhattan. Rachel Green : You're kidding. Joey Tribbiani : This is amazing. Ross Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's makin' movies. Phoebe Buffay : OK, Rachel, I'm ready. Rachel Green : OK. Kid : Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth? Phoebe Buffay : Um, yeah I guess that's me. Kid : She's here. Phoebe Buffay : Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la... Ross Geller : This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year. Chandler Bing : What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre? Security Guard : C'mon people, back up please, back up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon. Ross Geller : Uh, excuse me, uh, where can we find the monkey? Security Guard : I'm sorry guys, closed set. Ross Geller : Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together. Security Guard : Yeah, and I have a time share in the Pocanos with Flipper. Monica Geller : Ross, there he is. Ross Geller : Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... Security Guard : Uh, excuse me folks this is a uhh... Joey Tribbiani : Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. Ross Geller : Good morning. Hey pal, look who I brought. It's your old friend Harry Elefante. Joey Tribbiani : Woah, dude, burn. Ross Geller : I don't get it, he seemed so happy to see me yesterday. Trainer : Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all. Rachel Green : Now just how big of a star is Marcel? Trainer : In human terms, I'd say Cybill Shepard. #ALL# : Woah. Chandler Bing : So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid. Director's Assistant : Hey Sal, Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready for the subway set? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he? Director's Assistant : The one in the director's chair. Joey Tribbiani : Gotcha. Phoebs, walk with me. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'? Susie Moss : We've got a problem. Director's Assistant : Tell me. Susie Moss : I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche. Director's Assistant : Is it bad? Susie Moss : It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan. Director's Assistant : I'll talk to her. Susie Moss : I hate actors. Chandler Bing : Nice camoflauge man, for a minute there I almost didn't see ya. Susie Moss : Excuse me. Chandler Bing : Ahhhh. Susie Moss : Uh, is your name Chandler? Chandler Bing : Uh, yes, yes it is. Susie Moss : Chandler Bing? Chandler Bing : Do you know me or are you just really good at this game? Susie Moss : I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. Chandler Bing : Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up. Susie Moss : It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it. Chandler Bing : Oh, right, well yeah, I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp. Susie Moss : Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants. Chandler Bing : Yes, back then I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank God I don't do that anymore. Monica Geller : Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Rachel Green : What what what what? Monica Geller : Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot. Rachel Green : Ya think? Monica Geller : The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop? Rachel Green : No, was he any good in it? Monica Geller : Rachel, he like, totally changed time. Rachel Green : Wow, so why don't you go talk to him? Monica Geller : Oh, yeah. Rachel Green : What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen? Monica Geller : He could hear me. Rachel Green : OK, I'm doin' it for ya. Monica Geller : Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook. Rachel Green : Excuse me. Hi. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Hi. Rachel Green : Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute. Jean-Claude Van Damme : You don't think I'm cute? Rachel Green : I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her? Jean-Claude Van Damme : You can tell her I think her friend is cute. Chandler Bing : No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows. Susie Moss : OK, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating? Chandler Bing : OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money. Susie Moss : Oh that's me, I gotta go. Chandler Bing : Oh uh, o, OK. Susie Moss : Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date. Chandler Bing : Well, uh, let's try one more. . . there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock. Susie Moss : I'll be there, and who knows, if things go well, maybe this time I'll get to see your underwear. Chandler Bing : No one was around to hear that? Monica Geller : So what'd he say? Rachel Green : Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no. Monica Geller : Well, thanks anyway. Rachel Green : He just kept asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking. Monica Geller : Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do... Rachel Green : Jean-Claude she said yes, I'll see you tonight. Thank you. Rachel Green : And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore. Joey Tribbiani : Oh man, she's so smokin, she has got the greatest set of. . . no guys around, huh. Rachel Green : Does anybody need anything? Monica Geller : Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself. Rachel Green : That is so unfair. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme. Ross Geller : Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours. Joey Tribbiani : You're blowin' me off for a monkey? Ross Geller : Hey, we can rescedule for Saturday. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons. Chandler Bing : Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done. Phoebe Buffay : Stick a fork what? Chandler Bing : Like, when you're cooking a steak. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, OK, I don't eat meat. Chandler Bing : Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done? Phoebe Buffay : Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell. Chandler Bing : OK, then, eat me, I'm done. Chandler Bing : I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?' Monica Geller : What did you say? Chandler Bing : Ahh, I believe my exact words were, 'Flaign,en - sten'. I mean I didn't know what to say, how do you know if you wanna do it on an elevator? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you just know. Susie Moss : Oh, shoot, we gotta go, got a reservation in 30 minutes. Chandler Bing : Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops. Susie Moss : Oh, 200 seconds of passion. We gotta go. Susie Moss : But um, here's an idea, have you ever worn women's underwear? Chandler Bing : Well, ye, yes, actually, but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's, and there were three of us in there. Susie Moss : Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner. Chandler Bing : You want me to wear your panties? Susie Moss : Could ya? Chandler Bing : Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell. Ross Geller : OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake. Joey Tribbiani : Oooh. Ross Geller : With mealworms. Joey Tribbiani : Yaaahhh. Ahhh, candles. What'dya thinks gonna happen here tonight? Ross Geller : Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye. Phoebe Buffay : OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first. Rachel Green : Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set? Phoebe Buffay : Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share... Monica Geller : Ya know, you had no right to go out with him. Rachel Green : That is the most ridiculous. Monica Geller : You sold me out. Rachel Green : I did not sell you out. Monica Geller : Yes you did. Absolutely. Rachel Green : Would you let me talk. Monica Geller : Did you just flick me? Rachel Green : OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- Ow. That hurt Monica Geller : Quit flicking Rachel Green : Ow, you stop flicking. Monica Geller : You flicked me first. Phoebe Buffay : OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass. Monica Geller : Ow. Ow. Ow. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, now I will let go if you both stop. Rachel Green : Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want? Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Rachel Green : You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want? Monica Geller : OK. Rachel Green : Oh that's what you want. Monica Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : Fine. Monica Geller : Fine, Phoebe Buffay : There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches. Ross Geller : Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Forget about it. Susie Moss : How you doin there squirmy? Chandler Bing : I'm hangin in. . . and a little out. Joey Tribbiani : So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities. Director's Assistant : I have nothing to do with casting. Joey Tribbiani : So what're you guys gonna eat? Susie Moss : How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over? Chandler Bing : Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it. Susie Moss : I want you right here, right now. Chandler Bing : Right now, right here. Don't ya think we're in kind of a public plaaaa They do have the shrimp. Susie Moss : Meet me in the bathroom. Chandler Bing : I'm going to the bathroom now. Susie Moss : C'mon. Chandler Bing : I can't believe we're doing this. Susie Moss : Alright mister, let's see those panties. Chandler Bing : Alrighty. Susie Moss : Ooh. Ooh. But ya know what would be even sexier? Chandler Bing : What? Susie Moss : If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them. Chandler Bing : Oh. Susie Moss : Alright. Now I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. Take your clothes off. Chandler Bing : OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials. Susie Moss : C'mon hurry, hurry. Chandler Bing : Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right? Susie Moss : Alright, turn around. Time to see you from behind. Chandler Bing : OK. Susie Moss : Oh, somebody's been doing his buns of steel video. Chandler Bing : Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie. Susie Moss : This is for the fourth grade. Chandler Bing : Huh? Where, whaddya mean? Susie Moss : Whaddo I mean. Whaddya mean, whaddo I mean? I mean underpants, mister, that's what I mean. Chandler Bing : What, what's what you mean? Susie Moss : My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18. Chandler Bing : That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that? Susie Moss : Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. Chandler Bing : Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back. Monica Geller : I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? Can you beat up that guy? Jean-Claude Van Damme : Sure. Monica Geller : This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Normally, I would not do it. Monica Geller : Well, what made you make the exception for me? Jean-Claude Van Damme : 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and... Monica Geller : Say you're sorry. Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Say it. Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it. Rachel Green : OK, OK, that is my favorite sweater, that is my third date sweater. Monica Geller : Say you're sorry. Rachel Green : OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. Monica Geller : What're you gonna do? Rachel Green : You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara. Monica Geller : You don't have the guts. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute. Phoebe Buffay : Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place? Phoebe Buffay : Yes that's right. But still, I-, look at your purse, look at your sweater, look at yourselves. Monica Geller : I'll help you fix your sweater. Rachel Green : I'll help you throw out your purse. Monica Geller : I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him. Rachel Green : Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him. Monica Geller : I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves Chandler Bing : Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Ma? Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off. Chandler Bing : Oh, no no no, she took off with my clothes. Joey Tribbiani : Are you naked in there? Chandler Bing : Not exactly. . . I'm wearin panties. Joey Tribbiani : Huh, you uh, you always wear panties? Chandler Bing : No, no, this is the first time. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes. Chandler Bing : I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them. Joey Tribbiani : Well, let me see. Chandler Bing : No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, alright. Woah, someone's flossing. Ross Geller : Joey, some people don't like that. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler's wearing panties. Ross Geller : What? Let me see. Chandler Bing : No, no, you don't have to see. Ross Geller : Hi Tushie. Chandler Bing : Alright, one of you give me your underpants. Joey Tribbiani : Can't help you, I'm not wearing any. Chandler Bing : How can you not be wearing any underwear? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong. Chandler Bing : Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants. #ALL# : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you? Phoebe Buffay : I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie. Ross Geller : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye. Ross Geller : Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Ross Geller : What? Jean-Claude Van Damme : I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, or you and me. Drew was very disappointed. Rachel Green : OK, well, bye. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Goodbye. Monica Geller : Well, bye for me too. Rachel Green : OK, well, bye-bye again. Monica Geller : OK. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Perhaps, uh, the three of us, just could. . . Monica Geller : Oh, no no no no no. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Are you sure, I can crush a walnut with my butt. Monica Geller : No no no no. Rachel Green : Impressive. Monica Geller : But no. Maybe if I were baking. Monica Geller : Bye-bye. Ross Geller : Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy. Phoebe Buffay : You know, I think I want to write a song about all this. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string? Chandler Bing : How long you been waitin' to say that? Phoebe Buffay : About 20 minutes. CLOSING CREDITS Jean-Claude Van Damme : Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying. Joey Tribbiani : Aaaaagggghhhhh. Director : Cut. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying. Joey Tribbiani : Aaaaagggghhhhh. Director : Cut. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying. Joey Tribbiani : Aaaaagggghhhhh. Mommy Director : Cut. Jean-Claude Van Damme : Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Hold on a second. Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope. Chandler Bing : What's this? Joey Tribbiani : Eight hundred and twelve bucks. Chandler Bing : Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man. Chandler Bing : Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. Chandler Bing : Wow, I don't know what to say. Wow, I, I don't know what to say. Joey Tribbiani : Heh, what d'ya say? Chandler Bing : I don't know. It's a bracelet. Joey Tribbiani : Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out. Chandler Bing : To my best bud. Thanks best bud. Joey Tribbiani : Put it on. Chandler Bing : Oh, now? No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. You put this on, you're good to go. Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet. Chandler Bing : I so am. Joey Tribbiani : You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life? Chandler Bing : Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track. Interviewer : Well, this all looks good. Monica Geller : Great. Interviewer : And if I want to call for a reference on your last job? Monica Geller : Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing. Interviewer : Alright, lets see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad. Monica Geller : A salad? Really I, I could do something a little more complicated if you like. Interviewer : No, just a salad will be fine. Monica Geller : You got it. Interviewer : Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it. Monica Geller : Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce. Interviewer : Uh-huh. Is it dirty? Monica Geller : Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it. Interviewer : Don't, I like it dirty. Monica Geller : That's your call. Interviewer : So, uh, what are you going to do next? Monica Geller : Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos. Interviewer : Are they, uh, firm? Monica Geller : They'r alright. Interviewer : You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad? Monica Geller : No really, they're OK. Interviewer : You gonna slice them up real nice? Monica Geller : Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne. Interviewer : Aaaahhhhhhh. Monica Geller : I'm outa here. Ross Geller : Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, some guy she met at the movies. Ross Geller : Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight. Ross Geller : I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service. Phoebe Buffay : Hang in there, it's gonna happen. Ross Geller : Wha, OK, now how do you know that? Phoebe Buffay : Because she's your lobster. Chandler Bing : Oh, she's goin' somewhere. Phoebe Buffay : C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . . Chandler Bing : Hey, you feelin' better? Monica Geller : Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me. Phoebe Buffay : So, do you have any other possibilities? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent. Ross Geller : Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money. Monica Geller : No no no, if I couldn't pay you back right away then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you. Ross Geller : Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them. Chandler Bing : Ya know, the man's got a point. Phoebe Buffay : What is that sparkly thing? Chandler Bing : That thing, it's a uhh. . . yeah it's, it's a little flashy. Ross Geller : No no, no no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella. Monica Geller : Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons. Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Judy Geller : Hi darling. Monica Geller : So, what's this. Ross Geller : Some of your old stuff. Judy Geller : Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym. Monica Geller : Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room? Ross Geller : Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them. Monica Geller : Oh, God forbid. Judy Geller : Oh, hi Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi. Judy Geller : Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear. Rachel Green : Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see. Ross Geller : Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii. Rachel Green : What, what incident? Ross Geller : Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. Phoebe Buffay : Do you want a refill? Chandler Bing : No, I'm alright, thanks. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now. Chandler Bing : I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's. Gail : I'm Gail. Chandler Bing : Chandler. Gail : I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you. Chandler Bing : What? Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap. Phoebe Buffay : It's not that bad. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. That's actually good. Ross Geller : Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha. Phoebe Buffay : I think she's OK. Ross Geller : Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. Excuse me, are you Rachel? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow. Rachel Green : What are you, what are you doin'? Ross Geller : Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids. Man : Sure will. I've uh, gotta go. Take care. Ross Geller : OK, see ya later, nice meeting you. You're welcome. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I was saving you. Rachel Green : Saving, saving, saving me from the pleasant conversation with the interesting man, saving me? Ross Geller : Oh, see from where I was sitting I uh. . . Rachel Green : OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save. Ross Geller : But, you are. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster. Rachel Green : OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again? Ross Geller : No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing? Phoebe Buffay : Do the claws again. Ross Geller : Rach. OK, forget, forget the lobsters OK. We're, let's talk, what about us? Rachel Green : Ross, there is no us, OK. Ross Geller : No, but. . . Rachel Green : No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it. Ross Geller : Well, but, but. . . Rachel Green : NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that. Ross Geller : E-except, except that what? Rachel Green : No, no, ACC-cept that. Ross Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? OK, that's my bad. Joey Tribbiani : If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so. Chandler Bing : Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me? Joey Tribbiani : Well, what about the fact that you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me? Chandler Bing : OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. Joey Tribbiani : You know what the. . . Chandler Bing : I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . Ross Geller : You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Judy Geller : Hi, darling. Where's my grandson, you didn't bring him? Ross Geller : No, he's at uh, Carol's and Susan's today. Ross Geller : A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying. Judy Geller : Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. Monica Geller : Where have you been? Ross Geller : Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet? Monica Geller : No, but that's probably 'cause I haven't asked them yet. Ross Geller : C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news. Monica Geller : Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it. Judy Geller : Why? Monica Geller : Because they made me. Judy Geller : You were fired? What're you gonna do? Ross Geller : Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go? Monica Geller : In the bank. Ross Geller : There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. Monica Geller : Anything larger back there? Chandler Bing : I can't believe it. Phoebe Buffay : Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay. Chandler Bing : Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. Rachel Green : Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? Phoebe Buffay : Hey now you have two. Oh, now you have two. Chandler Bing : What am I gonna do, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : How come you have two? Chandler Bing : Well this one's for you. Joey Tribbiani : Get out. Chandler Bing : No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, it's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler Bing : That's what they'll call us. Ross Geller : Here you go, you can pay me back whenever you like. Monica Geller : You have dinosaur checks? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something, what's wrong with that? Monica Geller : Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Mon, what is this? Monica Geller : Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then. Chandler Bing : Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica, what's on this video tape? Monica Geller : Hey, you got me, put it in. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Judy Geller : Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : What is with your nose? Rachel Green : They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum. Chandler Bing : OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut. Monica Geller : You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this. #ALL# : Oh yeah we do. C'mon. Judy Geller : Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica. Monica Geller : Over here dad. Ross Geller : Wait, how do you zoom out? There she is. Joey Tribbiani : Some girl ate Monica. Monica Geller : Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds. Chandler Bing : Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you? Monica Geller : Oh, you look so great. Rachel Green : Ahh, so do you, beautiful. Monica Geller : Oops. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Shoot, I think I got mayonaise on you. Rachel Green : Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress. Ross Geller : Everybody smile. Monica Geller : Oh, dad, turn it off. Ross Geller : It is off. Monica Geller : Dad, it is not. What's with the red light? Ross Geller : It's the off light. Right Ross? Joey Tribbiani : Lookin' good Mr. Cotter. Ross Geller : You look pretty tonight. Rachel Green : Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer? Ross Geller : Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music. Rachel Green : Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . . Ross Geller : Uh, hold, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . . Rachel Green : Oh, the guys are here. Ross Geller : this summer? Chandler Bing : Work on your music? Rachel Green : Oh my God, look there's Roy Gublik. Monica Geller : Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper. Rachel Green : Where's Chip, why isn't he here yet? Roy : He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. Monica Geller : I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob. Rachel Green : I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late. Monica Geller : If you're not going then I don't want to go either. Roy : Oh, I'm gonna kick Chip's ass. Judy Geller : I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom. Ross Geller : Doubtful. Judy Geller : Jack, give me that. Talk to your son. Ross Geller : Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux. Ross Geller : Dad, she won't want to go with me. Ross Geller : Of course she would, you're a college man. Ross Geller : I don't know. Ross Geller : Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out? Rachel Green : I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh. Ross Geller : OK. Hold my board. Ross Geller : Atta boy. Ross Geller : OK, you guys, ya know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off. #ALL# : No, no, no. Ross Geller : OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright. Ross Geller : C'mon kid, let's go. Judy Geller : Ahh, are you hadsome. Ross Geller : Let's show 'em. Ross Geller : Uh, just a sec dad. OK, be cool, just be cool. OK dad. Ross Geller : Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. Chip Matthews : Bye. Judy Geller : Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off? Ross Geller : Press the button. Judy Geller : Which one? Which button, Jack. Ross Geller : The button, the button. Monica Geller : I can't believe you did that. Ross Geller : Yeah, well. Phoebe Buffay : See, he's her lobster. Judy Geller : Dance with him. Monica Geller : Mom, I'm hungry. Judy Geller : Dance with your father. Ross Geller : I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor. Monica Geller : Alright. Judy Geller : Oh, Jack. Ross Geller : Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy. Both : Oh, ohhhhh. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, no peeking. No peeking, no peeking, no peeking. Chandler Bing : Alright, alright, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes. Joey Tribbiani : Alright open your eyes. Chandler Bing : Sweet mother of all that is good and pure. Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Days of our Lives picked up my option. Chandler Bing : Congratulations! Joey Tribbiani : I know. chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen. Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : So uh, which one is mine? Joey Tribbiani : Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. Not that one. Chandler Bing : Ohh yes. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh yeah, that's the stuff. Chandler Bing : Do we dare? Joey Tribbiani : We dare. Both : Aaahhhh. AAAAHHHHHH. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up. Chandler Bing : Well they were chair-shaped cows. They never would have survived in the wild. Ross Geller : This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size. #ALL# : Woah! Monica Geller : Rose Marie really belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she? Rachel Green : Hi you guys. #ALL# : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey you. Ross Geller : Hey you. Chandler Bing : Woah, hey, yo. Rachel Green : So, uh, how was your day? Ross Geller : Oh you know, pretty much the usual, uh, sun shining, birds chirping. Rachel Green : Really? Mine too. Phoebe Buffay : Hey cool, mine too. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight. Rachel Green : OK. Ross Geller : Bye guys. #ALL# : Bye. Monica Geller : Tonight? Chandler Bing : Hey, yo. Monica Geller : What's tonight? Rachel Green : It is our first official date. Our first date. Monica Geller : Uh, hello. Rachel Green : Hi. Monica Geller : Tonight you're supposed to waitress for me, my catering thing, any of those words trigger anything for you? Rachel Green : God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date. Monica Geller : Yes but my mom got me this job. Phoebe Buffay : OK, I can be a waitress, I can be a waitress. Rachel Green : Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe. Monica Geller : Really Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing. Phoebe Buffay : I can be a waitress. OK watch this. Um, gimme two number ones, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and rick'em, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la. Phoebe Buffay : It's James Bond. Monica Geller : Sorry we're late. Richard Burke : Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was. Monica Geller : Dr. Burke, it, it's me. Richard Burke : Monica? My God you used to be so. . . I mean you, you, you, you must have lost like. . . You look great. Monica Geller : Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight. Richard Burke : Hi Phoebe, nice to meet you. So, how ya been? Monica Geller : I've been great, just great. How have you been? Richard Burke : Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt. Monica Geller : The head tilt? Richard Burke : Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt. 'How ya doin'? You OK?' Monica Geller : I'm sorry. Richard Burke : No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. 'I'm OK.' 'You sure?' 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change. Monica Geller : Oh, that's too bad. Richard Burke : I'll survive. Chandler Bing : Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up. Joey Tribbiani : What if we have to pee? Chandler Bing : I'll cancel the sodas. Monica Geller : You've got to get back out there, it's your party. Richard Burke : But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists. Monica Geller : You're an opthamologist. Richard Burke : Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif. Phoebe Buffay : That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract, I get it, no I get it, you stay out there. Richard Burke : See. Monica Geller : Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll come get you in 5 minutes with some sort of um, kabob emergency. Richard Burke : OK. You better. Oh God, here we go. Hey wanna see 'em go nuts? Watch this. Who needs glasses? Phoebe Buffay : You are so smitten. Monica Geller : I am not. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out. Monica Geller : Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up. Phoebe Buffay : So. You two are totally into each other. Monica Geller : Phoebe, he's a friend of my parents. He's like 20 years older than me. Phoebe Buffay : OK, so what, you're just never gonna see him again? Monica Geller : Not never. I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment. Phoebe Buffay : Didn't you like, just get your eyes checked? Monica Geller : Well yeah, but, you know, uh, 27 is a dangerous eye age. Rachel Green : C'mon, I'm not saying it was a bad movie, I'm just saying, you know, it was a little. . . hard to follow. Ross Geller : I told you there was going to be sub-titles. Rachel Green : I know, I just didn't want to wear my glasses on my first date. Rachel Green : Monica. Ross Geller : It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sister's name. Rachel Green : Honey, I'm just checking. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Monica. Ross Geller : Mon. Rachel Green : Monica. Ross Geller : Mon. Ross Geller : What, what. Rachel Green : I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry. Ross Geller : And that's, that's funny why? Rachel Green : Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, ya know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing. Ross Geller : I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big. Rachel Green : OK. Ross Geller : OK, my hands were no where near your butt. Rachel Green : I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there. Ross Geller : No see now, now I can't because uh, I'm feeling too self conscious. Rachel Green : Just one cheek. Ross Geller : Nuh, uh, the moment's gone. Rachel Green : Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them. Ross Geller : That's romantic. Rachel Green : C'mon touch it. Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Oh, come on squeeze it. Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Rub it. Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Oh, come on, would you just grab my ass. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, look at that. The car is on fire, yet somehow it's expensive paint job is protected by the Miracle Wax. Chandler Bing : You got a Cheeto on your face man. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : What're you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Rachel? Ross Geller : That was 14 hours ago. Chandler Bing : So how'd it go? Ross Geller : Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'? Chandler Bing : Yeah, but uh, it was 1982 and my flock of seagulls haircut was tickling her chin. Joey Tribbiani : She laughed at you? Ross Geller : Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint? Chandler Bing : It's the Miracle Wax. Joey Tribbiani : It certainly is a miracle. Rachel Green : Hi you guys. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi. Listen, I was um, thinkin' about. . . Chandler Bing : Listen can you guys uh, speak up, it's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice. Rachel Green : OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you. Ross Geller : No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how? Rachel Green : Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert. Ross Geller : Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect. Rachel Green : What's this. Chandler Bing : Could you get us a couple of beers? Richard Burke : I'm going to look into your eyes now. Monica Geller : Really. Richard Burke : Yeah, that's my job. Alright, look up. . . look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me. . . OK. Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes. Monica Geller : Good, they feel good, in my head. Richard Burke : So, it's great to see ya. Monica Geller : You too. Richard Burke : You too. Monica Geller : OK, um. Goodbye. Richard Burke : Drops! Monica Geller : What? Richard Burke : Drops. Here, they're free. Monica Geller : Thanks. So, I guess I better be going. Richard Burke : Oh, OK, yeah. I'll see ya later. Monica Geller : Thanks again. Phoebe Buffay : We have got to get you lazy boys out of these chairs. Chandler Bing : Hey, woah, hey, woah. Phoebe Buffay : You know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people. Joey Tribbiani : No, inside good, outside bad. Phoebe Buffay : You guys are so pathetic, I, oh, OH, XANADU! OH. Chandler Bing : She's one of us now. Rachel Green : Hi you guys. Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Well we just wanted to stop by and uh, say goodnight. Chandler Bing : Goodnight. Ross Geller : Look at that, they won't even turn their heads. Rachel Green : Alright you guys, I'm takin' off my shirt. Joey Tribbiani : Naa, she's lyin'. Monica Geller : Stop sending food to our apartment. Ross Geller : Well, why're you all dressed up? Phoebe Buffay : You're not the only one who has a date tonight. Ross Geller : What? You have a date? Who with? Monica Geller : No one. Ross Geller : C'mon, what's his name? Monica Geller : Nothing. Ross Geller : Come on, tell me. Monica Geller : Alright, but I'm very excited about this OK, so you gotta promise you won't get all big-brothery and judgmental. Ross Geller : Oh, I promise, what. Monica Geller : It's Richard Burke. Ross Geller : Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad. Monica Geller : Well for your information he happens to be one of the brightest, most sophisticated, sexiest men I've ever been with. Ross Geller : Doctor Burke is sexy? Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, absolutely. Ross Geller : It's the museum again, can I, oh. Rachel Green : Ya know, Dr. Burke kissed me once. Monica Geller : When? Rachel Green : When I was um, 7, I crashed my bike right out in front of his house and to stop me from crying he kissed me right here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh you are so lucky. Rachel Green : I know. Ross Geller : Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect. Chandler Bing : Well maybe he was nervous. Ross Geller : Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner. Rachel Green : It's OK, it's fine. Ross Geller : KARL! Monica Geller : Wow, is that Michelle? Richard Burke : Yep. Monica Geller : I've not seen her since high school graduation. Oh my God, that night she got so dru. . . motional. Richard Burke : Ya know, she's having another baby. Monica Geller : I thought she just had one. Richard Burke : No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . . Monica Geller : Oh, you're a grandpa. Richard Burke : Yeah. Are we nuts here? Monica Geller : I don't know, maybe. I mean I'm dating a man who's pool I once peed in. Richard Burke : I didn't need to know that. I guess 21 years is a lot. I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you. Monica Geller : Yeah. Richard Burke : So. Monica Geller : So maybe we should just. . . Richard Burke : Yeah, yeah, maybe. Monica Geller : Wow, this really sucks. Richard Burke : Yeah, it sure does. Monica Geller : Well, we don't really have to decide anything right now, do we? Richard Burke : No, no, there's no rush or anything. Delivery Guy : Pizza delivery. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm gonna kill those guys. Ross Geller : Rach. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : I'm done. Rachel Green : Yeah well, you know what, so is uh, Sorentino's. Ross Geller : Wha, OK, I'm sorry, let's uh, why don't we find someplace else. Rachel Green : No, you know what, it's late, everything's gonna be closed. Why don't we just do it another night? Ross Geller : No, no, we won't. Rachel Green : We won't? Ross Geller : C'mon. Rachel Green : OK, that's dead right? Rachel Green : What is this? What are we doing? Ross Geller : Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape? Rachel Green : Grape. Ross Geller : OK, now, sit. OK. Rachel Green : Oh, God. Ross Geller : Sorry. Rachel Green : Ah, so what are we looking at? Ross Geller : Well uh, you see that, that little cluster of stars next to the big one? That is Ursa Major. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. Rachel Green : Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. Ross Geller : You're not laughing. Rachel Green : This time it's not so funny. Rachel Green : Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. Ross Geller : What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. Rachel Green : Oh, thank God. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. Ross Geller : I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : We're not alone. Joey Tribbiani : Is that the fire alarm? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Joey Tribbiani : Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat? Chandler Bing : That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years. Chandler Bing : Waaa-aaah. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so. Chandler Bing : Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. You used my toothbrush? Joey Tribbiani : Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain. Chandler Bing : Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap? Chandler Bing : Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion? Joey Tribbiani : Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch. Phoebe Buffay : Ahh. Rachel Green : OK, ready when you are. Phoebe Buffay : Okey-doke. Monica Geller : I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos. Chandler Bing : Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos? Rachel Green : Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get? Phoebe Buffay : Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily. Chandler Bing : Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch? Joey Tribbiani : So where you gettin' it? Phoebe Buffay : I think on my shoulder. Ross Geller : What? What's on your shoulder? Phoebe Buffay : Um, a chip. A tattoo, I'm getting a tattoo. Ross Geller : A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool? Ross Geller : No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me? Monica Geller : Ross, come sign this birthday card for dad. Rich is gonna be here any minute. Chandler Bing : Oooh, Rich is goin' to the party too, huh? Monica Geller : Well, he's my parents' best friend, he has to be there. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two? Monica Geller : Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke. Phoebe Buffay : No, I think you should tell them. Monica Geller : No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything. Ross Geller : I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.' Ross Geller : Alright, shall we? Monica Geller : OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up. Ross Geller : Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. We're here. Judy Geller : Oh hi kids. Hi darling. Monica Geller : Happy birthday dad. Ross Geller : Oh thank you. Ross Geller : Hi ma. Richard Burke : Happy birthday. Judy Geller : Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride? Ross Geller : Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us. Friend : Well, you kids take the train in? Judy Geller : No, Richard Burke gave them a ride. Friend : Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. Monica Geller : Finger cramp. Oh God, sorry. Here, let me get that mom. Judy Geller : Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section. Monica Geller : Are we still on that? Judy Geller : We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin. Friend : She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. Joey Tribbiani : Can you believe this place? Chandler Bing : I know, this is a great apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes. Chandler Bing : Wow, there's my fantasy come true. No, seriously. Joey's Co-Star : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man. Joey's Co-Star : Thanks. You want it? Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Joey's Co-Star : Yeah, I'm movin' to a bigger place. You should definitely take this one. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, can you see me in a place like this? Joey's Co-Star : Why not? You hate park views and high ceilings? C'mon I'll show you the kitchen. Chandler Bing : Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK. Ross Geller : C'mon, tell us. Friend : Yeah, is she really 20. Richard Burke : I am not telling you guys anything. Ross Geller : C'mon Rich, it's my birthday, let me live vicariously. Ross Geller : Dad, you really don't want to do that. Ross Geller : Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends? Richard Burke : Jack, would you let it go? Ross Geller : Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster. Richard Burke : Guys. Seriously, it is not like that. Ross Geller : Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . . Ross Geller : Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence. Ross Geller : What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche. Phoebe Buffay : OK Rach, which, which lily? This lily or that lily? Rachel Green : Well I. . . Phoebe Buffay : I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh. Tattoo Artist : Alright, blonde girl, you're in room two, not so blonde girl, you're with me. Phoebe Buffay : Here we go. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : You're not going? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : What? Is it - is this 'cause of what Ross said? Rachel Green : No. Well, yeah, maybe. Phoebe Buffay : I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922? Rachel Green : What's 1922? Phoebe Buffay : Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo? Rachel Green : Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . . Phoebe Buffay : OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you? Rachel Green : No. Phoebe Buffay : OK, who is the boss of you?!! Rachel Green : You? Phoebe Buffay : No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!! Richard Burke : How ya doin'? Monica Geller : I'm a twinkie. Richard Burke : Really? I'm a hero. Monica Geller : Oh, this is so hard. Richard Burke : Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them. Monica Geller : Maybe we should just tell your parents first. Richard Burke : My parents are dead. Monica Geller : God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean. Richard Burke : I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright. Monica Geller : Alright. Richard Burke : Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you. Judy Geller : Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support. Ross Geller : Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one. Judy Geller : I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city? Ross Geller : I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon. Judy Geller : I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo. Ross Geller : Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her. Judy Geller : Really. Ross Geller : I tell you, I've never seen him this happy. Judy Geller : So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model? Ross Geller : Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds. Judy Geller : Oh Jack stop. Ross Geller : C'mon, it's my birthday. Joey Tribbiani : Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment. Chandler Bing : Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it. Joey Tribbiani : Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love. Chandler Bing : Well it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinkin' about it. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore. Chandler Bing : Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware. Joey Tribbiani : What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie. Chandler Bing : Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it. Joey Tribbiani : Well that's how I feel. Chandler Bing : Well then maybe you should take it. Joey Tribbiani : Well then maybe I will. Chandler Bing : Fine with me. Joey Tribbiani : Great. Then you'll be able to spend more quality time with your real friends, the spoons. Ross Geller : Who's drink can I freshen? Judy Geller : Almost time for cake. Ross Geller : Mon, Mon, are you OK? Monica Geller : You remember that video I found of mom and dad? Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Well, I just caught the live show. Ross Geller : Eww. Monica Geller : Hey there. Richard Burke : What? Monica Geller : Nothing, I just heard something nice about you. Richard Burke : Humm, really? Judy Geller : Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he? Richard Burke : Uhh, not that I know of. Judy Geller : Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call? Richard Burke : That - that's an idea. Monica Geller : Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone. Judy Geller : Oh? Richard Burke : Oh? Ross Geller : Ohh. Judy Geller : She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone? Ross Geller : Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal? Judy Geller : So, who's the mystery man? Monica Geller : Well, uh, he's a doctor. Judy Geller : A real doctor? Monica Geller : No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. Judy Geller : Well that's wonderful. . . I Monica Geller : Mom, it's OK. Richard Burke : It is Judy. Judy Geller : Jack. Could you come in here for a moment? NOW! Ross Geller : Found it. Ross Geller : I'll take that dad. Judy Geller : It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item. Ross Geller : That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city. Monica Geller : Dad, I'm the twinkie. Ross Geller : You're the twinkie? Richard Burke : She's not a twinkie. Monica Geller : Al-alright, l-look you guys, this is the best relationship I've been in. . . Judy Geller : Oh please, a relationship. Monica Geller : Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man. Richard Burke : Really? Monica Geller : Yes. Ross Geller : Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday? Monica Geller : Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier. Ross Geller : When did I say that? Monica Geller : Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that looks so good, oh I love it. Rachel Green : I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours. Phoebe Buffay : Ahh. OK, let's see yours again. Rachel Green : Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours. Phoebe Buffay : Oh OK. Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went. Rachel Green : You didn't get it? Phoebe Buffay : No. Rachel Green : Why didn't you get it? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles? Rachel Green : Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . . Chandler Bing : Yeah me too. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yeah. So do we need to hug here or. . . Joey Tribbiani : No, we're alright. Chandler Bing : So I got ya something. Joey Tribbiani : Plastic spoons. Great. Chandler Bing : Lick away my man. Joey Tribbiani : These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment. Chandler Bing : No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place? Joey Tribbiani : I'm movin' out like we talked about. Chandler Bing : Well I didn't think that was serious. Ya know I thought that was just a fight. Joey Tribbiani : Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever. Chandler Bing : Well, there you go. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry. Chandler Bing : Hey, no, I've never been lower or wetter. I'll be fine. I'll just turn your, uh, bedroom into a game room or somethin', you know, put the foosball table in there. Joey Tribbiani : Woah. Why do you get to keep the table? Chandler Bing : I did pay for half of it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half. Chandler Bing : Alright I'll tell you what, I'll play you for it. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass. Chandler Bing : Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister. Joey Tribbiani : Woah, woah, woah, woah. Which sister? Monica Geller : So, are you sorry that I told them? Richard Burke : No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running. Rachel Green : Oh. Monica Geller : Oh. Well did you get it? Let me see. Rachel Green : Is Ross here? Monica Geller : No he went out to get pizza. Rachel Green : Oh really, OK. Monica Geller : That's great. Richard Burke : Very tasteful. Phoebe Buffay : Wanna see mine, wanna see mine? Monica Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : What? You didn't get one. Phoebe Buffay : OK, well then what is this? Richard Burke : What're we looking at? That blue freckle? Phoebe Buffay : OK, that's my tattoo. Rachel Green : That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it. Phoebe Buffay : OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven. Rachel Green : Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. Ross Geller : You got a tattoo? Rachel Green : Maybe. But just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world. Ross Geller : Lemme see. Rachel Green : Well? Ross Geller : Well it's really. . . sexy. I wouldn't have thought it would be but. . . wow. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff? Rachel Green : I guess. Ross Geller : Hey, save us some pizza. Joey Tribbiani : Get out of the corner. Pass it, pass it. Chandler Bing : Stop talkin' to your men. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! And the table is mine. Chandler Bing : Congratulations. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . except when we are here. Phoebe Buffay : I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you. Monica Geller : I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore. Rachel Green : Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no, it's uh, it's not what you think. We uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that, those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs accross the street. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I remember. Ross Geller : Hey, let's bring the rest of these down to the truck. Chandler Bing : So, uhh, em, you want me to uh, give you a hand with the foosball table? Joey Tribbiani : Naa, you keep it, you need the practice. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : So, I guess this is it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. Joey Tribbiani : Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself. Ross Geller : Get out. #ALL# : No. Monica Geller : Wow Joey, this is, uhh... Joey Tribbiani : Art. Monica Geller : Art it is. Ross Geller : Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide. Rachel Green : Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come? Ross Geller : Well uh, it's cause he had a thing with, wi-, with the thing. Joey Tribbiani : Right, I go-, I got it. Phoebe Buffay : So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. Heh? Rachel Green : Hey, nice toilet. Joey Tribbiani : No no no, behind it. Ross Geller : Wha-, you have a phone in here? Joey Tribbiani : That's right, I have a phone in here. Monica Geller : Joey, promise me something. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : Never call me from that phone. Rachel Green : OK, here we go. Honey, I'm sorry, they were all out of apple pie, someone just got the last piece. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered. Chandler Bing : Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago. Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK. #ALL# : OK. Phoebe Buffay : OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat. #ALL# :  Phoebe Buffay : I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video. #ALL# :  Phoebe Buffay : I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album. Phoebe Buffay : I'm done now. #ALL# :  Rachel Green : Oh God. Ross, OK, if you care about me at all, you will get the pie out of the man's hood. Ross Geller : Get the what? Rachel Green : Pie in the hood, pie in the hood. Go. Guy : What're you doing? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. Monica Geller : Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom. Ross Geller : Calm down, I'm blow drying. Monica Geller : Blow drying what, you have no hair. Rachel Green : What's goin' on? Monica Geller : Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again . Rachel Green : Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now. Monica Geller : GET OUT YOU DUFUS!! Rachel Green : Or ya know, he's rubber and you're glue. Ross Geller : All yours. Monica Geller : I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain. Ross Geller : I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain. Monica Geller : Shut up. Ross Geller : Shut up. Monica Geller : Cut it out. Ross Geller : Mi-mi-mii. Rachel Green : I've never wanted you more. Chandler Bing : So, whaddya say boys, should I call him? Well, ya know what they say. Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy. Joey Tribbiani : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Listen, I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing. Chandler Bing : Yeah well, I hear the place looks great. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin' Chandler Bing : Oh hey, it's, it's terriffic. I mean it's a regular space... fest. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well great. Chandler Bing : Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey. Joey Tribbiani : Well OK then. Was that the oven timer? Chandler Bing : That's right my friend. It's time for... Both : Baywatch!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer? Chandler Bing : I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant. Joey Tribbiani : Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe. Chandler Bing : Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, they're runnin' Chandler Bing : See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind. Monica Geller : But I thought you wanted to live by yourself. Joey Tribbiani : I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back? Joey Tribbiani : You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad. Monica Geller : I promise you, he would definitely want you back. Ross Geller : I'm telling you, there's no way he's moving back. Chandler Bing : But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night. I mean it was, it was like when we first started living together. Ross Geller : Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now but, we've seen him in his new place, alright. And he's happy, he's, he's decorated. Rachel Green : Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too. Chandler Bing : But... Ross Geller : No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore. Producer : OK Phoebe, you ready to try one? Phoebe Buffay : OK. Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that? Producer : They're your backup singers... beind you. Phoebe Buffay : OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know. Producer : Alrighty. From the top. Phoebe Buffay : OK. Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat. Producer : Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh OK. So, um, the cat stinks but you love it, let's go. Ross Geller : No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. Oh, were you takin' a nap? Monica Geller : I was. Ross Geller : Oh I-, Oh wait, Tony can you hang on? That's the other line. Hello. Oh yeah she's here but uh, can she call you back? OK thanks. Call Joanna. Hi. Monica Geller : Did she leave a number? Ross Geller : Did you see me write one down? Monica Geller : I don't have her number, butt-munch. Ross Geller : Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby. Monica Geller : I'm not a baby, you're the baby. Ross Geller : Look, you wanna get off my back? Monica Geller : You wanna get out of my face? Ross Geller : Wait hold on Tony, hold on. Hello. Hi, yeah no, she's right here. Um hold on. Hi Tony, can I call you back? That's uh, that's my sister's boyfriend. Monica Geller : Give me that. Ross Geller : OK. Monica Geller : Hi sweetie, look before I forget, did I leave my diaphram at your place? Hi mom. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : So uhh, how's the palace? Joey Tribbiani : You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes? Chandler Bing : Oh, uhh, actually I uh, have some news. Eddie Menuek : Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out? Chandler Bing : Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie. Eddie Menuek : Nice to meet ya. Joey Tribbiani : Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet? Eddie Menuek : At the uh, supermarket, in the uh, ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Chandler Bing : Well you know, we got to talking and uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, now it's a spare room? Chandler Bing : Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare. Joey Tribbiani : Well I uh, got what I came for. I'll uh, I'll see you guys. Chandler Bing : Hey Jo. When'd you start usin' mousse in your hair? Eddie Menuek : Is this guy great or what? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah he is. Monica Geller : I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy? Ross Geller : Uh, Eddie something. He just met him. Rachel Green : It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. #ALL# : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video. #ALL# :  Phoebe Buffay : Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. OK. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : I sound amazing. I, I, I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head. Oh, this is so cool, now I can hear what you hear. Rachel Green : Pretty uhm, different huh? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented. Eddie Menuek : Hi Joey, what's goin' on man? Joey Tribbiani : Eddie. Chandler Bing : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. Where's the mail? Chandler Bing : Oh it's uh, over there on the table. Joey Tribbiani : You don't keep it over here on this table any more? Chandler Bing : No, Eddie likes to keep it over there. Eddie Menuek : Alright, here you go my friend. Eggs a-la Eddie, huh? Chandler Bing : Oh, ooh. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me. Chandler Bing : Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good. Eddie Menuek : Well you guys, I'm outta here. See ya pals. Chandler Bing : See ya. Joey Tribbiani : So how you two gettin' along? Chandler Bing : Oh, I couldn't be happier. Joey Tribbiani : Great, well, I'm happy for ya. Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice. Chandler Bing : There's another carton right over there. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man. Chandler Bing : Alright, so what's it about? Joey Tribbiani : Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh? Chandler Bing : Well I like both eggs equally. Joey Tribbiani : Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which. Chandler Bing : Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs? Monica Geller : I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight. Ross Geller : Tough noogies, we're watching Predators of the Serengetti. Rachel Green : Would you guys stop. Monica Geller : It's my TV. Ross Geller : Wha-, oh, quit it. Monica Geller : Bite me. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel. Monica Geller : Oh that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me. Rachel Green : Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. Monica Geller : OK, what're we gonna do about this? Ross Geller : Well, I guess we could tape Entertainment Tonight. Monica Geller : Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here. Ross Geller : Ow, ow, OK. Alright, alright, Mon, Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, alright. Monica Geller : I just can't stand you being here all the time. Ross Geller : Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, ya know, we're just havin' fun. Monica Geller : Fun? Fun, you think this is fun? Ross Geller : Yeah, c'mon I mean I though, you know, I thought we're just foolin' around. Like when, uh, when we were kids. Monica Geller : Ross, I hated you when we were kids. Ross Geller : You hated me when we were kids? Monica Geller : Yes. I hated you. I mean I, I, loved you in a 'you're my brother so I have to' kind of way, but basically, yeah, I hated your guts. Ross Geller : Why did you hate me? Monica Geller : Because, you were mean to me and you, you teased me and you always, always got your way. Ross Geller : And that wasn't fun for you? Monica Geller : Duh-huh! Ross Geller : I can't believe you hated me. Monica Geller : Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to. Ross Geller : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off. Ross Geller : I can do that. Monica Geller : Then I won't have to kill you. Ross Geller : So you wanna watch uh, Entertainment Tonight? Monica Geller : Yeah, thanks. You know what? Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can. Ross Geller : Ohh... OK. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. #ALL# : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video. #ALL# : No. Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Rachel Green : Well, how did you find out? Phoebe Buffay : Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue. Monica Geller : So what're you gonna do? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I can't work with people who would do this. Monica Geller : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : I mean this poor woman. Ross Geller : What woman? Phoebe Buffay : The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video. Rachel Green : OK, Phoebs. But what about you? Phoebe Buffay : Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels. Chandler Bing : Hey Eddie, you uh, wanna play some foosball? Eddie Menuek : No thanks man, I'm not uh, I'm not really into sports. Chandler Bing : Yeah o-, OK, alright. Doesn't matter, time for Baywatch. Eddie Menuek : Y-, y-, you like that show? Chandler Bing : You don't like that show? Eddie Menuek : Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know. Chandler Bing : Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the running. Eddie Menuek : I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while. Chandler Bing : Oh o-, OK man. Phoebe Buffay : Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody. #ALL# : Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, it's not your fault. Phoebe Buffay : Monica. Monica Geller : They won't take you to the vet. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler. Chandler Bing : You're obviously not their favorite pet. Monica Geller : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : It may not be a bed of roses. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel. Rachel Green : And you're no friend to those with noses. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more. Amber : Oh Drake. Dr. Drake Ramoray : I'm sorry Amber. It's just like Brad to have to have the last word. Ross Geller : I'm sorry I'm late, what happened? Monica Geller : We, we just wanna see the end. Amber : I want you Drake. Dr. Drake Ramoray : I know you do but you and I can never be together that way. Amber : What? Dr. Drake Ramoray : There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother. Rachel Green : So what happens next? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed. Chandler Bing : God that is good TV. Chandler Bing : Phoebs, play with meeee. Phoebe Buffay : No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation. Chandler Bing : Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time. Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you play with your roommate? Chandler Bing : Ah he's a, he's not a big fan of foosball. Phoebe Buffay : Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy? Chandler Bing : No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we? Chandler Bing : We don't need to remedy that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, it'll be fun. Eddie Menuek : What was that? Phoebe Buffay : Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other. Eddie Menuek : Yeah alright, that sounds alright. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye. Chandler Bing : That was so lame. Phoebe Buffay : I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. Chandler Bing : So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er? Eddie Menuek : That's good, that's good. So, so, so who broke up with who? Chandler Bing : What're you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought that Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia. Eddie Menuek : That's good man, when everybody knows that the uh, the capital of Cambodia is uh... Chandler Bing : Well it's not Sean Penn. Eddie Menuek : Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it? Phoebe Buffay : And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night. Richard Burke : Phoebe's got another job, right? Rachel Green : Great set tonight Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Ross Geller : Well, we should probably get going. Richard Burke : Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring. Monica Geller : Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place. Richard Burke : I don't know, I don't have my jammies. Monica Geller : Well, maybe you don't need them. Ross Geller : My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen. Monica Geller : Shut up, I'm happy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best. Richard Burke : Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Richard Burke : Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot. Monica Geller : Not a lot, Phoebe's kidding, Phoebe's crazy. Rachel Green : Phoebe's dead. Tilly : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi. Tilly : I'm looking for Eddie Minowick. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank? Tilly : Thanks. Chandler Bing : Oh, oh, c'mon in. Tilly : I'm Tilly. Chandler Bing : Oh. Tilly : I gather by that oh that he told you about me. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul. Tilly : He's kind of intense huh? Chandler Bing : Yes. Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie a little... Eddie Menuek : A little what? Chandler Bing : Bit country? C'mon in here you roomie. Eddie Menuek : Hello Tilly. Tilly : Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank. Eddie Menuek : That's very thoughtful of you. It's very thougtful. Tilly : Well, ok then. I'm gonna go. Bye. Eddie Menuek : Bye-bye. Chandler Bing : Bye. Chandler Bing : So, we gettin' a fish? Eddie Menuek : You had sex with her didn't you? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest, oh that's one of my favorite digests. Joey Tribbiani : Page 42, page 42, page 42. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, ok. Ooh, hey 'new doc on the block, Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani.' Ooh, cool picture. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, I look good. Phoebe Buffay : Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.' Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this? Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that? Writer : Makes up most of his lines. Son-of-a-. Yeah, well, write this jerkweed. Joey Tribbiani : I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft? Delivery Guy : Uhh, I don't know, I just bring the scripts. Joey Tribbiani : They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son. Delivery Guy : Right. Could you sign this? Joey Tribbiani : No. No way, I'm not signing that. Delivery Guy : I don't think that's gonna affect the plot of the show. Joey Tribbiani : How can they do this to me? Delivery Guy : Er, uh, I'm just gonna go. Sorry. Monica Geller : Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage. Rachel Green : Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious. Ross Geller : G'night. Richard Burke : Night Richard. Good luck Mon. Monica Geller : Alright, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with. Richard Burke : Two. Monica Geller : Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you? Richard Burke : Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two. Monica Geller : Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. Richard Burke : Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark. Monica Geller : Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark. Rachel Green : Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now. Ross Geller : Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number? Rachel Green : Uhhhooo. Ross Geller : C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them. Rachel Green : Well, there's you. Ross Geller : Better not be doin' these in order. Rachel Green : Ok, uh, Billy Dreskin, Pete Carney, Barry, and uh, oh, Paolo. Ross Geller : Oh yes, the weenie from Torrini. Rachel Green : Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo? Oh, c'mon, I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, ya know, that sounded soooo much better in my head. Chandler Bing : Eddie, I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend. Eddie Menuek : That's very interesting, ya know, 'cause that's exactly what someone who slept with her would say. Chandler Bing : This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story. Eddie Menuek : Where's Buddy? Chandler Bing : Buddy? Eddie Menuek : My fish, Buddy. Chandler Bing : There was no fish when she dropped it off. Eddie Menuek : Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy? Chandler Bing : Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie... Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? Richard Burke : That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me? Monica Geller : Well yeah. Richard Burke : Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet. Monica Geller : You really ok with it? Richard Burke : Oh honey, I'm fine. Monica Geller : Oh, yay. Ok about that two. Richard Burke : What? Alright, what about my two? Monica Geller : Well, it just seems like a really small number. Richard Burke : Right, and... Monica Geller : And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat? Richard Burke : Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with. Monica Geller : But you've only slept with two people. Richard Burke : Right. Monica Geller : Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right. Richard Burke : Now I do. Rachel Green : Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh. Ross Geller : Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes. Rachel Green : God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was... Ross Geller : Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex? Rachel Green : Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo. Ross Geller : Knock-knock. Rachel Green : But, what you and I have is so much better. Ok, we have tenderness, we have intimacy, we connect. Ya know, I swear, this is the best I have ever had. Ross Geller : Until now. Rachel Green : Oh, hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Richard just told me he loves me. Rachel Green : Oh my God, honey that's great. Monica Geller : I know. I just can't find... Rachel Green : Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry. Monica Geller : You need one too? Rachel Green : Ooooh yeah. Monica Geller : There's only one. Richard Burke : Monica. Monica Geller : Hi. Uh, we'll be right there, we're just trying to decide something. Ross Geller : Rachel. Hey. Richard Burke : Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting. Ross Geller : Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different? Richard Burke : No. Ross Geller : Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat? Richard Burke : I have a little comb. Ross Geller : Oh. And what do you call that? Richard Burke : A moustache comb. Rachel Green : Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month. Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : Ok, ok, ok, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months. Monica Geller : Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan. Rachel Green : Agghhh. Ross Geller : So were you in Nam? Rachel Green : Rock-paper-scissors? Monica Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : One two three. Rachel Green : Yeesss. Monica Geller : Fine, go have sex. Richard Burke : No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs. Ross Geller : No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was... Rachel Green : Honey. Ross Geller : What, what oh.... Richard Burke : Shall we? Monica Geller : It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow. Richard Burke : Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand... Chandler Bing : So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes. Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish. Phoebe Buffay : Why would you kill his fish? Chandler Bing : Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish. Rachel Green : Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Wait, he's not here yet. Rachel Green : So, he's on the show, he knows what happens. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Alright. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way. Rachel Green : Oh good. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother. Amber : Oh Drake. Dr. Horton : Hard day huh? First the medical award, this. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Some guys are just lucky I guess. Intercom : Dr. Remore, report to first floor emergency, stat. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong? Dr. Horton : No, no, they only said you. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Oh, ok. Alright. Amber : I love you Drake. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Yeah, whatever. Oh no. Amber : Drake, look out. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Monica Geller : Did they just kill off Joey? Ross Geller : No. Now maybe. Ross Geller : C'mon. Rachel Green : Joey. Ross Geller : Open up. We want to talk to you. Joey Tribbiani : I don't feel like talkin. Rachel Green : Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you. Chandler Bing : We're worried about you. Monica Geller : And some of us really have to pee. Monica Geller : Sorry Joey Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks. Chandler Bing : We came over as soon as we saw. Ross Geller : How could you not tell us? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out. Rachel Green : Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back. Joey Tribbiani : Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin. Phoebe Buffay : But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera. Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say. Monica Geller : Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice. Chandler Bing : It's gonna be ok. You know that? Joey Tribbiani : No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry man. Rachel Green : Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us. Joey Tribbiani : No, that means nothin to me. Chandler Bing : Uhhhaahh. Eddie Menuek : Pecan sandy, just made em. Chandler Bing : Yeah alright. What're these, raisins? Eddie Menuek : Uh, sure, why not. Chandler Bing : Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling? Eddie Menuek : I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you. Chandler Bing : Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker. Eddie Menuek : What's you point man? Chandler Bing : Ok, good night. You big freak of nature. Ross Geller : Hey. Richard Burke : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Richard Burke : Ohh, brisk tonight. Ross Geller : Oh man. Richard Burke : Let's never speak of this. Ross Geller : You got it. Chandler Bing : Hey Eddie. Daahh!! What're you doin' here? Eddie Menuek : Nothin' roomie, just watchin' you sleep. Chandler Bing : Why? Eddie Menuek : Makes me feel um, peaceful, heh-heh, please. Chandler Bing : I can't sleep now. Eddie Menuek : You want me to sing? Chandler Bing : No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now. Eddie Menuek : Woah, woah, woah, what're, what're you talkin' about man. Chandler Bing : Hannibal Lecter...better roommate than you. Eddie Menuek : No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh? Chandler Bing : I didn't realize that. Eddie Menuek : Yeah. Chandler Bing : GET OUT NOW!! Eddie Menuek : Ok, you really want me out? Chandler Bing : Yes please. Eddie Menuek : Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out. Chandler Bing : I want you out. Eddie Menuek : No no no, I wanna hear it from your lips. Chandler Bing : Where did you hear it from before? Eddie Menuek : Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow. Eddie Menuek : I heard that. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh? Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have? Monica Geller : A mirror? Joey Tribbiani : Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty. Monica Geller : Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache. Monica Geller : Cache? Jaunty? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, so so so, did you read the book? Monica Geller : Oh my God, it was incredible. Phoebe Buffay : Didn't it like totally speak to you? Rachel Green : Woah, woah, woah, what book is this? Monica Geller : Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it. Rachel Green : Men just take out wind? Phoebe Buffay : Ya-huh, all the time, cause they are the lightning bearers. Rachel Green : Wow. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit. Monica Geller : It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind. Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : No, 'cause he's yummy. Monica Geller : Yes. But all the other ones. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip. Joey Tribbiani : Anybody want a croan. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?' Estelle Leonard : Don't worry about it already. Things happen. Joey Tribbiani : So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything? Estelle Leonard : Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth? Joey Tribbiani : No, can we get back to me? Estelle Leonard : Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World. Joey Tribbiani : Alright. Cab driver number two? Estelle Leonard : You're welcome. Joey Tribbiani : But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab? Estelle Leonard : Things change, roll with em. Joey Tribbiani : But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this. Estelle Leonard : Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry. See ya. Rachel Green : Oh, God, oh, God, I mean it's just so. Monica Geller : Isn't it. Rachel Green : Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'. Phoebe Buffay : I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you. Ross Geller : Hey you guys. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Uh, sweetie we've gotta go. Rachel Green : NO! Ross Geller : No? Rachel Green : No, why do we always have to do everything according to your time table? Ross Geller : Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning. Rachel Green : No, see this isn't about the movie theatre, this is about you stealing my wind. Monica Geller : You go girl. I can't pull that off can I? Ross Geller : Excuse me, your, your, your wind? Rachel Green : Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow? Ross Geller : You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that. Rachel Green : Ok, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Um-um, um-um. Rachel Green : You're right, I don't have to apologize. Sorry. Damnit! Joey Tribbiani : What is it? Ross Geller : I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it. Joey Tribbiani : See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What, what's that? Joey Tribbiani : It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good. Ross Geller : Open it, open in. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Ross Geller : Woah. Joey Tribbiani : Look at this, how did I spend so much money? Ross Geller : Uh Joey, that's just the minumum amount due, that's your total due. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh. Ross Geller : What, woah, woah, $3500 at porcelain safari? Joey Tribbiani : My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Ross Geller : Well I guess you can start by drivin a cab on Another World. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : That audition. Joey Tribbiani : That's a two line part. Ross Geller : Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite. Joey Tribbiani : So what. Ross Geller : So suck it up man, it's a job, it's money. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, look, I don't need you getting all judgemental and condescending and pedantic. Ross Geller : Toilet paper? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Look, I'm not being any of those things, ok, I'm just being realistic. Joey Tribbiani : Well knock it off, you're supposed to be my friend. Ross Geller : I am your friend. Joey Tribbiani : Well then tell me things like, 'Joey you'll be fine,' and, 'Hang in there,' and, and, 'Somethin' big's fonna come along, I know it.' Ross Geller : But I don't know it. What I do know is that you owe $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe. Ross Geller : Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I don't wanna hear this right now. Ross Geller : Huh, I'm just saying... Joey Tribbiani : Well don't just say. Ross Geller : Ya know, maybe, maybe I should just go. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Ross Geller : Ok. I'll see ya later. Just think about it, ok. Joey Tribbiani : I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there? Eddie Menuek : Hey pal. Chandler Bing : Ahhhh-gaaaahhh. Eddie what're you still doin' here? Eddie Menuek : Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables. MAN ALIVE this thing's fantastic! Chandler Bing : Look Eddie, aren't you forgetting anything? Eddie Menuek : Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one. Chandler Bing : Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now? Eddie Menuek : Well, not unless it's got something to do with dehydrating my man because right now I'm a dehydrating maniac! Chandler Bing : Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time... Eddie Menuek : Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is? Chandler Bing : Your last roommate's kidney? Eddie Menuek : That's a tomato. This one definitely goes in the display. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go. Gunther : Lemonade? You ok man? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show. Gunther : Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it? Joey Tribbiani : I fell down an elevator shaft. Gunther : That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche. Joey Tribbiani : What? Gunther : I used to be Bryce on All My Children. Chandler Bing : Daaahhhh! Monica Geller : Aaahhhhhhh! Aaahhhh! Chandler Bing : Why must everybody watch me sleep? There'll be no more watching me sleep, no more watching. Monica Geller : I wa- Chandler Bing : Uuuh. Eddie Menuek : Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons. Chandler Bing : Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out. Eddie Menuek : What? Chandler Bing : You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT! Eddie Menuek : You, you want, you want me to move out? Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Eddie Menuek : I uh, I gotta tell you man, I mean, that's uh, it's kinda out of the blue, I mean don't you think? Chandler Bing : This is not out of the blue, this is smack dab in the middle of the blue. Eddie Menuek : Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack! Chandler Bing : You want some help. Eddie Menuek : No help required Chico. Joey Tribbiani : All the way to the airport huh? You know that's over 30 miles, that's gonna cost you about so bucks. Casting Guy : Excuse me, that's 50 bucks. Joey Tribbiani : What? Casting Guy : Five oh dollars. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything. Casting Guy : That's great. Joey Tribbiani : And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting. Casting Guy : Ok, listen, thanks for coming in. Joey Tribbiani : No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no. Monica Geller : And I would have to say pah-huh. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : Do you not remember the puppet guy? Rachel Green : Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power. Monica Geller : And his puppet too. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date. Monica Geller : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Paul. Monica Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Ok, ok, ok, moving on, moving on, next question. Ok number 29, have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightning bearer? Ok, number 30. Monica Geller : Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29. Rachel Green : Not uh, not to my recollection. Monica Geller : Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me. Rachel Green : Only 'cause you took up half the circle. Phoebe Buffay : Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone. Rachel Green : Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica. Monica Geller : One hour? You are such a leaf blower. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey uh, be careful with that 3-D last supper, Judas is a little loose. Ross Geller : Oh my God, what's goin' on? Joey Tribbiani : They're takin all my stuff back. I guess you were right. Ross Geller : No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition. Joey Tribbiani : I went. Ross Geller : Great, how did it go? Joey Tribbiani : I didn't get it. Ross Geller : Good for you. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : You're livin' the dream. Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Ross Geller : All right then. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, not my parrot. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : I can't watch this. Ross Geller : Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird? Mover : 1200. Ross Geller : Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register. Ross Geller : Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200? Mover : Uh, the dog. Ross Geller : Huh. Mover : Yeah. Ross Geller : I'll take it. My gift to you man. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks Ross. I really like that bird though...I'll take the dog though. Rachel Green : Here are your cakes. Monica Geller : We didn't order cake. Rachel Green : No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other. Monica Geller : You're right. Rachel Green : You know. Phoebe Buffay : I love you goddesses. I don't ever want to suck your wind again. Rachel Green : Thank you. So are we good? Monica Geller : We're good. Rachel Green : We're good? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck. Chandler Bing : Ding dong, the psycho's gone. Monica Geller : Are you sure this time? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD! Eddie Menuek : Check it out man, I tore it off some mannaquin in the alley behind Macy's. Monica Geller : There is no alley behind Macy's. Eddie Menuek : So I got it in the junior miss department, big diff. Anyway check it out man, it's gonna make a hell of a conversation piece at out next cocktail party, huh pal? Chandler Bing : Our next cocktail party? Eddie Menuek : Yeah, you know, put chips in it, we'll make like a chip chick. Chandler Bing : Eddie, do you remember yesterday? Eddie Menuek : Uh yes, I think I vaguely recall it. Chandler Bing : Do you remember talking to me yesterday? Eddie Menuek : Uh, yes. Chandler Bing : So what happened? Eddie Menuek : We took a road trip to Las Vegas man. Chandler Bing : Oh sweet Moses. Monica Geller : So on this road trip, did you guys win any money? Eddie Menuek : Naah, I crapped out, but Mr. 21 over here he cleans up, 300 bucks, check it out he buys me these new shoes, sweet huh? Monica Geller : Nice. Eddie Menuek : Yeah. Well see ya upstairs. See ya pals. Phoebe Buffay : Is anyone else starting to really like him? Chandler Bing : May I help you? Eddie Menuek : Why doesn't my key work and what's all my stuff doin' downstairs? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm, I'm sorry... Ahhh. Have we met? Eddie Menuek : It's Eddie you freak, your roommate. Chandler Bing : I, I'm sorry, I uh I already have a roommate. Joey Tribbiani : Hello. Chandler Bing : Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man. Eddie Menuek : No he, he moved out and I moved in. Chandler Bing : Well I, I think we'd remember something like that. Joey Tribbiani : I know I would. Eddie Menuek : Well that's uh, that's a good point. Um ok, well, uh, I guess I got the wrong apartment then. I, I'm, look, I'm, ya know, I'm sorry, I'm terriably sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey no problem. Chandler Bing : See ya. Goodbuy you fruit drying psychopath. So you want me to help you unpack your stuff? Joey Tribbiani : Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is... Chandler Bing : Welcome home man. Joey Tribbiani : A little foos? Chandler Bing : Absolutely. Joey Tribbiani : What happened to the foosball? Chandler Bing : Ah that's a cantelope. Chandler Bing : Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over? Joey Tribbiani : He paid a lot of money for it. Chandler Bing : I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky. Chandler Bing : So is he housetrained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay. Good, STAY! Good fake dog. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Watcha guys doin? Richard Burke : Monica's making us watch Old Yeller. Phoebe Buffay : Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : What're you talkin' about? Phoebe Buffay : C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun. Ross Geller : Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end? Phoebe Buffay : What when Yeller saves saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy? Rachel Green : That's not the end. Phoebe Buffay : Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'. Monica Geller : What about the part where he has rabies? Phoebe Buffay : He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said. Richard Burke : Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen. Phoebe Buffay : What, what's about to happen? I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. Monica Geller : Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves. Joey Tribbiani : Ya know, one of these times you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over. Monica Geller : Alright, I've got a leg, three breasts and a wing. Chandler Bing : Well, how do you find clothes that fit? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question. Monica Geller : Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look. Joey Tribbiani : No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket. Chandler Bing : Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?' Monica Geller : Ok. Hey, why don't you ask Richard? Joey Tribbiani : Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick? Richard Burke : Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan. Chandler Bing : Ok, that's Eric. Richard Burke : Glad to be of help. Matches. Monica Geller : I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Monica Geller : C'mon. Keeps his fingers to himself and he's always minty fresh. Chandler Bing : I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings. Monica Geller : So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag. Joey Tribbiani : How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car? Chandler Bing : Ok, this could be tough. Joey Tribbiani : Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar. Chandler Bing : Ooh, you almost had it. Ross Geller : No no, you're fine, you're fine. Carol Willick : Hello Ross Geller : Hi. Susan Bunch : Hey. Carol Willick : Hi honey. Ross Geller : Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened. Carol Willick : What? Susan Bunch : What? Ross Geller : Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it. Carol Willick : Uhh, we know, he already did it last week. Susan Bunch : You can watch our tape if you want. Ross Geller : I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour? Carol Willick : Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen. Ross Geller : Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like- Carol Willick : Great. That would be fine. Ross Geller : Really? I mean, I, I had a whole speach prepared. Susan Bunch : Oh shout, that would have been fun. Ross Geller : Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey Phoebs, whatcha got there? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, Love Story, Brian's Song, and Terms of Endearment. Monica Geller : Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car. Monica Geller : So'd you guys have fun? Chandler Bing : Your boyfriend is so cool. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15. Rachel Green : Wow, he must like you the best. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats . Chandler Bing : You're welcome. Hey Joey, thanks for parking the car . Joey Tribbiani : No problem. Hey Chandler Chandler Bing : I think they get it. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Chandler Bing : There's the man. Joey Tribbiani : He-he-eyy. Richard Burke : Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. He kept my dollar. Monica Geller : So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do? Carol Willick : Uh, we're going down to Colonial Williamsburg. Susan Bunch : Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there. Ross Geller : Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg. Carol Willick : Think I better go before mommy starts weeping. Ross Geller : Buy mommy. Carol Willick : We love you. Buy. Ross Geller : Have a good time. Ok, Ben. Monica Geller : Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Look. Joey, do you know we can see you from here? Joey Tribbiani : How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me? Ross Geller : Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula. Monica Geller : You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard. Joey Tribbiani : Not like him, per-se, just not un-like him. Ross Geller : Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler. Chandler Bing : Just tryin' somethin' here, ya know. Monica Geller : So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache? Joey Tribbiani : Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks. Ross Geller : Yeah, you really sidestepped that land mine. Chandler Bing : Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs. Monica Geller : You're meeting Richard? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we're goin' to a Ranger game. Chandler Bing : Yeah, didn't he tell ya? Monica Geller : Well, he told me he was going out with the guys, I just didn't know that you were the guys. Chandler Bing : You hear that? We're the guys. Joey Tribbiani : We're the guys. Monica Geller : With that moustache doesn't Chandler remind you of Aunt Sylvia? Ross Geller : Thank you. Ross Geller : Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try. Rachel Green : No luck huh? Ross Geller : Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah sure, Ok. Ross Geller : What're you doing? Rachel Green : Uh, I'm holding Ben. Ross Geller : Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb. Rachel Green : Ok. Ross Geller : Well just hold him like you'd hold a football. Rachel Green : This is how I would hold a football. Ross Geller : Ok, here, here. There we go. Rachel Green : Ok, I'm sorry, I'm just not very good with babies. I mean I haven't been around them, I mean, you know, since I was one. Ross Geller : It's alright, it's no big deal. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah, definitely, I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : You think about stuff like that? Ross Geller : Uhh, yeah. I mean, actually I kinda think that we'll have, we'll have two babies. Rachel Green : Two, two babies? Ross Geller : Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive. Rachel Green : Then what's gonna happen? Ross Geller : Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great. Rachel Green : Wow. Wow, that's great. Great. Ok, wow, you know what. Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Richard Burke : Hey Phoebs, what's happening? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok, murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes. Monica Geller : So you watched the movies huh? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies. Richard Burke : Charlotte who? Phoebe Buffay : With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud. Monica Geller : Alright, you wanna feel better? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Ok, here, watch this. Phoebe Buffay : It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this. Monica Geller : So you can't lose, it's there in the title. Wonderfullness is baked right in. Phoebe Buffay : Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease. Richard Burke : Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming? Phoebe Buffay : Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity. Chandler Bing : Hey, big guy, game time. Richard Burke : Hey, be right there. Monica Geller : There's a game? Chandler Bing : Uh, yeah, I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel. Richard Burke : It's the basketball playoffs. Monica Geller : Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other. Richard Burke : Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?' Monica Geller : Alright that's great, then just go. Go Knicks. Richard Burke : Uh, it's the college playoffs. Monica Geller : Oh, then go Vassar. Richard Burke : Uh, they're not in it. Monica Geller : Ok, then just go. Richard Burke : Ok. Monica Geller : Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Monica Geller : It's just that he doesn't have that much free time, ya know, and I don't know, what do I do? Phoebe Buffay : Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off. Rachel Green : Aghh. Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Monica Geller : I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys. Rachel Green : Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century. Monica Geller : Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles. Ross Geller : Ok, what the hell happened back there? Rachel Green : I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes. Ross Geller : Well I'm sorry, I think about stuff. Ya know, I mean, you're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders. Rachel Green : Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks. Ross Geller : C'mon, what, you never think about our future? Rachel Green : Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be. Ross Geller : No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good. Rachel Green : What was the book? Ross Geller : The big book of childrens' names. Rachel Green : Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that. Ross Geller : Ok fine. Rachel Green : Thank you. Ross Geller : We're not done. Rachel Green : I didn't know that. Ross Geller : Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that. Rachel Green : Fine, I will. Ross Geller : Good, 'cause I love you. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well I love you too. Ross Geller : Well that's the first time we've said that. Rachel Green : Yes it is. Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna kiss you. Rachel Green : Well you better. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip. Monica Geller : Did you like it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed. Monica Geller : Alright, I'll give you the ear thing but don't you think the ending was pretty wonderful? Phoebe Buffay : I didn't watch the ending, I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse, it should have been called, "It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does." Chandler Bing : Kick save and... denied. Richard Burke : But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier? Joey Tribbiani : Man you are incredible. Richard Burke : Well, we had a table in college. Chandler Bing : Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's. Richard Burke : Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in. Monica Geller : Honey. Uh, not to sound too Florence Henderson but, dinner's on the table. Richard Burke : Ok, just one more point. Monica Geller : Score! Now can we go? Chandler Bing : See, that's why we don't let her play. Richard Burke : Is everything all right? Monica Geller : Um-hmm. Richard Burke : Uh-oh. Chandler Bing : Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's just really great to hang around with. Richard Burke : Well. Joey Tribbiani : No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here. Richard Burke : Uh, you guys see me as a dad? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Chandler Bing : No. Joey Tribbiani : Nooooo. Chandler Bing : Your just, your just clearly not familiar with our young persons vernacular. See, when we say dad, we mean buddy. We mean pal. Richard Burke : Uh-huh, yeah. Chandler Bing : No no, seriously, Joey's my dad, Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work. Richard Burke : That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around. Monica Geller : Nighty-nite. Chandler Bing : You're not a dad. You're not a dad. Joey Tribbiani : Not a dad. Chandler Bing : I can't believe you got us into trouble. Monica Geller : So are you ok? Richard Burke : Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys. Monica Geller : Come here. I'll make you feel like one of the guys. You know for a really cool guy, you suck at foosball. Richard Burke : What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em. Monica Geller : Yeah, well they suck too. Ross Geller : Ok, and then you take the poopie diaper and you put it in the poopie diaper pail. Rachel Green : Ok Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter. Ross Geller : Hello. Carol Willick : It's us. Ross Geller : Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. Rachel Green : Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi. Ben Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'. Ross Geller : Wha, what? Rachel Green : Ben just said hi. Ross Geller : What, the word hi? Rachel Green : Ye-, no, my Uncle Hi. Ross Geller : Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just bring it out in him. Carol Willick : Hello. Rachel Green : Guess what. Ben just said his first word. Carol Willick : What did he say? Ross Geller : Something about hi. Susan Bunch : That's so exciting. Carol Willick : Mommy is so proud of you. Hi. Hi. Rachel Green : You know, actually it's more like, hi. Carol Willick : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Carol Willick : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Carol Willick : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Carol Willick : Hi. Susan Bunch : Ok, this could go on for a while. Carol Willick : We've got a cab waiting downstairs. Ross Geller : Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him. Carol Willick : Tuesday. Ross Geller : Tuesday right. Ok, bye you guys. Rachel Green : Take care. Ross Geller : Bye Ben. Ben Geller : Bye. Rachel Green : Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me. Susan Bunch : Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college. Carol Willick : We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting. Ross Geller : Alright, alright, ok. Bye. Ben Geller : Bye. Ross Geller : Bye. Ben Geller : Bye. Ross Geller : Bye. Ben Geller : Bye. Ross Geller : Bye. Ernie : Oh wow, look at this nice deep hole I've been digging. Hey Bert, isn't this a nice hole here. Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. Ernie : Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm so glad you're here. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel? Monica Geller : 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting. Rachel Green : Ok honey, you really need a job. Ross Geller : Mon, speaking of which, dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview. Monica Geller : Really. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there. Ross Geller : On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say behuh. Phoebe Buffay : No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name. #ALL# : Ahh. Phoebe Buffay : And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken. Monica Geller : His indian name? Phoebe Buffay : No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so. Ross Geller : Freakish. Monica Geller : Wow. Joey Tribbiani : Freaky. Monica Geller : Weird, weird. Rachel Green : Ok, so uh, who wants the last hamburger? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him. Monica Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist. Chandler Bing : Man, I am so beat. Ross Geller : Oh yeah. Chandler Bing : Hey, you just wanna forget about raquetball and hang out here? Ross Geller : Yeah alright. Big Bully : Hey you're in our seats. Ross Geller : Oh, sorry we didn't know. Little Bully : Hey, we were sitting there. Chandler Bing : Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it? Little Bully : Is that supposed to be funny? Chandler Bing : No actually, I was just going for colorful. Big Bully : What's with this guy? Little Bully : What's with you? Ross Geller : Uh, nothing, nothing's with him. Enjoy your coffee. Chandler Bing : What just happened? Little Bully : I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My, my joke is that I, I took your hat. Chandler Bing : That, that is funny. Can I have it back? Little Bully : No. Chandler Bing : No? Big Bully : No. Ross Geller : Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat. Big Bully : Why should we? Ross Geller : Because it's a special hat. See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler... Chandler Bing : Stop talking, stop talking now. Let me just get this straight. You're actually stealing my hat? Big Bully : You got a problem with that? Chandler Bing : No, just wanna make sure we're on the same page. Rachel Green : Hey, how'd the interview go? Monica Geller : It bit. It was a 50's theme restraunt. I have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean I was a chef at Cafe des Artistes. I mean how could I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne and Curly Fries? Rachel Green : So don't do it. Monica Geller : How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, relax, go get a beer. Monica Geller : I don't want a beer. Joey Tribbiani : Who said it was for you? Chandler Bing : Hhhiiii. Rachel Green : What's the matter with you? Chandler Bing : The mean guys at the coffee house took my hat. Rachel Green : Noo. Joey Tribbiani : You're kiddin'. Ross Geller : It was ridiculous. Ya know, these guys, they were bullies, actual bullies, ya know. We're grown ups, this kinda stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore. Rachel Green : Oohhh. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Chandler Bing : Ohhh Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, woah, let's go down there and get your hat back. Chandler Bing : Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now. Monica Geller : Hey, I went up. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it. Joey Tribbiani : Do what? Monica Geller : Put all my money in me. Rachel Green : Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market. Monica Geller : What's to know? Buy sell, high low, bears bulls... Yes Manhattan...yeah telephone number of the stock...selling store. Joey Tribbiani : See, didn't I tell ya these pillows would be a good idea? Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'. Rachel Green : We love you, we're here for you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah good luck, good luck. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, you uh, you want some sandwich? Rachel Green : Ohh, what is in that? Joey Tribbiani : Olive loaf and ham spread, no mayo. Rachel Green : No no, 'cause mayo, that would make it gross. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, hey, no, oh oh. Rachel Green : Run Phoebe run. Phoebe Buffay : No no no, doggie please. Oh, I do so wanna love all animals, please no. Joey Tribbiani : Get him a bone, get a bone. You gotta bone? Rachel Green : Are you kidding me? Phoebe Buffay : Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. Ok, alright, we have a problem. Joey Tribbiani : Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline. Rachel Green : Ok, here, I know what we can do. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, hey no. Rachel Green : Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say? Joey Tribbiani : Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will. Phoebe Buffay : Are you crazy? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebs, he's just a little dog. Ahhh. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Do you have to be a Century 21 real-estate agent to get to wear those really cool jackets? Ross Geller : Do you say this stuff to girls? Big Bully : Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat? Little Bully : And look where they're sitting. Ross Geller : You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door. Big Bully : Maybe we didn't make it clear enough. Little Bully : Yeah. Big Bully : This couch belongs to us. Chandler Bing : Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to. Big Bully : You know what I keep wondering? Why you two are still sitting here. Ross Geller : Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat. Gunther : Fellas, these guys were here first. Big Bully : Oh, sorry, I didn't realize. Little Bully : Sorry. Gunther : There you go. Ross Geller : Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that. Little Bully : He told on us? Big Bully : You told on us? Ross Geller : Well pal, you didn't give me much of a choice. Chandler Bing : Don't play with his things. Ross Geller : I know. Big Bully : Alright, let's take this outside. Ross Geller : Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that? Big Bully : The guy that's about to kick your ass talks like that. Chandler Bing : You had to ask. Ross Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : Ok, ok look, see, the thing is we're, we're not gonna fight you guys. Little Bully : Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again. Chandler Bing : I think you played the Gunther card too soon. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Phoeb's, I think you're good to go. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I don't know. Rachel Green : What's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right. Rachel Green : Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, whatever you need. Hey, you wanna go home? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, thanks. Sorry, again Phoebe Buffay : What was that? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now. Monica Geller : I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo. Rachel Green : Time is money my friend? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you missed, 'Takes money to make money,' and uh, 'Don't make me come down there and kick your wall street butt.' Monica Geller : Hey, I made $17 before breakfast, what have you done? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, I had breakfast here so technically I saved $3.50. Rachel Green : How did you make $17. Monica Geller : Well, my financially challenged friends, I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY. Joey Tribbiani : How come those? Monica Geller : Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy. Rachel Green : What happened to uh, MEG.? Monica Geller : MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down. Joey Tribbiani : That is so not my motto. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey Phoebs. Oh hey, how's the dog? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Good. Rachel Green : Oh, thank God. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping. Rachel Green : Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok? Phoebe Buffay : I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.' Joey Tribbiani : Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. Monica Geller : DON'T...be too long with the phone. Rachel Green : She'll be a much better friend when the market closes. Joey Tribbiani : It's a woman. Phoebe Buffay : So talk to her. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, hello Miss Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know that he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within, within 24 hours. Uh, goodbye. Rachel Green : Why the voice. Joey Tribbiani : Hard to say. Chandler Bing : Your cappucino sir. Ross Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Ya know I think this is much better than the coffee house. Ross Geller : Absolutely. Ross Geller : How come it's not mixing with the water? Chandler Bing : Well the package says you have to uh, constantly keep it moving. Stir and drink, stir and drink, never let it settle. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there. Chandler Bing : Ok. Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : No? Ross Geller : No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys. Chandler Bing : Alright, hang on a second there Custer. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before? Ross Geller : Yeah, sure. Joey Tribbiani : By someone besides Monica? Ross Geller : No. So what. So what if we get beaten up, maybe that's just something every man has to go through once in his life. Ya know, like a, like a right of passage or somethin'. Chandler Bing : Well, couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Ya know, because I think actually mine's growing back. Monica Geller : I need to borrow a hundred bucks. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Hi, welcome home. I need to borrow a hundred bucks. Rachel Green : For what? Monica Geller : I've gotta get back in the game. Rachel Green : Why, when did you get out of the game? Monica Geller : I don't know, I lost it all ok. I lost it. Rachel Green : Oh no. Monica Geller : Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too. Rachel Green : Ok. Look uhh, Mon I'm, I'm really sorry. Monica Geller : Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks? Rachel Green : I, I don't have it. Monica Geller : But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs. Rachel Green : Nobody does honey. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Mrs. Buffay : Schnoodle. Oh my God, what the hell happened to my dog? Phoebe Buffay : It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian. Mrs. Buffay : What are these, stitches? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast. Mrs. Buffay : Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him. Phoebe Buffay : Sure, oh, is, is Frank home. Mrs. Buffay : How do you know Frank? Phoebe Buffay : Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here? Mrs. Buffay : Yeah. Frank. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok, um, I mean Frank senior. Mrs. Buffay : He went out for groceries. Phoebe Buffay : Ok so will he be back soon? Mrs. Buffay : Well he left four years ago so we're expecting him back any minute now. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, I'm, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry about the dog, everything. I'm sorry. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey lady. Hey wait up. How do you know my dad? Phoebe Buffay : Um well I don't really. Just genetically. He's kinda my dad too. Frank Buffay Jr. : Heavy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. So um, did he ever talk about me, Phoebe? Frank Buffay Jr. : No but he didn't really talk about anything. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Frank Buffay Jr. : Except stilts. Phoebe Buffay : Stilts? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, he loved stilts. One time I was upstairs, I was stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and uh, all of a sudden I look over and there's my dad's head bobbing past the window. He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving 'cause he was always happiest when he was on his stilts. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I don't know what to do with that. Frank Buffay Jr. : Me neither. So you're like my big sister. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Frank Buffay Jr. : This is huge, you can buy me beer. Phoebe Buffay : I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.' Frank Buffay Jr. : I gotta friend named Mark. Phoebe Buffay : That'll work too. Frank Buffay Jr. : Cool, alright. So maybe, ya know, I could give you a call sometime, we could talk or somethin'. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, that'd be ok. Frank Buffay Jr. : Alright. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I'm in the book. Frank Buffay Jr. : Ok, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Alright. So um, stilts huh? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Ross Geller : Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take? Chandler Bing : Would you come on! Come on! Thank you. Chandler Bing : Ah, there we go. Ross Geller : I think we proved our point. Chandler Bing : You burn your mouth? Ross Geller : Cannot feel my tounge. Chandler Bing : Bullies, big bullies. Little Bully : Oh, look who's here, it's the weenies. Big Bully : Did we not make ourselves clear the other day. Ross Geller : Yes, and that's why we're here. Chandler Bing : Yes, we're standing out ground...apparently. Little Bully : Let's do this alright. Ross Geller : Woah, ho-ho, whad'ya got there, a weapon? Little Bully : It's a nice watch, I don't wanna break it on your ribs. Chandler Bing : Alright, let's do this. Little Bully : Alright. Chandler Bing : Question. If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon? Ross Geller : Whad'ya mean? Chandler Bing : Well, it's sharp, it's metal, I think I can do some, you know, serious damage with it. Big Bully : No, you can't use your watch. Chandler Bing : Ok. Big Bully : Or your keys. Chandler Bing : Ok. Little Bully : Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. Alright, c'mon man, let's do this. Ross Geller : Before I forget, are we hitting faces? Big Bully : Of course we're hitting faces, why wouldn't you hit faces? Ross Geller : Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation. Little Bully : Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea. Big Bully : Ok, nothing from the neck up. Or the waist down. Dana's ovulating. Little Bully : Oh really, you guys tryin' again? Big Bully : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Ok, so let me just get this straight. So we're uh, strictly talking about the middle? Big Bully : C'MON! Ross Geller : Hey, hey, woah, you want some of this, huh? You want a piece of this, huh? I'm standin here, huh. Chandler Bing : Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! Ross Geller : Hey. Big Bully : Hey. Ross Geller : God, that was, that was amazing, that was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt. Little Bully : Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy. Ross Geller : Yeah he was wasn't he. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I wouldn't know having missed everything. Big Bully : Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope. Ross Geller : So, listen guys, are we uh, are we ok here? Little Bully : We're ok. Ross Geller : Alright. Chandler Bing : Ok so, can I have my hat back? Little Bully : No. Chandler Bing : Huh. Rachel Green : Look at her. Chandler Bing : Hi Monica. Joey Tribbiani : He-he-he, how's it goin'? Phoebe Buffay : Hey nice boobs. Chandler Bing : Guys guys, check this out. Joey Tribbiani : Excellent. Monica Geller : So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon. #ALL# : Ohhh. Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things? Monica Geller : You wanna be in charge of the food committee? Ross Geller : Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees? Joey Tribbiani : Really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun? Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are. Monica Geller : Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special, fine. You can throw any kind of party you want. Monica Geller : Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See honk honk. Chandler Bing : Wow, it's, it's like porno for clowns. Ross Geller : I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come. Monica Geller : Ok, um so, I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper. Joey Tribbiani : Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper. Phoebe Buffay : Why not her? Joey Tribbiani : Cause she uh, she steals stuff. Chandler Bing : Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back. Monica Geller : Joey that is horriable. Joey Tribbiani : Hey I liked her, alright. Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know I guess I just got scared. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I didn't know. Joey Tribbiani : I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok. Ross Geller : Hi honey, how did it go? Rachel Green : Agh, it was the graduation from hell. Chandler Bing : Ya know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship. Rachel Green : Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica. Monica Geller : So what happened? Rachel Green : My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents. Monica Geller : Well, how bout just her mom? Chandler Bing : Why her mom? Monica Geller : Cause I already invited her. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake? Monica Geller : Ok, we're not having birthday cake, we're having birthday flan. Chandler Bing : Excuse me? Monica Geller : It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's nice. Happy birthday Rachel, here's some goo. Monica Geller : Dr. Greene. Oh my God it's Rachel's dad. What're you doing here? Leonard Green : What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday? Monica Geller : No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye. Leonard Green : Ohhh, you're having a parteee. Monica Geller : No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey. Leonard Green : I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it? Chandler Bing : This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir? Sandra Green : Hi Monica. Monica Geller : Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus. Chandler Bing : So, basically just a Chinese guy. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hey, Dr. Greene, why don't you come with me, we'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed. Leonard Green : Alright, that sounds like a two person job. Sandra Green : Well, my goodness, what was that? Monica Geller : Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we just weren't ready for you yet. Sandra Green : You thought I was Rachel? Chandler Bing : Yes because uh, you look so young. Phoebe Buffay : And because you're both, you know, white women. Sandra Green : Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom? Chandler Bing : NO! No, I'll take that for ya. Sandra Green : Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was... Phoebe Buffay : Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. Monica Geller : Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Chandler Bing : Ok, think, what would Jack and Chrissy do? Joey Tribbiani : Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, oh, ok we can come back out in the living room. Monica Geller : So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place. Chandler Bing : Uhh, yes, absdolutely, um. Why again? Monica Geller : Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area. Joey Tribbiani : Right this is staging. Chandler Bing : Yeah, this more than anything else, is the staging area. Joey Tribbiani : This is clearly in the wrong apartment. Chandler Bing : Alright you guys are off to party number one and you, you are off to party number two Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin. Monica Geller : Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? Alright that's Ross. Chandler Bing : Ok, they're coming, shhh. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you for the wonderful dinner. Ross Geller : Thanks for being born. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you. Ross Geller : Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok. Rachel Green : Now I love you even more. #ALL# : Surprise. Rachel Green : Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great. Sandra Green : Happy birthday sweetie. Rachel Green : Wow you, you. I had no idea. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : No, I knew. Ross Geller : All right. Monica Geller : Ok, everybody, there's food and drinks on the table. Go across the hall. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now. Rachel Green : Why. Monica Geller : Just go. #ALL# : Surprise. Leonard Green : Happy birthday sweetpea. Rachel Green : Daddy. Rachel Green : Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here? Chandler Bing : Well, we could count again. Rachel Green : I can't believe this is happening. Ross Geller : You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares. Rachel Green : I do. Ross Geller : That's who. Chandler Bing : Look, are you gonna be ok? Rachel Green : Well, I have to be, I don't really have a choice, I mean, you know, I could look at the bright side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes. Chandler Bing : Well, actually just one birthday flan. Rachel Green : What? Chandler Bing : It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee. Chandler Bing : Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party. Joey Tribbiani : Quick volleyball question. Chandler Bing : Volleyball. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you? Chandler Bing : Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you. Girl's Voice : Dennis. Chandler Bing : Ok, that's me. Rachel Green : Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while. Ross Geller : Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers? Rachel Green : Uhh, let's just stay clear of 'I'm the guy that's doing you daughter' and you should be ok. Monica Geller : Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out. Ross Geller : Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game? Leonard Green : It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today. Ross Geller : I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead. Monica Geller : Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. Gunther, where're you going? Gunther : I um, was sorta thinking about maybe... Monica Geller : No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker. Phoebe Buffay : Listen if you wanna go, just go. Gunther : No, she'll yell at me again. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, I can get you out. Gunther : What? Phoebe Buffay : Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back. Leonard Green : I think I need a drink. Ross Geller : Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want? Leonard Green : Scotch. Ross Geller : Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass. Leonard Green : Neat. Ross Geller : Cool. Leonard Green : No no no, no no no, neat, as in no rocks. Ross Geller : I know. Leonard Green : Oh hello Ross, where have you been? Ross Geller : Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse. Sandra Green : Oh, scotch neat. Ya know, that's Rachel's father's drink. Ross Geller : Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister? Leonard Green : I'm getting my cigarettes out of my jacket. Ross Geller : No. no. Leonard Green : Whad'ya mean no? Ross Geller : No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir. Leonard Green : Get my glasses too. Ross Geller : All righty roo. What a great moment to say that for the first time. Monica Geller : Ok, the first person's most embarassing memory is, 'Monica, your party sucks.' Very funny. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster? Monica Geller : What? I don't see anything. Phoebe Buffay : Great, I'm seeing water rings again. Judy Geller : Ross, whose glasses are those? Ross Geller : Mine. Sandra Green : You wear bi-focals? Ross Geller : Um-hmm. I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals. Sandra Green : Did you know my husband has glasses just like that? Rachel Green : Well those are very popular frames. Ross Geller : Neil Sedaka wears them. Guy : I hear you can get people out of here. Sandra Green : Rachel, you didn't tell me your boyfriend smoked. Rachel Green : Yeah, like a chimney. Ross Geller : Ohh, big smoker. Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. Leonard Green : Are you wearing my glasses? Ross Geller : Yes. I was just warming up the earpieces for you. Leonard Green : Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes? Ross Geller : Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute. Girl 1 : What about my friend Victor? Phoebe Buffay : No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious. Girl 1 : Alright, let me just get my coat. Phoebe Buffay : There isn't time. You must leave everything. They'll take care of you next door. Girl 1 : Is it true they have beer? Phoebe Buffay : Everything you've heard is true. Monica Geller : Could you guys please try to keep it down, we're trying to start a Boggle tournament. Monica Geller : You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here? Gunther : Um Phoebe Buffay : Ok, welcome to the fu-oh. Monica Geller : Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go. Monica Geller : Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... Rachel Green : You want me to see a therapist? Sandra Green : Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem. You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father. Rachel Green : Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing. Leonard Green : Did you know your mother spent $1200 dollars on bansai trees. I felt like Gulliver around that place. Rachel Green : Daddy, daddy, you know what, I really wanna hear more about this, I really do, but I just have, I just have to do a, some stuff. Sandra Green : You work and you work and you work at a marriage but all he cares about is his stupid boat. Leonard Green : You work and you work and you work on a boat... Sandra Green : He always ridiculed my pottery classs... Leonard Green : ...and you sand it and you varnish it... Sandra Green : ...but when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs. Leonard Green : ...and her yoga and her Bridges of Madison County... Sandra Green : ...the scotch and the cigarettes... Leonard Green : ...and the bansai's and the chiuaua... Sandra Green : ...I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now dear but... Leonard Green : ...what the hell does she want with half a boat... Chandler Bing : Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor. Rachel Green : This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this? Chandler Bing : Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program of denial and, and wetting the bed. Rachel Green : Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July. Chandler Bing : Becasue it reminded you of the way our forefathers used to bitch at each other? Rachel Green : It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just... Chandler Bing : I, I know. Monica Geller : Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun. Sandra Green : Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem. Monica Geller : Ok will do. So glad you came. Sandra Green : I think I saw Rachel out in the hall. Monica Geller : Ok, let me go check. Your mom want's to say goodbye. Rachel Green : Oh ok. Sandra Green : Happy birthday sweetie. Rachel Green : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, you drive safe. Sandra Green : Ross, what're you doing. Ross Geller : I'm getting ready for the water skiing. How are you doing? Chandler Bing : Well, uh, Dr. Greene, where are you going? Leonard Green : To get my coat. Guys : No no no. Leonard Green : Alright, alright, I can get my own coat. Chandler Bing : Sorry, we're on a major flan high. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe. Leonard Green : I have to be heading to my chateau, thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. Well, ok, you take care. Sandra Green : Oh, you kids Well, this is the best party I've been to in years. Monica Geller : Thank you. Monica Geller : Ok everybody, it's time for flan. Chandler Bing : Yup, get ready for the gelatenous fun. Joey Tribbiani : Kinda looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection. Monica Geller : Ok, that's enough. Phoebe Buffay : Ok Rachel, make a special flan wish. Rachel Green : Ok, I've got one. Wow, those things almost never come true. Rachel Green : Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one bananna nut muffin left. Monica Geller : Oh, I ordered mine first. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster... Monica Geller : Give it to me. Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : Give it to me. Chandler Bing : Ok, you can have it. Monica Geller : There you go, enjoy your coffee. Chandler Bing : That was there when I got here. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York. Monica Geller : Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow. Phoebe Buffay : Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy. Rachel Green : You went out with a guy in the Navy? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man? Phoebe Buffay : No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay. Rachel Green : So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time? Monica Geller : That'll teach you to lick my muffin. Ross Geller : Hiii. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, what happened? Ross Geller : Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox. #ALL# : Oh no. Ross Geller : Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it. Rachel Green : Well I've had it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I've had it. Monica Geller : Had it. Chandler Bing : Had it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. Oh look! Monica Geller : Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp. Richard Burke : Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown. Richard Burke : Monica... Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town? Monica Geller : Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown. Richard Burke : What're you doing? Monica Geller : Just waiting for you sweetie. Richard Burke : Are you remaking the bed? Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine. Richard Burke : Then, you're redoing it because... Monica Geller : If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy. Richard Burke : You're pretty much running that risk either way. Monica Geller : Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner. Richard Burke : Oh, well that's not so crazy. Monica Geller : I'm just easing you in. Richard Burke : Oh, alright. Monica Geller : Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you. Richard Burke : Actually, if it's possible, I love you more. Monica Geller : Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point. Chandler Bing : Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor. Joey Tribbiani : But don't you need experience for a job like that? Chandler Bing : It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor. Scott Alexander : Hey Chandler, here's this morning's projections. Chandler Bing : Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor. Scott Alexander : No kidding. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call. Scott Alexander : Where do you work? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more. Chandler Bing : I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group. Scott Alexander : Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Ha-ha-ha... Joey Tribbiani : Ha-ha. Are all you processors dorks? Rachel Green : Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you. Monica Geller : You look fabulous honey, you really do. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Are you sure, really. Rachel Green : You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights. Phoebe Buffay : I, I, I'm hideous. Monica Geller : It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt. Phoebe Buffay : Come in. Ryan : Hey baby, I'm back... Phoebe Buffay : Hey Ryan, what's up? Ryan : What's goin' on? Phoebe Buffay : Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox. Ryan : Chicken or small? Phoebe Buffay : Chicken. Which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian. Ryan : Why aren't you at home in bed? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are. Ryan : I'm sorry, I never had 'em. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, ohh. Ryan : If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now. Ryan : Can I please see your face? Phoebe Buffay : Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox. Ryan : Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care. Phoebe Buffay : And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... Oh, I am scary. Ryan : Sorry, the lightning. Lightning was an unfortunate incidence. You look lovely, lovely. Phoebe Buffay : I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this. Ryan : Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey, how's the first day goin'? Joey Tribbiani : Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column. Chandler Bing : Well there you go. Joey Tribbiani : Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie. Chandler Bing : Jeannie, the head of east coast operations Jeannie? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh? Chandler Bing : Weird world. Your kids? Joey Tribbiani : I figure my character has kids. Chandler Bing : Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained. Joey Tribbiani : Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does. Chandler Bing : Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did. Chandler Bing : Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there. Ryan : You know what makes the itching even worse? Phoebe Buffay : That you don't stop talking about it. Ryan : Fine. Phoebe Buffay : Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. Here we go, double sixes, here we go... Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice... Ryan : What're you doing? Are you scratching? Phoebe Buffay : No. This is what I do for luck, ok. Ryan : You're scratching. Give me the dice. Phoebe Buffay : No. Ryan : Give me the dice. Phoebe Buffay : No. Here. There. Ooh, double sixes. Ryan : We can't scratch. You know we can't, we'll scar. Phoebe Buffay : Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. Ryan : No. Phoebe Buffay : Give it. Ryan : No. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. Ryan : Oh God help me. Phoebe Buffay : Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder. Rachel Green : Oh, stop that, stop that right now. Ross Geller : You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man. Joey Tribbiani : You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it. Jeannie : Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, thanks, thanks. Bye bye Jeannie. Jeannie : Bye bye Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What a phony. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm sure you'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. Hey Mr. Douglas. Joey Tribbiani : Sir. Mr. Douglas : Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday? Chandler Bing : Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families. Mr. Douglas : I have a family, I'm gonna be here. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah Bing, what's that about? Chandler Bing : It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday. Mr. Douglas : Rough numbers? Joey Tribbiani : This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas. Mr. Douglas : Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday. Chandler Bing : Uh, if you say so sir. Joey Tribbiani : Joseph's good, isn't he? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm going to kill you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers. Chandler Bing : Why? Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say. Richard Burke : Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too? Monica Geller : This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands. Richard Burke : You're strict. Monica Geller : It's for their own good. Richard Burke : You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time. Monica Geller : Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular? Richard Burke : If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle. Monica Geller : Very good. Richard Burke : Thank you. Monica Geller : You know what. Tomorrow I'm gonna do your clocks. Richard Burke : You're gonna do what to my clocks. Monica Geller : I'm gonna set them to my time. Richard Burke : Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time. Monica Geller : No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why? Richard Burke : Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen. Monica Geller : No forget it, I'm not gonna tell you now. Richard Burke : No come on. Come on tell me. Monica Geller : No. See you don't understand. Richard Burke : Come on. Monica Geller : No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things. Richard Burke : No that's not true. That is not true. Monica Geller : Oh yeah. Richard Burke : Yeah. Monica Geller : Alright, well tell me one of yours. Richard Burke : Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks. Monica Geller : What if they get mixed up? Richard Burke : Boy I would just uh, I would freak out. Monica Geller : You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing. Richard Burke : See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you. Chandler Bing : Why? Wh- wh- why is Mr. Douglas looking for me? Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project. Chandler Bing : Wha- wh- why, why, why does he suspect that? Joey Tribbiani : Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know. Chandler Bing : Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go. Joey Tribbiani : What're you talking about, everybody loves Joseph. Chandler Bing : I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department. Chandler Bing : Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife. Joey Tribbiani : Karen. Chandler Bing : Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man. Chandler Bing : Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Chandler Bing : No freakshow, she's fictional. Joey Tribbiani : Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else. Chandler Bing : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. Phoebe Buffay : Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch. Rachel Green : No sorry hon, Monica's orders. Ryan : Well that wasn't easy. Ross Geller : Ok, dinner's on. Rachel Green : And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you. Ross Geller : Alright you kids, bye now. Phoebe Buffay : Bye. Ross Geller : Oh look, a low budget puppet show. Phoebe Buffay : It's such a shame you can't see which finger I'm holding up. Ryan : Wine? Phoebe Buffay : Please. Ryan : Oh, I spilled some. Phoebe Buffay : I got it. Ryan : I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ryan : Sorry. You look beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : You know what, that's it, that's it. Richard Burke : Monica, wake up. Monica. Monica Geller : What's up? Richard Burke : I thought of a thing. Monica Geller : Yeah? Richard Burke : Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed. Monica Geller : No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed. Richard Burke : Or so I would have you believe. Monica Geller : No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed. Richard Burke : Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet. Monica Geller : Alright, go on. Richard Burke : Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side. Monica Geller : Oh my God, you're a freak. Richard Burke : Yeah. How 'bout that. Rachel Green : So uh, Ryan, were you shipping off to? Ryan : I really can't say. Ross Geller : So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board? Ryan : I can't say. Rachel Green : Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys. Ryan : I'm sorry, but I can't say. Ross Geller : Wow, it, it's neat learning about submarines. Ryan : I better get out of here, I'm gonna miss my flight. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I'll walk you out. Ross Geller : Bye Ryan. Ryan : Pleasure. Rachel Green : It was nice to meet you. Ryan : Take care. Rachel Green : So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things? Ross Geller : You like that do ya? Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Ross Geller : I'll make some calls. Rachel Green : Ok. Ryan : Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together? Phoebe Buffay : I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. Ryan : Taxi. Phoebe Buffay : Bye you. Rachel Green : Oh I'm sorry, we're clo-... Hey sailor. Ross Geller : Is this what you had in mind? Rachel Green : I'll say. Ross Geller : I'm shipping out tomorrow. Rachel Green : Well then uh, we better make this night count. Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light. Ross Geller : Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. Rachel Green : Hey Joey, how'd the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was. #ALL# : Who? Joey Tribbiani : All right. I'll give you one hint. Warren Beatty. #ALL# : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy. Chandler Bing : 'Cause he was just so darn cute. Joey Tribbiani : No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses. Ross Geller : Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. Or you just do it. Joey Tribbiani : I did do it, I'm a professional. Monica Geller : Then what's the problem? Joey Tribbiani : See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother. Phoebe Buffay : Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing Ooh. Chandler Bing : Hey, what did your agent say? Joey Tribbiani : Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me. Monica Geller : What, forget it! Rachel Green : Yeah, right. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, I need your help here. Phoebe Buffay : All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again. Joey Tribbiani : You see this, this is a friend. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, let's go. Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend. Joey Tribbiani : Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem? Monica Geller : Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that makes sense. Ross Geller : Over my dead body! Chandler Bing : And I'll be using his dead body as a shield. Ross Geller : Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you look so good! Rachel Green : I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous. Ross Geller : So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding. Rachel Green : Because I promised Mindy I would. Monica Geller : Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. Rachel Green : Look you guys, I have to go, I'm the Maid-of-Honor. And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh-oh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action? Chandler Bing : I may have. Monica Geller : Woo-hoo, stuud! Ross Geller : What's she look like? Chandler Bing : Well, we haven't exactly met, we just stayed up all night talking on the internet. Monica Geller : Woo-hoo, geeek! Chandler Bing : I like this girl, okay, I seriously like this girl, you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy... Ross Geller : Get out! Rachel Green : Nooo! Monica Geller : Please! Chandler Bing : Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did. Rachel Green : Wow! What's that like? Chandler Bing : It's like this, me, no jokes. Phoebe Buffay : All right, stop it, you're freaking me out. Richard Burke : Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later. #ALL# : Bye, Richard. Monica Geller : Bye sweetie, I love you. Richard Burke : I love you, too. Phoebe Buffay : I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy, I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? What wedding? Phoebe Buffay : Come on, like you never talk that. Monica Geller : Nooo! Never! I mean, we're living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?' Rachel Green : Afraid to ask him? Monica Geller : Could not be more terrified. Chandler Bing : Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum. Monica Geller : Where's Benny? There he is! Where's Benny, there he is. Richard Burke : Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out. Monica Geller : Hey, you know I got a question for ya. Just a little thing, no pressure. Richard Burke : Okay. Monica Geller : Did you ever, uh, like, think about the future? Richard Burke : Sure I do. Monica Geller : Yeah, am I in it? Richard Burke : Honey, you are in it. Monica Geller : Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky. Richard Burke : Oh, yeah! Monica Geller : Keep talkin'. Richard Burke : Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast. Monica Geller : Okay, so, uh, we're in France, we're making the toast. Do you see a little bassinet in the corner? Richard Burke : Like a hound? Monica Geller : Not a basset, a bassinet. Richard Burke : You really need the bassinet? Monica Geller : Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. Do you, uh, do you , do you not see kids in our future. Richard Burke : Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start. Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Richard Burke : Look I want you, now. Monica Geller : That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone. Chandler Bing : Joey, no means no! Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry we, we don't have your sheep. Joey Tribbiani : Aww, Rach, I think you look cute And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon . Ross Geller : Get away from me I said no! Monica Geller : Richard buzzed. He's waiting downstairs. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him #ALL# : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Bye, good luck. Phoebe Buffay : So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that . Chandler Bing : Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words. Phoebe Buffay : What does she mean by HH? Chandler Bing : It means we're holding hands. Phoebe Buffay : Are you the cutest? Chandler Bing : I'm afraid I might just be. Phoebe Buffay : You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy. Chandler Bing : Okay, it's not a guy, all right, I know her. Phoebe Buffay : It could be like a big giant guy. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I got this close to him and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men. Chandler Bing : How do you not fall down more? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, ask her 'What is her current method of birth control?' Chandler Bing : All right. "My husband is sleeping with his secretary." She's married! Phoebe Buffay : Well at least we know she's a woman. Chandler Bing : I can't believe she's married. Joey Tribbiani : Aw, man I'm sorry . This must be very tough for ya, huh . Monica Geller : So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them. Richard Burke : Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars. See, we're having fun. Monica Geller : Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about. Richard Burke : Neither am I. Ross Geller : Hey, there. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Are you all right? Rachel Green : Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time. Ross Geller : Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride. Rachel Green : God I know, you're right. Wedding Planner : All rightie, everybody look at me. Good. All right, its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines, thank you. Rachel Green : Okay, I'll see you after the thing. Ross Geller : Okay, good luck Rachel Green : Thank you, Okay, Okay. Rachel Green : Why the hell didn't you tell me! Ross Geller : I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!' Rachel Green : Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes. Ross Geller : Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you. Mr. Wineburg : Rachel! Rachel Green : Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg. Mr. Wineburg : It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much. Mrs. Wineburg : You told me you didn't see anything. Mr. Wineburg : I tell ya a lot things! Mrs. Wineburg : Well it's wonderful to have you up and about, again, dear. Mr. Wineburg : Stay well. Rachel Green : Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today. Mindy Hunter : Rach! Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Mindy Hunter : Oh my God, I'm married! Rachel Green : I know. Mindy Hunter : I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber. Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'm so proud of you, Min. Barry Farber : Min. Oh Rach, you're still here, at our wedding, they were packing up the chopped liver about now. Rachel Green : Yeah, I love that story. Um, I got a question for you guys. Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about? Mindy Hunter : Well uh, after you ran out on your wedding, Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane. Rachel Green : Insane! Mindy Hunter : ...from the syphilis. Rachel Green : What?! Barry Farber : Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on. Joey Tribbiani : Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. She wants to know what's wrong? Chandler Bing : What's wrong? What's wrong? You're married that's what's wrong. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my. Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : She wants to meet you in person. Chandler Bing : Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband. Phoebe Buffay : What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip. Chandler Bing : Okay, I'll do it! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. Monica Geller : Okay, one more, please. Come on, I'm gonna get it in this time, I will. Richard Burke : Okay, last chance. Again, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I... I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do. Best Man : Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel... #ALL# : What?! Best Man : What, you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel... Rachel Green : What. Best Man : No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! Ross Geller : Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that... Rachel Green : Why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding? Ross Geller : Most of you don't know me, I'm Rachel's boyfriend. Rachel Green : Oh dear God. Ross Geller : Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me Cheers. Rachel Green : She you in the parking lot. Ross Geller : No, Rach! Barry Farber : And once again she is out of here. Okay who had 9:45? Um? Rachel Green : Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings . See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well , I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except.... "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers , feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..." Ross Geller : Marenge, Rachel Green : "...marenge, thank you honey, and do the cha-cha. And while she like to be a star, Tony always tended bar. At the, wait, wait, everybody.." Ross Geller : Everybody! Rachel Green : At the Copa, Copa Cabana The hottest spot north of Havana. At the Copa, Coo-pa Ca-ban-a, music and fashion were always the passion, at the Copa.... Richard Burke : Okay, I'll do it. Monica Geller : You'll do what? Richard Burke : If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Richard Burke : If I have to I'll, I'll do all again , I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team. Monica Geller : Really? Richard Burke : Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will. Monica Geller : You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.' Richard Burke : But you're not. Monica Geller : Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one. Richard Burke : God. I love you. Monica Geller : I know you do. Me too. So what now? Richard Burke : I guess we just keep dancing. Chandler Bing : Where is she, Where is she? Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she? Rachel Green : Chandler, relax, Chandler, she'll be here. Chandler Bing : Ooh, oh, oh, that's her. Ross Geller : Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to... Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Janice Litman Goralnik : OH.....MY.....GAWD!! #ALL# : OH.....MY.....GOD!! Ross Geller : All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes . Joey Tribbiani : Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl. Joey Tribbiani : I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me. #ALL# : Did not, she did not wink at you.... Chandler Bing : Huh. Ross Geller : I have to say Tupolo Honey by Van Morrison. Rachel Green : Nooo Way! The most romantic song ever is The Way We Were. Phoebe Buffay : See, I-I think that one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's The Boss. Rachel Green : What song was that, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Hold me close, young Tony Dan-za. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Monica! Ross Geller : Hey Mon! Rachel Green : Hey Mon! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, has she slept at all? Ross Geller : Nope. Rachel Green : No, it's been three nights in a row. Ross Geller : Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call. Chandler Bing : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Morning, hey, you made pancakes? Chandler Bing : Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that. Janice Litman Goralnik : Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. Good morning Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Good morning. Chandler Bing : Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer. Chandler Bing : I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up. Janice Litman Goralnik : I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss. Chandler Bing : Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay. Joey Tribbiani : Kiss her! Kiss her! Janice Litman Goralnik : I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey. Joey Tribbiani : B-bye Janice. So when ya' dumpin' her. Chandler Bing : Nope, not this time. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, quite yankin' me. Chandler Bing : I'm not yanking you. Joey Tribbiani : This is Janice. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know. She makes me happy. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking. Chandler Bing : I'm not breaking up with her! Monica Geller : God, look what I found in the drain. Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : It's some of Richard's hair! What do I do with this? Ross Geller : Getting it away from me would be job one. Monica Geller : It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. Monica Geller : God, what is wrong with me. Ross Geller : You need to get some sleep. Monica Geller : I need to get some Richard. Rachel Green : Monica, you broke up with him for a reason. Monica Geller : I know, I know. I'm just so tired of-of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called! Phoebe Buffay : Maybe, because you told him not to. Monica Geller : What are you the memory woman? Joey Tribbiani : Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything. Rachel Green : Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute. Joey Tribbiani : Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice? Rachel Green : Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do? Joey Tribbiani : There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross? Ross Geller : Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right? Rachel Green : Honey, I was wondering.... Ross Geller : Hmm? Rachel Green : Do you still have that, um, Navy uniform? Ross Geller : Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place. Rachel Green : Hmm. Ross Geller : I think I have an old band uniform from high school. Rachel Green : You remember not having sex in high school, right? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well honey, what about you? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I mean do you have any fun, you know, fantasy type things? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Come on you gotta have one! Ross Geller : Nope. Rachel Green : Ross, you know what... Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : ...if you tell me, I might do it. Ross Geller : Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia. Rachel Green : Oooh! Ross Geller : Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, oh, Princess Leia and the gold bikini, every guy our age loved that. Rachel Green : Really! Phoebe Buffay : Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know. Rachel Green : Did you ever do the-the Leia thing? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, um-mm. Oh! Rachel Green : Really! That-that great huh? Phoebe Buffay : No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi you guys! Ross Geller : Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter. Rachel Green : Mon. Hi! Monica Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Why aren't you at work? Monica Geller : Oh, they-they sent me home. Rachel Green : Why? Monica Geller : Because I don't work at the Szechwan Dragon. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : You really, really need to get some sleep, honey. Monica Geller : I know I do. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Guess what? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : They published my paper. Rachel Green : Oh, really, let me see, let me see. Phoebe Buffay : Rach, look! Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. There he is. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Wheel! Chandler Bing : Of! Joey Tribbiani : Fortune! This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore!! Chandler Bing : You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say? Joey Tribbiani : I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to? Chandler Bing : No, Janice. Joey Tribbiani : Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers. Chandler Bing : You know, I may be way out on a limb here, but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice? Joey Tribbiani : No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. . Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair ? Chandler Bing : Ooh, that girl that I hate, eww, drives me crazy, eww, eww, oh! Joey Tribbiani : Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know. Chandler Bing : Well, there you go. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! Don't worry, those are the right letters. Joey Tribbiani : Look, what do you want me to say? Chandler Bing : I want you to say that you like her! Joey Tribbiani : I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her. Chandler Bing : Thanks for trying. Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, then-then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? Ross Geller : How could you have told her? Rachel Green : Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal. Ross Geller : Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal. Rachel Green : Okay, who are you talking to when you do that? Ross Geller : Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us. Rachel Green : Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff. Ross Geller : That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'. Rachel Green : Were both of those Joey? Ross Geller : Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her. Rachel Green : Not even with your best friend. Ross Geller : Noo! Rachel Green : That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are. Ross Geller : Hmph. So what you, you tell each other everything? Rachel Green : Pretty much. Ross Geller : Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times? Rachel Green : Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol. Ross Geller : I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think. Phoebe Buffay : Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place. Monica Geller : Richard's living room, drinking wine. Phoebe Buffay : All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out! Monica Geller : I'm sorry, but that's my happy place. Phoebe Buffay : Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything. Monica Geller : All right, I'll try not to. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, all right, so, your in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky.... Monica Geller : Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake? Phoebe Buffay : All right, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees.... Monica Geller : I'll bet he's totally over me, I'll bet he's fine. Phoebe Buffay : All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook.... Monica Geller : Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee. Janice Litman Goralnik : So, I hear, you hate me! Joey Tribbiani : I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that. Janice Litman Goralnik : A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me. Joey Tribbiani : And you got a 'hate' from that?! Your taking a big leap there... Janice Litman Goralnik : All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, We've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea you and me spending some quality time together. Joey Tribbiani : But what does that gonna do... Janice Litman Goralnik : For Chandler! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I'm in. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!' Joey Tribbiani : Does it have to be a whole day? Janice Litman Goralnik : Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room. Monica Geller : So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, do you want us to take you home? Monica Geller : Uh, huh. Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. Ross Geller : Women tell each other everything. Did you know that? Chandler Bing : Umm, yeah. Ross Geller : No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth.... Chandler Bing : Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this? Ross Geller : Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna? Chandler Bing : We're not gonna talk about girth are we? Ross Geller : Nooo! Chandler Bing : Yeah, okay. Ross Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Yeah! All right! You go first. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, I'll go first. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing.... Chandler Bing : Princess Leia in the gold bikini. Ross Geller : Yes! Chandler Bing : I know! Ross Geller : Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Okay, you-you go. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman. Ross Geller : Hmph. Chandler Bing : And, ah, you know, your fooling around with her. And you get all these like, mental images in your brain, you know, like Elle MacPherson, or that girl at the Xerox place.... Ross Geller : With the belly-button ring? Oh, muhawa! Chandler Bing : I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know.... You don't know! Ross Geller : Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you? Chandler Bing : You said... Ross Geller : I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there! . Janice Litman Goralnik : We're baack! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : What are you guys doing together? Janice Litman Goralnik : Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! Chandler Bing : Really. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy. Janice Litman Goralnik : I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. Chandler Bing : You still can't stand her can you? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did. Chandler Bing : Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot. Joey Tribbiani : But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium. Chandler Bing : Well, I guess that's something. Joey Tribbiani : No man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross. Chandler Bing : Oh God! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too. Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex. Monica Geller : Hi, Dad, what are you doing here? Jack Geller : Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. Since when did you start smoking cigars? Monica Geller : I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad? Jack Geller : Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Monica Geller : What makes you think that I might not be okay? Jack Geller : I saw Richard. Monica Geller : Oh. Jack Geller : So, how are you doing? Monica Geller : I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing? Jack Geller : You don't wanna know. Monica Geller : No, I really, really do. Jack Geller : Well, he's doing terrible! Monica Geller : Really! Jack Geller : Worse than when he broke up with Barbara. Monica Geller : You're not just saying that are you? Jack Geller : No, the man is a mess. Monica Geller : Was he crying? Jack Geller : No. Monica Geller : Well, do you think he was waiting 'til after you left, so he could cry? Jack Geller : Maybe. Monica Geller : I think so. Jack Geller : Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, Rachel Green : Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What? Ross Geller : No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's Judy Geller : Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here. Ross Geller : I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. Joey Tribbiani : All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. Chandler Bing : Taste it. Joey Tribbiani : Yep, it's fat. I drank fat! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, mister tux! Ross Geller : Why aren't you guys dressed? Joey Tribbiani : We have a half hour. Ross Geller : No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight. Joey Tribbiani : Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed. Ross Geller : Well, you know, I'd feel a whole lot better if you got dressed now. Chandler Bing : Okay. Rachel Green : Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy. Ross Geller : Really. Rachel Green : Ooooh! Wow!! Oh, hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : How come you didn't come over earlier? Ross Geller : 'Cause, I'm a stupid, stupid man. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Ross, want some cider? Ross Geller : No. So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done. Rachel Green : Yeah, I just have to get dressed. Ross Geller : Yay! And that takes what? Just six or seven minutes. Rachel Green : Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing. Joey Tribbiani : Glass of fat? Joey Tribbiani : What's a matter Ross? What you're nervous about your speech? Ross Geller : No! Do you wanna hear it? Joey Tribbiani : Am I in it? Ross Geller : Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Ross Geller : Wow, hello! You look great! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! I know, though. Ross Geller : You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, well, you're my lucky penny. Chandler Bing : All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. Get up. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : You're in my seat. Joey Tribbiani : How is this your seat? Chandler Bing : 'Cause I was sitting there. Joey Tribbiani : But then you left. Chandler Bing : Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back. Joey Tribbiani : What's the big deal, sit somewhere else. Chandler Bing : The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat. Joey Tribbiani : Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there . Soo... Ross Geller : You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So.. Chandler Bing : All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. GET UP!! Monica Geller : Hi. #ALL# : Hey. Monica Geller : Ooh, Phoebe, you look great! Phoebe Buffay : All right all ready. Monica Geller : Ooh, are you gonna do magic? Ross Geller : That's, that's funny. Change! Monica Geller : Hang on a second I just got in. Ross Geller : Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late. Phoebe Buffay : We could not, would not want to wait. Ross Geller : Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts. Monica Geller : Has somebody been drinking my fat? Rachel Green : You guys, does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, you might be the first one. Monica Geller : Rach, did you check the machine? Rachel Green : Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind. Chandler Bing : Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called Get Up. Joey Tribbiani : All right! You can have the chair. Chandler Bing : Really! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my, would you look at that! Phoebe Buffay : "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" Is that too spooky? Ross Geller : "Hi Rach, are you there? It's me, pick up. Rachel. Rach!" Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Nevermind. Richard Burke : "Monica, it's Richard. Call me." Monica Geller : Is-is-is that message old or new? Old or new?! Old or new?! Ross Geller : It's old, it's definitely old. Didn't you hear the, the double beep? Monica Geller : What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back? Chandler Bing : Honey, you did call him back. 'Cause, it's, it's really old. Ross Geller : Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did? Monica Geller : Huh? Ross Geller : I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. There we go, there we go. Chandler Bing : You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Phoebe Buffay : Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys! Chandler Bing : Sorry Phoebe. Joey Tribbiani : I'm so sorry. Phoebe Buffay : What am I gonna do? Ross Geller : No, no, don't, don't, rub it! Don't! What gets out hummus?! What gets out hummus?! Phoebe Buffay : Monica, Monica, you know what gets out hummus. Monica Geller : If it is a new message, what is he calling to say? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that. Chandler Bing : Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy. Monica Geller : So, should I call him back? The Guys : Noo! NO! Chandler Bing : All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. I'm soooo, comfortable. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable. Chandler Bing : All right! Ross Geller : Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay. Chandler Bing : All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! Rachel Green : Is this a little too... Pheebs, what happened? Phoebe Buffay : Hummus. I got the hummus. Rachel Green : Ooooh! Honey, well we'll find you something. Do you wanna wear my black jacket? Phoebe Buffay : That won't go with this dress though. Rachel Green : No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on. Ross Geller : No, no, no, no, no, no, not out of that, not out of clothes. Rachel Green : Monica, can Phoebe borrow your green dress? Monica Geller : I called him. #ALL# : Nooo. Monica Geller : Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message. It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy? Phoebe Buffay : Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in such a breezy place. Monica Geller : Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, how are you gonna do that? Monica Geller : I know the code to his answering machine. Ross Geller : Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing. Richard Burke : "Hi, this is Richard. Please, leave a message at the tone." Machine : "You have two new messages." Joey Tribbiani : Wow, what a cool job. 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.' Monica Geller : "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy." Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy. Woman's Voice : Hola, it's me, yesterday was really fun. Call me about this weekend, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Now she sounded breezy. Monica Geller : He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, you don't know that. Monica Geller : Well, who's voice was that? Chandler Bing : Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's. Monica Geller : Michelle! Of course, it was Michelle! Did it sound like Michelle? Ross Geller : Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab. Monica Geller : It was Michelle. It was definitely Michelle. Rachel Green : Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?! Ross Geller : You don't, you don't know what your wearing? Rachel Green : Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night. Ross Geller : Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you. Chandler Bing : All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!" Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions. Chandler Bing : The cushions are the essence of the chair! Joey Tribbiani : That's right! I'm taking the essence. Chandler Bing : Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room. Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty. Rachel Green : Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep. Ross Geller : Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep. Rachel Green : Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Rach, good, listen isn't this perfect for me! Rachel Green : Oh, it's perfect! But not for tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi! Ross Geller : Not for tonight. Not for tonight! Wh-what, what, what, are you doing? Rachel Green : No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you. Chandler Bing : We used them as pillows when we went camping. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : The sheep. Ross Geller : Hey, what you do on your own time... Joey Tribbiani : Where's my underwear?! Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, come on, what. You took his underwear? Chandler Bing : He took my essence! Ross Geller : Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now? Joey Tribbiani : Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now. Ross Geller : Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight? Joey Tribbiani : It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues. Chandler Bing : Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you. Chandler Bing : What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, opposite, is opposite! Chandler Bing : He's got nothing! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm ready. Chandler Bing : Oh, aaaah! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.' Chandler Bing : What are you supporting? Phoebe Buffay : Duh!! Christmas! Ross Geller : Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!! Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should I wear? The black or the purple? Ross Geller : Just, just, just pick one! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys? Rachel Green : Yeahh, but, but those really go better with pants. Maybe I should wear pants? Ross Geller : Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay. Rachel Green : But I... Ross Geller : No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go. Rachel Green : All right. Ross Geller : Thank you! Monica Geller : Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to. Ross Geller : It was, it was her voice. Chandler Bing : Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place. Michelle Burke : Hola! Hello. Hello? Monica Geller : Okay. That was her right? Phoebe Buffay : Definitely. Monica Geller : See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now. Ross Geller : Yay! Phoebe Buffay : I'll get it, okay. Hi, Monica and Rachel's. Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that. Monica Geller : Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that.... Chandler Bing : You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about? Monica Geller : Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back. Ross Geller : No, no, no, no. Tick, tick, tick, tick. Monica Geller : Okay, fine. Chandler Bing : They got a phone in there, right? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we're on it. We're on it. Ross Geller : Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um. Rachel Green : I'm not gonna gooo. Ross Geller : You're not going to go. Rachel Green : No, I think I'm gonna catch up on my correspondence. Ross Geller : How, how, um how can you not be going? Rachel Green : I'm not gonna gooo, so I think that will accomplish the not going. Ross Geller : Um, you know, just out of curiosity... Rachel Green : Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood. Ross Geller : Right. Right, okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled. Rachel Green : It's fine. Ross Geller : No, but, your-your mad. Rachel Green : I'm not mad. Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : I'm just not going. Ross Geller : Your not going. Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : Okay. You know that I-I have to go. Rachel Green : Um, hum. Ross Geller : Right. So is it gonna be like 'I'm abandoning you while your upset.' Rachel Green : No. Ross Geller : No, because your not upset. Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : About the yelling. Rachel Green : Right, and the humiliating. Ross Geller : Oh, well of course, the humiliating. So, so wee, we're okay. Rachel Green : Um, hum. Ross Geller : We're good. Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : Okay. Honey? Rachel Green : Yes, Ross. Ross Geller : I love you. Phoebe Buffay : Get away from that! No! She's just getting dressed. Chandler Bing : Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!! Joey Tribbiani : Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando... Chandler Bing : Oooo-ooh! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. Ross Geller : Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party! Chandler Bing : Jeez, what a baby. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Ross, way to ruin it. I was just going to get dressed. Ross Geller : You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there. Joey Tribbiani : You could drink the fat. Ross Geller : Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation. Rachel Green : No, no, no, now wait, wa, wa, waa-it a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That actually, uh, that sounds interesting. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I think you should drink the fat. Joey Tribbiani : Yaaaay! Ross Geller : Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait, let me get you another glass. That's been sitting out. Ross Geller : I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. Rachel Green : No, no, no, wait! Okay, okay. Don't! I'll go, I'll go! Ross Geller : You will?! Rachel Green : You were really gonna do that, weren't you? Ross Geller : Well, yeah. Rachel Green : You were gonna drink the fat. Joey Tribbiani : Let's see what else he'll do! Ross Geller : How 'bout instead you, go get changed! You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica! Chandler Bing : Stop it. Stop it! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no! Richard Burke : Hi, this is Richard. Machine : You have three new messages. Monica Geller : Not any more! Machine : Message erased. To record a message begin speaking at the tone. Monica Geller : Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye. Machine : Your outgoing message has now been changed. Monica Geller : Outgoing! Did that say outgoing?! Not, outgoing!!! Monica Geller : "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!! Phoebe Buffay : How did you do that? Monica Geller : I don't know! Machine : Good-bye. Monica Geller : Noooo!!!! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, okay, I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go! Monica Geller : Maybe we could call the phone company. Maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, after this, I think he'll be doing that himself. Ross Geller : Rachel!! Wow! You, uh, you look, wow! Rachel Green : And I still have about five seconds to spare. Okay, that was about seven seconds. Ross Geller : So we're a little late. Rachel Green : Come on. Oh! And, uh, by the way.... Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I'm going commando, too. Ross Geller : Awwww!!! Sherman Whitfield : Dr. Geller, Sherman Whitfield, London Institute. Ross Geller : Wow! What a pleasure. Sherman Whitfield : Well, I have to tell you, I was quite impressed with your paper on Pre-Cretaceous fossils. Yeah, it confirmed everything that I have written. Chandler Bing : Excuse me. Hi. Sherman Whitfield : Yes? Chandler Bing : Well, your kind of sitting in my seat. Sherman Whitfield : What do you mean, your seat? Chandler Bing : I mean, I was sitting there. Sherman Whitfield : But, you got up! Chandler Bing : But, I never left the room! Sherman Whitfield : But, you left the chair area. Chandler Bing : All right, that's it, give me your underwear. Joey Tribbiani : WHOAA!! Chandler Bing : See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed. Monica Geller : Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning. Ross Geller : Where'd you get fruit at four in the morning? Monica Geller : Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale. Rachel Green : I didn't know there were docks. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Aww, is it broken? Joey Tribbiani : No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. Rachel Green : Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed? Joey Tribbiani : Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket. Joey Tribbiani : What is this? Fruit? Rachel Green : Monica's making jam. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, jam! I love jam! Hey, how come we never have jam at our place? Chandler Bing : Because the kids need new shoes. Monica Geller : I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. Joey Tribbiani : This will just be my batch. Phoebe Buffay : Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you. Guy : You wouldn't return my calls, you sent back my letters.... Phoebe Buffay : What? Guy : One more chance Ursula, please? Phoebe Buffay : Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward. Guy : Wh.. Phoebe Buffay : Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously. Guy : Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're not a dingus. Guy : I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay. Guy : Well thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying? Guy : Not really. Phoebe Buffay : Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay. Guy : Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee? Guy : Yeah, okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more. Guy : Sorry. Rachel Green : Mon? Ross Geller : Mon? Rachel Green : 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.' Ross Geller : Wait a minute, look. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Look, look, look. Rachel Green : What, what, what? Ross Geller : It's an empty apartment. Rachel Green : Oooh. Ross Geller : We're all alone in an empty apartment. Rachel Green : Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. Ross Geller : There it is. Rachel Green : Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Do I look fat? Rachel Green : Noo. Chandler Bing : Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow. Rachel Green : Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it. Chandler Bing : Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her.... Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter? Rachel Green : Nooo! Ross Geller : And it works both ways. Chandler Bing : Okay, so you both just know this stuff? Rachel Green : Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on. Ross Geller : Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do? Chandler Bing : That's easy, baggage claim. Ross Geller : Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her. Chandler Bing : Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something. Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. Okay, I'm late for work. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : All right are you guys gonna come down? Ross Geller : Uh, yeah, yeah I'll, I'm right behind you. Rachel Green : Good luck Chandler. Chandler Bing : Thank you Rachel. Ross Geller : Bye sweetie. Rachel Green : Bye hon. Ross Geller : Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do. Chandler Bing : Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers. Ross Geller : Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. Okay, you're in bed... Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : I'm gonna use the cushion. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you. Chandler Bing : Okay, the old hug and roll. Ross Geller : Yep. Chandler Bing : Okay, one question. Ross Geller : Shoot. Chandler Bing : You're pretending the pillow's a girl right? Joey Tribbiani : Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon? Rachel Green : You're so pretty. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! #ALL# : Hey, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today. Joey Tribbiani : You talked to him. Are you crazy? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order. Chandler Bing : Umm, not feeling better 'bout Malcom. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute. Ross Geller : Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker. Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather. Monica Geller : Hey guys. #ALL# : Hey Mon. Monica Geller : Joey, this is for you. It's blackberry curin. Joey Tribbiani : Aww. Ohh! Chandler Bing : Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked , or, or a big tub of jam. Joey Tribbiani : Put your hands together. Monica Geller : Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch. Joey Tribbiani : No more jam?! Rachel Green : Well, what happened to your jam plan? Monica Geller : I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies. Chandler Bing : Well, your gonna need much bigger jars. Ross Geller : What are you talking about? Monica Geller : I'm talking about me having a baby. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Are you serious? Monica Geller : Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan. Ross Geller : Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad! Monica Geller : It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid. Chandler Bing : That, that's what's stupid. Monica Geller : I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff. Rachel Green : Down at the docks again? Janice Litman Goralnik : Night-night Bing-a-ling. Chandler Bing : Night-night.....Janice. 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' Malcom : Here's my binoculars. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going. Malcom : These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. What's this? Malcom : Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it? Phoebe Buffay : Um, not even a little bit. Malcom : It's about you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay then. Malcom : I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool. Phoebe Buffay : Good. So what were you thinking? Malcom : I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Malcom : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Malcom : See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Chandler Bing : No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard. Monica Geller : Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis. Chandler Bing : You mean there's more than one of us. Ross Geller : Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna..... Monica Geller : You're gonna what? Ross Geller : I'm gonna tell Mom. Rachel Green : Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy. Ross Geller : Crazy. Monica Geller : What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something.... Ross Geller : Oh, it's not the ideal way... Monica Geller : Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know? Joey Tribbiani : Check it out!! Jam crackers! Monica Geller : Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. Oh my God, under personal comments 'New York Knicks, rule!' Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the Knicks rule! Monica Geller : Joey, this is you! Joey Tribbiani : Let me see. Oh, right. Rachel Green : When did you go to a sperm bank? Joey Tribbiani : Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday? Chandler Bing : And that's how you bought it? Joey Tribbiani : Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left. Monica Geller : Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little. Phoebe Buffay : Hellooo! #ALL# : Hey. Ross Geller : How's the maniac? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'. Rachel Green : Phoebe, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me. Rachel Green : Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that. Phoebe Buffay : Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything. Ross Geller : You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles? Phoebe Buffay : What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her? Chandler Bing : Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order. Phoebe Buffay : What are you saying I should do? Monica Geller : I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you, Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes. Monica Geller : Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine. Rachel Green : Oh my God, what happened? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed! Rachel Green : Wow! Spinning that sounds like fun. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing. Rachel Green : Ross's what? Janice Litman Goralnik : You know what, where he hugs you and kinda rolls you away and... Oh... my....God. Malcom : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yes? Yes! Oh. Malcom : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. Malcom : Were you following me? Phoebe Buffay : Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister. Malcom : So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train? Malcom : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch. Malcom : Uh-huh, I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go? Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Where you going? Monica Geller : To the bank. Joey Tribbiani : Sperm or regular? Monica Geller : Sperm. Joey Tribbiani : So you're really doing this, huh? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135. Joey Tribbiani : Sounds nice. Monica Geller : 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes... Joey Tribbiani : No kiddin', hmm. Monica Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy. Monica Geller : Really? Why? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt. Monica Geller : Hoyt? Joey Tribbiani : It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool. Monica Geller : Really, is he a swimmer? Joey Tribbiani : He's got the body for it. Monica Geller : I like that. What? Joey Tribbiani : You guys have one of those signs that says 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know. Monica Geller : We do not have one of those signs. Joey Tribbiani : Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids. Monica Geller : Two girls and a boy? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Monica Geller : And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them. Joey Tribbiani : Sure! But hey, you know this way sounds good too. Monica Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh Monica. Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, for like a day. . Joey Tribbiani : I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it Maybe if they met me in person. Rachel Green : Honey, you got a little thing on your... Joey Tribbiani : Did I get it? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Hello. Rachel Green : Hello. Ross Geller : Hey. Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second? Chandler Bing : Sure. What's up? Ross Geller : Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! Host : Welcome everybody, welcome to Amazing Discoveries! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, oh! It's on again! Joey Tribbiani : You guys, can we please not watch this all right. #ALL# : Shhhh! Host : Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you said it Mike. Aw! There's got to be a better way! Mike : And there is Kevin. Joey Tribbiani : Can we please turn this off? Rachel Green : Noo way, Kevin. Mike : There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000. Ross Geller : Are you intrigued? Chandler Bing : You're flingin'-flangin' right I am! Mike : Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead. This works with any milk carton. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, it is easy. Now, I can have milk everyday. Chandler Bing : Well, it's official there are no good movies. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. Monica Geller : Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, so that you can bunny bump against my back. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey, man. What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?! Chandler Bing : Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! Okay, it was me! Joey Tribbiani : How is it you? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. Joey Tribbiani : Yep, that's my audition. Monica Geller : See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere. Phoebe Buffay : Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play. Janice Litman Goralnik : What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment. Joey Tribbiani : Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance. Phoebe Buffay : That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents. Phoebe Buffay : What a sad little life she must lead. Okay, ooh . Joey Tribbiani : What, what are you doing? What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.' Joey Tribbiani : Hang up, hang up. Phoebe Buffay : 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.' Chandler Bing : Is anybody else scared? Phoebe Buffay : 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' I need a pen. Chandler Bing : Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad! Monica Geller : Oh, now you want a pad. Carol Willick : Hey!! Ross Geller : There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbi What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbi? Carol Willick : He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it. Susan Bunch : He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret. Ross Geller : Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again? Susan Bunch : So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business. Carol Willick : This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it? Ross Geller : You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I. Ross Geller : Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? Rachel Green : Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? Monica Geller : I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob? Joey Tribbiani : I love that movie. Monica Geller : There it is. Joey, what are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, it just felt nice. Chandler Bing : Joe. Joe! Answer the phone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater. Chandler Bing : Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight. Rachel Green : What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice? Chandler Bing : Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes. Ross Geller : And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata? Chandler Bing : Noo. Ross Geller : You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you. Chandler Bing : No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!' Rachel Green : Men are unbelievable. Monica Geller : What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away? Chandler Bing : I know, that, that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid. Monica Geller : Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know about that?! Chandler Bing : Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side! Ross Geller : Where there is no fear of commitment. Chandler Bing : Do we have any... Do we have any thoughts here? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was. Rachel Green : Amazingly, that makes sense. Chandler Bing : You think? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind! Chandler Bing : Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again? Rachel Green : Sure Pheebs, you know, that's what it's there for, emergencies and pretend agents. Joey Tribbiani : Come on baby, come on! Phoebe Buffay : 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.' Rachel Green : Very nice touch. Phoebe Buffay : 'Okay, go ahead.' Um, hi Annie. Fantastic! You got it. Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next.... Op, went through a tunnel. Rachel Green : Unbelievable. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you so much. Phoebe Buffay : It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before. Joey Tribbiani : You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two. Phoebe Buffay : Two? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'll do it, but just these three, right Joey Tribbiani : Nooo, four. Janice Litman Goralnik : So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight? Chandler Bing : 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ohhh, are you a puppy! Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper. Chandler Bing : Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, you didn't have to do this. Chandler Bing : Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer. Chandler Bing : Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip. Janice Litman Goralnik : We should? Chandler Bing : Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents! Janice Litman Goralnik : I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay? Chandler Bing : I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay. Janice Litman Goralnik : You probably want us to move in together? Chandler Bing : It doesn't scare me! Janice Litman Goralnik : Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um... Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. Rachel Green : Honey, this will help. Chandler Bing : So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down. Monica Geller : Uff. Monica Geller : That is never good. Chandler Bing : Then I got all needy and clingy. Rachel Green : Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it? Chandler Bing : She said she'd call me. Monica Geller : Ohh! Chandler Bing : Oh God. Monica Geller : Welcome to our side of the tunnel. Chandler Bing : This ice cream tastes like crap by the way. Rachel Green : Yeah, well that's that lo-cal, non dairy, soy milk junk. We sort of, we save the real stuff for those really terminal cases. Monica Geller : You know, when you start get screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat. Rachel Green : Yeah, you do. Chandler Bing : So, you don't think I'm terminal? Monica Geller : Well, no, not at all, you're not terminal, you just, you just need some damage control. Chandler Bing : Okay, okay. So, should I call her? Monica Geller : Nooo! Rachel Green : This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof. Monica Geller : She has to know that your not ready. Rachel Green : Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof. Chandler Bing : So I'm not, not gonna lose her? Rachel Green : Oooh, honey, you're not a total loser. Chandler Bing : I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?' Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Guess who's here. It's the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. 'A real American hero. I'm G.I. Joe!' Drop the Barbi, drop the Barbi. Rachel Green : G.I. Joe? Do you really think he's gonna fall for that? Joey Tribbiani : G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play? Ross Geller : Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas! Joey Tribbiani : Go Joe!!! Phoebe Buffay : Helloo! Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! There you are! Phoebe Buffay : No it's not, sorry. Joey Tribbiani : But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants. Joey Tribbiani : Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it. Phoebe Buffay : Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : It's okay, these things happen. Phoebe Buffay : But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that. Joey Tribbiani : I'm, I'm okay. See. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit. Joey Tribbiani : No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally. Phoebe Buffay : Not personal, really, well they said that they never met an Italian actor with a worse Italian accent. Joey Tribbiani : They actually said that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. I canna work on a new accent. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah okay, no if it helps you okay. Yeah. Ross Geller : You'll never get me, Joe!!! Janice Litman Goralnik : No, thank you. Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hello, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : What are you doing here? Chandler Bing : Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been? Janice Litman Goralnik : Are you being British?! Chandler Bing : No. Not anymore. Janice Litman Goralnik : Why are you shopping here? You don't live in this neighborhood. Were you here waiting for me? Chandler Bing : Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. Janice Litman Goralnik : Barley? What kind of party serves barley? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours. Janice Litman Goralnik : Where is this party? Chandler Bing : Here in Chelsea. Janice Litman Goralnik : Who's party is it? Chandler Bing : A woman's Janice Litman Goralnik : What woman?! Chandler Bing : Chelsea. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? Chandler Bing : Can I be that guy? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, shoot. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, um, oh, the zoo commercial. Joey Tribbiani : I didn't get it? Phoebe Buffay : No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, what else? Phoebe Buffay : Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were pretty but dumb.' Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no wait, I'm sorry, that's 'pretty dumb.' Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no, I understand. Joey Tribbiani : You do, thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you caught me. I am so busted. Joey Tribbiani : That's-ah what I suspected-ah. Chandler Bing : ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store. Monica Geller : My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'. Chandler Bing : I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right? Rachel Green : Yeah, it is. Monica Geller : You know what, everything's gonna be okay. Chandler Bing : Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. Okay, what do I do? Rachel Green : Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented. Monica Geller : If-if-if we ever did what you did a man would never call. Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Hello! Monica Geller : Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy. Rachel Green : Yes, and grumpy. Chandler Bing : What are you, stop naming dwarves! Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. Really?! Really?! Rachel Green : He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now. Chandler Bing : I love you too. Monica Geller : Aw, it's soo unfair. Carol Willick : G. I. Joe. G. I. Joe?! Ross Geller : Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose. Susan Bunch : What'd you do, dip it in sugar? Ross Geller : Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.' Monica Geller : What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time. Ross Geller : What are you talking about? Monica Geller : The big hat, the pearls, the little pick handbag. Ross Geller : Okay, you are totally making this up. Monica Geller : How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea. Ross Geller : Oh God. Susan Bunch : I've literally never been this happy. Monica Geller : Wasn't there a little song? Carol Willick : Oh please God, let there be a song. Ross Geller : There was no song. There was no song! Monica Geller : 'I am Bea.' Ross Geller : Okay. Monica Geller : 'I drink tea.' Ross Geller : Okay, that's, that's enough. Monica Geller : '....Won't you, won't you, won't you.... ' Ross Geller : Won't you dance around with me. Monica Geller : A-ha!!! Ross Geller : 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' Ohhh! Monica Geller : Ross!!! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off? Joey Tribbiani : No. Y'know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step. Chandler Bing : You're building a post office? Joey Tribbiani : No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. It's a one day job, max. Chandler Bing : Okay. My word! Those are snug. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valente's. Joey Tribbiani : Power saw kinda got away from me there. Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Any sign of your brother? Phoebe Buffay : No, but he's always late. Rachel Green : I thought you only met him once? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, 'Frank's always late.' Rachel Green : Well relax, he'll be here. Phoebe Buffay : No, I know, I'm just nervous. Y'know it's just y'know Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister, Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately. It's like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. You're so sweet to wait with me. Rachel Green : Well, actually Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here, it's a thing. Chandler Bing : Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute? Monica Geller : No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox. Chandler Bing : All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list. Joey Tribbiani : Her what? Chandler Bing : Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can't get mad. Ross Geller : Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities. Monica Geller : So, Chandler, who's on your list? Chandler Bing : Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit. Rachel Green : Now, you do realize that she's a cartoon, and way out of your league? Chandler Bing : I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, who would yours be? Monica Geller : First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list. Joey Tribbiani : It's just a game Mon. Rach, how about you? Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know, I guess, Chris O'Donnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson. Ross Geller : Spiderman? Rachel Green : Hardy Boy. Chandler Bing : Peter Parker. Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : What about you honey, who would be on your list? Ross Geller : Well I-I-I, that kind of thing requires some serious thought. First, I'll divide my perspective canidates into catergories.... Chandler Bing : What a geek! Phoebe Buffay : Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank. #ALL# : Oh, hi. Phoebe Buffay : This is everybody. This is Ross. Frank Buffay Jr. : How are you? Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hi. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : This is Monica. Frank Buffay Jr. : Whoa! Phoebe Buffay : And this is Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Frank Buffay Jr. : Whoa!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm gonna get coffee. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, how do you guys get anything done? Chandler Bing : We don't, really. Rachel Green : Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! Yeah, no, we're gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker. Chandler Bing : You know, we don't really take advantage of living in the city. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get 'ya? Chandler Bing : No, you didn't get me!! It's an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!! Joey Tribbiani : Calm down, do you want this unit or not? Chandler Bing : I do NOT want this unit!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, you should've told me that before, I'm not a mind reader. Hey, we're out of beer. I'm going to Monica's. Chandler Bing : Fine! Monica Geller : Hey! Where 'ya headin' in those pants? 1982? Joey Tribbiani : Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor. Monica Geller : Why, what's wrong with my bathroom floor? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing. It's just old and dingy, that's all. Monica Geller : I highly doubt that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. Yeah. Monica Geller : I can't live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : Relax. Here hold this . This old stuff just comes right off. Monica Geller : That's a little more than I wanted to see. Joey Tribbiani : Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. It'd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. Monica Geller : I can't leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor. Joey Tribbiani : Eh! There you go. Monica Geller : You know that's nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ew! Frank Buffay Jr. : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldn't, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad. Frank Buffay Jr. : What, wait, you mean like this? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah. You can do it to. Frank Buffay Jr. : Your not doing it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I can't. We don't have that.... Frank Buffay Jr. : When's your birthday? Phoebe Buffay : Feburary 16th. Frank Buffay Jr. : I know a guy who's the 18th. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, that's close. When's yours? Frank Buffay Jr. : October 25th. Phoebe Buffay : That's the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home? Frank Buffay Jr. : Melt stuff. Ross Geller : Okay, I've got three of my five. Rachel Green : Three of your five, what? Ross Geller : Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with. Rachel Green : Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought. Ross Geller : Yeah, it's hard okay, I only have two spots left. Chandler Bing : All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to? Ross Geller : Okay, Elizabeth Hurely.... Chandler Bing : Oooh-hoo, very attractive, forgiving. Ross Geller : Susan Sarandon. Chandler Bing : Eh, y'know what, she's to political, she probably wouldn't let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first. Ross Geller : And!! Isabella Rosselini. Chandler Bing : Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know she's too international, y'know she's never gonna be around. Rachel Green : So? Chandler Bing : So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody who's gonna be in the country like all the time. Rachel Green : Yeah, 'cause that's why you won't get Isabella Rosselini, geography. Phoebe Buffay : Okay so, by melting, you meant melting. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : So is it like art? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, you can melt art. Hey, can I use your phone? Phoebe Buffay : Um, yeah sure. Why you wanna call your Mom? Frank Buffay Jr. : No, I wanna melt it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well um, not right now. Y'know I'm just gonna go to bed, I think the fumes are giving me a headache. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : G'night, bro. Frank Buffay Jr. : G'night. Phoebe Buffay : Here. Y'know, just in case. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, excellent. Monica Geller : What kind of karate is that? Phoebe Buffay : No kind. He just makes it up. Monica Geller : So how's it going with you guys? Phoebe Buffay : So far, it kinda blows. I don't know, I just thought y'know that he'd feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and.... Monica Geller : Oh honey, we're close now but you-you wouldn't believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and.... That's where the waistband actually goes over your head. Phoebe Buffay : Ah!! Monica Geller : Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how do you play the shadow game? Monica Geller : Oh, how do you play the shadow game? Phoebe Buffay : I just asked you. Monica Geller : I just asked you. Phoebe Buffay : I don't have time for this. Monica Geller : No, that is what the game is. Phoebe Buffay : Which you just gave up really quickly. Chandler Bing : Have you seen Joey? Monica Geller : What's the matter? Chandler Bing : Oh, just this! Y'know what it's my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles. Chandler Bing : What's going on? Monica Geller : He's retiling my floor. Chandler Bing : Yo!! Spackel boy! Get up! Monica Geller : Ah-ah-ah, now you started this, you will finish it. Chandler Bing : He started mine first! Phoebe Buffay : Build the unit Cinderelly, lay the tile Cinderelly. Frank Buffay Jr. : Whoa! Big octopus. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. 'Hello. Oh my God, I totally forgot! Well can't someone else do it. But, I have company. Yeah, no look, that's all right I'll come in.' Um, Frank, I'm really sorry but I have to go to work. It's-it's one of my regulars and he's insisting that I do 'um. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, what kind of work do you do? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I'm a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff. Frank Buffay Jr. : You-you work at one of those massage parlors? Phoebe Buffay : Well, y'know we don't call it that, but yeah! Frank Buffay Jr. : Wow! That's wild! No, I had no idea. Phoebe Buffay : All righty. I'll be back in-in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me? Frank Buffay Jr. : You mean like watch? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, you can get one yourself. It'll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, I don't think this, y'know. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, I wouldn't do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, I'll get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah! Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there? Monica Geller : It's beautiful! It's like the first bathroom floor there ever was. Whoa! Are you going in there for? Chandler Bing : What, like a number? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi! Bye! Ross Geller : Okay, I'm done with my choices, these are final. Rachel Green : Well, it's about time. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, very official. Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer. Monica Geller : And who laminated it? Ross Geller : That would be me. Rachel Green : All right let me see. Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and Dorothy Hammel? Ross Geller : Hey, it's my list. Rachel Green : Okay honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice. Frank Buffay Jr. : Ow!-Ow!-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Y'know, ow! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!-Hey! What's going on? Frank Buffay Jr. : She broke my arm. Girl : He touched my fanny. Frank Buffay Jr. : No, she touched mine first! Girl : That's my job! Frank Buffay Jr. : So wait, what's the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I can't touch you? Girl : Ewww!!! Phoebe Buffay : You can't have sex with her! Girl : What'd you think I was, a hooker? Frank Buffay Jr. : No, your a masseuse, it's cool, I'm not a cop. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Jasmine, can you, can you ask Mr. Whiffler if he can wait for like five minutes. Jasmine : Fine. I don't like you!! Phoebe Buffay : So that's what you thought I did!! God! That's not what I do! Frank Buffay Jr. : Wait that's-that's, what that's not what you do? Phoebe Buffay : Nooo! Why would you think that? Frank Buffay Jr. : I don't know, I mean, y'know, this is the city y'know, I just, I mean, I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : Whatever, it's the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, wait, no your right, no it was perfect and I can't believe that I screwed it up so bad. Phoebe Buffay : You really thought it was perfect? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, no, maybe-maybe it wasn't perfect, but y'know it was pretty cool, y'know, 'cause we had all those great talks y'know. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, um, which ones in particular were great for you? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes... Phoebe Buffay : I don't.... Frank Buffay Jr. : How-how I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt. Phoebe Buffay : Right, okay, um-mm. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, y'know I feel like I can really talk to you 'cause y'know you're my sister, y'know. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I guess I do, yeah. Frank Buffay Jr. : Then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I-I wasn't hopping mad, y'know. Frank Buffay Jr. : You hopped a little bit. Yeah, I really sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this. Frank Buffay Jr. : This? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker... Phoebe Buffay : She wasn't a hooker. Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, when I tell my friends about her she will be. Chandler Bing : Okay, on three. One....Two.... Joey Tribbiani : Why don't we just go on two. Chandler Bing : Why two? Joey Tribbiani : Because it's faster. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this 'two' talk. Rachel Green : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : All right, but in the future... Ross Geller : Okay!! Okay!! Rachel Green : Come on! Ross Geller : Heavy thing, not getting lighter! Chandler Bing : Okay, one...two... Joey Tribbiani : So we are going on two? #ALL# : All right!! Chandler Bing : Oh, good job Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, it's big! Chandler Bing : Yeah-yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller! Joey Tribbiani : Maybe, my ruler's wrong. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe all the rulers are wrong. Joey Tribbiani : Look it's not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door. Chandler Bing : Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how 'bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, listen, before I forget that side is still wet. Rachel Green : Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? Okay, great. You freak. Ross Geller : Thank you. Isabella Rosselini : Um, coffee to go, please. Ross Geller : Isabella Rosselini. Monica Geller : Are you serious? Oh my God. Ross Geller : Damn! I can't believe I took her off my list. Monica Geller : Why? 'Cause otherwise you'd go for it? Ross Geller : Yeah, maybe. Rachel Green : Oh-oh, you lie. Ross Geller : What you don't think I'd go up to her? Rachel Green : Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me. Ross Geller : Yeah, well missy, you better be glad that list is laminated. Rachel Green : You know what honey, you go ahead, we'll call her an alternate. Ross Geller : Okay, hold my crawler. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Rach, are you really gonna let him do this? Rachel Green : Honey, he's about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn. Ross Geller : Hi! Hi, I'm Ross, you don't know me, but I'm a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? Or maybe reimburse you for that one? Isabella Rosselini : Aren't you with that girl over there? Ross Geller : Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but that's okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, so I'm allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, it's flattery. Isabella Rosselini : I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Don't, don't just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity... Isabella Rosselini : Yeah, for you. Is that the list? Ross Geller : Um, yeah. Isabella Rosselini : May I see it? Ross Geller : Um, no. Isabella Rosselini : Come on! Ross Geller : But, okay. Isabella Rosselini : I'm not on the list! Ross Geller : Um, see, but that's not the final draft. Isabella Rosselini : It's laminated! Ross Geller : Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local. Isabella Rosselini : Y'know it's ironic... Ross Geller : What? Isabella Rosselini : ...because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there. Ross Geller : We're just gonna be friends. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Chandler Bing : Umm? Joey Tribbiani : I bet 'ya ya I could fit in there. Chandler Bing : I've got five bucks says you can't. Joey Tribbiani : Get out your checkbook, mister. Chandler Bing : Oh, I think I have the cash. Joey Tribbiani : You are dogged man! I totally fit! Chandler Bing : Yeah, you got me. I'm out five big ones! Here you go. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Cha-ching! Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. And the drinks are on me! Janice Litman Goralnik : Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you? Phoebe Buffay : Wow, it's like a dirty math problem. Ross Geller : I'm sorry the answer there would be...none of us. Janice Litman Goralnik : Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid. Joey Tribbiani : Well, that's really a different question. Janice Litman Goralnik : I'm sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies. Joey Tribbiani : Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together. Monica Geller : What?!! Rachel Green : Excuse me, there was no time! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, but let's say there was. How might that go? Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost? Rachel Green : Does anybody need more coffee? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'll take some. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, there's a dog out there! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that is so unfortunate. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight. Monica Geller : Okay, I'll be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe I'm sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone. Phoebe Buffay : You didn't leave lipstick marks on the phone. Monica Geller : Oh, then it must've been you. Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Bye-bye! That's why I moved out. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know while we're on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you don't live here anymore. Phoebe Buffay : I think on some levels she already knows. Ross Geller : Phoebe, she doesn't know that you sneak out every night, she doesn't know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesn't know that you've been living with your Grandmother's for a week now. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well maybe not on those levels. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : I'm never gonna find a roommate, ever. Phoebe Buffay : Why, nobody good? Chandler Bing : Well let's see, there was the guy with the ferrets, that's plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing! Ross Geller : So how many more do you have tomorrow? Chandler Bing : Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who I'm not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone 'Chandler Bing,' he said 'Whoa-whoa, short message.' Monica Geller : Ross , foot on the floor or come over no more! Ross Geller : Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices. Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo... Chandler Bing : Umm, how's it going with you guys? Ross Geller : Oh, better, actually. Y'know I-I-I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, really? Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesn't really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think it's gonna make a difference Chandler Bing : Soo, ah, Eric, what kind of photography do ya do? Eric (photographer) : Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope that's cool. Chandler Bing : Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never. Eric (photographer) : Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sister's beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, she's a porn star. Chandler Bing : Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think you're chances are pretty good. All right. Chandler Bing : Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, Bye-bye. Joey Tribbiani : Don't you ah, don't you wanna ask me any questions? Chandler Bing : Sure. Ummm. What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Well, ah, I'm an actor. I'm fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and don't worry I'm totally okay with the gay thing. Chandler Bing : What gay thing? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. I'm totally cool with that. Chandler Bing : Well okay Jerry, thanks for stopping by. Monica Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, Mon. Monica Geller : Hey-hey-hey. You wanna hear something that sucks. Chandler Bing : Do I ever. Monica Geller : Chris says they're closing down the bar. Chandler Bing : No way! Monica Geller : Yeah, apparently they're turning it into some kinda coffee place. Chandler Bing : Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now? Monica Geller : Got me. Chandler Bing : Can I get a beer. Monica Geller : Hey, did you pick a roommate? Chandler Bing : You betcha! Monica Geller : Is it the Italian guy? Chandler Bing : Um-mm, yeah right! Monica Geller : He's so cute. Chandler Bing : Oh yes, and that's what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one. Monica Geller : Oh look, the pool table's free. Rack 'em up. I'll be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt. Chandler Bing : Okay, but after that, we're shootin' some pool. Rachel Green : Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I don't think this is. Waitress : I am so sorry. Rachel Green : That's all right. I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh? Friend No. 1 : Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS Rachel Green : Ummm, I think it's time to see the ring again. Friend No. 2 : Oh, isn't it exciting, I mean it's like having a boyfriend for life. Rachel Green : Yeah, I know. Friend No. 1 : What? Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know. Well maybe it's just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I don't know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. Friend No. 1 : Rachel stop! Friend No. 2 : You're so bad! Rachel Green : I'm serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see. Chandler Bing : Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball. Rachel Green : Yeah, so? Chandler Bing : And now I've picked it up again. Monica Geller : Oh my God, I went to high school with her. Rachel! Hi! Rachel Green : Monica! Look! Hi! What do ya think? Monica Geller : Oh my God, you can't even see where the Titanic hit it. Rachel Green : Yes, his name is Barry, he's a doctor, thank you very much. Monica Geller : Awww, just like you always wanted. Congratulations Rachel Green : Thank you. So how-how 'bout you, are-are you seeing anybody? Monica Geller : Aww, not right now. Rachel Green : Oh, but that's okay. Monica Geller : I know. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : So, I'll get-get back to my friend. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. Listen, can we please have lunch the next time I'm in the city? Monica Geller : Oh, that'd be great. Rachel Green : Okay! Monica Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Bye! Monica Geller : Bye! Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life. Ross Geller : No real-, honey, really it's fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye Phoebe Buffay : So what are they doing? Ross Geller : I don't know, something girlie. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you're early. Monica Geller : What are you doing with the lamp? Phoebe Buffay : I'm just taking it to be re-wired. Monica Geller : Oh, well don't take it to the same place you took the stereo, 'cause they've had that thing for over a week. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here. Mr. Heckles : You're disturbing my oboe practice. Phoebe Buffay : You don't play the oboe! Mr. Heckles : I could play the oboe! Phoebe Buffay : Then I'm gonna have to ask you to keep it down. Mr. Heckles : Who are you? Eric (photographer) : Hi, I'm Eric, I'm gonna be Chandler's new roommate. Mr. Heckles : I'm Chandler's new roommate. Eric (photographer) : I-I-I don't think so. Mr. Heckles : I could be Chandler's new roommate. Eric (photographer) : But, he told me over the phone. Mr. Heckles : He told me in person. Eric (photographer) : That's weird. Mr. Heckles : Well, I'm going to go into my new apartment now. Ehh! Monica Geller : Hi, again. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Thank you soo, much. Chandler Bing : Oh, don't thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work. Monica Geller : You want some help with that? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no thanks, I got it. No I don't! Monica Geller : Whoa! Are you okay? Joey Tribbiani : Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush. Monica Geller : It's the heat. And-and the humidity. Joey Tribbiani : That's a uh, that's a tough combination. Monica Geller : Do you wanna come in for some lemonade? Joey Tribbiani : Like you wouldn't believe. Wow! This is a great place. Monica Geller : Thank you. Just make yourself comfortable. Joey Tribbiani : Gotcha. Monica Geller : This place is really my Grandmother's. I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, I'm 87 year old woman, who's afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you bet I am! Monica Geller : Okay, here's your penis! Monica Geller : Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!! Joey Tribbiani : You said, you wanna come in for some lemonade? Monica Geller : So?! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, ah!! We're you just gonna give me some lemonade? Monica Geller : Yeah huh!! Cover yourself up! Joey Tribbiani : Oh right, right. Monica Geller : I don't believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex? Joey Tribbiani : Well usually...yeah! Well, not just lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice. Well, sorry, I just, I thought you liked me. I'm such a jerk. Monica Geller : It's okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it. Monica Geller : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Monica Geller : Where's your bed? Phoebe Buffay : It's not in the apartment? Oh no. I can't believe this is happening again. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, enough with the third degree! I-I've, I don't live here anymore. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I-I-I-I don't live here anymore. I-I didn't know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows! Monica Geller : Everybody knows! Phoebe Buffay : That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldn't sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions. Monica Geller : Well, you-you coulda just turned the cushion over. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I would've except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side. Monica Geller : What?!?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is what I'm talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill. Monica Geller : You can spill. In the sink. Phoebe Buffay : Aw, honey it's not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I don't see that happening. Monica Geller : I love you, too. Phoebe Buffay : Aww, good. What? Monica Geller : What? I'm just said. Phoebe Buffay : No you're not, you're wondering which cushion it is. Chandler Bing : So ah, whatcha watching? Joey Tribbiani : Baywatch. Chandler Bing : What's it about? Joey Tribbiani : Lifeguards. Chandler Bing : Well, it sounds kinda stupid... Who's she? Joey Tribbiani : Nicole Eggert. You'll like her. Chandler Bing : Wow! Look at them run. Joey Tribbiani : They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'll go get one. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, don't get up, I got a cooler right here. Chandler Bing : Well, hello! Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Do you have any beers? We're out of beers. Monica Geller : Help yourself. Chandler Bing : You okay? Monica Geller : Phoebe moved out. Chandler Bing : Right. Monica Geller : I don't understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I don't have a boyfriend? Chandler Bing : Noo!! You don't have a boyfriend because....I don't, I don't know why you don't have a boyfriend. You should have a boyfriend. Monica Geller : Well, I think so. Chandler Bing : Oh-ho, come here. Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman I've ever known in real life. Ross Geller : Hi. Where is everybody? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong? Ross Geller : My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Why? Ross Geller : 'Cause Carol's a lesbian. And, and I'm not one. And apparently it's not a mix and match situation. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I don't believe it! Oh, you poor bunny. Ross Geller : I'm an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and I'd be out and she'd, she'd see some beautiful woman, and, and she'd be Ross y'know look at her, and I'd think, God, my wife is cool! Phoebe Buffay : Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover? Ross Geller : Well, now I do!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Seven years. I mean we've been together seven years, she's the only woman who's ever loved me, and the only woman I've-I've ever.... Phoebe Buffay : Aw, God Ross. Oh. Chandler Bing : Umm, this is nice. Monica Geller : I know, it is isn't it? Chandler Bing : No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton? Monica Geller : Yeah! And I got it on sale, too. Chandler Bing : Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device. Monica Geller : Well, if you wanna get a drink later we can. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that sounds great. Oh, and listen, it's, it's gonna be.... Monica Geller : I know. Thanks. Ross Geller : Maybe this would've happened if I'd been more nurturing, or I'd paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I can't believe this! Phoebe Buffay : I know no, no, y'know you don't deserve this, you don't Ross. You're, you're really, you're so good. Ross Geller : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : And you're so sweet. And you're kind Ross Geller : Thanks. Ross Geller : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, it's okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Ross Geller : Wait, wait, wait. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : My foot is stuck in the pocket. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : No, I can't get it out. Phoebe Buffay : Well, that's not something a girl wants to hear. Ross Geller : No, come on don't start. Ouch! Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : Stupid balls are in the way. Ross Geller : Oh well. It probably would've been the most constructive solution. Phoebe Buffay : You have chalk on your face. Ross Geller : Huh? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Ross you're right, I don't know why I always thought this was real grass. Monica Geller : Hey, are you okay? Ross Geller : My wife's a lesbian. Joey Tribbiani : Cool!! Chandler Bing : Ross-Joey, Joey-Ross. Ross Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : I can't believe you came back. Rachel Green : Don't say anything. I don't wanna speak, I don't wanna think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now. Friend No. 2 : Rachel! Rachel! Rachel Green : What? Friend No. 2 : You missed the exit! Rachel Green : Oh, sorry. Friend No. 1 : My God, what were you thinking about? Rachel Green : Um, Barry. Her Friends : Awwww!! Ross Geller : So I told Carl, 'Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur.' But of course this went in one ear and out..... Rachel Green : I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend he's Alan Alda. Monica Geller : Oh good, another dinosaur story. When are those gonna become extinct? Chandler Bing : If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best. Gunther : What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife. Phoebe Buffay : Who's singing? Ross Geller : Hey. When you guys were kids and you played Happy Days, who were you? I was always Richie. Monica Geller : I was always Joanne. Joey Tribbiani : Question. Was ah, 'Egg the Gellers!' the war cry of your neighbourhood? Phoebe Buffay : Ewww! Oh! It's the Mattress King! Joey Tribbiani : Booo!! Chandler Bing : Don't look honey. Change the channel! Change the channel! Janice Litman Goralnik : Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine. Matress King : 'Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. I'm so depressed I'm going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! I'm going medieval on prices! Chandler Bing : What a wank! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I cannot believe he's using our divorce to sell mattresses. Monica Geller : I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. And I'm appalled for you by the way. Matress King : I'm close. I'm cheap. I'm the king. Rachel Green : 'Okay. Okay, daddy we'll see you tomorrow night. Okay bye-bye.' Ross Geller : We? Rachel Green : Are ah, having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night, I hope that's okay. Ross Geller : Oh shoot, tomorrow's not so good, I'm supposed to um, fall off the Empire State building and land on a bicycle with no seat. Sorry. Rachel Green : Ross, my father doesn't hate you. Ross Geller : Please, he refers to me as 'wethead'. Rachel Green : But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, I'll love you like I do in that black thing that you like. Chandler Bing : I'll go. Ross Geller : Fine. Rachel Green : Thank you. Ross Geller : Hi Gunther. Gunther : Yeah, we'll see! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Guess what? Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : I got a gig! #ALL# : Yay!! Chandler Bing : See, that's why I could never be an actor. Because I can't say gig. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I can't say croissant. Oh my God! Monica Geller : What's the part? Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's not a part, no. I'm teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension. Ross Geller : Come on! That's great. #ALL# : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. It's like my chance to give something back to the acting community. Ross Geller : Y'know your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students. Joey Tribbiani : I know! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh! I don't know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janice's ex-husband, that's like betraying Chandler. Monica Geller : Not at these prices. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. Woo! Monica Geller : Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy. Phoebe Buffay : Eh, Monica it, it feels so weird, y'know, Chandler's your friend... Oh! Oh my God! Aw, all right take this bed, you can make other friends. Joey Tribbiani : Good evening. I'm Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you don't have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along. Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ooh! How was teaching last night? Joey Tribbiani : Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, 'Hey, the bell doesn't dismiss you, I dismiss you.' Phoebe Buffay : Ooooh, nice. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yay! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's this great part, this boxer named Nick. And I'm so, so right for it, y'know, he's just like me. Except he's a boxer, and has an evil twin. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Guy : Dom da-da dom! Here ye! Here ye! Delivery from the Mattress King. You Miss Geller? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Guy : Sign here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. It's that bedroom there. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so please, please, please, don't say anything to Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : You want me to lie to Chandler? Phoebe Buffay : Is that a problem? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer let's see what you got. All right ya, put 'em up. Come on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're ah, pretty good at this. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men weren't acting Christian enough. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh! Joey Tribbiani : Hey now! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!!! Oww!! And I'm bleeding. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh! Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, great. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! And I'm a vegetarian! All right, all right, well I'm sorry, we'll put some ice on it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : 'Kay, put your head back. Joey Tribbiani : All right. I can't see. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I have ya. Oh God. Guy : Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's the compulsively neat one by the window, okay. Guy : Gotcha. Rachel Green : Hi Daddy! Leonard Green : This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby. Rachel Green : You remember Ross. Leonard Green : Um-hmm. Ross Geller : Nice to see you again Dr. Green. Leonard Green : So! How's the library? Ross Geller : Ugh, museum. Leonard Green : What happened to the library? Ross Geller : There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one. Leonard Green : You know what's really good here, the lobster. What do you say shall I just order three. Ross Geller : Yeah, if you're really hungry. It was a joke, I made a joke. Rachel Green : Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster. Leonard Green : What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library. Ross Geller : It's not a library... Leonard Green : I know!! It's a museum! What, you're the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. Ross Geller : So, Dr. Green, how's the old boat. Leonard Green : They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat? Ross Geller : It gives it a nice antiquey look. Leonard Green : Rust, is boat cancer, Ross. Ross Geller : Wow. I'm sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. Leonard Green : Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Aw honey stop! It's not that bad. Ross Geller : Yeah. Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad must've added wrong. He only tipped like four percent. Rachel Green : Yeah. That's Daddy. Ross Geller : That's Daddy?! But doesn't it bother you? You're a waitress. Rachel Green : Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, I'd be serving him sneezers. Ross Geller : So? Rachel Green : So. Ross, I've bugged him about this a million times, he's not gonna change. Ross Geller : You really serve people sneezers? Rachel Green : Well um, I don't. Leonard Green : You kids ready? Ross Geller : Thanks again, Dr. Green. Leonard Green : All right. Leonard Green : Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I think I forgot my receipt. Ross Geller : Oh, ah, you don't need that. Leonard Green : Why not? Ross Geller : The carbon, it's messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness. Leonard Green : What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, it's a sickness really. Rachel Green : Yeah it is, it is. We really, really have to do something about that. Ross Geller : I know. Leonard Green : Excuse me, you think I'm cheap? Rachel Green : Oh Daddy, no he didn't mean anything by that, he really didn't. Ross Geller : Nothing I do means anything, really. Leonard Green : This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, I'll tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. Ross Geller : Well Mr. Big Shot is better than 'wethead'. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor, so if I'm in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, let's say I wanna convey that I've just done something evil. That would be the basic 'I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it' Okay, let's say I've just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. And that's how it's done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed. Student : Hey, Mr. Trib. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey. Student : Guess what, I got an audition! Joey Tribbiani : Awww, one of my students got an audition. I'm so proud. Student : I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it? Joey Tribbiani : You bet! What's the part? Student : Oh it's great, it's a role on All My Children, Nick the boxer. Rachel Green : You had to do it, didn't you? You couldn't just leave it alone. Ross Geller : Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when there's a bug in my food. Rachel Green : Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall. Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I'm, I'm freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldn't have! All right, I haven't lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom? Rachel Green : Um. yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I am soo dead. Rachel Green : All right, look, here's the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, I'll invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice. Ross Geller : Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesn't work. Rachel Green : Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but that's why you have got to be the bigger man here. Ross Geller : Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldn't make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say 'Like me! Like me tiny doctor!' Rachel Green : Okay, well can't you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me? Ross Geller : Rachel one brunch is not gonna solve anything. You gotta face it, okay we're never gonna get along. Rachel Green : Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I don't wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, okay. I'll get the bagels. Monica Geller : What's this? Phoebe Buffay : Isn't it cool! Varoom! Varoom! Monica Geller : This is not the bed I ordered! Phoebe Buffay : I know, you must've won like a contest or something! Monica Geller : Phoebe! Monica Geller : Why is this car in my bedroom? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, okay, I-I wasn't looking, and the store says that they won't take it back because you signed for it... Monica Geller : When did I sign for it? Phoebe Buffay : When I was you! Y'know what, it's all Joey's fault, 'cause he left his nose open! Monica Geller : Did you make brownies today? Chandler Bing : Knock, knock. Monica Geller : Quick, take off your dress, he won't notice the bed. Chandler Bing : Hey, I'm going for sushi does anybody want.. Whoa-whoa, somebody missed the off ramp. Phoebe Buffay : It's Monica's bed. What? Chandler Bing : Okay. It's a racecar. Phoebe Buffay : So. This has always been Monica's bed, what you're just noticing now, how self-involved are you? Chandler Bing : Okay, well it this bed isn't new, how come there is plastic on the mattress? Monica Geller : Sometimes I have bad dreams. Student : Look, I just saw my best friends brains smeared across the canvas, that's not gonna be me, not me. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! That was good. That was... Tweezers? Student : No. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa. That was really good. Student : Thanks, any suggestions? Chandler Bing : You told him to play the boxer gay!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I-I might've said supergay. Chandler Bing : You totally screwed him over. Monica Geller : Joey, you're this guy's teacher. I mean how could you do this? Joey Tribbiani : Because, Monica, the guy's so good, and I really, really want this part. Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you really, really want it, then it's okay. Rachel Green : Hi Daddy. Leonard Green : Baby. Ross. Ross Geller : Dr. Green. How are you? Leonard Green : Thanks for dinner last night. Ross Geller : Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson. Leonard Green : Nice hair. What'd ya do? Swim here? Ross Geller : Okay, that's it, I can't take it anymore. Rachel Green : What? What? He's interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here. Ross Geller : Oh, please. Sweetie it's hopeless, okay, I'm just gonna go. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Look, look I'm sorry. It's just that.... Leonard Green : Ross? What's with the neck? Rachel Green : He's got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor... Leonard Green : You're still going to that chiropractor, that man couldn't get into medical school in Extapa! Ross Geller : Thank you! That's what I keep saying. Rachel Green : Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor. Ross Geller : Uh. Leonard Green : Wait a minute, his name is Dr. Bobby? Rachel Green : Well that's his last name. Ross Geller : And his first name. Leonard Green : He's Bobby Bobby? Rachel Green : It's Robert Bobby. Leonard Green : Oh. Rachel Green : And um, excuse me, he helps me. Ross Geller : Oh-ho please. Ask her how? Leonard Green : What do you need help for? Rachel Green : With my alignment. I've got one leg shorter than the other. Leonard Green : Oh God! Ross Geller : Argue with that. Rachel Green : What? It's true, my right leg is two inches shorter. Leonard Green : Come on! You're just titling! Her legs are fine! Ross Geller : I know that! Leonard Green : So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, let her? Ross Geller : What can I do, she doesn't listen to me about renter's insurance either. Leonard Green : Wait a minute, you don't have renter's insurance?! Rachel Green : No. Leonard Green : Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?! Ross Geller : Hey, would you ah, would you like some juice? Leonard Green : I'd love some juice. Thanks. Ross Geller : Okay. Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see? Rachel Green : Yeah honey, I'm standing right there! Why didn't you just tell him about the mole I haven't got checked yet. Ross Geller : Excellent! Joey Tribbiani : There will come a time in each of your careers when you'll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And I'm ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, he's got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thank you. Jester : Uh, may I help you? Monica Geller : Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, I'm the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed. Jester : Look, it's like I told you, there's nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller. Joey Tribbiani : All right, Jester man, look we wanna see the king. Jester : Nobody sees the king! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho-kay, I'm talking to the king. Jester : Hey! You can't go back there! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh my God. Chandler Bing : Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! Hey-hey good lookin'! Varrrrrrrrroom. All right, I'll leave. My bed's so boring. Rachel Green : Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies? Chandler Bing : I will have one. Chandler Bing : Okay, I'm not gonna have one. Ross Geller : Neither will I. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, it's just my tooth. Chandler Bing : All right I'll have one. Ross Geller : So what's a matter, you need a dentist? I've got a good one. Phoebe Buffay : No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I can't see him. Chandler Bing : See that is the problem with invisible dentists. Ross Geller : Why? Why can't you go to him? Phoebe Buffay : Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies. Chandler Bing : That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienist's blouse. Rachel Green : Phoebe, what? Umm...what?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend 'Albino Bob'. Rachel Green : And all these people actually died? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, while I was in the chair! That's why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, it's not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives! Ross Geller : Pheebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's, it's, it's just ah, a coincidence. Phoebe Buffay : Well tell that to them. Oh! You can't, their dead. Ross Geller : Thanks, Gunther. Hey! Umm, can I get a napkin too? Gunther : Oh, like you don't already have everything. Phoebe Buffay : Ow! Ow! Rachel Green : Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go. Phoebe Buffay : All right, fine, fine, but if you're my next victim, don't come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set. Rachel Green : I promise. Phoebe Buffay : Although, don't feel like you can't visit. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is, is, is Chandler here? Ross Geller : No, no he's not. Monica Geller : You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband. Ross Geller : What? So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not. Rachel Green : Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him. Joey Tribbiani : It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him. Phoebe Buffay : Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill him. Joey Tribbiani : Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. It's like a Play-Doo Fat Factory. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... Ross Geller : Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display. Joey Tribbiani : What did they do? Ross Geller : Well, they painted over the word 'Sapien' for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, let's just leave it at that. Monica Geller : So, do you want me to watch Ben for you? Ross Geller : Yes, that's what I was going to ask, thank you. Rachel Green : Whoa! Wait! Hello! What about me? Ross Geller : You? You! Want to watch Ben? Yes! That'd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, Ross? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : I've got a science question. Ross Geller : Hmm? Joey Tribbiani : If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact 'Homo-sapien', is that why there extinct? Ross Geller : Joey, Homo Sapiens are people. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, I'm not judging. Rachel Green : Look Benny, spoon. Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think he's bored. Monica Geller : Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. We're gonna do something fun. Okay. Weee!! Weee!! Monica Geller : Who's so brave, you're so brave, yes you are, you're so brave. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay honey, he's fine, he's fine, let's just put him down. Come here, Ben. See that's a good boy. How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?! Monica Geller : He's not gonna say anything, because we're not gonna tell him. Rachel Green : We're not?! Monica Geller : No we're not. Rachel Green : All right, I like that. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : So we're okay, we're okay, we're okay, aren't we? No, we're not okay, we're not okay, there's a bump, there's a bump. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in! Rachel Green : I cannot push it in! Monica Geller : Okay, we're gonna need a distraction. Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay. Monica Geller : I got it! Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, rweee!! Rachel Green : Or. We could put a hat on his head. Monica Geller : A hat! Yes! We need a hat. Rachel Green : We need a hat.. Monica Geller : Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat? Rachel Green : Oh, oh, oh, I'll get 'Rainy Day Bear'!! Monica Geller : Because he'll know what to do? Oh my God, you're a genius! Rachel Green : Oh God, oh God, it's sowed on though. Monica Geller : Give it. Give it. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh!! Rachel Green : Oh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today. Chandler Bing : Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice? Joey Tribbiani : I'd really prefer a mountain bike. Chandler Bing : Janice's birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum. Chandler Bing : That's a good idea, 'Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday'. I would like to get her something serious. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious. Chandler Bing : All right. Look, I'm gonna go in here, and you don't buy me anything ever. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, you can't, you can't, okay, you can't, you can't buy her pearls, you just can't, you can't, you can't. Chandler Bing : Why not?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh God. Uh, okay, here's the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is... Chandler Bing : What is the thing? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I went down to the 'Mattress King' showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : They were in his office. Chandler Bing : Well she, she wouldn't do that, she's with, she's with me. Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling you man, I saw it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, you're wrong! Okay, you're wrong. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not wrong! I wish I was. I'm sorry. Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh? Monica Geller : It just makes more sense as an ensemble. Rachel Green : Right. Monica Geller : Besides, it takes the focus off the hat. Phoebe Buffay : No! Oh! You're alive! You're alive! Rachel Green : See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didn't I? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, we'll see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know. Monica Geller : Sure, we have no money, go ahead. Phoebe Buffay : 'Hey! You're not dead! Okay, see ya!' Ben Geller : Monica. Monica Geller : Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that? Ben Geller : Monica bang! Rachel Green : Okay, I heard that. Monica Geller : Did he just say 'Monica bang'? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Oh my God! He's gonna rat me out! Ben Geller : Monica bang! Monica Geller : Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. It's no big deal, it's not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. Ow, Monica bang! Everybody bang. Ben bang. Rachel bang. Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isn't that fun? Rachel Green : Look at that! Look at that! We all do it. Okay, I'm stopping now. Monica Geller : You okay? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Y'know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it. Janice Litman Goralnik : How's my Bing-a-ling? Chandler Bing : Ah, I don't know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me. Janice Litman Goralnik : Why are your eyes so white? Chandler Bing : You tell me! Maybe, it's because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh my God!! Chandler Bing : All right! Janice Litman Goralnik : How did you know? Chandler Bing : Joey told me, he saw you two kissing. Janice Litman Goralnik : In the park? Chandler Bing : No! In his office! How many kisses were there? Janice Litman Goralnik : Just those two! Chandler Bing : Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, I'm sorry honey, I'm so, so, haaaaa! I'm so, so sorry, I just haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I-I-I can't breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something? Chandler Bing : Here. Janice Litman Goralnik : The receipt. Chandler Bing : I'll take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? Are you finished with him? Do you still love him? Do you still love me? All right look, I'm gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? Janice Litman Goralnik : I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. If you're alive you answer your phone! Monica Geller : Okay, Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you don't tell about our little bonking incident. Rachel Green : Monica, number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... What?! Joey Tribbiani : You said number two. Rachel Green : I also said number one. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Ross Geller : Hey! Everyone. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : How's my little boy? Rachel Green : He's perfect, he's never been better. Ross Geller : What'd you do, take him whaling? Ben Geller : Monica. Ross Geller : Oh my God, he just said your name, that's great! Good job Ben. Ben Geller : Monica bang! Monica Geller : Oh that's right, that's what I'd sound like if I exploded. Phoebe Buffay : Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive. Joey Tribbiani : Uh. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big. Rachel Green : Well maybe he's just taking a nap. Joey Tribbiani : I'm tellin' ya, he hasn't moved since this morning. Monica Geller : All right, we should call somebody. Ross Geller : And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isn't moving. Rachel Green : Well, we have gotta find out if he's alive. Monica Geller : How are we gonna do that? There's no way. Joey Tribbiani : Well, there is one way. His window's open, I say, we poke him. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Y'know how we ah, save all those chopsticks for no reason we get when we get Chinese food? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Well, now we got a reason. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we're fashioning a very long poking device. Chandler Bing : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, what's a matter? Chandler Bing : I talked to Janice. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, is she going back to him? Chandler Bing : She doesn't know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the reciept! Joey Tribbiani : What are you ah, what are you gonna do? Chandler Bing : I don't know, y'know. What, what, would you do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, it doesn't matter what I would do. Chandler Bing : Come on, tell me. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you're probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, I would ah, I would bow out. Chandler Bing : What? What are you, what are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : They have a kid together, y'know. They're like, they're like a family, and if, I don't know, there's chance they could make that work, I know I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy? Ross Geller : Well, he's finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head? Rachel Green : Are you, are you, are you sure it's ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child. Ross Geller : It's okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could. Rachel Green : I did! Ross Geller : I know! I'm saying you have to watch them all the time. Rachel Green : I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing! Ross Geller : Monica did it? Ross Geller : Monica? Monica Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today? Monica Geller : No. Why? Ross Geller : Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly he's leaving out 'e' and 'f.' It's like they just ah, I don't know, fell out of his head. Monica Geller : Really?! Ross Geller : Oh, and also, he's, he's walkin' kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and he's in there just sort of y'know... Monica Geller : Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! Rachel Green : I hope it's still funny when you're in hell. Monica Geller : You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! Ross Geller : Monica bang! Monica bang! Ow! Rachel Green : I'll get the hat. Chandler Bing : Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because it's, it's, it's not gonna be easy. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay. Chandler Bing : I think you should go back with Gary. I don't wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know 'You're the reason, you are the reason why their not together.' and I hated that guy. And it didn't matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad. Janice Litman Goralnik : Wow! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well. It's the right thing to do. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! You're right. Oh God. But, before I can say 'good-bye', there's something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, it's like, I finally understand what Lionel Richie's been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, it's like movie love, you're my soulmate, and I can't believe we're not going to be spending the rest of our lives together. Chandler Bing : Then don't leave me! Janice Litman Goralnik : What? Chandler Bing : Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me! Janice Litman Goralnik : No, you were right, you were right. I mean, I-I-I've got to give my marriage another chance. Chandler Bing : No you don't! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance. Janice Litman Goralnik : I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Ohhh. Don't go. Janice Litman Goralnik : No, I-I-I gotta go. Chandler Bing : No. No! No! No! Janice Litman Goralnik : Honey, honey, people are looking. Chandler Bing : I don't care! I don't care!! Janice Litman Goralnik : Yeah, um, I'm, I'm leaving now. Chandler Bing : You can't leave! I have your shoe! Janice Litman Goralnik : Good-bye Chandler Bing. Gunther : Rachel has those in burgendy. Joey Tribbiani : All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area. Ross Geller : Can we please focus here, a naked man's life hangs in the balance! Phoebe Buffay : I'm telling you he's dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick. Joey Tribbiani : All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's poke. Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, we're approaching the window Thread the needle. Thread the needle. Phoebe Buffay : He's alive! He's a-live!!! Monica Geller : And yet, we're still poking him. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, retract the device, retract the device. Ross Geller : He does not look happy. Rachel Green : Hey-hey, now he's showing us his poking device. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy! Chandler Bing : I'll hold you close in my arms. I can't resist your charms. And love.... Phoebe Buffay : Love.... Chandler Bing : I'll be a fool for you. I'm sure, you know I don't mind. Chandler Bing : No you know I don't mind. Chandler Bing : Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh... Chandler Bing : I know. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Chandler Bing : I've found. Phoebe Buffay : I've found.... Chandler Bing : ...in you, my endless love. My endless love. The Guys : Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Awww! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, it's your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help. The Guys : We will. Monica Geller : Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles. Rachel Green : No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this. Monica Geller : Every year. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, for once, I am going to sit down and try to watch one of these things. . Ross Geller : Halftime. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going? Rachel Green : Oh! That would be sooo much fun! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, can I play too? I've never played football, like ever. Joey Tribbiani : Great, you can cover Chandler. Chandler Bing : No, no, no, I don't, I don't really wanna play. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man! You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up. Chandler Bing : That's not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don't say that I don't have goals! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe it'll take your mind off Janice, and if you don't play, everyone will be mad at you 'cause the teams won't be even. Come on. Chandler Bing : Yeah, all right, I'll play. Phoebe Buffay : Yay!! Rachel Green : Let's do it! Ross? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Do you wanna play football? Ross Geller : Um, Monica and I aren't supposed to play football. Joey Tribbiani : Says who? Your mom? Monica Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Well, every, every Thanksgiving um, we used to have a touch football game called the 'Geller Bowl.' Chandler Bing : No, no, no, you say that proudly. Monica Geller : Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kind've competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Ross's nose. Ross Geller : It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running. Monica Geller : To score the winning touchdown, by the way. Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, you did not win the game, the touchdown didn't count, because of the spectacularly illegal, oh and by the way savage nose breaking. Monica Geller : I won the game. Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Then how come you didn't get the Geller Cup? Rachel Green : Um, there was a Geller Cup? Ross Geller : Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, 'nobody won that game, ' and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... threw it in the lake. Chandler Bing : And was the curse lifted? Ross Geller : Anyway. That's when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again. Monica Geller : Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, it's been twelve years. Ross Geller : Can I see you for a second? Monica Geller : Once!! Ross Geller : All right, we're gonna play. Chandler Bing : But wait a minute though, how are we gonna get there, though, because my Mom won't let me cross the street. Monica Geller : Okay. Let's bring it in. Rachel Green : Wait no, honey, honey throw it to me, throw it to me. Ross Geller : Here you go. Rachel Green : That almost hit me in the face. Joey Tribbiani : All right, we have to pick captains. Chandler Bing : And then Tineals. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so how do we decide that? Monica Geller : Well, why don't we just bunny up. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Bunny! Monica Geller : Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Rachel Green : Monica, I'm your best friend. Ross Geller : Sweetie, don't worry you'll get picked. Chandler. Rachel Green : Ross! Monica Geller : Phoebe. Ross Geller : Sweetie, now I pick you. Rachel Green : You don't pick me! You're stuck with me! Ross Geller : Okay. All right. So let's see, let's play from the trash can, to the lightpost. Right. Two hand touch, we'll kick off. Monica Geller : All right people listen, I've got exactly twenty-eight minutes before I have to baste again. Chandler Bing : Wow! Just like in the pros. Monica Geller : Huddle up. Joey Tribbiani : All right, huddle up, right over here. Phoebe Buffay : Wait for me! Wait for me! Wait for me! Oh cool, this is my first huddle. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so what do you guys really think of Chandler? Monica Geller : Okay, Phoebe you know what you're doing right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Okay, Joey's gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block. Phoebe Buffay : What's block? Monica Geller : Phoebe, I thought you said you know what you're doing? Phoebe Buffay : I thought you meant in life. Monica Geller : Break. Chandler Bing : The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. Ross Geller : Oww!! Son of a...!! Ow! Come on! Chandler Bing : Sorry. I'm sorry. Y'know what, we're just gonna throw it. Joey Tribbiani : I got it. Phoebe Buffay : Go! Go! Go! Monica Geller : Score!! 7 to nothing! Rachel Green : Are you okay? Ross Geller : Come on, let's go! Monica Geller : Losers walk! Ross Geller : Yeah, losers talk! Chandler Bing : No, no, no, actually losers rhyme. Chandler Bing : Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! You wanna go shotgun? Ross Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Hike! Joey Tribbiani : One-Mississippi. Two-Mississippi. Three-Mississippi. Rachel Green : Over here! Rachel Green : I almost caught that one! Chandler Bing : Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7. Ross Geller : Okay, this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break! Rachel Green : Wait, what am I gonna do? Ross Geller : You, you go long. Rachel Green : Wait, how long? Ross Geller : Until we start to look very small. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Break!! Joey Tribbiani : Set....hike! Ross Geller : One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, switch! Switch! Switch!! Chandler Bing : No, no, no, no, no! Joey Tribbiani : Haaaaa! Hey-hey, thanks for stopping our ball. Woman : You are playing American football? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Wow, your like from a whole other country. Woman : I'm Dutch. Joey Tribbiani : Hi-hi, I'm Joey. Woman : I'm Margha. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry Dutch, I didn't get that last little bit. Chandler Bing : Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. Hi, I'm Chandler. Margha : Hello, Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Her name is Dutch, and also Marklan. Margha : Margha. Joey Tribbiani : Mar-klan. Margha : Mar-gha. Chandler Bing : Mar-haaaan. Monica Geller : Come on guys! Let's go! Come on, it's second down. Ross Geller : Uh, hello, it's third down. Monica Geller : No it's not, it's second. Ross Geller : Wow! Monica Geller : Wow, what? Ross Geller : It just amazes me that your still pulling stuff like this. Monica Geller : Pulling what? It's second down. Ross Geller : Okay, it's second down. Take all the second downs you need. Monica Geller : I heard that! Ross Geller : Well, I said it loud. Margha : It is okay, if I stay and watch? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Why don't you stick around. You can sit right there. Chandler Bing : Well, that went well. Joey Tribbiani : I think so. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I was thinking about ah, asking her for her number. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know. Chandler Bing : Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, that. All right, means that much to ya, I'll let you have her. Chandler Bing : Thanks. What, let me have her?! What do mean? Like if you didn't I wouldn't have a shot? Joey Tribbiani : Well I don't like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Don't feel bad man, we all have our strengths. You're better with numbers and stuff. Chandler Bing : Math!! You're giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, we'll see who gets her. Ross Geller : Chandler, I want you to run a post pattern to the left, okay. And sweetie.. Rachel Green : Yeah, I know, go long. Y'know, it's like all I'm doing is running back and forth from the huddle. Ross Geller : Well ah, you wanna just stay out there? Rachel Green : Can I see that for second. Ross Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay. Hut! Hike! Joey Tribbiani : Fumble! Joey Tribbiani : What the hell's the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey. Chandler Bing : Well now you have two. Hey, I am good at math. Joey Tribbiani : All right, that's it. Y'know I was still gonna let you have her. But now, forget about it. Prepare to feel very bad about yourself. Chandler Bing : Hey! Well, I've been preparing for that my entire life! Or something about you that's mean! Monica Geller : All right, come on guys, let's go! Tie score, and we're runnin' out of time. Forty-two!! Thirty-eight!! Hike! Phoebe Buffay : Oh I got it!! Oh! Ew! Broken boob! Ow! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, run! Monica Geller : Run, Phoebe, run! Phoebe Buffay : Touchdown!! Touchdown!! Ross Geller : Uh, hello, the buzzer buzzed. It doesn't count. Monica Geller : After the snap! Ross Geller : Before the snap! Joey Tribbiani : After!! Chandler Bing : Before!! Rachel Green : Now, does it really matter? #ALL# : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : Well, okay, I made a touchdown. It was my first touchdown. So? Ross Geller : Oh Pheebs, that's great. It doesn't count. Monica Geller : Does so count! Ross Geller : Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Y'know what, that's fine, maybe you haven't grown up, but I have. Ross Geller : Oh-ho, okay. Monica Geller : Dead leg!! Ross Geller : Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win. Phoebe Buffay : Woo-yay!! Monica Geller : No! Listen, I'm not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you can't blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Let's just call this, tie score and it's halftime. Ross Geller : Okay, first of all, I don't play with cheaters, and second of all, you know I had swollen glands!! Monica Geller : Y'know what? I'll think you'll play. Ross Geller : Oh really! Why is that? Monica Geller : Because the winner gets this! Ross Geller : The Geller Cup. Chandler Bing : Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four? #ALL# : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Okay, good. Ross Geller : Okay, where in the hell did you get that?! Monica Geller : When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out. Ross Geller : That cup is mine! Monica Geller : No it's not! You want it, you're gonna have to win it! Rachel Green : All right, so are we not having dinner at all? Monica Geller : Come on Phoebe, let's go! Come on, it's time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game. Joey Tribbiani : It's hard, y'know, his huddle is closer to Dutch girl. Monica Geller : All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus? Joey Tribbiani : What are you gonna do? Monica Geller : All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, I'll take care of the rest. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Break! Joey Tribbiani : Here you go! Ross Geller : Chandler! Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Whoa! Whoa!! Tackled by a girl! Bet ya don't see that everyday, do ya? Ross Geller : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's with the tackling? Monica Geller : What?! I just touched him and he went over. Ross Geller : Okay, you wanna play rough, we can play rough. Phoebe Buffay : I love this game!! Ross Geller : Hey, where'd you get that? Rachel Green : I went really long. Monica Geller : Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done! Ross Geller : It's no surprise that your winning, 'cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team. Monica Geller : You're so pathetic! Why can't you just accept it, we're winning because I'm better than you. Monica Geller : Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, I'll prove it to you, okay. I'll trade you Joey for Rachel, and I'll still win the game. Ross Geller : What?! The guys against the girls? See, that's ridiculous Monica, because I'm only down by three touchdowns. Monica Geller : Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls. Ross Geller : Fine, fine, Rachel your with Monica, Joey you're with me. Rachel Green : I can not believe your trading me!! Monica Geller : Come on Rach, come on. Let's see what's it like to be on a winning team for a change. Rachel Green : Are you gonna let me play? Monica Geller : All right then. Margha : The game is over, we eat now? Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, the game's not over, we're just switching teams. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Chandler finds me so intimdating that it's better if we're on the same team. Ross Geller : Right. Okay, let's play. Let's go. Chandler Bing : No ah, hold on a second Joe, where do Dutch people come from? Joey Tribbiani : Ah well, the ah, Pennsylvania Dutch, come from Pennsylvania. Chandler Bing : And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right? Joey Tribbiani : Nice try. See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from. Margha : Oh, my. Ross Geller : Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Let's play some ball, guys. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, no, no, I-I'm not playing with this guy, now. Chandler Bing : Fine with me. Ross Geller : Okay, y'know what, let's just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like? Chandler Bing : What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Margha : Which do I like? Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know for dating, general merriment, taking back to your windmill... Margha : Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Yes!! Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didn't understand the question. Chandler Bing : Well, you don't you have Captain Hook explain it to her. Margha : I'm sorry, Joey, that is my chose. Chandler Bing : You hear that! That is her chose, mister I'll let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! Margha : I'm now thinking I would like to change my answer to, no one. Chandler Bing : Wh-what? Margha : I now find you shallow and um, a dork. All right, bye. Joey Tribbiani : Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, it doesn't matter, 'cause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook! Ross Geller : Save the breakthroughs for therapy, okay. The clock is ticking. We have no time, and we are losing, we are losing to girls. Chandler Bing : We're not gonna lose to girls. Ross Geller : Hey! It's 42-21! Joey Tribbiani : This sucks, I was just up by that much! Monica Geller : Are we playing football or what? Come on you hairy-backed Marries. Monica Geller : We have to do this. We are playing for women everywhere. Okay, just think about every lousy date that you ever had, okay, every guy who kept on the TV while you're making out... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! You dated someone with a glass eye too?! Monica Geller : Come on, okay, come on this is for all womankind. Let's kill 'um! Rachel Green : Yeah!!! Kill 'um!!! Phoebe Buffay : All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys? Monica Geller : All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and we're down by two points. Two points.... Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long. Rachel Green : No! Come on! Don't make me go long. Use me. They never cover me. Monica Geller : Honey, there's a reason. Rachel Green : God, I'm not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too. Phoebe Buffay : Come on Mon, let her throw the ball. Monica Geller : All right Rachel, you sweep behind, I'll pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break. Rachel Green : Thank you! Break! Monica Geller : Thirty-two! Seventy-one! Hike! The Guys : One-Mississippi! Two-Mississippi! Three-Mississippi! Rachel Green : I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Monica Geller : No! I'm not okay! Rachel Green : I'm sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didn't know what to do. Joey Tribbiani : Thirty seconds left on the timer! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, so we get to take that stupid troll thing home! Monica Geller : Come on! Come on! Hurry! We're running out of time! Huddle up! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oooh! Oh, this is our last huddle, yeah. Monica Geller : All right, Phoebe get open. Rachel, go long. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Break! Rachel Green : I got a touchdown! We did it!! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey-hey Rachel, funny thing. Actually, the ah, end zone starts at that pole, so you're five feet short, so we win! Phoebe Buffay : Wait-wait-wait-wait! So, explain something to me though, if, if nobody tagged Rachel, then isn't the play still going. Ross Geller : Let go! Let go! Monica Geller : Let go! I'm a tiny little woman!! Chandler Bing : Guys! Guys! Come on! It's Thanksgiving, it's not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!! Monica Geller : Ow!! Rachel Green : We should defiantly play football more often. Maybe there's a like league we could join or something. Phoebe Buffay : Isn't there a national football league. Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes, there is, they play on Sundays and Monday nights. Rachel Green : Oh shoot! I work Monday nights. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, this stuffing is amazing. Do you think we should bring them some? Joey Tribbiani : When they're hungry enough, they'll come in. Monica Geller : Let go! Ross Geller : No! You let go! Monica Geller : No! Ross Geller : How come it's always us left in the field holding the ball? Monica Geller : I don't know. I guess the other people just don't care enough. Ross Geller : Hey! It's starting to snow. Ross Geller : Gimme the this! Monica Geller : Let go! Chandler Bing : Eh..., I don't, I don't know. Rachel Green : What? Chandler Bing : Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing? Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Gunther : Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress? Rachel Green : Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new? Gunther : Good one. Actually, ah, Terry wants you to take the training again, whenever. Rachel Green : Eh, do you believe that? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Sarah Tuttle : So that's two boxes of the Holiday Macaroons. On behalf of the Brown Birds of America, I salute you. Ross Geller : Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand. Chandler Bing : Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand. Ross Geller : Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand. Chandler Bing : I was shrieking... like a Marine. Ross Geller : All right here. Watch me execute the three 'P's of championship play. Power. Precision. and penache. Monica Geller : You broke a little girl's leg?!! Ross Geller : I know. I feel horrible. Okay. Chandler Bing : Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. Where exactly were around ten-ish? Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think she'll like? Monica Geller : Maybe a Hello Kitty doll, the ability to walk... Rachel Green : I'm gonna get back to retraining. Ross Geller : All right, see you guys. Chandler Bing : Look out kids, he's coming! Joey Tribbiani : And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees. Phoebe Buffay : Have fun. Oh wait, no, don't! I forgot I am totally against that now. Joey Tribbiani : What? Me having a job? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. Hey, how do you sleep at night? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's the only chance to see New York. Gunther : ...and after you've delivered the drinks, you take the empty tray.... Rachel Green : Gunther, Gunther, please, I've worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. Gunther : What if you put them here. Rachel Green : Huh. Well, y'know that's actually a really good idea, because that way they'll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too. Gunther : They already do. That's why they call it the 'tray spot.' Rachel Green : Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, I'm, I'm sorry. Gunther : It's all right. Sweetheart. Ross Geller : So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, don't have to sell those cookies anymore. Sarah Tuttle : Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle. Ross Geller : Wow, you ah, you really like all this space stuff, huh? Sarah Tuttle : Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, he'd be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal. Ross Geller : I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India. Sarah Tuttle : No. The one in Atlantic City, Dad loves the slots. He says he's gonna double the college money my Grandma left me. Ross Geller : Huh. Well, good luck to Dad. Say, how many more boxes would you have to sell in order to win? Sarah Tuttle : The girl who won last year sold four hundred and seventy-five. Ross Geller : Yeah. Sarah Tuttle : So far, I've sold seventy-five. Ross Geller : Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. How much are the boxes? Sarah Tuttle : Five dollars a box. Ross Geller : And what is second prize? Sarah Tuttle : A ten speed bike. But, I'd rather have something my Dad couldn't sell. Ross Geller : Well, that makes sense. Sarah Tuttle : Could you do me one favor, if it's not too much trouble? Ross Geller : Yeah, Sarah, anything. Sarah Tuttle : Could you pull open the curtains for me? The astronauts from the space shuttle are gonna be on the news, and since we don't have a TV, the lady across the alley said she'd push hers up to a window, so I could watch it. Woman : Yesss? Ross Geller : Hi, I'm selling Brown Bird cookies. Woman : You're no Brown Bird, I can see you through my peephole. Ross Geller : No, hi, I'm, I'm an honorary Brown Bird Woman : What does that mean? Ross Geller : Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but I'm not invited to sleep-overs. Woman : I can dial 9-1-1 at the touch of a button, y'know. Now, go away! Ross Geller : No, please, please, um, it's for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world. Woman : I'm pressing, a policeman is on his way. Ross Geller : Okay, okay! I'm going. I'm going. Woman : I can still see you! Ross Geller : All right!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. What, what are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, oh, but oh... Joey Tribbiani : Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas.... Phoebe Buffay : Destiny. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Yikes! That one doesn't look very fulfilled. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's, that's ah, one of the old ones, he's just taking it to the back. Phoebe Buffay : You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist. Joey Tribbiani : Well we have to make room for the fresh ones. Phoebe Buffay : So, what happens to the old guys? Joey Tribbiani : Well, they go into the chipper. Phoebe Buffay : Why, do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds? No! Nooooo!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey!! Ross Geller : ...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll take a box of the cream filled Jesus's. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, one box! Come on, I'm trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, I'm putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you? Chandler Bing : Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities? Ross Geller : No, but ah, there's coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, I'll put you down for eight boxes, one for each night. Ross Geller : Mon? Monica Geller : All right, I'll take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and that's it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all? Ross Geller : Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know I'm sure that's not gonna happen this time, why don't I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolph's. Monica Geller : No. Ross Geller : Oh, come on, now you know you want 'em. Monica Geller : Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't do this. Ross Geller : I'll tell you what Mon, I'll give you the first box for free. Monica Geller : Oh God! I gotta go! Ross Geller : Come on! All the cool kids are eating 'em! Gunther : And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there. Rachel Green : I'm training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks. Joey Tribbiani : Look Rach, wasn't this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff? Rachel Green : Well, yeah! I'm still pursuing that. Chandler Bing : How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago? Rachel Green : Well, I'm also sending out.... good thoughts. Joey Tribbiani : If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you've got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear. Rachel Green : The fear? Chandler Bing : He's right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want. Rachel Green : Well then how come you're still at a job that you hate, I mean why don't you quit and get 'the fear'? Chandler Bing : Because, I'm too afraid. Rachel Green : I don't know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just don't want to be 30 and still work here. Chandler Bing : Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28, and still working here. Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Gunther : Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular. Rachel Green : Can't I just look at the handles on them? Gunther : You would think. Rachel Green : Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why I'm a terrible waitress? Because, I don't care. I don't care. I don't care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I don't care where the tray spot is, I just don't care, this is not what I want to do. So I don't think I should do it anymore. I'm gonna give you my weeks notice. Gunther : What?! Rachel Green : Gunther, I quit. Chandler Bing : Does this mean we're gonna have to start paying for coffee? Ross Geller : ....and 12, 22, 18, four... What? Chandler Bing : I spelled out boobies. Monica Geller : Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures? Ross Geller : Ah, we're out. I sold them all. Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Monica, I'm cutting you off. Monica Geller : No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-it's no big deal, all right, I'm-I'm cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes! Ross Geller : Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck. Monica Geller : Oh God! Chandler Bing : So, how many have you sold so far? Ross Geller : Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes! Chandler Bing : Oh my God, how did you do that? Ross Geller : Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as 'Laser Floyd' was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! That's when it occurred to me, the key to my success, 'The Munchies.' So I ah, started hitting the new dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me 'Cookie Dude!' Rachel Green : Okay, stop what you're doing, I need envelope stuffers, I need stamp lickers..... Ross Geller : Well hey, who did these resumes for ya? Chandler Bing : Me! On my computer. Ross Geller : Well you sure used a large font. Chandler Bing : Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room. Rachel Green : Hey-hey-hey that's funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?! Chandler Bing : Something else I might have said? Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know, weren't you the guy that told me to quit my job when I had absolutely nothing else to do. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!! Ross Geller : Sweetie, calm down, it's gonna be okay. Rachel Green : No, it's not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I don't have a lead. Okay, y'know what, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna call Gunther and I'm gonna tell him, I'm not quitting. Chandler Bing : You-you-you don't wanna give into the fear. Rachel Green : You and your stupid fear. I hate your fear. I would like to take you and your fear.... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I got great news! Chandler Bing : Run, Joey! Run for your life! Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel, listen, have you ever heard of Fortunata Fashions? Rachel Green : No. Joey Tribbiani : Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Not a problem. Rachel Green : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : And now for the great news. Ross Geller : What, that wasn't the great news? Joey Tribbiani : Only if you think it's better than this... snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie. Monica Geller : Christmas cookie? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now it's a little more money, but you get a nicer smell. Guy : Looks good. I'll take it. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you don't want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. Guy : It's-it's-it's almost dead! Phoebe Buffay : Okay but that's why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil it's Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the ah, trees that don't fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper. Guy : I-I think I'm gonna look around a little bit more. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here. Monica Geller : Hey, guys. I'm here to pick out my Christmas tree. Phoebe Buffay : Well look no further, this one's yours! Ahhh. Monica Geller : Is this the one that I threw out last year? Phoebe Buffay : All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional, I guess it's just the holidays, it's hard. Monica Geller : Oh honey, is that 'cause your Mom died around Christmas? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wasn't even thinking about that. Monica Geller : Oh. Ross Geller : Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell? Girl : I'm not gonna tell you! You're the bad man who broke Sarah's leg. Ross Geller : Hey now! That was an accident, okay. Girl : You're a big scrud. Ross Geller : What's a scrud? Girl : Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud. Ross Geller : I don't have too. I can just look at you. Leader : All right girls, and man. Let's see your final tallies. Ohhhh, Debbie, 321 boxes of cookies, Very nice. Ross Geller : Not nice enough. Leader : Charla, 278. Sorry, dear, but still good. Ross Geller : Good for a scrud. Leader : Oh, yes Elizabeth. Ah, 871. Ross Geller : That's crap!! Sister Brown Bird. Good going. Leader : Who's next? Ross Geller : Hi there! Leader : Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself. Ross Geller : Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency. Chandler Bing : Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross. Ross Geller : Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes. Chandler Bing : Hey! How'd the interview go? Rachel Green : Oh, I blew it. I wouldn't of even hired me. Ross Geller : Oh, come here sweetie, listen, you're gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. That's not how that was supposed to come out. Phoebe Buffay : This is the worst Christmas ever. Chandler Bing : Y'know what Rach, maybe you should just, y'know stay here at the coffee house. Rachel Green : I can't! It's too late! Terry already hired that girl over there. Look at her, she's even got waitress experience. Last night she was teaching everybody how to make napkin.... swans. Ross Geller : That word was swans. Chandler Bing : Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Merry Christmas!! Phoebe Buffay : You saved them! You guys! Oh God, you're the best! Chandler Bing : It's like 'Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.' Rachel Green : Hello? Yeah, this is she. Oh! You're kidding! You're kidding! Oh thank you! I love you! Chandler Bing : Sure, everybody loves a kidder. Rachel Green : I got the job! #ALL# : That's great! Hey! Excellent! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, God bless us, everyone. Rachel Green : Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. There you go. Enjoy. Chandler Bing : Should I tell her I ordered tea? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, it's just time to move on. Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again. Rachel's Boss : Now Mr. Kaplan Sr. likes his coffee strong, so your gonna use two bags instead of one, see. Now pay attention, 'cause this part's tricky, see some people use filters just once. Ross Geller : I'm, I'm sorry you didn't get to go to Spacecamp, and I'm hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttle's Private Very Special Spacecamp!! Sarah Tuttle : Really Mr. Geller, you don't have to do this. Ross Geller : Oh come on! Here we go! Stand by for mission countdown! Joey Tribbiani : Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... Okay, Blast off! Chandler Bing : I'm an alien. I'm an alien. Ross Geller : Oh no! An asteroid! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, pick a card, any card. All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it? Monica Geller : Um-mm. Joey Tribbiani : All right, give it back to me. 5 of hearts. Ross Geller : Real magic does exist. Rachel Green : Wow. Monica Geller : Wow. Joey, how do you do it? Joey Tribbiani : I can't tell you that, no. Ross Geller : Ah, somebody's at the door on the ceiling. Rachel Green : Noo, that's our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor. Monica Geller : He took up the carpet, and now you can hear everything. Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you go up there and ask him to 'step lightly, please?' Monica Geller : I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, that is silly. I'll go up there, I'll tell him to keep it down. Monica Geller : All right, be my guest. Rachel Green : Good luck. Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, I'll show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didn't see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. I just did it. I just did it, again. Here, I'll slow it down so that you guys can see it. #ALL# : Oh, I got it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... . Guy : Whoa, you are very beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you. Chandler Bing : Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end? Monica Geller : Honey, what's the matter? Chandler Bing : I just saw Janice. #ALL# : Oh. Chandler Bing : Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me. Chandler Bing : Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon. Joey Tribbiani : Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know.... Ross Geller : Hey Chandler, there's a party tomorrow, you'll feel better then. Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know what, I'm gonna be okay, you don't have to throw a party for me. Monica Geller : It's Joey's birthday. Chandler Bing : Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him. Monica Geller : Sush!! I cannot believe she is still up there. Chandler Bing : Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, it's supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh. Mr. Kaplan : How's that coffee comin,' dear? Rachel Green : Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan. Mr. Kaplan : I'm not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy. Rachel Green : I know! Mr. Kaplan : I'll bet your thinking, 'What's an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee?' Eh? Rachel Green : Op. Mr. Kaplan : Eh. Rachel Green : Oh, you got me. Mr. Kaplan : Well, don't think I haven't noticed your potential. Well, I've got a project for you that's a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound? Rachel Green : Oh, that sounds great. Mr. Kaplan : Come on over here, sweetheart. Rachel Green : Oh thank you so much Mr. Kaplan, thank you so much. Mr. Kaplan : I need these hangers separated ASAP. You're welcome. Rachel Green : Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it. Monica Geller : I know honey, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because it's remotely related to the field they're interested in. Monica Geller : Gee, I don't know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy! Rachel Green : Oh honey, come on, I'm sorry, I didn't.... I don't mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom. Rachel Green : Hi! Is my misery amusing to you? Guy : I'm sorry, I wa, I wa, I was just ah.... Rachel Green : It's not funny, this is actually my job. Guy : Oh believe me, I-I-I've been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus. Rachel Green : Oh well then, so I'm just going to go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger. Guy : Ah, just one other thing. Rachel Green : Yes?! Guy : I ah, I work at Bloomingdale's and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested? Rachel Green : Do you want my pickle? Gunther : Hey guys. Monica Geller : Hey Gunther. Hi. I mean you're going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he's very charming. Monica Geller : I know, he's too charming, but if you two start going out, then it's just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him. Phoebe Buffay : Well, you're just gonna have to try. Monica Geller : Joey, where are the Jell-o shots? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, Chandler is supposed to be passin' 'em around... Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hello-dillillio!! Ross Geller : Oh, somebody's feeling better. Monica Geller : Stick out your tongue. Chandler Bing : Take off your shirt! Monica Geller : Oh my!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka. Chandler Bing : Yeah, Jell-o just like Mom used to make. Rachel Green : The most unbelievable thing happened to me today. Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! So I'm out having lunch at Monica's and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdale's and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and he's gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview! Ross Geller : Wow! Rachel Green : I know! Ross Geller : What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason? Rachel Green : Uh-huh! Ross Geller : And he's, he's a total stranger? Rachel Green : Yeah! His name is um, Mark something. Ross Geller : Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex. Rachel Green : What!? Ross Geller : Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason. Rachel Green : To be nice. Ross Geller : Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason? Joey Tribbiani : No, only for sex. Ross Geller : Thank you. So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me? Rachel Green : I didn't have to, because I was wearing my 'I heart Ross' sandwich board and ringing my bell. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Joey's Sisters : Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!! Hey-hey-hey! Chandler Bing : Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing? Monica Geller : How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joey's sisters. Chandler Bing : Hi Joey's sisters! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Cookie Tribbiani : Hey. What are we drinkin' over here. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I have ah, vodka and cranberry juice. Cookie Tribbiani : No kiddin,' that's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you. Sister 1 : What 'cha doing? Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm taking my ex-girlfriend of my speed dialer. Joey's Sisters : Oh!! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, no, it's a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why can't we savor the precious moments? Those are some huge breasts you have. Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today. Monica Geller : Isn't that great? Ross Geller : Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy. Monica Geller : Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, 'Hummina-hummina-hummina.' Ross Geller : That's excellent. Ross Geller : So, he's just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesn't want anything in exchange for helping him? Rachel Green : Well, I assume I'll have to take showers with him, but y'know, that's true of any job. Monica Geller : How ya feelin'? Chandler Bing : Well, my apartment isn't there anymore, because I drank it. Phoebe Buffay : Where'd you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents. Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone. #ALL# : Woooo hoooo!!! Chandler Bing : Ow, no 'woo-hooing,' no 'woo-hooing.' Phoebe Buffay : Why, what happened? Chandler Bing : Ah, I fooled around with Joey's sister. Well, that's not the worst part. Monica Geller : What is the worse part? Chandler Bing : I can't remember which sister. Ross Geller : You see what men do! Don't tell me men are not nice! This is men!! Monica Geller : Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, he's actually going to kill you dead. Chandler Bing : Okay! You don't think I thought of that? Phoebe Buffay : How can you not know which one? Rachel Green : I mean that's unbelievable. Monica Geller : I mean, was it Gina? Ross Geller : Which one is Gina? Rachel Green : Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings. Monica Geller : No, no, no, that's Dina. Chandler Bing : You see you can't tell which one is which either, dwha!! Phoebe Buffay : We didn't fool around with any of them. Dwha! Dwha! Chandler Bing : Veronica. Look, it's got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat. Monica Geller : That was me. Chandler Bing : Look, when I've been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly, and I'm sorry. Monica Geller : That's okay. Rachel Green : That's all right. Ross Geller : That's okay. Joey Tribbiani : Can I talk to you for a second?! Ross Geller : Hey, Joey. Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Come on!! Chandler Bing : Why can't we talk in here? With, with, witnesses. Joey Tribbiani : I just got off the phone with my sister. Ross Geller : Ah, which, which one? Joey Tribbiani : Mary-Angela. Ross Geller : Mary-Angela. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : Y'know which one was she again? Joey Tribbiani : Why don't you ask Chandler, 'cause he's the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin' over Janice by groping my sister. Chandler Bing : It's gotta be the first one. Joey Tribbiani : Really? That's great! You and my sister, sittin' in a tree. Chandler Bing : Yep, I'm in a tree. Rachel Green : Did he call? Did Mark call? Monica Geller : No honey, I'm sorry, but the weekend's not over yet. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh my God, is that Phoebe? Monica Geller : I guess they're back from their date. Rachel Green : Music. Very nice. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : So, how are you? Monica Geller : I am good. I finished my book. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, what's it about? Monica Geller : I don't remember. Do you wanna take a walk? Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. Ross Geller : Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. How's it going. This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write. What the hell's a matter with you? How do you think Joey's going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter? Chandler Bing : Well, that's the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually I'll be in Cuba. Ross Geller : All right, look, look, you've got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy. Chandler Bing : What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela? Ross Geller : Where in Cuba? Chandler Bing : Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you? Chandler Bing : I'm here to see Mary-Angela. Joey Tribbiani : You are so the man! Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, 'cause my Grandma doesn't know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah. Chandler Bing : Where's Mary-Angela? Joey Tribbiani : She's right in there. Joey's Sisters : Hey, Chandler! Rachel Green : I can't believe Mark didn't call. It's Sunday night, and he didn't call. Ross Geller : Bummer. Rachel Green : Yeah, right. Look at you, you're practically giddy. Ross Geller : No, I'm genuinely sorry the Mark thing didn't work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, why don't you just call Mark. I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, you've got to make stuff happen. Ross Geller : But, you, you don't want to seem too pushy. Monica Geller : Honey, it's not pushy, he gave her his home number. Ross Geller : What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home? Rachel Green : Yeah, and you don't mind if I call, because you only want good things for me. Ross Geller : That's right good things, that-that is what I said. Rachel Green : Hello, Mark? Hi, it's Rachel Green. Oh no, don't you apologize. Yeah, I'll hold. He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers. Ross Geller : That is so made up! Rachel Green : Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, it's perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! I got the interview! Monica Geller : Yay! Ross Geller : There you go. Rachel Green : He even offered to meet me for lunch tomorrow to prep me for it. Monica Geller : Oh, that is amazing! Ross Geller : Yeah well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, I'd expect nothing less. Rachel Green : I got to figure out what I'm going to wear. Ross Geller : High collar and baggy pants say I'm a pro. Rachel Green : Yeah! Right! Okay, I'll see you guys later. Woo hoo! Ross Geller : You go get 'em. What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way? Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : 'Why don't you call him?!' Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend! Monica Geller : Are you crazy?! Ross Geller : Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal. Monica Geller : What?! Ross y'know this isn't even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if you're right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too? Ross Geller : No. Monica Geller : I mean don't you trust her? Ross Geller : Well, yeah! Monica Geller : Then get over yourself! Grow up! Ross Geller : You grow up. Chandler Bing : This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela? Joey's Grandmother : No! I did! Chandler Bing : Well, it's, it's yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it? Joey's Grandmother : Of course! It's her favorite. Chandler Bing : So um, Mary-Angela, what's your second favorite? Joey's Grandmother : More of Grandma's teramisu. Chandler Bing : Would you just please....give me the receipt 'cause this is great. It's top notch. Joey's Grandmother : That dies with me. Chandler Bing : So will I. Joey's Sister : Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no I was just squinting. That doesn't mean anything. Joey's Sister : Just do it. Chandler Bing : Will you excuse me I have to um..... Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey's Sister : Finally, I thought we'd never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. Chandler Bing : Look, I may have jumped the gun here. Um, I just got out of a relationship and I'm not really in a, in a commitment kind of place. Joey's Sister : So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips. Chandler Bing : Ahhhh, you're not Mary-Angela. Joey's Sister : No, I'm Mary-Theresa. Chandler Bing : This is so bad. If-if you're not Mary-Angela, then-then who is? Mary-Angela : I am! Chandler Bing : Oh, this is soo bad. Mary-Angela : Joey!!! Chandler Bing : No Joey! No Joey! Don't Joey! Joey! Joey Tribbiani : What's goin' on? Chandler Bing : You're it! Now run and hide! Mary-Theresa : It's no big deal. Chandler was just kissin' me because he thought I was Mary-Angela. Joey Tribbiani : What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela? Chandler Bing : I wasn't sure which one Mary-Angela was. Look, I'm sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar. Joey's Sister : I say, punch him Joey. #ALL# : Yeah! Punch him!! Chandler Bing : Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brother's not going to punch me. Are ya? Joey Tribbiani : Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought you'd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?! Chandler Bing : Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, you're my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again. Cookie Tribbiani : So what. I say, punch him. #ALL# : Yeah! Punch him! Punch him! Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! No, I'm not going to punch Chandler. Cookie Tribbiani : I'll do it. Joey Tribbiani : No you won't. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, he's sorry. But, you've got one more apology to make, all right, you've got to apologize to Mary-Angela. Chandler Bing : Okay, absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler Bing : You've got it. Joey Tribbiani : Cookie, now you can punch him! Chandler Bing : What?! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : What are you doing here? Ross Geller : Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : How'd did it go? Rachel Green : Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldn't shut up. Ross Geller : I'm so proud of you. Rachel Green : Me too! Ross Geller : Listen, I'm ah, I'm sorry I've been so crazy and jealous and, it's just that I like you a lot, so... Rachel Green : I know. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. Mark Robinson : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Hi Mark! Mark Robinson : Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job. Rachel Green : Oh, I did! Mark Robinson : Yes. Rachel Green : Oh my God!! Ross Geller : Congratu!! -lations-lations. Monica Geller : So ah, Phoebe, how was your date? Phoebe Buffay : Oh well y'know. Monica Geller : Yeah, I do know. Phoebe Buffay : Ick, you were eavesdropping. Rachel Green : Eavesdropping. Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. But I really like this guy. And I think he really happens to like me. Ross Geller : Maybe he's just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it? Ross Geller : Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too? Joey Tribbiani : All right, that's it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! But, is he a big guy? Ross Geller : Ah, we'll all go. Come on. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks you guys! Thank you. Chandler Bing : Don't worry. Phoebe Buffay : God, I hope they kick his ass! Rachel Green : Honey, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : Y'know if it's any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. Guy : May I help you? Rachel Green : Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress. Rachel Green : Tell him. Ross Geller : It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her! Chandler Bing : All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday? Ross Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist. Ross Geller : Oh God. Y'know, botanists are such geeks. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie? Ross Geller : Hmm? Oh, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Morning. Rach, I'm here with the purses! Chandler Bing : It must take you forever to find your keys. Rachel Green : Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Your welcome, oh please not the one with the turtles. Rachel Green : No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today. Ross Geller : Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch? Rachel Green : Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out. Ross Geller : Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job? Rachel Green : Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. Is this actually a lunchbox? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it. Rachel Green : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey, so can you make it on Friday? Ross Geller : What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again? Chandler Bing : Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper. Phoebe Buffay : A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich. Why don't you get a magician?! Chandler Bing : Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right. Ross Geller : She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, he's really good looking. What am I gonna do? Chandler Bing : Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! Don't cry outloud. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical? Chandler Bing : I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer. Joey Tribbiani : It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco. Ross Geller : Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em. Joey Tribbiani : Who? Chandler Bing : I'll get you the Cliff Notes. Joey Tribbiani : The what? Chandler Bing : The abridgment. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, okay. The what? Mark Robinson : ...and the style number, and the invoice number, and the shipping date. Good. Any questions so far? Rachel Green : Yeah. What kind of discount do we get? Mark Robinson : Twenty percent. Rachel Green : Oh!! I love this job! Wow! My first call. Mark Robinson : Here, let me. Rachel Green's line, how may I help you? Ross Geller : Hi, is Rachel there? Mark Robinson : And who may I say is calling? Ross Geller : This is Ross? Mark Robinson : Ross of..... Ross Geller : Of Ross and Rachel. Mark Robinson : Oh hi. It's, it's Mark. Ross Geller : Oh hey, hey Mark. Mark Robinson : Hey, hold on a second. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Hi honey! Ross Geller : Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone? Rachel Green : Oh, he's just goofing around. Ross Geller : Ohhhhh yeah, that's, that's funny. Why ah, why isn't he goofing around in his own office? Rachel Green : Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants. Ross Geller : Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she? Rachel Green : Oh! Oh my God! What did I just do? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. Mark, I need you! Ross Geller : Okay, bye-bye. Rachel Green : Ow! Ross!! Ross Geller : Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. Jeannine : All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it. Monica Geller : Please, I'm not going for anything. Jeannine : Well, if you don't, I will. Monica Geller : Would you please go? Jeannine : Night Mon. Night Julio. Julio (poet) : Adios. Monica Geller : Look Julio, someone left their book here. Julio (poet) : Ah actually, that is mine. Monica Geller : Oh yeah, what are you reading? Julio (poet) : Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it? Monica Geller : Have I read it? No, are you enjoying it? Julio (poet) : I thought I would, but the translation's no good. Monica Geller : Your a poet and don't know it. Julio (poet) : Actually I ah, I am a poet. Monica Geller : Oh, then you do know it. So um what kind of things do you write about? Julio (poet) : Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. Monica Geller : Mine? Right here? Julio (poet) : I can write an epic poem about this lip. Monica Geller : How would that go? Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it. Joey Tribbiani : You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, you've got to pick a pocket or two.......... Director : Lovely, just lovely. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Thanks. Director : Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday. Joey Tribbiani : Excellent, I'll be there. Director : Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part. Director : Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake. Chandler Bing : ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either. Phoebe Buffay : Well, can you dance at all? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I can dance, y'know. Chandler Bing : Oh no, no, no, no. Phoebe Buffay : What, what is that? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing. Chandler Bing : All right, I have to get that, but no-no. Hello? Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? So would I, would I have to provide the grapes? Monica Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita? Monica Geller : It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem. Joey Tribbiani : Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me. Chandler Bing : Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier. Joey Tribbiani : Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be? Monica Geller : Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. Joey Tribbiani : The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty... Chandler Bing : To yourself. Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good. Monica Geller : Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, I'm not done. Monica Geller : All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys. Chandler Bing : Bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica! Chandler Bing : What, what, what?! Phoebe Buffay : What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase! Chandler Bing : You really think that is what he meant? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too. Joey Tribbiani : Done. Mark Robinson : Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... Mark Robinson : Wh-what's that? Ross Geller : It's from Ross, it's a love bug. Mark Robinson : Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend. Rachel Green : Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic. Man : Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green? Rachel Green : Yes. Man : One, two, three... Quartet : Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before your the boss. The Bass Barber : Omm-pah, omm-pah, omm-pah. Quartet : And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend... The Bass Barber : It's nice to have a boyfriend. Quartet : Your loyal loving boyfriend Ross..... Ross! Ross Geller : I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt! Rachel Green : All right Ross!! I get it!! Ross Geller : I mean my God... Rachel Green : You're hurt! Ross Geller : ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!! Rachel Green : Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk! Ross Geller : I would never do that! Rachel Green : Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do. Ross Geller : Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot. Joey Tribbiani : Mark's a genius! Ross Geller : Why?! How?! How is he a genius? Chandler Bing : Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you. Ross Geller : What am I going to do? Chandler Bing : Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits. Ross Geller : I don't know you guys. Chandler Bing : All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.' Joey Tribbiani : And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!' Chandler Bing : He paints quite a picture doesn't he? Woman : Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December. Mark Robinson : And wait, I've got something for you. Woman : Mark!! Mark Robinson : It's okay, Rachel knows. Woman : Yeah, but even soo. Mark Robinson : I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you. Rachel Green : Ohhh! That is soo sweet! Mark Robinson : Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me. Ross Geller : All right that's, that's it!! Get off her! Mark Robinson : What is going on? Ross Geller : What's going on?! That's what's going on!! Rachel Green : Ross! Ross Geller : I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! Hi Rach. Director : Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island. Joey Tribbiani : So, does that mean the audition is off? Director : Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Director : Aw come on Joey, it's easy. Y'know, it's hand, hand, head, head, up, pas de bouree, pas de bouree, big turn here, grand sissone, sissone, sissone, slide back, step, step, step, and jazz hands! Joey Tribbiani : It's ah, step-ity, step and jazz hands. Director : Have fun. Joey Tribbiani : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : What are you wrapping? Monica Geller : Oh-ho, look what I got Julio. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's a vase. Monica Geller : Yeah, just like the one in the poem. Phoebe Buffay : Well not exactly like the one in the poem. Monica Geller : What do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh. Monica Geller : So! I'm just an empty vase, huh? Julio (poet) : What? Monica Geller : Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me. Julio (poet) : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Monica Geller : You don't even know me... Julio (poet) : Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you. Monica Geller : What? Julio (poet) : The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, my friend Phoebe... Julio (poet) : No, it's about all women. Well, all American women. You feel better now? Monica Geller : Oh yeah. Director : All right, let's do it! Director : No, no, no. What was that? Joey Tribbiani : I know, it was the best I could get out of them. Director : Well, people! Joey Tribbiani : People, people, people. Director : Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. Show 'em how it's done. Count it off. Rachel Green : So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. See, she's fully dressed, right? Rachel Green : Right. Chandler Bing : And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hello. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen. Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I was an idiot. Rachel Green : A big idiot. Ross Geller : A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me. Rachel Green : Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now? Ross Geller : Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away. Gunther : Let it be me! Let it be me! Rachel Green : Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. Ross Geller : I gotta get going. Bye Chandler. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn? Rachel Green : Where ya going? Ross Geller : Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon. Rachel Green : Ohh, with who? Ross Geller : Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party. Rachel Green : There was a woman at the... The stripper?! Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : You have a play date with a stripper?! Chandler Bing : Man, I gotta get a kid. Ross Geller : Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay? Rachel Green : Sure, is she married? Ross Geller : Ahh, no. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Are you jealous? Rachel Green : Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own? Ross Geller : You are totally jealous. Rachel Green : I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I... Ross Geller : Honey, I love you too. Rachel Green : Ugh. Wait, wait, wait. Ross Geller : What? Ross Geller : Huh. Rachel Green : Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper. Man : Is there a Julio here? Julio (poet) : I am Julio. Man : Mister Pretensous, you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner. Quartet : Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch. Bass Singer : No one likes a buttmunch. Quartet : And your also bad in bedd-edd-edd!. Monica Geller : Hi. Clerk : Six dollars, please. Monica Geller : Six? I just had it for one night. It's three. Clerk : Eight o'clock is the cut-off and, aww, it's 8:02. Monica Geller : Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, you're gonna have to help me out here, 'cause I only have three. Richard Burke : I can help with that. Monica Geller : Oh my God. Richard? Hi! Richard Burke : Hi! Monica Geller : Wow! Your lip went bald. Hey, thanks. Richard Burke : So, you look great. Monica Geller : Right. Richard Burke : No you do. You... just... Monica Geller : What? Richard Burke : You've got panties stuck to your leg. Monica Geller : That's because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and it's static cling. Or maybe it's just that God knew I'd be running into you and saw an opportunity. Richard Burke : It's good to see you. Monica Geller : It's good to see you too. Monica Geller : You see that guy? He's in classics now, but y'know as soon as we leave he's going straight to the porn. Richard Burke : He's gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. This is nice. Monica Geller : Yeah. Richard Burke : I missed this. Monica Geller : Me too. Richard Burke : So, you wanna get a hamburger or something? Monica Geller : Oh, um, I don't know if that's a good idea. Richard Burke : Oh. Look, just friends, I won't grope you. I promise. Monica Geller : No, I just I think that it's too soon. Richard Burke : No it's not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven. Chandler Bing : Yeah, baby! Ross Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Making chocolate milk. Do you want some? Ross Geller : No thanks. I'm 29. Rachel Green : Oh my God, I gotta go to work! Ross Geller : Oh sweetie, when do you think you're going to get off tonight? Rachel Green : Oh I don't know honey. It's gonna be really late. Ross Geller : Oh come on, not again. Rachel Green : I know. I'm sorry. Look, I'll make a deal with you all right? Okay? Ross Geller : Hmm. Rachel Green : For every night that you're asleep before I get home from work... Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : I will wake you up in a way that's proved very popular in the past. Ross Geller : Now, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that. Rachel Green : Right. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. #ALL# : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Look at you. Since when do you roller blade? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal that's he's going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff. Ross Geller : And what are you going to do for him? Phoebe Buffay : I'm going to let him. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Cool. Monica Geller : Morning. #ALL# : Hey. Rachel Green : Somebody got in late last night. Monica Geller : Yeah well, I ran into Richard. Rachel Green : When did this happen? Monica Geller : Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, there's no such thing as an innocent burger. Ross Geller : So, are you gonna see him again? Monica Geller : Tomorrow night. Rachel Green : Monica, what are you doing? Chandler Bing : Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now she's celebrating that by going on a date with him. Monica Geller : It's not a date, okay. I'm just gonna teach him how to make lasagne for some pot luck dinner he has. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know you'll probably be hungry after the sex. Monica Geller : We're not gonna have sex! Okay, nothing's changed here. He still doesn't want children and I still do, so that's why we're just gonna be friends. Ross Geller : Naked friends. Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Do you have any ice? Joey Tribbiani : Check the freezer. If there's none in there, then we're probably out. Are you just getting in from work? It's late. Rachel Green : Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day? Joey Tribbiani : I discovered I'm able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue. Rachel Green : Hmm. Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I was reading it last night, and I got scared, so. Rachel Green : But ah, you're safe from it if it's in the freezer? Joey Tribbiani : Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure we've got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know. Rachel Green : How often do you read it? Joey Tribbiani : Haven't you ever read the same book over and over again? Rachel Green : Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean that's a classic, what's so great about The Shining? Joey Tribbiani : The question should be Rach, what is not so great about the shining. Okay? And the answer would be nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet it's way better than that classic of yours. Rachel Green : Okay. Ah, well we'll just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, and you will read Little Women. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you got it. Rachel Green : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, now Rach, these ah, these little women. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little? Phoebe Buffay : Um, Chandler, Ross, this is Robert. Chandler Bing : Oh, hey. Robert Bobby : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : You've have lipstick right here . That's okay, it's mine, we just kissed. Ross Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : So ah, isn't a bit cold out for shorts? Robert Bobby : Well, I'm from California. Chandler Bing : Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flames. Chandler Bing : I'm up! I'm up, I've gotten up now! Anybody ah, want anything? Phoebe Buffay : I'll have coffee. Robert Bobby : Yeah, me too. Ross Geller : Yeah, make that three. Chandler Bing : Okay Ross, why don't you come with me? Ross Geller : Okay. What ah, what is the matter with you? What's going on? Chandler Bing : Robert's coming out. Ross Geller : What, what do you mean, what? Is he gay? Chandler Bing : No. He.....he's coming out of his shorts. Ross Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : The man is showing brain. Ross Geller : Are you sure? Hold on. I'm sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a.... Robert Bobby : Coffee. Ross Geller : Okay. Robert Bobby : We could write it down for you? Ross Geller : No, no, that won't be ah, that won't be necessary Chandler Bing : Wellll? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, yeah! Chandler Bing : What do we do? What do we do? Ross Geller : Well, I suppose we just try to not look directly at it. Chandler Bing : Like an eclipse. Richard Burke : So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say? Monica Geller : You say 'Thank you very much,' and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, we're gonna put are hands in this bowl, and we're gonna start squishing the tomatoes. Richard Burke : Ew, this feels very weird. Monica Geller : You touch people's eyeballs every day and this feels weird. Richard Burke : Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. That's my hand. Monica Geller : Oops. Richard Burke : Okay. Monica Geller : Gotta keep squishing. Richard Burke : Tomatoes are squishing. Monica Geller : Okay. Richard Burke : Op. Monica Geller : Oh, gosh, you got some on your shirt. Richard Burke : Yeah. Monica Geller : Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it and it should umm, be..... Richard Burke : What? Monica Geller : Umm, you've got some on your pants. Richard Burke : I'll just throw them out. Joey Tribbiani : These little women. Wow! Chandler Bing : Your liking it, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! Amy just burned Jo's manuscript. I don't see how he could ever forgive her. Ross Geller : Umm, Jo's a girl, it's short for Josephine. Joey Tribbiani : But Jo's got a crush on Laurie. Oh. You mean it's like a girl-girl thing? 'Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining. Chandler Bing : No, actually Laurie's a boy. Joey Tribbiani : No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey! How'd the ah, basketball go? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, I learned how to shoot a lay-up, a foul shot, and a twenty-three pointer. Chandler Bing : You mean a three pointer? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I get more because I'm dainty. Robert Bobby : So um, is there a phone here, I can check my messages? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, in the back. You want a quarter? Robert Bobby : Oh, no thanks. I always carry one in my sock. Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Get back over on your side of the... Hello!! Hi, I'm Joey, we haven't met. Robert Bobby : Ah, good to meet you. Robert. Phoebe Buffay : What? What? You guys, what is going on? You not like Robert? Why are you laughing?! Ross Geller : Calm down. There's no reason to get testy. Phoebe Buffay : You guys!! Come on! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it just seems that Robert isn't as concealed in the shorts area, as ah, one may have hoped. Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean? Robert Bobby : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Robert, could you ah, ha, pass me those cookies? Robert Bobby : Sure. Monica Geller : So, how'd the lasagne go over? Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about you too. I know. It's hard this whole platonic thing. It's a word! Monica Geller : Yeah, I do think it's better this way. Yeah, we're being smart. Yes, I'm sure. Richard Burke : You really sure? Monica Geller : I'll call you back. Monica Geller : So we can be friends who sleep together. Richard Burke : Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball. Monica Geller : Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies? Richard Burke : Just your dad. Although that's actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sister's neighbour next Tuesday. Monica Geller : Oh. Richard Burke : You want me to cancel it? Monica Geller : No! No! Richard Burke : Okay. Monica Geller : 'Cause if you do that means you'd be cancelling it for me, and we're just friends. Richard Burke : Exactly. Robert Bobby : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ooh! Don't sit down! Robert Bobby : You ready to go to the batting cage? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. And, first here's a gift. Robert Bobby : Oh! Wow! Hey! Chandler Bing : Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you I would wear them every day, every day! Robert Bobby : Jeez, thank you really that is so nice. But um, to be honest, I don't think I can wear these, they're so tight, I feel like I'm on display. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : That's all right, that's well, I figured.... Robert Bobby : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How's it going? Ross Geller : Good. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining? Rachel Green : Oh, Danny just went into room 217. Joey Tribbiani : Oooh, the next part's the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub... Rachel Green : Oh, no, meh-nah-nah-nah, come on you're gonna ruin it! Joey Tribbiani : All right I'll talk in code. Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway? Chandler Bing : Hmmm, that's very cool. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, all blank, and no blank, make's blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww! Rachel Green : Joey! I can't believe you just did that! Chandler Bing : I can't believe she cracked your code! Rachel Green : All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though she's still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad. Rachel Green : Eh. Beth dies. Joey Tribbiani : Beth, Beth dies? Rachel Green : Um-hmm. Joey Tribbiani : Is that true? If I keep reading is Beth gonna die? Chandler Bing : No, Beth doesn't die, she doesn't die. Does she Rachel? Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Joey's asking if you've just ruined the first book he's ever loved that didn't star Jack Nicholson? Rachel Green : No. She doesn't die. Joey Tribbiani : Then why would you say that?! Rachel Green : Because, I wanted to hurt you. Robert Bobby : Oh, there they are! I-I dropped my keys. Rachel Green : Oh my.... Robert Bobby : Got 'em. Monica Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Sorry. I'm sorry. Monica Geller : You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, in a grill fire. Monica Geller : What are you smiling at? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, I was just thinking you're day could still pick up. Monica Geller : Yeah, right. Richard Burke : Hello. Monica Geller : I love this friend thing! Phoebe Buffay : Listen, Robert's gonna be here any second so, will one of you just tell him? Ross Geller : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Please, right now, no, every time I see him it's like 'Is it on the lose?' 'Is it watching me?' Chandler Bing : We can't tell him, you can't go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff. Ross Geller : He's right, even if it's to say something complementary. Robert Bobby : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Robert Bobby : So are ready for the gym? They've got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other. Phoebe Buffay : No, I can spot you from here. Robert Bobby : What? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, listen Robert... Ross Geller : Hey, don't we have to... Chandler Bing : Yeah, we got, um-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I think you're really, really great... Robert Bobby : Oh God! Here we go again. Why does this keep happening to me? Is it something I'm putting out there? Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts? Phoebe Buffay : I-I-I-I-I don't know, I don't know what to say. Gunther : Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house. Monica Geller : Ow! Richard Burke : Really?! Well, it's just like everyone else's apartment. It's got rooms, walls, and ceilings. Richard's Date : Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oh my God! Richard Burke : Ah well, this is the living room. Richard's Date : Impressive. Richard Burke : All right. This is the kitchen. Richard's Date : Oh, that's real pretty. Wait a minute, don't I get to see the bedroom? Richard Burke : The bedroom. Well it's pretty much your typical... bedroom. Richard's Date : We're still on this side of the door. Richard Burke : Um-hmm. Richard's Date : Yeah, but I didn't get to see it. Richard Burke : Oh shoot! Maybe next time. Thanks for a lovely evening. Monica Geller : So um, who was she? Richard Burke : Oh, that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today. Monica Geller : Did you like her? And I'm just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this. Richard Burke : Well, you seem fine. Monica Geller : Okay, y'know what, I'm not fine, I'm not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... Y'know what, what if we're friends who don't see other people? Richard Burke : You mean like exclusive friends? Monica Geller : Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever. Richard Burke : Wow. Y'know we're back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothing's changed. Monica Geller : That's not true, you don't have a moustache. Richard Burke : Okay, okay, one thing's changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end. Monica Geller : Y'know what, I've got to walk out of here right now, 'cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I don't think I could do it again. Richard Burke : I know I couldn't. So.... Monica Geller : How 'bout one last game of racquetball? Monica Geller : Watch the thorns! Richard Burke : Ow!! Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Beth is really, really sick. Rachel Green : Awwww. Joey Tribbiani : Jo's there, but I don't think there's anything she could do. Rachel Green : Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Do you want to put the book in the freezer? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Singer : 'Cause every time I see your face, I can't help but fall from grace. I know..... Joey Tribbiani : Wow! This girl is good. Phoebe Buffay : Oh-ho yeah! A song with rhyming words. Oo, I never thought of that before. Chandler Bing : I like her. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time? Chandler Bing : Well, that's pretty much all I'm looking for from these people. Monica Geller : Look at you. All jealous. Ross Geller : Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, she's more.. y'know, and you're more Singer : beside meeeee-eeee-ee. . Phoebe Buffay : Okay, see, see, everyone else is happy she's done. Singer : Okay, my next song's called Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say. I Really Loved When We Were Singing Partners, And I Shouldn't Have Left You That Way. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, one of those 'look for the hidden meaning' songs. Singer : Hey Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Leslie, how'd you know I'd be here? Leslie : I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish, and he said you played here a lot, so umm.... Chandler Bing : All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. I'd like know whether that's several big fish or just one big fish. Joey Tribbiani : So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles. Phoebe Buffay : Actually I said she abandoned me to write jingles. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, anything we might of heard of? Leslie : Ah, yeah, umm. Home is never far away.. Joey Tribbiani : Home is Home Star stew. Leslie : Yeah, but, I don't do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldn't come up with anything good, so they fired me. Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, bummer. Leslie : Well, I y'know, I was just, umm, I was just thinking and hoping, that umm, maybe you'd want to get back together? Phoebe Buffay : No. But thanks. Leslie : Aw come on Phoebe would you just think about it? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. No. But thanks. Leslie : Okay, ah, see ya Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, that was kinda brutal. Phoebe Buffay : Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, y'know. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. Can I have a tissue, please? Monica Geller : Yeah, sure. Gunther : Someone in there? Chandler Bing : No. This is just part of a dare devil game that I play called 'wait until the last moment before I burst and die.' Chandler Bing : Jeez, man did you fall.. Hi! So ah, did ya, did-did-did ya fall high? Woman : Someone was in the lady's room, I couldn't wait. I left the lid up for ya though. Chandler Bing : Y'know what Gunther, go ah, go ahead, I'm-I'm talking to ah, . This is the part where you say your name. Woman : Ginger. Chandler Bing : Ginger. I'm talking to Ginger, so.... Ginger : Don't you have to use the bathroom? Chandler Bing : Nope, nope, I'd just ah, I'd rather talk to you. Yes, I do. Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom. Gunther : Someone in here. Phoebe Buffay : Where's Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, he can't make it, he said he had to his... Whoa-oh! Ginger : Joey? Joey Tribbiani? Ginger : Joey I can see you okay? You're hiding behind the coats. Joey Tribbiani : Phew, close one. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi, sweetie! Ross Geller : Hello. Mark Robinson : Hi, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah, huh. Rachel Green : I've got some bad news. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I have to come back up here. Ross Geller : Come on sweetie! You've had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time? Mark Robinson : Actually, it's kinda my fault. I-I quit today. Ross Geller : But work comes first! Oh hey, but that's sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya? Rachel Green : Nooo, he's leaving for a better job. Ross Geller : Oh well that's great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? Good bye. Mark Robinson : Okay, then. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Well we're gonna miss you around here. Mark Robinson : Yeah, me too. Mark Robinson : So, see ya on Saturday. Rachel Green : Yeah, you bet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : Y'know those are a delicacy in India. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. That's the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie! Monica Geller : Wow, she must have hurt you pretty bad, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah. Y'know, we were best friends, ever since we were little, our Moms worked on the barge together. Monica Geller : Oh, you two must have been so cute running around on a barge. Phoebe Buffay : You never run on a barge! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Is ah, is Chandler around? Monica Geller : No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house. Joey Tribbiani : Oooh. Monica Geller : Yeah, Ginger something. Joey Tribbiani : Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasn't something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer? Monica Geller : No, it was Ginger. I remember, because when he told me, I said, 'the movie star.' Joey Tribbiani : Aww, man. That's the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out he's my roommate, she's gonna tell him what I did. Monica Geller : Well, what did you do? Joey Tribbiani : What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I can't, I can't tell you that, it's like the most awful, horrible thing I've ever done my whole life. Monica Geller : Y'know what, don't tell us. We'll just wait until Chandler gets home, because it'll be more fun that way. Joey Tribbiani : All right!! Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dad's cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner.... Monica Geller : You gave her food poisoning!? Joey Tribbiani : I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! You threw Pepper on the fire! Joey Tribbiani : I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably should've told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a ah, artificial leg. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire? Joey Tribbiani : I ran!! Chandler Bing : Well, that's the best kiss I've had with anyone I've ever met in a men's room. Ginger : Actually, me too. Chandler Bing : Op, foot in a puddle, foot all in a puddle. Ginger : Oh damn, I hate that. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we're gonna have to get you out of those shoes. Ginger : Oh, don't worry about it. Chandler Bing : No, really you're gonna freeze. Ginger : No, I'm not. Chandler Bing : You're not, what do you, what do you got a bionic foot? Ginger : Some day, maybe. Rachel Green : Funny book? Ross Geller : Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying 'I'll see you Saturday.' Rachel Green : Yeah, at the lecture, I told you that last week, you said you didn't mind. Ross Geller : Oh, no, no, no, it's-it's not the lecture ah, I mind, umm.... Rachel Green : Oh, please tell me it's not because I'm going with Mark. Ross Geller : Oh, well... Rachel Green : Oh my God!!! Ross!! Ross Geller : Well, I'm sorry, but ah, look if you're not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him? Rachel Green : Because, he's my friend. Ross Geller : Okay, but do you really need another friend? I mean... Rachel Green : Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark? Ross Geller : Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing? Rachel Green : I don't know, you thought 'See you Saturday' was funny. Look honey, Mark is in fashion okay, I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with. You guys would never want to go to a lecture with me. Ross Geller : Pa-haa!! I would love to go with you. Rachel Green : Really!? Ross Geller : Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger. Rachel Green : Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. What? Ross Geller : What should I wear, now I'm all nervous. Monica Geller : Y'know they say a watched pot never beeps. Phoebe Buffay : It's just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasn't called. Not that I even care, y'know. Monica Geller : Phoebe why don't you just call her? You obviously want to. Phoebe Buffay : You think you know me so well. Monica Geller : Well, don't 'cha wanna? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Okay, well I do know you. Phoebe Buffay : That's what I said. Monica Geller : Well so? Phoebe Buffay : I can't. I can't. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was 'Okay, bye Pheebs' gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun I've ever had in like all my lives. Leslie : My best shoes, so good to me. I wear them everyday. Down at the heel, holes in the toes. Don't care what people say. My feet's best friends, pals to the end. With them I'm one hot chicky. Though late one night, not much light, I.... Phoebe Buffay : I stepped in something icky. Leslie : Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, always make me smile. Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, next time I'll.... avoid the..... pillleeeee. Lecturer : We're beginning to see a lot of layering of sheer fabrics and colours. For instance a sheer navy blouse over a pink.... Ross Geller : I'm really glad we came. You're so pretty. I love you. Rachel Green : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault. Leslie : Wow, that's great. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Leslie : Y'know you could totally sell this. It'd be perfect for like umm, a kitty litter campaign. Phoebe Buffay : I..., a jingle? No, no-no-no, no. Leslie : What? Why not? You could make a ton of money. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well if I was in this for the money, I'd be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie. Leslie : Aw, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : That's okay. All right, I'm gonna play song that's really, really sad. It's called Magician Box Mix Up. Lecturer : ....oversized bracelets, oversized earrings, oversizing of accessories in general are very popular now. Monica Geller : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh, can I borrow this? My milk's gone bad. Chandler Bing : Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car. Monica Geller : So umm, how was your date with Ginger? Chandler Bing : Great. It was great. She's ah, she's great, great looking, great personality, she's greatness. Monica Geller : Sounds like she's got the ah, whole package. Chandler Bing : Joey told you about the leg, huh? Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldn't have, but it did. I mean I like her, I don't want to stop seeing her, but every so often it's like 'Hey, y'know what, where's your leg?' I mean I'm the smallest person in the world aren't I? I'm the smallest person in the world. Joey Tribbiani : Morning. Chandler Bing : Actually he's the smallest person in the world. Joey Tribbiani : Heard about the leg burnin' huh? Chandler Bing : It came up. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I ah, I know it's a longshot. But, by any chance did she find that funny? Ross Geller : So I nodded off a little. Rachel Green : Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My father's boat didn't make that much noise when it hit rocks! Ross Geller : Come on! Forty-five minutes! Forty-five minutes the man talked about strappy backed dresses. Rachel Green : Well okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and he's 'Hey everybody! Remember that thing that's been dead for a gazillion years. Well there's this little bone we didn't know it had!' Ross Geller : First of all it's Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didn't fly. Rachel Green : Okay, see now, what I just heard, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah, blah. Ross Geller : Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka. Rachel Green : Oh, that is so... Ross Geller : No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. Rachel Green : Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldn't go with Mark? Ross Geller : No. I... I wanted to be with you. I don't know, I feel like lately, I feel like you're slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and you've got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know it's dumb, but I hate that I'm not a part of it. Rachel Green : It's not dumb. But, maybe it's okay that you're not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? I mean it's like, I-I-I like that you're not involved in that part of my life. Ross Geller : That's a little clearer. Rachel Green : Honey see, it doesn't mean that I don't love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work it's-it's for me y'know, I'm out there, on my own, and I'm doing it and it's scary but I love it, because it's mine. I, but, I mean is that okay? Ross Geller : Sure, I-I-I... Ginger : Your thinking about my leg aren't you? Chandler Bing : No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again? Ginger : It's okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is 'how much it bothers you?' because I don't like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time? Chandler Bing : No. No. I don't think so. Ginger : Okay. It's just like anything else, you just have to get used to it. Ginger : What's that? Chandler Bing : That's-that's my nubbin. Ginger : What's a nubbin? Chandler Bing : It's kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing. Ginger : You have three nipples? Chandler Bing : Well, y'know two regulars. And ah one that barely qualifies as... Ahh, what? Ginger : Nothing. I, I just remembered I have to leave. Chandler Bing : You ah, you have, you have to leave, now? How come? Ginger : Ah well, it's nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, I'll see you later. Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I thought you weren't coming. What? Where were you? Leslie : Come here, come here. Okay, don't get mad, okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't give me a reason to get mad, okay Leslie : I played Smelly Cat for the people at my old ad agency, they went nuts. Phoebe Buffay : No, look, I told you that I didn't want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably would've done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I can't trust you then just forget it. Leslie : No, no, I don't want to forget it. Phoebe Buffay : Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we won't be partners. So what's it gonna be? Commercial : Problem odour in the litter box? Don't change your kitty, change your kitty litter. Monica Geller : Sorry, Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. You okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-life's gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : We'd love too. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. 'Jingle bitch screwed me over! Go to hell jingle whore! Go to hell Go to hell. Go to hell-hell-hell.' That's all I have so far. Chandler Bing : Well hello! Joey Tribbiani : Where have you been? Chandler Bing : The doctor. Ross Geller : Is everything okay? Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Just had me a little nubbin-ectomy. Yep! Two nipples, no waiting. Monica Geller : Wow! It's like Rachel in High School. Rachel Green : What?!! Monica Geller : Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke! Chandler Bing : That was an obvious joke, and I didn't think of it. Why didn't I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives? Monica Geller : I won't give you anything, but you'll owe me 2.95. Joey Tribbiani : Done. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas! Monica Geller : Why? Do you have a report due? Phoebe Buffay : I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I don't know where his country is. Monica Geller : Okay, let's start with the free messages outside the UN. Phoebe Buffay : Oh!! That's my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace. Monica Geller : Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from? Phoebe Buffay : Ick-neck-tree-anis..... There's a 'g' in there. Monica Geller : Where's that? Phoebe Buffay : In your atlas! Monica Geller : I don't have an atlas. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : Oh, but wait I do have a globe. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : Hold on. Joey Tribbiani : So Pheebs what's this guy like? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well he's very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesn't speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me. Monica Geller : 'Kay, here you go. Phoebe Buffay : What is this? Monica Geller : It's a globe and, a pencil sharpener. Chandler Bing : Hey, does anybody need anything copied? I'm going down to the Xerox place. Monica Geller : Oh, no thanks. Chandler Bing : Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of. Monica Geller : Well, if you don't have anything to copy, why are you going down there? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again? Chandler Bing : Yeah! You wanna come? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!! Issac : Can I help you? Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, y'know what, we're having second thoughts about our copying needs. And we'll need a little more time to think about it. Issac : Chloe, switch with me, there's some guys here that got a crush on you. Chandler Bing : Okay, that hurt us. Chloe : Hi guys. I haven't seen you since this morning. Chandler Bing : Well ah, ........y'know. Chloe : Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night? Joey Tribbiani : Both of us? Chloe : Maybe. Does that scare ya? Chloe : Relax. It's just Issac's D.J.-ing at the Philly. You should come. Joey Tribbiani : We'll be there. Chloe : Great. I'll ah, see ya then. Chandler Bing : All right, rock on. Sergei :  Mischa : He's says, 'Walking with you makes this strange city, feel like home.' Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So that's dumb what I said, don't tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. Nice, thank you. This is me. Here. Mischa : Your eyes are very pretty. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you, very much! Oh! Thank you! Mischa : He would like to kiss you. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, y'know what, you don't have to do that now. No-no-no-no!! Not him, you don't! Well the moment's over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Mischa : Oy! Phoebe Buffay : See there it is right there. Monica Geller : Wow! It's small. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it. Monica Geller : So you had fun, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Except for, y'know when you're on a date and you're getting along really great but the guy's translator keeps getting in the way. Monica Geller : No. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : What is ah, Rach in her room? Monica Geller : Oh no, she's still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her. Ross Geller : Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesn't she know it's our anniversary? Monica Geller : All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. Call Rachel. Ross Geller : What's that on the bottom? Monica Geller : Oh that's my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. She's fancy. Rachel Green : Hello. Ross Geller : Hey, honey. Rachel Green : Oh, hi. Ross Geller : Hey, what's going on? Rachel Green : Well, there was a disaster in shipping and I've got to get this order in. Honey, I'm so sorry, but it looks like I'm gonna be here all night. Ross Geller : What, do you, well umm, oh how about I come up there? Rachel Green : No-no-no, no, honey please, I've got, I've just have so much to deal with. Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, I'm going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translator's date? So that when we, it's time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, he's really, he's kinda cute. Monica Geller : Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, don't call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry! Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what, maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, 10:30. Chandler Bing : What time is it now? Joey Tribbiani : 4:30. Chandler Bing : Yeah all right, so we'll hang out. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us? Chandler Bing : Yes. Vividly. Joey Tribbiani : She was kidding about that right? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I-I-I think so. Yeah, I-I think so... Joey Tribbiani : God, that would be weird it that situation presented itself tonight, huh? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Yeah, I mean what, what would we do? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I don't know. Chandler Bing : She was kidding. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : She was.... But y'know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you don't want to be doing something and then look up and see something you don't want to be seeing. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... Joey Tribbiani : Ah!! Okay! Eyes open at all times! Oh, hey, how do we decide where we... y'know each would, y'know be? Chandler Bing : Right. Right. Well ah, y'know we could flip for it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess, but what's like heads and what's tails? Chandler Bing : Well it you don't know that, then I don't want to do this with you. Rachel Green : No, no, no, I'm looking at a purchase order right here and it clearly states that we ordered the Rivera bikini in a variety of sizes and colours. And.... What does it matter, what I'm wearing?! Can I please speak to your supervisor? Thank you. We're holding. Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Oh!! My God, what are you doing here? Ross Geller : Well you said you couldn't go out so.... Sophie : You brought a picnic, oh, what a boyfriend. That's it, on Monday I start wearing make-up. Rachel Green : Ross honey, this is very nice, but, but I-I got a crisis. Ross Geller : Yeah, but I got cous-cous! Rachel Green : Honey, honey, I'm sorry, I know it's our anniversary but I told you on the phone I don't have time to stop. Ross Geller : Okay, you don't have to stop, I'm invisible, I'm not here. Rachel Green : But I don't, hmm... Oh, who approved that order?! Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. Get me Mark on the phone! Sophie : I love Mark. Do you know Mark? Ross Geller : Yeah!! Rachel Green : Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I... Ross Geller : Pepper? Rachel Green : None for me. Ross Geller : Okay sorry, whew. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and I'm sorry but that's... Oh my God!! Ross Geller : Okay, that's a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Rachel Green : Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to call you back, I've got a Schemp in my office. What are you doing? Ross Geller : I'm sorry. But ah, hey, oh, somebody's off the phone, how 'bout a glass of wine by the fire, I could get it going again. Rachel Green : Ross you're not listening to me, I don't have time to stop. Ross Geller : Come on Rach, you don't have what, ten minutes? Rachel Green : I don't have ten minutes!! Ross Geller : What? Sophie, does she have ten minutes? Rachel Green : Hey, Ross!!! I told you I don't! Ross Geller : Don't yell at me okay, this is the most I've seen you all week. Rachel Green : Look, I cannot do this right now, okay, I've got a deadline, would you just go home, I'll talk to you later. Ross Geller : Yeah, but wait... Rachel Green : Good bye! Sophie : Actually, that's our three hole punch. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi. Look um, about what happened earlier... Ross Geller : No, hey, well, I-I completely understand. You were, you were stressed. Rachel Green : I was gonna give you a chance to apologise to me. Ross Geller : For what? For letting you throw me out of your office? Rachel Green : You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebody's work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger! Ross Geller : Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I. Rachel Green : But I told you, I didn't have the time! Ross Geller : Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I don't feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel. Rachel Green : Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend? Ross Geller : No, but it'd be nice if you realised, it's just a job! Rachel Green : Just a job! Ross Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I'm doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I'm doing something that I'm actually good at. I mean. if you don't get that... Ross Geller : No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I'm happy for ya, but I'm tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don't know what to do anymore. Rachel Green : Well neither do I! Ross Geller : Is this about Mark? Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : Okay, it's not, it's not. Rachel Green : Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you're, you're, you're making this too hard. Ross Geller : Oh I'm, I'm making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do. Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, fine, you're right. Let's ah, let's take a break, let's cool off, okay, let's get some frozen yogart, or something.. Rachel Green : No. A break from us. Chloe : And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71. Chloe : Hey, it's the dinosaur guy. Hi, Ross. Ross Geller : Oh, hi Chloe. Chloe : I want you to met some friends of mine. This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we don't do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say 'let's Ross it!' Chandler Bing : And that's the only colour that comes in. Issac : Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine? Chloe : Oh! Chandler Bing : So, what are you doing here? I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner. Ross Geller : Yeah, little change in plans. Ahh, we're gonna break-up instead. Monica Geller : Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Why? What did I say? Mischa : Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight. Monica Geller : Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice. Phoebe Buffay : Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times. Phoebe Buffay : You didn't say Boutros Boutros Gali. Mischa : Boutros Boutros Gali. Mischa : He says he was too. Phoebe Buffay : Interesting. Mischa : So I was wondering.... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, ah, before you get all talky again, umm, could you also please tell Sergei that I really like his suit. Mischa : Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. So you're a chef? Monica Geller : I'm also thinking about opening up my own restaurant. Mischa : Oh, really. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. What are you doing? Monica Geller : Well, I was having a conversation. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah but, Mischa is so interested in you, that Sergei and I haven't been able to say two words to each other. Monica Geller : What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation? Phoebe Buffay : That would be great. Thank you. Rachel Green : Hello! Mark Robinson : Oh, hi. It's Mark. Rachel Green : Oh. Mark Robinson : What? Is it my breath? Rachel Green : No! Sorry, I just thought you were somebody else. Hi! Mark Robinson : Hi. Well, look, I was just gonna leave a message, isn't tonight your, your big anniversary dinner? Rachel Green : Yeah. Well, umm..... Mark Robinson : Rach, are you okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm fine. Mark Robinson : You wanna talk, I mean I can come over? Rachel Green : No! Really, no, please, please, that's, that's okay. Mark Robinson : All right, all right, I'm coming over, and I'm bringing Chinese food. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, I'm not, I'm not hungry. Mark Robinson : It's for me. Rachel Green : Oh. Okay, bye. Joey Tribbiani : So what are you gonna do? Ross Geller : What can I do? One person wants to break-up, you break-up. Chandler Bing : Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out. Ross Geller : Oh come on, we just had this huge fight, all right, don't I have to wait a while? Chandler Bing : Hey, this isn't like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!! Chandler Bing : Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, tell that to my Uncle Lenny. Chandler Bing : Why? What happened to him? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing, he's just really believes in that. Rachel Green : Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I don't want to take a break. Mark Robinson : Wow. I'm sorry. Eggroll? Rachel Green : No. And then I called him, and he wasn't there. Mark Robinson : Well, then he's, he's probably just, out. Rachel Green : Oh, thank you that's very helpful, I'm glad you came over. Rachel Green : Hello. Ross Geller : Hi! It's me. Rachel Green : Hi! Oh, I'm so glad you called. Ross Geller : Really? I've been thinking, this is crazy, I mean don't, don't you think we can work on this? Mark Robinson : Hey, what do you want to drink? Ross Geller : Who's that? Rachel Green : Nobody. Mark Robinson : Is it okay if I finish the apple juice? Ross Geller : Is that Mark? Rachel Green : Umm, honey, look he just came over to.... Ross Geller : Yeah! Got it! Chloe : Hey, dinosaur guy, look at you, so sad. Come dance. Ross Geller : Ah, that's okay, thanks. Chloe : Hey, you don't have to smile. You just have to dance. Ross Geller : Look, I don't feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay? Chloe : Oh, okay. Hey, two beers. Mischa : And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages. Monica Geller : Oh. Can I have a tissue? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, sure. I just hope you, hope you don't accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it. Mischa : Sergei, would like to apologise for my behaviour tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Well, tell him, apology accepted. Mischa : Oh, he's unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! You silly diplomat, why don't you learn some English, Sergei? Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, but umm, isn't he paying for your dinner? Monica Geller : Hey, the man's dog just died. Mischa : I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons. Monica Geller : It will be my pleasure. My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy can't even say coupons. Sergei : Uh, plate? Phoebe Buffay : Plate! Yes, plate. Sergei : Plate. Plate. Plate. Phoebe Buffay : See, we don't need them. Sergei : Plate? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Ross Geller : I like this song. Chloe : Well, you're practically dancing already. Why don't you just do it over here? Ross Geller : Oh, no, no. Chloe : What? Are you married? 'Cause that's okay. Rachel Green : Oh, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home. Be home. Be home, be home, be home. Oh, you're not home. Chloe : Still no smile? Sergei : Touchet, touchet, Miss Americccan pie. Ameri-ccan. Phoebe Buffay : Ameri-can. Sergei : Ameri-ccan. Phoebe Buffay : Ameri-can. Y'know it's a very hard language. Let's do it again. Sergei : Everybody!! Ross Geller : I mean, I don't feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore. Rachel Green : You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like you've got a girlfriend? Ross Geller : Is this about Mark? Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : Okay, it's not, it's not. Rachel Green : Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break. Ross Geller : Fine, you're right. Let's ah, let's take a break, let's cool off, okay, let's get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. Rachel Green : No. A break from us. Rachel Green : Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I don't want to take a break. Ross Geller : I've been thinking, this is crazy, I mean don't, don't you think we can work on this? Mark Robinson : Hey, what do you want to drink? Ross Geller : Who's that? Rachel Green : Nobody. Ross Geller : Is that Mark? Rachel Green : Umm, honey, look he just came over to.... Ross Geller : Yeah! Got it! Chloe : Hey, come dance. What? Are you married? 'Cause that's okay. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Monica Geller : How's the big anniversary dinner? Rachel Green : Well, we never actually got to dinner. Monica Geller : Ohhh, nice. Rachel Green : No, we kinda broke up instead. Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : God, Monica it's on the ceiling. Monica Geller : That's okay, this is more important than fruit on my ceiling! You broke up?! Rachel Green : Yeah, but it's okay, because when Ross left Mark came over. Monica Geller : Oh no!! Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Rachel, you and Mark?! Rachel Green : No, no-no, it's okay, calm down. Mark and I talked, and I realised how much I love your stupid brother, and, yeah, we got our problems, but I really want to make it work. Chloe : Morning! Rachel Green : Hi, it's me. I've been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid. Ross Geller : Yeah!! Rachel Green : Eh, I'm just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I don't want to get back together over a machine. Ross Geller : Na-huh. Rachel Green : So, I love you. Ross Geller : I love you. Rachel Green : And y'know what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to bed now, but ah, on my way to work tomorrow morning, I'm gonna stop by around 8:30. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Bye. Ross Geller : Chloe, Chloe how's it coming?!! Chloe : Hey, what kind of puppy do you think I should get? Ross Geller : Umm, oh, hey, I don't know. How about a big one? Chloe : But my apartment is so... Ross Geller : Well then a small one!! Listen, let's, we kinda have to get going! Chloe : Wait! Where's my shoes? Ross Geller : You, you sure you need shoes? Okay. Chloe : Do I know why we're rushing? Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!! Chloe : That's so great for you guys! Ross Geller : Yeah! Chloe : You must be so happy! Ross Geller : Yes, yes I am, one of the many things I'm feeling. Well.... Chloe : Good luck, with your girlfriend. Ross Geller : Oh, thank you. Hey, hey. Rachel!!!! Rachel Green : Hi. Ohhh, you got my message. Ross Geller : Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time. Rachel Green : So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again? Ross Geller : Yes, you can, very much. Ross Geller : Ahhhh!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling? Monica Geller : Oh, there's banana on it. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine. Monica Geller : So then you know? Phoebe Buffay : The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail. Monica Geller : Oh, good. Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Now what is Fabutec? Monica Geller : Okay, all right don't judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing.... Phoebe Buffay : Waxine!! Monica Geller : Yes! Have you seen it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl. Monica Geller : I know!! Phoebe Buffay : God. Do think it really doesn't hurt? 'Cause how can they do that? Monica Geller : Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest! Phoebe Buffay : They have the best stuff in there. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. We figured when we couldn't find you, you'd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh? Ross Geller : You think?! God, I, ah, I'm in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachel's all like, 'I love you and, and let's work on this.' And all I can think about is, 'What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say?' when I tell her what I did. Chandler Bing : Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you? Ross Geller : What?! Look, we're trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other? Joey Tribbiani : Look, Ross look, I'm on board about this totally honesty thing, I am, just not about stuff that's gonna get you in trouble. Chandler Bing : He's right. Nobody's gonna benefit, and you're just gonna hurt her. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and there won't be a relationship left to rebuild. Ross Geller : Yeah, but don't you think.... Chandler Bing : All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay. Joey Tribbiani : All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesn't find out some other way. Did you think about the trail? Ross Geller : What trail? Joey Tribbiani : The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! You always have to think about the trail! Ross Geller : Oh, I-I don't think there's any trail. Chandler Bing : Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issac's sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebe's friends with Rachel. And that's the trail, I did it! Phoebe Buffay : After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one, Monica Geller : Did that! Phoebe Buffay : Grasp one of the linen strips by its 'easy grab tab' and pull it off in one quick pain free motion. Monica Geller : Okay. Ow!!!!! Ow-oh-oh! Phoebe Buffay : Was it not pain-free? Monica Geller : No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with a little wax. Phoebe Buffay : Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial don't seem to think it's that bad. Monica Geller : That's because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you don't believe me, please, by my guest. Phoebe Buffay : Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!! Monica Geller : Now, are you glad we didn't start with the bikini strips? Ross Geller : Chloe? Hi.. Chloe : Is this about me taking your watch? Ross Geller : You took my watch? Chloe : I'm sorry, I do that. Ross Geller : Just you keep it, listen did you, did you tell anyone about us? Chloe : Oh no. I feel it isn't really anybody's business, y'know. Ross Geller : Exactly. So you didn't, didn't mention anything to Issac right? Chloe : Oh, well I tell Issac everything. Ross Geller : You tell, of course you do. Issac. Issac. Hey, Issac. Issac, hi! Y'know we haven't actually met... Issac : You dog! Ross Geller : Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend. Issac : Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's the one. Listen, I don't want to hurt her. Issac : Oh, hey, man I know, doesn't matter how much we love 'em, monogamy is too cruel a rule. Ross Geller : Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself? Issac : Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. We're the same, you and me. Ross Geller : Actually, no, we're not. Issac : Yeah, we are. Ross Geller : No, we're not. Issac : Yeah, we are. Ross Geller : No, we're not!! Issac : Okay, we're not. Ross Geller : Right. Issac : But, we are. Ross Geller : Fine. I just need to know that you're not gonna tell your sister. Issac : I can promise not to tell her again. Ross Geller : Jasmine? Jasmine : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : We met at Phoebe's birthday party, I'm, I'm Ross Geller. Jasmine : You did a bad thing! Ross Geller : Yes, I did. Jasmine : Very bad! Ross Geller : Very bad. Jasmine : Very, very bad. Ross Geller : I'm agreeing with you. Did you, listen, did you happen to tell Phoebe yet? Jasmine : No. Ross Geller : Okay, Jasmine, please, please don't. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay? Jasmine : All right. Ross Geller : Thank you, thank you. Jasmine : But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too. Ross Geller : Who's your roommate? Ross Geller : Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didn't say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place. Gunther : I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to? Monica Geller : Ow! Phoebe Buffay : Oh!! Monica Geller : Ow!! Ow!! Phoebe Buffay : Ow!!! Monica Geller : Ow!!!!!!! Ow-ow-ow-ow! Phoebe Buffay : We're all right. Monica Geller : It's okay, it's okay. Phoebe Buffay : We're all right. Monica Geller : We were just waxing our legs. Chandler Bing : Off?!! Phoebe Buffay : For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well I don't think you can make that statement, unless you've been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, that's all. I mean, come on, it's just a little wax. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, come here. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's mature. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, fine, so now what, I just pull it off? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : That's right. Ross Geller : Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!! Rachel Green : I can't talk to you. I can't even look at you right now! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing, nothing. Monica Geller : Rachel said everything was okay. Phoebe Buffay : What, what are they talking about? Ross Geller : Rachel? Rachel Green : Just get away from me! Ross Geller : No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay? Rachel Green : A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?! Phoebe Buffay : Whe-where did he put it?! Rachel Green : Ross, you had sex with another woman! Monica Geller : Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk.... Monica Geller : Oh!! You guys knew about this and you didn't tell us?! Chandler Bing : He has sex, and we get hit in our heads. Rachel Green : Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here! Ross Geller : No!! Rachel Green : Just get out! Now!! Ross Geller : No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this. Rachel Green : Okay! All right! How was she? Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Was she good? Joey Tribbiani : Don't answer that. Rachel Green : Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, let's talk about it!! How was she? Ross Geller : She was... Joey Tribbiani : Awful! Horrible! Chandler Bing : She was not good. Not good. Joey Tribbiani : She was nothing compared to you. Ross Geller : She, she was different. Joey Tribbiani : Ewwwww! Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Rachel Green : Good different? Ross Geller : Nobody likes change. Ross Geller : What? Okay, okay, okay, okay. Phoebe Buffay : Should we do something? Chandler Bing : Yeah, never cheat on Rachel. Ross Geller : I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible. Rachel Green : Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?! Ross Geller : Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me! Rachel Green : And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!! Ross Geller : Look, I didn't think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up. Rachel Green : We were on a break! Ross Geller : That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a break-up. Rachel Green : You think you're gonna get out of this on a technicality? Ross Geller : Look, I'm not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead! Rachel Green : Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what, I don't think we should listen to this anymore. Monica Geller : What, what are you doing? You can't go out there. Joey Tribbiani : Why not?! I'm hungry. Monica Geller : Because they'll know we've been listening. Rachel Green : God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!! Ross Geller : Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didn't happen! Rachel Green : Oh, that is so sweet. I think I'm falling in love with you all over again. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we'll be fine. Ross Geller : Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to. Chandler Bing : Wax the door shut, we're never leaving, ever. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, it's Phoebe. Listen someone's gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, 'cause it's like 9:15 now, and I'm not there. Ross Geller : Don't you realise none of this would've ever happened if I didn't think at that same moment you weren't having sex with Mark? Rachel Green : All right. Let's say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me? Ross Geller : Yes I would. Rachel Green : You'd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me? Ross Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were.... Ross Geller : La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because it's, I mean it's you. #ALL# : Ohhhhh! Ross Geller : What? Come on Rach, tell me what you're thinking? Rachel Green : I'm thinking, I'm gonna order a pizza. Ross Geller : Order a pizza like, 'I forgive you?' Joey Tribbiani : Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. Put olives on the pizza. Phoebe Buffay : We could eat the wax! It's organic. Chandler Bing : Oh great, food with hair on it. Phoebe Buffay : No, not the used wax. Chandler Bing : Because that would be crazy? Ross Geller : Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because I'm kinda hungry myself. Rachel Green : Fine. Hi! Yes, I'd like to order a large pizza. Ross Geller : No anchovies. Rachel Green : With ah, extra anchovies. Ross Geller : That's okay, I'll just pick 'em off. Rachel Green : Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce? Ross Geller : You can have the last piece, if you want. Rachel Green : Well, I should think so. You slept with someone. Phoebe Buffay : They're gonna get through this, aren't they? Chandler Bing : Yeah, come on, it's Ross and Rachel, they've got too. Monica Geller : What if they don't? Joey Tribbiani : You think I need a new walk? Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well y'know, I've been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a 'take notice' walk. Chandler Bing : Are you actually saying these words? Ross Geller : What, now you're not even taking to me? Look Rachel, I-I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought I'd lost you, I didn't know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I don't cheat right, I, that's not me, I'm not Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-ho-ho! Yeah, okay. Monica Geller : Hey. It's three in the morning. They don't know that I've come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, y'know, people can be so self-involved. Ross Geller : Y'know what, y'know what, I'm-I'm not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. You're the one that bailed on us. You're the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough! Rachel Green : That's.... Ross Geller : That's what?! Rachel Green : That is neither here nor there. Ross Geller : Okay, well here we are. Now we're in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? Look, I, I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And I'm sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I just can't see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much. Rachel Green : No Ross!! Don't! You can't just kiss me and think you're gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesn't work that way. It doesn't just make it better. Okay? Ross Geller : Okay, okay, okay. Rachel Green : I think you should go. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I really think you need to go now. Ross Geller : Okay, okay. This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldn't work past it together... Rachel Green : Yeah, what the hell did I know! Ross Geller : Look, look, there's got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, I can't imagine, I can't imagine my life without you. Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, and, and.... Rachel Green : No. I can't, you're a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just can't stop picturing with her, I can't, it doesn't matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It's just changed, everything. Forever. Ross Geller : Yeah, but this can't be it, I mean. Rachel Green : Then how come it is? Phoebe Buffay : They've been quiet for a long time. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe she killed him? Chandler Bing : Let's go. Chandler Bing : Is that your new walk? Joey Tribbiani : No, I really have to pee. Joey Tribbiani : Can I see the comics? Chandler Bing : This is the New York Times. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, may I see the comics? Monica Geller : Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game? Chandler Bing : We are. He's meeting us here. Monica Geller : No! Rachel is meeting us here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh come on, they can be in the same room. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you shoulda been there last night. Phoebe Buffay : Why? What happened now? Joey Tribbiani : Well Ross was hangin' out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler.... Chandler Bing : Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something. Joey Tribbiani : Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other. Phoebe Buffay : Wait. Why was he yelling at her? He's the one who slept with someone else. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now. Phoebe Buffay : Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first you're really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow. Chandler Bing : Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy.... Joey Tribbiani : I had the same dream! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I had the opposite dream. Chandler Bing : Y'know what maybe it's gonna be okay, I mean it's been a week. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I mean it's never taken me a week to get over a relationship. Monica Geller : It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship. Monica Geller : Okay, let's go!! Let's hit the road!! Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Let's get the show on it! Rachel Green : Okay, let me just get a cup of coffee. Monica Geller : Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and it's sooo close. Rachel Green : Closer than here? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, look, I found coffee! Okay, let's skedaddle. Rachel Green : Wait, I'm not just gonna drink somebody's old coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, your highness. Phoebe Buffay : Um, Rachel I'm really sorry. That's okay, do you wanna get back together? Yeah, okay. Did anyone else hear that?! Rachel Green : Is he here? Chandler Bing : No. Rachel Green : Oh. Here's your moisturiser. Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. Okay, I said that out loud right? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes, it's just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross. Rachel Green : Oh, well okay. Well, there you go. Phoebe Buffay : No, it's just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out. Rachel Green : Hm-mm. Chandler Bing : Yeah, he's really excited about it too, he even recorded show times on his answering machine. Rachel Green : Ohh! Monica Geller : We're sorry honey. Rachel Green : Oh, it's okay. Joey Tribbiani : Rach, it's, it's ah, it's not that we don't want to, really. Are we talking models in their underwear? Rachel Green : And heels. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside. Rachel Green : No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, that's only fair. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh boy, do I feel bad. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Monica Geller : Very bad. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler what are you doing?! Monica Geller : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : You're smoking again?! Chandler Bing : Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm, I'm smoking still. Phoebe Buffay : Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum? Chandler Bing : Look, I'm telling you this is just like my parents divorce, which is when I started smoking in the first place. Monica Geller : Weren't you nine?! Chandler Bing : Yeahhh. I'm tellin' ya something, that ah, first smoke after nap time.... Chandler Bing : Oh that's great, with my luck, that's gonna be him. Phoebe Buffay : Him? Him, Ross? Chandler Bing : Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. Rachel Green : Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? I'm asking you first, right?!. I mean I'm playing by the rules. #ALL# : Absolutely, yeah! Rachel Green : Chandler! You're smoking? What are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Hey, shut up!! You're not my real Mom!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here! Phoebe Buffay : Wait. Really?! 'Cause mine get me out of tickets. Ross Geller : Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. It's been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks. Chandler Bing : Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window. Ross Geller : Oh hey, hey, huh, how about this weekend we have a laser disc marathon okay, and maybe a tournament on my new dart board? Huh, huh, what do you think? Two days of darts, it'll be great! Joey Tribbiani : It'll be great for next weekend. Ross Geller : No, no, no, this weekend guys! Joey Tribbiani : It'll be great for next weekend. I mean, it'll be grrreat. Ross Geller : What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachel's sister's cabin. Ross Geller : So, for the whole weekend? Monica Geller : We're really sorry, but um, she did ask us first. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend I'm alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, I can stay, I'm gonna stay. 'Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmother's cab, but y'know what, I'll stay. Monica Geller : Noo! I'll stay. He's my brother. Ross Geller : What a pity stay? Monica Geller : No! We're gonna have fun. We can make fudge! Ross Geller : Pity food? Y'know what that's okay, all right, I don't need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays. Chandler Bing : Well, then, I might as well offer to stay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross? Monica Geller : Why? Do you think he's still mad at us? Chandler Bing : Well he's probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles. Joey Tribbiani : What? Mine aren't tinted. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : What does the sign say? Chandler Bing : Beam me up Jesus. Phoebe Buffay : No, the 'No Smoking' sign. There's no smoking in my Grandmother's cab. Chandler Bing : Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom. #ALL# : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Please! Monica Geller : No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on, there's a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, now I have to go!! Chandler Bing : Here we go. Okay, brace yourselves. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Ow! Phoebe Buffay : Aren't you gonna go? Rachel Green : No. Thank you. Monica Geller : No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms. Rachel Green : Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is 'no tissue, no tuschy.' Well, if everybody's going. Phoebe Buffay : No, y'know what don't close it 'cause the... keys...are in there. Chandler Bing : Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no!! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Chandler Bing : My lighter's in there! Chandler Bing : Damn! The tailpipe's not hot enough to light this! Joey Tribbiani : Relax okay, I-I-I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger? Chandler Bing : Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning. Monica Geller : So, if you're parents hadn't got divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person? Joey Tribbiani : Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra! Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Who has the biggest boobs? Monica Geller : Please!! Joey Tribbiani : Whoever has the biggest boobs, has the biggest bra, therefore has the biggest wire. The Girls : No, not getting my bra! Joey Tribbiani : If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire, your call. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Monica's are the biggest. Monica Geller : These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, it's gotta be Rachel. Rachel Green : What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra. Monica Geller : All right then, your bra would still be big. Rachel Green : No, I stuff outside the bra. Chandler Bing : Ladies, ladies, let's just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monica's bra. Phoebe Buffay : All right, forget it, nevermind, you can have mine. Rachel Green : Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there. Chandler Bing : Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, there. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous. Chandler Bing : Okay, now let's decide who has the nicest ass. Joey Tribbiani : And there you go! #ALL# : Oh, yeahhhhh!!! Monica Geller : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : At least let me smoke it to the good part. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh, no! Rachel Green : What, what's it, what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, this has happened before. Rachel Green : So you know how to fix it? Phoebe Buffay : Yep. Put more gas in. Carol Willick : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey. Carol Willick : Hey, what are you doing here? Ross Geller : Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home? Carol Willick : Ah yeah, but now it's Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home. Ross Geller : Where's Ben? Carol Willick : He's sleeping. Ross Geller : Ahh. Ooh, is this a ah, is this a bad time? Carol Willick : Umm, yeah, actually, Susan's gonna be home any minute, it's kinda an anniversary. Ross Geller : Oh! I thought you guys got married in uh, January? Carol Willick : It's not that kind of anniversary. Ross Geller : Ah! Oh. Carol Willick : Sooo!! Anyway... Ross Geller : Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. 'Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up. Carol Willick : Oh God, Ross I am so sorry. Ross Geller : Yeah, well. Carol Willick : Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, I'd love that. Carol Willick : Oh, great! Me too. Ross Geller : I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, yeah. Triple A can pick us up. Rachel Green : Great! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, what town are we near? Monica Geller : Freemont. West-Westmont, ah Westburg? Phoebe Buffay : Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route we're on? Rachel Green : Yeah, we are definitely on Route 27. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. There is no Route 27. Okay, either 93 or 76? Rachel Green : I don't know, I'm sorry, I always slept in the back when we drove up here. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? Okay! Yeah, no they don't do that. Rachel Green : Ugh, okay, well somebody will come and save us. Monica Geller : Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up. Rachel Green : No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here! Phoebe Buffay : But if... Rachel Green : No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, you'll have to think of something else. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back. Monica Geller : So the going for help went well? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed. Chandler Bing : I have the lung capacity of a two year old. Monica Geller : Then why are you smoking? Chandler Bing : Well it's very unsettling. Ross Geller : ....right? Right? I mean it's pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I don't, I don't need them, huh, I've got you guys now as friends, you and Susan. Carol Willick : Ah, Susan will be so pleased. Ross Geller : 717? Where's 717? Hey, you've have more of these for Susan right? Carol Willick : No. But it's okay, I'll just put out pickles or something. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, thank God. Ross Geller : Pheebs? What, why are you whispering? Phoebe Buffay : I ate a bug. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Let's stock up. Phoebe Buffay : Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we don't know where we are, so we can't get a tow truck. Ross Geller : Oh, now you want a favour? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, please. Ross Geller : Well, oh, I'm sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but I'm a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay? Carol Willick : Phoebe, hang on a second. Here, take my car, go pick up your friends. Ross Geller : No, I'm not gonna pick them up. Carol Willick : Listen, we both know you're gonna do it 'cause you're not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car. Ross Geller : No, Rachel doesn't want me to.... Carol Willick : Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you 'cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but don't punish your friends for what Rachel did to you. Ross Geller : Yeah, you're right. Carol Willick : Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. What? You slept with someone else?! Ross Geller : We were on a break!!! Okay!! We were, we were..., yeah. Where are you? I'll find you. Carol Willick : You slept with another woman? Ross Geller : Oh, you-you're-you're one to talk. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, done. Monica Geller : What's 'pleh'? Joey Tribbiani : That's 'help' spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air! Monica Geller : Huh. What's doofus spelled backwards? Rachel Green : Op, op, car! Car!! Ugh!!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's Ross on one of his drives! Chandler Bing : Hey!! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : What is he doing here?! Ross Geller : He is saving your butt, ah, unless of course I'm stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, I've got plenty of people to help on the Interstate. #ALL# : No! Come on! Rachel Green : All right!! Fine! Fine. Joey Tribbiani : Arrrghh!! Chandler Bing : Oh no, now it's not gonna make any sense! Phoebe Buffay : You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and we're then gonna go skiing? Chandler Bing : Oh, this is horrible, it's just horrible. Joey Tribbiani : Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along? Monica Geller : I know, what about Rachel? I mean how are we even gonna ask her? Rachel Green : Ask me what? Monica Geller : Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing? Chandler Bing : No, I wasn't gonna ask you that, no. Rachel Green : You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come. Ross Geller : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : It's horrible. Ross Geller : Oh please, can't I come to your special, magical cabin? Rachel Green : Why would you even want to come Ross? You're a horrible skier. Ross Geller : Oh-oh, hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills. Monica Geller : Here we go again. Joey Tribbiani : I-I can't handle this, you guys. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I can handle it, handle's my middle name. Actually it's the ah, middle part of my first name. Ross Geller : All right Pheebs, your cab's ready. Rachel Green : All right, let's go! Ross Geller : You're welcome. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else? Ross Geller : We were on a break! Rachel Green : Y'know Ross why don't you put that on your answering machine! Ross Geller : Hey-hey, it's valid okay? And I'm not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me. Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : I don't know. Ross Geller : That's what you said last night. Monica Geller : What I said was, was that I understood. Joey's the one who agreed with you! Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Really Joey? Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here. Rachel Green : No, I think it's very obvious who's wrong here. Ross Geller : Obviously not to Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no. Chandler Bing : Guys, guys, guess who I am?! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! Look what you're doing to Chandler!! Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? You don't, all right you don't have to love each other, okay? You don't, you don't even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and not put us in the middle. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, otherwise, I mean that's, that's, that's just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? Can you be civil? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : I can. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Good, all right, let's get back in the car, 'cause it's freezing, and my chest is unsupported. Joey Tribbiani : Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Who's going with who? Ross Geller : Look, you guys, you guys should go. No, I'm, you, you planned this all out, and I don't want to ruin it, so you guys should just go. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, you drove all the way up here. Ross Geller : No, no, really, I've got to take the car back anyway, I'm spending all day tomorrow with Ben, It's fine, no guilt I promise. Rachel Green : Thank you. Monica Geller : All right, we'll call you when we get back. Ross Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe we can like go to a movie or something. Ross Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Or, or the rodeo!! Ross Geller : That would be great. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Chandler Bing : I was being Shelly Winters from The Poseidon Adventure. Ross Geller : I know! Phoebe Buffay : Bye!!! Carol Willick : Ugh. Ross! Ross Geller : Hi! Sorry I'm late. Were you sleeping? Carol Willick : Ahh, nooo!! Ross Geller : Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, 'cause that's not where you want to skimp. Carol Willick : You're a genius, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110? Carol Willick : Okay, I'll pay you tomorrow. Ross Geller : Okay. Carol Willick : Okay, bye!! Ross Geller : So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know? Carol Willick : Yeah, okay, bye. Ross Geller : So I'm gonna take off then! Monica Geller : What's so funny? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, nothing, no. It's an acting exercise, I'm practising my fake laugh. Monica Geller : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : What-what's so funny? Gunther : Oh, no-no, no-no-no, there's none of that in here. Chandler Bing : Oh come on man! At least let me finish this last one. Gunther : Okay, but only if you give me a drag. Chandler Bing : Okay. Gunther : Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey tit. Chandler Bing : No-no, why don't you hang on to that one. Chandler Bing : Okay, that's like the least fun game ever. Rachel Green : Well, I'm really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. Chandler Bing : Oh. Nope, that patch is no good. Rachel Green : Come on, it's a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasn't smoked since. Ross Geller : Pffhah. Rachel Green : What's your problem? Ross Geller : Nothing, it's just that hypnosis is beyond crap. Rachel Green : Ross, I watched you get hypnotised in Atlantic City. Ross Geller : Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay. Rachel Green : Oh right, 'cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play Wipe-out on your butt cheeks. Phoebe Buffay : All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men. Chandler Bing : Or what my Father called Thursday night. Ross Geller : Here you go. Rachel Green : Oh, y'know what, I didn't want cinnamon on this. Ross Geller : Sorry. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Frank! Hi! Frank Buffay Jr. : How are you? Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing here? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, well y'know, I would've called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldn't find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So... Phoebe Buffay : What happened? Frank Buffay Jr. : Ah, oh, the ah, vandalism. Phoebe Buffay : But, also, what happened between you and your Mom? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, we got into a fight 'cause ah, she said I was to immature to get married. Phoebe Buffay : Your getting married?! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, yeah! #ALL# : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : My little brother's getting married!! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, I knew you'd be so cool about this. All right, ah, hey, do you want to meet her? Phoebe Buffay : Do I? Frank Buffay Jr. : Do you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I do, yeah. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, cool, all right, she just ah, parking the truck. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get my ah, my fiance man! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I would've bet good money that he'd be the first one of us to get married. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, isn't it fantastic? Monica Geller : Yeah, ah, but Pheebs don't you think he's a little young to get married? Phoebe Buffay : What, he's 18. Ross Geller : Exactly, it'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, or-or to get a hooker. Chandler Bing : Always illegal Joe. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fiance, Mrs. Knight. Alice Knight : Y'know it-it's funny, um, Frank told me so much about you, but your not how I pictured you at all. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm a big surprise. Monica Geller : So, um, how-how did you guys meet? Frank Buffay Jr. : Well um, I was in ah Mrs. Knight's ah, I mean Alice, sorry, Alice, I always do that. I was in her ah, Home Ec class. Alice Knight : And he was my best student. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, she was my best teacher. Alice Knight : Ohhh. Chandler Bing : If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will? Ross Geller : And so now you guys are gonna be married? Alice Knight : Yeah. Y'know we-we talked about just living together, but um, we want to have kids right away. Rachel Green : Oh my God!! Great! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure you're ready for that? Frank Buffay Jr. : I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesn't want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, 'cause y'know, it'll be me. Right? Alice Knight : Y'know, I mean, really we do realise that there's an age difference between us. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Okay. 'Cause you were acting like you didn't. Alice Knight : Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter? Hypnosis Tape : You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You don't need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman. Monica Geller : And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year I've only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game. Rachel Green : Well, that shouldn't be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men. Monica Geller : Pete, can I get you something else? Peter Becker : Yeah, a slice of cheesecake and-and a date if you're given' 'em out. Monica Geller : Haven't you and I covered that topic? Peter Becker : Hmm, come on, you just said to her that you.... Monica Geller : Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food. Peter Becker : Well, if that were true, I'd dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. Come on, you think she should go out with me, don't you? Rachel Green : Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that ain't a pretty picture in the morning, y'know what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know. Monica Geller : I mean really, think about it. Peter Becker : Ho-ho, I will. Phoebe Buffay : No, I know, I know, that this is Frank's life, y'know. Y'know, I don't want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, it's sick and wrong! Ross Geller : Pheebs, what, is it the age thing? Phoebe Buffay : No-no, oh, I'm fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking it's tongue down my little brother's throat! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it. Phoebe Buffay : But, I mean, do you think he's gonna enjoy it when he's up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, and it-it's not fair to the babies, and y'know what, it's not good home economics. Joey Tribbiani : Well, have-have you told him how you feel? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Not out loud. Ross Geller : Pheebs, if you don't tell him, soon he's gonna be married, and then you're gonna hate yourself. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but if I do tell him, then he's gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I can't. But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, you guys, you have nothing to lose, I have everything to lose. Do you want me to lose everything? Everything?! Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm gonna go get Frank. Joey Tribbiani : So, we're walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, "Hey, let's go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes," remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, "Nah, let's just hang out at your place." Well, that was a nice move dumb ass. Rachel Green : I think you should definitely go out with this guy. Monica Geller : Nah, he doesn't do anything for me. Rachel Green : Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker Texas Ranger? Monica Geller : Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids.... All right, I get your point. Rachel Green : All right. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick? Monica Geller : Uh, yeah. Rachel Green : Hey, how are those tapes working out for ya? Chandler Bing : Y'know what, pretty good. Rachel Green : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Good! I haven't smoked yet today, I feel great, and-and-and confident, that is a stunning blouse. Rachel Green : Thank you. Monica Geller : Here you go. Chandler Bing : Thanks Rachel Green : Hey Mon, let's give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable. Chandler Bing : What check thing? Monica Geller : As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so I'd call him. Chandler Bing : Pete Becker. Pete... Is this him? Monica Geller : That's Bill Clinton. Chandler Bing : Who's he huggin'? Monica Geller : Oh my God! That's Pete! But why is Bill huggin' Pete? Chandler Bing : This guy invented Moss 865! Every office in the world uses that program! Rachel Green : We use it!! Chandler Bing : There you go!! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Monica's gonna go out with a millionaire. Monica Geller : I'm not gonna go out with him. Rachel Green : Oh my God, I can't believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting. Monica Geller : Or incredibly offensive. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, sure, that too. Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : All we're saying is don't rush into anything. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, come on, think about it. You're 18, okay, she's 44, when you're 36, she's gonna be 88. Frank Buffay Jr. : What, you don't think I know that? Joey Tribbiani : Look, the point is, there's a lot of women out there you haven't even had sex with yet! Ross Geller : Yeah, he-he's right, he's right. This is your time y'know, yeah, you're young, you're-you're weird, chicks dig that. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, but isn't sex better when it's with one person that you really, really care about. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, in a poem maybe. Ross Geller : No the man's right, that's what I had with Rachel. Frank Buffay Jr. : You don't have it anymore? Ross Geller : No, I ah, I slept with someone else. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, so wait, all right, so how does that make things better? Ross Geller : It didn't. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what I've got with Alice. Joey Tribbiani : Now, wh-what, what is that like? Frank Buffay Jr. : It's so cool man, it's so, it's just 'cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Why can't I find that? Ross Geller : Don't ask me, I had it and I blew it! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I want it! Frank Buffay Jr. : You can have it! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, maybe I can't. I mean, maybe there's something wrong with me. Ross Geller : Oh, no! No! Frank Buffay Jr. : It's out there man! I've seen it! I got it!! Joey Tribbiani : Then you hold on to it!! Frank Buffay Jr. : All right, man!! Joey Tribbiani : All right, congratulations you lucky bastard! Phoebe Buffay : You're Frank's best man?! Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't help it, there love is so pure. Phoebe Buffay : Well then, what about you?! Huh?! Ross Geller : I'm the ring bearer. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. I'm so glad you could come, 'cause I've got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. Alice Knight : Oh my God, who died on this?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know. It's a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me? Alice Knight : Absolutely. Okay, first we'll start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesn't work we can go back to... Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, forget it. It's ruined. Alice Knight : Oh no-no, never say that. If we can't get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw. Phoebe Buffay : Or instead, maybe you could just not marry my brother Frank. Peter Becker : Okay, that's great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin. #ALL# : Got it. Yeah all right. Yeah, okay. Secretary : You have a Miss Monica Geller here. Peter Becker : Uh, absolutely, yeah, sEnd her in. Hi. Monica Geller : What the hell is this? Peter Becker : Hang on a second. I'll-I'll talk to you in the morning. I'm sorry what? Monica Geller : Seriously, what is this supposed to mean? Peter Becker : Well, y'know, I never know how much to tip. Monica Geller : You're supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, what's-what's the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you? Employee : Umm, I'm still here. Peter Becker : You're taking this all wrong. Because, if I didn't leave you that tip, you wouldn't of come down here, we wouldn't be having this argument, and there wouldn't be this ah, heat between us. Monica Geller : What?! Peter Becker : Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. 'Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now we're like this-this couple that fights. Monica Geller : Okay, umm, you're a loon. Peter Becker : Look, forget the check, okay. I like you. I think you're great. Come on, what do you say? Monica Geller : I don't know. Peter Becker : Why not? Monica Geller : 'Cause I don't want to encourage this kind of behaviour. Peter Becker : One meal! That's all I'm asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you don't have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi. Wait, no! Just put the mail down. It's-it's me! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Whoa, sorry. Why were you just like all in the dark? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought I'd curl up in it. Is that all right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, sure. So, how was your day? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, well just probably the worst one since I've been alive. Phoebe Buffay : What umm, what happened? Frank Buffay Jr. : Umm, Alice ah, she ah, called it off. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Did umm, did she say why? Frank Buffay Jr. : Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I don't see how I could all of the sudden be too young, 'cause I'm older than I was when we first got together. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, no, I don't, I don't know. But, y'know what, maybe it's just all for the best? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, sweetie, oh. Frank Buffay Jr. : Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, it's still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now it's, and now it's gone and I don't know why! Phoebe Buffay : Uh, well I can tell you why. It's, it's because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay? Frank Buffay Jr. : What? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldn't be together, y'know. And you're gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will. Frank Buffay Jr. : Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, you, wait no, my Mother didn't want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but. Frank Buffay Jr. : Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought you'd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go... Rachel Green : Oh my God! The millionaire's here! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Guys, please, I'm just gonna have dinner with him. Okay? Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, just because he buys you dinner, does not mean you owe him anything. Monica Geller : I know!! Chandler Bing : Okay, then get the lobster! Monica Geller : Hey! Peter Becker : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now? Monica Geller : And that's why, I'm not inviting you in for a drink. Bye. #ALL# : Oh-no-no-no-no.... Rachel Green : Just one drink?! Monica Geller : So, where do you want to go? Peter Becker : Hey, you like pizza? Monica Geller : Oh, that's sounds great. Peter Becker : I know a great little place. Peter Becker : You're, hey, you're not paying for the pizza! Monica Geller : Oh come on, it's only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire? Peter Becker : Ahh, I'd throw another thousand on that. Monica Geller : Why, how much is that? Peter Becker : That's about 60 cents. Joey Tribbiani : Every night!! Hypnosis Tape : You do not need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Frank. Look, okay, I know that you think I did like this totally evil thing, but I so didn't. There's someone here who can explain this better than I can. Alice Knight : Hi Frank. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi, Mrs. Knight. Alice Knight : Phoebe's right Frank. I know it's hard to hear, but it would've been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. Is that it, is that what it is? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but not just that. Alice Knight : Right, not just that. Umm, even though we love each other as much as we do, none the less... Phoebe Buffay : None the less. Alice Knight : None the less. Umm, you're too young to, to really know what you want. Phoebe Buffay : That's right, exactly. All right, it's a good bye kiss, that's good. Bye-bye. Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what I'm saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. Okay, I've decided I'm gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? Okay, all right, good. . Hypnosis Tape : Cigarette's don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. Joey Tribbiani : Joey's your best friEnd. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants. Gunther : Here you go. Rachel Green : Thank you. Gunther : Say Rachel, I was wondering if you'd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe you'd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover. Mark Robinson : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! All right, let's go shoppin'!! Mark Robinson : Um, y'know, before we go ah, there's something I need to say. Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Mark Robinson : I've kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. But since you were with Ross, I-I didn't do anything about it. But, now that you're not, I'd really like to ask you out sometime. So-so that's-that's what I'm doing, now. Rachel Green : Wow! Umm.... Gunther : I dropped a cup. Peter Becker : ...so y'know, that's why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, 'Wash my car.' 'Clean my room.' It's not gonna be able to do any of those things, but it'll understand what you're saying. Monica Geller : Oh, this is so great. Peter Becker : Yeah, it was. Monica Geller : All right then. Bye. Monica Geller : Hello, people who do not live here. #ALL# : Hi! Hello! Monica Geller : I gave you a key for emergencies! Phoebe Buffay : We were out of Doritos. Ross Geller : Hey, how'd the date go with Mr. Millionaire? Chandler Bing : Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately. Monica Geller : He's great! I mean we have such a good time together! He's so funny, and sooo sweet, and I'm not attracted to him at all!! Ross Geller : Still?! Monica Geller : Noo!! It's driving me crazy. I mean every other way he's like the perfect guy, he has everything. Plus! He actually has everything. Chandler Bing : Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image? Monica Geller : Two. Chandler Bing : Wow!! Can Joey and I put them on and fight? Joey Tribbiani : Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Ross Geller : I guess he musta gotten the part in that play. Monica Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you. The Director : Joe. How's it going? Joey Tribbiani : Good. Hey. Kate Miller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, so you're playing Adrienne, huh? Kate Miller : Yes. Are you one of the retarded cousins? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no. Ah, I playing your husband, Victor. I'm Joey Tribianni. Kate Miller : Hi, nice to meet you. Kate Miller. Joey Tribbiani : So the ah, play's pretty great, huh? Kate Miller : Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murray's work. She's so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, forget about it. She rocks! Kate Miller : Where do I know you from? Joey Tribbiani : Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat. Kate Miller : No, that's not it. So, you're a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I've done plays before. I'm a serious actor. Kate Miller : That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! You're-you're-you're the guy that doesn't know how to pour milk!! Joey Tribbiani : See, I actually can pour milk, but I got you believing that I couldn't. Now, see, that's acting. Kate Miller : Right, at the end, you choked on a cookie. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that was real. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I cannot believe Mark asked you out. Rachel Green : I know. Phoebe Buffay : What, so what are you gonna tell him? Rachel Green : Well, I told him I would think about it, but I'm gonna tell him no. Phoebe Buffay : Huh. Rachel Green : I mean I think I'd say no to anybody right now. Oh, but it was so strange. I mean I'm standing there with this charming, cute guy, who's asking me to go out with him, which I'm allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like I'd be cheating on Ross or something. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, you're not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father. Rachel Green : I don't have any issues with my Father. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so it's probably just the Ross thing then. Joey Tribbiani : I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I can't do it, they're all like-like laughing at me. Ross Geller : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, what-what do you think she wants? Ross Geller : Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realises that life without me.... a-sucks. Chandler Bing : It's possible. You are very loveable, I'd miss you if I broke up with you. I was just trying to be supportive. Ross Geller : Then be supportive like a guy. Chandler Bing : If I broke up with you, I'd miss you. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : You ah, wanted to see me? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ahh, here's a box of your stuff. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Oh, y'know, it's just like hats, and a shirt, and CD's, just sort of stuff that you've left here. Ross Geller : What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something? Rachel Green : No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know it's time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean don't' you think? Ross Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : Yeah? Ross Geller : Yes, I do. Rachel Green : Good. Ross Geller : Yeah, I-I really do. Hey! This-this was a gift?! Rachel Green : Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop. Ross Geller : It's still a gift! I got it from the gift shop! Rachel Green : Okay, all right, give me the mug! I'll keep the mug. Ross Geller : No!! Y'know-y'know don't do me any favours. In fact, where, where's the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? I'd like that back too. Yes, I do. Rachel Green : You know how much I love that T-shirt! You never even where that T-shirt! Ross Geller : I'm just trying to help you, move on. Rachel Green : Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty.... Ross Geller : Petty... Rachel Green : Petty... Ross Geller : Petty... Rachel Green : Petty... Ross Geller : Petty... Rachel Green : Small... Ross Geller : Small... Rachel Green : You are so just doing this out of spite. Ross Geller : Awwwahuh, no, no, no!! Rachel Green : Huh? Ross Geller : I'm-I'm gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! Rachel Green : You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesn't even fit you anymore! Ross Geller : Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah... Rachel Green : yeah-yeah-yeah!! Ross Geller : Oh-oh, okay, okay! If you don't mind I'm gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. You have a pleasant evening. Phoebe Buffay : So, you're like a zillionaire? Chandler Bing : And you're our age. You're our age. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself. Peter Becker : What like Pete Dakota? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, or, or, or, Mississ-Pete. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, I got it! Pete-Chicago. Chandler Bing : That's not a state Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, and Mississ-Pete is? Peter Becker : I got to go, so ah, I'll see you guys later. #ALL# : Okay. Chandler Bing : You're our age! Peter Becker : So ah, we on for tomorrow? Monica Geller : Absolutely! Now get out of here you!! Okay, I'm running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where there's no future? Either they're too old, or they're too young, and then there's Pete who's-who's crazy about me, and who's absolutely perfect for me, and there's like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like something's wrong with me?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, kinda. Kate Miller : Happy?! Is that what I'm supposed to be Vic? Happy? Joey Tribbiani : Well, why don't you tell me what you're supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell can't figure it out! I talk to you and nothin'. You look at me, and it's nothin'. Nothing. The Director : Tasty! I'm really starting to feel like you guys have a history, it's-it's nice. Kate Miller : I have a question about this scene. The Director : Yes? Kate Miller : Well, I don't understand why Adrienne's attracted to Victor. The Director : Peel the onion. First of all, he's good looking. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Kate Miller : I think my character's gonna need a little bit more of reason than that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, it's says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I don't know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that you're a bitch. Kate Miller : It doesn't say that in the script. Joey Tribbiani : It does in mine! Chandler Bing : I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesn't matter, I still wind up with this little cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. It's so annoying. Does it bug you? Ross Geller : You bug me. Chandler Bing : Is there any chance you didn't see that? Chandler Bing : Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You can't just stare through the peep hole for three hours! You're gonna get peep eye! Ross Geller : I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, she'd say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does! Chandler Bing : You didn't just break up. Ross Geller : Hey, it's been like three weeks! Chandler Bing : You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean bullets have left guns slower! Ross Geller : Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, I'm gonna kill myself, I swear. I can't, I can't watch this. Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, she's going in. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : She's going in. Wait! He's going in! He's going in!! The door's closed! I, I can't see anything but the door closed!! Chandler Bing : And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave. Ross Geller : Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it! Chandler Bing : Stop what?! Ross Geller : I don't know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will do it. I'll go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!! Chandler Bing : No!! You can't!! Ross Geller : Look, they must be stopped! Chandler Bing : I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! You are surprisingly strong! Ross Geller : I need juice! People need juice!! Chandler Bing : Look man! Ross Geller : People need juice! Chandler Bing : Listen to me!! Ross Geller : Juice, I need... Chandler Bing : She's moving on! Okay, if it's not this guy, it's gonna be somebody else! And unless you're thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? It's over. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : It's just I miss her so much. Chandler Bing : I know. Mark Robinson : Why do all you're coffee mugs have numbers on the bottom? Rachel Green : Oh. That's so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, 'Where's number 27?!' Rachel Green : Y'know what? Mark Robinson : No. And I don't think I'm gonna want to. Rachel Green : I can't do this. Mark Robinson : Yep. Yep, that's what I didn't want to know. Rachel Green : Well, oh, Mark, I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? I'm just doing it to get back at Ross. I'm sorry, it's not very fair to you. Mark Robinson : Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here! Rachel Green : Oh God. I'm sorry about this. Mark Robinson : That's okay. Rachel Green : You sure? Mark Robinson : Yeah. I can just go home and get back at him by myself. Spokeswoman : ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size... Peter Becker : Hey, can I ask you something? Monica Geller : Sure. Peter Becker : Where are we? Monica Geller : Well, with all these doctors and nurses, I'm gonna say, midget rodeo. Peter Becker : Just tell me the truth. Monica Geller : Okay. Umm, y'know, I don't think, I don't think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship. Peter Becker : Oh, yeah. Wasn't that like a year ago? Monica Geller : So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isn't the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now I'm just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean? Peter Becker : Oh, yeah. I know that. Monica Geller : I so wanna be attracted to you. Peter Becker : But you're not. Okay, good. Monica Geller : I'm sorry. Peter Becker : Y'know what, don't be. This is not, don't be, 'cause it's not so bad. Monica Geller : It's not? Peter Becker : I know I'm no John Bon Jovi, or someone who find attractive, I'm just, I think, y'know, that you might end up feeling differently. Monica Geller : Well, um, look I-I don't want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasn't attracted too. Peter Becker : Yeah, stupidly charming isn't' it? Well listen let's, you wanna get something to eat? 'Cause this place is kinda depressing. Spokeswoman : And the man who made all this possible... Mr. Peter Becker. Peter Becker : One second. Chandler Bing : I don't think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. Draw!! Chandler Bing : I wasn't doing anything. Uh-oh, what did she do now? Joey Tribbiani : Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she's like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread! Chandler Bing : Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth. Joey Tribbiani : God, I just, I hate her! I hate her!! With her, 'Oh, I'm so talented.' and 'Oh, I'm so pretty,' and 'Ooh, I smell so good.' Chandler Bing : I think somebody has a crush on somebody. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know? Chandler Bing : I'm talking about you. You big, big freak. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Ohh. Ohh, you're out of your mind. Chandler Bing : Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard you'd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff huh?! Kate Miller : Happy?! Is that what I'm supposed to be Vic? Happy? Joey Tribbiani : Well, why don't you tell me what you're supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell can't figure it out! I talk to you and it's nothin'. You look at me, and nothin'. Nothing. The Director : You guys make me fly! High! Okay, we're gonna pick it up here, tomorrow. Kate Miller : Well, that was ah... Joey Tribbiani : Better? Kate Miller : Yeah! Yeah, it was definitely an improvement. G'night. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, Kate? Kate Miller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : You ah, you forgot your shoes. Kate Miller : I'm probably gonna need those. Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen you ah.... Kate Miller : Hmm? Joey Tribbiani : ...feel like getting a cup of coffee? Kate Miller : Umm. The Director : Kate? Kate Miller : Yep. The Director : You ready to go? Kate Miller : Yeah. The Director : Very nice. Very nice. Kate Miller : So umm, I'll see you tomorrow, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah sure, goodnight. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Why isn't it Spiderman? Y'know like Goldman, Silverman... Chandler Bing : 'Cause it's-it's not his last name. Phoebe Buffay : It isn't? Chandler Bing : No, it's not like, like Phil Spiderman. He's a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but there's no Gold Man. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man! Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, how was work? Rachel Green : Oh, great. Although I did sit down where there wasn't a chair. Monica Geller : By the way, Ross dropped by a box of your stuff. Rachel Green : Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. I'm just gonna throw it out, it's probably just a bunch of shampoo and... Monica Geller : Something wrong? Rachel Green : No. Nothing. Chandler Bing : So, ahh, what kind of powers would Gold Man have? Phoebe Buffay : Okay well, he would turn things to gold. Chandler Bing : What about things that are already gold? Phoebe Buffay : Ahh, his work is done. Chandler Bing : Okay, let's play my game now. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!! Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, wait. You're telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didn't want you back?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Oh my God! Is this what it's like to be you? Monica Geller : Wow, you're really crazy about her, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you have no idea. And-and when we're on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and it's like somebody's ripping out my heart! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so great to see you feeling like this! Ross Geller : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Ross Geller : Monica, uh Dad called this morning and ah, Aunt Silvia passed away. Monica Geller : Yes!! Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Ross Geller : We were all pretty shaken up about it. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, am I missing something though? 'Cause I thought death was something that's supposed to be sad, in a way. Ross Geller : Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person. Monica Geller : Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! And I'm sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse? Ross Geller : You get the dollhouse. Monica Geller : I get the dollhouse! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse? Phoebe Buffay : No, just a barrel. Monica Geller : Y'know what, you can play with my dollhouse. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Really?! Monica Geller : Any time you want. Y'know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but no!! It was to be looked at, but never played with. Chandler Bing : My Grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me. Rachel Green : Hey, Sophie! Sophie : Hey, Rach! Chandler Bing : Hey. Sophie : Hey. Rachel Green : Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didn't have to walk me all the way back up here. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's-that's okay, no problem. Rachel Green : Honey um, honey, you do realise that we don't keep the women's lingerie here in the office? Chandler Bing : Yes, I realise that. Rachel Green : Summer catalogue! Chandler Bing : That's the stuff! Joanna : Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. Hello! You don't work for me. Rachel Green : Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing Joanna. Joanna : Bing! That's a great name. Chandler Bing : Thanks, it's ah, Gaelic, for 'Thy turkey's done.' So ah, I'm gonna go, nice, nice meeting you. Joanna : Me too. Rachel Green : Bye, Chandler. Joanna : So ah, what's wrong with him? Rachel Green : Oh, nothing, he's just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore. Joanna : Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone? Rachel Green : No!! No! He's not married, or involved, with anyone! Joanna : Oh, Rachel, actually, y'know what, forget it. Rachel Green : Well, I'll ask him for you, if you want me too? Joanna : Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do? Sophie : Uh, uh, uh, I am here. Joanna : I know that. Monica Geller : Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpaper's a little faded, that's okay. Carpet's a little loose. Hardwood floors!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ooh! Oh Monica! It's so beautiful. Monica Geller : I know!!! Phoebe Buffay : So, I'm here, ready to play. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. Monica Geller : What's this? Phoebe Buffay : That's a dog, every house should have a dog. Monica Geller : Not one that can pee on the roof. Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe it's so big because the house was built on radioactive waste. Chandler Bing : And is this in case the house sneezes? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, that's the ghost for the attic. Monica Geller : I don't want a ghost. Phoebe Buffay : Well, nobody wants a ghost. But you've got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, obviously you don't know much about the U.S. government. Rachel Green : Hey! #ALL# : Hello. Rachel Green : I need to talk to you! Ross Geller : Sure, what's up? Rachel Green : Oh, sorry. I meant Chandler. Ross Geller : I-I know. Well if something comes up... Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase. Rachel Green : Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you... Chandler Bing : Oh-ho, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin' out the Chan-Chan man! Rachel Green : That was surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all? Chandler Bing : Yeah, she seemed cool, attractive. I'll do it. Rachel Green : Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, she's gonna love me. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof! Monica Geller : Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-that's it, that's it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? They're not the right size, they're not Victorian, and they just don't go. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, fine. Come dinosaur, we're not welcome in the house of no imagination. Ross Geller : Uh, Pheebs, while we're hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they don't go, rrroof! Phoebe Buffay : The little ones do. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Kate! Kate Miller : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last week... The Director : Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! Joey Tribbiani : And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah... Woman : Hi, oh, I'm Lauren, Kate's understudy. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey! Joey Tribbiani. Lauren : I know! I-I'm a big fan of yours. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Lauren : I used to umm, schedule my classes so I could watch Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Joey Tribbiani : Get out of here, really?! Lauren : Absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Lauren : Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft. Joey Tribbiani : They gave me the shaft all right. Lauren : Oh, you're so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something? Joey Tribbiani : Well Ahh, yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great. Lauren : Cool! I-I'll see you then. Joey Tribbiani : All right. The Director : All right, it's time to act, my talking props. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Look everybody, look at my new dollhouse!! Rachel Green : Wow!! Phoebe Buffay : Look, look! Ross Geller : Hey, what's this?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, it's the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. Monica Geller : It's very interesting, Phoebe. Rachel Green : What's this? Phoebe Buffay : The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed. Ross Geller : This is the coolest house ever!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, does anybody want to join me in the aroma room? Rachel Green : All right! Ross Geller : I would! Monica Geller : Hey, guys, guys, did you see my new, china cabinet?! Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : Watch, watch. Rachel Green : Ooohhhh!! Phoebe Buffay : And, and! Rachel Green : Ahhhh!! Chandler Bing : Hey, my Father's house does that! Rachel Green : O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything. Chandler Bing : Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and there's nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening. Rachel Green : Hmm. Chandler Bing : Of course, I didn't get to enjoy any of that, because Joanna's such a big, dull dud! Joanna : Chandler is fantastic!! Rachel Green : What?! Joanna : Oh God, we just clicked! Y'know how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you? Rachel Green : Oh, I.... Joanna : Oh, and he's got such a good heart! Doesn't he have a good heart? Rachel Green : Oh, I know... Joanna : Oh, I know and he's soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through. Sophie : Isn't this great?! Joanna : Don't spoil it. Joey Tribbiani : Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say? The Director : Hello. Oh! It's you. Just ah, just one-one sec. I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! Joey Tribbiani : That guy's like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway? Kate Miller : He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater you're dating. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm not interested in her sweater! It's what's underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who I'm going out with? Kate Miller : I don't care. Why, do you want me to care? Joey Tribbiani : Do you want me to want you to care? Kate Miller : Do you? Joey Tribbiani : What? The Director : Okay, I'm afraid to say this, but let's pick it up where we left off. Joey Tribbiani : Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say? Kate Miller : I've got no reason to stay. The Director : Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! I'll see you in the morning. Kate Miller : I can't believe we go on in, in a week. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's gonna be all right. Lauren : Hey! So since we're getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs? Joey Tribbiani : What? Lauren : You know! At the place I told you about last night? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight. Lauren : Oh, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Lauren : I'll see you tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Lauren : G'night. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, are you okay? Kate Miller : Yeah, I guess. Look, what are we gonna do about this scene, huh? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Kate Miller : Well umm, maybe if it had more heat. Joey Tribbiani : How do you mean? Kate Miller : Well, Adrian's looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor can't just kiss her, he's gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe he could slip her the tongue. Kate Miller : Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist. Kate Miller : And then she could rip off his shirt and kiss his chest, and, and his stomach! Joey Tribbiani : And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her! Kate Miller : And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this raw, animal.... Joey Tribbiani : Something like that? Kate Miller : Yeah, that's pretty much what I had in mind. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : It's a little early to be drinkin'. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate. Ross Geller : Ohhhhh! Monica Geller : You're kidding?! That's great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was so amazing. After the love making... Monica Geller : Oh my. Joey Tribbiani : Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming 'cause, 'cause her eyes keep going like this. Chandler Bing : I'm telling ya, Joanna's got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, 'This was fun. Let's do it again sometime. I'll give you a call.' Rachel Green : Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks you're going to call her? Chandler Bing : That's what you say at the end of a date. Rachel Green : You can't just say, 'Nice to meet you, good night?' Chandler Bing : To her face? Look it's the end of the date, I'm standing there, I know all she's waiting for is for me to say 'I'll call her' and it's just y'know, comes out. I can't help it, it's a compulsion. Monica Geller : Come on Rach, when a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call. Hasn't it ever happened to you? Rachel Green : Well, they always called. Monica Geller : Hmm, bite me. Joanna : Did he call? Rachel Green : No. Sorry. Joanna : Why?! Why?! He said he'd call. Why hasn't he called? Sophie : Maybe he's intimated by really smart, strong, successful women. Joanna : Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasn't he called, Rachel? Why? Rachel Green : Okay, okay. Umm, well ah, maybe he, maybe he feels awkward because you are my boss. Joanna : Awkward? Why should he feel awkward? Rachel Green : Well... Joanna : The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didn't tell him not to call me, did you? Rachel Green : No. I... Joanna : Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that. Rachel Green : Call her! Call her now! Chandler Bing : Multiple, so many paper cuts. Rachel Green : Why hasn't he called Rachel? Why? Why? I don't understand. Why? He said he'll call. Why? Why? Chandler I'm telling you she has flipped out, she's gone crazy! Chandler Bing : Oh, well give me the phone then. Rachel Green : Come on, this isn't funny. She thinks it's my fault that you haven't called her. You have to call her! Chandler Bing : Look, you can't call somebody after this long just to say, 'In case you didn't notice, I don't like you!' Rachel Green : Well then you're going to have to take her out again. Chandler Bing : Nooo!! She's really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye! Rachel Green : I don't care! I don't care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows it's actually ended. And, I don't care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again! Chandler Bing : All right! Fine! But it's just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I don't want you setting me up with anybody ever again! Rachel Green : That's fine! Chandler Bing : That's just a lot of big talk, y'know. Rachel Green : I know. Ross Geller : Mon? Monica Geller : I'm in the shower! Ross Geller : Oh, fire! There, there's a fire! Fire!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Kate Miller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall? Kate Miller : About what? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, about what happened with us. Kate Miller : Nooo. And there's really no reason he should find out, so ah let's not make a big deal about it, okay? Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you can't tell me last night didn't mean something to you. I-I was there, you're not that good an actress. Kate Miller : Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. That's all it was. Joey, I'm-I'm sorry you feel bad, but haven't you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you? Joey Tribbiani : Nooo. Lauren : Hi, Kate! Kate Miller : Hi, Lauren. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, Lauren. Lauren : Hi, pig! Ross Geller : Sorry I ah, I scared you in there. Monica Geller : Oh, that's okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager. Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : I tried to reach you at work. There's....been a fire. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Oh my... Oh my God!! What happened?! Ross Geller : Well, we believe it originated here. In the Aroma Room. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Did everyone get out okay? Monica Geller : Well, the giraffe's okay. And so is the pirate. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. What is this? Ross Geller : No Phoebe, don't look! You don't want to see what's under there!! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, the-the Foster puppets! Chandler Bing : It's not a big deal. It's, just it's right here, and it's all the time. Joanna : Well, thanks again for lunch. Chandler Bing : Yes, this, this was pleasant. Joanna : It was, wasn't it? Chandler Bing : The food there was, was great. Joanna : Wasn't it? Chandler Bing : So take care. Joanna : You too. Chandler Bing : Well, this was great. I'll give you a call. We should do it again sometime. Joanna : Great! I'm looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages? Rachel Green : Sophie's desk. Rachel Green : Chandler!! Are you gonna call her! Chandler Bing : Noo! Rachel Green : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm weak, and pathetic, and sorry. Rachel Green : Okay, you are going to tell her and you're going to tell her now. Chandler Bing : Ahhhh-I'm not going to call you. Joanna : What? Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. I'm-I'm-I'm sorry that I said I was going to when I'm not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isn't Rachel's fault. It's me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, mascara goop. And I'm really sorry, it's just that this is not, this isn't going to work out. Joanna : Well, this isn't how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty. Chandler Bing : Yeah, o-okay. Joanna : So... Chandler Bing : Well this is great! I'll give you a call! We should do it again sometime! Joey Tribbiani : Well, so anyway Beth, what I'm saying is I should've considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. I've ah, I've recently learned what's it like to be on your side of it, and I'm sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. Hello, Jennifer? Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? Oh, she's not home huh? Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too. Rachel Green : So who's idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates? Monica Geller : Oh, some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, they took my idea! Monica Geller : That was you?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Okay, here you go. Gunther : Rachel, I made you a cocoa. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, are you guys okay? Gunther : Are you all right? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan. Chandler Bing : Oh, so that's why the priest threw holy water on me. Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate. Joey Tribbiani : Hey I was crying because, because nobody believed Quincy's theory. Okay? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : I'm gonna be on TV!! Chandler Bing : No way! Ross Geller : Yeah! They're putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channel's gonna film it! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Who's gonna watch that?! Ross Geller : Thanks. You ready to go? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Saw a girl with that vest. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Anchorwoman : While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys won't live to see the fourth of July. Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? 'Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute! Peter Becker : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi! Hey, Pete you're back! Hey, check this out. Peter Becker : Wow! Skates! Monica Geller : Wow! You're a lot sturdier that Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was you're trip? Peter Becker : Well... Monica Geller : Oh, what'd ya bring me?! Awww, hotel toiletries from Japan. Oh, these are gonna go in my permanent collection. You want some coffee? Peter Becker : Yeah, sure, that'd be great. Monica Geller : Regular or decaf? Peter Becker : Ah, which ever is closest. Monica Geller : Okay. Peter Becker : So ask me what I did today. Monica Geller : So what did you do today Pete? Peter Becker : I bought a restaurant and I would like you to be the head chef. Monica Geller : What?! Oh. Monica Geller : Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant? Rachel Green : What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass? Monica Geller : I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monica's Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. But Pete's just doing this because he has a crush on me. Rachel Green : And you're still not attracted to him at all? Monica Geller : Hmm, no. I mean how can I accept a restaurant from him? I-I-I-I can't. I couldn't even accept a necklace from Stu Vincent in the seventh grade. Rachel Green : Yeah, but Mon that's totally different. He was you're health teacher. Monica Geller : Oh, please. Monica Geller : What? Honey. Rachel Green : Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday. Monica Geller : Oh God, I'm so sorry. Rachel Green : I know. Rachel Green : Ow!! Monica Geller : Oh God! Ross Geller : Hey, you guys! Guess what? Rachel Green : Got a job on a river boat? Ross Geller : Y'know what I didn't wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? You're not my girlfriend anymore so... Rachel Green : Oh I see, so this suit is making a point. Ross Geller : Right. Rachel Green : Now that you're on you're own, you're free to look as stupid as you like. Ross Geller : You like it right? Monica Geller : Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. Ross! Ross! I'm kidding! Rachel Green : Yeah, come here! Monica Geller : What-what was it you were gonna tell us? Rachel Green : Yeah. Oh! Was how you invented the cotton gin?! Ross Geller : Okay, good bye! Chandler Bing : So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, oh, about three months. Chandler Bing : Okay, so I guess that's about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in. Joey Tribbiani : Hey!! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : I got you something! Open it! Open it! Chandler Bing : Okay. It's a chicken. Joey Tribbiani : It's cute, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Whoa-whoa-whoa, you guys, do you know anything about chicks? Chandler Bing : Fowl? No. Women? Nooo. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lot's and lot's of love. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well no problem there. Chandler Bing : Easy Lenny. Peter Becker : So? I mean have you thought about it? Monica Geller : Okay. Here's the thing. Peter Becker : Oh no, not the thing. I hate the thing. What's the thing? Monica Geller : I can't do it. I'm sorry, I wish I could, but umm, see you have these feelings for me.... Peter Becker : Wait, wait, wait, wait, that's-that's what you're worried about? If that's the problem, we've got no problem. Monica Geller : Huh? Peter Becker : No! Look, I was gonna tell you this over dinner, but I met somebody else. On my trip. Monica Geller : Oh? Peter Becker : Her name's Ann, she's a journalist. Ahh, we met on the plane. She asked me if she could finish off my peanuts, I thought she said something else, we had a big laugh. Yeah, I just, I mean I got, I got tired of waiting. Monica Geller : Oh, that's great! I mean I'm-I'm sorry, but I'm so happy for you. And now I can work for you! Peter Becker : I guess you can. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! All right, y'know what? I'm just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit! Peter Becker : All right. Monica Geller : Okay. Can you give me a little push? Peter Becker : Yeah, sure. Good luck! Monica Geller : I'm quitting!! Woo-hoo! I'm okay!! I'm all right!! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! That's exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman. Peter Becker : What? Phoebe Buffay : I'm just saying, this woman, I mean she's fictitious. No? Peter Becker : Why would you say that? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause you're still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so 'cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and... Peter Becker : You're good. You're good! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no, I'm fairly intuitive and psychic. It's a substantial gift. Peter Becker : Listen, can you promise me that you won't tell her though? Phoebe Buffay : Absolutely, oh I promise. Tell her what? Peter Becker : Thanks a lot. Phoebe Buffay : No I'm serious. I mean I'm intuitive, but my memory sucks. Chandler Bing : Okay, but this is the last time. With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick--chickeeeen. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : How's she doing? Chandler Bing : She? Joey Tribbiani : Well yeah, don't-don't you think it's a she? Chandler Bing : I don't know. I can't tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly. Joey Tribbiani : Well, anyway, I got to go change, I'm ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks. Chandler Bing : Excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Who was up from 2 o'clock this morning until 5 o'clock this morning trying to get her back to sleep? Chandler Bing : You don't think I get up when you get up? Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh, here it comes. Chandler Bing : Yes, here it comes! I'm stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I don't think so mister! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day! Chandler Bing : And you don't think taking care of our chick is work? Joey Tribbiani : That's not what I said. Okay, I just meant... Chandler Bing : I know what you meant!! You notice that ever since we got this chick, we've been fighting a lot more than we used too? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, maybe we weren't ready to have a chick. Chandler Bing : I'll take her back tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Do you think we'll get our three bucks back? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? This blue suit, or this brown one? Joey Tribbiani : Well, the brown one brings out your eyes, but your butt looks great in the blue one. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Oww! Ross Geller : Wow! That aspirin dance really works! Rachel Green : Oww! Ross Geller : Oh my God, is that still... Rachel Green : I'm fine, I'm fine. Ross Geller : No you're not. Rachel Green : Yes I am! Ross Geller : Rach! Rachel Green : Look, I'm fine. Watch. Look at that. Whoa-whoa! Ross Geller : Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay? Rachel Green : No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. It's a very big deal, there's a lot of people there I have to meet. Ross Geller : And I'm sure you're gonna make a big impression. Hi! I'm Rachel Green. It's nice to meet you. Come on, you probably have a broken rib! Rachel Green : Well, I will go to the hospital tomorrow, it'll still be broken then. Ross Geller : Rach... Rachel Green : But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready. Ross Geller : Rachel... Rachel Green : Look, either help me or go. Ross Geller : Fine. I'll go. Rachel Green : Okay, but before you go, could you help me first? Ross Geller : Sure. I'll help you. Chandler Bing : Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?! Rachel Green : Y'know what? I cannot do this with my left hand! Would you please, help me with this too? Ross Geller : Ohh. Rachel Green : Okay. Let's use this brush. Ross Geller : Okay. This stuff? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : All right. Rachel Green : Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it. Ross Geller : Oke-dokey. Rachel Green : Oh-ho! Ross Geller : Sorry. Rachel Green : Hey! That's just poking me in the eye! Ross Geller : Sorry, I'm sorry. Close, close, close... Rachel Green : Okay, just sweep it. Ross Geller : I'm sweeping... Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : Sweep, sweep.... Rachel Green : Okay, now make it even, 'cause we don't... Ross Geller : What? What? Rachel Green : We don't want it-it to be too much, we want it to be subtle. Ross Geller : No. No, y'know you don't, you don't wear enough of this. What? Rachel Green : Since when, since when do you think I don't wear enough of this? Ross Geller : Well I, close your eyes, I just think you're gonna like this a little better, 'cause, close-close... Rachel Green : Blow it. Ross Geller : Sorry. 'Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated. Rachel Green : Sophisticated like a hooker? Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, guess what I'm doing tonight. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : I'm checking out the restaurant with Pete. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you. Monica Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I have to tell you something. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : But I can't tell you. Monica Geller : Okay, but wouldn't it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to like all my gods. Monica Geller : Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel? Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Does it have to do with Joey? Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed? Phoebe Buffay : No, but let's come back to that later! Ross Geller : There you go! Good enough for your party, huh? Rachel Green : Sure. Ross Geller : Yep? Rachel Green : Sure, I'll just sit next to the trans-sexual from purchasing. Ross Geller : Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay? Rachel Green : Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed? Ross Geller : Sure, okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay, great! Umm, okay, just turn around. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I don't want you to see me naked! Ross Geller : Rachel, I've seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button? Rachel Green : Yeah, but that was different. Y'know? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think it's weird. Ross Geller : Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : All I have to do is close my eyes. See? Woo-hoo!! Rachel Green : Ross! Stop that! Ross Geller : Ah, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that any more! Ross Geller : Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. It's one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. Oop, oh yeah! Rachel Green : Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, I'm sorry, it will never happen... Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and I'm the king. Rachel Green : Rosss... Ross Geller : Come on, would you grow up? It's no big deal. Rachel Green : All right. Fine. Ross Geller : Yowzah!!! Rachel Green : O-kay!! See what you did, I'm gonna be doing it by myself now. Okay? Ross Geller : Aww, come on. Rachel Green : That's it. Ow!!! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh-ow! Ross Geller : All right. Rachel Green : Ow! Ross Geller : Look... Rachel Green : Ow! Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Ow! Ross Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Ow! Ow! Ross Geller : Easy. Easy. You have to go to the hospital. Okay? Rachel Green : Okay, I do. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : I really do. Ross Geller : Okay, I'm gonna get your coat and then I'll-I'll put you in a cab. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh wait, wait-wait, you're not gonna come with me? Ross Geller : Of course I am. I just have to make a call. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay? Rachel Green : Thank you. Oww!!!! God! Ross Geller : What?! I wh-, what's wrong? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, I just can't go to the hospital lookin' like this. Monica Geller : Does it involve travel? Phoebe Buffay : Noo! Monica Geller : Does it involve clogs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait, wait. Clogs, or claws? Monica Geller : Clogs. Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Claws?! Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Okay, so it doesn't involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete? Phoebe Buffay : No! Monica Geller : What is it?! What about Pete? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know! Monica Geller : Okay, I feel like I'm talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me! Phoebe Buffay : I can't!! Monica Geller : Okay, I gotta go. Phoebe Buffay : I, but you're so close! No! Monica Geller : Okay, does it involve something to do with Pete's computer company? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just go. You're never gonna get it! Chandler Bing : I know. See, yes. That's Yasmine Bleeth, she's a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh. Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today. Chandler Bing : I did! But the store wouldn't take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out? Chandler Bing : If they can't find a home for her, they kill her! And I'm not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, good, good, good, 'cause, good, 'cause I was kinda having second thoughts too. Chandler Bing : Okay. And it's not just chicks y'know? It's all kinds of other animals! Joey Tribbiani : That's horrible! Well, you did the right thing man. Chandler Bing : Thanks, I'm glad you see it that way. Chandler Bing : Ohhh-hoo, funny story! Monica Geller : I don't believe this! Wow, look at this refrigerator! It's gigantic! I mean I could live in this thing! I'd be cold, but I'm always cold. Oh my God, look at these spider burners! I love spider burners. Peter Becker : So you like it? Monica Geller : Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. Peter Becker : Oh, you're welcome. Monica Geller : Did you just smell my hair? Peter Becker : Nooo. Uh-huh, no way. What? No. Monica Geller : Oh God. Peter Becker : What? Monica Geller : You still have feelings for me don't you? Peter Becker : Now, nooo! I'm just excited about the restaurant, that's all. Monica Geller : Pete. Peter Becker : Okay, I love you. Is that so bad? Monica Geller : No, it's not bad. It's not bad at all. It's-it's really nice. Peter Becker : Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And I'm okay with that. Monica Geller : You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. That's why I can't take this job. Peter Becker : What? Monica Geller : And well, we probably shouldn't see each other anymore. I'm sorry. Peter Becker : Okay, yeah. I mean... If that's, if that's really what you want, okay. Monica Geller : Okay, bye. Peter Becker : I'm sorry things didn't work out... Monica Geller : All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. Oh, wow! Rachel Green : Okay, you'd tell me the truth. Right? Ross Geller : Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray. Rachel Green : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!! Ross Geller : That's a duck. Chandler Bing : That's a bad duck!!! How'd the thing go tonight, Ross? Ross Geller : Oh, it was, nah, well.... Rachel Green : What thing? What thing? Ross Geller : Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. Easy. Chandler Bing : Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! Rachel Green : What thing? What is this thing? Ross Geller : I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Ross, why didn't you tell me that? Ross Geller : Eh, 'cause I knew that if I told you, you'd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on. Rachel Green : I cannot believe you. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : That is the sweetest thing, I just.... Ross Geller : You should get some sleep. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : So, I'll umm... Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry I spoiled you're evening. Ross Geller : No, that's, no, as long as you're okay. So I'll ah, I'll see you tomorrow. Rachel Green : Um-hmm, yeah. Rachel Green : See ya. Chandler Bing : What did you do? Joey Tribbiani : What 'cha doing? Chandler Bing : Having a swim. Joey Tribbiani : What about the chick? Chandler Bing : Chicks don't swim. Joey Tribbiani : Are you sure? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Should we try it? Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Chandler Bing : See, I told you they don't swim. Joey Tribbiani : Wait. Give him a minute. Chandler Bing : Noo! Oh, it's okay, it's okay, baby, baby, baby. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, he clipped on, he said call him as soon as you get a chance, he's at Flimby's. Rachel Green : What's Flimby's? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, that's the word I use when I can't remember the real thing. Rachel Green : Okay. Hang up! That's it! Come on! Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel, that's what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I don't get through, they're not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! It's us versus them! Chandler Bing : Ye-e-es!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. #ALL# : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, listen I gotta double check for tickets tonight. Who-who got what? Chandler Bing : I had one. Monica Geller : I need two. I'm bringing Pete. My boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now! Joey Tribbiani : Two it is. Ross, how about you? Ross Geller : Uh, yeah, I ah, I also need two. Monica Geller : Really? Who's number two? Chandler Bing : Who's number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play. Ross Geller : Uh, no, it's-it's just this person. Phoebe Buffay : Like a date type person? Ross Geller : Yeah, kinda. It's this woman from work. I hope that won't be too weird. Will it, Rach? Rachel Green : No. No, not at all, not at all. I actually was gonna bring someone myself, so... Joey Tribbiani : But you said one. Rachel Green : I meant, me plus one! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Did ah, you guys mean you plus one? Ross Geller : All right, I'll see you tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay, bye-bye! Chandler Bing : Bye! Monica Geller : Bye-bye! Rachel Green : Okay, I need a date! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, you guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate! #ALL# : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it. Monica Geller : Joey, what are you doing?! It's never gonna happen, she's seeing somebody. Chandler Bing : Yeah, and I don't have any cologne. Joey Tribbiani : The green bottle next to the shaving cream. Chandler Bing : Oh! Worm medicine for the duck. Monica Geller : Here you go. You can wear this. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ooh, I'm setting the phone down. But I'm still here! Just don't go anywhere I'm still here. Don't-don't switch or anything, 'cause I'm, I'm right here. Just one sec. One sec! One second!! Wait! One second! Just... Monica Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Monica, I'm scared!! Monica Geller : All right. Honey, that's-that's a sleeve. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : And! We also have speaker phone. Hold Voice : Please, stay on the line. Your call is important to us. Monica Geller : Okay, wait, you gotta hang up 'cause we're gonna be late. Hold Voice : Thank you for your patience, you're the next caller. Phoebe Buffay : Yes!! Yes!! I'm the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up. Chandler Bing : Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre? Monica Geller : Of course not. Phoebe Buffay : No. Chandler Bing : Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else. Ross Geller : Hey, hey Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : How are you? Ross Geller : Good. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : So it's looks like we're the first ones here. Rachel Green : Yeah, looks that way. First ones here! Wooo!! Ross Geller : Yay!! Rachel Green : Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy. Tommy : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Oh, I'm sorry, this is Cailin. Ross Geller : And! Break!! Rachel Green : Okay, uhh, I think I'm going to run to the ladies room. Tommy : Okay. Cailin : I'll join you. Tommy : I'll get our seats. Ross Geller : Okay. So uh, well, this-this is uh, this is awkward. Tommy : Yeah? Ross Geller : Well y'know 'cause Rachel and I used to go out. Tommy : Oh, I didn't, I didn't know that. Ross Geller : Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh... Tommy : I think we're here. Ross Geller : Oh! Yeah. Tommy : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay. Uh, huh. Excuse me, I'm sorry, I-I think you may be in our seats. Man : Umm, no, I don't think so. Tommy : Can-can we take a look at your ticket? Man : Sure. Ross Geller : Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh... Man : Oh, well I thought that ah... Tommy : Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didn't really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look you're surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?! Man : Uh, the usher told us to come... Tommy : Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! Here! Hey man, you want the aisle? Ross Geller : No, I'm good. Chandler Bing : There he is! Monica Geller : There's our star! Joey Tribbiani : So, so, what'd ya think? Chandler Bing : Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw. Joey Tribbiani : I-I wasn't in that. Chandler Bing : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate. Monica Geller : Hi! The Director : Excuse me. Excuse me. Sweetheart! Come! Chandler Bing : So that's the girl you like. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : I'm telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think he's baaad news! Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, wait a minute, you don't like the guy Rachel's dating? Well, that's odd. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, Lauren. Uh, you guys this is, this is Kate's understudy, Lauren. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Lauren : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Gosh, you look soo familiar. Lauren : Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day. Cailin : So. How'd you guys meet? Peter Becker : Well ah, the short version is, I ah pursued her for a couple of months, then I gave her a check for 20,000 dollars, and she was mine. Monica Geller : Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version. Estelle Leonard : Joey, sweetheart, you were fabulous! Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys, this is my agent, Estelle. Estelle Leonard : How do you do. Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! Did they have representation? Joey Tribbiani : No, they-they weren't in the play. Rachel Green : We're not actors. Estelle Leonard : Ooh, what a shame! Because with her face and her chest I could really put something together. Chandler Bing : Could I borrow it? Cailin : Hi! Remember me? Ross Geller : Hi! Yeah! Tommy's in line for the bathroom and someone just cut in front of him, I think he's gonna snap. Cailin : Ross, I'm gonna go. Ross Geller : Go? Why? Cailin : I don't know. Could be because I don't feel like standing around all night waiting for some guy who may or may not scream. Ross Geller : But-but Cailin, he definitely will scream. Cailin : Good bye Ross. Ross Geller : Uh, oh-ho bye. The Director : Here we go people! Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, blah-la-la-la... Ah-ha! Joey Tribianni, gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production. Joey Tribbiani : Yes!!! Ha-ha-ha! The Director : Kate Miller's awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is... Thank you, boys and girls, you've ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mother's crab cakes! Excuse me!! Joey Tribbiani : Anyone mind if I save this? Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, is the play over? Monica Geller : Yeah. Where were you? Hold Voice : Thank you for your patience, you're the next caller. Monica Geller : You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be going crazy. Phoebe Buffay : Nah. I kept myself busy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, yeah. I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Are you okay? Kate Miller : Fabulous. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, drama critics they're nothing but, but people who couldn't make it as actors. You know what you should do? Kate Miller : Become a drama critic! The Director : I am hurt! A plague on both your houses! Kate Miller : By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, classy. Kate Miller : Yep! I sure know how to pick 'em, huh? Y'know I gave up a part on a soap for this! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Yeah I ah, I gave up a job too. Kate Miller : Really. What? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, de-clawing cats. Hey, tell ya what. Let me walk you home. We'll stop by every news stand and burn every copy of their Times and the Post. Kate Miller : Why the Post? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you didn't see the Post? Kate Miller : No. You? Joey Tribbiani : No. Why? Kate Miller : So you really think those newspapers are just jealous of me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, absolutely! You're talented and you're good looking. Kate Miller : Oh, you're sweet and cute. Joey Tribbiani : I know! That's why they trashed me! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Kate Miller : What? Joey Tribbiani : I, I don't get you. I mean first, you hate me. Then you sleep with me. Then you want nothing to do with me, now you want me again. Kate Miller : What? So you never went out with an actress before? Joey Tribbiani : Kate, do you even like me? Kate Miller : Of course I do. Joey Tribbiani : Well so, how come you blew me off? Y'know? How come you were with him? Kate Miller : I don't know! I just, just do this! I-I always have to pick the like the smartest guy, or-or the most talented guy... Why can't I just pick someone like you? Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Kate Miller : You know what I mean. I mean like the sweetest guy. Joey, you're just so, you're so, so... Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay, okay, hey. There we go, let's get your feet up there. Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. I'm gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl. Hold Voice : Please stay on the line. You're call is very important to us. Monica Geller : Pheebs, you've been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isn't healthy. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, I'm fine, and y'know why? 'Cause of all the riboflavin. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Didn't you have that outfit on last night? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I stayed at Kate's, but ah, nothing happened. Hey, Pheebs, where were ya? Phoebe Buffay : I'm so, so, so sorry, Joey. I definitely am gonna see you're play. I swear you're play is very important to us, thank you for your patience. You're play is the next play is the next play I'm gonna see. Monica Geller : Anyway, how did it go with Kate? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was great! Yeah, I-I walked her home, and it was amazing how much we connected, y'know? Then ah, then she passed out, but then she woke up. Yeah? And we stayed up all night talking, and now we're like totally crazy about each other! Monica Geller : Joey, you had the night! Joey Tribbiani : What? Monica Geller : When two people finally realise their feelings for each other, and-and they talk for hours, and they-they learn all about the other person! Joey Tribbiani : You-you think? Monica Geller : Did you like learn about her family? Joey Tribbiani : Two brothers, one died! Monica Geller : Yes!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah?! Monica Geller : Oh! Gunther : This is from the woman at the bar. Chandler Bing : Oh-ho-ho-ho. Gunther : Sorry. She thought you were somebody else. Rachel Green : What time is it? Monica Geller : One. Ross Geller : One. Chandler Bing : 7:15. Watch doesn't work. Rachel Green : Tommy's supposed to be here soon, we're going to lunch. Ross Geller : Look. Look, I wasn't going to say anything to you, but... All right, I don't think you should be seeing Tommy anymore. Rachel Green : You don't?! Ross Geller : No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him. Rachel Green : Umm, or, maybe, I should stay away from all men. Ross Geller : No, it's not just 'cause I'm jealous. I mean I'm not, I'm not, I'm not jealous, okay? It's... Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats. Chandler Bing : Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, banging his hands together! Ross Geller : Okay, fine, fine. You don't want to believe me? No, that's fine. Monica Geller : We're kidding! Chandler Bing : Ross, don't. Ross! Ross Geller : You don't want to believe me, I'm Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny... Tommy : Whoa!! Ross Geller : Whoa, sorry Tommy. Tommy : What's in the cup, Ross? Ross Geller : Umm... Tommy : What is in the cup?! Ross Geller : Okay, it's coffee. Tommy : Ice coffee? Tell me it's ice coffee! Ross Geller : It's-it's hot... Tommy : Hot coffee!!! You idiot!! You were gonna spill hot coffee all over me, huh?!! What are you just some big, dumb, stupid, doofy idiot, with a doofy idiot hairdo, huh?! Huh?! Rachel Green : What's your favourite thing about summertime? Monica Geller : Umm, going to the beach. When it stays light real late. Rachel Green : Yeah... Tommy : Hey! Rachel Green : Tommyyyy! Say, what's your favourite thing about summer? Tommy : Ooh, I don't know. Probably the smell of freshly cut grass. Chandler Bing : Ohh, that's a good one. Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Sorry, I'm late; sorry, I'm late! My duck and my chick and a fight, it-it was ugly. Stage Manager : Look, we held the curtain for you buddy. Come on, let's go! Let's go! Lauren : Vic! Where have you been, baby?! Joey Tribbiani : Where's Kate? Lauren : She got a job in L.A. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Lauren : I've been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? Where have you been? Vic?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ahh, go to the window. I'm wanna run down to the truck and show you something. Lauren : What do you got down there, Vic? What do you got under that tarp? Joey Tribbiani : When is she leaving? Lauren : Tonight. What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : I'm coming up! Tommy : Hey, mind if I use the phone? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I... Chandler Bing : Why don't you use ours across the hall, 'cause she...has...problems. Ross Geller : Oh-ho, whoa! Sorry, Tommy. I almost spilled this hot coffee on you. Tommy : Yeah, but you didn't. Ross Geller : No, but it's-it's-it's hot! Rachel Green : Ross, would you just stop it! It's getting really old. Ross Geller : I can't believe no one believes me! Phoebe Buffay : I do, I believe you. Ross Geller : You do Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. But I also believed her when she said I was next. Tommy : Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? Aww. Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, I'm so cute, I'm a little chick who's disgusting! God, you're so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!! Chandler Bing : Step away from the duck. Tommy : Ooh, sorry little Mr. Chic-A-Dee, sorry you went doody in my hand! Well, I guess we're not going out anymore. Whaa!!! Kate Miller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Kate Miller : I'm soo glad I caught you, I couldn't find you before. Joey Tribbiani : Wh-wh-what's going on? Wh-what's this about L.A.? Kate Miller : They still want me for General Hospital. Joey Tribbiani : But, but wh-what about us? Kate Miller : Last night was wonderful. But I-I can't stay here just for you. Joey Tribbiani : Well, so, stay for the museums! Kate Miller : I'm sorry. Stage Manager : Joey, onstage! Joey Tribbiani : Well can you at least stay to the end of the play? I mean, I'll go to the airport with ya, I-I wanna say good bye. Lauren : Where are you Vic? Kate Miller : Flight's in an hour. I-I gotta go. Lauren : Vic! Vic! Vic!!! Joey Tribbiani : In a minute!! Lauren : So this is it? Victor? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess it is. Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick 'cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, you've got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so... I'm gonna get on this spaceship, and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, you'll be long gone. But I won't have aged at all. So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, I'm gonna want to meet her. Lauren : So long, Vic! Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's been two days. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing it's one of those 801 numbers. Right? Ross Geller : Phoebe, 800 is toll free, 801 is-is Utah. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, oh no-no-no, it's has to be 800. 'Cause all those big companies have 800 numbers, every one. Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one. Rachel Green : Phoe-be!! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry, I'm so sorry, I will pay you back. Chandler Bing : And yet, she's still not hanging up the phone. #ALL# : Hang it up! Hang up the phone!! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Fine! Oh-oh! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think I broke it. But that's all right, here's the number you can call. Monica Geller : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, wouldn't be cool if our duck and chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck. Chandler Bing : Or... Dick. Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something. Chandler Bing : Was it like a sneeze only better? Ross Geller : No, no, I mean, I mean a thing on my body. Joey Tribbiani : What was it? Ross Geller : Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. Chandler Bing : Whoa!!! Chandler Bing : No!! Ross Geller : Come on you guys, it's no big deal! Chandler Bing : Whoa-heeeiiiiii-iiiii-ah!! Huh. Ross Geller : Well what is it? Is it a mole? Joey Tribbiani : No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole. Ross Geller : Well, eww. What? Is it a pimple? Chandler Bing : No, it's... fancier than a pimple. Look Ross, why don't you just go see a... Rachel Green : Hey guys! What's... Chandler Bing : Okay, well, it's definite, two more weeks of winter. Ross Geller : Ahhh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, right. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. Vince : Good deal. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and these are my friends. People. This is Vince, Vince the people. Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey! Vince : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Vince is a fireman. Rachel Green : Wow! Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building before? Vince : 98 hot saves, highest in the force. Chandler Bing : Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred. Vince : Fire safety is not a joke, son. Chandler Bing : You're right, I know. Vince : Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. See you Saturday. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Jason? Yeah, uh-huh, we're seeing each other tonight. Rachel Green : What-Pheebs?! Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know! I'm like playing the field. Y'know? Like, juggling two guys, I'm sowing my wild oats. Y'know? Y'know, this kind've like y'know oat-sowin', field-playin' juggler. Joey Tribbiani : So Pheebs, do they know about each other? Phoebe Buffay : Does a dog's lips move when he reads? Okay, no they don't. Ross Geller : Hey guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Well?! Chandler Bing : Okay, how'd it go at the doctor's? Ross Geller : Well, he said there's definitely nothing to worry about, it's totally benign. Joey Tribbiani : Well what is it?! Ross Geller : He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples. Ross Geller : At least they knew what yours was. Y'know, yours had a name. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross." Ross Geller : Yeah, that'd be cool! Monica Geller : Pete's breaking up with me. #ALL# : What?! Monica Geller : I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk. Rachel Green : And? Monica Geller : Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you. Monica Geller : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you. Jason : ...and I know I'll never miss doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool knowing that you're making a difference in a kid's life. Phoebe Buffay : That is so great! Oh, I... Oh my God! Jason : Whoa! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!!! Jason : Ahh-ahh, we'd better call the fire department! Phoebe Buffay : No! No! Jason : No, no? Phoebe Buffay : Well, we don't n-n-n-n-need a fireman, we'd, we'd like a good mechanic. Oh my God, here they come! Well, we gotta get out of here! Jason : W-w-w-wait! Why?! Phoebe Buffay : Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? Ross Geller : Th-th-that's all it is, a third nipple. Y'know? Just your run-of-the-mill third nipple. Y'know? You can take it off. Just slice that baby right off! Dr. Rhodes : Take your shirt off, and let's see what we're dealing with here. What are you doing? Ross Geller : Just showing you my run-of-the-mill-slice-it-right-off third nipple. Dr. Rhodes : Well that's not a third nipple. Ross Geller : No? Dr. Rhodes : First of all, it's on your ass. Ross Geller : Well then, what is it?! Dr. Rhodes : Wait a minute, hold it. Johnson! Will you come in here a moment? Dr. Johnson : I'm with Hamilton! Dr. Rhodes : He's good with rear things, bring him in too. Monica Geller : I gotta go water Pete's plants. Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants. Chandler Bing : Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean. Joey Tribbiani : Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them. Phoebe Buffay : ...and I-I can't take it! Y'know? I'm just, always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other one. It's making me crazy. Rachel Green : Well honey, then why don't you break up with one of them? Phoebe Buffay : Uh. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field. Rachel Green : So Pheebs, pick one of them. Monica Geller : Yeah. Which one do you like more? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Vince is great, y'know `cause, he's like a guy, guy. Y'know? He's so burly, he's sooo very burly. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, good, so there you go. Go with Vince. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive. Chandler Bing : Well sensitive is important, pick him. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sure, go with the sissy. Phoebe Buffay : Jason is not a sissy! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler. Ross Geller : Y'know I have dinner plans!! Dr. Rhodes : Thank you soo much for coming on such a short notice. Ladies and gentlemen, I've-I've-I've been practicing medicine for twenty-three years, and I'm stumped. #ALL# : Whoa. Monica Geller : Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! Oh, see you just need to find the right command. Ross Geller : Yes, and the dimmer switch. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! For a rich guy he's got, that's a pretty small TV. Monica Geller : No-no-no, that's a video-phone. But hey guys you're not supposed to be here, so please, do not touch anything. Chandler Bing : I-kea! This is comfortable. Rachel Green : This place is amazing. Phoebe Buffay : God, that is the nicest kitchen. Monica Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : No! But it's the nicest kitchen, the refrigerator told me to have a great day. Joey Tribbiani : Look at this! A millionaire's checkbook. Monica Geller : Joey, put that down! Oh my God! It's Pete. Okay, get out!! How the hell do you answer a video-phone! Peter Becker : Monica? Monica Geller : I guess that's how. Peter Becker : Hey Monica, how's it going. Monica Geller : Oh it's umm, good! It's umm, it's good, just here watering the plants. Peter Becker : Well don't forget that fiches over there by Rachel. Rachel Green : Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!! Peter Becker : I see him, you guys are just the worst hiders ever. #ALL# : Hey Pete. Joey Tribbiani : Hi, how ya doing? Monica Geller : Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news. Peter Becker : Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. Hey, how's it going? Monica Geller : Oh no-no-no, it's still me. Peter Becker : Ah, no it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back. Monica Geller : Oh, oh, okay umm, so I'll see you soon. Peter Becker : Okay, I love you. Monica Geller : I love you. #ALL# : I love you, love you. Monica Geller : Okay. Well, it's good news. It's good news. Chandler Bing : So, what do you thing the good news is? Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is? Monica Geller : Oh my. Rachel Green : Monica's gonna marry a millionaire!!! Ross Geller : Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom! Call Mom! Pete's Mom : Hello. Monica Geller : And that's Pete's Mom. Rachel Green : Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, "Look how much money we've got!" Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean it'll be dry, but people will like it. Monica Geller : Would you stop? We've only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we don't even know if he's gonna propose. Chandler Bing : Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? He's not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys that's like a third or fourth date kinda thing. Monica Geller : Well if-if that's what it is, then it's-it's crazy. Ross Geller : Monica's right. We're talking about getting married here. Okay? She-she can't just rush into this. Rachel Green : Oh please, what do you know! You married a lesbian! Phoebe Buffay : All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince. Chandler Bing : Oh, so you're going with the teacher, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, it's just Jason's so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive it's just better than having just like a really, really, really nice butt. Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck! #ALL# : Good luck! Rachel Green : OH MY GOD!!! Sorry, I was just imagining what it'd be like to catch the money bouquet. Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me. Umm, is Vince here? Fireman : Oh sure. Vince?! Vince : Yo!! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I didn't know you guys actually used those. Vince : So, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, wow. This-this isn't gonna be easy. Umm, I don't think we should see each other anymore. Vince : Uh-huh. G-good deal. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Vince : No-no it's okay. It's just that ah, I thought we had something pretty special here. And y'know I-I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to, and... That there's so much in me I have to share with you yet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, I didn't... Vince : I'm sorry, I can't talk. I'm gonna go write in my journal. Phoebe Buffay : Wait-wait-wait! Wait!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy. Ross Geller : Thank you, but I want to remove it Pheebs. I don't want to make it savory. Monica Geller : Y'know when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it. Ross Geller : Gimme this. Rachel Green : Hi! Okay, don't be mad at me, but I couldn't resist. Monica Geller : Brides magazines? Rachel Green : Yes, and I know that you'd say no if he asked you, but I'm sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you so would! Oh, you should get that anyway. Like for clubbing. Monica Geller : It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. I know it's a little sudden, and it's a little rushed, and it's totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesn't mean I can't. Right? I mean I'm-I'm crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Monica Geller : I know. I need more pie. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Mon umm, if you do get married, can I bring two guests? Rachel Green : You didn't break up with that fireman? Phoebe Buffay : No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out he's incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me. Rachel Green : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well he'd prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal. Monica Geller : So then, are you going to dump Jason? Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and... Okay so Jason is sensitive, but now so's Vince Plus, Vince has the body y'know? So... It's really just about the math. Phoebe Buffay : Jason? Jason : Yeah, come on in. Jason : So Phoebe, you ah, sounded kinda serious on the phone, is ah, is anything wrong? Phoebe Buffay : Nah-ha! Guru Saj : You must be Ross. Ross Geller : Hi. Guru Saj : I am Guru Saj. Ross Geller : Listen, I got to tell you I've-I've never been to a guru before, so... Guru Saj : Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, I've attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, let's take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. Come on, have a seat. Eeh, huh. As I suspected, it's a koondis! Ross Geller : What's a koondis? Guru Saj : I don't know, what's a koondis with you? Please, lie down! I've got a sav that oughta shrink that right up. Ross Geller : I guess it's worth a try. Guru Saj : Oh sure, we should see results-Whoa!! Clearly not the way to go!! Ross Geller : What?! What?! Guru Saj : We appear to have angered it. Ross Geller : We?! We angered it?! Guru Saj : Oh, I think I see the problem. And I'm afraid we're gonna have to use a much stronger tool. Love. Ross Geller : Oh God! Guru Saj : Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to... Ross Geller : Ow!! Guru Saj : Oops. Ross Geller : What was, what was that? Guru Saj : Well it's gone. Ross Geller : What?! How's that? Guru Saj : It got caught on my watch. Ross Geller : Hey! Peter Becker : Lights. Uh, romantic lights. Monica Geller : Ooh, nice. Peter Becker : So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about. Monica Geller : Oh, right! I completely forgot about that. Peter Becker : Well ah, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I look at my life... Monica Geller : Yeah? Peter Becker : And I feel like I've conquered the business world, and I feel like I've conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world. Monica Geller : Wow. Peter Becker : There's one thing missing. Monica Geller : What's that? Peter Becker : It's time for me to conquer the physical world. Monica Geller : Okay. Peter Becker : Monica, I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion. Monica Geller : You wanna what?! Peter Becker : I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! It's the most intense physical competition in the world, it's banned in 49 states! Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Peter Becker : Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, I've even had my own octagon training ring designed. Monica Geller : And I suppose you used a ring designer for that. Peter Becker : Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think? Monica Geller : My parents will be so happy. Phoebe Buffay : "Crazy underwear, creepin' up my butt. Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under--wear..." Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. You'll get through this; you'll be fine. Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show. Jason : Hey. I was... Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Jason : I was passin' by and I saw that you were playing tonight, it's kinda cool seeing you up there. Vince : Whoa! Hey-hey! What's going on here? Who is this guy? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, he just started kissing me. Get him! Get him, Vince! Vince : What?! Jason : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay, I've-I've been dating both of you, and it's been really horrible. 'Cause y'know it's been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didn't know how to chose, so... I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm terrible, I'm a terrible person. I'm terrible. Vince : Phoebe, Phoebe relax, it's okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive. Jason : Yeah, and neither did we. Give yourself a break. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Jason : Yeah. I mean y'know, we haven't been going out that long. Come on, we haven't even slept together yet. Huh. Vince : You haven't? Jason : You have? Phoebe Buffay : Well, this is none of my business. Jason : I-I can't believe this! You-you've slept with him?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park. Jason : Y'know Phoebe, I'm gonna make this real easy for you. Phoebe Buffay : Well, that could've been really awkward. Vince : You made him a candle light dinner in the park? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but I-I-I-I can do that for you, I'm gonna do that for you. Vince : Uh yeah, I can't believe I ever went out with somebody who would actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooden area. Chandler Bing : Everything's gonna be all right. Okay, Dick? Guru Saj : Hello, I am Guru Saj--Whoa!! That's supposed to be a duck right? 'Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. He's got a, he's got a really bad cough, and our vet, he can't do anything about it. Is there something you can do? Guru Saj : Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat? Chandler Bing : Do you think that there's a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as you're driving into town there's-there's like a sign, and it says "You're in Sample." Monica Geller : Hey. #ALL# : Hey! Rachel Green : How'd it go with Pete?! Joey Tribbiani : Tell us! Monica Geller : You're not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over... Billy : I'm sorry. Ex-excuse us. I'm sorry, it's a little crowded. Do you mind if we... Robin Williams : Yeah, could you scooch? Billy : Yeah, move over just a little bit. Robin : Keep on scooching. Monica Geller : So guys, listen, I go over there, and umm... Robin : Why? Why?! What's wrong with me?! Billy : What's the matter? Robin : I have a feelin'... I, my wife is sleeping with her gynaecologist. Billy : How do you know? Robin : Well y'know, he's got access. Billy : Yeah. Robin : Y'know it's that feeling you get, y'know? Billy : Like when you go bowling and you know you're in somebody else's shoes? Robin : That's the one. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so, so you went to Pete's... Ross Geller : What happened? Monica Geller : I... Robin : Why is this happening to me?! I don't know, maybe it's my wound. Monica Geller : Forget it. Billy : So it's-it's not heeled yet? Robin : No-no, it's ooozing, oozing. Could you pass me the cream? Is there any-Oh, there's the cream. Billy : Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else. Robin : What is it, Tim? Billy : It's me, I've been sleeping with your wife. Joey Tribbiani : So you're the gynaecologist? Billy : Hey, I'm trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?! Robin : Ooh, Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? Would you--Give me this thing all right!! Enough! And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! Get away from me!! Billy : Thomas, come back here! Phoebe Buffay : So Monica, what were you gonna tell us? Monica Geller : I have no idea. Rachel Green : So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker? Phoebe Buffay : No-no-no oh, keep your name, don't take his name. Monica Geller : He didn't ask me to marry him. #ALL# : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Well then definately don't take his name. Monica Geller : He wanted to tell me he's gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy. The Guys : Pete?! Rachel Green : Why?! What is it? Monica Geller : I don't know exactly. It's-it's sorta like wrestling. Phoebe Buffay : Oh?! Monica Geller : Yeah, but without the costumes. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : And it's not fake, it's totally brutal. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's two guys in a ring, and the rules are "There are no rules." Monica Geller : So you can like, bite, and pull people's hair and stuff? Ross Geller : Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking. Monica Geller : What's fish hooking? Ross Geller : Huh, what's fish hooking... Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste? Joey Tribbiani : What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath. Doug : So thanks for the warm welcome. It's good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, let's go out there and get 'em! Huh? And remember, there is no 'I' in team. Chandler Bing : Yes, but there's two in martini, soo everybody back to my office. Doug : You! Chuckles! What's your name? Chandler Bing : Oh it's Bing, sir. I'm sorry , I was just ah... Doug : No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. This team is about hard work, but it's also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! Ross Geller : That's right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. Thank you. Yeah, we have the reservations. Rachel Green : Yes!! Chandler Bing : All right buddy, way to go! Ross Geller : Dude, what are you doing? Chandler Bing : Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal. Phoebe Buffay : Yeesh, what'd you do about it? Chandler Bing : Well, I didn't do anything. I didn't want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom. Monica Geller : I gotta tell ya, I think it's okay to be that guy. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, maybe it's like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. Rachel Green : Y'know I don't, I don't understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin' her boob. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between 'em. Monica Geller : Okay, can we please go eat? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. What are we getting? Monica Geller : Anything but stew. Ross Geller : All right so, Chandler, from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, don't turn your back to him. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad? Chandler Bing : What if Joey were president? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date? Rachel Green : Oh, ah with who? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two aren't together, she asked if I could set it up, but if you're not cool with it... Rachel Green : Oh-oh-oh, which one is Bonnie again? Phoebe Buffay : You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. She's yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald... Rachel Green : Oh! That's fine. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Okay, good for you! Hoshi : You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half? Peter Becker : I told you, we're adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training? Hoshi : It's just hard when I know I have e-mail I can't get! Monica Geller : Hi! Peter Becker : Monica! Hi honey. Hoshi : All right, on the table. Monica Geller : Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I don't want you to get hurt, 'cause I kinda like you. Peter Becker : Oh, believe me, I don't want to get hurt either. I'm being smart about this. See these guys? They're the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. A house painter! He used to be a house painter. Monica Geller : Promise me you'll be careful. Peter Becker : I promise. Monica Geller : Hey, are we still on for tonight? Peter Becker : Yeah. Monica Geller : Okay, good, 'cause umm, well maybe we could have a little workout of our own... Hoshi : No! No boom-boom before big fight! Monica Geller : How 'bout just a boom? Rachel Green : Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies? Phoebe Buffay : Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. Bonnie : Hi! Rachel Green : This is Bonnie? This is Bonnie? You're Bonnie? Bonnie : I can show you an ID if you want? Rachel Green : Oh no, I'm sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you. Bonnie : Oh yeah, well I just started wearing bras again. Rachel Green : Oh, that must be it. Phoebe Buffay : Well I hope you have fun tonight. Bonnie : Thanks! You too. Rachel Green : You said she was bald. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she was bald, she's not now. Rachel Green : How could you not tell me that she has hair? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I hardly ever say that about people. Rachel Green : Ohh, well, this is just perfect! Phoebe Buffay : Well I'm sorry, I thought you said it was okay. Rachel Green : Yeah, I said what was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, y'know, that girl has hair got all over head! Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe it won't work out. Maybe Ross won't like her personality. Rachel Green : Why, does she have a bad personality? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, Bonnie's the best! Doug : Bing! Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. Wham! Good one. That was a good one. Keep at it team. Chandler Bing : What is with him? Phil : With him? You're is favourite, you're his guy! Stevens : We never get smacked. Chandler Bing : Well, that's not true, he-he smacked you once. Phil : Not on purpose, he ricocheted of you and got me. Stevens : I'm telling you, I need some smacks. I got a kid starting Dartmouth in the fall. Doug : Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing? Chandler Bing : No sir. Doug : There you go. Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : God Ross, what is that? Ross Geller : Yeah, it's the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!! Announcer : From New York City, New York! Appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut! He's known for his confrontational business style. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Pete Beck-errrr!! Monica Geller : I love you, Pete!!! Announcer : And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! He's a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!! Monica Geller : Pete! Pete!! That guy's pretty huge! Peter Becker : Don't worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponent's strength and weight against him. Ross Geller : Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble. Ross Geller : All right! You go get him! Let's go! Referee : Here we go gentlemen, here we go! Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's get it on!! Peter Becker : Uh-oh. Monica Geller : Hey! It's me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you. Peter Becker : It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant "You suck!" Monica Geller : I mean I-I thought you were nuts at first, but you-you did it. And now you can just look back at this thing with no regrets. Peter Becker : What, look back? Monica Geller : Well, you're not gonna get going are you? Peter Becker : Well let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion? Monica Geller : Well, no. But... Peter Becker : Well I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion. Monica Geller : That guy stood on your neck until you passed out! Peter Becker : Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dad's garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck. Monica Geller : You didn't know that already? Peter Becker : Look, I'm gonna get better. Okay? I promise you. Monica Geller : Okay, just get a lot better. Fast. Peter Becker : Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration. Monica Geller : Yeah. That-that was the problem. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey! How long until Pete's fight? Monica Geller : Oh, about five minutes. Right now they're interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves. Ross Geller : Hot dog? Monica Geller : Four, please. I'm really nervous. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie? Ross Geller : What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasn't expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasn't expecting to like anyone right now, but she's really terrific. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, that's too bad! Ross Geller : No, I-I'm saying I liked her. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea. Ross Geller : Pheebs, I think she's great. Okay? We're going out again. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else? Chandler Bing : Hey! Which one's my turkey burger? Ross Geller : Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, the fight's starting! Ross Geller : Okay, we'll be right in. So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today? Chandler Bing : Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, it's gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow I'm conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free. Joey Tribbiani : Fight's over! Chandler Bing : Excuse me, Doug? Hey there sports fan!! Doug : Bing! You got those numbers for me? Chandler Bing : No, I ah, I didn't do them. Doug : Oh, you forgot? Chandler Bing : No, no I just ah, didn't do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly don't deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise. Doug : Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. That's okay, you're still my number one guy! Bing! Chandler Bing : Doug!! Doug : Hmm. Chandler Bing : I'm a little bit uncomfortable with the that way you express yourself. Doug : Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass! Chandler Bing : No, no. It-it's not about the swearing, it's more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock. Doug : Oh? Chandler Bing : Oh, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. It's just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, it's making all the other guys jealous. Doug : Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! You're okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Doug : Ha! Ahhhhhhh! Chandler Bing : Ahhhhh! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe look, it's Ross and that girl. Phoebe Buffay : No! No! Look at that! It's a line of ants! They're working as a team! Rachel Green : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Let's go. Rachel Green : Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay that's, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, that's what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh... Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! That really is nothing, she is very sexually aggressive. Rachel Green : Ohh! Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, he's gonna marry her, and this is all your fault. Phoebe Buffay : You said it was okay! Rachel Green : You said she was bald!! Phoebe Buffay : What?! What-what-what-what-what?!! Rachel Green : Phoebe, we can't, we just can't just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I don't get it. Aren't you the one that decided that you didn't want to be with Ross? Rachel Green : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Well isn't he your friend? Don't you want him to be happy? Rachel Green : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : So? Rachel Green : I just y'know, I didn't expect him to be this happy so soon. Ufff. Ooo-ooh! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, we killed them all. Rachel Green : Oh! Peter Becker : It's okay, it's not as bad as it looks, it's a precaution. Ah, I'm not supposed to move my spine. Monica Geller : Please tell me you're stopping now. Peter Becker : I'm fine! I'd fight tonight, if they'd let me. See this circle I'm marking off here? This is my zone of terror. Monica Geller : You are insane! You-you gotta give this up! Peter Becker : I can't until I'm the ultimate fighter. I will do it. I'm telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, I'm not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid. Monica Geller : Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!! Peter Becker : Y'know I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adam's Apple, but that really hurt. Monica Geller : Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then you're gonna have to do it without me. Peter Becker : Well if you're asking me to quit, then you're asking me to be someone I'm not. I've got to do this. Monica Geller : Then I've gotta go. Bye. Peter Becker : Mon-Monica? Monica Geller : Yes? Peter Becker : Could you leave a note? 'Cause I'm on a lot of pain killers now, and I don't know if I'll remember this tomorrow. Doug : So, in conclusion, the lines all go up , so I'm happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. Phil! Nice job. Stevens! Way to go! Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! Bing! Good job, couldn't have done it without ya. Chandler Bing : Thank you, sir. Stevens : Oh, excuse me. I forgot my briefcase y'know, by accident. Doug : Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! Well, what about you? You're not feeling left out or anything are ya? Chandler Bing : No. No, not at all, that's-that's ridiculous. Doug : Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Don't you? Chandler Bing : Ye-ye-yeah, yes I do! Doug : Now get on out of here, you! Tv Announcer : Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, he's just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just... Chandler Bing : Run! Run you crazy, rich freak! Rachel Green : Oh, I can't watch this. Joey Tribbiani : Check it out, he's winning! Pete's winning! Monica Geller : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : No-o-o!! Tv Announcer : Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favourite area. #ALL# : Oh! Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, if that's his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it? Ross Geller : Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didn't want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete can't. #ALL# : Ohh!! Chandler Bing : So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?! Bonnie : All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I don't know, we were, we were making out. Chandler Bing : Tell it again. Seriously. Rachel Green : I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography. Monica Geller : Joey, she was listing the countries she's done it in. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I think we all learned something. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! That's my Mom's writing! Look. Chandler Bing : Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what that means? Joey Tribbiani : That you're actually 50? Phoebe Buffay : No-no, that's not, that's not me Phoebe, that's her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. Best Friends Forever. #ALL# : Oh! Rachel Green : That is so cool. Phoebe Buffay : I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach? #ALL# : Yeah! Yeah, we can! Bonnie : Shoot! I can't go, I have to work! Ross Geller : That's too bad. Rachel Green : Ohh, big, fat bummerrr. Phoebe Buffay : So great! Okay! Tomorrow we're gonna drive out to Montauk. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Bonnie had sex there! Monica Geller : Would you look at them. Am I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid. Chandler Bing : You're not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook. Monica Geller : Thanks! Chandler Bing : Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, I'll be your boyfriend. Monica Geller : Yeah right. Chandler Bing : Why is that so funny? Monica Geller : You made a joke right? So I laughed. Chandler Bing : Ha-ha-ha. A little to hard. What am I not ah, boyfriend material? Monica Geller : Well, no. You're Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! Chandler Bing : Okay, so we've established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we weren't friends, say it's a blind date. I show up at your door, and I'm like "Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey." Monica Geller : Well I'd probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Oh, hey! Oh good, you brought food! Joey Tribbiani : No, it's just my luggage. Chandler Bing : Hey!! Joey Tribbiani : Woo-hoo! All right! Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house. Ross Geller : Yeah? What about ah, that bike messenger you hit? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wasn't talking about his karma. Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, check out the hat! Chandler Bing : What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I can't have children!! Monica Geller : Seriously, where did you get the hat? Rachel Green : Ross gave it to me. Ross Geller : Yeah, I think she looks good. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you. Chandler Bing : Buy it for ya, or win it for ya? Rachel Green : Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back. Phoebe Buffay : And this time, they've ganged up to form one giant, super hat. Ross Geller : Go, go, go! Rachel Green : Oh yeah, now everybody wants to be under this hat! Phoebe Buffay : Oy!! Monica Geller : What's with all this sand? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, Bob said there might be flood damage. Ross Geller : Yeah, either that, or he has a really big cat. Phoebe Abbott : Well, yes, it's kind've an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there. Phoebe Buffay : Knock, knock, knock. Phoebe Abbott : Ah, oh, hang on a second. Come in, come in. All right, so think about it, and call me back. Phoebe Buffay : Are you ah, Phoebe Abott? Phoebe Abbott : Ahh, yes. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Phoebe Abott, I'm your best friends daughter! Phoebe Abbott : You're Erwin's daughter?! Phoebe Buffay : No, I-I mean your-your old best friend, here. Lily, from high school. Remember? Phoebe Abbott : Oh gosh, Lily, yes. Of course I remember Lily. I... Then you must be? Phoebe Buffay : Phoebe. Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She named me after you I guess. Phoebe Abbott : Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! There's Frank. Phoebe Buffay : Yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!! That's my Dad, that's Frank! Yeah! I'm sorry I'm getting all flingy. Phoebe Abbott : Take it easy--if you want, there's cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! I can make sangria! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, sorry. Cookies are good, thanks. Phoebe Abbott : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Well, so, umm, anyway umm, I've been, I've been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him? Phoebe Abbott : Oh no, I-I'm sorry, I guess we lost track of everybody after high school. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Well, so tell me everything about my parents. Everything. Phoebe Abbott : Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, what? What was it? Phoebe Abbott : The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no, it was great. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know what a really good rainy day game is? Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : I mean naked game. Strip poker, we should totally play strip poker. #ALL# : No, no! Monica Geller : What are you crazy?! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, it's like a law! Rachel Green : Allll done! Monica Geller : Aww, thank you. Rachel Green : Okay, who's next?! Ross Geller : No-o-o! No way! Rachel Green : Come on, please?! I'm boredddd! You let me do it once before. Ross Geller : Yeah well, if ah, if that's the rule this weekend... No! Rachel Green : Yes! Ross Geller : Get away! Rachel Green : Just once! Ross Geller : Stay away! Rachel Green : Take it like a man, Ross! Ross Geller : No! No! Rachel Green : Oh, come on! Chandler Bing : Big bullies!! Ross Geller : Ow! Ow! Oh, no-no-no! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, so, how are we doing? Chandler Bing : Bored and bored! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know what naked card game is never boring? #ALL# : Noo!! Monica Geller : So what's Phoebe like? Phoebe Buffay : I'm kind, caring, and sweet. What's Monica like? Monica Geller : Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is. Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Really?! Monica Geller : Oh well, where is he?! Phoebe Buffay : She was acting, she was pretending like she hasn't heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look ! Isn't this what he would look like now? Monica Geller : Totally familiar. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. The Guys : Yeah! Monica Geller : Well, why would she lie to you? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, but we're having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, she's gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I don't know! So, you're all bored? #ALL# : Ohh!! Chandler Bing : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'm gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, all right. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Fan out! Fan out! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ooh, y'know we could just do this. Chandler Bing : Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker. Joey Tribbiani : OH YES!!!!! Monica Geller : Strip Happy Days Game? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, I couldn't find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff. Ross Geller : Okay, Fonzy gives you two thumbs up, collect two cool points. Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasn't happened yet, but we're all very excited. Ross Geller : Okay, come on! Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! Okay. Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and let's see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni. The Girls : Woo-hooooo!!!! Joey Tribbiani : All right, relax. It's just a shoe. #ALL# : Wooooo!!!! Rachel Green : Okay, your band is playing at Arnold's, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joey's boxers! Joey Tribbiani : Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, take 'em off!! Joey Tribbiani : Actually, y'know it's kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff? Rachel Green : All right, I'm gonna make more margaritas! Ross Geller : Whoa, hey! What are doing? Trying to get me drunk? Rachel Green : I'm just making margaritas. Ross Geller : Okay. Monica Geller : I think I'll help her out. What is going on here? Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : You painting his toenails? Rachel Green : Oh, come on! Monica Geller : Chasing him all around the room? Rachel Green : Monica, please? Monica Geller : He's totally flirting with you too. Rachel Green : He is, isn't he? I don't know, I don't know, I mean maybe it's just being here at the beach together or, I don't know. But it's like something... Bonnie : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Hi Bonnie! Bonnie : Hi! My boss let me off early, so I took the train. Ross Geller : Oh. Bonnie : What are you guys doing?! Joey Tribbiani : We're playing Strip Happy Days Game! Bonnie : Cool! I'll catch up! Chandler Bing : So, you still don't think I'm boyfriend material? Monica Geller : Huh? Chandler Bing : I saw you checking me out during the game last night. Monica Geller : You didn't even take off your pants. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, lucky for you. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Rachel Green : Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?! Phoebe Buffay : Shhh! Shhhh! Joey's asleep. Phoebe Buffay : After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm. Rachel Green : Well I assume the ah, happy couple isn't up yet. Did you guys hear them last night? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, I don't know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house. Ross Geller : Good morning. #ALL# : Hey. Bonnie : Hey! How did everybody sleep? Rachel Green : Oh, great. Monica Geller : Like a log. Bonnie : Us too. Rachel Green : I'm going for a walk. Ross Geller : Good morning. Nice breasts by the way. Bonnie : Hey, what happened to you? Rachel Green : Oh, ah nothin'. I just felt like hangin' out here and reading. Bonnie : Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came off. Rachel Green : Ohhhh, sorry I missed that. Bonnie : Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny. Rachel Green : Ohh-ha-ha! Bonnie : I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head. Rachel Green : Y'know, I gotta tell ya, I just loved your look when you were bald. Bonnie : Really?! Rachel Green : Ohh! Bonnie : Because I think about shaving it all off again sometime. Rachel Green : Really?! Bonnie : Yeah! Rachel Green : I mean you definitely should do that. Bonnie : Y'know what, I should do it. Rachel Green : Yeah! Bonnie : Yeah, thank you Rachel, you are soo cool. Rachel Green : Awww, stop. Come on. Now go shave that head! Bonnie : All right. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. She's avoiding me, she doesn't want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she won't tell me. Rachel Green : Aww Pheebs, that sucks! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, don't "Aww Pheebs, that sucks!" me yet. Chandler Bing : Where ya going? Phoebe Buffay : Well, she's out of town so, there's gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is. Ross Geller : Uh, Pheebs, some people call that breaking and entering. Phoebe Buffay : Well, are any of those people here?! #ALL# : Oh, no!! No, no! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, look I-I-I do something nice, okay? I'll-I'll fill her ice trays. Bonnie : Hey, everybody! #ALL# : Wow!! Ross Geller : Wh-haa-haa! Look what 'cha did! Bonnie : You wanna touch it? Ross Geller : Nooo, but it, but it's great. Bonnie : Come on, touch it! Ross Geller : Okay. You can feel all the bones in your skull. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, that's right, that's right, it was you! Rachel Green : That was her idea, I just gave her a nudge. Ross Geller : She said you gave her the razor! Bonnie : Hey guys. Rachel Green : Hey! Bonnie : So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean? Ross Geller : Ahh, no, I'm good. Bonnie : Okay, I'll see you in a bit. Ross Geller : Okay, have fun! Wooo!! Rachel Green : Come on see, she doesn't look that bad. Ross Geller : You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head! What the hell were you thinking?!! Rachel Green : I don't know. Ross Geller : You don't know?! Rach, you balded my girlfriend! Rachel Green : All right! Ross, do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else? Ross Geller : Y'know, hey! You're the one who ended it, remember? Rachel Green : Yeah, because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you! Ross Geller : You still love me? Rachel Green : Noo. Ross Geller : You still love me. Rachel Green : Oh, y-yeah, so, you-you love me! Ross Geller : Noo, nnnnn. What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together? Rachel Green : Noo! Maybe! I, I don't know. Ross, I still can't forgive you for what you did, I can't, I just, but sometimes when I'm with you I just, I feel so... Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : I just, I feel, I-I just... Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I feel... Chandler Bing : Noo!! I don't care! I'm not, I'm not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice! Joey Tribbiani : But I made cards!! Rachel Green : Well! Good night. I'm going upstairs. Chandler Bing : G'night. Joey Tribbiani : Wanna play strip poker for practice? Phoebe Buffay : Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. Oh, shhh! Phoebe Buffay : No! No!! It's me! It's me! I-I didn't want to make any noise! Phoebe Abbott : Then don't break in!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Phoebe Abbott : What are you doing here?! Phoebe Buffay : I-I, came to fill your ice cube trays. Phoebe Abbott : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, you're just mean! So, just tell me the truth! Phoebe Abbott : All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni. Phoebe Buffay : My Father is Chuck Magioni? Phoebe Abbott : No, no, that's just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And I'm very sorry, but I don't know where your Father is, and that's the truth. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Phoebe Abbott : But umm, you're right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, ahh, okay. I'm your mother. Phoebe Buffay : Heh? Phoebe Abbott : Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all floopy, and... Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling ya, you guys are totally getting back together! Ross Geller : That's not true! Her, she doesn't even know what she wants! Rachel's still mad about the whole thing. Chandler Bing : Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You don't need that kind've hurt. Take it from a guy who's never had a long term relationship...... Ross Geller : I know, but ahhhhhh!! I really wanna go up there and finish that kiss! Bonnie : Hey! Chandler Bing : Ahhhh! Bonnie : You guys, the water's great. You should really go in. Chandler Bing : Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M. Bonnie : Okay, well g'night. Ross Geller : Good night. Bonnie : Don't be too long. Ross Geller : Okey-dokey! Chandler Bing : There is not one hair on that head. Ross Geller : Hey, it'll grow back, right? And she-she's really fun, and she's cool, and-and I'm finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so , y'know? Y'know, and I'm finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesn't work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again? Joey Tribbiani : So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, you're doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on. Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnie's free tonight? Ross Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi there. Monica Geller : That's that weird voice again. Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, you're gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear! Chandler Bing : Hi! I'm Dorf! You're date for the evening. Oh come on! Dorf on dating, that's good stuff!! Ross Geller : Hi! Bonnie : Hi! Bonnie : Rachel was just helping me out. My head got all sunburned. Ross Geller : Awww. Bonnie : Thanks a million. Rachel Green : Oh, you're welcome a million. Bonnie : Okay, I'll see you in our room. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I know. Ross Geller : Okay, I gotta go. Rachel Green : Whoa! What?! Why?! Ross Geller : Well, I-I gotta go break up with Bonnie. Rachel Green : Here?! Now?! Ross Geller : Well, yeah. I can't-I can't stay here all night, and if I go in there she's-she's gonna wanna... do stuff. Rachel Green : Well, can't you tell her that you are not in the mood? Ross Geller : No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesn't work either, I can't tell you how many mornings I woke up with her... Rachel Green : Whoa-ho. Ross Geller : Whoa-oh, okay! Yeah, why am I telling you that? Rachel Green : I don't know. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. It wasn't every morning. Rachel Green : Oh, making it worse! Ross Geller : Okay. Phoebe Abbott : So I guess you'd like to know how it all happened. Phoebe Buffay : I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out. I guess y'know I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off! Phoebe Abbott : Noo! No! It wasn't like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close. Phoebe Buffay : How close? Phoebe Abbott : Well, the-the three of us we were, kind of umm, a couple. Phoebe Buffay : I don't even know how that would work! Phoebe Abbott : Well, we were... Phoebe Buffay : I'm not asking! Phoebe Abbott : Well, any how, some how I got pregnant, and, and I was scared. I was stupid and sellfish, and I was 18 years old. I mean, you remember what it's like to be eighteen years old? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Let's see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand. Phoebe Abbott : Well, I'm so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didn't even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I don't know, you're here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, everybody does! I'm a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didn't even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and I'm just, I'm gonna do the same thing to you. Phoebe Abbott : Wait! Phoebe Buffay : I don't ever want to see you again! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, where's my purse? Monica Geller : Shoot! We're out of soda. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'll go out and get you some. Monica Geller : Really?! Chandler Bing : Nope! Because I'm not your boyfriend. Hey Pheebs, how did it go? Phoebe Buffay : Well, umm, my Mom's friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom. Chandler Bing : I found a dried up seashores. Monica Geller : Sweety, what are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my new Mom, who-who's a big, fat abandoner! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, wait, Pheebs, wait a second! Don't you wanna stay here and talk about it? Phoebe Buffay : No. I'm just, I wanna, I need to be alone. Phoebe Buffay : Monica! Monica Geller : Oh. Ross Geller : It's over. Rachel Green : Oh, was it awful? Ross Geller : Well, it was loong. I didn't even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 o'clock shadow on her head. Anyway, she didn't want to stay. I called a cab; she just left. Rachel Green : I wrote you a letter. Ross Geller : Ohh! Thank you! I like mail. Rachel Green : It's just some things I've been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff. Ross Geller : Okay. Wow, it's-it's 5:30 in the morning. So, I'd better get cracking on this baby. Rachel Green : Well, I'll be waiting for you, just come up when you're done. Ross Geller : Okay, I'll be up in, 18 pages. Front and back. Very exciting. Ross Geller : Oh. Oh-oh. Rachel Green : Hey! What happened to you? Why didn't you come up? Ross Geller : Done! Rachel Green : You just finished? Ross Geller : Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice! Rachel Green : So umm, does it? Ross Geller : I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Does it? Ross Geller : Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole 'Does it?' part just another glance. Rachel Green : What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesn't, and if you have to even think about it... Ross Geller : No, Rach, no. I don't, I don't, I don't have to think about it, in fact, I've decided, I've decided that, that it.......does. Rachel Green : Are you sure? Ross Geller : Oh, sure! I'm sure. Rachel Green : I know. Chandler Bing : All right, there's a nuclear holocaust, I'm the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me? Monica Geller : Ennnh. Chandler Bing : I've got canned goods. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! Check this baby out, dug me a hole! Chandler Bing : Excellent hole, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no! No!! My hole!! Monica Geller : Ow!! Ow!!! Joey Tribbiani : What?! What?!! What is it?! Monica Geller : Jellyfish sting! Oh, it hurts! It hurts!! It hurts!! Chandler Bing : Well, can we help?! You want us to take you back to the house?! Monica Geller : It's like two miles! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and I'm a little tired from digging the hole. Monica Geller : Oh damn the jellyfish. Damn all the jellyfish! Chandler Bing : We've got to do something! Joey Tribbiani : Well, there's really only one thing you can do. Monica Geller : What?! What is it?! Joey Tribbiani : You're gonna have to pee on it. Monica Geller : What?!! Gross!! Joey Tribbiani : Don't blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, he's right. There's something like uh, ammonia in that, that like kills the pain. Monica Geller : Well forget it! It doesn't hurt that baaad!!!! Joey Tribbiani : If you want some privacy you can use my hole. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm ready to get the hell out of here! Oh. Are you? Are you?!! Ohh! That's so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. But for you, yay! Ohh. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : How was the beach? Monica Geller : Nothing, I don't know. Ross Geller : What happened? Monica Geller : Nothing. I'm gonna take a shower. Chandler Bing : Me too!! Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm gonna put this in the car. Rachel Green : Ooh, I have to go pack. It really does? Ross Geller : It does. It really and truly does. Ross Geller : It so does not!!! Ross Geller : She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! If you say that one more time, I'm gonna break up with you! Ross Geller : Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, "If you accept full responsibility..." Full responsibility! "...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. Does it?!!" Joey Tribbiani : No? Chandler Bing : Look, Ross, you have what you want, you're back with Rachel. If you bring this up now you're gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you. Ross Geller : Yeah, I know. I mean, no, you're right. Yeah I guess I'll let it go. But you-you understand how-how hard it is to forget about this. Joey Tribbiani : Sure, it's hard to forget! But that doesn't mean you have to talk about it! A lot of things happened on that trip that we should never, ever talk about. Ross Geller : What the hell happened on that beach?! Joey Tribbiani : It's between us and the sea, Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Ursula. Ursula Buffay : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well umm, I know that we haven't talked in a long time, but umm okay, our Mom is not our birth Mom. This-this other lady is our birth Mom. Ursula Buffay : Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : You know her?! Ursula Buffay : No, I umm, I read about her in Mom's suicide note. Phoebe Buffay : There-there was a suicide note?! Well, do you still have it? Ursula Buffay : Hang on. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you didn't tell me there was a suicide note! Ursula Buffay : Yeah. So how have you been doing? Phoebe Buffay : I, umm, shut up! Phoebe Buffay : "Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. I'll miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk." You just wrote this! Ursula Buffay : Well, it's pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right? Phoebe Buffay : Noooo!! Ursula Buffay : All right, hang on! Monica Geller : Pass the cheese, please. Monica Geller : My God, you can't even look at me! Can you? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : No. I'm-I'm to depressed to talk. Chandler Bing : I'll give you a thousand dollars to talk to us. Ross Geller : Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing? Chandler Bing : NO!!! Rachel Green : All right, that's it, you guys! What happened out there? Monica Geller : What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me. Rachel Green : Come on! Ross Geller : What happened? Joey? Joey Tribbiani : All right. Monica Geller : No! Joey, we swore we'd never tell! Chandler Bing : They'll never understand! Joey Tribbiani : Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! It's eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish. Monica Geller : All right!! All right. I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn't stand. I-I couldn't walk. Chandler Bing : We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it. Monica Geller : I was in too much pain. Joey Tribbiani : And I was tired from digging the huge hole! Chandler Bing : And then Joey remembered something. Joey Tribbiani : I'd seen this thing on The Discovery Channel... Ross Geller : Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?! Phoebe Buffay : Ewwww!! Monica Geller : You can't say that!! You-you don't know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldn't...bend that way. So... Phoebe Buffay : Ewwww!! Joey Tribbiani : That's right I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I'd pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldn't. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler. Chandler Bing : Joey kept screaming at me, "Do it now! Do it!! Do it! Do it now!!" Sometimes late at night I can still here the screaming. Joey Tribbiani : That's 'cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out. Phoebe Buffay : "...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm." Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. Except for you. You go away. Phoebe Abbott : I'll go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasn't been a day where I didn't regret giving you up. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye. Phoebe Abbott : No, I'm not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didn't look you up was, well I was afraid that you'd react, just well like, the way, the way you're reacting right now, and can't we just, y'know, start from here? Phoebe Buffay : No. Phoebe Abbott : Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. I'm family, I'm it. Now, now I'm done. Phoebe Buffay : But, it's not like we're losing anything. Y'know? Phoebe Abbott : Yeah, I guess you're right. Phoebe Buffay : It's not like we-we know each other or anything. Or that have anything in common. Phoebe Abbott : Well, I don't know. I mean it's not like we don't have anything in common. I mean I like uh, pizza. Phoebe Buffay : I-I like pizza! Phoebe Abbott : You do?! Wait, I like umm, the Beetles. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, so do I! Phoebe Abbott : I knew it, wow!! Phoebe Buffay : Wait-wait-wait, wait! Puppies. Cute or ugly? Phoebe Abbott : Ohh, so cute. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, well! But umm, still I'm-I'm mad at you. Phoebe Abbott : I know. I'm mad at me too. Phoebe Buffay : Well umm, do you wanna get something to eat? I'm kinda hungry. Phoebe Abbott : Hey! Me too! Phoebe Buffay : All right, stop it. Now you're just doing it to freak me out. Rachel Green : Oh-hooo, I missed you. Ross Geller : I missed you too. Rachel Green : Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much you've grown. Y'know? Ross Geller : I suppose. Rachel Green : You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Ross Geller : Umm-hmm. Rachel Green : Ooh, I just wish we hadn't lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective... Ross Geller : WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : Coffee house? Monica Geller : You bet. Ross Geller : And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!! Rachel Green : Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!! Ross Geller : I didn't know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn't finish the whole letter! Rachel Green : What?!! Ross Geller : I fell asleep! Rachel Green : You fell asleep?! Ross Geller : It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means 'you are,' Y-O-U-R means 'your!' Rachel Green : Y'know I can't believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!! Ross Geller : FINE BY ME!! Rachel Green : Oh, oh, and hey-hey-hey, those little spelling tips will come in handy when you're at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica!! Monica Geller : Hey!! Rachel Green : Sorry!! I just feel bad about all that sleep you're gonna miss wishing you were with me! Ross Geller : Oh, no-no-no don't you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter!!! Rachel Green : And hey! Just so you know, it's not that common! It doesn't happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!! Chandler Bing : I KNEW IT!!!! Monica Geller : Gin. Chandler Bing : We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked. Monica Geller : Will you stop! Chandler Bing : Okay. All right. Monica Geller : Okay, all right, I think you're great, I think you're sweet, and you're smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me. Monica Geller : Gin. Chandler Bing : We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked. Monica Geller : Will you stop! Chandler Bing : Okay. All right. Monica Geller : Okay, all right, I think you're great, I think you're sweet, and you're smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me. Chandler Bing : Wow! That ripped! That ripped real nice! Joey Tribbiani : How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide. Chandler Bing : You don't turn and slide, you throw it out! I'm tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed! Joey Tribbiani : Look, we're not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands! Chandler Bing : All right, how about we, how 'bout we sell it. Joey Tribbiani : All right. But, you're gonna have to tell them. Chandler Bing : Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? They seem all right with it! Chip Matthews : Hey Monica, it's Chip. Monica Geller : Yesss!! Ross Geller : Who's Chip? Monica Geller : Shhh! Chip Matthews : Good runnin' into you at the bank today, so ah, here's my number, 555-9323. Give me a call. Later. Monica Geller : Chip, is Chip Matthews. Ross Geller : The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you? Monica Geller : 'Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute. Ross Geller : Monica, you're so lucky! He's like the most popular guy in school!! Monica Geller : I know!! Chip? Hi! It's Monica. 'Kay. 'Kay. Okay. Okay, good-bye. Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! Ross Geller : I was just leaving. Rachel Green : Good! 'Cause I've got a product report to read, it's like eight pages, I hope I don't fall asleep. Ross Geller : Why? Did you write it? Rachel Green : Wow! Look at that, Chip Matthews called. I wonder what he wants? Ross Geller : Well ah, actually... Rachel Green : I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another guy. Ross Geller : Well, umm, why don't you give him a call? Rachel Green : Okay. Are you sure you wanna hear this? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sure. Rachel Green : Chip! Hi, it's Rachel. Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. Monica Geller. Ohh. Ross Geller : Oh, that's right! He called to ask out Monica! That-that's gotta be embarrassing! Phoebe Buffay : ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! Thank you, thanks. Ross Geller : Hey, here's a question; where did you guys get the finest oak East of the Mississippi? Chandler Bing : Uh-huh, first you tell us where you got the prettiest lace in all the land. Ross Geller : I'm reading your ad. Joey Tribbiani : Looks good, uh? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Stunning entertainment center. Fine, fine Italian craftsmanship. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center? Rachel Green : Why? I love that thing. Chandler Bing : You want it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Chandler Bing : Ahh, Gepeto, $5,000 dollars? Are you insane? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks! Chandler Bing : All right look, I'm changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer. Joey Tribbiani : What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant. Chandler Bing : Nooo. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. What do you do? Chandler Bing : I can't believe you don't know what I do for a living! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I actually don't know... Ross Geller : Good, so do I Rachel Green : Something to do with numbers? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! Come on. Crazy. Oh my God. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing. Nothing. Joey Tribbiani : What? What's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother. Rachel Green : You mean the mom you met in Montauk. She was a cat?! Phoebe Buffay : No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself. Ross Geller : Are you sure she's in the cat, or have you been taking your grandma's glycoma medicine again? Phoebe Buffay : No Dr. Skeptismo! I'm sure. First of all, okay, there's the feeling. Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. My Mother's favourite fish is Orange Roughy... Cats....like....fish! Hi, Mommy. Oh, I haven't seen this smile in 17 years! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, Phoebe's mom has got a huge peni... Chandler Bing : Let it go!! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Umm, when were you gonna tell me that you're going out with Chip Matthews? Monica Geller : Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews? Rachel Green : Nooo! It's not okay! I can't believe you would want to after what he did to me! Monica Geller : What, that little thing at the prom? Rachel Green : Monica! I couldn't find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch! Monica Geller : Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you? Rachel Green : I mean why, of all people would you want to go out with Chip?! Monica Geller : Look, you and I went to different high schools... Rachel Green : Okay, that doesn't help me, because we went to the same high school. Monica Geller : You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off Chip's motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform they had to have specially made. Rachel Green : They had to have that specially made?! Monica Geller : It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes. Rachel Green : Oh my God, they told us that was for the mascot! Monica Geller : Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now he's-he's called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat. Rachel Green : Oh, you go out with him. Monica Geller : Oh, really?! Rachel Green : Yeah. Just, if it's possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy? Monica Geller : I'll try. Ross Geller : So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center? Joey Tribbiani : Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I don't think any of them are gonna work out. Chandler Bing : Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails. Phoebe Buffay : Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive. Ross Geller : So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that there's y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think she's worried that y'know, she's gonna, she's gonna be replaced. Well, that's not gonna happen is it? Noo. Okay, I have to return a call in the other room. Monica Geller : Why can't you use the phone in here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. Ross Geller : So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebe's mom remind anyone of a cat? Monica Geller : Ross, don't start. Ross Geller : Come on, you-you can't tell me you actually believe that-that there's a woman inside that cat! Rachel Green : I believe it. Ross Geller : No you don't. Rachel Green : Yes, I do. Ross Geller : No you do-y'know what, you're not gonna suck me into this. Rachel Green : Oh sure I am, because you always have to be right. Ross Geller : I do not always have to be-okay, okay. Rachel Green : Jurassic Park could happen. Tony : Wow! That's ah, that's pretty nice! Joey Tribbiani : Pretty nice? Chandler Bing : You'll have to pardon my roommate, he wanted to marry this. Tony : We don't have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it? We've got a canoe. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I, I really don't think we need a canoe. Tony : You gotta take the canoe! Chandler Bing : All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you get home, throw the canoe away! Peter : We're not throwing it away! I built that canoe! Joey Tribbiani : Good for you!! Rachel Green : You guys, you're never gonna believe what I just found tacked up on a telephone pole! Look kinda familiar? Ross Geller : Apparently Phoebe's mother also goes by the name Julio. Rachel Green : You guys, there's a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!! Rachel Green : Do we have to tell her? Ross Geller : Yes, we have to tell her! Monica Geller : Oh, but it's made her so happy. Ross Geller : Little girl misses her cat. Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her. #ALL# : Yeah. Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : I hate when Ross is right! Monica Geller : He is right, isn't he? Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times he's wrong. #ALL# : You think? Chandler Bing : Oh-no, he's right. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs, about your mom... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : How's that going? Phoebe Buffay : So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred. Joey Tribbiani : That's so sweet. I'm gonna get some coffee. Monica Geller : Huh? What'd ya say Joe? I'll be right there. Rachel Green : Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : I just feel so, uhh..... Rachel Green : All right!! Chandler Bing : I'm coming already!! Rachel Green : Jeez! Monica Geller : Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Rachel Green : Hello, Chip. Chip Matthews : Hey, Rach! How ya doin'? Rachel Green : I'm great! I'm great. I've got a great job at Bloomingdale's, have wonderful friends, and eventhough I'm not seeing anyone right now, I've never felt better about myself. Chip Matthews : So ah, Monica ready yet? Rachel Green : She'll be out in a second. So, Chip, how's umm, Amy Welch? Chip Matthews : Amy Welch? Wow! I haven't seen her since... So, Monica about ready? Joey Tribbiani : This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man. Guy : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldn't, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny 'til I started feeling like I was in a coffin. Guy : No, you, you can't fit in that thing. That's not deep enough. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? If I can't, I'll knock five bucks off the price off the unit. Guy : All right, you have yourself a deal. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. See?! I told ya! Joey Tribbiani : Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!! Chip Matthews : Here, we are. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You still have the Chipper! Chip Matthews : The what? Monica Geller : That's what we used to call your ah, your motorcycle in high school. Y'know how a motorcycle is a Chopper, and you're Chip. Nevermind. Chip Matthews : No, I think it's cute. Monica Geller : Wow! A lipper from Chipper. Chip Matthews : So you still in touch with anyone from high school? Monica Geller : Umm. Well, there's Rachel, and umm, I think that's it. How bout you? Chip Matthews : Oh yeah, I still hang with Simmons and Zana, y'know. I see Spindler a lot. Devane, Kelly, and I run into Goldie from time to time. Steve Brown, Zuchoff, McGwire, J.T., Breadsly. Monica Geller : Is that all? Chip Matthews : Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman. Monica Geller : Ohh, how is he? Chip Matthews : Not so good, Simmons and I gave him a wedgie. Monica Geller : Isn't he an architect now? Chip Matthews : Yeah, they still wear underwear. Chandler Bing : OH MY GOD!!! Joey Tribbiani : WHAT?!! Chandler Bing : Are you all right?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Chandler Bing : What happened?!! Joey Tribbiani : Awww, man! He promised he wouldn't take the chairs!! Chandler Bing : What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didn't think big enough to fit a grown man! Chandler Bing : So-You got in voluntarily?! Joey Tribbiani : I was tryin' to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what I'm gonna do? Chandler Bing : BEND OVER?!!! Chip Matthews : ...and then Zana, just let one rip!! Monica Geller : Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, 'cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I don't even know where you work? Chip Matthews : You know where I work! Monica Geller : I do? Chip Matthews : The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time. Monica Geller : You still work at the multiplex? Chip Matthews : Oh, like I'd give up that job! Free popcorn and candy, anytime I want. I can get you free posters for your room. Monica Geller : Thanks, I'm set. Do you still live with your parents? Chip Matthews : Oh yeah, but I can stay out as late as I want. Rachel Green : Wow! They really got you guys. Your T.V. The chairs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo. Joey Tribbiani : Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is! Monica Geller : Oh my God! What happened? Chandler Bing : Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!! Rachel Green : So, how was your date? Monica Geller : Well, y'know how I always wanted to go out with Chip Matthews in high school? Rachel Green : Um-hmm. Monica Geller : Well, tonight, I actually went out with Chip Matthews in high school. Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : No, it's okay, not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews, I got to dump Chip Matthews. Rachel Green : Ohh! That's so great! Monica Geller : I know! Ross Geller : Hey! So ah, what did the insurance company say? Chandler Bing : Oh, they said uh, "You don't have insurance here, so stop calling us." Ross Geller : You didn't tell her?! Okay, fine! Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Listen uhh, this cat belongs to a little girl. There are flyers all over the place. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, sweetie. Monica Geller : Hey, we can take her back with you if you want. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right? Chandler Bing : That's a good call. Right. Ross Geller : No! No! Look-Hey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom. This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, how many parents have you lost? Ross Geller : None. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then you don't know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if I'm wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive. Ross Geller : I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : I don't know what to say. Rachel Green : You could.... say you're sorry to her mom. Phoebe Buffay : I think she would like that. Ross Geller : Come here, here, come here, come here, Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friend's mother. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. We both forgive you. Rachel Green : So honey, what are you gonna do about the little girl? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And you're welcome to come back anytime. Chandler Bing : Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, we'd really appreciate it. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, Mom, I'll take you home. Rachel Green : I'll go with you. Monica Geller : Me too. Ross Geller : Oh! Y'know, I've got an extra futon. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you don't have to brag! We got nothing here!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey!! We are so in luck! Treeger said that we could have all this cool stuff from the basement. Wait right there. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, I'm, I'm paddling away! Joey Tribbiani : Huh?! Chandler Bing : Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped! Chandler Bing : Could we be more white trash? Monica Geller : How desperate am I? Rachel Green : Oh! Good thing Chandler's not here, he always wins at this game. Monica Geller : I just told my Mom I'd cater a party for her. Phoebe Buffay : How come? Monica Geller : Because I need the money, and I thought that it'd be a great way to get rid of that last little schmidgen of self-respect. Ross Geller : Come on, I think this is a good thing. I don't think Mom would've hired you if she didn't think you were good at what you do. Monica Geller : You don't have to stick up for her. She can't here you. Rachel Green : Hey! Umm, do you guys have any juice? Joey Tribbiani : Just pickle. Chandler Bing : Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday. Rachel Green : My boss, Joanna? Wow, that must've been awkward. Chandler Bing : Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink. Rachel Green : You ah, you didn't say 'Yes' to that did you? Chandler Bing : No. No! Joanna : Hello, Rachel. Chandler Bing : Well, not at first. Rachel Green : What is she doing here? Rachel Green : I don't understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a 'big, dull dud.' Chandler Bing : Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level. Rachel Green : Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now! Chandler Bing : Oh, come on! It's not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually I'm pretty much just in there by myself. Rachel Green : Chandler!! Promise me, you will end it. Chandler Bing : Okay, I promise, I'll end it. Rachel Green : Thank you. Chandler Bing : I hope you know what I'm giving up for ya, because she's not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-eh-eah! Oh-oh, sorry, I-I knew what he meant. Judy Geller : How's the hired help? Monica Geller : Doing great, the quiches are coming along. Judy Geller : What's this? Blue nail polish? Monica Geller : Yeah, I thought it was cute. Judy Geller : Ahh, that's what your Grandmother's hands looked like when we found her. Monica Geller : Let me ask you a question. Judy Geller : Hmm. Monica Geller : Why did you hire me? Judy Geller : Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you weren't sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks I'm good. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I didn't hear that. Monica Geller : Oh yeah, she didn't hire me out of pity, it wasn't so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks I'm good. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! And hey, it's cool if you're a lesbian! The Salesman : Good afternoon, are you the decision maker of the house? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhhh. The Salesman : Do you ah, currently own a set of encyclopedias? Joey Tribbiani : No! No. But ah, try the classifieds, people sell everything in there. The Salesman : Actually, I'm not buying. I'm selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though you're not really sure what they're talking about? Ross Geller : ...I'm telling you it's totally unconstituional. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, I totally agree. Monica Geller : ...I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. #ALL# : Nooo!! Chandler Bing : ...it was like the Algonquin kids table. The Salesman : Excuse me, I'm sorry, you haven't said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-well-yeah! Yeah-oh-yeah. Come on in. Phoebe Buffay : That's weird. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Your nails. Monica Geller : Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones. I just did it so my Mom wouldn't give me grief about me biting them. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no, I meant that it's weird that you only have nine now. Monica Geller : Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put... Oh my God! It's in the quiche! Oh My God! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't panic. I'm gonna go to the store, I'm gonna get you another set of nails, no one's gonna know, and you're gonna look great. Oh! Oh, it's 'cause they're gonna eat-that's the problem. Judy Geller : Honey, don't bite your nails. Monica Geller : Okay ah, please don't freak out. Umm, but ah, there's a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and there's no way to know which one. Phoebe Buffay : And! Whoever finds it wins the prize! Judy Geller : I'm not freaking out. Monica Geller : Then why are you laughing? Judy Geller : It's nothing, it's just that now your Father owes me five dollars. Monica Geller : What? You bet I'd lose a nail? Judy Geller : Oh no, don't be silly. I just bet I'd need these. Monica Geller : Frozen lasagnas? Judy Geller : Um-hmm. Monica Geller : You bet that I'd screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was... Judy Geller : No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica. Monica Geller : You promised Dr. Weinburg, you'd never use that phrase. Judy Geller : Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, you've never been able to laugh at yourself. Monica Geller : That's right. My Mom doesn't have any faith in me! Oh, that's hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Phoebe Buffay : I don't get it. Judy Geller : No, I have faith... Monica Geller : No! You have lasagnas! Oven : Ding! Phoebe Buffay : Op, the ruined quiches are ready. Chandler Bing : It just doesn't...feel like we're breaking up. Joanna : No, we are. I'm sad. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joanna : Yes. Uh, can't you wait until tomorrow? All right. Unbelievable!! Chandler Bing : Thanks. Joanna : No, no, that was my boss. I have to go. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joanna : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : I'm getting dressed. Joanna : Why? Chandler Bing : When I walk outside naked people throw garbage at me. Joanna : Wait. I wanna show you something. Chandler Bing : What is it? Joanna : Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. Put your hands together. Chandler Bing : Ah-ha, you're not the boss of me. Yeah, you are! Ooh, saucy. Joanna : I'll be back in ten minutes. Chandler Bing : You are, you're gonna leave me like this? Joanna : Knowing you're here, waiting for me I think it's kinda exciting. Chandler Bing : Okay. But if you don't come back soon, there's pretty much nothing I can do about it! Joanna : Oh. Sophie : Hi! I brought you back a macaroon! Joanna : Oh great! I'll keep it in my butt with your nose. Rachel Green : That's weird, she locked the door. Sophie : Y'know why? She's got the Christmas bonus list in there. I saw her working on it this morning. Rachel Green : Okay, swear you won't tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joanna's office. Do you wanna see the list? Sophie : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Hi! How are you? Chandler Bing : Hello, Joanna......'s office. Joanna : I'm really sorry but I may be a little while longer. Chandler Bing : How little?! Joanna : A couple of hours, I feel awful. Chandler Bing : Look, this isn't funny! You get back here right now! Joanna : I can't!! Chandler Bing : Why not?! Joanna : I'm in my boss's car! Chandler Bing : What?! Joanna : Uh-oh, tunnel. Rachel Green : What?! Chandler Bing : Rachel, could I see you for a moment? Chandler Bing : Okay, here's the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit. Rachel Green : You promised you would break up with her! Chandler Bing : I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well! Rachel Green : And the fact that you were jeopardising my career never entered your mind?! Chandler Bing : It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out. Rachel Green : Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I can't get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and I'm cold, and Rachel Green : Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! You never see Joanna again! Chandler Bing : Never! Rachel Green : You never come into this office again! Chandler Bing : Fine! Rachel Green : You give me back my Walkman! Chandler Bing : I-never borrowed your Walkman. Rachel Green : Well, then I lost it. You buy me one! Chandler Bing : You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! Ahhh! Rachel Green : Does it hurt? Chandler Bing : No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. Hello sweet pants! Rachel Green : Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna? Chandler Bing : About what? Rachel Green : When she sees that you're gone, she's gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and I'm gonna get fired! Chandler Bing : I'll make something up! I'm good at lying, I actually did borrow your Walkman! Rachel Green : No, there's nothing to make up, she's gonna know that I have a key to her office, I've got to get you locked up back the way you were! Chandler Bing : Oh-ho-ho, I don't think so! Chandler Bing : Well, this is much better. The Salesman : So, here's somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh? Joey Tribbiani : He cut off his ear. The Salesman : And? Joey Tribbiani : I'm out. The Salesman : He painted that. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! That's pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear 'cause he sucked. What else you got in there? The Salesman : Let's see, ahhh... Where does the Pope live? Joey Tribbiani : In the woods. No wait-wait, that's the joke answer. The Salesman : Actually its, Vatican City. Now ahh, what do you know about vulcanised rubber? Joey Tribbiani : Spock's birth control. The Salesman : You need these books. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : This used to be your room? Wow! You must've been in really good shape as a kid. Monica Geller : Ohh, I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I actually thought she could change. Phoebe Buffay : Well, who cares what your Mom thinks? So you pulled a Monica. Monica Geller : Oh good, I'm glad that's catching on. Phoebe Buffay : No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and we'll call that pulling a Monica. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight A's, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that one's outta here." Though some things don't change. Monica Geller : All right, I'll go down there. But, I'm not gonna serve the lasagna. I'm gonna serve something I make. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! My breasts are really strong. Rachel Green : Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, she's very private about her office. Now I know why. Chandler Bing : Hey, look, you're in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, she's gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go. Rachel Green : What if I clean your bathroom for a month? Chandler Bing : It still wouldn't be clean. All I want is my freedom. Rachel Green : Foot rubs for a month! Chandler Bing : Freedom! Rachel Green : I'll take all of your photos and put them into photo albums! Chandler Bing : Freedom! I want my freedom! Why won't you here me?! Sophie, help me! Help me!! Rachel Green : Sophie sit!! Rachel Green : No! God, would you just calm down! Chandler Bing : I'm gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just... Joey Tribbiani : Wow! There's a lot I didn't know about vomit. In a minute. The Salesman : So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book! Joey Tribbiani : Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? I'm home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess there's a few things you don't get from book learnin'. The Salesman : Well ah, what can you swing? Joey Tribbiani : How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time? The Salesman : You don't have, anything? Joey Tribbiani : You wanna see what I got? Okay? I've got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey! The Salesman : Okay, I-I get the picture. Uh, thanks, for your time. Joey Tribbiani : And a 50. Huh, these must be Chandler's pants. The Salesman : For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I-I think I'm gonna stick with the V, I wanna see how this bad boy turns out. Rachel Green : I ah, will buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts. Chandler Bing : No! Rachel Green : I ah... Oh! I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning! Chandler Bing : With extra pulp? Rachel Green : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : No! Rachel Green : D'oh!! I've got it! Chandler Bing : You don't have it. Rachel Green : I have so got it. There's gonna be rumours about this, there's no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know. Chandler Bing : How do Monica and Phoebe know? Rachel Green : Oh, I called them. And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous or very stingy. Chandler Bing : Go on. Rachel Green : I can make you a legend. I can make you this generation's Milton Berle. Chandler Bing : And Milton Berle has a... Rachel Green : Ohh, not compared to you. Monica Geller : Well? Phoebe Buffay : They're not even touching the lasagna! Monica Geller : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, they love your casserole. Monica Geller : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : It's hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients. Judy Geller : Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish. Monica Geller : And you? Judy Geller : I thought it was... quite tasty. Monica Geller : So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you... Judy Geller : A bitch? Monica Geller : Well, I was going for wrong, but we can use your word. Judy Geller : Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today. Monica Geller : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. She doesn't know we switched it. Judy Geller : And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. Monica Geller : That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, don't bite your nails. Chandler Bing : Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hello, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I love you. Joey Tribbiani : Wh-what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : No he doesn't! Chandler Bing : Two hours, that lasted! Rachel Green : So did you break up with Joanna? Chandler Bing : I think so. Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius. Ross Geller : The volcano? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation. Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, lava spewing, hot ash, of course some are dormant. Monica Geller : Why are you talking about volcanoes all of the sudden? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The Vasdeferens? The Vietnam War? Monica Geller : Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? #ALL# : Oh, yeah. Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, Korea is such a beautiful country. Ross Geller : With such a sad history. Chandler Bing : Could there be more Kims? Joanna : Who's out there? Rachel Green : It's me! Good morning! Joanna : Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure. Umm, they didn't have poppy seed bagels, so I... Oh my word! Joanna : I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah! Yeah! Joanna : You tell your friend Chandler that we're definately broken up this time. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! New wallet, huh? Chandler Bing : Yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesn't say 'cool' anymore. Monica Geller : Rachel! Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : You just put an empty carton back in the fridge! Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I know, but the garbage was full. Monica Geller : Have you ever taken out the trash? Rachel Green : Well, I thought you liked doing it. Monica Geller : Third door on the left. Rachel Green : Right! Rachel Green : Oh! Hey, Mr. Treeger. Mr. Treeger : Hey. Mr. Treeger : What are you doing? Rachel Green : Ummm. Oh! I'm sorry. It's a little old but... Mr. Treeger : No! You're clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I didn't-I don't come in here a lot. Mr. Treeger : Oh yeah, of course you don't! Rachel Green : No. Mr. Treeger : 'Cause you're a little princess! "Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing Happy Birthday to me..." Rachel Green : I didn't... I never said that. Mr. Treeger : You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why don't think of someone else for a change? Rachel Green : Okay, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : God! If you're gonna cry about it! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, Treeger made you cry? Rachel Green : Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson. Monica Geller : Joey, please don't do that. I think it's best that we just forget about it. Rachel Green : That's easy for you to say, you weren't almost just killed. Joey Tribbiani : All right that's it, school is in session! Monica Geller : My God! Is this a gym card? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last 1200 times. Ross Geller : So why don't you quit? Chandler Bing : You don't think I've tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria. Ross Geller : Who is Maria? Chandler Bing : Oh Maria. You can't say no to her, she's like this lycra spandex covered gym...treat. Ross Geller : You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand? Chandler Bing : No! Ross Geller : So you're strong enough to face her on your own? Chandler Bing : Oh no, you'll have to come. Mr. Treeger : Tribbiani! Hold on, I'll get the plunger. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, you're gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord. Mr. Treeger : And tell him what? Joey Tribbiani : Have you heard about a little something called, Not Making Girls Cry. Mr. Treeger : Yeah. Well maybe you have heard about the Rent Stabilization Act of 1968! Joey Tribbiani : I have actually not heard of that. Mr. Treeger : Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. I've been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I don't need this grief. I'm gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmother's apartment. Your friends are outta here pal. Joey Tribbiani : Why don't you tell me something I don't know! Phoebe Buffay : Oh please, somebody tell me I don't have to go to work today! Monica Geller : What's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that I'm not allowed to charge for. Monica Geller : So do them for free. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And it's against my oath as a masseuse. Ross Geller : They make you take an oath? Phoebe Buffay : No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that one's actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense. Chandler Bing : Why don't you just give him to somebody else? Phoebe Buffay : No, I can handle it. No, I'm a professional. Rachel Green : Oh Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet? Monica Geller : Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up. Chandler Bing : Because that's the only part of you he can see when he's on the table! Monica Geller : You're gonna do some feet flirtin'! Phoebe Buffay : I don't what your talking about. Ross Geller : Then how do you explain the toe ring?! Phoebe Buffay : Because it's Arabian princess day at work! Okay?! Leave me alone! Rachel Green : Oh! My hero! What happened? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that he'd better come up here and apologize. I'll see you later. Monica Geller : What a minute, what did he say? Joey Tribbiani : He said that he wasn't gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what he's gonna do is have you evicted-I'll see you later. Rachel Green : What?! You got us evicted!! Monica Geller : I told you not to go down there! Joey Tribbiani : Well he made Rachel cry! Monica Geller : Rachel always cries! Rachel Green : That's not true! Monica Geller : Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like you've never sucked before! Joey Tribbiani : All right! I'll try! But if I can't, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled. Rachel Green : Go!! Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right, all right. I mean I'll have to check with him first, but I'll think he'll be cool with it. Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey! Now remember what we talked about, you gotta be strong. Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes! Ross Geller : One more time, "Hey, don't you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?" Chandler Bing : No! I want a flabby gut and saggy man breasts! Ross Geller : Good! That's good! Chandler Bing : Okay. I wanna quit the gym. Gym Employee : You wanna quit? Chandler Bing : I wanna quit the gym. Gym Employee : You do realize that you won't have access to our new full service Swedish spa. Chandler Bing : I wanna quit the gym. Gym Employee : Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. Uh, excuse me, are you a member? Ross Geller : Me? No. Gym Employee : Sorry, members only. Chandler Bing : I wanna quit the gym. Ross Geller : It's okay man, be strong. Gym Employee : So, are you a member of any gym. Ross Geller : No! And I'm not gonna be, so you can save you little speech. Gym Employee : Okay, no problem. Could you come here for a second? Woman : Hi, I'm Maria. Rick Sanoven : Wow, you have really pretty feet. Phoebe Buffay : These old things. Rick Sanoven : Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, it's been killing me today. Phoebe Buffay : You mean the-Okay by siadic, you mean the towel covered portion. Rick Sanoven : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get y'know, real nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area. Rick Sanoven : Oh, a 16-hour sit-in for Greenpeace. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Rick Sanoven : Ow! Did you just bite me? Phoebe Buffay : No! Mr. Treeger : What? Joey Tribbiani : Please don't kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasn't there fault, it was mine. Mr. Treeger : You want me to kick you guys out instead? Joey Tribbiani : No you can't do that, where would the chick and the duck live? Mr. Treeger : You have pets! Joey Tribbiani : Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. I'm the chick and Chandler is the duck. Mr. Treeger : Huh, I would've thought it was the other way around. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, just-just let the girls stay, I'll do whatever you want. Mr. Treeger : Really? You'll do anything? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, absolutely. Mr. Treeger : Yeah, I've got something you can do. Joey Tribbiani : What, what is it? Mr. Treeger : Can you be my dancing partner? Joey Tribbiani : That's not, prison lingo, is it? Monica Geller : His dancing partner?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, there's this superintendent's dance, the Super Ball. I don't know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that he's a crush on. Rachel Green : Well, why doesn't he practice with a girl? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he's too shy, he doesn't thing he's good enough to dance with girls yet. Rachel Green : Yeah, right, he almost danced me right down that...garbage chute. Monica Geller : Oh, would you let it go already?! You're fine! Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey! So, did you quit? Chandler Bing : No, I almost did, couldn't leave Ross there without a spotter! Monica Geller : Wait, now so you joined the gym? Ross Geller : And that's funny, why? Rachel Green : Oh, umm, I was just y'know working out and umm... Oh, that's it. Chandler Bing : We're doomed. Okay, they're gonna take 50 bucks out of our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do? Monica Geller : Well, you could actually go to the gym. Ross Geller : Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source. Chandler Bing : You're a genius! Joey Tribbiani : Aww, man, now we won't be bank buddies! Chandler Bing : Now, there's two reasons. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, you guys, remember that cute client I told you about? I bit him. Rachel Green : Where?! Phoebe Buffay : On the touchy. Ross Geller : And that's not against your oath?! Phoebe Buffay : No, I know! I-I'm sorry, but the moment I touch him, I just wanna throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one. Monica Geller : Well, next time your massaging him, you should try and distract yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Like-like when I'm doing something exciting and I don't wanna get too excited, I just ahh, y'know try to thing of other things like ah sandwiches, and ah baseball, and ah Chandler! Chandler Bing : Thank you, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, thank you. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm here, let's ahh, get this over with. Mr. Treeger : Okay ahh, well, just ahh, follow my lead. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, don't we need to do some kinda preparation first? Like ahh, get really drunk? Mr. Treeger : Look come on, eh, just ah, just ah, put your arms around me, eh. Mr. Treeger : Ahhhh! I'm sorry! Joey Tribbiani : No, it's okay, but if I'm Marge, my breasts are coming out my back. Mr. Treeger : Ahh, forget it! I'll never be any good at this, my mom was right, I'm just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, you're not a potato. Mr. Treeger : I'm sure as hell a dancer, it's no use Marge will never go for me. Joey Tribbiani : Come on Treeger, don't say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, let's ahh, let's try it again. Come on. Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, y'know, I'm not really that comfortable dancing with a- We-he!! Hey! Mr. Treeger : Yeah! Monica Geller : Hey-hey, how goes the dancing? Gay yet? Joey Tribbiani : Ah-ha-ha, you guys owe me big time. Rachel Green : What was that? Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : You just did a little dancy thing. Joey Tribbiani : No I didn't. Monica Geller : Yes you did! You did like a little hop. Rachel Green : You are soo enjoying this. Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm not! And it wasn't a hop it was a pademarie. Monica Geller : You know the words! You are so into this! Joey Tribbiani : All right, well maybe I'm enjoying it a little bit. I mean I'm getting pretty good at it. Rachel Green : Ooh, this is soo sweet, Joey our little twinkle-toes. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, hold on, this isn't some kind of like girly dance. All right, it's like a sport, it's manly! Monica Geller : All right, then show me some manly moves. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know how to lead. Ross Geller : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hi. Ross Geller : We'd like to close our accounts. Bank Officer : Close your accounts? Is there some kind of problem? Ross Geller : No-no. Chandler Bing : No, we'd just like to close them. Bank Officer : Okay, Ms. Lambert handles all our closures. Would you come over here please? Ms. Lambert : Hi, I'm Karen. Chandler Bing : I wanna quit the bank! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay, slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little... Oh no-wait no, no! No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Rick's pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, that's working. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler's knees. Chandler's... ankles. Chandler's ankle hair. Oh no. Okay, you're all set. Rick Sanoven : Oh wow! That was amazing, was that really just an hour?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! In... really long hour world. Rick Sanoven : What? Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because you're a client, I can't ask you out, even though you give me y'know, the feeling. Rick Sanoven : Wow! I had no idea! But you know, I could always find another masseuse. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Rick Sanoven : Yeah, really. Phoebe Buffay : What? Rick Sanoven : Suddenly, I very aware that I'm naked. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, quit down. Mrs. Potter : Mr. Simon's been waiting for- Oh my God! Mr. Simon : Why wasn't I offered that? I'd definitely pay more for that. Mrs. Potter : Phoebe, we have rules here, this isn't that kind of place. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isn't what it looks like, 'cause Rick is my ahh, husband. Mrs. Potter : Oh really? Well, then you'd better tell his other wife, 'cause she called three times asking where he is. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I will tell her. Monica Geller : So you didn't leave the bank? Ross Geller : No! And somehow, we ended up with a joint checking account. Rachel Green : What are you ever gonna use that for?! Chandler Bing : To pay for the gym. Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : You got fired?! Monica Geller : Oh my Gosh! Phoebe Buffay : It's so weird, I have never been fired from anything before! Rachel Green : Sweety... Phoebe Buffay : I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, y'know? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. It's been a really bad day, whore wise. Mr. Treeger : Hey Duck, is Chick here? Chandler Bing : Yeah... Bunny-rabbit. Joey Tribbiani : So you ah, ready for our last practice? Mr. Treeger : Yeah, but y'know, I think the reason we're not getting that spin right is because my apartment's too small. Joey Tribbiani : Look, you wanna use our place? Mr. Treeger : No, I ahh, had another idea. Joey Tribbiani : We did it!! Mr. Treeger : I know, we did it!! Hey, that was incredible, huh?! Joey Tribbiani : I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful. Mr. Treeger : Thank you, listen, thanks a lot Tribbiani, . Oh my God, look at the time, I gotta catch the bus to the ball. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, okay, good luck. Mr. Treeger : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Unless you wanna practice the Foxtrot again? Or-or the Tango? Mr. Treeger : Ahh, thanks but no. You see I-I think I'm ready to dance with girls. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Mr. Treeger : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Go get 'em Treeger. Mr. Treeger : Right. Hey, ahh, you wanna come? Marge has a girlfriend. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Mr. Treeger : Yeah, you could dance real good with her, she's the same size as me. Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm good. Interviewer : So it looks like you've got some great experience here. Let's see ahh, reason for leaving last job? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, they thought I was a whore. Interviewer : Okay, we'll give a call if anything comes up. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Thank you very much. Ross Geller : Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but... Whoa! Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Gunther : When's your birthday? Rachel Green : May fifth, why? Gunther : Oh, I-I'm just making a list of people's birthdays. Ross Geller : Oh, mine's December... Gunther : Yeah, whatever. Chandler Bing : Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty. Monica Geller : Just go up to her and ask her out. Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen? Chandler Bing : I could die. Ross Geller : Yeah, it's-it's tough being single. That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda. Rachel Green : Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her. Chandler Bing : I tell people secrets. It makes them like me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there. Phoebe Buffay : But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. Pretty, huh? Chandler Bing : All right, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna get shot down. Any advice? Monica Geller : Just be yourself. But, not too much. Chandler Bing : Wish me luck. Ross Geller : Good luck! Chandler Bing : Wish it! Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that? Kathy : No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Kathy. Chandler Bing : Uh Kathy, with K or a C? Kathy : With a K. Chandler Bing : Oh-oh-hey! Kathy : Wow! You are really good at this. Chandler Bing : Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here. Kathy : I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. Oh, and there he is now. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I see you guys already met, huh? Chandler Bing : Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth. Joey Tribbiani : Didn't I tell ya? Always showin' off. Phoebe Buffay : Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? This chick sounds good. Smelly cat, smelly-- Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey. Chandler Bing : Hi! Kathy : Hi. Chandler Bing : Jeez, at 2:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to have to fight over the remote. Kathy : I'm sorry, it's just this Ernie Cofax thing on in a few minutes I wanted to watch. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! That's why I got up too! Kathy : You're kidding! Oh, I love him. Chandler Bing : Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've known you guys were... I never would've... Kathy : Oh please! Chandler Bing : So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class. Kathy : Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do; all of them had us making out. Chandler Bing : That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him. Kathy : Oh-oh-oh-oh! Chandler Bing : Is it on? Kathy : No, but this wonder broom is amazing! Chandler Bing : Hey! Kathy : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Oh! It's on! It's on! Chandler Bing : There we go little fella. Kathy : What about the duck? Chandler Bing : Well the duck can swim. Kathy : Oh, jeez. Phoebe Buffay : My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey. #ALL# : Way to go, Phoebe! Monica Geller : That cold makes you sound so great. Phoebe Buffay : It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Kath, we should get going. We're going to by hamsters. #ALL# : Ooh, that's great, I love those little guys. Kathy : No, no, it's not like that. I, I work for a medical researcher. Rachel Green : Well, have fun! Kathy : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters. Monica Geller : Y'know what, I like Kathy. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty. Rachel Green : Yeah, she's... Chandler Bing : She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what? Rachel Green : You love her. Chandler Bing : No, I don't. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy. Ross Geller : Come on, Pheebs lay off him. Chandler Bing : Thank you, Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love. Chandler Bing : All right. #ALL# : Ohh! Chandler Bing : All right. Monica Geller : Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! Phoebe Buffay : So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me. Monica Geller : Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I could write about the time my hair did that "Woo-hoo" thing. Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ross Geller : So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight! Monica Geller : Rachel's not here. Ross Geller : Oh. Monica Geller : How's it going with her? Ross Geller : Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves. Rachel Green : Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross. Monica Geller : Hi, Josh. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Joshua Burgin : Dudes. Monica Geller : So, did you play in college? sweatshirt he's wearing.) Joshua Burgin : Oh, I still do. Next year, I hope to make varsity though. Rachel Green : Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64. Joshua Burgin : Well, it's getting late, I've got to get to the game, so I'm gonna... head. Rachel Green : Okay. I'll miss you. Joshua Burgin : Dope! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, cute one! Monica Geller : Very! Rachel Green : I know, isn't he great? It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, y'know? There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot in a museum. Ross Geller : Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something. Rachel Green : Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom? Ross Geller : Oh! Rachel Green : What was that? Ross Geller : Monica knows. Monica Geller : It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother. Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna go get ready, for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I should go to, `cause I'm playing in one hour. Hey, you guys should come hear me, ooh hear me. Ooh, My sticky shoes--eww! Eww! I lost my sexy phlegm! Amanda (Ross' date) : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Amanda (Ross' date) : Hi Ben! Ross Geller : Wow! You-you look great! Amanda (Ross' date) : Thanks! Ross Geller : Okay! Hey Tommy. Amanda (Ross' date) : I am so glad that you could come over tonight. Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no, it's my pleasure. Amanda (Ross' date) : Okay, well, my cell phone number is right here on the counter, please help yourself to anything in the fridge. Ross Geller : What? Amanda (Ross' date) : I appreciate this soo much, I've been trying to go out with this guy for like a month. Ross Geller : I-I-I... Amanda (Ross' date) : Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. Ross Geller : Who wants to make some long distance calls? Chandler Bing : Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! Fetch! Fetch it! Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! Kathy. Kathy : Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here? Chandler Bing : Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!" Kathy : Hey! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was. Ross Geller : Her date tipped me ten dollars. Ross Geller : Pheebs, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia. Chandler Bing : Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Well, how-how-how is that possible? You barely know her! Chandler Bing : I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler! Monica Geller : Oh gosh, Phoebe, I think I caught your cold. Phoebe Buffay : You mean you stole it! Don't cover your mouth when you do that! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Kathy : We were just talking about you. Chandler Bing : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet. Chandler Bing : Right in there! Chandler Bing : 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! All right, let's go over the concept one more time. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys. Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight? Chandler Bing : Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate. Joey Tribbiani : It's 4:30. Chandler Bing : Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I see what's going on here. Chandler Bing : You-you do? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You don't like Kathy. Chandler Bing : You got me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Right. Joey Tribbiani : Good, and hey! My treat. But that's only because you're not eating anything, right? Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Ross isn't here. Rachel Green : Oh. Stop it! Joshua Burgin : So I'll see you at the party? Beer's beer man, 24, 7!! Rachel Green : Yeah! I am soo gonna marry that guy. Ohhh! Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : I think he's stealing from me. Monica Geller : Why? Rachel Green : Because he's stealing from me! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! It's me. And soup. Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket. Rachel Green : Ughh! Phoebe Buffay : Here, now I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup. And there's no chicken in the broth either, so it's really just... noodle water. Monica Geller : Thank you so much Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Monica Geller : What are you doing with those?! Phoebe Buffay : But, I need your germs! I want my cold back! I miss my sexy voice. Monica Geller : Sorry, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : It's okay. How's the soup? Monica Geller : Umm. Monica Geller : Ohhhh!! Gross!! Kathy : Ohh, God, guys, check it out, you can see that girl's underwear! Joey Tribbiani : Is she great or what? Kathy : So? Huh? What do you think? Chandler Bing : Ohh, she's-she's not really my type. Kathy : Not your type?! She's gorgeous! Chandler Bing : Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings. Kathy : Okay. Understanding a little more why you're single. Ohh! Y'know, I have a friend you would like, she's really pretty. And then we could double date! Chandler Bing : Uhh, no-no thanks. Kathy : Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too. Chandler Bing : Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. Joey Tribbiani : I'll be right back. What was that? Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal. Chandler Bing : Hey, look, what do you want from me? Joey Tribbiani : I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend. Chandler Bing : I am pretending. Joey Tribbiani : Well then, do it better! Chandler Bing : Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, that's pretty good. But you might wanna tone it down a little. Ross Geller : Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight? Monica Geller : No, sorry. Rachel Green : Well where's Amanda? Monica Geller : Hey Rach, could you get me some cough drops? Rachel Green : I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out. Monica Geller : Ross, cough drops, please? Ross Geller : At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies. Rachel Green : Why don't you just marry her? Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry I forgot, she's not a lesbian. Ross Geller : You see Amanda and I have a very special... Monica Geller : You have nothing! You're not even going out! You're her baby sitter! You have a 12-year-old girl's job! Rachel Green : Ohh, that is soo sad. Monica Geller : And what are you laughing at, Miss `My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!' Rachel Green : Hey, so he stole a couple bucks from me! At least he bought me something with it! Monica Geller : That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops! Ross Geller : Fine. Rachel Green : Sorry. Ross Geller : Here. At least I made ten bucks in my relationship. Rachel Green : Y'know... Phoebe Buffay : Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street. Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats. Does it even work without my sexy voice? Gunther : I like it. Phoebe Buffay : Gunther, kiss me. Gunther : What? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind? Chandler Bing : Can I sleep on your couch? Phoebe Buffay : And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies. Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Gunther : I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_ Rachel Green : No! Gunther : Well, we kissed. I-I-I didn't initiate the kiss, but-but I also didn't stop it, and I've been feeling guilty. Rachel Green : Okay. Gunther : So umm, are we cool? Rachel Green : Okay. Gunther : I knew you'd understand. Cheryl : So, thank you for the delicious dinner. Ross Geller : You're welcome for a delicious dinner. Phoebe Buffay : Hey what are you guys looking at? Chandler Bing : Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, come to papa. Ross Geller : I know! Monica Geller : Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her? Chandler Bing : Where did you, when did you, how did you... How did you get a girl like that? Rachel Green : Yeah, so what is she, like a... like a spokesmodel, or an aerobics instructor, what? Ross Geller : Actually she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the centazoic era. Chandler Bing : Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era. Ross Geller : I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow. Rachel Green : Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek. Ross Geller : Fine by me; hope she wins. Chandler Bing : Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper? Phoebe Buffay : Oo! Is it for my birthday present? Chandler Bing : Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet? Chandler Bing : Well, I have a call in about that. Phoebe Buffay : 'Kay. Chandler Bing : Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book. Rachel Green : Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real! Chandler Bing : Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils. Rachel Green : Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that? Chandler Bing : Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren. Rachel Green : Oh, honey, that's so sweet. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!" Chandler Bing : It doesn't say that. Does it? Ross Geller : How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange? Chandler Bing : Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great. Phoebe Buffay : It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow! Monica Geller : Yeah, once again, I am sorry. Thank you. Bye. I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for sixty people. Rachel Green : Oh my God! What happened? Monica Geller : Sixty guests. Ross Geller : So, uh, why did you have to turn it down? Monica Geller : Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not? Monica Geller : I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : There you go, that's the spirit! Okay! Now, if you need money, I will lend you money, but just get moving! Monica Geller : Really? Cause I'd need like $500 for all the food and the supplies and stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months. Monica Geller : Well, you're not working either. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, but I'm doing this. Monica Geller : Yeah, that'd be great! Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! #ALL# : Hey. Kathy : Can I borrow the keys to your apartment? Joey Tribbiani : Why? Joey Tribbiani : You can pee here! Kathy : Ahahaha... haha.. yes I can, of course. Excuse me. Chandler Bing : It's okay, the duck's using our bathroom anyway. Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday? Joey Tribbiani : We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something? #ALL# : Yeah! Rachel Green : Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I know... Rachel Green : And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love." Phoebe Buffay : Ooo, a crossword! Can I help? Rachel Green : No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language. Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, how'd it go? Monica Geller : Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrow-the dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident! Phoebe Buffay : Mon! I'm so happy for you! Monica Geller : Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order! Phoebe Buffay : I'll have one, please. Plus my money. Monica Geller : Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But look-I've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Okay. Oo, sorry I acted like a bank. Monica Geller : Okay. Ross Geller : Huh... Cheryl : Um, would you like to come in? Ross Geller : Did homo-erectus hunt with wooden tools? Cheryl : According to recent findings! Cheryl : Here Mitzi! Here Mitzi! Ross Geller : Mitzi is..... Cheryl : My hamster. I hope she's okay, I haven't seen her in a while. Have a seat. Ross Geller : Uh... Oh hey, do you, uh ...do you have any, um, Cinnamon Fruit Toasties? Cheryl : What? Ross Geller : Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh... Cheryl : I'd rather not. Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, why not? Cheryl : Okay, um, don't take this the wrong way, but your place kinda has a weird smell. Monica Geller : Oh, is everything in the car? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Did you settle the bill? Monica Geller : No. I hate this part. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look what we almost left. Monica Geller : No, that's not mine. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, all right. Oh! Look what we almost took! Monica Geller : Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen. Mrs. Burkart : Oh, good. Thank you. Monica Geller : Um, and, well there's the.. the the small matter of... Mrs. Burkart : Dear? Monica Geller : Just the matter of ...payment? Mrs. Burkart : Jack used to handle the finances! Rachel Green : You know what we should all do? Go see a musical. Chandler Bing : Sure... Rachel Green : And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one? Chandler Bing : I don't know... um, Grease? Rachel Green : No.... Chandler Bing : Rent? Rachel Green : Yes! Rent! Chandler Bing : Okay, so when do you want to go? Rachel Green : What? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I'm busy. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls. Chandler Bing : Yes, it is, at Office Max. Rachel Green : What did you get her? Chandler Bing : A pen. Joey Tribbiani : It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh? Chandler Bing : Huh-huh! You can't give her that. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah! Rachel Green : Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives? Joey Tribbiani : Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!" Chandler Bing : All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday? Joey Tribbiani : She didn't have a birthday while we were going out. Chandler Bing : For three years? Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I... Chandler Bing : All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay? Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card? Chandler Bing : Would you like me to write her a little poem as well? Joey Tribbiani : Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it. Phoebe Buffay : But Mon, you have to get our money! Monica Geller : Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant. Phoebe Buffay : I know, it's tough. You know what the first thing I did after my mother's funeral was? Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!" Monica Geller : Okay. So what do you.... you think she's faking? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill. Monica Geller : Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me. Mrs. Burkart : You're a grand ol' flag, you're a high-flying flag, and forever in peace may you wave.... Phoebe Buffay : She seems fine now. Mrs. Burkart : ...emblem of the land I love. The home of.... Joey Tribbiani : So, you just left? Her place was really that bad? Ross Geller : You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! Here. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened? Ross Geller : What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there. Joey Tribbiani : All right, so... next time, you take her to your place. Ross Geller : No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell. Joey Tribbiani : What kind of smell? Ross Geller : I don't know. Soap? Joey Tribbiani : All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You wanna see her again, right? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : So you're gonna have to do it in the mess! Ross Geller : Yeah, okay you're right. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : I mean, uh, who... who cares about a little sloppiness? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : It's, uh... it's endearing, really. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! Oink! Chandler Bing : Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit. Rachel Green : Any luck? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." Can you give me a hand with all this stuff? Rachel Green : All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen. Chandler Bing : She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her. Rachel Green : Aw, honey, that's so sweet. Chandler Bing : Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic? Rachel Green : Oh! Pathetic! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you! Chandler Bing : Where? Joey Tribbiani : Our place, the hall! I... Chandler Bing : I got something for her. It's a book! Joey Tribbiani : A book? Is it like a book that's also a safe? Chandler Bing : No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay? Joey Tribbiani : You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there? Chandler Bing : No, it came out to an even twenty. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. That's almost as much as a new book. Mrs. Burkart : Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those peepers? Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those eyes? Phoebe Buffay : You didn't get the money, did you? Monica Geller : Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go! Phoebe Buffay : No! Hey, we're not leaving until we get paid! I don't know who she thinks she is! Enough is enough! Hey, widow? Mrs. Burkart : Come on along and listen to... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Widow! Mrs. Burkart : ...the lullabye of... Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me. Excuse me! Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go. Mrs. Burkart : All right. I'll get my bag. Phoebe Buffay : Good. Monica Geller : I'm gonna leave some cards here. Please think of us for you next event. Cheryl : So you want to come inside? Ross Geller : Yes. Yes I do. Cheryl : I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. Cheryl : Guess who? Ross Geller : Department of Sanitation? Cheryl : It's me! Ross Geller : Oh! Ah. Aw! Cheryl : What? Ross Geller : Ah, Cheryl! Cheryl : Oh, Ross! Cheryl : Wait! No! No! It's my hamster! It's Mitzi! Ross Geller : Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Cheryl. I must have freaked out. Cheryl : Oh, thank god, it's not Mitzi. It's just a rat. Rachel Green : I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug! Gunther : Move! Rachel Green : Hey! Hey, you guys, I finished the crossword all by myself! Hug me! Phoebe Buffay : Uh... yay! Rachel Green : Thanks! Monica Geller : Oh, that's great! Congratulations! Rachel Green : Thank you! Hey, how'd the catering go? Monica Geller : Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I'm a hard ass. Monica Geller : And I'm a wuss. And we should be partners. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Hard Ass and Wuss. We could fight crime! Monica Geller : Wait a minute, Phoebe! We should be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Monica Geller : I can cook and you can take care of the money. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties! Both : Aah! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? That's great! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen, I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad taking credit for this, because man, am I gonna get a lot of credit for this! Chandler Bing : Aahhuuhhh.... Kathy : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Happy birthday. Kathy : Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : You know, uh... Chandler got you a gift, too. Chandler Bing : No he didn't. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he did, look... look, it's right there on the counter! Ha-ho-ho! Chandler Bing : Happy birthday! I'm sorry. Kathy : You really didn't have to. Wow. Chandler Bing : See, you think it's just a pen, but then you turn it over and it's also a clock. Kathy : Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. . Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah... yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Hm. Wanna go to bed? Kathy : I'll be in in a minute. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. . Chandler Bing : Goodnight. Kathy : Um, thank you for the gift. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time. Kathy : No, I... I didn't mean the pen. Thank you for the book. Chandler Bing : Uh, the book? Kathy : The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it. Chandler Bing : What do you mean? Kathy : Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find. Chandler Bing : Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell." Kathy : You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, he's my... he's my best friend. Kathy : Well.... Chandler Bing : Goodnight. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that coupon expires, you know. Monica Geller : Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister. Cheryl : Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, that's too bad that didn't work out. Monica Geller : Yeah. Anyway, he told me about your apartment. And, um, I couldn't sleep, thinking about it. So, uh, would it be okay if I cleaned it? Monica Geller : No? Chandler Bing : I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture! Ross Geller : Y'know if we ever go to war and you're captured, you're in for a big surprise. Chandler Bing : It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean it's bad enough that I'm in love with my roommates girlfriend-which by the way, I think she knows. Because every time we're in the room together there's this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when I've seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, she's smooth! Smooth! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Could everyone totally see up his robe? #ALL# : Yeah! Oh my God! Casey : Here you go. Joey Tribbiani : Great! All right, so I'll call you later. Casey : Great! Chandler Bing : Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that? Joey Tribbiani : That would be Casey. We're going out tonight. Chandler Bing : Goin' out, huh? Wow! Wow! So things didn't work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer. Joey Tribbiani : No, things are fine with Kathy. I'm having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! Chandler Bing : Wait! You're going out with Kathy! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Why are you getting so upset? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm upset-for you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. Joey Tribbiani : What is the big deal? It's not like we're exclusive. Chandler Bing : Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that she's-she's smart, and funny, and gets you. Joey Tribbiani : You got all that from the back of her head? Chandler Bing : All right look, I think it's time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane. Joey Tribbiani : Who's Elaine? Phoebe Buffay : "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease..." Darn it! Now, I don't know who to get to the next verse. Ross Geller : Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease... BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, ooh, I like that! Yeah. Wait! How do you know about 'bah-bah-bha-bhan?' Ross Geller : Well umm, y'know, I used to play. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, that's right, the keyboards, huh? Ross Geller : Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean that's-that's when I really found my sound. Monica Geller : Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, "The Sound." Phoebe Buffay : I wanna hear "The Sound." Ross Geller : Really? No. I mean, nah, I haven't played in so long, and-and, well it's-it's really personal stuff, y'know? Phoebe Buffay : Come on, play that funky music white boy. Monica Geller : Yeah! Ross Geller : No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up in-No, yeah, okay. Ross Geller : Okay, guys. Chandler Bing : All right! Bring it on, you... Ross Geller : Here we go. Y'know, I've-I've never played my stuff for anyone before, so it's important that-that you understand it's about communicating very private emotions. Y'know, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. That's what I'm... Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Play! Monica Geller : Boy, that was-that was, umm... terrific. Chandler Bing : Really, bitchin'! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, it was so-wow! Ross Geller : Really?! I mean, really?!! Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean, you should play in public! Ross Geller : Wow! Thanks, you guys. That's uh-ohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. I'll be right back! Okay? This is so nice, I'm-I am so... Monica Geller : Oh God bless my dad sound proofing the basement! Rachel Green : Oh, I can't believe I ever let him touch me with those fingers. Phoebe Buffay : What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus it's just, it's so different from the stuff you usually hear. Chandler Bing : You mean like, music? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know what you're thinkin'! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy. Chandler Bing : Come in! Kathy : Hey! Oh God, is that Baywatch? Chandler Bing : Uh yes, but uh, I just watch it for the articles. Kathy : So is Joey around? Chandler Bing : No-no, he's not back yet, but he'll be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern? Kathy : I uh, don't really have a preference. You? Chandler Bing : I like it in the stern. ...of the boat. Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble. Chandler Bing : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that I'll be there as soon as I can. Chandler Bing : Why can't you tell her? Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to- Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Chandler Bing : I thought your time ran out. Joey Tribbiani : Me too, but I guess I do have a couple of more- Chandler Bing : Uhh, that was Joey. He's running a little late, he says he's sorry. Kathy : Oh. Chandler Bing : So I guess it's just uh, you and me then. Kathy : Oh, okay. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think it is! Kathy : So what did you do today? Chandler Bing : Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut... Kathy : Oh, it looks great! Chandler Bing : ...and then it got canceled. Kathy : Well, I could cut it. Chandler Bing : Really?! You do that? Kathy : Yeah, I do. Of course, I learned at my aunt's dog grooming shop, but hey, what do you say? Chandler Bing : Dog grooming huh? Okay, just don't make my tail too poofy. Kathy : You have really great hair. Chandler Bing : Well, thanks. I grow it myself. Y'know who also has great hair is Joey! Kathy : Yes! Yeah! Joey has great hair! Umm, I'm basically done here. Just let me get this off your neck. Chandler Bing : What-what 'cha doin'? Kathy : Checking to see if it's even. Chandler Bing : 'Kay. Kathy : Looks good. Chandler Bing : Oh the phone! The phone's making sounds! Hello! Joey Tribbiani : Hey dude, it's me. Chandler Bing : Hey it's Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Listen uh, I'm really sorry, it looks like I'm gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasn't there! Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it must've fallen out a few blocks back. I just figured we hit a dog. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Listen uh, could you put Kathy on, I wanna apologize. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah man. Joey. Kathy : Hey. Oh no it's fine, don't worry about it. Yeah-no, stop apologizing, it's okay. Yeah! I'll talk to you tomorrow. I should uh, probably go. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Yes! Yeah. Kathy : I forgot my purse. Chandler Bing : Oh. Kathy : No, I really did forget my purse. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, this is bad! It's bad! This is bad! Kathy : Horrible! Chandler Bing : Wait the uh, the kiss or the situation? Kathy : No-no-no, the kiss was good. Chandler Bing : Okay! Kathy : No, but that's bad! Chandler Bing : Ooh! Yes! Okay! Here's what we do, we-we forget it happened. Kathy : What?! Chandler Bing : Okay, we-we swallow our feelings. Even if it means we're unhappy forever. Sound good? Kathy : Can you really do that? Chandler Bing : I have to; he's my best friend, and you're seeing him. Kathy : Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you... Chandler Bing : Oh-no-no-no! Don't! Don't! See-see, you're getting me confused, I'm starting to urn. Kathy : I'm sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try. Chandler Bing : I-I think we have too. Kathy : Okay. Bye. Chandler Bing : Bye. Are you still out there? Kathy : No. Ross Geller : Electrifying. Emphatic time-time-time... Monica Geller : Y'know, there's a Starbucks about three blocks down. Phoebe Buffay : It's so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go! Ross Geller : Thank you guys-guys-guys... Monica Geller : Hey, aren't you up next? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I'm not playing tonight. Rachel Green : Why not? Phoebe Buffay : I can't follow Ross! It'd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No. Monica Geller : Phoebe, Ross sucks! Rachel Green : Phoebe, the place has emptied because of him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, he's not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time! Monica Geller : Okay. Umm, Phoebe, you suck too. Rachel Green : Yeah, Phoebe you're... awful! Phoebe Buffay : You guys. You suck too. Joey Tribbiani : Aww man! I can't believe I locked myself out again! Chandler Bing : Hang on buddy! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! What happened here? Did you do all this? Chandler Bing : I sure did. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Chandler Bing : Well, I just thought it'd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you're amazing. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. Joey Tribbiani : A TV as if it appears from nowhere! That's the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff? Chandler Bing : Well, y'know I'm 29. I mean who needs a savings account. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you are the best friends anyone has ever had. Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't know. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, I'm gonna do that. Chandler Bing : You mean with Casey. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, I think I'm gonna see how things go with Kathy. She's pretty cool. Chandler Bing : Or Casey. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, Kathy. Chandler Bing : Could be Casey. Joey Tribbiani : No. No, Kathy. Chandler Bing : Consider Casey. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what I think? I think somebody's got a little crush on Casey. How 'bout I fix you two up? What do you think? Chandler Bing : That all the pieces of my life are falling right into place! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! You were really great! You were really, really great! Ross Geller : Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you don't want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true? Phoebe Buffay : Well, kinda. Yeah. Yeah. Ross Geller : Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I-I can't-I mean y'know I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I just-I feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I... Ross Geller : See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Y'know my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I... I won't play anymore. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. No-no-no, don't do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay. Ross Geller : Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice. Monica Geller : Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever! Chandler Bing : I kissed Kathy. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Does Joey know? Chandler Bing : No. Is there anyway, anyway you think he'll understand this? Monica Geller : You obviously haven't screwed over a lot of your friends. Which we all appreciate. Ross Geller : No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just would've just stepped aside. Chandler Bing : Oh, don't say that! Don't say that. That's not true. Is it? Phoebe Buffay : I think maybe, yeah. Monica Geller : He loves you. Chandler Bing : Then why didn't you tell me to do that?!! Ross Geller : Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! No, that's right. And I thought it was a really good idea. Rachel Green : I know, I remember that! Monica Geller : I remember you did. Chandler Bing : God!! What am I gonna do?! Rachel Green : Well, Chandler, you're gonna have to tell him. Chandler Bing : Why?! Why do I have to tell him?! Rachel Green : Because you do. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know. Ross Geller : Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Samboucha Margarita? Chandler Bing : Is that a real thing? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now. Chandler Bing : Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something. Joey Tribbiani : What's up? Chandler Bing : It's-it's about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually. Joey Tribbiani : You do? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you're timing couldn't be better. She's not my girlfriend anymore. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she broke up with me. Chandler Bing : Oh uh, when? Joey Tribbiani : Just now, after acting class. At first I thought she was doing some kind of scene, that's why I let people watch. Chandler Bing : Oh man, I am so sorry. Are, are you okay? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I've been better. But, I'm all right. So you like her huh? Chandler Bing : Yes, but I-I uh, don't have too. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, no it's uh, it's okay. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. You know why? 'Cause you came to me first. Chandler Bing : Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do. Joey Tribbiani : But hey, listen just so you know, you might have you're work cut out for you. 'Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that she's into some other guy. So... Chandler Bing : See uh, that's-that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is. Joey Tribbiani : Who? Chandler Bing : It's me. I'm the other guy. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and... Joey Tribbiani : And what?! Did you sleep with her?! Chandler Bing : No! No! No! I just kissed her. Joey Tribbiani : What?!! That's even worse!! Chandler Bing : How is that worse?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! But it's the same! Chandler Bing : Look, I'm sorry! But there's nothing I can do, I think I'm in love with her! Joey Tribbiani : Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you! Chandler Bing : You're right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line. Joey Tribbiani : Over the line?! You-you're-you're so far past the line, that you-you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you! Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes! Right! And I feel horrible. You have to believe me! Joey Tribbiani : Is that why you bought all this stuff?! Well, y'know what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and there's a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that I'm not gonna eat! You know why?! Chandler Bing : Probably because... Joey Tribbiani : Because it's all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And I'm not happy about you either. Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, he's lost it. He's totally lost it. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves. Ross Geller : Thank you, thanks. Yeah, I lost it. Y'know, I'm not gonna play anymore, would you, can you finish my set? Phoebe Buffay : After that? Yeah! No, I mean if I can help. Ross Geller : Yeah, like I could lose it. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I played bad on purpose guys. Monica Geller : Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time. Ross Geller : Yeah-no, just that last song. Joey Tribbiani : Hello. Chandler Bing : Hey, it's me. I know you can't stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought I'd try and apologize over the phone. All I... Joey Tribbiani : Hello. Chandler Bing : Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but I'm... Joey Tribbiani : Stop callin'!! Voice : Hey! Hey! Hey! This is 92.3, WXRK, K-Rock for our $1,000 daily challenge. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Voice : What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything... Chandler Bing : Aww, turkey! Aww, giving thanks! Aww! Phoebe Buffay : Look everyone, it's the spirit of Thanksgiving! Rachel Green : So are things with you and Joey any better? Chandler Bing : They couldn't be worse. I spent eight hours calling him last night, just trying to get him to talk to me. Rachel Green : Oh wow, eight hours? So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets huh? Ross Geller : Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office? Rachel Green : You shouldn't. Phoebe Buffay : Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and there's the added mystery of who gets who. Ross Geller : Who gets whom. I don't know why I do that. Rachel Green : Well, I'm gonna take a nap, turkey makes me sleepy. Monica Geller : We haven't eaten yet! Rachel Green : I know, but all that work you're doing to get it ready, I just... Chandler Bing : Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, 'cause I wanna trade for her. Phoebe Buffay : I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh! Chandler Bing : Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly? Phoebe Buffay : Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, it's like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let's trade! Chandler Bing : Oh that's not true! That's not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it... Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it... Her initials... Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Monica Geller : Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller. Chandler Bing : Op, y'know what though, it's kind've a girlie briefcase. Monica Geller : Who cares? He works in a museum! Chandler Bing : Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start! Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to do that, Ross and Joey aren't here, you can watch the parade if you want. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Monica Geller : What is wrong with this freezer?! Ow! Ow!! Phoebe Buffay : God, what happened?! Monica Geller : Oh my God, ice just got in my eye! Rachel Green : People are trying to sleep in here! Chandler Bing : Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts. Phoebe Buffay : Open it up, let me see. Monica Geller : Oh, y'know what, I can't, it really kills. Chandler Bing : Well maybe you should put some ice on it. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, God it looks bad. Rachel Green : Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor. Monica Geller : No, my eye doctor is Richard! I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend! Chandler Bing : He's really picky about his patients. Phoebe Buffay : Honey, you've got to go. What's his office number? Monica Geller : Like I remember his office number! Speed dial 7. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. He's out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor? Monica Geller : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : Yes! She's very excited about that. Phoebe Buffay : This is so cool, 'til Monica gets back, it's like I'm head chef and I get to make all the decisions. Ross Geller : Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, get out of my kitchen! Chandler Bing : All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it. Phoebe Buffay : All right I... I gotta call my mom and ask her a left handed cooking question. Ross Geller : So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but I'm already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch. Chandler Bing : Oh y'know what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you. Ross Geller : Really?! Wow! That's-that's so nice, what are you gonna get me? Chandler Bing : I don't know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office. Ross Geller : Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, you don't want to do that, then you're gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets. Ross Geller : Oh, that's not true! I've got her lots of stuff she never took back. Chandler Bing : Like? Ross Geller : Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year. Chandler Bing : When was the last time you saw her wear it? Ross Geller : Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh... Chandler Bing : Big dog? Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt. Ross Geller : Everything? Even the TV? Joey Tribbiani : No! I'm putting that in my room. Ross Geller : Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but don't you think you could at least hear the guy out? Joey Tribbiani : Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out? Ross Geller : That's a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him? Joey Tribbiani : Five years. Ross Geller : You've sentenced him?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Ross Geller : Joey, the guy's your best friend. Joey Tribbiani : No, was my best friend. Anyway, I don't know why you're pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, there's a spot open. Ross Geller : Oh, who? Me? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Wow! I'm honored! And y'know what I'm gonna do as my first act as your best friend? Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : I'm gonna get you to talk to Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : All right. But if you weren't my best friend. Kathy : Oh my God, is it really that bad? Chandler Bing : I walk into a room and he won't even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler? Gunther : I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of who is over there. Kathy : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe. Joey Tribbiani :  Doctor : I'll be right with you. Okay? Thanks, Wendy. Monica Geller : Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor? Rachel Green : Ooh, so cute, that I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye. Nurse : Dr. Burke will see you know. Monica Geller : Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call doctor will see me now. Nurse : Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now. Timothy Burke : Ready? Chandler Bing : Hey! I'm sorry! That- where are you going? Joey Tribbiani : My folks. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, when-when are you coming back? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment. Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, y'know at first I thought we could talk about this y'know, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I don't think I... Chandler Bing : Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I'll stop seeing her? Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I don't want to live with some one who doesn't know what it is to be a friend. So, I'll see ya. Chandler Bing : Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You did! And that's why I'm leaving. Chandler Bing : All right look, if you're not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all! Joey Tribbiani : When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down! Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! But if would've know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldn't have worried about it so much! See you around! Chandler Bing : All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. What? Joey Tribbiani : We've got a box. Timothy Burke : Last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were just standing outside The Dairy Queen. Monica Geller : I was probably waiting for it to open. Timothy Burke : I gotta tell you, you look great now. Monica Geller : You look great too. Timothy Burke : You're an excellent patient! Monica Geller : So how does it look? Timothy Burke : Well, you've got a little scratch on your cornea, your gonna have to wear a patch for a couple of days. Monica Geller : Like a pirate?! Timothy Burke : If that helps you. Monica Geller : Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? Come on, one of us had to mention him. Timothy Burke : I moved back here a couple of months ago. Monica Geller : Oh. Big family dinner tonight? Timothy Burke : Uh. Monica Geller : No way! Timothy Burke : I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriend's. Monica Geller : Oh. Timothy Burke : But we broke up. Monica Geller : Oh. Timothy Burke : She-she wasn't ready for a serious commitment. Monica Geller : Oh. So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie? Timothy Burke : You're not wearing the patch yet. Monica Geller : I know. Ross Geller : He's coming here for Thanksgiving! Rachel Green : I know, it's sick. Monica Geller : Why is it sick? Rachel Green : Because it's Richard's son! It's like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner! Monica Geller : Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand don't you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I can see where I'd be your best shot but, no. I'm sorry, but I think it's twisted. Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : What's twisted? Monica Geller : Me going out with Richard's son. Joey Tribbiani : Ewwwww!! Ew! Ew! Ew! Chandler Bing : Sounds like a really bad idea to me. Rachel Green : Is he okay in there? Joey Tribbiani : He's fine! Ross Geller : Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richard's son, you'd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather. Monica Geller : Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, livin' in a box!! Rachel Green : So now, what exactly is the point of the box? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Chandler Bing : The meaning of the box is three fold. One , it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two , it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three , it hurts! Ross Geller : Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it? Rachel Green : Why? Ross Geller : I just wanna check something. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Now, we'll see. Chandler Bing : Air hole! Air hole!! Rachel Green : Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time. Ross Geller : The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver. Rachel Green : Huh, well maybe it uh, it changed. Ross Geller : Oh my God! You actually exchanged it! Rachel Green : Well isn't it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of? Ross Geller : What did you get? Rachel Green : Credit. Monica Geller : I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! Hi, Tim. Timothy Burke : Hi. Monica Geller : Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe. Timothy Burke : Hi, nice to meet you. Monica Geller : And Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Timothy Burke : Hi, Joey. Monica Geller : My brother, Ross. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : And Rachel. And that's Chandler. Chandler Bing : How do ya do. Timothy Burke : What's... Monica Geller : Umm, well, he's... Joey Tribbiani : He's doin' some thinkin'! Chandler Bing : What happened? What happened?! Joey Tribbiani : You kissed my girlfriend! Rachel Green : Ooh, I like those sunglasses. Ross Geller : Like 'em, like 'em? Or, I'd like to get store credit for that amount like 'em? Rachel Green :  Monica Geller : All right everybody, this turkey is ready! Timothy Burke : Where can I wash up? Monica Geller : Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap. Timothy Burke : Thank you. Rachel Green : Fancy soap? I thought we were savin' that for the Pope! Monica Geller : See he's nice. Right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "That's not how your dad used to do it." Timothy Burke : Wow! Everything looks great! Where should I sit? Monica Geller : I saved you a seat. Rachel Green : Sick-sick-sick-sick. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'll get it. Chandler Bing : Gotcha! Joey Tribbiani : That doesn't sound like thinking to me! Chandler Bing : Sorry! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know I don't think you should be talking at all in there! I think you've got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, you got it! Rachel Green : Ross, can you pass me the yams? Ross Geller : Sure! Oh, and Joey's got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them. Rachel Green : Would you stop?! What is the matter with you?! Monica Geller : Oh-ho-ho, we've got company. Ross Geller : There's nothing the matter with me. See, I'm not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings. Rachel Green : Okay, fine. Chandler Bing : You can't tell, but I'm trying to break the tension by mooning you guys! Joey Tribbiani : All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesn't mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise you're just an idiot in a box! Chandler Bing : You're right, and I'm sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I won't say another word tonight. Joey Tribbiani : So are you gonna start taking this thing seriously? Chandler Bing : Absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? Okay. Rachel Green : Don't say that I have no sentiment! This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! This is from the museum from the first time we... were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter! Ross Geller : I don't know what to say, I'm sorry. Though, you're not supposed to take these. It's like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that. Monica Geller : Ooh, this always happens. Timothy Burke : Here, let me help. Monica Geller : Thank you. Timothy Burke : You-you have a very beautiful... eye. Monica Geller : Y'know all my friends think this is weird. Timothy Burke : Y'know I-I thought it was gonna be weird, I mean I almost called and canceled, but it really isn't. Monica Geller : I know! I mean it's like me and your dad, that's a totally separate thing. Timothy Burke : Oh, I totally agree. Monica Geller : We're just two people who find each other very attractive. Right? Timothy Burke : What? Monica Geller : Nothing. Nothing. Timothy Burke : No-no really, was-was that not okay? Monica Geller : No-no-no that was good, it was, that was uh, that was a goood kiss... Timothy Burke : Oh my God! It didn't remind you of... Monica Geller : Don't say it! Timothy Burke : No, but it did! Didn't it?! Monica Geller : Yeah! Timothy Burke : Oh man!! Monica Geller : I know! Joey Tribbiani : I'll get it. Kathy : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Kathy : Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am... Joey Tribbiani : That's okay. Chandler's the one I'm mad at. Kathy : Well, I'm still sorry. Is he here? Joey Tribbiani : In the box. Kathy : Chandler? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he-he can't talk right now. Kathy : Why not? What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : He's just trying to show Joey how much he means to him. Kathy : By being in a box? Rachel Green : Joey, had reasons. Phoebe Buffay : They were threefold. Kathy : Oh. Well uh, you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm... Listen I don't wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I can't stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I don't wanna be the cause of that. So, I don't think we can see each other anymore. I'm gonna go to my mom's in Chicago, I'm gonna stay there for awhile. I think this could've be something really amazing, but y'know this is probably for the best. Y'know? I'm gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Open the box!! Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! Get out of there! Chandler Bing : So? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we're gonna be fine! Get out! Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you did some real good thinkin' in there. Chandler Bing : Man, this is... Joey Tribbiani : Now go! 'Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from you're secret Santa! Joey Tribbiani : All right, who got Chandler? 'Cause I uh, need to trade. Rachel Green : Oh, he sees her! Monica Geller : Oh, he's catching up to her! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she sees him! Oh, they're hugging! Ross Geller : He's taking her purse! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, that's not them. I'm gonna go call the police. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, there they are! Phoebe Buffay : All right, get a room. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Monica Geller : Come on, no peeking! Chandler Bing : Our eyes are closed and we're about to cross the street. Very good. Phoebe Buffay : Okayyyyy, open up! Ross Geller : What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchin' van! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's for our catering business! Joey Tribbiani : I think I know that girl. Monica Geller : All right, umm, we're not gonna really keep it this way though. Rachel Green : No? Phoebe Buffay : No, we're gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette. Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : And also, we don't know what to do with this. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, I definitely know her. Monica Geller : Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything? Phoebe Buffay : Oh sure, Cilantro Larry. Monica Geller : Well, I'm gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter. Monica Geller : Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence... dozens of people. Phoebe Buffay : How could you say yes, what about our catering business? Monica Geller : Oh no-no-no, it's only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners. #ALL# : Yay!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, in that case--Yay! That was me hopping on board. Monica Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party? Ross Geller : I don't know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but there's this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch. Chandler Bing : No-no, I don't think you heard me. Are you ready to party?! Ross Geller : Nooo!! Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town? Chandler Bing : Kathy's with her parents, I have nothing to do, so tomorrow we are partying with Gandolf dude! Ross Geller : Dude, we are sooo gonna party! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy? Ross Geller : Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world. Chandler Bing : I'm gonna call and get off work tomorrow! Ross Geller : I'm gonna call after you! Chandler Bing : This is gonna be soo cool, dude, we never party anymore! Chandler Bing : Woooo!!! Monica Geller : All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van? Joey Tribbiani : Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book? Ross Geller : Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard! Joey Tribbiani : Well, why do you call him Gandolf? Ross Geller : Gandolf the wizard. Hello! Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school? Joey Tribbiani : No, I had sex in high school. Rachel Green : Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. There's an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss... Joanna : Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me. Rachel Green : Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and... Joanna : Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you can't stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons. Rachel Green : God, I am so glad you don't have a problem with this, because if you did, I wouldn't even consider applying. Joanna : Really? Well, in that case... Rachel Green : And that's I'm so glad... there's no problem. Joanna : That's fine, actually I'm on the hiring committee, so there'll be at least one friendly face. Rachel Green : Ohh! That's great! Joanna : You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job. Rachel Green : Really?! Joanna : No-ho-ho! Yeah. I mean, no-no-no-no-no, don't you worry, I'm sure with your qualifications you won't need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing. Rachel Green : Well, I, umm... Joanna : Kidding! God, I feel wild today! Chandler Bing : Oh man! I am so excited-I may vomit! Joey Tribbiani : Will you calm down, he's just a human guy. Chandler Bing : Look you don't understand, Gandolf is amazing. Y'know you're never know what's gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia! Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it's beautiful country up there. Ross Geller : Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite kit! Chandler Bing : It's not gonna be exactly like last time. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll see you guys. Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa! Chandler Bing : Whoa-wh-wh-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Joey Tribbiani : I have an audition, but I'll definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon? Ross Geller : Somewhere maybe along the equator? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : Hello. It's Gandolf!!! So, are you in town? Oh, well, well maybe next time then. Ross Geller : What happened? Chandler Bing : He's not gonna make it, he's stuck in Chicago. Ross Geller : Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky! Chandler Bing : Stupid, useless Canadian money! Mr. Posner : You have a very impressive resume, Ms. Green. I especially like what I see here about implementing a new filing system. Rachel Green : Thank you. Joanna : Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets. Rachel Green : Well, they uh, they-they do more than that. Mrs. Lynch : I notice that you've been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities. Rachel Green : Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me. Joanna : Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. It's amazing how she gets it right almost every time! Rachel Green : I-I-I of course, I have more responsibilities than that. Joanna : Oh yes, well there's the coffee too. Rachel can carry two things at once! Mr. Posner : Yes, that's very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers. Rachel Green : Yes, I realize that... Joanna : And Rachel shouldn't have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean. Rachel Green : I love working with designers! Joanna : With them, under them, what's the difference? Eh, Rach? Monica Geller : Hey! My first review is out! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm. Monica Geller : All right, look at my on the back page. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay! "Would I go back to Allesandro's? Sure, but I'd have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." Wow! You really laid into this place. Monica Geller : Hey, they don't pay me a penny a word to make friends. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering. Monica Geller : Oh! Do you need me to go with you? Phoebe Buffay : No-no, it's okay. But are we sure we don't want the waterbed? Monica Geller : Haven't we made this decision? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, all right. Monica Geller : Bye! Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Monica Geller : Who is it? Allesandro : It's Allesandro, from Allesandro's. Monica Geller : Oh my God. Allesandro : I want to talk to you about your review. Monica Geller : Oh my God, oh my God. Call me on the phone! Allesandro : Why? So you could hang up on me? Monica Geller : Look, I-I'm never gonna let you up so you may as well just go away. Allesandro : Just give me a chance too... Phoebe Buffay : Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go. Monica Geller : No! Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Monica! Allesandro : I want a retraction! Our food is not inedible swill! Monica Geller : I couldn't eat it! I had five friends who couldn't eat it, and one of them eats books. Allesandro : Well our service is not grossly incompetent. Monica Geller : The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants! Allesandro : Well, you said that we except the Discover Card, which we do not! Monica Geller : All right, that I'll retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasn't it. You're marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery. Allesandro : Hey! I'm proud of that sauce, it's delicious. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from? Allesandro : Lebanon. Monica Geller : Hand me those tomatoes, I'm gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them. Allesandro : How long is this gonna take? 'Cause I got another critic to go yell at. Rachel Green : Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview. Joanna : I thought it went very well. Rachel Green : No! It didn't! That's what I want to talk to you about. Now, just to brief you... I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you. Joanna : Rachel, please, don't make a scene. Rachel Green : There's nobody here! Joanna : Sophie, get in here! You see! Now you're making Sophie uncomfortable! Sophie : She's not making me uncomfortable. Joanna : Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. Rachel Green : Do you want me to quit? Joanna : What?! What would make you think that? Rachel Green : Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Y'know what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, and I will be gone by the end of the day! Well, I guess there's no use to me sticking around 'til the end of the day! Joanna : Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in it's drawer. If you must know the truth, I didn't want to lose a perfectly good assistant. Rachel Green : What? Joanna : That's why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking... Rachel Green : My drinking? Joanna : Oh, I must've said that after you left. Rachel Green : Said what? Exactly. Joanna : That you enjoyed the occasional drink...ing binge. Rachel Green : Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! I'm leaving! You are just a horrible person! Joanna : Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If you're gonna get all sensitive about it! I don't want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? I'll make you an assistant buyer in this department. Rachel Green : Say more things like that. Joanna : You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow. Rachel Green : I'd need an expense account. Joanna : Done! Rachel Green : And an assistant. Joanna : Sophie, get in here! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! What are you guys doing here? I thought you'd be out partying with Gandel-worf. Ross Geller : It's Gandolf, and he's not coming. Joey Tribbiani : So you've been sittin' around here all mornin'? Ross Geller : No! I balanced my checkbook. Chandler Bing : Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players. Ross Geller : I can't believe he didn't come! Joey Tribbiani : So what if he didn't come! We can still go out and party ourselves! Chandler Bing : Oh-no, y'know with Gandolf we'd be out all night! Ross Geller : Yeah! We'd meet, we'd meet total strangers, and hang out with them! Joey Tribbiani : Well, we could do that! Ross Geller : There's other stuff too. Joey Tribbiani : We'll do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on! Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Yeah!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Ross Geller : It's not like we don't know how to party!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! All right? Let's go! Chandler Bing : And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!!! Chandler Bing : All right!! Ross Geller : Hey-hey-hey, when uh, when were we on a boat? Chandler Bing : Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Well, those were seals, man. Rachel Green : Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer? Monica Geller : Okay, the owner of Allesandro's came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!! Rachel Green : Oh my God!! You just ruined the thing I was practicing the whole way home, but I'm soo happy! Monica Geller : Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen! Rachel Green : Ohh, you've waited soo long. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, Pheebs, quick question for ya. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdale's? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, it would totally depend on her coloring and... You got the job!! Rachel Green : Yes!!! Monica Geller : You got the job?! Why didn't you tell me? Rachel Green : Ohh, it's gonna be so great! I'm gonna get to help decide what we sell, I'm gonna have an office with walls and everything. I'm gonna have walls! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception. Monica Geller : Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering. Phoebe Buffay : But we've only had one job. Monica Geller : I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like it's snowballing, y'know? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! What are you saying? Monica Geller : I got offered the head chef job at Allesandro's. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : It's okay, 'cause y'know what? You don't really need me for the business. Phoebe Buffay : You're the cook! With out you it's just me driving up to people's houses with empty trays and asking for money! Monica Geller : All right. But umm, I-I-I'll pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van. Phoebe Buffay : For what? I can't believe this! I gotta get out of here. Monica Geller : Phoebe, wait a minute! Rachel Green : I'm an assistant buyer!! Joey Tribbiani : All right, so we'll get a little coffee, and get energized, and we'll head back out. Chandler Bing : Yeah, all right. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : So, we're having fun, right? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : We don't need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, we'll head down to the docks and see about that boat thing. Ross Geller : I'm kinda beat. Chandler Bing : Actually, me too. Joey Tribbiani : Are you serious?! Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Thank God! I'm exhausted! Gunther : So you guys want coffees? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but uh, I don't want to be up too late, so uh, I'll have a decaf. Ross Geller : Yeah, me too. Chandler Bing : Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud? Joey Tribbiani : I can't hear a word you're saying, my ears are ringing so bad. Ross Geller : I'm just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, y'know? I used them as mittens, I didn't want to touch a thing in that last place. Ross Geller : How sad are we? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? We're not sad, we're not sad, we're just not 21 anymore. Y'know? I'm 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Ross Geller : And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath! Joey Tribbiani : We're 29, we're not women. Monica Geller : Ohh, here you are. Y'know, I'm-I'm glad you decided to hear me out. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm hearing. Monica Geller : I've been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Monica Geller : Or! A bakery delivery person. Phoebe Buffay : I wa-I wa-I wa... Monica Geller : Pizza?! Phoebe Buffay : Monica! Monica Geller : All right, I've got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, I'm getting the feeling that you don't want to deliver. Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Okay. I'm guessing that if you don't want to deliver, you probably don't want to pick stuff up either. Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Y'know what, let's do the catering business. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Are you sure? Monica Geller : Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Y'know what, it'd be, it'd be fun. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, let's plan the wedding reception. Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. Y'know what, I want you to take the chef job. Monica Geller : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. That's what you really want. Yeah, I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really don't want to be the reason I'm unhappy. Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Besides, it might be kinda fun to form the new A-Team. Rachel Green : Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already? Mrs. Lynch : Oh my goodness! You haven't heard! Rachel Green : Heard what? Mrs. Lynch : Joanna passed away last night. Rachel Green : Oh my God! How?! Mrs. Lynch : Well, she was leaving work and she was hit by a cab. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it! Mrs. Lynch : I know! Rachel Green : Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh God. Mrs. Lynch : I didn't realize that she was so close. Rachel Green : Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before... it happened. Mrs. Lynch : No. Nothing. Imagine, if she had just stepped off that curb a few seconds later. Rachel Green : Yes-yes, just a few seconds and she'd still be with us-nothing about an assistant buyer? Mrs. Lynch : No, I'm sorry. I have to go. Sophie : Good morning! Rachel Green : Oh, Sophie, I guess you didn't hear about Joanna... Sophie : I sure did! Allesandro : I'm so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, it's like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much we're gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef. Monica Geller : Umm, I just wanna say, uh that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... Are you gonna kill me? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : I'm sorry I'm late, did I miss anything? Phoebe Buffay : Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth. Ross Geller : 15? Your personal best! Phoebe Buffay : Where were you? Ross Geller : Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! How did you meet her? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, which museum? Phoebe Buffay : No, answer his. Ross Geller : Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so she'd have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy. Chandler Bing : Were you so late because you were burring this woman? Ross Geller : No, I'm getting back down 'cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but she's like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away. Chandler Bing : How can she be great if she's from Poughkeepsie? That joke would've killed in Albany. Joey Tribbiani : Done! I did it! Heh, who's stupid now? Chandler Bing : Hey, look at this! They're lighting the big Christmas tree tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, that paper's two weeks old. Chandler Bing : All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I can't believe I missed it. Rachel Green : Hey, y'know, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know it'll be Valentine's Day, then my birthday, then bang!-before you know it, they're lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! Y'know, I want a man!! I mean, it doesn't even have to be a big relationship, y'know, just like a fling would be great. Chandler Bing : Really?! I didn't think girls ever just wanted a fling. Rachel Green : Well, believe me, it's been a long time since I've been flung. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? There's some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up? Rachel Green : Yeah! Wait a minute, it's been a long time that I've been single. How come you never offered this before? Chandler Bing : Well, I have a girlfriend, I'm-I'm happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy. Rachel Green : Okay! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I don't like guys with boring jobs. Chandler Bing : Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer? #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : What's wrong Mon? Monica Geller : Ohh, everybody at the restaurant still hates me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this on my chef's hat. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, maybe they meant to write, 'Quiet, bitch.' Rachel Green : Hey, honey! What's the matter? Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa! Monica Geller : I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh! Monica Geller : I mean they're trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something I've been waiting for my whole life. Rachel Green : Well, wait a minute, you're the boss! Why don't you just yell at them? Or, fire them? Monica Geller : I would love too, but I can't! I mean I just can't, you know that I'm not good at confrontation. Chandler Bing : Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, who's boss. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Mon! I'm not doing anything, why don't you fire me? Monica Geller : That's a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter? Joey Tribbiani : Good enough to get fired. Monica Geller : All right, you're hired! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials? Chandler Bing : Yes. Chandler Bing : I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? Og-ee-op, I'm not asking for me, I'm... I mean... No, I'm-I'm not gay, I'm not asking you out. I'm not-I'm not-I'm not gay! Drew : I didn't think you were gay. I do now. Chandler Bing : See my friend-my friend, Rachel, she wants to be set up. Drew : Ahh, I just got out of a big relationship, I'm not looking for any thing serious. Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know what, that might be okay even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel. Mike : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel? Chandler Bing : Oh, by the way, that is her full name. Mike : Oh wow! I'm free for her! Drew : Oh, wait a second! I didn't say I wasn't free! Mike : Hey, Chandler, why don't we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow? Drew : Hold on, y'know I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five? Chandler Bing : Oh well, that's uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure! Mike : Maybe, before the game we could enjoy some eight year old some small batch Basel Hadens. Chandler Bing : Well, I don't really know what that is, but let's!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! You guys, I'm writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel! Rachel Green : Pheebs, that's great! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yay! Rachel Green : But y'know umm, Rachel doesn't rhyme with draddle. Phoebe Buffay : I know but it's so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name! Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole. Phoebe Buffay : All good, thanks. Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname that's easier to rhyme? Monica Geller : Didn't your dad used to call you Pumpkin? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Pumpkin? Yeah. But did he ever call you like, Budolph? Chandler Bing : Hello, children! #ALL# : Hey! Chandler Bing : Have I got the 50 guys for you! Rachel Green : Really?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! They're buying me drinks! They're giving me stuff! Knicks tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! Where are the seats? Chandler Bing : Wherever! I've got like 20! Rachel Green : So, will I like any of these guys? Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I'm gonna uh, play the field just a little more. Rachel Green : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Guys are signing over their 401-K's to me? Phoebe Buffay : You work with robots!! Chandler Bing : Yes. Okay, there's this one guy, Patrick, I think you're gonna like him, he's really nice, he's funny, he's a swimmer. Rachel Green : Ohh, I like swimmer's bodies! Chandler Bing : Yes, and his father invented that magnetic strip on the back of credit cards. Rachel Green : Op, I like credit cards! Chandler Bing : See, I'm not bad at this fixing up thing, huh? Rachel Green : Well, so what does he do? Chandler Bing : Oh, he works in the Fine Foods division. Rachel Green : Your company has a fine foods division? Chandler Bing : It's a big company, I don't-if you-I... Joey Tribbiani : Now, wait a second! You make food and robots? Phoebe Buffay : No! No, the robots just work for them. Monica Geller : All right, I'm gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that! Monica Geller : You want a problem? I'll give you a problem! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, what are you gonna do? You're gonna fire me? Monica Geller : You bet your ass, I'm gonna fire you! Thank you. Ross Geller : Oh, wow! I should get going. I-I got a date tonight. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! With who? Ross Geller : You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I can't decide between the two of them. Y'know the one from Poughkeepsie, even though she's a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Y'know she's, well she's-she's just as pretty, I guess she's smart, she's not fun. Phoebe Buffay : If she's no fun, why do you want to date her at all? Ross Geller : Well, I-I want to give her another chance, y'know? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that was-if she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasn't kidding, she's not fun, she's stupid, and kind of a racist. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, man! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ooh, how was your first day working at the restaurant? Joey Tribbiani : Damn! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what happened to your fancy chef's jacket? Monica Geller : They baked it. I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna call a meeting tonight, I'm gonna fire you tonight. Joey Tribbiani : You got it! Oh-oh! Monica Geller : What are you doing?! Joey Tribbiani : It's still a tiny bit on fire there. Monica Geller : Thanks. I think you got it! Rachel Green : Chandler!! You have the best taste in men! Chandler Bing : Well, like father, like son. Rachel Green : Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious. Chandler Bing : Really?! I-I thought you weren't looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling. Rachel Green : Well, y'know, possibly. You didn't tell him that, though? Right? Chandler Bing : Ummmmmmmm, no. Rachel Green : You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You don't tell the guy that! Chandler Bing : Why not?! I'd be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to get-oh I see. Rachel Green : Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first date-oh, he's so gonna get the wrong idea. Monica Geller : Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Listen uh, I'd prefer it if you didn't call me Joey. Since I don't know anyone here, I thought it'd be cool to try out a cool work nickname. A Waiter : Hey, dragon! Here's your tips from Monday and Tuesday. Joey Tribbiani : There's like-there's like 300 bucks in this one! The Waiter : Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers. Monica Geller : Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonight's specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bag-Why is nobody writing these down? The Waiter : Because we can remember them. Monica Geller : Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night? The Waiter : Well, sure, that too. Monica Geller : Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right here's the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere... The Waiter : Can't hear you! Monica Geller : A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?! Joey Tribbiani : No ma'am. The Waiter : Hey! He has a name, it's Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. We did the hat right? Monica Geller : What the hell happened?! Joey Tribbiani : I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! It's been a long time since I had... 327 + 238 dollars!" Monica Geller : Joey, we had a deal. That-that's why you're here! I've got to fire you! Joey Tribbiani : And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You don't fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and they'll start listening to all the nice things I've been saying about you. Monica Geller : What kinda things have you been saying? Joey Tribbiani : Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in. Phoebe Buffay : Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry... Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know, y'know what Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : What? Chandler Bing : I'm not Jewish, so... Phoebe Buffay : So! Ross doesn't really decorate his tree with floss, but you don't hear him complaining do you? God! Chandler Bing : Bad dream? Ross Geller : I wasn't sleeping. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebe's song about? Ross Geller : The one with the cat. I gotta go, I've got another date. Phoebe Buffay : So, did you pick one yet? Ross Geller : No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thought-it wasn't that funny. So I'm still torn. Phoebe Buffay : Well look, you don't really like the one from uptown and you're too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, you're done! Ross Geller : Y'know, you're right. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well I had a similar problem when I lived in Prague. Chandler Bing : Prague? Phoebe Buffay : There's sooo much you don't know. Rachel Green : Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship? Chandler Bing : I did! I absolutely did! Rachel Green : You idiot!! Chandler Bing : I'm sure you're right, but why? Rachel Green : You don't tell a guy that you're looking for a serious relationship! You don't tell the guy that! Now you scared him away! Chandler Bing : Oh, man. I'm sorry, I'm so-so sorry. Rachel Green : Y'know, you should never be allowed to talk to people! Chandler Bing : I know! I know! Rachel Green : Oh! See just I'm right back where I started! Aww, this sucks! Being alone, sucks! Chandler Bing : Well, y'know, you're-you're gonna meet somebody! You're a great catch! Y'know when I was telling all those guys about you, I didn't have to lie once. Rachel Green : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right? Rachel Green : No. Chandler Bing : Oh, it doesn't matter. Hey, y'know what, I've got two tickets to tonight's Rangers game, you wanna come with me? Rachel Green : Cute guys in little shorts? Sure. Chandler Bing : Well, actually it's a hockey team, so it's angry Canadians with no teeth. Rachel Green : Well that sounds fun too. Chandler Bing : Have you ever been with a woman? Rachel Green : What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?! Chandler Bing : So there is no good time to ask that question. The Conductor : The next station is Poughkeepsie. Poughkeepsie! The Woman From Poughkeepsie : Ross? Ross! Wake up! Ross! Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!! Monica Geller : I need more swordfish. Can you get me some more swordfish? Kitchen Worker : I don't speak English. Monica Geller : You did a minute ago! Kitchen Worker : Well, I don't know what to tell ya! Monica Geller : Fine! Monica Geller : Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, I'm cold! And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! The Waiter : You found that handle, did ya? Monica Geller : That's not funny. The Waiter : Well that's not true. Monica Geller : I'm a good person. And I'm a good chef, and I don't deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Y'know what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chef Geller! Y'know that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it! Monica Geller : You do? Joey Tribbiani : You bet I do! I just ah, wasn't listening then, that's all. Monica Geller : Well if you want a problem? I'll give you a problem! Joey Tribbiani : What are you gonna do? You're gonna fire me? Monica Geller : You bet your ass I'm gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! All right! Anybody else got a problem? How 'bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now? The Waiter : No. Monica Geller : How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think it's funny now? The Waiter : No, it's really good. Monica Geller : Good! Now, take those salads to table 4, And you! Get the swordfish! And you! Get a haircut! The Conductor : Last stop, Montreal. This stop is Montreal. Ross Geller : What? Woman On Train : I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win. Ross Geller : What? Woman On Train : We're at my stop. But would you like to have coffee? Ross Geller : Are we really in Montreal?! Woman On Train : Yes we are. So, coffee? Ross Geller : Coffee sounds great. Wait, so, so you live in Montreal? Woman On Train : Oh, no. But it's just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia. Joey Tribbiani : Well I guess I should've thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller! Monica Geller : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Yep! Looks like it's gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year. Monica Geller : Enough! Joey Tribbiani : Lean-lean-lean! Phoebe Buffay : "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap./Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap./Said all you need is to write them a song./They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along./No, don't sing along./Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah./Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross./And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy!/And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"/Happy holidays, everybody! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I can't believe my little brother is married! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh I know!! Phoebe Buffay : You guys, why didn't you tell me you were eloping? Frank Buffay Jr. : 'Cause it just sorta happened, y'know we were at the courthouse, we were having lunch... Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse? Frank Buffay Jr. : We were having lunch. Yeah and then all of the sudden we were like, "Hey! Y'know, we're here, having lunch let's get married! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, a year and a half ago I didn't even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. Okay. Okay. Stop it, don't. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need? Frank Buffay Jr. : Uhh, yeah. Alice Knight : We've been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought we'd get a jump on things, y'know no one's getting any younger. Frank Buffay Jr. : See the thing is umm, we're not able to y'know, uh, conceive. Alice Knight : And we've tried everything, we've seen a bunch of doctors. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into. Phoebe Buffay : That's a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! Guess which job I got. Chandler Bing : I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Blue blazer back. He-he wants it back. Rachel Green : But you-you said black. Why would he want his blue blazer black? Chandler Bing : Well, you-you know what I meant. Monica Geller : No, you messed it up. You're stupid. Chandler Bing : So what job did you get Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me. Rachel Green : Well, how can you be a tour guide, don't you have to be a dinosaur expert or something? Joey Tribbiani : No, not really. They give you all the information, it's uh, it's like memorizing a script. "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period. Chandler Bing : Great!! That's great! Ross Geller : Uh actually Joey, it's the Cretasous period. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic. Phoebe Buffay : Hey!! #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married! #ALL# : Oh my God!! Phoebe Buffay : And! And, they're gonna have a baby! And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. Ross Geller : My God! Monica Geller : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah Joey Tribbiani : You're really thinking about having sex with your brother?! Phoebe Buffay : Ewww! And "Oh no!" It's-they just want me to be the surrogate. It's her-it's her egg and her sperm, and I'm-I'm just the oven, it's totally their bun. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Monica Geller : What did you tell them? Phoebe Buffay : Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? I'm gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give. Chandler Bing : You're gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station? Rachel Green : Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about. Monica Geller : Yeah, like you're gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant. Phoebe Buffay : I know! Ross Geller : Pheebs, you're talking about putting your body through an awful lot, I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and it's all for somebody else! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, what's your point? Ross Geller : Well, the stuff I just mentioned. Rachel Green : Wow! I don't know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a...keeper. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture. Joey Tribbiani : No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, we'll be supportive like crazy. #ALL# : Yeah. Monica Geller : We just want you to think it through. Rachel Green : Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody who's had a baby. Like your mom? Phoebe Buffay : My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did. Kathy : Umm, I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, sure, it's not mine anyway. It can with the pants. Kathy : Oh! Monica Geller : I am so jealous. Rachel Green : You guys are really right...there aren't you? Chandler Bing : Yes. Right where? Monica Geller : In the beginning where y'know it's all sex and talking and sex and talking and... Chandler Bing : Yeah, you-you gotta love the talking. Monica Geller : And the sex? Chandler Bing : All right, we haven't had sex yet. Okay, what's the big deal? Y'know? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level. Rachel Green : Oh, Chandler that is so nice. Ross Geller : That is really nice...lying! No way is that the reason! Rachel Green : Why? Just because you're not mature enough to understand something like that?! Chandler Bing : No, he's right, I'm totally lying. Monica Geller : Then what is it? Chandler Bing : Well, Kathy's last boyfriend was Joey. Ross Geller : And you're afraid you won't be able to...fill his shoes. Chandler Bing : No, I'm afraid I won't be able to make love as well as him. Ross Geller : Yeah, I was going for the metaphor. Chandler Bing : Yes, and I was saying the actual words. Monica Geller : So big deal, so Joey's had a lot of girlfriends, it doesn't mean he's great in bed. Chandler Bing : We share a wall! So either he's great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot. Monica Geller : Sweetie, with you it's gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, 'cause you-you guys are in love. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Just go for it Chandler. Monica Geller : Yeah, you should. Rachel Green : Yeah, you should, really. Monica Geller : Go on. Chandler Bing : All right, all right, I'll go sleep with my girlfriend. But I'm just doing it for you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period. Smart Kid : Isn't the Mastodon from the Pliocene Epic? Joey Tribbiani : Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, we have a large foot. Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. Everyone wave 'Hi' to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. Okay, moving right along. Come on. Phoebe Abbott : It's open! Come in! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Phoebe Abbott : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm late. Phoebe Abbott : Oh, that's okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! You really go all out when you're expecting company. Phoebe Abbott : No, I was working on my pottery. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didn't know that you did...pot. Phoebe Abbott : Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, erotiery! Phoebe Abbott : Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Y'know... Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Abbott : I really don't think it's a very good idea, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Phoebe Abbott : Well, because you'd be giving up a baby, and I-I really don't-I don't know if there's anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Don't-don't hurt the puppy. Phoebe Abbott : No-no-no, the-the puppy's yours. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I get a puppy!! Phoebe Abbott : Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Phoebe Abbott : I realise I don't have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, uhh... Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, it's very important. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Abbott : I mean, I know what I'm talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. I really shouldn't have given you the puppy first. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, do you mind sitting there. I'm-I'm saving this for my friend Ross. Tour Guide : You mean Dr. Geller? Joey Tribbiani : Doctor? Wow! I didn't know he had a nickname. Tour Guide : Oh, he won't sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there, and only the people in the blue blazers sit here. Joey Tribbiani : Well, how-how come? Tour Guide : That's just the way it is. Joey Tribbiani : That's crazy. Tour Guide : Maybe it's crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now... Peter! Hey, Peter! It's me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin' which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! See, he pretend he don't even here me! Joey Tribbiani : I-I think everybody's pretending they don't hear you. Anyway, look, I don't know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, I'm telling you, he will sit in it! Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat. Ross Geller : That's okay, I'm cool over here. I'll catch up with you later, Joey. Tour Guide : Op, this is saved. Gift shop. Ross Geller : Hey, uh, I'm really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today. Joey Tribbiani : It's no big deal. Hey, y'know, you do what you gotta do. Right? Ross Geller : But hey, it's not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together. Joey Tribbiani : Whatever. Ross Geller : It's like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right? Monica Geller : I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me. Joey Tribbiani : Look, Ross, really it's-it's no big deal. Y'know you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we can't be friends at work, then so be it. Y'know, hey I understand. Y'know? Hey, when I'm in a play and you're in the audience, I don't talk to you, right? So it's y'know, it's uh, it's cool. I'll see you tomorrow. Rachel Green : Yeah, when we're in the audience he doesn't talk to us, but he does wave. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, y'know what, I think it's time for puppy to go out again. Come on, let's go to the balcony. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, the street. Come on, let's go to the street. Ooh, listen, don't go onto the balcony until after I get back. Monica Geller : So, did you do it? Chandler Bing : Yes, yes, we had the sex. Monica Geller : Uh-oh, it was bad? Chandler Bing : It was fine, y'know? But she didn't agree with me as strongly as she agreed with Joey. She was more like, "I see you point, I'm all right with it." Monica Geller : Well, it was the first time. Y'know, there's not always a lot of agreement the first time. Rachel Green : Yeah, not girls anyway, guys agree like that. Chandler Bing : Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, y'know, I know where everything goes, it's always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebody's killing her in there!" Monica Geller : All right, I'm gonna show you something a lot of guys don't know. Rach, give me that pad, please? All right. Now... Chandler Bing : Look, you don't have to draw an actual wo-whoa! She's hot! Monica Geller : Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. You got one, two three, four , five, six, and seven! Chandler Bing : There are seven?! Rachel Green : Let me see that. Oh, yeah. Chandler Bing : That's one? Monica Geller : It's kind of an important one! Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know-y'know what, I was looking at it upside down. Rachel Green : Well, y'know, sometimes that helps. Monica Geller : Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp. Chandler Bing : That-that's bad? Rachel Green : Well if you go to Disneyland, you don't spend the whole day on the Materhorn. Chandler Bing : Well you might if it were anything like 7! Monica Geller : All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit 'em all, and you mix 'em up. You gotta keep them on their toes. Rachel Green : Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. Monica Geller : All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, ...7.....7...7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7...! Older Scientist : Dr. Geller, there's a seat over here. Ross Geller : Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but I'm having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. I'm having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if he'll sit with me. Joey Tribbiani : I will sit with you Dr. Geller. Ross Geller : Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and y'know what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. I'm Ross! I'm divorced, and I have a kid! Joey Tribbiani : I'm Joey! I'm an actor! I don't know squat about dinosaurs! Another Tour Guide : I'm Ted, and I just moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me. Ross Geller : All right, there you go! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you hang in there Teddy! Older Scientist : I'm Andrew, and I didn't pay for this pear. Ross Geller : Okay, good-good for you. Tour Guide : I'm Rhonda, and these aren't real! Ross Geller : Wow, Rhonda. Another Scientist : I'm Scott. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay, Scott! Another Scientist : And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die. Phoebe Buffay : My mom's gonna be here any minute. I can't do this, I can't give him up. Yes-no, I can. I don't want to. But I can. No. Rachel Green : Oo, I can't watch this, it's like Sophie's Choice. Monica Geller : Y'know, I never saw that. Rachel Green : Ooh, it was only okay. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I can't do this. My mom was right. If I can't-if I can't give him up, then there's no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give 'em-a kidney! Alice Knight : Hi! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi! Alice Knight : Uhh, we were just in the neighbourhood, so... Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, so we just thought we'd stop by and let you know there's still no pressure. Alice Knight : None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, we're just gonna be right over there having coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, who's this little guy?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ooh! Umm! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, he's so cute, he reminds me of my old dog, Tumour. Alice Knight : You are so precious, I could just take you home. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, why don't you? Frank Buffay Jr. : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, thanks. Monica Geller : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm really okay with this. Y'know why? 'Cause look at them, and I made that, so... I know it's gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, it's gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. I wanna carry your baby. Alice Knight : Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You don't know what this means to us! Oh! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh my God, I think I'm gonna cry! Monica Geller : It's gonna be so great. Phoebe Abbott : Hi! What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided I'm gonna carry their baby. Phoebe Abbott : But Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this. Phoebe Abbott : Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but it's just-that was my puppy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Monica Geller : Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone? Rachel Green : It depends on who asked. Monica Geller : What if I asked? Rachel Green : Oh, Mon, sure. Monica Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yes. You're not asking are you? Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : Yes! Totally! Kathy : Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you! Rachel Green : What the hell is that?!! What the hell is that? Is that you? Ohhhhhhh! Monica Geller : Boy, you are really not a morning person. Rachel Green : BACK OFF!!! Get up! Get up! Get up! God damn it! Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up!! Rachel Green : What is that noise? Chandler Bing : You! Joey Tribbiani : It's the chick! She's...going through some changes. Monica Geller : What kind of changes? Chandler Bing : Well the vet seems to think that's she's becoming a rooster. We're getting a second opinion. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning? Rachel Green : Well, I've been up since six. Thanks to somebody's dumb-ass rooster. Phoebe Buffay : You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldn't be living in an apartment. Rachel Green : Yeah! Especially not with all of these knives and cookbooks around... Phoebe Buffay : All right. I'm gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if I'm ready to have Frank and Alice's embryo transferred into my uterus. Ross Geller : Now, how will they know if you're ready? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, they're just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick. Chandler Bing : Oh, I can uh, check that for ya. Phoebe Buffay : Okay everyone, think thick. #ALL# : Good-bye! Good luck! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Wish me luck! Monica Geller : Oh, good luck. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck. And I'm still right! Monica Geller : That is sooo not true! Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : She's mad because I know today's her laundry day and that means she's wearing her old lady underpants. Chandler Bing : I can check that for ya. Monica Geller : I just-I can't believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you. Chandler Bing : Well... we-we do. You can only eat Tic Tacks in even numbers. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what's that about? Chandler Bing : And you... Ross, I believe, if you check Rachel's bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there. Ross Geller : You're good. These are not. Rachel Green : I'm so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop. Monica Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag? Ross Geller : Five. Chandler Bing : Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag. Rachel Green : How many guesses do you get? Joey Tribbiani : Six. Ross Geller : Challenge extended. Monica Geller : Deal! Ross Geller : Challenge excepted. Joey Tribbiani : All right, we'll start with...apples. Ross Geller : We'll be starting with apples. Chandler Bing : Stop that now! Chandler Bing : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Uhh, tortilla chips, yogurt. Chandler Bing : Diet soda. Ross Geller : Yes. Yes. Yes. Chandler Bing : Orange juice. Rachel Green : No! There's no orange juice in there! We win!! Monica Geller : Ha-ha! Ross Geller : They have another guess. Rachel Green : Okay, well, we won that one. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, the last thing... Chandler Bing : Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! Joey Tribbiani : No-no, not for like another two weeks. Chandler Bing : I got it! Scotch... tape. Ross Geller : How did you know she would buy scotch tape? Chandler Bing : Well, we used there's up last night making scary faces. Monica Geller : Aww, man! Chandler Bing : All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it. Monica Geller : That does not mean you know us better, I-I want a rematch. Rachel Green : Yeah, and none of these stupid grocery questions, real personal questions. Monica Geller : Yeah! And the winner gets a hundred bucks. Joey Tribbiani : Serious? Monica Geller : Are you scared? Joey Tribbiani : No! All right, who-who makes up the questions? Monica Geller : Ross will do it. Ross Geller : Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" It's not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own. Rachel Green : Fine! We'll ask Phoebe. Ross Geller : No-no-no, I-I wanna play. Dr. Zane : It looks like your uterus is ready for implantation. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I knew it! I knew it! I felt really thick this morning. Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, okay, so what's now-go get, go get the eggs, put 'em in there. Dr. Zane : Okay, it'll take just a little while to prepare the embryos. Phoebe Buffay : Embryossss? As in, "More than one?" Dr. Zane : Um-hmm, five actually. Phoebe Buffay : Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, a hospital or a big box under the stairs? Dr. Zane : We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach. Phoebe Buffay : That's it! 25 percent? That means that's it's like 75 percent chance of no baby at all! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, y'know I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there? Alice Knight : Sweety, now, she's a woman, not a gumball machine. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well y'know what, don't worry you guys, 'cause I'm-I'm gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right. Frank Buffay Jr. : Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right. Alice Knight : Umm, it costs $16,000 each time you do this. So, umm, we're kinda using all the money we have to do it just this one time. Phoebe Buffay : Whoa!! That-okay, that's a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. So, well okay, so is there-is maybe is there something that I can do y'know just to like help make sure I get pregnant? Dr. Zane : No, I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! You guys really don't know anything! Frank Buffay Jr. : I know! Why don't you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school. Monica Geller : You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant? Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Rachel Green : I know! I know, it's such a huge, life-altering thing. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Ross Geller : The test is ready. #ALL# : Yeah! Yes! Ross Geller : Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and It's All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. Okay, somebody call it this time. #ALL# : Oh yeah! Rachel Green : Tails! Ross Geller : It's heads. Gentlemen, pick your category. Chandler Bing : Fears and Pet Peeves. Ross Geller : What is Monica's biggest pet peeve? Joey Tribbiani : Animals dressed as humans. Ross Geller : That's correct. Ladies? Monica Geller : Same category? Ross Geller : According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him? Monica Geller : Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance! Ross Geller : That is correct. Joey Tribbiani : The Irish gig guy?! Chandler Bing : His legs flail about as if independent of his body! Ross Geller : Gentlemen, you're pick. Joey Tribbiani : It's All Relative. Ross Geller : Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother! Joey Tribbiani : Nana? Chandler Bing : She has a real name. Joey Tribbiani : Althea! Chandler Bing : Althea?! What are you doing?! Joey Tribbiani : I took a shot. Chandler Bing : You're shooting with Althea?! Ross Geller : Althea is correct. Chandler Bing : Nice shooting! Rachel Green : We'll take Literature!! Ross Geller : Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment. What name appears on the address label? Rachel Green : Chandler gets it! It's Chandler Bing! Monica Geller : No!! Ross Geller : I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to Chinandolor Bong. Monica Geller : I knew that! Rachel! Use you're head! Chandler Bing : Actually, it's Miss Chinandolor Bong. Phoebe Buffay : Hello, tiny embryos. Well, I'm-I'm Phoebe Buffay, hi! I'm-I'm-I'm hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that we're doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, you've been there! Umm, y'know they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that I'll keep you safe and warm until you're ready to have them take you home, so... Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, I'm screaming, don't worry, that's what's supposed to happen. Dr. Zane : Ready? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Good luck. Ross Geller : All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category. Rachel Green : It's All Relative!! Ross Geller : You don't have to shout everything. Rachel Green : I'm sorry! Ross Geller : Ooh. What is the name of Chandler's father's Las Vegas all-male burlesque? Monica Geller : Viva Las Gaygas! Chandler Bing : Unfortunately that is correct. The Girls : Yes!! Ross Geller : All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. The Lightning Round! #ALL# : Ohhhh. Ross Geller : Thirty seconds, all the questions you can answer. Monica Geller : You guys are dead, I am so good at lighting rounds. Chandler Bing : I majored in lightning rounds. All right, we're gonna destroy you. Monica Geller : Huh, wanna bet? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far... Monica Geller : How about we play for more money, say 150? Ross Geller : 150 dollars. Chandler Bing : Say 200? Ross Geller : 200 dollars. Monica Geller : You're doing it again. Ross Geller : Excuse me. Rachel Green : Monica, I don't want to lose 200 dollars. Monica Geller : We won't. 300? Rachel Green : Monica?! Monica Geller : I'm just trying to spice it up! Rachel Green : Okay, so let's play for some pepper! Stop spending my money! Monica Geller : I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster? Rachel Green : Oooohh that's interesting. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, no way, that rooster's family! Rachel Green : Throw in the duck too! Joey Tribbiani : What do you have against the duck?! He doesn't make any noise! Rachel Green : Well, he gets the other one all riled up. Joey Tribbiani : Look, we are not gonna... Chandler Bing : All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds. Joey Tribbiani : Dah!! Chandler Bing : But if we win, we get your apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oooooh! Monica Geller : Deal! Rachel Green : Monica, betting the apartment, I don't know about this. Monica Geller : Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. Rachel Green : Why? Do you have the answers written on there? Monica Geller : No! Steady as a rock! Now, are you with me. Rachel Green : All right, let's do it. Monica Geller : Come on! Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : All right, gentlemen, you're up first. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round begins-stop it -now. What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie? Joey Tribbiani : Big fat goalie. Ross Geller : Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie... Chandler Bing : Dangerous Liaisons. Ross Geller : Correct. Her actual favorite movie is... Joey Tribbiani : Weekend at Bernie's. Ross Geller : Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14? Chandler Bing : Oh! Ross Geller : Eww! No!! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there? Joey Tribbiani : Everyday use. Chandler Bing : Fancy. Joey Tribbiani : Guest. Chandler Bing : Fancy guest. Ross Geller : Two seconds... Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, 11! Ross Geller : 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. All right, that's 4 for the guys. Ladies, you're up. Rachel Green : All right! Monica Geller : Come on! Ross Geller : 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins...now! What is Joey's favorite food? Monica Geller : Sandwiches! Ross Geller : Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast? Rachel Green : 14? Ross Geller : No, 19. Chandler Bing : Thanks man. Ross Geller : Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was? Monica Geller : Maurice. Ross Geller : Correct, his profession was? Rachel Green : Space cowboy! Ross Geller : Correct! What is Chandler Bing's job? Rachel Green : Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers. Monica Geller : And processing. Rachel Green : He carries a briefcase. Ross Geller : 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game. Monica Geller : It's umm, it has something to do with transponding. Rachel Green : Oh-oh-oh, he's a transponce-transpondster! Monica Geller : That's not even a word! I can get this! I can get this! Monica Geller : NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Rachel Green : Oh my God. Chandler Bing : YEAH!!! YES!!! Joey Tribbiani : I call Monica's room! Chandler Bing : You can't just call Monica's room. Joey Tribbiani : Sure I can, standard shotgun rules, I'm sight of the room and I called it. Monica Geller : Man, I feel like I'm coming down with something. Joey Tribbiani : What? Monica Geller : Yeah. I bet you can't guess what color my tonsils are? I'll bet the apartment! Chandler Bing : Oh, I would never bet this apartment. It's too nice. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-ooh Pheebs, are they in there? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, yeah, uh-huh, they're implanted. Monica Geller : How do you feel? Phoebe Buffay : Well, freaked. 'Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alice's like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but I bet it works. Monica Geller : Really?! How much?! Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'm gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow! You can tell this soon. Phoebe Buffay : Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my body's always been a little faster than Western medicine. Rachel Green : Oh my God! I can't believe you guys are actually think you're moving in here! Chandler Bing : Well believe it baby! Rachel Green : Well I-I-I'm not moving. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : No, it was a stupid bet! We were just playing a game! Joey Tribbiani : You can't just ignore the bet! It's a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet! Monica Geller : Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we would've made them get rid of the birds. Right? Rachel Green : Noooo. Monica Geller : All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, it's all your fault. Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Chinadolor Bong, come on, we steal that TV Guide every week! Chandler Bing : I knew it! Rachel Green : I don't care, I'm not going anywhere. Chandler Bing : Cool, girl roommate. Monica Geller : Well? Phoebe Buffay : Nope, not knocked up yet. Monica Geller : It's only been a couple of hours, so just give it some time. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, I'm gonna do whatever I can to help this so, I'm just gonna y'know, lie it your chair, Y'know? Yeah, good, I'm let gravity y'know, do its jobs. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand with this box? Rachel Green : No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girl's apartment! That is a boy's apartment, it's dirty and it smells. This is pretty. It's-it's so pretty! And look, and it's-it's purple! And I'm telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. Monica Geller : I'll take care of it. Rachel Green : That's right! You do what the hand says! Rachel Green : How did it go? Monica Geller : I lost our mattresses. Phoebe Buffay : "Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will buy you some Adidas." Monica Geller : Hey! Alice Knight : Hi! Alice Knight : Hi, Phoebe! We were just at the drugstore and we got you a little present. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oh. Frank Buffay Jr. : Umm, it's a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test. Monica Geller : Hey, don't mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop. Alice Knight : So umm, you feel like taking a test? There's only one question. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, y'know just remember that it's still really early, okay so, if it says that I'm not pregnant, that doesn't mean that I'm not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I don't go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this. Alice Knight : Okay. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Great. Rachel Green : Y'know what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes! Rachel Green : That is not true. She did! She forced me! Monica Geller : Hey, we would still be living here if hadn't gotten the question wrong! Rachel Green : Well it stupid, unfair question! Ross Geller : Don't blame the questions! Chandler Bing : Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us! Rachel Green : Will you stop calling it your apartment! Joey Tribbiani : But it is our apartment! Rachel Green : No it's not! Phoebe Buffay : You guys! You guys! You're gonna have a baby! They're gonna have a baby! Frank Buffay Jr. : MY SISTER'S GONNA HAVE MY BABY!!!!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but this can't be good for the baby. #ALL# : Oh! Monica Geller : I can't find garbage bags! Rachel Green : Oh, I think I saw some in here. Monica Geller : What is it?! Rachel Green : I don't know! But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, it'll die. Monica Geller : I can't believe we're living here! Chandler Bing : What?! What-what is it?! Joey Tribbiani : Did you see the size of the closets?! Chandler Bing : I can't believe we live here! Chandler Bing : Awwwww!! Awwwwwww!!! Chandler Bing : Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play! Ross Geller : People can hear you. Chandler Bing : I know!! Chandler Bing : Wow! She looks great. Doesn't she? Ross Geller : Yeah. Kathy's Co-Star : Hi! Kathy : Hi! Ross Geller : That is one good looking man! Chandler Bing : Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?! Kathy's Co-Star : Sooo, you've been doing this long? Kathy : No, you're my first. Put the money on the table. Kathy's Co-Star : Oh, yeah! Ooh, that's nice. Ross Geller : Dude! Kathy's Co-Star : Is that an expensive blouse? Kathy : If you want it to be. Ross Geller : Here's your girlfriend's button. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school? Monica Geller : Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's just that maternity clothes are so expensive. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just......throw your purses at it. Rachel Green : Bloomingdale's eliminated my department. Monica Geller : Oh my God, are you out of a job? Rachel Green : No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down! Phoebe Buffay : Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : That sounds great! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You can't eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended. Joey Tribbiani : There's gravy? Monica Geller : If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, that's your department now. Monica Geller : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : I think I left a donut up here. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! How was Kathy's play? Ross Geller : Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin' guy. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it! Phoebe Buffay : That's a good idea for a business! Chandler Bing : I'm totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then they're gonna go to their cast parties and he's gonna try to undermine me. Y'know it'll be like, "So where's your boyfriend, what's-his-name, Chester?" And she'll go, "No-no-no, it's Chandler." And he'll go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joey Tribbiani : That-that is a good trick. Chandler Bing : All right, look, look, what am I gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, look they're actors. They're there to do a job, just 'cause they work together, doesn't mean they're gonna get together. I mean just 'cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesn't mean it's gonna happen with them. Ross Geller : Oh-oh, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. Joey Tribbiani : Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood. Ross Geller : They're not a couple! Phoebe Buffay : Oh-okay, I get the game now. Joey Tribbiani : Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot? Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Well okay, so then you're fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as it's hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. It's when the heat goes away, that's when you're in trouble. Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Look, you guys have been to every play I've ever been in, have I ever had chemistry on stage? Ross Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : Noooo!! Chandler Bing : So uh, man, are you gonna go to the play with me tonight? Ross Geller : Y'know what, I don't know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know but... Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no, I'm there. Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mon! Want some pancakes? Monica Geller : You made pancakes? Joey Tribbiani : Yep! Grab a plate. Monica Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, stay right there. Gettin' closer. Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, but don't worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which I'm fairly certain are the same thing. Joey Tribbiani : Listen also we're uh, we're watching the game here Saturday night, if people want to come over. Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : Oh, I was thinking about having people over for the game. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, who's playing? Monica Geller : The players. Ross Geller : Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess. Monica Geller : Please, it's a relief is what it is, is what it is. Joey Tribbiani : All right Pheebs, stick out your plate! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Rachel Green : Monica, I'm quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didn't even buy it! I'm telling you I'm quitting! That's it! I'm talking to my boss right now! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you. Stephen Waltham : In a moment, please, I'm in the middle of a task. And you have a customer. Rachel Green : Hi! Joshua Burgin : Hi, I'm Joshua. Rachel Green : Hi, I'm Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua? Joshua Burgin : Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife... Rachel Green : Oh, I'm so sorry. Joshua Burgin : Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt. Rachel Green : Well, at least that's a great suit. Joshua Burgin : Yeah, but it wasn't much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. So I need everything down to underwear, so if you're willing, I'm all yours. Rachel Green : Okay. Stephen Waltham : Rachel, you needed to speak to me? Rachel Green : No-no, that wasn't me! Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. The selection of underwear we carry. Rachel Green : Oh-oh, sorry, it's this way, it's this way. Joshua Burgin : It's this way? Sorry. Chandler Bing : I'm right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now there's no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means! Ross Geller : All right, let's not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them. Chandler Bing : Come on, it was like cousins having sex up there! Ross Geller : Here she comes. Don't say a word, okay? Just be cool, don't be...y'know you. Kathy : Hey you guys! Ross Geller : Hey! Kathy : Hi! Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight? Ross Geller : Oh, absolutely! Kathy : Wasn't Nick funny when he couldn't get his match lit? Kathy : It's a good play, isn't it? Chandler Bing : Oh, I loved the play. You were great, and Nick ditto. Clearly you're having sex with him. Ross Geller : Okay, I... Kathy : Clearly, I'm having sex with him? Chandler Bing : Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two! Kathy : Okay, so let me just get this straight. You're accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance? Chandler Bing : Y'know, I-I could see how this could happen, y'know you're up there every night, you're naked, touching, kissing. Kathy : Acting! Chandler, this is my job! I'm-I'm playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?! Chandler Bing : Well, you can understand, given how we started. Kathy : Oh, wow. I can't believe you're throwing that in my face. Chandler Bing : Well, that is what happened, and I don't even see you denying this! Kathy : I'll tell you what, Chandler, why don't you call me when you grow up! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, don't expect that to happen anytime soon! Rachel Green : I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel has a new doll. Rachel Green : Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh. Ross Geller : Uh, hello! Rachel Green : Hi-e!! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, what do I smell? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, it smells good. Monica Geller : Fresh cookies! Hot from the oven! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Monica Geller : Please, have some! Ross Geller : Oh, yumm! Monica Geller : Yeah, I've just been fiddling around in here making delicious treats for everyone. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! The new Playboy! Monica Geller : Yeah, it's just something I picked up. Ross Geller : Cookies and porn, you're the best mom ever!! Phoebe Buffay : What? What? Rachel Green : Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there. Ross Geller : Yeah, how does Jason look in a v-neck? Rachel Green : It's Joshua. Ross Geller : Oh, whatever. Monica Geller : Wait! Wait! This isn't take-out! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I hate to eat and run, but... Monica Geller : No, wait, please don't go! I've got porn for you too! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I don't need it. Monica Geller : People are supposed to wanna hang out here! Rachel Green : Why? Honey, what is the big deal? Monica Geller : I'm the hostess! Not those guys! I'm always the hostess! I mean, I was always the hostess, I mean even when I was little, I mean the girls brought their dollies to my tea party, I-I served the best air. Phoebe Buffay : Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment? Monica Geller : 'Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But I'm-I'm done now. They've suffered enough. Phoebe Buffay : If you wanted to punish them, you should've just made them hang out here! Rachel Green : Yeah, that's true. Monica Geller : All right then, when I'm done with this place, it's gonna be ten times better than that place! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, are we gonna trash that place? Chandler Bing : Steps! Slut! You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy! #ALL# : What?! Ross Geller : So you were right? Chandler Bing : I confronted her, and she didn't deny it! I don't live here! Ross Geller : Chandler! Rachel Green : Chandler, what did she say? Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute. Joey Tribbiani : Come here. Monica Geller : Are you sure? Chandler Bing : Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julie's... Rachel Green : Beefsteak Charlie's? Chandler Bing : Yes! See you and I have always been like- Rachel Green : Whoops. Oh, hey, do you need help with that? Monica Geller : Nah, I got it. Rachel Green : Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. Rachel Green : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Rachel Green : So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. It's just so frustrating! Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you ask him out? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, totally! That's such a turn-on! Rachel Green : Really? It doesn't seem desperate? Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ooh, that's the turn-on. Phoebe Buffay : He just got a divorce right? Rachel Green : Hmm-mmm. Phoebe Buffay : So he's probably really nervous around women, y'know? Maybe, you just have to make the first move. Rachel Green : Yeah but, I've never asked a guy out before. Phoebe Buffay : You've never asked a guy out?!! Rachel Green : No. Have you? Phoebe Buffay : Thousands of times!! That doesn't make me sound too good does it? Rachel Green : I don't even know how I would go about it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin'?" Phoebe Buffay : Oh, please! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how you doin'? Rachel Green : You know what, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna call him up, and I'm gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. How you doin'? Hi! Joshua? It's Rachel Green from Bloomingdale's. Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we- the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, let's see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. You've done that a thousand times? Phoebe Buffay : I've never done that. Rachel Green : Ohh, God, I just got so nervous that he would say no. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you gotta give him something that he can't say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, you're guaranteed he'll say yes! Rachel Green : Really?! You think that will work? Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely! And if it doesn't, can I get the extra ticket? Joey Tribbiani : What the heck is that? Chandler Bing : Did she call? Phoebe Buffay : No, sorry. Chandler Bing : All right, maybe I should call her. Joey Tribbiani : No! Forget her, man! You don't need her, you don't need that! Ross Geller : He's right, what she did was unforgivable. Chandler Bing : Well, yeah, but y'know, what-what if I was wrong? Ross Geller : How might you be wrong? Chandler Bing : Well y'know, what if she didn't actually sleep with the guy? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, tell me she actually told you this. Chandler Bing : She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross! Ross Geller : That's all you're basing this on? Chandler Bing : That's not backing me up! Look, you said with the off-stage and the heat, and the onstage and the oy heat. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry. Chandler Bing : Oh my God!! Rachel Green : Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too... Umm, who likes the Knicks- Joshua Burgin : What do you think? Rachel Green : Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great! Joshua Burgin : Huh. Yeah? Rachel Green : Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. Umm, so you like it? Joshua Burgin : I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think I'm gonna wear it home. Rachel Green : Great. Joshua Burgin : All right, thank you so much for all your help. Rachel Green : Sure. Joshua Burgin : Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it. Rachel Green : Yeah-eah-ha! Joshua Burgin : Thanks. Maybe I'll see in the spring, with the uh, y'know, for the uh, bathing suits. Rachel Green : Oh well, you don't want to do that now?! Joshua Burgin : Ah, that's okay, thanks. Rachel Green : Okay. Joshua Burgin : Anyway, hopefully, I'll see you around sometime. Rachel Green : Basketball! Joshua Burgin : I'm sorry. Rachel Green : I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if you're interested, just as a thank you for this week. Joshua Burgin : Wow! That would be great. Rachel Green : Really? Joshua Burgin : Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. Stephen Waltham : Good morning. Joshua Burgin : Hi! Kathy : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. I just, I just wanted to come over to-to say that I'm sorry. Y'know? I know I acted like the biggest idiot in the world, and I can completely understand why you were so upset. Kathy : Oh wow. I really wish you'd call me. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but y'know I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? 'Cause we've had our first fight, and now we can move on. Y'know, I know for me- Nick's pants? Kathy : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, for next time, what do you say? Rachel Green : I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket. Ross Geller : So the first time you ask a guy out, he-he turns you down? Rachel Green : He didn't turn me down! He's at the game isn't he? I got the date, I'm just not on it! Monica Geller : Okay, it's ready. Come on. Joey Tribbiani : What's ready? Monica Geller : Just come. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Wow! Monica! Phoebe Buffay : Great! Ross Geller : This is beautiful! Phoebe Buffay : Oh did you-what did you-did you work for two days straight? Monica Geller : Pretty much. So, what do you, what do you think of the floor? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, it looks the same. Monica Geller : You used to have carpet. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : So I made snacks. Please, just hang out okay? I'm just gonna rest my eyes just a little bit. Ross Geller : Look, Mon, do you want us to uh, come back later? Monica Geller : Oh no-no-no, stay, stay, stay, just keep talking. I'm always the hostess. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : How'd it go? Chandler Bing : Well, she wasn't sleeping with him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Chandler Bing : She is now. Ross Geller : What are you saying? Chandler Bing : I'm saying that she... is a devil woman! Y'know I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I don't hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really. Phoebe Buffay : How? How is your fault? Chandler Bing : Because, I-I should've called! Y'know if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never would've gone out with Nick, and they would've ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples! Rachel Green : Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone. Ross Geller : Well, if-if she thought they were on a break... Stephen Waltham : Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen. Rachel Green : Really? Stephen Waltham : Will you call him? Rachel Green : Yes! I will! Absolutely! Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, I'm glad. Rachel, I'd like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin'? Phoebe Buffay : So now, what is this now? Joey Tribbiani : Guggly worm. Phoebe Buffay : And this? Joey Tribbiani : Glow-pop giggly jammer. Phoebe Buffay : You make it so funny. Monica Geller : Hey umm, what's this? Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, a hunk of sandwich from last year. Ross Geller : Ohh, Geller's got one hooked! Ohh! Looks like a big one! Yeah, ohh! Ohh! It's the classic struggle between man and- Someone knocked over a lamp. Joey Tribbiani : That's all right. Hey you guys, you know what's going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, I'm doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?" #ALL# : Great! Chandler Bing : You don't have to stop having fun just because I'm here. Kathy didn't cheat on all of you. Well, except you. Monica Geller : Hey, Joey, I don't think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean it's only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week? Joey Tribbiani : Look, there's nothing I can do for him right now, he's still in his sweat pants, that's still Phase One. Y'know? I'll be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two. Monica Geller : What's Phase Two? Joey Tribbiani : Gettin' drunk and going to a strip club. Rachel Green : How does going to a strip club help him better? Ross Geller : Because there are naked ladies there. Joey Tribbiani : Which helps him get to Phase Three, picturing yourself with other women. Ross Geller : There are naked ladies there too. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Would you give me one minute!! Please. Joshua Burgin : So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week? Rachel Green : Um-hmm. There we go. There it is. Joshua Burgin : Oh! You know what I need? Rachel Green : Yeah! Joshua Burgin : Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves. Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Uhh, well let's see. You're about-well uh, this one is large. And this one- Joshua Burgin : Also large? Rachel Green : Yeah! Okay, two larges coming right up! Joshua Burgin : Okay. Stephen Waltham : Rachel! Could I have a moment? Rachel Green : Yes. Stephen Waltham : I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from London-well Shropshire really but y'know-well she's about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if you'd like to keep her company this evening? Rachel Green : Sure. You got it. Great! Stephen Waltham : Oh, good. Rachel Green : Me, Fledermaus, great. I really- Stephen Waltham : Ohh! Yes of course, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much. Joshua Burgin : So... Rachel Green : So? Joshua Burgin : Gloves? Rachel Green : Ohh! Right! Right, sorry, I'll be right back! Joshua Burgin : Uhh, actually y'know what, I kinda-I have to take off. Rachel Green : Oh. Joshua Burgin : But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight? Rachel Green : No! Nothing! Joshua Burgin : I invested in this night-club and it's opening tonight, would you like to come? Rachel Green : Yeah! That would be great! Joshua Burgin : You're into hardcore S&M right? Rachel Green : Well, I-I guess-I... Joshua Burgin : Kidding! I'm gonna get there early, but I'm going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me. Rachel Green : Yeah, great, you betcha! Stephen Waltham : I almost forget the tickets, didn't I? Rachel Green : What? Stephen Waltham : For you and Emily, tonight, Die Fledermaus. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh, right. Stephen Waltham : I think you'll like it, it has two out of the three tenors. Rachel Green : Oh yay! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I can't believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on I'm never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants! Ross Geller : Come on, man! Just-just take the sweats off. Okay? Just take 'em off and we'll have some fun. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Catch any big fish? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, you guys have no idea. #ALL# : Oh! God! Wow! Monica Geller : You stink! Ross Geller : Are you kidding?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-how's he doing? Ross Geller : He hasn't gotten out of that chair in two days. Joey Tribbiani : Hey buddy! How's it going? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, I've got to go memorise my lines. Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, Monica! Monica Geller : Uh-oh, what's the matter? Rachel Green : Ohh, it's Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So... What are you gonna do? Monica Geller : I don't know sweetie. Rachel Green : No! Help me! Monica Geller : I can't! I have to work! Rachel Green : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening. Rachel Green : Ugh! Phoebe Buffay : Unless! She wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me. Rachel Green : Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this is-I have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Y'know the "Wouldn't it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back? Monica Geller : No, Chandler's still in Phase One, and Joey's that thing you smell. Rachel Green : Ohh! Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : So.... Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Ohhhh, come on!!! Monica Geller : I think she's here. Rachel Green : No! Wait! Wait-wait! Ross, please! Ross Geller : You want me to take some girl I've never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie. Monica Geller : Ohh, she's looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you can't see people through that little hole, can you? Hello! Woman : Hello! Rachel Green : I'll be right there! Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought we've gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me? Ross Geller : All right, I'll do it. Rachel Green : Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Emily? Emily Waltham : Yes. Rachel Green : I'm Rachel Green. Emily Waltham : Thank goodness. Rachel Green : There's been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that I'm not free tonight. So... Emily Waltham : Really?! Well, that's just lovely, isn't it? I must've missed your call, even though I didn't leave the flat all day. Rachel Green : Oh well, no I... Emily Waltham : Oh, no-no-no, that's not rude! It's perfectly in keeping with a trip that I've already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone who's got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum. Monica Geller : I-I-I think you look great. Emily Waltham : Good night, it was very nice to meet you all. Rachel Green : I'll get her. Ross Geller : Please hurry. Phoebe Buffay : Don't you just love the way they talk?! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : It kicked! I think the baby kicked! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no wait, oh no, the elastic on my underwear busted. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here! Monica Geller : Oh wait, Joey, you can't go like that! You stink! Joey Tribbiani : Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I don't have time! They're just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it. Monica Geller : Yeah. Run ten blocks, that'll help the smell. Rachel Green : Hey-whoa, slow down. No, keep moving. Wow! Monica Geller : So? How did it go with Joshua last night? Rachel Green : Well, I didn't see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Rachel Green : The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! So, did you get to meet her? Rachel Green : No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "I'm Rachel Greep! I'm Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in. Monica Geller : So you hit her in the face? Rachel Green : No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I can't believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me. Phoebe Buffay : Aww, Pheebs. Rachel Green : Honey, that's you're name. Phoebe Buffay : That's short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other! Monica Geller : Hey! You're wearing pants! Chandler Bing : That's right! Where are the guys? I'm ready to get drunk and see some strippers. Monica Geller : It's 9:30 in the morning! Chandler Bing : They got a breakfast buffet. Monica Geller : Hello. Oh, hey Ross! Chandler Bing : Ooh, let me talk to him! Monica Geller : Oh-oh, my God! Chandler Bing : Well, can I just... Monica Geller : Shh!! Wait, what? Chandler Bing : She's shhing me! It's my phone and she's shhing me! Phoebe Buffay : Shhh!! Please! What's he saying? Monica Geller : He's with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont! Phoebe Buffay : What? Oh my God! Rachel Green : What? Who the hell is Emily- noooo!! Rachel Green : They're in Vermont!! How could this happen?! Chandler Bing : Ow! Rachel Green : How-how did end up in Vermont with that awful witch?! Chandler Bing : Maybe, she doesn't hit him all the time. Ross Geller : When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldn't be miserable? I'm telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person. Emily Waltham : Ross! Come quickly! There's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! Ross Geller : I've gotta go, there's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! Monica Geller : He had to go, there's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard. Rachel Green : I don't get this! She was horrible! Chandler Bing : Okay, I'm going to go stand over there. Monica Geller : Why do you care so much anyway? Rachel Green : I don't care! All right, y'know what I'm just upset that I'm getting nowhere with Joshua that-y'know what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont! Monica Geller : Well, when you first met Barry, you flitted off to Vail. Rachel Green : Oh, y'know, would you just for once, not remember every...little...thing!! Chandler Bing : So y'know, uh, when's he getting back? Monica Geller : A couple of days. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I knew something like this was going to happen. Monica Geller : What are you doing?! Chandler! You can't just go back a phase! Chandler Bing : Yes you can. You're thinking about time, you can't go back in time. Phoebe Buffay : Well, look, why don't you just, why don't you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us. Monica Geller : Yeah, come on, we can be guys! Chandler Bing : No you can't. Phoebe Buffay : Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys! Chandler Bing : You don't want to be guys, you'd be all hairy and wouldn't live as long. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know you, you just stop being such a wuss and get those off and you come with us and watch naked girls dance around!! Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Joey Tribbiani! I'm here! I'm here! The A.D : Calm down, we got time, we're running a little late. Joey Tribbiani : Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a liquorice whip! The A.D : Yeah, we loves 'em. I've never seen him with- Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad? The A.D : You. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is? The A.D : You? Joey Tribbiani : No-no, it's uh, it's Heston. The A.D : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice. The A.D : There's no way he smells, he's the only one around here with a shower in his dressing room. Joey Tribbiani : Really, a shower huh? And uh, which-which room might that be? The A.D : The one with "Heston" on it. Joey Tribbiani : Interesting. Monica Geller : Okay, I've got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties? Chandler Bing : No thanks, Mom! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, 'cause I'm pregnant. The Cigarette Smoking Guy : Well, maybe you and your baby should go to another strip club. Phoebe Buffay : Ha-ha, it's not my baby, ha-ha-ha! Monica Geller : Very good, so good. Phoebe Buffay : I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic. Rachel Green : Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didn't call. I mean you'd think he'd be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont! Phoebe Buffay : Come on! Look where you are!! Monica Geller : When you get a sec, another round of daiquiris. Phoebe Buffay : Remember, a virgin for me please. Monica Geller : Oh! And don't let me leave without getting the name of that carpet guy. Chandler Bing : Ahh, come on! Y'know what-y'know what, I think I'm just gonna go home and call Kathy. Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you think it will help. Chandler Bing : No! That was a test! In a couple of hours I'm gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, I'm gonna get so drunk, I'm gonna wanna call Janice Phoebe Buffay : You should! How is she? Chandler Bing : Ohhh!! Monica Geller : I think somebody needs another lap dance. Charlton Heston : Hello! Who's in there? Joey Tribbiani : How ya doin'? Charlton Heston : Who in the hell are you? Joey Tribbiani : I guess you wouldn't believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh? Charlton Heston : Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, I'm an actor, Joey Tribbiani, I'm doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink. Charlton Heston : You're in this picture? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, I'm one of the cops that won't work with you 'cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, I'm really sorry, but I stink! Charlton Heston : Joey, right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Charlton Heston : Every actor at one time or another-opp! Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford won't even watch himself. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no, you don't understand... Charlton Heston : Listen to me! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, yeah. Charlton Heston : I don't know one actor worth his salt that didn't say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes sir! Yes sir, I'm-I'm- Charlton Heston : Wait a minute! Take your pants. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Oh, yeah. Monica Geller : So, we did okay at the strip club, right? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade! Rachel Green : I can't believe it! He still hasn't called. Phoebe Buffay : Who, Josh? Rachel Green : It's Joshua. Monica Geller : What, he doesn't like Josh? Rachel Green : No, I don't. Chandler Bing : All right, well I'm gonna put my sweats back on. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Wait! Wait! Okay, y'know what, you were right, you were right. We really weren't great at being guys, but you know why? Because we're girls. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : And do you know what girls are really good at? Chandler Bing : Stripping! Phoebe Buffay : No, listening! Sit! Y'know, maybe it would just really, really help if you would just talk. Rachel Green : Yeah, come on! What's going in on in there? Monica Geller : Yeah. And y'know, if you wanna cry, that's okay too. Chandler Bing : Okay, look, I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave. Monica Geller : Come on! Chandler! Chandler Bing : Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldn't picture myself with any of them. Monica Geller : They really were pretty, weren't they? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one. Monica Geller : Oh, Candy! She was so spunky! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Y'know, I think if I were going to be with a woman. It'd, it'd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite. Rachel Green : See, I don't know, for me it would have to Chantal. Monica Geller : Oh, Chantal! Rachel Green : Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh... Chandler Bing : Phase Three! I just achieved Phase Three! Monica Geller : Really?! Chandler Bing : I am totally picturing you with all those women! Monica Geller : That's-that's not Phase Three. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm there too! Rachel Green : Well, are we all together? Like in a group? Chandler Bing : Stop it! You're killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! What is that? What is that? Chandler Bing : Where I don't want to have a relationship ever! I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!! Chandler Bing : Come on, let me see that smile. Joey Tribbiani : I don't wanna. Chandler Bing : Please? Joey Tribbiani : I wanted to go to the strip club! Chandler Bing : I know, I know, but you're gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, all right. Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey-ooh so, how was Vermont? Ross Geller : Emily is...incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. Oh! And you! Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, hey! Ross Geller : Hey! You were so right! Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Uh, what you said, about us being in a place where we could finally be happy for each other. Rachel Green : Oh, hmm. Ross Geller : I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasn't quite there. Y'know, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy... Rachel Green : Joshua. Ross Geller : Joshua...guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda...y'know. Rachel Green : Yeah, I... Ross Geller : But now! I'm there! I'm totally there! I'm-I'm finally where you are! Rachel Green : Oh, thank goodness! Ross Geller : Yeah, and-and thank you for Emily. Rachel Green : Oh, no problem. I'm so glad I could help. Happy for you. Ross Geller : Happy for you. Rachel Green : No, happy for you! Chandler Bing : All right ladies, here's what we're gonna do. You are gonna take off my clothes. You two, go get the oils. And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandler's the king! Chandler's the king!" Phoebe Buffay : I-I wanna be with her, I like her. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's fine! Go with your instincts, go with your instincts. Monica Geller : Wait, now, what am I doing again? Chandler Bing : Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment! The Cigarette Guy : Hi, I'm Joshua, I'm here to pick up Rachel. Rachel Green : No-no-no, that' not Joshua. Chandler Bing : What do you want from me, I've never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, I'm sorry you can't stay, but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. What are you doing? All right, listen, I've got to wake up! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here! Rachel Green : Chandler, there's a guy right over there. Chandler Bing : That's a mailman! That's our mailman! Hi. How are ya? Rachel Green : Chandler, don't worry! This doesn't make you any less of a guy! That does! What am I sitting on? I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off. Chandler Bing : Hey, you know who used to have nails like that? Rachel Green : Hmm. Woman : OH...MY...GAWD!! Monica Geller : Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do? Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, Nothing. Monica Geller : Didn't it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did? Joey Tribbiani : I know what it did! Nothing. Monica Geller : They wouldn't have put it there if it didn't do something! How can you not care? Joey Tribbiani : Like this. Rachel Green : Well, here's another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! It flushes it. Rachel Green : Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it? Chandler Bing : Hello! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ah!! Rachel Green : Guess who we ran into today?! Monica Geller : Janice?! Chandler Bing : Isn't this amazing? Monica Geller : How have you been? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh well, I'm divorced. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh, wow. Janice Litman Goralnik : Yeah, I'm riding the alimony pony. Joey Tribbiani : And there it is. Janice Litman Goralnik : I just came up to say, "Hi!" Hi! And you, sweetie, I'll see you tonight. Chandler Bing : Okay. Bye. Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye. Chandler Bing : Bye. Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye. Chandler Bing : Bye. Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye. Chandler Bing : B-bye! Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye-bye. Chandler Bing : Bye. I can't stand the woman! Phoebe Buffay : What?! I thought you were crazy about her! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personality-Well, they're all back! Y'know? And she's picked up like nine new ones! Joey Tribbiani : So what are you doing bringing her here?! There's people here! Chandler Bing : Don't worry about it. I'm taking care of it tonight. Rachel Green : You are not. You have never been able to break up with her. Chandler Bing : Well, I don't have to break up with her this time. We're not involved! I'm going to do a pre-emptive strike! I'm going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. I'm tellin' ya! Emily Waltham : I can't believe you really walk alone here! I mean, you hear such stories about New York. Ross Geller : No, it's really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe. Ross Geller : Help! Help!! Help! Help!! Emily Waltham : No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. Liam, Devon, this is Ross. Devon : Hey, mate. Liam : How are ya man? Ross Geller : Oh hey, that was a good one, huh? Help! Help! Emily Waltham : So how are you? I've been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived but umm, well, I've been rather busy. Devon : Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert? Emily Waltham : Oh my God. I think you're right. Liam : Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning. Emily Waltham : Oh, Liam. Ross Geller : Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or something-or should I call it football? Devon : We were playing rugby. Liam : In fact we're playing a game at the park tomorrow. You're welcome to play too if you want. Emily Waltham : Ross play rugby? I don't think so. Ross Geller : What's ah, what's so funny about that? Emily Waltham : Well I mean, you're American to start with. You don't even have rugby here. Ross Geller : Well, we didn't have freedom here until 1776, either so... Devon : So good then! We'll see you at Riverside Park at 2:00! Cheers! Liam : Cheers! Ross Geller : Cheers! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh boy, I just love to sing! Chandler Bing : Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, look at us! Who would've thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. Chandler Bing : Okay, we have to talk. I'm just getting out of a very serious relationship... Janice Litman Goralnik : I know! And I'm just getting out of a marriage, I mean talk about meant to be! Chandler Bing : Right! I just think that this is happening too soon. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time. Chandler Bing : I hear ya. But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh no! Where to? Too Paris? Chandler Bing : No! No! Not, Paris. Chandler Bing : Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? Yemen. That's right, yes, I'm being transferred to Yemen! Janice Litman Goralnik : When? Chandler Bing : I don't know exactly. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes. Chandler Bing : But I do know that it's some time tomorrow. Monica Geller : Done? Phoebe Buffay : Yep! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! What's up? Monica Geller : This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them don't work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is. Joey Tribbiani : I bet I stopped listening before you did. Rachel Green : Y'know, you-you also could've used uh, lamps and then followed the light. Monica Geller : Yeah, well, I'm using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? Rachel Green : It's coming from Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, that's so freaky! Turn him off!! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining. Ross Geller : Oh, just hold on a second. I'm watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I don't know what the big deal is. I'm man enough to play this sport. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you're not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hey there Ross! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Janice. Chandler Bing : Y'know uh, you didn't really have to help me pack. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didn't really leave me much choice. Did you? Chandler Bing : Well, I-I thought I did but, I-I guess I did not! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm packing. Y'know I'm-I'm packing 'cause I'm moving to Yemen tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks for telling me! Chandler Bing : I'm only going to pretend I'm moving to Yemen, it's the only way I can get rid off her. Joey Tribbiani : Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler! Come on, I'm gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. It's a real space saver. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, I do that 'cause it makes me look taller. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay, Chandler, come on! Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey, trade lives with me! Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Man look at this! Ross, I can't believe you said you'd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is! Ross Geller : Hey, I can handle it! All right? Rachel Green : Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad. Ross Geller : That's 'cause-'cause you're mom's dog kept-kept looking at me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. That's called a scrum, okay? It's kinda like a huddle. Ross Geller : And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle? Joey Tribbiani : Ross! They're gonna kill you! Phoebe Buffay : Well, why are you doing this anyway? Ross Geller : Well, you should've seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, he's like Joe Rugby. Phoebe Buffay : You're kidding! And he plays rugby?! That's so funny. Ohh! I see how you did that. All right. Ross Geller : Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So I'm gonna show her how tough I really am! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right, you are a tough guy. You're the toughest palaeontologist I know. Joey Tribbiani : All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! It's not like he's...Chandler! Chandler Bing : Thanks! Ross Geller : Look, don't worry about me. Okay? I'll just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. I'll uh, I'll be that guy right out of the circle. #ALL# : Oh! Rachel Green : Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin' at him. Joey Tribbiani : Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy , and that guy . And that one-Dude! They're all huge! Ross Geller : They don't look any bigger than me! Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe that's because you're closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are. Emily Waltham : I'm just going to say hi to the lads. All right? Ross Geller : All right. Emily Waltham : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Whoa! I kinda liked it. Ross Geller : Okay, I know what I have to do. I've got to go Red Ross. Y'know, Red Ross! Joey Tribbiani : I totally don't know what you're talking about. Ross Geller : Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!! Joey Tribbiani : No. Ross Geller : You'll see. Emily Waltham : Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, it's his first time. Liam : You don't say! Emily Waltham : Good luck, babe. Liam : Ross! Ross! Come on! Get in here! Ross! Come on! Liam : Ross, come on! Get in the bloody scrum! Ross, get in! Ross Geller : JOEY!!!!!! Rachel Green : You...are...not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened? Monica Geller : He asked you out?! Rachel Green : No. But I was showing him some cufflinks and I felt his pulse. Monica Geller : Saucy! Rachel Green : What are these? Monica Geller : Electrical plans for the building. Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay should I be scared? Monica Geller : I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours. Rachel Green : Wow! If only more people knew. Chandler Bing : Y'know you, really didn't have to take me to the airport. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh please. Every moment is precious. Y'know? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends don't really seem to care too much that you're leaving. Chandler Bing : Well, we're really not that close. Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then. Janice Litman Goralnik : On no! No! It's not good-bye, I'm not leaving until you get on that plane. Chandler Bing : Okay. Then I guess it's just, wait here then. Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen. Ticket Counter Attendant : One ticket to Yemen? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, no. No, no, no, I just, I just need a pretend ticket. Ticket Counter Attendant : I'm sorry sir, I don't understand. Chandler Bing : What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with? Ticket Counter Attendant : Are you travelling with a child? Chandler Bing : No. All right, y'know what, she's gonna think that I'm handing you a credit card, but what I'm really gonna do is hand you a library card. Ticket Counter Attendant : Ah, sir a ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we don't take library cards. Janice Litman Goralnik : What's the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay? Chandler Bing : American Express? Emily Waltham : I can't believe they're doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him! Phoebe Buffay : No offence but, y'know sometimes it's hard to understand you, y'know with the accent, so... Emily Waltham : That's just halftime, there's more of this. Ross Geller : Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game! Emily Waltham : Right. Ross Geller : Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water? Emily Waltham : Okay. Ross Geller : Thanks. I-I think I'm dying. I really do. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, poor baby. Ross Geller : Tell my son that I love him. Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun! Emily Waltham : Ross, they are killing you out there! Ross Geller : That's not true! Phoebe Buffay : She's right! You have to stop! Ross Geller : What? No! No, I'm not stopping. I'm Red Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, if you go back out there, you're gonna be Dead Ross! Ross Geller : I don't care! I am not quitting! I insist on finishing this game! Emily Waltham : All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you. Ross Geller : No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything. Emily Waltham : No. That's not what I'm saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain. Ross Geller : I like that. Emily Waltham : Yeah? Listen closely, Devon has got a weak ankle. Ross Geller : Huh? Emily Waltham : One swift kick and he'll back off. Ross Geller : All right, bad ankle, got it! Emily Waltham : And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesn't wear a cup. Ross Geller : Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay! Emily Waltham : And uh, Liam, Liam's got bad knees. You hit him right and he'll go down like a lamp. Ross Geller : But-but, Liam's on my team. Emily Waltham : I don't care! You just get him! Ross Geller : I'm gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! Joey Tribbiani : The Red Ross! Okay. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : What-what are-what are these? Monica Geller : Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought they'd brighten up the place. They do don't you think? Monica Geller : No-no-no, no! Monica Geller : I know that there's no hole there, I just really liked that picture. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Look at this! Monica Geller : Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something! Rachel Green : I don't care! The wires have come loose in your head! Monica Geller : I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did. Rachel Green : And did you?! Monica Geller : No. It disappears back there behind that baseboard. For a minute there, I thought it went downstairs. Monica Geller : But it didn't. Say hello to Mrs. Chatracus. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Mrs. Chatracus : Hello darling. Rachel Green : Hello, Mrs. Chatracus. Phoebe Buffay : Now, are you sure you don't want to go see a doctor? Ross Geller : Oh no! That-that'll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Y'know what? I'm buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, it's in my pocket. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure. Ross Geller : No, not you. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, look, your eye's still popping out a little, I'm gonna go get some ice. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! Emily Waltham : You were amazing out there. Ross Geller : Oh, I kinda was, wasn't I? Emily Waltham : Oh my God! Ross Geller : I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I haven't done that since I was four and I washed my dad's Porsche with rocks. Emily Waltham : You really enjoyed yourself didn't you? Ross Geller : Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody nose-I mean I-I'm not proud of it but, I really am. And it's all because of you, wonderful, amazing you. Emily Waltham : I think you've got concussion. Ross Geller : No, no, I'm serious. Thank you. Emily Waltham : You're welcome. I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? Ross Geller : It's worth the pain. Y'know what, you know what? It's not. Ticket Counter Attendant : This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen. Chandler Bing : Well, I-I guess I gotta go. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, my Bing-a-ling. I'll wait for you. Do you even know how long you're going to be gone? Chandler Bing : Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh. Well, I'll right you everyday. 15 Yemen Road, Yemen. Chandler Bing : Okay, good-bye. Good-bye. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler? Chandler Bing : No! Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane! Janice Litman Goralnik : No! No! I wanna see you take-off. Chandler Bing : Well, I then guess I'm going to Yemen! I'm going to Yemen! When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you? Monica Geller : All right. The super couldn't figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldn't figure out what it did. I've had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up. Rachel Green : Thank God. Monica Geller : I guess Joey was right, it does nothing. Phoebe Buffay : See? I'm doing it. I am totally doing it. I lost it. Monica Geller : What is it hon? Phoebe Buffay : I-I can't find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! I'm telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cake-ooh! Cake! No. Monica Geller : Aww, honey I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : God! Ooh! What is that smell? It's coming from the bathroom. Ooh! Chandler Bing : Wow! Pregnancy does give you some weird cravings. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : It's me. It's Phoebe. Listen there's something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good? Joey Tribbiani : Is it the shampoo? It's guava. Phoebe Buffay : No! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Wait-wait! Is it my bologna sandwich? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Yes. Yes. I can't believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I can't eat meat! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, wait-wait! Maybe it's a pickle?! Chandler Bing : What are you writing? Rachel Green : Well, Joshua's coming in tomorrow and since I don't have the guts to ask him out, I'm going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you never go out of style-what did you throw away? Chandler Bing : Hi guys! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what have you guys been up too? Ross Geller : Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum. Chandler Bing : Without me?! Emily Waltham : My uncle dragged us there. But, it actually it turned out to be really interesting. Ross Geller : Yeah. Emily Waltham : They were so ornate and beautiful, I mean look at that! Monica Geller : I don't know how museums work in England but, here, you're not supposed to take stuff. Emily Waltham : I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. It's a joke. Ross Geller : Bye. Emily Waltham : Right, I've got to be off, I'll see ya. Buh-bye then. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You guys seem to be having a good time. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, she's-she's amazing. And-and she's so much fun. And! Y'know what? When I'm with her, I'm fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. She's leaving in two days, I don't have to do it. Monica Geller : Oh no, two days, you must be bummed. Ross Geller : Yeah, she's got to go back to London. But you know what? I've been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and that's it. Y'know. Joey Tribbiani : Hey that's what all my relationships are like. Chandler Bing : Yes, but in Ross's case, they both know in two weeks that's it. Ross Geller : Pheebs! #ALL# : Hey! Ross Geller : Hello! Hello! Phoebe Buffay : Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, y'know? And I got nauseous. Chandler Bing : Maybe that's because soy-burgers suck! Phoebe Buffay : Being pregnant is tough on your tummy. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant lady glow. Phoebe Buffay : That's sweat. You throw up all morning, you'll have that glow too. Joshua Burgin : Okay! Rachel Green : Oh, here's that trench-coat that you wanted. Joshua Burgin : Oh great! Wow! Yeah, it's comfortable. Rachel Green : Yeah? Joshua Burgin : Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. Rachel Green : Oh no-no, no-no, they don't want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store. Joshua Burgin : Why not?! Rachel Green : Well, that's because of a lot of... Joshua Burgin : Y'know, they ruin it for everybody. Rachel Green : I know! Joshua Burgin : Y'know, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night. Rachel Green : Oh? Joshua Burgin : Yeah, it was my first date since the uh, since the divorce. Rachel Green : Well, congratulations, so do you love her? Joshua Burgin : No, no, no, she's nice but, y'know, it just it made me realize that I'm just not, I'm just not ready to be dating, y'know? Rachel Green : Huh. Well, uh, that's uh, that's interesting. Joshua Burgin : Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that? Rachel Green : Oh, it's just an anti-theft device. Joshua Burgin : Then uh, what's-what's this? Rachel Green : You need that, you need that too 'cause obviously, a thief could just tear this up. Rachel Green : Oops, sorry. Listen, we-we have to have a party tonight! Actually, we have to have one in five minutes, so everybody cancel your plans. Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what' going on? Rachel Green : We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But it's actually for Joshua. Look, he said he's not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! Ross Geller : Well, as much as I'd like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I aren't going to be here. All right? I mean, she's going to come by first to say good-bye, and then I've got a whole special evening planned. So I'm sorry, no party. Joey Tribbiani : Awwww! Emily Waltham : Hello? Rachel Green : Surprise!!! Chandler Bing : Surprise!! Emily Waltham : No one's ever thrown me a surprise party before! Rachel Green : Well, it was all Ross's idea. Emily Waltham : You're so sweet! And I'm so surprised! Ross Geller : You really didn't know? Chandler Bing : Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? Rachel Green : Uhh, because I'm trying to play hard to get. Oh, quick he's looking over here, say something funny. Chandler Bing : Like what? Joey Tribbiani : What-what-what is so funny? Chandler Bing : I said, "Like what?" Joey Tribbiani : Now that's a thinker. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what, y'know what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. Okay. Okay. Hi! Joshua Burgin : Hi! Rachel Green : Care for a cherry? Joshua Burgin : Oh, no thanks. Rachel Green : No? Y'know, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue. Joshua Burgin : You okay? You all right? Ross Geller : So we should probably get going soon. Emily Waltham : Oh, but the party's only just getting started! Ross Geller : Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks in 15 minutes and then y'know, then The Plaza for dinner. Emily Waltham : So why did you plan a party at the same time? Ross Geller : No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. It's usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, I'm so surprised-good-bye!" Emily Waltham : But Ross, I'm such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties. Ross Geller : Monica said that did she? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that? Joey Tribbiani : A little salami. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh yeah! Then umm, what goes on top of the salami? Joey Tribbiani : Pastrami. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, yeah. You're a genius. Rachel Green : Oh, could somebody give me a hand with this zipper? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Up! Monica Geller : You changed? Rachel Green : Yeah, I did. I needed my lucky dress. Monica Geller : And lucky means, more cleavage? Chandler Bing : Does for me. Rachel Green : Ohh, God! Look at him, he's so cute. I wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him! How can I kiss him and not letting him know that I like him? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I know how you can get him, take off your bra. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : There was a seen in Footloose... Chandler Bing : Flashdance. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, yeah, with that-that uh, plumber girl... Chandler Bing : She was a welder. Joey Tribbiani : What? Were you like in the movie, or... Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy. Monica Geller : Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe. Rachel Green : It's not Christmas! Monica Geller : Or Spin the Bottle? Rachel Green : He's not 11! Emily Waltham : Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you. Rachel Green : What? You're leaving?! Ross Geller : Yes, we have something we have to get to. Joshua Burgin : Uhh, yeah, I think I'm going to take-off too. Rachel Green : No! You guys can't leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned! Ross Geller : What big thing? Rachel Green : So, Spin The Bottle works like this I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunther's face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first? Emily Waltham : I'll go. #ALL# : Yay! Joey Tribbiani : Welcome to America. Monica Geller : Two in a row! You've got to use your tongues now! Rachel Green : Yay! Emily! Chandler Bing : What are the odds? What are the odds? Ross Geller : Okay, that-that's enough! Y'know, let's, let's let someone else play. Joey Tribbiani : If you didn't want to play, why did you come to the party? Rachel Green : Okay, my turn!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! The baby just kicked! #ALL# : Ohh! Rachel Green : It's okay! It's okay! It kicked once, it'll kick again! #ALL# : Oh my God! Rachel Green : All right, well, everybody just remember where they were sitting. Rachel Green : Just a bug. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know it doesn't matter how much I'm craving it. Y'know why I'm never gonna eat meat? Because it's murder, cold blooded murder. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : There's a Phoebe on my sandwich! Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe, what-what are you doing?! Phoebe Buffay : I can't help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat. Joey Tribbiani : All right look, y'know how-y'know how when you're dating someone and you don't want to cheat on them, unless it's with someone really hot? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, totally! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If you're going to do something wrong, do it right! Joey Tribbiani : Feel better now? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but at what cost? Six more months, three meals a day, I'm gonna eat like, y'know millions of cows. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I eat a lot of meat right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Well, suppose until the baby's born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-you'd just be eating my animals. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, I can't believe you would do that for me. Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. There's no meat in beer, right? Ross Geller : Okay, we could still make dinner if we skipped the appetisers and asked for our check right away. Emily Waltham : But, we can't go now. It looks like Rachel's gonna put on a skit. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Have you lost your mind? Rachel Green : No-n-n-n-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasn't working out to well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed. Monica Geller : Rachel-Rachel-Rachel I-I cannot, I can't let-, actually I kinda want to see what happens. Joshua Burgin : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Joshua Burgin : Nice uh, costume. Rachel Green : Ohh, yeah, well I wanted to give Emily a big American good-bye cheer. So okay! Ready! Okay! Gimme an 'E!' #ALL# : E! Rachel Green : Gimme an 'M!' #ALL# : M! Rachel Green : Gimme an 'I!' #ALL# : I! Rachel Green : Gimme an 'L!' #ALL# : L! Rachel Green : Gimme a 'Y!' #ALL# : Y! Rachel Green : What do you get? Emily!! Emil-Whoa!! Okay! So that's me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! Joey Tribbiani : Are you all right? Rachel Green : I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm just losing a tooth, it's no big deal. I have a dentist! Y'know. I'm gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. What do I do now? What do I do now? Monica Geller : I think you're done. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, time to take off the bra. Joshua Burgin : Umm, that was really great, but I-I gotta take-off actually. Joey Tribbiani : Take the bra off. Rachel Green : All right, come on, let's go get your coat. Joshua Burgin : Okay. Gunther : Rachel is my girlfriend. Joshua Burgin : So, this was uh, really fun. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah! Real fun. Y'know, this bra... Really, bothers me. Y'know, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, y'know what they'd say? Wanna hear some memories? Joshua Burgin : Need uh, need a little hand there. Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no! No, I got this all under control. Joshua Burgin : You really don't seem like you do. That's... Rachel Green : Ughhhh!! Forget it! This is, this is not how this is supposed to happen. Joshua Burgin : Well, what was supposed to happen? Rachel Green : Can you not look at me when I say this? I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you. Joshua Burgin : Huh. Oh, boy! Uhh, I-I don't wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you. Rachel Green : Well, I'm sorry, I thought you needed them! Joshua Burgin : No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you. Rachel Green : Why?! Joshua Burgin : Because I-I like you. Rachel Green : You like me? Joshua Burgin : Yeah! I mean you're-you're beautiful and smart and sophisticated-a lot of this isn't based on tonight. Rachel Green : Yeah but-but-but you liked me! Oh my God, I can't believe this, all this time, I liked you and you liked me! Joshua Burgin : But... Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no don't say but! No-no, but's never good! Let's just leave it at, you like me and I like you. Joshua Burgin : Okay uh, however... Rachel Green : Oh, now see that's a fancy but. Joshua Burgin : My marriage like just ended, and I'm really not ready to get into anything yet. Rachel Green : But.... Joshua Burgin : I'm sorry, I, I just need a little time. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshua's gone so you and Emily are free to go. Ross Geller : That's okay. She's still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, it's too late to do any of the things I had planned, so... Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, I'm sorry. I completely ruined your evening. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself. Ross Geller : Helps a little. Rachel Green : Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser? Ross Geller : Yeah, have a seat. Rachel Green : I'm so sorry. Ross Geller : That's okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didn't want it to end this way, y'know? Rachel Green : Well, maybe you didn't want it to end? Ross Geller : What do you mean? Rachel Green : You seem to really like her. Ross Geller : Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, y'know no commitment. Rachel Green : Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica's photo albums, I mean you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks. Ross Geller : You think? Rachel Green : Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and you're sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip. Ross Geller : Hey, you're right. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Thanks. What photo album was it? Rachel Green : I don't know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Those weren't albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! Rachel Green : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : You're a pathetic loser, right? Chandler Bing : Oh-ho, yeah! Rachel Green : Sit! Joshua Burgin : Hi. Rachel Green : Oh my gosh, Joshua! Joshua Burgin : All those things I said about not being ready... Rachel Green : They're not true? Joshua Burgin : No, they're-they're all true. Rachel Green : Oh. Joshua Burgin : But... Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, I love that but. Rachel Green : You wanna go inside and have some coffee? Joshua Burgin : Yeah. Rachel Green : Okay. Every time. Joey Tribbiani : Oooh, what you got there? Phoebe Buffay : Pastrami. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Hey! Y'know what goes good with that? Phoebe Buffay : Hm-mm, corn beef. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, I was gonna say bologna, but that's much better. How about a little of that smoked turkey? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh mama! Uh when-when is the baby due? Phoebe Buffay : Six months. Joey Tribbiani : Ugh. Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right? Phoebe Buffay : Not if I get there first. Mr. Treeger : Ohhh, man!! Joey Tribbiani : What is that? Chandler Bing : Treeger's snaking the shower drain. Mr. Treeger : What in the name of hell? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe he found you flip-flop. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I must've hit something on the remote. Chandler Bing : Do we pay for this? Joey Tribbiani : No, we didn't even pay our cable bill-maybe this is how they punish us. Chandler Bing : Maybe we shouldn't pay our phone bill-free phone sex. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe we shouldn't pay our gas bill? Mr. Treeger : Whoa, hey, that lady's all kinds of naked. Chandler Bing : Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just, came on! Mr. Treeger : Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money. Chandler Bing : Like finding money with naked people on it! Mr. Treeger : Then I made the mistake of turning off the TV, I never got it back again. And I'm sad. Joey Tribbiani : Why would he turn off the TV? Rachel Green : All right, y'know what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no-no! Chandler Bing : We don't know what could make this go away. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV! Chandler Bing : And no one touches the air around the TV! Joey Tribbiani : Imagine a protective porn bubble if you will, okay? Monica Geller : Well at least, I'm going to mute it. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no! Chandler Bing : We still have porn. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Honey, what are you doing? That's too heavy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Give it here. Oh, God. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, I'm getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Y'know, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. Chandler Bing : Or a job where you don't have to carry a table. Phoebe Buffay : You mean like a doctor? Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! You're blocking the porn! Look out! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Oh my. Oh, that reminds me, I have to see my OB-GYN today. Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : So uh, Emily just went to the airport. Monica Geller : Oh. Why didn't you take her? Ross Geller : Eh, her-her uncle already had planned on doing it. And y'know, we-we said our good-byes this morning, so... Monica Geller : You must feel horrible. Hey! The guys have free porn! Ross Geller : Nah. Monica Geller : Hey, cheer up! You're gonna see her again, right? Ross Geller : Well I, that's the thing, I don't know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Let's just enjoy..." Monica Geller : No-no-no, don't-don't do the accent. You've got to see her again. Ross Geller : And why do you care so much? Monica Geller : Because! You could get to live out my fantasy! Ross Geller : You had fantasies about Emily? Monica Geller : No! Y'know, the fantasy! Meet someone from a strange land, fall in madly love, and spend the rest of your lives together. Ross Geller : Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid? Monica Geller : Yeah that, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything! Ross Geller : Ahh. Monica Geller : Do you love her? Ross Geller : We said it was only going to be two weeks, y'know? Monica Geller : You love her! Ross Geller : What-what is love really? Monica Geller : Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. You're probably just gonna catch her just as she's about to go to the gate. You're gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And she's gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud. Ross Geller : I am a good kisser. Monica Geller : Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in... I've been watching too much porn. Rachel Green : Is that the heartbeat? The Doctor : That's it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh wow! This is so cool. The Doctor : Have we talked about the possibility of multiple births? Phoebe Buffay : Why don't take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, I'll hold onto your card, okay? The Doctor : No, I'm getting three separate heartbeats. Phoebe Buffay : Three? You guys were worried I wouldn't even have one! The Doctor : Doctors are wrong all the time. Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah. Rachel Green : Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?! The Doctor : Definitely. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months I'm going to have three full grown babies just walkin' around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And it's gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out! The Doctor : Actually, giving birth to three babies isn't that different from giving birth to one. Phoebe Buffay : What do you know?! Alice Knight : Oh-oh, Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! Hi! Alice Knight : Hi! So, how did it go at the doctors? Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, okay, hey, y'know how when you're umm, you're walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, that's nice?" Frank Buffay Jr. : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, yeah well, good news, you're going to have three babies. Alice Knight : Three babies? Frank Buffay Jr. : I finally got my band! Alice Knight : We're gonna have a big family, I've always wanted a big family! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, I'm so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked. Frank Buffay Jr. : Why would we be freaked? Phoebe Buffay : No, no maybe 'cause it's harder to raise them, and the added expense, and... Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh. Alice Knight : Right. Phoebe Buffay : No, back to happy. Back to happy! Alice Knight : No-no-no, no, it's going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Y'know it'll-it'll be like my very own little sweatshop. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, I've been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job. Alice Knight : No, Frank. Phoebe Buffay : No you can't quit college! No! You're in college? Really? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, refrigerator college. Alice Knight : Yeah. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, y'know when we found out we were going to have a baby, y'know I figured y'know like I should y'know have like a career-and I love refrigerators! Phoebe Buffay : You can't give up on your dream. Frank Buffay Jr. : No, it's okay. We're-we're gonna have three kids! And that's-that's a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money. Ticket Agent : This is the boarding call for Flight 009. Ross Geller : Emily! Emily Waltham : Oh my God! What are you doing here? Ross Geller : I just, I had to see you one more time before you took-off. Emily Waltham : You are so sweet. Ross Geller : That's, that's, that's a big candy bar. I had the most amazing time with you. Emily Waltham : Me too. Ticket Agent : This is the final boarding call for Flight 009. Emily Waltham : Well, that' me. Here, have this. I'm only allowed one piece of carryon anyway. Ross Geller : Wait uh, listen. I-I, I have to tell you something. Umm, I've been thinking, I'm just gonna come out and say it. Okay? I-I-I ah, I-I think I love you. Emily Waltham : Oh. Thank you. Ross Geller : That's no problem. Rachel Green : What's that song? It has been in my head all day long. Chandler Bing : It's the theme from Good Will Humping. Rachel Green : Y'know who doesn't even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah right. Rachel Green : No, he told me. He prefers to leave certain things to the imagination. Chandler Bing : Oh-oh, yeah, and did he also say that ah, some of the dialogue was corny and that he actually found it was funny and not sexy? Rachel Green : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he likes porn. Monica Geller : Where ya going? Rachel Green : I'm going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. Hey, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : How did it go with Frank and Alice? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you about, 'cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me. Chandler Bing : They don't really talk to us about that kind of stuff. I can get you some free white out though. Monica Geller : Ohh! Did you do what I said? Did-did-did you tell her? Ross Geller : I did. Monica Geller : And well, what did she say? Ross Geller : Thank you. Monica Geller : Oh, you're totally welcome! What'd she say? Ross Geller : She said, "Thank you." I said, "I love you." And she said, "Thank you." Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa, wait a minute, did you say, you love her? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?! Ross Geller : What do I do now? Joey Tribbiani : You play hard to get. Ross Geller : She already lives in London. Joey Tribbiani : Then you go to Tokyo. Chandler Bing : All right look, forget it, forget it. You told her you love her, it's over. Monica Geller : It is not over! You're over! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : You know! Chandler Bing : Okay. Good one. Monica Geller : It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldn't, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! But if she doesn't call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, y'know just to she what's going on, and, and she says she'll call me back, but then she doesn't. Then it's over. Joey Tribbiani : Way to be strong, man! Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi! Listen, can we watch cartoons on your television? We need a porn break. We spent the last two hours watching In & Out & In, Again. Rachel Green : Well, so, why don't you just turn it off? Chandler Bing : Because then we would be the guys who turned off free porn. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, good, you're hear! Okay. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : Well, what-what 'cha got there? Phoebe Buffay : Oh this, well I'm glad you asked. Now, don't you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? Ahh! Now, I know what you're thinking... Chandler Bing : Pregnant Woman Slays Four? Monica Geller : Phoebe, they didn't make you pay for those knives, did they? Phoebe Buffay : No! Monica Geller : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel Green : Honey, you're not gonna make enough money to help Frank and Alice just by selling knives. Phoebe Buffay : No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan. Chandler Bing : What's the second part of your plan? Phoebe Buffay : My Saturn dealership. Ross Geller : Hello? Emily Waltham : Ross. Ross Geller : Emily, hi! Uh, how-how was you flight? Emily Waltham : It was dreadful. I felt terrible about how I acted when you said those wonderful things. Ross Geller : No, no, that-that, that's all right. Umm, I'm just glad you called. Emily Waltham : Ross umm, there's something that I've got to tell you, there's-there's someone else. Ross Geller : Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America? Ross Geller : She doesn't know which one of us she wants, me or this Colin guy. Monica Geller : This isn't how it's supposed to go, there can't be another guy. Ross Geller : Well... Monica Geller : Of course there's another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love! Ross Geller : I'm not proving anything. Okay, I'm done listening to you. If I hadn't let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place, I never would've put my fist through the wall! Chandler Bing : You put your fist through the wall? Ross Geller : No, I missed and hit the door. But, it opened really hard! Monica Geller : You have to go to London! Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Yeah, you have to go fight for her! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. 'Cause you already told her you love her and she didn't say it back, then she called you and told you that there's another guy, so yeah, go to London that'll scare her! Monica Geller : When Rachel was with Paulo, what did you do? Ross Geller : I made fun of his accent. Monica Geller : You sat back and let him have her, you didn't fight at all. Am I right? Do you want the same thing to happen with Emily? Ross Geller : No. Monica Geller : All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London! Ross Geller : Really? Monica Geller : Come on! Surprise her! Show up at her doorstep! Don't let her go without a fight! Ross Geller : All right. All right, I'm gonna do it! Monica Geller : All right. Ross Geller : I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to London and I'm going to fight for her. Monica Geller : Okay, good luck! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross! If you're going to the airport, could you pick me up another one of those Toblerone bars? Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! I'm gonna open up my own massage place and Frank's gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesn't have to quit school! Monica Geller : That's sounds great, but how are you going to afford it? Rachel Green : Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised... Phoebe Buffay : I'm telling it! I'm telling it! Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. You know how people need transportation, but they also need massages to help them relax so I just figured we could combine the two, okay, I give the massages and Frank drives! I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back, and you know what I've got? Chandler Bing : A place where no one will ever get out alive? Phoebe Buffay : No! Think about it, it's a taxi that people take when they need to relax, it's... Rachel Green : Relaxi-Taxi! Phoebe Buffay : The name was my favourite part! Rachel Green : Well, well I can up with it! Phoebe Buffay : YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! That's not good. Rachel Green : Well, I... Monica Geller : Hello. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised? Ross Geller : No, because she hasn't come home yet. And she hasn't been home all night! She's obviously staying with that other guy, and I'm the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment! Monica Geller : All right. When is, when is the next flight out? Ross Geller : About four hours. Monica Geller : Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesn't show up by then, then just come on home. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, tell him about Relaxi-Taxi, and-and ask him if he thinks that's better than Relaxi Cab. Rachel Green : Okay, it's not Relaxi Cab. It's Relaxicab, like taxicab. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that is better. Chandler Bing : Are we in London? Monica Geller : What are you doing here? You can't be here! Emily Waltham : I've uh, I've come to talk to Ross. Emily Waltham : What? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing. No, nothing. Emily Waltham : I was going to call him, but... Monica Geller : Oh, you came to tell him you love him! I knew it! I was right! I'm right, right? Emily Waltham : I'd really rather talk to him. Monica Geller : Oh. Emily Waltham : I uh, I've been to his apartment and he wasn't there, and uh. I need to talk to him, so do you have any idea where he is? Emily Waltham : Ross, are you there? Ross, I don't know if you can hear this but... I'm gonna talk anyway, uh, I'm in the States with you sister and your friends and it's all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell you-Yes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you. Ross Geller : I love you too! I'm, I'm gonna call you right now from the phone booth! You can't hear me. Emily Waltham : I wish I could know if you'd heard any of that. I suppose I've either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if you're listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose there's not much chance you did heard that, and there's the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. Hello. Ross Geller : Hi. Emily Waltham : Ross, I love you! Ross Geller : Ohh! Thank you. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didn't ask me to go do it with her in the vault. Joey Tribbiani : Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves! Chandler Bing : What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?" Joey Tribbiani : Noo! Nothing! Chandler Bing : Y'know what, we have to turn off the porn. Joey Tribbiani : I think you're right. Chandler Bing : All right, ready? Joey Tribbiani : One. Chandler Bing : Two. Both : Three. Joey Tribbiani : That's kinda nice. Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's kinda a relief. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You wanna see if we still have it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : FREE PORN!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : We have free porn here!!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum. Phoebe Buffay : Ha-ha. No, it's just I'm so pregnant that I-my guitar doesn't fit anymore. So I thought 'til I'm not, I'm just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool! Chandler Bing : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Listen. Listen. Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Joey Tribbiani : Wow, Pheebs! That sounds great! Phoebe Buffay : I know! I know, and I've only been playing for like an hour! Alice Knight : Phoebe! Phoebe! Hi! Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! What are you doing here? Alice Knight : Umm, actually, I came down to ask you a big favour. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, don't tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my uterus. Alice Knight : No. No. No. Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR. Chandler Bing : Wouldn't that be Frank the III? Alice Knight : Don't get me started. Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! That's so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar. Alice Knight : You think about it. Emily Waltham : I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you don't think your son will think it's yours and be horribly traumatised? Ross Geller : Hey, if mommy can have a wife, daddy can have a bra. Emily Waltham : Ohh, it's time to go. Ross Geller : Oh, no-no-no, see, that-that clock's a little fast, uh, we have 17 minutes. Huh, what can we do in 17 minutes? Twice? Emily Waltham : Well that's ambitious. Ross Geller : Hey, uh, you can ignore that. Emily Waltham : That's Carol with your son! Ross Geller : Uhh, believe me when he's older, he'll understand. Carol Willick : Ross! Ross Geller : I'll be right there. Hello! Hello! Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan. Susan Bunch : Hey, it's so nice to finally meet you! Emily Waltham : Me too! Carol Willick : Ohh, y'know, Susan's gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week. Susan Bunch : Oh yeah, I'm so excited, I've never been there. Emily Waltham : Oh, well, I'll show you around. Susan Bunch : That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions... Emily Waltham : Oh, there's tonnes of terrific stuff-I'll go with you! Susan Bunch : Ahh! Ross Geller : Look at you two, bonding, making us late for the airport so... Emily Waltham : Are you all right? Susan Bunch : Oh, he's fine. He's fine. It's just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesn't like me. Ross Geller : Oh come on! That's-that's... true. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Do we have a baby name yet? Phoebe Buffay : Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book and found nothing! I want a name that's really like, y'know strong and confident, y'know? Like-like Exxon. Chandler Bing : Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ooh, Pheebs, you want a strong name? How about, The Hulk? Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm-I'm not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with "The." Joey Tribbiani : Oh, want a good name, go with Joey. Joey's your pal. Joey's your buddy. "Where is everybody?" "Well, they're hanging out with Joey." Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what, if you're gonna do that, if you're gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. Oh, come on! Chandler's funny, sophisticated, and he's very loveable, once you get to know him. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, hey, Joey's loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, he'll be there. Chandler Bing : Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, he'll be there. And he'll bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that you're really hot. Joey Tribbiani : What do ya say? What do ya say? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. But, all right, I don't-maybe I'll just name him The Hulk. Joey Tribbiani : I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it! That's what I wanted to name my kid! Rachel Green : Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. Monica Geller : Y'know what? It really creeps me out choosing other people's sex clothes. Rachel Green : Sorry. I'm so exited! I've been waiting for this for months! I got my hair coloured! I got new sheets! I'm making him a very fancy meal. Monica Geller : Um-hmm. Rachel Green : What am I making him by the way? Monica Geller : Well, you're making him a frieze salad with goat cheese and pine nuts, wild nuts, wild rice, roast asparagus, and salmon au croup. Rachel Green : I thought I was making him filet mignon? Monica Geller : Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you bitched about it, then you would stop cooking, and you would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke. Rachel Green : Wow, I really get crabby when I cook. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : So uh, Emily called last night... Chandler Bing : And now you're giving me the message! Ross Geller : Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, they're going to the theatre together! They're going to dinner! They're going horseback riding! Phoebe Buffay : God, Susan is so fun! Ross Geller : Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for Like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great." Chandler Bing : You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan? Ross Geller : Hey, they're going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Y'know they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playful-didn't you see Personal Best? Joey Tribbiani : No, but I'm gonna! Chandler Bing : Hi! Hi! You're crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight. Ross Geller : How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I definitely. I don't like the name Ross. Ross Geller : What a weird way to kick me when I'm down. Phoebe Buffay : No! No! I-I meant for the baby! Ross Geller : Oh. What's wrong with Ross? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's just y'know that something like this would never to like The Hulk, y'know... Ross Geller : Actually that-that's not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found... Y'know, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriend's a lesbian. Phoebe Buffay : So, I decided I'm definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler. Chandler Bing : Raymond Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Someone you didn't make up! Chandler Bing : Okay, there are no famous Joey's. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that guy really hurt us. Phoebe Buffay : Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if it's like y'know, Chanoey? Chandler Bing : Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, he'll never be President. There's never gonna be a President Joey. Joey Tribbiani : All right look man, I didn't want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! It's not even a name; it's barely even a word. Okay? It's kinda like chandelier, but it's not! All right? It's a stupid, stupid non-name! Chandler Bing : Wow, you're, you're right. I have a horrible, horrible name. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry man, I didn't-I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : So I guess it's Joey then! Joshua Burgin : This is so nice. Thank you for doing this. Rachel Green : Ohh, please! Cooking soothes me. Ahh. So, dig in! Joshua Burgin : Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good! Rachel Green : Hmmm! Joshua Burgin : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh I know, my God, this is so-this rice is so-I am so good. Joshua Burgin : Behind you? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over. Joshua Burgin : Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. It's just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out! Rachel Green : Yeah, sure, okay. Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. Rachel Green : All gone! So, farm birds, huh? Joshua Burgin : Yeah, it's-it's my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I would've told you about it, but I didn't know they would be here. Rachel Green : Oh. Joshua Burgin : So, all right. Rachel Green : Okay. So, can I serve you a little of-What? What? What? Joshua Burgin : Nothing I uh, it's just that I know that they're still out there. Rachel Green : But, they're across the hall! I mean that's two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here. Joshua Burgin : Okay, that's-that's not funny. Uhh. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know, would you feel better if we went someplace else? I mean we could pack all this stuff up and y'know go to your apartment. Joshua Burgin : Oh, they're working on this week, it's a total mess. But uh, I'm staying at my parents' house, we could go there. Rachel Green : Your parents'? Joshua Burgin : Yeah, they're out of town. Rachel Green : Ohh. Joshua Burgin : Yeah-yeah, it's this huge place, and-and it's got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say? Rachel Green : Yeah that works. Joshua Burgin : They-they-they can smell fear. Ross Geller : Hey! Carol Willick : Hey! How's Ben? Ross Geller : Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, he's sweeping. Carol Willick : Hey, Ben! Hey! Ross Geller : So umm, any word from Susan? Carol Willick : Ooh, yeah! She said she's having sooo much fun with Emily. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I don't know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun? Carol Willick : What's too much fun? Ross Geller : Y'know, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married. Carol Willick : Oh my God, you are so paranoid! Ross Geller : Am I?! Carol Willick : Yes! Ross Geller : Am I?! Carol Willick : I can't speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship. Ross Geller : Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Y'know? Say-say they're coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, they're laughing, y'know, someone innocently touches someone else... There's electricity, it's new. It's exciting. Are you telling me there isn't even the slightest possibility of something happening? Carol Willick : Maybe. Ross Geller : OH MY GOD!! I didn't really believe it until you just said it!! Joshua Burgin : ...and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me! Rachel Green : Wow! This place is fabulous! Joshua Burgin : Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room. Rachel Green : Whoa-whoa, there's two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place must've been a real babe magnet. Joshua Burgin : Yeah, well, it would've been, but uh, my parents just moved here. Rachel Green : Ohh, you should know, this place is a real babe magnet. Wanna make out? Joshua Burgin : Hey, here's an idea. Why don't uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later? Rachel Green : That sounds like a plan. Umm, is there a place I can go freshen up? Joshua Burgin : Oh yeah, yeah uh, it's down the hall and uh, second door to your left. Rachel Green : Ah. Mrs. Burgin : Oh, hi, darling! Joshua Burgin : Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here? Mrs. Burgin : Oh, well we cut the trip short. Mr. Burgin : France sucks! Joshua Burgin : Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here. Mrs. Burgin : Oh, say no more! Mr. Burgin : We'll just grab some food and take it with us right upstairs, and we'll be right out of you hair. Joshua Burgin : Oh, that-that would be great. So you didn't even get to Italy? Mr. Burgin : Yep, sucks! Rachel Green : Hi you! Joshua Burgin : Oh my God! Rachel Green : I know, I can do more than cook. Mr. Burgin : I like her. She sees smart. Joshua Burgin : Uhh, Rachel, my parents... Rachel Green : Ohh! It's so nice to meet you. Hello. Mr. Burgin : Hi. Rachel Green : Hello. Mrs. Burgin : Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries. Rachel Green : What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is not-that's-that's not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see and-and, this is a real dress actually. It's-it's, they're-they're wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is too wear the clothes, and then I see how people respond, and then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdale's, so... And obviously in uh, in-in this case, I am going to report back, "USA not ready." Mrs. Burgin : Maybe in L.A? Rachel Green : Yes! Joshua Burgin : There you go. Mr. Burgin : So, have you kids eaten yet? Rachel Green : Well, we were going to do that after-I mean umm, next. Mr. Burgin : Well, we're starving, why don't we all go get something to eat? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, well... Yeah, no use wasting this baby, just lyin' around the house. Mr. Burgin : So... We go eat. Rachel Green : Yes. Mr. Burgin : You'll wear that. We'll be eating, and of course, you'll be wearing that. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I am sorry about what I said! Chandler Bing : No, no, you're right, it is a ridiculous name! Joey Tribbiani : It's not that bad. Chandler Bing : Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name. Joey Tribbiani : So, you're just Bing? Chandler Bing : I have no name. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so, what are we supposed to call you? Chandler Bing : Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint. Joey Tribbiani : No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint. Chandler Bing : Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Gene. Chandler Bing : It's Clint. It's Clint! Joey Tribbiani : See you later, Gene. Phoebe Buffay : Bye, Gene. Chandler Bing : It's Clint! Clint! Joey Tribbiani : What's up with Gene? Monica Geller : So, you wore your nightie to dinner? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh, no! Rachel Green : No, it's all right. I got nice boobs. Ross Geller : So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together! Rachel Green : So? Ross Geller : So! Poetry? Susan's gay! They're being gay together! Monica Geller : Emily's straight. Ross Geller : Oh, wake up! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, Carol really messed you up! Ross Geller : Excuse me? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. All right, so I don't know what sycophant means, but the rest is right. Ross Geller : Look, I don't know what you're talking about, I am not a crazy, jealous person. Rachel Green : Huh. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : She's totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark and there was nothing going on. Monica Geller : This totally makes sense! Ross Geller : It does not! Monica Geller : Oh, sure it does! In high school, you weren't jealous at all even though all your girlfriends were cheating on you! Phoebe Buffay : All right, all right, so up until '92-93 he was very trusting, then '94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city! Rachel Green : Absolutely! Absolutely! Monica Geller : This is so much fun! Ross Geller : This is not fun! Monica Geller : Look, all we're trying to say is, don't let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. The '92 Ross wouldn't. Ross Geller : Well, I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing. Rachel Green : What-yeah-what, y'know what? I hope Emily is a lesbian. Phoebe Buffay : Drum roll. Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John? Joey Tribbiani : Nah, you're not tall enough to be a Mark, but you might make a good Barney. Chandler Bing : All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse. Phoebe Buffay : You're actually going through with this? Chandler Bing : Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, it's probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women... So, as of 4 o'clock tomorrow, I'm either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson. Phoebe Buffay : You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In fact-yes, I'm, I'm sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, I'm-I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna name the baby Chandler. Chandler Bing : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you have to keep the name too! Chandler Bing : Okay. Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Chandler Bing : You wanna hug it out? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Yay! Chandler Bing : Yay! Phoebe Buffay : Yay-oh-yay! Okay, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now! Chandler Bing : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, uh... Chandler Bing : Bye, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye! Chandler Bing : Ha! Ha! Ha! Joey Tribbiani : Ohh! Ross Geller : Nice luggage. Carol Willick : I was gonna say... Susan Bunch : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Emily Waltham : Hey! I missed you. Ross Geller : Oh, I missed you too. Susan Bunch : Thanks for everything, I had such a great time. Emily Waltham : Oh, so did I. Ross Geller : No tongue. The Singing Man : Morning's here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the morning's here! The morning's here! Rachel Green : HEY!! Do you have to do that? It's Saturday! The Singing Man : Oh come on! Morning's here! Morning's here! The morning is here! Sunshine is here! Rachel Green : I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy! Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding? I love that guy! Morning's here! Morning is here- Rachel Green : Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small. Monica Geller : Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did. Rachel Green : Monica, you don't even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor! Monica Geller : Y'know what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Monica Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : See, this is a great apartment. Monica Geller : Shut up! This place is a hole! Emily Waltham : Oh, blimey, I still can't believe you've got an earring! Ross Geller : Huh? I know, I know. Who am I? David Bowe? Emily Waltham : He does that?! Ross Geller : Uh, I don't know, whatever. Emily Waltham : I think it makes you look really dangerous. Ross Geller : Oh, I know. Y'know what, I never would've gotten this if it weren't for you. No really, when I'm with you I'm-I'm like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy! Emily Waltham : I love both of you! Ross Geller : Yeah? Emily Waltham : I wish I didn't have to go. Ross Geller : Then don't. Stay here. Just don't go so soon to London, just one more day. Emily Waltham : Ohh, Ross, please! Ross Geller : One more day, seriously/ Emily Waltham : Don't do this to me, again. You'd know I'd stay here in a minute, but I'd really miss so much work, they'll fire me. Ross Geller : So, then you can stay as long as you want. Emily Waltham : I wish I could. Ross Geller : Oh no. Don't, don't, don't start packing. Come on! Emily Waltham : I don't think you understand packing. Look, I just don't want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here. Ross Geller : Yeah, I know, I uh, I tried them on. Emily Waltham : You didn't! Ross Geller : No. No, I didn't. I didn't want to be that guy. Phoebe Buffay : Hello! Chandler Bing : Ho! Ho! Ho! Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me. Chandler Bing : Your pants! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! You like 'em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants. Phoebe Buffay : What? Chandler Bing : Santa pants. Santa Claus's pants. Phoebe Buffay : Nuh-uh! They're maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. See, these names are good, and these names are bad. Ohh. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : So-Hey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know! How are the-the-the-the, y'know-You're clothes aren't funny. Monica Geller : Hey, guys, what-what should I wear to a Knicks game? Chandler Bing : Uhh, a T-shirt that says, "I don't belong here." Joey Tribbiani : You have Knicks tickets? Rachel Green : Yeah, my mom got my dad's season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me. Monica Geller : Yeah, apparently, they're pretty good seats. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor! Rachel Green : Do you guys want these? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Yeah we do! Rachel Green : Ohh, well you got 'em. Both : All right! Rachel Green : Just give us our apartment back! Phoebe Buffay : Boy! I didn't see that coming! Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Rachel Green : Oh, come on! We know what these are worth. Monica Geller : Yeah, what, do you think we're stupid? Joey Tribbiani : You're not stupid. You're meaner than I thought. Monica Geller : What do you say? Chandler Bing : Forget it! Okay, I'm not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats! Rachel Green : You're bachelor pad?! Monica Geller : Have you even had a girl up here? Chandler Bing : No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you do! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Chandler Bing : Yes, Gunther, can I get two cups of chino, please? Gunther : Good one. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, season tickets! Season tickets, do you know what that means? Chandler Bing : Forget it! Okay, I'm not giving up the apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oh come-look, when I was a kid my dad's company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasn't in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that! Ross Geller : Hey, guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : We don't make enough fun of you already? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, Emily convinced me to do it. Chandler Bing : You do know that Wham broke up? Ross Geller : I like it, and Emily likes it, and that's what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing? Joey Tribbiani : Oh-no, don't try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear. Chandler Bing : Where is Emily? Ross Geller : Ugh, she's saying good-bye to her uncle. Chandler Bing : Man, didn't she like just get here? Ross Geller : Yeah!! Yeah! Chandler Bing : Easy tiger. Ross Geller : I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, it's-it's so great. But at the same time I'm thinking, "Well, I'm gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off." Chandler Bing : So what are you going to do? Ross Geller : Nothing! There's nothing to do! I mean, she lives there, I live here. I mean, she-she'd have to uh, move here. She should move here! Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : I could ask her to live with me! Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Ross Geller : I mean, why not! I mean, I mean why not?! Chandler Bing : Because you've only known her for six weeks! Okay, I've got a carton of milk in my fridge I've had a longer relationship with! Ross Geller : Look guys, when I'm with her it's-it's-it's like she brings this-this-this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, y'know? Chandler Bing : And I love the milk! But, I'm not gonna some British girl to move in with me! Joey, you say things now. Joey Tribbiani : All right look, Ross, he's right. Emily's great, she's great! But this way too soon, you're only gonna scare her! Ross Geller : I don't want to do that. Joey Tribbiani : No! You don't want to wreck it, you don't want to go to fast! Ross Geller : Yeah, no, you're right, I know, you're right, I'm not, I'm not gonna do it. All right, thanks guys. Chandler Bing : Okay, no problem, just remember to wake us up before you go-go. Phoebe Buffay : That's too hard. Too hard! Monica Geller : All right boys, last chance for the tickets! Rachel Green : Or I'll give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua. Chandler Bing : No thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Wait-wait-wait-wait! Come on! Come on, let's trade! The timing's perfect, I just clogged the toilet! Chandler Bing : Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we can't leave in the small apartment after we've lived here! Didn't you ever read Flowers for Algernon? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Didn't you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didn't read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight! Chandler Bing : Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats. Joey Tribbiani : It's the Knicks! Chandler Bing : Screw the Knicks! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Chandler Bing : I didn't mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Chandler Bing : And the Knicks rule all. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the Knicks rule all! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, so? Are you gonna do it? Chandler Bing : No. No. We're not gonna do that, y'know why? Because its not an even trade. Rachel Green : All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets? Joey Tribbiani : Done! Rachel Green : Let me finish. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Rachel Green : I'm talking about a bet, winner takes all. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, we could end up with nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Or you could end up with everything. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, I like that. Monica Geller : All right, so what do you say? Chandler Bing : No! Monica Geller : Oh, just do it!! Chandler Bing : Op, op, I'm convinced! Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, you know I'd do it for you! Because, you're my best friend. Chandler Bing : All right, but you can't use that again for a whole year. I'm in. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet? Rachel Green : Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because she's the only who's impartial, and she's so pretty. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Umm, ooh, ooh-oh, I have a game! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : This is great! Joey Tribbiani : What's the game?! What's the game?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, it doesn't have a name-oh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesn't have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees? Monica Geller : They're green? Phoebe Buffay : Good! Good! Five points! Phoebe Buffay : All right, Joey, same question. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, they're tall. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy, leafy. Monica Geller : That's not even a game! Rachel Green : What? Shut up! We're winning! Monica Geller : You wanna finish this right now? All right, we get a deck of cards, high card wins. What do you say? Chandler Bing : Fine, let's do it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I have cards! Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Monica Geller : Oh, good. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Here! Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay, you guys uh, you guys pick first Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Four. Chandler Bing : That's a low one! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Okay. Phoebe, you look, I can't. Phoebe Buffay : What make you think I can?! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay. Ace! Chandler Bing : Why are you screaming and hugging? Monica Geller : Because we won our apartment back! Joey Tribbiani : What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace! Monica Geller : No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four! Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! Ah-ha! Rachel Green : All right, cut, let's pick again, pick again. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Come on apartment! Come on apartment! Oh! I know queen is high! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh, not as high as... It worked! King! Chandler Bing : Yeah baby! Monica Geller : But, we pick again! We pick again! Joey Tribbiani : Why?! Monica Geller : I don't know! Chandler Bing : Tickets please! That's courtside baby! Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, good game though. Good game. What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back! Chandler Bing : No they didn't! Ross Geller : Hey! Emily Waltham : I packed while you were gone. I left some knickers under your pillow. Ross Geller : Move in with me. Emily Waltham : What?! Ross Geller : Don't be scared, I-I know it sounds crazy and-and people will say it's too soon, but just-just think, think how great it will be. Emily Waltham : Ohh, no. Ugh. Oh, leaving London, my whole family lives there. Ross Geller : I know. Emily Waltham : My job! Ross Geller : Well, so, you-you'll get a job here! I mean, I'm always hearing about uh, them foreigners coming in here and stealing American jobs; that could be you! Emily Waltham : Yeah, but it-it-it's my whole life-you come to England. Ross Geller : No, I can't. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I can't leave him. Isn't-you don't think there's any way? Emily Waltham : Ohh, I don't think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future –and-and-and we were getting married or something. Ross Geller : What? Emily Waltham : Oh no, no, right I shouldn't have said married. Uh, please don't go freaky on me. I didn't mean it. Well, I didn't say it; I take it back! Ross Geller : No, no, don't. Why don't we? Emily Waltham : Why don't we what? Ross Geller : Get married. Emily Waltham : You are mad! Ross Geller : No! No! I'm not! It's-it's-it's perfect! I mean it's better than you just-just moving here, 'cause it's us together forever, and that's-that's what I want. Emily Waltham : We've only known each other for six weeks! Ross Geller : Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, who's-who's to say? Does that me we-we can't do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesn't it? Emily Waltham : My parents are going to be really mad. Ross Geller : Is that-are you saying yes? Is that yes? Emily Waltham : Yes. Emily Waltham : Yes! Ross Geller : Yes! We're getting married?! Emily Waltham : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Yes! Emily Waltham : We're getting married! Ross Geller : Come here, come here. Uh, ow! Emily, will you marry me? Emily Waltham : Yes. Emily Waltham : Ohh, it's a bit small. Ross Geller : Damn! I thought that was going to be romantic as hell! Emily Waltham : It was. Chandler Bing : Those were like the best seats ever. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Y'know, kinda like a peace offering. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that's very nice. Plus, y'know they were free and they're too small. Chandler Bing : Oh. Oh, God! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, want a beer? WHOA!!!! Chandler Bing : I KNOW!!! Chandler Bing : Open up! Open up! Open up! Monica Geller : We'll discuss it, in the morning! Chandler Bing : What the hell is going on?! Rachel Green : We took our apartment back!! Phoebe Buffay : I had nothing to do with it. Okay, it was my idea, but I don't feel good about it. Chandler Bing : We are switching back, right now! Monica Geller : No, we're not! We're not leaving! Chandler Bing : Well, you're gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, we're switching it back! There's nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to move again! Chandler Bing : I don't care, this is our apartment! And they stole-you stole it-our apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. I'm getting back right now! Rachel Green : All right. We figured you might respond this way, so we have a backup offer. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You can't offer anything to us! Rachel Green : Let us keep the apartment and... Monica Geller : As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute. Chandler Bing : Totally worth it! Joey Tribbiani : That was one good minute! Chandler Bing : Good night. Joey Tribbiani : Good night. Monica Geller : Men are such idiots. Rachel Green : Yeah! Can you believe that something that stupid actually got us our apartment back? Phoebe Buffay : That's so funny to think if you'd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all. Monica Geller : Yeah, let-let-let's pretend that's not true. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, scarf's done. Ross Geller : Come on! Come on. Come on. Chandler Bing : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : What-what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Ross has some big thing to tell everyone. Ross Geller : Uhh, okay, it's uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married. Phoebe Buffay : What? Oh, are you pregnant too?! Emily Waltham : Umm, no. Monica Geller : When, when did-how, how did you... Ross Geller : We, we just decided to uh, to go for it. Emily Waltham : I mean, we know it's a bit hasty but, uh, it just feels so right, so... Ross Geller : Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys... Rachel Green : Yeah, I-I heard. I think it's great! Ohh, I'm so happy for you! Chandler Bing : Oh, well, that's great! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! Monica Geller : I can't believe you're getting married! Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Monica and Rachel made out. The Singing Man : Morning's here! The morning's here! Both : Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the morning's here! The Singing Man : Hey! You're back! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Get into gear! The Singing Man : Breakfast is near! Both : The dark of night has disappeared!! The Singing Man : I'll see you tomorrow morning! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Chandler Bing : Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Joey. Joey. Joey. Joey! Joey!! Chandler Bing : Oh. Oh, did-did-did I wake you? Chandler Bing : Gunther, can I get another cup of coffee, please? So uh, what do you do when you're not working here? Gunther : You don't need to fill these silences. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay, thanks. Monica Geller : Chandler, that's like your fourth cup of coffee! Chandler Bing : Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because I'm exhausted! Because Joey started snoring! Monica Geller : He's in a different room! He's really that loud? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you should here me. Chandler Bing : It's not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic! Joey Tribbiani : Look, I told ya, I'm not going to any clinic! I don't have a problem, you're the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic! Chandler Bing : They don't have those. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, you've just had your first class! Monica Geller : Y'know I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over... Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh, yeah! Monica Geller : He would just roll me over and I would stop snoring. Chandler Bing : Next time you snore, I'm rolling ya over! Joey Tribbiani : I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it. Ross Geller : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey, all right! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, the Olympics. Monica Geller : Have you guys picked a date yet? Ross Geller : Oh no, not yet. Phoebe Buffay : I still cannot believe you're engaged! Just 'cause its happening so fast; not 'cause you're such a loser. Ross Geller : Oh. Thanks. Uh, has anyone seen Rach? Monica Geller : Ugh, she's upstairs not doing the dishes! And I tell ya something! I'm not doing them this time! I don't care if those dishes sit in the sink until they're all covered with-I'll do them when I get home! Ross Geller : Yeah-oh! Hey listen umm, Emily found this wedding dress in London... Phoebe Buffay : Already?! Ross Geller : Yeah, but it didn't fit. Well, luckily there's a store here that has one left in her size, but I'm the groom, I'm not supposed to see the dress... Monica Geller : I'll pick it up for you! Ross Geller : Thank you. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Oh, she's got you running errands, y'know, picking up wedding dresses... Wah-pah! Ross Geller : What's wah-pah? Chandler Bing : Y'know, whipped! Wah-pah! Joey Tribbiani : That's not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh! Chandler Bing : That's what I did. Wah-pah! Joey Tribbiani : You can't do anything! Rachel Green : Hey, Mon, I was just doing the dishes! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh! It's you. Hi. Ross Geller : Hey, do uh, do you have a minute? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah, I was just about to take a break anyways, so... Ross Geller : So listen uh, I know you and I haven't really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : I know if you were getting married I'd feel, kinda..... y'know. Rachel Green : Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but I'm okay. Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : All right, I just wanted to check. Rachel Green : Oh, that's sweet. Ross Geller : You're great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there. Rachel Green : Uhh, hang in there? Ross Geller : Oh, no, I didn't mean, uh... Rachel Green : I mean maybe you didn't hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua? Ross Geller : Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didn't realise that had become anything, yet. Rachel Green : Oh, no-no-no, no-no-no, it has become, it has-yeah. Oh no, those were four great dates. Ross Geller : Oh. Yeah? Rachel Green : Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I mean, the connection, I mean y'know, emotionally, mentally, physically... Ross Geller : Wow, that's-that's-that's incredible. Rachel Green : I know isn't it? It's like I'm right there with Joshua. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Rachel Green : You are right there with Emily. And it's y'know, it's kinda like.... it's a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes. Ross Geller : I gotta get to work. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Fine. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know, y'know what would make me really happy? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, no, what's that? Ross Geller : If like the four of us could all y'know, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emily's coming into town this weekend, why don't you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night? Rachel Green : That would be great! Ross Geller : Yeah, all right, it's a date. Rachel Green : Hang in there. You hang in there. Ross Geller : Did you say something? Rachel Green : No, just singing. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ohh! Look at this one! It's so beautiful! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but y'know, about have of these are gonna end up getting divorced. The Saleslady : May I help you ladies? Monica Geller : Oh, yes, umm, I'm here to pick up a dress that you have on hold. The Saleslady : Yes, what's the name, please? Monica Geller : Emily Waltham. The Saleslady : Yes! I have it right here. Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham? Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. Monica Geller : I am, aren't I? The Saleslady : Ms. Waltham? Monica Geller : Yes? The Saleslady : We're closing. Monica Geller : All right. The Saleslady : And could I get my ring back? Chandler Bing : All right buddy, time to roll over. No-no! No, no-n-n-n-no!! You are going to a clinic! You're going to a clinic, and a pyjama store! Monica Geller : Does she use the cups? Yes! I believe she does. Does she use the plates? Yes! I believe she does. Monica Geller : Oh. Thank you. Ohhh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you for coming. Uh, just a second! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, let me in! Monica Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Can you just hold on for one minute? Phoebe Buffay : No, you have to let me in right now!! Monica Geller : Are you alone? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Monica Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : This sucks! I didn't know I had to stay up all night before I went to this stupid sleep clinic! I'm so tired! Chandler Bing : It's 6:00. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well... Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think that's, I think that's really cool. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Rach, I think you're handling that really well. Rachel Green : Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? There's nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasn't for me and Joshua. Y'know, they're not gonna get married anyway! Chandler Bing : What? Rachel Green : Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast it's ridiculous! I mean, they're gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what they've done and they're call the whole thing off. I'm telling ya, you're gonna be dancing at my wedding before you're dancing at there's. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I don't dance at weddings. Rachel Green : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because weddings are a great place to meet women, and when I dance, I look like this... Ross Geller : Hey man. Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today? Chandler Bing : Nothing. Rachel Green : Nothing. Joey Tribbiani : I am... free! Ross Geller : Great! Because Emily and I are getting married in a month! Chandler Bing : What?! Ross Geller : Yep! Rachel Green : In a month? Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : You mean, you mean 30 days? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : From now? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well, that's great. Ross Geller : Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but it's going to be torn down, so... I mean, I-I know it's crazy, but everything up 'til now has been so crazy, and I don't know, this just feels right. Y'know? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! That's the day after I stop menstruating! This isn't mine. Joshua Burgin : Hey, Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Joshua Burgin : What's up? You're voice sounded all squeaky on the phone. Rachel Green : Ohh, nothing, I just wanted to see you. See you and hug you. See you. Joshua Burgin : Great! Rachel Green : Yeah! Sit! Joshua Burgin : You okay? Rachel Green : I'm more than okay, I am really, really happy! Wanna know why? Joshua Burgin : Do I? Rachel Green : 'Cause I am really happy about us. I think we are, I think we are so on the right track! Y'know? I mean, I think we are working, I think we are clicking. Y'know? Joshua Burgin : Yeah, sure-sure, yeah, we're-we're-we're-we're-we're clicking. Rachel Green : Yeah-yeah, y'know if-if there was just like one little area where I-that I think we need-we would need to work on; I-I would think it was we're just not crazy enough! Joshua Burgin : I-I gotta say, I-I-I-I'm not too sure I agree with that. Rachel Green : Well, yeah, right, y'know what? Yeah, you're right, I mean, we no, we have our fun. Yeah! But if ......I mean, I mean like craaaazy! Y'know? Okay, all right. This is gonna, this is gonna sound y'know, a little umm, hasty, but uh, just go with it. Umm. Ugh. What if we got married? Joshua Burgin : What?! Rachel Green : Oh, I know, I know, it's-it's so, it's so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Y'know, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Don't you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, don't you think? Joshua Burgin : Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, you're a real special lady, but my divorce isn't final yet and, and, and we've been on four days, so I'm thinking "No, but thanks." Gunther : YOU IDIOT!!!!! Sleep Clinic Worker : Your name, please? Joey Tribbiani : Joey Tribbiani. Sleep Clinic Worker : Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. Uh, sir? Chandler Bing : Yes he did. Sleep Clinic Worker : Alll right, we'll call you in a few minutes. Chandler Bing : Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she is. Wow! How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : What?! Chandler Bing : You're coming on to the entire room! I'm Chandler. Woman : I'm Marjorie. Chandler Bing : Hi. Marjorie : Hi. Chandler Bing : You mind if I... Marjorie : No, please. Chandler Bing : So uh, what are you in for? Marjorie : I talk in my sleep. Chandler Bing : What a coincidence, I listen in my sleep. Joey Tribbiani : So why don't you give me your number? Monica Geller : Okay, ready? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : I got it! Mine! Monica Geller : Congratulations! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! Monica Geller : Okay! My turn! My turn! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Okay, ready? Monica Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : That was a terrible throw!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm not gonna right to you! That's not real! Monica Geller : Look at me! My big concern is what's real?! Oh my God. We're really sad, aren't we? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I think we are. Monica Geller : This isn't even my dress. Phoebe Buffay : Well, at least you didn't rent yours from a store called, "It's Not Too Late." Monica Geller : I'm changing out of this. Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Monica Geller : In like a half-hour? Phoebe Buffay : Me too. Monica Geller : Okay, throw it straight this time. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : I'm getting married next!! Phoebe Buffay : Yay! Phoebe Buffay : I hate my regular clothes now! Y'know? I look down and-and I know that this isn't gonna be the most special day of my life. Monica Geller : Yeah. I mean it was kinda fun for a while, but didn't you start feeling silly? Phoebe Buffay : I guess. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh God. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're such a cheater! Chandler Bing : Hello! Little ones. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : So, is Joey gonna stop snoring? Chandler Bing : Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how'd that happen? Chandler Bing : Because I'm cooler. Monica Geller : No, seriously. Chandler Bing : Well she's, she's the kinda girl-Joey was unconscious. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys! What's happening? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : What is that? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and it's gonna help me not to snore. Monica Geller : Well, are you asleep right now, Joe? 'Cause I don't think you have to wear it unless you are! Joey Tribbiani : I know I don't have too! It tastes good. Chandler Bing : Plus, you look cool. Rachel Green : Well, I just called Joshua... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how did it go? Rachel Green : Well, I did my best to convince him that I'm not some crazy girl who is dying to get married-I'm just going through a hard time. Phoebe Buffay : What did he say? Rachel Green : Well uh, his answering machine was very understanding. Ugh. I feel blue. Monica Geller : Ohh, sweetie! Hey, I bet you anything that he's gonna call you again. Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe, but I don't think I even care. I don't think he's the one I'm sad about. Y'know, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I don't think I'm handling it all that well. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, maybe. Rachel Green : And I-I am just trying to figure out why. Phoebe Buffay : Any luck? Rachel Green : Well, yeah, y'know how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again. Monica Geller : Again. Y'know what? I think we all did. Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernie's at 9 o'clock? Rachel Green : Yeah, well, you uh, better make it for three. Ross Geller : Oh, see I-I don't know if we're gonna be hungry at three. Rachel Green : Three people. Joshua's not gonna be there. Ross Geller : What happened? Rachel Green : Uh, well, I think, I think he broke up with me. Ross Geller : Noo. Why? Rachel Green : Well, apparently he scares easy. Ross Geller : Oh, Rachel, I'm-I'm sorry. Rachel Green : It's okay. Sometimes, things don't work out the way you'd thought they would. Ross Geller : Come here. Rachel Green : Oh, hey, don't you have to go pick up Emily? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : You okay? Rachel Green : Yeah! I got my girls. Rachel Green : Ugh. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, y'know what might cheer you up? Rachel Green : What? Rachel Green : Y'know, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood. Monica Geller : Oh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. Maybe someday, there will be. Monica Geller : Oh God! He's gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date! Rachel Green : Oh, okay! Monica Geller : No-no, Rachel, don't get it! He can't see us! Phoebe Buffay : No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride! Rachel Green : I'm not gonna marry Chandler! Phoebe Buffay : Not after this! Rachel Green : Okay, you guys, just relax. I doooo. Joshua Burgin : I gotta go. Rachel Green : Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! Yeah, well, that oughta do it. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! I am trying to sleep! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? It seems like all of the sudden; so much has happened. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Ross is getting married. Chandler Bing : Phoebe is, making people. Joey Tribbiani : Everybody's doing stuff! Chandler Bing : And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge! Joey Tribbiani : We could climb Mt. Everest! Chandler Bing : No-no, not something stupid, something huge. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no, I saw an ad for this video, people climb that thing everyday! We could totally do that! Chandler Bing : Why not?! I mean it's just, it's just climbing! It's just, it's just steep! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : We're going to Everest! Okay, it would be nice to leave an ass print on Everest! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : What-what's up? Joey Tribbiani : We're gonna climb Mt. Everest! Chandler Bing : Yeah baby! Phoebe Buffay : Really?! I looked into that. Yeah, but, I mean it costs like $60,000 and y'know you can die. And, you would die! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well... Joey Tribbiani : We could get that Everest video though. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we could do that without y'know risking our lives at all! Joey Tribbiani : And while we're down at the video store, you know what else we could rent? Die Hard! Oh, y'know what? I just remembered, that Everest thing is only available through mail order. Chandler Bing : Oh, well... Phoebe Buffay : So you guys'll stay here and hang out with me? Chandler Bing : Yeeeeahhhh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yeah. Chandler Bing : But I'll tell you something. One of these days we're get off of our buts and rent Die Hard again! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah we are! Emily Waltham : So what did he decide? Does your Uncle Nathan get an invite or not? Ross Geller : Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and he's so cheap, he'd never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? Emily Waltham : Yeah, they're fine. Ross Geller : Yeah? Emily Waltham : If anyone asks, we'll just say Ben addressed them. Oh! So you invited Rachel then? Ross Geller : Sure. Why not? Emily Waltham : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah? Emily Waltham : I don't think I'd be comfortable with any of my old lovers there. Ross Geller : Wait-wait-wait, do you, do you think, maybe we shouldn't invite her? Emily Waltham : Oh, no-no, y'know I absolutely adore Rachel it's just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But it's absolutely your decision. More tea? Ross Geller : Yeah sure. Emily Waltham : Earl Grey? Ross Geller : Huh? Yeah, fine, invite whoever you want. Ross Geller : I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again! Chandler Bing : And I just want a million dollars! Monica Geller : Rachel?! Rachel Green : Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are! Monica Geller : Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? Rachel Green : Hi, sure! Ross Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you. Rachel Green : I knew. Ross Geller : You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother. Rachel Green : I did. Ross Geller : Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here-but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe? Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe... Ross Geller : Okay... okay, maybe I will... Ross Geller : See, I see.... big passion in your future. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : I do. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, you're so great. Joey Tribbiani : It's never gonna happen. Ross Geller : Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um.... Rachel Green : Ohhh!!!! Ross Geller : Yes, yes, that's right... Rachel Green : Oh, look at the little cat! Look at it! Ross Geller : What? Ow! Joey Tribbiani : I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find... Rachel Green : All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it! Rachel Green : Yes! Did you see that? Ross Geller : You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen. Rachel Green : I could not have done this without you. Ross Geller : Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? I'm fine, I'm fine. Ross Geller : You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you. Rachel Green : Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie? Ross Geller : The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed. Rachel Green : Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross. Ross Geller : Fine. Rachel Green : 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship. Ross Geller : Good. Rachel Green : Good. Rachel Green : Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I'm doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I'm doing something that I'm actually good at. I mean. if you don't get that... Ross Geller : No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I'm happy for ya, but I'm tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don't know what to do anymore. Rachel Green : Well neither do I! Ross Geller : Is this about Mark? Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : Okay, it's not, it's not. Rachel Green : Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you're, you're, you're making this too hard. Ross Geller : Oh I'm, I'm making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do. Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, fine, you're right. Let's ah, let's take a break, let's cool off, okay, let's get some frozen yogart, or something.. Rachel Green : No. A break from us. Chloe : Do I know why we're rushing? Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!! Chloe : That's so great for you guys! Ross Geller : Yeah! Chloe : Good luck, with your girlfriend. Ross Geller : Oh, thank you. Hey, hey. Rachel!!!! Rachel Green : Hi. Ohhh, you got my message. Ross Geller : Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time. Rachel Green : So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again? Ross Geller : Yes, you can, very much. Ross Geller : Ahhhh!! Rachel Green : Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here! Ross Geller : No!! Rachel Green : Just get out! Now!! Ross Geller : No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this. Rachel Green : Okay! All right! How was she? Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Was she good? Joey Tribbiani : Don't answer that. Rachel Green : Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, let's talk about it!! How was she? Ross Geller : She was... Joey Tribbiani : Awful! Horrible! Chandler Bing : She was not good. Not good. Joey Tribbiani : She was nothing compared to you. Ross Geller : She, she was different. Joey Tribbiani : Ewwwww! Chandler Bing : Uh-oh. Rachel Green : Good different? Ross Geller : Nobody likes change. Ross Geller : What? Okay, okay, okay, okay. Rachel Green : ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much you've grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Ooh, I just wish we hadn't lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective... Ross Geller : WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!! Rachel Green : You seem to really like her. Ross Geller : Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, y'know no commitment. Rachel Green : Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica's photo albums, I mean you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks. Ross Geller : You think? Rachel Green : Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and you're sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip. Ross Geller : Hey, you're right. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Ohh, this is soo amazing! I can't believe my brother's getting married! And in London! It's so romantic! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, pretty smart! Tissue paper! You're at the wedding, you have to cry, "Handkerchief?" "No-no, I got my invitation." Phoebe Buffay : Oooh look! Isn't this adorable, Ross let Ben address mine! Chandler Bing : Hello! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Hey, did you get your invitation to Ross's wedding? Chandler Bing : Noo. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry man, I get to bring a guest. We'll show him. Phoebe Buffay : I'm so jealous you're all going! I can't believe I never knew that you can't fly in your third trimester! Chandler Bing : I didn't know that. Monica Geller : I never knew that either. Joey Tribbiani : I knew that! I sooo didn't know that, but you should see your faces. Rachel Green : Hey guys! What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Heyyy. Monica Geller : We're hanging out. Rachel Green : What's this? Is this Ross's wedding invitation? Chandler Bing : See, maybe that's the one we should've actually hidden. Rachel Green : Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you don't have to do that! I'm happy for him! I am! I really-I'm-I'm happ-I'll work on it. Monica Geller : I'm sorry honey. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Rach, you're gonna come though aren't you? Rachel Green : Oh, honey, I don't know. I... Chandler Bing : This isn't one of those uh, y'know "If she doesn't come, we-we don't, we don't come?" Right? Because I already bought my ticket... Monica Geller : You know what would be real weird? Is if you weren't there. Just say you'll think about it, okay? Rachel Green : No, I'll think about it. Yeah. Rachel Green : Who's this from? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's Ross's. Rachel Green : Oh... Oh my God. He remembered. Phoebe Buffay : Remembered what? Rachel Green : It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune. Monica Geller : I can't believe he did this. Chandler Bing : Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck? Rachel Green : What did you just say? Chandler Bing : F-hah.... flennin.... Rachel Green : Oh.... my God. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Julie : Well, Ross and I were in grad school together. Ross Geller : But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig. Rachel Green : Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick- you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? Ross Geller : Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. Well you didn't hang up either. Rachel Green : She didn't hang up either... Ross Geller : Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y- Rachel Green : Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat......I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. Ross Geller : Rach, I got a message from you. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . Ross Geller : You're over me? Rachel Green : Ohhhhhhhh God. Ross Geller : Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me? Rachel Green : Ohh, ohh. Ross Geller : When, when were you... under me? Rachel Green : Well, basically, lately, I've uh, I've uh, sort of had feelings for you. Ross Geller : OK, I need to lie down. Joey Tribbiani : He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Really. It's always been you, Rach. Rachel Green : Oh, god. Chandler Bing : Ohhh. Ross Geller : I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. Rachel Green : Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. Rachel Green : Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. Ross Geller : What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. Ross Geller : Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didn't say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place. Gunther : I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to? Ross Geller : Y'know, hey! You're the one who ended it, remember? Rachel Green : Yeah, because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you! Ross Geller : You still love me? Rachel Green : Noo. Ross Geller : What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together? Rachel Green : Noo! Maybe! I, I don't know. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : I just, I feel, I-I just... Rachel Green : Y'know I can't believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!! Ross Geller : FINE BY ME!! Rachel Green : And hey! Just so you know, it's not that common! It doesn't happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!! Chandler Bing : I KNEW IT!!!! Judy Geller : Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... Rachel Green : Oh my God. Monica Geller : You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this. #ALL# : Oh yeah we do. C'mon. Judy Geller : Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica. Jack Geller : Wait, how do you zoom out? There she is. Monica Geller : Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds. Chandler Bing : Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you? Monica Geller : Oh, dad, turn it off. Jack Geller : It is off. Right Ross? Joey Tribbiani : Lookin' good Mr. Cotter. Rachel Green : I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late. Monica Geller : If you're not going then I don't want to go either. Judy Geller : I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off. #ALL# : No, no, no. Ross Geller : OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright. Jack Geller : C'mon kid, let's go. Judy Geller : Ahh, are you hadsome. Jack Geller : Let's show 'em. Ross Geller : Okay dad. Jack Geller : Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining-Oh no. Chip Matthews : Bye. Judy Geller : Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off? Monica Geller : I can't believe you did that. Ross Geller : Yeah, well. Phoebe Buffay : See, he's her lobster. Monica Geller : Nooooo. You're really not going? Rachel Green : Yeah. It's just gonna be too hard. Y'know? I mean, it's Ross. How can I watch him get married? Y'know it's just, it's for the best, y'know it is, it's... Y'know, plus, somebody's got to stay here with Phoebe! Y'know she's gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour. Monica Geller : You don't have a car. And your license expired. Rachel Green : I know. Yeah, see, there's so much to do and I have so little time to do it in. Chandler Bing : All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that there's a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! "It's almost as good as being there." Joey Tribbiani : It's better! You can't go to a museum in your underwear! Chandler Bing : Well, You could, but... probably just the one time. Joey Tribbiani : I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside! Chandler Bing : If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood! Phoebe Buffay : That's like the tenth time I've peed since I've been here! Monica Geller : That's also like the tenth time you told us. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, oh I'm sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, it's a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! I'm so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, 'cause-Oh! I'm pregnant! Ross Geller : Pheebs, did...you want a cookie? Phoebe Buffay : Thank you so much. Rachel Green : So uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming? Phoebe Buffay : I haven't really had any yet. Ross Geller : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : All right, here's the ring. Chandler Bing : Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes! Ross Geller : So uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet? Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, don't you have to decide who your best man is gonna be? Chandler Bing : Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward. It's awkward. Ross Geller : I sort've already asked Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : What?! He got to do it at your first wedding! Ross Geller : Joey, I figured you'd understand. I mean, I-I've known him a lot longer. Joey Tribbiani : Come on Ross! Look, I-I don't have any brothers; I'll never get to be a best man! Chandler Bing : You can be the best man when I get married. Joey Tribbiani : I'll never get to be a best man! Ross Geller : Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, you-yeah, of course you get to be my best man. Joey Tribbiani : What about me?! You-you just said I could! Chandler Bing : I'm not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers! Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you're not picking me. Ross Geller : Hey, how can it not be me?!HeyHey! Chandler Bing : I'm not even... I'm not even... Ross Geller : Fine, y'know what, that's it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Shame about you man. Phoebe Buffay : Stop it! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : One of the babies is kicking. Monica Geller : I thought that was a good thing. Phoebe Buffay : It's not kicking me, it's kicking one of the other babies. Oh ! Don't make me come in there! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow? Monica Geller : Yeah, there's one right under the cabinet. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Monica Geller : Why do you need it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, we're having a big party tomorrow night. Later! Rachel Green : Whoa! Hey-hey, you planning on inviting us? Joey Tribbiani : Nooo, later. Phoebe Buffay : Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! Rachel Green : Hormones! Monica Geller : What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come you're having a party and we're not invited? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's Ross's bachelor party. Monica Geller : Sooo? Joey Tribbiani : Are you bachelors? Monica Geller : Nooo! Joey Tribbiani : Are you strippers? Rachel Green : Nooo! Joey Tribbiani : Then you're not invited. Rachel Green : All right fine! You're not invited to the party we're gonna have either. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-whoa, what party? Rachel Green : Well umm... Monica Geller : The baby shower for Phoebe! Joey Tribbiani : Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I don't want to do! Later! Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe I'm gonna have a party! This is so great! A party! Yay!! I don't know why. Joey Tribbiani : This is what I've got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor. Ross Geller : Great. Great. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, I've got you, me, and Chandler and I'm gonna invite Gunther 'cause, well, we've been talking about this pretty loud. Gunther : I'll be there. Joey Tribbiani : All right-oh! Listen, I know this is your party, but I'd really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there. Ross Geller : Yeah. Tell ya what, let's not invite any of the anthropologists, only the dinosaur dudes! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! We'll need a six-pack of Zima. Chandler Bing : Hey guys, what are you doing? Ross Geller : Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one. Ross Geller : Yeah, see, I don't think it's gonna that difficult considering this one won't be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm Ross. I'm Ross. I'm too good for the Hut; I'm too good for the Hut. Ross Geller : Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay? Joey Tribbiani : You got it. Ross Geller : Okay, see ya later. Chandler Bing : See ya. Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party. Joey Tribbiani : Well, there's gonna be strippers there. He didn't say anything about no strippers. Chandler Bing : He just said, "No strippers." Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I chose not to hear that. Monica Geller : Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! Can you believe they make these for little people? Rachel Green : Little village people. Monica Geller : Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. Rachel Green : Oh, that is so sweet! Monica Geller : I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these! Rachel Green : Huh. Except, Phoebe's not gonna be the one that gets to dress them. Monica Geller : Because she's not gonna get to keep the babies. Rachel Green : Oh my God! We are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever! Monica Geller : Wait a minute! Unless, we give her all gifts she can use after she's done being pregnant. Like-like umm, regular coffee, Tequila. Rachel Green : Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants she's always wanted! Monica Geller : Oh, she's gonna love that! Phoebe Buffay : What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I can't use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, what's my next present?! #ALL# : I don't have anything. Ross Geller : Hey listen man, about the stripper... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Ross Geller : Good call! Chandler Bing : Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. I've decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther! Gunther : What's my last name? Chandler Bing : Central Perk? Gunther : Thanks for not marrying Rachel. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther don't-don't forget your shirt. Ross Geller : Hey-hey, what are those? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, little party favours, check it out! Ross Geller : Wow! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, so is the position of the bride. The Stripper : Great! Ross Geller : Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. Thanks Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, don't forget your shirt. Ross Geller : Oh, thanks! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, hey, museum geeks, party's over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parent's basement. All right. Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right. The Stripper : Ohhh, look at the little birdies! Are those yours? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! The Stripper : Wow, I didn't know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. Hardly move. Be white. The Stripper : You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party. Joey Tribbiani : Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin' ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday... The Stripper : Yeah, that would be great. So I guess umm, good night. Joey Tribbiani : Oh unless you uh, you wanna hang around. The Stripper : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, stripper! Joey Tribbiani : The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring! Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : The ring is gone! Chandler Bing : Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for this-Ah-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! You're the worst best man ever! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, this isn't funny! What am I gonna do?! I go to bed last night, everything's cool! I wake up this morning, the stripper's gone and the ring is gone! Chandler Bing : You slept with the stripper? Joey Tribbiani : Of course!! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, guys. Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe. Monica Geller : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : I-I wanted to apologise if I-y'know seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Y'know it's just the hormones, y'know. Rachel Green : No we... Monica Geller : Hormones. Rachel Green : ...hormones, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. Monica Geller : Wow, you seem to be doing so much better. That's great. So how-how are things going? Phoebe Buffay : Good. Y'know-no-no, okay, it's-it feels like everything's been about me lately, so what's happening with you? Rachel Green : Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Ross's wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Rachel Green : It just might be too hard, given the history and all that... Phoebe Buffay : Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him. Rachel Green : Well, h-how is this like that? Phoebe Buffay : Well, let's see, it's not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like y'know a bunch of y'know high school crap that nobody really gives y'know... Rachel Green : I'm-I'm sorry, I just thought that... Phoebe Buffay : Alrighty, here come the water works. Joey Tribbiani : Ugh! I don't know what I'm going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they don't care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isn't an emergency, then what is? Ross Geller : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey... Ross Geller : I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Y'know, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so... Joey Tribbiani : So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, that's nice! Ross Geller : Yeah, right! Joey Tribbiani : I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those... Ross Geller : That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her. Chandler Bing : So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? Ross Geller : Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life. Chandler Bing : So you might say, it's a magic ring. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the stripper stole it. Ross Geller : My-my ring? My-my wedding ring? The-the stripper stole my wedding ring?! H-how?! How could this all happen?! Chandler Bing : Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why don't you be my best man." Ross Geller : All right-all right, fine! I-I'm gonna call the cops! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I screwed up, you don't have to turn me in! Ross Geller : Not on you! On the stripper! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said they're gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders. Ross Geller : Okay, well, we'll call the company that sent her! Joey Tribbiani : I did that too! They wouldn't give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again they'd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them I'm missing a ring!" Ross Geller : So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That there's nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?! Joey Tribbiani : Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I... Chandler Bing : Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that sounds like fun, but we've got a ring to find!! Monica Geller : Here's your tea Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : It's so good. Oh, thanks. Rachel Green : Good. Monica Geller : I'm so glad you liked it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : What?! She made the tea! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction. Rachel Green : You what? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one. Monica Geller : Wait, you can't have the baby here! I mean I haven't sterilised it since the guys moved out! Rachel Green : Okay. It's okay. We're gonna be okay. Y'know what? It's okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets! Phoebe Buffay : No. It's all right; it's probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book. Monica Geller : Rachel, get the book! The book! Rachel Green : Okay! Okay! Here! Monica Geller : The Bible?! Rachel Green : I don't know! Joey Tribbiani : All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she won't recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. You be Mr. Gonzalez, and I'll be uh, Mr. Wong. Ross Geller : Diverse. The Stripper : Did anybody call for security? Chandler Bing : You be cool. The Stripper : Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? Hey, Joey? Ross Geller : Where's my ring? My dead grandmother's wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it? Chandler Bing : Way to be cool, man. The Stripper : What's he talking about? Joey Tribbiani : There was a ring, in a box, on my nightstand, after you left, it was gone! The Stripper : Wait, you guys think I stole some ring? The Guys : Yeah! Ross Geller : We know you took so just-just save yourself the time and confess! The Stripper : Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I don't need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that? Chandler Bing : Marry me. Joey Tribbiani : I don't get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didn't take it, and I didn't take it; and you didn't take it, then who did? Shh! We're trying to think! Rachel Green : I still don't get how you know when it's false labour. Phoebe Buffay : Well, do you see any babies? Monica Geller : How do you feel? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I guess. I mean... I don't know, it's just, I guess I know it's going to be over soon. Rachel Green : Well, isn't that a good thing? You said you were sick of this. Phoebe Buffay : I know. It's just y'know usually when you're, when you're done with the pregnant thing, y'know, then you get to do the mom thing. I'm gonna be y'know, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila. Monica Geller : Some moms do that. Phoebe Buffay : Okay that's even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, it's just that now that they're in me it's like, it's like I know them y'know, I mean-I mean, it's just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away. Monica Geller : Aww, sweetie, but it's not like you're not gonna have anything. You're gonna have nieces and nephews, and some ways that's even better. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay. Rachel Green : No, really. Really, Pheebs, you're not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when they're bad, y'know, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just won't calm down. Y'know? Monica Geller : I mean, you're the one they're gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex. Rachel Green : And you just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool! Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : And y'know what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you. Phoebe Buffay : They are gonna love me. Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Thanks you guys! Again. Monica Geller : Oh, sweetie! Phoebe Buffay : You're the best. Thanks. Oh! Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Just kidding. Ahh! Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Got cha again, you guys are so easy. Joey Tribbiani : If anything should happen to him... Ross Geller : Joey! The vet said it's a simple procedure. Joey Tribbiani : So! Things can go wrong! You don't know! What if he doesn't make it?! Chandler Bing : He will, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but what if he doesn't? He's such a good duck. Joey Tribbiani : I'm so worried about him, y'know? The Doctor : Somebody lose a ring? Ross Geller : Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! Joey Tribbiani : H-h-h-how's the duck? The Doctor : He's doing just fine, he's resting now, but you can see him in a little bit. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this. Ross Geller : No, that's all right. Joey Tribbiani : No, it's not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down! Chandler Bing : Hey, come on, it's not your fault. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it is! You wouldn't have lost the ring, right? Y'know what, Ross you were right from the start, he should be your best man. Chandler Bing : No, you should. Joey Tribbiani : Now, don't argue with me... Ross Geller : Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys. Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my... I mean, I'm lucky to have just one good... Chandler Bing : Thanks man. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta go check something over here. Chandler Bing : What a baby. Ross Geller : Total wuss! Monica Geller : Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! Chandler Bing : Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica. Joey Tribbiani : What do you got there? Chandler Bing : Condoms, dude! Joey Tribbiani : How come the writing is in Spanish? Chandler Bing : Don't read my condoms! Monica Geller : Passport, check! Camera, check! Traveller's cheques, check! Rachel Green : Who are you saying "check" too? Monica Geller : Myself. Y'know for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! My mom does it, I never realised it was weird. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird. Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Are you ready yet? Monica Geller : Yep! You got the tickets? Ross Geller : Oh! Got 'em right here, check! Joey Tribbiani : It's all London, baby! Here we go. Chandler Bing : You got your passport? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You don't want to lose that. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh!! Chandler Bing : There it is. Monica Geller : Okay, if you need the vacuum, it's in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay, but Rachel's gonna be here too, can't I just ask her this stuff? Monica Geller : Yeah, okay, give that a try! Chandler Bing : All right! Let's do it! Joey Tribbiani : Woo-hoo!! Ross Geller : Yeah, cheerie-o! Joey Tribbiani : London baby! Chandler Bing : Okay, 'cause that's not gonna get annoying. Joey Tribbiani : London baby!! Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what? I was wrong. Ross Geller : Well, we're all here! I guess we should get going! Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I don't-can't get up. Ross Geller : Oh, I'll-I'll come hug you. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper? Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, have a great wedding! Ross Geller : Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, it's on the counter in your apartment. Chandler Bing : Oh. Ross Geller : So, we're off. Rachel Green : Have fun! Ross Geller : Thanks! Ugh, I can't believe you're not gonna be there! Rachel Green : Oh, I know. Ross Geller : So-so come! Why don't you come? Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : To London! Come to London. Please? It'll mean so much to me. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, I gotta work, I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Why-why can't you take a couple of days off? Rachel Green : Because, I can't! Ross, I told you, no. I can't. Ross Geller : This is my wedding. Monica Geller : All right, y'know what? We really are late! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!! Ross Geller : Fine. You'll-you'll watch it on video when we get back. Chandler Bing : Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Ross Geller : All right, let's go! Bye, Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : Bye, Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : London baby!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, do you need a hug? You don't have to bring me anything! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Do something! Chandler Bing : I am, I'm ignoring you. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here! I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. Chandler Bing : Oh, what the hell is that? Joey Tribbiani : It's London, baby! All right, the hotel's here. Wait. No, we wanna go... No. I know. I'm gonna have to go into the map. Chandler Bing : Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it! Joey Tribbiani : I got it! Here we go. Chandler Bing : Okay. Listen-listen, we're not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we? Joey Tribbiani : Shhh! Man, you made me lose it! Emily Waltham : ...and that was all before 10 o'clock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there aren't any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. We're not gonna be... Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa! Emily, honey, okay? Emily Waltham : Well, up yours too! Ross Geller : What?! Emily Waltham : Oh, that's not what it means? Ross Geller : No! No! That's-that's time-out! Emily Waltham : Sorry. Ross Geller : Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everything's gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come on. Monica Geller : Chicken Kiev? Ross Geller : Um-hmm! Doesn't that sound delicious at the last minute? Monica Geller : Yeah, y'know, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldn't have to worry about the salmonella. But of course with salmon you'd have to worry about the chickenella... So, I can't wait to see this place you're getting married! Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emily's parents got married here. Emily Waltham : I still can't believe they're tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building you'll ever see. I mean it's over... Oh my God! Monica Geller : It's nice. Emily Waltham : Oh. Oh. Emily Waltham : Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do? Ross Geller : It's all right! Everything's gonna be all right. Emily Waltham : How's it gonna be all right?! Ross Geller : Uh-huh, I see that. Monica Geller : Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened. Ross Geller : What? What? Monica Geller : They tore it down a few days early. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey I've ever seen. Hey! Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler? Chandler Bing : I think it's great. It's great. Y'know, they're thinking of changing the name of this place. Joey Tribbiani : Really? To what? Chandler Bing : To Put the Camera Away!!! Joey Tribbiani : Man, you are Westminster Crabby. Monica Geller : Don't worry. You'll find some place to get married. Monica Geller : Oowww!! Dressmaker : Sorry. Lucky this dress is red! Emily Waltham : We can't find another place. Then we can't have the wedding! I've ordered chicken and salad and-and cake for 150. What should be the most wonderful day of my life is rapidly turning into just Sunday with a spectacular amount of food! Monica Geller : You're gonna find a place. But even if - God forbid - you didn't.. So you postpone the wedding. Is that really so bad? I mean, think about it. You could take all the time you needed to get everything that you want. You could have tulips, you could have salmon.... Mmmmm... Salmon!! Emily Waltham : I suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world... Oh, thank you! Monica Geller : But either way... You're gonna get married, you're gonna be happy, my mom's gonna like you better than me. Monica Geller : Oh, god... She's told you that already, didn't she?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oh. Rachel Green : Oh, honey! Don't get up! What do you need? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no. Oh, nothing. Rachel Green : Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I have a wedgie. Rachel Green : Okay, that is all you. Phoebe Buffay : So-so, what do you want for lunch? Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know. I guess we have to eat. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I do. What's the matter? Rachel Green : I'm just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldn't have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me. Phoebe Buffay : Eh, don't be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married... Rachel Green : Still in love with?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : I'm not in love with Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither. Rachel Green : Phoebe, I'm going to Ross's wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, I'm still in love with him! I mean, hey, y'know, I like Ross as much as the next guy, y'know? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings don't mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesn't mean that-that I'm still in love with him. Y'know? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him-Ohh! Oh my God! Oh my-why didn't you tell me?!! Phoebe Buffay : We thought you knew! Rachel Green : We?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we all know! We talk about it all the time! Rachel Green : You all know? Does Ross know? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, Ross doesn't know anything. Rachel Green : Oh, I can not believe you didn't tell me! Phoebe Buffay : Well, because we thought you knew!! It's so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean." Or, y'know, "Hey, Joey, you're gay." Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, please! She's always got a broom in her hand! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! The Vendor : So, what are you guys in the market for? We've got uh, scarves, tulip post cards... Joey Tribbiani : Check this out? Huh? Yeah. That's the stuff. What do you think? Chandler Bing : Well, I don't have to buy that, "I'm with stupid" T-shirt anymore. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I like it. Here you go. Chandler Bing : All right, look, you're not really gonna buy that are you? Don't you think you've embarrassed me enough for one day? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I embarrass you? Chandler Bing : How can I answer that when I'm pretending I don't know you? The Vendor : He's just jealous. You'll fit right in; all Londoners wear them! Chandler Bing : Oh really? Then how come no one here is wearing them? The Vendor : They're all tourists. Chandler Bing : All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, y'know, you're gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? If you're gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat. The Vendor : Good choice. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Chandler Bing : Okay, wait. All right, that's it, okay, I'm out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! Joey Tribbiani : How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani, America. Emily Waltham : Hello? Ross Geller : Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think we'll be able to find a new place for the wedding. Emily Waltham : We don't have to. Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa-what? You found a place? Emily Waltham : No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit. Ross Geller : She said what? Emily Waltham : She said, "If I'm not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it." Ross Geller : Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sister's teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? This isn't right. Emily Waltham : I realise that people are going to be disappointed. But, I'm sure they'll come back when we can do it right. Ross Geller : I can't ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? Emily Waltham : Don't you point your pants at me! We have no choice! Anywhere that's half-decent would've be booked months ago, Ross don't you understand? This is our wedding I'm talking about. Ross Geller : The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when we're getting married. Emily Waltham : So what are you saying? It's now or never? Ross Geller : No. I'm saying it's now. Emily Waltham : Or? Ross Geller : There's no 'or' in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!! Emily Waltham : It's not the pants. It's you that is backwards. And if, and if you don't understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldn't get married at all! Ross Geller : No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please- Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross? Rachel Green : Manhattan does not have enough stores. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think I can help you get over him. Rachel Green : You can? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross. Rachel Green : Um-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : And a small piece of chocolate. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : And a glass of tepid water. Rachel Green : Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree? Phoebe Buffay : Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didn't feel like getting up. Okay, I'm gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And you're going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws. Rachel Green : I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think he's such a great guy. Here. Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that you're with Ross okay and imagine that you're kissing him. And you're-you're running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross it's some kind of grease, it's-uck! Hah? Rachel Green : I don't know, his uh, his hair never really bothered me that much, and y'know it was always more crunchy than it was greasy. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, let's try some uh, aversion therapy. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay? Rachel Green : All right. Phoebe Buffay : So uh, now look at the picture... Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : All right, and umm... Rachel Green : Ow! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, how do you feel now? Rachel Green : Well, I like you less! Chandler Bing : Well, this is just as boring in England. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Sorry! Chandler Bing : No-no-no, y'know what? I really shouldn't have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasn't cool. And if it makes you feel any better, I've had a really lousy day. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Noo!! I've had the best day ever! Dude, check this out! Now, I'm gonna fastforward past the part with you, 'cause it is boring. Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Sh-shh-shh! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat. Fergie : Okay, so umm, what's your friend's name? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Chandler. Fergie : Hi Chandler! Chandler Bing : That's... That's was... Monica Geller : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : That's Fergie baby!! Fergie : Joey says you don't really like his hat, but I think it's kinda dashing. Joey Tribbiani : So, I hear you're single now... Fergie : Yeah, ummm, I don't like the hat that much. Chandler Bing : How did you? How? How? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, I'm in my map and-and... Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily. Monica Geller : Yes, I did! And you are welcome! Ross Geller : Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?! Monica Geller : Umm... Chandler Bing : I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Wait up! Ross Geller : Hey-hey, since you're the 'fix-it' lady, here's a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesn't want to have the wedding at all? Monica Geller : She said that?! Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Why?! Ross Geller : I don't know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out. Monica Geller : Oh my God. You're even dumber than I am! Ross Geller : Excuse me? Monica Geller : Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding? Ross Geller : I don't know. A month? Monica Geller : Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That's what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake , with the little people on top. Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was. Ross Geller : I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the flying nun. Monica Geller : Sometimes we were. Ross Geller : Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay? Monica Geller : Okay. Ross Geller : Come on. Chandler Bing : That was pretty intense huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Hey, I hope Ross didn't think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here! Chandler Bing : I hope he did! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! I thought of a good flaw! Ross pops his gum! Rachel Green : Oh, right! Wait a minute, I do that too. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know. It drives me crazy. Phoebe Buffay : I'll get it. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs! It's Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on the-that looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say 'hi!' but then I figured, he doesn't care if he looks like you. Joey Tribbiani : That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, they're having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasn't been helpful at all. So, do you miss me? Joey Tribbiani : Kinda, but I've just been having way too much fun. Phoebe Buffay : So you're not homesick yet? Joey Tribbiani : No, I don't think so. Phoebe Buffay : All right, the seven of us miss you. Joey Tribbiani : Who's seven? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies... Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, the babies miss me? Phoebe Buffay : Of course they do! Or I'm just really hungry. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, the pizza guy's here! Joey Tribbiani : What? You ordered pizza without me?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. But y'know we were thinking about you, y'know we ordered the Joey Special. Joey Tribbiani : Two pizzas?! Phoebe Buffay : Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later. Joey Tribbiani : Wait, well, where did you get it from?! Emily Waltham : Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?! Monica Geller : You'll see. Emily Waltham : I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen. Emily Waltham : Oh God. Ross Geller : Okay? But-but imagine a lot more lights, okay? And-and y'know fewer bricks, and-and-and flowers, and candles... Monica Geller : And the musicians, look, they can go over here , okay? And the chairs can face this way , and... You go. Ross Geller : But-but, if you don't love this, we'll do it in any other place at any other time. Really, it's fine, whatever you want. Emily Waltham : It's perfect. Ross Geller : And, I don't know, if it starts to rain... Emily Waltham : Well then we'll get wet. Monica Geller : Ohh. And I don't even have a date. Rachel Green : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : Do you remember where the duck food is? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's in the guys' apartment under the sink. Why? Rachel Green : Because I'm going to London. Phoebe Buffay : What?! What do you mean you're going to London? Rachel Green : Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you don't have those babies until I get back. Phoebe Buffay : But what about all the "finding-his-flaws" stuff we've been doing? Rachel Green : Yeah, that didn't work. Phoebe Buffay : I-Rachel, you can't go! Ross loves Emily! Rachel Green : Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision. Phoebe Buffay : That's not why you're going! You're going because you hope he's gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy." Rachel Green : Ohh-Do you think he will?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Because he's in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, you're just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Y'know, it's too late! You missed you're chance! I'm sorry, I know this must be really hard, it's over. Rachel Green : Y'know what? No. It's not over until someone says, "I do." Phoebe Buffay : I do! I do! I do! I do! Ugh, like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter. Housekeeper : The Waltham Residence. Phoebe Buffay : Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emily's Parents' house. Housekeeper : This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses a person on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak. Phoebe Buffay : What are you saying?! Housekeeper : Now, let us try that again, shall we? Phoebe Buffay : No! Ooh! Oh my god! Housekeeper : The Waltham Residence. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if it's not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please? Housekeeper : Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and it's not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye. Phoebe Buffay : No no no, I'll be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are? Housekeeper : I'm afraid, I'm not at liberty to divulge that information. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you don't give me that number then I'm going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire. Housekeeper : Hangs up. Phoebe Buffay : Hello, Hello. Ohh, OHH, she knew I could kick her ass. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Hi. Mom. Dad. Judy Geller : Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube. Jack Geller : Judy, the kids.. Judy Geller : Jack, that's what they call the subway. Jack Geller : Ohh, I thought that you.... Monica Geller : Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!! Emily Waltham : Ohh, here comes my dad and stepmum. Mister and Misses Geller, this is Steven and Andrea Waltham. Stephen Waltham : Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. Darling it's the Gellers. Darling, it's the Gellers. She's very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her. Andrea Waltham : Sorry, what? Stephen Waltham : It's the Gellers! Andrea Waltham : Where? Stephen Waltham : Well there's one and there's another . Andrea Waltham : Lovely to meet you. Stephen Waltham : Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. Jack Geller : Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, we're happy to do it. Judy Geller : We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw . Monica Geller : Ha ha, a joke that's funny in all countries. Waiter : Sir? Joey Tribbiani : What's in it? Waiter : Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. Joey Tribbiani : That's not food...No, I don't, no... Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I can't even remember what Phoebe looks like. Chandler Bing : Joey, it's been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Your different here too. Your mean in England. Jack Geller : What the hell!!! Ross Geller : what's up, Dad? Jack Geller : This bill for my half of the wedding. it's insane. Judy Geller : How could it be so much? The receptions at their house. Jack Geller : Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. I'm paying to remodel this guys house. I'm going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind. Ross Geller : Dad, dad, please. Look I don't want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay? Jack Geller : And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers. Judy Geller : Ooh, Jack.... Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. Monica Geller : And I'm going to go get drunk. Rachel Green : Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. Hi. Ticket Agent : Hello. Rachel Green : Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London? Ticket Agent : There's one leaving in thirty minutes. Rachel Green : Ohh, good. Ticket Agent : And I do have one seat left. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Ticket Agent : The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars. Rachel Green : Huh.. How about 600? Ticket Agent : Sorry. Rachel Green : How about 600 and these earrings? Ticket Agent : They prefer it if I don't barter. Rachel Green : Ohh, I just don't think I have enough left on my credit card. Ticket Agent : Well you can split it with another credit card. Rachel Green : Ohh, okay, how about five. Ohh, thank you. Ticket Agent : I'm just going to need to see your passport. Rachel Green : Okay, you know what? I don't have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. Ticket Agent :  Ross Geller : Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn. Stephen Waltham : Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments. Ross Geller : I go back there with lawn ornaments, he's going to laugh in my face. Andrea Waltham : This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. Will you say something, Steven?! Please!!! Stephen Waltham : Don't take that tone with me. All-all right you can. Rachel Green : Hi, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and... Rachel Green : Bye, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?! Chandler Bing : I'd like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. And I thought things were going to work out for him.. Until the day he over inflated her. Ohh, Dear God.. Andrea Waltham : Hello, Waltham Interiors. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Ross's sister Monica. Andrea Waltham : Who is this? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm Phoebe Buffay. I'm one of Ross's best friends. Andrea Waltham : Where did you get this number? Phoebe Buffay : I got it from your maid. She's a bitch, but I wore her down. Andrea Waltham : Well, if you're one of Ross's best friends, why aren't you here? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, um, I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies. Andrea Waltham : Oh, am I on the radio? Phoebe Buffay : No..umm, could I talk to one of them? It's very very important. Andrea Waltham : No, I'm bored with you now. I'm going to cut you off. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Okay, I'm going to have to kick her ass too. Chandler Bing : And I'm sure we're all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now I'm not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. But not as much as I love America. Could we please..go home now? Felicity : Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. Monica Geller : I was laughing. Chandler Bing : Out loud? Monica Geller : Well I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid. Chandler Bing : So how are you doing? Monica Geller : My mother's driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. I'm happy. I'm not going to let anything spoil that. Drunk Man : I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man. Monica Geller : Well, thanks, we like him. Drunk Man : My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. Jack Geller : There's no way in hell, I'm paying for it. Ross Geller : Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding. Jack Geller : All-right fine, but I just want to say, I'm not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it weren't for us, cheap little man. Chandler Bing : The guy was hammered, okay? There's no way, you look like Ross's mother. Monica Geller : Then why would he say it? Chandler Bing : Because he's crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic. Monica Geller : Oh, my mother's right. I'm never going to get married. Chandler Bing : Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldn't want you? Monica Geller : Ohh, Please?! I'm a single mom, with a thirty year old son!! Rachel Green : Hi, I'm back. Listen, I need to... Ticket Agent : Hello. Rachel Green : Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight. Ticket Agent : Oh I'm afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate. Rachel Green : Okay, you know what? You're going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up. Ticket Agent : I can't do that. Rachel Green : Sure, you know what? Come on, we'll just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine". Ticket Agent : I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss. Rachel Green : Look, If I don't get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!! Ticket Agent : I can't imagine why. Rachel Green : All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! Ross Geller : I'm getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!! Chandler Bing : Morning, Ross. Ross Geller : I'm getting married, to..day!! Chandler Bing : Yeah you are!! Ross Geller : Ahh, whoo-hoo!! Monica Geller : Do you think he knew I was here? Rachel Green : Ohhh. Passenger : Ahh, ahh, excuse me. Rachel Green : Yeah? Passenger : If you're planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one. Rachel Green : Oh. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Sorry. It's just, I'm ahh, I'm kinda excited. I'm, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I love him and... Chandler Bing : Well I've-I've never done that with you before. Monica Geller : Nope. Chandler Bing : So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay? Monica Geller : Yep, yep...You? Chandler Bing : Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You? We did you. Monica Geller : Well...I'd better get going. Chandler Bing : Oh yea yea, absolutely. Monica Geller : Could you not look? Chandler Bing : I don't want to look. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, were the hell have you been?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so... Phoebe Buffay : I don't want to hear about her!! Joey Tribbiani : Ahh Pheebs, you know you're still my number one girl. Phoebe Buffay : No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachel's coming to London. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh great!!! Phoebe Buffay : No it's not great. No, she's coming to tell Ross that she loves him. Joey Tribbiani : But, he loves Emily? Phoebe Buffay : I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! She's going to ruin the wedding!! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so, okay... Joey Tribbiani : Hold on. Hold on. Rachel coming. Do...Something. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so I'm done my part, okay. It's your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right? Joey Tribbiani : Right! Phoebe Buffay : So tell me about this girl? Rachel Green : ...And so then I realised. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldn't come to the wedding. Was all just a way of... Passenger : Oh, oh oh!! I'm sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person. Rachel Green : Ehh, pardon me? Passenger : You say you love this man, yet you're about to ruin the happiest day of his life. I'm afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan. Rachel Green : But he has to know how I feel! Passenger : But why? He loves this...this Emily person. No good can come of this. Rachel Green : Well I-I think your wrong. Passenger : Oh-no. Rachel Green : Well, he doesn't really love her. I mean, it's just a rebound thing from me.... You'll see! Passenger : Fortunately, I won't. And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. Joey Tribbiani : Do something..... Something.... Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Have you seen Monica? Chandler Bing : I'm not seeing Monica. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Look we've got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachel's coming to tell Ross she loves him!! Chandler Bing : Oh my god! Joey Tribbiani : I know! That's why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is? Chandler Bing : No!! Okay!! What's with the third degree?! Why don't you just shine a light in my eyes?! Judy Geller : Oh my God! It's like a fairyland. Andrea Waltham : I know, it's horrible isn't it? Monica Geller : Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good. Judy Geller : I just hope... Monica Geller : You can let some of them go by! Joey Tribbiani : Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. I'll cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross. Monica Geller : Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I don't even like Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : I do. I do. I do. Chandler Bing : Oh yea, your right. It's the second one. Ross Geller : Really? Felicity : Hello Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Felicity. Felicity : Umm, I thought about you all day. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Felicity : Um-hum. Talk New York to me again. Joey Tribbiani : Fuggetaboutit. How you doin? Felicity : Mmm. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Judy Geller : There's nothing to discuss. We're not paying for your wine cellar. Stephen Waltham : You-you have to meet me in the middle here. Jack Geller : Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass. Ross Geller : Dad!! Emily Waltham : What-what's going on?! Ross Geller : Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control. Stephen Waltham : You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? You want a piece of me? Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! That's it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! That's right!! Jack Geller : Okay, okay. Stephen Waltham : Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I could kill you with my thumb, you know. Emily Waltham : What was all that about? Ross Geller : It was...This disagreement over... My god. You...you look beautiful. Emily Waltham : Ohh... Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. It's bad luck. Ross Geller : You know what, I think we've had all the bad luck we're going to have. Ross Geller : My God. Rachel! Your here. I can't believe it. What happen? Why are you here? Rachel Green : Well I just came... I just needed to tell you... Congratulations. Andrea Waltham : Hello, Waltham Interiors. Phoebe Buffay : Mrs. Waltham. Hi. It's Phoebe again. Andrea Waltham : Why?! Phoebe Buffay : Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise. Andrea Waltham : Joey there's a girl on the phone for you. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh great!! Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, it's Phoebe. Did you stop Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : No, but it's okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it. Phoebe Buffay : So nothing got ruined? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's so great! Ohh, so what's going on now? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, I'm-I'm walking down the aisle...Still walking. I'm about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. Hey! I told her "Hey." And now I'm at the front with Ross. It's Phoebe. He looks pretty mad. Uh...I'd better go. Phoebe Buffay : No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. Chandler Bing : What we did last night was.... Monica Geller : Stupid. Chandler Bing : Totally crazy stupid. Monica Geller : What were we thinking? Chandler Bing : I'm coming over tonight though, right? Monica Geller : Oh yeah. Definitely. Minister : Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily... Emily Waltham : I, Emily... Minister : Take thee Ross... Emily Waltham : Take thee Ross... Minister : As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death parts us. Emily Waltham : As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Minister : Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross... Ross Geller : I Ross... Minister : Take thee, Emily... Ross Geller : Take thee, Rachel... Emily. Emily. Rachel Green : He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there? Minister : Uhh...Shall I go on? Emily Waltham : Yes, yes, do go on. Jack Geller : He better go on for what I'm paying. Stephen Waltham : After what he just said, you're paying for the whole bloody lot. Minister : I think we'd better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross... Ross Geller : I, Ross... Minister : Take thee, EM-I-LY... Ross Geller : Take thee, Emily. Like there'd be anybody else. Minister : As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts us. Andrea Waltham : Looks like that might come any minute. Ross Geller : As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily. Minister : May I have the rings? Emily, place this ring on Ross's finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever. Ross Geller : Happy to. Minister : Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife. Ross Geller : Yay! Minister : You may kiss the bride. Judy Geller : This is worse than when he married the lesbian. Emily Waltham : Just keep smiling. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Well, that went well. Yeah. Chandler Bing : It could've been worse, he could've shot her. Ross Geller : That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasn't it? Emily Waltham : You've spoiled everything! It's like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right? Ross Geller : That-that-that's all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. I'll be right out here. She's just fixing her makeup. Emily Waltham : I hate you!! Ross Geller : And, I love you!! Jack Geller : Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross? Ross Geller : That's true, thanks dad. People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! Andrea Waltham : Yes, Waltham interiors. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Philange. Andrea Waltham : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I've discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh women's names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own. Andrea Waltham : Oh my God, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too! Phoebe Buffay : Hello? What kind of bitch hangs up on a doctor! Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Oh wow, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, I'm just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship. Monica Geller : I know. How could we have let this happen? Chandler Bing : Seven times! Monica Geller : Ugh! Well, y'know, we were away... Chandler Bing : In a foreign, romantic country... Monica Geller : I blame London. Chandler Bing : Bad London! Monica Geller : So look umm, while we're st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right? Chandler Bing : Well, I don't see that we have a choice. But, when we're back home, we don't do it. Monica Geller : Only here. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs... Monica Geller : I'll meet you there in two minutes. Chandler Bing : Okay! Rachel Green : Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something. Monica Geller : Now? Rachel Green : Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can't pretend that didn't happen can I? Monica Geller : Oh, I-I don't know. Rachel Green : Monica, what should I do? Monica Geller : Just uh, do the right thing. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! Rachel Green : Whoa, wait, listen, I think I'm just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant. Monica Geller : Wait. Rachel, no, he's married. Married! If you don't realise that, I can't help you. Rachel Green : Okay, you're right. You're right. You can't help me. Judy Geller : Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents? Stephen Waltham : Yes. Jack Geller : Oh yeah, well who serves steak when there's no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's up? Joey Tribbiani : You and me, next dance? Andrea Waltham : Sweetheart, sweetheart... Rachel Green : Yes? Andrea Waltham : You know, we're all wondering who this Rachel is. Can you point her out to me? Rachel Green : Oh, you know what? Rachel.. She just left. Andrea Waltham : Oh.. Never mind. Who are you? Rachel Green : Ra.... Er.. Barbra. Andrea Waltham : Red Barbra? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar? Chandler Bing : Forget it, that's off. Monica Geller : Why?! Stephen Waltham : The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes... Monica Geller : Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldn't eat meat until she has the babies! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I figured we're in another country, so it doesn't count. Monica Geller : That's true. Chandler Bing : The man's got a point. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Sorry, things aren't working out so well. Ross Geller : Oh no! It could be better, but it's gonna be okay, right? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, she's gonna get over this, y'know? I mean, so you said my name! Y'know you just said it 'cause you saw me there, if you'd have seen a circus freak, you would've said, "I take thee circus freak." Y'know, it didn't mean anything, it's just a mistake. It didn't mean anything. Right? Ross Geller : No! No! Of course it didn't mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, y'know, because-because it was you... Rachel Green : Right... Ross Geller : But it absolutely didn't. It didn't!! It didn't!! Joey Tribbiani : Ross, hey, the band's ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so... Ross Geller : Oh! Oh-oh, the band's ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says-I don't care about the stupid band!! Joey Tribbiani : You spit on me man! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh? Rachel Green : Y'know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame. Ross Geller : Oh, right! Rachel Green : Get the hell out of there, y'know? Ross Geller : Emily? Emily? I'm coming in. Rachel Green : Well, look at that, same thing. Chandler Bing : Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me. Monica Geller : Oh my God, Rachel! Hi! Chandler Bing : Oh, hello Rachel. Rachel Green : Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Monica Geller : How did you get in here? Rachel Green : If anybody asks, I'm your sister, Joan. Listen. C'mon, you guys. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! Chandler Bing : Your sister Joan is crazy. Rachel Green : Y'know what? Fine, I don't care. Don't believe me, I know I'm right-do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink? Chandler Bing : Yes, we do. But, we have to change first. Monica Geller : Yes, I want to change. And why-why don't you go down and get us a table? Chandler Bing : Yeah, we'll be down in like five minutes. Monica Geller : Fifteen minutes. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Hello? Oh, Pheebs! It's Phoebe! Chandler Bing : Oh, yay... Monica Geller : Great... Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, so what happened? Rachel Green : Well, Ross said my name. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, but I don't think that means anything. Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, y'know what, let's look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then... Chandler Bing : Hey, listen, why don't we go change in my room? Monica Geller : But my clothes are-ohh! Chandler Bing : Wow, you look... Monica Geller : No time for that! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here! Chandler Bing : Well, I've got a girl in here. Joey Tribbiani : No you don't, I just saw you go in there with Monica! Chandler Bing : Well, we're-we're hanging out in here! Joey Tribbiani : Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you? Chandler Bing : Well, I suppose I'd have to say you!! But, what if we're watching a movie in here? Monica Geller : Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. It's My Giant! Joey Tribbiani : My Giant? I love that movie! Monica Geller : You really think this is okay? Chandler Bing : Well, Ross and Emily aren't gonna use it. Monica Geller : Oh, it's so beautiful. Ohh! Y'know, I-I don't know if I feel right about this. Chandler Bing : Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Ross Geller : Emily?! Chandler Bing : Nope, not under here! Monica Geller : You didn't find her? Ross Geller : No, I've looked everywhere! Chandler Bing : Well, you couldn't have looked everywhere or else you would've found her! Monica Geller : Yeah, I think you should keep looking! Chandler Bing : Yeah, for about 30 minutes. Monica Geller : Or 45. Chandler Bing : Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. Ross Geller : No! For all I know, she's trying to find me but couldn't because I kept moving around. No, from now on, I'm staying in one place. Right here. Monica Geller : Well, it's getting late. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we're gonna go. Ross Geller : Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while? Monica Geller : Ugh, y'know, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's a very large plane. Ross Geller : That's cool. Chandler Bing : But, we'll stay here with you. Ross Geller : Thanks guys! I really appreciate this, y'know, but you don't have to rub my butt. Chandler Bing : We have to leave for New York in an hour. Monica Geller : I know, I've been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, don't you think? Chandler Bing : We can't do that that's insane. I mean 'A' he could wake up and 'B' y'know, let's go for it. Ross Geller : Em-Emily? Em-Emily? Emily! Stephen Waltham : No. Andrea Waltham : You can forget about Emily, she's not with us. Stephen Waltham : We've come for her things. Ross Geller : Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she? Stephen Waltham : She's in hiding. She's utterly humiliated. She doesn't want to see you ever again. Andrea Waltham : We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey. But, I think you're absolutely delicious. Stephen Waltham : Excuse me, I'm standing right here! Andrea Waltham : Oh yes, there you are. Rachel Green : Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, there's a whole cart outside... Stephen Waltham : Goodbye Geller. Ross Geller : Now, hold on! Hold on! Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that I'm gonna be at that airport and I hope that she'll be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachel's name, but it didn't mean anything, Okay? She's-she's just a friend and that's all! That's all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that you'll tell her that. Stephen Waltham : All right, I'll tell her. Come on bugger face! Andrea Waltham : Call me. Stephen Waltham : You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don't you ever go out the bloody window! Monica Geller : Y'know, maybe it's best that we never got to do it again. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. Y'know, technically we still are over international waters. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I'll see you there in a bit? Chandler Bing : 'Kay! Joey Tribbiani : Can I ask you something? Chandler Bing : Uhh, no. Joey Tribbiani : Felicity and I, we're watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "I'm never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think I'm just wasting my life with this acting thing? Chandler Bing : No. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, y'know, you think I'll ever get there? Chandler Bing : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man. Chandler Bing : Okay man. Joey Tribbiani : But what about how much taller he is than me? Joey Tribbiani : I mean, there's no way I can make myself taller now, y'know? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, wow you've been in the bathroom for like a half-hour. Monica Geller : I know! Joey Tribbiani : Had the beef-tips, huh? Ross Geller : Rach! Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! What are you, what are you doing here? Rachel Green : Well, I-I-I've been on Standby for a flight home for hours. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh? Ross Geller : Not yet. Rachel Green : So umm, what time are you supposed to leave? Gate Agent : This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call. Ross Geller : Pretty soon I guess. Rachel Green : Yeah. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : I just, I don't understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Y'know, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she'd actually show up? Rachel Green : No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love. Ross Geller : Same difference. Gate Agent : All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board. Ross Geller : I get it! Well, that's that. Rachel Green : No, you know what, I think you should go. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think it'd be really good. Ross Geller : Oh, I don't, I don't, I don't know... Rachel Green : Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you! Ross Geller : I could, yeah, I can do that. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : I can't, I can't even believe her! No, y'know what, I am, I am gonna go! Rachel Green : Good! Ross Geller : I know, why not? Rachel Green : Right! Ross Geller : Right? Rachel Green : Right! Ross Geller : Y'know-thanks! Rachel Green : Okay, I'll see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here. Ross Geller : Yeah, well...nah. Rachel Green : What? Wait, what? Ross Geller : Why don't you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not? Rachel Green : Well-well, I don't know Ross-really? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, it'll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend. Rachel Green : Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that! Ross Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Okay! Ross Geller : Cool! Rachel Green : All right! Ross Geller : Come on! Here. Rachel Green : Oh, okay, we're going. Yeah. Ross Geller : Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket! Rachel Green : Oh, wait-wait-wait... Ross Geller : You tell them to wait! Rachel Green : Okay. Wait! Wait! Ross Geller : Emily. Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! No! No! Emily! Rachel Green : Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot Air Hostess : Okay. Rachel Green : And uh, he will have a white wine spritzer. Air Hostess : Okay, good. Thank you. I'll be back shortly, all right? Rachel Green : All right. Woo! Hey, look at that, the airport's moving. Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? They said they were gonna wait! Miss? Yeah, does the captain know that we're moving? Oh my... Ross, you better be under the wheels of this thing!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : You ate meat! You had sex! Chandler Bing : No we didn't! Phoebe Buffay : I know you didn't, I was talking about Monica. Monica Geller : Phoebe, I did not have sex. Phoebe Buffay : This pregnancy is throwing me all off. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm gonna go say hi the chick and the duck. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, me too! Joey Tribbiani : Why would you need to say hi to them, you've been feeding them for four days? Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, maybe I'll just go home. Monica Geller : Well, we certainly are alone. Chandler Bing : Yes! Good thing we have that, 'Not in New York' rule. Monica Geller : Right. Umm, listen since we're-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross's mother... Chandler Bing : Right. Monica Geller : Well, an-anyway, I just-that night meant a lot to me, I guess I'm just trying to say thanks. Chandler Bing : Oh. Y'know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn't because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me 'cause, you're really hot! Is that okay? Monica Geller : That's okay. Chandler Bing : And I'm cute too. Monica Geller : And you're cute too. Chandler Bing : Thank you! All right, I gotta go unpack. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Bye. Chandler Bing : I'm still on London time, does that count? Monica Geller : That counts! Chandler Bing : Oh, good! Minister : Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross... Ross Geller : I Ross... Minister : Take thee, Emily... Ross Geller : Take thee, Rachel... Emily. Emily. Minister : Uhh...Shall I go on? Rachel Green : He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there? Emily Waltham : Yes, yes, do go on. Minister : I think we'd better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross... Ross Geller : I, Ross... Minister : Take thee, EM-I-LY... Ross Geller : Take thee, Emily. Like there'd be anybody else. Minister : As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts us. Ross Geller : As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily. Minister : May I have the rings? Emily, place this ring on Ross's finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever. Ross Geller : Happy too. Minister : Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife. Ross Geller : Yay! Minister : You may kiss the bride. Judy Geller : This is worse than when he married the lesbian. Emily Waltham : Just keep smiling. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Well, that went well. Yeah. Chandler Bing : It could've been worse, he could've shot her. Ross Geller : That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasn't it? Emily Waltham : You've spoiled everything! It's like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right? Ross Geller : That-that-that's all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. I'll be right out here. She's just fixing her makeup. Emily Waltham : I hate you!! Ross Geller : And, I love you!! Jack Geller : Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross? Ross Geller : That's true, thanks dad. People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! Andrea Waltham : Yes, Waltham interiors. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Philange. Andrea Waltham : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I've discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh women's names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own. Andrea Waltham : Oh my God, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too! Phoebe Buffay : Hello? Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Oh wow, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, I'm just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship. Monica Geller : I know. How could we have let this happen? Chandler Bing : Seven times! Monica Geller : Ugh! Well, y'know, we were away... Chandler Bing : In a foreign, romantic country... Monica Geller : I blame London. Chandler Bing : Bad London! Monica Geller : So look umm, while we're st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right? Chandler Bing : Well, I don't see that we have a choice. But, when we're back home, we don't do it. Monica Geller : Only here. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs... Monica Geller : I'll meet you there in two minutes. Chandler Bing : Okay! Rachel Green : Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something. Monica Geller : Now? Rachel Green : Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can't pretend that didn't happen can I? Monica Geller : Oh, I-I don't know. Rachel Green : Monica, what should I do? Monica Geller : Just uh, do the right thing. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! Rachel Green : Whoa, wait, listen, I think I'm just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant. Monica Geller : Wait. Rachel, no, he's married. Married! If you don't realize that, I can't help you. Rachel Green : Okay, you're right. You're right. You can't help me. Judy Geller : Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents? Stephen Waltham : Yes. Jack Geller : Oh yeah, well who serves steak when there's no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's up? Monica Geller : Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar? Chandler Bing : Forget it, that's off. Monica Geller : Why?! Stephen Waltham : The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes... Monica Geller : Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldn't eat meat until she has the babies! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I figured we're in another country, so it doesn't count. Monica Geller : That's true. Chandler Bing : The man's got a point. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Sorry, things aren't working out so well. Ross Geller : Oh no! It could be better, but it's gonna be okay, right? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, she's gonna get over this, y'know? I mean, so you said my name! Y'know you just said it 'cause you saw me there, if you'd have seen a circus freak, you would've said, "I take thee circus freak." Y'know, it didn't mean anything, it's just a mistake. It didn't mean anything. Right? Ross Geller : No! No! Of course it didn't mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, y'know, because-because it was you... Rachel Green : Right... Ross Geller : But it absolutely didn't. It didn't!! It didn't!! Joey Tribbiani : Ross, hey, the band's ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so... Ross Geller : Oh! Oh-oh, the band's ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says-I don't care about the stupid band!! Joey Tribbiani : You spit on me man! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh? Rachel Green : Y'know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame. Ross Geller : Oh, right! Rachel Green : Get the hell out of there, y'know? Ross Geller : Emily? Emily? I'm coming in. Rachel Green : Well, look at that, same thing. Chandler Bing : Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me. Monica Geller : Oh my God, Rachel! Hi! Chandler Bing : Oh, hello Rachel. Rachel Green : Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! Okay, don't believe me, I know I'm right-do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink? Chandler Bing : Yes, we do. But, we have to change first. Monica Geller : Yes, I want to change. And why-why don't you go down and get us a table? Chandler Bing : Yeah, we'll be down in like five minutes. Monica Geller : Fifteen minutes. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Hello? Oh, Pheebs! It's Phoebe! Chandler Bing : Oh, yay... Monica Geller : Great... Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, so what happened? Rachel Green : Well, Ross said my name. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, but I don't think that means anything. Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, y'know what, let's look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then... Chandler Bing : Hey, listen, why don't we go change in my room? Monica Geller : But my clothes are-ohh! Chandler Bing : Wow, you look... Monica Geller : No time for that! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here! Chandler Bing : Well, I've got a girl in here. Joey Tribbiani : No you don't, I just saw you go in there with Monica! Chandler Bing : Well, we're-we're hanging out in here! Joey Tribbiani : Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you? Chandler Bing : Well, I suppose I'd have to say you!! But, what if we're watching a movie in here? Monica Geller : Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. It's My Giant! Joey Tribbiani : My Giant? I love that movie! Monica Geller : You really think this is okay? Chandler Bing : Well, Ross and Emily aren't gonna use it. Monica Geller : Oh, it's so beautiful. Ohh! Y'know, I-I don't know if I feel right about this. Chandler Bing : Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Ross Geller : Emily?! Chandler Bing : Nope, not under here! Monica Geller : You didn't find her? Ross Geller : No, I've looked everywhere! Chandler Bing : Well, you couldn't have looked everywhere or else you would've found her! Monica Geller : Yeah, I think you should keep looking! Chandler Bing : Yeah, for about 30 minutes. Monica Geller : Or 45. Chandler Bing : Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. Ross Geller : No! For all I know, she's trying to find me but couldn't because I kept moving around. No, from now on, I'm staying in one place. Right here. Monica Geller : Well, it's getting late. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we're gonna go. Ross Geller : Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while? Monica Geller : Ugh, y'know, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's a very large plane. Ross Geller : That's cool. Chandler Bing : But, we'll stay here with you. Ross Geller : Thanks guys! I really appreciate this, y'know, but you don't have to rub my butt. Chandler Bing : We have to leave for New York in an hour. Monica Geller : I know, I've been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, don't you think? Chandler Bing : We can't do that that's insane. I mean 'A' he could wake up and 'B' y'know, let's go for it. Ross Geller : Em-Emily? Em-Emily? Emily! Stephen Waltham : No. Andrea Waltham : You can forget about Emily, she's not with us. Stephen Waltham : We've come for her things. Ross Geller : Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she? Stephen Waltham : She's in hiding. She's utterly humiliated. She doesn't want to see you ever again. Andrea Waltham : We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey. But, I think you're absolutely delicious. Stephen Waltham : Excuse me, I'm standing right here! Andrea Waltham : Oh yes, there you are. Rachel Green : Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, there's a whole cart outside... Stephen Waltham : Goodbye Geller. Ross Geller : Now, hold on! Hold on! Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that I'm gonna be at that airport and I hope that she'll be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachel's name, but it didn't mean anything, Okay? She's-she's just a friend and that's all! That's all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that you'll tell her that. Stephen Waltham : All right, I'll tell her. Come on bugger face! Andrea Waltham : Call me. Stephen Waltham : You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don't you ever go out the bloody window! Monica Geller : Y'know, maybe it's best that we never got to do it again. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. Y'know, technically we still are over international waters. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I'll see you there in a bit? Chandler Bing : 'Kay! Joey Tribbiani : Can I ask you something? Chandler Bing : Uhh, no. Joey Tribbiani : Felicity and I, we're watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "I'm never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think I'm just wasting my life with this acting thing? Chandler Bing : No. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, y'know, you think I'll ever get there? Chandler Bing : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man. Chandler Bing : Okay man. Joey Tribbiani : But what about how much taller he is than me? Joey Tribbiani : I mean, there's no way I can make myself taller now, y'know? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Monica, wow you've been in the bathroom for like a half-hour. Monica Geller : I know! Joey Tribbiani : Had the beef-tips, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : You ate meat! You had sex! Chandler Bing : No we didn't! Phoebe Buffay : I know you didn't, I was talking about Monica. Monica Geller : Phoebe, I did not have sex. Phoebe Buffay : This pregnancy is throwing me all off. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm gonna go say hi the chick and the duck. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, me too! Joey Tribbiani : Why would you need to say hi to them, you've been feeding them for four days? Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, maybe I'll just go home. Monica Geller : Well, we certainly are alone. Chandler Bing : Yes! Good thing we have that, 'Not in New York' rule. Monica Geller : Right. Umm, listen since we're-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross's mother... Chandler Bing : Right. Monica Geller : Well, an-anyway, I just-that night meant a lot to me, I guess I'm just trying to say thanks. Chandler Bing : Oh. Y'know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn't because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me 'cause, you're really hot! Is that okay? Monica Geller : That's okay. Chandler Bing : And I'm cute too. Monica Geller : And you're cute too. Chandler Bing : Thank you! All right, I gotta go unpack. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Bye. Chandler Bing : I'm still on London time, does that count? Monica Geller : That counts! Chandler Bing : Oh, good! Ross Geller : Rach! Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! What are you, what are you doing here? Rachel Green : Well, I-I-I've been on Standby for a flight home for hours. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh? Ross Geller : Not yet. Rachel Green : So umm, what time are you supposed to leave? Gate Agent : This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call. Ross Geller : Pretty soon I guess. Rachel Green : Yeah. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : I just, I don't understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Y'know, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she'd actually show up? Rachel Green : No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love. Ross Geller : Same difference. Gate Agent : All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board. Ross Geller : I get it! Well, that's that. Rachel Green : No, you know what, I think you should go. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think it'd be really good. Ross Geller : Oh, I don't, I don't, I don't know... Rachel Green : Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you! Ross Geller : I could, yeah, I can do that. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : I can't, I can't even believe her! No, y'know what, I am, I am gonna go! Rachel Green : Good! Ross Geller : I know, why not? Rachel Green : Right! Ross Geller : Right? Rachel Green : Right! Ross Geller : Y'know-thanks! Rachel Green : Okay, I'll see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here. Ross Geller : Yeah, well...nah. Rachel Green : What? Wait, what? Ross Geller : Why don't you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not? Rachel Green : Well-well, I don't know Ross-really? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, it'll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend. Rachel Green : Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that! Ross Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Okay! Ross Geller : Cool! Rachel Green : All right! Ross Geller : Come on! Here. Rachel Green : Oh, okay, we're going. Yeah. Ross Geller : Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket! Rachel Green : Oh, wait-wait-wait... Ross Geller : You tell them to wait! Rachel Green : Okay. Wait! Wait! Ross Geller : Emily. Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! No! No! Emily! Rachel Green : Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! Hey, look at that, the airport's moving. Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that we're moving? Oh my God. Oh, my gosh. Monica Geller : You look cute in bubbles. Chandler Bing : Ehh, you're just liquored up. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in! Chandler Bing : I've had a very long, hard day. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some? Chandler Bing : Ahh, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans? Chandler Bing : For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Chandler Bing : Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken. Monica Geller : Chicken? I could eat some chicken. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! Chandler Bing : Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : Mornin' Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver... Joey Tribbiani : Was his name Angus? Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, he was this cab driver we had in London. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Ha-ha-ha. All right, anyway... Monica Geller : Wait, what that place, that pub he took us too? Chandler Bing : Uh, The Wheatsheaf. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh... Monica Geller : Bodington's! #ALL# : Bodington's! Woohoo! Chandler Bing : Ooh! Ahh, Pheebs, was gonna tell a story. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so, he had a really funny hat-I don't want to talk about it. Ross Geller : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Ross, Bodington's! Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : That was good beer. Ross Geller : Ohh... Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys. Ross Geller : Y'know, I think they have those at that British pub near the trade center. Joey Tribbiani : Later! Ross Geller : Isn't Rachel supposed to be back by now? Monica Geller : Yeah, but her plane got delayed in Athens. But actually, she should be here by now. Ross Geller : Oh, so-so you talked to her. Did she, did she sound mad? Monica Geller : No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece. Ross Geller : Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'know-Emily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that? Phoebe Buffay : So you still hadn't heard from Emily? Ross Geller : No, not since I lost her at the airport. Chandler Bing : I can't believe she can out run you man! Ross Geller : HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!! Rachel Green : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Ross Geller : Rach, Rach, I am so sorry. I am so-so sorry. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, come on! You just did what you had to do. Ross Geller : That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible. Rachel Green : Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. Ross Geller : So, what? That's it? Rachel Green : Well, yeah! We're cool. Totally cool. Ross Geller : Oh, thanks. Oh, you're the best. Rachel Green : Oh no, you're the best. Ross Geller : Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again. Chandler Bing : Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY. Monica Geller : Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece! Rachel Green : What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions. Chandler Bing : Oh that's not true. Rachel Green : Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London. Phoebe Buffay : London is stupid! Stupid! Rachel Green : Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh... No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life. Monica Geller : I'll do it! Rachel Green : That's fine. So Monica, you are now in control of my love life. Chandler Bing : Okay, I gotta go to work. Chandler Bing : And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back. Chandler Bing : Pheebs! Always a pleasure. Monica Geller : Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception. Rachel Green : Ohh, he's married! Ross is married. I can't-I still can't believe it. Monica Geller : Honey, sweetie, by the edges. Rachel Green : I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it ... Monica Geller : Ohh. Rachel Green : ...I mean it's my fault. Monica Geller : Sweetie! Edges! Fingers! Smudgey! Pictures! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Okay. That's okay. I-I know that you're very upset right now. I know, I know that wasn't about me. Joey Tribbiani : I bet it was about her a little. Monica Geller : If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! I mean, he's nice, he's cute. Rachel Green : Yeah, I guess Gunther is kinda... Monica Geller : Oh, what about that guy over there? Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time. Rachel Green : Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Monica Geller : You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him. Rachel Green : All right, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me. Joey Tribbiani : Say that to him and you're golden. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs! Monica Geller : We got out pictures back from London. Here's all of us at the Tower of London. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. Chandler Bing : All right, y'know what, we've been talking about London too much haven't we? Phoebe Buffay : No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out. #ALL# : Sorry. Monica Geller : What happened? Rachel Green : Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night. Monica Geller : See, didn't I tell you?! You're getting over Ross already! Rachel Green : Well... Gunther : Get out! Monica Geller : What took you so long? Chandler Bing : I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow. Monica Geller : Oh, good. Chandler Bing : So, thanks for having me over! Rach. Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : See ya!! What the hell was that?! Monica Geller : Probably some y'know, European good-bye thing he picked up in London. Rachel Green : That's not European! Phoebe Buffay : Well, it felt French. Rachel Green : Oh God, I really had a good time! Dave : Yeah, me too. So, I guess this is it. Rachel Green : Yeah. Umm, unless you wanna come inside? Dave : Yeah! Rachel Green : Okay. Oh, uh, wait a minute, y'know what? I uh, I can't decide this. Umm, okay, just hold on a second. Dave : Okay, yeah! Rachel Green : Umm, hi! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Is Monica around? I-I have to ask her something. Ross Geller : She's doing her laundry. Rachel Green : What's that? Ross Geller : It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch! Rachel Green : Oh, honey that's awful. Ross Geller : Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while. Rachel Green : But, it's not raining. Ross Geller : I can't catch a break! Rachel Green : Y'know what Ross? You're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit right here. I'm gonna make you a cup of tea and we're gonna talk this thing whole out. All right? Hey, Dave! Dave : Yeah? Rachel Green : Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now. Monica Geller : Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : What is the matter with you?! Do you want to fall into the trap? Do you want to fall into the trap?! Rachel Green : Ohh! You did not drop any socks! Monica Geller : I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do? Rachel Green : Well, ultimately, I was trying y'know, I-I wanted...tell him y'know, that I'm still in love with him. Monica Geller : What?!! You cannot tell him that!! Rachel Green : Why? Why not?! People love to hear that! Monica Geller : I make the decisions, and I say no. Rachel Green : Well, y'know what, no, you do not make my decisions because y'know what, you're fired. Monica Geller : You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha! Rachel Green : Well... Monica Geller : Rachel!! Come on! Let me in! Joey Tribbiani : Havin' some trouble? Monica Geller : Rachel locked the door. Joey Tribbiani : I'll kick that door in if you give me a little sugar. Monica Geller : Rachel! Let me in! Rachel! Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec? Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : I really need to talk to you. Rachel Green : Well, then talk! Monica Geller : Okay, I will. Remember that thing that we just discussed that you wanted to do? Rachel Green : Yes! Ross Geller : What thing? Monica Geller : Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might end up hurting. Ross Geller : Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. My God, think of the massacre. Rachel Green : I'm gonna do it. Monica Geller : All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't. Rachel Green : But I... Monica Geller : Please! Rachel Green : All right, fine. Monica Geller : Joey, I'm in! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Good deal. #ALL# : Pheebs! Hey Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, okay, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Umm, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and how you were kinda feeling left out? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, that's so nice! How great! Well, where? Where's the trip?! Monica Geller : Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic , in Central Park! Phoebe Buffay : Central... Park! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, all of us! All day! Phoebe Buffay : That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!" Chandler Bing : Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea. Rachel Green : Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I just-y'know-stop it! Chandler Bing : I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group. Phoebe Buffay : That's fine, just don't bring it in my mouth. Monica Geller : Makes me wanna puke! Ross Geller : Hey everybody, Pheebs is here! Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe! Chandler Bing : Hey, Pheebs! Rachel Green : Phoebe, woo! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, woo! Hi. Chandler Bing : Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little... Y'know, it didn't have any... It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that? Joey Tribbiani : Mine! Ross Geller : Wait! It was my plan. Joey Tribbiani : Nooo, I said we needed a new plan. Ross Geller : And, I came up with Atlantic City. Joey Tribbiani : Which, is the new plan! Monica Geller : Okay, well, why don't we all meet upstairs in an hour? Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Ooh-ahh, I'm gonna go pack. I'm gonna go pack my ass off! Monica Geller : Come on Rach, let's go. Rachel Green : Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute. Monica Geller : No! Rachel, you didn't find anyone so you can't tell him. Rachel Green : Well, y'know what, that doesn't matter. Monica Geller : Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back? Rachel Green : Yeah, I-I don't care. Monica Geller : Okay. I-I can't watch. Rachel Green : What 'cha readin'? Ross Geller : The paper. Rachel Green : Yeah, what's it about? Ross Geller : Events from around the globe. Rachel Green : Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong. Ross Geller : Sure. Once, at work I-I thought carbon dating was fossilized... Rachel Green : Okay, Ross, I'm really trying to tell you something here. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Go ahead. Rachel Green : Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, I'm still in love with you Ross. Ross Geller : Wow. Umm... Huh... I'm-I'm not sure what to do with that right now. Ross Geller : What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean. Rachel Green : I'm so dead serious. I'm totally serious. Ross Geller : Why are you laughing? Rachel Green : Because , because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel was like, "You are such an idiot!" Ross Geller : Well, well I am married. Even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, that's not funny. Ross Geller : Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know! Rachel Green : Oh God, ohh, okay, y'know what, do you think ah, do you think that you just forget that I told you this? Ross Geller : Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is... Rachel Green : The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily. Ross Geller : That is what the thing is. Rachel Green : Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that? Ross Geller : No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you. Rachel Green : That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. Ross Geller : No thank you for... Thank you. Ross Geller : Okay, let's go! Chandler Bing : Atlantic City! Phoebe Buffay : Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking? Monica Geller : Oh my God! You're water broke! The Guys : Ohh! Phoebe Buffay : All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! #ALL# : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait-wait! Chandler Bing : Pheebs! We have to take you to the hospital now! Ross Geller : Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now. Rachel Green : High-five, the babies are coming! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait, remember when my water broke? Monica Geller : I can't believe Phoebe's gonna have her babies! Chandler Bing : I know, it's beautiful. Amazing. Chandler Bing : Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex. Monica Geller : Do you know anything about women? Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : That's all right. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Nurse : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me. Nurse : Okay. Have you started having contractions? Phoebe Buffay : Not yet. Umm, I heard they really hurt, do they hurt? Nurse : Well... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Ross Geller : It's all right. Nurse : Now, which of you is the father? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother. Nurse : Okay... Rachel Green : I am so gonna miss watching you freak people out like that! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me! Ross Geller : Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did! Monica Geller : Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket. Chandler Bing : That's right. Rachel Green : You-you're not wearing a jacket. Monica Geller : Oh man! I did it again! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. And then my mom wants to know--Joey, what are you doing?! Joey Tribbiani : I gotta get the before shot! Rachel Green : Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, she's so stupid! Ross Geller : Look, Pheebs-Pheebs, it's gonna be okay. Phoebe Buffay : That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina! Rachel Green : Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful. Ross Geller : Yeah, he's head of the department. Phoebe Buffay : All right-Ooh! Oh dead God, save me! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : I'm having my first contraction! Chandler Bing : Oh no. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, it's not bad. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! And so the miracle of life begins, and aaiiyyyeeee! Chandler Bing : Hey! You okay? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, something hurts! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, it's sympathy pains. Ohh, that's so sweet! Joey Tribbiani : Are they? I didn't know I cared that much. Ross Geller : Hello. Dr. Harad : Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. Chandler Bing : Did he just say, he loves Fonzie? Monica Geller : That's what it sounded like. Chandler Bing : All right... Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right? Phoebe Buffay : No-no-no! We haven't started yet. Where's Alice? Frank Buffay Jr. : Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff. Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Rachel Green : Monica? You gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my! Rachel Green : They're male nurses. Joey Tribbiani : Not in my head. Rachel Green : Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say? Monica Geller : Umm. Umm. Umm. I don't think so. Rachel Green : What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go. Monica Geller : Umm, why don't you give me something that would be a good reason and-and then I'll tell you if it's true. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Harder than it sounds. Isn't it? Rachel Green : Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them. Joey Tribbiani : Yep! There's always room for Jell-O... Rachel Green : Joey, how do you make that dirty? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, Grandma's chicken salad... Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Get a shot of this. Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies... Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt either-Ooh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it. Ross Geller : Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them. Chandler Bing : Really? Male nurses? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I was bummed too. Chandler Bing : So they're going on dates? When? Joey Tribbiani : I think Saturday-. Frank Buffay Jr. : What's with him? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder. Dr. Harad : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Dr. Harad : Let's see what we got here. Ohh, y'know, Fonzie dated triplets. Chandler Bing : This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor? Dr. Harad : Oh no-no-no. Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzerelli. The Fonz. Chandler Bing : All right. Frank Buffay Jr. : It's not that weird, is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's very weird! I don't want some guy down there telling me, I'm y'know, dilatedamundo! Ross Geller : To be fair, he doesn't seem to be impersonating Fonzie... Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie! Ross Geller : Again, it's not that he... Chandler Bing : Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are! Monica Geller : Umm, listen there's something I think you should know. Chandler Bing : Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around. Monica Geller : Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him. Chandler Bing : Fine! Maybe I will too! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. Get up! Get up! Get up! Ross Geller : Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! And you're going into what grade? Dr. Oberman : Umm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early... Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor. Dr. Oberman : Oh no, I'm fully qualified to... Phoebe Buffay : Shh! Doogie, shh! Doesn't anybody understand that I'm gonna be having babies soon? Huh? Go! Go little boy, go! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh cool! You made him cry! Joey's Doctor : Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, well, what else could it be? Joey's Doctor : It's kidney stones. Joey Tribbiani : Or? Joey's Doctor : Kidney stones! Dr. Harad : All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky. Phoebe Buffay : They are. Why? Dr. Harad : They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday. Phoebe Buffay : Happy birthday! Dr. Harad : Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. Rachel Green : Honey, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice. Phoebe Buffay : I know, it is. Rachel Green : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Can I tell you a little secret? Rachel Green : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : I want to keep one. Rachel Green : Ohh, I'm gonna be on the news! Rachel Green : Okay, Phoebe, honey, you gotta be kidding. I mean, you know you cannot keep one of these babies! Phoebe Buffay : Why not?! Maybe I can, you don't know! Rachel Green : Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children! Phoebe Buffay : Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know? Rachel Green : Phoebe, no! This is, this is insane. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just ask him! Rachel Green : Me?! Phoebe Buffay : I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out! Rachel Green : No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!! Phoebe Buffay : You're right. Phoebe Buffay : Tell him it's for you. Monica Geller : Feeling a little better sweetie? Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up. Monica Geller : Me too. Ross Geller : Hey! I just heard. What's up? Joey's Doctor : Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra... Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an option-what's a urethra? Are you crazy?! Phoebe Buffay : So did you ask him? Rachel Green : No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm kinda on a clock here. Dr. Harad : Oh Fonzie. Rachel Green : Y'know who I always liked? Mork. Phoebe Buffay : Undo it. Undo it. Undo it. Dr. Harad : Fonzie met Mork. Mork froze Fonzie. Rachel Green : Yeah, but umm... Yes, but, Fonzie was already cool, so he wasn't hurt, right? Dr. Harad : Yeah, that's right. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : How are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, doctor says any minute now. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in? Phoebe Buffay : Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do. Male Nurse : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Male Nurse : Rachel. Rachel Green : Monica, this is Dan , one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. Uh Dan, Monica. Dan : Nice to meet you. Monica Geller : Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really! Chandler Bing : So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it? Monica Geller : Chandler! Dan : Nah that's okay. I'm just doing this to put myself through medical school. Chandler Bing : Oh. Dan : And it didn't feel so girlie during the Gulf War. Chandler Bing : Sure. And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. Monica Geller : So, why wait 'til Saturday, are you free tomorrow? Dan : Sure! I'll get somebody to cover my shift. Monica Geller : Oh, great! Chandler Bing : Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night? Delivery Room Nurse : No. Chandler Bing : All right. Very good. Phoebe Buffay : Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!! Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, get these things out of me! Ross Geller : Breathe! Breathe! Breathe throw the pain. Joey Tribbiani : I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! Ross Geller : I do too! I do too! Joey Tribbiani : Argh! Ross Geller : Argh! Joey Tribbiani : Argh! Ross Geller : Argh! Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, I love you. Okay, bye! Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Frank Buffay Jr. : That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now! Rachel Green : Oh, honey, don't worry. She's gonna make it on time. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. So Frank, three babies. Whew, that just seems like a lot, huh? Frank Buffay Jr. : Not to me. Rachel Green : Yeah, fair enough. Dr. Harad : Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please. Monica Geller : Bye Dan! Dan : Uh, bye Monica. Chandler Bing : Bye, momi-moo. Dr. Harad : All right, I need a clamp, sterile towel, and channel 31. Phoebe Buffay : What is that? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Dr. Harad : Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing. Joey's Doctor : Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. Dr. Harad : Okay, now push! That's it push! Just concentrate on pushing! Yeah, here we go! Dan : I see the head. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yes, it has a head! Dr. Harad : All right. Keep pushing! Come on! Frank Buffay Jr. : I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son. Dr. Harad : All right. Here's your first baby. Frank Buffay Jr. : YESSSSS!!!!! We got a baby boy!! Chandler Bing : Yes! Frank Buffay Jr. : Frank Jr. Jr.!! Rachel Green : Oh, how does he look? How does he look? Frank Buffay Jr. : So gross! Dr. Harad : Okay. You ready to push again? Phoebe Buffay : I already had a baby. Leave me alone. Frank Buffay Jr. : Okay, okay, come on, you can do it. You can do it! Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? Frank Buffay Jr. : Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on! Dr. Harad : All right, he's coming. He's coming! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey, where's his thing? Frank Buffay Jr. : Chandler's a girl! Chandler Bing : Oh God, kindergarten flashback. Frank Buffay Jr. : They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl! Chandler Bing : Okay, keep saying it! Alice Knight : Am I too late?! Frank Buffay Jr. : No-no ah, everything's okay. Everybody's healthy there's 30 fingers and 30 toes. Alice Knight : We have our babies? Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Alice Knight : Oh, we have our babies. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Ross Geller : You did it, man. Joey's Doctor : Would you like to see them? Joey Tribbiani : They're so small! Dan : So, I'll call you tomorrow. Monica Geller : Great! Chandler Bing : So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man? Monica Geller : Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this. Monica Geller : I think you're better than you think you are. Chandler Bing : Really? Okay, so... Monica Geller : Know when to stop. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay? Monica Geller : Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. Don't do the dance. Chandler Bing : Right! Monica Geller : I think you're my favorite. Phoebe Buffay : Which one do you have? Monica Geller : I don't care. Rachel Green : Hi. Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls. Phoebe Buffay : But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know... Rachel Green : Yeah, umm, no honey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies. #ALL# : Yeah, sure yeah. Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Well, if you're gonna cry. Monica Geller : Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing! Phoebe Buffay : I know. Rachel Green : So does it really hurt as bad as they say? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. You won't be able to take it. Chandler Bing : So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her? Phoebe Buffay : They're gonna call her Chandler. Chandler Bing : That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think? Phoebe Buffay : Works on you. Monica Geller : Come in. I've been waiting for you. Rachel Green : Hi! I just wanna--Ahhh!!! Oh my God! Oh my God! Monica Geller : Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap. Rachel Green : Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy! Monica Geller : Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha! Rachel Green : That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta? Monica Geller : Uh-huh, that one! Rachel Green : Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. Maybe that's him. Monica Geller : Okay, umm, okay, umm... It's just Joey and Ross. Rachel Green : Why aren't you guys at the movie? Joey Tribbiani : Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out! Ross Geller : I had to talk loud because the movie was loud! Joey Tribbiani : He's talking to London! Monica Geller : But why?! Did he get in touch with Emily? Joey Tribbiani : Well no, not yet. He's calling everyone on her side of the family hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her. Ross Geller : I-I-I don't care if I said some other girl's name you prissy, old twit! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Way to suck up to the family. Chandler Bing : Ha-ha-ha--enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux! Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned. Monica Geller : Vomit tux? Who vomited on-y'know what, what you up to Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host! Monica Geller : Oh that's great! Joey Tribbiani : A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, PBS! Monica Geller : What's wrong with PBS? Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, what's right with them? Joey Tribbiani : Why don't you like PBS, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back. Chandler Bing : Well y'know a lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs. Phoebe Buffay : All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys! Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies. Phoebe Buffay : This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What about you, having those babies for your brother? Talk about selfish! Phoebe Buffay : What-what are you talking about?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. So? Joey Tribbiani : It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless. Joey Tribbiani : Well, may I ask for one example? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's... Y'know there's-no you may not! Joey Tribbiani : That's because all people are selfish. Phoebe Buffay : Are you calling me selfish?! Joey Tribbiani : Are you calling you people? Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right? Phoebe Buffay : I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius. Ross Geller : Hello. Emily Waltham : Hello, Ross? Ross Geller : Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! Hi! Emily Waltham : Ross, I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Good-bye! Ross Geller : No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me! Emily Waltham : Really? About what? Ross Geller : Look you're my wife. We're-we're married. Y'know? I-I love you. I-I really miss you. Emily Waltham : I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do. Ross Geller : She's talking. #ALL# : Yay! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant? Joey Tribbiani : That he doesn't exist. Phoebe Buffay : Right. Rachel Green : So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend? Chandler Bing : Uhh, yeah. She uh, she uh, she uh might've mentioned him. Rachel Green : So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man? Monica Geller : Ohh, he's really shy. I-I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet. Rachel Green : I don't care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had! Chandler Bing : Really?! That's what you heard? You said that? Monica Geller : I might've said that. Why is that funny? Chandler Bing : Because I'm very happy for him! And you, you lucky dog! Ross Geller : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Well, Emily's willing to work on the relationship. Chandler Bing : Yes! Monica Geller : That's great! Ross Geller : In London! Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : She wants me to move to London. Monica Geller : But you live here! You know that. Rachel Green : What-what-what are you gonna do? Ross Geller : I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben. Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife. Ross Geller : It could happen. Joey Tribbiani : How ya doin'? Welcome. Good to see ya! Stage Director : This will be your phone. Joey Tribbiani : That's great. But uh, I'm not really expecting a lot of calls. Stage Director : No you answer it and take pledges. Joey Tribbiani : But I'm the host! Stage Director : No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones. Joey Tribbiani : You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray. Stage Director : Well, here's your phone doctor. Phoebe Buffay : I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass! Rachel Green : Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish. Phoebe Buffay : I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right! Chandler Bing : Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question? Monica Geller : Sure! Chandler Bing : If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard? Rachel Green : Chandler! Is he? Monica Geller : Well, y'know I-I-I think I'm gonna respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend. Chandler Bing : Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. Ross Geller : All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben. Emily Waltham : I understand that would be difficult. Ross Geller : Yeah, would you please consider moving here? I mean you were gonna move here anyway, why can't you just do that? Emily Waltham : I don't know, it's just... Ross Geller : Oh-oh-okay, but-but I know, that even though I've been a-a complete idiot up 'til now, I mean, I mean you-you-you have to come here. You have to come here so we can work this out. Emily Waltham : All right. Ross Geller : All right, did you just say all right? Emily Waltham : I did. Now I'm the idiot. Ross Geller : Oh, Emily that is, that is so great. It's gonna be so great! We're gonna be like-like-like two idiots in love! Emily Waltham : Ross, there's one thing that really scares me still. Ross Geller : Yes, tell me. Emily Waltham : Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends. Ross Geller : I know. I am, I am so sorry. Emily Waltham : And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her. Ross Geller : Again, very sorry. Emily Waltham : I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her! Ross Geller : Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you. Emily Waltham : All right. I'll come to New York and we'll try and make this work. Ross Geller : Oh that is so great! That's... Emily Waltham : As long as you don't see Rachel anymore. Ross Geller : So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes. Chandler Bing : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh-ohh! Monica Geller : Great! Ross Geller : No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Monica Geller : What?! You can't-what did you tell her? Ross Geller : I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? I'm actually asking you! Chandler Bing : Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends. Monica Geller : Yeah! But, he can't not exactly see Emily, I mean that's his wife. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Chandler Bing : That's true! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life. Chandler Bing : That's true! Monica Geller : No, you cannot. Ross Geller : Thanks for the help, problem solved. Monica Geller : Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mon! Monica Geller : Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV? Joey Tribbiani : See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure. Monica Geller : You're not on TV. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? Chandler Bing : Hey, there he is! There he is! Joey Tribbiani : Hello New York! Emeril : Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs... Chandler Bing : How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel! Monica Geller : Hi Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day. Chandler Bing : Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars. Monica Geller : William Sonoma, fall catalog, Page 27. Chandler Bing : Expect it in 4-6 weeks. Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves. Monica Geller : Yeah, so? Chandler Bing : Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had. Monica Geller : Y'know what, champ? I think I'll pass. Chandler Bing : Why? Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : What's your point? Joey Tribbiani : PBS telethon. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me. Joey Tribbiani : What?! What good is that gonna do anybody? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not. Joey Tribbiani : Now, y'know the bee probably died after he stung ya. Phoebe Buffay : Aw, dammit! Stage Director : Back on in 30 seconds people! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me? Pbs Volunteer : Hey, no way, I'm in the shot man. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man! You've been here all day! Pbs Volunteer : Yeah, I-I'm taking pledges here, eh? Stage Director : We're on in 3, 2, Gary Collins : Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to... Ross Geller : Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. Monica Geller : A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, it's not a toy. Ross Geller : Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? Ask again later. Later is not good enough. Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken! Monica Geller : All right, let me see. Will Chandler have sex tonight? Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me. Joey Tribbiani : PBS Telethon. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200. Joey Tribbiani : $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed. Joey Tribbiani : And you don't a little good about donating the money? Phoebe Buffay : No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster. Joey Tribbiani : A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, not the one I had my eye on. Gary Collins : It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers... Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, Mr. Joseph Tribbiani! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feel-Oh no! Chandler Bing : Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best. Monica Geller : Keep talking. Chandler Bing : I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH...MY...GOD. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex! Monica Geller : Well, if we owe it? Oh my... When is Joey gonna be home? Chandler Bing : Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on. Monica Geller : But, I just cleaned the bathroom. Chandler Bing : Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves. Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : All right, let's show them how it's done. Monica Geller : Okay. Monica Geller : Ow! Chandler Bing : Y'know that wasn't part of it? Monica Geller : I know! Rachel Green : Hi! Are you ready? We're gonna be late! Ross Geller : For what? Rachel Green : For Stella! Remember? She's gettin' her grove back in like 20 minutes. Ross Geller : Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily. Rachel Green : Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay! Ross Geller : It's not that easy, there's still a lot of relationship stuff. Rachel Green : Like what? Ross Geller : Just stuff. Y'know kinda what Emily wants. Rachel Green : Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help. Ross Geller : No. No. You-you can't help. I mean, I kinda have to do this without your help. Rachel Green : Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to... Hi! Ross Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy! Ross Geller : Hello. Hi sweetie. Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. So will you come to New York? Monica Geller : Never done that before. Chandler Bing : Nope. Monica Geller : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Monica? What time is it? Chandler Bing : Uhh, 9. Joey Tribbiani : But it's dark out. Monica Geller : Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like. Joey Tribbiani : I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise. Monica Geller : I'm really getting tired of sneaking around. Chandler Bing : I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time. Monica Geller : All weekend? That's a whole lotta naked. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I can say that I have a conference and you can say you have a chef thing. Monica Geller : Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey! Chandler Bing : Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. Monica Geller : Wait! What about Joey? Monica Geller : Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there! Monica Geller : Oh now that-that-that's funny, it seems like Chandler's conference could've been in Connecticut or Vermont. Chandler Bing : I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference. Ross Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her. Monica Geller : No, she's out shopping. Ross Geller : Damn! Chandler Bing : What's going on? Ross Geller : I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute! So when Emily comes you're just, you're not gonna see Rachel anymore? Ross Geller : Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. Monica Geller : Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work? Ross Geller : I have no idea. I mean... But-but I assure you I will figure it out. Joey Tribbiani : Doesn't seem like it's going to work, I mean... Rachel Green : Hi, guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Chandler Bing : Uh, hey! Rachel Green : What's going on? Chandler Bing : We're flipping Monica's mattress. Joey Tribbiani : So I'm thinking, basically we pick it up and then we flip it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's better than my way. Rachel Green : Oh okay, hey guys, would you flip mine too? Chandler Bing : Aww, man! Rachel Green : Oh look! A letter from my mom. Ross Geller : So, Rach, y'know-y'know how Emily's coming right? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! I know. Phoebe Buffay : Can you hear anything? Chandler Bing : Oh yes, somebody just said, "Can you hear anything?" Monica Geller : Hey, Joey's ass! What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here. Monica Geller : Ooh, candy bars, crossword puzzles... Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, Madlibs, mine! Chandler Bing : Condoms? Joey Tribbiani : You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth. Chandler Bing : And condoms are the way to do that? Ross Geller : Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily... Rachel Green : Oh my God! My dog died! Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Le Poo, our dog! Ross Geller : Le Poo's still alive?! Rachel Green : Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine--teen blocks. Oh. Oh my God. Monica Geller : Sweetie, we heard you crying. Please don't cry. Rachel Green : It's Le Poo. Phoebe Buffay : I know it's le poo right now, but it'll get better. Chandler Bing : I can't believe it! We're here! Monica Geller : Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that! Chandler Bing : Oh, you should live with Joey, Roll-os everywhere. Monica Geller : Come here. Okay, be right back. Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Monica, get in here! There's a high-speed car chase on! Monica Geller : We're switching rooms. Chandler Bing : Oh dear God, they gave us glasses! Monica Geller : No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we? Chandler Bing : Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's feed! Ross Geller : Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Ross Geller : Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing... Okay, here goes. I made a promise that--Oh hey! Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : You're nose is bleeding! Rachel Green : Oh God. No! Oh not again! This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me? Ross Geller : Umm... Rachel Green : Sorry. Sorry. Ross Geller : Okay, I uh, I can't see you anymore. Rachel Green : Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous! I can't see you either. Hotel Clerk : I think you'll find this room more to your liking. Chandler Bing : Okay, great. Hotel Clerk : They say he's only got half a tank left. Chandler Bing : Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do! Monica Geller : We're switching rooms again. Chandler Bing : What? Why? Monica Geller : This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room. Hotel Clerk : Our last ocean view room was unacceptable to you. Monica Geller : Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a second? Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers! Chandler Bing : I hear ya, Mugsy! But look, all these rooms are fine okay? Can you just pick one so I can watch--have a perfect, magical weekend together with you. Monica Geller : Okay, this one I like! Chandler Bing : Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming! Monica Geller : Can we turn the TV off? Okay? Do we really want to spend the entire weekend like this? Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room switching fun? Monica Geller : Hey, don't blame me for wigging tonight! Chandler Bing : Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms? Monica Geller : I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas! Chandler Bing : Do not speak ill of the dead. Monica Geller : We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it, what is the matter with you? Chandler Bing : I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom. Monica Geller : What did you say? Chandler Bing : I said, "Geez, relax Monnnnn." Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out. Rachel Green : Okay, what's up? Ross Geller : Okay, y'know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my marriage? Rachel Green : Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants. Ross Geller : And while that was good advice, you should know that what-what she wants... Rachel Green : Yeah? Ross Geller : ...is for me not to see you anymore. Rachel Green : That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you? Ross Geller : It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here. Rachel Green : Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died! Ross Geller : You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you. Ross Geller : What are you doing? Rachel Green : Storming out! Ross Geller : Rachel, this is your apartment. Rachel Green : Yeah, well that's how mad I am!! Chandler Bing : Damn Rollos! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're back! Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : How was your conference? Chandler Bing : It was terrible. I fought with my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, so your weekend was a total bust? Chandler Bing : Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator. Monica Geller : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're back too! Monica Geller : Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how was your chef thing? Monica Geller : Oh, it was awful. I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food. Chandler Bing : Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Monica. Monica Geller : Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half. Chandler Bing : Okay, fine, $300. Monica Geller : 300 dollars?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, just think of it as $25 per room! Monica Geller : Urghh!! Joey Tribbiani : What are you guys woofing about? Monica Geller : Chandler stole a twenty from my purse! Joey Tribbiani : Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots! Ross Geller : You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do. Joey Tribbiani : You want my advice? Ross Geller : Yes! Please! Joey Tribbiani : You're not gonna like it. Ross Geller : That's okay. Joey Tribbiani : You got married to fast. Ross Geller : That's not advice! Joey Tribbiani : I told ya. Ross Geller : I'm going to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, me either. Monica Geller : Maybe I could do it. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hi, Rach. Chandler Bing : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but y'know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just love not to talk about it. All right? Joey Tribbiani : I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there. Rachel Green : That's not Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though. Chandler Bing : Okay, Ross is in the bathroom. Rachel Green : Oh my God, its happening. It's already started. I'm Kip. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're not Kip! Rachel Green : Do you even know who Kip is? Joey Tribbiani : Who cares? You're Rachel! Who's Kip? Chandler Bing : Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that poor bastard. Rachel Green : See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out! Monica Geller : You're not gonna be phased out! Rachel Green : Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go. Phoebe Buffay : Ehh!! Rachel Green : Honey, come on! You live far away! You're not related. You lift right out. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room. Chandler Bing : Yes that was mine. Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause I figured you'd hooked up with some girl and she'd left it there. Chandler Bing : Yes that would have made more sense. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man! All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya. Were you, or were you not on a gay cruise?! Rachel Green : Phoebe? I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. You gotta come with me! Phoebe Buffay : Come where? Rachel Green : Wherever I go. Come on you and me, we'll-we'll start a new group, we're the best ones. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but try and get Joey too. Ross Geller : Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, sure! Bye Ross! Forever. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules? Ross Geller : I talked to Monica, look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change, so I should be the one to y'know, step back. Rachel Green : Oh, Ross... Ross Geller : No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better? Rachel Green : No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you. Ross Geller : Well, what-what would you do? Rach, if you were me, what-what would you do? Rachel Green : Well, for starters I would've said the right name at my wedding! Ross Geller : I can't believe this is happening. Rachel Green : I know. Ross Geller : I am so sorry. Rachel Green : I know that too. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : I just came over to drop off...nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh? Monica Geller : Yeah, it did. Chandler Bing : So, I guess this is over. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Well, y'know, you and me, it had to end sometime. Monica Geller : Why, exactly? Chandler Bing : Because of the weekend, we had a fight. Monica Geller : Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer than-Ohhh! Chandler Bing : So, this isn't over? Monica Geller : You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about. Chandler Bing : Really? Okay. Great! Monica Geller : Ohh, welcome to an adult relationship! Chandler Bing : We're in a relationship? Monica Geller : I'm afraid so. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention. Monica Geller : Yeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator. Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine. Rachel Green : Yeah, it's in there. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Ohh! Oh!! Chandler Bing : Joey, can I talk to you for a second? Joey Tribbiani : Oohh!! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!! Joey Tribbiani : Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : Yes. Yes. Joey Tribbiani : You?! And-and you?! Monica Geller : Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows! Joey Tribbiani : How?! When?! Chandler Bing : It happened in London. Joey Tribbiani : IN LONDON!!! Chandler Bing : The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Joey Tribbiani : But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no! You can't! Monica Geller : Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's great, but... Monica Geller : I know, it's great! Joey Tribbiani : Aww, I don't want to see that! Phoebe Buffay : We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey! Phoebe Buffay : The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!" Monica Geller : Oh that's cute! We really all enjoyed it. But y'know, it doesn't count. Phoebe Buffay : Count for what? Monica Geller : Count in our heads as-as good Madlibs. Joey Tribbiani : I guess I'm done. Chandler Bing : Fun's over! Monica Geller : Wait-wait, guys! If-if we follow the rules, it's still fun and it means something! Rachel Green : Uh-huh! Joey Tribbiani : I think I'm gonna take-off. Monica Geller : Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! Ohhh! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof! Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Look, just because I know about you two, doesn't mean I like looking at it. Chandler Bing : Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Sorry. Chandler Bing : Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : I can hear that! Monica Geller : Rachel's at work. Joey Tribbiani : I can still hear you! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hello! Monica Geller : Hey, what's that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud. Phoebe Buffay : Eeeee--ohh!! God! Joey Tribbiani : Argh-argh!! Ooh, soft. Is this mink? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make! Chandler Bing : Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. That didn't happen, I made that up! Ross Geller : Hey! Gunther : Oh, Ross? Ross! You can't put up flyers in here. Ross Geller : How come? Everybody else does. Gunther : You can't. Monica Geller : What is that? Ross Geller : Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things. Monica Geller : This is all of your things. Ross Geller : Yes, yes it is! No, but it's good it's-Emily thinks we should get all new stuff. Stuff that's just ours, together. Y'know brand new. Monica Geller : So basically, this is a getting-rid-of-everything-Rachel-ever-used sale. Ross Geller : Touched. Used. Sat on. Sleep on. Gunther : I'll take it all. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Ross, you're okay with that? Ross Geller : Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine. Chandler Bing : Okay, but don't you think this is a little extreme? Ross Geller : After what I did? Can you blame her? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green. Joey Tribbiani : What is he doing? What, Emily, thinks Ross's furniture has got Rachel coodies? Monica Geller : Now calm down Joey. Joey Tribbiani : No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I hate this. Everything's changing. Chandler Bing : Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence... Monica Geller : Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that? Joey Tribbiani : No! But y'know, I'm an actor, I'll act cool. Rachel Green : Ohh, whoa God! Storage rooms give me the creeps! Monica, come on please hurry up honey! Please? Monica Geller : Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron. Rachel Green : I want the little round waffles. Monica Geller : All right. Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison? Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? I'll-I'll have toast! Rachel Green : Arghhhh!!!!!! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Fog him! Fog him! Phoebe Buffay : I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat. Joey Tribbiani : I'll take it! Phoebe Buffay : That might work! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! Enh? All right, what do you think? Chandler Bing : You're on in 5 Ms. Minnelli. Ross Geller : No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter Ross? Ross Geller : Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Ross Geller : Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other. Joey Tribbiani : That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! Which is great! I love to ride that rail! Chandler Bing : So you're really okay with this? Ross Geller : Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time! Chandler Bing : Now that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space. We should get them together and make a continuum. Joey Tribbiani : Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? Ow!! He's not even here!!! Rachel Green : You guys! You guys! Monica Geller : We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man! Rachel Green : It was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something! Monica Geller : And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him! Rachel Green : Yeah, I-I-I just pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, like dark hair, bushy beard? Rachel Green : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you fogged Danny. Rachel Green : Please! We did not fog Danny! Who's Danny? Joey Tribbiani : Dan just moved in downstairs. Yeah, he just got back from like this four-month trek in the Andes. Nice fella. Monica Geller : Oh he's nice. He's nice! Y'know, you always stick up for the people we fog! Danny : Yeah? Rachel Green : Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you. Monica Geller : We're-we're really sorry we fogged you. Danny : Okay. Rachel Green : Hi! Just so you know, we-we didn't mean to fog you, we thought you were like a yeti or something. Danny : Okay. Danny : Yesss? Rachel Green : Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it. Monica Geller : Yeah. Danny : O-kay! Monica Geller : Wow! That guy is so rude! Rachel Green : Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you. Monica Geller : Well you did a little bit. Rachel Green : Oh my God, honey, I'm so sorry! Monica Geller : I totally forgive you! Rachel Green : Really? Monica Geller : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : So listen, you know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium? Monica Geller : Crematorium Chris? Sure! Phoebe Buffay : He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God, look at these pelts! Monica Geller : Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated. Rachel Green : What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion! Phoebe Buffay : This is fashion?! Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? 'Cause I do. Ross Geller : I know I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Bye. Chandler Bing : Okay, what is in here? Rocks? Ross Geller : No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples. Chandler Bing : So, rocks. Ross Geller : I'm really gonna miss this apartment. Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps right over there. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing and it kinda knocked me out a little? Ross Geller : I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this? Ross Geller : Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice... Joey Tribbiani : You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?! Ross Geller : Why? Joey Tribbiani : It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally--Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy. Ross Geller : What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : We all hate Emily! Phoebe Buffay : Nooo!! Monica Geller : No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Look, we just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes! Unreasonable! Ross Geller : Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! Phoebe Buffay : I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much. Monica Geller : God, I feel so guilty about Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know. Joey Tribbiani : I kinda feel like it's my fault. Chandler Bing : Kind of? If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! Chandler Bing : Well, I think it's very brave what you said. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. Chandler Bing : Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal rights thing? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, I-it's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine! Rachel Green : Hi! Danny : So you like the short hair better. Rachel Green : What? Yeti-I mean Danny? Danny : I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell. Rachel Green : Oh. Listen, I'm so sorry. I would, I would've never fogged you if y'know if you hadn't looked so.... Y'know. Danny : Absolutely. Some people are just into appearances. Rachel Green : What? Danny : That's cool. Cool. Rachel Green : What? Hey! No-no-no! This not cool! You don't even know me! Danny : Come on, you got the shopping bags and the Sack's catalog. Rachel Green : So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here! Danny : Do you? Rachel Green : Well, y'know, if-if kids like to play with Capri pants. Danny : Okay. Rachel Green : And stop saying that! I hate that! Danny : Okay! Rachel Green : Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you? Danny : The pizza-place across the street any good? Rachel Green : What?! Danny : I'm hungry. Wanna get some pizza? You can keep yelling if there's more. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Danny : Stop saying that. I hate that. Chandler Bing : Uh, Ross? Phoebe Buffay : Are you still mad at us? Ross Geller : Yep. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Because we have an "I'm sorry" song. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I'm really not in the mood. Joey Tribbiani : Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we are so sorry. Phoebe Buffay : You're kinda stepping on the song. Joey Tribbiani : Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you. Monica Geller : Whatever you decide, whatever you do. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song! Ross Geller : Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now. Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Exactly! And that's why... Monica Geller : Why don't you come over tonight? And I'll make you favorite dinner. Ross Geller : Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today. Ross Geller : You do, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone... Ross Geller : What are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : I'm not sure. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey, look at you! Where have you been? Rachel Green : Oh, I went to have pizza. With Danny. Monica Geller : How did that happen? Rachel Green : That yeti is one smooth talker. Monica Geller : I hope you're not full, 'cause dinner's almost ready. Rachel Green : Yeah, y'know I-I think I'm just gonna hang out in my room. #ALL# : No! Why? Rachel Green : Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really... I don't mind. Ross Geller : Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh... It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed. Rachel Green : Ross, I... Joey Tribbiani : RACHEL PLEASE!!! JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US!!! Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You see Rach I'm an actor... Ross Geller : Hey! Hey, look! Ugly Naked Guy's back! Rachel Green : I haven't seen him in so long! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, I really missed that fat bastard! Monica Geller : Wow, this is so weird. I just realized this might be the last time we'll all be hanging out together. Joey Tribbiani : It's almost as if he knew. Monica Geller : I'll get it. Hello. Hi Emily! Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. Ross Geller : Hey! Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. She wants to say hi. Hold on. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Emily! Chandler Bing : Hi! Emily Waltham : Hello everyone. So who am I saying hello too? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!! Emily Waltham : Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now. Ross Geller : Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here! Emily Waltham : She's there?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, there-there she is! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, she's here. Emily Waltham : Ross, take me off speakerphone. Ross Geller : Hi. Emily Waltham : How can you do this too me?! I thought I'd made my feelings about Rachel perfectly clear! Ross Geller : Look Emily, I'm just having dinner with my friends, okay? Emily Waltham : You obviously can't keep away from her. Ross Geller : Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with. Emily Waltham : I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the time. Ross Geller : Well, you can't know where I am all the time. Look, this marriage is never gonna work if you don't trust me. Emily Waltham : You're right. Ross Geller : So, can you trust me? Emily Waltham : No. Joey Tribbiani : I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling. Monica Geller : How can you tell? You can only see the back of his head! Joey Tribbiani : You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. Smile! Ross Geller : Well, I guess that's it. #ALL# : Why, what happened? Joey Tribbiani : What happened? What happened? Ross Geller : My marriage is over. #ALL# : What?! Monica Geller : Oh, sweetie. Oh, look at you. You're shivering. Phoebe Buffay : Here. Rachel Green : Ross, honey, is there anything we can do? Ross Geller : Yeah. You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! All right, fine, now I get it. Here. You take it. Are you happy now? I'm cold! Chandler Bing : Are you looking at naked tribe's women? Joey Tribbiani : No, look. Chandler Bing : That's a pig. Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know, but look at the knobs on her. Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Emily's cousin kicked me out! Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Why? Ross Geller : Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back. Chandler Bing : How can he do that? Didn't you sign a lease? Ross Geller : Who needs a lease when it's family! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you can stay with us! We'll take care of ya! Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : You got it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : He thought you said gonad. Health Inspector : Wow, Monica, if every restaurant is as clean as yours, I'd have a tough time making a living. Monica Geller : Oh, Larry. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, do health inspectors work on commission? Larry : No, bribes. Phoebe Buffay : It's okay to laugh right? Larry : Yeah, I was just kidding. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Larry : I'll check the kitchen floors. Monica Geller : Okay, knock yourself out, Larry. Phoebe Buffay : Yum-my! Monica Geller : Larry? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! I'd let him check out my kitchen floors. Larry : A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation. Monica Geller : Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen. Larry : And where is your hat? Monica Geller : It's in the kitchen, I'll go get it. Larry : Ahh that's the 2 points. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show! Larry : Oh, I don't know about that. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but then I can be you sidekick Vunda. Larry : Maybe uh, Vunda could give me her number and I can ask her to dinner sometime. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat. Larry : I-I'll call ya. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : He's so funny! Monica Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Thank you. Mon? Monica Geller : Hmm? Rachel Green : How's Ross doing? Y'know since all the Emily stuff. Monica Geller : He's not great umm, but he's dealing with it. Oh wait a minute, you're not gonna try... Rachel Green : Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced. Monica Geller : Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married. Danny : Two pounds of Moca Java please. Monica Geller : Danny. Are you guys ever gonna go out again? Rachel Green : I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing. Danny : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi Danny! Wow! Thirsty huh? Danny : Uh, actually, actually, I'm having a party at my place on Saturday, it's sort of a house warming kind of thing. Monica Geller : Ohh, fun! Rachel Green : Ohh, great! Danny : Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. Rachel Green : Yeah. Danny : Okay, see ya. Monica Geller : Well, I guess we won't be warming his house. Rachel Green : Okay. All right, I see what he's doing! He's not asking me out, because he wants me to ask him out. Monica Geller : And you're not gonna do that. Rachel Green : That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it? Monica Geller : So-so there is no party. Rachel Green : No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me? Monica Geller : I think so. Se, he-he's not inviting you to his party because he likes you. Rachel Green : Exactly. Joey Tribbiani : Ross? Ross Geller : Hey roomies! Chandler Bing : Love what you've done with the place. Ross Geller : Oh, yeah I know, I know, it's a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here. Joey Tribbiani : Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don't-I was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Ross Geller : Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. We will, we will, call you back! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, all right! Ross Geller : Pretty cool, huh? Joey Tribbiani : You're fake laughing too, right? Chandler Bing : Oh, the tears are real. Larry : You look beautiful this evening. Phoebe Buffay : Show me the badge again. Phoebe Buffay : Shiny. Larry : Oh, will you mind if I wash up? Because I came straight from work and who knows where these babies have been. Phoebe Buffay : You are just nonstop! Larry : We're outta here! Phoebe Buffay : Why?! Larry : Just walking past the kitchen I saw 10 violations! I'm shutting this place down! Phoebe Buffay : You have the power to do that? Larry : This does. Phoebe Buffay : Shut it down. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing. Chandler Bing : You built a fort didn't ya? Joey Tribbiani : Kinda. Chandler Bing : Oh my God, the air purifier! Ross's air purifier! All I heard through 4 years of college was Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you should've gone out once and a while. Chandler Bing : I hate this thing! Joey Tribbiani : Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort! Rachel Green : Oh, hi Danny. Danny : Hey guys, I just uh, wanted to invite you to the party tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Oh, thanks! We'll try to stop by. Rachel Green : Uh, actually, I think I'm gonna be busy. Monica Geller : You are? Rachel Green : Yeah! Remember I got that uh, gala. Danny : Yeah, what's the gala for? Rachel Green : It's a uh, regatta gala. Danny : Really! You-you sail? Rachel Green : No-no, but I support it. Danny : Okay, hope I see you tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Okay. Danny : Take care. Rachel Green : Okay. Walked right into that one didn't he? Monica Geller : What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it! Rachel Green : Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, "No!" Which puts me right back in the driver seat. Monica Geller : Great. So the ball is in his court? Rachel Green : Ball? There is no ball. Ross Geller : Joey, please! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhhhhhhhhh... Chandler Bing : Hello children! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Wanna play some foosball? Please? Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, no! We have to move the table into my room, yeah! 'Cause of all the boxes. Come on! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this? Chandler Bing : Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand? Joey Tribbiani : No, the quiet down thing! Chandler Bing : You mean this. Joey Tribbiani : Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn? Chandler Bing : All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I guess I can hold out a little longer. Let's have a game. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no! Joey Tribbiani : YES!! Ross Geller : Uh fellas, Chandler Bing : Okay, so he's out of here. Joey Tribbiani : Um-hmm. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I took Larry there to eat but it was all violated. So we shut it down! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, if this guy keeps closing down all of our favorite places, where are we gonna eat?! Monica Geller : I don't know, clean places? Joey Tribbiani : Umm, yum! Monica Geller : It's Danny. Rachel Green : Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala. Monica Geller : We'll be right there! Can't you just say it starts later? Rachel Green : What? What kind of a regatta gala starts at night?! Monica Geller : The fake kind! Danny : Hey, hi, I need a ladle. You got a ladle? Monica Geller : We have a ladle. Danny : Thanks, see you at the party. Monica Geller : Okay, great! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." Chandler Bing : Well, I-I-I'm done with this. You want anything Ross? Sports? International? Apartment listings? Ross Geller : I'll take sports. Joey Tribbiani : Mine! Ross Geller : All right. Uhh, international. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's mine too! I'm Italian! Ross Geller : Well, I guess I can check out those apartment listings, even though there's never anything in here. Chandler Bing : Not even on page 7? Ross Geller : Oh yeah! You're-hey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks! Chandler Bing : What about that circled one? Ross Geller : Oh, I-I don't know, it's kind of expensive for a studio. Joey Tribbiani : But it's available now! Isn't it? Chandler Bing : Yes, it is. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, let's go look at it! Ross Geller : Okay, let's go. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Chandler Bing : There we go! Ross Geller : Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it. Chandler Bing : Let's go quicker. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well look at this kitchen, slash bathroom. Well that's great! Y'know so you can cook while in the tub. Joey Tribbiani : Somebody was using his head. Hey, let's check out the rest of the place. Ross Geller : I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking. Joey Tribbiani : But hey, Ross, this place is available now! Chandler Bing : Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with us for the next five weeks. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : So, you-you think I should go ahead and take this place? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's perfect! Ross Geller : How about you? Chandler Bing : It's a kitchen slash bathroom. Ross Geller : All right, I see what you guys are saying. I'll uh, I'll go downstairs and fill out an application. Chandler Bing : We are bad people. Joey Tribbiani : He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen? Larry : Hey, ready for dinner? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, absolutely! Larry : Great! How about you wanted to go the Italian place down on Bleaker Street right? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I love that place! So, no. Larry : How about Mama Lisettie's? Phoebe Buffay : Enh. Sure! Larry : I wonder how long that milk has been setting out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! That-this milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. Okay, let's go! Larry : Hey, buddy! Are you familiar with Section 11-B of the Health Code that requires all refuse material out the back exit? Gunther : But then I'd have to go all the way around the dry cleaner place. Larry : Oh, so you're saying you'd choose convenience over health?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, stop! Larry, okay, can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy? Y'know I mean it was really exciting at first but now it's like, okay, so where are we gonna eat ever? Larry : Well, I suppose I could give him a warning. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Okay, go! Go! Go! Now, if after dinner you still really need to bust someone, I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet! Chandler Bing : Yes that was a nice place! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : What are we gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Maybe pizza? Chandler Bing : About Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Hello! Oh yeah! It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable. Chandler Bing : Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. Well, who doesn't love dogs? Ah, he's a tap dancer! Yes, some would say that is a lost art. He's a pimp! There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! Hello? Chandler Bing : Ohhhhh! Rachel Green : Shoot, shoot, this is never gonna work! He's right there! Monica Geller : Just go over and say hi. Rachel Green : No, I have to go downstairs and come back up as if I'm coming home from the regatta gala. Okay? So just go distract him. But don't be sexy. Monica Geller : Hey, Danny! Danny : Hey! What's going on? Monica Geller : Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. So umm, what's this? Danny : Salad. Monica Geller : Ooooh! And-and-and what-what's this? Danny : Bread. Aren't you a chef? Monica Geller : Oh. Danny : Hey! Rachel! Rachel Green : Hey! Oh right, tonight was your party. Danny : Oh wow, you look great! Glad you could make it. Rachel Green : Oh well, y'know, the gala had to end sometime. Danny : Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back. Rachel Green : Yeah, sure. All right, whose court is the ball in now? Monica Geller : I thought there wasn't a ball? Rachel Green : Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place! Danny : Rachel, this is my friend Tom. This is the girl I told you about. Rachel Green : Oh, go on! You telling people about me? Danny : You two could really hit it off! I'm gonna go mingle. Tom : So you work at Bloomingdale's, huh? My mom calls it Bloomies. Rachel Green : Yeah, okay, at ease solider! Tom : I'm sorry? Rachel Green : No, it's all right, you can just drop the act Tommy. I know what's going on here. Your Danny's wingman right? You guys are best buds. Frat bros! Tom : I'm gonna go talk to uh, a friend. Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah, you go talk to your friend. You tell him, "Nice try." Rachel Green : Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park! Monica Geller : I think I need a drink. Rachel Green : Yeah! Chandler Bing : 98. 99. 100. Okay, go! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! Chandler Bing : Here we go! Here we go! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey. So I uh, I didn't get that apartment. Some problem with my application. Joey Tribbiani : You're kidding! Chandler Bing : You're kidding, no! Ross Geller : Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So... Joey Tribbiani : But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies! Ross Geller : Look, you guys don't need me here taking up your space. Joey Tribbiani : Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there by-by that speaker. Please, just stay! Chandler Bing : Yeah! Ross Geller : Are you guys sure about this? Joey Tribbiani : Definitely! Chandler Bing : Yes! Ross, you have to stay! Ross Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Chandler Bing : All right, buddy! Ross Geller : So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just . Chandler Bing : Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much? Ross Geller : Come on, it's fun! Chandler Bing : All right! Isn't this a woman's hat? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea! Rachel Green : Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us. Ross Geller : I couldn't possibly eat another bite. Joey Tribbiani : I need something sweet. Phoebe Buffay : Does anyone wanna watch TV? #ALL# : Yeah, sure. Phoebe Buffay : Monica your remote doesn't work. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you have to lift it and point. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Aw, forget it. Rachel Green : Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having. Monica Geller : That's very nice. Chandler Bing : That's sweet, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there? Chandler Bing : Are you aware that you're still talking? Monica Geller : Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong? Ross Geller : Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything. Ross Geller : I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worse Thanksgiving ever. Chandler Bing : No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me. Rachel Green : Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you? Ross Geller : Oh God, no. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out! Chandler Bing : It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family. Nora Tyler Bing : Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me. The Housekeeper : More turkey Mr. Chandler? Ross Geller : You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings. Phoebe Buffay : I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse. Chandler Bing : Really? Worse than, "More turkey Mr. Chandler?" Phoebe Buffay : Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse! Phoebe Buffay : More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying- Oh no. Ross Geller : In this life, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this life! Oh okay no, Chandler's is worse. Joey Tribbiani : Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories. Phoebe Buffay : Of course you don't sweetie. You're brand new. Rachel Green : I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving. Monica Geller : Oh, let's not tell this story. #ALL# : Oh, come on! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head! Rachel Green : What?! Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's not like it sounds. Chandler Bing : It's exactly like it sounds. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Joey? What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Look. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : I know! It's stuck!!! Phoebe Buffay : Easy. Step. How did it get on? Joey Tribbiani : I put it on to scare Chandler! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out! Joey Tribbiani : Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here. Phoebe Buffay : Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head up a dead animal. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, did you get the turkey basted-Oh my God! Oh my God! Who is that? Joey Tribbiani : It's Joey. Monica Geller : What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary. Monica Geller : Well, get it off now! Joey Tribbiani : I can't! It-it's stuck! Monica Geller : Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head! Phoebe Buffay : All right, hold on! Okay, let's just all think. Monica Geller : Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. Joey? Now is not the time! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Sorry. Monica Geller : Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3! Chandler Bing : Arghhhhhh!! Joey Tribbiani : It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha! Chandler Bing : I'm over here big guy. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you are! I scared you! Chandler Bing : You did look like an idiot. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?" Ross Geller : Yeah that's the same. Monica Geller : That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it? #ALL# : Which one? Monica Geller : Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians. Monica Geller : Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story! Judy Geller : Monica! I think Rachel's here! Monica Geller : I'll get it! Happy Thanksgiving! Rachel Green : Not for me. Chip and I broke up! Monica Geller : Oh, why? Why? What happened? Rachel Green : Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over... Monica Geller : Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower. Rachel Green : Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! Hi! Jack Geller : Hi Rachel! Rachel Green : Happy Thanksgiving! Judy Geller : You too sweethart! Ross Geller : Hey! Jack Geller : Oh my! Ross Geller : Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band! Monica Geller : Ross! Ross Geller : Oh, this is Monica. Monica Geller : Hi, I'm Ross's little sister. Chandler Bing : Okay. Judy Geller : I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry. Ross Geller : Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food. Judy Geller : Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then. Monica Geller : Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner. Chandler Bing : Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in. Monica Geller : dammit! Ross Geller : So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college. Rachel Green : Oh! No, not really. Ross Geller : Well, that's cool. So did... Rachel Green : Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs! Monica Geller : I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson. Rachel Green : Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men! Ross Geller : Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for. Monica Geller : Call them mom and dad you loser! Ross Geller : Monica! Monica Geller : Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef. Monica Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight! Monica Geller : Oh that's so great! Rachel Green : I know! Monica Geller : Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything. Rachel Green : Oh totally, totally. Y'know it's not that big of deal, we already kinda did it once y'know. Monica Geller : I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it! Rachel Green : I know, I know. And oh, and this time Chip promised that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song! Ross Geller : So I'm thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week. Chandler Bing : Emotional Knapsack? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Right on! Oh! Uh, but, don't take to long okay? 'Cause uh, we're gonna test out our fake ID's tonight, right Clifford Alverez. Ross Geller : Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, I'm gonna be out with her all night. Chandler Bing : Dude, don't do that too me! Ross Geller : All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind. Chandler Bing : No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister. Ross Geller : Hey! Judy Geller : Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge. Monica Geller : No. No, thank you! Jack Geller : Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full! Chandler Bing : I called you fat?! I don't even remember that! Monica Geller : Well, I do. Chandler Bing : I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I can't believe you called her fat. Ross Geller : I can't believe you let George Michael slap you. Chandler Bing : I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry. Rachel Green : Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about. Monica Geller : Yes, it was! Rachel Green : No, it wasn't. It was actually the... Monica Geller : Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, no, I have the cutest Christmas story! Chandler Bing : We wanna hear Monica's Thanksgiving story! Phoebe Buffay : Fine, all right, mine had a dwarf that got broke in half, but y'know whatever. Judy Geller : So Rachel, your mom tells me you changed your major again. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building. Jack Geller : Hi Rachel. Rachel Green : Oh hi! Jack Geller : Wow, love your new nose! Judy Geller : Jack. Jack Geller : What? Dr. Wilson's an artist! He removed my mole cluster. Wanna see? Judy Geller : I'll get it. Rachel Green : No, God! Please, let me! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey. Happy Thanksgiving! Jack Geller : God, your hair sure is different! Chandler Bing : Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. Ross Geller : So uh, where's Monica? Judy Geller : She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving. Monica Geller : Hi, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? Chandler Bing : You just, you look so different! Terrific! That dress! That body! Ross Geller : Dude! Chandler Bing : Sorry! Judy Geller : Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend. Ross Geller : Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams! Monica Geller : So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner. Jack Geller : Dude! Chandler Bing : Sorry. Rachel Green : Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great! Monica Geller : Well it didn't! Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh! Rachel Green : Okay, that we may be able to do. Monica Geller : How? Rachel Green : Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex. Monica Geller : What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him! Rachel Green : Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are. Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him! Rachel Green : Then, you will definitely get him back! Monica Geller : Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him? Rachel Green : Okay, oh, here's what you do. Just act like everything around you turns you on. Monica Geller : What do you mean? Rachel Green : Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him. Monica Geller : I can do that! Rachel Green : Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. Hey, what's up? Chandler Bing : Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year. Monica Geller : Umm, I'd love too! Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Boy, I love carrots! Oh! Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, my body. Chandler Bing : Are you all right? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that- The Doctor : What do we got here? The Paramedic : Twenty year old has got a severed toe on his right foot. Ross Geller : Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it! The Doctor : It says here that the knife went right through your shoe. Jack Geller : Of course it did. They're made of wicker. The Doctor : Did you bring the toe? Monica Geller : Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! The Doctor : Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and- Monica Geller : What?! What is it? The Doctor : You brought a carrot. Chandler Bing : What? The Doctor : This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot. Rachel Green : You brought a carrot?! Judy Geller : Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen. Monica Geller : God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it! The Doctor : It's too late, all we can do now is sow up the wound. Chandler Bing : Without my toe?! I need my toe! Monica Geller : Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche! Jack Geller : Oh, I'm not falling for that one! Chandler Bing : That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?! Monica Geller : I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident. Chandler Bing : That's why for an entire year people called me Sir Limps-A-Lot?! Monica Geller : I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. Monica Geller : Chandler! Ross Geller : Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that. Joey Tribbiani : You're a dork. Chandler Bing : I can't believe this. Monica Geller : Chandler, I said I was sorry. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, sorry doesn't bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later. Monica Geller : Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything? Chandler Bing : Yeah, just leave me alone for a while. Chandler Bing : Oh-oh, I'm a duck! I go, "Quack, quack!" I'm happy all the time! Chandler Bing : Nice try. Monica Geller : Wait, wait, wait! Chandler Bing : Look, Monica... Monica Geller : Look! Chandler Bing : This is not going to work. Monica Geller : I bet this will work! Chandler Bing : You are so great! I love you! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking! Monica Geller : You said you loved me! I can't believe this! Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Monica Geller : Yes, you did! Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Monica Geller : You love me! Chandler Bing : No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Phoebe Buffay : Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! Whew! This is getting ridiculous uh! Phoebe Buffay : What am I sitting on? Chandler Bing : Top of the world? Dock of the bay? I'm out. Phoebe Buffay : Ew-eww!! Undies! Rachel Green : All right! Who's are they? Who's are they? Ross Geller : Well, they're not mine! Chandler Bing : Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they're mine. Chandler Bing : See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's! Ross Geller : Why are they here? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know uhh... Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes. Rachel Green : Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Monica Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : Take 'em! Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? A word. Joey Tribbiani : That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! Ahh! And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8? Monica Geller : Thank you Joey, thank you so much! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and Monica Geller : Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it was! All right, listen, I can't... Chandler Bing : All this lying has been hard on us too. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier! Chandler Bing : Well, yeah actually. Monica Geller : We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret. Chandler Bing : I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships. Monica Geller : We are! Help us! Chandler Bing : Help! Joey Tribbiani : All right! But, you do it with me once. Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Didn't think so. Monica Geller : Hey, Phoebe! Chandler Bing : Hi, Pheebs! Rachel Green : Hey, Pheebs! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs! Rachel Green : What are you reading? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow. Chandler Bing : I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam. Rachel Green : Honey that sounds like fun. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with! Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Okay-ooh, but are you going to have time to read it? Rachel Green : Oh, I read that in high school. Phoebe Buffay : This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish. Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : What's wrong buddy? Ross Geller : Someone at work ate my sandwich! Chandler Bing : Well, what did the police say? Ross Geller : My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it! Chandler Bing : Ross, it's just a sandwich! Ross Geller : Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life! Monica Geller : Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but Ross Geller : That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything. Chandler Bing : Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street. Ross Geller : Really?! So what would you say Pheebs? Stuff like uh, "Keep your mitts off my grub?" Chandler Bing : Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. #ALL# : Whoa! Ohh!! Monica Geller : Phoebe, you are a bad ass! Phoebe Buffay : Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop. Monica Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he stabbed me first!! Rachel Green : Sorry I'm late, but I left late. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : So Pheebs, what is the book about? Phoebe Buffay : I thought you said you read it in high school. Rachel Green : Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anyway-umm, what is this book about? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism. The Teacher : How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here , Rachel Green? Rachel Green : Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story. The Teacher : Well, that's sort of a given, but yes. Anyone else? Rachel Green : Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character. The Teacher : Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here... Phoebe Buffay : You completely stole my answer! Rachel Green : Well, honey that was pretty obvious. Phoebe Buffay : Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it! The Teacher : What do you think? You in the blue shirt. Phoebe Buffay : I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers. The Teacher : Would ya care to venture one? Phoebe Buffay : Would you care to venture one? The Teacher : Are you just repeating what I'm saying? Phoebe Buffay : Are you just repeating what I'm saying? The Teacher : All right, let's move on. Phoebe Buffay : Okay then. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?! Rachel Green : Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you! Ross Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Ross Geller : Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that. Monica Geller : Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller. Ross Geller : That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now! Cynthia : God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out. Joey Tribbiani : So you uh, still wondering? Cynthia : No, we just went out. Joey Tribbiani : You're smart. I like that. Cynthia : Oh, candles! What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no-no, wait-wait-wait!! Cynthia : I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! Joey Tribbiani : Hiya. Rachel Green : Joey, is what she just said umm-Oh my God. You were actually gonna... Chandler Bing : What is going on here? Rachel Green : And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick? Joey Tribbiani : I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. Joey Tribbiani : You guys promised you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Joey name is being dragged through the mud here! Monica Geller : We're so sorry. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig! Chandler Bing : No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your adult film class. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place? Chandler Bing : Oh-I don't know. Joey Tribbiani : Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet! Monica Geller : Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!! Dr. Ledbetter : Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you? Ross Geller : Yeah, of course, Donald. Dr. Ledbetter : We've been getting reports of some very angry behavior on your part. Ross Geller : What?! Dr. Ledbetter : Threatening letters, refusal to meet deadlines, apparently people now call you mental. Ross Geller : Yeah. Dr. Ledbetter : We want you to speak to a psychiatrist. Ross Geller : Oh no, you-you don't understand. Ugh, this is so silly. Umm, this is all because of a sandwich. Dr. Ledbetter : A sandwich? Ross Geller : Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here... Dr. Ledbetter : Oh, you know what? Ross Geller : What? Dr. Ledbetter : I-I'm sorry. I, I-I-I believe I ate that. Ross Geller : You ate my sandwich? Dr. Ledbetter : It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone. Ross Geller : Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moist Maker? Dr. Ledbetter : No. Ross Geller : Do you perhaps seeing a note on top of it? Dr. Ledbetter : There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind. Ross Geller : That said it was my sandwich?! Dr. Ledbetter : Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash. Ross Geller : What? Dr. Ledbetter : Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away. Ross Geller : You-you-you-you threw my sandwich away! Ross Geller : MY SANDWICH?!!! Ross Geller : MY SANDWICH!!!!!! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : So umm, what's this book about? Phoebe Buffay : You didn't read this one either?! Rachel Green : Well, I was gonna, but I accidentally read something else. Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman. Phoebe Buffay : No! You should've read it yourself! Rachel Green : Come on Phoebe! Don't be such a goodie-goodie! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg. Rachel Green : A cyborg?! Isn't that like a robot?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time. The Teacher : Sorry I'm late. Let's get started. So, what did everybody think about Jane Eyre? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights. The Teacher : Well, go ahead Rachel. Rachel Green : Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time. The Teacher : If you're talking about feminism, I think you're right. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, feminism yes, but also the robots. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. Chandler Bing : You're naked in this picture! Monica Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : Ross? Ross Geller : Hey Chandler. Monica! Monica Geller : Ross, are you okay? Ross Geller : I'm fine! I saw a psychiatrist at work today. Monica Geller : Why?! Ross Geller : On account of my rage. Chandler Bing : Which I may say, right now, is out of control. Ross Geller : He gave me a pill for it. Monica Geller : A pill? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work? Chandler Bing : And you're okay with that? Ross Geller : I don't know. It's going to be weird not having a job for a while, but I, I definitely don't care about my sandwich. Rachel Green : Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop. Rachel Green : That was not funny! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously. Rachel Green : Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun! Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school. Rachel Green : Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with? Monica Geller : I know! I know! I know! The Teacher : Monica, you asked the question. Rachel Green : Oh my God! That's Monica!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no! Rachel Green : You get away from me!! You sick, sick, sick, sick-o!! Ross Geller : What's going on? Rachel Green : Joey has got a secret peephole! Chandler Bing : Oh no! No! No! No! Rachel Green : Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them! Rachel Green : Look! Ross Geller : Dude! That's my sister! Monica Geller : Give me that! Phoebe Buffay : All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert! Joey Tribbiani : No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just... I just... Kinda... Chandler Bing : All right, look! Look. I think I can explain this. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Chandler Bing : Joey's a sex addict. Joey Tribbiani : What?!! No I'm not!! Monica Geller : It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease! Joey Tribbiani : No! No! I am not a sex addict! Monica Geller : Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff! Joey Tribbiani : No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth! Rachel Green : Well, what is the truth? Ross Geller : Yeah, what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : I slept with Monica. Chandler Bing : Well let's....let's see what everybody thinks of that? Monica Geller : Oh no! Ross Geller : You slept with my sister? Joey Tribbiani : Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London. Ross Geller : This is not good for my rage. Rachel Green : Monica, is this true? Joey Tribbiani : Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on? Monica Geller : Yes it's true. Rachel Green : Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day? Joey Tribbiani : Ahh-oy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica? Monica Geller : I guess I wanted to keep it as a souvenir. Ross Geller : My God Monica!! Chandler Bing : Are you sure Joe? Are you sure you're not just a sex addict? Joey Tribbiani : No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London! Phoebe Buffay : So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself. Joey Tribbiani : That makes sense! Rachel Green : And the video camera? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, Monica? Monica Geller : I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey. Joey Tribbiani : But sadly I could not be enticed. Ross Geller : Unbelievable! I mean you really kept Joey's underwear?! Why? Why would you do that?! Monica Geller : I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. Phoebe Buffay : I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off. A Female Student : Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know! I didn't come with her! Monica Geller : All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week! #ALL# : A test?!! Monica Geller : Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! We should have essay questions!! Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Ross Geller : I...Reorganized The Fridge. See, Bottom Shelf: Meats And Dairy. And Top Shelf expired products. Joey Tribbiani : Why are you doing this? Ross Geller : Because I am bored...Out of my mind. I've already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. You've got to spread it out a little, you know. Haven't you ever been unemployed? Ross Geller : Hey, I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't get religious on me, ok. A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here...sit down. Ready? Ahh!! Ohh, yeah!! Huh?! Ross Geller : So what, we just sit? Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, no, no. We're not going to just sit. Shhh. Chandler Bing : Hello, Chandler Bing. Joey Tribbiani : Hello Mr. Bing...I love you. Chandler Bing : Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! It's been six months! It's not funny! Joey Tribbiani : But, I love you. Chandler Bing : Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! Joey Tribbiani : And that's Wednesday. Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, guess what? Chandler Bing : The British are coming? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, you and your ways. Since it's Christmastime. I'm going to be one of those people collection donations. #ALL# : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I already have my bell and later on...I get my bucket. Chandler Bing : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, I'm going to be out there spreading joy to the people. I mean, last year, I spread a little joy but not really enough. So this year, I'm going to do the whole city. Monica Geller : You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. Joey Tribbiani : So Pheebs, where are you doing all, your bell ringing? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but I'm the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. I lied. Rachel Green : Oh my god. Ok you guys, there's Danny. Watch. Just watch this. See?! Still pretending he's not interested. Ohh, he's coming over. Just pretend like we don't know him. We've forgotten who he is. Danny : Hey guys. #ALL# : Hey Danny. Monica Geller : Danny? You know Rachel? She's nice. She's not bad to look at, right? Rachel Green : Thanks, Mon. Danny : Well, of course. Monica Geller : Do you want to go out on a date with her? Rachel Green : Monica!!! Danny : Absolutely! Is Friday okay? Monica Geller : Friday's perfect...She can't wait. Danny : On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly? See ya Friday. Rachel Green : Okay. What the hell was that? You know what? Don't answer me. I have a date with Danny. Joey Tribbiani : How could I not get the part? The play was about a 29-year-old Italian actor from Queens. Estelle Leonard : Well, Telia Shire suddenly became available. Joey Tribbiani : She's a woman! Estelle Leonard : What can I say? She nailed it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, is there anything else? Estelle Leonard : Well, you're just going to say no again but...gay porn. Phoebe Buffay : Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : I just wanted to see how it's going. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's going okay. Monica Geller : Well good, here let me help you out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thanks! Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Is that a new Swede jacket? It looks really expensive. Monica Geller : Yeah. I guess. Phoebe Buffay : Just get your nails done? Monica Geller : Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Thanks! Happy Holidays, here's your joy. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! And Happy Holidays. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, you can't take the money out. The Man : I'm making change. I need change for the bus. Phoebe Buffay : But, can't you leave the dollar? This money is for the poor. The Man : I'm poor! I gotta take the bus! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Seasons Greetings and everything, but still... The Man : Bite me, blondie! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just... Joey Tribbiani : That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it! Ross Geller : I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys? Joey Tribbiani : Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it? Joey Tribbiani : Wait a second, I could star in it! Ross Geller : Or that. Joey Tribbiani : I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it. Ross Geller : I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do. Joey Tribbiani : Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?! Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Ross Geller : All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character. Joey Tribbiani : Done! Ross Geller : And it can't be Joey. Joey Tribbiani : It's not. Ross Geller : Or Joseph. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Monica Geller : Hey, what's up? Rachel Green : I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her. Monica Geller : Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Well, you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!! Monica Geller : You had no relationship!! Rachel Green : No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan! Monica Geller : Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl. Rachel Green : She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm gonna go on the date. That is the new plan. Monica Geller : Come on, hurry! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how do you spell suspicious? Chandler Bing : Why? Joey Tribbiani : Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff. Chandler Bing : Yes! Chandler Bing, 7! Chandler Bing, 0. Joey Tribbiani : You're driving me crazy with that! Chandler Bing : Okay, I'll stop. Joey Tribbiani : Don't stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot! Joey Tribbiani : Well, you suck! But at least you suck at a man's game now. Chandler Bing : You wanna play? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule. Chandler Bing : Well, so, play for the next 30 minutes and then write until he gets home. Joey Tribbiani : All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch? Chandler Bing : I'm intrigued. Joey Tribbiani : All right, all we need is a little lighter fluid. Chandler Bing : Okay, but be careful okay, because I wanna get our security deposit back. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts. Chandler Bing : Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle? Joey Tribbiani : Uh yeah, right here. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you, Happy Holidays. Phoebe Buffay : Now, that's trash. Young lady, you can't... Hey! Stop that young lady, she donated trash! Phoebe Buffay : Hey!! The charity's on fire! Help! Oh good! Thank you, I need that. Whoa! What is that?! It's nine o'clock in the morning! Ross Geller : All right. A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. That's it? Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! And what is, and what is all this?! The official rulebook of Fireball. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's the uh, game we were playing. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and some lighter fluid-Op! Op! Ross Geller : This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game! Joey Tribbiani : You're right, you're right, I'll get back to work. Ross Geller : And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. Now come on! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! Ahh! Danny : I had a really nice time tonight. Rachel Green : So did I. I'm really glad Monica asked us out. Danny : I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch. Rachel Green : You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch! Danny's Sister : Oh, I thought I heard you. Danny : Oh hey, great, you're up. Rachel, this is my sister Krista. Krista, this is Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Krista : Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up! Danny : Like it would help. Krista : You are so bad! Danny : You are! Krista : You are! Danny : You are! Krista : You are! Danny : You are! Krista : You are! Danny : You are so dead! I'm gonna get you. Rachel Green : Uh, it was very nice meeting you. Phoebe Buffay : Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you? Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Does it look like an ashtray? Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Does it look like a urinal? Monica Geller : Eww!! Ross Geller : So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what? Phoebe Buffay : Well, yeah! But I'm not gonna take anymore crap. Okay? No more Mrs. Nice Bucket! Monica Geller : Yeah, good for you. Y'know you're tough, you lived on the streets. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah! Oh but, y'know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, umm, can I ask you guys something? Monica Geller : Sure. Rachel Green : Uh, I don't have any brothers so I don't know, but uh, did you guys wrestle? Ross Geller : Oh-oh, yeah. Monica Geller : All the time. In fact, I was undefeated. Ross Geller : Uh, you weighted 200 pounds. Monica Geller : Still, I was quick as a cat. Rachel Green : Well, I met Danny's sister yesterday, and uh that was actually the girl on the subway. Monica Geller : Oh, you're kidding. Rachel Green : Yeah, they were very y'know...wrestley. But, I guess that's normal? Monica Geller : We don't, we don't wrestle now. Ross Geller : Yeah, not since I got too strong for you. Monica Geller : Too strong for me? Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : You wanna go right now? 'Cause I'll take you right now, buddy! You wanna go? Ross Geller : Oh fine. Monica Geller : Ready? Wrestle! Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what uh, actually, that's great. That helps a lot. Thanks. Chandler Bing : Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe! Ross Geller : Joey's not going. Joey Tribbiani : I didn't finish my five pages. Chandler Bing : Well, why can't you do them tomorrow? Ross Geller : Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages. Joey Tribbiani : Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work. Chandler Bing : Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done. Ross Geller : I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, if you think Fireball's relaxing, you've obviously have never played. Chandler Bing : The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed. Ross Geller : I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical! Joey Tribbiani : Come on look guys, don't fight. Ross Geller : And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing. Chandler Bing : Oh, so being a good friend means acting like a total jerk? Ross Geller : If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey guys, hey! How about we settle this over a friendly game of Fireball? Huh? I'll go unhook the smoke detectors! Ross Geller : How about we settle this right now! There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha! Chandler Bing : I paid for those tickets! Ross Geller : No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Danny : ...so we finally get to the top of the mountain and airhead here forgets the camera! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time. Chandler Bing : When did that happen to you?! Joey Tribbiani : Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a picture-I didn't have my camera! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah. First off all, chasing the Churo guy isn't jogging. Krista : Oh, this is so good you have got to try it. Danny : Oh, damn! I got it on my pants. Krista : Here, I'll get it. Krista : We'd better take these pants off upstairs or that stain's gonna set. Danny : Yep. I'm gonna wear these on our date tonight. Rachel Green : Oh, great! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye! Oh my God!! Monica Geller : That was unbelievable! Rachel Green : Okay, see? I told you! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, wow, sorry Rach. Chandler Bing : I don't believe they're brother and sister. Joey Tribbiani : They're brother and sister!!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, open up your hand; let me take a look. Quarter. Dime. Lint? Not interested in that. What's this? A Canadian coin? Get outta here! Phoebe Buffay : Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! Hi Bob! I thought I told you to get outta here! Bob : Uh, Phoebe we've been getting complaints and uh, we're gonna move you to a less high-profile spot. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Bob : Umm, Ginger's gonna take over this corner. Phoebe Buffay : That chick can't handle my corner. Bob : Look, either you leave, or we remove you. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. Danny : Oh, hey Rach! I thought we said seven? Rachel Green : Yeah uh, y'know what uh, let's skip it. Danny : What?! Why?! Rachel Green : Umm, you-you and your sister seem to have umm, a very special bond, and... Danny : Oh great! That special bond again! Why do women have such a problem with the fact that I'm close with my sister? Rachel Green : Well, okay, look. I don't know, listen, I don't know what's going on here but let's... Danny : Do-do you, do you have brothers? Rachel Green : No, I have two sisters. But one of them has a very masculine energy. Danny : Are you close with them? Rachel Green : No-no, they're not very nice people. Danny : Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us? Rachel Green : Well, uh, I-I don't know. See when-when you put it that way y'know it does sort of... Krista : Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold! Danny : What? Rachel Green : Yeah, okay, I'll see you later. Chandler Bing : Oh hey! There's some kids playing in the street, you wanna go down there and give them a project, ruin their day? Ross Geller : Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today! Ross Geller : Yay! Chandler Bing : Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! Last night! Joey Tribbiani : No dude, Ross tore up the tickets! Ross Geller : I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh? Chandler Bing : Yeah or also when you don't have somebody breathing down your neck ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me? Chandler Bing : All right. Ross Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross Ross Geller : Hey man. Chandler Bing : What is up? Ross Geller : About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry. Chandler Bing : No, it was me. I'm sorry. I over reacted. Ross Geller : Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest... But we had our best friend's interest at heart. Chandler Bing : Could I be more sorry. Ross Geller : I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. All right Joey, we get it. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry too. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no! No-no, keep reading! The good part's coming up. Keep going. Ross Geller : I am sorry, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I am sorry, Ross. Joey Tribbiani : A handsome man enters. Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you well you co-created Fireball. The end. Chandler Bing : This took you all day?! Joey Tribbiani : No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. Ha-ha! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out. Monica Geller : Hi, how are you doing Kelly? Rachel Green : I'm doing just fine! God, Tiffany, you smell so great! Monica Geller : It's my new perfume. Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it? Rachel Green : Oh, y'know Joey, you are sick! Monica Geller : This is disgusting! Rachel Green : I'm not reading this! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Wait-wait-wait! The handsome man was about to enter!! Jay Leno : Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing? Joey Tribbiani : All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey! Chandler Bing : We're very happy for you. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter?! Chandler Bing : We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know... Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll take care of it. Monica Geller : Oh no, wait! Joey! Ross Geller : 73! 72! 71! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe? Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Well you gotta kiss someone, you can't kiss your sister. Ross Geller : Well, who's gonna kiss my sister. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler. Ross Geller : Awww, man! Really? Joey Tribbiani : Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler? Ross Geller : That's a good point. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, great! Ross Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight! Phoebe Buffay : It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask? Joey Tribbiani : Rach! Rach! Listen, I'm gonna kiss you at midnight. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history. Rachel Green : So? Joey Tribbiani : So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler? Rachel Green : Oh, good point. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! #ALL# : 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Chandler Bing : Happy New Year! Monica Geller : Happy New Year. Ross Geller : Happy New Year, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : You too! Rachel Green : Happy New Year, Joey! Joey Tribbiani : So did that do anything for ya? Ross Geller : Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99! Rachel Green : But your divorce isn't even final yet. Ross Geller : Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy. Chandler Bing : Do you want us to leave the room, or? Ross Geller : Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet. Chandler Bing : That's good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane. Monica Geller : She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us. Ross Geller : In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week. Chandler Bing : I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" And it starts right now! Joey Tribbiani : All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar. Ross Geller : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! How come? Joey Tribbiani : Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it would be great if one of those was true. Phoebe Buffay : Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Who-who have you taught? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I taught me and I love me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that'd be great! Thanks Pheebs! Rachel Green : Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, maybe your resolution should be to umm, gossip less. Rachel Green : I don't gossip! Rachel Green : Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip? Monica Geller : Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, I would. Rachel Green : What? They were like this! Woman : I'll see you tomorrow. Ross Geller : Okay! Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : I just asked that girl out. Chandler Bing : Nice! Joey Tribbiani : Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today? Ross Geller : Yes it is. See. Chandler Bing : Elizabeth Hornswoggle? Ross Geller : That's right, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle. Chandler Bing : Horn-swoggle. Joey Tribbiani : You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name? Chandler Bing : No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. Joey Tribbiani : Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! Ross Geller : Hi, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth Hornswoggle. Phoebe Buffay : Hornswoggle? Ooh, this must be killing you. Ross Geller : All right, see you later. Joey Tribbiani : See ya! All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! First you learn here, then you learn here. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Lesson One: Chords. Now, I Don'T Know The Actual Names Of The Chords But Umm, I-I-I Made Up Names For The Way My Hand Looks While I'M Doing Them. So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. Chandler Bing : What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular. Phoebe Buffay : Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all. Rachel Green : I didn't! Even when I found out...umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and... Phoebe Buffay : Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?! Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Give me your hands. Strings. Gimme it! Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Then don't touch one!! Ross Geller : Hi! Ben Geller : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi Ben! Ben Geller : Auntie Monica!! Chandler Bing : Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? Someone comment on the pants! Rachel Green : I think they're very nice. Monica Geller : I like 'em. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Monica Geller : I like them a lot. Chandler Bing : That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. Maybe there's something in that area. Ross Geller : Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before." Chandler Bing : Oh come on!! Ross Geller : Okay, seriously, what do you think? Joey Tribbiani : You look like a freak. Rachel Green : Awful, absolutely awful. Ross Geller : What are you, what are you doing? Monica Geller : It's my New Year's resolution! Ross Geller : What, to blind my child? Monica Geller : No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures. Joey Tribbiani : Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. Ross Geller : My God! These pants are burning up! Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! Are you hot? Elizabeth Hornswoggle : No. Ross Geller : Okay, it must just be me then. Ross Geller : That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom? Elizabeth Hornswoggle : No, go ahead. Ross Geller : Thanks. Ross Geller : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... Elizabeth Hornswoggle : Hey, my favorite part is coming up! Ross Geller : 'Kay! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Tiger! Dragon! Iceberg!! Joseph, did you even study at all last night? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes, I did. Phoebe Buffay : Then do Iceberg! Joey Tribbiani : G-sharp. Phoebe Buffay : G-sharp? Have you been studying the real names of the chords? Have you? Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : What?! I didn't touch a guitar! Phoebe Buffay : No, but you're questioning my method! Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! What?! Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid. Joey Tribbiani : Your other student, was you! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder! Joey Tribbiani : Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!! Rachel Green : "Baddest man in the whole damn town." Phoebe Buffay : Oh, fine! Take his side! Monica Geller : I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours. Chandler Bing : Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? Monica Geller : Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big... Rachel Green : Arghh!! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Ross Geller : Joey, it's Ross! I need some help! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, Chandler's not here. Ross Geller : Well, you can help me! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom... Joey Tribbiani : Nice! Ross Geller : No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't! Joey Tribbiani : Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder? Ross Geller : Powder! Yeah! Yeah, I have powder! Joey Tribbiani : Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up. Ross Geller : Yeah, okay, hold on! They're not coming on man. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, do you see any-oh, Vaseline? Ross Geller : Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there. Ross Geller : Hold on. Joey Tribbiani : Ross? You okay? Ross Geller : They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste! Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Uhh, what color is it? Ross Geller : What difference does that make?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm just-if the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference! Rachel Green : Joey, do you have a minute? Ross Geller : Dude, what am I gonna... Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, I have such a problem! Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something! Joey Tribbiani : What-what is it, what is it? Rachel Green : Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know! Rachel Green : Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable! Joey Tribbiani : I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone! Rachel Green : What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they? Joey Tribbiani : And you're not supposed to be gossiping!! Rachel Green : I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone... Joey Tribbiani : I'm not listening to you! Elizabeth Hornswoggle : Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out. Ross Geller : All right, I'm coming out. Hey, can you turn the lights off. Elizabeth Hornswoggle : No, let's just leave the lights on. Elizabeth Hornswoggle : Oh my God! Ross Geller : I had a problem. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages! Joey Tribbiani : Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. You really think I'm ready? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Cool! Joey Tribbiani : Was the chord at least right... Phoebe Buffay : No! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : We heard about your pants, I'm so sorry. Ross Geller : This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit! #ALL# : No. No, you're not a loser. Ross Geller : Look at me! Monica Geller : Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! Huh? You're-you're a cowboy! Ross Geller : Oh, be-because of the leather pants. Monica Geller : See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : That really is something; that's really cool. Joey Tribbiani : Howdy partner! Ross Geller : Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. I would make a good cowboy. Monica Geller : Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, me too. Y'know if this shirt is dirty. Yep. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended. Rachel Green : Good luck, honey! Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Rachel Green : Hey, uh, Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Umm? Rachel Green : Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no! Rachel Green : I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right? Joey Tribbiani : Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah! Rachel Green : Yeah. Well. Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me? Joey Tribbiani : Now? You want me to go over there now? Rachel Green : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Do you know something? Rachel Green : Do you know something? Joey Tribbiani : I might know something. Rachel Green : I might know something too. Joey Tribbiani : What's the thing you know? Rachel Green : Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know. Joey Tribbiani : I can't tell you what I know. Rachel Green : Well then I can't tell you what I know. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, fine. Joey Tribbiani : You don't know! Rachel Green : All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! Joey Tribbiani : YOU KNOW!!!! Rachel Green : AND YOU KNOW!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know!!!! Rachel Green : Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known? Joey Tribbiani : Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain. Rachel Green : Ohhh, yeah, me too. Phoebe Buffay : That's weird. I bet they're doing it. Chandler Bing : Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! Rachel Green : Come on Joey!!! Joey Tribbiani : Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it. Rachel Green : I can't believe you would say that! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love. Rachel Green : No! I mean come on! This is a huge deal! Fine I want-I need more details, who-who initiated the first kiss? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Rachel Green : Is he romantic with her? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Rachel Green : Are they in love? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Rachel Green : You don't know anything. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, I know one thing! Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : They did it right there on the couch. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey-yeah. Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily! #ALL# : What? Oh! Chandler Bing : Sorry man. Gunther : Here's your scone. Ross Geller : Oh, thanks Gunther. STUPID BRITISH SNACK FOOD!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : Did they teach you that in your anger management class? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase? Rachel Green : Pheebs, I don't think anyone's mad about that. Phoebe Buffay : Exactly! Because it's in the past! Joey Tribbiani : Anybody gonna eat that? Monica Geller : Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating? Chandler Bing : Oh, we had a lot of liquor left over from the Christmas party. Monica Geller : I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide. Chandler Bing : I know, I can do this. Monica Geller : Ooh, and I can do this. Both : We can't do that. Doug : Hey Bing! Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you? Chandler Bing : I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, this is Monica. This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica. Monica Geller : Hi, nice to meet you! Doug : Hi! And this is my wife Kara. Kara : Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! Doug : Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us? Chandler Bing : No, sir. Doug : Yeah, Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. Doug : Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. Monica Geller : What was that? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : That noise you just made? Chandler Bing : Oh, that was my work laugh. Monica Geller : Really? Your work laugh? Chandler Bing : Oh, believe me, to survive this party, you're gonna have to come up with one too. Monica Geller : All right, check me out. Chandler Bing : Okay. Doug : ...says $30 Father; same as in town. Chandler Bing : Hey! Everybody at work loved you last night! Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet. Monica Geller : Hey, I thought you already had one. Chandler Bing : Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at...bigger rocks. Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet? Rachel Green : Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back. Chandler Bing : Okay, good luck with that. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : What's up?! Monica Geller : What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day. Rachel Green : Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you? Monica Geller : Uhh, not much. Uh, work's good. Rachel Green : Oh y'know what, we don't have to talk about work. We can talk about anything! Monica Geller : Okay. Umm... Rachel Green : Hey! Y'know what? Let's talk about relationships! Monica Geller : Okay, what's going on with you? Rachel Green : Nothing! You go! Monica Geller : Well, I-I-there was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore. Rachel Green : Wow that's uh, juicy. Umm, y'know what though Mon, I actually do have a lot of work to do so if-if-are you sure there's just not anything else? Monica Geller : Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about? Rachel Green : No! If there was I wouldn't tell you. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then what happened? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You'll get your turn! Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing! This is not over! Ross Geller : No! No! No! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in... Actually, thanks! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies? Ross Geller : Uh actually, I think I'm gonna skip it. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff. Ross Geller : That's okay, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : All right, let's go Pheebs. Ross Geller : Oh God! Doug : Bing! Kara : Oww!! Monica Geller : Game! Doug : Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. Are you all right sweethart? Kara : I'm not all right. Doug : We're, we're just gonna get a little sip of water. Monica Geller : Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved! Chandler Bing : Okay, easy Martina. I think we should let them win the next game. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said. Chandler Bing : Let them win one. Monica Geller : Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills. Chandler Bing : You're not even giving them a chance! Monica Geller : They have racquets don't they?! Doug : Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game. Chandler Bing : Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? Please let them win! Monica Geller : I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do. Chandler Bing : Oopsey, missed it! Monica Geller : I got it! Doug : Nice shot. Monica Geller : I got it!! Chandler Bing : Long! Monica Geller : I can't believe you let them win! Chandler Bing : Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. Monica Geller : I was frustrated. Chandler Bing : It was my racquet. Monica Geller : I was frustrated with you! Chandler Bing : If we hadn't lost the game they never would've invented us to dinner tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Y'know what really bothers me? Is-it's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up. Chandler Bing : Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight. Monica Geller : I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe we should check the trash chute. Rachel Green : Ross couldn't fit down the trash chute. Joey Tribbiani : That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : There he is! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Where the hell have you been?!! Ross Geller : Just, y'know out. Rachel Green : Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there! Phoebe Buffay : What were you doing? Ross Geller : I uh, went to a bar. And then I just uh, just walked around for a while. Rachel Green : You walked around all night in the city by yourself? Joey Tribbiani : He hooked up! He hooked up with someone. Ross Geller : Look, I don't have to answer your questions! Okay? I'm a big boy, I can do whatever I want! Joey Tribbiani : He hooked up!! Tell us about her! Janice Litman Goralnik : Ross you left you scarf in... Hey you guys. Janice Litman Goralnik : Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever! Rachel Green : Yeah! No that's what I was thinking. Janice Litman Goralnik : So I'm asking you please, take a moment before you judge me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, nobody's judging you. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! Okay! You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! Ross Geller : Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say... Phoebe Buffay : You two will have very hairy children. Ross Geller : Okay, I didn't know you would say that. Rachel Green : Ross! Janice?! Joey Tribbiani : All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind. Ross Geller : Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids. Phoebe Buffay : So are you actually gonna see her again? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head! Ross Geller : I am gonna see her again. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit Phoebe!! Rachel Green : Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go! Monica Geller : My turn? What-what are you talking about? Rachel Green : Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler. Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big." Monica Geller : Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out. Rachel Green : Well, I wouldn't know because I got so freaked out that I hung up the phone. Monica Geller : Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big......ot. Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes. Rachel Green : All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler. Monica Geller : Me and Chandler?! Joey Tribbiani : All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. And they're off! Phoebe Buffay : Get your foot off my contestant! Judge! Joey Tribbiani : Judge rules, no violation. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Ross Geller : Hey guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Are you serious?! Ross Geller : Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention. Phoebe Buffay : You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We... Joey Tribbiani : And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter! Phoebe Buffay : No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton! Joey Tribbiani : Judge rules, Nutter-Butter. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, tough call. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Doug : But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. Kara : So how do you kids like your coffee? Monica Geller : Oh, none for me. Thanks. Chandler Bing : Just a little bit of sugar. Doug : Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? Monica Geller : How does that laugh not give you a headache? Chandler Bing : Oh, you get used to it. Monica Geller : Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things. Chandler Bing : So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal? Monica Geller : I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect. Chandler Bing : Oh. Doug : Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. Did you hear what I said Bing? Chandler Bing : What? Doug : The joke Bing. What's the matter with you? Chandler Bing : Well, I-I just didn't think it was funny sir. Doug : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : Well, I just... Monica Geller : Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey? Chandler Bing : I think I do! Thank you, Monica. Monica Geller : I thought you could use the help. Chandler Bing : Coffee in a fight! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here? Rachel Green : Sure! Why? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate. Rachel Green : What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now! Chandler Bing : All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?! Monica Geller : Sorry! I'm just-I'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel! Chandler Bing : But we're not ready to tell yet! Monica Geller : I know! It's just that...ever since high school Rachel was the one person I told everything too. Y'know? I miss that so much now. She's my best friend. Monica Geller : Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel! Rachel Green : Hey! Hi! Monica Geller : Wh-wh-what are you doing here? Rachel Green : Well, I was actually-I-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better. Monica Geller : Okay great! Rachel Green : Yeah! Monica Geller : Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it! Rachel Green : Oh! What a great way to earn some extra pocket money. Monica Geller : Y'know when I said to you earlier that I was at work umm, I'm at my new work. Rachel Green : That's good enough. Right? Okay, well umm, I'm gonna go look at my books! Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : I'll get back to my new job. Rachel Green : 'Kay. Congratulations on your new job. Chandler Bing : Man, she is really gullible. Gunther : Here you go. Ross Geller : Thanks! Janice Litman Goralnik : Actually, I should get going. Ross Geller : Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right? Janice Litman Goralnik : Yes! Yes! You did! Ross Geller : Oh... Janice Litman Goralnik : What is wrong now?! Ross Geller : This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then... Janice Litman Goralnik : I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffee-ahh!! Ross, we need to talk. Ross Geller : Okay. Sometimes I feel... Janice Litman Goralnik : No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun. Ross Geller : Huh? Janice Litman Goralnik : You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!! Ross Geller : Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well yeah!! Ross Geller : OH...MY...GOD!! Janice Litman Goralnik : Are you gonna be okay? Ross Geller : I am now. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, hi. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. Ross Geller : Dude, we got to talk. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. What you're-you're not mad? Chandler Bing : Why would I be mad? Ross Geller : Well, because y'know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your uh, friend's ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to. Chandler Bing : I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you. Ross Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free! Ross Geller : All right. Chandler Bing : And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it down-let's write it down! Monica Geller : I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica! Chandler Bing : Oh! Look at that, time's up! My turn! Monica Geller : That was a half an hour? Chandler Bing : It's your timer. Monica Geller : Y'know, I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages! Chandler Bing : All right, then massage me up right nice! Chandler Bing : Ah! Ahh!! Ahh!! Monica Geller : It's so good, isn't it? Chandler Bing : It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it! Monica Geller : Say good-bye to sore muscles! Chandler Bing : Good-bye muscles!! Chandler Bing : I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I just-I didn't know what it was! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her. Chandler Bing : Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth. Ross Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! Ross Geller : Sorry. Chandler Bing : And the bunny got away. Ross Geller : This would be the place where you explain the hat. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff. Chandler Bing : And you're gonna make them all disappear. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this. Chandler Bing : Done. Rachel Green : Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Thanks, Rach! Rachel Green : Sure! God, please take those off! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, how's it going? Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Is everything okay? Joey Tribbiani : Are you all right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! Sorry! Phoebe Buffay : It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit. Rachel Green : Well maybe, maybe she's with us right now? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse! Monica Geller : Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside. Ross Geller : Uhh, Pheebs' Grandmother just died. Monica Geller : Ohh my God, I'm so sorry. Phoebe Buffay : It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins. Monica Geller : Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die? Phoebe Buffay : Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, I'm so sorry. Phoebe Buffay : It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter. Rachel Green : Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear? Joey Tribbiani : All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then. Rachel Green : Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Really? A purse? Rachel Green : It's not a purse! It's a shoulder bag. Joey Tribbiani : It looks like a women's purse. Rachel Green : No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. See look, men, carrying the bag. Joey Tribbiani : See look, women, carrying the bag. But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man. Rachel Green : Exactly! Unisex! Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago. Rachel Green : No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I ain't gonna say no to that. Ursula Buffay : Who is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's Phoebe. Ursula Buffay : Oh great! Oh, you. Umm, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in? Ursula Buffay : Umm, yeah-no thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, well, umm Grandma died. Ursula Buffay : Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago? Phoebe Buffay : No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow. Ursula Buffay : Okay, I know that I went to that all ready. Phoebe Buffay : No you didn't! Ursula Buffay : Well, then who's been dead for five years? Phoebe Buffay : Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not? Ursula Buffay : Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So... I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. Ursula Buffay : Thanks! Enjoy your funeral. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Chandler Bing : Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani! Joey Tribbiani : What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book! Ross Geller : Your make-up! Rachel Green : Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. Rachel Green : Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it. Joey Tribbiani : Why would I return it? I love this bag! Rachel Green : All right, then you owe me $350. Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? Rachel Green : Joey... Joey Tribbiani : All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you. Ross Geller : What's the part, Anti-man? Rachel Green : Hey, don't listen to them. I think it's sexy. Joey Tribbiani : U-N-I-sexy? Phoebe Buffay : Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on. Rachel Green : Hi sweetie! Ross Geller : Hey, how are you holding up? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs, I'm so sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag! Joey Tribbiani : Here, I brought you some flowers. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Chandler Bing : Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine. Man : Oops, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Is this the umm, the memorial? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, welcome. Man : Hello. Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Umm here's your 3-D glasses. Man : Oh, umm, all right. Phoebe Buffay : So how did you know Francis? Man : Well I actually, I-I really, I haven't seen her for years. But umm, well I-I was pretty tight with-with her and her daughter. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! What's your name? Man : Umm, Frank Buffay. Frank Buffay Sr. : Y'know what? Strike that. My name uh, actually is-is Joe. Uh, Joe umm, Hill. Phoebe Buffay : You're Frank Buffay? Frank Buffay Sr. : Shh! No! Joe Hill! Phoebe Buffay : You just said... Frank Buffay Sr. : Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. Phoebe Buffay : But... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica Geller : What?! What honey? Ross Geller : What happened? Phoebe Buffay : That was my dad! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. It's like it's coming right at me. Monica Geller : Oh, did you catch him?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Wh-what did he say?! Phoebe Buffay : He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name? Rachel Green : Why?! Why not?! Phoebe Buffay : Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned! Joey Tribbiani : What did you say to him? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later. The Pastor : Could everyone please take their seats? Phoebe Buffay : All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : All right, let's go say good-bye. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look? Rachel Green : Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part. Chandler Bing : And a date with a man! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, comes with a bag! Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad. Rachel Green : Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out Ross Geller : Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" I kinda scared myself. Monica Geller : Well, at least you scared someone. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?! Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone! Monica Geller : I give good massages! I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! Phoebe Buffay : He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain! Monica Geller : No he's not! Chandler Bing : Yes, he is! Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry but, ow-owww-owww! Monica Geller : You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that. Ross Geller : Well, maybe he just didn't want to hurt your feelings. Monica Geller : But the minute we start to lie to each other... And by 'we' I mean society. The Casting Director : Any time you're ready, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink. The Casting Director : I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure. Well, you must be new here. Maybe we should-I'm sorry, can I ask you something? The Casting Director : Sure. What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, first it's not a purse. The Casting Director : Okay, anytime. Joey Tribbiani : I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag! The Casting Director : Okayyyy! Anddd, go! Joey Tribbiani : All right look, let me show you the catalog! See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them! The Casting Director : Umm, do you sell these bags? Joey Tribbiani : Noooo. No-no-no, these babies sell themselves. The Casting Director : Okay! Thank you! That was great! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah but I didn't read anything. The Casting Director : I think we've seen enough! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! All right, I'll see ya. We got it! We got it! Chandler Bing : Hey, is Rachel here? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. Y'know? I-I really like 'em. Monica Geller : Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell me-just say, "I don't like your massages." Chandler Bing : I don't like your massages. Monica Geller : See? It's no big deal. Chandler Bing : Okay, but now see you're crying! Monica Geller : I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages. Chandler Bing : It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You don't know me at all! Chandler Bing : Okay, you give the worst massages in the world. Monica Geller : I'm crying here!! Chandler Bing : Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you. Monica Geller : Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that? Chandler Bing : Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes! Monica Geller : So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica? Chandler Bing : Absolutely! Monica Geller : Okay. I suck! Chandler Bing : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, thank you for meeting with me. Frank Buffay Sr. : Thank you. All right. Phoebe Buffay : Come, sit. Sit. Sit! Umm, all righty, before we get started I just-I need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay. Frank Buffay Sr. : Oh yes. Yes, yes, I am, uh-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Frank Buffay Sr. : So, what did Francis leave me? Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Frank Buffay Sr. : Well, that's why you wanted me to come, right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes. Yes. Yeah-no. She did. She left you umm, this lipstick. Frank Buffay Sr. : Oh. Huh. It's huh, well it's oh it's-ew used. Umm, cool. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct? Frank Buffay Sr. : Yes, yes I was. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children? Frank Buffay Sr. : It really says that?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. See? Frank Buffay Sr. : Well then I guess then I-I would I would have to say C. Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man? Frank Buffay Sr. : Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. But umm... Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Frank Buffay Sr. : Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please? Phoebe Buffay : But you-you-you came to see Lilly? Frank Buffay Sr. : Yeah, yeah. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Lilly's dead. Frank Buffay Sr. : She what?! Phoebe Buffay : She's dead. Frank Buffay Sr. : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake. Frank Buffay Sr. : I can't believe this. I just-I can't believe this. How-how-Oh my God. How long ago? Phoebe Buffay : 17 years ago. Frank Buffay Sr. : Oh! What about, what about the girls? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, is on this couch. Phoebe Buffay : Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you! Frank Buffay Sr. : Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, Oops. I just, I-I-I-I don't, I don't know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty. Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there. Frank Buffay Sr. : So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what, it doesn't matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go. Frank Buffay Sr. : All right. Well, y'know in my defense I was a lousy father. Phoebe Buffay : That's a defense? Frank Buffay Sr. : Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more! Phoebe Buffay : You make up songs? Frank Buffay Sr. : Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. Frank Buffay Sr. : I just, I y'know, I'm not very good at this. So, umm... Phoebe Buffay : Well, I am. Phoebe Buffay : Not yet, no. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. #ALL# : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey man, how did the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Estelle said I didn't get it. Rachel Green : What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me. Ross Geller : What kind of problem? Joey Tribbiani : Well to tell you the truth, they uh, they had a problem with the bag! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Nooooo! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? It was a stupid play anyway! Monica Geller : Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag. Joey Tribbiani : I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? Oh, you think I should give up the bag! Rachel Green : Honey wait, Joey, I'm sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it... Chandler Bing : Oh, hey! Rachel Green : ...I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe I'm hearing this! Rachel Green : Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldn't have a bag, I just-it's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, controversial. Chandler Bing : Yeah umm, they're called wallets. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes! Rachel Green : I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving. Ross Geller : Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled clothes. Rachel Green : Ohh, I'm gonna miss that big old squishy butt. Chandler Bing : And we're done with the chicken fried rice. Ross Geller : Hey! Hey! If he's moving, maybe I should try to get his place! #ALL# : Good idea! Yes! Ross Geller : It would be so cool to live across from you guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, yeah! Then we could do that telephone thing! Y'know, you have a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string! Chandler Bing : Or we can do the actual telephone thing. Ross Geller : Oh my God! I love this apartment! Isn't it perfect?! I can't believe I never realized how great it is! Rachel Green : Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man. Phoebe Buffay : It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it. Ross Geller : Ohh. Rachel Green : Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!! Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!! Rachel Green : OH MY GOD!!! Phoebe Buffay : OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!! Rachel Green : Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!! Phoebe Buffay : NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!! Rachel Green : I KNOW!! I KNOW!! I KNOW! Phoebe Buffay : YOU KNOW?!!! Rachel Green : Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!! Ross Geller : What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh!!! Rachel Green : HI!! Hi! Ross Geller : What?! What?! Rachel Green : Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment! Ross Geller : Actually, it looks really good. Phoebe Buffay : Get in here!!! Phoebe Buffay : You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping or-Oh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp! Rachel Green : Uh-huh, doing it. Doing it. Phone doing it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh, I can't believe it! I mean I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Rachel Green : Joey! Come here! Come here! Joey Tribbiani : What? What? Rachel Green : Phoebe just found out about Monica and Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : You mean how they're friends and nothing more? Rachel Green : No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over! Phoebe Buffay : Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own. Rachel Green : Wh-what do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do. Rachel Green : Ohhh, I-I would enjoy that! Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them. Rachel Green : Ehhh, no, I wanna do Phoebe's thing. Joey Tribbiani : I can't take any... Phoebe Buffay : No! You don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know! Joey Tribbiani : Noo! I can't take any more secrets! I've got your secrets. I've got their secrets. I got secrets of my own y'know! Rachel Green : You don't have any secrets! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. Rachel Green : So umm, how-how are we gonna mess with them? Joey Tribbiani : Ugh. Phoebe Buffay : Well, you could use your position y'know as the roommate. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : And then. I would use y'know the strongest tool at my disposal. My sexuality. Chandler Bing : Hello children! #ALL# : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie. Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you! Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah the material feels so soft-hello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out? Chandler Bing : Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. Are you okay? Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you really wanna know, I'm-Oh! I can't tell you this. Chandler Bing : Phoebe, it's me. You can tell me anything. Phoebe Buffay : Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too. And the one person I want to the most. Chandler Bing : What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don't even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffee-Oh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will. Monica Geller : You are so cute! How did you get to be so cute? Chandler Bing : Well, my Grandfather was Swedish and my Grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny. Monica Geller : Okay, now you're even cuter!! Chandler Bing : Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : The weirdest thing happened at the coffee house, I think, I think Phoebe was hitting on me. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Chandler Bing : I'm telling you I think Phoebe thinks I'm foxy. Monica Geller : That's not possible! Chandler Bing : Ow! Monica Geller : I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way. Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know I-I can't hear that enough. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I think that you just misunderstood her. Chandler Bing : No, I didn't misunderstand, okay? She was all over me! She touched my bicep for crying out loud! Monica Geller : This bicep? Chandler Bing : Well it's not flexed right now! Rachel Green : Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us? Monica Geller : Uhh, y'know actually I was gonna do some laundry. Rachel Green : Oh. Monica Geller : Hey Chandler, wanna do it with me? Chandler Bing : Sure, I'll do it with ya. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay great, hold on a sec! Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks! Monica Geller : I mean I-I don't I think I have enough quarters. Phoebe Buffay : I have quarters! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet? Ross Geller : Well, I called over there and it turns out Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself and he's already had like a hundred applicants. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to Monica Geller : Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it? Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : That new mountain bike? Ross Geller : No. Monica Geller : Well what did you send? Ross Geller : A basket of mini-muffins. Phoebe Buffay : But there's a whole table of mini-muffin baskets. Which one did you send? Ross Geller : The small one. Rachel Green : What?! You-you actually thought that basket was gonna get you the apartment? Ross Geller : Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day. Chandler Bing : Your work makes me sad. Ross Geller : Oh man! I want that place so much!! I was so sure that was gonna work! There's twelve bucks I'll never see again! Rachel Green : All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie. Monica Geller : Bye! #ALL# : Bye! Phoebe Buffay : Bye Chandler! I miss you already. Chandler Bing : Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!! Monica Geller : Actually, I did! Chandler Bing : Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me? Monica Geller : Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us! Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Monica Geller : Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it! Chandler Bing : Okay but what about y'know my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps-She knows! Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Phoebe knows about us! Joey Tribbiani : Well I didn't tell them! Monica Geller : Them?! Who's them? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey. Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell! Chandler Bing : Oh man! Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing! Monica Geller : Unless... Joey Tribbiani : No! Not unless! Look this must end now! Monica Geller : Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So... Chandler Bing : Ahh yes, the messers become the messies! Ross Geller : Noooo. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, why don't you just find another apartment? Ross Geller : Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one! Rachel Green : Y'know what you should do? Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear. Joey Tribbiani : I'm listening. Rachel Green : See? Ross Geller : That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline. Phoebe Buffay : He broke that. Ross Geller : Well, he had gravity boots. Rachel Green : Yeah, he broke those too. Joey Tribbiani : So he likes to break stuff. Ross Geller : Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. Hey, didn't he used to have a cat? Phoebe Buffay : I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, poor cat, never saw that big butt coming. Ross Geller : Right. Rachel Green : Hello! Oh yeah! Hey! Hold on a second she's right here! It's Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Oh? Hello you. Chandler Bing : Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. Phoebe Buffay : Eh? Chandler Bing : Well you know that thing you said before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more. Phoebe Buffay : I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more! Rachel Green : Are you kidding?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel Green : I can not believe he would do that to Mon-Whoa! Joey, do they know that we know? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : They know you know. Rachel Green : Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two! Phoebe Buffay : God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! Joey, you can't say anything! Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't even if I wanted too. Ross Geller : Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce but-I'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it. Phoebe Buffay : All right. All right! If he wants a date? He's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in. Rachel Green : All right. Be sexy. Phoebe Buffay : Please. Phoebe Buffay : So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight. Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Oh absolutely. Shall we say, around seven? Chandler Bing : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend! Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Oh my God! That is our friend! It's Naked Ross! #ALL# : Yeah, it is! Naked Ross!! Rachel Green : Show time! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, Rachel, get me perfume! Rachel Green : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? Monica Geller : All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out! Chandler Bing : Okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with her? Monica Geller : Relax, she-she's gonna give in way before you do! Chandler Bing : How do you know?! Monica Geller : Because you're on my team! And my team always wins! Chandler Bing : At this?! Monica Geller : Just go get some! Go! Rachel Green : Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay? Whoa, wait! Phoebe Buffay : Good idea! Rachel Green : Yeah, oh wait! Phoebe Buffay : Oh now, don't give away the farm! Chandler Bing : Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Come on in. Phoebe Buffay : I was going too. Umm, I brought some wine. Would you like some? Chandler Bing : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : So, here we are. Nervous? Chandler Bing : Me? No. You? Phoebe Buffay : No, I want this to happen. Chandler Bing : So do I. Chandler Bing : I'm gonna put on some music. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. Chandler Bing : You look good. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Y'know, that when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that sweater vest right off! Chandler Bing : Well, why don't we move this into the bedroom? Phoebe Buffay : Really? Chandler Bing : Oh, do you not want to? Phoebe Buffay : No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me. Chandler Bing : Well that would be nice. I'll go get the lotion. Chandler Bing : Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her! Monica Geller : She's bluffing! Chandler Bing : Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! Phoebe Buffay : He's not backing down. He went to get lotion. Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair! Rachel Green : Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Rachel Green : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : I like that! Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! Phoebe Buffay : Joey! Wow, you didn't rip off any buttons. Joey Tribbiani : It's not my first time. Monica Geller : You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks! Chandler Bing : Okay, give me a second! Did you clean up in here? Monica Geller : Of course. Chandler Bing : Oh, you're-you're going? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, not without you, lover. So, this is my bra. Chandler Bing : It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very were gonna be having all the sex. Phoebe Buffay : You should be. I'm very bendy. I'm gonna kiss you now. Chandler Bing : Not if I kiss you first. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh. Chandler Bing : Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss. Phoebe Buffay : Here it comes. Our first kiss. Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya! Phoebe Buffay : And why not?! Chandler Bing : Because I'm in love with Monica!! Phoebe Buffay : You're-you're what?! Chandler Bing : Love her! That's right, I...LOVE...HER!!! I love her!! I love you, Monica. Monica Geller : I love you too Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : I just-I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! Chandler Bing : And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. And might I say your breasts are still showing. Phoebe Buffay : God! Joey Tribbiani : All right! So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows! Monica Geller : Well actually, Ross doesn't. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet. Ross Geller : A new place for a new Ross. I'm gonna have you and all the guys from work over once it's y'know, furnished. Dr. Ledbetter : I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet. Ross Geller : Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me. Dr. Ledbetter : I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum? Ross Geller : Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. I-What? No! Wh... What are you doing?!! GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ross Geller : Chandler!!! Chandler!!! Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here! Chandler Bing : Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! Monica Geller : What are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm going on the lamb. Monica Geller : Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. Hold on! Hey Ross. What's up bro? Ross Geller : What the hell are doing?!! Rachel Green : Hey, what's-what's going on?! Chandler Bing : Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! He's right there! Ross Geller : I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this! Chandler Bing : Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her. Monica Geller : I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too. Ross Geller : My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news! Rachel Green : Awww, no, it's okay, we've actually known for a while. Ross Geller : What? What? What?! You guys knew? You all knew and you didn't tell me?!! Rachel Green : Well, Ross, we were worried about you. We didn't know how you were going to react. Ross Geller : You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister. Ross Geller : Hey, you know what I just realized? If you guys ever have kids... Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa! We're having kids?! Joey Tribbiani : I call Godfather! Ross Geller : You can't just call Godfather. Don't you think her brother should be Godfather? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, if you cared enough to call it first. Monica Geller : Guys, you're a few steps ahead of us. Chandler Bing : Yeah, big zero gravity moon steps. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, I just thought of the greatest wedding gift to get you. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I'll go in on that with you! I couldn't think of anything. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey Katie! Everyone, this is Katie. Katie : Hi! #ALL# : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : So, are you ready to go? Katie : Yeah, I just gotta run to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sure, right back there. Katie : Hey, where are we going to lunch? Joey Tribbiani : I was thinking Chinese food. Katie : Ohh, I love Chinese! How did you know I love Chinese?! Rachel Green : She is so cute! You could fit her right in your little pocket! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. I mean I like her a lot, and she's really nice, but... Monica Geller : But what? Joey Tribbiani : She keeps punching me. Monica Geller : In that cute, little, sweet way she just did? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Okay? She-she-she's hurting me. Monica Geller : I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool? Chandler Bing : Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up. Rachel Green : Aww, Joey, come here. Look honey, I know this must be really, really difficult for you and I--Oh, I'm sorry. Am I hurting you? Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! I brought you some house warming gifts. Ross Geller : Aww. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Salt, so your life always has flavor. Ross Geller : Huh. Phoebe Buffay : Bread, so you never go hungry. Ross Geller : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : And a scented candle for the bathroom, because well, y'know. Ross Geller : Thanks. Thanks. And thanks again. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Guy : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Guy : Welcome to the building. I'm uh, Steve Sarah; I'm president of the tenants committee. Ross Geller : Oh hi! Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe. Steve Cera : Oh hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Mr. President. Steve Cera : I came to talk to you about Howard. Ross Geller : Howard? Steve Cera : Yeah, he's the handy man. He's gonna be retiring next week and everyone who lives here is kicking in a 100 bucks as a thank you for all the hard work type of thing. Ross Geller : Oh that's nice. Steve Cera : Yeah. So, do you want to give a check? Or... Ross Geller : Oh. Uhh... Steve Cera : Oh look, you don't have to give it too me right now! You can slip it under my door. Ross Geller : No-no, it's not that, it's just... I-I just moved in. Steve Cera : Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years. Ross Geller : Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes. Steve Cera : Oh, okay, I get it. Ross Geller : No wait, look. Look! I'm sorry, it's just I've never even met Howard. I-I mean I don't know Howard. Steve Cera : Howard's the handy man! Ross Geller : Yes but too me he's just, man. Steve Cera : Okay, fine, whatever. Welcome to the building. Ross Geller : Ugh, can you believe that guy! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I really like his glasses. Ross Geller : ...so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles. Chandler Bing : Sounds like a fun party. Rachel Green : Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that. Ross Geller : It doesn't matter! It's my principles! We're talking about my principles! Rachel Green : Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you. Ross Geller : Oh, they'll like me. Once they come to my awesome PAR-TAY! Okay, I gotta run. I gotta go get some nametags. Rachel Green : And that crazy party animal will be your brother-in-law. Chandler Bing : Very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you putting any ideas in her head. Rachel Green : Umm, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head. Chandler Bing : Wh-wh-why?! Rachel Green : Well, because she loves you and because you love her. Chandler Bing : Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean?! Rachel Green : Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica. Chandler Bing : I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! I'm right. I'm right. Am I right? Rachel Green : No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different. Chandler Bing : Okay. It's not different at all, is it? Rachel Green : Not unless different means the same. Katie : You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, breadstick fangs are always funny. Katie : No, you make them funny. You're the funny one! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat. Katie : Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! Monica Geller : Isn't this great? Chandler Bing : Hmm. Monica Geller : Couldn't you just stay like this forever? Chandler! Couldn't you just stay here forever? Chandler Bing : Yeah, here, somewhere else, y'know where-where ever. Monica Geller : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm cool. Casual. Monica Geller : What-what are you doing? Chandler Bing : I'm just hanging out. Y'know, having fun. Y'know with the girl that I'm seeing casually. Monica Geller : Man, I knew it! I knew you were going to do this!! Chandler Bing : What?! Monica Geller : Get all freaked out because everybody was talking and just joking around about marriage and stuff. Chandler Bing : Well, you do want all that stuff, right? Monica Geller : Oh and you know what I want! Chandler Bing : Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever! Monica Geller : I do not have baby fever! Chandler Bing : Oh please, you are obsessed with babies and-and marriage and everything that's related to babies and-and marriage! I've got an idea, why don't we turn down the heat on this pressure cooker?! Monica Geller : Have you lost your mind? Chandler, this isn't about me! This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap! Chandler Bing : Nah-uh! I know you! Okay? I know the thoughts that you have in the head--in your head! Monica Geller : You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! Chandler Bing : Well, I did not know that. Chandler Bing : It's gonna be okay, right? I mean she's not gonna leave me? This is, this is fixable. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, yeah, sure. Absolutely. Chandler Bing : By me? Ross Geller : Oh, no! Joey Tribbiani : No-no. Ross Geller : Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, big! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh, shht! The Misses. Monica Geller : Gunther, can I get a coffee to go? Chandler Bing : Monica. Monica Geller : I'm still not done not wanting to talk to you. Chandler Bing : Just tell me what I need to do to make things right. Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again. Monica Geller : Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. Party Guests : Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!! Ross Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi Ross! Ross Geller : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out it's a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! Guest #1 : See ya Phoebe! Oh and hey, thanks for chipping in! Ross Geller : You chipped in?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, uh-huh, a 100 dollars. Ross Geller : Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but they didn't ask me! Y'know? This way I'm just y'know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be. Ross Geller : Yeah, but you're making me look bad! Phoebe Buffay : No I'm not. No! If anything I'm making you look better! They'll see you talking to me and that's--I'm a hit! Steve Cera : Oh hey, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Steve Cera : Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay, my bad. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Wow! You look, you look...big. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters? Rachel Green : Uhhh, yeah. But it's not obvious why. Joey Tribbiani : Well look, I'm breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love? Katie : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hiya! Rachel Green : Hey! Hey, cute jacket! Katie : Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! Rachel Green : Oh! Ow! Katie : Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, are too much! Rachel Green : Whoa! Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. Katie : Ohh, Joey has the nicest friends! Rachel Green : Ohh, and the nicest girlfriend! Katie : You're so sweet! Rachel Green : Ohh, you're so sweet! Katie : Oww!!!! Joey, she just kicked me. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Katie : Well? Aren't you gonna do something? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh.... Katie : You'd better do something, or I'm gonna walk out that door right now! Well? Are you gonna? Joey Tribbiani : Nah. Ross Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : That's what I'm saying. Ross Geller : Phoebe? Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh. Ross Geller : Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go? Phoebe Buffay : No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something to eat! Okay? Ross Geller : So uh, what did you tell them about me? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy. Ross Geller : Ohh. Phoebe Buffay : But somehow you came off as the bad guy. Ross Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there. Ross Geller : Ohh, this cake is really good! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, see? Things are looking up already! Guest #2 : Oh my God! Someone cut Howard's cake! Who would do a think like that? Steve Cera : 3-B! #ALL# : Oh yeah, aww! Steve Cera : Okay, you got your free food! You ruined everyone's fun! Don't you think it's time you went home?! Guest #3 : Yeah, leave! #ALL# : Yeah, get out! Now! Steve Cera : Go back to 3-B, 3-B! Phoebe Buffay : All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys Gold-digger, cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean. Phoebe Buffay : Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero. Ross Geller : Oh wow, yeah! See, I did not get that. Chandler Bing : Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here? Monica Geller : I'm Monica. Chandler Bing : I need to talk to you, it's urgent! Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, well I guess there's only one-one way to do this. Monica Geller : Wait what-wh-wh-what are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Monica... Monica Geller : No-no, don't-don't-don't do it! Chandler Bing : Will you marry me? Ross Geller : Oh-no. No. No. Joey Tribbiani : What a bad idea! Rachel Green : Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! Monica Geller : Chandler, why are you doing this? Chandler Bing : I don't know. But I know I'm not afraid to do this. Monica Geller : Chandler. Chandler Bing : I'm doing this because I'm sorry? Monica Geller : Do you umm, you really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry? Chandler Bing : No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. Will you be my wife? Monica Geller : Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm kinda wishing everyone wasn't here right now. Monica Geller : Honey! Do you know that none of that stuff came from me?! I mean I never said I wanted to have babies and get married right now! Chandler Bing : Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. Monica Geller : Who? Two divorces and Joey?! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : She's right y'know. Ross Geller : Yeah, but still, cheap shot! Monica Geller : Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that. Chandler Bing : I didn't think I was! Monica Geller : Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes? Chandler Bing : Well I would've been happy because I would've be able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love. Or, you would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in that door. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife? Ross Geller : No, I will not! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it. Ross Geller : You're right, I'm sorry. Will you marry me? Phoebe Buffay : Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week. Rachel Green : Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler? Chandler Bing : Okay, how long is this going to go on. Monica Geller : Well I think the length of teasing is directly related to how insane you were so, a long time. Ross Geller : This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? Chandler Bing : That's not funny. Joey Tribbiani : That's not funny at all! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What are you guys doing up? Chandler Bing : Oh, we wanted to finish the crossword before we went to bed. Hey, do you know a six-letter word for red? Joey Tribbiani : Dark red. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. Hey, how about maroon? Monica Geller : Yes, you are so smart! Joey Tribbiani : Aww, you guys are so cute! Monica Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'll see you in the morning. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Y'know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you honey! Joey Tribbiani : Aww, me too. Now let's finish this and go to bed. Monica Geller : Okay! There's only one left, three letter word, not dog but... Joey Tribbiani : Cat. Monica Geller : Yes! You are so smart! I love you. Joey Tribbiani : I love you too. Rachel Green : Uhh, we still need a tip. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Hold on. I got it. Nickel! How much more do we need? Rachel Green : A couple of bucks. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, dime! You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! Oh my God, this is a police badge! Monica Geller : Wow! Chandler Bing : Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that. Rachel Green : Phoebe, I bet somebody's missing that badge. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Joey! Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. That uh, that my sweatshirt? Monica Geller : Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, it's just that uh, y'know if-if you're gonna be wearing someone's sweatshirt shouldn't it be your boyfriends--and I'm not him. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you. Joey Tribbiani : No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica! Monica Geller : Are you saying I smell bad? Joey Tribbiani : No! No, you smell like a meadow. I'm sorry. Monica Geller : What's with him? Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter. Rachel Green : Ugh! Ross Geller : Yeah, I still don't know. I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, "Come here to me!" Rachel Green : What?! You say that to kids?!! Ross Geller : No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies. Rachel Green : Ross, honey, it's a nice couch. It's not a magic couch. The Salesman : You picked a great couch. Ross Geller : Yeah? The Salesman : Yeah. Could you just sign right here please? Ross Geller : Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch! Rachel Green : Wait! No, that's ridiculous. Come on, he lives three blocks away! Ross Geller : Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! All right Rach, let's go! Rachel Green : Yeah! Are you kiddin'? Ross Geller : Oh, come on it's only three blocks! And-and, it's not very heavy, try it! Come on! Come on! Rachel Green : Oh. Oh! I can do it! Ross Geller : Yeah! The Salesman : You two are really gonna enjoy that couch. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. The Salesman : Ohh, okay. Something didn't quite add up there. Rachel Green : Ross! Ross Geller : What's that supposed to mean? Rachel Green : Ross! The Salesman : Well you, her, I mean, she's very...y'know. And you're like...y'know. Ross Geller : Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out. The Salesman : Really? You two? Ross Geller : Yeah! Rach? Rachel Green : Come on, I don't really want to be doing this right now. I am carrying a very heavy couch. Ross Geller : Then tell him quickly. Rachel Green : Fine! We went out. Ross Geller : Not only did we go out, we did it 298 times! Rachel Green : Ross!! Oh my--ugh!! You kept count?! You are such a loser! Ross Geller : A loser you did it with 298 times! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Oh! Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am? The Smoking Woman : Yes? Phoebe Buffay : You can't put your cigarette out on a tree! The Smoking Woman : Yeah I can, it worked real well. Phoebe Buffay : No but you shouldn't! Don't ever do that again. The Smoking Woman : I won't! Until I have my next cigarette. Phoebe Buffay : Hold it! N.Y.P.D! Freeze punk! The Smoking Woman : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's right you are so busted. Book 'em. The Smoking Woman : Who are you talking too? Phoebe Buffay : Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree. The Smoking Woman : I am not going to apologize to a tree! Phoebe Buffay : You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. Backup! Backup!! The Smoking Woman : I-I'm sorry! Sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, cancel backup! Cancel backup! Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here? Ross Geller : Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go. Ross Geller : Okay, go left. Left! Left! Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? There is no more left, left! Ross Geller : Oh okay, lift it straight up over your head! Straight up over your head! You can do it! You can do it! Okay. You got it? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Good-good-good. Rachel Green : Oh-oh! Ross Geller : Yeah, you got it right? You got it right? You got it? Rachel Green : Any chance you think the couch looks good there? Phoebe Buffay : ...so this guy was all And I'm all, Buffay, Homicide. It was just so cool! Monica Geller : Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back! Phoebe Buffay : I know but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds. Chandler Bing : Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested. Phoebe Buffay : You could get arrested, right now! All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Oh. Chandler Bing : Hi, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I didn't know you guys were going to be here. Monica Geller : Hey Joey, sweetie, taste this. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Why?! Monica Geller : What is going on with you? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing! Chandler Bing : Oh, come on! You've been acting strange all day! Joey Tribbiani : All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, but I don't want to talk about it. Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? I kinda have a dream! I don't want to talk about it. Joey Tribbiani : Well, it involved Monica. Chandler Bing : You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. Anyway we're talking about your dream. I love you. Your dream? Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it or anything. I haven't dreamt about her like that since I found out about you two--ish. Monica Geller : What was the dream about? Joey Tribbiani : Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out. Monica Geller : Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesn't mean that-that you're in love with me! Joey Tribbiani : It-it doesn't? Monica Geller : No! Chandler Bing : No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud. Joey Tribbiani : That kinda sounds like your dream dude. Monica Geller : Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too. Joey Tribbiani : In the dream I did enjoy the closeness. Monica Geller : Um-hmm. Chandler Bing : Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her? Joey Tribbiani : Not really. Chandler Bing : Well there you have it! Monica Geller : Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend! Joey Tribbiani : No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have? Chandler Bing : Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it? Joey Tribbiani : Friends first? That's interesting. Monica Geller : You become friends after? Joey Tribbiani : No, never done that either. Rachel Green : Hey, umm, do you guys have that tape measure? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it's actually in my bedroom. Monica Geller : That's right. Rachel Green : What's up Joey? Joey Tribbiani : How you doin'? Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, is this your car? Guy : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Well I don't think it's very nice of you to park here, y'know you're blocking the entrance. Guy : Don't worry about it. It's not a problem. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you 'cause I'm a cop. Guy : So am I! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, no. Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. Cop : Hey, wait a second! So wait, what precinct are you with? Phoebe Buffay : I-I'm with the umm, the 57th. Cop : Oh, I know a guy in homicide up there. Phoebe Buffay : I'm in vice. Yeah, in fact I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore. Cop : Who-who else is in vice up there? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, do you know, umm Sipowicz? Cop : Sipowicz? No, I don't think so. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, big guy, kinda bald. Cop : No, I don't know him. Phoebe Buffay : Don't try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died. Cop : Wow umm, tell Sipowicz I'm real sorry for his loss. Phoebe Buffay : I-I sure will, take care. Cop : Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. And where did you find my badge? Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Rachel Green : Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, for you. Rachel Green : Thanks! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight. Rachel Green : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that's not such a bad situation they got going over there. I'm thinking of getting me one of those. Rachel Green : What's up Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great... Rachel Green : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : ...is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So... Rachel Green : What are you saying? Joey Tribbiani : I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch. Rachel Green : Y'know honey, umm, as uh, as flattered as I am that uh, you saw me first, uhh, I just, I-I don't think we should be cranking anything up. Joey Tribbiani : I'll treat you real nice. Rachel Green : Yeah, well, y'know umm... No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends! Joey Tribbiani : Won't-won't that take longer? Rachel Green : Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but once you find it, ohh it's so worth the wait. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I understand. I understand. Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first! Ross Geller : Come here to me. No-no, you come here to me. Rachel Green : Hey Ross! I brought reinforcements. Ross Geller : Oh great! What, you brought Joey? Rachel Green : Well, I brought the next best thing. Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica! Chandler Bing : Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so... Ross Geller : Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. Okay Rach, that's you. That's the couch. Rachel Green : Whoa-oh, what's-what's that? Ross Geller : Oh, that's me. Rachel Green : Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself. Ross Geller : No! That's-that's my arm! Chandler Bing : Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch. Ross Geller : Y'know what? Just-just follow my lead. Rachel Green : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : Come on, Chandler. Ross Geller : All right. Okay, here we go! Ross Geller : All right, ready? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Turn. Chandler Bing : Okay. Ross Geller : Turn! Turn! Chandler Bing : Okay, I don't think we can turn anymore! Rachel Green : Ross, I don't, I just don't think it's going to fit. Ross Geller : Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et! Chandler Bing : Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!! Ross Geller : Okay, I don't think it's going to pivot anymore. Chandler Bing : You think?! Ross Geller : All right, let's uh, let's bring it back down and-and try again. Chandler Bing : Okay, yeah, I think it's really stuck now. Ross Geller : I can't believe that didn't work! Rachel Green : I know, me neither! I mean, you had a sketch! Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know, what did you mean when you said pivot? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! How's it going? Did you make any new friends? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. Chandler Bing : Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, well, she's...really good in bed. Monica Geller : Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first! Joey Tribbiani : Well look, hey, it's all your fault! Rachel Green : What?! Why?! Joey Tribbiani : Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! And her roommate! Monica Geller : What about the closeness? Joey Tribbiani : Closeness-shmoshness! There was three of us for crying out loud! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Hey, who wants pizza?! Chandler Bing : Ooh, I do! I do! I do! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor? Monica Geller : Who is it? Voice : N.Y.P.D!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, just a minute officer!! Cop : I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, God, it's him! It's that cop! God, I can't believe it! He found me! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me. Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it! Cop : Yeah, but I kinda don't have a choice, it's my job. I mean, you understand right? Phoebe Buffay : Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool! Cop : I don't like looking foolish. Y'know what? Maybe uh, I don't arrest you today. Maybe I came by and you weren't here. Phoebe Buffay : I would love it if I weren't here! Cop : Okay, so since umm, you're not going to jail tonight I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me? Phoebe Buffay : Me?! Cop : Yeah. Ever since you flashed my badge at me, I kinda can't stop thinking about you. You're the prettiest, fake undercover whore I've ever seen. Chandler Bing : Nice! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I didn't see that coming! You're-you're asking me out! Cop : Yeah. I mean, I coulda done it better, but these people keep staring at me. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer... Cop : Gary. Phoebe Buffay : Gary. Gary : Okay, so it's a date. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! So--ooh, I gotta ask you though. How did you know where to find me? Gary : Well you're fingerprints were all over my badge so I just ran it through the computer and this was listed as your last known address so I just checked it out. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, impressive. Gary : Not as impressive as you. I gotta tell you, I looked at your record and you've done some pretty weird stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we'll talk at dinner. Gary : Okay. So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up? Phoebe Buffay : All right, I can't wait! Gary : Okay. And don't worry, I'm not just gonna take you out for donuts. Chandler Bing : He has a gun! Ross Geller : I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it. The Saleswoman : You wanna return this couch? It's cut in half! Ross Geller : That's what I'm telling you. The Saleswoman : Did you cut this couch in half? Ross Geller : This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half! The Saleswoman : You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?! Ross Geller : Look, I am a reasonable man. I will accept store credit. The Saleswoman : I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars. Ross Geller : I take it. Rachel Green : Good, you guys are all here! Ross Geller : Hey! What's up? Rachel Green : Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow! #ALL# : Congratulations! Ohh, that's great! Rachel Green : I know! Joey Tribbiani : Boy, that guy's underwear sucks! Rachel Green : Wh-what?! Joey Tribbiani : I got this pair marked excess, I gotta tell ya, there was no room for excess anything in there. Rachel Green : Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Well, if you nail the interview, you'll get it! Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : You wanna work on your interview skills? Rachel Green : O-okay! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! All right, let's start with the handshake. Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Very good handshake, good wrist action. Monica Geller : Let me try. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! Monica Geller : Did I squeeze it too hard? Phoebe Buffay : Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, same as the day before. Monica Geller : Is he doing his shark attack bit yet? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Op, wait! There he goes. Joey Tribbiani : Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me. Monica Geller : Get in there man! Flirt back, mix it up! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. Okay, here goes. How you a-doin'? It worked! She's waving me over. Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor... Monica Geller : Wow! She is pretty, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Tell me about it, huh? Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! Ewwuck! Ross Geller : Hey Joey! Great stuff huh? Joey Tribbiani : This is your place? Ross Geller : Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. Joey Tribbiani : But I counted, you're not supposed to live here! Oh man! Joey Tribbiani : Ugh!! Monica Geller : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit. Monica Geller : No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV. Gary's Radio : We've lost visual contact with the suspect. Gary : Okay, now I've really have to go! Phoebe Buffay : But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk. Gary : I know, but it's my job, sweethart! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then maybe I can come too! Gary's Radio : Suspect has just emerged naked from the sewer. Phoebe Buffay : All right, you go. Gary : Bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : 'Kay, bye! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh I just miss him so much! Monica Geller : Wow! For just a week you guys are really close, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other. Monica Geller : I know it is the best. Phoebe Buffay : So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler? Monica Geller : What? It's still going on. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, seriously! When did it end? Monica Geller : I-I am serious, I mean, we're, we're all over each other all the time. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you know where you are better than I do. I was just curious. Monica Geller : What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why don't you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!! Phoebe Buffay : God, I woke the beast. Sorry. I was wrong obviously, I just-I misspoke. It's okay. Monica Geller : Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire! Chandler Bing : Hey Monica, here's your broom back. Monica Geller : You are so cute. Chandler Bing : Oh hey, how'd the interview go? Rachel Green : Ugh, horrible! I did the stupidest, most embarrassing thing! Joey Tribbiani : Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair? Rachel Green : No! Chandler Bing : So what happened? Rachel Green : Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh! Joey Tribbiani : What happened? Rachel Green : All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me... Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh... Joey Tribbiani : You kissed him?! Rachel Green : Well, I didn't know what else to do! Chandler Bing : Well you coulda tried, not kissing him. Rachel Green : Thanks Chandler. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview! Rachel Green : I can't believe it! I got a second interview! Monica Geller : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : I bet that kiss isn't looking like such a big mistake now, is it? Rachel Green : What-what, wait a minute, you don't think that's why he wants me back? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! No? Monica Geller : A kiss? What are you talking about? Rachel Green : I accidentally kissed him in the interview, and now he wants me back y'know of course, 'cause "Let's bring the girl back who kisses everybody!" Chandler Bing : Come on, Rach. Rachel Green : Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him? Monica Geller : He probably wants you back because you're right for the job. Rachel Green : Maybe. I-I don't know-Oh God, how could I be so stupid?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. She's back! Hot girl's back! Rachel Green : Ohh, well I'm not totally back yet, but thank you. Joey Tribbiani : No, in Ross's building! She's back! She's back! Okay, wait there, I'll be over in a second. Got it! Chandler Bing : I gotta check out this hot girl! There she is! Joey Tribbiani : Damnit!! Did you move?! Ross Geller : Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. I'm Ross. The Old Man : Yes? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh do you happen to have a hot girl in there? The Old Man : No. I'm all alone. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Sorry about that. Oh, hey little girl. Uhh, is-is your mommy, or sister, or babysitter by any chance a hot girl? The Little Girl : Daddy!! Joey Tribbiani : Later! Oh man! Hot girl! Hot girl!! Mr. Zelner : Hi Rachel! Rachel Green : Hi! Mr. Zelner : Come on in. Mr. Zelner : It's really nice to see you again. Rachel Green : Thank you. Mr. Zelner : Oh Rachel, uhh... Rachel Green : What? Mr. Zelner : Just ah... Rachel Green : Excuse me? Mr. Zelner : Here let me... Rachel Green : Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I , hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. Rachel Green : Ugh, you will not believe what that sleaze-ball from Ralph Lauren did too me! Rachel Green : Okay-okay that-that's amazing. How did you know that? Ross Geller : You got ink on your lip. Rachel Green : Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh.... Chandler Bing : So what do you say, maybe sometime I hold your gun? Gary : I don't know man, we're really not supposed to do that. Chandler Bing : Oh, what can happen? I mean, would you... Gary : Yeah, I'm gonna say no. Monica Geller : Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight? Phoebe Buffay : Oh we can't, we already have plans. Monica Geller : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie. Monica Geller : Oh, we're not seeing a movie! Phoebe Buffay : You're not? Then why did you ask us if we wanted to go? Monica Geller : Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler? Can I see you for a second? Chandler Bing : Uh, yeah. Monica Geller : Okay. We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.} Chandler Bing : Why? Monica Geller : 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are! Chandler Bing : Ohh, so? Monica Geller : So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong! Chandler Bing : Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat. Ross Geller : Hey! The Man : Excuse me. You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl. Ross Geller : Who isn't? Ross Geller : I don't, I don't think we've meet. I-I'm Ross. The Hot Girl : I know. You're the guy who wouldn't chip in for the handyman. Ross Geller : Nevermind! The Hot Girl : No, I-I actually thought it was unfair the way everyone reacted. I mean you had just moved in. Ross Geller : I had just moved in. Thank you! Listen umm... The Hot Girl : Jen. Ross Geller : Jen, I know this may sound a little... But uh, would you maybe wanna grab a cup of coffee sometime, or... Jen : Sure! That would be nice. Ross Geller : Umm? Jen : Oh! My number is on there. Give me a call. Ross Geller : I will give you a call. Jen : I'll see you later. Ross Geller : Okay! Jen : I forgot my paper. Chandler Bing : That was amazing! Monica Geller : Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner. Chandler Bing : That was amazing. Monica Geller : We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best. Chandler Bing : No, you're the best. Monica Geller : No, you're the best. Chandler Bing : No, you're the best. Monica Geller : I am the best. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! What 'cha been doin'? Monica Geller : Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway. Monica Geller : Why? Joey Tribbiani : Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in some like of hot girl parallel universe, or something. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left! Joey Tribbiani : No. No. No. She lives on the third floor, eighth apartment from the left. Monica Geller : No, those first two windows, that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong. Joey Tribbiani : I did not know that! Thank you Monica. I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting. Ross Geller : So uhh, you ready? Jen : Sure, I'll just get my coat. Could you get that? Ross Geller : Sure. Joey... Joey Tribbiani : Dahhhhh!! No! Noooo!! Rachel Green : Ah, first, I-I would like to say thank you for agreeing to see me again. Mr. Zelner : That's quite all right, but I feel obligated to tell you that this meeting is being videotaped. Rachel Green : Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you. Mr. Zelner : Fair enough. Rachel Green : Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got courage, you got integrity, you got courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr... Mr. Zelner : Zelner. Rachel Green : Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it. Mr. Zelner : Y'know what? I may regret this but uh, I'm going to give you a shot. Rachel Green : Oh! You are? Mr. Zelner : Um-hmm. Rachel Green : Really? Oh thank you! Oh... Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug? Mr. Zelner : Yes! Rachel Green : Okay, well then how about a handshake? Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch that-I mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you so-Hey! I'll see you Monday! Phoebe Buffay : You tired Chandler? Monica Geller : You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean? Chandler Bing : Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean. Gary : So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, it's so cool. Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. That's pee-pee. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you have a, a twig in your hair. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here. Gary : Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so... Monica Geller : You didn't! Phoebe Buffay : We did! We violated Section 12 Paragraph 7 of the criminal code! Monica Geller : The park huh? A public place. Gary : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! Monica Geller : Hi Chandler. Chandler Bing : Monica! This is the Men's room! Isn't it? Monica Geller : Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you? Chandler Bing : No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous! Monica Geller : Come on, we can't let them win! Chandler Bing : Ugh, we have already proved that we are hot! Okay? So why-why are you getting so obsessed about this thing?! Monica Geller : Because Phoebe and Gary are in that-can't-keep-their-hands-off-each-other-doing-it-in-the-park phase! Chandler Bing : So? Monica Geller : I feel really sad that we're not...really there anymore. Chandler Bing : Oh wow! Is that what this all have been about? Monica Geller : Wasn't it a lot more exciting when we were y'know all over each other all the time? Chandler Bing : Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. Monica Geller : That is so sweet. I know that I was acting a little crazy but umm, I feel the same way. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship. Monica Geller : Did not. Chandler Bing : Yes you did! Admit it! You freaked out! Monica Geller : Okay, I freaked out a little. Chandler Bing : Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! And now we're back. Rachel Green : I cannot believe Ross is buying this! Monica Geller : Thank God! I can't watch him anymore! Chandler Bing : You guys ready fore the movies? Rachel Green : Yeah! Oh by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine. Ross Geller : Man! They cannot get enough! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, pick a card. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : All right now, memorize it. You got it? Chandler Bing : Oh yes. Joey Tribbiani : Is that your card? Chandler Bing : Yes. Carol Willick : Hey guys! Ross Geller : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hi there! Ben Geller : Hi!! Carol Willick : Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial! Phoebe Buffay : What are you talking about?! Ross Geller : Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! I mean, way to go Ben! Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition. Ross Geller : I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings... Joey Tribbiani : I'm always on the swings! What am I doing wrong?! Chandler Bing : That. Rachel Green : Okay, gotta go! Wish me luck! Joey Tribbiani : Luck! Chandler Bing : Hey Rach, now that you're working at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts? Rachel Green : Uh well, y'know what? I don't think if I feel comfortable stealing on my very first day... Chandler Bing : Unwilling to steal from work, interesting. Monica Geller : Besides, if anybody's gonna get free stuff, it's gonna be me. Rachel Green : Okay guys, way to wish me luck! #ALL# : Good luck! Go get 'em! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw a surprise party this weekend. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, but her birthday isn't like for another month. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah but if we throw her a party on her birthday, then it's not a surprise. Monica Geller : I think it's a great idea. Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends. Joey Tribbiani : Ross!! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!! Ross Geller : Okay!! Joey Tribbiani : Done. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, great so do you want to do it together? Monica Geller : I would love to do it together! Joey Tribbiani : They're gonna do it together. Chandler Bing : Dude! That's my girlfriend! Joey Tribbiani : What, so I gotta shut it down now? Ross Geller : All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition. Monica Geller : It's gonna be weird to watch some actor pretending to be Ben's dad. Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Weirder than watching his two moms make out? Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa dad? There's a dad in the commercial? Ross Geller : Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather. Ross Geller : You're not his godfather. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Are you kidding?! Ross Geller : Of course I am! Okay, let's go godfather. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition! Ross Geller : Really? That's great! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her... Carol Willick : Hey, that kid looks familiar. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad.... Ross Geller : Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, Joey Tribbiani : That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad? Ross Geller : Joey, you look nothing like Ben. Joey Tribbiani : I look more like him than you do! Carol Willick : Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that. Kim : So it's down to these two, Nancy I know you like this one and I think I agree. Rachel, what do you think? Rachel Green : Well umm, that one is pretty but uh, I just, I just love this fabric Sorry. Kim : Oh don't be sorry, that's part of your job here to give your opinions and then I take credit for them--I'm kidding. Nancy : She is kidding, but don't ever disagree with her again. Okay, now I'm kidding! Rachel Green : Oh, what a fun office. Kim : I don't know which one, but I do know I need a cigarette. So what do you say we take a break, we go outside, and we'll figure this out when we come back? Kim : Rachel? Do you smoke? Rachel Green : Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories......about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke. Rachel Green : ...and then they came back from smoking and they had made all of the decisions without me! Monica Geller : That doesn't seem fair. Rachel Green : I know! It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisoning habit! Chandler Bing : Yeah, it is the best. Rachel Green : I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson? Monica Geller : Rachel, you can go down there, you don't have to smoke. Just say you wanna get some fresh air. Rachel Green : Yeah, I can do that. Chandler Bing : Yeah, or you can do the easy thing and smoke. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach, you wanna get some coffee? Rachel Green : I would love to! Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I wanna go to babe. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, I change my mind! Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! Monica Geller : Yeah, me too! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look at that. Monica Geller : All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food. Phoebe Buffay : What happened to the intimate dinner party? Monica Geller : Oh, we're not doing that. Okay... Phoebe Buffay : So wow, it looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot, co-host. Monica Geller : What?! I didn't take care of everything, there's-there's plenty of things for you to do! Phoebe Buffay : Like what? Monica Geller : Cups. Phoebe Buffay : Cups? You're giving me cups? Monica Geller : And ice! Phoebe Buffay : Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice! Monica Geller : Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant... Phoebe Buffay : I got it! Mine! Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey! How'd the audition go?! Ross Geller : Not so good. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, are you doing Joey's "Audition didn't go so well. Yeah it did?" Ross Geller : Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback. Monica Geller : You got a callback too didn't you? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I did! Kim : Hey Rachel, what are you doing out here? Rachel Green : Oh well, it's kinda lonely up there, so I just thought I would come out here and get some fresh air. Kim : Nancy and I were talking about the fall collection. Rachel Green : Oh great! Kim : So anyway we really... Honey, we're just smoking all over you. Nancy : Oh, sorry! Rachel Green : Oh that's okay. Kim : No-no-no, we'll move you just stay right there. Nancy : So anyway I sent the designs over to Ralph and he's very excited about the line. Kim : Oh that's great! You are the best! Rachel Green : Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? Y'know what, actually... Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here? Nancy : I thought you didn't smoke. Rachel Green : Oh, I thought you guys meant marijuana cigarettes, y'know? Y'know what I mean, like dubbies? And I actually, I thought to myself, "Wow, those guys are crazy!" But no, I actually smoke the regular ones all, all the time. Kim : We get high. Rachel Green : Oh, me too. Kim : I'm kidding. Rachel Green : Oh, me too. Ross Geller : Oh God, this is so nerve wracking! How-how do you do this? Joey Tribbiani : Well, unfortunately, I don't get many callbacks so... Carol Willick : Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition? Joey Tribbiani : Who knows? The Casting Director : Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much. Ross Geller : Yes!! I knew it!! Bye-bye! So long! Later! Joey Tribbiani : Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad! Ross Geller : Yeah! The Casting Director : Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two or you two. Joey Tribbiani : Man, this is gonna be kinda weird. Ross Geller : Yeah, it is. Kyle : Yeah. It's gonna be weird. Ross Geller : No, we-we're gonna be like best friends, that's why it's gonna be weird. Kyle : Oh, oh, I thought we were just talking. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party? Chandler Bing : Ah sure. What's in 'em? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, cups. Chandler Bing : Oh good, because uh we got Rachel 800 gallons of water. Ross Geller : Seriously that's a lot of cups. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice. Chandler Bing : Y'know I rued the day once...didn't get a whole lot else done. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. Oh, hi Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something. Ross Geller : What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition. Ross Geller : Wow, uh, Joey that's-that's great. Thanks man. Joey Tribbiani : That's it? You're-you're gonna let me do this?! This-this is my career we're talking about here! Ross Geller : Well, you just... Joey Tribbiani : I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben! Ross Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler! Tell 'em! Chandler Bing : Well I mean, let me get the door first. Oh, hi! No one. Ross Geller : Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad. Joey Tribbiani : At least I care about his feelings! Ross Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesn't get it? Ross Geller : And why wouldn't he get it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do?! Huh?! I mean he dials phones! He-he-he eats tortilla chips! He-he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger! Ross Geller : Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid? Joey Tribbiani : You just give him a spoon baby! Ross Geller : Oh yeah? I guess we'll just see! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch! Ross Geller : You're kid's name is Raymond! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah?! So's yours! Monica Geller : How did work go? Rachel Green : Oh it was great! It was great! I went down there just like you said, y'know? And we talked business. Kim totally took my opinions. Monica Geller : You stink! Rachel Green : Thanks! Monica Geller : No, I'm-I'm serious! Rachel Green : Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success. Chandler Bing : Okay, there's something different though--Oh my God! You smoked! Rachel Green : I did not! Chandler Bing : Yes you did! You look happy and sick; you smoked! Rachel Green : All right, fine! But I had too! I had to do it for my career! Chandler Bing : I wish I had smoked for my career... Monica Geller : That's so gross! Rachel Green : No well, no it's not that bad, y'know? I mean yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy and these fingers sort of smell, I actually feel like I can throw up. Chandler Bing : Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good! Monica Geller : Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. Chandler Bing : I think you smell great! Kim : So, we're decided, no on plaid, yes on pink? Nancy : Absolutely! Rachel Green : I am so on board! Kim : Rachel didn't you just light that? Rachel Green : Yeah, I did, but y'know what? I am really, really trying to cut back, y'know? Good luck, Rach. Nancy : I've actually been thinking about quitting lately. Kim : Oh sure, every Sunday night I'm telling myself I'm quitting but every Monday morning it's like Nancy : Tell me about it! Rachel Green : Well then let's just quit! We'll just quit! Let's all quit! Kim : It does sound appealing. Nancy : Oh, I never could do it. Rachel Green : Oh but you could. You can. Absolutely! We can help each other out! We can get--what are those--those patches! We could be like the Patch Sisters! Kim : Oh y'know, we really should quit. Okay, let's quit! Rachel Green : Yes! Great! Give me those cigs! Give it! Give it! Kim : My late husband gave me that lighter. I'm not kidding. Rachel Green : Okay then! Joey Tribbiani : Hmmm, soup! Hmm soup! Hmm, soup! Carol Willick : Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, no problem. Carol Willick : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Hi Ben! So you wanna be an actor huh? I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability. One day you're Dr. Drake Remoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle. Ross Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross Geller : Ben! I mean, Ben! Ben! The Casting Director : Okay, Raymond, Joey you're up. Joey Tribbiani : Hi! The Casting Director : Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh. The Casting Director : Is there a problem? Joey Tribbiani : Well this is noodle soup and uh, I've been working with tomato. But that's okay, no problem. No problem. Hmm, noodle soup. The Casting Director : Y'know, that's-that's fine, but the line is, "Hmm, soup." Joey Tribbiani : Oh, what did I say? The Casting Director : Hmm, noodle soup. Joey Tribbiani : How's that different? Oh! Yeah! The Casting Director : All right, let's try one. Joey Tribbiani : Hmm, noodle soup. The Casting Director : Okay. Let's do it again. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hmm, soup. I mean, noodle soup. I mean soup! Raymond : COME ON!!!! The Casting Director : Y'know what? We need to move on. Joey Tribbiani : No! No! I-I can do it one more time! See? Look! Hmm, noodle soup. Damnit! Rachel Green : Hey! Hey-hey-hey!! Kim : Uh-oh, busted! Rachel Green : Come on you guys! What are doing?! I thought we were the patch sisters! Kim : Yeah. That didn't work out. Nancy : Rachel we tried to quit, but it was too hard! Rachel Green : Well y'know if you, if you started smoking again you could've at least told me! Come on, give me one of those! What are we talking about? Kim : No. No! You're doing great! Don't you give up! That's why we didn't tell you and we're not gonna drag you down with us. Rachel Green : Oh wait, no-no-no! Drag me down. Drag-drag me down. Kim : Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on! Rachel Green : Okay. Kim : So, okay! So you'll come with me on the Paris trip. Rachel Green : Oh man! Phoebe Buffay : Check it out! Cup hat! Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! Chandler Bing : Great job with the cups, Pheebs! Monica Geller : Why don't you just go out with her! Phoebe Buffay : And did you notice the ice? Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! Ahhh! Mystical! Chandler Bing : Awesome! Monica Geller : Chandler! Everyone--no one's eating my Tuscan finger food 'cause they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones! Chandler Bing : There are snow cones! Snow cones! Yuck! Monica Geller : Y'know...go! Go! Right there! Chandler Bing : Thank you! Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look! Look! Look! #ALL# : Surprise!! Rachel Green : What?! What?! My birthday's not for another month! Monica Geller : That's the surprise! Rachel Green : Oh my God! You guys this is so great! I mean it's so unexpected! I mean Chandler's birthday is even before mine! #ALL# : Surprise! Rachel Green : Wow! This is great! Look at all these cups! This is so weird. Phoebe Buffay : I was in charge of cups. Rachel Green : Oh, okay, not so weird. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Listen man, uh, I'm sorry the audition didn't go so well. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah right! Ross Geller : No really, I-I am! I feel bad! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." Ross Geller : Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson. Joey Tribbiani : What you do mean? Ross Geller : I think, sub-consciously... Joey Tribbiani : Wait-whoa-whoa, you lost me. Ross Geller : I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part. Joey Tribbiani : Well, you're way sounds a lot better than mine. Yeah. Yeah! It's not that I'm a bad actor... Ross Geller : No! Joey Tribbiani : No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed. Ross Geller : There you go. Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! So, did-did he get it? Ross Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : Eh, what are you gonna do? Chandler Bing : Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch. Kim : Oh, she doesn't come down here any more. You can find her up on ten. Chandler Bing : Okay, great. Kim : So we talked about the whole presentation yesterday at lunch and he wondered if one person would be enough to get a take on the trip and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" Chandler Bing : I'll catch you guys later. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion? Chandler Bing : Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, we've got reservations at Ja George. Ross Geller : Wow! How'd you get in there? Chandler Bing : Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert. Delivery Girl : Hi Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey Caitlin! Somebody got a haircut. Caitlin : Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy. Chandler Bing : Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting. Caitlin : It's uh, 27 dollars even. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay. Here you go. Caitlin : Hey, where's the chicken? Chandler Bing : Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first. Caitlin : Great. I'll see you later! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye! Ross Geller : What the hell was that?! Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?! Chandler Bing : I was not flirting. Ross Geller : It was totally flirting. "Somebody got a haircut " Chandler Bing : Okay first of all, the impression, uncanny. And second, that was not flirting, that was just casual conversation between two people. That is all. Ross Geller : Yeah, right. Chandler Bing : You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. Ross Geller : I'm good. Rachel Green : I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order! Phoebe Buffay : I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law? Rachel Green : No because first they arrest the guy and then they try him. Phoebe Buffay : Don't get me started on that. Chandler Bing : I was not flirting. Ross Geller : And on your anniversary, for shame! Rachel Green : What's going on? Ross Geller : Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl! Chandler Bing : I was not and oh God, shh! Ross Geller : Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it. Phoebe Buffay : Sounds like somebody wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl. Ross Geller : Well... Chandler Bing : Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin? Rachel Green : Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people. Ross Geller : Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place. Rachel Green : Hm-mmm. Ross Geller : And she's just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little... Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? We don't need her measurements. Phoebe Buffay : Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian! Ross Geller : This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat. Phoebe Buffay : See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother! Rachel Green : Big night! Phoebe Buffay : This is so cool! Chandler Bing : So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. I've done it again. Joey Tribbiani : She's my biggest fan. Yeah, she's the only one in the family that's believed in me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I uh weighted like 27 pounds when I was born so... Monica Geller : Hey! Happy Anniversary! Chandler Bing : Happy Anniversary, 10 months! Monica Geller : So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London... Chandler Bing : Uhh, Joey's grandmother is right there. Monica Geller : Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't? Chandler Bing : The one that doesn't. Monica Geller : That was some hot love you gave me! I'm gonna go get ready. Chandler Bing : Hey, why don't you wear those earrings I gave you? Monica Geller : That's a great idea! I was saving them for something special. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : You have got to go home! Phoebe Buffay : But I like it here! Monica Geller : You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me okay? Chandler wants me to wear them tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them. Monica Geller : Great! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Rach, hi, I need those earrings you borrowed. Rachel Green : Oh, umm, okay, yeah, I'll be, yeah I'll be right back. Joey Tribbiani : Wow Pheebs, you speak Italian? Phoebe Buffay : I guess so. Rachel Green : Here you go. Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, Rach! Where's the other one? Rachel Green : Oh what, you-you want both of them? Phoebe Buffay : Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?! Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, what am I going to tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight! Rachel Green : Tell her to wear her own earrings. Phoebe Buffay : These are her earrings. Rachel Green : Nooo! Nooooo! You lent me Monica's earrings?! I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff! Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Rachel Green : Because I lose her stuff! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later. Joey Tribbiani : Oh umm, my big scene is coming up. Big scene coming up. Chandler Bing : If you said, "Big lima bean, bubbling up." Would she understand the difference? Monica Geller : Rach? What are you doing? Rachel Green : Oh boy, I just can't watch. It's too scary! Monica Geller : It's a diaper commercial. Rachel Green : Oh yeah well, you know me, babies, responsibilities, ahhh!!! Caitlin : Pizza delivery! Ross Geller : I'll get it! I will get that! Caitlin : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Caitlin : One uh, vegetarian pizza. That's $12.15. Ross Geller : Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys. Caitlin : What?! Ross Geller : The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair. Caitlin : Oh. Thanks. Ross Geller : You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys. Caitlin : Y'know, all I'm looking for is the money. Chandler Bing : Here you go. Now stop bringing us pizzas you. Caitlin : I'm gonna try. Chandler Bing : You're welcome. Ross Geller : You couldn't let me have her, could ya?! Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there! Monica Geller : What's goin' on? Ross Geller : Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl! Chandler Bing : Thank you for that! I was not flirting. Monica Geller : It's okay. I don't care. It's uh, it's fine. Ross Geller : Really?! Chandler Bing : Really?! Monica Geller : It's no big deal, I do it all the time. Chandler Bing : So umm, you-you flirt with guys all the time? Monica Geller : Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you! Chandler Bing : Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am. Joey Tribbiani : True story! Monica Geller : Chandler, this actually bothers you? Chandler Bing : Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women? Rachel Green : Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women. Ross Geller : And thank you, for that. Rachel Green : But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing. Ross Geller : What? What-what, what are talking about? It-it worked with you. Rachel Green : Oh! Y'know what? You're right! We meet, you flirted and then bamn nine years later you had me! Ross Geller : All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! And not the one on the menu! Phoebe Buffay : I found it! Rachel Green : Ohh! Thank God! Where was it? Phoebe Buffay : On your dresser. Rachel Green : Okay that is the one we already have! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! Oh my God. Monica Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out. Chandler Bing : Well, what is it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, they cut me out of the show. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe your scene's coming up? Joey Tribbiani : Not likely. 'Cause you see that body bag right there Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : I'm in it. Phoebe Buffay : This is terrible, what are you going to do? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died. Phoebe Buffay : That's not good. Joey Tribbiani : No, smile! Not that face, smile! Everybody smile! Rachel Green : Joey, why don't you just tell her what happened? It's not your fault. Chandler Bing : If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon? Grandma Tribbiani :  Joey Tribbiani : Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! Grandma Tribbiani : No! Sam Waterston! Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, that-that's me, that's me. Grandma Tribbiani : No, it's Sam Waterston! Crimes and Misdemeanors, Capricorn One. Chandler Bing : Doesn't know, "Hello." But she knows Capricorn One. Monica Geller : Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over. Phoebe Buffay : But I already gave them back to you! Monica Geller : No you didn't. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. Where is that other earring? Rachel Green : It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box. Rachel Green : Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we have like ten minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?! Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Why are you being weird? Ross Geller : Do you like it? Phoebe Buffay : No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?" Ross Geller : Okay, I'm working on my flirting. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! I did not get that. Chandler Bing : So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order? Monica Geller : Yeah, it's good. Chandler Bing : See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area! Monica Geller : Chandler! Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me. Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women. Monica Geller : Go on, teach me something about men and women. Chandler Bing : Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!" Monica Geller : No way! Chandler Bing : It's true. Monica Geller : Well that's pathetic! Chandler Bing : Again true. Monica Geller : And this goes for all guys? Chandler Bing : All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way. Joey Tribbiani : All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her! Ross Geller : Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like ten minutes left! Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know! What am I going to do? Ooh! Monica Geller : No! You are not gonna run out and leave her here! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, all right. Ooh! Grandma Tribbiani : Joey! Chandler Bing : Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. So, you're old and small. Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Did you find it? Rachel Green : The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me. Rachel Green : Okay, calm down, here they are. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : What are we going to do?! Rachel Green : I don't know, I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : All right well, we're just gonna have to tell Monica, that's all. Rachel Green : Oh gosh, she's going to kill me. Phoebe Buffay : I suppose I could tell her it's just all my fault. Rachel Green : Ohh that'd be great! Phoebe Buffay : Mon, can I talk to you for a sec? Monica Geller : Yeah, what is it? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I lost one of your earrings. I'm sorry! I am so, so sorry! Monica Geller : Wow! All right well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it you lost it. Phoebe Buffay : I will replace it, I promise. I feel so terrible. Monica Geller : All right, sweetie that's fine. You didn't do it on purpose. Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Look at you! Come here! Feel better? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! You're the best! Rachel Green : Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. Monica Geller : That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses! Rachel Green : Your sunglasses?! Monica Geller : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, right! Caitlin : Pizza! Ross Geller : Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting. Chandler Bing : Okay, hold on. Okay. Rachel Green : Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to... Ross Geller : You'll see. Okay. Oh, what's-what's her name? #ALL# : Caitlin! Grandma Tribbiani : Caitlin! Ross Geller : Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. Caitlin : It's uh, $12.50. Ross Geller : Okay, so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens? Caitlin : No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas. Ross Geller : Gas? Wow! Intense. Chandler Bing : If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem. Ross Geller : Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has? Caitlin : Yeah. Ross Geller : They put that in. Caitlin : What?! Ross Geller : The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak. Caitlin : Well okay! Ross Geller : A lot of other gas smells... Chandler Bing : Oh the humanity. Ross Geller : Meth-methane smells... Caitlin : Y'know what umm, actually I, I really, I should go. Ross Geller : Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet! Caitlin : Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! Ross Geller : Was I talking to her about gas? Chandler Bing : More so than anything else. Phoebe Buffay : I-I-I found it interesting. Rachel Green : I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. Rachel Green : Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes. Phoebe Buffay : Ross? Ross Geller : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : What else do they add smell too? Rachel Green : Hey! Hey! Hi! Hey-hey-hey, I'm Rachel! From upstairs? The ones with all the pizza? Caitlin : Oh, is there a problem? Rachel Green : No. No. Every thing's--they're fine. Great pizza. But it's uh, actually umm my friend Ross. He uh, just gets really nervous when he's flirting. Caitlin : Oh my God! That was flirting?! Rachel Green : Yeah. Caitlin : Wow! Rachel Green : I know, I know, but uh just, I'm telling you, once, once you get past that part, that where it-it just feels like you wanna die, he's-he's really a good person. Caitlin : The guy with the gas?! Rachel Green : Yeah. I'm-I'm telling you he's really sweet and he's really funny and he's just ugh, got a good heart. And besides, I y'know, I think he really likes you. Caitlin : Really?! Rachel Green : Well y'know, we have 7 people and like 10 pizzas, what do you think? Caitlin : I just, I thought Joey was there. Rachel Green : Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought. Ross Geller : What do you mean? Rachel Green : Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. Ross Geller : And she just gave you this? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors. Rachel Green : I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute. Ross Geller : Well that I can believe. Rachel Green : Yay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Is the show still on? Chandler Bing : Almost over man. Joey Tribbiani : Look! Oh! Is that the Pope?! Chandler Bing : Why am I looking? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, here I am, here's my big scene! Joey Tribbiani : All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it! Grandma Tribbiani : Oh Joey! Joey Tribbiani : That's right! Chandler Bing : You couldn't have at least changed your shirt. Joey Tribbiani : Now, I wanna a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars. Choo! Choo! Choo! Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it... Choo!! And if I don't get it, I'm gonna shoot this duck! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Joey Tribbiani : I'm comin' out! Ross Geller : And she's supposed to buy this?! Grandma Tribbiani : Joey, bravo! Chandler Bing : Ground control to Major Tom! Commencing countdown...engines...on! Joey Tribbiani : That's uh, scenes from next week's show. Next week's! Phoebe Buffay : I am definitely gonna watch that! Monica Geller : What about these? These look the same? Phoebe Buffay : Definitely! Monica Geller : Not as each other! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, then no. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi! Chandler Bing : You ready? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world. Monica Geller : Ohh, you're about to get a little luckier. Chandler Bing : Let me see the earrings. Monica Geller : Oh, honey, the earrings... Chandler Bing : They look great! Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what? Monica Geller : My boyfriend really does have good taste! Chandler Bing : Thanks for picking out the earrings man. Ross Geller : Hm-mmm. Monica Geller : Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, good idea. Chandler Bing : Hey man, what's up? Ross Geller : Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, Ross, look! Look! Ross Geller : What? Where? Joey Tribbiani : Right over there! Right there! Look-look-look! Ross Geller : What am I looking at? Joey Tribbiani : Somebody help me out here! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Gary : Hello! Monica Geller : Hey! Gary : How are you? Phoebe Buffay : Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes. Joey Tribbiani : You got to go on a ride along?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Joey Tribbiani : I want to go on a ride along! Ross Geller : Me too! Gary : Okay! Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah! Me too! Gary : Really?! You? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Gary : Well, it's kinda dangerous. Chandler Bing : Well, I like danger. Gary : Okay, you guys free tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : Tonight? You-you didn't say it was going to be at nighttime. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could finally organize these photos! Rachel Green : Ohh, thank God! Finally! Monica Geller : Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know... And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? Rachel Green : Ohh, it's me and La Poo! Wow! I miss that dog. Monica Geller : You can also find him under umm, dog and dead. Rachel Green : Great! Thanks! Monica Geller : All right, hand me that other box of photos; that's the very last one. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Oops. Sorry! Well, good thing you number all of them, huh? Monica Geller : I hadn't! Photo 152 was a prototype. Rachel Green : Ohhhh. Honey, honey, honey, it's okay, it's okay honey. I'm gonna fix you a drink, huh? Maybe a margarita? Ross Geller : Ross has the blender! Ugh, everything's just falling apart! Rachel Green : No honey, it's okay! Listen, I'll got to Ross's and get the blender, you get all the margarita stuff ready. Monica Geller : All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some cash. Rachel Green : Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM? Monica Geller : Nah, while you're at Ross's if you see any lying around... Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : What?! I-I-I don't, I don't do that! Ross Geller : That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy. Chandler Bing : It is starting to get dark out there. Ross Geller : He told you everything! I mean you totally cracked him! Gary : Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative. Chandler Bing : Okay. But it is officially nighttime. Ross Geller : Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya? Gary : It's called the cherry. Ross Geller : It's the-Chandler!! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world! Gary : Hey Joe does it have meatballs on it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho, yeah! Gary : Does it have melted cheese and marinara sauce? Joey Tribbiani : Yep! Gary : Yeah, you can't eat that in my car. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah okay. Even though my tax dollars paid for this car. Chandler Bing : Your tax dollars? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, okay. Chandler Bing : Wow! That sandwich really does smell good. Joey Tribbiani : Did I say you could smell it?! Chandler Bing : I can't smell your sandwich? Joey Tribbiani : Half the taste is in the smell! You-you're sucking up all the tastiness! Chandler Bing : Okay, I'll give them back. Look! What is so great about that sandwich? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, imagine the best sex you've ever had. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Are you thinking about Monica? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what's that like? Rachel Green : Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! Monica Geller : Rach! It's me! Pick up! Rachel Green : Hey! What's up?! Monica Geller : I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila. Rachel Green : So all we have is ice? Monica Geller : See if he has ice. Rachel Green : Okay. Emily Waltham : Hello Ross? It's Emily. I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh! Ross Geller : So where are we going next? Gary : This witness won't return my calls so we're gonna see if we can surprise him coming home. Chandler Bing : Sur-surprise him? We're not, we're not gonna make anybody mad are we? Joey Tribbiani : Come on man! Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up? Gary : It's a witness not a perp. And no one talks like that! Ross Geller : Yeah, no one talks like that! Joey Tribbiani : Oh what? Like your Mr. Cop! Ross Geller : Hey, I'm more cop than you two! Chandler Bing : How do you figure that? Ross Geller : Hello! I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner! Chandler Bing : Y'know, when you say partner it doesn't sound cop. It, it sounds gay. Ross Geller : Umm, jealous! Gary : Hey, do you mind? We're under cover here. Ross Geller : Yeah, no problem. Gary : Ross! Ross Geller : Sorry! Sorry! Oh, there! Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home! Chandler Bing : Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what's up with that Serpico? Emily Waltham : Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye. Monica Geller : Nooo! Rachel Green : I know! Monica Geller : Well thank God you were here! I mean, we have to erase that! Rachel Green : What?! We can't do that! Monica Geller : We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you? Rachel Green : Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesn't give us the right to erase his message! Monica Geller : I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesn't that give me the right to control him-help him? Rachel Green : I don't think he's the one who needs help. Monica Geller : No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people. Rachel Green : Ugh! Monica Geller : Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him. Rachel Green : Okay, you are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset! I mean, listen! Answering Machine : Your messages have been erased. Rachel Green : Noooooooo! Chandler Bing : Okay, y'know, we-we're safe right? I mean nothing bad can go down! Gary : No. But that reminds me, sign this. Ross Geller : What is it? Gary : Oh it's nothing, it just says that you can't sue the city if you scrap your knee or y'know, get your head blown off. Chandler Bing : Oh, hurry up. I want to sign that. Gary : Okay, here he comes. What is he doing? What the hell is he doing?! Ross Geller : What? What? What? What is it? Joey Tribbiani : Is everything okay? Chandler Bing : What's going on? Gary : Okay, he sees us. Now don't move. Don't look at him. Gary : Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did? Joey Tribbiani : You okay man? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Thank Joey! Chandler Bing : Uh, HELLO!! Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Monica Geller : All right, I guess we should go. Rachel Green : No, wait. Wait. Monica Geller : Oh yeah right! Rachel Green : No, Monica! Monica! We have to fix this! Monica Geller : There's nothing we can do. You erased the message! Rachel Green : Yeah well unless we tell him. Monica Geller : Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it. Rachel Green : Oh, maybe that's Emily calling back to leave the exact same message. Ross Geller : Hey Ross! It's you! I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive! So live everyday to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? Okay. Oh, and also get stamps. Bye! Monica Geller : Wow! Play that message for Emily and this whole problem goes away! Rachel Green : Right? Gary : Hey, anybody want to meet a hero? Phoebe Buffay : John Glenn is here?! Gary : No, Joey! Ross Geller : Pheebs, we had the most incredible night! Okay, so, we're in the car... Gary : Wait! Hold on! Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Gary : Okay, go ahead. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me! Phoebe Buffay : My God, Joey! Chandler Bing : It was a car backfire! Ross Geller : Yeah, but-but he didn't know that! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I didn't know that. Ross Geller : And it could've just as easily have been a bullet. Gary : Hey Joe, you ever think about joining the force? We could use a guy like you. Chandler Bing : Who jumps at loud noises! Ross Geller : Wow! I could've died tonight. Chandler Bing : Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. Ross Geller : I do have a newfound respect for life. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Gary : So you wanna get some dinner? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Sure! Yep! Oh, y'know what? If I heard a shot right now, I'd throw my body on you. Gary : Oh yeah? Well maybe you and I should take a walk through a bad neighborhood. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Gary : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Joey Tribbiani : Bye! Joey Tribbiani : Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! How come you took off? Chandler Bing : Oh, I just went for a walk, around the living room. Whatever... Joey Tribbiani : Is something wrong? Chandler Bing : No. No I'm just tired. Y'know, from-from the walk. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : You dove in front of Ross! Ross! Joey Tribbiani : That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross! Chandler Bing : I do not hate Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture. Chandler Bing : What picture? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing! Chandler Bing : Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me! Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I...knew...you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's not street like us! Chandler Bing : When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line. Joey Tribbiani : Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich. Chandler Bing : From a bullet! Joey Tribbiani : I know it doesn't make much sense... Chandler Bing : Much sense?! Joey Tribbiani : Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it! Chandler Bing : So you risked your life, for a sandwich! Joey Tribbiani : I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is the greatest sandwich in the world! Chandler Bing : So you didn't uh, choose Ross before me. Joey Tribbiani : No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother! Chandler Bing : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, here. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : No, eh, oh-oi, easy, it's not a hot dog! Joey Tribbiani : How good is that? Chandler Bing : Oh-oi-ho, yeah! Joey Tribbiani : See? Chandler Bing : Hm-hmm. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-whoa-hey, dude, what are you doing?! Chandler Bing : I thought you were showing me how much you mean to me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. With a bite! Gee-e-e-eez! Rachel Green : Hey! Hi! Ross Geller : Rach, what uh, what are you doing here? Rachel Green : Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister! Ross Geller : Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! Rachel Green : Okay, just a little scared. What's going on Ross? Ross Geller : The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near death experience! Rachel Green : What?! What? What happened?! Ross Geller : Okay, okay, we were on the ride along with Gary, right? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : And somebody took a shot at me! Rachel Green : Really?! Ross Geller : No, a car backfired, but I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I...I survived! And I was filled with this-this great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now. Rachel Green : Because a car backfired? Ross Geller : Okay, why are you here? Rachel Green : Well, I-I-I don't know how this fits into your whole "seizing" thing but um, Emily called you today. Ross Geller : You talked to her? Rachel Green : No, she left a message. But it-it kinda got erased. There's just something wrong with your machine. Ross Geller : Well, okay, what-what did she say? Rachel Green : Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her. Ross Geller : Wow! Rachel Green : Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right? Ross Geller : Huh? Yeah! Yes, of course! Rachel Green : Okay. Thank you! Thank you! Because-I'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want me-not important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. Your decision. Ross Geller : Right. I guess, I guess I should call Emily. Rachel Green : Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that? Ross Geller : Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to mean something! Rachel Green : Ugh, Ross! That was not a near death experience! That was barely an experience! Ross Geller : You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know? Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? Maybe, this is not about seizing stuff. Maybe this is about escaping stuff. Ross Geller : Huh. Rachel Green : I mean, look-look today you escaped death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily? Ross Geller : That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her. Rachel Green : Well, there you go! Ross Geller : Yeah. Maybe today is just, close call day. Rachel Green : Close call day. Ross Geller : Hey, thanks Rach. Rachel Green : Ohh, honey no problem. Okay. Ross Geller : Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it. Rachel Green : Oh? Ross Geller : "Hey Ross, it's you!" Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that. Rachel Green : No. Ross Geller : Hey umm, was-was Monica here? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Yeah, I want my money back. Rachel Green : Yeah, uh you-you probably need that for stamps, right? Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, has Gary ever been shot at for real? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a good story. Ross Geller : I wonder how I would react under fire, y'know? And not backfire but-but heavy fire, like I was in a war or something. Monica Geller : Man, I would be great in a war! I mean, I really, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys. Chandler Bing : Before or after you were shot by your own troops? Ross Geller : I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us. Chandler Bing : Yes, if the foxhole was lined with sandwiches. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, hero sandwiches. Phoebe Buffay : Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. Not you Joey. Gary : Would you like some more coffee, baby-doll? Phoebe Buffay : I'm fine, thanks. Chandler Bing : Yeah, see, I can't pull of baby-doll can I? Monica Geller : No. I think we learned that from the sugarlips incident. I'm gonna get some tea. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : Hiya doin' pumpkin? Phoebe Buffay : Nope. Monica Geller : So it looks like it's going really well for you two, huh? Gary : I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Gary : What do you, what do you think? Monica Geller : I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her? Gary : Tonight, but don't say anything. Okay? Monica Geller : I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral... Gary : I'll see you after work sweetie. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Bye! Phoebe Buffay : So, what movie should we see? Monica Geller : Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Really?! Monica Geller : He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer! Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe this! Chandler Bing : Right, because it's fast. Because, it's so fast. It's fast! Monica Geller : Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you! Chandler Bing : Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! Phoebe Buffay : No, but it is fast. Isn't it? Monica Geller : Ohhhh! Phoebe Buffay : No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this! Chandler Bing : So, what are you gonna do? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I'll just handle it-I'll ask you to talk to him! Chandler Bing : Me?! Why me? Phoebe Buffay : Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a...man! Chandler Bing : I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be. Monica Geller : That is so sweet! Chandler Bing : Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, is uh, is Staten Island really an island? Ross Geller : Uh-huh, that's why they call it Staten Island. Joey Tribbiani : Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island. Ross Geller : Also an island. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what time is it? Ross Geller : 2:17. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour? Ross Geller : Are you serious?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it. Ross Geller : Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! Yeah, my pants are a little loose! Rachel Green : Hey, you guys... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Is Monica here? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rachel Green : All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl. Ross Geller : You bought Shawn Cassidy! Rachel Green : Noo! I wish! Okay, you ready? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Rachel Green : Okay! Check it out! Ross Geller : What-what is it?! Joey Tribbiani : What the hell is that?!! Rachel Green : It's a, it's a cat! Joey Tribbiani : That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.} Rachel Green : Yes it is! Ross Geller : Why is it inside out?! Rachel Green : Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat! Ross Geller : How much did you pay for that? Rachel Green : Well, it was a little extravagant, but I a pretty good deal. Ross Geller : Yeah? How much? Rachel Green : A thousand bucks. Ross Geller : ON A CAT??!!!! Joey Tribbiani : It's not a cat! Rachel Green : All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it! Ross Geller : Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.} Joey Tribbiani : It's not a cat! Rachel Green : Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?! Ross Geller : Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, the ball thing. Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?! Ross Geller : Uhh, yeah it would! Let's do it! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom! Joey Tribbiani : Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it! Ross Geller : I know! Don't switch hands, okay? Chandler Bing : Hey ladies! What are you in here for? Gary : Hey Chandler, what are you doing here? Chandler Bing : Gary, I'm here to report a crime. Gary : Yeah? Chandler Bing : It is a crime that you and I don't spend more time together. Gary : What's up? Chandler Bing : Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me. Gary : Sure. Okay. Chandler Bing : Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together! Gary : Yeah, I-I considered that. I just know it would make me happy. Chandler Bing : You mean scared. Gary : No, I mean happy. Chandler Bing : Scared? Happy? Gary : Chandler, what-what are you doing? Chandler Bing : I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there! Gary : I know! I can't wait! Chandler Bing : Were you're parents happy, or something? Gary : Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I just-I wanna be around her as much as I can. Chandler Bing : Wow, y'know when you say it, it doesn't sound so scary. Gary : So you know what I'm talking about, right? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica! Gary : No, it's too soon for you guys. Chandler Bing : Yeah, you're right about that. Ross Geller : ...now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?! Joey Tribbiani : Maybe this should be more of a quiet game. Monica Geller : Hey guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Monica Geller : Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. It was right here, where is it? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Monica Geller : All right, come on, I'm-I'm late for work! Ross Geller : How do you know? You don't have a watch. Monica Geller : Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't know.... Yeah, can't do it. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we haven't dropped it in... Ross Geller : 2 hours, 27 minutes. Monica Geller : Really?! Monica Geller : I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. Yes!! Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. Ross Geller : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Check it out! Almost 3 hours without droppin' it! Rachel Green : Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time. Monica Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Monica Geller : You have scratches all over you, what happened? Rachel Green : Well, it's my cat. Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I got a cat. Monica Geller : I don't want a cat! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, don't worry, it's not a cat. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!" Ross Geller : Doesn't sound as crazy as paying a thousand dollars for a cat. Monica Geller : What?! You paid a thousand dollars for a cat when you owe me 300!! Rachel Green : Well, I was gonna let you play with it. Chandler Bing : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing? Chandler Bing : Yes I did, and I think you should do it. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Chandler Bing : He's a great guy, y'know? And he loves you a lot, you are a very lucky lady. Phoebe Buffay : You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. If you ask me, I'd move in with him. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh!! God! Ooh! Get out of here, good for nothing. Gary : Hey Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hey Gar! Gary : Hi sweetie. Hi, can I talk to you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Okay. Gary : You look very pretty today. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Okay. Gary : Here's the thing. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Gary : Y'know I really want to move this relationship forward. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Gary : Because if you're not moving forward, y'know you're just moving backwards. Phoebe Buffay : No that's not true. If you're not moving forward, you're just staying still. And staying still is good. Watch this. Gary : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Gary : I want you to move in with me. Phoebe Buffay : That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other. Gary : Oh. Oh-oh-okay, I get it. Phoebe Buffay : I just-I don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for. Gary : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm just-I'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake. Gary : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Which is why my answer is yes! Gary : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! I'm so...happy. Ross Geller : Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team! Chandler Bing : Four hours? You guys have been doing this for four hours? Joey Tribbiani : That's right baby. Chandler Bing : All right, let me in. Monica Geller : No-no! Don't do it! Don't! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : He's a dropper! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, that's right! Chandler Bing : I'm not a dropper! Ross Geller : It's really a uh-uh three person game, y'know? Chandler Bing : It's throwing and catching! Ross Geller : All right. Chandler Bing : Oh! Oh! That's so hard. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa you guys, it's not a cat! Monica Geller : Oh my-Oh good God! Rachel Green : I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing! Ross Geller : Baking it didn't help, huh? Monica Geller : So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it? Rachel Green : I tried! They won't take her back. Chandler Bing : Maybe that's because she's a minion of the anti-Christ. Monica Geller : Rach, why won't they take it back? Rachel Green : Well, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats? Monica Geller : Look, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it. Rachel Green : No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! Monica Geller : Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close. Chandler Bing : Yeah, you almost overreacted to something. Gary : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Gary : We have great news! Phoebe Buffay : We're moving in together! Isn't it great! Yay! #ALL# : Congratulations! Congrats! Phoebe Buffay : I know, I'm so excited! Gary : So am I! Phoebe Buffay : Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited! Gary : Okay, I'll see you at the station later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, yeah, I'll see you later! Don't forget about the moving in! Gary : All right. Monica Geller : So you're moving in with him. What happened? Phoebe Buffay : I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps. Monica Geller : Why, do you write him a lot? Phoebe Buffay : No, I just heard when people live together, they split the cost of stamps. Don't they? #ALL# : Yeah! That's right. Yeah-yeah! Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out. Gary : Hey, honey! Okay, so did you find any apartments? Anything in Brooklyn Heights? Phoebe Buffay : No, nothing. Gary : Oh really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Gary : Nothing at all? Phoebe Buffay : No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. Gary : Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Gary : Take a seat. You okay? You feeling all right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together. Gary : So you uh, you checked the paper for listings in Brooklyn Heights, right? You-you checked the Post? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing. Can I get some water? Gary : In a minute. You-you checked today's Post? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, yeah! Today's. Gary : 'Cause uh, this is today's Post and uh, these are the listings I found. Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights! Phoebe Buffay : Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging! Gary : Let me tell you what I think might be going on. No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! I'm sorry! Gary : Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Gary : Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox. Phoebe Buffay : That's so sweet. Gary : Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I just-I want you to be happy Phoebe Buffay : Living with you would make me happy. Gary : Phoebe, you don't have to say that. Phoebe Buffay : No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you! Gary : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! Gary : Oh that's great! Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, one sec. One sec. Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, which was never! Rachel Green : Show cat! Quality show cat! Show cat! Woman No. 1 : Oh my God! What's wrong with your baby?! Rachel Green : It's not a baby! It's a cat! Woman No. 1 : Eew! It's creepy looking! Rachel Green : Oh no! No! It's actually-it's very sweet. It's very sweet. Look! Yeah, do you want it? Woman No. 1 : No, I hate cats. Rachel Green : Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on! Woman No. 2 : Wow! What an unusual cat! Rachel Green : Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it? Woman No. 2 : Maybe. I was thinking about getting a cat, I was just going to go to the shelter but... Okay, why not? Rachel Green : Oh, terrific! That'll be $2,000. Woman No. 2 : What?! Rachel Green : Okay, a thousand. Woman No. 2 : I thought you wanted to adopt your cat. Rachel Green : Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat. Woman No. 2 : Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat. Rachel Green : Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! Damnit! Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody? Ross Geller : I'm starving! Monica Geller : Come on guys! Suck it up! We're closing in on ten hours! It's gut-check time! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know who made you the boss? All right? We invented this game! Monica Geller : Please! I made this game what it is. Chandler Bing : Not fun anymore? Ross Geller : I'm still hungry! Monica Geller : All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me? Ross Geller : I am! Monica Geller : All right! Let's go! Let's go Team Monica! All right, we can work out the name later. Monica Geller : Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls! Rachel Green : It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson. Ross Geller : Oh, thank God! Joey Tribbiani : Did you get your money back? Rachel Green : Yeah, 15 hundred dollars. Monica Geller : Wow! You made a profit! Gunther : I just came for the red-velvet pillow. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, there you go. Gunther : Thanks Rachel. And-and don't forget you-you can come visit her anytime you want. Rachel Green : Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. Gunther : Hey! So what is this? Some kind of snake or something? Gary : I really like waking up with you. Phoebe Buffay : I like waking up with you too. Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. Oh, I can stay here all day. Gary : That would be great! Phoebe Buffay : We could have breakfast in bed... Gary : Wait, just a second. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh! Oh no. Monica Geller : All right! Come on Monica! Look alive! Come on, look alive! Phoebe Buffay : Oh good, you're all up. Rachel Green : Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, that's over. #ALL# : What?! Chandler Bing : Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out! Phoebe Buffay : He shot a bird! Chandler Bing : Oh that is over! #ALL# : That's terrible! I'm sorry! Rachel Green : Phoebe, are you okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, here Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Nah, I don't feel like playing. Monica Geller : It's okay. It's okay. Just pretend that it didn't happen! Okay? No one needs to know! I mean, Phoebe's not an official ballplayer! I mean, only official ballplayers can drop the ball! #ALL# : All right. Okay. I'm starving! Rachel Green : Phoebe, honey, wanna get some breakfast? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Okay! Okay, let's race! First one there wins! Ha-ha! Chandler Bing : You guys wanna eat here? #ALL# : Yeah! As long as we're here! Joey Tribbiani : Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around? Rachel Green : Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long. Ross Geller : I know. My arm is killing me. Rachel Green : No, I meant with the dropper over here. Chandler Bing : Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. Ross Geller : What's going on? Rachel Green : Well, my eye is a little itchy. Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, mine too! Yeah. Monica Geller : Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor. Rachel Green : Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend! Chandler Bing : Oh, Richard. That's all I ever hear, Richard, Richard, Richard! Monica Geller : Since we've been going out, I think I've mentioned his name twice! Chandler Bing : Okay, so Richard, Richard! Monica Geller : It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good. Rachel Green : Well, I'm sorry I'm not going to an eye doctor! Ross Geller : Oh God, here we go! Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! Rachel Green : Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please? #ALL# : All right, fine. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? Rachel Green : Monica! Come on! Ross Geller : Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? Rachel Green : Ross! Stop it! Come on! Chandler Bing : How much did I love The King and I? Rachel Green : Chandler! Joey Tribbiani : Me too! Me too! Me too! Rachel Green : Just stop it! Come on! Chandler Bing : You okay there man? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I got too excited! Ross Geller : All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, give him a kiss for me! Ross Geller : All right, bye! Monica Geller : Bye! Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Ross Geller : Later! Phoebe Buffay : I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him! Chandler Bing : Wow umm, calm down. Phoebe Buffay : I'm trying, but man that guy can push my buttons! Monica Geller : Why are so mad at him? Phoebe Buffay : Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay? Monica Geller : Well, it just seems that... Phoebe Buffay : You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seem my list by the way? Chandler Bing : Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like? Phoebe Buffay : Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!! Chandler Bing : You got the lead in a movie? That's amazing! What's the movie about?! Joey Tribbiani : It's called Shutter Speed, it's really cool! Yeah, umm, I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in like a day, right? And then, she disappears... But I find out where she lives and when I get there this like old lady answers the door and I say, "Where's Betsy?" Right? And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years." Phoebe Buffay : Ohh-oh, chilling! Joey Tribbiani : And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! And you know what that means buddy! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I know that means buddy! Joey Tribbiani : Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday! Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, my grandmother's dead. Chandler Bing : Well, uh, we can talk about that too Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Thanks Pheebs! Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job? Joey Tribbiani : Oh umm, not go. Chandler Bing : All right, great, road trip baby! This okay with you? Monica Geller : Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. You can go. Chandler Bing : Thank you. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment! Rachel Green : All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! Ohhh! No! Look what I did! Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule! Monica Geller : No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! Chandler!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey Joey! What's up? Joey Tribbiani : I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I've been around. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.} Joey Tribbiani : Great! Problem solved! Phoebe Buffay : But on the southern route there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe. Joey Tribbiani : Well, back to square one. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Good, but wait. Okay, all right, here we go. Now I want you to relax. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. Which do you like better peanut butter or egg whites? Joey Tribbiani : Peanut butter! Phoebe Buffay : Which would you rather be a fireman or a swimmer? Joey Tribbiani : A swimmer! Phoebe Buffay : Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Monica. Oh... huh, I always thought it would be Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : No thinking! No thinking! Tie or ascot? Joey Tribbiani : Ascot! Phoebe Buffay : North route or south route? Joey Tribbiani : North route! Phoebe Buffay : Bamn! There you go! Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Wow! That was incredible! Beard of bees, here I come! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this guy again. Joey Tribbiani : Hey man, what's up? Ross Geller : Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, what do you want to see? Ross Geller : I don't know, umm... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, no thank you. Ross Geller : What's with her? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. But hey, I know we can decide. Okay, I'm gonna ask you questions and you answer real quick. Okay? Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : What do you like better action or comedy? Ross Geller : Action. Joey Tribbiani : Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel? Ross Geller : Dude, you are sick. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing. Rachel Green : Oh my God! What does that thing do? Monica Geller : Oh that's an eye removal machine. Rachel Green : All right, I'm outta here! Monica Geller : I'm kidding! I'm kidding! The Doctor : Hi Rachel! Rachel Green : Hey! The Doctor : I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were a little nervous, but don't worry everything's gonna be just fine. Rachel Green : So were done then! Dr. Miller : Almost! But first, we gotta start. Rachel Green : Okay. Dr. Miller : This is a glaucoma test. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Dr. Miller : Sit down. Rachel Green : Okay. Dr. Miller : But your chin here. Now, you'll feel a small puff of air in each eye. Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : A small puff of air, now come on! Dr. Miller : Here we go. Rachel Green : All right. Dr. Miller : 1...2...3! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. Okay. Dr. Miller : Ready? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Dr. Miller : 1...2... Monica Geller : Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head. Rachel Green : Okay. Dr. Miller : That's okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay! Dr. Miller : 1...2! Y'know what? You're young; you probably don't have glaucoma. Rachel Green : Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! Dr. Miller : Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new. Rachel Green : Yeah, no, I don't-I don't put things in my eye. Dr. Miller : Okay then, I guess we'll see you back here in three months. Rachel Green : Great! Dr. Miller : And I'll fit you for a glass eye. Rachel Green : Okay, just give me the damn drops! Monica Geller : Dr. Miller? P E C F D. Dr. Miller : Very good Monica! You know where they are. Monica Geller : I sure do! And you don't get one! Rachel Green : Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better. Monica Geller : They're still in my coat. Rachel Green : Damn! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You ready to go? Chandler Bing : Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : I love you. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him! Phoebe Buffay : Thanks a lot! I just got that jerk out of my mind! Chandler Bing : Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite? Joey Tribbiani : Uh no, not really. It's an independent film y'know? So we don't have a real big budget. I figured I'd just stay in your room. Chandler Bing : I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket. Chandler Bing : So you don't get paid unless the movie makes money? Joey Tribbiani : Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15. Joey Tribbiani : You got it! Ross Geller : All right! Chandler Bing : All right, bye-bye now! Phoebe Buffay : Bye! Rachel Green : Bye you guys! Joey Tribbiani : Bye-bye! Monica Geller : I wanna say good-bye at the car! Chandler Bing : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Anybody want to say good-bye to me at the car? Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'll say good-bye to you at the car if you don't mind the puss. Joey Tribbiani : See ya! Rachel Green : Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? Pheebs? Hello? Phoebe? Phoe-Phoebe! Come on! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there. Ross Geller : Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did! Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you don't know I can't help you. Ross Geller : Well, I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I can't help you. Ross Geller : Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Apology accepted. Ross Geller : Okay. So we're, we're good? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : All right. I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay? Phoebe Buffay : Bye, fat ass. Ross Geller : ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me! Phoebe Buffay : I don't know! I don't remember! Ross Geller : Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I am mad at you. I know that much. But, I am sorry about the fat ass thing. You actually have a very sweet little hiney. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon. Chandler Bing : We've been driving for a half-hour, and you haven't looked at the road once. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, it's out there! I think I just need lunch. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You wanna eat? My treat! Chandler Bing : Isn't that Ross's money? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Okay. Ross's treat! Where do you wanna eat? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear! Chandler Bing : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, uhh, would you rather be too wet or too dry? Chandler Bing : Too dry. Joey Tribbiani : Do you believe in ghosts, yes or no? Chandler Bing : No! Joey Tribbiani : Is this movie gonna be my big break? Chandler Bing : No! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Chandler Bing : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Dude you said, "No!" Chandler Bing : I also said, "Yes!" Joey Tribbiani : You don't think this is going to be a big break for me? Chandler Bing : No! Ahhh!!! Joey Tribbiani : I don't believe this! Chandler Bing : Look Joe, I just, I just don't want to get your hopes up real high. Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie! Chandler Bing : They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? I don't need this! Okay? I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break. Chandler Bing : Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break. Joey Tribbiani : Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone. Chandler Bing : Oh, you don't want me on the trip? Joey Tribbiani : Not if you're gonna be like this! Chandler Bing : All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I don't want you on the trip! Chandler Bing : All right, fine! Fine! Why don't you pull over? I'll get out right now! Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Get out! Chandler Bing : You're not actually supposed to stop on the bridge. Joey Tribbiani : Get out!! Chandler Bing : All right!! Wait! Wait, there's no sidewalk! Yeah, I'm gonna die here. Ross Geller : Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells? Phoebe Buffay : No. Ross Geller : Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike? Phoebe Buffay : No that made me feel precious. Monica Geller : Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who! Ross Geller : Yeah? Sometimes it's... Rachel Green : Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose. Ross Geller : Okay, I'm the baby. Rachel Green : Eh! Stop it! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Chandler! What are you doing here? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Joey kicked me out of the car on the George Washington bridge! #ALL# : Why?! Chandler Bing : I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast. Phoebe Buffay : That game should not be played without my supervision. Chandler Bing : Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge. Phoebe Buffay : What's in the bag? Chandler Bing : Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. Who wants the teddy bear with one leg? Phoebe Buffay : I do! Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Not even close. Rachel Green : Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this! Monica Geller : Okay! All right! Let's do it! Rachel Green : All right! Monica Geller : Sit down. Rachel Green : All right. Monica Geller : Put your head back. Rachel Green : Yes! Monica Geller : All right. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Now, open your eyes. Rachel Green : Okay, they are. Monica Geller : How many fingers am I holding up? Rachel Green : Four. Monica Geller : Oh my God, I was thinking four. Rachel Green : Really?! Monica Geller : Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay? Rachel Green : Okay! Monica Geller : No drops! Rachel Green : Great! Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : On three, 1...2...3! Now my pillow's all wet! Rachel Green : Well, well, you said it was practice! Monica Geller : Then why did you move?! Rachel Green : Because I knew you were lying! Monica Geller : All right, come here! Rachel Green : What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! Monica Geller : I am going... I'm going--Turn it over! I'm... I am going to get these drops in your eyes. Rachel Green : Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong! Rachel Green : Monica! Stop it! Monica Geller : Damn! It's empty! Rachel Green : Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. Or-or Rachel! Monica Geller : Hello? It's Joey. I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it. Joey Tribbiani : Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests! Monica Geller : What did you do to his sweater vests? Joey Tribbiani : Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car. Monica Geller : Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, dude! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's my grandma. And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. Chandler Bing : Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him! Phoebe Buffay : Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering... Okay, I guess he ran out of change. Chandler Bing : Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me? Monica Geller : Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry. Chandler Bing : That's a good idea. I wonder where I could get a basket of porn... Phoebe Buffay : No, don't-don't say I'm sorry with porn! Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison. Ross Geller : Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Ross Geller : What do you like better flora or fauna? Phoebe Buffay : Fauna. Ross Geller : Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle? Phoebe Buffay : Garfunkle. Ross Geller : Why are you mad at me? Phoebe Buffay : You said I was boring--Ohh! Ross Geller : When did I say you were boring?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, I remember now! We were playing chess! Ross Geller : Phoebe! You and I have never played chess! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, come on! Yes, remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing chess, you said I was boring, and then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz! Okay, there's a chance this may have been a dream. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work. Stanley : Umm, slight change of plans. We've shut down. Joey Tribbiani : Wh-what?! Why?! Stanley : It's a money thing, we don't have any. Joey Tribbiani : You're kidding right? Stanley : No. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Stanley : It-it's probably just temporary. We're hoping to get some more money soon, so if could just uh, hang out. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hang out?! How long? Stanley : I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya? Joey Tribbiani : No! Stanley : Eh, worth a shot. Look Joey, let me know where you're staying, okay? The Grip : Hey pal, are you Joey Tribbiani? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. The Grip : These got left for ya. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Congratulations on your big break. Monica Geller : Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica, it's Joey! Monica Geller : Hey Joey! Aww, you remembered even though you're a big star! Joey Tribbiani : Aw, come on! It'll be years before I forget you! Monica Geller : Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'. The Husband : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Everybody smile! Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! Kill me. Kill me now. Ross Geller : Hey Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide? Rachel Green : Yep! Monica Geller : Go!! Rachel Green : What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God! Monica Geller : Okay! Okay! Okay! We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours. Rachel Green : Oh! Rachel Green : Pheebs? Could you get that? Please? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie? Rachel Green : No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Rachel Green : Sucker! Phoebe Buffay : Hello? Hey Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Where is it? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! So you're 5639?! Joey Tribbiani : That's it! Thanks Pheebs! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler? Chandler Bing : Is that Joey?! Let me talk to him! Joey Tribbiani : No! Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real! A Casino Boss : Hey! Tribbiani! Get back to work! Break time's over! Phoebe Buffay : Who was that? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Don't come out here! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person! Joey Tribbiani : I got that! I forgive ya! Don't come out here! Chandler Bing : Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here! A Tourist : Would you mind doing a picture with us? Chandler Bing : Uh, what was that? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, Entertainment Tonight. Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. Phoebe Buffay : Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! Monica? Monica Geller : Phoebe? Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long? Phoebe Buffay : It's okay. What the hell took you so long? Monica Geller : Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard. Phoebe Buffay : Which Richard? Monica Geller : The Richard. Phoebe Buffay : Richard Simmons?! Oh my God! Monica Geller : Noo! My ex-boyfriend Richard! Y'know the tall guy, moustache? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it? Monica Geller : It was, it was really nice. We started talking and I-I ended up having lunch with him. Phoebe Buffay : That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard. Monica Geller : Really? Phoebe Buffay : But again, Simmons. Go on. Monica Geller : The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler? Monica Geller : Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I can't believe you guys lasted a whole year! Monica Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : On a totally different bet. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : It's almost our anniversary! Chandler Bing : I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler. Chandler Bing : Huh. Monica Geller : I got you a present! Chandler Bing : Oh, but it's not 'til tomorrow! Monica Geller : I know, but you have to open it today! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas! Chandler Bing : Wow! Monica Geller : For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary. Chandler Bing : Do we have to? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there. Monica Geller : Oh, he just doesn't want us to go through any trouble. Think of how excited he'll be when we go out and surprise him! Plus we get to have our own, ani-Vegas-ary! A-Nevadaversary! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I think we should see other people. Monica Geller : But we can go, right? Chandler Bing : Yes. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : It's a great idea. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm gonna go too! Chandler Bing : Y'know Pheebs, it's kinda our anniversary. Phoebe Buffay : Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London. Monica Geller : Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, great story! I'm going! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?! Rachel Green : Well, I guess I could take a couple days off work. Phoebe Buffay : Of course you can take a couple days off work because this trip includes me! Rachel Green : Oh no, wait a minute, wait, I've got a presentation tomorrow. I can't miss that. Ross Geller : Oh, but I've got tickets to the Van Gogh exhibit! I've been waiting like a year for this. Chandler Bing : Art lover! Ross Geller : What'd you say? Chandler Bing : I said art lover. Ross Geller : Is that supposed to be an insult? Chandler Bing : I don't know, I'm very tired. Ross Geller : So Rach, maybe you and I could fly out together Saturday. Rachel Green : That sounds great. Ross Geller : Yeah? All right I'll call the airlines. Rachel Green : Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, so you can walk around naked. Rachel Green : No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time. Phoebe Buffay : Naked alone time. Rachel Green : No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesn't mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door? Phoebe Buffay : So, so far is this trip to Vegas better or worse than the trip to London? Chandler Bing : So it's pretty much the same Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, what about after I give you these candies? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I guess it's a little better now. Phoebe Buffay : Ah-ha! Okay, Las Vegas 1, London 0! I'll be right back. Chandler Bing : Happy plane-aversary. Monica Geller : Aww! I love you! Chandler Bing : Can I give you a present now? Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Oh man! Don't tell me I did this! Monica Geller : I love the "I forgot the present" fake out! Chandler Bing : How do you feel about the, "I really did forgot the present, please forgive me" not fake out? Monica Geller : Oh that's okay. Don't worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back. Chandler Bing : Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever! Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing. Chandler Bing : What-what Richard thing? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Chandler Bing : What Richard thing? Phoebe Buffay : Simmons! Go with Simmons! Monica Geller : Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary. Chandler Bing : I'm not mad. Monica Geller : Really?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Yeah, so you-you bumped into Richard! You grabbed a bite! It's no big deal. Monica Geller : Great! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, London 1... Rachel Green : Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen...naked! I'm picking up an orange. I'm naked! Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. Ross Geller : Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokes-Unless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I? Rachel Green : Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya, baby! Darnit! Ugh. Ross Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : May I come in? Rachel Green : Uh, yeah, if you want too. Ross Geller : Do you want me too? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure? Ross Geller : So do I. Okay Rach, before anything happens I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." Okay? I just want this to be about what it is! Rachel Green : And um, what-what is that Ross? Ross Geller : The physical act of love. Rachel Green : What?! Are you crazy? Ross Geller : Oh so-so you weren't trying to entice me just now with your-your nakedness? Rachel Green : Oh God, you saw me?! Oh! Ross Geller : You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness. Rachel Green : Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?! Ross Geller : No! No! No! No-no-no-no. Rachel Green : Ohh wow! I'm sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes! Ross Geller : Can we, can we just forget this ever happened? Rachel Green : Yes of course, absolutely! You're right. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Yes. Ross Geller : All right I guess I'm, gonna go pack. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh wait! One more thing umm, do-do we still need to uh settle the question of "us?" Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys wait! Guys! This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh! Monica Geller : Phoebe, you don't eat animals. Phoebe Buffay : For 99 cents, I'd eat you. Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! Oh! Look! Hi! Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey! Hey! Hey!! Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Chandler Bing : Love your condoms my man. Joey Tribbiani : What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come. Phoebe Buffay : Why are you dressed as a gladiator? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break. Monica Geller : Who are you talking too? Joey Tribbiani : They uh director. Uhh, her. All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here. Chandler Bing : Why?! What happened?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does. Monica Geller : I'm so sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. I'm sorry man. Chandler Bing : No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody. Monica Geller : I knew you were not okay with that. Phoebe Buffay : So you're a gladiator! Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what-what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Monica had lunch with Richard. Joey Tribbiani : Dawson?! Phoebe Buffay : Noo! But that would've been so cool! Chandler Bing : No! Her boyfriend Richard! Monica Geller : It meant nothing! Okay? After all this time, how can you not trust me? Chandler Bing : When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it! Monica Geller : You're right. I'm sorry. I should've told you. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Aww, there we go. Phoebe Buffay : I love Vegas! Monica Geller : I promise you, next time I will absolutely tell you. Chandler Bing : Next time? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, so close. Chandler Bing : There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again! Monica Geller : I can not see him? I mean, you can't tell me what to do! Chandler Bing : That's so funny, because I think I just did! Monica Geller : Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you. Chandler Bing : Fine with me! Monica Geller : Fine! Happy Anniversary! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Whoa! Guys! Please! Come on! Come on! This is obviously just a big misunderstanding. Monica Geller : No it is not! Chandler Bing : What are you talking... Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey don't look at me! I just work here! Rachel Green : Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love. Ross Geller : Yep! That's hilarious! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm done. I'm done. Ross Geller : Y'know, last night was embarrassing for you too. Rachel Green : No, not really. I mean you've seen me naked hundreds of times. Ross Geller : Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building. Rachel Green : Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily. Ross Geller : What?! You totally get embarrassed! Rachel Green : No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are. Ross Geller : Is that so? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know in Roman times this was more than just a hat. Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right... Chandler Bing : Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary. Joey Tribbiani : All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today. Chandler Bing : Whoa! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, he was playing blackjack for like an hour and he won $5,000. Can you believe that? $5,000! Chandler Bing : Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again! Chandler Bing : Good luck! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through! Chandler Bing : I see. Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks. Monica Geller : I can't believe this! This is like the worst night ever! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. I am so sorry. Monica Geller : This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again. Phoebe Buffay : So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him. Monica Geller : Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Yeah! Las Vegas, number one! Monica Geller : Anybody lose this? The Croupier : Comin' out. Place your bet. Dice are out. Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! Monica Geller : Hmm. Guy : So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. Rachel Green : Yeah, all right. All right! Just keep walkin'! All right? Rachel Green : Ross! What are you... I'm sorry sir. I just, I think he just really likes you. Ross Geller : Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? Ross Geller : What the? What... Rachel Green : Hi! The Flight Attendant : Miss? May I help you? Rachel Green : Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident. Joey Tribbiani : Can I change a hundred? Blackjack Dealer : Changing one hundred! Good luck sir. Joey Tribbiani : Let's ride. Blackjack Dealer : 13. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me! Ohh man! Wait! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin! Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : My identical hand twin! Chandler Bing : What's an identical hand twin? Joey Tribbiani : What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror! Chandler Bing : Are you sure you weren't looking at your hands in a mirror? Joey Tribbiani : Don't you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire! Chandler Bing : How? Joey Tribbiani : Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands! Chandler Bing : Again I must go back to, how? Joey Tribbiani : This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand twice? Huh? Chandler Bing : Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, are you unsupporting me again? Chandler Bing : No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs!! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : I found my identical hand twin! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, you are so lucky! Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up? Chandler Bing : No! Phoebe Buffay : But she just came up here! Chandler Bing : That was Joey! Phoebe Buffay : I wonder where she is. That is so weird. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard. Phoebe Buffay : Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you! Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Good. I should really start wearing hats! The Flight Attendant : Welcome to Las Vegas. The Flight Attendant : Thank you! Enjoy your flight? Rachel Green : Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. The Flight Attendant : Hope you had a nice flight. Ross Geller : Ohh, it was the best! Ross Geller : I think the check in is that way. Rachel Green : Ahh. Rachel Green : Hello! Ohh, kids love me. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : You guys are here! Yay! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? and you're Bob Saget. Rachel Green : Pancho Vila? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : What are you talking about Pheebs? I don't... Oh my God, you drew on me?! Ross Geller : Hey, you wet my pants! Phoebe Buffay : Whoa, what kind of party was this? Rachel Green : Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I can-you have so crossed a line. Ross Geller : Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. Phoebe Buffay : Ugh! Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing. Ross Geller : Oooohhh, I'll bet she's one of those people. Phoebe Buffay : M-M-Mole people? Ross Geller : What? No-no, a lurker. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. What's a lurker? Ross Geller : Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then... Phoebe Buffay : Kills you? Ross Geller : No. They swoop in and steal your jackpot. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh! Ross Geller : Uh-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : How do you know about this? Ross Geller : My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dance-karate lessons. Phoebe Buffay : Dance karate? Ross Geller : Yes, it's a deadly but beautiful sport. Rachel Green : All right, it won't come off! Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : It won't come off! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure? Rachel Green : No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey you made it! Ross Geller : Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Hey-hey! Rachel Green : Hi!! Joey Tribbiani : Who's your friend? He's hot! Ross Geller : Thanks man. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie. Joey Tribbiani : No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin! Ross Geller : Your what? Joey Tribbiani : My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine! Ross Geller : What?! That's not gonna make you any money! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb. Monica Geller : All right baby, come on! Yes! Yes! I am on fire! Chandler Bing : See you later Mon. Monica Geller : Wait Chandler, what are you doing?! Chandler Bing : What does it look like? I'm going home. Monica Geller : What? Wait! Why? Chandler! Chandler! Wait! I'm sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me! Chandler Bing : Come on! I was there! I know he's the love of your life. Monica Geller : Not any more. Chandler Bing : Really?! Monica Geller : Really! All right? Let's forget about this going home stuff and celebrate our anniversary. Okay, this is empty. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, hey. Where's the other guy? The Woman Dealer : Which guy? Joey Tribbiani : He's kinda tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this. See? The Woman Dealer : I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! How you doin'? The Woman Dealer : Very busy. Joey Tribbiani : Right! Okay. Ross Geller : Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. A beard and a moustache. Thank you. No, she didn't think so. I know it's like anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh! Okay. Okay, thank you! Yeah, it's not coming off. Rachel Green : What?! What else did he say? Ross Geller : Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So... Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it. Rachel Green : Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this! Ross Geller : Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad. Rachel Green : Ross, I am a human doodle!! Ross Geller : Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! There are tons...of...freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear! Ross Geller : Okay, there was some staring and pointing. Rachel Green : Okay, I need a, I need a drink! Ross Geller : Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. But who cares?! Because it's all on me! That is, one big drink! Rachel Green : Macadamia nut? Ross Geller : Umm... Wow! That's-that's some pricey nut! Rachel Green : Hm-mmm! Ross Geller : Really like those Macadamia nuts, huh? Rachel Green : Nope! Phoebe Buffay : Get out of here you lurker! Go on! Get! Chandler Bing : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! You made up! Monica Geller : Yeah, I couldn't be mad at him for too long. Chandler Bing : Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, get a room. Monica Geller : We have one. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Use it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh-oh, yeah! That's right, you take good care of those babies! Joey's Hand Twin : Excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : It's me, Joey! Joey's Hand Twin : Do I know you? Joey Tribbiani : Joey! Joey's Hand Twin : Oh-ho, yeah. Yeah, the hand guy. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?! Joey's Hand Twin : Nothing? Joey Tribbiani : Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us! Joey's Hand Twin : I have to get back to... Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand! Joey's Hand Twin : That's okay. Joey Tribbiani : But you haven't even heard the chorus! Rachel Green : Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel. Ross Geller : All right. Y'know what? We don't have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. 13. Rachel Green : Hit me! Ross Geller : Oohh, 23. Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! Rachel Green : I bet 20. Ross Geller : You're right! Monica Geller : A new pair of shoes for the Chan-Chan man! Yes! Chandler Bing : Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life! Monica Geller : That's right baby! Okay, what do I want now? Chandler Bing : Okay, ah umm, ah, a 8. Ah, a 6? Monica Geller : Pick a number! That is your only job! Chandler Bing : 8. 8! Monica Geller : Thank you! Chandler Bing : If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner! #ALL# : Yay!! The Croupier : 8! Monica Geller : Yes! #ALL# : Yay!! Monica Geller : We're not really gonna buy these people steak dinners are we? Chandler Bing : Noo! Monica Geller : Okay, good! Okay, what do I want now? Chandler Bing : Ahh, ooh, try a hard 8. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Two fours. Monica Geller : Okay. The Croupier : 8!: A Drunken Gambler : Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy! Chandler Bing : Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! Wait-wait-wait-wait! We get the biggest suite in the place. Monica Geller : All right, biggest suite in the place. Come on! Chandler Bing : Yes!! I love you! I can't even remember what we were fighting about! Monica Geller : Oh, that's because I had lunch with Rich-Me neither! Okay, what do I want now? Chandler Bing : Another hard 8. Monica Geller : Hard 8?! We should call it easy 8! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; and we get married here tonight. Drunken Gambler : Go! Come on! Roll! #ALL# : Roll-roll!! Monica Geller : Shut up!! It just got interesting! Monica Geller : What did you just say? Chandler Bing : You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight. Monica Geller : Are you serious?! Chandler Bing : Yes! I love you! I've never loved anybody as much as I love you. Monica Geller : I've never loved anybody as much as I love you. Chandler Bing : Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say? Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right! Chandler Bing : Okay! That's a four! And where-where's the other one? Drunken Gambler : It went under the table. Monica Geller : Nobody move! Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way! Chandler Bing : All right! Chandler Bing : Here it is! Here it is! Monica Geller : That could be a four or a five. It's your call. Chandler Bing : It's a four. Monica Geller : I think so too. Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, lost again. That's it! You and me, outside! The Lurker : I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair! Phoebe Buffay : Be cool! Okay lady, your lurking days are over! The Lurker : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave? The Lurker : Also Monday. Phoebe Buffay : What time? Maybe we can share a cab! Rachel Green : Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Ross Geller : We need more cards. Rachel Green : Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. Whup, okay. Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial! Ross Geller : That must be our alcohol and beers! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey! Rachel Green : Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate! Ross Geller : I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I'm fine! Thanks! Hey Rach, how you doin'? Rachel Green : I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : Ross, don't let her drink anymore! Ross Geller : Ohh, here's that Macadamia nut! Rachel Green : Ohhh!! Ross Geller : Nope! Something else. Rachel Green : Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now? Ross Geller : I wanna get out of the room! Y'know, I...I really miss downstairs. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room. Ross Geller : Well hello! I'm Ross! Rachel Green : Good luck to ya! Ross Geller : Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. Rachel Green : Wow! Ross Geller : Hello! Rachel Green : Hello! Rachel Green : Hello! Phoebe Buffay : I won! I won! I finally won! The Lurker : I won! That was my quarter! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Here! Take a hike toots! The Lurker : Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. The Security Guard : Is that true miss? Phoebe Buffay : Sells drugs to kids. The Security Guard : What?! Phoebe Buffay : She sells drugs to kids. The Lurker : It was my quarter! The Security Guard : Was it her quarter? Phoebe Buffay : How about we talk about this over dinner? The Security Guard : Okay lady, you're out of here. Phoebe Buffay : No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!! The Security Guard : I'm just taking you outside! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Monica Geller : Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Chandler Bing : Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new. Monica Geller : You're so efficient. I love you! Chandler Bing : Let's go! Monica Geller : No-no-no! We need something old! Chandler Bing : Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve. Monica Geller : That'll work! Chandler Bing : I don't think so. Monica Geller : Okay, now we just need something borrowed! Chandler Bing : Here just...take this. Monica Geller : That's stealing! Chandler Bing : No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress. Monica Geller : Ohh. Chandler Bing : Okay, one thing at a time. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh! Joey's Hand Twin : Are you gonna play? Joey Tribbiani : No-no, I don't really have any money. Not yet, anyway... Joey's Hand Twin : You can't sit here if you're not gonna play. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ho-ho! Phoebe Buffay : Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B. Joey's Hand Twin : 14. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world. Joey's Hand Twin : Stop it! Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table? Joey's Hand Twin : Please stop it! Joey Tribbiani : Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue? Joey's Hand Twin : If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you! The Security Guard : Didn't I just throw you out of here? Phoebe Buffay : No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange! The Security Guard : Come on, lady! Joey's Hand Twin : Please, please take him too. Joey Tribbiani : Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! I'm your hand twin!! Chandler Bing : Hello! One marriage please! Monica Geller : Yep, we wanna get married! The Attendant : Well, there's a service in progress. Have a seat. Chandler Bing : All right. Chandler Bing : Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out? Monica Geller : No, only because that's the graduation song. Chandler Bing : Okay! This is it! We're gonna get married! Monica Geller : Are you sure you wanna do this? Ross Geller : Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! Rachel Green : Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! Rachel Green : Wait! Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! This is it! We're gonna get married! Monica Geller : Are you sure you wanna do this? Ross Geller : Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! Rachel Green : Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! Rachel Green : Wait! Okay! Monica Geller : Whoa! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Come on Pheebs! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Okay! Okay! Chandler Bing : Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!! Attendant : N-No running in the chapel! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Don't you give me any of your-Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : What are you guys doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isn't that why you guys are here? Chandler Bing : Yes! Well that-yes. Monica Geller : Why else would we be here? Joey Tribbiani : Well! What happened?! Did we miss it? Chandler Bing : We actually missed it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe you wouldn't have had you run in the chapel! Monica Geller : This is insane! Phoebe Buffay : What's the big deal, y'know? It's not like it's a real marriage. Chandler Bing : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, you're only married in Vegas. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas you're married everywhere. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!-Eh! Well... Rachel Green : Ohhh! Ross Geller : Why are we in bed together? Rachel Green : I don't know. Do-do you have any clothes on? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Really?! Ross Geller : No! But we-we didn't have...sex-uh, did we? I mean, I don't remember much about last night, it was such a blur. Rachel Green : Oh! I remember laughing! I laughed a lot. Ross Geller : And we didn't have sex. Rachel Green : Ohh, I mean, we were really drunk. I'm just glad we didn't do anything stupid. Ross Geller : Tell me about it. Joey Tribbiani : Mornin' Pheebs. Well, my movie has officially been canceled. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Joey, I'm so sorry. You want some of my breakfast? Joey Tribbiani : Nah, I'm too depressed to eat. I'll probably eat in like 5 minutes. So I guess I'll just fly home with you guys, what time's your flight? Phoebe Buffay : What about my cab? Joey Tribbiani : I don't need that anymore. Phoebe Buffay : No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back. Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to drive all the way back by myself, I get so lonely. Oh-ooh! How about you come with me? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, it's such a long trip. Joey Tribbiani : It'll be great! We-we could talk, and play games! Huh? This could be our chance to like renew our friendship. Phoebe Buffay : Are you asking me to have a frenaissance? Joey Tribbiani : Sure? Phoebe Buffay : All right. Although I don't think we need one, I never stopped loving you. Chandler Bing : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet? Phoebe Buffay : Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any minute. Joey Tribbiani : Where is the waitress?! I'm starving! Chandler Bing : It's a buffet man. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, here's where I win all my money back! Chandler Bing : Listen, I gotta talk to you. Joey Tribbiani : Sure! What's up? Chandler Bing : Monica and I almost got married last night. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! That's huge! Wait a minute, why come I wasn't invited? And who was going to be your best man? Don't say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross." Chandler Bing : Look, I just don't think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Y'know? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Y'know? And, how do I tell her without crushing her? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Tell her she's not marriage material. Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if she's anything like me, she's just gonna be relieved. Monica Geller : How do I tell Chandler that it's too soon. It's gonna break his heart, he's not gonna think that I don't love him anymore. Phoebe Buffay : Well you don't. Monica Geller : Yes I do! Phoebe Buffay : Good! Good! I was just testing you. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Oh hi! Hi! Y'know, we were just talking about bacon. Phoebe Buffay : No, we were talking about tennis. Tennis is more believable. Ross Geller : Hey! The Girls : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or... Rachel Green : I don't know. What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night. Ross Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch. Monica Geller : Rach! We weren't gonna miss our friends getting married! Rachel Green : Who got married?! Chandler Bing : You did. Ross Geller : What?! Hello! We didn't get married. Rachel Green : No, we didn't get married! That's ridiculous! Ross Geller : We-we-we-I remember being in a chapel. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I-They would not let us get married when we were that drunk! Rachel Green : No! Joey Tribbiani : They let you get married when you're drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk! Phoebe Buffay : Hell, I'm drunk right now! What? I can't have a mimosa with breakfast?! I'm on vacation! Monica Geller : What are you guys gonna do? Rachel Green : Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? Chandler Bing : Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this one's free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third one's free. Ross Geller : Laugh it up, but the joke's on you. Because we don't need to get divorced, okay? We we're just gonna get an annulment. Joey Tribbiani : An annulment? Ross! I don't think surgery's the answer here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh-oh, that's your thing. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : You're thing. You're thing. Y'know? You're the guy who gets divorced. #ALL# : Oh yeah! Ross Geller : No-no, that's-that's not my thing! I do not love getting divorced! Phoebe Buffay : Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much you're probably gonna marry it! Then it won't work out and you're gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. I'm so drunk. Monica Geller : So, what do you think we should do? Chandler Bing : I don't know. But I-I-I know I love you! Monica Geller : I know I love you! Chandler Bing : So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you. Monica Geller : That's a good question. Look umm, last night we let the dice decide. Maybe we should leave it up to fate again. I love you! Chandler Bing : Yes, we don't get married unless there's a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight then there's a definite sign that we should get married. Monica Geller : All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we don't get married. Chandler Bing : Sounds great. Monica Geller : Okay. Croupler : Coming in, we got a shooter! Money please. Monica Geller : Ready? Chandler Bing : Ready! Monica Geller : Come on eight. Chandler Bing : Yes, yes eight. Croupler : Eight! Easy eight. Monica Geller : Wow! I can't believe I actually rolled an eight. Chandler Bing : That was so unlikely. Well, let's get married! I guess. Monica Geller : Wait a minute. That wasn't a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight. Chandler Bing : That's right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit! Monica Geller : I wanted it so bad! Wanna go pack? Chandler Bing : Yeah. We're doing the right thing, right? Monica Geller : Ohh, of course we are! We left it up to fate. If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. Come on Joey! You can't win if you don't ask any QUESTIONS!!! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, you promised me a fun road trip! We've been on the road six hours and you've been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper! Joey Tribbiani : All right. All right. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radio's broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice. Joey Tribbiani : Really? I don't... Phoebe Buffay : Sing!! Joey Tribbiani : I wanna rock and roll all night! Joey Tribbiani : Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! Hitchhiker : Morning! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, hubby! Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : I'm not going to do that. Rachel Green : Okay! So, we'll just stay married. Ross Geller : Yes, exactly! Rachel Green : And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller! Ross Geller : Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought I'd have to talk you into this more. Rachel Green : Okay, see now I'm scared because I don't actually think you're kidding. Ross Geller : I'm-I'm not kidding. Look I-I, I can't have three failed marriages. I can't. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy! Rachel Green : What-wh-what so we'll just stay married forever?! Ross Geller : Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! It's right next to it! Rachel Green : Ohh, okay, I'm sorry. You're right. Y'know what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what you're asking of me. Ross Geller : I'm asking you to do me a favor. Rachel Green : You are asking me to be your wife! Ross Geller : And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor. Monica Geller : That kid really kicked me hard on the plane. Chandler Bing : Well you did pull his hair. Monica Geller : He took my snack! Chandler Bing : I'm not getting into this again! Monica Geller : Okay! Oh God, y'know what? It's really bad. Chandler Bing : Well, I told you not to walk. Here. There. Okay. Monica Geller : This doesn't mean anything, does it? Chandler Bing : No! Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape-, a rapist or a killer or something! Joey Tribbiani : Don't you think I asked him that before he got in?! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what? I'm not talking to you! You go back to sleep! And you, are you a rapist?! Hitchhiker : No! Phoebe Buffay : Do you like car games? Hitchhiker : Yeah, y'know the license plate game? Phoebe Buffay : I love the license plate game! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, I'll play! I'll play! Phoebe Buffay : No-No! You need your sleep. Night-night! Shh! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. We register, and you get to keep all the presents! Rachel Green : No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married. Ross Geller : I don't know if it's true. Rachel Green : Oh b-b-but it is! Ross Geller : Oh, okay, y'know what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage... Rachel Green : Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the world's worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will! Ross Geller : All right. All right, I'll do it. Rachel Green : Thank you. Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower? Hitchhiker : Wait! Wait! There is the train station! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Hitchhiker : This is where I get off. Well, I have your address and phone number. Phoebe Buffay : And I have your name and the fact that you're a drifter, so the ball's pretty much in your court. Hitchhiker : All right, see ya Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : Come on Pheebs! I can't take this anymore! Let-let me make it up to you. Huh? Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Take your protein pills and put your helmet on! Phoebe Buffay : Stop it! Stop it no! That's not fair! Y'know I can't resist that beautiful voice! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didn't deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you. Phoebe Buffay : You can still sleep at night and stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? I've got a really good one! I've been thinking about it since Kansas. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Is it a meatball sub? Joey Tribbiani : That is incredible! You are the master! Rachel Green : Huh, that's funny. You look like you're gonna be the... Monica Geller : No, don't say it! Don't even think it! Rachel Green : All right. Okay Chandler, enjoy your handful. Chandler Bing : All right, should we just, should we just get married? Y'know? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it. Monica Geller : I'm sick of the signs! It's too fast, I'm happy the way things are! Chandler Bing : Me too! Monica Geller : I don't want things to change! Do you? Chandler Bing : No! Monica Geller : All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because it's been three days and it's driving me insane! Chandler Bing : Jeez, relax! It's not like we're mar-ah-ah!! Chandler Bing : Y'know I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here? Monica Geller : Then all your stuff would be here. Chandler Bing : Well, what if all my stuff was here? Monica Geller : Then you'd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesn't make any sense. Chandler Bing : Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what I'm saying? Monica Geller : Live together? There have been no signs for that. Chandler Bing : Me asking is kind of a sign. Monica Geller : YES!!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : Okay!!!!! Monica Geller : Yes! Okay! Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Here's your key Chandler Bing : Oh thanks. Monica Geller : Here's your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in! Chandler Bing : The door hasn't been locked in five years, but okay! Ready?! Monica Geller : Ready! Chandler Bing : Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I can't get in! Monica Geller : Wait! Oh my God! I can't get out! Chandler Bing : This is not a sign! Monica Geller : No, it's not a sign! It's a very old key! Chandler Bing : It's an old key! Monica Geller : Oh my God it's old! Chandler Bing : I love you! Monica Geller : I love you! Chandler Bing : Are you hugging the door right now. Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Yeah-yeah, me neither. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, so did everything go all right with the annulment? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, no problems. It's all taken care of. Rachel Green : Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, why not? Rachel Green : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : No thanks, I've already seen one. Rachel Green : Okay, umm, I'm gonna get my sweater. Ross Geller : Okay. You uh, you wanna hear something weird? Phoebe Buffay : Always. Ross Geller : I didn't get the annulment. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : We're still married! Don't tell Rachel. See you later. Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : The key's stuck in the lock. Joey Tribbiani : I can fix it. Hold on. Look out. Look out. Chandler Bing : It still doesn't work. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not finished. Chandler Bing : Oh. Chandler Bing : Nice job Joe! You're quite the craftsmen. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, so did everything go okay with the annulment? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, no problems. It's all taken care of. Rachel Green : Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, why not? Rachel Green : Okay, umm, I'm gonna get my sweater. Ross Geller : Okay. You uh, you wanna hear something weird? Phoebe Buffay : Always. Ross Geller : I didn't get the annulment. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : We're still married! Don't tell Rachel. See you later. Ross Geller : Hey, do you have any gum? Rachel Green : Oh? Yeah! Sure! Phoebe Buffay : Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second? Rachel Green : Oh but Phoebe, we're gonna be late for the movie. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, there's a cab! Taxi!! Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. Rachel Green : Yeah, we're, we're actually just gonna walk 'cause it's right up there at the Angelica. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! You didn't get the annulment?!! Ross Geller : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Ross?! Ross Geller : Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyer's office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just don't want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces. Phoebe Buffay : Don't be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Y'know? Mine's gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive. Ross Geller : Look, all I know is I-I can't have another failed marriage! Phoebe Buffay : So okay what? You're gonna be married to a girl who doesn't even know about it?!-Op, woman! Sorry. Ross Geller : Well, okay so, I don't have it all worked out quite yet. Just don't say anything to Rachel, please? Phoebe Buffay : Rachel is one of my closest friends. Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay! Rachel Green : Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : What was that?! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie? Rachel Green : I haven't seen it yet! Phoebe Buffay : Well then you'd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go! Rachel Green : Noooooooo!! Chandler Bing : Y'know when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine? Monica Geller : Of course! Joey wouldn't let you have one? Chandler Bing : No. When it comes to sweets, he's surprisingly strict. Monica Geller : Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him you're moving out? Chandler Bing : No, no, I keep trying, y'know? I can get out, "Joey, I have too..." but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, "...go to the bathroom." He may think I'm sick. Monica Geller : Y'know, I really have to tell Rachel, but I... We just have to get it over with! Y'know, the next time we see them we're just gonna tell them. Okay? That's it. Chandler Bing : Oh, so that's this is gonna work now? You're just gonna order me around all the time? Monica Geller : Pretty much. Chandler Bing : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica! Monica Geller : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey man, you feeling any better? Monica Geller : Joey, we have something to tell you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! You're pregnant! Chandler Bing : No-o-o! No? No-o-o! Look Joey, here's the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, I'm gonna be moving out man. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Well, uh... Hey! I'm really happy for you guys! Congratulations! See you later. Monica Geller : Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. Like you'd believe that. This sucks! Chandler Bing : Look, I-I'm just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up I'm moving right back in with you! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if you're gonna be moving in with him I feel it's my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? He's a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm... Oh-oh he always, he always umm-Oh, who am I kidding! He's the best roommate ever! Monica Geller : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, have you seen Rachel? Phoebe Buffay : No, why? Monica Geller : I have some pretty exciting news! Phoebe Buffay : You're pregnant! Monica Geller : No! Chandler and I are moving in together! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! That's Good! Wow! But Now If You Were Pregnant, What Would You Name It? Hint Phoebe. Ross Geller : Hey! Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : What's up? Monica Geller : Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend...shaking up. Oh, that's great. That's great. Phoebe Buffay : Guys, I'm happy too. Monica Geller : Okay, come here! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Big day huh? People moving in, people getting annulled... Monica Geller : Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesn't seem so bad? Ross Geller : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel... Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?! Ross Geller : Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebody's stairs! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, it's not that big a deal! So you'll been divorced three times, you'll still have a life, you'll go on dates... Ross Geller : No! No, I won't! I'll be at the bottom of the dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four Divorce Guy uh, Murderer Guy, and-and, Geologists. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, you're being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces! Ross Geller : Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know that's really fair. Y'know? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, I'll show you! Come here. Ross Geller : What?! Why? Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldn't you date him? Ross Geller : And if you wait right here, I'll go get Ross. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Ugh, I thought you were Rachel! Chandler Bing : What gave me away? Monica Geller : I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and she's the only one left! Chandler Bing : Okay, so that's it, everybody knows! It's official, we're moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Wow that was my scariest voice! You're very brave. Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Ugh, the worse day! Y'know, you think you're making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel. Chandler Bing : Hey listen, for the first four years of my work everybody called me Sha-la-lap. Seriously. Rachel Green : I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky! Chandler Bing : Well, I-I still think you're very-very nice and very pretty... Rachel Green : What? Chandler Bing : All yours babe. Monica Geller : Have a seat. Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here. Rachel Green : Oh my God! That's so great! I'm so happy for you guys! Monica Geller : Really?! Rachel Green : And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together! Monica Geller : Yes, we are. Rachel Green : And Chandler, you're gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel can't be late. Chandler Bing : Rach... Monica Geller : Yeah, he's gonna work on that. Rachel Green : Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God... Come and knock on my door... Monica Geller : We'll be waiting for you... Ross Geller : ...once you know the stories, it's not that bad. First marriage, wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldn't allow you to get married when you're that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevada's fault. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so what do you think ladies? Who wouldn't be interested? Who wouldn't want to date him? Stephanie : Well the divorces don't bother me, I'd date him. But, not while he's still married. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, what about you? Wouldn't you want a date? Karin : Actually, I'm dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like y'know bad for me, so until I work that out... Phoebe Buffay : Whatever! What about you Meg? Meg : Well, I don't care about the divorces either, but I wouldn't date him. It's just that he's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl. Ross Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : She said, "He's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl." Ross Geller : This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her. Ross Geller : We were drunk! I would've married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just don't want to be divorced three times. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and now he's using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, "Well done!" Bravo Meg. Ross Geller : Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-I'll go to my lawyer's office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth--Nothing!! Meg : Okay now I wouldn't date you because you seem a little creepy. Karin : I am so attracted to him right now. Chandler Bing : Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen? Monica Geller : Soon! I-I just couldn't before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldn't do that to her, she's my best friend! Chandler Bing : Well, Joey's my best friend. Monica Geller : I'm not your best friend? Chandler Bing : You just said... Of course you're my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though? Monica Geller : All right, all right, at least I'm prepared. Chandler Bing : Okay. Oh yes. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey! Monica Geller : These aren't for you! Are you upset? Chandler Bing : I am now! Rachel Green : Hey roomie! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye! Monica Geller : Rach, there's something uh, important I have to tell you. Rachel Green : Are you pregnant?! Monica Geller : No! But, I'm throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before. Rachel Green : Um-hmm. Monica Geller : Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh, that's funny, I can't believe I did that. Monica Geller : Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasn't clear! I'm really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? There's absolutely no rush. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Don't you want a cookie? Rachel Green : Sure? Thanks. Monica Geller : Maybe, do you need a tissue? Rachel Green : Monica, where did you get these?! Monica Geller : I made them! Rachel Green : Ooh, good God, they're so yummy! Joey Tribbiani : God, it's gonna so weird like when I come home and you're not here. Y'know? No more Joey and Chan's. No more J and C's. "You wanna go over to Joey and Chandler's?" "Can't, its not there." Chandler Bing : Look, I'm just gonna be across the hall, we can still do all the same stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah but we won't be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future. Chandler Bing : Not once did we do that. Monica Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Monica Geller : So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Well, how'd she take it? Monica Geller : Really well. Yeah. Surprisingly well. Yeah, she didn't cry. She wasn't angry or sad. Chandler Bing : And you're upset because you didn't make your best friend cry? Monica Geller : I mean, all I'm asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Don't I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! It's like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channie's!! Chandler Bing : Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?! Russell : You got married again. Ross Geller : Yes. Russell : So that's your second marriage in two years. Ross Geller : Yes, second in two years. Third overall. Russell : Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why don't you tell me what happened. Ross Geller : Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk... Russell : I'm sorry, is this the same Rachel who's name you said at the altar in the second marriage? Ross Geller : Yes-yes-yes! But, I-I do not love her. Russell : Oh, that's better then. Ross Geller : This was just a drunken mistake and I need to get it annulled. Russell : I see. Have you considered therapy? Ross Geller : I think just the annulment for today. Russell : There are a couple of forms to fill out. Ross Geller : Easy. Russell : And we'll need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind. Ross Geller : No problem. Russell : And we'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge. Ross Geller : Ooh! There's no way to do this without her? 'Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of. Russell : Of course you did. Look Ross, you can't get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there. Ross Geller : Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? I will think about the therapy. Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff. Rachel Green : Okay! Monica Geller : Y'know, no point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long process of you moving out and us not living together anymore. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, what about this? Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I don't know if I want it because it might be y'know, too many memories! Rachel Green : What the hell is that? Monica Geller : I don't know. Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate. Rachel Green : Wow! Mon, thanks! I love this plate! Monica Geller : Something to remember me by! Rachel Green : Mon, honey you're not dying. I'm just moving out. Y'know, I mean we're gonna see each other all the time. Monica Geller : But still, it's a big change. The end of an era, you might say! Rachel Green : Are you okay? You're not blinking. Monica Geller : I'm fine! I just, I'm thinking how much it's an end of era. Rachel Green : Oh, all right. But y'know I gotta say, I don't, I don't think six years counts as an era. Monica Geller : An era is defined as a significant period of time. Now, it was significant to me, maybe it wasn't significant to you! Rachel Green : What is the matter with you?! Monica Geller : What is the matter with you?!! Why aren't you more upset?! Aren't you gonna be sad that we're not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean aren't you gonna miss me at all?! Rachel Green : All right, fine, but don't get mad at me. It's-it's just a little hard to believe. Monica Geller : What's hard to believe? Rachel Green : Well y'know, it's you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Y'know? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess I'm not upset because I don't see you guys going through with it. I'm sorry. Monica Geller : Rachel, it's going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here. Rachel Green : But I... Monica Geller : No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isn't something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen. Rachel Green : It is? Really? Monica Geller : Yeah, sweetie. Rachel Green : I mean we're not, we're not gonna live together anymore? Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : What? Oh my God! I'm gonna miss you so much! Monica Geller : I'm gonna miss you! Rachel Green : I mean it's the end of an era! Monica Geller : I know! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye! Ross Geller : Oh no. Phoebe Buffay : So? Did you get the annulment? Ross Geller : I couldn't. Phoebe Buffay : I knew it! Because you love Rachel. Ross Geller : It's not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, complicated 'cause of the love. Ross Geller : I... I do, I do not love Rachel. I'm gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her? Phoebe Buffay : I've never been more convinced of your love for her. Ross Geller : I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! Ross Geller : Ohh, what's wrong?! Rachel Green : Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing. Ross Geller : Oh my-Come here! Come here! It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Rachel Green : Thank you. Ross Geller : Of course. Joey Tribbiani : So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up? Phoebe Buffay : Oh we do, but not just yet. Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Well, when? Phoebe Buffay : Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it won't work out. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Then, I'm gonna marry Chandler for the money and you'll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Phoebe Buffay : But then we ditch those two and that's when we get married. We'll have Chandler's money and Rachel's kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachel's drinking problem. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh, what about Ross? Phoebe Buffay : I don't want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! What are yo-you trying to kill me?! Rachel Green : Pheebs, I wanna ask you something. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, what? Rachel Green : Well since I'm movin' out and-and you're so beautiful... Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Rachel Green : ...how about I move in with you? Phoebe Buffay : Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise? Monica Geller : Who's Denise? Phoebe Buffay : My roommate. Rachel Green : You have a roommate?! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, Denise. Denise! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute? Chandler Bing : Pheebs, I don't understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin' uh, I'm gonna have an extra room over at my place... Rachel Green : Oh, that's true. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, why don't you move in with me? It'll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursday's right? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah I think I'm gonna find my own place. Chandler Bing : Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursday's was just our thing man! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her? Ross Geller : Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well. Phoebe Buffay : You didn't tell her did you? Ross Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Of course not, because you're in love with her. Ross Geller : I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didn't tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend. Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean, comforted her? Ross Geller : It's nothing, I just gave her a hug. Phoebe Buffay : Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug! Ross Geller : It's also a sign of friendship. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. Ross Geller : It was a hug! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair? Ross Geller : S-s-smell her hair? What if I did? Phoebe Buffay : Ninety percent of a women's pheromones come out the top of her head! That's why, that's why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! Oh come on Ross, you're a scientist. Ross Geller : I was hugging her as a friend. It's not my fault her-her hair got in my face, she's got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh...coconutty. What?! Oh, that doesn't mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachel's not in the same place you are. Ross Geller : If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I didn't understand that, but y'know, maybe that's 'cause you were speaking the secret language of love! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Dude, some guy just called for you. Chandler Bing : Who was it? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez! Monica Geller : Okay listen, y'know when you move in Rachel's room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it? Chandler Bing : Sure! Monica Geller : Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really haven't thought about it that much. Chandler Bing : Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, y'know? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones! Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Let's discuss it before we reject it completely." Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no. Chandler Bing : So, that's it? Monica Geller : I just don't think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques. Chandler Bing : Which is why Asteroids is perfect! It's the oldest game! Monica Geller : What do you have against the beautiful guest room? Chandler Bing : I don't have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away! Monica Geller : Are you mocking me? Chandler Bing : No, I'm not mocking you, or you beautiful guest room. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's up? Chandler Bing : Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight. Joey Tribbiani : But you're still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. Chandler Bing : "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? I just figured y'know, after living with you it'd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, y'know? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone who's different than me. And what's more different than me; a guy who's not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? Not just a hat rack my friend! Rachel Green : Pheebs, I have to ask you... Phoebe Buffay : Shhhhhh! I'm swamped right now. Rachel Green : You're just staring into space. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I'm trying to move that pencil. Rachel Green : This one? Phoebe Buffay : It worked! Rachel Green : Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." It's just, there is nothing! The city's full! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, no, look at this! "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay..." Oh, yeah, but it's on the ground floor. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Rach, uh, you still looking for a place? Rachel Green : Yeah! Why? Ross Geller : Okay, there's this guy, Warren, from the museum and he's going on a dig for like two years and he's got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested? Rachel Green : That sounds great! I'd love to live at Warren's!! I love Warren! Thank you! Ross Geller : Don't thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. Here's Warren's number. Rachel Green : Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! Oh, thank you! Ross Geller : Okay, you go grab it! Phoebe Buffay : I saw it. Ross Geller : I don't know what you're talking about. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I'm talking about that which you already know but won't admit. You love her again; you re-love her! Ross Geller : Look, I do not re-love her. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you won't just admit it! Okay, just promise me that you won't do anything stupid. Ross Geller : Look, we're just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid? Rachel Green : Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. I'm never gonna find anything. Ross Geller : You can live with me. Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Are you serious?! Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Rachel Green : I would love to live with you Ross; that's-that's great! Thank you! Ross Geller : Well, I'm-I'm just glad I could, y'know, help you out. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I'm-I'm so happy for you guys. This is so-so, not stupid. Rachel Green : Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! You're my hero! Ross Geller : Hero, I uh, I don't know-well, all right. Rachel Green : Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! Ross Geller : Oh please! You're gonna say things now, aren't ya? Phoebe Buffay : No. No, I won't. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didn't love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And that's how she ended up living with me! Okay, that's a lie. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi, listen, I'm sorry about before. I don't need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldn't get girls, and now I can 'em-Now, I have you. Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women... Monica Geller : Stop it Chandler. I'm sorry too. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah! Oh yes! Chandler Bing : Ohh. Monica Geller : Listen, we don't have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together. Chandler Bing : That's a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room. Monica Geller : Totally! Chandler Bing : We don't have to come up with this now. Monica Geller : Oh good. Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what? Why don't we think about changes we can make in the living room? Monica Geller : Changes? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean we're gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. Monica Geller : You're-you're-you're gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here? Chandler Bing : Is that a problem? Monica Geller : Well, it's a set and they should probably stay together. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's cool. Then I'll just bring them both over. Monica Geller : See now-now you're taking them away from their home. Chandler Bing : Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! I'll get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work! Monica Geller : Yeah-yeah, y'know what? Yeah, that's it-that's it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! That's-that's what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! I'm talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesn't match! Where is it gonna go?! Chandler Bing : In the game room! Monica Geller : Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly! Chandler Bing : All right! That's fine! That's fine! I won't bring over the chairs! I won't bring anything over! I wouldn't want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandma's place!! Joey Tribbiani : Everything on your application looks really good-Ohh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out? The Potential Roommate : Oh don't worry, I'm not really a party girl. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa!! Now look, don't be just blurtin' stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay? Chandler Bing : You can call off the roommate search! Hi! I'll be living here. Joey Tribbiani : Oh don't listen to him, he's just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I don't think he's gonna get it. Chandler Bing : Why did you take the shower curtain down? Joey Tribbiani : That thing was a hazard! I'm very safety conscious. Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff. Rachel Green : Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monica's and she and Chandler had a big fight and they're not moving in. Ross Geller : What do you mean, they're not moving in? They-they're still moving in right? Rachel Green : No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room. Ross Geller : What?! Over a stupid room! Rachel Green : Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but I'm also really psyched 'cause I don't have to move in here! Ross Geller : Oh no, yeah no, that part's great! Ross Geller : What's all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly! Monica Geller : Ross, we can handle this. Ross Geller : Well, apparently not, and I can't just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness! Chandler Bing : Well, why don't you tell her to stop being silly! Ross Geller : Okay-okay! Two very good points, look I've known you both a long time, and I've never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as you've been since you've got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness? Chandler Bing : Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love. Monica Geller : Love is the best medicine. Chandler Bing : That's laughter. Monica Geller : Why do you do it? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Ross Geller : Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica, right? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I do. Ross Geller : And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, don't ya? Monica Geller : Yes. Ross Geller : Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! Gunther : So I understand you're looking for a place. Rachel Green : No-no, I'm staying put. Gunther : Oh, I was going to offer you my apartment. Rachel Green : Why, where are you going? Gunther : I don't know. Ross Geller : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : You're never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. That's great news right-I mean for them. Right? Rachel Green : Oh wow. Ross Geller : Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again. Rachel Green : Yeah. Y'know umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but don't you think it's gonna be weird? Ross Geller : Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird? Rachel Green : Well, because of us! Because of our history. Ross Geller : No! Rachel Green : No? Ross Geller : No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place? Rachel Green : No! Not at all! Ross Geller : Good! Me neither! So it's not a problem. We're just two friends who happen to be roommates. Rachel Green : Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating. Ross Geller : Really?! We are? Rachel Green : Yeah! I'm gonna have a boyfriend, you're gonna have a girlfriend... Ross Geller : Ohh! That would be great. Rachel Green : But y'know what, if you think it's gonna be okay we'll just work out a system. Y'know, it'll be like college, I'll hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, I'm gettin' lucky." Ross Geller : Yeah, I didn't think of that. Ross Geller : So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean it's a really big step! And-and what's the rush?! Monica Geller : That's very funny! Chandler Bing : He's being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness! Ross Geller : No, I-I-I'm serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing y'know you break up! Monica Geller : Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room. Ross Geller : Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isn't about the room, this is about what the room...represents! And unfortunately, this room could destroy you!! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm not so worried. Monica Geller : Yeah, no, me neither. Ross Geller : Fine! It's your life! I just don't want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, but that's what you want, there's nothing I can do. DON'T DO IT!!!!! Monica Geller : You still want to move in together right? Chandler Bing : Of course! Monica Geller : Ross didn't scare you? Chandler Bing : Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him. Monica Geller : Come here, I want to show you something! Chandler Bing : Okay! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Someone's killed Square Man! Monica Geller : This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and it's still walking distance to the kitchen. Chandler Bing : Oh that's so sweet! I want to show you something too! Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Y'know those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?" Monica Geller : Uh-hmm. Chandler Bing : Y'know? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, that's you and I together! Merge! Monica Geller : Oh my God! I love that! Chandler Bing : Really?! Monica Geller : Uh, no!! Phoebe Buffay : I found you in my bed! How'd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair............ Phoebe Buffay : Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer. Ross Geller : So umm, where are the other guys? Rachel Green : Umm, well let's see Monica and Chandler are occupied. Ross Geller : Fighting?! Rachel Green : No, the other thing. I really think it's great they work things out. Ross Geller : Yeah. There's no breaking them up, is there? Rachel Green : Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy? Ross Geller : Sure! Here. Rachel Green : Thank you. Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, there's no turning back. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm-I'm sure. Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea? Ross Geller : I've been back and forth. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it you're right where you don't want to be! Back together! Ross Geller : Ehh, I don't, I don't think so. She's already talked about y'know, dating other guys. Joey Tribbiani : That's not gonna work out! Then she's gonna come home all weepy and you'll be tellin' her, "Oh that's okay. You'll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you! Ross Geller : Yeah, well, m-maybe you're right. Joey Tribbiani : I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want? Ross Geller : Is that what I want? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Here she comes. Hold on, I'm gonna make your life much easier. Rachel Green : All right, well the place was closed. I'll just copy it later. Joey Tribbiani : Or not. Uh, Rach, why don't you just move in with me? Ross Geller : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey! Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no... It's okay, I mean I-look Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursday's thing, but we don't have to do that! Rachel Green : Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless you're thinking about Naked Wednesday's. Joey Tribbiani : Thursday's clearly not good for ya, pick a day! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! The Potential Roommate : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Come in. Thanks for comin' back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists! The Potential Roommate : Great! Joey Tribbiani : Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, I'm gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind. The Potential Roommate : I can do that. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Here we go. Pillow. The Potential Roommate : Fight. Joey Tribbiani : Very good! Okay. G. The Potential Roommate : String? Joey Tribbiani : Excellent! Okay umm, doggy. The Potential Roommate : Kitten? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, but-bye-bye! Rachel Green : So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine? Monica Geller : This bottle opener. Rachel Green : And? Monica Geller : And it's a magnet! Rachel Green : Look at that! Ross Geller : How weird is that? Y'know? You're moving in with me and have the one thing I don't have. It's like uh, in a way you-you complete me kitchen. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : You complete me kitchen, matey! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, I know what you're thinking. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : That she's gonna move in with you and maybe then she'll fall in love with you and then when she finds out you're already married, she'll just be happy. Y'know? You're just, you're very sad. Ross Geller : Oh...my...God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel! Phoebe Buffay : What?!! Ross Geller : Of course! It all adds up! I mean you you're obsessed with her. It's always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her! Phoebe Buffay : No! Ross Geller : Uh-oh, saved by the bell. Hello? Monica Geller : Hey Rach, aren't these candlesticks mine? Rachel Green : No-no, I bought those. Monica Geller : Ohh! Yeah, I forgot. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : That you're a liar. Ross Geller : No-no-no, that's great! I'll be there Monday. And thank you again! Okay. Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U! Monica Geller : Wow! Uh what, did he uh, say? Ross Geller : Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it. Rachel Green : Well, who wouldn't?! Ross Geller : I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean it's temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller." Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, Professor and Mrs. Rachel Green : And Mrs.?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Yeah, y'know you and Ross are still married. Rachel Green : What?!! Phoebe Buffay : Just kidding! Rachel Green : Ohh! Oh God! Phoebe Buffay : Saved your ass. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Oh, what's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Well, you know that psychic I see? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Well, she told me that I'm gonna die this week, so I'm kinda bummed about that. Chandler Bing : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and I know you guys don't know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get. Monica Geller : Phoebe that's crazy! Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe she would say that too you. Rachel Green : Yeah honey you don't believe her do you? Phoebe Buffay : I don't-she said y'know that I'd have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black. Chandler Bing : Just out of curiosity did she tell you how you're gonna go? Phoebe Buffay : No, 'cause she didn't tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean I've only got a week left, y'know? I've really gotta start living now! , leans back, and starts reading.) Ross Geller : Hey everyone! Chandler Bing : Oh hi! Ross Geller : Hey uh, well, today's my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind? #ALL# : Oh that'd be great. Sure! Ross Geller : "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct..." Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is it. This what's gonna kill me. Ross Geller : "...subcategories. The first of these subcategories is..." Joey Tribbiani : Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper? Ross Geller : No! Why? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I've just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didn't have naked chicks on it. Ross Geller : Ohh! Okay! Okay. "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into..." Chandler Bing : Why don't you open with a joke? Ross Geller : Open with a joke? It's a university, not a comedy club! Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, hold the phone! You're not talking about Chuckles University?! Ross Geller : Okay! #ALL# : Ohh! We're kidding! Oh, we're kidding! Rachel Green : Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring? Ross Geller : Thank you! Rachel Green : Some uh, some visual aides. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ooh-ooh! Y'know what's a good visual aide? Ross Geller : Please don't say naked chicks. Joey Tribbiani : Why not?! Ross Geller : I-I-I don't even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Y'know what? I'm just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks. Chandler Bing : That's the way I did it 'til I was 19. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Any good mail? Chandler Bing : Yes, you got something from the Screen Actor's Guild. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, it's probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, I'm kinda.... Chandler Bing : "Benefits lapsed." Joey Tribbiani : Hmm that's weird. I don't remember being in a move called benefits lapsed. Chandler Bing : Okay, it's not a check. They're saying your health insurance expired because, you didn't work enough last year. Joey Tribbiani : Let me see that! Chandler Bing : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I can't believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, y'know? And it wouldn't matter. Now I gotta be careful?! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry man, there's never a good time to stop catching on fire. Joey Tribbiani : All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. I'm gonna go see my agent. Chandler Bing : Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street. Joey Tribbiani : ...look both ways before you cross the street. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs, you're still alive! How are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, it's so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could- Rachel Green : Pheebs, what-what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I was preparing you for my-didn't you think I was dead? Did that not come off? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought we'd lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, y'know if you can. Rachel Green : Monica! Monica Geller : Hmm? Rachel Green : Did-did you take these back? Monica Geller : No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, they're really great! Aren't they? Monica Geller : I loved them! Rachel Green : Yeah. Nice try! Ross Geller : Hello! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : How'd the lecture go? Ross Geller : It went great! And I didn't need any jokes or naked chicks either! Rachel Green : Wow, that's great Ross, I'm sorry we weren't more supportive before. Ross Geller : I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyone's all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong! And now, I'm gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler. Monica Geller : That you're not funny or sexy? Ross Geller : That's right! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Estelle, listen... Estelle Leonard : Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle! Joey Tribbiani : What are you talkin' about? I never left you! You've always been my agent! Estelle Leonard : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Estelle Leonard : Oh well, no harm, no foul. Joey Tribbiani : Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I-I lost my health insurance. Estelle Leonard : All right, first thing we gotta do, damage control. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Estelle Leonard : Well, I think uhh, someone out there may have been bad mouthing you all over town. Joey Tribbiani : Bastard! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and I'll have my health insurance back in no time. Chandler Bing : That's great, but shouldn't you be on the toilet right now? Joey Tribbiani : What?! Chandler Bing : What's wrong with you? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, haven't been able to stand up since. But um, I don't think it's anything serious. Chandler Bing : This sounds like a hernia. You have to-you-you go to the doctor! Joey Tribbiani : No way! 'Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! Chandler Bing : That's a hernia. Joey Tribbiani : Why did I have to start working out again? Damn you 15s! Rachel Green : Well, we're a little early, the lecture doesn't end for 15 minutes. Monica Geller : Yeah, but y'know we could sneak in and watch. Rachel Green : Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! There's some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. Hey sisters! Wow, we really are bitches. Ross Geller : Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when- Oh bloody hell. Monica Geller : What the hell are you doing?! Ross Geller : Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out. Rachel Green : Yeah, and not a very good one. Ross Geller : Will you-will you please? The Professor : Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, I'm a professor in the paleontology department here. Ross Geller : Oh. The Professor : Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I've got plans with my sister. Monica Geller : Monica Gellerrr. Ross Geller : Right, will you excuse us for one moment? What are you doing? Monica Geller : Oh, you can have an accent and I can't?! Top 'O the morning to ya laddies! Ross Geller : Just please stop! Rachel Green : Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time of year. Chandler Bing : Hey, will you grab me a cruller? Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides it's getting darker and more painful, that means it's healing. Chandler Bing : I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and let's just get that thing...pushed back in. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I don't want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, I'm thinking I'll probably start with that laser eye surgery too. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : What's going on? Chandler Bing : Oh Joey's got a really bad hernia, but that's nothing a little laser eye surgery won't fix! Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'm telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here it doesn't hurt that bad. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Maybe you'll die! Joey Tribbiani : Sure, now I'm scared. Phoebe Buffay : No, we can go together! Just don't wait too long though, okay? 'Cause I'm outta here sometime before Friday. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but I don't wanna die! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, it'll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys! Monica Geller : Gimme 'em! Rachel Green : No! They are mine! Monica Geller : You stole them from me! Rachel Green : You stole them from me!! Monica Geller : Gimme them! Monica Geller : You just wanna each take one? Rachel Green : Yeah that seems fair. We never use them. Ross Geller : Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do? Rachel Green : Well... Monica Geller : Why don't you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think you're, y'know, that you're adjusting to life in America. Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean they're probably not even listening! Ross Geller : They're not listening too me? Rachel Green : Of course they're listening to you! Everybody listens to you. Ross Geller : Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing? Monica Geller : I think you look fine. Casting Director #1 : Whenever you're ready. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. "Hey, Timmy, I've got a surprise for you." Casting Director #1 : Hold it. I'm sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less...intense? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sure, no problem, I'll just-hold on one second. "Hey Timmy, I've got a surprise for you!" Casting Director #1 : Oh my God!! Joey Tribbiani : So that's why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! Casting Director #2 : That's where you pick up the bag. Joey Tribbiani : Exactly. Casting Director #2 : No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag. Joey Tribbiani : Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. I didn't get it, did I? Casting Director #2 : No. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. I'm Joey Tribbiani; I'm here to audition for man. Casting Director #3 : You mean dying man? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Monica Geller : Okay, come on, do it one more time! Rachel Green : Really? Really?! Monica Geller : Yes! Rachel Green : Okay! "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, we'd like you to come on board with us full time! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Listen to this! My reading was wrong, I'm not going die! Rachel Green : Really?! How do you know? Phoebe Buffay : Because my psychic is dead! She must've read the cards wrong! Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Eh, better her than me! Hey, let's bake cookies! Chandler Bing : Listen, I'm really glad you got the part. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Chandler Bing : But are you sure you can do this? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for helping me take a shower. Chandler Bing : Now, is that never talking about it again?! Joey Tribbiani : Hiya! The Director : Hey Joey, we're ready for ya! Joey, this is Alex he's going to be playing your son. Joey Tribbiani : Hi Alex! And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. The Director : Okay. All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," that's your cue to cry. Got it? All right, let's do this. A Crew Member : Scene 5, take 1. The Director : And Action! Joey Tribbiani : "Take could care of your Momma son." "Take could care of your Momma son." "Come on son! Your Momma's good people!" The Director : Cut! Alex, remember you're supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time? Alex : Okay. The Director : All right, from the top. A Crew Member : Scene 5, take 2. A Crew Member : Take 36 is up! The Director : All right! Let's try this again! You ready Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action? The Director : Uh sure. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. The Director : Action! Joey Tribbiani : "Take good care of your Momma son." The Director : Cut!!!!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why don't you uh, lift up your shirt? Take a look at this kiddo. We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras! Rachel Green : Hello? Russell : Hello, is Ross there? Rachel Green : Uh no, he's not. Can I take a message? Russell : Yes, this Russell, Ross's divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I haven't heard from him, I assume he's decided to give the marriage a try. Rachel Green : Ross got married again-Nooooooo!!!!!!!!! Ross Geller : All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory the team would never have identified the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis . Were there any questions at this point? Yes. A Student : What's happening to your accent? Ross Geller : Come again? What's-what's this nonsense? All right, I'm-I'm not English. I'm from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. I'm sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? About paleontology. All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because I'm-I'm hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression... Rachel Green : Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!! Ross Geller : Well, hello Rachel! Phoebe Buffay : Have you really done this before? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, don't hold back. and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.) Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey! Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : We're just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back. Chandler Bing : Oh, all right. Rachel Green : I cannot believe that you didn't tell me that we are still married!! Ross Geller : Look I was going to tell you! Rachel Green : When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! Ross didn't get the annulment; we are still married. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : You're kidding! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! Monica Geller : Ross! Ross Geller : Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision. But I just couldn't face another failed marriage. Chandler Bing : Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage? Ross Geller : Rach, come on, if you think about it, it's actually kinda funny. Okay, maybe it's best not to think about it. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is inexcusable. I am shocked to my very core! Ross Geller : Phoebe, I told her you already knew. Phoebe Buffay : Another lie. You have a sickness! Chandler Bing : Ross, just for my own piece of mind, you're not married to anymore of us are ya? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. Ooohh, to a Porsche! Hey Gunther, these yours? Gunther : Yeah, that's what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved up for 350 years! Joey Tribbiani : Na-uh! Hey did anybody lose their keys? Monica Geller : Joey, why don't you put them in the lost and found? Joey Tribbiani : There's a lost and found? My shoe! Chandler Bing : You left a shoe here?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I didn't realize until I got home. I wasn't gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Y'know what? I'm gonna go find that guy's car and leave a note on the windshield. Chandler Bing : Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, I'll be sure to give him your shoe. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?! Monica Geller : Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great! Chandler Bing : Yeah, all right. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well I'll bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, they're not actually puppies, they're Frank and Alice's triplets. Okay, see ya! Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa! What? Phoebe Buffay : Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and I'm nervous 'cause I've never done that before by myself! Monica Geller : Don't worry about it Phoebe, we'll absolutely do it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm gonna pass. 'Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies. Monica Geller : Come on Chandler, come on! It'll give us great practice for when--people with babies come to visit. Guy #1 : Nice car! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's not mine. Woman : I love your car. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's mine. Woman : I bet it's fast. Joey Tribbiani : Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats? Woman : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : It's got 'em! Rachel Green : So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Ross's, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now. Phoebe Buffay : What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I don't have a roommate. Rachel Green : Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe you could be my roommate! Rachel Green : Well there's an idea!! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, she said she'd be back December 26th. Rachel Green : December 26th, huh maybe she's Santa Clause. Rachel Green : Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye. Ross Geller : Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. I'll take care of everything. Rachel Green : Well sure, if you say you're gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! All right, now I'm gonna do this my way and I don't want to hear a peep out of you! Ross Geller : Okay Rach, but... Rachel Green : Op! You're peeping! Rachel Green : Ross! Y'know what, I just got-why? Why did you do this?! Ross Geller : Look I told you... Rachel Green : I don't wanna hear "Three failed marriages!" Ross Geller : Look, if you'd had two failed marriages, you'd understand! Rachel Green : Well, y'know what? Thanks to you I'm half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I don't think I have ever been this angry! Ross Geller : What about the time I said we were on a break? Rachel Green : Ugh! Monica Geller : Pheebs, how's it going? Phoebe Buffay : I'm doing okay. I think it's going well. Do you think they're having fun? Am I talking to fast? Monica Geller : Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, it's going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler. Chandler Bing : Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. Do you know what Pheebs? When you're done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. Phoebe Buffay : Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies. Chandler Bing : See that's where I think that you're wrong. We've been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense. Monica Geller : What do you mean? Chandler Bing : I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And y'know Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around... Phoebe Buffay : That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping. Chandler Bing : Okay, I'm a rookie. I should not be in the end zone. Monica Geller : This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Well this is not what I ordered. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey babies! Oh, I'm having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche I've got the keys too, still there! Chandler Bing : Shocking! Since you still have the keys. Joey Tribbiani : You should see the treatment I get when I'm with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments. Chandler Bing : What equity investments? Joey Tribbiani : The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, they're gonna start to think that I don't own it. So I figured I'll wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound. Chandler Bing : You don't even have a car! Monica Geller : I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it. Chandler Bing : And? Monica Geller : And six others. Chandler Bing : There you are. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she tops out at 130. Guy #2 : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : And that's just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate. Guy #2 : Really! You got a place upstate? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! Guy #2 : Well, I'll see you later. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, take it easy. The Porsche Owner : Hey! That's my car. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it. The Porsche Owner : What-what are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now I'm just polishing her up. The Porsche Owner : But it's my car! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but it's my wax. The Porsche Owner : Listen, I-I-I don't come to this city much so I don't know if you're crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Here. I'll uh, save your parking spot. The Porsche Owner : I'm not coming back. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? The Porsche Owner : I live upstate. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so did I. Phoebe Buffay : I don't know why I was so nervous about this. And I don't know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy. Monica Geller : Yeah, two hours, a lifetime that's the same. Chandler Bing : Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! Monica Geller : Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someone's eye out! Chandler Bing : He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe! Phoebe Buffay : No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, that's just gonna mess them up. Chandler Bing : They're not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Chandler Bing : Glass, sand, whatever. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep. Monica Geller : Oh it's so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I can still do that. Monica Geller : How are you still single?! Chandler Bing : All right. I thought about it and maybe you're right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy. Monica Geller : Good. What made you change your mind? Chandler Bing : I swallowed the sonic blaster gun. Phoebe Buffay : How did that happen?!! Chandler Bing : Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Y'know? And it turns out I was wrong. And now it's lodged in my throat. Monica Geller : Damnit! Y'know this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! Judge : Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment? Rachel Green : Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out. Judge : So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable. Ross Geller : Fine, I'm mentally unstable. Judge : And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Uh yes, heroin and crack. Ross Geller : Crack isn't even an intravenous drug! Rachel Green : Well, you would know. Judge : Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage? Ross Geller : Oh, come on! Rachel Green : Ross, please, I found the magazines! Judge : And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin. Ross Geller : Okay, I'm sorry, this is insane! I-I-I'm not addicted to heroin, I'm not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, I'll consummate this marriage right here, right now! Judge : That won't be necessary. Ross Geller : And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies! Rachel Green : Ugh! Judge : Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem. Rachel Green : Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record? Judge : Is there, anything in this record that is actually true? Rachel Green : Well, yes, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names I think. Judge : Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly don't qualify for an annulment. If you two don't want to be together you'll have to file for divorce. Ross Geller : That's great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form! Rachel Green : What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense! Ross Geller : And what--What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We don't get the annulment. Don't type that! What?! Stop typing! Hey! Stop typing! Stop typing! Stop typing!! Rachel Green : Okay, do you see, do you see what you're keeping me married too?! Judge : You need to get out of my chambers. Rachel Green : All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one! Ross Geller : Yeah! Judge : Would you like to spend the night in jail? Rachel Green : And thank you for your time. Joey Tribbiani : So the Porsche guy took his car back. Chandler Bing : But you found the keys to his clothes? Joey Tribbiani : No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche. Monica Geller : And people will think you own a Porsche because you're wearing the clothes? Joey Tribbiani : Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn't have the car! Right? Chandler Bing : That is true. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I've been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. Monica Geller : Joey, you know you don't actually have one. Joey Tribbiani : Come on! What are you doing?! I'm in character! Would you talk to her! Chandler Bing : Ahh, I think it just moved. It's really poking me. Monica Geller : All right, that's it, we're going to the emergency room. Phoebe Buffay : What?! No, you can't, you can't leave me here with them! We're baby-sitting! Monica Geller : The babies are asleep, I'm sure you'll be okay on your own for a while! Phoebe Buffay : But you-you can't leave me with them! We-we're a team! We're playing a zone! They're gonna triple team me! Monica Geller : He's got something plastic lodged in his throat, we've got to go to the hospital. Phoebe Buffay : But no, because a doctor won't be able to help him, it's just gonna y'know naturally pass through his system in like seven years. Chandler Bing : I think that's gum. Phoebe Buffay : I'm pretty sure it's gun. Chandler Bing : Okay, listen this really hurts. Let's go. Phoebe Buffay : A real man wouldn't just run to the hospital! No! What would, what would Krog do? Joey Tribbiani : Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche? Passerby : Maybe because you've got the keys? Joey Tribbiani : Porsche. Rachel Green : This is totally your fault! Ross Geller : My fault?! You threatened the judge! Rachel Green : Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporter's machine!! Ross Geller : That was the only way I could get him to stop typing! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! How are the Gellers? Rachel Green : Don't call us that! Ross Geller : The judge wouldn't let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! It's Porsche!! Phoebe Buffay : Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, I'm gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, I'll set you up with a clean one. Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? 'Cause let's face it, we're at Monica's. I broke it. All right. Well, that's just the way that goes. Okay, good. Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you can't answer. Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! Oh, you're a lot mischievous! Well, it'll dry. Okay, you sit with your brother and sister now-who aren't there! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : How do you feel? Chandler Bing : Well, let's just say that Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed 'em, bathed 'em, and put 'em to bed. Chandler Bing : And protected them from a tornado? Monica Geller : Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : I know, the babies are asleep. Monica Geller : Phoebe, what, what happened here?! Phoebe Buffay : I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself! Monica Geller : But my apartment! Chandler Bing : Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph. Monica Geller : But the mess! Chandler Bing : Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself. Monica Geller : You're right, you're right I shouldn't freak out. 'Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?! Chandler Bing : Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!! Rachel Green : Oh honey thank God you're home, I was getting worried. Ross Geller : I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, I've already signed everything and I put little 'X's where you need to sign. Rachel Green : Oh, little 'X's! Great! That makes up for everything! Ross Geller : Y'know, I-I-you've done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay? Rachel Green : Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one! Ross Geller : Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married! Rachel Green : Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you! Ross Geller : Yeah! Right! Ross Geller : You're right. That's very different. So let's, let's just sign the papers. All right? What? Rachel Green : Nothing. Ross Geller : Okay, can we just sign please? Rachel Green : Uh-hmm. Ross Geller : Congratulations. Rachel Green : Okay Ross, we're-wait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Well, y'know this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea. Ross Geller : Excuse me? Rachel Green : Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the night we were married? Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : And uh, yeah, I didn't really, I didn't want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess. Ross Geller : So then if-if-I mean if you think about it, this is all your fault. Rachel Green : Yeah, don't push it though. Ross Geller : I've got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you. Rachel Green : I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldn't be a secret, and we wouldn't have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. Ross Geller : Did I, did I even treat? Rachel Green : No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special. Ross Geller : That may be the most depressing thing I've heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyer's office. Rachel Green : Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this. Ross Geller : Eh, no problem. Rachel Green : I'm gonna need a copy of those. Ross Geller : Totally. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche! Woman : Hi Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How you doin'? Woman : He has the most amazing Porsche under there! Joey Tribbiani : I'd love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping. Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? Chandler Bing : Okay! Listen, I'm gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent. Joey Tribbiani : Right! And when is that due? Chandler Bing : First of the month. Joey Tribbiani : And that's every month? Chandler Bing : No, just the months you actually want to live here. Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh. Chandler Bing : Okay, here is the phone bill. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God!! Chandler Bing : That's our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why don't I just-why don't I just cover you for a while? Joey Tribbiani : No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity...anymore. Chandler Bing : It's not charity, Joe... Joey Tribbiani : No! Forget it! Okay-I mean thanks, but I'm done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, what's next? Come on. Chandler Bing : Okay uh, here's the electric bill. Joey Tribbiani : This is how much we pay for electric?!!! Chandler Bing : Uh, yeah. Chandler Bing : So, we'll do the rest of the bills later then? Phoebe Buffay : So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment? Chandler Bing : No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldn't take it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, how much do you think he needs? Chandler Bing : I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, y'know? But I have to trick him into taking it so I won't hurt his pride. Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want. Chandler Bing : Well that would help the pride thing. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Wow! You look great! Wanna move in with me tomorrow? Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay! So, what do you girls have planned for tonight? Monica Geller : Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought we'd go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : And also, my birthday. Monica Geller : It's not your birthday. Phoebe Buffay : What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you it's not your birthday! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! So you guys have anything planned for the big last night? Chandler Bing : Well, instead of just hanging out, we figure we'd do nothing. Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I thought maybe you guys would come over and watch it. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know Ross, not if you're gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist. Ross Geller : I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist! Rachel Green : Pheebs, I was wondering... Monica Geller : You're not dressed yet?! We're supposed to start having fun in 15 minutes! Rachel Green : Well and clearly not a minute sooner. Monica Geller : Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me that you're packed. Rachel Green : Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight. Phoebe Buffay : My God, I can't get a minute of peace around this place. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica's just gonna kill you. Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah, I know. Phoebe Buffay : Well, what you're wearing is fine for that. Monica Geller : Rachel, I need to borrow-You're not packed!!!! You're not packed even a little bit! Rachel Green : Surprise!! Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : No, no don't get mad because look-this is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da! Monica Geller : I'll be coordinator! Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I didn't get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, can't you Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : I have plans. Monica Geller : You're plans were with us. Phoebe Buffay : That's right. Monica Geller : All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay! Oh my God, thank you!! Phoebe Buffay : Hurry! Monica's gonna make you pack! She's got jobs for everyone! Now, it's too late for me, but save your selves! Monica Geller : Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, we're gonna start with... Chandler Bing : Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey. Monica Geller : I thought you said you were going to do nothing. Chandler Bing : Yes, but for the last time. Monica Geller : Okay fine, now Ross... Ross Geller : Oh, but-but I can't do it. Monica Geller : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : I've got Ben. Ross Geller : Because, because I've got Ben. Monica Geller : It's almost 8 o'clock, it's almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he? Chandler Bing : He's at a dinner party. Monica Geller : Is he really coming? Because I can see right into your apartment! Ross Geller : Of course he is! What, do you think I'd just use my son as-as an excuse? What kind of father do you think I am? Monica Geller : All right, sorry. Ross Geller : I gotta go make a fake Ben. Joey Tribbiani : Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates. Chandler Bing : Oh, I wish I'd know you were going to do that, I ordered Chinese. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's okay. Hey, actually in a way it's kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours! Chandler Bing : Say, Joe, I had a strange idea of what we could do for our last night. What do you say we play a little uh, foosball for money? Joey Tribbiani : What, are you crazy? You haven't beaten me once since my injury plagued '97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money. Chandler Bing : Yes it would. What do you say to $50? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, you're on. Chandler Bing : Okay, let's play! The big game, Italy vs. China, apparently. Rachel Green : Ohhhhhh, look it's the roller blades. Monica Geller : Oh God! Rachel Green : You remember when we got these? Monica Geller : No. Rachel Green : I guess you weren't there. Phoebe Buffay : You guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time... You don't remember? Rachel Green : I'm sorry Pheebs, I guess I'm just really said that I'm leaving. Monica Geller : I'm gonna miss you so much. Phoebe Buffay : Well, this doesn't have to be so sad though. Y'know? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much you're gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things you're not gonna miss. Monica Geller : I don't think there's anything. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, there's gotta be something. Monica Geller : Nope, she's perfect. Rachel Green : I have one. Phoebe Buffay : Good! Great! You can go first. Rachel Green : Uh well, I guess I'm not gonna miss the fact that you're never allowed to move the phone pen. Phoebe Buffay : Good that's a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Y'know? Does Rachel move the phone pen? Monica Geller : Aw, sometimes. Always, actually. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, good. There you go. Doesn't anyone feel better? Monica Geller : Not just the phone pen. I never get my messages. Rachel Green : You get your messages! Monica Geller : Yeah, well I don't think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch. Rachel Green : So-so, you missed a message from who? Chandler or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom? Phoebe Buffay : Great! It worked! No one's sad. Joey Tribbiani : Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! That's like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! $500 that is a loooot of electricity! Whoo-ho-ho! I gotta buy some food. Chandler Bing : Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000. Joey Tribbiani : You serious? Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, get ready to owe me! Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here we go. Ready? Chandler Bing : No! No! No! No--one can beat me. Chandler Bing : See? Now, that's why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking. Monica Geller : Hello? Oh, hi Ross! See? Other people call me! Rachel Green : Ooh, your brother. Score! Monica Geller : What's up? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm just over here with Ben. I thought we'd say hi. Monica Geller : Oh, put him on! Ross Geller : Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. Oh, I guess he doesn't feel like talking right now. He's smiling though! Okay, talk to you later. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades? Rachel Green : You know what else I'm not gonna miss? "I'm Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!" Monica Geller : "Hi I'm Rachel, is my sweater too tight? No? Oh, I'd better wash it and shrink it!" Rachel Green : "I'm Monica, I don't get phone messages from interesting people. Ever!" Phoebe Buffay : Hey! I call her! Monica Geller : "Oh my God, I love Ross! I hate Ross! I love Ross! I hate Ross!" Rachel Green : "Oh my God, I can't find a boyfriend! So I guess I'll just stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!" Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we should get a move on if we wanna make those dinner reservations. Chandler Bing : Still broken? Joey Tribbiani : This sucks man! The last night you're here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500. Chandler Bing : Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? Joey Tribbiani : Nah, not my game. Chandler Bing : Okay, uh, how about, how about-y'know what? We could play a new game. A new game, it's fun. Joey Tribbiani : Well, what's it called? Chandler Bing : Cups. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know how to play Cups. Chandler Bing : I'll teach ya! Come on, come on, it's really easy and really, really fun. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler Bing : Okay, here you go. I have two queens, what do you have? Joey Tribbiani : A two and a five. Chandler Bing : Ho-ho, you win! 50 dollars! Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Okay, let's play again. What do you got? Joey Tribbiani : A four and a nine. Chandler Bing : You're kidding right? Joey Tribbiani : No. Why? Chandler Bing : Well that's a full cup! Joey Tribbiani : Damn! I am good at Cups! Monica Geller : I'm not talking to her! Phoebe Buffay : Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because she's the one who's leaving. It's harder for her! Monica Geller : Well, maybe you're right-She made fun of my phone pen! Phoebe Buffay : I know, I took it hard too. Monica Geller : Listen Rachel, I feel really bad about-What are you doing? Rachel Green : I'm unpacking! Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : I'm not moving! Is that picture straight? Monica Geller : It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left! Rachel Green : Hey, y'know what? You're the one who wants to make this big change and move in with Chandler! You should be the one to go! Why should I have to leave?! Monica Geller : Because it's my apartment! Rachel Green : Well it's mine too! What else you got?! Monica Geller : How about, you're moving!! Rachel Green : Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, how are you guys doing? Rachel Green : Great! Monica's moving! Monica Geller : I am not! Rachel Green : Oh really?! Then how come all your stuff is in this box?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know what's going on here. Okay, you guys... STOP!! I know that, I know that you're acting mad because you think that it'll make it easier to leave. But deep down you're still really sad. Deep-deep down. Monica Geller : No Phoebe I am mad! Phoebe Buffay : Well, deep-deep-deep down! Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm just mad! Phoebe Buffay : Then keep running. Chandler Bing : You win. Joey Tribbiani : Well, what did you have? Chandler Bing : It doesn't matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, wow, 700. Chandler Bing : Not 700 exactly? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Double it! Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Well you see in Cups, once you get $700, you have to double it. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Chandler Bing : Hey, I didn't make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. Don't get to excited because that's not gonna happen unless you get-No way! Monica Geller : Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I'm just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?" Rachel Green : Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, I don't mean to make things worse, but umm, I don't want to live with Rachel anymore. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : You're just so mean to each other! And I don't want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you! Rachel Green : Well, Phoebe that's fine because I'm not moving. Monica Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y'know I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y'know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. Rachel Green : Oh really? Like what Monica? Monica Geller : Y'know she has 147,000 pairs of boots... Rachel Green : Oh yeah, good start Mon. Monica Geller : She lets you borrow them. Rachel Green : Yeah and you stretch 'em out with your big old clown feet. Monica Geller : Do you wanna live outside?! Because it's gettin' cold! She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she'll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I'd like. Phoebe Buffay : What else? Monica Geller : When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror. Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that. Phoebe Buffay : That's nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom. Monica Geller : When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket. Rachel Green : Well y'know, I don't want you to be cold. Monica Geller : And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! Rachel Green : Oh, it's gonna be fine. Phoebe Buffay : Okay Rachel, I can't wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! We'll have so much fun!! Rachel Green : But honey, I think she's moving in with Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's right. You're still set on that? Monica Geller : Kinda. Oh my God! Ross Geller : Hello? Hey Mon, how's the packing going? Ben? He's fine. Yeah, he's right-Oh my God! Get your head of your shirt there son! What? Yeah, it's a pumpkin. I'll come pack. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : What's wrong? Joey Tribbiani : Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups! Chandler Bing : Wh-How did you lose at Cups?! Joey Tribbiani : The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin' Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didn't even get half a cup! Nothin'!! Chandler Bing : Oh man!! Joey Tribbiani : And he never played before either! Y'know what I think? I think beginner's luck, very important in Cups. Chandler Bing : All right, let's play one more hand! One more! Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! I'm serious this time! In-in fact, look, there's a-I wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, y'know, thank you for being such a great roommate. Chandler Bing : I can't take the big white dog! You love it! Joey Tribbiani : It's him, not it! Chandler Bing : No, but wait-what if I bought it from you, y'know? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say $1,500? Joey Tribbiani : Wait a second, I see what you're trying to do here! You-you're trying to give me money again! Chandler Bing : When did I try to give you money? Joey Tribbiani : Over there! Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again! Chandler Bing : I'm just trying to help you out! Okay? I wanna make sure that you're okay. Joey Tribbiani : I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I can't take care of myself. Okay? Look, I'm not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that I'm gonna miss...is you. And now the dog. Monica Geller : Hey. Call me when you get there. Okay? Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : I'm really gonna miss you. Rachel Green : Oh! I have your key. Here you go. Monica Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh God! This is silly, I'm gonna see you in a couple of hours! Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Bye house! Rachel Green : Bye Mon. Monica Geller : Bye. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : She really left. Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : No problem roomie. Monica Geller : Can I ask you a question? Chandler Bing : Sure! Monica Geller : What the hell is that dog doing here?! Chandler Bing : I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money. Ross Geller : And now you want that money back. Chandler Bing : Exactly. Ross Geller : Chandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? Chandler Bing : It's not a real game! I made it up! Ross Geller : I'm sorry you lost your money, but I won it fair and square. Chandler Bing : At a fake game!! Ross Geller : Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, I'd be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups. Chandler Bing : Okay! Now I assume the Saucer card came up when you played last. Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Hmm, let's see if it comes up this time. Phoebe Buffay : Ready? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Hi... Phoebe Buffay : it's... Rachel Green : Rachel... Phoebe Buffay : and... Rachel Green : Phoebe's... Phoebe Buffay : please... Rachel Green : leave... Phoebe Buffay : leave... Rachel Green : Wait, I-I just said "leave." Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know because you have all the good words. What do I get? I get "it's," "and" oh I'm sorry, I have "A." Forget it. Rachel Green : Phoebe, come on that's silly. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so let's switch. Rachel Green : No, I have all of the good words. OK, fine, fine, we can switch. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hi... Rachel Green : Everybody... Phoebe Buffay : It's... Rachel Green : Rachel... Phoebe Buffay : and... Rachel Green : Phoebe's... Phoebe Buffay : Please...wait, how did you do that? Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you? Rachel Green : Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?! Phoebe Buffay : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first y'know roommate bonding thing. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, let's go running! Rachel Green : Yeah and there's really cute guys there. Phoebe Buffay : Let's run towards them! Rachel Green : OK! Phoebe Buffay : All right, wait just one more second. Hi, it's Phoebe and Rachel's. Please leave a message, thanks! Rachel Green : Now wait a minute. You just took all the words! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. You've met your match Rachel Green. Ross Geller : So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine. Chandler Bing : And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor! Chandler Bing : I didn't nail the boxes to the floor. Monica Geller : Oh, So you can move them! Chandler Bing : Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey everybody! Uh, I'd like you to meet Janine. She's-she's gonna be my new roommate! Janine Lecroix : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi! Janine Lecroix : Hi Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she's gonna live with me! Monica Geller : It's nice to meet you. Janine...? Janine Lecroix : Lecroix. Janine Lecroix Joey Tribbiani : I didn't know that! Well, what a pretty last name! Chandler Bing : So, uh, wh-where ya from? Janine Lecroix : Australia, I just moved here a couple of weeks ago. Joey Tribbiani : From the land down under? I didn't know that either! Ross Geller : So uh, wha-uh, what do you do? Janine Lecroix : I'm a dancer. Joey Tribbiani : You're a dancer? She-she's a dancer! Janine Lecroix : Well, I think I'll go and unpack. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey let me. Monica Geller : Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in? Joey Tribbiani : Of course I did. Monica Geller : Uh-huh, what exactly did you ask her? Joey Tribbiani : "When can you move in?" Ross Geller : Thank you for bringing her into our lives. Chandler Bing : Unbelievable Monica Geller : Oh, so you like her too Chandler? Chandler Bing : Hey, look at all the boxes! Joey Tribbiani : Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out! Monica Geller : Wait a minute...Joey. Joey you can't ask her out, she's your roommate. It-it'll be way too complicated. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her. Chandler Bing : All right, think about it. Now remember when you were going out with that girl Donna and you guys broke up. Remember how horrible it was when you guys bumped into each other at the supermarket? Joey Tribbiani : Oh God, yeah. Chandler Bing : Now imagine you live at the supermarket. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Chandler Bing : No-no Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Oh, you're right! I don't want that. I can't date her! Monica Geller : Yeah and you better watch the flirting too, cause you know, in such close quarters, it could be trouble. Joey Tribbiani : Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt. Monica Geller : Hmm, well you're around me all the time and you don't flirt. Joey Tribbiani : You a little sad about that sweetheart? Phoebe Buffay : I have to tie my shoe, so you go ahead, I'll catch up. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Come on! That's not running! Let's go! Rachel Green : You guys, I'm telling you, when she runs, she looks like a cross between Kermit The Frog and The Six Million Dollar Man. Ross Geller : Monica had such a crush on him. Yeah, she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed. Rachel Green : Oh! I used to do that too! Monica Geller : Did you also have his album, It's Not Easy Being Green? Rachel Green : Aw, Mon... Monica Geller : So, Phoebe runs weird huh? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her. Monica Geller : Why don't you just be straight with her? Tell her the truth. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : You're right, you're right. I should just tell her the truth. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Pheebs, Monica tripped me, I don't think I can ever run again, ever! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Why would you do that? Monica Geller : I don't know. Rachel I'm-I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles. Rachel Green : Ankle. Monica Geller : We'll see. Chandler Bing : OK, I'm officially unpacked. Thanks for helping me man. Joe? Well, I guess Joey went home. Oh and look, there's still one box that I have to unpack. Joey Tribbiani : I Gotcha!! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! You-almost-gave-me-a-heart-attack. Joey Tribbiani : Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great! Chandler Bing : Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monica's gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me? Joey Tribbiani : I don't! No, I wanna live with the super-hot Australian dancer. Chandler Bing : Yeah, now how's that going though? Are you okay with the not-flirting thing? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Well, so far yeah. But it's tough you know? I got all this built up flirting energy and I don't know how to get rid of it. How you doin? Joey Tribbiani : Ohhhh man Janine Lecroix : Sorry, there's just more room out here. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no, it's-it's uh, you just uh, uh reminded me that uh, I need to do my stretches too. Janine Lecroix : Why don't you try to do- Joey Tribbiani :  Janine Lecroix : What's wrong? Joey Tribbiani : Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. Oh my God! Janine Lecroix : Oh, sorry about that stuff hanging in there. It's just my thongs are too delicate for the dryer. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself. Rachel Green : No, no Phoebe no, I was...no. You know what, I was, I was actually just checking to, see, if I could run. And I can! Phoebe Buffay : Please Rachel, I am not an idiot. Rachel Green : No, wait Phoebe. Ross Geller : Wow, couples who live together do start to look alike. So, Mondler...uh, what uh, what 'cha doin? Chandler Bing : What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning! Ross Geller : Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff? Chandler Bing : Authorization? I don't need that. I'm gonna put everything back. Ross Geller : Put it back exactly where you found it? Chandler Bing : Yes I'm gonna put it back exactly where I found it. Ross Geller : 'Kay, first of all, this attitude is not helping. Chandler Bing : She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place. Ross Geller : Whoa, hello, did you just meet Monica? Chandler Bing : She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it. Ross Geller : Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me. Chandler Bing : I see, I see, y-y-you're trying to freak me out. Ross Geller : Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak...out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you. Chandler Bing : No, she's not okay? And I'll prove it to you. I'm gonna call her right now. Phone's done ehh. Monica Geller : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey Mon, how's it going? Monica Geller : Terrible. If-if I want something done right, I have to do it myself. Other people just wreck stuff. I really think I might kill someone tonight. Chandler Bing : Oh come on, come on, it can't be that bad. Monica Geller : It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early. Chandler Bing : No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there. Monica Geller : Well, are you just hanging out with Ross? Chandler Bing : It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! She's-she's gonna kill me. Ross Geller : Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. And that goes back up there. Chandler Bing : We should start with the big stuff. Y'know? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. I got it. Ross Geller : Yeah that-that, doesn't look right. Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the... OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table. Ross Geller : Whoa, whoa, but then the back of the couch won't line up with he back of the carpet. Chandler Bing : OK well here, we'll just move the coffee table closer to the couch. Ross Geller : Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area. Chandler Bing : Yes, but the coffee table doesn't match the...blahebdmsdlkhdyslkd;btyds...Rooosss!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! What the hell's going on over here?!?!? Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time. Ross Geller : Hey, I've been married 3 times Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret? Ross Geller : Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue. Chandler Bing : Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine? Ross Geller : Yeah, well what about you? You weren't you know, so hot in college either. After everything he said, he'd go "ba dum bum chessh" Chandler Bing : Yeah, Monica doesn't like that either, Maybe I should stop doing that. Ross Geller : Oh y'know what, girls don't like it when I start talking about science. Chandler Bing : That's not specific to girls. Joey Tribbiani : This is great, this is great, what else, what else? Ross Geller : Uh, they don't like it when you correct their grammar. Chandler Bing : And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny. Ross Geller : They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you. Chandler Bing : Man, I'm so lucky I have Monica. Ross Geller : I'm never gonna find love again. Rachel Green : Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Sure Rachel Green : Okay, um, I... All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you. Phoebe Buffay : So, what should you have done? Rachel Green : Well, I-I should've told you the truth. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-Huh, Which is...? Rachel Green : Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little... Phoebe Buffay : So? Rachel Green : Well, it's embarrassing. People were looking at us like we were crazy. Phoebe Buffay : Why do you care? Rachel Green : Because they're people. Phoebe Buffay : But people that you don't know and will never see again. Rachel Green : Yes, but still. They're people...with eyes. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss . But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight. Rachel Green : I-I am not uptight-Hey-hey-hey-oh-oh! Listen, I am not uptight, man. Phoebe Buffay : That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didn't you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? The neighbor's dog. Chandler Bing : Okay, is this lamp in the same place? Ross Geller : Who cares? I repel women. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!!! You can't come in here! R-r-r-r-Ross is naked. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked. Ross Geller : Why does anyone have to be naked? Monica Geller : Why is Ross naked? Ross Geller : I-I had to show Chandler something? Monica Geller : Naked? Ross Geller : Yeah-yeah I uh, I have a uh, a guy problem. Monica Geller : Is it the same thing that Chandler had? Chandler Bing : Look, uh, just come later, we'll get everything squared away and you can come back later. Monica Geller : Okay, listen, there's still some of Chandler's medicine under the sink in the bathroom. Bye! Chandler Bing : Bye! Thank God Ross Geller : Dude, what'd you have? Chandler Bing : Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place. Ross Geller : The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures. Chandler Bing : That's perfect! That's brilliant! Ross Geller : So really, what'd ya have? Janine Lecroix : Hey Joey, I got some beer for you. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, don't you mean "for whom?" Janine Lecroix : Sure, listen I was gonna order some pizza, you wanna share one? Joey Tribbiani : Pizza, heh, its not like I never had that before...ba dum bum cheshhh. Janine Lecroix : Is there something wrong? Joey Tribbiani : All right, All right, let's just get this out in the open okay? You're hot. I'm lovable. Clearly there's a vibe going on between us. But, we're roommates and it's a huge mistake for us to continue down this road. Janine Lecroix : Joey... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do? Janine Lecroix : Well, I don't think there is anything to do. I mean I think you're really sweet, but I'm just not interested in you like that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Janine Lecroix : No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on. Janine Lecroix : I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I do. How you doin? Janine Lecroix : I'm OK Joey Tribbiani : What?!?! Janine Lecroix : What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh dear God! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh honey, I'm so sorry, you were right, this feels great! Phoebe Buffay : See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone! Rachel Green : Gone! I mean its amazing Pheebs. I feel so free and so graceful. Hey! Look out for the horse! Sorry! Monica Geller : Is it okay for me to come in now? Chandler Bing : Uh-huh Monica Geller : Why is everything different? Ross Geller : Bye! Chandler Bing : No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. Monica Geller : Well, the end table is wrong, The couch looks bizarre and don't even get me started on the refrigerator magnets. Chandler Bing : Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Monica Geller : It's okay. Chandler, are you afraid of me or something? Chandler Bing : Do you want me to be afraid of you? Monica Geller : Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Of course! Chandler Bing : Oh well you're the best. You come here to me. Monica Geller : All right, hold on okay? First thing's first. Okay, now did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked? Ross Geller : So it said that by the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same number of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically we could download our thoughts and our memories into this computer... Janine Lecroix : ...and live forever as a machine! Ross Geller : That's so Janine, you-you-you know what, do you know we're doing right now? You and I, we're interfacing. Janine Lecroix : Yeah, I gotta go. Chandler Bing : Ba dum bumb cheshhh! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hi, my name's Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, neighbor come on in. Chandler Bing : So, is Janine around? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, no, she's at dance class. Chandler Bing : Can I check out what she did to my room? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but, hey look, don't go through her stuff. She gets really mad. Chandler Bing : Oh my God. What is th... it's like a guy never lived in here. Look, you've got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. It's spreading already. Joey Tribbiani : It is??? Chandler Bing : Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch? Joey Tribbiani : No. Chandler Bing : Is that your tiny little box, that's too small to put anything in? Joey Tribbiani : No. Chandler Bing : No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, you're going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you're right. I'll talk to her. Chandler Bing : Yes talk to her. Be a man. Joey Tribbiani : I'm a man. Chandler Bing : Defend yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Hmm. Monica Geller : Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle. Chandler Bing : Be right there sweetums. A totally different situation. Monica Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey, how was your breakfast with Hillary? Monica Geller : It was okay. She's still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend. Chandler Bing : Ohh, yeah. Ross Geller : Well, is this Hillary your HOT assistant chef Hillary? Monica Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : The one that always stares at me when I come in? Monica Geller : No, the one who looked at you once because you got in her way. Ross Geller : Still I could tell. She was into me. Well, why don't you set us up? Rachel Green : Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress? Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I'm, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdale's and use the copy machine. Rachel Green : Well, sure, but they might think it's kinda weird considering I don't work there anymore. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. What happened? Rachel Green : I-I, got a job at Ralph Lauren. Phoebe Buffay : Well that's great! Congratulations!! Rachel Green : Yeah. A year ago.. Phoebe Buffay : You've lasted a whole year. Good for you. Rachel Green : But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesn't see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesn't like me very much. Chandler Bing : That's weird. I don't think my boss likes me either. Monica Geller : I don't think mine likes me either. Ross Geller : Maybe it's a universal thing? Joey Tribbiani : Or maybe, it's because you're hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. Chandler Bing : Yeah let's head off to work. Monica Geller : We should go. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Rachel Green : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Now you will not believe this. But, I was in the copy room, making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Did you talk to him? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah a little. He seems really nice. Good kisser. Rachel Green : What? What!?! You kissed him? Phoebe Buffay : Totally. Rachel Green : Phoebe are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, we're making out. You know. Rachel Green : Phoebe, I mean, you do know he's married? Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel Green : Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if he's married? No, yeah, I should. Janine Lecroix : Hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something? Janine Lecroix : No, I just thought it was cute. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh...Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. It's...too girly. Janine Lecroix : Ohh. Like what? Joey Tribbiani : Like this. Pictures of cute babies we don't know. We..we can't have that. Janine Lecroix : Joey, it's Anne Geddes. She's a famous artist. Joey Tribbiani : Look I don't know this baby. I don't know if she's a famous artist or not. You know, and I don't want to be a jerk but you're changing too much around here. Janine Lecroix : Well, I'm sorry. I just thought I'd try to make the place a little nicer. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah but it's too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can. Janine Lecroix : Well I just thought... Joey Tribbiani : I'm sure it's a famous watering can, okay. But, come on...and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom? Janine Lecroix : It's a curling iron. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, well, that's ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. It's up here on some hook..and...smells different. Janine Lecroix : It's clean. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, well, it feels different. Janine Lecroix : It's dry. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels...Also what is with these chips you bought? Janine Lecroix : No no no no, it's potpourri. You're supposed to smell it. Joey Tribbiani : Well that's like summer in a bowl. Rachel Green : Oh, Kim, Hi. Kim : Uhh-huh. Rachel Green : So you know, I...I handed in that marketing report and I never got to hear what you thought. Kim : I didn't read it. Rachel Green : Ahh....So...Wow...The spring line, it's really going to be great this year, huh? Kim : Yeah. Rachel Green : So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. Kim : Tell me everything. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : What's up? Chandler Bing : You know...Oh My God. Monica Geller : What happened to your teeth. Ross Geller : I whitened them. Chandler Bing : Really. Ross Geller : Yeah. What do you think. Monica Geller : Well, I think I shouldn't look directly at them. Ross Geller : Come on, seriously. Monica Geller : Ross they're really, really, really white. Chandler Bing : Yeah, what was wrong with your old...human teeth. Ross Geller : Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to. Monica Geller : How much longer? Ross Geller : A-A day. Monica Geller : Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary? Ross Geller : I know. That's why I did it. Come on, are they really that bad? Chandler Bing : No, no no no. You'll be fine. Hillary's bind, right? Monica Geller : She will be after tonight. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, hey, hey Rach, do you notice anything..ahh... Rachel Green : Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Chandler Bing : What??? Monica Geller : Oh my god. Rachel Green : Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just...made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip she'd heard all year. Chandler Bing : I am proud of all my friends today. Monica Geller : My God, Rachel, I can't believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, I'm so jealous. Chandler Bing : Hi, I'm Chandler. Your live-in boy Monica Geller : Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. Chandler Bing : Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Here. Ohh, who's the silver fox? Rachel Green : That-that is your make out buddy. Don't you recognize him? Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please. Phoebe Buffay : That's not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no, Ralph doesn't look anything like that guy. He's-he's young and he's got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack. Rachel Green : Oh My God, Phoebe, that's not Ralph Lauren. That's Kenny the copy guy. Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren? Rachel Green : To get you to make out with him!!! Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Monica Geller : Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. Nope. Okay, colors that don't work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple. Ross Geller : I don't know what I'm going to do. That date starts in like an hour. Monica Geller : Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldn't look so bright. Ross Geller : Oh great. So all I need to do is get some new skin. Thank you. Monica Geller : I'm just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you. Ross Geller : Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. We're not 13 anymore. Monica Geller : Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working. Ross Geller : But, won't she notice I have makeup on? Monica Geller : Please. Half the guys out there have makeup on. Ross Geller : What?? Monica Geller : All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see. Ross Geller : No. I am not putting on makeup. Phoebe Buffay : Hello. Oh good. Ross could you put up some of these flyers for me? OH!! Demon!! Demon!! Monica Geller : Now are drawers will smell nice and we didn't waste these pantyhose. Chandler Bing : Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? I'm going to go over to Joey's. Monica Geller : Wait, we're supposed to organize the wrapping paper drawer. Chandler Bing : Yes, but I feel like I've really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think we're two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple. Monica Geller : You know what? This has been kind of a girlie day. You're right, I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Nah, Nah, it's okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing. Monica Geller : Yeah. Go over to Joey's. Go over to Joey's and drink some beer and hammer up some drywall. Chandler Bing : You know when guys hang out they don't just drink some beer and hammer up drywall? Monica Geller : When girls hang out, we don't have pillow fights in our underwear. I'm sorry. We do. We do. I don't know why I said that. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler. Come on in. We're knitting pot holders. Chandler Bing : No thanks, Josephine. Chandler Bing : Hey Ross, I was wondering if... Oh my God!! Where are all the men??? Rachel Green : Ohh, hi, Kim. Kim : Hi Rachel. Rachel Green : Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didn't happen. Kim : You didn't cancel the fabric order from Taiwan? Rachel Green : Okay, two things didn't happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out that's not true. Kim : That's not true? Rachel Green : No. Kim : Oh that's interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel. Rachel Green : Oh no, no, no. Oh God, you think I made out with him. Kim : Listen to me. If you think sleeping with Ralph is going to get you my job. You are sadly mistaken. Rachel Green : I-I don't want your job. I-I don't. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I don't even know how to use my keycard. Kim : Hi Ralph. Ralph Lauren : Hi Kim. Kim : Yeah, nothing happen. You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife. Hillary : And after that, what could I do except become a chef. Ross Geller : Mmm-Hmm. Hillary : And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant. Ross Geller : Mmm. Hillary : You know, you're a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk. Ross Geller : Mm-Hmm. Hillary : After a while it's like, shut your mouth, you know? Ross Geller : Hmm-Hmm. Hillary : I've probably been talking too much. Why don't we talk about you a little bit? Ross Geller : Mmm-Unmm. Hillary : Come on. I want to know. Ross Geller : Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, let's talk more about you. Hmm. Joey Tribbiani : So what's really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer. Monica Geller : Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip. Chandler Bing : Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers. Monica Geller : Okay. Oh but Joey, come over later because I'm going to teach you to make a bird feeder out of just a pine cone and some peanut butter. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, I love birds. Chandler Bing : What is the matter with you ?!? Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : You're arranging flowers! You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers they're just, you know, they're nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby. Chandler Bing : You're turning into a women. Joey Tribbiani : No I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean. Chandler Bing : Now I've upset you? What did I say? Joey Tribbiani : It's not what you said. It's the way you said it....Oh My God, I'm a woman!!! Rachel Green : Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job. Phoebe Buffay : But why didn't you just tell her the truth. Rachel Green : I did but she doesn't think anyone would be stupid enough to confuse Kenny the copy guy with Ralph Lauren. Phoebe Buffay : Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that? Rachel Green : You were with Kenny today, weren't you? Phoebe Buffay : Just for a second. Rachel Green : Ohh, Phoebe, what am I going to do? Phoebe Buffay : Well, the only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren. Rachel Green : I'm not going to sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldn't. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, sleep with Kenny. Rachel Green : That wouldn't help me. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, yes it would. Hillary : I've had a really good time tonight. Ross Geller : Mmm. Hillary : You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date. Ross Geller : Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. Me, neither. I've had a really good time too, you know. Hillary : Are you going to eat that bread? Ross Geller : Ohh, I just like the smell. Mmmm. Hillary : You make me laugh. Ross Geller : Hmm-Hmm. Hillary : Would you like to move over to the couch? Ross Geller : Mmm-Hmm. Hillary : Maybe I'll just turn the lights down a little. Ross Geller : How about all the way. Hillary : Okay. Ross Geller : Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? So, ahh, where were we? Hillary : Are those your teeth?? Ross Geller : Ohh, you can see them, huh? Hillary : Yes. They're insanely white. Ross Geller : I-I, did that for you. Hillary : What's a matter with you? Ross Geller : What's a matter with me? You've got a black light. It's 1999! Rachel Green : Kim, hi. Kim : Hi Rachel. Ohh, I've been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have. Rachel Green : Okay..Okay.. Look. I'm sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item but were not anymore. Kim : Oh, really? Rachel Green : Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I can't do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful woman. I can't do this. I'm married and I'm sorry." And then I don't know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine." Kim : You expect me to believe.. Hi Ralph. Ralph Lauren : Hi Kim. Kim : Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. It's like he hates you. Then it is true. Rachel Green : Of course it's true and it hurts so bad. Kim : Ohh honey come here. Ohh it will be ok. We've all been there. Rachel Green : You and Ralph? Kim : Kenny the copyboy. Janine Lecroix : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, uhh, I need to talk to you. Janine Lecroix : What's the matter? Are you upset? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry but we've got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? That's just the way it has to be. Janine Lecroix : Well, if that's what you want. I'll just put it all in my room. Joey Tribbiani : Great...Great...and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didn't want to make a big deal out of this, you know. You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to. Janine Lecroix : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : And, uhh, maybe the watering can there. Janine Lecroix : Sure. Joey Tribbiani : And a couple of these little tiny boxes. Janine Lecroix : Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay, great! Bye. So guess who's coming to Thanksgiving dinner? Chandler Bing : Sydney Portier? Hehheh. Monica Geller : I miss Rachel. No, my parents. Chandler Bing : Oh! That's great, they haven't seen the place since I moved in! Monica Geller : Yeah, and y'know, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! , I was thinking we would eat around four. Chandler Bing : Why can't I tell them that we live together? Monica Geller : Because they don't know we're dating. Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? Chandler Bing : Why haven't you told them?! Monica Geller : Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didn't. Chandler Bing : Why haven't you told them?! Wouldn't they be happy?! Monica Geller : So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! I'll see you then. Chandler Bing : Why wouldn't they be happy? Monica Geller : Well, um, because mainly, um, they don't like you. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : What? What? Why?! Monica Geller : Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that you're really sarcastic, or that, y'know, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch. Chandler Bing : Is this why they don't like me or why you don't like me? Monica Geller : Look, I know that I should've told them. I know I shouldn't care what they think. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Y'know, it'll be okay. It'll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then we'll tell 'em. Monica Geller : You really think that'll work? Chandler Bing : Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didn't I? Monica Geller : I don't think you'll ever get my parents that drunk! Chandler Bing : Hey! Oh, good, Ross! You're parents like me, right? Ross Geller : Yes, of course they like you! Chandler Bing : Well Monica just told me that they don't. Ross Geller : Yeah, they don't like you. Chandler Bing : Do you know why? Ross Geller : I dunno, maybe it's because you're really sarcastic. Or maybe it's cause you uh- Chandler Bing : Well if people don't know they shouldn't just guess! Chandler Bing : This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe I could give thanks for you shuttin' up, eh? Chandler Bing : Maybe I could give thanks by taking my Playstation over to my new apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Well maybe I love ya'. Chandler Bing : . Janine Lecroix : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Janine Lecroix : Hey guys! Ross Geller : No I don't want to play video games, Joey! Janine Lecroix : Are you guys going to Chandler's for Thanksgiving? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah, why? What's up? Janine Lecroix : Well, me and my dancer friends are thinking of doing Thanksgiving uptown. I thought you guys might like to come. Ross Geller : For real? Janine Lecroix : No, but you should go to Chandler's. Because none of us knows how to cook, we'll probably just end up drinking all day. Joey Tribbiani : Ye-ye, we go to yours! Ross Geller : Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because it's my sister. But, uh, uh y'know actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that. Janine Lecroix : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : How you got three women to marry you, I'll never know. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachel's dessert is... so good that I eat all of it. There's none left for anybody else! Monica Geller : Nothing. Rachel Green : Nothing? Monica Geller : No, sweetie, I-I trust you. Rachel Green : So, if-if I mess this up, there's nothing else for dessert? Monica Geller : You're not gonna mess it up. Rachel Green : Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butter's done? Monica Geller : Well, it's done about two minutes before it looks like that. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ooh the food smells great, Mon! Ross Geller : And the place looks so nice! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, hey hey, Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Ross Geller : Happy Thanksgiving! The Girls : Happy Thanksgiving! Joey Tribbiani : Well, this has been great! Ross Geller : See ya! Monica Geller : Whoa whoa whoa! Where're you goin'? Ross Geller : Oh, oh, we did say we'd stop by this little thing Joey's roommate is having. Monica Geller : Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl? Ross Geller : Some would say she's attractive, yes. Phoebe Buffay : And who else is going to be there? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, some of her friends, yeah. Rachel Green : Her dancer friends? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, all right? All of her hot dancer friends are gonna be there and they're gonna be, be drinkin' and dancin, and we really wanna go! Ross Geller : Dude, we were good! Monica Geller : You're not gonna go anywhere, you said you were gonna eat here, and you're gonna eat here! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and-and leaving us to go see hot dancer girls is not very Thanksgivingy. Ross Geller : Oh, but-but it is, uh, it's just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world! Judy Geller : Hello everybody! Jack Geller : Hi! #ALL# : Hi! Monica Geller : Dad , Mom . Look! Look who it is it's Chandler! Judy Geller : Oh yes of course, hello Chandler. Chandler Bing : Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats! Chandler Bing : Whoa, snowing out there? Jack Geller : No. Jack Geller : Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living. Jack Geller : Ok, I have dandruff. There's no need to laugh and point. Monica Geller : Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke. Jack Geller : My joke wasn't funny. Phoebe Buffay : Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night. Rachel Green : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And it's making me look at him totally differently. Y'know, I mean he used to be just, y'know "Jack Geller Monica and Ross's dad" and now he's he's "Jack Geller, dream hunk." Rachel Green : I dunno. Y'know to me he'll always be "Jack Geller, walks in while you're changing." Monica Geller : Y'know dad, Chandler is one of Ross's very best friends! Chandler Bing : Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, y'know I've always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father. Jack Geller : I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do? Chandler Bing : He's the headliner of a gay burlesque show. Joey Tribbiani : Rach, you're killin' us here, will ya serve the dessert already? Those drunken dancers are waiting! Rachel Green : Look at it, isn't it beautiful? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, what is it? Rachel Green : It's a truffle. It's got all of these layers. First there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! Ross Geller : W-What was the one right before bananas? Rachel Green : The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, y'know, I thought "well, there's mincemeat pie," I mean that's an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, y'know. Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place? Joey Tribbiani : Y-sure! Rachel Green : And while I'm gone don't you boys sneak a taste. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way! Joey Tribbiani : I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that? Ross Geller : Oh my God, the pages are stuck together! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler! Ross Geller : Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperd's Pie! Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Now she's gonna start all over! We're never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world! Ross Geller : No, no, we will. We just won't tell her she messed up. Joey Tribbiani : Just let her serve the beef-custard thing? Ross Geller : Yeah, it'll be like a funny Thanksgiving story! Joey Tribbiani : Vomiting stories are funny... Rachel Green : Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees! Joey Tribbiani : Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear? Rachel Green : No! Joey Tribbiani : Still not hot enough! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldn't give to be that can of condensed milk. Monica Geller : Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is. Judy Geller : Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it. Chandler Bing : Oh, yes. Well it's very beautiful. It's cream-colored and tight I don't mean tight, I mean it's not too tight, not that I was looking at- Jack Geller : What's the matter with him? Judy Geller : I think he's stoned again. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Dude, I need to talk to you a sec. Ross Geller : Okay, I think I might know why my parents don't like you. Chandler Bing : You do? Why? Ross Geller : Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window. Chandler Bing : What?! Why did you do that? Ross Geller : I don't know, aheh, your's was the first name that-that popped into my head, I'm I'm sorry. I-I didn't think it would matter. Chandler Bing : How could it not matter?! Ross Geller : How was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister? Chandler Bing : What about all that "friends forever" stuff? Ross Geller : I don't know, I-I was all high. Monica Geller : Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you were trying to get Ross stoned! Chandler Bing : Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me! Monica Geller : Ross, I can't believe you'd do that! Chandler Bing : The reason we haven't told them we're together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this? Ross Geller : Okay, okay, I'll tell 'em it wasn't Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was? Monica Geller : You! It's not like it's a big deal! You-you don't still do it or anything! Ross Geller : Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it? Monica Geller : Dad, please don't pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if you're gonna put your feet up, why don't you sit on the- Phoebe Buffay : Monica, leave him alone! Joey Tribbiani : Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janine's friends are dancers?! And that they're going to be drinking alot!? Rachel Green : No, I did, but tell me again, because it's so romantic. Joey Tribbiani : Well you're whippin' so slow! Can't you do it any faster? Rachel Green : Joey! Come on! I don't wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like "Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?" Rachel Green : So why don't you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright? Joey Tribbiani : Oh I am! Monica Geller : Ross, if you don't tell them, then I will! Ross Geller : Okay, fine! Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Can I talk to you for a second? Ross Geller : Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it can't? Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert. Ross Geller : What?! What is with everybody? It's Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day! Joey Tribbiani : Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, they're all gonna' make fun of her, do you want that? Ross Geller : Okay, okay, we'll just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! Joey Tribbiani : Dude, they're not objects. Joey Tribbiani : Just kiddin,' I'll talk to them, you distract Rach. Ross Geller : Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second? Rachel Green : Okay... Rachel Green : What's up, Ross? Ross Geller : So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : And um...You look nice today. Rachel Green : Oh no. No Ross, don't do this. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I just- I don't think us getting back together is a good idea. Ross Geller : Eh? Rachel Green : I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Y'know? And it's probably really hard for you to be alone right now. Ross Geller : You're alone. Rachel Green : No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean you're alone, alone. And I just-it's just not the time for us. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Ah well, can't blame a guy for trying! Joey Tribbiani : Oh and Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach or uh, or saying "mmm" and uh, oh oh! And smiling , okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore. Joey Tribbiani : Rachel, there you are! Come on, let's serve that dessert already! Rachel Green : Joey, you're gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You don't get any dessert. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Rachel Green : No, I'm just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, it's trifle time! Phoebe Buffay : So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isn't it? Rachel Green : It sure is. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. So then did you make it with beef or Eggplant? Rachel Green : Beef. Phoebe Buffay : I can't have any. You know I don't eat meat. Ohhh no. Rachel Green : Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste. Monica Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers! Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Op! Wait, you dropped a pea. Rachel Green : Well? Monica Geller : Mmmm! It's good! Rachel Green : Really? How good? Monica Geller : It's so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one who's eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross. #ALL# : Mmm. Chandler Bing : Yeah, this is so good, that I'm gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert. Judy Geller : I've gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monica's room. Jack Geller : I'll help you dial. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it. Rachel Green : Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it. Ross Geller : Wha? No no! Ah! All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left. Ross Geller : It tastes like feet! Joey Tribbiani : I like it. Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Joey Tribbiani : What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood. Rachel Green : ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street? Chandler Bing : Yes, but if it's any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, come here. Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this? Phoebe Buffay : I dunno, let's see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl. Rachel Green : Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen. Jack Geller : Boy, I'm glad I wore the big belt today. Phoebe Buffay : Five minutes ago, a line like that would've floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman. Monica Geller : Ross? Let's go. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter. Monica Geller : Alright, you know what? That's it. You've had your chance. Ross Geller : Wha-what? Monica Geller : Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college! Jack Geller : What?! Ross Geller : You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana? Jack Geller : Yes. Ross Geller : Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. I'm sorry. Judy Geller : It was you? Monica Geller : And Dad, y'know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys! Ross did! Ross Geller : Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing, Monica did! Monica Geller : Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year! Ross Geller : Monica and Chandler are living together! Monica Geller : Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!! Phoebe Buffay : I love Jacques Cousteau! Rachel Green : I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle! Joey Tribbiani : I wanna gooooooo! Judy Geller : That's alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me. Jack Geller : And we kinda figured about the porch swing. Judy Geller : Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again? Jack Geller : What happened son? Ross Geller : I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things! Judy Geller : Chandler! You've been Ross's best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. And now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being. Chandler Bing : Thank you! Jack Geller : No! Thank you! Monica, and Ross! I don't know what I'm gonna do about the two of you! Chandler Bing : I'll talk to them! Rachel Green : You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldn't feel bad! Monica Geller : Well actually, I-I didn't eat mine. It's still in the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : No it isn't, I ate that. Judy Geller : Well we left ours in Monica's bedroom. Joey Tribbiani : Nope, got it and I got yours too. Chandler Bing : Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights. Rachel Green : That's a good story, Grandpa. Ross Geller : Hey #ALL# : Hey Ross Geller : Wow, Monica's letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or? Monica Geller : Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. It's about being with the people that you love. Phoebe Buffay : That is nice and we're done. TADA! Chandler Bing : I dunno what it is, it just doesn't quite feel like Christmas to me. Monica Geller : Oh, here. Chandler Bing : See now it feels like Christmas! Ross Geller : ... and that's the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising life's triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago. Rachel Green : So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe what's up? Joey Tribbiani : I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Y'know, everywhere I look she's like... Chandler Bing : I can see why that's hard to resist. Joey Tribbiani : I like her so much! Monica Geller : Aw, I'm sorry sweetie that she doesn't feel the same way. Joey Tribbiani : I know. And she's so sweet. I just wanna feed her grapes and brush her hair. Chandler Bing : You are aware that she's not a monkey, right? Ross Geller : I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now she's like OLD NEWS! Janine Lecroix : Hey guys! Ross Geller : Hi Janine! Janine Lecroix : I just got a call to be a dancer on a television special for New Year's Eve. It's called some sort of Dick'n Rock'n Dickie Eve. Monica Geller : Hold it! Are you talking about Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve? Janine Lecroix : Yeah, that's what I said. Monica Geller : Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember! Chandler Bing : Ah, you're still just a little fat girl inside aren't you? Janine Lecroix : Well I'm gonna be on it this year. I'm gonna be one of the party people. Ross Geller : You're gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most! Janine Lecroix : Well they said I should bring someone. Do you wanna be my dance partner? Joey Tribbiani : Totally! I would love to spend New Year's with you. Janine Lecroix : Well actually they're taping tomorrow. I don't really understand why. Ross Geller : Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that. Janine Lecroix : Yeah well, do you guys wanna come too? Ross Geller : Are you serious? Monica Geller : We are there! Chandler Bing : What, what are you laughing at? Rachel Green : Well, I used to date him, but you're still going out with her! Janine Lecroix : Thanks. Great so we can all go together! I gotta run. Catch you later! #ALL# : Bye! Ross Geller : Bye Janine! Joey Tribbiani : Did she just ask me out on a date? Chandler Bing : I don't think so. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium! Rachel Green : Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, I'm sorry, but I don't think that was a romantic thing. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. We're going to a New Year's Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Y'know? But if she says 'Dude, what the hell are you doing?' I can say 'It wasn't me, it was New Years!' Rachel Green : Well, that's a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick. Ross Geller : It was a dry day. Monica Geller : We are going to Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : OK, listen I've been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? It's a show, but we're just dancing, OK? It's no big deal. The important thing to remember – stay cool. Ross Geller : Got it! Ross Geller : Oh my God it's just like I dreamed it! Director : OK, everyone gather up. Monica Geller : 'Scuse us Director : Here's what's gonna happen. The music's gonna start, you're gonna dance, we're gonna tape, you don't look at the camera. Any questions? Ross Geller : Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air? Director : Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out. Joey Tribbiani : Ross! So when is it gonna air? Rachel Green : Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet. Chandler Bing : I can save you time ladies, I'm right here. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you. Rachel Green : We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica. Chandler Bing : What? That's terrible! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, we do it every year! Chandler Bing : Oh well, that makes it not terrible. Phoebe Buffay : No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us that wily minx. Rachel Green : Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, them we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK? Chandler Bing : No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents! Phoebe Buffay : But we have to! Chandler Bing : No, you don't have to, and you can't because I live here too. Phoebe Buffay : Well then, you should look with us. Chandler Bing : Why? Rachel Green : Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas? Chandler Bing : No, I have a great idea for a present for her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's it? A great idea! Rachel Green : Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why? Chandler Bing : If I help, we can find 'em faster! Rachel Green : That's right! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh ooh, we have a live one! Rachel Green : Oh, it's a Macy's bag! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, who's it for? Rachel Green : Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-oh. She may be onto us. Rachel Green : We are so gonna find them this year. Chandler Bing : Y'know when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you don't, you don't do that every year do you? Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You don't, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything? Phoebe Buffay : No, we never do that Chandler Bing : Because that's where Joey gave me some stuff to store that I've never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! Monica Geller : Okay, here comes another camera. Ross Geller : Right. No biggie. Stay loose. Ross Geller : Why do they keep doing that? Monica Geller : If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. They've been taping those people up there all day. Ross Geller : Right. Ross Geller : Hey, what'd you guys do to get up on there? Girl : We learned how to dance. Monica Geller : Oh yeah? Well when you learned how to dance did you forget how to put on underpants? Ross Geller : Yeah! Janine Lecroix : Hey! You're a good dancer! Joey Tribbiani : Really? Janine Lecroix : Yeah, well you'd be better if you just loosened your hips a little. Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? Janine Lecroix : Like this. Janine Lecroix : That's it, feel the rhythm. That's better. Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Director : Okay, you're dancing with that girl over there. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no we came together! Director : I don't see it. You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! Joey Tribbiani : No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot. Director : Really, y'think so? I don't.. Chandler Bing : I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey! Rachel Green : Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap! Chandler Bing : Those are my gifts, I got them for you. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great! Rachel Green : Well Chandler, what is this very weird, metal A Z thing? Chandler Bing : Those are book ends! That's a great gift! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz. Rachel Green : Ha! Chandler Bing : Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay? Rachel Green : Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. Here we go. Looking good Gellers! Ross Geller : We know! Monica Geller : Hey, see that snippy guy over there? He's the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him. Ross Geller : Okay. Director : Okay, everybody hold! Director : Next on the platforms are... ...you two! And... ...You two! Monica Geller : Excuse me, sir, would it help if I weren't wearing underpants? Ross Geller : Monica! Would it? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that you're dancing with. Tall Guy : She's nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown – I'm trying to win her over, so I was wondering if.. Tall Guy : No I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Oh come on man, you can dance with my partner, she's real, uh, mellow! Tall Guy : Look, are you dating this girl you came with? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was hoping after tonight that maybe I could you know... Tall Guy : No, no. She's fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, alright, hey y'know fair is fair, if you're right, you're right, what can I say, but hey oh no! Tall Guy : God! What are you, in second grade? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, now you're the one who wet his pants. Monica Geller : Man, this sucks! Y'know if Mom and Dad don't see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, who's gonna be the losers then? Ross Geller : Hey, I know what'll get us up on a platform! Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : The routine! Monica Geller : Ross, we haven't done the routine since middle school. Ross Geller : Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, he'll wanna build us our own platform! Monica Geller : Was it really that good? Ross Geller : We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, it's almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice? Monica Geller : Okay, let's do it. Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced! Monica Geller : 5 6 7 8! Ross Geller : So, do we really have to ask who's going up on the platform next? Director : Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that! Monica Geller : Yes! Director : Make sure you get this, they're gonna want it for the bloopers show. Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again it's gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybody's excitement. Tall Guy : Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner. Director : What's going on over here? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, take a look at the guy's pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but don't you think he went a little overboard? Director : What's the matter with you? Get out of here! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, take a hike wetpants! Ross Geller : Can you believe this? We're gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment! Monica Geller : I know! Hey, you haven't been practising the routine, have you? Ross Geller : No! Monica Geller : Me too! Ross Geller : Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, y'know? Monica Geller : Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we don't wanna look stupid! Director : Alright we're back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny. #ALL# : Three, Two, One! Director : Cut! Joey Tribbiani : No! Year! Happy No Year! Director : Okay, here's where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone that's a wrap! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Look who I found! Chandler Bing : Oh, hey guys! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden. Chandler Bing : Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter. Phoebe Buffay : Or we could just follow your clever jokes – any ideas? No! Didn't think so! Okay, c'mon guys, show us where the presents are! Chandler Bing : Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica that's as good as garbage? Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, how about my azzz? Rachel Green : Hey, this is hollow. Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : This bench, it's hollow! I can't believe I never knew that! Oh, the presents!!! Phoebe Buffay : No, don't look directly at them! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Alright, no, we could look at them! Rachel Green : Oh, this one's for me! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this one's for Chandler. Here. Chandler Bing : Oh great! Phoebe Buffay : And the big one's for me! Rachel Green : Ooh, let's open them! Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Hee hee! Chandler Bing : Wait, we can't do this. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Chandler Bing : I don't wanna know what Monica got me. Y'know? I mean, look, I'm sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about. Rachel Green : Whatever Linus, I'm opening mine. Chandler Bing : Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I don't know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monica's face when I give her my present, and I'm sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back? Phoebe Buffay : Will you get us better gifts? Chandler Bing : Fine! Monica Geller : Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier? Chandler Bing : That's what you got me? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes, I see what you mean. That look is priceless. Joey Tribbiani : Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Year's gonna go off. I guess there's no reason for all that Y2K panic, y'know? Anyway, g'night! Janine Lecroix : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Janine Lecroix : 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yoii. What was that for? Janine Lecroix : Well, I don't know tonight when they yelled cut and we didn't get to kiss, I was really, really, disappointed, and I just, really wanted to kiss you Joey Tribbiani : Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment. Janine Lecroix : In the moment, yeah. Joey Tribbiani : But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again? Janine Lecroix : Sure, New Year's Eve is only two weeks away. Can you wait? Joey Tribbiani : No. Janine Lecroix : Me neither. Joey Tribbiani : 3, 2, Janine Lecroix : Joey, you don't have to count down every time we kiss. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready. Monica Geller : We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled 'CUT!' Rachel Green : Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade? Monica Geller : Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me! Rachel Green : 'Cos I was gonna say there's no way you could've done the end the way you guys did it back then! Monica Geller : What? We could do it! Ross Geller : I don't know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then. Monica Geller : I can do it, okay? Come on, let's go. Monica Geller : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Monica Geller : I can't do it! Chandler Bing : Now you do that, you're on TV. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine? Monica Geller : Honey, we have been through this before! Rachel Green : Yeah. Don't do this to yourself. Phoebe Buffay : She's made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen. Joey Tribbiani : Well all right then, I guess I shouldn't get to excited about the fact that I just kissed her! Monica Geller : You serious?! Chandler Bing : That's great! Monica Geller : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, we'll see. Ross Geller : You kissed her. Joey Tribbiani : Oh we kissed it up real nice. Chandler Bing : So you kissed her, so what happened after that? Joey Tribbiani : I came over here to tell you guys. Chandler Bing : So she's just waiting over there for ya? Janine Lecroix : I gotta go. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Janine Lecroix : I'm gonna be really late for dance class! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Janine Lecroix : Okay, now I'm really late. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I'm all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? Janine Lecroix : Bye. Monica Geller : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Have you kissed her yet? It's awesome! I could do it forever! Y'know what? She-she kisses better than my mom cooks! Monica Geller : I am so glad you said cooks. Rachel Green : I know. Chandler Bing : Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. Rachel Green : Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! You can throw the rest away. Chandler Bing : I'm not your garbage man. I'm your mailman. Rachel Green : Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. Monica Geller : You got it from Pottery Barn?! Rachel Green : Yeah! It's an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is? Chandler Bing : A pharmacist. Monica Geller : Rach, Phoebe hates Pottery Barn. Joey Tribbiani : I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed! Chandler Bing : You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets! Joey Tribbiani : I was tired! Rachel Green : Phoebe hates Pottery Barn?! Monica Geller : Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it. Rachel Green : Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store. Monica Geller : It's gotta be one of a kind. Y'know like umm, y'know uh, what's that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I made that for her! Chandler Bing : You made pottery? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage. Monica Geller : I'm telling-If you put that in her apartment you'll never hear the end of it. Rachel Green : Okay fine! I'll-I'll just tell her it's an antique apothecary table, she doesn't have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs. Chandler Bing : Ahh, just like the apothecary tables of yore... Chandler Bing : ...so then the farmer says, "That's not a cow and you're not milking it." Monica Geller : I am so glad you guys got together, Chandler and I are always looking for a couple to go out with and now we have one! Chandler Bing : Look at us, we're a couple of couples! Janine Lecroix : I had so much fun tonight, and what a great restaurant. Monica Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : And Chandler I can't believe I let you pay for this one. Thanks man. Monica Geller : So do you guys gonna come over tomorrow? I'll make that pasta thing I was telling you about. Janine Lecroix : Oh that would be great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, but hey look, at least let us bring the wine. Monica Geller : Joey, you don't have too! Joey Tribbiani : Nope-op! I insist! You get the wine right? Chandler Bing : Yeah all right. Okay, good night guys. Joey Tribbiani : See ya tomorrow! Monica Geller : Tomorrow! Janine Lecroix : Can't wait! Janine Lecroix : How are we gonna get out of that one? Joey Tribbiani : What? Janine Lecroix : I can't handle two nights in a row with them. Joey Tribbiani : What-what's wrong with Monica and Chandler? Janine Lecroix : I don't know, they're just a little blah! Joey Tribbiani : Blah?! Janine Lecroix : Well y'know, he's blah, she's just-she's very loud for such a small person. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, they're like my best friends. Are you saying we can't hang out with them? 'Cause that would kinda be a problem. Janine Lecroix : No! Of course we can still hang out with them. Just y'know, not two nights in a row. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : I guess. Janine Lecroix : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : If you want, I'll sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, what a great table! Where-where did you get it? Rachel Green : Guess! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, a flea market? Rachel Green : Ha! See, I knew, I knew you'd get it on the first guess. Isn't it cool! It's an apothecary table. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where they kept all the stuff to make their potions. Rachel Green : Ohh, yes. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know? Ooh, you can almost smell the opium. Rachel Green : Almost. Phoebe Buffay : How much was it? Rachel Green : It was only 500 bucks. Phoebe Buffay : 500 bucks at a flea market?! Rachel Green : Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, y'know like back then. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Rachel Green : Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was y'know, it was like a dollar. Phoebe Buffay : A dollar? Rachel Green : And fifty. So it was like one and fifty dollars. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Well, what period is it from? Rachel Green : Uh, it's from yore. Like the days of yore. Y'know? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, yes I do. God, oh it's just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like y'know where it was from or... Rachel Green : Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains. Phoebe Buffay : White Plains. Oh, it sounds like such a magical place. Rachel Green : Hey! We're here! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Ohh! Oh my God! Ross Geller : You like it? Rachel Green : Oh no! Ross Geller : It's my new apothecary table! Rachel Green : Ross! Phoebe's gonna be here any second, she cannot see this! Ross Geller : Well why not?! She'll-she'll love it! It's the real thing! I got it at Pottery Barn. Rachel Green : I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table she's gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original. Ross Geller : Why did you do that? Rachel Green : Because she hates Pottery Barn. Ross Geller : She hates Pottery Barn?!! Rachel Green : I know! I know, she says it's all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. So come on, she's gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please? Ross Geller : What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from Phoebe-Ooh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! Rachel Green : Ooo! Oh, I forgot they made sheets! Ross Geller : Uh, yeah! I still can't believe she hates Pottery Barn! Rachel Green : Ross, get over it! It's not like she hates you. Ross Geller : Yeah but Pottery Barn! Y'know what I think? It's just she-she's weird. Y'know it's because she's a twin. Twins are weird. Rachel Green : Ross, she's not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind. Ross Geller : Huh. Y'know what's not one of a kind? A twin! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Ooh, Phoebe's here! Okay, let's turn out all the lights and we'll just watch the movie! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Hey-Ooh, cool sheets! Ross Geller : Oh, you like it? You wanna know where I got it? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Rachel Green : He got it a flea market! Phoebe Buffay : You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little. Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Monica Geller : The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting. Chandler Bing : And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldn't afford it, because you paid dinner last night. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Thanks, but uh actually it's just gonna be me again tonight. Monica Geller : What happened to Janine? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, she's uh-uh really sick. Chandler Bing : Oh that's too bad. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she's been in there all day , uh high fever, a nose problem... Phlegm! Phlegm! Phlegm-phlegm-phlegm! Janine Lecroix : Monica! Chandler! I'm really-really sorry about tonight. I don't know if Joey told you; I just couldn't get out of going to this play. I'm sorry. Have a great time. Joey Tribbiani : 'Kay! Janine Lecroix : Bye. Chandler Bing : That's funny, I saw no phlegm. Joey Tribbiani : No-no, she really is sick! Chandler Bing : Then why-why is she going to a play?! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, y'know, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold. Monica Geller : Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?! Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, she didn't want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. I'm so sorry. Chandler Bing : Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?! Joey Tribbiani : Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud. Monica Geller : What?!! What? Chandler Bing : So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?! Monica Geller : Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her! Chandler Bing : And I am not blah, I am a hoot! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I know! Come on, please-please you guys, don't-don't be mad. I'm sure she just, she just said that stuff because she was nervous and you guys are like my best friends! Y'know? And it was our first date! Plus, she's really sick! Chandler Bing : No, you sh-No you said you made that up!! Joey Tribbiani : I know, but don't you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing? Chandler Bing : Eh, they're both good. I generally just go with, Monica's drunk again. Joey Tribbiani : Come on you guys, come on please-please just give her another chance, huh? She'll come around I promise. Monica Geller : Of course we will, come on we gotta make dinner. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : I do not like that woman! Joey Tribbiani : I can hear you! Monica Geller : I am loud! #ALL# : Aww! Rachel Green : That's funny. Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new......old sheet? Phoebe Buffay : Oh sure! Noo! Rachel Green : Ohh!! Ross Geller : My apothecary table!!! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Rachel Green : Noooooo!! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, where did you get this?! Ross Geller : I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Oh my God, well if they've ripped off our table ours must be much more than one and fifty dollars! Rachel Green : Oh yes. Phoebe Buffay : Well this doesn't even smell like opium. Ross Geller : Of course not, it smells like wine, which you spilled! And thanks for wrecking my sheet by the way. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Ross, calm down, I'll give you the 80 cents. Chandler Bing : Okay, one more time. Monica Geller : Chandler, would you like some more orange juice? Chandler Bing : Perfect decibel. Monica Geller : I know!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : So uh, what are you guys doing? Chandler Bing : Oh nothing, we're just talking. Y'know, blah-blah-blah. Joey Tribbiani : Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine. Monica Geller : Well, I'd like to but, I'm not sure we have time to go. Joey Tribbiani : Ha-ha, very funny-Look! I don't know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me! Monica Geller : We owe you?! Joey Tribbiani : That's right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars! Monica Geller : We didn't give you any money! Joey Tribbiani : You don't think I know that! Rachel Green : ...see I can't decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table. Ross Geller : Wow! I didn't know that there was a Pottery Barn up here. Rachel Green : I know, I know. I went a little crazy. Ross Geller : A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that. Ross Geller : Fascinating. Phoebe Buffay : Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too! Rachel Green : Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times. Phoebe Buffay : Ah! Ross Geller : Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? Rachel Green : Well there's yore. And uh, y'know, yesteryear. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah no, I'm telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, y'know if you ever decide you need to redecorate-And I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help. Rachel Green : Oh honey he doesn't need my help. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, come on! I think he's ready to get rid of, what did you call it? The cheap knock-offs and dinosaur junk. Ross Geller : Really?! Hey, y'know what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, here's-here's 60 bucks, why don't you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff. Rachel Green : Y'know what? I don't, I don't think Phoebe really wants to come. Phoebe Buffay : No! I do want to! Rachel Green : Oh, she does want to. Ross Geller : She does want to. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : Pheebs, I don't know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time. Phoebe Buffay : Well at least I got these sheets for Ross. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Uck, look at this! Pottery Barn, yuck! Rachel Green : Yeah, y'know what? Don't look at it. Seriously, don't look at it. Phoebe Buffay : No! Look-look! There's the coffee table they stole from us! Rachel Green : Ugh, those bastards! Let's go. Phoebe Buffay : That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the...wait a sec! This is our exact living room! Rachel Green : No! No! No! No it's not! No it's not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we don't have the... We don't have the...that lamp! And-and that screen is y'know, on the other side. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God! Rachel Green : Okay! Okay-okay look-no I did, I just wanted this stuff and I know how you feel about Pottery Barn. Just... Come on don't be mad. Phoebe Buffay : No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And it's all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I don't have that lamp! Rachel Green : Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross. Phoebe Buffay : I can't! I can't! Unless... Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didn't buy that lamp? Rachel Green : What?! No! I'm not gonna move out! Phoebe Buffay : But are you saying that you would move out if I didn't buy that lamp? Rachel Green : Oh. Yes! I would so move out! Phoebe Buffay : Okay then I don't have a choice! I have to buy that lamp! Rachel Green : That's right! Phoebe Buffay : But at least the apothecary table is real. Joey Tribbiani : Well, this-this-this was great. Didn't everybody have a great time? Janine Lecroix : Well I did. I really did. And you guys, I've got to say, I'm sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something. Chandler Bing : That's totally understandable. Monica Geller : Don't worry about it. Janine Lecroix : So we can go out again? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : Absolutely! Janine Lecroix : Oh good. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well then, good night! Monica Geller : Good night! Joey Tribbiani : See? Eh, wasn't that fun? Janine Lecroix : We have got to move! Monica Geller : I knew it!! Y'know, you're not so quiet yourself, missy! Chandler Bing : And I'm blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment." Janine Lecroix : Y'know, I know you're talking, but all I hear is, "Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah." Monica Geller : All right! You and me! Let's go! Right now! Joey Tribbiani : All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! Chandler Bing : Y'know I think you can take her. Monica Geller : You'd better hope I don't see you in the hallway!! Joey Tribbiani : All right, uh, we've got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you can't treat them that way. Janine Lecroix : They said stuff to me too, y'know! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I know! And I'm going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They... They're like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I... I don't think we can be together. It just, it just can't work. It can't. I'm very upset. Janine Lecroix : Okay. Okay. Would, would it help if I went over and apologized? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! That would be very helpful! Yeah. Monica Geller : What did I tell you about the hall?! Janine Lecroix : I was just coming over here to apologize for my behavior! I'd really like it if we could be friends. Monica Geller : Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too. Janine Lecroix : Great. Monica Geller : Now come on. Well, I'm glad we worked things out. Janine Lecroix : Me too. Monica Geller : Okay. Janine Lecroix : I'll see you. Monica Geller : Bye. Janine Lecroix : Or I'll hear you. Monica Geller : That's it big girl! Come on! Janine Lecroix : Wait! Monica Geller : You'd better run! Chandler Bing : Did you hear that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah uh, what am I gonna do? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm sorry man. You wanna go watch? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : How ya doin'? Chandler Bing : Hey so, did uh, did she move out? Joey Tribbiani : Pretty much, yeah. Monica Geller : I cannot believe you broke up with her just like that. Joey Tribbiani : Well, when it's not right, you know it. Chandler Bing : You okay? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah. I'll be all right. Ross Geller : Y'know what would cheer you up? Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : I'm giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night, I think you should come. Joey Tribbiani : You're right! That did cheer me up! Ross Geller : Hey, you're not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it! Phoebe Buffay : I didn't know Playboy prints jokes. Ross Geller : Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures. Monica Geller : That didn't work on mom, it's not going to work on us. Ross Geller : Here, check it out. It's the first one, too. Chandler Bing : That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up. Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : I made that joke up. Ross Geller : Uh, oh-oh, no you didn't. I did. Chandler Bing : Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard. Ross Geller : Hey, tell Dan, 'Thanks.' Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. Chandler Bing : Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Seriously? Monica Geller : Well, you tell a lot of jokes! Ross Geller : Look, Chandler, it's my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they don't print the name, so it doesn't really matter who gets credit, right? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I guess. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke. Ross Geller : No, it's my joke, it's mine. You can call them, they'll tell you. Chandler Bing : It's my joke. Ross Geller : It's my joke. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right? Chandler Bing : Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up. Joey Tribbiani : Let's go watch it at your place. Chandler Bing : Nah, Monica's watching some cooking show. Come on, I don't want to miss when they were skinny. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, Chandler, y'know what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses. Chandler Bing : What? No, I want to watch this. . Did your cable go out? Joey Tribbiani : No, that's VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . It's like a lotta noise to me. I don't know... Chandler Bing : Joey, why is your cable out? Joey Tribbiani : I uh, oh! Because, uh, I haven't really paid the bill Chandler Bing : If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money? Joey Tribbiani : No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot. Chandler Bing : Whoa ho. Joey Tribbiani : I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book . Chandler Bing : All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place? Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Chandler Bing : Paid your phone bill? Joey Tribbiani : Not so much. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : It's only you. Phoebe Buffay : Wh-wh-what are you doing? Rachel Green : We are looking at a Playboy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I want to look too! . Yikes! Monica Geller : So do you think that these pictures-Are, are they trying to tell a story? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, she's crying out, 'Where are they, where are they?' Monica Geller : Well, she's not going to find them lying in the grass like that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : You see, now, I would date this girl. She's cute, she's outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, that's got to come in handy Monica Geller : Okay, I've got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be? Rachel Green : I don't know. Monica Geller : Me neither. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Me neither. Joey Tribbiani : You forget how many great songs Heart had. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard. Chandler Bing : So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but I'm not even sure I got it. Ross Geller : What, you didn't get it? The doctor is a monkey. Chandler Bing : And monkeys can't write out prescriptions. Chandler Bing : You are not allowed to laugh at my joke. Ross Geller : Your joke? Well, I think 'the Hef' would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars. Chandler Bing : So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money. Ross Geller : Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think I'll show the sexy teller that I am a published writer. Chandler Bing : Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke. Ross Geller : Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Ross Geller : Well, I'm not going to go now anyway . Chandler Bing : Okay . Gunther : Here you go. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, Gunther, I can't pay for this right now because I'm not working, so I've had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin' for stuff. Gunther : Well, if you want, you can work here. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I don't know. Ya see, it's just, see I was a regular on a soap opera y'know? And to go from that to this, I just... Plus, I'd have to wait on all my friends. Gunther : Okay, but the money's good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Gunther : Flexible hours. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone? Monica Geller : She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel. Chandler Bing : He took my joke, he took it. Monica Geller : It's wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel. Chandler Bing : You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? I'm going to get a joke journal. Y'know? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes. Monica Geller : That's a good idea. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Monica Geller : Do you know what's a bad idea? Chandler Bing : Picking Rachel. Monica Geller : That's right. Did you hear something? Chandler Bing : Maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts. Monica Geller : It's coming from the living room. Joey Tribbiani : I finished my book. Monica Geller : Hey, you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh, don't you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple. Rachel Green : Monica, what are you doing? Monica Geller : Nothing, I'm just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny. Phoebe Buffay : I guess it was kinda funny. Monica Geller : It wasn't funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didn't you pick me? Phoebe Buffay : Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that you're ... just ... kinda high maintenance-Okay let's go to lunch! Monica Geller : That is completely untrue. You think I'm high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and we're going to go through it point by point! Phoebe Buffay : No, okay, you're right. You're easy-going. You're just not as easy-going as Rachel. She's just more flexible and-and mellow. That's all. Rachel Green : Well, people are different. Phoebe Buffay : Ya, you know, Rachel ... she'll do whatever you want. Y'know, you can just walk all over her. Rachel Green : What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that I'm a pushover? I'm not a pushover. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay, you're not a pushover. Rachel Green : Oh my ... you think I'm a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? You're not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think that's pretty strong, that's what I think. Come on, Monica, let's go to lunch. Monica Geller : You start working on that list. Rachel Green : I cannot believe her. Monica Geller : I know. Where do you wanna go eat? Rachel Green : Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place. Monica Geller : I'm sick of Japanese. We're not going there. Rachel Green : All right, wherever you wanna go is cool. Monica Geller : All right. Ross Geller : Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out. Gunther : Yeah, that-that Chandler cracks me up. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, 'cause I'm heading up there. Ross Geller : Uh, yeah, I'll take a coffee. Thanks, man. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Coffee? 'Cause I'm going up there. Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : No, thank you. Joey Tribbiani : You guys need anything, 'cause I'm heading up there. Woman : I'd love an ice water. Joey Tribbiani : You got it. Monica Geller : Joey, what are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Just being friendly. Rachel Green : Joey, honey, I don't think you're supposed to go back there. Joey Tribbiani : Nah, it's okay. Right, Gunther? Gunther : Don't wink at me. And put on your apron. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, but I don't see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons. Monica Geller : Joey, do you work here? Joey Tribbiani : No. Customer : Hey, waiter. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Monica Geller : Joey, what's going on. What didn't you tell us you work here? Joey Tribbiani : It's kind of embarrassing, y'know. I mean, I was an actor and now I'm a waiter. It's supposed to go in the other direction. Chandler Bing : So is your apron. You're wearing it like a cape. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, the job's easy and the money's good, you know? I guess I'm going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys. Rachel Green : Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine. Ross Geller : Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey, can I get some coffee? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I guess it doesn't seem that weird. Ross Geller : Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still haven't gotten it. Joey Tribbiani : See, now it's weird again. Chandler Bing : I Think It's Great That You Work Here. You'Re Going To Make A Lot Of Money, And Here's Your First Tip. Don't eat yellow snow. . Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse. Rachel Green : Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. A smile goes a long way. And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Y'know? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. It's all about turnover. Ross Geller : Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry, Ross. I'll get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, I'll toss in a free muffin. Rachel Green : Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are? Rachel Green : Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky. Monica Geller : Hah! Phoebe Buffay : That true, I am flaky. Rachel Green : So, what, you're just, you're just okay with being flaky? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, totally. Monica Geller : Well, then, I'm okay with being high maintenance. Rachel Green : Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover. Phoebe Buffay : That's great. Good for you guys. Monica Geller : I am not high maintenance! Rachel Green : I am not a pushover! Phoebe Buffay : Who said you were? Monica Geller : You did! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm flaky. I'll say anything. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition. Gunther : No, I'm leaving to get my hair dyed. Joey Tribbiani : Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, it's a great part. Look, check it out. I'm the lead guy's best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. 'I'm sorry, that seat's saved.' Gunther : That's the whole part? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, maybe he's not his best friend, but ... Gunther : Okay, I'll see you in an hour. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man, I could totally get that part. 'I'm sorry, that seat is taken.' Patron : Oh, excuse me. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, I didn't mean you. But, you believed me, huh? Patron : I believed you were saving this seat for someone. Joey Tribbiani : So, you'd hire me, right? Patron : For what? Joey Tribbiani : Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour. Customers : Huh? What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. It's a very important issue in this month's Playboy. I'm sure you all read about it. Ross Geller : It's my joke. Chandler Bing : It's my joke. Chandler Bing : It's my joke. Ross Geller : Y'know, I don't think we're going to settle this. Chandler Bing : Let's have Monica decide. Ross Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey Mon. Chandler Bing : Mon, get out here! Ross Geller : Monica! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is. Monica Geller : Why do I have to decide? Chandler Bing : Because you're the only one that can be fair. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : I can't be fair. You're my boyfriend. Ross Geller : Yeah, but I'm your brother. We're family. That's the most important thing in the world. Chandler Bing : Don't try to sway her. I'm your only chance to have a baby. Okay, let's go. Ross Geller : We'll each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truth-me. Monica Geller : Okay, Chandler, you go first. Chandler Bing : Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve. Monica Geller : Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas? Chandler Bing : Can I finish my story?! Monica Geller : Do you want me to pick you?! Ross Geller : See, I would never snap at you like that. Monica Geller : Continue. Chandler Bing : So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steve's doctor's name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, 'Doctor Monkey?' And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, I'm a doctor, and I had a monkey. I'm Doctor Monkey! Chandler Bing : I'm not arguing with that. Monica Geller : All right, I've heard enough. I've made my decision. Monica Geller : You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and it's offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldn't be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks! Ross Geller : It's your joke. Chandler Bing : Is not. Monica Geller : Hi, Chandler. There you are. Chandler Bing : Hi, oh hi. Monica Geller : Hey, it's Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why don't you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance? Chandler Bing : Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and--generosity of spirit. Rachel Green : Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think I've ever heard. Phoebe Buffay : Really? I've heard better. Monica Geller : Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I'm out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again? Monica Geller : Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler! Chandler Bing : You're a little high maintenance. Monica Geller : Ahhh! You are on my list. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. You're not easy-going, but you're passionate, and that's good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that I'm pretty good about making you feel better about that. And that's good too. So, they can say that you're high maintenance, but it's okay, because I like ... maintaining you. Monica Geller : I didn't even tell him to say that. . All right you're off my list. Chandler Bing : I'm off the list. Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's okay that you don't want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, suddenly I find you very attractive. Chandler Bing : Hey, buddy boy, how'd the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Not good, no. I didn't get the part, and I lost my job here, so ... Phoebe Buffay : Wow! That is a bad audition. Rachel Green : How-how did you lose your job here? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me. Rachel Green : He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when you've been working here two days? That's not, that's not right. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, what are ya gonna do? Rachel Green : Joey, you can't let him get away with that. Ya know what, I'm not going to let him get away with that. I'm going to say something to him-No, I really shouldn't say anything-No, I should say something to him. Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him... Gunther : Okay. Rachel Green : What? Gunther : He can have his job back. Rachel Green : That's right, he can have his job back. I'm glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back. Joey Tribbiani : That's great. Thanks Rach. Rachel Green : Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now who's a pushover? Phoebe Buffay : Rach, you're in my seat. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend. Monica Geller : I pick you, Phoebe. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, I kinda thought. Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick? Ross Geller : No way. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not answering that. Chandler Bing : Joey! No way. I'm not answering that. Joey Tribbiani : Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together that's $12.75. Chandler Bing : This coming from the man who couldn't split our 80 dollar phone bill in half. Woman : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Woman : How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte? Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani. Woman : Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he's not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with him-He says it's okay. Great! Thanks! Bye-bye! Ross Geller : Hey Joey, how come our stuff isn't free? Joey Tribbiani : It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt! This is great! I'm getting more dates than ever! Rachel Green : Wait a minute, you're only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah Joey that is so gross! Joey Tribbiani : How about a scone on the house baby? Phoebe Buffay : I'm pretty. Ross Geller : Hey does anyone have any gum? Phoebe Buffay : Oh I do! Oh, y'know what? No. Wait a second. I know it's in here somewhere. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I'm good! I'm good! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work? Monica Geller : Ugh, they sent me home. They said I can't work if I'm sick. #ALL# : Ohh! Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry you're sick. Monica Geller : I'm not sick!! I don't get sick! Getting sick is for weaklings and for pansies! Rachel Green : Honey, no one thinks you're a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. Monica Geller : I have not been sick in over three years! Chandler Bing : I'm gonna grab you some tissue. Monica Geller : I don't need a tissue! I'm fine-d! Ross Geller : When you put a 'D' at the end of 'Fine' you're not fine. Monica Geller : I'm fine-d. I'm fine-d! Y'know, it's a really hard word to say. Chandler Bing : Yes? Woman : Hi, is Rachel here? I'm her sister. Rachel Green : Oh my God, Jill! Jill Green : Oh my God, Rachel! Chandler Bing : Oh my God, introduce us! Rachel Green : This is Chandler. Jill Green : Hi! Rachel Green : And you know Monica and Ross! Ross Geller : Hi Jill. Rachel Green : And that's Phoebe , and that's Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how you doin'? Rachel Green : Don't!! Honey, what are you doing here?! Phoebe Buffay : Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or that's bitter? Jill Green : Daddy cut me off. Phoebe Buffay : Never mind, I got it. Jill Green : And y'know what I said to him? "I'm gonna hire a lawyer and I'm gonna sue you and take all your money. Then I'm gonna cut you off!" Rachel Green : Wow! What did he say? Jill Green : That he wouldn't pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter he's actually proud off. Rachel Green : Oh! Did you hear that?! My dad's proud of me! My dad's proud of me. Monica Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, sorry. Wait honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off? Jill Green : Okay, I bought a boat. Monica Geller : You bought a boat? Jill Green : Yeah but it wasn't for me, it was for a friend. Chandler Bing : Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! Rachel Green : Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that could've ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! I'm the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna get a job, you're gonna get an apartment, and then I'll help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us? Phoebe Buffay : Of course, yeah! Jill Green : Oh, that's so great! Okay, I'm really gonna do this! I don't know how to thank you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I like cards. Joey Tribbiani : Are you all finished here? Customer : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Gunther : Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Gunther : For all the free food you gave away. Joey Tribbiani : Well if it's free food, how come you're charging me for it? Gunther : We don't give anything away unless it's someone's birthday. Joey Tribbiani : Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest? Gunther : No! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Jill Green : I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. Ross Geller : Jill, how did you pay for all this? I thought your dad took away your credit card. Jill Green : Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. And these are my, "Don't you want to rent me this apartment?" pants. Ross Geller : I don't think charging new clothes too your dad qualifies as making it on your own. Jill Green : Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical! Phoebe Buffay : Seriously, I don't Rachel's gonna think it's a good idea. Jill Green : So who made her queen of the world? Phoebe Buffay : I would love that job! Rachel Green : Hey! What's goin' on? Jill Green : Hey! Rachel Green : Jill! Did you shop?! Jill Green : No! They did! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we went shopping! Rachel Green : You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jill's nose when you know she's trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry Jill. Ross Geller : Sorry-sorry Jill. Rachel Green : What'd you get? Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, all right, I got thank you, I got uh, this y'know "I want a job sweater." Rachel Green : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : And, and then I got uh, these are apartment pants. Rachel Green : Apartment pants? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you never heard of them? Rachel Green : No, of course, of course I've heard of them! Ross, what did you get? Ross Geller : Huh? Oh, I got this--this! Rachel Green : A pajmena? Ross Geller : Yeah! Oh, I-I love this babies! Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Ross, wants a pajmena? Ross Geller : It's a rug. Rachel Green : Jill? Jill Green : I'm sorry Rachel, I'm sorry... Rachel Green : Oh, come on! You think that's gonna work on me?! I invented that! Jill Green : Right! But, I am sorry. Rachel Green : All right, it's okay. One little setback is okay, just don't let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But I'm just gonna take the-the pajmena. And the uh, and the uh pants. Y'know what, I'm just gonna take it all away, 'cause that way you'll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, I'm gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. Jill Green : She took all my stuff. Ross Geller : Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. Jill Green : That's the best one! Oh my God, thank you so much! Ross Geller : Well. Hey... Jill Green : Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug! Ross Geller : Oh yeah, how about you and the, "I'm sorry!" Jill Green : Shut up! I did not sound like that at all! Phoebe Buffay : What about, what about when I said y'know about the apartment pants, how dumb was I? Jill Green : Were you this cute in high school? Ross Geller : Oh stop. Jill Green : No you stop! Ross Geller : No, you stop! Jill Green : You stop! Phoebe Buffay : Okay-okay, why don't I sit here and you'll both stop it! Monica Geller : Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Let's do something crazy! Chandler Bing : I know, let's rest and drink lots of fluids. Monica Geller : Okay, I'll rest. But y'know if I'm going to bed, then you're coming with me. Chandler Bing : That would be impossible to resist if you weren't all drippy here. Monica Geller : Are you saying that you don't wanna get with this? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I don't you should say that even when you're healthy. Monica Geller : Come on. Chandler Bing : Don't take this personally okay? It's just that I just can't have sex with a sick person. Monica Geller : I'm with you Chandler! I mean I can't have sex with a sick person either, that's disgusting! But I'm not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe. Chandler Bing : That's the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe. Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Rachel Green : What's up?! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I think there's something you should maybe know. Rachel Green : Well, it'd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it. Phoebe Buffay : No. No. It's just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, I'm pretty sure I saw a little spark between them. Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I mean it's probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there. Rachel Green : With Ross and Jill? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : With Ross and my sister? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh there is no way. Phoebe Buffay : Okay then. Rachel Green : Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I don't really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isn't that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and they're gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I can't stop it! I can't-I don't own Ross! Y'know? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I can't believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. Phoebe Buffay : But great news about the apartment pants, huh? Joey Tribbiani : That'll be $3.85. Woman : What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff! Joey Tribbiani : It's just I can't because my manager said I... "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie... Woman : Amy! Joey Tribbiani : "...Amy! Happy birthday to you!" A Male Customer : Hey, that's weird, today's my birthday too! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, not it here it isn't. Jill Green : Sorry I'm late, what's up? Rachel Green : Oh hi! Y'know, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front. Jill Green : Oh no! But I just walked past three sales and I didn't go in. How strong am I? Rachel Green : That is great. Hey, y'know who doesn't have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university. Jill Green : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh so you know that, you guys talked about that, so you get along, so you think you're gonna go out? Jill Green : Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that? Rachel Green : I just, Phoebe, said y'know thought she saw something between you guys. Jill Green : No! I mean he's nice. Rachel Green : Yeah. Jill Green : He's the kind of guy you're friends with, y'know? But he's not the kind of guy you date. He's the kind of guy you'd date because you did. Me, not so much. Rachel Green : Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross? Jill Green : Oh no-no-no, he's just I don't know, he's just a little bookish. Rachel Green : Are-are you saying he's a geek? Jill Green : You think so too? Rachel Green : No! No I, no Ross is not a geek! Jill Green : Fine, then let's just say he's not my type. Rachel Green : What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things aren't on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him! Jill Green : Well okay, if it means that much to you, then I'll ask him out. Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, that's not what I meant. Jill Green : No! Y'know what Rachel? You're right, y'know he has been really nice to me. Rachel Green : Yeah but, he's not your type. Jill Green : Yeah but maybe that's a good thing. Y'know I'm doing all these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek too! Rachel Green : Yeah but, you don't, you don't, you don't want to try to much too fast. Y'know? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast don't you? Jill Green : What? Rachel Green : She-she died Jill. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? Oh-ohhhh! Monica Geller : Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed. Chandler Bing : Oh Jeez honey, I thought, I thought you were asleep. Monica Geller : How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room. Chandler Bing : I was asleep. Oh no! No-no honey! Y'know what's sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy. Monica Geller : Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that I'm not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. Chandler Bing : Would you please get some rest! Monica Geller : I'm fine. Joey Tribbiani : "Happy birthday to you!" Gunther : You're paying for that. Joey Tribbiani : What? No-no it's her birthday! Gunther : You've sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today! Joey Tribbiani : But it really... Gunther : You are no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Ross Geller : Rach? Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Did you tell your sister to ask me out? Rachel Green : Well yeah... Ross Geller : Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think she's cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never! Rachel Green : Really?! Ross Geller : Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!" Rachel Green : Oh so-so not really never. Ross Geller : I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all we've been through, I just-y'know I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho, and mine! Monica Geller : Chandler, I think I'm sick. Chandler Bing : Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe! Monica Geller : Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no-no-no, you are not getting me this way. Monica Geller : Come on! I really need your help! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no! Monica Geller : Fine, I'll rub it on myself. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : So you're just, kinda rubbing it on yourself? Monica Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : It's nice. Monica Geller : Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on? Chandler Bing : Yes! Monica Geller : I can't believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell? Chandler Bing : It's all very, very good. So you wanna go uh, mix it up? Monica Geller : Not now, I'm sick! Chandler Bing : Oh come on you big faker! Monica Geller : What happened to your rule about never sleeping with sick people? Chandler Bing : Well that was before all the vaporizing action. Monica Geller : Okay, if you really wanna have sex... Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Worked like a charm. Jill Green : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Wh-what are you doing here? Jill Green : This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? Rachel Green : Well, I-I don't like it. Jill Green : Really?! Rachel Green : It's kinda slutty. Jill Green : It's yours! Rachel Green : Yeah well, I'm-I'm a slut. Jill Green : Me too. Ross Geller : Hi Jill! Jill Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi . Rachel Green : Rachel. Ross Geller : Rachel! Well, you-you're not at home, you're-you're-you're right here. Rachel Green : Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But it's not! Ross Geller : Okay. So well I'll umm, I'll have her home by midnight. Rachel Green : Why aren't you home yet?! Monica Geller : Is someone there? Rachel Green : Oh yes, it's me! Sorry! Chandler Bing : What are you doing here? Rachel Green : Uh, I'm just, I'm just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing? Chandler Bing : We got some Vap-O-Rub in some places. Rachel Green : Oh, he brought her back to his apartment. Monica Geller : Who? Is that your sister? Rachel Green : Ugh, she is a slut! Monica Geller : God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?! Rachel Green : Oh my God, look-look he's taking off her clothes! Chandler Bing : He's taking off her coat! Rachel Green : Oh, this is just terrible. Monica Geller : Oh no it's not, no it's not. It's a first date. I'm sure that nothing is gonna... Rachel Green : Oh. Chandler Bing : Ho-oh, he's gonna get some! Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Y'know so umm, he's closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. Well, I'm off to bed! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh... Oh wait, I don't have to lie to you, you don't live here anymore. Uh, I'm eating their food. What are you doing? Rachel Green : Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, I didn't know we could date your sister! Monica Geller : Joey we know you steal our food. Chandler Bing : I'm good. Monica Geller : Oh, are the drapes still closed hon? Rachel Green : Yeah. And y'know who should've shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over. Chandler Bing : Is that a swing? Rachel Green : Oh don't even ask! Chandler Bing : Yuck! Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe Ross went out with Rachel's sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years. Chandler Bing : That was like 5 years ago. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you got 5 years left! Chandler Bing : Joey... Joey Tribbiani : You wanna make it 6?! Rachel Green : Oh Ross, hi! Hey, how are ya? There you are! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : I'll take a coffee. So how was your big date last night? Ross Geller : Uhh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun. Rachel Green : Yeah fun? Great! So uh, so did you guys hit it off? Ross Geller : I guess so. Rachel Green : So uh, so did anything happen? Because rumor has it you guys shut the drapes! Ross Geller : No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils. Rachel Green : Oh, slides. So really nothing happened. Ross Geller : Something could've happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe. Rachel Green : Right. Was it the, "Please don't show me another picture of a trilobite vibe?" Ross Geller : Anyway, if she, if she wasn't in to me, why-why would she ask me out again? Rachel Green : She asked-asked you out again? Ross Geller : Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentine's Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean. Rachel Green : Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I can't! I can't! I can't! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just can't. It's just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I can't do it! I can't do it. Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Okay! It's okay. It's okay. Hey, it's too weird for you, I won't see her again. Rachel Green : Thank you. I...yeah. Ross Geller : I mean after tomorrow night. Rachel Green : No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I can't! I can't do it! It's just gonna freak me out!!! Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Ooh-hey-hey-hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll-I'll tell her tonight I can't see her anymore. Rachel Green : Ross thanks. Ross Geller : You want me to call her right now? Rachel Green : Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on that's-that's crazy-I mean that's crazy. So what's-what's going on with you? What is going on with you? Ross Geller : Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester! Rachel Green : Yeah do it now, call right now. Monica Geller : This is my favorite part. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah me too. Phoebe Buffay : Oh y'know what's sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that. Chandler Bing : Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon! Joey Tribbiani : You didn't cry when Bambi's mother died? Chandler Bing : Yes it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer! Monica Geller : Chandler there's nothing wrong with crying! I mean you don't have to be so macho all the time. Chandler Bing : I'm not macho. Monica Geller : Yeah you're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Chandler Bing : No, I guess I just never really cried. Y'know? I'm not a crying kind of guy. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man there's gotta be something that gets you choked up! Like uh, uh oh, what if you saw a three-legged puppy? Chandler Bing : I'd be sad sure, but I wouldn't cry. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, what if the puppy said, "Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me." Chandler Bing : Cry?! I just found a talking puppy, I'm rich! Monica Geller : Oh, I've got it! I have got it! Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good! Phoebe Buffay : All right, what's going on there? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's Parent's Day, first grade. That's me with the janitor Martin. Monica Geller : Where were your parents? Chandler Bing : Oh they didn't want to come! Phoebe Buffay : Oh Chandler! Monica Geller : Poor thing! Phoebe Buffay : So that story doesn't make you cry? Chandler Bing : No! Look, I don't cry! It's not a big deal! Okay?! Joey Tribbiani : No! It's not okay! It's not okay at all!! You're dead inside!! The Fan : Excuse me. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? The Fan : Are you Phoebe Buffay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. The Fan : Can-can I get your autograph, I'm your biggest fan. Phoebe Buffay : Oh you're my biggest fan? I've always wanted to meet you! Hi! Sure! Yeah! The Fan : Wow! Wow, thanks a lot! I just wanna say, I think you're really talented. Phoebe Buffay : You're just saying that because you're my biggest fan. Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? He's a fan. Bye! Joey Tribbiani : So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya? The Fan : I have no idea what you're talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffay's autograph! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're Phoebe's fan! The Fan : Oh yeah! I've seen all her movies. Joey Tribbiani : Movies? The Fan : That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star. Joey Tribbiani : I don't think so. The Fan : No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store aren't gonna believe this! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Gunther, don't let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebe's a porn star! Gunther : Well, I wouldn't call her a star, but she's really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget. Jill Green : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Jill Green : You'll never believe what just happened, Ross just totally blew me off and he didn't even tell me why! Rachel Green : Ohhh well. Y'know what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! He's a real up-and-comer in Human Resources. Jill Green : Y'know, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I'm not gonna date some random guy from your work. Rachel Green : It's not random, it's Bob. Jill Green : It's probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesn't like the way I dress-No that can't be it. It's really gotta be the smart thing. Oh I'm so stupid! I'm just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl! Rachel Green : No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to. Jill Green : You asked him too?! Rachel Green : Hm-mmm. Jill Green : Why?! Rachel Green : Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history... Jill Green : I don't understand, do you want to go out with Ross? Rachel Green : No. Jill Green : You don't want him, but you don't want me to have him? Rachel Green : Y'know Bob in Human Resources... Jill Green : Ugh! I cannot believe you did this too me! You had me doubting how smart I was! You had me doubting my fashion sense! Rachel Green : Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just don't date Ross! There's a million other guys out there, you just... Jill Green : Hey! You have no right to tell me what to do. Rachel Green : I'm not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do! Jill Green : Why are you so jealous of me? Rachel Green : Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you can't have! Jill Green : Can't have?! Excuse me, the only thing I can't have is dairy! Rachel Green : All right, all right, well you just blew your chances at dating Bob! Jill Green : Who?! Rachel Green : In Human Resources!!!!!! Rachel Green : ...I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?! Monica Geller : You're jealous of Princess Caroline? Rachel Green : Do I have my own castle? Ross Geller : Hey! Uh, Phoebe's not here is she? Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Oh great! Did you get a movie? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I don't think it's the kind you're gonna like. Chandler Bing : You didn't get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night did you? Joey Tribbiani : Sort of... Monica Geller : Guys, what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe's a porn star! #ALL# : What?!! Chandler Bing : Phoebe Buffay In Buffay The Vampire Layer. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Monica Geller : That's Phoebe! Where did you get that? Joey Tribbiani : Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker. Ross Geller : And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didn't know he was in there. Rachel Green : Wow! I mean, I just-I can't, I can't believe this. Y'know, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe who's always been somewhat of a question mark. Monica Geller : This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, y'know she had such a terrible childhood. Chandler Bing : Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I don't do porn. Monica Geller : Yes, but you are dead inside. Joey Tribbiani : All right well, I'd better take that back. Monica Geller : Wh-what, why? Joey Tribbiani : We can't watch that! I mean that's Phoebe! Monica Geller : Yeah you're right, we can't-we shouldn't watch this. Rachel Green : Absolutely not. Monica Geller : Y'know maybe a little bit! Rachel Green : Probably just the first half. Joey Tribbiani : No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebe's our friend! Well, I'm not gonna watch it! Ross Geller : Yeah! Good for you Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Buffay : Ah, I thought I'd find you here, Nasforatool. The Vampire : Buffay, are you going to plunge your stake into my dark places? Buffay : Actually, I was kinda hoping it would be the other way around. Monica Geller : Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle? Chandler Bing : Her ankle is what you're watching? Rachel Green : Well it's hard to tell... Oh God, if she would just stop moving. Chandler Bing : She's just doing her job! Joey Tribbiani : You sick bastards! Rachel Green : Oh, it's a tattoo! That's weird, Phoebe doesn't... Wait that's Ursula! That's not Phoebe that is Ursula! Joey Tribbiani : Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! What's up? Oh my God! What am I doing?!! Monica Geller : Hey sweetie! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Chicken Soup for the Soul? Chandler Bing : There's no back to this couch! Monica Geller : Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff. Chandler Bing : Yeah I know, but I figured a shot y'know? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldn't think I was y'know, all dead inside. Monica Geller : Oh that's so sweet! Look Chandler I don't care if you can't cry, I love you. Chandler Bing : Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest. Monica Geller : Stop it! Chandler Bing : No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, we're up at the altar and I'm like this. Monica Geller : I won't care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you don't cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it won't matter to me. Chandler Bing : Okay, well I won't uh, worry about this anymore then. Monica Geller : And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And you're writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still can't shed one tiny tear, I know you'll be crying a river inside. Chandler Bing : Aww, I love you so... Monica Geller : What is wrong with you?!!! Chandler Bing : What?! Monica Geller : What?! You can't shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond! Chandler Bing : So you didn't mean any of that?! Monica Geller : No you robot!! Ross Geller : You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to... Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-that's just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, they've really taken a liking to me. Uhh what's-what's-what's the matter? Jill Green : Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know we're not supposed to see each other anymore and I'm okay with that, it's just that I don't know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it. Ross Geller : Of course, what happened? Jill Green : I don't want to talk about it. Ross Geller : Okay, umm... Jill Green : But you know what might really cheer me up? Ross Geller : What? Jill Green : Seeing some more of your super-cool slides. Ross Geller : Wow! Really?! Jill Green : Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand. Ross Geller : Well, I'd love to! Here, you wait right here and I'll go get the projector and my notes! Jill Green : Oh great! Thanks Ross, you're such a good friend! Ross Geller : Ohh! Rachel Green : Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I can't find her anywhere. Monica Geller : No, I haven't. Rachel Green : Well, is Ross home? Maybe I'll just call him to see if he's actually seen her. Ursula Buffay : Who is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's Phoebe! Phoebe! Ursula Buffay : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God. So-so you're making porn movies. Ursula Buffay : No I'm not. Man's Voice : We're still rolling! Phoebe Buffay : You're making one right now! Another Man's Voice : Let's go Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : And-and you're using my name! Ursula Buffay : Yeah, can I help you with something? Same Man's Voice : Phoebe, come on! Phoebe Buffay : Look, I'm talking right now! You're-you mean her. Ursula Buffay : Y'know, twin stuff is always a real big seller. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ursula Buffay : Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars. Phoebe Buffay : No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! And shame on all of you! You're disgusting! Especially you with that! Ross Geller : Slides are almost ready. Jill Green : Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol! Ross Geller : Uh okay, well there's-there's wine in the kitchen. Jill Green : Oh great! Ross Geller : Hello? Rachel Green : What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?! Ross Geller : O-okay, Rach calm-calm down, okay? She-she's really upset we're just talking. Rachel Green : Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me! Ross Geller : So that's the only reason she could be here huh? It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe I'm a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show! Rachel Green : Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me! Ross Geller : Y'know what? I think I can take care of myself, I'll talk to you later. Good-bye. Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that you're just using me. Jill Green : So? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : So, I just came from the company Ursula works for. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, not you too! Phoebe Buffay : No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffay's checks; there were a lot of them. Joey Tribbiani : Nice! Phoebe Buffay : Um-mmm, and I won't have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address. Joey Tribbiani : That's great, but isn't it gonna bother that people still think you're a porn star? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! No! I know how to handle it. Joey Tribbiani : You do? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. You're trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, I'll give you a hint. From porn! Okay? Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! See? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : You uh, you may have been right about Jill. Rachel Green : Oh! I knew it! What happened? Ross Geller : Umm, she kissed me. Rachel Green : What?! You kissed! Chandler Bing : Maybe we should give them some privacy. Monica Geller : Shhhh!!! Ross Geller : Look, I uh, I tried not to kiss her, okay? Rachel Green : Well, it doesn't sound like it! I mean, it's pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just don't kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing! Ross Geller : Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didn't stop it. I guess I-I just wasn't thinking... Rachel Green : Yeah that's right you weren't thinking! Y'know what? Let me give you something to think about! Ross Geller : Oh wait-hold it! But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing. Rachel Green : Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sister's mouth long enough to tell me that. Ross Geller : Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : No, I mean, look I don't know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I don't want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector. Rachel Green : Wow. I, I don't even know what to say. Thank you. Ross Geller : You're welcome. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Are-are you crying? Chandler Bing : I just don't see why those two can't work things out! Jill Green : All right, I'm leaving! Because I'm not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. That's you Rachel! Rachel Green : Yeah, I got that. Jill Green : And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you? Ross Geller : You take care Jill. Jill Green : Okay, see ya! Rachel Green : Bye-bye-e! Monica Geller : Bye. Chandler Bing : I-I can't believe Jill's gone. I can't help it, I opened a gate. Rachel Green : Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : What is the matter with you?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Barry and Mindy. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. Who-who's Barry and Mindy? Rachel Green : Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh-oh, wasn't he cheating on you with her? Rachel Green : Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me. Monica Geller : Why did they get divorced? Rachel Green : Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isn't that sad? God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be? Ross Geller : I know what you mean, I've always wondered how different my life would be if-if I'd never gotten divorced. Phoebe Buffay : Which time? Ross Geller : The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian. Joey Tribbiani : I can't. I keep seeing it the good way. Ross Geller : I'd bet I'd still be doing my kara-tay. Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from y'know, not doing anything else physical. Chandler Bing : Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay. Monica Geller : And what if I was still fat? Well, you wouldn't be dating me, that's for sure. Chandler Bing : Sure I would! #ALL# : Oh yeah! Come on! Yeah right! Chandler Bing : What, you guys really think that I'm that shallow? Ross Geller : No, I just think Monica was that fat. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! Oh-hey, there's Carol again! Chandler Bing : What if I had had the guts to quit my job? I'd probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my job's fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I don't have to wear a tie. Phoebe Buffay : What if I had taken that job at Merrill Lynch? Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Merrill Lynch? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks. Rachel Green : Well why didn't you take the job? Phoebe Buffay : Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So I thought y'know that if I'd work with stocks, I'd have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox. Ross Geller : Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, we'd still hang out? Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green? Rachel Green : Rob Tillman! Ross Geller : No-no. It's-it's me, Ross! Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tillman. Ross Geller : No, no-no, Ross Geller. Rachel Green : Ohh, of course Monica's brother! Ross Geller : Yeah. Right. Rachel Green : Wow! How are you?! Ross Geller : Good-good, I'm-I'm married. Rachel Green : Ohh! Me too! Ross Geller : Is-isn't it the best? Rachel Green : Oh, it's the best! So, umm how's Monica? Ross Geller : Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually she's right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi. Rachel Green : Ohh, I would love too. Ross Geller : Yeah? Oh-oh, she'd be so excited! Rachel Green : Ohh! Okay! Ross Geller : Come on! Rachel Green : Oh wait, don't you have to pay for your, Busty Ladies? Ross Geller : No, it's okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I don't... Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : But! Don't you have to give him his money back? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. Okay, let's go see Monica! Joey Tribbiani : So Monica, still going out with Dr. Boring huh? Monica Geller : He's not boring! He's just-he's just low key. Monica's Boyfriend : Here we go, one Hazelnut Latte. Monica Geller : Thanks. Monica's Boyfriend : Yeah. Y'know, the hazelnut actually not a nut, it's a seed. Joey Tribbiani : Wow!! Monica's Boyfriend : Can anyone else name a well known seed that's been masquerading as a nut? Joey Tribbiani : Oh dear God, let me think. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh no! What's the matter? Chandler Bing : Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny." Monica's Boyfriend : Y'know what honey? I got to get back to the hospital. Monica Geller : Okay. Monica's Boyfriend : Okay. Monica Geller : Bye. Monica's Boyfriend : Bye-bye. Oh uh, by the way, the answer is, the Brazil nut. Chandler Bing : Was his question what's more boring than him? Joey Tribbiani : Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you some money? Chandler Bing : Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Chandler Bing : Ehh. Monica Geller : Maybe Joey doesn't have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right? Joey Tribbiani : That's an idea! Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her? Monica Geller : No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff! Joey Tribbiani : That's great! That would be great! Let's do that! Chandler Bing : I could use the money; it could give me time to write. Joey Tribbiani : Oh right great! Welcome aboard! Chandler Bing : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I don't need any assistance in there, take a break! Chandler Bing : All right! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe! Guess what? Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh that's so sweet! Oh! Hang on! Hang onnnnnn!!! Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, it's a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, it's okay. It's okay, you're allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired. Ross Geller : Hey Mon! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Mon, look who I ran into! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Rachel!! You look terrific! Rachel Green : Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? Monica Geller : You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds! Ross Geller : And, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hey. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Ross Geller : And that's Phoebe over there! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long as it been since we've seen each other? Ross Geller : 1987, the day after Christmas, at Sean McMahon's party. I played you one of my songs, y'know Interplanetary Courtship Ritual. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Right. So now, are-do you, do you still do music? Ross Geller : Sometimes, you should come over sometime! I'll play you one of my other... Rachel Green : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives, just walked in here! Monica Geller : Rach, he's a friend of ours. Rachel Green : You are friends with Dr. Drake Remoray? Chandler Bing : Well it's kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that he's not real. Ross Geller : Hey-hey, or I could bring my keyboard over here sometime! Rachel Green : He's coming over! He's coming over! Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : I know, here-here!! Monica Geller : Ohhh! No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you... Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's always nice to meet the fans. Rachel Green : Ah! Joey Tribbiani : She's not crazy is she? Monica Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : So uh, how you doin'? Phoebe Buffay : Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Go!! Who's this? Oh okay, you're gonna like working for me. What's your name? What kind of name is Brendy? I... Whatever... Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name. Joey Tribbiani : Hey there you are! Chandler Bing : Uh-oh, it's my boss! Joey Tribbiani : All right, here's a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work I'm delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! Chandler Bing : Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans. Monica Geller : You realize what you are don't you? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : You're his bitch. Phoebe Buffay : No-no!! No!! Monica Geller : Oh wait! You didn't just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!! Phoebe Buffay : No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars. Chandler Bing : But the Kit-Kats are all right?! Phoebe Buffay : What am I gonna do?! What am I gonna do?! I can't call my office they'll kill me! I can't call my clients they'll kill themselves! Great, now my chest hearts. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : My chest hurts! Oh, and now I-I can't breathe. Chandler Bing : Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, if I were, would-would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm? Monica Geller : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : Then yes that is what I'm having. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Come on Pheebs, it's not that bad! Y'know most people would be excited if they didn't have to work for a couple of weeks. Phoebe Buffay : Most people don't like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and I'm already going crazy. I miss Joan. Monica Geller : Honey, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow it down. Chandler Bing : I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die! But you're not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today. I wish I was dead. Monica Geller : Let's take a walk. Y'know maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! Phoebe Buffay : So what's going on with you? Ross Geller : Well umm, I've been doing a lot more of my kara-tay. Phoebe Buffay : Still going through that dry spell with Carol? Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : How long has it been since you had sex? Ross Geller : Well, last weekend... Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's not so bad. Ross Geller : ...will be two months... Phoebe Buffay : That is. Ross Geller : ...since I stopped trying. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe you need to spice things up a little. Ross Geller : What-what do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other... Ross Geller : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, dirty talk, mnage trois, toys... Ross Geller : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Roll playing... You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench! Ross Geller : Okay, I think I got it. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and you're-you're-you're rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybody's watching! It never happened. Monica Geller : Sorry. So how's it going with Joey? Chandler Bing : Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, "Bring me food." Two is, "I'm with a girl, bring us food." Three is, "I'm lost and I can't find food." Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Is uh, is she gonna be all right? Monica Geller : Yeah! She's right in there! Joey Tribbiani : Oh great. Hey! Go take off those pants, they look ready! Joey Tribbiani : All right, and over there is Brady's Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning. Rachel Green : Wow! This is so amazing! What else? What else? Joey Tribbiani : Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. And uh that is an old man! Hey old man! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : All righty, what do you say we head back to my place? Rachel Green : Wow! Umm, y'know, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldn't. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Why can't the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us? Rachel Green : Isn't that a line from the show?! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, yeah but uh, I may have said those things before but, I never truly meant them. Until now. Rachel Green : That's a line from the show too! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, you watch too much TV. Chandler Bing : Here you go Joe, here's the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Yeah, there's pulp in that. Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : I thought we talked about this. I don't like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isn't juice. All juice, okay? Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I guess I just like the pulp. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm being so rude. Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it. Rachel Green : Yeah sure, iced tea would be great. Joey Tribbiani : Iced tea. Chandler Bing : Okay, anything for you sir? Joey Tribbiani : Did I not just tell him? Rachel Green : Yes, you did. Joey Tribbiani : Okay look, Chandler, if this you have got to listen! You're gonna throw that juice at me, aren't ya? Chandler Bing : It's not all juice! Ross Geller : So honey, this morning was fun, huh? Me hopping in on you in the shower there. Carol Willick : Yeah! And maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms. Ross Geller : Look Carol umm, I was, I was thinking maybe uh, maybe we can spice things up a little. Carol Willick : What do you mean? Ross Geller : Carol our sex life is-it's just not working... Ben Geller : Dad!! Ross Geller : Hey there little fella! Hey, uh-hey, why don't we get some shoes on ya, huh? Hey, why don't you show dad how you can put your shoes on, in your room! Yay!! Ben Geller : Yay! Ross Geller : Yay! Seriously, our sex life... I was thinking, maybe I don't know, we could try some-some new things. Y'know? For fun? Carol Willick : Like what? Ross Geller : Well I don't know umm, what if we were too tie each other up? Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. Nah! Umm, y'know we-we could try dirty talk? Umm, we could, we could have a threesome. Carol Willick : I love that idea! Chandler Bing : Who sold a story to Archie Comics?! Monica Geller : Oh my God! That's great! Oh wow! You're a published writer! I wish I had a present for you! Chandler Bing : Aww. Monica Geller : Wait a minute! My last Kit-Kat bar! Chandler Bing : You wanna share it? Monica Geller : Okay!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know you're mad, but I just want to say I'm sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Y'know? I mean, y'know how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise? Monica Geller : It's not mayonnaise!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, o-o-o-o-okay anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Here. Chandler Bing : What's this? Joey Tribbiani : Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it. Chandler Bing : Aww, thanks man. Monica Geller : Hey Joey, Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! That's great! Congratulations! What's the story?! Chandler Bing : Oh you wouldn't uh, care. It's just a stupid comic book story. Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me?! I love Archie! And the whole gang! Chandler Bing : Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy , uh but he doesn't want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assist-as his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that can't have lumps in them. Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar! Did they already do that one? 'Cause I think I read it! Rachel Green : Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls? Monica Geller : Yeah, a lot. A lot, a lot! Rachel Green : Ohh! And I'm one of them!! Wow! Oh, I just cannot believe this! I mean, Joey Tribbiani! Monica Geller : Well, y'know it's none of my business, but aren't you married? Rachel Green : Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Y'know I just wish we could be like on a break! Monica Geller : Well, you're not. Rachel Green : Oh, it's so easy for you I mean, you're not married, you get to have sex with who ever you want! Monica Geller : Yeah I can! And don't think I don't, because I do! I mean all the time, you betcha! Rachel Green : Monica. You've, you've done it right? Monica Geller : Of course I have! What do you think, I'm some 30 year old virgin? Rachel Green : Oh my God! You're a 30 year old virgin! Monica Geller : Say it louder, I don't think the guy all the way in the back heard you! Guy All The Way In The Back : Yeah, I heard it. Monica Geller : It's not like, I haven't any opportunities. I mean, y'know, I'm just waiting for the perfect guy. I'm seeing this guy Roger, all right? He's not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Y'know, give him my flower. Rachel Green : Oh my God!! Do it!! Honey, you've waited long enough!! Monica Geller : Y'know what? You are right?! Rachel Green : Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldn't be all this rules and restrictions! Y'know, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever... Monica Geller : Rachel! I'm never gonna think it's okay for you to cheat on your husband! Rachel Green : Oh what do you know? Virgin! Monica Geller : Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, the doctor said that could be one of the side effects. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Put that cigarette out! Phoebe Buffay : No! It's not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me! Monica Geller : Put it out!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Okay! I'm so glad you're here. Ross Geller : Come on. I got it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, give it to me. Ross Geller : I got it! Phoebe Buffay : Give it! Ross Geller : Hello? No she can't come to the phone right now. Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?! Ross Geller : J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better. Phoebe Buffay : Thank God. Ross Geller : Yeah, she's fired. Nurse : You've done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go. Dr. Wesley : Good-bye and God speed, Hope Brady. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Not so fast Wesley! Dr. Wesley : Remoray! Dr. Drake Ramoray : That's right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, you're not a real doctor! And that woman's brain, is fine! Rachel Green : Oh! Thank God! Dr. Drake Ramoray : Hope! Hope! Hope : Drake! Dr. Drake Ramoray : You're not dying Hope, you're gonna live a long, healthy life. With me. Hope : Oh Drake. Rachel Green : Okay! Here we go! Okay! Hi, Joey! It's Rachel! Umm, I am free tomorrow night. Yeah, sure, sure I can bring some sandwiches. Ross Geller : So honey this uh, this threesome thing umm, I mean how-how are you gonna start to find... Carol Willick : Ooh, actually I've been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this! Ross Geller : Oh. Wow! Huh. Boy! Well, someone's been doing their homework. Carol Willick : Yeah. Ooh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so... Ross Geller : Oh, I know. Y'know, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda... Carol Willick : Oh, me too. Ross Geller : Yeah? Well, I-I think Ben's asleep. Carol Willick : Oh umm, y'know I think it would be better if we just save it. Ross Geller : Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that. Ross Geller : Hey, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey, how's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I've got to get out of this bed, I'm going crazy here. Crazy! Monica Geller : Here you go sweetie. Phoebe Buffay : What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea! Monica Geller : But, I put some honey in it. Ross Geller : She doesn't know she was fired yet, does she? Chandler Bing : No, the doctors say it may kill her. Phoebe Buffay : What are you two girls whispering about over there?! Chandler Bing : But I think we should tell her. Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, what is this? A stupid contest? Because we got a winner here! Chandler Bing : Listen Phoebe, he's right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31. Phoebe Buffay : I know! But if I didn't work there, what else would I do? Monica Geller : Well, you used to like playing the guitar. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that was lucrative! Smart like your brother! Chandler Bing : Uh, what about y'know the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack. Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, pulling in a salary in the high six figures or rubbing gross naked people for chump change-ooh, what do I do?! What will I do?! Rachel Green : Ohh, I mean it's just so realistic! Joey Tribbiani : I know. Yeah, his name is Pat. Rachel Green : Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it!! Joey Tribbiani : Do you uh, do you-ready for a refill? Rachel Green : Oh, I probably shouldn't-so I will! Oh! Wow! It's like it's raining! Joey Tribbiani : Pretty cool, huh? But if you're thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldn't get sucked up into the mechanism, well you'd be wrong. Rachel Green : Umm, can I use your bathroom? Joey Tribbiani : It's uh, right through there. Rachel Green : Okay. God y'know, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbiani's apartment... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, life's pretty great isn't it? Rachel Green : Yeah, it sure is! Monica Geller : I hope you're hungry, we're starting with oysters. And y'know what they say about oysters, don't you? Dr. Roger : They have parasites? Monica Geller : No! Umm well, some people say that Oysters are an aphrodisiac. Dr. Roger : What people? Monica Geller : People! People say it! Come here! Dr. Roger : So oysters, huh? Monica Geller : And then we're gonna have a little Middle Eastern cous-cous. Something we can eat, with our hands. Dr. Roger : Y'know, it's funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases... Monica Geller : No-no-no, no! It's sensual! Dr. Roger : Ohh! Didn't know! Okay! Monica Geller : Okay! Ohhh no! Dr. Roger : I'm sorry sweetie, it's the hospital. The food looks great, maybe save me some? Monica Geller : I can't promise anything. Ross Geller : We're really gonna do this, huh? Carol Willick : Looks like it. Ross Geller : Y'know, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at... Carol Willick : I got it! Ross Geller : Okay. Carol Willick : Susan! Hi! Susan Bunch : Hey! Carol Willick : Thank you so much for coming. Susan Bunch : Oh, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Ross Geller : I'm-I'm Ross by the way. Susan Bunch : Hello Ross. I love what you've done with this space. Carol Willick : Thank you so much. Ross Geller : How hot is this?! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry you're here with me instead of Roger. Monica Geller : Yeah, me too. Chandler Bing : Well, I could make it seem like he's here. "Here's some little known facts about cous-cous. They didn't add the second cous until 1979." Monica Geller : Stop it!! That's not funny!! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, okay? It just-tonight was supposed to be y'know, it was supposed to be a big deal. Chandler Bing : What was tonight? Monica Geller : You don't want to know what tonight was. Chandler Bing : Okay. What was tonight? Monica Geller : Well, tonight was-was going to be my first time. Chandler Bing : With Roger? Not just with Roger?! Oh my God! Monica Geller : All right relax Mr. I've Had Sex Four Times! Chandler Bing : Four different women! I've had sex way more times! Monica Geller : How many? Chandler Bing : Nine. Monica Geller : I was just waiting for the perfect guy. Chandler Bing : Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy? Monica Geller : No. He's not a horrible guy. Chandler Bing : Hey that's what I tell girls about me. Monica Geller : Chandler, I'm gonna die a virgin! Chandler Bing : No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you. Monica Geller : Oh really? When? Do you wanna do it with me? Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : I was kidding. Chandler Bing : So was I. Rachel Green : Joey, you're such an amazing actor! How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins? Joey Tribbiani : Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own. Rachel Green : Wow! Tell me something Joey--Whoa! I just fell right off the couch there. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you did. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Here you go. Let me ask you a question. Rachel Green : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : When was the last time someone told you just how beautiful you are? Rachel Green : Wow! I can't, I can't feel my hands. Joey Tribbiani : Come, come here. Chandler Bing : We can't do this. Monica Geller : No! Oyster? Chandler Bing : Yeah! If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, y'know? Because you've been waiting a very long time and I wouldn't want to disappoint you. Monica Geller : Yeah but see I have nothing to compare it too. So even if you're horrible, how would I know? Chandler Bing : I do like that. Monica Geller : It's harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with! Chandler Bing : Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right? Monica Geller : Absolutely! It would just be one friend helping out another friend. Chandler Bing : Stop it! We're doing this! Let's do it! Monica Geller : Noo!! Okay!! Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Umm, do you have any uhh, moves? Chandler Bing : I have some moves. Monica Geller : I have no moves. Okay, whatcha doin' there?! Oh y'know what? I'm sorry, this is just too weird. Chandler Bing : Yeah, let's just forget it. Monica Geller : What if I turn out the lights? Chandler Bing : Okay! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah. Monica Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : That's the couch. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : I know! I'll tell you something, we are gonna do that again! Chandler Bing : Oh, okay! Joey Tribbiani : Morning! Rachel Green : Oh right. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh God. Oh I can't believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up! Joey Tribbiani : Well he actually saw you a little bit too. Rachel Green : Noo! Oh God we did-we didn't, we didn't uhh... Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No, not after seeing that. Rachel Green : God I'm just a horrible person. Joey Tribbiani : Wh-why? Rachel Green : Because I'm married. That's right, I am a married woman! And I came to a TV star's apartment to have an affair! Uck! Joey Tribbiani : That's ridiculous! I'm not a "Star," just a regular famous actor. Rachel Green : Yeah and I'm a horrible, horrible person. Joey Tribbiani : Rachel, would you stop saying that?! Hey-hey look, remember on the show when-when Caprice was dying and she gave me... Rachel Green : The ring from the cave, yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Uh okay, well uh... Rachel Green : Oh my God, they let you keep that stuff?! Joey Tribbiani : Sure! As long as they don't find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it. Rachel Green : No! No-no-no... Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, you've had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didn't. And that's what this ring stands for. Rachel Green : But I thought that ring stood for Caprice's undying love for her brother. Joey Tribbiani : Look, do you want the ring or not?! Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Look at you! You're up! Joey Tribbiani : All right! Phoebe Buffay : I thought I'd try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? I'll be back soon. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa! You're not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya? Phoebe Buffay : No. I've learned my lesson. Phoebe Buffay : Let's go! Come on! Move it! Come on! Shoes! Briefcase! Thanks Lou, good luck with the gall bladder. Ross Geller : Hey Joe did... Did you ever have a threesome? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carol's great and I'm sure you're a very attractive man, but I.... Ross Geller : No! The reason I'm asking is that... I sorta had one last night. Joey Tribbiani : You? Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Ross Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : All right! So, was it amazing? Ross Geller : It was, it was okay. Joey Tribbiani : Just okay-Did you do it right?! Ross Geller : Look, it's just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I weren't here?" Joey Tribbiani : Huh. But still Ross, you're worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Y'know what I mean? Ross Geller : Oh-oh, absolutely! Ross Geller : It's just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around. Joey Tribbiani : But you got to be with both of them, right? Ross Geller : Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol. Joey Tribbiani : Not the other one? Ross Geller : No, she kept kicking me away! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you don't want that. Ross Geller : No! Joey Tribbiani : Well hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff, right? Ross Geller : Oh I a lot of stuff! Joey Tribbiani : You got a little bored? Ross Geller : A little. Yeah. I made a snack. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? What did ya have? Ross Geller : Just a sandwich. Turkey, a little mustard... Joey Tribbiani : Sounds good. Ross Geller : It really was! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you! Monica Geller : Hey, check me out, I'm a slut! Chandler Bing : So you uh, want to do something tonight? Monica Geller : Oh I can't. Dr. Roger is coming over again. Chandler Bing : Oh. Oh right! Right! Because you're still seeing him and uh, he's a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when... Monica Geller : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Totally! Totally, and you? Monica Geller : Great! It's so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you I'm all like, "Can the doctor see me now?" Chandler Bing : I bet he can. Monica Geller : Y'know, I don't have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. Are you sure you're okay? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Yeah! Don't worry about me, I'll be fine! Rachel Green : Ohh! My God! Barry!! Barry Farber : You-you-you said you were gonna be away all weekend! Rachel Green : Oh that's right! I'm sorry! I-I am early! Finish! Please!! Phoebe Buffay : Surprise! Look who's back! Arthur : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Arthur : Call security. Pheebs, didn't you get fired? Phoebe Buffay : Uh, I don't think so! Jack : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Jack!! Hey! Jack : What are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh? Jack : Well, you were fired. Phoebe Buffay : Nu-uh! Jack : I told that guy who answered your phone. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay I didn't get that message. So this doesn't count-Anyway, I'll be in my office. Jack : Uh, Phoebe you-you don't have an office. Phoebe Buffay : That's all right, I'll work here. This is goo, next to this plant. Jack : Phoebe, listen... Phoebe Buffay : You're in my office! Look, I have made a lot of cash for this company! Okay? I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake... Jack : You lost 13 million dollars. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, so this is all about money! Y'know it's bad enough that-Ow! Oh, you have got to be kidding! Jack : Are you all right? Phoebe Buffay : I'm having another heart attack! Jack : What?! Phoebe Buffay : I'm having another heart attack!! Call 9-1-1!! Jack : Take it easy. Phoebe Buffay : Dumbass! Woman : Hey Pheebs! How's it going?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, they fired me and I'm having heart attack. Woman : Wow! Well, welcome back! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Hi Ross! Ross Geller : Hey Rachel. Rachel Green : Is Joey Tribbiani here? Ross Geller : Umm, no. Rachel Green : Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that I'm looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up! Ross Geller : That-that's always good news. Are you okay? Rachel Green : Me? I'm great! I'm fine! I'm sooo good!! But, you know who's not great?! Men! You're a man right Ross?! Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Sit down! Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you we're going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbor's dog walker?! Ross Geller : We're sorry. Rachel Green : No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage? Ross Geller : Didn't you spend last night at Joey's? Rachel Green : Aw what are you?! A detective? Ross Geller : Look I-I don't know what's going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym! Rachel Green : Who are these men? Ross Geller : Men. I guy I know. Rachel Green : Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is gay. Ross Geller : She is not... She's gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I can't believe this. Rachel Green : Good day for married people huh? Ross Geller : I'm sorry your husband cheated on you. Rachel Green : I'm sorry your wife is gay. I guess women aren't that great either. Ross Geller : Try telling my wife that. Chandler Bing : Okay to come in? Monica Geller : Yeah, come on, eat, whatever you want. Dr. Roger got beeped again. Chandler Bing : Yeah I know, guess who beeped him? Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : I'm the ruptured spleen. Monica Geller : Why would you do that? Chandler Bing : Because you shouldn't be with him. You should be with me. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they don't just happen. Y'know? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning y'know I was just lying there and I couldn't wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always y'know with a friend. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : I know you probably don't want to go out with me, y'know because I make too many jokes and I've never been in a serious relationship and I guess I'm not technically a "doctor..." Monica Geller : There was just one woman, wasn't there? Chandler Bing : No, there were two. Monica Geller : Including me? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah. Phoebe Buffay : It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see.../One of them won't do it, but the second one will set you free.../Tell all your hate and anger, it's time to say good-bye.../And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die!/La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la...... Ross Geller : Hey, remember when I had a monkey? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Yeah, what, what was I thinking? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So, what's with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong? Chandler Bing : Twenty percent is a pretty generous tip Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what's more generous than that?! Fifty percent! Y'know what's even more generous than that?!! Chandler Bing : I see where you're goin'! Ross Geller : What's up with the greed Joe? Joey Tribbiani : All right, look I'm sorry you guys, but it's just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And they're really expensive, y'know? I'm down to like three! Well, actually two 'cause one of 'em I kinda blackened in some teeth-Why did I do that?! Ross Geller : Well isn't there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, can't-can't you pick up, I don't know, an extra shift here? Phoebe Buffay : Or, y'know, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if you've got y'know a little of this goin' on. Wow! I still have it! Ross Geller : Oh, wait! Wait! Don't you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe you'll get that job! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time! Chandler Bing : Ah, finally an explanation. Joey Tribbiani : No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Let's see uh, well I don't want to donate sperm again. I really prefer doing that at the home office y'know? Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh? Gunther : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Gunther : What did I tell you about talking to your friends while you're working? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh do it? Gunther : That guy has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! He's complained about you three times! Joey Tribbiani : Well, where was I? Ross Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, what have you guys been up to? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! We went to a self-defense class today! Ross Geller : Wow! Rachel Green : Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of ya! Joey Tribbiani : Takes it out of you? Phoebe Buffay : Now, we can kick anybody's ass! Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : After one class? I don't think so. Rachel Green : What? You wanna see me self-defend myself?! Go over there and pretend you're a sexual predator! Go on! I dare ya!! Ross Geller : Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, that's not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and there's a concept you should really be familiar with. It's what the Japanese call unagi. Rachel Green : Isn't that a kind of sushi? Ross Geller : No, it's a concept! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah it is! It is! It's freshwater eel! Ross Geller : All right, maybe it means that too... Rachel Green : Ohh! I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now! Ross Geller : Y'know what? Fine! Get attacked! I don't even care! Phoebe Buffay : Come on Ross. We're sorry. Please tell us what it is. Ross Geller : Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you! Phoebe Buffay : You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish? Ross Geller : All I'm saying is, it's one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I don't know, like a surprise!! Ross Geller : All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesn't mean you have unagi. Rachel Green : Ooh! Y'know what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour. Ross Geller : Y'know what... Chandler Bing : Hey-hey, is Monica here? Phoebe Buffay : No. Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Okay, look I need your help, I don't know what to get her for Valentine's Day. Rachel Green : Well, Valentine's Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldn't get her a calendar! Chandler Bing : She was working on Valentine's Day so we're celebrating it tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, hey! Why don't you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas? Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, Joey, that's actually a really good idea! Joey Tribbiani : And of course, crotchless panties. Chandler Bing : Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend and her brother, I can't do that we promised we'd make each other gifts this year. Rachel Green : Aw, I love that. Phoebe Buffay : You guys! Joey Tribbiani : You can't make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut... Rachel Green : Okay-okay-okay! So, making things. That sounds like so much fun. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I love paper mache! What did you make? Chandler Bing : I made a... Phoebe Buffay : What is that? Chandler Bing : Nothing! Ross Geller : So what are you gonna do? Chandler Bing : Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! Oh for crying out loud! Rachel Green : Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock! Phoebe Buffay : Now, it's you little bunny friend. Chandler Bing : This, this actually is a... Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentine's Day gifts? Monica Geller : Oh, yeah. Chandler Bing : Do we have to make the entire thing? Monica Geller : Yes! Why, did you-you forget to make yours? Chandler Bing : Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up. Monica Geller : Okay. Okay, I can't wait! This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever! I can't believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : I'm just so excited to make the presents! Shoot! Joey Tribbiani : Hi uh, I'm Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect I'd like to donate some fluids. Receptionist : We're actually at the end of one of our research cycles, so we're not looking for applicants right now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's too bad. I've kinda been saving up. Uh, are you sure there's no studies I can participate in? Receptionist : Well, here's a schedule of what's coming up. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Well but this one starts now. Receptionist : Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. It's a twins study. Joey Tribbiani : But it's $2,000. Receptionist : Sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists. Receptionist : We already got the results back on that on, and they're not good. Ross Geller : DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Ross!!! Rachel Green : What the hell was that?! Ross Geller : A lesson in the importance of unagi. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, you're a freak!! Ross Geller : Perhaps. Now I'm curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass? Rachel Green : All right, so we weren't prepared! Ross Geller : I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but I-look, I just want you guys to be safe. DANGER!!!!! Ahhh, huh? Unagi. Joey Tribbiani : 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Chandler. I sensed it was you. Chandler Bing : What?! Ross Geller : Unagi. I'm always aware. Chandler Bing : Okay, are you aware unagi is an eel? Ross Geller : What's up? Chandler Bing : I can't figure out what to make Monica. Ross Geller : Oh, why don't you make her one of your little jokes. Chandler Bing : I'm going crazy! Okay? Do you have any thing around here that looks homemade? Ross Geller : Y'know what? She'd-she'd love this. Uh, it's an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon. Ross Geller : Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didn't actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, I can't give this to her. Ross Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom. Ross Geller : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : DANGER!!!!! Rachel Green : Ahhhhh, salmon skin roll. Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay. Yes honey, I made it myself. I can't do it. I can't do it. Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! Chandler Bing : Hey! Hi! You uh, ready to exchange gifts? Monica Geller : Sure! Okay, you go first. Chandler Bing : Okay, come here! Come here. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Now, it's not wrapped because I just, just finished it. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs. Monica Geller : Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?! Chandler Bing : Maybe we'll have to listen and see! Monica Geller : Oh, I love it! Thank you so much! Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Okay, you ready to open yours? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : It's a sock bunny. Monica Geller : Yeah-yeah, you remember how I call you bunny? Chandler Bing : Not really. Monica Geller : Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See that's what this is about. Chandler Bing : I see. Y'know umm, Phoebe makes sock bunnies. Monica Geller : No! No, she doesn't. Uh Phoebe, what she makes-that's uh-they're sock rabbits. They are completely different-Okay! Okay! Okay! I didn't make it! I'm sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that we're supposed to make the presents! Chandler Bing : Oh, it's okay. I don't... Monica Geller : No-no, it's not okay! It's not! I mean you were just... You're so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Y'know I'm just gonna-I, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here , and I am going to do anything you want in there! Chandler Bing : Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. Chandler Bing : Wow! You are way to young to have seen that! Monica Geller : Oops! Y'know, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too? Chandler Bing : You are totally and completely 100% forgiven. Monica Geller : We have got to wash that! Chandler Bing : Yeah! Monica Geller : Do you remember that jacket that you love so much, that you thought was too expensive? Chandler Bing : You have done enough! Monica Geller : I wanna wake up early and go get it for you! Chandler Bing : No you don't-get it in black, not brown. Monica Geller : Oop, your cake is ready! Chandler Bing : Oop! Chandler Bing : Well, it's like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake. Joey's Look-A-Like : Hey Mon! Hey Chann! Just gettin' a soda! Monica Geller : Who the hell are you?! Joey's Look-A-Like : I'm Joey! How are you doin'?! Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! No! No! How you doin'?! How you doin'-Damnit Carl! Go wait in the hall! Joey Tribbiani : Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl. Chandler Bing : Who the hell is Carl?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project. Chandler Bing : Y'know sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, aren't they? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Y'know? The only problem is, Carl's acting is... Monica Geller : The only problem! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's the reason I didn't get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up. Carl (Joey's lookalike) : Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake? Joey Tribbiani : Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! Phoebe Buffay : Pat Sajak? Rachel Green : Yep! Phoebe Buffay : Alex Trebek? Rachel Green : Oh, of course! Phoebe Buffay : Chuck Woolery? Rachel Green : Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, who's ass I cannot kick. Rachel Green : Say it! Phoebe Buffay : Say we are unagi! Ross Geller : It's not something you are! It's something you have! Rachel Green : Say it! Ross Geller : Y'know what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt! Joey Tribbiani : All right Carl, we're next. Now remember, what is not gonna be? Carl (Joey's lookalike) : Another Minute Maid fiasco. Joey Tribbiani : That's right! And what are you not gonna do? Carl (Joey's lookalike) : Well, I'm not gonna talk because... Joey Tribbiani : Damnit Carl! The Doctor : Can I have the next one please? Joey and Tony Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : That's us. The Doctor : But uh, this is a study for identical twins. Joey Tribbiani : That's right, $2,000. The Doctor : But, you're not identical twins. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit Carl! Chandler Bing : Oh my good God. Monica Geller : Hey! Continuing the countdown of your favorite meals. Tonight, No. 3, macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs. Chandler Bing : Look, you have done enough! Okay? You have to stop this now. Monica Geller : I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me. Chandler Bing : Oh, the mixed tape. Monica Geller : The Way You Look Tonight is on here! Dance with me? Monica Geller : You are just the sweetest. Janice Litman Goralnik : I love the way you look every night Chandler! That's why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice! Chandler Bing : No! You're the sweetest! The Instructor : Okay ladies, that ends today's class, and let's remember, let's be safe out there. Ross Geller : It's a great class. The Instructor : Thanks. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, I was watching. Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next? The Instructor : Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them... Ross Geller : No. No-no. No. What would you do next? The Instructor : Who? Me the attacker? Ross Geller : Yes that's right. The Instructor : Why? Ross Geller : I tired attacking two women, did not work. The Instructor : What?! Ross Geller : No, I mean it's okay, I mean, they're-they're my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them. The Instructor : Let me get this straight man, you attacked your ex-wife?! Ross Geller : Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldn't. That's why I'm here. Maybe we could attack them together? That-that's a no. Chandler Bing : I am so, so, so, so sorry! Monica Geller : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : And I will cook anything you want in here , and do anything in there! Monica Geller : Yeah you will! And, are you kiddin' me?! Chandler Bing : Come on Monica, it's our Valentine's Day. Please? Please-please, please? Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Janice's Voice : My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart! Chandler Bing : So, are we going in there? Monica Geller : I am!! Janice's Voice : You're look for laughable... Ross Geller : Ah-ha, nowhere to run! Rachel Green : I don't like sitting up here! I'm just gonna over... Phoebe Buffay : No Rachel! They got here first! Phoebe Buffay : Why is Ross doing that? Ross Geller : DANGER!!!! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Why is he jumping on those women! Phoebe Buffay : We should help him! Rachel Green : I... Well, I don't think they need any help. Ross Geller : Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Geller's class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!" Chandler Bing : Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, there's a big selling calendar, eh? Rachel Green : Who wrote it? Ross Geller : Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, do you still have their final exams? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, 'cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, there's your admirer. Chandler Bing : A hot girl's at stake and all of the sudden he's Rain Man. Rachel Green : Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl? Ross Geller : It's a girl! Anyway, it wou-it wouldn't matter. Okay? Because I'm a teacher and she's a student. Chandler Bing : Oh, is that against the rules? Ross Geller : No, but it is frowned upon. Chandler Bing : I see. Ross Geller : Besides, there's a big age difference. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well think of it like this, when you're 90... Ross Geller : I know when I'm 90 she'll be like 80 and it won't seem like such a big difference. Joey Tribbiani : No that's not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when you're 90 you'll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler! Y'know that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class. Phoebe Buffay : What's a Movement class? Monica Geller : It's Chandler's way of pretending he didn't take mime. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well listen, anyway she's directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition! Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't know man. I haven't talked to her in like ten years. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much! Chandler Bing : You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred... Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what? Chandler Bing : Oh okay, I'll-I'll try. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Thanks! You're the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday? Chandler Bing : Yeah so, Tuesday? Joey Tribbiani : Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?! Chandler Bing : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Hey Mon? I'm gonna check my messages. Chandler Bing : You just thought of that in there? Monica Geller : Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did. Rachel Green : Hello? Uh, Rachel. Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops! Monica Geller : You're on the phone! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! How bad was it? Rachel Green : Well, he didn't say, but it was a fire. I'm guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go! Monica Geller : Come on! Chandler Bing : What are you smiling about? What is so funny? Joey Tribbiani : The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be! Burt : Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! Elizabeth Stevens : Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Yeah? Elizabeth Stevens : I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class. Ross Geller : Oh thank you. Thanks very much. Ow! Elizabeth Stevens : Uh, I'm a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation... Ross Geller : That was you? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. You're a teacher. I'm a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime? Ross Geller : Oh I, I don't-I don't think that would be the best idea. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh, because I was thinking, the semester's over; you're not my teacher anymore. Ross Geller : What time? Elizabeth Stevens : Oh, y'know what? Forget it, you already gave me an A. Ross Geller : Gotcha. Elizabeth Stevens : I'm kidding! Ross Geller : Oh! So-so seriously, what time? Phoebe Buffay : Coming through! Oh! Coming through! Oh! Hello! Hi! No! Right! Coming through! Monica Geller : Oh well, it's not so bad. Fireman #1 : Yeah, most of the damage is pretty mostly contained in the bedrooms. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Rachel Green : My God! Joey Tribbiani : Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday? Fireman #1 : Excuse me? Monica Geller : Joey! He's working! You would look good in that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, how bad is it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's bad. It's really bad. The only thing in there that isn't burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying! Chandler Bing : How's your room Rach? Rachel Green : Everything's ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. Monica Geller : Isn't that mine? Rachel Green : Fine! I'm sorry for your loss! Fireman #1 : So uh, you're not gonna be able to live here for a while, you ladies have a place to stay? Rachel Green : Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time. Monica Geller : Yes, they can stay with us. Chandler Bing : Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman? Fireman #1 : Well uh, do either of you smoke? Phoebe Buffay : No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now. Fireman #1 : No-no-no, do you uh light candles? Burn incense? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! It's me! It's me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house! Rachel Green : Okay Phoebe calm down, there's no need to place blame. Okay? I warned her about those candles. Chandler Bing : God, it's great to catch up! I can't believe how long it's been! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, is that... Chandler Bing : Oh that's great! Good for you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey listen... Chandler Bing : Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm... Can you hold for one second please? What?! Joey Tribbiani : When you're off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza? Chandler Bing : Hi! I'm back. Yeah, that sounds great. Okay. Well, we'll do it then. Okay, bye-bye. Joey Tribbiani : Hey listen, so when's-when's my audition? I mean I know it's Thursday, but what time? Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : We didn't get to the audition. I'm gonna take her to coffee and then we'll do it then. Joey Tribbiani : Ah-ha! Monica Geller : Wow! So, now you're going on a date with this girl? Chandler Bing : Honey, it is not a date! I haven't talked to her in ten years! You can't just call up somebody you haven't talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, y'know? You gotta, you got to put in some time. Monica Geller : You're right, I'm sorry. It's not like you're y'know, going out with an ex-girlfriend. Chandler Bing : No, we only went out once. Monica Geller : You dated her! Chandler Bing : Not once! Monica Geller : All right, well why don't I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. Chandler Bing : Oh that's great, my friend Joey's in the movie business. Dana Keystone : Y'know who I ran into from school? Howie. Chandler Bing : My friend's name is Joey. Dana Keystone : Apparently Howie's editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Y'know I-I-I haven't spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I've always hated that Howie. Dana Keystone : No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first! Chandler Bing : The nerve huh? Dana Keystone : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Refill? Monica Geller : Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay? Rachel Green : Oh my God! It sure didn't look this way when I lived here. Monica Geller : I know! Now look, there's only one problem though. There's only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joey's. Phoebe Buffay : Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess you should get to stay here. Rachel Green : Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no one's fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident. Phoebe Buffay : Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room. Rachel Green : Okay! Monica Geller : So Rach! You're the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, you'll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, y'know, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much. Rachel Green : I have. Joey Tribbiani : This right here is where I keep the pizza. And uh that's where the napkin is. Phoebe Buffay : What's that smell? Joey Tribbiani : I know! Elizabeth Stevens : Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me! Ross Geller : What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson. Elizabeth Stevens : Who? Ross Geller : Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyone's name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh yeah. So umm, did you have a nickname for me? Ross Geller : Umm, no. No. Elizabeth Stevens : Yes you did! What was it? Ross Geller : Umm, it's Cutie McPretty. Elizabeth Stevens : Ohh that's so sweet! Ross Geller : Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-I'm having a great time! Y'know how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but it's not. I mean it's not at all. Burt : Dr. Geller! Ross Geller : Burt! Phoebe Buffay : So did you sleep well last night? Rachel Green : I did. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what Joey left on my pillow? Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Gum! Fireman #2 : Well, we determined the cause of the fire. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle! Fireman #2 : No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. It's looks like a curling iron. Phoebe Buffay : I don't use a curling iron. Fireman #2 : Well someone does. Rachel Green : Well, don't look at me! My hair's straight! Straight! Straight! Straight! Fireman #2 : It could've been a hair straightener. Rachel Green : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : This is where I keep the pizza. And-Hey! Where did the napkin go?! Monica Geller : Now there you go! I wouldn't want my best guest to strain her eyes! Phoebe Buffay : Thanks Monica! Monica Geller : Does that smell bother you? Phoebe Buffay : What the smell from Joey's? No, I can hardly smell it over here. Monica Geller : Well you let me know if you can, because y'know I can bake a pie to cover it. Phoebe Buffay : I can smell it a little, bake the pie. Monica Geller : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Hello? Oh yes, one minute please. It's for you. It's the fire inspector. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Hello? Yeah this is Phoebe. Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so it turns out that it wasn't the hair straightener that started the fire. No-no, it was the candles. It's very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is... Uhh... Uhh... Okay. Well, I have to go now. Ross Geller : We had such a great time! She's-she's incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasn't. It wasn't at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. A concept lost on some people! Monica Geller : So it's okay to date a student. Ross Geller : Well, not really. I mean technically it's-it's not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou. Monica Geller : Well Ross, you be careful now. You don't want to get a reputation as y'know Professor McNailshisstudents. Ross Geller : Yeah. What-what should I do? Joey Tribbiani : Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean what's more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart. Monica Geller : Joey that is so sweet. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey! So, how did it go with Dana? Any reason I should leave a block of time open say Thursday? Chandler Bing : I couldn't do it. Joey Tribbiani : You couldn't do it?! Chandler Bing : Hey, relax I just need more time. We're going to dinner tonight. Monica Geller : What?! You're going out with her again! Ross Geller : Going out with who? Chandler Bing : Uh, Dana Keystone from college. Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Wasn't she uh... Chandler Bing : No, that was Dana Caplin. The Guys : Ohhhh! Monica Geller : Joey! You didn't even know her! Joey Tribbiani : Ah whatever! Chandler Bing : Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo! Dana Keystone : Y'know uh, actually I-I-I should get going. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no! Stay! Stay! Because you-you should you-you-you should stay! Dana Keystone : Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I don't feel that way about you. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, that's not-No-no-no! Dana Keystone : I'm sorry Chandler, y'know you are such a sweet guy and I, I don't want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better. Chandler Bing : No-no-Really?! Dana Keystone : Of course! Chandler Bing : Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh... Dana Keystone : Ohh, I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Well maybe there is one thing you can do. Dana Keystone : What?! Anything! Anything! Chandler Bing : Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday? Dana Keystone : Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie? Chandler Bing : Well, the heart wants what it wants. I'll see you later. Monica Geller : Hey! How's it goin'? Phoebe Buffay : Well, not much has changed in the last five minutes. Monica Geller : Yes it has! I made cookies! Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's all right. I'm still full from your homemade potato chips. Monica Geller : But you should eat them now because they're hot from the oven. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh-ho! But not in here! Can't eat 'em in bed, remember? No crumbies! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'll be out in a second. Monica Geller : Okay! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : That doesn't lock does it? Rachel Green : Oh, Joey! Sorry! Joey Tribbiani : No that's all right. Don't worry about it. Rachel Green : Oh but look! That's gonna leave a stain! Joey Tribbiani : Rach! Hey! It's fine! You're at Joey's! Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Look! Rachel Green : I've never lived like this before. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Joey Tribbiani : All right, don't waste it, I mean its still food. Ross Geller : What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink? Elizabeth Stevens : Uhh, I can't. Ross Geller : Oh, you have some studying to do? Elizabeth Stevens : No, I have some turning 21 to do. Ross Geller : Y'know I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to... Elizabeth Stevens : What are you doing? Ross Geller : Nothing, I'm-I'm just, I'm so comfortable with you! Elizabeth Stevens : Do you not want to be seen with me? Ross Geller : What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone? Elizabeth Stevens : Uh no, they're still here but I think I'm about to leave. Ross Geller : What?! No! No! Wait! You're right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? There's nothing wrong with that. Come on. Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth. Elizabeth Stevens : Hi! Lydia : Aren't you in my Popular Culture class? Ross Geller : That's right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, we're dating. And you may frown upon that, but we're not gonna hide it anymore. Mel : You are so fired. Ross Geller : What? Burt : They're gonna fire you! You can't date a student! It's against the rules. Ross Geller : Really? Its not just frowned upon? Rachel Green : I love it at Joey's! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, here you go. Chandler Bing : Ni-hi-ice! Rachel Green : Thanks! Chandler Bing : So, you busy Thursday? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, very funny. I don't know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. You got me the audition?! Let's hug it up! Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay. What are you gonna do to me if you get the part? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you! Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think I'm partly at fault. You see, I didn't, I didn't tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so y'know let's just face it, that's just kindling! So I think it's better that I stay at Joey's. Rachel Green : No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides y'know what? I'm fine here. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you. Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah she said something about crumbies. Chandler Bing : No! No! No! I was so careful! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy! Joey Tribbiani : That's right, all the ladies want to stay at Joey's. Rachel Green : No! No! Phoebe, come on! I don't want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here! Phoebe Buffay : No but at Monica's you can eat cookies over the sink! Rachel Green : I know. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : All right fine! This looks like so much fun. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : God, what a mess. Ross Geller : Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I can't date you or have a hot plate in my office. I can't believe we have to stop seeing each other. Elizabeth Stevens : For what it's worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more. Ross Geller : I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we can't date. It's against the rules. It's forbidden. Elizabeth Stevens : Wow! Ross Geller : What? Elizabeth Stevens : Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, it's really hot. Ross Geller : Really? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah. Ross Geller : Well I-I-I don't care how hot it is it's-it's uh, it's wrong. Elizabeth Stevens : Stop it! Ross Geller : No! No! It's wrong! It's-it's-it's naughty. It's taboo. Elizabeth Stevens : Shut the book! Ross Geller : Let's also get a hot plate! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : So?! Joey Tribbiani : So? Chandler Bing : It's Thursday! How was the audition?! Joey Tribbiani : Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs- Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! Ah-ah!! Damn fridge! Rachel Green : Hi Joey, how ya doin'? Joey Tribbiani : Great! Roomie! Rachel Green : Huh, yeah I guess we are roommates now. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot. Rachel Green : I'm not paying for half of that! I'm only staying here until my apartment gets fixed. Joey Tribbiani : Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya'? Rachel Green : That refrigerators don't live as long as people. Joey Tribbiani : All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, I'll take a check for the other hundred. Rachel Green : You're jokin' right? Joey Tribbiani : Of course I'm jokin'! I don't take checks. Rachel Green : Thank God you're pretty. Rachel Green : Hey! #ALL# : Hi! Hey! Rachel Green : Do you guys know any cute guys? Chandler Bing : Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you Chandler. Rachel Green : Anyway, there's this big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table, so I kinda have to go... Monica Geller : What's the charity? Rachel Green : I don't know, something either trees or disease-Ralph mumbles a lot. Monica Geller : Does Ralph mumble when you're not paying attention? Rachel Green : Yeah! It's weird. But the thing is need to find a date. Phoebe Buffay : Well, what kind of guy are you looking for? Rachel Green : Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux. Chandler Bing : So he has to be a male who has at least $50. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! So close. Ross Geller : Hey everybody! #ALL# : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey uh, this is Elizabeth. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh hi! #ALL# : Hi! Elizabeth Stevens : I'm the student. Chandler Bing : Isn't she cute? No! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, this is probably none of my business, but weren't you guys supposed to not be seen in public together? Elizabeth Stevens : Oh, we're not together. Ross Geller : Oh no-no-no, we're just two people who happen to run into each other here at the coffee house. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, sly. Elizabeth Stevens : Well, I really wanted to meet you guys, but I have to run. I'll see you later? #ALL# : Okay! Elizabeth Stevens : Bye Ross. Ross Geller : Bye. Elizabeth Stevens : Oops! I did not mean to run into you like that sir. Ross Geller : Oh that is quite all right ma'am. Chandler Bing : So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do? Ross Geller : Yes, her molecular epidemiology paper is due tomorrow. Chandler Bing : Oh, tell her good luck with that. Ross Geller : Anyone else? Huh? Bring 'em on! Rachel Green : Oo! When's her birthday?! Ross Geller : I don't know Rachel, why? Rachel Green : Well, y'know it's just been so long since I've been to Chuckie Cheese. Monica Geller : Oh, I like Elizabeth. Ross Geller : Well thanks! Monica Geller : Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Y'know, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, how's it going with her? Ross Geller : Well, actually it's been great. She's 20 so she's not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now. Monica Geller : Well that is great. And seriously, she seems very nice. Ross Geller : Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12? Monica Geller : Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Do we have any Fruit Roll-Ups? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing. Chandler Bing : Oh that's so funny because we found someone too. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's good, I guess she'll have a choice between my guy and your weirdo. Chandler Bing : Why would our guy be a weirdo? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause that's just your taste. Monica Geller : Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these Chandler Bing : A face ass? Phoebe Buffay : A chin dimple! Monica Geller : Well, uh y'know, our guy works with Chandler and he's really nice and smart and he's a great dresser! Phoebe Buffay : Have you seen your guy's body? Chandler Bing : No, our guy is just a floating head. Phoebe Buffay : Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? He's a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it. Monica Geller : You're not supposed to look! Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, like there are police for that! Chandler Bing : Wait! You look? You-you massaged me. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Monica Geller : All right fine, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Chandler funny? Monica Geller : Our guy's a great dancer! Phoebe Buffay : My guy is well read. Chandler Bing : Our guy has great hair. Phoebe Buffay : My guy has great teeth! Chandler Bing : Our guy smells incredible. Monica Geller : Do you want our guy to be your guy? Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Chandler Bing : Well, you...don't look good Joe. Joey Tribbiani : The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes-Hey, what was in that brown jar? Chandler Bing : That's still in there?! Joey Tribbiani : Not anymore. So anyway, how do you want to pay me? Chandler Bing : Is this a service you're providing me? Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! For my new fridge-our new fridge! Chandler Bing : Our new fridge? I don't live here anymore. Joey Tribbiani : So what? Look, suppose we were a divorced couple. Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid. Chandler Bing : Okay... Joey Tribbiani : Give me $400! Elizabeth Stevens : Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Hmm? Oh, a student I don't know. Elizabeth Stevens : I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment? Ross Geller : Yes, yes of course, what-what would this be regarding? Elizabeth Stevens : Making out in your office. Ross Geller : Shh! Of course, why don't we go inside? Ross Geller : Oh-ooh! Elizabeth Stevens : What? Ross Geller : Doorknob! Doorknob! Elizabeth Stevens : Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you. Ross Geller : Oh, okay. What-what about? Elizabeth Stevens : Spring vacation. Ross Geller : Spring vacation. Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips... Professor Feesen : Professor Geller! Ross Geller : Yes, professor Feesen-sen-stenlger... I'll be with you in one moment. So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints. Ross Geller : You don't understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, I'm not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her? Chandler Bing : Just tell her the truth! Tell her you're not ready. Ross Geller : I can do that. Oh-oh, what if she gets upset? Chandler Bing : Then you distract her with a Barbie doll. Joey Tribbiani : Or! You can just, y'know... Ross Geller : What the hell are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : What? What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge! Ross Geller : What?! What? How do you, how do you even know its broken?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho-ho, you think I don't know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! Well what do you know! Broken! That'll be $400! Chandler Bing : Joey, I saw you push him! Joey Tribbiani : You pushed him! Ross Geller : Joey, I did not break this! Okay? That has been broken for a while. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge? Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : I still haven't gotten a check for your half yet. Ross Geller : Do not give him any money! Joey Tribbiani : I'm not talking to you! You broke my fridge! Elizabeth Stevens : You wanted to see me Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Yes. Yes! Please, come in. Ross Geller : Oo-oo! Elizabeth Stevens : Doorknob? Ross Geller : Yeah, it kinda grows on you. Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh good. Ross Geller : Look, I... Look, I'm having a great time with you and I just don't want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, I'm sorry I just don't think we should go away together yet. It's-it's too soon. Elizabeth Stevens : Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to Florida for a couple weeks. Ross Geller : No. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. What I meant was... Elizabeth Stevens : You are so adorable. Ross Geller : That! Let's talk about that. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth? Ross Geller : Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didn't want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that she's going to Florida for spring vacation. Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? Ross Geller : What's-what's the difference? Monica Geller : Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break you're doing frat guys. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what? Not all spring breaks are like that. Phoebe Buffay : What did you do on yours? Ross Geller : I went to Egypt with my dad. Chandler Bing : I can see it now, "Look dad, it's the Sphinx!" Ross Geller : Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" All right? I mean she's taken my class! Monica Geller : And slept with the professor. Ross Geller : I'm gonna call her. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Rachel Green : Hey! You guys umm, I want you to meet Sebastian. Sebastian : Hi. Rachel Green : We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. What? I read that. Sebastian : Can I get you a cup of coffee? Rachel Green : Oh yes! Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, what the hell is this?! Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own! Rachel Green : You found me a guy? Monica Geller : Yes! We found you a really cute and funny guy from Chandler's work! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo. Rachel Green : Well, y'know what though you guys? I really appreciate that but I think I'm just gonna take Sebastian to the charity. Chandler Bing : Are you sure?! Because our guy smells incredible! Monica Geller : Uh, would you stop it with that already?! Sebastian : Here you go. Rachel Green : Oh, thank you. Sebastian : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : So, Sebastian, do you do any volunteer work? Sebastian : Uh, no not really. Why? Phoebe Buffay : No reason, it's just I know a single guy that cares about other people. Chandler Bing : Are you funny? Sebastian : Excuse me? Rachel Green : What are you guys doing? Monica Geller : Are you funny? Tell us a joke! Sebastian : Look, I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : Well, so do a lot of people. Sebastian : Actually, I uh, I gotta get going. Give me a call sometime. Rachel Green : Oh, but y'know, no, you didn't give me your phone number. Sebastian : Okay! See you later! Chandler Bing : Turns out he is kinda funny. Rachel Green : I cannot believe you guys! He was really nice and he left because of you! Chandler Bing : Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cat's name? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, y'know what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the kind of guy you'd like to take to a ball? "Hey Sebastian, would you like to dance?" "Uhh, okay-I gotta go!" Monica Geller : All right guys stop it. Rachel, we're very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And y'know what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! What have you got to lose? Y'know you might even end up with someone really special if you pick my guy. Rachel Green : All right. Chandler Bing : Okay, so you will meet our guys? Rachel Green : Yes, I'll meet 'em. Chandler Bing : Okay now it doesn't matter which one you choose, y'know? It's completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! There you are! Okay, you broke my fridge; you owe me 400 bucks! Phoebe Buffay : Okay sure! Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, technically you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts on your last ten auditions. Joey Tribbiani : Call it even? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say? Ross Geller : Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girl's bodies, waking up next to people you don't even know... Joey Tribbiani : Man, she is going to have a great time! Is she staying at the Hotel Corona? Chandler Bing : You know the hotels? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! I was there! Spring Break '81! Woo-hoo! Monica Geller : In 1981 you were 13! Joey Tribbiani : So what? I drove down, sold T-shirts, had a blast. And y'know who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks. Ross Geller : Okay, she can't go. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, you can't tell her not to go. You just started dating. Ross Geller : Then what am I supposed to do? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, you just have to be cool with it. Ross Geller : Well, what is she goes down and-and sleeps with a bunch of guys? Chandler Bing : Well, maybe you don't marry this one. Ross Geller : I'm so glad you're going on this trip! Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah! I've been working so hard this semester. I really need to go crazy y'know, blow off some steam. Ross Geller : Sure. Sure. Look I don't, I don't know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam. Elizabeth Stevens : What? Ross Geller : Are you into crafts at all? Elizabeth Stevens : Ross, are you okay? Ross Geller : Well, yeah, of-of course I'm okay! What? I'm just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and what-what is uh, what's this? Elizabeth Stevens : It's a bathing suit? Ross Geller : To wear in front of people? Elizabeth Stevens : Is that supportive? Ross Geller : Is this?! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Good-good-good-good. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : We're really glad you decided to meet our guy. Rachel Green : Oh... Monica Geller : You're gonna like him so much. So umm, when do you want to meet him? Rachel Green : I don't know. I know I don't work late tomorrow night. Chandler Bing : Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, y'know what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? Eldad come here! Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Eldad, this is Rachel. Eldad : How are you? Rachel Green : Well-well a little blind sided but y'know good. Chandler Bing : Eldad, sit down. Move over! Move over now! Rachel Green : I-Ohh! Chandler Bing : There you go! There you are! Monica Geller : Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! What are you doing here?! Phoebe Buffay : This is Patrick. Patrick : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hi. Okay, you're too late okay? Because she's already with our guy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you're right! I am too late; they're sitting on the couch and talking! Come on! Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : This is Patrick. Rachel Green : Oh, hi. Patrick : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about. Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to what's underneath it. Rachel Green : Oh-okay, but Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : I'm just sort of in the middle of something. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Okay! Yeah, that's okay. Have a seat. Monica Geller : No! You can't do that! Eldad : Maybe I should go! Monica Geller : Sit down! We're winning! Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? Maybe I should go! #ALL# : No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat! Monica Geller : Rachel! Rachel! You haven't touched Eldad's hair! Chandler Bing : It is the softest hair! Touch it! Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm good. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Patrick is really rich. Give her some money. Patrick : Y'know what Phoebe? This isn't really worth the free massage. Monica Geller : That's right Patrick, bye-bye! Chandler Bing : Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! You dance for Rachel! Rachel Green : No-no! Don't dance for me! Please? Don't! What is the matter with you guys? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay, let's talk it out. Rachel Green : I... Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for? Eldad : I'm a little embarrassed. Rachel Green : I'll tell ya who should be embarrassed! It's you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date! Phoebe Buffay : Then why did she ask us to... Rachel Green : I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean congratulations on all the cash, and-and y'know--Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?! Eldad : Yes, Papaya Extract. Rachel Green : Thank you! Ross Geller : So uh, have a great time down there. Elizabeth Stevens : I will. Ross Geller : Yeah. And did you, did you pack that bathing suit? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah. Ross Geller : It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because it's revealing which I'm fine with, no I'm concerned about your health, sun exposure. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh, don't worry I have plenty of sun block, it's SPF-30. Ross Geller : Well, if what's in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes it's-it's get 4, and I swear to God more often than not it's just milk. Elizabeth Stevens : Ross, it's going to be okay. I'm not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us. Ross Geller : Really? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah! I'm just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends. Ross Geller : Okay. Cool. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh hey! Here they are! Guy : Elizabeth! Ross Geller : Call me! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, we're sorry for pushing those guys on you. Rachel Green : Oh that's all right! Y'know, I ended up having a really good time. Y'know, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and awareness. Chandler Bing : So what was it for anyway? Rachel Green : I wanna say a disease. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : I just got this really weird message from Ross. He said turn on MTV. Rachel Green : Huh. All right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, look! That's Elizabeth! Rachel Green : Oh-oh Professor Geller. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, to be 13 again. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : The reactor's gonna blow in three seconds, we're never gonna make it! Phoebe Buffay : You've got to get out of here! Save yourself! Joey Tribbiani : No! I won't leave you! Phoebe Buffay : Don't worry about me, I'm a robot! I'm just a machine!! Joey Tribbiani : No you're not! Not to me! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : I am extremely talented! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you're great! Okay, let's take it from... Phoebe Buffay : No, I mean I was really acting my ass off. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I thought I was pretty good too. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, you're solid. Yeah, you're just no me. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? I think that's enough for now. Yeah. I don't want to be over rehearsed. Phoebe Buffay : Fine! I'll do it without you! I don't need you or anybody else! I'm gonna make it on my own! You'll see!! You'll all see!! Chandler Bing : So uh, what's this thing you're auditioning for? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's a new TV show. Yeah. I'm up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, I'm a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. He's a, he's a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E." Rachel Green : So Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey Tribbiani : That's the title! Yeah! Y'know they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese. Chandler Bing : That is lucky. Rachel Green : Huh-Wait so Joey if you get this, you're gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean you'll be like the Big Cheese! Or the Big Mac-Hey! You love those! Joey Tribbiani : Well, don't get your hopes up, because probably not gonna happen. Chandler Bing : Now-now, why would you say that Joseph? Joey Tribbiani : I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just don't know if I'm good enough. Phoebe Buffay : I am. Rachel Green : Joey, what are you talking about? You're a terrific actor. Joey Tribbiani : You really think so? Rachel Green : Ugh, how can you even ask that question?! Chandler Bing : Whoa, she's pretty. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and oh she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, what? Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. Chandler Bing : Oh, ok. Joey Tribbiani : There's my scene, there's my scene. "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..." Joey Tribbiani : Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. Joey Tribbiani : I Play Al Pacino's Butt. All Right? He Goes Into The Shower, And Then- I'M His Butt. Monica Geller : Oh My God. Joey Tribbiani : C'Mon, You Guys. This Is A Real Movie, And Al Pacino's In It, And That's Big! Chandler Bing : Oh No, It's Terrific, It'S- It'S- Y'Know, You Deserve This, After All Your Years Of Struggling, You'Ve Finally Been Able To Crack Your Way Into Show Business. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Okay, Fine! Make Jokes, I Don'T Care! This Is A Big Break For Me! Ross Geller : You're right, you're right, it is. Monica Geller : Yes. Ross Geller : So you gonna invite us all to the big opening? Joey Tribbiani : All right well, I'm outta here. Wish me luck. Phoebe Buffay : Gooood luck! Gooood luck! We all wish you good luuuuuuuuck!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, whatever. Ross Geller : It's your turn. Chandler Bing : Oh, are we playing this?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey! How'd the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Terrible! I messed up every line! I shouldn't even be an actor! Ross Geller : Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didn't go well but it really did go well? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, did I fool ya? Ross Geller : Totally! Chandler Bing : So it did go well. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it went amazingly well! Ross Geller : Great! Chandler Bing : Oh that's great! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, it's down to me and two other guys. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : And I know both of them, they're really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials who's always getting chased by those big flowers... Ross Geller : Oh, I love that guy! Chandler Bing : Oh-oh, what are you doing? Ross Geller : What am I doing? Joey Tribbiani : I'm just so nervous! Y'know? The callback isn't until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode! Chandler Bing : Well, it is overdue. Ross Geller : Look, don't worry. Okay? You're gonna be fine. Joey Tribbiani : There's just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I don't know if you'd understand. Ross Geller : Yeah, none of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs. Chandler Bing : Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy! Monica Geller : Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce. Interviewer : Uh-huh. Is it dirty? Monica Geller : Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it. Interviewer : Don't, I like it dirty. Monica Geller : That's your call. Interviewer : So, uh, what are you going to do next? Monica Geller : Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos. Interviewer : Are they, uh, firm? Monica Geller : They'r alright. Interviewer : You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad? Monica Geller : No really, they're OK. Interviewer : You gonna slice them up real nice? Monica Geller : Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne. Interviewer : Aaaahhhhhhh. Monica Geller : I'm outa here. Rachel Green : Monica, I'm quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didn't even buy it! I'm telling you I'm quitting! That's it! I'm talking to my boss right now! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. Monica Geller : Well, what happened? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he came in for a massage and everything was fine until... #ALL# : Ohhhhhh! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : And all of the sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. Monica Geller : Was it... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it! Ross Geller : You ate my sandwich? Dr. Ledbetter : It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone. Ross Geller : Oh-oh really? Dr. Ledbetter : Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash. Ross Geller : What? Dr. Ledbetter : Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away. Ross Geller : You-you-you-you threw my sandwich away! Ross Geller : MY SANDWICH?!!! Ross Geller : MY SANDWICH!!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : I want this part so much! Y'know? If I don't get this part I'm never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!-No, I didn't say that! That's a lie. Chandler Bing : Oh come on guys, it's not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it weren't for Monica's allergies. You're right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. Should I get that? Hello? Uh no, Joey's not here right now. Can I take a message? Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? Okay great. Bye. Monica Geller : Ahh! Aren't you dressed yet? Chandler Bing : Am I naked again?! Monica Geller : We're supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes. Chandler Bing : Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit? Monica Geller : Wh?! What about my allergies?! Chandler Bing : Oh right, your allergies. All her, she hates you. Joey Tribbiani : Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be? Chandler Bing : As crazy as soccer? Joey Tribbiani : Hello? What are you talking about? The audition's not 'til 5:00! Well, nobody told me! Who'd you talk to? Nevermind! Chandler Bing : You mean you didn't get it from this? Joey Tribbiani : The allergy guy got the part! Thanks! Chandler Bing : Well, maybe we can fix it y'know? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him! Joey Tribbiani : How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part could've turned my whole career around! Chandler Bing : I messed up. Okay? I'm sorry, I really messed up. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you don't even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine! Chandler Bing : Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybody's allowed one mistake, right? Chandler Bing : You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap! Phoebe Buffay : It's not that bad. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, Chandler. Chandler Bing : I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . Hi! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and... Joey Tribbiani : And what?! Did you sleep with her?! Chandler Bing : No! No! No! I just kissed her. Joey Tribbiani : What?!! That's even worse!! Chandler Bing : How is that worse?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! But it's the same! Chandler Bing : You're right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line. Joey Tribbiani : Over the line?! You-you're-you're so far past the line, that you-you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you! Chandler Bing : Look, I'm not saying that you should magically forgive me! But you're not perfect! You've made some errors in judgment too! Joey Tribbiani : Name one! Chandler Bing : What happened?!! Joey Tribbiani : Awww, man! He promised he wouldn't take the chairs!! Chandler Bing : What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didn't think big enough to fit a grown man! Chandler Bing : So--You got in voluntarily?! Joey Tribbiani : I was tryin' to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what I'm gonna do? Chandler Bing : BEND OVER?!!! Chandler Bing : Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess. Lorraine : Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Chandler Bing : ...And what did you bring? Lorraine : She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice. Chandler Bing : Janice? Chandler Bing : Janice?! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh.... my.... God. Chandler Bing : Joey's tailor...took advantage of me. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years. Chandler Bing : Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite... Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Cupping. Joey Tribbiani : That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants? Ross Geller : Yes, yes it is. In prison! Joey Tribbiani : I said name one! Chandler Bing : I can't believe I did this! What an idiot! Monica Geller : Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There aren't any message you've forgotten to give me are there? Apparently you're not very good at it! I... Chandler Bing : Do you think he'll ever forgive me? Rachel Green : Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I-I kinda have. Rachel Green : Already? That's pretty bad what you did. Monica Geller : Y'know what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case... Okay... Chandler Bing : You didn't see how mad he was, y'know? Rachel Green : I'm sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Y'know, you fight, you make up, it's just the way it works. Ross Geller : It took two people to break up this relationship!! Rachel Green : Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!! Ross Geller : I didn't know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn't finish the whole letter! Rachel Green : What?!! Ross Geller : I fell asleep! Rachel Green : You fell asleep?! Ross Geller : It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means 'you are,' Y-O-U-R means 'your!' Rachel Green : Y'know I can't believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!! Ross Geller : FINE BY ME!! Rachel Green : And hey! Just so you know, it's not that common! It doesn't happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!! Chandler Bing : I KNEW IT!!!! Monica Geller : You had no right to go out with him. Rachel Green : That is the most ridiculous... Monica Geller : You sold me out. Rachel Green : I did not sell you out. Monica Geller : Yes you did. You absolutely sold me... Rachel Green : Would you let me talk. Monica Geller : Did you just flick me? Rachel Green : OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- Ow. That hurt Phoebe Buffay : Oh! All right. Now, let's not do this! Phoebe Buffay : Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Phoebe Buffay : OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass. Monica Geller : Ow! Ow! Ow! Phoebe Buffay : I know! I know! I know! Phoebe Buffay : Alright, now I will let go if you both stop. Rachel Green : Fine! Monica Geller : Fine! Phoebe Buffay : There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. Chandler Bing : Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? Hello? Damnit! Hello? No, Joey's not here right now, but I can take a message I think. He's still got a chance for the part?! Oh, that's great news! Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. Oh well, that's great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! Yes! Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. By dog not flowers. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Please tell me you got the message! Joey Tribbiani : What message? Chandler Bing : The actor playing Mac couldn't do it, they needed to see you at 2 o'clock. Joey Tribbiani : What?! It's 6 o'clock! Chandler Bing : Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Ross's! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches! Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe this Chandler! Chandler Bing : Sorry! I-I-I don't know what to say. Joey Tribbiani : Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!! Chandler Bing : Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well I'm uh... Chandler Bing : Y'know, sometimes that fake out thing is just mean! Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow! Okay man, I'm sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad. Chandler Bing : Well that's good. Because you didn't! And I'm incredibly happy for ya!! Joey Tribbiani : That's mean! You really had me going there! Chandler Bing : Oh, we could do this all day. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you're right. Okay look, listen, let's talk about what a huge star I'm gonna be! Chandler Bing : You are gonna be a huge star! I'm gonna hug ya! Joey Tribbiani : You hug me! Chandler Bing : All right! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, do we do this too much? Chandler Bing : I think so. Yeah, get off me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., I'm not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU. Phoebe Buffay : I can't! My circuits are fried! They're fried I tell you!! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Well then I'll just have to carry you. Ross Geller : That'll be a neat trick, when you're, when you're dead! Joey Tribbiani : Ross, you don't have to yell. Ross Geller : There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired. Phoebe Buffay : I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, where'd Ross go?" Ross Geller : Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Ross Geller : Oh my God. I mean... Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? I think that's enough for today. Thanks for your help! Phoebe Buffay : He's holding us back. Ross Geller : Totally. Rachel Green : Okay, Chandler! Chandler Bing : Okay. Rachel Green : And your horoscope says, "On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift." Chandler Bing : Oh, well thank you in advance. Rachel Green : Op, but the twelfth brings a lover's spat. Monica Geller : You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?! Rachel Green : Oh, wait and on the nineteenth a secret crush announces itself. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey!! Rachel Green : Oh my God! It's Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : Oh that's right. It's your first day! So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick? Joey Tribbiani : Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? I've dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Joey, you're going to be great! Joey Tribbiani : But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I don't know anything about technology! I can't even use Chandler's computer except to find porn! And-and that's only 'cause it's right there when you turn it on! Monica Geller : I think our lover's spat will start a little early this month. Phoebe Buffay : I'll be waiting. Chandler Bing : Are you judging them by their covers? Because you're really not supposed to do that. Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm just deciding which one to use-I'm gonna start writing another book! Rachel Green : Be-because the last one was such a big seller? Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : What are you guys doing later? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut. Rachel Green : We do? Phoebe Buffay : I want to see what he wants first. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : I just found out that Elizabeth's dad wants to meet me. Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, hold the phone! You're not Elizabeth's dad?! Ross Geller : Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good. #ALL# : Of course we'll help! Yeah! We'll be here! Ross Geller : Thanks! Monica Geller : We know how tough those parent/teacher conferences can be. The Producer : So uh, here's your office set! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Huh? Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator! The Producer : Let's get you into wardrobe for a fitting. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot? The Producer : I'm sorry, why don't we do that right now? He's right here. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. The Producer : Joey Tribbiani, this is... Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow! He's so lifelike! Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guy's ears. The Producer : This is Wayne, the man who created and operates C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey Tribbiani : How do you do there, Wayne? The Producer : I'll let you two guys get acquainted, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Sorry about that... Uh, so where's C.H.E.E.S.E.? Wayne : C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. C.H.E.E.S.E. : Nice to meet you Mac! Joey Tribbiani : This is like the temporary robot, right? Wayne : No. Why? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, y'know? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you. Wayne : I spent two years developing this machine, it's absolutely state of the art. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, it just-I don't know it doesn't really look like it can do anything. Wayne : It can do this. Elizabeth Stevens : This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller. Ross Geller : It-it's great to meet you Paul. Paul Stevens : I usually prefer Elizabeth's boyfriends to address me as Mr. Stevens. Ross Geller : Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens. Paul Stevens : So Ross, what your problem? Ross Geller : Eh-wh-Excuse me? Paul Stevens : Why can't you get a girlfriend your own age? Ross Geller : That's funny. Umm.... It's not funny. Paul Stevens : I don't like you going out with my daughter Ross. Ross Geller : Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind. Paul Stevens : Okay. Ross Geller : What? Paul Stevens : Okay. I'll give you one chance to change my mind. You got one minute. Elizabeth Stevens : Daddy! Paul Stevens : Fine! Two minutes. Go. Ross Geller : This is-you- Paul Stevens : 1 minute 50 seconds. Ross Geller : Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean I've been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a student-I mean I not-not it! I mean, I mean I don't-We haven't done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, we've-we've-we've done stuff. Okay, okay, a joke, a joke-lighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish. Paul Stevens : I'm Irish. Ross Geller : And the Irish guy wins the joke! Monica Geller : Ross!! Chandler Bing : Ross! Monica Geller : How crazy that we'd run into you! Ross Geller : Oh God, thank you! Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens I'd like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : You're Elizabeth's father, huh? I can see now where she gets her rugged handsomeness. Monica Geller : Is-is-is there a-a Mrs. Stevens? Chandler Bing : There's a Mr. Bing! Paul Stevens : No, unfortunately Lizzie's mom passed away shortly after she was born. I raised her by myself. Monica Geller : Ohh! Paul Stevens : I get that a lot. Ross Geller : Okay umm, why don't we all take a seat, y'know? And uh, and I'll get us all some uh some coffees--Yeah, why don't you. Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Y'know? Whatever pops into your head. Monica Geller : Y'know, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, 'cause usually he's got the children's hospital. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Not looking for dates. Elizabeth Stevens : So uh, Monica is Ross's sister. Monica Geller : And he's a great brother! Paul Stevens : I had a sister. Monica Geller : Ohh! Paul Stevens : She passed away. Monica Geller : Ohh! Paul Stevens : Oh, you don't have to do that every time. Chandler Bing : But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story... You're roommate in college died didn't he? Paul Stevens : A part of him did yes. Ross Geller : Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about. Chandler Bing : Yes, we were just... Rachel Green : Hi, I'm sorry I'm late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Liz's father get here? Paul Stevens : I'm already here. Rachel Green : Oh! Ross is sooo great! Chandler Bing : Hey honey, you got the kind with the little girl, you said we were gonna to get the kind with the baby. Monica Geller : No, you said the baby creeps you out. Chandler Bing : No, the little girl creeps me out. Monica Geller : You said the baby. Chandler Bing : Why would the baby creep me out? Monica Geller : Why would the little girl creep you out? Phoebe Buffay : You guys, I'm sorry, could you please talk a little slower? Chandler Bing : This is going in your book? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's about relationships. Y'know? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great! Monica Geller : What?! Excuse me! Phoebe Buffay : And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as it's a compliment. Rachel Green : Oh hi! Paul Stevens : Hi! Hi. I think I left my keys here somewhere. Rachel Green : Oh! Well let's look for them. Oh-oh-hey! Are these them? Paul Stevens : No. Rachel Green : All right! Paul Stevens : Oh, here they are right here. Rachel Green : Oh good. Paul Stevens : Thanks for your help. Rachel Green : Oh, wait! Sorry, Mr. Paul? Mr. Paul? Paul Stevens : Just call me Paul. Rachel Green : Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy. Paul Stevens : Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. Are you okay? Rachel Green : You just don't look old enough to have a twenty-year-old daughter. Paul Stevens : Well, we were very young when we had her. Rachel Green : Oh. We? Paul Stevens : Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to... Rachel Green : Oh no! Yes! Of course, I know that! I just-I meant y'know are you still a 'We' or are you just 'You?' Paul Stevens : I'm just me, my wife died shortly after Lizzie was born. Rachel Green : Ohh. So you raised her all on your own? Paul Stevens : Yes I did. Rachel Green : Ohh. Ooh! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : How was your first day? Joey Tribbiani : Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot. Chandler Bing : Damn those robots, they're supposed to be our faithful servants! Joey Tribbiani : Anyway, it wasn't the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesn't like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh! Phoebe Buffay : Well, why don't you just get him fired? Joey Tribbiani : I may have to, I hate to do it, but I'm the star! Y'know? There's a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. Excuse me. Joey Tribbiani. Estelle Leonard : Joe! I'm glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Estelle Leonard : The thing is it's kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesn't know he might be fired. It's the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey Tribbiani : I'm the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!! Estelle Leonard : Uh-oh! Ross Geller : Joey?! Paul Stevens : Hi Ross. Rachel Green : I was just getting him to like you. Ross Geller : Joey?! Joey!! Rachel Green : Ross, Joey is not here. Ross Geller : Okay, I'll just wait for him in here! Rachel Green : Ross, it's okay. You can come out. Paul Stevens : Yeah Ross it's okay, it's me, Mr. Stevens. Ross Geller : Oh! Oh my God! I didn't even see you! Paul Stevens : Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. Rachel Green : Bye! Paul Stevens : I'll call you later. Bye Ross. Ross Geller : What-what-what the-how da-how did-what the-how did-what?! Rachel Green : Well, y'know he lost his keys so he was looking for them... Ross Geller : In your mouth?! Rachel Green : No! Downstairs! And we got to talking y'know, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee. Ross Geller : You were at the coffeehouse! Rachel Green : Ross, what's the big deal? So I kissed the guy! Ross Geller : He is my girlfriend's father, okay? It's-it's, it's weird! Rachel Green : Wh-You dated my sister! Ross Geller : That was different! Rachel Green : What? Why?! Ross Geller : This is weird for me! Rachel Green : Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Let's face it, so far the guy's not lovin' ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, y'know? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer! Ross Geller : How is that important? Rachel Green : Oh it's important! Joey Tribbiani : Apparently, there's like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and there's only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didn't know he could get me fired! What am I going to do? Monica Geller : Well y'know Joey, you're a pretty charming guy. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here. Monica Geller : No sweetie, you've got to win over the guy that controls C.H.E.E.S.E.! You've got to kiss some serious robot ass! Joey Tribbiani : That's not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow I'm not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. Chandler Bing : So do you think uh, Joey's more charming than me? Monica Geller : Yeah! That's why I'm sleeping with him on the side. Chandler Bing : Yeah, you wish. Phoebe Buffay : "You wish." Monica Geller : Phoebe, stop writing about us! Phoebe Buffay : I'm not writing about you! I'm writing about other people. Chandler Bing : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Marcia and Chester. Monica Geller : Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, I'll just write about Phyllis! Hmm! Chandler Bing : Hmm. Monica Geller : Phyllis is sitting in a chair. Chandler Bing : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : I see what you're doing! Monica Geller : Phyllis sees what I'm doing. Chandler Bing : Oh-oh. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter! Joey Tribbiani : Morning! Hey, how's my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! Wayne : Don't touch him! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! Ah-ah!! Okay, that's why you didn't want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? Stupid! I can't believe it! God! Hey, how you doin'? Rachel Green : So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me. Elizabeth Stevens : What a nice story! Paul Stevens : So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom. Rachel Green : Wow! I definitely did not see that one backfiring! I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Ross Geller : Yeah, take your time. Ross Geller : Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasn't as bad as-as... Paul Stevens : Ross, look, I know I've been giving you a lot of jabs and it's partly because I'm very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, many stories that Rachel has told me that, well you're not all bad. Ross Geller : Not all bad. Paul Stevens : And anyhow, I'm sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I still look at Lizzie like she's a twelve-year-old girl. Ross Geller : Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too. Paul Stevens : I beg your pardon? Ross Geller : No! No! Not-I don't mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, who's umm six and I still think of him as a baby. Paul Stevens : You have a son? Ross Geller : Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as I'm sure you are with your wife! Oh, I'm sorry! It's unbelievable! Paul Stevens : Don't worry about it, I just didn't realize you were married. Rachel Green : Oh we were, but that was just a , I mean that was just a big drunken mistake. Ross Geller : You're back. Paul Stevens : You two were married?! Rachel Green : Oh! Whoops! I'm sorry, you were talking about Emily! Monica Geller : Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six. Chandler Bing : We said seven! Monica Geller : We said six! Chandler Bing : The only way that I said six would be if the seven's, let meet at seven, not at six. Monica Geller : Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I would've said something like this, "Wow! My boyfriend's such a wise ass-seven!" Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Chandler Bing : Oh my good God. Monica Geller : Ugh! Phoebe Buffay : I know what time you said. Chandler Bing : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Well actually, I know what time Chester and Marcia said. Monica Geller : What time? Phoebe Buffay : Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly it's my book to the rescue, huh? Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up. Chandler Bing : What does it say?! Phoebe Buffay : I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book. Chandler Bing : Thank you for writing your book. Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! So are you. Chandler Bing : I told you I should not wear this color. Phoebe Buffay : Mon... Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks they're supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks it's at seven. Chandler Bing : So you knew we were gonna miss the movie! Phoebe Buffay : That's right. Monica Geller : Inside of telling us you decided to write in your stupid book! Phoebe Buffay : Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe I'm going to lose this job! Chandler Bing : Oh I'm so sorry man! Is there anything I can do? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard. Wayne : Hey Joey, I want to talk to you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Well, I don't want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hi, how are ya? Wayne : Joey, Joey, I-I-I'll g-get you your job back if you help me out. Joey Tribbiani : Why should I help you?! Chandler Bing : The reason he just said. Joey Tribbiani : What do you need? Wayne : I-I-I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman, y'know Sarah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Wayne : I wish I could talk to her. Joey Tribbiani : What are you in love with her or something? Wayne : Yeah. Her. All of them. Anyone. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I've been there my friend. Wayne : Listen, I-I guarantee you keep your job if you can teach me how to talk to women like you do. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow Wayne, it's not really something you can teach y'know? It's pretty much something you're born with if you--You-you can teach it! I'll show you right how to do it. Rachel Green : I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage. Paul Stevens : How to make the next one even shorter? Rachel Green : Now wait a minute that's not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didn't tell me. Maybe I have to pee again. Paul Stevens : Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives? Ross Geller : Y'know what? I-I-I... I-I have had enough of this! Y'know, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if you've got a problem with me, frankly... Paul Stevens : Are you yelling at me?! Ross Geller : God no! Elizabeth Stevens : Y'know what daddy? If you don't like Ross, that's fine. It doesn't matter to me, I'm gonna go out with him anyway. Paul Stevens : Really?! Ross Geller : Well if it doesn't matter to her, it doesn't matter to me! Still not yelling! Paul Stevens : Wow. What can I say? This doesn't make me like you any better! Ross Geller : That's okay, I'm not so crazy about myself right now either. Paul Stevens : Then we agree? Ross Geller : Uh yeah, I guess-Yeah! I guess so. Paul Stevens : Neither of us like Ross! Elizabeth Stevens : I like Ross. Ross Geller : Ohhh! Kids! Rachel Green : Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is! Ross Geller : That's okay Rach, we're not liking Ross right now. Rachel Green : Oh! I've got a lot of those too! Joey Tribbiani : Well, it turns out you were right C.H.E.E.S.E. C.H.E.E.S.E. : The shipment never made it through Omaha? Joey Tribbiani : You got it! And the rabbi's beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! It's your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! Wayne! Wayne!! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, you guys. Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : What's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Well it's just-it's one of those situations that I just hate. Y'know? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum. Joey Tribbiani : Now you're thinking you gotta sleep with him. Phoebe Buffay : No! No! It's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us! Chandler Bing : I'll give up my ticket. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Phoebe Buffay : Okay that's so generous! Chandler Bing : And I think Ross is generous too. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Okay then it's just us girls! Monica Geller : Great. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : So what-what is the exhibit. Phoebe Buffay : It's mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches. Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend! Ross Geller : Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town. Monica Geller : Oh that's great! Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : I mean think about all the money that you're gonna make! Ross Geller : Why? What? Monica Geller : Well, her father pays you for baby-sitting right? Ross Geller : No, no, that's funny. But maybe it's time to move on, let it go, y'know? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeth's father, so ah, he's much older than she is. Looks like I'm not the only one interested in fossils, huh? Rachel Green : I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils. Ross Geller : Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings in his ear. Chandler Bing : Ross. Ross Geller : Oh, come on you guys; that's funny! Y'know? Because he's need-he's got like a hearing aide y'know, 'cause-'cause y'know, 'cause he's all old, and... Paul Stevens : Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, I've decided to accept the fact that you're going out with her. Ross Geller : Really? That okay, that's great. Paul Stevens : Yeah. But then I changed my mind. I'm funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now I'm telling you, I don't want you seeing my daughter anymore. Ross Geller : All right look, I-I realize it upsets you. Paul Stevens : Yes it does. Ross Geller : But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I don't think there's really anything you can do about it. Paul Stevens : I'll call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired. Ross Geller : Ohh! A man with a plan! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek! Joey Tribbiani : I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin' up about something... Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now he's just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, I'll... Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. Yeah I know; we'd be great together! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So I'm back. The Dry Cleaner : Who are you? Joey Tribbiani : Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, I'm ready to go back up on the wall I'm the star of a new TV show. The Dry Cleaner : Show me in the table. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, it's not on TV yet. The Dry Cleaner : Well, then it's not on the wall yet. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? Phoebe Buffay : So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauer's clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that haven't been cleaned yet? Monica Geller : Oh, I love museums! Rachel Green : Umm. Monica Geller : Soakin' up all the culture. Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Where do you want to start? Rachel Green : Ooh, the gift shop! Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, and then lunch. Rachel Green : Oh, wait yes, but I can't eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wow. What, do you think maybe he's gonna tell you that he's gay? Rachel Green : What?! No! Why?! Phoebe Buffay : No reason! That would just be a really big surprise, right? The Museum Official : You can put the aisle over here , and put the wedding ceremony right over here. Rachel Green : I didn't know you could get married here. Monica Geller : This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldn't put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! I mean you'd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. The Museum Official : May I help you? Rachel Green : Oh sorry didn't mean to interrupt. It's just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here? The Museum Official : Yes. We're very popular. There's a two-year waiting list. Sorry! Rachel Green : Monica, you should totally put your name down on the list Monica Geller : What?! Are you crazy?! I'm not getting married! I'm not even engaged. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but there's a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. That's four years. Chandler's not gonna wait that long. He's gonna find somebody else, y'know? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. Rachel Green : Yeah hon, it can't hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if you're not engaged you just don't use it. Monica Geller : Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down. Rachel Green : I'm gonna do it too! Phoebe Buffay : Me too! Rachel Green : Really? Who would, who would you marry? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I don't have anyone right now. Y'know? Rachel Green : Oh Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Don't feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isn't gay. Monica Geller : Phoebe, that stuff is... Phoebe Buffay : Don't even get me started on yours! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show? The Dry Cleaner : I did. Joey Tribbiani : All right, let's get me back up there! The Dry Cleaner : No! It don't go up on the wall! Joey Tribbiani : What-But you saw the show! The Dry Cleaner : Yes, it was very offensive to my people! Joey Tribbiani : Dry cleaners? The Dry Cleaner : Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there! The Dry Cleaner : That's right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing! Joey Tribbiani : Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-that's offensive to Russians. The Dry Cleaner : I've never seen it! Joey Tribbiani : Oh you should, it's great. Ross Geller : This place is really beautiful! Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah, I've been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandma's. Ross Geller : Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyes-Do-do you want to make out? Elizabeth Stevens : Sure! Elizabeth Stevens : Are you okay? What's wrong? Ross Geller : Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father. Elizabeth Stevens : Well, whatever works for ya... Ross Geller : No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before. Elizabeth Stevens : Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, it's kinda fun hiding. Ross Geller : Yeah. Elizabeth Stevens : Hey umm, you brought protection right? Ross Geller : Why?! Are there like bears or something?! Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot. Elizabeth Stevens : I'll just run to the store and get some. Ross Geller : Oh no! Hey-hey, I'm the guy! I'll get it. Elizabeth Stevens : Do you know where the store is? Ross Geller : No. Elizabeth Stevens : Do you want to ride around town on my little pink bicycle? Ross Geller : A little bit. Elizabeth Stevens : I'll be back in ten minutes. Ross Geller : Okay. Elizabeth Stevens : Why don't you get in the hot tub and I'll meet you there. Ross Geller : Ohh, okay. Rachel Green : Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house. Paul Stevens : Thank you, it's my mom's. So this is the kitchen. Chandler Bing : You've reached Monica and Chandler's, if you're listening to this message, we're probably screening. Yeah we are. The Museum Official : Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available... Chandler Bing : This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! Yes, the groom-No! Not the groom!! Rachel Green : It's so secluded up here. Paul Stevens : I know. I like it up here. Rachel Green : I feel like we're the only two people in the world. Oops. Sorry. Paul Stevens : What's the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse? Rachel Green : No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-I-would you-actually, would you go check on that? Paul Stevens : Honey, we don't have any bears here. Rachel Green : Well, okay. Would-would you get me a Diet Coke? Paul Stevens : Okay. I'll be right back. Rachel Green : Okay. What?! What are you doing here?! Ross Geller : What are you doing here?! Rachel Green : I came with Paul! Ross Geller : Yeah, I recognize the ankles! Rachel Green : Get up! Paul Stevens : Here you go honey! Rachel Green : Ahh. Thank you! Paul Stevens : Diet Coke. Rachel Green : Op, ice. I need ice. Paul Stevens : Okay. Rachel Green : Thank you. Paul Stevens : I'll be right back. Ross Geller : You and your ice. Rachel Green : Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! No! Not in there! He's in there! Ross Geller : Did you really hear a bear? Rachel Green : Go-go! Paul Stevens : Here you go honey. One Diet Coke with ice. Rachel Green : Ohh, thank you. Paul Stevens : I'm so happy that you're here. Elizabeth Stevens : Here I am! Paul Stevens : Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeth's here! Who are you talking to? Elizabeth Stevens : Uh, you guys? Paul Stevens : How did you know we were here? Elizabeth Stevens : Umm... Rachel Green : Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage. Elizabeth Stevens : Obviously. Paul Stevens : Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! Rachel Green : Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah! Yep. Rachel Green : Well, why do y'know go in that room and do your homework? Elizabeth Stevens : Ohh, I wouldn't do it in there. That's my dad's bedroom. Rachel Green : That's your, that's your dad's bedroom. That's your dad's bedroom! Paul Stevens : Why are you yelling? Rachel Green : Whoa, that Diet Coke just went straight to my head! Woo! Monica Geller : Hi, honey. Chandler Bing : See you later. Monica Geller : What? I-I bought groceries, I was gonna make you dinner! Chandler Bing : Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! The Museum Official : Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. Monica Geller : Oh no! The Museum Official : I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available... Monica Geller : Oh please, he didn't hear it! He didn't hear it!! Chandler Bing : This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! Monica Geller : NOOOO!!!!!!!! Female Clerk : Can I help you? Joey Tribbiani : Uh yeah, where-where's the guy who decides who's pictures go up on the wall? Female Clerk : He's not here right now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? I'm an actor; I'm kinda getting my picture up there on the wall. Female Clerk : Y'know, there are two people who could put your picture up there. Joey Tribbiani : Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? You're the other one right? Paul Stevens : So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night? Elizabeth Stevens : Oh no-no believe me, I'm leaving as soon as possible! Paul Stevens : Good. Good. Not that we don't want you to stay, obviously you're welcome-How much more homework do you have? Elizabeth Stevens : Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out? Rachel Green : Really? Okay. Okay, I-I'll go upstairs. If-if you get me something from the car. Paul Stevens : What do you need from the car? Rachel Green : Surprise me. Paul Stevens : Okay. Rachel Green : So you're gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and that's where everybody's gonna be! Paul Stevens : Just relax. Just relax Paul, you're doing great. She likes you. She... Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Y'know why? Because you're a neat guy. You are the man. You are the man! I still got it. Nice and sexy. You're just a love machine. I'm just a love machine and I won't work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! Showtime. I'm just a love machine, yeah ba-by! Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Monica Geller : Have you seen Chandler?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Why? Monica Geller : The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! I know! How bad is this?! Phoebe Buffay : Well for the regular guy, it's bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God! Monica Geller : I know! I know! And he totally freaked out and I can't find him anywhere! Phoebe Buffay : What are you gonna do? Monica Geller : Well, I'm never gonna listen to you again, that's for sure! "Y'know, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?" Phoebe Buffay : Rachel said that! Monica Geller : Well Rachel's not here! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Here it is! Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" Joey Tribbiani : I didn't do that! Who would've done that?! The Dry Cleaner : Son of a bitch! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, maybe ask this guy. The Dry Cleaner : You, get out of my shop! Phoebe Buffay : Well, what did he do? The Dry Cleaner : He went out with my wife! Phoebe Buffay : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-I-Hey! I did not go out with your wife! Okay? I went out with her! The Dry Cleaner : That's my wife!!! Get out! Phoebe Buffay : Well, we should go. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Elizabeth Stevens : Ross? Ross? Ross Geller : Elizabeth! Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go out this window. I'll meet you at the front door. Just tell them you're going home, okay? Elizabeth Stevens : Okay! Rachel Green : Oh wait-wait-wait!! No! Don't go in there! Don't go in there! I need another soda! Paul Stevens : Ross! Rachel Green : Oh my God Ross! What in heaven's name are you doing here? Ross Geller : And that is why we cannot see each other anymore. Paul Stevens : Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk. Elizabeth Stevens : Daddy! Paul Stevens : You're next!! Elizabeth Stevens : Okay. I didn't know he was here. Paul Stevens : Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or I'll have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!" Ross Geller : Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain... Paul Stevens : No, let me explain! Fired!! Ross Geller : All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. Paul Stevens : What? Ross Geller : And I too am just a love machine. Paul Stevens : Ross, let me show you where the guest room is. Monica Geller : I'm so sorry. Please, stop freaking out. Chandler Bing : I'm not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. Monica Geller : Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, what's the harm in that? Chandler Bing : Right here! Monica Geller : Chandler, please don't think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel... Chandler Bing : Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way! Monica Geller : It was a mistake. Please don't take this to mean anything, because it doesn't. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yes, if it really doesn't mean anything, because you know that I'm just not ready... Monica Geller : I know! I know. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go tell Joey that that you're back. I was really worried about you. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, did she buy it? Chandler Bing : Totally. Phoebe Buffay : So did Heldi show you the place? Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe you're gonna ask Monica to marry you! Chandler Bing : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Gunther. Gunther : Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there wants the biscotti. Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go. Gunther : Do you still work here? Joey Tribbiani : No! No, I quit a long time ago. Did I forget to you that one? I'm sorry. Gunther : Oh that's cool, I was gonna fire you anyway. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Chandler Bing : Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I can't figure this out! It's so hard! Should I get her a Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or a-ah-ah! Paper cut! Phoebe Buffay : Now, have you told anyone else? Chandler Bing : No, I don't want to tell anybody else because I don't want Monica to find out. Phoebe Buffay : You told me. Chandler Bing : Well, it's because I trust you, you're one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadn't been on the toilet. Chandler Bing : Me too. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! So Chandler, wanna go to the coffeehouse? Chandler Bing : Oh all right. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, coffeehouse. Ross Geller : Oh perfect, we were just gonna see if you wanted to go. Chandler Bing : Oh well, we don't because we got...the...other pl-place. Ross Geller : How rude. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. You wanna bite? Phoebe Buffay : So how are things going with Paul? Rachel Green : Good. Although y'know, he-he's a private guy. Y'know, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings. Phoebe Buffay : That's easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that won't open. Rachel Green : So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table? Phoebe Buffay : No that's what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone. Paul Stevens : Hi honey. Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Watch this. Paul Stevens : How are you? Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Paul! Paul Stevens : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : So how are things going with you? Paul Stevens : Can't complain. Paul Stevens : Come on. Rachel Green : Okay. Paul Stevens : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Paul Stevens : Ross! Ross Geller : Great to see you! Paul Stevens : Good to see you too! Ross Geller : How you doing? Paul Stevens : Good. Bye! Ross Geller : Okay! You take care! Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, what-what was the deal with you and Chandler blowing us off before? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! That was so weird, huh? Ross Geller : Phoebe, why'd you do it? Phoebe Buffay : I didn't do it! It was Chandler! He's... He's mad at you! Ross Geller : What?! Why?! Phoebe Buffay : Please, I think you know why. Ross Geller : I can't think of anything. Phoebe Buffay : Come on Ross, you're a paleontologist, dig a little deeper. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didn't invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago? Phoebe Buffay : Do you think that's something that he'd be mad at you for? Ross Geller : I guess it could. Phoebe Buffay : Well then I think that's it. Ross Geller : Well, if he's angry, he really shouldn't just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, if that's what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table. Paul Stevens : Honey I made a reservation at China Garden, is that okay? Rachel Green : Yeah that's great. But first, wait, talk to me, talk to me. Tell me about your day. Paul Stevens : It was fine. Rachel Green : Okay. Hey, what are you thinking? What are you thinking right now? Paul Stevens : I'm thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress. Rachel Green : Yeah that's great Paul, but y'know I wanna know what--Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Y'know they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours. Paul Stevens : Are you talking about having sex? Rachel Green : No Paul, I don't know anything about you! Y'know, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood! Paul Stevens : Normal. Rachel Green : Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, that's always a painful time! Y'know your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while you're sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag. Paul Stevens : Nope! That never happened to me! Rachel Green : Well, you're lucky you never met that bitch Sharon Majesky. Anyway, umm... The rest of you life, y'know? Any regrets? Paul Stevens : Nope. Rachel Green : All right Paul, I'm not asking for a lot here. Okay? Just give me something. Anything! Paul Stevens : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Paul Stevens : Okay. Rachel Green : All right. Paul Stevens : When I was six years old. Rachel Green : Hm-mmm. Paul Stevens : I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year. Rachel Green : That's-that's great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Let's go. Paul Stevens : It was horrible. They called me chicken boy. Rachel Green : Oh! Paul Stevens : And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasn't really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here you can see it. Rachel Green : Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I see the scare. Listen, Paul, I think this is really great that-that y'know, you shared your feelings. It's really, it's beautiful, but umm, what do you say we go share some food? Paul Stevens : Oh, I couldn't eat now. Rachel Green : What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken! Paul Stevens : Chicken? Chicken boy! Rachel Green : My God, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that! I wouldn't do that! Chandler Bing : Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store we've been too and I can't find the perfect ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! It's a beautiful selection. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so maybe you don't get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Y'know? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, y'know? Or an engagement tiara? Or-ooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I'm so glad I picked you to help me with this. Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm gonna stick with the ring. Oh, this one's nice! I like this one! Sir? Uh, kind sir? Can I see this one? Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out. Male Jeweler : Can I help you? Chandler Bing : Uh-uh, yes. I would like to see that ring please. Phoebe Buffay : Or not, whatever. Male Jeweler : This ring is from the 1920s, it's a one and a half carat diamond with sapphires on either side. Chandler Bing : Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you...hold out that ring and ask me to marry you? Male Jeweler : Okay. Will you marry me? Chandler Bing : Oh my God that's it, that's the ring! How much is it? Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, I-I will handle this! How much is it? Male Jeweler : 8,600. Phoebe Buffay : We will give you $10. Male Jeweler : Are you interested in this ring?! Chandler Bing : Yes! Yes, but I can only pay $8,000. Male Jeweler : Okay, I can let it go at eight. Phoebe Buffay : We stand firm at $10. Male Jeweler : How would you like to pay? Chandler Bing : Uh, credit card. Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. Okay, I'll go get it. You guard the ring. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Listen, I'm sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10. Male Jeweler : Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. Phoebe Buffay : I'll give you $1 for them. Ross Geller : Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday? Joey Tribbiani : No. Ross Geller : Remember? You-you were eating pizza. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay. Well, apparently Chandler's angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, we're supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us! Ross Geller : Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, y'know? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow that's a great idea! And I still have his credit card. Gunther : Here you go. Ross Geller : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. Y'know I gotta tell ya, sometimes I just-I don't get Chandler. Y'know, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you don't get all upset. Ross Geller : All the time? Joey Tribbiani : All the time! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God!! Monica Geller : Still crying? Rachel Green : Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didn't know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster! Monica Geller : Y'know, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex. Rachel Green : What's the other one? Monica Geller : I don't know, I've never had to use the other one. I'm just saying y'know, if we're having sex, he's not gonna be talking. Rachel Green : Oh that's right. You're the talker. Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues. Monica Geller : Oh, we have some... Rachel Green : No you don't! Phoebe Buffay : Okay umm, I'd also like to try on the tiara. Oh yeah. Okay. What do you think, too much? Male Jeweler : A tad. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. Something's missing. It's not... Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out. Male Jeweler : Where's the 1920s princess cut ring. Female Jeweler : I just sold it to that gentleman. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! Paul Stevens : Rachel? Chandler Bing : No. How are ya Paul? Paul Stevens : Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you? Chandler Bing : No, did he hug you?! Paul Stevens : No! No! It's just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad. Chandler Bing : Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads. Paul Stevens : Hey Chandler? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Paul Stevens : Would you.......Would you hug me? Chandler Bing : I'm a little busy here Paul. Paul Stevens : That's exactly what my dad used to say! Chandler Bing : Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. Oh hey! There you go. Okay. Paul Stevens : Five more seconds. Chandler Bing : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Paul Stevens : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! Hi, Paul is it? Chandler Bing : Do you have my credit card? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, it's in my... In...in my pocket. My back pocket! My back pocket! Chandler Bing : Thank God! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey listen I got us tickets to a Knicks game tonight. Chandler Bing : Oh, I can't go. Joey Tribbiani : Come on! It'll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and... Paul probably... Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, I found the perfect ring. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's uh, that's pretty nice but I'm gonna go with the one I picked first. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. It's over! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Some guy bought it. I'm sorry. I tired to stop it but they put me in jail! Chandler Bing : They put you in jail? Phoebe Buffay : The little jail between the doors! Chandler Bing : Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring! Phoebe Buffay : I know, I'm sorry! But y'know, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring. Chandler Bing : Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe it was the guy. Chandler Bing : It was the ring! Ross Geller : Hey! So uh, was he excited about the tickets? Joey Tribbiani : No! He blew us off! Ross Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : I know! Ross Geller : I can't believe it. Can I tell you something? I'm a little mad at him now. Joey Tribbiani : Can I tell you something? Me too. Ross Geller : Y'know what? He didn't want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we don't talk to him at all! Joey Tribbiani : Ooooh! Freeze him out. Ross Geller : That's right! Joey Tribbiani : I like it! Ross Geller : Eh? We'll show him! Joey Tribbiani : From now on, it's gonna be Joey and Ross, best friends. Okay! We're gonna be the new Joey and Chandler. Rachel Green : Hi. I'm back. Paul Stevens : Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, I've written it all down! Rachel Green : Ah that's great. No actually that's... That's great! That's really great! Y'know, I gotta tell ya writing, I mean writing, gets me uh, gets me kinda hot. Paul Stevens : Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! Y'know what I wanted to be when I was that age? Rachel Green : A lover? Paul Stevens : A surfer. Rachel Green : Oh yeah surfer? Paul Stevens : I wanted to be one with the waves, y'know? Rachel Green : Okay, hold on real quick, hold on a second let me just uh, get a little more comfortable here. Wait, now wait a second, this isn't too revealing is it? Paul Stevens : No. What ever happened to that little dude. So full of dreams... Rachel Green : I don't care about the little dude! I can't! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Y'know, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then it's only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I could've made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking! Paul Stevens : What?! I can't believe you're trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me! Rachel Green : Oh... I'm sorry. I... I-I don't mean-I didn't mean to stifle you. I... This is all just a little overwhelming. Paul Stevens : Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to overwhelm you. It's just that, when those gates open, you... Hard to close 'em. But they are closed now. Believe me. Rachel Green : I'm so glad, I'm so glad you shared. And I'm glad that you're done. What do you say we umm... Paul Stevens : I would really like that. Paul Stevens : That was...so good. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : I can't believe I let you talk me into buying this stupid gumball machine looking ring! Phoebe Buffay : It's not a stupid gumball machine looking ring! It's a beautiful ring! Chandler Bing : No, it's not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monica's face when I gave it to her, y'know? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. Look, this is the most important thing I'm gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure it's perfect. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. 'Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something. Chandler Bing : I can't do that. Phoebe Buffay : Well you certainly can't give her that stupid gumball ring. Phoebe Buffay : There he is! Chandler Bing : Okay and he hasn't proposed yet because she has no ring on her finger. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! You're good! After this, we should solve crimes. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Okay, go, go, go get him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call. Customer : Who is it? Phoebe Buffay : It is your office. Customer : Do you know who at my office? Phoebe Buffay : John? Customer : Oh John! Great! Phoebe Buffay : Here he is. Chandler Bing : Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring you're about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, I'm gonna need to have that back. But, in exchange I'm willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. Ew. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! I would trade. Customer : It is beautiful, but I'm gonna use this one. Now, if you'll excuse me. Chandler Bing : No-no! This is my fiancee and her heart was set on that ring. You don't want to break her heart now do you? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, do you want to break a dying woman's heart? Customer : You're dying?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, she's dying... Of a cough apparently. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if I'm not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity... Chandler Bing : Okay, that's enough honey! Customer : I don't know. Let me see the ring. Chandler Bing : Great! Okay, here. Customer : All right. Chandler Bing : Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! And you are about to marry a wonderful man! Hey! I'm marrying a dead woman! Chandler Bing : Guys? I've got something important to tell ya. Guys? Guys?! I'm gonna ask Monica to marry me. Joey Tribbiani : I think we gotta end the freeze out. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, is this, is this for real? Chandler Bing : Yeah, check out the ring. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God!! Ross Geller : So you two are really serious?! Chandler Bing : Yep, pretty much. Ross Geller : You-you're gonna get married?! I mean... We're gonna be brothers-in-law! Joey Tribbiani : And-and-and-and-and-and, and we're gonna be friends again! Chandler Bing : Heyyyy-What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh it's water under the bridge, forget it! Chandler Bing : Okay! I was gonna wait 'til uh, it was official y'know? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because you're my best friends. Joey Tribbiani : I think I'm gonna cry! Rachel Green : Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, I'll dump you too! Chandler Bing : I'm gonna ask Monica to marry me. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! You guys are gonna be so happy! Chandler Bing : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Where's all the tissues?! Chandler Bing : Check out the ring. Rachel Green : Nice! One and a half carat easy. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey-hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : Chandler's gonna ask Monica to marry him! Phoebe Buffay : Oh I know, I helped pick out the ring. Ross Geller : You told her before you told us? Chandler Bing : Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? Guys? Guys? Ross Geller : God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever! Rachel Green : Yeah? Well, you should know. You've bought like a billion of 'em. Ross Geller : Yeah, you didn't get one. Chandler Bing : Okay, well tonight's the big night. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Okay listen, how are you gonna ask her? Chandler Bing : It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. I'm going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast I'm just gonna propose. Rachel Green : Ohh... Joey Tribbiani : That sounds perfect! Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : You're gonna mess it up let me do it. Chandler Bing : I'm not gonna mess it up. Phoebe Buffay : If she says no, can I have the ring? Chandler Bing : She's not gonna say no. Phoebe Buffay : If! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi Monica. Chandler Bing : Give me it! Phoebe Buffay : It's gone. Chandler Bing : Phoebe! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi Monica. Phoebe Buffay : We're practically kissing. Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler? Chandler Bing : Well, Monica and Chandler can't go. We're going to dinner remember?! Rachel Green : Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Monica Geller : What's the big deal? Chandler Bing : I just get mad when Rachel doesn't remember where we're going. Joey Tribbiani : Where are you going? Rachel Green : How about you guys? Phoebe Buffay : Open bar? Rachel Green : I think so. Phoebe Buffay : I can do that for the kids. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know what? I'll come too. I'm making money now; it's about time I give something back. Chandler Bing : Well, you could also give back the money you owe me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Have a benefit. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight? Ross Geller : Oh no, I have plans with Elizabeth. Chandler Bing : Oh, so you're already doing your part for the kids. Ross Geller : I'm sorry, it's just one of my last nights together before she leaves for camp-to be a counselor! Monica Geller : Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going? Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didn't agree to that! Monica Geller : Do you really see this as a long-term thing? Ross Geller : I don't know. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, you are 12 years older than her. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way? #ALL# : Yeah! Yeah, sort of. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Uh-uh-Wow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesn't really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, I'm the one dating Elizabeth, not you! Joey Tribbiani : That's not what she said last night. Rachel Green : See? Now, he could date her. Chandler Bing : Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Hey, you marry me! What's going on little elves? Joey Tribbiani : It's the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah you have the ring? Chandler Bing : Yeah, right here in my pocket. Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oop! Chandler Bing : Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and she's gonna know. Ross Geller : Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here! Monica Geller : Hi guys. Chandler Bing : You are beautiful. Monica Geller : Oh, thank you! What's going on? Rachel Green : We're just really...very excited about this charity event that we have to go to. Phoebe Buffay : Here. Rachel Green : Oh! Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : So now what's going on here? Rachel Green : Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it. Phoebe Buffay : No, I know what a silent is I meant, what's going on with your hair? Rachel Green : Uh, wh-why? Phoebe Buffay : No! It's nice! Mr. Thompson : Nice to see you Rachel. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! Mr. Thompson : So glad you brought someone. Rachel Green : Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. He's the head of my department. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi. Rachel Green : And I also brought my friend Joey... Joey Tribbiani : Oh!! Shrimp toast! Rachel Green : Well, y'know I-I don't know where he is. Mr. Thompson : Well, I hope you're gonna bid on some things Rachel. Rachel Green : Well, y'know what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris. Mr. Thompson : Ohh, nice choice. Rachel Green : Yeah. Mr. Thompson : Good luck. Rachel Green : Thank you. Okay, twenty dollars. Zoe : Shut the door! Shut the door!! Ross Geller : What's-what's going on? Elizabeth Stevens : The guys across the hall are throwing water balloons at us. Ross Geller : Oh, you have to call the police! That's what I did to the kids in my building! Elizabeth Stevens : No, it's a water balloon fight! We started it! Ross Geller : Oh! Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, it's supposed to be excellent. The director is the same... Elizabeth Stevens : Who drank all the Kamikazes? Sarah : Nobody! We put them in here! Elizabeth Stevens : You want some?! Ross Geller : No! Okay! Okay! Okay, look, can I, can I just-just talk to you for a second? Elizabeth Stevens : Yeah, sure. Ross Geller : Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? It's-it's gotten great reviews! Y'know the uh... First Dorm Guy : Attack! Second Dorm Guy : Put your balloons down! The Girls : You put your balloons down!! First Dorm Guy : You put your balloons down!! Ross Geller : Everybody put their balloons down!!! Now this is a nice suit!! Mr. Thompson : Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300. Rachel Green : Ugh! So close! Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Look! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : I got me some drinks! Rachel Green : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Open bar! Rachel Green : Well now it's an empty bar. Phoebe Buffay : You just can't stand anyone else enjoying themselves can't you? Mr. Thompson : And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22-foot gentleman's day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000! Joey Tribbiani : I won! That was my guess! Rachel Green : What?! What?! What?! Joey Tribbiani : I guessed 20,000! Rachel Green : Joey! It is an auction! You don't guess, you buy! Joey Tribbiani : What?! I don't have 20,000! Mr. Thompson : Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!! Rachel Green : Joey! Sit down! Phoebe Buffay : Forget her! You enjoy this!! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. I remembered it. The champagne is here. Monica Geller : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yes! Yes! I'm good! Are you good? Are you good? Is everything-are you-are you perrr-perfect?! Monica Geller : Yeah. I'm okay. I'm actually-I'm a little cold, can I have your jacket? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. Uh, no you can't have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you should've brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay? Monica Geller : Are you sure you're okay? Chandler Bing : Yes! I'm fine. In fact I've been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you. Monica Geller : Ohh that's sweet! Chandler Bing : Okay umm, before I meant you I had really little life and I couldn't imagine growing old with... Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I know, but just let me say it. Monica Geller : Oh my God, Richard. Chandler Bing : What?! I'm Chandler! Oh, that's Richard! Monica Geller : Oh God, maybe he won't see us. Richard! Richard Burke : Monica! Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey, hey! I don't know why I did that! Monica Geller : Hey, it's good to see you! Richard Burke : You too, you let uh, your hair grow long. Monica Geller : Yeah-Oh that's right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back. Richard Burke : Well, my nose got lonely. Chandler Bing : And uh, you don't have a mustache which is good. I'm Chandler; I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable. Richard's Date : Hi, I'm Lisa. Chandler Bing : Hi. Richard Burke : Oh, I'm sorry. Lisa, Monica, Chandler. We used to date. Chandler Bing : Richard! No one supposed to know about us! See I, did it again. Monica Geller : Chandler, wh-why don't we sit down? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'll sit down. Monica Geller : It's good to see you Matire'D : You're table's ready sir. Richard Burke : Oh. Good to see you guys. Chandler Bing : Yes. Matire'D : Or if you prefer, this table is available. Richard Burke : That might be fun. Rachel Green : What were you thinking?! Joey Tribbiani : I didn't know it was an auction! Rachel Green : Wh?! Joey Tribbiani : I figured, take a guess, help a charity, free boat! Rachel Green : Why would a charity give away a free boat?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! Charity? Rachel Green : Ugh! Phoebe Buffay : Well, just buy the damn boat! Rachel Green : Phoebe, don't you think you've had enough to drink? Phoebe Buffay : I'm just helping the kids! Rachel Green : How is you drinking helping the kids? Phoebe Buffay : Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink. Mr. Thompson : Mr. Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hi! Mr. Thompson : Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center. Joey Tribbiani : Just out of curiosity, how-how much is that boat worth? Mr. Thompson : I think it was valued at 19,000 Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I was pretty close. Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I can't buy the boat, I don't have any money. Rachel Green : Joey! Joey, good one! Mr. Thompson : That's good. Very good! Joey Tribbiani : So uh listen, I think I'm gonna take off now. Rachel Green : Hey! You...can't...leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me! Joey Tribbiani : Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I don't have that kind of money! Rachel Green : I know. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what we're gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then you're just gonna pay the difference. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I don't know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Y'know? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine! Rachel Green : Not great. Monica Geller : And so, we're hiding in the bathroom. Richard Burke : And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in. Monica Geller : So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know they're going at it right on the bathroom floor. Lisa : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy. Richard Burke : It's so great seeing you guys again. I'd like to make a toast. Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds it's morning and is refreshed." Monica Geller : Ohh. Chandler Bing : What?! Ross Geller : Oh my God, you guys!! Chandler Bing : Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner! Ross Geller : Who? Chandler Bing : Richard! Ross Geller : What? A-ohh! Ohh. Oh that's right that's right. That's Richard's favorite place too. Chandler Bing : Oh you knew that. Good! Monica Geller : I thought you were going out with Elizabeth. Ross Geller : Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight. Monica Geller : Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just can't get out of! Ross Geller : Y'know, maybe she is too young for me. Y'know, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I don't know what to do. Monica Geller : Why don't you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean that's what I did when I first weighing stuff. Ross Geller : Okay umm, bad stuff. Well, I'm-I'm 12 years older than she is. Monica Geller : If the school finds out you're fired. Ross Geller : Hmm. Monica Geller : She's leaving for three months. Chandler Bing : For camp! Ross Geller : Okay, good stuff. Umm, well she's-she's sweet and pretty and... Monica Geller : Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didn't you?! Ross Geller : No! No! I...didn't do that. It's just... Okay, honestly no. I don't, I don't see a big future with her. Monica Geller : Okay well I think...that's your answer. Ross Geller : I've got to talk to her. Ugh, I hate this part. Chandler Bing : Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if you're not careful you may not get married at all this year! Joey Tribbiani : Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one. Rachel Green : Oh great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Rachel Green : Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip? Phoebe Buffay : It's a trip for two! Excuse me. Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table? Emil Alexander : That was me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, en chante. Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table? Mr. Bowmont : That's me. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, yes. Rachel Green : Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000. Joey Tribbiani : You-you have to pay that! It's not just a guess. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Mr. Bowmont : I was actually relieved uh I didn't win the boat. My wife would've killed me. Rachel Green : Ohh... Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me?! She's gonna this boat! Rachel Green : Y-Yeah! What-what is your wife's name? Mr. Bowmont : It's Pam. Rachel Green : Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, "The Pam." Joey Tribbiani : Aw-awww! Mr. Bowmont : I don't think she'd like that. Rachel Green : Okay, uh-uh imagine this, "The Mr. Bowmont." Joey Tribbiani : Oooooh... Mr. Bowmont : I don't think so dear. Rachel Green : Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. All right, you are settin' sail up the Hudson! You've got the wind in your h--arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that you've always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin'! You can-ooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when you're old, Cappy. Mr. Bowmont : What the hell, it's for a good cause! All right! Joey Tribbiani : No way! It's mine!! Rachel Green : What?! What?! Joey Tribbiani : All that stuff you just said? I want that! Rachel Green : But Joey you don't have $20,000! Joey Tribbiani : Who cares?! I-I'll make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, you're back! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! Monica Geller : Why do you want to see my hand? Phoebe Buffay : I wanna see what's in your hand. I wanna see the trash. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Eww! Oh, it's all dirty. You should throw this out. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : What did you guys just do?! Phoebe Buffay : What happened? Chandler Bing : Richard was there so I couldn't do it! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Noooo... Chandler Bing : I'm gonna do it tomorrow y'know, and-and surprise her, but now you've ruined it! Joey Tribbiani : We didn't ruin it! Chandler Bing : Who walks into a room and asks to see a person's hands?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor... Joey Tribbiani : Glove salesman! Phoebe Buffay : Good one! Yeah. Chandler Bing : This is terrible. What am I going to do? Phoebe Buffay : Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesn't know for sure, so just throw her off the track. Chandler Bing : That's right, I can throw her off. I can make her think marriage is the last thing on my mind. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that you're scared of commitment! Convince her that you're a little coward! Chandler Bing : I can do that, I've had 30 years of practice. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! Monica Geller : I had to go all the way to the basement because some idiot keeps stuffing the trash chute with pizza boxes! Joey Tribbiani : That guy's still doing that?! Rachel Green : Hey! Oh my God you're here, let me see your hand!! Phoebe Buffay : No, you're too late!!! She already took out the trash!!! Ross Geller : Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didn't seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake? Elizabeth Stevens : Ross! Wait! Ross Geller : Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about... Elizabeth Stevens : You suck!! Ross Geller : What?! Ross Geller : Okay, break-up's still on! Chandler Bing : Okay, okay, here she comes! How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesn't want to get married? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. I never noticed that before. Monica Geller : Hi guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : What are you up too? Chandler Bing : Oh, just hanging out, talkin' about uh, websites. Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Big Brother. Monica Geller : Well that's a little crazy. Although I am y'know glad to hear that you're branching out on what you look at on the Internet. Chandler Bing : Yeah, well... Y'know, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever want to get married huh? Monica Geller : Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world! Chandler Bing : Eh... Monica Geller : Okay well that's good to know. Joey Tribbiani : The Mr. Bowmont's here!!! Waitress : Hey Monica, there's a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in? Monica Geller : Sure, I love this part! Waitress : Come on in. Richard Burke : Hi! Monica Geller : Richard! Richard Burke : Actually, I'm not here to complement the chef. Monica Geller : Ohh... Oh, that's okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So what's up? Richard Burke : Well, it was great seeing you the other night. Monica Geller : Oh, good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that? Richard Burke : No! I came here to tell you something else. I came here to tell you I still love you. Monica Geller : What uh-What did you-What?! Richard Burke : I still love you. And I know I probably shouldn't even be here telling you this, I mean you're with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say he's straight I'll believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didn't tell ya I'd regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did. Monica Geller : Y'know you're really not supposed to be back here! Richard Burke : Well yeah, I'm sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you. Monica Geller : Oh God... Why don't they put chairs back here?! Richard Burke : I know this is crazy but am I too late? Monica Geller : What the... Yes you're too late! Where was all this three years ago?! Richard Burke : Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Y'know after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head! Monica Geller : What were you doing in Africa? Richard Burke : Working with blind kids. Monica Geller : Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I... I'm sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen. Richard Burke : Okay that's fine, I'll walk away. And I'll never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandler's willing to give you everything I am. Monica Geller : Well he is! Yeah, I mean marriage is all he talks about! My goodness, in fact, I'm the one that's making him wait! Richard Burke : You are? Monica Geller : Yeah! Richard Burke : Why? Monica Geller : Why? Because of the government. Rachel Green : Isn't it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin' married. Phoebe Buffay : I know, they're gonna be so happy together. Rachel Green : Ohh... I mean two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen? Phoebe Buffay : Not that often! Rachel Green : No! I'm so happy for them! Phoebe Buffay : Me too! So happy for them! Rachel Green : I'm so happy and not at all jealous. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! No God, definitely not jealous! Rachel Green : I mean I'm probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean what's 2%? That's nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Totally. I'm like 90/10. Rachel Green : Yeah me too. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, have you guys scene Chandler? Rachel Green : Wh-no, but y'know who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille. Monica Geller : So that marriage stuff that you were saying yesterday, you don't really believe that do you? Chandler Bing : Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Let's take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs don't mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and that's just an ordinary pig not even a pig that's good at sports! Monica Geller : Yeah, but that's pigs not people! Chandler Bing : If marriage worked, I'd be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%. Monica Geller : Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married? Chandler Bing : Well, never say never but y'know probably uh yeah, never. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Then-then-then what are we even doing?! What is this?! Chandler Bing : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why don't you put down your copy of 'The Rules' huh mantrap?! Monica Geller : Y'know what?! I gotta go! Ugh! Chandler Bing : It's okay, I got a plan. Rachel Green : We're gonna find love! Phoebe Buffay : Definitely! Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm pretty confident about that. That's what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though. Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean? Rachel Green : Well y'know, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time they're 40, they marry each other. Phoebe Buffay : You mean a backup? Rachel Green : Exactly! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah I got that. Rachel Green : You do? Phoebe Buffay : Hm-mmm. Rachel Green : Who? Phoebe Buffay : Joey. Rachel Green : Joey?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : Are you serious?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I locked him years ago! Rachel Green : Wh... So... If neither of you are married by the time you're 40, you're gonna marry Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal. Rachel Green : Oh, seriously? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, yeah. I think his exact words were... Rachel Green : Charming. Phoebe Buffay : Well hey, it's just a backup. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica! Monica Geller : Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror? Joey Tribbiani : This is for my boat, pretty cool huh? Monica Geller : Yeah, it's great. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, what's the matter?! Talk to the captain! Monica Geller : I'm just having one of those days where you realize you're in a dead-end relationship! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler giving you a hard time huh? Monica Geller : It's not like I want to get married tomorrow! It's just that I-I'd like to believe that I'm in a relationship that's actually going somewhere, that I'm not just wasting my time! Joey Tribbiani : Well, you know Chandler. Monica Geller : No I don't know Chandler! Not anymore! It's like it's like something's changed. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you changed? Monica Geller : I didn't change! Joey Tribbiani : Maybe that's the problem. Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler is a complex fellow, one who is unlikely to take a wife. Monica Geller : Is that some kind of boat talk? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! I haven't totally decided how to talk on my boat yet. Monica Geller : What does he think? Does he think I'm just gonna wait around for nothing? Joey Tribbiani : Monica face it, Chandler is against marriage. And-and always will be! Monica Geller : Well there's some people who do want to marry me. Joey Tribbiani : There are? Monica Geller : Yeah! Richard! Joey Tribbiani : R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! And-and Chandler's tellin' ya how much he hates marriage?! Monica Geller : That's right. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler loves marriage!! Monica Geller : You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that he's a-a complex fellow who's unlikely to take a wife! That-that he's against marriage and always will be! Joey Tribbiani : You got that from what I said?! Narrator : When the Cretaceous period ended, the dinosaurs were gone. Ross Geller : What happened you guys? Ross Geller : Rach! Rachel Green : Hey you! Ross Geller : Hey, come on in. Rachel Green : Oh thank you. Hey y'know, I'm so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth. Ross Geller : Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought we'd be able to make it work, but uh, I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Rachel Green : Yeah, love. It's a tricky business isn't it? Ross Geller : I guess so. Rachel Green : So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time we're 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and we've-we've already slept together so y'know there'll be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "What's that?!" Ross Geller : Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup. Rachel Green : Exactly. Ross Geller : Ohh, yeah I already have one. Rachel Green : What? Who? Ross Geller : Phoebe. Rachel Green : Phoebe?! Wait a-but-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup. Ross Geller : Ohh, I don't think so. Rachel Green : Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal! Ross Geller : That's impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that. Joey Tribbiani : Where the hell have you been?! Chandler Bing : I was making a coconut phone with the professor. Joey Tribbiani : Richard told Monica he wants to marry her! Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah, I've been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these damn boat shoes wouldn't keep flying off! Chandler Bing : My-Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : I know! They suck!! Chandler Bing : He's not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! I'm supposed to do that! Joey Tribbiani : I know! Chandler Bing : Well what... Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go over there; I'm gonna kick his ass! Will you help me?! Joey Tribbiani : Look, Chandler I don't think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica! Chandler Bing : You're right. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Okay. I'm gonna get the ring! I'm gonna get the ring! I'm gonna go find her and I'm just going to propose! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay great. Joey Tribbiani : Dude-dude-dude! Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat. Monica Geller : Hi. Richard Burke : Hi. Monica Geller : I don't know why I'm here. Richard Burke : I didn't ask. You wanna come in? Monica Geller : I don't know. Richard Burke : Oh, okay. Well, I'll just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. Monica Geller : Chandler is such an idiot! Richard Burke : Drink? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'll have a scotch... Richard Burke : ...on the rocks with a twist? I remember. Monica Geller : Still smoking cigars? Richard Burke : Uh, no! No! That's...art! If it bothers you I can put my art out. Monica Geller : No that's, that's okay. Richard Burke : So Monica let me ask you a question. Y'know, since we broke up do you ever, think about me? Monica Geller : Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago. Richard Burke : Oh really? Monica Geller : Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I don't like my new eye doctor. Richard Burke : Who is it? Monica Geller : Edward Nevski? Richard Burke : Yeah he's no good. Do you ever think about me in a non-eye doctor way? Monica Geller : No. Richard Burke : Ahh. Monica Geller : But getting over was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you. Rachel Green : Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups! Phoebe Buffay : Of course I can! It's just good sense to backup your backup! Look, I've already lost Chandler! Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe! We're both your backup?! Ross Geller : Phoebe, how could you do this to me?! Phoebe Buffay : I don't-Look I don't know what you're complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation! Joey Tribbiani : No we weren't! Ross Geller : I was not! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this kind of back talk is not gonna fly when we're married! Rachel Green : Phoebe you can't have both of them! You have to pick one! Joey Tribbiani : Pick me!! Ross Geller : No! Pick me! I don't want to end up an old maid! Phoebe Buffay : All right well let's see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boat-This is hard! Joey Tribbiani : This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel! Ross Geller : Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too! Phoebe Buffay : No wait! Just-Okay-Just wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Don't make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week. Rachel Green : Oh God, Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : I'm talking about massages. Rachel Green : Oh. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what we're gonna do! I'm gonna write Joey on one napkin and I'm gonna right Ross on the other napkin and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay? Joey Tribbiani : Okay that's fair. Ross Geller : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Good! Rachel Green : Pick one. Phoebe Buffay : Left! Thank you. Rachel Green : You're welcome. Phoebe Buffay : Ross! Rachel Green : Joey! We should just switch. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : I missed you-you ugly, flat faced old freak! Richard Burke : Excuse me? Monica Geller : Oh! Him. Richard Burke : Oh. Whew! Monica Geller : I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-up's apartment! Y'know, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?! Richard Burke : Yeah! You're saying, you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with, a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache. Monica Geller : Y'know, let's face it, I'm not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I don't want that! Richard Burke : I think that's fair. Monica Geller : Fair? Please don't even talk to me about fair! Fair would've been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair would've been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Richard Burke : It's okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. Shhhh. Monica Geller : Nothing. I don't kn-Umm. I don't know. Umm... Richard Burke : I know. Monica Geller : Y'know, I-I... I have to figure...some st-Y'know, some stuff before I can... Richard Burke : Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. I'll be here. Not smoking. Richard Burke : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Where is she? I'm not scared of you! Richard Burke : She's not here and please come in. Chandler Bing : Scotch on the rocks, with a twist, on a coaster? Ha-ha, Monica! Monica! Richard Burke : Okay, she was here, but she left. Chandler Bing : Well where did she go? Richard Burke : Well she said she had to think things over. Chandler Bing : Oh my God, I can't believe this! Y'know, I thought...I thought you were a good guy. Richard Burke : Oh, hey look nothing happened. Chandler Bing : Nothing happened? Nothing? So you didn't tell my girlfriend that you love her? Richard Burke : Well all right, one thing happened? Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I can't believe this! Do you know what you did? My girlfriend is out there thinking things over! You made my girlfriend think!! Richard Burke : Well I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : And what does she have to think about? I love her! Richard Burke : Well, apparently I'm willing to offer her things that you are not. Chandler Bing : But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, y'know? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, she'd be surprised! Richard Burke : Well if it helps, it worked very well. Chandler Bing : It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isn't fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! I was gonna propose tonight. Richard Burke : You were gonna propose? Chandler Bing : Yeah I even got a ring. Did you get a ring? Richard Burke : No I don't have a ring! You go get her Chandler. And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, don't let her go. Trust me. Chandler Bing : Y'know Richard...you are a good guy. Richard Burke : I know. I hate that! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! Chandler Bing : I can't talk to you now, I gotta find Monica! Joey Tribbiani : She's gone. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : She's gone. She had a bag and she left. Chandler Bing : What are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think. Chandler Bing : Well why didn't you stop her?! Why didn't you just tell her it was a plan?! Joey Tribbiani : I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldn't believe me. Chandler Bing : Well where... Where did she go? Joey Tribbiani : To her parent's I think and she said you shouldn't call her. But if I were you I would. Chandler Bing : I can't believe I ruined this. Joey Tribbiani : I am so sorry man. Monica Geller : You wanted it to be a surprise. Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Chandler... In all my life... I never thought I would be so lucky. As to...fall in love with my best...my best... There's a reason why girls don't do this! Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought... Wait a minute, I-I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me? Monica Geller : Yes. Monica Geller : I knew you were likely to take a wife! Joey Tribbiani : Can we come it yet?! We're dying out here! Monica Geller : Come in! Come in! We're engaged!!! Rachel Green : Ohhh, this is the least jealous I've ever been! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isn't here! Monica Geller : Oh... Rachel Green : Oh hell, he's done this three times! He knows what its about! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : I found a note on my door, "Come to Monica's quick, bring champagne and a Three Musketeers bar." Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I'll take that. Ross Geller : What's up? Chandler Bing : Monica and I are engaged. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Congratulations. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Ross Geller : Where is she? Monica Geller : I'm engaged!!!!!! I'm engaged!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, she's been out there for twenty minutes, I'm surprised you didn't hear her on the way over. Ross Geller : Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, "I'm gay! I'm gay!" Can I bring her in? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, let her stay out there. It's sweet. Monica Geller : I'm getting married!!!! I'm gonna be a bride!!!! No, I will not shut up because I'm engaged! Ohh, big talk! Huh, why don't you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20! Chandler Bing : Okay, you get her in here. You bolt the door. I'll be in the closet. Monica Geller : Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Shhh! Okay, umm, I just wanna say that...I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night. Our special night. I mean it just wouldn't be my-our-our night, if you all weren't here to celebrate with me-us-Damnit! Chandler Bing : It's okay, I want this to be your night too. To Monica. Monica Geller : Awww, come on-wait-stop it. Okay, to Monica. Chandler Bing : To Monica! Phoebe Buffay : So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, y'know, I'm kinda musical. Rachel Green : Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt she's even had time to... Phoebe Buffay : Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment? Rachel Green : Yeah, you're on your own. Monica Geller : Y'know what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at The Plaza. Joey Tribbiani : But I-I-I can't stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. I'm supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. What? Chandler Bing : So when you said, "Get up early," did you mean 1986? Joey Tribbiani : You guys don't think I look 19? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, 19! We thought you said 90! Monica Geller : Okay everybody, let's go! Let's go! Rachel Green : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here? Phoebe Buffay : Oh honey no, you ate it all. Joey Tribbiani : I was afraid of that. Monica Geller : Y'know what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! You're not getting dressed. Chandler Bing : Know what I mean? Monica Geller : Yeah, but I don't think we have time. Chandler Bing : There's gonna be a wedding. You're gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress. Monica Geller : Let's do it! Monica Geller : Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, don't worry about it! Chandler Bing : I'm not worried, I'm uh, I'm fascinated. Y'know it's like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. Phoebe Buffay : Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. "First Time I Met Chandler, I Thought He Was Gay. But here I am singing on his wedding day!" Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : If you would've let me finish, it goes on to say that he's probably not gay. Chandler Bing : Sure, you guys don't have this problem, you're made of wood. Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : You look great! Rachel Green : Oh, thanks. Chandler Bing : You okay over there? Rachel Green : I don't know, y'know? I feel a little umm... No, y'know what? Nevermind, I'm gonna be fine. Chandler Bing : Oh, don't worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Wow! Happy Monica's night! Rachel Green : Well thank you, you too. Ross Geller : Thanks. Rachel Green : Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married? Ross Geller : Well sure. But I get married all the time so... Rachel Green : Ohh... Ross Geller : You okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, I guess. I-I... I mean, do-do you think we're ever gonna have that? Ross Geller : You mean, we-you and me? Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no-no-no, no, no! We, you with someone and me with someone. Ross Geller : Oh good, you scared me for a minute. Rachel Green : Shake it off. Ross Geller : I mean-no, it's just 'cause, it's just 'cause you and I were like a nightmare. No, but there was some good times. Rachel Green : No, absolutely. Y'know like it was umm... Ross Geller : Surely you can think of something good. Rachel Green : Yeah, just give me a minute! Oh well, yes, I can think of one good thing. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff. Ross Geller : Yeah? I was good at the stuff huh? Rachel Green : Uh-hmm, uh-hmm, yeah, yeah, I really liked your hands. Ross Geller : My hands? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Way to go guys. Y'know, you-you were really good at the stuff too. Rachel Green : Oh, I know. Hey, y'know what we never did? Oh no, not that. We uh, we never had bonus night! Ross Geller : A what? Rachel Green : Y'know, bonus night. Y'know, when two people break up but they get back together for just one night. Ross Geller : One night, just-just sex. No strings attached? Rachel Green : Yeah-yeah, we never had that, Ross Geller : No. Ross Geller : Okay, this is getting a little crazy. I mean, I'm-I'm sure it would be amazing but I...gotta say I really-really don't think it would be a good idea. Y'know? I really, really...don't. Joey Tribbiani : 'Sup? 'Sup dude? Chandler Bing : Take whatever you want, just please don't hurt me. Joey Tribbiani : So you're playing a little Playstation, huh? That's whack! Playstation is whack! 'Sup with the whack Playstation, 'sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?! Chandler Bing : Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19. Joey Tribbiani : Come on man, really how old?! Chandler Bing : Young! You're a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybody's ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear! Joey Tribbiani : Wow thanks! Chandler Bing : Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Uhh, you've had a lot of sex right? Joey Tribbiani : When? Today? Some, not a lot. Chandler Bing : Well, it's just the reason that I'm asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable to-I mean I really wanted too, but I couldn't.... There huh-hmm, there-there was an incident. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry about that man, that happens. Chandler Bing : It's happened to you? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Once. Chandler Bing : Well, what'd you do? Joey Tribbiani : I did it anyway. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Come on! Let's go! Come on! Why aren't you dressed yet?! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. Monica Geller : No, Phoebe, I'll tell you what, if you get ready now I'll let you play it at the wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Oh that's so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again I'll have to pound on you for a little bit. Monica Geller : Fair enough, now go get ready! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : I'll get everybody else , finally we can start celebrating my- I'm sorry, uh apparently I've opened the door to the past. Ross Geller : Okay, Monica. Mon, uh what-what you just saw... Monica Geller : Can I ask you just a little question, huh? Why tonight? Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : See, I've been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people I'm only planning on doing this once. So, uh y'know, maybe this is selfish and I'm sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that. Rachel Green : Oh honey, but it is just about... Ross Geller : It is! It is! Monica Geller : No it's not! No! No! Now it's about you and Ross getting back together! Rachel Green : What?! Monica Geller : See yeah umm, you kinda stole my thunder! Ross Geller : Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are not getting back together! Rachel Green : Yeah. No. And you know what? Nobody even saw! Ross Geller : Yeah! Monica Geller : That's true. Rachel Green : Honey I swear it we just kissed. Ross Geller : It was just a kiss. Phoebe Buffay : You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding? Monica Geller : Thunder being stolen!! Rachel Green : Okay come on Phoebe, it's nothing! Monica, come on! Ross Geller : Look let's not make a big deal out of this! It was a one time thing. It doesn't even matter! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!! Chandler Bing : I don't think that's what they were talking about Joe!! Phoebe Buffay : What a great night, Chandler can't do it, these guys kissed... Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : You guys kissed! Oh my-this is huge! Rachel Green : No! Ross Geller : Oh no! Rachel Green : No-no, it's really not huge. Ross Geller : And; people thinking it's huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. Which we are not! Monica Geller : Well, we're still talking about it, aren't we? Phoebe Buffay : Well yeah, that and Chandler's problem. Joey Tribbiani : Monica-Monica-Monica-Monica, listen-listen, listen, listen, would-would it make you feel better if we all stop talking about Ross and Rachel. Monica Geller : Yes that would be lovely. Joey Tribbiani : You got it. Okay. Now, I can pass for 19 right?! Chandler Bing : Yes, you can pass for 19. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Chandler Bing : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : Seriously? Chandler Bing : Seriously? Seriously, no! You can play your own age which is 31! Joey Tribbiani : I'm 30! Rachel Green : Joey, you are not! You're 31. Joey Tribbiani : Aww crap! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, we'll get us some Mai Thai's, maybe no more for you though. Monica Geller : Y'know what? I-I think that umm, I don't feel like going to The Plaza. Phoebe Buffay : Why?! Rachel Green : Honey, Monica, this is ridiculous! Look... Monica Geller : No-no, I-I really don't want to talk about it! I don't! Especially with you. Joey Tribbiani : Psss, that is whack! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Okay, I think I'll play it at the wedding. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Well, I think we'll see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you don't." Phoebe Buffay : Well, I don't think Monica is gonna take this away. Joey Tribbiani : Wouldn't she? Phoebe Buffay : Would she? Joey Tribbiani : Would she? You ate my candy bar! Ross Geller : Guess who? Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey, I just realized we kinda let some stuff up in the air... Rachel Green : What do you think Monica mean when she said she didn't want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing. Ross Geller : Still thinking about it huh? Rachel Green : Come on! Serious-ser-ser-seriously, what did she mean by that? Especially you! Ross Geller : Oh, who cares? Rachel Green : I care! Ross Geller : And so do I. Rachel Green : Y'know what, I-I have to go talk to her, would you let me just get changed? Ross Geller : Okay. Sure. Rachel Green : Am I going to let you watch me undress? Ross Geller : No! Monica Geller : I can't believe her, y'know it's just-it's so typical. Chandler Bing : Now Monica, I know you're upset, but don't forget. There is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then there's going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris. Monica Geller : Paris? Chandler Bing : We will take a moonlit walk on the Rue de la . Monica Geller : Keep talking. Chandler Bing : Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because it's romantic, but because I can! Monica Geller : I love you! Monica Geller : Bonjour, monsieur. Chandler Bing : Okay, don't say anything, you might scare it away. Chandler Bing : It's Paris, who knows we're here! Monica Geller : Hi Pheebs, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you said I could sing at your wedding so, I'm just gonna need a small deposit. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, just some good faith money to hold the date. Chandler Bing : Pheebs, we're not giving you a deposit for our wedding! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I see. Joey Tribbiani : They break your heart, don't they? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, I don't really their permission. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! If you wanna sing at their wedding, well you sing at their wedding! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! And if you wanna look 19, then you... You gotta do something about your eyes. Joey Tribbiani : What?! What's wrong with my eyes. Phoebe Buffay : They give you away! There's just-there's just too much wisdom in there. Just put some tea bags on there for like 15 minutes. Joey Tribbiani : And that'll get rid of my wisdom? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe just 10 minutes for you. Chandler Bing : Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I don't care! Monica Geller : Yes. Rachel Green : Monica, what did you mean before when you said you didn't want to talk to anyone, especially me? Chandler Bing : What a great apology! And you accept! Okay, bye-bye! Rachel Green : No-no, seriously-seriously, what was the especially me part about? Monica Geller : Well, let's just say it's not the first time you've stolen my thunder. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Hey, here's a thought. Rachel Green : Monica, what are you talking about? Monica Geller : My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie. Chandler Bing : Ahh, third base. Monica Geller : It's all everybody at the party could talk about! Rachel Green : Monica, y'know what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring! Monica Geller : We had a characturist! Rachel Green : Oh!! Phoebe Buffay : "Whenever I get married, guess who won't get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!" Rachel Green : Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago. Monica Geller : And yet, here we are doing it again. Rachel Green : Ugh, Monica I don't want to steal your stupid thunder! Monica Geller : Oh please! Why else would you have made out with Ross?! Ross Geller : Got me. Rachel Green : All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it ain't gonna happen! Monica Geller : I just thought it would be nice if I could have just this one night! Rachel Green : I swear, I never wanted any part of your night! Monica Geller : Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?! Ross Geller : Uh, Rachel, I've been thinking. I don't think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. I'm calling it off. Chandler Bing : Why to save your dignity my man. Rachel Green : Monica, why? Why would I ever want to take away from your night? Monica Geller : I don't know! I don't-maybe you're feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought you'd get married first! Maybe you can't stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you! Rachel Green : Oh wow. That-y'know what? That is so unfair. Y'know what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, let's go have sex! Monica Geller : I can't believe you're gonna have sex on my engagement night!! Chandler Bing : Well, somebody should. Ross Geller : Look uh, if we're gonna do this... Rachel Green : We're not gonna do this, all right? She's just gonna think that we're doin' it. Ross Geller : Oh, I see, so everybody wins. Rachel Green : Who is it? Monica Geller : It's Monica, open up! Rachel Green : Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! Ross Geller : Oww! Rachel Green : Yeah, you like that baby? May we help you? Monica Geller : I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement I'm going to announce that I'm pregnant! Chandler Bing : How is that ever going to happen?! Rachel Green : All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?! Monica Geller : I know why! Rachel Green : No you don't know why! Monica Geller : Okay! Why?! Rachel Green : Because! Because I was sad. Monica Geller : What do you mean? Rachel Green : Look, I am so...so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that I'm not. I'm not even close. And I don't know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that that's dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler! Chandler Bing : I don't care, she slept with me. Rachel Green : Anyway sweetie, I am, I'm so sorry I ruined your night. Monica Geller : I'm sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. Ross Geller : Well, I'm going to take off. Congratulations man. Chandler Bing : Thanks. Ross Geller : And uh, Rachel. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person who's going to enjoy these bad boys is me. Phoebe Buffay : "We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. That's right, I'm here all night, and Chandler will never get l..." Chandler Bing : Hey! Here's a dollar, consider it a deposit. Please sing at our wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Oh thank you. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Now... "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer--Oh-oh! All right, I'll pound on him in the morning. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Who wants French toast? Ross Geller : Oh, I'll have some! Joey Tribbiani : Good, me too. Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks. Monica Geller : Oww! Chandler Bing : What's the matter honey? Monica Geller : I don't know, my hand feels weird. I guess it's because, I'm engaged! How long before it starts getting annoying? Phoebe Buffay : It starts? Rachel Green : Yeah, so let's get started on the wedding plans! Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Already?! Rachel Green : Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music... Chandler Bing : Oh, I got some thoughts on that. Rachel Green : Oh wait Chandler, too many cooks... Ross Geller : Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : What in God's name is that?! Ross Geller : Oh my God, the wedding book?! I haven't seen that since the forth grade! Monica Geller : This baby has got everything. Take y'know, locations for instance. First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage. Phoebe Buffay : That is so smart! Break it off. Break it off now. Ross Geller : And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now let's take a look at... Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross! Ross Geller : Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : I need to talk to you, it's pretty urgent. It's about Monica and Chandler. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Of course, of course. Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each other's hometowns? Why don't you... Wh-what's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, y'know? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days? Ross Geller : Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-what's wrong with Monica and Chandler? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing-Why?! Ross Geller : Phoebe, you said it was urgent! Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah it is! I'm going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes. Ross Geller : Do you realize I have a classroom full of students? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies? Monica Geller : All right, so I haven't cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : All right umm, a string quartet for the procession. Rachel Green : Aw. Monica Geller : A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding. Chandler Bing : Well, you couldn't get them anyway. Ian doesn't plan anymore and Derrick... And Derrick is a name I shouldn't know. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? Y'know, something a little snugglyer? Chandler Bing : Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place? Joey Tribbiani : Well, the duck... Rachel Green : What?! The duck?! What the hell did the damn duck do now?! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up! Chandler Bing : Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding? Monica Geller : Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Here you go! What do you think about centerpieces? Chandler Bing : Centerpieces! Monica Geller : Yeah! Roses or Lilies? Chandler Bing : Definitely roses. Well, I just think they're a little more weddingy. But Lilies are the clear choice. Monica Geller : Oh my God! It's like one mind. Chandler Bing : Uh-huh! Joey Tribbiani : Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, I'm gonna get cranky! Rachel Green : Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall! Joey Tribbiani : Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick! Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm gonna go! Rachel Green : Now Joey, what did the duck do?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! But he did not eat your face cream! Joey Tribbiani : Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? What the hell is in that face cream? That's so soft. Pillowcases! Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar... The vicar? ...wouldn't be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his... Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! Ross Geller : Uh, Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Oh Ross, hi. Ross Geller : Phoebe, what are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm with a client right now. Ross Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, let's talk outside. Ross Geller : Phoebe, you can't massage people in my apartment! Phoebe Buffay : What's the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandler's! Ross Geller : And they knew about it? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well Ross, what is this really about? Ross Geller : Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just don't know what the big deal is! Ross Geller : The big deal is I don't want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzle-beer! Cold beer. Rachel Green : Hey Joey, what 'cha doing? Joey Tribbiani : Sweepin'. Why? Turn you on? Rachel Green : No. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney? Rachel Green : Joey, did you my face cream? Joey Tribbiani : Where are you going? The vicar won't be home for hours. Rachel Green : Joey, where did you learn that word? Joey Tribbiani : Where do you think, Zelda? Rachel Green : You found my book?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I did! Rachel Green : Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, look I'm sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldn't have, but you got porn! Rachel Green : Hey-hey, y'know what? I don't care! I'm not ashamed of my book. There's nothing with a woman enjoying a little...erotica. It's just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. Joey Tribbiani : You got porn! Ross Geller : Hello. Woman : Hi, is uh Phoebe here? Ross Geller : Uh no-no, she-she's out for the night. Woman : Ohh great. Ross Geller : Can I, can I help you with something? Woman : Well, I don't know. Are you a masseur? Ross Geller : Yes I am. Woman : Great! Dad! Thank you so much, I'll be back to pick him up in an hour. Judy Geller : So Chandler, you're parents must've been thrilled when you told them you were engaged. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, I should probably call them. Jack Geller : I remember when we first got engaged. Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't think I ever heard that story. Monica Geller : Oh dad, really you don't need to... Jack Geller : Well, I'd gotten Judy pregnant. I still don't know that happened. Judy Geller : You don't know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy! Chandler Bing : What a sweet story. Monica Geller : Well, at least you're not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party. Jack Geller : What?! They wanted a scary story! Monica Geller : Anyway, we're really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon we'll be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. What? Judy Geller : You tell her Jack, I can't do it. Monica Geller : What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund don't you? Jack Geller : We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house. Monica Geller : I don't believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house! Judy Geller : We're sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 you'd pay for it yourself. Monica Geller : You bought the beach house when I was 23! Jack Geller : Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you can't put a price on that sweetie. Judy Geller : We really do feel bad about this though. Jack Geller : We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen. Monica Geller : What about when I started dating Chandler? Judy Geller : Well it was Chandler! We didn't think he'd ever propose! Chandler Bing : Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. Monica Geller : I can't believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?! Judy Geller : We might still have some money, if your father didn't think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet. Jack Geller : It seemed like such a simple idea. Judy Geller : Stupid Jack, the word is stupid. Jack Geller : All right, enough! I don't want to hear about it anymore! Good luck, Chandler. Ross Geller : Okay! Now, I'm going to touch you. Ohh, that's soft. Monica Geller : I can't believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it? Chandler Bing : I don't know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. She's saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to Dollywood. Rachel Green : Well what happened at dinner? Monica Geller : My parents spent the money for our wedding! Phoebe Buffay : My God! What did you order?! Rachel Green : Wait, but there's no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center! Chandler Bing : Honey, it's gonna be okay. Monica Geller : No! No it's not! It's not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies! Rachel Green : No, y'know what? It's gonna be okay. I mean you don't have to have this rustic Italian feast. Y'know? And-and you don't need, you don't need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. Chandler Bing : Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that we're gonna get married. Rachel Green : Do you even understand what off the rack means?! Phoebe Buffay : Look, why don't you just pay for it yourself? Monica Geller : How? I don't have any money. Chandler Bing : Well, I have some. Monica Geller : How much? Chandler Bing : Well, close to... Monica Geller : Whoa!!! Are you kidding me?! Rachel Green : Well what?! How-how much is it?! Monica Geller : It's enough for wedding scenario eight. Rachel Green : Ohh! Really?! Monica Geller : How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding! Rachel Green : Ohh, you guys are so made for each other. Chandler Bing : Well, you're not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding? Monica Geller : Ah, yeah! Chandler Bing : Well, come on, I've been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Hello, Mr. Chandler. Monica Geller : This is the most special day of our lives. Chandler Bing : No, I realize that honey, but I'm not gonna spend all of the money on one party. Monica Geller : Honey, umm I-I love you, but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, we're only gonna get married once. Chandler Bing : Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no. Monica Geller : You-you're gonna have to put your foot down? Chandler Bing : Yes, I am! Phoebe Buffay : Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, do you smell smoke? Rachel Green : Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no, I'm serious. You don't smell it? Something's on fire. Rachel Green : Well no, I don't smell anything. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know what? It's probably just your burnin' loins. Ross Geller : Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about? Rachel Green : Nothing! Ross Geller : Damn, this coffee's cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? Rachel Green : Y'know, I can not believe you told him, Joey! Ross Geller : So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh? Rachel Green : Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! 'Sup? Phoebe Buffay : Ross! How could you do that to an old man?! Ross Geller : Excuse me ladies. I'm sorry? Phoebe Buffay : My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon. Ross Geller : I gave him an extremely professional massage! Phoebe Buffay : He said you poked at him with wooden spoons. Ross Geller : Okay, so it wasn't uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop. Phoebe Buffay : Well, he's never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week! Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what? This is your fault! You're the one that didn't move his-his appointment. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's my fault?! You didn't have to massage him! You could've sent him away! You could've not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back! Ross Geller : He said he liked that!! Oh you're right, you're right. I'm sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, what are you massaging an old man for? Ross Geller : His daughter was hot. Joey Tribbiani : Gotcha. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that. Chandler Bing : Ehh. Monica Geller : Eh, you work for that. Chandler Bing : Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding. Monica Geller : You do?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then that's what we're gonna do. Monica Geller : Oh, you're so sweet. Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff? Chandler Bing : Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college. Monica Geller : You thought about that? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : How many kids were we gonna have? Chandler Bing : Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy. Monica Geller : What else did you think about? Chandler Bing : Well, stuff like where'd we live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on it's collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old. Monica Geller : Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding. Chandler Bing : Sure you do. Monica Geller : No, I want everything you just said. I want a marriage. Chandler Bing : You sure? Monica Geller : Uh-hmm. Chandler Bing : I love you so much. Monica Geller : I love you. Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin' about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, totally! Monica Geller : Oh good. Joey Tribbiani : Hello, Zelda. Rachel Green : Who are you supposed to be? Joey Tribbiani : The vicar! Rachel Green : Do you even know what a vicar is? Joey Tribbiani : Like a goalie, right? Rachel Green : Yeah. Look Joey, it's enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and it's-I'm not-it's just not funny anymore! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I'm sorry. Rach I-Rach I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. Rachel Green : All right! Y'know what? That's it! You wanna do it?! Let's do it! Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Rachel Green : That's right, I wanna do it with you! I've been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things. Joey Tribbiani : I-I-I-I did? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ohh, I've been waitin' so long to get on that body! Joey Tribbiani : This body? Rachel Green : Yeah that's right! Come on Joey; sex me up! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, you're startin' to sound like the butcher's wife there in-in chapter seven. Rachel Green : Oh, come on now, don't keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because you're in for a rough ride! Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to, I'm scared. Chandler Bing : Hey, you guys! Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : So, what do you think? Ross Geller : About what? Rachel Green : Yeah, what? Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Are you kidding? Okay, I'll give you a hint; I'll give you a hint. Joey Tribbiani : Eyes! No, no. Your eyes! No. Chandler's eyes! Chandler Bing : I got glasses! Ross Geller : Well, you-you've always had glasses. Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Ross Geller : Are you sure? Rachel Green : Yeah-yeah, did-didn't you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm... Joey Tribbiani : Feminine. Rachel Green : Yes! Chandler Bing : No! Monica Geller : Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : You didn't think I used to wear glasses, right? Monica Geller : Of course! Phoebe Buffay : So what do you guys want for an engagement present? Chandler Bing : That's okay Pheebs, we're not having a party or anything, so you don't have to get us... Monica Geller : If someone wants to give us a present, we don't want to deprive them of that joy. Rachel Green : Oh, y'know what you should get 'em? One of those little uh, portable CD players. Monica Geller : Oh, I already have one. Phoebe Buffay : Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist. Rachel Green : Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey. Monica Geller : Hey, I know I what I want! Chandler Bing : What we want honey. Monica Geller : No, you don't want this. I want to have your grandmother's cookie recipe. Phoebe Buffay : You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe? Monica Geller : Uh-huh, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family? Chandler Bing : Dying people say the craziest things. Monica Geller : I wanted it for years! I was gonna make cookies for my children. Phoebe Buffay : Break my heart-Oh, all right. Monica Geller : Okay. I'm gonna be the mom that makes the world's best chocolate chip cookies. Chandler Bing : Our kids are gonna be fat aren't they. Joey Tribbiani : Ahoy! Chandler Bing : Hey! How's the boat?! Joey Tribbiani : Great! I'm finally getting into this sailing stuff. Monica Geller : Oh, so you finally took it out of the marina huh? Joey Tribbiani : Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there! Phoebe Buffay : If you don't sail your boat, what do you do on it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's great! It's a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. Chandler Bing : Well, it's good that you finally have a place to do that. Rachel Green : Y'know Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want. Joey Tribbiani : You could? Rachel Green : Yeah! I've been sailing my whole life. When I was fifteen my dad bought me my own boat. Phoebe Buffay : Your own boat? Rachel Green : What?! What?! He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick. Chandler Bing : Do you know what I was thinkin'? Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing, I just like to go like this. Ross Geller : Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight? Chandler Bing : Uh why, do you have a lecture? Ross Geller : No, why? Chandler Bing : Then free as a bird. What's up? Ross Geller : My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us. Monica Geller : Wow! That's great! Dad must really like you, he doesn't ask just anyone to play. Ross Geller : Yeah and he didn't really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you. Chandler Bing : Well, did-did you correct him? Ross Geller : No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way. Monica Geller : This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week. Ross Geller : Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too. Monica Geller : Oh, just so you know, you-you have to let him win. Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : He hates to lose. Chandler Bing : Oh no problem, maybe I'll play with my left hand. Ross Geller : You're not a lefty? Chandler Bing : Does anybody know me?! Monica Geller : What's wrong Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up! Monica Geller : No!! Why didn't you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!! Phoebe Buffay : Because I'm normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present. Ross Geller : Oh, we have to get you an engagement present? Chandler Bing : Don't worry about it Pheebs. Ross Geller : No one got me an engagement present. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. Chandler Bing : An old cookie? Monica Geller : This is what happens when you don't register for gifts! Phoebe Buffay : See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left. Chandler Bing : We can't accept this. Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Chandler Bing : 'Cause it's gross. Monica Geller : No! Wait! I think I can figure out the recipe from this cookie! I do stuff like this at work all the time. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Monica Geller : Yeah! I bet I can do it. Chandler Bing : Okay, we owe you a present. Ross Geller : Two! I've been engaged twice! Joey Tribbiani : Look at this clown! Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way jackass! Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway? Rachel Green : That is the Coast Guard. Joey Tribbiani : What are they doing out here? The coast's all the way over there. Rachel Green : Joey, just ignore the boats all right? We're not finished with the lesson yet. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Rachel Green : Okay, I'm just gonna go over the basic points just one more time, are you ready? Joey Tribbiani : Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Let's start sailing, and I want to go over there where that boatload of girls is! Yo-ho-ho! Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, let's do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, what's this called? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, boat rope. Rachel Green : Wrong! How do you get the mainsail up? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, rub it? Rachel Green : No. What do you do if I say we are coming about? Joey Tribbiani : I'd say, come again. No-no, wait I-I-I know this one, I know this one, uh... Rachel Green : Time's up, now your dead. Joey Tribbiani : And deaf! Rachel Green : Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Rachel Green : Don't just say yes! This isn't a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?! Joey Tribbiani : I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler. Monica Geller : All right, I definitely taste nutmeg. Phoebe Buffay : You do? Monica Geller : You don't? Well, that's the difference between a professional and a layman. Phoebe Buffay : That and arrogance. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey! How was sailing? Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to talk about it. Y'know, you could've at least saved me a whole cookie. Monica Geller : No-wait-no-no!!!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Women are mean!!! Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmother's legacy is this crumb. I wish you a long and happy marriage. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey! How was it? Ross Geller : Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand... Chandler Bing : I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad. Ross Geller : And what did he ask you not to call him? Chandler Bing : Daddy. All right look, here's the story. Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. So I take off my glasses and that's when in happened. Chandler Bing : Guys? Ross Geller : Over here. Jack Geller : Have a seat son. Hey!! Monica Geller : Oh my God Chandler! I can't believe it! Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : You gave my father a lap dance! Chandler Bing : Why do they put so much steam in there?! Ross Geller : 'Cause otherwise they'd have to call it the room room. Chandler Bing : Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen? Phoebe Buffay : Come on, it's not that big a deal! Chandler Bing : Not that big a deal? There...there was touching of things. Ross Geller : Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part? Monica Geller : Listen, I'm sure that dad doesn't care. He probably thought this was funny; he'll be telling this story for years! Chandler Bing : I don't want him to tell this story for years. Ross Geller : Oh, but he will. He still tells the story how Monica tried to escape from fat camp. Monica Geller : I wasn't escaping. Ross Geller : Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire? Monica Geller : I was trying to help out a squirrel. Ross Geller : You were trying to eat it! Chandler Bing : If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off! Monica Geller : Come on. Hello? I'm sorry you have the wrong number. Okay, I'll call you later dad. I love you. Chandler Bing : All right, I'm off to see your dad. Ross Geller : Whoa-whoa, aren't you a little over dressed? Rachel Green : Yeah, and-and you better make sure he tips you this time. Chandler Bing : Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to face-And by face I don't mean his lap. And by face, I don't mean my ass. Ross Geller : Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present? Rachel Green : I don't know. Y'know, they didn't get us anything. Ross Geller : Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Well hello! So, when are we gettin' back out on the water matey? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, I don't know the boat way to say this, but uh never! Rachel Green : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : Because! You're mean on the boat! Rachel Green : What? I was just trying to teach you. Joey Tribbiani : Well, lesson learned! Rachel is mean! Ross Geller : Yeeeeeep... Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dad's boat she wouldn't let me help at all. Rachel Green : Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldn't move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets. Ross Geller : You have to respect the sea! Rachel Green : Look Joey, I'm sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher. Joey Tribbiani : Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer pinhead!?" Rachel Green : Well, does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson? Joey Tribbiani : Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember? Rachel Green : Yeah, I didn't want you to get hit by the boom! Joey Tribbiani : Well it hit me anyway! And it would've hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer. Rachel Green : All right, y'know what? I-I'm sorry. I will try to tone it down and uh stop yelling. Joey Tribbiani : You won't boss me around anymore? Rachel Green : I won't boss you around. Joey Tribbiani : And you'll be nice? Rachel Green : And, I'll be nice. Joey Tribbiani : And you'll be topless? Rachel Green : And-Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Do you want me to learn?! Monica Geller : Okay, here's batch 22. Ohh, maybe these'll taste a little like your grandmother's. This has a little bit of orange peel, but no nutmeg. Ross Geller : Let's give it a shot. Monica Geller : Okay. Man, I have not made this many cookies since I was in the ninth grade. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale? Monica Geller : No, just a Friday night. Ross Geller : Ohh, these are pretty good. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but not as good as batch 17. Ross Geller : Which one was that? Monica Geller : The ones we had right after you almost threw up. Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Batch 17 was good. I did not like batch 16. I'm okay. Phoebe Buffay : Are there anymore from the good batch? 'Cause we could just work off of those. Ross Geller : Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh... It's batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! Rachel Green : Okay Joey honey, you're doing really good! All right, now I'm just gonna need you to step to the port side. Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side? Joey Tribbiani : Ohh yeah. Rachel Green : Right? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Rachel Green : It's left sweetie, but that's okay sweetie, that's a tough one. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know why you just don't say left. Rachel Green : Okay, go to the left. The left! Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Rachel Green : Just sit over there!! Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Okay, you're yelling again! See that? Rachel Green : No! No-no, no-no-no, very quiet, said with love, no yelling. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know what? Since I'm here, I think I'm gonna have me a little beer on the port side. Rachel Green : Okay Joey, we're luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didn't know there. Rachel Green : Joey, come on! We just went over this! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know, when we did that was when that bird was flying overhead with the fish in his mouth. Did you see it? It was gross! Rachel Green : No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do! Joey Tribbiani : All right that's it! You're yelling and I don't see you taking your top off! I quit! Rachel Green : What do you mean you quit?! You can't quit! Joey Tribbiani : Why not?! Rachel Green : Because you're not finished yet and I won't have it! Greens do not quit! Joey Tribbiani : Greens? I'm a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit! Rachel Green : Oh my God, wait did I-I just said Greens don't quit didn't I? Did I just say Greens don't quit?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes! You did and you're still yelling at me! Rachel Green : No! No! No! I'm not yelling at you, I'm just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh I'm my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! I've been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin'. Oh, Joey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to learn. Joey Tribbiani : Well, hey I did learn. Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Come on. Rachel Green : Awww... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's okay. I know what a mainsail is. I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right. Rachel Green : Left. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that we're trying to figure out her recipe. I bet she's l-l-lookin' up at us and smiling right now. Ross Geller : Looking up? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah-No, she was really nice to me, but she's in hell for sure. Monica Geller : Well, I've tried everything. I give up. I guess I'm not gonna be the mom who makes the world's best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right. Ross Geller : Aww, Pheeb, come on isn't there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And that's not happening 'til October 15th, 2032. Ross Geller : That's the day you're gonna die? See-darnit, I've got shuffleboard that day. Phoebe Buffay : That's what you think. Monica Geller : Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmother's? Wouldn't they have the recipe? Phoebe Buffay : Well, y'know I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse. Monica Geller : What was her name? Phoebe Buffay : Nesele Toulouse. Monica Geller : Nestle Tollhouse?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language. Monica Geller : Phoebe, is this the recipe? Phoebe Buffay : Yes!! Ohh. Monica Geller : I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time! Phoebe Buffay : I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why you're burning in hell!! Chandler Bing : So you understand, I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you didn't tell people what happened. Y'know, I'm a little...I'm a little embarrassed about it. Jack Geller : I understand completely, there's nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer. Chandler Bing : What did you do when they found out? Jack Geller : They never did, so if ever see me giving them legal advice just nod along. Shall we? Chandler Bing : So I guess we wear swimsuits in here! Rachel Green : Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. Hey, why don't you give a pull on that rope? Rachel Green : Ohh we're not sailing. Joey Tribbiani : Just pull on it. Rachel Green : All right. Hey-hey-hey!! Sandwiches! Joey Tribbiani : What else? Rachel Green : Here you go. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Rachel Green : Oh wow! Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Rachel Green : Ohh, sorry. Joey Tribbiani : What you-don't hold it like that! You're lettin' all the good stuff fall out. Rachel Green : Ohh whoops. Joey Tribbiani : Careful! You're wasting good pastrami! Oh my God! I'm my dad! Mac : Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives don't mix. C.H.E.E.S.E. : You can say that again Mac. Mac : Well, I couldn't have done it without you buddy. You're a genius. C.H.E.E.S.E. : Oh yeah? Well then how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00? Joey Tribbiani : So, what did you guys think? Monica Geller : Hello? Hold on please. Joey, it's your mom. Chandler Bing : It's your mommy. It's your mommy. Ross Geller : Ohhhh... Rachel Green : That's nice. Joey Tribbiani : Mom, so what did you think? Rachel Green : Well that was umm...Okay. Ross Geller : It wasn't the best. Chandler Bing : That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV. Monica Geller : Wh-what are we gonna tell him? Ross Geller : Well, the lighting was okay. Rachel Green : Ohh no you don't! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine! Monica Geller : And I have costumes. Ross Geller : Oh great! That means I'm stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there and you were sittin' right here! Whoa!" Rachel Green : What are you gonna do Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I don't know. I can't lie to him again. Oh no I-no! I'm just gonna press my breasts up against him. Chandler Bing : And say nothing? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah that's right. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? It wasn't that good. Monica Geller : Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you? Phoebe Buffay : What? You mean behind my back? Rachel Green : Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! You'll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and... Joey Tribbiani : You guys! You guys! You're not gonna believe what my agent just told me! Rachel Green : Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go. Rachel Green : Okay, so anyway I'm sittin' in my office and guess who walks in. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna be on two TV shows! Monica Geller : Oh, that's great!! Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you weren't finished? Rachel Green : Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. It was Ralph Lauren! Ralph Lauren walked into my office! Joey Tribbiani : Uh Rach, if you're gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine. Rachel Green : It's the same story. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, it's really long. Rachel Green : Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that he's so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail. Monica Geller : Still get a discount on wedding dresses? Rachel Green : Yeah! Monica Geller : I'm so happy for you! Joey Tribbiani : Well, these really are the days of our lives. Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God! Rachel Green : I got-I get a big pay raise! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! Joey Tribbiani : I'll be playing Drake Remoray's twin brother, Stryker! Monica Geller : Oooh! Rachel Green : I get to hire my own assistant! Monica Geller : Ahhh!! Joey Tribbiani : Well-I got a head rush from standing up to fast right there. Rachel Green : And you were at this job for four years? Hilda : That's right. Rachel Green : Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay? Hilda : What? Rachel Green : I've never interviewed anyone before. I've actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isn't the same thing. Hilda : No dear. It's not. Rachel Green : No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you. Hilda : Thank you! Good meeting you. Rachel Green : All right. I'm a total pro! Man : Hello? Rachel Green : Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh I'm sorry the models are actually down the hall. Man : Actually, I'm here about the assistant job. Rachel Green : Really?! Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so what's-what is-what's your name? Man : Tag Jones. Rachel Green : Uh-huh, go on. Tag Jones : That's it. That's my whole name. Rachel Green : That's your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well let's-let's just have a look-see here. Tag Jones : I know I haven't worked in an office before, and I really don't have a lot of experience, but uh... Rachel Green : Oh come on, what are you talking about? You've got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Friday's, come on! Tag Jones : It's lame, I know. But I'm a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn... Rachel Green : Okay, hold on just a second. I'm sorry, it's for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please? Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no. Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye. Monica Geller : Hey sweetie. Chandler Bing : Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering? Monica Geller : I can't tell you. It's a secret. Chandler Bing : Secret? Married people aren't supposed to have secrets between one another. We have too much love and respect for one another. Monica Geller : Awww. But still no. Chandler Bing : No I'm serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you. Monica Geller : Really? Okay, so why don't you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no, I can't do that. Monica Geller : If you tell me, I'll tell you what Phoebe said. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, we're on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy. Monica Geller : Oh my God. He threw up? Chandler Bing : No, he visited a little town south of throw up. So what was Phoebe's secret? Monica Geller : Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebe's old massage place is getting fired. Chandler Bing : That's it?! I gave up my Disneyland story for that? Monica Geller : That's right! You lose sucker!! Please still marry me. Rachel Green : Chandler, you have an assistant right? Chandler Bing : Did she call? You-you told her I was sick right? Always tell her I am sick! Rachel Green : No, I-I just don't know how you decide who to hire. I mean I've got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then there's this guy... Chandler Bing : What about him? Rachel Green : I love him. He's so pretty I wanna cry! I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do. Phoebe Buffay : Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You don't hire an assistant because they're cute, you hire them because they're qualified. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. No, I hear what you're saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? Look how pretty! Phoebe Buffay : Let's see. Oh my God! Oh... But no! No! You can't-you can't hire him, because that-it's not professional. Umm, this is for me yes? Thanks. Rachel Green : Okay you're right. I'll hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb old perfect for the job Hilda! Chandler Bing : Let me see this guy. W-H-Wow! Don't show this to Monica! And don't tell her about the W-H-Wow! Terry : Hey-hey-hey Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Terry! Terry : Good to see you again! Joey Tribbiani : It's been a while, huh? Wow, it's funny these halls look smaller then they used to. Terry : It's a different building. Joey Tribbiani : So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start? Terry : Why don't we start right now! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Terry : Here are the audition scenes. Joey Tribbiani : Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part. Terry : Why would you think that? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Stryker's twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right? Terry : Everybody has to audition. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know Terry, I-I don't really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, with a robot. Terry : I'm sorry Joey that's...that's the way it is. Joey Tribbiani : Well. I guess you think you're pretty special huh? Sittin' up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin' stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well y'know what? This is one star who's hoop... This is a star that the hoop-this hoop-I was Dr. Drake Remoray! Rachel Green : Hi! Tag. What are you doing here? Tag Jones : I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there aren't any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first... There is a plant in your office. Rachel Green : Kinda. Tag Jones : Right. So I guess I shouldn't put good at noticing stuff on my resume. Rachel Green : Oh-ohh, thank you. Tag Jones : Anyway, I'm guessing you hired somebody. Rachel Green : Well... Tag Jones : Gotcha. Thanks again for meeting with me. Rachel Green : But I hired you! Tag Jones : What? Rachel Green : Yeah! You-you got the job! You're my new assistant! Tag Jones : I am?! Rachel Green : Yeah! Tag Jones : I can't believe it! Rachel Green : Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey! Good, you're home! Chandler Bing : Oh it's always nicer to here than, "Aw crap! You again!" Monica Geller : Hey baby. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : I made you a surprise. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story I've had such a craving for them. Chandler Bing : Did you not understand the story? Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! What's up? Monica Geller : Ross! Ross Geller : Oh, nothin' much. Just trying to figure out what I'm gonna do for dinner. Chandler Bing : Huh. Ross Geller : Hey-Ooh! What's-what's that, dinner stuff? You making dinner? Chandler Bing : No! Shhh! Ross Geller : What you got over there? Tacos? Monica Geller : No! No. They're umm... They're just uh...ground beef smileys. Ross Geller : Uhh, those are tacos. Monica Geller : Excuse me Mr. Mexico. Ross Geller : Eh, either way I'll pass. I still can't eat those. What's so funny?! Monica Geller : I'm not laughing. Ross Geller : You told her! Chandler Bing : Nancy Thompson's getting fired! Ross Geller : Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! It's not like I choose to do it! It's not like-It's not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!" Monica Geller : You're right. I mean I'm sorry. Yeah, I shouldn't be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! Ross Geller : How could you tell her?! Chandler Bing : I had too okay?! We're getting married! Married couples can't keep secrets from one another! Ross Geller : Oh really? Well I-I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City. Chandler Bing : Du-ude! Monica Geller : What happened in Atlantic City?! Ross Geller : Well, Chandler and I are in a bar... Chandler Bing : Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude?!" Ross Geller : And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking, Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and you're right, Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with...girls. Monica Geller : You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God. Chandler Bing : In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy. Ross Geller : Oh Mon, I laughed so hard... Chandler Bing : Ho-ho, so hard we had to throw out your underwear again? Ross Geller : Whatever dude, you kissed a guy. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey-Ooh, how's Hilda? Is she working out? Rachel Green : Ohh, my new assistant is working out, yes. Joey Tribbiani : Was she happy you gave her the job? Rachel Green : Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? It's the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next week's script. Canceled?! Like they're taking it off the air? Ohh. All right, see you Monday. We're not even shootin' them anymore?!! All right, bye! They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E! Phoebe Buffay : Sorry. Rachel Green : I'm sorry Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?! Chandler Bing : You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers! Ross Geller : All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won! Chandler Bing : Ross came in forth and cried! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too! Monica Geller : I-I already told him everything! You shush!! Ross Geller : Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box she'd made. Monica Geller : Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls! Ross Geller : Monica couldn't tell time 'til she was 13! Monica Geller : It's hard for some people! Chandler Bing : Of course it is. Wow-whoa! Monica Geller : Chandler one time wore my underwear to work! Chandler Bing : Hey!!! Monica Geller : Ohh, I'm sorry I couldn't think of anymore for Ross! Ross Geller : Ohh! Ohh! In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm! Chandler Bing : That was you! Ross Geller : Whatever dude, you kissed a guy. Joey Tribbiani : How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin'! Rachel Green : Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well they might be a little mad at me over there. Phoebe Buffay : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go. Rachel Green : Joey, why would you do that? Joey Tribbiani : Because they wanted me to audition! Phoebe Buffay : You! An actor?! That's madness! Tag Jones : Rachel Green's office. Rachel Green : Tag? Hi, who was that? Tag Jones : Nobody. I was just practicing. Rachel Green : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Tag Jones : Hi! Rachel Green's office. Phoebe Buffay : You must be Hilda. Rachel Green : Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? Tag Jones : Phoebe! That's a great name. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number. Rachel Green : Okay. We'll be right back. Phoebe Buffay : So you hired yourself a little treat did ya? Rachel Green : All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but I'm telling you... Phoebe Buffay : But-but you know you cannot get involved with your assistant. Rachel Green : Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that I've ever done. But I'm telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. Yes? Kathy : Hey Rachel! Rachel Green : Hi! Kathy : Cute assistant! What's his story? Is he... Rachel Green : Gay? Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Terry. Terry : Joey Tribbiani! I'm surprised your big head could fit through our small halls! I gotta go Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Wait! Terry! Wait-Look-Wait I-I... Look, I'm really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking I'm too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance. Terry : I can't help you Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake. Nurse #1 : This poor guy's been in a coma for five years. It's hopeless. Nurse #2 : It's not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remoray's a miracle worker. Look, here he comes. Dr. Stryker Remoray : Good morning. Drake, it's your brother Stryker. Can you hear me? The Director : And cut! Joey Tribbiani : I'm back baby! Ha-ha-ha! Monica Geller : Y'know, in my defense, umm there was no glitter on the macaroni and very little glue. Ross Geller : And in my defense, the cleaning lady came on to me! Chandler Bing : You have no trouble telling time now right? Monica Geller : No! Chandler Bing : Quick! What time is it?! Monica Geller : I don't know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! What are you laughing at Pampers? Chandler Bing : Y'know when I said that because we're getting married that we should share everything and not have any secrets? Monica Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Yeah that was stupid. Let's not do that. Monica Geller : Ohh, absolutely. Ross Geller : And! We should keep all the stuff uh, we told each other secret from everybody else. Monica Geller : Yeah, definitely! Ross Geller : Okay, if you'll excuse me, I-I'm gonna go hang out with some people who don't know the Space Mountain story. Monica Geller : Then, I'd steer clear of Phoebe. Ross Geller : Man! Chandler Bing : Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldn't hang out with...all the guys in my office. Rachel Green : Hi! Tag Jones : Do you have a minute? Rachel Green : Well yeah, sure, what's up? Tag Jones : I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch...by guys. Rachel Green : Oh really?! Tag Jones : Yeah. Did you tell someone that I was gay? Rachel Green : Oh, did you not want people to know that? Tag Jones : But I'm not gay. And I especially wouldn't want you to think I was gay. Rachel Green : Why's that? Tag Jones : I don't think I should say. Rachel Green : Ohh, you can say. Come on, I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things. Tag Jones : Okay. Rachel Green : 'Kay. Tag Jones : Well... Rachel Green : Yeah. Tag Jones : I'd love to ask out your friend Phoebe. Rachel Green : Yeah, she's gay. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : What's the matter? Chandler Bing : Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh Willie's still alive! Chandler Bing : What are you guys doing? Monica Geller : Oh, my mom called, they're gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so we're looking for a good picture of us. Chandler Bing : Oooh, I'm afraid that does not exist. Monica Geller : That's not true, there are great pictures of us! Chandler Bing : No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy who's going like this... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! That's the creep that you're with at the Statue of Liberty. Chandler Bing : I don't know what it is, I just can't take a good picture. Monica Geller : Oh, here's a great one. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm not in that. Monica Geller : I know, but look at me all tan. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, why don't you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer. Monica Geller : That's a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Y'know... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's great! Next to that, Chandler won't look so stupid. Monica Geller : Chandler what do you say? Chandler Bing : All right, but I should warn you, I'm not going. I'm going. Ross Geller : Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh... Chandler Bing : How about those three pointers? Ross Geller : Amazing! Chandler Bing : And those guys were this close to lettin' us play this time too. Rachel Green : Hey look-look, Phoebe's talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy. Ross Geller : Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out! Rachel Green : Hey, I thought that guy was married. Phoebe Buffay : He is! But he's getting divorced-Ross! Maybe you know him. Ross Geller : It's not a club. Rachel Green : Phoebe, if this guy's going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him? Ross Geller : Hey, divorced men are not bad men! Chandler Bing : They have that on the napkins at the club. Rachel Green : Oh, I gotta get back to work. Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to be back for a half-hour! Rachel Green : Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker. Chandler Bing : Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean y'know you can't date him right? Rachel Green : Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife. Ross Geller : Soon he'll be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired. Rachel Green : I am not gonna get fired, because I'm not gonna act on it. Phoebe Buffay : So you wouldn't mind if he was dating someone else? Rachel Green : Why? Is he? He is! Isn't he? He's dating that slut in marketing! Ross Geller : Maybe I should open a divorced men's club. Chandler Bing : Dude that is so sad. Ross Geller : I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back. Chandler Bing : Could I play? Rachel Green : Oh, no sit-ups today Tag? Tag Jones : I just did them. Rachel Green : Oh, well drop and give me ten more! Tag Jones : What? Rachel Green : Uh, I-I had a drink with lunch. Did those cost reports come in? Tag Jones : Yeah, I filled them out last night? Rachel Green : Oh, great could you make me four copies of those? Melissa Warburton : Hey Rachel! Rachel Green : Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, what's up? I'm just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Y'know, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. What's up? Melissa Warburton : Umm, is Tag here? Rachel Green : No. Why? Melissa Warburton : Oh, I was gonna talk to him about doing something tonight. Rachel Green : Really?! Got a little crush on Tag there do ya? Melissa Warburton : Well, we've been flirting back and forth, but I was hoping that tonight it would turn into something a little more than that. Rachel Green : Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This ain't a locker room, okay? But, y'know I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight. Melissa Warburton : Oh no! Rachel Green : Oh yeah. All right, back to work. Melissa Warburton : Hey! Isn't that Tag's backpack. Rachel Green : Yeah Melissa, I don't want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor. The Photographer : Great! That's great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile? Chandler Bing : Okay. The Photographer : I'm sorry, is the seat uncomfortable? Chandler Bing : No, I am. Monica Geller : Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile. Chandler Bing : I do? Monica Geller : Yeah! All right, maybe you don't have to smile. Let's try something else. Let's try umm, try looking sexy. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Or not. Rachel Green : Hi Joey! What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, well I've got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. You got an extra one? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure. Umm...here. Joey Tribbiani : Great. You got anything that's not Ralph Lauren? Rachel Green : Yeah, I don't think so Joe. Joey Tribbiani : All right, I guess this will be fine. Rachel Green : Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing, why? Rachel Green : How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? I'll pay. Joey Tribbiani : Huh, Rach I got to say it's gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude. Rachel Green : I'm not asking you to go on a date with him! Joey Tribbiani : Really? 'Cause I could kinda use the money. Rachel Green : Joey, just-just he-he's new in town and I know he doesn't have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. I'll really appreciate it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, okay. Rachel Green : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, no problem. Ooh-Hey, donuts! Rachel Green : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : I know. Let's try a look...of far off...wonderment. Okay, we'll-we'll gaze into our future and we'll think about our marriage and the days to come. Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" Hey! Don't laugh at him! He's my drowning moron! Chandler Bing : Aww! Monica Geller : That's it! Take it! Take it! Take it! Ross Geller : I like this one. It seems to say, "I love you and that's why I have to kill you." Monica Geller : They can't all be bad. Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me? Monica Geller : Do you really want to pull at that thread? Phoebe Buffay : I'm having a really good time! The Cute Guy : Me too! I'm sorry that guy in the subway licked your neck. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. No that's okay, he's a friend. The Cute Guy : Hey uh, I don't mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I... Well y'know I-I mean I missed the-the semi-finals, so I'd just be lost. The Cute Guy : I know it's really lame, but I got these tickets from my boss and-Oh no! No! No! My God! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't freak out. I'll go. The Cute Guy : No it's... Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I know. Hold on. Hey Ross? Ross Geller : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, umm that's Whitney , Kyle's ex-wife out there, now do you think that you can y'know divert her so that we can slip out? Ross Geller : What?! No! Phoebe Buffay : Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals. Ross Geller : Look, I don't think so Pheebs. All right, I'll do it. But just because you're a friend. Phoebe Buffay : Hi Ginger. Ross Geller : All right! I want my key back! Phoebe Buffay : I don't have it! Ross Geller : It's right there! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, okay Sherlock! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyle's ex. Ross Geller : Oh yeah-No-You're welcome. We'll talk about it later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : Hi Whitney. Whitney : Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast? Ross Geller : Yep. Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Kyle's ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her! Ross Geller : Hi! I'm sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night. Whitney : Sure. Ross Geller : Okay. I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Watching ballroom dancing? Ross Geller : Yes! That's where we realized we were both super cool people! Phoebe Buffay : Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her. Ross Geller : Like what? Phoebe Buffay : Like she's really mean, and she's over critical, and-and-No! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you! Ross Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : And! She uses sex as a weapon! Ross Geller : Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast I'll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons. Phoebe Buffay : You're still gonna go out with her?! Ross Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Well, didn't you just hear what I said?! Ross Geller : Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husband's gonna say that stuff. Now, if you'll excuse me... Phoebe Buffay : No listen to me! She is crazy! Whitney : Uh, your door isn't sound proof. Phoebe Buffay : You see? Nothing is good enough for her! Tag Jones : Good morning. Rachel Green : Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night? Tag Jones : Oh yeah! We went to the Knicks game. Rachel Green : Ohh that's nice. Tag Jones : Then we went to this bar and he hooked us up with all these women! Rachel Green : Wo-women? You mean like old women? Tag Jones : Well kinda old, like 30. Rachel Green : Oh. Tag Jones : And I never used to be able to just talk to girls in bars, but I got like 20 phone numbers last night. Rachel Green : That's great! Wow man, so Joey must've really taught you some stuff huh? Tag Jones : A little. Rachel Green : Yeah? Tag Jones : How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : See? That's a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. You're changing it! Chandler Bing : I can't help it! Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots? Chandler Bing : Borrow money from me? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, first-first of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down , look down, keep looking down; then I look up. See? All right, now you try. Look down , you're looking down, keep looking down... Chandler Bing : Why is there jelly on your shoe? Joey Tribbiani : I had a donut. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! That guy's all right! Rachel Green : Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Y'know, all the women. Joey Tribbiani : Hey well, you can't teach someone to be good with women. Y'know, that's why I never had any luck with Chandler. Chandler Bing : I'm right here! Rachel Green : All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, it's just-And I know he's my assistant and I can't date him-but it just bothers me, all right?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! No-no-no-no, you can't take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!! Chandler Bing : I'm still right here! Rachel Green : All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : I just don't want him to meet anybody until I am over my crush-And I will get over it. It's-it's not like I love him, it's just physical! But-I mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya! Joey Tribbiani : I know, Monica told me. Chandler Bing : Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me? Rachel Green : Yeah. Sure. Chandler Bing : Can you people not see me?! Rachel Green : So, will you talk to him? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know Rach. Rachel Green : Oh, come on! I'll give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts. Joey Tribbiani : One! No ten! You said ten! You can't take that back! Tag Jones : Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. You uh, you got something for me? Tag Jones : Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel. Joey Tribbiani : Ten. Okay. Now Tag there's such a thing as to many women. Tag Jones : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, for you! Monica Geller : Hey! There you are! Chandler Bing : There I am! Monica Geller : Are you okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine. Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!! Monica Geller : Chandler, what were you thinking? Chandler Bing : I don't know, but don't worry, don't worry, because I know how to take a picture now. Okay, see? Look down , look down, look down... Monica Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : So, how are things going with crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet? Ross Geller : Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okay-and F.Y.I she must've shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I don't give a tiny rat's ass." Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, maybe she should've spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom. Ross Geller : Well, I don't think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe that's just because I am not emotionally unavailable! Phoebe Buffay : You think he's emotionally unavailable? Ross Geller : I think he can be. Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe he wouldn't be she didn't bring the office home every night! Ross Geller : Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Year's Eve 1997. Ross Geller : I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!! Phoebe Buffay : We want the last six years back!! Ross Geller : So do we!! So do we!! I'm sorry you had to see that. Tag Jones : Good morning Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Thanks, hey so uh what'd you do last night? Tag Jones : Went out with Joey. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Another night of birdogging the chickas? Tag Jones : No. We had a really good talk. I don't think I'm gonna do that bar scene anymore. Rachel Green : Wow! I did not see that coming. Tag Jones : It's just not really who I am. Y'know, I've always been happier when...Why am I telling you this? You don't care about this stuff. Rachel Green : Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, y'know? Tag Jones : When I'm in a relationship, I love having a girlfriend. Rachel Green : Really? Tag Jones : Someone I can spoil, y'know? Rachel Green : Sp-spoil? Tag Jones : Uh-huh! Let me ask you something? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Tag Jones : Do you believe that there is one perfect person for everyone? Rachel Green : Well, I-I'm startin' too. Tag Jones : And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right? Rachel Green : Yes! Hell yes! Tag Jones : All right then, it's settled. Rachel Green : Okay. Tag Jones : I'm gettin' back together with my ex-girlfriend. Rachel Green : I'd love to! Tag Jones : What? Rachel Green : Hello?! Oh, yeah! This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. Yeah! Ross Geller : My God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. Is that annoying? And speaking about being selfish in bed, how's Whitney? Ross Geller : Well maybe she wouldn't have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was! Phoebe Buffay : Oh he knows! For the most part. Kyle : Oh hey! Good, you're both here. Whitney : We kinda need to talk. Phoebe Buffay : Both of you together? Ross Geller : Wh-what's up? Whitney : Well, I went over to Kyle's last night to pick up a few things and we got to reminiscing... Kyle : ...we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So... Ross Geller : Oh just say it Kyle! Kyle : We're gonna give it another try. Phoebe Buffay : What about her whining and her constant need for attention?! Whitney : I'm gonna work on that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, because you're so capable of change. Ross Geller : Y'know, he hums when he pees! Whitney : I do know. Ross Geller : It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever. Whitney : We're so sorry. Ross Geller : That's all right, we-we don't need you. In fact, hey I'm over it already. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and y'know what? I don't give a tiny rat's ass. Kyle : Yeah, we're gonna go. Ross Geller : I'm sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Y'know, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Y'know, he hums while he does other stuff to. Ross Geller : Yeah, were better off without them. Phoebe Buffay : And y'know, even if they break up again, you'd better not let him in your sad men's club! Ross Geller : Divorced men's club. Phoebe Buffay : Potato, Potaato. Monica Geller : Hey guys check it out! My mom sent me the paper! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, let's see it! Chandler Bing : Ahhh. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that looks good. Phoebe Buffay : You guys make a very attractive couple. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, we look great together. Monica Geller : Yeah, we really do! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Wow! Imagine what our kids would look like! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, we don't have to imagine. Chandler Bing : I'm marrying her. Joey Tribbiani : We'll just see. Monica Geller : Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor. Rachel Green : Oh my God! This is it! I really hope it's you! Phoebe Buffay : I hope it's you. Rachel Green : Me too! Monica Geller : First of all um, I love you both so much and you're both so important to me... Rachel Green : Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla!! Who is it?! Monica Geller : Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine... Phoebe Buffay : Yes!!! Oh!! Rachel Green : Hypothetically! Phoebe Buffay : Still. Monica Geller : If Phoebe were my maid of honor... Rachel Green : Uh-hmm. Monica Geller : Rachel would be Phoebe's, I would be Rachel's, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset. Rachel Green : Yeah that's actually a pretty good idea. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'll do that. So who gets to be yours? Monica Geller : Well that's the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide! Phoebe Buffay : Wh-why is that the best part? Monica Geller : Because then I don't have to! Rachel Green : Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing , my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that... Monica Geller : I'm really not deciding! Rachel Green : Fine! Woman : Excuse me, I-I couldn't help overhearing, you're marrying Chandler Bing? Monica Geller : Yeah that's right. Woman : Huh, good luck! Phoebe Buffay : Aww, and good luck to you too! What a nice lady! Chandler Bing : Die Hard still great! Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature? Chandler Bing : What'd you rent? Joey Tribbiani : Die Hard 2. Chandler Bing : Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2! Ross Geller : Joey, we just saw it! Joey Tribbiani : And? Ross Geller : And it'll be cool to see it again! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Die Hard!!!!!! Ross Geller : Dude, you didn't say Die Hard. Is everything okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I just got uh, got plans. Ross Geller : Well, John McLane had plans! Chandler Bing : No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch. Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about? Bitch. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor? Rachel Green : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Rachel Green : Oh my God Phoebe! I mean I'm just-Wait a minute. If I'm your maid of honor that means you are Monica's. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Well, if that's what you want... Rachel Green : Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monica's! Phoebe Buffay : But why does it even matter?! Rachel Green : Why does it matter so much to you?! Phoebe Buffay : Because this one is now! And-and it's two of our best friends! Who knows what you're gonna marry! Rachel Green : What-what if I marry Ross-Or Joey? Phoebe Buffay : You wouldn't! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-I've never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know you've done it at least twice! Rachel Green : Yeah but Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. Oh I guess that was it. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. It's-since you've never done it before you can be Monica's made of honor. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you so much! Okay. Rachel Green : I'm gonna marry someone good y'know. Phoebe Buffay : Oh I know. Rachel Green : Better than Chandler. Ross Geller : What happened?!! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I don't know!! Ross Geller : We fell asleep! That is all. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, I'd better go. Ross Geller : I think that would be best. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. All right, I'll talk to you later. Ross Geller : Okay. But not about this! Joey Tribbiani : No! Never! Never! Bye. Ross Geller : No touch! No touch! Monica Geller : Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she...she wished me good luck. Chandler Bing : That's sweet. Monica Geller : No, it's more like a good luck. Chandler Bing : So uh, what did this woman look like? Monica Geller : She was like 30, dark hair, attractive. Chandler Bing : Well, is there any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror? Monica Geller : Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college? Chandler Bing : No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive... Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album. Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Well, let's see... Okay uh, is that her? Monica Geller : Oh my God yes! Who is she? Chandler Bing : Julie Grath, my camp girlfriend. Monica Geller : Did you break up with her? Chandler Bing : No, we're still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her. Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : Well, 'cause she came back the third summer and she'd gotten really fa-aa-aw-ow... Monica Geller : Fat?! Chandler Bing : I did not say fat! I said, "Fa-aa-aw-ow..." Monica Geller : You broke up with a girl because she was fat?! Chandler Bing : Yeah. Yeah, but it was a really, really long time ago! Does she still feel bad? Monica Geller : Well, apparently she does. Chandler Bing : Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. Seriously, good luck marrying me. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! What's going on? Rachel Green : Phoebe is gonna be Monica's maid of honor! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? Rachel Green : You have been maid of honor before?!! Phoebe Buffay : See? This is exactly why you shouldn't lie! Rachel Green : All right that's it! I am maid of honor! Phoebe Buffay : Na-uh, I am! Rachel Green : How come you are?! Phoebe Buffay : Because I cared enough to lie! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how you'd handle maid of honor type situations. Phoebe Buffay : What are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if I'm the best of the people they see, they give me the part. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, me and Ross can be the judges. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's better than us deciding. Rachel Green : Oh, come on! This is crazy! Can't we just flip a coin?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Coins hate me! Rachel Green : Okay. Okay fine, y'know what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie. Phoebe Buffay : Hey there, you handsome thing. Ross Geller : Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Georgio. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Ross Geller : Just uh, brought back your videos. Joey Tribbiani : Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before. Ross Geller : No! No we don't! Joey Tribbiani : Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!! Ross Geller : I... I don't know what you are talking about. Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had! Ross Geller : I've had better. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! When?! Ross Geller : All right! All right! It was the best nap ever! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh! Ross Geller : I've said it! Okay?! But it's over Joey! Joey Tribbiani : I want to do it again. Ross Geller : We can't do it again. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Ross Geller : Because it's weird! Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Do you want something to drink? Ross Geller : Sure, what do you got? Joey Tribbiani : Warm milk and Excedrin P.M. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler! I just figured out who you are! Chandler Bing : Can you figure out what I'm doing? Monica Geller : You're Lewis Posin. Chandler Bing : Who? Monica Geller : Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why? Chandler Bing : Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?! Monica Geller : No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa.... And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Y'know, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie. Chandler Bing : What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago. Monica Geller : No, I know. But y'know what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me. Chandler Bing : Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, all right, this is how it's going to work. We're gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest. Ross Geller : No, 10 is the highest. Joey Tribbiani : Why is 10 the highest? Ross Geller : Because It's The Highest. Situation No.1 You're with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to marry Chandler! Rachel Green : Okay, uh... Joey Tribbiani : I've got cold feet. Rachel Green : ...it's gonna be okay! Joey Tribbiani : No, one man for the rest of my life? I don't know if I can do it! This means I'll never get to sleep with Joey! Rachel Green : Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Y'know, it's-it's just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You don't get to keep the gifts. Joey Tribbiani : Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that! Rachel Green : Thanks! Ross Geller : Yes, very nice Rachel. Rachel Green : Thank you judges. Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, what a kiss ass. Rachel Green : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Your honor? Joey Tribbiani : We're now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go! Ross Geller : When Monica was a little girl, I remember that--Ooh!! Ow! Very good! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Excellent! Perfect score! Rachel Green : Wait a minute! She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?! Ross Geller : It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech. Rachel Green : Ohh, wait a minute, we haven't pre... Ross Geller : Go! Rachel Green : Okay! Okay! Umm, Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as... Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh... I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! That's nice. Rachel Green : Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, I've known them separately and I've known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Good speech. Ross Geller : Yeah, it really was! Rachel Green : Aw, thanks! Ross Geller : Okay Phoebe, I guess you're next although I really don't see the point. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I can't believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. Joey Tribbiani : And she's back in the game. Chandler Bing : Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me. Julie Graff : Hello Skidmark. Chandler Bing : It's a nickname, I'll explain later. Monica Geller : It's pretty clear. Chandler Bing : Ah, uh, I owe you a long overdue apology. I never should have broken up with you because you were overweight. Julie Graff : That's why you broke up with me? Chandler Bing : You-you-you didn't know that. Well, I guess my work here is done! Joey Tribbiani : All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for Rachel-Damnit! Phoebe Buffay : Really?! I won! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : I'm sorry Rach, it was, it was really close. Rachel Green : Well then I demand a recount! Ross Geller : Actually, it wasn't that close. Rachel Green : No! Y'know what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculous-We're gonna flip a coin! All right?! Heads! Phoebe Buffay : The coins have finally forgiven me! Rachel Green : Well y'know what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! Phoebe Buffay : Rach, it's gonna be okay! You guys are the best! Joey Tribbiani : Boy I tell ya, that judging stuff took a lot out of me. Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. Ross Geller : Why-why would I care about that? Joey Tribbiani : No reason, I'm just saying that uh... That's where I'll be. Chandler Bing : As bad as that went I actually enjoyed myself. I think that I'm going to apologize for all of the stupid things I do. Monica Geller : Why don't you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldn't have to apologize. Chandler Bing : I would really love it if could do both. Monica Geller : All right, I...I have to ask. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again? Chandler Bing : What?! Monica Geller : Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained? Chandler Bing : A hundred and forty-five pounds. Monica Geller : In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! That's not the point. Chandler Bing : Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15! Monica Geller : Well... That's not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat. Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay, now wait a minute that was totally different. Monica Geller : How? Chandler Bing : You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back! Monica Geller : What if I have babies, okay? I mean I'm gonna look different. I'm okay with that, but I'm not sure that you are! Chandler Bing : Look you have to realize I don't think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is you're Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica. Monica Geller : Keep going. Chandler Bing : So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you. Monica Geller : Even if I shrink down to two inches tall? Chandler Bing : I'd carry you around in my pocket. Monica Geller : I love you. Chandler Bing : Skidmark's still got a way with the ladies. Rachel Green : Hi Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! I just want to apologize. I'm really sorry I was a baby. Phoebe Buffay : That's ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. Oh, you mean today. Rachel Green : Yeah. Yeah, and y'know you-you deserve to win. And-and y'know I was thinking about it, if-if you're Monica's maid of honor that means I get to be yours. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! Rachel Green : Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, y'know just in case... Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's so sweet thanks. Rachel Green : Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and here's a little purse that I found. Y'know I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Rachel Green : And umm, vintage handkerchiefs y'know 'cause, people cry at weddings. I'm just gonna grab a couple of these. Phoebe Buffay : This stuff is great! Rachel Green : Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monica's something borrowed and it's blue. Yeah... Phoebe Buffay : Y'know Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monica's made of honor. Rachel Green : You do? Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because I think it means more to you. Rachel Green : But Pheebs, y'know you earned it. Phoebe Buffay : Its fine. I mean, this is something that you've been thinking about since you were what, 14? Rachel Green : No, I was ten. I just developed early. Phoebe Buffay : Man alive! Monica Geller : Hey, what's going on? Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor. Monica Geller : Ohh, wow! That's great! Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; we'll get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? I'm so excited! Rachel Green : Yeah okay, you laugh now, but she's gonna be yours. Joey Tribbiani : Great nap. Ross Geller : It really was. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! Ross Geller : Excuse me. Joey Tribbiani : Morning! Rachel Green : Hi! Oh, how was your date last night? Joey Tribbiani : Pretty good. Rachel Green : Oh good. Ahhh! My God, sorry! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, really good. Anyway I gotta go; I'm late for work. Rachel Green : What-what?! You're gonna leave this person with me?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-Hey, don't worry, she's a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that I'm not looking for a serious relationship; that'd be great. Rachel Green : Why?! What?! Are you kidding?! Joey Tribbiani : Just casually slip it in, y'know lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, I'm a loner-No! An outlaw! Tell her she doesn't want to get mixed up with the likes of me. Rachel Green : Y'know what? That's a lot to remember, can't I just tell her you're a pig? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm gonna call her later! Honest! Oh come on, Chandler used to do it! He'd even make the girl pancakes! Plus, he'd make extras and leave 'em for me. Rachel Green : Well forget it, I'm not telling that girl anything. That is not my responsibility. Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Now, where'd we land on those pancakes? Joey's Date : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Joey's Date : Sorry about that, but I couldn't get that lock to work on the door. Rachel Green : Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in. Joey's Date : You must be Rachel, I'm Erin. Rachel Green : Hi. Erin : Hi. I don't mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me? Rachel Green : Would you like some pancakes? Chandler Bing : ...Come on! Why are we here?! Ross Geller : Okay, okay take a guess. Chandler Bing : The hot chicks? Ross Geller : Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, y'know-y'know for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! It's here! Yeah, it's right-it's right down here! In the biggest library in the university! Chandler Bing : Wow that's actually pretty cool. Ross Geller : Oh umm, there's also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. What is that? Chandler Bing : Sounds like two people are really enjoying the Dewey decimal system. Female Student : I'm so sorry! Male Student : Sorry! Chandler Bing : You didn't bring me here to do that, did you? Monica Geller : She sent the chicken back again?! The Waitress : She says it's to dry now and she wants to come back here and explain to you exactly how she wants it. Monica Geller : Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in! The Colonel : OH...MY...GAWD!!!! Monica Geller : Lucky bastard! Janice. Janice Litman Goralnik : How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! Monica Geller : I'm fine. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ohh! What is that on your finger?! I'm blind! Monica Geller : Oh... Uh... Janice Litman Goralnik : So, who's the lucky guy? Chandler Bing : OH...MY...GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didn't tell her we were getting married, did you? Monica Geller : Well, she saw the ring. Chandler Bing : Did she freak out? Monica Geller : Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people. Chandler Bing : Right. Monica Geller : Well, she actually has a boyfriend y'know herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too. Chandler Bing : You said no right? Monica Geller : Huh? Chandler Bing : You said no right?! Monica Geller : Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?! Chandler Bing : Lie!!! How hard is that?! The check's in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I can't wait to read your book Ross!! Monica Geller : Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it won't be so bad. Chandler Bing : What do you think she's just gonna sit there quietly? You don't think she's gonna want to make a toast? You don't think she's gonna want to grab the microphone and sing Part-time Lover?! Monica Geller : Oh my God, she's not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? It's gonna be okay. Y'know what? She's probably not gonna even want to come. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : No! That was a lie! See how easy that was? Monica Geller : So-so you would've just lied? Chandler Bing : Yes!! Monica Geller : Would it really have been that easy? Chandler Bing : Yes!!! Monica Geller : Good, so do it Saturday night because we're going to dinner with her and Clark. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! What's up? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, who's your friend? Hey!! Erin : Hey Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Erin! Still here! Rachel Green : Yeah, we ended up spending the day together and had such a great time! Joey Tribbiani : Why wouldn't ya? Erin is great! Then-then there's you guys. Erin : Ohh, listen. I've got to get going. Today was great, thanks! Rachel Green : I know! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Erin : Bye Joey. Last night was fun. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I'll uh, I'll call ya. Rachel Green : Oh and I'll call ya too! Erin : Or I'll call you! Phoebe Buffay : And call me! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, good to see you again. Erin : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Bye-bye. Rachel Green : Bye! Joey Tribbiani : So, system kinda broke down huh?! Rachel Green : Oh Joey, I'm sorry I just couldn't tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And y'know we got to talking and I... Phoebe Buffay : We want you to marry her! Joey Tribbiani : What?!! Phoebe Buffay : She is so amazing! You have no idea. Joey Tribbiani : No idea? Who do you think brought her here? Rachel Green : Cupid. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, she's so cool. She speaks four languages. Joey Tribbiani : Man, do you know what guys want! Rachel Green : Look Joey, come on she's so perfect for you! I mean she's sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch. Joey Tribbiani : My beers?! Look you guys, she's a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I just-I don't see it going anywhere. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you always say that. Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere. Joey Tribbiani : Look I'm sorry you guys, I-I just don't think so. Phoebe Buffay : Whatever. Rachel Green : Fine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't start judging me! Huh? You're the one who's in love with her assistant! Huh? And you, you're the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof! Rachel Green : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Secret affair! Ross Geller : People are doing it in front of my book! Rachel Green : I'm sorry? Ross Geller : My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin' babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Did you get to see anything good? Ross Geller : Let me ask you something, at your school was there a like uh a place on campus where students went to uh, fool around. Rachel Green : Yeah, there was. It was-there the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever read-Yes, there was. Ross Geller : Great! Because people kept showing up, I think it's like uh-a thing! Joey Tribbiani : Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall? Ross Geller : Oh for cryin' out loud! Joey Tribbiani : All right, so we should go catch our movie. Rachel Green : Well now what's the rush? Joey Tribbiani : I like to see the previews. The candy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Hey! Rachel Green : Well look who's here! Erin : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Erin : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Erin. Erin : Hey Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no! Erin : What's wrong? Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Joey Tribbiani : What party? Phoebe Buffay : A birthday party. Joey Tribbiani : Who's birthday party? Phoebe Buffay : Allison's birthday party. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, and how is Allison? Phoebe Buffay : 32. Rachel Green : Wait a minute! Why don't you guys do something?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, look how that worked out. Ross Geller : Excuse me. Hi, I'm a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437? The Librarian : Well, yes! Just give me five minutes, I just have to find someone to cover my shift. Ross Geller : No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! The Head Librarian : How can I help you? Ross Geller : Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it. The Head Librarian : We are aware of the problem you are referring too. But as far as increasing security, I'm afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I can't help you. Ross Geller : Well, fine. Fine! If-if I'm the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, I'll go up there and defend it myself! And don't you follow me! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : How did it go with Erin? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, unbelievable! We had the best time! Phoebe Buffay : Yay!! Oh so, you're not, you're not mad at us anymore? Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Y'know? That was so awkward, we were really nervous. Phoebe Buffay : Didn't you sleep together? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well that's a... Rachel Green : Oh my God! Listen to you talkin' about having kids. Oh my Joey. Oh, please don't get married before I do. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up! Monica Geller : He might still show up. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, what are you, stupid? It's been three hours. Monica Geller : Is that all? Janice Litman Goralnik : I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why don't you tell about your lovely wedding? Chandler Bing : Well actually uh, there was something we wanted to tell you about the wedding. Um, it's going to be a small ceremony. Uh, tiny! We're not even sure why we're having it. Monica Geller : It's actually going to be just family. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh...wait...you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red? Joey Tribbiani : How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer! Erin : What about Benitez? Joey Tribbiani : What about Game 1 of the Series? Erin : What about shut up? Joey Tribbiani : You shut up! I love arguing with her. I'll be right back. Erin : Okay. Rachel Green : So how's it goin' with Joey? Erin : Uh, okay. Rachel Green : Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him. Erin : Look, he's a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just don't see this having a future. Rachel Green : But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?! Erin : Kinda. Phoebe Buffay : Then change it back! Erin : I'm sorry I... It's just there's no real spark. Phoebe Buffay : No spark? Didn't you sleep together? Erin : Yeah. Rachel Green : Ugh, tramp! Phoebe Buffay : Does Joey have any idea? Erin : I really don't think he does. And y'know what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Y'know, tell him I'm-I'm not interested in a serious relationship or something. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you mean like that you're kind of a loner. Erin : Yeah! That would be great! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and maybe that you're a real Erin : I'm sorry? Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, I guess Italian isn't one of the four languages you speak. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You wanna go? Erin : Yeah, let's go. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. See you guys later. Erin : Bye guys. Rachel Green : Yeah, see ya. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, thank you so much. Rachel Green : Wow. Well, I guess it was Cupid who brought her here. Phoebe Buffay : No, just a regular old flying dwarf. Ross Geller : Yes? Yes?! How can I help you? Guy : Yeah, we were...we were just looking around. Ross Geller : Oh-oh, you're-you're fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, perhaps Dr. Chester Stock's musings on the Smiledon Californicus? Guy : Uhh.... Ross Geller : Ah... Ah...Get out of here! Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marion's views on evolution? Woman : Uh, actually I find Marion's views far to progressionist. Ross Geller : I find Marion's views far to progressionist. Woman : I'm sorry, who are you? Ross Geller : I'm a professor here uh, Ross...Geller. Woman : Ross Geller, why do I know that name? It's uh-Wait! Did you write this? Ross Geller : Yes! You're the person who checked out my book?! Woman : Y'know, you look nothing like I would've thought. You're...you're so young. Ross Geller : Well I uh, I skipped forth grade. Ross Geller : I am very...very sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : So how was, how was your date? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still... And guess what, I'm thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts. Phoebe Buffay : Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you? Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no! It's a surprise, but it's gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, yeah. Rachel Green : Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, she's not lookin' for a serious relationship. Joey Tribbiani : Where are you gettin' this? Rachel Green : Well, she told me. She said she's kinda a loner. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Oh. Rachel Green : Joey... Joey Tribbiani : No hey Rach, it's cool okay? Y'know I'm a loner too! Right? Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey, y'know what? You are way to good for her. Rachel Green : Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell 'em you're not looking for a relationship. Joey Tribbiani : No! No. Don't do that, just next time make sure she really likes me. Rachel Green : Well that too. Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Rachel Green : Do you want some pancakes? Joey Tribbiani : Finally! Monica Geller : What are we gonna do? Chandler Bing : I say we go with Careless Whisper. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Did she see us yet? Did she see us? Monica Geller : Janice, what umm, what are you doing here? Janice Litman Goralnik : Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldn't really be alone tonight. I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family. Monica Geller : Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice aren't they? Janice Litman Goralnik : Please, it's because otherwise I really don't know what I might do. Chandler Bing : Aren't you just a tinsy bit curious? Janice Litman Goralnik : Do you have any tissues? Monica Geller : Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay! Monica Geller : We'll just...we'll just let her stay. Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no, if we let her stay, she will stay forever! Monica Geller : Kinda like your Barca lounger. Chandler Bing : Is that what you're thinking about right now? Monica Geller : I never stop thinking about it. Janice Litman Goralnik : Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath. Chandler Bing : Janice, I'm sorry but umm, you can't stay here tonight. Janice Litman Goralnik : Why not? Chandler Bing : Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not. Janice Litman Goralnik : Okay, I'm going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. Do you have a cat? 'Cause it's already happening. Do you hear that? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go! Janice Litman Goralnik : Why? Monica Geller : Because Chandler still has feelings for you! Janice Litman Goralnik : He does? Chandler Bing : Say again? Monica Geller : That's right. That's right. And that is why you can't stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldn't come to the wedding. Chandler Bing : Feelings, such strong feelings. Monica Geller : I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh...my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, I'll go. Good-bye Monica , I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, you call me when this goes in the pooper. Ross Geller : Don't sweat it, I've got this section covered. Yeah, in fact I've got this little baby to shine in people's eye--Okay, see you later. Chandler Bing : I just wanted to show Monica your book. Ross Geller : Hey everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! Chandler Bing : No, no, no. No-no-no. Joey Tribbiani : Shhhh! Ross Geller : What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year? Chandler Bing : No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes. Ross Geller : What? That's like insanely easy! Chandler Bing : Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen . Monica Geller : It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose. Ross Geller : What? You forgot fourteen states? Monica Geller : Nobody cares about the Dakotas. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay, time's up! Rachel Green : All right, I got 48. Chandler Bing : Oh that's not bad, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I Got Tired Of Naming States. So I Decided To List The Types Of Celery, And I Have One regular celery. Chandler Bing : Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in...vegetables, Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game. Ross Geller : Wow, how many have you got? Joey Tribbiani : Fifty-six! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How is New England not a state? Huh? They have a sports-team! Chandler Bing : Does South Oregon have a sports-team? There you go. Rachel Green : How come we have one extra place setting? Monica Geller : 'Cause you invited your assistant. Rachel Green : Oh, right. Sorry. But Tag's not coming; his girlfriend came into town, so he's spending Thanksgiving with her. Monica Geller : Oh! Why didn't you tell me? I made him his own individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin. Rachel Green : Well, I was going to, but then I figured, you know... you're food is so delicious and perfect, you can never have too many of those pumpkin things. Monica Geller : Now you think I wouldn't enjoy that, because it is so fake, but I still do. Phoebe Buffay : Regular Celery! Oh, I already have that. Ross Geller : Done! With time a-to-spare. Chandler Bing : Oooh that may be a New World's record Ross Geller : You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm? Chandler Bing : Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states. Ross Geller : What? That's impossible. Joey Tribbiani : 46. Wow! Who's well educated now, Mr. I-forgot-ten-states? Monica Geller : All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food! Chandler Bing : I am only one man! Okay Ross, time is up! Ross Geller : No, just give me another minute. Chandler Bing : Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself. Ross Geller : This-this is crazy! I can do this! All right, uhh, I bet I can get all 50 before dinner. Chandler Bing : Okay, but if you can't...no dinner! Ross Geller : You're on! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have. Monica Geller : Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work? Joey Tribbiani : But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right? Monica Geller : Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay? Ross Geller : Pshhshhh! Monica Geller : Chandler? Can you give me a hand? Chandler Bing : Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys I'm gonna go out and take a walk. Ross Geller : Phoebe, why is your bag moving? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's not! Rachel Green : Seriously, it's moving! Joey Tribbiani : What the hell is in there? Phoebe Buffay : It's just my knitting that's all! Yes! I knit this. I'm very good. Monica Geller : Ross's apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Maybe it's because it smells a little weird. It's like old pumpkins or something. Monica Geller : That's my pie! Chandler Bing : Which smells delicious! Monica Geller : Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : We left Joey alone with the food! Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog! Phoebe Buffay : Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help? Monica Geller : Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, who's this? Monica Geller : Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch! Chandler Bing : Tell her, I'm allergic, and I will sue! Phoebe Buffay : No, there's no dog here? Monica Geller : Yes there is! He's black and white and shaggy and he's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god! Where are you? Monica Geller : I'll be right there! Phoebe Buffay : They're here already? How are they doing this? Rachel Green : Hi Tag! What are you doing here? Tag Jones : I, uh, wanted to see if your offer to spend Thanksgiving with you is still good. Rachel Green : Well, sure! Come in! Well, what-what happened to your girlfriend? Tag Jones : We kinda broke up this morning. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry. Tag Jones : Yeah, so she went back to Ohio. Ross Geller : Ohio!! Thank you! Chandler Bing : Huh! Where is the dog?! Ross Geller : What dog? There-there's no dog here. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that dog left! Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe, open up! Phoebe Buffay : There's no dog in here. Chandler Bing : Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking! Phoebe Buffay : No that's just me coughing! Oh, good, there you are! Listen, um, I have a dog in my room. Chandler Bing : What is it doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people? Monica Geller : Oooh, I wish she could stay here, but Chandler is allergic! Chandler Bing : Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up! Phoebe Buffay : That's odd, 'cause this dog's been living here for the past 3 days Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog? Chandler Bing : Well, it still has to go, right? Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : Okay, it's um... Joey Tribbiani : Don't do it! Monica Geller : Don't do what? Chandler Bing : I have to! Okay? It's time! Okay, I hate dogs. #ALL# : What? Phoebe Buffay : Are you crazy? Ross Geller : Are you out of your mind? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Joey Tribbiani : Told ya. Chandler Bing : They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit. Ross Geller : Right, they are scary. Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!! Rachel Green : Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs? I mean, not even puppies? Chandler Bing : Is there a puppy here? Tag Jones : You don't like puppies? Chandler Bing : Okay, you are new! Joey Tribbiani : Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin' ice cream. Phoebe Buffay : You don't like ice cream? Ross Geller : It's too cold. Chandler Bing : Okay, it's just that dogs make me a little uncomfortable. Ross Geller : It hurts my teeth. Chandler Bing : And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. Oh my god!! Ross Geller : How can I not get this? I'm a college professor; I got 1450 on my S.A.T.s. Monica Geller : 1250. Ross Geller : Damn, I forgot you were here. Phoebe Buffay : All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Ross's. We'll be back in a minute. Rachel Green : Oh, wait before you guys go, can I just ask you a question? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'd say about a month. Monica Geller : Really? I'd say 3 to 4. Joey Tribbiani : Half hour. Rachel Green : Interesting. Monica Geller : When it's your assistant, I would say never. Joey Tribbiani : All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point. Rachel Green : Huh. A moo-point? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo. Rachel Green : Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense? Monica Geller : Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-he's obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend. Rachel Green : You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you. Okay, that's what I'm gonna do. Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside. Rachel Green : Hey! Tag Jones : Hey. Rachel Green : How are you holding up? Tag Jones : Not bad. Rachel Green : Yeah? I'm sorry about your girlfriend. Tag Jones : Thanks. Rachel Green : So were you guys together a long time? Tag Jones : A year. On and off. I kinda thought we'd end up together. I don't anymore. Rachel Green : Now that she broke up with you? Tag Jones : Yeah. Rachel Green : Yeah. Hmmmm. Tag Jones : It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling? Rachel Green : No...Yeah, all the time, constantly. It's terrifying. But you know that I figure it...it has to work out. Tag Jones : Why? Rachel Green : Because, uh-it has to. Tag Jones : You have all the answers, don't you? Rachel Green : Yeah, I know, I do. I really do. Tag Jones : Hey, thanks for talking to me. Rachel Green : Well, what is a boss for? Hug it out! Joey Tribbiani : All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it! Tag Jones : What? Joey Tribbiani : Street noise drowned any of that out? No, all right, I see you later, okay... Tag Jones : What did Joey say? I like you back? Rachel Green : Uh, yeah, well, see, he... Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and...you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah! Tag Jones : Wait-wait a minute; that doesn't make any sense. Rachel Green : No? All right, here's the truth um, Joey said what he said, because um, I'm attracted to you. Tag Jones : Wow. Rachel Green : Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now. Tag Jones : Oh my god! Those guys are stealing my car! Rachel Green : What? Tag Jones : Right there! That's my car! Hey!! Rachel Green : Okay, that's gonna take them a minute. Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest? Tag Jones : I can't believe this! Rachel Green : Wait, we still have time to talk and they're-they're not even in the car yet! Oh look, there they go, okay. Monica Geller : Okay Phoebe, we should probably go back now. Phoebe Buffay : Please don't leave me, I'll be lonely. Monica Geller : Stop it. Stop! Okay let's go. We can be strong. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay. Monica Geller : Oh my god! Did you hear that? She said Monica! Oooh, I can't leave her! Phoebe Buffay : You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know. Monica Geller : That's not gonna work. Phoebe Buffay : I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart. Monica Geller : Hey! I didn't know either. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you kinda knew that something was going on, didn't you? Monica Geller : Yeah, I knew. Phoebe Buffay : Where's Chandler? Chandler Bing : Here I am. Phoebe Buffay : Wash your hands!!! Chandler Bing : How did you...know? Ross Geller : Hey! What's she doing back here? Monica Geller : Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream! Ross Geller : Hey look, Phoebe. I, uh, I laid out the states geographically... Phoebe Buffay : No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom. Ross Geller : Yeah, but, but look what I'm... Phoebe Buffay : See, this is exactly what we do not have time for. Chandler Bing : Where's Monica? Ross Geller : Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there. Chandler Bing : Why not? Ross Geller : Monica's crying. She's very upset about this whole Clunkers thing. Chandler Bing : Well, I, I should go in there. Ross Geller : No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now. Chandler Bing : Why not? Ross Geller : Because you sent away the dog! Chandler Bing : This is ridiculous. Ross Geller : Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend...Phyllis...take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! What's the matter? Chandler Bing : Monica's all upset, because I sent Clunkers away. Joey Tribbiani : So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I can be a hero, I could do that. I could, I could do... I, w-w-what if, what if it attacks me? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, it's like a big gerbil. Chandler Bing : And that doesn't scare you? Joey Tribbiani : Ross, you need some help? Ross Geller : From you? Yes, please! Joey Tribbiani : First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up! Ross Geller : I hate America! When I finish this game, I swear I am moving. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Tag's still talking to the police. Rachel Green : Yeah, ohh! Why, damnit, why did I open my mouth? I have a crush on you; I am attracted to you. Gee, I-I know that I freaked him out Joey Tribbiani : If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, is Chandler here? Chandler Bing : No, no he went for a walk. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but you cannot tell him... but look whose back! Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Oh No-no-no-no-no-no-no! He went over to Ross' to bring the dog back here! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, the dog's not going to be there! Joey Tribbiani : You think? Monica Geller : Hi, honey. Chandler Bing : Please, please, please, don't be mad at me. Monica Geller : What? Why, why would... Phoebe Buffay : Shh, wait and see. Maybe we will, maybe we won't. Chandler Bing : Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Y'know, for you, and... I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. Phoebe Buffay : We have good news, look whose back! Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Clunkers?! Oh my god! Monica Geller : That's right, she came back all by herself. Phoebe Buffay : It's a Thanksgiving miracle! Chandler Bing : It is so good to see you! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building. Oh, the things she must have seen! And then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw and then we ran to let her in... I went to far, didn't I? When should I have stopped? Ross Geller : Okay, maybe this is so hard, because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you something, I have 49 states, and there are no more! I-I think, I should be able to eat something. Chandler Bing : It's up to you. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! How are you doing? Tag Jones : I'm okay. I gotta go down to the police station and look at mug shots. Rachel Green : Oh. Tag Jones : Thanks for having me over, you guys. Ross Geller : Tag? Y-You're going? Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again? Tag Jones : Colorado. Ross Geller : Ah, what good are you. Rachel Green : Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace. Tag Jones : Okay. Rachel Green : Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. It-y'know what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay? Tag Jones : Um, I'm not. Rachel Green : Oh, god, I know it, that I freaked you out. Tag Jones : No, you didn't. The only thing that freaked me out was you saying that nothing could ever happen between us. Rachel Green : Really? Tag Jones : Yeah, so, please don't fire me for doing this. Rachel Green : Okay, well, that's one less thing we have to do on Monday. Ross Geller : Delaware! Delaware! Chandler Bing : All right. Ross Geller : I want my turkey now! Chandler Bing : You got it. You got Nevada twice. Ross Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ben Geller : I'm ready! Ross Geller : You sure? Ben Geller : Uh-huh! Chandler Bing : Okay, let me just straighten out your helmet there. Ben Geller : Thanks daddy. Ross Geller : No-no, one daddy, two mommies. All right, it's all yours. Chandler Bing : Okay. Okay. Ross Geller : Yes! Yes! Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : His first big kid's bike, this is so exciting! Monica Geller : Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and...it bent. Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I never had a bike of my own. Ross Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, we didn't have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on. Chandler Bing : That sounds like my first bike. My dad gave me his old one. Ross Geller : Ohh. Monica Geller : Did the girl ever let you ride it? Phoebe Buffay : No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard. Ross Geller : That is so unfair! Phoebe Buffay : Not really, I got to drag him around too! Chandler Bing : Hey! What are you guys doing? Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Making holiday candy for the neighbors. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, who? Monica Geller : I'm gonna hang this basket on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece. Chandler Bing : But we don't know the neighbors. Joey Tribbiani : I do. There's uh, let's see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids I've Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty. Monica Geller : See? This is exactly why I'm making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors. Chandler Bing : Wouldn't it be easier if we just moved? Rachel Green : Gooood morning!! Chandler Bing : Eh, somebody's in a good mood! Rachel Green : Well, why shouldn't I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job! Monica Geller : Where you can make out with your assistant. Rachel Green : Come on, it's not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem. Monica Geller : Oh yeah, what's the plan? Rachel Green : We... We are not... ...going to let it... be a problem. Monica Geller : Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?! Rachel Green : Well y'know, we did other stuff too. Monica Geller : Did you two... Rachel Green : Oh Monica come on, y'know I don't sleep with guys on the first date! Monica Geller : Matt Guire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wire... Rachel Green : Anymore!! Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct? Tag Jones : Yes, at 4:00. Rachel Green : Okay, thank you. That'll be all. Wait! Wait! Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. Tag Jones : I'd better get back to my desk. Rachel Green : Okay, you hard worker! I'll remember to put that in your evaluation. Tag Jones : My what? Rachel Green : Well, you've been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But y'know, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. Tag Jones : Are you serious? Rachel Green : No, I've just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up? Monica Geller : The basket is totally empty! My God, the neighbors ate all the candy! Chandler Bing : Well, either that or uh... Monica Geller : Joey!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Monica Geller : Did you eat all the neighbor candy?! Joey Tribbiani : Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and they've been coming by all day. They love it! Monica Geller : They love my candy? Oh man!!! I've gotta go make more!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something might've happened to a huge chunk of it. Monica Geller : Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!! Ross Geller : Mine stole my newspaper! It's like a crime wave!! Pheebs, you uh, you got a second. Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Ross Geller : Yeah, ever since you uh, told me that story about that bike I-I couldn't stop thinking about it. I mean, everyone should have a-a first bike, so... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God Ross!! Ross Geller : You like it? Phoebe Buffay : I love it!! Ross Geller : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh!! Ohh!! And I love you! Ross Geller : Ahh. Phoebe Buffay : Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer! Ross Geller : Ah! Well uh-uh, t-take it downstairs, y'know give it a test ride. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Oh my God! My first bike! Thank you for the best present I've ever gotten. Ross Geller : You're welcome. Phoebe Buffay : Oh and Chandler's about to cry. Chandler Bing : Am not! Monica Geller : Who is that?! Chandler Bing : Don't worry, I'm brave! I am brave! I...I am brave! No-no-no-no!! Can you tell me who is there please? The Knocker : My name is Gary, I live upstairs. Gary : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi. Do you know what time it is? Gary : It's candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven. Monica Geller : Oh please! Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven. Chandler Bing : 4:00 A.M. Gary : So, can I get some candy? Chandler Bing : I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! He does not know that I am not some of us. Monica Geller : Umm, listen I am sorry, but I'll put some out first thing in the morning. Gary : Well okay, I'll swing by later. Do you live in this building? Monica Geller : Um-hmm. Gary : Mm! Seems like I would've remembered you! Chandler Bing : Mm! Night Gar'! Rachel Green : So did you read your evaluation yet? Tag Jones : No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources. Rachel Green : Okay please, you're kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you! Tag Jones : A joke they would appreciate? Rachel Green : I'm thinkin' no. Tag Jones : What did you say?! Rachel Green : Umm, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your tiney-tiny touchie. Tag Jones : No, not my touchie. Rachel Green : Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch. Monica Geller : Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried. Joey Tribbiani : Almost cried huh? Hear that Chandler? Almost cried! Chandler Bing : Hey, you cry every time somebody talks about Titanic! Joey Tribbiani : Those two only had each other! Ross Geller : Phoebe really likes the bike huh? Monica Geller : Oh yeah! I saw her walkin' it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin' it by the park. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh hi! Chandler Bing : Hey! So are you enjoying the bike? Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, uh-huh so much! Ross Geller : Pheebs you uh...you do know how to ride a bike don't you? Phoebe Buffay : Of course! Monica Geller : Umm, can we see you ride it? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. See? Monica Geller : See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing! Chandler Bing : What happened? I'm just eating candy. Rachel Green : Maybe it's not as bad as I think. Y'know, maybe they didn't take it the way I meant it. Chandler Bing : Absolutely! Y'know, because touchie can mean both ass and good worker. Rachel Green : Ugh, I just gotta get the thing back! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Joey! Chandler Bing : What is the matter with you? Rachel Green : Ugh! Joey Tribbiani : Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn. The Woman : Hi! I'm sorry, I know it's after hours but I really need candy. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I can't help you. See? Rules are rules. The Woman : Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy! Monica Geller : No kidding, out of towners huh? What did you tell 'em? The Woman : I told 'em your candy is absolutely indescribable! Monica Geller : Some people have been saying its y'know little drops of heaven, but whatever. The Woman : Please, can't you help me out? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler, do we know that lady? Chandler Bing : Maybe, isn't she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud? Monica Geller : All right, I'll do it just this once! But you can't tell anybody! The Woman : Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me! Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's her. The Woman : Thank you. Monica Geller : It's unbelievable! I-I can't believe that sign didn't work! Chandler Bing : Y'know what would work? Monica Geller : Hmm? Chandler Bing : Stop making candy! Monica Geller : But they like it! Chandler Bing : You mean they like you. Monica Geller : Maybe. Chandler Bing : Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you? Monica Geller : Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? Ross Geller : Okay, now just remember everything I taught you and you'll be fine. Okay? Here we go. Ready...Set... Phoebe Buffay : Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seat-or a beanbag chair! Ross Geller : Phoebe, you can't get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Why do I have to learn? Ross Geller : Well...In-in case of emergency. Phoebe Buffay : What kind of an emergency? Ross Geller : Well let there-what if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or I'll sh...I'll shoot you." Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star. Ross Geller : Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike and-Hey! I'll hold you up and-and push you. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : You won't let go? Ross Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Swear?! Ross Geller : I swear! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : Come on. All right, here we go. All right? Phoebe Buffay : All right. Ross Geller : All right. Feel good? Phoebe Buffay : Well... Ross Geller : All right, try pedaling. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : That's it, your doing great. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : Doing great! Yes-yes-yes! Take control! Yes! Phoebe Buffay : Weee!!! Ross Geller : Yes!! Yes!!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Oh! Oh no!! You swore! Ross Geller : I-I just thought you were doing so well. I... Phoebe Buffay : I am shocked! Shocked!! Ross Geller : It's a legitimate learning technique. Wow! Ross Geller : Hey, there's uh, some people outside, askin' about candy. Monica Geller : Well, they're just gonna have to wait aren't they? I've only got two hands!! Ross Geller : Need some help? Monica Geller : No! You don't know the system! There'll be nobody messing with the system! Ross Geller : By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hello liar. Ross Geller : Look, I-I'm really sorry I let go of the bike. Phoebe Buffay : I could've been killed I hope you know! Ross Geller : I know. I know. But, can we please try it again? Huh? I mean, you were so close Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I would love to but...the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. Ross Geller : Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : What?! What the hell?! Ross Geller : All right, y'know what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then I'm sorry, I'm just gonna have to take it back. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Why?! Ross Geller : Because! Because, it-it-it's... It'd be like you having this guitar and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you don't ride it you-you're-you're killing its spirit! The bike is dying. Phoebe Buffay : All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay. Ross Geller : Great! Great! You're making the bike very happy. Phoebe Buffay : Okay Ross! Please don't die! Rachel Green : Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but we're gonna have to get into Mr. Zelner's office. Now, he doesn't get in until 10, so he's no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk. Tag Jones : That's kinda sad. Rachel Green : Yeah, well Betty's kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. Now, while I distract her, you get in the office. Tag Jones : Got it! Rachel Green : Let's roll! Mr. Zelner : Hello Rachel, you uh, got a minute? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anything-minute. Okay. Fine. Abort the plan, abort the plan. Mr. Zelner : Uh actually, I'd like to speak with both of you. Rachel Green : Okay. Uh, well can we, can we get you anything Mr. Zelner? Maybe some chocolates? Mr. Zelner : Umm, no. Thanks, but I'll give these to Betty. So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two? Rachel Green : Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, what would happen exactly. Mr. Zelner : Well, I'd be forced to file a report. I'd have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy. Rachel Green : Well... Tag Jones : Uh Mr. Zelner, I'm the one who filled in that evaluation. Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no... Tag Jones : Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, I thought it would be funny. Mr. Zelner : You wrote that you have a cute touchie? Tag Jones : Yes. I have a weird sense of humor, and I'm kinda strangely proud of my butt. Mr. Zelner : It's kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I can't figure out what this is? Rachel Green : You're lookin' at it upside down-y'know what? It doesn't matter. Mr. Zelner : Yeah, it's not like I don't have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But there's a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? No? Okay, well uh, you've got my fax number. Rachel Green : Whoa! I can't believe you did that. That was really sweet. Tag Jones : No, don't worry about it. Rachel Green : No, you could've lost your job. Tag Jones : Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, I'd find work. Rachel Green : Thank you! You're great! Tag Jones : Y'know what? Rachel Green : What? Tag Jones : I feel great. In fact! What? Rachel Green : I... It just-it took me so long to get that desk organized. Tag Jones : Oh, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : There it is. Chandler Bing : What is going on? The Man : We're waiting for the candy. Bring out the candy! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah lady! Give us candy!! Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : What's up buddy? Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Waiting for candy. Chandler Bing : Get in here! Hey, and you can not smoke in here! Merry Christmas. Monica Geller : Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool! #ALL# : We want candy! We want candy now! Chandler Bing : All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and I'll bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right? The Man : Candy Lady? Chandler Bing : No not Candy Lady. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!! Chandler Bing : All right, y'know what? Forget it, all of you forget it! You've ruined it! Go home! You've ruined it! You've ruined it! Joey Tribbiani : That's right, it's all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! Monica Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : You're welcome. Monica Geller : Did you smoke? Chandler Bing : No! Smokes-A-Lot Lady blew smoke directly into my mouth. Eh-uh-are you okay? Monica Geller : I'm fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I don't know... Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought I'd be able to do that! Thank you Ross. Ross Geller : Oh hey, don't thank me, thank yourself. You're the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them. Phoebe Buffay : Don't be so corny Ross, it's not an after-school special. Chandler Bing : Buh-bye. I just got us reservations at Michelle's and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple. Monica Geller : Betrothed... Chandler Bing : ...betrothed couple. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Haaaa... ... ahhhh! Chandler Bing : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Chandler Bing : Skull? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, it's my mom's. Rachel Green : Oh my god!! Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. Ross Geller : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Monica Geller : Licorice? Ross Geller : Sure! Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year. #ALL# : Ohh! That's great! Monica Geller : Are you gonna dress up as Santa? Ross Geller : Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah. Phoebe Buffay : And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die. Rachel Green : You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe. Ross Geller : Hmm. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Did you know he was in there? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : How long have we been home? Monica Geller : About a half an hour. Chandler Bing : Lovely! Chandler Bing : Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Why not? Monica Geller : Bing's weird. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, you guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Guess what! My landlord just called and my apartment is gonna get ready soon, so I guess I'll be moving out. Monica Geller : Ahh, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news. Chandler Bing : Ohh! You guys gonna be living together again? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, why not? Chandler Bing : Well, she's just so much fun with Joey, I just assumed, she'd still be living with him. Phoebe Buffay : Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey? Chandler Bing : No reason, except...she...told...me. Phoebe Buffay : Really? So she said, she didn't wanna live with me anymore? Chandler Bing : No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now. Monica Geller : Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you. Phoebe Buffay : You're sure? You're absolutely sure? Monica Geller : Well, no. But, um, I bet she probably does. Phoebe Buffay : Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. Kind of what 'probably' really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," y'know? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Y'know? You gotta take care of yourselves! In this world history teaches us nothing! Chandler Bing : Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it? Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Great, you're home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! Rachel Green : Drums? Joey Tribbiani : No! Drums! Chandler Bing : Hi, could we get two burritos to go, please? Monica Geller : I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing. Maitre D' : Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes. Chandler Bing : Forty-five minutes? We have tickets to the Musicman at 8:00. Maitre D' : I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir. Chandler Bing : Is this because of the burrito thing? Monica Geller : You need to give him money. Chandler Bing : Give him money? It was a joke! Monica Geller : No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin' you down. Everybody wants to be paid off. Chandler Bing : Right, calm down, O'Mally. I'll slip him some money. Monica Geller : You've got to be smooth about it. Chandler Bing : Hey, I can be smooth. Listen, we're a little bit in a hurry, so, if you can get us a table a little quicker, I'd appreciate it. Maitre D' : Of course, sir. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : How did it go? Chandler Bing : Had the money in the wrong hand. Ross Geller : Wooooooo, hehehe. Hey, ahh, you don't feel like you're gonna throw up, do ya? Ben Geller : No. Ross Geller : Well, I do, so let's... So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya? Ben Geller : Christmas. Ross Geller : Yep, and you know what other holiday is coming up? Ben Geller : Christmas eve. Ross Geller : Yes, but also Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday. Ben Geller : Santa has reindeers that can fly! Ross Geller : Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees. Ben Geller : Jingle bells, jingle bells... Ross Geller : Okay, that's right, yes, but on Hanukkah, uh, we sing, uh Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay. Ben Geller : Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer... Ross Geller : Okay, it's not a contest. Ben Geller : When is Santa coming? Ross Geller : Well, how about this year, instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah? Ben Geller : No Santa? Was I bad? Ross Geller : No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben. Ben Geller : Santa's mad at me. Ross Geller : No, hey-hey, come on, Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy! Ben Geller : So Santa's coming? Ross Geller : Yes! Santa's coming! Monica Geller : It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money! Chandler Bing : How do you know so much about this? Monica Geller : I don't know. Chandler Bing : Richard used to do it, didn't he? Monica Geller : We'd be eating our soup right now. Chandler Bing : Mustached bastard... Monica Geller : Okay, those people just left, come on! Quick! Give him the money and get their table! Chandler Bing : Excuse me... Male Guest : Good evening. Chandler Bing : Ahh-hahaha! Rachel Green : Ha! Phoebe Buffay : So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Y'know, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. Ready? One, two, three, four... Joey Tribbiani : Tequila!! Phoebe Buffay : That's fun. Gunther : Here you go. Chandler Bing : Thank you Gunther, put it there. Definitely not easier with coins. Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Here. Now I only owe you $49.50. Chandler Bing : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway? Monica Geller : It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, thank you. You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums. Monica Geller : Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe on some level. Rachel Green : Joey, y'know that you could just not throw the sticks up in the air. Joey Tribbiani : What is Rock 'n' Roll about that? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Joey, I got you another present. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! Okay, what is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's a...tarantula! Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage? Rachel Green : What are you talking about? I love them! Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool? Joey Tribbiani : Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! Rachel Green : Oh, isn't that adorable? Joey is afraid of the tarantula. Phoebe Buffay : Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. Rachel Green : What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter? Phoebe Buffay : Our apartment is ready. Rachel Green : And that makes you angry because... Phoebe Buffay : Because you would rather live here with Joey. Rachel Green : Where did you get that? Phoebe Buffay : Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that. Rachel Green : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Hm? Rachel Green : Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out! Phoebe Buffay : Fish! Rachel Green : It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me, but okay, if you're having so much fun over here... Rachel Green : Oh, it's so much more fun with you. Phoebe Buffay : We did have fun, didn't we? Rachel Green : We did! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, anyway, they say, if we want, we can see it tonight. Rachel Green : Oh, I would love to! Phoebe Buffay : Yay, okay! Rachel Green : Good, good, good, good, good. Phoebe Buffay : Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop. Rachel Green : Um... Done! Ross Geller : Hey! Salesman : Hello, Sir. You're here to return those pants? Ross Geller : No, these are my pants. Salesman : Oh. Okay! How can I help you? Ross Geller : Well, uh, do you have a Santa-outfit left? Salesman : Two days before Christmas? Sorry, man. Ross Geller : Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I...uh, you gotta have something. Ross Geller : I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you a Merry Christmas! Monica Geller : What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo? Ross Geller : Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas. Monica Geller : Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from...Texas. Ben Geller : Texas? Ross Geller : That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents. Ben Geller : Wow! Thanks! Ross Geller : You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas, ooh, and Happy Hanukkah! Ben Geller : Are you for Hanukkah, too? Because I'm part-Jewish. Ross Geller : You are? Me, too! Monica Geller : Because Armadillos also wandered in the desert? Ross Geller : You wanna wander in the hall? Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights? Ben Geller : Cool! Ross Geller : Yeah! Monica Geller : Come on Ben. Ross Geller : Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees... Chandler Bing : Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Ben Geller : Santa! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : What are you doing here, Santa? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man? Ross Geller : I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember? Chandler Bing : What? Ben Geller : Did you bring me any presents, Santa? Chandler Bing : You bet I did, Ben, put it there! Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! Ho, ho, ho! Monica Geller : Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say. Ross Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work! Ross Geller : Thank you, but, but you gotta leave. Chandler Bing : Why? Ross Geller : Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it. Chandler Bing : But I didn't get to shape my belly like a bowl full of jelly. Ross Geller : I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me. Chandler Bing : Fine, I'll give the suit back. Monica Geller : Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? Chandler Bing : Santa? Really? Monica Geller : Yes, is that okay? Chandler Bing : Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Then it's okay! Ross Geller : Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye! Ben Geller : No! Why does he have to go? Chandler Bing : Because, if Santa and the Holiday...Armadillo? ...are ever in the same room for too long the universe will implode. Merry Christmas! Ben Geller : No! Why can't the Armadillo leave? I want Santa! Ross Geller : Fine, I-I give up. Santa, Santa can stay. Chandler Bing : Well, I'll stay, but only because I wanna hear about Hanukkah. Ben, will you sit here with Santa and learn about Hanukkah? Ben Geller : Okay, Santa! Ross Geller : All right, it's time for the story of Hanukkah. Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees. Joey Tribbiani : Merry Christmas! Rachel Green : Oh wow! Look at this place! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is terrible. Oh, they've made so many changes I can't even feel my grandmother's presence anymore-Ooh! New sconces! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : Okay, remember uh, remember how you told me that your grandmother put up that wall to make that into two bedrooms? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : And remember how you always said you were afraid the landlord would find out and then tear it down? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : Do you really not know where I'm going with this? It left! It's one huge room! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Oh! Wow!!! Rachel Green : See? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I guess we'll just have to put the wall back up. Rachel Green : You can't, because of the new skylight! Phoebe Buffay : There's a skylight?! Wow!! Rachel Green : So what should we do? Should we start looking for a new place? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know I'm-I'm sensing that um, my grandmother would not be comfortable with that. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Startin' to feel her again there are we? Phoebe Buffay : A little bit, yeah. Rachel Green : Pheebs is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone? Phoebe Buffay : You heard her too?! You have the gift! Rachel Green : Phoebe, it's okay. I like living with Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Are you sure? Rachel Green : Oh please, I hate packing, it's closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, I'm really gonna miss living with you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh me too. Rachel Green : I know. Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, I'm gettin' something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair? Phoebe Buffay : No, I do not hear that. Ross Geller : ...and the miracle was that that little bit of oil that should've just lasted just one day, burned for... Ben Geller : Eight whole days. Ross Geller : That's right, and that's why we celebrate Hanukkah today. The end. Ben Geller : Awesome! Ross Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt. Ross Geller : The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, it's time to light the Hanukkah candles! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Rachel Green : Wow! It looks like the Easter Bunny's funeral in here. Ross Geller : Come on, come on, we're-we're-we're lighting the candles! Rachel Green : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny's funeral? Rachel Green : I got it! Joey Tribbiani : Is it back in the cage? Rachel Green : Its back in cage! Joey Tribbiani : Cage closed? Rachel Green : Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby! Chandler Bing : Ohh. Mmm. Rachel Green : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey, you have got to try this cheesecake. Rachel Green : Oh, y'know I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I--Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? Chandler Bing : It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us. Rachel Green : Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. Thief. Chandler Bing : I-no! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box. Rachel Green : Why, why not? Chandler Bing : Because it's too delicious. Rachel Green : Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong. Chandler Bing : No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, Momma's Little Bakery. I feel terrible, I'm a horrible, horrible, horrible person. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry what? Joey Tribbiani : All right, I should get going, big day a work. Y'know I'm in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out I'm not brain dead. Chandler Bing : So... Joey Tribbiani : Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, it's just not my character that's not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight? Phoebe Buffay : Absolutely! Joey Tribbiani : I'll see you at 8:00. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Oh, what's at 8:00? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys. Ross Geller : Wow, did not know that! May I say how lovely you look today? Phoebe Buffay : Duly noted. Ross Geller : Thanks. Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what? Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Ross Geller : Cousin Frannie's wedding, its tomorrow night. Monica Geller : You were invited?! Ross Geller : No. Monica Geller : My God, I can't believe this! I mean I knew that mom and dad were invited, but I thought that was it! I mean from the ages 7 to 9 Frannie and I were inseparable! Chandler Bing : Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannie's made some new friends. Ross Geller : Well l-look okay, it's probably just a mistake. Let me call Aunt Sheryl okay? Maybe you are invited and the invitation just got lost in the mail. Monica Geller : Yeah, well you call her and tell her that y'know when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadn't have stopped her, there probably wouldn't even be a wedding to go too. Ross Geller : Y'know, she tried to undress me too. Chandler Bing : I used to undress my cousin Glenn. Phoebe Buffay : Joseph Francis Tribbiani are you home yet?!! Rachel Green : Umm, I think he's still out. What's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'll tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. Rachel Green : "Pheebs, can't make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy." Big Daddy? Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's a nickname we were trying out. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Here's Joseph Francis! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note! Phoebe Buffay : So what?! That doesn't give you the right to ditch me! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex! Ross Geller : Phoebe he's right, that is the rule. Phoebe Buffay : I don't accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I can't just be a way to kill time 'til you meet someone better! Y'know boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this is for life! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! I'm so sorry; I had no idea it would bother you this much. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it does. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, can I-can I make it up to you? Huh? I'm sorry. How about uh, dinner tomorrow night?! I'll pay for myself! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you wore me down. Ross Geller : Hey Joe, while you're over there how about another beer for the Ross-A-Tron? Joey Tribbiani : The Ross-Is that back?!! Rachel Green : Hi! Chandler Bing : Another cheesecake came! They delivered it to the wrong address again! Rachel Green : So just bring it back downstairs, what's the problem? Chandler Bing : I can't seem to say goodbye. Rachel Green : Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more? Chandler Bing : Well I've forgotten what it tastes like okay?! Rachel Green : It was cheesecake. It was fine. It had a buttery, crumbly, graham cracker crust, with a very rich yet light, cream cheese filling... Wow! My whole mouth just filled with saliva! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake. Rachel Green : Yeah and we'll drop it off downstairs so that we're not tempted. Chandler Bing : Good idea. Where do you want to go to lunch? Rachel Green : Momma's Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois. Joey Tribbiani : Awww! Mel Torme died. Monica Geller : Joey, that paper's like a year old! Joey Tribbiani : Aw! Does that mean the Sam Goody's sale is over?! Ross Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasn't a mistake. Ahh, there's-there's limited seating in the hall. Monica Geller : Limited seating?! I am just one tiny person! Ross Geller : Well yeah, but she doesn't know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you would've turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling. Monica Geller : Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! That's not the reason she's not inviting me! Ross Geller : Oh what's the big deal?! I wasn't even invited to the ceremony, just the reception. And-and y'know what? If it makes you feel any better, Joan and I will just make an appearance and then, and then we'll-we'll leave early as a sign of protest. Monica Geller : Joan? Ross Geller : Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. She's an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed! Monica Geller : Wait a minute, you got Ross Gellar and guest?! I wasn't invited and you got "and guest?!" Joey Tribbiani : Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Ross's behalf. I-I think the rule applies here y'know, since she has a chance to get on broad back... Ross Geller : Not broad backed! Monica Geller : Wait a minute, y'know, you're bringing me! Ross Geller : What? I can't cancel on Joan! Monica Geller : Why not?! Ross Geller : Bec-Did you not hear me?! She's an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? They're wild! Why do you want to come anyway? Monica Geller : Because! She's my cousin. I mean, we grew up together! We're family y'know? Well that's important to me. Ross Geller : Okay, all right, I'll take you. I'll go call Joan. Joey Tribbiani : Aww that's nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life. Monica Geller : We'll see. Chandler Bing : Well, thank you for lunch. Rachel Green : What? Wait a minute, I didn't pay, I thought you paid! Chandler Bing : So apparently we just don't pay for food anymore. Do you see what I see? Rachel Green : Its still there! Chandler Bing : Mrs. Braverman must be out. Rachel Green : She could be out of town. Maybe she'll be gone for months. Chandler Bing : By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We don't want her to come back to bad cheesecake. Rachel Green : No that could kill her. Chandler Bing : Well, we don't want that. Rachel Green : No so we're protecting her. Chandler Bing : But we should take it. Rachel Green : But we should move quick. Chandler Bing : Why? Rachel Green : Because I think I just heard her moving around in there. Chandler Bing : Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! That's David! Monica Geller : David who? Phoebe Buffay : David the scientist guy, David that I was in love with, David who went to Russia and broke my heart David! David : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you say someone's name enough, they turn around. David : Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : David! What-what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Russia? David : Yeah, I'm just, I'm just in town for a conference. Umm, God you look phenomenal! Phoebe Buffay : Well... Yeah. You look great too. Did you get a haircut? David : Yeah. Well I-I got like thirty of them. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. David : Umm, look I-I-I got a confession to make... Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. David : Uh, I-I-I was hoping to run into you here. I didn't know whether I should call or not, y'know I-I was only in town for a few days. And y'know, I didn't want to intrude on your life or-or anything like that, but I-I really wanted to see you and-but I didn't know if you wanted to see me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, of course I would want to see you. I...I think about you all the time. David : Really? Because I think about you all the time. Phoebe Buffay : Really? David : I mean, there's a statue in Minsk... Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. David : That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-it's actually of Lenin. But, y'know at certain angles... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. David : Umm, anyway...Do you want to have dinner tonight? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Oh no! David : Oh. Uh, what? Phoebe Buffay : I can't. I can't believe I have plans, I can't. Can you do it tomorrow night though? David : Uh no, I have to go in a few hours. I have to be on the red-eye. Well listen, y'know, next time you're in Minsk umm... Monica Geller : Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I have plans with Joey tonight. Monica Geller : So! He'll understand! Phoebe Buffay : No he won't. And that's not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now y'know what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I don't have my principles, I don't have anything! Monica Geller : God, you are so strong. Phoebe Buffay : Or! I should rush through dinner with Joey and I can meet David at 9:00! Rachel Green : Oh my God! That is so good! Chandler Bing : I'm full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, I'll regret it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What do you got there? Rachel Green : Oh it's umm, it's tofu cake. Do you want some? Chandler Bing : What are you doing tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Huh? Uh... Chandler Bing : Dude! Dude! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Sorry. Uh, I've got those plans with Phoebe, why? Chandler Bing : Oh really? Uh, Monica said she had a date at 9:00. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Tonight?! Chandler Bing : That's what Monica said. Joey Tribbiani : After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think she's trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy! Ross Geller : Oh here, I think this is us. Yeah. Monica Geller : Limited seating my ass. Let's see who made the cut. Hi! The Wedding Guest : Hi! Monica Geller : I'm Monica Gellar. Who do you know the bride and groom? The Wedding Guest : Oh, I used to work with Frannie. Monica Geller : Used to work with her. Used to! I'm a relative and I didn't get invited! A blood relative! Blood!! Ross Geller : Stop saying, "Blood" to strangers. Monica Geller : So, how about you huh? How do you know the happy couple? The Second Guest : We went to college with both of them and now we live next door. Monica Geller : Okay, you're fine. The Waiter : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! The Waiter : Are you guys ready? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and water's fine. The Waiter : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. The Waiter : And for you sir? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, this slow roasted salmon, just how slow are we talkin' here? The Waiter : It's uh, it's already been roasted. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, then no. Maybe I should hear those specials again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Joey, we've heard the specials three times! Okay? There's prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. The Waiter : Actually we're out of the lobster ravioli. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, that changes everything! Y'know what Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Joey Tribbiani : You were right before. I mean, friends are so important. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm very wise. I know. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know-y'know what I really want? Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Is to have a long, long talk. Y'know? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up. The Waiter : Any progress? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! I will have the lobster ravioli. Phoebe Buffay : God Joey, this is taking forever! Joey Tribbiani : What's the rush? What? Phoebe Buffay : W-w-I just-it's that-I have-y'know I have-I have an appointment. And it's very important. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa, what is it? Phoebe Buffay : Well... It's a date. Joey Tribbiani : A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldn't schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend! Phoebe Buffay : Come on Joey, don't make me feel badly about this. Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm gonna!! That's right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin' out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, you're doing the same thing! Phoebe Buffay : That-It's not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, he's very special to me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too! Phoebe Buffay : She was? Joey Tribbiani : Well, she graduated from high school! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, whatever. Y'know what? I don't have time have time to convince you because he's only here for four hours, and I'm gonna go see him! Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : What are you still doin' here?! I told you, lobster ravioli! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! David : Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didn't think you were coming. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I wouldn't miss this. David : Well, I'm very glad you're here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're such a gentleman. Come on! We're going to my place! Chandler Bing : Are you eating the cheesecake without me?! Rachel Green : Mm-mmm. Chandler Bing : I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. How can you eat the cheesecake without me?! Rachel Green : Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law! Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I don't trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and I'm takin' it back! Rachel Green : What?! What?! Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Rachel Green : Wait a minute! Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no-no-no, no you don't! Chandler Bing : Oh yes! Oh yes! Rachel Green : You think I trust you with it?! No! We're gonna split it! You take half and I take half! Chandler Bing : Well that's not fair, you've already had some! Rachel Green : What? Oh, well then y'know what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy. Chandler Bing : What do we use to split it? Rachel Green : Okay! All right, pick a half. Chandler Bing : Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh... There's more crust on this side. Y'know? So, maybe if I measured... Rachel Green : Oh for God sake just pick a piece! Chandler Bing : All right, I'll pick that one. Rachel Green : That's also the smaller piece. Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and don't come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. Oh!!!! Chandler Bing : Ohhh! Rachel Green : Okay, you gotta give me some of your piece. Chandler Bing : Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and don't come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my... The Woman : Ross, sweetheart! Ross Geller : Oh, hey Aunt Millie. Aunt Millie : Isn't it a beautiful wedding?! Ross Geller : Yes, yes it is. It's uh... Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?! Monica Geller : Here's Frannie. Hmm, won't she be happy to see me? Ross Geller : Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didn't bring you here so you can ambush her. Monica Geller : Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom. Ross Geller : That bitch! Franny : Monica! What... Monica Geller : Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?! Ross Geller : Hi Frannie, congratulations. Monica Geller : You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! What-Why wouldn't you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! Stuart! Franny : I believe you know my husband. Ross Geller : So it's really a question of who could you have possibly done. David : Oh, I hate this but I-I-I have to go. I-I can't miss my flight. Phoebe Buffay : Are you sure? I'll bet there's another flight to Minsk in like... David : July. Umm, Phoebe Buffay : That's really beautiful. What does it mean? David : Please, clean my beakers. I don't get out of the lab much. Phoebe Buffay : That's good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else. David : Yeah, I... Well I really actually wanted to say umm, that, but um, I figured I probably shouldn't because y'know, I...have to leave. Phoebe Buffay : You're right! You're right. Don't say it. David : I-I do though. Phoebe Buffay : I do too. David : Bye Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now's not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No Pheebs, I'm not gonna yell at you. I just y'know, started thinking about you and David and I...remember how bummed you were the first time he left. And I just... Oh Pheebs, come here. Are you okay? Phoebe Buffay : No I'm not okay. The only guy I've ever been crazy about has gone to Minsk and I may never...I may never see him again. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know you could always visit him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, like they're gonna let me have a passport. Joey Tribbiani : Anything I can do? Whatever you need. Phoebe Buffay : Well-But-Now, if-if you can achieve positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles y'know before he does, then he can come back. Joey Tribbiani : I can give it a shot. Rachel Green : Oh! Yay! Look! There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it! Chandler Bing : Stick to your side! Rachel Green : Hey, come on now! Joey Tribbiani : All right, what are we havin'? Monica Geller : Oh wait I forgot my wrap. Ross Geller : What? Oh, okay. Wait here. Aunt Millie : Hi sweetie! Are you leaving? Ross Geller : Well... Aunt Millie : Give us a kiss. Come on! Come on! Ross Geller : Why?! Why on the lips?! Monica Geller : Ross, when's this comet thing start? Ross Geller : Well, technically it seven billion years ago... #ALL# : Oh no! Oh no! Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Fine, I'll stop! No teaching, okay? We'll just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. Okay? Who's official name is Bapstein-King. #ALL# : Okay! Okay! Phoebe Buffay : There it is! Oh, look at that! Isn't Mother Nature amazing? Chandler Bing : That's a plane! Phoebe Buffay : Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, that's pretty amazing too. Tag Jones : Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here. Rachel Green : No. No, you can't. Tag Jones : What? Rachel Green : Oh I don't-I don't know. Ross Geller : Man, look at all those stars! Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesn't it? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what else makes you wonder? Ross Geller : Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Check out the rack on this chick! Monica Geller : Okay, we've been out here for two hours and we haven't seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandler's getting chilly. Chandler Bing : No, I'm not! Joey Tribbiani : Then why are you wearing Monica's jacket? Chandler Bing : Because it's flattering! Come on Monica! Come on Monica! Rachel Green : Yeah actually, I think we're gonna take off too. We rented a movie. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I won't say, 'no' to a movie! Rachel Green : Uh Pheebs, we just actually kinda wanted to be alone. Phoebe Buffay : Shh! Get me out of here. Rachel Green : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Come here, check this out! Ross Geller : What? Is it the comet? Joey Tribbiani : No! No-no. Look, there's a bug stuck in tar right here. Ross Geller : Joey come-I can't believe-I bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of nature's most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, there's two women dude. Ross Geller : Show me where? Joey Tribbiani : Right-right up here. Ross Geller : Joey where's the pipe that was holding the door open? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! Yeah, I do. Ross Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : What?! All right-Hey! Don't look at me! You're the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet! Ross Geller : It's called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no! No! No! Chandler Bing : Monica! Monica Geller : She's sleeping. Chandler Bing : I know, just quick-quick question, quick question. Which one was Deep Impact and which one was Armageddon? Monica Geller : Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is what's going to happen to you if you wake me up. Chandler Bing : Sorry, I just...can't sleep. Ooh! Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover I'm like... Monica Geller : It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin. Chandler Bing : What?! Ow! Phoebe Buffay : Please don't be a space ship. Please don't be a space ship. Oh thank God! How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can... Smoke Detector : Beep! Phoebe Buffay : Don't interrupt me!! Ross Geller : Rachel!! Monica!! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Ross Geller : I can't believe this!! Joey Tribbiani : All right well, y'know...I guess we know what we have to do to get down. Ross Geller : Yeah, I guess we don't have a choice. Help us! Please help us! We're stuck up on the roof and we can't get down!!! Joey Tribbiani : Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. Ross Geller : I know, I wasn't finished. But don't worry! We're gonna go down the fire escape!! Chandler Bing : Shhhhhhhhh!!! I'm sorry, I thought maybe I'd make some warm milk and it would help me sleep. Monica Geller : With a wok? I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep. Chandler Bing : It got interesting! Damn you Oprah! Monica Geller : Here, let me make the milk, I'm up anyway. Chandler Bing : Hey, y'know what we can do? Y'know, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, y'know like we did when we were first going out. It'd be fun! Monica Geller : Okay that does sound like fun. Chandler Bing : Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh? Monica Geller : The second sister dies?! Chandler Bing : No. No, I-I was, I was talking about the book I was reading. Monica Geller : The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest? Chandler Bing : That's correct. Rachel Green : You wanna go in the bedroom? It's a little more comfortable. Tag Jones : Sure. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan? Tag Jones : If this is your idea of sexy talk? Rachel Green : No seriously, y'know the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them? Tag Jones : What contracts? Rachel Green : Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I don't get. Tag Jones : Like what? Rachel Green : Y'know, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? Tag! I'm serious! This isn't funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today! Tag Jones : Rach, I'm sorry, but you didn't give me any contracts! Rachel Green : Yes I did! And I put a little Post-It on it that said, "Must go out today," and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in the corner because I didn't want to seem to bossy. Tag Jones : I'm telling you, you never gave them to me. Rachel Green : Y'know what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk. Tag Jones : No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk! Rachel Green : Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch! Tag Jones : You wanna go down to the office right now? Rachel Green : No! Come on its late, we're not gonna go down to the office. Tag Jones : Okay I understand. I wouldn't want to be proved wrong either. Rachel Green : Okay get your coat! Oh! When did you unhook this? Nice work! Joey Tribbiani : All right, it won't go down any further. It's stuck. Ross Geller : Ugh. Well, we're just gonna have to jump. Yeah. Now, we're gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there...you go up to the roof and you let me in. Joey Tribbiani : Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?! Ross Geller : Yeah! Oh yeah, you'll be fine! It-it'll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Y'know? But instead of bouncing back up you-you won't. Joey Tribbiani : What if I smack my head on the concrete? Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna lie to you Joey, it's a possibility. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know Ross! I-I tell you what, let's flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right? Ross Geller : Oh, all right. Tails! Can you-can you see what it is? Joey Tribbiani : No. Ross Geller : Okay. Well, you be careful. Joey Tribbiani : What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! I'm not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I can't go if I break my leg. Ross Geller : Well I'm jumping! I have a son! Okay? He won't have a father if-if I die! Joey Tribbiani : Well all right so, it looks like we're even! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do... Well done, Pheebs. What do you want from me?!!!!!!! Monica Geller : Okay, here's your milk. What do you want to talk about? Chandler Bing : What? What? What? Monica Geller : Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? I'm sorry. Here. Tag Jones : Okay! Feel free to look, but I'm telling you those contracts are not on this desk. Rachel Green : Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what I'm talking about! You have to be organized! You've got newspapers! You've got magazines! You got-Ohh! And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever. Tag Jones : It's my sister. Rachel Green : Okay, very cute braces. Anyway y'know what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. Tag Jones : So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the afternoon? Rachel Green : In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right? Tag Jones : It's not here. Rachel Green : Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why don't you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there? Tag Jones : How could I have left them in the copy room? Rachel Green : I don't know Tag! How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay? It's not a perfect world! Just go please. Tag Jones : Fine. Rachel Green : Thank you. Hello? I still don't get it. Monica Geller : Are you still awake? Chandler Bing : Yeah! You? Monica Geller : You do know that was me who just said that right? Hey. As long as we're both up... Chandler Bing : Yeah? I hope you're not thinking about cleaning the living room. Joey Tribbiani : Man, I'm starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both! Ross Geller : Y'know, y'know I'm lookin' and I don't think anyone's home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and y'know explain later. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Really? No one's home? Ross Geller : I don't think so. Hello? When you get in there... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is where you and I part ways. Noisy bitch! Monica Geller : What?! What are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Do you know what just happened? Monica Geller : Yeah. We-we had sex and then we fell asleep. Chandler Bing : No. We were in the middle of sex...and you fell asleep. Monica Geller : Nooo! No, that's not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! Chandler Bing : Monica? Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right! Monica Geller : Okay. Okay, I'm ready. Come on big fella! Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Give me the good stuff. Chandler Bing : Yeah! No! No! No! Don't fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. And I probably won't spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm up! I'm up! Rachel Green : Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh... ...fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me? Tag Jones : Still no luck. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check all the drawers! Tag Jones : Do you want me to check again? Rachel Green : Well yeah, I wish that you would. Well, no it's not in there! How about that drawer? Tag Jones : Well, it's not out here. Is there any chance it could be in your office? Rachel Green : Y'know, I don't-I don't know. Let me, let me check. Tag Jones : Any luck? Rachel Green : Can I see you in my office for a minute? Tag Jones : Yeah? You found them!! Y'know what? I'm not even going to gloat. I'm just really relived this whole thing is over. Rachel Green : You put these on my desk! Tag Jones : I did not! Rachel Green : Oh really? So you're saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! Tag Jones : How did you know they were in my bottom drawer? Rachel Green : I am so hot for you right now. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! How did you get back here?! A Disembodied Voice : Phoebe Buffay?! Phoebe Buffay : Fire alarm? Oh! Hi, officer-fireman, can-can I help you? The Fireman : We found your fire alarm in the trash chute. Phoebe Buffay : That's not mine. The Fireman : Yes it is. Phoebe Buffay : How do you know? The Fireman : The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, don't wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica." Phoebe Buffay : Okay do you-Okay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America! The Fireman : Please reattach this, it's against the law to disconnect them. Phoebe Buffay : Fine! But please God; tell me how to stop them from going off! The Fireman : There's a reset button under the plastic cover. Phoebe Buffay : There's a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! There's a reset button! My God! Why didn't I see that! Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? Oh here it is! Oh! Ohh, God! Ross Geller : Okay, do-do you have a good grip? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Okay, I'm going to start climb down you now. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Just hurry up! Ross Geller : Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so we're face to face or-or should I climb down your back so we're-we're butt to face. Joey Tribbiani : I think face to face. Ross Geller : I would say that. Joey Tribbiani : Face to face, yeah! Ross Geller : Okay, here I go. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my... How much do you weigh Ross?! Ross Geller : I prefer not to answer that right now, I'm still carrying a little holiday weight. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, when we talked about face to face, I don't think we thought it all the way through. Ross Geller : So what do you want me to do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, just shimmy down me and drop! Ross Geller : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Ross Geller : M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while! Ross Geller : It's still looks pretty far! Joey Tribbiani : It's not that far! Just drop! Ross Geller : Do not rush me!! Joey Tribbiani : Ross, you should know that my pants are startin' to come down and I'm not wearing any underwear! Ross Geller : Oww!! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when I-Ooh, a quarter! Monica Geller : That really was some of your best work. Chandler Bing : Hm-hmm, I told you! I can't believe that I've only got two hours before I call in sick for work. Monica Geller : I have to be up in seven minutes. Chandler Bing : Well, you're not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes... Monica Geller : Really?! Chandler Bing : Do you wanna? Monica Geller : Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and I'll get the furniture polish! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Rachel Green : Well, y'know I was thinking of moving the couch over here. Joey Tribbiani : Why would you want to do that? Rachel Green : So that there will be a decent place for me to sit. Joey Tribbiani : Rach, there is a decent place to... Rachel Green : And your lap does not count! Okay? Come on help me move this. Joey Tribbiani : No. No. No. Rachel Green : No? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rosita does not move. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, Rosita? As in... Joey Tribbiani : As in Rosita does not move. Rachel Green : Joey, it's just a chair! What's the big deal? Joey Tribbiani : The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and it's at the perfect angle so you don't get any glare coming of off Stevie. Rachel Green : Stevie the TV? Joey Tribbiani : Is there a problem? Rachel Green : No! Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! You bitch! Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what's weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people you're gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." That's weird isn't it? Chandler Bing : Couldn't I just say, "This is Ross?" Ross Geller : Sure, do whatever you want. Monica Geller : Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section... Ross Geller : Yeah? Monica Geller : Look at this. Ross Geller : Oh, it looks like mom and dad's house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is...Oh my God!! Phoebe Buffay : What? What happened to the window in the attic?! Monica Geller : I can't believe mom and dad are selling the house! Ross Geller : I can't believe they-they didn't even tell us! Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe I still don't know what happened to the window in the attic! Ross Geller : Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! Yes we're surprised! Who did you leave a message with? Chandler Bing : Sorry! Rachel Green : Joey, Joey I am so sorry. Joey Tribbiani : I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said don't, and I did it anyway and her head fell off? Rachel Green : Okay, come on-Joey, I'll buy you a new one! All right? We'll go down to the store right now and we'll-we'll get you a new chair. Joey Tribbiani : She's not even cold yet! Rachel Green : But don't you think Rosita would've wanted you to move on? I mean y'know, she did always put...your comfort first. Joey Tribbiani : That's true. Rachel Green : Okay? You ready? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I... I don't want Stevie to see her like this. Ross Geller : I can't believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some stranger's gonna be living in my room. Monica Geller : Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, it's time the velvet ropes came down. Ross Geller : They kept your room for a while. Monica Geller : Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria's Secret catalogues, not a gym! Ross Geller : Come on, you know they love you. Monica Geller : As much as they love you? Ross Geller : I was their first born! They thought she was barren! It's not my fault. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, I hate this year! Ross Geller : What's wrong with this year? Phoebe Buffay : Well okay, it's already February and I've only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world! Monica Geller : That was me and Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's right! Ross Geller : Hey, y'know if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing. Monica Geller : Oh that's a great idea. You're really good on the phone. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Y'know, I probably wouldn't have to say spank as much. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, like you never called! Supervisor : So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office. Supervisor : Why don't we do a trial run. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay. Umm, all right. Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? Supervisor : I'm the supply manager. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs. Supervisor : We don't need any toner. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay, well I'm sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. Yeah you're right, this is easy. Supervisor : Okay, what was wrong with that call? Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, all right...um, no offense, but you were kind of rude. Supervisor : They're always going to tell you they don't need toner, but that's okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Supervisor : So, I think you're ready to sell toner, do you have any last questions? Phoebe Buffay : No. Oh wait yes! I do, I do have one question. What is toner? Chandler Bing : Joey! Joe! Full bag. Beer's still cold. Something terrible must've happened here! Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! Stevie, I was never here! Ross Geller : Dad? Jack Geller : I'm here! Ross Geller : Hey! Jack Geller : Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work. Ross Geller : Dad, we-we can't believe you're selling the house. Jack Geller : Well, it's time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling. Ross Geller : Let's grab our stuff and get the hell out of here. Jack Geller : I'm sorry we can't store your childhood things anymore. Monica Geller : Oh, that's okay, I can't wait to see everything again! All of the memories... Jack Geller : Well, I don't know what's in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic. Monica Geller : I used to love to play restaurant. Ross Geller : Yeah, not as much as you used to love to play uncooked batter eater. Monica Geller : Hey, it is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies! Jack Geller : So, I think you're boxes are over here. Ross Geller : Wow! Great! Wait, dad who-who's cigarettes are these? Jack Geller : I don't know. They-they must be your mother's, but please, please don't ask her. I'll throw these away. Ross Geller : Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym... Oooh, my rock polisher! Jack Geller : Oh look, look there's your old makeup kit! Ross Geller : It's a clown kit! Clown kit! Jack Geller : Well, the white seems to be untouched. Uh-oh. Ross Geller : What? Jack Geller : Y'know how the garage floods every Spring? Ross Geller : How are you ever going to sell this place? Jack Geller : I think I accidentally used Monica's boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche. Ross Geller : Oh no. Dad! Dad! What... Oh God...everything's ruined! Dad, she's gonna be crushed! Jack Geller : You don't secretly smoke do you? Ross Geller : No! Jack Geller : So it's just your mother then. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? Earl, thanks. Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies I'd like to talk to you about your toner needs. Earl : I don't need any toner. Phoebe Buffay : I'm hearing what you're saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner. Earl : Not me. Phoebe Buffay : May I ask why? Earl : You wanna know why. You wanna know why? Phoebe Buffay : I surely do! Earl : Okay, I don't need any toner because I'm going to kill myself. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, is-is that because you're out of toner? Earl : Okay, so...no toner today. Thanks anyway, bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : No-no wait-wait! I can't just let you hang up! Just please talk to me. Earl : Well...I Only Have One Thing To Do Today. I guess I could push it back. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Now, why do you want to kill yourself? Earl : It's just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist! Phoebe Buffay : Chandler? Earl : I-I'm sorry? Phoebe Buffay : No look, I-I'm sure that people know you exist! Earl : Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. I've been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no one's even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. Hey everybody! Uh, I'm gonna kill myself! I'll get back to ya. I got nothing. Wait. Uh, hey Marge! Ehh, nothing. Nothing. Chandler Bing : My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! Rachel Green : You will like it! Joey Tribbiani : No I won't. Rachel Green : You don't even know! Joey Tribbiani : Because, I know what I like and what I don't like! It's not the same thing! Rachel Green : Well look, if you don't like this... Joey Tribbiani : I don't know why you say that so soon. Rachel Green : Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, y'know what I was thinking? We could name her Francette. Joey Tribbiani : Francette? What is she? A couch? Joey Tribbiani : Poor thing. Cut down in her prime. Rachel Green : Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Y'know, start the heeling process? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I guess you're right. Maybe, maybe I'll take her down to the incinerator. It's gonna be so said, and kinda cool. She's heeled! Rachel Green : That's weird. Joey Tribbiani : No it's not weird, it's a miracle! Rachel Green : It's not a miracle Joey! I'm sure there's some explanation. Joey Tribbiani : Oh there is! If you want something enough and your heart is pure, wondrous things can happen! Rachel Green : Joey, I really don't... Joey Tribbiani : Can you tell me how this happened? Rachel Green : Well no. Joey Tribbiani : Miracle! Rachel Green : No, y'know what? Maybe somebody came in here and fixed it! Or something! Joey Tribbiani : Someone like an...angel? Rachel Green : That's right Joey, the chair angel came in and heeled your chair. Joey Tribbiani : Get your non-believer ass outta my chair! Jack Geller : Well, she'll understand right? It's not like I did it on purpose. Ross Geller : Dad that won't matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her. Jack Geller : Oh my God, does she really thinks that? Ross Geller : Well, can you blame her? Jack Geller : Well I don't know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could... Ross Geller : Dad, dad I don't want to hear about it. Jack Geller : Really? Ross Geller : Well, not right now. Okay look, Monica came here for some memories and damnit, we're gonna give her some! Okay, grab...grab some empty boxes. Okay? We'll-we'll take stuff from mine and whatever we can pass off as hers we'll-we'll put 'em in their. Jack Geller : Great! Ross Geller : Like uh y'know like this! This! She-she could've made this! Jack Geller : Sure! Ross Geller : Right? And this! She-she could've won this! Jack Geller : This could've been hers! Ross Geller : Sure! Ooh-ooh, what about this? Jack Geller : Your make-up kit? I'd feel better. Rachel Green : I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, me too. Rachel Green : Hey, how's...how's the uh, miracle chair? Joey Tribbiani : Fine. Rachel Green : Yeah? Wow! Y'know, that this thing has speakers in the headrest! Joey Tribbiani : No. Really? Rachel Green : Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio! Joey Tribbiani : My chair heels itself. Phoebe Buffay : Earl, you're not hearing me! All I'm saying is that you're not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! Guy : Hey guy! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you. Earl : No! That's just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! He's the worst! I'd like to take him with me! Phoebe Buffay : All right so Earl, let's just forget about the people at the office, okay? There-there's gotta be someone else in your life worth sticking around for! What about-what about your family, your friends, or maybe your girlfriend? Earl : Yeah! Right! Phoebe Buffay : Oh sorry, boyfriend! Earl : Oh no. Phoebe Buffay : No, whatever! Anything! The "Hey Guy" Guy : Hey guy! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, he's gotta go. Earl : Okay, I should, I should probably be getting back to my thing now. See ya. Phoebe Buffay : No! I'm not finished yet! Don't! Don't you dare hang up on me!!! Supervisor : The new girl's good. Monica Geller : Hey guys! Hey! Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days. Jack Geller : That's a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days! Ross Geller : Yeah! Yeah! Oh, this will make a great memory. Monica Geller : Okay. So, which boxes are mine? Ross Geller : Well, these. These are yours right here. Monica Geller : Okay. Oh! A coloring book! Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book. Monica Geller : Really? Wow! It looks like I had some trouble staying inside the lines. Ross Geller : Nu-uh! Monica Geller : Oh, an old glove? Jack Geller : Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove. Monica Geller : Wow! Look At This! I Can'T Believe I Even Fit Into This Shirt! Oh, this is yours. Ross Geller : Oh, I don't know how that got in there. Monica Geller : This isn't mine. Hey, this isn't, this isn't my stuff! Ugh, Ross! These are your boxes! Where are my boxes? Ross Geller : Umm, your boxes are umm... Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : Dad? Jack Geller : Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. I'm sorry. Monica Geller : Just mine? Jack Geller : I'm afraid so. Monica Geller : So why-why wasn't Ross's stuff ruined? And if you say the words medical marvel I'm going to Easy Bake your head! Jack Geller : Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche. Monica Geller : So wait, Ross's stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!! Jack Geller : There was also leaves and guk and stuff. Monica Geller : I can't believe this! Jack Geller : Screw it! I'm having one. Rachel Green : Hey Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey! Rachel Green : How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'd love to but I've tried that so many times they won't even let me in the store anymore. Rachel Green : Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment? Chandler Bing : Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year? Rachel Green : I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. Chandler Bing : That's awesome! That's great! What made you do it?! Rachel Green : Well, it's a long story, but umm I broke Joey's chair... Chandler Bing : Whoa-whoa-whoa! You broke Joey's chair? Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : I thought I broke Joey's chair! That's why I replaced it with mine! Rachel Green : Ohhhhh. That's how it got fixed! Chandler Bing : Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it? Rachel Green : Noo! Angels. Chandler Bing : I'm gettin' my chair back! Rachel Green : What? Wh-hey! Joey Tribbiani : Well, it looks like it wasn't heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! Chandler Bing : Joey you broke my chair!! Joey Tribbiani : Your chair?! Rachel Green : Yeah, he thought he broke your chair so he switched the chairs! Joey Tribbiani : So, there was no miracle?! Rachel Green : No Joe, no miracle. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. I'm so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life. Rachel Green : Uh-huh! Nice try, but you don't get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! No I take that back! Chandler Bing : I think I should get the chair! Joey Tribbiani : How do you figure? Chandler Bing : Because you broke a chair and you broke a chair! The only one around here that hasn't broke a chair, is me! Rachel Green : No-no-no! This chair's not going anywhere. Chandler Bing : Well, where's the logic in that?! Rachel Green : The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half! Chandler Bing : So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing! Joey Tribbiani : That's right! Chandler Bing : What are you guys? Like a gang or something?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! We are! Rachel Green : We're the Cobras! Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me! Can you tell me where I can find Earl? He's the supply manager around here. Marge : Sorry, I don't know any Earl. Earl : I'm right here!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Earl! I'm Phoebe. Earl : Phoebe? The lady who sells toner? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, look it, you-you can't kill yourself. Earl : Look, um I really appreciate your coming down... Phoebe Buffay : No-no I can't! I can't let you do it! Earl : Why?! Phoebe Buffay : Because it was fate that made me call you today! Earl : I thought it was toner. Phoebe Buffay : No! Think about it okay? This isn't even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, you're my first call! And-and somebody else might've hung up on you, but I wouldn't do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself. Earl : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Earl : How? Phoebe Buffay : I'm not gonna give you tips! Look don't you see that this-this...this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this. Earl : Couldn't it just be a coincidence? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's fate! Earl : It doesn't really seem like enough to be fate. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Well umm, okay here's a weird thing. My mother was also a supply manager. Earl : I'm actually the office manager. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl. Earl : Well, was there anything else?! Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Umm, where are you from? Earl : Philadelphia. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! So was she! Oh, I've got-I've got goose bumps. Earl : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Well, y'know I'm wearing layers and it's warm. Earl : Yeah-yeah. Phoebe Buffay : But if-no look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot! Earl : Did you hear that?! I don't need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! I really wished they'd care just a little bit though. Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, I don't-I don't think it's you. This is a freaky place. Hey! Guys! Oh no, it's you. Earl : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I don't even know what it is! Ohh, it's still soft. What do you think this is? Ross Geller : All right. I think it was a mouse. Jack Geller : How are you honey? Monica Geller : How do you think I am?! You've wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face! Jack Geller : Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, I'm sorry about everything that happened and I'd probably never be able to make it up to you, but here's a start. Monica Geller : What's this? Jack Geller : It's the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : What?!!! Jack Geller : I've been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mother's right, I do look like an ass. Monica Geller : Wait, you're giving me your Porsche, you're kidding me right?! Ross Geller : Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?! Jack Geller : Why don't we take it for a spin? Monica Geller : All right! Ross Geller : Well, what about me?! I'm a medical marvel!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Rachel Green : Ahhhh.... Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh...... Eh? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Hey guys! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Do you guys know what happened to Chandler's barca lounger? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, Joey broke it. Had to get rid of it. Monica Geller : Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca lounger's gone?! This is the best day ever! Ross Geller : Happy birthday!!! Monica Geller : Happy birthday!!! #ALL# : Rach! Come on! Rach! Monica Geller : It's your birthday! Tag Jones : Hey. Chandler Bing : She's not as pretty as she was when she was 29. Tag Jones : Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you don't use the words old or downhill or they still look pretty damn good. Joey Tribbiani : They do! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast! Monica Geller : Chocolate-chip pancakes! Ross Geller : We've got presents! Rachel Green : Good ones? Monica Geller : They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago. Rachel Green : Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29? Joey Tribbiani : Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal. Ross Geller : Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty? Joey Tribbiani : Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! Rachel Green : Y'know, I'm still 29 in Guam. Ross Geller : Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is? Rachel Green : Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this? Chandler Bing : No Rach, it's not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasn't that much fun. Joey Tribbiani : And now Chandler! We're all gettin' so old! Why are you doing this to us?! Monica Geller : Rach, you're in a great place in your life. Come on, you've got a great job! Good friends... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you're roommate is a soap opera star. Rachel Green : Look, y'know I know my life's going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people who've accomplished so many other goals by the time they're thirty. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you shouldn't compare yourself to me. #ALL# : Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on! Rachel Green : There you go! Phoebe Buffay : I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! That's it!! That's everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. Rachel Green : Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty! Tag Jones : Come on, let's have some fun. Huh? What do you want to do today? Rachel Green : Nothing. I don't want to do anything. Monica Geller : Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross. Ross Geller : Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child! Ross Geller : How hot do I look in this, huh?! Chandler Bing : Ross, a sports car? Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there? Ross Geller : That's not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's the horsepower on this thing? Ross Geller : I don't know, but-but look how shiny! Monica Geller : I can't believe you bought this. Rachel Green : Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? I know it's really shallow, but a part of me wants him again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well get in line missy. So, can I have a ride stud? Ross Geller : Hop in. Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life. Ross Geller : Damnit! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, who's next? Rachel Green : Y'know what? I am going to do something today. I'm not just gonna sit around like some old lady. I'm gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! 'Cause y'know that hurts. Rachel Green : So what?! Y'know what? The way I see it--Ow! Son of a bitch!! Tag Jones : Look Rachel, I know what you're going through. I'm totally freaked about turning 25. Rachel Green : Get out, get out of my apartment. Monica Geller : All right Rach, for what it's worth, I think that you're doing great. I mean y'know let's face it, no one handles this well. Phoebe Buffay : Least of all you. Tag Jones : Why? What you'd do? Monica Geller : Weren't you asked to leave sonny? Chandler Bing : Would you put that back on?! Monica's gonna be here any minute! Joey Tribbiani : But it hurt's my Joey's Apple. Chandler Bing : Okay, for the last time. It's not named for each individual man. Judy Geller : You've done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely. Chandler Bing : Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I can't believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! And you! I can't believe that you would have a tux that's thirty years old! Jack Geller : It's older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo. Chandler Bing : Ohh! Rachel Green : Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! She's coming! Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! Jack Geller : Crap. Chandler Bing : Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out what's going on. Monica Geller : Heyyy!! You got the door open!! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey are you drunk? Monica Geller : Nooo! Okay. Whoa! Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning thirty. So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. I wanna puke on you later! Chandler Bing : Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents! Monica Geller : Noo!!! Chandler Bing : Yes! Monica Geller : Noo!! Chandler Bing : Yes!! Monica Geller : Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! That they know of. Chandler Bing : Okay, here's the thing. We're gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that you're drunk. Monica Geller : Really?! You promise? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'll take care of it. Monica Geller : Okay. I love you so much. Chandler Bing : Okay we have to do something about your breath. Monica Geller : What about your breath?! Chandler Bing : That's still yours. Okay, now remember it's a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised. Monica Geller : Okay. I can do that. Chandler Bing : Okay. #ALL# : Surprise!!! Ross Geller : Okay, forward. Forward-Stop! Okay, back-Stop! Okay, forward-Stop! Stop! Stop! Monica Geller : Ross, just forget about it. This guy's got you totally wedged in. Woman : Is this yours? Joey Tribbiani : Well actually... Ross Geller : No-no-no! It's mine! It's-it's mine. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you soooo need this car. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Okay, I'm gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. Haul ass!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! It's for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth! Ursula Buffay : Right, why do you keep saying that? Phoebe Buffay : Because it's our thirtieth birthday. Ursula Buffay : Yeah, no we're not thirty. We're 31. Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Wait! Ursula Buffay : Oh, it's you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. What?! Ursula Buffay : Yeah, we're not thirty, we're 31. Phoebe Buffay : Nu-uh! Ursula Buffay : Yea-huh! That's what is says on my birth certificate. Phoebe Buffay : You have your birth certificate? Ursula Buffay : Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died. Phoebe Buffay : Our mom. Ursula Buffay : Right! Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Do you have my birth certificate? Ursula Buffay : No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Oh my God, we are 31. Ursula Buffay : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I just lost a whole year of my life. Ursula Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Your middle name is Pamela? Ursula Buffay : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is? Ursula Buffay : Yes! Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : That's my first name. Ursula Buffay : Right, okay, then no. Chandler Bing : Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress. Monica Geller : Yay! Chandler Bing : See? Here we go. Jack Geller : Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! Judy Geller : Don't get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow. Monica Geller : Paul! Chandler Bing : Phil. Monica Geller : Phil! Chandler Bing : Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. Okay, you're doing great. You're doing great. You're doing fine. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Monica's a little drunk. Phoebe Buffay : Yay! I love drunk Monica! Monica Geller : Awwwww... Chandler Bing : Go change! She doesn't want her parents to know she's drunk. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! All right! All right. Here's what we'll do, I'll get twice as drunk as Monica and then no one's will even notice her. Rachel Green : What's-what's going on? Phil's really pissed! Chandler Bing : Monica's wasted. Ross Geller : Maybe that will liven up this party. Chandler Bing : Okay, will you just go help her change please! Rachel Green : Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Tag Jones : This one's from me. Rachel Green : Ahh! Tag Jones : It wasn't on your list, but hopefully you'll think it's really fun. Rachel Green : A scooter! Ross Geller : Stick to the list. Always stick to the list. Rachel Green : No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. Chandler Bing : Okay, open ours next. Open ours next! Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Now that you're a couple, we don't get two presents from you guys? Chandler Bing : For my last birthday you gave me a hug! Okay, read the card! Read the card! Rachel Green : Okay. Happy birthday Grandma! It's better to be over the hill then buried under it. All our love Monica and Chandler. That's funny, yeah! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no! That was the joke! Rachel Green : No, I know! I get it! It's funny! Chandler Bing : No, because you're not a grandmother! Rachel Green : No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I don't have any of those things. That's why it's so funny. Monica Geller : All you had to do was buy the card! Ross Geller : Hey! Look who's back! It's the birthday girl! How's the birthday girl feeling? Rachel Green : Well, I feel fine, but I think you're bumming out the rest of the kids. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Okay! Y'know what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids... Phoebe Buffay : Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother. Rachel Green : As I was saying... I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time I'm 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan! Phoebe Buffay : If you could do that, I'd marry the hippity-hop. Rachel Green : So, if I wanna have my kid when I'm 35, I don't have to get pregnant until I'm 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant... Monica Geller : Really! That long?! Look all you want, it's happening! Rachel Green : No, so I don't have to get married until I'm 33! That's three years, that's three whole years-Oh, wait a minute though. I'll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I'd like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged... Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I'm thirty. Ross Geller : Which is fine! Because you just turned--twenty-eight! Rachel Green : No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry! Joey Tribbiani : Will you quit hoggin' it! Rachel Green : I'm telling you it's like watching Bambi learn how to walk. Ross Geller : You're drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe I'm a little drunk. Chandler Bing : Oh that's great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? There we go. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Are those crab cakes? Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready? Chandler Bing : How are you feeling? Monica Geller : You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! Ross Geller : I really wish that you wouldn't. Chandler Bing : Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and don't talk to anyone. Phoebe Buffay : Speech! Speech! Let's hear from the birthday girl! Huh? Chandler Bing : Pheebs!! Phoebe Buffay : Don't you see? Everyone's looking at me! The plan's working! I didn't even have to take off my top yet! Judy Geller : Speech! Come on Monica! Ross Geller : Come on! #ALL# : Come on! Speech! Jack Geller : Hey Chandler, you can't keep your hands off her for one second! Judy Geller : Oh-ho, I think it's nice. Chandler Bing : I think it's necessary. Monica Geller : I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends... Phoebe Buffay : Wooo!! Hoo!! Monica Geller : I really like to say that I'm-um... Y'know what I'd really like to say? I'm drunk!! That's right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! And guess what! I've been drunk before! And I've smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! It's all okay. It's okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. Phoebe Buffay : Okay quick, help me get this off! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Phoebe Buffay : I lost a whole year! I can't believe it! This is so unfair! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't know Pheebs. It'll be okay. Phoebe Buffay : Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31? Joey Tribbiani : That's not gonna happen. No. Because we have a new deal! Phoebe Buffay : Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I...I haven't done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31! Joey Tribbiani : Like what? Phoebe Buffay : Like okay I-I-I, I haven't met any Portuguese people! I, I haven't had the perfect kiss! And I haven't been to sniper's school! Monica Geller : Phoebe, y'know why don't we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake? Phoebe Buffay : No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? I'll see you guys later. Thanks. Rachel Green : Hey. Oh, poor Pheebs. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know what you guys? I think I'm gonna go walk her home. Monica Geller : Oh man! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : He's gonna eat the cake! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! Wait up! Listen uh, close your eyes. Maybe that's one thing you can cross off your list. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, and plus I'm 1/16th Portuguese. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ross Geller : Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up...and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? We're gonna lift the car...and slide it out. Lift and slide! Rachel Green : Ross, I really don't think... Ross Geller : Lift!! And slide! Chandler Bing : Okay, here we go. Ross Geller : All right everyone, lift! And slide!! Rachel Green : Hey Joey, can I... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started! Rachel Green : Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside? Rachel Green : Whatever! Okay, I'm not your mother. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Rachel Green : Not in the street!! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Rachel Green : Hi. Tag Jones : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Tag Jones : How are you doing? Are you feeling any better? Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm doing okay. I'm um...let's talk. Tag Jones : Okay. Rachel Green : Umm... Tag Jones : What's up? Rachel Green : Ohh Tag, umm...you're such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I don't-I don't... Tag Jones : Wait! I think I see where you're going, but before you say anything else, can I just say one more thing? Rachel Green : Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think I'm past the point where I think I can y'know, just have fun. Tag Jones : Rachel, don't do this. This is just because you're turning thirty. Rachel Green : Yeah, it is! But you're just a kid! I mean you're 25! Tag Jones : Twenty-four actually. Rachel Green : Oh God! Y'know what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if I'm wishin' for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger. Tag Jones : Me too. Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Hey! How'd it go? Rachel Green : Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year? Phoebe Buffay : You did the right thing. Joey Tribbiani : I don't like this anymore. Chandler Bing : Well, here we are, just a bunch of thirty year olds. Ross Geller : God, do you realize in ten years we're gonna be 40? Joey Tribbiani : Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! Ross Geller : Yes! My baby's finally free! Joey Tribbiani : All-all right! Start it up! Let's go! Ross Geller : Woohoo! The Man In The Sportscar : How hot are we? Ross Geller : You wanna buy a car? Joey Tribbiani : No. Monica Geller : I'm glad you're here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony. Rachel Green : Ohh... Ross Geller : What's the matter? You okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, it's just y'know... Chandler Bing : Monica said wedding. Monica Geller : Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony. Rachel Green : Oh! I would love to read a poem. Chandler Bing : Do you think you could get through a poem? Rachel Green : It'll be a short one. Monica Geller : Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading. Rachel Green : Ohhh... Ross Geller : Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too. Chandler Bing : Too? Ross Geller : Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys. Monica Geller : Do you mind telling us what it is? Ross Geller : Sorry, I'm kinda keeping this one on the Q.T. Chandler Bing : Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and... Monica Geller : What is DOOL? Joey Tribbiani : Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, you're not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!! #ALL# : Oh!! Chandler Bing : That's great! Joey Tribbiani : And-and-and not only that, I'm gettin' a new brain!! Chandler Bing : So great things are happening at work and in your personal life! Rachel Green : Wait, what do you mean you're getting a new brain? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, they're killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body. Ross Geller : What? A brain transplant?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes, it's a highly controversial procedure. Ross Geller : It's ridiculous! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I think it's ridiculous that you haven't had sex in three and a half months. Ross Geller : It's winter, they are fewer people on the street. Monica Geller : Who are they killing off? Joey Tribbiani : Uh Cecilia Monroe, she plays Jessica Lockhart. Monica Geller : Noo!! Monica Geller : She's my favorite character on DOOL. Joey Tribbiani : Nice. Rachel Green : She is so good at throwing drinks in people's faces, I mean I don't think I've ever seen her finish a beverage. Monica Geller : And the way she slaps all the time! Rachel Green : Oh! Monica Geller : Wouldn't you love to do it just once?! Chandler Bing : Don't do it. Rachel Green : Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, tell me about it. And she's been on the show forever, it's gonna be really hard to fill her shoes. Ross Geller : Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, but in Drake Remoray's body. Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist! Phoebe Buffay : Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay? Rachel Green : Well, I'd have to say gay. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Why? Rachel Green : Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. Rachel Green : Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. Rachel Green : All right, straight, and not subtle. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, he left his cell phone. Rachel Green : Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found. Phoebe Buffay : Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing. Rachel Green : What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. Rachel Green : What? Wait! Why...why do you get the story? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long. Rachel Green : Phoebe, you had a date three days ago. Phoebe Buffay : That wasn't a date! That was, that was just friends getting together... having sex. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone. Phoebe Buffay : No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago. Rachel Green : Yeah! And until now, I didn't think I'd love again. Phoebe Buffay : Nice try. Rachel Green : Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Rachel Green : Well umm, maybe we could uhh... Ah-ha! Too slow!! Phoebe Buffay : Ah-ha! Too cocky! Dina : I'm going to keep dating him Mother, and there's nothing you can do about it! Jessica Lockhart : Oh yes there is! Dina : What are you going to do? Kill him? Like you did with Charles?! Jessica Lockhart : That was an accident! And so were you. Dina : Well, at least I'm not a murderer! Jessica Lockhart : Oh, my baby! The Director : Cut! Joey Tribbiani : That was a great scene! And-and-and that slap looks so real! How do you do that? Cecilia : Oh, just years of experience. Dina : Can I get some ice here?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are. Cecilia : You're not the fan who's dying are you? Joey Tribbiani : Say what? Cecilia : I'm supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but that's not supposed to be until later! Joey Tribbiani : No. No, I'm Joey Tribbiani; we did a scene together yesterday. I-I'm the guy in the coma! Cecilia : Oh that was a real person?! Joey Tribbiani : An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since I'm getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me... Cecilia : I-I-I'm leaving the show? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Why? Did you hear something? Cecilia : Who told you that? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, one of the writers. Cecilia : Which one? Was it bald or was it tall? Joey Tribbiani : Umm... Cecilia : Y'know what? It doesn't matter! Because it is not true! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Cecilia : And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that I've been playing for 20 years-I'll give you a tip! Joey Tribbiani : Ms. Monroe... Oh there you go. Rachel Green : No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; that's not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why don't we, why don't we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone. Phoebe Buffay : Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone. Rachel Green : I don't think so. Phoebe Buffay : Fine all right, but I'd bet you'd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet. Rachel Green : All right, first name on the speed dial is mom. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, I lost my mom to suicide. Rachel Green : Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin. Phoebe Buffay : Did I use that already today? I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Yes okay. Well now see this isn't telling us anything. Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hat's a steak house! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, a meat eater. Fine, that's one for you. Rachel Green : Oh, I win! He's got Barney's on his speed dial. Phoebe Buffay : So you don't know that's Barney's the store! That can be y'know his friend's house, or a bar. Who has Barney's the store on their speed dial? Rachel Green : His new girlfriend! Monica Geller : What is that? Chandler Bing : I think it's the dying cat parade. Monica Geller : It sounds like it's coming from across the street. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Y'know that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "You're half Scottish right?" Monica Geller : Nooo!! Chandler Bing : Yes!! Monica Geller : No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?! Chandler Bing : Why is your family Ross?! Monica Geller : He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! It's not even a song! Chandler Bing : If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang. Rachel Green : Hi Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Rachel Green : How are ya? Phoebe Buffay : Good. Rachel Green : Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guy's cell phone? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, now you lost me. Rachel Green : You stole the phone! Phoebe Buffay : No I didn't! Rachel Green : No? So you're saying that if I called it, it wouldn't ring? Phoebe Buffay : No. Rachel Green : Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. Oh, it does work! Rachel Green : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : That is a different phone. Rachel Green : Oh is it?! Uhh, hello? Yes hi, is Rachel there? Yes she is, just one moment please. It's for me! Phoebe Buffay : That is damning evidence. Rachel Green : Oh my God! I bet that's him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh Hello? Or should I be Hi! It's Rach... Would you stop doing that?! Phoebe Buffay : Hello? Yes, I'm the one who found your phone. Rachel Green : Phoebe! You can't do th... Phoebe Buffay : Shhh! I'm on a call! Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. It's umm, it's umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe y'know after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. Okay, well okay I'll see you then. Bye. Rachel Green : You do know that I will be here when he comes over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh? And how will you know what time to come over? Rachel Green : You just said it! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just...be alone y'know to think about my mom and her suicide. Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : What?! That's the first time today! Rachel Green : Ohh! Joey Tribbiani : So you like the nachos uh? Myself I'm partial to... Dina : I'm 16. Joey Tribbiani : See you in 2003. Cecilia : You're absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They don't know exactly when it's going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and that's it. Joey Tribbiani : I'm so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show. Cecilia : Yeah, thanks. Joey Tribbiani : No I mean it! I can't believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much! Cecilia : Oh you're right. Thank you! What's your name again? Joey Tribbiani : Joey. Cecilia : Joey, well thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, excuse me. The Writer : It wasn't my decision! Cecilia : I'm having a conversation here! You were saying? Joey Tribbiani : Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-l-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, I'm really nervous about-about being you. Y'know if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Y'know? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please? Cecilia : All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's great! Oh thank you so much! Cecilia : You're so welcome. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Now, I've been watching some tapes, how's this? "Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again! Ever!!" Cecilia : Is that supposed to be me? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Cecilia : Yeah but Jessica doesn't have an English accent. Joey Tribbiani : I can do an English accent?! That baby's going on my resume! Chandler Bing : Well, I feel like a snack! Monica Geller : Do you want some shortbread? Eh that's Scottish like you are. Chandler Bing : Oh no thanks. I don't like any thing from my Scottish heritage. Ross Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Well it's just my entire family was run out of Scotland by...Vikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. Ross Geller : Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots. Monica Geller : No! No-no they're not. They're still very angry! But y'know Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet. Ross Geller : Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more... Monica Geller : You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!! Ross Geller : How did you know about that?! Chandler Bing : We heard you play all the way from your apartment! Ross Geller : Were you the ones called the cops?! Chandler Bing : That's not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just don't feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding. Ross Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because we hate them. Ross Geller : Come on that's not fair! I mean you haven't even heard me play! Chandler Bing : We have heard you play. Ross Geller : No, you've heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And I'm not going to tell you what song I'm gonna play either. But uh, let's just say when it's over I'll bet there will be a we bit o' celebration. Cecilia : So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. You try. Joey Tribbiani : Okay! All right! Cecilia : No, he already knows that he owns everything in the room! He's not finding it out for the first time! So, try it again. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay. Cecilia : Right. He's not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! All right, it's a little weird, but it's getting better. Oh well, I'm gonna miss this woman so much. I don't know what I'm going to do! I mean, it's been 20 years of my life. Joey Tribbiani : Oh well-Hey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Y'know? It'll-it'll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. You're so talented. Cecilia : I am. I am, but I don't know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy. Joey Tribbiani : Hey that's not true! Look at uh, look at Angela Lansb-Angelina Jolie! Cecilia : I probably should've just left years ago when the offers were pouring in, but y'know I just got so comfy here! And... Ohh, I turned down some amazing work! Joey Tribbiani : Like-like what? Cecilia : Well, let's just say if I left 15 years ago, the landscape of Mexican cinema would be very different today! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Cecilia : But... Well now, now's a different time for me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey come on, don't-don't-don't do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, I'm thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!" Cecilia : You think I'm hot? Joey Tribbiani : You own the room. We should probably get-get uh... Cecilia : Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the... So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the man's face. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that 'cause she's so passionate? Cecilia : No! It's because that way the camera only sees her! Do you wanna try it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Okay. Cecilia : That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like... Rachel Green : Hey! Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Who is it? Guy : Hi! It's Tom, I'm here to pick up the phone. Phoebe Buffay : Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door? Rachel Green : Well why shouldn't I?! Phoebe Buffay : Because it's my apartment! Rachel Green : Well, then I get to give him the cell phone. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. All right. Good luck explaining all the calls to China. Tom : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! How long were we arguing for? Rachel Green : You're not the man who left the cell phone. Tom : No that's my assistant. Rachel Green : Is-is he coming? Tom : Umm, no. Phoebe Buffay : Could you-could you umm, give us one second? Tom : Sure! Rachel Green : We'll be right back sir. Tom : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Wh-what do we do? Rachel Green : I don't know! Phoebe Buffay : Can you believe this? We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up! Rachel Green : I know! What?! Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, they just don't make 'em like that anymore! Rachel Green : No-no they do but, you just have to wait. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, listen-I mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one. Rachel Green : All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! You're such a great friend! Rachel Green : Ohh... Tom : So, which one of you lovely ladies am I going to take to dinner huh? Phoebe Buffay : Oh that'd be me. Sir. After you. Tom : Okay. Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Nice! Cecilia : Well, you certainly own that room. Joey Tribbiani : Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan! Cecilia : Well, it's nice to know that you... Rachel Green : MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! Joey Tribbiani : That uh, that is my roommate Rachel. Cecilia : Oh that explains all the women's underwear. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Yep. Monica Geller : Oh my God! It's true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor? Cecilia : Certainly. Monica Geller : Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! Cecilia : I'd love to, but my lawyer said I can't do that anymore. Rachel Green : God. You seem really, really nice. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, bye-bye. Rachel Green : I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people. Joey Tribbiani : All right, here we go. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! Umm, you're a stupid bitch. Cecilia : I really can't slap you. Rachel Green : You are so beautiful. Monica Geller : Nice to meet you! My God you're great! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks for stopping by. See ya! I-I am so sorry. I... Cecilia : Oh no-no-no-no, being adored. I'm used to it, don't worry about it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Cecilia : What? Joey Tribbiani : They sent me today's script! They never send the script! Cecilia : They don't? Joey Tribbiani : Well no, I'm just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! Oh... Cecilia : How does it happen? Joey Tribbiani : Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence. Cecilia : Ah what?! Jessica hates horses! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well, I'm guessing after this she's not going to be crazy about electricity either. Ross Geller : ...now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt. Rachel Green : I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks. Ross Geller : Do you wanna start telling secrets? Rachel Green : No! Ross Geller : Now umm, remember I'm still learning. Ross Geller : One, two, three, four! Ross Geller : You know the song! Sing along! Ross Geller : So? Chandler Bing : No! Dina : Loosening the saddle on mother's horse was brilliant Fredrick. And the electric fence, inspired. Fredrick : Thank you sweetheart. Dina : I can't believe she's really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. Joey Tribbiani : I don't think so. Dina : Who are you?! Jessica Lockhart : What's the matter Dina? Don't you recognize your own mother?! The Director : Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you! Cecilia : That was so wonderful! Ohh, I think that you're a better Jessica than I ever was! Joey Tribbiani : Oh noo... Cecilia : Well of course not, but you were very good. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Cecilia : And guess what? Good news! I got another job! Joey Tribbiani : Great! Hey! All right! Well-well what is it?! Cecilia : A film in Guadalajara! Joey Tribbiani : The airport? Cecilia : No that's La Guardia. This is Mexico. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh. Wow! Well how-how, how will you be gone? Cecilia : Eight months. Joey Tribbiani : That's a really long time. Cecilia : Yeah, but you can come and visit me. I bet that you could uh, own a few places down there. Joey Tribbiani : Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. And I just got what you meant again-That is-I tell ya, that is a tricky one! Cecilia : That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. You've, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck. Cecilia : You too. Ross Geller : You know the song! Sing along! Phoebe Buffay : Eeee!!! Eee!! Eee!! Matthew Perry : Eee!! Lisa Kudrow : Do it again! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi! Hi Ben! Ben Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah go ahead. Ross Geller : Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joey's special romance magazines in there? Rachel Green : No. No. Ross Geller : Okay! All clear! Ben Geller : Thanks Phoebe! Rachel Green : Ben, its Rachel! But whatever. Ross Geller : Everything okay in there? Ben Geller : Don't talk to me now! Rachel Green : Awww, just like his daddy. Ross Geller : Hey listen can you do me a big favor? The dean's office just called and said there was an urgent meeting. Can you watch Ben for like an hour? Rachel Green : What-what about Monica? Ross Geller : Oh, she isn't home. Rachel Green : So it would just be, me alone? Ross Geller : Well, Ben would be there. Rachel Green : Huh umm... Ross Geller : What's the matter? Rachel Green : Well that-y'know it's just uh, I've never done that before. Me and him alone. Ross Geller : Rach, he's not an ex-con. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him? Ross Geller : I don't know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Ben? Come here. All right, I'm gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay? Rachel Green : Yeah I think so. Ross Geller : I wasn't talking to you. Ben Geller : I'll be okay. Ross Geller : Okay, I'll see you soon buddy. Be back in an hour. Ben Geller : Bye dad. Rachel Green : Bye. Ahhh... So this is fun, huh? Ben Geller : Not really. Rachel Green : Okay. Uh, want something-want something to drink? Ben Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke? Ben Geller : I'm not allowed to have soda. Rachel Green : Okay. Well that's pretty much all that we have-Oh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? Ben Geller : What's a virgin? Rachel Green : Water it is. Monica Geller : What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him. Chandler Bing : You mean the spitter? Monica Geller : Come on! It wasn't that bad! Chandler Bing : Easy for you to say; you'll be wearing a veil. Monica Geller : All right, what about the third guy? Chandler Bing : You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest? Monica Geller : Can you blame him? Chandler Bing : Sorry, I just don't like the idea of when I say, "I do," he's thinking, "Yeah, I'd do her too!" Monica Geller : Well then we still have a problem. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : With what? Monica Geller : Well, we're trying to find someone to perform our wedding and they're all either boring or annoying or y'know, can't stop staring at the ladies. Phoebe Buffay : Oo! You should have one of us do it! Monica Geller : Phoebe, we're getting married, married; not sixth grade married. Phoebe Buffay : No! No! It's-it's uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff! Monica Geller : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! A friend of mine did it and it's totally legal! Joey Tribbiani : I call it!! Phoebe Buffay : What?! No! It was my idea! Chandler Bing : Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us. Joey Tribbiani : Does calling it not mean anything anymore?! Chandler Bing : We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva! Rachel Green : Ben y'know when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. 'Cause I was, I was your daddy's girlfriend. Ben Geller : But you're not anymore! Rachel Green : No, I'm not. Ben Geller : 'Cause you guys were on a break. Rachel Green : Hey! We were not on a-Okay. That's fine! Fine. Y'know what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay? Ben Geller : When's my daddy coming back? Rachel Green : Fifty-two minutes. So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You don't have to share stuff. Ben Geller : Sharing is good. Rachel Green : Oh, you're one of those. But y'know what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other. Ben Geller : Really? Like how? Rachel Green : Well y'know, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, we'd jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so they'd put salt on their cereal. Ben Geller : That's a good one. Rachel Green : Yeah? You like that one? Ben Geller : Yeah, you're funny. Rachel Green : I'm funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, I've got a ton of these! Umm, oh hear-Do you want a good one? Here's a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? And then you say to person, I bet you can't roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, they're left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face. Ben Geller : Can I do it to you? Rachel Green : Yeah, I-I-I-I'm funny Ben, but I'm not stupid. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : So, did you uh, find anyone to marry you guys yet? Chandler Bing : No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together. Monica Geller : We're never gonna find anybody. Joey Tribbiani : Well then let me do it! Chandler Bing : Joe... Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no! Look, I've been thinking about it. I'm an actor right? So I won't get nervous talking in front of people. Monica Geller : Joey look it's really sweet... Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no look no! I won't spit, and I won't stare at Monica's breasts! Y'know? Everyone knows I'm an ass man! Monica Geller : That is true. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah and the most important thing is that it won't be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. It'll be me! And I swear I'll do a really good job. Plus, y'know I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me. Chandler Bing : Y'know, we haven't found anybody else. Monica Geller : It might be kinda cool. Joey Tribbiani : So I can do it? Chandler Bing : Yeah you can do it. Joey Tribbiani : All right!!! Okay!! All right! Okay-okay, I gotta get started on my speech! Oh, wait a minute, Internet ministers can still have sex right? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Hey Pheebs, how's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache! Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Can I get you something? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you've got to stop chattering! Monica Geller : Here, take a couple of these. Phoebe Buffay : What is it? Monica Geller : It's Hexadrin. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I don't believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. Monica Geller : Okay, while we're waiting for these pills to kick in, I'm gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. Get some nice soft pillows under your head, I'm gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And I'm-Sit down--gonna make you some tea. And then, I'm gonna rub your feet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! My head! Oh! Oh! Rachel Green : Coming. Ross Geller : I have a bone to pick with you. Rachel Green : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : Yes! Ben learned a little trick. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Did he pull the old... Ross Geller : That's right! That's right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere! Rachel Green : Oh that. Ross Geller : Yeah that! You know I hate practical jokes! They're mean and they're stupid and-and I don't want my son learning them! Rachel Green : Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you don't think that's just a little funny?! Ross Geller : I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right? Rachel Green : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : It's amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called? Monica Geller : Hexadrin. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I love you Hexadrin! Oh look! It comes with a story! Monica Geller : No Phoebe, those are like the side affects and stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Say what? Monica Geller : Y'know, the possible side affects. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headache-Headache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I don't recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh I'm sorry, extra strength death capsules! Monica Geller : Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Monica Geller : In case it happens. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : You did it! You got ordained?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there! Chandler Bing : Our minister... Phoebe Buffay : I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! Monica Geller : Phoebe, your liver is right here. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then I must be disoriented. Joey Tribbiani : Anyway, I started working on what I'm going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it? Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so... "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." Eh? "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." "We too can share and love and have and receive." Chandler Bing : Should we call the spitter? Carol Willick : Hey Rachel! Rachel Green : Hi! Carol Willick : What a nice surprise! What are you doing here? Rachel Green : Well y'know I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "What's up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?" Carol Willick : Can I ask what-Come on in. Rachel Green : Okay. Carol Willick : Umm uh, I'll make some coffee and we can uh, chat. Rachel Green : I'd love that. I would loooove... So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little... Ben Geller : Gotcha!! Rachel Green : I found him! Very funny, come here! That is exactly why I've come here to talk to you okay? Carol Willick : Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee? Rachel Green : Yes oh--Do I want sugar in my coffee? No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday? Ben Geller : Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday? Rachel Green : Don't do that. Ben Geller : Don't do that. Rachel Green : Seriously, your dad doesn't like pranks. Ben Geller : Seriously, your dad doesn't like pranks. Rachel Green : Oh damnit! Ben Geller : Oh damnit! Rachel Green : No! Don't say that! Don't say that! Ben Geller : Damnit! Rachel Green : No don't! Go back to repeating! Ben Geller : Damnit! Rachel Green : Oh crap! Ben Geller : Oh crap! Phoebe Buffay : I feel like my face is swelling. Is my face swelling? Monica Geller : Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, interesting you should call me that! Now that I may never have one! Joey Tribbiani : Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready? Chandler Bing : Yeah. O-okay. Joey Tribbiani : "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and..." And then I can't think of a good word for right here. Monica Geller : How about receiving? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Chandler Bing : See Joe, not that that's not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Y'know, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember? Chandler Bing : No, not us... Us! Monica Geller : I gotcha. Sorry. So, did you ever make him throw up a whole anything? Phoebe Buffay : Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes? Monica Geller : It doesn't say that! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects! Chandler Bing : See Joe, we want you to tell stories but y'know, romantic stories. Nice stories. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Okay. Ooh! Ooh! Okay, maybe I'll talk about London! Y'know when you two hooked up! Only, only I won't say hooked up. I'll say, "Began their beautiful journey..." Monica Geller : There you go! Joey Tribbiani : "...by doin' it." Chandler Bing : Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing y'know you're in the bathtub together and she's feeding you strawberries? Chandler Bing : Isn't that what happened with you and the bride's maid? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! I call that London style. Monica Geller : No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Ross's mom. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Monica Geller : And then Chandler was, was really sweet and he consoled me. And well we drank too much... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah baby! Chandler Bing : And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Chandler Bing : But then later that night... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah baby! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Cute PJ's! You're really livin' it up here in London huh? Chandler Bing : Well I was... I was exactly expecting company after... 9:15. Monica Geller : Is Joey here? Chandler Bing : Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the bride's maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, you're not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya? Monica Geller : Wouldn't you be? Chandler Bing : Well, look it's been a really emotional time y'know, and you've had a lot to drink. And you've just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight! Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out? Monica Geller : Well, not anymore. Chandler Bing : But we don't do that. Monica Geller : I know, I just thought it would be fun. Chandler Bing : How drunk are you? Monica Geller : Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage. Chandler Bing : That's the perfect amount! Monica Geller : Okay! Monica Geller : Y'know what's weird? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : This doesn't feel weird! Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : You're a really good kisser. Chandler Bing : Well, I have kissed over four women. Do you wanna get under the covers? Monica Geller : Hm-hmm! Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Wow! You are really fast! Chandler Bing : It bodes well for me that speed impresses you. Monica Geller : We're gonna see each other naked. Chandler Bing : Yep! Monica Geller : Do you wanna do it at the same time? Chandler Bing : Count of three? Monica Geller : One! Chandler Bing : Two! Monica Geller : Two! Chandler Bing : Three! Chandler Bing : Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined. Monica Geller : Eh, we weren't that close anyway! Chandler Bing : Eh! Chandler Bing : Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, dude I'm so sorry! Chandler Bing : No! No! No! Joey Tribbiani : Hey no-no-no-no! It's cool! It's cool! I-I'll only be a second, I'm still with my bride's maid, I just-Where are those condoms you brought? Chandler Bing : They're in my bag over there. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Chandler Bing : Uh, could you leave me one? Joey Tribbiani : For just you? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey listen, why don't you come downstairs with me? There's some really nice girls down there. Chandler Bing : No I-I-I'm fine. Joey Tribbiani : All right, here you go buddy. Go nuts. Joey Tribbiani : That's what that was?! 'Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me. Monica Geller : Okay, can we change the topic? Because it's really doing nothing for me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh... Can you imagine if I hadn't left you that last one? You two might've never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! It's like it was in the stars! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it's totally meant to be. Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night. Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Chandler Bing : Who did you originally want to hook up with? Monica Geller : Okay, fine but please don't be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted...just sex. So, when I...went to your room that night...I was actually looking...for Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah baby! No baby! Chandler Bing : So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this? Monica Geller : No because it-it didn't seem important. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's not important? It's not important?! If it wasn't for a bride's maid you'd be marrying him not me! Monica Geller : Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with! Joey Tribbiani : And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv- Chandler Bing : I don't believe it. The most romantic night of my life and I'm runner up. Monica Geller : Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Now I'm a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings! Chandler Bing : Look there is no way you're doing this wedding now. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : What?! That's not fair! It's not my fault! I was off with my bride's maid! And who's to say I would've even said yes?! I mean I would've said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay! Chandler Bing : Okay, it's just weird! Okay? I don't want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need...I don't know what I need. I need a walk. Monica Geller : Wait Chandler come on, let's-it's not a big deal! Chandler Bing : It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. Joey Tribbiani : This is crazy. Phoebe Buffay : I know! Robin is so gay! Rachel Green : So now what have we agreed? Ben Geller : No more pranks. Rachel Green : And-and what else? Ben Geller : That you and daddy were not on a break. Rachel Green : Very good. Ross Geller : Rachel! What are you doing here? Rachel Green : I'm just visiting my good friend Carol. Ross Geller : Your good friend? Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : What's her last name? Rachel Green : Carol...Lesbian? Ross Geller : Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face? Rachel Green : What line? Ross Geller : Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, "Dude, don't you ever was your face?" Rachel Green : All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but you were so mad already! Ross Geller : Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-it's not funny! Carol Willick : Hey Ross! Ross Geller : Hi. Carol Willick : What's not funny? Ross Geller : Practical jokes. Carol Willick : Oh I...I think they're funny. Ross Geller : You have a line down your face. Carol Willick : What? Rachel Green : Okay, maybe they are not funny to you... Carol Willick : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Or Carol! But they're funny to kids and who is it hurting?! Ross Geller : Uh, y'know what? I'll tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principal's office wearing nothing but a catcher's mitt! Rachel Green : That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!" Ross Geller : I will be! Listen, I don't want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay? Rachel Green : Fine. Fine, but I'll have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but I'll go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if that's what you want! Ross Geller : No that's not what I want. Uh, I'm glad you guys were bonding but I... Rachel Green : Look he doesn't have any brothers or sisters, somebody's gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I haven't taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesn't know anyway! Ben Geller : Crap!! Rachel Green : I gotta go! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Do you want this scone? It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, come on nothing even happened! Chandler Bing : Look Joe, I know you wanted to do the wedding... Joey Tribbiani : No-hey-no! If you don't want me to do it, I except that. I don't care about that. I just...I don't want you to be upset. Chandler Bing : How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! You're so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, 'cause you guys are perfect for each other. Y'know, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just...it-it fits. Y'know? And you just know it's gonna last forever. Chandler Bing : That's what you should say. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : When you're marrying us; that's what you should say. Joey Tribbiani : Really? I can do it? Chandler Bing : I'd love it if you would do it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : But those are the words! Those exact words! Joey Tribbiani : Well I don't know remember exactly but, it's-it's pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey I'm sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-I've got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, 'Fun Aunt' Rachel, so... Rachel Green : Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, don't we Ben? Ross Geller : Okay, I'll see you later pal. Rachel Green : Ohh, okay. Wh-Ah-ha! Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I can't do it. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : I can't let him go out that way, he's got a meeting. You've got something here on your back. Ross Geller : What? That's great. That is great. What did we just finish talking about Ben?! Rachel Green : Oh I... Ben Geller : What did we just finish talking about Ben?! Ross Geller : All right, that's it! Come-you-no! You are in big trouble young man! Rachel Green : No! Wait! Come on! Ross Geller : Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding! Rachel Green : No you guys... Ross Geller : I-I-am- Rachel Green : EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey-hey. Joey Tribbiani : So are guys doing okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important. Monica Geller : Yeah baby! Phoebe Buffay : I'm really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two actually had hooked up. Monica Geller : Honey! Dinner's ready! Joey Tribbiani : What's my little chef got for me tonight? Monica Geller : Your favorite! Joey Tribbiani : Ho-ho-ho, fried stuff with cheese! Monica Geller : Yep! And lot's of it! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks sweetheart. Give me a little sugar here. Okay. Monica Geller : Okay, in we go. Joey Tribbiani : Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : Here you go. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! That's it! I'm out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief! Joey Tribbiani : Good for you! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's like huge weight has been lifted! 'Cause look, no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, I'm just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoria-Oh. Monica Geller : So the wedding caterer sent me this list of twelve appetizers and I have to narrow it down to six. Joey Tribbiani : Food? Uh-huh gimme! Chandler Bing : So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that we're trying to get to play at the wedding? Phoebe Buffay : Since when are you into swing music? Chandler Bing : Oh since forever! I used to go all over town listening to bands! Monica Geller : Chandler. Chandler Bing : Gap commercial. So did you book them? Did you call? Monica Geller : I will. Chandler Bing : Do you want me to call? Monica Geller : No, I'll do it. You just stick to your job. Phoebe Buffay : What is your job? Chandler Bing : Staying out of the way. Joey Tribbiani : This is impossible Monica, why don't you just pick all 15? Monica Geller : There were only twelve. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, I added three. Monica Geller : What are peanut butter fingers?! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah... Ross Geller : Well hello! She's cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her? Chandler Bing : Sure! That's one of the great things about being engaged. I'm not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore. The Woman : Could you guys help me? Ross Geller : Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you. The Woman : It-it's really heavy. Ross Geller : I got it. So hi, I'm uh, I'm Ross and this is my friend Chandler. The Woman : I-I am Kristen. Ross Geller : Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, 'cause if you are...I'd love to show you around sometime. Kristen Leigh : I...I uh, actually just moved from four blocks over. Ross Geller : Ah. Kristen Leigh : But-but this block is like a whole other world. Ross Geller : Y'know actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! Chandler Bing : Smooth. Kristen Leigh : Excuse me? Ross Geller : Umm, say you're gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight? Kristen Leigh : Oh I'd like that. Ross Geller : Yeah? Kristen Leigh : Yeah. Ross Geller : Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. Kristen Leigh : After you. Ross Geller : Oh no-no, after you. Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Am I crazy or does this totally go?! Rachel Green : Oh my God! You look so beautiful! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica! Monica Geller : This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I can't believe I found it! The Woman : Wow you look so beautiful! If I knew you, I'd cry. Monica Geller : Well I'm Monica Geller, ball like a baby. The Woman : I'm Megan Bailey. Monica Geller : Have you found your dress yet? Megan Bailey : Oh no, these dresses are all so amazing but there is no way I could afford one. Monica Geller : No, I can't afford this either. No. I-I-I'm, I'm just to figure out which one I want then I'm gonna get it at Kleinman's, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale. Megan Bailey : Oh, thanks for the tip. Monica Geller : Yeah! So-so when are you getting married? Megan Bailey : Oh I'm not, I just like to try these on. Rachel Green : I do the same thing. Megan Bailey : I'm just kidding. I'm getting married July 25th. Rachel Green : I'm just kidding too. I'm getting married in December. Megan Bailey : So when are you getting married? Monica Geller : Oh May 15th. Megan Bailey : Oooh it's getting close! Monica Geller : Yeah! Megan Bailey : So uh, who's your photographer? Monica Geller : Jeffery. Megan Bailey : We met with him. Did he show you the photos of the nude wedding he did? Monica Geller : The best man? Wow! Megan Bailey : I know! I almost called off my wedding. Oh, who's your band?! Monica Geller : Oh, my fiancee wants the Swing Kings. Megan Bailey : Oh, you're so lucky. My fiancee wants the heavy metal band Carcass. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, is that spelled with a 'C' or a 'K'? Oh my God! It doesn't matter; they're both great! Rachel Green : Oh y'know what? Y'know what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinman's and get it half off. This place is so overpriced. The Woman : I own this store. Rachel Green : So, does this come in another color or... Joey Tribbiani : Hi! You uh, movin' in or movin' out? Kristen Leigh : I'm moving in. Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, can I give you a hand? Kristen Leigh : Oh okay. But y'know what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back. Joey Tribbiani : Boyfriend? Kristen Leigh : No. Joey Tribbiani : I'm Joey. Kristen Leigh : Kristen. Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow, what a beautiful name! What is it again? Kristen Leigh : Kristen. Joey Tribbiani : Got it! So... Kristen Leigh : So uh, do you live around here? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop or you can wake up with your shoes gone. Kristen Leigh : I'll remember that. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight? Kristen Leigh : Oh I, I have plans tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Kristen Leigh : But how about tomorrow? Joey Tribbiani : Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? Kristen Leigh : You look strong, why don't I take that and you grab one of the boxes. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'll grab this one. A Woman : What is taking so long?! I mean whatever! Rachel Green : So this is Brooklyn. Monica Geller : All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what you're looking for! Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Got it. Monica Geller : All right. A Woman : Here he comes! Hurry! Rachel Green : Oh they're pushing! They're pushing!! Monica Geller : Hey! Don't be a baby! Rachel Green : Well I... A Woman : Let's go!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel! Come on!!!! Monica Geller : No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. Don't crowd me! This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, it's perfect! I'm sorry, this one's taken! Whoa! Monica Geller : Megan! Megan Bailey : Monica! Monica Geller : You came?! Megan Bailey : Yeah! Monica Geller : This is my dress! Megan Bailey : No! Monica Geller : Yes it is! You saw me wearing it! Megan Bailey : And now you'll see me buying it. Monica Geller : What? You freak! You wouldn't even have known about this place if it wasn't for me! Megan Bailey : Look, you don't want to fight me. Monica Geller : Maybe I do! I'm pretty feisty! Phoebe Buffay : I'm coming! I'm coming! Woman : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Hey! What do I do?!! What are you doing? Did you find the dress? Phoebe Buffay : Did you find the dress? Rachel Green : No! You gotta get me out of here Phoebe! These bargain shoppers are crazy! Phoebe Buffay : I-We gotta get Monica. Rachel Green : No! You gotta hold my hand!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!! Excuse me! Excuse me! Monica Geller : Go! Go! Go! Rachel Green : Hey... Monica Geller : NOW!!!!!!!! Chandler Bing : So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet? Ross Geller : Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying she'd like to go out again. Chandler Bing : Huh. Ross Geller : Yeah in fact, I'm gonna go call her right now. And I'll make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says... Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Listen, sorry I didn't stop by last night but I had a date. Chandler Bing : Uh Joe, when it's one o'clock in the morning and you don't come by? That's okay! Joey Tribbiani : Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street! Chandler Bing : Really? Right across the street? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : When'd you meet her? Joey Tribbiani : Two days ago. Chandler Bing : Excellent! Y'know Ross met somebody too! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hi! How'd it go? Ross Geller : Oh great! We're going out again Saturday. But I just found she's also seeing some other guy. Chandler Bing : Really?! Joe? What would you do if you were in Ross's situation? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, I'm dating this girl who's also seeing another guy. But, I don't know, I'm not to worried about it. Ross Geller : Well you shouldn't be. Believe me I wouldn't want to be the guy who's up against you. I mean that doofus is going to lose! Chandler Bing : So this is nice! I wish I didn't have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. Oh uh, by the way, what's the name the girl you're dating? Joey Tribbiani : Kristen Lang. Chandler Bing : Bye! Ross Geller : Well obviously only one of us can keep dating her. Joey Tribbiani : Obviously! So, how do we decide? Ross Geller : Well now let's-let's look at this objectively, I think I should date her... Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or I'm the one who dates her. Ross Geller : That's interesting, but check this out. I date her... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction... Ross Geller : Okay, okay. This can go on for a while. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well we should order some food then. Ross Geller : No Joey! Look why don't, why don't we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, we'll each go out with her one more time. And-and we'll see who she likes best. Joey Tribbiani : That sounds fair. Ross Geller : Maybe I'll take her to that new French restaurant down the street... Joey Tribbiani : Ah yeah-wait a second now! Look we're gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I don't have the money to take her to a fancy place like that. Ross Geller : Well sorry, that's what I do on dates. Joey Tribbiani : All right, well I guess I'll just have to do what I do on dates. Ross Geller : So let's decide on the spending limit... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Uh, ...a slice......six dollars? Ross Geller : I was thinking more like a hundred. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Can I borrow 94 dollars? Monica Geller : Oh... Phoebe Buffay : I know. Hand me a tissue. Rachel Green : You're out of Diet Coke. Monica Geller : Hello? What?! You what?! Hey you listen here missy! Wh- Phoebe Buffay : What?! Monica Geller : That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldn't have them back unless I gave her the dress! Phoebe Buffay : Does that mean Carcass is available? Monica Geller : What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh...Chandler wants the band. What do I do? Phoebe Buffay : Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it. Monica Geller : How? Rachel Green : You're out of toilet paper! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! What's up? Joey Tribbiani : I just wanted to come by and y'know, wish you good luck on your date. Ross Geller : Oh thanks! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. What time are you meeting her? Ross Geller : We have 8:00 reservations at Grammercy Bistero. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, that's in like 20 minutes. You'd better get dressed. Ross Geller : I am dressed. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Well good! For me. What is this? Did you give yourself a facial? Ross Geller : I have an oily T-zone! Joey Tribbiani : Okay dude! Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers. Ross Geller : That's right. Joey Tribbiani : You spent a hundred dollars. That's the limit. You're screwed! Ross Geller : Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didn't break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh! So that's the way it's gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too y'know! Ross Geller : Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Ross Geller : Why am I not surprised? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what Ross? I'm not gonna let you get away with this! Ross Geller : I don't think you have much choice. Joey Tribbiani : Well we'll see! Ross Geller : Bye-bye! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah bye-bye! Hey! So just a light layer? Ross Geller : Yes. Yes. Just here and there . Chandler Bing : Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, swing music is so out. Monica Geller : Phoebe, he's gotta be in the room for that to work. Chandler Bing : What are you guys talking about? Monica Geller : Well umm, we were just talking about the y'know, the Swing Kings and just wondering whether y'know, they were the right way to go. Rachel Green : Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now I'm not saying that there's any connection here y'know, but they did tell me that's why they got divorced. Chandler Bing : But I love swing music! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah but the Swing Kings? Y'know they suck so much that people actually die at their concerts-They just stop living. Chandler Bing : Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And there's another reason too. Rachel Green : Well, what is the other reason? Chandler Bing : I don't want to say. Rachel Green : Well you have to because maybe it's stupid. Chandler Bing : Well it's just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was...the first time I knew that...you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with. Monica Geller : Oh crap! Ross Geller : So they said our table will be ready in just a few minutes. Kristen Leigh : Oh great! Ross Geller : Yeah. Kristen Leigh : Is your back feeling better? Ross Geller : Oh yeah it's fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control. Joey Tribbiani : Kristen? Kristen Leigh : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Kristen Leigh : Hi! What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani : Oh I like this place. And technically, technically I'm not breaking any rules so I... Kristen Leigh : Well uh, Ross? This is Joey. Joey? Ross. Joey Tribbiani : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi. It's nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I don't anymore. Kristen Leigh : Our table will be ready in a couple minutes. Ross Geller : Yeah. So... Joey Tribbiani : Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! Ross Geller : So Joey umm, you look familiar. Are uh, are you on TV or something? Kristen Leigh : Well Joey doesn't like to talk about it but, he's one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives. Ross Geller : That's right! That's right, don't you play a woman? Joey Tribbiani : A woman in a man's body. Ross Geller : Much better. Joey Tribbiani : So y'know Ross it's funny 'cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married? Ross Geller : Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how I've been married and how I have a son. Kristen Leigh : Yeah, little Eric. Ross Geller : That's right! Wait no, Ben. Joey Tribbiani : So you've just married the one time then? Ross Geller : Well umm... Kristen Leigh : You've been married twice? Ross Geller : Yes. And another time after that. Boy I'm getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food? Kristen Leigh : You said the waiter ate my crab cake. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. So uh Ross, well now-why did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian? Kristen Leigh : Do you two know each other? Joey Tribbiani : No. No. Joey Tribbiani : No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge. Ross Geller : Wait a minute! Were you on a poster for gonorrhea? Joey Tribbiani : Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?! Ross Geller : Hey you leave Marcel out of this! Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?! Ross Geller : Hey-hey have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet VD boy?! Joey Tribbiani : Monkey lover! Joey Tribbiani : When do you think we lost her? Ross Geller : Probably around gonorrhea. Chandler Bing : Hi, honey! I'm home! Monica Geller : Don't come in here! Chandler Bing : Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something? Monica Geller : No! We only mess around at his place! Chandler Bing : Y'know it's funny I started it but, now it's scary me. So could you come out here please? Monica Geller : No, I'm wearing a wedding dress. Chandler Bing : Oh you got a wedding dress? That's great! Monica Geller : Yeah but I'm not keeping it. Chandler Bing : Well then why can't I see it? Monica Geller : Oh. I guess you can. Okay but; I-I have to return it, so you can't like it. Chandler Bing : Okay I promise. I'll-I'll hate it. Wow! You-you look...hideous. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's like the most ugliest dress I've ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it? Monica Geller : Oh because it doesn't...really fit. Oh by the way, I-I booked the Swing Kings. Chandler Bing : Oh that's great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean it's like yuck! It's terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you! Monica Geller : Okay! But you can't rip it. Well, maybe a little. Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? Guys? Chandler Bing : I thought you were gonna be gone all day. Monica Geller : All right? What's going on? Monica Geller : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I should probably leave you girls alone. Ross Geller : Yeah, laugh all you want but in ten minutes we're gonna have younger looking skin! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Y'know, she could use a little... Oh nice shot!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You guys! You're not gonna believe this! I just got off the phone with my agent... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I'm sorry, too soon. You go. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives! Monica Geller : Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Good for you! Monica Geller : Congratulations! Wow! I can't believe you're nominated for an Emmy! Joey Tribbiani : No-no. Monica Geller : Oh Soap Opera Digest award! Joey Tribbiani : No! I'm up for a Soapie! Monica Geller : Honey? Is that something you're making up? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! It's real! And it has been since 1998. Hey Rach! Rach! I'm up for a Soapie! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God!! That is like the third most prestigious soap opera award there is! Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who I'm taking to the awards. Rachel Green : Oh, stop that! Don't kid about that! Will all the stars be there? Joey Tribbiani : Many are scheduled to appear. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh my God! I can't go! I'm gonna be too nervous! Monica Geller : Okay, I'll go! Rachel Green : No!! You are getting married! This is all I have. Ross Geller : ...and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand it's collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten it's predator. Yes Mr. Lewis? Lewis : What kinda noise? Ross Geller : Just a high pitched intimidating noise. Lewis : But like how? Ross Geller : Well we-we don't know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, that's uh, that's all for today. Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment? Ned Morse : Yes sir. Ross Geller : Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, I'm afraid I-I had to fail you. Ned Morse : Why?! Ross Geller : Well you need 60% to pass... Ned Morse : What'd I get? Ross Geller : Seven. Ned Morse : That's not so good. Ross Geller : No-no it's not. What-what happened there Ned? Ned Morse : Well maybe you can cut me some slack. I'm sort of in love. Ross Geller : Well I'm sorry but, that-that's really not my problem. Ned Morse : I'm in love with you. Ross Geller : Well that brings me in the loop a little. Ned Morse : You see, that's why I did so bad on this test. I'm having a hard time concentrating. When you're up there and you're teaching and your face gets all serious...you look so good. You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater... Ross Geller : Okay! Umm, I uh, I'm your teacher. I'm sorry, you're-you're a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out! Monica Geller : Really? My God, he's really cute. Phoebe Buffay : Go for it. Monica Geller : Phoebe, I'm engaged! Phoebe Buffay : I'm just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and can't perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill. The Cute Guy : Hi! Monica Geller : Op, can I just tell you something? Very flattered but umm, I'm engaged. The Cute Guy : Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend. Monica Geller : Well you should be embarrassed. The Cute Guy : I thought you knew I was looking at you. Phoebe Buffay : I did, but that was really fun. Joey Tribbiani : And the winner is...Joey Tribbiani! Oh... Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didn't prepare a speech. But umm, I'd like to thank my parents, who've always been there for me. I'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel... Rachel Green : I'm fourth! Look at you with your little maple syrup award! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah may-maybe you don't tell anyone about this. Rachel Green : What? No! It's not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo bottle. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : What award are you practicing for? Rachel Green : Grammy, Best New Artist. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey listen! The Soapie's called today and I also get to present an award. Rachel Green : Ohh that's great! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Rachel Green : So you'll definitely get onstage, even if you don't win. Joey Tribbiani : What you-you don't think I'm gonna win? Rachel Green : Well of course I do! But y'know, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean you're up against the guy who survived his own cremation. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but it's just...I've never even been nominated before! I want it so much. Rachel Green : Well Joey, you'll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Y'know when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Y'know? So it's sorta like... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Y'know? Joey Tribbiani : You practice losing the Grammies too? Rachel Green : Oh no, at the Grammies I always win. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! Monica Geller : Hey! How'd your date go with Jake? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, great! We couldn't keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while y'know, he'd kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. Monica Geller : Okay, stop it Phoebe, you're getting me all tingly. Phoebe Buffay : All I could think of was y'know, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?" Monica Geller : And did he? Phoebe Buffay : I'm a lady Monica, I don't kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. Monica Geller : Okay-okay, I got it. I got it. Phoebe Buffay : I just like him so much that I just feel like I've had 10 drinks today and I've only had six. Monica Geller : Oh, I haven't had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, I'm never gonna have that feeling again am I? Phoebe Buffay : You sound like a guy. Monica Geller : No, a guy would be saying, "I'm never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! I'm never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! I've been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that I'd be giving up! I mean, I...I'm never gonna have a first kiss again. Phoebe Buffay : You'll have a last kiss. Ross Geller : Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you? Joey Tribbiani : Is that why you wanted to tie my tie? Ross Geller : There's this kid in my class who said he's in love with me. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Rachel Green : Whoa what? Joey Tribbiani : Ross has a boyfriend. Ross Geller : I do-I do not have a boyfriend. There's a guy in one of my classes who-who has a crush on me. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah! I don't know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of...sexy professor vibe? Rachel Green : Not right now. Ross Geller : It-it-The point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm. Rachel Green : Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Y'know you-I couldn't concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember what's it's like to be 19 and in love. Ross Geller : Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : How'd you get over that teacher? Rachel Green : I didn't. I got under him. Joey Tribbiani : Problem solved. Jake : Bye Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Okay bye. Jake : All right. Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Bye! We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love. Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's okay. You don't have to tip toe around me. I-I've been thinking about it and umm, y'know what? I'm okay about not having that new relationship feeling... Jake : I miss you already!! Phoebe Buffay : I miss you too!!!! Monica Geller : See? That's what I mean. I mean that, that's great! But I wouldn't trade in what I have for that. I mean I'm gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and that's what makes me happy. Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is don't you think? Chandler Bing : Oh totally! Pull my finger. Announcer : Presenting the award for Favorite Returning Male Character is McKensize... Joey Tribbiani : This is it! This is my category. Rachel Green : I know! My God! Do you have your speech? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I got my speech! Rachel Green : Do you got your gracious loser face? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Can I squeeze your ass? Rachel Green : On TV?! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : 'Kay! The Presenter : In The Category Of Favorite Returning Male Character The Nominees Are John Wheeler from General Hospital , Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless , Dunkin Harrington from Passions , and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives . And the Soapie goes to......Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless! Joey Tribbiani : What the?! Announcer : Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. Joey Tribbiani : Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop , from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is......Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldn't be with us tonight so I'll be accepting this award on her behalf. And I'm sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. She'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel who's sittin' right there! Rachel Green : Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?! Joey Tribbiani : Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! Rachel Green : Oh my God you stole her award! Joey Tribbiani : No-no! No, I'm accepting it on her behalf. Rachel Green : Joey I don't think you know what behalf means. Joey Tribbiani : Sure I do! It's a verb! As in, "I behalfin' it!" Rachel Green : Joey, you have got to take this back! Joey Tribbiani : But why?! I should've won one and I really want it and she didn't even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy. Rachel Green : No! Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Come on Rach! No one saw me take it! There was a whole table full of 'em. Rachel Green : Do you really want an award you didn't win? Joey Tribbiani : No! I want an award I did win! But nobody's giving me any of those! Plus-Hey Rach, if-if I put it up there right? When people come over they'll see it and they'll think I won it. Rachel Green : Joey is says Best Supporting Actress! Joey Tribbiani : I can scratch that right off. Rachel Green : Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You don't want to win an award this way. You're very talented. And someday you're gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Rachel Green : All right? Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : I'll take it back tomorrow. Rachel Green : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : If I can't have it you can't have it! Lewis : Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you? Lewis : I know I didn't do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda hoping you could change my grade. Ross Geller : And why exactly would I do that? Lewis : Because I'm in love with you. Ross Geller : What?! Lewis : Yeah, I'm all...in love with you and stuff. So could you change my grade? Ross Geller : No! Lewis : Well why not you changed Ned's grade! Ross Geller : Well that's different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me! Lewis : No he's not! He's totally yanking your chain! He's done this with three other teachers! Ross Geller : What? Lewis : He's got a girlfriend! Ross Geller : I can't believe someone would do that for a grade. Lewis : I know! It's awful. I love you. Monica Geller : Have you seen Chandler? Phoebe Buffay : No. Why? Monica Geller : 'Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that I'm not gonna have and it's freaking me out. I don't know what to do about it. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't sweat it. Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guy's cute. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Come on I'm serious! I just got to talk to him about all this. Phoebe Buffay : No that is the last thing you want to do! Monica Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because you're marrying him! Monica Geller : You gotta help me out here Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I've never been engaged and I've never really been married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship, do not communicate them to your husband. Monica Geller : So I'm not supposed to share my doubts and fears with the guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with? Phoebe Buffay : That is correct! Yes, you're supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight. Monica Geller : Your mother told you this? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Monica Geller : The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! You're right! Go! Go tell Chandler! Hurry before it's too late! Wait no! Does this also mean putting out doesn't get you love? Rachel Green : I cannot believe I'm gonna meet Jessica Ashley! Joey Tribbiani : Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman. Rachel Green : Okay, I'm totally cool! Jessica Ashley : Come in. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Jessica. Rachel Green : Hey Jess. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, this is my friend Rachel. Jessica Ashley : Hi. Rachel Green : 'Sup? Joey Tribbiani : Uh listen, here's your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. Jessica Ashley : Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, that-that-that's it? You're gonna, you're gonna put it on your self or anything? Jessica Ashley : No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if you'll excuse me. Joey Tribbiani : Take it back? Rachel Green : Absolutely. Joey Tribbiani : Y-y-yeah! Yeah you do. Monica Geller : Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share? Chandler Bing : Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big Monica Geller : You're wrong! The centerpieces are fine! Do you ever get scared at all? Chandler Bing : Kinda. They're really big. Monica Geller : Doesn't it ever just freak you out that-that you're never gonna be with anybody new again? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Just, I love you so much. Just...It's just sometimes it bothers me that I'm never gonna have that feeling. Y'know when you meet someone for the first time and it's new and exciting? Y'know that rush? Chandler Bing : No. No, see when I first meet somebody it's uh it's mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating. Monica Geller : Okay, but all right you're a guy, does it not freak you that you're never gonna sleep with anybody else? Chandler Bing : Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and I'm afraid even more sweating. Monica Geller : Even with me? Chandler Bing : I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Well yeah! But now that I know that you're having these thoughts, I'm back to panic, anxiety, and uh I'm definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink. Monica Geller : Come here! Come here! Sweetie you don't have to worry. No, besides y'know what? I'm gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid... Chandler Bing : Water! Water! Water! Ross Geller : Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment? Ned Morse : That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair cut? Ross Geller : Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to know that I'm changing your grade back. Ned Morse : What?! Why? Ross Geller : 'Cause I know what you're trying to pull here. Okay? It's not gonna work. Ned Morse : I'm not trying to pull anything. Look I love you dude. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I-I'm not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay--Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You don't love me and you never did! Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, I'll be right with you. Don't make this worse and I'll give you a C. Shall we? Phoebe Buffay : Rach? Rachel Green : I'll be out in a second. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. It's just so unexpected! I...I uh...Boy I'll tell you it's just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and y'know to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in... Rachel Green : Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00. Phoebe Buffay : ...in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. Rachel Green : Okay honey, you can finish this later we're gonna be late. We gotta go. Phoebe Buffay : Please, don't play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! How was your audition? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, do I know you? Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing, I'm just practicing blowing you off because I'm gonna be a big movie star! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! You got it?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good. Monica Geller : What was it for? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. It's really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese. Phoebe Buffay : The next, next? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, there's this guy from Chicago who's supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guy's right after him. Hello! Estelle Leonard : Joey! It's Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you! Joey Tribbiani : They loved me! Estelle Leonard : Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Estelle Leonard : There's just one thing. Do you have a problem with full frontal nudity? Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! Oh. Uh, okay uh let me call you back. Phoebe Buffay : What's the matter? Joey Tribbiani : They want me to be totally naked in the movie! Monica Geller : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : I know! My grandmother's gonna see this! Phoebe Buffay : Grandma's gonna have to get in line. Phoebe Buffay : Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous? Monica Geller : Yeah. But a part of me also can't wait 'til it's over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding. Ross Geller : A no sex pact huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America. Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand? Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Monica Geller : I gotta make up the guest bedroom. Hey, Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with us a few days. Ross Geller : Cassie? Monica Geller : Uh-hmm. Ross Geller : Wow, I haven't seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes. Monica Geller : Ross, she's 25 years old. Ross Geller : So what! I still have-No you're probably right. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Subtle guys! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Monica Geller : I know you're planning my surprise bridal shower. Rachel Green : Well okay-Well don't ruin it! Just play along at least! Monica Geller : Okay. Sorry. Rachel Green : Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?! Monica Geller : Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! It's not like it's porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Y'know? And the nudity is really important to the story. Monica Geller : That's what you say about porn. Joey Tribbiani : You're right. Maybe I shouldn't even go on the call back. Monica Geller : No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on! Joey Tribbiani : Well that's true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My character's catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. It's really sweet and-and tender. Monica Geller : Plus, everyone's gonna see your thing. Phoebe Buffay : Well when can we have this shower? Rachel Green : She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday... Phoebe Buffay : Well that's only two days away. What is the other option? Rachel Green : Yesterday! Phoebe Buffay : Well if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo! We're done! Rachel Green : Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We can't do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! There's just too much to do! It's impossible! We can't do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, calm down! Rachel Green : Okay. I'm sorry. You're right, you're right. Phoebe Buffay : Just calm down woman! Rachel Green : Phoebe, I already, I already did. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it? Phoebe Buffay : Uh, here. What time? Rachel Green : 4 o'clock. Food? Phoebe Buffay : Finger sandwiches and tea. Rachel Green : Ooh great! Very Monica. Phoebe Buffay : And chili! Rachel Green : Ah you went one too far. Uh, flowers or balloons? Phoebe Buffay : Both! Rachel Green : We're paying for this y'know. Phoebe Buffay : Neither. Rachel Green : Okay. Umm, what should we do for the theme? Phoebe Buffay : Lusts of the flesh. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. A cowboy theme? Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Y'know I'm-I'm really glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding. Monica Geller : Oh boy me too! Chandler Bing : Y'know I was thinking if we had a...a big fight and uh we broke up for a few hours... Monica Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Technically we could have sex again. What do you think, bossy and domineering?! Monica Geller : The wedding is off, sloppy and immature! Chandler Bing : That's me! Come on! Monica Geller : Okay. But wait, we can't. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, we're supposed to have lunch. Chandler Bing : Well get rid of her, obsessive and shrill. Monica Geller : Shrill?! The wedding is back on! Cassie Geller : I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler. Chandler Bing : Hi! Nice to meet you! Cassie Geller : Nice to meet you too. Monica Geller : So, are you ready to go? Cassie Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : I'll be right with you. Monica Geller : Cassie needs to stay at your place. Ross Geller : What-why? Monica Geller : Because Purvry Perverson over here can't stop staring at her. Ross Geller : What?! Chandler she's our cousin! Chandler Bing : I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. It's called being a good conversationalist. Watch. Say something. Monica Geller : You were staring about eight inches south of there. Ross Geller : Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now. Monica Geller : She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn. Chandler Bing : Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding? Monica Geller : Wafer thin ice! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm back! The Casting Director : Hi-hi Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again? The Casting Director : Actually, I tried to call to you. You didn't need to come down here today. Joey Tribbiani : Oh great! Y'know I would've been perfect for this part, but whatever! Y'know, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! The Casting Director : Wait Joey! You didn't need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it. Joey Tribbiani : And scene! Huh? Wasn't that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying? The Casting Director : Well, the director thinks you're really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Sure! That's great! The Casting Director : Oh and your agent said you were okay with the nudity. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as it's handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold. The Casting Director : Terrific! Well uh, there's one more thing. Uhh, uh it's really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how she's never seen a naked man who wasn't Jewish. So... Joey Tribbiani : So...What? The Casting Director : So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what I'm saying? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! The Casting Director : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : No. What? The Casting Director : An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be... Joey Tribbiani : Barmifsaed? Monica Geller : So to get this part you can't be? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Monica Geller : But you are? Joey Tribbiani : Yep. Monica Geller : But you told them you weren't? Joey Tribbiani : That's right. Monica Geller : Wow! Wow! And it's definitely all gone? There's nothing there to work with? What were you thinking? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell 'em you can! And just figure out how to do it later. Monica Geller : Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to...grow a turtleneck! Joey Tribbiani : I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like. Monica Geller : Oh my God, what are you gonna do?! Joey Tribbiani : I just have to call my agent and tell her I can't do the part. Monica Geller : Unless! Joey Tribbiani : Unless what? Monica Geller : Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion. Joey Tribbiani : Like what? Monica Geller : Well I'm not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head I'm thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! I've got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyone's names in them and inside is everyone's individual birth stone. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still don't have a guest list. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know that's coming? Me. Are you? Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! What's up Mon? Monica Geller : Well uh, I'm trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge? Rachel Green : Have at it. Monica Geller : Okay. All right, turkey. Eh, that won't work. Cheese? That won't work. Olive loaf? I hope that won't work. Rachel Green : Are you makin' him a sandwich? Monica Geller : No it's umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, I'm gonna go guys. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! Rachel Green : We have to get her a present?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay but look! Look at what I got! It's her address book! We have a guest list! Rachel Green : Oh my God you're amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. Ross Geller : Cassie?! Cassie Geller : Hey Ross! Ross Geller : Hey! Cassie Geller : It's been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi. Ross Geller : Oh. Oh, that's right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didn't. Cassie Geller : Ah yeah, sorry about that. Ross Geller : It's okay. Come, come on in. Cassie Geller : Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monica's place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot. Ross Geller : Oh. Cassie Geller : Oh my God! You do a great Chandler! Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions. Cassie Geller : Well, maybe after we get reacquainted uh, you can do me. Ross Geller : Yeah-No!! Ross Geller : Cassie, how you-how you doin' on that...hot dog. Cassie Geller : I'm all done. Ross Geller : Thank God. Cassie Geller : I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together. Ross Geller : Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you 'til you cried? We're probably too old to do that now. Cassie Geller : I'll always remember that summer, because it's when I got all of these freckles. Ross Geller : Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and I'll always remember that summer because that's when I realized that we are related. Cassie Geller : It took you that long to figure it out, huh? Ross Geller : Well I'm, I'm a little slow. Just as our children would be. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Woman : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : How are you? Good. Hi, thanks for coming. Woman : Oh thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. No? All right. Oh, it's so nice to see you. Woman : No. The Other Woman : No thanks. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Hey Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Who the hell are all these people? Rachel Green : Well, I don't know. I called all the people in Monica's phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice. Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, y'know there's another word for people like that. Losers! Rachel Green : Hi! I'm Rachel. This is Phoebe. I'm the maid of honor. How do you know Monica? Woman : I was her accountant four years ago. Rachel Green : Ohhhh! Woman : I'm very interested to find out who's been doing her taxes these last four years. Rachel Green : That's great! Woman : So, what time is Monica supposed to get here? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. Rachel Green : Excuse us for a minute. You didn't tell her to come?! Phoebe Buffay : You were supposed to tell her! Rachel Green : No I wasn't! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake! Phoebe Buffay : Fine, I'll go call her. Rachel Green : Yes! And please tell her to bring a cake! Monica Geller : Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! This looks great! Monica Geller : Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. Umm, this one is made of bologna. Joey Tribbiani : And-and-and-and-and the toothpicks? Monica Geller : Oh, just until the glue dries. Joey Tribbiani : Thank God! Monica Geller : Now, these are-are more realistic, but perishable. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Monica Geller : Okay? Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know it's gonna shrink. Joey Tribbiani : Well maybe we just take that one away. Monica Geller : I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, that's really just for me. Okay. So, why don't you go into your room and try these on and we'll see-get a better idea of what's gonna work. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird. Joey Tribbiani : Ow! Monica Geller : Toothpick? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : What are you trying on now? Joey Tribbiani : The fruit roll up. Monica Geller : And? Joey Tribbiani : Delicious. Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner! Monica Geller : What?! Which one?! Joey Tribbiani : The Silly Putty! It's not so silly anymore! Ross Geller : She's your cousin. She's your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head she'd think you were sick! Or would she? Let's back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logan's Run, the sexiest movie ever. Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. I'm going in. Cassie Geller : Hey! What the hell are you doing?! Ross Geller : Say something clever! Okay, doesn't have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. Any words will do. Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! I-I, I uh haven't had sex in a very long time. Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Rachel! It's Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! Oh. Rachel Green : Oh Monica, we are so sorry. Monica Geller : For what? Rachel Green : Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower. Phoebe Buffay : And then for forgetting to invite you to it. Monica Geller : You al-you already had it? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave. Rachel Green : Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you don't have either. Phoebe Buffay : We ruined everything. Rachel Green : Ugh... Monica Geller : Well no wait a minute that's not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best. Rachel Green : What do you, what do you mean? Monica Geller : Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents without having to talk to people I don't even like! Rachel Green : Surprise... Phoebe Buffay : Sur-surprise. Rachel Green : ...Monica. Joey Tribbiani : And what's cool is, the character is from Naples, right? The Director : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : My whole family's from Naples! The Director : Oh that's great! Okay, well I've heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie... The Casting Director : Joey, this is awkward part. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. I totally understand. You need to y'know make sure I don't have any horrible scars or tattoos. Don't you worry; I have nothing to hide. So there you go, that's me. One hundred percent natural! I tell ya, that has never happened before. Phoebe Buffay : Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there? Cassie Geller : Yeah! Thank you so much for letting me stay here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! No problem! I... Cassie Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! She's not your cousin! Rachel Green : Hey! Out of all of us, who do you think is gonna get married next? Joey Tribbiani : Probably Monica and Chandler. Woman : Hi. Could I have a pack of Newport Lights, please? Gunther : Oh umm, uh we don't sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. Woman : That'd be great, thanks. Rachel Green : Oh my God, Melissa Warburton. I don't think I have the energy for this. Melissa Warburton : Oh my God! Ray-ray Green?! Rachel Green : Melissa! Melissa Warburton : You have been M.I.A for the past seven sorority newsletters, what's up with you?! Rachel Green : Wh--Why don't I tell you over here? Melissa Warburton : So last I heard you were gonna get married. Oh poor Ray-ray. Rachel Green : Oh no-no, no! It's good! It's all good! I-I actually work at Ralph Lauren! Melissa Warburton : Shut up! Rachel Green : I will not! I'm the divisional head of men's sportswear! Melissa Warburton : Oh shut up more! Now, are you friends with Ralph? Rachel Green : Oh please... Melissa Warburton : Are you?! Rachel Green : No. Melissa Warburton : Listen, we-we have to have dinner. What-what are you doing tomorrow night? Rachel Green : Oh tomorrow, oh I don't know. Um... Melissa Warburton : You do now. You're having dinner with me. Rachel Green : Shut up. Melissa Warburton : I-I've got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! Oh, there you are. Umm, so listen, just call me. Here's my card. Rachel Green : Oh, wow thanks! Oh you're in real estate! Melissa Warburton : Oh no, that's-that's an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference. Rachel Green : Wow! What do you do now? Melissa Warburton : I'm a party planner. I'll see you tomorrow. Rachel Green : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Look who's back! It's Ray-ray! Rachel Green : Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college. Ross Geller : She seems really, really fun! Rachel Green : She's actually very sweet and we used to be very close. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, she isn't... She's not the one who you... Joey Tribbiani : Who you what? Who you what?! Rachel Green : Yes. Monica Geller : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Wow? Wow what?! Wow what?! Who you-what?!! Rachel Green : It's not a big deal! Monica Geller : They were lovers. Ross Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : No we weren't! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and y'know, ended up...kissing for a bit. Ross Geller : So that's two of my wives. Monica Geller : Okay so this is where the band is. And this is where the bar is. And all these pins have people's names on them. And Rach, here you are. Rachel Green : Oh wow. Why don't we just take me and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. These pins aren't for playing are they? Monica Geller : Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours. Chandler Bing : This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins. Monica Geller : Chandler, relax it's not a contest. Certainly not a close one. Joey Tribbiani : Hello! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Stop picturing it!! Monica Geller : Okay, I think that's it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like they're having fun don't they? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so where are my parents gonna be? Monica Geller : Oh! Let's see, well...if this is the wedding hall then umm you're parents will be at home in Queens. Joey Tribbiani : What they're not invited?! Oh no, that's terrible! They're gonna be crushed! Monica Geller : Why would they think they're invited? Joey Tribbiani : You got me. I don't... Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm sorry. I thought parents were coming! Y'know? Your parents are comin'! Chandler's parents are comin'! Ross's parents are comin'! Monica Geller : Ross's parents are my parents! Joey Tribbiani : Well-well-see? Parents are comin'! Chandler Bing : Y'know I think we should invite them. Monica Geller : Oh please, you just want more blue pins. Chandler Bing : Well this is just sad! Monica Geller : All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar! Rachel Green : That is not a problem. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you'll order a little sangria? Rachel Green : Oh, get out of here! Rachel Green : So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if there's anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. But these are the three that Monica pre-approved. Chandler Bing : Well, thanks a lot for hookin' me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest. Rachel Green : I'm Monica's maid of honor. Okay? Don't try to blue pin me! Chandler Bing : Well, what's the deal with these? These-these look nice. Rachel Green : Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when they're done with them they just send 'em back. Chandler Bing : You mean like for award shows? Rachel Green : Some of them. Chandler Bing : You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!" Rachel Green : Honey, might I suggest watching a little more ESPN and a little less E!? Chandler Bing : Okay, who wore those? Rachel Green : Umm, well let's see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw. Chandler Bing : Not bad. Rachel Green : This one is uh Paul O'Neil. Chandler Bing : Who's that? Rachel Green : He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan! Chandler Bing : Pierce Brosnan? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : 007?! This is James Bond's tux?! Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Oh, I have to get married in James Bond's tux! Rachel Green : It's a pretty cool tux. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's not just that, I would be England's most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majesty's secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. Would Monica let me wear this? Joey Tribbiani : We should really learn how to play the real way. Phoebe Buffay : I like our way. Oh! Chess! Joey Tribbiani : Nice move. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one? Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm performing the ceremony. I'm not wearing a tux. Rachel Green : Well, what are you going to wear? Joey Tribbiani : Multi-colored robes! Ooh, and maybe a hat. Rachel Green : Huh. Does Monica know about this? Joey Tribbiani : I don't think so. Rachel Green : Can I please be there when you tell her? Phoebe Buffay : Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight? Rachel Green : Oh, y'know what? I can't. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl. Joey Tribbiani : Can I come?! I won't even talk! You'll just hear the noise from my video camera. Phoebe Buffay : What is this? What's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?! Rachel Green : Well, do you want to hear what actually happened or Joey's lewd version? Phoebe Buffay : Joey's! Joey Tribbiani : Okay... Rachel Green : Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time...she and I y'know...kissed a little bit. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm sure that happened. Rachel Green : It-it did! Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. It happened! Rachel Green : Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes! Phoebe Buffay : Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek. Joey Tribbiani : Why are you taking this away from me? Rachel Green : Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! I just-I didn't know that you are a lesbian. Rachel Green : I'm not saying that I'm a lesbian! I'm just saying that this happened! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, it just seems pretty wild and you're so-y'know so...vanilla. Rachel Green : Vanilla?! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : I'm not vanilla! I've done lots of crazy things! I mean I got-I got drunk and married in Vegas! Phoebe Buffay : To Ross. Rachel Green : All right, y'know what? If you don't want to believe me about this, why don't you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! All right! Yeah! 'Cause I just can't picture it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-ho, you should get inside my head. Ross Geller : Hey! Guess what I got for your wedding! Chandler Bing : A freakish thin date with a hanger for her head? Ross Geller : No. Rachel hooked me up with a tux! But not just any tux, Batman's tux! Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : That's right! Made expressly for Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film...that Batman film he was in. Chandler Bing : You can't wear that! I'm wearing the famous tux! James Bond's tux! Ross Geller : So? Chandler Bing : So-If you wear that you'll make mine less special. Ross Geller : Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love. Chandler Bing : Please, don't take away my cool thing. Please?! Pretty please?! Ross Geller : Pretty please? Not very uh, 007. Chandler Bing : Look, it's my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you. Ross Geller : When I got married you slept with my sister. Chandler Bing : That was pretty 007. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Oh good-good you're here! All right, I figured it out. I'm gonna take two tables of eight, I'm gonna add your parents, and I'm gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they're not coming. Monica Geller : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They...feel a little unwanted. Monica Geller : Oh that's too bad. It's true, but too bad. Joey Tribbiani : Look Mon, if you could just call my mom... Monica Geller : Oh Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! Look just-just tell-let her know that you really want them to be there. Let's not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years. Monica Geller : No she hasn't. Joey Tribbiani : Is it her fault that some of them didn't make it to you? Monica Geller : Well, what am I going to say? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Just uh, just tell 'em it was a mix-up with the invitations, or-No-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I don't think you can blame it on them so... Monica Geller : Hello? Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? Hi, this is Monica Geller. Yeah I'm just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent weren't delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! T-Tell me about it! Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! What are they Irish?! Melissa Warburton : ...anyway, his name is Allan and we've been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh, that's great! Melissa Warburton : Hmm Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority? Phoebe Buffay : Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon. Melissa Warburton : What one? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Y'know, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning. Melissa Warburton : Oh, isn't a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? Rachel Green : Anyway, speaking of drinking too much. I was uh, tellin' Phoebe about that one crazy night after the Sigma Chi luau where you and I uh, we made out. Melissa Warburton : What? Rachel Green : Remember?! We-come on both had the sarongs on, and we had the-the coconut bikini tops... Melissa Warburton : Yeah? Rachel Green : ...we went back the house and we got really silly and we...we made out. Melissa Warburton : Oh wow, Ray-ray I have no idea what you're talking about. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Chandler Bing : Ross is Batman! Monica Geller : Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time. Chandler Bing : Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond! Monica Geller : What are you talking about?! 007 has all those gadgets! Chandler Bing : Batman has a utility belt! Monica Geller : 007 has a fancy car! Chandler Bing : Batman has the Batmobile! Monica Geller : 007 gets all the ladies. Chandler Bing : Batman has Robin! We get ESPN right? Monica Geller : How about you go put on your 007 tuxedo and I'll make you a nice martini. Chandler Bing : Actually, I don't like martinis. Monica Geller : How about a Youhoo with a funny straw? Chandler Bing : Ooh, yum! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six? Monica Geller : The show?! Joey Tribbiani : Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, it's gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right? Monica Geller : Have you ever been to one of my weddings? Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is it's the same day as my niece's christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. 'Cause my part's just in the beginning I'm not even in the rest of the show-Wedding! Monica Geller : The wedding starts at six. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little 'til they get there? Monica Geller : You'll vamp?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah y'know, like warm up the crowd. Ask 'em where they're from. 'Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. I'm a minis-tainer! There is no one better! There is no one greater! Rachel Green : How can you not remember us kissing?! Melissa Warburton : I don't know. I don't remember a lot of things that never happened. Rachel Green : Wh... Come on! Remember? We were on the sleeping porch! We couldn't stop giggling? And our coconuts kept knockin' together? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, somewhere Joey's head is exploding. Rachel Green : Yeah-but come on-Listen, I'm sorry I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesn't believe me. Melissa Warburton : I'm sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping. Rachel Green : No!! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel, it's okay. You don't have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa. Rachel Green : Thank you Phoebe. Melissa Warburton : She didn't. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : You just carry that around? Ross Geller : Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece. Monica Geller : Between you and... Ross Geller : Gunther. Hey-hey! Why don't we put them on? Y'know get a picture of Batman and James Bond together. Chandler Bing : I would but mine doesn't fit. The pants are a little tight. Monica Geller : A little tight? I could see double-oh and seven in those pants. Ross Geller : Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together. Chandler Bing : Well, does that mean that you're not going to wearing yours? Ross Geller : What are you kidding? It's Batman's tux!! Chandler Bing : Let me try it on! Ross Geller : Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin' in there. Chandler Bing : Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! What's this? Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didn't wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy! Ross Geller : Let me see that! Oh man! Chandler Bing : The only superpower you have is a slightly heightened sense of smell. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second? Monica Geller : All right that's it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I don't care! Joey Tribbiani : No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. They're so happy they get to be a part of your special day. Monica Geller : Oh. Chandler Bing : Well, you're welcome. And tell them we're really glad they're coming. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this is for party time. Rachel Green : It happened! I am telling you it happened! Melissa Warburton : Okay. Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I don't think I'll be calling you because umm, y'know you've gotten weird. Take care you guys. Rachel Green : What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and I'm not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you don't remember that, maybe you will remember this! Melissa Warburton : My God! You love me! Rachel Green : What? Melissa Warburton : Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin' together I... I just didn't want to tell you 'cause I didn't think that you'd return my love, and now that you have... Rachel Green : Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Melissa Warburton : Aww, look who's being suddenly shy. You can't tell me you don't feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and not mean it. Rachel Green : I-I-I-I'm just...I'm just a good kisser! Melissa Warburton : Shut up! Rachel Green : I'm sorry! Melissa Warburton : Oh you don't have to be sorry. I'm...I'm obviously kidding. I'm not in love with you. I'm not in love with her. I don't hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I don't...picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh...kiss good-bye? No? Okay. Rachel Green : Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna... Rachel Green : What the hell was that?! Phoebe Buffay : I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Rachel Green : And? Phoebe Buffay : I've had better. Chandler Bing : All right! I found one that fits! Rachel Green : Well y'know what they say, the 23rd time's the charm. Aww, look at you all handsome! Chandler Bing : Whose is it? Rachel Green : Oh does it matter?! All that matters is that you look so handsome. Chandler Bing : Whose is it? Rachel Green : I don't want to say. Chandler Bing : Oh, come on! I don't care! Come on! Whose is it? Rachel Green : Diane Keeton. Monica Geller : Do you realize that four weeks from today we're getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!! Chandler Bing : Do you realize you get louder each week? Monica Geller : There's still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet? Chandler Bing : I figured I'd buy those. Pat, I'd like to buy a vow. Monica Geller : Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding. Chandler Bing : Right. So uh, have you written yours yet? Monica Geller : No! But I know exactly what I'm going to say. Chandler Bing : Do you happen to know what I'm going to say? Monica Geller : Let's just do it right now. Okay? It won't be hard. Just say what's in your heart. Chandler Bing : Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! What's wrong with me? Ooh, don't open that door. Chandler Bing : Monica, there are no words... There are no words! This should not be this hard! Joey Tribbiani : All right, uh... Oh hey, you've done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows? Ross Geller : Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise. Chandler Bing : I'm so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You should've seen her. Writing, writing, writing! Rachel Green : Monica what? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Rachel Green : What is the emergency?! Monica Geller : You have to help me! I'm supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! Rachel Green : Well, I like the pretty little drawing of you in the wedding dress. Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, except your breasts look kinda small. Monica Geller : Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Yeah! Ross Geller : Well, why don't you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm not sure I can do that. Ross Geller : ...everyone, this is Chandler! Monica Geller : Hi, I'm Ross's little sister. Chandler Bing : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Okay. Okay. Umm, maybe you can start with, "Chandler, even though we were friends; there was a part of me that always knew I wanted more." Chandler Bing : All right, there's a nuclear holocaust, I'm the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me? Monica Geller : Ennnh. Monica Geller : Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?! Phoebe Buffay : Well maybe you don't talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about y'know all the things that he's taught you. Like... Or all the things you taught him. Monica Geller : Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. You got one, two three, four , five, six, and seven! Chandler Bing : There are seven?! That's one? Monica Geller : It's kind of an important one! Chandler Bing : Oh, y'know-y'know what, I was looking at it upside down. Rachel Green : Well, y'know, sometimes that helps. Monica Geller : All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 ...7.....7...7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7...! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica... Chandler Bing : Monica... Joey Tribbiani : "...when I look back over our time together..." Chandler Bing : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I can't do everything! Look back over your time together. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute. Monica Geller : No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two? Chandler Bing : You'll get one. Monica Geller : Oh yeah? When? Chandler Bing : All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one? Monica Geller : Why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically. Monica Geller : Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? Chandler Bing : No, no, no. Monica Geller : What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me? Chandler Bing : Uh, uh. Monica Geller : Well? Chandler Bing : Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! Ross Geller : I'm getting married today!! Ahh, whoo-hoo!! Monica Geller : Do you think he knew I was here? Chandler Bing : Nice try. Monica Geller : Wait, wait, wait! Chandler Bing : Look, Monica... Monica Geller : Look! Chandler Bing : This is not going to work. Monica Geller : I bet this will work! Chandler Bing : You are so great! I love you! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking! Monica Geller : You said you loved me! I can't believe this! Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Monica Geller : Yes, you did! Chandler Bing : No I didn't! Monica Geller : You love me! Chandler Bing : No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Chandler Bing : Y'know I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here? Monica Geller : Then all your stuff would be here. Chandler Bing : Well, what if all my stuff was here? Monica Geller : Then you'd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesn't make any sense. Chandler Bing : Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what I'm saying? Monica Geller : You wanted it to be a surprise. Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Chandler... In all my life... I never thought I would be so lucky. As to...fall in love with my best...my best... There's a reason why girls don't do this! Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought... Wait a minute, I-I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me? Monica Geller : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Can we come it yet?! We're dying out here! Monica Geller : Come in! Come in! We're engaged!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey, what have you guys been up to? Ross Geller : Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions. Joey Tribbiani : How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate? Ross Geller : How's Monica coming along with her vows? Phoebe Buffay : Well let's just say its she's lucky she has a sweet ass, 'cause she's not so good at the writing. Ross Geller : I can't believe in four weeks they're gonna be married! Phoebe Buffay : Well let's just hope it works. Y'know nine out of ten marriages end in divorce? Ross Geller : Phoebe that's not true. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you're right. How's the Mrs.? Rachel Green : I can't believe they've been together for three years. Joey Tribbiani : Has it been that long?! Ross Geller : Believe me, it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in! Chandler Bing : I've had a very long, hard day. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some? Chandler Bing : Ahh, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken. Monica Geller : Chicken? I could eat some chicken. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! Chandler Bing : Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke--Diet Coke. Rachel Green : I don't know why they didn't just tell us. Joey Tribbiani : I know! I mean it's not like we weren't cool about it. Joey Tribbiani : You?! And-and you?! Monica Geller : Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows! Joey Tribbiani : How?! When?! Chandler Bing : It happened in London. Joey Tribbiani : IN LONDON!!! Chandler Bing : The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Joey Tribbiani : But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone! Chandler Bing : No-no-no-no-no! You can't! Monica Geller : Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Man, this is unbelievable! Monica Geller : I can't wait to be with you! I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours. Chandler Bing : Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? Monica Geller : Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big... Rachel Green : Arghh!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!! Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!! Rachel Green : OH MY GOD!!! Phoebe Buffay : OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!! Rachel Green : Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!! Phoebe Buffay : NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!! Rachel Green : I KNOW!! I KNOW!! I KNOW! Phoebe Buffay : YOU KNOW?!!! Rachel Green : Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!! Ross Geller : What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh!!! Rachel Green : HI!! Hi! Ross Geller : What?! What?! Rachel Green : Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment! Ross Geller : Actually, it looks really good. Phoebe Buffay : Get in here!!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over! Phoebe Buffay : Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own Rachel Green : All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie. Monica Geller : Bye! #ALL# : Bye! Phoebe Buffay : Bye Chandler! I miss you already. Chandler Bing : Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!! Monica Geller : Actually, I did! Chandler Bing : Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me? Monica Geller : Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us! Chandler Bing : Phoebe knows about us! Joey Tribbiani : Well I didn't tell them! Monica Geller : Them?! Who's them? Joey Tribbiani : Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey. Monica Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell! Monica Geller : Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So... Chandler Bing : Ahh yes, the messers become the messies! Phoebe Buffay : I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more! Rachel Green : Are you kidding?! Phoebe Buffay : No! Rachel Green : I can not believe he would do that to Mon-Whoa! Joey, do they know that we know? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : They know you know. Rachel Green : Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two! Phoebe Buffay : God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! Joey, you can't say anything! Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't even if I wanted too. Chandler Bing : Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her! Monica Geller : She's bluffing! Chandler Bing : Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! Phoebe Buffay : He's not backing down. He went to get lotion. Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! Rachel Green : Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Rachel Green : Okay! Joey Tribbiani : I like that! Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! Phoebe Buffay : Joey! Wow, you didn't rip off any buttons. Joey Tribbiani : It's not my first time. Monica Geller : You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks! Chandler Bing : Okay, give me a second! Did you clean up in here? Monica Geller : Of course. Chandler Bing : Oh, you're-you're going? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, not without you, lover. So, this is my bra. Chandler Bing : It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy were gonna have all the sex. Phoebe Buffay : You should be. I'm very bendy. I'm gonna kiss you now. Chandler Bing : Not if I kiss you first. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh. Chandler Bing : Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss. Phoebe Buffay : Here it comes. Our first kiss. Chandler Bing : Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya! Phoebe Buffay : And why not?! Chandler Bing : Because I'm in love with Monica!! Phoebe Buffay : You're-you're what?! Chandler Bing : Love her! That's right, I...LOVE...HER!!! I love her!! I love you, Monica. Monica Geller : I love you too Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : I just-I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love! Joey Tribbiani : So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows! Monica Geller : Well actually, Ross doesn't. Chandler Bing : Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet. Ross Geller : No! No! Wh... What are you doing?!! GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know, you're friend's getting married, it's gotta change things. Rachel Green : You really think it would be that different? Phoebe Buffay : How could it not be? I mean pretty soon they're gonna be having kids, and then they're just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe they're gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership. Rachel Green : Well, things change. Joey Tribbiani : I don't want them to move to a Volvo dealership! Ross Geller : It'll be okay Joe. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, I just...I like things the way they are. Rachel Green : Hey, who's this little naked guy? Ross Geller : That little naked guy would be me. Rachel Green : Aww, look at the little thing. Ross Geller : Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Chandler Bing : Who are those people? Ross Geller : Got me. Monica Geller : Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'. Rachel Green : Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there? Monica Geller : Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25? Ross Geller : Looks like a fun gang. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked! Ross Geller : Nono, that would be me again. Monica Geller : Hey, you guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : What's going on? Rachel Green : Well, we were just talkin' about you guys gettin' married and how great it is. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If that's what you really want. Monica Geller : Oh that's so sweet. Chandler Bing : So we both finished our vows. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh, can we read them? Monica Geller : Yeah, I don't hear Chandler's and he doesn't hear mine. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's beautiful. Joey Tribbiani : Funny one! That's good! Rachel Green : Monica, will-will you marry me? Joey Tribbiani : What? I don't get it. Ross Geller : Oh man, this is hilarious. Monica Geller : Chandler!! Chandler Bing : Don't worry honey, we'll make yours funnier. Chandler Bing : Okay, what do you guys think? Ross Geller : Dude! Joey Tribbiani : I have never known love like this. Chandler Bing : You really like it? Ross Geller : Dude! How-how did you write this? Chandler Bing : I stole Monica's and changed the name. Ross Geller : You can't do that! Joey Tribbiani : If he goes first he can! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought I'd take that bad boy out for a little spin. Rachel Green : Wait a minute! You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say you're the only one who's allowed to drive it. Monica Geller : Yeah, well he's my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it. Ross Geller : It's a car Monica! Not a rocket ship! Monica Geller : Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin' good. When do I get to take that baby out again? Rachel Green : You let Joey drive it?! Phoebe Buffay : I've never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time. Monica Geller : Nice work everybody! So much for the y'know, "You can drive it, but don't tell Rachel" plan! Rachel Green : Wow! I can't believe you lied to me. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. Monica Geller : Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I won't let you drive the Porsche is because you're a terrible driver. There! That wasn't about the wedding. Ross Geller : Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche I'll be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you got a couple hours? Ross Geller : Whew! That was a brisk ride! Rachel Green : Take the top down did ya? Ross Geller : Only way to fly. Rachel Green : Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what she's talking about! I am an excellent driver! Ross Geller : You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver. Rachel Green : Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader. Ross Geller : Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy. Rachel Green : I think she's checking out your beehive Ross. Ross Geller : What?! Give-give me a brush. Rachel Green : Gimme the keys! Ross Geller : No way! Rachel Green : Well no brush! Ross Geller : Fine! Y'know what? It doesn't matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom. Rachel Green : Alimony. Monica Geller : Chandler, we still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad. Chandler Bing : Oh! Right. Umm, maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation. Monica Geller : Chandler! He's your father; he should be at the wedding. Chandler Bing : I don't even know the man. Okay? We're not the close. I haven't seen him in years. Monica Geller : Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasn't even asked?! Chandler Bing : Well he doesn't have to know! It's not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles. Chandler Bing : Trust me, you don't want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress. Monica Geller : So what! As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil I don't care. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. Rachel Green : Ahhh! Ooh, nice! Rachel Green : My God! Ross Geller : What do you think you're doing?! Rachel Green : Just washing the windshield. Ross Geller : There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why don't you just hand over the keys? Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! Rachel Green : Look Ross, if you're so freaked out, just get in the car! Ross Geller : With you?! Yeah right! Rachel Green : All right. Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Okay! Rachel Green : What are you doing?! Get in the front! Ross Geller : In the death seat?!! Rachel Green : Oh my... Man : Hey guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey sweetie! Man : Ready to go? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monica's. I'll be right back. Man : Wait a minute! Phoebe Buffay : What? Oh. Ooh. Whoa! That one kept going. Joey Tribbiani : So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out? Man : Over a month. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better. Man : Sure, I'd like that. Joey Tribbiani : So uh, what's your name? Man : Its Jake. Joey Tribbiani : Joey. Hey Jake, do you like the Knicks? Jake : Yeah, big fan. Joey Tribbiani : Me too! There's a game on Tuesday do you wanna go? Jake : Yeah that would be great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday. Monica Geller : Here! Chandler Bing : What's this? Monica Geller : It's your suitcase. We're going to Las Vegas. Chandler Bing : Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowers-Think of the money we'll save!! We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please? Monica Geller : We're going to Las Vegas to see your dad. It's time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law. Chandler Bing : Y'know we already went over this and I won! Monica Geller : No you didn't. Oh and honey just so you know, now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore. Chandler Bing : Look forget it okay? I don't want to go. I don't want to see him. I don't wanna. Monica Geller : Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know... Chandler Bing : No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, you'd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Y'know it's hard enough to be fourteen. You're skinny. You're wearing speedoes-That your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and there's your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack! Monica Geller : Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? That's a, that's a pretty great dad. Chandler Bing : He had sex with Mr. Girabaldi! Monica Geller : Who's Mr. Girabaldi? Chandler Bing : Does it matter?! Monica Geller : Chandler, you're not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe it's time that you let that stuff go. If your father's not at your wedding...you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life. Chandler Bing : Yeah o-okay, but I'm just doing this for you. Monica Geller : Yes! Chandler Bing : So I really never get to win anymore? Monica Geller : How much did ever really win before? Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Listen, you know how uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Well, when Jake did it I saw that...he was wearing women's underwear! Phoebe Buffay : I know. They were mine. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. No! No wait, that's weird! Phoebe Buffay : No, it's not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on. Joey Tribbiani : That's weird! Phoebe Buffay : I'm wearing his briefs right now. Joey Tribbiani : That's...kinda hot. Phoebe Buffay : I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I wouldn't know about that. Phoebe Buffay : And! Y'know what Jake says? That women's underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well next thing you know, he'll be telling you that your high heels are good for his posture! Phoebe Buffay : There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! I'm thinking even more than you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, he looked like a real lumberjack in those pink laceys. Phoebe Buffay : I'm just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in women's underwear! I don't think you could ever do that. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I am secure with my masculinity. Phoebe Buffay : Okay whatever. Joey Tribbiani : You've seen my huge stack of porn right? Rachel Green : God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed. Ross Geller : You don't have a valid driver's license-Okay that is it! Pull over right now! Rachel Green : Oh Ross you're so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax... Ross Geller : What-what are you doing?! Are you-Okay that's not funny! Just stop horsing around! Rachel Green : I am not horsing around okay? I am Porsching around. Rachel Green : Uh-oh. Ross Geller : Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble. Rachel Green : Really? You think so? Ross Geller : I was talking to myself! You're going down! Waiter In Drag : You're straight. I get it. Monica Geller : I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats. Chandler Bing : No! No! I don't want him to know we're yet! I'm not sure I'm ready for that. And besides he's not gonna be too happy to see me either. Monica Geller : Why not?! Chandler Bing : I don't know if I've told you this, but he's kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, he's made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Y'know it's all very Cats in the Cradle-I don't want to get into it. Here we go. Announcer : Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket! Helena : Hello darlings. Chandler Bing : And there's daddy! Rachel Green : Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! I'll go under, you go over! Ross Geller : Yeah, I'll get right on that. Rachel Green : Oh come on Ross!! Ross Geller : No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, I'm sure we won't get arrested for this. Rachel Green : Hi officer, was I going a little too fast? Ross Geller : Oh my God. Policeman : Can I see your license please? Rachel Green : Oh yes, absolutely! Y'know, it's weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh...well I probably shouldn't tell you the rest. Policeman : Your license? Rachel Green : Yes. Here you go Officer uh, Handsome. Policeman : That's Hanson. Rachel Green : Oops sorry, my mistake. Ross Geller : Dear Lord!! Policeman : Wow! Ross Geller : Here it comes. Policeman : This is a great picture. Rachel Green : Really?! You think so? Y'know, I had just rolled out of bed. Policeman : Yeah? Well you look phenomenal. Ross Geller : Well she should, it was taken ten years ago! Rachel Green : Y'know you're-you're probably wondering about the old date on there. Policeman : Yes I am. Rachel Green : Yeah. Policeman : You're an Aquarius, huh? Rachel Green : I bet you're a Gemini. Policeman : Nope. Rachel Green : Taurus? Policeman : Nope. Rachel Green : Virgo? Policeman : Nope. Rachel Green : Sagittarius? Policeman : Yep. Rachel Green : I knew it! I knew it, ahh.... Policeman : Well I tell you what... Rachel Green : Yeah? Policeman : You're not gonna speed anymore right? Rachel Green : I won't speed. Policeman : And you promise you'll get this taken care of right away? Rachel Green : I promise. Policeman : And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license? Rachel Green : Yeah! Policeman : Can he handle the stick? Rachel Green : Oh well... Ross Geller : I can handle the stick!! Helena : I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and... #ALL# : Gay! Monica Geller : That can't be your father. Chandler Bing : Believe me, I've been saying that for years. Oh my God! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : That's Mr. Girabaldi playing the piano. Helena : For I'm loved by a pretty wonderful boy! Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. Chandler Bing : He's coming into the audience. He's coming into the audience. Monica Geller : Relax! You'll be fine. Oh much better. You're invisible now. Helena : Where are you from? Guy : Bakersfield. Helena : I'm sorry? Guy : Bakersfield! Helena : No-no I heard! I'm just sorry. Chandler Bing : It can't happen like this. Okay? I'll meet you back at the hotel. Helena : Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. Monica Geller : Can we have our drinks please?! Waiter-Uh, tress! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Check it out. How much of a man am I?! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : The silk? Feels really good! Phoebe Buffay : Huh. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And-and things aren't as...smashed down as I thought they were gonna be. Phoebe Buffay : That's great Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! And you have so many more choices than you do with men's underwear! Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : Bikini, French cut, thong! And-and the fabrics! You've got cotton, silk, lace! And y'know what I've always wondered about? Phoebe Buffay : Hmm? Joey Tribbiani : Pantyhose! Y'know? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here... I should go take these off shouldn't I? Phoebe Buffay : I think it's important that you do. Helena : So what's your name? Chandler Bing : Chandler. Helena : Chandler? What an unusual name! You must've had terribly fascinating parents. Chandler Bing : Oh, they're a hoot. Helena : And who is your friend? Monica Geller : I'm-I'm Monica. Helena : Monica! Where are you from? Monica Geller : New York. Helena : I'm not very fond of New York. Queens I like. Ooh, what is this sparkle something! Honey! Huh? Chandler Bing : Actually Monica and I are engaged. Helena : Really?! Congratulations. When's the big day? Monica Geller : In...in two weeks. Helena : I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. So you're bald? Chandler Bing : Wait! Wait! We'd really love it if you could be there. Helena : We? Chandler Bing : I know it would make me happy, ma'am. Helena : Well I wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh! I'm getting all misty here! You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something. Monica Geller : You okay? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Thanks for making me do this. Helena : Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life... It's raining men! The Chorus Line : Hallelujah! Helena : It's raining men! The Chorus Line : Amen! Chandler Bing : When I was growing up I...played the one on the far left. Rachel Green : Remind me to introduce you to someone! Ross Geller : Who? Rachel Green : Fourth gear!! Ross Geller : What?! What does he want?! I wasn't doing anything! Rachel Green : Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two o'clock position. Ross Geller : Maybe it's uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! Rachel Green : It's a different guy! Ross Geller : Good evening officer. Policeman : Do you know how fast you were traveling back there? Ross Geller : Ah no. I don't, but it could not have been more than sixty. Policeman : You're right. It was 37. Ross Geller : I mean you're not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya? Policeman : That's right. Ross Geller : Y'know of-officer I uh...I had the weirdest dream last night... Rachel Green : Oh my God! Policeman : Your license please. Ross Geller : You don't-you don't want to hear about my dream Officer...Pretty? Policeman : It's Petty. I'll be right back with your ticket. Rachel Green : You have a son! Ross Geller : I know. I know. Phoebe Buffay : Feel better? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that I'm y'know insecure about my manhood or anything y'know, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I understand. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Okay! Hey! Hi! Woman : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere? Woman : I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Maybe it's because I'm on television. I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives. Woman : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Woman : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Hm-mmm. Waitress : $4.50 please. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, let me get this. These are for you. Monica Geller : Do you realize this is probably the last time we'll all be here in the coffee house as six single people? Phoebe Buffay : Why?! What's happening to the coffee house?! Oh! Chandler Bing : Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain. Monica Geller : Old? Chandler Bing : The young hot ball and chain. Monica Geller : That's much better. Rachel Green : Op! We gotta go! Ross Geller : Oh, where are you guys going? Monica Geller : We're gonna pick up the wedding dress then we're gonna have lunch with mom. Ross Geller : Ah. Joey you're-you're having lunch with my mom? Joey Tribbiani : No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! Ross Geller : Y'know what? Actually I'm kinda glad they're leaving 'cause uh, I need to talk to you about something. Chandler Bing : What's up? Ross Geller : Well this uh, this may be a little awkward. Chandler Bing : Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night. Ross Geller : No, its...Its not that. Umm, now what I'm going to say to you, I'm not saying as your friend. Okay? I'm-I'm saying as it as Monica's older brother. Chandler Bing : But you're still my friend? Ross Geller : Not for the next few minutes. Chandler Bing : During this time...are you, are you still my best man? Ross Geller : Nope. Chandler Bing : Do I still call you Ross? Ross Geller : Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monica's older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! What? I'm-I'm-I'm serious! Come-Hey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? I'm-I'm not kidding here! Chandler Bing : Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning. Ross Geller : No problem. Chandler Bing : So are we...friends again? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Okay. You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me! Rachel Green : What 'cha doing Mon? Monica Geller : I'm making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared. Phoebe Buffay : What are they? Monica Geller : Well, so far I have uh, my bride's maids dresses won't get picked up, my veil gets lost, or I don't have my something blue. Rachel Green : Hey! Those are all the things I'm responsible for! Monica Geller : I had to go with the odds Rach. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didn't get the part? Rachel Green : The commercial? Joey Tribbiani : No! Phoebe Buffay : That play? Joey Tribbiani : No! Monica Geller : That other play? Joey Tribbiani : Nooo! Phoebe Buffay : The movie? Joey Tribbiani : Yes!! Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Joey Tribbiani : Yes that's the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Back then y'know, we called the Great War. It really was! Joey Tribbiani : Well anyway, the guy they wanted backed out and now they want me! I start shooting today! Phoebe Buffay : Congratulations! Rachel Green : Oh that's great! Monica Geller : Wait! Wait! Wait! You can't start today! Today's the rehearsal dinner! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, I'll be done by then. Monica Geller : Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star! Joey Tribbiani : I know! All right, I'll see you guys over there! I'm off to fight the Nazis. Rachel Green : Oh, wait Joey! We fought the Nazis in World War II, not World War I. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Okay. Yeah well, who-who was in World War I? Phoebe Buffay : Go ahead. Rachel Green : You're gonna be late! Go! Go! Monica Geller : Who did we fight in World War I? Rachel Green : Mexico? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Very good. The Assistant Director : Hey Joey! We're ready. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Me too. The Assistant Director : Richard? We're ready for you. Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby he's playing Vincent. Joey Tribbiani : I'm doing my scenes with you? Richard Burke : Nice to meet you Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! I can't believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar! Richard Burke : No I didn't. Joey Tribbiani : I think you did. Richard Burke : I think I lost. Three times. Joey Tribbiani : Uh...Cookie? The Director : Okay! We're about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys don't mind, can we run it a couple of times? Richard Burke : Yeah, sure. The Director : Okay, all right. Let's do it. And...Action! Joey Tribbiani : We have to find the rest of the platoon! Richard Burke : Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Richard Burke : The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony! Joey Tribbiani : So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food! Richard Burke : No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta! The Director : Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong? Joey Tribbiani : No. Nope, I uh...I th-I thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Y'know? He's uh, he's a face toucher. The Director : I don't think so. Let's take it back to Richard's last line. Action! Richard Burke : We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! Monica Geller : Honey, we gotta go! Chandler Bing : Okay. Here's a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces. Monica Geller : I don't have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does. Chandler Bing : Yes, include more people in this. Monica Geller : Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow we'll be getting married? Chandler Bing : Wait a minute! I have a date tomorrow night. Monica Geller : I just, I can't believe that we made it! Chandler Bing : Well you don't have to sound so surprised. Monica Geller : I'm sorry but...nothing. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Well...honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out. Chandler Bing : Honestly? Me too. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Y'know I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and I'll go all...Chandler. But nothing has. Monica Geller : Ohh, I'm so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean it's really, it's made me stay calm. I coulda been worse! Chandler Bing : Okay. I'll be right there. Monica Geller : Hi! If you're calling before Saturday, you've reached Monica and Chandler. But if you're calling after Saturday, you've reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings! Monica Geller : Hey Maureen! Gosh! Hey uh, Chandler? This is my cousin Maureen. Chandler Bing : We're the Bings. Rachel Green : Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful! Chandler Bing : Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Ross Geller : Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler. Monica Geller : What is that? Ross Geller : Well I...I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, please! My make-up! Chandler Bing : Hi. Nora Tyler Bing : Chandler! Chandler Bing : Mom. Thanks for wearing something. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon there'll be lots of little Bings. Monica Geller : Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller. Judy Geller : It's lovely to meet you. Jack Geller : So are you his mother or his father? Judy Geller : Jack! Jack Geller : What?! I've never seen one before! Monica Geller : Dad! There's Ross , why don't you go talk to him? Jack Geller : I didn't even have a chance to act as though I'm okay with it! Charles Bing : Hello all! Chandler Bing : Hi...dad. Monica Geller : Hi Mr....Bing. Charles Bing : Nora! Nora Tyler Bing : Charles. Monica Geller : It-it's so great to see you both here. Charles Bing : Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that? Nora Tyler Bing : Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that? Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Jack Geller : ...of course you can kick his ass son. Judy Geller : You could kick anyone's ass you want too. Ross Geller : Thanks you guys. Monica Geller : Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandler's dad and try to keep him away from Chandler's mom? Rachel Green : Yeah! But I don't know what he looks like! Monica Geller : He is the man in the black dress. Rachel Green : Man in the black dress... Hi! I'm Rachel! I'm a friend of Monica and Chandler's! Woman : I'm Amanda. Rachel Green : Oh I get it! A...man...duh! Ross Geller : Can I have everyone's attention please? I'm uh; I'm Ross Geller. Jack Geller : Doctor Ross Geller. Ross Geller : Dad...dad, please! As I was saying umm, I'm Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and I'm the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, she's the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if you'd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple we're here to celebrate. To the Bings. #ALL# : To the Bings! Monica Geller : All right, I'm gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it? Rachel Green : I'll do it. Monica Geller : Who wants it? Anybody? Rachel Green : I said I'll do it! Monica Geller : Nobody wants to do it? All right, I'll do it myself. Rachel Green : Monica! I'm not gonna screw it up! Monica Geller : Y'know what? You're right, I'm sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely. Rachel Green : Well of course that is what I'm here for! Monica Geller : Okay. Sorry. Rachel Green : Ugh! What grandmother? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Where have you been? Ross Geller : Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Ross Geller : What? Are you going back to work? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Nice shades. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I won't get spit in the eyes, y'know? Ross Geller : And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I! Joey Tribbiani : Great! All right. I'll see you later. Ross Geller : Hey, where's Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I think he's in Rachel's room. See ya. Ross Geller : Chandler? Chandler? Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Is uh, is Monica here? Rachel Green : She's steaming her dress, why? What's up? Ross Geller : I think Chandler's gone. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : He left that. Rachel Green : Tell Monica I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : What's up? Tell Monica I'm sorry. Tell her yourself! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Chandler just left though! Rachel Green : Yeah but, maybe it's not what we think. Maybe it's tell Monica I'm sorry I...drank the last of the milk. Phoebe Buffay : Or maybe he-he was writing to tell her that-that he's changed his name, y'know? Tell Monica I'm sorry. Ross Geller : I think it means he freaked out and left! Phoebe Buffay : Don't be so negative! Good God! Isn't it possible that Sorry is sitting in there right now?! Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do? Ross Geller : Look-Okay, I'm just gonna-I'm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay? Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay but if you don't find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass! Ross Geller : I will, I will find him. Richard Burke : Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! They-they just redid my make-up! Richard Burke : Just the last two pages. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Richard Burke : I found the picture! Joey Tribbiani : Picture? What picture? Richard Burke : Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction. Joey Tribbiani : Okay uh, look I know you're a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff... Richard Burke : Oh, thanks. Joey Tribbiani : But you're spittin' all over me man! Richard Burke : Well of course I am! Joey Tribbiani : You know you've been spitting on me?! Richard Burke : That's what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Didn't know that. Richard Burke : Great! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks! Okay-okay check it out! Picture? What picture? Eh? Ross Geller : Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler? Gunther : No. No, I haven't seen him. Ross Geller : Oh damn! Gunther : He's getting married tomorrow right? Ross Geller : Yes. Yes. Don't worry. Everything's fine. We'll uh, we'll see you tomorrow at the wedding. Gunther : I wasn't invited. Ross Geller : Well then we'll-we'll see you the day after tomorrow. Mom?! Dad?! What-what...what you guys doing here?! Jack Geller : Well you kids talk about this place so much, we thought we'd see what all the fuss is about. Judy Geller : I certainly see what the girls like coming here. Ross Geller : Why?! Judy Geller : The sexy blonde behind the counter. Ross Geller : Gunther?! Jack Geller : Your mother just added him to her list. Ross Geller : What? Your-your list? Judy Geller : Yeah, the list that-of people we're allowed to sleep... Ross Geller : Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know I'm looking for him? Jack Geller : And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know I'm looking for her. The Director : Action! Richard Burke : I found the picture! Joey Tribbiani : What picture?! Richard Burke : The picture of my wife! In your pack! Joey Tribbiani : You went through my personal property? Richard Burke : Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?! Joey Tribbiani : Because Vincent, we were lovers. For two years! The Director : Cut! Wonderful! Joey Tribbiani : Great scene yeah? Richard Burke : Oh you're awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks a lot. The Assistant Director : Here's your call sheet for tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm-I'm not working tomorrow. The Assistant Director : You are now. Joey Tribbiani : No! No! I can't! You gotta get me out of it! I've got plans! Important plans! Rachel Green : Ross said there's still no word from Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Oh man. Rachel Green : Oh but he did say that they found the grandmother wandering down fifth avenue. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Well there's one down. Monica Geller : I'm getting married today!!! I think I just cracked a rib. But I don't care because today's my wedding day! My day is finally here!! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know she might not even notice he's gone. Monica Geller : I'm gonna start getting ready! Rachel Green : God! Don't-We can't let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait she'll be in the gown and then he won't show up and then she's gonna have to take off the gown... Phoebe Buffay : Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You can't do this here! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just...It's just so sad! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but you've got to pull yourself together! Monica can't see you like this! Then she'll know something's wrong! Rachel Green : I know. I know. Oh God. There's no tissue! Can you grab me some toilet paper? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, that's gone too. This is Monica's bathroom right?! Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : No-no! I-I...I found one. Rachel Green : Okay. Rachel Green : Oh thank you! Oh God! Can I have another one? Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Do you need some floss? Rachel Green : Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesn't show up! Phoebe Buffay : Oh here's a whole bunch. Rachel Green : Oh, I mean she's gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Y'know? Then she'll have to come back here and live all alone. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and it's positive. Monica's pregnant. So I guess she won't be totally alone. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : I know! Monica's gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new? Rachel Green : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off? Rachel Green : No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And I'm still holding this. Rachel Green : Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this. Phoebe Buffay : Right. Rachel Green : Okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using? Rachel Green : No. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Just for the future, this is hardly a commercial for it. Rachel Green : Anything? Ross Geller : No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasn't heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandler's parents again! Phoebe Buffay : You told them he was missing? Ross Geller : No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think I'm interested in them. Rachel Green : All right, we've got to tell her he's gone. Ross Geller : No! Hey! Hey! We can't! Rachel Green : Ross, she's gonna start getting ready soon! Ross Geller : Well, can't you at least stall her a little? I'll-I'll go back to some of the places I went last night. Rachel Green : All right, well how much time do you need? Ross Geller : Well how much time before she absolutely has to start getting ready? Rachel Green : One hour. Ross Geller : Give me two. Rachel Green : Then why do you ask?! Ross Geller : Okay, wish me luck. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. I'm going with you. Ross Geller : Why?! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, you're tired. You've been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this. Rachel Green : All right, I'll see you guys later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Wait, do you know how you're going to stall her? Rachel Green : I'll figure something out. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Good luck. Rachel Green : Thanks. Monica Geller : Hey! Okay, so I thought we'd start with my make up and then do my hair. Rachel Green : Okay uh, but before you do that. I-I, I need you to talk to me. Monica Geller : About what? Rachel Green : Umm... I'm never gonna getting married! Monica Geller : Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that? Rachel Green : No Monica! I'm serious! Oh, maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something. Monica Geller : Any woman would be lucky to have ya. Rachel Green : Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey. Monica Geller : Rachel! You okay? Joey Tribbiani : Excuse me, Aaron? Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasn't supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. It's my best friend's, and I'm officiating so I really can't work past four. The Director : Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We can't stop filming just for you. It's not like it's your wedding. Joey Tribbiani : I'm having surgery! The Director : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didn't want you to worry about me. But, I'm having surgery today. The Director : What kind of surgery?! Joey Tribbiani : Transplant. The Director : But you're supposed to work on Monday. Joey Tribbiani : Hair transplant. The Director : But you're not bald. Joey Tribbiani : It's not on my head. The Director : Look Joey, there's nothing I can do. Besides, you're probably gonna be out by four anyway. We've just got one short scene. It's just you and Richard, and God knows he's a pro. You'll be fine. Morning Richard. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You're here! Great! Great! Great! Let's get going buddy, we've got a scene to shoot! Richard Burke : I'm wearing two belts. Joey Tribbiani : Are you drunk? Richard Burke : No! Joey Tribbiani : Yes you are! Richard Burke : All right. Ross Geller : We are never gonna find him! He's one guy in a huge city! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Is that him? Ross Geller : That is an old, Chinese woman! Phoebe Buffay : He could be in disguise, y'know. Ross Geller : Aw, y'know...Y'know, maybe we're-we're just approaching this all wrong. If you're Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think you'd go? Ross Geller : So this is your office? Chandler Bing : How did you guys find me? I knew I should've hid at the gym! Phoebe Buffay : What the hell are you doing?! Chandler Bing : Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that I'm related to Monica. How is she? Ross Geller : She's fine. She doesn't know you're gone. And she doesn't have to know, okay? Now come on, we're going home. Chandler Bing : No! No! No! I can't do that! Phoebe Buffay : Why not?! Chandler Bing : Because if I go home, we're gonna become the Bings! I can't be the Bings! Ross Geller : What's wrong with being the Bings? Chandler Bing : The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games! Ross Geller : Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room? Chandler Bing : No. Ross Geller : Then you are neither of your parents! Chandler Bing : It's not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybody's! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And I've met me; I am not Paul Newman. I don't race cars! I don't make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity. Phoebe Buffay : But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this. Chandler Bing : I want to. I love her so much, but I'm afr...It's too huge. Ross Geller : Y'know, okay. You're right. It is huge. So why don't we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower? Chandler Bing : Well yeah, but then... Ross Geller : Yeah-No-but-but-but-but! We're just gonna go home and take a shower. Now, that's not scary right? Chandler Bing : Depends on what you mean by we. Rachel Green : The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes! And that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again... Monica Geller : The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel I'm sorry! I have to start getting ready! I'm getting married today! Rachel Green : I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me. Monica Geller : I'm gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! Rachel Green : Okay. But wait! Monica Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Let's go to lunch. Monica Geller : I can't go to lunch!! Rachel Green : Right. Rachel Green : Oh good God! I've fallen down! Monica Geller : What's going on? Rachel Green : Okay. All right. Honey listen. When I tell you what I'm about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you. Monica Geller : Okay, you're-you're really freaking me out. Rachel Green : We can't find Chandler...-'s vest. We can't find Chandler's vest. Monica Geller : How can that be?! Oh wait! Wait! Are you, are you serious?! Phoebe Buffay : Found the vest! I mean we're gonna have to keep an eye on it, y'know make sure we don't lose it again... Rachel Green : Oh! Monica Geller : Oh wow! Okay. Don't scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!" Joey Tribbiani : I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you! Richard Burke : That can be arranged. The Director : Let's reset. Joey Tribbiani : What?! He got me! Owwwwww!!! The Director : Let's take it from there. Richard Burke : Are you a little off today? It's going terribly slowly. Joey Tribbiani : Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And I'm the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together? Richard Burke : Of course! I'm-I'm sorry. I-I'd hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this! Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Thank you. The Director : Still rolling, annnnd action! Joey Tribbiani : I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you! Richard Burke : Now, that can be arranged! Slippery little bugger! Phoebe Buffay : So-so you two were married huh? What happened? You just drift apart? Judy Geller : Here comes the bride. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God Monica! Monica Geller : I wanna wear this everyday. Rachel Green : You look so beautiful. Monica Geller : I'm so happy for me. Rachel Green : Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Did Chandler show up yet? Rachel Green : Yeah, we got him back. Everything's fine. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Rachel Green : What? Why? Where are you? Joey Tribbiani : I'm still on the set! Rachel Green : Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I'm sorry! The guy's drunk, they won't let me go until we get this. Rachel Green : Oh my God! I'm gonna have to find another minister. Joey Tribbiani : No! No, I'm the minister! All right, look-look, put 'em both on the phone, I'll marry them right now. Rachel Green : Ugh! Joey, I have to go. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Don't you hang up on me! I'll marry you and me right now! I have the power! Ross Geller : There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasn't so scary, was it? Chandler Bing : No. Ross Geller : I'm telling you, just a little bit at a time. Chandler Bing : Yeah okay. Well, what's the next little bit? Ross Geller : Getting married. Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like you've done everything else! Chandler Bing : Yeah. You're right. Hey I-I can do that. Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Okay, excuse me for a minute. Ross Geller : Wh-Hey-Whoa-whoa, where, where you going?! Chandler Bing : Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air. Ross Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : Oh fresh air! Phoebe Buffay : Wait! Maybe, maybe you're overreacting! You do that y'know. Rachel Green : Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! Well, y'know. I mean there's no way Joey's gonna make it in time. So I'm gonna through the hotel and see if there's any other weddings going on. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Oh but don't tell them Monica's pregnant because, they frown on that. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {It's a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.} Congratulations. Mazel Tov! Hi! Oh, great hat. Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that? The Rabbi : I don't know. Are they Greek Orthodox? Rachel Green : Yeah! Yeah. They're...they're-they're my friends, uh, Monica Stephanopolus and uh, and Chandler Acidofolus. Ross Geller : Hi! Hi! Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler? Jack Geller : I thought he was with you. Ross Geller : He-he was with me umm, we're playing a little game, y'know? Hide and seek. Jack Geller : You can't ask us son, that's cheating. Ross Geller : You're right, thanks for keeping me honest dad. Judy Geller : Well, he better not come by here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress. Nora Tyler Bing : As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress. Charles Bing : But that was after the wedding, it's not bad luck then. Nora Tyler Bing : Honey, it isn't good luck. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Monica! Monica Geller : I know! Hey, how's Chandler doin'? Ross Geller : Great. He's doing great. Don't you worry about Chandler. Monica Geller : Are you okay? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Well, you're-you're sweating. Ross Geller : These-these are beads of joy. Monica Geller : Oh that's sweet. Don't touch me. Ross Geller : Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : What's going on? Ross Geller : Chandler's gone again! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?! Joey Tribbiani : Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guy's hammered! The Director : I'm sorry Joey, as long as he's here and he's conscious we're still shooting. Richard Burke : You wouldn't happen to have a very big fork? Joey Tribbiani : So I uh, I just talked to the director. That's it, we're done for the day. Richard Burke : Well have we finished the scene? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You...you were wonderful. Richard Burke : As were you. Joey Tribbiani : So I got your car, it's right outside. Richard Burke : Why? Are we done for the day? Joey Tribbiani : That's what you told me. Richard Burke : Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! Here we go. Richard Burke : Is that my ass? Ross Geller : There he is!! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Oh! Ross Geller : You're not getting away this time mister! Unless you want that ass kicking we talked about! Chandler Bing : Ross! Ross Geller : Hiiii-Ya!! I'm serious! You're not walking out on my sister! Chandler Bing : That's right! I'm not! Ross Geller : Then where the hell have you been?! Chandler Bing : I know about Monica. Phoebe Buffay : You know?! Ross Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I heard you and Rachel talking. Ross Geller : What?! What?! Talking about what?! Chandler Bing : You don't know? Ross Geller : Know what-If somebody doesn't tell me what's going on right now... Phoebe Buffay : What? You'll hi-ya? Chandler Bing : Monica's pregnant. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Oh my God! And you're-you're...you're not freaking out? Chandler Bing : Well I was! Then I went down to the gift shop because I was out of cigarettes... Phoebe Buffay : Cigarettes?!! Chandler Bing : Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and that's when I uh, saw this. New York.) Yeah, y'know what? I thought anything that can fit into this, can't be scary. Phoebe Buffay : Well you obviously didn't see Chucky 3. Chandler Bing : But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so she'd know I was okay. Ross Geller : Dude. Jack Geller : Way to go son! I knew you'd find him! Charles Bing : Our little boy is getting married. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh look at you! So handsome! Chandler Bing : You look beautiful mom. You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. I'm so glad you here. The Rabbi : Are you Chandler? Chandler Bing : Are you Joey? Ross Geller : Huh. This is nice. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce. Judy Geller : Oh I wish you're grandmother had lived to see this. Monica Geller : She's right there. Judy Geller : Not that old crow, my mother. Congratulations darling. Jack Geller : I love you sweetheart. Chandler Bing : You look beautiful. Is this new? Monica Geller : Not now. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Who is this? The Rabbi : I am Father Kalebasous. Chandler Bing : He's Greek Orthodox. Rachel Green : As are you... The Rabbi : Let us begin. Dearly beloved... Joey Tribbiani : That's my line! I can take it from here, thanks. Dearly beloved, I'm sorry I'm a little late. You may be confused by this now, but you won't be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, let's get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. I've known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as I've left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica? Monica Geller : He took off? Rachel Green : Go on! Go on. Monica Geller : Chandler, for so long I...I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now...here we are...with our future before us...and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Chandler Bing : No, that's okay. Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way it's okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I'm sure? Joey Tribbiani : You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other? Chandler Bing : I do. Monica Geller : I do. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you do! Ross Geller : Rings? Joey Tribbiani : Aw crap! Okay-uh...uh let's-let's do the rings. Joey Tribbiani : We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. Now kiss her again. Chandler Bing : I love you. And I know about the baby. Monica Geller : What baby? Chandler Bing : Our baby. Monica Geller : We have a baby? Chandler Bing : Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash. Monica Geller : I didn't take a pregnancy test. Chandler Bing : Then...who did? Phoebe Buffay : Oh and they're gonna have a baby. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Photographer : Great. Great! Just give me a sec to change film. Monica Geller : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay, I know I'm not supposed to know, but I do. And I'm so excited for you! Joey Tribbiani : What? What's going on? Ross Geller : Monica's pregnant! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?! Monica Geller : Guys! I'm not pregnant. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. Slow swimmers? Ross Geller : What?! What do you mean? You-you-you're not pregnant? Monica Geller : You didn't tell anybody I was did you?! Ross Geller : No! I'll be right back. Photographer : Now why don't we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier. Monica Geller : Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party. Joey Tribbiani : I can't! I-I don't have any other clothes here. Monica Geller : Find some! Please! Anything that doesn't say I-I died tragically in France. Photographer : Well then why don't we see the bride and the groom and the bridemaids. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Hey Mon, why did you tell the guys you weren't pregnant? Monica Geller : Because I'm not. Phoebe Buffay : We found your test in the trash, if you're not pregnant--It's because I am. Chandler Bing : What?! What are you talking about? Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I...I am with child. And I didn't want to say anything because it's your day; I didn't want to steal your thunder. Monica Geller : Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?! Chandler Bing : Who's the father? Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : I can't say. Monica Geller : Why?! Chandler Bing : Why not? Phoebe Buffay : I can't say because he's famous. Rachel Green : Oh my God, who is it?! Monica Geller : Phoebe, come on, you have to tell us. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay. It's James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby. Chandler Bing : As in Barbara Streisand's husband James Brolin? Phoebe Buffay : What?! Well he never said that to me! Photographer : Why don't we have Monica step away and we'll get Chandler and the bridemaids. Phoebe Buffay : How about just the bridemaids? Chandler Bing : Y'know I am the groom right? I was told it was kinda big deal. Phoebe Buffay : It is. Rachel Green : For you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh, thank you for doing that. I just can't deal with this just quite yet. Phoebe Buffay : So instead you told me Monica was pregnant. Rachel Green : You said that she was, I just didn't disagree with you. Phoebe Buffay : Sneaky. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Photographer : Smile ladies. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh by the way? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Rachel Green : James Brolin? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered he's gay. Rachel Green : Ed Begley Jr. is not gay. Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Bandleader : Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing! Chandler Bing : Before we go out there I've got a present for ya. Monica Geller : Honey, I'm going to put my hand in your pocket! Chandler Bing : No? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : I've been taking dancing lessons. Monica Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you will never forget. Monica Geller : Oh that is so sweet! Chandler Bing : So? Would you care to join me in our first dance as husband and wife? Monica Geller : Yes. Monica Geller : What's the matter? Chandler Bing : I don't know, it's these new shoes, they're all slippery. Monica Geller : Well, are you going to be able to do this? Chandler Bing : Not well. Monica Geller : Well, the good news is, I don't think anyone's looking at us. Phoebe Buffay : So, are you ready to talk about it? Rachel Green : No. Phoebe Buffay : Now? Rachel Green : No! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we'll talk about something else then. Rachel Green : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Who's the father?! Rachel Green : Ugh! Look honey y'know what? I haven't told him yet, so until I do I don't think I should tell anybody else. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. That's fine. That's fair. Is it Tag? Rachel Green : Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm sorry. I'll stop. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Is it Ross? It's Ross isn't it-Oh my God, it's Joey! Rachel Green : Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him. Phoebe Buffay : Ah-hah! At least we know it's a him. Monica Geller : Oh sweet Lord. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and it's either this or a bathrobe! Look, what's more important, the way I'm dressed or me being with you on your special day? Monica Geller : Honey, I'm not even going to pretend I was listening. Hey! Hey! Ross Geller : Hi. I'm uh, I'm Ross. I don't, I don't believe we've met. I'm Monica's older brother. Woman : Oh hi, I'm, I'm Mona from her restaurant. Ross Geller : Oh! Hello uh, Mona from her restaurant. Mona, wow what a, what a beautiful name. Mona : You think so? I've always kinda hated it. Ross Geller : Aw come on, Mona Lisa? Mona : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Mona umm...Clickclocken. The famous botanist? Huh? Oh no she's uh-well she's dead now. No, supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world. Mona : Really?! Well see? I never knew about her. Ross Geller : Linda Clickclocken. So what uh, what-what table are you at? Oh, uh me too. Mona : Oh good. Now there'll be someone there who likes my name. Ross Geller : Yes there will. Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert you've just been bumped up to table one. And if it's all right with you I'm gonna take your place at table six-Martin Clickclocken. Joey Tribbiani : That's better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. Nora Tyler Bing : Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. I'd like you to meet Dennis Phillips. Dennis Phillips : Congratulations. Chandler Bing : Thank you. Nora Tyler Bing : Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover. Chandler Bing : Bravo Dennis thanks for pleasing my mother so. Dennis Phillips : Oh, I'm so sorry I missed the ceremony, I was stuck at auditions. Nora Tyler Bing : Oh yes, Dennis is directing a new Broadway show. Joey Tribbiani : I don't believe we've met, Joey Tribbiani. Dennis Phillips : Dennis Phillips Joey Tribbiani : Wow, I've admired your work for years. You-you've done some really amazing stuff. Dennis Phillips : Oh, thank you. Well if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. Joey Tribbiani : Wow Dennis Phillips! That's great! How did you guys meet? Nora Tyler Bing : Well, it's a funny story. Chandler Bing : Funny: Ha-Ha Or Funny Bandleader : Thank you, thank you very much. If everyone will please take your seats, dinner will be served. Ross Geller : Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six. Mona : No, nine. Ross Geller : Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way which uh, which was misleading. Well I'm... Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? 'Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I would've done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and that's just for ugly people. Chandler Bing : What size shoes do you wear? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, eleven, eleven and a half. Chandler Bing : Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I don't even really know where I left those. Sorry. Chandler Bing : Those aren't eleven and a half. Joey Tribbiani : Okay fine! I'm a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, I'll show ya! Monica Geller : Can you believe Phoebe got pregnant?! Rachel Green : Oh y'know what honey? Let's not talk about that right now? Monica Geller : This is so huge. Rachel Green : Sure, but come on, as big as your wedding? Monica Geller : Of course not nothing is. Between me and you... Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : ...in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant? Rachel Green : Hey! Y'know, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything they're supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through! Monica Geller : How? Rachel Green : I don't know! Maybe they have tools. Monica Geller : Well I-I talked to and uh, she's definitely going to have this baby. Y'know, she said she was gonna raise it on her own. Rachel Green : Well, maybe that's, maybe that's really brave. Monica Geller : Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard it's gonna be. Rachel Green : Maybe she hasn't really thought it through that well. Monica Geller : Well, there's a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize she's not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years? Rachel Green : I don't know. Monica Geller : Are you okay? Rachel Green : Uh-hmm. I'm just thinking about Phoebe; poor knocked up Phoebe. Waiter : Champagne? Rachel Green : Oh yes! Thank you very much! Oh that's-that's actually how the French drink it. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I just got off the phone with my lover, James Brolin... Monica Geller : Oh really?! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said... Monica Geller : Rachel's really the one who's pregnant. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Why bother? Monica Geller : How do you feel? Rachel Green : I don't know. I don't know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I don't want to make. Somebody just take this away from me!! Phoebe Buffay : Calm down. Maybe you're not pregnant. Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure. Monica Geller : Yes! Maybe it's a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right? Rachel Green : How many ways are there to do that? Phoebe Buffay : I'm-I'm just saying, don't freak out until you're a hundred percent sure. Rachel Green : All right, I'll-I'll take it again when I get home. Monica Geller : You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me. Rachel Green : Okay. Thank you. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : I'll run out and get you one. Rachel Green : Oh, you guys are so great. Monica Geller : Oh, wait a minute! Who's is the father?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, she won't tell us. Monica Geller : Oh, come on it's my wedding! That can be my present. Rachel Green : Wh-Hey, I just gave you peeing on a stick. Phoebe Buffay : See? This is why you register. Ross Geller : It was the chair again! Okay? I'm not doing it! It what-look, I don't-y'know what-eh-eh... Hi. Mona : Hi! Ross Geller : Umm, would you like to dance? Mona : Sure. Ross Geller : Yeah? Mona : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh great! Little Girl : Dr. Geller? Ross Geller : I wasn't farting! Uh, a little game from our table. Yes? Little Girl : Dr. Geller, will you dance with me? Ross Geller : Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, I'm about to dance with this lady. Little Girl : Okay. Mona : Ohhhh! Ross Geller : Uh, unless! Unless, uh this lady wouldn't mind letting you go first. Mona : I'd be happy to. You are very sweet. Ross Geller : Yes I-I am. In fact umm hey, why don't we try it my special way? You can dance on my feet. Little Girl : Sure! Ross Geller : Yeah? Hop on. Is the pretty lady looking? Little Girl : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : Keep dancing. Chandler Bing : And the world will never know. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Did you talk to Dennis about me yet? Chandler Bing : Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives. Joey Tribbiani : No-no! No! No! You don't tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks I'm a soap actor. Chandler Bing : But you're not just a soap actor. You are a soap actor with freakishly tiny feet. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Little Girl : Thank you. Ross Geller : No-no, thank you Miranda. Little Girl : Melinda! Ross Geller : All right. Mona : How cute was that? Ross Geller : Oh-oh, were you, were you watching? Second Girl : Can I go next? Ross Geller : What? Of course you can! Hop on! Mona : Okay, but I get to hop on after her. Ross Geller : I am so gonna score. Second Girl : What? Ross Geller : I like your bow. Joey Tribbiani : I'd like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. And-and there was some sad memories. I'm sorry. And-and some scared memories-Whoa! Eh? And then, and then I realized I'll always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. Oh! To the happy couple! Bandleader : Thank you. Ross Geller : That was very nice Ashley. Ashley : Can we do it again? Ross Geller : No-no. Mona : So, is it my turn now? Fat Girl : I'm next! Ross Geller : Oh! Mona : Uh, that's okay. You can dance with her first. Ross Geller : Oh, you-you sure? Okay. Okay. So what's uh, what's your name. Fat Girl : Gert! Ross Geller : That's, that's pretty. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert? Gert : Dancing on your feet! Like the other girls did it. Ross Geller : Okay. Hop on Gert. Gert : Why aren't you moving your feet? Ross Geller : I'm trying. Gert : Faster! You're not going fast enough! Ross Geller : Maybe I should stand on your feet! Joey Tribbiani : So did you uh, happen to catch my toast up there? Dennis Phillips : Oh my God, that was for my benefit? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'd like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know you're casting for this new show... Dennis Phillips : Look umm Joey, I-I don't think you're quite right for this project. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, see that's where you're wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didn't see it up there, just-just try me. Dennis Phillips : It's an all Chinese cast. Can you be Chinese? Joey Tribbiani : Well I'm not proud of this, but... Dennis Phillips : Oh my God! No-no-no! Please! Please! Don't-don't-don't! Monica Geller : Hey, are you ready to get back on the dance floor? Chandler Bing : Did it turn into sand? Monica Geller : Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, you'll be fine. Chandler Bing : No. No, I won't. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didn't want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot. Monica Geller : Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesn't matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. Just try not to move your feet at all. There you go. Jack Geller : Chandler, I'm gonna have you arrested. Chandler Bing : Why? Jack Geller : You stole my moves. Rachel Green : How much longer? Phoebe Buffay : 30 seconds. Rachel Green : 30 seconds, okay. Monica Geller : Did I miss it? Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if it's positive, we're gonna... Rachel Green : Oh I know. I know. Phoebe Buffay : It's time. The Girls : No!! Monica Geller : Go ahead Rach. Rachel Green : Oh wait! Y'know what? I can't, I can't look at it. I can't. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel Green : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, it's negative. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : It's negative. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! That is-that's great-that is really great-great news. Y'know 'cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. God. Monica Geller : Well... Well, great. Phoebe Buffay : Here. Rachel Green : Thanks. God this is so stupid! How could I be upset over something I never had? It's negative? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's positive. Rachel Green : What?! Phoebe Buffay : It's-it's not negative, it's positive. Rachel Green : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Well yeah, I lied before. Rachel Green : Oh! Monica Geller : Oh God... Phoebe Buffay : Now you know how you really feel about it. Rachel Green : Oh-oh, that's a risky little game! Monica Geller : Are you really gonna do this? Rachel Green : Yeah. I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna have a baby! Phoebe Buffay : With who? Rachel Green : Ah, it's still not the time. Ross Geller : I just didn't see the fast song coming. Joey Tribbiani : Shh. Shh. Don't try to talk, we'll get you up to your room, we'll soak your feet, you'll be okay. Ross Geller : Oh, thank you. Mona : That is so sweet! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Mona : No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there. Joey Tribbiani : Tell me about it, I feel like I'm holding down the fort all by myself. Mona : It's Joey right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : Wait a minute! No! I'm the nice one! I'm the one who danced with the kids all night! How...How small are your feet?! Rachel Green : Listen y'know what sir? For the last time, I don't care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Joey uh, were you in our room last night? Joey Tribbiani : No. I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill! Chandler Bing : Hi! We're checking out of the bridal suite. Monica Geller : That's right. I'm no longer a bride. I'll never be a bride again. Now, I'm just someone's wife! Chandler Bing : And I'm the happiest guy in the world! Oh honey, come on don't be upset. We still have so much to look forward to! Monica Geller : Oh yeah, right. Chandler Bing : We got the honeymoon. Monica Geller : That's not 'til Thursday. Chandler Bing : The wedding pictures? Monica Geller : They won't be ready for weeks. Chandler Bing : Not the disposable cameras from the tables. Monica Geller : That's true! I knew I married you for a reason! Chandler Bing : I'll tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : What? What did you take a picture of? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing! It was something. Chandler Bing : Okay Ross has the cameras, has he checked out yet? Rachel Green : Are you joking? Check out is not 'til noon and he has a good eleven minutes left. Chandler Bing : Oh. Monica Geller : Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to. Rachel Green : Yeah, one time, when we were dating, uh we got a late checkout, he got so excited it was the best sex we ever had. Until y'know, he screamed out Radisson at the end. Chandler Bing : Okay, well I'm gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. 32 Joe. You're 32! Front Desk Clerk : Here's a copy of your bill. Monica Geller : Oh thanks. Champagne, strawberries...Oh my God! I can't believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's sad. Mashuga nut? Ross Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey. Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff? Ross Geller : Why not? It's built into the price of the room. Chandler Bing : Yeah but you don't need--What is this? Ross Geller : Thread! Chandler Bing : Score! Where are the disposable cameras? Ross Geller : What disposable cameras? Chandler Bing : The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them? Ross Geller : No you didn't. Chandler Bing : Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said... Ross Geller : Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" Yeah, then you did that. Chandler Bing : So you don't have the cameras?! Ross Geller : No. Sorry man. Chandler Bing : So? What? What? They're gone! Monica's gonna freak! Ross Geller : Well, I'm sure they're still somewhere here in the hotel. I'll-I'll help you look for them. Chandler Bing : Great. Ross Geller : In-in three minutes. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Are you gonna open the presents without Chandler? Monica Geller : No! But, they're callin' out to me! I mean this little guy even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldn't mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is? Phoebe Buffay : A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman. Monica Geller : A tiny salt shaker!!! Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh! My God! For tiny salt! Monica Geller : Oh wow! Okay. Well that was fun. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. Monica Geller : Good. Okay, I'm just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Whew. Although y'know, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean... I guess y'know it may just count as a half a present. What do you think? Phoebe Buffay : Well I guess it's okay to open one more if it's part of a set. Y'know, it's probably this one. Monica Geller : Or this one! Rachel Green : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey, how are you feelin'? Any morning sickness? Rachel Green : Shh-shh-shh! The guys don't know yet do they? Monica Geller : No! Joey and Ross don't know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebe's pregnant. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's right Chandler does still think I'm pregnant. He hasn't asked me how I'm feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. After you of course. Rachel Green : Don't worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, 'cause I'm going to tell the father today. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor? Rachel Green : Ew! No! Phoebe Buffay : What?! I think he's cute. Rachel Green : Well then you have his baby. Phoebe Buffay : Believe me I'm trying. Monica Geller : Wow. Y'know it is so weird. I mean, you're gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea what's gonna happen. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. You're just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. You're like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism. Rachel Green : Yeah. Uh-huh, I guess it is pretty big news. Phoebe Buffay : Pretty big? It's huge! God, this guy doesn't have a clue! He's just walking down the street thinking, 'I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock!' then bam! He's a father and everything's different. Rachel Green : Well it's only different if he wants it to be. I mean, I'm not gonna ask him for anything. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now he's walking around thinking, 'Do I want to be a dad?' and then bam! Monica Geller : What was that bam? Phoebe Buffay : I don't. He got...he-he-he-he's hit by a bus. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant? Joey Tribbiani : Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut! Rachel Green : Oh Joey! Joey! No, it's not you! You didn't get anybody pregnant! Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Why would you scare me like that? What the hell is going on? Is somebody pregnant? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. That's me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God Pheebs! You're gonna have a baby? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, I'm gonna have a baby! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, wait a minute. Who's the father? Phoebe Buffay : You don't know him. It's not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. Joey Tribbiani : Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? 'Cause I will track him down and kick his ass! Phoebe Buffay : David Lynn. Joey Tribbiani : David Lynn! David Lynn! David Lynn!! Monica Geller : Who's David Lynn? Phoebe Buffay : Oh some guy from my gym. A little annoying. Ross Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : Hey! Did you find the cameras? Ross Geller : No. Did you? Chandler Bing : Yes! And that's why I'm under the table. Celebrating. Ross Geller : Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-one's turned them. Chandler Bing : Well this is great. Y'know, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, she's really depressed. Ross Geller : Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed? Chandler Bing : All my energy is going into not asking that question. I can't believe I screwed this up! Ross Geller : I'm sorry man. Here's a thought. This is the same ballroom. There's a band. There's gonna be plenty of dressed up people. Chandler Bing : Are you suggesting we dance our troubles away? Ross Geller : No-no-no, I'm saying we-we buy more of this at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody else's faces. Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Ross Geller : I'm just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down? Chandler Bing : Marriage advice? Really?! Ross Geller : I'm telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Aren't these the same flowers? Chandler Bing : I don't know, Monica picked out the flowers. Ross Geller : What about the chairs? Chandler Bing : She picked those out too. Ross Geller : How about the place settings? Chandler Bing : That was her. Ross Geller : What did you do? Chandler Bing : I was in charge of the cameras! Gift shop? Ross Geller : Hmm. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ooh, did you do it yet? Rachel Green : Not yet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well what are you doing here? Are you about to do it? Is it Gunther? Rachel Green : No! Phoebe, it's not Gunther. Phoebe Buffay : Thank God, 'cause that hair on a baby... Rachel Green : Phoebe the father is not here okay? I haven't told him yet and I don't think I can tell him at all now! Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Rachel Green : I don't know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, 'I'm gonna tell the father today' and then bam! Phoebe Buffay : Bus? Rachel Green : No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is! Phoebe Buffay : Well-well but it is huge. Rachel Green : I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didn't even go to how huge this was going to be for the father. Phoebe Buffay : You're thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. It's like, it's like ripping off this Band-Aid. Quick and painless, watch. Oh mother of...See? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh-ooh-ooh! Are we opening presents? Monica Geller : No! No! I shouldn't have even opened these! I mean I-Joey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Give me one more. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Oh good, uh you're here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, now uh... It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Y'know, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Hell yeah! I'll marry you! Monica Geller : You can't marry him! Phoebe Buffay : Hey lady, your day's over! It's my turn! Monica Geller : Phoebe! Joey Tribbiani : Why?! Why can't she marry me?! Phoebe Buffay : I can and I will! Monica Geller : She's not pregnant. It's Rachel. Rachel's the one who's pregnant. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Phoebe I think he would notice if you didn't have a baby in nine months! Phoebe Buffay : It's Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Now I can't believe it! What? Rachel's pregnant? Who's the father? Phoebe Buffay : We don't know. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh... I wonder if that dude. Monica Geller : There's a dude? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Who? Who is it? Joey Tribbiani : About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didn't see who it was but... Phoebe Buffay : Was that story over? Joey Tribbiani : The guy left this. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I know who the father is... Monica Geller : People have got to finish their stories! Chandler Bing : Uh, excuse me? Could you take a picture of us? Woman At The Wedding : Oh! Of course. Man At The Wedding : Uh, would you take one of us? Chandler Bing : Uhh... Yeah sure. Click! Woman At The Wedding : It didn't click. Ross Geller : I heard it. I heard it. Man At The Wedding : But there was no flash. Woman At The Wedding : Why won't you take our picture? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah. I'll take, I'll take your picture. Man At The Wedding : Uh, your finger was covering the lens. Chandler Bing : Who are you? Ansel Adams?! Get outta here! Phoebe Buffay : Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go! Rachel Green : What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is? Phoebe Buffay : I may play the fool at times, but I'm a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that won't quit. I believe this belongs to the father of your baby. Rachel Green : Oh God... Oh, he's in there right now? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Now you can turn around or you can go in there and rip the Band-Aid off. What to you want to do? Rachel Green : Uh, let's rip! Phoebe Buffay : Really? Are you sure? Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, sorry. Yeah. Tag Jones : Hey Rach. Chandler Bing : Why don't you go up on stage. I'll get a picture of you doing the speech. Ross Geller : Okay. Okay! Ross Geller : Will the owner of a 1995 Buick LeSabre please see the front desk? Your car is about to be towed. Anxious Wedding Guest : That's my car! Ross Geller : A '95 LeSabre?! Anxious Wedding Guest : Yes! Ross Geller : A green LeSabre? Anxious Wedding Guest : Yes! Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre. Anxious Wedding Guest : Yes! Green-blue! Ross Geller : Well go! Go move it! Chandler Bing : Okay, you ready for the last picture? Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Get ready to run. Congratulations on your wedding. Tag Jones : So, what's this about? Phoebe Buffay : Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater. Tag Jones : No. This is my red sweater. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Could I get anyone a coffee or...poison? No? Just for me? Okay. Tag Jones : What's going on Rach? Rachel Green : Nothing! Phoebe kinda made a mistake. But y'know you do wear that sweater a lot, are you involved in some kind of dare? Tag Jones : Y'know, I'm actually glad Phoebe called. I know we broke up because you thought I wasn't mature enough, but I've really grown up and think we should get back together. Rachel Green : Oh, it's just not the right time. Tag Jones : It is the right time. Rachel Green : Okay. Tag Jones : I'm ready for more. Rachel Green : Tag... Tag Jones : Come on Rach, let's give it another try. Rachel Green : I'm having a baby. Tag Jones : Oh. Rachel Green : You can go. Tag Jones : Thank you. Monica Geller : I don't know how any of these got opened?! Joey Tribbiani : You opened them all? Monica Geller : I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey! You got my parent's gift! Monica Geller : Yeah. What is that? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I don't know. I think it does something to salami. Monica Geller : Hey! How'd it go? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. What-what did Tag say? Rachel Green : Tag is not the father! And Joey knows now? Joey Tribbiani : I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. Rachel Green : Oh wow, you didn't even try to unhook my bra! Monica Geller : So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is? Rachel Green : No, I will. I'm just not up for it tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know you're not gonna be alone in this. Rachel Green : I'm not? Joey Tribbiani : Listen I uh... It's a scary world out there especially if you're a single mom. Y'know, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Y'know? So, Rachel Green will you marry me? Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : What?!! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, give me the ring back! Phoebe Buffay : No!! Rachel Green : No! Joey, oh you're so sweet. You're so-so sweet, honey. But I'm not, I'm not looking for a husband. Joey Tribbiani : I understand. Rachel Green : Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. Phoebe Buffay : I can't say that didn't hurt. But I'll take you back Joey Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : Uh yeah. Pheebs, listen about that. I only offered... Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! A Salami Buddy! Joey Tribbiani : There you go! Chandler Bing : We're back! Monica Geller : Great! We're hangin' in the kitchen! Let's stay in the kitchen! Chandler Bing : It's picture time. Ross Geller : Now you are going to love these. Chandler Bing : Here's a picture of Ross. And that's me. And that's me and Ross. Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple. Monica Geller : Wow! That is a great picture! Chandler Bing : Eh? Monica Geller : Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! Ross Geller : Huh, didn't see that coming. Chandler Bing : Okay, so this isn't a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with...with this lady. Which by the look on your face I'm sure you'll remember. So we don't need--There's no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now. Monica Geller : That would be a good idea. Chandler Bing : Okay. You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together! Monica Geller : You kissed another woman! Chandler Bing : Call it even?! Monica Geller : Okay! Ross Geller : Well, I'm gonna go get these in some water. Phoebe Buffay : Wait you stole those from these people's wedding? Ross Geller : No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. Hey! My sweater! I've been looking for this for like a month! Monica Geller : Oh my God!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Hey! How you doing? Tag Jones : Good! Good, long time no see. Ross Geller : Yeah. Tag Jones : Like your sweater. Ross Geller : Oh hey, right back at ya. Tag Jones : Oh, it's crazy about Rachel huh? Ross Geller : Yeah. She-Well, she's one crazy lady? Tag Jones : So whose is it? Ross Geller : Umm, I don't some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later. Tag Jones : Okay. Ross Geller : He is so weird. Chandler Bing : Hey! Babe! Aren't you excited we're going on our honeymoon? Monica Geller : Yeah I am! Chandler Bing : Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama... Monica Geller : That's right. Get it out of your system while we're alone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Have a great honeymoon! Chandler Bing : I'd better go pack. Monica Geller : Oh no, I already packed. The only thing I couldn't find though was your Speedo. Chandler Bing : A Speedo? Uh, I don't have a Speedo. I'm gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. Rachel Green : Oh good you're still here! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : I want to tell you to have a good honeymoon! Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. What? What? What? Joey Tribbiani : We know its Ross! Rachel Green : How?! How do you know? Phoebe Buffay : It was his sweater, but-Oh my God! Rachel Green : Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but I'm so relieved you guys know. Monica Geller : This is so great! And I'm gonna be your baby's aunt! Rachel Green : I know! Phoebe Buffay : Me too! Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here! Rachel Green : You're all gonna be aunts and uncles. Monica Geller : Yeah, but I'm the only one related by blood. Rachel Green : Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how I'm gonna tell Ross! Monica Geller : Well, what were you gonna say? Rachel Green : Well I was gonna tell him that I'm-I'm gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants. Joey Tribbiani : Well that, that sounds good. Rachel Green : Yeah but how do I start? I mean, what's-what's the first thing that I say? Okay great! Thanks. Monica Geller : Hey! Good luck! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, bye. Joey Tribbiani : Bye. Chandler Bing : Hey, what was that all about? Monica Geller : Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby. Chandler Bing : What?! I didn't even know that-Why didn't you tell me?! Why am I talking like this?! Monica Geller : I didn't think you could keep it a secret. Chandler Bing : What?! I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets. Joey Tribbiani : What secrets? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper. Joey Tribbiani : You'll tell me later? Chandler Bing : You already know. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something. Phoebe Buffay : All in good time my love. All in good time. Oh shoot! I left my guitar in their apartment. Well you can let me in later. Joey Tribbiani : I don't have a key, they took mine to give to you. Phoebe Buffay : What?! They took mine to give to you! Joey Tribbiani : Why would they take away our keys? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe they don't trust us. Joey Tribbiani : No that's not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town. Phoebe Buffay : You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monica's guest towels? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I washed those! Phoebe Buffay : No you didn't. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah that didn't sound like me. Phoebe Buffay : Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I have stuff in there too. Phoebe Buffay : What stuff? Joey Tribbiani : Monica's chicken parm! I'll take care of it. Hey Mr. Treeger, it's Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment. It's an emergency. Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Did Rachel find you? Ross Geller : No why? Phoebe Buffay : Oh she was looking for you. Ross Geller : Oh well, I guess I'll catch up with her later. Phoebe Buffay : Well, she really wanted to talk to you now. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it seemed pretty important. Ross Geller : Oh no. Phoebe Buffay : What? Ross Geller : I think I might know what this is about. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we weren't gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together. Phoebe Buffay : And? Ross Geller : Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked. Phoebe Buffay : Oh sorry. And?! Ross Geller : Well, we-we said we'd just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I don't think that's what it is. Ross Geller : Why? What-what else could it be? Joey Tribbiani : Oh wow, I don't feel well. Ross Geller : I'm telling you. I'm telling you. That's what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didn't say anything to you? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe it's something you ate? Joey Tribbiani : Please, just-just, just go and talk to Rachel. Ross Geller : Yeah, I guess I should. Man, y'know what I have to realize? Maybe I'm just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Y'know, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. Ticket Agent : Next? Monica Geller : They're kissing let's just go around them. Chandler Bing : Oh honey, leave them alone, they're in love. Monica Geller : I'm in love too! But in an orderly fashion. Ticket Agent : Next? Monica Geller : Hi! Can you do that and walk? 'Cause she said, "Next." Woman : Sorry. We didn't hear you; we're on our honeymoon. Ticket Agent : Oh, let me see what I can do. There are some first class seats available. Monica Geller : Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Let's act like we're on our honeymoon. Chandler Bing : We are on our honeymoon. Monica Geller : Grab my ass! Ticket Agent : Next? Monica Geller : Hi, sorry. I almost didn't hear you, because y'know I'm just so in love with my new husband. We're on our honeymoon. Ticket Agent : Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing you'll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing you'll be in 25K. Monica Geller : Oh no, you see we're on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class? Ticket Agent : I'm sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two. Monica Geller : You see, if we'd gone around them like I said, we-She would've given us those tickets. Damnit! Chandler Bing : 25J and K, any chance those aren't together? Joey Tribbiani : I still can't believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours. Phoebe Buffay : Of course I do! And I'm gonna give it back to you as soon as they're done with it at the key shining place. Joey Tribbiani : What the hell is that? Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Treeger, what are you doing? Mr. Treeger : You said there was a gas leak in here. Phoebe Buffay : Well why don't you use your key? Mr. Treeger : Because by the time I find it on this thing , the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. Come on! Hurry up. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! We could have done that. Monica Geller : Look at that! Look at that! They're going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there? Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : Me neither! We have to get in! Chandler Bing : Just act like you belong. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oranges! Chandler Bing : Shh! Nice to see you again. Airline Employee : Uh sir, may I see your tickets please? Chandler Bing : Yes, of course. Airline Employee : I'm sorry, would you move your thumb? I can't see the seat number. Chandler Bing : Oh that's all right, I have it memorized. It's 1A. Airline Employee : Sir, this is not a first class ticket. I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Apology accepted. Excuse us. Airline Employee : Sir! I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Monica Geller : Fine. Go! Go! Go! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Umm, I think there's something that we really need to talk about. Ross Geller : I think we do. Why don't we go inside? Look uh, I know why you're here. Rachel Green : You do? Ross Geller : Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. That's been one heck of a see-saw hasn't it? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and...and certainly passionate, but don't you think it's better if we just stayed friends? Rachel Green : Seriously. What?! Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. Y'know what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean I'd-I'd be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now. Rachel Green : Okay, y'know what? Can I, can I talk now? Ross Geller : Oh sure. Rachel Green : I'm pregnant. Ross? Ross? Okay, whenever you're ready. And you're the father by the way-but you got that... Rachel Green : Can I get you some water? Ross Geller : I'm good. I'm good. Rachel Green : Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. Ross Geller : Yeah, I need uh... I'm just-I don't know-I don't understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom. Rachel Green : I know. I know, but y'know condoms only work like 97% of the time. Ross Geller : What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!! Rachel Green : They do! Ross Geller : No they don't!!! Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!! Rachel Green : Okay Ross come on let's just forget about the condoms. Ross Geller : Oh well I may as well have! Rachel Green : Listen, y'know what? I was really freaked out too when I found out... Ross Geller : Freaked out? Hey no, I'm not freaked out! I'm indignant! As a consumer! Rachel Green : Y'know what? Let's, let's talk later. Ross Geller : No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? I-In fact, I am going to talk to the president of the condom company! Rachel Green : Okay, y'know maybe I should come back... Ross Geller : Shh! Shh! Shh! Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Yeah I'll press 1! Mr. Treeger : I've looked everywhere. There's no gas leak. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. So then I can heat this up? Mr. Treeger : Anyway uh, I'll get moving on that new door. Phoebe Buffay : Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? 'Cause y'know umm, they don't-they don't have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them. Mr. Treeger : Well I'm gonna have to put on a new lock, they'll find out anyway. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no. Mr. Treeger : Whoa! This looks like an all day job, I'll have to cancel my yoga class. Hey Ross! Ross Geller : Hi. Mr. Treeger : Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today? Ross Geller : Sure. Mr. Treeger : Namaste. Ross Geller : Namaste. Ross Geller : Oh my God! What happened to the door?! Joey Tribbiani : So it's noticeable huh? Ross Geller : Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her. Phoebe Buffay : Didn't you two already talk? Ross Geller : Yeah but uh... Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but there's something else. Rachel's pregnant. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God!!! I can't believe that!! Phoebe Buffay : Holy mother of God!!! Ross Geller : With my child. Phoebe Buffay : That is brand new information!! Ross Geller : You already know don't you? Phoebe Buffay : A little bit. Joey Tribbiani : How are you doing? Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. I mean I'll be okay. It's just I don't think I handled it very well. Joey Tribbiani : Well, what did you say to her? Ross Geller : Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Ross. Ross Geller : But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : I gotta go find her. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they don't even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box! Ross Geller : Evidently they do. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Monica Geller : I can't believe we're here. Chandler Bing : Oh you've got to be kidding me. Monica Geller : What? Front Desk Clerk : As a wedding gift to you, the hotel would like to give you the honeymoon suite. Monica Geller : No!! You have been screwing us all day! Man : Who are you? Chandler Bing : We're you just ten seconds later! Monica Geller : Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean you're not the only ones on your honeymoon! Woman : Well you can have the suite if you want. We don't care about where we stay. We're here to celebrate our love together. We don't have to get free stuff. We just want to be together. Chandler Bing : We need the stuff. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica it's Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin' from your apartment. Monica Geller : What? Are you serious?! Joey smells gas! Chandler Bing : What else is new? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah and we'd go check it out, but you took away our keys. Monica Geller : Well do something! Get in there! Joey Tribbiani : How? I guess I could break down your door. Monica Geller : Yeah! Do that! Joey Tribbiani : And-and you won't blame us for any damage? Monica Geller : No! Are you doing it?! I don't hear anything! Come on! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, okay I'll-I'll-I'll break it down. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey hi, he's doing it. He's breaking down the door. Okay, we're in. Nurse : Okay Rachel, are you comfortable? Rachel Green : If I said I was, would you judge me? Nurse : The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn... Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Uh we-we need to talk. Rachel Green : Uh-uh-uh, right now? Because I've kinda got an el fresco situation going on over here. Ross Geller : Please, please I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today. Rachel Green : Okay Ross that's fine, but can you please stand near my head? Ross Geller : What? Oh yeah. I'm sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I really-I should have been thinking about you Rach... Rachel Green : Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross! Ross Geller : Right! Right! I just-I want you to know that I'm going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctor's appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartment-Although we could probably worry about that 'til after we get married. Rachel Green : What married? Ross Geller : Well yeah, I think we should get married. Rachel Green : What, because that's your answer to everything? Ross Geller : No, because that's the right thing to do. Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe if you're in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we? Ross Geller : No but...but still you can't possibly do this alone. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Ross Geller : Come on Rach, you can't even eat alone in a restaurant. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : I'm just saying if you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself? Rachel Green : I can too eat by myself! Ross Geller : When have you ever? Rachel Green : When certain people leave the table and I am not finished! Ross Geller : Well certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup! Rachel Green : Oh please, you inhale your food! Ross Geller : I grew up with Monica! If you didn't eat fast you didn't eat!! Dr. Long : Am I interrupting? Rachel Green : Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father. Ross Geller : But not the husband, because evidently she can do this alone. Dr. Long : Huh. Nice to meet you. I'll get started on this. Ross Geller : I don't know why you can't admit that you need me. Rachel Green : I do need you! I need you to stand near my head! Dr. Long : Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Rachel Green : Wow. There it is, I see it. Dr. Long : Congratulations. I'll give you two a minute. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Thank you. Ross Geller : Pretty amazing huh? Rachel Green : I don't see it! Ross Geller : What? What?! Rachel Green : I can't see it! Ross Geller : You-you just said that you did! Rachel Green : I know, I lied! I didn't want her to think I was a terrible mother! I can't even see my own baby! Ross Geller : Oh sure, come here! Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, it's-it's-it's, it's right there . Rachel Green : Oh. Oh, it's beautiful. I see it now. Ross Geller : Do you really? Rachel Green : No, I don't see it! Ross Geller : Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? This tiny thing that looks like a peanut? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Sweetie that's it. Rachel Green : That's it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you. Ross Geller : You're welcome. Rachel Green : Wow! I can't believe that's our baby. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's our baby. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! So how was the doctor? Rachel Green : Oh, everything went great. Phoebe Buffay : Good. Ross Geller : Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : I don't see the baby. Where is it? Rachel Green : Oh no, I know I couldn't see it either at first, but it's right umm... Ross, I lost it again. Ross Geller : Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her. Chandler Bing : Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I can't wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together. Monica Geller : You're really sticking with the shell necklace huh? Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You're back! Monica Geller : Hi sweetie! Phoebe Buffay : Come on in! Phoebe Buffay : So how was the honeymoon? Monica Geller : Oh, so much fun. But the best part is, we met this incredible couple on the way back. Phoebe Buffay : That was the best part? Good honeymooning tiger. Monica Geller : No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too! Chandler Bing : They're terrific, and they live right here in the city. Monica Geller : Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, we're just kinda excited because we finally have a couple to hang out with. Monica Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : A couple? Like two people? Like one , two people? Monica Geller : This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! Hi Greg, I'm Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg. Chandler Bing : Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance... Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Why don't you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here? Chandler Bing : We really...didn't get a chance to... Phoebe Buffay : You have got to be kidding me! Monica Geller : We didn't get anything for anyone. Joey Tribbiani : Hm-mm! Yeah nice necklace! Monica Geller : That you can have. Rachel Green : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Ross Geller : Hello! Rachel Green : Welcome home. Ross Geller : So, how was the honeymoon? Monica Geller : It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean you're having a baby! Rachel Green : Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture! Monica Geller : Oh great! Chandler Bing : Ross! It's got your wavy black lines! Monica Geller : All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us y'know how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen? Phoebe Buffay : Monica! That's not right! Start with where. Rachel Green : Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there 'cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey. Joey Tribbiani : You're welcome buddy. Ross Geller : Yeah, thanks. Rachel Green : And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me. Ross Geller : Umm that's...that's a little misleading. Rachel Green : What is? Ross Geller : The lie you just told. Rachel Green : That-that you came on to me? Ross Geller : There's the one! Rachel Green : But you did! I mean, let's be honest. Ross Geller : Yes let's. Y'know what? Uh, it's-it's not important. What is important is that, is that we're having a baby. And it's not-Doesn't matter who came on to who. Joey Tribbiani : Whom. That's right. Rachel Green : You know you kissed me first. Ross Geller : What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place! Rachel Green : I was sending you signals? Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. Ross Geller : Y'know what?! It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter what you believe! What matters is what happened! Rachel Green : Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, 'cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now? Ross Geller : Y'know what? Y'know what? Rachel, just-just drop it. Rachel Green : No please, show me how I begged you! Ross Geller : I can show you, I have it on videotape! It's an expression. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe he taped the two of them having sex! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. Such a rookie mistake. Chandler Bing : Y'know who has a great video camera? Phoebe Buffay : Greg and Jenny? Monica Geller : Do you still wanna call 'em? I wanna call 'em. Chandler Bing : Let's call 'em. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs! Monica Geller : Hello? Eighth street deli? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin' to that place. Monica Geller : Uh sorry, wrong number. Chandler Bing : Here you go. Monica Geller : Hello? It's the deli again! Joey Tribbiani : All right! I'll have a sandwich! Monica Geller : I don't think this number's right! Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : You got fake numbered. Monica Geller : What?! People don't do that! Joey Tribbiani : Oh I think we do. Monica Geller : They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that? Chandler Bing : I don't know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions. Monica Geller : And you've never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Don't worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, I don't want Greg and Jenny's rejects. Ross Geller : Rachel won't talk to me! She won't even open the door! Phoebe Buffay : Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert! Ross Geller : Okay, listen I am not a pervert! Phoebe Buffay : That's like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that! Ross Geller : Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, here's what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing. Joey Tribbiani : Personal thing? What personal thing? I don't know. Ross Geller : About...about sex? That I hadn't had sex in months? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah I knew what you were talkin' about. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something I'm, I'm really uncomfortable talking about. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom? Ross Geller : I actually had a topic in mind! I'm, I'm kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, for like months? Ross Geller : Five to be lying, six. Joey Tribbiani : Six months? Whoa that's rough. Ross Geller : Well, I mean it's not all bad. I'm learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky. Joey Tribbiani : The sky's blue Ross and I had sex yesterday! Ross Geller : Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okay-I'm scared for my health! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay. Umm...Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. It's this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; they're like putty. Ross Geller : Really? Well then tell it to me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Now you're gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story. Ross Geller : I'll try to control myself. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe... Ross Geller : You were backpacking across Western Europe? Joey Tribbiani : Have a nice six more months Ross! Ross Geller : Okay! Okay! Okay. I'm sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and? Joey Tribbiani : I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. It was dead silent. Gorgeous. And across the lake I saw...a beautiful woman...bathing herself...but she was crying... Ross Geller : Why? Kristen : Umm, this is great wine. Ross Geller : It's from France...In Europe...Western Europe. Y'know umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe. Kristen : Really? Ross Geller : Uh-hmm-Wait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona. Kristen : I studied for a year in Barcelona. Ross Geller : Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking... Kristen : I love hiking! Ross Geller : Oh that's great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo... Kristen : I think its Tibidabo. Ross Geller : Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa! What are you doing here? How did your date go? Ross Geller : Great! I'm across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Look, if it didn't work it's because you didn't tell it right! Show me how you did it. Ross Geller : No! No, I don't...don't want to. Joey Tribbiani : How long since you've seen a girl naked? Ross Geller : I was backpacking across Western Europe. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not feeling it. Ross Geller : I was just outside Barcelona, hiking... Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No Ross! I'm not hot! Are you hot? Ross Geller : It's been six months! I'm always hot! Joey Tribbiani : Well you're not selling the story! It's like; it's like you don't believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when I'm preparing for an audition. Okay? I'll set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what you're doing wrong. Ross Geller : I'll try that. Joey Tribbiani : All right now... All right, you're all set up. You're good to go. Just hit record. All right? Ross Geller : Thanks. Joey Tribbiani : Good luck. Ross Geller : Thanks. And-and hey Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Ross Geller : Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know I'll help you out. Joey Tribbiani : That means a lot to me man. Ross Geller : Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? Rachel! Rachel Green : Oh Ross! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Thank God you're here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself? Ross Geller : That's less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was. Ross Geller : So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. It kept rolling and recorded everything. Chandler Bing : Yeah, we're gonna need to see that tape. Monica Geller : Yeah, definitely. Ross Geller : What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me! Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? This is not fair to her. Let's just forget the tape! Ross Geller : Thank you. No! Joey Tribbiani : You're right. Ross Geller : Joey! No! Joey Tribbiani : Loud and clear! Monica Geller : I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, if they knew what they were doing they probably didn't give you real names either. Monica Geller : Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they don't give out fake names. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you. Phoebe Buffay : Regina Philange. Chandler Bing : I still don't get it, we didn't do anything wrong. Monica Geller : I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes. Chandler Bing : I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke! Monica Geller : Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! Chandler Bing : Well maybe it was all of your questions. Monica Geller : What about my questions? Chandler Bing : The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler! Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Was that another joke? Chandler Bing : Was that another question? Rachel Green : Hey! Is Ross still here? Joey Tribbiani : Uh no Rach, he's gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake. Rachel Green : Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? Oh forget it! Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village. Ross Geller : Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didn't even watch it! Anyway, here. I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. Rachel Green : Thank you. What? You don't want to see this do you? Monica Geller : Hell yeah!!! Rachel Green : I am not gonna show you this! Phoebe Buffay : No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it. Ross Geller : Forget it, she's destroying it. Phoebe Buffay : Okay fine! Fine! We'll just have to think of some other way to put the whole 'Who came onto who,' thing to rest! Come on now, think!! Ross Geller : Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? It's Rachel's tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story. Rachel Green : I wanna see it. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Clearly you don't want people to see this tape. Now I don't want people to see this tape either, but you so badly don't people to see it makes me want to see it. You see? Joey Tribbiani : Are we watchin' the tape or not?! Ross Geller : I don't want people to see it for your sake. Rachel Green : Ahh, I don't believe you. I think you don't want them to see you begging me. Ross Geller : Rachel, please... Rachel Green : Ah, a little preview! Ross Geller : Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes I'm gonna be saying... Rachel Green : Okay, here we go. Ross Geller : Hello! Can I get you anything? Joey Tribbiani : I'm so happy! Rachel Green : Oh, thank God you're here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself? Rachel Green : There I am. Phoebe Buffay : You're gonna get pregnant. Rachel Green : I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I... Ross Geller : You didn't do it? Rachel Green : I-I know-I had put them in...in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today. Monica Geller : Sweetie okay. It's okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. I'm fine. Rachel Green : Kinda hurtin' my hand though. Monica Geller : I know. Rachel Green : I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh...oh-oh-oh... Chandler Bing : Did you do it on our invitations?! Ross Geller : Not on the ones we sent out. Chandler Bing : So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! Rachel Green : Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged. Ross Geller : I know. Hey remember...remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost... Rachel Green : Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we would've gone through with it? Y'know, if we hadn't gotten caught. Do you think we would've done it? Ross Geller : I mean I...I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasn't sure if you wanted to. Rachel Green : Oh I wanted to. Ross Geller : So we...we both wanted to. Rachel Green : Interesting. Ross Geller : Yeah. Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, sure. Rachel Green : Okay, in about ten seconds you're gonna see him kiss me. Ross Geller : And in about five seconds you're gonna see why. Rachel Green : Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe? Rachel Green : Okay, get ready to see some beggin'! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you came on to Ross! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Now I'm so happy. Rachel Green : What are you talking about?! Monica Geller : You used the Europe story! Chandler Bing : That's the magic story you use when you wanna have sex! Rachel Green : How do you know about that story?! Joey Tribbiani : How do you know about that story?! Rachel Green : I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy! Joey Tribbiani : Some guy!! Rachel Green : No. No, she told me his name was Ken Adams. Joey Tribbiani : Ken Adams!! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : So uh, apparently people are familiar with the Europe story? Ross Geller : Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesn't matter. I mean, I think it would've happened either way. I mean if you hadn't initiated it I-I-I know I would've. Rachel Green : It was an amazing night. Ross Geller : It was. It was an amazing night. Rachel Green : You think it looked amazing? Ross Geller : I uh... I don't know. I mean I...I honestly didn't watch it. Rachel Green : Yeah, me neither. Yet... Ross Geller : Uhhhhhh...that-that may be weird. Rachel Green : Yeah, it would be really weird. Ross Geller : Good luck. Rachel Green : Good luck to you. Ross Geller : Mind if I mute? Rachel Green : Oh please. Ross Geller : Oh, oh there go the clothes. Rachel Green : You are undressing very quickly. Ross Geller : Six months Rachel, six months. Rachel Green : Ah. Oh. Ross Geller : Hey. We-we look...we look pretty good. Rachel Green : That's what I was gonna say. Ross Geller : Oh nice tan! Rachel Green : Thank you! I had just gone to the beach that weekend. Ross Geller : Ah.... Rachel Green : Have you been working out? Ross Geller : I have been working out. Rachel Green : Really? Wow, this is so much better than I... Rachel Green : Ohh! Ew! Ross Geller : Oh that's not pretty. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh! Ross Geller : No! Rachel Green : Oh God! Ross Geller : Oh no! Rachel Green : Oh, make it stop! Ross Geller : Oh no!! Rachel Green : Make it stop!! Ross Geller : No!! Rachel Green : Have to make it stop!! Ross Geller : No!!! Monica Geller : Hello Greg? Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5... That is their old number! Jenny's been giving it out since they moved! Chandler Bing : Jenny! That is so Jenny! Monica Geller : Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? Okay, how about Sunday? Okay umm, the week after that? The week after that? Y'know what Greg? Y'know what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny can't see that then... January 15th? We'll see you then! Okay! Monica Geller : Okay, now this one is rare, this one is medium well! Now go-go-go! Hey Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey how was dinner?! Phoebe Buffay : Dinner was good! Monica Geller : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : I'm just saying hi! Now I'm gonna go! Monica Geller : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well hello there. Guy : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : I didn't see this on the menu. Monica Geller : Uh Tim? This is Phoebe. Phoebe this is Tim, my new sous chef. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, so you're Monica's boss? Tim : Actually she's my-my boss. Sous is French for under. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I sous stand. Monica Geller : Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto? Tim : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh you...you made pesto? Tim : Yes I did. Phoebe Buffay : Would you say your pesto is the best-o? Tim : I...I-I don't know, but I would say it's pretty good-o. Monica Geller : All right, I still need a calamari and a Caesar salad. Tim : I like your necklace. Phoebe Buffay : I made it myself. Tim : You are so talented. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's no pesto. Monica Geller : All right, all right! Let's just cut to the chase, okay? You're single. You're single. He gets off work at eleven. She'll be waiting for your call. I'll give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar. Mr. Franklin : Wow Bing! Burning the midnight oil. Chandler Bing : You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn? Mr. Franklin : You're a joker Bing. Chandler Bing : What's funny about that? Ross Geller : Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting so long. Chandler Bing : Hey that's okay. So, where do you want to go? Ross Geller : Oh ah, I think you know where I want to go. Chandler Bing : The Hard Rock Caf? Ross Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : Again?! Ross Geller : Yeah!! Ross Geller : I'm telling you, I like the food! Chandler Bing : You like the Purple Rain display! Hey Bob. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Hey Toby! Have a good night. Ross Geller : Did that guy just call you Toby? Chandler Bing : Yeah, he thinks that's my name. Ross Geller : Well, why don't you correct him? Chandler Bing : Oh it's been going on way to long now. Y'know, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didn't say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now it's five years later, the donut's gone and I'm still Toby. Ross Geller : Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him! Chandler Bing : No! That would be so awkward! Look-Besides, we work in different departments. He's on the sixth floor y'know? So he calls me Toby once in a while. What's the big deal? It could be worse, it's not like he's calling me Muriel. Ross Geller : Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? It's not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!! Chandler Bing : Shh! It is a family name! Ross Geller : Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they? Joey's Co-Star : Drake, I've discovered the reason for all your headaches and memory loss. Dr. Drake Ramoray : What is it? Joey's Co-Star : Apparently your brain transplant was not entirely successful. It seems your body is rejecting Jessica's brain. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Is it serious? Joey's Co-Star : Not if we extract tissue from the original host body, synthesize antibodies, and introduce them into your system, which could stop it from rejecting the brain. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Well that sounds simple enough, let's just do that. Joey's Co-Star : We would, but when we went to exhume Jessica's body, it was gone. Director : Cut! Very nice people! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, let me just get changed and we can go to dinner. Rachel Green : Well don't-What happened to Jessica's body?! Joey Tribbiani : I'm not telling, you'll have to see it on TV! Rachel Green : You don't know do you? Joey Tribbiani : No, couldn't care less. Joey's Co-Star : Hey good scene man. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you too! Joey's Co-Star : Alright. Joey Tribbiani : What? You weren't in it. Rachel Green : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Oh sorry. Uh-uh, Kash? Kash : Yes? Joey Tribbiani : This is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Kash, Kash, Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi. Kash : Hey! How come I haven't seen you here before? Rachel Green : Well, Joey probably thinks I'll just embarrass him. Y'know, he thinks I'm some kind of a soap opera nut-Which I'm not! I'm not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. And uh, and that your-your dog's name is Wally. Well look at that, I'm just stroking your arm. Joey Tribbiani : Here we go! Here we go! Rachel Green : Oh, we're leaving. Bye Kash. Kash : Bye. Rachel Green : Say hi to Wally. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh Monica! Monica Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I can't wait to get sous-neath him. Monica Geller : I...I have to fire him. Phoebe Buffay : But why?! Monica Geller : Because he's terrible! Okay, he's slow, he burns things, last night he lit my pastry chef on fire! Phoebe Buffay : Well maybe he was just nervous, y'know you can be very intimidating. And besides I've met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two. Monica Geller : Well, now she has no eyebrows, mission accomplished. Phoebe Buffay : But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please? Monica Geller : All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there! Phoebe Buffay : That's fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too. Monica Geller : I paid to have this done. Phoebe Buffay : Love it! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming. Rachel Green : I thought I was a complete idiot. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm with you. He even asked me if I thought you'd go out with him. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say? Joey Tribbiani : I said no. Rachel Green : What?! Joey Tribbiani : What? I...I just figured since you're pregnant you're not gonna be seeing people. Rachel Green : Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant? Joey Tribbiani : I didn't tell him. I didn't know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people. Rachel Green : Good-good, don't tell him. Don't tell him. Just have him call me okay? Joey Tribbiani : Rach look, I really don't think that's such a great... Rachel Green : Okay, you go do it! I'll come back to that set! I'll meet more actors! I'll meet 'em all! Chandler Bing : Hey Bob. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Hey! How's my pal Toby doing today? Chandler Bing : If I see him, I'll ask. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Toby! Mr. Franklin : Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Mr. Franklin : Oh then you know each other. Chandler Bing : We're on a semi-first name basis. Mr. Franklin : What do you think of adding him to our team? Chandler Bing : Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I don't know if he has what it takes. Mr. Franklin : Really? They love him down on six. Chandler Bing : But this is eleven. It's almost twice as hard up here. Mr. Franklin : Okay, I hear you loud and clear. Bob will stay put. Chandler Bing : I think it's best sir. Mr. Franklin : But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. I've got a stack of documents on my desk this high. Chandler Bing : Y'know what you should do, just toss 'em in the shedder and claim you never got 'em. Mr. Franklin : That's a good one. Chandler Bing : What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously around here?! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey. Okay, I gave him another chance, but Tim has got to go! Phoebe Buffay : But... Monica Geller : No! No-no! He is totally incompetent. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha-ha! Gotcha!" Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay, but you can't fire him today. Monica Geller : Why not?! Phoebe Buffay : Because I'm dumping him today. Monica Geller : What?! You said he was sweet! Phoebe Buffay : He is sweet. He's too sweet. He calls me all the time. "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?" Monica Geller : Just don't pick up your phone. Phoebe Buffay : Then he comes over! "I'm so worried about you." Uck! Be a man! Monica Geller : What? So now I'm not allowed to fire him? Phoebe Buffay : You can't fire him and dump him the same day, he'll kill himself. Monica Geller : Okay well then, I'll fire him today and you go out with him for another week. Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, I'll kill myself! Monica Geller : Okay well, then we'll both do it today and he'll just have to deal with it! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. But the question is who's gonna go first. 'Cause whoever goes second is the bitch. Monica Geller : What do you mean? Phoebe Buffay : Come on! The boss that fires a guy that's just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy that's just been fired, blond bitch! Monica Geller : I wanted to do this days ago so I think I should go first. Phoebe Buffay : All right, that makes sense. Ugh. But-Screw you I'm going first! Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Hey Toby, you got a sec? Chandler Bing : Sure, what's up? Bob (Chandler's coworker) : I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks I'm not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler? Rachel Green : Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why I'm not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm a Mormon," or "I got so hammered last night I'm still a little drunk?" Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : So, what do you want to do tonight? There's a Ukrainian film at the Angelica that's supposed to be very powerful. Interested? Joey Tribbiani : No. No. But I'll go see a normal person movie with ya. Ross Geller : Rach? You wanna come? Rachel Green : Oh no, I can't. I got a date. Ross Geller : A date? Rachel Green : Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you? Ross Geller : Why no, it's the opposite of weird. It's-it's uh, regular. It's-it's uh, it's mundane. It's actually uh, a little dull. Joey Tribbiani : It's no Ukrainian film. Rachel Green : Yeah-Ooh! Earrings! Ross Geller : A date?! She's-she's got a date?! With who? Joey Tribbiani : I set her up with this actor on my show. Ross Geller : You set her up?! Joey Tribbiani : No Ross Geller : Joey what-what were you thinking?! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was thinking that it'd probably be okay because Ross hasn't gone out with Rachel in five years! Ross Geller : Joey, I'm not worried about her! I'm worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this actor taking them? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm an actor too! I'm not sure. I think they're taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island. Ross Geller : A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?! Joey Tribbiani : Are we talking about one of those big boats that carry cars that go like five miles an hour? Ross Geller : Why don't they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-that's a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! That's fun too! Whew!! Kash : Hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash. Kash : Hey. Ross Geller : Hi. I-I hear you're going on a ferry tonight. Kash : Yeah. Ross Geller : A bit of a daredevil are we? Rachel Green : Hey guys do you think this is too slutty-Hi Kash! Kash : Hey Rachel! You ready to go? Rachel Green : Yeah! All right, I'll see you guys later. Ross Geller : Okay. Have a great time you guys. Rachel Green : Thank you. Kash : Thank you. Ross Geller : Yes it is too slutty! Tim : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Tim : Oh, I'm so glad you called. I feel like it's always me calling you. So, what's up? Is everything okay with Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : It will be...in a minute. Listen, Tim you're a really great guy. Tim : It's because I'm with you. Phoebe Buffay : Aw. I'm just-I'm in a place in my life right now where I...I... Tim : Whoops. Sorry. This just in. Oh, it's 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. Phoebe Buffay : Oh-oh no she doesn't! I know what that is. You can stay. Tim : Awww, I'll miss you too Pheebs. And I will be holding you, right here. Joey Tribbiani : So what movie do you want to see-And not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books. Ross Geller : Books? Joey Tribbiani : All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but it's like enough! Ross Geller : Well, I tell you what. Why don't we uh, why don't we just stay here? Let's not see a movie, we'll just hang. Joey Tribbiani : And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date? Ross Geller : Hey, if that's what you want to do I'm not gonna say no. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! What is going on?! Ross Geller : I just...I have to find out how it went. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Ross Geller : This guy could be my baby's stepfather! Joey Tribbiani : They go on one date and you're worried about them getting married?! He's not you! Ross Geller : I just-I-I can't believe she's-she's dating?! Joey Tribbiani : Well Ross, what did you think she was gonna do? Ross Geller : I don't know! I guess I just can't believe any of this is happening. Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? Ross Geller : It's just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susan's, it's like-It breaks my heart a little. I mean I've always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Y'know? Maybe fight over the science section. Joey Tribbiani : That's a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that! Ross Geller : No! No I can't. I mean Rachel's out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel? Ross Geller : It used to be. Now she doesn't really have a face. Smokin' body though. Joey Tribbiani : Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isn't Rachel. Ross Geller : No but ahh! How much easier would it be if it were? Joey Tribbiani : I know, but I don't think that's what she wants. Ross Geller : No, it's not what I want either. I mean I-I can't force myself to fall in love with her again now. Joey Tribbiani : That's okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? It's not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what there's gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I tell you what. Let's you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on! Ross Geller : We can still catch that Ukrainian film. Joey Tribbiani : No, I said fun! Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Hey Toby! Chandler Bing : Hey Bobby. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : It's Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bing's office is? Chandler Bing : Uhh yeah. Yeah, it's right, right down there. Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why? Bob (Chandler's coworker) : I want to talk to that bastard, see what his problem is. Chandler Bing : Okay Bob listen uhh, I'm the reason you didn't get the job up here. Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Toby don't. Chandler Bing : Bob! Bob (Chandler's coworker) : Toby! I'm not gonna let you cover for him. Anything you say right now will just get me more upset with Chandler! Chandler Bing : Well that puts me in a difficult position. Monica Geller : Hey. Tim : I got your page, is everything okay? Monica Geller : Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe? Tim : Oh it's great! It's great! Thank you so much for introducing us! Monica Geller : Oh my pleasure. Okay, I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Monica! Monica Geller : You're fired! Phoebe Buffay : I'm breaking up with you! Tim : What? Phoebe Buffay : I'm, I'm breaking up with you. Monica Geller : You're fired. Tim : Why? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm just-I'm...I'm just not ready for a relationship right now. Monica Geller : Yeah and-and I'm sorry too. But, well I just-I like things done a certain way and the chemistry's just not right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh that's good, the chemistry thing for us too. Tim : Wow! Umm, okay. Umm... I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, it's only because I think you're so amazing. And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because I-you're the most talented chef I've ever worked for. Anyway... Monica Geller : Tim wait! Tim : Yeah? Monica Geller : Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-there's a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again. Tim : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah. Tim : Thank you so much! 'Cause I-I know I can do better! Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : And Tim I just wanna say, good luck here. Ross Geller : Hello. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Well, how was the date? Rachel Green : Well I'm alone and I just bought fifteen dollars worth of candy bars, what do you think? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. What happened? Rachel Green : I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant. Ross Geller : Ah, he didn't uh, take it so well? Rachel Green : Well better than you, but y'know still not what you want. Ross Geller : Oh? Rachel Green : He got all weird and sputtery and then he said uh, "Yeah, I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch." Ross Geller : He sounds swell. Rachel Green : Doesn't he? Ross Geller : Hey, wanna...wanna a little cheering up? Rachel Green : Yes. Ross Geller : Sit down. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Guess whose middle name is Muriel. Rachel Green : Chandler M. Bing? Ross Geller : Yeah-ha! Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I'm sorry about your date. Rachel Green : Oh it's all right. I'm guess I'm just done with the whole dating thing. It's one more thing in my life that's suddenly completely different. This is hard. Ross Geller : Yeah I know. On the other hand in um, in about seven months you're gonna have something that you're gonna love more than any guy you've ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea. Rachel Green : Thanks sweetie. Ross Geller : You wanna, you wanna grab some coffee? Rachel Green : Oh no, I think I'm gonna go home and eat ten candy bars. Ross Geller : Hey, I thought I cheered you up. Rachel Green : Oh you did, there are twenty in here. Ross Geller : Right. Good night. Rachel Green : Good night. Mona : Ross? Ross Geller : Yeah? Mona : Hey it's Mona! From the wedding. Ross Geller : Oh hi! Mona : Hi! Ross Geller : Wow! Uh...how are you? Mona : I'm good except umm, you still owe me a dance. Ross Geller : Oh that's right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film? Mona : Oh you're serious. Sure! Ross Geller : Great! Well umm... Mona : I think I might need one more cup of coffee. Ross Geller : Sure! Uh, let me get it for ya. Mona : Okay. Chandler Bing : Bob. Bob! Bob!!! What the hell are you doing?! Bob (Chandler's coworker) : I just found out this is Chandler's office! Come on Toby, give me a hand! Monica Geller : Hey you guys? Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : I know it's last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Monica Geller : And everybody has to wear costumes. Come on! It'll be fun! Ross Geller : Well, I'll-I'll be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so... Rachel Green : Please tell me you're not gonna dress up like a dinosaur. Ross Geller : Not two years in a row. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'll come to the party but I'm not dressing up. Monica Geller : You have to! Joey Tribbiani : No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone you're not... Chandler Bing : You're an actor! Monica Geller : So Ross, are you gonna bring Mona? Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah, I think I will. Joey Tribbiani : That hot girl from their wedding? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huh-Ooh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre-No-no-no! Slutty Leatherface. Phoebe Buffay : Now wasn't Joey hitting on her at the wedding too? Ross Geller : That's right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. Please don't take her from me. Phoebe Buffay : Ursula! Wait! Err-err, it's me! Phoebe! Ursula Buffay : Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a second! So, what's new with you? Ursula Buffay : Umm, nothing. I mean, I'm getting married next week. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Ursula Buffay : Yeah! Yeah, it's gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. His. Phoebe Buffay : Huh. Okay. Well, I'm really happy for you. Ursula Buffay : Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess that'd be okay. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Ursula Buffay : Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Okay. Umm, y'know, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy you're marrying. Ursula Buffay : Huh. Well, I'm supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. I'm supposed to be working right now, so who cares. Phoebe Buffay : By the way, it's a costume party. Ursula Buffay : Oh! Okay, so that's why you're... Phoebe Buffay : No. But thanks. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Wait! You're supposed to wear a costume! Rachel Green : I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she won't be able to fit into it. Monica Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : Ahh! Monica Geller : I'm Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when you're too big for it. Rachel Green : Okay. Kids : Trick or treat! Rachel Green : Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Y'know, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts. Kids : Trick or treat!! Rachel Green : Just a minute!!! Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. Witch : Thank you. Rachel Green : And you are a very funny clown. Clown : Thank you. Rachel Green : And you are so in style right now. Y'know, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I don't suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but... Cowgirl : Can I just have the candy? Rachel Green : Yeah. Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again. Monica Geller : So we do Supergirl. Phoebe Buffay : No, it's me. Phoebe! Chandler Bing : Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume... Rachel Green : Oh, you did this to him? Monica Geller : What?! I thought he'd love it! His favorite kid's book was the Velveteen Rabbit! Chandler Bing : The Velveteen Rabbit was brown and white! Monica Geller : Well, it was either a pink bunny or no bunny at all. Chandler Bing : No bunny at all!! Always no bunny at all!!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : You didn't dress up either?! Joey Tribbiani : Yes I did! I'm Chandler. Dude, what happened? Chandler Bing : How is that me? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. I'm Chandler Phoebe Buffay : That is so you! Chandler Bing : When have I ever done that?! Joey Tribbiani : When have I ever done that?! Girl : Trick or treat! Rachel Green : Oh! Well you're just the prettiest ballerina I've ever seen. Ballerina : Thank you. Rachel Green : Oh wow! That deserves another piece of candy. Ballerina : Thank you. Rachel Green : Well, I have to say that earns tutu pieces of candy. Ballerina : I love you! Rachel Green : Ohh... Oh, honey here. Take it all. Monica! We need more candy? Monica Geller : What?! There's only been like four kids. Rachel Green : Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything. Phoebe Buffay : No wonder your pregnant. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey. Monica Geller : What are you supposed to be? Ross Geller : Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? Well, I'm a potato or a...spud. And these are my antennae. So Sputnik, becomes... Spud-nik. Spudnik! Chandler Bing : Wow! I don't have the worst costume anymore! Joey Tribbiani : Hey all right, Ross came as doody. Ross Geller : No, I-I'm not doody. Monica Geller : No, space doody! Eric : Aren't you gonna give me a kiss? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I will. But right after you tell me who the hell you are. Eric : Ursula? Phoebe Buffay : Ursula's fiance? Eric : Oh my God, you're the sister! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Eric : Okay, I just slapped my future sister-in-law's ass. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Eric : I'm an idiot. Uh, is your mother here? Maybe I can give her a little slap on the butt. Phoebe Buffay : My mother killed herself. Eric : She, now I knew that and...now I'm sweating. Look at me, I'm really sweating-Now I'm saying, "Look at me," I'm getting even sweatier. I think I probably should go. Phoebe Buffay : No-no! That's okay, we'll just start over. Okay? Hi! I'm Phoebe. Eric : Eric. Phoebe Buffay : Why are you looking at me like that? Eric : 'Cause the sweat's getting in my eyes and its burning. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. So, what are you? Eric : I don't think they have a name for it. It's just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy. Phoebe Buffay : No I-I meant your costume. Eric : Oh umm, I'm the solar system. Yeah, my students helped me make it-I teach the second grade. Phoebe Buffay : I love the second grade! Eric : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! It's so much better than first grade when you don't know what's going on and definitely better than third grade. Y'know with all the politics and mind games. Eric : So what do you do? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I'm a masseuse...by day. Eric : Y'know you don't have to stand here with me, believe me... Phoebe Buffay : No I'm having fun. I'm really-And I'm really-really excited for you and Ursula. Eric : Oh I feel very lucky, she's great. I think she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Monica Geller : Hey Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : You read comic books right? Joey Tribbiani : Exclusively. Monica Geller : Who do you think would win in a fight, Catwoman or Supergirl? Joey Tribbiani : Catwoman, hands down. Monica Geller : Yeah... Joey Tribbiani : But between you and Phoebe, I'd have to give the edge to Phoebe. Monica Geller : What?! Really?! Joey Tribbiani : Are you kiddin'? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, she's got this crazy temper. She-She's not standing right behind me is she? Monica Geller : No you're fine. All right well, do you think I could take Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : I'm not sure. Monica Geller : What?! Come on I am tough! Punch me right here! As hard as you can! Joey Tribbiani : Will you relax?! What are you taking this so seriously for? It doesn't matter. Monica Geller : Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, y'know, Ross or Chandler could beat you up? Joey Tribbiani : I would say, "Woman, please!" Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ursula's fiance is really sweet! He's a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Y'know normally y'know, I don't like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up! Monica Geller : Oh my God, Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : You're getting a crush on your sister's fiance. Phoebe Buffay : No I'm not! You are! Joey Tribbiani : Here comes the temper. Girl : Trick or treat! Rachel Green : Hi! Y'know what honey, we're actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but I'm out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check? Girl : Okay! Rachel Green : Okay, what's your name? Girl : Lelani Mayolanofavich. Rachel Green : Okay, I'm just gonna write this out to cash. Mona : Hi! Rachel Green : Hey Mona! Chandler Bing : Oh! Hi! Mona : Hi! Chandler Bing : Joey's gonna be thrilled! He was hoping you'd come by as a slutty nurse. Mona : Umm, actually I'm just a nurse. Chandler Bing : You'd think that would embarrass me, but you see I'm maxed out. Ross Geller : Hey! Mona : Hi! Ross Geller : You made it! Mona : Wait-wait! You're umm, you're a potato... Ross Geller : Well, I'm a spud... Mona : And the antennae...Oh my God you're Spudnik! Ross Geller : Yes! Chandler Bing : Marry her. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here's a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler. Monica Geller : I can't answer that! Chandler's my husband. Joey Tribbiani : So Ross? Monica Geller : Yeah. Eric : Hey beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Hello handsome. Oh God. Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet? Eric : Two weeks ago. Phoebe Buffay : Two weeks? That's it? Eric : Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and it's not like me to do something so impulsive, but she's just so perfect, and we have so much in common. Phoebe Buffay : Oh really? Eric : We're both teachers. Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Eric : And we were both in the Peace Corps. Phoebe Buffay : Peace Corps, really? Eric : In fact when we were building houses in Uruguay, we were, we were just two towns apart and we never met. Ursula Buffay : Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. Shall we get me really drunk? Eric : Sure. Chandler Bing : Howdy doody. Ross Geller : That's funny. Yeah. Y'know you're the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear. Chandler Bing : Oh relax man, relax. You're looking a little flushed. Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question. Chandler Bing : What question? Joey Tribbiani : Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross? Chandler Bing : There's no question. Joey Tribbiani : So you think Ross too? Chandler Bing : You picked Ross?! Monica Geller : Ross is really strong! Okay, he's the strongest out of all three of you! Except for Joey. Chandler Bing : I cannot believe you didn't pick me. Ross Geller : Uh, in her defense, she's right. I am stronger. I would destroy you. Chandler Bing : Oh really?! You think you're stronger? Why don't you prove it? Ross Geller : Oh I'll prove it! I'll prove it like a theorem!! Monica Geller : Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! Now listen, no one's gonna fight in this apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Monica! People came to see a fight, let's give 'em what they came for! Mona : Hey, you guys could arm wrestle. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse. Chandler Bing : You're going down. Ross Geller : Oh yeah? You're going further down! Downtown! Joey Tribbiani : Seriously guys, the trash talk is embarrassing. Rachel Green : Oh Gunther! You brought candy! Thank you so much for picking this up! You are so sweet. Gunther : Really? Rachel Green : Honey, someday you are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world. Kid : Trick or treat! Rachel Green : Gotta go! Hi! Wow! There you go! Boy In The Cape : My friend Lewis told me you were giving out money. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, we were but umm, now we've got candy. Boy In The Cape : I'd rather have the money. Rachel Green : Well, that-that's not your choice. Happy Halloween! Boy In The Cape : This isn't fair. Rachel Green : Well is it fair that all you did was put on a cape and I gotta give you free stuff? Boy In The Cape : Shut up! Rachel Green : You shut up! Boy In The Cape : You can't tell me to shut up! Rachel Green : Uh, I think I just did. And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up! Joey Tribbiani : Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah I know-I'm good-I got it! Now wait a minute, I've got one more thing I have to say to you...oh right! Shut up! Boy In The Cape : You're a mean old woman. Rachel Green : No! Wait no! Shut up-I mean don't cry! Let me get my checkbook! Monica Geller : Look honey, you don't have to do this, okay? It's the strength you have inside that means the most to me. You're loyal, you're honest, and you have integrity! That's the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love! Chandler Bing : That means nothing to me. Come on! Phoebe Buffay : Hi liar! Ursula Buffay : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know the only reason he's marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true. Ursula Buffay : Well they could be true. Phoebe Buffay : But they're not! Ursula Buffay : Yeah, it's a fine line huh? Phoebe Buffay : Why are you lying to him? Ursula Buffay : I don't know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun. Eric : Honey? Ursula Buffay : It's a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now! Eric : She's helped so many people to quit smoking. Ursula Buffay : Y'know, we'd really better get going. Eric : Oh right, you've got a church group meeting tonight. Ursula Buffay : Right. Eric : Well, it was nice meeting you. Phoebe Buffay : You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!! Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs come on! Bunny vs. Doody! We're waiting! Okay. Okay guys, one match, winner take all. Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get? Ross Geller : Pride. Chandler Bing : And dignity. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, if you say so. All right, ready? Set! Go! Mona : Wow! They're both really strong. Joey Tribbiani : Or equally weak. Monica Geller : Oh God! Phoebe Buffay : Hmm? Monica Geller : Chandler's making his sex face. Ross Geller : So, you gettin' tired? Chandler Bing : Nope! I can do this all day. Ross Geller : Yeah? Me too. Gettin' a little tired though. Chandler Bing : God, I'm exhausted. Ross Geller : Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Mona's standing right over there. Oh God, she's talking to Joey! You gotta let me win! Chandler Bing : No way! If anything you've gotta let me win! My wife thinks I'm a wimp! Ross Geller : Hey, at least you have a wife! I-I keep getting divorces and knockin' people up! And I'm dressed as doody. Chandler Bing : You're Spudnik. Ross Geller : Come on, who are we kidding? I'm doody. Please? She's watchin'. Chandler Bing : Fine. Oh no! Ross Geller : Oh yeah! Mona : Yay! My hero! Joey Tribbiani : You're a weird lady. Eric : Hey. Ursula said she left her purse. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Eric : What a relief. It has all the numbers of the people in her prayer chain. Phoebe Buffay : Sure it does. Yeah, yeah. Eric : Well, I guess I'll see you at the wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Umm listen, I don't think...I don't think I'm gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world. Eric : I think we'll be okay. Besides it's so perfect and she's been saving herself for me. Phoebe Buffay : Okay I can't let you do this! She's lying to you. Eric : What? Phoebe Buffay : She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. Okay. Okay. Yeah-Not a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. Okay, here's the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, here's her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was? Eric : She told me she was 25. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I almost don't want to show this. Just remember I'm a minute younger. Eric : I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! She's not a teacher. There's not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies. Phoebe Buffay : No. You're not, you're not stupid. Eric : I'm not smart. I just wanted so much to...be impulsive once. To be romantic. Phoebe Buffay : That's good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just...you did it with the wrong person. What? Eric : It's just so weird, two people look so much alike, and so different. Ursula Buffay : Eric!! Let's go!! Eric : I'd better go, deal... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you should. Ursula Buffay : Hurry up I gotta pray!! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Well, I had to give the kid fifty bucks to stop crying. Joey Tribbiani : That's not so bad. Rachel Green : No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children! Joey Tribbiani : Come on! You're good with kids. They're just crazy on Halloween. Y'know, they're all greedy and hopped up on sugar! Rachel Green : Really? You think that's all it is? Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas...and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime they're hungry or sleepy. Y'know, kids are tough. Good luck with that. Monica Geller : Look, I wanted to tell I'm-I'm sorry you lost. Chandler Bing : Listen, I've got a secret for ya. I let him win. Monica Geller : Is that a secret or a lie. Chandler Bing : No, I let him win-Ross! Ross Geller : Yeah? Chandler Bing : Would you tell her I let you win please? Ross Geller : Oh. Yeah. Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandler's really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! Chandler Bing : I am strong! I'll show you! Monica Geller : Chandler please! Chandler Bing : Oh what's the matter? Are you scared? Monica Geller : Let's go big bunny! Chandler Bing : Okay. 1...2...3-Go! I'm gonna kill myself! Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You cleaned! Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works! Chandler Bing : Y'know uh, I didn't actually do this. Monica Geller : Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again? Chandler Bing : No, it wasn't you. Monica Geller : Well then who? Chandler Bing : I got a maid. Yay! Monica Geller : I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then... Chandler Bing : Uh honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control... Monica Geller : Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose! Chandler Bing : Look, she's really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges. Monica Geller : Did she really say that? Chandler Bing : Yes, I distinctly remember 'cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay? Monica Geller : Fine, I can do it. Whew. Chandler Bing : What's the matter? Monica Geller : Well, usually when I'm this anxious, I clean! Phoebe Buffay : Who's cell phone is that? It's just so annoying; everywhere you go. Ross Geller : I think it's coming from your bag. Phoebe Buffay : I never get calls!! Hello? Eric : Hi, it's Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursula's fiance. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God Eric hi! Wait, how'd you get this number? Eric : Oh, I have a friend who's a cop and he got it for me. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! What an incredible violation-and wonderful surprise. Eric : Uh listen, I just-I thought you should know I broke up with Ursula. Phoebe Buffay : Oh you did? He did it! He did it! Rachel Green : Wow! What did he do? Phoebe Buffay : Shhh! I'm talking. Eric : Anyway, I was wondering if, you were the sort of person who...eats lunch. Phoebe Buffay : Are you asking me out? 'Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister. Eric : Yeah uh...okay. I'm-I'm sorry. Bye. Phoebe Buffay : No! Wait! I was just saying that so you'd think I was a good person. Fight for me. Eric : Uhh, I won't take no for an answer. Phoebe Buffay : Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours. Eric : Great! But wh-wh-How do you know where I live? Phoebe Buffay : I've got friends too. Okay, bye. Eric : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I'm going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I can't make lunch. Ross Geller : So apparently I'm available for lunch. Rachel Green : I can't. I'm busy. I'm apartment hunting. Ross Geller : You're moving? Rachel Green : Yeah, I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, "How you doin'?" Ross Geller : So does-does Joey know you're moving? Rachel Green : Well, I haven't discussed it with him yet, but I know he's gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book. Ross Geller : That's not really porn. Rachel Green : Not so much. Ross Geller : Hey, y'know what and if you're looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view? Ross Geller : Well I don't know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. With your permission. Rachel Green : Yeah that would really be great. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldn't. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect. Ross Geller : Yeah. No. No you're right. Rachel Green : Shall we? Ross Geller : Yeah. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : Yes? Ross Geller : Hi. I'm Ross Geller. I live in the building. Rachel Green : And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building. Ross Geller : I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and I'm so sorry for your loss. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : She didn't pass. Ross Geller : What? Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : My mother's still alive. Ross Geller : Oh, thank God! Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but she's a tough old bird. Rachel Green : Ahh. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : Are you close with her? Ross Geller : Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in the laundry room. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : You Speak Dutch? Zeer Vereerd Een Vriend Van Mijn Moeder Te Ontmoeten. Ross Geller : Y'know I would it's just painful. Rachel Green : So she's really not dead. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : No, she's hanging in there. Rachel Green : Hmm. Do you think-Could you tell me if she's hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two? Brenda : Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Where'd you get it? Monica Geller : Oh well umm, I make it myself! It's two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is...y'know what? We just met. Brenda : Okay. Uhh, I'm gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back I'll clean behind the refrigerator. Monica Geller : I love her. Brenda : I'll be back in a minute. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : See? I told you. Monica Geller : She stole my jeans! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them! Chandler Bing : So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you? Monica Geller : Don't you see? It's the perfect crime! Chandler Bing : She must've been planning this for years! Monica Geller : I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain! Chandler Bing : Honey, isn't it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair? Monica Geller : I guess. Chandler Bing : So, shouldn't we go give her the benefit of the doubt before we go...snooping around her crotch? Monica Geller : Fine. I'm just glad I didn't give her my secret ingredient. Chandler Bing : Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient? Monica Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Eric : Come in, I'm so glad you're here. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, me too. Not in the shaky angry way you are though. Eric : Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Eric : Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just...I got so angry just looking at her......face. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Yeah. Eric : I'm sorry. I just...when I look at you I see her. When I see her I get a little bit angry. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe this is too weird. Eric : No wait! There's only a problem when I look at you. Oh I got it! I got it. Phoebe Buffay : No don't tear out your eyes!! Eric : I was just, I was just gonna take out my lenses. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah try that. So, is that better? Eric : Not really. You...you're blurry, but you still look like Ursula. You're Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe...If I-if I just don't look at you for a while. See? It...it works. I'm not, I'm not angry at all anymore! This is a great date! Phoebe Buffay : Look Eric, turn around. Look, I like you, but it shouldn't be this hard. Y'know? This is our first date y'know? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and 'Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand?' and y'know first kisses and......second kisses. Ross Geller : Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. Gunther : Jij Spreekt Nederlands? Dat Is Te Gek. Heb Je Familie Daar? Ross Geller : Yeah, we're done. Gunther : Ezel. Ross Geller : Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools? Ross Geller : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler. Ross Geller : Sweet! Joey Tribbiani : All right, well finish your coffee; let's go. Ross Geller : Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first. Joey Tribbiani : To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, you're not gonna be on TV! Ross Geller : No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're switching apartments? Ross Geller : It's not for me, it's for Rachel. Joey Tribbiani : But Rachel has an apartment. Ross Geller : Yeah, but when the baby comes she's gonna want to move. Joey Tribbiani : She is? Ross Geller : Yeah, you didn't expect her to live there with a baby did you? Joey Tribbiani : I guess I didn't really think about it. Ross Geller : Ezel! Hey Gunther! You're an ezel! Gunther : Jij Hebt Seks Met Ezels. Ross Geller : Damnit! Monica Geller : Nice jeans! Brenda : Oh thanks! I like your top. Monica Geller : Oh. You're not gettin' it. Brenda : What happened?! Monica Geller : Oh, I fell asleep. Brenda : I was thinking about taking my lunch break. Monica Geller : Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? That'll really work up your appetite for lunch. Brenda : All right. Monica Geller : Hello. Brenda : What's going on?! Monica Geller : I'm sorry. I've never had a maid before, is this not okay? Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : How was the game? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, okay. I...I ate way too much. Rachel Green : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh. So umm, I was talkin' to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place. Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Hopefully across the street if certain Dutch people would just let go. Joey Tribbiani : I was kinda hoping you'd stay. Rachel Green : Oh but Joey, I have to go. There's no room for a baby here. Joey Tribbiani : No room? It's a baby. It's like this big. Y'know, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. Or-or-or we could put it right here. Aw, it's cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. You wouldn't even notice it. Where's the baby? Rachel Green : Honey, it's not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when there's a screaming baby around. Joey Tribbiani : I could use a challenge! It's getting pretty easy. Rachel Green : Honey, it's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I can't do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life. Joey Tribbiani : I love living with you so much. I just wish things didn't have to change. Rachel Green : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know I blame Ross for this. Rachel Green : I do too a little bit. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna miss you, you're the hottest roommate I ever had. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment. Eric : Oh no, stay here we'll keep doing this. I'll pay you. Phoebe Buffay : No, I got in trouble for that before. I'll see you later. Eric : Absolutely. I love the way you kiss. Phoebe Buffay : Really? That's the thing I'm worse at! You'll see. Chandler Bing : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Umm, I think Brenda needs a raise. Chandler Bing : How come? Monica Geller : Because I put my head between her legs. Chandler Bing : To see her pants? Monica Geller : They're my pants! Chandler Bing : Are you sure? Did you see the stain? Monica Geller : No! I was just getting into position and then everything went dark. Chandler Bing : God! She is not stealing from us! Okay, will you let this go? Monica Geller : Fine. She's wearing my bra! Chandler Bing : Oh dear God! Monica Geller : My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap! Chandler Bing : And yet you don't recognize that you're crazy. Monica Geller : Here's the plan! Okay? I'm going to leave you get a look at Brenda's bra! Chandler Bing : Here's another plan...No! Monica Geller : I would do it but she thinks I'm attracted to her! Chandler Bing : Why? Monica Geller : Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on we're a team! We're in this together! Chandler Bing : I fear a jury will see it the same way! Monica Geller : Do this for me! Come on, I catch you looking at woman's breasts all the time! Chandler Bing : You see that? Monica Geller : Do you see this? Chandler Bing : All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if it's not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?! Monica Geller : Yes! Absolutely. Okay? Look, you'll know it's mine because on the right cup, the lacey part, there's a very noticeable rip. Chandler Bing : You need new clothes. Ross Geller : Hi. How is she? Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : It's not looking good. Ross Geller : Oh. Oh. Well I uh, I brought her some bloemen. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : That's so sweet. Would you like to come in and say good-bye? I'm sure it would mean a lot to her. Ross Geller : Oh I don't know that it would. Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter : Well, her memory is pretty much gone. Ross Geller : All right then. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Eric : Welcome back! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Can we pick up where we left off? Eric : I don't know, I'm still pretty tired out from this afternoon. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Eric : Uh, the sex. Phoebe Buffay : What sex? Eric : Our sex. Phoebe Buffay : We didn't have sex. Eric : Well if I didn't have sex with you, I had sex with someone that looked an awful lot like... Phoebe Buffay : Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Eric : Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No! Phoebe Buffay : You-you...you had sex with Ursula?! Eric : Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and... Phoebe Buffay : You didn't notice she was wearing different clothes?! Eric : Well I was just so excited to see you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Y'know what? This is too weird. Eric : No-no it's not! I don't want to lose you! It's-it's like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was you-Yeah it is too weird. Phoebe Buffay : So I guess this is it. Eric : Yeah. Maybe it's for the best. You smell just like her. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so do you. Brenda : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : I'm leaning. This is where I lean. Brenda : Okay. (Goes over and fluffs up the pillows on the couch. Chandler Bing : Brenda a bee! Brenda : What? Chandler Bing : Yes! It's flown into your blouse and you'd better undo your buttons lest it sting you! Brenda : I think I know what's going on here. Chandler Bing : You do? Brenda : Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but it's wrong. You're married. Chandler Bing : I totally understand. Can I just see your bra? Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Where did you get those jeans?! Rachel Green : You gave them to me! Monica Geller : No I didn't! Rachel Green : All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch. Monica Geller : Oh no! Did you take my bra too?! Rachel Green : What bra? Monica Geller : The pink one with the flowers?! Rachel Green : You mean the one that you're wearing? Brenda : I quit! Monica Geller : Sounds about right. Rachel Green : What is this? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uh-Oh look! Here's a baby monitor , which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh? Rachel Green : You're so sweet. Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! Joey Tribbiani : Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.... That-that-that's really just to show where the baby would go. Y'know why don't I hold on to him so that there's no confusion? Rachel Green : But Joey the baby is going to be crying, it's going to be loud. Joey Tribbiani : I'm loud! Rachel Green : It's gonna be up all night! Joey Tribbiani : I'm up all night! Rachel Green : It's gonna poop! Joey Tribbiani : Hello! Rachel Green : What about all the women you want to bring home? Joey Tribbiani : Look, if I'm bringing home a woman who can't stand being around a baby, then maybe I don't want to be with that woman! Or maybe we'll just do it in the bathroom of the club! Rachel Green : Joey, are you sure? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! All right-Look, I know sometimes it'll be hard, okay? But, it'll also be really...really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay. Rachel Green : I want me to stay too. Joey Tribbiani : Ohh! Rachel Green : Thank you. Oh Joey and look at this crib! It's so cute! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I found it on the street. Rachel Green : Are you serious-Really?! It's in such good condition. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Wow! Whoa-whoa what's under the covers? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Rachel Green : It's moving. Joey Tribbiani : Ew. Rachel Green : It's still--It's got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Ah! Okay! Ross Geller : Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I don't care, because you got the apartment. Yes! Rachel Green : Ewww. Yeah. Umm. I think I'm gonna stay here. Joey Tribbiani : Isn't that great? Ross Geller : Ezels!! Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Huh? Rachel Green : I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow night, do you wanna come? Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Yeah, he's kinda sexy. Rachel Green : Oh no, no, I'll be there too. Phoebe Buffay : Okay so, we'll just come up with some kind of signal if it's going well you can take off. Rachel Green : No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Why not? Rachel Green : 'Cause I know he's gonna flip out and I hate it when he's angry. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Rachel, this is all so 'Papa don't preach.' Rachel Green : What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again he'd make me eat the entire pack. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Oh well, I will be there! Rachel Green : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Gosh. I'm not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him. Monica Geller : No you don't! Rachel Green : No you don't. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God!!! Monica!! He's the stripper from your bachelorette party!! Chandler Bing : Her what?!! Phoebe Buffay : Your secret bachelorette party... Chandler Bing : You had a bachelorette party?! Phoebe Buffay : She untied his G-string with her teeth. Somebody stop me! Chandler Bing : I thought we weren't gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Y'know, we agreed that it was a silly tradition. Joey Tribbiani : It's a grand tradition! Monica Geller : I'm sorry, they surprised me. There was nothing I could do! Rachel Green : Well you could've untied it with your hands. Joey Tribbiani : This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasn't allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner! Chandler Bing : You went home with the waitress. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night. Chandler Bing : I can't believe you didn't tell me! You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty! Monica Geller : Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass! Leonard Green : How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I-I don't eat meat. Leonard Green : It's chicken. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I don't eat that either. Leonard Green : I'll never understand you lesbians. So baby, tell me...what is new with you. Rachel Green : Well actually umm... Waiter : Your '74 Lafite sir. Leonard Green : '74?! I ordered the '75! That's a magnificent wine! The '74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter? Waiter : This is why I told the manager I wouldn't wait on you tonight! Leonard Green : Oh come on! Don't be such a baby! Rachel Green : In case you didn't notice, that is a scary man. Phoebe Buffay : He's right though, the '74 is absolute piss. Rachel Green : This was such a huge mistake. I can't tell him Phoebe. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't... Phoebe Buffay : Rachel! Rachel Green : No it's okay, this is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him. Phoebe Buffay : Why, so he can get mad at the baby? Rachel Green : Hey, that is the...baby's problem. Oh, everything okay with the waiter? Leonard Green : I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you. Rachel Green : Well... Umm, I got TiVo. Leonard Green : What's TiVo? Phoebe Buffay : It's slang for pregnant. Rachel Green : Phoebe! Leonard Green : Are you really pregnant? Rachel Green : Well uh, yes and no. Except not no. So to sum it up, yeah. Leonard Green : Who is the father? Oh no! Please don't tell me it's her! Rachel Green : No, it's Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross. Oh daddy, I hope you're okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. You're gonna-This is your first grandchild! You're gonna be a poppy! Leonard Green : That's true. Rachel Green : Yeah. Leonard Green : Poppy. Oh, I'm gonna be a poppy. So when is the wedding? Rachel Green : Who? Leonard Green : The wedding! There's going to be a wedding. Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!! Rachel Green : February 2nd! Mona : So it was really cool seeing you lecture today. Ross Geller : Oh thanks. Although it kinda seemed like you were falling asleep there a little. Mona : Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and y'know take it all in. Ross Geller : Yeah, a lot of my students do that. Mona : So, I gotta get going. Ross Geller : Okay, I-I'll see you tonight. Mona : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay, bye. Mona : Oh hey, thanks again for showing me your semi-precious stone collection. It was amazing! Chandler Bing : My God! You must be good in bed! Joey Tribbiani : So uh, you and Mona, been a while now. How's it going? Ross Geller : Ah, it's good. It's going good. I mean, we get along great. She's, she's so... Joey Tribbiani : Hot? Ross Geller : Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah-huh! Chandler Bing : She's okay with Rachel and the baby? Ross Geller : Well I...I haven't actually told her yet. I don't want to scare her off, y'know? Chandler Bing : Well, you have to honest with her! Otherwise you may think that you're going down the same path, but you're really going down different ones. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna take that book and beat you to death with it. Monica Geller : Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight you're gonna have a bachelor party. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?! Chandler Bing : Honey! That's crazy! I don't want you to get me a stripper... Joey Tribbiani : Will you let the lady talk?! Monica Geller : Come on! Come on, it'll be fun! It'll make me feel so much better. Chandler Bing : Look, I appreciate it, but uh, it's a little creepy. Y'know? I'm not a bachelor anymore. Monica Geller : So don't think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a...a two month anniversary present. Ross Geller : Sure, one year is paper, but two months is lapdance! Monica Geller : Please! I feel so bad! Just watch the hot woman get naked! Chandler Bing : All right fine! But I'm only doing this for you! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Chandler Bing : And Joey. Monica Geller : Thank you. All right, now who else do you want to invite? Chandler Bing : Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough. Ross Geller : Uh actually, sorry I can't even make it. I'm seeing Mona again tonight. Chandler Bing : I Understand who would cancel an actual date to go to a fake bachelor party? Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby... Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day. Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah. Rachel Green : I know. I know. I panicked, I panicked. I didn't want him to start yelling at me like I was some '74 Latour. Phoebe Buffay : It's Lafite. The '74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely. Rachel Green : All right here he comes. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna tell him, I'm gonna be strong. Leonard Green : I just called a friend of mine. Rachel Green : Yeah? Leonard Green : I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice. Rachel Green : Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down. Leonard Green : What is it sweetie? Rachel Green : There's not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married. Leonard Green : What?! Rachel Green : I'm sorry daddy. Leonard Green : I don't believe this!! Rachel Green : Oh now daddy, stay calm. Please. Leonard Green : Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross won't marry you?! That's it! Is that it?! Rachel Green : Yes. Yes, he says I'm damaged goods. Joey Tribbiani : So you uh, nervous about getting married? Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Look, look let's pretend it's a real bachelor party. Okay? Y'know? Before your wedding. Come on, it'll be fun. Chandler Bing : Okay. I can't believe tomorrow's the big day. Joey Tribbiani : How does it feel knowing you're never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing you're gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death. Chandler Bing : You're right, this is more fun. Joey Tribbiani : That's her! Okay, come on! Stripper : Hi! Chandler Bing : Hi. Stripper : So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, that-that's-that's me! Chandler Bing : That's me. Joey Tribbiani : Joey Tribbiani, a big fan. Stripper : So is that a bedroom? Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah right over there. Stripper : All right, whenever you're ready. Chandler Bing : That was weird. Joey Tribbiani : Why-why would she go in the bedroom? Stripper : I'm waiting. Chandler Bing : So she's a... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's one naked hooker! Mona : I love your place! Where is this guy from? Ross Geller : Uh that's an eighteenth century Indian artifact from Calcutta. Mona : Oh wow! So, you're more than just dinosaurs. Ross Geller : So much more. Mona : Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Ross Geller : Aw forget it, it's from Pier One. Sorry. Leonard Green : You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?! I'm gonna kill you!! Ross Geller : Y'know this is actually not a great time for me. Leonard Green : So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant! Mona : You got Rachel pregnant?! Ross Geller : Who did?! Leonard Green : You did! Ross Geller : Yes. Yes, yes I did. But-but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing. Leonard Green : Oh? Really? That's what my daughter means to you? Nothing? Ross Geller : No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I care-I-I love Rachel. Mona : What?! Ross Geller : Oh but not that way. I mean...I mean I'm not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend. Leonard Green : Oh really? That's how treat a friend? You get her in trouble and then refuse to marry her? Ross Geller : Hey! I offered to marry her! Mona : Wh... Ross Geller : But I didn't want to. Leonard Green : Well why not? So you can spend your time with this tramp?! Mona : Tramp?! Ross Geller : I'm sorry. Dr. Green, Mona. Mona, Dr. Green. Chandler Bing : I can't believe there is a naked hooker in there! Joey Tribbiani : Wait! Wait! Maybe she's a hooker and a stripper, but she got confused about what she's supposed to do. Chandler Bing : Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. Ma'am, are you also a stripper? Hooker : Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but that's gonna cost extra. Okay, here's the extras, handcuffs, spanking... Joey Tribbiani : Maybe Monica's playing a joke on ya. Y'know? Getting her own husband a hooker, that's pretty funny. Chandler Bing : That is funny, maybe for my birthday she'll murder someone. Joey Tribbiani : I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy. Hooker : Do you mind if I smoke in here? Chandler Bing : Oh actually, I'd rather you...Yeah, go ahead. We're gonna have to burn that room down anyway. Mona : How could you have kept all of this from me? Ross Geller : I was going to tell you, but... Leonard Green : But what?! You figured you'd get what you wanted and then dump her like you dumped Rachel! Ross Geller : Hey! I did not dump Rachel! Nor are we still together. Can I just... Why don't we just let the machine get that? Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross. It's Joey. There's a hooker over here and we thought maybe you'd know something about it. Ross Geller : No! No! No! No! No! I-I-I-I-I need to, I need to lie down. Stu : So, tonight's the night of the big bachelor party? Monica Geller : Yeah! Hey! Thanks for getting me that girl's number. Stu : No problem. So who's the party for? Monica Geller : My husband. Stu : You hired your husband a hooker? Monica Geller : She's a stripper. Stu : No, she's a hooker. Monica Geller : Is that, is that what they call strippers sometimes? Stu : When they're hookers. Monica Geller : Oh my God Stu! I-I can't believe you did this! Now are you absolutely sure she's a hooker? Stu : Either that or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe she meant to get you a hooker. Chandler Bing : Why would she do that? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe she wants you to learn something. Huh? Now is there anything you're really bad at y'know, sexually? Chandler Bing : This is the worst bachelor party ever! Hooker : What's taking you boys so long? Joey Tribbiani : In a minute! Chandler Bing : In a minute? What's gonna happen in a minute?! Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right maybe-maybe you should just ask her to leave. Chandler Bing : Why me?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! It's your bachelor party. Chandler Bing : Which is why you should do it. Joey Tribbiani : I don't want to. You do it! Chandler Bing : You do it! Joey Tribbiani : You do it! Chandler Bing : All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! What? Joey Tribbiani : I miss this. Chandler Bing : I don't think we've actually done this before! Joey Tribbiani : No, I-I miss hanging out with you. Chandler Bing : Well we...we still hang out. Joey Tribbiani : Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Y'know now it's like...things are different. Chandler Bing : Well y'know, things are different. I'm...I'm married now. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sure-And hey, don't get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys. I just...I miss...hanging out...just-just us, y'know? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on we'll make time to hang out with each other. Joey Tribbiani : You got it. Come here. Hooker : Oh God! Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys. Monica Geller : She's a hooker! She's a hooker! She's a... Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. Ross Geller : So your dad dropped by. He's a pleasant man! Rachel Green : Oh no... Phoebe Buffay : I'D Better Go. Just Over Here I don't want to miss the fight. Rachel Green : Ross I'm so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail. Ross Geller : I don't care about your dad! I care about Mona! She was there and now she's totally freaked out! Rachel Green : Oh okay, I'll fix that to. What's her e-mail address? Ross Geller : Rachel! Rachel Green : All right, I promise. I'll fix this. I swear. I'll-I'll-I'll-I'll talk to her. Ross Geller : Okay! Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : That's it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we weren't!" What happened to you two?! Ross Geller : Thank you so much for coming back over. Mona : Oh good, you're here. Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to be uncomfortable. Rachel Green : I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, I'm so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. You're gonna have to tell me how you did that. Ross Geller : Focus. Rachel Green : Okay. Um...But-Okay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together. Mona : How can I be sure on that? Rachel Green : Oh we just-we drove each other crazy! Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : I mean he was possessive, he was jealous, he could never just let the little things go! Ross Geller : Trying to date this woman. Rachel Green : Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. Ross Geller : Probably shouldn't touch me. Mona : Y'know, I-I-I just...I don't want to get in the middle of something so complicated. Rachel Green : I know, I get it, but Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean we all have our baggage! You must too! Why else would you still be single? I am so gonna leave right now. Ross Geller : Should I leave this open for you too? Mona : I'm not sure yet. Why didn't you just tell me about all this? Ross Geller : Because what's going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you. Mona : Yeah? Well you still shoulda told me. Ross Geller : I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachel's father. Look I...I made a mistake, but it's only because I really, really like you. Really! Mona : Okay, I guess you can...close the door now. Rachel Green : Forgot my purse! Oh, you guys made up. He's a good kisser isn't he? I'm going! Monica Geller : I swear I didn't know she was a hooker! I mean wh-Did you let her smoke in here? Chandler Bing : Her ass print is still on your grandmother's quilt, do you really want to talk about smoking? Monica Geller : Y'know what? I'm gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper , and you're gonna get a stripper. Chandler Bing : Monica! Wait! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Carry on. Monica Geller : Ooh, these tennis shoes are so tight. I think I'll take them off. Chandler Bing : Could you not narrate? Monica Geller : Gotcha sailor. Leonard Green : ...just because you're not in love with the guy you can't... Phoebe Buffay : Wow, you told your dad the truth. Rachel Green : About an hour ago. Phoebe Buffay : Wanna go see a movie? Rachel Green : Yes! Bye daddy. Leonard Green : ...there's gonna be a wedding! That's unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! ...constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! What gives you the right to... Go to hell! Stupid guy on my phone. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back. Rachel Green : Oh my...God! Let me see that! Joey Tribbiani : You fall for it every time! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : I brought you my old maternity clothes! Rachel Green : Oh Pheebs that's so sweet--Ooh, those are so cute! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! And look, see how they expand as the baby grows? And then after the baby's born, they're great for shoplifting melons. Monica Geller : Oh good you're all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four o'clock. Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school? Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : He was in Ross's class...marching band...kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend. Rachel Green : Wow! I don't remember him. Honey, are you sure you're not talking about your imaginary boyfriend. Monica Geller : No that was Jarred! Wow! I haven't thought about him in a long time... Anyway, umm Will's, Will's here on business and he didn't have a place to go so I invited him here. Rachel Green : Oh that's nice. Monica Geller : Oh, and by the way, he's lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! I still love Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : I just want you to say it once in a while. Monica Geller : All right okay, just so you know, I'm not gonna make a turkey this year. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Monica Geller : Well Phoebe doesn't eat turkey... Joey Tribbiani : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Turkey's are beautiful, intelligent animals! Joey Tribbiani : No they're not! They're ugly and stupid and delicious! Monica Geller : All right! Okay, it's just Phoebe. Will's still on a diet, Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachel's having her aversion to poultry. Joey Tribbiani : She is? Rachel Green : Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table. Monica Geller : Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? It's a lot of work. Joey Tribbiani : But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas! Monica Geller : All right fine! If it means that much to you! But just-there's gonna be a ton left over. Joey Tribbiani : No there won't! I promise I will finish that turkey! Monica Geller : All right, you're telling me you can eat an entire turkey in just one sitting? Joey Tribbiani : That's right! 'Cause I'm a Tribbiani! And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we don't read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat! Monica Geller : Hey, isn't weird to think about how next year at this time they'll be a little baby at the table? Rachel's! But good to know where you're at! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Happy Thanksgiving! Monica Geller : You too! Phoebe Buffay : Anything I can do to help? Monica Geller : Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but he's really into the game so I don't want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Monica Geller : I'm gonna go across the hall to check on the yams. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! We're not at a barn dance. You've gotta-you wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. So how's the game? Chandler Bing : I have no idea. Phoebe Buffay : What? Chandler Bing : Yeah! I'm just pretending to watch the game so I don't have to help out with stuff. Phoebe Buffay : I don't believe you! That is...brilliant! And Monica has no idea? Chandler Bing : Nope! Every once and a while I just scream stuff at the TV. Monica Geller : Is your team winning hon? Chandler Bing : Yeah! Anderson just scored again! There's no Anderson. Phoebe Buffay : Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I don't think I can help you after all, I didn't realize this game was on. Monica Geller : Oh, I didn't know you liked football. Phoebe Buffay : Well normally I don't, but y'know......Green Bay is playing. Monica Geller : You like Green Bay? Phoebe Buffay : Well it's only like my favorite bay! {Actually, it's not bad. It just gets a little cold in winter, but in Wisconsin winter only lasts from August to June. J } Monica Geller : Hey! Will Colbert : Hey! Will Colbert : Happy Thanksgiving! Monica Geller : Aww thanks! God Will I'm so glad that you came! You look great! You must've lost like... Will Colbert : 150 pounds. Yeah, I'm gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials. Monica Geller : A pie! Will Colbert : Oh right. All right, it's no fat, it's no sugar, it's no dairy...it's no good. Throw it out. Monica Geller : You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will. Will Colbert : Hey. Chandler Bing : Oh hey. I'd shake your hand but uh; I'm really into the game. Plus, I think it'd be better for my ego if we didn't stand right next to each other. Monica Geller : This is Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Wow! Well done. Monica Geller : Wanna give me a hand? Will Colbert : Sure! Monica, I can't get over how great you look! You look stunning! Monica Geller : Well you look incredible too! You're just-you're so fit! Chandler Bing : I'm watching the game, but I'm not deaf! Monica Geller : Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming. Will Colbert : Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross! Monica Geller : Good. And Rachel Green too. Will Colbert : Oh. Monica Geller : Is there a problem? Will Colbert : Nope. Uh, it's okay. It's just uh, God I hated her. Monica Geller : What? Will Colbert : Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, I'm in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? No Will no! Chandler Bing : Y'know, it's been a while since we've screamed something. Maybe we should. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay. Chandler Bing : Oh come on! Phoebe Buffay : Noooo!! Damn you ref! You burn in hell!!! Monica Geller : Hey, what are you doing? You gotta save room, you've got almost an entire turkey to eat. Joey Tribbiani : Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin' chips is like stretching. Monica Geller : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, Tribbianis never get full. Will Colbert : I actually know what you're talking about. I'm here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void. Joey Tribbiani : Who the hell is this guy? Monica Geller : Will! From high school. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey! Monica Geller : Joey. Will Colbert : Hello. Ross Geller : Will! Will Colbert : Ross! Ross Geller : Hey-hey you came! Man you look incredible! Hot stuff! Hot stuff? Will Colbert : It's good to see you man. Ross Geller : Yeah, you too. Man, so-so what are you up to? Will Colbert : I'm a commodities broker. Ross Geller : Really? Yeah that-that sounds interesting. Will Colbert : Yeah, it's not. But I'm rich and thin. Ross Geller : Oh! Man I don't think I've seen you since uh, Lance Davis' graduation party. Will Colbert : That was such a fun night! Ross Geller : Yeah. It would've been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun. Will Colbert : Yeah. Ross Geller : Yeah. Will Colbert : God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were? Ross Geller : Yeah. Will Colbert : So what do you, what do you do now? Ross Geller : So how long are you in town? Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey sweetie. Oh good. Will Colbert : Rachel Green. Ross Geller : Aw-oh, that's right. Are-are you gonna be okay? Will Colbert : Oh, I'll-I'll be fine. Just God I hate her Ross! I hate her! Ross Geller : Will, high school was-was a long time ago. Will Colbert : Look At Her Standing There With Those Yams! My Two Greatest Enemies Ross Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates. Rachel Green : Oh my God Monica, who is that? Monica Geller : That's Will from high school! Rachel Green : Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. Oh my God, he's... Look at the way he's just staring at me. I think he's trying to mouth something to me, but I can't make it out. Monica Geller : Okay, dinner's ready! Chandler Bing : Good game! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Solid effort. Solid effort. Monica Geller : Oh, so who won? Phoebe Buffay : Green Bay. Chandler Bing : Detroit. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Well the Lions technically won, but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay...Mermen. Rachel Green : Hi! Will, right? Will Colbert : Right. Rachel Green : Hi! I'm Rachel Green. Will Colbert : Oh I-I remember you. Rachel Green : Really?! Aren't you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis' graduation party? Will Colbert : You are unbelievable. Rachel Green : Thank you! Monica Geller : Uh Rachel? Rachel, why don't you sit here? And Will you sit way over there. Joey Tribbiani : That's it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge! Monica Geller : This is Chandler's chicken. This is the turkey. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. How-how big is that? Monica Geller : About nineteen pounds. Joey Tribbiani : It's like me when I was born. Rachel Green : All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will? Will Colbert : Oh, you'd like that wouldn't ya? Rachel Green : What? Oh y'know what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck! Will Colbert : Typical. Rachel Green : I'm sorry. What? Will Colbert : I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, who is this guy? Rachel Green : Umm, I'm sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me? Will Colbert : I don't know? Do I? Do I? Phoebe Buffay : I think you do. Monica Geller : Apparently you were umm, a little mean to him in high school. Will Colbert : A little mean? You made my life miserable! Rachel Green : I'm-I'm-I had no idea. I'm sorry. I... Will Colbert : Well you should be. Screw it! Bring on the yams! Monica Geller : Oh Will. But you-you've worked so hard... Will Colbert : Yams!!!! Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : Uh Will umm, I just want to say that I'm real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school... Will Colbert : Oh, it wasn't just me. We had a club! Rachel Green : You had a club?! Will Colbert : That's right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club! Rachel Green : Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club? Will Colbert : Me and Ross. Ross Geller : No need to point, she knows who Ross is. Rachel Green : So you were in an I Hate Rachel club? Will Colbert : Yes he was. Ross Geller : No. No. Rachel Green : So who else was in this club? Ross Geller : Uh actually, there-there was also that exchange student from Thailand but I-I don't think he-he knew what it was. Rachel Green : So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club. Will Colbert : You went out with her?! We had a pact! Ross Geller : That was in high school! It's not like it was binding forever. Will Colbert : Then why did it have the word eternity in it? Rachel Green : Okay Monica, did you know about this?! Monica Geller : I swear I didn't. Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door? Ross Geller : Yeah. Monica Geller : Hmm, a little relieved, I gotta say. Ross Geller : Look Rach I-I'm sorry, okay? I...I was a stupid kid, okay? The only reason I joined... Will Colbert : Co-founded! Ross Geller : ...co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didn't handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club. Will Colbert : Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club. Rachel Green : Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me? Will Colbert : Well, we did a little more than that. Ross Geller : No-no! No-no. No-no. Phoebe Buffay : What?! What else did you do? Will Colbert : We started a rumor. Rachel Green : What rumor? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us! Rachel Green : Ross! Ross Geller : It was no big deal. We-we...said that the rumor was...that umm...you had both...male and female reproductive parts. Rachel Green : What?! Will Colbert : That's right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Monica Geller : You started that?! Rachel Green : What?! You heard that?! Monica Geller : Everyone at our school heard it! Chandler Bing : Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?! Rachel Green : Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldn't go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! Ross Geller : Actually, Billy Tratt is gay now. So-so that one's not really our fault. Rachel Green : Monica, how come you never told me this?! Monica Geller : I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me. Rachel Green : Joey stop staring! There's nothing there! It's not true! Joey Tribbiani : I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof. Rachel Green : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : You are my Everest. Monica Geller : Joey, you don't have to finish that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yes I do. Otherwise what's next? Today I'm just a guy who can't finish a turkey, but tomorrow I'm the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just...I just-I gotta change my pants. Jeans have no give. Rachel Green : Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, you're such a good person." Not girl! Person! Ross Geller : Rach, I think you're reading a little too much into it. Rachel Green : "Dear Rach, you're a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." Ross Geller : Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasn't true?! Rachel Green : Yes! Will Colbert : Could you also tell them I'm skinny now? Monica Geller : Oh! Me too! Ross Geller : Well look-look I'm not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago! Rachel Green : I don't care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Y'know what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school. Monica Geller : That's not totally true. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian. Ross Geller : How did you know that?!!!! Monica Geller : It's true?!! Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog! Will Colbert : Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman? Ross Geller : Hey! She didn't look 50! Chandler Bing : Did she look 16? Rachel Green : Ohh, there's a picture of her in the yearbook actually. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Wow! Ross Geller : She didn't photograph well! Chandler Bing : Well, she probably wasn't familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings! Phoebe Buffay : So how did this happen? Did she, did she lure you to an early bird dinner? Ross Geller : I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace... Monica Geller : Didn't she walk with a cane? Ross Geller : Only when it was damp!! I can't believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Y'know what? I'm back in the club! Will Colbert : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : I wanna join! Rachel Green : Wh-Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I never got to be in a club. I-I didn't go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour. Rachel Green : All right, y'know-Fine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! Monica Geller : All right, listen you're just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll! Rachel Green : Wow... Monica Geller : And Ross, if it weren't for Rachel's rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map! Ross Geller : As a romancer of the elderly. Monica Geller : Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty. Ross Geller : The eyes...did still sparkle. Monica Geller : Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-you've been through so much since then. And right now you've got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Can't you just let this go? Rachel Green : She's right. Ross Geller : Yeah. I mean we are having a baby together. Will Colbert : Hold on! You got her pregnant? Ross Geller : Yeah. Will Colbert : Are ya getting married? Ross Geller : Nope. Will Colbert : So you knocked her up but you're not gonna marry her. Dude! Anybody? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. It's exactly how I'd imagined it would be. Joey Tribbiani : All right where's that turkey! Phoebe Buffay : Joey! Those are my maternity pants! Joey Tribbiani : Not now! These are my Thanksgiving pants! Joey Tribbiani : Well that's it. I'm done. Whew! There come the meat sweats. Monica Geller : Well Joey, we're all...we're all very proud of you. Chandler Bing : Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now. Phoebe Buffay : Is there anything we can do for you? Joey Tribbiani : No just, nobody press on my stomach. Rachel Green : You can keep those pants by the way. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-hey-wh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? Pie? Monica Geller : Yeah, you want some? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, just cut me a little sliver. A little bigger. Little bigger. What?! Are you afraid you're gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece! Monica Geller : Hey! So what do you think? Chandler Bing : New haircut? Necklace? Dress? Boots? Boots! Monica Geller : Yes! Now, they're a little more than I normally spend on boots...or rent Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Monica Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : I'm gonna miss being able to afford food. Monica Geller : I'm sorry, they just, they just look so good! And the saleswoman was looking at me like, "Oh, these are way too expensive for you." Chandler Bing : She had a point. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Oh Monica! Those boots are amazing! Monica Geller : They're mine! Chandler Bing : Yeah well, too bad we're gonna have to return them. Rachel Green : Return them?! Shh! They're gonna hear you! Monica Geller : Honey, I'm not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a lot, but I'm going to wear them all the time. You'll see. Besides, I love the compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it? Chandler Bing : I have you. Monica Geller : Nice try; I'm keeping the boots. Ross Geller : That's right, I love you! And-and I'm gonna play with you all the time. Phoebe Buffay : How can you let him talk to your crotch like that? Rachel Green : He's talking to the baby. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I can't wait to hear your first words," I thought, "There's a trick." Rachel Green : Okay. Well, I gotta go you guys. I'll see you later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ross Geller : Bye. Rachel Green : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey Rach, listen-Hi! Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin' to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren... Rachel Green : No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, she's really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, y'know, to give her some advice. Rachel Green : I guess I can talk to one of my supervisors... Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you! Rachel Green : Really?! Oh my God! I'm successful! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so will you meet with her? Rachel Green : Yes! I'd love to! Have her come by the office. Joey Tribbiani : Great! Thanks! You're gonna love her so much. And-Oh, she's the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, y'know the S.A.T's? Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : She took 'em! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Ross! Doesn't Ben go to the Smithfield Day School? Ross Geller : Yeah. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Sting has a son that goes there too! Ross Geller : Yeah I know; he's in Ben's class. Phoebe Buffay : You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?! Ross Geller : Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? Phoebe Buffay : Sting's son, seven years old and there's a picture. Ross Geller : What are you reading? The Kidnappers Guide to Manhattan Private Schools? Phoebe Buffay : No, it's New York magazine. It's an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting? Ross Geller : Uh, I actually haven't even met him. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah that's too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but it's totally sold out. I know! Why don't you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two I'll take you. Ross Geller : Well actually, I'm picking Ben up tomorrow, maybe he'll be there. Phoebe Buffay : There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting tomorrow! That's why you have kids! Monica Geller : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey-hey. Rachel Green : Hi Monica! Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi boots. Monica Geller : See Chandler? I'm getting a lot of use out of them already! They're very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants... Chandler Bing : You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! They're beautiful! Rachel Green : Ahh... Monica Geller : They hurt so much! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Monica Geller : The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die! Rachel Green : Well-well you can give them to me! I haven't felt my feet in years! Monica Geller : I can't! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that I'd wear them all the time, I just can't give them away! Phoebe Buffay : Well then get your money back and return them! Monica Geller : I can't do that either! The soles' are already a little scuffed up and the insides are filled with my blood. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey I uh just picked up Ben from school... Chandler Bing : I don't think you did a very thorough job! Ross Geller : I dropped him off at Carol's. Anyway, it turns out that I'm not going to be able to get those tickets though. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! Why not? Ross Geller : Well it turns out that Ben and Sting's son do not get along. Phoebe Buffay : How come?! Ross Geller : Apparently, Sting's son made fun of the fact that Ben's moms are lesbinims. Phoebe Buffay : Wait! But Ross if they don't get along then you should smooth things over. Make them be friends. Ross Geller : Phoebe, you can't force kids to be friends. Phoebe Buffay : Sure you can! Give them some blocks, put them in a playpen! Ross Geller : Playpen?! Ben's seven! Phoebe Buffay : Your kid is seven?! He's really small. Please! Please get the tickets! Ross Geller : Look I'm sorry Pheebs, I can't do it. Phoebe Buffay : Yes you can! Sting says so himself! Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Rosssss can! Ross Geller : Look Phoebe, I'm sorry it's just... Phoebe Buffay : Rossss can! Ross Geller : Phoebe, I... Phoebe Buffay : Rosss can! Give me the tickets! Ross can give me the tickets!! Joey Tribbiani : Here she is! Future fashion superstar! Rachel Green : Oh Joey, I'm hardly a... Joey Tribbiani : My little sister Dina! Rachel Green : Right! Hi Dina! Dina : Hi. Rachel Green : Nice to meet you. Dina : Thanks so much for meetin' with me. Joey's told me so much about you! Joey Tribbiani : This is so exciting for her. Well, I'll let you two fash...ists get down to business. Rachel Green : Okay. All right Dina, well let's talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Let's see, there's design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, there's-there's sales, which is great because you get to travel... Dina : I...I don't care about fashion! I'm pregnant! And I know you are too, so you gotta help me! Rachel Green : And there's marketing... Monica Geller : Ahhhhhhhh! Chandler Bing : What's wrong? Monica Geller : Oh nothing I'm just-just was yawning. Chandler Bing : Oh don't forget, my office holiday party is tonight. Monica Geller : Honey, we don't really have to go to this thing tonight do we? Chandler Bing : Now sweetie, I know you don't like my office parties, but you can wear your new boots. See? Every cloud has a...supple leather lining. Monica Geller : I-I don't-I don't think that I'm gonna wear the boots tonight. Chandler Bing : Why not? Monica Geller : Well y'know, I'm just-I'm just worried that bosses will see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them and-and want a raise! Chandler Bing : Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company? Monica Geller : Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots don't really go with it. Chandler Bing : You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants! Monica Geller : Fine! If you want me to wear the boots, I'll wear the boots. In fact, I'll go into my room right now and y'know try the outfit on. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay? Ooo wee! Christmas party in my boots! Dina : I-I can't go in there. I can't tell him! Rachel Green : Honey, it's going to be okay. He's been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; that's what the meatball sub is for. Dina : Thank you. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! It's my fashion girls! What's wrong? Rachel Green : Honey, why don't you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. What's, what's going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dad's heart? Is that a sandwich? Dina : Joe, mom and dad are fine... Joey Tribbiani : Is that a sandwich?! Rachel Green : Joey...there's something that you...should know. Dina? Dina : I'm pregnant. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Rachel Green : Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! Joey Tribbiani : Well obviously this is a mistake! You can't be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant! Dina : Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25 like you did! Rachel Green : What?! Dina... Joey Tribbiani : Bub!!! I can't believe this! You're the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?! Dina : Bobby Corso, but he's a real nice guy. I like him a lot. He's real funny. Joey Tribbiani : You got pregnant for funny?! Dina...if he's funny...laugh! All right, I'll be back in a little while! You stay here! Dina : Why? Where are you going? Joey Tribbiani : I can't look at you right now! Dina : Wow. Rachel Green : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, there you are Ben! Ben Geller : Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I heard you're having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boy's name is Sting's son. Ben Geller : Jack? I hate him! He's a jerk. Phoebe Buffay : Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers. Ben Geller : I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. Phoebe Buffay : Him you're friends with. The Teacher : Excuse me. Can, can I help you with something? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Yes you can, I'm looking for Jack's parents. The Teacher : Are you with one of the students? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, I'm with Ben. The Teacher : Are you one of Ben's mothers? Phoebe Buffay : I am one of Ben's mothers. I'm a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents. The Teacher : Well hi, I'm Jenny Boone. I'm the new teacher here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. The Teacher : I've only met your partner Carol. Phoebe Buffay : Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan. The Teacher : Right. Are you looking for Jack's parents to discuss the problems he's having with Ben? Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Let's do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them? The Teacher : Oh, their number is on the contact sheet. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? 'Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. She's such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass. Chandler Bing : Y'know, that party wasn't bad. Monica Geller : Yeah! I didn't know there would be dancing. That was a fun surprise! Chandler Bing : I don't see any uh, cabs. Maybe we should just walk? Monica Geller : Oh no, we can't walk! Chandler Bing : What honey, it's like fifteen blocks to the subway. Let's go. Monica Geller : Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb down through the manhole cover? Chandler Bing : What's going on? Monica Geller : I can't walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake! Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! They're killing me! One toe at a time! Chandler Bing : So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. It's oddly unsettling. Monica Geller : How are we gonna get home? Maybe a piggy-back ride? Chandler Bing : Hop on. Monica Geller : Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. Ah...Ooh...Oohh...Ohh...Oh God...Ohh...Oh...Ohh...Ohhhh... Chandler Bing : Honey, I know you're in pain right now, but I'm a little turned on. Dina : Do you ever worry that you'll be walking and your baby will just like slip out? Rachel Green : What college was that Dina? Dina : Oh my God! Bobby! Bobby Corso : Hi Dina. Good to see you. Rachel Green : Joey, what are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman... Rachel Green : Oh Joey this is crazy! Joey Tribbiani : Don't interrupt me when I'm talkin' to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man... Dina : No! Joey Tribbiani : Oh you'll take 'em! Dina : No I won't! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You don't get a say in this! Dina : Yes I do! Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh! I heard "I do", we're halfway there! Okay! You! Rachel Green : All right Joey! That is enough! Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, it's not legal. Okay? They-they don't have a marriage license, they don't have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe! Bobby Corso : Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it. Joey Tribbiani : Well what am I supposed to do? Rachel Green : You're supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions. Joey Tribbiani : No they can't! They were stupid enough to get knocked up! Rachel Green : Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! Right? Bobby Corso : Yeah...we kinda didn't use any... Rachel Green : Oh, come on kids! A little help here! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! This place is incredible! Sting's pen...that he gave to Phoebe. Come on! Secret passageway! Trudie Styler : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Trudie Styler : I'm Trudie. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Trudie Styler : You must be Ben's mum. Phoebe Buffay : Why else would I be here? Trudie Styler : Do sit down. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Trudie Styler : I gather Jack and Ben haven't been getting along lately. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Trudie Styler : I'm told there are two sides to this story, but all I've heard is that Ben's a bit of a poo-poo head. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I'm sorry. Won't-won't Jack's father be joining us? Trudie Styler : Oh I'm sorry, Jack's father is not available. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Okay. Well then, could we reschedule? For say, Friday night perhaps at 8 o'clock? Trudie Styler : Oh no, I know that wouldn't work. My husband's in concert. Phoebe Buffay : Concert. Yeah. That does put us in...quite a pickle. Because you see I'm very busy before and after the concert, and he's obviously busy during. Trudie Styler : So, I guess you and I should talk about Jack and Ben right now. Phoebe Buffay : Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course. Trudie Styler : Are you here for tickets? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you. Four would be great. Trudie Styler : I'm not giving concert tickets to someone who'd use their son like this! Phoebe Buffay : Oh good! Then you're in luck! Ben's not my son! Trudie Styler : Look, I've just pressed a button, triggering a silent alarm. Any minute now, the police will be here! Phoebe Buffay : The Police? Here? A reunion?! Chandler Bing : Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go. Monica Geller : Oh wait! Stop! Stop! Stop! Chandler Bing : Oh I'm sorry! Do you need a break? Monica Geller : My boots in tan! Hey! Can you get a little closer so I can see the price? Chandler Bing : I can see it from right here. It'll cost you one husband. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm sorry. I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just-just give me my boots. Chandler Bing : I don't have your boots. Monica Geller : Well I don't have them either. Where are they? Chandler Bing : Well, why don't you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay! Monica Geller : Okay. God well, we gotta go back and get them! Chandler Bing : Honey, are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again? Monica Geller : Okay, I'm never gonna wear them again. I just didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones. Monica Geller : Okay. All right. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Bye boots-Wait! Half off?! Rachel Green : Joey, just because they're not getting married doesn't mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan! Joey Tribbiani : Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Let's hear their plan! Now, what's the future look like for Dina and Bobby? Bobby Corso : Well...I really have high hopes for my band. Joey Tribbiani : You were right. He is funny. Rachel Green : Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why don't you tell us a little bit about your band? Bobby Corso : Well it's just me and my pal Rooster, the band's name is Numb Nuts. Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Dina, if you're having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! Dude, that's not a compliment! Dina : No Joey! I knew you wouldn't be supportive! Joey Tribbiani : So whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you gonna do? You're gonna have the baby and-and raise it by yourself...without a husband?! You can't be a single mother alone! You're gonna ruin your life! Rachel Green : Oh excuse me! Am I ruining my life? Joey Tribbiani : No! No! No! It's different for you. You're so strong and together. You're not some dumb kid who doesn't know what she's doing. Dina : Excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay. Rachel Green : So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe! Well! Well...so-so uh, what kind of music does Numb Nuts-Oh forget it! I can't! Dina : Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, I'm just gonna need some help. And Bobby's gonna be here the whole time. Bobby Corso : You bet I am! And to answer your earlier question, we're straight-up gangster rap. Dina : Look, Rachel's told me how much easier you've made all this on her. Why can't you do that for me? Joey Tribbiani : Because! 'Cause... 'Cause you're my baby sister! Dina : And you're my big brother! I mean, you're my favorite guy in the whole world. I'm not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you. Joey Tribbiani : Well I'd be scared of them, but all right. Dina : Joey, I can't stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Of course he's gonna have his Uncle Joey! Dina : We're gonna be all right. I mean, even if we're not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us. Joey Tribbiani : That's right! By his uncle too! Bobby Corso : And by you. Rachel Green : Okay Bobby, why don't we just come over here and let them have a little moment. Joey Tribbiani : Come here! Rachel Green : No! Seriously! What's wrong with you?! Ross Geller : You're gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?! Ross Geller : Well...let's just say... Rosss caaaaan! Phoebe Buffay : Oo, where are the seats? Ross Geller : Uh, middle balcony. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now would you say that that's more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family? Ross Geller : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Then that's not breaking the law! I'm there! Rachel Green :  Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Rachel Green : Look at that guy by the window, wow! Phoebe Buffay : He's awfully short and I think he's talking to himself. And to be completely honest, he's not that good in bed. Rachel Green : Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean it's like every guy I see-I mean look here. Look at that guy for example, I mean normally that's not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way I'm feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start going crazy. Rachel Green : Really?! So this has happened to you? Phoebe Buffay : Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind, now, I was carrying triplets so in, y'know, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy. Rachel Green : Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santa's lap. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker. Rachel Green : Ah. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : Well, y'know what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, I'll ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Yeah, that's what you need a good...pill. Mona : Hey! Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Mona : Hi! Look! I got our pictures developed from Rockefeller Center. Ross Geller : Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. Ross Geller : Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together? Mona : Oh yeah, probably at the end. Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts! Joey Tribbiani : I'm missin' picture time?! Phoebe Buffay : Y'know she has a face Ross! Mona : Okay. Okay, here's a good one of us. Ross Geller : Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card y'know, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow. Mona : Y'know, every year I say I'm gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together? Ross Geller : Together? Like-like to people? Mona : Yeah, y'know. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. It'll be cute, okay? Ross Geller : Okay. Mona : Oh, I gotta get to work. So call me later? Ross Geller : Uh sure, sure. Mona : Bye guys. Phoebe Buffay : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Congratulations! You just got married! Ross Geller : I know. Can you believe that? Phoebe Buffay : Wait, I'm-I'm sorry. What's the big deal about a holiday card? Ross Geller : Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey, hey that's your wife you're talking about! Doug : Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette! Chandler Bing : Honey, you remember my boss Doug right? Monica Geller : Yes, hi. Doug : Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M. Chandler Bing : I didn't know you and Carol were getting divorced, I'm sorry. Doug : Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though! Monica Geller : No leg-chewing for us sir. Doug : Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, we've got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night? Monica Geller : I can't think of anything we're doing. Why can't I think of anything we're doing? Doug : Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park! Monica Geller : Okay, I'll see you tomorrow! Just so you know, we're not seeing him tomorrow. I-I cannot spend another evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding? Chandler Bing : No. Monica Geller : That's because he wasn't invited because of the way he behaved at our engagement party. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesn't it? Mona : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! Mona : Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card. What do you think? Ross Geller : Huh. Wow, this is great. Mona : Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?" Ross Geller : Well, we-we haven't said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people. Mona : How many did you want? I'm getting a hundred. Ross Geller : A hundred?! Well, I-I guess I'll take a-Mona, uh...I-I'm not sure about the whole uh, card thing. Mona : Really? Why not? Ross Geller : Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just don't know if we're really quite there yet. Mona : Oh y'know, I didn't think of it that way. You're right. You're right. So, can I ask you a question? Ross Geller : Yeah. Mona : Where are we? Ross Geller : Huh. Mona : Y'know, like where are we? Where is this relationship going? Ross Geller : Hmm... Mona : I mean I love spending time with you, y'know I just-I hope we're moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Don't you think? Ross Geller : Let's do the card! Mona : What? Ross Geller : The card! I think we're there! Mona : Okay. I-But I think we should still have this conversation. Ross Geller : Really?! I mean, even with the card? Nurse : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Nurse : Just so you know, Dr. Long can't be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you. Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Y'know who I'm talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers... Dr. Schiff : Hi Rachel? I'm Dr. Schiff. Rachel Green : Yes, you are. Dr. Schiff : So, how's it going? Rachel Green : Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do? Dr. Schiff : I'm a doctor. Rachel Green : Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend? Dr. Schiff : Uh, I don't have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski. Rachel Green : Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?! Dr. Schiff : So, are you experiencing any discomfort? Rachel Green : No. I'm very comfortable. Dr. Schiff : Any painful gas? Rachel Green : No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?! Dr. Schiff : Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table? Rachel Green : Well would you like me to lie down on the table? Dr. Schiff : I'm sorry, is there something going on here? Rachel Green : Do you feel it too? Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! So, how did your doctor's appointment go? Rachel Green : Well, let's see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Why did you do that? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy? Monica Geller : Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me. Phoebe Buffay : You wish. Monica Geller : Hey, I could've had you if I wanted you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah? Come and get it. Rachel Green : Okay, even this is turning me on! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how's it, how's it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, yeah we're moving forward. You'll be getting our card! Monica Geller : You and Mona are doing a holiday card together? Ross Geller : Yeah, we're not just doing a card! Y'know, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going. Phoebe Buffay : Ugh! Women! Ross Geller : I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?" Rachel Green : Uh Ross? You asked me that. Ross Geller : Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? I'm not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. I'm horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Y'know, something that says we're moving forward without having to talk about it. Monica Geller : Like asking her to move in with you? Ross Geller : Smaller than that. Monica Geller : Making her a mixed tape? Ross Geller : Uh, bigger than that. Phoebe Buffay : Give her a key to your apartment. Ross Geller : Whoa-hello! We were closer with the mixed tape. Monica Geller : All right. Have you said, "I love you?" You could say, I love you. Ross Geller : Yeah I-I don't-I don't think I'm quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you. Phoebe Buffay : No, we hate that. Monica Geller : That is a slap in the face. Ross Geller : Forget it. I-I-Y'know what? I'll just have the conversation. I'll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach? Rachel Green : I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater. Doug : Bing! We're all set for tonight, 8 o'clock. Chandler Bing : Oh uh, as it turns out, we can't do it. Monica has to work. Doug : Oh, my ex-wife didn't work, unless you call turning into her mother work. Fine. Tomorrow night then. Chandler Bing : Oh uh well tomorrow's no good for her either. Doug : Oh? Why not? Chandler Bing : It's the semi-finals...of her...botchy ball tournament. Doug : What's going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something? Chandler Bing : Well now-now you're just talking crazy. Doug : So why can't the three of us go out together? Chandler Bing : Because uh...we-we...we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me. Doug : Good God Bing I...well I can't say I'm altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust. Chandler Bing : Y'know what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya? Doug : Bing my boy, we're gonna get you over this. Now here's the plan, grab your coat, we're going to a strip club. Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. But to hell with that bitch. Ross Geller : Here we go. Mona umm, I think it's time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us. Mona : Yeah, I-I think I suggested that. Ross Geller : Aw, we-we are so... So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, y'know hanging out with you. And I mean-I'm having a lot of fun. Mona : Okay. Ross Geller : I mean, there's no point in spending time with someone if-if it's just fun. It's gotta be, it's gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? Ah! That's-that's the real question. And-and the answer is...is it's going somewhere...fun. Now I-I know what you're thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago y'know, but you're-you're not getting any younger. No I mean-No not you, not you, you-you are getting younger. I mean-you-you look like you're getting younger by the second-What's your secret? Mona : I'm sorry, so umm, so where are we? Ross Geller : Well, well to sum up, we're having fun, you look young. Mona : Okay... Ross Geller : But that's not enough. So... So...here's a key to my apartment. Mona : Really?! Ross Geller : Really. Mona : You don't think this is too fast. Rachel Green : You gave her a key to your apartment?! Ross Geller : Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Ooh Ross! How'd the conversation go? Ross Geller : Oh great, I live on the street. Phoebe Buffay : Where?! Rachel Green : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger. Roger : Hey everybody. Monica Geller : Hi Roger. Phoebe Buffay : So umm, I'm gonna get us some drinks. Would you help me out? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, he's here to have sex with you. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome. Rachel Green : Phoebe no! Phoebe Buffay : It's okay, he's a virgin. Monica Geller : Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think he'll have sex with you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, okay let's leave these two alone. Rachel Green : No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! Doug : Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh? Chandler Bing : Oh that's all right sir, and that's just one girl. Doug : Bing-What's this?! Chandler Bing : It's a hand. It's a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder. Doug : No, it's a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. We're gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there! Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no! Doug : Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, y'know I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head. Ross Geller : Okay, and oh I'm gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give them away for no reason at all. Mona : Hey Ross, what's going on? You changing the lock? Ross Geller : No. That guy is. Mona : I don't understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock. Locksmith : Good luck buddy. Mona : Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now you're-you're sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me? Ross Geller : I'm trying to tell you I made you a mix tape. Mona : What? Ross Geller : I love you! Mona : Ohh! And I love spending time with you. Chandler Bing : Hi honey I'm home. Monica Geller : From the tequila factory? Chandler Bing : It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldn't give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird! Monica Geller : Come here. I can breath through my mouth. Chandler Bing : Y'know what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like It's a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives. Monica Geller : I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year? Chandler Bing : Ooh, I don't know if we're there yet. Rachel Green : Yes. Hi, I'd like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very Ambercrombie & Fitch. I'll call you back. Joey Tribbiani : Who was that? Rachel Green : It's just the pizza place. Joey Tribbiani : You hung up on the pizza place? I don't hang up on your friends. Rachel Green : I'm sorry honey, I'm just having a, having a rough day. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, what's wrong? Rachel Green : Oh you really, you really just don't want to hear about it. Joey Tribbiani : Then why did I ask? Rachel Green : Okay, it's just-and this is really embarrassing-but lately with this whole pregnancy thing I'm just finding myself...how do I put this umm, erotically charged. Joey Tribbiani : Is that college talk for horny? Rachel Green : Yeah. So y'know, I have all of these feelings and I don't know what to do about them, because I can't date like a normal person, which is fine because I don't need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, y'know? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what he's doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so...hard...to find. So how was your day? Joey Tribbiani : Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon. Rachel Green : Well, I gotta get up early and it's almost seven o'clock. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too. Rachel Green : Okay, good night! Joey Tribbiani : Good night. Joey Tribbiani : I can't do it! Rachel Green : I didn't ask you to do it! Joey Tribbiani : You're Rachel! Rachel Green : You're Joey! Joey Tribbiani : You're my friend! Rachel Green : Right back at ya! Joey Tribbiani : But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad. Rachel Green : And so bad. I don't even know what you're talking about because I didn't ask you to do anything! Joey Tribbiani : I know! Joey Tribbiani : Do you wanna do it? Rachel Green : No! Joey Tribbiani : All right, me neither! I was just testing you! Rachel Green : That's the end of this conversation! Joey Tribbiani : This conversation never happened! Rachel Green : Never happened! Good night! Joey Tribbiani : Good night! Joey Tribbiani : Get back in there! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Listen, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasn't right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think you'll really enjoy. Now, this is just a loan. Okay? I'm gonna, I'm gonna want him back. So... I'm gonna go now. I'm sorry, I thought I could do it and I can't! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! I got you a present!! Chandler Bing : Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it? Phoebe Buffay : I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here! Chandler Bing : Pheebs you didn't have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang... Monica Geller : I love it! It's huge!! Let's open it! Open it!! Phoebe Buffay : It's a Ms. Pac-Man machine!! Monica Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : I didn't know where to put it so I just left it here for now. Monica Geller : Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay. Monica Geller : All right. Chandler Bing : I kinda like it here. Phoebe Buffay : Do you really like it? Monica Geller : Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is like-Oh my, this is like my second favorite game! Phoebe Buffay : Oh really? What was your first? Monica Geller : Well I-I really don't remember the name of it. Chandler Bing : Well what did it do? Monica Geller : Well, you just-you put a quarter in and y'know pull-pull some handles and win like a candy bar or something. Chandler Bing : A vending machine? Monica Geller : Don't feel bad for me! I won like every time! Ross Geller : Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you guys are here. I've been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today. Joey Tribbiani : Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out? Ross Geller : Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so.... Rachel Green : They made you head of the department! Ross Geller : No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! Why didn't I get head of the department? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Hey Rach, listen umm... Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : I got a big date coming up, do you know a good restaurant? Rachel Green : Uh, Paul's Caf. They got great food and it's really romantic. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, great! Thanks! Rachel Green : Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancing-Oh! Take her dancing! Joey Tribbiani : You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, I'll tell ya... Rachel Green : Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin' all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. I'm not gonna be able to do that for so long, and it's so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, y'know what? Rachel Green : Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Why don't I take you out? Rachel Green : What?! Joey, you don't want to go on a date with a pregnant lady. Joey Tribbiani : Yes I do! And we're gonna go out, we're gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out... Rachel Green : Okay! I'll go with ya! I'll go! I'll go with ya. Joey Tribbiani : I'll be fun. Rachel Green : All right? Phoebe Buffay : No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm next. Don't! Don't start another game! I said I'm next! Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you over all the winning. Monica Geller : Chandler! Phoebe's hogging the game! Chandler Bing : Who cares? It's a stupid game. Monica Geller : You only think it's stupid because you suck at it. Chandler Bing : I don't suck. It's sucks. You suck. Phoebe Buffay : Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause problems between the two of you, then maybe I should just keep it. Monica Geller : No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why don't you go home and wait for the thank you card? Chandler Bing : Why do you want to play this game so bad? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! It's not like it spits out a Clark bar after every game. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe that's it. Come on, get out-out of the chair. Get out! Oh come...Phoebe! Rachel Green : Joey? Could you get that? What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room? Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm picking you up for our date. These are for you. Rachel Green : Ohh, Lilies. Joey, they're my favorite. Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : And, a brownie! Well, half a brownie. Actually, it's just bag. It's been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin' to feel faint so... Rachel Green : Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like I'm going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and I'm wearing underwear that goes up to about......there. Joey Tribbiani : Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so...nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman. Rachel Green : Yeah, actually that's my roommate's. Joey Tribbiani : I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy. Rachel Green : Ah yes, but he's very protective of me so you'd better watch yourself. Joey Tribbiani : Ah... Hey, so this roommate of yours...is he good looking? Rachel Green : Hm-mmm. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh? Rachel Green : Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's gay. Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no, he's not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on! Ross Geller : ...which brings us back, of course, to Greely's theory of dominance. Okay, that-that's all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is? Student : Yeah, it's the new building on Avenue A. Ross Geller : What?! That-that's all the way cross town, I'm supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes. Student : Ooh, dude. That's not gonna happen. Ross Geller : Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! I'm the teacher!! Ross Geller : Hello. I'm sorry I'm a little late. Ah--Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. So to sum up, I'm Professor Geller. Good job today. Rachel Green : Now the filet mignon, what comes with that? Waitress : There's a side of steamed vegetables. Rachel Green : Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what? Bring her both, and I'll have the same. Rachel Green : Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good date-Oh, I almost forgot. I didn't pay you the rent check. Joey Tribbiani : Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? We're on a date. Rachel Green : Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves? Joey Tribbiani : No! No. Umm, just myself and if they don't like me for- I'm sorry I couldn't even get through that. Rachel Green : I knew it! I knew it. Come on tell me your moves. Joey Tribbiani : Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan. Rachel Green : Oh my God. And that works?! Joey Tribbiani : Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!" Rachel Green : Oh, you poor little famous man. Joey Tribbiani : Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but you're so beautiful...I don't think I can. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, so...so tell me one of your moves. Rachel Green : Alright. So where'd you grow up? Joey Tribbiani : That's your move? Boy Rach, you're lucky you're hot. Rachel Green : Come on, just answer the question! Joey Tribbiani : Queens. Rachel Green : And so were-were you close to your parents? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad. Rachel Green : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. I guess there's just always been this distance y'know-I mean we both try to pretend it's not there, but it is. Rachel Green : Oh. It's gotta be rough. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, it is. It's really tough. Y'know sometimes I think-Wow!! Nice move! Rachel Green : Huh? Joey Tribbiani : "Where'd you grow up," it's so simple! Rachel Green : Thank you! And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : And now you're watching me walk away. Joey Tribbiani : Yes I am! Again so simple! Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : You are not going to believe what I did today! Monica Geller : Well it clearly wasn't showering or shaving. Chandler Bing : I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. Although I-I hope they don't. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?! Chandler Bing : Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! Monica Geller : What is the matter with your hand? Chandler Bing : Well I've been playing it for like eight hours, it'll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, they're dirty words. Monica Geller : Chandler, why would you do that? Chandler Bing : Because it's awesome. Monica Geller : You think this is clever? Chandler Bing : Well y'know, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge. Monica Geller : Hey wait a minute, this one isn't dirty. Chandler Bing : It is when you put it together with that one. Monica Geller : Ah, well if you don't clear this off, you won't be getting one of those from me. But Ben's coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this can't be there. Chandler Bing : Come on, he won't even know what they mean. Monica Geller : Chandler! He's seven; he's not stupid. Chandler Bing : Have you talked to him lately? Monica Geller : All right, look I'm just gonna unplug it. Chandler Bing : No-no-no, if you unplug it, I'll have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. No! Hey look at that! Look at that, it's still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM Chip in it or something! Monica Geller : Honey you-you got to beat your scores! Chandler Bing : With the claw?! Monica Geller : All right fine. Fine, I'll do it. I've just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger. Chandler Bing : Pull my finger--My hand is messed up. Rachel Green : I am not gonna answer that! Joey Tribbiani : Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch? Rachel Green : No one! They are my friends, I wouldn't punch any of them. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Rachel Green : Yeah, but I don't know why. Look at me, I'm having such a wonderful time! Joey Tribbiani : Me too! Hey Rach, can I just say I think this is the best date I ever had! Rachel Green : I know! Joey Tribbiani : I never laughed so hard-Did you see the wine come out of my nose? Rachel Green : Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta say, I never knew I could enjoy the non-sex part of the date so much. Rachel Green : Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Huh. Rachel Green : All right, now don't judge me. I normally wait until my date leaves, but you live here. I'm ripping into this swan. Joey Tribbiani : Ah! Okay, well then you don't judge me. I'm gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. Rachel Green : So tell me, what are Joey Tribbiani's end of the night moves? Joey Tribbiani : Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible. Rachel Green : How do you do that? Joey Tribbiani : Now you can't tell anyone, but uh...I put on shiny lip balm. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, like a moth to a flame, I'm telling ya. Okay all right, so now you go. Rachel Green : No, I don't want to tell you. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Rachel Green : Because it's embarrassing. Joey Tribbiani : More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?! I didn't say raspberry before did I? All right just-just tell me Rach, just tell me! Rachel Green : Okay. All right, stand up. Well, when we're at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesn't sound like anything, but I swear it works. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Why-Yeah, that would work for ya... Rachel Green : All right, I gotta go to bed. Honey, I had such a wonderful time. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Yeah. Me to. Rachel Green : ...you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?! Ross Geller : No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!" Rachel Green : Well, why didn't you just take a cab? Ross Geller : Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets it'll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller? Rachel Green : Well you're not gonna be able to keep doing this. Ross Geller : Well I have to. Okay? If I don't, they'll take the class away from me. And...I already put it in my family newsletter. Rachel Green : You what? Ross Geller : You've seen it, the Geller Yeller. Rachel Green : Right. Wow! Ross Geller : Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, I'm sure I can make it this time. I just...I just can't be afraid to get a little bit...hit by cars. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, I still can't believe you haven't seen Cujo. What is wrong with you? Rachel Green : Relax! It's not like it's Citizen Kane! Joey Tribbiani : Have you ever tried to sit through Citizen Kane? Rachel Green : Yeah I know it's really boring, but it's like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah? All right, let's do it tonight. Rachel Green : Well don't you have that big date tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Oh right! Rachel Green : Hey Joey, can I ask you something? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : After our date last night, did you feel a little weird? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! You did too? It totally freaked me out, what was that?! Rachel Green : I don't know! I'm-I'm kinda thinking it-it was the lobster... Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah-yeah, the lobster. Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean I was up sick all night. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah me too, all night. Rachel Green : Really?! How come we didn't cross paths? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah well that's because uh...I stayed in my room. Yeah, you don't want to look in my hamper. Monica Geller : Okay, I got that. I'll escape over there. I'll come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. It's got-Right- Well, you're just a little bitch, aren't you? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you guys. Listen, I'm sorry that I was hogging the game before--Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials! Monica Geller : They're all Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler sucks! He couldn't have gotten this good! Chandler Bing : I did. But it came at a price. Monica Geller : But Ben is coming over tonight and he can't see this. Chandler Bing : Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. Was it just me?! Ross Geller : Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! I'm on time! Okay, why don't we all uh, open our books to page 23. Where... Where you will see...a uh...a bunch of uh...red spots. Okay, umm, why don't, why don't you all start to read, while I- Joey's Date : Hey. Are you all right? You seem a little distracted. Joey Tribbiani : No-no! I'm fine. It's just... Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that you've known for a while and then suddenly...suddenly see them a different way? Joey's Date : You mean like from behind? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yeah, that...that's exactly it. You're right. Yeah. Joey's Date : Ew, y'know what? One time I saw this guy from behind and he seemed like a totally normal guy and then he turned around and it was Stephan Baldwin! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Yeah. So yeah, so you know exactly what I'm talking about. Joey's Date : Totally! Wow! Would you excuse me for a sec? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sure. Ehhh. Monica Geller : Oh my God Phoebe, you're on fire! Phoebe Buffay : I know! Chandler Bing : One more score to go! You can do it! Phoebe Buffay : Don't touch me!! Monica Geller : Don't touch her!! Chandler Bing : All right! Go left! Go left! Go right!! Go right!! Phoebe Buffay : I can't!! I can't!! Noooooooo!!!!!!! You son of a bitch!!!!! Ross Geller : Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hi Ben-No!! Don't look at the machine! Rachel Green : Oh God! Thank God you're home! I'm watching Cujo. Joey Tribbiani : Alone?! Rachel Green : Yes! But what is wrong with this dog?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, did you get to the part where they're trapped in the car and Cujo's throwin' himself at the windshield? Rachel Green : No! No! Seriously, what's wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, it didn't work out. Rachel Green : Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, okay. Yeah. Rachel Green : Y'know, I never thought I'd say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh sure, yeah, why not? Rachel Green : Okay. Okay, that's him! That's him! That's Cujo! That's Cujo! Joey Tribbiani : All right, I know! I know. Yeah, it'll be okay. Rachel Green : Oh my God....What's he gonna do now? I can't watch! Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Aren't you scared? Joey Tribbiani : Terrified. Ross Geller : So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. Here. Here. Now as for the hydrosaurs... Joey Tribbiani : All right. It's a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you don't feel that now. It was crazy! You're fine. You're better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everything's normal! She's just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi, sweetie. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's your girlfriend, Rachel! Monica Geller : Hi. Chandler Bing : Are you, are you high? Monica Geller : I just had the most amazing bath. Chandler Bing : Really? I don't like baths. Monica Geller : Wait, you like them with me. Chandler Bing : Honey, it's not the bath I enjoy, it's the wet, naked lady. Monica Geller : Oh, baths are so relaxing! Chandler Bing : Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth. Monica Geller : How dirty do you think I am? I'm telling you, if you had some candles and some bubbles and some music, you would love it! It would take all of your stress away. Chandler Bing : Honey, it's 2:00 on a Wednesday and I'm watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you. Chandler Bing : Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk? Joey Tribbiani : Well, neither. Chandler Bing : Oh my God, what's up?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. It's-it's just...lately, I've been feeling... Okay, here's what it is... You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! Chandler Bing : Oh no-no, no you don't, just come back. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but that's different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean? Chandler Bing : Do you? Joey Tribbiani : It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right? Chandler Bing : In London? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London. Joey Tribbiani : You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me. Chandler Bing : If that. Rachel Green : Hi! Oh, Ross, don't forget, we have that doctor's appointment tomorrow! Ross Geller : Right. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby? Ross Geller : No-no, we talked about it. We don't want to know. All we care about is that it's happy and healthy. Rachel Green : Yep! Happy and healthy! And cute! Ross Geller : And smart! Rachel Green : Popular. Ross Geller : With an aptitude for science. Phoebe Buffay : Are you two talking about the same baby? Hey! Have you started off thinking of names yet? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! I've come up with a bunch of ideas! Ross Geller : Really? Me too! Phoebe Buffay : Me too! Rachel Green : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh! If it's a girl, Phoebe, and if it's a boy, Phoebo! Ross Geller : Maybe. But it wouldn't hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? Rachel Green : Okay! I was thinking if it's a girl, how about Sandrine? It's French. Ross Geller : Huh. That's a really pretty name for-for an industrial solvent. Rachel Green : Okay fine, what do you have? Ross Geller : Well, OK, it's for a boy. Well, I know it's a little out there, but...Darwin. Rachel Green : Wow, oh my God, our child will be beaten to death in the schoolyard. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, by Sandrine. Ross Geller : You're just saying that 'cause I said no to your name! Rachel Green : I'm really, really not. Phoebe Buffay : How-how about you each get five vetoes? Ross Geller : All right. Rachel Green : All right. Ross Geller : That sounds fair. Rachel Green : Yeah! I don't think you're going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If it's a girl, Rain. Ross Geller : Veto. Rachel Green : Why? Ross Geller : Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat. Phoebe Buffay : I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show! Ross Geller : Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher? Rachel Green : Ross, why do you hate our child? Ross Geller : Fine, you go. Rachel Green : Okay, James. Ross Geller : Huh. Rachel Green : But only if it's a girl. Ross Geller : Oh, veto. How about-Ooh, I like Ruth! What about Ruth? Rachel Green : Oh! I'm sorry! Are we having an 89-year-old? How about Dayton? Ross Geller : Veto. Stewart? Rachel Green : Veto. Sawyer? Ross Geller : Veto. Helen? Rachel Green : Veto. Phoebe Buffay : Is it me, or is veto starting to sound really good? Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Boy, do I have a surprise for you! Chandler Bing : Sex on the balcony? Monica Geller : No, but someone's really not going to get over that idea, are they? Chandler Bing : What is it? Monica Geller : I drew you a bath! Chandler Bing : Honey, I don't like baths! Could you draw me a picture of us having sex on the balcony? Monica Geller : Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So it's a boy bath! Chandler Bing : Well, this does butch it up a bit. Monica Geller : I swear, if you try it, you will love it! Chandler Bing : All right, if I do this, can we at least discuss sex on the balcony? Monica Geller : Absolutely. Monica Geller : Bet I know how that discussion's going to go. Chandler Bing : All right, this isn't so bad. I like the flower smell! Which is okay, because I've got my boat. Monica Geller : So? Chandler Bing : Oh my God. Monica Geller : I told you you were a bath person! Hey, when you get out, maybe I can give you a facial! Chandler Bing : I'm going to need a bigger boat. Ross Geller : I don't think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that? Rachel Green : Oh, oh my God! I can practically hear the mahjong tiles! Dr. Long : Okay! All your tests look fine. Now, are you two interested in knowing the sex of the baby? Ross Geller : Uh, no. No, we're not. Rachel Green : But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether it's a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo? Dr. Long : That's right. But if you don't want to know... Ross Geller : No, no, we want to wait, right? Rachel Green : Right. Right. Dr. Long : Oh, I'll be right back. And, uh, I know it's really not my place, but please don't name your child Phoebo. Rachel Green : So, which of these babies do you think is the ugliest? Ross Geller : What? Rach! Come on, that's terrible! They're...uh...they're babies. They're-they're all beautiful. Rachel Green : Third one from the left? Ross Geller : Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows I'm talking about it. Don't-don't you-Wh-Wha-Hey!! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : You're looking! Rachel Green : I didn't! Ross Geller : I saw you! Rachel Green : Okay fine, I did. But I didn't see anything, I swear. Ross Geller : Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you! Rachel Green : Okay, but Ross just listen to me... Ross Geller : No, no, no, no! Don't tell me! I don't want to know! Rachel Green : But I couldn't even if I wanted to, because I don't know! I swear; I didn't see anything, and I don't want to know! It was just a momentary lapse. Ross Geller : Momentary lapse. Don't-don't you have any self-control? Rachel Green : Okay, a couple months late on the lecture, Ross. Monica Geller : Hello? Chandler Bing : I'm in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think there's something wrong. Monica Geller : You know what? I-I think I'll wait out here. Chandler Bing : I'm in the bathtub. Monica Geller : Oh. What's wrong? Chandler Bing : I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The water's tepid. The salt didn't dissolve and is now... lodged places. And the scents I used don't compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile-Oh! Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : The bath salts! They're starting to effervesce! It's different. It's interesting. Monica Geller : Okay, let's talk about something else. Chandler Bing : Yeah! Sure, sure. So, what was going on with you today? Oh-oh-oh! Monica Geller : Well, I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey. He was talking about rules and right and wrong and... Chandler Bing : I had the exact same conversation. Monica Geller : You did? What was he talking about? Chandler Bing : I don't know! Joey hasn't had this much trouble getting out words since we saw him in Macbeth! Monica Geller : That was a long night. Chandler Bing : All right, let's break this down. What exactly did he say to you? Monica Geller : Okay, he was talking about rules. Chandler Bing : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : Umm, and looking at people differently. Chandler Bing : He didn't say anything about that to me. Monica Geller : What did he tell you? Chandler Bing : He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules. Monica Geller : Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone. Chandler Bing : But what did he mean by rules? Monica Geller : Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in! Chandler Bing : Because he was looking at her differently. Monica Geller : And Phoebe is his friend, so he thinks that would be breaking the rules! Chandler Bing : My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London! Phoebe Buffay : You guys? Monica Geller : Just a minute! That's Mrs. Tribbiani! Chandler Bing : You don't say anything. Monica Geller : Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies? Chandler Bing : I'm not going to let you say anything. Monica Geller : You just stay here! Chandler Bing : Oh, God! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey, Monica, I brought back your iron. Monica Geller : Oh, you had that? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Monica Geller : I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just as well, I broke this one. Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : Nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : I mean, I-I, I really shouldn't say. I mean, I'm really not supposed to. Phoebe Buffay : Fine. Monica Geller : It's a humdinger! Phoebe Buffay : Then it's really too bad that you can't tell me. Monica Geller : Somebody likes you! Phoebe Buffay : Is it Chandler? Monica Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : Well, then tell him to stop staring! Monica Geller : It's Joey! Phoebe Buffay : Really?! Joey?! You don't say. Monica Geller : Is it something you'd be interested in? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But y'know on the other hand... No. No, I can't. We're friends. No, oh, no. I don't want to risk what we have. Monica Geller : I guess that makes sense. So, you think you're going to talk to him? Phoebe Buffay : Sure, yeah. I mean, it's Joey. I don't want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey! Monica Geller : Not Chandler, just Joey. Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : You know what? I've been thinking about it. I'm really coming around on the name Ruth. I think I would actually consider naming our child that. Ross Geller : Rach, I-I can't tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh... Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know we're never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know it's a boy! Rachel Green : I didn't see anything! I actually changed my mind about the name. Ross Geller : I don't think so! You're just giving me Ruth so you'll get to name it when it's a boy, and that's when you'll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia. Rachel Green : I would-Sequoia? Ross Geller : Veto. Rachel Green : Fine. Ross Geller : Unless... You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, I'm not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table! Rachel Green : But Ross, you want the name Ruth! Ross Geller : Not like this! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Well, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Joey, I know. Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : I knooow. Joey Tribbiani : Whaaat? Phoebe Buffay : I know about your feelings. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. You do? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, and I'm sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but that's very rare. Joey Tribbiani : I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, it's Rachel for God sakes. Phoebe Buffay : For God sakes, it's Rachel! Joey Tribbiani : I know. I know. And she's not only my friend; she's my pregnant friend! She's my pregnant friend who's Ross' ex! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's Rachel. Beat me over the head with it. Joey Tribbiani : What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, y'know? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I don't like about her. You want to hear it? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : She made me switch to light Mayo. That's it! That's all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better! Phoebe Buffay : Joey, I just think you're getting worked up over nothing. This is probably just a crush. Joey Tribbiani : You think? Phoebe Buffay : Absolutely! Y'know, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, just a crush! That's all this is! It's a crush! I'm Joey; I don't get deep feelings. Phoebe Buffay : That's right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know I've had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And I'm sure you've had them for us. Joey Tribbiani : Not really. Phoebe Buffay : Mm-hmm. Throw me a bone here. Ross Geller : So, I uh... I called the doctor and now we both know the sex of the baby. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : That's right. The student has become the master. Rachel Green : Ross, I swear, I don't know. Ross Geller : Oh, come on, you know it's a girl! Rachel Green : A what?! Ross Geller : You really didn't know? Rachel Green : We're having a girl? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : That's what you just said! Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : You said girl! Ross Geller : Yes. I'm... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Rachel Green : I'm not! We're having a girl! Sometimes I can't believe it's with you-But still! We're having a girl! Ross Geller : I know! I know. You know what? I'm putting Ruth back on the table! Rachel Green : Oh, yes! We'll have ourselves a little baby Ruth... Ross Geller : Permission to veto. Rachel Green : Yes, please. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Do I smell essential oils? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm going to take a bath. I'm just going to get a magazine. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : What do you think you're doing? Chandler Bing : L-leaving my troubles behind? Monica Geller : I know that you're new at this, but this is completely unacceptable bath decorum. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's so hard to care when you're this relaxed. Monica Geller : Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now you're just a girl in a tub! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Bubbles. Manly. Well, I just thought I would drop by and let you know how it went with Joey. Chandler Bing : You told her?! Monica Geller : She pulled it out of me! She's like a conversational wizard! How'd it go? Phoebe Buffay : Well, you were wrong, he doesn't like me! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors' house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didn't like you? How would you feel? Monica Geller : I don't think I'd care. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Lee Majors is hot! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : We're in the bathroom! Joey Tribbiani : Why? Chandler Bing : Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable time! Joey Tribbiani : What are you guys doing in here? Monica Geller : Oh my God! A friend he's looking at differently, but it's wrong. It's Rachel! Chandler Bing : You like Rachel?! Joey Tribbiani : It's no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. It's just a crush! It's going to go away! Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Mazel tov. Rachel Green : Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? Oh, my! Monica Geller : Honey, cover it up with the boat! Ross Geller : Hello? Chandler Bing : Yes we're all in here and we would love for you to join us! Ross Geller : Well hey! What's going on? Ooh, cool boat--Oh, no. Hey, did you, did you tell them? Rachel Green : No, I was waiting for you! Phoebe Buffay : Tell us what? Rachel Green : We're having a girl. #ALL# : Oh, wow! Yay! Wow! Hooray! Oh, man! Chandler Bing : I'll...I'll get you later! Joey Tribbiani : All right. It's a new day, and it's just a crush, that's all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everything's going to be fine. It's just a crush. Rachel Green : Hi, sweetie. Joey Tribbiani : I love you. Monica Geller : It sure is nice to do this together, isn't it? Chandler Bing : Yeah. And what you're doing feels so good. Monica Geller : I'm not touching you. Chandler Bing : You're not? Monica Geller : It's the salts. Chandler Bing : Oh, sweet Lord. New realms of pleasure! Monica Geller : Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy! Monica Geller : Hey, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I left my guitar here again. Monica Geller : Oh, okay. No problem. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Monica Geller : Here you go. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Umm... Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : So do you want to hang out or something? Monica Geller : Phoebe! You kinda caught me at a bad time. Phoebe Buffay : Oh are you and Chandler... Monica Geller : Yes! Exactly. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Hey Pheebs, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! You're getting a massage! You never let me massage you!! Monica Geller : Phoebe, I can explain! Phoebe Buffay : You told me you hate massages! Chandler Bing : Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning...Don't let Phoebe in. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe this! How long as this been going on? Monica Geller : Well umm, Alexandra has been... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it has a name? Monica Geller : Phoebe, don't get upset! Phoebe Buffay : Okay-Oop! Too late! I'm leaving! Come on Chandler let's go! Chandler Bing : Well, Phoebe I thought I'd--Yeah, what the hell. Joey Tribbiani : Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, we're almost there! We're almost there! Rachel Green : Oh Joey, I'm so happy things worked out for us that we're having this baby together. I love you so much. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I love you too. Rachel Green : And I hope it's not an inappropriate time to say this but, you're the best sex I ever had. Joey Tribbiani : That's always appropriate! Oh, okay. One more push! One more push! Doctor : Oh, here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations! Ross Geller : I hope you're a better father than you're a friend!! Rachel Green : Joey! Joey! Joey Tribbiani : What? What's going on? Rachel Green : Come feel this! Come feel my belly! Joey Tribbiani : Aaaah... Rachel Green : Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?! Joey Tribbiani : Really?! Rachel Green : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, y'know what? Maybe uh, you...you should come to me. I'm a not, I'm not wearing any bottoms. Rachel Green : Oh, okay! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my, oh my God! Rachel Green : Aw, it's unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, she's like umm...oh...who's that kind of annoying girl soccer player? Joey Tribbiani : Mia Hamm? Rachel Green : Mia Hamm! Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's amazing. Rachel Green : Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry! Chandler Bing : Hey babe. Monica Geller : Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they don't like us do they? Chandler Bing : Who says you can't get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back? Monica Geller : No, it doesn't say where it came from. Where would we return it? Chandler Bing : How about to the street say from the balcony? Monica Geller : Why don't we just find a place for it? Chandler Bing : Okay. How about in that cabinet? Monica Geller : No! That's where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation? Chandler Bing : How about the closet by the bathroom? Monica Geller : Oh, okay. Here, why don't you let me do it? Chandler Bing : Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. It's locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked? Monica Geller : No reason. I-I keep private things in there. Chandler Bing : Oh y'know, I've been living here a while and I've never seen what's inside that closet. What is, what is in there? Monica Geller : Feminine stuff. Chandler Bing : Don't try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff! Monica Geller : Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-you'll let it go. Chandler Bing : Fine. Monica Geller : Thank you! Chandler Bing : Love you. Phoebe Buffay : Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? You! Chandler Bing : Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. If! I said, "If it helps!" Phoebe Buffay : Why won't you let me massage you? Monica Geller : Well it's...I mean I'd just-I'd be self-conscious. You're my friend; I'd be naked. Phoebe Buffay : Monica! We lived together for years! I've seen you naked! Monica Geller : That's different, we were roommates! And when?! Phoebe Buffay : I'm curious about the human body. Monica Geller : Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me. Phoebe Buffay : But I'm a professional! And I'm really good! Look, if you're uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please? Monica Geller : Okay, if it means that much to you... Phoebe Buffay : It does! How would you feel if you couldn't share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldn't teach us about dragons. Monica Geller : Dinosaurs. Phoebe Buffay : Potato, potaato. Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross! The baby's kicking! Ross Geller : What?! It is?! Rachel Green : It's not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do that again. Ross Geller : Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened? Rachel Green : Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joey's room and he was sleeping... Joey Tribbiani : A dreamless sleep. Ross Geller : My God, the baby's kicking. That's great. Although I...kinda wish I-I would've been there to feel the kicking for the first time y'know. Joey Tribbiani : Well I got stuff going on in here if you wanna feel. Ross Geller : Look, I-I don't want to miss anymore baby stuff. So...Here. Here's my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! I'll be there! Okay? I don't care if it's three in the morning and all you want is ice cream. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Can I get a copy of that? Phoebe Buffay : Are you under the sheet? Monica Geller : Yes. Phoebe Buffay : Great, let's begin. How's the pressure? Monica Geller : Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good! Phoebe Buffay : Stating the obvious, but thank you. And it's not weird is it. Monica Geller : No. Ooohh... Phoebe Buffay : That's right, you just enjoy. Monica Geller : Oh. Oh yeah! Ohhhhh! Ohh! Oh yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh God Phoebe!! Oh that's it! That's it! Right there! Oh! Ooooh-oooh-ooooh... Chandler Bing : I wasn't trying to open your closet! I wasn't trying to open your closet! I swear! Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Monica has a secret closet and she won't let me see what's in it. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Chandler Bing : I don't know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I can't see?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Ooh, I bet it's Richard. Chandler Bing : Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here? Joey Tribbiani : Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe she's having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or! Chandler Bing : And here we go... Joey Tribbiani : I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Y'know it wouldn't kill ya to respect your wife's privacy! Stupid closet full of bugs! Rachel Green : Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I don't-Whoa!! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey whoa-whoa, don't worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing. Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely. But, we're gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? I'll page Ross on the way. Come on. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh God-Ow!-Oo! Joey Tribbiani : Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everything's gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. Oww crushing bones! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! So? Dr. Long : She's fine. She's experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall. Rachel Green : Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies? Joey Tribbiani : So but everything is normal. Dr. Long : Absolutely. Joey Tribbiani : And-and there's no danger to her and the baby? Dr. Long : No-no. Contractions can be unnerving if you don't know what they are, but she's fine. Rachel Green : Thank you doctor. Oh thank you for being so nice and calm. Joey Tribbiani : Calm?! I wasn't calm! I've never been more scared in all my life! Rachel Green : But wait you said everything was gonna be okay. Joey Tribbiani : Well what do I know?! I'm not a doctor! Rachel Green : But I-But everything is okay. I'm fine! Joey Tribbiani : You sure?! Rachel Green : Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctor's uterus though. Mild discomfort, what's he talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey-hey! Ross Geller : Is everything okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, everything's fine! Ross Geller : Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened? Joey Tribbiani : Something called Braxton-Hicks contractions. Ross Geller : Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women don't even feel them. Rachel Green : Okay, no uterus, no opinion. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, what's with the candy? Ross Geller : Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater. Rachel Green : Oh you went to the movies by yourself? Ross Geller : No I-Mona! Rachel Green : Oh, I gotta go back in there. Ross Geller : What? Why? What's wrong? Rachel Green : No, everything's fine. I just gotta go back... Ross Geller : No really, you tell me what's up. Rachel Green : I-I forgot my underwear. Ross Geller : So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, don't worry about it man. Don't worry about it, no big deal. Ross Geller : Yeah but still, I mean it should've been me. I'm the dad. Dr. Long : Uh, if you have any questions, here's some information on Braxton-Hicks. Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. You're gonna make a wonderful father. Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! He brought Twizlers! Chandler Bing : There has got to be a way! Joey Tribbiani : Easy there Captain Kirk. Oh, do you have a bobby pin? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Oh no wait, I'm not an nine-year-old girl. Joey Tribbiani : Then why do you throw like one? Chandler Bing : Maybe Monica has a bobby pin. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. "Monica." Chandler Bing : So, how's the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. Wow, you sure found that quick. I just-I wish I didn't feel this way about Rachel anymore, y'know? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think...I think Ross feels left out. Y'know? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God... You should've seen the look on Ross's face. By the way, I have no idea what I'm doing here. For all I know I'm just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card? Chandler Bing : That's a good idea. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Okay. So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I just...I feel terrible. Chandler Bing : Well, it's not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Y'know? You're doing nothing wrong. Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. Richard? If-if you're in there, could you pass me my credit card? Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, I got that. Monica Geller : So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay but you should know though, I've raised my rates to $200 an hour. Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : I mean $500. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : 600. Monica Geller : What's going on? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on. Monica Geller : What?! You're crazy! There's nothing sexual about the noises I make! Phoebe Buffay : Really? There's nothing sexual about this? Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. What are you looking at?! I mean hi. Monica Geller : Oh my-This is so embarrassing. Oh my God, I'm never gonna get massaged again! Phoebe Buffay : No, you can't let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do! Monica Geller : Really?! Phoebe Buffay : Well not clients, lovers. But let's just y'know, try it again. Come back and-and we'll work through it. Monica Geller : Are you sure? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Monica Geller : I guess. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Okay, if you'll just excuse me. So, did you hear something you liked? Rachel Green : Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick! Ross Geller : Hey uh, I brought you some lunch. Rachel Green : Ohh! That's so sweet of you! Oh yum! Did you put pickles on this? Ross Geller : Well yeah! Rachel Green : Oh Ross!! Ross Geller : What?! What?! Rach what?! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Ross Geller : I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles. Joey Tribbiani : Pickle? Pickles make her sick. Giving her pickles is like giving me salad. Ross Geller : I-I'm sorry Rach, I didn't know. Are you gonna be okay? Rachel Green : Yeah, I'll be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there? Joey Tribbiani : I'm on it! Ross Geller : I can't believe this! I shouldn't be the one making her throw up! Joey Tribbiani : Dude relax! It could happen to anyone. Ross Geller : Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I don't know any of it and I'm the father. I wish I'd be more involved y'know. Rachel Green : Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : What's up? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation. Rachel Green : Are you breaking up with us? Joey Tribbiani : The thing is...'cause I live with Rachel I'm here for a lot of the stuff, okay? And Ross...Ross is missing everything. So... Rachel Green : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you two should live together. Rachel Green : Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that...if you're gonna have a roommate, y'know it might as well be the father. Rachel Green : But Joey, I don't think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean--Or he does. Ross Geller : No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis. Rachel Green : But Ross, its you and me! Ross Geller : So? Sure! But it-it wouldn't be anything romantic. And I'm-I'm dating Mona-Damnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?! Joey Tribbiani : All right now, so? What do you think? Rachel Green : I don't know. Is it crazy? Ross Geller : No! No it's not. Joey, this is a smart idea. Joey Tribbiani : Well, I was due. Rachel Green : Okay, let's do it. I'll move in. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh Rach that's great. That's great. Chandler Bing : Not to shabby, I got this all off myself...using my wife's tools. Oh my God! Monica Geller : How did you get in there?! Chandler Bing : You're messy. Monica Geller : Oh no! You weren't supposed to see this! Chandler Bing : I married Fred Sanford! Monica Geller : No Chandler, you don't understand! Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? I'm y'know...I'm sick. Chandler Bing : No, honey you're not sick! Look, I don't love you because you're organized, I love you in spite of that. Monica Geller : Really? You promise you won't tell anyone? Chandler Bing : Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet. Monica Geller : Well...it's just umm...I'm afraid you might mess it up. Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : So Rachel's all moved out huh? How are you taking it? Joey Tribbiani : Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldn't stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, it's a couple weeks past it's expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick. Chandler Bing : Are you okay? Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me? I'm great! Yeah, I'm uh; I'm better than great. I am good. And now that she's gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldn't do before. Y'know? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Y'know? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Y'know? I like being on my own, I'm uh, better off this way. I'm uh, a lone wolf. Y'know? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. What's a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! Monica Geller : Ohhh. Phoebe Buffay : That's it. Just relax. Monica Geller : Ohh. Oh! Ohh! Phoebe Buffay : Come on more! Monica Geller : Oh God! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you like that don't you? Monica Geller : Oh yeah right there! Phoebe Buffay : You want it there? You take it there baby! Monica Geller : Uh Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, say my name. Say it! And now I'm going to cover you back up, and umm we're never doing this again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Hey, Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Hey, Happy Valentine's Day! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you, too. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so, uh, how's it going living over at Ross'? Rachel Green : It's good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? Oh, thank you. I'll see you guys later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : There's one lucky to-go cup of coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top? Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. But maybe later. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone? Gunther : You want anything? Joey Tribbiani : You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that that's never going to happen! Gunther : We have red bagels. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, okay. Phoebe Buffay : So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, she's been away all week visiting her parents, but she'll be cool. I mean, she's been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, 'Fossils are my friends.' Phoebe Buffay : Ugh. Come on, Mona, don't kiss ass. Ross Geller : Uh, I'm going to take off. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape! Ross Geller : What is it? Phoebe Buffay : It's a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment? Ross Geller : All right. 'Candy and Cookie?' Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Candy's the mother, Cookie's the daughter. The father's also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people? Monica Geller : Phoebe, c'mere. I want to show you something in the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Monica, grow up! Ross Geller : Hey, what's behind your back? Monica Geller : Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebe's opinion on for Valentine's Day. Ross Geller : You don't want my opinion? Monica Geller : Not really. Ross Geller : Come on, I'm your older brother, ask me! Monica Geller : All right, big brother. Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her? Ross Geller : The red one. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Look, I know you've been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate. Joey Tribbiani : No, I'm not sleeping with your friend Jane again. Phoebe Buffay : He-hee! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! A dog! Hi! Who, you got to admit, looks a lot like Jane. Phoebe Buffay : This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up! Joey Tribbiani : Thanks so much, Pheebs! We are going to have so much fun, yes we are! Oh! Not that kind of fun. Chandler Bing : Happy Valentine's! Monica Geller : Okay! I'll be right out. I'm slipping into something a little less comfortable, and a little more slutty. Chandler Bing : 'Candy and Cookie'. 'Candy and Cookie?' Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! Man On Tv : Yeah, just relax. Chandler Bing : I love you, St. Valentine. Chandler Bing : Woah, woah, that's not pretty! Man On Tv : Now, push! Woman On Tv : Ow! Ow! Ooh! That hurts! Chandler Bing : Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever! Woman On Tv : Ohhh! Make it stop! Chandler Bing : I am trying! Joey Tribbiani : Get the ball, ready? Get the ball, get the ball! Well, you're cute, but you're not too smart! Joey Tribbiani : Did I just throw this? Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Rachel Green : I accidentally packed these with my stuff. Who is this? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's, uh, that's Phoebe's friend's dog. I don't know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella. Rachel Green : Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but I've got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously can't stop it. Joey Tribbiani : C'mere. Hey. C'mere. That's Rachel. She's the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with you-we love her. But we can't have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? You're a guy. Well, you used to be. Monica Geller : So what do you think? Monica Geller : I've still got it! Chandler Bing : Why did you get me this? Monica Geller : What is it? Chandler Bing : It's yelling...bleeding...dilating. Oh, the dilating... Monica Geller : Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebe's. Why were you even watching it? Chandler Bing : I thought...maybe...you got me porn for Valentine's Day. Monica Geller : Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentine's Day... you were right! Apparently, it's about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! Oh, wait a minute. Those aren't stars. Anyway, you want to take a look? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm not really in a sexy mood right now. Monica Geller : Honey, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Well, remember the first time we saw Jaws? Monica Geller : Mm-hmm. Chandler Bing : How long it took to go back in the water? Monica Geller : Chandler, we can't let this tape wreck Valentine's Day! Chandler Bing : You don't know. You didn't see it. Monica Geller : Child-birth, it's a natural thing! It's beautiful. Chandler Bing : Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? Monica Geller : Oh! Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me! Chandler Bing : See, honey, there's- Monica Geller : Don't touch me! Mona : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! So, how was Atlantic City? Mona : Good. Ross Geller : Yeah? Mona : I brought you back a present. Ross Geller : Wha-? Oh, come on. You didn't have to-saltwater taffy?! Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but it's actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. That's not interesting. Mona : I think it's interesting. Ross Geller : I do too! I missed you! Mona : I missed you, too! So, how was your week? Ross Geller : Oh, it was good! It was good. Actually, the baby started kicking! Mona : How exciting! Ross Geller : Yeah! I know! It was. Oh... the only sad thing is I wasn't around when it happened for the first time. Mona : Oh no. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm missing out on all this other stuff, too. So, Joey suggested Rachel move in with me. Mona : Yeah right! Ross Geller : What? Mona : Joey cracks me up! It's like, 'Yeah, why don't you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldn't be awkward at all!' Ross Geller : Huh...uh-huh. Mona : Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! Mona : So, what'd you tell him? Ross Geller : Just a second! Phoebe Buffay : How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you? Ross Geller : I don't know, she seemed to think it was such a crazy idea! Um, plus, she, uh, she got me taffy! Phoebe Buffay : Taffy, really? I've never had any. Ross Geller : Ever?! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. Thank you! So what, you're just never going to tell her? Ross Geller : Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, I'm going to take her to an amazing Valentine's dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks I'm the best boyfriend in the world, then I'm going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me. Phoebe Buffay : she's a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going to-what the mother of crap is up with this stuff? Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? What's the deal? Oh, it's nice! May I try a pink one? Joey Tribbiani : So, between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross, it just isn't going to happen. It would be like you falling in love with a cat. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, buddy. How's my favorite dog, huh? How's my favorite dog? You're subdued. Did you give him a beer? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Will you excuse us, we need to talk for a moment. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Oh, me, right! Phoebe Buffay : He's miserable! What happened to him? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing. We just talked about stuff. Phoebe Buffay : What stuff? Joey Tribbiani : Rachel stuff. Phoebe Buffay : Oh...Joey, you bummed him out! This was the happiest dog in the world, and he spends half a day with you, and look at him! Joey Tribbiani : He's breathing! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I'm going to take him back to Wendy's. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, no! He's fine! Look, look, look! Here's your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! My God, what have I done to you, huh? I broke the dog! Pheebs, I broke the dog! Ross Geller : Well, I'm, uh, going to pick up Mona. What have you got going tonight? Rachel Green : Oh, I've got big Valentine's plans! I've got my Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy! Ross Geller : Y'know, it's interesting! Most people think that's made with seawater, when in fact- Rachel Green : Ross, we actually watched the documentary together. Rachel Green : Ooh! My Chinese food! Let me get my cash! Ross Geller : Mona? What are-hi! What are you doing here? I'm, um, supposed to pick you up! Mona : Change of plans, I made you a special Valentine's dinner! Surprise! Ross Geller : Ayyyayyyy! Rachel Green : Oh, hey, Mona! Mona : Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! What's she doing here? Ross Geller : I have no idea! Rachel Green : I'll be watching TV if anybody needs me. Mona : Seriously, what is she doing? Ross Geller : Uh...lately, she just likes hanging out here. Mona : Why? Ross Geller : I think she's lonely. Mona : Okay, but it's Valentine's Day! Ross Geller : I know. Mona : Can't we just ask her to go? Ross Geller : No, no. She's way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy. Rachel Green : I'm not here! That's just my Chinese food! Mona : Oh, my God! She has food delivered here? Ross Geller : Mm-hmm. She's-she's emotional, but, but ballsy. Rachel Green : You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get in my sweats, and eat this in bed! Ross Geller : And you thought she was going to be in our way! So, why don't you, uh, open the champagne, and I'll be right back. I've got a surprise for you. Mona : You got another ex-wife back there? Ross Geller : Please start drinking! Rachel Green : I'm just going to grab the phone. Mona : Oh, Rachel! Wait! Hey, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but, but, um... what are you doing? Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry! Do you need the phone? Mona : No, no. Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment, and, and, we gotta have some boundaries, so why don't you go back to your place and give us some privacy? Rachel Green : But, but, Mona, I live here. Ross Geller : Happy Valentine's Day! ...Or something to remember me by. Monica Geller : How long has it been this time? Chandler Bing : 90 seconds. Monica Geller : That's better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it...except all I did was think about it. Chandler Bing : You know, it haunts me? Up 'til now, the worst thing I ever saw, was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screensaver! Monica Geller : Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why don't we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed? Chandler Bing : I can do that. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Now all we've got to do is get rid of this chair. Monica Geller : Oh, thank God! Chandler Bing : Oh, I know! Monica Geller : Come in! Rachel Green : Hi! I'm so sorry to barge in on your Valentine's, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross. Monica Geller : Oh, my God. Chandler Bing : Poor Ross. Chandler Bing : Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes! Monica Geller : Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? It's here. Chandler Bing : Oh, And We Should Warn You, Before You Watch It don't watch it. Rachel Green : Why? You saw it? Is it scary? Chandler Bing : Well, let's just say it's ironic how footage of someone being born can make you want to kill yourself. Rachel Green : Well, now, wait. Now I'm all freaked out. Come on, you guys will watch it with me. Monica Geller : No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you! Rachel Green : C'mon, seriously, you guys, you're not going to make me watch this alone! Monica Geller : She's right...of course not. Honey, get the tape. Chandler Bing : This reminds me of a very specific part of the tape. Okay, here we go. Rachel Green : Okay. Ooh, my! Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?! Chandler Bing : Why have I seen this thing three times?! Monica Geller : It's...still beautiful. Rachel Green : Uh! It's horrible! Monica Geller : I know! I know, I'm so sorry for you! Rachel Green : Oh, my God! Chandler Bing : Wait, you guys, look! Rachel Green : What? Did her ass explode?! Chandler Bing : No, the baby's out! Look, look! Monica Geller : Oh, look at those little fingers and toes! Chandler Bing : And look how happy the mom is now! Monica Geller : Oh...Rach! Rachel Green : Oh, screw you guys, you don't have to do it! Ross Geller : Hey, hey, man! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what's up? Ross Geller : Uh...Mona just dumped me. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man, I'm sorry. Why? Ross Geller : Well, with everything that's been going on lately, I haven't exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didn't tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know? Joey Tribbiani : Still, that really sucks, man. Especially on Valentine's Day. Ross Geller : Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentine's Day? What's going on, huh? Girl trouble? Joey Tribbiani : Sort of. Ross Geller : Really?! Joey Tribbiani : You don't have to seem so happy about it. Ross Geller : Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I...I d- Ross Geller : Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Y'know, actually once-once I got dumped during sex. Ross Geller : Anyway, so, uh, so what is it? Joey Tribbiani : Forget about it. It's no big deal. Ross Geller : C'mon! Joey! What is it? Joey Tribbiani : It's nothing. Ross Geller : Hey, hey, it's me. Why can't you tell me? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, uh...sit down. Um... there's this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh...it can't happen. Ross Geller : She's not a Tribbiani? Joey Tribbiani : No! Ross Geller : I knew it. So, is she someone from work? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Ross Geller : Well, uh, does she like you? Joey Tribbiani : Sometimes I think maybe she could. But it doesn't matter, because I can't do anything about it. Ross Geller : Why not? Joey Tribbiani : Well, it's complicated. She's with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because we're really good friends. Ross Geller : So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh... is he still in love with her? Joey Tribbiani : No. I don't think so. Ross Geller : Okay. Um... is he a good guy? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's the best. Ross Geller : Then talk to him! He might be fine with it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't know. Ross Geller : Joey, it's worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her. Joey Tribbiani : I do! So much! I can't stop thinking about her! I can't sleep, I- Ross Geller : Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. Gunther : Here's your warm milk. Ross Geller : I'm going to...uh...I'm going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Ross Geller : Anyway... seriously, uh...just...just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. Joey Tribbiani : It's Rachel. Rachel Green : You're going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, you're going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! Woman On Tv : I came to the big city to become a star! I'll do...anything to make that happen! Man On Tv : Anything? Rachel Green : Hmm...maybe it starts with how she gets pregnant. Joey Tribbiani : There's this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, it's complicated. She's with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, y'know? 'Ccause we're really good friends. Ross Geller : So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh... is he a good guy? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's the best. Ross Geller : Then talk to him! He might be fine with it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't know. Ross Geller : Joey, it's worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her. Joey Tribbiani : I do! So much! I can't stop thinking about her! I can't sleep, I- Ross Geller : Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. Joey Tribbiani : It's Rachel. Ross Geller : Did you um-I'm sorry, did you just say it's Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Ross Geller : Um, you...you like Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. I like Rachel. Ross Geller : Rachel?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, okay but look, buy uh-Hey-hey, y'know, y'know who else I like? You! And it-it doesn't get said enough. I like you Ross. Ross Geller : But R-R-Rachel-Rachel?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but it's not a big deal. Ross Geller : It's not a big deal? Oh, I'm sorry I just...um, I...what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I like-you-you can't stop thinking about her. Like how you can't sleep? Joey Tribbiani : I'm an actor, y'know? As-as a group, we tend to be over dramatic. Ross Geller : Rachel who's carrying my baby? Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Look no, I-I know it's bad, and I know it's wrong. Okay? But-but it's not like anything's ever gonna happen. Y'know? These-these are just feelings, they're gonna go away. Ross Geller : Y'know what? I-I gotta go. Joey Tribbiani : Oh come on Ross! Hey Ross-Ross don't... Ross Geller : I just-y'know-I-I just have one-Rachel?! Gunther : Rachel?!! Rachel Green : Oh-oh! Okay, she's kicking! Chandler Bing : Oh! She's growing inside you. Rachel Green : Whoa!! Chandler Bing : Oh! Rachel Green : Wow that was a big one. Chandler Bing : I think that's the youngest girl ever to reject me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey you guys! Chandler Bing : Oh hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey listen let me ask you, do you believe in soul mates? Rachel Green : Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. That's why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. He'll find me. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, and you? Chandler Bing : No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I don't think they exist. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, good. Chandler Bing : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well last night, I met Monica's. Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half. Chandler Bing : Come on, don't be crazy. You don't think there's someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? Rachel Green : Well, what's he like?! Phoebe Buffay : Well he's tall. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : He has brown hair. Rachel Green : Of course, of course. Chandler Bing : A tall guy with hair similar to mine, oh unknowable universe! Phoebe Buffay : He works with food! Rachel Green : Oh sure. Older? Phoebe Buffay : Obviously, and he's British. Rachel Green : Oh, I was just gonna ask! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? And, he's-he's so centered and mature and confident. Rachel Green : Oh, it's so sad they never had a chance to meet. Chandler Bing : Luckily, the guy she settled for can't hear what you're talking about. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm so sorry. Um, and maybe I'm wrong! I but-y'know I'm gonna go out with him again, I'll find out more. Chandler Bing : You believe that this guy is destined for someone else and you're still gonna date him? Phoebe Buffay : Well, he may not be my soul mate, but a girl's gotta eat. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : I just talked to Joey, I just-I want to see how you were. Ross Geller : Oh y'know, I still-I can't believe it. Joey and Rachel I mean it's... It's like you and me going out, only weirder! Monica Geller : All right, I know you're hurting, and-and I want to be supportive, but don't say that again. Ross Geller : Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then he'd be the stepfather of my child. Monica Geller : Honey, I don't think that's something we need to worry about! First of all he's-he's never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how she'd react. Ross Geller : Sure, because women never like Joey. Y'know, I think he's a virgin. Monica Geller : Joey...he's not even thinking about going after Rachel! Ross Geller : He's not? Monica Geller : No! All he's thinking about is how you're taking this! I mean, listen it's totally freaking him out. He's talking about moving to Vermont. Ross Geller : Why? Monica Geller : He says he wants to leave the country. He thinks you hate him. Ross Geller : Hate him? I... No, I don't hate him. It's just it's Rachel, y'know? Monica Geller : Honey I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I don't want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that you're still his friend. Ross Geller : Okay. Okay, I'll talk to him. Monica Geller : All right. Now do it soon, he just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Hi! Monica Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Chandler, Monica, this is Don. Don : Oh, hello. Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Soul mate. Chandler Bing : What? Phoebe Buffay : Soul mate. Monica Geller : So, what have you guys been doing? Don : Well, we just had a terrible lunch today at Reattica. What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place? Monica Geller : I know! What is this, 1985?! Don : That's exactly what I said. Phoebe, isn't that strange. Monica Geller : Not really. Chandler Bing : What's wrong with sun-dried tomatoes? On a barbecue chicken pizza? No? Monica Geller : So Don, what-what other restaurants do you like? Don : Well, Octavio, 27&7-Oh! And there's this great little place, Alessandro's. Monica Geller : Oh my God! That's my restaurant, I'm the chef there. Don : You're kidding me! Monica Geller : No! Don : Your food is fantastic! Wow, I really want to talk to you about your menu, once I get some coffees first. Um, anyone want any? Monica Geller : Oh, I'd like a latte. Oh y'know what? If you're gonna talk about me, I'm gonna go with you. Chandler Bing : What are you doing?! Phoebe Buffay : Nothing! I swear to God I didn't know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didn't believe in soul mates. So... Chandler Bing : I believe in tall, handsome strangers who hit on my wife! Phoebe Buffay : They're just talking, and y'know what? Just because I think they're soul mates doesn't mean anything's gonna happen. Monica Geller : Phoebe, good work. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah! Oh he's great, I love him. Phoebe Buffay : Don't worry, we'll find you someone else. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it. Ross Geller : No, I don't want to hit you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh what then? Kick me? Ross Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : Bite me? Ross Geller : No, no I don't want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that I'm not mad at you and...and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh now-Hey Ross-Ross! Do you wanna-wanna come in for a beer or something? Ross Geller : Uh...yeah sure. Joey Tribbiani : Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I don't... Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh...I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. Ross Geller : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Anyway, it uh...look it'll just...take me a while to get over her, that's all. I'm not even sure how to do that, I mean I've never been in love before so... Ross Geller : What?! You're in love with her. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I thought you knew that. Ross Geller : Umm, no. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I don't want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, I'll get over this." Y'know? I just-It just keeps gettin' harder. I don't, I don't know what to do. Y'know? What do I do? Ross Geller : I think you need to tell her how you feel. Joey Tribbiani : Okay that's the green stuff talkin'. Ross Geller : No, I'm serious. You-you need to find out where she is, because if she's not where you are, then you can start to move past this. Joey Tribbiani : But what if uh-and I'm not saying she will be-But... Ross Geller : If she is where you are then uh...then my feeling weird about it shouldn't stand in the way. Joey Tribbiani : Are you sure? Ross Geller : Yeah. Look if-if she's gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldn't find a better guy. So... Joey Tribbiani : Hey thanks. Ross Geller : So when do you think you're gonna talk to her? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God I have to tell her! I haven't even thought about what I will say. What should I say? Ross Geller : I'm understanding, but let's not get carried away. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, you're right. What am I gonna say? Oh! Ross Geller : Yeah, tell me about it. Don : ...so I've been slowly phasing out the wine importing and focusing more on the cheese side of things. Chandler Bing : Cheese you say? That's some pretty smelly work, huh Don? Don : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : Cheese, it's smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too. Don : Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, I'm one of the people who thinks the smellier the better. Monica Geller : Me too! Yeah, Chandler can't stand it. He won't even allow me to have blue cheese in the house. Don : And you're still married to him? Monica Geller : You know what I'd love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheese-Not even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries... And pate. Oh, I'm really not high, it's just I used to be fat. Don : Well if you where ever enter the Loire valley let me know, I've got a great little villa you can stay at. Chandler Bing : Is it made of cheese? Don : No. But God, a house made of cheese, wouldn't that be incredible?! Monica Geller : I'd move in tomorrow! Chandler Bing : Oh come on! Are you listening to this? Phoebe Buffay : I'm so sorry. Chandler Bing : What do we do? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I don't know how you fight that. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. Take a couple deep breaths. Look confident. Rachel Green : Joey? What's up? Joey Tribbiani : I uh, I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something. Rachel Green : Okay what's up? Joey Tribbiani : Here? In the hall? What are we animals? Rachel Green : Well honey, I'm late for a meeting. So can you just make it quick? Joey Tribbiani : Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I...want to have dinner with you tonight. That's all. Rachel Green : Sure! That sounds great! Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you. Okay? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. That's good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what you're gonna say. Good. Yeah. Don't you people ever knock?! Monica Geller : I'd like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldn't that be nice? Chandler Bing : Sure, why don't you set it up. I'll just be over here, browsing through the personals. Monica Geller : Are you okay? You've been acting weird all afternoon. Chandler Bing : Yeah, fine. Fine. Not perfect!! But good enough. Monica Geller : Jeez! What is with you? Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, did you say cheese? Monica Geller : All right, what's going on? Chandler Bing : Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I don't believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I won't stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese. Monica Geller : Chandler, you don't believe in soul mates? Chandler Bing : No. But I'm sure 'tomatoes' does. Monica Geller : I don't believe in soul mates either. Chandler Bing : You don't? Monica Geller : No. I don't think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard. Chandler Bing : So you...you don't want to live with Don in a cheese house? Monica Geller : No, I've had second thoughts about that. Do you realize how hard that would be to clean? Chandler Bing : I love you. Monica Geller : I know. Chandler Bing : Y'know what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers. No? Really? They taste so good. Rachel Green : ...and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean I'm really worried the baby's not going to like him. Are you okay? Joey Tribbiani : What? Yeah! Sure! Uh, look at the uh, the reason...-Is it hot in here? Rachel Green : No. Not-not for me, but why don't you take off your sweater? Joey Tribbiani : I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Really?! Can I see it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Sure. Rachel Green : Huh. Wow, I wouldn't think Hobbs would like that so much. Joey Tribbiani : Uh... How long have we known each other? Rachel Green : Um, seven...e-e-eight, eight years. Wow. Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh, long time. Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : But over the past few weeks... Waiter : Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight... Joey Tribbiani : Actually uh, could you give us a second? Waiter : Sure. Sure. Second's up! Not...that kind of table. Rachel Green : So you were saying? Joey Tribbiani : I'm not quite sure. Rachel Green : Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm...now here we are. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, here we are. Uhh... I... I think I'm...falling in love with you. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : I'm falling in love with you. Rachel Green : Who are you talking too? Oh, you're kidding! Oh, it's a joke! It's funny. It's funny. I don't get it. Oh. Okay. Umm... I-I...uh, wow. Are you uh... How did umm... When? Joey Tribbiani : Does it really matter? Rachel Green : Wow! Wow. Wow. Wow, it is hot in here. Joey Tribbiani : Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You don't have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. Okay, you gotta say something! Rachel Green : Joey, Joey I love you so much, but I... Joey Tribbiani : But. Rachel Green : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah right. That's okay. That's fine. That's uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, it's no big deal. All right? I think I'm gonna go. Rachel Green : No! Joey please! Please don't! Please don't leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! Joey Tribbiani : Don't start doing that. You can't do that Rach, 'cause then you're gonna make me do that. Oh, here we go! Rachel Green : Can I? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! Rachel Green : Oh Joey honey I don't...I don't want to lose... Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey, hey! You can't. Okay? Ever! Rachel Green : I'm so sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no Rach, please, don't be sorry. Okay? Don't be sorry. Y'know I was only kidding you. Rachel Green : Yeah, that was a real good one. Waiter No. 2 : Is this your table? Waiter : Yeah. Waiter No. 2 : God, you're gonna be here all night! Waiter : I know! I haven't even read them the specials yet! Waiter No. 2 : What's the matter with them? Waiter : I don't know. I think maybe one of them is dying. I kinda hope it's the girl. The guy is really cute! Rachel Green : Joey? Are you in there? Joey Tribbiani : Oh God! That's Rachel! Monica Geller : Joey, you have to talk to her! Joey Tribbiani : No-no, I can't! I can't! Not after the other night, it's just it's...too weird, okay? Don't tell her I'm here! Don't eat that! Rachel Green : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey Rachel! Rachel Green : Is Joey here? Chandler Bing : I don't see him. Do you see him? Monica Geller : I don't see him. Hey! Maybe he's in the sugar bowl! Joey? Nope! Rachel Green : Well, at least you make each other laugh. Monica Geller : What's up? Rachel Green : Well, I haven't seen him since that night that he told me how he y'know... I don't know, I think he's avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor? Monica Geller : We were playing a game. Rachel Green : Ew, was Chandler naked? Sort of like a, like a ring toss kind of situation? Monica Geller : Sure. Chandler Bing : What?! No! No! Rachel Green : All right. Well listen, if you see Joey will you just tell him uh...tell him I miss him. Monica Geller : Okay, did you hear that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, a naked bagel game? Dude, I don't know. That's a pretty small hole. Monica Geller : Honey, you gotta talk to her. Joey Tribbiani : I can't! Y'know? You guys don't know what it's like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down. Chandler Bing : I don't know what that's like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!" Monica Geller : Hello? No rejection? I got shot down at fat camp! Boy, kids are mean when they're hungry. Joey Tribbiani : All right so, so what do I do? Monica Geller : This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know it's weird, it's awkward, but you gotta at least try. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Okay. Whoa! I almost forgot this was on your... Chandler Bing : We didn't play it!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so when you're done with your tea I'll look at your leaves and tell you your fortune. Chandler Bing : I didn't know you read tea leaves. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, I've done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Y'know, and-and y'know, one of the great joys of life is it's-it's wondrous unpredictability. Y'know? And also tea tends to give me the trots. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm done. Read mine. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Ooh, I see a ladder. Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death. Monica Geller : I-I'm the head chef. I-I can't get promoted. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, who's next? Rachel Green : Okay, I'm done. Do mine. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle. Rachel Green : Ah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Which can either mean you're having a baby or you're gonna make a scientific discovery! Rachel Green : Well, I have been spending a lot of time in the lab. Chandler Bing : What does yours say Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Umm... Wow, all right. Wow! Yay! Ooh, I'm gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And he's gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. Ross Geller : Hey! Has anyone seen my shirt? It's a button down, like a, like a faded salmon? Monica Geller : You mean your pink shirt? Ross Geller : Faded salmon color. Monica Geller : No, I-I haven't seen your pink shirt. Ross Geller : Great! Great. Then I must've left it at Mona's. I knew it! Chandler Bing : Well, I'm sure you get another one at Ann Taylor's. Ross Geller : That's my favorite shirt! Okay? I love that shirt! Rachel Green : Well just ask Mona to give it back! Ross Geller : I don't know. I mean I-I guess I could. It's just that we didn't really end things such good terms. And if I go over there I'd be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait a second you guys...for the last couple weeks I've been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe he's the tea guy. Chandler Bing : Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean? Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Monica Geller : Tea gives Phoebe the trots. Rachel Green : So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but it's not even like we know how to be with each other anymore. Chandler Bing : I know it's tough now, but things will get better. Rachel Green : How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we can't even be in the same room with each other?! Chandler Bing : I'm not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese? Monica Geller : Honey, what is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Kat Stevens case? Chandler Bing : Let's just say if I can't find the right CD case I just put it in the nearest one. Monica Geller : Okay, where is the Kat Stevens CD? Chandler Bing : In the James Taylor case. Monica Geller : Where is the James Taylor CD? Chandler Bing : Honey, I'm gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case. Monica Geller : Okay. No need to panic. Deep breathes everyone. Okay umm uh, we're just gonna have to spend some time and put the CDs in the right cases. Chandler Bing : Well, if we're gonna do that we should come up with some kind of order. Y'know alphabetically or by genre? Monica Geller : Hmm, I don't know. We really have to talk this through. Rachel Green : Oh my God!! You guys have such problems!! I feel so terrible for you! Monica Geller : Okay, I-I'm sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. That makes sense. Monica Geller : Yeah, like I don't know, maybe you have a work problem that you need his advice on. Rachel Green : Ooh, I can do that. Monica Geller : Good. Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really? Chandler Bing : They were just giving those away at the store in exchange for money. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi. Monica Geller : Uh I really don't know what to tell you Rach, I really don't. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Yeah Joey she's...Rachel's got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! Y'know what, if we're gonna make dinner we're gonna have to leave. Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : So you uh, have a...big work problem? Rachel Green : Yeah it's umm... Yeah it's uh... It-it's y'know-It's nothing. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Okay. So uh, I think I'm gonna take off. Rachel Green : Yeah-No wait! Joey no wait it is. It's something. It's-it's umm...it's my boss. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Rachel Green : Yeah, and umm my baby. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Rachel Green : My boss wants to buy my baby! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Oh my-oh my God! Rachel Green : I know I told you, it's a really big problem. Joey Tribbiani : What he wants to buy your baby?! Rachel Green : Can you believe that?! Joey Tribbiani : That's crazy! Rachel Green : That's what I told him! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, how did this even happen? Rachel Green : Well I'll tell ya! See uh my-my boss and his wife-They-they can't have children. So umm, and that-we were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby." Joey Tribbiani : Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave. Rachel Green : Ohh! Yeah! Yeah that-that would've been a much simpler problem. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hello. Guy : Oh, it's you. I see you everywhere. I'm Jim, Jim Nelson. Phoebe Buffay : Oh Jim, Jim Nelson I'm Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately. Jim : We have. Maybe we'll be seeing each other at dinner tomorrow night, say around 8 o'clock? Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe we will. Oh! Ross Geller : Mona? Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? Mona : I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt. Mona's Date : Oh, it's okay. Mona : No, it's still wet. Y'know what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. Mona's Date : Oh umm, I-I don't know if I want to wear a woman's shirt. Mona : No-no that's a man's shirt. Mona's Date : It's awfully pink. Chandler Bing : Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack. Monica Geller : Honey, both yours. Rachel Green : Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing! Monica Geller : Yeah? The work problem? Rachel Green : Oh it was perfect! I mean it really felt like he was my friend again. Chandler Bing : What problem did you tell him you had? Rachel Green : Oh that's not important. The point is, I really-I think everything's gonna be okay. Mr. Zelner : May I help you? Joey Tribbiani : Do you think you can just buy my friends baby?! Phoebe Buffay : Isn't it funny how we kept running into each other? It's as if someone really wants us to be together. Jim : Someone does. Me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, witty banter. Well done. Jim : So, tell me a little bit about yourself. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay, well I'm a masseuse, and I used to work at this place... Jim : Do you like to party? Phoebe Buffay : I-I-I like, I like parties. Jim : You're wild, aren't ya? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I guess, a little. Jim : It ain't no thing, I'm wild too. Phoebe Buffay : So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for umm-Well since I was fourteen. Jim : I'm sorry. I'm staring. It's just that you have the most beautiful eyes. Phoebe Buffay : Oh stop it. Jim : And your breasts! Hmm!!! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Umm look, you're coming on a little strong. But I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why don't we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself. Jim : All right. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Jim : I write erotic novels, for children. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Jim : They're wildly unpopular. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Jim : Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! You do? Jim : Yeah, a Pretty Huge... Phoebe Buffay : All right. Chandler Bing : The sun'll come out...tomorrow! Bet...your bottom dollar that tomorrow... ...there'll be sun. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot. Joey Tribbiani : Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guy's not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Let's just say I took care of it. Rachel Green : Whoa-whoa-whoa, let's say more! Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry! Don't worry. I just told him, very nicely, "You don't go buying people's babies, so back off!!" Rachel Green : What?! Chandler Bing : What?! Rachel Green : No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesn't want to buy my baby! I made that up! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Why?! Rachel Green : So that we would have something to talk about! So it wouldn't be awkward! Joey Tribbiani : And you couldn't think of anything else?! Monica Geller : You said your boss wants to buy your baby?! Rachel Green : I can't believe that you yelled at my boss! I'm-I'm gonna lose my job! What am I going to do?! Chandler Bing : You can always sell your baby. Rachel Green : Oh Joey, I can't believe you brought my boss into this! I'm gonna get fired! Joey Tribbiani : You lied to me! Rachel Green : Well, she told me too! Monica Geller : Chandler has two copies of Annie! Mona : Oh my God! Ross!!! Ross Geller : Hello!! Mona : Ross, what are you doing?! Ross Geller : Not touching myself if that makes anyone less uncomfortable. Rachel Green : Morning. You wanted to see me? Mr. Zelner : Please, come in. Have a seat. Rachel Green : Okay look Mr. Zelner... Mr. Zelner : Oh I think it's best that I speak first. Rachel Green : Yeah. Mr. Zelner : I've asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation. Rachel Green : Oh God. Mr. Zelner : If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby...I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase. Rachel Green : Well, as long as we are clear about that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh there it is. Monica Geller : That's not your regular dry cleaners. Phoebe Buffay : I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store... Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and that's what they gave me? When I get up there I'm going to kick some ass. Monica Geller : Don't worry Phoebe, you're gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, we both can. And we both will. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you didn't have to come in with me. Monica Geller : Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. I'm-I'm gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Guy : Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s... Wow! Phoebe Buffay : What? Guy : I'm sorry, it's just that you're so incredibly beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah well, I'm sorry about that too, but what are you going to do? Guy : I hope you don't think I'm crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing? Phoebe Buffay : A little. Now you're talking. Guy : Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee? Phoebe Buffay : I-I-I'd love to. Let me just tell my friend. Monica Geller : Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out? Phoebe Buffay : She must've left. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : So? What-what-what happened? Rachel Green : It's all gonna be okay. They're just so happy that I'm not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear. Chandler Bing : Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show they're not in the baby buying business. Rachel Green : Chandler, can you give us a minute? Chandler Bing : Oh I'm sorry, you're kicking me out of my own living room? Rachel Green : Yeah. Chandler Bing : I'll be in there. Rachel Green : Joey, I'm really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things... Joey Tribbiani : I know. I know. Rachel Green : It kinda worked. I mean y'know, I don't know about you buy I haven't thought about our thing since all this. Joey Tribbiani : Hey you're right. Yeah, it's kinda been like us again a little bit. Rachel Green : Yeah I know! I miss that. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. I mean I...haven't thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didn't feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward. Rachel Green : My gynecologist tried to kill me. Ross Geller : Item J437-A, color: winterberry. Hi umm, listen come here, come in. I'm so-so sorry about yesterday. I-I'm really sorry. It's just that I... Mona : Listen Ross, you don't have to apologize. I understand why you were there. Ross Geller : You do? Mona : Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we can't. It's too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just... It just wasn't meant to be. Ross Geller : Oh God you're right. Mona : Ross, we...we have to be strong. Okay, I-I'm gonna go. Can I? To remember you? Ross Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parent's anniversary party? Monica Geller : Yeah. Ross Geller : Sure. Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : So, who's the guy? Phoebe Buffay : Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners. Chandler Bing : Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? Who said that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, he's really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am. Monica Geller : Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year? Ross Geller : Uh, yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'd really like to. Ross Geller : Okay, hopefully this time mom won't boo you. Monica Geller : Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and it's always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year I'm going to make them cry. Chandler Bing : And you wonder why Ross is their favorite? Monica Geller : No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what they'll say this year? "God, you" Joey Tribbiani : Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. I'm an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. Monica Geller : Really you can do that? Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me? Watch! Well I can't do it with you guys watching me! Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Monica Geller : Oh I'm working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. Chandler Bing : It's a dog. Monica Geller : It's a dead dog. That's Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school. Chandler Bing : It's your parents' anniversary and you're going to talk about their dead pet? Monica Geller : The good stuff, huh? Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : You got a present for my parents. That's so sweet. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them. Ross Geller : Aww that is so cool. Joey Tribbiani : And I got them a book on Karma Sutra for the elderly. Rachel Green : Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon? Chandler Bing : Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, and I think my testacles may be in here too. Ross Geller : Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Y'know Monica couldn't get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery. Monica Geller : What?! Ross Geller : You were the 200-pound 11-year-old who rode her! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! #ALL# : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is... Parker : No, no, no wait! Don't tell me. Let me guess. Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, I'm sorry Phoebe didn't mention you. Chandler, I'm kidding all ready you're my favorite! Chandler Bing : Ha! Parker : Why don't all of you tell me a little about your self? Ross Geller : Ah, actually, I'm sorry we-we probably should get going. Parker : Classic Ross. Rachel, Rachel, oh how you glow. May I? Rachel Green : I, uh, think you already are. Parker : Rachel, you have life growing inside you. Is there anything in this world more miraculous than-Oh a picture of a dog! Whose is this? Monica Geller : That's my old dog. He passed away years ago. Parker : Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So where's the party? Monica Geller : It's out on the island. It's in Massapequa. Parker : Maaaassapequa, Sounds Like A Magical Place. Tell Me About Massapequa, Is It Steep In Native American History? Ross Geller : Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a tee-pee. Monica Geller : Okay, I got my note cards. Do you got the presents? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : And I've got the car keys. Parker : We're driving!? Monica Geller : Yeah. Parker : Aces! Ross Geller : So uh, he seems like a nice guy. Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah I like him a lot. Ross Geller : Ya wanna hang back and take our own cab? Rachel Green : Yeah, otherwise I'm not going. Jack Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi! Hey mom. Rachel Green : This is such a great party! 35 years. Very impressive, do you guys have any pearls of wisdom? Judy Geller : Jack? Jack Geller : Why would you serve food on such a sharp stick? Ross Geller : That's a good question, dad. That's a good question... Rachel Green : Hmmm.... Woman : Congratulations you two! Rachel Green : Thank you...we're so excited! Woman : And also, congratulations on your wedding. Ross Geller : Wha-What? Judy Geller : Can we talk to you for just a y'know... It's just a little thing. Well we think it's absolutely marvelous that you're having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why we've told them all that you're married. Rachel Green : What?! Judy Geller : Thanks for going along with this. Ross Geller : Dad so what we have to pretend that we're married? Jack Geller : Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this. Ross Geller : Can you believe that? Rachel Green : Yeah, if you're going to do the ears, you might as well take a pass at the nosal area. Ross Geller : No, us having to lie about being married. Rachel Green : No, I know I don't either, but ya know what, it's their party, and it's just one night. And we don't even have to lie; we just won't say anything. If it comes up again, we'll just...smile. We'll nod along. Woman : Ross! Man : Rachel! Ross Geller : Hi Aunt Lisa, Uncle Dan. Aunt Lisa : Congratulations on the baby, and on the wedding! Rachel Green : Hmmmm.... Uncle Dan : Here's a little something to get you started. Rachel Green : Oh... Aunt Lisa : So, how's married life treating you? Rachel Green : Unbelievable! Ross Geller : We love marriage! Aunt Lisa : Great! Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Parker : What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C...I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I don't want to forget this moment! It's like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! Chandler Bing : I don't think the flash went off. Parker : Dahaaa! I'm going to find the men's room, be right back. Phoebe Buffay : I'll go with you Parker : Come on! Chandler Bing : Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man. Joey Tribbiani : I have to go to the bathroom too, but I don't want him complimenting my thing. Ross Geller : I'm so we weren't in the car! Did he ever let up? Monica Geller : He called the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle. Ross Geller : This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! Ooh sorry... Phoebe Buffay : Were you guys making fun of Parker? Ross Geller : That depends, how much did you hear? Phoebe Buffay : So, he a little enthusiastic, what's wrong with that? Monica Geller : It's just that, it's so much. Phoebe Buffay : Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people you've dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends don't do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? 'Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the who's who of human crap. Monica Geller : I feel terrible. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Ross Geller : What was wrong with Mona? Rachel Green : Open it! Open it! Open it! Ross Geller : Yeah baby! Man : So we never got to hear about your wedding! Woman : We were surprise that we weren't invited. Ross Geller : No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding. Rachel Green : But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular. Man : Where did you have it? Rachel Green : On a cliff, in Barbados, at sunset, and Stevie Wonder sang Isn't She Lovely as I walked down the aisle. Woman : Really? Rachel Green : Yeah, Stevie's an old family friend. Woman : Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures. Rachel Green : So would I. You wouldn't think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera. Ross Geller : Would you excuse us for a second? Umm.... what are you doing? Rachel Green : What? I'm not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing. Ross Geller : Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley. Rachel Green : Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic. Parker : Are you okay? You seem kind of quiet. Phoebe Buffay : No, I'm fine. I'm great. I'm with you. Parker : And I'm with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. What an inspired solution to man's plate dispensing problems. Phoebe Buffay : Hm huh, yeah. Parker : Ah! Oysters! Let me feed you one. Phoebe Buffay : No, that's not necessary. Parker : Please. Phoebe Buffay : No, actually I don't eat... Parker : I won't quit until you try. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, fine! Fine! Mmm...hmmmmm.... Parker : What are they like? I've never had one. Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you just try one? Parker : No, they look too weird. Chandler Bing : What are you doin'? Monica Geller : Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit 'em. I can't wait. They're going to be crying so hard. They're going to be fighting for breath. Chandler Bing : Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could . Rachel Green : And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns. Woman : Blind? Rachel Green : Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it. Aunt Lisa : I'll bet you looked beautiful... Rachel Green : Well, I don't know about that, but some said that I looked like a floating angel. Woman : So, how did you propose? Rachel Green : Oh yeah. That's a great story. Ross Geller : Well, um, actually, I-I took her to the planetarium. That's-that's where we had our first date. Um, she walked in and I had the room filled with lilies, her favorite flower... Aunt Lisa : Oh that is so sweet! Rachel Green : Shhh! I want to hear the rest! Ross Geller : Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?" Rachel Green : And the ring, was the size of my fist ! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parker's a nice guy and I'd like to get to know him. Phoebe Buffay : Then you better do it now. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because I'm going to kill him Joey Tribbiani : What-what? Phoebe Buffay : You guys were right. He's just too excited about...everything. I mean I'm all for living life, but this is the Geller's 35th anniversary. Okay? Let's call a spade a spade this party stinks. Joey Tribbiani : I know I'm having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger! Phoebe Buffay : Are you sure it wasn't an oyster? Joey Tribbiani : I guess it could've been, I didn't really look at it. Y'know, I just wiped it on Chandler's coat and got the hell out of there. Phoebe Buffay : He's just such a great guy I'm so excited about him. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, you should be excited about him. There's nothing wrong with him he's a good guy. Phoebe Buffay : You think? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ya know what I think; I think we were all just being too negative. Phoebe Buffay : You're right. You're right, he's just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! I'm a sunny, positive person. Joey Tribbiani : Actually, you have a little bit of an edge. Phoebe Buffay : What's that now? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing... Phoebe Buffay : Oh look it's Parker! Parker : Look! It's the bunny hop! Phoebe Buffay : Oooh I love it! Parker : You do?! Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on! Monica Geller : Okay it's time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year I'm going to do it. Monica Geller : No, no it's going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably don't say it enough, but I love you. When I look around this room, I'm-I'm saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she can't because she's dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. . Was. Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember she's dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? Didn't see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. You people are made of stone! Here's to mom and dad! Whatever! Judy Geller : Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasn't it interesting, Jack? Jack Geller : Why don't I remember this dog? Judy Geller : Ross, why don't you give us your toast now? Ross Geller : Oh, no, Mom, it's just Monica this year. Judy Geller : You're not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary? Ross Geller : No, of course, Um... Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say...on behalf of my new bride, Rachel , and myself. Umm, that if...if in 35 years, we're half as happy as you guys are, we'll count ourselves the luckiest people in the world. Judy Geller : Oh Ross... Jack Geller : I just wish Nana were alive to hear Ross's toast. Parker : My God what a fantastically well lit hallway! Phoebe Buffay : Can I get you something to drink? Like a water and Valium? Parker : I must say this apartment, its, its, There are no words... Phoebe Buffay : Oh thank God. Parker : It's a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why don't we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly! Parker : That sounds great. My God this is the most comfortable couch I've ever sat on in my entire life. Phoebe Buffay : Let's try something else, let's play a game. Parker : I love games! Phoebe Buffay : Shocking! Let's play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. Parker : Or...Jenga. Phoebe Buffay : But, let's play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses! Parker : I lose, now Jenga. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Oh my God! Parker : Is something wrong? Phoebe Buffay : Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical? Everything isn't a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker! Parker : Well, excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam! Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to put a good spin on everything. Parker : I'm sorry that's who I am. I'm a positive person. Phoebe Buffay : No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid! Parker : So what do you want me to do, you want me to be more negative, less happy? Phoebe Buffay : Much less happy! Parker : Fine! Well then to quote Ross, "I'd better be going." Phoebe Buffay : So long! Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! Parker : Isn't this the most incredible fight you've ever had in your entire life? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh. Ross Geller : ...and then, we could've gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar! Rachel Green : Ross, it just wouldn't have been feasible. Ross Geller : But having a dove place the ring on your finger would've been no problem? Rachel Green : It was really fun being married to you tonight. Ross Geller : Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks I've ever made. Rachel Green : Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : That proposal, at the planetarium... Ross Geller : I know, I know it was stupid. Rachel Green : Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was...really wonderful! Did you just make that up? Ross Geller : No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. It's how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me. Rachel Green : Well, that would've been very hard to say no too. Ross Geller : It's a good thing I didn't do it, because it sounds like it would've been a very expensive wedding. Okay, good night. Rachel Green : Goodnight. Ross Geller : Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldn't get messed up? Rachel Green : I will think about it. Ross Geller : That's all I'm askin'. Monica Geller : Okay that's it. I give up. At mom and dad's 40th anniversary, you're the one giving the speech. Ross Geller : Y'know I don't understand why they didn't cry. It was a beautiful speech. Monica Geller : Oh, come on. Ross Geller : Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really would've wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was. Monica Geller : Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it? Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : So, I'm in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. Joey Tribbiani : Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. That's me!! I'm blank!! Monica Geller : How cool is this?! We know three down! I'm touching three down! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah you are baby. Monica Geller : Three down knows I'm married, what's three down doin'? Rachel Green : So did they call you to tell you your name's gonna be in this? Joey Tribbiani : No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no. Ross Geller : Why'd you say no? Joey Tribbiani : Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time. Chandler Bing : If only there was something in your head to control the things you say. Rachel Green : Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus y'know the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I don't know, gal pal Rachel Green? Chandler Bing : Is that gal pal spelled L-O-S-E-R? Rachel Green : Okay, don't listen to him. Please? Joey Tribbiani : Fine! All right, I'll do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I y'know, start to say something stupid. Ross Geller : Just then or-or all the time, 'cause we-we have jobs y'know. Rachel Green : Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. Ha-ha! I'm gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. Seriously, proud of you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. The Interviewer : I really appreciate you taking the time to do this. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, not at all. Happy to do it. Monica Geller : You think we're being obvious? Chandler Bing : No, we're just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. The Interviewer : Y'know I think its great you wanted to meet here. Y'know when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant. Joey Tribbiani : Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldn't have mattered, I'm doing this for the fans, not for the free food. Gunther : Can I get you anything? The Interviewer : Umm, I'll have a cup of coffee. Joey Tribbiani : And I'll have all the muffins. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Shhh! We're not talking. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Finally! Oh. The Interviewer : So, according to your bio, you've done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives. Anything you're particularly proud of? Joey Tribbiani : All you want is a dingle/What you envy's a schwang/A thing through which you can tinkle/Or play with, or simply let hang... Host : Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you said it Mike. Aw! There's got to be a better way! Mike : And there is Kevin. Mike : This is the first time he's ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead. This works with any milk carton. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, it is easy. Now, I can have milk everyday. Lauren : So this is it? Victor? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess it is. And so... I'm gonna get on this spaceship, and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, you'll be long gone. But I won't have aged at all. So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne... baby...I'm gonna want to meet her. Joey Tribbiani : Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do...so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, you know that's bad for the paper tray. Chandler Bing : Nice work my friend. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Wait-wait-wait-wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am... Joey Tribbiani : Well, there are so many things, it's hard to pick just one. Phoebe Buffay : I'm gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I'd actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea. Ross Geller : Uh, double latte, extra foam. Chandler Bing : And a bagel with only... Phoebe Buffay : I was just being polite! The Interviewer : Okay, how about when you're not working. What do you do in your spare time? Joey Tribbiani : Look at this clown! Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way jackass! Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway? Rachel Green : That is the Coast Guard. Joey Tribbiani : What are they doing out here? The coast's all the way over there. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! What are yo-you trying to kill me?! Chandler Bing : Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much? Ross Geller : Come on, it's fun! Chandler Bing : All right! Isn't this a woman's hat? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea! Chandler Bing : Y'know what, we have to turn off the porn. Joey Tribbiani : I think you're right. Chandler Bing : All right, ready? Joey Tribbiani : One. Chandler Bing : Two. Both : Three. Joey Tribbiani : That's kinda nice. Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's kinda a relief. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You wanna see if we still have it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : FREE PORN!!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : We have free porn here!!! Joey Tribbiani : In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And I'm also a mento for the kids. Y'know a mento, a role model. The Interviewer : A mento... Joey Tribbiani : Right. The Interviewer : Like the candy? Joey Tribbiani : Matter of fact, I do. The Interviewer : Well umm, another thing our readers always want to know is how our soap stars stay in such great shape. Do you have some kind of fitness regime? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, we stars just try to eat right and get lots of exercise. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour? Ross Geller : Are you serious?! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it. Ross Geller : Wow! We are pretty good at this! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! We totally forgot about lunch! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! Yeah, my pants are a little loose! Chandler Bing : What's wrong with you? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, haven't been able to stand up since. But um, I don't think it's anything serious. Chandler Bing : This sounds like a hernia. You have to-you-you-Go to the doctor! Joey Tribbiani : No way! 'Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! Why did I have to start working out again? Damn you 15s! Rachel Green : It's a trifle. It's got all of these layers. First there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauted with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! Ross Geller : It tastes like feet! Joey Tribbiani : I like it. Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Joey Tribbiani : What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood. Joey Tribbiani : The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes-Hey, what was in that brown jar? Chandler Bing : That's still in there?! Joey Tribbiani : Not anymore. Rachel Green : Oh! Yay! Look! There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it! Chandler Bing : Stick to your side! Rachel Green : Hey, come on now! Joey Tribbiani : All right, what are we havin'? Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, I don't believe in these crazy diets y'know, just everything in moderation. Gunther : Your muffins. Joey Tribbiani : I'll take those to go. For the kids. The Interviewer : Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there? Joey Tribbiani : It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldn't have said. But believe me, that's not gonna happen today. The Interviewer : Understood. So, what'd you say back then? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I said that I... Joey Tribbiani : You guys, this is Shelley, she's interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends... Rachel Green : Hi! I'm gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, I'm the one you come too. This might be Joey's baby , who knows? I'm just kidding-Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green. Ross Geller : Who just lost the respect of her unborn child. The Interviewer : Umm, I'm gonna just go get this warmed up. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Joey! You're doing great! Ross Geller : Yeah, so far nothing stupid. Chandler Bing : Mento? Joey Tribbiani : No thanks. The Interviewer : So, as Joey's friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know? Ross Geller : Uh no, no just-just that he is a great guy. Rachel Green : Yeah, that's gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I......I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives. Phoebe Buffay : Umm, I...I just think you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet. The Interviewer : Oh! I like that. What's your name? Phoebe Buffay : Umm, Phoebe Buffay. The Interviewer : How do you spell that? So we can get it right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay, it's P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in 'Ello there mate! The Interviewer : Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you. Ross Geller : Yeah, you too. Rachel Green : You too! Chandler Bing : Thanks. Monica Geller : Bye. The Interviewer : So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend? Joey Tribbiani : How come you have two? Chandler Bing : Well this one's for you. Joey Tribbiani : Get out. Chandler Bing : No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, it's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler Bing : That's what they'll call us. Rachel Green : Oh, Joey! Sorry! Joey Tribbiani : No that's all right. Don't worry about it. Rachel Green : Oh but look! That's gonna leave a stain! Joey Tribbiani : Rach! Hey! It's fine! You're at Joey's! Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Look! Rachel Green : I've never lived like this before. Joey Tribbiani : I know. Joey Tribbiani : All right, don't waste it, I mean its still food. Ross Geller : All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. And they're off! Phoebe Buffay : Get your foot off my contestant! Judge! Joey Tribbiani : Judge rules, no violation. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Joey Tribbiani : And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter! Phoebe Buffay : No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton! Joey Tribbiani : Judge rules, Nutter-Butter. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh, tough call. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : I'd seen this thing on The Discovery Channel... Ross Geller : Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?! Phoebe Buffay : Ewwww!! Monica Geller : You can't say that!! You-you don't know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldn't...bend that way. So... Phoebe Buffay : Ewwww!! Joey Tribbiani : That's right I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I'd pee on anyone of you! Joey Tribbiani : Umm, no. No best friend, no. Just a lot of close friends. The Interviewer : So umm, now back to the show. How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base? Joey Tribbiani : Really? Me? Wow! I don't even know any huge gay people! Chandler Bing : It hurts me. It physically hurts me. The Interviewer : Now, off the record, you're not... Joey Tribbiani : What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book! Ross Geller : Your make-up! Ross Geller : Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so we're face to face or-or should I climb down your back so we're-we're butt to face. Joey Tribbiani : I think face to face. Ross Geller : I would say that. Joey Tribbiani : Face to face, yeah! Ross Geller : Okay, here I go. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my... How much do you weigh Ross?! Ross Geller : I prefer not to answer that right now, I'm still carrying a little holiday weight. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, when we talked about face to face, I don't think we thought it all the way through. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Check it out. How much of a man am I?! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut. Chandler Bing : You're turning into a woman. Joey Tribbiani : No I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean. Chandler Bing : Now I've upset you? What did I say? Joey Tribbiani : It's not what you said. It's the way you said it... Oh My God, I'm a woman!!! Joey Tribbiani : Great nap. Ross Geller : It really was. Joey Tribbiani : Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. The Interviewer : So, let's talk about women. I'm sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin'?" Phoebe Buffay : Oh, please! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how you doin'? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How you doin'? Woman : He has the most amazing Porsche under there! Joey Tribbiani : I'd love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping. Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? Woman : Hi, is Rachel here? I'm her sister. Rachel Green : Oh my God, Jill! Jill Green : Oh my God, Rachel! Chandler Bing : Oh my God, introduce us! Rachel Green : This is Chandler. Jill Green : Hi! Rachel Green : And you know Monica and Ross! Ross Geller : Hi Jill. Rachel Green : And that's Phoebe , and that's Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, how you doin'? Rachel Green : Don't!! Janine : No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on. Janine : I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I do. How you doin? Janine : I'm okay. Joey Tribbiani : What?!?! Oh dear God! Joey Tribbiani : Not much to tell there I'm really shy. The Interviewer : So, that's it. I guess that's all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month. Joey Tribbiani : Oh great! Great! Thank you. The Interviewer : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : Bye-bye. I did it! Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Amazing! Amazing! The Interviewer : Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, what's your favorite soap opera? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, y'know? The Interviewer : Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest will be happy to hear that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, good to know. So close! Rachel Green : Wow! I can't believe they didn't put it in the part where you said you didn't watch soap operas. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that. Monica Geller : You slept with her didn't you? Joey Tribbiani : Little bit, yeah. Ross Geller : Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, that's just a little something for my huge gay fan base. Ross Geller : Did you just wink at me? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're the one that loves the picture. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : So what's the final head count on my baby shower? Phoebe Buffay : About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do. Monica Geller : Also both of your sisters called and neither can make it. Rachel Green : What?! You mean they're not coming to a social event where there's no men and there's no booze?! That's shocking! I don't care, as long as my mom's here. Monica Geller : Oh my God, your mother! Rachel Green : What?! My mom's not gonna be here?! Monica Geller : Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was. Rachel Green : My God! Monica Geller : Well it wasn't my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations! Phoebe Buffay : Well I don't, I don't have a mother so often I forget that other people... Monica Geller : Oh give it a rest! Rachel Green : So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?! Phoebe Buffay : No. Neither is mine. Monica Geller : Okay, y'know what? Don't worry, okay? We'll take care of it. We'll call her. Just go home and get ready. Rachel Green : Please, make sure she comes. It's really important to me, I mean it's my mom! Phoebe Buffay : I know. I know, what's her number? Rachel Green : I don't know. Monica Geller : Go! I have it in my book. Go! Wait a minute! If you're in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call her-Hello Mrs. Green! Hi, it's Monica Geller. Sandra Green : Oh, hello Monica. Monica Geller : Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but we've decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today. Sandra Green : I know, my daughter's told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago. Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm-I'm so sorry. Sandra Green : For what dear? For not inviting me or lying about it? Monica Geller : Oh my God, my ass is sweating! Please! Please! Can you come? It's today at four. Sandra Green : Well all right. I'll see you at four. Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Isn't it at three? Monica Geller : Son of a bitch! Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! You wanna shoot some hoops? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, I can't go. I'm practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show. Ross Geller : Oh cool! Chandler Bing : That's great. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-yeah, and if I get it by day I'll Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night I'll be Joey Trrrribbiani! Chandler Bing : You'll be perfect for this! That's already your name! Joey Tribbiani : But the audition's in a couple hours and I don't even understand the game. Ross Geller : Well do you want some help? Joey Tribbiani : Oh really? That'd be great! You guys can be the contestants! Ross Geller : Awesome! Chandler Bing : Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Let's play Bamboozled! Chandler Bing : Bamboozled? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, isn't that a cool name? Ross Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : No! Joey Tribbiani : All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why don't you tell us a little something about you Ross? Ross Geller : Well uh, I-I'm a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! And uh... Joey Tribbiani : I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler? Chandler Bing : Well Joey, I'm a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. Hi Rasputin! Joey Tribbiani : Excellent! Let's play Bamboozled! Chandler, you'll go first. What is the capital of Columbia? Chandler Bing : Bogota. Joey Tribbiani : It's Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card. Chandler Bing : What does a Wicked Wango card do? Joey Tribbiani : I should know that. Let's see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wango card determines whether you go higher or lower. Chandler Bing : Higher or lower than what? Joey Tribbiani : This is embarrassing. Chandler Bing : Can you believe how lame this is? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I don't believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. That's good right? Monica Geller : You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate! Phoebe Buffay : What? He's gonna be dressed as a baby! Oh hi Mrs. Green! Monica Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : I'm so glad you could make it. Monica Geller : Yes, thank you so much. And again, we're so sorry. We could not feel worse about it. Sandra Green : Try. There's my little girl. Monica Geller : She's still mad. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I know. Isn't it great? One less person we have to make small talk with. Monica Geller : Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too. It-it doesn't bother you? Phoebe Buffay : No look, we've apologized twice! I can't do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it. Monica Geller : Okay. I can do that. I gotta go powder my ass. Sandra Green : Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didn't know better I'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, let's get some tea. Rachel Green : Okay. Sandra Green : Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I don't want you to use your housekeeper 'cause it would just split her focus. Rachel Green : Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I don't even have a housekeeper. Sandra Green : It's like you're a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You don't know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay. Rachel Green : Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. Sandra Green : Such a sweet woman. Rachel Green : Well, however great she was I just can't afford that. Sandra Green : Oh Rachel! Rachel Green : What? Sandra Green : I just had the greatest idea! I'm gonna come live with you! Rachel Green : Wh-wh-what? What? Sandra Green : Oh, I'm so happy I'm gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes. Rachel Green : Yes. Yes I do. Joey Tribbiani : All right Ross you're in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem? Ross Geller : The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, I'll take another question. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath. Ross Geller : It's okay, I'm ready. Joey Tribbiani : No dude, you gotta hold your breath until you're ready to answer the question. Chandler Bing : This is ridiculous, he's not gonna hold his breath... Joey Tribbiani : Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris...Holy cow, that's a big word. Trisc... Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that? Chandler Bing : Let me see that. Joey Tribbiani : This one right here. Chandler Bing : Triscadecaphobia. Ross Geller : The fear of Triscuts! Joey Tribbiani : No! No, fear of the number 13. Chandler Bing : Fear of Triscuts? Ross Geller : It's possible, they have really sharp edges. Joey Tribbiani : All right Chandler, you're up. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, I-I believe I'm entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn? Chandler Bing : This game makes no sense! Ross Geller : Y'know what? You're just upset because you're losing. Chandler Bing : Oh come on Ross, I think we're all losers here. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Chandler, you can either spin the wheel or pick a Google card. Chandler Bing : Let me think. Let me think-Oh! I don't care. Joey Tribbiani : You-you must choose Mr. Bing. Chandler Bing : Either, it makes no difference. Joey Tribbiani : Choose, you jackass! Chandler Bing : I'll take a card. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, you picked the Gimmie card! You get all of Ross's points! Ross Geller : What?! Chandler Bing : This game is kinda fun. Ross Geller : You don't think it's a little crazy that you get all my points just 'cause you... Chandler Bing : I don't think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other. Rachel Green : Why did you invite my mother?! Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby. Phoebe Buffay : For how long? Rachel Green : Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing. Monica Geller : I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me. Phoebe Buffay : She can't hear you. Rachel Green : What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do? Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you don't want your mother to move in with you, just tell her. Rachel Green : You're right. You're right. I mean I'm about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I don't want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! She's gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen! Monica Geller : That's right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you don't want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer! Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : This is great! Now she's gonna be mad at Rachel! Y'know what? And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had. Phoebe Buffay : I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! It's time to open the presents! Monica Geller : Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because you're the most important person in this room. And in the world! Sandra Green : Well uh, I don't have a gift because I wasn't invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyone's attention. Phoebe Buffay : How about you less important people, let's open your presents! Rachel Green : Mom that's okay that you didn't get you a gift! Sandra Green : Well, I kinda did. Me. Eight weeks of me. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own. Sandra Green : Sweetheart I know you're gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning. Rachel Green : But mom, I really know what I'm doing. I can handle this. Sandra Green : Really? Remember Twinkles? Rachel Green : He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, come on Rach it's present time! Y'know you're the glue that's holding this whole party together. It's kinda falling apart here. Sandra Green : Oh look. Rachel Green : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, this is from your friend at work. Rachel Green : Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! Wait a minute. That can't be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby? Sandra Green : Darling, that's a breast pump! Rachel Green : Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! What's this? Woman : It's a diaper genie. Rachel Green : Oh, it dispenses clean diapers! Woman : No! It's where you put the dirty ones! Rachel Green : Well that's gross, why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster? Sandra Green : Oh you're gonna do that ten times a day? Rachel Green : What?! It goes ten times a day! What are we feeding this baby?! Indian food?! Sandra Green : No dear, that's what babies do. Monica Geller : Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart. Sandra Green : Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while you're trotting out to the garbage ten times a day? Rachel Green : I don't know, I'd leave it on the changing table? What?! What'd I do? What'd I do?! Sandra Green : You can't leave a baby alone! Rachel Green : Oh come--Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who would-she wouldn't be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Y'know what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, I'm just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful. Woman : It's actually a bassinet. Rachel Green : Okay mommy, don't ever leave me. Joey Tribbiani : In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!" Chandler Bing : Treasure of the Sierra Madre! Joey Tribbiani : Correct! There's a possible backwards bonus! Chandler Bing : Madre Sierra the of Treasure! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Chandler Bing : I'd like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please. Joey Tribbiani : Wise choice, how many rungs? Chandler Bing : Six! Joey Tribbiani : That noise can only me one thing. Chandler Bing : Hungry monkey. Ross Geller : Hungry monkey! Haaa! I'd like a Wicked Wango card! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, it's an audio question, name this television theme song. Ross Geller : Oh. Oh! Oh my God! Okay, I know this, give me-give me a second! Chandler Bing : Tell it to the Time Turtle! Ross Geller : Shut up! I Dream of Genie! Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Yes, you're back in the lead! Ross Geller : I'd like to spin the wheel! Chandler Bing : Oh come on!! Joey Tribbiani : All right! All right! Uh, umm, Super-Speedy Speed round! Ross Geller : Is there a hopping bonus? Joey Tribbiani : Of course! Joey Tribbiani : Who invented bifocals? Ross Geller : Ben Franklin. Joey Tribbiani : Correct! Which monarch has ruled Great Britain the longest? Ross Geller : Queen Victoria. Joey Tribbiani : Correct again! But, you forgot to switch legs between questions, so no hopping bonus! Ross Geller : Noooo!!! Every time!!! Joey Tribbiani : Now, over to Chandler. Chandler Bing : I'd like a Google Card. Joey Tribbiani : Are you sure? Chandler Bing : Yes! No! Google! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, you've been Bamboozled! Chandler Bing : Nooo!! Ross Geller : Yeah!! Chandler Bing : This is the best game ever!!! Rachel Green : So umm, you're gonna stay with me as long as I need you? Sandra Green : Of course I am! Rachel Green : Oh mom, I swear I'm not an idiot. I've read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didn't think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The baby's coming and I don't know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie? Sandra Green : No. Sweetie, you're gonna be fine. Rachel Green : Wait-wait where are you going? Where are you going? Sandra Green : I'm going to the bathroom. Rachel Green : Okay. Sandra Green : Now don't worry! Everything's gonna be okay. Monica Geller : It is going to be okay! It was worth a shot. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty? Ross Geller : I just Bamboozled Chandler! Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower. Phoebe Buffay : Not if you were here. Ross Geller : Wow! It looks like we got a lot of good stuff. Rachel Green : Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all. Ross Geller : A Play-Dough Barber Shop? Rachel Green : No. She's going to live with us for eight weeks. Ross Geller : Uh, what? Rachel Green : Yes! She's gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. Ross Geller : What-You're not serious. I mean she's a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. She'll drive us totally crazy. Sandra Green : Hi Ross! Ross Geller : Hi roomie! Man : Hey Joey, hi! I'm Ray; I'm the producer of the show. Joey Tribbiani : It's a pleasure to meet you Ray. Ray : And this is Duncan and Erin, they're gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, let's get the camera rolling. Joey Tribbiani : Rightie-O Ray! Ray : Whenever you're ready. Joey Tribbiani : Hello, I'm Joey Tribbiani! Let's play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One? Erin : Wayne Gretzky. Joey Tribbiani : Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem? Ray : Uh Joey, didn't your agents give you the revised rules? We've eliminated all of that. No wheel, no cards. Joey Tribbiani : What-Why?! Ray : Uh well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didn't follow it. Joey Tribbiani : Well what's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! You're in Paradise Pond! Ray : Yeah all that's gone. It's basically just a simple question and answer game now. Joey Tribbiani : Well what's fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game that's just people standing around answering questions? Ray : Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores. Joey Tribbiani : Let's play Bamboozled! Sandra Green : ...and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage. Ross Geller : Well we...we don't have a garage. Sandra Green : Did I say garage? I meant garbage. Ross Geller : Y'know what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, it's not absolutely vital that you live with us. Sandra Green : Well Rachel needs help with the baby. Rachel Green : I do. I really do. I don't know anything. Ross Geller : I'm-I'm sure that's not true. Rachel Green : Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies? Phoebe Buffay : No, not a thing. Monica Geller : It's frightening. Ross Geller : Well uh, y'know what? Even if she doesn't know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didn't live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself. Sandra Green : That's true. You do have another child. Ross Geller : Yeah. Sandra Green : With another woman. Have you no control Ross? Ross Geller : That's a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to...to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things. Sandra Green : Well then you really don't need me to live with you. Ross Geller : Yes! Yes, you're gonna be so missed. Sandra Green : You're gonna be a great father. Ross Geller : Well you're gonna be a wonderful grandma. Rachel Green : Hello?! I still don't know what the hell I'm doing! Ross Geller : Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. You'll-you're gonna pick it up. Hey! You will! Uh look, y'know when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddy's credit card. Do you remember? Rachel Green : I hope you're going somewhere with this. Ross Geller : Look at you! What-You're-you're this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt you're gonna be an incredible mother. Rachel Green : Really? Ross Geller : I'm telling you. Rachel Green : Thank you. Sandra Green : All right you two, I'm gonna get going. Ross Geller : Oh. Sandra Green : Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. I'll let myself out. It's like I'm not here, which I almost wasn't. Monica Geller : You're still so funny. You're so funny. What do I do? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and she's been nothing but terrible to you. And don't forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasn't even thanked you for it. Monica Geller : Y'know what? You're-you're right. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, I'd tell her off. Monica Geller : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Monica Geller : Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasn't on purpose! But what you're during to me now is just plain spiteful! Sandra Green : Spiteful?! Monica Geller : That's right! Maybe it's time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady...old lady...lady! Phoebe Buffay : Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up... Monica Geller : So whenever you're ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! I can't feel my legs! Phoebe Buffay : You were fantastic! I'm so proud of you! Monica Geller : Yeah? I'm proud of me too. Phoebe Buffay : You should be! Monica Geller : Yeah could-could-could you get me something to drink? Phoebe Buffay : You got it! Monica Geller : Okay. Mrs. Green! Okay I'm really sorry!! I'm apologizing for the- Okay, I bit my tongue, but I'm still really sorry! Rachel Green : Okay! I'm ready. Ross Geller : You sure? Rachel Green : Yes, I've done my studying and I really know my stuff. Ross Geller : All right then. Rachel Green! Let's play Bamboozled! How do you test the temperature of the baby's bath water? Rachel Green : Uh, put your elbow in it. Ross Geller : Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap? Rachel Green : Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers. Ross Geller : That's correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? Rachel Green : Check if it's wet, check if it's hungry, burp it! Ross Geller : Excellent! Excellent, now-now do you want another question or a Wicked Wango card? Rachel Green : A card! A card! I pick a card! Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry you've been Bamboozled! You're gonna be a terrible mother! I've lost sight of why we're doing this! Ross Geller : Hey you guys I got some bad news. Phoebe Buffay : Well that's no way to sell newspapers. Why don't you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!" Ross Geller : No, Monica's restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. I didn't want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. Joey Tribbiani : Man, this is bad! And I've had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal." Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?! Ross Geller : Umm... Monica Geller : Oh dear God! Ross Geller : But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know. Monica Geller : What about the rest of Manhattan?! Ross Geller : Yeah, they all know. Monica Geller : Oh my God, this is horrible! Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry. Monica Geller : I'm so humiliated! Rachel Green : Yeah but y'know what they say Mon, "There's no such thing as bad press." Monica Geller : You don't think that umm, "The chef's Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press? Rachel Green : I didn't write it. Monica Geller : Is he right? Am I really-Am I awful? #ALL# : No! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And I'm not just saying this because I'm your friend, I'm sayin' it 'cause it's the truth. You're food is abysmal! Rachel Green : Ross! Ross Geller : What?! What? Rachel Green : I am freaking out! Ross Geller : Are ya? Rachel Green : My due date is in one week! Ross Geller : What are you doing up? Rachel Green : That is seven days! Ross Geller : Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after... Rachel Green : No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service! Ross Geller : It's funny you should mention diapers. Rachel Green : I'm serious. Ross Geller : Okay look, there's nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. There's a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay? Rachel Green : Okay. Thank you. That's great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because there's this really cute shoe store that has like this little... Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. If uh, if you're gonna do this, then I'm gonna do that. So... Rachel Green : Oh, wait Ross! I'm sorry, one more thing! Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : Umm, our situation. Y'know umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-we're having this baby together, and we live together. Isn't that, isn't that weird? Ross Geller : Well uh... Rachel Green : I'm just kidding! You can go pee! Monica Geller : Joey! Now that you're here... Joey Tribbiani : Sure, I can hang out 'til I have to meet ya. What uh-How come you're not going? Chandler Bing : I have a job interview I have to get ready for. Joey Tribbiani : I thought you already have a job. Chandler Bing : And people say you don't pay attention. No, this is a much better job. It's vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! How do you know how to do that?! Chandler Bing : That's what I do now. Monica Geller : Hey Joey, come taste this. Joey Tribbiani : What is it? Monica Geller : Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well... I'm getting my revenge! Joey Tribbiani : You cooked him? Monica Geller : No. He Teaches A Course On Food Criticism At The New School, So Before We Go To The Movies I Wanna Go By There And Make Him Try My Bouillabaisse Again. Oh, I Cannot Wait To Read The Front Page Of The Post Tomorrow! "Restaurant Reviewer Admits I was wrong about Monica." Chandler Bing : The front page? You really do live in your own little world, don't ya? Cashier : Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller? Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Oh. Rachel Green : No-no-no! No, no, no, we're not married. Ross Geller : We are having a baby together, but we're not involved. I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. Or, yes stranger, we'd like this delivered please. Cashier : Why don't you fill out this address card. Ross Geller : Oh, okay. Cashier : I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items. Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Actually, that's one of the reasons why we're not a couple. Ross Geller : I chose those, I'm a paleontologist. Cashier : Really?! That is so cool! Rachel Green : Oh. Oh yeah, don't get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not. Cashier : Oh no-no, I'm fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book? Ross Geller : Yeah! I-I teach it in my class. Rachel Green : Oh my God! I'm standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and I'm bored. Cashier : Oh, I love your neighborhood. There's a great gym right around the corner from your building. Ross Geller : That's my gym. Cashier : I can tell you work out. A paleontologist who works out, you're like Indiana Jones. Ross Geller : I am like Indiana Jones. Rachel Green : Hi Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go? Rachel Green : Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasn't on the list. A whore. Phoebe Buffay : What?! Rachel Green : Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him. Phoebe Buffay : Well did she know you two weren't married? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Well the idea of a woman flirting with a-with a single man, we-we must alert the church elders! Rachel Green : You don't understand! You didn't see how brazen she was. Phoebe Buffay : Sounds like you're a little jealous. Rachel Green : No! I'm not! I-I-I just think it's wrong! It's-it's that I'm-Here I am about to pop and he's out picking up some shop girl at Sluts 'R' Us! Phoebe Buffay : Is that a real place? Are they hiring? Chandler Bing : Hey Phoebe! Fatty! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Chandler, why so fancy? Chandler Bing : Well, I got a job interview. It's kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and I'd be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring. Phoebe Buffay : Wait, I think I know someone who does that. Chandler Bing : Me! I do that. So... Seriously, do I look okay? I'm little nervous. Rachel Green : Oh yeah! You really-You look great. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, just don't get your hopes up. Chandler Bing : Why not? Phoebe Buffay : Well, the interview... Chandler Bing : What about it? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know! You don't make a very good first impression. Chandler Bing : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh you don't know. Chandler Bing : Are you serious?! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh! Chandler Bing : What is it that I do? Phoebe Buffay : Well it's just like you're trying too hard. Always making jokes, y'know, you just-You come off a little needy. Chandler Bing : Did you like me when we first met? Rachel Green : Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. Monica Geller : Hi! Umm, I'm Monica Geller, I'm the chef at Alessandro's. The Food Critic : Still? Monica Geller : I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance. The Food Critic : I don't see any reason why I would do that to myself again. Joey Tribbiani : Either eat it, or be in it. Monica Geller : Spoon? So, what do you think? The Food Critic : I'm torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soup is abysmal. Joey Tribbiani : Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; there's a new class comin' in. The Cooking Teacher : Welcome to introduction to cooking. Now, before we start, can anyone tell me the difference between a hollandaise sauce and a bearnaise sauce? Monica Geller : I can. The Cooking Teacher : Okay, go ahead. Monica Geller : Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon. The Cooking Teacher : That's very good, what's your name? Monica Geller : Monica. The Cooking Teacher : Monica, you go to the head of the class. Monica Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life? Ross Geller : My son? Pretty serious. Oh hey Katie! What uh, what are you doing here? Katie (saleswoman) : Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. Ross Geller : Ah, must've been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store. Katie (saleswoman) : Listen, to be honest, home deliveries are really a part of my job description. Ross Geller : Oh. Katie (saleswoman) : Oh uh...I actually came here to ask you out. Ross Geller : Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. I'm just gonna put this back in my pocket, pretend that didn't happen. Uh yeah, actually I'm free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or... Katie (saleswoman) : Sure! Rachel Green : Horny bitch. No! You're a horny bitch! Noooo! You're the horny bitch! No! You're a horny bitch! Rachel Green : So you guys go, have a really good time. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. Y'know because of the Indiana Jones? Not-not because I'm-I'm into S&M. I'm not-I'm not into anything weird. Y'know? Just-just normal sex. So, I'm gonna grab my coat. Rachel Green : So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy. Katie (saleswoman) : Are you okay with this? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun. Katie (saleswoman) : Okay. It was nice to see you. Rachel Green : Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button. Katie (saleswoman) : Oh umm, actually I umm... Rachel Green : Oh okay, I see what you're doing there. Chandler Bing : I can't even believe this! I really come off that badly? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! It's okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are. Chandler Bing : Oh good. Good, because I'm sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks. Phoebe Buffay : All right, don't freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave? Chandler Bing : An hour. Phoebe Buffay : I can't help you. Chandler Bing : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : All right, all right, we'll just do our best. Okay? So let's say I'm the interviewer and I'm meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, I'm uh, Regina Philange." Chandler Bing : Chandler Bing. Phoebe Buffay : Bing, what an unusual name. Chandler Bing : Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. I'll let myself out. Joey Tribbiani : Hi. The Cooking Teacher : Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese? Joey Tribbiani : When you say used, do you mean eat as a pre-cooking snack? The Cooking Teacher : And the cream? Joey Tribbiani : Cheese makes me thirsty. The Cooking Teacher : Okay. Let's move on. Joey Tribbiani : All right. The Cooking Teacher : Oh! Something smells good over at Monica's station! Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! You've never made this before? Monica Geller : Oh no! I don't know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what it's called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles. The Cooking Teacher : Well, hats off to the chef. Monica Geller : I-I-I'm sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didn't hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now? The Cooking Teacher : The chef! Monica Geller : That's right. Chandler Bing : ...I think you'll find if I come to work here, I don't micro-manage. I don't shy away from delegating. Phoebe Buffay : Um-hmm, that's good to know. But let's stop focusing on what you don't do, and start focusing on what you do do. Chandler Bing : What I do do...is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me. Phoebe Buffay : I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way. Chandler Bing : Hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Phoebe Buffay : You gotta go! Chandler Bing : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, don't worry. You're ready. Chandler Bing : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Absolutely! Just fight all your natural instincts and you'll be great. Chandler Bing : Okay. The Cooking Teacher : Ah Monica, my star student. Monica Geller : Y'know, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. The Cooking Teacher : Oh, yum-yum-yum. Monica Geller : Wow! A star! I know you all hate me and-and I'm sorry, but I don't care. The Cooking Teacher : Okay Joey, you're up next. This are good! This is amazing! You get an A! Joey Tribbiani : I can an A? In-in school? Hey, I'm a dork. Monica Geller : Joey! I'm so proud of you! The Cooking Teacher : I think you should give him your star. Monica Geller : Excuse me? He doesn't even know what he's doing! The Cooking Teacher : We're all beginners here. Nobody knows what they're doing. Monica Geller : I do! I'm a professional chef! Oh relax! It's not a courtroom drama! The Cooking Teacher : If you're a professional chef, what are you doing taking Introduction to Cooking? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Monica Geller : I'm-I'm sorry, it's just that umm... Well I-I cook at this restaurant, Alessandro's, and umm I just got a really bad review... The Cooking Teacher : Oh Alessandro's! I love that place! Monica Geller : You do? The Cooking Teacher : Oh yes! You're an excellent chef! As a person you're a little... Monica Geller : Oh, I'm totally crazy, but you-you like the food? The Cooking Teacher : Very much. Monica Geller : Okay then, I don't stink. I'm a good chef. Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I don't want to go. I'm having fun. The Cooking Teacher : Well actually, did either of you pay for this class? Joey Tribbiani : Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says it's time to go, it's time to go. Chandler Bing : ...also I was the point person on my company's transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system. The Interviewer : You must've had your hands full. Chandler Bing : That I did. That I did. The Interviewer : So let's talk a little bit about your duties. Chandler Bing : My duties? All right. The Interviewer : Now you'll be heading a whole division, so you'll have a lot of duties. Chandler Bing : I see. The Interviewer : But there'll be perhaps 30 people under you so you can dump a certain amount on them. Chandler Bing : Good to know. The Interviewer : We can go into detail... Chandler Bing : No don't I beg of you! The Interviewer : All right then, we'll have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, you'll fit in well here. Chandler Bing : Really?! The Interviewer : Absolutely. You can relax; you did great. Chandler Bing : Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Y'know I've been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. Duties. Duties! Poo. The Interviewer : Poo? Chandler Bing : Oh my God this doesn't count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! There's a crazy guy out in the hall! The Interviewer : Poo?! Chandler Bing : I'll look forward to your call. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi! You're back from your date! Ross Geller : How are you? Rachel Green : I'm fine, but that's not important. What's important is how was she? Ross Geller : Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee. Rachel Green : Oh uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table. Ross Geller : What's uh, what's going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie? Rachel Green : No! No, she's-She was nice. I mean, she's a little slutty, but who isn't? Ross Geller : I liked her. Rachel Green : Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones! Ross Geller : Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?! Rachel Green : No! It's just that, Kate bothered me. Ross Geller : Why? What was wrong with her? Rachel Green : There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely! Ross Geller : Okay, so what's the matter? Rachel Green : I don't want you to date her! Ross Geller : Why? What, what are you jealous? Rachel Green : Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I don't want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know it's a terrible thing to even think this, and it's completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! I'm very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : I won't date. I'll uh, I'll be here, with you, all the time. Rachel Green : Really? But I'm being so unreasonable. Ross Geller : True, but you're allowed to be unreasonable. You're having our baby. Rachel Green : Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. Ross Geller : Do you feel better? Rachel Green : No, not really. You're pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. Ross Geller : Uh Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Just one thing umm... Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Ross Geller : We live together. You're having our baby. I'm not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you don't want something more? Rachel Green : Wow! I don't know, maybe. I'm... Ross Geller : Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin' around! Like you did last night when I had to pee? Rachel Green : I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin' with you too! Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you said you... Rachel Green : Oh no-no-no-no, no! Ross Geller : ...that you actually... Rachel Green : No that's just--That's just 'cause I'm such a good messer! Ross Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Yeah? Ross Geller : The bathroom? Rachel Green : Right! Joey Tribbiani : Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, that's the first A I've gotten since seventh grade, and I didn't have to sleep with the teacher this time. Monica Geller : Oh, look! Acting for Beginners! Want to feel good about yourself? Joey Tribbiani : What the hell! Monica Geller : Okay. The Acting Teacher : All right, let's start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, this was a stupid idea. Ross Geller : Hey! What are you guys looking at? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it's a poster for that World War I movie that I'm in, check it out. Ross Geller : Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh! I know. I'm coming soon to a theater near you! I'm in THX! I'm unsuitable for children! Ross Geller : Now I cannot wait to see this. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, it's already generating Oscar buzz. Phoebe Buffay : I started that! Joey Tribbiani : I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and you're all invited! Monica Geller : Are we gonna take a limo? Joey Tribbiani : Sure! Why not?! Monica Geller : Oh I love taking limos when nobody died! Rachel Green : Well obviously I won't be able to come, for those of you who haven't checked their calendars today is my due date. Well y'know, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great you've been during this time. I really couldn't have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant. Rachel Green : That's right, still no baby! Come on people! Please make some room! Ross Geller : Uh sweetie, maybe you'd be more comfortable here? Rachel Green : You. Like you haven't done enough. Ross Geller : Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. Because with seahorses it's the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, I'd be far away in the sea. Rachel Green : God. I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life! Phoebe Buffay : Oh I know, I've been there. I remember toward the end... Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe, that's a great story. Can you tell it to me when you're getting me some iced tea? Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!! Chandler Bing : Let's. Chandler Bing : Hey! Did you have the baby yet? Rachel Green : Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? 'Cause I'll do it. Monica Geller : What are you doing here so early? Rachel Green : They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby." Well y'know what? Screw 'em! If they don't want me there, I'll just hang out with you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Or you can do volunteer work. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Estelle Leonard : Joey! It's Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere. Joey Tribbiani : One guest? You told me I can have six tickets! Estelle Leonard : Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. You'll be sitting next to HotGuy372. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. So that's it?! I only get to bring one guest? Estelle Leonard : Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross. Rachel Green : What-what about me? Joey Tribbiani : You said you didn't want to go. Rachel Green : I don't. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because I'm pregnant you think I'm invisible. Joey Tribbiani : Definitely not invisible. Monica Geller : Well, well Ross didn't care enough to be here, so I think he's out. You snooze you lose. Chandler Bing : He's not snoozing, he's teaching a class. Monica Geller : Well then somebody's snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. Chandler Bing : I haven't seen this dress. Monica Geller : Star in a movie. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? Phoebe, Phoebe. Joey Tribbiani : Well uh...I think I want to take Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe-Burrrrr! Chandler Bing : You really want to take me? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Yeah! I mean I'm sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but y'know Chandler always supported my career. He's paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back. Chandler Bing : So you're never actually going to pay me back? Monica Geller : Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots you're gonna take him? Joey, I don't think you're comprehending just how slutty this dress is! Joey Tribbiani : It's not just the stuff he paid for, I mean it's-it's everything. Y'know? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didn't get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didn't believe in myself. Chandler Bing : I always knew you were gonna make it. I'm so proud of you. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. That means a lot to me. Phoebe Buffay : Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress. Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna go shave. Chandler Bing : Yeah well, I'm gonna go spit. Rachel Green : Oh, I have to pee. If I don't come out in five minutes it's because I've choked to death on the potpourri stink. Phoebe Buffay : When she comes out, you hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth, and the kid will just right out of her. Monica Geller : She's over a week late! She gotta have it today, right? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. I-I think it's still gonna be a while. Monica Geller : Hmm, care to make it interesting? I'll bet you that she'll have it by this time tomorrow. Phoebe Buffay : You're on! Monica Geller : Okay, how much? Phoebe Buffay : One hundred thousand dollars! Monica Geller : How about fifty bucks? Phoebe Buffay : Fine! I'll call Zurich and move some money around. Rachel Green : All right, who's turn is it to help me get up! Phoebe Buffay : No one's here! Oh damnit! Chandler Bing : This is so exciting! It's so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look? Joey Tribbiani : A little tall. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? There you go. Chandler Bing : It's just so glamorous. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, you're still pregnant. Oh, I'm sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Y'know what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks. Rachel Green : Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. Monica Geller : Damnit! Damnit!! Here's your fifty bucks! Phoebe Buffay : It's interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose? Monica Geller : Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow! Phoebe Buffay : Fine! You're on! Monica Geller : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp right there. Ross Geller : Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctor's appointment. Monica Geller : She's in the bathroom. Ross Geller : Rach, we gotta go. Rachel Green : In a minute!!! Ross Geller : People ask me why we're not together, I just don't know what to tell them. Rachel Green : All right, all right. Let's go! Ross Geller : Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctor's keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry... Rachel Green : No, I'm fine. Ross Geller : Really? You don't think that's a little inappropriate. Phoebe Buffay : Good God man don't anger it. Rachel Green : Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable. Ross Geller : Fine! Fine! Y'know what? Whatever you want. Okay? You're the mommy. Rachel Green : Oh uh-uh pal! Don't call me mommy! It's bad enough you call your own mother that. Monica Geller : I'm actually with her on this one. Joey Tribbiani : "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along." Joey Tribbiani : Okay, this is it. It's my big fight scene coming up. Rachel Green : Ross. Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Can I ask you something? Ross Geller : Uh-huh. Rachel Green : When Carol was pregnant with Ben... Ross Geller : Mmm? Rachel Green : ...were you this irritating? Ross Geller : Wow! Rachel Green : Excuse me?! Ross Geller : Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, you've been a little short with me lately. I'm not trying to irritate you. Rachel Green : Well then you just must have a natural talent for it. Ross Geller : Y'know what? The doctor will be in soon, why don't we not speak until then. Rachel Green : Okay. Seriously, breathe louder Ross! That's great! Ross Geller : Y'know we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human and half pure evil! Rachel Green : Hi Dr. Long, how are you? Ross Geller : Oh, you're nice to her. Rachel Green : She has the drugs! Dr. Long : We'll do a quick check. Rachel Green : Okay. Dr. Long : So, eight days late huh? Rachel Green : Yeah. Dr. Long : You must be a little uncomfortable. Rachel Green : Eh, just a tad. Dr. Long : You're about 80 percent effaced, so you're on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If you're anxious there are a few ways to help things along. Ross Geller : Do them!! Dr. Long : Actually, they're things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience I've found that some of them are quite effective. Rachel Green : Well, we are ready to try anything. Dr. Long : Okay, there's an herbal tea you can drink. Rachel Green : Okay. Dr. Long : You can take some caster oil, there's eating spicy foods... Rachel Green : Great! We will do all of those. Dr. Long : ...taking a long walk, and then there's the one that's proved most effective: sex. Ross Geller : You've got to be kidding me! Chandler Bing : Good job Joe! Well done! Top notch! Joey Tribbiani : You liked it? You really liked it? Chandler Bing : Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Which part exactly? Chandler Bing : The whole thing! Can we go? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics. Chandler Bing : I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part? Chandler Bing : I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic. Joey Tribbiani : You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didn't take any of my suggestions! That's for coming buddy. I'll see you later. Chandler Bing : Don't go! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! Or, call an ambulance. Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come? Rachel Green : No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor. Ross Geller : Yeah, we tried them all. We went for a walk, uh we tried a special tea, caster oil, spicy food nothing has worked. Rachel Green : Well, there is one thing that we haven't tried, but someone thinks that, "That will open up a can of worms." Monica Geller : Well what is it? What is it? If it's gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it. Ross Geller : It's sex. Monica Geller : Do it! Ross Geller : Monica! Monica Geller : I'm just saying it's been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours! Phoebe Buffay : Oh I-I don't know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic. Monica Geller : All right, let's be practical, if Ross isn't willing to do it, he's not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow Chandler-Chandler is good! Ross Geller : Monica, what is the matter with you? Monica Geller : Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today. Rachel Green : Why? Why today? Monica Geller : Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that you're gonna have the baby and I don't want to lose again! Ross Geller : What?! While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money?! You're betting on your friend staying in this misery?! Rachel Green : I'll take that bet. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : Well, I'm miserable here! I might as well make some money out it! Ross Geller : Can I get some of that action? Monica Geller : Wait a minute! Now I'm betting against all three of you? Rachel Green : Oh honey, don't worry. I really do feel like tomorrow's the day. Monica Geller : Oh, okay! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Sleeping beauty! Chandler Bing : Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad! Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep? Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? You've done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you? Chandler Bing : What?! Joey Tribbiani : Give me a number, I don't want to owe you anything! Chandler Bing : You don't owe me anything, I don't want you money... Joey Tribbiani : Ah-ah-ah! We're doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those? Chandler Bing : I don't know, five hundred dollars? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, five hundred dollars. What else? Chandler Bing : Well then there was the second set, the infamous booger head shots. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, so that's another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, that's... Chandler Bing : Do you want a calculator? Joey Tribbiani : Please! Chandler Bing : Here! Joey Tribbiani : All right, what else? Chandler Bing : Well uh, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes... Joey Tribbiani : Which we're still keeping under our hats! Chandler Bing : Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican. Joey Tribbiani : What the hell are you talking about, "The south will rise again man." Chandler Bing : Yes, money well spent! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent! Chandler Bing : Okay, two, three years of rent, utilities, food... Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Okay, so I'm writing you a check for...So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing? Ross Geller : Come on, finish your enchilada. Rachel Green : Ross I-We tried all the spicy food. It's not working. Ross Geller : Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha... Oh God! So...so hot! Oh my- By the way, you don't want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye. Rachel Green : I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you. Ross Geller : Stop it. Rachel Green : Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know what's gonna work! It's doctor recommended! Ross Geller : I'm sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, I'm dying. Rachel Green : Oh come on Ross, we've done it before we'll do it again, it'll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy. Ross Geller : This is insane, I'm not gonna make love to you just so that you'll go into labor. Rachel Green : Make love? What are you a girl? Ross Geller : Always a great way to get in a man's pants. Rachel Green : But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, y'know you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out. Ross Geller : I love when you talk dirty to me. Rachel Green : Oh, I know it. You're right. That's not sexy. Oh...Oh! Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. Oh God! Ross Geller : Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen. Rachel Green : Come on Ross! I'm miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me. Ross Geller : Y'know what? Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Forget it. Rachel Green : Oh wow! What now Ross you're not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. I mean you'd think the damn jalepeno would've cleared up your sinuses, but no!! That's not enough... What are you doing?! Ross Geller : I'm getting that baby out of you! Rachel Green : Oh God! Ross Geller : Oh, I know. Rachel Green : Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke. Ross Geller : I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys? Rachel Green : Okay! I got the keys! Okay! Okay! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : We're having a baby. Rachel Green : I didn't uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to... Ross Geller : Not so much. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Two hundred. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! Monica Geller : That's it. I'm done. I don't care when the baby comes, no more betting. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Hello? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. I guess we can bet one more time. Phoebe Buffay : Is Rachel having the baby? Monica Geller : How did you know that?! Joey! Chandler!! It's time! Phoebe Buffay : They're at the coffeehouse. Monica Geller : You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. I bet you it has hair. I bet you it's a girl. Phoebe Buffay : We know it's a girl! Monica Geller : I'll give you really good odds. Ross Geller : All right! Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!! Rachel Green : Yes, the hard part is truly over. Ross Geller : No, but come on, we're off to a great start aren't we? I knew I'd get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record! Phoebe Buffay : Oh you made it! Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : How are you doing? Ross Geller : Wait a minute! How-how the hell did you beat us here? Monica Geller : We took a cab. Did you guys walk? Ross Geller : N... No! We took a cab too, but I did test runs! Chandler Bing : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! You made it! Ross Geller : Okay is there...some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?! Rachel Green : Ross, you stay here and talk, I'm gonna go have a baby. Ross Geller : Okay. Okay. Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. I'm Ross Geller. We-we called from the car. Nurse : Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute... Rachel Green : Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I'm sorry, semi-private? We , we asked for a private room. Nurse : Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we can't guarantee a private room and currently they're all unavailable. Chandler Bing : Man, if only you'd gotten here sooner. Nurse : I'm sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have. Rachel Green : Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Give her some money. Ross Geller : I really think they're out of rooms. Rachel Green : They're not!! Ross, they're just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?! Ross Geller : Well then we'd be in a lot of trouble, you don't know where any countries are. Okay. Uh, say would you umm... Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have opened up? Nurse : This is a hospital. Rachel Green : Okay. Y'know what? I'd have to say I really don't care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem to-Whoa! Oh gosh! Whoa! Ross Geller : What-what? Rachel Green : Ow! Ow! Contraction. Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Nurse : Would you like to see a semi-private room? Rachel Green : Yeah, it couldn't hurt to look. Dr. Long : Well you're only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. It'll be a while. Rachel Green : Oh, okay. Dr. Long : I'll be back in an hour to check you again. Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Thank you. Well, I guess we have some time to kill. Ross Geller : Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! Never done this before. Rachel Green : Yeah well it looks great! Man : Thank you very much. Woman : Thanks. Ross Geller : Hi! Hi, I'm uh Ross. I'm here to ruin this magical day for you. Man : Oh no-no, not at all. Woman : Don't worry about it. Man : Marc Coreger, this is my wife Julie. Ross Geller : Hi Julie. Julie Coreger : Hi. Ross Geller : This is Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi! Marc Coreger : Oh hi Rachel. Rachel Green : How are you? Julie Coreger : Hi. Is this your first? Rachel Green : Yeah it is. Julie Coreger : Well, little Jamie here is our third. So, if you have questions or you need anything at all, just holler. Rachel Green : That's so sweet. Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Umm say, I-I opened this earlier but let me give you guys some privacy. Marc Coreger : No nonsense! We're all in this together. Julie Coreger : Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think we're gonna have some fun. Marc Coreger : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, okay. Marc Coreger : Hey! Smile! Rachel Green : Oh no, I really don't want any--Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross... Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Here comes another contraction. Ross Geller : Oh. Okay, just breathe. Julie Coreger : Oh honey, I think I'm having one too! Marc Coreger : Look at this! There we go! Phoebe Buffay : Oh wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest. Monica Geller : Hey, you wanna see something? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! What? Monica Geller : Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : Listen uh, I-I've been doing some thinking, and I don't know whether it's because we're here or Rachel's giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : What-what-what's that now?! Chandler Bing : Okay. I've been thinking about it too, and I, I think we're ready. Monica Geller : What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think we're ready to have a baby now?! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is fun. Joey Tribbiani : You're ready to have a baby? My boy's all grown up! Chandler Bing : But you said you were ready too. Monica Geller : Yeah but I was just screwing with you to try to get your voice all high and weird like mine is now! Chandler Bing : Yes, but haven't you wanted a kid like forever? Monica Geller : Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. 'Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father. Joey Tribbiani : What?! Are you crazy?! Monica Geller : That's it! Right there! Is all I wanted! Marc Coreger : I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam. Rachel Green : Oh, that's very-Really very-very okay. Marc Coreger : Julie's cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, that's about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself. Julie Coreger : Have you felt Rachel's cervix Ross? Rachel Green : No, I don't think we'll be doing that. Ross Geller : We're not gonna do that. Julie Coreger : Well, if you like you can feel Rachel's and then feel mine to compare. Judy Geller : Am I interrupting? Ross Geller : Uh yes! Thank you. Rachel Green : Oh. Oh wait no. Ross Geller : Later. Rachel Green : No-no-don't! Don't leave me here with these people. Ross Geller : Oh uh, I'm sorry. Rachel Green : No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father! Ross Geller : Hi! I'm so glad you're here, but it's gonna be a while. I-I wished you'd called first. Judy Geller : Oh that's all right, I'm coming back later with your father. Ross Geller : Oh good. Judy Geller : I actually needed to talk to you before the birth. Ross Geller : Okay, what's up? Judy Geller : I brought something that I want to give you, assuming of course that you want it. Ross Geller : Ma, you're asking me to marry you? Judy Geller : This is your grandmother's engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel. Ross Geller : Mom no, come on! Thank you. Judy Geller : Just hear me out! Ross Geller : N-no! Okay? We've been through this! We're not gonna get married just because she's pregnant, okay? Judy Geller : Honestly! Ross, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family. Ross Geller : Mom, y'know what? I-I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry... Judy Geller : Just...think about it. If you don't, I'll talk more about humping. Ross Geller : Gimmie! Rachel Green : Hi! Judy Geller : Oh hi dear! Rachel Green : Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here! Ross Geller : ...she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why I'm not with Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Why aren't you with Rachel? Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Look, we're not gonna be together just because we're having a baby. Okay? Phoebe Buffay : But y'know what? It just seems that you two belong together. Ross Geller : Okay, stop it! I can't deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby. Phoebe Buffay : Right. And with who again? Joey Tribbiani : God. He's crazy! Why doesn't he want to be with Rachel? Phoebe Buffay : I know! Joey Tribbiani : I mean seriously, she's like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadn't and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and... I haven't bummed you guys out like this in a while have I? Ross Geller : Hey. Who's that? Rachel Green : New people. Ross Geller : What happened to the Disgustingtons? Rachel Green : They're having their baby! It's not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away. Ross Geller : Wow! Sorry. So uh, how are the new people? Rachel Green : Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction! Ross Geller : Yeah? Okay. Rachel Green : Ooh! Ow!! Evil Bitch : Are you looking at her?! Sick Bastard : No! Evil Bitch : Don't you look at her you sick bastard! Sick Bastard : Honey I swear! I wasn't looking at her! Evil Bitch : She's in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch! Ross Geller : Umm. Umm, I'm-I'm just gonna- Evil Bitch : See? See? It was because you were looking fat pervert! Ross Geller : No-no, I'm...I'm sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. Evil Bitch : You miss your girlfriend? Ross Geller : Just ignore them. Rachel Green : Ross. Ross Geller : What? What? Rachel Green : He's looking at me. Ross Geller : Hey! You wanna live to see your baby?! Evil Bitch : Don't you talk to my husband like that you stupid bastard! Monica Geller : Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it! Monica Geller : What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies? Chandler Bing : I'm not crazy about babies. I'm crazy about us. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Look, we've always talked about having babies someday. I'm not saying it has to be right now, but I'm starting to think that we can handle it. We're good. We're really good. Monica Geller : We are pretty good. Chandler Bing : But nothing has to happen until your ready. Monica Geller : Well maybe I'm ready now. I mean, it's a little scary, but maybe it's right. Chandler Bing : What?! It's not right! We're not ready to have a kid now!! Monica Geller : What?!! Chandler Bing : I'm kidding. This is going to be fun. Monica Geller : So we're gonna try? I mean, are we trying? Chandler Bing : We're trying to get pregnant. Y'know I'm not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying? Monica Geller : Okay, hold on a sec. Chandler Bing : Period math? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : Well, we could start trying. Now. Chandler Bing : Right here? Monica Geller : No, not here. Maybe here. Chandler Bing : Wait a minute, it's perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and we're in a building that's full of beds! Monica Geller : And it's so clean!! Joey Tribbiani : Come on you stupid machine! Come on! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it ate your money? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I'll see you downstairs then. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Phoebe Buffay : All right. Joey Tribbiani : Hey I got one! I got one! Man : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Man : Oh uh, up or down? Phoebe Buffay : Oh down please. I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? Man : Could you press up too please? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! I feel so bad for you; I broke my leg once too. Man : Oh yeah? How'd yours happen? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's a long story. It's kind of embarrassing. Let's just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. How about you? Man : Car accident. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Man : Oh, let me guess some idiot on a cell phone wasn't paying attention? Man : Yeah. Me. Oh hey, that's me. Hey uh, I take it you're just visiting someone. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh, yeah. Man : Well umm, if you have sometime y'know and maybe you might want to visit someone else... Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! I-I would like that. Man : I'm in the middle... Phoebe Buffay : Wait! What?! No!! Elevator!! No! Joey Tribbiani : Uh, you gotta press the button. Ross Geller : The nurse said they're bringing in another woman. Rachel Green : Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesn't need to be; she'll still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! Ross Geller : That's it. That's it. Woman : Oooh, that sounded like a bad one. Rachel Green : Yeah it was. Woman : Mine haven't been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now. Oh, that was a big one! Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient I'm looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, he's like early to mid-thirties, very attractive. Nurse : I think I know who you're talking about. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yay! Great! Okay, what room number is he in? Nurse : I'm sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff... Joey Tribbiani : Uh, she's with me. Dr. Drake Remoray. Nurse : Dr. Drake who? Joey Tribbiani : Remoray. It's Portuguese. We need that information; I'm a doctor. Nurse : A doctor at this hospital? Joey Tribbiani : Damnit woman we're losing precious time! Now do you want this man's blood on your head? Phoebe Buffay : Hands. Joey Tribbiani : Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. He's a patient of mine, I've been treating him for years! Nurse : He's in room 816. Joey Tribbiani : 816, thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : And what is his name? Phoebe Buffay : No! Monica Geller : I think we found a place. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little? Chandler Bing : Okay. Uh, we'll dim the lights, dim the lights. Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. Monica Geller : Okay! Okay! Make me sterile, but okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Let's hurry-Oh wait! Do we have a condom? Oh right! Chandler Bing : Yes, 98.6. You're gonna be fine. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, this is it! Oh, that's him! That's him! Joey Tribbiani : Great! Go get him. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a second, or maybe you can go in first. Joey Tribbiani : He's not really my type. Phoebe Buffay : No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see what's he like. People tell doctors everything. Joey Tribbiani : But you said he was this great guy! Phoebe Buffay : But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks. Joey Tribbiani : You do attract some stinkers. Rachel Green : Dr. Long, I've been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine? Dr. Long : Three. Ross Geller : Just three?! I'm dilated three! Dr. Long : We are moving along, just slowly. Don't worry, you're doing great. I'll be back soon. Rachel Green : Hey, y'know what? I'm not waiting! I'm gonna push this baby out! I'm doing it! I mean it's what? Three centimeters? That's gotta be like this! Ross Geller : Actually it's more like this. Rachel Green : Oh stupid metric system! Doctor : Oh my. We're gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room. Rachel Green : Oh for the love of God! Woman Giving Birth : It's coming! It's coming! Doctor : And here it is! Rachel Green : Oh come on!! Joey Tribbiani : Hi! I'm Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you. Man : Really? I've been dealing with Dr. Wells. Joey Tribbiani : I know, but I'm a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me. Man : Dr. Wells is a woman. Joey Tribbiani : That was a test. Good response. All right, full name. Man : Clifford Burnett. Joey Tribbiani : Date of birth? Cliff : November 16th, 1968. Joey Tribbiani : Age? Cliff : Can't you figure that out based on my date of birth? Joey Tribbiani : I'm a doctor Cliff, not a mathematician. Cliff : I'm 33. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. And uh, are you married. Cliff : No. Joey Tribbiani : Oh really? So, 33 and still single, would you say you have commitment issues? Cliff : Are all the questions this personal? Joey Tribbiani : Yes. Cliff : Well uh if you must know I'm a widower. Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's terrible. I'm-I'm really sorry. Cliff : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again? Cliff : No. Joey Tribbiani : Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff y'know, sexually? Cliff : No! Joey Tribbiani : Oooh, wrong answer. Nurse : This room's available. Rachel Green : Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, that's four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! I'm next! It's my turn! It's only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me I'm going to sue you! Not this hospital, I'm going to sue you! And my husband he's a lawyer! Ross Geller : Uh Rach... Rachel Green : Go get back on that case honey! Nurse : I don't think the next patient is very far along. Rachel Green : Okay, well then bring her in. Woman : OH....MY....GAWD!!! Janice Litman Goralnik : I....can't....believe this! Ross Geller : And yet somehow it's true! Janice Litman Goralnik : I mean this is so great! We're gonna be baby buddies! Ross Geller : Squeeze your legs together and cover the baby's ears! Man : Hi sweetie! Janice Litman Goralnik : Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I don't think you've met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologist's office. Thank God for adult acne huh? Sid Goralnik : I still can't believe it! I'm the luckiest guy in the world! Ross Geller : Really? Sid Goralnik : What'd he say? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh y'know what? You have to speak very loudly when you're talking to Sid, because he's almost completely deaf. Rachel Green : Oh! Ross Geller : Oh there you go! Rachel Green : I get it! Janice Litman Goralnik : So? Congratulations you two, I didn't even know you got married. Rachel Green : Oh we-we didn't. Ross Geller : No-no. We... Janice Litman Goralnik : What?! Ross Geller : Um uh...We're-we're just having this baby together but uh, uh that's all. Janice Litman Goralnik : Why?!! Ross Geller : Uh well umm...we're just not in that place, y'know? But we're very excited about this. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh. Well then shut me up. Rachel Green : Just tell me how. Janice Litman Goralnik : Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. Ross Geller : Sid you lucky deaf bastard. Phoebe Buffay : What else? What else? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, well he's 33. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Ah-uh. Joey Tribbiani : A widower. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : He seemed like a stand up guy. Oh, and he's not into anything weird sexually. Phoebe Buffay : Enter Pheebs. Chandler Bing : Should we tell Rachel there's an empty private room right next door to hers? Monica Geller : We could, or we can have sex in it. Chandler Bing : Well let me think about that, while I remove my pants! Monica Geller : Okay mister! Fertilize me! Monica Geller : Does that sound like Janice? Chandler Bing : If it's not, then there's two of them. And that would mean it's the end of the world! Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hi. Rachel Green : Oh hi. Monica Geller : I can't believe this is taking so long. How are you doing? Rachel Green : Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when you're trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass? Chandler Bing : Weirdest thing. Did I hear--Mother of God it's true! Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler Bing! Chandler Bing : Jan-Janice! Ross Geller : Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler. Chandler Bing : Janice I didn't even know you were pregnant! Who's the unwitting human who's essence you've stolen? Janice Litman Goralnik : It's you. This is yours. Chandler Bing : What?! Janice Litman Goralnik : Look how nervous he gets! We haven't slept together in years! Chandler Bing : That's funny. Does it-does it hurt? Does the labor hurt? Phoebe Buffay : Okay I've got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla? Cliff : I'd have to say...the talking gorilla, because at least I can explain to him that you're making me eat him. Phoebe Buffay : Somebody went to college. Wow. What is it? I'm sorry. Cliff : No, I'm sorry. It's just my foot itches like crazy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'll get it. Cliff : Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me. Phoebe Buffay : Relax, it's not like we're forking. Rachel Green : Oh that's five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesn't she want to come out? Ross Geller : Y'know what I think it is? I think you've made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesn't want to leave. Rachel Green : Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! Dr. Long : Twenty-one hours, you're a hero. Rachel Green : Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out. Dr. Long : Actually, I think you're ready to go to the delivery room. Rachel Green : What? Dr. Long : Ten centimeters, you're about to become a mom. Rachel Green : My God. Okay. Ha-ha-ha beat ya! Sucker! Cliff : Is this the same spoon that was in my cast? Phoebe Buffay : Y'know what? This one is. Cliff : Oh my God! That's the doctor who was in my room before! Phoebe Buffay : Huh. Okay, Mr. Perkazet. Cliff : I'm telling you! The guy from that show was here in my room, asking me all these weird questions! Phoebe Buffay : Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room? Joey Tribbiani : Rachel's having her baby!! Which is of no interest to me, I'm a neurologist. Cliff : That-that's him! You know him? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Okay. I-Okay umm...this...I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm y'know, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than I'm coming off right now. Cliff : I don't believe this. You got him to pretend he was some fake doctor? Joey Tribbiani : Fake? Excuse me? Hello? Cliff : And then you tried to make me think that I was crazy. Phoebe Buffay : You're right, that was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over? Cliff : I don't think so. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brother's triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn! Phoebe Buffay : Uh Joey, we're trying to dial down the crazy. Joey Tribbiani : Right! Phoebe Buffay : Umm, look we don't, we don't really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I don't know about you but that doesn't happen to me a lot. Cliff : It doesn't happen to me either. Joey Tribbiani : Me neither. Dr. Long : Push. Push. Come on push for five seconds. 5...4... Rachel Green : 3-2-1 oh!! Dr. Long : Okay, the next contraction should be in about twenty seconds. Rachel Green : I can't. I can't push anymore, I can't. Ross Geller : Sweetie you're doing great. Rachel Green : Oh God twenty seconds my ass!! Dr. Long : Here we go! Okay, keep pushing! Wait! I see something. Ross Geller : What? You do? You do? Oh my God! Rachel Green : Don't say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what? Ross Geller : What is that? Dr. Long : It's the baby's buttock, she's breech. Ross Geller : Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads. Rachel Green : Oh God. Is she gonna be okay? Dr. Long : She's gonna be fine. Okay, she's in a more difficult position so you're gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push! Ross Geller : Go! Dr. Long : Rachel you're gonna have to push even harder, nothing's happening! Rachel Green : I'm sorry, I can't! Ross Geller : Yes you can! Rachel Green : I can't! Ross Geller : Hey! Hey! Come on! You can! I know you can do this! Let's go! Rachel Green : I can't. Please, you do it for me. Ross Geller : No! Come on let's-One more time! One final push! Ready? 1...2...3! Dr. Long : Good! Ross Geller : Keep pushing! Rachel Green : Are you okay? Ross Geller : You have no idea how much this hurts. Keep going! Keep going! Dr. Long : Here we go! Ross Geller : Oh! Oh! She's upside down but she's coming! She's coming! Rachel Green : Oh God! Ross Geller : Oh! Oh my God oh! Oh my God she's here. Ross Geller : Oh she's...she's perfect. Rachel Green : Oh, she's so tiny. Where'd she go? Ross Geller : Oh it's okay. They're just-they're just wrapping her up. Rachel Green : Okay. Well be careful with her, she's really tiny. Dr. Long : Here she is! Rachel Green : Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, she's looking at me. Hi! I know you. Dr. Long : Do we have a name yet? Rachel Green : No, not yet. Dr. Long : That's fine, for now we'll just call her Baby Girl Green. Rachel Green : Oh no, Baby Girl Geller-Green. Rachel Green : Hello baby girl. Phoebe Buffay : Can we come in? Ross Geller : Oh, come in. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : There she is! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she's so beautiful. Rachel Green : Here. Monica Geller : Oh my God! She's amazing. Oh, oh I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex! Chandler Bing : It's incredible, I mean one minute she's inside you and then 47 hours later here she is. Joey Tribbiani : She looks so real! Y'know what I mean! She's this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and...uh-oh. Rachel Green : What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so we're good. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, my turn. My turn. Oh! You're so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! I won't. Monica Geller : What's the matter? Rachel Green : Oh nothing I... Sorry, I just can't stop crying. Ross Geller : The doctor says it's completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-you're sleep deprived. Rachel Green : So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I don't see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter now? Rachel Green : I was reliving it. Phoebe Buffay : Ohhh. Chandler Bing : So, do you know what you're gonna call her yet? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait a minute it's not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original! Ross Geller : Uh actually, we-we've narrowed it down to two names. Rachel Green : Yeah, and y'know what? I love them both, so why don't you just pick one and that'll be it. Ross Geller : Wow! Umm, okay uh...everyone...this...is Isabella. What? Rachel Green : That's not her name! I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel like an Isabella. Chandler Bing : So then I guess Ferdinad is out. Joey Tribbiani : What was the other one Ross? Ross Geller : Umm, Delilah. Rachel Green : Oh great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore. Ross Geller : So I guess we're back to uh, Baby Girl. Phoebe Buffay : Yay! Rachel Green : Well what are we going to do? Monica Geller : It's okay honey, you'll find a name. Ross Geller : Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be. Chandler Bing : You do? Monica Geller : Yeah, I've had them picked out since I was fourteen. Chandler Bing : Oh no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good isn't it? Rachel Green : Well tell us! What are they? Monica Geller : Umm, okay. If it's a boy it's Daniel. Rachel Green : And if it's a girl? Monica Geller : I don't want to say. Rachel Green : Oh, just tell us! We're not gonna want it! Monica Geller : Okay. It's Emma. Rachel Green : Emma! See? I don't want it. Monica Geller : Take it. Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : It's clearly an Emma. Rachel Green : Oh honey, but you love that name. Monica Geller : Yeah, but I love you more. Besides y'know, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed. I mean... Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, that's you. You're our little Em. Oh what's that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? You want a cousin right now?! Chandler Bing : That was amazing. Monica Geller : I know. Hey, do you realize we may have just changed our lives forever? We may have just started a family. Nine months from now we can be here, having our own baby. Chandler Bing : And if not, we got to do it on a bucket. Janice Litman Goralnik : Yoo-hoo! Aaron Litman-Neurolic would like to say hello to his future bride. Rachel Green : Ohhh! Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesn't he? Janice Litman Goralnik : He's a keeper. How are you feeling? Rachel Green : Oh, I'm fine. Janice Litman Goralnik : Can I just say, I really admire what you're doing. Just raising her all alone. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm not doing it alone. I have Ross. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married? Rachel Green : Well then he gets a divorce, it's Ross! Janice Litman Goralnik : I'm telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say they're gonna be there until they start their real family. Rachel Green : Well I-That's never gonna happen with Ross. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh well that's what I thought about my first husband, now I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs. Rachel Green : Really? Janice Litman Goralnik : I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two are on your own. Rachel Green : Well... That's...y'know-That's-We've been alone for the last twenty minutes we're doing okay. Besides y'know what? I-I-Maybe we won't be alone, 'cause lately I-I-things have been happening between me and Ross, y'know? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Y'know? So it might be the...the beginning of something. Ross Geller : Hey Janice! Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh hi! Ross Geller : Who's this little guy? Janice Litman Goralnik : Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law. Ross Geller : No-no. No. Janice Litman Goralnik : I'm gonna leave the three of you alone. Ross Geller : Okay. Janice Litman Goralnik : Bye. Ross Geller : Man! Did you see the kid on that nose? Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Y'know what I was, I was thinking about? Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : Umm...that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some-something huh? Ross Geller : Yeah. Yeah, it really was. But we...we gotta be careful. We...we can't let that happen again, y'know? Rachel Green : Right. Ross Geller : I mean we don't want to go down that road do we? Rachel Green : No! No, of course not. No. That's why I brought it up. They didn't have any sodas? Ross Geller : Oh my God! I'm sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot. Rachel Green : That's all right. And so it begins. Phoebe Buffay : Is she in there? Ross Geller : Yeah. She's putting her down now, that's her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Ross Geller : Look at Emma! Phoebe Buffay : I just can't decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel? Ross Geller : Oh what are you kidding? She's gorgeous, it's all Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, for the last time, why aren't you two together again? No, I know. I know, because you're not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are. Ross Geller : It's...it's complicated okay? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah that's true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer. Ross Geller : Look, we've been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. It's just if-if we got together again and it didn't work out...I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything- Oh that's...now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I we're doing really, we're doing really well right now. Phoebe Buffay : I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it. Ross Geller : Yeah, exactly. Phoebe Buffay : Right. Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were fifteen. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. What's the matter? Rachel Green : Nothing. Joey Tribbiani : What is it? Hey! Rachel Green : Really it's nothing. I'm just... Joey Tribbiani : Rach come on, what? Rachel Green : I've just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone. Joey Tribbiani : What are you talking about alone? What about Ross? Rachel Green : Oh please, he'll be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, how long was I watching that woman? Rachel Green : I'm just saying that y'know, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and...he's gonna have his own life. Right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I guess so. Rachel Green : I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen to me, listen to me...you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise that's not gonna happen. Rachel Green : Joey. Honey what would I do without you? Joey Tribbiani : You don't have to worry about that okay? Rachel Green : Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? They're right on that chair under Ross's coat. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : My God. Rachel Green : Joey. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Okay. Rachel Green : Joey. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Okay. Rachel Green : So uh...I guess we should...make it official huh? Joey Tribbiani : Uh... Look Rach... Hey Ross is here! Hey look! It's my good friend Ross. Hey Ross. Ross Geller : Hey Joey. Hey you. Rachel Green : Hey you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but I'm really more of a candy guy. Ross Geller : You're weird today. Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something. Rachel Green : Uh yeah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too. Ross Geller : Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute? Joey Tribbiani : No. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm sorry. I meant no. Monica Geller : Hi! Hey look who's here! Jack Geller : Where's my granddaughter? I've been practicing my magic tricks. Chandler Bing : He pulled a quarter out of my ear! Ross Geller : Hey, where's uh, where's mom? Jack Geller : She went to pick up Aunt Liddy. Monica Geller : Oh, Aunt Liddy's coming? That means we get five dollars each! Jack Geller : So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? Chandler Bing : Okay. Wow. Ross Geller : Uh Dad, Emma's in the nursery. I'll take you now. If you want, but I really want to talk to you. Rachel Green : I know, I still need to talk to you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey but, before you guys do that I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh and I need to talk to you. Monica Geller : About what? Phoebe Buffay : To see if know what these guys are talking about. Monica Geller : Isn't she beautiful? Jack Geller : Look at her, my first grandchild. Ross Geller : What about Ben? Jack Geller : Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. Wow. Phoebe Buffay : Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel? Ross Geller : Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room. Phoebe Buffay : Yay! It's so exciting! Wow, you could've done that with us there. Ross Geller : Yeah right. Phoebe Buffay : Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you can't talk to Rachel. Ross Geller : What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys? Phoebe Buffay : Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge! That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me. That Mr. Hasmeje still has my Gameboy. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second? Chandler Bing : Sure. Joey Tribbiani : Dude I just did something terrible. Chandler Bing : That was you?! I thought it was Jack! Joey Tribbiani : No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me! Chandler Bing : What?! Why does she think that? Joey Tribbiani : Because it kinda looked like I did. Chandler Bing : Again, what?! Joey Tribbiani : Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand. Chandler Bing : As we all are at some point during the day. Joey Tribbiani : It wasn't my ring! It fell out of Ross's jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing! Chandler Bing : Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose? Joey Tribbiani : I guess. Chandler Bing : And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose! Joey Tribbiani : I know! I know it's awful. Chandler Bing : Well, what did she say? Joey Tribbiani : She said yes. Chandler Bing : Does Ross know? Joey Tribbiani : Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him? Chandler Bing : Well maybe you don't have to tell him anything. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I like that. Yeah. Chandler Bing : If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass! Joey Tribbiani : Now let's not get carried away. Monica Geller : I want a baby. Chandler Bing : Honey, we've been over this. I need to be facing the other way. Monica Geller : Come on! Come on, if we have sex again it'll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closet's still available? Chandler Bing : I'm so tired. Yeah okay, but no foreplay. Monica Geller : Deal! Ross Geller : Dad seriously! Y'know you really should see someone about that! Jack Geller : Noted. Ross Geller : I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit? Jack Geller : Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever. Ross Geller : Actually umm... Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Are you all right? Rachel Green : Uhh... I think I just got engaged. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! He did it? Rachel Green : Well...did you know he was gonna ask me? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? I'm like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group. Rachel Green : And you really think this is a good idea? Phoebe Buffay : I just talked him into it, don't tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people. Rachel Green : I just don't know! It just doesn't feel right. Phoebe Buffay : Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks so. Rachel Green : Really?! Even Ross? Phoebe Buffay : Especially Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh y'know what? I'll-I'll come back later. Ross Geller : Wow! Kind of uh, kind of a full house here. I'll guess just...I'll come back. Phoebe Buffay : There he goes, your fiance. Rachel Green : I guess so. Phoebe Buffay : Although he does play with himself in his sleep. Rachel Green : I can't say that I'm surprised. Ross Geller : Dad, what are you doing? Jack Geller : I think there are people in there having sex. Joey Tribbiani : It can't be me, I'm standing right here. Jack Geller : Wanna peek? Ross Geller : No! Jack Geller : Come on! Ross Geller : Y'know what? I don't like you without mom. Come on. Joey Tribbiani : We're not peeking? Jack Geller : Well I'm peeking. Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Hello sir, you know Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, is it okay to come in? Rachel Green : Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I...it's beautiful I love it! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah uh look Rach, there's something I gotta tell ya. Rachel Green : Hey! Nurse : Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again? Rachel Green : Yeah! Hi Emma. Hey, why do you think she won't take my breast? Nurse : It's all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but don't worry. It'll happen. Joey Tribbiani : Yowsa! Rachel Green : Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth. Joey Tribbiani : Dear Lord. Rachel Green : I'm sorry honey, what were you saying? Joey Tribbiani : Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that. Rachel Green : Oh look, she's pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? She looks scared. Doesn't she look scared? Joey Tribbiani : Y'know, I don't really know her. Nurse : Why don't we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding me?! Rachel Green : It's just so frustrating! Why doesn't she want my breast?! Joey Tribbiani : I don't know! Maybe she's crazy! Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey! Wait up! Ross Geller : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Congratulations! I didn't want to say anything in front of Joey 'cause I didn't know if he knew yet. Ross Geller : What, that we had a baby? Come on let's give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier. Phoebe Buffay : No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged! Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We haven't done the secret thing in a long time. Ross Geller : Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didn't propose. Phoebe Buffay : Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor? Ross Geller : I am a doctor! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself. Phoebe Buffay : All right, me too. Should we wake her up? Ross Geller : No! No, come on let her sleep! She's so exhausted. Phoebe Buffay : And so engaged. Ross Geller : What? Oh my God! She-she thinks we're engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think we're engaged?! Phoebe Buffay : Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Y'know Ross doctors are supposed to be smart. Ross Geller : I didn't give her that ring! Phoebe Buffay : Really? Ross Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : So whose ring is it? Ross Geller : It's mine. Phoebe Buffay : Is it an engagement ring? Ross Geller : Yes! Phoebe Buffay : But you didn't give it to her? Ross Geller : No! Phoebe Buffay : But you were going to propose? Ross Geller : No!! Phoebe Buffay : Huh, I might be losing interest in this. Ross Geller : Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe...kinda...wanted ah...start...things up again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, what beautiful lukewarm sentiment. Ross Geller : Look, I didn't want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didn't want to either. But I don't, I don't understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people? Phoebe Buffay : No! No, she said you actually proposed to her. Ross Geller : Well I didn't! I didn't propose! Unless uh... Did I? I haven't slept in forty hours and...it does sound like something I would do. Chandler Bing : Look, we can't stay in here forever. Monica Geller : Oh, I still can't believe my dad saw us having sex! He didn't make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees! Chandler Bing : This is okay. We're all adults here; there's nothing to be ashamed of. Now, let's put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. Monica Geller : Hi Dad! I can still call you that right? Jack Geller : Of course. I'll always be your dad. Chandler Bing : I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasn't for fun. Monica Geller : It wasn't fun?! Chandler Bing : Why? Why-why-would you-Wh-why... Look, I just don't want you to think that we're animals who do it whenever we want. Jack Geller : Oh, I don't think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time. Monica Geller : The truth is, Dad, we're-we're trying. Jack Geller : What? Monica Geller : Yeah, we're trying to get pregnant. Jack Geller : Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! I'll guard the door! Monica Geller : Well, that's okay dad, we-we can wait until later. Jack Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa! I don't think so! Aren't you ovulating? Monica Geller : Daddy?! Jack Geller : Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. That's how I got my bad hip. Chandler Bing : That's funny, this conversation's how I got the bullet hole in my head. Jack Geller : This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was. Monica Geller : Daddy! I don't think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex. Jack Geller : You're right, you're right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good. Monica Geller : I don't feel good right now. Jack Geller : But pleasure is important, and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor? Chandler Bing : Seriously sir, my brains? All over the wall. Monica Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. I need to tell you something. Monica Geller : Well, now's a good time. I'm on my way to have my ears cut off. Rachel Green : Joey asked me marry him. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Joey proposed to me. Monica Geller : Is he crazy?! You just had Ross's baby! Rachel Green : Well, I-I said yes. Monica Geller : What?! Are you crazy? You just had Ross's baby! It's-it's so inappropriate. No, it's worse than that. It's wrong. It's... It is bigger than mine! Rachel Green : I know. Days of Our Lives, thank you very much. Monica Geller : You can't marry him! Rachel Green : Why not? I don't want to do this alone! And he's such a sweet guy and he loves me so much. Monica Geller : Well do you love him? Rachel Green : Sure. Monica Geller : Sure? Rachel Green : Yeah, I mean whatever. Monica Geller : Honey, the question is...do you really want to marry Joey? Rachel Green : No. No, I don't. Could you be a dear and go tell him? Chandler Bing : You still haven't told Rachel you weren't really proposing? Joey Tribbiani : No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out. Chandler Bing : Joey, you have to tell her what's going on! And what did it look like?! Joey Tribbiani : I didn't look at it. Stupid baby's head was blocking most of it. Chandler Bing : Go and tell Rachel right now before Ross finds out. Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I don't want to hurt her. Chandler Bing : Okay, look, just do it gently. Joey Tribbiani : You're right. You're right. I-I'll go tell her now before Ross finds out and I'll be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there if you want to check that out. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Listen, I um... I heard about the engagement. Rachel Green : Surprised? Ross Geller : And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um...I didn't propose to you. Rachel Green : I know. Ross Geller : I don't think you do. Rachel Green : You didn't propose to me. Joey did. Ross Geller : Poor baby, you're so tired. Rach, I didn't propose to you, Joey didn't propose to you, and Chandler didn't propose to you. Rachel Green : Uh... You didn't propose to me, Chandler didn't propose to me, but Joey did. Ross Geller : Joey proposed to you? Joey Tribbiani : I can come back. Ross Geller : Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her? Joey Tribbiani : No. Rachel Green : Yes you did! Joey Tribbiani : Actually, technically, I didn't. Rachel Green : Well then why did you give me a ring? Ross Geller : Wait! Whoa-whoa, you...you gave her the ring? Joey Tribbiani : No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me! Rachel Green : Yes, you did! Joey Tribbiani : No, I didn't! Rachel Green : Yes, you did! Joey Tribbiani : No, I didn't! Rachel Green : Yes, you did! And don't you say, "No, I didn't!" Joey Tribbiani : Ahhh! Rachel Green : He was right there. He got down on one knee and proposed. Ross Geller : Whoa! You were down on one knee? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didn't...I didn't propose! Ross Geller : Then what did happen? Rachel Green : Yeah, what did happen? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing. Rachel Green : Yeah, but you said, "Will you marry me?" Joey Tribbiani : No, I didn't! Rachel Green : Yes, you did! Joey Tribbiani : No, I didn't! Rachel Green : Yes, you did-Oh my God you didn't! Well then why didn't you tell me that before?! Joey Tribbiani : Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out! Ross Geller : Whoa! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa, you saw her breast?! Joey Tribbiani : I'll tell you about it later. Be cool. Rachel Green : Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?! Joey Tribbiani : It wasn't my ring! It's Ross's ring! That's why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose. Ross Geller : What?! Rachel Green : You were gonna propose to me? Ross Geller : Uhh... No. Joey Tribbiani : Well, this is awkward. Ross Geller : But I-I was going to see if y'know, maybe you uh, start dating again but that-I mean that-that was all, Rach. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, step up! I proposed. Ross Geller : No, you didn't! Joey Tribbiani : Oh that's right. There's a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier. Nurse : Hey, she just woke up! She's hungry. Why don't we give this another try? Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : I can't believe you told her I was going to propose! Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you're not going to propose! Ross Geller : Hey, I'm not going to rush into anything! Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : She's doing it Look, she's breast-feeding look! Joey Tribbiani : Ah, it's beautiful. Nurse : I'll come back for her later. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Oh wow, this feels weird. Ross Geller : Good weird? Rachel Green : Wonderful weird. Joey Tribbiani : Y'know what you guys? I'm uh, I'm gonna go too. And uh, I'm sorry about everything. Rachel Green : Honey don't worry, it was my mistake. Joey Tribbiani : No, Rach, I should've told you sooner. It's just that...Man! That kid is going to town! Rachel Green : She's perfect. Ross Geller : We're so lucky. Rachel Green : We really are. Ross Geller : Look, I-I know it's not a proposal and I don't know where you are, but with everything that's been going on and with Emma and...I've been feeling. Rachel Green : I know. I know. I've feeling. Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Okay, well, that... Wow, okay, well, umm...then maybe, at least we can, we can talk about us again. Rachel Green : Yeah, maybe. Ross Geller : Well good, okay. I-I, kind of think y'know if we...if You're wearing the ring. Rachel Green : Wh-what's that? Ross Geller : And you told Phoebe you were engaged. Rachel Green : I'm sorry, what? Ross Geller : When you thought Joey proposed did...did you say yes? Jack Geller : Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. Monica Geller : Hey dad! Chandler Bing : Hey. Jack Geller : Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? Thank you. Ross Geller : You said you'd marry Joey? Rachel Green : Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! I'm not helping. Ross Geller : So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby? Rachel Green : That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go. Ross Geller : So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend. Rachel Green : Well-Really? I thought Chandler was your best friend. Ross Geller : Well, Chandler's my oldest friend, but Joey's my-No! Ah! Rachel Green : Ooooo! Joey Tribbiani : Hey you guys I'm gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye. Ross Geller : Rachel said she'd marry you?! Joey Tribbiani : This isn't the right room, sorry folks. Monica Geller : Ok, I don't wanna be negative so I'll say that most of the signs you bought are good. Phoebe Buffay : No they ran out of "It's a girl" but I can fix this one, See? Monica Geller : So sexy. Honey. Chandler Bing : Yea yea. Monica Geller : Honey why don't you go lie down. Chandler Bing : No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office Am I producing them? Joey Tribbiani : Why're you so tired? Chandler Bing : Couldn't sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldn't sleep. Y'know? I was like, if I fall asleep now I'll get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now I'll get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldn't fall asleep. Joey Tribbiani : You know what you should've done, you should have told yourself that little story. Rachel Green : Hi! #ALL# : Hi, welcome home! Monica Geller : Phoebe did the signs! Rachel Green : Oh you guys thanks for doing this. Phoebe Buffay : Look at all the stuff people sent! Rachel Green : Oh Ah! Oh my gosh there's something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think... Oh you guys I love it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey so where's Ross? Rachel Green : He's downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab. Joey Tribbiani : Is he still mad at us? Rachel Green : Well, you more then me, but he can't stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby. Joey Tribbiani : That's not fair! I can't do that. Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm not so sure you should be here when he comes up. Joey Tribbiani : See this is what I was afraid of, I didn't think I should be here either but somebody said he'd be over it by now. Chandler Bing : Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla. Ms. Mckenna : The numbers we are seeing New York, Chicago, and London are consistently solid, but many of our officers have reported disappointing fields. Ms. Mckenna : Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you I'll go straight to my forty two point plan. Chandler Bing : Walter . Phoebe Buffay : She's just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy. Monica Geller : Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket. Ross Geller : Okay I put most of the stuff away. Rachel Green : Oh great, the pacifiers? Ross Geller : In the closet. Rachel Green : The burping clogs? Ross Geller : Linen closet. Rachel Green : The diapers? Ross Geller : In the hospital. Phoebe Buffay : Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy! Ross Geller : No I left the diapers at the hospital! There's some in the bag but I'll run out and get some more. Rachel Green : Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin? Ross Geller : Sure what kind? Rachel Green : Umm let me think...What do I want, what d-o I w-a-n-t... Ross Geller : Please take your time, it's an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin. Rachel Green : Blueberry. Ross Geller : Blueberry it is. Rachel Green : Thanks. Monica Geller : Wow, he's really not letting this go, is he? Rachel Green : God how long do you think that's gonna last? Phoebe Buffay : I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly. Rachel Green : Y'know I can't even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I can't believe how much I love her, I can't get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her. Phoebe Buffay : You know that's... that's her. Rachel Green : Oh god look at her sleeping. Oh, I love her so much! Oh, I think I'm gonna wake her up. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, Rach, no no, you know you're never supposed to wake a sleeping baby. Rachel Green : Well I can do whatever I want! I made her! Come on little girl, hi! Phoebe Buffay : I can say I told you so but she's kinda doing that for me. Rachel Green : Oh I'm sorry mummy's so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep. Monica Geller : Breaks your heart doesn't it. Phoebe Buffay : It really does... how long do you think we have to stay? Ms. Mckenna : Ok if everyone's on board, it's settled, Chandler, Chandler? Chandler Bing : Yep. Ms. Mckenna : Are you on board? Chandler Bing : Yes. Ms. Mckenna : Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. You're gonna love Oklahoma. Phoebe Buffay : Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe! Monica Geller : Alright here's something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side. Rachel Green : Ok. Monica Geller : It worked! Rachel Green : Oh oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it won't stop crying. Monica Geller : Umm, she Rach, not it, she. Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm not so sure. Monica Geller : Oh my god, I am losing my mind. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross! Ross Geller : Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? Gunther : Diapers huh? Ross Geller : Yep. Gunther : So I guess Rachel had you baby? Ross Geller : Yep, can you believe it? Gunther : Nope! I still can't believe she slept with you in the first place. Ross Geller : Huh? Ooh you mean like a... Huh? Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Ross, I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this. Ross Geller : Ah actually we don't. Joey Tribbiani : Fine, fine okay. But I gotta say technically, I didn't even do anything wrong. Ross Geller : What! You didn't do anything wrong?! Joey Tribbiani : I said I didn't technically. Ross Geller : Okay let's put aside that you "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you "accidentally" proposed to Rachel. Joey Tribbiani : Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this I don't really know what that means. You were saying? Ross Geller : And I can even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel, but why couldn't you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didn't. Joey Tribbiani : I know I should've. "I'm sorry." Ross Geller : Not using it right, Joe. Ross Geller : I'm gonna go. Joey Tribbiani : No, come on Ross! Look, Ross, we have to get past this. Ross Geller : Give me the bag. Joey Tribbiani : No, look, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry! Ross Geller : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me. Ross Geller : I'm not gonna hit you. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? You'll feel better! I'll feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes. Ross Geller : No I don't. Joey Tribbiani : A little bit. Ross Geller : No. Joey Tribbiani : Little bit. Ross Geller : No! Joey Tribbiani : A little bit more. Ross Geller : Give me the bag. Joey Tribbiani : No, hit me. Ross Geller : Give me the bag. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me. Ross Geller : Joey, give me the bag. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me! Ross Geller : Joe I'm not kidding. Joey Tribbiani : Hit me, hit me. Ross Geller : No! Joey Tribbiani : Hit me! Hit me! Ross Geller : You ducked!! Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry! It was a reflex! Ross Geller : Oh my god, this really hurts!!! Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! Ross Geller : What is the matter with you?!? Joey Tribbiani : You were supposed to duck!!! Why didn't you duck? Ross Geller : Why don't we talk about this on the way to the hospital? Joey Tribbiani : Good, good yeah, maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes. "Oops." Monica Geller : Try feeding her again. Rachel Green : I already fed her. Monica Geller : I know, that's why I said again! Phoebe Buffay : Alright you guys, we can't turn on each other, Okay? That's just what she wants. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute? Rachel Green : Oh no, you guys, just stay here, I'm gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs you wanna come? Phoebe Buffay : Oh I'm kinda part of this. Chandler Bing : Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing. Phoebe Buffay : I knew I should have married Chandler. Monica Geller : Okay what's up. Chandler Bing : Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux? Monica Geller : Oh yeah . Chandler Bing : Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma? Monica Geller : What? Who says that? Chandler Bing : People who've never ever been to Paris. Monica Geller : What's going on? Chandler Bing : We're moving to Tulsa! Monica Geller : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes. Monica Geller : Tulsa, Oklahoma! Chandler Bing : The Sooner State, whatever that is. Monica Geller : Chandler, I don't even wanna see the musical Oklahoma! Chandler Bing : Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top. Monica Geller : Are you trying to tell me that we're moving to Oklahoma, or that you're gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise? Chandler Bing : No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. I'll get out of it. Monica Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : What is wrong with Emma? Monica Geller : Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa. Chandler Bing : Umm ma'am, do you have a minute? I kind of have some bad news. I don't think I can move to Tulsa. Ms. Mckenna : What? Chandler Bing : It's a funny story, actually. I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying. Ms. Mckenna : You fell asleep? Chandler Bing : But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, ain't that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright . See, here's the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she won't go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is Italy-Please don't make me go there! Ms. Mckenna : Chandler, I. Chandler Bing : No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it, well she's lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. I'll call you from Tulsa. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so how is it? Ross Geller : I broke my thumb. Joey Tribbiani : Your thumb? That's weird. You sure you're punching right? Make a fist. Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible. Ross Geller : You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. Joey Tribbiani : You, you want me to help you with that? Ross Geller : Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen claw? Joey Tribbiani : Name? I know Ross but what's it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher. Ross Geller : Just Ross! Joey Tribbiani : It's pretty, Okay date of birth? Ross Geller : You know my birthday. Joey Tribbiani : Sure, May...tember. Ross Geller : October 18th. Joey Tribbiani : Occupation? Dinosaurs. Ross Geller : Actually I'm a palian... Dinosaurs is fine... the drawing is not. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, who do you want as your emergency contact? Ross Geller : Ah, Rachel I guess. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, relationship, boy this could take a while. Ross Geller : Just ah... just put roommate. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, you're gonna get together right? Ross Geller : I don't think that we are. Joey Tribbiani : But you two were supposed to be together. Ross Geller : Well, I thought so too, but then she said she'd marry you. Joey Tribbiani : Come on, Ross, that didn't mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody. Ross Geller : Yeah that's what she said. Joey Tribbiani : So? Ross Geller : So I don't wanna be just anybody. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Ross Geller : You know what, it's, it's better this way anyway. I mean I don't know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. It's just much easier if we're just friends who have a kid. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : And you're Okay with that? Ross Geller : Yes. I mean, it's what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. That's why they call them plans. Hello? I'm fine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, for what it's worth, with Rachel I don't think you'll ever be just "anybody." Ross Geller : Hey there you go! Joey Tribbiani : "Thanks." Rachel Green : Oh my God! How long has she been crying? Monica Geller : About a week and a half. Phoebe Buffay : Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so I'm just gonna go. No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! Monica Geller : Rach, try holding her a different way. Rachel Green : You guys, I'm doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, I'll try, fine! Yes, Okay! Rachel Green : Here you go. Phoebe Buffay : Shh! Nothing works with this child! Rachel Green : Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I can't even comfort my own baby! I'm the worst mother ever! Monica Geller : You're just new at this, it'll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldn't have been easy but you figured that out. Rachel Green : Yeah I don't think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her. Monica Geller : Okay I'll take her, here. Rachel Green : I have to go to the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : I have to go scream into a pillow. Monica Geller : Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. Phoebe Buffay : Have I gone deaf? Monica Geller : It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby! Phoebe Buffay : You must be a fireball in bed. Monica Geller : I can't believe it! She's asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers! Phoebe Buffay : I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! I'm kidding. Rachel Green : Oh my God! You got her to stop crying! Monica Geller : Yes I did, I'm Monica, Super Aunt. Rachel Green : You are the official baby crier stopper! Monica Geller : Yes I am!! Rachel Green : You're never leaving the apartment! Monica Geller : Say what? Rachel Green : That's your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here. Monica Geller : Oh no no no no! Phoebe Buffay : Thankfully you don't need me at all so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel let's give it six to eight months . Rachel Green : Okay so listen I'm gonna go lay down. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : You know the book says that whenever she's sleeping I should be sleeping so... Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep. Chandler Bing : Oh so there can't be any yelling. Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : We're moving to Tulsa. Monica Geller : What!? Chandler Bing : Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! I can't, I can't hear you. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Heeeeey, where have you been? What happened to you? Ross Geller : Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him. Rachel Green : Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay? Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : You know what I really really want? Ross Geller : What, Rach? Rachel Green : I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again. Ross Geller : Right. Rachel Green : I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy. Ross Geller : Well, that's what I'm here for. Want me to get that? Rachel Green : No its really okay... Monica! Monica Geller : Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Joey Tribbiani : You know, ah, I've been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, it's not my fault. It's a natural instinct. Chandler Bing : Hey, what you guys talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for? Chandler Bing : Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Monday?! Joey Tribbiani : How long do you have to go for? Chandler Bing : They said it could be up to a year. Joey Tribbiani : A year?! Rachel Green : Do you have to go? Monica Geller : I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing. Chandler Bing : There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it. Joey Tribbiani : We were gonna go see the Jets! Ross Geller : You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together! Chandler Bing : Really? Ross Geller : Not you. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you guys are moving. Phoebe Buffay : I call their apartment!!! #ALL# : No!!! Ah!! Ahh!!! Joey Tribbiani : Here you are. Rachel Green : Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine. Ross Geller : I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk. Rachel Green : Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener. Joey Tribbiani :  Rachel Green : Every time? Joey Tribbiani : Uhuh. Ross Geller : Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this. Rachel Green : All right, I trust you. Ross Geller : Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why... Rachel Green : I'm on the phone! Dr. Wiener? Joey Tribbiani :  Phoebe Buffay : It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up. Joey Tribbiani : I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. Phoebe Buffay : Look at you all grown up. Joey Tribbiani : Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot. Phoebe Buffay : You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date! Joey Tribbiani : I can do that, yeah. How is Friday? Phoebe Buffay : Done. Oh good, really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Let's see! Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack. Joey Tribbiani : Poophack... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... All right, well that rules out Lana Titweiller. Joey Tribbiani :  Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : I've got good news! Monica Geller : You got out of the whole Tulsa thing? Chandler Bing : Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job. Monica Geller : It's great! How? Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you. Monica Geller : So you're gonna be gone four days a week? No. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that? Monica Geller : No. I can't be away from you for that long. Chandler Bing : Really? Monica Geller : Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year. Chandler Bing : That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa. Monica Geller : Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you. Chandler Bing : Hey, you said that without gagging! Monica Geller : I know! Rachel Green : Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! Ross Geller : Who the hell was that?! Rachel Green : Dr. Wiener. Ross Geller : Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning. Rachel Green : Oh you know what, you sound just like his wife! Ross Geller : Was there anything you did wrong with Emma? Rachel Green : Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane! Ross Geller : Well, what was it? Rachel Green : Hiccups. Ross Geller : Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up. Rachel Green : Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name? Ross Geller : Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead. Rachel Green : Argh! Why does everything happen to me?! Ross Geller : Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well. Rachel Green : What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot. Ross Geller : You know? Come to think of it, it does feel Rubella-like! Rachel Green : Wiener, Wiener Wiener, Wiener!!! Ross Geller : Rachel!!! Rachel Green : Great! Now he's gonna know it was me! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : So how is this for our big double date tonight? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget? Phoebe Buffay : Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy. Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Come on, give me something. What's his name? Joey Tribbiani : Mike. Phoebe Buffay : Mike? Okay! What's his last name? Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore!? Phoebe Buffay : All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours. Joey Tribbiani :  Joey Tribbiani : Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... There's no guy in there! Rachel Green : It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee? Monica Geller : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : I know what she's talking about. Rachel Green : We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it. Monica Geller : Why don't you go see Dr. Gettleman? Rachel Green : Ross said he died. Monica Geller : He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox. Rachel Green : Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died. Monica Geller : Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist. Chandler Bing : He saw a therapist? Monica Geller : Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out. Rachel Green : Why? What was it? Monica Geller : That I was going to eat him. Joey Tribbiani : MIKE!!! Mike Hannigan : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Okay! Mike Hannigan : I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks. Joey Tribbiani : Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike. Mike Hannigan : I am Mike. Joey Tribbiani : Atta boy! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, look... #ALL# :  Phoebe Buffay : Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway? Mike Hannigan : How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that. Joey Tribbiani : From school. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, we met in college. I mean, high school. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days? Mike Hannigan : Well, I'm a lawyer. Joey Tribbiani : Mike, 'attorney at law'! Mike Hannigan : Actually, I just gave up my practice. Joey Tribbiani : What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me. Mike Hannigan : I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so... Joey Tribbiani : Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike. Mary Ellen : I thought you thought he was still a lawyer. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa. Monica Geller : That's so sweet. Find anything? Chandler Bing : Slim Pickings. Monica Geller : Nothing, huh? Chandler Bing : No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite. Monica Geller : 'Slim Pickings'...That is so cheesy. Chandler Bing : 'So Cheesy' also has an opening. Monica Geller : Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something. Chandler Bing : Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa. Monica Geller : Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo 'I'll take it!' Rachel Green : Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma. Receptionist : Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly. Dr. Gettleman : I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep. Ross Geller : Thanks doctor. Dr. Gettleman : Would you like a lollypop? Ross Geller : You even have to ask?! He is alive! Phoebe Buffay : You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car. Mike Hannigan : No, I didn't. Joey Tribbiani : That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great! Mary Ellen Wait, is your mom okay? Joey Tribbiani : Please, we're trying to have a conversation. Mary Ellen : Wow, you're a lot nicer on 'Days of Our Lives'. Mike Hannigan : 'Days of Our Lives'! That's why you look so familiar! Phoebe Buffay : What?! Mike Hannigan : What?! Joey Tribbiani : What?! Phoebe Buffay : Do you not know each other? Joey Tribbiani : Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?! Phoebe Buffay : Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have? Mike Hannigan : Six! Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? I said seven! Argh!!! Phoebe Buffay : Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger? Joey Tribbiani : Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry. Mike Hannigan : I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car. Phoebe Buffay : You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose. Mary Ellen : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Who are you kidding? You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating! Joey Tribbiani : Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. Mike!! Mike!! Phoebe Buffay : I'm out of here. Mike Hannigan : It was nice meeting you! Joey Tribbiani : You're leaving too? Mary Ellen : I'll stay if you can tell me my name. Joey Tribbiani : Good night! Chandler Bing : Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do. Monica Geller : You're right. Maybe I shouldn't go. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo . It's just a little outside of Tulsa. Chandler Bing : How far outside? Monica Geller : Manhattan. Chandler Bing : And you're thinking of taking it? So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, me, new job. Monica Geller : I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Chandler Bing : What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'? Monica Geller : Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend. Chandler Bing : I think you should take the job. Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey. Monica Geller : That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : How was the pediatrician? Rachel Green : Oh, I really liked him. Yeah, it was really, really, really good. Ross Geller : You promised you wouldn't say anything. Rachel Green : I know. Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! I don't care! Monica Geller : Are you serious? You still see Dr. Gettleman? Ross Geller : He's a brilliant diagnostician! Chandler Bing : Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer? Rachel Green : Ross, seriously! You've gotta go to an appropriate doctor. Ross Geller : Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!' Chandler Bing : Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy? Ross Geller : Hey, I seem to remember someone bringing his security blanket to college! Chandler Bing : That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging! Ross Geller : It didn't spend much time on the wall!!! Mike Hannigan : Excuse me, hi. I was hoping I would run into you. Can we talk? Phoebe Buffay : Sure. Mike Hannigan : I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer...Apparently I'm not a funny guy. Phoebe Buffay : Why did you go along with that? Mike Hannigan : Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did. Phoebe Buffay : That's true. Well, is anything you told me about yourself true? Mike Hannigan : My name in Mike, and I do play piano. Phoebe Buffay : Prove it. Mike Hannigan : There isn't a piano here. Phoebe Buffay : That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist. Mike Hannigan :  Phoebe Buffay : You are really good! I play a little guitar myself. Mike Hannigan : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh. Mike Hannigan : That's great. What kind of music do you play? Phoebe Buffay : Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers. Mike Hannigan : Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could... Phoebe Buffay : It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out. Mike Hannigan : Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out? Joey Tribbiani :  Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice. Joey Tribbiani : Look at this. My two best friends! Ross Geller : Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me. Receptionist : The doctor will be right with you sir. Girl : Mommy, I can't find Waldo. Ross Geller : With the circus? He's behind the elephant. Woman : Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too? Ross Geller : Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way. Sally : Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent? Ross Geller : I am a single parent. Sally : It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone? Ross Geller : Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office. Nurse : Rossy, we're ready for you. Ross Geller : Hmm, yeah. Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in. Boy : Mommy. Girl : Mommy, what's wrong with that man? Ross Geller : Hey, I helped you find Waldo! Ross Geller : Oh good, you haven't left yet. Monica Geller : Where have you been? Ross Geller : I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out. Chandler Bing : Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. Ross Geller : Oh man. Monica Geller : Promise to call me when you land. Chandler Bing : Of course I will call you. I love you. Monica Geller : I love you too. Rachel Green : Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here. Phoebe Buffay : Bye Chandler. Chandler Bing : Awww. Bye! Rachel Green : Bye honey. Chandler Bing : What's the matter Joe? Joey Tribbiani : I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase. Chandler Bing : Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, you see right thru me!! Chandler Bing : Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye-bye! Good trip! Monica Geller : Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, new job, you. This is just something I have to do. Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : I love you so much. Chandler Bing : I know that too. Chandler Bing : Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise. Joey Tribbiani : Double promise? Call me when you land. Monica Geller : Can I talk now? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, bye. Monica Geller : Joey? Joey Tribbiani : He had to board. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up? Ross Geller : sure. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me? Ross Geller : people so why you all dressed up. Phoebe Buffay : oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date. Ross Geller : oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious? Phoebe Buffay : oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market. Ross Geller : you know I really admire your whole dating attitude, it's so healthy I'm always like is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going? Phoebe Buffay : yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen. Ross Geller : but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious. Phoebe Buffay : I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy well what about ok well there's gotta be someone. Ross Geller : There isn't that's what I'm saying. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god you're right. Ross Geller : I know and yet here you are all ready for the next date. Phoebe Buffay : I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god what's wrong with me. Ross Geller : no, no, no there's nothing wrong with you I mean you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway. Phoebe Buffay : I wanna get married. Ross Geller : please don't cry because of me pheebs I don't know what I'm talking about, I've been divorced three times. Phoebe Buffay : least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe what's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa. Ross Geller : I'm sorry I didn't catch. Mike Hannigan : its Mike Hanagen. Ross Geller : Oh Ross Geller. Mike Hannigan : Hey, so are you sure your ready to go. Phoebe Buffay : uh huh how do I look. Ross Geller : do you have a compact in your purse? Phoebe Buffay : No. Ross Geller : you look great. Monica Geller : : hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think? Monica Geller : : Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma. Joey Tribbiani : Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler? Monica Geller : : yeah he has to stay in Tulsa this weekend. Joey Tribbiani : how come? Monica Geller : : he has to work, there's some rush on the big ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job. Joey Tribbiani : oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him. Monica Geller : : maybe I will go yea will have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa romana. Joey Tribbiani : oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. Monica Geller : : how do you know I have one of those? Joey Tribbiani : didn't till just now. Joey Tribbiani : hot not hot Hot! Hayley : excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : I said I think you're hot and now I'm embarrassed. Hayley : oh I thought you said Hi. Joey Tribbiani : that would've been better, I'll try that Hi I'm Joey. Hayley : I'm Hayley. Joey Tribbiani : look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses. Gunther : HA! Joey Tribbiani : gesundheit. Hayley : I would love to go out with you. Joey Tribbiani : really, great, did I actually ask you? Hayley : no that's just where you were going I just figured that I'd help you out, you don't seem like the kind of guy that does this very a lot. Gunther : HA! Joey Tribbiani : seriously Gunther you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! Ross Geller : so how'd the date go? Phoebe Buffay : well it was awful every time I thought about what you said I started crying. Ross Geller : So he hasn't called? Phoebe Buffay : would you call this girl? thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing. Ross Geller : now I feel terrible this is all my fault. Phoebe Buffay : well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that? Ross Geller : We are a rare breed. Hayley : what a great dinner. Joey Tribbiani : yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant. Hayley : your welcome again, I'm gonna make some coffee can I get you anything? Joey Tribbiani : do you have any cake? >>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place. Joey Tribbiani : AWCH! That's why. Ross Geller : Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in? Mike Hannigan : Sure who are you? Ross Geller : I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse. Mike Hannigan : Oh. Ross Geller : yeah I really, really need to talk to you about something. Mike Hannigan : Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you? Ross Geller : No. Mike Hannigan : oh it's just you have that look. Ross Geller : Damn super cuts! Mike Hannigan : what's up is Phoebe ok? Ross Geller : oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset. Mike Hannigan : that's why she was weird. Ross Geller : yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off. Mike Hannigan : I'm not blowing her off, I actually just got off the phone with her, were going out tomorrow night, I mean I hope that's ok with you stranger from the coffee house. Ross Geller : well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered. Mike Hannigan : hey wait wait wait wait wait! Is that true what you said Phoebe's never had a serious relationship? Ross Geller : of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron. Mike Hannigan : but you did say it. Ross Geller : yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-a-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum. Mike Hannigan : Vicrum? Ross Geller : WHAT THAT'S A REAL NAME! Chandler Bing : Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o clock maybe I'll hit the gym who am I kidding pay-per-view porn. -Cuts to Monica. Chandler Bing : DO NOT DISTURB DO NOT DISTURB! Monica: Monica Geller : : is everything all right? Chandler Bing : everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. Monica Geller : : I'm gonna go freshen up ok. Chandler Bing : Ok honey. that was close. -Cut to Rachel. Rachel Green : Hello. Monica Geller : : Hey Rach its me ok I just got the Chandler's room and I caught him molesting himself. Rachel Green : Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that. Monica Geller : : yea well the weird part is... he was getting off to a shark attack show! Rachel Green : Nooooooooo! Monica Geller : : Yes! Chandler Watches Shark Porn! Rachel Green : well watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing? Monica Geller : : do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that, believe me I know what he was doing. Rachel Green : man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what. Monica Geller : : what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws! Rachel Green : Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice. Monica Geller : : Eww are you talking about my bother. Rachel Green : yeah I didn't disguise that very well did i. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date I realized I already slept with her. Rachel Green : so basically you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again. Joey Tribbiani : well that's not even the weird part. I don't think she remembered sleeping with me. Monica Geller : : But you don't remember sleeping with her. Joey Tribbiani : yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know. Rachel Green : what, how do we know, we never slept with you. Joey Tribbiani : and who's fault is that. Monica Geller : : what's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night. Joey Tribbiani : HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST! Monica Geller : : Honey why don't you just let it go and ask her out again. Rachel Green : yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other. Joey Tribbiani : Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it OH SALT BLOATY! Monica Geller : : Joey, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What? Monica Geller : : you don't think sharks are sexy do you? Joey Tribbiani : No. wait a minute what was the little mermaid? Phoebe Buffay : It's open. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : HEY! Mike called were going out again! YAY! YAY! Ross Geller : YAY! quick thing, I went to talk to Mike. Phoebe Buffay : What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS! Ross Geller : oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that. Phoebe Buffay : WHAT! Ross Geller : umm. that you had a six year long relationship with a guy named Vicrum. Phoebe Buffay : WHAT! WHY? Ross Geller : well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship. Phoebe Buffay : If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW! Ross Geller : well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer and he used to date Oprah. Phoebe Buffay : I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him. Ross Geller : Good yeah just be honest with him. Phoebe Buffay : yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh. Ross Geller : I'll get it. Phoebe Buffay : ok. Mike Hannigan : You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh yeah there's just something umm, there's something you should know Vicrum just called. Hayley : so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest. Joey Tribbiani : Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me? Hayley : What? Joey Tribbiani : How could you not remember that we slept together? Hayley : What! When? Joey Tribbiani : I dunno! Hayley : I really, really think I would remember sleeping with you. Joey Tribbiani : come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex here, here, here NOT there. Anything? Hayley : no it's not ringing any bells. Joey Tribbiani : my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this? Hayley's Roommate : Hey Hayley you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. so were good. I'll let myself out. Phoebe Buffay : .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel. Mike Hannigan : But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross. Phoebe Buffay : yeah well yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee. Mike Hannigan : that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer. Phoebe Buffay : I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer. Mike Hannigan : I just think there's somebody better out there for you, I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Mike Hannigan : and you don't have to worry about glue sniffing with me. although I do smell the occasional magic marker, yeah ah anyway I just think I can make you happy. Phoebe Buffay : ok I can't do this. Mike Hannigan : what's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward You kissed me. Mike Hannigan : uh huh. Phoebe Buffay : so you don't think I'm a total freak. Mike Hannigan : No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you. Phoebe Buffay : I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers. Mike Hannigan : Definitely. Ross Geller : This is Vicrum. Chandler Bing : Hi honey I'm home! Monica Geller : : Hi, how was your flight? Chandler Bing : oh it was great. Monica Geller : : Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. have a little surprise for you. Chandler Bing : well, well, well it must be five in Tulsa because it's six o clock IN NY.C! Monica Geller : : Ok This is how much I love you. Chandler Bing : Honey why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around. Monica Geller : : Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier. Chandler Bing : no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all. Monica Geller : : Oh well this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks? Chandler Bing : does what always have to be sharks. Monica Geller : : Honey look we can do something else, do you want me to get into the tub and thrash. Chandler Bing : What's going on? Monica Geller : : sweetie it's ok, I still love you, let me be a part of this. Chandler Bing : let ME be a part of this! Monica Geller : : I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. angry sharks turn you on! Chandler Bing : no they don't. Monica Geller : : then why were you watching them and giving YOURSELF a treat. Chandler Bing : OH MY GOD! When you came in I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn. Monica Geller : : really? Chandler Bing : yeah just some good old fashion girl on girl American action. Monica Geller : : I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! Chandler Bing : You are an amazing wife. No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that. Monica Geller : : Im very, very drunk right now. Joey Tribbiani : see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her? Phoebe Buffay : you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious. Joey Tribbiani : your right! I love my life! I actually did sleep with her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh hey you guys, I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead. Joey Tribbiani : Thursday? But that's Halloween. Phoebe Buffay : So? Joey Tribbiani : So spooky, that's all. Ross Geller : So, so, is Mike coming to dinner? Phoebe Buffay : No! It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it's a little to soon to show my true colors. Rachel Green : Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. Which one of us should go to dinner? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Rachel! Ross Geller : Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yay! Ross Geller : Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven't been together the six of us in such a long time. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? We're all together right now. Rachel Green : Um, Mon, Chandler's not here. Monica Geller : Oh, dear god! Chandler Bing : Good morning everyone, it's nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? Yes, Ken is it? Ken : That's right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to? Chandler Bing : Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken. But yeah, that's true. Alright, let's get started, by take a look at last quarter's figures. Ah, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses' ass? Claudia : I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you? Chandler Bing : No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can't remember why. You're not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right? Claudia : Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. Would you like one? Chandler Bing : Alright, lo...look. I don't smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine. So you all smoke then? That's almost rude, that I'm not. Ken : That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke ... Chandler Bing : Ken, please! No, I can't, I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me. Ken : I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York? Chandler Bing : I always liked you, Ken. Phoebe Buffay : Trick or treat! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, and treat it is. Monica Geller : Hmhmm. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, so glad I changed. Almost wore my ??? outfit that can't contain my breasts. Monica Geller : This is not, what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating and Chandler's gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner. Phoebe Buffay : Ohh. Oh wait! you guys won't be late for my dinner, will you? Monica Geller : Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We'll probably be the first ones there. Phoebe Buffay : 'kay, see you there. Happy humping! Hey...hey! Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, don't people know, you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces? Chandler Bing : Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people. Phoebe Buffay : You smoked! Chandler Bing : No! I just happened t'do a lot trivias about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called Leyhallalookoos. Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, you stink of cigarettes. Chandler Bing : Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound ... and the breasts of a Greek goddess. Chandler Bing : Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : I'm gonna go. Chandler Bing : Okay, something to cover the smell ... Oven cleaner! Unscented! Monica Geller : Welcome home. I've missed you. join me in the bedroom? Chandler Bing : No thanks, I'm good. Monica Geller : O-kay, so you wanna play it that way, do you? Chandler Bing : Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so I'm feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower. Monica Geller : You don't need a shower. Chandler Bing : Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself during some turbulences. Monica Geller : What do I smell? I smell smoke. Huh-did you smoke? Chandler Bing : Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack...a...a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. But it's over, I made a decision, I'm not gonna smoke anymore. Monica Geller :  Chandler Bing : But, those are for you. Ross Geller : Alright, we'll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. Huh, that was my mom, she's stuck in terrible traffic. Rachel Green : Okay, well that's now the third sign that I should not leave Emma. Ross Geller : Oh, what were the other two? Rachel Green : Well, let's see. The first one is: I don't want to. And, you know, I'm not going. Ross Geller : I know, it's the first time, we're leaving the baby and ... hey, I know how hard it is for you, but ... but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She's great with kids. Rachel Green : She is? Ross Geller : Ya. Rachel Green : What about Monica. Ross Geller : Hey, you only heard Monica's side of that. That little fatso was a terror. Rachel Green : Ish. I just don't think I can bear it. Ross Geller : Rachel, I know that you can. And you should. Rachel Green : Uch. Ross Geller : Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don't you, why don't you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I'll meet you there. Rachel Green : Oh-A. Ross Geller : No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. Rachel Green : You need to learn some new slang. Ross Geller : I'm serious. C'mon, you should go. Here. No, uh-uh, just go. Rachel Green : What ... Oh! Ross Geller : No! No, you know what? You , the baby's fine, now squam . Yeah, story walking. Rachel Green : I was just going to say that I left my keys. Ross Geller : Oh, holy molly are we in a pickle now. Phoebe Buffay : Where is everyone? They're forty minutes late. Joey Tribbiani : I know, u-uch. Phoebe Buffay : I'm starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day. Joey Tribbiani : What about me, he? Only had one lunch today. Waiter : Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing. Waiter : Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable. Joey Tribbiani : No, they're comin', we're waitin' right here. Phoebe Buffay : Joseph! Thou needn't worry, they shan't be long. Waiter : It's just that we do have some large parties waiting. Phoebe Buffay : One really does have a stick up one's ass. Doesn't one? Monica Geller : How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it's chilling. Chandler Bing : I messed up, it was a meeting, everybody was smoking. Monica Geller : So what? Don't you have any will power? Chandler Bing : Will power? I've watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs without taking the tin foil off. Monica Geller : You said that was sexy! Chandler Bing : 'kay, look: Can we just drop this? I'm not gonna smoke again. Monica Geller : That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again. Chandler Bing : You forbid me? Monica Geller : Mhmm. Chandler Bing : You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way? Monica Geller : Don't joke with me, okay? I'm very, very upset right now. Chandler Bing : Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be? Monica Geller : Yes. Chandler Bing : Then, I might as well ... do this . Not really sure what to do now. Monica Geller : Well, I'll tell you what we're gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe's birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we're gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex. Chandler Bing : Fine. What!? Monica Geller : Sex! This is the last day I'm ovulating, and when we don't do it now, we'll have to wait till next month. Chandler Bing : You serious? Monica Geller : Oh yeah! Chandler Bing : Right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking. Monica Geller : Huh, and no cuddling. Chandler Bing : And no kissing your neck. Monica Geller : Oh good, I hate it when you do that. Chandler Bing : And lots of kissing your neck. Ross Geller : Okay, well the ??? is not home. Rachel Green : No. Uch. Ross Geller : Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys. Rachel Green : Alright, I can't, I can't wait that long. You have to do something-knock that door down! Ross Geller : I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y...you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping. Rachel Green : What if she jumped out the bassinet? Ross Geller : Can't hold her own head up, but yeah jumped. Rachel Green : Oh my god, I left the water running. Ross Geller : Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay? Rachel Green : Ah, did I leave the stove on? Ross Geller : You never cooked since 1996. Rachel Green : Is the window open? Because if there's a window open, a bird could fly in there. Ross Geller : Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think ... listen, listen! Rachel Green : Ubb. Ross Geller : A pigeon, a pigeon. No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment. Rachel Green : Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true. Waiter : Hello. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Waiter : It's been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe we should just eat now. Waiter : You can't order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy. Joey Tribbiani : Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there's still some food left on their place, okay, what's the restaurant's policy about people eatin' that? Waiter : Estrangement . Joey Tribbiani : But it happens? I'm gotta go to the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : No, you can't go. No-no-no, I can't hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave. Joey Tribbiani : If you ask me to stay, I'll pee. Maitre D' : Good evening, Miss. Miss? Miss? Miss! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, fine, I'll move. Alright, you don't have to manhandle me. Where? Okay. Thank you. Wach. Joey Tribbiani : Finally you guys made it. Pheebs, who the hell-uhuhh! Monica Geller : Spend more time with the tie. That'll make a baby. Chandler Bing : Look, I can't do this. I can't make luv to you while we're fighting this way. Monica Geller : Oh sure, now you're Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle's funeral. Chandler Bing : That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I'm not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived? Monica Geller : No, you're right. Mnya, we shouldn't do it like this. Huch. For what it's worth, I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world. Chandler Bing : Mean it? Monica Geller : Yah. Chandler Bing : You are incredible. Unless, I...I'm not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. Monica Geller : D'you want to? Chandler Bing : Yeah, let's celebrate life! Monica Geller : 'kay. Rachel Green : Och, god. Oh, thank god, you're okay. I'm so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch. Ross Geller : Great. So let's get going? Rachel Green : Oh no. I mean it. After what just happened, I'm never leaving her again. Judy Geller : I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: "Mommy, I'm a girl, take me with you." Ross Geller : Somehow over time it got easier to be apart from you. Chandler Bing : Uhh. You are welcome. Monica Geller : You know what? Let's not talk. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Uch. I am still so mad at you for smoking. Chandler Bing : But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettes-no big deal. Monica Geller : Oh, blablablabaybaybay. Chandler Bing : Leave it. Monica Geller : I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn't have sex with me while we're fighting. Chandler Bing : You tricked me to get me into bed? Monica Geller : That's right, I got mine. Chandler Bing : I feel so used. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I guess they're not coming. You wanna just order? Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Waiter! 'lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. Waiter : Er-does not. Phoebe Buffay : Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend? Waiter : Oh, they're both exclus... Phoebe Buffay : Both it is, thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it's ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don't care. Rachel Green : Hey, hi, hi! Waiter : I'll just wait to put your order in. Phoebe Buffay : You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two? Ross Geller : I'm so sorry ... Rachel Green : We got locked out of the apartment, we ... Joey Tribbiani : That's a great story-can I eat it? Ross Geller : And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby. Rachel Green : N-it wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I got to do. Phoebe Buffay : And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma? Rachel Green : Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I'm not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she's doing at home and I'm being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : She spit up. Judy! She spi...Judy! Look alive, Judy! Thank you. Ross Geller : Thanks. Oh. Rachel Green : Oh, ooh, everything looks delicious. What should I ha-ave? What should I have? Joey Tribbiani : Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman. Ross Geller : Y'know this ??? is incredible. Joey Tribbiani : Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach. Ross Geller : Okay, I'll have the fixed salad and the duck. Rachel Green : Yah, I'll have the soup and the salmon. Joey Tribbiani : And remember whatever comes up first. Okay? And hurry, because ... Monica Geller : Happy birthday! Joey Tribbiani : Son of a bitch! Phoebe Buffay : Wher-where have you been? Monica Geller : Well, we had a little fight. Chandler Bing : I would never lie to get someone into bed. Monica Geller : You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn't it? How d'you get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck. Chandler Bing : I suppose that Monica will have the ... manipulative shrew. Waiter : I'll give you another minute. Joey Tribbiani : Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! Ross Geller : Rach, c'mon, Emma is fine. You're turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop. Rachel Green : Y'guys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon? Chandler Bing : You mean the lully story? Ross Geller : Huh-huh, they already know it. Phoebe Buffay : You guys, we've been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, it's okay, I already told the waiter what they want. Monica Geller : Why would you do that? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, control your woman! Rachel Green : Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast ... to Phoebe. She dropped her sock. Phoebe Buffay : Aw ... what? Rachel Green : N-no, Emma dropped her sock. Monica Geller : Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town. Rachel Green : Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground. Phoebe Buffay : 's a good toast. Rachel Green : Could you please get her attention? Ross Geller : W-oa ... Mommy! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, for god's sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! I'm sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt the hideousness that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn't even have the courtesy to call. Well, it's too late now. Ross Geller : Well, ??? think that's us? Phoebe Buffay : well, this is, this is, this is not over! Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Well, what is going on with you two? Monica Geller : Uch, you see, I'm ovulating. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, that's what she says. But maybe you're not ovulating at all, maybe it's just a clever ruse to get me into bed. Monica Geller : Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can't get enough. Chandler Bing : You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked me into having sex with her. Joey Tribbiani : So? Did have sex, right? Chandler Bing : What's the matter with me? Why I'm such a girl? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, that was Mike. Rachel Green : Phoebe, hi, we're so sorry. You're totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration. Phoebe Buffay : Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, I'm gonna take off. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I'm not t-not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! Judy! Bye. Rachel Green : Oh thank god, if Phoebe's going, can we please take Emma home? Ross Geller : You know, I think that's a good idea-our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. Bye, y'guys. Monica Geller : Bye. Joey Tribbiani : See ya. Well, this is just us. Chandler Bing : Mhum. Monica Geller : So, I'm, I'm probably still ovulating. Do you want to give it another try? Chandler Bing : So you never had sex with a Kennedy, have you? Joey Tribbiani : Do, do you gonna do it now? Monica Geller : We don't have much time. Once the egg descended the oviduct ... Joey Tribbiani : No-ohoh. Maitre D' : I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning. Joey Tribbiani : Nah, just me. All alone. Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special. Waiter : How was everything, sir? Joey Tribbiani : Excellent. The shrew in particular was exclusive. Waiter : Well, I hope, you got some room left. Waiters : Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear ... Joey Tribbiani : Joey! Joey. Waiters : ... Joey, happy birthday to you. Joey Tribbiani : That's the best birthday ever. Chandler Bing : Hello? Hello? Monica Geller : I LOVE MY NEW JOB! Chandler Bing : Honey, you're screaming. Monica Geller : YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's great. Monica Geller : Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean. Chandler Bing : Awesome. Monica Geller : Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. Mike Hannigan : This is nice. Phoebe Buffay : I know! Mike Hannigan : You need both hands for that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I kinda do. Well, how's this? Joey Tribbiani : Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? Have you not talked about it yet? Am I making you uncomfortable? If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation. Mike Hannigan : Is it? Phoebe Buffay : Maybe not, is it? Mike Hannigan : Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... No, not... that's gum. Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there... Phoebe Buffay : I know Mike, why don't you keep digging? Mike Hannigan : Oh, sorry. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars. Mike Hannigan : It's to my apartment. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because... Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, I want to. Mike Hannigan : Oh, thank God. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. Mike Hannigan : Is this cool, huh? Phoebe Buffay : It really is. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! Rachel Green : So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her. Prospective Nanny : I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. Rachel Green : That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us? Prospective Nanny : Not really. Rachel Green : Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... Ross Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you. Prospective Nanny : Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. Do you guys do random drug testing? Ross Geller : Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that. Prospective Nanny : That's cool. But... but if you do, I'm gonna need three days notice. Rachel Green : Okidoki! Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny. Ross Geller : Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with. Rachel Green : What, the blonde with no bra? Ross Geller : She was blonde? Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years. Rachel Green : Okay... Sandy : Hi... I'm Sandy. Ross Geller : And she's a little mannish... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! David! David : Hi! I-i-is this a bad time? Phoebe Buffay : No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk? David : Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing. Phoebe Buffay : Who cares, it got you here. David : Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it. Phoebe Buffay : Wow. Where is your luggage? David : Damn it! Phoebe Buffay : A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company. David : Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good. David : Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? Phoebe Buffay : No... Phoebe Buffay : I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike? Monica Geller : Maybe he didn't give you a chance. Phoebe Buffay : He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no... Monica Geller : Oh, well... That had been your window. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible. Monica Geller : Really? The scientist guy? Phoebe Buffay : Really? Chandler? Monica Geller : Continue... Phoebe Buffay : Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : I know! Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God! Monica Geller : Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys? Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am. Monica Geller : What are you gonna do? Phoebe Buffay : I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong... Monica Geller : You have to tell David! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey. Chandler Bing : Funniest guy she's ever met! I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... Save it for inside! Monica Geller : Heeeeeey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch. Monica Geller : Was your cabin pressurised? Chandler Bing : And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right? Monica Geller : No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right? Chandler Bing : Yeah, he came up... Monica Geller : Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. Chandler Bing : Were you there? Phoebe Buffay : No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny... Sandy : I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... Rachel Green : Sandy, that's exactly what it is... Ross Geller : Are you gay? Rachel Green : Ross! Sandy : It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do. But I am straight. I-I'm engaged actually. Rachel Green : Oh! Sandy : Her name is Deliah. Rachel Green : Oh, that's pretty. Ross Geller : So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny? Sandy : I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child. Ross Geller : Okay. Sandy : Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I Left, I Said I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... Ross Geller : Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. Rachel Green : Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed. Sandy : Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want... Rachel Green : Oh, that would be great! I love him, I love him, I love him... Ross Geller : Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy! Rachel Green : So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out. Ross Geller : Because, it's weird! Rachel Green : Why? Ross Geller : What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be... Rachel Green : Yes? Ross Geller : King? Sandy : I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... Rachel Green : Please? YES! Sandy you're hired. Sandy : That's great! I'm sorry. It's just... such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family... Rachel Green : Oooh... ***I really can't hear what she says*** come here. Ross Geller : You gotta be at least bi... Chandler Bing : Hey! I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh. I-I don't know Chan. I'm not so good with remembering lines. Chandler Bing : Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it. Joey Tribbiani : I know, right? Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this? Chandler Bing : Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met. Joey Tribbiani : Seriously? She actually said that? Chandler Bing : Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset? Joey Tribbiani : Nooooo! Being funny is your thing! Chandler Bing : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Without that, you just got "lame with women". Chandler Bing : Ye.... Monica Geller : Hi! There you are. Joey Tribbiani : Fire trucks! David : Wow, you look even... more beautiful than you did yesterday. Phoebe Buffay : Oof... David : In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, wait, wait! David : Yeah, I-I don't, I can't get away with stuff like that. I-I-It sounded sexy in my head, so I... Phoebe Buffay : No, no, it's not that. Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike. David : Oh... oh... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I should have told you. David : No... well, yeah. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. David : Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy? Phoebe Buffay : I am happy. David : Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go... Phoebe Buffay : Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. David : Well... just so you know... hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival either... Can we at least hug goodbye? Phoebe Buffay : Of course, yeah. You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate... David : No... no... Phoebe Buffay : I mean... David : In Minsk... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? David : ...it's uhm... i-it's two on each cheek and uhm... and one on the lips. Phoebe Buffay : Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... In New York... it's... Rachel Green : Oh... Oh boy... Hi... Ross Geller : Is everything allright? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiance and it was just sooo beautiful. Sandy : Well, her favourite flower is the camellia. From the poem... Rachel Green : I can't... I can't hear it again. Sandy : You know, I can't tell it again... Ross Geller : And I'm fine never having heard it... Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec? Rachel Green : Yeah! Excuse me... Ross Geller : Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in. Rachel Green : Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all. Ross Geller : Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. Rachel Green : What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby? Ross Geller : Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... These are amazing! Rachel Green : Sandy made Madeleines. Ross Geller : This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. Rachel Green : Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle. Ross Geller : Hey... there's sensitive... and there is too sensitive. Rachel Green : Okay, what? What is too sensitive? Phoebe Buffay : Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad. David : But... I-I-It's nice... A-a-and... nice is good. A-a-and good is not bad, ergo, w-w-we should keep kissing. Phoebe Buffay : No, no. No. David : But... ergo... Phoebe Buffay : Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him... David : Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... Mike Hannigan : Well... hey, the key works...! Phoebe Buffay : And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you. Ross Geller : Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny? Monica Geller : Yeah! I think that's great! Ross Geller : Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines? Monica Geller : Oh... How are they? Ross Geller : Lighter than air... But that's not the point. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny. Joey Tribbiani : Really...? Guys do that...? That's... weird... Ross Geller : Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : That's like a woman wanting to be a... Ross Geller : ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence? Monica Geller : Yes... What is the end of that sentence? Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... A penis model. Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met? Monica Geller : Yeah, so? Ross Geller : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : Really? Do you not know Chandler? Monica Geller : Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey... Joey Tribbiani : So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... Ross Geller : Science...? Academia...? Being a good father...? Joey Tribbiani : ...No... Monica Geller : I can't believe he's that upset about this... Joey Tribbiani : Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Heeeyy! Hey! Chandler Bing : What are you guys talking about? Ross Geller : Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. Chandler Bing : You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? Chandler Bing : You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. Monica Geller : Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister! Chandler Bing : If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. Monica Geller : Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! Chandler Bing : What is so funny about that? Monica Geller : Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! Chandler Bing : Did you tell her what we talked about? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah.... Chandler Bing : So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? Monica Geller : Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Is he funnier than me? Monica Geller : Well, you're... you're different funny... I mean, you're... you're more sarcastic a-a-and... well, he does... bits... and impressions... and... and limericks... Chandler Bing : I do limericks... uhm... There once was a man named Chandler, whose wife made him die inside. Monica Geller : Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? That slayed me. Ross Geller : Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! Joey Tribbiani : Not knowing when to shut up... Ross Geller : Yep! That's my thing... Mike Hannigan : So... how many guys have your key? Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend. Mike Hannigan : Your lipstick's on his mouth. David : Oh, uh... we just uh... happen to wear the same shade. Phoebe Buffay : No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days. Mike Hannigan : Did you uhm... Phoebe Buffay : No, no... Mike Hannigan : ...kiss him? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, yeah... David : Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. Mike Hannigan : Don't point your finger at me. David : Why? Wh-What are you going to do about it? Mike Hannigan : Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... Phoebe Buffay : Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! Here David, you should just go. David : Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... well, you just better watch out. Mike Hannigan : Well, if I ever goto Minsk, you'd better watch out. David : Oh, you're going to Minsk? Mike Hannigan : Well, I might. David : Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well... guys? David : Right... Goodbye Phoebe. Mike Hannigan : Hey, what are you kidding me? David : Right-o, right-o... Take good care of her. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand. Mike Hannigan : It's never gonna happen again right? Phoebe Buffay : Right! Never! Never! I swear! David : I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns. Ross Geller : Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice. Joey Tribbiani : Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... Ross Geller : I swear to God...! Sandy : Who's up for puppets? Joey Tribbiani : Me! I'm up for puppets! Sandy : Well, please welcome... The Snufflebumps... Who wants to be mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus? Ross Geller : Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets? Sandy : Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. Joey Tribbiani : I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Sandy : Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... Rachel Green : That was kind of rude! Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me. Rachel Green : You know, he was just doing his job... Ross Geller : Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this. Rachel Green : Oh, come on Ross... Ross Geller : No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with... Rachel Green : Oh... That's true. Ross Geller : Thank you! Rachel Green : Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. Sandy : So you see Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to shaaaaaaare... Joey Tribbiani : I am learning so much from you. Chandler Bing : Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at www.hahanotsomuch.com. Monica Geller : Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore. Chandler Bing : Really...? See... that's the thing: you gotta keep it smart, people! Monica Geller : Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you. Chandler Bing : I love you too. And... I like you as a friend. Joey Tribbiani : Allright. See you later! Chandler Bing : See ya! Joey Tribbiani : Did that guy really make that joke? Monica Geller : Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out. Ross Geller : Here goes... Rachel Green : I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. Ross Geller : Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out. Sandy : Oh... Ross Geller : Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel... Rachel Green : YOU! You feel! Ross Geller : I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation... Sandy : Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best. Rachel Green : Oh, damn you Geller! Ross Geller : Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings. Sandy : No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future. Ross Geller : No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue. Sandy : What is it...? Please...? Ross Geller : You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you. Sandy : That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is? Ross Geller : Why... I... I don't know. Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father? Sandy : hmmm... Ross Geller : I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now. Rachel Green : Huh ha ha! Ross Geller : I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive. Sandy : That must have been hard. Ross Geller : It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy? Sandy : But you are a real boy! Ross Geller : I know I am! ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top? Sandy : It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out. Ross Geller : Here come some more... Sandy : And what's the one kind of boat that can never, ever sink? Joey Tribbiani : What kind? Sandy : A friend-ship... Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You blow my mind... Sandy : Oh, I gotta go. Joey Tribbiani : Aaahh... How much do I owe you? Sandy : Twenty bucks. Joey Tribbiani : It's like the cheapest college ever. Ross Geller : And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. Yes we were! Yes we were! Come here gorgeous. Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. Big baby butt! I like big butts. I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get... Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm... My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... I'm a terrible father! Chandler Bing : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey... hey listen... What do you guys know about investments? Chandler Bing : How come? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it. Monica Geller : What do you do with your money now? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots! Chandler Bing : Do you have any ideas? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus... Monica Geller : Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Right! People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." Or... or maybe just a wing or... Monica Geller : Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. That's right, I know some stuff! Joey Tribbiani : Real estate, huh? Hmmm... Monica Geller : Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard! Chandler Bing : Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica! Monica Geller : My dad told me. They play golf together. Chandler Bing : Oh, well... Maybe I'll join them some time. I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand and beat the moustache off his face. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! Monica Geller : Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step. Phoebe Buffay : Really? That hadn't occurred to me. Monica Geller : They just gonna love you, just be yourself. Phoebe Buffay : They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue! Rachel Green : Oh yeah, she can't be herself. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, so... allright... Which dress? You can say "neither". Monica Geller : Oh God, neither! Monica Geller : I'm sorry honey, but we're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine. Rachel Green : Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..." Monica Geller : You went out with Wallis Pincer? Rachel Green : Uh, he took the SAT's for me. Monica Geller : I knew you didn't get a 1400! Rachel Green : Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean... Phoebe Buffay : So... now... What about with Mike's mom? Rachel Green : Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had. Monica Geller : She said WHAT? Phoebe Buffay : That's she's like the daughter she never had. Listen! Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet! Ross Geller : Guess what? I made Emma laugh today. Rachel Green : You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie? Ross Geller : Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... Only... only not creepy. Rachel Green : Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? Ross Geller : I uhm... Well, I sang... well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... Rachel Green : You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses? Ross Geller : But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles. Rachel Green : owwwww... Ross Geller : Please don't take her away from me! Catherine : Oh hi, come on in. I'm Catherine, the listing agent. Joey Tribbiani : Hi I'm Joey. This is Chandler. Chandler Bing : So how come Richard's selling the place? Went bankrupt? Medical malpractice? Choked on his own moustache? Catherine : Actually, he is buying a much bigger place. It's got a great view of Central Pa..... Chandler Bing : mmm That's enough about you! Joey Tribbiani : Is there anything we should know about the apartment? Catherine : All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... Chandler Bing : No, no, no, no, no, NO! No, no... we're not together. We're not a couple. We're definately not a couple. Catherine : Oh... Okay, sorry! Joey Tribbiani : Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler Bing : We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! You don't think he's here, do you? Joey Tribbiani : You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... Yeah, I could see it. Chandler Bing : Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : There's a tape here with Monica's name on it. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... Wait a minute... This says Monica... And this is Richard's apartment... Chandler Bing : Get there faster! Mike Hannigan : Wow! You look like... like my mom. Phoebe Buffay : I'm wearing pantyhose! Mike Hannigan : Great! Come on in! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you! Oh... Oh my God, you're RICH! Mike Hannigan : No, my parents are rich. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. HELLO! Mike Hannigan : Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy. Phoebe Buffay : Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight! Bitsy Hannigan : It's so nice to finally meet you! Phoebe Buffay : And you... Your home is lovely. Bitsy Hannigan : Well thank you, I'll give you a tour later. It's actually three floors. Phoebe Buffay : Holy crap! Bitsy Hannigan : Phoebe, why don't you come in the living room and meet our friends? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, try and stop me! Mike Hannigan : Hey... Wh... What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I'm trying to get your parents to like me. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Got it! It... It's hard to stop... Mike Hannigan : Well, come on... Theodore : Phoebe, these are our friends, Tom and Sue Angle. Bitsy Hannigan : Phoebe, come sit. Tell us a little bit about yourself... So where are you from? Phoebe Buffay : Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... So... where does everyone summer? Phoebe Buffay : God! God! This is not going well. Mike Hannigan : No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, okay, okay, okay... Still sure about me being myself? Mike Hannigan : Absolutely! Or maybe just a little less pimp spit. Phoebe Buffay : So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from... Theodore : Oh... Well... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time... Theodore : Oh no, not all the time... I do the best I can... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I bet! Look out! Theodore : OH! OWWWWW! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, are you okay? Theodore : I recently had surgery. Phoebe Buffay : I'm so sorry! Theodore : No, I'll be fine... I just should check the stitches... Phoebe Buffay : I really, really am sorry. Theodore : How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? Mike Hannigan : Uhm... Did you just hit my dad? Phoebe Buffay : Yes... I'm sorry, I've never met a boyfriends parents before... Mike Hannigan : But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight. Bitsy Hannigan : Well, not at all... Phoebe Buffay : Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is. Bitsy Hannigan : Thank you, I think so too. Phoebe Buffay : Well, and you know, it really is a testament to how he was raised. Especially to you. Because he's very respectful of women. Bitsy Hannigan : Is he really? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover. Bitsy Hannigan : E-e-excuse me? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave... Bitsy Hannigan : That's... my boy. Mike Hannigan : Awesome! Chandler Bing : I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey dude, what's up? Chandler Bing : Don't judge me, I'm only human! Joey Tribbiani : Did you take that tape? Chandler Bing : I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Who'm I'm married to? Chandler Bing : Some girl...!? Joey Tribbiani : She hot? Chandler Bing : Yeah...!? Joey Tribbiani : How did she get me to settle down? Chandler Bing : Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... Can it? Joey Tribbiani : Guess I don't know. My experience: if a girl says yes to being taped... She doesn't say no to much else, I tell ya... Chandler Bing : Then you're gonna have to watch it for me. Joey Tribbiani : What? Whoo... What? Chandler Bing : Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please? Joey Tribbiani : All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... Chandler Bing : Why am I hearing cheering? Joey Tribbiani : Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game. Chandler Bing : Football? Just football? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing. Chandler Bing : It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... What the... What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : You don't wanna see what I just saw! Monica Geller : What are you guys doing? Oh my God, is that Richard? Rachel Green : Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that... Ross Geller : Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh? Rachel Green : Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider... Ross Geller : You sang Baby Got Back didn't you? Rachel Green : Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass... Phoebe Buffay : ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Pervert Parade? Mike Hannigan : No... Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Ode To A Pubic Hair? Mike Hannigan : Stop! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God! Is that veal? Mike Hannigan : Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian. Bitsy Hannigan : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love... Mike Hannigan : Phoebe you don't have to eat... Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... Hmmm... yummy Hmmm... Mike Hannigan : So...? What do you think? Monica Geller : So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment? Chandler Bing : Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the porn star! Monica Geller : That tape was never meant to be seen by... Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private. Joey Tribbiani : Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. Monica Geller : Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it? Chandler Bing : Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches. Monica Geller : Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache? Chandler Bing : This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants. Monica Geller : Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache! Monica Geller : Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters. Chandler Bing : Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air... Monica Geller : Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! Chandler Bing : Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I wanna see how it ends. Monica Geller : THAT'S NOT ME! Chandler Bing : What...? That's not you! Life is good again! Ride 'em cowgirl! Monica Geller : That bastard taped over me! Chandler Bing : Is that a problem? Monica Geller : I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor! Theodore : I can't imagine what he sees in her. Bitsy Hannigan : She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his. Oh, hello dear... Mike Hannigan : Hey, what's going on? Bitsy Hannigan : We were just chit-chatting. How's your friend? Mike Hannigan : A little better. Bitsy Hannigan : By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen. Theodore : You remember her Michael, she's lovely and... well behaved and... single. Mike Hannigan : I'm not interested. Bitsy Hannigan : Oh, please darling, let's be honest. You can have all the... sailor fun you want with that one, but... let's be real... Mike Hannigan : All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are... Bitsy Hannigan : Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! Mike Hannigan : So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love... Bitsy Hannigan : The woman you what? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... The woman you what? Mike Hannigan : The woman I love... I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life... Phoebe Buffay : I love you too... Mike Hannigan : You do? Phoebe Buffay : YEAH...! How great is this...? Mike Hannigan : Wanna get out of here? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Mike Hannigan : Mom, dad, thanks for dinner. Phoebe Buffay : I had a great time. It was really top drawer. And Here's Something Rich thirteen bathrooms in this place... I threw up in the coat closet... Ta taaa... Ross Geller : She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette. Rachel Green : So fellas. Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : fellas. Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : has your girlfriend got the butt? Ross Geller : Hell yeah! Rachel Green : So shake it! Ross Geller : Shake it! Rachel Green : Shake it! Ross Geller : Shake it! Rachel Green : Shake that nasty butt... Ross Geller : Baby got back. Rachel Green : One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... Ross Geller : Rachel please! That is so inappropriate! Monica Geller : Hey Hon, could you help me get the plates down? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today? Monica Geller : No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over. Chandler Bing : Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint. Monica Geller : What if something gets broken, they're so expensive. Chandler Bing : What is the point of having them if we never use them? Monica Geller : Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over.. Chandler Bing : I will explain it to her. Monica Geller : Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the queen. Joey Tribbiani : wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap. Tv Announcer : Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, OK. Chandler Bing : Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! Tv Announcer : And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives . Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm. Oh! Stupid long sleeves. Chandler Bing : What are you going to do? Joey Tribbiani : I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot. Chandler Bing : Well you proved them wrong. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross and Rachels Apartment. Rachel Green : Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies. Ross Geller : A lot of people are thankful for those. Woman At Door : Hello? Rachel? Rachel Green : Who is it? Woman At Door : It's your favorite sister. Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill? Woman at door in a sing song voice: Amy. Rachel Green : Hide my rings. Rachel Green : Oh. Amy! Happy Thanksgiving. Amy Green : Do you have a hair straightener? Rachel Green : Um... hi. Amy Green : oh... hi.. Rachel Green : Aw. Amy Green : Hair Straightener? Rachel Green : I haven't seen you in like.. a year. Amy Green : Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed. Rachel Green : Oh well yeah me too. Um.. I had a baby. Amy Green : I decorated Dad's office. Rachel Green : Oh.. yeah? Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. Amy Green : Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house. Amy Green : Oh my God! Rachel Green : mh hmm.. Amy Green : Is this Emmett? Rachel Green : Uh.... its Emma. Amy Green : Its a girl? Ross Geller : Hey Amy. Rachel Green : Oh Amy, you remember Ross. Amy Green : Not really. But you are much cuter then that geeky guy she used to date. Ross Geller : That was me. Amy Green : No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since like the ninth grade. Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me. Amy Green : No, I'm not talking about you. It was your fat friends brother with that bad afro, do you remember? Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. All me. Monica and Chandler's Apartment. Monica Geller : Careful. Careful. CAREFUL! Sorry. Chandler Bing : I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out.. Monica Geller : I know, after you left the store, I chose different ones. Chandler Bing : Why? Monica Geller : well no offense honey, but your taste is a little feminine for me. Chandler Bing : Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving! Joey Tribbiani : Hey happy Thanksgiving.. Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what's going on Joe? Joey Tribbiani : I.. I.. I need a good lie. Phoebe Buffay : Oh okay. How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing. You know? You. you could. You could see the strings people! Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, honey. You stink at lying. Joey Tribbiani : I do not. Phoebe Buffay : Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it? Joey Tribbiani : Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do? Phoebe Buffay : Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Sure, what.. what was the work thing? Joey Tribbiani : Uh.. Phoebe Buffay : "Pick up grandma at the airport"? Joey Tribbiani : Oh.. man.. Ross and Rachel's Apartment. Amy Green : Oh she's precious. Do you ever worry she's going to get your real nose? Rachel Green : Amy! Yes I do.. I really do. Amy Green : Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. Can I take this upstairs? Ross Geller : Sure, we don't live there but... Amy Green : Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? I thought you were a doctor. Rachel Green : Yeah, no. Ross has a PhD. Amy Green : Ew. Rachel Green : God she is unbelievable. Ross Geller : I know, I mean a PhD is just as good as an MD. Rachel Green : Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. Amy Green : Stupid Thanksgiving. Rachel Green : What? What happened? Amy Green : My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys. Ross Geller : Don't say that. Amy Green : Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi. Rachel Green : Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private? Ross Geller : Sure, you want to go upstairs? Rachel Green : Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. Ross Geller : You know, I think thats a great idea. It'll be like the pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. Rachel Green : Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond. Ross Geller : Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. Rachel Green : Ross, you know what? She may need one..We're just going to have to make our peace with that! Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel Green : Hi. #ALL# : Hi, hey. Rachel Green : Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon. #ALL# : Hi. Amy Green : Oh my god. You're on Days of Our Lives. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Amy Green : wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you. Joey Tribbiani : Hap.. Hap.. Happy Thanksgiving. Ross Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey you. Monica Geller : So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma? Amy Green : Yeah I.. I think so. It's nice to meet you Emma. Phoebe Buffay : Phoe-Be. Amy Green : Oh. That's a funny noise. Joey Tribbiani : Pheebs, I still need some help here. Phoebe Buffay : Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying. Joey Tribbiani : Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor. Phoebe Buffay : You are a terrific actor. Amy Green : Hey. Hey where's the baby? Rachel Green : Oh we just put her down for a nap. Amy Green : Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died. Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy. Amy Green : no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married. Phoebe Buffay : Thats a great movie. Amy Green : Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. Ross Geller : Emma. Amy Green : Emma, Ross wants you. Phoebe Buffay : PHOE-BE. Amy Green : Why does she keep making that noise? Rachel Green : Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself um you wouldn't get the baby. Amy Green : Well who would? Ross Geller : Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler. Chandler Bing : I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma. Monica Geller : yeah oh my god, I'm so moved. Amy Green : I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby? Rachel Green : See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby. Amy Green : Connected? I mean.. to what? She's.. she's a lump. Chandler Bing : You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... Amy Green : This guy? Seriously? Later in the day. Monica Geller : Okay! It's time for dinner. Everyone we're using our fancy china.. um and its very expensive so please be careful. Ross Geller : Woah. Woah... Woah. Monica Geller : Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! How come my plate's less fancy then everyone else's? Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? Monica Geller : No, honey, its. thats a special plate. See its a game, whoever gets that plate wins. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe I won. Amy Green : Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me. Rachel Green : Monica is Ross' sister. Amy Green : No, Ross' sister was really fat. Monica Geller : That was me. Amy Green : No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog. Rachel Green : Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that. Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this. Monica Geller : Now see, this way you protect the plate.. and lets face it you have fun. Amy Green : Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby? Chandler Bing : No, if crazy plate lad.. If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right? Rachel Green : Well actually... Chandler Bing : Actually what? Ross Geller : well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents. Chandler Bing : What? Amy Green : Hurts, doesn't it? Joey Tribbiani : Uh.. who has to die for me to get her? Commercial Break. Chandler Bing : So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma? Ross Geller : No, that that is not what we're saying. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah he's lying. He looked down. Chandler Bing : Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you! Rachel Green : Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent. Ross Geller : Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict. Monica Geller : Thats not how you see me, is it? Phoebe while cutting a sweet potatoe in the air: No you're all about the fun. Chandler Bing : Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable? Ross Geller : No, you both are equally capable. Its just.. you're strongest when.. when you're together. Chandler Bing : Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die she'd have to give her up. Ross Geller : Sure, Monica would have to give her up. Joey Tribbiani : I lie better then that, right? Chandler Bing : So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me? Phoebe Buffay : There's your movie! Later on. Monica opens her front door. Chandler is sitting in the hallway. Monica Geller : Hey. There you are. You disappeared after dinner. Chandler Bing : Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly? Monica Geller : Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom. Chandler Bing : Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be. Monica Geller : No you learn these things. You grow into it. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it. Monica Geller : I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"? Monica Geller : Can you hear me say "You're grounded"? Chandler Bing : You said that to me last week. Monica Geller : How hard is it? No shoes on the furniture. Back to Monica and Chandler's apartment. Amy is sitting on a chair by the bay window looking mad. Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. And they all got to meet Santa! Phoebe Buffay : It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, what happened? Joey all nervous and looking down and fiddling with his ear: Oh.. My sister's raccoon. Phoebe Buffay : No! Nothing with a raccoon. Joey Tribbiani : Arg... Alright, I'll take care of it. Monica and Chandler come through the front door. Monica Geller : Oh wait.. What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Setting the table. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too. Monica Geller : Oh how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler. Ross Geller : Hey dude, you okay? Sorry about before. Chandler Bing : Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey. Ross walks away with a face of yeah ok. Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. Uchh In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you. Rachel Green : UCHH! Amy Green : You know.. this.. this is classic Rachel. Rachel Green : Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby? Amy Green : This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer. Rachel Green : What? What carrer? Amy Green : Um.. I'm a decorator. Rachel Green : Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear. Amy Green : Why can't you ever be supportive? Rachel Green : Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby. Amy Green : Oh. Yeah. Well.. You didn't come see me when I was in the hospital when I was getting my lips done. Rachel Green : I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you. Ross Geller : Emma. Rachel Green : Oh whose side are you on? I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child. Amy Green : How hard could it be? You do it. Joey Tribbiani : ooh oooh.. Amy Green : Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby? Rachel Green : uh huh. Amy Green : Because you don't want me to be happy. You.. you have always been jealous of me. Rachel Green : Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsiblity? You, your immaturity? Your total disregard of other people's feelings? Amy Green : Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me? Rachel Green : Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with him! Amy Green : Oh come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it. Rachel Green : I cannot, I cannot believe that I invited you here today. Amy Green : Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail. Rachel Green : ah ha ha. ah ha ha. It's forty five. Amy Green : You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute. Ross Geller : Too far, Amy. Too far. Rachel Green : You take that back. Amy Green : No. Rachel Green : Take it back! Amy Green : No! What are you going to do? Make me? Rachel Green : Heey man, I work out. Amy Green : So do I. Rachel Green : I do pilates. Amy Green : I do yoga. Rachel Green : Bring it on! Monica Geller : Put the plates in the boxes!! Put the plates in the boxes! Rachel Green : Did you just push me? Amy Green : Uh, yeah I think I did. Rachel Green : Alright. Thats it! Monica Geller : Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time! Rachel starts messing up Amy's hair: Frizzy frizzy frizzy frizzy!! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god! Shouldn't we stop this? Joey Tribbiani : What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them. Rachel Green : Ew! Gross. Chandler Bing : Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now. Amy Green : I'm sorry. Rachel Green : Mon, I'm so sorry. Chandler Bing : Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it. Amy Green : Sorry. Chandler Bing : By the way, that fight was totally arousing. Ross Geller : Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Well thanks. Ross Geller : So, so now do I get Joey? Chandler Bing : Okay, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose. Rachel Green : Are you okay Mon? Monica Geller : uh huh.. I mean these things happen. Its' just a plate. Its not like somebody died. Phoebe Buffay : It's all right. You can mourn. Monica Geller : Thank you. It was so beautiful. I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies. Joey Tribbiani : Actually its not pies, its just pie. Monica Geller : I don't care. Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold. Rachel Green : Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you.. Amy Green : So you're going to give me the baby? Rachel Green : Uh. No.. I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount. Amy Green : You are not going to regret this. Rachel Green : She needs changing. Chandler Bing : Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet? Chandler Bing : Nope... Phoebe Buffay : Broke them all, huh? Chandler Bing : Yep... Phoebe Buffay : You gonna tell her? Chandler Bing : Nope... Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time. Monica Geller : Like only if the queen comes? Chandler Bing : Maybe not even then. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : No problem! Next week: stealing... Monica Geller : Bye plates! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? Monica Geller : What? Something happened with the plates? Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... Yeah... this uhm... raccoon came in... Jo Lynn : This kitty is Mittens and this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies. Chandler Bing : Yep. That's a lot of cats Jo Lynn. Single are ya? Chandler Bing : Chandler Bing. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. How come you're answering your own phone? Where's your crazy assistant? Chandler Bing : What's up Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, what have we always wanted to do together? Chandler Bing : Braid each other's hair and ride horseback on the beach? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no. When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . . courtside! Chandler Bing : Courtside? Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee. Chandler Bing : That's so cool. I'll let Monica know. Monica Geller : Hello? Chandler Bing : Joey just called. He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night. Monica Geller : Really? But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant. If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week. Chandler Bing : But hey, it's courtside. The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr. . . That's not the way to convince you. Monica Geller : Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game. You have to spend time with me." So, if you could just realize it on your own . . . Chandler Bing : I know. You're right. I want to see you too. I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know? He's really looking forward to this. Monica Geller : Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time. Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult. Tell him that what little time we have is precious. Chandler Bing : Yeah, ah, ah . . . I'll think of something. Ross Geller : Wow! Wow, You look . . . uh . . . It's just, ah . . . That dress . . . uh . . . Rachel Green : Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good. Ross Geller : Well, well, they're good. It's been a while since I've seen you like this. You, you clean up good. Rachel Green : Oh well, well thank you. Okay, stop. Stop looking at me like that. The last time that happened, that happened. Ross Geller : Oh right, right. So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah. Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun. And thank you for watching the baby, by the way. Ross Geller : Oh, it's fine. Actually, I, I invited Mike over. Rachel Green : Phoebe's Mike? Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : I didn't know you guys hung out. Ross Geller : We don't. But I thought it would be nice to get to know him. You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation. Rachel Green : Oh that's so cute: Ross and Mike's first date. Is that going to be awkward? I mean, what are you guys going to talk about? Ross Geller : I don't know. But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know. He plays piano; I played keyboards in college. He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Rachel Green : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh. Girl's night out indeed. Rachel Green : Ok. So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . . Ross Geller : Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right? You go have fun. Rachel Green : Okay. You too. And I hope you score. Bye. Mike Hannigan : Bye. Ross Geller : So . . . Welcome. Mike Hannigan : I got beer. Ross Geller : I got bottled breast milk. Mike Hannigan : Eh, why don't we start with the beer? Ross Geller : Okay. So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano. Mike Hannigan : Yeah. Ross Geller : You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college. Mike Hannigan : Ah? Do you have one here? Ross Geller : No. Mike Hannigan : Okay. Ross Geller : Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced. Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced? Mike Hannigan : Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't . . . I don't really like to talk about it. Ross Geller : That's okay. We'll talk about something else. Mike Hannigan : So, you're a paleontologist, right? Ross Geller : Yeah. Mike Hannigan : My cousin's a paleontologist. Ross Geller : Ah? Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God. Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross? Rachel Green : Oh God. It seems like forever ago. Phoebe Buffay : I know. So, what's going on with you and Ross? Rachel Green : Well, um . . . I don't know. I mean, for a long time nothing. But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! I love things. What happened? Rachel Green : Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked. And, ah, then we had a little . . . um . . . eye-contact. Phoebe Buffay : Eye-contact? Rachel Green : Mm-hmm. Phoebe Buffay : I hope you were using protection. Waiter : Excuse me. Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar. Rachel Green : Oh. Should we send them something back? Phoebe Buffay : Oooh. Let's do. Let's send them mashed potatoes. Rachel Green : No! Wait! No, no. Don't do that! That's going to make them think they can come over here. Phoebe Buffay : So? What if they do? Rachel Green : Well, we're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen. We're just having fun. You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact." Monica Geller : Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa. Chandler Bing : Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? I heard it. Monica Geller : I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair. Chandler Bing : All right. I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape. Monica Geller : Yes, because all good plans start with, "I'll go down the fire escape." Chandler Bing : Hear me out woman. I'll go down the fire escape. Then, I'll wait for a while. Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa. Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here. Monica Geller : Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out? I heard it. Chandler Bing : I'm just going to wait for a little while. Monica Geller : Scary pigeon's back? Chandler Bing : It's huge. Rachel Green : Oh my God. I can't believe you live in that building. My grandmother lives in that building. Ida Green? No sense of personal space? Kind of smells like chicken? Looks like a potato. Bill : "Spuds" is your grandmother? Rachel Green : That's my bubby! Kevin : So, we're on our way to a couple of parties. Um. . . maybe we can get your numbers and give you guys a call if we find something fun. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. . . I'm sorry. We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys. I, I have a boyfriend. Kevin : All right. It's no big deal. Bill : So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? Rachel Green : Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend. But um. . . Bill : Then, can I have your number? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, no. Bill : Okay. Rachel Green : Oh sure. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, you're giving your real number. Bill : Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. Rachel Green : Great. Bill : Bye. Phoebe Buffay : Bye. Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking? Rachel Green : I don't know. He was cute, and he liked me. It was an impulse. Phoebe Buffay : What about Ross? What about your moment? Don't you want to talk to Ross about it? Rachel Green : No. No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go. "Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before." Rachel Green : "Yeah." "Me too." Rachel Green : "Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it." Rachel Green : "Yeah." "Me neither." Rachel Green : "Well, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we're really feeling?" Rachel Green : "Yeah. That works for me." Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I see what you mean. By the way, nice Ross imitation. Rachel Green : Oh, thanks. Phoebe Buffay : But, your Rachel wasn't whiny enough. Rachel Green : Wha. . . hey! Phoebe Buffay : Better! Rachel Green : Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know? I should just . . . move on with my life. Phoebe Buffay : Really? You're moving on from Ross? Rachel Green : I don't know. Do I have to decide right now? Phoebe Buffay : Well, you kind of just did. That guy is going to call you tonight. Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message. Rachel Green : Oh God, Ross. Ross is going to pick up the phone. Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh my God. He's gone. Phoebe Buffay : "Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh my God. He's gone." Dead on. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! That didn't take long. I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight. Chandler Bing : Well, you're forgetting about the time difference. Monica Geller : Chandler! You're home! Chandler Bing : That's right. You're husband's home. So, now the sex can stop. Monica Geller : What are you saying? Chandler Bing : Joey said that you're in here with another man. Monica Geller : There's no man in here. How dare you accuse me of that. Joey Tribbiani : All right. All right. Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh? Bwa-ah-ah! Chandler Bing : What is he doing? Monica Geller : I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy. Joey Tribbiani : Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows. Chandler Bing : All right. Well, I'll check the guest room. Joey Tribbiani : Why do I smell men's cologne? Monica Geller : I think that's you. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier. Chandler Bing : There's nobody here Joe. Joey Tribbiani : I guess not. Monica Geller : I can't believe you thought I was cheating. You own me an apology. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, right Monica. I'm so sorry. Monica Geller : Ah, it's an honest mistake. It could happen to anyone. All right, see ya. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here? Chandler Bing : I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet? Mike Hannigan : So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing. Fascinating isn't it. Ross Geller : Maybe you should look up "fascinating." Mike Hannigan : I'll get it. Hello? Ross's place. Mike speaking. It's for you. Ross Geller : I don't understand what just happened here. Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . . I didn't think you'd understand. Joey Tribbiani : What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife? Huh? Do you think I'm like, "Duh." Monica Geller : Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Monica Geller : I don't know what to say. We shouldn't have lied to you. Chandler Bing : Yeah. I feel so bad. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't. But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. That's the one thing I can't do. I promised I'd be with Monica. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Monica Geller : You can go. Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : You should go to the game. It's okay. I want you to. Chandler Bing : Really? You're gonna be okay? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'll be fine. You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction. Chandler Bing : You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you? Monica Geller : It's gonna be so hot! Chandler Bing : Okay, bye. Monica Geller : Have fun. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Here's your ticket. Chandler Bing : Hey, listen. I'm never going to lie to you again, okay? And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man. Joey Tribbiani : Where are you going? Chandler Bing : Game's tomorrow night Joe. Ross Geller : Hey you guys. Mike Hannigan : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. I'll be right back. I've got to go to the bathroom. Mike Hannigan : Stout. That's a kind of beer. Phoebe Buffay : ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!" Joey Tribbiani : Wow, that was great! You really wrote that? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Chandler Bing : Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa. Monica Geller : I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas. Ross Geller : You're really not coming back? Chandler Bing : Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired. Monica Geller : It's so unfair, you don't even like your job! Chandler Bing : So, who does? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I like my job. Joey Tribbiani : I *love* my job. Rachel Green : Yeah, I can't *wait* to go back to work. Ross Geller : I can't get *enough* dinosaurs! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I won't be here. Monica Geller : It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand. Chandler Bing : Thanks. I'll see you New Year's Day. Monica Geller : You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve?? Chandler Bing : Did I not mention that? Monica Geller : No! Chandler Bing : AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! *Opening Credits* Chandler Bing : All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler. Wendy : Hey! Others : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Where've you been? Wendy : I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. Chandler Bing : You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here. Claudia : My kid's in a play right now. Chandler Bing : Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order. Ken : "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet". Chandler Bing : Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks! Wendy : *Now* it feels like Christmas. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to. Ken : You can come to my house! Chandler Bing : Haha, no thanks! Wendy : That was a nice pep-talk. Chandler Bing : Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker. Wendy : So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing? Chandler Bing : Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional... Phoebe Buffay : So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along. Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!" Happy holidays, everybody! Rachel Green : Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet. Chandler Bing : I can save you time ladies, I'm right here. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you. Rachel Green : We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica. Chandler Bing : What? That's terrible! Phoebe Buffay : No-no, we do it every year! Chandler Bing : Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible. Phoebe Buffay : No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx. Rachel Green : Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK? Chandler Bing : No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, we have to! Chandler Bing : No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too. Phoebe Buffay : Well then, you should look with us. Chandler Bing : Why? Rachel Green : Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas? Chandler Bing : No, I have a great idea for a present for her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's it? A great idea! Oh yeah. Rachel Green : Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why? Chandler Bing : If I help, we can find 'em faster! Rachel Green : That's right! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh ooh, we have a live one! Rachel Green : Oh, it's a Macy's bag! Rachel Green : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, who's it for? Rachel Green : "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you." Joey Tribbiani : Rach, these are for you. Rachel Green : Wiper blades. I don't even have a car. Joey Tribbiani : No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do. Chandler Bing : OK, Pheebs, your turn. Phoebe Buffay : Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas? Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : You guuuyys. Joey Tribbiani : And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth. Ross Geller : You got me a cola drink? Chandler Bing : And, a lemon lime. Ross Geller : Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater. Chandler Bing : And last but not least. Joey Tribbiani : They're ribbed for *your* pleasure. Ross Geller : Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights? Ben Geller : Cool! Ross Geller : Yeah! Monica Geller : Come on Ben. Ross Geller : Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees... Chandler Bing : Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Ben Geller : Santa! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : What are you doing here, Santa? Chandler Bing : Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man? Ross Geller : I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say. Ross Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work! Ross Geller : Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave. Chandler Bing : Why? Ross Geller : Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it. Chandler Bing : But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly. Ross Geller : I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me. Chandler Bing : Fine, I'll give the suit back. Monica Geller : Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? Chandler Bing : Santa? Really? Monica Geller : Yeah, is that okay? Chandler Bing : Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Then it's okaaay! Chandler Bing : You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve. Chandler Bing : Did I not tell *anyone* about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go. Chandler Bing : Good, God's speed, good people! You're not gonna go? Wendy : Naah... I couldn't leave you alone. Chandler Bing : Ah. Thanks. Wendy : Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham. Chandler Bing : Ah. Chandler Bing. Monica Geller : Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas. Others : Merry Christmas! Phoebe Buffay : Ble-blah-blar Blargh! Chandler Bing : Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys! Monica Geller : So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard? Chandler Bing : Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy. Monica Geller : Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name. Chandler Bing : It is. Did I... not tell you about her? Monica Geller : Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else? Chandler Bing : I sent them home. Monica Geller : Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty? Chandler Bing : Uhh, uh... Ross Geller : Answer faster, answer faster! Chandler Bing : I don't know! Ross Geller : Answer better, answer better! Chandler Bing : I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague. Monica Geller : What does she do there? Chandler Bing : Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me. Monica Geller : She did WHAT? Chandler Bing : BE-LOW me! Joey Tribbiani : Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma? Monica Geller : *What*?? Chandler Bing : Well, she... she didn't win... Monica Geller : Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work. Chandler Bing : Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably... Rachel Green : Oh Chandler, stop talking! Chandler Bing : Honey, there's really nothing to worry about. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : I'm serious! Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Merry Christmas. Monica Geller : Merry Christmas. Chandler Bing : Merry Christmas, you guys! Others : Yeah, Merry... Christmas. Phoebe Buffay : Blah blargah, blar-blab. Chandler Bing : The wife says "Hi!". Wendy : Ah. Fun conversation? Chandler Bing : Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen. Wendy : Huh? Really? -- Hm, that'd be so terrible? Chandler Bing : This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie. Chandler Bing : Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! Wendy : ...Missy? Chandler Bing : I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma? Wendy : You are to me... Chandler Bing : No,... no... NO! Look, I'm, I'm married! Wendy : So? I'm married. Chandler Bing : I'm *happily* married. Wendy : Oh. - What's *that* like? Chandler Bing : Right. So, I'm sorry... Wendy : Seriously? Happily married. So that phone call before, that was ... happy? Chandler Bing : Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us. Wendy : Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me? Chandler Bing : I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight! Monica Geller : Really? Chandler Bing : You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out? Monica Geller : Well, not anymore. Chandler Bing : But we don't do that. Monica Geller : I know, I just thought it would be fun. Chandler Bing : How drunk are you? Monica Geller : Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage. Chandler Bing : That's the perfect amount! Monica Geller : Okay! Monica Geller : Y'know what's weird? Chandler Bing : What? Monica Geller : This doesn't feel weird! Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : You're a really good kisser. Chandler Bing : Well, I have kissed over four women. Do you wanna get under the covers? Monica Geller : Hm-hmm! Chandler Bing : Okay! Monica Geller : Wow! You are really fast! Chandler Bing : It bodes well for me that speed impresses you. Monica Geller : We're gonna see each other naked. Chandler Bing : Yep! Monica Geller : Do you wanna do it at the same time? Chandler Bing : Count of three? Monica Geller : One! Chandler Bing : Two! Monica Geller : Two! Chandler Bing : Three! Chandler Bing : Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined. Monica Geller : Eh, we weren't that close anyway! Chandler Bing : Eh! Chandler Bing : So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man? Monica Geller : Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this. Monica Geller : I think you're better than you think you are. Chandler Bing : Really? Okay, so... Monica Geller : Know when to stop. Chandler Bing : Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay? Monica Geller : Yeah. Don't do the dance. Chandler Bing : Right! Monica Geller : I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Chandler Bing : Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new. Monica Geller : You're so efficient. I love you! Chandler Bing : Let's go! Monica Geller : No-no-no, wait! We need something old! Chandler Bing : Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve. Monica Geller : That'll work! Chandler Bing : I don't think so. Monica Geller : Okay, now we just need something borrowed! Chandler Bing : Here just...take this. Monica Geller : That's stealing! Chandler Bing : No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress. Monica Geller : Ohh. Chandler Bing : Okay, one thing at a time. Monica Geller : Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that. Chandler Bing : Ehh. Monica Geller : Eh, you work for that. Chandler Bing : Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding. Monica Geller : You do?! Chandler Bing : Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do. Monica Geller : Oh, you're so sweet. Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff? Chandler Bing : Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college. Monica Geller : You thought about that? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : How many kids were we gonna have? Chandler Bing : Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy. Monica Geller : What else did you think about? Chandler Bing : Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old. Monica Geller : Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding. Chandler Bing : Sure you do. Monica Geller : No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage. Chandler Bing : You sure? Monica Geller : Uh-hmm. Chandler Bing : I love you so much. Monica Geller : I love you. Rachel Green : Oohh, I love it! Ross Geller : Really? You're not gonna return it? Rachel Green : Well, not this second! Phoebe Buffay : Hey look, you guys, it's snowing! Rachel Green : Oh wow, it's so beautiful... Ross Geller : Wow, it really is! Monica Geller : "Wendy" is a fat girl name. Phoebe Buffay : Aren't we done with that? Monica Geller : Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine? Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Oh my god... Joey Tribbiani : Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle! Monica Geller : What are you doing here? Chandler Bing : I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most? Chandler Bing : Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Got ya. Chandler Bing : I never want to leave you again! Monica Geller : But I thought if you left, you get fired. Chandler Bing : Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit. Monica Geller : What? Ross Geller : What, you, you really quit your job? Chandler Bing : Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do? Rachel Green : What do you really want to do? Chandler Bing : I have *not* thought this through! Monica Geller : Oh my god! Chandler Bing : I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it. Monica Geller : No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great! Chandler Bing : Thanks! Phoebe Buffay : Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined. Chandler Bing : Ahh... Phoebe Buffay : Now give me my real gift. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Here, pass these, will ya.. Ross Geller : Oh, hey... Ross Geller : "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." -- How did you know? Rachel Green : Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this. Chandler Bing : I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys. Joey Tribbiani : Mine's is to Lilian Myers. Chandler Bing : I don't have a *job*! *Closing Credits* Chandler Bing : Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man! Monica Geller : You are! Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow? Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant. Chandler Bing : I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. Monica Geller : Well, I just lost my erection. Chandler Bing : I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself? Monica Geller : You're supposed to find your passion in life. You can be whatever you wanna be now. It's exciting. Chandler Bing : But it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start. Monica Geller : Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files! Chandler Bing : Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off! Monica Geller : I know!!! My erection is back! Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin? Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Phoebe Thank you. Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : : Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, it's just, I'm a little short on cash. Joey Tribbiani : If you want I could loan you some money? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show? Phoebe Buffay : You could do that? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. The pay is pretty good and you could do it for as long as you need. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god, I'm gonna be on TV! Joey Tribbiani : Okay, now. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, really? Joey Tribbiani : No it is awesome! Ross Geller : Hi guys. #ALL# :  Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up? Ross Geller : Rachel and I are bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone. Doesn't she look cute? Joey Tribbiani : She sure does. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head? Rachel Green : Well, because if one more person says "what a cute little boy" I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna! Ross Geller : I think she's gonna be the hit of the office, huh? She's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow? Monica Geller : Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision. Chandler Bing : How long was I in there? Monica Geller : Okay. Let us start with the A's. Advertising. Chandler Bing : Wait. Advertising! That's a great idea! Monica Geller : Don't you want to look through the rest? Chandler Bing : I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense. Sorry you had to waste all this time, though. Monica Geller : You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Ooh, now I get to use my shredder! Chandler Bing : I mean, I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be, right? "Cheese. It's milk that you chew." "Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy." "A grape. Because who can get a water melon in your mouth?" Monica Geller : I got one. "Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best." Chandler Bing : Honey? Leave it to the pros. Monica Geller : I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you? Give me the phone. Chandler Bing : "The phone. Bringing you closer to people...who have phones." Monica Geller : "Marriage. It's not for everybody." Rachel Green : That went well. Almost everybody knew that she was a girl. Ross Geller : Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread. Rachel Green : I'm just gonna go in my office and pick up some stuff . Who the hell are you!? Guy : Who the hell are you? Rachel Green : I'm the hell person whose office this is! Ross Geller : Good one, Rach. Guy : I'm Gavin Mitchell, the person who's taken over your job. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Gavin Mitchell : Oh, your baby's so cute. Why did you put a pink bow on a boy? Phoebe Buffay : Joey, look at me! I'm a nurse! Joey Tribbiani : Yes you are. I think it may be time for my sponge bath. Sorry, I'm just so used to hitting on the extras. So, are you excited about your scene? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! But I'm a little shaky and nervous. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, relax. Don't be. You'll be fine, you'll be fine. They'll probably just make you stand in the back. Director : Okay, okay, okay! You. Here, come here, here. You're gonna take this tray, you're gonna stay on this yellow mark. You're gonna move on "action!" You're gonna walk over to the operating table. You're gonna stop on that blue mark, you're gonna put the tray down. Don't walk too fast! But don't doddle. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, now. What? Director : And...Action!! Director : Cut! Cut! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous. Director : Well, don't be. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, that helps. Director : And...Action! Director : Cut! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know what? Don't worry, Pheebs! It usually takes me three takes too! Alright, eight. Director : And...Action! Interviewer : So, do you have any other question about advertising? Chandler Bing : No, no. But let me show you what I can do. "Bagels and donuts. Round food for every mood." Interviewer : Monica warned me you might do that. I actually think we might have something for you at the agency. Chandler Bing : Really? That's great! Interviewer : It's an unpaid internship. Chandler Bing : It's funny. When you said "unpaid" it sounded like you said "unpaid." Interviewer : Come on now. Monica has a good job. And it's not like you have a family to support. Chandler Bing : Actually, we're trying, and I don't think Monica's gonna wanna postpone it. We're supposed to have sex tonight. Actually, she's probably at home naked right now. I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me. I can just picture her on the bed right now. Interviewer : Stop! Interviewer : Okay. Rachel Green : Wait a minute! What do you mean, you're taking over my job? Gavin Mitchell : Well, while you were on your baby vacation I was doing your job. Rachel Green : A vacation? My idea of a vacation does not involve something sucking on my nipples until they are raw. Gavin Mitchell : Clearly you've never been to Sandles Paradise Island. Rachel Green : Alright! Don't get too comfortable there, because I'm back in two weeks! And I want everything back to the way it was. I can't say that I care too much for the way you've rearranged my office. Gavin Mitchell : I can't say I care too much for that smell you've brought in with you. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Ross Geller : Rach we have a code brown situation. Rachel Green : Can you please, please take care of it for me? Ross Geller : Alright, but you have to do one sometime. Rachel Green : Let me just get this straight! So I go have a baby and they send some guy in to do my job? Gavin Mitchell : Well, there was talk of shutting down Ralph Lauren all together. Rachel Green : That's right. You're very cheeky for a temp. Gavin Mitchell : I'm not a temp. I was transferred here from another department. Rachel Green : Oh yeah, what department was that? The Jerk department? Gavin Mitchell : Oh, they didn't tell me about your quick wit. Rachel Green : Did they mention that I'm rubber and you're glue? Mr. Zelner : Gavin, Ralph loved your ideas. Rachel Green : Oh, hi Mr. Zelner. Mr. Zelner : Rachel, I see you've met Gavin. I must say, when you left us we weren't sure what we were gonna do. But then, Gavin to the rescue. Super Gavin! Rachel Green : That's great. So now, Super Gavin, when I come back where are you planning on flying off to? Gavin Mitchell : Well, that's up to Mr. Zelner. I'm sure he will make the right decision. Rachel Green : Oh, wow. Super ass-kissing power. Mr. Zelner : Incidentally, when are you coming back? Rachel Green : Today. Gavin Mitchell : You said two weeks. Rachel Green : No, I said today! See, for a superhero, not so much with the listening. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. So, what did he say? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he can be a little rough around the edges, so I'm gonna replace a word he used a lot, with the word "puppy." Okay, So He Said "If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together, I'm gonna fire her mother-puppy ass." Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'm not an actor. Joey Tribbiani : That's right, you're not. You're a nurse. You're Nurse With Tray. Phoebe Buffay : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : No, no. Nurse With Tray doesn't know Joey, she doesn't have time for friends. She gets in that operating room and she carries that tray to the doctor, because if she doesn't, people die! Phoebe Buffay : Who dies? Joey Tribbiani : Man With Eye Patch! You get in there and you do your job. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, doctor. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Director : Okay, let's try this one more time. Phoebe Buffay : Hang in there, Man With Eye Patch, your tray is coming! Director : And...Action! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I did it!!! I nailed it!!! Yay! What's next? Director : The rest of the scene. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, from the top, people! Rachel Green : Listen. Sudden change of plans. My maternity leave just ended. They told me that if I didn't come back today, they were gonna fire me. Ross Geller : What? No, that's illegal. I'm gonna have the labor department down her so fast they won't even... Rachel Green : Alright, alright. Calm down Norma Rae. They didn't actually say that. I'm just afraid if I don't come back right now this guy's gonna try to squeeze me out. Ross Geller : What about Emma? We don't have a nanny. Rachel Green : I know. You know, we're just gonna have to figure out a plan tonight. Can you please just take care of her for today? Ross Geller : Absolutely. Just give me your breast and we'll be on our way. Rachel Green : Come on, I don't know what else to do. Ross Geller : Fine, fine. We'll have fun, won't we? Yes, we will, yes we will. Rachel Green : Ross? Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : You're pretty. Chandler Bing : Whatever I decide to do, I'm gonna be starting a career from scratch. It's gonna be a while before I make a living at it. Maybe now is not the right time to be starting a family. Ross Geller : So you have to tell Monica you don't want to have a baby right now? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Ross Geller : Good-bye. Monica Geller : Okay, it's baby time. Pants off Bing. Didn't see you there Geller. Chandler Bing : Yeah, Ross is here so... Ross Geller : Yeah, and I was really hoping that I could hang out. What do you feel like doing? Monica Geller : We're gonna have sex. Ross Geller : I don't feel like having sex. Maybe we can watch a movie or something. Monica Geller : Let me put it this way. We're having sex whether you're here or not. Ross Geller : Pants off Bing! Rachel Green : Alright. Now that I'm back, why don't you just fill me in on what you've been up to? Gavin Mitchell : Well, I've changed your screensaver from that picture of *Nsync. Rachel Green : Hey, they were popular when I left! Gavin Mitchell : Also, I've just been working on this big presentation for tomorrow. Rachel Green : Well, I should be involved in that, so why don't you get me up to speed? Gavin Mitchell : That's gonna take weeks. Why don't just let me take care of the presentation? Rachel Green : Oh, no no no no. I see what you're doing here, alright, listen, this is my job buddy. Okay, I've had it for five years, and I know how it works, so why don't you just catch me up! Gavin Mitchell : Fine. Rachel Green : Oh god. You've totally messed with the back support of my chair. How do you fix this? Gavin Mitchell : Hey, you've been here five years, you figure it out. Rachel Green : Fine, I will. Alright, fill me in! Ross Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : You have a blue tie that would go with this? Emma spit up on mine. Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah. But you have to give it back if I get a job. Of course, by that time in the future ties will be obsolete and we'll all be wearing silver jump suits. Monica Geller : Hi, good morning lover. I gotta say after last night, I'm a little weak in the knees. Ross Geller : Here's an idea. You walk into a room...take a quick scan! Monica Geller : Sorry. But I kind of have this feeling that we may have made a baby last night. Chandler Bing : Oh god, I have to tell you something. You're not pregnant. Monica Geller : What are you talking about? Chandler Bing : That thing that I have to do to make a baby. I faked it. Monica Geller : What!? You faked it? Ross Geller : You know what? I don't need a tie. I mean, it's better, open collar. You know, it's more casual. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, listen. I can't do this, it doesn't make any sense. Yesterday I was a nurse, and today I'm a waitress at a cafe? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It's okay. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse. And now suddenly I'm the waitress? That's gonna confuse my fans. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you are a nurse, but you moonlight as a waitress. Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh. Because I'm a single mother, supporting my two children. Joey Tribbiani : Nice. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute. Dr. Drake Ramoray and I work at the same hospital. Wouldn't I come over to say hi to him? Joey Tribbiani : No, no. See, you and Drake are having a fight. Phoebe Buffay : About what? Joey Tribbiani : He slept with you and then never called you. Phoebe Buffay : And I just wanted a new daddy for Davy and Becky. Director : Okay, okay, from the top. And...Action! Man : So, I'm surprised you agreed to have lunch with me. Dr. Drake Ramoray : I'm surprised to, but yet here I am. Director : Cut, cut! What are you doing!? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, well, I'm very angry at him, because he slept with me and never called me back. Extra : Me too! Another Extra : Me too! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, calm down! She means on the show! We need some new extras around here! Gavin Mitchell : Wow, you're here already. Rachel Green : Yes. Emma and I came in a little early to do research on the presentation. I actually made a few changes, but I think I'm caught up on everything. So ask me anything! Gavin Mitchell : How do you fix the chair? Rachel Green : Except that! Oh, hello, Mr. Zelner. We're all ready for our presentation this afternoon. Mr. Zelner : Good, because it's in ten minutes. Rachel Green : What? I can't do that! I have the baby, and Ross is not gonna pick her up for another hour. Mr. Zelner : Well, then Gavin can give the presentation, okay, we have to do it now. Ralph needs to leave early today. He's going helicopter shopping. Rachel Green : Well, there you go. You win, you win. You get to do the presentation, you'll knock 'em dead, no one will ever remember that I worked here, and then Ralph will buy his helicopter, and Super Gavin will just fly right along side of him! Gavin Mitchell : You can do the presentation. Rachel Green : No, I can't, I have a baby. Gavin Mitchell : I'll watch her. Rachel Green : Why would you do that? Gavin Mitchell : Because you've worked really hard, and it's your job, and you're a little crazy. Rachel Green : That's really nice. Gavin Mitchell : I should tell you that crying women make me very uncomfortable. Rachel Green : Then you're not gonna like what's coming. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thank you, thank you. Gavin Mitchell : I'm really fine, don't worry, I'm great with children. Gavin Mitchell. Pleased to meet you. Joey Tribbiani : Please don't fire my friend. Just let me talk to her. Director : Okay, okay. But this is her last chance. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you, thank you. How about I do something for you? Tomorrow, I'll bring you a hat, cover up the bald? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, listen Pheebs. I was just talking to the director, and he was thinking, maybe this time you don't hit Drake, you just wait on the tables? Phoebe Buffay : I can't do that. I'm an actor. I have a process. Joey Tribbiani : You're a masseuse. You have a table with a hole in it. Phoebe Buffay : Wait a minute, I see what's happening here. You're threatened. Joey Tribbiani : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm so good in this scene that I'm stealing focus from you. Well, rise to the challenge Tribianni 'cause I just raised the bar. Come join me up here! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you can fire her, but I would call security, she won't go easy. Monica Geller : You faked it? You couldn't have faked it! Chandler Bing : Oh yes you can. You just make the faces and the noises. Monica Geller : Guys can fake it? Unbelievable. The one thing that's ours! Besides, why would you fake it when we're trying to have a baby? Chandler Bing : That's actually why. Look, I'm starting a whole new career now, and I'm not saying that I don't want to have a baby, I'm just saying maybe we could wait a little while. Monica Geller : Like a month? Chandler Bing : Or a year? Monica Geller : Really, you want to wait a year? Chandler Bing : It could be less than a year. I mean, you've heard my stuff. "Pants. Like shorts, but longer." It'll probably be more than a year. Monica Geller : I really wanna have a baby. Chandler Bing : Yeah, me too. Look, I'll just get my old job back. Monica Geller : No, I want you to have a job that you love. Not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration. Chandler Bing : I quit and you learn what I do? Monica Geller : It's just, I think, there's never gonna be a right time to have a baby. I mean, now you're unemployed and in a little while you'll find a new job that'll keep you really busy. There's always gonna be a reason not to do this, but I think once the baby comes, forget about all those reasons. Chandler Bing : I guess. It's always gonna be scary when we have a baby. Monica Geller : It's gonna be really scary. I mean, god. When we have a baby, there's gonna be so much that we're not able to control. I mean, the apartment's gonna be a mess, I won't have time to clean it. What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer? Messes up all the ribbons?! What if there's no room for a ribbon drawer, because the baby's stuff takes up all the space!? Where will all the ribbons go!?! Chandler Bing : Should we go make a baby right now before you change your mind? Monica Geller : Yes, please! Chandler Bing : Oh, and I promise, I will not fake it this time. Monica Geller : I wish I could say the same. I'm a little shook up! Dr. Drake Ramoray : I know you botched that operation on purpose. I can't prove it yet, but when I do, you'll be going to jail for murder. I don't care if you are my brother. Man : I'm not your brother. Phoebe Buffay : What about my children Drake?! Huh!? No!! No!! No! God! Chandler Bing : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. So where's Mon? Chandler Bing : Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight. Joey Tribbiani : And you're not helping? Chandler Bing : I tried, but apparantly singing "I will survive" in a helium voice - not helping. Ross Geller : Hey you guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Happy birthday ... Rachel Green : Shhh don't say that loud, Gunther's gonna want to hug me. Ross Geller : Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly . Molly, Chandler, Joey. Chandler Bing : Hi. Molly : Hi. Ross Geller : Ooh, somebody's getting a little fussy. Joey Tribbiani : You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes. Rachel Green : Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside. Molly : No, you stay, I'll do it . Rachel Green : OK, thank you. Molly : Nice to meet you guys . Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you too. Rachel Green : Oh, wow, Molly is just great! Ross Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Yes, Bravo on the hot nanny. Rachel Green : What? You really think she's hot? Chandler Bing : Are you kidding? If I wasn't married she'd be rejecting me right now. Rachel Green : And Joey? Joey Tribbiani : How do you think she's doing? Rachel Green : Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross? Ross Geller : Eh, I mean, I mena she's not unattractive but hot? I .... Rachel Green : Thank you! Chandler Bing : Now that Rachel's gone? Rachel Green : So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Mike, what's the capital of Peru? Mike Hannigan : Lima. Phoebe Buffay : No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the middle. Mike Hannigan : You know, kinda think of it, the capital of Peru IS "vtox". Oh god! Oh! Phoebe Buffay : What? Mike Hannigan : OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, whew, no, that's Bob. Mike Hannigan : What, is he your pet rat? Phoebe Buffay : Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies. Mike Hannigan : You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus. Phoebe Buffay : What are those? Mike Hannigan : I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it! Phoebe Buffay : OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob. Mike Hannigan : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. Rachel Green : Hello. Gavin Mitchell : Hello. Rachel Green : Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology. Gavin Mitchell : For what? Rachel Green : Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious ... Gavin Mitchell : Is this your first appology? Rachel Green : No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you. Heather : Good morning! Rachel Green : Hello. But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished. Gavin Mitchell : What? Rachel Green : I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out! Gavin Mitchell : I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area. Rachel Green : Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep. Gavin Mitchell : Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate. Gavin Mitchell : I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag. Rachel Green : That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship. Gavin Mitchell : Huh. What's Tag's last name? Rachel Green : It was ... oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was just "Tag". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses. Gavin Mitchell : But it was a deap meaningful relationship. Rachel Green : Oh, you know what - my first impression of you was absolutely right. You are arrogant, you are pompous ... Morgan! Morgan! Tag's last name was Morgan! Huh! Gavin Mitchell : It was Jones. Rachel Green : Yeah well what are you, his boyfriend? Joey Tribbiani : Man, I wish I had a nanny like you. Molly : You mean, when you were a baby. Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Monica Geller : Would you stop staring at her? Chandler Bing : I wasn't staring. I was leering. Monica Geller : What's the big deal with her? Maybe she's attractive in an obvious kind of way. Ross Geller : Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it. Chandler Bing : Looks like Joey is doing allright with her. Monica Geller : Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once. Molly : I'm gonna take her back to the appartment. Ross Geller : Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ... Molly : Bye. Monica Geller : They've elected me to talk to you about the baby talk - it's not so good. Molly : I think it's sweet. Chandler Bing : Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma. Rachel Green : Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Rachel Green : Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away. Joey Tribbiani : So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? Yeah, sounds about right. Ross Geller : Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more! Ross Geller : What are you, a child? Joey Tribbiani : Yes! Ross Geller : Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else. Joey Tribbiani : Fine. Monica Geller : Take me home! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Mikey. Mike Hannigan : Hey P. Phoebe Buffay : What are you doing? Mike Hannigan : Setting rat traps. Phoebe Buffay : To kill Bob?? Mike Hannigan : No, no, to test his neck strength. Phoebe Buffay : No, Mike, I don't want to kill him! I thought we were just gonna capture him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet a friendly possom and a wisecracking owl. Mike Hannigan : Ok, ok, I'll throw away the traps. Phoebe Buffay : I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? Bob! Robert! Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom! Mike Hannigan : Better think of a new name for him. Phoebe Buffay : I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl. Mike Hannigan : I don't know, I mean I'm not sure ... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god, we killed Bob! Mike Hannigan : Maybe it wasn't Bob, maybe it was a mouse. Phoebe Buffay : Suzie? Ross Geller : Whazzup?? Chandler Bing : Seriously dude, 3 years ago. Ross Geller : Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly? Chandler Bing : You don't trust him? Ross Geller : Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny". Chandler Bing : Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now. Ross Geller : You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me? Chandler Bing : Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it. Ross Geller : Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees. Chandler Bing : Picturing that tree? Ross Geller : I am, yes. Chandler Bing : Where you going, Joe? Joey Tribbiani : For a walk. Chandler Bing : Oh. You mind if I join you? Joey Tribbiani : Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts. Chandler Bing : Your thoughts? Plural? Joey Tribbiani : Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her! Chandler Bing : I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe. Joey Tribbiani : Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there? Chandler Bing : Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go. Joey Tribbiani : Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of. Chandler Bing : Great novels? Joey Tribbiani : Fine ... mediocre porn. Gavin Mitchell : Gavin Mitchelle's office. Rachel Green : Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son. Gavin Mitchell : Hey Mom! No, that's just my secretary. Rachel Green : Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you. Gavin Mitchell : Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. Yes? Rachel Green : If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a mirror? Gavin Mitchell : Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. Man, I really bug you, don't I? Rachel Green : Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now. Monica Geller : Hey Rach! Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Ready for your birthday lunch? Rachel Green : Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle. Gavin Mitchell : Pleased to meet you. Monica Geller : Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight? Rachel Green : Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother. Gavin Mitchell : Well I don't mind, I'll cancel. I would never miss my secretary's birthday. Rachel Green : Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy! Monica Geller : You were just being so nice to him! Rachel Green : I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake? Rachel Green : Hey, Mr Philips, nice suit! Monica Geller : Right there! That was so fake! Rachel Green : Shh! Rachel Green : I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see. Monica Geller : Oh, you're welcome for the party. I'm glad you're having a good time. Rachel Green : God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me. Monica Geller : Does he? Rachel Green : What? Monica Geller : Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me? Rachel Green : Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over. Molly : She's out, I'm gonna take her home. Rachel Green : Oh, ok, thank you. Do you see what all the guys see in her? Monica Geller : Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more Vodka for me! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure! Joey Tribbiani : Oh ... Happy birth ... oh, see you later. Monica Geller : Hey Rach, somebody got you shoes! Rachel Green : Oh, give me! Phoebe Buffay : Be careful, be careful! These are my rat babies! Mike Hannigan : Yeah. We have rat babies now. Rachel Green : Ahhhh , you brought rats to my birthday party? Monica Geller : So this is what a stroke feels like. Phoebe Buffay : I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother. Rachel Green : Are you comparing my daughter to a rat? Phoebe Buffay : No! Seven rats! I think we should take them home, we need feed them. Rachel Green : whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats? Phoebe Buffay : Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. Ross Geller : Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, I got a little occupied. Ross Geller : We have to stop them before something happens! Chandler Bing : Right behind you, big guy! Joey Tribbiani : So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work. Molly : So where did you study? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I didn't go to college. Molly : No, where did you study acting? Joey Tribbiani : Molly ... people don't study acting ... Ross Geller : Molly, ah, do you mind giving us just a minute? Molly : Sure, I'll go check on Emma. Ross Geller : Thanx. Joey Tribbiani : Will the stable boy never get the princess?? Ross Geller : What do you think you're gonna do, have sex with her right here on my couch? Joey Tribbiani : No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again. Chandler Bing : Come on! Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Woman : Hi, is Molly here? Ross Geller : Yeah, come on in. Molly? Molly : Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha . I'll see you tomorrow. Ross Geller : Ok ... Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem. Joey Tribbiani : It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed. Mike Hannigan : Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats? Phoebe Buffay : Well, you know what, they're our responsibility now. Mike Hannigan : Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them? Phoebe Buffay : Mate? They're all brothers and sisters. Mike Hannigan : Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals. Phoebe Buffay : No. wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do? Mike Hannigan : Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites. Mike Hannigan : It's gonna be ok. Phoebe Buffay : You must think I'm crazy. Mike Hannigan : No, I think you're sweet. Phoebe Buffay : Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. I haven't told you about that yet, have I? Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi. Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up? Monica Geller : No way! You had your party, now I have mine! Is everything alright? Rachel Green : Yeah, I just get a little bummed when my birthday's over. Monica Geller : Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up . Rachel Green : Mmm hmm. Gavin Mitchell : Yeah, hey. Monica Geller : Oh, we weren't talking about you. No, no way to recover. Rachel Green : No. Gavin Mitchell : Nice party. Rachel Green : Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ... Monica Geller : Again, you're welcome. Gavin Mitchell : Look, I'll just give you this and go. Rachel Green : Oh, you bought me a present! Why? Gavin Mitchell : Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier. Rachel Green : Aww. Well, ok, well that's very nice. And you wrote a card . "From Gavin" Gavin Mitchell : I really mean it. Rachel Green : Awww, awww, it's beautiful. Gavin Mitchell : You don't mind? Well, what do you know, it fits! Rachel Green : See, Gavin, you're capable of being a nice guy. Why did you give me such a hard time? Gavin Mitchell : I'm not sure. Rachel Green : Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me. Gavin Mitchell : I do have feelings for you. Rachel Green : You do? Gavin Mitchell : Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying. Rachel Green : See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... and you do that ... Chandler Bing : First I was afraid, I was petrified. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, I think I've left something here. Chandler Bing : Oh, well someone left this . This is yours? Phoebe Buffay : No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies. Chandler Bing : Oh, uh, well, I haven't seem it but if I do I'll let you know. Monica Geller : Ohmygod! Rat baby! Rat baby! Rat baby! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, maybe that's him! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night? Chandler Bing : Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!! Ross Geller : OK you...you really don't know what I am talking about? Chandler Bing : No! Ross Geller : OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony. Chandler Bing : Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will" Ross Geller : Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS ! Chandler Bing : So are you gonna...talk to her? Ross Geller : Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine! Chandler Bing : You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits! Ross Geller : No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah! Chandler Bing : No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving? Ross Geller : I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand. Chandler Bing : Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life! Ross Geller : Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner. Chandler Bing : Why did I get married?! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy? Phoebe Buffay : Well it depends. Joey Tribbiani : On...? Phoebe Buffay : On how far along he's in the sex change process! Monica Geller : No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are... Joey Tribbiani : Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out! Phoebe Buffay : Your knuckles are kinda hairy too... Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! I have to get those done too?! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Talking about high maintenance. Joey Tribbiani : Hey hey! You dye your hair! Phoebe Buffay : I'm a woman! Joey Tribbiani : Arghhh! Double standards! Phoebe Buffay : Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight? Monica Geller : Only if I don't have to get up and sing. Phoebe Buffay : But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped outand everyone booed him off the stage. So funny. Monica Geller : It's just, I'm not good at singing. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing? Monica Geller : No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up! Phoebe Buffay : OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing. Monica Geller : So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others? Phoebe Buffay : While drinking... Monica Geller : I'm there! Rachel Green : Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid. Phoebe Buffay : Well yes Rachel but you got something so beautiful out there. Rachel Green : No not that. I kissed Gavin last night. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. Monica Geller : You kissed him? Rachel Green : Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and... Monica Geller : Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that? Phoebe Buffay : It was the end of the party, you were probably ironing wrapping paper. Monica Geller : Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing? Rachel Green : You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf... Monica Geller : I thought you hated him? Rachel Green : You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf! Monica Geller : So are you thinking of starting up something with this guy? Rachel Green : I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes. Monica Geller : Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross. Rachel Green : Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all... Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!! Salon Girl : Hi. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I'm here for my eyebrow appointment. Salon Girl : Name? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler Bing. Salon Girl : Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you. Joey Tribbiani : OK Thanks.. I touched the stuff. Sonia : I'll take care of it. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here? Sonia : Oh absolutely. Joey Tribbiani : Oh good... Sonia : Are you looking to meet somebody? Joey Tribbiani : All right let's just do this. Sonia : We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit... Joey Tribbiani : Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow! Chandler Bing : Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going? Ross Geller : Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants. Chandler Bing : Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself.... Ross Geller : That's funny...Do you think you'll ever work again? Chandler Bing : What are doing? You know I can only dish it out! Ross Geller : I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me. Chandler Bing : Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing. Ross Geller : No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar. Chandler Bing : Did she go out with him? Ross Geller : No. When he called, I...I threw the message away. Chandler Bing : Ah! The high road... Ross Geller : You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me! Chandler Bing : Are you trying to get everybody divorced? Ross Geller : You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one... Chandler Bing : I thought I had to make the jokes! Ross Geller : Don't you have to be at work? Chandler Bing : Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!! Ross Geller : Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here's a question: "Would you...would you rather drown or be burnt alive?" Blonde Girl : Sorry...we were just leaving. Chandler Bing : We still got it! Rachel Green : Who is it? Gavin Mitchell : Gavin! I brought you some soup. Rachel Green : Why? Gavin Mitchell : I heard you were sick... Rachel Green : Oh! Right! Yeah! Hold on, I'll be just clean up in here a little bit! Hello Gavin. Gavin Mitchell : I missed you at work today. How are you feeling? Rachel Green : I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick. Gavin Mitchell : Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me. Rachel Green : Oh no no no. Gavin Mitchell : So I had fun last night. Rachel Green : So did I. Gavin Mitchell : Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you? Rachel Green : It's just a cold. Gavin Mitchell : Do you have fever? Let me see. Hum... Rachel Green : What? What's the matter? Gavin Mitchell : What's Ross doing to you on that picture? Rachel Green : Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny. Gavin Mitchell : Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything. Rachel Green : Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really. Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide! Gavin Mitchell : Yeah! But you said not to worry about... Rachel Green : I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain! Molly : Hi! Rachel Green : Oh! Molly! You're not Ross. Molly : No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember? Rachel Green : Right, right, yes! Molly : Don't panic! Rachel Green : What? Molly : There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse. Rachel Green : No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly.Gavin come out from behind that curtain! Gavin Mitchell : Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there. Molly : Hello! I just go and get Emma. Rachel Green : OK. Gavin Mitchell : So hum...Why did I have to hide? Rachel Green : I thought it was Ross. Gavin Mitchell : So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two... Rachel Green : There isn't. There is totally isn't. Gavin Mitchell : You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown. Rachel Green : All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place. Gavin Mitchell : It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice? Rachel Green : Yes. Gavin Mitchell : I think you should talk to Ross about all this. Rachel Green : People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin. Gavin Mitchell : Don't be. It's just bad timing. Rachel Green : So seriously...rodeo clown? Gavin Mitchell : One of the best, ma'am, one of the best... Phoebe Buffay : "No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world...!" Thank you! Mike Hannigan : Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge! Phoebe Buffay : Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing. Monica Geller : No I told you I can't. Phoebe Buffay : But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice. Monica Geller : What have you heard me sing? Phoebe Buffay : All the time when you're cooking. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah you're always singing "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy" Monica Geller : Yeah I do rock that one. Phoebe Buffay : OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there? Monica Geller : Just a little but...it's just so scary! I don't even know what I would sing... Mike Hannigan : Well I've got a book around... Monica Geller : "Delta Dawn" Ross Geller : Hi! I could help not notice, but that's an unusual necklace. Woman : You already hit on me an hour ago. Ross Geller : Right, so that's a firm "no". I cannot believe this, I just keep striking out. Chandler Bing : I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed. Ross Geller : This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone. Chandler Bing : By drowning or...?! Michelle : Why would he break up with me? Her Friend : I don't know sweetie. Michelle : All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back. I mean, am I so unlovable? Chandler Bing : Well... Ross Geller : I know! Mike Hannigan : All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of "I touch myself". Coming up next we've got Monicasinging "Delta Dawn". Monica Geller : Wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people. Phoebe Buffay : Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway. Monica Geller : Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn""Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ..." Phoebe Buffay : Can you totally see through her shirt ? Mike Hannigan : Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra. Monica Geller : "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?" Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I need your help. Chandler Bing : Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd? Joey Tribbiani : Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped. Chandler Bing : I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please! Joey Tribbiani : You may be a sissy but I'll still . All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don't match! Chandler Bing : It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama! Joey Tribbiani : All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don't look stupid for my pictures. Chandler Bing : Ok. First of all, this is green! Joey Tribbiani : What the hell am I supposed to do! Chandler Bing : All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you. Joey Tribbiani : What, what. Chandler Bing : Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mineby plucking the eyebrows of my father and his "business" partners. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help Victor Victoria! Joey Tribbiani : Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don't know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad! Chandler Bing : Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe Vera and my gentle self-loathing touch. Monica Geller : "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there? Phoebe Buffay : Every little bit of you! Monica Geller : I can't believe I did this. I can't believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting "look at those tips"! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips? Mike Hannigan : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Mon', not that you didn't sound good, but... Monica Geller : Good? Didn't you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That's is the best gift ever. Mike Hannigan : Also a good gift? Underwear. Michelle : Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone doanything else. Ross Geller : But, what's great is that you don't mind talking about it. Michelle : It's so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with me, because it's like you lose a boyfriend,you get a boyfriend. Ross Geller : Uh-ah! Michelle : No don't worry, this is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric. Ross Geller : . Good choice Ross. Rachel Green : Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I've been looking for you everywhere! Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, hello, well, now, here I am. Rachel Green : Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o' clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk... somebody here? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, yeah that's Michelle. Rachel Green : Who? Ross Geller : Oh, just this woman I've been seeing. Rachel Green : You've being seeing someone? Ross Geller : Yeah, didn't I mention that? Yeah, I mean, we haven't being going out for too long, but rather there is thisamazing connection between us. I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend. I thought it wasa little too soon, but it was also, you know, it was kinda nice. Michelle : What are you taking amoxicillin for? Ross Geller : How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that'smy roommate, Rachel. Rachel Green : Hi, and I am also Emma's mother. Michelle : Ah, who is Emma? Ross Geller : I told you about my daughter. Michelle : This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy! Chandler Bing : And done! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! I didn't feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon. Chandler Bing : Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing! Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right aboutthere, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you so much. Chandler Bing : No problem. Joey Tribbiani : Listen that's a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it. Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Comb my eyelashes. Monica Geller : Ok, for my next song I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters "I am so excited". And make it bouncy! Phoebe Buffay : Oh you'll probably take care of that on your hands. Chandler Bing : I am sorry I am late. You'll understand when you'll see Joey. Monica Geller : Honey, you're just in time, I'm about to sing another song! Chandler Bing : Really? In front of all this people? Monica Geller : And they love me! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, she gives the people what they want. Monica Geller : All right, watch! Monica Geller : "Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll put all other things aside. Give in thistime and show me some affection..." Chandler Bing : Are those my wife's nipples? Phoebe Buffay : Oh? Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before, I wouldn't have let her go up again. Chandler Bing : I gotta stop this. Monica Geller : Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..." Chandler Bing : You, touching yourself, out! Rachel Green : Wow. She does that a lot! Michelle : Ross, you didn't tell me you were a doctor! Rachel Green : What, what, wait a minute! You haven't even told her you were a doctor, yet? How long have you known her, likean hour? Michelle : Actually about an hour and a half. Ross Geller : I told you it wasn't long, but there is an amazing connection between us. Michelle : You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me! Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Michelle : Hey, do you want to go away this weekend? Ross Geller : We'll see. Rachel Green : Ok, Ross, what's going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now? Ross Geller : I don't know, are we just kissing guys on balconies? Rachel Green : How do you know about that? Ross Geller : Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep... Michelle : Emma. Ross Geller : When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week? Rachel Green : Oh, that's what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me? Michelle : No, actually, see I had to pee, 'cause I can't use public bathrooms because the doodie parasites. Ross Geller : Ok, Michelle, it's time to go. Michelle : Well, call me! Ross Geller : Ok. Michelle : No, wait, you don't have my phone number! Ross Geller : You know, if it's meant to be, I'll guess it. Bye, bye. Rachel Green : Score. Ross Geller : Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties onthe balcony. Rachel Green : Oh God, I can't believe you're making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time! Ross Geller : Oh, really! Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh, really! Rachel Green : Oh yeah. Ross Geller : What about the guy from the bar? Rachel Green : What? Who? Ross Geller : The guy you gave your number to. Rachel Green : Whoa, how do you know about that? Ross Geller : Because he called here looking for you. So don't tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You've been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn't even have the courtesy to tell me. Rachel Green : Why didn't I get that message? Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : From the guy in the bar, why didn't I get that message? Ross Geller : Because I folded it up and put in my pants pocket. Do you...do you not look there? Rachel Green : Ross? Ross Geller : I never gave it to you. Rachel Green : Why? Ross Geller : I don't know. Rachel Green : Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get? Ross Geller : Who am I? Rachel Green : Yes. Ross Geller : I am the guy who's taking care of our baby while you're out at bars meeting guys! Rachel Green : Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can't do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment! Ross Geller : None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That's not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn't tell anyone! Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What's wrong with us? You know when people hear about our situation theyAlways ask, "what, you live together but you're not a couple? And you have a baby, isn't that weird? And I say "No.You know what, it's not, because it works for us! But you know this doesn't work. In fact this is the opposite of working! Ross Geller : Uh, clearly. Rachel Green : And you know, we said that we would, we would live together as long as this makes sense. An maybe this, you know,Just doesn't make sense anymore. Ross Geller : Yeah, maybe not. So what you wanna do? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while? Joey Tribbiani : Ha, oh, of course. Rachel Green : Thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Your eyebrows look weird. Chandler Bing : "Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped himdrink his wine." So you just touch yourself for anything? Joey Tribbiani : Morning, roomie! Rachel Green : Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning. Joey Tribbiani : Fifth day's a charm. Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night? Ross Geller : Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight? Rachel Green : Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so... Joey Tribbiani : She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night. Rachel Green : Bye! Ross Geller : Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you. Joey Tribbiani : No, hey, it's been great. Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump... Ross Geller : Yeah, that'll do it. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! So, how are you? Ross Geller : I'm, I'm okay. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce. Joey Tribbiani : Well, actually it... Ross Geller : No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people. Joey Tribbiani : Wow, really? Ross Geller : Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me... Joey Tribbiani : Sure, I know lots of girls. Ross Geller : Yeah? Any names come to mind? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, names? Opening credits. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something? Phoebe Buffay : What you got? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots... Ooh! Strained plums. We haven't tried that yet. Phoebe Buffay : Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food. Joey Tribbiani : I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too. Joey Tribbiani : Why are they doing this? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy. Joey Tribbiani : You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here? Phoebe Buffay : I just wish they'd realise they should be together. Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed. Phoebe Buffay : I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children. Joey Tribbiani : Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name. Phoebe Buffay : You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's still in the bedroom. Phoebe Buffay : So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people? Joey Tribbiani : I know; that just pushes them further and further apart. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, that's a great plan! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." Joey Tribbiani : Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh... Rachel Green : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you? Chandler Bing : See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries. Rachel Green : I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight. Monica Geller : Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to? Rachel Green : Well, Phoebe set me up on a date. Monica Geller : Oh my god. Chandler Bing : Wow. Rachel Green : Why? What's the big deal? Monica Geller : Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are... Rachel Green : What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set. Chandler Bing : Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood! Monica Geller : You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume! Rachel Green : So I'll bring her by around seven? Is that okay? Monica Geller : Oh, it's perfect. Rachel Green : Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun! Chandler Bing : Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight. Joey Tribbiani : All right! Who is he? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. Joey Tribbiani : She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher! Phoebe Buffay : A teacher? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles? Phoebe Buffay : Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god, you're right! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : She even reads for pleasure! Phoebe Buffay : How do you even know a woman like that? Joey Tribbiani : What? I'm not allowed to know smart women? Phoebe Buffay : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : I met her at the library. I went in to pee. Phoebe Buffay : So now what do we do? Joey Tribbiani : Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else. Phoebe Buffay : What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh...I hear that's bad. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, yes, The Plan! Phoebe Buffay : It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you know, it's not that fun. Phoebe Buffay : No, I think we killed it. Chandler Bing : Emma? Emma? Look at me! Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while. Chandler Bing : No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! It's okay, it's okay. I didn't go. Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your uncle Chandler; funny is all I have! Monica Geller : Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours. Chandler Bing : I don't do that. Chandler Bing : I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Today is the sixth. Monica Geller : No, it's not. Chandler Bing : Yes, it's also 2003. Monica Geller : Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant. Chandler Bing : It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay. Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Tough crib. Monica Geller : Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here. Chandler Bing : I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : I am not working. There's not much to do around here! Ross Geller : Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle? Waiter : Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy. Ross Geller : Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me. Waiter : Can I get you another glass of wine? Ross Geller : Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone. Waiter : Got stood up, huh? Ross Geller : Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date. Waiter : Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left? Ross Geller : No! Monica Geller : We're okay. I'm still ovulating. Chandler Bing : Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not. Monica Geller : So, let's do this. Chandler Bing : I - I don't think I can. Monica Geller : Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute. Chandler Bing : Because of Emma. Monica Geller : Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone. Chandler Bing : Sorry. Monica Geller : Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age? Chandler Bing : Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it. Monica Geller : Canoodling? Chandler Bing : Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw" in front of the B-A-B-Y. Monica Geller : I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so... Chandler Bing : Horrifying? Scarring? Something people go to jail for? Monica Geller : I guess you're right. Chandler Bing : You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window. Monica Geller : But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer? Rachel Green : Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken. Steve : I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful. Rachel Green : Oh, well, that's - that's very sweet. Thank you. Steve : I'm kind of funny looking. Rachel Green : What? Steve : Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not! Rachel Green : So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken. Steve : I'm not funny either. So, if you were thinking, "well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have some laughs"... That ain't gonna happen. Rachel Green : Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive. Steve : I lost it. To drugs. Steve : I silk-screen t-shirts now. Rachel Green : Really? What's that like? Steve : It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile. Rachel Green : Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself. Steve : I do like my hair. Rachel Green : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Hello? Rachel Green : Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Rach! Rachel Green : This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep? Phoebe Buffay : You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends. Rachel Green : I don't care! This guy is a nightmare! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned. Rachel Green : He's not stoned. Phoebe Buffay : Did he go out for a cigarette? Rachel Green : Yeah, four times. Phoebe Buffay : My dear, sweet Rach. Phoebe Buffay : Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together. Phoebe Buffay : By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan. Monica Geller : She's asleep. Chandler? Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Emma was doing it! Monica Geller : She's asleep. Chandler Bing : Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can... Monica Geller : Yes, but we have to be fast. Chandler Bing : Okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise. Monica Geller : Okay, I'll try. Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Joey Tribbiani : Emma? Hey! Hi! Joey Tribbiani : How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed? Joey Tribbiani : You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E! Waiter : I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left. Ross Geller : Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be. Waiter : Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house. Ross Geller : Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight. Waiter : Ooh... Ross Geller : Just the crab cakes. Waiter #2 : What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that. Waiter : Just get out of here, okay? Ross Geller : What's - what's going on? Waiter : Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home. Ross Geller : What? You - you're making money off my misery? Waiter : Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am. Ross Geller : This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way. Monica Geller : Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast. Chandler Bing : I think we may have really done it this time. Monica Geller : Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test. Chandler Bing : You may wanna get some more of those too. Chandler Bing : Where's Emma? Monica Geller : Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma? Chandler Bing : Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you! Monica Geller : Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel. Steve : I - I can't believe I'm crying in front of you. You must think I'm so pathetic. Rachel Green : No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry. Steve : Really? Rachel Green : Don't touch my coat! Rachel Green : Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello? Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, how's it going? Rachel Green : Oh my god, this is the worst date ever! Rachel Green : Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? What's up? Monica Geller : Hey, did you stop by here? Rachel Green : No. Monica Geller : Oh my god, then... Monica Geller : Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are! Rachel Green : What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she? Monica Geller : Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." She just - she loves it when I'm dramatic. Monica Geller : Why the hell did you take her? Joey Tribbiani : Because you two were having sex! Monica Geller : No, we weren't! Joey Tribbiani : Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once? Chandler Bing : All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this. Chandler Bing : No, no, no. Monica Geller : No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I gotta! Unless... Monica Geller : Unless what? Joey Tribbiani : Unless you name your firstborn child Joey. Chandler Bing : What? Why? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name. Chandler Bing : Your family name is Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani : You almost had me. Rachel Green : Well, uh... Steve : Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but... Would you like to make love to me? Rachel Green : Really, really not. Steve : Eh, it's just as well. Doesn't work anyway. Rachel Green : All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve. Ross Geller : Hey, what's wrong? Rachel Green : I just had a rough night. Ross Geller : Oh. Crab cake? Rachel Green : Eww! Ross Geller : Well, what happened? Rachel Green : Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but... Ross Geller : Monica told me you had a blind date. Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : I did, too. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up? Rachel Green : Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left? Ross Geller : Why does everyone keep saying that? Rachel Green : Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up. Ross Geller : That bad? Rachel Green : Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this. Ross Geller : Female body inspector? What size is that? Phoebe Buffay : Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey? Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. Phoebe Buffay : How - how do I get them to name the next one after me? Joey Tribbiani : It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working. Phoebe Buffay : Don't, don't do the plan-laugh. Ross Geller : The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters. Rachel Green : Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show. Ross Geller : Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid. Joey Tribbiani : We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run! Joey Tribbiani : Where? Phoebe Buffay : Mexico! End credits. Joey Tribbiani : Can you believe they're still not here? Ross Geller : I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances? Joey Tribbiani : I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now? Waiter : What? Joey Tribbiani : We've been stood up. And we want our free crab cakes. Waiter : Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry. Steve : I have such fat hands! Chandler Bing : Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica Geller : Really? Let's get past the moment. Phoebe Buffay : What's your news? Chandler Bing : Thank you. I got a job in advertising. Monica Geller : Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe Buffay : Gosh, what's the pay like? Oh, come on people... come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! Hey Joey! Chandler Bing : Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler Bing : Right. So, it'll be the same except... less sex with you. Ross Geller : So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler Bing : Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe Buffay : That's great. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating. Chandler Bing : Humiliating and noble! Ross Geller : You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica Geller : Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross Geller : Yes, I did, I did! I should have written it down! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first day. ... and I smelled bacon. Monica Geller : He just left. Joey Tribbiani : Who did? Rachel Green : Joey! You never gonna believe it: she called. Joey Tribbiani : She did? Rachel Green : You got it! Joey Tribbiani : I did? Monica Geller : What is she talking about? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, but it sounds great. Rachel Green : Your agent called. You got that audition. Joey Tribbiani : With Lennart Haze? Rachel Green : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god, that is great! That is *** for a play on broadway... and in a real theatre, not that little one underneath the dally like last time. Monica Geller : Is it a good play? Joey Tribbiani : Well, it must be, because I read and I didn't understand a singe word. Rachel Green : Yeah, and Lennart Haze is starring in it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, and directing. Monica Geller : He was so good in that movie of MacBeth. Rachel Green : You saw that? Monica Geller : No, but... I saw the previews. They played it right before Jackass. Joey Tribbiani : Ah! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he's done some amazing works. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. Oh, I loved him in those cell phone commercials. Joey Tribbiani : I know. When the monkey hits him in the face with that giant rubber phone. Monica Geller : Hey! Maybe the monkey will be at the audition! Joey Tribbiani : Don't make me more nervous than I already am! Chandler Bing : Good morning, everybody. Intern : Can I get you a cup of coffee, Sir? Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no, I'm an intern, just like you guys... except for the tie, the briefcase... and the fact that I can rent a car. Intern : Seriously, you're an intern? Chandler Bing : Yeah, well, I'm kinda heading into a new career direction and, you know, you gotta start at the bottom. Intern : Dude! Chandler Bing : Right. Look, I know I'm a little bit older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope. Chandler Bing : The comedian? USO?! Intern : Uhm, it's USA, sir. Receptionist : This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers and, as you probably already know, this is Lennart Haze. Joey Tribbiani : It is so amazing to meet you. I'm such a big fan of your work. Lennart : Well, I've... I've been blessed with a... a lot of great roles. Joey Tribbiani : Tell me about it! "Unlimited nights and weekends!" Lennart : You making fun of me? Because I am not a sell-out. I didn't do that for the money, I believe in those phones. I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service. Joey Tribbiani : No, I-I-I wasn't making fun of you, honestly, I-I think you were great in those commercials. Lennart : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Lennart : Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role. Joey Tribbiani : Are you kiddin'? When they shoot you out of that cannon. Lennart : Peeeeeooooooooch "Hang up that phone!" One take! Joey Tribbiani : Wow! Lennart : So, shall we read? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yah, sure. Lennart : Top of act two. This is my entrance. You got it? Lennart : "What the hell are you still doing here"? Joey Tribbiani : Err, "I think you know". Lennart : "Bastard"! Joey Tribbiani : "I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now." Lennart : "Go, go!" Joey Tribbiani : "I can't. Oh, I want to, long pause, but I can't." Lennart : I'm sorry, sorry. You're not supposed to say "long pause" Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, I thought that was your character's name, you know, I thought you were like an Indian or something, you know with a... Lennart : No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it, thank you. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, y-y-you're sure you don't want me to do it again? I could do it with an accent, you know, Southern "I could go right now, maaan!" Lennart : My god in heaven. Producer #1 : Joey, hang on for a second. Lennart, can we talk to you for a moment? Lennart : You, you gotta be kidding. See, h-he, he can't act. . Lennart : Hey! I-I-I don't care if he's hot, you know. If you want to sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play. No, listen: if you insist on this, I will call my agent so fast on a cell phone that has a connection that is so clear he's gonna think I'm next door. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, hi, ah. Thank you so much for whispering for my benefit, but, ah, look, if you just tell me what I did wrong, I'd just love to work on it and come back and try it again for you. And, and also: 'How you doing?' You should, please, just gimme another chance. I really wanna get better, please. Lennart : Well, if you wanna come back at the end of the day today, here are my notes. Ready? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Lennart : Uhm, you're in your head. You-you're thinking way too much. Joey Tribbiani : I really doubt that. Lennart : No, no, no. It's that you're not connected with anything in your body. There's no urgency. The scene is a struggle, uhm, it's a race. Also, what you did was horizontal. Don't be afraid to explore the vertical. And don't learn the words. Let the words learn you. Joey Tribbiani : Couldn't I just sleep with the producer? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, do you wanna go to dinner tonight? Ross Geller : Oh, I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katy, yeah, I know we've been only going out like twice, but I have a really good feeling about her. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I hear divorce bells. Lowell (mugger) : Alright. Just give me your wallets and there won't be a problem. Ross Geller : What? Lowell (mugger) : I have a gun. Ross Geller : O-ok. Just relax, Phoene, just stay calm. . Oh my god, I can't find my wallet. Lowell (mugger) : Alright, lady, now give me your purse! Phoebe Buffay : No. Ross Geller : What do you mean "no"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : Lowell, is that you? Lowell (mugger) : Phoebe? Oh my god! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, Ross, this is my old friend Lowell from the streets. Lowell, Ross. Lowell (mugger) : Ross, nice to meet you. Ross Geller : Yeah, a real pleasure. Phoebe Buffay : Ah, it's been so long, so long. I can't believe you're still doing this! Lowell (mugger) : Ough, I know, but I quit smoking! Phoebe Buffay : Good for you! Lowell (mugger) : So you look like you're doing really well! I guess you're mugging days are behind you? Phoebe Buffay : Ouh... Ross Geller : Oh my god. Phoebe, you used to mug people? Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up. Monica Geller : Hey, how did the audition go? Joey Tribbiani : Well, they wanna see me again this afternoon, but, err, well, Lennart Haze did not like me. Monica Geller : What happened? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he said I wasn't urgent enough, you know, and that everything I did was horizontal and I should be more vertical. Oh, and he said that I should think less. Monica Geller : So far so good! Chandler Bing : Honey, I'm old! Monica Geller : What's wrong? Chandler Bing : I am so much older than these other interns. I can't compete with them. Monica Geller : So you're a little older. Try to look at the positive: You have all this life experience. Chandler Bing : Yes, but I don't think life experience with these. Joey Tribbiani : Wooooooooow It's like they're on fire! Monica Geller : What are they? Chandler Bing : They're these prototype sneakers and come up with ideas on how to sell them which I can't do because no self-respecting adult would ever where these. Joey Tribbiani : I give you $ 500 for them! Chandler Bing : What am I supposed to do with these? Monica Geller : Ah, come on, sneakers are easy. You wear sneakers all the time. Chandler Bing : Well, first of all, they're not called "sneakers" anymore. Apparently, they're called "kicks" or "skids" and I think I heard somebody say "slorps". And here, look: they've got these wheels to pop out from the bottom so you can roll around 'cause, apparently, walking is too much exercise. Kids, kids, roll your way to childhood obesity! Would you help me try to sell these? Monica Geller : Okay, have you considered using a girl with huge knockers? Chandler Bing : No, I don't think that's the kinda thing they're looking for. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that'd work on me! Why did I get to buy Mrs. Butterwords? #ALL# : Hey, hey! Ross Geller : Hey, you'll never guess what just happened... Phoebe and I got mugged! Monica Geller : You okay?! Ross Geller : Yah, because Phoebe knew the mugger! Monica Geller : How do you know a mugger? Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry I have friends outside the six of us. Ross Geller : You wanna know how she knew him? Because Phoebe used to mug people. Monica Geller : Seriously? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know... sometimes when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff I. Monica Geller : Phoebe, that is awful! Phoebe Buffay : Well, ok, I wasn't rich like you guys, ok, I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony... I had a hard life, my mother was killed by a drug dealer. Monica Geller : You're mother killed herself! Phoebe Buffay : She was a drug dealer! Ross Geller : Well, anyway, it was a good thing Phoebe knew the knew him, because I was about to do some serious damage! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Well, this must've brought back some really bad memories for you, Ross. Phoebe Buffay : Why? Monica Geller : Well, Ross was mugged as a kid. Phoebe Buffay : You were? Ross Geller : Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. I was outside St. Marc's Comics... you know, I-I-I was just there minding my own business, you know, seeing what kinda trouble spiderman got into that week- Monica Geller : Wonderwoman! Ross Geller : Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery, you know, to pick up a couple of dozen Linzer torts for someone... ... when outta nowhere this thug with a pipe jumps out and says: "Gimme your money, punk!" Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god. Ross Geller : I know! And-and the worst part was they took my backpack which had all the original artwork I had done for my own comic book: "Science Boy" Monica Geller : Oh yeah! What was his superpower again? Ross Geller : A superhuman thirst for knowledge. Monica Geller : That's it. Ross Geller : Well, I-I better get to class Are there any more of your friends I should look out for on my way, Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : No... actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane street... that's where stabby Joe works. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I think we have a problem here. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Well, uhm, back in my mugging days, you know, I, uhm, I worked St. Marc's Comics. Monica Geller : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice and, uhm, pre-teen comic book nerds were my meat. Monica Geller : So? Phoebe Buffay : Well, there was this one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said- Monica Geller : "Geology rocks!" Monica Geller : Oh my god! Phoebe Buffay : I know... I mugged Ross! Receptionist : You're late! Joey Tribbiani : I know, I'm sorry, but can I just have a quick second to run to the bathroom? Receptionist : No, Lennart doesn't wait! Joey Tribbiani : But I'm bursting with u-hu! Lennart : Joey! Here we go. Let's go very quickly! Joey Tribbiani : Actually, I really need. Lennart : We must go now, quickly, please. Joey Tribbiani : Yes... ahahaaa. Lennart : Ready? "What the hell are you still doing here?" Joey Tribbiani : "I think you know!" Lennart : "Oh, you sick bastard!" Joey Tribbiani : "I am what you made me! You know what?" Lennart : "What?" Joey Tribbiani : "I could go right now." Lennart : "Then go, go!" Joey Tribbiani : "I, oh, I can't. I want to, but I can't!" Lennart : Cut! That was good. That was very good. You did everything I asked for. Joey Tribbiani : I did? Lennart : Yes. Plus... what you've got that... I don't know what you've got going... this squirmy quality that you bring into the character that I couldn't've even imagined. Wow, hey, here's what we gonna do: come back tomorrow for the final callbacks with the ***, do all of this what you've got going now, but you know what? more, more. Can you do that? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, yeah. I don't have time to say thank you because I really gotta go. Lennart : Look at that: still in character, I like it... I plant seeds I can't explain. Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Putting on the sneakers... thought I'd get into a younger mindset, you know, to see if it sparked anything. Rachel Green : Oh, anything yet? Chandler Bing : Yes, how's this: They're so uncomfortable it's like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Probably wanna know what I'm doing...? Monica Geller : No, that seems about right. Joey Tribbiani : Yesterday at my audition, I really had to pee, and apparently, having to pee makes me a really good actor. I got a call-back, so I'm drinking everything. Oh, by the way, that egg nog in our fridge was great! Rachel Green : Joey, that was formula. Joey Tribbiani : We gotta get more of that. Chandler Bing : You know what... these aren't half-bad! You should suggest something like these to Ralph Lauren. Rachel Green : Okay, first of all, that's stupid and second of all, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph. Chandler Bing : Alright I feel youger already! Chandler Bing : Yah, I think I broke my hip. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, how was class? Ross Geller : No one ever asked me that, what's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, I really wanna know. Ross Geller : Oh... Well, uhm, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, nothing is worth this. Uhm, I have a confession to make... uhm, okay, you know, that girl that mugged you when you were a kid. Ross Geller : Wh-What are you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude. Phoebe Buffay : You don't have to lie anymore, Ross, I know that it was a fourteen year-old girl. Ross Geller : No, it wasn't. Phoebe Buffay : Yes, it was. Ross Geller : No, it wasn't. You don't think I would've defended myself against a fourteen year-old. Phoebe Buffay : "Gimme your money, punk!" Ross Geller : Oh my god, it was you! I can't believe it, you... you mugged me? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and I'm so, so sorry, Ross, I'm sorry, but, you know, if you think about it, it's kinda neat. I mean, well, it's just that I I've always felt kinda like an outsider, you know, the rest of you have these connections that go way back and, you know, now, you and I have... have a great one! Ross Geller : It's not the best! Phoebe Buffay : I know, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I don't know what to say. Ross Geller : There's nothing you can say. That was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me. Phoebe Buffay : Really? Even more humiliating than. Ross Geller : Hey, let's not do this! Intern : ... and then, at the end of the commercial, the girls get out of the hut tub and start making out with each other! Boss : That's interesting! Just one thought: You didn't mention the shoes. Who's next? Chander. Chandler Bing : Okay... You start on the image of a guy putting on the shoes. He's about my age. Intern : Your age? Chandler Bing : A-huh. So he's rolling down the street and he starts to lose control, you know... maybe he falls... maybe hurts himself. Just then, a kid comes flying by wearing the shoes. He jumps over the old guy and laughs, and the line reads: "Not suitable for adults!" Boss : Chandler, that's great! Chandler Bing : Oh, thank you, sir... or man-who's-two-years-younger-than-me. Boss : You see? That has a clear selling point. It appeals to our key demographic, it's.... You did you come up with that? Chandler Bing : I don't know, I don' I don' know! I was just trying to get into a young mindset, you know, and it just started to flow. Boss : That is great. Good work! Chandler. Thank you. Boss : See all of you tomorrow. Chandler Bing : The cold weather hurts my hip! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, Ross! I know you're still mad at me, but can I just talk to you for a second? Ross Geller : Sure, go ahead. Whoops, sorry, sure, go ahead. Phoebe Buffay : I just really wanted to apologize again and... and also show you something I think you'll find very exciting. Ross Geller : Oh my god, crap from the street? Phoebe Buffay : Look, Ross, in this box are all the things I got from mugging that I thought were too special to sell... or smoke. Anyway, I was looking through it and I found "Science Boy" Ross Geller : Oh my god. I never thought I'd see this again. It's all here. What made you save it all these years? Phoebe Buffay : I can't say, I just thought it was really good... and... maybe would be worth something some day. Ross Geller : You really thought "Science Boy" was worth saving! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... but you should know, I also have a jar of vaseline and a cat skull in here. Ross Geller : Still... this is amazing... Oh my god, thank you, Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome. And thank you for "Science Boy". I learned a lot from him. Ross Geller : You're welcome. Joey Tribbiani : "I need an answer!" Lennart : "I-I-I can't tell you somethin' I don't know." Joey Tribbiani : "You know!" Lennart : "I don't know!" Joey Tribbiani : "I need an answer now!" Lennart : "Alright, here, you want an answer... the answer... is..." Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Lennart : "She never loved me, she only loved you." Joey Tribbiani : "You knew this all along and you never told me? You never told me? I can never forgive you, I can never forgive myself, I have nothing to live for Bang End Scene!" Lennart : Absolutely amazing! The part is yours. Joey Tribbiani : Oh thanks, thanks! Now, I really have to get. Lennart : Wa-wa-wa-wait! Congratulations! You did it! You did it! You can relax now. Yeah. Monica Geller : Wow, that's a big cable bill! Huh, you don't have a job, but you have no problem ordering porn... on a Saturday afternoon?! I was in the house! Ross Geller : Hey, uhm, Phoebe didn't by any chance mention that. Monica Geller : ... that she was the huge guy that mugged you? Yah. Ross Geller : I see. You didn't happen to tell. Monica Geller : ... everybody we know? Yeah. Ross Geller : Great. Thanks! Chandler Bing : Did you see our bank statement? Can this be right? Monica Geller : I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money? Chandler Bing : I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron. Monica Geller : I guess with you doing the internship, we're just spending more than we're bringing in. Chandler Bing : Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays. Monica Geller : Oh, But you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you love was y'know... finding gold. Chandler Bing : You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer? Monica Geller : Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents. Chandler Bing : No! We're not borrowing money. Monica Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money. Monica Geller : Wow! I Had no idea you had this much pride. Chandler Bing : That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard. Mike Hannigan : I'm gonna go. Phoebe Buffay : Why?? Mike Hannigan : I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes. Phoebe Buffay : Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you. Mike Hannigan : I put that tube top on as a joke. Phoebe Buffay : I want you to stay. Mike Hannigan : I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can.. Phoebe Buffay : Why don't you turn them inside ou... Mike Hannigan : Done it. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Phoebe Buffay : I'll miss you. Mike Hannigan : Me too. You know what? I just realised something. I don't wanna go home. Phoebe Buffay : Great! Ok...I'll go get the tube top. Mike Hannigan : No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together? Phoebe Buffay : Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!" Mike Hannigan : So we're doing it? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! Oh god, we're really going to move in together! Mike Hannigan : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun! Monica Geller : Hey Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler. Joey Tribbiani : I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good......But wrong. Monica Geller : Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money. Joey Tribbiani : Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake. Monica Geller : But Chandler lent you money! Joey Tribbiani : And I think he would tell you it was a mistake. Monica Geller : Come on...I just need it for some rent and..and some other bills. Joey Tribbiani : Oh...how much? Monica Geller : Two thousand dollars? Joey Tribbiani : Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!? Monica Geller : Yeah... Joey Tribbiani : That's right I am! Rachel Green : Hi you guys! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Oo...what's in the bag? Rachel Green : Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh! Monica Geller : Anyway erm, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff? Rachel Green : No. I was just going to do this myself. Joey Tribbiani : You're gonna do it? Rachel Green : Yeah, Why? You don't think a woman can do this? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, women can. You can't. Rachel Green : Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig? Monica Geller : You're a pig. And you can't do this. Rachel Green : Wha!? What!? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself! Joey Tribbiani : The hardware store is right down the street. Rachel Green : There is a hardware store right down the street? Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Ok, we've got great news. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe and I are moving in together. Chandler Bing : Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great! Phoebe Buffay : I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before. Monica Geller : Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" Chandler Bing : Yeah.... she's not so cute. Mike Hannigan : I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well you put down the toilet seat. Mike Hannigan : Yes dear. Monica Geller : Is that a bit you guys do? Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh...we're playing you two. Monica Geller : We don't do that! Tell her we don't do that! Chandler Bing : Yes dear. Ross Geller : I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys.. Monica Geller : I hear wedding bells. Phoebe Buffay : Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do. Ross Geller : Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional. Phoebe Buffay : I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom! Mike Hannigan : You ready to go? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! You bet roomy! Monica Geller : Don't you mean..groomy? Mike Hannigan : What are you talking about? Phoebe Buffay : Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. Phoebe Buffay : China patterns!!!!! Rachel Green : This is easy...Can't do this! Oh! Wow! Seriously I can't do this. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it. Joey Tribbiani : I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica. Chandler Bing : And that would have made the official party line. Monica and I are having a little financial trouble. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know. Chandler Bing : What? What do you mean you know? Joey Tribbiani : Err... I just figured it out! You know, I mean you're not working and the economy is bad. Chandler Bing : Oh! Right. Joey Tribbiani : That's the fastest I have ever thought! Chandler Bing : Anyway, err... I need to borrow some money. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars? Chandler Bing : Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! Joey Tribbiani : Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. Chandler Bing : Oh ok. Joey Tribbiani : I am on fire! Chandler : Listen...this is really nice. Do you... Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you? Joey Tribbiani : Err... Kind of. Chandler Bing : I can't believe her! Did she tell you we were having money problems? Joey Tribbiani : Oh no no no no no... It wasn't... It wasn't because of your money problems, it was for something for her. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Something personal. Chandler Bing : What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about? Woman : Excuse me. Joey Tribbiani : Boob job. Monica Geller : I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy! Joey Tribbiani : Well it's...It's not that crazy okay? Making them smaller, that would be crazy. Mike Hannigan : Well hey, I wanna ask you about Monica's little "groomy" joke. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy. Mike Hannigan : I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right? Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! No no! Not at all. We're just moving in right now. See where it goes. Mike Hannigan : Yeah well, that's the thing. For me it's as far as it can ever go. Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean? Mike Hannigan : Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Wow. Mike Hannigan : It's just my first marriage was, you know such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea. Phoebe Buffay : Was it really that bad? Mike Hannigan : At one point near the end she deliberately defecated..... Phoebe Buffay : Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean. Mike Hannigan : Look it's not about who I would marry. And I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. And I was totally wrong! Phoebe Buffay : But it's just... Mike Hannigan : Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Mike Hannigan : I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea. Phoebe Buffay : No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister! Mike Hannigan : Trust me, I will never... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I get that. Rachel Green : Hi! Monica Geller : So you gave in and decided to call someone? Rachel Green : Yeah, I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks. Handyman : You're all set. Rachel Green : Oh thank you so much. Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game. Handyman : Thanks..... Chandler Bing : Hey Rach! There she is...My perfectly proportioned wife. Rachel Green : Don't look at me I never get his jokes. Monica Geller : Thank you? Chandler Bing : Oh no..don't thank me. Thank you. You know there's not one thing I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not... two... single things. Monica Geller : Ok, you're being wierd. Do you want sex or did you do something bad? Chandler Bing : No no! I just love the way you look, I am warm, for your form. Monica Geller : Ok..You know the old classics you know,You look nice? They're still ok. Chandler Bing : Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger. Monica Geller : Okay... Chandler Bing : I mean, You wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that. Rachel Green : Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any wierder. Monica Geller : I know why do you think he was so worried about me getting bigger? Rachel Green : I don't know! I mean, what brought that on? Monica Geller : Oh my god. We're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is going to change. Rachel Green : No you really think that's what it is? Monica Geller : You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler. Rachel Green : Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. God! It's just such a magical time! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage. Ross Geller : Oh great now you're seeking me out to make jokes? I mean I can see for all hanging out but to come to my home! Phoebe Buffay : No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it. Ross Geller : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Mike doesn't ever wanna get married. Ross Geller : Never? Phoebe Buffay : Never. Ross Geller : wow, are you still going to move in with him? Phoebe Buffay : I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks! Ross Geller : Yeah, marriage... stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married. Phoebe Buffay : That's not how you really feel is it? Ross Geller : No, I'm sorry. Look I don't think that's what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I love marriage. Phoebe Buffay : Seriously? You divorce-o? Ross Geller : If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry. Phoebe Buffay : It's ok that's how you feel. Ross Geller : But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike. Phoebe Buffay : I do love Mike. Ross Geller : Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks. Ross Geller : The Divorcer, to the rescue! Phoebe Buffay : It's not cooler. Ross Geller : Yeah I just hurt it. Joey Tribbiani : Rach?! Rachel!!!!? So I can't do anything I like???? Chandler Bing : Hey Rach! Ah........ Perfection. Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing. Monica Geller : Honey? Chandler Bing : Yeah? Monica Geller : About that? Erm...I'm going to change. Chandler Bing : But honey you don't have to. Monica Geller : I'm going to get bigger! Chandler Bing : Honey I... I love your breasts the way they are! Rachel Green : Argh. fascist. Monica Geller : Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too. Chandler Bing : your ass?!?!? Rachel Green : Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too! Chandler Bing : They...do that? Monica Geller : It's kind of a package deal! Chandler Bing : God why why would you want to do that to yourself!? Monica Geller : I thought I was something that we both wanted! Chandler Bing : Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet? Rachel Green : Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!? Chandler Bing : What? Rachel Green : Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job? Joey Tribbiani : Because she is! Monica Geller : Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money. Joey Tribbiani : Mmmm hmm! For your boob job! Chandler Bing : It's over/Joe! Joey Tribbiani : OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger? Ross Geller : Hey! What do you guys think about this. "Ross: The Divorce-Force". Phoebe Buffay : Better. Mike Hannigan : Very cool. Ross Geller : Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah, no, thanks you. Ross Geller : Good, good. Yeah coz the more I thought about it, the more I realised I don't think marriage is neccessarily the right path for you. Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean? Ross Geller : Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo? Phoebe Buffay : They are awfully boxy... Ross Geller : I don't know you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so... normal. Phoebe Buffay : Uh huh. Ross Geller : Hey hey, can I help? Chandler Bing : Well! We er..climbed up four flights of stairs, manueveored a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pitbul... but these last three feet are where it gets really tricky. Ross Geller : You know sometimes your words... they hurt. Joey Tribbiani : Hey uh, where do you guys want this? Rachel Green : Yeah, seriously coz this is really heavy. I mean not for me because i'm only pretending to hold this, but for these guys. Phoebe Buffay : Just one last time erm... the marriage thing... there's no wiggle room? None at all? Mike Hannigan : No but... You don't want to get married either right? Phoebe Buffay : Right. Except that I do want to get married. Joey Tribbiani : Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh? Mike Hannigan : You wanna get married? Phoebe Buffay : Someday. Chandler Bing : Aaaaand....... hernia. Phoebe Buffay : I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff. Mike Hannigan : But if you wanna get married why didn't you say something before? Phoebe Buffay : Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you. Mike Hannigan : I want to live with you too! Let's do that! Phoebe Buffay : But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen. Mike Hannigan : Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage. Phoebe Buffay : Are you gonna change yours? Mike Hannigan : No. Phoebe Buffay : Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want. Mike Hannigan : But I don't want this to end. Phoebe Buffay : I don't want it to end either. Mike Hannigan : I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff packed up. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Mike Hannigan : Ok... so... Goodbye. Chandler Bing : Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now! Rachel Green : I'm so sorry Pheebs. Monica Geller : We're all sorry... Chandler Bing : Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. Joey Tribbiani : AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ready to go? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, let me just finish this. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, check this out! yeah, I can't do that! Chandler Bing : What are you doin'? Ross Geller : Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to. Chandler Bing : Great, a faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless . Ross Geller : It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich? Chandler Bing : The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you? Ross Geller : Uh uh... well, her Internet Company went under and she lost an ear in a boating accident... Chandler Bing : Bet she'd sleep with you now... Ross Geller : No... I already e-mailed her. Chandler Bing : Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest! Ross Geller : You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? Chandler Bing : Maybe we finish this for him! "Also I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She's now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says. It's the best sex I've ever had"... aaand SEND! Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no... what do... you can't do that to him! Ross Geller : Alright, let's go! Joey Tribbiani : Dude! Ross Geller : I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house! Joey Tribbiani : aaand SEND! Opening credits. Rachel Green : Hey! How was basketball? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye! Rachel Green : Oh, no! Who did that? Joey Tribbiani : Chandler... hey... Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? Rachel Green : She was just crawling around and she found him, so I just let her sleep with him. That's all right? Isn't it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah... of course... yeah... it's a stuffed animal... you know... it's for kids... not for adults... I know that! Rachel Green : Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him! Joey Tribbiani : Rachel... let's be clear on this, ok? I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount... Rachel Green : All right... Oh, Emma loves him! Joey Tribbiani : Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better? Phoebe Buffay : Breaking up sucks! Oh, I really miss Mike! Chandler Bing : Oh, I'm so sorry! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this... Chandler Bing : You're not gonna need my help? Phoebe Buffay : Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you. Chandler Bing : Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that. Monica Geller : Ok, you got it! Phoebe Buffay : Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said. Monica Geller : Really? If that's what you want... Phoebe Buffay : That was a test and you just failed. Monica Geller : Damn it! Rookie mistake! Ross Geller : I have sex with dinosaurs?? Chandler Bing : I believe I read that somewhere! Ross Geller : That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... It's not funny!! Chandler Bing : I respectfully disagree. Ross Geller : I can't believe you put that on my alumni page! Chandler Bing : Who cares? Nobody reads those things. Ross Geller : You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today. Chandler Bing : I don't have a page. Ross Geller : Oh oh oh! I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!! Joey Tribbiani : Look at you, all sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel... with Emma's chubby little hands wrapped around ya. It's okay, Emma, you stay asleep. Rachel Green : : Step away from the crib, I have a weapon! Joey Tribbiani : It's okay, it's okay Rach, it's me. Put down the scrunchy. Rachel Green : What are you doing? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came to make sure she could reach Hugsy. Rachel Green : Oh, oh thanks. Alright well, now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom. Joey Tribbiani : There you go sweetie... This isn't over. Monica Geller : Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... "gay as the day is long"? Chandler Bing : Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs. Monica Geller : But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. Chandler Bing : Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day. Monica Geller : Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge. Chandler Bing : Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go . Monica Geller : What are you doing? Chandler Bing : Oh, you'll see my friend. Ross Geller : I'm dead? Chandler Bing : And so young. Ross Geller : Posting that I died? That really isn't funny. Chandler Bing : Well, how you died was funny. Ross Geller : Oh please, hit by a blimp? Chandler Bing : It kills over one americans every year. Ross Geller : Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dead, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here. Chandler Bing : You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West! Ross Geller : You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic. Phoebe Buffay : God, I wish Mike were here. Monica Geller : Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing? Monica Geller : What are you, animals? It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon! Phoebe Buffay : I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that. Monica Geller : Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. Give me your phone. Phoebe Buffay : Here. Monica Geller : And now your cell. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : This is your cellphone? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Monica Geller : This is your current cellphone? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, it reminds me of a simpler time. Monica Geller : Phoebe, where's your purse? Monica Geller : No, no! Give it to me! Phoebe Buffay : You can't have it. Monica Geller : Give it to me! Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : I'll go in there. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah. Monica Geller : Phoebe come here. Monica Geller : Haha! Phoebe Buffay : Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, look who's here! It's Joey, and he brought home a friend. Rachel Green : Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, it's not a girl, it's... a brand new Hugsy! Rachel Green : Oh that's so great, now Emma has two Hugsy's. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back. Rachel Green : Oh you know what? When I was a little girl I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh I loved her so much, I took her everywhere, I would braid her tail... Joey Tribbiani : Make the transfer! Rachel Green : Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago. Rachel Green : Oh, I don't think she likes the new Hugsy. Joey Tribbiani : But he's the same. Rachel Green : Yeah, I think she wants the old one back. Joey Tribbiani : But he's the same. Rachel Green : Joey, come on! Joey Tribbiani : He's the same! . Joey Tribbiani : You're not the same! Monica Geller : Haha! Phoebe Buffay : You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building. Monica Geller : So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door. Phoebe Buffay : Those are my shoes. Monica Geller : Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now. Monica Geller : Who's that? Phoebe Buffay : I ordered Chinese food. Phoebe Buffay : What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!? Monica Geller : What are you doing here? Mike Hannigan : Phoebe called me. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him. Monica Geller : Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him? Phoebe Buffay : There is a speakerphone on the base unit... Monica Geller : Base Unit! Think Monica! Think! Mike Hannigan : Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see... Monica Geller : This doesn't concern you!! Mike Hannigan : Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name! Monica Geller : Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder. Phoebe Buffay : Not if nothing happens. Why can't... why can't we just hang out as friends? Monica Geller : Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend and Mike's friend . Phoebe Buffay : Sit down. Monica Geller : Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend! Mike Hannigan : So how've you been? Monica Geller : I've been pretty good! Mike Hannigan : You look really beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks, you look good too. Monica Geller : Oh no no no no... this is dangerous territory. Keep it clean! Phoebe Buffay : So how's the piano playing going? Mike Hannigan : Actually I've been playing a lot of love songs lately. I've missed you. Phoebe Buffay : I've missed you too. Monica Geller : You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it! Chandler Bing : Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... ..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me? Ross Geller : uhu uhu, check this out. Chandler Bing : Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya? Ross Geller : Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!? Chandler Bing : No, come on, you know that's not true. Ross Geller : What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead! Chandler Bing : Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community. Ross Geller : I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy! Chandler Bing : Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief. Ross Geller : You're right. There isn't a decent outlet. Chandler Bing : Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come. Ross Geller : Exactly!! Chandler Bing : Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? You're having a memorial service for yourself!? Ross Geller : No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me! Chandler Bing : Ross, don't press send, don't press se... ! Ross Geller : oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man... Rachel Green : I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy? Joey Tribbiani : Original or crappy? Rachel Green : Original. Joey Tribbiani : No, sorry haven't seen him. Rachel Green : Then what's that big lump under your covers? Joey Tribbiani : It's Monica, ok? Rachel Green : That's not Monica! Joey Tribbiani : Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him.. Rachel Green : Oh God. Joey Tribbiani : ... she's being unreasonable! Rachel Green : Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much Oh don't cover its ears! It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey! Joey Tribbiani : It does? Rachel Green : Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much. Joey Tribbiani : Really? She... she loves me? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever . Joey Tribbiani : Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him. Rachel Green : Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. Look Emma, look who's baaack! Joey Tribbiani : Look forget it forget it... I can't do it. Rachel Green : Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child? Joey Tribbiani : How do you think I got him in the first place? Monica Geller : Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it. Mike Hannigan : I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night. Phoebe Buffay : I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard? Mike Hannigan : It can't be any harder than this... I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped. Monica Geller : Kiss him, you fool!! Phoebe Buffay : What? Monica Geller : Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I missed you so much! Strange Man : I knew you'd be here! Mike Hannigan : Oh, crap! Phoebe Buffay : Who is this? Mike Hannigan : My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you. Monica Geller : Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe! Manny : Well, you are not doing a very good job! Monica Geller : Excuse me? Manny : What's with the kissing? Monica Geller : Hey, at least I knew where my guy was. Manny : Oh yeah yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing! Monica Geller : You didn't hear the speech! Manny : I've heard the speech: "if he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her... " Monica Geller : Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless! Manny : You're weak! Monica Geller : You're... weird! Manny : Your pants are undone! Monica Geller : Oh ! Manny : Where did they go? Monica Geller : Damn it! Manny : Oh we blew it. I blame myself. Monica Geller : And I blame you too. Ross Geller : It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted! Chandler Bing : There you go! Someone came! Ross Geller : Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! Monica Geller : Hi, glad you could come. Chandler Bing : Please, come in. Tom : Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class. Chandler Bing : Oh yes, yes... let me... take your coat. Tom : Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's... Chandler Bing : At least he died doing what he loved... watching blimps. Ross Geller : Who is he? Chandler Bing : Some guy, Tom Gordon. Ross Geller : I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. Monica Geller : So, did you know Ross well? Tom : Oh, actually I barely knew him. Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news. D'you know if he's seeing anyone? Monica Geller : Yes, he is. Me. Tom : What? You... You... Oh! Can I ask you a personal question? Ho-how do you shave your beard so close? Chandler Bing : Ok Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go, bye bye!! Tom : Hey, listen. Call me. Chandler Bing : Ok! Ross Geller : I'm dead and no one cares? Monica Geller : I look like a man?? Chandler Bing : Please, one ridiculous problem at a time! Ross Geller : It isn't ridiculous, look around! No one's here! Chandler Bing : You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand! Ross Geller : Yes, you're right. Still somebody must have seen it... I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone? Chandler Bing : Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something? Ross Geller : Yeah... Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler! Chandler Bing : I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. Kori : Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service. Chandler Bing : Kori? Kori Weston? Kori : Yeah... Chandler Bing : Wow! You look amazing! Kori : And you are... Chandler Bing : Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all. Monica Geller : You are married though. Chandler Bing : Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! Kori : I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad. Chandler Bing : I didn't know Ross and you were so close. Kori : We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him. Chandler Bing : I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently. Kori : I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance. Ross Geller : But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people! Kori : You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! Ross Geller : Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!! Ross Geller : No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. Monica? Joey Tribbiani : Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche? Monica Geller : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : Alright! Monica Geller : But ehm...what is it not? Joey Tribbiani : A place to entertain my lady friends. Monica Geller : And what else is it not? Joey Tribbiani : A place to eat spaghetti. Monica Geller : Very good! What do you need it for anyway? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so... Rachel Green : Oh! So you're driving up to Connecticut? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia. Monica Geller : Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself! Joey Tribbiani : Uh! Monica Geller : Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars. Chandler Bing : Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you! Phoebe Buffay : Hey will you get me tickets too? Rachel Green : Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it! Everyone almost simultaneously except Ross: yeah thats a great idea! Ross Geller : No thanks! Phoebe Buffay : You don't wanna win the lottery? Ross Geller : Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart. Chandler Bing : Still on Amelia Earhart? Ross Geller : The woman just vanished! Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this? Ross Geller : No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times. Chandler Bing : Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times. Joey Tribbiani : I like those odds! Ross Geller : Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki. Chandler Bing : I'll ask. Boohaki? Ross Geller : Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her. Rachel Green : Yeah so get ready to hear alot of ehm...boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker. Monica Geller : How do you know she's gonna start talking? Rachel Green : Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying. Chandler Bing : Kinda like Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What's that now? Opening credits. Monica Geller : God! Look at all these tickets! It's so exciting! You know I haven't won anything since the sixth grade. Chandler Bing : Pie eating contest? Monica Geller : Oh! You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something? Chandler Bing : No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries. Monica Geller : That was a good day! Ross Geller : They're towing your car, they're towing your car!! Monica Geller : I'm parked in a garage on Morton! Ross Geller : They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! Where's Emma? Who has Emma!? Rachel Green : Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there! Joey Tribbiani : I was? Racel : Yes and you talked to her... Joey Tribbiani : I did? Rachel Green : She dropped off a casserole? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah! The casserole lady. Monica Geller : So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks? Ross Geller : Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it! Chandler Bing : Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! Ross Geller : Think he washed his hands? Chandler Bing : Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know? Rachel Green : What's going on? Monica Geller : Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Tough odds! Ross Geller : Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery! Joey Tribbiani : Look who's coming around! Chandler Bing : Damnit. Alright call me when you know more. Joey Tribbiani : Did you get it? Chandler Bing : One of the slots got filled. Joey Tribbiani : By you!? Chandler Bing : Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it. Monica Geller : Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants! Chandler Bing : Yeah I know. Rachel Green : Well, there's two spots left right? Chandler Bing : Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie. Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight! Monica Geller : Hey that reminds me, I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work. Ross Geller : A psychic AND a wishbone? Guys! Give someone else a chance! Monica Geller : Alright, who wants to do it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses! Monica Geller : Ok, hey Rach? Rachel Green : Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands. Joey Tribbiani : I'll do it!! It'll get the casserole stink off of mine. Phoebe Buffay : I hope I win! Monica Geller : Well, it doesn't really matter ... you're both wishing for the same thing, right? Joey Tribbiani : I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true! Monica Geller : Right! .. but we "know" what you're wishing for! Joey Tribbiani : Can't really say! Monica Geller : I understand, but you're wishing for what we think you're wishing for, aren't you? Joey Tribbiani : I'm not really comfortable with these questions! Chandler Bing : Please, just do it! Phoebe Buffay : One, two, three! Joey Tribbiani : I won, hey! Ross Geller : You know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys - just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! Ah!! That thing gets hot!! Rachel Green : You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win? Ross Geller : Uh, you're not gonna win. Rachel Green : Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai" Ross Geller : Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that. Chandler Bing : I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm". Ross Geller : Why would I eat my own arm? Chandler Bing : Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want. Monica Geller : You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you. Ross Geller : Why? Monica Geller : Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this. Ross Geller : You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here. Phoebe Buffay : Get a room! Chandler Bing : Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win? Ross Geller : I don't know, probably just invest it. Chandler Bing : Ooh! Calm down ... Joey Tribbiani : Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks! Rachel Green : I don't really care about the Knicks. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward. Rachel Green : You would do that? I never get picked! Chandler Bing : You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go. Joey Tribbiani : You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks?? I can't believe you're taking this away from me! Chandler Bing : You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds. Ross Geller : Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy? Chandler Bing : I'll take this one too Uh ... Mommy? Ross Geller : Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not ... Rachel Green : I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word. Ross Geller : Although if we're gonna do that, we should probably call me "Daddy" too. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, I like that, "daddy" Ross Geller : I ... I was just talking about Rachel. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, is daddy getting angry? Is daddy gonna spank me? Ross Geller : Well that depends ... have you been a baaad gi .. no I can't. Chandler Bing : Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right? Chandler Bing : Well no, Charlie's gonna get that. Monica Geller : Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job! Chandler Bing : He's the boss's son. Monica Geller : Come on, lottery!! Rachel Green : Ooh, you guys, it starts in like 20 minutes. Monica Geller : Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first. Rachel Green : Ooh, I have another idea! Monica Geller : I'm sorry, idea time is over. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, well, are all the tickets in the bowl? Monica Geller : Yeah. Chandler Bing : What about the ones you have on the nightstand? Monica Geller : There are no tickets on the nightstand! Chandler Bing : Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago. Monica Geller : Un, no you didn't! You must be mistaken! Chandler Bing : Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand! Monica Geller : Chandler, sense the tone!! Rachel Green : Well, well, well, look what mommy found!! Monica Geller : Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Uh! The psychic also said that I would be betrayed. Ross Geller : I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together! Monica Geller : Hey, you just got in 5 minutes ago! Ross Geller : 3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ... Joey Tribbiani : I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those? Monica Geller : When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic! Joey Tribbiani : I'll show you how. Rachel Green : Ok, well Monica, suppose one of your "special" tickets win? How are you gonna feel when you win the lottery and you lose all your friends? Monica Geller : Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days! Rachel Green : Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong? Chandler Bing : She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ... Monica Geller : Ahhh! Chandler Bing : Let me finish ... however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! Monica Geller : There's the man I married!! Rachel Green : All right, believe me.If you win the lottery, it's the last you're gonna hear from us! Monica Geller : Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you! Rachel Green : OH! Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets ! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I want my tickets too ! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah! Ross Geller : Than I want mine, too ! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together. Monica Geller : No, no! We should divide them up and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea! Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery! Rachel Green : Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : OOOOOHHHHH! Ross Geller : Hey, hey!! Phoebe Buffay : OOOOOHHHHH! Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! Rachel Green : Oh, if she jumps, I get her tickets. Joey Tribbiani : No, no! Phoebe Buffay : If we are not doing it together, we're not doing it at all! So, say goodbye to your tickets! . #ALL# : NO!! Phoebe Buffay : Don't come any closer! Chandler Bing : Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished... Phoebe Buffay : No, what's more important, your friends or money? Chandler Bing : Friends! Monica Geller : Money! Friends... Phoebe Buffay : Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets? Monica Geller : They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra ... Ross Geller : Monica! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, good! You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this... Oh God, no! I think I broke your bowl. Ross Geller : Go, go, go!! Phoebe Buffay : What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun. Monica Geller : Phoebe, we lost half of them. Phoebe Buffay : So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember? Ross Geller : Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon... Phoebe Buffay : As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. So, excuse me for being a little skittish. Chandler Bing : Hey, there's two messages. These could be from work! Monica Geller : Oh, play them! Chandler Bing : Ok, here we go! Message : "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo." Phoebe Buffay : Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do. Second Message : "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie" Chandler Bing : This is..shhh! Second Message : "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want." Monica Geller : Oh God, I am so sorry honey... #ALL# : Oh, so sorry man! Sorry! Rachel Green : Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work. Chandler Bing : Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren? Rachel Green : No, she was just much better at job than me! Phoebe Buffay : Guys, the drawing is about to start! Rachel Green : You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down. Ross Geller : Oh yeah, it's a good idea! Monica Geller : Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job. Chandler Bing : Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right? Monica Geller : 131! Ross Geller : Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... Rachel Green : Hi mum, put her back on! Joey Tribbiani : Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing. TV: "Here we are, the official Powerball numbers! We have 53" Chandler Bing : I got that! Ross Geller : Oh, we have one too!! Monica Geller : We are on a roll, people!! Ross Geller : Come on!! Rachel Green : Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter? TV: "And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7" Monica Geller : Check your numbers! Make me rich! Rachel Green : Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!! #ALL# : Wow! Joey Tribbiani : And what did she say? Rachel Green : She said "gleba"!! Monica Geller : Make me rich!! Rachel Green : Isn't that amazing? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, no no no...that's great! Rachel Green : Why-why aren't you more excited? Ross Geller : Oh, Rach...oh..."gleba" is not a word. Rachel Green : Oh, but of course it is! Ross Geller : Okay, what does it mean? Rachel Green : I don't know all the words. Ross Geller : I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words . Ross Geller : Yes you did, gleba is a word! Ross Geller : Ok, use it in a sentence. Rachel Green : Ok... "Emma just said gleba"! Ross Geller : It's not a word! Rachel Green : Okay, okay, okay, fine, I'm gonna look it up . Ross Geller : Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt.... Rachel Green : Alright, okay, okay, gleba, gleba... Gleba! Ha! Here it is: the fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi. Ross Geller : She's gonna be a scientist! Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! anybody got anything? Chandler Bing : No. Phoebe Buffay : I'm still looking through mine... Monica Geller : Just double checking ...no, no, no... No! Monica Geller : Hello? Hold on. It's your boss. Chandler Bing : Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. Hey, Steve. Steve : Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant. Chandler Bing : Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks! Steve : Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter. Chandler Bing : Me, that guy who just said butt cracks? Steve : Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job. Chandler Bing : Ok well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll see you tomorrow . Chandler Bing : What? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter. #ALL# : Oh my God, congratulations! Monica Geller : Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you! Chandler Bing : Does that mean I get the good loving tonight? Monica Geller : You bet! No TV or anything! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that is so great about the job. Chandler Bing : Thanks, man. Joey Tribbiani : And I like to think I had a little something to do with it. Chandler Bing : Really? What? Joey Tribbiani : Well, before, with the wishbone... I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out. Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah. Rachel Green : You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win. Ross Geller : Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park. Phoebe Buffay : You guys, what was the Powerball number again? Monica Geller : Seven. Phoebe Buffay : We won. Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : We won! Monica Geller : Let me see! Phoebe Buffay : Don't tear it. Ross Geller : Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers. Phoebe Buffay : I know that, but look, we've got the Powerball number, we've won 3 dollars! Chandler Bing : Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout. Phoebe Buffay : I don't care, I've never won anything before, I can't believe this! Rachel Green : So Pheebs, what are you going to do with your $3? Phoebe Buffay : It's not all mine. We all get 50 cents. Monica Geller : You know what? You can have mine. Chandler Bing : Me too. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Rachel Green : Me too. Ross Geller : I guess if everybody else is... Closing credits. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won. Phoebe Buffay : I beg to differ . Gunther : Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 . Phoebe Buffay : Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! Seriously, stop staring at her. Joey Tribbiani : God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do. Joey: I want you.I need you.Let me make love to you. Rachel Green : I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything, but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good! Rachel Green : Woow!I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, that was a disappointment... Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok? Rachel Green : Are you serious? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah!Hey, you just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again. Rachel Green : Hey, that was an honest mistake! Joey Tribbiani : Right!"Oh my God, is this the men's room? Oh, I feel so foolish, have you always known you wanted to be an actor?" Rachel Green : Yeah, that was an awesome day! Opening credits. Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hi! Monica Geller : So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Ross Geller : I'd love to! Monica Geller : Well you can't! We're booked solid for the next month! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again! Ross Geller : Phoebe, what happened? Phoebe Buffay : Well, it was an accident...You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips! Chandler: Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no!You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for 7 years! Chandler Bing : What? No, I'm taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont ! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, good!Ok, good for you!Try to recapture the magic! Chandler Bing : So, what do you say? Can you get out of work? Monica Geller : Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant! Chandler Bing : Are you really that busy? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm sorry. I really am. Chandler Bing : Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? Oh, can't you make an exception?" Monica Geller : Tell them I'm a chef in a big New York restaurant! Phoebe Buffay : And tell them that in 2 weeks I will once again be a masseuse in good standing! Chandler Bing : "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" "Oh, thank you very much!" Yeah, I'm going to Vermont... Ross Geller : Oh, don't worry about it! Just use your travel insurance. Chandler Bing : I don't have travel insurance. Ross Geller : Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge! Monica Geller : Why don't you take Ross? Ross Geller : Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn... Monica Geller : No, not if their room has two beds! Ross Geller : I guess...It still seems a little... moonlight boat ride!! Rachel Green : Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes! Rachel Green : Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous! Joey Tribbiani : Also so gay! Rachel Green : Oh, in my head he's done some pretty "not-gay-stuff"! Joey Tribbiani : Well, at the Christmas party him and Santa did some definitely gay stuff! Director : Joey, Joey! We're ready for you! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, wish me luck! Rachel Green : Ok, not that you need it but good...GOD!Is that Chase Lassiter?He's straight, right? Joey Tribbiani : Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this! Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sorry, you're right.I'm sorry, good luck! Director : On a bell please! Quietly.. and ACTION! Olivia: Drake! What are you doing in here? Dr. Drake Ramoray : Stopping you from marrying the wrong man and making the biggest mistake of your life. Olivia : Get out! Dr. Drake Ramoray : You don't love him! Olivia : What do you know about love? Dr. Drake Ramoray : I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge. Olivia : That kiss never happened. Dr. Drake Ramoray : Oh, what about this one. Rachel: OH! Olivia : No, I told you...get out! Dr. Drake Ramoray : Fine. I'll go. But let me ask you one question... Chase Lassiter : You look familiar, have we... Rachel Green : SSSHHHHTTT!!He's asking her a question!! Dr. Drake Ramoray : Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been? Olivia : I don't have a choice... Dr. Drake Ramoray : Yes, you do.Yes...you do. I'm the one who doesn't have a choice because I...because I can't stop loving you. Olivia : Don't say that... Dr. Drake Ramoray : Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. Director : CUT! Rachel Green : NO! Or, cut!You know, that's your call! 1st Customer : Everything was delicious! Monica Geller : Thank you! 2nd Customer: It was. The duck in particular was superb. Monica Geller : Thank you! You haven't said anything... 3rd Customer: Actually I do have one small complaint. Monica Geller : Oh..please!I-I welcome criticism. 3rd Customer: The musician right outside the restaurant...it's kind of a mood-killer! Monica Geller : What musician? Phoebe Buffay : And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Ole! Monica Geller : What are you doing here! Phoebe Buffay : Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain! Monica Geller : Great! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home". Monica Geller : Listen Phoebe... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : You know how much I love listening to your music, you know, but... Phoebe Buffay : But what? Monica Geller : This is kind of a classy place. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, say no more. Phoebe Buffay : : It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! Classy, uh? Chandler Bing : Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation. Receptionist : Welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing, so where are you joining from? Chandler Bing : New York. Ross Geller : The big apple! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here. Ross Geller : Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody. Receptionist : I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer. Chandler Bing : Well, that's impossible, can you check again, please? Ross Geller : Check again please! Receptionist : I'm sorry, it's not here. Ross Geller : Not there. Chandler Bing : Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation? Receptionist : I don't know what to say. Ross Geller : She doesn't know what to say! Chandler Bing : Just give us the cheapest room you have. Receptionist : Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars. Chandler Bing : That's insane! Ross Geller : Totally insane. Dude, let's drive home, we'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back and if...if they're closed maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves. Chandler Bing : Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? We'll take it. Receptionist : Great. Chandler Bing : What!? They are totally ripping us off! Ross Geller : Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six! Chandler Bing : Great, at a hundred dollars an apple, we're there! Ross Geller : C'mon, you get the idea, ow-ow-ow we'll make our money back in no time! Chandler Bing : Dude, you're shaking! Ross Geller : I think it's the sugar, could you hold the apple? Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me! Rachel Green : God, you have to tell me what happens tomorrow! Joey Tribbiani : Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me? Rachel Green : Me? Oh, no, I am not an actress. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, all right, I can ask Monica. Rachel Green : Oh screw her, that part is mine! Joey Tribbiani : Right... ok, so just from the top of the page, right here. Rachel Green : Okay. . Hello Drake, I'm surprised to see you here. Dr. Drake Ramoray : I can't believe you married him. Rachel Green : But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon! Dr. Drake Ramoray : So what about us? Everything we feel for each other. Rachel Green : It's over! You have to accept that. Dr. Drake Ramoray : How can I? Knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again, or touch your skin, or feel your lips, knowing I'll never make love to you? How can I accept that... I can never kiss you again when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now. Rachel Green : Kiss me. Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Kiss me. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, Rach, it doesn't say that! Rachel Green : No, I'm saying... Joey Tribbiani : but, but.. Rachel Green : just... don't talk... Rachel Green : Ehhh, aw! . Well, that's new! Ross Geller : Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons. Ross: What did you get? Chandler Bing : USA Today. Ross Geller : Nice, put it with the others. Chandler Bing : And I also got... two more apples. Ross Geller : We are four short of a bush-o . God I feel so alive, I love being in the country! Chandler Bing : I also got this great salt and pepper shaker from the restaurant. Ross Geller : Oh, that's not cool. Chandlers : Dude, none of this is cool. Ross Geller : No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt I wish I'd thought this through. Chandler Bing : I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs ...oh, you already got that. Ross Geller : Not my first time in a hotel, my friend. Chandler Bing : Ok, how about this ? Ross Geller : No, no, no, you can't take the remote control! Chandler Bing : Yes, but the batteries... Chandler: Thank you, thank you very much! Ross Geller : Let's celebrate with some maple candy! Chandler Bing : No! Ross Geller : At least tell me where you hid it. Rachel Green : Can I ask you a question? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Have you ever had any weird romantic dreams? Monica Geller : Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head. Rachel Green : Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey. Monica Geller : Wow, do you mean like kiss him-kiss him? Rachel Green : Oh yeah! I mean, that was pretty intense. Monica Geller : What do you think brought than on? Rachel Green : I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday. Monica Geller : A love scene? With who? Rachel Green : Olivia. Monica Geller : Olivia? I thought she was marrying Connor! Oh right, real life more important. Rachel Green : So do you think that my dream means anything? Monica Geller : I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake. Rachel Green : Ah! Well it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream... Monica Geller : Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college. Rachel Green : You took the same class twice. Monica Geller : It was hard! Phoebe: Hey! Monica Geller : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant uh, huh wait! Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man. Monica Geller : Oh...Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place. Phoebe Buffay : Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault. Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back . Rachel: Hey, so you guys, the funniest thing happened, at work... Phoebe Buffay : My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant? Rachel Green : Ok, we're still on that. Monica Geller : I didn't say your songs were not good enough. Phoebe Buffay : Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food? Monica Geller : Tiny portions? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, "excuse me, I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but I can't see it, I can't see it"! Monica Geller : Phoebe, it's not about quantity. Phoebe Buffay : Well...it's not about quality. Monica Geller : Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in. Phoebe Buffay : Well at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients Monica. Monica Geller : Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs. Phoebe Buffay : Ear plugs, or cloves of garlic? Monica Geller : You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy. Phoebe Buffay : What are people having, the garlic Martini? Receptionist : Here's your copy of the bill, we hope you enjoyed your stay. Chandler Bing : Oh we did, and you still have all your lamps. Chandler: Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax. Ross Geller : Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game. Ross: Oh my god. Chandler Bing : What? Ross Geller : There's something new in the bowl. Chandler Bing : Look, we have enough, just walk away. Ross Geller : No, but I want...I want the pinecones! Chandler Bing : There's a forest right outside. Ross Geller : It's not the same. Chandler Bing : Ok, go quick! Ross: Thank you for a delightful stay. Ross: Oh, my maple candy! Phoebe Buffay : Food here at 'Javu'..will kill you..the food here at 'Javu' ...will kill you.. Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall. Phoebe Buffay : You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself. Monica Geller : Ok, you have to stop playing now. Phoebe Buffay : Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you! Monica Geller : Oh yeah? Ok, let's settle this, come on! Phoebe Buffay : Get your garlic-peelers off me! Monica Geller : Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. .. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? Ha! Monica Geller : Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? . Phoebe Buffay : Ok, well, who identified the tone of this restaurant as pretentious comma garlicky? Monica Geller : Ok who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretention never hurt anyone? Phoebe Buffay : Ok, well, alright, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine, but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll taking? . Monica Geller : Excuse us! Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? Phoebe Buffay : Oh...Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! Monica Geller : I'm sorry... Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry too... Monica Geller : ooohh... hey! Wanna stick around and I'll whip you up some dinner? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! As long as it's free! Food here is ridiculously over-p... Phoebe: Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me? Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head? Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! I thought I got it all! Rachel Green : How...how...? Joey Tribbiani : I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right? Rachel Green : uh-huh. Joey Tribbiani : And I couldn't find this little plastic thing that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very! Rachel Green : Wow...definitely just Drake... Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : What...how is it going with Drake? Joey Tribbiani : Oh...I don't think it's going very well... Rachel Green : What...that scene I saw was so good! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow... Rachel Green : Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment? Joey Tribbiani : A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia. Rachel Green : So? Joey Tribbiani : So...I've never played that! Rachel Green : Ooh! Honey, it can't be that hard, I mean, you've been in love before? Joey Tribbiani : Uh...well...just once...with you... Rachel Green : Ok...this could be a little awkward...I'm just going to blow past it... well can't you just use that method actor thing where you use your real life memories to help you in your performance? Joey Tribbiani : What the hell are you talking about?? Rachel Green : Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me. Rachel Green : Joey, you never..you never talked about that before... Joey Tribbiani : Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you but it was worth it just to be there looking at you. Joey: Thanks dude!!!This is GREAT!! Closing credits. Chandler Bing : I got you something from Vermont! Monica Geller : Besides tampons and salt? Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. That's weird...it's empty! Ross: Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? do you...do you guys hear a buzzing? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night? Chandler Bing : Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV. Joey Tribbiani : Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play. Chandler Bing : I could fall asleep at a play. Phoebe Buffay : What is it? Joey Tribbiani : It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life". Monica Geller : It sounds interesting! Ross Geller : Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... Phoebe Buffay : I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want? Joey Tribbiani : You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise! Ross Geller : What? How come that you don't have to go! Joey Tribbiani : I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want. Chandler Bing : Uh, let's see, who do I hate? Rachel Green : Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, here you go. Rachel Green : Ooh... oooh... oh, ah... Can I ask you a question? Monica Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal? Monica Geller : No, I don't think it ever works. Why? Rachel Green : No reason. Monica Geller : No, no, Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah. Monica Geller : Who do you wanna fool around with? Rachel Green : Nobody, forget it! Rachel: Maybe. Monica Geller : You can't! Rachel Green : Why? Seriously I did not understand a word that you said. Monica Geller : In the hall. Monica Geller : You wanna fool around with Joey? Rachel Green : Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time! Monica Geller : Who? Who do you know that are friends that just fool around? Rachel Green : Ok, off the top of my head... Don and Janet. Monica Geller : Who, who are they? Rachel Green : I know them from work. Monica Geller : Both of them? Rachel Green : No, one of them... Monica Geller : Which one? Rachel Green : I don't know, what were the names I just said? Monica Geller : Rachel, things can get incredibly complicated. Rachel Green : All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? Monica Geller : What the hell are you cooking! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work today. Chandler Bing : Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs. Ross Geller : There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus. Monica Geller : What's so bad about that? Ross Geller : It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches. Monica Geller : : Ross? Ross Geller : These aren't suede. Charlie: Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller? Gunther : No. Ross Geller : Hi, hi, I'm Ross Geller. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, hi. I'm professor Wealer. Ross Geller : Oh, oh, that's, that's, that's nice. Charlie Wheeler : It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around. Ross Geller : Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out. Monica Geller : Is he gonna introduce us? Chandler Bing : No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now. Charlie Wheeler : And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis. Ross Geller : Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute. Monica Geller : Twenty bucks says they're married within the month. Ross Geller : We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us? Ross Geller : I don't think so. Charlie Wheeler : I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell? Ross Geller : Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". An option that many of my students use. Shall we? Charlie Wheeler : You don't think we should wait for him? Ross Geller : You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok? Professor Spafford : Professor Geller? Ross Geller : Oh, damn it! Jane : Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What's happenin'? Rachel Green : Yeah, it's a real shame you can't make it to that one-woman show tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... Message : "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight" Joey Tribbiani : Stupid Jane Rogers!! Rachel Green : You are having a party tonight?? Joey Tribbiani : Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people. Rachel Green : And you weren't going to tell us? How did you think you were gonna get away with that? Joey Tribbiani : I do it every year. Rachel Green : You do that every year?? Joey Tribbiani : I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!! Rachel Green : Oh, that's why you got these tickets to that play, to get rid of us?? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Rachel Green : And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Rachel Green : OH! And the year before that, when you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory? Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe you guys went for that one! Rachel Green : Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties? Joey Tribbiani : You're fine, ok? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people! Rachel Green : Well, then so you just invite me...! Joey Tribbiani : Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one! Rachel Green : Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please... Joey Tribbiani : Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8. Rachel Green : OH, a soap opera roof party!! I'm going to a soap opera roof party!! Oh my God, oh my God!! And it's out of my system! Professor Spafford : And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish. Ross Geller : So, where did you get your undergraduate degree? Professor Spafford : And that's not all I'm allergic to. Ross Geller : Oh, it's not over! Professor Spafford : I'm also allergic to peanuts, and cashews, and almonds, and filberts... Ross Geller : So basically all nuts? Professor Spafford : Interestingly... no. Charlie Wheeler : Kinda playing fast and loose with the word "interesting". Professor Spafford : If you'll excuse me I'm going to use the restroom. Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God!! Ross Geller : I've lost the will to live. Charlie Wheeler : Let's ditch him! Ross Geller : What? Charlie Wheeler : Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you! Ross Geller : Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll... Charlie Wheeler : Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! Ross Geller : Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Ross Geller : Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're a paleonthologist, too! Oh, ok, now, what do you think of Ranion's new theory of species' variegation in segmented arthopods? Charlie Wheeler : Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas... Phoebe Buffay : Ah, ah. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. Ross Geller : Ranion's theory of species variegation? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out! Monica Geller : So, did you two have fun? Ross Geller : Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny... Monica Geller : And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a HOTTY!! HI! Rachel Green : Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play. Ross Geller : Really? Wh-what's wrong? Rachel Green : I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!! Charlie Wheeler : Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry. Rachel Green : ... Ok, who is this? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue. Rachel Green : Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease! Monica Geller : Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec? Rachel Green : Sure! Oh... Monica Geller : You're not sick! Rachel Green : What? Yes, I am! Monica Geller : Ok, then, why are you... all dressed up?? Rachel Green : When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better! Monica Geller : You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey! Rachel Green : Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is! Monica Geller : Ok, what is this? Rachel Green : Ok! Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you! Monica Geller : WHAT? Ross Geller : Wh-what's going on? Monica Geller : Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof! Rachel Green : And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!! Charlie Wheeler : I thought you came to say you were sick. Rachel Green : Ok professor or detective? Phoebe Buffay : Joey's having a party and he wasn't gonna invite us? Rachel Green : Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory! Phoebe Buffay : And that horrible museum tour! Ross Geller : No, I arranged that... Joey: Hey you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun. Phoebe Buffay : We know about your party Joey. Joey Tribbiani : What party? Monica Geller : The game's over! Take off your robe! Joey Tribbiani : Ok... I mean... #ALL# : No!! Cover it up!! Joey Tribbiani : Nice to meet ya! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it Thanks for coming. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Kyle Lowder! Kyle Lowder : Hi. Monica Geller : I love you! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something... Monica Geller : Oh yeah that's what you want - my inhibitions lowered. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself. Phoebe Buffay : Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler! Chandler Bing : Where the hell is everybody? Bitter lady: Why don't you like me?! Chapter One: My first period. Monica Geller : Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love". Rachel Green : Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number. Monica Geller : Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married! Matthew Ashford : It was nice to meet you Rachel. Rachel Green : Nice to meet you. Matthew Ashford : Call me. Rachel Green : Ok Monica: We will!! Monica Geller : Look at you with all the guys! Rachel Green : Yeah! Monica Geller : I guess you have forgotten all about Joey? Rachel Green : Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler! Monica Geller : Please... Chandler is the love of my life... ... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! Ross: So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh? Charlie Wheeler : Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone. Ross Geller : Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer? Charlie Wheeler : Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with. Ross Geller : You... you dated Albert Wintermeyer? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah... Ross Geller : ... And you called him Alby!? I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby... Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man. Ross Geller : Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10! Charlie Wheeler : Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues... Ross Geller : Oh! like what?! Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood". Charlie Wheeler : Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him. Ross Geller : Who is intimidating to a guy who won the Nobel Prize? Charlie Wheeler : A guy who won two. Ross Geller : Two? Wha...? Don't tell me you dated Benjamin Hobart. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah... for three years. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who hasn't won the Nobel Prize? Charlie Wheeler : ... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy. Ross Geller : Oh yeah? no, no Nobel Prizes for him? Charlie Wheeler : No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant. Ross Geller : Huh... huh... what a loser! Some more wine? Phoebe Buffay : Hey Ross! Rachel Green : How is it going with Charlie? Ross Geller : Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, What's the matter? Ross Geller : She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth. Rachel Green : I always loved that!! Ross Geller : Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Worse? Ross Geller : Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... "Can we walk"? Oh, you... you like that? Phoebe Buffay : No. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Come on! I think this is funny! Bitter Lady : Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh? Chandler Bing : oh yes, God yes!! Bitter Lady : Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. How could he leave me?!?! Chandler Bing : I... I don't know... you seem lovely. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. Ross Geller : Nice to meet you. Dirk : Hey! So what show are you on? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology. Joey: It's a science. Dirk : Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize. Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or... Ross Geller : Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys. Dirk : Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs. Ross Geller : I'd lead with that. Monica: That's it, just sign right on the bra . Joey Tribbiani : Monica! Monica Geller : Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year! Joey: What have you got there? Ross Geller : Just some boys gave me their phone numbers. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, let me see! Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty? Rachel Green : I think I am. Joey Tribbiani : Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug . This guy's Canadian . And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different. Joey: Pass, pass, oh, pass, double-pass, pass... Rachel Green : Why, why, what's wrong with these guys? Joey Tribbiani : Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best. Rachel Green : Joey, you're so sweet. Joey Tribbiani : That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight. Rachel Green : Who ? Joey: Me. Rachel Green : What? Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke! Rachel Green : Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! Joey Tribbiani : Gotcha. Rachel Green : Oh, Very funny... Joey. Chandler: So, how did you enjoy the play? Monica Geller : Oh my god, honey, I'm so so so so so sorry. Chandler Bing : Well you should be. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater. Monica Geller : You really liked it? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained not to listen! But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted. Monica Geller : Oh really! Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period! Monica Geller : No! Chandler Bing : Did somebody sign your bra? Monica Geller : So I got it when I was 13... Phoebe Buffay : Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper? Ross Geller : It's actually a 1,000,000$ prize. Phoebe Buffay : Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd. Ross Geller : Yeah, maybe. I do have my whole career in front of me. I mean, I can still win a Nobel prize. Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited. Phoebe Buffay : You're so much more than just brains! You're sweet, and kind, and funny... Ross Geller : And sexy. Phoebe Buffay : Ok well give her a chance to see all of that! Ross Geller : Yeah, you're right, thanks Pheebs, I'm gonna go find her. Phoebe Buffay : Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch! Ross Geller : Stop going through my stuff ! Rachel: Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey. Monica Geller : No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea. Rachel Green : Please, what about you and Chandler? Monica Geller : That's different! I was drunk and stupid! Rachel Green : Well hello ! Monica Geller : What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them? Rachel Green : I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey! Monica Geller : Alright . I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision. Rachel Green : I'm gonna do it. Monica Geller : And I can't stop you. Rachel Green : No. Ross: Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere? Ross: I'm smarter than him! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler. Chandler Bing : Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you. Monica Geller : Oh, you're so wonderful. Bitter Woman : Why don't you like me! Chapter one: my first period. Chandler Bing : Can't believe you guys bought that, enjoy your slow death . Monica Geller : It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie. Ross Geller : Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE! Chandler Bing : I missed most of the party Charlie's a girl, right? Ross Geller : Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss. Rachel Green : I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD! Ross Geller : Why do you care so much? Monica Geller : Yes Rachel, why do you care so much? Rachel Green : Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common. Ross Geller : Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils... Phoebe Buffay : Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid! Rachel Green : All right, so... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean... Ross Geller : Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it... Ross Geller : Oh, God. I forgot how hot she was! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! #ALL# : Hi! Ross Geller : I'm gonna get some more coffee. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, you know what? I'll come with you! Ross Geller : Ok. Chandler Bing : So, a professor, uh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! She is cool, and she's so smart! Her mind is totally acrimonious . That's not how she used it...? Charlie Wheeler : I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me. Ross Geller : Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people. Charlie Wheeler : You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral... Ross Geller : Yeah, I know the type. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close? Opening credits. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey you guys! Look what I just got. Rachel Green : Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them? Phoebe Buffay : I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain. Rachel Green : Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive! Phoebe Buffay : Oh... then I overpaid. Monica Geller : Hey, what's this? Rachel Green : Oh, it's a gift certificate to this new SPA in SOHO. Monica Geller : Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains. Rachel Green : Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting... Monica Geller : Do you wanna go hunting? Rachel Green : Well, I would like to have the option!! Phoebe Buffay : What's up? Hey, Rachel!! Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business! Monica Geller : And she wants to go hunting, too!! Rachel Green : Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, this is not about the MONEY, ok? It's about... it's about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us... the hollow shells. Rachel Green : I don't care about any of that!! Phoebe Buffay : Well, do you care about friendship? Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend. Rachel Green : Oh, not as a friend, Phoebe!! Fine, I won't use it! Phoebe Buffay : Promise? Rachel Green : I promise. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Rachel Green : But I am going hunting!! Monica Geller : Hey honey! I missed you today! Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah? Monica Geller : Yeah. What d'you wanna do tonight? Chandler Bing : Oh, well... Maybe we could... Monica Geller : Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank. Chandler Bing : We really need to take those tests? Monica Geller : Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests. Chandler Bing : But I don't wanna do it in a cup! Monica Geller : What is the big deal? Chandler Bing : It's weird! In a doctor's office? Monica Geller : It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell? Chandler Bing : I cannot believe Ross told you that! And in my defense, it was a Wendy's! Monica Geller : Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea! Chandler Bing : Yeah, ok. I'm sure that doctor's office can't be worst than on a class trip to the Hershey's factory! Monica Geller : OH! Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! RACHEL TALKS TOO! Joey Tribbiani : Who says that wine has to cost more than milk! Joey Tribbiani : Heeey! Charlie Wheeler : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Come on in, how are ya? Charlie Wheeler : I'm good! Joey Tribbiani : Can I offer you a drink? Charlie Wheeler : Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book... Joey Tribbiani : Uh-oh. I hade a pretty hectic day at work too, today I had to open a door and go ohhhh! Charlie Wheeler : So I am just so excited to be here. And I can't wait to start exploring the city! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, if you need a tour guide... Charlie Wheeler : Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ok, what do you wanna see first? Charlie Wheeler : Oh, well, we can go see the Chronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall. Joey Tribbiani : Ok! Charlie Wheeler : And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library. Joey Tribbiani : I know, yeah! Charlie Wheeler : And first, I have to see the MET! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, ok? You wanna see the Yankees. Charlie Wheeler : No, no, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular! Joey Tribbiani : Which one, they all suck! Charlie Wheeler : The museum! Joey Tribbiani : I don't think so. Rachel Green : Hi there! Receptionist : Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa SPA. How may I help you? Rachel Green : Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate. Receptionist : This has been torn up. Rachel Green : And... taped back together. Receptionist : Ok well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready. Rachel Green : Ok. Receptionist : Have a seat through the glass doors. Rachel Green : through the glass doors. Receptionist : Through the glass doors. Rachel Green : Alright-y then. Receptionist : Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me? Receptionist : Sorry, everyone is booked! Phoebe Buffay : But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are. Receptionist : Then why you work here? Phoebe Buffay : 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine! Receptionist : Well, I think this is a great place to work! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, are they listening? Joey Tribbiani : Ross! Ross Geller : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : I need to talk to you about Charlie. Ross Geller : Oh, do you, do you really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I'm... I'm kind of having a little problem. Ross Geller : Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it! Joey Tribbiani : No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo... Ross Geller : Get to the problem! Joey Tribbiani : Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid! Ross Geller : Are you wearing two belts? Joey Tribbiani : EH, what do you know! Ross Geller : You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid. Joey Tribbiani : Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out! Ross Geller : You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship. Joey Tribbiani : Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her. Ross Geller : Fine. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks. Ross Geller : Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET! Joey Tribbiani : The Metsss! Ross Geller : Oh, no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that's what she meant! You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion! Ross Geller : Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, all right, so I'll take her to the MET. Ross Geller : Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love. Joey Tribbiani : Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date! Ross Geller : But I'm not! . You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food... Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok? Ross Geller : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : You got to tell me exactly what to do there. Ross Geller : Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire. Joey Tribbiani : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right. Chandler Bing : I have a weird feeling about this place. How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet. Monica Geller : Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that. Nurse : Mr. Bing? Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container. Chandler Bing : Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it. Monica Geller : Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I guess! Monica Geller : I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you! Janice Litman Goralnik : OH MY GOD!! Chandler Bing : Oh, Come on! Janice Litman Goralnik : Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this! Monica Geller : Hey, we're probably fertile, let's go home! Chandler Bing : Why are you here? Janice Litman Goralnik : Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we... Chandler Bing : No no no... I mean, why? why is she here?? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! Oh! They gave you the kiddy size . Chandler Bing : What!? Monica Geller : This was fun! But I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to! Chandler Bing : I'd love to stay, but I have eh... got a hot date... Janice Litman Goralnik : Please... go! Just let me know if you need a hand! Chandler Bing : I think it just fell off. Phoebe Buffay : Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole. Rachel Green : Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, then I'm Swedish... Monica Geller : So, what's your name? Phoebe Buffay : It's a normal Swedish name... Ikea... Rachel Green : Oh... what an interesting name. Phoebe Buffay : Ja! Rachel Green : You know I... Phoebe Buffay : Time for your scalp massage! Rachel Green : Wow... I really love your... Phoebe Buffay : Is something wrong? Rachel Green : No, it's just that uhm... it feels so good... Ikea... Yeah, say hey, you'll know this, what's the capital of Sweden? Phoebe Buffay : Uhm... Stockholm. Rachel Green : Damn! I wish I knew if that was right! Joey Tribbiani : Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself. Ross Geller : Now, do you have any idea what you just said? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks! Ross Geller : Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you. Joey Tribbiani : Phonetically? Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Ross Geller : Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly! Joey Tribbiani : Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on "Days" I had to say "Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy". Ross Geller : Wow. What does that mean? Joey Tribbiani : No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear". Ross Geller : Ok! So let's move on to the Renaissance? Joey Tribbiani : Ok, Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure. Touch it, it's really bumpy! . Ross Geller : Nah ah! Nah ah! No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings. Joey Tribbiani : Come on! you... Ross Geller : No! Chandler Bing : My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! Janice! You're not... gone? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit? Chandler Bing : Yeah! yeah... The hard part is over! Janice Litman Goralnik : That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results? Chandler Bing : I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine. Chandler Bing : oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'... Janice Litman Goralnik : What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office? Chandler Bing : It was a "Wendy's!! " Phoebe Buffay : "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! Rachel Green : Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Ja! Ja! Rachel Green : Yah! She's... uhm... not very good though... Phoebe Buffay : Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is? Rachel Green : I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar... Phoebe Buffay : Or... maybe she has trouble loosening your knots because you're such a high maintenance tight ass! Rachel Green : Phoebe!! Phoebe Buffay : You know it's me? Rachel Green : For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden! Phoebe Buffay : How can you come here? Rachel Green : How could you not tell me you worked here? Phoebe Buffay : I don't have to tell you everything! Rachel Green : Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage! Phoebe Buffay : Tips not included. Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here? Phoebe Buffay : Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes! Rachel Green : Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any! Phoebe Buffay : You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back! Rachel Green : Good for you Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : Okay If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you. Ross Geller : Haha! Got ya! Die, die, die! Ross Geller : Respectfully, professor R. Geller. , closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey! Charlie Wheeler : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey, how was the Met? Charlie Wheeler : The museum was amazing! Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh? Charlie Wheeler : Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense. Ross Geller : What do you mean? Charlie Wheeler : Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around. Ross Geller : Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right? Charlie Wheeler : No, we went to the left. Ross Geller : Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, it's fun . Ross Geller : What? Charlie Wheeler : Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird. Ross Geller : What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on. Charlie Wheeler : Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean? Ross Geller : Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, I guess that's true. Ross Geller : And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is. Charlie Wheeler : He is very sweet. Plus he's hot! Ross Geller : That was going to be my next argument. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Charlie Wheeler : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : You're ready? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, let's go. Thanks Ross. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up. Ross Geller : Glad I could help man. Joey Tribbiani : Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... I made it work. Chandler Bing : It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now. Chandler Bing : Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? Oh. Well, so what does that mean? Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. Monica Geller : Hey sweetie. Chandler Bing : Doctor Connelly just called. Monica Geller : With good news? Of course it is not good news, you just said "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you? Chandler Bing : Actually it's both of us. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment. Monica Geller : Oh... what does that mean? Chandler Bing : It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. It means... Monica Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I'm sorry. Monica Geller : I'm sorry too. Chandler Bing : Well, we're gonna... we're gonna figure this out. Monica Geller : I know. Closing credits. Receptionist : Good morning Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Good morning receptionist. Receptionist : Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in room No. 1. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel Green? Son of a bitch, she came back? Phoebe Buffay : Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy. Charlie Wheeler : Oh! That feels sooo good! Rachel Green : Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show! Charlie Wheeler : I'm sorry, what? Rachel Green : Oh... Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not... I was just-I was just reading to Emma. Charlie Wheeler : From... Cosmo?? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah... It's... "climax your way to better skin". Charlie Wheeler : So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes! Joey Tribbiani : So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good. Rachel Green : Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey Rach! Rachel Green : Yeah... Joey Tribbiani : Maybe you could take Charlie shopping. Rachel Green : Oh, well... Charlie Wheeler : I'm sure you have better things to do. Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes. Charlie Wheeler : If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help. Rachel Green : Ok, uh-uh... Let's-Let's shop!! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... ... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, great! All right, bye! Pain in the ass!! That's off, right? Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter, Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him! Rachel Green : Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him! Phoebe Buffay : Exactly! Rachel Green : And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous! Phoebe Buffay : I didn't even think about that! Aaargh, sexual politics!! Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs, I'm-I'm taking Charlie shopping, why don't you come and I'll help you find something. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, that'll be great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together. Rachel Green : That's not what we're gonna do! Joey Tribbiani : Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'? Chandler Bing : Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face! Monica Geller : Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess! Chandler Bing : Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!! Doctor Connelly : Hi there. Chandler Bing : Hi. Monica Geller : Hi. Doctor Connelly : I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options. Monica Geller : Ok. Doctor Connelly : Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis. Chandler Bing : Oh, DAMN IT! Monica Geller : Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out. Doctor Connelly : Ok, given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy, or insemination using a sperm donor. Monica Geller : Ok. Doctor Connelly : And, of course, if you feel that neither of those is right for you, you can always adopt. Chandler Bing : Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment! Rachel Green : Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping? Charlie Wheeler : Oh, yeah! Let's do it! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, have a good time. Rachel Green : Not gonna find any clothes in there! Ross Geller : Hey, you guys! Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference? Charlie Wheeler : Umh... Kurts Baley? Ross Geller : Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract Well, why are you laughing? Joey Tribbiani : Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah! Charlie Wheeler : So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions? Ross Geller : Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today. Charlie Wheeler : He's a pretty tough guy to impress. Ross Geller : Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him. Rachel Green : Oh... you're not gonna do a magic trick, are ya? Ross Geller : Tsz... NO! . Chandler Bing : Hey guys! Ross Geller : Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me. Chandler Bing : I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick. Ross Geller : It's in Barbados. Chandler Bing : But you come first! Rachel Green : I'm there! Charlie Wheeler : We'll see you, guys! Joey Tribbiani : Bye. Rachel Green : Bye, see ya. Chandler Bing : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic? Chandler Bing : Not as much fun as last time. Apparently you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample. Ross Geller : So-so what did the doctor say? Chandler Bing : Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her. Joey Tribbiani : So you're ruling out surrogacy? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : So, I don't have to learn what that means? Chandler Bing : Aside from adoption the only other choice is insemination, so... we're talking about sperm donors. Joey Tribbiani : Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs? Chandler Bing : ah-ha! Ross Geller : How do you feel about all this? Chandler Bing : I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one. Joey Tribbiani : Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it! Ross Geller : What? Ross Geller : What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben! Ross Geller : The data we are receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing of these fossils are - are staggering. Professor Sherman : Mmm-mm. Ross Geller : I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. So-so what I am saying is - is is that is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles! Ross Geller : Oh, that's not what you want... Shop Assistant : Incentive For Men? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'll take some of that. Rachel Green : Pheebs, that's for men! Phoebe Buffay : No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. . Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets! Charlie Wheeler : So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be? Rachel Green : On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here. Charlie Wheeler : See, I told you I needed someone! Oh, you know, by the way, as a "thank you", I would really love to take you out. Rachel Green : Really? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come? Rachel Green : Oh, I can't. Because I-I've seen them. Charlie Wheeler : You've seen all the movies... Rachel Green : Yeah! I'm a big fan! Of the movies, you know. Motion pictures. The Talkies! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room? Rachel Green : Sure! Phoebe Buffay : Ok! Charlie Wheeler : Wha, you know, maybe we can do something else! Rachel Green : You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff. Phoebe Buffay : So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie? Rachel Green : She's ok, I just don't get a really good vibe from her! Phoebe Buffay : Why? Rachel Green : I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance! Phoebe Buffay : Who else? Rachel Green : Anybody! You, me, you know, Monica's mom... Phoebe Buffay : You like Joey? Rachel Green : Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Rachel Green : It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous! Phoebe Buffay : Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him? Rachel Green : Oh, I get it! Phoebe Buffay : Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right. Rachel Green : I know, I know, so it is just not a big deal. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Rachel Green : So can we keep this between us? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Rachel Green : Ok, great, because I gotta get out of here, the smell of beets is killing me! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Phoebe Buffay : Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin? Monica Geller : Hi honey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work! Monica Geller : Oh, of course, it's so nice to see you again, Zack! Zack : You too. Chandler Bing : You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer. Monica Geller : I got it. Zack : Thanks. Chandler Bing : So, Zack's pretty nice, uh? Monica Geller : Yeah, I guess. Chandler Bing : So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his! Monica Geller : Excuse me? Chandler Bing : Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is "spermtastic"! Monica Geller : Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"! Chandler Bing : No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out. Monica Geller : Chandler! Chandler Bing : I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go! Monica Geller : I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor! Chandler Bing : Ok! Monica Geller : Uh! Chandler Bing : Zack! Zack : Thanks! Do you have a coaster? I don't wanna make a ring. Monica Geller : Tell me about yourself, Zack! Rachel Green : Oh, God, do you think she heard? It would be so bad if she heard! Phoebe Buffay : Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me. Rachel Green : Ok, great! Rachel Green : Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying! Phoebe Buffay : I didn't say anything yet! Rachel Green : Well, get back in there and talk! Phoebe Buffay : I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends. Rachel Green : What!? Phoebe Buffay : Well, some things are just hard to say to your face. Rachel Green : Ok well, I heard that! Which means that she heard it too! Phoebe Buffay : Ooh! We have a problem. Rachel Green : Oh! What are we gonna do? Stranger : Just be honest with her. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Stranger : And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone... Rachel Green : Alright! Enough out of you! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Ross Geller : Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there? Joey Tribbiani : No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up? Ross Geller : I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker... Joey Tribbiani : Oh! How's it going? Ross Geller : It could be better! He, uhm... he fell asleep! Joey Tribbiani : What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda! Ross Geller : Barbados. Joey Tribbiani : Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job! Ross Geller : What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder. Joey Tribbiani : Well, just wake him up! Ross Geller : I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job! Joey Tribbiani : Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!? Monica Geller : Hey guys! Dinner's ready! Zack : Oh! I'm gonna go wash up first. Thanks! Chandler Bing : So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones! Monica Geller : Ok, there's enthusiastic and there's just plain gay!! Chandler Bing : You don't like him. Monica Geller : I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information. Chandler Bing : Alright! Just follow my lead! Zack : You guys have such a great place here. Chandler Bing : Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family? Zack : Uhm... no. Although I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis. Chandler Bing : That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack. Zack : Okaaay... so eh... so tell me, how did you guys meet. Monica Geller : Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes? Zack : No... Monica Geller : Eh... Heart Disease, Alzheimers, gout? Zack : You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh? Monica Geller : We're just making conversation. Zack : Ok. I heard a joke today. It's pretty funny... Chandler Bing : You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness. Zack : Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else? Chandler Bing : Sure! Alright... Zack : Ravioli's delicious! Chandler Bing : I noticed you were enjoying that Ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth. Did you have braces as a child? Zack : No I didn't. Monica Geller : Yess!! Chandler Bing : We're teeth people Zack! Rachel Green : Alright! Let's just do it. Let's just go over there and see if she heard. Phoebe Buffay : Good plan. Rachel Green : Ok. Wha...? where? Where are you going? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! Rachel Green : Hey, hi! Hey, where've you been? Charlie Wheeler : Oh! trying on clothes. Rachel Green : Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world! Charlie Wheeler : Rachel... I heard you guys whispering. Rachel Green : Oh God. You did. You heard. Ok, listen, let me explain. Charlie Wheeler : No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey. Rachel Green : Yeah. Charlie Wheeler : It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...? Rachel Green : Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho! Charlie Wheeler : Wow! Rachel Green : Yeah... Charlie Wheeler : You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person. Rachel Green : I try... Ross Geller : Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! Professor Feesen : You're welcome. Joey Tribbiani : Wow! You look... ... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness! Phoebe Buffay : Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party. Joey Tribbiani : Then don't go! Phoebe Buffay : Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk! Phoebe Buffay : You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room. Phoebe Buffay : David? David : Phoebe! Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! David : Wow, you look unbelievable. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. What-what are you doing here? David : Well, I'm back from Minsk... permanently. Phoebe Buffay : What happened? David : Well, remember how I was trying to achieve the positronic distillation of subatomic particles? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? David : Well, after eight years of research I discovered that it can't be done. Phoebe Buffay : Well, it's great that you're back! How are you? David : Good, good, life is good... Phoebe Buffay : Good! David : Ah well, I-I'm seeing someone. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, good for you. David : She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that". Phoebe Buffay : Mike and I broke up. David : You're kidding me. Because I'm not seeing anybody, I've just totally made that up. Phoebe Buffay : Really? David : Yeah, I don't know why, I'm sorry, I guess I just didn't want to lose face. Phoebe Buffay : I understand. Yeah. Ok so then ok, so we're both living in New York, not seeing anyone. That's so not like us! David : Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now? Phoebe Buffay : Well... no. David : Do you wanna get a drink? Phoebe Buffay : I'd love to. David : Great. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. David : Do you smell beets? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, got it, stay upwind of me. Charlie Wheeler : Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with? Rachel Green : No, that's David. Charlie Wheeler : There's a third guy? Rachel Green : Tip of the iceberg. Zack : I'm gonna take off now. You're gonna let me go home, aren't you? Chandler Bing : You sure you don't wanna stick around a little longer? Zack : No, no, I should get home, I'm kinda tired. Chandler Bing : Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression. Zack : No it's just tiring having to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died. I'll see you tomorrow. Chandler Bing : Ok. Chandler Bing : I think we've found our sperm! Monica Geller : Does seem pretty perfect. Chandler Bing : Yeah, you think so, well? Should I ask him? Monica Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway! Monica Geller : No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you. Chandler Bing : Yeah, he's better! Monica Geller : No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else. Chandler Bing : Really? Are you sure? Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm sure. Chandler Bing : Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm. Monica Geller : That is so sweet. I love you. Chandler Bing : So you know this leaves us with... Monica Geller : Adoption. Chandler Bing : How do you feel about that? Monica Geller : I think I feel ok about it. Actually I think I feel really good about it. Chandler Bing : Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way. Monica Geller : So this is it, we're really gonna adopt? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh my God, we're gonna be parents! Chandler Bing : We are gonna be great parents. Monica Geller : And it could be soon. I mean, think about it: right now, somewhere out there our baby could be being conceived. Chandler Bing : Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking! Chandler Bing : Hey, Zack! Zack : Hey Chandler. Chandler Bing : Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable. Zack : No you didn't. Chandler Bing : Really? Zack : No you did. Chandler Bing : My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it. Jeanette : Here are the boards for Friday's pitch . Zack : Oh, thank you. Chandler Bing : You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would ya? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go! Ross Geller : Oh, that's right! Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right? Joey Tribbiani : Mmh-mmh. Ross Geller : Can you say Barbados? Joey Tribbiani : Barbados! Ross Geller : Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars. Rachel Green : Do you have anything that would... get us out of them? Chandler Bing : Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff". Phoebe Buffay : I think David would probably wanna hear a few lectures. Ross Geller : Oh, right, because he's a scientist! Phoebe Buffay : No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die. Ross Geller : Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow. Joey Tribbiani : All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally. Ross Geller : It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility! Charlie Wheeler : Wow! This place is beautiful! Ross Geller : Look at all these paleontologists!! Joey Tribbiani : I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! Woman : Oh my God, I can't believe you're here! Joey Tribbiani : I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time! Woman : Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan! Joey Tribbiani : That... never happens... Woman : I've been following your career for years, I-I can't wait for your keynote speech. Ross Geller : Wow! This is very flattering, uh... Woman : I would love your autograph. Ross Geller : Uh, uh... Sure! Uhm... "Dear..." Woman : Sarah. Ross Geller : "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller". Sarah : Thank you so much! Ross Geller : Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani. Sarah : Are you a paleontologist? Joey Tribbiani : No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives". Ross Geller : Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray. Sarah : I'm sorry, I don't own a TV. Joey Tribbiani : You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at?? Monica Geller : David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air. David : Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion. Monica Geller : See? Chandler Bing : Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind". Monica Geller : Alright, I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there. Phoebe Buffay : Mike?? Who's Mike? David : Mike is your ex... uh... boyfriend! Phoebe Buffay : That's right! Oh, yeah... Well, I've totally forgotten about im! AH! That's-That's... a blast from the past! David : It's ok. Ho-honest mistake. Phoebe Buffay : Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time! Chandler Bing : She does? Monica Geller : Let's get you out of here!! Monica Geller : At least you took me down with you! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right? Monica Geller : I guess, in time. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone. Phoebe Buffay : You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone! David : Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh? Chandler Bing : I wouldn't read too much into it. David : Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right? Chandler Bing : David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee. David : Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe... Chandler Bing : Seriously, we're gonna do this? David : I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up? Chandler Bing : Oh, because his penis was too big. Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage? David : That's great! That's great! I-I'll propose to her! Chandler Bing : What? David : Well, I was probably going to do it at some point. Chandler Bing : I didn't mean now... David : Why not? It's brilliant! Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely. Chandler Bing : Well, you're welcome! Glad I could help. David : How do you think I should propose? Chandler Bing : David, I'm pretending to read here!! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong? Charlie Wheeler : I didn't mean a thong... I meant thongs... Joey Tribbiani : You really should have been more clear about that! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! ah! eh... Britney Spears!? Ross Geller : Yeah, she never misses these conferences! No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz! Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God! Did you talk to him? Ross Geller : Yeah... what am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz? Joey Tribbiani : You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" Ross Geller : Ready to go? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out? Charlie Wheeler : Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech. Ross Geller : Yeah. Charlie Wheeler : But maybe we can have dinner later? On the balcony? Will be romantic. Joey Tribbiani : Will you wear a thong? Charlie Wheeler : I will if you will. Joey Tribbiani : Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal! Ross Geller : I'm good, I have dinner plans . Charlie Wheeler : So you'll be ok? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming... Ross Geller : Uh, Joe, have you looked outside? Joey Tribbiani : No, why? Joey Tribbiani : Oh man! Charlie Wheeler : There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! Joey Tribbiani : I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! Monica Geller : Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David. Chandler Bing : I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" "I do". Monica Geller : Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee. Chandler Bing : David is going to propose to Phoebe. Monica Geller : What? Why? Chandler Bing : Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married. Monica Geller : Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke? Chandler Bing : I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said? Monica Geller : They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again. Chandler Bing : Man, that's some bad advice! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here! Rachel Green : Hey! Hey what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous! Rachel Green : Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed! Monica Geller : Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?! Chandler Bing : That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross! Joey Tribbiani : Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in. Monica Geller : Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling! Monica Geller : And make sure our room isn't next to theirs . Rachel Green : Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could share that with a guy. Phoebe Buffay : Not Joey. Rachel Green : Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler. Monica Geller : Yeah, right! David : So, ehm... I'm proposing to Pheobe tonight. Chandler Bing : Tonight?! Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? Oh, there it is! David : Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor. Chandler Bing : Nice! Chandler Bing : Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? Monica Geller : Ok! Chandler Bing : David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight! Monica Geller : See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to? Chandler Bing : That would be advice!! Monica Geller : Ok fine. I'll handle this. Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah? Monica Geller : I need to talk to you. Phoebe Buffay : Are you leaving "The Supremes"? Monica Geller : Ok, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice. Look, David is going to propose to you tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Wow? Really? That's fantastic! Monica Geller : What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." You know, it's every girl's dream! Monica Geller : Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer? Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna! Ross Geller : By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. Charlie Wheeler : It's great. You're gonna be the hit of the conference. Ross Geller : Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. . Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Ross Geller : The chocolates aren't here yet. Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Charlie Wheeler : Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic! Chandler Bing : Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...? Ross Geller : If you want to check your email, just ask! Chandler Bing : What? May I? Rachel Green : What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season. Charlie Wheeler : Actually the wet season is June to December. Rachel Green : It's not the time Charlie. Chandler Bing : Oh, no, no, no dear God, no! Joey Tribbiani : Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? Oh! Secret teapot? Chandler Bing : Your computer, I don't know wha... everything's gone! Ross Geller : Wha... what do you mean? Chandler Bing : It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive. Ross Geller : What, oh my God. What did you do? Chandler Bing : Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it. Ross Geller : Why, why would you open it? Chandler Bing : Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!! Ross Geller : What did it say? Chandler Bing : Nude... ... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry. Ross Geller : What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler! Chandler Bing : It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right? Ross Geller : NO! I don't!! Chandler Bing : Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...! Joey Tribbiani : It's really gone? Ross Geller : Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career! Chandler Bing : I just feel awful. Ross Geller : Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament! Chandler Bing : Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... Ross Geller : Get out! Rachel Green : You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work. Ross Geller : Well, what do you do? Rachel Green : Well, I usually go... play Tetris on somebody else's computer. Ross Geller : I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say? Joey Tribbiani : I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions. Ross Geller : I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe! Charlie Wheeler : Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night! Ross Geller : Wha... what you really think we can do that? Charlie Wheeler : Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner . Joey Tribbiani : Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can. Rachel Green : Ugh. Ross Geller : Alright, ok, let's do it. Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? . Mike Hannigan : Hello? Monica Geller : Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up! Mike Hannigan : Who is this? Monica Geller : This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you! Mike Hannigan : He... he's gonna propose? Monica Geller : I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! Mike Hannigan : Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you. Monica Geller : You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? Damnit! Monica Geller : Well, I hope you're happy! Chandler Bing : Oooh! I hope you're happy too, honey! Monica Geller : Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives! Chandler Bing : Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great! Monica Geller : No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike! Chandler Bing : And there's not chance that will work? Monica Geller : No, I called him. It's not gonna happen. Chandler Bing : Oooooooh! Meddler! Meddler! Monica Geller : Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place! Chandler Bing : This vacation sucks!! Joey Tribbiani : I'm so bored! Stupid rain, we... we can't do anything. Rachel Green : Well, I've brought some books. We could read. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, it hasn't come to that yet. Joey Tribbiani : Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do! Waiter : I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention? Rachel Green : We can't. We're not pharmacists! Joey Tribbiani : I know we're not, but Frank Medeio and... Eva Trorro... womba... Rachel Green : Kate Miller? Joey Tribbiani : Kate Miller it is. Rachel Green : And... that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend. Joey Tribbiani : In that case should I make sure it's on real good? Rachel Green : Thank you. Charlie Wheeler : And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's it? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah. Ross Geller : Oh my God, we did it! Charlie Wheeler : Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech. Ross Geller : Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. That's a pretty necklace. Charlie Wheeler : Thank you. Ross Geller : Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? Charlie Wheeler : Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you. Ross Geller : Oh my God, I love you. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation? Ross Geller : That's Ben, my son from my first marriage. Charlie Wheeler : Your first marriage? Ross Geller : Yeah. Charlie Wheeler : You're married more than once? Ross Geller : No. Charlie Wheeler : So, why did you break up? Ross Geller : Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay. Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God, this is so cool! Ross Geller : Ok, odd thing to get excited about! Charlie Wheeler : No, it's just... I was enganged to a guy who turned out to be gay! Ross Geller : Hey! High-five! Charlie Wheeler : Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiance was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner. Ross Geller : My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter. Charlie Wheeler : Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along" Ross Geller : I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay" Charlie Wheeler : I know! Ross Geller : And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome? Charlie Wheeler : I didn't do that. Ross Geller : Me neither. Joey Tribbiani : Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun. Rachel Green : I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home. Joey Tribbiani : Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like? Rachel Green : Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts... Joey Tribbiani : But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like? Rachel Green : No. Joey Tribbiani : There it is, you're blushing! Rachel Green : No, I'm not blushing, I'm sunburnt! From, you know, the rain. Joey Tribbiani : You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? Rachel Green : No. Joey Tribbiani : Tell me who it is. Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who? Rachel Green : Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen. Joey Tribbiani : What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get? Rachel Green : Oh! Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, who is that? Rachel Green : Do ya? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Charlie Wheeler : Hey! Charlie Wheeler : I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner. Joey Tribbiani : Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech? Ross Geller : Yep, we got it, we got it. Thank you so much. Charlie Wheeler : I had a great time. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who... Rachel Green : Later! La... Charlie Wheeler : So, shall we? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : Ok. See you, bye. Charlie Wheeler : Bye. Ross Geller : Good night. Joey Tribbiani : Night. Rachel Green : Ok, good night! Monica Geller : I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. She's clearly in love with Mike. Chandler Bing : You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that. David : Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say. Monica Geller : Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, let's go. Chandler Bing : I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David! David : Uh, Phoebe, uh... you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help! Phoebe Buffay : Sure, ok, yeah. David : But well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So, to that end... Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, Mike! David : It's David, actually! Phoebe Buffay : No, Mike's here. David : Hi Mike! Mike Hannigan : Hi David. Chandler. Monica... Oh! Monica Geller : IT'S THE HUMIDITY! Mike Hannigan : Hi Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : What are you, what are you doing here? Mike Hannigan : I have a question I need to ask you. David : I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this. David : Ok, would you care for my seat as well? Mike Hannigan : Actually yeah, that'll be great. David : That's fair, you've had a long trip. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you. David : Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say. Mike Hannigan : Sorry David, but she really has to know this. David : Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops. Monica Geller : You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? Now, I don't actually have a ring... David : I have a ring. Chandler Bing : I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy. David : Phoebe, will you marry me? Phoebe Buffay : No! David : Uhm... Ha ha! Phoebe Buffay : I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future. Mike Hannigan : We can have any future you want. David : Ok, I'm gonna take off. Phoebe Buffay : David, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. David : Just so I know, if I had asked first... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong. David : Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! Mike Hannigan : Is it ok if I hug you now? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Monica Geller : BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright? Chandler Bing : Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day. Monica Geller : I know. Rachel Green : Open your drapes! Open your drapes! Chandler Bing : I'm so glad we've got adjoining rooms! Monica Geller : The sun is out! Chandler Bing : Hey! Remember when I had corneas? Monica Geller : Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion. Chandler Bing : Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes. Rachel Green : Nooo! Monica Geller : Damn it! Ross Geller : Walls are pretty thin, guys! Ross Geller : Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating. Rachel Green : Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous! Ross Geller : Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus... Chandler Bing : Not to mention the cold sores. Ross Geller : And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development. Chandler Bing : Really? Ross Geller : But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus... Charlie Wheeler : What? Joey Tribbiani : He said "erectus"! Charlie Wheeler : You're... you're kidding, right? Joey Tribbiani : No, he really said it. Ross Geller : ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus... Joey Tribbiani : Erectus? Rachel Green : Homo. Ross Geller : ... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. Thank you! Ross Geller : Oh, thanks guys! Man With A Bow Tie : I thought... it was wonderful! Ross Geller : Oh! Man With A Bow Tie : Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... . Ross Geller : Ok... now... now we're just holding hands! Rachel Green : All right! Well, uh... we're gonna hit the beach? Monica Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : It was really... great! Ross Geller : Oh, thank you so much! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and so funny! Rachel Green : Oh! Ross Geller : Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here! Mike Hannigan : You're kidding, we wouldn't have missed it! Mike Hannigan : Oh... I'm back! Ross Geller : Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah? Mike Hannigan : Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! Well...? Charlie Wheeler : You were incredible! Ross Geller : Yeah? Charlie Wheeler : You blew them away! Ross Geller : Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were mouthing the words along with me? Charlie Wheeler : I was not! Ross Geller : No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star! Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God! I'm your groupie! Ross Geller : I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room! Ross Geller : Look, I took it too far! Monica Geller : I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!! Phoebe Buffay : Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. Not you guys. You got it going on! Monica Geller : So, what are we gonna do today? Mike Hannigan : They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff. Monica Geller : Ping pong? Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play! Chandler Bing : I don't think so! Monica Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying! Monica Geller : I'm not always that bad! Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah? What happened when we played last time? Monica Geller : I punched you...? Chandler Bing : And...? Monica Geller : ... Phoebe...? Phoebe Buffay : ... and...? Monica Geller : I clunked your heads together! Charlie Wheeler : Hey! There you are! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! Charlie Wheeler : I'm sorry, I can't! I'm running a discussion group all afternoon. Joey Tribbiani : Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you... Charlie Wheeler : You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and especially last night... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... Charlie Wheeler : Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun! Charlie Wheeler : Yeah... Charlie Wheeler : ... is it weird that it's not with each other? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! A little bit, yeah... Charlie Wheeler : I think we need to talk...! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... I think we do... ... about what? Monica Geller : C'mon guys, it'll be fun! Phoebe Buffay : All right, all right... I'll play if we don't keep score! Monica Geller : But then how do we know who wins? Phoebe Buffay : Nobody wins! Monica Geller : So, we're just four losers... SUPER! Chandler Bing : I'm not playing with you. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I'm out. Mike Hannigan : I'll play ya! Monica Geller : OK! Phoebe Buffay : Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing! Chandler Bing : She gets crazy! This scar is from Pictionary! Mike Hannigan : I think I will be all right! You wanna volley a bit for a serve? Monica Geller : Sure! Got to! Monica Geller : Aww! Mike Hannigan : Oh, by the way... I'm awesome!! Chandler Bing : Oh dear God, there's two of them! Mike Hannigan : You're ready to play? Monica Geller : Hell, yeah! Chandler Bing : Did you know this about him? Phoebe Buffay : No idea! I though he was soft like you! Mike Hannigan : Wanna make it more interesting? Monica Geller : How much were you thinking? Mike Hannigan : Ten bucks a game? Monica Geller : Make it fifty! Mike Hannigan : I'll make it a hundred! Monica Geller : One thousand... Chandler Bing : OK! Mike Hannigan : To see who goes first, you got a quarter? Monica Geller : No... Either of you girls got a quarter? Chandler Bing : Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him! Phoebe Buffay : Monica, you call it. Monica Geller : Heads! No, Tails! He-he-heads! Phoebe Buffay : Tails! Monica Geller : Ow, what are the chances! Monica Geller : Ha! My point! Mike Hannigan : Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point. Phoebe Buffay : He was a lawyer! Alexandra Steele : ... all these coasts having beautiful weather. In New York, it's 72 and sunny! Rachel Green : Oh! Weather bitch! Rachel Green : It's open! Hi, Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Hey... Rachel Green : What, is everything ok? Joey Tribbiani : Uh... Charlie and I broke up. Rachel Green : Nooooo, why? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, she said we have nothing in common. Rachel Green : Oh, that's crazy! Joey Tribbiani : No, it's not, we have nothing in common! Rachel Green : ... yeah, it's true. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull! Rachel Green : What, hey! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, Rach! Joey Tribbiani : I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls? Rachel Green : W-What are you, what are you talking about? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... What the hell is my problem? OH! Rachel Green : Ok... uh... maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl... Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me! Rachel Green : Yeah, I'm not talking about her... Joey Tribbiani : But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? Rachel Green : You know? Forget it! Joey Tribbiani : No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about? Rachel Green : No, I-I-I-I don't, I actually don't know who I'm talking about! So! Joey Tribbiani : Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later! Rachel Green : Yeah, sure! Joey Tribbiani : You like me? Rachel Green : Ok, let's not make a big thing about this! Joey Tribbiani : That's a huge thing! Rachel Green : Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts musings, if you will! Joey Tribbiani : What... for how long? Rachel Green : Only like a month! Joey Tribbiani : A MONTH?? Rachel Green : What the... DIAL IT DOWN! Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! Ok, dial it up a little! Joey Tribbiani : I just have one question! Rachel Green : Shoot! Joey Tribbiani : What the hell are you doin'??? Rachel Green : I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... what that would be like?... Joey Tribbiani : Uh, am I curious? I mean, I am as curious as... as... George!! Rachel Green : Who...? Joey Tribbiani : CURIOUS GEORGE ! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat! Rachel Green : Oh yes, of course, I remember him! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, he had a paper route. Rachel Green : Yeah, he did! Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about! Joey Tribbiani : No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen! Rachel Green : But can it... just... happen a little bit? Joey Tribbiani : NO, NO! It can't happen at all! Rachel Green : But why, why not? Joey Tribbiani : Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! I couldn't do it to Ross! Rachel Green : But that wasn't gonna stop you before! Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... I'm sorry...! Rachel Green : I'm sorry, too! OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything! Joey Tribbiani : NO! No-no-no-no-no-no! Hey! Hey, we'll be fine! Li... hey, like you said: no big deal! Rachel Green : It's not a big deal! Joey Tribbiani : NO BIG DEAL! Rachel Green : It's so not a big deal! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! I'll see ya later! Yeah! Rachel Green : Ok! Rachel Green : Ok, I... Rachel Green : AAAHHHH! Monica Geller : Ooh! I'm sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table! Mike Hannigan : Do you? Monica Geller : Ah, yeah! Mike Hannigan : Do you? Monica Geller : Ah, yeaaah! Mike Hannigan : DO YOU? Monica Geller : AH YEAAAAH! Chandler Bing : Do you really find this attractive on him? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah! Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now? Chandler Bing : I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one. Phoebe Buffay : C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head! Monica Geller : Oh, damn it! Phoebe Buffay : I sleep with him! Mike Hannigan : Game, point! Monica Geller : Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl? Mike Hannigan : You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that. Monica Geller : NO, NO, NOOO! Mike Hannigan : And that's how it's done! Chandler Bing : Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner. Monica Geller : Best out of three? Mike Hannigan : That's what I'm thinking. Chandler Bing : Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil? Monica Geller : Serve the ball, chump! Mike Hannigan : : Serve the ball, chump. Phoebe Buffay : Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back. Jarvis Oberblau : I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks if you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be just nifty! Ross Geller : Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. Woman : Jarvis? Jarvis Oberblau : Oh, you're back... this is my wife, Nancy. Ross Geller : Get Out! Charlie Wheeler : Ross, can I talk to you for a minute? Ross Geller : Yes, please! So, what's going on? Charlie Wheeler : Uh, well... Joey and I broke up. Ross Geller : Oh my God, wh-what happened? Charlie Wheeler : Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus! Ross Geller : I knew that was him! Charlie Wheeler : Anyway I just, uh, I think it's for the best. Ross Geller : Hey, you ok? Charlie Wheeler : I guess. There was hum... there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone else. Paleontologist : Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker. Ross Geller : Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later? Professore Clerk : Or we could throw you both in now! Ross Geller : Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. . GO, GO, GO! Mike Hannigan : Ok, so it's a tie again, 41 to 41. Chandler Bing : Ok, look! Enough is enough! Monica Geller : No, I have just to have two more points to beat him! Chandler Bing : Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head! Monica Geller : I can't just walk away! I've put in four hours! Chandler Bing : But... Monica Geller : Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness! Chandler Bing : What about the obsessive cleaning? Monica Geller : That's just good sense! Monica Geller : Aww! Chandler Bing : You ok? Monica Geller : No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! Oh my God! I can't play! Mike Hannigan : So you forfeit? Phoebe Buffay : Mike wins? Monica Geller : I can't believe it! I lost! Chandler Bing : No, you didn't. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : Because I'm gonna play for ya. Phoebe Buffay : You can't do that! Mike Hannigan : Oh, that's ok. I don't care which of them I beat. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister. Monica Geller : Honey, you don't have to do this. Chandler Bing : Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you. Monica Geller : But... you suck! Chandler Bing : You're welcome, sweetheart. Chandler Bing : All right Mike, let's get this over with. Sudden death. Whoever wins this point, wins. Mike Hannigan : Ok! Monica Geller : Oh my God! You're good! Phoebe Buffay : It's like watching porn! Chandler Bing : And that's... how... it's done! Monica Geller : Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you Hold on! I almost forgot loser! When did you stop sucking? Chandler Bing : I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was! Monica Geller : Why? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Monica Geller : This is so great! Now we can enter into doubles tournaments! Chandler Bing : That's why! Charlie Wheeler : Thanks! Ross Geller : Hi. Charlie Wheeler : Are they still looking for us? Ross Geller : Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. You know, we as a group are not the coolest. Ross Geller : I don't think they saw us. Charlie Wheeler : I don't think they did. Charlie Wheeler : Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else. Ross Geller : Oh. Can I... can I ask who? Charlie Wheeler : I think you know. Ross Geller : I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so... Ross Geller : I'm sorry... we... we can't. Charlie Wheeler : All right, all right. Ross Geller : I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. Or-or not! Rachel Green : What? Homo ergaster: Some scientists classify some African erectus specimens as belonging to a separate species, Homo ergaster, which differs from the Asian H. erectus fossils in some details of the skull . Monica Geller : Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? Chandler Bing : You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired. Monica Geller : I'll put a pillowcase over my head. Chandler Bing : You're on! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : What's up? Phoebe Buffay : Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want... Ross Geller : ... finally... Phoebe Buffay : Is that Ross? Monica Geller : Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls. Phoebe Buffay : Sounds like he's with someone. Chandler Bing : He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps. Monica Geller : Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him. Charlie Wheeler : Ooh... Dr. Geller! Ross Geller : God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that. Monica Geller : Oh my God, that's Charlie! Chandler Bing : She's cheating on Joey with Ross! Phoebe Buffay : Oh that tart... floozy... giant... Monica Geller : I'm not sure about this. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business. Monica Geller : No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend. Rachel Green : Ooh... I love Barbados! Joey Tribbiani : Ooh... I can't believe I'm kissing you. I'm kissing Rachel! Rachel Green : I know, I'm her! Phoebe Buffay : Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Get over here! Rachel Green : ooh... Chandler Bing : Wow! Monica Geller : Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are! Monica Geller : Thank you. Rachel Green : Hey, you know, before you said that nothing could happen between us? What changed? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie... Rachel Green : What? Ross and Charlie? Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk? Monica Geller : I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey? Chandler Bing : How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No-one is manning that wall! Monica Geller : I'm on it! Chandler Bing : Anything? Monica Geller : I think I hear curtains closing... Phoebe Buffay : We've got shoes being kicked off over here. Monica Geller : Bedsprings, unmistakable! Chandler Bing : You do realise that's your brother? Monica Geller : Not until you said it. Somebody switch! Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with. Chandler Bing : That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al. Monica Geller : Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon. Chandler Bing : Okay Buckwheat! Phoebe Buffay : You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! Ross Geller : Weh...*sigh* Charlie Wheeler : uhm... Is everything okay? Ross Geller : Yeah, It's just... I don't think I can do this... Charlie Wheeler : Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just... Ross Geller : No, NO! Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it. Charlie Wheeler : I uhm... I completely understand. Ross Geller : Alright, I'm gonna go find them... I just need a... need a before I can... you know. Grandma... grandma... grandma... Okay, I see you later. Charlie Wheeler : Okay... Phoebe Buffay : That's the door. He's gone... Chandler Bing : And she's... turning on the TV... and watching... Miss Congeniality! Monica Geller : Honey, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well! Ross Geller : Hey, what are you guys doing? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... Monica Geller : Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! Chandler Bing : Bye! Ross Geller : Okay, uhm... Hey, you guys seen Joey anywhere? Chandler Bing : He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... Ross Geller : Well, if you see him could you please tell him I'm looking for him? Chandler Bing : You got it! Ross Geller : Thanks! Thank you! Monica Geller : Other wall, people! Other wall! Ross Geller : Rach, you there? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do? Rachel Green : Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. That's not nonchalant! Joey Tribbiani : No idea what it means. Rachel Green : Oh... okay, just hide! Ross Geller : Rach? Rachel Green : Coming! Try under the bed, try under the bed! Rachel Green : There's no room under the bed. Ross Geller : Is everything okay? Rachel Green : Yeah... Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hi... Ross Geller : You know where Joey is? Rachel Green : ...I really don't... Ross Geller : Can I talk to you for a minute? Rachel Green : Yeah, sure... Joey Tribbiani : I don't believe this... Have you guys been... Phoebe Buffay : Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall. Ross Geller : And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me. Rachel Green : Uh-huh... right... yeah... Ross Geller : And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her. Rachel Green : Oh, I know... I know it's been really hard for you. Ross Geller : Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be? Rachel Green : That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say. Ross Geller : You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace. Rachel Green : You would think! Rachel Green : Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Is he gone? Rachel Green : How are you doing this? Joey Tribbiani : Pssst... Rachel Green : How... wha... Hey! What are you... What is this? Have you guys been listening this entire time? Chandler Bing : YE-AH! Phoebe Buffay : Now, what is this? Rachel Green : Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross? Joey Tribbiani : Well, he's with Charlie now. Monica Geller : Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you? Joey Tribbiani : You're a pain in my ass, Geller! Rachel Green : All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it... Chandler Bing : Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you? Rachel Green : Sure... Chandler Bing : Enunciate! Rachel Green : Get out! Rachel Green : Are they right? Joey Tribbiani : Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross. Rachel Green : Yeah... Yeah, we can wait, we don't have to do anything tonight. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I think that'd be best... So, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off... Rachel Green : Although... Joey Tribbiani : I like although! Rachel Green : I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years... Joey Tribbiani : Six years? Wow... It's almost as long as highschool... Rachel Green : Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now. Joey Tribbiani : Absolutely! He's not thinking about you. Rachel Green : No... Joey Tribbiani : I'm thinking about you... Rachel Green : Yeah... Joey Tribbiani : Let's forget about Ross... Rachel Green : Forgotten. Joey Tribbiani : What's wrong? Rachel Green : Nothing... Ross Geller : Seriously... What is it? Rachel Green : Nothing... It's really... It's nothing... Come here, come here... Ross Geller : What's wrong? Rachel Green : Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head... Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe I can help. Rachel Green : Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... we really need to talk to Ross... Both : Yeah. Ross Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : You guys ready to go? Chandler Bing : Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing. Ross Geller : Dude! You're not taking your Bible? Chandler Bing : You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it? Ross Geller : Learn about Jesus... Ross Geller : Hey! Charlie Wheeler : So, did you talk to Joey? Ross Geller : Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane. Charlie Wheeler : Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller! Ross Geller : Stop it! Charlie Wheeler : PHD. Ross Geller : You're filthy! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, have you guys seen Monica? Ross Geller : Uh, actually I think she went to the salon. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright... Monica Geller : Check it out! Phoebe Buffay : Who's day just got better? CHANDLER! Chandler Bing : Hey!... aaaaaahhhh! Monica Geller : What do you think? Chandler Bing : I think.... I think I can see your scalp. Monica Geller : Don't you just love it? Ross Geller : Ye... Yeah... Yeah... You got shellfish in your head. Charlie Wheeler : It's so... something... You go girlfriend! Ross Geller : You've never said that in your life, have you? Charlie Wheeler : Not once. Ross Geller : I thought so. Monica Geller : And listen to this... Chandler Bing : What d'ya know... It's a treat for the eyes and the ears. Joey Tribbiani : Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up. Chandler Bing : Yeah, it's almost if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life. Joey Tribbiani : Look, does someone mind switching to sit with Charlie? Ross Geller : Oh, I uh, I mean, I... dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie. Joey Tribbiani : I understand... Ross Geller : No, I'll do it. Chandler Bing : Wish I could switch with someone. I really don't wanna sit with Allen Iverson over there. Phoebe Buffay : Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin... Mike Hannigan : You should be careful when checking your overhead bins, 'cause items may shift during... Phoebe Buffay : Aaah... you're not good at this... Mike Hannigan : You don't have to go home tonight, do you? Phoebe Buffay : No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right? Mike Hannigan : Oh... Phoebe Buffay : What? Mike Hannigan : Uhm... I can't do anything tonight. Phoebe Buffay : Why not? Mike Hannigan : I have a date. Phoebe Buffay : You have a... You have a date? With who? Mike Hannigan : Oh, it's... my girlfriend. Phoebe Buffay : You have... have a girlfriend? Mike Hannigan : Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone. Phoebe Buffay : For how long? Mike Hannigan : Three months. Phoebe Buffay : Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her? Mike Hannigan : I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay... good. You do that. And then when you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you. Mike Hannigan : Maybe I'll sign for it. Tear it open. Pull out the packing material... Phoebe Buffay : You know what, we're gonna have sex. Let's just leave it there. Ross Geller : Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free". Charlie Wheeler : Okay... Good luck. Rachel Green : Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him. Joey Tribbiani : I guess so. I'm just... really nervous. Rachel Green : Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh... Rachel Green : Still nervous? Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna get the lasagna. Ross Geller : Hey Rach... Rachel Green : Yeah! Ross Geller : Do you mind if I sit here for a sec.? Rachel Green : Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! Ross Geller : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Ross Geller : Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well... Joey Tribbiani : You kissed. Ross Geller : Wha... What? What would give you that idea? Joey Tribbiani : I saw you. Ross Geller : Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay. Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy. Ross Geller : Are you serious? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Now I have something... Ross Geller : I am speachless... I mean the fact that you would put my happiness first like that. I mean, you're an incredible friend, you know that? Joey Tribbiani : Oh... uh... look... before you... Ross Geller : No, I mean it. You are so loyal man, and selfless, and generous... Joey Tribbiani : I am those things, yeah. Ross Geller : You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff... Joey Tribbiani : Dude! Ross Geller : Hey, if there is ever, anything I can do for you... Joey Tribbiani : I can't think of anything. Ross Geller : Thanks! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Rachel Green : So hi! Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : So you eh, you talked to Joey? Ross Geller : Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk. Rachel Green : Oh! That's great! Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : Oh, so everything's okay? Ross Geller : Oh, no, it's great. It's great. He is... He is an amazing guy. Rachel Green : Ah... Well, obviously I think so too. Ross Geller : Well, I'm so excited about this. Rachel Green : Really? Excited? Ross Geller : Are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this... Rachel Green : Excuse me! You didn't tell him, did you? Joey Tribbiani : I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler. Rachel Green : Oh God! Alright, fine. You know what Joey, forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. Phoebe Buffay : Hi, Mike's place. Mike Hannigan : Hey, it's Mike. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, that was fast. Mike Hannigan : Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I. Mike Hannigan : One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table. Phoebe Buffay : Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound? Mike Hannigan : Anyway, I just wanna give you a heads up. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. Precious : Hi, I'm Precious, who are you? Phoebe Buffay : I... I'm Phoebe. Precious : Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe? Phoebe Buffay : Enchante. Monica Geller : Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... Ow! Chandler Bing : You go back to work tomorrow night, right? Monica Geller : Yeah! Chandler Bing : So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn? Monica Geller : Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. You like that, right? Chandler Bing : What are you singing? Monica Geller : It's "Bolero" from "10". Chandler Bing : It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, Here's The Thing The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them! Monica Geller : You what? You said you liked them. Chandler Bing : Did I? Let's refresh. I believe what I said was that I could see your scalp. Monica Geller : Fine, so you don't like them. Everybody else does. Chandler Bing : Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different. Monica Geller : You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... OUCH! Chandler Bing : Hit yourself in the tooth? Monica Geller : And the eye! Ross Geller : Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? Rachel Green : That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams. Ross Geller : Ooh hey, Emma, daddy has some presents for you okay? Okay? I want you to wait right here. Come here sweetie. Rachel Green : Aaah... Ross, actually there's something that I really need to talk to you about. Ross Geller : Okay, shoot! Rachel Green : Okay, uhm... alright, here's the deal. Ross Geller : OH NO! Rachel Green : What? What is it? Ross Geller : Oh, major shampoo explosion! Rachel Green : Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy. Ross Geller : Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? Rachel Green : Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying? Rachel Green : Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and... Ross Geller : Oh, not another one! Oh my G... And this is moisturiser. It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people? Rachel Green : Wow! Well, clearly this is not a good time. Ross Geller : Duh, you think? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off. Precious : I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on here. I mean, are you guys getting back together or something? Phoebe Buffay : Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie? Precious : My name is Precious. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours. Precious : I just can't believe this... Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I don't... Precious : Oh, why would he do this? I mean, what's wrong with me? Phoebe Buffay : Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you. Precious : I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Phoebe Buffay : Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, not a fan of the tough love. Precious : I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning. Phoebe Buffay : But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me... Precious : He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever. Phoebe Buffay : Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend. Precious : Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect. Precious : Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell. Phoebe Buffay : You're welcome! Chandler Bing : Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay? Monica Geller : Not really. Monica Geller : I have a problem. Chandler Bing : Really? What happened? Monica Geller : Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck. Chandler Bing : You can't move at all? Monica Geller : Oh, well, I can move... Chandler Bing : If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose? Monica Geller : I guess so... Chandler Bing : Some of these look a little frayed. Monica Geller : Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : So, did you err... did you tell Ross? Rachel Green : Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency. So I guess now it's your turn again. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. Rachel Green : Yeah, 'cause that's what we do. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together. Rachel Green : Okay, that sounds fair. It just means that once again we can't... Joey Tribbiani : I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals. Rachel Green : No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Good night! Rachel Green : Goo--ood night! Joey Tribbiani : Good night! Rachel Green : Seriously, good night! Joey Tribbiani : Stop saying good night. Rachel Green : Okay. Monica Geller : Look what I found in the drawer... And you said I'd never wear this... Chandler Bing : Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me? Monica Geller : Sure, what do you have in mind? Chandler Bing : I think you know. Monica Geller : Really? I don't really feel like it. Chandler Bing : This is what I want to do. Monica Geller : Okay, I just don't get why you like it so much. Chandler Bing : She's an FBI agent, posing as a beauty contestant. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay? Rachel Green : We weren't doing anything! Joey Tribbiani : Rach, he just saw us. Rachel Green : Shhh. Joey Tribbiani : But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss. Rachel Green : No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, chill! Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie. Rachel Green : Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill. Joey Tribbiani : Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but.. Rachel Green : We feel so terrible about this, Ross. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but it did happen, so... Joey Tribbiani : Ross? Rachel Green : Ross? Can we just close the door? Rachel Green : Ross, say something. Anything. Ross Geller : So you two are..? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : And have you .. ed? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! Rachel Green : No, no, no! Ross Geller : But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..? Joey Tribbiani : Probably. Joey Tribbiani : No, no! Rachel Green : Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts. Ross Geller : I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts? Rachel Green : No, but you know what I mean. Ross Geller : Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. I'm fine! Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Absolutely. I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this. Joey Tribbiani : Ross.. Ross Geller : It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do? Rachel Green : Calm ourselves? Ross Geller : No. We should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!! Joey Tribbiani : Look, don't you think that will be a little weird? Ross Geller : Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! Joey Tribbiani : I do like fajitas. Monica Geller : God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives. Chandler Bing : There's a hair in my coffee. Phoebe Buffay : Hey guys! Monica Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets. Chandler Bing : You know, it's funny. Every time you say "triplets," I immediately think of three hot blonde 19-year olds. Monica Geller : That's sweet. Drink your hair. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what's all this stuff? Monica Geller : Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one! Monica Geller : That's not really how it works. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how does it work? Monica Geller : I don't know! Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you. Monica Geller : Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great? Frank Buffay Jr. : Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. When we're in a public place, there are certain rules. Frank Buffay Jr. : That's not what we talked about!! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Frank Buffay Jr. : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Good to see you. Frank Buffay Jr. : Good to see you, too. Monica Geller : Hi Frank. Frank Buffay Jr. : Hi, how you doin'? Monica Geller : Oh, my goodness, they've all gotten so big! Monica Geller : Which one is which again? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him. Monica Geller : "Willing to adopt triplets?" No! Joey Tribbiani : Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date. Rachel Green : Well, what would we be doing? Joey Tribbiani : I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home... Rachel Green : Feel me up? Joey Tribbiani : In a carriage! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, Charlie! Rachel Green : Hey. Charlie Wheeler : Hi, hi. So.. Dreading this? Rachel Green : Oh, you bet. Joey Tribbiani : So, did you bring a little something for Ross? Charlie Wheeler : Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Oh, thanks. Charlie Wheeler : And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out.. Ross Geller : I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! Hi Joey. And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. Come, please come in. Come in. Rachel Green : Okay, well, we brought you some wine. Ross Geller : Oh! That is so thoughtful. She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, actually, that's.. Ross Geller : Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!! Charlie Wheeler : Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little... Ross Geller : What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine? Joey Tribbiani : Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink. Ross Geller : You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again. Phoebe Buffay : Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute. Frank Buffay Jr. : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing.. Frank Buffay Jr. : I haven't slept in four years! Phoebe Buffay : That's a, that's a long time. Frank Buffay Jr. : You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area. Frank Buffay Jr. : Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No. Phoebe Buffay : What? Frank Buffay Jr. : No, I can't. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them! Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, no! I would never do that. No. I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one. Phoebe Buffay : What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one? Monica Geller : Thank you so much for seeing us. Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys. Colleen : Oh, please, we're happy to help. Bill : We went through the same thing when we were adopting. Chandler Bing : So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh? Chandler Bing : I mean, you have a lovely home. Monica Geller : Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us. Colleen : Well, actually, I think this might help. Colleen : It's pretty much all the information you need. Monica Geller : Oh my god! Colleen : Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced, and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back. Monica Geller : Thank you. I think I just had a tiny orgasm. Bill : I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us. Chandler Bing : That's great. Can I see the book? Chandler Bing : You want me to wash my hands first, don't you? Monica Geller : It's.. It's just so pretty and white. Colleen : The bathroom is down the hall, to your left. Colleen : I would have told him to do it too. Monica Geller : Can I adopt you? Chandler Bing : Hey, you must be Owen. Owen : Yeah. Chandler Bing : I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too. Owen : You were? Chandler Bing : Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother. Owen : Huh? Chandler Bing : You know how to use a compass? Owen : I have a badge in it. Chandler Bing : You do? That's fantastic! Owen : You wanna see it? Chandler Bing : I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you. Owen : What?!? Chandler Bing : What? Owen : I'm adopted? Chandler Bing : I got nothing. Ross Geller : The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood. Rachel Green : Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some. Ross Geller : Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready? Ross Geller : I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. There's no weirdness, no tension. Rachel Green : No awareness. Ross Geller : We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go? Ross Geller : My fajitas!! Rachel Green : Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic. Charlie Wheeler : Oh, I'm sorry, have I made this evening uncomfortable? Ross Geller : Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!! Rachel Green : Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on! Ross Geller : That is gonna hurt tomorrow! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we? Frank Buffay Jr. : No, of course we're not. Phoebe Buffay : Insane. Frank Buffay Jr. : I know. Phoebe Buffay : Alice would never go for it, right? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, I don't know, she's pretty tired, too, I think we've got her onboard. Phoebe Buffay : Well, just you know, for argument's sake, you know, hypothetically. Which one would you be willing to give up? Frank Buffay Jr. : Huh. Phoebe Buffay : Frank Jr.Jr.? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh. Frank Buffay Jr. : What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny. Phoebe Buffay : Well, alright, that's fine. What about Leslie? Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, so that leaves Chandler. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, no, no, you can't have Chandler, no. No, no. She's my little genius. I got big hopes for her. She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor.. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids. Frank Buffay Jr. : Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there. Frank Buffay Jr. : How about tomorrow? Phoebe Buffay : Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together. Frank Buffay Jr. : You'd do that for us? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for. Frank Jr. : Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up! Chandler Bing : Where are Bill and Colleen? Monica Geller : They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are? Chandler Bing : We have to leave!! Monica Geller : Why? What did you do in the bathroom? Chandler Bing : I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him. Monica Geller : Oh my god, where's my purse? No, you know what? I can replace everything in there. Get that binder, and let's go! Colleen : Hey. Bill : Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen. Colleen : I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet. Chandler Bing : But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows? Owen : I'm adopted?! Chandler Bing : See? Intuitive! Bill : What? Where did you hear that? Owen : He told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell. Chandler Bing : Which technically now you should give back! Colleen : You told him he's adopted? Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real." Owen : He isn't?! Chandler Bing : We have to get out of here, baby! Ross Geller : Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey. Rachel Green : Ooy. Ross Geller : And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love? Rachel Green : Oh my god, are we supposed to answer? Ross Geller : O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, are you okay? Ross Geller : Totally. Rachel Green : Ross, you don't seem okay. Ross Geller : I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan. Charlie Wheeler : Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off. Ross Geller : No! Charlie Wheeler : I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely. Ross Geller : Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel. Charlie Wheeler : You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay? Ross Geller : Okay. Charlie Wheeler : Alright. Charlie Wheeler : God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so.. Rachel Green : Oh, that's okay, girls tend not to like me. Charlie Wheeler : Bye. Ross Geller : Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed! Rachel Green : You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too. Ross Geller : Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone. Rachel Green : No, no, it's just that it's getting late... Ross Geller : Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good. Ross Geller : I don't even know what that's for. Joey Tribbiani : You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay. Rachel Green : Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I'll see you in the morning. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this. Joey Tribbiani : It doesn't look good, does it? Joey Tribbiani : Morning. Here you go. Ross Geller : Thanks. Did you stay here all night? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Ross Geller : So you took off my pants and shoes? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen. Ross Geller : What do you mean? Joey Tribbiani : Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly.. Ross Geller : Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine! Joey Tribbiani : It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel. Ross Geller : Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long? Joey Tribbiani : That's what I hear, yeah. Ross Geller : This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel? Joey Tribbiani : Come on, I mean, you know me, you know... Ross Geller : Joey. Joey Tribbiani : I'm crazy about her. Ross Geller : And she feels the same way? Joey Tribbiani : I think so. Ross Geller : Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it. Ross Geller : No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm sure. Joey Tribbiani : And we're okay? Monica Geller : Hey, Phoebs. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Monica Geller : Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us. Chandler Bing : Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Still, he had to find out sometime. Chandler Bing : Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them? Chandler Bing : I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. Chandler Bing : So, you and Rachel tonight, huh? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. It's actually our first official date. Chandler Bing : Wow! So tonight may be the night! You're nervous? Joey Tribbiani : Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at. Chandler Bing : What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing. Joey Tribbiani : It's OK! Chandler Bing : How can you be so confident? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I... I know exactly what I'm gonna do! Chandler Bing : Really? Like you have a routine? Joey Tribbiani : No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness. Chandler Bing : Really? Joey Tribbiani : No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh. Chandler Bing : You mean like this? Joey Tribbiani : NO! Not like that, no no. No, like this. Chandler Bing : Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. Joey Tribbiani : More foosball? Chandler Bing : ...and beer!! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey sweetie! Ross Geller : WOW! Chandler Bing : Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs! Ross Geller : I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan? Chandler Bing : She went on one of those spray-on tan places. Ross Geller : Eh, you got a spray-on tan? Monica Geller : Chandler gets pedicures! Ross Geller : Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators? Chandler Bing : Why...why? Ross Geller : Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one! Chandler Bing : Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off. Ross Geller : So, do you get colours or just French tips? Monica Geller : There. Here's their card. Ross Geller : Thanks. Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... florist. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey Pheebs! Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town. Monica Geller : I know, Amanda! Ah! She called me too! She's the worst! Chandler Bing : Who's Amanda? Monica Geller : She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!" Chandler Bing : Are you trying to do a British accent? Monica Geller : Chandler gets pedicures! Chandler Bing : Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect? Phoebe Buffay : You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!" Monica Geller : I know, and she's always bragging about all the famous people she's met. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know! "Oh...I slept with Billy Joel". All right, who hasn't? Monica Geller : Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!! Phoebe Buffay : Ugh, Let's just cut her out! Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point! Monica Geller : Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! Have you ever done that? Chandler Bing : No, had it done to me though. Feels good ! Assistant : Alright Mr. Geller! Right this way! So, how dark do you wanna be? We have one, two or three. Ross Geller : Well... I like how you look, what are you? Assistant : Puerto Rican. Ross Geller : Two, I think a two. Assistant : You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it? Ross Geller : Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat. Assistant : Wow, you catch on quick. Ross Geller : Well, I have a PhD, so... Ross Geller : One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis... WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! Ross Geller : You sprayed my front twice! Assistant : You've never turned? Ross Geller : No, I barely even got to three Mississippi. Assistant : Mississippi? I said count to five'! Ross Geller : Mississippilesly? Well, how bad is it? Assistant : Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours. Ross Geller : So, how dark is it gonna get? Assistant : You got sprayed with two two' s and... Ross Geller : I'm a four? Assistant : Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out. Ross Geller : Really! Assistant : You might wanna get back in there. Ross Geller : Ok! Ross Geller : Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? Ah, oh, ah! Ah! The same thing happened again! Assistant : You got two more twos? Ross Geller : I'm an eight! Rachel Green : Thanks for dinner. Joey Tribbiani : I thought you paid. Ha, guess we won't be going back there! Rachel Green : So. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch? Rachel Green : I say 'cheesy line', but ok. Joey Tribbiani : What's the matter? Rachel Green : I am sorry, I don't know, I am sorry, I don't know why I did that! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel Green : Ok, so sorry. Rachel Green : I am sorry! Again... I don't know, I don't know what happened, I must be nervous! Joey Tribbiani : I don't get it, Chandler loved it! Rachel Green : Ok, ok, ok. I promise, I promise, I promise, I won't do it again. I really do. I promise. This is gonna be great. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, was that good for you? Monica Geller : No, no, don't get it. Let the machine pick up. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah. Could be Rachel asking if someone could baby-sit again. Monica Geller : It could be Amanda! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Hello Monica. It's Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat! Monica Geller : You're from Yonkers! Your last name is Buffo-Martisis! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Let's see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, don't hold thy breath! Chandler Bing : Hello? Is someone on the line? Amanda Buffamonteezi : Yes, I was looking for Monica. Chandler Bing : Hang on, she's right here. Someone's on the phone, for ya. Monica Geller : We weren't picking up, it's Amanda! Chandler Bing : I get pedicures! Monica Geller : Hi Amanda! Actually now... it's... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then! Phoebe Buffay : Why, why, why didn't you just say no! Monica Geller : Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn't say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people! Phoebe Buffay : Fine, fine! You would not hold up well under torture! Monica Geller : And you would? Phoebe Buffay : I did! Joey Tribbiani : Rach, you sure you wanna do this? Rachel Green : Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it's just a little weird, it's you, and it's me, it's just gonna take some getting used to. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Well, how, how can we make it easier? Rachel Green : Ok, let's work from the top down! Just work the bra, Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, yeah, got it. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : This thing welded shut?! Rachel Green : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing. Rachel Green : Oh! Rachel Green : Ow! Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Rachel Green : Well this is romantic! Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry! This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra! Rachel Green : It's a standard issue bra clasp! Joey Tribbiani : Then I blame you! Yeah! That's right! You threw me off with all your slapping! Rachel Green : Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra? Joey Tribbiani : NAH! I don't have another level!! Chandler Bing : Hold on! There is something different. Ross Geller : I went to that tanning place your wife suggested. Chandler Bing : Was that place... The Sun? Ross Geller : Oh! And it gets worse! Chandler Bing : Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself! Monica Geller : How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!! Ross Geller : How do you count to five? Monica Geller : One Two Three... Ross Geller : Damnit! Rachel Green : oooh! Oh oh! Ross Geller : I Know! Rachel Green : oh oh! What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic? Chandler Bing : How was your date with Joey? Rachel Green : Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away! Chandler Bing : You didn't like that? Rachel Green : Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra! Monica Geller : Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open. Rachel Green : I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me. Monica Geller : Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing? You got through that. Rachel Green : Ok, that's true. That's true, we can do this. You're right, you're right, we can do this. We're just gonna power through! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second . Rachel Green : No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through . Monica Geller : Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open! Chandler Bing : You don't know! Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Is Amanda here yet? Phoebe Buffay : No. Monica Geller : Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here? Monica Geller : Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding, I love it! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Monica Geller : Hi! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Hi! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Hello! Amanda Buffamonteezi : It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs I don't exercise at all! Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married! Monica Geller : Yeah! Yeah! His name is Chandler and... Amanda Buffamonteezi : Smell my neck! It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent! Phoebe Buffay : Musty! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Oh! Gosh! This is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again! Monica Geller : When were we not friends? Amanda Buffamonteezi : Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel . Monica Geller : Ehm, we were friends in 1992. Amanda Buffamonteezi : No I distinctly remember you were dodging her calls and trying to avoid seeing her. Monica Geller : You were going to cut me out? Phoebe Buffay : Well...kinda. Monica Geller : Oh My God! Amanda Buffamonteezi : Oh! Bugger. Should I not have said that? I feel like a perfect arse! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah well, in America you're just an "ass". Monica Geller : Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? Oh my God, are you alright? Yeah, I'll be right there. I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God. Was Mike with him? Monica Geller : Nope! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hey! Got champagne? Joey Tribbiani : Yes ma'am, ready to Power through! Rachel Green : Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through ... Joey Tribbiani : Uh! Rachel Green : Ok Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. Alright! Lets do it! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, you're scaring me a little bit. Rachel Green : Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! Ok. Aha! You like that huh? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! yeah! Rachel Green : You like that? Let's take this into high gear. Joey Tribbiani : uh uh! Rachel Green : Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it! Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters! Rachel Green : What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok? Joey Tribbiani : Soldier down! Monica Geller : We are not friends with Phoebe anymore. Chandler Bing : If she asks, I protested a little, but ok! Phoebe Buffay : Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute? Monica Geller : I have nothing to say to you. Amanda Buffamonteezi : Wow, my flat is twice this size! Phoebe Buffay : Please, Monica? In the hall? Amanda Buffamonteezi : Ooh, that accident must have been terrible. You look positively ghastly. Chandler Bing : Well, aren't you a treat. Monica Geller : I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why? Phoebe Buffay : It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill. Monica Geller : I'm still all those things! Phoebe Buffay : You're also so generous and kind and scrappy! Monica Geller : I am scrappy. Phoebe Buffay : Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in. Monica Geller : It's because I'm scrappy. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you are. And I'm so glad that you fought your way back in, because I don't know what I would do without you. Monica Geller : I won't know what I would do without you. Monica Geller : Well, I guess we should go back in. When you gave me another chance, I guess we should do the same for Amanda. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I guess you're right. Amanda Buffamonteezi : Can you believe it. I've never had any professional dance training. Glenda : Now, let me explain how this works. You go into the booth, and... Ross Geller : I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two's... and I want them all on my back. Glenda : Okay... Ross Geller : Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it? Ross Geller : Which... which... which... Which one is it? Ross Geller : OH! SON OF A BITCH! Rachel Green : What is the matter with us? Joey Tribbiani : Well, I know what's the matter with me. Rachel Green : No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult? Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. Chandler Bing : That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that? Chandler Bing : Kinda... you know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys... Rachel Green : No, no, no... No, I mean... se-x-u-ally... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong? Chandler Bing : Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time. Chandler Bing : I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy. Rachel Green : Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah... Absolutely. I mean, just because something's difficult doesn't mean that you quit. Rachel Green : Right, totally. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, so we just keep trying and trying until we... do it. Rachel Green : Yeah, and if doesn't work, then we'll be just one of those couples that never have sex. Joey Tribbiani : That's a... pla-an. Joey Tribbiani : Wow... I did not see this coming. Rachel Green : I know. Joey Tribbiani : I don't get it. I mean, I was so sure this was what I wanted. Rachel Green : Hmmm... Me too... Rachel Green : I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it? Joey Tribbiani : I guess they weren't as good friends as we are. Rachel Green : Aah... I bet you're right. Joey Tribbiani : So... Rachel Green : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : I love ya. Rachel Green : Love you too... Alright, I'm going to bed. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, me too. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh, yeah, I'm not going anywhere for a while. Chandler Bing : Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in. Ross Geller : Go away! I don't want to see anybody. Chandler Bing : I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in. Ross Geller : Really? Did you count Mississipily? Ross Geller : Dude, you're not tanned. Chandler Bing : No, I just had to get a picture of this. Chandler Bing : I see you later! end. Monica Geller : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Chandler Bing : Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend. Monica Geller : That place in Vermont? You can take a hint! Rachel Green : Wait, you can't go away this weekend! It's Emma's birthday! Ross Geller : Yeah! Rachel Green : We're having a party. Monica Geller : Well, can't you just have the party when we get back? Ross Geller : No. Rachel Green : No, that day... that won't be her real birthday! Chandler Bing : Gee if only she were one and had no idea what the hell a birthday was! Ross Geller : C'mon you guys, this is really important to us. Monica Geller : Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally. Chandler Bing : There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim... Rachel Green : Well, can't you just go to Vermont the next day? Ross Geller : Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister. Rachel Green : And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle! Monica Geller : All right, we'll stay. We can just drive up after the party. Chandler Bing : Fine, but if we end up not doing this Maxim thing because of this party... Monica Geller : Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that! Rachel Green : You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all. Phoebe Buffay : Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food! Ross Geller : Hey guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video. Rachel Green : Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, COOL!! Wow, it's like a time capsule! Ross Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people! Ross Geller : That's the hope! So, is Emma awake yet? Rachel Green : Oh no, it's still nap time. But she'll be up soon. Ross Geller : Ah, and where is Joey? Rachel Green : I said it's still nap time. Ross Geller : Hey, there is uncle Joey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday! Joey Tribbiani : 18, uh? Ross Geller : Joey, NO! Joey Tribbiani : What, what!? it's for her hot friends! Ross Geller : When they see this you'll be 52! Joey Tribbiani : And starting to think about settling down! Rachel Green : Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on? Joey Tribbiani : I'd love to! Yeah! Joey Tribbiani : We were supposed to bring presents? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! I wrote Emma a song. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know? Phoebe Buffay : Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! Yeah... that's a funny cup! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey hey! Where's the birthday girl? Rachel Green : Oh, she's still napping. Chandler Bing : Oh, sure, she was probably up all night, excited about the party she knows is happening. Rachel Green : Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again. Monica Geller : All right... you're right. We're sorry. Now let's wake up Emma and get the fun time started! Rachel Green : No really, she didn't sleep well last night, so we can't wake her up. Monica Geller : Are you freaking kidding me, Green? Jack Geller : HI! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : So glad you came! Jack Geller : I can't believe Emma is already one! Judy Geller : I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross Geller : There's something you didn't know about your dad! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that. Jack Geller : Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us! Jack Geller : Which one are you? Monica Geller : I can't believe Emma is still asleep! Chandler Bing : I know, what are we gonna do? Monica Geller : I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up! Chandler Bing : I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica! Joey Tribbiani : Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe Buffay : So you're gonna... hit on her? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! My talents as an actor! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books! Phoebe Buffay : Or you could stick a fork in an apple! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I think Emma might like it! Rachel Green : Oh! Emma might like what? Joey Tribbiani : Um, my present! Rachel Green : What did you get her? Joey Tribbiani : Actually we prepared performances. Phoebe Buffay : Separate performances. Joey Tribbiani : But equally real! Rachel Green : Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now? Phoebe Buffay : Sure, yeah! Joey Tribbiani : O K. Rachel Green : All right, let's get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us. Ross Geller : Oh, great! Phoebe Buffay : Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting! Rachel Green : So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us? Joey Tribbiani : I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma's books. Rachel Green : Oh, ok, which one? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, why, it's a... one of her favorites, uh, "Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression" eesh! "Love you forever". Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be". . And while he rocked her, he sang "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be". Rachel Green : Wow! That was amazing! Ross Geller : Thank you so much for that gift! Chandler Bing : I was not ready for this today! Ross Geller : Amazing... amazing. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe, I'm sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well. Phoebe Buffay : That's right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there's no greater gift, than the gift of music. Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma! Rachel Green : Is that it? Phoebe Buffay : No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading . "Sex and the single mother. Finding your G-spot. #ALL# : No, no, no, no, no! Judy Geller : Hello Emma. Happy eighteenth birthday. Jack Geller : Right now that seems so far away, seventeen years. Judy Geller : Yes, you'll be all grown up by then. We'll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here. Jack Geller : That's true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma! Judy Geller : After all, my parents died very young. Jack Geller : And my cholesterol's off the charts! Judy Geller : Remember, Emma, heart disease kills women too! Ross Geller : Ok, cut! Great. That was... that was just... yeah! Rachel Green : Ross, um, don't forget to get a shot of Emma's cake. It's in a box in the fridge. Ross Geller : Sure. Rachel Green : Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino's. Monica Geller : Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid. Rachel Green : Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they'll copy it in icing! Monica Geller : Oh, did you do a picture of Emma? Rachel Green : Yes! On a cake shaped like a bunny. Ross Geller : Uh, Rach? Does this bakery by any chance also bake erotic cakes? Say for bachelorette parties? Rachel Green : Ross, what are you talking about? oh! Oh my God! They put my baby's face on a penis! Phoebe Buffay : oh! Now it's a party! Rachel Green : Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself! Joey Tribbiani : Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious? Judy Geller : Jack, look at this. Jack Geller : I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny! Ross Geller : I am this close to tugging on my testicles again. Rachel Green : No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter's birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now! Ross Geller : Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby's face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. . That is a weird sentence! Rachel Green : Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... Joey, don't touch it!! Joey Tribbiani : I'm so confused! Rachel Green : Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts! Chandler Bing : To be fair this one does have nuts. Ross Geller : Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake. Monica Geller : Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key! Ross Geller : Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? Ok! Chandler Bing : Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap? Monica Geller : We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years! Chandler Bing : We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. Monica Geller : Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour. Phoebe Buffay : And you know, I have a massage client soon. Ross Geller : You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh? Monica Geller : Alright, 5 more minutes. Ross Geller : Hello? Oh no! What happened? Ok ok, where are you? . Ok, I'll be right there. Chandler Bing : Was that Emma? Is she up? Ross Geller : No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her. Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you're leaving, I'm definitely gonna go. Monica Geller : No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us We've been complaining the longest! Ross Geller : No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone? Chandler Bing : I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday! Ross Geller : Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! Joey Tribbiani : Got it! Hey hey hey! Where do you think you're going? Chandler Bing : To the bathroom! Joey Tribbiani : Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li... Wait a minute, there is a window in there! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! Chandler Bing : What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! Joey Tribbiani : Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it. Phoebe Buffay : No, it did not. Joey Tribbiani : No. Judy Geller : Well, we better get going, it's late. Jack's not allowed to drive at night anymore. He has trouble staying in his lane. Jack Geller : Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime. Judy Geller : Anyway, it was lovely seeing you. Joey Tribbiani : Ok! Judy Geller : Bye... Bye dear. Joey Tribbiani : Nighty-night! Judy Geller : Nighty-night! Joey Tribbiani : Bye, bye. Phoebe Buffay : Joey? How could you just let them leave? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm not gonna mess with Jack, he's a great man, he fought for our country. Monica Geller : No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. Chandler Bing : You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I forgot you used to live here! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Estelle Leonard : Joey! It's Estelle! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Estelle Leonard : So, how did your audition go today? Joey Tribbiani : What audition? Estelle Leonard : The one I told you about last week? Joey Tribbiani : What? You never said anything about an audition! Estelle Leonard : Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared. Joey Tribbiani : A monologue? I don't have.. I got it. Aah! so... I'm gonna take off! Phoebe Buffay : Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute! Monica Geller : Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now! Phoebe Buffay : Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go! Monica Geller : No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying. Joey Tribbiani : Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first. Monica Geller : Ok, ten. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else? Phoebe Buffay : No, lets just draw straws. Joey Tribbiani : Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the.. Chandler Bing : I'm begging you stop. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Monica Geller : Ok, how about this: We got wind up toys for Emma for her birthday. We can make them race, and whoever comes in last, stays! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah!! Let's do that! Chandler Bing : That sounds more fun than the thing we were going to do in Vermont! Monica Geller : Everybody get your toys! Phoebe Buffay : Ok! I want the dolphin! Chandler Bing : Thats a bear. Phoebe Buffay : I'm too excited! Monica Geller : Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays! Joey Tribbiani : Ok, ladies and gentlemen, wind your toys! Chandler Bing : Ok, on your mark... Get set... GO!!! Phoebe Buffay : Go! Go! Joey Tribbiani : Come on robot! Monica Geller : What are you barking at? Monica Geller : Wha... How the hell is that gonna help? Chandler Bing : I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do? Joey Tribbiani : Way to go robot! Phoebe Buffay : Good job Alan! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, good race you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, see you later! Monica Geller : No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically... Chandler Bing : They left. Rachel Green : No, there isn't time to go to the bakery. We're just gonna come home... Everybody left? Alright, well just tell Emma we're gonna be there as soon as we can. Bye... Ross Geller : RACHEL! Rachel Green : OOH! God! Sorry! Ross Geller : I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver. Rachel Green : Emma's awake. Ross Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake. Ross Geller : Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. Rachel Green : Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me. Ross Geller : Rach, she's not going to remember this. Rachel Green : I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! They have to learn! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : It's not bad. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that? Ross Geller : Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears. Rachel Green : Well, I'm very impressed. Ross Geller : Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures. Monica Geller : Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry, is this a game for Emma or for Monica? Monica Geller : Game? Chandler Bing : Emma, you even know it's your birthday today? You're one! One-year-old, that's little. Chandler Bing : Ooh! That's my girl! Monica Geller : That's how old you are. Chandler Bing : Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom? Monica Geller : Ooh, I want one... Chandler Bing : Me too... Chandler Bing : There's no-one around. Why don't we just take this one? Monica Geller : ...and head to Canada! Chandler Bing : I was kidding. Monica Geller : I wasn't. Let's get going! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, are Ross and Rachel back? Chandler Bing : No, not yet. Phoebe Buffay : Oh good, I didn't miss the party. Monica Geller : What about your massage client? Phoebe Buffay : I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, if Ross and Rachel ask, I've been here the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME! Joey Tribbiani : I've been here the whole time! Ross Geller : Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs. Rachel Green : I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys! Chandler Bing : Hey, guys! Come on! You gotta see what Emma just did. Rachel Green : What? Chandler Bing : Emma, how old are you? How old are you today? Emma : Wo-ish. Rachel Green : Oh! Emma, that's right! You're that many! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Our daughter's a genius! Rach, this means... Rachel Green : NO, no science camp! Ross Geller : Damnit! I'll put a candle on the cake. Rachel Green : Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly! Monica Geller : Thanks! Ross Geller : Okay, here we go! Emma's first birthday cake... Well hey... well, blow out the candle. Come on Emma. Chandler Bing : Let's do it, come on! Ross Geller : What's wrong? Are you okay? Rachel Green : Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you made it into a bunny. Joey Tribbiani : What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis. Rachel Green : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay, you ready? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : A-a-and... record. Rachel Green : Okay. Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really... Phoebe Buffay : Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard! end. Rachel Green : You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie. Joey Tribbiani : Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time! Rachel Green : I've never given her a cookie. Have you? Joey Tribbiani : No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can! Monica Geller : Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us. Rachel Green : Of course, I'd be honored! Chandler Bing : Thanks! Monica Geller : Thank you! Joey Tribbiani : U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight. Chandler Bing : Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested. Monica Geller : Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words". Joey Tribbiani : Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!! Monica Geller : Clearly we were wrong. Joey Tribbiani : I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one. Monica Geller : You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..." Chandler Bing : So excited about your letter! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! #ALL# : Hey Phoebe! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Monica Geller : Wow! Don't you look nice?! Phoebe Buffay : Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary. Rachel Green : OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex... Phoebe Buffay : YEAH! Chandler Bing : So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game. Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed? Phoebe Buffay : Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room. Monica Geller : You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom! Chandler Bing : That's where people make number two!! Charlie Wheeler : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey... Charlie Wheeler : So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to... Ross Geller : Oh... Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers. Charlie Wheeler : Fine, it's fine... I'll just shower by myself... Ross Geller : B, B, B, B, B! Charlie Wheeler : Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue. Ross Geller : Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt. Ross Geller : Damnit! Amy Green : Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! I have to talk to you!! Ross Geller : Hi Amy! Amy Green : You're not Rachel. Ross Geller : Still sharp as a tack! Amy Green : Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie. Charlie Wheeler : Hi! Amy Green : Hi! Charlie Wheeler : Nice to meet you. Amy Green : H-Hi!! And you are...? Ross Geller : Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister! Amy Green : N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday? Ross Geller : Yes, yes, you did. Ross Geller : Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants! Rachel Green : Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! Wow! You remember Joey? Amy Green : Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy! Joey Tribbiani : That's right, yeah. Amy Green : You're not good! Joey Tribbiani : Always nice to meet a fan! Rachel Green : So now, what are you doing here? Amy Green : Well, I have huge news. Rachel Green : Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby! Amy Green : Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? Ross Geller : Ehm... Her name is Emma. Amy Green : Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier! Ross Geller : What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart! Amy Green : Hey, your English is getting better!! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated. Ross Geller : What... what you working on? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so... Ross Geller : Why don't you use your Thesaurus? Joey Tribbiani : What did I just say? Ross Geller : Watch. Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!! Rachel Green : God! Amy Green : So beautiful. Rachel Green : Oh, I know, isn't she? Amy Green : No, I was talking about your bedding. Rachel Green : All right. What's your news, Amy? Amy Green : Oh! Um... Well... I'm getting married. Rachel Green : What? Oh my God! To who? Amy Green : This guy! He has a killer apartment. Rachel Green : A-And?? Amy Green : A-And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room. Rachel Green : No, what's he like? Amy Green : Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark? Rachel Green : Yeah. Amy Green : It's his dad. Rachel Green : Huh... wow, so he's gotta be... Amy Green : Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there. Rachel Green : Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like... Amy Green : Myron. Hmm... I told you he was old! Rachel Green : Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn't love. Do you remember Barry? Amy Green : Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep. Rachel Green : Sometimes just nodding is ok. Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about! Amy Green : You're right, you're right! I'm gonna do it! Rachel Green : Ok. Amy Green : I'm gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right. Rachel Green : Ok, let's keep talking. Phoebe Buffay : Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. . Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they're in my seat. It's my anniversary. Here we are! . Can't believe it's been a whole year! Mike Hannigan : I know. This has been the best year... THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE! Phoebe Buffay : ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH! Mike Hannigan : I FEEL THE SAME WAY! Phoebe Buffay : YOU'RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY! Announcer : Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. Phoebe Buffay : Oh how lame... oh, it's so tacky, and impersonal. Mike Hannigan : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's the worst way to propose! Mike Hannigan : Excuse me... . Joey Tribbiani : Hey, finished my recommendation. Here. And I think you'll be very, very happy. It's the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn. Chandler Bing : I don't... uh... understand. Joey Tribbiani : Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya? Monica Geller : It doesn't make any sense. Joey Tribbiani : Of course it does! It's smart! I used the the-saurus! Chandler Bing : On every word? Joey Tribbiani : Yep! Monica Geller : Alright, what was this sentence originally? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, 'They are warm, nice, people with big hearts'. Chandler Bing : And that became 'they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude. Monica Geller : Hey Joey, I don't think we can use this. Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Monica Geller : Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani . Hey, why don't you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself! Chandler Bing : You know what? You don't need a thesaurus, just write from here, your full sized aortic pump. Rachel Green : Amy, hi! Amy Green : I took your advice, I left Myron. Rachel Green : Oh, good for you! Amy Green : I know! I'm Erin Brockovich! Rachel Green : Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you! Amy Green : Thank you! So, can I stay with you? Rachel Green : But Erin Brockovich had her own house. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, look who's back! Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS? Amy Green : Well, I'm staying with you guys! Joey Tribbiani : What? Amy Green : We're gonna be roomies! Come on! Joey Tribbiani : You slept out here? Rachel Green : Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling 'Myron, get off!' Joey Tribbiani : But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we're getting rid of her. Rachel Green : Joey, I can't do that! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don't need that kind of talk in my house! Rachel Green : Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she's difficult, but I think it's really good that she's here. Joey Tribbiani : 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she's gone? Rachel Green : No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Monica made us! Rachel Green : Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don't think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn't for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it's gonna take patience, but that's ok. Amy Green : Good morning. Joey Tribbiani : Yeaah. Rachel Green : Amy, that's what I was supposed to wear today, that's why I hung it on the door. Amy Green : Oh, sweety, you can't pull this off. Rachel Green : Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future. Amy Green : Oh, I can't, honey. I'm gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. I am not happy. Oh... sure you wanna eat that? Joey Tribbiani : I'M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT! Phoebe Buffay : Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever. Chandler Bing : I doubt that! Tell her about us last year. Monica Geller : Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song. Ross Geller : Seriously? Chandler Bing : Word! Phoebe Buffay : Well, mine was worse than that. Rachel Green : Well, what happened? Phoebe Buffay : We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing... Rachel Green : Oh, that is so tacky. Phoebe Buffay : Well, that's what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night! Monica Geller : Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose? Rachel Green : Phoebe, that's huge! Ross Geller : Well, do you wanna marry him? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don't think he's ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this! Chandler Bing : She's right! If I were a guy and... Did I just say if I were a guy..? Monica Geller : Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate? Monica Geller : I proposed to Chandler! Alright, moving on... Chandler Bing : Oh, I don't think it was desperate, I think it was amazing! Monica Geller : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Well, do you think I should propose? Rachel Green : I think it could be kind of great! Ross Geller : Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, ok, so how should I do it? Monica Geller : How about at a game, on the big screen? Rachel Green : Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? Monica Geller : What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two like that? Chandler Bing : Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think? Amy Green : Nana is on the phone. Rachel Green : Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!! Amy Green : She did? Who got her condo in Boca? Rachel Green : Hello? Oh, it's our nanny! Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today? Ross Geller : No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting? Rachel Green : Menstrual cramps. Ross Geller : I don't think that's what this is. Rachel Green : Can any of you watch Emma? Monica Geller : No, sorry sweety.. Phoebe Buffay : No, I've got work and then I'm proposing.. Rachel Green : Great, shoot, what are we gonna do? Amy Green : Well, I can do it. Rachel Green : Well, actually... Ross Geller : Well, can I talk to you for a sec.? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child. Rachel Green : Why not? Ross Geller : Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella! Rachel Green : Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name! Ross Geller : Fine, we'll call the next one Ella. Rachel Green : Wha... the next one? Ross Geller : Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby. Rachel Green : Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!! Ross Geller : I... I don't know.. Rachel Green : Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world? Amy Green : um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me... Rachel Green : Absolutely. Amy Green : Oh! Great! So how much does it pay? Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! How's the second draft of the letter coming? Joey Tribbiani : Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency. Monica Geller : You dropped it off? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Can we read it? Can you print out another copy? Joey Tribbiani : No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. Monica Geller : You hand-wrote it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! Monica Geller : Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds! Chandler Bing : It's ok, it's ok. You know what? I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. Monica Geller : Okay good. Chandler Bing : Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. . Monica Geller : Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store. Chandler Bing : They loved it. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter. Monica Geller : They thought Joey was a child? Chandler Bing : She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings. Amy Green : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey, what did you guys do today? Amy Green : Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi. Chandler Bing : That sounds like fun. Amy Green : Yeah, not really. Babies are dull. Rachel Green : Hey! Hi, how's my girl? Amy Green : I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready? Rachel Green : Yeah! Amy Green : Ta-daaa! Rachel Green : You pierced her ears!? Amy Green : Doesn't it make her nose look smaller? Rachel Green : You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me? Amy Green : Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been surprise, now would it? Chandler Bing : I think she looks cute. ... but I am wrong! Rachel Green : Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out. Amy Green : Why, did something happen to his falafel cart? Rachel Green : Ugh. Ross Geller : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hi Ross. Ross Geller : Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. . Rachel Green : Nah, I don't really want her to see. Ross Geller : Why not? Monica Geller : Because there are so many terrible sights in this world. Chandler Bing : Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat? Ross Geller : Come here Oh! There she is! Hi! Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Nothing. Ross Geller : Hi! What... . Please tell me those are clip-ons. Rachel Green : Oh, they're real! Ross Geller : Did she do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her! Rachel Green : I know, I know, and you were right Ross. You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again! Amy Green : Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt! Monica Geller : I'm a cool, fun aunt! Amy Green : O-Okay! Chandler Bing : Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects! Rachel Green : I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me? Amy Green : Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life. Rachel Green : Oh yeah? Since when? Amy Green : Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : That's not a thing! Amy Green : Well, it should be. I'm gonna help babies learn how to accessorize, what colors to wear, what clothes are slimming... Rachel Green : Babies don't care if they're slim. Amy Green : Enter Amy! Ross Geller : Amy, I ju... I just... I just wanna... Amy Green : What? What are you gonna do? Ross Geller : No more falafel for you! Mike Hannigan : Great game, huh? Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh, uhuh... Mike Hannigan : Why do you keep looking at the screen? Phoebe Buffay : I'm not. I'm praying. Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! Where... where are you going? Mike Hannigan : Going go to the bathroom. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think you should wait. Mike Hannigan : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients. Announcer : Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask. Phoebe Buffay : Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? Announcer : Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. Phoebe Buffay : That's not very enlightened! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, hey! Boo us? Boo you! Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... Okay, bye bye. She was nice! Rachel Green : Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out! Joey Tribbiani : Whoo-hoo! Amy Green : You're kicking me out? Rachel Green : You put holes in my baby's ears! Amy Green : Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl! Rachel Green : I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help. Amy Green : You know what? Ever since I got here, you have been nothing but negative. Rachel Green : Excuse me? Amy Green : You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws And suddenly I am the bad guy? Rachel Green : Joey, where are those bags? Joey Tribbiani : She has a lot of crap! Amy Green : You know what? When I moved in here I thought: This is gonna be so great. Just us sisters, back together again like when we were kids, except without that stupid Jill... Oh! Who has gotten fat by the way... Rachel Green : Seriously? Amy Green : hm-mmm... Mom said she gained like fifteen pounds. Rachel Green : Hips or thighs? Amy Green : Ass and face. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins. Amy Green : She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff. Rachel Green : Oh, I can give you that. Amy Green : You can? Rachel Green : Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are. Amy Green : Thank you. I've got to admit, Emma does look cute. Rachel Green : Did you just say Emma? Amy Green : Ugh, I'm sorry... Ella. Phoebe Buffay : That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls. Mike Hannigan : But please, let's just forget the whole thing. Phoebe Buffay : I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake. Phoebe Buffay : It's in the cake, isn't it? Mike Hannigan : Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? Phoebe Buffay : What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Mike Hannigan : No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Mike Hannigan : I'm gonna do this now. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Mike Hannigan : Phoebe, I... Phoebe Buffay : Wait! Oh wait! Oh no! Mike Hannigan : Ready? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Mike Hannigan : Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! Mike Hannigan : I love you! Phoebe Buffay : I love you more! Mike Hannigan : Not possible! She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls. Rachel Green : So how is the uhm... baby styling business going? Amy Green : Not that great. It's almost if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly. Rachel Green : That's shocking! Amy Green : Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! Hello-oo Ross! He's rude! Phoebe Buffay : Hey... #ALL# : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Pheebs, what's wrong? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... HUGE engagement ring! #ALL# : OH! Rachel Green : My God! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Congratulations! Wow!! Ross Geller : So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or did he cry? Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals! Phoebe Buffay : Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever. Joey Tribbiani : Well, hey! Well... Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... I wanna say Mike? To Phoebe and Mike! #ALL# : Whoo! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you! Oh, and I have something for you! Rachel Green : Mmh-mmh! Phoebe Buffay : It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated. Rachel Green : Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends? Phoebe Buffay : I would, but you're the last one. Rachel Green : GIVE ME THE BOOK! Pablo Diaz, Brady Smith, huh, "Guy-in-van"? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my first love! Rachel Green : Oh! Monica Geller : What does the red X next to Bob Greenmore's name mean? Phoebe Buffay : Dead. Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach. Chandler Bing : Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it. Rachel Green : Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band? Phoebe Buffay : Oh yes, they are. Chandler Bing : Hey honey! Joey Tribbiani : Hi sweetie! Chandler Bing : Is Monica not here? Joey Tribbiani : No. Chandler Bing : Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial! Joey Tribbiani : Cool! Chandler Bing : Yeah, and I don't wanna brag but a lot of the ideas were mine! Hell, you weren't there? All the ideas were mine!!! Joey Tribbiani : That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it? Chandler Bing : Oh... I don't know, I really don't think you're right for the part. Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? I'm old! I'm tired! Hey, I'm hot I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do? Chandler Bing : First of all. Bravo. Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this. The part calls for a stuffy college professor. Joey Tribbiani : I can do that! "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product? Chandler Bing : Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions? Joey Tribbiani : I'm cold! Ross Geller : Hey! Charlie Wheeler : Hey! Ross Geller : Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you. Charlie Wheeler : Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations! Ross Geller : Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five! Charlie Wheeler : Wow, that's great! So, tell me about the grant! Ross Geller : Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work! Charlie Wheeler : Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant? Ross Geller : Yeah. Why? Charlie Wheeler : Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant. Ross Geller : Your ex-boyfriend? Charlie Wheeler : Yeah. Ross Geller : So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed! Charlie Wheeler : No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you. Ross Geller : Well, if you think it would help. Charlie Wheeler : Yes, absolutely. I'll call him. Ross Geller : Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes? Charlie Wheeler : Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish. Ross Geller : We'll see how dinner goes. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey, you wanna go to see a movie? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in. Monica Geller : Oh, right. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Monica Geller : Oh, well. Now that I'm here I might as well help you with the cleaning and organizing! Just happen to have my label maker! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together? Monica Geller : Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe Buffay : A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys. Monica Geller : Who's Gladys? Oh! What a tragic loss! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her! Monica Geller : Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know... Phoebe Buffay : Why, you don't like her? Monica Geller : Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her! Phoebe Buffay : Really? You think? Monica Geller : Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!" Phoebe Buffay : Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her. Monica Geller : Damn it, I did not think this through! Chandler Bing : Hey you guys. Rachel Green : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Any word on casting yet? Chandler Bing : Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part. Joey Tribbiani : What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from? Rachel Green : I'm sorry, this sounds like something I'm never gonna be interested in. Joey Tribbiani : Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! . Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in. Chandler Bing : Joe... Joey Tribbiani : Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses! Chandler Bing : Fine! Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Chandler Bing : Work, Joe! Joey Tribbiani : Damn it! Chandler Bing : What am I gonna do now? Joey Tribbiani : Just pass it to your boss! Chandler Bing : He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own! Rachel Green : Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys. Chandler Bing : That's good! I liked it, they didn't. Joey, for God's sake, go to work! . Ross Geller : I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO? Charlie Wheeler : Sorry, looks like it's just him. Benjamin Hobart : Charlie! My God, you look absolutely stunning! Ross Geller : Well, I... I am having a good hair day. Benjamin Hobart : So good to see you. Charlie Wheeler : Me too. Ross Geller : I'm ok. Charlie Wheeler : I'm sorry... Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart. Ross Geller : It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field. Benjamin Hobart : Oh, well, likewise. Actually, not likewise. I've never heard of you until this morning, but, it's nice to be nice! Charlie Wheeler : Shall we? . Benjamin Hobart : Thank you! . I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night? Charlie Wheeler : Oh my God, I completely forgot! Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! . Benjamin Hobart : You weren't there! Ross Geller : No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... tzz-zzz, mmm. Charlie Wheeler : Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room? Benjamin Hobart : So, tell me about it. Ross Geller : Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert. Benjamin Hobart : M-m. Ross Geller : See, there are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated. Benjamin Hobart : Break up with Charlie! Ross Geller : What? Benjamin Hobart : What? Ross Geller : Did you just say "break up with Charlie"? Benjamin Hobart : Well, yes, and now. Yes I did say it, and no, I didn't not say it. Ross Geller : Kind of inappropriate, don't you think? Benjamin Hobart : I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her. Ross Geller : Are you serious? Benjamin Hobart : If you say yes then I'm serious, if you say no then I'm joking! Ross Geller : No! Benjamin Hobart : Joking it is! Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Sorry, I'm late. Monica Geller : Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting? Phoebe Buffay : No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours! Monica Geller : Wow, what's the bad news! Rachel Green : Who's Gladys? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame. Rachel Green : Oh, and Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too! Monica Geller : Huh! Rachel Green : Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so... Monica Geller : You know, I would give her up, for you. Rachel Green : No, I couldn't let you do that. Monica Geller : But I want to. Rachel Green : But I don't want you to. Monica Geller : But I insist! Rachel Green : But I insist harder! Phoebe Buffay : Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. . Tails! Monica, she's yours! Monica Geller : No, that landed in your food! Rachel Green : No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad! Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! Joey Tribbiani : What's up? Chandler Bing : Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Chandler Bing : I'm sorry man. Joey Tribbiani : But, ehm... you watched the tape? Chandler Bing : Yeah! I... I... I liked it! But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches! Joey Tribbiani : You didn't watch the tape. Chandler Bing : What!? Of course I did! Joey Tribbiani : Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me? Chandler Bing : I'm not lying to you, I watched it! Joey Tribbiani : Well, you lied again! Chandler Bing : I watched it! Joey Tribbiani : Keep going Pinocchio! Chandler Bing : I did! Joey Tribbiani : No you didn't! Chandler Bing : I'm telling you, I watched the tape. Rachel Green : Did you watch the tape? Chandler Bing : No! Benjamin Hobart : The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem? Dr. Li : Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there. Benjamin Hobart : Interesting. Ross Geller : I guess! Benjamin Hobart : Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place? Dr. Biely : Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota. Benjamin Hobart : Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday? Ross Geller : What? I... I... Benjamin Hobart : Care to venture a guess? Ross Geller : May 12th? Benjamin Hobart : That's not even kinda close! Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing? Dr. Li : Half a dozen. Benjamin Hobart : I see, and Dr. Biely? Dr. Biely : Three for excavation and two for analysis. Benjamin Hobart : Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band? Ross Geller : Wha..? I need 6 graduate students. Benjamin Hobart : No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You. Ross Geller : Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology. Benjamin Hobart : You're right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. Spell "Boscodictiasaur". Ross Geller : um... I've never heard of a "Boscodictiasaur". Benjamin Hobart : Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it. Ross Geller : Ok. B - O - S ... Benjamin Hobart : No, it starts with a silent "M". Ross Geller : Oh come on!! Chandler Bing : I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar! Rachel Green : But you are a liar. Chandler Bing : What did I just say? Joey Tribbiani : You still here? Chandler Bing : Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something... Joey Tribbiani : Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... Stop lying! Chandler Bing : Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape? Joey Tribbiani : You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? Rachel Green : Well, this is going well. Joey Tribbiani : Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. Joey Tribbiani : And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! . Chandler Bing : He really is a chameleon. Phoebe Buffay : Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! Monica Geller : Oh, my! Rachel Green : Wow! Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? Monica Geller : I haven't really settled on a spot yet! Rachel Green : Well, hey! How about right above the TV? . That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster. Monica Geller : I like that poster! Phoebe Buffay : Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom? Rachel Green : Oh! There's nothing above your bed!! Monica Geller : Are you still here? Ross Geller : Oh hi! Hello! Uh, have you come to ask me some more paleontology related questions? Uhm... your grandmother's nickname, perhaps? Aunt Margaret's pants size? Benjamin Hobart : I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process. Ross Geller : No! Stop! Benjamin Hobart : Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant. Ross Geller : Really? Benjamin Hobart : Well... there is just one small... stipulation... Ross Geller : I have to break up with Charlie? Benjamin Hobart : Hey, you got one right! Ross Geller : You're crazy. Benjamin Hobart : Crazy, or... romantic? Ross Geller : Crazy! Benjamin Hobart : Ooor... Ross Geller : Get out! Rachel Green : O-oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here? Joey Tribbiani : I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price. Rachel Green : Joey, we're not keeping this! Joey Tribbiani : But it's an original Buffay... Rachel Green : Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted. Joey Tribbiani : Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!? Rachel Green : Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep. Rachel Green : She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob. Joey Tribbiani : GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE! Monica Geller : Hey! I sold that to Joey. Rachel Green : Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. Monica Geller : No, too late. You can't give it back! Rachel Green : Yes I can! Monica Geller : No you can't. She's yours! Rachel Green : She's yours! Monica Geller : SHE'S YOURS! Rachel Green : She's yours! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : She's mine! Monica Geller : She's m-i-i-ne! Rachel Green : She's mine! Monica Geller : She's mine! Phoebe Buffay : You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. Rachel Green : I want Gladys! Monica Geller : She's mine! Rachel Green : She's mine! Monica Geller : She's mine! Rachel Green : She's mine! Chandler Bing : Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not. Joey Tribbiani : That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied. Chandler Bing : I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me? Monica Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Excellent! Joey Tribbiani : Now, what do you say? Chandler Bing : Lying is wrong! Joey Tribbiani : And?... AND? Chandler Bing : I'm a pretty little girl. Phoebe Buffay : I knew it! Ross Geller : Your ex-boyfriend is insane. Charlie Wheeler : Did you get the grant? Ross Geller : No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you. Charlie Wheeler : What? Ross Geller : Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up. Charlie Wheeler : Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man. Ross Geller : Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"? Charlie Wheeler : I'm sure he was just joking, Ross. Ross Geller : If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question. Charlie Wheeler : Seriously? Ross Geller : Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur? Charlie Wheeler : Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O... Ross Geller : Damnit! Benjamin Hobart : Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here? Ross Geller : I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog! Benjamin Hobart : Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia. Ross Geller : No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth. Charlie Wheeler : Benji? Benjamin Hobart : Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life. Ross Geller : Too little, too late, Benji! Charlie Wheeler : I can't believe this. Benjamin Hobart : I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me? Ross Geller : No! Charlie Wheeler : Yes! Ross Geller : What? Charlie Wheeler : I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic. Ross Geller : or... Benjamin Hobart : Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back? Charlie Wheeler : Maybe... Ross Geller : Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable. Charlie Wheeler : Oh God! I am so sorry, but... I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know... Benjamin Hobart : I'm sorry too... Benjamin Hobart : I love you! Charlie Wheeler : I love you too! Ross Geller : Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE! Joey Tribbiani : Gladys? Rachel Green : Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old. Joey Tribbiani : You're mean! Rachel Green : Oh, don't be such a baby! end. Ross Geller : Hey you guys! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, what are you doing? Mike Hannigan : Oh, figuring out our wedding plans. Chandler Bing : That's funny, we were doing the same thing! Ross Geller : Yeah! Phoebe Buffay : It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was! Chandler Bing : Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers. Phoebe Buffay : So what did you two do about it? Chandler Bing : It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell. Ross Geller : There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money. Mike Hannigan : I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry. Ross Geller : Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that. Phoebe Buffay : But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use? Mike Hannigan : Are you serious? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall? Mike Hannigan : I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. Ross Geller : I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture! Chandler Bing : Maybe you do that next time you get married! Ross Geller : No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. But maybe the time after that! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Chandler Bing : Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment. Monica Geller : We? Chandler Bing : You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby? Chandler Bing : Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live. Monica Geller : And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity. Chandler Bing : Little people? Joey Tribbiani : Celebrity. Monica Geller : Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes? Chandler Bing : What...? NO! Monica Geller : Chandler? Chandler Bing : I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation! Monica Geller : Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR? Chandler Bing : I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine. Monica Geller : It isn't mine! Joey Tribbiani : Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is! Charity Guy : May I help you? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children. Charity Guy : Well, any contribution, large or small, is always appreciated. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one. Charity Guy : Well, this is very generous! Phoebe Buffay : And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous. Mike Hannigan : Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers. Phoebe Buffay : Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay. Charity Guy : Well if you like, we can include your names in our newsletter. Mike Hannigan : Not necessary. Phoebe Buffay : Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y. Mike Hannigan : And "X" is spelled uhm... "Mike Hannigan". Charity Guy : Right. Well, on behalf of the children: thank you both very much. Phoebe Buffay : Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good! Mike Hannigan : It does. It feels really good! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! Charity Guy : Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym. Phoebe Buffay : Mhm... it's moist. Ross Geller : Hi! Rachel Green : Hi! Emma will be up in a minute! Ross Geller : Oh, good! Rachel Green : Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry. Ross Geller : Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there. Rachel Green : Absolutely. Ross Geller : There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge! Rachel Green : So, uhm... what are you gonna do today? Ross Geller : Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground! Rachel Green : Oh my God, what!? Ross Geller : Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire! Rachel Green : Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground. Ross Geller : Be-caaauuuse... Rachel Green : All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little. Ross Geller : Seriously? Rachel Green : Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! And it was uneven for weeks! Ross Geller : And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie! Rachel Green : Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes. Ross Geller : Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see! Rachel Green : Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth! Ross Geller : Space is filled with orbiting children. Look, please, just come on, you know, when you'll see the look on Emma's face, I swear you won't regret it. Rachel Green : All right! Ross Geller : Good, you don't want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you? Rachel Green : Irrational, huh? All right, well, I'll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment! Ross Geller : Oh, yeah, that's the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings! Monica Geller : Oh my God, the adoption lady is early! Chandler Bing : Ok, ok, here we go. Monica Geller : Ok. Chandler Bing : Here we go. Stand up straight. Big smile. Phoebe Buffay : Hello, is this the creepy residence? Monica Geller : We're waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I'm glad you're here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this . I don't know if you wanna use it, but... Phoebe Buffay : Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won't be needing a veil, I actually won't be wearing a dress at all! Monica Geller : I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding! Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no, we're not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity. Monica Geller : That's crazy! . I am sorry. I just can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that! Phoebe Buffay : We, you know, we're different! We don't care about having a huge party. This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? And, ow, I look , why, well, radiant. All right, well, who cares, I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress. Monica Geller : That's right. You're making a commitment and that's the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it? Phoebe Buffay : City Hall. Monica Geller : Ow! Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up! Phoebe Buffay : It's ok, it's ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding. Monica Geller : Yay! Chandler Bing : But you already gave all your money to charity! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'll just ask for it back! Chandler Bing : I don't think you can do that! Monica Geller : Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids! Chandler Bing : That's sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady. Rachel Green : Ok, careful. Ross Geller : Ok. Rachel Green : Careful, watch her hair. WATCH HER HAIR! Ross Geller : Rach, she's got like three hairs! Rachel Green : I know but they're just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out. Ross Geller : I promise you she's safe! No watch how much she loves this. Rachel Green : Ok. Ross Geller : Ready sweety? Rachel Green : Ok. Ross Geller : Here we go! Rachel Green : Ok, careful, ok. Oh, she's smiling! Oh my God, she does like it! Ross Geller : See, I told you! Rachel Green : Awe! Oh my God! Looks, she's a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push? Ross Geller : Oh, absolutely! Rachel Green : Ok. Oh God. Get the camera, it's in the diaper bag. Ross Geller : Ok! See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly Ow! Mike Hannigan : We're seriously asking for our money back? Phoebe Buffay : It's for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting. Charity Guy : Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don't think that that's ever happened before. Phoebe Buffay : Gay, go. Mike Hannigan : Oh my God, I love your shirt! Phoebe Buffay : The donation we made earlier, we k..., we w..., we want it back. Charity Guy : Excuse me? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn't want, but it turns out we do. Charity Guy : So you're asking us to refund your donation to the children? Mike Hannigan : Yeah! This feels really good. Phoebe Buffay : I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me. Charity Guy : Hey, it's not my business, besides it's probably a good thing. We really would have been spoiling the children, all those food, and warm clothing... Phoebe Buffay : Hey, that's not fair! A person's wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn't have a graduation party! And I didn't go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to "kill me" or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it. Mike Hannigan : She could have been talking about either one of us. Laura : Hi, I am Laura, I am here for your adoption interview. Monica Geller : Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in. Laura : Thank you! Monica Geller : Would you like something to drink? Laura : Oh, water would be fine. Monica Geller : Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We're really excited about getting this process started. Chandler Bing : Oh, because we love kids. Love 'em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law. Laura : Your place is just lovely. Monica Geller : Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it. Laura : You know, I... I feel like I've been here before. Are any other couples in the building adopting? Monica Geller : Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. Chandler Bing : But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building. Laura : Oh... Chandler Bing : What? Laura : I just realized why I remember this place. Monica Geller : Really? What is it? Laura : Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well. Monica Geller : Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani? Laura : Yes! Chandler Bing : Of course it was! Laura : Yeah, we had a really great night and in the morning he promised he would call me and he didn't. Chandler Bing : RAT BASTARD! Laura : So you're not friends with him? Chandler Bing : OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! No! Laura : Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... Joey Tribbiani : Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? OW! Laura : What was that? Chandler Bing : Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though. Rachel Green : Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay? Ross Geller : SON OF A BITCH! Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! Rachel Green : Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life. Ross Geller : No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice. Rachel Green : Ross, c'mon, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt? Ross Geller : No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of. Rachel Green : I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair. Ross Geller : Look, I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears. Rachel Green : Alright fine. I'll do it. Ross Geller : Good. Rachel Green : If you hold a spider. Ross Geller : WHAT? WHERE? WHERE? Rachel Green : IF you hold a spider. Ross Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Guys? Everything ok? It's me, Joe... Chandler Bing : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!! Laura : What's going on? Chandler Bing : Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. Joey Tribbiani : Guys!? Monica Geller : Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today! Joey Tribbiani : What's going on? Chandler Bing : WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!! Joey Tribbiani : Everything doesn't sound fine! Laura : Is he alright out there by himself? Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie. Laura : Bert and Ernie! Chandler Bing : You can't make this stuff up! Mike Hannigan : You never told me about that guy on your sweet sixteen. Oh, ugh. I'm sorry about that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him. Mike Hannigan : Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. Just like the kids I took the money from. Mike Hannigan : No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there. Phoebe Buffay : Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted. Mike Hannigan : Alright, fine. We'll give the money back. Phoebe Buffay : And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time. Phoebe Buffay : We're back! Charity Guy : Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM. Mike Hannigan : No, no, we're here to give the money back. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, because you know what, it's... it's all about the children. Phoebe Buffay : Although... it's also about the wedding... Ugh, alright... here. No... Oh God... Oh! Charity Guy : If I haven't said so already sir, congratulations! Mike Hannigan : Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. Now... what do you think we should do? Charity Guy : You know what? It's not your decision anymore. Mike Hannigan : What? Charity Guy : On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money. Phoebe Buffay : But... but... but we're giving you this! Charity Guy : Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. Phoebe Buffay : Well, this is very generous! Charity Guy : Please, take the check, go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together. Mike Hannigan : Well, I mean... It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation. Charity Guy : Absolutely! And when you do, make sure you ask for Brian. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, is that you? Charity Guy : No! Monica Geller : Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. Chandler Bing : Wrong number? Monica Geller : It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list. Chandler Bing : That's great! Monica Geller : Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh... Chandler Bing : Hello...? Have you seen Joey's bat? Rachel Green : Ok... I got a spider. There were two, I picked the bigger one. Ross Geller : Ok... Rachel Green : Ok... Ross Geller : This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing! Rachel Green : Ok... O-k... Rachel Green : Ok... Rachel Green : whoo... ok... wow... ok... OH! Ross Geller : See? Rachel Green : A-alright! I can do this. Ross Geller : There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore. Rachel Green : That's because he's on your neck. Ross Geller : Well... Whaa... aaah... aaahhh... Rachel Green : ROSS! end. Monica Geller : Hey guys! Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : We need to talk to you about something. Chandler Bing : Yeah. We don't feel like we can host Thanksgiving this year. #ALL# : What? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Chandler Bing : Well, it's just with uhm, work and the stress of adoption, we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us. Ross Geller : That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking! Chandler Bing : No, no! We made this decision together. Ross Geller : She's putting words in your mouth! Joey Tribbiani : Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths! Rachel Green : I can't believe this! This is Emma's first Thanksgiving! Monica Geller : No, it's not! Rachel Green : It's not? When was she born? Phoebe Buffay : Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break. Monica Geller : Thank you, Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Sure. It's just as well... I mean, last year wasn't very good. I think she's losing her touch. Monica Geller : What? You are way off, lady! Phoebe Buffay : Am I? Really? Am I? Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong! Well, think about it, think about it, you'll be trying to top than you did last year. You'd be in competition... with yourself. Monica Geller : That's my favourite kind! Okay, we are doing this! Chandler Bing : Don't let yourself get manipulated this way! Monica Geller : Hey, stay out of this, Chandler! This is between me... and ME! Chandler Bing : We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you? Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Happy Thanksgiving! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, yeah, happy needless-turkey-murder day. Monica Geller : You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me? Phoebe Buffay : You're not making the pies yourself? Monica Geller : No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick. Rachel Green : Did you at least win the contest? Monica Geller : 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4. Rachel Green : Can't wait! Monica Geller : This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Rach. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : What's Emma doing today? Rachel Green : Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant. Rachel Green : Oh my God! That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard! Phoebe Buffay : Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog! Rachel Green : Oh! Phoebe, all babies are beautiful! Phoebe Buffay : Oh... okay. Rachel Green : Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy... Rachel Green : And a thousand dollars. Rachel Green : ...is something I'm very interested in! Oh please, do not tell Ross. He still believes that what's in the inside is important... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition. Rachel Green : Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I was thinking... Rachel Green : Oh, take the clothes of Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Monica Geller : Did someone drop the baton again? Chandler Bing : Why come all the way from Kansas to do that? Monica Geller : I don't get older. I just get better! Chandler Bing : You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon! Monica Geller : You don't know that. Chandler Bing : Somebody is gonna pick us. Monica Geller : Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks! Chandler Bing : I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. What, he's my favourite author! Monica Geller : Name one of his books. Chandler Bing : "The Firm"? Monica Geller : Ok, let's see... uhm, okay, the turkey is in the oven, the stuffing is ready... Chandler Bing : You know, you always cook this meal all by yourself. Let me help this year. Monica Geller : Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Doctor Phil tells you to do. Chandler Bing : I'm serious, let me do something, just not the turkey or the stuffing, nothing "high profile". Monica Geller : Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it. Chandler Bing : Tell me more. Monica Geller : Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these Not with soap!! Chandler Bing : You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes! Ross Geller : Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has! Joey Tribbiani : Three tickets to today's Rangers game!! Ross Geller : Dude, I wanted him to guess. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they're great seats too! Ross Geller : Guess where they are? Joey Tribbiani : Center ice. Ross Geller : Did I do something to you? Chandler Bing : Hmm, the game's at one. Ross Geller : So? Chandler Bing : Dinner is at four, we'll never gonna make it back. Joey Tribbiani : So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time. Chandler Bing : You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, two times that happened! Chandler Bing : Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go! Ross Geller : He's right, man. Joey Tribbiani : Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four. Chandler Bing : Okay. And get ready to taste my very special cranberries. Or should I say... chanberries! Joey Tribbiani : That's some gentle comedy, dude. Ross Geller : We're still going at the game, right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Ross Geller : Yeah. Host : This is contestant number sixteen, Rebecca... Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid! Phoebe Buffay : We can't leave now! There was this one baby, Haley, who was favourite to win and she got croup, so she had to stay home! This competition just blew wide open, folks! Rachel Green : Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man. Rachel Green : Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner! Phoebe Buffay : But Emma's got what it takes, she could go all the way! Rachel Green : Phoebe, you have to calm down. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma! Rachel Green : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : You heard them say that? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Rachel Green : All right, okay. Alright, let's give to these babies something to cry about! Phoebe Buffay : Good! Oh yay! Let's get down to business! Emma needs some makeup! Rachel Green : No, what? Phoebe Buffay : Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants! Rachel Green : No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby! Phoebe Buffay : Why not! Rachel Green : Because I already did! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, Bob, get off the guy! Ross Geller : Oh! What a game, huh? Joey Tribbiani : I know, yeah. Ross Geller : I can't believe Chandler is missing this! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, I am really enjoying Nacho Chair. Ross Geller : Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away. Joey Tribbiani : Ohhhh! These seats are great! Ross Geller : I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner! Joey Tribbiani : Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner. Ross Geller : Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know... Ross Geller : One more fight! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : Okay. Monica Geller : Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late! Chandler Bing : I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day! Joey Tribbiani : How late are we? Ross Geller : Forty-five minutes. Joey Tribbiani : Wow. Ross Geller : Here! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! Ross Geller : You may want to lose the foam finger! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand! Ross Geller : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : You are not at Thanksgiving? Rachel Green : No... Phoebe Buffay : No, we're late! Rachel Green : What are you doing here! Ross Geller : We're late too! Joey Tribbiani : We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time. Phoebe Buffay : Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani! Ross Geller : So, nobody's here? Monica's gonna kill us! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, where were you! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, what's with the trophy! Phoebe Buffay : Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee! Rachel Green : And I won! Ross Geller : You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee. Rachel Green : Yes! Y-E-S. Yes! Ross Geller : Let me see this... Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division. Rachel Green : Yeah. That's me! Ross Geller : You entered Emma into a Beauty Pageant? Phoebe Buffay : And it looks like she put makeup on her! Joey Tribbiani : Wait a second, wait a second, where have I seen that cowgirl outfit before... Ross Geller : I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable! Rachel Green : She won a thousand dollars! Ross Geller : So this is an annual thing? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! That's Alicia Mae Emory's outfit! Phoebe Buffay : You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier! Ross Geller : Yeah. What are we gonna do? Rachel Green : Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap. Joey Tribbiani : All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, what are we gonna say? Ross Geller : Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged! Joey Tribbiani : No. Here. Ross Geller : HEY! Monica Geller : Do you hear something? Chandler Bing : They're out there! Monica Geller : Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking! Chandler Bing : Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game! Monica Geller : Oooh! They are in for a world of pain! Chandler Bing : Ross' shirt is torn. Monica Geller : Oh! They're late and they're sloppy! Rachel Green : Alright, Emma is napping... what happened to your shirt? Ross Geller : I got mugged. And they stole my pocket. Phoebe Buffay : We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her. Ross Geller : That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around. Rachel Green : You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. Ross Geller : We know you're out there. Joey Tribbiani : Who do you think its from? Rachel Green : Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad. Ross Geller : Well, let's just go in there and face them. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy. Joey Tribbiani : I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning. Rachel Green : Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. Ready? . Joey Tribbiani : Ah-haah! I win!! Ross Geller : What is that? Joey Tribbiani : That's fire. Beats everything. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? . Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played. Rachel Green : Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time. #ALL# : Alright, okay. Phoebe Buffay : It's locked. Ross Geller : Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy". Rachel Green : Alright, come on... Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together. Monica Geller : No! Everything's cold. The turkey's dried out and the... the stuffing is all soggy. Chandler Bing : Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that... what happens to cranberry sauce? Monica Geller : Nothing. It's fine. Chandler Bing : Oh thank God! Ross Geller : Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down. Chandler Bing : That's a lie, you went to the game, I can see Joey's hand. Ross Geller : FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! Rachel Green : You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. Joey Tribbiani : I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. Monica Geller : That's all the turkey you're gonna get. Ross Geller : How are we gonna decide who gets this? Joey Tribbiani : WATER BALLOON! Phoebe Buffay : What are we gonna do? I'm starving. Rachel Green : Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : Hey, you touch that and you will be sorry. Chandler Bing : Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. Rachel Green : Huh... OH MY GOD IT'S BRUSSELS SPROUTS. Ross Geller : That's worse than no food. Chandler Bing : HA-HA! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts! Monica Geller : Stinky?! Chandler Bing : Please let me stay on this side of the door. Rachel Green : Oh, I know... I still have my old key! We can just unlock the door. Phoebe Buffay : Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us. Rachel Green : You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. Joey Tribbiani : Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us. Ross Geller : I don't know... Joey Tribbiani : I'm telling ya... I can do it. Ross Geller : Yeah, he can do it! Rachel Green : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing... Chandler Bing : The cranberries...? Monica Geller : Oh! Enough! A monkey could have made 'em! Joey Tribbiani : Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible. Chandler Bing : He's doing that weird eye contact thing. Don't look at him, don't look at him! Joey Tribbiani : Come on you guys, we want you to know we're very very sorry. Right guys? Ross Geller : I feel terrible. Phoebe Buffay : So, so sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Now let's not ruin this day. You worked so hard. Let's move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh? Chandler Bing : The floating heads do make a good point. Monica Geller : Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad. Rachel Green : So bad. Ross Geller : So bad. Phoebe Buffay : So bad. Monica Geller : Okay, okay. You two go get the dessert. And I'll let you in. Rachel Green : Dessert? Monica Geller : Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right? Phoebe Buffay : Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize . Here! . Monica Geller : Grand Supreme Little Darling? Rachel Green : Congratulatioooons! Monica Geller : Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do. Ross Geller : Really girls, not cool. Chandler Bing : Well, you manheads aren't any better. You lied about going to the game. You knew it would make you late, and you still went anyway. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness! Ross Geller : It's a day to be thankful. Joey Tribbiani : Don't make me come up there! Monica Geller : It's too late for apologies. Joey Tribbiani : Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner. Chandler Bing : That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling. Rachel Green : Ewww, is that what that is? Joey Tribbiani : Sorry! Phoebe Buffay : Come on you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving. Rachel Green : Yeah! I'll cook! Ross Geller : Yeah! Let's go out. Rachel Green : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving. Monica Geller : The three of us? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein! Joey Tribbiani : Ha! Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh! I'm stuck! Monica Geller : Joey, that is not gonna work. Joey Tribbiani : No seriously... I'm really wedged in here. Phoebe Buffay : I'll pull you through. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head. Chandler Bing : A little late for that. Joey Tribbiani : Alright, hurry up, you gotta do something. Monica Geller : Alright, well, this does not change anything. Okay, we need to get something to grease the sides of his face. Chandler Bing : Uhm, we've got turkey grease. Monica Geller : Bring it. Joey Tribbiani : I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person... Monica Geller : Here you go! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that smells good! Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay, try it. Joey Tribbiani : It isn't working. Monica Geller : Alright, we're gonna have to unscrew the chain. Joey Tribbiani : Well hurry, I can't feel my ears! Chandler Bing : Can you ever feel your ears? Joey Tribbiani : Interesting... Monica Geller : Chandler, where are your tools? Chandler Bing : Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools! Monica Geller : I do, but Rachel borrowed them. Rachel Green : I lent them to Ross. Ross Geller : I gave them to Joey. Joey Tribbiani : I left them at the park. Monica Geller : Oh! Ross Geller : I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him. Phoebe Buffay : I've already stuffed a bunch of Brussel sprouts down his pants. Ross Geller : Nice! Monica Geller : Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken. Joey Tribbiani : It's really starting to hurt. Chandler Bing : Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH! Phoebe Buffay : Just a sec., we're kind in the middle of something here. Joey Tribbiani : Ooh! Stop putting things down my pants! Chandler Bing : Come on guys, PUSH! Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! Come on! Chandler Bing : PUSH! PUSH! PUSH! Chandler Bing : My cranberries! Joey Tribbiani : Man, I've got food all over me. Chandler Bing : Argh! I can't believe what you did. Monica's gonna kill you! Chandler Bing : Look! Look! Look what the... Look what... Look what the floating heads did! Monica Geller : I don't care. Chandler Bing : What's going on? Monica Geller : That was the adoption agency... Chandler Bing : And? Monica Geller : WE'RE GETTING A BABY! Chandler Bing : Are you serious? Monica Geller : There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us! Rachel Green : I'm so happy for you! Monica Geller : This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass! Rachel Green : To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio. Ross Geller : I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Have you considered pageanting? Monica Geller : I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I know how you feel... Rachel Green : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia Mae Emory... The waiting, the wandering... Then one day... I get that call from Toys "R" Us... She was in stock! Chandler Bing : That is the exact same thing. Chandler Bing : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Chandler Bing : We're just here to say goodbye, we're off to Ohio. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, right! Your adoption interview! Monica Geller : Yep, we're gonna meet the lady who could be carrying our baby. Joey Tribbiani : I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird! Chandler Bing : And so incorrect! Monica Geller : She's only a couple of months pregnant. She liked our application but who knows if she's gonna like us. Ross Geller : Come on, she's gonna love you guys! Chandler Bing : Uhm, thank you, but we're really trying not to get our hopes up. Monica Geller : And a lot could still get in our way. Chandler Bing : Yeah. I mean, this girl could decide against adoption or she could like another couple better.. Phoebe Buffay : What are you gonna name the baby? Chandler Bing : I can develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word. Joey Tribbiani : But just think, ok? What if everything goes right? What if this woman does pick you guys? Monica Geller : Oh my God. She's gonna pick us! Chandler Bing : So we're standing firm on the 'not getting our hopes up'? Monica Geller : You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby! Chandler Bing : Yes, but... Monica Geller : Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! Chandler Bing : Oh, screw it, I'm gonna be a daddy!! Rachel Green : Hey, who's Phoebe with? Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna say someone I'm gonna have sex with. Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : So... who's your friend? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, that's Sarah. No, no. Don't you get any ideas, ok? No, I'm not setting you up with any more of my friends! Joey Tribbiani : OW, why, why, why? Phoebe Buffay : Because you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with. Phoebe Buffay : Mandy. Joey Tribbiani : Mandy, uh? Uh... really hot blonde, big boobs? Phoebe Buffay : No. Joey Tribbiani : I know why I don't remember her, huh? Rachel Green : Do you think I'm someone else? Joey Tribbiani : Ok, I may not have treated your friends well in the past, but I have grown up a lot, really. Honest, Rach? Rachel Green : Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else! Joey Tribbiani : Growth! Phoebe Buffay : Fine, I'll give you her number. Joey Tribbiani : Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. Mandy. Phoebe Buffay : SARAH! Joey Tribbiani : Saraaah. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey you guys, I need some fashion advice. Rachel Green : Oh! Ross Geller : How does this look? Rachel Green : Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... a little bit more... a little bit more... There you go! Now throw it away! Ross Geller : C'mon! This looks good! Rachel Green : Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat. Ross Geller : Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool! Phoebe Buffay : Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right? Ross Geller : Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress. Joey Tribbiani : I can see why, nice shirt! Ross Geller : You're wearing the same shirt. Joey Tribbiani : Stupid Gap on every corner! Agency Guy : Please, make yourself comfortable and I will back in a moment with Erica. Monica Geller : Ok, thank you. Uh, well this is it. Are you OK? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?" Monica Geller : Uh, we're gonna be great. Chandler Bing : You're gonna be great. Monica Geller : Well... obviously! Agency Guy : Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica. Monica Geller : Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you. Erica : Hi... Chandler Bing : Thank you so much for agreeing to see us. Erica : Hi. Agency Guy : I'll let you get acquainted. Chandler Bing : Ok. Erica : So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D. Chandler Bing : That's what our friends call us. Erica : Gosh, you know, you're just such an amazing couple. It's... kind of intimidating. Monica Geller : I don't know about that. Erica : You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend? Chandler Bing : I don't think that's exactly... Monica Geller : Let her finish, doctor. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, my friend Sarah had a great time last night. Joey Tribbiani : Well... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! So you're gonna call this one back? Joey Tribbiani : Nope. Phoebe Buffay : What are you talking about? Sarah's great! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere... Phoebe Buffay : That's it? That's why you won't go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, look! It's not about a few fries... it's about what the fries represent. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : ALL FOOD! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, I can't believe I set you up with such a MONSTER! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don't order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That's a good way to lose some fingers! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Rachel Green : Hi. Phoebe Buffay : Thank God you're here. Listen to this! Rachel Green : what? Phoebe Buffay : Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries... Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, no! Phoebe Buffay : What? You know about the plate thing? Rachel Green : Oh, yeah. Joey doesn't share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ... Phoebe Buffay : You wouldn't let her have a grape? Rachel Green : Oh no! Not me! Emma! Joey Tribbiani : JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I still think that it's a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table! Joey Tribbiani : I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I'll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. What were we talking about? Phoebe Buffay : This place is awesome! Ross Geller : You know, we should just go, I'm not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous! Rachel Green : Ah, this place is great! Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Ross Geller : Rach, come on, I'm not gonna wear any of this! Nothing silver. . Ok? Nothing with hair! And nothing with padlocks on it! . Rachel Green : Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! . I mean, this is just beautiful! Ross Geller : Wow, this is really soft . Three hundred and fifty dollars? Rachel Green : Yeah, down from seven hundred, you are saving like two hundred bucks! Ross Geller : Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today. Phoebe : Hey, check this out! It's totally you! Ross Geller : Wow! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Ross Geller : Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah! Boys will be boys? Phoebe Buffay : What? They will be! Ross Geller : All right, that's it, I'm getting out of here. Rachel Green : No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there's other stuff. Here's a nice shirt, look at these nice pants... Ross Geller : Uh, actually these might look pretty good on me. Rachel Green : Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I'm... I'm gonna pick up some really good stuff for you. Ross Geller : Really? Rachel Green : Yes! And I know what looks sexy on guys. Please, just wear what I suggest, and she's gonna go nuts for you. Ross Geller : So, you're saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers? Rachel Green : Why do men keep talking to me like this? Chandler Bing : So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife's a reverend, that's important to you? Erica : Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought "who better then a minister to raise a child!" Monica Geller : Amen. Chandler Bing : Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor! Monica Geller : Uh, good hands. Healing hands. Erica : Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption? Monica Geller : It says "Do it!". And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good. Erica : Wow. Chandler Bing : Yeah, wow. Erica : I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock? Monica Geller : Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock. Erica : Being a doctor must take up a lot of time. Chandler Bing : No-ot for me it doesn't. Agency Guy : So, how's everything going in here? Erica : We're great, I think I may have asked all my questions. Agency Guy : Do you have any question for Erica? Chandler Bing : Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us? Agency Guy : Yes, our system assures total anonimity. We're very proud of it. Chandler Bing : You should be. You're really on top of stuff.. Agency Guy : Well, then if there's nothing else, then the two of us should talk. Erica : Actually, I don't think we have to. Monica Geller : We don't? Erica : Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. . I've made my decision. I choose them. Monica Geller : Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! . Did you hear that? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I did. Monica Geller : Hey, thank you. Thank you so much. . You are SO going to Heaven! Rachel Green : We got some really great stuff! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got. Rachel Green : Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me? Phoebe Buffay : Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination? Rachel Green : Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing. Phoebe Buffay : oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later. Ross Geller : So? What do you think? Joey Tribbiani : I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!! Ross Geller : Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here. Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that. Ross Geller : Oh, I see, somebody is afraid of a little competition with the ladies? Joey Tribbiani : Looks like someone IS the ladies!! Ross Geller : You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me I have a date. See? ALL eyes on ME! Chandler Bing : We are NOT signing those papers. Monica Geller : Why not? Chandler Bing : It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else. Monica Geller : God works in mysterious ways. Chandler Bing : You have gotta stop! Monica Geller : But she liked us. Chandler Bing : She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica. Monica Geller : Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. Chandler Bing : Your Veal Chop is $34,95! Monica Geller : C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now. Chandler Bing : But we are not the one she chose! How can you feel okay about this? Monica Geller : Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us. Chandler Bing : I know.. Monica Geller : I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us? Chandler Bing : oh, honey.. Monica Geller : Please.. please, we are so close. Chandler Bing : Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica Geller : okay, right. Chandler Bing : So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, maybe she'll like us for us. Monica Geller : Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I have been a Reverend? Chandler Bing : You're Jewish. Monica Geller : Technicality! Waiter : A garden salad for the lady. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, that looks great! Good ordering! Waiter : Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy! Sarah : Mmmh, those fries look delicious. Joey Tribbiani : oh, I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself! What's mine is yours. Sarah : Oh wow, are those stuffed clams? Joey Tribbiani : Uuuh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams. Joey Tribbiani : How about those fries though, huh? Sarah : They are delicious. Joey Tribbiani : You are beautiful, you know that? Sarah : Oh, that is so sweet.. Joey Tribbiani : Oh okay.. Joey Tribbiani : NOW look what you did!! Sarah : What? what is the matter with you? Joey Tribbiani : I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay? Sarah : But you just said "What's mine is yours"? Joey Tribbiani : WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT! Sarah : Fine, I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean There are things you do..and you now, things.. that you don't do . Girl : Wow, this place looks great. Ross Geller : Oh! You are gonna love it! and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this. Girl : Me too! Ross Geller : Here So this was fun! Joey Tribbiani : I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you. Sarah : Sure Just not as much as clams. Joey Tribbiani : Well, stuffed clams. Waiter : Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, excuse me sir, there seems to be some sort of red crap on my cheesecake. Waiter : Yes, that's Raspberry coule. Joey Tribbiani : So stupid, ordering cheesecake, trying to be healthy. Sarah : Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, all right, I'll just have what she's having instead. Waiter : Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece. Sarah : Mmmm! Mmm! Sarah : Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me? Joey Tribbiani : Oh yeah, sure. No problem. Sarah : What are you doing? I thought you don't share food. Joey Tribbiani : Sure I do. Coule? Sarah : No. If I can't have your clams, you can't have my dessert. This is a two way street. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Sarah : Really! Now this all better be here when I come back. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, of course. I can control myself. Joey Tribbiani : Stop staring at me! Joey Tribbiani : Why, just a tiny little... Joey Tribbiani : Oh-oh! TIME LAPSE. Joey Tribbiani : I'm not even sorry. Erica : Hi! Adoption Agency Guy : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Agency Guy : So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it. Monica Geller : I-Is... Is that a picture? Erica : Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. Monica Geller : Look, doctor! Look, before we sign anything we really have to talk... We're not who you think we are. Agency Guy : I don't understand. Chandler Bing : The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor. Erica : What? Agency Guy : That's impossible. Chandler Bing : I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like. Agency Guy : I'll go check your file. Excuse me. Erica : So who are you? Chandler Bing : Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York. Monica Geller : Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. Erica : So you lied to me before? Monica Geller : Well, we... "bore false witness"... See I could be a reverend. Erica : I can't believe this. Monica Geller : But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider... Erica : Giving you my baby? You think I'd give you my child after this? Monica Geller : Well, you don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file... Erica : I don't want to look at your file! This is over. Chandler Bing : Erica wait! Erica : I've nothing to say to you. Chandler Bing : You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again. Erica : Why don't you ask the reverend to pray on it? Chandler Bing : Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising. Erica : Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong. Chandler Bing : But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please? Chandler Bing : You still want that baby? Monica Geller : God bless you Chandler Bing! Ross Geller : Turns out this sweater is made for a woman. Joey Tribbiani : So, why are you still wearing it? Ross Geller : Because it's soft... Hey, so how was your date? Joey Tribbiani : Ooh... Not so good. Ross Geller : Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, and you know what? We could do a lot worse. Joey Tribbiani : JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD! end. Monica Geller : Mmh... this cake is amazing! Rachel Green : My God, get a room! Monica Geller : I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time! Phoebe Buffay : If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex? Monica Geller : Sex! Chandler Bing : Seriously, answer faster! Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"! Chandler Bing : It's like a giant hug. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food? Ross Geller : Food. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, how about... uhm... sex or dinosaurs? Ross Geller : Oh my God. It's like Sophie's Choice. Rachel Green : Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food? Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard. Rachel Green : No, you gotta pick one! Joey Tribbiani : Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread! Rachel Green : You gotta see these latest pictures of Emma. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, how cute! Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, she looks just like a little doll! Rachel Green : Oh, no, no. That is a doll. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! Look, there's Chandler. Rachel Green : Oh. Who is the blonde, she's pretty. Phoebe Buffay : OH! He's having an affair. Rachel Green : He's not having an affair! Phoebe Buffay : You know, I'm always right about these things. Rachel Green : No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kill you! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her! Rachel Green : Oh, that doesn't mean anything. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah? Well, let's see. Ok, duck down. Chandler Bing : Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so... ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel. Chandler Bing : Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember". Chandler Bing : Those are all really old! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, then maybe it'll be, uhm... Rachel Green : "Dude, Where's My Car?" Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : They're in a caaar... Phoebe Buffay : Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye. Rachel Green : Geez! Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them. Rachel Green : Oh, yeah, ok. Let me just grab my night vision goggles and my stun gun. Phoebe Buffay : I got them! Chandler Bing : Hi! Monica Geller : Hey! You smell like perfume and cigarettes. Chandler Bing : I was in the car with Nancy all day. Monica Geller : Nancy doesn't smoke! Chandler Bing : Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that! Monica Geller : So? What do you think of the house? Chandler Bing : It's perfect. It's everything we've been looking for. Monica Geller : Isn't it? Then what about the amazing wainscotting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic? Chandler Bing : And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps? What were the things you said? Monica Geller : Don't you love the huge yard? Chandler Bing : And the fireplace in the bedroom. Monica Geller : And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents! Chandler Bing : This is bringing out a lovely color in you! Monica Geller : So? Do you think we should get it? Chandler Bing : I don't know. What do you think? Monica Geller : I think we should. Chandler Bing : I do too. Monica Geller : This is huge! Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : How bad you wanna smoke, right now. Chandler Bing : I don't know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy's car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day. Monica Geller : Gotcha. When do we tell them about this? Chandler Bing : We don't. Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing. Monica Geller : Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard. Chandler Bing : I know. Gooooood luck with it. Ross Geller : I just can't see Chandler cheating! Rachel Green : I'm telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy! Joey Tribbiani : Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can't believe he would do this to Monica! Ross Geller : I know, and with the baby coming? Phoebe Buffay : So, should we tell her? Ross Geller : I don't know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you? Phoebe Buffay : Why? Who'd you seen him with? Ross Geller : No one, I'm just saying if... Phoebe Buffay : TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW! Ross Geller : I know nothing! Mike's a great guy, it was hypothetical! Phoebe Buffay : All right. . He is a good guy. You're right, he wouldn't cheat. Ross Geller : Believe me, if I did see with someone, there's no way I... Phoebe Buffay : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH? Rachel Green : Oh, look at her, so happy! Monica Geller : If only there were a smaller one to clean this one! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here? Monica Geller : No, he's picking up dinner, why, what's up? Phoebe Buffay : Well, look, whatever happens, we're here for you and we love you. Monica Geller : All right... Ross Geller : We think Chandler might be having an affair. Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester. Phoebe Buffay : They went in together. So sorry. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Oh my God that's awful! What did you think of the house? Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Monica, you understand what we are saying, right? Monica Geller : Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... Did you think the neighborhood was homey? Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : You son of a bitch! Chandler Bing : Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here? Monica Geller : Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair. Rachel Green : Who's Nancy? Ross Geller : What's going on? Monica Geller : Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big. Chandler Bing : Yeah I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor. Joey Tribbiani : I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!! Phoebe Buffay : Why do you have a realtor? Monica Geller : Uhm, she has been showing us houses outside of the city. Joey Tribbiani : What? Rachel Green : Are you serious? Monica Geller : When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city. Phoebe Buffay : So you're gonna move? Ross Geller : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this?! Rachel Green : What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it! Monica Geller : And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset... Chandler Bing : ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by. Ross Geller : So you wanna buy a house in the 50's? Phoebe Buffay : Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door? Ross Geller : You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay. Joey Tribbiani : No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! I'm gonna thump you! Ross Geller : It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay , but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be. Chandler Bing : Actually, we already found a house we love. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : And about an hour ago, we made an offer. Chandler Bing : Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh? TIME LAPSE. Ross Geller : You put an offer on a house? Monica Geller : It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... Phoebe Buffay : Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers? Chandler Bing : I know this is really hard and we're really sorry. Joey Tribbiani : Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? Because I can stop doing that, I really, really think I can! Chandler Bing : You know that's not the reason Joe. Monica Geller : We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. It is beautiful, isn't it? Rachel Green : Yeah it is. Joey Tribbiani : What the hell are you doin'? Rachel Green : Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, but so is this. Ross Geller : Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place? Rachel Green : C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy! Ross Geller : You can see where he'd have trouble. Rachel Green : Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica. Monica Geller : Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica... Ross Geller : That money is mine, Green! Rachel Green : You're fly is open, Geller! Phoebe Buffay : You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence? Chandler Bing : Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'! Phoebe Buffay : Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles. Rachel Green : Ow, that had to hurt! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, it's your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help. The Guys : We will. Monica Geller : Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles. Rachel Green : No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this. Monica Geller : Every year. Joey Tribbiani : It's stuck!!! Phoebe Buffay : Easy. Step. How did it get on? Joey Tribbiani : I put it on to scare Chandler! Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out! Joey Tribbiani : It smells really bad in here. Phoebe Buffay : Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass! Monica Geller : Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! Who is that? Joey Tribbiani : It's Joey. Monica Geller : I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster? Rachel Green : Oooohh that's interesting. Chandler Bing : If you win, we give up the birds. Joey Tribbiani : Dah!! Chandler Bing : But if we win, we get your apartment. Joey Tribbiani : Oooooh! Monica Geller : Deal! TIME LAPSE. Ross Geller : What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie? Joey Tribbiani : Big fat goalie. Ross Geller : Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie... Chandler Bing : Dangerous Liaisons. Ross Geller : Correct. Her actual favorite movie is... Joey Tribbiani : Weekend at Bernie's. Ross Geller : Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there? Joey Tribbiani : Everyday use. Chandler Bing : Fancy. Joey Tribbiani : Guest. Chandler Bing : Fancy guest. Ross Geller : Two seconds... Joey Tribbiani : Uhh, 11! Ross Geller : 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. Ross Geller : Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast? Rachel Green : 14? Ross Geller : No, 19. Chandler Bing : Thanks man. Ross Geller : Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was? Monica Geller : Maurice. Ross Geller : Correct, his profession was? Rachel Green : Space cowboy! Ross Geller : Correct! What is Chandler Bing's job? Rachel Green : Ow...Oh Gosh! Ross Geller : 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game. Monica Geller : It's umm, it has something to do with transponding. Rachel Green : Oh-oh-oh, he's a transponce-transpondster! Monica Geller : That's not even a word! Monica Geller : NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! TIME LAPSE. Rachel Green : Y'know what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, don't get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes! Rachel Green : That is not true. She did! She forced me! Monica Geller : Hey, we would still be living here if hadn't gotten the question wrong! Rachel Green : Well it stupid, unfair question! Ross Geller : Don't blame the questions! Chandler Bing : Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us! Ross Geller : Chandler!!! Chandler!!! Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here! Chandler Bing : Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! Monica Geller : Hey Ross. What's up bro? Ross Geller : What the hell are doing?!! Rachel Green : Hey, what's-what's going on?! Chandler Bing : Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica. Joey Tribbiani : Dude! He's right there! Ross Geller : I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this! Chandler Bing : Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her. Monica Geller : I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too. Ross Geller : My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. Monica Geller : Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I'm just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?" Rachel Green : Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, you guys, I don't mean to make things worse, but umm, I don't want to live with Rachel anymore. Monica Geller : What?! Phoebe Buffay : You're just so mean to each other! And I don't want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you! Rachel Green : Well, Phoebe that's fine because I'm not moving. Monica Geller : Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y'know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y'know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she'll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I'd like. Phoebe Buffay : What else? Monica Geller : When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror. Rachel Green : Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that. Phoebe Buffay : That's nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom. Monica Geller : When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket. Rachel Green : Well y'know, I don't want you to be cold. Monica Geller : And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! TIME LAPSE. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : She really left. Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : Thank you. Chandler Bing : No problem roomie. Monica Geller : Can I ask you a question? Chandler Bing : Sure! Monica Geller : What the hell is that dog doing here?! Chandler Bing : Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked. #ALL# : That's so sweet. Ross Geller : And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas. Rachel Green : And a crappy New Year. Chandler Bing : Here, here! Rachel Green : You can't move. You just... you just can't. Joey Tribbiani : Rachel's right. This is where you guys belong. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters. Ross Geller : You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. Rachel Green : Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... maybe close your blinds at night. Chandler Bing : Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer. Monica Geller : And? Chandler Bing : Okay, thanks... They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price. Monica Geller : We can't afford that. Chandler Bing : I know. Monica Geller : Well, there you go. Joey Tribbiani : I'm really sorry you guys. Ross Geller : Yeah. I'm sorry too. I'm even more sorry that that phone call didn't come before I told you about looking through the window. Rachel Green : Yeah, we're gonna let you be alone. Phoebe Buffay : You're gonna be okay? Monica Geller : Yeah, we'll be okay. Ross Geller : Love you guys. Joey Tribbiani : You know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before. Chandler Bing : That's okay, we understand. Joey Tribbiani : And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I? Monica Geller : I know there'll be other houses, but it's just so... I love that one so much. Chandler Bing : Yeah... Well, it's a good thing we got it then. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : We got the house. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I just didn't want to tell you in front of them. Monica Geller : Oh my God! My God! We've got the house !? Chandler Bing : We're getting the house. We're getting the house. Monica Geller : And a baby... Chandler Bing : We're growing up. Monica Geller : We sure are. Chandler Bing : So who's gonna tell them? Monica Geller : Not it! Chandler Bing : Not it! Damn it! Monica Geller : Rachel, this is yours. Rachel Green : Aah! Why? What are these for? Chandler Bing : You'll see. Monica Geller : All right, everybody open them! Rachel Green : Ooh! Oh wow this is so beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. Monica Geller : I know. Ross Geller : I love this. Joey Tribbiani : A meatball Sub? Thanks! Ross Geller : Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for? Chandler Bing : Well, I didn't know how to tell you before, but... We got the house. Monica Geller : Enjoy! Joey Tribbiani : What did they say? Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys! Monica Geller : Hey, let me tell them! Joey Tribbiani : Sure. Monica Geller : Joey is gonna be a celebrity guest on a game show! Phoebe Buffay : Great! Ross Geller : Really? Which one? Monica Geller : Ohh! Fish, seaweed, a sunken ship. Ross Geller : Things you find in the ocean, You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!! Monica Geller : Oh, that was our favourite game show ever! Ross Geller : Except for "Match game"... Monica Geller : Or "Win, Lose or Draw". Chandler Bing : What did I marry into? Joey Tribbiani : Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show? Monica Geller : Oh, I can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, sorry boys, this ride's closing. Ross Geller : Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond. Joey Tribbiani : Seriously? Ross Geller : Yeah-uh! Monica Geller : Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie. Chandler Bing : You guys just keep getting cooler and cooler! Monica Geller : Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends. Rachel Green : Oh God, that's right. I blocked that out. Monica Geller : "I'm a little bit country"... Ross Geller : "...and I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll"! Chandler Bing : I'm leaving you. Ross Geller : So weird to see all these people again... Oh my God, look, there's Geoffrey Cleric. Chandler Bing : Who? Ross Geller : He was roommates with John Rosoff. He went out with Andrea Tamburino. She dumped him for Michael Skloff. Chandler Bing : Did I go to this school? Ross Geller : Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her. Chandler Bing : Sure, nice. Ross Geller : Dude. You're married to my sister. Chandler Bing : You're right, by saying "nice" I'm virtually licking her. Ross Geller : Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out? Chandler Bing : Are you asking permission to break the pact? Ross Geller : Yes please. Ross Geller : Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room! Chandler Bing : Awesome, the name really stands out. Ross Geller : Thanks to a little something called "Helvetica Bold 24 point"! Chandler Bing : Man, we're gonna rock that Asian student union! Missy Goldberg : Hey guys! Chandler Bing : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey, Missy... Chandler Bing : You know, our band is playing on Friday. Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah. You should come check us out. We're called "Way! No Way!". Missy Goldberg : No way! Chandler Bing : Way! Missy Goldberg : Right. I'll be there. Chandler Bing : Fresh! Ross Geller : Boss! Chandler Bing : Mint! Ross Geller : She's gone. Chandler Bing : I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out. Ross Geller : Dude, I was gonna ask her out. Chandler Bing : I said it first, bro. Ross Geller : Well, I thought it first, Holmes. Chandler Bing : Look, if you did... Ross Geller : Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want. Chandler Bing : Totally. I had sex in High school... Ross Geller : Me too. I'm good at it. Chandler Bing : All right, I'd say we make a pact. Neither of us will go out with Missy Goldberg. Ross Geller : You got it. Chandler Bing : All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with. Ross Geller : Those are the pacts! Chandler Bing : Oh, and Sheena Easton. But we probably couldn't get her anyway. Ross Geller : Oh, oh... maybe not you! Chandler Bing : Well, I officially give you permission to break the pact. Ross Geller : Thank you. All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college? Chandler Bing : Your hands are shaking. Ross Geller : I know, and I can't stop sweating. Voice : Five! Four! Three! Applause! Donny Osmond : Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! Joey Tribbiani : I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! Only better looking and richer. Donny Osmond : ...should be playing with the star of "General Hospital" Leslie Charleson. Welcome everybody. Good luck to all of you. Let's play Pyramid. All right? Now... we flipped a coin before the show, Gene, you won the toss, so you're gonna start. Which category would you like? Gene : I'll take "You crossed the line". Donny Osmond : You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go! Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my... Gene : Diary. Joey Tribbiani : Noo, more like a notebook... Damn it! Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the... Gene : Cafeteria. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. OOOH! Phoebe Buffay : Thank you so much for this. Rachel Green : Oh, d'you like it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, it's all so elegant! When's the dirty stuff starting? Rachel Green : What? Phoebe Buffay : You know, the strippers, and the guys dancing, and you know, pee-pee's flying about. Rachel Green : Pheebs, I... there isn't gonna be any flying about! We actually thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, ok. I see what you're doing, that's fine. This is all there is, just tea, uh, ok. Hmmmm... raunchy! Rachel Green : Seriously Pheebs, it's not gonna be that kind of a party. Phoebe Buffay : Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea? Rachel Green : Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's! Donny Osmond : Now Gene I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game, all right? Describe for Joey things you find in your refrigerator. Joey Tribbiani : Ahaha, he might as well just give us the points. Donny Osmond : Give me twenty seconds on the clock. Ready? Go! Gene : You put this in your coffee. Joey Tribbiani : A spoon. Your hands. Your face! Gene : It's white! Joey Tribbiani : Paper, snow, a ghost! Gene : It's heavier then milk! Joey Tribbiani : A rock, a dog, the earth. Gene : Pass! Gene : You put this on a sandwich. Joey Tribbiani : Salami, anchovies, jam! Gene : It's white! Joey Tribbiani : Paper, snow, a ghost! Gene : It's made from eggs! Joey Tribbiani : Chickens? Gene : Pass! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Gene : You put this on a hamburger! Joey Tribbiani : Ketchup! Gene : Yes! Joey Tribbiani : Relish! Gene : Stop! Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Donny Osmond : Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Donny Osmond : Uh, Gene, you're gonna have a chance to go to the winner circle in the second half. But right now Henrietta you are going to the winner circle to try your luck for ten thousand dollars, right after this, don't go away. Stage Manager : And we're out! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right? Gene : Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time! Gene : Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? . Yeah! Ross Geller : So, Saturday night! Missy Goldberg : I'd love to! Ross Geller : Great! Missy Goldberg : So how come it took you so long to ask me out? Ross Geller : Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing? Missy Goldberg : Sure, he was in your "band"? Ross Geller : It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt. Missy Goldberg : Sorry. Ross Geller : That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out! Missy Goldberg : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah, why? Missy Goldberg : Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot! Ross Geller : You did? Missy Goldberg : Yeah. We'd go to the science lab after hours! Ross Geller : AND ON MY TURF? Monica Geller : Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour! Rachel Green : Well, he's coming from Jersey, he said he would get here as fast as he could! Monica Geller : Who is it? Man : It's the police! Rachel Green : Uh! The police! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Man : That's right, it's officer Goodbody. Monica Geller : What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? Roy : Whoo, that's a lot of stairs! Roy : Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch. Monica Geller : Are you gonna be ok, officer, uhm,... Roy : Goodbody! Monica Geller : ...If-you-say-so. Roy : So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take downtown! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, God! Roy : All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! Whaaaa... Here? All right. Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Are you kidding? Rachel Green : All right, look, we did not know that you wanted a stripper so we went to the phonebook and we got the first name we could find! Phoebe Buffay : How old is your phonebook? Monica Geller : Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment! Phoebe Buffay : Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off! Roy : Are you talking about me? Monica Geller : Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy! Roy : Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? Did someone call for the long arm of the law? I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing! Roy : Whoa, whoa, whoa . She cringed! Phoebe Buffay : This is how I look when I'm turned on! Roy : You were talking about me before! Look, I don't need this! I'm outta here! Where's my hat? Look, I've been in this business for a long time! Phoebe Buffay : Shocking! Roy : Now if you just pay me my three hundred dollars, I'll be on my way! Phoebe Buffay : Three hundred dollars, are you kidding? Rachel Green : No, that's ok, let's me just get my check book! Phoebe Buffay : No, you're not gonna pay him, he didn't do anything! Roy : Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time! Phoebe Buffay : I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this. Roy : Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! Roy : I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath ... is all man. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry, did you say all man or old man? Roy : Oh, you're mean! Monica Geller : Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir... Roy : Damnit. OH! Big surprise! The hunk of beef has feelings! Donny Osmond : Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill. Joey Tribbiani : My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! Donny Osmond : Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. Pass. Pass. Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat. Henrietta : Uvula! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, then pass. Donny Osmond : O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani. Ross Geller : You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me? Chandler Bing : Excuse me. . That didn't make us sound gay at all! Ross Geller : You broke the pact! Chandler Bing : Ross, that was 16 years ago! Ross Geller : That doesn't matter! We're talking about the foundation of our friendship. Chandler Bing : I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts. Ross Geller : I didn't. Chandler Bing : Oh really? Ross Geller : No. Chandler Bing : Oh really!? Ross Geller : NO! Chandler Bing : ADRIENNE TURNER!! Adrienne : Yes? Chandler Bing : Hey! Hey Adrienne. Ross Geller : I never did anything with Adrienne Turner. Chandler Bing : Oh please, and you knew how much I liked her. Ross Geller : I don't know what... you're talking about. Chandler Bing : Really? Chandler Bing : Remember that big party? Freshman year? A week before Christmas vacation? I do. You had some visitors. Monica Geller : I can't believe we are at a real college party! I have to pee so bad! Rachel Green : This is so awesome! College guys are so cute! Monica Geller : Hey, you've got a boyfriend! Rachel Green : I know. But if some guy who looks like Corey Haim wants to kiss me tonight, I'm sooo gonna let them! Monica Geller : Look, there's Chandler. You knew, that stupid friend of Ross'. Said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds! Rachel Green : It... You can so totally tell. Monica Geller : I KNOW! Rachel Green : Well lets see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. Hey, how's it going . Chandler Bing : Aren't you...? Rachel Green : Yeah, Rachel. And this is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. . Chandler Bing : Right. So how're you doing? Rachel Green : Bitchin' Chandler Bing : Hi Monica. Monica Geller : Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you NOT. Chandler Bing : O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. Monica Geller : Oh my God Rach. Bean bag chairs. Rachel Green : Oh. Monica Geller : Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days. Ross Geller : Listen Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this. Adrienne : Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this. Ross Geller : Cool! Ross Geller : I didn't know you knew about that. Chandler Bing : Well, I did and it hurt. That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room". Ross Geller : Man... I... I'm sorry. Chandler Bing : Look it was a lo-o-ong time ago. Ross Geller : So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even. Chandler Bing : Hmm mmmhm.. Ross Geller : We are even, right? Chandler Bing : Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody? Ross Geller : What did you do to my mom? Chandler Bing : Not her! Rachel Green : I am sooo drunk. Monica Geller : That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. Chandler Bing : Soo... you girls having fun? Monica Geller : For your information, ass munch, I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing. Pizza Guy : SOMEBODY ORDER A PIZZA? Monica Geller : Oh THATS ME! Rachel Green : I am soo not going to do good on my SATs tomorrow. Chandler Bing : Well maybe if you go to school here next year we can totally hang out. Rachel Green : Oh yeah. There is a plan! Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now? Chandler Bing : Well, maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship. Rachel Green : Oh, what a line. Chandler Bing : So where are you applying to? Rachel Green : Oh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... Hey! Chandler Bing : I'm in college and I'm in a band. Rachel Green : Yeah okay. Roy : What's the matter? You never saw a 50 year old stripper cry before? Phoebe Buffay : You know, it's fine. We'll pay you. Roy : No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know. Rachel Green : No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have? Roy : I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame. Rachel Green : So maybe something in an office. Phoebe Buffay : Or you could teach stripping. You know, share your gift, pass the torch. Roy : You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind. Phoebe Buffay : There you go. Okay, do you think you're gonna be okay? Roy : Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it. Phoebe Buffay : Finish it! Roy : What? Phoebe Buffay : Your last dance. Do it for us. Roy : Really? Rachel Green : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah. He deserves to do the thing he loves one last time. Roy : Okay, all right... Get ready ladies! Phoebe Buffay : Oh this is so ho-o-ot! Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no, no, don't stop! Roy : Have to... Donny Osmond : Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah... Gene : Sure. Donny Osmond : Okay. Give me sixty seconds on the clock please... Ready, GO! Gene : Oak, maple, elm, birch... Joey Tribbiani : I-I-I don't know. Types of trees? Gene : Uhm... Buenos dias, enchilada, por favor... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know any Spanish words. Gene : A match, a candle... Joey Tribbiani : Things that go "tssst" when you put them out. Gene : A torch, a bonfire... uhm, your pee... Joey Tribbiani : Things that burn. Gene : "I'd like to go for a walk", uhm "scratch my belly". Joey Tribbiani : Dude, dude! I think you're losing it. Gene : Uhm, "I have fur", "I like to bark". Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, oh... What a dog says. Gene : Pepperoni... Joey Tribbiani : Pizza toppings, next! Gene : Cindy Crawford, Christie Brinkley, Heidi Klum, Claudia Schiffer... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh, oh... Gene : Christie Turlington, Kate Moss... Joey Tribbiani : Girls Chandler could never get? Gene : Supermodels! Joey Tribbiani : Where? Ross Geller : Hey, where's Rachel? Monica Geller : She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital. Ross Geller : Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel? Monica Geller : What? When was this? Ross Geller : Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school. Monica Geller : Oh my God! That's wild! Chandler Bing : Yeah, but it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't matter. Ross Geller : Well, it matters to me. Chandler Bing : Why? Ross Geller : Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time. Chandler Bing : You kissed her that night too? Monica Geller : Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed. Chandler Bing : Seriously, where did this happen? Ross Geller : Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first. Chandler Bing : Oh wait... What bed did you say she was on? Ross Geller : Mine. Chandler Bing : I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed. Ross Geller : No, she was definitely on my bed. Chandler Bing : Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed? Ross Geller : Well, then who was on my bed? Monica Geller : OH! Oh, oh! Ross Geller : NO! No, no! Monica Geller : YES! Ross Geller : You were under the pile of coats? Monica Geller : I was the pile of coats! Ross Geller : OH MY GOD! Monica Geller : You were my Midnight Mystery Kisser? Ross Geller : You were my first kiss with Rachel? Monica Geller : You were my first kiss ever? Chandler Bing : What did I marry into? Monica Geller : Oh, crap! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Uh, hey. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step dad's in prison. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Well, uhm... listen he was supposed to get a weekend furlough, so he'd come to the wedding tomorrow, but he just called and... uhm... well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the exercise yard just couldn't wait till Monday. Joey Tribbiani : So he can't come? Phoebe Buffay : No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it. Joey Tribbiani : Seriously? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom... Joey Tribbiani : I am pretty wisdomous. Phoebe Buffay : So... what do you say? Joey Tribbiani : Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me. Joey Tribbiani : Listen, I hope... that you know... I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM! Phoebe Buffay : Oh. Joey Tribbiani : Oh no, no, no, let your dad get this. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me! Monica Geller : Well, it matters to me! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I don't care, so you pick! Monica Geller : Did you just hung up on me? All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that. Monica Geller : You don't know military time? Phoebe Buffay : Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that. Monica Geller : Just subtract twelve. Phoebe Buffay : Ok, so... 1800 minus twelve is... one thousand, seven hundred and... Monica Geller : Six o'clock! Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Monica Geller : Ok. Hold on. Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture? Phoebe Buffay : Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding. Monica Geller : Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white. Phoebe Buffay : What harpist? My friend Marjorie is playing the steel drums. Monica Geller : Ooh... she backed out. Phoebe Buffay : She did? Why? Monica Geller : I made her. Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free. Chandler Bing : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Chandler Bing : You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us? Chandler Bing : No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding. Phoebe Buffay : Rehearse it! Ross Geller : Hi! Mike Hannigan : Thanks for coming you guys. Ross Geller : Oh, hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake. Mike Hannigan : Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch? Ross Geller : That is why! Mike Hannigan : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : So Rach. Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : Where is Emma? Rachel Green : Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix. Monica Geller : Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you're Mike's parents, right? Mike's Mother : Yes, we are. Joey Tribbiani : Ah, our little ones are growing up fast, uh? Mike's Father : How's that? Joey Tribbiani : You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go. Mike's Father : Who in God's name are you? Joey Tribbiani : Hey, I'm not that fond of you either, ok buddy? But I'm just trying to be nice for the kids! Chandler Bing : You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow. Ross Geller : Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid? Rachel Green : Uh... November? Ross Geller : I wanna say it's not looking good. Rachel Green : Hey Pheebs... Phoebe Buffay : What's up? Rachel Green : Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet. Chandler Bing : Heh. Phoebe Buffay : Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Well, this is really awkward Oh, and I can leave! Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut. Ross Geller : Oh, man! Chandler Bing : This is like figure skating team all over again. I mean synchronized swimming. I mean- I mean the balance beam. Help me! Ross Geller : FOOTBALL! Chandler Bing : Thank you. Monica Geller : Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian! Monica Geller : Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it! Phoebe Buffay : I don't have a fax machine. Monica Geller : Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises! Ross Geller : I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding. Chandler Bing : I know, I hate being left out of things. Ross Geller : And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it... Mike Hannigan : Hey guys, how is it going? Chandler Bing : Fine. We're just sitting here. Alone. Doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow. Mike Hannigan : Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it. Chandler Bing : What happened? Ross Geller : Who cares, AND? Mike Hannigan : ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... Ross Geller : I'll do it! Chandler Bing : M-Me-me-me! Mike Hannigan : You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one. Chandler Bing : Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus. Ross Geller : No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! Huh? Mike Hannigan : You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. Ross Geller : Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman. Chandler Bing : Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me! Ross Geller : Please, you're going down! Chandler Bing : You are going downer! Ross Geller : Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team? Chandler Bing : I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! Joey Tribbiani : So, you know I'm filling in for Phoebe's step dad, tomorrow, right? Mike Hannigan : Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, my pleasure. So what are your intentions with my Phoebe? Mike Hannigan : I intend to marry her. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, a wiseacre. . No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable? Mike Hannigan : No more so than acting. Joey Tribbiani : Strike two! Mike Hannigan : You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad? Joey Tribbiani : Strike three! You only get one more, Mike! Ross Geller : So, what did you decide? Phoebe Buffay : I decided to pee. Chandler Bing : Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out. Phoebe Buffay : Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much! Chandler Bing : Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's . Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today. Rachel Green : Goody, what is it! Phoebe Buffay : Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that. Rachel Green : What, what, what, no, I don't wanna do that. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid. Ross Geller : I'll do it! Monica Geller : Ok, it's 2100 hours. Time for your toast. Mike Hannigan : Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom? Monica Geller : You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! . Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out! Mike Hannigan : Is that what you say to Chandler? Monica Geller : It's 2101 and I am not amused. . Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. . My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here... Monica Geller : oh God. Phoebe Buffay : And... moment's over! So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I . Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS OR THIS OR THIS OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! You know what? You're done. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : YOU'RE FIRED! Cheers! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Rachel Green : Happy wedding day! Phoebe Buffay : Oh, happy my wedding day to you! Rachel Green : Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages! Monica Geller : Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid. Monica Geller : Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, this is a lot! Monica Geller : Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine. Phoebe Buffay : You won awards? Monica Geller : Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer. Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : Hi. Ross Geller : Where's Rach? Monica Geller : She's in her room, why? Ross Geller : I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! . Oh! My God! You're breathtaking! Rachel Green : What d'you want? Ross Geller : You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you? Rachel Green : Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is! Ross Geller : I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me! Rachel Green : Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too! Ross Geller : Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time! Rachel Green : Oh, you are the lesser of two evils! Ross Geller : YES, YES! Phoebe Buffay : Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins? Monica Geller : I know. . Mike Hannigan : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be? Mike Hannigan : Orchids? Phoebe Buffay : Right there! That's why I'm marrying you! Joey Tribbiani : Hello Michael. Mike Hannigan : Joseph. Joey Tribbiani : May I have a word with you, please? Mike Hannigan : This is... great... Joey Tribbiani : Have a seat. Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... I cannot allow this. Mike Hannigan : Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie? Joey Tribbiani : More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal." Mike Hannigan : Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want? Joey Tribbiani : I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her. Mike Hannigan : Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her. Joey Tribbiani : That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family. Mike Hannigan : That must have been one lousy movie. Joey Tribbiani : That was ME! Rachel Green : Hi. Chandler Bing : Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy! Rachel Green : Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross. Chandler Bing : Let me tell you why you need to pick me. See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back. Rachel Green : All right fine, I pick you. Chandler Bing : Y-Y-YEEESSS! Make "groom" for Chandler. Rachel Green : Oh my... Phoebe Buffay : No! We're gonna do it my way. Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. Hello? Joey Tribbiani : I'm glad we had this little talk. Mike Hannigan : Yes. Yeah and thanks for all the wedding night advice. That didn't make me uncomfortable at all! Alright, so I'll see everybody tonight? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Monica Geller : Bye. Mike Hannigan : Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall? Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, what's it doing here? Monica Geller : Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. Uh! What a pickle. Phoebe Buffay : Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me? Joey Tribbiani : How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? Chandler Bing : How's it going? Ross Geller : Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding. Chandler Bing : That's what I was doing too. Ross Geller : Well, you have fun tonight. Chandler Bing : You too. Ross Geller : Oh, I will. Chandler Bing : Me too. Ross Geller : Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you? Chandler Bing : I'm not supposed to tell you. Ross Geller : I'm not supposed to tell you! Chandler Bing : You told us both we could be in the wedding? Rachel Green : Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other. Ross Geller : Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. Chandler Bing : Rach, Rach, knock knock. Rachel Green : Who's there? Chandler Bing : I'll tell you at the wedding. Rachel Green : Uh. Mike Hannigan : Hey, I forgot my scarf. Rachel Green : You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick. Mike Hannigan : Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy. Ross Geller : What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose. Rachel Green : Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog. Phoebe Buffay : Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!? Monica Geller : How's it going? Phoebe Buffay : Help me. Monica Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : I want you to be Crazy Bitch again. Monica Geller : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Please? Monica Geller : You really want me to come back? Phoebe Buffay : More than I wanna get married. Monica Geller : Ok people, we are back in business! Oh God, we've missed you soo much! Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, what are you guys gonna do? Phoebe Buffay : About what? Joey Tribbiani : The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. Monica Geller : Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey! Joey Tribbiani : I don't think they are. Ross Geller : Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. So sorry Pheebs. Monica Geller : Well, the club lost it's power. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah according to the news, most of the city did. Rachel Green : Since when do you watch the news? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather girl. Ross Geller : I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Rachel Green : Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street? Phoebe Buffay : What? Rachel Green : Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted! Phoebe Buffay : What do you think? Mike Hannigan : I think I wanna get married to you today. Phoebe Buffay : Me too! Monica, do you think we could do it? Monica Geller : AFFIRMATIVE! Monica Geller : OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. Okay, who left the ice sculpture ON THE STEAM GRATE? Mike's Mom : Michael! Mike Hannigan : Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! Hi! Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of... Mike's Mom : No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever. Mike's Dad : I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... Come on, sweetheart. Mike Hannigan : You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle. Chandler Bing : So technically, would this person be in the wedding? Mike Hannigan : I guess. Chandler Bing : I'll do it! Ross Geller : No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs? Chandler Bing : I'm not scared. I'll just take little Chappy and... HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED. Ross Geller : Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... He stinks! Monica Geller : Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it. Mike Hannigan : Oh, no! Joey Tribbiani : Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding. Monica Geller : Really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Huhuh... Ross Geller : Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free. Joey Tribbiani : I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do. Monica Geller : Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle. Chandler Bing : I'll do it. Ross Geller : I'll... Chandler Bing : Na ha ha... Ne he he... Ah ah... Monica Geller : Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. Monica Geller : Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, okay. Hi new dad. Monica Geller : So, you're ready to do this? Phoebe Buffay : Uhuh, uhuh... Oh my God! This is really happening. Rachel Green : Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, thank you. Monica Geller : I love you. Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. Phoebe Buffay : I love you guys. Monica Geller : I love you. Monica Geller : Okay. It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. Let's get this bad boy on the road. Chandler Bing : Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight? Monica Geller : I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah! Monica Geller : Okay Marjorie, hit it. Rachel Green : Geez Ross, you could have showered. Ross Geller : It's the dog. Monica Geller : Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! Oh, that's me. Chandler Bing : Ready? Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, oh no. Wait. Chandler Bing : Wow! Aren't you gonna be cold? Phoebe Buffay : I don't care... I'll be my something blue. Chandler Bing : You look beautiful. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you. Mike Hannigan : My God! Aren't you freezing? Phoebe Buffay : Na-ah. Joey Tribbiani : Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings? Joey Tribbiani : Okay... Phoebe Buffay : When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. Mike Hannigan : Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. Phoebe Buffay : Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes. Mike Hannigan : I love you too. Ross Geller : Uh Joey... Joey Tribbiani : Yeah? Ross Geller : Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, okay. Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband? Phoebe Buffay : I do. Joey Tribbiani : Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife? Mike Hannigan : I do. Joey Tribbiani : I now pronounce you... husband and wife. Phoebe Buffay : I got married! Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing. Chandler Bing : That really was an incredible wedding. Joey Tribbiani : It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage? Chandler Bing : I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had. Joey Tribbiani : Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to. Ross Geller : Come on Chappy, do your business. MAKE! MA-AKE! I did not sign on for this. Phoebe Buffay : Hi. #ALL# : Hey! Hi! Rachel Green : How was the honeymoon? Phoebe; Oh, incredible! Oh! Champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach, it was sooo ro-man-tic! Rachel Green : Oh! Chandler Bing : So, where's Mike? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there! Joey Tribbiani : Well anyway, I'm glad you're back, I really need your help. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, why? What's up? Joey Tribbiani : I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my resume, I'm fluent in. Ross Geller : Joey, you shouldn't lie on your resume. Monica Geller : Yeah, you really shouldn't. By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo? Ross Geller : It was ok... Rachel Green : I did not know you spoke French. Phoebe Buffay : Oui, bien sur je parle Francais! Qu'est-ce que tu penses alors? Rachel Green : Oh... you're so sexy! Joey Tribbiani : Well, so, will you help me? I really wanna be in this play. Phoebe Buffay : Sure! Tout le plaisir est pour moi, mon ami. Rachel Green : Seriously stop it, or I'm gonna jump on ya. Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Chandler Bing : Why are you wearing my apron? Monica Geller : I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour. Chandler Bing : Oh, hey, when she gets here, is it ok if I introduce you two as "my wife" and "the woman who's carrying my child"? No? Divorce? Ross Geller : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey. Ross Geller : You guys know where Rachel is? Monica Geller : No, we haven't seen her since this morning. Ross Geller : So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. Monica Geller : Hey! Ross Geller : Hey! Monica Geller : These are for Erica! Ross Geller : What? She's gonna eat all those cookies? Monica Geller : Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat! Ross Geller : So, why is Erica coming to visit? Monica Geller : Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building... Chandler Bing : Oh, those places! There's always so many people, their being corralled like cattle, and... you know, there's always some idiot who goes "Mooooo"! Monica Geller : Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it? Ross Geller : Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late! Rachel Green : Ross... Ross Geller : No, no, no, I'm sure you have a great excuse, wh-was it a hair appointment, a mani-pedi or was there a sale at Barney's? Rachel Green : My father had an heart attack... ...while I was at Barney's. Ross Geller : Oh my God. Monica Geller : Honey. Chandler Bing : I'm so sorry... Ross Geller : Is-is he ok? Rachel Green : Yeah, they said he's gonna be fine, but he's still heavily sedated. Ross Geller : Ok, ok. I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you, I mean, you can't be alone right now. Rachel Green : No, come on, I'm totally ok. I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own. Ross Geller : Still-still, let me come... for me. Rachel Green : Ok. If you really need to. Ross Geller : I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies. Rachel Green : Oh, I really could. Ross Geller : Oh! Rachel Green : Ohh... Phoebe Buffay : All right, it seems pretty simple. Your first line is "My name is Claude", so, just repeat after me. "Je m'appelle Claude". Joey Tribbiani : Je de coup Clow. Phoebe Buffay : Well, just... let's try it again. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Phoebe Buffay : Je m'appelle Claude. Joey Tribbiani : Je depli mblue. Phoebe Buffay : Uh. It's not... quite what I'm saying. Joey Tribbiani : Really? It sounds exactly the same to me. Phoebe Buffay : It does, really? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : All right, let just try it again. Really listen. Joey Tribbiani : Got it. Phoebe Buffay : Je m'appelle Claude. Joey Tribbiani : Je te flouppe Fli. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, mon Dieu! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, de fuff! Monica Geller : Hey you guys. Phoebe Buffay : Hi! Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Monica Geller : I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby! Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Monica Geller : Joey. Erica, baby! Joey Tribbiani : Hi. Monica Geller : Everyone. Erica, baby! Chandler Bing : Monica. Calm, self. Erica : Thank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't believe I'm here! Joey Tribbiani : Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"? Chandler Bing : Why would you say that? Phoebe Buffay : Ok. What are you gonna be doing today? Erica : I wanna see everything! Times Square, Coney Island, Rockefeller Center... Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you know what you should do? You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty. Erica : Oh yeah, let's do that! Chandler Bing : Great! This baby'd better to be really good. Rachel Green : Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green. Ross Geller : And I'm Doctor Ross Geller. Rachel Green : Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here. Rachel Green : Can somebody please go in? Nurse : Absolutely. Ross Geller : Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him. Rachel Green : Ross, please, don't be so scared of him! Ross Geller : I'm not scared of him, I'm really sick! Nurse : He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out. Ross Geller : I'm feeling better. Rachel Green : Oh! Oh! Oh my God! Ohhh, ohhh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh? Nurse : Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him. Rachel Green : Oh, great, Are you gonna be ok? Ross Geller : He's unconscious, I think we'll be just fine! Rachel Green : Ok. Ross Geller : Did the TV wake you? Leonard Green : No, when you put your feet up in my bed, you tugged on my catheter. Ross Geller : Ouchy. Leonard Green : What are you doing here, Geller? Ross Geller : Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! So what's new? Leonard Green : Ooh, I have a little heart attack. Ross Geller : Right, is it painful? Leonard Green : What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you? Ross Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here. Leonard Green : So what's new with you, uh, knocked up any more of my daughters lately? Ross Geller : Nope, just the one. RACH! Phoebe Buffay : Je m'appelle Claude. Joey Tribbiani : Je do call blue! Phoebe Buffay : Noooo! Ok, maybe if we just break it down. Ok, let's try at one syllable at a time. Ok? So repeat after me. "je". Joey Tribbiani : je. Phoebe Buffay : m'ap. Joey Tribbiani : mah. Phoebe Buffay : pelle. Joey Tribbiani : pel. Phoebe Buffay : Great, ok faster! "je" Joey Tribbiani : je. Phoebe Buffay : m'ap. Joey Tribbiani : mah. Phoebe Buffay : pelle. Joey Tribbiani : pel. Phoebe Buffay : Je m'appelle! Joey Tribbiani : Me pooh pooh! Phoebe Buffay : Ok, it's too hard, I can't teach you! Joey Tribbiani : What are you doing? Phoebe Buffay : I, I have to go before I put your head through a wall. Joey Tribbiani : Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! . Pooh. Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : I was gonna make us some dinner but all I found in your dad's fridge was bacon and heavy cream. I think we solved the mystery of the heart attack. Rachel Green : Uh. Did you call your parents? Ross Geller : Oh, yeah. Emma's doing great. Rachel Green : Oh good. Ross Geller : Wow. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room. Rachel Green : What do you mean? You've been in my room before! Ross Geller : Yeah, sure, right! Like I've ever been in Rachel Green's room. Rachel Green : Ok I gotta tell ya, it's really weird when you use my whole name. Ross Geller : Sorry. . You ok? Rachel Green : Yeah. Ross Geller : You had a rough day, uh? Rachel Green : Yeah, just so weird seeing him like that, you know? I mean he is a doctor, you don't expect doctors to get sick! Ross Geller : But we do! It's gonna be ok, Rach! Rachel Green : Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital! Ross Geller : What? No, no! Hey, hey, hey look... Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok? Rachel Green : Really, I shouldn't feel guilty? Ross Geller : No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest. Rachel Green : Ok, maybe you're right. Ross Geller : Good night. Rachel Green : Wait, wait, wait, wait. Would you stay here with me for a little while? Ross Geller : Sure! Rachel Green : Ok. Thank you for coming with me today. Ross Geller : Oh, of course... Rachel Green : Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room! Ross Geller : Me too. Come here. Rachel Green : I just don't want to be alone tonight. Ross Geller : Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or... Oh, oh. . No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea. Rachel Green : Wait, we won't know that until we do it, will we? Ross Geller : No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right, I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you. Rachel Green : Taking advantage? I'm giving you the advantage, enjoy! Ross Geller : Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go! Rachel Green : Wow. Ok. Ross Geller : I'll see you in the morning . Rachel Green : Mhm-mh! Ross Geller : Haven't had sex in four months, I should get a medal for that! Erica : Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming. Chandler Bing : New York is awesome! Monica Geller : What is with you? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know. Monica Geller : Yeah, you miss alot, when you're moo-ing. Erica : Thanks so much for showing me around. Monica Geller : Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you. Erica : Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... Chandler Bing : Oh, uhm, okay, uhm, do you mind if we ask you some questions about the father? Erica : Oh, sure. Yeah, well, he was my high school boyfriend. Captain of the football team, really cute and he got a scholarship and went off to college. Chandler Bing : That's great. Erica : Yeah... it's almost definitely him. Monica Geller : How's that now? Erica : Well, there is a chance it's another guy. I mean, I have only ever been with two guys, but they sorta overlapped. Chandler Bing : So, what does the other guy do? Does he go to college too? Erica : No, he's in prison. Monica Geller : Was he falsely accused of something? Erica : No... he killed his father with a shovel. But other than that, he's a great guy. Chandler Bing : I'll bet his dad doesn't think so. Monica Geller : Are you awake? Chandler Bing : Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake! Monica Geller : Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy. Chandler Bing : Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel-killer. Monica Geller : Alright, lets say that it is him, would we not want the baby? No! Would we treat him any differently? Chandler Bing : I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is. Monica Geller : How? Chandler Bing : I dunno, aren't there tests for these things, right? Monica Geller : Yeah, but maybe we're just over-reacting. Chandler Bing : Pff, easy for you to say, he's a father killer. He probably loves him mommy. He's probably got a tattoo that says "mom" on his shovel-wielding arm! Tape : We will now count from one to five. Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq. Joey Tribbiani : Huh, un, blu, bla, flu, flenk! Tape : Good job. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday and I thought about it a lot and, and I know, I was too impatient. SO lets try it again. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good! Phoebe Buffay : Really, can I hear some of it. Joey Tribbiani : Sure, sure. Ok, "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" See? Phoebe Buffay : Well, you're not, You're not... you're not... again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH! Joey Tribbiani : Oh well I think I am, yeah and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part. Phoebe Buffay : How could you possibly think that? Joey Tribbiani : For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job! Ross Geller : Hey Rach, can you grab me a cup of coffee? Rachel Green : Sure. Ross Geller : You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay? Rachel Green : Hmm-hmm. Ross Geller : You sure you're alright? Rachel Green : Yep. Ross Geller : O-kay. Well, I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast. Rachel Green : FYI.. Ross Geller : There it is... Rachel Green : In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. Ross Geller : Wait, wait, You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing. Rachel Green : Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied! Ross Geller : Well... Rachel Green : Oh stop that! Ross Geller : I can't believe this. I was just being a good guy. I treated you with respect and understanding. Rachel Green : Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side) Ross Geller : Hey, I was looking out for you. Rachel Green : Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me. Ross Geller : I gotta say, I have not had sex a lot of times before, this is the worst ever. Rachel Green : Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. Ross Geller : Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : That's right, sex is off the table. I am never having sex with you again. Dr. Green, are you feeling better? Chandler Bing : Hey! How was lunch? Erica : We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob. Chandler Bing : Oh, really? Erica : No! You we're right, that was fun! I'm gonna go finish packing. Chandler Bing : O-okay. So, is she gonna take the test? Monica Geller : Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is. Chandler Bing : Oh God. It's shovely-Joe, isn't it? Monica Geller : No it's not. Chandler Bing : How do you know? Erica : Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way. Chandler Bing : Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do? Monica Geller : The thing we never do. Chandler Bing : Shovely Joe! Director : Whenever you're ready Joey. Joey Tribbiani : Right. Dja bu bu Claude. Uh, c'est la pu les la lu blah bloo. Casting Assistant : I'm sorry, what's going on? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, come on! French it u-up! Director : Joey, do you speak French? Joey Tribbiani : Toutes la smore! Bu blu-ay bloo blah ooh! Pfoof! Director : You know what. I think this audition is over. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Regine Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estee Lauder. Director : You really think this man is speaking French? Joey Tribbiani : Sa-sa-saw! Phoebe Buffay : Ecoutez, je vais vous dire la verite. C'est mon petit frere. Il est un peu retarde. Phoebe Buffay : Alors, si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui... Director : Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part. Joey Tribbiani : Ah. All right. But my French was good? Director : It was great. Joey Tribbiani : Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See! Phoebe Buffay : Merci. Au revoir. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah-hah. Toute-de-le-fruit. Ross Geller : Emma's down for the night. Rachel Green : Oh, good. Ross Geller : So uh... I guess I wanna take off. Rachel Green : Okay... Hey listen, just before you go I-I again, I just wanna say "thank you" for coming with me. Ross Geller : Oh, no problem. Rachel Green : And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again. Ross Geller : Thank you. I'm glad you agree. Rachel Green : It's a shame though, I mean, when we did it, it was pretty good. Ross Geller : Yeah... Yeah, that's true. Rachel Green : Hey uhm, do you remember that one really great time...? Ross Geller : Oh, ye-ah! Rachel Green : You know it was you're uhm... birthday... Ross Geller : ...Valentine's day... Both : Oh yeah! Rachel Green : Well, I guess that's all in the past, now. Ross Geller : Hmmm-mmmm. Rachel Green : Not even one more time? Ross Geller : Not even once. Rachel Green : No matter how much we want it. Ross Geller : Even if we want it really bad. Rachel Green : That's what we decided. Ross Geller : Uhm, right! Rachel Green : ...It's kinda hard though! Ross Geller : Yeah. Rachel Green : You know, when two people have a connection, you know, that's... just seems like such a... waste. Ross Geller : ...I hate waste. Rachel Green : ...Ross? Ross Geller : Yes? Rachel Green : Just so you know... With us... it's never off the table. Ross Geller : Damn it. It's never off the table. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, can you really tapdance? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : It's off the resume. Phoebe Buffay : Archery? Joey Tribbiani : No. Phoebe Buffay : Horseback riding? Joey Tribbiani : Would fall off a lot. Phoebe Buffay : You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds? Joey Tribbiani : That I can do. Phoebe Buffay : Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds? Joey Tribbiani : All right, watch me! Okay, you time me. Ready? Phoebe Buffay : Ready... GO! Phoebe Buffay : You did it! Mike Hannigan : Thank you guys for having us over. Phoebe Buffay : Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night. Chandler Bing : Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often. Monica Geller : Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away. Chandler Bing : You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. Ross Geller : Hey, you guys... I have great news. Monica Geller : Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here. Ross Geller : Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! Guess what happened at work today... Chandler Bing : A dinosaur died a million years ago? Ross Geller : Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good. Phoebe Buffay : Wow! Ross Geller : Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid. Rachel Green : Hi you guys. #ALL# : Hey. Rachel Green : Ooh, Italian! Monica Geller : No one wanted seconds, right? Ross Geller : No, no. I-I'm good. Rachel Green : Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me. Ross Geller : I'm up for tenure. Rachel Green : Congratulations! Ross Geller : You too! What are the odds? Rachel Green : Ooh! Joey Tribbiani : Guess what? I finally got that seed out of my teeth. Monica Geller : I don't know who I'm happiest for... Phoebe Buffay : I do, he's been working on that all day! Phoebe Buffay : Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing? Monica Geller : No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. Phoebe Buffay : Where did you go to do it? Monica Geller : Uhm the... the ministry... of names... bureau... Chandler Bing : YOU NEVER DID IT! Monica Geller : I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing. Chandler Bing : Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me. Mike Hannigan : Here you go. Phoebe Buffay : Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name? Mike Hannigan : Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it. Phoebe Buffay : All right, let's see, call me mrs Hannigan. Chandler Bing : Mrs Hannigan? Phoebe Buffay : What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it. Joey Tribbiani : Hey guys. Chandler Bing : Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us? Joey Tribbiani : No, thank you. Monica Geller : All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house. Chandler Bing : Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city. Joey Tribbiani : But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map. Monica Geller : Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us. Joey Tribbiani : You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN! Chandler Bing : Damn it. Monica Geller : See you guys later. Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Monica Geller : I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming. Phoebe Buffay : Good for you. That was really mature. Joey Tribbiani : What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here. Mike Hannigan : You're a strange kind of grown-up. Phoebe Buffay : Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just... Mike Hannigan : Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now? Phoebe Buffay : All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it? Joey Tribbiani : I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! Rachel Green : Hi, I'm here to see mr Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing. Maitre D' : Mr Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table. Rachel Green : Oh my God! That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else. Maitre D' : I'm sorry. That's always mr Campbell's table. Rachel Green : But my... but my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job. Maitre D' : I know. With Gukki. Rachel Green : Sssshhhh! Mr. Zelner : Rachel? Rachel Green : Hi... I'm on a date... Mr. Zelner : That's great! Rachel Green : Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there. Mr. Zelner : Well, you got uhm... good energy. Rachel Green : Oh. Mr. Campbell : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yes, hi! Mr. Campbell : James Campbell... Rachel Green : Hi! Excuse us. Mr. Campbell : Please... Rachel Green : Okay. Oh, yeah... Oh he's cute! Mr. Campbell : So... your resume is quite impressive. Rachel Green : Wha... My resume? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resume. Mr. Campbell : Dating profile? I-I-I'm talking about the work resume. Rachel Green : Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? Huh? Mr. Campbell : Maybe people... found it weird.... So, why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren? Rachel Green : What? I-I don't. Mr. Campbell : You don't? Rachel Green : No, I-I-I love it there. Mr. Campbell : Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch? Mr. Campbell : What? Mr. Campbell : That's Hugo Boss? Phoebe Buffay : This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. But you obviously haven't. Clerk : How can I help you? Phoebe Buffay : I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. You're fun. Clerk : You need to fill out this form. Phoebe Buffay : Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay? Clerk : It can be anything you want. Phoebe Buffay : Well, not anything, I mean... Clerk : Yeah... anything. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this could take a while. Clerk : Get out of my line. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey Pheebs. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, not anymore. I changed it today. Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry, mrs Hannigan. Phoebe Buffay : Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock. Chandler Bing : That's what we were gonna name the baby. Monica Geller : Phoebe! Phoebe Buffay : Uh! Princess Consuela. Monica Geller : You seriously changed your name to that? Phoebe Buffay : Uh-huh! Monica Geller : Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela? Phoebe Buffay : Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie. Chandler Bing : Hey, how'd the interview go? Rachel Green : Oh! It's not good. Chandler Bing : You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think. Rachel Green : Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren. Chandler Bing : That is a bad interview. Phoebe Buffay : What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen? Rachel Green : Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true. Monica Geller : Oh God. I'm so sorry. Ross Geller : Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here? Phoebe Buffay : Ross... Ross Geller : I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE! #ALL# : Congratulations! Ross Geller : This is the single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, six glasses! Gunther : Six? You want me to join you? Ross Geller : Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow. Chandler Bing : Ooh! Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla! Ross Geller : I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go? Rachel Green : Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days. Ross Geller : Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it. Phoebe Buffay : Can you? Rachel Green : Ah, all right. Here's to Ross! Ross Geller : And-and to years of hard work finally paying off. Phoebe Buffay : And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. Ross Geller : But also knowing it means a lot. Monica Geller : But more importantly to full well-rounded lives. Ross Geller : ...that center around work. Chandler Bing : To Ross! #ALL# : Ross! Ross Geller : You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired. Phoebe Buffay : Oh God! Ross Geller : No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me. Rachel Green : No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job. Ross Geller : Rach, I'm so sorry. Rachel Green : Oh! Ross Geller : Great. I feel like an idiot. Rachel Green : No, it's okay, you didn't know. Ross Geller : Oh... Little heads-up would have been nice. Monica Geller : Thank you for letting us see the house again. Chandler Bing : And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you. Realtor : Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. Monica Geller : Ah, so glad you decided to come. Joey Tribbiani : Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus. Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it. Monica Geller : No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason. Monica Geller : Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here. Joey Tribbiani : Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. Monica Geller : No it's not! Joey Tribbiani : Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner! Chandler Bing : When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter. Monica Geller : Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here. Joey Tribbiani : FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Monica Geller : Joey, we know that's you. Joey Tribbiani : no... hmmmmm... it's not... hmmmmmmmmmm. Mike Hannigan : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Welcome back! Mike Hannigan : Ah! I missed you. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, me too! Mike Hannigan : So, what's new? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay. Mike Hannigan : That's great! You changed you name? Phoebe Buffay : Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! Mike Hannigan : You're kidding right? Phoebe Buffay : Nope. Mike Hannigan : You really did that? Phoebe Buffay : Yep. Mike Hannigan : Yeah, but you can't do that. Phoebe Buffay : Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it. Mike Hannigan : Alright, then I'm gonna change my name. Phoebe Buffay : Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to? Mike Hannigan : Crap Bag. Phoebe Buffay : Mike Crap Bag? Mike Hannigan : No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag. Phoebe Buffay : You're not serious, right? Mike Hannigan : Yeah, I'm serious. It's fun, it's different and no-one else has a name like that! Phoebe Buffay : Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it. Mike Hannigan : I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela. Phoebe Buffay : And I love Crap. Joey Tribbiani : Ow! Girl : Who are you? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you? Girl : I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house. Joey Tribbiani : Oh. Mackenzie : I hate my parents. Joey Tribbiani : I hate my friends. Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening. Mackenzie : Like what? Joey Tribbiani : Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted! Mackenzie : What are you? Eight? Joey Tribbiani : Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea. Mackenzie : I don't have any great ideas. I am eight. Joey Tribbiani : Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean? Mackenzie : I really don't. Joey Tribbiani : What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends. Mackenzie : My parents say I'm gonna make new friends. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways. Mackenzie : This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. Look, you want your friends to be happy, right? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, I guess. Mackenzie : Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, maybe. Mackenzie : Then you gotta let them go. Joey Tribbiani : I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart? Mackenzie : I read a lot. Joey Tribbiani : Just when I thought we could be friends. Man : Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry. Rachel Green : Oh, thank you... Man : You still don't know my name, do you? Rachel Green : Well, now I don't have to. Rachel Green : Ross, what is taking you so long? Ross Geller : I'm sorry, it's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway! Mark Robinson : Rachel? Rachel Green : Mark? Oh my God! Mark Robinson : How've you been? Rachel Green : I'm fantastic. You remember Ross? Mark Robinson : Sure, sure. What's with the chair. Ross Geller : Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... Mark Robinson : Clever. So how are you? Rachel Green : Oh, well, you're not catching me on my best day. Mark Robinson : Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't exactly say big promotion. Rachel Green : No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work. Mark Robinson : Are you sure, because we may have something at Louis Vuitton. Rachel Green : Well, screw charity work. What've you got? Mark Robinson : Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it? Rachel Green : Great! I'll call ya! Mark Robinson : Nice to see you. Ross Geller : Yeah! yeah, I got tenure! Rachel Green : Oh my God! Ross Geller : See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before? Rachel Green : Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him. Ross Geller : That is Mark? Rachel Green : Yes. Ross Geller : I hate that guy. Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him. Rachel Green : What? You don't want me to get a job? Ross Geller : Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his SEXretary. Rachel Green : Ugh. Ross Geller : I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay? Rachel Green : Ross, you know what? Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. Monica Geller : Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences. Chandler Bing : Man, those two dogs are going at it! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : Hey. Monica Geller : Hey, where have you been? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great. Chandler Bing : Really? What changed your mind? Joey Tribbiani : Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. Chandler Bing : Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Ha! I'm just messing with you. Joey Tribbiani : That's not funny! You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts! Monica Geller : Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room? Joey Tribbiani : What? I get my own room? Chandler Bing : You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room do you? Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing? Chandler Bing : No! Joey Tribbiani : Why not? I'll keep the tank clean. Mike Hannigan : After you, miss Banana Hammock. Phoebe Buffay : Thank you, mister Bag. Woman : Oh hey, how are you? Phoebe Buffay : Oh hi Rita! Good! Oh, Rita's a massage client. Mike Hannigan : Oh! Why don't you introduce me? Phoebe Buffay : Er, Rita, this is my husband. Rita : Oh! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. Mike Hannigan : Why don't you tell her my name? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, I will. This is my husband Crap Bag. Rita : Crap Bag? Mike Hannigan : If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap. Rita : Okay. Excuse me... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again? Mike Hannigan : Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe Buffay : How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan? Mike Hannigan : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan Banana Hammock. Mike Hannigan : Do you even know what a banana hammock is? Phoebe Buffay : It's a funny word. Mike Hannigan : It's a Speedo. Phoebe Buffay : ...Oh crap! Ross Geller : Hey, is Rachel here? Monica Geller : No. Ross Geller : She's still at dinner? Monica Geller : I guess. Why? Who's she with? Ross Geller : That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her. Chandler Bing : It's seven years ago. My time machine works! Ross Geller : We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants. Monica Geller : So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute. Chandler Bing : Excuse me? Monica Geller : Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time. Chandler Bing : For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents. Monica Geller : Oh, sorry! Rachel Green : Hi you guys! Ross Geller : Hey, so uhm... How was dinner? Rachel Green : Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet. Ross Geller : Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want? Rachel Green : Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins. Ross Geller : Should we send something? Chandler Bing : How did the job stuff go? Rachel Green : He offered me one. Chandler Bing : That's great! Ross Geller : Congratulations! Rachel Green : I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great... Ross Geller : Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest. Rachel Green : The job is in Paris. Joey Tribbiani : I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies? Mackenzie : I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. Joey Tribbiani : Hey bear, I need some career advice. Chandler Bing : How did the job stuff go? Rachel Green : He offered me one. Ross Geller : You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest. Rachel Green : The job is in Paris. FADE OUT. Rachel Green : Oh, God! Please, somebody say something. Ross Geller : So if you take this job you'll be moving to Paris? Chandler Bing : Or facing a bitch of a commute. Rachel Green : I know, it's huge, and it's scary, and it's... really far, far away from you guys, but this is such an incredible opportunity for me. And I've already talked to them about our situation with Emma, and they said they'll do whatever we need to make us feel comfortable. Ross Geller : Okay. Rachel Green : I mean, I'll fly back and forth, they'll fly you out... Anything we want. Chandler Bing : My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. Ross Geller : All right, we'll work it out. Rachel Green : Thank you! Thank you! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah! You sure this is what you want? Rachel Green : I think it is. Phoebe Buffay : Ooh, what's going on? Rachel Green : I got a really incredible job offer. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, great! All right! Phoebe Buffay : Good for you! Rachel Green : It's in Paris. Joey Tribbiani : What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married Congratulations! ... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs... Monica Geller : Hey, this afternoon you said you'd be supportive... Joey Tribbiani : Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it. Rachel Green : Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board. Phoebe Buffay : Of course we can. Congratulations. Yay! Joey... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no. My hugs are reserved for people STAYING IN AMERICA. Rachel Green : Joey, it would mean so... Joey Tribbiani : Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. Rachel Green : Joey... Phoebe Buffay : You okay with this? Chandler Bing : Well, it makes me feel sad, but... Phoebe Buffay : Talking to Ross. Chandler Bing : I see. Ross Geller : Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this? Monica Geller : I know, but what are we gonna do? She really needs this job. Ross Geller : Do you think if the Ralph Lauren people offered her her old job back, she would take it? Monica Geller : How is that gonna happen? Chandler Bing : Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes? Ross Geller : I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off. Monica Geller : You mean the guy who kept calling you Ron? Ross Geller : I didn't say we were brothers. Monica Geller : Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't. Chandler Bing : We close escrow tomorrow, so seeing another house can only confuse us, and we're easily confused. We're not very bright. Monica Geller : But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look? Chandler Bing : What do you think Pheebs? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard? Chandler Bing : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : She died. Chandler Bing : You're kidding! Monica Geller : That's terrible! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, she was just an agent. Monica Geller : Joey's gonna be *so* upset. Chandler Bing : I know. *He* always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic. Phoebe Buffay : Well, we cannot tell Joey about this. He's already flipping out about everything that's changing. This will push him over the edge. Monica Geller : Seriously, you don't think we should tell him? Phoebe Buffay : Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else. Monica Geller : What if he reads it in the paper? Chandler Bing : Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay. Mr. Zelner : May I help you? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Green's. Uhm, actually we met at the Christmas party about two years ago. Mr. Zelner : Oh right, uhm, Don? Ross Geller : Close. Ron. Mr. Zelner : Uh... What can I do for you? Ross Geller : Uhm, well... I'm here to see if you'll give Rachel her job back. Mr. Zelner : Ah, did she ask you to come here and do this? Ross Geller : Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back. Mr. Zelner : Wow, that is tempting. Ross Geller : Look, she loved her job here. And let's face it: you're not gonna find anyone who did it as well as she did it. Isn't that true? Mr. Zelner : She is good! Ross Geller : Huh, I took a shot there. Mr. Zelner : But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do. Ross Geller : I see... Thanks very much. Is this your son? Mr. Zelner : Yeah, his name is Ross. What? Ross Geller : Oh, nothing, it's just, it's close to Ron. Does he.. Does little Ross like dinosaurs by any chance? Mr. Zelner : Yeah, they're all he talks about, why? Ross Geller : How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. . I just heard it as you must have heard it and that's not good. Let me start again. I'm a paleontologist, you'll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones... fossils! Mr. Zelner : You can really arrange that? Ross Geller : You let Rachel come back, and it's done. Mr. Zelner : Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Ross Geller : Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life. Mr. Zelner : That's great. I worry about little Ross. He's always reading, he's collecting rocks and he's obsessed with dinosaurs. Ross Geller : He'll be fine. Joey Tribbiani : Hey Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Everything ok? Joey Tribbiani : I'm just mad at my agent. Phoebe Buffay : Estelle? Why? Joey Tribbiani : There's a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn't even be put up for it! She'd better have a good reason. Phoebe Buffay : I'm guessing she does. Joey Tribbiani : Well I'm wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this. Phoebe Buffay : Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her. Joey Tribbiani : Ok. Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason. Joey Tribbiani : I love that saying! . Joey Tribbiani : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Joey, it's Estelle. Joey Tribbiani : I was just gonna call you! That's weird. Phoebe Buffay : It's a little coincidental, but believable. . Listen, I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't get you an audition for that TV movie. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, actually I am! Phoebe Buffay : I guess I dropped the ball there. Whoopsie! Joey Tribbiani : That's it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball. Phoebe Buffay : Don't take that tone with me. Who you think you are? Alan Lemond, the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic? Joey Tribbiani : No, no, look. All I'm saying is that you're my agent, ok? And you're not getting me into any auditions and I'm tired of it. Phoebe Buffay : What are you saying? Joey Tribbiani : I'm saying that... . This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you're fired. Goodbye. . Phoebe Buffay : Man, tough week for Estelle! Ross Geller : Hi. Rachel Green : Hi. Ross Geller : Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can't sleep without it. Rachel Green : Oh, well, she's asleep now. Stop forcing that thing on her. Ross Geller : Ok. Rachel Green : Oh, you're not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back! Ross Geller : Nooo! Rachel Green : Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me. Ross Geller : So, you're not going to Paris. Rachel Green : No, I'm still going. Ross Geller : Wh... wh...what? Rachel Green : When the Louis Vuitton people found out that Ralph Lauren wanted me back, the offered me more money! Isn't that great? Ross Geller : Yeeeah! Monica Geller : Hi. We're buying the house next door, and we were wondering if we could just take a look around. Lady : Oh, sure. I'm showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around. Monica Geller : Thanks. Chandler Bing : It feels like we're cheating on our house. And if we're gonna cheat, shouldn't it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won't do? Monica Geller : Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole! Lady : So? What do you think? Monica Geller : Love it! Lady : Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one. Monica Geller : They could be our neighbors, what are they like? Lady : Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she... Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh my God! . Chandler Bing : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Hey Joey, want come with me to... are you ok? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I just... I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her. Phoebe Buffay : No, that wouldn't kill her. Ordinary embolism might. Joey Tribbiani : I don't know. She's got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I'm guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she's not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I'm gonna call her and hire her again. Phoebe Buffay : No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you. Joey Tribbiani : Why? Phoebe Buffay : Because patience is the road to understanding which ... is the key... to a happy heart. Joey Tribbiani : You blow me away. Phoebe Buffay : All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you? Joey Tribbiani : I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. Janice Litman Goralnik : What a small world! Chandler Bing : And yet I never run into Beyonce! Realtor : You two know each other? Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! . So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie. Chandler Bing : Don't, don't! Monica Geller : No, actually, we're buying the house next door. Chandler Bing : Why!? Monica Geller : I don't know why. Janice Litman Goralnik : Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. Chandler Bing : This can not be happening! Monica Geller : Okay, the realtor said another couple made an offer. Maybe the Janice's won't get it! Maybe the other couple will. Chandler Bing : The only way that that is going to happen, is if the other couple are the Hitlers. Monica Geller : Okay, Okay, All right. What if we got both houses? Huh? We can turn this house into a guest house. Chandler Bing : That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!? Monica Geller : Okay, you come up with an idea. Chandler Bing : Alright alright, we still have three hours till escrow closes on our house. We can still get out. Monica Geller : But we love our house. Chandler Bing : Will we love it so much with her next door? And she's gonna be louder out here too. Just the crickets and "Oh My God"! Monica Geller : Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. Chandler Bing : Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. Oh, that does it too. Mr. Zelner : Who is it? Ross Geller : It's me. Ron. Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back. Mr. Zelner : This may surprise you, but re-hiring fired employees, is not my main job. Ross Geller : Just hear me out. How would you feel about offering her a raise? Mr. Zelner : Not good, Ron. Ross Geller : Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this genuine pterodactyl egg replica. Mr. Zelner : Wow, that's pretty cool. Ross Geller : Huh? So? We have a deal? Mr. Zelner : Okay, you got it. Ross Geller : Yes! yes! Mr. Zelner : This is gonna make me very popular. Ross Geller : Oh, Believe me, the ladies, they love it! Mr. Zelner : I meant with my son. Ross Geller : Good, 'cause the ladies, not so much. Answering Machine : Joey, this is Al T. Booker, the guy who eats paper. I'm sure you've heard that Estelle passed away. I wanted to let you know there's a memorial for her at the Westside chapel, tomorrow at ten. Hope you can make it. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Joey, it's Estelle. Joey Tribbiani : Estelle? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me. Joey Tribbiani : Ok-ay. I just, I can't believe you're calling me? Phoebe Buffay : Well, I didn't think I should just drop by... Joey Tribbiani : No, no, no! Don't drop by, don't drop by! Phoebe Buffay : Anyway, you did what you had to do. I'm okay. Joey Tribbiani : Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there? Phoebe Buffay : It's alright. Look kiddo, I gotta go. Good luck with the career. You're gonna be huge. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks for everything Estelle. Bye. "out of area". Boy, I'll say. Janice Litman Goralnik : Well... I just talked to Sid, we are definitely putting in an offer on the house... a-a-and I'll bet we get it. Chandler Bing : The Hitlers will be so disappointed. Janice Litman Goralnik : All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. Chandler Bing : Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh, me too... Chandler Bing : Because... that way... we can pick up where we left off. Janice Litman Goralnik : Huh? Chandler Bing : I never stopped loving you. Janice Litman Goralnik : Oh... my... Chandler Bing : Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler, what are you talking about? Chandler Bing : Now that you live next door, we can be together every day. Sid and Monica never have to know a thing. Janice Litman Goralnik : I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us. Chandler Bing : Obviously. Janice Litman Goralnik : But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now. Chandler Bing : Don't say that. Don't tangle the dream and take it away. Janice Litman Goralnik : Chandler, one of us has got to be strong. Chandler Bing : I understand. Janice Litman Goralnik : Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... Goodbye Chandler Bing. Chandler Bing : They're never coming down now. Rachel Green : Hi! Ross Geller : Hey! Rachel Green : You are never going to believe what happened to me today. Ross Geller : What? Rachel Green : Ralph Lauren called again and they offered me more money. Ross Geller : They did? Rachel Green : Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in. Ross Geller : So, what are you gonna do? Rachel Green : Well, I took it. Ross Geller : That's great! So you're staying in New York! Both : YAY! WHOO! YAY! Ross Geller : You're excited, right? Rachel Green : Ye-ah. Yeah! You know, the money's great. It's certainly the easier choice... Ross Geller : Right! Rachel Green : Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... Ross Geller : Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared. Rachel Green : Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. Ross Geller : You should go. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : It's what you want. You should go. Rachel Green : You really think so? Ross Geller : I really do. Rachel Green : But I already told Zelner that I would come back... Ross Geller : I'm sure he'll understand. Rachel Green : All right. ALL RIGHT! I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go to Paris. Ross Geller : Yeah... Rachel Green : Yeah! I'm going to Paris. Thank you, Ross! Ross Geller : Yeah, yeah, oh! Rachel Green : Oh! Oh, I'm so happy. Ross Geller : Then I'm happy too. Joey Tribbiani : Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. Dude, where's my speech? That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. Joey Tribbiani : All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris. Rachel Green : Ok! Can't believe I'm risking this again, but you're on! All right Joe, you remember the rules! Heads I win, tails you lose. Joey Tribbiani : Just flip! Rachel Green : Ha, tails! Joey Tribbiani : Damnit! Chandler Bing : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Chandler Bing : So we thought we'd throw you little going away party around seven. Rachel Green : Oh, that sounds good! Monica Geller : Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow, shouldn't you be packing? Rachel Green : It's all done! Monica Geller : Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it. Rachel Green : I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane... Monica Geller : Ok, so you've done some good work! What about your carry-ons? Rachel Green : Oh, well. Everything that I need is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them. Monica Geller : Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! Chandler Bing : Where's your passport? Rachel Green : It should be right next to my plane ticket. Chandler Bing : Well, it's not. Rachel Green : What? Maybe I put it in here . Oh, oh, it's not in there! Oh, no! I must have packed it in one of these boxes! Monica Geller : Here, let me help you. Rachel Green : Shoot. Oh, I can't believe I did this! Chandler Bing : At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport? OPENING SEQUENCE. Monica Geller : Oh, wow, can you believe you're like three weeks away? Erica : I know. Monica Geller : You don't mind me touching your belly, do you? Erica : No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out. Ross Geller : Hey! Erica : Hi. Ross Geller : Hey Erica, welcome back to town! Wow, look how big you've gotten. Erica : That's because I'm pregnant! Ross Geller : Right, no, I understand. Erica : Oh, ok. I'm just always afraid that people think I'm just fat with big breasts. Ross Geller : No, no, I knew . Monica Geller : Okay, well, stop staring at them. Ross Geller : She brought them up! I didn't realize you were coming back so soon! Erica : Hey, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel. Monica Geller : Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel. Ross Geller : Hotel? Why isn't she staying with you guys? Monica Geller : Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense. Erica : Plus hotels are fun! My room has this little fridge full of free snacks! Ross Geller : Erica, those things aren't free. In fact they have one of the highest mark-ups of any consumer product... Monica Geller : Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants. Erica : I'll be right back. Ross Geller : Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place. Monica Geller : Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name. Ross Geller : No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey? Monica Geller : Yeah, it takes two incomes. Ross Geller : Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie. Monica Geller : Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room. Ross Geller : Mhm, packing - sexy cheerleader comedy. Monica Geller : Mhm, helpful brother - creepy loner at teen movie. Ross Geller : What are you guys doing? Joey Tribbiani : Try it, I can't feel a thing! Monica Geller : Are, are you kidding? This is packing? Chandler Bing : We're taking a break! Monica Geller : From? Chandler Bing : Jumping on the bed? Monica Geller : All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos! Ross Geller : You got it! . All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him! Chandler Bing : No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs. Joey Tribbiani : You guys hear a ringing? Chandler Bing : What the hell is this? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Handcuffs! And fur line, nice! I didn't know you guys had it in ya! Ross Geller : Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out. Chandler Bing : I didn't know Monica had these! Joey Tribbiani : Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard! Chandler Bing : Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for her... with scarves! Ross Geller : Bumming hard, guys, bumming hard. Phoebe Buffay : Hey! Monica Geller : Hey! Where's Mike? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig. Ross Geller : Yeah? Yeah, where is it? Phoebe Buffay : Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party. Ross Geller : Rock on! Phoebe : Wow, this is quite a spread! What is all this stuff? Monica Geller : Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange. Joey Tribbiani : Hey. Chandler Bing : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey, where's Rach? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second. Ross Geller : Great. Joey Tribbiani : Now it just hit her that she's leaving and she's kind of emotional so no one say anything to set her off, ok? Monica Geller : Yeah. #ALL# : Hey Rach, hey you. Ross Geller : Here she is! Rachel Green : Hi you guys! Joey Tribbiani : What did I just say? Rachel Green : No, no, no. It's ok. I'm gonna be fine. Monica Geller : Come here, I'll make you a drink. Ross Geller : Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel? Chandler Bing : I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place! Joey Tribbiani : You know, I had a chance to stop her too! Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. Wait a minute... Chandler Bing : Yes, Joe? Joey Tribbiani : I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning! Phoebe Buffay : You doing ok? Rachel Green : Well, I've been better. Phoebe Buffay : Uh-hmm. Rachel Green : You guys are gonna come and visit me, right? Phoebe Buffay : Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again! Rachel Green : I'm gonna miss you so much. Phoebe Buffay : I know. Rachel Green : You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here . Ross Geller : Hey, what do you think they're doing in there? Joey Tribbiani : Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching. Rachel Green : Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start. Phoebe Buffay : Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, but I do have something for you. Rachel Green : Oh, oh. . What is this? Phoebe Buffay : It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs! Rachel Green : I'm gonna throw this away, but thank you so much for the gesture! Monica Geller : Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these on my pillow. Chandler Bing : Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play! Monica Geller : What are you talking about? These aren't mine. Chandler Bing : Oh yeah, right! Good luck getting another scarf dance from me! Monica Geller : That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before. Chandler Bing : Really? Then what are they doing in our guestroom? Monica Geller : Rachel used to live in that room. Chandler Bing : Rachel... with handcuffs! Interesting! Monica Geller : Joey's bare ass! Chandler Bing : . Well played. Rachel Green : I love you Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay : I love you too. Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! Rachel Green : All right. Well, if I gonna do this, I'd better keep going. Phoebe Buffay : Ok. Rachel Green : Ok. Monica? Monica Geller : Yeah? Rachel Green : Can you come here with me for a minute? Monica Geller : Sure. Phoebe Buffay : Are you wearing waterproof mascara? Monica Geller : No. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, you're so screwed. Ross Geller : Hey. What was that all about? Phoebe Buffay : She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually. Ross Geller : Are you kidding? Oh my God... Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying. Ross Geller : Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations. Rachel Green : Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me... Monica Geller : I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too. Rachel Green : I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you... Monica Geller : You're the best friend I ever had. Rachel Green :  Monica Geller : What? Rachel Green : I... I... I... Monica Geller : That is so sweet. Ross Geller : Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing. Chandler Bing : Uh, Rach? Ross Geller : Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her. Joey Tribbiani : I really made you think about that thing uh? Chandler Bing : Uh, Rach... I think I have something that belongs to you. Rachel Green : Oh, I'm sure gonna miss pretending to laugh at your weird jokes that I don't get. Chandler Bing : No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room. Rachel Green : Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with... Chandler Bing : Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they? Rachel Green : Well, I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room. Chandler Bing : Pheebs! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Chandler Bing : I think these are yours. Phoebe Buffay : These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice. Rachel Green : Can I talk to you alone for a minute? Chandler Bing : Sure. You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you? Phoebe Buffay : Where do you think Mike really is? Rachel Green : Oh honey... Chandler Bing : Let me just say something... Because once we get into this, I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke... I just want to say that I... I love you... And, I'm gonna miss you. And I'm so sad that you're leaving. Rachel Green : Oh, you know what? Let's not say anything else. I love you. Chandler Bing : Ooh, not so tight... I'm sorry, just give me one more chance. Rachel Green : Okay. Oh... Rachel Green : Oh! Chandler Bing : I'm sor... Just go. Just go. I can't, I can't. Monica Geller : So, I guess you're next. You're ready? Ross Geller : I don't think so. Chandler Bing : Oh, you're definately not. I haven't cried like that in years. Monica Geller : You cried yesterday at the six o'clock news. Chandler Bing : That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic. Ross Geller : God! I can't believe she saved me for last. Why are they taking so long? Phoebe Buffay : I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well. #ALL# : No, no, no, no! Ross Geller : Okay, here we go... Rachel Green : Oh... Well... Ross Geller : Yeah... Rachel Green : I think I'm gonna take off. Ross Geller : Huh? Rachel Green : Oh, you guys. This was an amazing night. Thank you so much. I love you. Good night. Ross Geller : What? I don't get a goodbye? Joey Tribbiani : Lucky bastard! Ross Geller : Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me. Monica Geller : Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history it could be, you know, implicit. Ross Geller : Well, it needs to be plicit. Joey Tribbiani : All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad? Ross Geller : No, I don't think so. Phoebe Buffay : You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense. Monica Geller : Yeah. Mine too. Chandler Bing : Mine was a humdinger. Ross Geller : O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? NOT FROM YOU! Phoebe Buffay : Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her. Monica Geller : And say what? "You owe me a goodbye", I mean, he's got more pride than that. Ross Geller : THE HELL I DO! Ross Geller : I don't get a goodbye? Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things. Rachel Green : Ross... Ross Geller : Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. Monica Geller : I hope Ross isn't too upset. Joey Tribbiani : I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am. Phoebe Buffay : Tell me about it. Chandler Bing : Well, you can't say we don't know how to throw a party. Phoebe Buffay : All right, I think I'm gonna head out. Monica Geller : Uh, where do you think you're going? Phoebe Buffay : I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here. Monica Geller : We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in. Chandler Bing : Joey and I can finish up in the guest room. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah, yeah, good idea. Monica Geller : Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here. Chandler Bing : You couldn't be cool. Monica Geller : Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Monica Geller : Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong. Chandler Bing : Hey Mon, I think I figured out whose handcuffs they are. Monica Geller : You did? How? Chandler Bing : Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Let me see. Joey Tribbiani : Who's that dirty old lady? Chandler Bing : Monica's grandmother. Monica Geller : Nana liked it rough! Erica : Hi! #ALL# : Hey! Joey Tribbiani : Come on here, have a seat. Phoebe Buffay : How was your night? Erica : Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers. Monica Geller : Erica, are you okay? Erica : Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach aches. They come and go like every few minutes. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Relax! We just get her some antacids. Monica Geller : She doesn't have a stomach ache, she's in labor. Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, you got to get to the hospital. Monica Geller : All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! Chandler Bing : Honey, it's gonna be okay. Erica : You can do this. Just breathe. Monica Geller : Okay, okay... Okay, I feel a little better. Erica : Ooh! Are you sure? Monica Geller : Oh... Yes, I'm sure. Oh honey, let's go. Okay bye everyone. Joey Tribbiani : Chandler, wait, wait, wait... Chandler Bing : What? Joey Tribbiani : If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger. Rachel Green : You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care? Ross Geller : That's what it seemed like. Rachel Green : I cannot believe that after ten years, you do not know ONE thing about me. Ross Geller : Fine, then why didn't you say something? Rachel Green : Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh! Ross Geller : Rach! Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : You keep, you keep... You can't... Rachel Green : WHAT? Joey Tribbiani : A little more. Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : A little more, a little more. A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this. Phoebe Buffay : All right, ready? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. All right, now give me your best shot. Phoebe Buffay : All right, here it goes... Joey Tribbiani : Doesn't work... Jennifer Aniston : Previously on Friends. Monica Geller : Erica, are you okay? Erica : Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach-aches. They come and go like every few minutes. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : Relax! We'll just get her some antacids. Monica Geller : She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor! Chandler Bing : Oh my God! Rachel Green : So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. Ross Geller : Rach! Rachel Green : What?! Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Shh.. Go back to sleep. I have to go home. Ross Geller : Oh. This was amazing. Rachel Green : It really was. You've learned some new moves! Ross Geller : Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me "Sex for Dummies" as a joke. Rachel Green : Ah. Ross Geller : Who's laughing now? Rachel Green : I know! Monica Geller : Breathe, breathe, breathe... Good. Chandler Bing : Next time, can I say breathe? Monica Geller : No, last time you said it like Dracula, and it scared her! Can I get you anything? You want some more ice chips? Erica : No, I'm okay. Monica Geller : Alright, I'll be right back. Chandler Bing : Where are you going? Monica Geller : To use the bathroom. Chandler Bing : You can't leave me alone with her. Monica Geller : What? Chandler Bing : This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with! Monica Geller : What kind of social situation are you comfortable with? Chandler Bing : It's just that we've never spent any time, you know, alone together. Monica Geller : You'll be fine. Nah, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes. Chandler Bing : Okay. Chandler Bing : So, ah... Any plans for the summer? Erica : I don't know. Maybe church-camp? Chandler Bing : Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts? Erica : What? Chandler Bing : Well, it's just interesting. You know, because no one will ever know, because no one can experience both. Chandler Bing : One of life's great, unanswerable questions. I mean, who knows? Maybe there's something even more painful than those things? Like this. Phoebe Buffay : Morning. Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : What's that? Joey Tribbiani : It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler. Phoebe Buffay : It's a baby chick and duck! Joey Tribbiani : Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. Phoebe Buffay : I did not see that coming. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to. Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there. Phoebe Buffay : That is the rule, though. Phoebe Buffay : Guess what? You're almost an uncle! Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, and I have a definite feeling it's gonna be a girl. Ross Geller : Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl. Phoebe Buffay : Have you seen him throw a ball? Ross Geller : Is Rachel here? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you. Ross Geller : Uh, we, y'know, we worked things out. Phoebe Buffay : What's that smile? Did something happen with you two? Ross Geller : Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it! Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God. You and Rachel? Ross Geller : I know, it's pretty great. Joey Tribbiani : So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together? Ross Geller : Oh, I.. I don't know. We didn't really get to talk. Phoebe Buffay : But do you wanna get back together? Ross Geller : I don't know. It was incredible. I mean, it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. You know what? Yeah, I do. I wanna be together. Phoebe Buffay : YAY! Ross Geller : Shhh! Phoebe Buffay : Yay! Joey Tribbiani : So, so is she still going to Paris? Ross Geller : Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..." Rachel Green : Morning! Phoebe Buffay : Guess we'll never know how it ends. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Ross Geller : Hey. Rachel Green : Hey. Ross Geller : Hey. How did you sleep? Rachel Green : Good. You? Ross Geller : Good. Joey Tribbiani : I bet you did! Ross Geller : Uh. Would you guys mind giving us a minute? Joey Tribbiani : Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck? Rachel Green : Chick and the duck? Didn't they die... Phoebe Buffay : Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm. Ross Geller : So... Ross Geller : Morning. Rachel Green : You too. Last night was just wonderful. Ross Geller : It really was. Rachel Green : I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face. Ross Geller : I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be. Rachel Green : Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. Monica Geller : It's just a little bit more, honey. Erica : Help me! This hurts! Chandler Bing : Is it really that bad? Erica : Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse! Doctor : The baby's head is crowning. Monica Geller : Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this! Chandler Bing : I'm okay. Monica Geller : Chandler, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child! It's the miracle of life! Chandler Bing : Alright. Wow, that is one disgusting miracle. Doctor : Start pushing. Here we go. Here come the shoulders... Monica Geller : It's a... It's a boy! Chandler Bing : Wow! Erica : Is he okay? Doctor : He's just fine. Monica Geller : Oh, you did it! Chandler Bing : It's a baby! A beautiful little baby! And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see. Doctor : Would you like to cut the umbilical cord? Chandler Bing : Well, that's spongy. Monica Geller : Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! Oh, we are so lucky! Chandler Bing : I know. He has your eyes. Chandler Bing : I mean, I know that's not possible, but he does. Nurse : We'll just get him cleaned up a bit. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much. Erica : I'm really happy for you guys. Chandler Bing : How do you feel? Erica : I'm tired! Doctor : Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute. Monica Geller : I... I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now? Doctor : The next baby should be along in a minute. Monica Geller : We only ordered one! Doctor : You know it's twins, right? Chandler Bing : Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know! Doctor : I can't believe you didn't know it's twins! This has never happened before. Chandler Bing : Well, gosh. That makes me feel so special and good. Monica Geller : Wait, did you know it was twins? Doctor : Yeah, it's here in the paperwork we got from the clinic in Ohio. Monica Geller : Anybody tell you? Erica : I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby. Monica Geller : This is unbelievable. Erica : Twins actually run in my family. Chandler Bing : Interesting! Can I see you for a second? Chandler Bing : What do we do? Monica Geller : What do you mean "what do we do"? Chandler Bing : Twins! Twins!! Monica Geller : Chandler, you're panicking! Chandler Bing : Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?! Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one? Monica Geller : We can't split them up! Chandler Bing : Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody. Monica Geller : Okay, what if the person who adopts the other one is horrible? Chandler Bing : What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king? Monica Geller : Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt. Chandler Bing : Monica, we are not ready to have two babies! Monica Geller : That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children! Chandler Bing : Okay. Shhh... Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Okay! Chandler Bing : Okay! Doctor : It looks like we're about ready over here. Doctor : Come on, Erica, start pushing again now. Erica : Ow! Doctor : Here she comes! Chandler Bing : She? It's a girl? Doctor : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Well, now we have one of each! And that's enough! Ross Geller : And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! What did you say? Ross Geller : Nothing! What do you say to that? Phoebe Buffay : Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel! Ross Geller : No way! Joey Tribbiani : You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do? Ross Geller : What? Joey Tribbiani : Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go. Ross Geller : You really think so? Phoebe Buffay : I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..." Rachel Green : Hi! Phoebe Buffay : Can't a girl finish a song around here? Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Rachel Green : Hi! So I just dropped Emma off at my mom's. Ross Geller : Okay. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight? Rachel Green : No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday. Phoebe Buffay : Wow, eight hour flight with a one-year old? Good luck, mom. Rachel Green : Are you kidding? Eight hours with my mother talking about Atkins? Good luck, Emma! Ross Geller : Alright, you know what? You're right. I should at least tell her how I feel. Joey Tribbiani : Ross, wait! Ross Geller : What? What? Joey Tribbiani : Could you get me a muffin? Gunther : Rachel? Rachel Green : Yeah? Gunther : I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you. Gunther : I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know. Rachel Green : Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a cafe, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw. Rachel Green : Oh... Bye guys. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Phoebe Buffay : Unbelievable! Joey Tribbiani : Hey, you know what might help? Ross Geller : I'm not getting you a muffin! Monica Geller : Do you think they recognize each other from in there? Chandler Bing : Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet. Nurse : We're going to take Erica to recovery now. Monica Geller : There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica. Erica : Oh my God, that's just like my name! Monica Geller : Son of a gun, it is! Erica : Anyway, I'm gonna go and get some rest. I'm really glad I picked you guys. You're gonna make great parents. Even Chandler. Monica Geller : Okay, well, bye! Erica : Bye! Chandler Bing : Bye! Monica Geller : We'll call you! Erica : Okay. Chandler Bing : Have fun at church-camp! Monica Geller : Oh, look at these little bunnies! Chandler Bing : I know! You ready to trade? Monica Geller : Okay. Chandler Bing : Okay. Monica Geller : Alright, let's see.. Chandler Bing : We could trade later. Monica Geller : Yeah, I'm good. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, what are you working on? Joey Tribbiani : It's a... It's a "welcome home" sign for the baby. Phoebe Buffay : How sweet! Oh, is that the baby? Joey Tribbiani : No, I sat in the paint. Ross Geller : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel? Ross Geller : No, and I'm not going to. Phoebe Buffay : What? Joey Tribbiani : Why not? Ross Geller : Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun. Phoebe Buffay : How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way. You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night. Ross Geller : Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes... Phoebe Buffay : Uh, Joe? Joey Tribbiani : Damn it! Ross Geller : Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time. Phoebe Buffay : No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers! Mike Hannigan : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey! What do you have there? Mike Hannigan : Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but.. Ross Geller : Oh my God! You did that yourself? Phoebe Buffay : Honey, that's gorgeous! Joey Tribbiani : You know, the baby can't read, Mike! Rachel Green : Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby! Joey Tribbiani : Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise. Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard. Rachel Green : Oh my God! Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Hi! Oh my gosh! Chandler Bing : Hey. Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, so what is the big surprise? Rachel Green : Oh. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : What... What... Ross Geller : Okay, okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right? Monica Geller : Yes, it's twins! Ross Geller : Oh my God. Joey Tribbiani : Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they? Monica Geller : This is a boy, and that's a girl. Chandler Bing : Her name is Erica. Rachel Green : Aw.. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica. Chandler Bing : Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together. Monica Geller : Yeah, we named the boy Jack after dad. Ross Geller : Aw, he's gonna be so happy. Phoebe Buffay : Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!" Rachel Green : Oh my gosh. Wow, so beautiful. Mike Hannigan : I want one. Phoebe Buffay : Oh yeah? Well, tell me which one, and I'll try slip it in my coat. Mike Hannigan : Seriously. Wanna make one of those? Phoebe Buffay : One? How about a whole bunch? Mike Hannigan : Really? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull. Rachel Green : Oh, you guys, I can't believe this. But I'll leave now, or I'm gonna miss my plane. Monica Geller : I'm just so glad you got to see the babies. Rachel Green : Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much. Monica Geller : I love you. Chandler Bing : I love you. Monica Geller : Call us when you get there. Rachel Green : I will. Ross, come here. Rachel Green : I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it. Ross Geller : Neither will I. Rachel Green : Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there. Phoebe Buffay : So, you just let her go? Ross Geller : Yeah. Joey Tribbiani : Hey, maybe that's for the best. Ross Geller : Yeah? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye? Phoebe Buffay : But now she'll never know how he feels! Joey Tribbiani : Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. Right? Joey Tribbiani : Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her. Ross Geller : Yeah, that's true. Except I don't wanna get over her. Joey Tribbiani : What? Ross Geller : I don't! I wanna be with her. Joey Tribbiani : Really? Ross Geller : Yeah, I'm gonna go after her. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you are! Phoebe Buffay : Woo! Phoebe Buffay : Wait, wait! Get your coat! Get your coat! Ross Geller : My coat... Joey Tribbiani : This is so cool! Chandler Bing : I have no idea what's going on, but I am excited! Joey Tribbiani : But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say? Ross Geller : I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?! Phoebe Buffay : You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport. Ross Geller : Okay, guys, wish me luck. Phoebe Buffay : Hurry! Joey Tribbiani : Good luck, good luck! Ross Geller : There's no seatbelt! Phoebe Buffay : That's okay. If - if we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car. Ross Geller : Alright, alright, let's do this! Phoebe Buffay : Okay! Ross Geller : Hey! Man : 18th and East End. Phoebe Buffay : I - I don't take passengers. Man : Hey! The law says you have to accept any fare. Ross Geller : No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab. Man : Alright, I gotta report you. What's your medallion number? Phoebe Buffay : My medallion number is, "Get out of the cab!" Man : What? Ross Geller : Get out of the cab! Phoebe Buffay : Get out of the cab! Joey Tribbiani : Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now? Monica Geller : Now, that you can do. Joey Tribbiani : Alright! Joey Tribbiani : Ah... Chick Jr.? Duck Jr.? Don't hide from mama! Phoebe Buffay : You can open your eyes now. Ross Geller : Are we off the bridge? Phoebe Buffay : Yes. Ross Geller : Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive? Phoebe Buffay : Yes, she jumped right back up. Ross Geller : Oh my God, Phoebe, slow down! Phoebe Buffay : Do you wanna get to Rachel in time? Ross Geller : Yes, but I don't wanna die in your cab! Phoebe Buffay : You should have thought of that before you got in! Phoebe Buffay : Toll-booth. Ross Geller : What? Phoebe Buffay : Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment. Phoebe Buffay : Hurry! Ross Geller : Okay! Phoebe Buffay : Okay. Phoebe Buffay : Damn, that window is clean. Joey Tribbiani : Quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, tweet, quack... Chandler Bing : We were wondering what was taking so long with the gift, but now we understand you were doing this. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck! Chandler Bing : Really? You got us a chick and a duck? Monica Geller : Oh, great! Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone! Chandler Bing : Oh, don't worry, we'll find them. Monica Geller : Actually, I'm gonna go check on the twins. Chandler Bing : Alright. Monica Geller : Oh God! What did I just step on? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Chandler Bing : It's okay, it's just an egg roll. Monica Geller : Oh.. Joey Tribbiani : You stepped on my egg roll? Monica Geller : I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor. Joey Tribbiani : Just put it on a plate and leave. Chandler Bing : Okay, let's find these birds. Joey Tribbiani : Alright. Joey Tribbiani : Wait, wait. Do you hear that? Joey Tribbiani : Oh! They're in the table! Chandler Bing : Well, that can't be good! Joey Tribbiani : We gotta get them out of there! Chandler Bing : How? Joey Tribbiani : Oh, oh! Maybe we can lure them out. You know any birdcalls? Chandler Bing : Oh, tons, I'm quite the woodsman. Joey Tribbiani : Well, maybe we can just tip the table a little. Chandler Bing : Joey, wait! The ball! Joey Tribbiani : Oh! Joey Tribbiani : Oh God! So what do we do? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Maybe we can open this up somehow. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Chandler Bing : No... It's all glued together. Joey Tribbiani : Does that mean we have to bust it open? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Maybe. Joey Tribbiani : Oh my God! Chandler Bing : I know! It's.. It's the foosball table. Joey Tribbiani : All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine." Chandler Bing : Did that movie ever get made? Joey Tribbiani : It did not. Phoebe Buffay : Ross, where are you going? Ross Geller : To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab? Phoebe Buffay : What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before? Ross Geller : Not since my cop-show got cancelled. Phoebe Buffay : You have to get a ticket to get past security. Ross Geller : What? We're never gonna make it! Phoebe Buffay : Not with that attitude! Now, haul ass! Ross Geller : Okay, if you could all walk slower, that'd be great. Gate Attendant #1 : Madame, your passport please? Rachel Green : Oh my God! I was so afraid I wasn't gonna remember any of my high-school French, but I understood every word you just said! Gate Attendant #1 : Your boarding pass, please. Rachel Green : Oh. Rachel Green : Oh, shoot. I had it. Oh, I can't believe this. Gate Attendant #1 : Madame, if you don't have your boarding pass... Rachel Green : I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size. Gate Attendant #1 : Madame, you must have your boarding pass.. Rachel Green : Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem. Ross Geller : Hey, I need a ticket. Phoebe Buffay : Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out? Ross Geller : Fine, two tickets, I need two tickets. Phoebe Buffay : We're on our honeymoon. Ticket Agent : And the destination? Ross Geller : I don't care. Whatever is the cheapest. Phoebe Buffay : I'm so lucky I married you. Rachel Green : Oh! Shoot! Damn it! Where is it? Oh! Oh! I found it! I found it! Rachel Green : Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! You're a different person. Ross Geller : Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it? Phoebe Buffay : No, did we miss it? Ross Geller : No, no, no. That's impossible. It doesn't leave for another 20 minutes. Phoebe Buffay : Maybe we have the flight-number wrong. God. Monica Geller : Hello. Phoebe Buffay : Hey, it's me. Here's Ross. Ross Geller : What? Hey, hey, listen.. Monica Geller : Oh my God! Ross, you wouldn't believe the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen. Ross Geller : Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..? Monica Geller : Oh, I'm sorry. Shoot, they were doing it before. Ross Geller : That's alright. Listen, listen. Monica Geller : Oh, wait, wait, wait! Here they go again. Ross Geller : Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..? Monica Geller : Isn't that cute? Ross Geller : That is precious! Listen! I need Rachel's flight information. Monica Geller : Oh, okay. Alright, it's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40. Ross Geller : Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board. Monica Geller : That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport. Ross Geller : What? Monica Geller : Newark airport. Why, where are you? Ross Geller : JFK. Joey Tribbiani : Don't worry, you guys, we're gonna get you out of there. Chandler Bing : And we're also gonna buy you tiny, bird hearing-aids. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Here goes. Chandler Bing : What's the matter? Joey Tribbiani : I need to say goodbye to the table first. Chandler Bing : I understand. Joey Tribbiani : Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything? Chandler Bing : I don't know. Except that, for one last time... Good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game. Joey Tribbiani : Okay, here we go. I can't do it. Chandler Bing : Well, I can't do it either. Monica Geller : Hey! Did you find them? Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, they're stuck inside the table! Chandler Bing : We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it! Monica Geller : Oh, well sure. This gotta be so hard. I'll do it. Gimme! Ross Geller : Phoebe! Wow! No, no, no! Phoebe Buffay : Well, I've never gone this fast before. Ross Geller : Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time. Phoebe Buffay : She's got her cell, you could call her. Ross Geller : I am not doing this over the phone. Phoebe Buffay : You don't have any other choice! Rachel Green : Hello? Phoebe Buffay : Rachel? Oh, good. Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane? Rachel Green : Yeah. Phoebe Buffay : For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport. Ross Geller : Yay. Phoebe Buffay : Uh, Rach, hang on. Rachel Green : Phoebe? Is everything okay? Phoebe Buffay : Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane. Rachel Green : What? Why? Phoebe Buffay : I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange. Rachel Green : Oh, honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane. Rachel Green : Alright, look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris. Passenger #1 : Uhm, what was that? Rachel Green : Oh, that was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane, because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left Philange. Passenger #1 : Okay, that doesn't sound good. Rachel Green : I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right. Passenger #1 : But she is sometimes. Rachel Green : Well... Rachel Green : Wait, what are you doing? Passenger #1 : Well, I can't take this plane now. Air Stewardess : Excuse me, sir, where are you going? Passenger #1 : I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange. Rachel Green : Could I get some peanuts? Passenger #2 : What's wrong with the plane? Air Stewardess : There's nothing wrong with the plane. Passenger #1 : Yeah! The left Philange! Air Stewardess : There is no Philange! Passenger #1 : Oh my God. This plane doesn't even have a Philange! Passenger #2 : I'm not flying on it! Air Stewardess : Ma'am, please sit down! Passenger #3 : What's going on? Passenger #1 : We're all getting off. There is no Philange! Rachel Green : This is ridiculous! I... Rachel Green : Yeah, okay. Monica Geller : Alright. My job here is done. Chandler Bing : That was... Impressive. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it! Monica Geller : Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later. Chandler Bing : Sorry about the table, man. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : You gonna buy a new one? Joey Tribbiani : Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go. Chandler Bing : Well, at least we got these little guys out. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Chandler Bing : Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh? Joey Tribbiani : I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again. Chandler Bing : Hey, you know what? Maybe we should keep them here with you. Joey Tribbiani : What? Chandler Bing : Yeah, I mean we've got a lot going on right now. And, plus, here they'd have their own room. Joey Tribbiani : I could get a goose! Chandler Bing : You know, I - I think you're set with the poultry. Joey Tribbiani : Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit. Chandler Bing : I think there may be another reason. So, awkward hug or lame cool guy handshake? Joey Tribbiani : Uh, lame cool guy handshake, yeah. Gate Attendant #2 : Ma'am, I assure you, the plane is fine. Passenger #2 : And you fixed the Philange? Gate Attendant #2 : Yes, the Philange is fixed. As a matter of fact, we put a whole lot of extra Philanges onboard, just in case. Ross Geller : Where is she? Phoebe Buffay : I don't see her. Ross Geller : Rachel! Rachel Green! Phoebe Buffay : There she is! Ross Geller : Rachel! Rachel! Gate Attendant #2 : Wow, excuse me, sir, do you have a boarding pass? Ross Geller : No, no, I just have to talk to someone. Gate Attendant #2 : I'm sorry, you cannot go any further without a boarding pass. Ross Geller : No, no, no, but... Phoebe Buffay : RACHEL!! Rachel Green : Oh my God... What.. What are you guys doing here? Phoebe Buffay : Okay, you're on. Rachel Green : What? What? Ross, you're scaring me. What's going on? Ross Geller : Okay, the thing is.. Rachel Green : Yeah? Ross Geller : Don't go. Rachel Green : What? Ross Geller : Please, please stay with me. I am so in love with you. Please, don't go. Rachel Green : Oh my God. Ross Geller : I know, I know. I shouldn't have waited 'till now to say it, but I'm.. That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane. Gate Attendant #2 : Miss? Are you boarding the plane? Ross Geller : Hey, hey. I know you love me. I know you do. Gate Attendant #2 : Miss? Rachel Green : I - I have to get on the plane. Ross Geller : No, you don't. Rachel Green : Yes, I do. Ross Geller : No, you don't. Rachel Green : They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Ross Geller : Rachel? Rachel Green : I'm so sorry. Ross Geller : I really thought she'd stay. Phoebe Buffay : I'm sorry. Monica Geller : Well, that's it. Everything's packed. Chandler Bing : Wow, this is weird. Monica Geller : I know. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat? Monica Geller : I put three lasagnas in your freezer. Joey Tribbiani : I love you! Joey Tribbiani : Hey! Phoebe Buffay : Hey. Joey Tribbiani : So did you guys make it in time? Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway. Chandler Bing : Where's Ross? Phoebe Buffay : He went home. He didn't want to see anybody. Rachel Green : Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane. Ross Geller : Oh my God! Rachel Green : Excuse me? Air Stewardess : Miss? Please, sit down! Rachel Green : I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I need to tell someone that I love love them. Air Stewardess : Miss, I can't let you off the plane. Ross Geller : Let her off the plane! Air Stewardess : I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat. Rachel Green : Oh, please, miss, you don't understand! Ross Geller : Try to understand! Rachel Green : Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off... Ross Geller : No! No! Oh my God. Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane? Rachel Green : I got off the plane. Ross Geller : You got off the plane. Rachel Green : I do love you. Ross Geller : I love you too, and I'm never letting you go again. Rachel Green : Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again. Ross Geller : Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid. Rachel Green : Okay. You and me, alright? This is it. Ross Geller : This is it. Unless we're on a break. Ross Geller : Don't make jokes now. Monica Geller : Okay, please be careful with that. It was my grandmother's. Be careful. Monica Geller : If that falls off the truck, it wouldn't be the worst thing. Ross Geller : Wow. Rachel Green : I know. It seems smaller somehow. Joey Tribbiani : Has it always been purple? Chandler Bing : Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal! Phoebe Buffay : Hey, do you realise that at one time or another we all lived in this apartment? Monica Geller : Oh, yeah, that's true. Ross Geller : Uh, I haven't. Monica Geller : Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer? Ross Geller : Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up? Monica Geller : Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys. Chandler Bing : Oh, okay. Phoebe Buffay : So, I guess this is it. Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. I guess so. Monica Geller : This is harder than I thought it would be. Chandler Bing : Oh, it's gonna be okay. Rachel Green : Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time? Monica Geller : We got some time. Rachel Green : Okay, should we get some coffee? Chandler Bing : Sure. Where?
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